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lostgreekgod · 1 year

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sinner's damnation: part 1

a/n: its been SO LONG. and ik I said I wont probably write anymore, but technically I wrote this like a year ago and we've only now come to finishing it. so he's my first collab and probably my last loki fanfic with my best big bro @theaudacitytowrite 😗💞

pairing: loki x f!reader, angst with some fluff in nex's part hehe

warnings: human trafficking, blood, gore, swearing. lmk if theres anything else

link to part 2

words: 4.8k (LMAO sorry)

taglist: @theaudacitytowrite @gaitwae @naterson @queenjosielaufeyson @1marvelnerd3000 @dmltnlvr

Tony Stark had passed an unnecessary comment aimed at him. Again. Loki did what he usually did in response to that. He got up and left.

A movie night meant being quiet and paying attention to said movie. But obviously, no one followed that rule. Thor had forced Loki into yet another weekend Avenger bonding time, ignorant of his protests, and the God had yet again been "teased" by none other than the billionaire. One thing Midgardians found hard to understand was the fact that no matter how inexpressive someone was, they still had feelings. Feelings that the so-called 'virtuous' Avengers entirely made a point of ignoring.

Another thing - whatever Stark did? It wasn't plain and simple teasing. It was a sly little tactic for their glorious pastime. Bored? Then taunt Loki. Try eliciting a reaction. Did his eyebrow twitch? Did he grit his jaw? Then congratulations! You've successfully won the game of tease-Loki-until-his-face-twitches.

Loki was currently packing up, fuming over the conversation he had just overheard. He was going to leave.

"Don't you think your brother might be... how do I put this? A little too uptight?" Loki heard Stark's voice from the corridors. It had been an hour since he had gotten up and walked away from the stupid movie the Avengers were watching, and he had returned to the kitchen to get his nightly cup of tea. Thor and Stark seemed unaware of his presence as they spoke about him in hushed voices.

"Nonsense," Thor boomed, although he knew he was supposed to be whispering. But obviously, he saw no need for it. He didn't care if Loki heard him. "Loki doesn't care about what you think of him. Hel, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him. He'll be fine."

Loki grimaced. Thor was right. He didn't care what these measly Midgardians thought of him, right? He shouldn't. Then why was he so affected? Why did it anger him so much, the fact that the stupid metal man could barely contain himself without passing a rude comment at him every time?

"He lives up to his name, Anthony. He's cold-hearted, a snake. He proved that when he stabbed me at like, 8 years old."

Loki’s stomach somersaulted. Did his older brother really think of him in such a derogatory manner? He stepped closer to the wall, trying to catch the rest of their conversation.

"I keep telling Cap we can't trust him. What's worse, Capsicle knows it. Yet he's here, with us like New York never happened," Tony continued, braver than before now that Thor had participated in dissing Loki. "It won’t take long before he betrays us. Again."

Now Loki flinched. Sure, he might have been planning another escapade, but betrayal? Where would he go? Asgard? There was no one for him there. His mother's death had made that very clear. Who would he lead? He did not have an army of Chitauri to serve him this time. He didn't have anybody - no family, no army, no friends. He thought he had Thor to a certain extent but once again, he was wrong. He was alone, and he would remain alone no matter where he went. Hands shaking, he raced to his room, his cup of tea forgotten. He didn't care if his brother could hear him.

Loki wasn't one for spontaneous decisions. He was a planner. An organizer. He hated when he didn't have things planned out meticulously, but right now that was the last thing on his mind. He was leaving. He didn't know where he would go, but it was better than being stuck with people who wished for his absence. He shoved his mother's spell books into a duffel bag as he tugged on the green comforter on his bed. He knew he could conjure one with his seidr anytime, but something told him to take it along - so he did. His eyes landed on a box of his favourite assorted tea bags. Before he could think, he grabbed it. He didn't have anything else left for him in the Avenger compound. He noticed the framed picture of Thor and him on his dresser. Thor was laughing heartily as Loki scowled at him - but he remembered the warmth he felt in his chest. The love he had for his brother. The memory quickly faded when the earlier conversation replayed in his mind. Cold-hearted. Snake.

He zipped up the bag harshly and dashed out of his room. It was only a matter of time until FRIDAY notified the Avengers of his absence. He headed towards the basement, his hands still trembling. He grabbed a set of keys and clicked the button on it. When he first ended up being among the Avengers, he was sent on a mission along with Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson. He had watched how Romanoff had handled the automobile they rode in, and by the time the mission was over, he kind of had it figured out. He still had questions about the little stick on the side - how they moved it whenever the terrain changed - but he was sure he could handle it. He noticed a sleek black car that had blinked its lights in response and moved towards it. Shoving his bag in, he started the car. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he braced himself. Thor didn't deserve Loki's companionship.

"Loki!" his eyes shot open when he heard his brother's voice. Had they realized it already? He glanced in the mirror to see Thor running towards him. "What are you doing?" he yelled, his face perplexed.

Loki stepped on the accelerator, the car immediately zooming out of the parking. He glanced back at Thor using the rear-view mirror, only to see a look of betrayal on his features. His heart stung. How dare he? How dare he assume such a look when he spoke so badly of his own brother just a few minutes ago as if nothing ever happened?

The car shot out of the compound, Loki still manoeuvring it rather perfectly despite the slippery roads. He was proud of himself for being able to learn well, just from observation. That was all he had. His mind, his heart, and himself.

"Brother!" Thor's voice boomed from somewhere behind the car. Of course. Loki was no match for Mjolnir. Thor simply shot his hammer into the air, and hurray! Here he was. Loki looked out of his window to see Thor flying next to him through the ice-cold winter night, his face still donning the innocent look of betrayal. Loki felt his blood heat up in anger.

"Leave, Thor. I have nothing to say to you," Loki said, glaring at him. It was rather late in the night, and only a few vehicles were travelling on the road they were on. He was thankful for that. The speed he was going on wasn't exactly safe for a road filled with Midgardians.

"Why, brother?" Thor yelled, his hand grabbing onto the car so he could keep flying. Loki wondered how Thor felt at the moment. Did he even realize how insulting he had sounded? Did he regret talking behind his back? Did he feel even an ounce of remorse?

"You know why, Thor. I am cold-hearted. A snake." Loki sneered the last few words out, his anger riling up when the look of recognition took over Thor.

"Brother-"

"No," Loki said, interrupting whatever feeble excuse Thor was coming up with. He summoned the energy of his seidr, the green smoke covering the entire car. With a last look at Thor's regretful face, he magicked himself to a different location. He had no idea where he was, but Thor wasn't around anymore. He looked around as he slowed the car, the tall snow-covered trees against the full moon sky allowing a sort of melancholy in the air. He noticed a few snowy hills, and how the temperature was even cooler than where he was just a few minutes ago. Loki breathed deeply, the cool, fresh air letting his muscles loosen up, his ever-buzzing mind stilling for a moment. He flinched when the screen on the console began to make an irritating ringing sound.

Loki pressed on the screen haphazardly, only to freeze up when he heard Tony's voice.

"What the fuck--"

"Let me speak to him," Thor's voice butted in, as grim as ever. Loki clenched the steering wheel harder. Thor did not have any right to be mad at Loki. He didn't.

"Brother?" Thor called, waiting for him to respond. Loki contemplated cancelling the call. As his hand hovered over the 'end' button, Thor's voice rang again.

"Loki, please don't end the call," it was as if Thor knew what Loki would do. When had he become so predictable? That's right. When he started to put down his guard around the other Avengers. But what did that get him? An accusation of betrayal.

"Come back, brother. What do you think you can accomplish by doing this?" Loki inhaled sharply, his shock making him slightly woozy. No apology. Thor knew exactly why Loki had fled. Yet, he did not have it in him to apologize.

"Answer the question, Reindeer Games. We can track you anyway. You either get back here of your own free will, or we come to find you and take you back as a prisoner. Your choice." Loki would have laughed at Tony's empty threat if he wasn't so mad at Thor. Stark was a terrible liar.

"You aren't tracking me, metal man," he said, surprised at how cool his voice sounded. "My seidr masks the radio waves. My location is well uncharted to your measly technology," he sneered, wishing he could see how Tony's face would have pinked in embarrassment.

"Loki," Thor chided again, almost hesitating. "Mother would be disappointed in you for running away," he whispered, and all the air left Loki's lungs. He could hear the rush of blood in his ears.

"How dare you," he spat, his voice a dark whisper. He hadn't sounded like this since New York. Since his mind was being controlled. "How dare you speak of Mother this way," he growled, his teeth gritting. His hands had gone cold. He stepped harder on the accelerator, not caring about the snow-covered bushes and muddy grass patches he was running the car into.

"Loki. Listen to-"

"Mother would be disappointed in you, Thor. Not me," he interrupted him again, pausing to swallow the large lump in his throat. "You're the one belittling—no, degrading his own brother. Not me." Loki's knuckles had started to turn white. He could barely see where he was going now. It seemed like a hill of sorts, but all there was were a few lone trees and a lot of green shrubs and grass.

“Guys.” Tony interrupted all of a sudden, “We need to calm down for a moment.”

“Stay out of it!” Loki snarled at Tony. He couldn’t understand Tony’s sudden urge to be the peacemaker when he was the one enabling it in the first place. Why was he suddenly so interested in mediating the situation?

“Just hear me out Loki, ok?” Tony’s change of mind and tone made Loki even warier. Stark wasn’t one to extinguish a fight, he was usually the one pouring gas into it so it could explode. The only feasible explanation Loki could think of was that Stark was getting nervous. Nervous about how the others Avengers and the general public would react once it came out that the Monster had escaped the tower. Tony surely tried to keep the damage as small as possible. And he surely wanted to try to stand in the best possible light once the news outlets got wind of it.

“Then go on, Stark,” Loki growled sharply. He had no interest in being painted as the uncooperative one who wouldn’t try to find an amicable solution to their dispute.

“We’re all at fault here.” Tony began sanctimoniously.

“Are we?” Loki scoffed sarcastically.

“My point is, maybe all of us should calm down first before we say something we cannot take back again, ok?” Tony took it as silent approval as neither of the gods answered, “How about Loki takes a few days off? I have some safe houses around town, some near the beach, some in the valley and even some in the mountains. I’ll send you the addresses and you can choose where you want to stay. As far as I know, you haven’t had a proper vacation since you joined us, have you?”

“And I won’t be generously “punished” when I decide to return?” Loki inquired, sneering out the sentence. He was sick of them. He was sick of how high they thought of themselves as if they had jurisdiction over what Loki’s abilities were.

“We will find a solution.” Tony deflected.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, did you? ...despite stealing my car.” Tony huffed annoyed.

“I borrowed it.” Loki retorted.

“Sure, call it what you like.” Tony began to grow impatient, “Do we have a deal now or not?”

Loki pondered over his options one last time before nodding.

“I’m okay with this.” he approved, “Under one condition.”

“And that is?”

“You will not contact me. Not at all. I will have my time to think about everything and I won’t be disturbed.” Loki demanded, “I have done nothing wrong in the entirety of my stay, quite the contrary. I deserve a basic sense of trust.”

“Tony, we can’t support such-” Thor tried to chime in.

“Okay, Reindeer Games. But you’ll promise to come back.” Tony agreed.

“Promise.” With that Loki hung up and slowed the car. He was getting exhausted using his seidr. He needed to conserve his energy. Just as his finger left the 'end call' button, he heard a rustle in the trees. His head snapped to the sound. He saw a flash of something - someone- wide eyes, irises illuminated by the car's headlights - and before he could comprehend what was happening, he had swerved his car right into the person, the car coming to a halt with screeching breaks just a little too late.

----

You had opened your eyes to a ceiling made of clay tiles. Your head was throbbing, your body aching from the hard ground you had been laid on. Where were you? Your surroundings were so dark, you had to squint to see around. Your blood ran cold when last night's events came rushing back to you.

You were just returning home late from work, shivering as the freezing air found its way under our thick coat. You had already walked more than half of your twenty-minute walk, your cheeks rosy from the cold when a stranger had asked for directions. A handsome man around your age with a dazzling smile on his face. He was charming, apologizing for his interruption of your stroll this late as he asked where to find the nearest pharmacy. He had a huge map in his hands, struggling to keep it upright as he motioned on the map. You joked with him about his ancient approach and asked if he didn’t own a smartphone, to which he simply shook his head apologetically.

