#a point i forgot to mention in my review
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BOYS PLANET 1212
From the get go, Boys Planet looked to be a disaster: postponement, changes of plans, and the legacy of Girls Planet 999′s already lukewarm reception and results, plethora of scandals, on top of the history of Mnet survivals not being quite reassuring as for what this one would be. They didn’t even have Yeo Jingoo as their MC anymore so what even was the point for me to watch, right? Well I like bad reality TV, and if the show forewent it’s predecessor’s clunky numbers, it was not merely because they cleaned themselves off the unpromised implication that ‘999′ offered, that being of parity in it’s final lineup’s nationalities- but because had they to pick one to represent the cast of 98 boys (95 by the time of announcement and 93 when the first episode released, once more, a good sign that this was going to be a Very Well Made Show), it’d have to be 1212, for Dozens of Dozens.
A bit of context for newcomers and unknowers as I’ll be mentioning the title a surprisingly low but still relevant amount of time.
From the day the fancams for the ‘Here I Am’ Signal song were uploaded, the word bounced around my brain, with cruel glee: these guys were just not good. At the same time, knowledge of how things were handled with Produce and “Not Produce we swear it’s different” shows did keep me back from immediatly dismissing about 85 boys from being of any respectable skill: if Boys Planet was anything like it’s elders, these guys likely had at most a week to learn a choreography and song, on their own, with little group rehearsals. The mere inability to judge what some steps were meant to look like given how varied the executions were across contestants said it all: they were given no teacher, likely the dance “teacher” and judge responsible for that atrocity of a dance routine showed up once, stayed an hour, and then left them to their own device (and watching episode 2, it is indeed basically what happened. When most of the rehearsal footage is just the kids by themselves teaching each other, the title of “Master” is to put into question: you’re not their masters so much as their executioner).
So I awaited the actual episodes, to see the surprises, or even just the bad dancers who were here as vocalists.
Which to be honest, was a mistake on my part, expecting vocalists was to lobotomise myself, out of the knowledge of the sad state of this industry, the one that we could nearly say this show satirises: Boys Planet isn’t a survival as much as it is a long winded performance art piece meant to criticise 4,5th gen Kpop. And so it was with equality little and great surprise that the Auditions were the same as the Fancams, only this time both eyes AND ears got to suffer the same pains.
(I ran out of embed spots- you only get 5??- so you’ll unfortunately have to click links for most of the video evidence of my claims. Very sorry about that. Prommy I didn’t intend for only the Worse- and Hui’s feast- to be visible but it IS funny).
Where are the standards of casting?
But Signal song fancams aren’t meant to be good. As stated before, they’re a bad metric of talent, or of potential even, as both song and dance are learnt in a hurry, with hardly any mentoring outside of Lim Han Byul disregarding all decency as a human being to instead have his “bullying children” segment. Moreso, a dance focused fancam does not help display the skills of vocalists, so while I did rank all of the Here I Am videos, I was waiting for the audition performances, or Star Level to truly pick out who were the trainees deserving of my attention. Still, the combination of how little candidates truly shone through their fancams, the lukewarm interest sparked by the 1mn PR videos and the trainee profiles, with their citations of way too many symbols of kpop’s downfall as for the standards of performance- not citing names as I do like the state of my life and witness protection would take all of that fun away from me- I had little hopes for what was to come, which did protect me: I was at least not disappointed in expecting nothing.
The performances aired for the first episode were highly enjoyable, in a Schadenfreude kind of way: the ones that were bad were Bad bad, to the point of hilarity: I had legitimate tears in my eyes watching some of these, and couldn’t help share them ahead of our group watching to my co-watcher friend. Things needed to be spoilt; joy to be shared.
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Portrayed here, Yang Jun’s most iconic opening of Seventeen’s worst song: mathematically a masterpiece as two negatives make a positive. Also, do know that upon watching Yang Jun’s fancam back before the show started, I claimed him as one of my favourite as I thought dancing that awful must hide incredible singing talents, why else would he be there, right? I’ve had to reassess that statement, but I will not stop my support. He reached public infamy, legend status, and did so much for the show with just these few words.Similarly, team Hyogo gave us a SPLENDID rendition of MANIAC that I view with just as much affection as I do see team Sichuan’s HOT: an enemy of my enemy is my friend, desecrate songs I don’t like and we’ll get along (this is just what the songs sound like to me on regular after all, I think they did amazing).
Many such cases. The full cam footage of the first episode’s performance are overall a feast, a gathering of comically bad stages, put back to back for the heartless public to tear to shreds, only to further humiliate it’s most iconic suckers a week later, in front of Sunmi no less… There is nothing crueler when it comes to reality TV than an Mnet survival.
While a few stages did still look significantly better, and the second week packed overall better performances, the truth is still that the vast majority was mediocre at best, funnily enough, probably would rank 12/20 in my french fashion of rating: not awful enough to be failed but just toeing that line.
And that overall does make sense: why would a company send their best most promising trainees to a shitshow where they can hardly monitor their progress anymore, all for them to get eliminated after two weeks of airtime, but months of recording, alongside half the contestant, and after a combined screen time of about 10 seconds. The investment isn’t good when the winners are already pre-decided, might as well send your newbies, your bottom of the class lineup, avoiding the silent blacklisting of a large TV channel without wasting the time of your talents. As for the viewer, it only makes the experience more entertaining: the mind’s much more rested when all the decent guys are relatively safe for a few episodes when the network first has to weed out the ones who are simply way too incompetent to even get a single pity vote. Instead, you get to laugh at poor youngsters that still probably are doing much better than you would, only they have a roomful of witnesses and large audience to witness them. I cannot truly cast the stone of ‘this is cruel and uncivilised’ when I myself go back to the Canton China’s team rendition of God’s Menu daily, for reasons that are anything but amazement.
Something that was evident throughout all the stages, including the good and passable ones though, was how little singers were present on set. The show even makes a point of highlighting it: if there is a handful of good performers and dancers, the singing is truly subpar. Only, for the jury to point it out is a bit hypocritical. Comparing the performances and the gradings assigned to each participant show that while the jury- and mainly professional hater Lim Han Byul- lament the lack of good voices, they do not support what little good ones they do have on their hand. Abysmal singers who can dance consistently get better star rankings than good singers with lacklustre dancing. The message is clear: we shall address the issue in words, but only participate in it with our actions.
For Choi Yujin to get four stars with that mid at most line being the only piece of singing we heard from him, while Park Gunwook got assigned three for not being heard singing enough was already quite frustrating. But Gunwook isn’t really a singer either, so the real rage was to see Kim Taerae also get only three stars AFTER the assessment that the show desperately needed SINGERS. If Yujin deserved four stars, then so did Taerae, because his dancing is nowhere near just middle-ground, he’s good enough to blend in the ensemble while carrying a vocal position. But the show does not care for this: they want flashy performers, no matter what their empty claim. But then, it seems Choi Yujin was actually a victim more than an undeserved win, as the show’s true focus seems to now do MY job and use every opportunity to belittle him and call him undeserving of his rank, as if they weren’t the ones putting him there in the first place.
But in all fairness, bad singing makes sense when a good portion of your candidates aren’t done going through puberty: the amount of 2006 to 2008ers present in the lineup should be an indicator as to why we hear so many unstable shaky creaky breaky voices: these are teenagers who should be in school, not in Public Shamings - The Show, no budget edition (because we spent all of it making a Roblox dupe, something the public for certain asked for).
Speaking of things no one asked for: Pentagon Hui’s presence. As enjoyable as it is to get an actual serve in the midst of… Whatever it is others are doing, there’s nothing pleasant about seeing him sit in the middle of all those teens, right out of the army and all out of tears to cry. The misery of every episode 1 reaction shot on him, free this man. At every round, we will have to pretend to carefully examine who exactly is most skilled, as if there wasn’t a guy among the participants who should have been mentoring them, not playing with them. Unlike CLC’s Yujin on Girls Planet, his situation is also nowhere near as dire: while Pentagon hasn’t been in its Shine heydays for a moment, they do not seem to be on the brink of disbandment the way CLC was when Girl’s Planet aired: Hui himself was speaking of comeback plans months before the start of Boys Planet. It seems CUBE ENT just wants to torture a poor guy who only probably wants to go back to his writing studio with his actual group rather than being under the threat of having to spend god knows how long Kep1er’s babybrother group will be active for. At least he provides respite whenever on stage I suppose, but I so desperately want him to get the Produce Camp Lelush treatment: a full time exposure then freedom on the last episode. Make it worth it at least!
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Have a little palate cleanser before we carry on.
Sabotage
I love to talk badly about corporations too much to blame only the trainees for their bad performances though. Particularly, Mnet isn’t truly known for either fairness or transparency, and so a lot of what the show displays doesn’t reflect individual potential. When that many stages are bad, the fault is on the network, not only through their casting, but their sabotage. That’s right: here come the delicious speculations of foul play.
Just like fancams of a performance learnt in a few days- with foreign trainees being given one day less to train, by the way- aren’t really indicative of who is talented, the Star Level stages are to be put into question: the showrunners claim that the songs were picked by the teams, but it takes extreme gullibility to take their word when watching some of the stage choices: either those trainees are stupid on top of untalented, or someone isn’t telling the truth.
When I mentioned Canton China’s performance earlier, they are one of the most questionable matchup: why would foreigners who aren’t fluent pick a song as rap-heavy and dense in pronunciation as God’s Menu? Would they really have expected anything but this?
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It’s still funny though sorry Canton China. KKAMA HH HH KKAJI.
And how come there just so happens to be such a high percentage of songs that members of the jury worked on, even with their extensive workography, when half the songs are their work, it becomes a tad suspicious, there isn’t just one writer and one choreographer in this industry. The numbers don’t add up. And as iconic as Shine is as a song, it’s still eyebrow-raise worthy to have Just the song to activate the competition’s most famous “trainee”’s backstory and tears. The songs are just too suspicious: fitting neither the skills or style or announced preferences of the participants. In a round where they have to best portray themselves, it’s hard to believe that so many contestants would pick so far out of their comfort zone, just to appeal to one member of the jury. Not to mention the coincidental stage repeats: the two tall and handsome but inexperienced guys just happened to both decide to do My House, in matching outfits too? At least try to be subtle about your script.
And all of those network picks only serve to push forward their favourites, and mostly, the premises of narratives they want to build. As the writers aren’t too original and love to rehash the same storylines, they are pretty easy to spot: the talented guy who did not charm the jury at first but will then sweep them off their feet with one day of practice, great but mean guy who’ll likely be lost by his “oversized ego”, the one who did So Good at first and then never lived up to it… It is much easier to make entertaining situations yourself than to expect them from a crowd of kids who likely wouldn’t start fights with how little time they have to do anything but practice and sleep. Hence, manufactured rivalries- between the Korean and Foreign group notably, something so out of pocket when within those you can find people who belong to one same debuted group split into blue and pink team, and definitely hilarious whenever they prompt a foreigner to say anything negative on the Korean team, taking it to their nationality as root of the issue, when some members of the Global team are themselves part of the Korean diaspora. The choice of Nationalistic War as a plotline is certainly a choice, but only works way less when instead of GP999’s three teams of more or less strictly region locked participants you have one country against the whole rest of the world. But I’d rather pretend this entire decision does not exist, there’s just something uncomfortable about the show trying to become ‘war on Kpop: these foreigners are trying to steal our job’. As if Mnet was even going to pick more than 3 Global trainees for their line up.
Then come my most detested, as I am a hater, the ones who take the limelight when being hardly better than MY picks who are objectively better naturally as I am the voice of truth. I mentioned Choi Yujin, but there are other worsties in the show, some who may get the same sad treatment as their fellow (of being shamed for not living up to expectation built out of nothing), I’m thinking most notably KuanJui from team Taipei whom the show will not manage to convince me is good as an Idol, no matter how much they repeat it: his traditional dancing is very good, but he neither could dance or sing Tiger Inside in a way that I could stomach, and it was neither a matter of awkward lack of confidence nor an issue of assignment that didn’t match his tastes. He may have done better indeed on an elegant song, but when it’s likely the final group will be performing Hip-Hop leaning choreographies, what use is there in lying that he can carry them out? Why are we pretending that he did not just disrespect Ten’s legacy etc etc? As he also carries the fatal flaw of not being a Korean trainee, which, to the Mnet writers’ eyes might as well mean you attempted murder on their families, I am expecting him to be this season’s Cai Bing, suddenly villainized by the community whenever the show needs some drama that doesn’t involve collateral damage for their plan of debutees to be.
Is there no main Slayer?
And how are they even going to make that lineup, you could ask, if everyone is mediocre, if there’s no talent but the 30 years old hag who already has a group at home and enlistment under his belt?
Thankfully, in the mass of Nothing, there still are a few attention grabbers, some I have already shouted out before, some that I keep for this more entertaining section of “lets see some good food”.
Well, good food…
I first want to give a shout-out to my little pity boys, the ones so clearly set up and so thoroughly mocked that you can only feel bad for them. I’d want them in the group just to spite the network. The Houses, as I’ve already mentioned before, have this incredible charm to them (they’re good looking) that makes it hard not to root for their progress (and they’re tall too) especially when the show bestows a montage of them working so hard day and night to escape their reputation (pretty boys should never be sad). Red House Jung Min Gyu is probably the funnier of the two, his awkwardness is in how brazenly he tries, while Blue House Bak Do Ha is the more tragic one, the one desperate with tears, the one who has to carry the burden of being Labelmate with Hui. Neither of them are good, but both seem untrained as hell, and the odds aren’t in their favour when the show cannot acknowledge that even with years of vocal lessons they’d hardly be able to sing Here I Am given their natural pitch. There’s something wholesome in the trauma-bound solidarity between the two as well, my favourite manufactured narrative is the show’s insistence on sliding a reaction shot of one House whenever the other does badly. They are brothers in martyrdom.
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The one thing the jury did get right is how much we did need to see them perform together. Power duo.
Another Martyr would be Lee Da Eul: as soon as the fancams dropped he was already the most mocked online, for his sloppy and odd dancing. Just like the Houses, his voice is unfit for the Soprano-ranged songs, and just like them, he has that weirdly endearing thing to him. Unlike the houses though, his bad performance secured him a spot for at least a round, if votes remain the main factor of survival: the hate-views of his fancam alone landed him in the top 9 for two episodes in a row. He’s everyone’s favourite underskilled little guy. And perhaps mine as well. Daeul sweep etc… I hope he makes it to the finale.
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He’s hypnotic to be perfectly honest, I’m obsessed with him he’s so woobly he’s so real.
Then come My Dozens. The ones that may not be deserving of the support compared to others, but that I still will support, because it’s my ranking, I get to choose the pretty boys who get in on face alone. Naturally, as the rest of the viewers, I devote myself to the Chiu SweetBlood- sorry I mean Jiwoong Sweep. Is he here and winning just because Bro is Beautiful? Maybe. But if the mass is not good might as well have pretty faces, and the thing is that he’s not completely void of talent, to my surprise and also disappointment, as there was something much funnier in supporting a guy who can legit do nothing but serve face and cleavage. From the get go I could never tell if I thought he was a good dancer or not. His fancam was… Not very good. His footage from his previous group endeavours were not too remarkable but not too bad. But Mirotic seemed to be just the style that best showcased his ability, and he can sustain vocals on top of the dancing, although not the most stunning ones. Still, that’s more than a Dozen needs to be doing, so shoutout to his pretty eyes and bosoms. Was he my favourite of his team? Not even. Did he still kind of Give? To me, certainly. But then I’m not objective towards the one truly handsome guy of the whole competition. Any lacks of his that would get anyone else thwarted from my list of faves is filled out by his mere blinks.
Good dancers who cannot hold a note were aplenty, and if I’m sensitive to guys who can shake it and willing to close my ears for them, I could not just adopt all of them. Some that did still vow me would be, and we’ll do quick name drops, Haruto, whose iconic voice break- cut off at broadcast because Mnet and I sometimes agree on who deserve the Ws- and iconic-er pre-show online presence carry him into my heart at all times, Wang Zi Hao who danced way better in his rehearsal than final stage but did not sound pleasant in either, Cha Woongki, yes he sounds awful no I don’t care he can shake it and threw a fish, and Na Kamden who hasn’t actually shown any singing so who knows maybe he’s good. All of these make it far in my excel sheet only because they aren’t Good dancers but Great ones. In this economy, it’s equivalent to having a minimum of singing skills.
As for singers, they get an automatic pass for me. We have to support what little voices we get.
The first Good singer I heard watching the performances was Jay, Kamden’s singing teammate, and he’s one I have to support double as it seems the public refuses to acknowledge him due to his cringeboy swag. Or perhaps he did something I’m not aware of, but his High School Musical type vocals deserve the acknowledgement: there’s not a lot of other candidates who can do what he does. So what if he’s cringe? What if he has the aura of a guy who posts tiktok thirst traps? What if he’s American? We have a shortage of singers. We need him now more than ever.
I mentioned Kim Taerae earlier, he alongside Lee Hwanhee are the two trainees who give the more Classic Kpop vocals. The former got to have a segment on how ‘he sounds so good but dances so bad’ and the latter is nowhere to be found on the screen. A damn shame, he sounds amazing, but what can we do against the editor’s favouritism except watch the full cam performance and sigh in hopes for a change to come when more group performances happen and they cannot skip him anymore.
Yoo Seungeon mainly, but also Krystian (with a very unique vocal colour, whose uncle possessed him, idk but i fuck with it), Park Gwanyoung (who sounded strained but way tolerable considering) and Winnie (who was mad good given the moves he was doing) aren’t just as good but still have nice vocal potential, and can probably do more, with time or more fitting songs.
Then come the ones that actually caught real attention, to different levels.
My favourite flop with no hopes of surviving, Kim Minhyuk, teammate of Park Gwanyoung, is being snubbed of screen time, of votes, of stars, of everything. Most tortured babygirl. Every day I dump a vote to the trash by giving it to him as if he could make it. First elimination and I know I’ll have to bid him goodbye, but our time together was lovely regardless. I made my peace, I don’t love him to the point of outrage, just to the point of disappointment.
