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loki-hargreeves · 2 years

Text

So Cold

Pairing: mainly Jake Lockley x fem!Reader (established relationship), Steven Grant x fem!Reader & Marc Spector x fem!Reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, suggestive stuff [making out, dirty talk, smutty undertones etc], gun violence, car accident, near death situation [drowning], angst, vulgar language, mentions of blood, hospitalization, character death [you and the moon boys will be fine], hurt/comfort

Word Count: 9,5K

Summary: Your date gets interrupted by Jake’s enemies and you end up trapped underwater.

A/N: Not my best but this concept has lived in my head rent free for weeks. @davosmymaster has been lovely enough to brainstorm with me and also help me with most of the Spanish parts <3 Any and all mistakes are mine!!! 😤

Please don’t come at me for any technical stuff. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a car that’s stuck underwater nor am I a medical expert (I’m basing it on personal experiences). Just enjoy the vibes <3

YOUR POV

“Jake, oh my god!” Your laughter filled the car and his ears, his name fitting somewhere in between the joyous erupts. The sun was setting below the horizon, directly in front of you as the final rays of the day bounced off the deep, dark sea. Everything was golden with hints of pink and orange. Late autumn leaves were carried by the gentle wind, cascading down onto the ground and some landing on the hood of the vehicle surely to be blown away when you’d eventually drive home.

When he looked at you trying to contain your adorable laughter after the terrible joke he told only moments earlier, he swore he felt his heart expand in his chest. Tearing his eyes off of you was impossible, not even the picture perfect sunset being a match to you, the love of his life smiling so wide it reached your eyes. If telling bad jokes always made you laugh like that, Jake would never stop.

Jake was happy.

Truly happy.

He hadn’t known this kind of love and pure bliss prior to meeting you. Before, his existence consisted mainly of protecting others and dealing with the worst of the worst. Every touch he felt was rough and cold, with violent intentions. When he felt your loving touch, he was hooked. It took time but Jake learned to long for it. Jake hadn’t lived much for himself nor had anyone ever protected him. Not that he really needed protection, not like that. But the way you loved him and made him feel was enough. You protected his heart.

That day had been wonderful so far and there was no doubt in his mind that the night would be just as good. Since it was Jake’s day, he had taken you out on a date to surprise you. Sure, there were some bumps on the road; the restaurant he had wanted to take you to was closed due to water damages, the plumbing had seen better days at that place.

That didn’t stop you, no. You and Jake opted for fast food instead and drove to a remote area to watch the sunset and eat your food in the car instead. Sure, it had felt a bit ridiculous to walk into a fast food place in your fancy clothes but in a way, it was amusing. The heels, the dress, the suit Jake was wearing that made it hard for you to keep your hands off of him. If the weather had been nicer, you would’ve eaten outside but winter was nearing quickly. Staying in the car where it was warm, especially when you were only in a thin dress, was much better.

Somehow, that was one of your best dates so far. Just the two of you, the sunset and a lot of privacy which allowed opportunities for you to get all touchy and hands-on with each other without being judged by strangers. Jake never loved the way some people, especially other guys, would look at you. He couldn’t blame them though, because you were an absolute goddess. He felt so lucky to be with you, to be able to call you his girl. People who knew what was best for them knew not to even think about getting between you and Jake. The same applied for you and Marc and Steven. The harmony you all had was beautiful and nothing could possibly disrupt that.

Even the music was excellent tonight because the car was connected to your Spotify account. Jake had put some of his favourite songs in the queue. Right now, you were listening to a tune he always loved to sing and whistle around the flat, más allá del sol. It reminded you of the time he had completely surprised you one evening as he played the song and swayed with you in the living room. Jake Lockley was more romantic than you had ever expected him to be - and you loved everything about it.

“You have something there,” Your laughter faded after a while and you pointed at Jake’s cheek with a mischievous smile on your face. It was clear as day you had something up your sleeve.

“Here?” Jake raised an eyebrow, playing along. He pointed past the moustache he had been growing. They had decided to let their facial hair grow after they all learned how much you liked that. Besides, it looked good. Fantastic, actually.

“More like…” You began as you leaned closer to Jake and wrapped your hand around the black tie around his neck. As said, you two were definitely overdressed for a fast food date. Then you tugged at it, pulling Jake’s face close to yours.

“...right here,” You whispered and shamelessly kissed his cheek, concealing the fact that there hadn’t actually been anything on his face. You just wanted to kiss him. There was no harm in that, right?

Jake felt all warm and fuzzy inside when your lips pressed against his skin. He was sure you were able to tell it made his cheeks heat up, not that he’d admit it. The fact that you were acting like this just to smooch his cheek made Jake feel a lot of things. He wanted to return the favour before you’d drive him mad with your little antics.

“If you wanted a kiss, mi amor, you could’ve just asked,” Jake explained. Yup. He had definitely turned soft but he didn’t mind because it was all for you. He looked in your eyes, willing to get lost in the beauty and mystery that was hidden in them, something magnetizing behind your coated lashes that tried to captivate him time after time - and it worked. They said eyes were the doors to one’s soul, there was no doubt about that when he gazed into yours.

“Making you blush is more fun,” You teased. Of course, you did.

“Oh come here you,” Jake had finally reached the point of not being able to keep his hands off of you any longer. He cupped your face with his hands, fingers resting against the back of your head as he kissed you. It was fierce and passionate, a kiss that instantly took your breath away and wiped away the playful gleam. That was replaced by a burning desire, a need that only he could satisfy and you were willing to do anything for.

Jake’s tongue slipped past your lips as he tasted you, his needy and unabashed kiss making you moan. Not even the music could hide the fact. Your closed your eyes and tilted your head, needing him to get closer somehow. In a desperate attempt, you tangled your fingers in his dark locks, pulling him closer while also holding onto him for support as the kiss threatened to make you swoon. Just one kiss was all it took, the feeling of his soft stubble poking lightly against your skin and his hands now roaming down your body, toying with the straps of your dress.

As Jake pulled back from the kiss with glistening lips, it was his time to smirk.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Jake wondered in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine. It didn’t help that his breath landed on your neck, making you think about just how amazing his lips would feel on the sensitive skin. The answer to his question was quite obvious but he thought it was fun to tease you too.

“Please,” You nodded, running your fingers down his neck and then beginning to work on loosening his tie, “I’ve wanted you from the moment you walked out the house in this suit.”

“Really?” Jake acted surprised, peppering light kisses on your neck, right above your increasing pulse and inhaling the sweet, sweet scent of your perfume, “Maybe I should wear it more often. Had no clue you so into men in suits.”

“Liar,” You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well he knew what he was doing.

“Well you’re in luck, cariño,” Jake rolled one strap off your shoulder, kissing the newly exposed skin rather tenderly, “because I’ve been thinking about fucking you dumb ever since you put this dress on.”

This was the Jake you knew, being so shameless with his words yet the boldness did wonders to you. Those words went right to your core. If he kept talking to you like that as his lips were on a journey to touch every inch of your skin, you weren’t sure you’d be able to wait until you got home. You needed him now.

“Jake…” You whimpered his name, feeling your heart thundering in your chest. It wouldn’t be the first time you two got adventurous outside the flat but you wanted to make sure no one could accidentally see you.

Jake knew that. There was no way in hell he’d ever expose you like that, not when he knew what kinds of creeps existed out there. With a quick glance, he looked past your shoulder and in the side mirror. Now that the sun had set, it was darker outside but not dark enough to let anyone hide in the shadows. In fact, it made it clearer than before that there was a car nearby, parked sort of behind you two. That was definitely odd as your car was blocking the view, there was no sensible reason for anyone to be there.

When Jake put his hand on your thigh and sat up straight, you just knew something was wrong. The look on his face said it all. It’s like his mind shut out everything else and focused solely on the fact that you had to get away.

“What’s going on?” You tried to look behind and out the window, but Jake didn’t let you. He urged you to fasten your seat belt as he started the engine with a roar.

The people in the other car realized they had been caught. Their headlights turned on when they prepared to follow you for whatever reasons they had. It couldn’t be good. Suddenly the mood had gone from excitement to genuine fear. The kisses and butterflies had flown out the window, replaced by confusion and worry. Jake got on the road and began speeding up immediately, knowing the best option was to put distance between you and the people who had interrupted your date.

“There’s a gun in the glove box,” Jake told you with a flat tone. He tried so intently to stay neutral for your sake because he didn’t want to scare you. Jake recognized the car that was now tailing you and that plagued him. If anything happened to you now, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“A gun?” You didn’t know why you were surprised. As the initial shock disappeared, you followed the unspoken instructions and opened the glove box. Just as he had said, there was a gun there. The sight made you feel uneasy. What was happening?!

“Do you remember how to use it?” Jake wondered, needing to know that in case things got ugly.

“Are you serious right now?”

“It’s a yes or no question!” He snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh but neither of you had time for bickering. As he took a look in the rear view mirror, he saw the car coming closer and closer. Cars. There were more of them now, each car speeding toward you at a dangerous rate. Something flashed in the reflection. They had a gun too. Most likely guns.

“Yes! I remember how to shoot, Jake.”

“Good,” Jake hit the gas pedal, taking a rough turn to the right. The road was bumpy and in terrible condition, leading you down the hill. There was water surrounding it which meant that this road was the only way out of there. Either that or a swim in the cold, murky water that was quite the long fall away. Walking through the woods wasn’t an option either.

“Joder!” Jake cursed, angry at the fact he hadn’t noticed the car earlier. His mind jumped to the worst places, thinking about every possible scenario from start to finish. Every what-if was already taunting Jake. What would’ve happened if they had gone by unnoticed for longer? What did these people want from him? From you? Guilt was already creeping up to Jake, squirming underneath his skin like a worm and making him feel sick.

He should’ve been more alert. Letting his guard down for just one damn day had been foolish. Jake couldn’t believe this was happening.

You shook your head in disbelief as you stared at the empty road ahead, squeezing the gun in your hands. Although you were prepared to fight, your mind tried so desperately to distance itself from what was going on. The weapon was heavy in your soft hands. You didn’t want to use it but knew you would if someone threatened to hurt Jake. The thought of anyone wanting to hurt him made you sick, it sparked a raging fire you would never be able to tame. So you took a few deep breaths, chasing away the crippling fear that threatened to get the best of you. This was not the time to freak out.

“I'm sorry, mi vida,” Jake hadn’t meant to snap at you but the situation was stressful to say the least. Stress brought out a different side of him. Jake was a protector to the core but he wasn’t used to working like this. Jake preferred going solo against these assholes. Surprisingly gently, considering the circumstances, he reached out to grab your hand, giving you a squeeze before taking the gun away from you. That was simultaneously a relief and incredibly alarming.

“Who are they?” You wondered, trying to put the pieces together, to focus on facts instead of the terrifying and unreliable conclusions in your head. Everything happened so fast. One moment you had been all over each other and now some shady people were tailing you. Jake was holding the gun. You were awfully aware of your own breathing and it became more and more difficult to control it.

“Bad people,” Jake groaned, being vague on purpose. He was aware of the fact you weren’t doing well and it was killing him on the inside. Truly, it shattered his very soul to know you must’ve been scared out of your mind, not knowing the whats and whys. You had done nothing wrong and yet here you were, being hunted like an animal. If only he had a chance to comfort you, he would’ve. Right now though, he could only focus on getting rid of these people and driving far away from here.

As if to confirm what Jake just said, a shot echoed and the rear window shattered. It was loud and it made you flinch. In an instant, Jake pushed your head down as far as you could go, not giving those people a chance to aim at you. He’d rather catch those bullets in his arm than to have them anywhere near you.

He made sure the road ahead was clear so he didn’t have to focus on steering for the next second or two. Another gunshot was heard which came from Jake’s gun. This one was louder. It made your ears ring painfully which seemed to be the least of your worries. He had the gun pointing at the nearest car from behind his headrest, forcing the ‘bad people’ to dodge too. Jake pulled the trigger again, successfully breaking the windshield and disarming the man in the passenger seat. His bullet seemed to have gone right through his shoulder.

After firing behind a few more times, Jake had successfully gotten rid of one of the cars. It lost its steering and ended up spinning around on the road and disappearing into the rear view. Before you knew it, it was far out of sight.

This was getting nasty.

Another round of shots forced Jake to dodge, giving him a chance to look at the road and make sure nothing was in your way and that you weren’t driving into a ditch. He had been in car chases and shootouts many times before but never like this, never with your life on the line.

Jake had Khonshu’s protection, you didn’t.

“Jake, let me help!” You were fighting your tears, hating how useless you felt.

“Please.”

He opened his mouth to protest, thinking there was no reason to make you do anything unless it was absolutely necessary but when he saw your determined expression, Jake couldn’t just say no. The situation was dire. Focusing on the road ahead while dodging bullets and shooting at people when you were right there was too risky. There was a reason they all had trained you to fight. It was now or never.

“Aim at the tires,” Jake instructed you as he handed you the gun, trusting you. He had to. He wanted you to aim at the tires instead of the driver because he knew taking a life wasn’t easy. Jake didn’t wish that burden upon you.

With a deep breath, you pointed the deadly weapon at the enemy, struggling to see properly through the thousands of cracks and holes in the window of the nearest car that tailed you. As well as you possibly could, you tried to control the tremble in your hands.

Focus...focus!

Before you got a chance to comprehend what was really happening, something hit the side of the car completely out of the blue and it hit you hard. The impact steered you off road instantly despite Jake hitting the brakes so hard that they screetched. Everything became a haze and you lost your sense of balance, dropping the gun in the process. Whether you were upside down or sideways, you had no way of telling. Thud after thud, it became harder to even guess. Hell, it was so sudden you didn’t even get a chance to comprehend what was really going on.

The last thing you picked up before hitting your head against the side of the car was Jake’s voice. He yelled out your name with panic and fear in his voice you had never heard before. It completely broke your heart.

“Wake up, you idiot!”

What the hell?

“You need to get out of the car, Lockley. You’ve got no time to waste.”

Followed by Khonshu's echoing words, Jake felt the brutal sting of the cold that had enveloped his entire body. His eyes opened up wide in surprise and fear. Not only was it cold to the point it felt like his muscles were burning, it was so dark that he couldn’t see anything at all. How long had he been out?

Water was rising rapidly, pouring into the car from bullet holes and rising up Jake’s legs. It had already reached his waist, soaking his clothes and threatening to take the rest of him too. Jake didn’t fear for himself, he found himself worrying over someone else entirely.

You

Were you okay?

“Y/N!”

Jake snapped his head instinctively to his side and reached out to make sure you were there. After blinking a few times while trying not to freak out, he managed to find the light switch on the ceiling of the car. Miraculously, the lights still worked but they were already flickering. They revealed the murky water that was pulling the vehicle deeper and deeper below the surface, with no promise of ending any time soon. It seemed like an endless abyss.

Then Jake saw blood. Crimson had painted your skin and hair, dripping into the water below and washing away into the vast sea. There was a wound on the side of your head that made Jake feel ill. If the water hadn’t frozen his body by now, the sight certainly did. It’s like his heart stopped for a moment when he realized how hopeless this situation seemed. Jake couldn’t believe he had failed to protect you.

You were unconscious, the seat belt being the only thing keeping you from hunching over into the icy pool below your waist. There was a notable dent in the side of the car, the metal compressed together like a crushed soda can. Whether your legs had wiggle room or not, Jake couldn’t tell. Judging by all the blood, the answer was more gruesome than he wished for it to be.

Jake summoned his suit, feeling how the material wrapped around his body and offered some shield from the biting, frosty water. Without wasting any more time, he ripped his seat belt off with ease thanks to his powers. They really came in handy now as the water pressure had trapped you like bugs in a jar. The belt snapped in half loudly and caused Jake to stumble to the side a little bit. He didn’t know if he was injured or not - it didn’t matter. Jake felt the water rising past his waist and chest, ever so surely making the air bubble smaller and smaller.

Khonshu hadn't been lying when he said there was no time to waste.

“Come on…” Jake groaned through gritted teeth, kicking the already smashed dashboard in order to free your body from the trap the crash had created. His movements were slower than he wanted them to be underwater. Either way, the car bent due to the force, freeing your legs. The damage caused more water to flood inside. It splashed around as he searched for your seat belt, hardly feeling his hands at this point. As he eventually found it, he yanked it out of the lock with a snap and caught your body that slumped forward as the belt no longer secured you.

"I've got you," Jake didn't know if you could hear him but he needed to believe you could. It made him feel less lonely.

Jake’s body was trembling uncontrollably, his teeth beginning to chatter as his breaths became forced and sharp. Despite all that, he managed to pull you toward him, guiding your legs up from the leg room and praying to whoever heard him that you weren’t in too much pain. To his horror, he didn’t feel your body heat. Your skin was ice cold - it must’ve been normal under these circumstances. Jake refused to believe there was any other explanation.

In the poor lighting the car offered, Jake could see that his breath was foggy. However, it was more than just alarming when he realized you weren’t breathing at all. Your eyelashes rested against your bloody cheeks and you looked like you were sleeping. Why weren’t you breathing?!

“Amor,” Jake hoped to catch your attention, that somehow you would reply to him and open those pretty eyes of yours. Oh what he would give to see you looking back at him.

Jake needed to drag you out of there and get you the help you needed. That’s exactly what he was going to do. If doctors couldn’t help you then Khonshu had to. If not, Jake would make that old bird regret it for the rest of his goddamn days.

When he didn’t get a response from you and you looked like that, so tranquil and relaxed as death crept around the corner, the entire world around him shattered. There was no way he’d give up on you this easily but Jake had seen enough bodies in his lifetime to see the striking resemblance.

