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#WHERE ILL BE LOOKING IN THEIR EYES WHEN THEYRE DOWN

joppin · 2 years

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never before in my life have i understood i bet on losing dogs so well in my life

#i pay for my place by the ring where ill be looking in their eyes when theyre down fml fml kms kms kms kms kms #also paper bag by fiona apple #also dreams by fleetwood mac

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norrizzandpia · 8 months

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can we get pt 2 of 34+35 where yn releases nonsense or positions, everyone is more confused because are we talking about the same guy?? in response all yn does is mention his thighs 💀💀

YES MAAM OFC I LOVE THIS STORYLINE

WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n always loved to mess with the fans. Fortunately, the best way to do that is spill their sex life.

Warnings: sexual conversations, language

Note: THE THIGHS 😫😫😫😫😫 SO MANY WORDS NOT ENOUGH TIME 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

ynnn Nonsense out now! 💋

Comments:

osc81fan I- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

piaosc ARE WE SURE ALL OF US ARE TALKING ABT THE CORRECT MAN?

- mclarenpiaandlan YEAH WTF HOW IS THIS OSCAR

mclarensgirlll SHE DID THIS LAST TIME AND WE NEVER RECOVERED

- landonorris ILL NEVER RECOVER.

oscarpiastri ITS ABOUT MEEEEEEEE 🤭🤭

- danielricciardo we are aware.

- maxverstappen i think youve said that enough

- charlesleclerc YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE LITTLE OSCAR 😰😰😰

- ynnn definitely not LITTLE oscar 😏

- alexalbon STOP.

——

ynnn maybe i lied? Lookin’ at him doesn’t have me thinkin’ nonsense, it has me thinkin…

Comments:

oscarpiastri my girlfriend everyone 😀

- mclarensgirlll hes probably giggling at his phone at this very moment

- landonorris and youd be right!

maxverstappen IM SO SCARED FOR MY LIFE

- danielricciardo WE CANT ESCAPE IT

- alexalbon HE PLAYS THE SONGS EVERYWHERE

- landonorris IT NEVER ENDS.

ln4andop81 anyone else curious abt what shes going to say on that podcast next week where theyre infamous for asking abt sex????

- oscpastry i bet you oscar will forever be changed for us

- mclarensgirlll he already is 🥲

——

TWITTER

ln4andop81 IN HONOR OF 24 HOURS BEFORE Y/NS PODCAST EPISODE, DROP THE MOST SHOCKING LYRICS FROM NONSENSE DOWN BELOW

- oscpastry “you said you like my eyes and you like the make em roll” SOOOO BASICALLY WHEN WERE THOSE WORDS FALLING FROM OUR BABY’S LIPS????

- mclarenpiaandlan REAL BECAUSE HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS 😭😭

- mclarensgirlll I THINK THE LYRIC “opposite of soft” LET US KNOW HE IS WAYYYY MORE EXPERIENCED THAN WE THOUGHT

- piaosc DOM OSCAR????? FUCKING HOW. IN. WHAT. WORLD.

- ynnn this world! 💋

- piaosc IS THIS SOME SORT OF GAME???

- mclarenpiaandlan THE PATTERN IS PATTERNING

- mclarensgirlll ITS SO ICONIC MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT

——

TWITTER

ln4andop81 hows everyone doing after that podcast….

- mclarensgirlll “WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI?” trending on twitter makes me feel less alone after listening to Y/n’s tell all

- mclarenpiaandlan host: “whats your favorite body part of oscar’s?” Y/n: “his thighs” BY THEN I ALREADY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING BUT THE HOST HAD TO KEEP GOING host: *giggling* “why?” Y/n: “10 out of 10 for riding” I THINK MY BRAIN WENT DEAD FOR A SEC

- piaosc GIRLY KEPT GOING TOO host: “did you ask or, like, how did that come about?” Y/n: “well, he was just kind of sitting there, manspread ya know, and he caught on the minute he saw the way i was looking at him. Ive never see him so excited before.” *laughing* “i think he enjoys it more than me!”

- ln4andop81 no words. Host: “so he knows you like his thighs?” Y/n: “Oh my god, yeah! I hate him for it but he purposefully wears his shortest pair of shorts around the house so when he sits, that’s all I see. I’m telling you, Oscar knows how much I love his body and he knows EXACTLY how to use it.” Host: “what do you mean?” Y/n: “just that the shirtless photo i posted of him is one of many and the rest of them could not be up on the internet for longer than 5 seconds before being taken down because they’re borderline all pornographic” OSCAR???? BABY BOY??? WHO ARE YOU.

- mclarensgirlll BRO AND THEN host: “your new song, Nonsense, mentions things being more rough than soft. Is that really true with him?” Y/n: “Are you kidding?! The fans who think he’s super innocent and pure are in for some serious whiplash when i say that he is anything but that. He’s not Oscar when we’re in bed. He’s some alter ego who has no problem fucking against a random wall.” UHHHHHHHHHHH RUE WHEN WAS THIS????

- oscarpiastri now THAT is one thing i wont be answering 😊

- ynnn knowing myself ill probably reveal it in some song in the future 🤦🏼‍♀️

- mclaren maybe try and hold off on that one plz bestie 😙

- landonorris ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^🙏🏻

- danielricciardo ^^

- alexalbon ^^^

- maxverstappen ^

- charlesleclerc ^^^^

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tangerinesilk · 8 months

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－ DISTRACTION : DAVE LIZEWSKI

dave was a great study buddy, but there's no doubt he was a distraction. he constantly made you turn your head twice at whatever he said or did whether it was some comic book character he rambled about or how his pale blue eyes shined under the warm lighting of his desk lamp.

pairing ✷ college!dave lizewski x college!fem!reader

rating ✷ r (18+ minors dni!)

tropes ✷ friends with benefits, spicy but no / little plot, unspoken love, domestic toward eachother but no dating, dorky and awkward people in love who just wont admit it theyre in love (sort of) | nsfw warnings below!

word count ✷ 1.7k

a/n ✷ um this was a random thought and it just sort of happened. stg it feels like i blacked out while writing this KSKFFKS what is going on with me. anyways been wanting to write about this cute dork for a while and why not make it really hot. posting now so i dont chicken out but ill edit later.... i always love feedback! xo

[ steamy warnings: mentions of public sex, dom & sub switches, p in v without protection, nipple play, hj + bj, f receiving oral from m, praising + heavy dirty talk, face sitting, finishing inside v ]

typical weekends: saturday night at dave's apartment.

dave was explaining something... it was something. something important, but all you could focus on was his pretty eyes and how soft his lips looked today. he pushed his glasses up more on his nose bridge again, looking down at his book for one of his college classes.

he was so into the subject, you didn't even have to nod. you were occasionally tapping the eraser end of your pencil against your blank notebook, only listening to every other word.

suddenly, your mind wanders to when you two were doing laundry at three in the morning and got a little spontaneous. then getting a bit handsy on the top floor of the library where no one usually was. maybe even the time when you were visiting him back home for one weekend and you both could barely keep it together with company downstairs.

ever since you both agreed on this friends with benefits agreement, your dry spells were no longer an issue. it seemed like both of you were touched starved, but not wanting to meet other people, strangers you didnt want or need to know.

so, after becoming lab partners in your fall semester of senior year, its been nonstop seeing each other. not just for sex, but hanging out to study, going to local comic book stores and libraries, even the occasional dinner and sleepover combo at his apartment or yours.

it seemed like a wild card at first, but you would never admit (outloud) to dave lizewski that you underestimated how great his tongue felt inside your pus—

"y/n, are you even listening?"

you cleared your throat, "hmm?"

he chuckled, "so you weren't... i know, its kind of boring."

now you felt bad, caught up from going down memory lane and he was excited about his new class.

you ran your hand over his curls, "im sorry, dave. my mind was wandering."

he turned, seeming interested, "about what?"

you felt the heat rise to your cheeks, "about... you know..." you trailed then shrugged, "stuff."

dave smiled, "oh yeah? you weren't, i dont know, thinking about me?"

you had seen this confidence grow inside dave as more time passed, and you weren't sure if it was cockiness, but you couldn't deny how cute yet attractive it was on him.