Lee Ye Dam gave mediocre vocals on his live, but his practice sounded much better, so I do believe he can sing. And mainly, boy he can dance, and he can Slay. Moves AND attitude, it’s maddening given how his PR video had me on the fence about supporting him (made him drop all the way from my top ranks after the fancam, to the Thin Ice section). For my own public image, let’s all look into a spinning spiral and erase it from our minds, and focus on his gambler performance.
Sung Han Bin has me very confused. He’s quite obviously Mnet’s favourite little guy, and he’s surely talented, but he’s got that crazy trait of becoming way less interesting as soon as he’s on stage. His rehearsals and freestyles are way more charming, they film him having a silly little fake competition and suddenly I get the hype, then he does his assignments and I am bored. But well, would I be mad if he won? Absolutely not, he’s solid, he’s safe. He’s just a mystery: how does a guy who look so confident about performing also loses his charisma when he does? A science subject. Perhaps that’ll bewitch me.
Funnily, because they’re besties, the show so badly wants a Sung Hanbin vs Seok Matthew rivalry. They do play it up a tiny bit, but never fully, instead, you get to see Canada boy rave over how good his friend is over and over again, while himself being honestly quite as good. It seems that a lot of people want them to debut together, friendship wins, but also talent wins, because Matthew is a great performer, good dancer, pleasant singer though with room to improve, and seems comfortable and happy on stage, so that’s just nice. Good vibes. Go Canada.
Next one will have people ask, wait, didn’t you have a section for good dancers who can’t sing? And yes, I did, but the thing is to me, Park Gunwook is more than a great dancer. He’s just way too nice to watch dance. Makes me insane levels of “I fuck with this guy’s dance”. So he’s allowed to not sing the best you see. I think he can learn. I think he can be dangerous if he does. Like give him vocals and it’s the end for everyone else because damn. He dance good. That’s it. Sometimes I just need a lil dance guy.
The one sin Jiwoong committed in entrancing everyone with his vampire spell was to take away attention from Jeong Ichan in his team. That guy is kind of crazy if you ask me, and gets no attention for it. Sad! Watch him shake it, hear him sing, he’s quite obviously talented in both aspects. I want him in the final lineup so desperately, but it seems the judges disagree with me. Well, they never had good taste anyway. All he can do now is steal Yoon Jongwoo’s strategy of gaybaiting through Jiwoong to secure his fujogirl’s votes through ship-sweep. I’m begging him to get on this grind. I need him to survive.
For a while I didn’t understand the Keita hype. Not that I thought he was bad: like Hanbin I just thought he was skilled but not that bewitching, at least from his fancam he seemed really skilled, but I just didn’t feel much. I can understand better with his appearances on the two episodes so far. His Conduct Zero stage was fun, and he also did well with Here I Am both in evaluation and in Good Conduct, so go short king! You caught me now, I’m adding you to the ones I look after now. If we have to have a kpop rapper on the team, he can be it.
Kum Junhyeon. That’s about it. I thought he was great in his fancam, I thought he was awesome in Nunu Nana too, like oh he can sing alright? Seems like a fun guy too, let’s twirl our hair and pat ourselves on the back for always knowing he was to look out for, I always knew but now I got the other watchers on my side too. Very satisfying.
Unlike the total disregard for Kim Minseoung. It was to the point I wondered if he was just a known public enemy, he was my favourite from the fancams, and by favourite I mean that Youtube started putting it in my automatic playlists because of how much I watched it-something about the clarity of his moves, so satisfying, so clean, so exactly what I look for, so I pledged allegiance to him forever, and I’m thankful that he did not embarrass me. He’s great. And he’s in the bottom twenty percent with a full four star ranking. Very frustrating. Gives me a superiority complex too: I know what’s up. No one else does. They only like him because he does a flip…
In Conclusion...
The show exactly meets its expectations: bad taste and bad faith from the judges. The public doesn’t know shit. We are short of talent in this industry nowadays. I’m the biggest martyr. Chiu sweep. Ten thousand likes and I drop my list of most hated candidates just to feel something.
#and that's the essay#the intro and first paragrpah of the uuuuuuu development rly saying the same but shittalking a different star master ptdr#yea well i didnt know how to erm reformat rephrase etc in a way that'd remove the repeat outside of removing the whole thing#or itd take so long and im HUNGY#so take one awkward stitching#whatever!#this has been my ep1 and 2 review#seems like the next challenge the contestants will face is 'K group vs G group' cannot wait for more US VS THEM weird nationalism#they put so many of my girlies in the same one team too cant wait#the ones i cited as good arent all in my top9 btw some are guys i mentioned earlier who have like one or the other of the important skills#also yes i do not point out any Good Rappers bc i do not think there is any good rapper here <3#trainees who come and rap to me are the same as coming and just staying silent the whole time <3#i view them similarly#also the 'rap master' rly aint saying ANYTHING during these judge panels he too knows he's a fraud judging other frauds#i forgot to mention takuto!!! he's very cute and alike the houses and daeul gets pity likings but he's also a little baby so i want him#to get out of here and back to real life ! enjoy your youth!!!!!!! dont become an idol at age 15 or however young you are
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i tried to read one (1) fantasy novel written by a man and had to return it early
#i'd lulled myself into a false sense of security on my female author kick#forgot this is actually the norm#i chose it because i actually was really interested in the premise and worldbuilding and then it just took an ABRUPT turn#now that i look at them all the reviews are either men gushing about how amazing it is and then a few women being like 'uh...'#and like. i understand depictions of misogyny in books. especially when it leads to challenging a character's worldview#i am all for depictions of uncomfortable topics or points of view in fiction if it serves the story#but it's just so face-value and slap-in-the-face-unnecessary. the reviews that mention it at all say it only gets worse from here so#ran screaming back to one of my favorite authors that i TRUST#bea's thoughts
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sometimes i forget how distinctly american my mother is, and how we are generally a product of our surroundings
#personal#just found out she’s pro-military!!! and she was accusing me of being anti-military because of watching x files. like girl i am 10 episodes#into this show. i have had these views for a Long time (VERY specifically about the us military). and im just like. damn. like yeah of COURS#it’s not plastered everywhere. ‘give me some peer reviewed articles’ i would but i just cant bring myself to get the energy to get stuck in#this exhausting npd abuse loop again (sounds exaggerated but im basically falling for exacerbating the situation. which is why it’s always#hit me the hardest i guess. because she Will just straight up either not mention it ever again or just simply deny it. and i’m not exactly#educated enough on the subject to remember specific points. my memory has been destroyed BECAUSE of this kinda shit and i cant recall decent#argument points anymore. not that i even particularly want to!!! read up on all this shit!!!! oh and even realizing that she was Definitely#seeing me as an Extreme. like girl what. i forgot that npd does that#reminds me of how. she’s very liberal. she was the one who got me out of the closet in the first place (bc i wouldnt do so myself)#and yet the other day. i swear she said something that was almost terf rhetoric#FUCK i HATE that my memory has already scrambled it. fuuuuuck and here i thought my memory was coming back#but it was something along the lines of implying that men Would try to get into women’s shelters etc in a skirt or smth and i#i just stopped talking i was so shocked#god. sorry didnt mean to vent lmao but im. hhh im just Tired yknow?#mandont
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😫 Kiddo just finished fractions and moved to decimals, and I was making a nice lil note page for him to refer to, and screwed up in a big way at about 90% completion, and now I should redo the whole thing because it's hard to read in that one spot.
AND THEY WERE THE NICEST NOTES I EVER DID WRITE 😭😭😭
#misha rambles#I managed to screw up the portion on division the same way 3 times bc i kept reversing everything in my head#And in mentioning how to move the decimal point when doing multiplication or division#Brilliant me forgot the importance of dividend vs divisor and fucked up the whole section#Im mad at myself especially bc I always mention the import when reviewing it with him!!#SO HOW'D I. ME. OF ALL PEOPLE. FORGET???#(Answer: medication withdrawal)
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For poly!marauders request (I saw you asked for some) could you do one where the reader faints out of nowhere and the boys get all panicked and worried and fret over her? 🌙
Hii! Thank you for the great request🫶🏻 It’ll be the first time I do a Poly!Marauder fic so pls do bear with me, I tweaked it a bit, hope you enjoy!
Worried Sick
Pairings: Poly!Marauders x Reader
CW: Mentions of toxic habits, Sirius being an arse, reader fainting, and language.
To say that you were tired would be an understatement. You were exhausted- mentally, and physically as you were buried in a mountain of books, flipping through almost a hundred pages an hour as you tried to juggle three essays and review for NEWTS all at once.
You were so immersed in your studying, the sound of pages flipping and scratching of the quill against parchment made you slip into a hyper-focused mode that you don’t notice the passage of time making you effectively miss lunch and dinner.
“There’s my smart darling!”
Sirius grins, sneaking up to you and kissing your cheek. You jolted, looking up as you saw him, and your other boyfriends sit next to you in the library.
“Hey guys.” You try your best to muster up a cheery smile for them. Remus, who was seated beside you frowns as he notices your pale and tired face. “We haven’t seen you today, love.” You smiled sheepishly, “I was finishing up the essays we’re assigned this week.” Sirius shakes his head in a disapproving manner. “Darling, you know we could just copy off of Remus’s essay when he does it, right?” A protest from Remus was heard, making you chuckle.
“I don’t think our moony would appreciate that.” You cracked a small smile, “But he lets us copy off of his essays ever since we can remember!” James defended Sirius who nodded agreeingly.
“What we would appreciate though, is you not missing out on dinner.” Remus told you, pulling out an apple and two dishes that the house elves prepared, (bribed by James) placing it in front of you.
“Erm... I don’t really have an appetite right now, love.” You grimaced, seeing the stern expression of the werewolf. “You need to eat, darling.” James pleads, puppy eyes activating. You looked at the other two, they seemed to mirror James. “Please love, you’re making us worried sick.” Remus gently pushed the food in your direction.
“Alright then…” How could you possibly deny your adorable boyfriends?
This continued for a few days or so, each day got the boys increasingly worried than yesterday. Sleeping for four hours (five if you’re lucky) and studying all day became your new routine, you hardly even spend time with the boys anymore, only during breakfast at the great hall since you mostly skip lunch and dinner to study. If it weren’t for your friends and your boyfriends, you would’ve already starved.
You groaned, plopping down in between Remus and James, taking a bite of the toast in front of you, and ignoring the light headedness you were feeling since you woke up. Marlene looked up from her plate and winced as she took in the sight of you.
“Merlin, y/n. You look worse than a dementor.”
“Thanks Marls, appreciate it.” You grumbled, taking a swig of the pumpkin juice, grimacing as you felt that a huge gulp of the beverage and a small bite of toast was too much for your stomach to handle.
“I’m serious, when was the last time you had a good night’s rest?” She frowns, shaking her head as she gave a pointed look at your boyfriends. “There’s already three of you and you can’t even manage to take care of your girl?”
“Not my fault she chooses to stick her nose into books rather than spending time with us.” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his dramatic and petty side surfacing. “Pads.” Remus warns, the light headedness that you’ve felt suddenly worsens as you feel the urge to throw up. Lily seemed to notice, shooting a worried glance on your way as you waved it off.
“What Moony? It’s true! It’s like she forgot she even is in a committed relationship with us.” Sirius spat, getting riled up as James tried to diffuse the situation. “Sirius, I already said I’m sorry…” She rasped out, trying to reach for his hand but he jerked it away. “Don’t be a knobhead, Pads.” Remus glares at him, irritated by how he’s acting.
Sirius rolled his eyes, it was obvious that he was hurt; You rarely spend time with them anymore, accidentally pushing them away and shutting them out just because of those stupid academics. “Whatever.” He grunts, and stands up, walking away from the table.
You felt yourself get weak; as the great hall spins around you, cold sweat started to form on your temple as spots slowly made it’s wany into your vision. Despite your body practically screaming for you to just sit and stay still, you push yourself from the benches and follow him. “Sirius, love- “He turns to you, frowning. “What now?”
You opened your mouth, about to say a word when suddenly your legs gave out, the spots grew larger as you tried to look at Sirius before your world suddenly faded to black. You heard screams from the students, the loudest ones you recognized were from your friends, especially Marlene and Lily.
“Shit!” Sirius was thankful for his awfully fast reflexes that he managed to catch you before you hit your head on the cold floor. James and Remus rushed to the both of you. “Bloody hell, Pads!” James kneels in front of you, gently tapping your cheek as a sense of urgency surrounds them. “Darling, please open your eyes, can you hear me?” James asked you, every second that ticks makes the feeling of dread in his stomach grow larger.
“P-prongs, Moony… I promise I didn’t know she was going to faint…” Sirius whimpered as he cradles you, eyes looking frazzled and darting back and forth between his lovers. James felt his breath become faster, as you didn’t respond to any of his attempts. Other students started to gather around to take a peek on what’s happening in the middle of the great hall while Marlene and the other Gryffindor students kept them from nearing. Remus knelt next to James, trying not to freak out like what the other two are already doing. He slowly placed his trembling hand on your forehead. “No fever, but we need to take her to Madame Pomfrey.” He announces, biting his lip as Sirius lifts you up bridal style, the three of them rushing you to the hospital wing.
The bright and harsh light of the hospital wing made you wince, you slowly blink, trying to adjust to the brightness of your surroundings. “Darling! You’re awake!” James tackles you into a hug, almost squeezing out the air from your lungs.
“Prongs! Be careful!” Remus’s tone was harsh, as if scolding James. The boy slowly pulled away, pouting, which Remus had ignored. “How are you, love?” Remus’s gaze softened as he looked in your direction, taking your hand in his as he rubbed circles in the back of your hand.
“For the most part, I’m fine.” You croaked out, James immediately gave you water. After taking a few sips, you let your eyes wander around, someone was missing- Where’s Sirius?
James seemed to catch on this, “He’s outside, beating himself up for being an arsehole.” You frowned, “Can you please tell him to come in? I want to see him…” You mumbled, James nodded and fetched Sirius outside of the hospital wing.
After a short while, Sirius emerged, darting his eyes anywhere but onto you. “Love…” You gently called out to him; Sirius bit his lip as he finally took in the sight of you. “Darling, I’m sorry. I was such an arse to you.” He sincerely apologized while you shake your head, “I’m sorry too, I was stressing out too much. I barely even managed to take care of myself and spend time with you guys.”
“Just don’t do it again, darling. We almost lost our minds when you fainted.” James told you as he tucks stray hair behind your ear.
“I won’t do that again; I’ll just copy off of Moony’s work.” She chuckled, glancing at the said boy, she saw the twinkle in his eyes as he smiled and rolled his eyes playfully.
The sun’s rays filtered out in the curtains of the hospital wing, encasing the four in a warm glow as they conversed amongst themselves, putting the events behind them; silently promising to love and care for each other, through thick and thin.
#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders x you#marauders era#marauders fanfiction#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#the maruaders#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#harry potter
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Ethics Review
Dave Matthews voice: I DID IT
Tav (reader) and Astarion pay his old office at the Courts a visit in the middle of the night for funsies and things get spicy.
aka it's the switchy bitchy magistrate roleplay fic
Rating: E
Word Count: 5.2k
Pairing: Astarion/reader (Tav)
Content: 18+, light BDSM elements, sexual roleplay, bitches be switches, dirty talk, spanking, orgasm denial, light edgeplay, oral sex, PIV sex (AFAB reader, not gendered)
AO3 Link
It’s late, but then, it’s always late when you’re out with Astarion these days. By necessity, mostly, but also because it’s the best time for the pair of you to get up to your more unsavory plans without catching the watchful eye of the newly-reformed Fist.
“Where are you taking me?” you laugh as you follow him through a series of dark alleys. “This better not end with me having to send for Gale to get your hand out of another magicked jar.”
“Never going to let me live that down, are you?” He looks over his shoulder and gives you an affectionate smirk.
“Not ever.”
Astarion peers around the corner of a brown brick building, checking that the coast is clear. To you, he says, “You’re lucky I’m such a kind and forgiving soul.”
“Ah, yes,” you agree, wrapping your arms around him from behind and nuzzling his neck. “Two of your most obvious and accurate qualities.”
He chuckles. “We’re almost there. Come on.”
A labyrinthine dozen alleyways later, you’re deposited in an open square, quiet and still. The cobblestones are dark with recent rain, sending their petrichor scent into the air. As you follow Astarion out into the space, you realize where you are. It’s the Courthouse District of the Lower City, where people are tried and held for petty crimes that aren’t suitable for Wyrm’s Rock.
You huff a laugh through your nose and look over at your partner with a raised eyebrow. “Did you need to tell me something? Have a court date you forgot to mention?”
“Hush,” he playfully scolds you, holding a finger up to his lips. “Let me think a moment.”
He peers up at a particular building on the square and furrows his brow, closing his eyes and moving his hands through the air. You fold your arms and watch as he moves his fingers like he’s following a path only he can see, turning corners and raising level by level. At last, he opens his eyes, and points at window on the third floor, two in from the corner.
“That one,” he says.
“That one what?” you prompt.
He grins devilishly. “That…” he points again. “... is my old office. I thought we might pay it a visit.”
“To what end?” you laugh.
“What can I say, I’m feeling a touch nostalgic these days.” He keeps his eye on the window and beckons you to follow closer to the building. “Something about my old haunts is calling to me.”
Behind where he can’t see, you pay him an affectionate smile. In the last year or so since the fall of the Nether Brain, you’ve seen the city rebuilt and gone on your fair share of adventures and quests, always searching for some way to give Astarion back the sunlight you promised him. No luck yet, but there have been promising leads here and there. It’s not a lost cause. Not yet.
The last few months in particular have seen certain changes in your lover. The terror and fear he carried for so long clung to him like a shadow, and ever so slowly it’s beginning to lift. His laugh is more present than before, more real. The intimate moments you share are filled with trust and care, even as you get more comfortable pushing a few boundaries here and there.