“No, no, no,” Jake had never felt this way before. This hopeless and terrified, like a child in a room full of corpses. It was like hell had frozen over. Everything about this situation was obscure and so fucking unfair. This was not how it would end! Not like this… Jake couldn’t let that happen. You had so much to live for, so many things yet to see and do. He would give his life if it meant you got to keep yours.

If Marc and Steven had been co-conscious and speaking all this time, Jake didn’t notice until now. He was holding you as Steven’s voice broke the silence, carrying above the sound of water filling the space nearly to the brim. At the very same time, the lights gave out, abandoning you all in a void. That made the bone-reaching coldness all the more brutal as it was overwhelmingly the only thing Jake could really feel. Adrenaline was coursing through his body but even that couldn’t block out the chilling temperature.

“Jake, you’ve got to get us out of here! Now!” Steven was frightened, feeling the panic growing stronger by the second. His sense of survival was stronger and so he urged Jake to do something - anything that would ensure you’d live to see another day.

“Ya lo sé!” Jake wasn’t angry, at least not with Steven. He was just frustrated because of the pressure he was under. He knew he had to get out of there and having his alter freaking out too wasn’t really helping.

“Oh my god, why isn’t she breathing? Jake?! Jake…”

Marc couldn’t even speak. There were no words that did justice to how he felt as memories of his past flooded him and merged with the present. He had caught a glimpse of you slack and boneless in Jake’s arms as water surrounded you all the way up to your shoulders, rising up and up.

Steven’s voice faded into the background as Jake got into action. It’s like he spaced out and worked on autopilot. He had one mission and that was to get you out of there alive. Nothing else mattered.

How cruel was it that fate threatened to put you through the same torture as it had put Randall through? At that very moment, Marc was convinced his existence was cursed.

Jake needed to stop ‘fate’ before it was too late. It better not dare take you now. This was not your time!

He pulled you as close to him as he possibly could, making sure his grip was secure because he knew that the moment you’d plunge out of the car, he couldn’t risk losing you. Not when it was so dark. Not when you weren’t even breathing on your own! One wrong move and he feared he’d lose you forever. That was simply not an option.

With one last, deep breath, Jake pushed your face into his suit as if to shield your face from the water and then he kicked as hard as he could. It took a couple of tries but eventually, he kicked off the entire door, which disappeared into the shadows instantly. The air bubble was lost as water surged into the car, rushing in so fast it forced Jake to hold onto you even tighter. Finally, he made it out of the car, using his powers to move up instead of sinking to the bottom like the car did. It was probably going to stay down there for a while.

The only way to tell which was up was by blowing out air and following the direction of the bubbles. In the pitch-darkness, he relied on his other senses, feeling the bubbles moving up his face. Jake felt disorientated and dizzy, but he trusted his senses as he surged through the water and hoped it was toward the surface.

Then, at last, he began to see something again. Distant lights were guiding him in the right direction. Street lamps and city lights from far, far away. Jake reached the surface of the water and immediately sucked in another deep breath, relieved as his lungs expanded with air instead of water. As he breathed in and out a few times, he tasted mud and blood on his tongue.

He soared above the surface with you limp in his arms. The cape was drenched, weighing heavy on Jake’s shoulders. It was the first thing to reach the ground, instantly followed by his boots. As he felt secure on the ground, Jake examined his surroundings through narrowed eyes, not daring to let go of you until he knew it was safe. The shore consisted mainly of countless of rocks and dirt. There was a steep hill that lead up to the road. Right now, that offered you some shelter. Jake couldn’t see any of the cars that had been chasing you. They must’ve assumed you wouldn’t make it out of there alive.

As much as Jake wanted to go and find them, anger boiling in his veins as he thought about what they had done, he stayed put. Vengeance could wait. You couldn’t. He lowered you on your back ever so carefully and knelt by your side, the black and white cape pooling around you two. Jake made sure your head was positioned in a way that wouldn't cause further damage to the gnarly wound. Under the faint, blue glow of the moon, Jake made out your relaxed expression. That scared him beyond comprehension.

Not only that, the dress you wore did little to hide the damage the crash had caused. Cuts and bruises were scattered across your body but seeing your legs out of the water for the first time really showed how bad it was. It didn’t take a doctor to know something was broken. Jake saw the bright, red blood that gushed out of a deep wound on your thigh. After all this time, it was still pumping out blood at an alarming rate.

He cursed as he ripped his cape, not giving a damn what Khonshu thought of it as he used the material to stop the bleeding. Not that it mattered anyway, as the material reappeared out of thin air. Jake secured it around your leg as tightly as he could, hating that he had to use this kind of force on you although he knew it was for the best. If he didn’t stop the bleeding, you’d bleed out. That was much worse.

As he was done with stopping the bleeding, Jake parted his quivering lips as if to say something but nothing came out. Jake brushed your wet hair to the side, gently caressing your face in doing so and then he tried to feel your breath with the back of his hand.

Still nothing.

It only took a moment and he had pulled your head back gently to open your airways as his hands pressed together above your heart. Then without hesitating, he started to push down in a steady rhythm. Everyone always said to give chest compressions in the rhythm of a few certain songs but when the moment arrived, that was the last thing one could think about. Jake relied on Steven's help to merely count the compressions. The black and white fabric vanished from around his head so it wasn’t in the way.

An unfamiliar sting blurred Jake's vision as he tried to resuscitate you. The longer he knelt by your side, pushing your ribcage down in a way that felt way too rough, the more he dreaded the outcome. Why were you still not breathing?! He bent down to meet your lips, pinching your nose shut as he tried his best to breathe air into your lungs as steady as he possibly could. It was difficult to think that only moments before he had kissed your lips, not knowing it could’ve potentially been the very last time.

Jake pulled back, shoved his dark thoughts away and used all his strength to focus on the compressions. This was repeated again. Again. And again...

"Por favor!" Jake cried out like never before, begging for you to be okay. You had to be okay!

Truth be told, Jake began to lose focus. He never lost focus on missions. This was different. When he was faced with the chance of losing you, it shook him right to the core. The very foundation he had built with you, the safety net of knowing you were there was now threatening to slip through his fingers. Dread was making Jake feel sick to his stomach. Nothing he was doing seemed to help and that was the single most haunting realization of his life.

Jake had failed to protect you.

"Abre los ojos, mi amor. Por favor," he pleaded with raw desperation in his voice. Had Jake's enemies seen him now, they would've thought he was a man possessed. His brows furrowed in a sorrowful manner, deep brown eyes filling with tears. Jake Lockley was crying for you. His tough and cool demeanour was nowhere to be seen. How could he possibly keep a grip on himself in a moment like this? Even Jake was just a man who loved with his entire heart.

"Breathe for me. Just breathe." That’s all he asked for. He was sorry but he didn’t ask for forgiveness. Only for you to breathe.

“Lo siento mucho,” numerous apologizes slipped past his quivering lips. Could you even hear him? Did you know how sorry he was for this?

Then it happened. Seemingly out of the blue, your eyes opened as a coughing fit forced you to turn to the side. Jake pulled his hands back from your chest and looked at you in shock. Although, as he heard the struggle in your breath, he instantly rushed to your aid. Jake rubbed your back and encouraged you to let it all out and then fill up those lungs. The coughing fit came to a halt and you were taking in deep and shaky breaths. They revealed that you were in pain but god was it a relief to know you were alive.

It was a miracle if Jake had ever seen one.

Whatever hope and joy he had felt for only a moment was quickly wiped away when he heard the pain in your voice.

“Jake!” You sobbed his name, hands trying to reach your thigh where the shooting pain came from but he stopped you. Tears welled up in your eyes instantly. Everything hurt in a way you had never felt before. You wanted it to stop.

“You’re okay. You’ll be fine, I promise,” Jake gave you his word but that was hard to believe when you writhed on the rocks in pure agony. His words went in one ear and out the other. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t find comfort in them. Not when it felt like every cell in your body had been torn apart.

“It hurts!” Those two words absolutely shattered Jake’s heart.

“I know. I’m so sorry,” Jake didn’t know what else to say. Words couldn’t heal you magically, could they? So what was the point? Knowing that you were in any kind of pain was just awful, truly awful. He wished he had the ability to take it all away in the blink of an eye. Somehow, he needed to take you to the nearest hospital but he was terrified of touching you and hurting you furthermore.

In a state of panic, you tried to sit up so you could see what was causing you so much pain, but moving your body was almost impossible. When you tried lift your head from the ground, a sharp sting in your neck forced you to stop. Flashes of what happened came to you, reminding you of the car chase. Where were the others now? Had Jake dealt with them? Or were they out there, waiting for an opportunity to strike again?

“What h-happened?” You wondered as hot tears rolled down your face. God it was cold. You didn’t notice until now how badly you were shivering. Even Jake was cold, his hands not warming up yours like they used to. Even in the state of shock you were in, you realized you were both soaking wet.

Jake didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted to get you somewhere safe where people could help you. But how? The car was in the bottom on the sea and he had no idea if it was safe to move you. Did you have whiplash? Inner bleedings? Would lifting you make it worse? How could he call for help when you didn’t have phones and the nearest house was probably miles away.

A gush of wind went right to Jake’s bones, making him shiver because of how cold it was but it also revealed that Khonshu was standing right behind him. He didn’t even have to look to know the god was looming over his shoulder. If not to help then Jake didn’t care. He had no patience for Khonshu’s games now.

“I suggest you get up. You’ve got company,” Khonshu warned Jake in a calm and collected way. The god’s words changed Jake’s demeanour. The people who had put you through so much already came back and it was the worst mistake those people had ever made. The spiraling panic and fear were wiped to the side as Jake nodded, acknowledging Khonshu’s warning.

There was no way in hell he would let them hurt you again.

As Jake heard an engine roaring nearby, coming closer and closer, he knew he had to protect you no matter what the cost. He looked down at you, silently apologizing for what he had to do. Even when he did it to make sure you were safe, he felt incredibly guilty for having to leave your side. Just a second was enough to make him feel rotten deep down to the core.

“Everything will be alright,” Jake bent down to your face level, looking you right in the eye as he spoke, “I promise.”

You heard the car as well which filled your every vein with terror. So you hadn’t managed to escape from them after all.

“Be careful,” You could hardly get the two words past your bloodied lips. You knew he was going to face them, there was no doubt about it. You had to trust he would come back for you.

He placed the softest kiss on your forehead, refusing to speak of the thoughts that tormented him. A kiss would have to do. It would have to express how sorry he was. It had to express his promise that he’d come back to you. That soon you wouldn’t feel all that pain anymore.

Then he got up, summoned the hood and the mask so he was fully suited and he got up the hill before the bad guys could come down and find you. If they did, Jake had zero doubt they would aim for you instead of him.

When Jake saw a familiar car parked on the other side of the road, he saw red.

The driver looked scared out of his mind when he faced Jake in his ceremonial armor, much darker than Marc’s, much more intimidating than Steven’s. His cape was now flowing in the wind and his eyes were glowing, glaring daggers into the man’s head. Jake looked furious even when the dark fabric covered his face. Rage was radiating off of him and the driver must’ve realized his mistake; coming after you again.

The driver pointed his gun at Jake and pulled the trigger. Twice. Three times. Then he stopped because the bullets seemed to do nothing to Jake. He kept walking toward the car with only one goal in mind - to defeat the enemy.

“Stop!” The terrified man yelled, trying to intimidate Jake Lockley. He needed a lot of luck if he wanted to succeed in that.

“Don’t come closer!”

Jake noticed another man in the passenger seat. He was already dead, presumably from the bullets that flew their way during the car chase. The driver would join his friend soon. Wherever they went to after this life.

As Jake reached the man, he tried to open the car door and use that to push Jake. Worth a shot, but Jake saw it coming so he slammed the door shut and trapped the man inside. The window was already rolled down so it made it easy for Jake to reach into the car and wrap his hand around the man’s neck. There wasn’t a single part of Jake that felt bad for crushing that man’s windpipe. There were worse things he could do but he didn’t have time. Oh if it was up to Jake, he’d rip his fucking spine out of his back. This was merciful when compared to what Jake would’ve done if you weren’t currently bleeding out on the rocks.

In a last, desperate attempt to come out of this alive, the man pointed the damn gun at Jake’s head. In just a split second, Jake used his other hand to grab the barrel of the gun. His grip was so tight that the solid metal barrel bent under his touch, forcing the bullet to get stuck somewhere in there. Now it was rendered useless and Jake didn’t hesitate to throw it out on the road, smashing it into bits and pieces in doing so.

“No debiste ni mirarla,” Jake made sure that the last thing this poor excuse of a man ever did was regret coming after you. He would have to die realizing the cost of that one mistake.

The man let out a silent scream or plea - it didn’t matter. His nails dug into Jake’s suit, trying to claw his way free from the deadly grip but to no avail. In fact, it just made Jake squeeze harder, pushing the man’s head into the seat because of the sheer force he was using.

As Jake stood there with his arm inside the vehicle, he looked around the empty road and deep into the dark woods. The silence was ominous. The loneliness a reminder of the fact no one was going to help you. Clouds swirled around the moon in the ever darkening sky. It was the only witness to this man’s early demise.

No one else had been stupid enough to follow you there.

Seeing you in that hospital bed was the worst thing Jake had ever seen in his entire life.

Hooked up to all these machines with needles and tubes sticking into you to the point he could hardly see your beautiful face. Instead of hearing the soft sounds of your relaced breaths, he was forced to listen to the beeping of a heart monitor and the low buzz of all the other machines that did things Jake didn’t even know about. That repeating beep was tantalizing.

But it was also a sign that you were alright. In a way, the worst sight he had ever seen was also a relief. You had gotten the help you needed and were now on the path of getting better. There was no place he’d rather be with you now than this hospital, surrounded by skilled experts who could rush in without wasting any time if you needed help.

Getting to the hospital felt like such a distant memory now. Jake had thrown the bodies out of the car and used it to get you from the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital. Despite the fact that driving was the reason you had gotten hurt in the first place, Jake drove again without hesitation. What were the odds of getting into another accident right after the first one, right?

He barely remembered what he had said when you reached the building. Nurses and guards had swarmed you, taking you away from Jake because they knew you needed urgent care. Letting them roll you away from him had been difficult to do. Jake was so scared someone would try to hurt you again. Trusting strangers with your life, even when they dedicated their lives in helping others, was incredibly difficult. By the time he realized the security guards were refusing him to follow you any further, Jake stopped.

You were getting the help you needed. There was nothing more he could do. Knowing that your fate was out of his control was scary. Jake had to trust these people to give you the care you needed and deserved. He didn’t trust easily.

Jake learned that they were performing emergency surgery on you when a doctor had walked up to him and asked all sorts of questions. The police had arrived too. Everything had been a bloody mess, as Steven would’ve said.

Hours later, it was all over. The questioning, the nauseating feeling of having to wait for you to get out of surgery. Just to hear that everything went well. Jake needed to know you’d make a full recovery. It took some convincing to do but finally, he was by your side in a hospital room and Jake wasn’t going anywhere.

What if more of those guys decided to find you? What if they found out where you were staying? Would they kill you if Jake left you alone for even a moment?

That was a risk he refused to take. He would rather sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair by your bedside and hold your hand all night long. Was it night or was it morning? Jake had no clue.

“Mate,” Steven’s careful voice snapped Jake out of the bubble of thoughts he had been in. He raised his gaze from your sleeping face to meet Steven’s in the reflection in the small mirror on the wall right above the sink. He looked worried sick. Worried about you and Jake.

“What?” Jake was beyond exhausted. His eyelids were heavy and he didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. He had done enough talking with doctors and police who had the audacity to suspect that Jake had hurt you. The fucking nerve of some people.

“You should go home-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jake didn’t even let Steven finish that sentence. By shooting another glance at the mirror, Jake realized Marc was still not there. Great. Just great.

“Look at yourself!” Steven put his foot down, trying so hard to look after everyone. “You’re covered in blood and dirt. Do you think that she’ll be relieved to wake up to that?”

Jake clenched his jaw and ignored his alter. He hated to admit that Steven had a point. Then again, he didn’t want to leave your side. Not even when he had dry blood on his face and hair and he could smell it on his torn up shirt. His dark locks were disheveled.

The nurses and doctors who walked in to check on you from time to time must’ve thought Jake looked terrifying. One of the nurses had even offered him a chance to shower at the hospital, seemingly out of pity but Jake had refused. She even let him know when the hospital cafe opened if he needed anything from there.

“She’ll be fine, Jake. She has all the help she needs right here. Just go home, take care of yourself and come back after.”

A shower sounded nice, it really did. Also food wouldn’t hurt. It felt like forever ago when you and Jake had eaten the fast food on your date. It had only been less than a day but had someone told Jake weeks had passed, he would’ve almost believed them.

“I can’t,” Jake sighed eventually, his shoulders slumping down as he leaned against your hospital bed. He studied your face and brought his still trembling fingers to your cheek, ever so carefully caressing your soft skin just below the tubing of the nasal cannula. Were you dreaming? If so, Jake hoped you had the sweetest dreams. Perhaps the medication caused you to dream of nothing at all. Maybe it was for the best. He knew you needed the rest.

Steven didn’t want to leave your side either, no. But he also knew that Jake wasn’t able to help you when he was in that state. A shower and some food, maybe even a nap would do wonders. Besides, Steven knew you’d be safe here. The hospital security had definitely noticed that something odd was going on here. They had been patrolling the corridor ever since you had been wheeled into the room after surgery. If anyone tried to come visit you that wasn’t Jake or family, they would be stopped.