“I’m Jack, by the way.” he had extended his hand for you to shake.

“Y/N.” you shook his hand hesitantly.

Despite the at-first queasy feeling in your stomach you decided to help him out. You had been raised to be polite, so it was the least you could do to help a stranger in despair. You studied his map, trying to locate where you were on the map. You scrunched your eyebrows in concentration… then in confusion. The map wasn’t from here but before you could open your mouth to inform him about it, he stepped uncomfortably close, his breath hitting your face. Your eyes wandered up from the map to his suddenly expressionless face. Your stomach dropped and you knew something was going on but before you could even pull out the pepper spray you carried with you for exactly a situation like this, something cold pressed against your ribs. Horrified you glanced down to see the dim light of the street lantern reflecting on the barrel of a gun.

"Make a squeak, and I shoot," he said, pressing the gun further into your coat.

"Move!" he snarled when you didn’t move, his eyes darted all around the streets, jittery; as if someone could catch him in the act even though the streets were empty.

"Okay, okay!" you shook yourself out of your frozen state, wobbly taking a few steps back, the gun never losing its pressure on your ribs.

"Turn around and get going," he barked, gesturing to a nearby van with his gun.

"What do you want from me?" you asked, tears welling up in your eyes. You cursed yourself for not trusting your intuition. You should’ve never stopped in the first place.

"Shut up!" he spat, his crazed gaze landing on you, “One more question, and you won’t ask another in your life.”

That was enough to let you know to shut up. The tears were falling free now. He grabbed the back of your collar and pressed the gun to your back. He pushed you out towards the car, his body covering your back when a car suddenly drove into the street.

"Wipe those fucking tears and look normal, girl, or you won't live to see another day," he whispered in your ear. Immediately palming your face haphazardly, you dried them. Pasting a smile on your face, you folded your arms against your chest and walked down the sidewalk. To the people in the car watching you, it would seem like you and your lover were heading somewhere, his embrace on you as protective as ever. They would probably 'aw' at you and wish they could have the same for themselves. But you knew better.

"Get in the car," he said, pushing you to it. The car had vanished into the next street, the road empty again, most of the lights in the flats turned off. No one to spot you. No one to ask for help. Hands shaking, you felt for the handle. You noticed how he was standing in the way of the door. Your heart welled up in hope when your brain sputtered out a plan - you could slam the door into him in the pretence of opening it and run away, as fast as possible. You snuck a glance at him, regarding that although he had his gun at you, he was still looking around in the same frazzled way. Now or never. You braced yourself before opening the door with force and slamming it into his torso. The gun fell out of his hand as he lost his balance. You didn't waste a moment. You took off immediately, darting around the other cars that were parked around. You didn't dare to look back. You heard a shot go behind you and cowered immediately, praying to whoever that this will be over soon. That you will be safe. Just as you turned around the sidewalk to head to your apartment, you crashed right into something. Someone. You fell on your backside, your eyesight going blurry for a second. You glanced up to see him again, gun pressing into your skull.

"Shortcut," he snickered triumphantly, "You can run from me but don’t think for a second you could escape.”

"What do you want from me?!” you sobbed loud, “I don’t even know you!”

"Shut up, bitch." he kicked you harshly into the side, the pain shooting into your side, robbing your air. Before you could say anything, he flipped the gun, bringing it down hard on the side of your head. All you saw next was darkness.

And then you woke up here. Gasping, you registered your surroundings - all walls, no windows. 1 door. Where was he? You ignored the pang of pain going up the side of your head as you turned around. You listened closely, trying to hear for his presence. Nothing. You were alone, in a dark empty place in the middle of nowhere.

Shuddering, you got up and reached the door. Before you could try to jimmy the door open, you heard his voice on the other side. Your whole being froze.

"Twenty grand," you heard him say, your heart in your throat. Had he heard you? Hands shaking, you inched closer, ear against the thin wood. "I won't take any less than that for the bitch, she's a real piece of work." Now that was rude. He didn’t even know you and all you had done was be kind to him. Granted, you had slammed the door into his face but solely out of self-defence.

Some rustling from the outside had you on guard again - you scurried away from the door, arming yourself with nothing but your fists. You waited. Nothing. Stepping towards the door again, you realized that the steps were fading away. He was going away from the cottage. Gasping in relief, you tried to swallow down the fresh tears from ebbing out. You needed a plan. Fast.

"Okay, I can do this. Think. Think," you whispered to yourself, wishing your head wouldn’t be throbbing as much as it did. A head injury was not something anyone should look forward to. You felt for the walls, realizing that they were made of bamboo wood. Patting around, you wondered if you could look for a weak spot in the wood, so you could kick your way out. You sank to the ground, pushing against the wood hurriedly. When your hand landed on one creaky piece, your hope skyrocketed. Maybe you could get out of this. You kicked against it, raising yourself to push it with your hand. Just as you got onto your knees and placed your hands on the wood, you slipped, nicking your palm against something sharp. You hissed, your other hand coming to nurse the wound immediately. It was something sharp... a nail. Perfect, you thought. Assuming the worst, you could at least protect yourself. You took off the fancy dress shirt you were wearing, thankful that you had worn jeans. You wrapped your injured hand with it and felt for the nail again. You held onto it tightly, the flimsy cloth giving you some sort of cushioning against the rusty nail. You tugged hard, your breathing coming in frenzied bursts. You froze immediately when you heard a rustle. Was he back?

Panicking, you shifted positions, using your feet to support you against the wall as you pulled. The rustling was getting closer. He was back. You tugged harder and harder, the repressed tears flowing free now, your wounds aching -

You fell back as the nail finally popped out. Scrambling, you hid against the wall adjacent to the door, positioning yourself to attack with the nail. Just as you forced yourself to collect your bearings, the door creaked open.

"Oh, sweetheart? You up yet?" he teased, his voice mocking as he approached your cowering form.

You lunged at him, your throat erupting in a broken war cry, impaling his shoulder. He roared in pain, his hand darting back to push you away. You reared back as all the air left your lungs. He fell to his knees, gasping, nursing his wound. You realized you had pulled the nail along with you when you lost balance. You pointed it at him and stood up, your legs shaking. You kicked him as hard as you could, eliciting a pained groan from him. He fell on his back, whimpering lightly. Still pointing the nail at him, you fumbled against the door, pushing it open and running out. You were finally free. All you had to do was find someone who could help you leave wherever you had been taken to.

As you stepped outside the cottage the merciless cold encircled you, your breath becoming visible in foggy puffs. Only now you realised that your coat was missing. You began to shiver as you hurried through the thick bushes, scrapping your arms at thorns. But there was no time of acknowledging everything that was hurting right now. You had to concentrate on running, it was vital.

After not even a few minutes of running, you heard him again. Your eyes widened as you crouched behind a tree, gasping for air. He was relentless. Couldn’t he just give up? Were you really that valuable? Sure, you made the perfect victim. Living alone in a big city, with no close friends or family around. Had that man spied on you? Studied your days and waited for the perfect moment to overpower you? You shuddered. You didn’t want to follow your line of thought further. At least not now.

Groaning, you hurried onwards, pushing yourself to run faster, worrying about how quickly the sky was darkening. You needed to find help, and fast.

You heard a sudden noise, a growl. You listened closer, hoping it wasn't a wild animal. Please don't make this worse, you prayed. You almost yelled in relief when you realized it was the rumbling sound of a car. You shot up, running towards the sound of tires against rough terrain.

"Oh, baby girl? Where are you? Get back here, you bitch!" you heard him yell, only leading you to pump your legs faster. Your hand was on fire, hurting from the cut you had gotten earlier. The blood pumping uncomfortably in your veins from running but you had no choice. You got to a pathway, dense trees suddenly clearing up, only short bushes and shrubs around you. You looked around, still listening to the car that was closing up on you. You waved at it, the headlights almost blinding you - but you could never be happier.

"Where are you, you little bitch?" your hunter growled.

Hurry, hurry. Please.

You glanced around, hoping he didn't spot you yet. You still listened as the rumbling got closer. The car was slowing down but not quickly enough. That's when you realized you had turned around to face the speeding vehicle too late. Before you could do anything, it ran right into you, the edge of the automobile pushing you off your feet, heaving all of the air right out of you. You gasped, your head once again throbbing from hitting the ground, hard. Your eyesight blurred, another lump forming in your throat. So this was the end. Just get it over with, you thought.

You shivered when you saw a silhouette above you, dark and tall. But it wasn't him. He was shorter, but this guy? His stance, the way he carried himself was itself different. It radiated power. Not the kind that forced people to cover, but the kind of power you would want to respect.

"Help," you gasped quietly, your eyesight swimming. You could barely see anything now. All that you could register in your mind was the darkness that was taking over it.

---

“Oh, dear. Oh, Hel. Please don't be dead. Not another one on my conscience.” Loki kneeled next to you, his hands shaking. “Please, please, please.” He placed his fingers on your neck, exhaling in relief when he felt a faint heartbeat.

'Help,' you had whispered to him. His eyes scanned your face, only now registering the gash on your head. As he observed your apparent lifeless form further, he noticed your unsuitable clothing for this season. What had happened to you?

He seemed to set himself on a decision. Thor really thought his own brother would be cold-blooded? No, Loki was far from that. He was going to help you.

His hand moved to the wound as he shut his eyes. Just as he summoned some of his green energy, he heard... a gunshot. Loki's eyes shot open, immediately scanning his surroundings. You had said, 'help'. Was it because someone was chasing you? Loki pondered over that for a moment before another gunshot went off. He scrambled to his feet quickly and gathered your limp body into his arms, gently placing you on the back seat of his car. He was not going to let anything hurt you.

"Where the fuck are you, you whore?" a voice called out, as menacing as ever.

Aha, so there was the 'someone' you were running from. You were just a random Midgardian - Loki didn't know you. But when someone referred to you in such a derogatory way, he couldn't help his anger from riling up. He would have gone after the man, but he had more pressing issues at the moment. He had to take you to a place where he could help you without any disturbances.

link to part 2

#loki x reader #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki friggason #loki and thor #loki imagine #loki marvel #marvel #loki of asgard #marvel loki #mcu #mcu fanfiction #loki of jotunheim #loki x you #loki x y/n

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e77y · 8 days

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Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

#vent #cw vent #rant #delete later #<- like tomorrow morning I’m shre #usually I delete stuff like this immediately but I’ll try to keep it up #was talking to my mom earlier about OCD and intrusive thoughts and whatnot….#she definitely has it too. like undoubtedly #her intrusive thoughts and compulsions sounded exactly like mine #which sucks for me bc my dad ALSO definitely has OCD (in a more outwardly recognizable way) so! wahoo! double whammy #just feeling kinda defeated about mental health stuff #I feel like it’s never gonna get better #I need to go to therapy or a psychiatrist or SOMETHING #it’s been like 4 years now since I was originally supposed to go lol #and I keep putting it off out of fear (I think)#my friends (irls) have all been getting diagnoses and prescriptions lately #which is exciting for them but :( idk. I feel like there’s no way to medicate whatever I’ve got going on except SSRIs????#and I don’t really want that #mostly though I’m just scared of going back to therapy or to a psychiatrist bc I think they’ll think I’m lying or crazy or whatever #which sounds stupid when I write it out but idk #I should probably keep a journal but when I’m only writing for my own eyes I just kinda wallow in it and write concerning poetry lol #I like journaling in a way other people can see (even if y’all DON’T like seeing it lmaoooo) bc it makes it feel more real?#and out of my head.. concrete etc.#wackyposting #<- seriously need to change that tag still lol

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marengogo · 9 months

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hi!!

i have some questions regarding the cake issue, i'd ask chikooritajjk, but i'm honestly terrified of them 😞

did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?

ik jin got one for 'astronaut' and jk got one for both 'dreamers' + 'seven', but those are both singles...

so imo it's a little weird that the company would get tae a cake for a 'love me again' and 'rainy days' and not just wait for his album

also i saw them talking about wasting cake, but isn't there a thing where they can have the bakery frost styrofoam so it'll look like a cake? plus the members are given cakes on their birthday and sometimes they don't eat them...

