#a bit of niceness amidst all the Horrors i am about to put them all through lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sevlgi · 3 years

Text

bubblegum pop

requested: no

group: twice

pairing: sana x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: rich girl!sana, college!au, cashier!reader.

warnings: none

synopsis: An unfortunately hostile encounter with the school’s sweetest rich girl might just lead to more than you ever expected.

a/n: inspired by @pearicot‘s mean girl rosie series! (by the way, i’m not trying to feed into the “dumb sana” stereotype with this; i just thought that her personality fitted the character i was trying to achieve! does anyone wanna request continuations or scenarios in this universe 👀

word count: 3.3k

Something about Mondays the week of finals always got you in a bad mood, especially when you had to work double shifts at the same stupid ice cream shop you’d worked at for the past 2 years of college.

So maybe, just maybe, there was reasoning behind you snapping at the love of your life during your first meeting.

Actually, there really, really wasn’t.

There were plenty of mean girls on campus who you wouldn’t regret yelling at whatsoever, but you just happened to blow up at one of the considerably nicer rich girls.

Minatozaki Sana didn’t mean anything bad when she innocently held out a hundred dollar bill to pay for a $5 ice cream. She didn’t mean to seem pretentious, nor did she mean to mock you and your minimum-wage job, but you just so happened to take it that way.

“Really? You have to rub it in my face like that?”

Sana stared at you, the money that she held out wavering in the ear. “Sorry?”

Pinching the space between your eyebrows, you huffed out an exasperated breath. Luckily, there was no one else in the shop about to witness the stupidest meltdown of your life. “You think I don’t know that I’m poor? It’s five dollars for God’s sake, no need to bring out the big guns. Oh, or are you doing this to avoid seeming more pretentious with your daddy’s black card?”

The brunette’s hand retreated quickly, the heels of her Louboutins clacking softly against the pastel-toned linoleum of the ice cream shop. Fuck, you hated that linoleum. “I... I didn’t mean any of that, I swear! Um, is there an ATM near here?”

Once again, the girl meant well, and you took it badly. You scoffed, glaring disbelievingly at her. Some part of you was screaming out that you were putting your entire job at stake, and your morals as well, but you disregarded any common sense remaining in your brain. “An ATM for 5 bucks? Dude, just don’t.” Dipping your hand into the tip jar, you scrounged out a lousy crumpled bill and threw it down on the counter, shoving the bubblegum-flavored sweet to Sana. “Okay? Now get out, I don’t want to see your privileged ass anywhere near here.”

The dense gray clouding your mind somehow missed the hurt expression on the girl’s face as the staff door swung open. Wendy’s hands, though gentle on your shoulders, shoved you behind her with surprising force. “I am so sorry, Sana, it’s finals week. Surely you can understand? The ice cream’s on the house.”

“No, of course it’s okay!” Sana sounded genuine enough, that was for sure; you caught her glancing worriedly at you a couple times, nothing malicious whatsoever in her eyes. “I can pay though, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. See you in class,” Wendy called out, smiling all the while until the girl disappeared into the Lamborghini parked by the curb. As soon as that happened, she turned back to you, concern tugging at the corner of her lips. “Y/N...”

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled as you crossed your arms. Already, you were regretting what you said, though you were far too stubborn to actually apologize on the spot. “No arguing with customers about capitalism. Sorry, Wendy.”

The girl bit her lip, scanning the store to make sure that there wasn’t about to be an influx of customers. Usually she enjoyed working with you; you just had absolutely terrible mood swings sometimes, and those days were nothing short of hellish for her to deal with. “Just head home. Focus on your finals, and come back next week. Okay?”

You hesitated to agree, knowing that you needed the money, but the grim expression on Wendy’s face told you that you had no other option. “Okay. Sorry.”

As you snatched up your stuff and shoved the door to the street open, you missed the sight of Sana watching you through the tinted windows of her 6-figure car.

“Really? Sana?”

“I know,” you groaned, biting down on the plastic spoon in your mouth. The flavor of the month (the only one you could eat completely free) lingered unpleasantly on your tongue, the taste of it oddly salty. “She was so nice about it, too.”

Jeongyeon and Mina exchanged glances, not touching their respective cups of “Ocean Caramel” either. It was extremely kind of them to come and accompany you on the slow days, both of them even offering to suffer through the gross ice cream with you. “If it was Park Roseanne I might understand, but Sana,” Mina winced. Jeongyeon nodded in agreement; after all, everyone on campus knew about the reputations of Roseanne and Sana.

On one end of the “rich girl” spectrum, Roseanne was quite possibly the bitchiest one of all. She and her Bugatti Veyron, the college upgrade from her old McLaren, absolutely weren’t to be messed with. People who went to high school with you often told story of the G Wagon she smashed, the locker room she lit on fire, and so many other horror tales of a spoiled girl gone wild. You were sure that had you gone off on her, even Wendy wouldn’t have stopped you.

But on the other end, Sana was notoriously kind. Sure, her family raked in an income close to that of the other girl’s, and her wardrobe was just as expensive, but she made a point to donate to charities every time she went shopping. She tipped in the hundreds, and she didn’t ever ask for her designer clothes back when she lent them to strangers. She paid any dinner bill in full when she was there, and sometimes even when she wasn’t invited.

No one was entirely sure about the relationship between the two, but Roseanne seemed to hate Sana more than she did other people. The two fought publicly occasionally, but Sana’s kind heart made it so that even Roseanne couldn’t carry a fight very long. She didn’t respond to insults, it seemed, nor did she ever seem to actually take them personally.

Stirring her half-melted soup, Mina continued, “Hopefully she doesn’t hold it against you. She doesn’t seem like the type, but...”

Jeongyeon shook her head, opening her mouth just as the doorbell rang. You froze when you looked up to find a designer-dressed bombshell, a sweet smile outlined in Chanel Rouge Allure. She looked completely out of place amidst tired college kids spending their last paycheck on ice cream, white gauzy sleeves and blue dress shimmering under LED lights. If you were being honest, you’d say that she was the most beautiful person you’d seen in your life, but you were always well versed in lying to yourself. “Y/N, you better go.”

“Why?” you whined, pouting at your much more responsible friends. They ignored your puppy face, though; Jihyo was usually the only one you could sway, Momo sometimes if she was feeling merciful. “I’m on break.”

“Only when there’s no customers,” Mina argued, shoving you to stand. Jeongyeon smiled at you, waving you away. “Go, and don’t screw it up this time.”

You forced a smile onto your face when you reached the counter, bowing and adjusting your name tag. “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

“Hi, Y/N!” Sana grinned, bowing back. The fact that she remembered your name only made your guilt worse; if she forgot who you were, you could at least pretend that she didn’t remember the incident at all. “Ah, could I have the same thing as last time? Bubblegum Pop ice cream, on a sugar cone today. 3 scoops?”

Nodding, you moved to open the case, avoiding the girl’s gaze as you did. “Of course.” She was quiet at that, staring at the ceiling so as not to rush you. Without prompting, you blurted, “I’m... I’m really sorry about last week, by the way. I don’t know what I was thinking, blowing up at you like that.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay!” she protested, waving a manicured hand in the air. “I promise I understand you. We all have our bad days.”

You wanted to apologize again, if just to assuage your guilt, but you held off on it, joking, “How do you deal with them? Yell at Gucci assistants?”

Sana looked honestly offended as she accepted the cone proffered to her, eyes widening in shock. “I’ve never done that, I swear! Besides, I don’t like Gucci much.”

A light smile quirking at the corners of your lips, you handed the receipt to her as well. She didn’t ask for it, probably not caring about the measly price or having the space for it in her tiny bag, but took it anyway. “I’m sure you don’t. Your total is $5.23, will that be cash or card?”

“Cash!” She held out a 10 dollar bill, pride shining behind that gorgeous face as you raised your eyebrows in surprise. When your hands brush together, you were reminded of how much better she was than you, how you probably weren’t worthy at all to be touching her with your shop-issued baseball cap and grimy apron. But Sana doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling that airy smile at you and not moving away. She broke your stare by offering, “I don’t want to sound rude, but keep the change.”

“Not rude at all,” you fully laughed that time, dishing out the remainder to stuff in your tip jar. You still felt terrible that she felt the need to apologize about such a normal comment, asking, “Are you sure it’s okay? You can have this one free too, if it makes up for me shouting at you...”

Sana shook her head, sugary light pink already mixing into her lipstick. She walked away, still waving with that gorgeous smile on her face. “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon, Y/N, you look really pretty today!”

Turning back to your friends, you whispered, “Damn. She’s really nice.”

You planned on spending your one day off from school and work cozied up with a good book and your favorite hot drink, but you supposed that getting into a fight with Park Roseanne wasn’t the worst way to go either.

As soon as you entered campus, book in hand and blasting music in your earbuds, you found a crowd of at least 3 dozen people right in front of the library building. It was unlike you to butt into others’ business, especially when it might lead to a ruined day, but Roseanne’s voice carried loud over the hushed whispers of everyone else. “--huh, Sana?”

It wasn’t any of your business, but for some reason, Roseanne’s tone when saying Sana’s name angered you immensely. Frowning, you shouldered your way through the crowd. The closer you got to the center, the more expensive the clothing that brushed against your own rough jean jacket was, cotton and leather becoming silk and velvet. You originally planned to just fit in with the other spectators, but with a shove at the small of your back, you were thrust into the center too.

To your shock, Sana’s eyes were red and shining with tears, the tip of her nose cherry-colored as well. Her head was almost bowed as she stared at her shoes, but she looked up to you when you almost bumped into her. You stuttered out, “H-hey. What’s going on?”

Instead of an explanation from the Japanese girl, though, your gaze was drawn to the blonde across the courtyard. “Didn’t you hear? Little Miss Perfect here got broken up with,” Roseanne scoffed, an infuriating smirk on her perfect face as she tilted her head at you. “By a future CEO, no less. I guess she isn’t a gold-digger, or maybe there’s some other reason that he didn’t want her anymore.”

Your hand shot out to protect Sana, a scowl making its way onto your own face. “Excuse me? From my standpoint, any future CEO is still way outta her league, so forgive me for doubting that he’s the one who didn’t want her. You’re the one dating someone who makes a tenth of what you do.”

Roseanne rolled her eyes, lips thinning. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that, Y/L/N, or you’ve got another thing coming. There aren’t many lesbians in this damn school.”

“You know me, don’t you?” Sana’s voice was wavering as she spoke, but it was strong enough to echo in the courtyard. To your surprise (and somewhat satisfaction), the blonde girl’s eyes widened as Sana stood forward, her lips jutting forward. “That’s why I’m not dating him anymore. I like girls, too.”

Somehow, you’d never expected that Sana was attracted to girls, but it made perfect sense. An irrational part of you wanted to cheer, but instead, you forced yourself to speak.

“R-right.” You continued to glare at Roseanne, who finally seemed to be speechless. “Yeah, so how come you’re tearing Sana down? We should be supporting each other, but you’re being so rude to someone so kind, and that says all I need to know about you.”

Reaching out, you latched onto Sana’s upper arm and pulled her out of the circle, people parting to let the two of you through as Roseanne wasn’t able to conjure up something to respond with. You didn’t stop walking until there was only silence surrounding you under the shade of a swaying tree, finally stopping to let the girl sit. “Are you okay?” you asked, brow furrowed as you knelt to be mostly face-level with her.

Somehow, there was a smile on her face; a slightly snotty smile, but nonetheless the most beautiful one you’d ever seen in your life. You ignored the uncomfortable leap of your heart when you reached out to take her hands into your own, somehow forgetting about the hostility you’d felt towards her from the beginning. “You- you stood up for me.”

“Yeah. I did, I guess,” you shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’m sure that was rough, though, to come out. How’re you feeling?”

“Honestly, much better,” Sana sighed. She leaned back, fingers curling slightly around yours as the afternoon sun shone golden brown in the locks of hair spread out on her shoulders. “It was good to get it off my chest. I didn’t even know you were into girls, you know.”

Reaching up to scratch your head, you chuckled, “Well, I am, if it makes you feel any better. What happened between the two of you, by the way? She seems to hate you so much.”

The girl laughed, as bubbly and airy as her regular voice. “I may or may not have dated her girlfriend before. But it was a long time ago, and I’m still friends with her! Roseanne just can’t forgive me.”

You feigned shock, swatting at her arm. “How terrible of you! I’m so disappointed.”

You were stuck simply smiling at each other for a good minute or so before you looked away, picking at your shoelace for something to do. “So. Uh, Roseanne knew the whole time?”

“She did,” Sana confirmed, nodding. “She just never talked about it.”

“Well, it’s good to know that she isn’t the only other one in the school with me,” you sighed, sitting back on your heels.

Sana lurched back forward, hands clasping together at her chest. “Then we should celebrate! We can go shopping or something, and we can just be happy that we aren’t alone anymore.”

It suddenly struck you how quickly you could change the girl’s entire outlook, a smile coming onto her face with no effort from you whatsoever. But even more surprising, you smiled even larger than she did just looking at her.

Laughing, you sat back on your heels and shook your head lightly. Seeming to take it as a rejection, Sana’s eyes widened. “Oh, only if you want to, of course! We can go wherever you want, we don’t even have to go shopping if you don’t want to!”

“No, we can go shopping,” you answered, reaching back over to squeeze her hand and pulling her up with you when you stood. “Come on, then. Let’s go celebrate.”

Sana wasn’t a great driver, but you didn’t expect much else. You were practically sick to your stomach by the time that you reached the mall, face green as you swayed out of the car.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m sorry!” Her hands rubbed lightly at your back as you squatted in the parking lot, fist held tight to your mouth. It wasn’t like you were actually going to throw up, but you didn’t want to risk ruining the girl’s expensive shoes. “I’ll let you drive next time.”

Next time? you wanted to ask. But you managed to stand, nodding quickly to ease Sana’s worry. “Yeah. It’s fine, I’m fine. Should we go?”

Immediately, she latched onto your hand, swinging between the two of you as she started to rush forward. “H-hey, lock your car first!”

Sana had unsurprisingly expensive tastes, but also surprisingly understated ones. She was fun to shop with, that was for sure- she loved to offer you clothes and also to offer to pay for them, but you didn’t necessarily hate a pretty girl telling you you’d look gorgeous in a certain sparkly dress.

She didn’t do any of the typical stuck-up things you expected her to- Sana carried her own bags, and she never forced you to follow her instead of doing what you wanted to. She did like to try on outfits and show them to you, but that could be ignored when it was just another opportunity for you to stare at her.

Eventually, you ended up having ice cream at one of the stores in the mall. You balked at the price, but Sana swiped her credit card without hesitation. “I have to admit, this bubblegum doesn’t taste as good as yours,” she pouted.

Chuckling, you savored the rich flavor on your own tongue. “You should’ve picked an expensive flavor then. Vanilla and chocolate are always good in these kinds of stores.”

“You know a lot about ‘these kinds of stores’ for someone who claims to be poor,” she teased, eyes widening as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” you smiled, leaning on your palm. “I’m good with it, since we’re friends now.”

Sana grinned at that, her eyes curving charmingly. “We’re friends? Most people don’t want to be friends with me, I’m really glad you’re willing to.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

Looking down for once, the girl mumbled, “They say I’m dumb. You know that everyone says I’m nice, but they also think I’m dumb because I pay for everything. I just want to be kind, but no one takes me seriously.”

A wave of guilt rushed over you for previously feeding into the stereotype. The more time you spent with Sana, the more you realized that she was as brilliant as any other, and far more kind. “Well, that’s stupid. You are kind, Sana, and you’re amazing. I’m lucky to be your friend.”

She clasped your hand over the table, soft skin warm over yours, pink flushing in her pale cheeks. “Thank you, Y/N. You know, this is the best time I’ve had in a while. My boyfriend didn’t even listen to me this well,” she laughed.

Despite the fact that she treated it as a joke, you felt horrible. She was all too used to thinking the worst about herself and not believing that she was worth any better, and that was the worst possible thing you could imagine for a girl with a heart of gold. Jabbing your spoon into the remaining ice cream, you blurted, “Then go on a date with me. A proper one, not just a normal hangout like this.”

Sana instantly blushed, looking down as if it’d hide her face at all. But she missed the heat that rose to your cheeks too, the nervous biting of your lip as you waited for a response. “I would love nothing more,” she smiled, her eyes shining brilliantly. “And I can’t wait.”

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razrbladekiss · 3 years

Text

Tyrants | Chapter Four - Peril

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

WARNINGS: Mentions of death, drug use, Tig being Tig. The usual SOA shit. Sorry Donna..

She always saw the beauty in darkness. The lugubrious belle that came alongside the moon and stars and whatever else lurked amidst the murk of nighttime.

Isla was cliche in that sense.

She was cliche in the sense that she adored watching the sun set, swallowed by the mountains and high-rise buildings as the evening fell and Charming was painted black.

And maybe it was mostly melancholic because of the horrors that swathed that small town, but it was still beautiful nonetheless.

She still liked to bask in the scenery, to discern the marvel of her home, from the highest point she could access. And, sometimes, she liked to take somebody along with her so she wasn't completely alone.

"Why'd you still come up here?" Ope asked, pulling himself onto the roof as she sat with her back to the wall--puffing on a cigarette.

"Because it's quiet." She was content, comfortable with her response. "And whenever I'm looking for Jax, or Gem, or my dad--or they're looking for me--this is where we're almost always found. Just people watching, or reminiscing, or having a few minutes to ourselves away from the chaos downstairs."

It wasn't an unknown safe space--Gemma had told her that JT and Clay would climb up there during the earliest days of the club--but it was special.

Jax, Opie, and Isla spent time up there as kids, too. Because they were bastards and were always running from their fathers--and den mother--and the roof of the clubhouse was their go-to.

She never really got out of that habit. She'd spend hours up there if she could, just watching as Charming bustled beneath her. And she liked that it was separate to the garage, but everyone knew where to find her if they needed her.

"It clears your head, being up here." She added. "I have got so much shit going on right now--between work, and my personal life--but coming up here is like a refreshment, I guess."

Opie understood what she meant because he was also seeking comfort in the night. Riding through dusk, spending time alone on his bike as he cruised the streets of his quaint town, relishing in the darkness because it was strangely comforting to him.

He liked to be alone. His thoughts were brutal and they seared his brain left and fucking right, but he liked his own company.

"Wish I thought about comin' up here when I was released from holding." The man chuckled, balancing a cigarette between his lips. "Stahl grilled the fuck outta me."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She really fuckin' did." He added, grunting as smoke blew from his nostrils. "Did she get you? I know she got Gemma."

"Nope, she didn't. I don't know why, though. She interrogated everyone else. Starting to feel a little left out."

Opie chuckled, smiling a bit. "Be glad. It's obvious that she's used to getting what she wants."

"And did you give it to her?"

"Fuck no." Isla smiled. Proud. "She can cross-examine me all she fuckin' wants—I'll never sell the club out."

"They know that, Ope."

"I know." Half confidently, he nodded. "Just—Stahl made me second guess it all, y'know?"

Nobody in Charming--aside from the PD--knew where that despicable bitch came from, and nobody cared to ask.

What they did know, though, was that she had her heart set on making that town a living fucking hell as she strived to eradicate the Sons of Anarchy by getting to its members.

She'd grilled everyone she could've. She cornered Gemma when she was out running errands, leaving the grocery store with a sour taste in her mouth when Teller told her where to fucking shove it.

Same went for Jax, and Clay, and Chibs, and Tig, and...Well, all of them told her to get fucked, actually.

None of them caved. None of them wanted to sell the club out because there was no reason to.

Well, there was a reason to, but no desire to.

There'd been murders. Three, to be specific. And one of them just happened to be a police officer--which was quite unlucky, but it wasn't awful.

They hated cops.

What they hated more, however, was the idea of getting caught by them. And Clay was. Somehow, anyway.

Piney's old "friend"--Nate Meineke--needed quality, albeit illegal, guns with no traceability to attack the convoy that was transporting one of his friends from point A to point B. And it went as swimmingly as possible...

Until June Stahl was put on the case and found that idiot's phone at the scene after dropping it mid-ambush.

Clay just happened to be the last person he had called. Which then caused the investigation to point toward Charming.

They all knew the Sons were guilty of supplying those weapons. Who else would it have been? They were known for running illegal firearms without batch numbers from a quaint Californian town whose name didn't quite fit its image.

It was blatant, though nobody gave it up.

But Stahl tried her damndest to get answers. And when she didn't, she targeted the member that she saw to be the most vulnerable--after a hit went wrong and he failed to cover his tracks--and Opie just happened to be that guy.

She questioned him for hours. She practically held the man captive in that little cell until he caved. But he didn't--and he wasn't going to, either.

He was loyal. That's one of the reasons why Jax wanted to patch him back in.

"Yeah, I know." Isla got to her feet when she heard Tig yelling for her downstairs. "But you're the strongest guy I know, Ope. I don't think Stahl, of all people, is gonna get to you."

He shrugged her off, flicking the butt of his cigarette to the gravelly ground of the roof.

Opie had changed. Not much, and it wasn't very apparent, but he'd changed. Chino had changed him, she thought.

He was still dedicated to his club, still in love with the reaper and the responsibility that came with the patch--but Opie Winston lacked that flicker of enthusiasm now.

"How does your dad feel about you being back at the table?"

"Said he's proud of me."

He was a man of very, very few words. But the tone that he took--the sheer relief twined into contentment--spoke a greater volume.

Piney would always support his son, feel a sense of gratification from his involvement in the club. And, of course, Ope felt grateful to be back--but it was different now.

He'd served time for his club. Donna consistently argued that they sold him out and that he was fucking stupid for running back into the arms of SAMCRO.

But it was his brotherhood. The Sons of Anarchy were his family--his lifeline. He was nothing if not blessed to be patched back in.

"And I guess that wife of yours isn't too happy about it?"

"How'd you reach that conclusion?"

"Well," she ignored that Tig was waiting for her, standing directly in front of him. "If she was genuinely thrilled about you being back here, she'd have been coming to Gemma's dinners, and spending more time at the clubhouse with us. But she isn't, and I'm starting to realize that she probably hates me now."

His head shook. "She doesn't hate you. It's just...It's just raw. Weird being back, I think."

"She didn't even have to leave. She knows that."

Donna did know that. But there was always something about Gemma. About the way she let things slide so often, how she felt that she had Clay so pussy whipped that he'd be at her every beck and call--but, really, that was redundant. Because Gemma let him get away with fucking murder.

Literally.

"Is she gonna be there tonight?

"Of course. She wouldn't miss Jax's son coming home." He got up, reaching for her hands. "Sorry that she's been so distant with you, Isla. But she's just been stressed out--money worries and the kids and stuff, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know."

Donna wasn't traditionally a worrier. But five years worth of finances, being a single mom, and fretting over her husband potentially not making it out of prison alive, just did that to a woman.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so." Grateful for her offering, though recognizing how damn stubborn his wife was, he conceded. "Thanks, though."

"Anytime. And if you change your mind, or need me, you know where I am--"

"Isla!"

"He is getting on my last fucking nerve today." She groaned, flipping Tig off as she looked over the ledge. "I'm coming! Give me a minute!"

"I've given you plenty of minutes! Just get your ass down here!"

"Just go," Ope chuckled, leaning down to peck her cheek. "We can have this talk another time."

Isla turned back to him, frowning. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Go 'n talk to him--I'll see you tonight."