Steven fronted now, sensing that Jake just didn’t have it in him to fight. Part of Jake wanted to let someone else front, to give up control for a while. So when Steven was in control, he wasn’t really surprised that Jake didn’t even argue with him. It was better this way.

“Oh, love,” Steven felt a pang in his chest as he felt everything so much more vividly. The smell of the hand sanitizer that was a distinct smell all over the hospital. He could feel the exhaustion in his body, feel how the thin hospital blanket felt like against his skin. Despite Khonshu’s healing, it felt like Steven had gone through hell. If he felt this way, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what you were going through. Steven was afraid to touch you but he fought that fear as he placed his hand above yours. It didn’t take long for him to feel the tears in the corners of his eyes.

How could anyone in their right mind ever wish to hurt you? Steven couldn’t understand that. He just couldn’t.

“I’ll be right back, yeah?” Steven tried to smile. He pressed a feather-light kiss on the roof of your hand, relieved when he realized your skin was warm. That alone was a good sign.

“I’ll bring you something from the flat. I promise it won’t take long,” Steven gave you his word as he stood up, taking in the sight of you resting in a hospital bed. That one would haunt his nightmares and memories for a long time.

But he had to go. Steven knew you would stay here for a while so he already planned on bringing you things that would make you feel closer to home. Should he bring a book so he could read to you? Perhaps your own clothes would make you feel more comfortable than the ones provided by the hospital. Surely no one would mind if he brought your favourite movies. It’s not like the hospital TV had Netflix on it. He’d figure something out.

Steven had been right. Jake was too stubborn to tell him though. He felt much better in clean clothes and without blood all over him. Some of it had been your blood, which only made it worse. He had even packed a bag full of clothes and other things he figured you would need on your stay.

Just as promised, you were alright when they came back. Steven hadn’t taken a nap at the flat because he too wanted to waste no time. There was a need to take care of you and that need told him to make sure you wouldn’t wake up alone. Steven had just made it back to the plastic chair. The moment he sat down and knew you were okay, he fell asleep right by your side, his hand never letting go of yours.

Jake was fronting when you woke up. His eyes snapped open as he watched you take in your surroundings. The relief on your face when you saw him was visible. Seeing him made you feel safe.

It was obvious you were in a hospital although you didn’t remember getting there. Not that it mattered. You felt an odd sense of joy when you realized Jake was holding your hand. Perhaps you just felt odd in general. You swore your vision was hazy, almost dream like. Focusing on something was near impossible. There was something on your face that felt uncomfortable and you tried to pull it off. Jake grabbed your other wrist ever so carefully to stop you.

“I can’t let you do that, amor. It helps you breathe,” He explained and then let go of you, knowing you wouldn’t try that again.

“...you…mkay?” You mumbled tiredly, frustrated as your body didn’t co-operate with your mind. Moving your lips when they felt numb was strange. Just finding your voice proved to be hard. Must’ve been the morphine. All you wanted was to know Jake was alright.

Jake knew what you were trying to ask and it made his heart tighten in his chest. After everything you had been through you worried about him. Jake felt undeserving of your pure love and concern. If it wasn’t for him and the entire ordeal with Khonshu, you wouldn’t be hospitalized in the first place!

“I’m okay,” He let you know.

That made you smile droopily, your lips curving slightly more to the left side than the right. At least the drugs were working.

“I’m gonna go get a doc, alright?”

You squeezed Jake’s hand weakly before he could get up. Just for a moment longer, you wanted to be like this. You knew that when the doctor would walk in, reality would crash over you. Honestly, it was terrifying. You didn’t want to hear the awful news they most certainly had nor were you interested in knowing how long you had to be there. For just a brief moment longer, you wanted to be with Jake and tell yourself everything was perfectly fine. Granted, the dull ache in your body told another story.

“Not yet,” You muttered, tilting your head to the side and forcing your body to relax against the stacked pillows. Fear and anxiety were beginning to torment you, whispering terrible things to the part of your brain that wondered what would happen next. That brought tears to your eyes without you even realizing it.

“Okay,” Jake wasn’t going to argue with you. He suspected there was a reason for this request. “I’m not going anywhere yet.”

After he confirmed that, you nodded as if to let the words sink in. In a moment of clarity, you looked down your body that was covered in blankets. You tried to move your legs cautiously, remembering the pain from before. When you felt how restricted your movements were, Jake closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He knew something you didn’t. His reaction caused your anxiety to spike.

If something was wrong with you, you wanted to hear it from him instead of a doctor who didn’t know you or care about you. Not personally, at least.

“Baby,” You swallowed the lump in your throat, “how bad is it?”

Of course, you asked that. Jake would’ve been a fool if he believed you wouldn’t. This was your life and your body you were talking about.

“They said you’ll make a full recovery,” Jake started with that, failing to meet your eye as he continued, “but it will take some time.”

“And the…the people who did this?” That question didn’t need any clarification.

“They won’t bother you ever again,” Jake hadn’t taken all of them out but he would stop at nothing to make sure vengeance was delivered upon each and every one of them.

“I promise.”

“Okay,” You believed him. That didn’t make it hurt any less. Without even seeing most of your body and with strong medications concealing the true amount of pain you were in, you knew it was going to be a long time before this could be put in the past.

That made you feel defeated in so many ways.

Would they stick by your side through it all? Or would this scare all of them away from you forever?

Jake saw the tears rolling down your face, glistening in the corners of your eyes as you held your breath in order to keep your sobs and whimpers to yourself. He had never seen such a miserable expression on your face and neither did he want to. If someone had a time machine, he would steal it if that would undo what had already happened. Jake would do anything to make sure you’d never have to feel this way.

“Oh, mi amor,” he didn’t hesitate to move from the chair to the edge of the hospital bed, being incredibly cautious as to avoid hurting you as he wrapped you in his arms. When Jake pulled you close to his chest and you felt his tender embrace, it was impossible to keep the cries at bay any longer.

Jake swayed from side to side ever so softly as you clung onto his shirt and let it all out in violent sobs. At the worst of it, you couldn’t even bring yourself to speak. Jake was quiet too, knowing that no words could fix this. He offered to hold you in his loving arms as you let the pain out.

Eventually, your cries calmed down but neither of you let go of each other. Jake felt your chest rising as you took in shaky breaths, working so hard just to steady them. You wondered if he knew that his cologne was calming you down. It was constant, something that reminded you of good things. It reminded you of home. You wanted nothing more than to go home but you knew you couldn’t. Not like this.

As Jake held you, his eyes peered out through the blinds. The window gave him a view of the hospital parking lot. Cars were driving in and out, struggling to find a parking spot and others struggling to navigate their way through the concrete mess. Somewhere out there, near or far in the distance, were the rest of the people who stood behind this. Living their lives and going on about their days with far less damage. Perhaps they were trying to come up with a new master plan to catch Khonshu’s avatar. To destroy him by hurting the one thing they truly loved.

Jake was heartbroken but if anyone saw his expression, they would see a man full of rage. He shot death glares out the window, only thinking about what he’d do once he found them. It wouldn’t be pretty. He wouldn’t have to go after them alone, no. Steven and Marc would be there too.

A/N: Should I write a part 2? If you enjoyed it pls let me know. The next part would be more focused on hurt/comfort and recovery. Maybe even smut, who knows 👀

#Jake Lockley fanfiction #Jake Lockley x you #Jake Lockley x Reader #Jake Lockley x Y/N #Jake Lockley/You #Jake Lockley/reader #Jake Lockley x fem!Reader #Jake Lockley angst #angst #whump #Moon Knight fanfiction #Moon Knight x fem!Reader #MK system x reader

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tricoloured-cat · 10 months

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what better way to procrastinate than to write random stuff

reviewing the works that the abilities were based on

Part 1: Armed Detective Agency

I just realized that I've finally read all the works attributed to the abilities of the author's BSD counterparts, at least for the ADA. I plan to do this for all organizations in the BSD universe so I can direct my reading and actually finish something HAHA

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on literature, let alone Japanese literature, and my short reviews are solely my opinion as a casual reader. These are all for fun so please don't take these so seriously!

Nakajima Atsushi Ability: Beast Beneath the Moonlight Original Work: Moon Over the Mountain

This short story has the vibes of a folktale but with existential dread sprinkled throughout. The prose is calm but the agony still reverberates. I liked this more than I though I would, perhaps because of how clean it felt. Honestly this would be one of the OG works I'd recommend to a BSD fan who wants to try classic Japanese literature.

Dazai Osamu Ability/Original Work: No Longer Human

This is probably the one novel/work most BSD fans would pick up first - and for a good reason. The themes are pretty universal albeit heavy, the tone of the narrator throughout the entire novel is gripping, the translation by Donald Keene is very readable, and it's just in the most general sense a summary of Dazai-sensei's own life. The last point must be taken with a grain of salt, however, as he's a master liar - something you'll find out if you dig more into his life and other works. If you'd like to see depression in book form, this is for you.

Kunikida Doppo Ability: Doppo Poet Original Work: Doppo Collection (probably)

Here's a case of "I can't really find the original work so I'll be reviewing something else instead"

Reviewing: Those Unforgettable People

I chose to talk about this one since it's the one found in the Penguin Anthology. It's an interesting mix of forms: technically, it's a short story. However, the elements of poetry and even of the essay are present - mostly the latter, tbh. Of course the whole "ideal" thing is such a Kunikida-sensei thing that it appears it almost every story he wrote, yet somehow in this one you'll have to squint a little bit more to see it. The point of this story-essay-poem thing is at the very end (the first half is quite dragging imo) is what gives it a little oomph, but honestly I much prefer his other works (specifically Old Gen and Death).

Tanizaki Jun'ichirou Ability/Original Work: Sasameyuki

You like a slow burn? You like pain? Familial drama? Maybe you'll like this. Maybe you won't. It's a mammoth of a book that feels like a series of extremely detailed telenovela episodes - not that it's necessarily a bad thing. I enjoyed it despite the length because the way it ends, although hardly strong at all, ties the themes and messages of the novel cleanly into a single scene.

Miyazawa Kenji Ability/Original Work: Be Not Defeated by the Rain

It's a poem every Japanese elementary student would know. The message and style is so simple yet beautiful (I read Sulz's translation). It's joyful and so sunny... until I read the background on it. I cried over his work. Again. (Night on the Galactic Railroad PLS) Man I just love this author so much. But I'm not really a poem person to begin with, so take this review with a grain of salt HAHA

Yosano Akiko Ability/Original Work: Thou Shalt Not Die

The only complete translation I could find is written in painfully archaic English, so I won't comment on the style HAHA. But I do think the original was just as pointed in its words and message; its anti-war sentiments and middle finger to the Japanese emperor and military (at the time) so characteristically Yosano-sensei. It's sad she'd support WW2 later on - come on sensei WHY

Personally, however, I prefer her shorter poems, specifically the ones from River of Stars. But I'm not really a poem person to begin with, so take this review with a grain of salt HAHA

Izumi Kyouka Ability: Demon Snow Original Work: Demon Pond

It's been a while since I've read a play, and perhaps that's why I had a hard time getting through the first half - either that or it was quite lackluster as most of the actual story happens in the second half. Its influences from folktales and traditional Japanese theater (i.e. kabuki and noh) are very apparent - I wish I could have seen it instead of read it because of that. I think this is the first work of Kyouka's that I actually liked (I've read some of his short stories and one of his other plays) so I'll definitely recommend this one if you want to start with this author. There's also a movie adaptation of it that I haven't watched yet (but I do plan to). I think it could be much better than just reading it as is because of the visuals and mood setting, but a review on that soon. Maybe.

Fukuzawa Yukichi Ability: All Men Are Created Equal Original Work: An Encouragement of Learning (Sec. 1-2)

I couldn't be bothered to read the whole thing, but the essence of the ability only comes from the first two sections (which I'll be reviewing).

It's an essay that imo serves as a good introduction to Fukuzawa's philosophy. His views and arguments are built primarily on morality with logic acting mostly as a way to expound on his points. It's interesting, nothing really new for a contemporary reader, but at least it gives a nice background on the changing environment during the early years of Meiji-era Japan. Of course there are personal biases here (specifically the one with China - one of the greatest criticisms against Fukuzawa, even though he was supposedly progressive for his time) but imo that reflects some views of many Japanese at the time - not that they're right, of course.

But what about our special non-gifted boi?

I guess let's look at what one of the episodes was based on instead lol

Edogawa Ranpo Episode: The Murder on D. Street (S01E05) Original Work: The Case on D. Hill

I will tell you now: they have almost NO similarities whatsoever. Doesn't mean it's bad tho...

Okay ngl I was pretty disappointed HAHA. It's the same type of disappointment I had with Poe's Murders on the Rue Morgue (which was ironically referenced in the story) but it at least had some sense to it. I blame myself for not seeing it coming tho, given that this story is very typical of Edogawa-sensei. If you do plan to read it, however, be warned that there are implicit (?) themes that may be uncomfortable for some readers (this warning applies to most of Edogawa-sensei's work not made specifically for children HAHA).

#bsd #japanese literature #dazai osamu #nakajima atsushi #kunikida doppo #edogawa ranpo #yosano akiko #miyazawa kenji #fukuzawa yukichi #tanizaki junichirou #izumi kyouka

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alaskasmonsters · 3 years

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Chapped lips | Shigaraki Tomura

after that night, the night he'd first reached out for your hand, you and shigaraki had gotten a lot closer, even if that only meant you were holding hands a lot. or did it?

part 1

pairing: shigaraki tomura x gn!reader

w.c: 2.651

warnings: head empty just tooth-rotting fluff, also shigs being insecure about his skin, he’s still touch-starved :c

a.n: @hufflefluffslytherin asked for a part two and i really really really adore touch-starved shigaraki (and writing him) so i just had to comply!🥰🥰 (also if you’ve never seen fanart of shigaraki with his hair tied back i am so sorry, but you’ve been deprived)

Holding hands had become somehow normal between Tomura and you, although it usually ended up being in the privacy of his room. If Kurogiri noticed how close you’d gotten after he sent you to his room that one time he didn’t mention it. He’d only smile gently at you when you caught his...floating orbs. You weren’t sure if you could call it a smile when the guy didn’t have a mouth, or eyes….or a face. It was more like a vibe that you got from him.

The rest of the league had noticed the two of you had gotten closer, too. They were not stupid, after all. Well, they were all idiots, but they were smart idiots. You’d spent a lot more time at their lair now in consequence of you spending more time with Tomura. And of course every one of them had to give their two cents to the situation.

Toga would beam at you, teeth flashing and eyes sparkling with excitement, whenever the both of you were in the same room. When Tomura wasn’t present the girl would dreamily stare into the air, planning your wedding in detail. It was cute, almost endearing, if it wasn’t so embarrassing. You’d turn red as a beat and Toga would giggle at your flustered state.

Dabi turned to relentless teasing, constantly making jokes, some of which were so beyond inappropriate you’d loved to wash his mouth and your memory out with soap.

Compress was surprisingly soft on you, never once mentioning the new undetermined relationship between you and the boss, although you were certain he sent you winks from beneath that mask of his.

Spinner was being a little shit like always.

Tomura and you had grown closer in the process of your occurring hand holding sessions. Often you just sat next to him on the bed (yes, you’d gotten the privilege of being allowed on there), you would scroll through your various social media while Tomura explored the skin of your arms and your hands with his fingers.

You would have never expected he could be so...soft...quiet...calm...innocent. Just silently sitting next to you, staring at the ceiling or somewhere else (anything but you) while he let his fingers gently glide over your hands until you’d end up with your fingers intertwined.

He didn’t like talking a lot, you realized. Still private, still unrelentless.

It had taken weeks between then and now before you’d even gotten to this point. A point where Tomura felt comfortable enough to request your touch whenever he felt like it. Sometimes he just sent you the blank faced cat emoji and you knew that your presence was requested. You didn’t comment on it, just silently complied, sitting next to him in silence until he initiated the contact.

You knew he was still in disbelief about your nonchalance whenever he did reach out to touch you. He always did it so carefully, barely gracing your skin. As if he wanted to leave you enough time to react and pull back.

It was endearing.

Sometimes he tested you, brushing his fingers over parts of your upper arms, shoulder, leg, stomach, watching you out of calculating eyes, expecting, awaiting you to flinch back. You never did. Like you said, you didn't have it in you to mistrust Shigaraki in that way. All remaining resolve had crumbled the moment he’d first reached out for your hand.

When you knocked on his door that night, you were already buzzing with excitement, clenching the little item in your palms, something you’d brought for Tomura. You didn’t wait for his answer, already opening the door and slipping a moment later since he had sent the cat emoji earlier.

Tomura was sitting on his bed, game controller in his hand, the screen of his tv showing a shooter game was the only light that illuminated the room.

You had quickly realized Tomura enjoyed quiet and dark places.

He didn't look up, just glanced at you from the corner of his eyes, as you approached him and sat down next to him, already smiling. The item you brought was securely hidden in your palms.

The man hummed in greeting, scooting closer until your legs were touching slightly, barely brushing.

That was another thing you had noticed about him. Tomura wasn’t only enamored by holding your hand, but he craved the simplest of touches. It didn’t come as a surprise to you, considering most of his life everyone had been avoidant of him. You had figured he must be incredibly touch-starved, searching your warmth now that you’d willingly given it to him already, taking whatever he’d get.

It was cute.

You watched him play for a little while, supporting your weight on your hands as you leaned back onto your palms. But quickly your attention shifted, your eyes settling on the side of Shigafaki’s face. Eyes wandering from the scars around his eyes, to his dry lips and then to the sensitive skin on his neck...you could imagine it must hurt a lot.