"why dont you go back to what you were rambling about? please. im all ears now." you lean in, placing your hands underneath your chin with your elbows on his desk.

its ironic how his full size bed was behind the two of you yet here you are, acting like this was the first time you've hung out.

he pressed wet kisses against your inner thighs, your clit aching for his mouth as his nose brushed against your skin. he'd let out a nervous chuckle as he noticed the wet spot forming on the center of your panties. you'd bite your bottom lip as he licked his lips, in awe of the mess you were for him.

dave pulled down your panties, shuffling them down your ankles before tossing them to the side. his strong hands run up the top of your thighs before holding your hips, pulling your core closing to his mouth. after his first, yet hesitant, kiss on your clit, you let out a faint moan.

soon his tongue was running over your open slit and tasting your sweet wetness. you arched your back, leaning back on his desk as he flicked your clit a few times. when he pushes his tongue inside you, a rush of heat runs over your entire body. you caress your own breasts and pull at your own nipples as he picks up his pace.

"fuck... god, yes. eat my fucking pussy." you whimpered. he got so weak when you uttered your sweet nothings. as dominant as he thought he presented himself, dave was a sucker for you.

just when you thought it couldn't get better, he slide his two fingers into your slit as his tongue flicks your swollen clit. you told him how you love when he curled his fingers inside you, knuckle deep and gathering your wetness every pump as he brought you closer to your orgasm.

your hips grind against his mouth and hand, painfully near your climax. he cursed under his breath as he felt your pussy clench around his digits. he pulls his mouth away from your clit, trailing more kisses over your stomach then rolls his tongue against your right nipple.

his hand still worked your slit, thrusting so fast that your head was spinning along with the pleasure of him sucking your erect nipple. you glanced down, seeing how his hard pressed against his khakis. just the thought of taking his cock into your mouth made you dizzy, bucking your hips against his fingers.

"yes... make me cum. i wanna fucking cum on your fingers." you muttered under your breath, pulling at his curls. dave's knees were giving out as he held his position but he loved to hear your continous begging.

he was about to see if he could pick up his pace before your hand reached down, sliding into the front of his stained pants and caressing his hard cock. he grunted against your chest, instantly weak from your touch which made him pause.

"hmm, what about i cum on your cock instead?" you giggled as your lips met his, "it's so hard... bet you've been thinking about cumming inside my tight pussy, huh, dave?"

he sighed, "shit..."

"that's what i thought, baby." you say before taking his fingers into your mouth, tasting your own cum. he takes a mental picture even though you've done this in your previous hookups.

you hop off the desk, playfully pushing him on his twin size bed. you slowly get on your knees, running your hand over the crotch of his pants that were already unbuttoned and half unzipped. it's easy for your pull his cock out, practically springing from his briefs.

his eyes are glued to you as your tongue runs up and down the base before wrapping your lips against his red tip. you half-giggle when you taste his pre-cum, then carefully take him all in your mouth. you gag a bit as his tip pushes further in, and he groans when your throat tightens around him.

you push your tongue out to make sure your teeth dont graze his cock as you deep throat him, incredibly slow, so he can watch in awe. he leans up on his elbows, falling apart as you take him in your mouth so easily and your hand pumping the rest of his base.

"fucking christ... fuck." he muttered, his dick twitching inside your mouth as your salvia runs down when you gag on his hard.

his hand runs over your hair, gathering it together to keep it out of your face— also to have a better view of him receiving one of the best blowjobs you've given him.

when you pull your mouth away, you giggle as you pump his cock with your spit lubricating for better motion. his face screws together the faster you pump, and he can barely take the pleasure.

"hmm, i bet you wanna cum on my face... and tits. but, i want you to cum inside me." you say as you but your bottom lip, running your thumb over the cum leaking from his tip.

"me too, baby. fuck!" he grunts, and it makes you smile at how much of a mess he is too.

you rise from your knees, relieving the pressure on them before straddling him on his bed. you pull off your top, tossing it on the other side of the room as he quickly peels his shirt off as well. his big hands run up your body, over your breasts once more as his thumbs move against your nipples.

"god, i want to feel every inch of your cock... so, don't stop until you're finished." you tell him as you run his tip agaisnt your slit before slowly sinking down on him.

"babe, shit... fuck." he whimpered, his fingers pressing into your hips as you arch your back.

"god, im so tight." you moan, "your cock is so big... can barely fit you inside me." you huff, your eyes closed shut as you slowly move your hips.

soon, you meet a nice pace of bouncing on his cock and he loosens up as he watches you move up and down. his bright eyes keep moving between looking at your tits and your face, completely amazed by your beauty.

you run your hands over his toned chest and abdomen, leaving light scratches on his skin from the waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body.

"dave, im gonna cum. oh, oh! i'm gonna cum." you announced to him and he was holding off anyways, his jaw clenched his much that it was beginning to feel painful.

as you arch your back and let out a long whine, he stills his hips as his warm cum fills you up. it was the first time he was fully inside you, and you were aching around his cock, feeling it throbbing against your walls.

he leans up, leaving a soft kiss just above your breasts before you two share another kiss. you can't help but giggle, both of you feeling that sudden hit of exhaustion.

you lift yourself from your cock and cum runs down your slit, letting him see the mess he made. dave smirks, expecting him to say that he'll get you a towel but instead licks his lips and starts to lean down between your legs again.

it was like deja vu. his tongue presses against your swollen slit, tasting your mixed cum before sucking on your sore clit. now you're so sensitive to the touch, you could orgasm again at any moment. he was so in tune with your body that he knew what pace to go and how long you could actually lasts.

you run your hands over your breasts, his tongue moving so perfectly between your slit and clit. you feel his press a light kiss against the area above your pussy before trailing more kisses up your body. then, you two shared another kiss, tasting each other's tongues once more before he laid next to you.

"you know, i've never had a study partner like you." you jeered, pressed a kiss against the start of his jaw.

he blushed, "me neither..." he raised his eyebrows, "trust me."

#dave lizewski #dave lizewski x reader #dave lizewski smut #dave lizewski x you #kick ass

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sexchangedotcom · 8 months

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my baby my baby youre my baby say it to me baby my baby tell your baby that im your baby i bet on losing dogs i know theyre losing and i pay for my place by the ring where ill be looking in their eyes when theyre down ill be there on their side im losing by their side would you let me baby lose on losing dogs i know theyre losing and i pay for my place by the ring where ill be looking in their eyes when theyre down i wanna feel it i bet on losing dogs i always want you when im finally fine how youd be over me looking in my eyes when i come someone to watch me die someone to watch me die i bet on losing dogs

#can anybody hear me #nic.txt

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zuhaism · 3 months

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⊹ ｡˚ 𓂃 ♡ Y/NRINA FAN FAVOURITES ?!

[ navigation ]

pairing : aespa5th!member x yoo jimin

synopsis : fan favourite y/nrina moments that convince them that they’re more than friends

genre : fluff

┈ clip 1

“we’re in sydney… nature. there’s y/n sunbathing on the grass”

giselle and karina walked over to you. her already closed eyes tightened as their shadows loomed over her. “she’s enjoying the moment..” karina explained to the camera.

“shes also asleep” giselle said with a giggle after nudging the girl and getting no reaction. “yah.. wake up!” karina poked y/n’s side. she flinched and warned her “do it again and ill jump you.”

karina giggled and poked the girls side deeper than before making her sit up. karina stood up and started running while y/n chased after her.

the clip got cut off to y/n on top of karina in the background of winter saying goodbye to the camera. they were on the grass as y/n sprawled her arms out over karina. if you squint you could see y/n cuddling into her.

y/nsairpods : nahh what they doing back there in 4:59

winterinari : we all saw that y/n

┈ clip 2

“helloooo everyonee !!”

