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#a statche in time
rubys-forest · 18 days
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The return of Queenie‼️‼️‼️
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Just a simple full body of her. Will draw more stuff soon.
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malfunctioning-mantis · 9 months
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nessa.... <3
@rubys-forest
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marioyuri · 2 years
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Actually does daffy even have a father. I know he mentions his mom and calls her mother mallard or whatever and that in the looney tunes show he has a grandma and also mentioned how his parents fought until he left the house (probably divorced) and in the daffy comics he has a sister and a nephew which also shows up in the looney tunes shorts but sometimes hes depicted as an orphan or that his mom abandoned him for being ugly. Obviously none of this is consistent bc its looney tunes and they just play roles needed for the joke but i think it would be fun to figure out a constant just for the hell of it. We know daffys divorced with several women and has about 40 kids too
#im gonna say his parents divorced when he was born and his mom kicked him out of the house for being a disappointment but his sister still#loved him and helped him#seems like a decent recap of everything#stayed a bit at his grandmas and then his sisters and then he got married young because he was desperate and then had kids got divorced#most or his wives in the shorts were fucking horrible pieces of shit but his first wife was good :)#but since the majority sucked this wife has to suck sorry#or we can go with the don rosa comic and make that wife della duck who tbh sucked also so#also explaine how she married young and had kids young and abandoned them at donalds house after their sent their dad to the hospital#like u know daffys acme statch dynamite kids prank goes wrong hes hospitalised della goes this is fucking insane and realises she isnt fit#to be a mom especially to insane people#also the marriage sucked so she takes this opportunity to run away and live her pilot dreams or whatever#> daffy is probably deemed unfit to keep custody of kids so donald gets it full#etc etc#literally writes itself#also idk how the law works but daffy has been like called clinically insane since his first appearance (or 2nd i forgot)#overall hes lost custody of his kids whenever he wanted to or not#and i think its worth pointing out that despite his piece of shit behaviour in every short hes loved his kids very much#he has protested about his wives wanting more kids but most of the time yhose wives were dogshit people and that he couldnt afford another#and i mean piece of shot women who made him have well over 10 kids even if he didny want it u know i think he’s justified for once#he’s suprisingly well adjusted and morally correct as a father ? despite his flaws#like his wrongs revolving kids were mostly being so worried that his babies didnt hatch he started drinking and then went to save his baby#from hawks while drunk and won#gheres also doing magic tricks with an egg and accidentally losing it so his wife was gonna divorce him for it RIGHTFULLY SO#and he gets so overly depressed about losing his kid and his wife leaving him that his only defence in court was begging dor another chance#to find his child which he does! and the divorce is cancelled#also the entier comicwith his nephew. hes so fucking kind despite the kid fucking up his whole house#he does get mad st the end though but they work it out#the one where he and a crocodile father fight bc hid egg fell in their nest and they each thought the other tried to steal their baby#i was genuinely surprised at how good a dad hes been ????#daffy duck
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He did not know quite how he got roped into cleaning up his image this looked like a completely different person now saved from the colour palette of red and black.
Varya had watched Quilda for a while he had even suggested Glorfindel go over to her but the Lord turned it down, so now here he was bowed with his hand extended Infront of her “Part of me wishes court would carry such whimsy on a regular basis, would my lady wish for a dance to clear her head even for a moment” Varya said glancing up at her from his bow
-@varyano-horseman-of-mandos
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Quildalótien watched the dancing for a long time – hoping to get out there. But her anxiety and fear kept her from doing do.
Her had made sure to get a well covered dress – to cover the marks all over her both from ex-betrothed but she still felt exposed, contasntly picking st the ends of her sleeves or pulling it up.
The powerless valars’ daughter constantly statched her hands out of the nervousness – lining heavy marks on her sensitive skin.
She jumped on her swar when someone approached her – and watched him with wife fearful eyes until he spoke and a familiar voice reached her ears.
“V-Varyano. . .?”
She whispered weakly and lacking all the confidence she once had. She was about to call him Varya but she was not sure if she was now deserving of it.
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virtie333 · 5 months
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Day 10 - Life Day Damerey Celebration
Prompt: Celebration
Summary: Poe and Rey celebrate Life Day their own way.
Warnings: Ooops! They took over this one. They were getting tired of the lack of smut. So... this is rated Explicit. MDNI
AO3
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It was only their third Life Day as a couple and they almost didn’t get to spend it together.
Rey had been offworld on a peacekeeping mission for over three weeks. It was supposed to be an easy assignment. New Republic advisors had already laid ground for the peace talks between the Statches and the Aeoliahs, but once Rey arrived both sides had suddenly demanded more from the settlement. Rey learned later that both species had esteemed the Jedi and were trying to prove to her that they were better than the other. In the end, Rey had finally helped them reach a prudent arrangement that would hopefully maintain peace between the two for a long time to come.
She arrived back on Yavin IV in the afternoon, just in time to join in on the annual celebration. Not only was the whole colony gathered to eat and drink and be merry, but several of Rey and Poe’s friends from the Resistance were there to take part in the festivities. Friendships created during war tended to last a lifetime.
Rey landed her little cruiser on the Dameron family landing pad, then rushed to the empty house to shower and change. Wearing a lovely little green dress that she had picked up while on her trip, she jumped in the speeder and headed into the village.
Wetyin’s Colony was lit up already with bright lights that Rey knew would look amazing after the sun set. Decorations representing the local traditions of several species bedecked every corner, as well as most trees and bushes. An open-sided tent had been set up with tables in case it started to rain, and food was being prepared almost non-stop, but those who weren’t currently eating were out and about in the village square, drinking and laughing and singing. There was a live band in front of the local grocery, and several people were dancing.
Rey found her friends easily, as Chewie’s tall form stood out among the crowd. He was the first to see her and immediately wrapped her up in a hug, lifting her feet off the ground. Beau, Kay, Jess, and Karè also swooped in for hugs; she hadn’t seen any of them in almost a year! Finn and Rose followed them. Rey saw them frequently, as they had both finally settled right here in Wetyin’s Colony. After spending almost two years with Lando and Janna helping former stormtroopers find their homes and families, they had finally married and planned to start a family here on Yavin IV.
Rey and Poe had already beaten them in that department; Rey was currently three months pregnant. Nobody but Finn, Rose, and Kes knew and since Rey wasn’t showing, yet, she was content to keep that secret for the time being.
As she was laughing at something Jess was saying, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. Rey tilted her head to the side, welcoming her husband’s wet kiss on her neck.