You were a little familiar with impulsive behaviour like that, you’d bitten your fingernails for years, picked at the skin around them, too. It was a bad habit, one fueled by stress. Something you sometimes went back to whenever it would get too much. But you knew that was hardly comparable.

“Why are you staring at me?”

You were pulled from your thoughts by his hoarse voice, soft despite the scratchiness of it. You didn’t reply immediately, watching the ways the shadows danced across his features.

“Does it hurt?”

You didn’t have to point out what exactly you meant, he understood immediately.

“I’m used to it,” his answer was curt and you noticed how he lowered his head to let more of his hair fall into his face.

You hummed, not mentioned how tragic that truly was or how badly you wanted to hug him. He probably didn’t want your sympathy, perhaps even mistake it for pity.

You sat up instead, smiling widely in hope to ease the sullen mood as you raised your hand to finally uncover what you’ve been hiding all along.

“I’ve brought something,” you declared proudly.

Tomura glanced at the little item you held up to his face, eyes narrowing to read the name of the product. When he recognized what it was, he glanced up at your face, eyebrows furrowed in scepticism.

“Don’t tell me you want me to put that on my face.”

You laughed at the look of disgust in his eyes.

“It’s just ointment, don’t be so dramatic.”

He didn’t seem all too convinced by your words, face settled into a scowl.

“It’s really good, if you want to know my expert opinion,” you ignored the amused snort, “It’s moisturizing and helps with itches as well.”

He glanced at the object again, not very enthusiastic about the idea of it, you noticed, his face still purposefully lowered, his red eyes peeking out from beneath his white strands.

You cocked your head to the side.

“I could heal some of it, too, if it bothers you,” you suggested, although you knew you could really only do something against the recently damaged skin, nothing against the several small scars collected at the corner of his eyes or the base of his neck.

“Why, does it bother you?” he murmured, a sudden edge to his voice.

The grip around the game controller had tightened, although his pinkies were still skillfully spread to avoid disintegrating the piece of plastic.

“No,” you replied sternly.

Tomura hesitated for a moment, eyes darting between the tub of ointment and your face a few times before he made a choice. He paused the game and carefully placed the controller on the nightstand.

“Fine,” he mumbled, head angles towards you, “You can put that shit on me.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, itching to ask him to repeat himself, because you weren’t sure if you understood him correctly, if he really just agreed you could put ointment on his face. You. Not him, you.

But then he turned, until he was facing you completely, his legs crossed, knees bumping against the side of your legs and he watched you expectantly. You turned, too, positioning yourself so you were cross-legged as well and directly in front of him, trying to ignore the tingling in your stomach at being so intensely stared at by Tomura. You inched closer, bumping your knees more and the man leaned forward, almost expectantly, awaiting.

You stopped him with a raise of your hand and Tomura halted in his movements, squinting at the small object that you were now holding into his face. His forehead scrunched up at the sight of the hair tie in between your fingers and he gave you a sceptical look.

“Tie your hair back, Tomura.”

He grumbled, but complied to your request, lazily binding his hair together. A few strands fell out and back into his face and you softly pushed them behind his ears, not commenting on the way Tomura stilled at your touch.

Opening the tub of ointment, you put some of the substance on your fingers, glancing up at the man in front of you for approval. He was already looking at you with awaiting eyes.

Okay, if he didn’t make it weird you shouldn’t make it weird either.

You reached out to hold his face in place, cupping his left cheek gently. Tomura closed his eyes at your touch, leaning into your hand a little. You smiled slightly, raising your fingers with the ointment to the area around his eyes and started to carefully apply it to the skin.

The skin was rough under the pads of your fingers as you moved them over his face. He let you work in silence, the only sounds coming from him was the occasional hum whenever the cool ointment touched a specific sensitive area.

You moved on to the other side quickly, switching hands to apply the ointment with your left hand and hold Shigaraki’s face with your right, instead, to accommodate.

“Do you feel a difference?”, you asked softly, massaging the substance into his cheek.

He hummed.

“It’s nice.”

You smiled softly.

“Is it itching?”

He shook his head.

You moved on to his neck, occasionally glancing up at his face. It was relaxed, his eyes still closed, the corners of his lips slack. You smiled at the smoothened out features, your eyes getting stuck on the way down until you were staring at his lips. Dry and chapped but still kissable.

You froze in your movements.

Hold on, what.

Tomura had noticed you had stopped moving and cracked his eyes open, watching the expression on your face with interest.

“Why are you staring at me?”

You shook your head, desperately fighting the blush on your cheeks.

“Just thought you might wanna put lip balm on as well,” you replied calmly.

Good save.

The man scrunched up his face.

“You’ve brought that, too?”

You shrugged, spreading the last bit of ointment across his neck before you pulled back, massaging the leftovers of the substance into your hands.

“Well, i’ve got some with me,” you suggested, pulling it out of the back pocket of your pants.

Shigaraki eyed it suspiciously, raising his hand towards his neck before he halted in his movement, as he remembered your treatment, before he let it sink back into his lap.

“Don’t look so sceptical. It’s just a chapstick,” you laughed at the way he scrunched up his face in disgust.

To demonstrate you opened up the cap and rolled it up. Lifting it up to emphasize the plainness of your action before putting the lip balm on your lips. Smacking them together when you were done, presenting them with a grin.

Tomura looked thoughtful before he suddenly started smirking, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he gave a nod of approval. You frowned in confusion but didn’t get the chance to ask him what he was being so cocky about before he suddenly leaned in and caught your lips gently between his.

Despite the tenderness behind his touch you felt like the air was just punched out of your lungs. You were completely frozen against him, not moving, not knowing how to move. The line connecting your brains and limbs, the one that was supposed to exchange signals had been cut off the second Tomura’s mouth had touched yours. The man’s lips moved against yours just before he pulled back again.

You blinked up at him, mouth agape in shock as a warmth, a burning heat, spread through your skin, your face turning red.

He watched you in amusement before he smacked his lips together, loudly, a wide grin spreading over his features when he saw your eyes widen in shock.

“Like this?” he asked innocently.

You choked on your spit at the boldness of...literally everything.

“You! I...” you stuttered helplessly.

He chuckled slightly, strands of his bangs falling back into his eyes, which made him look even better than before. You huffed in mock offence.

“I can’t believe you, Tomura,” you grumbled, playfully hitting his knee as you tried to calm down your fluttering heartbeat.

The man just cocked his head at you, calculating eyes trained on your features. His stare was so intense you felt your face heat up again, just as you had started to calm down again.

He chuckled slightly, slowly leaning forward again, which led you to stop breathing for a second or two...or longer. He came to a halt right before your lips would have touched again, innocently glancing up at you through his lashes.

“Why? Do you want to kiss me?” His voice was deep and alluring.

You didn’t answer, the words got caught in your throat, the trust in your own voice vanished.

How could he turn from an innocent touch-starved gamer boy into this in a matter of seconds? It didn’t seem very fair to you. Especially when you were the one on the receiving end of this behaviour. Worse of all, Tomura seemed to enjoy your sudden speechlessness greatly, eyes drilling into yours as he inched even closer, the look in his eyes dared you to make a move.

He was close enough so you could feel his hot breath on your lips, so close the fruity smell of the ointment (you’d chosen a peach scent) assaulted your nose. All you could think was “Fuck it.” and throw caution out of the window.

You closed the remaining distance, planting your mouth on his and gained a satisfied hum in response. You smiled at the reaction, grabbing his face and pulling him more into you.

Tomura gave into your touch with ease, leaning in even more, searching your touch. He held your wrist, his pinky spread.

His lips were chapped and felt rough against yours, but you didn’t mind, not even a little bit. The kiss was heated, both of you getting more passionate as you deepened the kiss, the feeling indescribable. Your whole skin was tingling, your brain surely turned into mush.

Tomura wasn’t allowed to be this good at kissing, you thought. Did he kiss someone before or was this his first kiss? It couldn’t be...or?

The two of you parted when you ran out of air, both of you breathing heavily into the small space you’ve left between you. Tomura squeezed your wrist and chuckled breathlessly, shaking his head in disbelief as he stared you down. His eyes were sparkling with an emotion you couldn’t quite pin down but knew enough about for you to feel a little dizzy being looked at with.

“You really are crazy, you know that,” he whispered, a tone close to astonishment in his voice.

You just smiled, thumb brushing over the warm skin of his cheek.

Crazy for you, Tomura.

Taglist: @crystal-lilac @hufflefluffslytherin @duf3h6237 @chucky-26o1

#bnha #mha #bnha oneshots #mha oneshot #bnha x reader #mha x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki oneshot #shigaraki tomura oneshot #shigaraki #shigaraki fluff #bnha fluff #mha fluff #shigaraki tomura fluff

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that-bi-bitch-writes · 3 years

Text

A Cursed Reality- JJk x Male Reader (Ch.5)

This chapter is a little longer than usual and very dialogue heavy. (also plenty of swearing). Sorry if the scene is disappointing but I'm not super good at fight scenes and I'm hoping to develop them as I go on. Also if I made [Name] OP then everything would be over too quickly.

Let me know what you think about the chapter in the comments (or the tags!!) enjoy

Last || Next

Chapter Five:

“Kugisaki-chan. Be honest with me. On a scale of Gojo to Yuji how stupid do you think I am?”

“Eh? Do you really want me to answer that?”

“... Yes”

“If I had to pick an idiot I’d say Gojo-sensei. He at least has the brain power to understand jujutsu. I mean he’s a childish and immature old man who ignores what’s staring him right in his face but he wouldn’t ask me what animal the pink panther was.”

[Name] uttered out a confused thank you before thinking ‘I have got to stop starting conversations like this’

He almost never gets the answer he wants. It’s like as soon as he asks the question he becomes humanized and not a mysterious special grade sorcerer a few seconds from ending someone’s life for finishing off the fruit snacks. (Based on a true story. Gojo can confirm.)

“You’re welcome. Why’d you ask anyway?”

“Actually I think I’ll jinx it if I talk about it. Plus I don’t want you to think poorly of your ‘superiors’ but let’s just say there are people plotting behind my back and I’m wondering if I have idiot written across the top of my head”

“Okay... “

“On a lighter note, do you think any of the other first years know how close we are?”

“I was asked whether or not the Pink Panther was a lion and spoken to in 6 word sentences just yesterday. You’re the only person I can hang out with. The other two are people I spend time with”

“What about Maki?”

“That’s totally different. You should know you have a totally different relationship with Gojo and Inumaki.”

“Explain”

“You and Gojo fight and tease each other like siblings or something and you and Inumaki spend time alone. Together. And sometimes you like go out and eat food and stuff”

“You make it sound like we’re dating”

“You’re not?”

“No”

“Hmm”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Name] absolutely hates talking on the phone and everyone knows this. Facetime has been like a happy medium whenever people need to get in touch with him but it’s still extremely annoying to have to have a face to face conversation over the phone.

“Why are you calling me Gojo?”

“My precious little [Name] I was just checking up on you to see how your day off is going?”

“It was going fine until you called and interrupted my peace”

“Don’t be like that [Name] I know you miss me”

“As if- No puppy- WAIT!”

Gojo furrowed his eyebrows “[Name]-chan?”

“Hmm?”

“Since when do you have a pet?”

“I made Fushiguro give me one of his divine dogs”

“Aww. That’s so sweet of Megumi. But you can’t keep calling him puppy. Give him a real name”

“He does have a real name I call him yu-yu”

“So who were you calling Puppy?”

“...Yuji”

“.....”

“Don’t make it weird”

“It’s already weird”

“Look me in the camera and tell me he doesn’t remind you of like a golden retriever or somethin”

“You made several points but still”

“It’s supposed to be derogatory”

“It’s a pet name”

“He’s hyper, adorable and excitable. I’m pointing out the obvious. Me calling him puppy has the same energy as calling someone four eyes”

“It does not”

“....I have to go Yuji just found out about Megan Thee Stallion”

----------------------------------------------

“Are you a Fall out boy emo or like Lorde sad boy?”

“That’s a loaded question”

“It most definitely is” [Name] replied holding back laughter “But I can like, vibe to either one so just play whatever music you like and I’ll enhance the atmosphere.”

“...Okay”

That day was definitely the most relaxed Fushiguro had been in weeks, and [Name] learned some very interesting things about Fushiguro’s…. tastes. They definitely had some things in common.

-------------------------------------------------

“You’re sending me on a mission”

“Yes”

“Alone?”

“[L.Name] you’re a special grade sorcerer. You can handle a first-grade curse on your own”

“I most definitely can, but so can others. Both Gojo and Okkotsu are away on missions. Are you telling me in your expert wisdom, you’re making the choice to dispatch all of the Special Grade sorcerer’s for first-grade curses? What if something happens on home turf.”

“I assure you if there’s an attack on the school Principal Yaga can handle the threat.”

“I’m not talking about the school.”

There was a brief silence in which [Name] just stared “You have your orders”

“I do”

And [Name] absolutely did have his orders. Ones that aligned with his personal feelings. You see, a little while ago Gojo ordered [Name] to protect Yuji. And if anything were to happen to the precious angel, it would be the one day that both he and Gojo were away. Yaga cares more for the rules than Gojo or [Name]. That was one thing [Name] didn’t like about both Yaga and Nanami. They cared about the kids, but only to an extent. In their eyes the kids would die out or grow older but rules wouldn’t change, and Yuji’s life mattered less to them than the stagnant outdated rules.

The larger problem was whether or not [Name] was willing to face the consequences for not following orders from the “respected” higher ups. Then there was the whole issue of actual people being in danger and that wouldn’t go over well, not with the old assholes nor with [Name]’s conscience.

‘I fucking hate Satoru.’ [Name] thought as he set out to do actual work. Ever since he got sent on that mission he found himself caring for more and more people. If he was going to exorcise the curse and return to make sure Yuji and the others first years were all safe, he would have to race against the clock. There was no doubt in his mind that something was going to happen today and he knew Sukuna wouldn’t let Yuji die without a fight.

---------------------------------------------------------------

“What the actual fuck is going on anymore?? THREE FIRST YEARS WERE SENT TO DEFEAT A WHAT?” [Name] yelled into the phone

“A cursed womb”

“Say it as it really is Ijichi! They were sent in to fight a fucking special grade curse. They’re barely equipped to fight a second grade curse, and it isn’t as if having you there is going to help them much”

Ijichi flinched at that. [Name] only went for low blows when he was pissed, and it was obvious pretty soon someone would have to face his wrath. And because he knew what was best for his safety and peace of mind, Ijichi answered [Name]’s question before he asked

“I warned them not to engage a special grade so they should be fine until you get here. I lowered the curtain myself so you’ll be able to get in. They’re at Eishu Juvenile Detention Center”

“I’ll be there in 10”

[Name] would probably make it in less time than that but he always made sure to be careful with making promises. There was always a chance he would run into some issues on the way there. Grabbing his things, he set out for the detention center hoping Nobara and Megumi were okay. Yuji was stronger than those two, though Megumi could be a suicidal idiot at times. If things got anymore serious they’d let Sukuna out, but that would be a whole other problem.

“Ijichi, i’m here”

“...[Name]”

“What?”

“Kugisaki is hurt. I'm driving back to the school.”

“If you’re driving back, why is the curtain still up?”

“Fushiguro went back in to deal with Sukuna who’s more than likely already taken care of the curse I recommend-”

[Name] hung up. “Fucking rule followers and their precious higher ups. And look what a mess I have to take care of” he said as he looked up at the curtain. He sighed and then walked through

“I don’t feel a curse- is that megumi” [Name] thought aloud

“He ain’t coming back” Sukuna teased “Don’t worry I’m in a good mood. Let’s talk”

“I’m not feeling particularly chatty” [Name] called out. Fushiguro and Sukuna turned to the second year in shock

“Fushiguro you should go”

“No. I’m not leaving you alone. And besides it’s my responsibility-”

“Do you think I’m here to kill Yuji?”

“...”

“I’m here to rescue your sorry asses. I was sent on a mission earlier and came back in a hurry to make sure you were okay. I’m a little sad I don’t get to meet the curse that hurt poor Kugisaki-chan but he’ll make do” [Name]’s voice became darker the longer he went on

“My fighting skill is nowhere near the level of Maki’s, but my cursed technique on the other hand… Don’t worry, Yuji’ll make it out alive”

Fushiguro hesitated. He trusted [Name], it was Sukuna who was the problem. The curse was cunning and took advantage of Fushiguro’s hesitation to enact his plan

“It seems he’s having a hard time changing back” Sukuna started “This must be a side effect of using me without restrictions. It’s most likely only a matter of time though… So i’ve been thinking about my next move.”

Before [Name] or Fushiguro could realize, Sukuna had ripped Yuji’s heart out, smiling as blood dripped out of his mouth and the gaping hole in his chest. The two of them froze. If he were at his best [Name] would’ve been able to stop Sukuna from continuing to monologue or even from swallowing another of his fingers. But he had defeated a first grade curse, dealt with the higher ups and rushed to the first years’ rescue within 3 hours.

Fushiguro seemed to follow the conversation as [Name] just stood there, his ears ringing as if he were standing too close to a bomb that went off.

“Itadori will return” Megumi said confidently “Even if it means his death. He’s that kind of guy”

And Megumi was right, [Name] knew of it. So he made a sacrifice. Fushiguro would have to deal with Sukuna while [Name] figured out what to do next. With two fingers Sukuna might’ve been able to resist [Name]’s compulsion. ‘No’ he thought ‘it would take a few more fingers before he was that strong.’

