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tawaifeddiediaz · 2 years

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of accidents and inevitabilities

For @bedhadakdiaz loml <3 I hope I got this out before you went to sleep but you know.

Accidental kisses my beloved <3

[AO3 Link]

Word Count: 3536 words

Honestly, Eddie thinks it was just a matter of time before it happened anyway.

He’s sitting at the breakfast table with Christopher when it happens, his forehead pressed to the table, one hand curled around a cup of coffee. Christopher’s sitting in the chair opposite from him, chattering happily about his breakfast plans in great detail.

Eddie’s trying to listen to him, he really is, but it was a late, grueling shift, and he hasn’t even gotten through his morning two cups of coffee. He doesn’t even feel remotely human yet, and there’s still a stretch of three hours to go before he can curl up for a nap, guilt free.

Chris whines out, “Dad, are you listening to me?”

Eddie looks up at that, and breathes in the coffee-scented steam from his mug as if that will magically wake him up. It doesn’t but the illusion is enough for Eddie to perk up a little and at least pretend to be more awake. “Yeah, buddy, I am. You were talking about raspberries.”

Chris still looks skeptical, but he nods. “Right, and the raspberries Buck and I picked last week are weirdly sour, so he puts honey…”

Eddie admittedly zones out a little watching his son talk and talk. Not because he’s stopped listening, but because it always does something to him to see Christopher in his element like this.

Most days, he feels like he’s hurtling towards the teenage years armed with nothing but his friends’ experience with teenagers and the three books he’s practically memorized cover-to-cover on how to parent teenagers.

But days like these, where Christopher talks like he’s still five years old and curled into Eddie’s lap…those are days where the nostalgia makes a home in his chest and he can’t think outside it.

It doesn’t help matters that his kid is going into his first day of middle school, and all Eddie can think about is how small Chris was when Eddie held him for the first time, and how they’re at the point where Chris is as tall as Eddie’s shoulder. The only things that haven’t changed across the years is how earnest his kid’s eyes have always been.

Christopher’s in the middle of a tirade on blueberries and cinnamon when Eddie hears the shuffle of feet behind him.

Like young sunflowers seeking the sun, Eddie turns towards him, another piece of his world shifting into place as he watches a sleepy-eyed Buck walk into the kitchen.

Buck’s lips greet him good morning as his fingers slide into Eddie’s hair, one hand braced on the back of Eddie’s neck, and the other sifting through his bedhead to curve around his ear. They’re gentle, the calluses as familiar to Eddie as his own.

Eddie hums quietly as Buck’s fingers tilt his jaw, pressing a softer kiss to his mouth, then to the freckle under his eyebrow, then to his forehead. He feels marginally awake under Buck’s easy affection, but his hand tightens around his coffee mug anyway.

“Good morning,” he rasps out against Eddie’s hairline, the scent of mint washing over him.

“Morning,” Eddie returns, watching as Buck rounds the table to press a kiss to Christopher’s curls, looking like he’ll fall asleep against the kid any moment.

“Morning, bud. Did you decide what you want for breakfast?”

It’s then that Eddie realizes that Christopher’s fallen stock-still and silent, his gaze jumping between the two of them.

“What?” Eddie asks, taking a sip out of his mug. “Buck asked you something.”

“Oh, waffles, thanks, Buck,” Chris says absently, still looking shocked for some reason.

Eddie’s about to push and ask if he’s okay when Chris visibly shakes it off, shrugging as he turns to Buck to tell him the grand plans for his first day of school.

He studies his son for a minute, then decides it must not be important for him to shake it off so easily.

Buck valiantly tries to listen, but Eddie laughs softly when he makes a beeline to the coffee machine, his ear tilted towards Chris as he nods and responds in all the right places.

For all of Buck’s energy, it takes at least three cups of coffee before he remotely wakes up after a shift like last night’s.

“You didn’t have to get up, you know,” Eddie tells him after Chris goes to brush his teeth, unable to hide the fond tone from his voice this early in the morning. Buck looks sleep-rumbled and exhausted, but there’s a curve to his mouth and crinkles bracketing his eyes from listening to Christopher talk.