don't want to cause issues btw! if jimin really didn't want a cake, i'm fine with it bc that's his choice, i'm just confused about some things

if you don't feel like answering, you don't have to!

ik you (and other bloggers) are not chikooritajjk's mail box and if i was able to come off anon without causing myself a anxiety attack 🙃, i would definitely just ask them directly! but i also like your thoughts and opinions as well on bts and jikook related things 😊

sorry for bothering you 💜

so i see my ask was taken the wrong way 😞 just want to clear up a few things i don't hate chikooritajjk, i honestly think they're lovely and are very helpful with explaining things (streaming, bts, jikook, queer topics ect), so it does make me sad that it came across that way i'm scared of them bc i have social anxiety and really want to talk to them about things they discuss (i know, it's a me problem, got that 🫡) and trust me, it took a lot to even send that ask bc ik people don't always like answering asks concerning other bloggers wasn't trying to sabotage your friendship with them either, i follow both your blogs and love BOTH OF YOUR POSTS i sent the cake ask bc i'm genuinely confused and had some questions, and like i said ik it was more so an ask for chikooritajjk, but you have been interacting their posts and agreeing with them and i also wanted to hear YOUR OWN thoughts on it i don't mind being corrected or told i'm wrong btw, as long as someone isn't rude or disrespectful (which neither you or chikooritajjk have been btw!!) i do fear that this interaction has only reinforced my issues with interacting off anon with jkkrs though, after this i'll leave you both alone (won't send anymore asks), as that is probably you want so sorry for bothering you both, i truly did not mean to cause any discomfort or issues with my ask and probably this one.... hope you both are doing well and can't wait for more of your insightful posts! — a lost anon

Hello 🎂-Anon,

Hope you don’t mind me calling you like this, if you do please let me know.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to tackle your Ask as I think I’ve kinda already addressed your second ask in my post this morning. See, the thing is, whoever “baked” this particular conspiracy was so successful that many are now really so convinced that the absence of said eggs, flour & milk are actually a substantial part of a lot of the evil surrounding JM.

But let me start with the easy part of the Ask. “did the other members get a cake for a pre release track?” Namjoon didn’t get a single slice of cake from Hybe, be it pre-release or release don't worry about what the tweet says, just want you to check out the type of cakes Joonie received, if you are interested!:

Two of the cakes were given to him by separate groups of his own friends and one was sent to him by the production team of “The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge”.

Now, to get back to the “source of evil” topic, it is very much an issue with the way that Chapter 2 is unfolding. It’s not about eggs, flour & milk, but about the people who found a way to make you believe that eggs, flour & milk are part of the problem. It’s about not being aware of what kind of space your SM environment might have turned into, such as not knowing that Namjoon also didn’t receive a cake, because the same people who are guiding your perception are also, shaping your environment and trying to create narratives that heavily aid in hindering the gravity of real issues that the boys might be facing.

So please, if you can, forget about the cake 🎂-Anon! It’s not about wastage or the performative act, or whatever. Did JM want cake from HYBE specifically? Unless he tells us, we can’t know, I mean if you ask me, he seems to have planned his FACE WEVERSE live to a T, I really don’t think he wanted any. Anyways, what we do now know though, thanks to Tae, is that there is a high possibility he might have not wanted it. Same as Joon.

The mishandling of Chapter 2 is so Ugh! Quite literally it is as if Pandora’s Box was opened and all sorts of shit just came rushing out 😩😩😩. BUT I will address all of these in the post I mentioned that I am working on, so for now, If I could please ask you to take a second and think about the boys real quick. MEGA-Celebrities who have been in the game for 10 years (without counting pre-debut) and not only that, they are part of the biggest group on this planet, they are BIG-big, with big money, and big problems … do you see them losing sleep over eggs, flour & milk?

Should we be?

Hope this answers your question and I really do hope you’ll be looking forward to my post, cause, ONCE AGAIN, I REALLY CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH: There is soooooo much in Chapter 2 that needs to be address for-real-real 🤡.

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

#Of Eggs Flour & Milk #It Is Hella Dangerous In Some of the Woods Out There

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gullinbusti · 4 months

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I hope one day you learn kindness and a sense of empathy. You're a kid, but it's evident you refuse to learn from your mistakes - instead just flipping them around to seem like the other person's problem.

I don't think you can even pull the young card, because while everyone matures at a different pace you've been cut slack for that exact reason countless times.

This behavior will not get you far in life, but giving thought into how you make other people feel /will/.

The people who dislike you aren't trolls out on a witchhunt for you, they're people you've upset in someway. Instead of taking that information and seeing what you can do to improve yourself, you run away to a new account where you do not leave these people alone. You're doing the thing they do not want you to do, of course they will dislike you. Hell I'd say you're doing what you don't want /them/ to do to you, and doesn't that give some perspective?

Yeah I've made mistakes, I can be very rude and mean at times with or without knowing it. All honesty mate yeah I hurt those artists in some way, but just to be clear I move accounts to accounts cause of this shat and the fact people won't leave me alone about this when ik what I did, most people still rub this in my face like Doo Doo crap both from the past and now when I know what I did was wrong and in all honesty whenever people do that ik what their saying is true, but sometimes I feel like your just trying to make me feel bad then I already am. (like c'mon ik what I'm doing ik what I'm saying don't repeat me) and we still going on with this. If you don't want me to follow you again do or say the magic word and I won't? And right now on this account, I don't think I've bothered anyone right now, but if I am cause I dead ass literally just liked their post and gave them a compliment and that annoys them cause I said it all they need to do is just simply press the block/mute part. And who knows maybe your right maybe I am running away from my mistakes but I do see them and how they felt towards people, and I fuc- fricken am working on that, people will remember the things I've done but you've also gotta remember that was a long time ago both in my younger years and probably months/weeks ago or last year, idc if you get mad at this part it's just facts and that deed is over so stop bringing it up when that happened centuries ago.

Yeah I do see my mistakes and how they effect people, I see how people still react when I comment on their art posts even if it's a nice comment, even if it's a question I politely ask only for it to not be answered cause the question came from me because of what I've done to them/others, but honestly it's ridiculous, yeah I've been rude to you once or twice with or without knowing it, I have been brutally honest to you about your art cause I'm not the type to lie, and yeah Ik how rude I can get when I'm angry with people. (If your an og follower of mine you would know how I react when people think I'm being rude even though most times I'm just being very honest or I said something they didn't get) and what still gets me is the fact most of those artists (I've said this so many times) have came up with assumptions and think I'm weirdo and not talk to me because of that when they never knew the full picture (don't you dare do that when you know nothing of the sort. Ever, to anyone of the sort. Especially me, cause I won't take to kindly about it. Your an adult, a legit young adult, you can be mature enough to hear people out before making the story in your own head. Doogie (translate to idiot)

Now listen. I can promise I can control the things I say on here and do, I can promise I won't use it in the dumbest slightest reasons, but I will also promise that I will use it if necessary or if you need to just hear the damn truth. And I'm dead set.

Sorry if you get upset at that part, but sometimes you just gotta hear what I have to say about you and your actions towards me (did). idc if you cry or get angry at me because of this **boohoo**. I will use this attitude towards you if I have a reason or cause you need to hear it. And i have a lot of reasons right now to use it on those types of artists.

But again. That happened a long time ago, and like I said many times. It is now in the past, yeah ik what I did, They were Rude, Offensive, Disrespectful, and Disappointing things to hear from me. (And in most cases I'm not even being rude to you, I'm just being the most brutal honest person you can meet, I will not lie to you I will tell you the truth that will get you effed off and I'm sorry if you can't handle my honest reactions or opinions) I am improving myself, and I'm not saying I'm going too far with my jokes because literally other people do the same and you don't tell them off but me😬 ik the jokes are offensive, but I obviously don't mean them, no one here gets them and that's fine, so I am trying and doing the best not to go overboard cause ik you guys won't take it as that like me or others like me.

I also like to mention like I said about the "run away to a new accounts" thing, I'm not pointing you out I'm saying this to others, but it's honestly a dog move of you to tell my guests (new followers) the past things I've done and said, I will tell them myself that when I get the chance when when they need to know, I don't remember giving anyone the right to tell my new followers/fans about this to tell them/show them that because that's my business to tell, not yours.

If you want to still talk to me about this stuff still. Don't send a ask, say it to me in DMS personally. If you wanna go on that path still. My guests will obviously have the right to know about this, but no one has my right to say it out loud for them only me cause it's my business to tell. (My guests if your still curious go look at my @8orisporkfolio and @bearlypigest to see what has been happening lately and if not I will explain soon eventually just don't come up with assumptions without hearing the full story just yet)

Look man. The things I've done and said are very not "out there" or "welcoming" things I've done, but it's honestly just something you need to just let go of now (i'm not using the excuse of me going "cause I'm still young" anymore cause I'm sorta mature enough to understand this now) you don't have to forget it, but it's better to maybe forgive me for it cause I've already apologized about it and I'm already working on not doing that stuff to you or others anymore, that's not a good excuse but that's that. I've already forgiven those that STILL Know nothing about the things they had assumptions about. They didn't ask for my forgiveness but forgiving people is more better then hating them for your whole life because they made one or a lot of mistakes. Like this one,at this point. I do want you to forgive me not because I want want you to but because it's better then just hating me for that long without knowing anything or even getting to know the real me first yk? I really am a kind person once you earn my trust or just spend more time with me and get to know me better I'm not originally a rude or mean person

Again. this is your choice, I think this is better, you do not have to talk to me but forgiving me is better then just hating for this when you don't fully know everything, but again. If you want to be this way that is fine with me I'm not angry or disappointed because of that cause that's your personality or whatever, I'm just saying this is a better way to deal with the situation rather then just reminding me of my mistakes over and over when I already know what I did was wrong and you just build up more guilt inside of me, this is your choice I'm not forcing anyone I just think this is better.

But again. Just stop with this. Ik what I'm doing, what I'm saying, and how it effects people. Do not keep bringing this up at random occasions those artists don't really know much about the full picture to they can't say much without knowing.

Hell if your ass keeps doing this just ask me and I'll tell you the full picture (bloody dm me next time to) is it that hard to FRICKEN ASK ME THE FULL STORY IM NOT GONNA FRICKEN BIT YOU THE FRICK BRO

But yeah this is the last time I'm apologizing, I'm sorry for what I did, I think forgiving me and just leaving this behind is better, but that's your choice if you want to have an excuse to hate me without knowing me or the story for your whole life, I'm not mad or forcing you to, I'm just saying it's a good idea rather then this, your choice. It's not worth if you think deep about it, and if you don't think of it and have this as an excuse to hate me still and not get to know me personally or the full story for the rest of your life as I'm still walking on this earth.

Your not cool buddy just drop it💘

#ponchos.txt #hope this knocks something in you and if not then why are you still talking about this #man that was the most realest one ive said yet

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taeghi · 3 months

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when will people realize that blogs dont always have to be sunshine and rainbows 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ i do see what they mean but they dont gotta say anything about it. its not like youre being rude or mean? if they dont like the way you respond then they should leave 💀

i'm truly sorry if i've ever come across wrongly. it's important to me that my tumblr is a welcoming space for everyone, so if i've ever given anyone the impression that i'm cold, mean or 'trying to be cool', then i deeply apologize. ik i'm just a person behind a computer screen like everything i write isn't gonna come across the way i wish to portray it in a sentence i type to another person that idk.

anyways if people think i come across as cold or trying to be cool or whatever else i'm sorry. i don't try to 'be cool' like the previous anon said. i am grateful and appreciative to everyone who likes, comments, reblogs or sends me messages.

i'm not sure what could make me come across as "cold". i mean it when i say thank you and that i love the person that has took their own time to compliment my works.

i come on tumblr as much as i can and i try to show how grateful i am to my followers as much as i can. and i know that i am not posting fics as much as i wish to. but i am just a person. idk what else i can do.

so again, thank you to everyone who reblogs, likes, comments and messages me about my fics. i do appreciate everyone that interacts with my works and that follows me. i know some of you have been following me since i started this blog in 2020 and have put up with my inconsistent posting. i wish that i could tell you all to ur faces and hug all of you.

i'm sorry if i've ever came off as cold, mean, or like im trying to be cool or anything similar to that. moving forward, i will make more of an effort to be mindful of how my writing may be taken by others.