“Stop”

The both of them froze in place. There was a trail of blood running down Yuji’s chest but [Name] could tell Sukuna had done more damage to Megumi than Megumi had done to Yuji’s body

“Stay out of my way Megumi” [Name] said before looking in Sukuna’s eyes “Yuji, if you can hear me. I’m sorry”

“This brat’s not worth the effort” Sukuna smirked. He may not have been able to move but he was going to try and tempt the second year into losing his composure.

“Choke”

Sukuna began to gargle on the blood that was supposed to be pumping through Yuji’s body. Choking, he fell on the ground. Megumi’s eyes widened and he moved to say something but [Name] shot him a desperate, angry look picking up Yuji’s discarded heart shoving it into the empty cavity.

“Heal Him”

“It’s too late [Name]”

“Yuji?? No! NO! YUJI! SWITCH BACK I CAN MAKE HIM HEAL YOU”

“Megumi. [Name]. And Kugisaki and Gojo-sensei. Well I guess I don’t have to worry about him. Live a long life okay?” Yuji smiled as tears dripped onto his face

“I Heard A Rumor” [Name] whispered “That nothing happened and you were gonna be okay”

“What a nice rumor senpai” “Yuji whispered back before the light in his eyes faded

Fushiguro laid a hand on [Name]’s shoulder looking up to the sky as he tried to keep from crying. [Name] let out a pained scream shocking Fushiguro. Megumi wrapped his arms around [Name] trying to pull him up and meeting resistance Fushiguro just walked toward the exit before stopping. Without looking back he said “I’ll send Gojo to collect you both” and then walked off.

Gojo did come back to pick up the body and the shell shocked [Name] but when he showed up there was nothing there. As if the land behind the two had just up and walked away. Gojo wasn’t informed of [Name]’s rumor but assumed the boy did it out of rage. He was the only one able to wipe a location off the map so cleanly. What he didn’t realize that if the land had returned to its natural state as if nothing had ever happened, Yuji was bound to be okay

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x m!reader #x male reader #x reader #male reader #male reader insert #x m!reader #xmr

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talatomaz · 3 years

Text

fear | paige dineen x fem!teen!reader

a/n: i’ve been rewatching Scorpion lately and couldn’t get this idea out of my head. this is based around 3x17. it’s a criminally underrated show and so original. also this is the first fic i’ve written in months so, sorry if it’s shit /lh

warnings: mentions of death/coma

word count: 3.1k

masterlist | navigation | request rules

reader is paige’s 18 year old daughter and sometimes helps out team scorpion but when she inadvertently inhales poisonous fumes, she soon finds herself on the brink of death, hallucinating her deepest darkest fear

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Here.”

You said, placing a George Washington style hat on your younger brother’s head.

“Did you know that these are called tricorns and were referred to as-“

“Cocked hats? Yes, and they were worn not only by the aristocracy, but also as common civilian dress, and as part of military uniforms.”

You explained, interrupting Ralph as he stopped adjusting the hat and looked up at you with surprise.

“I was a history major, remember? You’re not the only one who knows things.” You joked, smiling when he did.

“So why am I wearing this tricorn?” Your genius brother asked.

“Well, you’ve got a history project due about Washington and what better way to understand his actions than by getting into his persona and pretending to be him?”

“You’ve been spending too much time around Toby.” Ralph smirked.

“Hey!”

You and your brother turned to face Happy and Toby who had just entered the garage.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a world-class behaviourist.”

“Shut it, doc.” Happy said, but there was no malice in her words.

“Where’s everyone?”

“Mum and Walter went out somewhere and Cabe’s with Allie at Sly’s desk because Sly’s asleep and drooling over himself.”

“Ew.” You said, replying to your brother.

As Happy and Toby left to find Cabe, you and Ralph continued discussing George Washington. You were both interrupted when you heard your mother’s voice.

“Morning!”

Yours and Ralph’s faces lit up when you saw she was holding a bag from Fro-Yo-Ma. Ever since Walter had got himself banned after a petty argument with the manager about a loyalty card which resulted in him having a black eye, you had all been unable to attend the establishment.

You smiled when an idea formed in your head and faced your brother once more,

“Hey, how about we sneak up to Mum whilst she’s distracted and grab our fro-yos?”

Ralph nodded in agreement and you both cautiously approached your mum who was busy telling the team that the frozen treats were for after lunch. As you both flanked your mother, you glanced over at Ralph and gave him a slight nod. Then you grabbed a tub each and began to sneak away as quietly as you came but your Mum looked at you both in confusion.

“Quick. Run, Ralph.”

Ignoring your mother’s laugh, you took a hold of Ralph’s free hand and ran back to the corner of garage you were studying in.

“I got to stop leaving them with you people.” Paige said.

Halfway through eating the frozen yogurt, you heard Cabe announce that Scorpion had a case.

Like your Mum, you weren’t a genius but you did help Scorpion anytime they were down a member, especially now since Toby had said he’d stay back to help Ralph with his project.

You were a little hurt that Ralph welcomed his help more-so than yours, despite you being the History expert, but nonetheless, you brushed it off and gathered your things to join the team’s trip to Greenland.

✧── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Arriving at the Granse World Seed Vault, you tugged at the lapels of your winter coat, trying to keep some of the warmth in you which was a large feat considering you were stuck in a blizzard in the middle of nowhere.

The winds, that could only be described as gusting, blew through your hair, further obstructing your view as you entered the building.

Moving the hair from your face, you shivered and looked up to see that the vault was desolate.

“Well, now we know why nobody ever comes out here.” Sly stated.

You all watched as Walter failed to use the key card resulting in Happy jump starting the generator using the battery from the snowcat you travelled in.

Then you all split up to go and complete your tasks.

Your Mum and Walter remained at the entrance whilst Happy started to repair the generator, Cabe went to the breakroom, Sly went to the server room and you went to find the operations centre to locate the power conduit which you needed to switch off and on again.

The dark hallway you were in suddenly brightened meaning Happy had managed to fix one of the power sources. You let out a breath of relief; you didn’t exactly welcome the idea of wandering around a pitch black vault alone where no one had been for almost a year.

You then began to cough as the vents let out some sort of yellow dust. The smell was putrid, almost making you heave.

“God, that smell is awful. So much for this being an antiseptic facility.” You groaned.

“Well, this facility self-purifies its air, but the system's been down for days, so the seeds have decayed a bit, the vents are just stirring up seed dust.” Walter said through your comms.

“Speaking of stirring up, I can only imagine what kind of trouble is being stirred up in the garage. I worry about his maturity level.”

“Mum, don’t worry. Ralph’s the most mature person I know.”

“Oh honey, I know. I was talking about Toby.”

You snickered to yourself and then stopped when you realised you’d found the Ops Centre.

“Guys, I figured out what caused the surge.”

You listened as Sly’s voice crackled through your comms.

After he had finished explaining, you spoke, “So the whole place went dark because the programmers forgot to synchronize their watches?”

“Right! But if I can get the operating system's clock lined up with Finland's, then I'll have this fixed.”

Sylvester paused for a brief moment and when he spoke again, his voice came out in a panicked whisper.

“Is anyone else getting a weird vibe? Like...like we're not alone?”

“Hey, Sly. It’s okay. Just breathe.” You said calmly before telling him to follow your breathing pattern to regulate his own.

“Good job, y/n. Sly, everything’s going to be fine. Fix the server’s clock and we’ll be out of here soon.”

You smiled at your mother’s praise and went to find the panel switch.

You enjoyed working with your Mum, loving the fact that you got to spend more time with her since starting University. But sometimes, you found yourself feeling...lonely because most of your Mum’s attention was focused on Ralph and the rest of the team.

You understood Ralph, in the broadest of terms, that was. You loved him as much as your mum and you knew her looking after Scorpion was her job but it still hurt you because you didn’t have anything in common with the rest of them.

THUD

You jumped when the door behind you slammed shut.

“Mum? I’m locked in.” You shouted out worryingly.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Our blast doors are locked too.” Your Mum said, her voice calming you with every word.

“The vault prioritizes keeping seeds safe so it must go into lockdown when it's most vulnerable, i.e. a reboot. So the doors will open in 40 minutes when the reboot is done. Everything is fine.”

Walter explained before you winced at the shriek that came through on your comms.

“Sly, what the hell?” You yelled, rubbing your ear, as if trying to sooth the pain.

“They’re in here. They’re in here.” The genius repeated as your brows furrowed in confusion.

“Sly, what’s going on?”

“Sylvester, do you copy?”

“Sly!”

You all started to shout in concern, scared for Sly’s safety, before stilling when the latter’s screams fell quiet.

“I was right. I’m not alone. It’s chickens!”

How the hell had chickens got into the seed vault? You thought to yourself.

“Hey guys. I didn’t want Sly to hear us.” Toby said.

You figured your Mum must have called him and patched him through to your comms.

You all listened as Toby explained how Sly was suffering from a psychotic break but when he commented on some yellow dust, he realised that you had all breathed in seed fungus that affected the fear centre in your brain.

You started to get even more concerned when it became apparent that Happy and Cabe were hallucinating but you were shamefully relieved that the ergot spores hadn’t affected you. You weren’t sure you wanted to experience your darkest fear, especially when you were surrounded by your Mum and the team.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Mum. I’m not seeing or hearing anything.” You reassured her, hearing her sigh of relief.

“Okay, thank god. We’ll get you out soon enough, okay, sweetie?”

You blinked, turning around when you heard your mother’s voice behind you.

“Y/N?” Paige said through your comms.

But you just blinked again, because you could see your Mum in front of you and you couldn’t distinguish the look on her face.

“Mum, what’s wrong?” You said.

“What? Nothing’s wrong. Toby. Walt. What’s happening?” Paige said frantically.

“Y/N must have inhaled the ergot too and she’s now trapped in her false reality.” Toby explained.

“We got to get her out of there, Walter.”

Paige said, near tears, before falling silent as she watched you on the security camera. She saw you sit on a chair and converse with an imaginary Paige.

“Mum, what did I do? I’m sorry.” You said, tears forming in your eyes at your mother’s words.

“I told you, I don’t love you. Scorpion is my family. They’re geniuses and you’re not.”

“Mum, please.” Your voice broke, as you started to plead with her.

“I-I can’t watch this. I need to get her out of there. Y/N, listen to me. I am here!”

Paige ran up to the blast doors and started to bang on the reinforced steel. Her attempts, however, were futile, because she knew that the doors wouldn’t open until you, Cabe, Happy and Sly had completed your tasks.

“Paige, you have to keep it together.” Toby said.

“No, my daughter is living her worst fear and I can’t do anything to stop it.”

“I know. I want to help Happy too. But we can’t until we figure out what psychological baggage the fungus is unpacking.”

“And we might need to hurry because Sly is getting unsure of foot.”

Walter said as Paige returned to his side to see Sly having trouble keeping his balance.

“God, we need to get them out of there. The exposure seems extensive which means their blood vessels are being constricted, especially in the brain meaning-“

“Less blood flow. And less blood flow means less oxygen. And less oxygen means...coma.” Walter finished solemnly.

“We have to talk them lucid so they can finish their tasks. I’ll take Happy. Walt, you take Cabe. Ralph, you have your work cut out for you with Sly. And Paige-“

“I’ll help y/n. Y/N? Y/N, honey, if you can hear me, I need you to flip the switch on the panel next to you. Y/N?”

“Y/N!”

“I’m sorry, Mum. Please don’t yell. What did I do wrong?”

“I told you, you’re just not special so why should I waste my time with you?”

“Please, Mum. I’m sorry I’m not special enough. I’m sorry I’m not smart like everyone else. Please don’t send me away.”

Paige’s heart broke as she watched you cry on her screen.

“Y/N, I love you so much. You are special. I love you.” Paige cried, tears dropping down her face.

“Toby, it’s not working. I can’t get through to y/n!”

“Ralph and I may have come up with another idea. You need to go back to the point when these fears started and attack that seminal moment.”

“Okay, so she’s talking about not being smart enough. I can only guess that this started when I joined the team. Y/N? Baby, can you hear me?”

Paige’s voice softened as she spoke to you once more.

“Yes, Mum?” You replied, sniffling as your tears continued to fall down your face.

“Oh, honey. Just because you’re not a genius like the rest of these guys, doesn’t mean you’re not special.”

“But I’m not.”

“Y/N, yes, you are. You’ve been special since the moment you were born. Since the moment I first held you in my arms. You’re my baby, y/n. You are special in your own way.”

Your Mum grabbed your hand and held them to her heart.

“You feel that?”

“Y-Your heartbeat?” You asked, feeling the light repetitive beating under your palm.

“Yes. My heartbeat. More importantly, my heart. You are my heart, y/n. You have been for 18 years. I grew up with you. You made me into the person I am today. The person I am now. I love you so much.”

“Yes, you’re not as smart as Ralph or Walter or the rest of the team but neither am I. Y/N, you are bright, intelligent. You are twice the person I am. You care so much about everyone. Your heart is beautiful.”

Your mother gently dropped your hand in her lap and lifted her own to cradle your face.

“That’s what makes you special.” She moved to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Now, y/n. I’m already so proud of you but I need you to do one thing for me. I need you to turn the switch in front of you off and on again.”

Paige held her breath as she and Walter watched you slowly stand up on your shaky legs and walk over to the panel that had the power conduit switch attached to it.

“Done.” Your voice echoed on the security monitor.

“Good girl.”

“I’m kinda sleepy, Mum. I’m just going to take a quick nap.” Your voice quietened as you lay down on the floor.

“Uh, Toby. Y/N flipped the switch but she’s really sleepy and I can’t get her to wake up.”

“Oh god, Happy, Sly and Cabe are out too. They’re in comas. They need medical assistance stat or they will die.”

“Walter.” Paige whispered, unable to speak any louder due to fear of losing you.

“We can synthesize a treatment!”

Toby then explained the different seeds they needed to mix together to make the medicine whilst Ralph hacked the vault’s database to locate them.

Once Paige and Walter had manufactured oxygen tubes out of PVC pipes, they hastily made their way to the vault before stopping when they saw you unconscious on the ground.

Paige ran to your side, still holding her breath, and quickly checked for a pulse, relaxing slightly when she felt it, albeit it was weak, but it was still there. She ran her thumb against your cheek in a gentle caress and then followed Walter to the vault, passing the others, also unconscious, on their way.

Easily finding the required seeds, the duo made the medicine oil but when a chemical fire broke out, Walter stayed to put it out whilst Paige ran to give the oil to the rest of you.

She found Cabe first, then Happy and Sly. Once she had rendered them conscious, she ran off in pursuit of the Operations Centre where you were.

Carefully but quickly, she lifted your head to rest against her leg as she poured the oil beneath your tongue.

“Come on, sweetie. Wake up. Open your eyes. Please, God.” She murmured to herself.

You opened your eyes with some difficulty, wincing at the light above you.

“Mum? What happened?” You groaned, sitting up.

“Thank God, you’re okay. I thought I’d lost you.”

Ignoring your question, your Mum gathered you in her arms and hugged you tight against her.

“I love you so much, y/n.”

Hugging her back, you rested your head against the crook of her neck, “I love you too.”

“Guys, come on, we gotta go.”

You both looked up to see Happy standing at the door. With the help of your Mum, you stood up and she then grabbed your hand and you all ran back to the entrance.

✧── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

You had all safely arrived back home and managed to make it in time for Sly’s debate.

You sat in the chair next to Happy, slowly falling asleep, exhausted from the ordeals of the day.

Soon after you’d left the Vault and were on your way home, the grogginess of the poisonous fungus had fully left your system, allowing you to remember your hallucination. You’d barely said more than two words on the plane ride home, unsure of the right words to say to your Mum who had undoubtedly heard your fear.

“Hey, sweetie. Stay awake for a little while longer. We’re going home. Sly’s going to look after Ralph tonight.”

Your mother said, resting her hand on your shoulder to rouse you. You nodded in response and got up, following her to her car.

Similar to the plane, the car ride was silent. Not necessarily an awkward silence, but it was far from comfortable. You felt the constant glances your Mum gave you as she drove on the quiet roads. You noticed her lips part a few times too, as if she was about to say something but then stopped herself at the last moment.

Arriving home, your Mum unlocked the door and you made a beeline to your bedroom to get changed into your nightie. As you laid in your bed, you heard a soft knock on your door.

Inviting your Mum in, you saw she had changed too. She sat on your bed, the lamp providing some light in the room.

“Honey, can we talk?”

Not waiting for an answer, she got into the bed beside you and rested against the headboard.

“I want to talk about what happened earlier.”

There was no need for her to clarify what she meant.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, y/n, we do. It broke my heart to see you cry today. And it hurt even more to hear that I was the reason why. I’ve never ever wanted to cause you any pain and the fact that I was a part of your deepest fear just-“

When her voice faltered, you looked up to see quiet tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Mum, I’m sorry.”

“Baby, you have nothing to apologise for. I’m sorry that you felt like you weren’t special. But I meant what I said back there. You are special in your own way. Yes, I love you and Ralph in different ways but you mean so much to me. I’m surrounded by geniuses all the time, and frankly, it gets tiring. So I’m glad I have you. You bring me back down to Earth. You’re my heart and soul, y/n.”

Not knowing the right words to say, you simply lay your head against your mother’s chest and hugged her close.

“I love you, Mum.”

“I love you too, baby. I always have and I always will.”

Soon enough, both of your tears stopped and you fell asleep in her arms, her hands gently stroking your hair as she cradled you against her.

You may not have been a genius but you were smart enough to realise that no matter what, your Mum would always love you.