Most of all, he’s been remembering. Not everything. There are parts of his past forever lost to him, written over by more years of torment than he ever had of life. But there’ve been flashes every now and again of who he used to be. Some of them he likes, some he loathes. He doesn’t always talk about it, but you know being able to pick up a piece once in a while has meant a great deal to him.
So you follow along with whatever little game he has planned.
He walks along the building, scanning the brick for footholds. Just as he puts his hand on a storm drain and tenses to leap, you halt him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. When he looks back at you, you flick your eyes up toward the window.
“Three up, two in from then end?” you ask.
He nods.
“Allow me, love.”
You hold up your hand and cobalt magic pools in your palm, forming into a sphere. You send it up above you, the arcane eye floating until it finds the correct window before it slips inside. You blink, your own eyes glowing blue as you use your magic to scan the room. It’s certainly an office of some sort.
Astarion takes your hand when you hold it out for him and instantly you’re transported inside the office thanks to a handy little dimensional door spell you picked up on one of your many adventures. You wave away the arcane eye and give Astarion a wink.
He smirks and shakes his head at you. “Take all of the fun out of the thing, why don’t you,” he says through his smile. “Suppose I’ll have to make do with checking that the place isn’t alarmed. Alas.”
The place is, indeed, alarmed. Astarion manages to disarm two common magic wires and one trickier sending stone scattered throughout the room. You reach out through the Weave for any other whispers of magic. Some artifacts and lightly magical office supplies. Nothing worrisome.
Once you’re both satisfied that you won’t end up immediately arrested, Astarion moves to the center of the room, hands clasped behind his back. You’re quiet as he scans the walls, turning in a slow circle as he takes everything in. His fangs flash as he gives a quiet laugh.
“The layout is different, and the color,” he says. “But yes, this is the place.” He furrows his brow slightly and holds out his hands, eyes on the floor. “I… worked here. Me. A magistrate.” His eyes find you and his smile widens. “It was a lie for so much longer than it was a reality. But it was a reality, once upon a time.”
“I’m surprised,” you say, folding your arms and nonchalantly stepping closer. “The way you spoke and dressed when we first met, I thought you must’ve been an Upper City fancy defending-the-powerful type.”
Astarion clicks his tongue at you. “Now, don’t be judgmental. That’s my job.” He waves a hand through the air. “I was quite young in my career, but I was working my way up. All the way to the third floor, thank you.”
You come in to wrap your arms around his waist and lean your head on his shoulder. “I’m proud of you. Genuinely.”
He spreads his fingers over your forearm, pressing his lips to your hair. “Thank you. That’s always nice to hear.” He clears his throat and removes your arms, backing away from you with a toss of his head. “But don’t be too proud. I wasn’t exactly a… what’s the term? Model citizen.”
Astarion begins to walk around the small table with four chairs set in the center of the room.
“Oh?” you say, walking around the other side to mirror him. “Were you terribly corrupt?”
He pauses and tilts his head, shrugging. “‘Terribly’ is such a strong word, isn’t it? Lets just say I may have been known to, ah… sway the odds in my favor.”
You stop and look across the table at him. “What do magistrates even do, exactly? What did you do, specifically?”
“An absolutely stupid amount of paperwork, as I recall,” he says. “At least, I certainly remember hating every scrap that came across the desk. Meting out appropriate punishment for any minor and petty crime you can think of, most of them horrifically boring. But…” He leans over the table and holds up a finger. “... sometimes I got to conduct interviews to determine if crime was worthy of Wyrm’s Rock, and I was very good at getting the verdict I wanted.”
You rather like seeing this side of Astarion. Honest pride, confidence, and authority. The tip of your tongue runs along your bottom lip as you take in your love leaning over that table, dappled in moonlight. Gods, he’s beautiful.
“And how did you do that?” You pop your hip and raise your thumb to your mouth, teasing your lip as you peer up at him through your eyelashes. “Exactly?”
Astarion notices the shift in your demeanor immediately, his own eyes going half-lidded as they track the path of your hand to your mouth. His grin goes predatory and he leans back so he can come around the table to you and pull out the chair.
“Please, darling,” he says, nodding for you to sit. “Let’s talk, you and I.”
You pay him a sultry smile and sink into the chair, which he pushes in under you. Then he walks back around to the other side with his spine straight, hands folded behind his back.
A new game begins.
Astarion rolls out his shoulders as if he’s shedding a coat. When he turns to look at you, he does so down the length of his nose, his hard gaze making it clear that he thinks you beneath him.
You shiver as a thrill runs down your back and attempt to hide it.
He shakes his head above you, tutting. You’ve disappointed him.
Instinctively, you shrink into your chair slightly as he leans forward and places the tips of his fingers against the table in front of him, continuing to lower his face until it’s a mere foot from yours.
“A pathetic display back there,” he says, voice dripping with condescension. “Your associates have hung you out to dry. You do know that…” He tilts his head. “... don’t you?”
You swallow the lump in your throat and drop your eyes. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“Silly little patsy,” he chides as he straightens to glare down at you again. “Such stars in your eyes for friends who would sooner see you burn than stick their necks out for you.”
“I’m not telling you anything,” you say, raising your eyes to him in defiance even as you let a waver of nerves shake your voice.
“What must it be like to be so tragically misguided?” he sneers. It’s like an echo of a man you once knew. One you met on a sunny beach amid burning wreckage.
You blink up at him, eyes going soft. “I can’t betray them.”
“Betray them,” he breathes, huffing a mirthless laugh as he leans one hand onto a nearby chair. “My dear, they are in the next room, and the room after that, giving you up as we speak. No loyalty among thieves, I fear.”
“No,” you gasp. “They wouldn’t.”
Astarion holds a finger up to his lips, shushing you. “I think you know better than that. But fine, have it your way. Don’t give them up to save your own hide. Let me sweeten the pot.”
He turns his body so he can side-sit on the table and put his first knuckle under your chin, lifting it so he can inspect you. The corner of his mouth ticks up. “Gold to line your pockets, perhaps?”
Though you try to stop it, your body betrays you as a bright blush blooms across your nose and cheeks. Astarion’s pupils dilate above you.
“Or something else entirely?” he whispers, tilting his mouth closer to yours. “I’d much sooner send those two cads to Wyrm’s Rock in your place. Help me, and maybe you and I could have a bit of…” His eyes trail down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and beyond before he looks back into your eyes. “... fun in celebration.”
“Why would you do that for me?” you whisper back.
He shrugs. “What can I say? I rather like you. Plus, I might get a little kickback in the form of a promotion for bringing in two thorns in the Fist’s side, but that’s neither here nor there.” He rolls his eyes and pays you a flirtatious smile on the last bit.
And that… is your opening.
Your expression grows serious and you note the moment that Astarion’s eyebrows give the briefest twitch of concern.
"You've overplayed your hand, Magistrate Ancunín," you say.
Astarion draws his hand back and gives you a perplexed look. “Have I?”
You smile, then. Calm and dangerous. "I've been sent by the Board of Ethics, you see."
Astarion is thrown by this turn, but he recovers quickly, offering a simpering smile. "Oh? Oh, dear. Seems I've been caught with my pants down."
You stand, holding his eye. "Indeed. Best go place your hands on the desk where I can see them."
With a flourish, he holds his hands up for you to see. No funny business, none at all. He goes to the desk and spreads his palms flat against the polished wood. He must feel the heat of your skin as you come close, only inches away. Inspecting. Considering.
You lean in close to his ear. "Say our word if you'd like me to stop, Ancunín," you whisper.
"Stop what?" he asks.
In answer, you grab his hips and pull them flush against your own with enough force that he gasps from it, genuinely surprised. In his ear again, you whisper, "Teaching you a lesson."
You release him and move to his side. He turns his head to look at you and you can see the openmouthed surprise in his face, but it’s more than that. Surprised, yes, but also open. Interested. Very turned on. You know this look.
This is Astarion’s “oh, we’re doing that thing I like?” look. It’s a good look on him.
You tap a finger on his nearest hand. “Keep these exactly where they are. I must warn you that you face serious repercussions for witness tampering. I have some questions. Answer them to my satisfaction, and I may consider…” Your gaze trails down to the front of his trousers, which are straining. When you meet his eye again, you add, “... reinstatement.”
Astarion tilts his chin down so he can give you a heated look. “Then by all means,” he says, lips parted. “Ask.”
“Hm,” you hum as you trail your fingers over the desk as you walk around to the other side. You mimic his stance with your hands on the table, though yours is one of authority while his is one of awaiting judgment. He tilts his head at you in question, gaze hot. You match it.
“Let’s start with an easy one.” You tilt your head toward the wall without breaking eye contact. “That placard hanging there. What is it?”
He looks and then huffs through his nose. “It’s an oath.”
You tilt your head the other way. “And what does it say?”
Astarion smirks. “‘As an officer of the Court, I will strive to conduct myself at all times with integrity, dignity, and honor.’”
“That’s right,” you say, nodding. “Now tell me, Ancunín… do you feel you’ve conducted yourself in accordance with that oath?”
“Of course,” he answers without hesitation, flashing you a winning smile. “I offered you the utmost dignity and honor, did I not?”
An idea occurs to you and you imagine he catches the twinkle in your eye as you raise one of your hands to click your fingers, a glowing web of pale blue stretching to cage you both inside. Astarion frowns up at it. The moment he realizes what you’ve done, he gives you a look that’s half-exasperated and half-devious.
“What’s this?” he says, playing along.
“A little insurance policy. To ensure your adherence to honesty.” You reach to the collar of your shirt and undo one button. Then another.
Then another.
Astarion struggles to keep his eyes on your face, but when you lean back down onto the table, he can’t help but sneak a peek.
You toy with another button. “Why don’t you tell me what you think about dignity now?”
Astarion bites the corner of his lip to keep his expression serious. He keeps his eyes trained on your chest and seems to carefully consider his words before he says, “I maintain that I respect the dignity of your tits.”
That’s not what he meant to say. He blinks. His eyes flick up to yours. “Your position,” he amends.
His eyes flick back down. “Your position and your tits.”
“Ah,” you say. “Yes, I thought that might be the case. That you might be… what do they say? Dipping your wick in the law office wax.”
You stand and come back around to his side, maintaining your spell as you do. Astarion tracks you all the way back around.
“I’d like you to be as honest with me as you can be,” you say softly. “Not that you’ve much choice. So, in that case, here’s some extra… motivation.”
You’re behind him now and you hear his sharp intake of breath when he feels your palms spread over either side of his hips before moving around to the ties at the front of his trousers. You loosen them just enough to give you space.
Astarion’s knuckles are going white where he presses his fingers against the desk.
Your fingers are soft and warm against his lower abdomen as they dip below his waistband, then inside his underthings. You find what you seek and grip it firmly, fisting the length of him. He bites back a groan and flexes his hands against the wood as you draw him out into the open air.
“You do keep it cool in here,” you whisper into his ear. You keep your touch light as you tease his cock, just enough to make him want but not nearly enough to satiate the need. “Why is that?”
Astarion swallows and looks at you out of the corner of his eye. “A little discomfort loosens the tongue, I find.” He struggles to keep the breathiness out of his voice and very nearly succeeds.
Nearly.
Your smile is wicked. “I see. Well.”
You rest his hardened length against the varnished wood of the desk. It’s cool on his touch-warmed skin and he whines lightly as you leave him there to walk around to his other side, fingertips drawing a trail across his broad back and shoulders.
“In that case, we’ll be leaving that…” You glance down at his cock, then back at his face. “… out in the cold until you’ve answered my questions to my satisfaction. Understood?”
He takes a deep breath through his nose and meets your eye. “Completely.”
“Good.” You move one of his misplaced curls back into place. “If I’m satisfied, I just might let you warm it up again. We shall see.”
“Indeed we shall,” he says, voice dropping deeper, and you can sense the challenge there. You smile as you turn away from him.
“Let’s try again,” you say. “Do you make a habit of lying to your interviewees in hopes of manipulating a confession?”
“Is ‘lying’ the word we want to use?” he says with a lilt.
“Yes.” You turn back to look at him.
He clears his throat, chewing his tongue to hide another smile before he looks away. He thinks a moment, then says, “I occasionally massage my message to pave the way for a more fruitful discussion in my favor, yes. Only in the interest of this office and my personal satisfaction.” He smirks at you, clearly pleased with himself.
You shake your head. “My, my. And just when I thought we were getting somewhere. Perhaps you need a reminder that I hold your immediate future in my hands?”
When you move back in and loosen his trousers still further to shove down his hips and below his arse, he wriggles to help. He seems to think he’s won this phase of the game. Adorable.
Rather than give him any relief, you reach out to the desk and pick up a wooden ruler, thin and flexible. Astarion opens his mouth, presumably to ask what you’re doing, but doesn’t get the chance as you use the flat of the ruler to give him a quick smack on his bare arse.
He cries out in surprise and looks around at you. You raise an eyebrow at him and give him the opportunity to call his out. Instead, you watch his eyes darken. He’s still in. Which is good, because gods above if you aren’t beginning to make a mess of your underwear already.
“Do you understand your situation?” you ask.
“Maybe you ought to remind me again,” he rumbles.
You do, leaving another slap on his pale skin. A shiver travels up his back from the base of his spine all the way up.
“I understand,” he says.
“Very good,” you say. “Do you manipulate the outcomes of your interviews?”
“Sometimes, yes,” he says quietly, peering up at you from under his brows.
“Thank you for your honesty. With bribery?”
He nods.
You bend forward so you’re eye-to-eye. “And do you frequently offer favors of a sexual nature?”
Astarion’s gaze drops to your mouth and he blinks heavily. “That’s only for when I see someone I like,” he says.
There’s another slap to his arse, quick as reflex, and he gives a small, broken “a-ah” as he drops his head. He spoke the truth, your spell ensures that, but you want him to be more specific. You look down to see he’s subtly grinding himself against the desk, his cock beginning to weep pre-fluid as you watch.
You place the ruler against his back to hold him in place. “None of that,” you say. “Not until you clarify. Why me?”
He groans in frustration. “Because I like you. Because I’m attracted to you. Because I want to be inside you and fuck and fuck and fuck until we’re both hoarse from crying our ecstasy.”
Well. The pair of underwear you’re wearing are officially done for, you fear.
“What a wicked tongue you have,” you breathe, not quite able to keep up your aura of authority. You swallow and add, “Perhaps I’ll consider letting you off with a warning if we can figure out a better use for it.”
Astarion goes to his knees so quickly it makes your head spin. You don’t hesitate to take care of the bindings on your own trousers and he’s eager to help, shoving your clothing to the floor. You’re trying to remove a boot when he presses his face into the crux of your legs and runs his tongue along the seam of you so hotly that you nearly fall over. You lean down and give him another half-hearted smack. All it does is elicit a groan against your most sensitive of places.
With some struggle, you manage to remove the boot, kick your trousers and underthings off of one leg, and hop up to sit on the desk, Astarion follows you along, refusing to let you leave him now that he’s on you. His mouth works against you on its own, tongue lapping firmly at the edges of your cunt, flushing you and making you swell. He hasn’t even touched your clit yet and you know you’re already slick with desire.
You’re so momentarily distracted that you almost miss where his hands have gone.
Chest heaving, you weakly wave to dismiss your Zone of Truth and call up your mage hand, sending it down where you can’t reach to grab the wrist of the hand Astarion’s using to pump his cock while he licks at you.
“I don’t think so,” you gasp. “Still on… probation.”
You’re losing the thread and you’re perfectly okay with it.
Astarion growls in response and comes up higher on his knees, wrapping his arms around your lower back and pulling you tight against his face. His tongue finally finds your center and he rolls it against your entrance, plying the place just inside that makes you go flush with arousal, your clit swelling further. Then he finally pays it attention with a light draw followed by firm circles, teasing until you feel sparkles of arcane energy tingling at your fingertips and zaps of pleasure shoot through your core.
He holds you so tight to him that there’s no escape from the assault of pleasure he’s waging on your body. All too soon, you’re whimpering as you approach your peak.
And Astarion simply stops. He leaves you there, right before the edge, and you cry out in dismay and frustration. Before you realize what’s happening, he’s on his feet and pulling you onto yours, spinning you around until your hips are pressed to the edge of the dark wood. You can feel his rock hard length against the cleft of your arse, feel the wetness at the tip of him against your lower back.
“You’ve overplayed your hand this time, I think,” he pants into your ear. “Let your guard down. What member of the Board of Ethics accepts bribes?”
When you try to wriggle free, you feel his fingers at your wrists. He takes your hands and spreads them on the desk as you’d done to him, bending you over. His hips draw back and then return and you feel his hardness drag over your folds from behind, teasing but not quite putting pressure on your clit.
His breathing is heavy, but through it, he manages, “This time, you tell me the truth. Why did you meet with me?”
“To catch you out,” you gasp. “Your behavior has been… unethical.”
“Is it unethical to recognize when someone wants your cock?” he whispers, sending a tingle over your shoulders. “Is it against my oath to offer?”
“That’s not… I didn’t…”
The head of his cock nudges your clit and you both hiss through your teeth. He pulls back until he catches at your entrance, pushing in just barely. Just enough to begin to feel him, but nowhere near enough of him. Instinctively you arch your back harder, trying to take more, but he won’t let you.
“Beg me,” he growls in your ear. “Beg me for my cock. Tell me it’s why you came here.”
Your very last thread of remaining restraint is pulled to its absolute limit, but it doesn’t break quite yet. “I came here on orders to uncover a magistrate with loose morals,” you manage.
Astarion reaches a hand up to the hair at the back of your head, grabs a handful, and gently pulls to bend your head back. Directly into your ear, he whispers, “You’ve found him. Now beg for it.”
In the quiver of his voice, you can hear that he’s the one begging you.
So you give in.
“I came here for you,” you whisper back. “Please, let me. Let me take your cock.”
His breath shudders out of him. “Take it you shall.”