He was such a nice guy. So considerate, kind.

She loved him a lot.

The flouncy sundress rose to the middle of her thighs as she sauntered through the clubhouse, hearing Trager talking--rather conspicuously, though slightly muffled--to somebody on his cell.

"C'mon, Tiggy. Why'd you yell at me?"

He waved his hand to shut her up, gesturing for the blonde to follow him out of the clubhouse and toward his bike.

"Yeah, cool. K, brother--see 'ya later. Bye." He hung up and slid the phone into the pocket of his cut, swiveling to face Isla with a smile. "You ready?"

"For what?"

"The party?" Tig told her, watching confusion sweep over her face. "I'm taking you over 'cuz you want a drink and don't wanna drive home after? And that you're probably gonna end up heading home with Juice, or something--"

"Juice?"

"It always happens," he shrugged, pointing at the helmet he set out for her at the back of his bike. "We all head out, you get too drunk, you take a liking to Juicy, and you try to ride his dick."

"What?" Isla got herself situated behind him as he got on first, her arms wound around his waist. "That was one time. I've only slept with him once, and I told you it'd never happen again."

"And why is that?"

Her cheeks flushed red, the engine revving sending vibrations through her entire frame.

"Because he was too gentle." Tig's foot collided with the kickstand.

"And the little Catholic girl likes it rough."

She felt the solid gold crucifix burning a hole into her chest.

"Yes. I like it rough." He groaned, leaning into her. She swatted at his chest over his shoulder, laughing heartily. "Just take me to see the baby, dickhead."

The bike sped out of the lot and Isla was loving the thrill of being on two wheels. She'd always liked being stuck to the back of somebody's Harley--but she'd never own one herself.

Isla was like Gemma. She felt stable enough riding with somebody, but riding alone--being in control of the motorcycle--was fucking terrifying.

Jax and Opie had encouraged her to take a ride at one point, but it didn't end very well, and Chibs spent the best part of two hours trying to stitch his daughter back up whilst Gemma castigated the two imbeciles who thought it was even reminiscent of a good idea.

Weaving through traffic gracefully, freely, was appealing to her, however. But she wouldn't be caught dead--alone--on a fucking bike.

Plus, she quite enjoyed being taken places. Escorted by a member of the club. It was safe.

The wind whirred and whipped around them, and she wished she didn't make the effort with her hair tonight. It was ruined, tousled to within an inch of its life, and she dreaded the thought of having to brush the knots out in Jax's bathroom.

Still, commuting via Harley was a hell of a lot quicker and had a few more benefits than commuting via car.

But the looks that they got were piercing. Horrible. Mainly from Hale stationed beside his squad car, watching as Isla and Tig raced down the freeway.

"He likes you." He spoke over the roaring engine when he hit the first stop light all night. "He hates that you've never given him a chance--"

"He's a cop, and I'm the outlaw's daughter. I've been raised to hate his kind."

Tig nodded his approval, setting off once again when the light switched to green and all opposing traffic stood still.

At one strange point in time, David Hale had his sights set on Isla Telford. He was in love with her. Completely besotted.

And she never gave him a second glance because, for one, she wasn't interested. He hated that she was so close to Jax and Opie, but not him, and he wished that she'd push herself away from the bad guys to grow closer to the heroic law-enforcer.

But he was a control freak above everything else, and Isla was just a free-spirit. She was loyal to her friends and family but she didn't want to get tied down, and she didn't want to become friendly with a fucking cop.

The only cop she liked was crooked. And Unser was in a similar spot to her--a little too affiliated with SAMCRO, but not completely doted on. Though, they were both strangely essential fixtures, and Clay would've been lost without them.

"Juice is here." Tig taunted as he helped her off the bike, holding her hand when she stumbled over herself a little. "Try to keep those panties on."

"Can't make any promises, Tiger." Her growl was seductive, though he knew that she was fucking with him.

She'd given up rebuking his claims, instead feeding into them because, with Trager, she couldn't seem to win. He was sleazy, and she loved that back and forth.

What she loved more, though, was that he was comfortable. He was a strange man, and nobody really understood just where he came from, but Isla liked that she could make jokes of any kind around him. He was easy to get along with. Easy to love.

And, man, did she love Alex Trager.

"If you do fuck him, though, would you make a video?"

Isla stepped into Jax's front room, turning on her heels. "Who said that we haven't already got one?"

She chuckled and wandered into the party, leaving Tig with a few convoluted thoughts and even more raunchy questions.

"Fuck. Gemma taught her well." He grumbled under his breath, reaching for the beer in Half-Sack's hand.

He slumped on the couch, motioning for his usual lay to sit in his lap as he watched Juice fawn over his little blonde friend making conversation with some other random woman already.

"Yeah, totally..." she agreed with whatever the girl was saying, but her eyes were glued on Tara. Just floating around the party.

She felt bad that the doctor was alone. Despite all that she thought of her, being out of ones depth in such an intimidating setting wasn't very nice. And Isla was an empath.

"D'ya think anyone 'round here has any nail glue?"

"Gemma might." She smiled, pointing toward the kitchen.

Grateful that she managed to shake that one off, Isla weaved through the small conclave and sat beside Tara, offering a friendly face during a time of such discomfiture.

Her heart was aching, the sheer nervousness was palpable, and she knew that Tara felt the same way too.

But Isla just sucked it up. Because she wanted to talk to her, and had to be the one to initiate it.

"Thanks for coming." Her smile was wide, genuine.

She offered a beer to the brunette, hoping that she'd take it.

"Thanks for asking me here." Tara accepted it, glad that Isla remembered she wasn't particularly a wine girl like herself.

Christ. This is awkward.

"Trust me, you were the first person I asked to come tonight."

"How so?"

"Well," a little bit more comfortably, she faced her completely, "you've literally nursed Abel back to health. You've been there every step of the way. You've been the best surgeon. And, as much as I hate to say it, you helped Wendy so much, Tara. I'm really thankful for all that you've done for this family."

"It's my job." She tried to brush the comments off, but her heart definitely fluttered at the praise.

Isla never changed. She was still the sweetest soul, she thought.

"I know, but you've had it rough with this lot--with Gemma, I mean."

"She isn't anything I can't handle." Confidently, she asserted.

"I know, and I'm glad that you're able to stand your ground." Reluctant, a hand landed against Tara's palm.

She jolted a little bit, but softened into the embrace.

It was comfy, warm. Prosperous, perhaps, because it meant something. Tara not jerking away and leaving once Isla offered a friendly embrace, was promising.

They spoke about the baby for a little while, and shared a few laughs at Tig's expense. It was strange, really. To be talking to her ex-best friend was strange, but she'd missed it.

Donna joined the mix, too, and it was starting to feel like old times. Isla recognized that they'd never slip back into that routine, the dedication to one another that they'd known when they were kids--but it was nice.

The conversation stuttered and it wasn't able to flow as freely as what she might've liked, but it was a start.

To know that she had something resembling an acquaintanceship with two women she admired, was nice.

And Jax introducing his baby to his brand new home, to his extended family that were already so fucking dedicated to him, was just the most wonderful thing ever.

"What about a beer?" Clay joked, holding the bottle close to Abel. Jax laughed, though he shook his hand away. "What? Grandpa can't give him his first beer?"

"No, he can't."

"I'll take it, though. If you're offerin'." Chibs grabbed the Budweiser and twisted the cap with the leather grip of his glove.

He gestured to Isla, tipping it toward her. "Want some?"

"No, you're alright." She went back to her wine, smiling at that little bundle of happiness in Jax's arms, wondering how the hell he'd gotten to be in this position now.

But it was because of Tara. Her commitment, her talent, and sheer want to help that angel through the roughest patch that a baby could have possibly been thrust into.

How Gemma could still loathe that girl--after everything she did--was beyond her completely.

Tara was the unlikeliest hero in Abel's story.

"Why is it that every time I see you, your highlights get more chunky?" Gemma smiled at the comment, turning to see her favorite girl, flaunting the most beautiful smile.

She handed Isla the bottle of whatever wine Chibs could get this evening, unable to quit beaming at the thought of her grandson finally being at home. Where he belonged.

"I told you I'd do them for you, Gem."

"I know," she nodded, playing with a few strands of hair, "I was gonna ask you, but you've been a little distant this week--didn't wanna add to your workload, baby."

"That's super considerate of you. Are you alright?" Isla teased, holding a hand to Gemma's forehead.

She slapped it away with a laugh. "Fuck you. I'm always considerate."

"Sure you are. That's why Wendy is here, right?"

"No," her head shook, "she's here 'cuz this is her house. If I had it my way, she'd be out on her ass faster than what you could even say 'crank whore.'"

Isla wiped at her lips with the back of her hand, tipping her head toward the blonde in the living room.

"I thought you made sure she was gonna be here tonight?" Confused, she quizzed.

She was under the impression that Wendy was starting to grow on her. After she'd tried to kill her, of course.

"I did," Gem confirmed. "But only because I knew it'd be awkward between her and Tara."

Amazed, or maybe fucking horrified, Isla simply glared at her.

It should've been obvious to her--plain as day--that Gemma Teller doing a good thing was simply a bullshit facade, built in order to take away from the fact she wanted to do an inherently bad thing.

But Isla liked to see the good in people, so it wasn't. And that really was one of her mot fatal flaws.

"She thanked me for letting her stay, too."

"And what'd you say to her?" Almost as if she didn't want to know the answer, she asked.

Black nails danced along the rim of her wine glass as she leaned against the counter, watching everybody enjoy themselves as they bitched and moaned.

"That she's lucky to be alive."

"Jesus, Gem," her head shook disparagingly, disappointed perhaps.

But being surprised that the woman made a threatening comment toward Wendy, was just as stupid as being surprised at Tig for fucking another hooker during his free time.

"You've gotta keep her close, ma. She's the mother of your grandson, the woman your son did love at one point."

Ma. The word rolled off her tongue unintentionally most of the time, but she didn't hate it.

Gemma was the mother figure in her life--hell, she was the mother figure in a few of the Sons' lives--and it didn't feel weird using that around her. It was affectionate. She adored it.

"Jax never loved her," matter of fact, she retorted. "They got drunk together. They smoked dope together. They didn't love one another--"

"They got married." Isla reminded her. "They have a kid together. They have a lot of history."

"Just because they have history, doesn't mean they love one another. You've got history with him."

Her chuckle was throaty, almost a full-on splutter. "We have not got that same history--we're friends, Gem, you know that's different."

She supposed the blonde was right.

There was hell of a contrast between friends for life and friends with benefits--and Gemma knew that. She just didn't like that Jax gravitated toward Wendy when he'd always had Isla right there in front of him.

Though, she was more than aware that the pair didn't look at each other that way--she still lauded the thought of the two together.

"I still hate her."

"I know," Isla laughed at Gemma's irritability, sipping on her wine, enjoying the sight of everybody having a damn good time.

"She's checking into rehab, too."

"Really? Where?"

"Some place in Oakland, I think." Gemma added, smiling at Clay when he wandered over to the pair. "But you didn't hear that from me."

"You think she's gonna stick to it?"

"Couldn't tell 'ya." He answered for his wife, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Isla's cheek. "She's determined though, I'll give her that."

"Yeah?" His nod was optimistic--strange for Clay Morrow. "Well, I'm glad she's working on herself, anyway. She's got potential."

"You hate her."

"I know." She didn't refute the assertion. "But I'm still happy for her."

At least somebody is.

She wasn't lying. Wendy was a good girl, a woman tortured for no good reason. And she felt for her, she really did.

It'd been a shock, finding out that she was pregnant. But it wasn't like they weren't expecting it--what with the rate she and Jax were going at it.

From the start, Isla and Gemma were worried. She was notorious for her crank habit and the girls thought she was going to kill herself before she had the chance to see her son into the world.

And that almost happened, didn't it?

The doctors at St. Thomas were fucking miracle workers--Isla was on pins and needles waiting for a call to say that Wendy and Abel were okay.

But she tried not to dwell on that, now. They were both as healthy and Abel was as happy as he could've been, so Isla was content. She wasn't pleased, but she was comfortable with the way that things were going.

Tara, however.

"No!" She yelled, backing out of the nursery. "No, fuck you, Jax."

Juice stumbled backward when she nudged him out of the way, pulling her purse from the kitchen counter.

Isla and Gemma couldn't not stare.

"Tara, c'mon!" Jax called after her, but it was too late.

The front door had been slammed shut and the party came to a complete standstill. A thickening tension was shrouding the group, and things were only just starting to simmer.

"What was that all about?" The blonde asked Juice, leaning against the island.

She didn't want to prove Tig to be right but, after a few glasses of wine, Juan Carlos Ortiz was starting to pique her interests.

He swallowed thickly, watching Clay leave the room. "He said something about Wendy--wanting to keep whatever it is that he and Tara have going on the down low so it doesn't set her off, or something."

Makes sense.

"He has a point. She's doing really well lately." He continued. "Jax would hate to stunt her progress by shoving his relationship with Tara in her face."

Isla was rattled.

Jax hadn't talked to her in days, and she wasn't aware that so much had changed. She wasn't aware that he had established a relationship with Tara Knowles.

Again.

You know what they're like--like two fucking magnets or something. They always find a way back to one another.

She was too irritated to reside in that same room as Gemma, now. Knowing the conversation she'd initiate the second that Juice left was too fucking much. So she left first, instead.

The living room was almost empty. Just Clay, Bobby, Tig, and Chibs sat around the couches as Donna, the kids, and Ope were preparing to set off.

Everything was annoying her, now. She hadn't made the effort with Donna all night, but she was pissed that she hadn't started to say goodbye to her yet.

Isla was so fucking irritated that she didn't even want to talk to Tig, or her father. So she didn't.

"Where're you going, petal?" Chibs asked, hindering her plan to keep her mouth shut for the rest of the night. He knew that she'd crack a smile at the nickname.

"I was just wandering. Not really sure what to do with myself."

"Come sit down," he gestured to the space between himself and Tig, and wound an arm around her when she met the leather. "I've missed 'ya."

"Tonight? Or just in general."

"In general. It's been a few days, love."

"I know, I'm sorry." Her head rested against his Sgt. At Arms patch, and she sighed. "Work has been so fucking busy and I feel like I haven't gotten a moment to myself this week."

Isla only worked a part-time gig at some shitty salon just on the outskirts of Charming--edging into Stockton--but she hated her job.

She hated driving into the city every morning and evening, wasting a fuck ton of her paycheck on gas when, really, there was no point.

She hated her cunt boss.

Hated her cunt clients.

She hated that nobody really spoke to her because of who her father was. And when they did speak to her, it was almost like they were scared. Of Isla.

Gemma had always promised her that there was a space at the auto shop for her had she needed it, but she couldn't think of anything worse than having to answer to Gemma and Clay every single day.

Well, more than what she already was, anyway.

"Who'd 'a thought that being a hairdresser was so demanding?"

"Me, apparently." She joked, watching Tig get up and leave the room.

It'd turned somber. A little too bleak for her liking, but she guessed that everyone felt a bit awkward after Tara stamped out and Jax sat on his porch. Alone. With a bottle of whiskey.

She hated the hold that woman had over him sometimes. The way he was so fucking devoted to Tara Knowles that she could literally slap him, scream in his face, and ruin his son's homecoming party--and he would still pine for her.

She'd never understand that.

And she didn't understand how such a lively bunch of individuals had mellowed out over the course of two hours, either.

The party had disappeared. Dissipated into nothing and the atmosphere she once lauded was completely dead in the water.

It was fucking grim, and she couldn't wait to head home.

"Can I come with you tonight?"

"Why'd you even ask? Y'know you're welcome to come home with your old man whenever you want." Chibs told her a little bit stern, though it was essentially full of love.

She just smiled up at him, a bit buzzed. But she was having a good-ish time and who was he to chastise her for drinking a little too much tonight?

"Wanna head off now?"

"Yeah--lemme just say 'bye' to Gemma."

"Alright, I'll be out front. Don't forget your purse." He reminded, knowing she was too ditsy for her own good.

Chibs helped her to her feet, letting go of her hand only to part ways for a few moments.

Her mood was perking up, now. The prospect of being able to spend a few hours with her dad after a long fucking day, was just the best.

And she'd really missed him. Missed the time they once had an abundance of. Missed the evenings that they'd spend talking, drinking, watching movies, doing the generic father daughter activities.

They hadn't had that for a while, and it was truly a blessing that it was within reach tonight.

Well. It was within reach for all of five minutes.

"Oh my God--" Gemma's cell slipped from between black nails and bounced across the table. Saturated hues were locked on Isla, and her head shook.

"What?"

"There's--there's been an accident." She managed to muster out. "Or, maybe a drive-by, I don't know, but Donna--"

"Donna?" Piney's attention was snatched at the mention of his daughter-in-law. He stood up. "What about her?"

Isla knew the answer. She knew what Gemma was going to say because it was just the usual now, wasn't it?

Being affiliated with SAMCRO just did that to somebody. Man, woman, child. They didn't fucking care.

"She's--Piney, she's dead."

#tig trager #tig trager fanfiction #tig trager fic #sons of anarchy fic #sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy fandom #sons of anarchy #jax teller x oc #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller

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5thmarauderwrites · 4 years

Text

Apps, Texts & Wizardry — The Marauders x Reader | Request.

Requests are: OPEN.

Requested by Anonymous: “Helooo💛 could you write a modern au where the reader is teaching the marauders how to use tech? Have a nice day :)“.

Pairing: The Marauders x Fem!Reader [platonic].

Word Count: 2,4K

Warnings: None, it’s basically all fun and teasing and friends being friends.

A/N: Hope you like this! I had to refrain myself from the dialogues a bit because i had lots of fun remarks and teasing moments in my head as i imagined how the teaching process would be, so it would end up being very, very long if i hand’t stopped myself. Also the title SUCKS because i literally couldn’t think about anything good.

“L/N!” James yelled your last name in the middle of the library, shaking a brand new smartphone clutched in his hand; Sirius and Peter on his trail. Remus walked a little further, an apologetic frown on his features as he looked at you.

“Potter!” Madam Pince shrieked. “Out! Now!”

“But I’ve just got here!” The boy with unruly black hair protested.

“I do not care! Screams and loud tones of voice are strictly forbidden in my library! Go on – out! Out before I hex you!” The witch brandished her feather duster at the boy as she gesticulated for him to leave.

James grimaced, pushing his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose, “I just need to talk to my friend, please! She’s right there!” He pointed to you, who watched the unfolding scene with a look of pure terror, in fear that Madam Pince would banish you from the library for good after James’ antics.

Madame Pince sent you a death glare before turning back to the Marauders with a fulminant look on her face, “out, all of you! NOW!”

“We haven’t even done anything!” Sirius shrugged with a frown, trying to defend himself.

The older witch gave them a last warning glare and, getting the message; Remus mumbled an apology and dragged the other three boys out of the room. Madam Pince waited until they were completely off the library’s limits to walk angrily to the table you were sharing with Lily, Marlene and Alice in the quieter corner of the study room.

“L/N!” She spat as she approached your table. “You know you’re one of the few students that I actually tolerate in this school, but this better not happen again because next time you’ll be kicked out with them!”

You widened your eyes in horror and nodded vigorously, afraid to make any noise and irritate the librarian even more. Madam Pince huffed satisfied at your acknowledgement of her threat before turning on her heels and leaving you with a dumbfounded look on your face.

“I don’t know how you and Remus can be friends with those twats,” Lily said in a belittled tone of voice whilst rolling her eyes.

“They’re not that bad once-“ you started to defend the Marauders but trailed off as you looked in the direction of the closed window by the side of the door and saw James and Sirius with their faces glued to the glass, waving for you to come to them.

“You were saying?” Marlene frowned disgustedly at their behaviour.

“Come on, they’re nice people, girls!” Alice chuckled, defending the boys as the sweet and kind person she was.

“They are! Thank you, Ali!” You wrapped your arm around the girl’s shoulders in a gesture of appreciation.

“Sure,” Lily teased with a frown as she studied the boys, whom were now making silly faces at your group from behind the glass window. “I’m sure if you google stupid twats their names won’t come up as soon as you hit the search button.”

Marlene high-fived Lily at her remark and you couldn’t help but smile, even though you rolled your eyes at your redhead friend, “you know you and James have a lot in common, don’t you?” You teased, getting up and grabbing your phone and laptop.

“Where are you going?” She asked amidst a blush, purposely ignoring what you had just said.

“To see what they bloody want before Madam Pince spots them and forbids me to step a foot into the library for good of course,” you shrugged with a lopsided grin and walked away from your lady friends, heading to the boys in the corridor.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry! I told these idiots that you were studying and they should not bother you!” Remus said as soon as he saw your moving figure approaching the door, his arms up in an apologetic gesture.

“That’s okay, Rem. I know their stupidity is uncontrollable,” you chuckled, squeezing the taller boy’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Sirius exclaimed, offended, as he ran a hand through his thick dark locks.

“She’s not lying,” Remus said with a light shrug of his shoulders, pressing his lips together to contain a smile.

“What do you bloody want from me anyway to barge in the library like that?” You winged your brows, specifically scolding James.

“Sorry about that, little one. Madam Pince really needs to learn how to relax,” he frowned, recalling her unpleasant screams. “Anyway, we got ourselves brand new phones and this muggle box you call a laptop and we were wondering if you could help us out with those… things.”

You lifted a brow as you crossed your arms across your chest, “you got phones? And laptops?” You repeated his sentence with a surprised tone of voice.

“That’s what I just said, yes,” James frowned.

“I reckon you saying something like,” you started, raising your hands in the air and mimicking quotes as you tried your best to impersonate James, “’I will never trade my owl and parchments for these bloody muggle things with these annoying noises.’”

“I’ll admit I may have spoken too soon,” he shrugged with a grimace. “Blimey, it’s hard not to surrender to those things when the entire school and even the Professors are using it!”

You gazed at James with an amused look on your face.

“So, will you help us out, love?” Sirius steadied himself on you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and stared at you with puppy eyes.

“I could use the help of these things to improve my studying method and have easier access to books,” Remus said shyly, putting his hands into his pockets.

“I want to try those games the lads have been playing, they’re even talking about doing championships and starting clubs,” Peter’s eyes twinkled as he nodded excitedly.

You heaved a sigh as you looked to the pleading faces of the four Marauders. “Fine, I’ll help you idiots out.”

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You had been helping the Marauders with the muggle technology for a few days now and it wasn’t getting any easier. As wizards born and raised into wizarding families, the boys never had any sort of familiarity with technology nor muggle devices before, which hampered the task in hand considerably. Even Remus, who was unquestionably the cleverest among them, was struggling to learn how to properly use a phone.

Beginning with the smartphone was your idea, because you thought that after they mastered this complex device, learning how to use a laptop would be a piece of cake. You just didn’t imagine that it would be so bloody difficult.

“Wait, wait, and wait!” Sirius interrupted your explanation about the Face ID for the third time with a confused frown as he threw his head back heavily into the back pillow of the Gryffindor Common Room sofa. “How am I supposed to make my face unlock this thing? Will I have to hex it?”

“No, you daft dimbo!” You huffed, annoyed. “I’ll get there if you just stop interrupting me!”

“Sorry, love,” he smirked satisfied at your apparent annoyance, resting his elbows on Remus’ and James’ shoulders. “I’ll admit I have a liking to piss you off; and apparently I accomplish that even when I’m not trying to.”