In his head, Eddie calls it Buck’s Christopher look — it’s a look he’s never seen on him anywhere else. Not even with Jee-Yun — there’s a different fond look for her.

“Wanted to see Chris before his first day,” Buck grunts out, his voice still hoarse. Eddie ignores the warmth that flares in his stomach for a moment before he lets himself relax into it, sliding back in his chair as he watches his friend perk up with the first sip. “Are you doing okay?”

Buck watches him knowingly over the rim of the mug, despite his eyes still half-shut from his exhaustion. It’s cuter than it has any right being, and Eddie smiles as he answers the question.

“He was literally just this small.” He holds his hands up about a foot apart to accentuate his point. “Now he’s going into to middle school. Next thing you know, he’ll graduate and leave me for college or whatever else he wants to do.”

It’s more emotional than he’d planned on being, but Buck’s expression softens like he’d expected Eddie to say that — and maybe he had. No one tends to be on the same page as Eddie the way Buck does.

“He’s never going to leave you,” Buck says gently, one hand dropping to Eddie’s shoulder. “He’s always going to have his dad in his corner, and he knows that.”

“He’s going to have a lot of people in his corner,” Eddie says, ducking his head as a flush crawls up his ears, like it always does when Buck says anything about his parenting. “Most of all, us.”

“Yeah,” Buck agrees, tipping his forehead against Eddie’s for a quick moment before getting up to make his infamous waffles. Eddie throws the toppings Christopher had been talking about into small bowls to make it easier on all of them, sliding them across the table as his son wanders back in to check on the progress.

The morning crawls by slowly, but also somehow so much quicker than Eddie had anticipated. For all that they’d gotten up early so they would be on time, eight-fifteen finds them rushing out the door with minutes to spare, a waffle still clenched in Christopher’s syrupy hands.

“Have a good first day, bud!” Buck calls out as Eddie gets Chris situated in the truck and climbs into the driver’s seat. He’s still wearing pajama pants with cartoon koalas going down one leg and cartoon penguins down the other but he’s seen worse at school drop-off.

At the very least, he’s in a plain, clean white T-shirt.

He waves to Buck as he reverses out of the driveway, sticking his tongue out as his best friend clearly laughing at him.

“Dad?” Chris asks after Eddie drives out of their neighborhood.

“Yeah?”

“Is something different between you and Buck?”

Eddie’s still-too-slow brain doesn’t process what his son means to ask, because he simply shrugs. “No, why?”

“Because he kissed you.”

Eddie’s about to ask why that’s a problem when it hits him, and the breath whooshes out of his lungs.

He and Buck aren’t together.

Buck kissed him, and they’re not together, and by God, Eddie thought it was real.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, he’d fucked up.

“Oh my God,” he whispers to himself, his hands tightening on the steering wheel as his heart hammers wildly in his ribcage.

“Dad?” Chris asks, confusion ringing from his tone. “Are you okay?”

Not in the slightest.

“Uh, yeah, I think. Maybe? I just…don’t know what happened,” Eddie says truthfully, wincing as someone behind him honks. He presses on the accelerator on auto-pilot, trying to focus on the road and not the thoughts racing through his mind, pricking every inch of his skin.

Chris sighs, looking entirely put-out for some reason, but Eddie’s mind is still playing Buck’s tender touch in his head, the softness of his lips against his skin, and the gentle combing of his fingers through Eddie’s hair — things he’s only ever felt in dreams before this morning — and he doesn’t have the wherewithal to question his son any further.

They pull up to his school before Chris can say anything else, and from there, Eddie’s pushed right back into the reminder of his kid growing up as he watches all the parents hug their kids goodbye. He spots Shelly taking a million pictures of her twins — both looking endlessly exasperated — and finds himself grateful that Christopher endured his own batch of pictures at home without complaining too much.

Chris starts towards the school doors as soon as Eddie kisses his forehead, but then stops. Eddie waits by his car door, wondering if he forgot something, but what Chris says next knocks the wind out of his sails completely.

“Can you go home and kiss him for real? Please?”