Astarion thrusts his hips forward, burying himself in you, and you hardly have time to so much as gasp before he sets a punishing rhythm, one arm around your waist to hold you in place and the other one still tangled up in your hair. You arch deeply, giving him as much access as you can, and he pounds into you relentlessly. On the outskirts of your awareness, you feel bruises beginning to form on your hipbones from where they repeatedly hit the desk.
You don’t care one whit.
He keeps you bent over the desk, your palms spread to keep you both upright as he fucks you hard, his moans trapped behind his clenched teeth. As you fly full speed back to your edge, he removes the hand from your head and absently places it over your mouth to muffle your own escalating cries.
The coil of your climax tightens and Astarion begins to mutter a steady mantra of “yes, yes, yes, gods, yes” beside your ear. He presses himself all the way to the hilt and rocks, the base of him stretching you just right and his balls pressed firm to your clit and there, oh there, it’s right-
You scream behind Astarion’s palm as you come, the delicious tension boiling and spilling over as contractions roll through you, pleasure washing over your body with every heartbeat. You nearly blank out for a second and when you blink back down, your lover continues to pump into you as he chases his own end.
With a shaking hand, you call up your mage hand from where it shimmers nearby and press it to his chest, pushing back with soft pressure.
“No,” Astarion whines, attempting one or two more thrusts before you back him up. “No, please, please, I didn’t finish, I-”
You turn, bottomless and eyes full of fuck and revenge, and add your own hands to the mix, all three pushing him back until he hits the deposition table, going flat on his back. You crawl up over him and straddle him, up on your knees just out of reach.
You look down upon him, beautiful and fucked out in the moonlight. “Do you regret any of it?” you say.
“I’m regretting a lot of my decisions at the moment,” he snarks. His lips part as he breathes.
With a smile, you roll your hips just enough to catch the head of his cock back at your opening. “Do you regret any of it?” you repeat.
He pants, looking up at you. Then he reaches up to grip the front of your shirt and pull you down over him in a searing kiss. When you break, he whispers, “No. Not a moment. It brought me to you.”
You roll back, sinking down onto him. He gasps and throws his arms around you, helping you get back into rhythm, and he’s so close that it’s barely any time at all before he arches his back clear up off the table and groans as he spills inside of you, the relief painted across every inch of his face. He comes for nearly a minute, twitching and humming beneath you until he finally relaxes into a boneless heap.
When he next opens his eyes, you lean down and catch him in another kiss.
The pair of you have barely redressed and cast a few prestidigitation cantrips as a courtesy before there’s a sound somewhere down the hall. Footsteps. Coming closer.
“Shit,” Astarion whispers, startled. He grabs your hand and spins you both into a dim corner of the room before you both cast Invisibility. Just in the nick of time, it appears, because there’s a jangle of keys and then a harried-looking halfling comes bustling into the room, dark bags under their eyes.
They grumble to themselves for a moment, going to a box to sort through files. They don’t find what they’re looking for and move on to the desk. Once there, they open a drawer, then wrinkle their nose.
“Bleeding hells, it smells like sex in here,” they grumble. “Gonna tell Jackobson that Cole has been using his office again. Teach that arsehole for making me come fetch the file he forgot.”
The halfling pulls a file from the drawer, slams it, and exits the room.
Neither of you move for the rest of the minute your invisibility lasts. As soon as the cloaking spell fades, you both collapse to the floor in quiet giggles. You kiss Astarion through your laughter, again and again.
It’s nice to see this side of him.
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— taste
pairing: minho x fem!reader
genre: smut, fluff, established relationship, soft!dom minho.
content: 18+ minors dni. warnings below cut.
word count: 4.3k
summary: your boyfriend has been working out, but when you notice his appeal for praise being ignored by his friends, you decide to show him how beautiful you think his body is.
profanity. unprotected intercourse. afab!reader. hurt/comfort. hints of jealousy. hints of possessiveness. pet names. dirty talk. grinding. hints of breeding kink.
It had been awhile since your boyfriend’s friends had come around to the apartment you shared together. So when Jisung mentioned wanting to do a Scream marathon, Minho had suggested doing it at your place. You didn’t mind; you liked his friends. You also didn’t mind the idea of cuddling up to your boyfriend on the couch for hours. It’s not that he wasn’t affectionate but he was so busy all day; the only opportunity you really had to be close to him was in bed each night. He usually got home after you’d gone to bed, waking you with a whisper in your ear and a kiss on your forehead.
He had a few days off over this weekend so here you were; cuddled on the couch, well into the second Scream movie. Honestly, at this point you were just doing your best to stay awake, and by the look of Changbin nodding off across the room, so were the others. You looked up at your boyfriend’s face to see him still watching the screen.
He didn't watch movies very often, but when he did, he would watch the entire time and still somehow forget every single character's name by the end. You'd once joked about how you wanted him to write up a report reviewing the film you'd just finished: Pride & Prejudice, your favourite. He'd asked you when you wanted it finished by and when you'd replied Sunday night and tapped him on the nose he'd said nothing. You promptly forgot. 4 days later you were getting into bed after feeling a little down all day. Minho was working late as usual and you hated going to bed alone. Your phone vibrated from the nightstand and you reached over to grab it.
my review of that movie
pretty music
wanna go to that big fancy house with my pretty girlfriend
5/5 stars
my pretty girlfriend has pretty taste
You had fallen into bed and tucked yourself into the blankets, smiling to yourself and forgetting your bad mood.
i love you
You stared at the screen, waiting for his response. It took a little while, he must have been busy.
love you too my pretty baby
go to sleep
Smiling to yourself at the memory, you wondered if he was absorbing anything about the movie right now. You suspected he was often far away, thinking about something else. He was good at that. Zoning out; always deep in thought.
“I think everyone’s getting a bit sleepy,” you whispered.
He looked down at you, taking a second to process what you'd said before smirking.
“Oh yeah?" he squeezed you a little tighter. "Everyone? Or you?”
You couldn't help smiling back at him, you loved his teasing, not that you'd ever admit it.
“Everyone.” You nudged him with your knee. “Look at Changbin.”
He looked over at his friend sleeping with his head tilted back, mouth hanging open. You shifted a bit as he reached to grab a cushion with the arm that had been draped over your shoulder.
“Hey! Sleeping beauty!”
The cushion found its target, Changbin startled awake, looking around the room for his attacker. Noticing everyone laughing at him, he grabbed the pillow and flung it across the room where it hit Jisung directly in the face. You watched the falsely accused pillow thrower jump up and march across to Changbin where he proceeded to attempt to suffocate him with the cushion.
“They’re awake now.”
You looked back at your boyfriend who grinned at you before returning his attention to the attempted murder in progress.
“Okay! Jisung! Enough!” Chan shouted, struggling to sound assertive through his own laughter.
Jisung and Changbin were now on the carpet between the couch and the coffee table, Changbin holding Jisung down with his arms above his head.
“You think you’re stronger than me now, huh?” Chanbin asked, teasing the boy he was sitting on. “How many times have you even worked out this week? You’ve been looking a little.. frail.”
Jisung, who hadn’t been putting up much of a fight, suddenly pushed Changbin off him and into the couch you were sitting on with Minho.
“Watch it.” Minho shoved him away from the couch and into Jisung, amusement still clear on his face.
You probably should have known something like a brawl on the floor would be the outcome of your seemingly innocuous comment about everyone’s tiredness. Minho had a way of stirring his friends up for his own entertainment, and yours.
“Arm wrestle me right now.” Jisung was kneeling down at the coffee table, challenging his older and clearly bigger friend.
“Nah, it’s made of glass,” You watched Chan get up from the couch and lean down to grab one end of the table. “Help me move it. Have a push up contest instead.”
You sighed as you watched Chan and Jisung carry your table to safety, clearing a space on the carpet for an impromptu battle of the gym bros. Changbin was on the floor preparing himself before they’d even put it down safely in the kitchen. Your apartment was pretty small, you could just imagine tripping over it in the dark later when you inevitably forget the small glass table in the middle of your kitchen.
“You joining or what?” You hear Jisung ask Chan as they re-enter the living room.
“Yeah, may as well.”
Your boyfriend readjusts his position on the couch, pulling the blanket away so he can lean forward; likely preparing himself for more stirring.
“Why’d you do that? You wanna lose to two people now, Jisung?”
You laughed. Yep, more stirring. You watched Jisung getting more and more worked up. He looked between you and Minho.
“Fine, I’ll beat all three of you! You’re joining.”
Your boyfriend leaned back, spreading his legs and putting his hands behind his head.
“Nah, I'm good. I beat you last week.”
“Pussy. You just don’t wanna lose in front of your girlfriend.” Jisung smirked.
Minho dropped his hands from behind his head and brought them to rest on his thighs. He was silent as Jisung stared him down, raising an eyebrow.
"Fine. You get to lose to three people.”
Before rolling off the couch onto the carpet to join them he leaned over to kiss you on the cheek, “You can referee.”
5 minutes later Jisung was being held down by Changbin again while Minho and Chan celebrated around them, flexing their biceps and feeling themselves up. You watched as your boyfriend approached each member hands on each pec, attempting to get their attention. It wasn’t long ago Jisung probably would have beat him. You remembered when you first met how insecure he was about his body. When he discovered boxing and met Changbin they’d started going to the gym together practically every night. His body had transformed and he’d gained some confidence but you’d always notice him seeking praise. You watched him approach each of his friends obviously fishing for compliments.
You got up to get a drink, giving them all a moment for their testosterone levels to normalise and settle down. As you reached for the light after walking into the kitchen your shin collided with the glass table.
“Fuck!” You dropped to the floor, holding your shin and beginning to rock back and forth.
“What is it?! What happened?”
The lights flicked on and your boyfriend was crouching down beside you. You felt his hands in your hair, attempting to brush it away from your face.
“Are you okay? Did you stub your toe?”
“My shin.” You took your hands away from your leg. No blood. “It’ll be fine in a minute.”
He moved around to kneel in front of you, looking up into your eyes and smiling before leaning down and kissing your leg where the small mark was visible.
“Gross.” You looked up to see Jisung on the doorway, the others crowded behind him looking over his shoulders.
“Oh, fuck off,” Minho grumbled as he stood up, pulling you with him. “Move this table back while you’re at it.”
It wasn’t long after that Minho called it a night and you’d gone to shower while he showed his friends out. You found him in the kitchen a little while later, cleaning the dishes and humming to himself. You approached him slowly and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his back.
“I enjoyed spending time with your friends.”
“Did you really? I know they’re a lot.”
“I like them. Even when they’re a lot.”
“Not more than me though, right?”
He’d teased you once about liking Changbin more than him. He’d found out he’d taken you to give boxing a try. When you told your boyfriend he asked why you’d never gone with him. You told him the truth: he’d never asked. He was silent for a second then said, “Fair enough.” You thought it was all over and settled but when you turned away from him he grabbed you from behind, lifting you off the ground. He refused to put you down until you’d promised you liked him more than Changbin. When he eventually released you, he had a cheesy grin on his face.
You smiled at the memory. It seemed most of your memories were happy ones since you’d met him.
“I like you more than anyone.” You reassured him.
He put the last glass in the drying rack and turned around to face you.
“Really?” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Yeah.” You looked down, feeling a little shy, before looking up into his eyes. “Come to bed and I'll show you.”
He picked you up, laughing as you wrapped your legs around him. He carried you to your room and dropped you on the bed before kissing you gently.
“Let me have a quick shower,” he pulled his shirt over his head, “and then you can show me how much you like me.”
You watched as he walked into the ensuite, tucking yourself under the covers and preparing to give yourself a pep talk. You weren’t very outgoing in any aspect of life, including in the bedroom. Minho was always praising you, making you feel comfortable and beautiful. You often wished you had the courage to do the same for him. You weren’t great with words, same as him. He seemed to manage to use them well enough when it came to praising you though. It felt like as soon as you two were alone, he had no problem making you feel loved with words. You were going to try, too. You’d make sure he knew.
The bathroom door opened and Minho walked out with a towel around his waist, hair still dripping onto his bare shoulders.
“You haven’t fallen asleep have you?”
You sat up and watched as he walked to the chest of drawers, fishing out a pair of boxers. A drop of water dripped from his hair and rolled between his shoulder blades… and then down his back. Just as you watched it disappear behind the towel around his waist, the towel was dropped to the floor. You trailed your eyes from his ass to his thick thighs. God you loved his thighs. Your ex-boyfriend was pretty good looking. But his thighs.. well they weren’t… thick. They were pretty thin really. You didn’t realise you minded much until you slept with Minho the first time. Even back then, before he’d got really into the gym his thighs had been beautiful. He’d pulled his jeans down and you’d short-circuited. So much so, that he’d asked you if you were alright, if you were sure you wanted to do this; you’d pushed him onto his back, climbed onto him and kissed him until he was convinced you did. You wanted him very much.
“Enjoying the view?”
You snapped your eyes back up to his. Maybe zoning out was another thing you had in common.
“Yes.”
He raised his eyebrows. He was expecting you to tell him to shut up, like you often did when he teased you. He crawled up the bed to where you were leaning against the pillows.
“Do you think I'm pretty?” He smirked.
"Yes. Very. I think… I think you’re the prettiest.”
“You’re being very nice to me tonight.” He pulled you around so he was leaning against the pillows, you in his lap. “What have I done to deserve it? Hm?” He leaned forward and kissed your neck softly. “Was it the push up competition?” His kisses trailed up your neck, to your jaw, making a path towards your lips. “Did winning make you proud?” His lips found yours, making you forget what he’d been saying. You wrapped your hands around the back of his neck, pulling yourself closer to his body. He hummed into your mouth before pulling back.
“So it was that then?”
“What?”
He chuckled, “The push up contest.”
"Oh. No. I just… I'm showing you how much I like you, remember?” You played with the hair at the back of his head, unable to make eye contact.
“Does it make you shy? Being nice to me?” He wasn’t making fun of you but you couldn’t help being frustrated with yourself.
“You know I'm not good with words.”
“I know. You don’t have to use words.” His fingers under your chin lifted your gaze to his. “I know how much you love me.”
“But I want to show you.” Determined, you climbed off his lap. “Lay down.”
He studied your expression for a second before adjusting himself so he was laying down fully, head on the pillow. You climbed back onto him, sitting on his crotch so you could run your hands up and down his torso. He rested his hands on your hips, thumbs playing with the waistband of your sleep shorts.
“Take these off for me. Let me see you.”
You pulled his hands off your hips. “Not yet, I want to look at you first.”
“You are looking at me.”
“I want to kiss you.”
“Okay, come here and kiss me then.” He went to grab you again and you pushed his hands away.
“No, kiss you… elsewhere.”
He raised an eyebrow. “...Elsewhere?”
“Everywhere else.” You leaned down and attached your mouth to his neck before he could respond. It was an easy place to start. He loved when you kissed his neck. Sometimes, when you were trying to get your way, like when he wanted curry and you wanted pizza, all it took was pulling him close and giving his neck a few soft kisses. Even now you could hear his breathing getting a little shallower. You let your lips rest on his skin, barely touching, just letting your breath tickle him.
“I want to kiss you everywhere… because you’re so beautiful… everywhere.” You paused and when he said nothing, you continued. “Your neck,” you kissed his skin. “Your ears…” You brought your lips to his ear. “Close your eyes.”
You pulled back to look at his face. It was easier to speak when he couldn't see you. You traced your fingers over his face, from his forehead, down his cheek, across his lips. Then you kissed his closed eyelids, his nose, then his lips. The second your lips touched his, you felt his hands grab you around the waist and you were flipped onto your back.
“Let me see you now.”
“No.” You looked up into his eyes. “I wasn’t done. Let me finish.”
“Why?”
“I’m trying to show you.”
He sighed and flopped back down onto his back next to you. “If I knew ‘showing me how much you like me’ meant I couldn’t see or touch you, I wouldn’t have encouraged it.”
"Shut up.” You climbed back over him.
“Oh, so you’re still in there then.”
“Shut up, pretty please.”
He grinned. “Okay, since you’re being so nice to me.” He put his hands behind his head. “Go ahead.”
So you did. Starting from his chest this time. You kissed each of his pecs a few times each, making a circle around each nipple. You imagined marking a line with kisses as you went. You took your time, you wanted him to feel how much each kiss meant. Around each nipple… between his pecs… down his abs… around his belly button… down to the waistband of his boxers. You shifted down the bed, taking the moment’s pause to listen to how his breathing had changed, his chest rising and falling much quicker than it had when you’d started. You were too afraid to look up at his face though, so you began again, at the hem of his boxers. His thighs. God, his thighs. You touched your lips to his skin, then slowly, you trailed kisses down one, feeling the muscles tighten and loosen as he clenched. Before you started the same treatment for the other thigh, you couldn’t help but tell him: “You know, when I first saw them, that was the first time I thought you were perfect.”
“Them?”
He hadn’t said anything in so long his voice startled you and you found yourself looking up at his face before you remembered you definitely were trying to not do that. Well, too late now. You were looking. And god, he was beautiful. His cheeks were flushed, his hands had moved from behind his head to grip the sheets by his side. His hands, you couldn’t forget those. Those were next. You looked back at his face.
“Your… your thighs.”
His mouth opened slightly. You quickly look back down. Restarting your mission. The left thigh this time. You got half way down before you felt his hand on your arm.
“Sweetheart?”
You looked up. He was sitting up.
“You can stop now. I want you now.” His hands moved to tug at the hem of your t-shirt. “Please.”
“But I haven’t finished.”
You let him pull your shirt up over your head, sitting up in his lap so you could lift your arms up.
“I know, but you did so well. You’re so perfect.” He muttered, kissing you the moment your shirt was over your head.
“So are you,” you murmured, between kisses. “so, so perfect.”
You felt him smile. “You’re being so good for me…” his mouth went to your neck and he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts. “so sweet.” He pulled the shorts down over your ass. “Lift up for me.. hm? Good girl.”
“But I haven’t finished,” you repeated.
“What were you gonna do next?”
“Your hands.”
“My hands?” He lifted his left hand from your waist so he could inspect it. “They’re always calloused and bruised from the gym.”