“Sorry I’m late,” she told him, lacing her fingers with his as they lay over her still flat belly.
“You made it,” he said softly in her ear. “That’s all that matters.”
The party continued on as the afternoon waned and the sun set. The bright orb of Yavin still lit up the sky, preventing complete darkness, but no one complained. Rey and Poe ate, danced, spent time with old friends and new, and ate some more. Never once did they leave each other’s side, and they never stopped touching. By mid-evening, Rey was exhausted, but still wired. Her trip had been long, and while she loved spending time here with her extended family celebrating Life Day, she ached to spend some time alone with her husband even more. As they danced together one more time, she gave him a meaningful look.
No words were needed; Poe understood.
Without any hesitation, they both left the dance area and headed for the edge of the village where Rey had parked their speeder. Rey drove, as Poe had had more than a little alcohol this evening, and within twenty minutes they were home.
“BB8’s gonna be mad we left him and DO behind,” Poe said as he pulled Rey through the front door, nuzzling her neck.
“He probably won’t even notice for hours,” Rey answered, rubbing herself against Poe’s front. He groaned in response.
“That’s a beautiful dress, by the way,” he said just before he began to suck on that spot just below her ear. She shivered in response, her body already prepped and ready thanks to their constant touching all evening. “I can’t wait to take it off.”
“You don’t have to take if off right away,” she answered. Grasping his elbows, she backed up until her butt hit the edge of his desk. She shimmied up onto it, spreading her legs.
His eyebrows shot up as he slid up against her. “A little desperate tonight, aren’t you?”
“Pregnancy hormones,” she responded. “And more than three weeks away from you.”
“Kriff!” he breathed harshly. “I missed you!” He began kissing her, opened mouthed and wet, rocking his pelvis against her core.
Rey pulled her skirt up and out of the way, then began working at his belt and fly, grateful the war was over and he no longer wore a blaster on a regular basis; quickies like this had been almost impossible back in the day when they were both heavily armed. She still carried her lightsaber almost all the time, but it was clipped to her belt and easy to remove when needed.
And it wasn’t in the way tonight.
As Rey gently pulled Poe’s mostly erect cock out of his pants, he took a quick step backwards, taking her panties with him. She hadn’t even felt his hands move that low; she had been so focused on her own task.
“Smooth, Dameron,” she smiled as he quickly moved back between her legs, pushing her skirt back up as it had fallen when he stepped back.
One of his hands fondled her pussy, and he closed his eyes and moaned. “So kriffin’ ready for me,” he whispered.
Rey threw her head back in response to his intimate touch. “Yes!” she hissed. “Poe, please! Now!”
“Yes, Ma’am,” he said with a grin. Taking his cock in hand, he lined himself up and slid home.
“Awwww, yeah!” Rey gasped, bringing her knees up and leaning back slightly, trusting that his arm around her back would keep her from falling all the way.
Poe stopped when he was all the way in, his eyes watching her intently.
Breathing harshly, Rey looked back at him, her skin tingling, her core throbbing. He filled her so absolutely full. “Poe?” she asked, wondering why he was so still.
“My Jedi,” he whispered. His eyes drifted down to where they were joined, then he focused on the lightsaber on her belt with a smirk. “My Jedi.”
Rey knew how turned on he got when he was able to fuck her while she still wore her lightsaber; it didn’t happen very often. “Your Jedi,” she confirmed. “Forever.”
His eyes met hers again. “Forever.” Then he began thrusting, his hips snapping into her over and over again.
The euphoria built once more, and Rey closed her eyes, letting herself go, not fighting the feelings, both physical and emotional, that this man created in her. After weeks of controlling her temper and remaining distant and formal, it was a relief to let herself go. Poe was the only person she opened herself up to completely, the only one she trusted enough to keep her emotions safe. She may be the guardian of the Jedi, but he was the champion of her heart.
Her release came seconds before his. She cried out, letting herself fall forward against him, feeling his arms wrap around her tight as his hips jerked erratically and he spilled himself inside her. For a long moment they simple held each other, panting, Rey’s legs wrapped tight around Poe’s waist, his cock still buried deep inside her.
Finally, Rey lifted her head to look at her husband. “Happy Life Day,” she said with a smile.
Laughing, Poe hugged her once more. “Happy Life Day, Sunshine.”
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sunnycore · 14 days
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Rattlesnake is a Southern Rock band that becomes rivals to The Wandering Cryptids. Their story is rife with success, controversy and tragedy, all of which leads them to legendary status.
The band's heavily inspired by The Allman Brothers Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Mountain and Molly Hatchet. You can listen to their playlist here! You can read more about the band under the cut:
Dale Gator-Dale is the oldest of the Gator brothers, and is the band's rhythm guitarist. He's a gentle giant with a big heart, and he tends to be too trusting and naive. He often serves as a peacemaker.
Doug Gator-Doug is the second oldest brother and is the lead singer/keyboardist. He's hot headed and strong willed, which often gets him into trouble. He's subconscious about his small stature and gets mad when people bring it up.
Rory Gator-Rory is the youngest of the Gator brothers and is the lead guitarist. He's very creative, optimistic and hyper, and tends to get himself into mischief. Rory is socially awkward, but he can be very friendly when he's comfortable enough.
Daniel Blackstone-Daniel is a close friend of Dale's and is the rhythm guitarist and sometimes lead guitarist. He's a stoic and reserved guy, often coming off as unfriendly. Really Daniel can be very nice, but he has a hard time trusting people.
Statch Walkman-Statch is another friend of the brothers and the second bassist. Statch is a moody guy who acts like he doesn't like or care about anyone, even though he very much does.
Bill Rommer-Bill is a friend of Daniel's and Statch's, and is the band's lead bassist. He's a quiet, chill dude that rarely talks and has a fascination for cars and motorcycles. He's the smartest one in the entire group.
Mojo Lerezzo-Mojo is the band's leading drummer and percussionist. He's a very extroverted, bombastic guy who loves to party and have fun. He can be gruff sometimes but he's also a kind-hearted man.
Lamar Williams II-Lamar is the second drummer of the band. He's one of those guys that's way too nice for his own good and is pretty much a golden retriever in human form. Lamar is very passive and tries to avoid conflict as much as possible.
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I really love these guys. For the first time in forever I actually feel inspired to work on these dudes and their story, thanks to their redesigns. Sometimes you gotta fix characters several times before you get them right. :D I'll upload their Toyhouse pages once they're done.