Eddie’s mouth drops open, and whatever words he could’ve thought of evaporate off his tongue. Chris sees this and comes back to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Eddie bends to hug him closer.

“You want me to go kiss Buck?”

“I’ve been waiting years for you to get together, Dad,” Chris whispers, his little hand twisting in Eddie’s shirt. “He makes you happy, and I think we make him happy, too. Why can’t it be like that forever?”

Eddie exhales on a rush, pressing his lips to his kid’s head. “Yeah, he does. But it’s not just our choice, you know? Forever’s a long time. I have to talk to him about it.”

Chris nods, pulling away to grin confidently up at Eddie. “Yeah, but I know he’ll say yes.”

He has to laugh at that, smoothing his palm over Christopher’s curls — the ones that look so much like Buck’s as he grows older. Neither Eddie nor Shannon had curly hair, and Eddie thinks that maybe this is Buck’s universe telling Chris how to carry Buck with him.

“I’ll talk to him,” he says, not committing either way.

Chris seems confident enough for both of them, because he gives Eddie another hug before his attention is lost to a friend excitedly calling out to him. Eddie watches him go, students all around him rambling on about their summer vacations.

He drives back home on auto-pilot, far less careful than he’d been with Chris in the car.

Buck might’ve kissed Eddie first — on accident or not — but Eddie had kissed him back, and had leaned into his touch like he was starving for it. That, at the very least, hadn’t been an accident at all. He can’t plead the fifth on it, no matter how tired he’d been.

He parks in front of his house and stares at the four walls that house Buck’s fingerprints just as often as Eddie’s and Christopher’s. Then, he digs his phone out and flicks through all the pictures they’d taken this morning — the ones that made them late in the first place.

Buck grins up at him, clad in one of Eddie’s old shirts that stretches across his shoulders, and shorts that he’d left here last week. Christopher is wrapped tightly in his arms, and they’re both smiling at Eddie behind the camera as if they know that Eddie is made up of nothing but these two people.

Almost every picture in his camera roll has Buck. Not just the ones from this morning, but almost every memory from months and months ago has Buck written all over it in some capacity. Eddie doesn’t even remember explicitly inviting Buck to some of these things — it’s always understood that they’re a group of three, not two.

That’s the way it’d been last night, too, when Buck had wordlessly taken Eddie’s cue to come home with him, even at four in the morning. They’d only managed to sleep for a couple hours before the shuffle of Chris’ feet had woken Eddie up, and Eddie remembers waking up to see Buck snoring lightly next to him, grateful that he didn’t have to go through this emotional day alone.

There’s a large part of Eddie that seeks Buck out like magnets, turned to let each other connect, and it’s a part of him that he’s tried to reign in for years — years of working through the fear of what could happen if Buck knew that Eddie had fallen in love with him.

Now, he’s content to let the card fall where they may because it feels like an inevitable part of whatever brought them together in the first place. There’s not a part of Eddie that has ever been able to hide what Buck means to him — and especially not to the person who knows him best.

But when he finally climbs out of his truck and swings his front door open to see Buck pacing the living room, still in his pajamas, his hair a scrunched mess of anxiety like he’d spent hours yanking on the ends, Eddie realizes that maybe he hadn’t been as obvious to him.

Buck’s head snaps towards Eddie as soon as he walks in, and Eddie’s heart breaks at the red-rimmed gaze, the clear fear on his face.

“Buck,” he whispers.

Sometime between now and Eddie leaving to drop Chris off, it clearly dawned on Buck what he’d done, and it’d scared him.

Eddie smiles as comfortingly as he can manage, shutting the door behind him and sliding his keys into the bowl on the entrance table.

Buck stands stock-still in the middle of the living room, tracking each of Eddie’s movements like he’ll never see them again, and Eddie can’t have that at all.

“What did you do to yourself?” he murmurs, not expecting a response as he reaches out to smooth some of his curls back in place, his thumb tracing one tear track. Buck’s a hurricane of barely-restrained emotion right now, but Eddie’s standing in the eye of the storm and he knows Buck won’t let any of it touch him.