“They’re beautiful.” You took his hand and lifted it to your mouth, pressing a kiss to his palm, then turning it so you could kiss each knuckle. “They’re strong, and beautiful and…” You’d been doing so well so far, you couldn’t really believe how much you’d managed to say to him.
“And..?”
"They make me feel nice.”
“Yeah? How?” He gathered your hair and brushed it behind your shoulders.
“When they… when you touch me.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere.”
His left hand was still in your grip. You hadn’t been able to look him in the eye—keeping your gaze fixed on his left hand as you traced patterns on his palm. He brought his fingers to your lips, touching them so lightly it almost tickled. You looked up at his face. His eyes were fixed on your mouth. He pushed the tip of his index finger between your lips pausing for a moment and then pushing it into your mouth. You wrapped your lips around him and sucked. Feeling his calloused fingertip on your tongue.
“How about here? Do you like when I touch you here?” He breathed. You nodded, mouth occupied.
“So pretty,” He pushed his finger further in, “So sweet for me,” then out, “Hot little mouth” and in again. “All mine.” He was muttering now, like he didn't mind if you heard him or not. Then his finger was gone and you were on your back again. His mouth was on yours, holding himself up with one arm while the other worked to get his boxers off.
“Can I feel you now? You’ve done so well. Got me all hard for you, hm? So good.”
You felt like your brain had been switched off, all that progress to tell him how you felt with words. And now you’re brainless. You felt him kiss down your body, giving you the same treatment you’d given him but much faster, much more urgency in his movements. When he reached between your legs he sat back, his gaze fixed on your cunt. He brought his finger to trace from your clit, down to your entrance, “All wet for me…”, he pushed his finger into you. “Does it feel nice when I touch you here, too?” He was looking at your face now.
“Ye-yeah. So nice.”
“Yeah?” He pulled his finger away and wrapped his hand around his cock. “What about this?” He stroked himself, up and down slowly. “What if I touch you with this? Does my cock make you feel nice, too? You kissed me nearly everywhere, except here.”
You nodded, pushing yourself down the bed, attempting to get closer to him.
“You were being so good with your words before, honey. Where have they gone? Hm?”
“I want it. Minho, please.”
“What do you want?”
“Your cock..please..it makes me feel so nice… I.. I love it. Your hands, too. Your thighs… and your arms and .. and-”
"Shhh, shh, baby. It’s okay. You’ve been so good.” He brought his hand to your leg. “Bend your knees for me.” He pushed them back towards your chest so he could move closer before touching your cunt with the tip of his cock. He tapped it a few times, groaning as he did it. Then he fell forward pushing your legs back down so he could hover above you. He brought his lips to yours, being much rougher than he had all night, tongue in your mouth almost straight away. With one arm holding himself up, he used the other hand to guide himself through your folds. Grinding himself on you while he desperately kissed you until you were out of breath.
“Inside.”
“I know, baby. I’m just getting myself all ready for you yeah? You’re so wet for me… gotta get my cock all wet too, hm?”
He guided himself to your entrance and put his face in your neck as he pushed in, groaning as he went. “All mine.” He stayed still when he bottomed out and brought his hand up to hold you behind your neck. “Just suck me right in, so good.” He liked having a hold of you there when you were in this position. Sometimes he’d hold your hands on the bed beside your head, each of his gripping yours. When you were on top he would always hold your waist or hips, sometimes your ass. He always kept a grip on you somewhere.
He was moving now, slow and deep at first. You wrapped your legs around him. You pushed your fingers into his hair, his face was still buried in your neck, leaving sloppy kisses.
“You’re so perfect. You make me feel so good.” You were murmuring into his ear. “I love you. All of you.”
He was speeding up the more you spoke, his moans in your neck getting louder, encouraging you to continue. This was the bravest you’d felt all night.
“I love your thighs, so thick and strong and pretty, hm? The prettiest.” His arm moved from the back of your head, to your waist, pulling you into him even closer. “Your hands too, so pretty. I want them touching me all the time. When you aren’t here I just think about your hands, how much I miss them on me.” He was sucking on your neck now between moans. “Your cock, too. I love when you fill me up; like you are right now. So full. You know what I love most though? I love when you cum inside me. I love feeling full of you. Can you fill me up baby? Please?”
He lifted his head from your neck and attached his mouth to yours, moaning as he sped up. The sounds of him entering you filling the room. He was barely kissing you now, more like sharing your breath; panting into your mouth.
“You’re so good to me. Love you so much. Cum for me.. wanna feel you.” He reached down and circled your clit as he spoke. “Gonna show you how much I love you, just like you did for me. I promise. I’ll show you.” He sat back on his heels and pressed his palm on your lower stomach. “Go on, come around me. Cream all over my cock.” He pressed a little harder on your lower stomach and you threw your head back as you came. He pressed himself on top of you and thrust himself into you, mouth hovering over yours again.
“Good girl. Gonna give it all to you. You can take it all, yeah? Keep you so full. Promise, baby. So full.” You watched his face as he stilled, his cheeks flushed, brows furrowed, sweat dripping down his temples. “So pretty.” You murmured. Then his face dropped into your neck again. You listened to his breathing. Heavy at first, then slowly returning to normal.
“Do you believe me now?”
“Hm? Do I believe what..” His voice was muffled. You pushed at him until he rolled over onto his back.
“That I like you most.”
He turned to look at you, then wrapped an arm and leg around you. “Yeah baby, I believe you. I like you most too.”
please reblog and share your thoughts. caption, tags, replies, or ask box, i read it all. feedback is what motivates me to write more!
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#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#lee know smut#minho smut#stray kids x reader#lee know x reader#skz imagines#skz scenarios#x reader
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first yiik impressions?
Hi. Thanks for your message. I've been thinking about this for days. I wrote paragraphs. Here you go!
Everyone talks up how the game is bad, but I've never looked into it much myself, so I went in with an expectation along the lines of "people whose opinions I often agree with think it was an awful mess, I'll likely think something similar". Expectations were low. Even then I wasn't really ready.
"YIIK" is a game of tedium. I don't think it's a game about tedium, that's something different (though it could be, if it was a different video game altogether; "what if the world was made of pudding" etc). To some degree I think the tedium is by design but I'm not really sure what it's in service of.
I don't think tedium in a video game is a bad thing. "Morrowind" and "Breath of the Wild" are two video games I like very much, and some of my favourite memories of those games are of slowly wandering through empty expanses, or having to suddenly deal with equipment degrading or supplies dwindling because I forgot to prepare. Moments like that feel thoughtful! They're interesting moments of reprieve or of tension that feel thoughtfully and intentionally designed! "YIIK" feels like trudging through chest-deep molasses so it can shout "hey did you know you're stuck in my molasses right now? that's weird, why are you stuck in my molasses right now? did you notice?" directly into your ear.
You'll notice this is a pattern.
Combat is turn-based and involves completing little minigames, timing button prompts or hitting targets or some such. It's a cute idea that wears out its welcome when you start realizing how long every single one takes to resolve, especially when you have multiple party members, and sometimes multiple enemies (I'm told this part specifically gets more egregious as the game goes on). I don't think it's awful or unsalvageable but I'm not super into it as of the point we're at.
This is a pattern.
Leveling up is a manual process that you have to unlock, and it involves going to a save point (any save point? we didn't check), to enter the Mind Dungeon, to enter the actual Mind Dungeon, to walk down a set of stairs and enter individual doors one-by-one, so that you can choose how you want to allocate stat increases, so that you can walk down a different set of stairs to commit your choices and spend your banked experience to level up. I think "you can only power up at specific points / times / locations" and the granularity of stat growth are interesting ideas, and the environment they made for it are a charming idea, and I don't think it needed to be a "Hotel Mario" level that you had to slowly walk through. It could have been a menu. They could have used the resources for a nice background or backdrop for a menu that accomplishes the same thing.
This is a pattern.
I haven't really mentioned anything about the story or writing yet. The protagonist's name is Alex and he's a very self-important nerdy misanthropic dickhead white man (a very specific kind of guy that I've definitely met at least once or twice) who is obsessed with a paranormal message board populated by people like him and desperate to find out more about the disappearance of a woman he witnessed. (The woman & her disappearance are based on the real life death of Elisa Lam & aren't handled with a whole lot of tact, IMO, but other people have put this into better words than I can right now. It sucks. It keeps coming up and it makes me bristle every time.) Alex is a bad person. I know he is. You know he is. The game knows he is. I've seen some reviews say a negative point of the game is "the main characters aren't likeable", which I don't really get, because that's the point of the characters, as far as I can tell. The issue, then, is how much time the game takes to exposit at you how bad the characters are. It's exhausting. Every time Alex has a monologue, it feels like it sums up to 10 minutes of "I am a bad person. I am a bad person. Alex is a bad person. This character is a bad person. Do you get it? He's a bad person. Alex is a bad person. Do you understand yet, player? Alex is a bad person. You should know that he's a bad person. Do you get it?"
This is a pattern.
(I don't know how interested I am in bringing up the game's lead writer right now, if at all, but there's a well-known anecdote where he talks about wanting to write a story about a bad person who is forced to grapple with himself and do better, and how the reason why his game wasn't well-received was because people who play video games didn't get it & weren't ready for a story like that. I dunno. I can understand being upset about negative reception to something you poured time and sweat into, and saying something hasty because of it. "Final Fantasy 4" is a beloved RPG classic, though, and "Disco Elysium" came out the same year to overwhelming praise. I haven't played either of these yet, though, so I'll admit maybe I'm off the mark here.)
The characters we've met so far (i.e. the ones that aren't unnamed NPCs) are… well. There's a smarmy younger kid who idolizes(?) Alex & also made the aforementioned paranormal website. So far it seems like he mostly exists to go "hey fuck you Alex, you dickhead" and immediately say something even more insensitive. There's the insensitive based-on-a-real=ass-dead-woman elevator woman, who immediately disappeared from the narrative while still being an essential part of the narrative. There was a dead(?) robot in a bedroom, who had a choir of ominous hooded people monologue about how weird and sad and strange and uncanny the scene is. What the!? There's a woman who works at the arcade and has Powers. Her design's cute. (I feel like, generally, the game's visuals are Fine. The audio, too. That all ranges from Just Fine to Surprisingly Neat. I don't really have much issue with those aspects of the game, but I don't have much to say about them either.) Alex and Kid Whose Name I Didn't Care To Remember are constantly very uncomfortable to her, because she's a woman and because she isn't white, in the 15 or so minutes we've seen her on-screen, and she gets to tell them off, but then immediately kind of goes "well whatever I can smile and put up with this and hang out with you". It feels misogynistic. I know to some degree Alex is misogynistic on purpose, because the game is bludgeoning your skull in and yelling "ALEX IS SHITTY TO WOMEN! AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR! DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SELF ABSORBED IN A SHITTY WAY! DO YOU GET IT, PLAYER? YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALEX SUCKS ASS YET? MAYBE 10 MORE MINUTES OF THIS WILL MAKE IT CLICK?" But for a woman of colour (the only one we've seen so far who isn't Probably Just Dead) to finally tell him off for being a shithead, only to turn around and go "well it's ok, you're cool now, let's hang out now because it's narratively convenient and you're the protagonist" is pretty damn egregious!
This is a pattern.
Writing in general feels stilted and long-winded. Most of the main characters feel like they don't talk like people do. Alex gets to feel like a person but that's mostly because he gets to talk to himself so damn much. Most of his monologues feel like overly flowery prose, like someone padded it out with identical adjectives to meet a school essay word count. There's an interesting idea or premise or setpiece every now and then. There's a spark. A glint of something compelling. Every single time this has happened so far I find it immediately snuffed out by an over-blown "oh my god!!!!!!! how weird!!!!!!', or a very long plot dump, or a Joss Whedon-ass quip. There can be no small moment of joy. No story element or visual element can stand on its own legs. There can be no room for ideas to breathe. No space for the player to wonder, to dream, to play in the space. The narrative is compelled to suffocate iself on itself, to take up all space, to swallow itself whole in its making. One very minor (so far?) side character has some interesting dialogue in this one dream world, and I think "oh that's neat", and then I learn they're lines taken wholesale from a book (and I think that's fine, reference is fine, but I have a bit of a chuckle over the fact that this character is the reason why the game has a giant REFERENCES option in the main menu). The literal first minute of the game is a bird telling you "oh my god, the title of this game, right? why'd they spell it like that? so fucking dumb, am I right!" It feels insecure. It reads like the writing has no confidence in itself. It has to make a comment about how silly and video-gamey it is, roll its eyes at itself, mock itself for the thing it's doing while continuing to do it without addressing it or discussing it or doing anything with it.
This is a pattern.
There's a specific part of "YIIK", at this early point in the game (we're only around the start[?] of chapter 2), that feels emblematic of the thing as a whole up to this point. Alex is getting phone calls from a stranger. They're confusing and weird and sound a little like something you might hear in a dream. They make references to some shared past, some childhood, some understanding of Alex, or maybe of you, the player. They've come up a few times. Every single time, I'm left thinking about what it could mean, how it fits in with everything we've seen so far & what the game seems to be talking about, with regards to connecting to other people and to yourself. It's a neat little thing. It's a neat idea. I'm charmed by it. As much as my thoughts on this game are largely negative, I still try to look at it fairly, to understand it, to talk about it, to let myself be surprised by it. As soon as I find myself thinking about this, my thoughts are immediately drowned out by Alex telling me how weird the phone call is, how random and uncanny and dumb this is, and how he's rolling his proverbial eyes about it, in spite of all the other paranormal happenings around him, for another period of Just Too Long. And I am sapped of all strength and I crumble to dust.
I'm genuinely transfixed. I'm transfixed! Maybe the fact that I wrote Paragraphs about the 4-or-5 hours I've seen of the game can tell you as much, even if you skip everything I wrote in them.
I can't wait to see more.
This, too, is a pattern.
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A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD
So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.
Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?
But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:
I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.
In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.
I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.
You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.
If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.
If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.
Anyway, let's get started.
What is ADHD?
According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:
Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.
Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.
Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.
Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.
Hyperactivity
One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.
In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.
Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.
Annabel.
Doesn't.
Sit.
Still.
Never.
It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.
This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.
Emotional Dysregulation
The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.
This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.
Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.
It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.
Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.
Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.
And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.
If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.
We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.
I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"
Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."
Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.
Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?
And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:
Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.
Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).
My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.
Codependency
Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.
As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.
The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.
This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.
But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.
The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.
And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?
What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.
Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.
But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.
If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.
Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards
Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.
New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.
So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."
One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.
If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.
It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.
Erratic Communication
When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.
One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.
Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.
That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.
This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.
Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.
Drinks that are like a pill
Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.
And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.
Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.
You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.
If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.
Boredom
We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.
Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.
Boredom
Is
Fucking
Murder
Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.
Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)
In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.
So…
Um…
…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.
Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.
#nevermore webtoon#annabel lee nevermore#lenore nevermore#white raven#annabel lee whitlock#lenore vandernacht#annabel lee x lenore#lennabel#nevermore webcomic
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To a Tea 2
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: A demanding customer grows increasingly needy.
Character: Raymond Smith
The title is a pun, don’t @ me.
Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved.
You don’t often miss work, but that week, a burst pipe throws everything off. A morning spent waiting on your landlord, then the next few hours for a plumber, has things a bit off kilter. Even the next day, you’re not quite back on point.
The patched wall next to fridge reminds you of the disaster and a dingy smell persists. You hope it doesn’t cling to you as you set off for your shift that day. If you can, you want to pick up some hours from others if their up for grabs. Harry doesn’t like Saturday’s, maybe he’ll hand over some.
You try to leave your problems behind as you catch a bus down to the city centre. You get to the tea shop five minutes before the hour. Jenna’s wrapping up the opening tasks as you go to leave your things in the back. You tie on your apron and unlock the front door for the first customers of the day.
At first, it’s a trickle. Never very much at all. The early risers who often come alone or if they aren’t, they don’t speak much or very loudly. The smell of fresh baking and the slow rising sun add to the lazy din.
“Thought the special was strawberry today,” you comment as you transfer macarons from a cooled tray to the display.
“Eh, it was but we didn’t have enough jam,” she shrugs. “Changed the sign, is all.”
“Ah, thought my mind was lagging again. Everything’s been off since yesterday.”
“Eh, how’s the apartment, anyhow? Marilyn said it was something about a leak?”
“Burst pipe,” you explain, “they took out the wall above the sink, buncha clanging all day. When I tell you this place is like heaven.”
She chuckles, “can be.”
“There’s a formal tea booked in the Marigold Room at noon,” she intones, “forgot to mention that. With Mother’s day coming up, suppose we’ll get more bookings.”
“Suppose,” you go to check the schedule hanging on the wall. “Party of twelve, wow.”
“I’ll man the till. Honest, since those ladies at New Years, I’ve hated doing them.”
“No problem, Harry should be here, shouldn’t he?”
“Well, he’s... called in.”
“Again?” You whine as you face her.
“Are you really surprised?” She scoffs.
“No one else to cover? Not even Louisa?”
“Nah, she’s on holiday still.”
You huff, “fine. Not much of a choose then, is it?”
🫖
The tea room is as close to raucous as you’ve ever heard it. You have your back to the rest of the shop as you balance the stacked serving trays with an array of sponge cake, fruit, and biscuits. It’s the typical assortment for a tea party booking.
You’ve already served the tea and the sandwiches, and dessert is the last bit, along with any further pots needed to be steeped throughout. With a partner, it isn’t hard to keep up, but alone, it’s rather overwhelming. Jenna does her best to assist but there aren’t many lulls around lunch time.
Beyond that, the tourists are chatty. You could hardly get away to fetch each course as they wanted to chat about the culture and your suggestions of what they should do next. It’s nice that they’re friendly but still stressful.
You put the trays on the cart and roll it around the counter. As you do, you nearly skid to a halt. In the rush, you hadn’t noticed him. Your eyes meet Raymond’s as he watches you. Intent, intense. You give an apologetic smile and nod in acknowledgement. Jenna wanted to deal with the main room, she’ll have to wipe down his table and do her best.