#sorry

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teddy06writes · 3 years

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could we have more sapnap x karl x quackity x reader maybe about how reader joins, or how the relationship is revealed, or angst, also is there a reason that anon asks are turned off? i mean it might just be me also cause i cant switch to anon, ik that hairbrush anon loves this blog and wants to request but they cant cause anon is turned off, (i know hairbrush anon irl so thats how ik this for some background context) sorry if this is rude

anon: “ Your karlnapity fanfics are sooooo good. I was wondering if you could make another one, it could be about literally anything and I’ll read it. Keep up the great work! “

sapnap x karl x quackity x reader

trigger warnings: swearing, mentions of panic attacks

premise: how you joined the Karlnapity poly cue

{also the anon thing was fixed once I got this ask}

“belp” talking

‘blep’ texting

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn’t meet them intentionally, far from, actually, you had only met Alex, the first of the boys you’d met, by pure chance.

Well, pure chance, and an asshole who didn’t look where he was going outside A hall.

You had just emerged from your first class of the year, a debate class, with maybe 50 students total, and were immediately slammed into by some jerk who didn’t even stop at first.

You had fallen into someone, who after making sure you were stood up right began to cuss the guy out in Spanish.

“You got something to say to me, dick?” The guy had asked as he turned around.

“Yeah bitch! Why the hell did you push them?”

If you thought this dudes 5′ 9′’ ass wasn’t gonna square up to a huge football player you’d’ve been wrong.

“They were the one who didn’t fucking move, so don’t fucking start with me!”

“Bro you literally slammed into them! You could’ve fucking moved man!” He shoved the guys shoulder, “You didn’t have to take the asshole route, yet we’re still here.”

“Listen Dick, I don’t give a shit, they were in the fucking way.”

“Man your really looking for a fucking fight are you?” He shrugged off his back pack and let it drop to the ground.

The guys laughed, pushing up his sleeves, “I could take your scrawny ass any day, chicca.”

Before he had a chance to blink a fist had been launched toward his face, catching him right in the jaw.

He stumbled back, looking almost as surprised as the guy you’d tripped into, who was looking down at his own fist, clearly in pain.

“Oh you little bitch!” The jock growled, moving to punch him back.

Quickly you scooped up his bag, shoving it into his arms, “We gotta go!!” You shoved the guy, grabbing your saviors hand and tugging him along as you started to run.

As you dodged around campus, trying to lose the yell of the jock behind you the guy who you’d dragged with, offered, “I’m Alex.”

“(y/n),” You slowed to a stop, “I think we lost him.”

Alex nodded, wincing as he examined his knuckles.

You took his hand, checking over it carefully, “It’ll bruise hard, you might not have full dexterity for a while. That’s what you get for punching someone without preparing,” You chuckled, glancing around, “My dorm’s not more than five minutes away, if you don’t have another class to get too, we can go get you some ice.”

“That’d be good.” He winced.

After taking him back to your dorm and getting his hand iced, he disappeared, saying he was late to meet someone, and you rarely saw him again except for your debate class, where you hardly spoke.

~~ You’d met Nick not too long after, though this time, pure chance was more purely your friend George catching you sneaking out of a party you didn’t want to be at.

“Seriously (y/n)? It’s barley even been an hour!” The brit yelled.

“It’s way too loud in there,” You hissed, motioning to the frat house, “I can’t hardly think, let alone stand it.”

“George! Get back in here! Clay challenged someone to a drinking contest and it about to start!” Someone yelled from the house.

“Yeah, in a second Sapnap!” He called before turning back to you, “Stay a little while longer?”

“I don’t want to be here.” You growled, but he was already dragging you back towards the house, saying:

“Come on, it’ll be entertaining if he wins and if not, well, it’ll still be pretty funny.”

Sighing, you allowed yourself to be pulled back inside, following George through to where Clay stood across a counter from a curly dark haired man, and Niki, a woman you’d met a few weeks prior, quietly pouring shots.

“Now the only reason I’m letting you do this Wil, is cause I know you won’t be able to do more than three.” She muttered, sliding the shots between them.

George laughed, “This is gonna be great!”

You sighed, moving to stand back against one of the walls, next to a dirty blonde man, who said, “You don’t look to happy to be here.”

“Not a fan of the noise.” You muttered, rubbing at your forehead.

He nodded, “Makes sense, one of my boyfriends doesn’t like the noise either. I’m Nick.”

“Didn’t George just call you Sapnap? What is with people around here and having weird nicknames?” You shook your head with another sigh, “I’m (y/n).”

“I dunno. Half the people I know at this school have weird nicknames,” He began to point at various people around the room, “Dream, Fundy, Skeppy, Hbomb, Quackity’s around here somewhere. Hell I even know someone who calls himself ‘Technoblade’.”

“Sounds like a prick.” You chuckled.

Nick nodded, “Oh he is.”

You continued to talk for a while, watching as Wilbur tried to out drink Clay, and failing miserably not to laugh when he nearly fell down, totally wasted.

“Hey, uh I think we should head out. I feel bad leaving Kar...” Alex trailed off as he realized you were standing with Nick, “Hey, your uh, (y/n) right?”

“Yeah, Alex, you almost busted your knuckles trying to fight McAllen outside debate with Fenner.” You chuckled.

Nick turned to Alex, “You what?!”

“uhh...” he stuttered nervously.

“You told Karl you fell!”

“In my defense he pushed- no not even- he slammed into (y/n)!” Alex said desperately.

“He did, Alex was just defending me,” Alex grinned at your addition, “But...” his face fell, “This one also is essentially just an angry chihuahua.”

“Dude!”

Nick chuckled, “Their right. You are an angry chihuahua.”

Alex rolled his eyes, glancing at his phone, “We should go, Karl’s texting me angry emojis.”

Nick nodded, “It was nice to meet you (y/n).”

“You too.” You smiled, and then they were gone again.

You didn’t meet Karl for almost a month after that, only encountering the man in the colorful sweater when you had been left sitting alone in the dining hall, after a late night study session.

Niki had left a few minutes earlier, but it was long enough that he’d assumed you’d been sitting alone.

“Oh hey, sorry I’m late!” He had called, just a hair too loud.

You blinked up at the mousy haired boy, confused for a moment, before motioning for him to sit down, “It’s okay.”

The few people still left in the hall barley paid attention, so you stifled a laugh, “I wasn’t waiting for someone, my friend just left actually.”

His face got red, “Oh, I- sorry- I’ll just leave then.”

He started to stand up but you held out a hand, “No- uh- you, can stay. I don’t mind.”

He grinned, “I’m Karl! Karl Jacobs!”

“I’m (y/n). Thank you for trying to save me from mild embarrassment.”

“It was nothin, just don’t think people should have to be alone.”

You giggled, “Knight in shining armor.”

That made Karl grin even more, giggling a bit as he asked, “Whatcha working on?”

“Oh, Niki and I were just studying for finals, it may be a few weeks away but I want to be ready.” You chuckled.

“Man, I’m glad I’m only taking one class this semester.”

“Lucky.” You sighed, tucking the last of your papers into folders and stowing them away in your bag, “No late night cram sessions for you then.”

“Nah, my boyfriends’ll rope me into helping them study.”

“Thats the price you pay.” You chuckled.

He nodded solemnly, “A price I am very willing to pay.”

“They sound like lucky guys.” You smiled wistfully, quietly wondering why all the cute guys you’d been meeting were dating, either other people, or each other.

Karl not noticing the almost bitterness in your voice chirped, “Yup!”

“Come on! They’d love you!” Karl exclaimed.

You’d been becoming friends with Karl over the last few months, and now he was begging you to go and meet his partners.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah!” Karl was practically bouncing up and down, “Your like the best! I want my boys to meet you!”

You groaned, letting your head fall into your hands, “Fine.”

“Yay!” Karl giggled, tugging at your wrist, “Come on!”

You looked up from the table at him. “Right now?”

“Yeah, I was suppose to be meeting them at the library.”

Sighing you stood up, “I hate this.”

He smiled sympathetically, “Sorry.”

You slipped your bag over your shoulder, and followed him out of the dining hall towards the library, trying to ignore the stupid feeling in your stomach at his hand in yours.

Upon reaching the library Karl excitedly dragged you over to a table in the corner where your stomach dropped upon seeing who was sitting there.

“(y/n)?” Alex asked.

You chuckled, “Snapmap and Chihuahua boy, I didn’t realize this Karl was your Karl.”

Karl looked confused, looking back and forth between you and his boyfriends, “You guys know each other?”

“That one talked to me at a party when my friends all but ditched me,” You pointed at Nick, and then too Alex, “That one tried to fight someone who bumped into me.”

“Thats- you know what, I’m not gonna ask.” Karl said, plopping down next to Alex.

You sat down on the opposite side of the table next to Nick, “Karl you text in angry emojis?”

Over the next few weeks Karl continued to drag you along to various study sessions, movie nights and other things you assumed would normally just be the three of them, making you confused heart even more confused.

It was strange that they willingly let you intrude on there dates, and any time you tried to bring it up with Karl he’d just brush it off, and if you mentioned it to Nick or Alex, they’d say something about how they were good with it cause Karl was.

And then one night, you were all piled up on the fire escape of the boys apartment building, Alex had just gotten back from a seminar, and was half curled on Nick’s lap, legs stretch across Karl, who was also leaning against Nick.

You quietly hummed a song you heard Wilbur playing, freezing as Karl tugged on your hand, pulling you closer to lean on him, Nick’s arm stretching just a bit farther to wrap around your waist as well, almost cementing you into the moment.

“I like this.” Karl murmured.

Alex nodded sleepily, and Nick looked at your over Karl’s head, “(y/n), uh- I guess we’ve been meaning to- uh- to ask-”

“He means, do- do you want to join this relationship?” Alex asked, cutting him off.

You blinked, surprised, and Karl quickly started talking in your silence, “You don’t have too, we just figured, you know, we, really like, you and- it- we think you like us-”

Cutting him off, you grabbed the sides of his face, quickly pressing your lips to his, and then pulling away, you leaned over to kiss Nick, and then Alex.

“I knew there was a reason you kept letting me in on your dates!”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #sapnap x reader #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #sapnap x karl x quackity x reader #karlnapity #karlnapity x reader #teddy06 writes

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littlemissnoname13 · 3 years

Text

Wisps of Smoke (Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!reader) - Part 5

Summary: y/n and Draco find themselves drawn to an abandoned classroom every night

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader ft. Theo Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini

Warnings: Excessive smoking, mature language and themes, smut labeled as ⚜️, 18+ content, reader discretion is advised, also Draco is kinda soft in this one. Just sayin.

A/n: Ik this was supposed to be the final part but I wanted to wrap things up properly. The last part will be dedicated to the ball itself.

A massive thank you to everyone that has read WOS. Your feedback makes me so fkn happy. I love you all sm.

Word count: 3700

Link to Part one, two, three, and four if you haven’t read them already.

My other stories are over here. And you can join my tag list here.

As always, Smoking is injurious to health y’all.

24th December

Home was just the way you’d remembered it.

From the Goldchild Ivy covering the white colored walls and the stepping stones leading all the way to the main entrance to the way your parents kept nagging you about your “future” with Adrian Pucey.

“You still haven’t told me what kind of dress you’d like to wear to the ball.” Your mum reminded you after taking a small sip from her wine glass.

“I don’t know mother.” You sighed,stabbing repeatedly at the sautéed mushroom on your plate. “Can’t I wear something I already own? Like the blue one I wore last year.”

“Well, what is Adrian wearing? May I suggest some colour coordinating?”

“I really don’t know mother.” You coughed.

“Well, why don't you ask him?”

“I can't.” You mumbled dropping your fork on your plate. The loud clanging sound earned you an eyebrow raise from your otherwise quiet father.

“Why not?”

“We broke—we aren’t seeing each other anymore.” You said quietly before quickly standing up and dismissing yourself from the dining table before your parents could ask you a thousand questions.