Some of the stiffness in Buck’s shoulders ebbs at Eddie’s touch, and instead of fear, Buck watches him cautiously. His eyes are wide in his face, twin pools of sea carrying Eddie afloat, and his mouth is downturned.

“Eddie, I’m so sor—”

“Did you mean it?” Eddie interrupts, not wanting to hear apologies for what is probably the softest moment of his life. Buck had touched him as if his edges weren’t battle-hardened, as if Eddie deserves to be touched like one holds a flower, and he’d done it without even thinking.

Eddie doesn’t need more proof of reciprocity than that.

Buck freezes in place, stormy eyes glossing over with hope as he takes in Eddie’s question. “Yeah. Yeah, I did, but I didn’t want to kiss you for the first time like that.”

Relief flutters over Eddie’s shoulders, and he steps closer to Buck, wrapping his fingers around his wrists. Buck’s pulse pounds like it’s trying to reach for him, and Eddie’s pulse responds in kind, beating through his fingers like they could be one in this way.

“Then kiss me like you wanted to.”

The last of the stiffness leaves Buck’s shoulders as he steps the rest of the way into Eddie’s face, his eyes searching every inch of Eddie’s expression across the bare inches that separate them. “Yeah?”

Eddie laughs quietly, pressing his thumb into where the divot that curves around Buck’s laugh lines deepens, right at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, Buck.”

He feels stripped naked under the blazing intensity of those blue eyes, but it’s a feeling he embraces as the hope in Buck’s gaze shifts into determination — a look that burns itself in the back of Eddie’s mind.

It’s all he gets out before Buck’s mouth is on his, the space between them evaporating into this intensity where Buck’s hands are cradling his jaw, one large palm holding Eddie’s head in place. Eddie’s hands fall to where Buck’s pulse flutters in his throat, cupping the sides of his neck as they kiss.

Buck tilts his head to deepen the kiss and it’s all Eddie can do to not press himself from head to toe against him. Buck tastes like maple syrup, coffee and blueberries but Eddie tastes home and the future all in one, and he tastes the years that stretch between them from what’s your problem, man to yeah, Buck, and he tastes the reasons Chris was as confident as he was that Buck wouldn’t let him shatter at the end of it all.

Eddie feels the cards falling exactly where they should be as they kiss right in the middle of Eddie’s living room, Buck’s arms curving around his waist to hold him closer, then up his back to press him closer still.

By the time they separate, their lips have gone dry, but Eddie doesn’t let Buck go far regardless.

Buck’s sigh ghosts across Eddie’s skin as his temple rests against Eddie’s. “I thought I’d messed up forever.”

“Why’d you think I’d ever let you fall alone?” Eddie whispers, one hand twining into Buck’s curls. They’re pressed as close as two people standing can be, but it doesn’t feel like enough — it never does.

Buck doesn’t reply but Eddie knows the answer.

Instead, he pulls Buck closer by the back of his neck, pressing a kiss to the same divot he’d been tracing. “Everyone in my life knows how much I love you, and I thought you did, too. I couldn’t hide it even if I tried, and honestly, I’m tired of having to hide it.”

Buck pulls back with his eyes wide, trembling hands coming up to cup Eddie’s face. Buck kisses him once, then twice, a tremor of a laugh cutting under his voice as he says, “I love you, too. I don’t ever want you to hide from me, Eddie, I love you.”

Eddie grins widely at him, because even though he’d been sure, something in him needed the words, too. “Chris is going to be so smug when he gets back home.”

Buck groans, laughing lightly. “I didn’t mean to kiss you for the first time in front of your son.”

“Well, he thought it was real. And until he told me, I didn’t even realize that it was an accident.” Eddie recounts his conversation with Chris to him, and the look of awe that takes over Buck’s expression when Eddie tells him that Chris wanted them to kiss for real — and has apparently been waiting years for it — makes Eddie fall in love with him all over again.

“It was real,” Buck murmurs quietly. “It was an accident, yeah, because I was still half-asleep and stuck in the middle of a really good dream where we do all of that, but it was still real.”

Eddie tugs him that last half-inch closer until he can press their mouths back together. “Now, we can do all of that when you’re awake.”