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minzart · 10 months
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Donut, masks and present for the twins 👁〰️👁
Also good morning, gay gay homossexual gay gau gay gay tchola
🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?
Phobos: any cold drink. Brain freezer
Deimos: give this boy a hot chocolate drink and he will give you candy he has statched for favorite people only
🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?
Phobos and Deimos don't really act that diferent from strangers to friends, they have a public image to mantein and it's easier to do so if you act like yourself like 80% of the time. However if you are closer to them you will see them when they need comfort wich could be a sweet moment... or extremely annoying bc it's a lie and they just need attention
🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?
They both love more giving than receiving gifts
However there is a secret competition between them of wich twin gains more than the other
Both will cherish any crappy handmade present more than an expensive ass one thats for sure (that one is +10 point of valor intead of 1 :] )
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kaitlynmeh · 5 months
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Little Inferno Combos
Bike Pirates toy pirate + wood bicycle
Someone else's: someone else's credit card + someone else's family portrait
Springtime: Instant Seed pack + Alarm clock
Generations: Spider Egg + someone else's family portrait
Lenders: someone else credit card + Blankity Bank
Movie Night: Corn on the cob +Television
Seafarers: toy pirate + oil barge.
Building block: building blocks + ordinary bricks
Firebreathers: Antiki Torch + Pyranosauraus Plushie
Dino-mite: Pyranosauraus Plushie + Disgruntled EIf Plushie
Watching You: Television + Wandering Eye
Double Fan: Space heater + Cold Metal Heart
Terrible Teeth: Eager Bunny Plushie + Toy Leprechaun
Time bomb: Alarm Clock + Mini Nuke
LoL Kitty: Wandering Eye + Kitty Kitty Poo Poo
Catfish: Kitty Kitty Poo Poo + Blowfish
Bear in a china Shop: Feelings Bear Plush + Fragile China
Dinnerware: Wood Spoon + Fragile China
Cornflakes: Corn on the cob + Tooth "N" Corn flakes breakfast
Deadly Fish: Blow fish + Discounted Sushi
Wake up!: Alarm Clock + Coffee
Iced Coffee: Coffee + Dry Ice
Easter Bunny: Egg Pack + Eager Bunny Plushie
Liquid diet: Future Fizz + Coffee + Midlife Crisis Mitigator.
Egg Sack: Spider Egg + Locust Egg
Freaked Out: Marshmallows + Coffee + Toaster
Wooden Blocks: Letter blocks + Building Blocks + Tetronimos
Arachnid: Spider Egg + Giant Spider
Zombie Garden: Instant Seed Pack + Toy Zombie
Eggcellent: Egg Pack + Phoenix Egg
Puzzling Adventure: Tetronimos + Gentleman Adventure Doll
Magnetic Heart: Broken heart + cold metal Heart
World of goo: goo ball + Casual game
Airplane Mode: Cellphone + handheld fireplace + Gaming tablet
Under Water: Blowfish + Miss Hexopus
Meta: handheld fire place + beta version
Pixel Pixelated. Pixel pack + beta version
Japanese: Discounted Sushi + Toy Ninja
Brains Ahoy: Toy Zombie + Toy Pirate + Toy Ninja
Rosy: Valkyrie Doll + Gravity Boy Action Toy
Howl at the moon: Howling Coyote + Mini Moon
Cat Lady: Kitty- Boo Poo + Old Lady Doll
Elderly Couple: Old Lady Doll + Gentleman Adventurer Doll
Terrible Mystery: The Terrible Secret + Mystery Seasoning
Change the Bulb: Fragile Bulbs + Modern Lamp
Cold Water: Uncle Sam's Blam Blams + Russian Nest Dolls
Framed: Little Inferno Collector Poster + Someone else's Family
Portrait + Oil Painting
Writer's Block: Letter Blocks + Word Pack
Stop, drop & Roll: Smoke Detector + Fire Extinguisher
Colourful Flare: Zesty Beetles + Beta Version + Powder Barrel
Pollinating: Instant Seed Pack + Cacoon
Cat Bath: Kitty Kitty Poo Poo Plushie + Dish Detergent
Clean Plate: Fragile China + Dish Detergent
Orchestral: Valkyrie Doll + Cello
Moonlight Melody: Mini Moon + Cello
Medicated Midlife: Midlife Crisis Mitigator + Medicated Mommy Pills
Pill Popper: Best Friend Supplement Pills + Medicated Mommy Pills
Bearskin Rug: Feelings Bear Plush + Old Bear Trap
Fireworks: Uncle Sam's Blam Blams + Dynamite Daisy
Spinning Blades: Super Juicer 4000 + Drill Chain Thrower
Timber!: Drill Chain Thrower + Lumber jack hand + Manly Odor Spray
Pokerhand: Glass Cards + Lumberjack hand
Duck season: gaming tablet + Gaming Bush
Hunting: Old Bear Trap + Gaming Bush
Nuclear Shave: Mini Nike + Manly Razor
Brick & Mortar: Ordinary Brick + Unstable Ordinance
Texting girl: Cellphone + low Self-esteem Dall
Sorority Party: Low Self-esteem Doll + Balloons
Chain Puffer: Drill Chain Thrower + Puff Pack
Deadly Vice: Midlife Crisis Mitigator + Glass Cards + Puff Pack
Legal Charges: legal Briefcase + Someone else's Credit card
Body Builder: Manly Trophy + Protein Powder
Injection: Snake Surprise + Protein Powder
Deafening: Valkyrie Doll + Sonic Boom
Road Rage: Wooden Bicycle + Celebration Bus + Mustache Rider
Diseased: Toy leprechaun + Mystery Seasoning + Book of Darkness
Chain Email: Drill Chain Thrower + Email
Wood Applause: Lumberjack hand + Laser pointer
World Adventurer: Flaming Globe + Gentleman Adventurer Doll
Learning is Fun: Celebration bus + Rocket ship of Learning
Glasses & Statches: Fashionable Sunglasses + Mighty Mustache
Before the Internet: Television + Old Timey Radio
Sleeping Idol: Sleeping Idol + Triangle Idol + Rotund Idol
Ice Planet: Dry Ice + Mini Pluto
Heart & Soul: Cold Metal Heart + Transhumanist Action Figure
Yellow Brick Road: Kitty Kitty Poo Poo + Scarecrow + Transhumanist Action Figure
Planes & Trains Unstable Ordinance + railroad crossing (x-ing)
Robotic Futures: Clampy bots + Mom & Dad bots
Polar Bear: Feeling Bear Plushie + South Pole
Cardboard: limitation meatboy +Cardboard Sword + Decoy Ladybug
Sausage Factory: Sausage Links + Clone Factory
Book Club: the terrible secret + Book of Darkness + Creation Science
Spam cloud: Email + Internet Cloud
Online Piracy: Internet Cloud + Toy Pirate
It's a sign: Rail Road Crossing + this way down
sunflower: Instant seed Pack + Miniature Sun
Mini Milky way: Mini Moon + Mini Pinto + Mini Sun
Future's bright: Mini Sun + Fashionable Sunglasses
The End: Jar of Fireflies + Broken Magnet + Toy Exterminator + Fashionable Sunglasses
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simptasia · 3 years
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roast hurley IF YOU CAN
Hugo Reyes Has Done Nothing Wrong In His Life Ever
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slytherbun · 3 years
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care and comfort - ii. comfort
pairing: jasper x reader
summary: you're having an off day until jasper helps you feel better.