“You sure do!” You smiled wryly at him, curling your legs on the seat of the stuffed armchair you were occupying, leaning yourself a little in the boys direction. “Anyway, you’ll access your phone settings right… here,” you said, showing them with your phone where to tap. “To register your face, you’ll need to hold your device between 10 and 20 inches away from you. With your face centered in the circle, you’ll move your head around until the scan is complete.”

The boys quickly followed your instructions and registered their faces, finally completing the basic configurations of their phones as they did so, allowing you to start teaching them how to use its apps and download other ones.

“There’s a camera in this? Cool!” Sirius exclaimed excitedly once he unlocked his phone screen. “What?” He added with a smile when you chuckled at his reaction.

“I’ve always thought that if you were a muggle, you’d sort of be an edgy photographer,” you answered with a lopsided grin.

“I could be one to,” James shrugged uninterested. “I’d definitely be edgy.”

“You, James? Come on!” You rolled your eyes, laughing wholeheartedly. “You’d be an annoying influencer jock.”

“A what?” He asked, utterly confused as if you were speaking in another language.

“You’d definitely be an overachiever high school athlete who were not only famous at school but also on the internet,” you winged your brows at him, resting your chin of your fist.

“You’d definitely be like that, mate!” Remus laughed, pointing his index finger at James.

“Yeah? And how would all-mighty Moony be?” James teased, crossing his arms across his chest and bending his head a little so he could playfully stare at his brown-haired friend.

“Rem would be a total hipster!” You shouted excitedly, clapping your hands. “He’d definitely be an outsider to the cultural mainstream, he’d have an online blog where he’d review books and would definitely be vocal about structural issues in the muggle society.”

“Why would he be the coolest among us?” James frowned, a little annoyed.

“Because he already is,” you shrugged, winging your brows.

“I can totally see muggle Moony being like that too,” Peter nodded vaguely from his seat on the arm of the sofa, picturing what you had just said inside his head.

“Can we focus on the tech again?” James said, swinging his phone in the air.

“Yes, we can, you pampered berk,” you answered, the ends of your lips curling up into an amused smirk as you got up of the armchair and motioned to the sofa, squeezing yourself between James and Sirius.

Slowly, you started to explain to them how to use the iMessage service and how to text someone and read the texts you receive. The boys seemed awestruck by the fact that you could get in touch with someone so easily and get an instant response back.

“Wicked! Now I can ask Lily out without putting myself in danger!” James exclaimed excitedly, the blaze that crackled in the fireplace lighting up his features. “Can’t I?”

“Well, she can always block your number, you know…” you frowned mockingly at him, earning amused laughs from Remus, Sirius and Peter.

The four of you teased James for a while before you and the boys got back to the teaching process. An hour or so later, you had already covered all the phone basic apps and they were already familiar with their functions and how to properly use them.

“Now, to the fun stuff!” You announced excitedly. “Let’s introduce you lads to the wonderful world of the trending apps.”

“Are there more?” Sirius widened his eyes as he rested his head on your shoulder.

“Indeed, my dear Black!” You quirked your brows satisfied, tilting your head so you could look him in the eyes. “There are tons of apps you can download to improve your experience, apps that match your likings such as, in your case, dating apps.”

“Dating apps? Can’t you just charm the ladies through texts?” He asked confusedly.

“You sure can, but these apps are basically made for people who want to engage on… knowing someone a little bit better, if you know what I mean,” you chuckled. “With the dating apps you don’t have to ask yourself if the other person is somehow romantically interested in you, because when they swipe right and the match is made, it means the interest is mutual.”

“And how would you know all this?” He asked, lifting his head and smirking mockingly at you. “Y/N L/N, do you use dating apps?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you retorted, blushing furiously. Sirius’ smirk grew wider.

A sudden silence fell among the five of you as you and Sirius stared at each other with narrowed eyes; he holding a teasing look whilst you held a deadly one. James and Remus watched the scene with delighted expressions whilst Peter monotonously scrolled through his phone screen.

“Ahem,” Remus cleared his throat with an amused smile, dragging you and Sirius back to reality. “Are there any good apps to download books and to read them?”

You slowly tilted your head in Remus’ direction and, nodding, started to show him the apps you had on your phone for reading purposes and which ones you thought would fit his needs better. Remus avidly listened to your tips whilst downloading each and every app you had mentioned on his own phone.

The day quickly faded into night as you and the Marauders went on and on about the technologies and its functions and soon, the five of you were the only ones in the now silent Common Room, the light coming from the fireplace and the displays of your phones being the only things shining in the almost complete darkness.

“And done!” James exclaimed, getting up from the sofa and stretching himself. “TikTok is already downloaded and ready to be used! Tomorrow we’ll pull the ‘Dance Like a Hippogriff’ prank and Y/N here will film everything so we can upload the edited video on our TikTok account later.”

“Excuse you?” You frowned, crossing your arms across your chest.

“It’ll be fun, I promise!” He joined his hands pleadingly. “Come on! Please?” He added at the grimace you made.

“Fine!” You rolled your eyes with a smile after a few seconds. “Now I’m going to bed before another brilliant idea pops up into that twat mind of yours."

Saying goodbye to the Marauders, you walked to the stairs that led to the girls’ dormitory and took a quick look over your shoulder. Before you climbed up the stairs, a smile formed on your lips as you saw the four boys talking excitedly and laughing whilst scrolling through their phones.

#au #modern au #imagines #the marauders #the marauders imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 4 years

Text

Before Dawn ~ Pt2~

Hii!! This is part two of my new series. I hope every one of you like it, I'll be tagging the story with it's title so it's easier to find.

Warnings: mentions of attempted murder

@wakatosji I figured I should tag you but if you don't want me to tag you its alright, I don't want to be annoying ❤️

Comfort tea

"Ew?" First goes Lynne. Her face is contorted with a puzzled expression as she lifts her eyebrow to Petra's sudden requiry.

"Well, yeah, kinda" Nanaba shoots a glare to Nifa, as if judging her for her choice of words before she simply brushes the question with waving her hand. Seconding that, as if she knows what you were about to say a few moments before she sets her blue set of eyes on you. A gulp finds its way down your throat as her cold gaze pierces through your body and it's not long until you get the message. The girls' voices echo through your head as if you're listening from afar for you're drunk in your own thoughts.

For instant, you hate the fact that the first time you try to willing open up about a new feeling, you're overshadowed. The urgent need to spill your guts on the subject becomes more prominent by every single minute passing and yet you force yourself to keep it in. You're not about to physically burst your guts like a corpse under the hot summertime sun because of your emotions, so you should be fine if you collect your impatient self.

"Shut up Petra, I'm serious." A playful chuckle leaves Lynne's mouth.

Maybe, it's the fact that Nanaba knows you too well that lifts some weight off of you for now when at the same time she's stopping you from saying something you'll regret. And thus, you bite your lip and reluctantly decide to ignore the throbbing of your own thoughts.

"He handpicked me for his squad!"

:readmore:

Oddly enough you don't feel any jealousy creeping in your system by hearing Petra's words thanks to Nanaba putting you in your place. Even though, you're sadly reminisced of various scenes of your past where you've been in this very position after your mother has barked at you to stay in place you utter not a single word. Your head almost always automatically goes blank so you're not taken aback by your lack of reaction. Whatever Petra says you're sure going to overthink later, when sleep won't be willing to take you for the night.

"Captain really needs someone else in his squad right? Everyone has five members and he has four. (Y/n) why are you even in Mike's team, you could fill this blank right?"

"It's a special operations squad Nifa you dummy! He handpicked everyone!" Petra's adorable bunny smile is directed towards Nifa this time who gives her a cute puckered smirk of approval in return. It's almost too precious of an interaction for you to miss.

"Mike handpicked (y/n), right after me." Nanaba's voice bores casually into conversation while she takes her eyes away from her plate and lands them onto you. "So, what were you about to say?"

"Uhm" Your mind trails back to today's most random event "Henning imitated Tomas after I said good morning and scream 'nice tits (y/n)'. I totally gave him the finger." This simple choice of words helps avoid any unnecessary drama in your girls group. At least you had some dignity not to throw hands over a man anyways.

_____

"Hange stop squishing my cheeks, I can't sit with the higher ups."

"But you did last week!"

"You dragged me!"

Hange's response is only a silent hmf followed by her ever so memorable toothy mischievous grin. She begins taking steps towards you that only increase as one foot follows the other. Despite not being in a playful mood, you decide that running seems to be the best thing to do in the moment to get yourself away from her. If she catches you, she's dragging you with her once again.

Your heart is erratically pounding in your chest as you sprint down the many hallways of the headquarters, out of breath and dizzied by hunger. You reluctantly pause for a second to catch your breath amidst waiting for the inevitable to happen. Devil sure works hard but Hange and her determination work harder, you're reminded of that everyday, you tell yourself, not only when her hand lands onto your shoulder. You mentally punch yourself in the throat for not keeping your body in a better shape.

"I am not letting you starve again, let's go!"

All while during dinner you converse with Mike and Erwin on shortage of hygienic and sanitary products, something that concerns the commander excessively. Soldiers' access to basic necessities is always a top priority in the Scouting Region and commanders are to always tend to their needs. Erwin is and should be no different.

Levi seems to have his mind in your conversation and ignores Hange entirely while she's speaking some Titan nonsense to him. His eyes often widen when Erwin expresses concern on lack of soap and talks about his predictions on its practical annihilation, but it's only what you utter next that grabs his attention enough for him to turn his head in your direction.

"We can make soap. We don't have to keep putting orders for it to be made. I was taught to make soap at home and I'm sure many other girls know."

Silence spreads fast as if a traveling shadow on sunset on the table after you speak. Erwin's batting his eyes in yours, Mike too and Levi looks at you with that usual unamused expression of his. How come they had never thought about that?

Well probably because it wasn't always that there was such shortage in almost fucking everything.

"My office after dinner, cadet." Levi speaks, breaking the silence with his stern sounding voice. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

"Yes sir!" You reply in a heartbeat with a small bow of your head.

Not long after, the distinguishable tone of the curfew bell fills the air, making most soldiers get up from their seats instantly. Levi sits still in his spot as his fellow higher ups bid him with farewells and goodnights to which he replies with casual, nonchalant hums. Upon seeing most of the plebe has left he orders you to stand up and follow him.

He can't help but take a few vague looks of you with the corner of his left eye and he wonders if you do the same from time to time as you march behind him. It doesn't take long for the two of you to reach his quarters, but when you do he takes a stand to unlock the door before proceeding to let you in, him following asuit behind you.

"Here have a seat." He offers unsure of where to point to except for the dark colored loveseat near his desk. "I wanted to know how you even took the knife out of my hands." He watches as your facial expression turns into something along the lines of an almost undetectable disgust and sorrow, your brows forrow and your lips pucker. You couldn't hide it even if you wanted to and maybe the fact that he provoked such reaction from you bit suddenly on his gut and kept chewing on it.

"Just because you were a thug, doesn't mean you're the only one who gets to handle a knife you know." You finally answer, scratching and scrunching your nose in uneasiness. Almost mechanically, the next question comes out of his mouth without remorse.

"Oi what does a brat like you want to do with a knife. You don't strike me as the thug type. You're too uptight for that." A few moments later his gut is going to make him regret ever asking you in the first place.

"Uptight? Ugh, why would you even care, I bet your mother didn't try to murder you in your sleep or with any chance she could."

He grits his teeth inside his mouth and immediately closes his eyes in horror. That horrible feeling of his gut being chewed forms into bits and pieces of wild inner comburst within his organs. Though he cannot phantom what you have been through, he is able of making vivid potential images in his mind that will probably contribute to another sleepless night.

He turns to face you in hopes of being able to mouth anything that could cut through the uneasy tension he's created but at the sight of you he's overthrown. That heart breaking sob that leaves your lips, those thick streams of tears down your cheeks, he won't make it if he keeps looking at you in this condition, all he wants to do is scream, for he's witnessed enough cruelty and damage in this world and it seems that it's never enough. Human bloodlust is never enough.

"I'm s-sorry. I just. Why did I say that?" You faintly utter with uncertainty masking your shaky voice.

"It's fine, as long as you get over it." He definitely despises himself because of that line because in the name of heaven and hell how do you simply ask someone to get over such trauma without sounding like an entitled asshole. The motions that his eyes catch in the dim light of his office are skinny, hard but fragile at the same time and they all hint to you wanting to leave, presumably due to the lack of consolation on his part. He just determined he'll do better. You helped Isabel back on the day so he lets you this one.

"I-I'll excu-"

"Do you have any prefered beverages?"

"M-milk tea" you quietly huff. He's not quite sure whether a drink will ease your boiling pain, but at least he's hoping it'll soothe your current state.

His heart is officially aching with agony and pain that refuses to mellow even a notch, even if he begs to any profoundly selfclaimed wall God. Ever since a year ago he's been living within the heart of crime and downgrade garbage, respected for his violent ways and easily feared for his inhuman skills. In that dirty, shit smelling drain, overpopulated with humans or rats -or probably both, he can't possible distinguish them- who piss in any corner they find, he thought he'd seen any gruesome thing a man can do, but that rough melancholy in your eyes convinces him he's so casually wrong.

"I apologise for bringing such subject up, (y/n), here's your tea. Though due to shortages we don't have any milk." You matter him a word of gratitude as he sets the cup next to you. He'll never let you know, but he notices you're surprised by his actions even in that state you're in.

"She's dead. My mother. She died last month and-" you trail off your words "I guess it's more of me being emotionally chained to my abuser." Levi just pops his head in his palms and sighs deeply at the sound of that but never comes to find the right line up his textureless thoughts should take for him to form a sentence.

"Kinda looks like piss don't you think?"

"Huh?" If he could hear your words correctly and not partially because of the turbulence in his mind he would have thought of an instant smart come back.

"The tea, it looks like piss." At the sound, he barely manages to hold in a chuckle.

He knows yet he manages to only scoff in response. "I had to tremendously water it down, be mindful." He opts to suggest always in that bland tone of his.

"Do other people except from us drink it like that?"

"I desperately want to doubt that anyone cares to provide for your golden shower enthusiasm, so no. This is some of my personal stash."

The two of you enjoy your comfort tea in sheer silence. Levi can't take his eyes off of you, not that he's trying to, but he tries to convince himself it's only because you've verbally shared your trauma with him. In return, for some of his, he didn't have to share, you were there to see Isabel's head laying on the blood stained grass with Farlans upper body accompanying it. He wants to speak up, but his mouth is seldomly never in a place to voice out the exact thoughts in his head, so even if he tells you about Kenny and his childhood you never get to hear it. In addition, he's not the one to try and overshadow somebody who speaks about themselves by sharing his experience so the comfortable silence that has sprawled in the whole of his office is more than enough.

______

Here's the deal. Henning likes Lynne, Lynne likes Tomas, Tomas likes you and you like Captain Levi, not that hard to grasp right? As long as no one neglects their soldier duties everything is fine.

It's a plain sunny Sunday in the Survey Corps headquarters. Mike is on a day out, perhaps strolling around the city of Trost in chance of finding any merchant to provide for soldiers necessities, while you're assigned with cleaning his office.

Levi is standing at the doorframe, back pressed upon it with his hands crossed over his chest as he supervises the six of you go. He promised the blond squad leader to keep an eye on his team seeing that things would get heated up pretty easily nowadays, ending up in heated arguments most of the time as well.

Every time his eyes meet yours you avert your gaze away, specifically to the floor you're set on scrubbing until your hands bleed. He can't help but notice it. Small little movements of awkwardness from his part make you tense even if you're oblivious to his awareness of the fact.

"Tch" He tries his best to shake you off the territory you're occupying in his mind. It's not right for him to endulge in something frowned upon after having just received a position as a high rank. That's not his purpose here. Emotions should never color your judgement in battlefield.

"I'm taking a break." You call to the others as you stand from your kneeling position. You pat your hands dry on the sides of your hips and you hope Levi doesn't notice, because you won't see the end of this.

"I'm coming with you! Wait for me." Tomas announces and you respond a soft 'sure' along with a warm smile. "Ah God, I'm so thirsty!" The two of you walk past Levi at the door, but you never spare him a look, in fact you're too invested in your small talk with Tomas to even ask for permission to excuse yourselves.

"Love birds, huh Nanaba?" Gelgar elbows the blonde with puckered his lips, a ridiculous expression plastered on his face. "I wonder how long until we get the good news-"

"Gelgar just shut up."

"What Lynne? Poor Tomas might finally get his chance with the kid."

Lynne loves you and your group of friends deeply. She and Nanaba are probably the big sisters of the group. They've stuck with you, Nifa and Petra through thick and thin, through bloodshed and tragedy, so she's not mad at you for having caught Tomas' attention. With your melancholic youthful face, (h/c) hair that blows softly in the wind, with the way you pucker your lips when you're determined or angry. She's probably mad at herself for never acting on that cadet trainee crush she had on Tomas. She sets her mind on recovering quickly from it.

Despite opening her mouth to speak, she notices it's not her voice that's heard, but in fact it's a deeper, almost nasal one.

"Set to work, tch, don't waste your energy on royal teenage drama."

"Sir! Yessir!"

Irritated, Levi bites the inside of his cheek, without ever changing the look in his eyes. You were kind and behaved well mannered to everyone, that was all. That was was led you to act nice to Isabel and what led her to speak highly of you to him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"It's alright! Get up" with your eyes shut, you smile at the redhead who's sprawled across the grass while holding out your hand to her. Isabel smiles back and she proceeds to take your hand, taking another chance to spare with you again.

For a few nights she won't shut up about you. How you don't look down on her like other girls do, how you iron her clothes just like her big bro does.

"I'm going to miss her when were free of here, Farlan!" The red head takes a bite of her bread and munches softly on it. Before she even has a chance to speak another word she feels a hand ruffle her hair but notices that Levi's hands are concentrated on the simple task of feeding food in his mouth. She spares you a heart warming smile and wave but you fail to reciprocate as your friends gesture you to sit.

"You're gonna make me miss her too and I don't even know her." Farlan says and places a hand at the top of his head, scratching a soft spot.

"Ahh, big bro! Can we kidnap her!"

"We're not kidnapping anyone. We need to focus on our mission alright Isabel?"

Isabel shushes at this but doesn't fail to shoot you a glare. And this time you respond with a wave. Whatever you lack in word choosing skills you make up for kind acts. She wishes they kidnap you, she needs a female friend anyways.

Hey you there, yes you, thanks for taking time and reading this, I appreciate it more than I can express. If you want to see me write something for you make sure to leave a request in my askbox! Any comments on how you're enjoying the story are also very appreciated. Much love until next time 💕

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howlingmoonrise · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on Petshop of Horrors: Wandering Ark volume 3

(crossposted from dreamwidth)

me realizing a whole-ass 25 pages of the last volume of the papa series are just sensei's travel logs:

what did i do to deserve this, honestly? sensei i love you and all but THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO COVER ABOUT PAPA. AND YOU DIDN'T TOUCH THEM. AT ALL.

To start with, there's only two actual chapters in the volume, keeping in line with the previous volumes. A whooping total of 103 pages out of a 128 page manga - except, a good portion of one of them is pretty much just rehashing the events of the last volume of the original manga, so it's not exactly like they're overflowing with juicy new content. Vesca and Victor fans will be pleased at a new glimpse of them both though, with emphasis on Vesca.

Oh, you wanted an explanation for the ark? For why Papa was going around supposedly through "space and time", with a reason other than "well, I wanted to draw stuff from other eras but I don't want to write a whole new manga with a D from back then"? There's none. N-O-N-E. Zilch. Zip. Nada. Niente. Nothing about his relationship with Sofu (though they do briefly meet on Victor's funeral - and wow, am I surprised Sofu deigned to show considering how much he loves humankind), nothing about D or Papa's relationship with him beyond an outsider's point of view on the events of the last manga, nothing about the D species in general or glimpses at previous Ds that were likely alive before our D came into being.

Another bad point: what the hell was up with the cover art?

The top portion of it is fine, but why does the rest of it look like whoever painted it forgot how to shade things? Look at that belt. Look at those sleeves. That's all I have to say on this subject.

On to the chapters themselves!

First chapter:

Papa D helps with The Bachelor. No, really. It's literally a Bachelor-style show, recorded for TV, with one single man and twenty ladies competing to become his wife. Trigger warning for almost-rape in this chapter.

I'll be honest, I liked the main character for this chapter. She's a go-getter, and a survivalist, and prefers stuffing her face with food instead of flirting away the night. Honestly? Mood. I really liked the butler too. I was going on a "oh, is he going to be the actual love interest?" line of thought since he looked interesting, and then went "nah, they're not focusing on him at all beyond that one (1) scene where they were dancing, guess he's just a side character after all", only for him to actually turn out to be the final love interest. That was. Hm. To say that it was majorly underdeveloped is to put it lightly, but the "prince" wasn't great either. The attempted rape felt as if it was shoved in because they were running out of pages though, since the rest of what we saw from his personality seemed a lot mellower than that.

The ?prostitutes? were an unexpected bright spot, even though they only showed up for a couple of panels, but it was nice that they gave her food (however dismissively) and tried to get the other guy to leave her alone, and that they were simply described as "beautiful" instead of anything else.

OH BUT. Papa hitting the would-be rapist over the head with an oar was great, it actually gave a bit more dimension to him since the Ds are usually so unwilling to dirty their own hands when it comes to violent business: at most they would usually let their pets do the work for them.

Which actually brings me to another question.

I've already said before that Papa is at most a side character on his own series, and that he actually barely gets involved at all apart from a few nudges here and there - but it's kind of jarring that he almost never "sells" a pet in this series. On all volumes including this one, there are only two chapters where he gives away a pet that was already with him and that didn't initially belong to someone else that he was just returning: the dogs from the Austria chapter, and the bird from Empress one (who was actually said to be given by Sofu, but I'm calling bullshit since he had long hair and this is supposedly a time-travelling ark). It's definitely a weird choice for a manga whose title is, quite literally, "Petshop of Horrors".

Also, for a FLYING ark there sure seem to be a lot of water-related incidents.

Thoughts on the family thing down on the general thoughts section. Also, WHY IS IT AN OAR AGAIN? WHERE DID THE BUTLER FIND AN OAR, SINCE IT SEEMED LIKE IT WASN'T PAPA LENDING IT TO HIM? I can't say the penguin thing was a huge twist considering previous chapters, but it makes me wonder that so many of Papa's stories are directly about either humans or animals, but rarely the conjunction of both apart from brief exceptions.

Second chapter: Nice callback to the original PSoH on the first page: I'm extremely fond of that description of the Ds, and it's fitting for a final chapter of a PSoH series.

This chapter is a cameo for Victor (from the Sofu series which I haven't read yet but know some things about), and a full appearance for Vesca. Victor seems to have chosen the same path as Leon, though arguably he'd actually have the money for it since he's a baron. Travelling the world following rumours and sightings, in search of someone they considered to be dear to them? Sign all three of these blonds up, because it seems to be a tradition at this point. The Ds really have a type, huh? Truth be told, from what I heard of Victor I didn't think he'd be the adventure-seeking sort, so this was a bit of a surprise. He looks cute and happy piloting planes and running from rhinos so I guess that's all that matters though.