You roll behind the wall and into the Marigold room. You present the tray and grab it by the ring at the top, lifting it onto the centre of the table. You roll around to gather the empty plates and cups, taking two pots for refill.
You come back out and see Raymond standing, just as he was. He sees you too. Watching, hands folded, knuckles white, jaw set. He’s usually patient but you don’t know how long he’s been waiting.
You roll behind the counter and sigh, clearing off the cart as Jenna steams a tea latte.
“Can you wipe Raymond’s table?” You ask.
“Who?” She furrows her brow.
You glance over your shoulder toward the man in question and she follows. She rolls her eyes, “I tried, I wiped the the table. He didn’t sit.”
“Hm, well... did you wash your hands first?”
“Christ Almighty, what is he a child?”
“Jen, he’s just... you know, my mom’s the same. He can’t help it.”
“You can deal with him. I won’t be arsed,” she sniffs, “he was rude and you know I don’t got time for those ones.”
“Jenna, I’m kinda up to my eyes,” you dump the used bags from a pot. “I know he can be prickly but just wash your hands and redo the table.”
“Ugh, fine,” she sneers, “but you owe me.”
“Let’s call it even,” you retort as you pour boiling water into the pots mouth.
She shakes her head and huffs, “guess it is.”
🫖
It’s nearly three in the afternoon. It’s quiet. Harry’s on his phone instead of doing the cups and your wiping the empty tables to keep yourself moving. The door opens and you glance over to make sure Harry’s alert. He’s not.
Doesn’t matter. It’s him. Raymond. You stand and clutch the cloth tight in your hand as you greet him.
“Be right with you, Raymond,” you assure him.
He barely looks at you as he goes to wait next to his table. You go behind the counter and mutter under your breath in Harry’s direction, “...dirty cups.” You wash your hands and make sure to clink some of the empty porcelain in an effort to draw your coworker’s attention. He’s still entranced by his phone.
You take the disinfectant wipes and go back out. You approach Raymond as he checks his watch.
“How are you today?” You ask.
He grumbles and shrugs, “fine.”
“English Breakfast, black,” you declares as you finish wiping up, “usual.”
“So you remember,” he challenges as he steps close, closer than ever, before sidling around to sit.
“Of course, I always do,” you smile.
“And last time?”
“Last time...”
“Twice.”
You’re confused. What is he talking about?
“I came on Tuesday and you weren’t here. Then on Thursday, you didn’t even say hello.”
“Oh, well, I’m sorry, Raymond, it was a busy day. Tuesday, I had a personal emergency so I didn’t even know you’d been in--”
“I’ll have my tea now,” he interjects tersely.
“Right, tea,” you confirm and spin around.
“Crooked strings,” he remarks dully, “again.”
#raymond smith#dark raymond smith#raymond smith x reader#dark!raymond smith#drabble#series#to a tea#sweet and spicy#the gentlemen#au
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project: make you love me (jyh) | twelve.
♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.
—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 4.3k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa, a cute christmas hangout with yunho, yeosang and friends!, little acts of affection, soft kisses, making out, dry humping, neck kisses, cute lil teasing moments, progression!! 😚
—on rotation: snow flower - v & peakboy
—a/n: hi everyone! sorry for the delay, my updating schedule is outta wack rn 😭 i've been on vacay from work but i've been trying to take this time to rest so i haven't been writing as much. thanks for waiting for the new update! as promised, i also released san's one shot 🖤 you can find it here if you missed it!
"Oh my god, it's so cold!" Chaeryong squeals and squeezes your arm as the two of you find a good spot in front of the tree near the main entrance into campus. Tonight was the campus tree lighting, so tons of students and residents in the surrounding neighborhood came to get into the holiday spirit. "Okay, this is perfect! Come!" She gestures for Soobin and Seungmin to hurry.
"Who else is coming?" Soobin asks, sipping on the coffee he's been babysitting for an hour now.
"Hyunjin, Yeonjun, Minnie, Jongho—" Chaeryong puckers her lips to the side. "Everyone, basically." She chuckles.
"Is Yunho coming?" Your eyes quickly dart to Seungmin as he bites on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smirking. But, it's too fucking late cause now, the asshole has you blushing just by mentioning his name. You knew Yunho was coming, but you couldn't help but be nervous every minute you hadn't seen him.
"Hm, I think your answer is right there." Chaery subtly points to a wild Yunho standing in the crowd, speaking to Mingi before his eyes start to scan the place. His eyes meet yours and a soft smile grows on the corners of his lips. He bids farewell to his friend before walking over, your smile slowly growing as he gets closer. "Wow, he looks really good." Chaery says in your ear and giggles.
"Yeah, he does." You eye him in his black coat, white longsleeve, black jeans, black boots and a black and white scarf messily sitting around his neck. "Hey." You smile at him once he's finally in front of you. "You made it!"
"Mhm. And I bring hot cocoa." He hands over one of the cups in his hand and you scrunch your nose.
"Thank you."
"Of course." He looks at Chaery, Seungmin and Soobin. "Hey, sorry. If I had more hands, I would've brought more."
"Nonsense, Yuyu. I appreciate the thought!" He chuckles when she calls him that nickname he can't really stand, but he excuses it for Chaery anyway. "I'll make these guys useful." She turns to Soobin and Seungmin. "Come with me to get some hot cocoa please."
"I forgot my wallet." Seungmin lies, though he's only teasing and he'll buy her hot chocolate if she really wants him to.
"You liar, you have your card right there." Chaery points at his card on the back of his phone. "After all the things I've done for you.." She continues to go on as she drags Seungmin to the hot chocolate booth, leaving you, Soobin and Yunho in your spots.
"You know that place in town just opened, right?" Soobin sips on his drink.
"The christmas village with the ice skating rink?" He nods.
"Yup. We should go afterwards. The later we wait, the busier it might get." He looks at Yunho. "Yunho, you should come along with us!" Yunho gives him a smile and nods.
"Sure, I'm down." Sooner or later, the rest of your friends arrive, saying their hello's to both you and Yunho before squishing into the tight spot near the tree. But, because of the tight space, you find yourself now in front of Yunho while he stands closely behind you— chest barely ghosting your back. "You okay?"
"Mhm." You slightly turn over your shoulder to look at him and give him a reassuring nod. A few people are rushing over to the front, causing you to stumble to the side when they force their way through you and your group.
"Can you guys relax? Damn." Jongho says out loud, rolling his eyes. "It's a tree lighting, not a fucking mosh pit." Yeonjun laughs loudly, trying to calm him down.
"Jeez." Yunho puts his hand out to protect you from the rest squeezing their way through. "Come here, stay close to me." You feel his arm wrap around your waist, gently ushering you to the side and out of harm's way.
"Thank you." You lean into his touch, hoping he doesn't release the hold he has on you right now. Even though the both of you have gotten rather cozy over time, you still find yourself shy around Yunho because you like him.
A lot.
And you didn't want to rush anything, especially since you and Yunho haven't necessarily moved into a more 'serious' territory. Not that lots of time has passed, but part of you was starting to feel a bit scared and conflicted— wondering why Yunho hasn't taken you out on a date yet, or why things haven’t progressed much in general.
Little do you know that he's already been planning this for awhile, hoping to ask you on an official date tonight.
Yunho smiles to himself because he can already pick up on the little things you do, the little ways you ask for affection. He tightens his hold around you, giving you a small kiss on the back of your head before playfully resting his chin on top.
"Are you warm?"
"Kinda?" Yunho squints with a small smirk in his face.
"Lying to me?"
"Never." You pout and he laughs, handing you his cup.
"Please hold." You take his cup and watch him remove his scarf. He wraps it around your neck, enough that it engulfs you and instantly provides the heat you were looking for. His scarf smells exactly like him— hints of detergent with vanilla and musk. "Better?"
"Yes." He smiles at you in pure adoration before grabbing his cup and stepping back, resuming his hold on you from behind. "Yunho?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you actually wanna go later?"
"Yeah, why not? It'll be fun."
"I'm just making sure." He chuckles.
"Don't worry about me." He kisses you on the temple just as Chaery and Seungmin find you two in the crowd.
"Lovebirds! What happened? Why is Jongho making that face?" Chaery furrows her brows at the group before sipping on her cocoa.
"Some people were rushing to the front." Chaery subtly eyes at the way Yunho is holding your waist, your fingers loosely laced with his.
"Aw, and Yuyu kept you safe!" You flash her a look as she stands nearby with Seungmin, Yunho giggling to himself.
"Hey." Suddenly, Yeosang pops up next to Seungmin and Chaery, his hands dug deep into his racer jacket.
"Was not expecting you to be here." Yunho laughs a bit, grabbing your cup to throw it away in the nearby trash can with his.
"I was already on campus so I figured I'd come." He looks at you and your friends, giving you all a small smile. "You guys look cozy."
"Trying to be." Chaery snuggles into her own scarf, while Seungmin dips into the neck of his jacket. "Nice to see you out though, Kang Yeosang! You should stay with us." She gently tugs on his jacket to bring him closer to the group.
"Can you let him decide on his own, please?" Seungmin looks at her, softly grabbing at her elbow to stop her from tugging on Yeosang's jacket.
"What! His roomie is here too. He's not entirely alone." Yeosang laughs and stands next to you and Yunho, also eyeing the way Yunho now has his arms around you to keep you close.
"Cute." Yeosang says, clearing his throat shortly afterwards. "What time did you get here?"
"Not too long ago." Yunho looks at his roommate. "I had to go home and change really quickly."
"Change, hm?"
"Too cold." Yunho shivers a bit, holding you close to him as you continue to talk to your friends.
"Yeah, he would!" Yunho and Yeosang overhear you say before you swing back to look at them. "Yeosang, you'd go with us to Santa's Wonderland, right?" Yeosang points at himself and you nod.
"I mean, I wouldn't just go there myself—"
"Then come along with us! We're going right after the lighting ceremony." You smile. "It'll be fun! Yunho is going, too!" Yunho turns to him and nods in agreement.
"You should, it'll be cool. Holiday season only comes once a year." Yunho shrugs.
"Uh, sure? I'll come. But, what is Santa's Wonderland?"
"It's super nice. They have a long light maze that's just made up of a ton of Christmas lights hanging everywhere. Then, there's the ice skating trail, plus there is a part called The Village where you can buy food or drinks." Soobin pauses. "Plus, you can listen to people sing or wait for their turn to talk to Santa. It gets you in the spirit." Soobin finishes his statement before you let out a small giggle.
"Sounds dope. I'll go." You release the breath you've been holding while waiting for Yeosang's response. You're glad he agreed to go, especially being that Yunho is the only person he knows well. You want to get to know Yeosang better, especially since you find yourself spending more and more time at the apartment. You want to be respectful of his space, too.
Just as everyone continues to talk about Santa's Wonderland, the university's president comes near the tree with a mic in hand— beginning the ceremony with his opening remarks. Shortly afterwards, a choir sings a few christmas carols before the president comes back to countdown the tree lighting. Yunho continues to hold you close, your hands resting on his arms as you both subtly sway to the christmas songs now playing on the speakers. The tree is lit beautifully in front of you, beautiful white and gold ornaments lining the branches. Yunho peers over, smiling to himself when he sees the light in your eyes, the glow bouncing off of your skin.
"It's so pretty." You mumble.
"You are." He says against your temple before planting another soft kiss there. You smile to yourself as your attention now shifts to the crowd, your friends happily swaying along to the music. Then, your eyes land on a familiar face across from you— your smile fading when they meet yours.
"Okay, please don't ruin our nice evening because of them." San taps Seonghwa on the chest when he realizes his bestfriend is still fixed on you and Yunho.
"Why can't you just let them be, Hwa? What's the purpose—" Mingi says through his teeth.
"Why, cause that's your friend?" Seonghwa looks at Mingi. "Why don't you go over there then?" Mingi sucks on his teeth.
"I'm just saying, don't you get tired? Let the girl be happy if she's happy."
"It's a phase."
"I don't think so." San mumbles under his breath, tired of seeing Seonghwa act this way when he should've gotten his shit together earlier. But he stays quiet; what can he do at this point? It's not like Seonghwa listens to any of them.
"Hwa." Hyeri pops out of the blue, her hand snaking around his arm.
"Hey."
"I was looking for you, you didn't answer my text so I wasn't sure if you were still coming." San and Mingi shoot each other a look when she comfortably stands next to him and holds onto his arm— you, now suddenly an afterthought with Hyeri around.
But, to each their own.
You truly hope Hwa moves on because you're happy.
"Should we get going? There's a couple of us that have cars."
"I drove so I can take a few people too." Yeosang says with his hands dug into his pockets.
"Same." Yunho adds.
"The lovebirds should be alone in the car." Seungmin says, laughing when Chaery pinches his arm. "It's the only privacy they'll get right now!"
"Alright, alright." Hyunjin finishes helping sort people into different cars. "Let's go!"
And so with that, the group splits between a few cars, including Yeosang's. As Seungmin promises, you are riding solo in Yunho's car; the heat blasting as soon as he drives off and follows Soobin's car.
The drive is about 15 minutes back north, nestled right by an outdoor shopping plaza. Your group circles the lot a few times before you all find parking in different areas, only meeting up at the entrance once you're all out of the cars. You happily hold Yunho's hand heading into Santa's Wonderland, the christmas lights hung everywhere shining nicely against the night sky. Yunho playfully twirls you around as you walk under the lit tunnel, gently nudging you to the center so he can take a few pictures of you. After he takes your pictures, the girls grab you and rush over to another portion of the maze, making the guys snap more pictures before it switches off.
"Pretty girl, look. Mind if I take you there?" Yunho comes from behind you and says softly in your ear. He points up at the mistletoe hanging above one of the archways you're approaching.
"Not at all." You smile, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks when he leads you right underneath— cupping your cheeks to place a soft, feathery kiss against your lips.
"I wanted to ask you something." Yunho caresses the surface of your cheek with his thumb.
"Hm?" You hum, head tilted to the side as you wait patiently for his next response.
"I.. was wondering if I could take you out, o-on a date? I know it's been some time, but I've been trying to plan the perfect date and all. I-I was hoping I could take you back home so we could do a few things there before seeing my mom and aunt." You blush and nod.
"I'd like that, Yunho."
"Nice." He says, making you laugh at how shy he's getting. At this moment, he feels everything inside ignite. He feels unstoppable, he feels like he's on top of the world;
Jeong Yunho is in love with you.
So, so genuinely in love with you.
"God, they're so cute." Chaery squeals as the group continues on, leaving you two to follow behind.
"It's nice to see Y/N genuinely happy. She really deserves it." Soobin digs into his hot fudge sundae.
"Yunho, too." Yeosang chimes in, drinking a white mocha. "He's been happier since they started.. I don't know what this is? Dating, I guess? They're like, official but not?"
"Huh, I guess you're right." Jongho adds. "Have they gone on a date yet?"
"Not that I know of."
"I think he's been planning it. He's asked for my opinion on a few random things, can't help but feel like they're part of his plan." Yeosang responds. "He's a really good guy. Whatever it is, I'm sure Y/N will really like it."
"I agree." Chaery giggles.
After taking more pictures and enjoying the rest of the light maze, the group finds their way to the ice skating trail. Everyone takes their time getting through the trail, your friends spread out at all different points. Yunho is surprisingly good at ice skating. You're not necessarily terrible, but you're not great either. You would rather take your time than try and breeze through the entire thing, just out of comfortability. He patiently holds your hand through the entire path, laughing loudly from time to time at the few instances you almost fall over.
Lastly, the group finally heads towards the village area to find snacks to munch on. There are a few local small businesses selling souvenirs and christmas gifts that you buy from along the way before finding yourself in front of a churro stand with Yunho. You and your friends take your snacks over to the live music, singing along and enjoying the music to wrap the night up.
It was a good time, and you loved that Yunho and Yeosang got along well with your friends. You wouldn't have imagined a better time with everyone, and you're really glad Soobin brought up the spontaneous idea.
Just an hour before closing, the crew heads home— with you, Yeosang and Yunho making your way back to their apartment, Chaery almost playfully dragging you back until Yunho promises her that he'll walk you back home the following morning and won't interrupt your time with her for the upcoming week. She giggles and waves you off, dragging Soobin and Seungmin back to your place.
Yeosang swings the door open to the apartment, and you immediately kick your shoes off to the side. The apartment is warm, causing you to shake off the remaining cold from your bones.
"What are you about to do? Hop on?" Yunho asks, making Yeo laugh.
"For a bit. I'm kinda lazy, ice skating took everything out of me." You giggle and nod in agreement.
"Yeah, I agree."
"Today was cool, though. Thanks for inviting me." Yeosang smiles at you and Yunho before slowly making his way to his room. You unwrap Yunho's scarf from around your neck and fold it neatly. Yunho grabs two water bottles before nodding towards his room, heading in first as you follow behind.
"Tired?" Yunho asks as he tosses his keys and wallet onto his dresser.
"Extremely." You look at him. "Is it okay if I grab a shirt and wash up?"
"Go for it." You quietly grab a longsleeve shirt from his pile, waddling into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Once you've deemed the hallway clear of Yeosang, you spring back into Yunho's room in his shirt; him eyeing your cute ass in his clothes.
He honestly will never get enough.
"Comfortable?" You plop onto his bed and start catching up to texts and your social media feed.
"Mhm."
"Did I ever mention how cute you look in my clothes?" Yunho scratches at his temple as he approaches his closet to grab his pajamas to change into.
"No." You giggle, making him turn to face you— leaning onto the edge of the bed to give you a quick kiss on the lips.
"You look really cute in my clothes." He smiles against your lips before pulling back and heading to the bathroom. After a good couple of minutes, Yunho is back in the room and settles on his game chair. He pops his computer on, saying he'll probably play for a bit and that you're welcome to use his laptop for anything.