As you walked away from the table and towards the balcony, you could still hear your parents calling after you while simultaneously speculating about just what you may have done to scare Adrian away.

You weren’t going to tell them about Draco because you weren’t even sure what to tell them.

I broke up with Adrian because I’m sleeping with Draco Malfoy.

Yes, the one that is getting engaged soon.

No we’re not together.

I may or may not have developed feelings for him.

Yes, it is inconvenient because I have no idea how he feels.

Did I mention he is getting engaged?

You tugged on the sleeves of your sweater to warm your hands up as you stared up at the surprisingly clear night sky splattered with only a few clouds and shimmering stars.

You took it upon yourself to start counting the stars to distract yourself from thinking about Draco again.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was standing on the balcony of his room trying not to think of you too.

The only difference for him was that the sky was a little less cloudy where he lived and he wasn’t going to bother counting stars.

“Happy Christmas Draco.” You whispered to yourself,staring at the shiny emerald ring on your finger.

“Happy Christmas Y/n.” Draco mumbled into the night air as he fidgeted with your amethyst ring.

~~~~~~~~~~

25th December

It was a surprisingly quiet Christmas Morning at the Y/l/n household.

Your parents were still fast asleep when you walked towards the kitchen to fix yourself a cup of coffee.

It was probably because your parents hadn’t quite processed your break up with Adrian and had spent their night discussing it.

Seeing it was Christmas, you decided to put a dash of white chocolate and whipped cream in your cup of caffeinated goodness in order to feel a bit more festive.

You were feeling anything but festive.

There was a kind of dread crushing your insides when you thought about the ball.

You’d have to watch him dance with her and kiss her lips at midnight.

Fuck, you’d have to congratulate him after he slipped a ring onto her perfectly manicured finger.

Just when you were about to take a sip of your drink, you heard a knock on your door.

You frowned and walked towards the door because it was way too early on in the morning for anyone to come over.

When you yanked the door open, you saw him of all people, standing on the other side of the door with his white blond hair messier than usual.

He was wearing one of his rare genuine smiles that showed his pearly whites making you feel wobbly in the knees.

“Draco—What are you doing here?”

“Happy Christmas to you too.” He said with the smile still fixed on his lips. “Tell me y/l/n is this how you greet all of your houseguests?”

“How rude of me.” You muttered to yourself still befuddled as you stepped back to let him in. “Come in, sit down. Cup of tea?”

“I’m actually in a bit of a hurry.” He said as he fidgeted with his blazer pocket. “Just came to drop off something—ugh hold this.”

He placed a pack of cigarettes in the palm of your hand before fumbling with his pocket again.

“Ahh. There we go.” He retrieved a lilac colored box from his pocket and brought it back to its normal size before handing it to you.

“What’s this?”

“What does it look like y/n?”

“But—But I haven't even gotten you anythi—”

Before you could finish your sentence, he leaned in, tenderly pressing lips against yours.

The softness of his lips made the heaviness you were feeling on your shoulders fade away as you faded into him—only him and the way he held you firmly around the waist as he suckled on your bottom lip.

“Thank you.” You whispered burying your face into his chest, trying to inhale a scent of his cologne. “Thank you.”

When Draco left, you ran up to your room and opened the lilac box to find a blush coloured slip dress folded neatly with a note on top of it written in his neat handwriting.

~~~~

Dear Y/n

I really am sorry about what happened to your old silk dress but I just couldn’t help myself.

I hope you’ll understand.

I also hope I get to see you wear this one someday.

Yours,

D.L.M

~~~~~~~~~~~

26 December

The day after Christmas, the boys decided to do a little cleanup.

Quidditch and house memorabilia, novelty artefacts they no longer cared enough for and items of emotional value.

The boys wanted a fresh start.

A clean break.

A clean slate.

Theo and Blaise were done with their cleaning so they were now at the Manor helping Draco who was surprisingly not very convinced about the whole “fresh start” ordeal.

“Remember this?” Theo chuckled, clearing out all the books that covered Draco’s desk and using his wand to cast a quick spell that revealed carvings they’d made the summer before their second year.

“Oh?” Blaise gleefully raised his eyebrows walking towards Theo. “I’d forgotten about this.”

Draco rolled his eyes and followed Blaise and the three boys stood around the table reading out everything they’d managed to carve out.

There were some very unholy words, tally sticks and unfortunate looking doodles of Harry on the table.

“Theodore Nott was here.” Draco read out loud looking unimpressed.

“Read this one.” Theo chuckled pointing at a carving. “Daphne Greengrass + Blaise Zabini.”

“Hey! We were barely second years.” Blaise protested while his eyes kept scanning the table.

As Blaise’s vigilant eyes trailed to the farthest corner of the table, a wicked grin started to form across his cheeks making Draco’s face turn pale.

“Y/n Y/l/n.” Blaise read out loud smirking at Draco. “Well well Malfoy—From the second year?...Interesting.”

“It was always obvious even though he expressed himself in questionable ways.” Theo shrugged.

“What was obvious?” Draco quirked an eyebrow with a scowl on his face.

“The fact that you were and are absolutely enamoured with y/n.” Theo rolled his eyes. “It has always been obvious to everyone but you. Back me up here Zabini.”

Draco crossed his arms and looked at Blaise who just gave him an apologetic shrug. “I’m sorry but he’s right mate.”

“I am not enamoured with y/n.”

“If you say so.” Blaise shrugged.

“And what if I were?” Draco spat, clearly irked by the condescending look on Blaise’s face.

“If you are, then I only have one question for you.” Blaise said with carefully selected words.

“And the question is?”

Blaise went quiet for a brief second before looking at Draco, dead set in the eye.

“What is holding you back, Malfoy?”

~~~~~~~~~~

27th December

Draco wondered what life decisions he’d taken to find himself seated at a murky little pub with Astoria reclining against his shoulders—sipping on Butterbeer.

Pansy, Theo and Blaise were taking shots next to him and you were awkwardly seated right across the table next to Adrian fucking Pucey.

What was he doing here anyway? Who even invited him?

Even though he’d overheard you telling Pansy that Adrian was there only because of your parents nagging you, seeing you seated together bothered him nonetheless.

Draco wasn’t even meaning to eavesdrop on your conversation with Adrian but he just couldn’t help but divert all his attention to your sweet voice and the way your lips moved.

You were telling Adrian about the sweet shop next door and Draco’s lips involuntarily twitched and curved upwards when he noticed just how excited you were about sweets.

It was like you softened him—made him vulnerable. And the whole feeling terrified him.

Between smoking his fifth cigarette, occasionally chatting with Astoria and looking at you from the corner of his eye, one rather simple thought encircled Draco’s mind.

Why didn’t he knock Pucey off his broom when he had the chance to?

~~~~~~~~~

28th December

Lightning crashed. Thunder clapped.

Fat drops of rain started to fall on the enormous glass window in Draco’s bedroom.

You placed your finger on the glass as you watched the infinite droplets race all the way to the bottom of the window.

The howling winds brought in the scent of wet grass and sent the dark curtains flying in all different directions.

You took in the smell of fresh rain and sighed sinking blissfully into his embrace.

Lucius and Narcissa were away, preparing for the upcoming ball and Draco had owled you asking to meet.

And so, both of you were now sitting on the windowsill in his room that was much larger than the one in the abandoned classroom.

In fact, it was so spacious that it served as his own personal reading nook—complete with a velvety throw blanket and some cushions.

His hands held open a book and you let yourself get comfortable between his long limbs, still counting raindrops on the window.

“What are you doing?” He asked looking towards you and away from the worn out pages of his book.

“I’m watching the raindrops race each other.” You said with your eyes still fixed on the glass. “infinite little droplets.”

“It's just rain.” He shrugged as his eyes went back to his book. “Quite mundane if you ask me.”

Sure rain was mundane.

But this rain felt different. It sent you into a state of melancholia.

You couldn’t dare to tell him but those infinite droplets resembled the amount of times you’d wanted to tell him that you loved him.

Even though you couldn’t find the courage to tell him, it was like the look in your eyes gave it all away.

It made his features soften as he slowly shifted and got up from the nook to fully open the window.

You shielded yourself as cold drops of rain started to hit your face. “What in the actual fuck?”

“Shut up and follow me.” He said as he climbed out of the window and onto the ledge.

“Are you mental?”

“Just do as I say.” He said helping you onto the ledge.

Both of you laughed hysterically as the rain seeped through your clothes as you sat on the ledge with your bare feet dangling in the air.

One wrong move and both of you could fall to our deaths. But there came an adrenaline rush with the risk of it all.

He pushed away the hair sticking to your face and brought your face close to his before pressing his rain soaked lips to yours.

Theo was right.

He was fucking enamoured.

~~~~~~⚜️~~~~~~~~

After coming back inside, you walked into his ensuite to fix your ruined hair and cast a quick drying charm to your clothes before heading home.

You had barely managed to pick at the tangles in your wet hair when an equally soaked Draco walked up behind you—clothes sticking to his toned body and hair sticking to his face.

“Draco. Sorry for hogging the mirror. I thought I’d be done sooner but these tangles are—hmmm.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind you and pressed his cold lips against the base of your neck.

Even though your hair was entangled and unruly, you looked bewitching to him.

Especially the way the thin and drenched fabric of your seafoam colored dress draped your body—transparent and accentuating all your curves.

He just couldn’t help himself from unzipping your dress while he admired the sight of your dress slowly leaving your body in the mirror in front of you both.

“Draco?” You whispered as you watched his lips move their way from your neck to your shoulders. His hands gently gripping and massaging your breasts.

“Yes?” He whispered into your hair as he began nipping on your earlobe—his hands never leaving your breasts.

You wanted to tell him that you were in love with him but the words just refused to leave your lips.

“I—I missed you so much.” You said instead as you watched the corners of his mouth twitch.

He didn’t say a word back.

Hips lips were too occupied with sucking love bites against your skin.

He didn’t need to tell you that he missed you too. The deep reddish purple markings on your body said it all.

Draco intertwined his fingers around yours and placed your palms flat against the marble basin in front of you.

Your dainty fingers brought out the verdant tones of the emerald ring and Draco couldn’t help but admire his family heirloom on you.

He slowly moved his hands up your arms and let them brush against your bare back—trailing lower and lower till he was barely touching your soaking wet cunt.

“You like it when I touch you here?” He murmured pushing one of his fingers inside for a fleeting second.

“Hmmm.” You moaned gripping tightly onto the basin and pushing your hips backwards to get more.

Draco brought his hand to your arse and struck once causing you to hiss through your teeth.

“Words darling—use your words.”

“Yes….” You whimpered, opening your eyes to stare into the reflection again. There was a kind of unrestrained hunger in his eyes that only made you want him more.

“Good girl...so fucking perfect..so beautiful.”

He reached out and wrapped his left hand around your throat and brought your face close to him while the pad of his right thumb rubbed steady circles on your throbbing clit.

He loved that you were always so wet and ready for him.

“Draco..I want you inside me..Please..”

He could have spent hours on end just teasing you with his fingers and tongue if he could. There was just something about you that just made him want to take his time to worship you—to ruin you.

But time was not on his side and the reflection in front of him was making him increasingly impatient so he did not tease you any further. He simply unbuckled his trousers and pushed his cock where it belonged.

“Fuck...yes Draco..”

A whimper let your lips at the sudden push and your knuckles turned pale as you gripped tightly onto the marble basin.

“Look at you…” He murmured against your shoulder as he stared ahead into the mirror—his cock pounding in and out of you. “Taking my cock like such a good girl.”

He let go of your throat and used his hands to hold your hips firmly in place as he fucked you mercilessly.

Every time you two had fucked before this, Draco had constantly reminded himself to be a little gentle with you—but today, he wanted to wreck you.

He wanted you to scream his name in a bittersweet mix of pure pleasure and pain as he fucked you relentlessly.

“More...Draco...oh..fuck…yes.”

Beads of tears started to slip out of your eyes and you started to squirm—clenching him inside of you as your started to feel your orgasm approach.

“Don’t.” He growled digging his nails into the flesh at your hips. “Don’t fucking come just yet.”