BUT WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE POOR. He looks like a huge cinnamon roll so I feel super bad for him, I bet they all resented the money he spent trying to chase Sofu D across the globe once the Great Depression hit :/

And then, bam! Sofu cameo. This is the chapter where EVERYONE gets a cameo, copy-paste of the last chapter of OG PSoH or otherwise. He's cryptic as usual, and I REALLY didn't expect him to remember Victor's name, much less show up to his funeral. Not that he even looks like he's grieving; he pretty much only speaks of Hitler and Eva Braun's kirin, to Papa's seemingly frowning disapproval (I haven't complained about the round art style on this volume's commentary yet so consider this to be it: the only reason why Papa even looks put out is because he has a Very Clear Frowny Line, because otherwise he just looks normal... and round).

And then finally, some actual Papa content! Or, er, Vesca content. Both. Let's go with both. I don't want to make myself sad thinking about how little we saw of Papa on his own series. Here we see once again mentions of extinction and of resurrecting species, and finally a throwback to why the ark is an ark: "Noah's Ark". It took me RNS' translations of OG PSoH to understand the reference back on the original, because on Tokyopop's mangled translation the ark is merely a flying boat.

It's nice to see that Vesca has a strong sense of justice similar to my dear boy Leon Orcot, since it was a bit iffy on the original manga. He's righteous (and right!) about the other Professor using Papa's research, and how Papa should have the benefits of it for himself since he was the one doing the studies. Papa, however, cares little about money or glory: even now his focus is on recovering the blind bird species from their trip to Greece (see: Shin PSoH), and here we see once again his hopeful view that one day he may be able to help them see again. Parallel to his own family much? Honestly, I feel for him.

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE SHOOTING PAPA? At this point he's trying to reach for Leon's record - and failing, because Leon gets shot and mauled a frankly unholy amount of times during the original PSoH, so no one else can ever really compare. What really breaks my heart here is that he actually asks why. Sofu and D would both have simply taken it for granted, but Papa (seemingly, up until this point) doesn't automatically assume the worst of every human being he comes across. That pained why kills me a little bit, here, and soon after he grows cold and allows the more murderous side of that contract to go loose.

That page with Vesca going into the FBI really throws me back to the panels on the original PSoH right before/right when Leon decides to chase after D. Part of the background is blank, the other part a faint image of the city and Chinatown, with a sense of detachment associated with them. I could probably take the time to place them side by side and compare fully, but uh. I may or may not be stretching my workday bedtime a little too much to finish writing this, oops.

Also, an echo to the original PSoH with Papa's death, called back with him nearly being shot in the middle of the forehead. The actual event is brought in shortly after Vesca gets to mind-rant about the Ds and his search for a few pages, and then flashback flashforward time! A whole six pages which are just portions of OG PSoH's last chapter redrawn from another angle. It's implied that Vesca was able to board the ark like Leon did due to a similar scene with lying in the clouds and sighting the ship amidst them, though whether he was able to stay or not is a whole new story. This is where the actual story ends.

Sensei's travel logs: I'm not going to bother going into these. It was nice to see some glimpses of my son (forever a Leon stan here!) and a cameo for Taizuu also showed up a little later on if you're one of the people who liked him (personally, I would trade Taizuu in for a cornchip and a ball of lint). I'm going to make the executive choice of pretending that the D/Leon bits are what's actually happening right now after Leon caught up to D. It's lovely to see them on vacations, and Leon has mellowed out a little bit while D seems extremely comfortable and content with his favourite ex-detective's presence =v=

General thoughts: All the series so far seem to have some sort of theme, which kind of ties into the main character of it and their own arc. The original PSoH, for one, was focused a lot on family and greed and love and desire: our D, similarly, had plenty of unresolved issues surrounding his bloodline and things that he wanted but that he couldn't/was not allowed to have because of that very blood.

You'll have to forgive me if my interpretation of Shin is spotty since I only read around half of it (online scans only went up to volume 6 or so, physical versions of the Tokyopop translations were discontinued, and ruthlessnightsscans started scanlating it after I’d already read the available chapters for Shin), but from what I remember of it it seemed to bring in softer, more loving and lighthearted stories, usually tied around romance and being kept apart from things they want/love. The two non-Leon chapters that immediately spring to mind are the Romeo and Juliet Mafia AU, and the one where the lady got pregnant from her dead husband and was able to live on due to that renewed hope. D himself seems to have turned a new page: he hangs around humans on his leisure time (bless those drag queens), takes a vested interest in happy endings for others even if not for himself, and seems overall less inclined towards gruesome murder.

(You'll have to forgive me, but I actually haven't read the Sofu series at all yet so I can't analyse that one. I wasn't even aware RNS had scanlated it until recently, but then again I hold a lot of rage against that slimy bastard (Sofu, not RNS, RNS are baby) and so I'm putting it off indefinitely. Oops?)

And then there's this one. It's probably no coincidence that so many of the stories are about reproduction and birth and continuing a dying species: this is something that chases Papa all the way from his college days not even considering his childhood, which we don't actually don't know about but can make an educated guess at down to his issues with his son and the faint madness of his last years. Even his death plays into this theme, with it ultimately working as an way to keep the D line alive. It makes me think that Papa being kept from his position as a main character in his own series might actually be somewhat purposeful, though the decaying quality of the latest PSoH mangas makes me think this is not the case. I'll have to read the Sofu series to make a better judgement on this, depending on whether or not Sofu is or is not treated similarly.

Another theme: being haunted by the dead. I think this is actually present on almost every chapter of the Wandering Ark series, though we may disagree on the levels on which it was shown and how easily it is or is not divorced by my previous point. A reader that reads this series on its own will likely find Papa a very bland character and will not grasp onto the nuances of these themes and how they are connected to him, IMO. These conclusions and these hypothesis are drawn by virtue of the first manga alone; it's because of it that we're aware of how Papa himself lives for the species who are long gone, his own kind included. Most of the characters on Wandering Ark push through the suffering and the sorrow of their dead to go beyond their limits and become greater and independent, which is another parallel to Papa since he's the only one of the Ds who has an objective beyond simple (and inefficient) vengeance.

Overall, there's little else I can say that I haven't said already, either here or on my previous post for the first two volumes of the Wandering Ark series. There's a real sense of isolation and detachment on Papa's side (though he seems more benevolent than the other two Ds were), but as I said I'm not sure if it's meant to be purposeful or not, though Sensei's choice to not give him an actual companion thorough his series is also telling. The pacing was also better than in the first chapters of this series, though there was that issue with the ending of the first chapter of this volume. I also still can't say this enough, but it's really strange that Papa is such a side character on his own series??

Final thoughts: we were robbed.

At least Sensei hinted that her journey with the Ds might not be over yet, though if we get another Sofu manga I can and I will riot.

#petshop of horrors #pet shop of horrors #papa d #wandering ark #drifting ark #hyouhaku no hakobune hen #petshop of horrors hyouhaku #psoh wandering ark #psoh #howl rambles a lot

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close-to-levi-heichou-sir · 4 years

Text

Levi Ackerman’s Anchor Chapter 3

When Isabelle heard the sound of something banging on one of the windows, she immediately woke up fearing the worst. Captain Levi was already awake and the girl realized her head was resting on his shoulder. Did she fall asleep like this?

Isabelle instantly pulled away from him. He was a mere stranger after all. She couldn't remember how the night had ended. The girl looked at him - the expression on Levi's face didn't change - he seemed annoyed. Did he always look so desperately bored with everything?

His attention was focused on the three scouts who were banging on the window, waving at him and yelling his name with excitement. One of them was a girl with short light brown hair. She was blushing.

"Captain, I can't believe we found you," she screamed. "We though you were dead!"

Levi snorted, "Tcch, I honestly wish I were dead right now. It took you almost a day to find me?"

All three of the scouts suddenly froze and pointed their eyes at the ground. They looked embarrassed as if they were some students scolded by their teacher.

"Petra," said Levi, breaking the silence, "Where are the titans?"

The girl's face turned all red. She was looking straight at him and Isabelle could tell she was extremely frightened.

"About that, captain," Petra mumbled. "We saw that a lot of them were gathered around this house, so while trying to clear out the street some heavy objects blocked your way out. We need several hours to clean the mess..."

The captain raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "And I can't get out through one of the windows?"

Isabelle instantly jumped, "Oh, hell no! Your leg is going to rip open. You'll either bleed to death or have a terrible infection."

"I am starting to dislike you a lot", he hissed at her. "Very well then, you heard Mrs Know-It-All. I guess I'll have to die of boredom here."

Petra and the scouts nodded. Isabelle looked at the girl. Her lips were pressed together in a firm line. She seemed... jealous. But why? Isabelle didn't even know Levi up until several hours ago. Why did this unknown girl look so angry? Was she his girlfriend?

"So, um... did you sleep well?" asked Isabelle. She was trying to break the awkward silence. They had such an amazing chat last night. What had happened? Was it because she had fallen asleep on his shoulder?

"I don't sleep much. You, on the other hand, snore like a dying animal. And my back is all stiff from not moving all night long," he sighed.

Isabelle shook her head in disbelief.

"First of all, I don't snore! And secondly, why didn't you move all night long? Do you have another injury I don't know about?!"

A smirk showed on Levi's face.

"I didn't want to wake you up. You were sleeping so peacefully on me."

The girl blushed. Apparently she had been more tired last night than she had realized. She must have fallen asleep amidst their conversation. Is that why he seemed so annoyed?

"You should've just woken me up. I am not a little girl," she exclaimed.

"It actually felt nice," he smiled.

His blue eyes were staring at her as if he was enjoying her presence.

Isabelle felt uncomfortable. There was no denying that this was the captain Levi Ackerman himself. And yet, she had never considered herself beautiful. She felt embarrassed that someone so perfect might look at her and find her attractive. But did he actually come to like her or was this all just Isabelle's imagination? Maybe deep down she herself wished he might like her.

Maybe she was starting to like him...

"You know," he began, "Even though you are an annoying brat sometimes, your house is spotless. I like that."

Isabelle laughed, "Yeah, I kinda have an obsession with everything being clean at all times."

"Hah," he exclaimed in delight, "Me, too."

________________________________________________________________________________

Hours had passed since they last saw Petra and the other scouts.

Levi and Isabelle were quietly drinking tea in the kitchen when they heard the girl's voice, " Captain! It's all clear! You can finally come out now."

Isabelle glanced at the captain. She was surprised to see that he looked disappointed. It seems he was enjoying the peace and quiet. Maybe that's what he really needed after all. A break from all the death and horror.

"Well, uhm," he began, "I guess this is where we part our ways. Thank you for... Well, saving my life. Few people would have done it in your place."

Isabelle suddenly felt extreme sadness embracing her. She was left alone again, since there was no trace of her parents. It had been days. Her hopes were everything but high at this point.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm sure anyone would do it," she smiled with a bit of sorrow in her eyes. "I'd do it again if I must. It was nice meeting you. Good luck with... well, everything."

Levi nodded and turned around following his squad. He had seen the sadness in her eyes. The captain hated weakness. He despised when people's happiness depended on him, because he never really committed to anyone. All he was ever dedicated to was... well, killing titans.

And yet, he couldn't help but feel... weird. Was it sadness? It felt more like melancholy - as if all of a sudden he remembered a place that was dear to him, close to the heart, safe. As if he remembered a face he hadn't seen in a long time, yet brought comfort and made him feel secure.

Every step away from Isabelle felt hard and heavy to make.

"Isabelle, wait," she heard him say.

Levi turned around and rushed towards her, "I honestly don't know what I'm doing."

She looked at him with a confused expression on her face.

"I, ugh," he began. Apparently, I happen to like your annoying and obsessive cleaning personality, but I'm so bad at this that-

"You what?" she asked him still looking quite perplexed.

"Just be safe, okay?" he signed and started walking away from her again.

"I... will..." she signed in response. I happen to like your constantly bored and annoyed face.

________________________________________________________________________________

Three months had passed since Isabelle last saw captain Levi and quite frankly she had almost forgotten about him. What was mostly concerning her was the fact that her parents were missing and were probably long gone.

People were gathering in the center of the Shiganshina district. The stationary troops had called every citizen out in order to inform them about the casualties in the past several months.

Isabelle was standing in the middle of the square, surrounded by people. For the first time ever she almost felt something different from alone. She saw how several scouts joined the troops at the tribune. Among them was captain Levi, but he didn't see her.

Isabelle felt piercing pain in her stomach once she saw him - was that... butterflies? A member of the stationary troops started reading a list of all the deceased they had found. Among the names were unfortunately the ones of her parents.

She put her hand on her mouth and fell onto her knees. Isabelle couldn't believe what she was hearing. Suddenly a loud roar was heard from the south which caused a great commotion around her. People started screaming and running. They were pushing her, but she couldn't move.

Apparently, a titan had made a small breach in the wall and was now advancing with several of its friends towards the town square. People were absolutely freaked out. Scouts and troops were trying to control the situation, but everything had turned into chaos.

Rain started pouring down Isabelle's face. She couldn't see, hear, nor feel anything but pain. She felt as dead as a living person could possibly feel. Nothing mattered. The titans were approaching her.

"ISABELLE," she heard someone shout her name.

The girl felt two hands grab her shoulders. They started shaking her whole body.

"ISABELLE, LISTEN TO ME," she heard the voice again. "I NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE!"

It was Levi. He had heard the names of her parents (Isabelle told him about them during that first night) and immediately started looking for her in the crowd. He quickly found her and didn't took his eyes off of her until the titans appeared.

"They're gone, Levi, there's no point," she cried, but he shook her even harder.

"DON'T BE STUPID, JUST GRAB MY HAND, LET'S GO!" he yelled again, but she didn't move. "Alright then, you little brat, I'm sick of you."

Levi grabbed her by the waist and used his ODM gear to fly away from the square. He quickly took her to a big abandoned building nearby where scouts were gathering and left her there.

"You look after her, you hear me? She isn't herself right now!" he shouted at the scouts and a girl instantly grabbed Isabelle by the hand and led her to a nearby chair.

Eren, Armin and Mikasa nodded.

"I'll make sure she's okay," said Eren.

Levi ran to Isabelle and stood on one knee. He was panting, "Isabelle, live for me, okay? I forbid you to die!"

She suddenly woke up from the trance she had fallen into.

"Levi, please, don't leave me again. I'm all alone in this world," she cried.

"I'm here. I promise," he said and kissed her hand. "I'm right here."

#attack on titan #aot #the attack titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #hajime isayama #mikasa ackerman #ackerman #levi #levi heichou #heichou #levi ackerman #manga #fanfiction #fanfic #anime #eren jaeger

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newagesispage · 4 years

Text

JUNE 2020

PAGE RIB

FX and Ryan Murphy will bring us season 10 of American Horror Story next year. The cast includes Mac Culkin, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Evan peters, Billie Lourd, Lily Rabe and Finn Wittrock. There will also be a spinoff called, wait for it, American Horror Stories. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Reno 911 is back

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I happen to have a clementine in my butt. –Jimmy Kimmel

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NASA got their dragon launch. It is unfortunate that they had to compete with the current cycle.

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Sam Springsteen (son of Patti and Bruce) has been sworn in as a Jersey City firefighter.

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Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood is great. I don’t know how to feel about the fast and the loose and the nice made up endings like Once upon a time in Hollywood. Will this be a trend??** Another great one on Netflix is, Have a good trip.

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Are there biopics in the works for Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees and Bowie?? That is the word.

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Days alert: Look for Lani to become pregnant. Eli and Justin are both thinking marriage. Claire is back which will bring Shawn and Belle back. Gabi may be kidnapped. Word is that July will have a wedding every week that will lead to a funeral. Allie Horton is all grown up and heading back with a secret. Will she be like Mom, Sami?? Brady thinks that ruining Titan will get back at Victor. Sonny and Will may get a chance at another child. Eve may be back later in the summer. And, C’mon Xander, do something wonderful to get your woman back. Lucas may be on the way back and Orpheus is leaving. ** Judi Evans (Adrienne) had a serious horseback riding accident on May 16. She had broken ribs, a collapsed lung and 2 chipped vertebrae. The good news was in the hospital they discovered a blood clot so the whole thing saved her life.

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Morton Buildings is being sued by 2 women for harassment and discrimination. One incident claims an employee said, “God created women by lining up all the men and castrating the stupid ones.” Another lawsuit was filed in 2009.**Thanks for the tip, Di.

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If you expect elementary school children to endure the trauma of active shooter drills for your freedoms, you can wear a mask to Costco. –Sara Elizabeth Dill

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House republicans have sued Pelosi to block proxy voting.

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Seth Rogan, Steve Carell and Ben Schwartz are donating funds to bailout Minneapolis protestors after the death of George Floyd.** The country has been turned upside down as another cop kills another black man. No need to rehash, we have all seen it. I wonder if those four horrible cops are proud of what they have done to their city. Could we finally have a tipping point in this time when racism is spotlighted with our racist President? After many incidents in just the past couple of weeks and everyone on edge with coronavirus, it has boiled over. Scary Clown threatens to start shooting as Minneapolis burns down. Burn down a police station, get a cop arrested (finally)? Seems worth it to me. The way the killer looked into the camera as if he was just so proud is gonna stick with us as it should. ** A CNN crew were arrested live on the air but released later after Jeff Zucker spoke to Gov. Walz.** Liberate Minnesota was the Trump tweet, well, they are working on it.** I am hearing people saying in all sincerity lately that it is time for the humans to go, we are ruining each other and the planet.

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If you have not seen the Killer Mike speech from Atlanta, you need to check it out.** Netflix, Hulu and Paramount are taking a stand and showing support for the Black lives matter movement.

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John Cusack put out video of police coming at him with batons and pepper sprayed him as he protested in Chicago. More than 1000 were arrested and it continues.** In Flint, Sheriff Chris Swanson and other police put down helmets and joined the protestors. Police in Schenectady took a knee and joined the march. The behavior is spreading and look what a difference it makes, could they be starting to get it?

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Never thought I’d say this but in light of everything that is happening, the DNC made a big mistake in not backing Berne Sanders. –Pete Buttigieg ** Ok, first, of course he is right but you helped set this all in motion. It is a bit late for that …or is it? Biden is not the OFFICIAL nom, the deal is not done yet. Will Bernie jump back in the race?? Perhaps we will soon see BERNE FOR PRESIDENT again.

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American carnage was a self -fulfilling prophecy, alas. –Susan Glasser

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Scary Clown 45 has designated Antifa a terrorist organization. ** There is no legal authority for designating a domestic group, any such designation would raise significant concerns. –ACLU

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In any season, police violence is an injustice, but its harm is elevated amidst the remarkable stress people are facing amidst covid-19. Even now, there is evidence of excessive police initiated force and unwarranted shootings of civilians, some of which have been fatal. –American Medical Association.

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Washington Week had a great discussion about how all the ills in US history have played out in 2020. Impeachment, pandemic, depression and civil unrest are all here at once.

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Word is that Trevor Noah has been proven much more popular than the other late night hosts since they have been at home.

*****

I predict the picture of the upside down flag with the backdrop of the burning liquor store will be the lasting image of the Trump Presidency.

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This is the Presidency George Wallace never had. –Max Boot

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Spanish flu, Polio, Aids, Covid-19: Why don’t people get any smarter? The masses (and sometimes those in charge) can get it wrong over and over again. From Dr.? Phil and Dr Oz and their cavalier attitude toward death to Rosie wanting her son to take a leave of absence from the grocery store, we just do not learn. Even before that, I can’t forget the woman who wanted to change her vote after she found out Buttigieg was married to a man. Is she even a dem? Do your research people! Respect others, people!! Have compassion, stop being so selfish and use your brains!!** Puerto Rico was a pre curser to the pandemic response.

*****

Amy Cooper Chris Cooper? WTF? Another liberal who is not really liberal.

*****

Crime in general is down and police shootings are up. And yes, now the opportunists are out of control and anger is boiling over but protests against police brutality causing police brutality is WRONG!

*****

Check out the book, What makes a marriage last, from Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

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Ben Taub, Barry Blitt and Colson Whitehead have won the Pulitzer Prize.

*****

Word is that Nick Cage will play Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame. Of course he will.

*****

I refuse to wear a mask because God did not have us born with one.- Nino Vitali** How many people have you heard say, “The President isn’t wearing a mask, so I don’t have to.”

*****

It looks like Apple will partner with Paramount for Scorsese’s adaptation of Killers of the Flower Moon.

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Oh my: Scary Clown is having a twitter feud with twitter! He has to, of course, lash out and now signs an executive order targeting social media. He is going on about section 230 which gives immunity to social media companies against being sued over content. It could curb liability protection. Experts say it will only encourage lawsuits because he does not want to be edited.

*****

If Native American tribes were counted as states, the five most infected states in the US would all be native tribes. –Nicholas Kristof

*****

Did ya see that Jeff Epstein doc from James Patterson. It is lays blame in all directions. Why does it seem like all these old guys on there with all that money have such yellow teeth?

*****

Lindsey Graham is urging Federal judges in their mid to late 60’s to step down so they can fill the spots with republicans.

*****

Richard McGuire tried to live at Disney World in a zoological park that was closed down.

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Caterpillar, Levi, Black and Decker and others have cut jobs but gave millions to shareholders.

*****

Axl Rose and Steve Mnuchin had a twitter feud.

*****

China announced plans to introduce a National Security law in Hong Kong. The law enables mainland Chinese National security agencies to operate in the city for the first time. Using a rarely used constitutional method, they bypassed Hong Kong legislature. Since the former British colony became a semi-autonomous region of China more than 20 years ago, they have manages its own affairs. The law will affect media, education, politics and international business. Many acts will now be criminalized. Hong Kong is party to international treaties guaranteeing civil liberties that China is not. The U.S. is urging Bejing to reconsider. Pro- democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong were tear gassed as they yelled, “Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

*****

The Michael Flynn charges were dropped.

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Holyoke soldier’s home in Massachusetts lost 70 souls to Coronavirus. AP photographer David Goldman got a projector and cast big pictures the vets onto the homes of loved ones. Each one had a story including one vet who was sent to Nuremberg to guard Nazis. He claimed to have filled Hermann Goring’s glass with toilet water.

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The swimming Dinosaur, Spinosaurus has been getting a lot of attention. The Sahara desert which was once massive rivers kept the first intact aquatic dinosaur. With a snout, teeth and jaw like a croc, it is so far the only known kind of dinosaur that lived in the water. The 50 foot long bizarre fin-like tail is like a giant paddle. Paleontologists encourage others to have a look at other fossils to see if there are more.

*****

Octavia Spencer is said to have been telling everyone she is a year younger than she is. She is turning 50.

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The $69 million ventilator scam. Really? The White House heard from a guy who told them he could supply the product so the WH told NY to order them and stood behind the guy but it was a scam. Scary Clown sure loves his shady people, intentional or not.** A Florida woman, Rebecca Jones claims that she was asked to fudge the numbers to make reopening look better. ** Georgia moved their dates around on a graph to make their cases seem flattened. ** For 17 months, Florida investigated voter fraud for Trump and Gov. Scott. They found NOTHING!!

*****

Amazon stock price is up 25% yet they have become notorious for the terrible way they treat their workers. Bezos is set to become a trillionaire.

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We have to remember that order comes from chaos. True enhancements can come from large scale crisis. What will we learn from this one? This is a warning!!** Universal health care? No more buffets? ** Prices will probably go up everywhere what with the closings and all the extra cleaning. I hope this means that hotel bedspreads will be cleaned after every stay. It looks like there may be no cocktails or food on planes.