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armoricaroyalty · 2 years

Note

so sorry to bother you but i have one more question lol: how do you dress your sims??? i have *such* a hard time coming up with good, unique outfits for all my sims (male sims especially) and i think i need a lesson from the expert hksjdks

anon you are being TOO NICE to me, this is illegal! I hope you enjoy mostly stream-of-conscious bullet points, because that's what you're getting

I'm also not a fashion expert! Please don't take anything I say too seriously, I'm mostly operating off half-remembered episodes of TLC's What Not to Wear from the early aughts.

GENERAL THOUGHTS

clothes convey a LOT about who a person is -- culture, social class, personal style, etc. I like thinking about the items that my specific sims would wear based on their personalities (I'll break down a few characters' wardrobes later on)

I simultaneously LOVE dressing my sims (because I love making wardrobe choices based on character) and HATE dressing my sims (because I am a fashion coward). I generally try to keep my sims' outfits pretty simple

In general, I dress my sims pretty conservatively. This usually means longer sleeves and higher necklines(except for women's evening wear), no shorts/skirts that fall above the knee, no bold patterns or super bright colors

In terms of palettes, I tend to look for recolors in @serindipitysims Academic Palettes (Scientist and Historian) which work nicely for my purposes. Plenty of colorful options, but in subtler shades that don't read as too modern/on-trend.

Each of my characters has an associated color (I'll get more into that later), which helps give them a distinct visual identity. I tend to use and reuse a lot of the same pieces across my sims, so assigning each sim a particular shade helps keep the outfit repeating from being too noticeable.

In general, I'll give my sims one neutral item (black, brown, navy, khaki, white) and one colorful item. Usually, it's a colorful top and neutral trousers, but it's also fun to switch it up and go with more colorful pants/skirt and a plain top.

Most American men tend to prefer slightly oversized clothes (and a lot of EA clothes reflect that preference for bigger, boxier silhouettes). More fitted clothes tends to read as a bit more polished and fashionable.

This might be a weird idosyncracy of mine, but I pretty much always give my sims socks and/or stockings, depending on the outfit. Again, this is something that just helps create a slightly more polished, finished look.

I tend to stick with simpler jewelry: small studs, plain metal, no colored stones during daytime events (except for engagement rings). My women tend to wear a lot of pearl jewelry, which is another thing that reads pretty old-fashioned/conservative.

OKAY let me get into some specific character stuff so I can kind of walk through my thought process and the way that I use clothes to suggest character. I don't put a ton of thought into every outfit, but I try to give most of my sims a distinct visual identity that helps readers tell them apart and clues them into their personality, role in the story, and current outlook/mental state.

JACQUES

Jacques is a jock (rhyme not intended), so I like to pick items with a bit of a sporty vibe and/or emphasize his athletic physique. Generally, he should always look like he might be on his way to or from a yacht.

Aesthetic touchstone are evil rich kids in 80's sports movies

His color is purple, which isn't generally regarded as a conventionally masculine color. I let that inform some of the rest of his fashion choices -- he's the likeliest dude in my current gen to bend or break gendered fashion norms. When he's dressing down, he'll go for necklaces, deeper necklines, eyeliner, and lip gloss.

He's also generally the only guy I'll put in big, noticeable florals!

He wears a watch

He's more likely to wear brown/earthy neutrals as opposed to black

FREDDY

Freddy has less of a defined/unified style than Jacques. I try to keep a really sharp divide between his on-duty and off-duty outfits: he has more oversized/looser fitting clothes than his brother and wears jeans more often

His color is red, which is meant as a contrast to Rosalind's green.

He's more likely to wear black than brown/earthy neutrals

He always wears his glasses except with his most formal outfits. This is both because I thought it was kind of funny to make a fuckboi look like a nerd and because it's another contrast with Roz (who only wears her glasses while off-duty). Freddy wearing his glasses is meant to signify his desire to be recognized for his authentic self, as opposed to the polished public persona his family pushes and the fuck-up the tabloids paint him as

ROSALIND

Honestly I love dressing this girl, although I've only hit on some of these character details recently so there's inconsistency in older posts b/c I was still figuring out her dress sense djhdjhk

Her color is green! No deeper meaning on this one, it was just one of the few colors not in use when she was born so she got it lmao

She's intensely image-focused, so she tends to be very preppy and polished in public. She only wears her glasses when she's off-duty or otherwise dressed down. Very often, I pick the same items that I picked for her great-grandmother in the first run of this story, which is meant to reflect that character's influence on her, as well as her conservatism and strong sense of duty/tradition

However, Roz also has a bit of an earthy, bohemian streak that tends to express itself via peasant skirts and blouses (she'd never pair both of those items together). This is meant to go in a couple directions: 1. she very much considers herself Of The People even though she's the heir to the throne and doesn't know how to operate a dishwasher 2. she has a more relaxed personality somewhere deep inside of her.

Roz keeps her fingernails very short. You know why ;)

OTHER CHARACTERS

Elise is a bisexual woman and a classic futch, but when she married Andre, she was forced to change up her gender presentation and dress in a more conventionally feminine style. Recently, she's cut her hair off, which is meant to represent her mounting frustration with the royal apparatus. For thirty years, she suppressed her unhappiness and dissatisfaction (while being the target of a lot of press harassment) for the good of her kids, and the scandal with Jacques and Vivi's pregnancy pushed her over the edge. What's the point in sacrificing her self-expression and becoming the royal scapegoat if her "good" kid is going to fuck up and entangle himself in scandal, anyway? I've also been putting her in black and white outfits with high collars (I get a lot of mileage out of accessory turtlenecks). This is meant to make her look very severe and suggest judges' robes or a clerical collar. She has a strong sense of moral clarity and she's passing judgment on the members of her family who are uncritical of Armorica's class system.

Vivi is fun! In my original story, Vivi came from a family of spell casters (her name is a nod to the Lady of the Lake and her sibling is an expy of Morgyn Ember) so I've tried to keep a little bit of that witchy influence in her dress sense. She was a Hot Topic teen when she started dating Jacques (here's an old-ass screenshot from my deleted blog), and the press still makes fun of her for being "unfashionable" even though her style has evolved a lot since she was 15. Her personal style is kind of a mashup of bohemian and goth/emo influences, but like Elise, she's had to make herself over to join the royal family. I've been trying to keep her style sweet and a little retro with some Dark Academia influences.

Oh my god this post got so long I hope this was interesting and at least a little helpful? I will try to do some dude lookbooks with items that I use a lot for my dudes, that will probably be more helpful!

#armorica asks #anonymous #apparently in my heart and soul i was waiting for someone to ask me about The Fashions so I could just word vomit #i didnt bother explaining andres style because his style is Dad

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 3 years

Text

Poison: Part Four

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill, fluff and angst

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

Feedback is gold, and it’s the only currency I take

The hospital isn’t a good place for you to be in because of all the patients coming in and pretending to be sick, but it’s a lot better than the police station only because Spencer isn’t there. He’s here with you, so you’re able to focus on him instead of all the panic. You need to figure out which cases are real so you can determine just where they were poisoned and how to stop it from happening again.

“I really can't talk right now. We just got hammered,” the nurse sighs.

“Listen, most of these food poisonings are probably psychosomatic,” you reveal.

“What makes you think that?”

“A news broadcast just reported a local restaurant was poisoned. Now, it would be a huge coincidence if there was another poisoning right after that aired,” JJ explains for you.

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Help us find out which cases, if any, are real,” Spencer answers.

“People are coming in with all kinds of complaints. But, there's at least one case that isn't psychosomatic. Lynn Dempsey. She's barely breathing.”

“Can you take us to the doctor that's treating that patient?”

“I'll call Hotch,” JJ says and takes out her phone.

The doctor comes almost immediately just as soon as JJ is done updating your boss. The doctor escorts you to the woman who has a hard time breathing, and you can tell this is a real case based on what the doctor says as well as the vibes you’re getting from the woman.

“When the patient got here, she didn't remember anything about her day. Her speech was so slurred, I could barely understand her,” the doctor reveals.

“It sounds like Rohypnol. Did you test her?” Spencer wonders.

“She was positive for Rohypnol, negative for LSD. But we're running more tests because Rohypnol alone doesn't explain her symptoms. She presented with nausea, difficulty swallowing, and labored breathing. She was also having trouble moving her legs.”

“How long had she been sick?” you ask.

“She didn't know. I could barely understand her when she first got here. Now, she can't speak at all.”

“Do you know any biological agents that have similar symptoms: ricin or sarin gas?” Spencer asks.

“You think this is a biological attack?”

“We can't rule anything out.”

“I'll order a few more tests,” he sighs and leaves you three alone with the woman.

The poor woman is coughing and having a hard time breathing into her oxygen mask. She whimpers in pain, tosses and turns, and just looks like she isn’t having that much fun.

“I’ll take a look at her. Let me see if I can get anything out of her,” you offer.

“She can’t speak,” JJ says.

“I don’t need that to communicate with her,” you say and walks over to the woman.

Lynn barely opens her eyes to look at you, and you give her the kindest eyes you can muster up.

“Hi, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I am only here to help. May I take your hand?” you ask and hold out your own.

She seems too eager to do so, and she grabs your hand as if it will cure her. Almost immediately upon contact, you get visions of her past right before she was poisoned. Your eyes close as the images transmit to you. Lynn is at the bank. She’s in line waiting to get some money taken out of her account. She grabs some candy out of a bowl as she waits and decides to cut her wait time in half by grabbing an envelope and writing her information down on it. She takes a step forward when the man in front of her does, and that’s where the vision ends. There is nothing out of the ordinary that is going on, so you’re not sure why you got that specific scene.

You open your eyes and look at Spencer and JJ. They half-expected you to get a definitive clue or something to lead them down a path, but you just shake your head. Your hand slips from Lynn’s, but as soon as you lose contact, she reaches up and grips your hand tightly. You look back at her to see her eyes open wide. She stopped coughing long enough to want to tell you something.

“JJ, Spencer, I think she’s trying to say something,” you say.

“The end…” Lynn barely gets out before having a coughing fit.

“The end…?” JJ questions.

You close your eyes once more in hopes that whatever she’s trying to tell you will show up in the visions you get. All you’re getting, however, is her picking up an envelope from the bank so she can use it for her money purposes.

“She may be incoherent from the lack of oxygen,” Spencer states.

Lynn pulls away hastily and turns on her side to let out a coughing fit. You take one step back and look at Spencer with a sad look.

“Doctor!” JJ calls. Once he’s inside Lynn’s room, she continues. “So, what are the chances that she's not poisoned, that maybe she just got some bad food?”

“Highly improbable. Chances are basically nil.”

“What is the rate of survival?” you ask.

“With this dose and without anti-toxin... zero.”

Lynn suddenly goes into V-Fib, and Spencer grips your shoulders to gently move you out of the way. You step back into his body to let the doctor and nurses through, but you don’t move once they do pass. You’re basically watching Lynn slowly die right in front of your eyes, and there is nothing you can do to help her. All you got is her at the bank, touching some candy, and writing on an envelope. How the hell is that going to help anyone?

“Doctor, her BP is dropping rapidly,” the nurse states.

Lynn’s heart can't hold out any longer, and you turn away so you don’t have to watch her die. You shrug out of Spencer’s arms and leave the hospital room. Him and JJ aren’t that far behind you. If you have even one more soul on your consciousness, there’s no telling what kind of nightmares you’ll have or if you can even handle another soul.

While you were with Lynn and experiencing her last few moments on Earth, Elle and Derek were at the bank looking through the security footage to see if they could spot a common denominator with all the victims. Every single person that was infected came into this bank, so it has to be the key to figuring out where this substance came from and who put it there—most importantly, who is the targeted audience. It’s why experts are testing the candy to see if what she touched is actually poisoned or not.

“Lynn Dempsey was an executive assistant. She has no expertise with chemicals. She doesn't fit the profile of the unsub,” Gideon notes.

“But the CDC found both LSD and Rohypnol in the candy she was replacing at the bank,” Derek says.

“She must have been an accomplice, and when the unsub finished using her to further his attack, he killed her with Botulism.”

“So, what does that tell us about the unsub?” Gideon asks the group.

“He's far more sophisticated than we realized,” you answer.

“Why is that?”

“The Botulism toxin is the deadliest substance known to man. It blocks Acetylcholine receptors, paralyzing its victims until, basically, choking you to death. Without an antitoxin, a lethal dose will kill you in thirty-six hours,” you try to explain, knowing only Spencer will truly understand what you’re saying.

“How many people have access to this stuff?” Elle wonders.

“In New Jersey, quite a few. It's actually the pharmaceutical and chemical capital of the US. So, that the toxin can be ordered in the form of Botox through any chemical or biological lab or Botox clinic. It has to be purified, but any chemist or lab assistant has that capability,” Spencer answers.

“So, we're looking for chemists and sophisticated lab assistants?”

“Basically,” you and Spencer say at the same time.

“Okay, wait a minute. If the unsub is a chemist with access to the toxin, what'd he need Dempsey for?” Derek wonders.

“Well, we don't know yet. But she worked for a company, called, uh... Hichcock Pharmaceuticals. I think there's a good chance the unsub worked there, too,” Gideon reads off his notes.

“Let's start with people who fit the profile who've had a recent stressor.”

“Like, anybody fired from Hichcock in the past six months.”

“Yeah, or demoted. Not recognized for their hard work. Anyone who seems under appreciated. Let me call Penelope,” you state and take out your phone.

You call her, and once you get her over the line, you quickly explain what is going on and what you need her raw talent. You place her on speakerphone for all to hear so you don’t have to repeat what she says.

“Hichcock's a giant company, Sugar Shack, and there were over a hundred people fired just this past year.”

“And so far, none of them fit the profile?”

“No. But, I do have thirty names of people who were downsized and shunted off to other lame companies with a cut in pay and benefits.”

“That’ll work,” you nod.

“Alright, send us the names. We'll cross-reference them with civil and criminal complaints filed with local PD. But I want you to keep digging, and while you're at it, look for any connection to the First New Jersey Federal Bank,” Derek asks ever so nicely.

“I'm on it, Angel,” she says, and you hang up.

“Our guys acting like a workplace mass murderer. He'd stay close—seething—and he'd plan his revenge,” Hotch points out.

“Well, if he is a workplace killer, what else does that tell us about him?”

“For one, they don't give themselves up. He's lost his empathy and his moral compass. He's capable of anything.”

“All those innocent people at the bank,” you mutter regretfully.

“They meant nothing to him. He'll take out anybody to forward his cause,” Gideon says.

“Like Dempsey.”

“Correct, and eventually, even himself. Not until he finishes taking out his primary targets.”

“We have no idea where he's going to strike next. For all we know, he could poison the local reservoir,” Derek groans.

“Well, the local cops haven't gotten any leads out of Dempsey. Why don't you go to Hichcock and see if you have any luck,” Hotch says to Elle who is already out of her chair.

“You got it,” she states and leaves.

Elle didn’t really get anything out of Lynn’s desk. Her assistant told her that Lynn wasn’t the best at holding high self-esteem and was a very quiet person in general. Most assistants and their bosses talk about what goes on in their personal life and are basically friends, but not Lynn and her assistant. She barely knew one thing about Lynn. It came up as a dead end, so you, Derek, and Gideon are researching who got laid off at Hichcock and if it was brutal enough to warrant deadly actions to get revenge.

Derek is sitting at the computer with you looming over his shoulder so you can read what he has up. Gideon is looking at the town’s map to see if he can come up with a geological profile. There haven't been a lot of people who were brutally laid off, but there are some that make you so sad to think that after all the time they spent in the company, it’s wasted.

“Gideon, some of these lay-offs were brutal. This one chemical engineer, he'd been at Hichcock for nineteen years when he was downsized,” Derek notes.

“Damn, that’s harsh,” you mutter.

“Yeah, that could certainly inspire homicidal rage, huh?”

“The guy was in his late forties and the head of his department. He definitely had a generous severance package,” you read.

“A lot of these guys don't have enough pension. They may not be happy about it, but I don't see them killing anyone,” Gideon states.

Derek’s phone rings, and you see that it’s Penelope calling with hopefully some good news. He answers it and puts it on speakerphone.

“Talk to me, Hot Stuff.”

“Get this, Cochise. I found a chemist who works at a company that was bought by Hichcock called Palmay Cosmetics. Now, here's the thing. Lynn Dempsey applied for a loan at New Jersey Federal Bank around the same time this chemist applied for a patent on this anti-aging, breakthrough technology thing called PCO-99.”

“So, you’re saying he applied for a loan in her name to make his product?” you ask.

“That's what I thought, but both the loan and the patent were rejected because Hichcock had already applied for the patent and the patent deal had gone through, drumroll please, at New Jersey Federal Bank. I'm tracking his cell phone and it won't be long before I have his location.”

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@averyhotchner @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @fan-girl-97 @paulaern @inkstainedwritergirl @estrela-rogers @abitchforjay @kwbaby24 @redsalv20 @joonie-centric @spencerreid-mgg @sixpencespencee @boygenius-reid @reidemandweep @prophecyflame @happynekochan1

#poison #series rewrite #criminal minds series rewrite #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #cm fanfiction #season 1 episode 13 #s1e13

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ladyartemesia · 3 years

Note

do you have any tips or advice to get followers to interacts, send asks etc? i have a ton of followers but rarely get any asks or anything. even if i try to initiate it, i'll get one or two interactions out of 10k :( idk what im doing wrong. part of me doesn't even want to come on here and write anymore

Wow! First of all way to go! 10K is a great following! Based on that alone I would guess your content is probably really fun and enjoyable!