“we raided y/ns room”

the live showed ningning, giselle and winter on y/n’s bed. it was currently 12:40am.

“what are you guys doing up?”

“we drank coffee hihi” said ningning as they looked for interesting comments.

“where’s y/n and karina?” read giselle aloud. “here they are.. unnie ill cover your face.” my’s could hear ningning whisper as they turned the camera around.

showing karina facing them straddling y/n on her gaming chair with her hands wrapped around y/n’s shoulder. while she played minecraft.

“haiii” karina waved with her bare face being covered by winters finger. “y/n say hi” winter spoke up.

she raised the hand that was on her keyboard and waved, her gaze still on the monitor. karina giggled and nestled her head deeper into the crook of the girl's neck, turning her attention back to her phone.

ningfordays : THEYRE DATING CMON

meowrina : mann if my girl aint clingy like that i dont want her (i want karina)

┈ clip 3

“now were done with our japan tour..” karina said still chewing on her food. beside her was y/n who eyed her food and opened her mouth.

karina picked up a piece of pickle and fed it to the younger girl. “you gave me vegetables.” y/n made a disgusted face.

“next time get ur own.” y/n made an annoyed face. “you look like a nerd with those glasses on .. chat do you agree with me. please comment ‘karina is a nerd’ i will be watching when this video uploads.”

y/n said whilst taking the camera from karina’s hands and fighting her off before she could get it back. “stop” karina sulked, going back to her food and ignoring y/n who shoved the camera on her face.

“atleast im a cute nerd.” y/n giggled at that.

“my cute nerd”

┈ clip 4

“hello everyone today i’ll be doing y/n’s make up yay!” karina said as she clapper her hands. she layed out the make up materials. “go wash your face first.” karina said to y/n who looked like she just had woken up. with her messy hair and oversized tshirt and pants.

“today we’re going to stroll around nyc but y/n is tired from jetlag so im helping her with her make up.”

y/n came back a little fresher than before. “come sit down.” karina motioned for y/n to sit infront if her. where she prepped a chair so the camera could capture it.

karina was standing as she did y/n’s make up until she got to her eyeliner. “agh this is hard while standing.” karina groaned as she pulled back from applying the eyeliner on y/n’s eyelid.

“sit” y/n pulled karina down on her lap as she was already towering above her. the camera caught the tips of karina’s ears turning red

y/n held karina close, steadying her as she worked on the eyeliner. making karina have the height advantage while y/n just closed her eyes and looked up.

ninging : ik what u are

tinniewinter : idk if i wanna be karina or y/n

┈ clip 5

“cut!” the choreographer called out. aespa was rehearsing for their synk hyper line tour in japan. everyone let out a breath of exhaustion as they let their muscles loose from posing.

karina approached y/n, who stood at her spot with her eyes closed, caught in a moment of post-performance relaxation. she didn’t even flinch when karina grabbed at her hoodie strings that got in her shirt from the vigorous dancing. fixing her hoodie.

she looked back up to face y/n and made eye contact with her. the camera caught the tip of her ears turning red. before she went in to wrap her arms around the girls shoulder. trying to ignore the flustered feeling from the sudden eye contact.

y/n, slightly taken aback, looked at karina with a hint of confusion. she returned the embrace by wrapping her arms around karina’s slim waist.

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imwetforyourmom · 1 month

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I like the way you kiss me

summary: what could possibly happen in a bathroom, at a party, between two friends?

warnings: kissing, praising, public (?), swearing, song does not match up with the words whatsoever, dom!chris sub!reader, fem!reader, blow job, fwb, ASSUME YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

IN HONOUR OF ARTEMAS’ NEW SONGG

y/ns hands flatten on her dress, rubbing it down in either a nervous or cleaning her skirt manner.

this was a huge party, and who knows who could be here? chris maybe, her friends with benefits. no, he doesnt like parties he wouldnt come.

he mainly didnt like them because everyone was always in peoples personal space and the heavy smell of achohol and weed was always bothering him.

fuck. this wasnt normal, y/n shouldnt know this much about chris, hes simply a hookup.. a friends with benefits. which, theyre still friends, so she guesses its normal.

while thinking deeply about what she should and shouldnt know about chris, she accidentally bumped into a a tall figure. while trying to avoid other sweaty bodies.

“shit! sorry!” she spoke quickly, her body moving off the others just as fast.

her eyes scanned up his body, stopping at his face as her eyes scanning his facial features, quickly recognizing chris.

chris.

chris smirked, looking down at her.

“you look hot, mama” he spoke, his voice seductive. he wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her close to him.

“who you all dressed up for like that, hm?” he mumbled, speaking into the top of her head.

y/n quickly thought of her words, if she spoke truthfully, chris might spare her, and if she lied and said ‘for you’ he would know she wasnt expecting him here and edge her for hours on end, the next time they hooked up.

“me, I- uh, I wasnt expecting to see you here, chris.” she muttered, deciding to talk truthfully and give herself mercy.

“hm. well, now that im here. would you like to dance?” he hummed, his hand traveling off her waist and down her arm, wrapping his hand around hers, walking her with him to the dance floor.

“sure!” y/n answered, its not like she had a choice anyways, chris was already spinning her around and singing along with the music currently blasting through the speakers.

“I like the way you kiss me

I like the way you, uh

I like the way you kiss me”

oh.

this was y/n and chris’ song. the song. the song they always ended up fucking to. no matter where or the situation, she always found herself either ontop or under chris.

chris stared down at her, a knowing look on his face. a smirk slowly creeping onto his lips and his eyes trailed down her body once again, looking at how short her skirt was and how the neckline of her shirt cut off at.

he leant down and looked up, looking at others as his hips swayed with y/ns.

“would you like to fuck now or wait till later?” he whispered into her ear. knowing he was going to be able to fuck her at the end of the night, so in all honesty he didnt mind when she chose.

undoubtedly, y/n had been soaking wet for chris since he’d wrapped his arms around her waist and began talking to her in that deep yet seductive voice.

“now, please.” she mumbled.

* • •

chris’ lips ontop of y/ns, in a rushed but passionate manner. her lips returning the needy kiss, a thousand thoughts running through her mind at once, but all she could focus on was just how wet she was feeling from just chris’ hard on pressing into her thigh.

she moaned into chris’ mouth unexpectedly from his tongue pushing past her lips and teeth, intertwining their tongues in a hot and messy kiss.

chris walked y/n into the door, pressing her back into it, making it all the more romantic whilst his lips engulfed hers. his hands frantic once they connected with her body, moving them all over her, wherever they possibly could.

not tryna be romantic

ill hit it from the back

just so you dont get attached

he bit onto her lip once more before pulling away and pushing her down onto her knees by her shoulders, gently but quickly. y/n made it easier for him and lowered herself, running her hands down him as she moved.

she ran her hands up and down his thighs, before quickly unbuckling his belt and pushing his jeans and boxers down altogether.

you bite my lip, just for the taste

you’re on your knees

im on the case

you take the heat, and with such grace

once his length is free and slaps his stomach she immediately wraps her mouth around his cock. wasting no time.

chris groans and places his hand on the top of her head, grabbing a fistful of her hair, he bobs her head up and down with force.

y/n wrapped her hand around what she couldnt fit inside her mouth. moving her hand up and down whilst chris moved her head up and down himself, her lips fully around his length and her cheeks hollowing as she sucked.

“fuck- y/n, you’re doing so good f’me” he praised, his fingertips lightly pressing into her scalp in a gentle motion, rewarding her I’d say.

she licked his underside aswell as sucking and bobbing her head up and down, making the experience all the more pleasureable for chris.

I like the way you kiss me

I can tell you miss me

I can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

tears began collecting at y/ns waterline from the constant abuse to her throat.

with the experience y/n has at giving bjs to chris, she knows all his little weak spots, such as running her tongue tip under his tip.