word count: 2.0k
requested by anon
tags: @specialagentsoftie @in-my-body-bag @evansandblack @runic-belova @whatafreakingloser
note: i was reading through my requests and thought it would be fun to make these two go together so this is part ii to a duet. here is part i called care.
another note: just to remind everyone, i made an oc named hayes to be alice's mate in this. :)
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the cullen house was quiet today. they kept themselves busy and away from jasper’s room.
edward was out in the woods saying goodbye to bella while emmett and hayes were in the garage to fix up the stereo in the jeep. they knew they were leaving soon and wanted to make sure there would be a decent selection of music while they were on the road.
out of wanting company, rose was a foot away from him and sitting on a stool while flicking through a magazine. alice and esme were watching a fashion television show. it was the one with dresses that people had to judge and knowing alice, she couldn’t pick which one she liked best.
carlisle was busy researching for work opportunities that he could apply for, so he sat in the desk chair of his office while skimming through applications on the computer.
meanwhile, jasper didn’t know what to do with himself.
he was standing in the kitchen and looking out the window with his hands resting in the pockets of his jeans. the rain was sprinkling outside despite the sun being out and he let out a small sigh at the confusing weather.
jasper glanced in the direction of the cabinets and walked over towards them to retrieve the chocolate hidden in the corner of the pantry. for occasions like this, the cullen men hid a statch for when their woman was upset.
right now you were in your shared room with jasper. you had him put drapes over the top of the windows awhile back for privacy if needed. like right now, you wanted that time to yourself so you had the material resting over the big open windows.
your hair was a knotted mess and a trashcan of tissues sat on the floor by the bed. you couldn’t help the sniffing and knew the whole house heard you hysterical and sorrowful earlier.
one thing you respected about jasper was that he never used his ability to change the way you feel. but you kind of wished he would use it to fix your emotional bubble of mess.
after rolling on your side and using your elbow strength to lean the weight of your body, you stretched your body over the length of the bed. this was so you could grab another handful of tissues from the box on your nightstand.
your nose ached but you wrapped the soft material around your nose and blew away your sadness again. you knew it was another episode but you couldn’t help it. a long sigh fell past your lips as you watched the tissue fall into the can.
you laid back on the bed with a red nose but you continued to tuck your arms under the dark grey comforter. after pulling it up to your chin so you felt as if you were drowning in the comfortable warmth of the blanket, you closed your teary, red eyes.
at times like these when your depression spiraled, you felt powerless and just downright awful for jasper. it must have been terrible for him to have the empathy power of a vampire because you knew when you were sad, he felt as if he were drowning in a black pit.
the perks of being jasper’s mate came with him being able to feel your emotions the most out of everybody. if you were feeling emotional—he felt it as well with you. this meant all of the cullen’s emotions were blocked out and you took the spot of each which made it almost unbearable for him when you were feeling like this.
jasper made his way up the stairs and prepared for the look on your face. feeling what you felt was one thing but also seeing the way it affected you, hurt him more than you’d ever know.
you’ve helped him through the blood thirst he struggled with when it came to being around humans. like the other day when he tried to throw himself at bella, he couldn’t have made it through the bloodlust without your help.
jasper didn’t know what he would do if you weren’t in his life so he always wanted to cheer you up whenever you were feeling down.
most of those moments you have are because of your troubling past. and because of that, sometimes you forget that you have people in your corner now. luckily, jasper reminded you of that fact, always being there for you like you are for him.
he knocked lightly on the door with three taps of his knuckles before moving to wrap his hand around the knob. “hey darlin’ it’s me.” jasper spoke even though you knew it was him.
he slowly opened the door since he didn’t want to alarm you while you were feeling upset.
jasper pushed it open just enough so he could walk in and then closed it again. he walked up to the bed after sweeping a hand through his dirty blonde hair and in his hand was a king-sized candy bar and you spotted it with a turn of your body to glance in his direction.
“hi jas.” you said meekly with a tired look on your face. he could see the bags under your eyes and frowned. your bottom lip quivered and you hoped it couldn’t see it when you tilted your head downwards.
you picked up the closest thing instead to look at and studied the faint stitching in the comforter with a trace of your finger.
the blonde vampire didn’t like to see you cower away from him and he put a finger under your chin to make it so you had to look at him.
almost the same light brown colored eyes stared back at you when you met his eyes due to the vampirism you both shared. “please don’t look away from me again, baby. you look beautiful and i can’t stand any more space away from you.”
a small sob fell past your lips at the sound of jasper’s vulnerable voice. his eyes teared up feeling useless and only wanting you to feel better and happier. 
with quick speed, jasper leaned his body forward to grab another tissue from the box and then leaned back on the bed to wipe the tear that was sliding down your cheek.
you silently thanked him with a smile and after a moment of silence, you sat up straight and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before speaking. “i know you can feel what i’m feeling now and i can’t begin to tell you how sorry i am.” you trailed off with a pause to find your words again. 
your throat felt heavy and constructed when you tried to swallow it down. feeling nervous all over again and knowing it was just the dread of dragging your self-esteem.
you hated feeling like this and missed the confidence that you had somewhere deep down.
jasper’s eyes widened at your words and he couldn’t believe what was coming out from your lips. he put his hands on your face, one on each of your cheeks and stared into your eyes again to get the point across of what he was about to say.
even though he couldn't hypnotise you, it felt like you couldn’t look away from him.
the feelings you have for him.
what you’d do for this man.