But, an hour quickly passes and Yunho is still immersed in his game. Which, you find endearing and cute. You love seeing him comfortable around you, just as you are with him. But after today and how sweet he was being, you just want Yunho. You want him to yourself, now, to be in his hold and to kiss him until you both get worn out.
You want him.
You find yourself straddling his lap again, your clothed core already feeling incredibly needy when you feel the bulge beneath you.
"What happened to being extremely tired?" Yunho teases as his eyes roam up your body. His hands are at your sides and underneath the shirt, radiating warmth against your skin.
"What happened to playing for a bit?" You tease back, hands at the nape of his neck.
"Sorry, princess." The petname sends shivers down your spine. "I was gonna wrap it up soon."
"Were you?" You giggle.
"I was. But, I can just do that later. What can I do for you right now?" He smirks, finger tracing a soft circle against your side; soft eyes now glued onto yours.
"I just want your company."
"Mm." He hums. "You have my company."
"Nah uh." You pout. "You're over here smashing the fuck out of your keyboard."
"Was not." He laughs. "Tell me." He says close to a whisper, lips only inches away from yours. "What do you really want?"
"A kiss."
"Just a kiss?" You shake your head just as his lips ghost yours.
"More than just a kiss."
"I think I can help with that." He responds. It's not long before he's locking his lips with yours, the first initial kiss being deep, long; connected until the both of you pull back for a breath. But, Yunho continues to take initiative— dipping in for another, more heated kiss. Your hand gently tugs on his hair, the kiss intensifying by the minute. Yunho slips his tongue in, his grip becoming tighter on your hips when he feels you shift in your position. He feels you subtly roll against him and it instantly drives him insane, sending the blood straight to his dick.
"Need you, Yunho."
"Hold onto me." He quickly says in between kisses. Suddenly, he swoops you up in one motion, careful not to break the kiss as he sits on the edge of the bed— giving you more space to rock against him and keep him close. The kiss is becoming sloppier, while you're no longer able to control yourself as you grind against Yunho's bulge. He lets out a small groan, his large hands coming to cup your ass to egg you to move more. "Was this what you wanted all along?" He asks as you nibble at his jaw before leaving a trail of kisses down his neck, sucking at the surface near the base.
"Yes." You breathe out, clit feeling the friction against the fabric of your panties, his clothed cock. You want Yunho so bad, you don't even realize how much you're rolling your hips against him, pace steady but enough to drive the both of you crazy.
"Fuck, feels too good." Yunho breathily says against your lips before gently biting onto your bottom lip and pulling back. "Baby—" He lets out another breath. "When that time comes—" He says against your neck before gently sucking on the surface; slowly, delicately, pausing in between his moves. "I'll make sure to make you feel good." He kisses your neck again. "I'll show you how much I adore you." Again. "Appreciate you." And again. "Want you to feel how special you are."
"Yunho—" His name comes out in a whimper, still grinding against him as you chase your high. Your lips fall back onto his for another sloppy, wet kiss; tongues fighting for dominance while Yunho tightens the grip on your hips. "Oh fuck—" You whine.
"Close, hm?" He gently grabs your chin, lips back against your ear before he nibbles onto your earlobe. "Wanna let go for me, pretty girl?" His voice is husky, fingers digging deep into your side. The petname he murmurs while he sits underneath you is enough to tip you over the edge, face contorting in pleasure when you feel your release completely take over. And Yunho is glad, because one, he can see how pretty you look when you reach your peak— trying your hardest to keep some control over your body as you ride out your high.
And two, Yunho felt like he was gonna fucking pop any second. Watching you tips him over the edge, allowing him to release all of the pent-up pleasure he had been harboring.
Yunho calls for your name before letting out another soft moan, his body slightly twitching against yours when he reaches his climax. You don't really stop moving until Yunho has finished, head shyly coming up from his neck to meet his eyes. Yunho thinks you're the most beautiful thing he's laid his eyes on, especially now with the post-pleasure glow. He can't wait to see what you look like when he finally gets to feel you, all of you, completely.
"You okay?" Yunho chuckles as he brushes the hair away from your face and gives you a tiny peck on the lips.
"Mhm." You shyly respond and he can't help but laugh a little more.
"So cute." He smiles at you before kissing your forehead. "I gotta go to the bathroom again." He taps your hips. "Kinda made a mess." You giggle and hop off his lap, plopping under the covers while he grabs a new set of boxers and sweats. You hear him quickly turn the shower on before he's out in the next 10 minutes, smelling fresh of his body wash. He tosses his clothes off into the hamper, shutting off his computer before slipping into the bed next to you.
"Do you still wanna watch that movie?" Yunho snorts.
"I'm okay. But, are you? You'll fall asleep."
"I can stay up!" You pout as you look up at him from his chest.
"Okay, cutiepie. If you say so." He pulls up his laptop to bring up Netflix.
"Yunho, what if your mom and aunt don't like me?"
"What?" He looks at you. "They will. I know they will. How could they not?"
"I don't know, I'm just nervous to meet them. I want to make a good impression, of course. I want them to like me and have no worries about me, or.. us?" Yunho gives you a tiny smile.
"They won't. I promise, okay? They'll love you." He navigates the movie. "Besides, they already know about you and have probably looked you up on Facebook." You shoot up from your position and look at him with a brow cocked up.
"What do you mean they looked me up on Facebook— you gave them my Facebook?!"
"No!" Yunho smiles. "More like.. I told my mom your name and she took the initiative to look you up. I'm sure she showed it to my aunt by now."
"Yunho." You whine. "My picture on there is so old!"
"So?! I'm sure you still look beautiful as ever." He grabs your hand and pulls you back down. "Y/N, don't worry about it. I swear they'll love you, okay? Old Facebook photo or not."
"Okay, okay." He kisses your forehead.
"Okay." He repeats after you.
"Where are you taking me for our date?"
"Um, don't worry about that either." Yunho laughs. "Don't try and be slick. You won't get it out of me." You pout again and he shakes his head. "Nope. Here, the movie is playing."
"Fine." You snuggle against him, eyes glued onto the screen as the movie starts.
Sooner or later, Yunho doesn't hear you reacting anymore, and it's obvious that you indeed fell asleep. He tilts his to get his confirmation, seeing your eyes shut and your breathing at a resting rate. He chuckles to himself before gently shutting off his laptop and setting it aside, adjusting his position to engulf you in his arms.
"The movie." You sleepily mumble.
"Too tired. Let's sleep. Goodnight, babygirl." You don't respond. Yunho smiles and kisses your head before shutting his eyes— going to bed the happiest he's been in awhile.
♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @mingigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion
#yunho fanfic#yunho series#jeong yunho series#jeong yunho fanfic#ateez series#ateez x reader#ateez#yunho#jeong yunho#yunho x reader#jeong yunho x reader#ateez imagines#kpop imagines#yunho smut#yunho fluff#yunho angst#jeong yunho smut#jeong yunho fluff#jeong yunho angst#hwaslayer: project make you love me
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Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Short Mission 13... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
This seems to be the first time that we've ever had 2 Short Missions released one after the other (I mean, after the BOMBSHELL that was dropped in Mission 96, it's no wonder why Endo is taking his time to give us Mission 97...!! 😁) But just because it's another Short Mission (and a Special Illustration), doesn't mean we don't have anything to talk about!! So let's get into it, shall we...? 😉
First up, let's talk about the Special Illustration...:
I LOVE IT SO MUCH!😍
Anya looks so adorable it and the cherry blossom scenery is STUNNING!! 😆 This is definitely a new favorite of mine!! 😁
Now on to the Short Mission, which was all about Bond...!! 😄
The family left for the day, leaving poor Bond alone and bored. But, that didn't stop him from having an eventful day...! First, a delivery man came by...:
And since no one answered the door, the delivery man left, which means Bond did his "job" and starts looking for some food, when:
HE BREAKS A GLASS AND GOES INTO ANYA TO ESCAPE YOR'S POSSIBLE WRATH!! 😂 But while he's hiding in Anya's room, THIS HAPPENS:
I was honestly confused by how Bond could hear Agent Penguinman's thoughts, but it made laugh, so...!! 😅
It seems like Bond still feels bad about attacking Agent Penguinman all the way back in Short Mission 3, so he brings the stuff animal the fish that the Forgers were gonna have for dinner as an apology...! Then, Bond thinks about his past:
This image breaks my heart so much... The people who experimented on Bond and those other dogs are awful human beings and hope that they'll eventually get what's coming to them...
Then right after that memory, Bond does this to Agent Penguinman...:
Then when the Forgers return home, Yor wonders what to the fish that was in the fridge as we cut to seeing Bond sleeping next to Agent Penguinman with the fish in front of Anya's door...! 💗
And that was Short Mission 13, a nice and sweet little chapter...! 🤗 Seeing a little more of Bond's past really hurts my soul, none of those animals deserved to suffer like that... People who hurt animals and children are the lowest of the low, so I hope that whoever was involved with those experiments is stopped completely, but only time will tell...
Also, I didn't get to say this the last time because I forgot to mention it, but...
🎊 HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY SPY × FAMILY!! 🎉👏😆
I can't wait to see what Endo has in store for us next in future...!! 😁
Lastly, this Thursday, two days after my birthday...
ME AND MY FAMILY ARE GOING TO SEE SPY × FAMILY: CODE: WHITE!! 👏😆👏😆👏
So look out for my review of it...!! 😁👍
Anyway, that's all I gotta say!! So, until the next Mission... Take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! LATER!! 👋😊
#spy x family#sxf#spyxfamily#spy x family manga#sxf manga#spyxfamily manga#spy x family spoilers#sxf spoilers#spyxfamily spoilers#manga spoilers#Short Mission 13#bond forger#loid forger#yor forger#anya forger#What a nice little chapter before my birthday...!! 🤗#I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M FINALLY GONNA SEE S×F MOVIE!! 👏😆👏😆👏😆
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IOTA Reviews: Pretension
Oh joy, another Felix episode. Because the last one was just so good, wasn't it?
Let's get into the nineteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Pretension
We start off with Kagami and Adrien heading to school, with the former making plans with Marinette to spend a little time together, all while Argos stalks them. We then cut to Gabriel, who's attempting to heal his Cataclysm wound with a machine that drains the energy from his imprisoned Kwamis. It fails because... uh... uhhhh... it just doesn't?
Kaalki: I told you. No magic can heal this wound.
Barkk: A Cat Noir Cataclysm can't be healed!
Yeah, they just say nothing can heal the wound, and don't even mention the fact that we've already seen the Ladybug Miraculous heal Adren when he was wounded by his own Cataclysm in “Miraculer”. And before you say it was a weaker version of the attack, check out what Astruc said a few years ago when the subject was brought up.
Whether you want to take this as fact or not since it wasn't explained in the show itself, the point is that we've seen Ladybug heal someone who was wounded by Cataclysm before. Then again, considering the recent reveal, that episode only opens up another can of worms.
Back at school, Marinette talks with Adrien and Kagami about how Gabriel only sees her as some crazy fan, though she doesn't do a lot to help her case.
Tomoe arrives, and just like she's done this whole season, is only here to provide exposition while nagging Gabriel to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous already. Gabriel comes up with a plan involving a gadget Felix accidentally dropped at the end of the last season. If you forgot, I understand, since it's a pretty weird thing to call back to.
Marinette: He feels worried and I would be too if I were him. He thinks I'm one of those fans who follows you everywhere, showers you with hand-knitted gifts and knows every single one of your middle name days.
Kagami: Isn't that what you used to do, Marinette?
Marinette: Yes... except no! I mean, yes, but I was doing it out of love and, besides, I've changed a lot.
Kagami: You are correct.
Marinette: Really? You think I've changed a lot?
Kagami: No. Well, not that much.
I love when even the show points out how little character development there is. Makes my job a lot easier.
Adrien goes with Marinette to talk to Gabriel about their relationship. We get a pretty somewhat chilling moment where Gabriel's kind father facade briefly fades as he orders Adrien to go to his room so he and Marinette can talk, all while he still puts on a welcoming image. After Plagg reminds Adrien that all Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, Gabriel then lectures Marinette about why he doesn't want her to see Adrien.
Gabriel: I don't think you understand, child, so let me put things differently. Life is like fashion. You think you have a choice, but all you have is the illusion of choice. And I decide what choices are given to you.
Marinette: You're wrong! (Shows Gabriel her sketchbook with her designs) Fashion is about listening to people, it's about understanding who they are, what excites them and creating the clothes that will help them express their inner world. Help them connect with others and make their dreams come true.
Gabriel: (Laughs and looks over Marinette's sketchbook) No, that's not fashion. That's making dresses for your dolls. Fashion is a product, a marketing strategy, an industry that relies on uninterrupted trend renewal that forces you to either throw away everything you have and buy more or, worse, to be out of fashion.
That bastard! I can't believe Gabriel wants to make an honest living by using market research data to his advantage! What a piece of scum...
I joke, but the rest of Gabriel's little rant is even worse, as he acts as if he decides what people like and don't like, even though he just mentioned the importance of keeping up with current trends. Seriously, this dude's talking as if the entire world revolves around his brand.
Gabriel: Thanks to the clothes I create, the celebrities who wear them, the advertisements I design and the Alliance rings that broadcast them, I create an idyllic vision. A perfection that everyone aspires to achieve, while keeping it just out of their grasp. You finally understand the difference, don't you? You listen to people's desires and create what they want. Somehow, people make you. Whereas I create people's desires. They buy what I decide to buy. They think what I want them to think. I'm the one who makes people. You think you love Adrien, but you're just under the spell of this world I've created. A world where Adrien is the star, shining high above. A world where you're just part of the crowd below looking up at him.
Let's see... a complete narcissist with an obsession with controlling others, puts on a facade to make himself look more approachable, uses his influence to sell something to the masses that are part of his greater operation, and acts as if his products are necessary for society to function when they're more of a luxury than anything else? Where have I seen this before?
Marinette goes against Gabriel's wishes and tells Adrien she loves him before rightfully telling him to piss off... through a pancake metaphor, for some reason.
Marinette: You know what the problem is with your pancakes? Way too much flour, not enough butter. You're using an old, completely outdated recipe. No one likes them like that anymore. And that's the good thing about being a baker's daughter. I don't even need to try them to know that they're tasteless.
You know, I could make so many jokes about the state of the show with this little speech, but I feel like it'd be too easy.
Meanwhile, Kagami tries to tell her mother that she's not interested in Adrien anymore, but we get the same crap Tomoe has been saying ever since Season 3. “You must follow our family legacy, Kagami!”, “Stop letting your emotions control you, Kagami!”, “I'm only blind for a cheap visual metaphor, Kagami!”, yadda, yadda, yadda. During this, Argos overhears this and outright kidnaps Kagami. Rather than call the police to report a kidnapping, Tomoe calls Gabriel, who had transformed into Monarch offscreen, and tells him to akumatize him (even though she's still carrying her useless Magical Charm), which he does, turning her into Matagi Gozen.
Matagi Gozen is basically Ikari Gozen, only instead of a centaur, she now rides a robot dog for some reason and has a bow and arrow now. Her powers are basically related to her size and riding a robot dog, mostly so we can focus on her Miraculous powers for the day. Even though Tomoe was seen wearing six Alliance rings before she called Gabriel, she only gets three powers, the Bee Miraculous' Venom, the Rooster Miraculous' Sublimation (which she uses to give herself an enhanced sense of smell), and the Mouse Miraculous' Multitude. It's really just the same setup we got in “Multiplication” with a few changes, and it's nothing special. Although, it's too bad that Monarch doesn't have the Dog Miraculous, as that would have really gone well with her powers.
As the four Matagi Gozen clones go on the hunt, Argos takes Kagami to the Eiffel Tower to hide out, where we get—wait, it's, it's, BY GOD, IT'S KAGAMI WITH A WOODEN CHAIR!
Argos transforms back into Felix, and unintentionally throws Matagi Gozen off the trail since she was tracking him through one of the feathers on his fan. It turns out that after that single conversation they shared last episode, Felix is suddenly developing feelings for Kagami, and the whole reason he kidnapped her, aside from “protecting her from her mother”, is to get to talk to her again.
Felix: We have so much in common, and yet, you're also so different. I've never met someone like you.
Kagami: We don't even know each other!
Felix: I know you. I've been following you non-stop.
Kagami: Even better! You follow me, you spy on me and now you've kidnapped me to get to know me?!
Felix: Uh... yes?
Kagami: You are utterly incompetent at social relations.
See? Felix isn't a sociopath who just tried to wipe out all of humanity last episode! He just needs to make friends, that's all.
Yeah, in case you can't tell, it seems like the show is still trying to course correct the characterization of Felix. Rather than the overconfident and manipulative wild card he was for his last five appearances, the episode is now trying to make Felix out to be a secretly awkward person with noble goals. Afterall, he saved Kagami, so by that logic, he has to be a good guy. Yeah, he technically stalked her like a creep, but it ended up being good in the end, didn't it?
After Marinette and Adrien transform into Ladybug and Cat Noir respectively, the Matagi Gozen clones start to track Felix through the scent of the aforementioned gadget. Right as Matagi Gozen finds Felix, Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, giving Felix the chance to transform into Argos and escape with Kagami again.
Matagi Gozen: This is what heroes do? Not only did you help that monster escape, but now you're going to fight me? A mother trying to save her daughter?
Cat Noir: Hey, my lady. When you think about it, they're not wrong. We all want the same thing. If we let them save Kagami, we could seize the opportunity to get Felix's Miraculous back.
Ladybug: Too risky. They're under Monarch's influence.
Yeah, but you can't even try to negotiate a temporary alliance between Matagi Gozen? Yes, we know that she's working for Monarch, but the heroes don't know that. All we get is Ladybug asking Matagi Gozen to reject the Megakuma, and she goes back to fighting them. How interesting would it have been for Ladybug and Cat Noir to make an uneasy alliance with someone they don't know is working for Monarch?