*****

Take a virtual tour of the statue of liberty. All the fun without all the swaying.

*****

Local PBS stations are making it easier to learn. Students will be able to put on a channel for lessons that does not need cable or internet. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Insiders say that Trump threatened to sue his campaign manager because he did not agree with his assessment and the poll numbers in a 2 day rant.** Just one more example of Scary Clown double talk. Then: Less testing, less positives. Now: So much testing is a badge of honor.**Doctors without Borders are now here, not the third world countries that they usually help, it is US.

*****

Haven’t we had enough of powerful men being accused? A female Dem candidate would have been nice and Bernie did not seem to have any baggage that way either.

*****

Will the Senate see fit to ok some more stimulus $? 4 trillion to prop up Wall Street seems per the usual. Enough for them, let’s take care of those small businesses and those really in need.

*****

Thao and the get down stay down is one of the best in this internet entertainment era.

*****

Check out Stars in the House with Tony Shalhoub and others.

*****

The Detectorists on Acorn TV is a great little show!!

*****

Happy Day! There is a new season of At Home with Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

It looks like Pier 1 will permanently close as well as JC Penney, J Crew, Sears and Neiman Marcus.

*****

Check out the wonderful, This is about Humanity!!

*****

Have U seen the trailer for The King of Staten Island?? OMG Pete Davidson, Steve Buschemi and Marisa Tomei , just to name a few!! I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Bill Maher looked really high on his 5-22-20 show. This working from home makes him much more mellow!!

*****

3 Russian doctors treating coronavirus have fallen out of windows in about a weeks time.** Russia boasts that it has more ventilators per capita than the U.S. After they made fun of us, on May 22, the first shipment of U.S. ventilators headed to Russia. They are a gift from Trump and the U.S. taxpayers. –Julia Davis

*****

State Department Inspector General Steve Linick is out. Was he investigating Pompeo? Trump never knows anything about any of it. Why are all the protectors of the rule of law thrown out? ** Was Pompeo throwing lavish foreign policy dinners with Reba, Dale Jr. and the owners of that horrid chicken sandwich place? ** The clean water rule has been suspended which cuts protections for most of the country’s wetlands.

*****

The market facilitation program has been helping small farmers over the last few years in a $28 billion bailout. Trump’s sanctions brought this on and the corona virus has made it worse. Mostly the money has helped bankers and bigger farms. Much like the stimulus $ that was earmarked for small business, there are loopholes that screw up the ‘rules.’ The cap is not being followed like they may say because the $ is going to “investors” in the farm and often not the actual farmer who works on a smaller scale. A small farm run by family members may not get the bailout. It seems to be more important to get a good lawyer who can manipulate the paperwork. Sad that taxpayer $ is used this way.

*****

Just in time, the Space Force flag and plans for the super duper missile have been unveiled. WTF??

*****

Paula Poundstone is a woman I knew I liked. She was recently talking about not liking couches. I thought I was the only one, People are always telling me how much they love their couches and I don’t get it.

*****

Jeff Gibbs and Michael Moore are upset after Youtube pulled their doc, Planet of the Humans. After 8.3 million views, there was a copyright claim by Toby Smith of about 4 seconds of footage. Now , this is not the first time that Moore has had problems with content in one of his movies. Many have claimed there is a lot of fiction in this latest venture. I think I would just remove the possible copyright infringement and move on. It can now be seen on Vimeo.

A Florida law that restricts felon voting is found unconstitutional by a federal judge.** The RNC filed a lawsuit against California to stop mailing ballots to registered voters.

*****

R.I.P. Little Richard, Roy Horn, Jerry Stiller, Sam Lloyd, Ann Sullivan, Mike Cogswell, Michael Keenan, Shirley Knight, Irrfan Khan, Hana Kimura, Forrest Compton, Jimmy Cobb, George Floyd, Ken Osmomd, all the corona victims, Lynn Shelton, Richard Herd, Larry Kramer, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Anthony James, Fred Willard and Carolyn Busch.

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footbaliimagines · 5 years

Text

New Years Kiss (a Jesse Lingard imagine)

Hello!!!!!! It is me, returned from the dead (I can’t find the gif but insert the bitch thought u saw the last of me gif from American horror story gif here)

Idk what this is really these bits and bobs are NOT chronological they are just like fragments if that makes sense?? So even though the 3 words bit is when they were together its like a ***flashback*** but I wasnt sure how to make that v clear also the chapters are like numbers counting down from ten like at midnight ygm??? Okay I am rambling so will shut up hope u guys like it and hope you have a wonderful nye <3 I hope and am sure 2019 will be wonderful for all of you <3

TEN minutes after you meet him, you realise that you’re kind of fucked.

(And by kind of, you mean completely, overwhelmingly, catastrophically fucked.)

It happens quickly, in a way that you’ve never experienced before.

So quickly, as a matter of fact, that when he locks eyes with you for the first time, and when he grazes your arm when brushing past you to grab his drink, it’s like a switch has been flicked inside of you that you were never sure even really existed.

You put it down to the bubbles from your prosecco that you’d downed just before chatting to him, and that the tipsiness and the buzz of alcohol is the only reason you could be feeling the way you do right now.

Now he’s a face that you can put a name to, instead of just viewing him as Marcus’ other footballer friend, that familiar grinning face you’d spotted at gatherings who always offered you a shy, awkward smile whenever you shared eye contact but someone who you’d never actually found the balls to speak to.

(Sure, as a regular human being with functioning eyes you knew that he was attractive, but he was way out of your league.)

(The constantly grinning, elusive, life of the party Jesse Lingard, who Marcus had raved about to you pretty much since the day they’d met, with his 5 million Instagram followers, ridiculous dance moves that no self-respecting 26 year old man should let the world see, and that smile- God, that stupid, infectious shit eating grin, when his eyes crinkled and made everyone else look mediocre in comparison to him.)

(He wouldn’t look in your direction even if the world was about to end.)

It’s New Years’ Eve, and his Christmas jumper smells like Baileys and cinnamon, lasting remnants of the festive period. “Nice to meet you.” You practically have to shout over the music. “I know Marcus.”

“You what Marcus?”

“I know Marcus.”

“You know who?”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, dismissing his question. “Doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

“I said.” You shout. “It doesn’t matter.”

He nods and smiles again, leaning in, “I don’t want to be weird or anything, considering we just met,” his gaze is hazy and clouded with the effects of the beer he’s clutching in his right hand, “but you’re really fucking pretty.”

You can feel your face flush, a blush superior to the one your red wine had already given you, and the next thing you know it’s nearly midnight, and you’re drunk and giggling and he’s flirting and tracing between the gap between your jeans and jumper with his fingers, and you’re both leaning in and your friends are counting down from ten, and he kisses you, amidst cheers and shouts and fireworks.

And you tell yourself, what’s the worst that could really happen?

“Only NINE stops.”

You trace your finger over the plastic Metrolink sign, running it up and down the line connecting the two tram stations, marking your place and his. “Nine stops to get from me to you.”

He snakes his hands around your waist, pressing his chin into your shoulder and kissing the exposed skin of your neck. “Stop.” You laugh, voice breathy. “We’re in public.”

“We’re in Manchester city centre on a Thursday night.” He pulls away, leading you towards the platform and laughing loudly, his voice booming throughout the cold night. “There’s no one fuckin’ here!”

He’s had a few pints, and he’s tipsy, handsy, flirty, silly Jesse, one of your favourite versions of him, kissing you breathlessly and grinning, hands running up and down your tight jeans and hooking into your belt loops and murmuring in your ear about how excited he is to pull them off of you later.

“Nine stops, you know,” He hums as the tram pulls away and you lean into him, watching the city pass you by, “is pretty far.”

“You’re such a city boy now.” You roll your eyes. “It’s like, 20 minutes. If we went back to my hometown, you’d be lucky to see a bus more than once every half an hour.”

“You wouldn’t have to do the whole 9 stops if you moved in with me.”

You crinkle up your nose and quirk an eyebrow at him. “What are you suggesting?”

“What do you think I’m suggesting?”

Laughing, you prop your feet up on the empty seat opposite and lean into his side, as he flops an arm around your shoulder. There’s no one else with you two and your voices and shared laughter echo throughout the empty carriage. “I’m serious!” He holds his hands up and looks at you with wide eyes. “Do it. Move in with me. You can cook me breakfast every morning, and make me my tea for when I get back, make me a brew whenever I want one… you’ll make the perfect little housewife.”

“Now that you’ve said that, you can fuck off.”

And you both brush it off and don’t speak of the topic again, but when he leaves for training the next morning, there’s a spare key for his flat lying on a post-it, with a hastily scribbled note.

You don’t have to properly move in – no pressure or anything like that. But I had a spare key lying around and wanted you to have it. Jess x

(When the breakup comes, you don’t work up the courage to give it him back, and it’s still lying in your bedside table draw, post-it long gone, gathering dust and eventually added to the pile of his things you swear you’ll get around to giving him back one day.)

(There’s a strange feeling in your stomach every time you pass by his stop.)

It’s EIGHT in the morning.

You’re sat in the coffee shop equidistant to your flat, Marcus’s house and United’s training ground, where every Sunday without fail, the three of you would meet up for breakfast.

(Well, where you used to meet up every Sunday.)

(Minus that one time you were too hungover to leave the house without projectile vomiting on your own feet.)

For the first time since the breakup, Jesse had appeared, the sleepiness still drooping over his eyes and his hair mussed by his pillowcase. Your mind flashes to the image of him sleeping face down in his pillow, a position that made you nearly piss yourself laughing every time you saw him, but you suppress the memory quickly.

“Everyone can see it except the two of you, you know.”

Marcus tips his chin upwards and nods matter-of-factly. You roll your eyes and huff. “You’re a prick. And not just for saying that. But for inviting him out for our thing, our tradition, again, when you know it’s just going to be fucking awkward. He didn’t have to be here.”

“I’m only saying.” He raises his eyebrows and holds up two hands, as if to say, not my fault, I’m not interfering in the slightest, I’m just telling you that I know you’re still in love with your ex, and I know he still feels the same, and that even though there’s a very high chance things could still go catastrophically, terrifically, hugely wrong, I’m going to tell you and mess with your head anyway?

You reply snappily, huffing and folding your arms across your chest, “You’re messing with me, and it’s pissing me off. Fuck off. Tell him to fuck off too while you’re at it.”

He barks out a laugh and you roll your eyes. “I’m trying to reunite my two best friends, that’s all. Get the gang back together and all that!” He whines and shuffles closer to you, flinging an arm around your shoulders loosely. “Let me live. You both know you’re both being stubborn. Just talk to each other. It’ll all work out.”

“I don’t even like him anyway. Not like that. Not anymore.”

It’s a lie, a stupid, threadbare, slap you in the face lie. Marcus knows it too, and snorts. “Yeah, sure. I believe you. It’s not like you’ve been pining over each other for the past 3 months and you’re giving the girl he’s talking to at the moment daggers.”

You pull away your gaze sharply. Jesse’s in the queue- well, he was in the queue, now he’s loitering by the serviettes - and he’s been pulled to the side by a beautiful girl. They’ve been chatting amiably for the better part of the last ten minutes and you can feel your blood temperature rising steadily. “I’m staring,” You begin, and your head starts whizzing at a million miles an hour to come up with a decent excuse. “Because Jesse has our coffees and I don’t want them to get cold just because he’s in the middle of a stupid conversation.”

“’Stupid conversation’,” Marcus air quotes your words and smirks. “Jealousy isn’t a very attractive trait, you know.”

“I’m not jealous.” You scoff. “I’m just thirsty, that’s all.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“Fuck you.”

A few minutes, and plenty of glares and continuous teaching jabs from Marcus later, Jesse approaches and smiles apologetically. “Sorry about that.” he chuckles, and hands you your mug.

Your fingers bump and it’s so meaningless and tiny but you kick yourself for still flinching when your skin made contact. “Careful. It’s still hot.”

(See, he cares about you. Maybe it’s not all just in your head!)

It’s an instinct to smile back at him, a repressed reflex to not pat the empty space next to you and rest your hand on his thigh, but you gulp as he sits opposite instead, far away from the table, from you. “Make conversation.” Marcus hisses.

You can feel your face blossoming cherry red, feel the discomfort in the air rise, feel your palms grow sweaty, and you shoot him a dirty look, mouthing, “Stop making it obvious.”

“You’re the one making it obvious.” He hisses back.

“Hm?” Jesse looks up from his phone to across the table.

He’s wearing that stupidly adorable, confused look on his face again, and you want to kiss him, you want to throw your boiling hot coffee in his face, you want to slap him, do something, do anything that would be less unbearably awkward than the three of you making small talk about the new Kenyan variety of coffee beans Marcus was trying out.

“Hm what?” You gargle.

“I was just asking what you guys were mumbling about.” He leans back, hands gripping his mug.

“Nothing.” You interject, before Marcus can start up again. “Marcus’s just being a dick, that’s all.”

You kick yourself for acting like such a lovesick, pathetic idiot, because you’ve never been like this before, you’ve constantly sworn to yourself that you’d never going be like this, but now he’s in the picture and it’s like everything that you ever held dearly to you has gone straight out of the window. Marcus pipes up, “So, who was that girl?”

(Now he decides to fucking speak.)

“Which girl?”

This time, you’re not quick enough to interrupt Marcus from piping up. “The girl you were flirting with before, Jesse, who you might go out with, who seems really nice and wasn’t a baby by actually talking to you about her feelings instead of hiding behind her emotions because she’s so scared of rejection and open communication, that she’d be willing to sacrifice the possibility of something really great?”

(You’re this close to chucking your cappuccino over his head.)

Jesse side eyes Marcus, opening his mouth to reply but then shaking his head and exhaling instead. “She’s right, you are being fucking weird today.” He shakes his head, tipping his chin upwards slightly and shrugging. “Besides, she’s not really my type anyway.”

(She was beautiful.)

(She’d be anyone’s type.)

He’s looking at you dead in the eye this time, ignoring Marcus’s eyes darting back and forth between the two of you, and you venture, “What is your type, then?”

He pulls a face, like come on, are you really asking that, you know what my fucking type is and you know it’s not that girl I was talking to strategically 2 foot in front of you so you’d see and get jealous, and when he doesn’t answer, you take it as a silent victory for #TeamYouWereRight, not #TeamJesse.

“That’s for me to know, isn’t it?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

You let Marcus fill the silence of the rest of your breakfast, and when you leave you’re too much of a coward to even look Jesse in the eye.

It only takes him SEVEN days to move on

When the cover of Ok! on your best friend’s coffee table catches your eyes, you can almost feel your wine and the tequila shots you had knocked back rising back up your throat. Your vision is hazy and the bitterness, the anger, the hurt surges through your veins as you pick it up and throw it to the floor, out of sight and out of mind. You were right, the featurette screamed out at you, he wasn’t, isn’t worth it, isn’t worth you crying over.

It only took him a week to find someone else to fuck and you’d be damned if you weren��t going to go out tonight with the same intentions.

Deep down you know you’re being childish and if you were sober you’d probably never have sunk to such a level, but the tequila is buzzing in your blood and you can’t stop thinking about that fucking photograph.

(A photograph of Jesse revelling in a post-Boxing Day victory glow, crowded with Paul and Marcus in some swanky inner city bar, with his hand on the thigh of a beautiful woman whose Instagram account you made a mental note of to stalk when you were in a soberer state.)

There’s a tranquil voice somewhere in the back of your head telling you to step back and be rational. You’d been friends with Marcus and the boys for far too long to trust the split-second capture of a loitering paparazzi over his word.

It was probably just a one-night stand, that rational voice piped up again. Plus, he’s single now. Give him a break. The boy is gonna need to get laid eventually.

(But he’d told you he didn’t want to be with anyone else, that he’d rather have quiet nights in with his teammates to celebrate, probably just PS4 and takeaway, that he wouldn’t enjoy going out if it wasn’t with you.)

(That rational voice in your head could go fuck itself.)

You shrug off the worry at the back of your mind and post the picture to your Instagram story regardless.

Your phone buzzes 2 minutes later.

Who is he?

You hate yourself for revelling in his jealousy, but the sense of satisfaction you gain overrides any rationale that sober you would have considered.

Who the fuck is that guy?

Can you reply?

I can see you’ve read these messages, you know.

Are you fucking him? Is he your new boyfriend?

Fuck you.

Happy SIX months, babe. Love yaaaaaaaa!!!

is what the balloon reads, as the delivery man comes by Jesse’s house with a bunch of flowers almost the size of him and a handful of personalised helium balloons.

“Delivery for Mr J Lingard?” The postman reads off his phone, before handing Jesse the assortment of romantic gifts and offering up a screen for Jesse to sign.

He smiles tiredly and nods.

(He swore he had remembered to cancel this order after you’d broken up.)

“Ta mate,” He replies, taking the flowers inside and dumping the balloons behind him in his hallway.

“Anniversary, eh?” The delivery man smiles. “She’ll love the presents.”

(He’s going to throw up.)

Jesse attempts to smile and brush it off with a laugh, but it’s not convincing. “Fingers crossed, yeah.”

“Best of luck.” He walks back down his drive. “Have a nice day.”

“And you.”

He’s alone again in his hallway, the gifts surrounding him, a flurry of red and pink bows and yellow roses, your favourite, your name written onto the balloons.

He imagines you in the kitchen with him, you, being your typical over-emotional, dramatic self probably welling up at the card he’d written, tactfully arranging the balloons for an Instagram photo, talking about inhaling the helium and taking a video for his Snapchat speaking in funny voices, getting stressed out about doing your eyeshadow for your dinner later that evening.

He can imagine looking at you from across his kitchen table like you just hung the moon in the sky, the thought of being with you, eating breakfast with you, talking to you all making his stomach churn. Because the breakup hadn’t been formal nor had it been official, and it was only after you blocked most (well, all) of his social media accounts, and your face no longer appeared, grinning and slightly flushed, in the stands of Old Trafford, that he had realised the severity of what had happened between the two of you.

And Jesse kicks himself over it every day, he could have done more, could have turned up to your house or your office and demanded an answer or at least a conversation, but his stubbornness and obstinacy had prevented him from doing so, and your unwillingness to communicate had landed you both at a stalemate.

(If he could go back in time, he would.)

He leaves the anniversary gifts in his spare room upstairs and doesn’t even open the door.

05:02 – Are you up?

05:14 – Lol of course you won’t be

05:14 – Soz for texting. I can’t sleep and I think I’m just getting a bit caught up in own head

05:16 – I just

05:16 – I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind

05:16 – I just don’t know why this is still so fucking difficult. It’s been like 3 months and I still can’t sleep because I’m thinking about you and how everything went wrong

05:19 – I’m sorry if I pressured you when I told you I loved you and I’m sorry for not fighting more

05:20 – Didn’t meant to rush you. Just wanted to be honest.

05:20 – And now I’ve fucked everything up. And I’ve fucked it with Marcus too, jt’s always awkward and I know he’s taken your side and everything is just shite

05:26 – Fucking hell

05:26 – I can’t do being just friends and I can’t do platonic. Maybe we just should just cut if off completely

05:27 – Please come and see me so we can talk it over

05:27 – I just can’t do this, this in between

05:28 – I love you and I know you still love me

05:28 – Is that not enough???

It’s FOUR in the morning and Jesse’s regretting even leaving the house in the first place.

His head is pounding with the deep bass coming from the speakers behind him, as he gingerly sips at his lime soda, thoughts of his alarm ringing at 7:30am tomorrow morning looming in the back of his mind, thoughts of what his Mum would say if she knew he wasn’t getting a healthy 8 hours of sleep before a game, thoughts of you in that little black dress, swaying to the beat, standing far too close to that short-back-and-sides-probably-a-fuckboy idiot whispering something that Jesse doesn’t want to imagine down your ear.

(Thoughts of what he’d like to do to you in a dress like that.)

You eventually shrug the other guy off when he gets a little too eager, a little too handsy, and pull your hair loose from its ponytail, eyes scanning around the club and pausing when the land on Jesse.

He’s stood in the corner, not speaking to anybody and hardly moving, and that’s when you know he must be in a bad mood, because the DJ’s just started playing Sicko Mode and he’s not even flinched. Then one of his mates appears by his side, hollering down his eardrum, and Jesse doesn’t even respond with a smile or a laugh, he just shrugs him off and walks towards the doors.

You’re not sure why, but you follow him as he heads towards the smoking area. You lose him eventually in a sea of drunk people, and exhale, the wind suddenly sobering you up.

Fucking typical, you think, lighting a fag and leaning back against the brick wall, eyes closed.

“You shouldn’t smoke.”

You open one eye and there he is, stood there in front of you, looking at you with a mixture of fondness, annoyance and disapproval. Looking at him dead in the eyes, you lift it to your lips and inhale. “I must have a tendency for going back to things that I know are bad for me.”

He looks at you, and you can tell he wants to bite, to start another fight, but then he bites his tongue and exhales. “How have you been?”

“I’m alright.”

“Good.”

“And you?”

“Good.”

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to get out of here?”

(The next thing you know, you’re in a taxi togetther and he’s telling the driver his address and your hands are all over him and his are all over you.)

(And you fall into bed with him again, like always, like you know deep down happens every time, as if its a habit, and when you wake up the next morning in his shirt you tell yourself that this time really will be the last time.)

You hadn’t anticipated saying those THREE words to Jesse so soon.

God, you hadn’t even considered the possibility of things lasting between the two of you for longer than a few weeks, but now here you were nearly 6 months later, lying on his sofa with his head in your lap and your fingers running through his hair. “Hey,” Jesse speaks and sits up, switching the volume of the telly down to zero.

“Hm?”

He looks away, before turning almost as red as the United shorts he was still yet to change out of, then gulping and shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” He cuddles back into you and though your heart melts, you wiggle him off and jab him with your elbow.

“Talk to me.” You whine. “You’re no fun when you’re being weird like this. What’s up?”

Jesse heaves a sigh, and for the first time during your conversation, looks you in the eye before burning bright red again and glancing away. It’s like he can’t bear the sight of you, and his determined avoidance of both a proper conversation and sharing eye contact with you makes you feel slightly nauseous.

A few moments of silence pass before he looks at you again. “I, well- I feel weird right now.” He stumbles. “Because, um, I-“

“Jesse, what is it?”

Your pulse begins to race as your mind inevitably wanders, and the pessimist in you instantly leaps to the worst possible thing. Was he breaking up with you? Things had been going so well, and surely Marcus would have called to give you a heads up if he knew something weird was going on with Jesse.

(Then again, you had cancelled on date night for the past 3 weeks to binge the Great British Bake Off.)

(Still, would that really have warranted a breakup?)

(And plus, Jesse was the Bake Off’s second biggest fan, after yourself, naturally.)

It could be something smaller, something to do with his family, or his career. But he never felt uncomfortable discussing football with you, despite your feelings towards his club, and his relatives treated you like one of their own.

(Your mind does eventually wander to the possibility of him cheating, or him finding someone else, but due to your own stubbornness and for the sake of your sanity, you’re quick to expel any ideas like that straight out of your head.)

“I love you.”

His voice is soft and cracks at the end, and it’s so, so far from what you had been expecting, and so unlike the usual confident, grinning Jesse that you were used to that a lump forms in your throat. “Oh, Jess-“

“I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to scare you off.” He mumbles. “But I’m finding it way too hard to not have those stupid fucking three words replaying in my mind every time I look at you. Because that’s what’s happening, I swear. I’m trying to play it cool and casual but all I can think about every time you smile, or speak, or laugh is the fact that I’m in love with you.”