“what i feel for you is something i can’t put into words. i’ve never felt this way about anybody ever, y/n. i wouldn’t want to be in this world without you in it.” you knew jasper would move mountains for you with the way he was expressing how he felt about you.
it just easily came from his mouth and it shocked you in a way that woke you out of the melancholy behavior that you were feeling.
“i just love you so much darlin’ and i don’t care about the empathy power and how it affects me, okay? i just want you. you helped me the other day, you always have and i wouldn’t want it any other way then to help you too.” he murmured only a few inches away from your face and you were so tired of the space that you leaned forward.
whispering against his lips you replied breathlessly. “i love you so much too jas. i’m sorry for today and i don’t want to be without you anymore either.” he removed his hands from your chin and instead fisted your hair in one of his hands to pull you to his lips.
everything felt right again when your lips touched. today didn’t matter. yesterday didn’t matter. and you could do anything tomorrow if you put your mind to it with jasper by your side.
it was a soft kiss that wasn’t rushed and not as sexual as you would have liked but nonetheless, it was perfect. he was everything you could have wished for in a mate.
his grip lessened in your hair and instead he cupped the back of your neck to pull you even closer. you took that cue to get on top of his lap and the comforter rested on your hips until he angled his body making it that he was under it as well so he could push it down from your body and his.
your tiny sleep shorts were on and the tank top just barely showed any skin. jasper moved his hands once more again until they were on your hips so he could feel the curves on your hips that he always loved.
he’d always hold them whenever you were being intimate with each other.
even if it was just a hug from behind, the height difference always had him putting his chin on the top of your head or in the crook of your shoulder if he ducked.
but his hands were always resting on your hips and he could never stop touching you even if he wanted to.
his love language was definitely touch. you always leaned in and loved the feeling of his skin touching yours. even if it was innocent, you constantly wanted him to touch you.
your lips were red and puffy with how intense the kiss was and now they matched your tired eyes perfectly. neither of you could get enough.
jasper let out a small groan when your arms went around him, resting them around his back so you could massage and play around with the soft blonde curls on the nape of his neck. another thing you loved about him was the way he always smelled.
it was the familiar sense of home and no matter where you moved or lived, you knew he would always be your home.
jasper’s tongue tapped your bottom lip as if he was asking for access and you opened your lips just the slightest for him to caress the inside of your mouth.
he always tasted so good and it was your turn to groan at the intense pleasure. but that sound falling past your lips had him pulling away from you.
jasper knew if he didn’t stop now, neither of you ever would. and right now he was comfortable with just being there and holding you.
“baby.” he paused. you were looking into his eyes and he didn’t think there was anybody as beautiful as you. jasper felt  lucky to have met you in that moment, staring into your beautiful light brown eyes. you were one of a kind and nobody could beat that.
“wanna go under the covers and lay down?” he chuckled at your face when you immediately nodded, always jumping to the chance of a cuddle.
jasper pulled back the comforter and waited till you were comfortable before tugging it over the both of you again.
jasper smoothed a strand hair away from your cheek and held your cheek with his eyes full of love. “i’ll always be there for you when things get messy.” you smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
he smirked, knowing that’s what you said to him the other day.
you rolled your eyes playfully and turned, laying on your side. his eyebrow raised, already knowing that you were signaling for him to cuddle you as the big spoon. and for the rest of the day until the next sunrise, he cuddled you close.
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Why would she use drinking water to her advantage like “I’ll drink 2 glasses if you come over, 3 if it includes back statches.”
I’ll drink 2 glasses if you come over, 3 if it includes back scratches.
Are you seriously bargaining your health right now?
4 if you take your shirt off while doing it.
Y/N.
5 if your pants go, too.
You are one of the most insufferable people I have ever met.
See you in 10, then?
....I just grabbed my keys.
Start filling up the glasses and set them out on your nightstand, and don’t be modest with the servings. I want them completely full to the brim or the only thing that will be coming off my body tonight is the steam from my ears.
Wait, that was kinda hot...
What? The part where I ordered you around or the part where your organs are going to live to see another day?
Both, I think. Moreso the first. If I drink 6, does your underwear come off?
6 gets my socks off.
How about 7?
7 gets you arse accommodations.
What do these accommodations include?
The basics— grabbing, groping, etc. You seem to really enjoy that, and the objectification is going towards a good cause, so I’ll allow it. Just don’t give me a wedgie like last time, it wasn’t funny.
It was REALLY funny, actually. You squeaked.
No I didn’t.
You did and it was so cute.
I don’t SQUEAK. It was a whistle and it came from my nose.
You DO squeak, but I digress. What about 8?
That’s the magic number.
Underwear?
Mmhm.
Alright, I’ll think about it.
Well, I’m about to pull out of my parking space, so think fast.
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rubys-forest · 2 months
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Oh em gee swap prince and nessie ref updates woah!!!
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malfunctioning-mantis · 9 months
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since the new storybook is out I could finally post this muahahah homophobic vincent
@rubys-forest
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babsvibes · 2 years
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One Eyed Snakes Reference Sheet
Because sometimes a wiki isn’t enough and also I wanted to headcanon some biker names lol
Club:
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Horny Dave’s Favorite Jam:
Activities:
Partakes in criminal activities such as robbing, looting, cooking and selling crystal meth
Drinking and drinking contests, smoking, opening a beer bottle with boobs is considered an art
Arm wrestling
Listening to music: memorial jam is over 21 minute rock song (which seems to have strong psychedelia influence), ending credits song similar to Mama Kin by Aerosmith
Locations:
Stopped in Macon, Georgia at least once when the azaleas were in bloom
Attends bike week in Laconia, New Hampshire, which happens in June
Allies/Enemies:
Enemies with the Buzzard Kings, who throw Molotov cocktails
Allies with Easy Beavers, who appear to be majority female gang
Gives one eyed snake cards to people they owe a favor to, which must be presented in window
Patches: Critter explains patches on Horny Dave’s vest to Belcher kids in family friendly way
Tickling a c0p (likely assaulting an officer)
Not being associated with the wh!te p0wer movement (unclear of true meaning, emphasis on “not” seems to imply the opposite)
Blowing up a bunch of balloons (likely large scale property damage)
Style of Humor:
Nonchalant criminal activity
Down to earth and in tune with sensitivity/intuition
Style of Speech:
Southern dialect (Tennessee for Critter)
Biker speak (Roamin’ Bob-iday references)
While they mostly speak colloquially and with contractions, a lack of contractions and flowery/overstated language is utilized for humor (Mudflap: I do not think so, Linda . . . You started crying tears of genuine emotional sadness)
General:
History of being intolerant to other races and parents. Mostly male members but a few female bikers. Several members on LinkedIn. Nursing student sold them OxyContin and taught club infant CPR. Initiation is tough, assumed to include weeding out posers through physical violence.