Buck smiles and it’s the best thing Eddie’s ever tasted.

But he laughs a few minutes later when Buck’s yawn breaks their kiss, and is reminded that they’re both still coming down from two hours of sleep after an exhausting shift, and an even more emotionally-exhausting morning. “Okay, I get the hint. Want to go nap?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Buck grumbles good-naturedly. He looks happier than he had ten minutes ago, and that’s what Eddie focuses on as Buck slots their fingers together to tug him into his bedroom.

The sheets are still rumpled from both of them climbing out of bed this morning, but Eddie has to laugh as Buck slides into his side of Eddie’s bed. “You think we did any of this backwards?”

Buck’s quiet amusement washes over him, and Eddie comes to life under the fondness that shines in his expression. “Not sure I would’ve figured it out even after all of this.”

Eddie had always been content with staying in love with his best friend without letting him know, but for months, there’d been a sense of inevitably blooming right alongside the hope in his chest. He knows that he wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret forever, but he’d dangerously begun to hope that maybe, it was the same for Buck.

It’s Eddie’s turn to yawn, but he drags Buck into his arms, turning him over until Eddie can press his forehead to the nape of Buck’s neck. “You would’ve, eventually. We would’ve gotten here.”

Buck’s hand comes to interlace with where Eddie’s is pressed against his chest. Eddie can’t see him like this, but he can hear the smile in Buck’s voice as they drift off. “Yeah, we would’ve.”

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inevitably-johnlocked · 1 year

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Any (preferably) parentlock fics that include John accidentally giving Sherlock a goodbye kiss or something like that? Thank you!

Hey Nonny!

I actually do! I was asked a similar question back in 2020, so I'll post the fics from that post here:

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They've been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

The Heart In The Whole by verityburns (E, 101,650 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Drama & Angst, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Blind Sherlock) – Events after ‘The Great Game’ leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own…

the napoleon by darcylindbergh(E, 24,823 w., 4 Ch. || 1980′s AU || Halloween, Action & Romance, Costumes, Costume Parties/Masquerades, Mutual Pining, First Kiss / Time) – Halloween, 1989: John and Sherlock both have big plans for the night, but serial killers have the worst possible timing.

------

I'm sure there's a tonne more; I know that I've come across them in my fake and ambiguous relationship fics, I just never kept track of them, LOL.

If y'all have more to add, please do!! <3

#steph replies #johnlock fic reqs #help steph find fics #accidental kisses #ambiguous relationships

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ragnarlothcat · 2 years

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Accidental kissing set in the canon universe is truly an underexplored trope in obikin fan fiction! &what a tragedy that is! Obiwan+anakin frantically searching for the other on a seppie ship that’s about to go down only to run around a corner from opposite directions &collide with one another &holy shit! Did we just touch lips?Taking cover behind a dismantled clanker&one of them turns their head to shout an idea into the others ear &instead accidentally brushes lips against their cheek? Delish

You are so right. I've never even thought about it myself! But there is untapped potential here, which you have cleverly identified. I think it pairs nicely with a very romantic Anakin who places a great deal of importance on a kiss, accidental or otherwise. Maybe Anakin expects to feel gross about the kiss because he only kisses people he is in love with. But then he realizes he doesn't feel gross and isn't that interesting? That kissing Obi-Wan, even briefly and mid-mission, felt strangely good?

I don't know what Obi-Wan is doing in this scenario, but I assume he's at least a little moved too because Anakin's lips are meant for kissing (or for--)

#asks #anon #obikin #accidental kisses #very interesting idea #they would also probably collide noses but that's cute too #first kisses are often messy #especially if they happen while you're being actively shot at #(i assume)

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lizanx · 3 months

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Accidental kisses in a poorly lit kitchen Lead to something sweeter than a simple friendship And I’ll take all the “I-told-you-so’s” Since I get to hold you close You’ve been all I wanted for the longest time I’m delighted to finally call you mine

#friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #accidental kisses #pining #romance #booksbooksbooks #books #poem by me #love songs #original song #original lyrics #lyricist #songwriter #lovers #my music #original poem #original writing

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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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so how about that durge

#tw blood #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #halsin silverbough #the dark urge #durgestarion #if you know the song we can kiss on the mouth #this is ashe he’s a terrible creature #the bardiest bard to ever bard who makes astarion look SUNKISSED #he really said ‘if i have to be murder incarnate i should at least do it with style and panache’#my guy killed an elder brain and several gods in heels and corseted to hell #fun fact: before i played durge. didn't know about the bhaalspawn thing #accidentally made the most bhaalspawn looking fuck i possibly could

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khickuwa · 7 days

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the mark you leave behind.