“f-fuck, y/n- shit” he moaned, small grunts leaving his lips aswell.

“im- im cumming! fuc- fuck” he pushed her head further down, finally stopping when he was deep in her throat. throwing his head back, cumming down her throat.

y/n lightly sucked before she was pulled off him, using the grip chris had on her hair.

chris quickly moved his lips to hers again whilst he grabbed her waist and moved her over to the sink. he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to her neck before bending her over the sink.

I like the way you kiss me, I can tell you miss me

I can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits

not tryna be romantic, I'll hit it from the back

just so you don't get attached

he ran his kisses down her back before stopping and pulling away around her lower back. he pushed her skirt up, giving him availablity to touch and grope her ass, aswell as moving her panties to the side.

and he does just that, his hands slither to her ass and grope it, before slapping it, then massaging the skin.

y/n whines impatiently, “chris, please” she spoke, her voice shaky with need.

“please what? hm? what do you want? use your words ma.” he teasingly spoke, knowing what she wanted.

“I want you, i want your cock. I need you. fuck, please chris.” with that chris pulled her panties to the side and ran his tip through her folds, collecting her arousal.

he slowly pushed in, his cock stretching out her walls as he pushed further and further in.

“fuck!” y/n moaned, the burning sensation throughout her body quickly changing into pleasure once chris began thrusting into her.

can we make a scene

can we make it loud

‘cause im so proud, baby,

im so proud of you

from the loud music playing in just the other room they had no reason to worry about being heard.

besides, the music was already enough but with the screaming and talking was even better. what better place than to fuck in a bathroom at a party? no one can hear the moans.

chris placed his hands on her hips, steadying her before thrusting harshly into her.

his pelvis hitting her ass, causing it to bounce with every thrust.

“god, y/n, you’re so pretty.” he mumbled, his eyes trained on her ass.

his hand traveled up her back and to her neck, he gently moved all her hair to her left shoulder so he could press his hot and wet kisses on her neck.

y/n moaned in response, too fucked out with his hard and such pleasureful thrusts to speak.

every two seconds chris would pull out almost all the way, before slamming back into her.

the sounds of skin slapping, moaning, whimpers and pants being the only sounds in the room.

y/ns hand gripped onto the sink edge whilst her other hand gripped onto the counter, holding so tight her knuckles and fingers were turning white.

“fuckk, chris” she moaned out, squeezing her eyes shut and feeding her bottom lip between her teeth, biting hard.

chris’ fingernails dug so deep into y/ns hips it was sure to leave red crescent moon shapes behind.

chris leaned back over to y/ns back and mumbled sweet nothings into her ear, his mouth slowly traveling from her ear down to her neck and shoulder, leaving wet and opened mouth kisses behind.

he kissed and sucked onto her shoulder and neck, leaving a deep purple color in its mark.

with the new angle he got deeper into y/n somehow, her velvety walls squeezing his cock in pure pleasure.

y/ns mouth hung open, drool dripping out of it every few minutes. her eyes lazily drooped open in pure bliss.

“chris- mhmmm, fuck, ‘m close” she whined, her voice awfully quiet and shaky.

“g- go ahead baby, im right behind you.” he answered, his face hanging in her neck as his collarbone was resting on her shoulder.

with that y/n let go and came all over his cock. with loud moans of his name and incoherent sentences.

with just hearing his name come from y/ns mouth like that was enough for him to cum, in which, he did.

he rested his body ontop of hers, not like he hasnt for the past few couple minutes, but now hes resting his entire body weight onto her.

“fuck, you did so good for me baby.” chris muttered, slowly getting off of y/n, aswell as pulling out of her slowly.

“mhh” y/n answered, still recovering from that heavily intense moment.

chris fixed her skirt and panties, then pulled his boxers and pants up.

he looked at her once more, his eyes scanning over her face, seeing the mascara running down her cheeks, the smeared lipstick and tear stained makeup all over her cheeks, proving that he fucked her just as good as he always has.

“you might wanna fix your makeup up some, sweetheart.” he pressed a kiss to her forehead, before opening and closing the door, leaving the bathroom and returning back to the party.

1883 words.

tags

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @leah-loves-lilies @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @genshin-addict

#sturniolo #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #christopher owen sturniolo #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #chris #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #smut #SoundCloud

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hyunjinswifelol · 4 months

Text

study session. h.hj

warnings: weed, getting high, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f!receive), reader wheres skirt, reader is called y/n, reader is also fem mostly, hyunjin wears rings, reader is a teachers pet, use of slut

summary: reader goes to hyunjin to study, knowing hes really smart. they end up getting high together and do interesting things.

“excuse me, do you know which dorm room is uh.. hwang hyunjins dorm?” y/n asked. the front desk lady gave her a weird look. “why do you need to know?” “hes the smartest in my class and i need tutoring lessons” she said. “hes in room 238 on floor 4. be careful, hes not really a good kind of boy” “i-.. okay thanks!” y/n ran to the elevator, trying not to drop everything, including her bag. she pressed floor 4, and hoped he was even in his room. “room 238.. where is it” she questioned herself, wondering the halls. she found it. her heart was racing. she knocked. “y/n?..” “hyunjin!! hi, can you tutor me please? the math is terrible and-“ “you want me to tutor you?” hyunjin asked, sarcastically laughing. she nodded slowly, afraid he’ll turn her down. “is it too much? are you busy? do i need to come another time-“ “no y/n youre fine. i just wasnt expecting you to come to me” hyunjin said, scratching the back of his neck. she nodded again, less worried. he was much taller than her, she just realized. he was about 5’10, and she was about 5’2. hyunjin opened his door more and let her in. “thanks.. im sorry. i didnt mean to bother you or anything” she said, slightly looking down. “hey its okay.. i understand, schools hard you know? dont worry about it” she smiled and nodded. he was really cute she thought. “do you want a drink?” he asked. “sure.. do you have sweet tea?” hyunjin nodded. “oh sorry.. you can set your stuff down on my table and ill get everything ready” hyunjin said, pulling a chair out for her. “thanks, youre really a gentleman” she said, patting his arm. he blushed. “thanks.. i try to help nice to women. i also try to be nice to you, youre the most favorite in the school you know? the teachers love you” “my parents donated a bunch of money to the school, thats the only reason they love me” “youre really kind to them, they probably like that too, respecting teachers is really important” she nodded. he poured her a glass of tea. “do you smoke?” he asked, sitting down infront of her, handing her the tea. her eyes lit up, and went wide. “do i.. smoke?” he nodded. “do you? i have some weed, we can share a joint before we study, it’ll calm your nerves. youre tense honey” she nodded. “ive never done this before hyunjin.. is it okay?” “ofcourse it is, i wouldnt harm you” hyunjin stood up and went to the kitchen. y/n followed him. he went to roll a joint. he was rolling it up and making it a cigarette type to smoke. y/n was staring at his hands the whole time. the veins, the tings, the tendons, his long fingers. she wondered what they felt like inside her. no. she cant think like that. this is her classmate, and possibly new study friend. “your rings are cool” she softly said. “oh thanks! im glad you notic- how did you notice?..” he said. “i was staring” she mumbled, slightly embarrassed. “you were staring st my hands?” he said, genuinely confused. “yeah.. i mean you have nice hands” “thanks.. are you like.. obsessed with my hands?” “no.. i was just staring cause theyre nice. your nail polish is cool too” she smiled. “thanks” he smiled back at her. “okay done. wanna hit first?” “can you?.. i dont know how to do this” she said, looking at the floor embarrassed. “its okay, dont be embarrassed.. i wouldnt expect you to know how to smoke anyways” he said. he took a big hit, then blew out. “when you take a hit, you’ve gotta inhale it, be careful, it’ll make you cough” he handed it to her. “thanks” she said. she hit it, inhaled, choked a little, then blew out. “wow.. i feel weird” “its normal, after a few more puffs youll feel like youre floating, trust me sweetheart” he said. her cheeks got red at the pet name. she never really liked pet names if she’s completely honest, but she feels warm when he calls her pet names. he took another hit, and did it like a pro. she took another hit, but coughed alot. “its okay, youll get the hang of it” hyunjin reassured her. they took turns back and fourth. after a while, y/n felt very high, and very clingy. “hyunjin.. can we watch a movie?” she asked. “arent we supposed to study?”