Here is a list of things I’ve seen other people do as well as things I have done that seemed to promote interaction. I am by no means an expert. I’m extremely grateful to my followers because they are literally amazing and I’m consistently humbled by and in awe of their support.

There are a lot of ways that you might increase your interactions...

Ask games are good, but you specifically want to look for ones that focus on your followers rather than you. Examples of this would be the games where your followers send in a little about themselves and you tell them which of your characters would be their best match. Or ask for crazy stories or ideas. Ask for pet pics. Do a little review of their blog if they send in an ask. These are great ways to build connections with your followers.

Requests or drabble requests are a good way to get interaction if you are willing to write them. There are also fun request-style games you can play with your followers like “Give me a random fic title and I’ll give you a summary of the fic I would write for it.”

Ask my Muse games are very fun and popular! I like sending them in to my favorite authors and I love doing them with my followers.

I interact and share things on my blog that are more than just my writing. I share other author’s stories that I liked. I make rec lists. I sometimes will post my random ridiculous thoughts about stuff. I did a lot of that because it was just what I wanted to do, but people seemed to enjoy having a variety of things to interact with.

I talk to people when I can. I try to respond to comments and messages and asks and I also comment, send messages, and send asks. I also ask for fic recommendations because I am a VORACIOUS fic reader and I always want more. 🥺

I always try to be kind to people. Even if boundaries have to be enforced you can always do so with dignity and respect. I personally find kindness inviting. Being kind doesn’t mean you’re a pushover. It just means that you’re considering that whoever you’re talking to is a person and there is nothing wrong with letting them feel at ease if at all possible/appropriate. I’m sure you’re already very kind because this ask was so sweetly worded and I just got that vibe ☺️, but I wanted to mention it because it is something that I have specifically seen readers mention when it came to interacting with blogs.

I’ve seen authors ask their readers what they want to read (like what tropes or scenarios) or ask them to help with brainstorming fic ideas!

I’ve also seen authors just put lovely messages out like “I would love to talk to any or all of you.” (Something warm and inviting to that effect.) Sometimes authors ask for advice on everything from food recipes to travel ideas.

I ask for feedback and I tell my readers what it means to me. I simply say something along the lines of “I worked hard on this and it would mean a lot to hear from you about it. If you enjoyed it even just a little I would adore talking to you about it. It would really brighten my day.” And it’s true. Feedback is so uplifting and I want the people who are gracious enough to provide me with it to know that I don’t take it for granted. It’s precious.

You could always ask your followers why they don’t interact more or what would encourage them to interact more. Many times people are willing to share.

If you want, please feel free to DM me and we can talk more about it! Again—I am by no means an expert. I’m basically just summarizing what I have seen work and things I do that my lovely followers seem to appreciate or enjoy.

#things I have observed #I hope this helps #but I’m not really an expert 🙈#I just have amazing followers 🥰#via💋viola

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funkymbtifiction · 4 years

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Hi again, sorry to bother you.

I submitted this post because I have a few questions (I was typed ISFP 9w1).

I have doubts about Fi-Te.

▪Fe/Fi :

I mean, When I read Fi and Fe descriptions, I relate to low Fe better. I need your view on that.

I relate to the chamelion effect that is often associated with Fe.

Unlike Fi-doms who behave the same everywhere, my behavior changes from group/person to group/person, and the group dynamic and atmosphere indirectly affects me and my performance. <- 9 does this, also 3 fixers do this.

I’m usually reserved when alone, but with energetic people/groups I become more energetic, smile more and check myself less and get comfortable. While if I go into serious or cold groups, I become like that. And If I get uncomfortable vibes from a group, I may get uncomfortable as well, or I might think my presence is not desired or not important, so I try to minimize my interaction with that group. I try not to force myself upon people even though feeling excluded seriously bothers me. <-- mirroring the group this much again, suggests 9 (and 3?); you are deliberately avoiding conflict through changing to fit the group.

It’s like I have no specific personality or characteristics. I explain my personality with doubt but try to include all functions. I envy people who maintain the same personality and energy-level with everyone or stand up and rebel against things they don’t agree with even when they’re alone. <-- 963 or 936 tritype confirmed

On the other hand, I try to maintain the group harmony and not bother others even when I internally have problem with something or don’t agree with them. I don’t rebel against the majority unless I have no other choice. <- 9 core

I assume being liked or appreciated by others matters to me a lot. As a kid and teen, I acted on this need (indirectly) by getting good grades or doing my homework and being nice to teachers. I wasn’t aware of it much. As I grew up, I became more dependent on other people, their vibe, their motivation or inner thoughts and their views. I miss my teen years because of that. <- numbing out and ignoring things as a teen? again, 9

I am not social expert. I suck at manipulating others or changing the group dynamics. I can’t “MAKE” people think/do something. I can’t stand my ground really well. I don’t even know how to comfort people. <- sounds like Fi-dom, not Fe

My view on good or bad is also relative. I can say pros & cons for things and I rarely view something as pure good or pure bad (It happens but it’s rare).<- Fi-dom has more nuance, is willing to give more benefit of the doubt, and is not as quick to judge people as Fe, since... well, Fi is subjective, ruminating, and inward based.

I also have problem defining when I “should” hold my ground and when I should stay back and keep quiet. <- lack of boundary awareness, a 9 issue

I dislike selfish people who boss others, don’t do their share of work in the group or disturb the group harmony by bringing negativity or drama. <- personal assertion of an ethical preference + 9 hatred of drama and negativity

Unlike Fi-dom stereotypes, I try my best to avoid feelings or emotion. So I try my best not to bother others to avoid potentially nasty confrontations. Every type of feeling is toxic and unhealthy to me. I’d rather deal with data, impersonal facts and professional relations than complicated people, drama or feelings. I’d rather be around impersonal, just, uncomplicated and direct people. <- 9 to the max; let’s not be unpleasant, let’s not let in anything that makes me feel uncomfortable, let’s suppress and ignore feelings as much as possible, let’s not hang out with annoying or troublesome people... this is not Fe, this is a 9 refusing to engage with anything that makes them uncomfortable

Fe-like grips for me happen during three situations. a)Failure or being hopeless about major future goals (which I try to avoid), b)Loss of loved ones or being away from them for a long time, c)Feeling excluded or being in a toxic/complecated/dramatic/unjust environment <- the first sounds like inferior Te frustration

Being in grip makes me sensitive, hopeless and paranoid of other peopl’s intentions. I then wish I could have more social skills and more connections/friends. <- Fe envy + 6ish disintegration

In general, I’m not an F expert and try to avoid that realm. But every once in a while, I wish I had more social skills, could open up to people and be cool around them. <- Fi-dom seriousness and detachment from others

________________________________________

▪S/N:

I agree with Se and Ni over their counterparts. I would be witty/argumentative and also more flexible if I had Ne.

But I still have trouble relating to Se, at least the stereotypes.

Sure, I wish I had more action, excitement and novelty in my life, and I might act on it some day (after reaching my professional goals), and I’m a visual/tactile learner and get bored by small details or impractical theories.

But still, I get uncomfortable dealing with the sensory (and social) realm for a long time and get sensory overload. I sometimes have trouble staying in the moment. Not to mention, I’m physically lazy and need someone more willful and energetic to initiate activities at first. And I’m somewhat of a homebody at the moment and bad which makes me relate to Se-aux even less.

Even my interests differ from stereotypical SP ones and look similar to Intuitive interests. I have little interest in watching team sports or car/F1 races on TV. I much prefer to learn about scientific facts, space, other cultures, different countries and their food/drinks and architecture, languages and different philosophical and psychological views and self-help stuffs. I often google things like that.

I do relate to Ni, as I have my goals/plans and, care about them and try to reach them (and would freak out if I couldn’t which means I lack flexibility about them).

Also, last minute changes of plans, or being kept in the dark about future or a project really bothers me. But I agree with you that having a cynical Ni might mean its position is not dom. Also, I’m not good at things like chess (find it boring), decision-making or guessing test questions (stereotypical Ni stuffs)

Based on the new info I added, Am I still Se-Ni?

... those are a lot of negative stereotypes about ISPs. An SP can sit at home on their butt and watch television all day long and never do anything creative with their hands, it does not disqualify them from being Se. An SP can be an avid reader and love learning about all kinds of things, it does not make them an intuitive. An ISP prefers to have a general idea of what they want and think before they act, it doesn’t make them an INJ. Basically, none of what you said disqualifies you from being an ISFP. I would look at Ne vs Se if you are still not sure, but I’m still seeing IFP 9.

________________________________________

▪T :

I do brainstorm things and read between the lines in my head. But I have little interest in sharing them with people or debating with people. Maybe I don’t debate much because of shyness. I also need time processing and analyzing the things being said, so I rarely challenge someone. <-- introvert, not a thinker tendency; high Ti knows what’s irrational without needing to process it, and will react accordingly by pointing out the illogical statement.

I’m more cynical than positive. If I doubt the truth of something or an statement or a program, I analyze and research about it if needed. I sometimes I argue with my family members or debate about social stuffs, taboo stuffs or some other stuffs. specially when I think what they think/believe is irrational. But I rarely target them directly or attack them about it, unless I know they’re thick-skinned and don’t make a big deal out of it. Also, I dislike it when people change a friendly debate into aggressive personal attacks. <- 9 avoidance of conflict / confrontation

When debating with my family, I use a mixture of facts and brainstorming results as debating tools. But In general I trust proven facts more than personal analysis and specially at school, I used to dislike too much theory, analysis and details. <- proven facts = Te, hatred of theory = Se/Ni

What makes me doubt being a thinker (or even a F-dom)? The fact that I rely on other people to describe myself and my self-worth. And the fact that A toxic atmosphere or exclusion can have impact on my mental health and performance. Also, my shyness and lack of assertiveness in social stuffs and being conflict-averse and fearing confrontations.

I think ISFP 9 is correct. Most of what you describe, as you’ve seen is simply being a 9, and you don’t have the kind of strong knowledge of Te/Ti that an ISTP or TJ would have.

#question #isfp #submission

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yvaineseleneposts · 3 years

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Party Vibes, pt 3

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part three of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 816

Warning(s): none? I guess

After I ran away from home, I ended up in my favourite café, drinking some pink unicorn latte that they just added to the menu. Suddenly I felt a familiar presence. “Hey Y/N, watcha doin’ here?” Ashton asked me as he sat down on the barstool next to mine. I didn’t answer him and just raised my cup before putting my mouth on the straw again, not looking at him once. Before he could open his mouth, I started talking… surprising us both. “Look I am sorry I kissed you and it will never happen again. I just didn’t want someone else thinking I was in love with them because they also got a letter and yeah sorry.” “Wow wait what, I am not the only one who got a letter? Damn and I felt so special”, he said placing his right hand over his heart. “Yes, well anyways I got to go.” “How did you get here? I don’t see your car.” “I uhm.. I ran, basically so yeah.” Before I knew it I was in the passenger’s seat of Ashton’s car. He started talking about us fake dating, so he could maybe make his ex jealous. I tried to talk him out of it but somehow he pursued me into playing along.

The next day we made a contract for our fake love/ fake relationship. Once we were both happy we went out separate ways, only to ‘be together’ during lunch. It was interesting though, but I knew that I had to tell Ryver about my relationship.. but I couldn’t lie to Ryver. So that night I sat on my bed with my laptop, waiting for Ryver to skype me. You could say I was a nervous wreck. How in the world could I tell Ryver that I am dating Ashton so Kyan won’t think I am in love with him anymore because somehow the letter that I wrote him from a long time ago, got out?

During my skype conversation I kept ignoring half of the questions Ryver asked me and I made our talk come to a quick end when I almost blurted everything out. That is also when the doorbell rang and Ashton was actually at my house. He came to pick me up for a party he didn’t even tell me about, for which I wasn’t ready and never would be ready for. But Ashton being Ashton he persuaded me into going with him. We actually weren’t at the party for long though, once Ashton was convinced his ex had seen us, we left to go to the diner for some food. “You know I am actually surprised that you’re not afraid of Camreigh.” “Oh, I am terrified of her.” “Might be, but you don’t let it show. Like on that first day when she was being a bitch towards you, you handled that so well.” This actually made me look up. I can’t believe he still remembers the first day. “I mean I couldn’t say anything because we were together but I thought they looked amazing. You have a really great style you know, I think you look better than Cam all the time.” “Why, thank you.” At that point I got up, ready to go home. When he got a text. From his face, I could read it was Cam. “You, uh, you guys still talk on the phone?” “Yeah sometimes, why?” “I guess that I just think that it’s a little weird that you guys still talk to each other. That’s not healthy.” “Oh so now you are a relationship expert. You never even had a boyfriend before and you are attacking me?” “Well you only had one girlfriend and you are obsessed with her. That’s weird.” “I am not obsessed with her.” “Prove it, don’t talk to her tonight”, I say and step forward, probably not looking as intimidating as I want it to look. “Only if you tell me why you never had a boyfriend before.” Why would he possibly want to know that. “I have never been asked.” “Bullshit, I know Grayson asked you to the spring formal.” “Okay well I love to write about it and read about it, but when it’s real.. it’s scary. ‘Cause the more people you let into your life, the more that can just walk right out.” “I think it’s funny, you say you are scared but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me.” “That’s because we are just pretending.” If you listened really closely, you could actually hear Ashton’s heart break. His face fell and he left pretty quickly after that. I kind of felt bad, but I was telling him the truth. The more time I was spending with him, the more I realised that I needed to repeat to myself that we were pretending that this was not real. And it hurt.

#ashton #ashton irwin #ashtonirwin #irwin #ashton irwin blurb #ashton blurb #ashton irwin imagine #ashton 5sos #ashton imagine #5sos ashton #5sos imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine

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roachmattea · 3 years

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seems fun so 💕??

yeah!!

(disclaimer: no matter how many times i have read the vibes of my friends in excerpt class, i am not an expert vibe reader. all of these are just me...creating characters based on my extremely limited interactions with you! i will get things wrong and misanalyze you, (especially those i have not interacted with that much!) and i apologize in advance! now, to the vibes 🥰)

you’re kinda in the background of the movies, with a stronger presence in the books. everyone thinks if they got a tv series instead you’d get more screentime. it’s a recurring theme in the fandom. but you’re too big of a character for the side plots, and the author wrote much more of you in the later books. a fan favourite, the fanart of you (from the books, ugh the movies totally got you wrong) is >>>>>>>

#the character vibes ask games #(probably closed now)#interaction with amelia #lia answers stuff #ask #answered

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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prompts

April 26th: Talk about special interests. Do you have special interests? If not do you wish you did? What do your special interests mean to you? What are your current special interests? What are your past special interests? idk like i know i sure have & have had Interests, some more of interest than others, and it's also like, oh yeah i guess the ways i held that interest / explored it pretty intently / extensively / at length didn't always seem to be the way other people always felt about things even if we shared the interest, but yknow, at the same time it doesn't necessarily seem as extensive or major as some of the aspects of defining a Special Interest(tm) can be, i haven't been too pressed about it, but of course it's like, i have my Things lol, i.e. yeah this thing is kind of My Thing....and then i can look back on Things like. well idk when i was really little and you're just gonna like Cool Stuff, i did have the thing of like, i like dinosaurs and did sorta casually collect dinosaur stuff, easy enough b/c they make that stuff for kids, memorized a bunch of dinosaur Names so that just being asked to recite a bunch was something i was known to be able to do, a big fan of a couple semi educational computer games we had, shoutout to 3d dinosaur adventure and this magic school bus dinosaur (and ocean) game, had pajamas ft dinosaurs, rip to when i had a sick metal lunchbox with dinosaurs on it and it just broke on like week 1 of first grade or whatever and i just had to go back to default lunchboxes. well and then but anyways but from then on it was like, well, i guess it's media time......read a shit ton all the time, was into some tv series / movies, played some pc / video games, there was stuff i'd be glad to revisit over and over, and yknow, as this went on it'd be like, well now when there's A Relatable Enough Character in something i also like just in general, that's a powerful combo, though sometimes it's like, yeah i like this thing enough even in the absence of any particular [and i extra go hard about this character] element, that's not Not at play as it's like "well and i guess i will think about this quant every day for years now lmfao," and i can sure always talk about stuff At Length too, which sure is not something other people are generally interested in, but if/when they are, it's like okay great, this is a great connection point then, b/c otherwise it's like, i generally don't know what to say about myself, didn't get much practice, did pick up a sense of like, well stuff is Wrong about myself and my life so i shouldn't share it and also i'm not picking up friends so it was generally accurate that no one was exactly interested lmao. small talk is really more of a barrier / test you can just potentially fail, yet anything more personal is Oversharing, but hey i would earnestly love to talk at length about This Thing, so great when other people are into that at all lol and then if we vibe it's like, obviously that's the sort of functional "small talk" route here lol to being able to be more familiar w/each other and talk more generally, even if yknow, wuh oh, i'm kind of cagey outside those Interests i will talk about in ways that's probably "too much" by most ppl's standards, worst of both worlds when it comes to forming relationships but oh well, it is what it is and i sure don't consider it a bad thing i have plenty to say about things i Want to talk about, and it sure doesn't impede on anyone else if i'm Not Talking about other shit.