You winced when he slipped himself out before carrying you back to his room where he sat down at the edge of the bed—positioning you on his lap with your legs on either side as he slipped back into you.

Draco let you adjust to the new position for a few seconds as you gripped his shoulders as you moved your hips, slowly riding his cock.

“My perfect little slut.” He sighed cupping your face in his hands as you continued to move against him.

After letting you ride him for a little longer, he gripped your hips and started to pound into you making your tits bounce up and down.

“Feels so good Draco—feels so fucking good. Oh god yes.”

With one hand on your arse and his mouth attached to your nipple Draco kept thrusting into you till the room was filled with the sound of your screams mixed with the sound of his skin slapping against yours and the sound rain splattering against the window glass.

“Fuck y/n...your cunt is so perfect, you take me so fucking good..god.”

“Harder…”

“So good when you clench me in like that... fuck y/n..I need to fucking fill you up…”

“Draco please..don’t fucking stop...oh..I’m so close..”

You always submitted to him so easily, he enjoyed the control he had over you.

But your sweet moans, the way your lips moved when you sighed his name was enough to make him weak for you.

You were completely oblivious to the power you held over him.

He loved you.

And he wanted to say the words out loud over and over again.

“I love—I love being inside you..I have missed you so much” He said instead.

“Draco I’m—I’m fucking cumming.” You whined as he continued to move his hips.

“Let go. Fucking cum y/n. Cum with me.”

You let your head fall against his shoulders and dug your nails into his biceps as you succumbed to your orgasm.

He soon followed, painting your walls with his release as he murmured sweet nothings into your skin.

You held each other close as you both recovered from your highs and and when he eventually fell asleep you whispered into his ear.

I’ll be thinking of you too Malfoy.

~~~~~~~~~

29th December

Once glimpse of the calendar and all the feelings you had shoved into a deep dark part of your mind trickled out in the form of tears.

Silent tears.

The kind of tears you cry when the silence of the night gets unbearable.

The kind where you suppress the sound of your wail and hopelessly try and mute any kind of sniffle by pressing your face hard into the pillow because you don’t want to wake anyone up.

Silent tears are the most painful of tears when mixed with the sound of the clock ticking.

For some bizarre reason, every second gets more prolonged than the other.

You had tried to hold it together for days. You tried to pretend like Draco’s engagement didn’t bother you.

But it did.

You turned your head on your very damp pillow and eyed the pack of smokes on your night stand. Draco had left when he came to drop off your present.

On an impulse, You stepped out of your bed as your trembling fingers reached for the 25 pack of expensive looking cigarettes.

The second you opened the box, the slight scent of nicotine wafted up your nose and you slowly placed a cigarette at the corner of your chapped and dry lips and lit it up.

Like always, you coughed and wheezed the second you inhaled.

You hated how it felt.

But you loved how close you suddenly felt to Draco.

In a twisted kind of way, It felt like you were submerged in his presence again.

Your lips tasted like they had been kissed by him again.

The more you inhaled the better it felt.

In a fucked up kind of way, The word felt right again.

And slowly, the night faded into morning as one cigarette turned into another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

30th December

Pansy had flooed to your hour the minute she received a letter last night in your drunken handwriting talking about how amazing cigarettes were and how pretty Astoria was.

With a mug filled to the brim with tea in between her hands, she rested her back against the armchair in your room, tilting her head to get a better look at you.

Your face was pressed sideways against the pillow and she could tell you’d been crying by the dried mascara stains on your cheeks.

A half smoked cigarette was pressed into the makeshift ashtray that you’d made out of your bedside table making Pansy wonder if she’d ever seen you this miserable.

Your duvet was barely covering your shoulders and just as Pansy was standing up to pull them up, your bedroom door creaked open.

“I just wanted to drop something off.” Draco mumbled almost like he was talking to himself as he took a step into the room—hand in his blazer pocket.

Pansy didn't say a word as she watched Draco with her eyes narrowed. She observantly watched him pull out a tiny box from his pocket and mumble a spell to restore it to its original size.

“What are those?”

“Assorted sweets.” He said softly, with his gaze not leaving your sleeping form once. “She wouldn’t stop talking about exploding bonbons the other night at the pub.”

Pansy heaved out a sigh as she watched Draco place the box of sweets on your bedside table before reaching to gently push away your hair from your face.

“Don’t get me wrong Draco, but you really shouldn’t be here right now.”

His weary eyes flickered as he turned to look questioningly at Pansy—retreating his hand from your face.

“You are getting engaged tomorrow—look at her, look at the state she is in. She won’t say it out loud but It’s clearly killing her.”

As much as Draco hated agreeing with Pansy, she was right.

Even while asleep, you looked worn out and restless with your eyebrows scrunched up indicating tension.

He wasn’t even going to get himself started on the cigarettes and wine bottles on your night stand.

“Will you let her know that I came by?” He looked half expectantly at Pansy who gave him an apologetic smile in return. “Never mind I guess.”

As Draco reluctantly backed away from you, Blaise’s words lingered in his mind.

What is holding you back Malfoy?

(To be continued...)

~~~~~~

Part 6: Final Chapter Preview:

The Malfoy Manor was being decorated and every little detail of the decor screamed nothing but aristocratic, pristine, perfect.

It was like everything was just a futile attempt to conceal the dullness, loneliness and the fucked up pure blood traditions hiding deep within the manor walls.

Much like his so-called arrangement with Astoria that seemed so perfect on paper.

Pure blood families, rich family history, old money.

What could go wrong right?..

~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#harry potter #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco smut #draco x reader smut #draco x slytherin!reader

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pr1ncessm00n · 2 years

Text

hey everyone :) a little chat/ serious psa below

sorry for my unannounced hiatus lol- i’ve had a bit much on my plate. but my plate is cleared! i can’t say the last chapter of common sense will come this week because i’m still drafting and i want it to be a perfect, long, ending to this series 💕 it’s my favorite one i’ve written so far so i want to do it, and y’all, justice!

i also started a stan twitter! so if you would like to go ahead and follow that my username is @mikasas2casa (hehe creative ik). i am also on AO3 where i will crosspost my fics! my ao3 used is the same as my tumblr, but i haven’t uploaded anything yet as i’m still trying to make it work. i refuse to join wattpad tho that’s too far gone for me, rip old wattpad you will be missed.

i won president at school!! so that means more responsibility, but hey it’s what i wanted so i’m very pleased :)

serious time…

the only thing i ask is to please not flood my inbox with asks about when i’ll update again lol. i try to be as active as possible but sometimes i just can’t sit and chat or respond to everyone asking me when i’m gonna write. it makes me feel rushed and like i’m only seen as a source of entertainment lol. while i did have sunday as my usual update day, i’ve tried my best to abide by it but i am human and things do come up. which is why i’m letting everyone know ahead of time that this sunday nor this week is a guaranteed publish date. yes i am working hard on it and i have not put it off, but i am also a full time student, work two jobs (one internship which is unpaid), and frankly this is a side hobby for me. it doesn’t mean i don’t love it, but obviously i have priorities and i won’t be able to write if i’m broke and degreeless lol. rudeness doesn’t really get you anywhere besides blocked so i just wanted to make that clear! i also have a bunch of requests to work on so i’m trying my best to provide multiple sources of content. i do enjoy writing but when people send me rude asks or rude messages directly it kind of sucks the fun out of that.

i also want to make it clear that i joined tumblr as a creative outlet and with no intention to gain a bunch of followers or be noticed! and i do appreciate almost 500 followers in such a short time and over 600 notes, i didn’t join for clout at all so not to sound like a total bitch but if this is becoming toxic i won’t hesitate to leave, and then we all lose. so i think it pays off to be nice if im writing something you supposedly want me to continue lol <3

and please, while i don’t mind interacting with you guys in comments just please be mindful that i have my own struggles and like i said, tumblr is my safe place to escape that for a bit. so if you’re trauma dumping in my inbox or dms it’s kind of uncomfortable for me and i am not qualified fo give anyone advice on how to deal with traumatic situations lol so just please be mindful that i’m just a nineteen year old trying to write fanfiction. i’ve already had some pretty crappy interactions with online friends in the past so i just prefer to keep my space sometimes, and i’m not averse to friendship! but i do prefer to just be a bit more private sometimes lol. i know that sounds weird bc i tell y’all updates on my life and stuff but that’s more general stuff, not deep dark personal secret time lmaoo so let’s be mindful of that please.

thank you for all the support and appreciation you’ve shown <3 and no i’m not mad at any of you (except the rude nonnies in my dms demanding an update?? i wish youd expose yourself so i could block u lol) but im just not very good at establishing boundaries and thats something i need to work on without offending anyone!! ok i talk too much bye guys <3 see u soon!

#pr1ncessm00npsas

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palbabor-writes · 3 years

Note

KDJDJSLSKS OK SO- ik it’s widely accepted for Tomura to be kind of an asshole to y/n, but what if 😌 he had the kinda “asshole to the world but never to your girl” thing going on? 😌😌😌😌 I live, I love 🥰

Hey, hi, hey ✨

So, I pretty much exclusively write Tomura with that idea in mind. For me, it’s just a...if I can say this, a canon compliant concept.

Moar under the cutttt + spoilers for post Overhaul arc & MVA arc.

You opened a can of worms nonnie. I’m going to answer the ask, but imma hop on my soap box first ✨

Tomura I would argue, is less of an asshole and more of a sassafras. He is snarky, snarky & I love his attitude.

I feel like early Tomura is the main font of this “asshole” misconception within the fandom. Horikoshi wrote him very differently in the beginning of BNHA. Pretty much everyone who met him called Tomura a “man child.” And he kinda is. He’s impatient and short tempered, but not once did he react to these slights with what I would classify as asshole behavior. Even when his life is threatened, he’s being a little sassy boi.

He’s annoyed in these panels. But he’s not like, hey, you fucking dick, get off my nuts before I kill you. If anything, he elaborates on his thoughts and is challenging Stain to pick up the crappy pieces of his own shoddy “theories.” To Tomura, killing heroes is only breeding MORE heroes. He feels Stain’s plan is flawed & he tells him so.

Tomura is also easily able to slip into different roles. He can fit in with others and make himself part of the crowd. He’s got mountains of self control. When he spies Izuku in the mall he doesn’t come at him with some angry outburst, instead he reverts to snark:

Look at his voice bubbles! They’re a little wavy, but they’re nothing like his usual bubbles. This man can modulate and control how he sounds. He’s going for something open and friendly, albeit, his general demeanor is creepy, but he still manages to get close to Izuku and catch him off guard.

This is the worst outburst we see from Tomura. He’s not spewing vitriol or degrading dialogue, if anything, he’s controlling himself. He’s not wanting to kill these guys anymore and he’s scratching out some space for himself. He needs time to process. He’s a little rude, I guess, but who hasn’t told someone to shut up? It’s a normal piece of conversation when you’re annoyed.

But ken, what about asshole behavior that is visible in the manga? I gotchu, don’t worry.

This guy? Dabi? Yeah, this guy is an example of an asshole. He’s abrasive and confrontational from the GET. Tomura only responses to his aggression, he doesn’t project his frustration until after Dabi has called him fucking GROSS. You talk a lotta shit when you look like THAT king. Like, the morgue called, and they want their burn victim BACK.

Again, Tomura is snarky, but he only calls Toga a freak after she spouts some nonsense about loving Stain so much she wants to kill him. These people are wild and he is not pleased. His ad in the paper asked for COMPETENT villains, not teens, tweens and anything in between.

Plus, Mr. 3rd Degree Burns keeps ignoring his questions. I’d be peeved too, y’all.

Dabi is the asshole in the LOV. He goes out of his way to be nasty, especially to Spinner:

How does Tomura deal with Spinner? He treats him as an equal, even asks his opinion on battle strategy when they are in Deika City.

Tomura has changed a toooon over the course of this manga. Horikoshi has deepened his growth and created a very well rounded and complex character. He cares about his people and he hates being disrespected. Hell, he hates when his people are taken advantage of.

This man, if you are on his side, will fight for you.

So, I don’t write him as an asshole. To me, that is fanon and not canon. Now writing him as blunt, snarky and impatient? Sure. Because, to me, he IS all those things and we can see him being all those things.