A smile pulls on your lips and you immediately scramble forward to wrap your arms around him. He laughs and you feel his chest rumble underneath you. “You don’t have to be scared.” You comfort. “Trust me, I was shitting myself way imagining the worst just now.”

Jesse laughs. “Cos like, it terrifies me, it fucking scares the living daylights out of me, because I’ve never felt like this about, well- anyone before. And I was petrified that you didn’t feel the same way.”

You grin, before leaning in and pressing your lips to his with force. It’s a hasty, reassuring kiss, and your teeth clash and you murmur in between kisses, “I love you.”

(Months had passed since that night now and those three words hadn’t lost any meaning.)

(And you just wish you could say them to him again.)

“I know we said it the last TWO times, but we really need to stop doing this.”

His voice is soft, breaking the silence you were lying in.

(You’re grateful that he was the one to speak first, but you’re not so grateful for him bringing up that wretched conversation yet again.)

He looks across at you, the dim light from your lamp illuminating the side of your face, your knotted hair and smudged lipstick, and then at your bedside clock, reading 01:23. Jesse sighs and you can feel your heart sinking into your stomach, as he reaches for his boxers and pulls them on. Your bedroom is a mess, cushions and throws tossed to the floor, and he speaks up again, “I mean it, this time.”

“Okay.”

He continues, though he really doesn’t need to. You’ve got the message loud and clear. “I think it’s just good for our, er, healing. Isn’t like, not sleeping with your ex like the number 1 thing not to do after a breakup?”

“Probably, yeah.”

You hug your duvet up around your body protectively, before reaching for your bra and t-shirt that had been tossed to floor just two hours earlier, when the expected texts had come, the are-you-awake, the got-plans-tonight?, the I’m-horny-and-I-miss-you-let’s-not-waste-any-more-time texts.

(Leading to the exact opposite of what was good for you after the breakup.)

(For fucks sake, you tell yourself.)

(Dua Lipa did not write New Rules for you to be this pathetic, this needy, this easy.)

“Fine, then.” You say, blasé, casual, giving off an air of nonchalance and indifference that couldn’t be further from the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. “You don’t have to spend the night. Can you see yourself out or do you want me to get up?”

The way he looks back at you after you speak is enough to break your heart all over again. It’s a pleading look, and he’s willing you with his eyes to try and communicate for once, for the first time, but you refuse to meet his eyeline.

“I can see myself out.”

“Right.”

He dresses in silence, grabs his stuff and stalks out your flat, slamming your door on his way out. You scramble out of bed to watch him walk down your street, the way you used to when you started dating, when he used to blow you kisses as he ambled off your drive, or when you used to watch him run to a taxi on mornings when he was late for training.

This time, for the first time, he doesn’t look back at your window.

It’s been ONE year to the day since you met him, and you hate yourself for noticing the parallels as you walk into the living room at Marcus’s NYE party and he’s the first face you can recognise.

It’s like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy and it makes you want to die.

(Fortunately, he doesn’t quite spot you yet, and you’re free to make a beeline to the kitchen, in peace and quiet with an unopened bottle of Chardonnay as your company.)

(It lasts about 15 minutes.)

“Hey.”

You turn around and you see him, smiling at you in that same, stupid, garish, adorable Christmas jumper, holding out a Quality Street chocolate. It’s a peace offering, an olive branch, and you take it with a nod. “You alright?”

Jesse nods and takes a seat on the sofa behind you. “So, what are your New Year's resolutions, hey?”

You settle on the sofa next to him, knocking your knee against his accidentally, cursing and looking at him from over the rim of your glass of wine.

Jesse chuckles then shrugs sarcastically. “Can’t improve perfection.”

Your instinct is to let out a cackle, and you do, you burst out laughing so dramatically your drink nearly projects out of your nostrils, because he’s not even wrong and there’s not much about him that could really do with changing.

(Scrap that, he should learn to cook.)

(And definitely how to use a tumble dryer.)

(And call time of death on those dances he insisted on doing every time he scored a goal.)

“You’re the fucking worst.”

“What are your resolutions then, hey?” He knocks his knees with yours.

“Eat more fruit.” You fib.

Stop being so stubborn and accept that sometimes you’re in the wrong. Stop bottling up your emotions. Don’t be afraid to let people know how you feel. Stop being such a fucking coward all the time.

(Resolutions that Jesse of all people didn’t need to know about.)

“Boring.” He hums.

“Drink more water.” You add, nodding. “Start going to yoga again.”

“That’s so generic.”

“Fuck off. It’s called self improvement.”

“It sounds like every basic 23 year old girl I’ve ever met.”

You peek at your phone when he looks away: 23:58.

Fuck. How the fuck had it got so late already?

Your friends begin to gather in hordes in the kitchen, the TV broadcasting the fireworks in London has been switched on and drinks are poured and held aloft. Jesse jumps to his feet and offers you his hand as you do the same; his hand feels warm and familiar and when he lets go it suddenly feels like there’s acres of space between you again.

“I think I’m getting déjà vu.”

You roll your eyes, resisting the urge to smile. “Déjà vu to when?”

“That night. The first time we met.”

Jesse tips his chin backwards, and someone behind him trips, bumps him forward, and he stumbles into you, by reflex finding your waist and your free hand pressing up against his chest.

He’s inches in front of you, and you can feel your pulse in your eyeballs and his breath across your face.

You splutter out, “I’m really, really fucking sorry.”

Jesse laughs. “What the fuck are you on about now, mad woman?”

“I’m sorry. About it all. About everything.”

He shakes his head, as if to say it’s okay, stop apologising, we haven’t been this close without wanting to kill each other since the break up and I don’t think we should even tempt the possibility of us arguing again.

And he’s leaning in, and you can smell his cologne and it’s comforting and reassuring and confusing, and makes your head spin but grounds your feet, and you’re closing your eyes as your friends begin to shout.

Happy new year!

And he’s kissing you and you’re kissing him and you can feel his hand gripping your waist, holding and squeezing you and you can feel your stomach fizzing. When he pulls away he’s looking at you softly, gaze mellowed by tequila and the closeness between you two. “Happy new years, Jess.” is all you can muster, as he leans in and smiles again.

“Happy new year.”

#My writing #jesse lingard #jesse lingard fanfiction #jesse lingard one shot #jesse lingard imagine #england nt #england nt fanfiction #england nt imagine #manchester united imagine #cant believe i just typed that i feel DIRTY #footballer fanfiction #footballer imagines #footballer imagine #footballer one shot

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julia-highstorms · 6 years

Text

If Jane Was Here (Noah's POV) - Ch. 13

Summary: ILITW by Noah’s point of view. Previous chapter here

Disclaimer: all characters belong to Pixelberry Studios and some dialogues are from the game. Gender neutral MC.

Author’s Note: So… I guess I made a mistake in last chapter. Please, forget what I wrote about Noah taking Andy’s phone in the limo. Pretend that it never happened. And I'll be posting the final chapters + AU ending throughout the ILITW Appreciation Week!

Rating: M (you know... violence, death, etc)

Pairing: Noah x MC

Word count: 4447

Tagging @kurbqa-deactivated20180730 @miragemeister@yertletheturtle04 @mysteriouslady4 @klaudiana-beaumontkkreal @katiehawkeyebishop @melchann @hippiekiyay@lovethemarshalltwins @jadedpixiescribbles @gameofstrangerwars@american-duchess @blackheartdreams @indiacater @nuttatulipa@lcnelywclf @sazanes @mmmmmmyyyah @ietss

Chapter 13 - Fight or Flight

As homecoming descended to chaos, Noah shoved the wrong way through a panicking crowd, towards the stage. One of Jane’s beasts had just taken Andy away, leaving the boy’s phone behind.

Jane was working exactly accordingly to the plan. Okay, with more horror and violence and blood than he had anticipated.

Noah had just shoved the object inside his pocket, when he suddenly heard MC’s voice nearby:

“Noah… DUCK!”

Without thinking, the beanie boy did what he was told to and watched in shock as his friend stabbed the microphone stand into a vine creature’s hide like a spear, tangling it in electrical cords.

“Nice save!” - he murmured as they watched the creature falling over the stage, snarling.

“Come on!” - MC yelled, intertwining their hand with his, both of them running in the gym, locating the others amidst the chaos.

“Why is this happening?! These things shouldn’t be alive anymore!”

“Yeah, well tell that to them!” - Ava shout back to Lucas, pointing to the monsters biting and swiping and shoving through screaming bystanders, making their way toward the group of teenagers.

“They’re after us! The longer we stay here, the more people we put in danger!” - Lily glanced nervously around them.

“We have to get out of here!” - Lucas stated as Principal Flores’s voice cut through the noise:

“ Everyone, the hallway is clear! Get to the classrooms and lock the doors!”

“Come on!” - the gang joined the stampede for the exit… but the crowd bottlenecked in the doors, screaming and shoving as the monsters stalked forward. Jocelyn flopped a serving table, making a barricade. - “Jocelyn, what are you doing?”

“Shut up and run!”

The crowd squeezed out as the monsters pressed down on the girl, tearing the table to shreds, overwhelming her, claws and fangs sinking in her flesh.

“No! Someone help her!” - Britney screamed, tears rubbing down her face.

“AAAAH! AAH-AAAAH! I said RUN, you idiots!” - and then, Jocelyn vanished beneath a sea of snapping jaws. They all sprinted for the hall, pursued by blood-curdling screams.

The gang fled down the hall as screaming students and chaperones barricaded themselves inside classrooms.

“They’re right behind us!” - MC yelled, casting a glance over their shoulder.

“Book it!” - Ava shout back.

“...crap crap CRAP!” - was everything Noah could murmur. What Jane was thinking? He told her to just scare people away! Not hurt them!

“In here!” - Lucas pointed to the open auditorium doors. They swerved in, as some monsters went charging past.

Everyone doubled over, panting hard.

“Are they gone?” - Stacy asked. Lily’s face went pale.

“No… Look!”

Crouching, they peered around the doorframe. In the hall, one of the creatures slowed, its flaming eyes swivelled in their direction… Noah held his breath as the monster’s snout thrusted in over the threshold, an inch from Lucas’s hand.

“Yeah, I’m so done.” - before he could realise what was happening, MC jumped up slamming their elbow through the emergency box safety glass, and grabbed the axe in there. - “Hey, party crasher!” - the monster looked their way, startled as MC charged toward it. - “CRASH THIS!” - they yelled, swinging the weapon up and then down its neck, slashing through it, the blow so hard that the blade bit through the floor. The creature’s body crumpled, twitching beneath the axe blade. MC picked up its snapping head. - “That’s enough out of you.” - they said, before blowing its eyes out like candles, and its body fell still.

They all looked in both shock and amusement at them.

“Wow…” - Lily’s mouth was falling agape.

“Okay, not gonna lie… That was kinda hot.”

“Ava, focus.”

“Thanks for the save, MC!” - Lucas grinned at them.

“No problem.”

Once the coast was clear, the gang ran outside the building, school alarm bells screaming out over the parking lot.

“Now what?”

“What do you mean ‘now what’?” - MC looked over Stacy. - “Now we leave!”

“We came here in the limo, remember?” - the Class President reminded them.

“Damn it!”

“Oh boy, more running.” - the witch girl concluded with a somber face.

“I can’t take this…”

“Me neither.” - Noah agreed with Lily. His feet felt sore from all that running.

“It’s better than the alternative. Now come on, before—”

“Stacy!”

“Mom?!” - Mayor Green, disheveled and covered in scrapes, grabbed her daughter by the arm. - “What are you doing?”

“Getting you out of here! Now come on, all of you! There’s a storm shelter on the other side of the building. We can make it if we run!”

“No, Mayor Green, we can’t stay here!”

“Excuse me?” - the woman looked at MC as if they had two heads.

“Mom, I don’t have time to explain, but I need you to trust me!”

“Yes, because that worked out so well for me the last time.”

“M-Mom!” - the cheerleader’s eyes filled with tears. The mayor’s grip tightened on her wrist.

“Stacy, your friends can do what they want, but I am your mother, and you’re coming with me! End of discussion!” - Noah nervously looked at his watch. The longer they stayed there the worse things would get.

“Alright, Off-Brand Hillary Clinton, now you listen to me!”

“Ex-excuse me?” - Mayor Green released Stacy's arm, drawing back as MC stepped between them.

“Your daughter has been through hell for weeks trying to protect you. And she’s still doing it right now!” - the rest of the group watched in stunned silence the scene in front of them. - “But you know what? For the life of me, I can’t figure out why! ‘Cause it seems to me like all you care about is your damn image!”

“That… that’s not true! You can’t talk to me like that!”

“I just did! News flash, lady, you’re the mayor of a town whose population can fit in a football stadium! You’re not that important! So get over yourself and stop treating your daughter like she’s just a speed bump on your road to being someone who matters!”

“MC, what's gotten into you?”

“I’ve run out of patience for bullies.”

“Stacy, I… I didn’t know that’s how you felt about me.” - the woman’s face was red in embarrassment. - “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” - huh? Noah thought he saw something on the corner of his eye…

“I’ve tried, Mom. I’ve tried, and tried, and tried. You don’t listen, but—”

“Uh, hey everybody, not to interrupt Drama Club, but LOOK OUT!” - he yelled. Glass shattered as a dozen monsters exploded out the front doors, dreading their way.

“Mom, run!” - Stacy shoved her mom out of the way, and the creatures streamed after the teenage kids as they took off across the parking lot.

“They’re gaining on us!” - Lily screamed by Noah’s side.

“They’re ahead of us, too!” - Ava pointed.

“This is hopeless! There’s too many of them!” - Lucas starred panicking as they ran.

“Wait… What is that sound?” - the nerdy girl asked and a black muscled car exploded into view. Monsters crashed sideways over the hood as the car shrieked to a stop… and the driver door kicked open:

“Get in!”

“That was awesome!” - the cheerleader squealed in excitement as she saw her brother.

“Praise me later! I said get in!”

They all ran for the car. Connor hefted a tire iron and jumped out to cover them as the monster rose to their feet, eyes blazing with fury.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?” - the older guy asked defiantly to a growling creature.

Metal clanged against bone as Connor smashed a monster with a backhand swing. MC jumped in the passenger seat as the rest piled up in the backseat of the car.

“Connor, let's go!” - they shout through the open driver door.

The blonde guy jumped in the driver seat and slammed the door. But before he could start the car, a moss creature lunged through the window, chomping into his side.

“AAAAAH!” - Connor stomped the gas and the monster wrenched out of sight as the car leapt up to speed and tore off out of the parking lot.

The car skidded around a corner, racing through streets downtown, Connor glancing into the rearview:

“How’s everybody doing back there?”

“Freaking out.” - Ava answered him. Lily nodded.

“Same.”

“Cool, glad we’re all on the same— nngh… page…” - he winced, holding his side as he drove.

“Connor, are you okay?” - MC asked from the passenger seat. The older guy flashed a charming smirk at them.

“I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.”

“Are you sure? That thing bit you…”

“Don’t worry about it. If I start turning into a zombie, one of you guys can just kill me.” - Noah rolled his eyes. They didn’t have time for that chitchat. They had to go to the woods.

“On it.” - the witch girl said, waving the tire iron.

“There, see? All under control.”

Cop cars went rocketing past, sirens screaming, headed toward the school.

“Hello, guys, can we focus on the fact that monsters kidnapped Andy?!” - the beanie boy reminded his friends. They definitely shouldn’t be there, piled up in a car. They should be going to the woods, and not to wherever the hell Stacy’s older brother was taking them.

“And if the monsters are back, that means that Mr. Red is back too! And that means the ritual didn’t work!” - Lucas still was freaking out by Lily’s side.

“But why? We did everything we were supposed to!” - Stacy asked from his other side.

“I don’t know. But until we figure it out, we can’t just charge in. If we go up against Mr. Red without a plan, we’re as good as dead.”

“So is Andy if we don’t go after him!” - Noah reminded the Class President. Typical. That was so typical of Lucas. Trying to to free his cowardly ass from everything.

Lily gasped sharply st a sudden realisation, everyone turning to her.

“I just realized… If these things came after us, they might have gone after Dan, too!”

“Crap, you’re right! We have to go to the hospital and get him before they do!” - the beanie boy rolled his eyes as Stacy professed those words.

“We don’t have one for that!” - it was useless. Dan would probably be with Jane at this rate. - “We all need to—”

“CONNOR, LOOK OUT!” - the cheerleader screamed and her brother winced as the car swerved toward the edge of the road, the passenger mirror exploding against a street light.

“Damn!” - the driver cursed, jerking the wheel, steering back onto the road, and slamming on the brakes. He grunted, gripping his side.

“What are you…”

“Guess that bastard at the school got me better than I thought…” - Connor said before MC could finish their question.

“That settles it. Connor, get in the back. Lucas, you drive. We’re going to the hospital.”

Noah grunted in frustration but said nothing. That dude was hurt and bleeding his guts out. But the longer they took to go to the woods, he knew the worse things would be…

Jane was here.

They sped to the hospital and parked outside. Noah and Lucas helped Connor through the doors… but as they entered the lobby, they found it eerily empty.

The boy with the denim jacket felt a cold shiver running down his spine. Jane had already been there.

“What the hell?!” - the older guy screamed, his hand on his side. Lucas looked around in confusion.

“Where’s everyone?”

“I frickin’ knew it! No one ever listens to Noah!”

Jane was here.

“Someone check Dan’s room!” - Lily shout as MC already ran down the hall, the girls following them close behind.

The two boys helped Connor down a chair near the desk, and went to sit in the waiting area. None of them said anything, each one lost in their own thoughts. Noah glanced nervously to his watch again.

They looked up as Ava, Lily, Stacy and MC entered the lobby.

“Was Dan there? Is he okay?” - the boy with glasses asked right away, both of them standing up.

“What does it look like?” - Ava scowled at him.

Noah swore, pacing. He knew it. Jane had already been there and took Dan. They were just wasting time there.

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t the ritual work? We did the goblets, the incantation, all of it! Desfiles was sealed!” - Lily cried in desperation.

“Maybe We did something wrong?” - the witch girl asked her.

“That can’t be… Can it?”

“No. We did it all right.”

“Yeah, exactly!” - Lily beamed to MC’s firmly reply. Ava agreed:

“Okay, yeah. I thought so too. But if it wasn’t a mistake, then what? You think the old lady got it wrong? Misremembered the spell or something?”

“No. I think Cora gave us the ritual just how she and her friends did it back then.”

“But?”

“Maybe it’s different for us. Maybe we were supposed to do something else.” - Noah stopped pacing and looked at MC. They’d always been the clever one of them all.

“Like what?” - Lily asked them, who frowned:

“I don’t know…”

Noah rolled his eyes once again. They didn’t have time for speculations.

“None of this changes anything. Now we just have two people to rescue.”

“Yeah, but still no plan for how to stop this.”

He glared at Lucas:

“Look, I don’t know why Redfiled’s loose any more than you do, but that doesn’t matter right now. ‘One crisis at a time’, remember? And right now, the crisis is, Andy and Dan have been kidnapped. We need to go after them. All of us. We can sort the rest out later.”

“We could be dead later if we don’t figure out why this is happening!” - Lucas snapped back at him.

“You both need to calm down.” - they heard MC’s calm voice. Noah turned to them, seeing red:

“What are you, a marriage counselor?”

“No, MC’s right. This isn’t helping.”

The beanie boy stared at the other boy with a few seconds, before letting out a sigh, collecting himself.

“Yeah… Alright.” - picking up fights would only be worse and harder to get all of them to the woods.

Connor cleared his throat:

“Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt, but can I get a word with MC real quick?”

They all nodded, everyone scattered around the room as MC headed towards the desk. Noah paced grouchy toward the doors, feeling Andy’s phone weighting inside his pocket.

That was useless. They were just wasting their time there.

Jane was here.

Suddenly he sensed someone approaching him and stopped waking pivoting in the steps direction. It was MC.

“Are we leaving yet?” - he asked, not hiding his impatience.

“Just a few more minutes. Are… you okay?”

“Peachy.” - he said sarcastically, before shaking his head with a huff and going back to pacing… from the door… to the window… to the door…

“Hey, Noah, talk to me.” - he rolled his eyes. Again.

“Yeah, let’s all stand around talking about our feelings for an hour, that’ll help.”

“Okay, point taken.”

And then, MC turned around to go… but he didn’t want them to go. They didn’t deserve to suffer all his anger. They were the only one who always tried to help everyone and do something. The one who gave a damn to what happened to Jane. The one who truly cared about him.

“...No. Hang on.” - he took a step toward them, putting a gentle hand on their shoulder. Their eyes (those eyes that always made him feel a little anxious when they looked through him) met his. - “I’m sorry.”

MC nodded at him, wordless. He sighed and headed to the window, leaning against the frame and staring out at the street. Wondering about what Jane probably was doing by now.

“What’s going on, Noah?” - his friend asked, standing beside him.

He wanted to tell them everything. About Jane being Mr. Red. That they, all of them, had to go to those ruins in the woods. But MC would never believe him. And the gang would never agree to go there. They had already left him and Jane alone before. They would likely do the same again.

“Nothing.” - he said instead. “I just… I want to get out of here and get this over with. The sooner we finish it, the sooner everything goes back to normal.”

“‘Back to normal’? Back to normal how? Do you mean all of us not talking?”

Noah frowned at them.

“No, come on. You know what I mean. Earlier than that. Like when we were kids. Before…”

“Before Jane died.” - MC finished the sentence for him. He looked away, his heart aching. - “Noah, whatever happens with us and Redfield… it won’t bring her back. Some wounds don’t heal. They just become scars.”

The boy slumped against the window, his breath fogging the glass, obscuring his reflection.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it before. Jane’s gone and there’s nothing we can do about it.” - oh, MC was so wrong. So dead wrong.

Jane would be back. If they all went there… and played together one last time. She would be here.

Jane was here.

He kept talking:

“It’s just… I don’t know. I can’t get it out of my head. How it’s not right. It’s not fair. Jane didn’t deserve that.”

Maybe… maybe he was the one who should have gone year ago. Not her.

“None of us deserved it.”

MC was wrong again.

“Maybe we did. Maybe we should have done more to stop it.” - he rubbed at his eyes, feeling tears welling up there. - “Maybe it should have been me…”

If Jane was here...

Things would be better. Their mother always liked her more than him. His friends liked her more they liked him. MC liked her more than they liked him.

Noah? Noah was just so damn unlikeable. So useless. He was a dead weight in everyone’s life.

“Noah… hug time.” - MC pulled him into a sudden hug, cutting him off mid-sentence. The boy choked onto a sob as he felt their arms around him, holding him tightly. - “Noah, listen to me. We’re going to get past what happened, and we’re going to survive this.” - MC’s whispered calmly and somewhat reassuringly into his ear and he let his tears run freely. Tears of pain. Of sadness. Of shame. Of guilty. - “All of us. Together. Do you hear me?”

Together.

That was a nice dream. A beautiful and impossible dream.

“Yeah… Yeah, I hear you…” - he pulled away, sniffling back snot and rubbing his eyes with his sleeve. - “I think I’d like to be alone for a bit.” - a small smile tugged in the corner of his lips. - “But… thanks for coming over here. And for putting up with me.”