#art #artist #fanart #comic #alien stage #alien stage round 6 #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #ivantill #thinking about ivan accidentally biting till in actor au during the kiss scene.... but what if that happened in canon as well....#till forgive ivan for being an inexperienced kisser (he's unalive)#pls forgive the second panel i think the perspective there looks a bid janky... i couldn't bother plotting proper perspective grids

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spacedace · 8 months

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Thinking about the untapped comedic potential of the Batfam explaining to new hero in Gotham & literal ghost Phantom that they don't kill people.

And Danny, professional menace, responding with "What? You guys have a problem with dead people or something?" In the most serious, insulted voice he can manage just to watch them squirm.

(Jason is having a great time)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #danny phantom #batfam #danny fenton #jason todd #i just think it'd be funny #like danny *knows* why they don't kill people - *he* doesn’t kill people either #but also the look on their faces as they think they've just accidentally insulted their new ghost friend #just *chefs kiss* keeps his gremlin heart fed for weeks #please take this as a prompt by the by #dp x dc prompt

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inkskinned · 9 months

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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steddiecameraroll · 2 days

Text

Steve’s not paying attention. He’s in his head thinking about who knows what, when he hands Eddie a can of Coke.

“Thanks,” Eddie hums while Steve plops down beside him on the couch.

And then it happens.

Steve, without a thought in his head, leans over and presses a kiss to Eddie’s temple.

Before he’s completely pulled back he realizes his mistake.

“Uh, thanks?” Eddie’s lips are pursed like he’s fighting back saying a whole lot more.

“Shit,” Steve’s still positioned halfway between sitting down and leaning in.

“It’s ok, dude.” Eddie tries to hold his soda casually. “We’ve all done it.” But Eddie scrunches his face like he doesn’t even believe his lie.

“No, uh, I don’t-I don’t know why I did that.” Except he does.

He’s been thinking about kissing Eddie for months. He’s been wondering how soft the man’s lips are, or if he’d be gentle or rough when kissing Steve back.

The lie feels like a lead balloon in his gut.

“No big deal, Harrington. In fact, I’ll kiss you. Even the score.”

“Wha-?” Eddie’s lips cut Steve off with the most awkward kiss Steve’s ever experienced.

But.

It’s Eddie’s lips pressing against Steve’s and Steve doesn’t want to waste this insane opportunity so he kisses back. The action must surprise Eddie because he stalls his lips for a brief second before he’s surging forward like a man starved for more.

They’re interrupted by a clearing of a throat.

“Wha-what is happening here?” Robin stands at the end of the couch, returning from the bathroom with her arms crossed.

Eddie’s eyes widen and he pulls away from Steve’s lips slowly.

“Uh, well? I owed Steve for…” he looks around for any kind of answer, then notices the can in his hand. “My soda!”

Robin stares at him incredulously. “I’ll get my own drinks from now on.”

#accidental first kiss #I love idiots to lovers #steddie #my writing #steddie ficlet #steddiecameraroll posts #steddie fanfic

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steddiealltheway · 6 months

Text

The upside down is colder than Steve remembers.

To be fair, he only wearing a vest, pants, and no shoes at the moment, and he may be actively bleeding out even with the bandages because of the damn bats but… he just doesn’t remember it being this cold.

He probably didn’t spend long enough in the tunnels to truly get a feel for things. But now that he’s fully here, he can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Will.

The place is dark enough to even give Steve nightmares although he has Robin, Nancy, and Eddie at this side. How did Will survive with no one?