ANYWAY. If you made it this far, here is the Drabble:

“They haven’t checked in for two days. Should I call them? I told Toga she needed to-“

“Don’t bother. If it exposes our hand, then this whole mission is a waste.”

“But if they-“

“Why do I need to repeat myself? Like I said, if our plan is revealed then Mange’s death, and your fucking arm, were sacrificed for no reason. Don’t call them, Compress.”

You’re perched on the edge of a large box, watching the tense exchange. Tomura has been quiet the last few days, even keeping you at an arms length. He’s upset, and he’s been brittle, jagged in his recent conversations and movements.

Compress tosses you a quick glance and shrugs, his light brown eyes darkening. “All right, I suppose we can go off of the old saying that: no news, is good news. However, I am going to ask Toga to maintain regular check in’s the next time she calls.”

“Fine,” Tomura grunts, following Compress’ line of sight, his eyes lingering over your seated form. “Is that all?”

“Yes, yes,” Compress nods, his gloved hand waving in the air beside his head. “That’s all from me. I’ll check on the van. Giran said it would be available this afternoon.”

Tomura continues his silent observation of you, barely lifting his chin to acknowledge Compress’ statement.

“I’ll be back this afternoon,” Compress continues, letting out a soft chuckle as he turns on his heel, closing the heavy door behind him.

“You think they’re ok?” You ask, your voice soft.

Tomura removes Father from his face, his long white hair falling around his cheeks. “I told them I trusted in their abilities. It’s not sending the right message if I pester them for intel and their whereabouts every few days. Don’t you start up, too.”

You laugh and hop off the crate, your feet padding you over to him. “I’m not, it’s just...it’s so soon after...I mean, Mange’s death was...”

“Yes. Chisaki is an idiot if he thinks one lackey of his is equal to our Mange. This has to work.”

You lift a hand, pressing your fingers across his jaw, cupping his warm skin. Tomura leans into your touch, his vermilion eyes slipping behind his hooded eyelids.

“It will,” you confirm, pulling him down to your lips.

∩(・ω・)∩

Sorry for the lecture. It was a fun ask to answer!

Bonus!

#asks #answered asks #ken muses #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x y/n #drabbles #meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #i hope this was ok

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donquxiotes · 2 years

Text

important announcements abt my askbox + 700 followers event. not proofread, so excuse any mistakes. use context clues.

firstly, i would like to thank everyone who sent their lewdings in my askbox. i appreciated it more than u know. i, however have a couple of problems regarding my askbox like holding asks for too long, not being inspired enough to write, forgetting my asks & etc. so asks tend to stay in my askbox for months. i keep telling myself not to feel bad bc it happens & i can’t force myself to write even tho i want. but i still do. so sincerely, i’m incredibly sorry for the asks that i didn’t do/get to. ik some of u work up a helluva courage to send to me, just for me not to do it. i feel like shit bc of it. to put it simply, i deleted all the asks in my askbox.

+ abt my askbox, i don’t like being perceived as mean, shocker right? so i force myself to put energy into my asks bc i don’t want my anons to think i’m being rude or disrespectful w how i normally am but it’s tiring. so tiring that i just close out of my askbox for the day. there are times where i just don’t feel social. so for now on, i will answer asks how i want & u don’t have to send any if u find me being rude. i will remember to use tone indicators where i see fit.

secondly, regarding my 700 followers event, idek. atm i’m not inspired to do it & is 80% close to deleting the entire event despite me loving every little bit of it. i took three days coming up w that event and spent even longer coming up w names for the habitats 😒 i’m not sure what happened to the inspo i had for the event. around that time, i just went into a big funk where i couldn’t write despite having everything that i need to write. it’s disheartening. i can’t keep making myself feel bad because once again, it’s out of my control. instead, i’m coming out w a hybrid collab for dom content writers. not gonna talk much abt that yet. but i want everyone to be prepared & i want everyone to actually do it. and not leave me nor any of u, hanging. (like i did) so i want to do it where it’s a comfy time for writers to add a drabble or two to their list of to-do’s. so it’s like, either my 700 followers event or the hybrid collab. i’m not doing both, not around the same time atleast yk? so, the 700 followers event will most likely be deleted.

lastly, i’m almost to 1k. surprisingly. and tbh, i don’t feel as proud of myself as i should. nowadays it just feels like people follow me and never support me after that. i’m not gonna keep complaining abt it & beg y’all to give me feedback bc it’s a simple thing that every writer deserves. but half of the time, i force myself to write just to provide y’all w content & it just don’t feel good anymore w the lack of practically anything. most of my support comes from my own friends + people in the tags (which bring in some new moots + followers) the ratio is truly sickening. i don’t think i will do an event for until i’m really confident in my followers. i write for myself, not for followers but the follower’s feed-back does make me feel proud, is all i’m saying. having followers is like “wow people really support what i like, yay” but it’s like if you’re not actually supporting me, why are u even here? yk. it’s just frustrating. idk if i’m saying i’m not gonna write anymore but, i am sick of providing y’all w FREE SHIT when the appreciation isn’t provided back. so yea. i’m sick of that.

tho, i am so happy for the few of u who send me asks, indulge in my random lewds & those who actually rb + like my content all the time, i see u! alwaysss. y’all are the ones that really makes me want to keep writing. but, having a big following does not feel good anymore. <33

some xtras things incase u aren’t aware:

my rules & regulations are always being updated every other day. i usually update the types of characters i write + kinks/fetishes i write.

my dni/byf is in my bio. the highlighted word is the link to it. i’m gonna change the theme of my blog soon so hopefully it’s where y’all will b able to access it easier & quicker. i feel like some of y’all don’t even try to click around.

my taglist form is right here! and it will always b in my pinned post. i will check it before i post a drabble or headcanons. ofc, u don’t have to join it if u don’t wanna!

ok i think that’s the end of this announcement. i just needed to get a few things off of my chest.

#. ⊹ . .kale’s important announcements.#long text.

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milo-my-beloved · 3 years

Text

chapter four of stupid things!

Read on AO3 // Playlist // Buy me a coffee?

Sorry this chapter is so late! I've had a lot of difficulties... but I hope you enjoy it!

On Monday, Inej wakes up to over a hundred messages. Groaning, she turns over and considers suffocating herself in her pillow, before forcing herself to unlock her phone.

You have been added to a new group chat.

99+ new messages.

Jesper: Sup bitches

Wylan: Hello! :D

Jesper: I thought we could use this to organise date nights

Kaz: It’s my turn to choose.

Jesper: ik dumbass

Kaz: Meet outside the library at 6pm on Friday. I’ll organise transport.

Jesper: doesn’t sound sketchy at all

Wylan: Is there anything we need to bring???

Kaz: Wear fancy clothes.

Jesper: are we gonna rob a bank?

Kaz: If we were, I wouldn’t bring you.

Jesper: rude

Inej scrolls past the rest of the messages, ignoring the endless bickering. Her finger hovers over the mute chat button as she imagines the headache that her dear friends are about to cause her, but locks her phone instead, sitting up. Surely they can’t be that bad? Besides, she would hate to miss out on anything.

{o0o}

By Wednesday, Inej is massively regretting that decision. Even she didn’t think Jesper is capable of starting that many arguments, and his incessant flirting with Wylan is going to be the death of her.

On Thursday, she runs into Kaz on her way home from class and they grab a coffee together. They find a bench tucked out of the way of any foot traffic and chat for a while, but Kaz refuses to tell her what his plans are for this weekend.

“God,” Inej says, leaning back in the seat. “Is Jesper addicted to his phone? I swear, I’ve never seen anyone send that many messages.”

Kaz raises an eyebrow. “Are you surprised?”

She shrugs, tipping the last of her latte in her mouth. “I shouldn’t be, I suppose.”

“What have they even been talking about?” he asks, taking their empty cups and tossing them in the bin beside him. “I muted the chat about an hour after Jes made it.”

Inej blinks a few times, staring out into the fields coated in mist as she reevaluates her life choices. Why did the universe decide that these would be her friends?

She groans, dramatically flopping sideways onto Kaz. “I should have done that days ago.”

{o0o}

When Friday finally rolls around, their evening plans are still a mystery to everyone but Kaz. No matter what schemes they had come up with, Kaz had refused to tell. Wylan had asked him politely, claiming the not-knowing is bad for his anxiety (which is probably true, actually) and Inej had even offered him a bribe, to no avail.

(Jesper had just pestered him over text. Inej doesn’t have the heart to tell him that Kaz has blocked his number.)

The three of them look ridiculous, standing outside the library in their fanciest clothes. Wylan is wearing a plain black suit, his bow tie slightly askew, while Jesper is wearing a colourful suit jacket and black jeans. A few students give them weird looks, but most of them are too busy with their own lives to give more than a few seconds thought towards them.

When a limo pulls up instead of Kaz’s shady minivan, Jesper’s mouth falls open. Kaz pushes the door open, sticking his head out. “Are you coming, or what? And Jesper, shut your mouth.”

Jesper and Wylan clamber in first, Inej gracefully sliding in after them. She self-consciously runs a hand down her dress, the purple silk soft against her palms.

“You look beautiful,” Kaz whispers while Jesper and Wylan are distracted by a bottle of champagne waiting for them, and she blushes.

“So do you,” she replies, smiling at his entirely black suit. Apart from their day at the beach, she’s never seen him out of a suit, but she can see why he wears them.

“Hey, Kaz,” Jesper interrupts, pouring the champagne into four glasses. “Will you tell us where we’re going yet?”

“Nope,” he replies with a smug smile.

“How did you afford all this?” Wylan asks, looking around at the luxurious. “Did you actually rob that bank? Without us?”

Kaz rolls his eyes, and Inej stifles a laugh.

“You’re not far off, Mr Van Sunshine,” Jesper laughs, sticking his tongue out at Kaz. “He’s always been secretly rich, but no one knows where it comes from.”

“His terrifying glare?” Wylan suggests.

“His suits?” Inej offers.

“I think it’s his sparkling personality,” Jesper answers with a wink.

“Oh, shut up,” Kaz mutters, just as the car comes to a stop.

No one moves for a moment, until Kaz rolls his eyes and climbs out first, muttering something to himself. He extends a hand to help Inej out, but he leaves Jesper and Wylan to fend for themselves as he leans over and gives the driver some instructions.

“Just in here,” he says, ushering them all towards a shady looking door. Jesper and Inej share an incredulous look, and Wylan looks like he is itching to run in the opposite direction of whatever this is.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kaz grumbles, opening the door to reveal a dark corridor. “It’s the back entrance. Someone owed me a favour.”

There’s another blank silence where no one moves.

“I swear no one is going to get murdered and no crimes are going to be committed. Good enough for you?”

Inej can’t help but smirk at how nervous Jesper looks. Usually, he’s up for anything, but he keeps shifting his weight and staring into the long, dark corridor. Wylan, beside him, looks close to passing out.

“Oh, come on guys,” Inej says, stepping (with only a split second of hesitation) towards the doorway, her voice filled with false confidence. “I’m not having you ruin my hot date.”

Kaz doesn’t smile, but his eyes sparkle with that mischief she has come to love. In return, she gives him a glare that roughly translates as ‘I better not get stabbed, I like this dress without the blood stains, thank you.”

Begrudgingly, they all follow her inside, the metal door clanging shut behind them and shrouding them in darkness.

Now her eyes are adjusting, Inej can see a small gleam of light coming from around the corner, so she follows that, praying that she won’t trip over something or walk into a wall.

“This has to be the third sketchiest thing you’ve ever made me do,” Jesper mutters at the back of the group, and Inej hears Kaz snort in response.

“What were the other two?” Wylan whispers nervously, but no one answers him.

Inej comes to an abrupt halt when she reaches the end of the hallway, her mouth dropping open. Kaz must have been telling the truth about the back entrance, because standing in front of them is the most glamorous restaurant she has ever laid eyes on. Inej doesn’t think she has seen so much luxury in one place before; it looks like something straight out of a fairytale or a magazine, the huge chandelier above them dazzling her.