“fuck studying” she said. his eyes went wide. she just cussed? “i-.. sure hun, what do you wanna watch?” “romance. like.. shrek!” “thats not a romance honey” he said laughing. “dont laugh.. and yes it is” “okay then..” he took her to the living room. he sat down. she was still standing though. “you can sit down you know..” he said smiling, but slightly confused. “can you spread your legs?” she mumbled. he nodded and did so. she sat in between them. he froze completely. “can you scoot back a little? i dont wanna fall off the couch” she looked back at him smiling innocently. he nodded. he scooted back. she layed back to where her back was against his chest. he got the remote and found shrek and started playing it. she hit the joint again. “jinnie i think im getting high.. am i okay?” she said, now being serious. “its normal love, trust me you’ll be okay” she nodded. she got herself comfortable. her head was resting in ghe crook of his neck, her thighs pressed together between his, her back against his chest, and her hands on his thighs. “this is comfy” she whispered. “good. it is” he smiled. her hair smelled really good. his arms were right beside his thighs, and y/n took that as an opportunity to gran then and wrap them around her waist. he looked down at it, and smiled. “hold me” she said. “okay honey” he said, smiling brighter than ever. she held the joint up to his lips and hetook a hit. she took a hit after him. she turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist. his arms were loosly wrapped around her waist. “hi lovely” he said. she blinked a few times. then smashed her lips on his. he immediately kissed back. his arms tightened around her. she pulled away after a moment. “can we go to your room?” she shyly asked. “what are you wanting to do in there that we cant do in here?” he asked messing woth her soft hair. “can you make me feel good?” she mumbled. hyunjins pants got tight, and she felt that. she was acting so innocent but shes not at the same time, hyunjin loved it. y/n got up and waited for hyunjin to. “right down the hallway lovely” he said, and held her hand softly. she went and sat on his bed, and he closed his door. the only lightin there was a lamp. she stared at him. he stared backat her. “are you sure you want this?” she nodded. “ive never done it before but i want you to be my first hyunjin. please?” she whispered. he nodded. he wanted this as much as she did. hes fucked multiple girls, but none like her. hes always thought that y/n was special and innocent and pretty, but that innocent thought was long gone. hyunjin kissed her, and they started making out. his tounge slid in her mouth, and he bit her bottom lip- making her whine. hyunjin felt his dick get harder. he slowly pushed her down to where she was laying on her back. his hands roamed her body, and she loved it. her mind and his were all fuzzy, most likely from being stoned, but for her it was that and the feeling of his hands all over her. his hand went down to her wet pussy. he broke the kiss. “do you want me to touch you sweetheart?” he asked, teasing her. “yes please” she whined. he rubbed her clothed clit and she moaned. “lets take these panties off okay?” he said, rubbing up and down her thighs. she nodded. he slip them down to her ankles and threw them somewhere across the room. hyunjin rubbed her clit, and it felt even better with her panties off. “you like that? you like my fingers touching you?” “yes- feels s-so good” she moaned out. hyunjin pushed his middle finger in her entrance. she whined and threw her head back on the bed. “you wanna lay down love?” he asked, still fingering her. she nodded. she scooted back to where her back was slightly against the headboard. he crawled in between her legs and he was face to face with her pussy. “can i?” he asked. “please” she whispered. and just like that that, his face was burried in her pussy. his tounge going in and out of her entrance at a fast pace. y/n’s mind was fully blank, only the thought of hyunjin eating her out like a pro. she grabbed his hair.

hyunjin looked up at her. she closed her eyes and whined. hyunjin came up and kissed her, and started fingering her again- but with two fingers. “hyunjin” she moaned. “yes darling? you like it? you like taking my fingers?” he softly said, playing with her hair in his other hand. she nodded and whined. “you look so fucking pretty. a princess getting fucked in that slutty skirt.. my princess getting fucked in her slutty skirt” she moaned. she liked him calling her a slut. “im your slut?” she whispered. “yes darling youre my little slut okay? youre my princess, my slutty princess” he said, fingering her at the fastest pace possible. “hyun- your fingers” y/n moaned out. “my fingers? you like them? they making my princess feel good?” he asked kissing her forehead. “yes they feel so good-your rings they feel” she said before moaning. “they feel good dont they” he said. she nodded. “lets take this little shirt off okay?” he said, pulling her little pink crop top off. she covered her chest. “hey dont cover or be shy my love” he said slowly pulling her arms softly. “here ill take mine off so youre not alone lovely” he said removing his fingers from her pussy. “hyunjin-“ she whined, feeling empty. “i know darling, youll get what you want soon, i promise” he whispered, taking his shirt off and going back down on her again. “you taste like heaven darling” he whispered. he sucked her clit, and she almost screamed. she bucked her hips in his face, practically riding it. “hyunjin im gonna cum- please can i?” she cried. “yes love” he tounge fucked her for a minute and she came right in his mouth. he slurped her juices and came up to kiss her again. she tasted herself. “lets get this slutty skirt off hm?” he said. she nodded, and he ripped it right off. he got off the bed for a minute. he unbuckled his pants and slid them off, as well as his boxers. his cock sprung right out. her eyes went wide in fear. it looked about 9 inches. she was worried it wouldnt fit. “will it fit hyunjin?” she whispered. “yes love, dont worry okay? ill take care of you” he said, laying her down. he aligned his cock with her hole. “im gonna go in slowly okay? squeeze my hand if it hurts” he whispered. he offered his hand and she held it. he pushed in his tip. she squeezed his hand a little. “you okay darling?” he whispered, his thumb carresing her knuckles. she nodded. “you got this” he whispered. he pushed in another 3 inches. he waited a moment and pushed in a few more inches. he still had about 4 more inches to go. so, he went balls deep in her pussy. “youre tight love” he said, smiling at her. “youre big hyunie” she said, eyes welled with tears. “do you want me to move now?” he asked, holding her hand tight. she nodded. he moved about halfway out and pushed back in very slow. he repeated that for a few minutes. “hyun.. faster please” she whispered, eyes shut tight. he hummed an ‘mhm’ and picked up his pace. “shit” he whispered. he went faster now. she moaned his name a few times. “hyunjin faster-“ she said, and then he went at a rapid pace. she moaned even louder than before. “im gonna cum darling, can i cum in you?” he asked. she nodded, tears streaming from her eyes. she felt herself getting closer too. she clenched around him, and then he came. she came a few seconds after him. he layed beside her. she was panting. “you did great love” he said, still holding her hand. sweat was dripping down his neck. she lookrd over at him, and stared at the sweat. she caused that sweat. “lets get cleaned up and head to bed hm?” he said. “im staying here tonight?” she asked. hyunjin stood up and went to grab a towel. “yeah.. if you want to obviously” he said and smiling at her. “can i sleep in here?” she asked, stars in her eyes. “ofcourse lovely” he cleaned themselfs off. she put her underwear and bra on. he put some boxers amd sweatpants on. “hyunjin?” “hm?” “can i borrow a shirt?” “ofcourse, let me get you one” he said. he walked to his closet and found a white t shirt. he handed it to her and kissed her forehead. she smiled and giggled. “what?” he asked.

“you give me butterflies when you kiss my forehead” she said, looking up at him and smiling. “then ill do it more often” he cockily said. she put the shirt on and collapsed on his bed. he layed doen next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. she rolled over and shoved her face in his chest. “you smell good” she mumbled. “do i?” “mhm” he smiled. he kissed her forehead. “goodnight darling” he said. “goodnight jinnie” “love you” “love you too” she smiled. her face was in his neck and her arms were around his neck, while his was around her waist. they both eventually fell asleep.

#hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #hwang hyunjin smut

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ac3ifix · 2 months

Text

ASK N U SHALL RECEIVE

req: please do a part two where we are pregnant and he fucks us and then a time skip to fluff with us and him with the kid and or kids🫣 and maybe smut at the end you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it tho❤️❤️

OKAYY SO THIS IS A LOT BUT ILL DEF TRY MY BEST 🫶🫶

(PS: I didnt add smut at the end bc i think it wouldve been a lil too much!! apologies for it being a bit rushed)

cw: purposfully lowercase, second person, p n v, smut, FTM reader, male reader, teen pregnancy (reader is 18, kage is 19) kinda shit writing, not proofread.

kageyama was THRILLED when you told him that the test was positive, he was smirking from hands to feel and saying praise and how good you are for him.

“I really hope he’s a boy..” He mumbles one day, leaning into your already round stomach

“I dont think id be able to live if there was a mini you walking around,” you groan in annoyance.

“i love you,” he says suddenly

“i love you too,” you reply

“I was talking to him,” he says, looking up at you and smirking.

you glare at him and at that point decide to ignore him for the rest of the day.

now where did that lead you?

here. legs spread while he slams into you.

“cmon baby, you cant ignore me all day,” he groans, gripping at your hips and basically using you like a fleshlight

“ngh…tobio- gnna mess w..with the kid,” you moan, gripping at the sheets as you approach your third orgasm of the night.

“mess with him hm? how doya think hed like a sibling hm?” he says, whispering in your ear before biting down on your neck.

“T..tobs- he isnt even..fuck..born yet!” you moan, moving your hands from the bedsheet to begin to claw at his back.

“alas, you admit its going to be a boy then, hm?” he says, a smirk evident in his voice.

“No-“ you begin, but youre interrupted by your orgasm. “fuck..fuck..Tobio!!” you moan loudly

“M’close, baby,” he groans, his thrusts growing sloppy yet faster, his grip on your hips grows painful and he pounds you harder, releasing into you with one final, rough, thrust. “fuck, my love, you feel so good,” he sighs.

you mumble incoherent words in response. gently, he wraps his arms around your body, pulling his limp cock from your hole with a soft popping sound. “doya think that made our chances higher of having twins..?”

“baby..thats..not how it works,” you sigh in response

“alas, but it should be,” he says, dramatically placing his hand over his forehead and faking a swoon.

you let out an exhausted sigh and he tightens his grip on you in response. “Shh baby, youre safe with me, no matter how many kids we have theyre going to be so perfect.”

…

“KAGEYAMA ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!” you shout playfully, holding two baby boys in your arms.

“Shh, my love, youll wake them up,” he replies, undoing his shoes.

you sigh and walk over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “how was practice?” you ask gently, whispering in order to not wake your kids.

“it was alright, thanks,” he grumbles back, clearly annoyed. “my days better not that im home with my three favorite boys,” he says, kissing your forehead gently.

you hum in response, smiling happily at his remark. gently, he grabs your hand and leads you and the boys to the bedroom, placing you on the bed and wrapping his strong arms around your waist. he buries his head in the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, content with the situation.

“I love you,” he mumbles

“Are you talking to me or the kids?” you ask playfully.

END

I REALLY HOPE THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH LMK IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WANT CHANGED N I WILL ADD/SUBTRACT ANY PART OF IT. IM SO SORRY ITS KINDA RUSHED 😞😞

GIVE ME KID NAMES PLSS I WANNA NAME THEM LIKE KATSUKI AND KATSUMI BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT B TOO SIMILAR

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mimixmunson · 14 days

Note

I have a habbit of messing up peoples names, ive called my mom my brothers name. Sometimes ill start with someone elses name and correct myself like sara-mily or i get it early so its just the first letter like saying ch-steve

I was just thinking about bestfriends eddie x reader where reader accidentally calls eddie daddy because theyre so similar. She goes to say a d name but catches herself and says eddie. She was talking fast and didnt even catch herself saying it until eddies like "did you just call me daddy?"

Accidentally calling Eddie ‘Daddy’. Eddie Munson x female reader. Blurb. Fluff.

I hope this is okay, I’m sick at the moment so it’s kinda self indulgent but I tried to personalise it a bit for you!

The night was like any other of yours and Eddie’s movie nights. Bags of candy spilled out on the floor, blankets swallowing you both up and a blunt being passed between you. Today was tiring, work couldn’t be more stressful and of course you were understaffed. Eddie came to pick you up at closing time, he already had your cup of tea in his cup-holder. It was the small things you appreciated the most from your best friend.

You had your head on his chest, because Eddie said “it will help your migraine I promise.” You wanted to believe him but the smirk on his face just showed he wanted to look after you. Eddie held his palm to your forehead, “you’re burning up a little, I’ll get you some medicine. Wait right here.” He ushers himself out from the blankets and into the kitchen. Rooting through the cupboards as you pause the movie, he reappears holding a bottle and a medicine spoon. Pouring the contents onto the spoon, “open up darling” he smirks as he feeds you.

You wince at the taste of the bitter medicine, swiftly taking a swig of your soda to wash away the taste. Wiping your mouth you whisper, “thank you d-daddy” “e-Eddie I meant Eddie!!” Your face flushes immediately, wanting the ground to swallow you up as you blurt out your sentence. Your brain was on auto pilot and Eddie and Daddy sounded far too similar for your mouth to comprehend whilst you’re suffering so bad with your migraine.

“What was that? Did you just call me daddy?” Eddie smirks, teasing you as he pulls your hands away from your blushing face.

“I- no! The words got scrambled in my head m’sorry I’m so embarrassed, I’m sorry.” You pull away from Eddie’s touch, bringing your knees to your chest and resting your head on them. Terrified that you’ve ruined your friendship, how could Eddie not see you differently after calling him that? A word so not-inherently bad but turned kinky and shameful, he could assume you’re into that. Not that it would be a bad thing to be kinky, you just weren’t.

“Hey hey hey.” Eddie pulls at your arms, “just look at me.” His voice is like velvet, so comforting but you’re shaking. Wishing you could be ignorant and never face this issue. “Come on princess, just want to see you smile.” You can almost hear the smirk in his voice.

You stick to your guns, refusing to move and face him. “You leave me no choice then, I didn’t want to do this sweetheart. But you asked for this..” Eddie coos into your ear before teasing his fingers over your neck, ghosting over your skin and down to your sides. He pokes and prods your ribs, flailing back into Eddie’s chest, trying to swat at his hands to put an end to his ticklish assault.

“Okay! Okay!” You plead, holding on to Eddie’s wrists and looking deep into his eyes. He stills his hands, holding yours and dropping them into his lap. “I didn’t mean to say it Eddie, honestly.” Your voice stuttering as you whimpered. “It’s not a big deal. Seriously, I understand. You do that a lot with words, I’ve seen it. You’re okay. It’s okay. We’re okay.” A mischievous smile spreads over his face when he sees you let go of the breath you’ve been holding for the entire moment. Sighing, you let yourself smile, feeling safe knowing that Eddie doesn’t judge you.

“There’s that smile. Gotta hear that laugh too, you know, for daddy?” He teases before jumping on top of you and tickling you again.

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yourbpdgf · 1 year

Text

fangs r hot

warnings: biting, blood, hickeys, licking, fingering, monster cock (?), riding, mirror sex, choking, begging, groping, teasing, pet names: bunny, bun, pretty, dolly, sweets.

you always knew your boyfriend had fangs, but you never really thought about them in depth.

now theyre the only thing you could think about, specifically howd they feel on your neck. youre surprised that youve never thought about them before, especially considering the fact they make lilia look awfully hotter. they add to his aesthetic, his charm.

you would be lying if you said they didnt put some... inappropriate... thoughts in your head.

as these unholy fantasies occupied your mind your boyfriend lilia stopped his rant, noticing you werent exactly listening. what lilia also noticed was your gaze, which wasnt on his eyes as it usually was, rather on his... mouth?