Horny Dave was chapter leader until he was in a gruesome accident. Critter took over after his death. Ice Pick is now presumably acting president, as he makes decisions for the club in Wag The Hog, with Critter taking more time off to be with Sidecar and work a straight job.
Bikers:
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Critter and Mudflap: See wiki
Rat Daddy: Intimidates Mort into keeping Horny Dave’s favorite jam cranked. Friends with Horny Dave. Appreciates flowers and is aware of seasonal blooms. Talks openly to kids and answers questions about drugs honestly with no filter.
Ice Pick: Stands in as club decision maker in Critter’s absence. Sensitive to other people’s state of mind, his own image, and accepting of social media. Growls at Kenny but takes a selfie with him. Capable of being persuaded and recognizing perspective.
Nasty Slim: Gets in a fist fight with Statch. Gets too drunk and needs to be carried out of the restaurant by two women who seem amused by him.
Scab: Tags onto whatever has been said. “Critter hasn’t talked to us in weeks.” “Yeah and he hardly wants any meth.” “And other races.” “And you can sell it to this square over here.”
Statch: Locks and blocks the door to fight honkies. Rides an American flag bike. Fights with Nasty Slim. Seen in heated conversation with Slim and Margo. Takes selfie with Kenny. Name is slang for Statutory.
Mutton: Stands separate with Critter and Rat Daddy in Earsy Rider. One of the first to enter Bob’s Burgers and waves everyone else inside after confirming there is beer. Has heated conversation with Ice Pick and has a barbed wire tattoo.
Ruby: Attends baby shower and plays diaper game. Doesn’t appear to stick to anyone in particular. Seemingly younger as she has no visible wrinkles and younger style of dress and hair (shaved in Earsy Rider, pixie cut in Roamin’ Bob-iday?)
Tang: Riding on the back of Mutton’s bike. Attends baby shower. Enthusiastic about winner of arm wrestling contest.
Pidge: Riding on the back of Scab’s bike. Damascus had his arm around her and they appear to be talking to each other across booths. Helps Slim when too drunk. Wears a shirt baring her midriff.
Damascus: Seen with arm around Pidge.
Margo: Helps Slim when he’s too drunk. Seemingly uncomfortable with an angry Statch. Attends baby shower.
Ol’ Wayne: Lost drinking contest to Mudflap.
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waveypedia · 3 years
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This is why we can’t have nice things- Chat Noir and Ladybug
It’s You, My Dear
Ladybug sighs and slaps her hand against her head. “This is why we can’t have nice things, Chat.”
Chat flashes his famous Cheshire grin, wide and proud, and locks his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels to burn excess energy. “This is just an expression of my artistic genius.”
“There’s flour all over my kitchen,” Ladybug deadpans. “The kitchen that took me an hour to set up so we could cook together.”
“And now I’ve helped you decorate!” Chat replies, grinning,  “Don’t crap on my creativity, M’Lady!”
“I would never crap on actual creativity,” Ladybug sighs. “This is just a mess.”
“But it’s our mess,” Chat gives Ladybug his best winning smile.
Ladybug boops Chat on the nose, causing his mouth to open in a small, perfect ‘o’. “No, it’s yours.”
Chat chuckles softly and brushes some flour off of his suit. They float to the ground like tiny snowflakes, revealing the darkness of his suit underneath. “All right, My Lady. I concede. You’re by far the better cook out of both of us. I’ll clean up, and you cook up a purr-fect feast.”
Ladybug snorts and gently slaps a layer of flour off Chat’s shoulder. “I spend a lot of time baking, Kitty, don’t be discouraged.”
Chat Noir simply laughs and brushes more flour off of him. It coats the floor. “I don’t mind if my cookies aren’t perfect. It’s fun to make them. A good friend taught me how!”
Ladybug smiles wistfully. Her train of thought arrives at the familiar Adrien station, like always, and she remembers the day a couple years ago when she taught Adrien how to bake chocolate chip cookies. But, of course, the two instances are completely unrelated.
She pushes away the nostalgia of that sweet summer day and consciously focuses on the here and now. She could make these cookies in her sleep (and she has), but right now, Chat deserves her attention.
He’s gotten most of the flour off of him now, so he looks much more like himself than Chat Blanc (although, whenever those heartbreaking memories surface when Ladybug looks at flour-covered Chat, all she has to do is look into his eyes. His beautiful, un-akumatized, green eyes. That’s her kitty.) and is sweeping up the flour on the makeshift kitchen floor - which is really a rooftop. Flour soars off the roof and into the streets below, causing passing Parisians to look up, point, and shout with excitement. Ladybug waves at them, and they eagerly wave back. She smiles at the phones with cameras pointed at her and imagines Alya’s future blog post.
But that doesn’t matter right now. She and Chat step away from the roof, and after a little while, the novelty wears off. The consistent subtle murmur of passerbys’ chatter from the streets fades into the background, and Ladybug turns back to her cookies.
“Almost done, Chat,” she calls over her shoulder.
“Wonderful, M’Lady,” he replies, spreading out the checkered picnic blanket. It’s her parent’s, soft and worn from use, and she takes it out on picnics with her friends all the time. Granted, they’re usually in a park rather than on a rooftop. “I think my friend has a picnic blanket like this. She likes to throw picnics.”
Ladybug hums in response as she takes the first batch of cookies out of the oven. “Oh, really? This is my parents’. I think it used to be popular.”
“My friend’s picnic blanket is her parents’, too,” he replies absently. “It must be.”
Ladybug piles the cookies on a plate and sets them next to the picnic basket on the blanket. Chat Noir is seated already, with his legs dangling off the rooftop, gazing at the horizon in the distance. His expression is soft and thoughtful, and his eyes are filled with a million thoughts she can not discern. It’s endearing.
Ladybug sits down next to him. “Are you ready, Kitty?”
His smile is back in full force as he snaps his head over to meet her gaze. “Of course, Bugaboo!”
Ladybug rolls her eyes, but busies herself with setting out plates for each of them. He statches a piece of cheese for his kwami for later. 
She savors the way his eyes light up with delight.