A waiter arrives quickly, shaking hands with Kaz. “Right this way, my friends,” he says, ushering them over to a booth away from the bustle of the kitchen and the other diners. “Here are your menus,” he continues, handing them out, “and I will return in a few moments for your drinks orders.”

“Thanks, Rotty,” Kaz answers, oblivious to the three wide-eyed stares he is getting from around the table.

Somehow, it reminds Inej of the night where she first met Kaz. Hopefully this time they won’t have to worry about getting arrested.

“What’s everyone having?” Kaz asks, and Inej realises he’s ignoring them on purpose. “I hear their duck is excellent.”

“I’ve never been to a super fancy restaurant before!” Jesper exclaims in a whisper shout. “I don’t know what half this stuff says.”

“Uh,” Wylan says, looking at his menu like it personally offended him. “I’m not that hungry…”

Kaz rolls his eyes. “How about I order for everyone, hm? Unless you have any objections, Inej?”

She shakes her head, her mind still swimming as she tries to figure out how Kaz managed to book a table in such a lavish restaurant. Maybe Jesper is onto something with the whole bank robbing thing, she muses.

Sure enough, Kaz orders for them all with no hesitation. When Jesper starts awkwardly shuffling in his seat, he adds, “Dinner’s on me, by the way. It’s only fair, after all.”

Everyone stares at him for a minute, floundering for something to say. Suddenly, Inej starts laughing, leaning her head forward onto the table as she tries to stifle her giggles and ends up hiccupping instead. Wylan joins in with a nervous chuckle, but Kaz and Jesper just stare at her, amused.

“‘Nej, you okay?” Jesper asks eventually as Kaz pats her back in what he hopes is a soothing motion.

“Yeah,” she manages to gasp out, trying to take some deep breaths. “Sorry, it’s just-” She bursts out laughing again as another table looks away, distaste written all over their faces. “It’s just so surreal.”

Luckily, the food arrives before she can embarrass herself any further.

Kaz must secretly be some kind of psychic, because there is no way he somehow knows exactly what Inej’s taste in food is. Whatever he’s picked out for her - some kind of posh pasta, she thinks - is maybe the most delicious food she has ever eaten, and if she wasn’t in public, she would be making all sorts of inappropriate noises as she eats it.

“Mmm,” Jesper moans, clearly not having the same reservations. “I think I can die happy now.”

Kaz rolls his eyes again, but Inej can see the smile peeking out from behind his fork.

Clearly, his food magic is also working on Jesper and Wylan, because they look equally happy with their choices. She has never seen Jes inhale a plate of food so fast, and he usually eats quite quickly. Wylan looks like he’s considering making out with the sauce left on his plate, and Inej decides that if she dropped dead right now, she wouldn’t even be mad.

“I can’t take you people anywhere,” Kaz complains, his eyes twinkling with the light of the chandelier. Inej laughs as Jesper pouts, and the waiter reappears to take their plates away.

{o0o}

“So,” Jesper says in the limo on the way back to the library. “Who has the best taste?”

“Me, clearly,” Kaz answers without hesitation. “You all like what I ordered for you, didn’t you?”

“No, silly.” Jesper whacks him lightly on the arm. “Who organised the best double date?”

Wylan actually raises his hand before speaking. “I liked bowling.”

Inej crosses her arms. “Of course you did. Was it the actual activity, or the fact Jesper was practically grinding-”

“Woah, ‘Nej, let’s not scar the poor boy,” Jesper cuts in, blushing almost as much as his boyfriend. “My favourite was dinner, actually.”

“I liked the game night,” Kaz states, “But I’m sure you’ll all accuse me of being biased.”

“Beach was best,” Inej declares, leaning sideways into Kaz. “So, who wins? It’s just a four way tie, isn’t it?”

“Well,” Jesper exclaims, “We can’t have that.”

There’s no sound but the noise of the traffic outside for a minute or two, and then Jesper jumps like he’s been electrocuted. He smiles, but Inej sees the mischief in his smug grin and immediately senses danger.

“Rematch?” he offers, and she sighs.

tag list below! ask to be added or removed :D

@hrtbreakprincess / @tooindecisivetopickaurl / @kazcoded / @saltyfortunes

#shadow and bone #six of crows #kanej #wesper #grishaverse #mmb writes #stupid things #kanej fics #userhbs #my writing

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hajimine · 3 years

Text

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

#💬#bye this took me so long #the biggest kithes for u all mwa

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awfullyaster · 4 years

Text

andrew and neil are switches, don’t you forget it

ok hi here for my (probably) daily aftg rant,,,,so i’m seeing that the majority of the fandom (as far as i’ve seen anyway)--or fics/fanart consisting of andreil doing the do--view neil as a power bottom ?

am i incorrect? are my resources false? idk bout u but so far i’ve only seen like one fic where neil is the top/penetrator (!mao is that even a real word idk but it sounds weird haha cute ok anyway)

and honestly, i have to disagree. i do. i’m not trying to push andrew’s boundaries by saying that neil could top, i’m just saying that y’all don’t give neil enough credit.

liek,,,,,bro,,,,,do you not see the amount of top energy neil mf josten radiates ???? like, yes, we know andrew takes the lead but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d top forever ?????

( just a proposition, ofc but this is just my opinion based on observations--yet again )

( and tbh i had difficulty trying to figure who was the top and who was the bottom between them when i encountered the first hint of intimate growth in their relationship--to the point where i had to ask my best friend who hadn’t a clue what aftg was prior to (that’s when the aftg rants officially started/ignited) and it took some time/proper discussion/consideration but he first came up with the conclusion that andrew was a sub top and that neil was a power bottom )

as for yours truly, i came to the conclusion that they are both switches (some time after i finished reading).

i mean,,,,,,can you really just look at neil josten--wholly, like his entire personality, attitude (problem !), traits, &c and decide on the spot that he’s a bottom ??? how ??? how the hell do you come up with that ?????

and hear me out, i have evidence/reasons:

one) The Great Riko Roast™️. need i say more?

(if elaboration is necessary:

keep in mind that neil (this literal fucking nobody) burned riko (supposedly the king of exy or whatever the fuck, who cares) to ground on the spot (no script, just his attitude problem (mwah i love him) and pure spite)

again, he burned him to the ground on live television, publicly humiliating riko with each and every word

idk bout u but i am so damn sure andrew found out right then n there that this bitch radiates top energy for fucking sure (or, in his words, isn’t spineless)

neil committing arson via verbal attacks is just---splendid. absolutely mesmerizing. flawless. truly inspiring. gamechanging. glorious.

he’s so rude i love him

anyway )

two) neil can shut up andrew up without having to touch or kiss him. he can leave him speechless. with just his words.

(yes, we know anybody & everybody knows better than to touch andrew but like i mean he wouldn’t have to fight him or whatever) (and he doesn’t have to kiss him to shut him up--though he definitely can--he doesn’t have to because that’s just how fucking powerful he is)

y’all,,,,,are you ready for one of the most amazing lines i believe we all know and love,,,,,

““You have a problem wherein you only invest your time and energy into worthless pursuits."

“This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless.”

“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”

“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, “And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him.

[...andrew had his hand frozen mid-air...(i forgot the rest)]”

if this does not prove dominance to you, i don’t know what to tell you. (HE WAS MERELY SPEAKING AND ANDREW COULD NOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING-- A N Y T H I N G --TO SAY BACK BC IT’S A PERSONAL ATTACK AND HE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING AND THAT’S WHY HE SEES NEIL AS INTERESTING/WHY HE ‘HATES’ HIM SO MUCH BRO I)

hOweVeR

i know that dom bottoms exist (i think so, anyway) or bottoms that radiate top energy/the position (i.e. bottom,top) energy you radiate can be entirely different from what position you really are/are comfy with and that these are just words but that brings me to my following point,

three) (#1 insitgator, he, oh yes, neil josten, yes indeed) his unexpected (and to be frank, quite thrilling) acts of asserting dominance ?????? um ????

(when they were kith kithing next to the kitchen (next to kitchen) in neil’s dorm room) “[neil felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and against the wall it was obnoxiously loud. he already knew it was his daily countdown, but he already knew how much little time he had left. he didn’t need to reminded, especially now...andrew took it out of his back pocket and offered it to neil, pulling away from his mouth. neil took the phone from andrew’s hand and threw it across the living room, not taking his eyes off andrew. andrew watched as the phone bounced off the couch and onto the carpet. neil kissed his neck in attempt to distract him and was rewarded by a startled jolt which was enough reason to do it again. and even though andrew pushed his face away, they were close enough for neil to not miss how andrew shivered.]”

b r o ,,,,,,,,,,,, bro,,,,,,it just--

(when they were alone in the bus otw to that one away game--belmonte, i think?) “[“i wonder when coach found out about this,” neil prompted.

“there is no ‘this’.”

“i wonder when coach found out you only want to kill me ninety-three percent of the time.”

neil retraced his steps and had a moment of realization. before andrew left for easthaven, neil had told andrew to trust him and not ‘neil’.

“it was before you left,” neil started...

“coach doesn’t believe what other people want him to believe, he believes what he sees,” andrew replied...

“are you going to tell them?” neil was referring to the rest of the team, and this was up to him, whether they’ll be out or not.

“i won’t have to. renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality.”

neil knew that matt mentioned that there were bets on about him, but he didn’t know it was about this.

“it’s a waste of time and money. they’ll all lose. i’ve said all year that i don’t swing and i meant it. kissing you doesn’t make me look any of them differently. the only one i’m interested in is you.”

“don’t say stupid things.”

“make me.” and with that, neil grabbed a fistful of andrew’s hair and pulled him in.]”

dude,,,,,,,,,he can take control,,,,,he can,,,,he can lead, too, but he follows andrew’s because he’s a good boy and he knows how important it is. he improvises and uses what he has and takes control from there. dude. dude.

three) honestly? i think andrew likes it. neil’s unexpected acts of confidence,,,kinda leaves him on the edge of his seat yk,, like doesn’t it increase his percentage? it does, right? cuz ik it did when andrew guided neil to touch his chest and neil emulated andrew’s words, “i won’t be like them. i won’t let you let me be.” (i love them bye) but liek,,,,yeah idk andrew liking neil’s neck kisses/fetish kinda tells me he likes it so maybe this isn’t concrete evidence particularly but i’m still including it because andrew’s a switch, idc what anyone says,

four) i lost my train of thought but i ran out of reasons--on the spot, anyway--so i might come back to this if i do but just to make it clear:

andrew minyard is a switch. (it just takes time, like a lot, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily impossible/never gonna happen.)

neil josten is a switch. (he respects andrew’s boundaries and doesn’t push him, he’s fine being guided, but it doesn’t mean he can’t take the initiative himself (and i forgot to mention it but re: when he asked andrew if he doesn’t like to be touched in general or if it’s a trust thing + many more times, before & after their first kiss, i believe, my brain is just empty rn) and i just think that deserves more recognition)

so !!

(this post is a mess, (i always am but today’s just worse) i know, and i’m sorry)

in conclusion,

let neil top andrew !! they deserve it !!

(not that vice versa is bad, but this isn’t either, yk, just saying. also, i hope this isn’t too late to say in the post, but i do not, i repeat, i do not, intend to pressure any content creator--fic writers, fan artists, editors, &c--to create content this particular way only,,,,okay,,,gotta make that unequivocally clear. and i’m not saying andrew topping neil is bad or overrated, because i know that when it comes to them, sex in general would take some time, especially neil topping andrew, but i think they deserve that freedom, yk. again,,,,this is just my personal opinion. no insisting statements here, just wish for freedom to speak my mind, that is all. also feel free to interact if you agree/disagree or both !! i’m willing to hear anyone’s comments or thoughts or whatever !! i hope i’m talking to a brick wall here ahah)

bro brain poop rn

anyway

tl/dr: bro let neil top (not necessarily on top, but that works, too--either/or--or both, if y’all dare ;DD (kill me) (but like srsly) (let neil top) (plz) :))

(also somewhat off topic but might anyone have access to some fics in which consist of neil first getting andrew off ??? i randomly remember it from ms. sakavic’s extra content page and i would like to see what the fandom offers, if y’all don’t mind)

im so mean and insistent on my aftg-related opinions now that i think about it

whoops

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