After Cat Noir gets ignored during one of the few times he makes a decent point, he escapes to the sewer and detransforms, Matagi Gozen losing their scent trail. Matagi Gozen goes back to looking for Kagami, and decides to shoot her with some arrows tipped with Venom. Argos defends Kagami, and breaks up his fan to throw the pieces around and create multiple fake scent trails to throw off Matagi Gozen before detransforming. How Argos even came came up with this plan when I don't think he figured out Matagi Gozen could smell really good is anyone's guess.
As Kagami and Felix keep running away, Kagami asks the question I'm sure you've all been thinking.
Kagami: I don't understand. You have the Miraculous of the peacock, why don't you create a Sentimonster to get us out of here?
Felix: First of all, don't call them that.
Fine, “walking sin against nature” it is. Got anything else to say there, buddy? Maybe anything that isn't a half-assed speech meant to make the audience sympathize with you?
Felix: I refuse to create a being to manipulate them, control them, abuse them, and end up destroying them. When you bring a living being into this world, you have a responsibility towards them. Your duty is to protect them, love them, help them discover the true meaning of their existence. To deprive them of that... is monstrous.
Kagami: Are you talking about... yourself?
Felix: I'm talking about... us.
Come on dude! I said anything that isn't a half-assed speech meant to make the audience sympathize with you!
Okay, I've been putting this off long enough. Let's talk about Felix's ideology, his little speech, and, how it contradicts his previous appearances.
First off, for someone who refuses to create a Sentimonster to control and abuse, Felix had no trouble screwing around with Adrien in his first episode when his main goal was to get one of the rings from Gabriel. Hell, it makes even less sense why he'd keep that ring that we know can be used to control Adrien if his plan ultimately amounted to trading it away along with the fifteen Miraculous in Ladybug's possession.
Second, Felix literally created a Sentimonster to destroy humanity with just last episode, and he doesn't even mention that. Yeah, you can chalk it up to character development, but we don't even get a line about learning about the burden of ending a life you yourself created. It just feels like a way to make him seem more sympathetic after he went all “I'M THE GOD! I'M THE GOD!” last episode.
Third, and I'm just going to be honest about this, but why should I care about the life of a Sentimonster when the show has shown it doesn't care either? Ever since the end of Season 2, we've seen Sentimonsters be summoned and erased from existence left and right, and other than a single occasion (Ladybug), nobody has really brought up the fact that Sentimonsters are living beings too. Even putting that aside, most of the Sentimonsters we've seen have either been giant monsters, clones of other people, or mindless tools, none of which showed any desire to be alive other than to serve their purpose. It's only because Adrien, Felix, and now Kagami are revealed to be Sentimonsters that we should care about the ethics of summoning a Sentimonster in battle. Even in the last episode, Felix never brought up than Ladybug is essentially taking innocent lives whenever she de-evilizes an Amok.
And finally, the fact that this speech was used to set up a romance between Felix and Kagami, not because he saw a kindred spirit in her, but rather, because he believes that she's a Sentimonster too. You know that episode of South Park where Cartman tried to set up Token with a new girl, where the entire joke was that it was because Cartman believed that black people can only date other black people? This is basically that story with none of the irony. The episode seriously treats Felix taking an interest in Kagami specifically on the basis that she may be the same kind of artificial creation as him, as if he isn't capable of relating to anyone who also has to deal with abusive parents and isn't a Sentimonster. On a completely unrelated note, isn't it funny how out of the four rich kids with abusive or neglectful parents, Chloe is the only one who isn't a Sentimonster and is the least sympathetic?
Ladybug (having gotten a pair of scissors from activating her Lucky Charm offscreen) and Cat Noir try to stop Felix, but after a single speech from him, Kagami is now completely on his side for some reason.
Kagami: Felix is not your enemy! He's like me! He doesn't know how to express himself. Everyone is wrong about him! Including me.
Funny, I don't seem to remember you dooming all of Paris by giving over a dozen magical artifacts to a supervillain. Also, speaking from someone who struggles to socialize in real life, I can confirm that social awkwardness isn't really an excuse to kidnap someone. Just remember what happened in Misery.
Ladybug realizes that Felix and Kagami are vital to her Lucky Charm working, she decides to trust Felix. Felix then transforms into Argos and immediately escapes without contributing to the plan, while Kagami uses the scissors to cut the string of Matagi Gozen's bow after Ladybug and Cat Noir restrain the Akuma.
Ladybug then de-evilizes the Megakuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage caused by the fight, gives Tomoe yet another useless Magical Charm after the last useless one broke because it was completely useless, and Argos once got away without facing any consequences for his actions.
Afterwards, Kagami tries to stand up to Tomoe, but she orders her to hand over her ring containing her Amok—I mean, her ring that has absolutely no control over her, and is part of this thrilling mystery. Adrien also tries to stand up for Marinette, and Gabriel tells him to enjoy her time with Marinette... before saying he's moving to London next year. This is supposed to be a dick move, but with how often Adrien gets caught in the crossfire of Akuma attacks, with or without the mask, this is arguably the smartest thing Gabriel has done for the past five seasons. Adrien chooses not to tell Marinette about London, because I guess all that whining about hating secrets only mattered when someone else was withholding information from him.
The episode ends with Felix revealing that the ring Kagami gave her mother was a fake. Of course, this makes no sense because not only did we never see Felix steal the ring from Kagami, but Tomoe has a mental connection to Kagami, she should notice the ring is a fake. Also, you know how Kagami's arc so far has been a mixture of finding independence from her controlling mother while coming to terms with her breakup with Adrien? Get ready for all of that to be thrown out the window, because the writers are desperate to make him look good, Felix is now the one to save her from her mother and give her independence back, while also hinting at a relationship starting between the two. I'd say this episode fumbled the landing, but I haven't even gotten to the season finale yet.
This episode started out pretty poorly, and quickly went downhill afterwards. The idea of explaining why Gabriel's Cataclysm wound can't be healed was convoluted, Felix continues to be unlikable, Tomoe once again shows how terrible of an antagonist she is.
I'll admit, the chemistry between Marinette and Adrien was decent, but it's far too late to really establish a proper rivalry between her and Gabriel more than halfway through the fifth season, especially while discussing fashion when it's only been used to justify plots where she tries to make stuff for Adrien. The writers had plenty of time, yet rather than build up tension between the main hero and main villain, they decided we needed more episodes revolving around Chloe, Lila, and Felix.
Speaking of, Felix once again shows how poorly written he is. He was the one to instigate the conflict, it wasn't established if he even had a plan on what to do once he gets away with Kagami, and if anything, only made things worse because of his refusal to surrender, much less acknowledge his fault in this situation when the Akuma chasing after him is only as powerful as she is now because he gave his evil uncle multiple Miraculous to use for his Akumas. But no, he has to be the one to wreck Kagami's character arc and be the one to try and liberate her from Tomoe's influence because he's a good guy now! It says a lot when Cat Noir is the only one who still isn't trusting Felix at this point.
While it's nowhere near as bad as “Emotion”, this was still a really bad episode to follow up on.
THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS...TOMOE
While Felix came dangerously close to winning the award, he at least showed more restraint here, and was able to throw off both Matagi Gozen a few times. Tomoe, on the other hand, got nothing to show any real intelligence, and if anything, proved she was just as incompetent as Gabriel is. She chose to nag Gabriel while he was suffering from the effects of his fatal wound, decided to akumatize herself instead of even considering contacting the cops to stop a single kidnapping, while ironically drawing more attention to herself in her attempt to save Kagami and stop Felix, decided to try shooting her daughter instead of the one who abducted her, and didn't even realize the ring capable of controlling her daughter was replaced by a fake when she should obviously be able to sense something.
#immaturity of thomas astruc#iota#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug salt#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#cat noir#chat noir#felix graham de vanily#argos#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#hawk moth#monarch#kagami tsurugi#tomoe tsurugi
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Hasan Piker | Stream Appearance headcanons
I'm in so much pain rn it's not even funny, imma take some pain killer and sleep. Reblogs always welcomed. Request are open!
Partner streams with Hasan are very chaotic in general. However nothing would truely match the partner reveal twitch stream I imagine the stream would have “Secret special guest” or something in the title. I would start out as a normal stream, personal life, politics, and so on until it's about 2-3pm. The entire time He’d be staying that there is someone coming later, and they need to be on their best behavior . When talking about his personal life at the start of the stream he’d mention that his partner is staying over and swiftly moving on, not an uncommon thing for him to do, so nothing was really thought of.
When you show up, he introduces you by saying “Chat, introducing to you, for the first time on any platform, my partner.” Queue chat losing their collective mind, and starting to ask any and all questions they can think of. He’s incredibly watchful of chat during this time, and instantly banning anyone who sends a chat saying or implying something rude about you. This is also followed by the obligatory Joe Rogan video that he makes girls watch when they first appear on stream.
After the reveal stream I can imagine you becoming a recurring person, mostly tiny cameos. Like, every so often your hand will pop into frame to hand him something, water or food. It always causes him to stop what he’s in the middle of doing at that moment and thank you, he could be knee deep in a 10 minute stun lock and just have to hand him a water bottle and he’ll come to a full stop until you leave the room at which point he’ll pick his little rant back up.
I can also see stream bits that include you. Painting streams (more on that later), movie reviews, true crime, and other react andy things are not uncommon things for you to be on stream for. For example he would let you just rant about any movie you’ve watched, recently or not, for like thirty minutes. Like, yes girl, explain Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue to chat, they’ll love it.
Or he’ll get you to watch older reality TV shows, and videos that pertain to your interest. You know these J-Aubery mini-docs that he’ll watch, he’ll also get you to watch them. Anytime something comes up that you don’t understand, he’ll make sure to pause it so he can explain it to you until you do. If you are watching something and he doesn’t get it but you do, he does expect you to explain it. Sometimes he’ll have you explain things to him on stream just because he likes to show off how smart you are to chat.
Sometimes when you go to give Kaya some pats, you hover in the background. Mainly when you're interested in what he is watching/doing or when you’re trying to figure out just what he’s going off about, I can only imagine how confusing it must be to walk into the middle of him being stunlocked by some chatter.
He will absolutely make fun of how short you are, no matter your actual height, because man is built like a brick house and everyone is smaller than him.
I almost forgot about IRL streams. Please find a way to go on any and all IRL streams with him. Especially if it’s some kind of shopping stream. Take every chance you can to fix his fashion sense, it’ll never take but you should still try.
He’d also take you to Shitcamp and the Streamer Awards. I know they are not his live streams but he likes you being there. You’re not really a contestant or anything, but you take part in certain games and activities. Chat loves seeing you in the background, not really participating but still being iconic.
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Regarding this post I made earlier examining Geeta's antics in Paldea.
In Defense of Geeta
I feel like Geeta absolutely was written to be the shitty boss she is intentionally. There's too many situations where attention is drawn to her bad habits, either as them being directly pointed out or indirectly referenced. But what I really hope the case ends up being is that she's not at all a villain. Pokemon has gone the route of the suspicious CEO-type character being the "twist villain nobody could have seen coming!" for several games now. It's getting pretty old and I feel like it would be a weak direction for S/V to take.
Interestingly enough, one actually can look at all of Geeta's actions and not really see anything nefarious about them. Discussion after the jump for the sake of spoilers and wall'o'text.
It's very easy to look at Geeta and think she's a Bad Guy, given her strange behavior and all the negative attention she gets among the fandom. I'm certainly not innocent of seeing her in a less than endearing light, given my prior post. But a lot of that view does come from real world parallels and comparing the game's presentation to past Pokemon games in which nobody ever says the slightest criticism of the Champion, which may not necessarily be fair.
One of the biggest justifications Players have to indicate Geeta is bad is the way she meddles with the Gym Leaders and how corporate she's made the League. I pointed that out myself. But to flip it around... maybe she behaves that way because it's what the Gym Leaders need?
We constantly see Geeta inserting herself into events throughout the game. She shows up at the Academy, pops up at Gyms seemingly at random, and is always talking about how she has other pressing business that pulls her away from lingering too long. The only way she gets time to participate in casual encounters is when others (usually Nemona or the Player, if not both) take some of her workload off her plate. While I criticized the way Geeta had apparently deeply intertwined the Pokemon League, the Academy, and the Paldean economy itself, it does stand to reason doing so puts a ton of work on her having to maintain it. That's her own doing though, so it's a case of her getting what she signed up for and she never seems to shy away from it despite her habit of recruiting others to help.
The Gym Leaders, though? While they do remark about Geeta meddling with them, giving frequent reviews, and otherwise sticking her nose into their business, they've also shown that they're all pretty flaky. Rather, they're a total mess both individually and collectively. It's possible that the reason Geeta is constantly keeping an eye on them is because they need that in order to fit the direction Geeta is trying to guide the League in.
When we meet each of the Gym Leaders both in our first encounter and in the rematch post-game, we learn a lot about their behaviors through casual exposure. All of the Gym Leaders have a job besides running a Gym and, with the exception of Grusha, all of them show that running the Gym is by no means their top priority. Nor are any of them especially reliable when it comes to managing their Gyms. Based on past games, we're accustomed to Gym Leaders taking a large amount of pride in their position and holding it in esteem even when they also had other simultaneous jobs. We've seen Gym Leaders and Elite Four who were also artists, performers, athletes, CEOs, and such before. That's not the case with Paldea though; to these Gym Leaders, it's just a job and not necessarily one they put a lot of personal investment into compared to their actual passions/careers. It's mentioned that Geeta "strong-armed them" into taking on the role, which can be read that she went out of her way to convince strong, capable Trainers to become Gym Leaders for the sake of Paldea and because she saw the potential they held but weren't utilizing.
Katy flat-out forgot that she was under review and only appeared for the rematch by pure coincidence because she just so happened to visit that day. When we first meet Kofu, he and his assistant are both a totally scatterbrained mess. Iono only bothers with being a Gym Leader because it gets her viewership for her streamer career; if something else better came along, she'd surely jump for it immediately. Brassius is very upfront about his artistic passions being the number one thing in his life and openly abandons his responsibilities as a Gym Leader to pursue them during the rematch. Tulip's modeling career keeps her busy and she only has just enough time to show up for a brief match before immediately leaving to get back to her work. Ryme is more focused on her music career and wasn't even the original Gym Leader; that position belonged to her sister, Professor Tyme, who left the role to become a teacher. Larry, despite being the most vocal about his dislike of Geeta's habits, is also the most distracted as he has three simultaneous jobs and constantly works overtime. Finally, Grusha doesn't have any job besides being a Gym Leader, but that's only due to an injury that has made it impossible for him to pursue his original passion. That same injury has likewise cost him his motivation and drive to improve; he's only hanging onto his role as Gym Leader because he doesn't think he has anything else going for him now.
With all that in mind, it makes sense a rigid sort like Geeta would want to keep a close watch and short leash on all these unreliable personalities, doesn't it? She has to keep tabs on them because they risk failing the various Trainers who hope to challenge them otherwise, along with squandering their own potential. Geeta is always very open about her desire to foster powerful Trainers out of Paldea, if nothing else. After the rematch, all the Gym Leaders express a level of understanding and even appreciation toward Geeta for what she's done for them. Grusha and Larry stand out in particular, as they both confess that her meddling has helped motivate them to go beyond what they've settled into. Where Larry mentions that Geeta will dock his pay if he wastes time, he also mentions that she insists he stop overworking himself with overtime hours. So it's possible she's simultaneously trying to keep him focused without letting him overdo it as well.
When it comes to how corporate Geeta has made the League, that's not technically fair to say either. It's an easy shorthand but not entirely accurate. The goal of corporations is to make profit no matter what, but that's not really Geeta's motivation. She's not looking to get rich or powerful, but to rally as many genuinely powerful and talented Trainers up within Paldea as she can. That, in and of itself, isn't at all a bad thing and is commonly shared among all regions that have a League. While I criticize League Points as being company scrip, it does supply not just Trainers but all citizens of Paldea with an alternative way of funding themselves. This would include the Gym Leaders; despite common remarks (which I have made myself) about Geeta not paying the Gym Leaders a living wage, it's entirely possible they do indeed make plenty to thrive on and just have their non-Gym Leader job because that's their true passion that they want to put their effort into. Be it cash or League Points, they do have a salary. Larry himself mentions it outright, while Grusha and Brassius don't seem to be in any financial straits despite their unstable working conditions outside the Gyms. When it comes to the region's economy as a whole, subsidizing major commercial chains throughout the region just to make food and supplies more accessible can't be cheap; when you sell goods to the PokeMart for cash, you only get a fraction of the total value, but get significantly more (usually double) the value in League Points. Geeta's overall emphasis doesn't seem to be shaping the League and its sphere of influence within Paldea to make herself wealthy or powerful, but rather to make the whole affair as plainly efficient and self-sustaining as possible. In that regard, she's done a fantastic job.
When all is said and done, I genuinely hope Geeta isn't a villain but simply a boss with lofty visions, exacting demands, and absolutely terrible interpersonal skills. I feel like she'd be a lot more interesting that way in that she'd be a genuinely flawed person without her issues just being dismissed as "because she's the Bad Guy".
#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#pokemon geeta#pokemon larry#pokemon grusha#but seriously - where the hell are Poppy's parents? What's the deal? I NEED ANSWERS#Geeta ruins everything but maybe not#I'm down for Socially Inept Disaster Boss Geeta#Why are you Gym Leaders not being productive and happy? I specifically requested it.
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The 118 Sauce Chat
Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop
Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?
Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot
Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.
Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.
Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.
Eddie: Cook on HIGH
Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)
Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green
Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese
Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.
Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.
I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).
I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".
Chim: Except in this case
Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule
Hen: Why? The spices.
Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts
Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*
Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.
Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.
Bobby: RIGHT????
Bobby: Please Eddie
Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means
Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first
Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?
Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....
Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.
Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???
Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff
Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this
Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point
Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground
-Athena
Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received
Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated
-Maddie
Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane
Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please
Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you
Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.
Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.
Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie
Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.
Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice
Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!
Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations
Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread
Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing
Inspired by:
#things i decided i could make about 911#Eddie diaz commits food crimes#Buck is his accomplice#buddie fic#911 fic#911 fanfic#text fic#incorrect 911 quotes#911 abc#911 fox
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