...oh he gets it.

youre looking at his teeth, arent you...?

instead of being scared like a normal human, instead of being scared as he thought youd be, you look to be aroused.

he wanted to laugh, youre aroused. any other human would run frightened and youre sitting pretty with your thighs clenched, trying your best to relieve the ache between your legs without him noticing.

this is why lilia chose you, youre so unpredictable. it makes you interesting, fun to play with.

but unfortunately for you, your boyfriend pays too much attention to you to not notice something like that.

"fascinated by my fangs, hm? bet you want me to bite you sooo bad, dont you bunny?"

"maybe i do, is it that obvious?"

"mhm, but dont worry ill take real good care of you, bun <3."

with that he kissed your lips before placing you onto his lap, pulling a creak from the bed. lilia positioned your back to his chest, making sure you could see the both of you in the full length mirror propped on the wall infront of you.

lilia brings his mouth down to your neck before shifting his eyes to stare at yours through the mirror, lilia smiles and bites down into your neck.

you frown at the contact, lilia treats you as if youre so fragile, youre not. so you decide to poke the bat bear,

"aww that was barely a graze, lilia. are you underestimating my strength or perhaps, losing your own?"

"thosell be your famous last words, sweets."

lilias grins goes wide as he bites again this time drawing blood, as well as a loud moan from you, followed by you grinding down hard on lilias thigh.

lilia continues his assault on your neck, though.

he bites, licks, and sucks, leaving strings of hickeys in his stead along with trickles of blood. and once theres no more room left on your neck he moves to take your shirt off and picking up where he left off. lilia gropes and pinches your tits too, he always makes sure to overstimulate you.

"mmph.. lilia i need you now," you whined out, "need your cock to stretch me out."

"patience, dolly. ill fuck you soon, need to prep ya first, mkay?"

"but i need you now-"

youre cut off by the feeling of lilias fingers slipping up your uniform skirt, into your panties and into your pretty cunt. lilia continues to thrust his fingers into you, gradually increasing his pace, while he releases his cock from the confines of his pants.

lilias cock alway makes you see stars.

his cock is a blushy pink color with black and pink scales instead of hair. its abnormally thick too, as well as being long. for comparison, when you give him handjobs your hand cant even wrap around it entirely. its a struggle to fit all 8 inches of him into you, as well.

after stretching you out, lilia never does stretch you enough so you can feel him stretch you with his cock ;), he positions you ontop of his dick and slams you down.

you scream, starting to cry and lilia relishes in every second of it. lilia coos at you, trying to distract you as he builds speed.

and it works.

your head slowly goes blank and all you can think about is lilia, his cock and how good you feel. your eyes are spun back in your head, letting the pleasure wash over you, fully entrusting yourself to your boyfriend.

lilia takes real good care of you too, just like he promised. he makes sure to hit your spongey spots in the best ways possible. he plays with your clit with one hand while the other squeezes on your throat. lilia tightens the knot in your stomach so nicely that you dont even have the chance to tell him before it snaps.

he feels your walls spasming on his dick, pushing him over the edge himself. he slams you down one more time, throwing his head back.

both of you enjoy your highs and come back down to reality. you give eachother one last passionate kiss before seperating your most intimate parts to go clean yourselves up <3.

idk if this is good or not 🤷‍♀️ just have it ig 🤲🏼.

everything ?

#lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader smut #lilia vanrouge smut #lilia x reader #lilia x reader smut #lilia smut #twst x reader #twst x reader smut #twst smut #anime x reader #anime x reader smut #anime smut #x reader #smut #cw biting #cw monster cock #cw choking

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xcixmoon · 1 year

Text

zero - part I

this is a series!!

reminder, most of my stories are 18+ - keep in mind when reading.

ultimate masterlist

zero masterlist

note: i just recently started playing cod again (cold war era slightly brought me back) im sry if i make mistakes!! feel free to call me out if you have better knowledge than i lol

simon 'ghost' riley x reader ; lt!ghost x rookie!reader ; simon riley x reader ; simon 'ghost riley x fem!reader

warnings: strong language and violence.

THIS A 18+ BLOG.

the setting is a year into reader being in task force 141. timelines may be different than what is represented in game campaign(s) and such. i've played the campaign twice (bc im down terribly for ghost) so i will be modifying parts of the campaign as i include them in this part of the story. this part relied heavily on the campagin to build up what im working towards.

ten minute read, unedited.

"i'll do it," soap speaks up.

alejandro looked at soap, "you go in there and they'll kill you."

soap knew this but he wanted to stop a missile, he was determined to get the mission done. you knew it was a big risk to let soap go in, "i'll go with him as well." you finally spoke up.

ghost, soap, alejandro, and graves all looked at you.

"no way in hel-" graves began, "i'm not letting soap go in alone. we have a better shot at showing them that two people have good intel. especially the intel that they desire, no?" you cut him off.

ghost kept his eyes on you, "we both offer intel in exchange to meet with sin nombre." you told them.

alejandro looked over at ghost to see if he had anything to say but just met with a gaze that didnt say much, "if sin nombre is there, we pounce." soap brought their attention back.

he gave you a small nod in agreement.

"if you both go in, you'll need someone to keep eyes and ears around. ill go in as one of the guards." alejandro agreed.

ghost said nothing until, "ill take overwatch. have shadows circle the target in a helo."

graves took a look at the ground, "roger that." he finally agreed. he took a patch off his vest and handed it to you, "theyre gonna want proof. give them it."

you agreed at you took the patch, "lets gear up." graves told everyone as you all headed out to your positions.

"eyes on soap and zero?" graves asked ghost.

ghost scouted the building before noticing you both at the front gate. a guard shot his weapon towards your feet, ordering you both to get down on the ground.

"got visual." ghost commed back.

one of the guards hit soap on the back of the knee causing him to fall onto his knees - the other roughly grabbed you and pushed you on to the floor next to him.

one of the guards spoke on his walkie.

the two guards put a black bag over your heads, not being able to see a thing as they forced you both to start walking.

"they got them both now." ghost said as he kept a close eye on you both.

he noticed that the guards separated you and soap once you entered the gate entrance. you tried to whisper for soap but only to cause the guard that was directing you to shove you. "camina!" a man said in spanish.

fuckin hell.

you were shoved to take a seat somewhere. you had no clue to where you were and surprisingly no one was speaking to you yet and demanding for what you were there for.

soaps pov

the bag was yanked off his head and met with alejandro in a elevator, "alejandro?"

soap looked around to see it was only him and alejandro.

"where's zero?" he asked confused.

alejandro shook his head, "no clue, they didnt say much after taking you both in. ill try to find her once i get you where needed."

soap was confused but kept his mind on the end goal. "I want you to tell them everything like we talked about. tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth." alejandro reminded him

"even y-" before soap could continue the elevator door opened.

zeros pov

you were left in a room for what felt like an eternity. you managed to slip off the bag from your head to see where the hell you were at least.

you were in just a plain room with you sitting right in the middle. you noticed that there were no guards around and tried to manage your way out of the ropes that were bounding your wrists together.

you tried everything you could but nothing worked.

this is going to hurt, isnt it?

you dislocated your thumb and managed to squeeze one hand out.

fuck.

you popped your thumb back into place to untie the rest of the rope that was left.

you walked up to a door and pressed your ear against it and heard no voices on the other side but it was locked. you tried to search any part of the room to break the lock but there was no luck in material to do so.

you heard commotion coming from outside the door and noticed the handle began to move. you quickly sat back in the seat and pretended to only have had moved the bag that once sat on your head.

one guard walked in after he finished yelling across the hall to whoever, "why are you here?" he asked in spanish.

you ignored him at first but noticed a keycard resting on his belt loop, "i want to talk to sin nombre." you told him.

the man looked at you crazy and said nothing in return, he turned his back to you as he started walking out the door. you took this chance to quickly wrap the rope around his neck.

you covered his mouth to suppress his struggles as he tried to fight back. you twisted his neck causing his body to go limp within seconds.

easy bastard.

you grabbed his pistol and whatever else you could use as a weapon along with the keycard and made your way out the room.

ghosts pov

ghost finally got on comms with soap after speaking with sin nombres personal sicaria.