“I don’t ‘put up’ with you, Noah. You’re my friend.” - MC smiled brightly back at him.

Friend...

“Yeah, I know.” - his grin left as soon as it came. - “Same here…”

MC squeezed the boy’s shoulder affectionately before walking away. Boa resumed pacing.

What a great friend he was. Just about to lure them into the woods. And face Jane in that game.

But this time things would work. They would all be free from that frickin’ curse. Jane would be free. And his friends too. They would all go onto their lives. Happy and safe.

And he… he would face the consequences. He would be in Jane’s place.

It had to be him. It was the only fair thing to do.

Things would work this time. They had to.

Noah glanced to where his friends were. Lily was the one most nearby, sitting in a chair near the front doors, her hands folded in her lap. She seemed a little less terrified. Probably MC had talked to her before going to talk to him. Stacy was behind the reception desk, frantically rooting around, while Ava sat with her back in the wall, a pile of magazines from the waiting area in front of her. Lucas and MC talked in front of the soda machine.

Seeing that everyone seemed distracted, he stopped by the window, his back turned to the room. He took Andy’s phone from his pocket, staring at it for a few moments here typing something down.

Andy: “help me”

“...Andy!” - MC shout and everyone snapped to attention at the sound of his name.

MC: “omg Andy! where r u?!”

He kept texting on the Asian boy’s phone:

Andy: “I’m hiding near the ruins”

Andy: “I got away from those things but they’re everywhere”

MC: “r u okay?”

Andy: “please you have to help me”

Andy: “hurry”

Andy: “and bring everyone”

Noah shoved the phone back his pocket and joined his friends standing behind MC, reading over their shoulder. No one noticed that he wasn’t around before.

“Well, that’s definitely a trap.”

“Seriously. How dumb does Redfield think we are?” - Stacy agreed with Ava.

“It doesn’t matter.” - Noah put up a somber face. - “We don’t have a choice. At least we know what we’re walking into.”

“As much as I hate to say it, Noah is right.” - to his (and everyone’s) surprise, Lucas was the one who said it.

“Okay. Let’s roll.” - a few feet away, Connor sit up and pulled on his jacket.

“Roll where? You’re not going anywhere.”

“Says who?”

“Me.” - Stacy scowled back at her brother. - “You’re too hurt, Connor. You’re staying here.”

“The hell I am!” - the blonde guy started to get out of his seat, then groaned and staggered forward.

“Whoa, hey!” - Noah caught him mid-stumble and eased him back into his chair. That guy was in no condition to go with them. - “C’mon dude, don’t be stupid. You’re too messed up to help. And honestly you’d probably just slow us down.” - he knew those words were harsh, but were true. Besides, they didn’t need more people involved in what was going to happen. That wasn’t Connor problem to solve. It was Noah’s and his friends’.

“Oh, fine…” - the guy fished in his pocket for his keys and held them out to them. - “Just… Just take my car and go. I’ll hang here. Wait for the doctors. And the cops.”

“Connor… thank you.”

“Hey, no problem. I got to look like scream badass for a minute here huh?” - he smirked to MC.

“Yeah. You sure did.” - the older guy tossed them his car keys.

“Hey… Be careful.”

“I will. See you soon.”

“You better.”

MC motioned to them and they all started toward the door.

Lucas drove them to MC’s house. Outside there, the teenagers piled out of the car and started across the backyard.

“Remind me what the plan is?”

“Go back to the ruins”. - Lily replied Lucas. Stacy kept telling the plan:

“Rescue Dan and Andy.”

“Kill anything that gets in our way.” - followed by Ava.

“Is everybody ready?”

“Not even remotely.” - Lucas answered MC’s question.

“Well, that makes literally all of us.” - the witch girl frowned.

“Let’s do this.” - Noah said, putting on a determined face.

Shoulder to shoulder, the gang marched across the yard…

“But first…”

“MC, where are you going?” - Lily asked nervously as they all watched their friend swerving into another direction.

“Just making a quick detour!”

MC entered their family’s shed, exiting it a few moments later.

“Wow…” - Noah murmured, seeing all that arsenal they took with them.

“MC…”

“Holy crap…” - Lily and Lucas were stunned too.

“That’s a good look for you.” - Ava grinned and Stacy asked:

“Who are you, The Terminator?”

“What can I say? I prefer to face my demons armed to the teeth.” - suddenly they saw a black and white blur running out of the shed after them. It was a smiley dog. - “Hilda, whatever are you doing?”

“Looks like she wants to come along.” - the Class President stroked Hilda behind her ears. Lily casted a nervous glance to the dog:

“Is that safe?”

“None of this is safe.” - Ava stated. - “But I definitely feel better with a dog.” - she bent to pet Hilda. - “Especially one this cute!”

They heard another noise and saw MC’s kitten toddling eagerly out of the shed.

Holy crap, did MC have a zoo in their shed?

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, not you too!”

“How many animals do you have in there?” - Lucas took the words out of his mouth. Stacy stopped to scratch the small cat, who meowed happily.

“Aww, she wants to come too!”

“That’s cute.” - Lily smiled. - “But we definitely can’t bring a kitten along. No matter how brave she is.”

They all jumped as they saw a moss creature bounding out of the woods.

“Twiggy! There you are!” - MC greeted the beast in recognition.

“You have… kind of a lot of pets.” - Noah said, watching the monster and the dog circling one another, sniffing.

“Tell me about it. This is getting ridiculous.” - Luna his behind MC’s leg, eyes wide and ears back, staring at Cora’s creature. - “Aaw, is my big brave killer jaguar afraid of Twiggy?”

Noah couldn’t really blame the kitten:

“Yeah, gonna be honest, that thing kinda freaks me out.”

MC chuckled by his side.

“ Well, I’m glad he’s around. We need all the help we can get.”

Suddenly, Hilda tensed, baring her teeth, Luna arched her back and Twiggy’s eyes blazed angrily.

“What’s going on?” - Noah looked confused at MC’s pets.

“Something’s coming. Everyone, get ready!” - they all turned towards the trees...

...And stopped dead at the sight of a shadowy figure, standing at the edge of the woods.

“Um… Everyone else is seeing this, right?” - Lily asked her friends. Noah’s mouth fell agape:

“Is that who I think it is?”

“It can’t be…” - MC covered their mouth with their hand.

“Mr. Cooper?!”

“StUdeNTs.” - the figure grinned at them. Lucas shook his head in denial:

“It’s not him. It can’t be him!”

“Mr. Cooper?! It’s a trick!”

“Yeah! He’s just another one of those dirt monsters!” - Noah agreed with MC.

Their professor’s eyes widened with glee.

“WrONg.”

“What do we do? If it is Mr. Cooper, we can’t hurt him!” - Stacy asked, her eyes never leaving the man in front of them.

“Everyone, relax. All we have to do is wrestle him to the ground and knock him out.”

“Y-yeah! There’s six of us and one of him!” - Lucas tried to follow MC’s brave face.

Mr. Cooper shook his head, clicking his tongue. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

“WrONg aGaIN.”

And then, another figure stepped out of the trees.

“MorE of Us in HeRE.” - Ben, the school’s basketball captain, said, his eyes blazing and his sling gray, just like Mr. Cooper’s.

And another figure.

“ALL of Us in HeRE.” - they recognised Andy’s best friend, Tom.

“Oh god… it’s tecoatients from the hospital!” - Lily murmured.

“But that means…”

Crooked fingers gripped the bark of a tree. From the shadows, something clawed its way into the light… and one more figure stepped forward.

“HeLLo frIEndS. CoME to PLaY?”

#if jane was here #ilitw appreciation week #noah marshall #it lives in the woods #ilitw #playchoices #ilitw noah #ilitw fanfic #playchoices fanfiction #choices fanfic

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zukadiary · 6 years

Text

Hustle Mates ~ Cosmos Troupe 2018

I know I'm here so often it's hardly special anymore… but this trip had the distinction of being my first VACATION in Japan in 5 years. I'd forgotten what mornings look like in this country (and as I'm now back at work for the remaining few days, I already miss them).

It also had the distinction of being Kazuki Sora's first lead. Of my standout favorites in my life thus far as a Takarazuka fan, Sora is the only one who, by some witch magic, grabbed me when she was a tiny child—before I ever set foot in a theater here, before she even got a shinko lead. After growing quite used to following her around the edges of the stage with my opera glasses and mentally cursing camera operators for not panning two inches to the left to get more than a sliver of her arm in some great dance scene, this year brought first an absolute dream role in Anita, followed by the center spotlight that I honestly wasn't convinced she'd ever get. It's been vindicating seeing her immense talents displayed so prominently, and deeply moving in ways utterly different from any of the other cyclones of emotion Takarazuka fandom has thrown upon me. A very non-Soragumi friend had a chance to see the show, and I felt nervous and wary like I was taking an acquaintance to my own child's recital (someone please tell me when I got old enough to experience THAT feeling). And much like a mom, I plan to throw out any attempt at objectivity and rave about my girl until you don't want to listen anymore.

Hustle Mates was primarily a collection of songs and dances from Soragumi history, with a few non-Takarazuka songs, MC sections, and mini skits thrown in. It's a tiny cast of 16, so if you like anyone in it you have a good chance of seeing her featured. Long-time Soragumi fans will likely find it very fun and nostalgic regardless. Sora leading a show about the history of Soragumi which contains a great number of songs with the word sora in them made it kind of sound like she was singing about herself for two hours, which greatly amused me (and apparently tickled Ishida-sensei too).

Act 1 opens with two original songs—the very upbeat Hustle Mates theme, and then more of a ballad (also with ample use of the word SORA)—followed by a selection of songs from some of the most well-known Soragumi musicals: Copacabana, Phantom, Top Hat, Singin' in the Rain, and an Elisabeth medley, which despite the general overuse of Elisabeth songs was still my favorite. Watashi Dake Ni was a group musumeyaku number, Mikaze Maira got to unleash her very impressive pipes on that last note. Saigo no Dance also started as a group otokoyaku number. Moeko entered partway through for a solo line, and I know she has the shinko Tod experience under her, but since I've never seen that, it was maybe the most surprising and powerful few seconds of Moeko I've ever witnessed. Then Sora came in to finish the song, and in some alternate universe where she's in a different class and tall enough to be a top star I'd sell both of my kidneys to see her Elisabeth every single day of the run. Sora solo Kitsch came next and was likewise flawless, so I guess I'll be satisfied with keeping my kidneys if they finally air that dang shinko in the next couple of months while Tsukigumi is playing.

Then we have a skit… I'm a bit fuzzy on exactly what went on in it, but I suspect I might be looking for sense where there was none. Setohana Mari enters dressed like a dominatrix, loudly cracking whip and all, with two other musumeyaku guards of Partial Time Prison. They do a roll call of past Soragumi characters who come out one by one and make meta jokes about themselves (discussing their offenses?) while the three guards smack them around. Sora is brought out last, as Lucheni, and gives a long speech, the punchline of which is he's on the path to reform thanks to his new life selling green juice mix in what is probably a pyramid scheme. Each performance she ad-libbed Louis and Marie Antoinette off the stage.

Moeko and Mineri who were playing Jose and Carmen in prison stick around to sing Temptation (GREAT song, I wanted a little more from these two) while the underclassmen get ready to sing Amapola a cappella conducted by Homare Seri. This was QUITE impressive, and I love it when they use Bow to give underclassmen little challenges like this. Act 1 ends with a medley of the Soragumi revue songs that got the most votes in the internet poll they ran a few months ago. They aren't listed individually in the program and I'm probably missing something, but off the top of my head I remember Millennium Challenger, Dancing For You, Funky Sunshine, Nice Guy, Phoenix Takarazuka, and Hot Eyes. Sora singing Funky Sunshine (SO—RA— POWER) was HIGHLY satisfying. They finish on Asu e no Energy, which still made me cry even though I JUST saw Citrus Breeze… but put my kid in the center of a song that always makes me cry anyway and I guess that's what you get.

Act 2 was less nostalgic and more interesting to me, probably because Sora's dance scenes multiplied significantly. They opened with a nihonmono medley, beginning with a Soran dance which I LOVED (the one from Viva Festa always gets me hyped too). Sora entered Takarazuka with a background in hip hop dance which I think always gives her movements a particular dynamic energy and a sharpness that sets her apart even from the other great Takarazuka dancers, but it stood out to me even more than usual in the Soran scene, probably in contrast to the traditional Japanese garb. I REALLY LOVED IT (even if I can imagine nichibu purists cringing). During my first two viewings of the show I was mostly overwhelmed and ecstatic that Sora had gotten a lead at all, but the last one, particularly in the Soran scene for whatever reason, it hit me HARD how much she's grown and how commanding and enthralling she is on stage.

After we spend a bit more time reliving Soragumi's very brief nihonmono history through song, there's a "rain corner" featuring a folk song that I rather like and a skit that made me feel COMPLEX THINGS. Mappu (Matsukaze Akira) plays some kind of rain god/wizard/???, in a whimsically decorated raincoat with two cute little ghosts hanging off her umbrella. Sora enters playing a guy out for a walk in the park in the rain where he meets a girl (Mineri) who lets him share her umbrella, and when the rain stops she asks him what he's doing in the park in the rain without one. BEAR WITH ME HERE: he explains he felt like coming to visit the spot where his dog Liza died, on a rainy day just like this one, after running away from their car (side note, I hope they named the dog Liza because Mineri's name is a play on Minelli?? Is it even?? There's a good ochakai question 6 days too late). He reminisces about all the tricks Liza could do, and Mineri imitates them. He shows her a picture of Liza, and surprisingly they're wearing the same dress?! It becomes evident that Mineri is actually the human form spirit of Sora's late pet, granted a few precious moments on earth by Rain Wizard Mappu to talk to her former owner, thank him, and say goodbye… she disappears with Mappu before Sora fully figures it out. HERE'S THE THING: As WTF?? as this entire concept is, Sora's acting was so damn heartbreaking I TEARED UP on the THIRD VIEWING even though I TOTALLY KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT?? I'm GENUINELY ANGRY that she took THIS SKIT and managed to MAKE ME CRY, and now I'm also praying to all the gods that this isn't her last lead, because I NEED to see her in a proper play with a proper partner. Where do I sacrifice the goats?

Next the whole team sings a song from Never Say Goodbye, leading up to Sora coming out for a solo barefoot dance, custom engineered to wound me as gravely as possible. Setohana Mari follows this up with an attempt at If I Were a Bell from Guys & Dolls, with brilliant all-in drunk acting but barely recognizable English (A for effort given the speed of the song though).

AND THEN

Okay. There's a rare special thing that I've now had the… fortune? I guess? of experiencing twice, that I hope you all get to experience someday, not because it's good or fun but just because it's An Experience. Sometimes there are secret little treats hidden in Takarazuka shows just for the foreigners. They're secret because I am pretty sure the directors have no idea what treats they are. And sometimes, through a combination of luck and the kindest friends, you make it to your first viewing with no spoilers, and a song starts playing that you recognize within half a note, and you begin having an experience so separate from every other person in the theater you feel as though you might as well be floating above the audience with all their disapproving gazes drilling into you, wondering what the heck you're doing up there when clearly the place for you is down here. The first time was when I waltzed unassuming into HOT EYES!! in an era when my feelings re: Soragumi were "I guess I have to watch them if I want to see Sora," and in my heart-pounding state of shock brought about by the first however many scenes Eye of the Tiger began to play, and out came involuntarily a VERY noticeable raspberry spit of quickly stifled laughter (before Makaze's everything shut me right the heck up).

The second was when amidst the polite applause following Secchan's Ding Dong Ding, the curtain rose on the remainder of the cast beginning a fiercely literal staging of the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody in English. There are so many things to unpack:

Mikaze Maira, playing a literal mother, opens the number by emotionally reading a literal letter from her literal son who has literally gone off to war

The others, with Sora in the center, are playing soldiers armed with sizable rifles, portraying the horrors of war via aggressive interpretive dance

Sora's English, while certainly not flawless, was SO PASSABLE, especially when compared to a) history in general and b) specifically Can't Take My Eyes Off of You from 2 years ago, I was FULLY SHOOK

Her dancing and acting in this number were SO FRIGGIN GOOD I could DIE

The performance overall was SO PASSIONATELY ACTED and thus SO DISTRESSING that people in the audience were CRYING from BEING MOVED to the point where later in the run they BEGAN SNIFFLING BEFORE THE NUMBER EVEN STARTED

It forced me for the first time in my life to sit down and hella contemplate the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody, the conclusion of which was a) yeah that sure was a 500% valid interpretation of the lyrics and b) there is absolutely no way I could ever begin to explain to a Japanese person why in my culture it's a FUNNY SONG

I was EXTRA TICKLED that Kotti, who can't speak above a whisper off stage, was the one who got to run up onto a box and scream SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STONE ME AND SPIT IN MY EYE

Every viewing my body shook so hard from the effort it took to keep myself from making any sort of noise I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in my row could feel the tremors and I am honestly still tired just thinking about it

If this is cut I’m making a GoFundMe for the rights. Everyone start saving now please.

As a palate cleanser, Mineri sings a pop ballad in a gorgeous gown before the proper kuroenbi to Ai, which is a song that has a lot of nostalgic value for me personally, making it a very emotional backdrop to Sora leading an otokoyaku dance with the top star sparkles on her tailcoat and hitting that final pose with a heart-shattering bang. They reprise the two original theme songs for the parade, and that's Hustle Mates.

Additional notes from my particular viewings: I had a lucky aisle seat where Hanaki Maia, who I'm pretty obsessed with, serenaded me, and Mappu gave me a great smile and a little hand squeeze in lieu of a high five. I am completely charmed by Kotti, she's like a Great Dane that grew up and still thinks it's a lap dog—striking otokoyaku on the outside and a sweet shy earnest inside that hasn't quite caught up yet. Senshuuraku should be the day that shows up on Sky Stage eventually, but in the Partial Time Prison scene Homare Seri (playing Rhett Butler) started a really awkward slow clap with the audience in an attempt to ad lib, then had no idea where she wanted to go with it so she just gave SoraLucheni a big hug, and Moeko got flustered, decided that was enough, and cut off everyone’s laughter and applause by stepping in front of the action and saying her next line as loudly as possible.

My raku seat was close range, and after watching Sora’s perfectly calculated facial expressions, and the tiny backlit beads of sweat flying off her brow as she danced her heart out in HER SHOW, I'd sit in lava for her I love her so deeply.

#takarazuka #reviews #hustle mates #might as well just tell people I live here

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thatlesbiannudistcult-stories · 6 years

Text

Finding Goddess (Chapter One)

Carol breathed deep as she watched the scene unfold before her eyes. It was beautiful in every way imaginable. A pretty girl with hair of gold and the face of an angel, wandering around the streets of some city in the Netherlands, wearing a big confident smile on her face, and nothing else. She moved with such an unearthly grace, wobbling her bubbly little behind sensuously to and fro as she walked, sneaking little caresses and tweaks on her perky little breasts, and acting like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.

It was enough to make Carol want to squeeze her own breasts. So she did. She ran her hands over her well-formed globes, reveled at how firm they felt in her grasp, and giggled at how ticklish her nipples had grown as they hardened against her palms.

The familiar tingles of electricity began to spark through her being, as did the warm wetness between her legs. It was time.

Carol's hand roamed down her body, gently stroking the tender flesh that was completely bereft of cloth. Tracing the orb of her boob, her trim flat stomach, and finally coming to rest in the dark thicket of hair where her treasure awaited. Already, she could feel her innards pulsing with anticipation, ready to accept the pleasure only her touch could provide. She ran her finger down her slit, gently prodded the nub of flesh protruding ever so slightly out of it, and—

"Hey, are you in here? I need to ask you something real...quick..."

—whipped her arm away as she involuntarily spun the chair around to gape in horror at the intruder. A person very familiar to Carol, who had just burst into her room without knocking, and was now looking at her, sitting at her computer, totally naked, visibly aroused, and very close to masturbating.

In most households, this wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary. It would have just been another page in the ongoing saga of parents catching their teenaged offspring in the act while they surfed the net looking at porn.

This was not a page in that saga. This was not a page in any saga Carol had ever read about. This was a whole other story entirely. For Carol was not the teenaged offspring in this household. She had not been the teenaged offspring of any household for quite some time actually. She was 42 years old, and the person who just so happened to catch her in the act was none other than her own teenaged offspring.

***

"And...? What happened then?"

"Mindy covered her eyes, apologized for barging in, and left. And I redressed myself. And we didn't speak of it ever again."

"Oh, Carol," said Henrietta as she rolled her eyes. "It seemed like as good a time as any to come out of the nudist closet to your daughters already."

"But it was clearly very uncomfortable for her!" said Carol. "I can't subject her and Erin to that kind of awkwardness in their own home."

"How did she look when she saw you?"

"Pardon me?"

"How did Mindy look when she saw you naked? Was she scandalized, sickened, angry, or what?'

"Well, I guess she...kind of had a smile on her face? And...I think maybe she choked back a laugh..."

"Then she didn't care," said Henrietta with a satisfied nod.

"Of course she cared! It was nervous laughter!"

"It may have been nervous, but laughter doesn't lie, Carol. It can mean many things: amusement, happiness, maybe slight discomfort, but never nausea, pain, or hostility. And you said it yourself earlier: Mindy hugged you and gave you a kiss this morning just before she left as if nothing happened. She saw her mother naked, and she didn't care. So why should you?"

"Because it...it would be awkward, especially if it was more than a one-off thing!" said Carol. "And even in the remote chance that it wasn't, then it most definitely would be for Erin too if she ever found out."

"I doubt that," said Henrietta. "And she's probably already found out anyway. There are no secrets between twins, hon. Knowing them, they're probably both laughing about it this very instant. Alongside the rest of their friends who they've likely just told. Catching you naked is probably going to be the talk of that whole trip for them!"

"Ugh, can we not talk about this anymore?" Carol groaned before she downed the glass of orange juice that she now secretly wished was wine. "It's really putting me out of the mood."

"As you wish," said Henrietta as she got up from her chair and rounded the table so she could stand behind her girlfriend and take a nice firm grip on her boobs. Her large bouncy boobs that were completely bare, like the rest of Carol's body. "Though if your tits are anything to go by, you may be more in the mood now than ever. Nipples don't lie either, you know."

"No, I suppose they...don't," said Carol as her lover tenderly massaged her lady mounds. It was true; talking about last night's 'incident' really wasn't putting a damper on her at all. She was just as aroused now as she had been since she threw her clothes off a couple hours ago. "Mmmm, that's so nice."

These were the times Caroline Connors lived for. Lounging around her home without a stitch of clothing on her body, and a charming lady to keep her company. She didn't get many opportunities like this. Work and taking care of two girls by herself meant she had to spend more time than she liked fully dressed, so she cherished every moment she could afford to be in the buff. And now that her girls were going away for a week-long trip with their friends, she had every intention of spending every possible minute of that time the way she was meant to be: naked as the day she was born.

"You like that?" said Henrietta before she gave Carol a kiss on the neck. "You like feeling my hands on your breasts, with not a strip of cloth between them?"

"Mmm, yeah, I do. I love it. I love feeling your hands on my breasts...yes, just like that. I love how you squeeze them. I love how you rub them. I love how you tweak my nipples—oh! Yes, just like that."