also then it's like, "idk what it is when you just determinedly Pursue something that's maybe still not the hugest deal, but i don't really feel very pressed re: figuring it out" like, does it count like how i mentioned today i'd read bird guides for fun as a kid, and watch this bird documentary and be like "hey. check out this scene in this bird documentary with this bird mimicry" to friends i now realize were probably mostly bemused by this, and really liked birds just generally (still true), and thus have like, maybe more Bird Knowledge than the average random person but also am hardly some self taught ornithological expert. or how i'm big into linguistics and etymology and, in theory, language learning, always really latching on to the little i was taught in school, also perusing some Language Guides available, and like, not really self teaching a bit re: learning some of a couple languages, just learning via teaching resources outside of [directly through any academic institution], never took any language classes, sure have no fluency in fuckall.........how about that i just decided as a kid like "hm i want to be able to draw" b/c i felt that way (and yknow, still do in a way lol) about pretty much anything, but i just also liked doodling and took some art classes and it was always this casual thing and now i use this to make fanart for the Media Interests lol, and although this is all digital drawing and drawing was always my primary thing it's like, well okay also yeah there was like, some painting / pastels / sculpting other Visual Arts stuff, and then, like, i sure enjoyed dance classes and the Performing Arts aspect of that, theatre gay adjacent b/w that and choir lol, have regular dreams about being part of impromptu dance performances, including just last night, rip to the special thwarting of "oh no i'm going around trying to get food before the show, getting stuck in traffic or lost in stores, and i've missed my whole first appearance" lol. anxiety dreams never end........and idk, i've had a love for math stuff, physics stuff, space stuff, even felt that [!] for the little i was able to get into circuitry and coding, but yknow. learning that shit is kind of involved and i only had so much experience re: taking classes, also, unfortunately, i always hated school lmao, so it's just kind of there where i'm like oh i get Into this shit in the ways that other people who are definitely Into it feel about it lmao. but yeah, idk, i do have like. well here's this sort of stuff i think about Every Day, this sort of mental home base sometimes, that i don't get tired of and reexplore / reexperience pretty intensively, but at the same time like, sometimes i can just sort of have something be that Interest for a lot more of a temporary duration, and things that were that main shit is like, well Probably when i like it that much once i like it down the line even if i haven't been that focused on it in the meantime, more just latent, but then it's like, well, but probably could and would still talk So Much about it still even if it's not like, oh yeah i'm Into This(tm) right Now lol..........idk! but i sure get really into shit and like, if anyone else is interested in me talking at length / drawing about it, that's sure probably the most successful grounds for Connection lmao cuz yknow. even people who maybe share that interest aren't guaranteed to see that and go "yeah this is someone i'm interested in actually talking to though" like yeah here's your preview of my personality i guess lol

April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? yeah i read all the time as a kid, on the bus, if i finished shit early at school, on the bus again, also at home plenty, not so much when i was in college when it's like oh i can just do kinda whatever now (also as people point out it's like. well gotta do all this reading for classes now so) and then it was like, i'll get into other Media i can freely experience at any time, and also hang out with people Some, which i can also just do whenever now, as opposed to at any point before this......still like reading but it can sure kind of be a Whole Thing, like i either can't focus and it's like well time to read like, a paragraph or page a day, or else i'm focusing Too Much really like, if i'm at all trying to see how something ends i might burn through it in a few days (still a fairly slow reader) which is like, do i want to spend multiple days on this One Thing, even if it takes me like, multiple times the runtime to watch a movie or something, that's still probably getting done in 1 day. plus that yeah, mostly reading new shit via laptop, which is kind of a pain as opposed to physical books or like, e readers in theory, i've never actually used one. the only time i used an audiobook was a few times as a kid to read along with longer books to sort of help with that momentum, such a hot minute ago that this was via Tape Cassette.....i do listen to podcasts though, great for like, doing Something Else at the same time, which i don't know that i could split up that focus and guaranteed successfully absorb a book, Maybe So but select podcasts are my Extensive Audio of choice. never really watched that much tv, there were some stuff me and my siblings might watch as it aired, but not really Narrative Series lol, never seen shit, haven't even really watched That many movies either, still don't Really even though it's like yeah w/e in Theory i enjoy these mediums it's like oh my godddd it's a whole thing to focus on one and then plus what if i don't like it but i've had to put in all that time to know i didn't like it lmao.......i can enjoy keeping up with a tv series like, oh boy once a week a half hour to hour installment, that's a great format truly, but i'm rarely getting that experience lmao like. with billions you could stand 2 weeks between episodes b/c whew but it's v Rare like oh thank god, a series with that weekly release........but otherwise it's like ugh do i wanna have alllll this material to watch, do i wanna go through the whole process of figuring out what movie i feel like giving a try........and that i like Revisiting shit i already like pretty endlessly so it's like, i might just do that. so it's like, audio wise i'll put on podcasts, if i feel like watching something i Might be bothered to try out a movie or smthing b/c yknow, ultimately more doable to consume something that's just a few hours, all that when i'm Thinking About a tv series every day for years lmfao, shoutout to billions which sure gets to be my fave b/c tf else am i keeping up with, literally nothing else, even if i haven't gotten around to actually watching all of it yet / haven't simply sat straight through even the episodes i have watched, i Could do it but it's like god formidable when it's sure more than a movie's worth of content and plenty of "i don't care about this and/or hate this" to make me put my head through the wall lmfao thank you billions........also sometimes i remember like "oh yeah, i guess in theory i enjoy video games as well" but i didn't have That much experience w/them and sure don't now, so that's like well irrelevant ig. media

#30daysofautismacceptance #2021

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bayrut · 4 years

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SO since you’re the marvel expert here, which marvel movies are good in your opinion? I want a TED talk, please explain yourself with full detail bc ily when you talk about thing you like 💖 (I’m preparing myself to hear some bad takes tho)

ok so hi camila I am currently during a lab meeting so i will be able to finish this essay, but be warned this is,,,, extremely long i hope tumblr even lets me post this. but here are my favorite mcu movies in no particular order. like they’re all good, then i have a tiny section for honorable mentions of some movies that have a certain few good elements but overall are not Good TM. then i have a special mention for The Movie that shaped superhero movies forever (even though it is not my fave).

If you find this too long and decide to not read that it okay!!! i totally get it. but if you don’t read my reply at least read this:

comic books are like a story and art/visuals right? but the two things that movie makers forget about when adapting a comic book to the screen are exactly that!!! the story and the visuals. they thing that they can make a movie where everyone punches everyone and throw in a few jokes and people will be please (and they are, look at how much money they are making...) but i am not pleased. there is no story, they don’t care about character arc. and the visuals are ugly, the art in comics is supposed to help the story, to help the plot flow, like the fights should tell stories in the way that they’re organized, and the visuals should be breathtaking and serve the plot. and this all is not hard to do like: just hired a good choreographer for the fights and learn how to shoot shots properly and that’s... it. and it has been done before in some of the movies i mentioned and some shows *cough cough* watch daredevil *cough cough* so yeah it is doable but the directors dont care and would prefer to make mindless action movies with jokes and label them as ‘superhero movies’ because they know people will eat that up.

anyway, rant over, these are the best marvel movies: (open at your own risk this is extremely detailed, 4 word pages long and i did not proof read it, it took me over two hours to write)

the best marvel movie of all time must spider-man: into the spider-verse but that’s probably because they spent so many time on it to get it right. also, it’s probably cheating to consider it the best movie, since it’s animated so it does get the whole comic book vibe best automatically. but really the movie is funny, like a spider-man movie should be, the art is beautiful it is Art and honestly anyone that doesn’t think the same can unfollow me. i tried the first time i saw the trailer and also when i watched it in the cinema. Art. although the dialogue is a bit poor, and they did my girls gwen and peni dirty. but john mulaney is in it so!!! definitely one of the superior movies. the art is so beautiful i write and cry about it all the day but the fact that each character is done in a different style, and that the background and scenery is so,,, detailed,,, like it’s beautiful. even besides being a good superhero movie, it’s an amazing animated movie when compared to the trash kids get these days, where all characters look the same in a movie but also from a movie to the next. also the soundtrack was kinda amazing for the movie. tl;dr: i want my spider-verse 2 now please and thank you, the 10 second teaser was enough for me to tear up

black panther is one of the best marvel movie. i know a lot of people have focused on the diversity aspect of it and how we need black superheros so i won’t focus on it too much, you already know that. but. the costumes. are so beautiful. they spent so much time designing costumes. the plot was interesting, which honestly,,, i can’t say the same for most superhero movies these days. the movie encapsulates the magically tehcnological vibe that wakanda gives off in the comics, and honestly all the actors did a great job. also, the casino fight scene... like help that was too beautiful. superhero movies fight scenes should feel like a well-organized and elegant choreography, and honestly i’m so upset that a lot of movies decide to be like whatever they can throw in punches and that will. like in comics the punches and kicks serve to fight a narrative, to help the flow of the images move. it’s not an action movie or one of those war movies where whoever punches whoever else and that’s done. those are comic book adaptations. i need to see the flow of images. the art. where is it. anyway. black panther has that in probably all fight scenes, and i would like to say thanks to everyone who worked on that aspect. like for real fight scences looking pretty is a big part of why i like or don’t like a superhero comic book, movie, or tv show (on that note, go watch daredevil). also, the movie was funny enough but not a joke. like a comic book should be. loved it

logan: ok idk if this is an unpopular opinion and idc, but the xmen movies are far more superior than the other movies. they just get the vibe right. logan was a beautiful movie. it was different than all other movies in the superhero genre, it is violent but not violent for the sake of violent, it was violent to portray how violent life it. it wasn’t showing blood just to show blood. it captures so many emotions like intense grief and regret correctly, it is an actually Good Content movie, like many adults treat the superhero genre as a joke, and i think logan shows that it should not be treated as a joke. also, i think the characterisation of logan (like i mean the character himself) was much better in this movie compared to the xmen movies. like there he is just brooding and rude, but in logan i think he stopped being a 2-dimensional character. anyway, love it, teared up at the end, we should get more xmen movies and in general, superhero movies like this

ok i might be biased because i know the script by heart by now, but guardians of the galaxy is also one of the greatest movies based on a comic book. idk how much you know about gotg, but the comics were not doing great before the movie, but after it like marvel started making new runs and they all became popular. anyway my point is: the story was beautiful, the images and background were Beautiful, it was funny, it was a movie about not belonging anywhere but finding people to call home, about finding a reason to live. all the characters were like whatever i just exist i don’t matter and!! they found home. a lot of people treat the movie as a joke because of how light it is and how the characters are all different stereotypes of ‘funny sarcastic character’, but it really is beautiful. and the soundtrack.... can i just say... genius, superior, amazing, fantastic, i could go on for days. that opening scene where star-lord is alone and singing??? the way it is filmed??? the choreography of it all?? like idk it’s just too good. i have lots of feelings about gotg. the second one wasn’t as good, i didn’t like the main plot it was a bit Too Much but i liked the continuing theme of finding home with Yondu (who deserved better imo) but yes gotg is a superior movie

iron man, like how do i even describe this movie without insulting it... it launched the MCU. it is iconic. RDJ is amazing but not only him, everyone in that movie is great. and honestly all the iron man movies are great. (if you compare with how tony stark is portrayed in the avengers movies, like he’s way more shallow there). the movies make sense, the fight scence have that dramatic and elegant element about them. the second wasn’t my fave, but still was extremely good. the third was amazing too, like the ending of it with the suits and all that... the portrayal of mental illness, like panic attacks and anxiety,,, like this is truly what the movie genre should be about. not just mindless fights, it is about stories, and that is why most superhero movies are not good. normal people go and like them but i can’t enjoy them. and not just me (and comic book readers), like people who enjoy them are usually the people who are okay to go watch a random movie with good jokes (because that’s what most superhero movies are these days, bad plot but good enough jokes for people to go pay 15$ and see them). i mean i am ok with those movies too, but since i read comics i don’t and can’t really enjoy those movies. i think when people tell me they don’t like marvel, it is most often because they are people that read (not just comics) like they read books and care about plot and what is the movie really trying to say so when they’re asked why they dont like the movie they’re like oh it’s a dumb superhero movie... and i can’t argue with that because most superhero movies are like that right now... they profit off the fact that some superhero movies (like iron man) were huge hits that revived the genre, and profit off the fact that people think they will automatically enjoy the movie and wil go watch it, so they don’t care about actually writing a story...

xmen days of the future past this is,,, such a good movie,,, i’m a sucker for time-travel when it’s done right, and the slow-motion quicksilver scene with the music,, can i just say,,, poetic cinema,,, beautiful,, my only complaint is that there are not enough relevant female characters but like,,, it looks how a comic book movie should look like,,, anytime i’m on a plane i have to watch it... also,,, i discovered 2 years ago that a lot of scenes were filmed at my university so like,, it holds an extremely special place in my heart, i can’t believe i’ve been in the same buildings where they filmed it, it’s crazy..

doctor strange: ok ok dont @ me yet please listen. i know story-wise it is meh, they didn’t do it well (but i have real high hopes for the sequel, but that’s a talk for another day) but the visuals!!!! the visuals!!!! the fights!!! the way that they morph like reality during the fights,,, it’s just,, so beautiful, one could get drunk just by looking at it,,, also,, the sanctum sancotrum looks so pretty. the fights flow amazingly well (kudos to the cape). the dormammu scence!!!! oscar-worthy!! like i know the plot wasn’t great and the movie is zelma-erasure but!!! it looks like a superhero movie should look like and look i’m an arts kid that’s why i like comics because they’re pretty and the pictures tell a story. like of course i read books i read a lot but the visuals are so important for comic books and they should be for comic book to movie adaptations and they’re often not but doctor strange had it

ok one of my faves it ant-man and also the sequel but let’s focus on ant-man for a second, it is goofy but has lots of emphasis on the family subplot and that’s beautiful. this movie should have gotten an award just for when Luis tells stories like that scene is iconic. a lot of people think it’s a dumb movie because it focuses a lot on being funny but actually like the themes!!! aborded. like being in jail then not being able to find a job, then trying to steal again just because you need money because you wanna see your kid, like the power of showing this!! people treat it as a joke like ha ha look he is an engineer and he is working in an ice cream store, but here again no it’s an important story and comic books are books like @ movie directors where is my story??? why are you making a movie but forgetting the story??? how and why?? anyway ant-man had a story!! and also the scott/cassie father/daughter relationship.... like.. my heart. also the visual when ant-man becomes too tiny... very pretty

ok now for some movies that arent the best but have some really good elements that have to be mentioned

thor ok so a lot of people think it is not good but loki in it... i swear tom hiddleston is a great actor and just like,,, the way he portrays despair and like sadness and grief (over himself! about losing himself) is really beautiful... like even in the dark world his performance was really good,,, the Dramaticism of it all.... amazing,,, but his character was done so dirty in the MCU, like loki and wanda and strange are supposed to be the 3 most powerful sorcerers in the marvel world and the MCU was like there you get a small knife, as a treat (like don’t get me wrong i want loki to have a knife but...) also his character deserves more depth than that... like the comic books are breathtaking i’m so sad they did loki so bad... they erased the fact that loki is genderfluid, that he has complex morals, that loki is the god/goddess of stories not just whatever he is supposed to be in those movies... anyway i’m hoping for better characterization in the show, especially that they also hired a female actress to also play loki so we might get genderfluid loki,,, but also i dont wanna have hope and clown

big hero 6 (yes it counts do not fight me): although the animation was very similar to the animation these days, like it was not Special like into the spider-verse, the story is cute, it tackles important topics like grief and how do deal with grief, which is good considering that most kids movies these days just rehash the same topics and don’t care about the plot lines or what is learned

ok i hate and i really mean absolutely hate the new spider-man movies because the are bad but far from home has to be acknowledged for jake gyllenhaal as mysterio but not just about jake, in the end he is just an actor. you know that scene where he is doing his ‘illusions’ towards the end of the movie and it never ends and everytime you think the scene is over and we’re back to reality it turns out we’re still in the ‘illusion’??? just this scene and i really mean just this one scence did it right. like it’s like a comic book. when i watched it i was breathless i is beautiful. anything else in that movie i don’t care at all

i like venom but not because it’s great, the plot is very weak and it doesn’t look great but tom hardy is really good in it... like him losing it over having a symbiote in himself, being like Stressed and Anxious and A Disaster TM is really good... like when he goes to the restaurant and eats that lobster alive and sits in the tank... like amazing and superb love it

and finally, i can’t make this list without mentioning the movie that really made the difference:

avengers ok so avengers was not the best because it really did not care about black widow or hawkeye or hulk at all (their characterization is horrible and butchered in all the movies), and i don’t even like captain america, and thor is annoying, so basically tony stark, loki, and our buddies at shield carry the whole movie, but this movie is so important in terms of like, it’s the first movie that really like started the crossover movies for superheros, the ‘let’s put it all together and hope people don’t get confused’. without it like really the MCU (and DCU, even though idc much about it sorry) would be nothing like they are today!! but yeah like it did so many characters dirty like the characterization sucks, the plot is rushed,,, but like it’s okay. oh and the fight scenes are good! like you still have the whole elegant choreography element of it, which exists in the first few crossover marvel movies like this one and age of ultron (that movie was dissapointing i was so hyped for ultron as a villain and then they made him out to be a tuna can) but then for like civil war and endgame and all that it’s just huge fights and everyone hitting anyone and i don’t care for that like you get lost the only info you can take out is like: oh, there is punching happening. you don’t get to enjoy elements of it and how all the characters are interacting and collaborating together to make a visually pleasing scene simply because those fights are. not. visually. pleasing. anyway. also the shawarma scene was superior.

#camila if you actually read this all #or if anyone else actually reads this all....#like rip idk you guys are true friends #like truly idk no one cares about what i talk about and i know i talk a lot #like if you do read this i literally dont know how to repay you #maybe i'll read all of your larry fics #anyway if you dont i really wont be sad dont worry about it i went overboard #ily camila #asks #my mcu rant #pinkpoppunk #thechampagnelovers

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