Steve looks down and carefully steps over a vine as he makes his way through the woods. Did Will ever step on-

“Is this a bad time to mention that I haven’t kissed anyone?”

Steve and the girls turn to Eddie, giving him looks of confusion at the random outburst.

Eddie keeps walking, staring at the ground as he tries not to activate the hive mind. “I’m just saying, it kind of feels like the end of the world here, and it makes you think. Like, do I really want to die a virgin? Not really, but dying without kissing anyone… I feel like that’s a bigger problem in my book.”

Robin and Nancy share the same look of confusion mixed with an air of why are you talking to us about this? But Steve thinks he gets the nervous rambling. He wouldn’t want to die unkissed either.

Eddie slowly stops and turns around, finally noticing that the three of them stopped when he made his first comment. He just stares at them for a moment before sighing, “Forget I said anything. I just hate walking in silence with all these thoughts of impending doom.”

With that, the girls start walking again, quickly catching up to Eddie, but Steve struggles as he thinks a little too hard about what Eddie said instead of thinking about not stepping on a vine. So he compromises speed for a very important thought.

Eddie wants to kiss someone. Probably. Definitely.

He can’t kiss Nancy because she’s with Jonathan, and Steve’s pretty sure Nancy would not be the greatest choice of a first kiss - since she would be unenthusiastic.

And Robin… well. She would be equally as unenthusiastic, probably even more so.

And really, everyone must be thinking the same thing. Because there’s one obvious solution.

“I’ll kiss you,” Steve announces as he steps over a vine. He watches as the three of them freeze in front of them, and Eddie almost even trips on a vine.

Once he catches up to them, Steve says, “It’s the clear solution to the problem.”

Robin shoots him a look of bewilderment and mouthes what??

Steve just looks away from her. It’s not a crazy thought really. Eddie wants to kiss someone before the world maybe ends, and Steve is just a really generous person who would like- enjoy- no, volunteer very very generously to help the good cause.

“You’re kidding, right?” Eddie asks.

And oh. Steve hadn’t really thought about how Eddie might not want to kiss him. Shit. He shakes his head. “I’m not kidding, but I wouldn’t do it unless you wanted to. And it’s okay that you don’t. Let’s just keep going.”

Eddie reaches out and grabs his arm. “I never said that I didn’t want to,” he says quickly.

Steve’s pretty sure he hears Robin snort at the comment, and he can sees Nancy trying to hide an amused smile behind her hand. He ignores them and puts his hands on his hips. “Alright.”

“Okay,” Eddie says.

They both stare at each other not moving.

“We’re going to give you some space,” Robin says, grabbing Nancy’s hand and pulling her deeper into the woods.

Steve doesn’t pay much attention to them as they walk away, he’s too busy staring at Eddie. And yeah, he’s a good looking guy. He knew that from high school whenever he would go on his rants, and Steve had an excuse to stare. And really the thought of kissing him is definitely not the worse and actually… he’s kind of looking forward to it, if the fast beating of his heart is any indication.

Eddie though, he looks… scared. Maybe just nervous. But his expression definitely isn’t in any way happy.

Steve takes a step toward him and softly says, “We don’t have to do this, okay? And it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Eddie shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. “It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just… you’re Steve Harrington.”

“And?”

“And that name means something. And it shouldn’t be tangled up with my name.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at him. “I’m pretty sure we already crossed that line a while ago.”

“But you know what I mean,” Eddie sighs, looking at the ground.

Yeah, he does know what he means. But… “The world might end. I think there are stranger things than you and me kissing.”

Eddie shakes his head. “I think that would be the most shocking thing out of all of this.”

“Then get ready for me to rock your world, Munson,” Steve says with a smirk, stepping closer and brushing a curly strand of hair out of his face.

Eddie takes a deep breath and settles his hands on Steve’s waist above the wounds he’s forgotten about. “Is this… okay?”

Steve nods and wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. “Yeah. Is this?”

Eddie just hums mhm, his eyes get a little wider and his cheeks flush a deeper pink.

Steve can’t help but look over Eddie’s face, taking in what he looks like at the closer proximity when he’s allowed to look. His eyes wander down to where Eddie’s full lips are slightly parted as if they’re just waiting for him to kiss them. But Steve looks back into Eddie’s dark eyes, searching for hesitation but only sending nerves and anticipation.