"I know you do, love," said Henrietta as she gently pulled at Carol's breasts, coaxing her to stand up. The mother obliged, pushing herself up to her feet with liquid-like grace to show off the rest of her curvy figure. The smile on the still-clothed woman's lips widened just a bit more as she saw her lover's round derriere come into view, jiggling slightly with the movement. "You love to be naked, don't you?"

"I do," said Carol as she leaned back into her, surrendering herself to Henrietta's mercy. "More than anything in the world."

Henrietta ran a hand softly down Carol's form, kneading her fingers gently into the nudist's shivering flesh as she inched ever so lovingly closer to her crotch. "I bet you'd be like this all the time if you could."

"I would," said Carol, stiffening as her lover's finger brushed against the hair of her bush. "I'd be naked all the time if I could. I wouldn't even own any clothes!"

"You'd be naked forever, wouldn't you?" said Henrietta as she ran a finger down the groove of Carol's sex, curling it ever so slightly at the end, prodding the sensitive flesh within.

"I would!" gasped Caroline, pushing her hips forward in an effort to thrust her lover deeper inside of her. "There's nothing I want more than to be naked forever!"

Henrietta sunk a finger inside her.

"And ever!"

Her thumb found Carol's clit and began to encircle it.

"And ever! Ah-AHHHHH!"

Carol's orgasm came fast. Her body jolted in Henrietta's arms with every wet gush she unleashed. It was very unbecoming of a nudist to be so turned on by her own nudity, to be so sexual with it, but Carol couldn't help it; it was very arousing to just be without clothes. And the thought of going for such long amounts of time without them on her body was the most erotic thing she could imagine. If only it were possible...

"And what if I were to tell you," said Henrietta, still speaking in that husky whispering voice of hers, "that it were actually possible?"

Still reeling from her sexual high, and feeling a little limp with only her lover's support keeping her on her feet, Carol merely half-giggled: "I'd ask 'how?'"

Henrietta guided the naked woman back into her chair before she answered, running a hand affectionately down her back and along her rump for good measure. "Well, I'd say it would involve getting into the car with me and driving up to New Deastone for starters."

"Huh? New Deastone?" That wasn't the kind of thing Carol expected to hear amidst their dirty talk. Heck, that didn't sound like dirty talk at all.

Henrietta returned to her seat at the other end of the table. "I'm saying that we should take a road trip to New Deastone tomorrow."

"That's about two hours away," said Carol. "What reason could we possibly have to go to that city?"

"I just told you," said Henrietta.

"You didn't say anything," Carol huffed, growing annoyed by her friend's sudden coyness. What kind of game was Henrietta playing?

Henrietta rolled her eyes playfully. "Are you going senile already? I said that if we went to New Deastone, then it just might be possible we'll find a way to make you naked forever."

"Oh, yeah, that. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what the joke is." She waited for Henrietta to grace her with a response. She didn't, save for a long unblinking stare and a prolonged smile on her face. "Wait, are you being serious?"

"I am."

"That's ridiculous!"

"I thought so too. But I saw it with my own eyes when I was there last week. Women just walking around the streets without anything on. Pretty ones too, might I say. You'd like them. I know I did."

"It was probably just a publicity stunt or something. You know how I get off on those nude in public things."

Henrietta's smile seemed to falter, and for a moment, even she started to look unsure. But like a rubber band, it snapped back into place just as quickly. "Maybe it was...but I was able to talk to them for a few minutes anyway. I asked them if they were afraid of getting arrested, and they said it was fine, that their particular 'brand' of nudity was legal. One girl even told me that she had been going six months straight without wearing any clothes."

"Six months naked?" How could anyone have a naked streak last that long? Carol was lucky if she could get a whole 24 hours. "And you actually believed that?"

"I can't say if I know for sure if it's true. But what if it actually is, Carol? What if there really is a place where you can go naked anywhere and everywhere for as long as you like, and that it was only a stone's throw away?"

"A two-hour drive is not what I'd call a stone's throw away, Henri."

"That's not the point! The point, Carol, is doesn't that make you at least a little curious? Wouldn't you want to see what's going on in New Deastone that would allow public nudity? Don't you want to see if your dream is actually possible?"

"It's not possible and you know it isn't," said Carol with a sigh. She loved to be naked, but she had to be realistic. "Besides, it's still a long ways off. This is going to be the longest time I'll ever have the house to myself, and the longest number of days that I can enjoy full nudity. I don't want to waste them on a road trip where I'll have to put clothes on again."

Henrietta's smile took an almost devilish turn. "Then don't wear them."

Carol blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Don't wear them. Just get in the car as you are Carol, butt-naked, and go to New Deastone with me like that."

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Come on, Carol! Where's the naughty girl you told me about who would gleefully go on streaking dares at college? Where's the little she-devil who attended her classes wearing only a raincoat with nothing underneath? Where's the playful exhibitionist who would conveniently 'lose' her bikini on the water slide?"

"She got a job, married, widowed, a couple kids, and had to become responsible," said Carol with a sad sigh. God, she missed those days of reckless youth where she didn't care what polite society had to say about the female body in its natural state. Everything felt so free then—not as free as she would like them to be, but more than they ever had been before and after. Now the most she could do was be nude at home with what few hours she had to herself.

That, and go everywhere without wearing any underwear whatsoever.

"Carol honey, live a little!" said Henrietta. "Being cooped up in this house all weekend is no fun on our time off when we could do something exciting for once. Go to the big city, look for naked chicks, see how long we can keep YOU naked..." She got up from her seat again and sauntered back over to Carol, shoving the nude woman's chair back so she could straddle her lap and sit with her. "Don't you think that'd be really sexy?"

Carol wanted to say no, but a pelvic thrust from her clothed lover into her bare crotch snuffed it out. And she knew it would have been a lie anyway. Going to the city naked and putting herself as far away from her clothes as she could, was an incredibly sexy prospect. As was the prospect of seeing real living girls walking around in the actual naked flesh. It was something she would have killed for.

And...if it really is possible for me to be legally nude...

No it wasn't. Of course it wasn't, and Carol would be foolish to even consider it.

But she would never stop fantasizing over it. She would never stop dreaming about it. She would never stop wanting it. And with Henrietta grinding her form on Carol, stimulating her, exciting her, making her heat rise...she knew she would never stop getting off on it.

The image of her running stark naked through the city streets never left Caroline's head even after she all but carried her lover to the bedroom where they would continue their tryst in a more comfortable location.

#Finding Goddess #Carol #zenrist #zenrism

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minijenn · 6 years

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Tears Without a Reason

“Stonemason?” Dipper said as he looked around the empty room that was his mind. There was no sign of his darker companion. He bit his lip in worry. Ever since they found out the truth of Dipper and Stonemason’s condition, Stonemason had been far less active in his everyday life. Before, Stonemason would appear randomly in conversation. After weeks of acceptance, everyone seemed to like him. If you asked them, of course, they would be reluctant to say that they loved the part of Dipper that tried to kill them, but it was easy see. But now…

“Where are you? I wanted to talk to you!” Dipper shouted. It was true. He wanted to talk to Stonemason about… well… the conclusion they found out. It was like it threw weeks of Stonemason trying to be nice and accepting towards his family out the window. The worst part was his darker side of him wouldn’t even talk in his dreams. What used to be a time when both sides could come to understand each other had become a time when Dipper would look over and see Stonemason, his back turned towards him, silent and unhappy.

Now, he wasn’t even there. Maybe he was somewhere else in his mind. But where could he be?

As if on cue, a door appeared. It didn’t take long for Dipper to realize the door led to not just the rest of his mind, but also his memories. This had to be Stonemason’s doing. Dipper never thought that Stonemason would go in there, but someone within Dipper’s mind had to have made the door appear. Why would Stonemason hide but also show the way to find him, unless he was waiting for Dipper?

“Come on,” Dipper groaned, not at all angry but tired. “You have to give me something more than that to find you.”

It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. He sighed before deciding to enter his memories, searching for his darker counterpart.

——————–

Stonemason rose slowly from Dipper’s bed, careful not to wake up Dipper in the process. He scanned the room around him. Mabel was sound asleep, as was everyone else in the house. Satisfied with the conditions, he swung his legs so that he was sitting on the side of his bed, before he stretched his right arm and grabbed something gingerly underneath their pillow.

When he pulled it out, he held it in his hands. He visibly shuddered as he looked down at it. It was the memory gun. For nights now, he had taken the memory gun and altered it as to do the desired effect. However, it was still a terrifying thought for him. Stonemason looked over at Mabel with a neutral expression. He thought of how this would affect her. Affect the Mystery Kids… Affect Dipper. What had once been a reluctant alliance had become something more. Though he cursed himself for saying it, he cared. He felt a connection towards Dipper. He could almost compare it to the connection brothers had. What he felt towards the rest was friendship.

Was what he was doing worth it? Maybe Mabel was right. Maybe there was another way to get the programming out of his head. To get the song out of his head. And what did this solution cause? Confusion and heartbreak, that’s what. Was this really what he wanted? Or was he ashamed that he didn’t want to leave?

“It doesn’t matter how you feel,” he scolded himself in a hushed voice. “What matters is that this is for the greater good. This is what you get for all you’ve done!”

He let out a heavy sigh. Once the gun is fired, Stonemason would have a few minutes in the Mindscape to explain everything and say his goodbyes to Dipper. Apparently, time in the mind was slow enough that he would have time to talk, but if Dipper tried to wake up, it would be too late to stop. There would be no going back. Searching his shared mind, he found Dipper was close to the memories that was where he planned on saying his goodbyes.

With a steely resolve, he stood up from the bed and went in the middle of the room. Quickly, he entered the words, “GOOD STONEMASON”. It was a stupid name, but it was the only way to weed out the many different memories of him. His hand shook as he put the memory gun against the side of his head. He let out a quiet unhappy laugh. He started his redemption hating himself. He wouldn’t have hesitated in doing this. Now, he didn’t want to press the trigger.

“Dipper?” A quiet voice murmured, causing Stonemason to pause and turn around. Of course Mabel had to wake up right at this moment. Now, it would only make things more difficult.

Mabel stood up in her pajamas, fear on her face. “S-Stonemason? What are you doing?!”

He took a deep breath. “I can’t get the programming out of my head. This is the only way!”

“You can’t do this! We can help you!” Mabel countered, tears in her eyes.

“So what?! Stop acting like you actually care about me!” Stonemason replied, finally revealing his thoughts. “Once you get rid of the programming, you will want to get rid of me. I’m just saving you a step!”

“That’s not true!” Mabel said, getting as worked up as Stonemason was. “Maybe it was in the beginning, but… you’re so different! You care about us. You care about me, though you don’t like to admit it, and none of us like to admit we care about you… none of us… except for me… It doesn’t matter what we say. We all care about you.”

Stonemason looked down at his feet, “It doesn’t matter,” he answered slowly. “Once I leave, you all will act like I never happened, whether you like it or not. This is my punishment…”

He put the gun against his head again with a new resolve. “N-no! Wait!!! STOP!!!” Mabel pleaded as she ran towards Stonemason to take the memory gun away. Unfortunately, it was too late.

“And I accept it readily!” As the gun fired, everything went white, but not before he heard Mabel one last time, crying out to him.

——————–

“A memory of the Mindscape inside of the Mindscape…” Dipper mused when he opened up a memory door. He gazed in wistfully. It seemed like years since he first talked to Stonemason in the white room of his mind. He watched the memory play out, the two personas talking and explaining their lives while trying to understand the other.

“The first time we actually talked.” Dipper turned to find Stonemason a little ways down the hallway, a sad look in his eye.

“There you are. I wanted to talk to you,” Dipper said sadly. “I want you to know that it’s not your fault. I’ve been blaming myself for many weeks for what happened and trying not to relive it, but I never realized you have to relive those memories everyday of your life.”

“What I’m saying is that we will find a way to get the programming out of your head, no matter what.”

Stonemason was silent for a while, before he shook his head. “Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. What happened to you was beyond bad. Am I the great equalizer to that bad? Is this my punishment?”

“What do you mean?” Dipper asked, confused.

“I am not a good person. I am bad. I forced you to do those things. Is this my punishment?” Stonemason replied. “I learn to care about you and your family, only to learn I have to leave? Is that my punishment?”

“You’re not leaving,” Dipper said firmly.

“But I am, Dipper,” his dark counterpart responded. “It is the only way. I forced you to kill your family. Now I am forced to leave.”

“What are you talking about?”

“There is no way to get rid of the song, Dipper. I am corrupted, permanently. The only way to get rid of corruption is the purge it.”

“But… what will happen to you?” Dipper asked, concerned and unhappy.

A sad smile appeared on Stonemason’s face. “It doesn’t matter. Soon, I will only be a bad memory. Every hero needs a nemesis, and I am willing to be remembered as such, when I am gone.”

Dipper’s eyes widened as he realized what this meant and immediately, he knew what Stonemason had done. At this realization, Dipper started to run towards his dark counterpart as if he could stop the erasing of his memories. “WAIT!!!”

Unfortunately, something held him back. As he looked behind him, he noticed that he was chained to the door of the memory he had just looked through. Despite this, Dipper tried to wrestle out of the cuff around his left arm. However, when he finally tired and landed on his knees, he lifted his head in horror as he watched one of the doors open. Upon looking inside, he saw his memory of Stonemason’s talk with Mabel.

However, it changed. Dipper’s body seemed to glitch a bit as the two Diamond pupils of Stonemason were replaced with Dipper’s eyes. Already, Dipper started to forget how the original memory was as the words of the memory changed, Stonemason’s thoughts and words becoming Dipper’s in an instant before Stonemason was completely wiped out of the memory.

Dipper kneeled as he heard more of the doors open, changing just as that memory had. He didn’t need to see the change. He could feel it in his mind. Stonemason bonding with Steven changed to Dipper talking and trying to reconnect with his old friend. Stonemason arguing with Pacifica with secret admiration was erased altogether.

It was too much for Dipper. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he didn’t care. He held his head in his hands as he felt more of his memories change or be erased.

“STOP!!!” He cried out, agony from losing his newly-made friend and constant companion. “I DON’T WANT TO FORGET YOU!”

To Dipper’s surprise, he felt hands clasp around his hands push his head up. He opened his eyes to find Stonemason there. What caught Dipper’s attention amidst the changing and erasing of memories in his mind was that Stonemason wasn’t wearing his Yellow Diamond outfit anymore. Rather, he wore the same clothing Dipper did. What also struck him was the fact that tears were also streaming down Stonemason’s face. For the first time, he saw his dark counterpart cry.

A bittersweet smile appeared on Stonemason’s face as he closed his eyes and put his forehead against Dipper’s. “It was nice to care about you, Dipper Pines. I’m sorry I was the worst thing to come out of this mess.”

“You were the best thing to come out of this mess,” Dipper replied, as more of his memories changed. He could already sense his perception change towards Stonemason.

Before Dipper could say anything else, his counterpart’s body started to glow and broken into glowing pieces, as if he were made out of fireflies, rather than having an actual body. Stonemason was no more.

There was one last memory left. The chain around Dipper’s left arm started to melt away as the door it connected to started to disappear. Dipper took one last look at the memory. The last thing he had left of his unlikely friend. Their deal. Their promise. Soon, it dissolved into nothingness. The only memories left of Stonemason in Dipper’s mind made Stonemason look like an enemy. Now, he was like the boogeyman in Dipper’s mind. The darkness to his light. His dark side. Someone who tried to kill his friends and family. Someone with no possibility of redemption.

Shortly after, Dipper woke up standing up with the memory gun beside his head. Mabel looked at him with a fearful expression, her eyes welling up with tears, threatening to spill over.

There, Dipper stood for a long time, crying and sobbing, yet not knowing why.

#universe falls #sumbission #submission #AH FUCK THIS HURT ME #DAMN GREAT JOB WOW #OUCH THOUGH WHO COULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT WE'D ALL BY CRYING OVER STONEMASON WO W #uf fan fics

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once-upon-a-ouat · 6 years

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OUAT Rewatch 1x15 “Red-handed”

The writers decided to make a masterpiece and we caught them red-handed (I should really stop this). To differ from my pun, the episode was just awesome and provided the same engaging experience as the first time I watched it. It was actually better this time around because with the knowledge of how the story plays out, you can see all the hints you missed on your first watch.

Red is such an awesome character and we see her go through so many phases (not of the moon though) in just one episode. Her romance with Peter was super adorable and the tragic end of it was just as jarring as the first time if not even more now that we know how much it affected Red. I loved how the writers misled us by making Peter say that he’d huff and puff, alluding that he’s the wolf, all so that the twist at the end could hit us even stronger. The fact that Granny was against their romance didn’t upset me as much as the first time because she had her reasons. Besides, without obstacles coming between them, we never would’ve seen to what lengths they were ready to go for each other. I loved how “I’d do anything for you” was their “I will always find you”. The playful banter between the two was also adorable to watch. But they showed that they were serious in their feelings when they faced difficulty (a.k.a thinking that Peter was the wolf). Their romance had solid foundation and was properly established which made it believable.

I absolutely loved the friendship between Red and Snow. It developed quickly but naturally and never came off as unbelievable. That first scene between them also revealed more of Red’s character. Her kindness and readiness to help a stranger make you love her immediately. I loved the fake name Snow chose for herself. That was very cool and it actually makes sense for the Curse to give them names that they would pick for themselves. Anyway, back to one of the cutest friendships this show has to offer, I just loved the girl talk between them. It was cool to see that even amidst all the chaos of the hostile world they live in, they still find time to be just girls. I think that was very important and, seeing how later on the show the characters often didn’t have time to be just humans because they were busy saving the town from impending doom every other day, I’m glad we got to see it. I loved Snow and Red’s determination to hunt down the wolf even though they were both scared of it. The trust that was built between the two so quickly was simply heartwarming and it justified Snow’s decision to go with Red.

I loved Granny in the flashback although she really made a wrong choice. There’s that fierce vibe to her that I just can’t help but love. She’s a strong-willed no-nonsense survivor and I really admire that. I also absolutely loved that she acknowledged the fact that her wrong choice had cost many lives. You rarely see the heroes own up to the mistakes they’ve made (but that rant will come into portions as we keep going with this rewatch). I found the lore in this episode particularly interesting and I also didn’t find any holes in it. There was a backstory inside the backstory but I think it actually worked quite well. Granny’s story didn’t deter the villagers from going after the wolf though. I can’t help but wonder how come none of the villagers have thought of Red’s idea – to go after the wolf in the daytime? Not that they would’ve found anything but still. I’m also curious as to how the marriage between Granny and Red’s grandfather worked out. It is heavily implied here that Granny hates the whole werewolf thing so I don’t imagine she was very fond of her husband which could give some insight into the person that she’s become. Also, could she control the wolf? In 2x07 Anita told Red that if you tried to fight the wolf, it would take over. I don’t really think Granny was too terribly happy with being a werewolf and I would bet my money on her fighting it every time and therefore losing control. I have more thoughts on this that are quickly morphing into a fanfiction idea but this paragraph is already long as hell so I’ll just leave it off here. One last question though – how did Granny explain Red’s absence to the villagers (and yes, I realize that is not of great importance; I’m just curious)?

I really enjoyed Ruby and Granny’s relationship in Storybrooke. The tension really escalated during that first scene between them but you have to admit that the sass was hella amusing (August’s face at Ruby’s comment about Norman Bates tho). I feel for Granny because Ruby’s outburst really hurt her but I also admire Ruby for having the courage to leave. Especially after it was revealed that she didn’t think she could do anything. Leaving is hard enough, but leaving when you’re full of insecurities and don’t believe in yourself is even harder. And we saw that they were both unhappy with the changes but neither of them wanted to admit it. That last scene between them was adorable but I’ll talk about it later.

Ruby’s journey of finding herself and overcoming her insecurities was really inspiring to watch. What I loved about it was that it didn’t come to a solid end because these journeys are never actually over for any of us. The doubts are present throughout our whole lives and being able to overcome them is what makes humans such fascinating beings. I loved that Emma was a part of Ruby’s journey (especially having in mind her reaction when Mary Margaret offered Ruby a place to stay). She helped her and it was nice to return to the idea of her being the Savior (‘cause she hasn’t done much saving in those past few episodes).

I really didn’t like the ‘well-deserved’ part of Emma’s comment and maybe she was trying to prepare Mary Margaret for what was about to come but I still didn’t like it. In this episode Emma interacted more with David but there still isn’t a relationship established between them and that annoys me a little bit. But on the other hand, it kinda makes sense because Snow was essentially the one to make the decision to put Emma in the wardrobe. David wanted them to keep her but she convinced him to take Emma to the wardrobe. So their relationship serves both as a way to make up for it and as a punishment because her daughter is right there with her but she doesn’t know it. The more you think about it, the more fucked up and terrifying the Curse becomes. Btw, there’s no way Regina didn’t know that Emma and Henry were spending time together. Even if they thought they were being sneaky.

David’s ‘condition’ kind of came out of nowhere. After he woke up from his coma, he ‘blacked out’ because he didn’t have cursed memories and he was intuitively searching for Snow. But now that he’s got his cursed memories that doesn’t really make sense to me. I don’t remember if they gave any further explanation of that so I’m not gonna put it in the plot holes column just yet.

What was Mary Margaret doing at the town line? She looked surprised and a bit startled to find David there which leaves us with no explanation as to what she was actually doing out there. Or did I miss something? It was cute that she believed in him and that he hadn’t done anything wrong but it was also heartbreaking because you know he’s not going to do the same. Once again and a bit in advance - dammit, David!

That twist in the end though. But I have some questions regarding that. When did Regina steal Mary Margaret’s jewelry box? Because if she stole it, say, the previous day, Mary Margaret should’ve noticed it was missing. That doesn’t really matter that much though. What I’m more interested in is where Regina got the human heart from if there were no other missing people. It can’t have been from her vault because those hearts are all glowy and enchanted, y’know. So where did she find a human heart?

Favorite scene: Ruby and Granny’s reconciliation. It was such a moving scene and it was great to see them working it out. And the whole fight was kind of triggered by a misunderstanding. But they both explained where they were coming from and the problem was resolved. I loved how Ruby admitted that she admired her grandmother and was afraid that she couldn’t be like her. And the “Proud of you”. It melted my heart. On a side note, how does Granny think she got that scar? In 1x07 Gold said there were no wolves in Storybrooke, so...?

Least favorite scene: The scene in the hospital. The whole explanation for David’s condition didn’t really make sense to me. Regina came barging in and started behaving in the cringiest way possible. It was the worst scene of the episode in my opinion.

Favorite line: “Well, I am [scared], but it’s okay. I can do it anyway. I sort of found someone in myself that was more than I expected.” - Ruby to Granny

Least favorite line: Okay, not a line, but I didn’t really like the look David gave Mary Margaret at the end of the episode.

I absolutely loved this episode. The last ten minutes you just watch and cry. The story was awesome but also very creepy and I loved both the twist in the past and that in the present. I honestly loved the horror vibe of the episode. I remember watching it for the first time and thinking “Holy shit! Don’t tell me there’s a human heart in that box... FUCK!”. I think Megan Ory’s performance was incredible. The soundtrack was once again amazing. This is definitely one of my favorite episodes of the whole show and one of my favorite twists. I can’t wait to see how dark the next episode will be.

P.S. I have a name day today and I’ve decided to celebrate by watching two episodes. So there's another review coming from me today.

#ouat rewatch #once upon a time #ouat #sea #1x15 #red-handed #operation end

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