They sit in comfortable silence for a little while as they enjoy the food. Parisians stroll along the streets below, mostly unaware of the heroes perched above them, save for a few sharp-eyed denizens who are rewarded with waves and winks for their efforts. After a while, Chat leans his head against Ladybug’s shoulder, letting out a soft sigh.
Ladybug snorts and pushes him, but gently. “You’re too tall for this, Chat.”
His only response is to hum contentedly and snuggle in closer, causing her to giggle despite herself. His neck is twisted almost sideways to fit on her shoulder, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable in the slightest.
She shoves him a little harder. “Chat, c’mon. You’re going to get a kink in your neck.”
“I sleep in class all the time, My Lady. I don’t mind it.” But he obliges, rubbing his neck. 
Ladybug sighs good-naturedly. “That’s not good, Chat.” She’s aware that she’s a hypocrite, but only sometimes. She tries not to be. It’s hard enough to keep her grades up with all her… extracurricular activities.
Chat shrugs nonchalantly. “Sometimes I have to get up really early for pho- for my job,” he explains. “And of course the midnight akumas. I swear, does Hawk Moth ever sleep?”
Ladybug laughs at that. Tension she didn’t even realize was there fades away, floating into the wind as Ladybug’s giggles tinkle like bells and Chat grins wide at the validation. “His sleep schedule must be so messed up. Maybe that’s why he’s like that.”
“A lack of sleep does make me quite a grumpy cat,” Chat muses. “But I can say with certainty that I’ve never gone on a homicidal violence spree and tried to steal jewelry because of it.”
Ladybug giggles again. “Good job on beating Hawk Moth, then.”
Chat smirks and sighs contentedly, picking up a cookie. He sighs with pure delight as his teeth sink into it.
Ladybug watches him, smirking, ignoring the growing valley of joy in her chest at the validation. Chat’s initial reaction whenever he eats sweets is always the same - pure bliss, over the top, but always genuine. It never fails to make her smile.
She’s noticed before that Adrien reacts similarly whenever she brings in baked goods, and she knows full well he’s on a very strict diet (one that always seems to leave him tired and drained, no matter how much she tries to hide it). Chat’s home situation is probably similar, especially based on the little details he’s let slip out, which makes her blood boil. So she’s made it her mission to fill both boys up with all the treats they can handle.
It’s the little things.
“These are wonderful, M’Lady,” Chat says softly. He won’t meet her eyes.
Ladybug fights the smile growing on her face and shoves him playfully. Her feelings, and the mood, are threatening to take a turn down a road she’s terrified to explore.
Adrien. Adrien. Adrien. Remember Adrien. Do not fall for Chat Noir. Don’t ruin what you have.
“You’re just saying that,” she teases, even though she knows he’s not. The guilt stings in her stomach, settling with the homemade food she’s eating.
“Why, M’Lady, I meant what I said! These cookies are simply purr-fect.”
Ladybug placed her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. “You got flour all over my makeshift kitchen.”
“These cookies are all the better because you made them, My Lady,” Chat smiled back, unfazed in the face of Ladybug’s annoyance, but with a touch of genuinity. 
Ladybug huffed in response and spread out the picnic blanket. “Sit down already. You’re going to fill yourself up on cookies.”
Chat put the cookie he was about to bite into down and cast a longing look at the cookie platter, but sat down without complaint. “You’re a wonderful cook, My Lady!”
Ladybug smiles softly. “Thank you, Kitty.”
They lean against each other, foreheads touching, and watch the sunset. Oranges and pinks flush Paris  in auroric flames. Ladybug’s hand tingles from where it’s brushing Chat’s and the cookies. 
“You know,” Chat says softly, so softly Ladybug isn’t sure if she’s imagining his voice or not, “You say we can’t have nice things, but this seems pretty nice to me.”
A grin slowly worms its way up Ladybug’s face. “Yeah,” she replies, equally as soft. Chat’s ears twitch. “I think so too.” In more ways than one.
Their hands brush closer and closer until their fingers close around each other. Somehow, inexplicably, she knows Chat hears her unsaid words.
“Pretty nice,” she echoes, half to herself, as they sit on the rooftops of their city and watch the world go by. All they have is each other. All they need is each other.
The sun sets, and the world turns to shades of gray, and still they sit. Ladybug pulls out the hot chocolate, kept warm in the thermoses her family swears up and down by. They stay long after color bleeds out of the world, shoulders touching, hands entwined, heads leaning against each other despite the height difference. 
It’s nearing midnight when Ladybug shifts her asleep foot and breaks the proverbial blanket over the two of them. A pang of regret resonates in her heart, but as she shakes life into her cold limbs, she knows it’s for the best. Parting is never easy, even if it’s just for the night.
With her kitty, she’d rather always be with him. Every goodbye hurts.
Chat stands up and stretches, curling up his back and tail just like a real cat. Ladybug’s mouth quirks into a teasing smile, and she reaches out to give him a quick scratch under the chin, relishing in the way his eyes close in pure safety and contentment. She presses her fingers slightly closer to feel the purr that rumbles through his body, steady and sure.
They divvy up the remaining snacks (Ladybug sneaks him half her share - he needs it more than she does. Even if all of her conceptions of his home life are mistaken, blown out of proportion, based on what she knows of Adrien’s, she does live above a bakery. But she’s fairly certain she’s not wrong on this one, despite how much she hopes she is.) and part ways for the night. Chat gives her a tight hug, and he’s so warm, just like a real cat. Ladybug melts in his embrace, and wishes they could stay there forever, frozen, untouched by the world moving around them. She knows he’s thinking the same thing.
Alas, it does have to end, and they part ways with a wave and a few nonsensical words shouted to the wind with the adrenaline from movement and the cold air kicking into their tired bodies. Ladybug begins the trek home, her limbs moving mechanically through the familiar movements as she soars over Paris in a way most people could only dream to.
When she’s safe in bed, with her diminished share of snacks tucked safely away in the cupboard, Marinette clutches her cat pillow to her and bundles up in her blankets. She thinks about how they don’t quite compare to Chat’s warmth.
Tikki, curling up on Marinette’s pillow, smiles knowingly.
~
these guys are really fun to write fluff for 
title is from my dear from red velvet! lyrics from this song actually inspired me to make a doc filled with title ideas (mostly song lyrics, which is what i’ve been drawing a lot from lately) and i’ve been saving this one since june 😳 i think it fits here
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thevioletjones · 3 years
Note
Wow, congrats on the kudos, that a big number you hit there. The prompt list is very fun and I like two, so you can choose between 18 and 38 :)
Thank you! I included both and it came out really cute, actually!