“I like that you’re the same height as me,” Steve randomly blurts out.

“Why’s that?”

Steve feels a blush creep up his neck. “Because my neck won’t strain when I kiss you.” Eddie laughs, and Steve decides that if the world really is coming to an end, he should be fully honest. “Plus, it’s easier to look at your eyes when they’re at my level.”

Eddie’s grin turns into a soft smile. His eyes glance down at Steve’s lips.

He knows the moment has come. “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay,” Eddie says, leaning in closer.

Steve smiles before closing the distance between them and kissing Eddie slowly as if they have all the time in the world. He breaks the kiss and pulls back enough to take in Eddie's expression - eyebrow raised in astonishment, lips slightly parted, and eyes still closed.

And yeah, they might not make it to tomorrow, plus Eddie looks hot. So, Steve doesn’t pull away. Instead, he kisses him again, this time with much more fervor and… yes, tongue. Sue him. He just wants to make Eddie’s first (and second) kiss memorable.

Eddie’s hands press into Steve’s back, pulling him closer as Steve slows the kiss, needing air. He pulls back and breathes in deep, staring at Eddie’s kiss swollen lips and feeling… many things.

But instead of giving into those feelings, Steve just pats Eddie on the arm and says, “See, you’re a natural.” As soon as he walks away, Steve wants one of the vines to drag him far far away so he doesn’t have to think about what he just said. Christ. He’s not smooth.

As soon as he catches up to Robin, she practically yanks him back so Eddie and Nancy can wander off out of earshot.

Steve crosses his arms and stares at her. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me. You know exactly what this is about,” Robin says, jabbing a finger into his chest.

Steve winces. “Okay. Yes. I kissed Eddie. But what else was I supposed to do? Make you or Nance kiss him? No way.”

“You realize that he was just thinking out loud, right? You turned his thought into an invitation.”

Steve shrugs and walks toward the other two, trying to make sure they don’t go too far. “It sounded like an invitation to me,” he says with a shrug.

“I’m sure it did,” Robin mutters.

Steve turns to glare at her.

Robin sighs and lays a hand on his arm. “You can talk to me, you know? Even if you’re in the process of figuring things out and can’t get a true read of things.”

Steve turns and looks back at Eddie, noting how his heart beats a little faster and his body wants more than anything to get closer to him. He looks back and Robin and asks, “How obvious am I being?”

The tension in Robin’s shoulder goes away slightly at the question, and she smiles. “With the ‘you’re a natural’ comment? Totally fooled. No one would guess a thing.”

Steve’s jaw drops. “You were watching that?”

“How could I not? And do I regret it?” Robin pauses before answering her question, “A little when you started using tongue.”

“Jesus, Robin,” Steve says, trying to sound annoyed, but he can’t help but laugh.

Robin smiles and nudges him. “It seems like you have a type.”

Steve raises an eyebrow before he looks to where Robin is staring. He watches as Nancy and Eddie talk quietly about something, both sharing a small smile, amusement evident in their big round eyes, and dark, curly hair framing their faces. Maybe Robin has a point.

“Maybe I do,” Steve says as Eddie glances back at him and smiles. When he turns back, Steve asks Robin, “Do you think we could talk more about it when we’re not in an alternate dimension, and I have time to think about things?”

“Of course,” Robin says and squeezes his arm. “But for now, I’m going to give you things to think about!” she announces before running ahead to Nancy and quickly starting some type of hushed conversation.

Steve looks at where Eddie lingers behind the girls and quickly runs up to him, deciding maybe he can figure things out now. And maybe he can verbally thank him for saving his ass instead of just kissing him and hoping he gets the message.

Gosh, he doesn’t know if he can get through this without getting distracted by his lips. But he’s going to try.

(And he’s going to fail)

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie ficlet #stranger things #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #did I just accidentally sort of make this canon compliant?#maybe #do i regret it?#not at all #now I’m just going to insist this is a deleted scene #because it is #they kissed your honor

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