Prompt 1: “You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” + “Watch me.”
Long Overdue
“Yo,” said Lip, bursting through the door of the Gallagher house.
Ian was lounging on the couch next to Mickey; Franny and Freddie happily playing at their feet.
“What up?” he asked his brother.
“You’re not gonna believe this shit…” Lip’s gaze flicked back and forth between the couple.
“Okayyyy?” replied Ian.
“I just dropped by the Kash and Grab for a pop, and guess who the fuck is back in Chi-town?”
Ian grimaced and glanced at Mickey, whose eyebrows suddenly shot up very high.
“Fuckin’ Towelhead?” Ian’s tactless husband inquired, his voice going high at the end.
“Nice bigoted slur, Mick,” Lip deadpanned, eyes snapping back to Ian, “but yeah.”
Ian could honestly say he hadn’t thought about Kash in years. He hadn’t even seen Linda around, since he avoided his old job premises like the plague, on account of the many weird, ancient memories attached to them. It wasn’t really an imposition, seeing as there were countless other convenience stores in the neighborhood. That entire chapter of his life was so closed, he didn’t care to think on it. Save the Mickey part, obviously, but even then he preferred to edit certain things out. Fuck knows they were always drowning in drama in the beginning; were maybe still known to swim in some, but the waters seemed a lot more navigable now that they were adults with rings on their fingers.
Ian just shrugged, unwilling to make himself care again, but Mickey shot to his feet.
“You know how long I’ve wanted to get even with that piece of shit?” he exclaimed, cracking his knuckles and stretching his neck muscles.
Ian exhaled loudly and stood up too. “Mick,” he said in a tone of warning. “Everything that happened with Kash was a long fucking time ago, okay? It doesn’t matter anymore. Let it go.”
“Fuck you I’m gonna let it go.”
Ian sighed and glanced around, Lip looking much more amused than he should be for getting Mickey riled up like this, before meeting his husband’s gaze again. “Can we talk about this in private, please?”
Mickey rolled his eyes, turning heel. “You can follow me to where I keep my Glock.”
It was times like these that made Ian want to knock him upside the head with a large fist, merely to save his ass from pulling stupid shit that could get him thrown back in prison. He followed him up the stairs and shut the door behind them as Mickey rifled around their sock drawer for the locked case they now kept their weapons in.
“Mickey,” Ian pleaded again in a stern voice, “I’m serious about this. You can’t go bringing this bullshit back to life. What’s the point?”
Mickey chuckled derisively as he unlocked the box. “The point is that’s the fucker who put a damn bullet in me and sent me to juvie. Not to mention, he fuckin’ statch-raped you when you were a goddamn moony-eyed, baby-faced kid. Dickhead’s gotta pay.”
He pulled the 9mm out and checked the chamber. Ian placed his hand over it to stop him.
“You don’t gotta explain to me why he’s a dirtbag creep, okay? I’m just sayin’ that it’s irrelevant now. What’s done is done. Takin’ a gun down to the store like it’s 2011 is a terrible idea. How many times do I have to beg your stupid ass not to get arrested again, huh?”
Mickey cocked the slide with a slick click and shoved the gun in the back of his pants. “I don’t give a shit how long it’s been. How come that bastard never got thrown in the damn clink? Back in the day, we used to bury pedos in the backyard. Street justice ain’t got a statute of limitations.”
It was Ian’s turn to roll his eyes. “Bullshit this is about street justice. You just have a vendetta, cuz he popped you one and got you busted. Don’t try to make it about defending my honor.”
“It can be two things, Gallagher. This dude deserves to get robbed, shot, and strung up by the balls. I’d do more, but ya know, not worth takin’ the time.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”
“Maybe at one point I did, so what?”
“So? So you can’t just resurrect this crap, Mick! You’re gonna give him the opportunity to fuck up our lives again? It’s not worth it. You can’t do this.”
“Watch me.”
Mickey tried to slip past him then, but Ian stepped back and leaned heavily on the door, barring his dumbass husband from getting to it.
“I’m not watching shit, Mickey. Put the damn gun back and cool the hell off.”
“Get outta my way, Gallagher. I’m fuckin’ serious.”
“What are you gonna do, shoot me instead?”
Mickey’s face became very serious, but Ian wasn’t shaken. “Ian. Back… the fuck… off.”
“No.” He shook his head adamantly. “Don’t make me fucking tackle you to the floor. You didn’t even switch the safety back on, you degenerate.”
“I’m gonna count to three. You better move.” Mickey was pointing in his face very authoritative like.
Ian couldn’t hold in his snort, and that just made him crack up, as Mickey’s shoulders slumped and he looked both indignant and resigned.
“I’m so tired of fighting with you, Mick. Can you please just stop? If it really means that much to you to get some petty revenge on Kash, then let’s come up with something better than rehashing an old storyline, okay?”
Mickey glared at him for a minute, then rubbed his lips together. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that maybe if we do it the right way, we could get him some jail time just like you think he deserves.”
“Like I think—” Mickey started. “Bitch, you should think he deserves it more than anyone. You were what? Thirteen? Fourteen? The fuck, man?”
Ian stepped forward again and put his arms around Mickey, trailing his left hand down toward the waistband of his husband’s pants.
“Are you done?” He eased the gun out and deftly flipped the safety on, walking them both backwards until he could set it on the dresser.
Mickey’s breath was hot on his neck, and he was somewhat red in the face. “Can’t believe you’re still protecting that motherfucker.”
“For the last time, you’re the only one I’m protecting here. You and me. Get that through your thick fucking Milkovich skull, okay? And if you do, maybe I’ll reward you in some way.”
Mickey’s body was still rigid against him as he scoffed, “You can’t bribe me with sexual favors anymore, dipshit. We’re fuckin’ married. Bangin’ is part of the damn contract, ain’t it?”
“Not if I don’t want it to be.”
Mickey laughed truly and deeply. “Yeah, okay, Captain Horndog. I could stay away from you longer than you could stay away from me. Guarantee that shit.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Jesus Christ, I thought this was a negotiation for me gettin’ a reward. I’d rather just redeem it for cash value. Which wouldn’t be much.”
“Hey!” Ian cried in affront.
Mickey just cackled again, backing up toward their bed. “Get over here with your dumb dick, then, Firecrotch. My ass ain’t gonna fuck itself.”
“I don’t know why I married you.”
“Yeah you do.”
Yeah, he did.
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