"where's zero?" ghost asked through the ear piece.

soap gave a glance to alejandro, "no clue, L.t." soap responded.

"alejandro?" ghost asked him to speak up.

"they separated them, wasn't able to find her when soap was busy with sin nombres personal sicaria." alejandro finally confessed.

ghost looked through his scope to see if he could see you through any of the bedroom windows but no luck, "find her alejandro and soap you try to get the keycard to the penthouse." he ordered.

"understood." alejandro commed back.

this just became a sticky situation.

zeros pov

you quickly realized that you were nowhere near where you wanted to be. as you managed to try to make you way up the house, you took note what was in the house and the voices that filled the rooms. you heard men snorting as they took a big hits.

you didnt want your trail too hot so you tried to keep your distance from killing anybody. it was driving you mad that you have no comms with the rest of your team.

you found yourself in a empty room and found a safe sitting in the closet, "nice." you whispered to yourself.

a sniper rifle was sitting in it with some cash and armor.

you quickly put the armor on and the rifle along with it.

"sin nombre called for us, lets go." you heard voices speak out the door. you heard footsteps rushing as the words finished.

sin nombre is here.

you confirmed with yourself.

you scouted the hallway once more to see if any stragglers were following the group of men - the coast was clear. you took your time paying attention to the direction of the rushed footsteps and followed.

you noticed the men rushed through a door, "sin nombre..." one of the men tried to speak but sin nombre shushed them as you listened through the door.

"the packages arrive on schedule." you heard a female voice say.

sin nombre is a woman?

you couldnt make out the conversation much as it sounded like sin nombre was pacing around the room. the voice finally concluded the conversation as they turned their attention once again to the men who were told to be present.

"you idiots!" the voice yelled, "you better find whoever the hell you let escape." she warned them.

she was talking about you.

you wondered why they weren't on high alert after knowing you were missing. "the guest cannot know anything is wrong, i have enough shit to handle because you fools cant do simple tasks!" she yelled once more in spanish.

guests?

"hey!" a voice yelled from behind you in spanish. you turned to notice a man has a gun pointed at you already. you wanted to fight your way out but that would be pointless as sin nombre and her men were just inside the other room.

the men roughly grabbed you and restrained you. they took your weapons and opened the door that sin nombre was in.

"let go of me..." you cursed at the men in their native tongue.

you noticed the woman standing before you, "whats this? is this the one you idiots somehow managed to lose?" she asked. she knew the answer already but wanted her dogs to respond.

"so you're sin nombre..." you looked at her. "i wanted a meeting with you but your dogs couldn't do a simple task to give me what i wanted." you said as you tried to move your body away.

soap and alejandros pov

"ghost," alejandro spoke, "no sign of zero but we made our way to sin nombres door."

ghost cursed under his breath, "get PID."

"snake cam is set, get PID on sin nombre." alejandro told soap.

soap looked into the cam and seen that you were standing there, restrained. "fuckin' hell." soap cursed.

soap moved his attention away from the snake cam and looked at alejandro, "what is it, hermano?" he aske him.

"its zero and the woman i spoke to earlier? its valeria, she's sin nombre." he told him.

ghosts voice came through the ear piece, "did you just say zero is with sin nombre?" he wanted confirmation but graves pulled the team back to the task that was needed.

"we need sin nombre, lets wrap this up." graves told them, "we got PID on sin nombre, get her."

alejandro and soap looked at each other and understood what needed to be done.

get you out alive as well as sin nombre.

"we're moving in, you ready?" alejandro asked.

"check." said graves.

"ghost?"

"ready." said ghost.

zeros pov

you heard the doors behind you burst open and sin nombre grabbed you from her men. you tried to fight her but she held a knife to your face when you notice a helicopter was above you both.

"let me go and she lives." sin nombre told graves and his men.

you notice soap and alejandro pointing their weapons at her. her grip tightened on you, "dont!" you told them.

you know that your team would've taken the shot if given the chance but you needed her alive and unhurt. "yeah... dont." sin nombre mocked.

"put the knife down!" soap ordered her, as soap ordered her to do so she dragged the knife on your cheek causing you to bleed.

you cursed at the pain but soon heard the knife fall to the ground as it followed a tazing sound. "secure the target!" graves told soap and alejandro.

time skip to 02 november 2022

"ghost! i have the controls to the missile." you commed to him.

"how the hell did you manage to do that?" he asked you while looking at graves.

"you took too long getting your asses up here." was all you said, "i dont think i can disarm it. its too late for that." you told them.

"making our way up to you," graves responded.

you seen ghost, soap and graves rushing in the room you were standing in.

you didnt specialize in aborting missiles but you tried everything you could from the knowledge that you did have, "abort code wont work." you told graves.

graves reported to shepherd about the situation at hand, "if we cant disarm we must detonate." you heard him say.

"zero! on the controls." graves ordered you.

soap and ghost took guard of the your flank as you grabbed the controls.

"what are we going to detonate the missile on?" you asked graves.

graves shook his head as he messed with the pad, "on the oil rig. its the only chance we got!"

you looked at ghost.

ghost understood what was said with just a look and ordered alejandro and his team to clear the rig.

you followed graves' orders to cause the missile to detonate on the oil rig causing graves to throw a small celebration as you were able to stop the missile from its inital target.

"good work. get ready to get home." shepherd told you all over comms.

you gave soap a small fist bump as he raised his hand asking for one.

ghost gave you a pat on the shoulder.

you lot made your way back to transportation to head back to alejandros base. you were stuck in the middle of ghost and soap in the backseat.

soap had eventually fell asleep on the ride back and you were too uncomfortable as soap made the backseat practically his bed. you noticed that ghost was pressed against the door and moved one of his arms to rest on the head rest behind you to possibly give you more space.

you couldnt tell if he was feeling uncomfortable or if he was just being his usual quiet self as he stared off in the distance out the window but you were thankful that he tried to make space for you.

you noticed the cars ahead of you stopped near the entrance of alejandros base.

graves got out of his car and alejandro followed.

their voices were muffled, you nudged soap to wake him up to get out. "get up, johnny." ghost said before exiting the car - you followed ghost as soap was the last to exit.

"step away from the gate." said graves.

alejandro looked at graves with a questionable expression, "this is my base." alejandro told.

"im taking over," said graves - he turned to look at you, soap and ghost, "you all have been relieved. thank you for your service." he told us.

"graves?" you asked.

"i need you all to leave." he looked at you.

soap stepped in, "you're out of line, graves." he told him. graves pointed his finger at you all, "dont do something you will regret." he warned.

ghost stepped infront of you, "is that a threat?" ghost asked.

"you should know i dont make treats but promises." said graves.

you rolled your eyes at him but no one could see, "does shepherd know?!" you asked finally peaking behind from ghost.

graves looked at the ground, "it was his idea and he wishes you all well." he said.

"bullshit." you spit at the ground.

as graves continued bickering with you about shepherd and what the hell was going on ghost and soap looked at each other. this wasn't going to end well. graves has a big ego about being a big shot and being the man in charge.

"my men are inside!" finally yelled alejandro.

a smug smile appeared on graves' face, "they've been detained." he told alejandro.

all hell broke loose at those words.

before you knew it ghost stuck a knife in two men that were in front and behind you both. you pulled out your pistol to shoot the man that appeared from behind the car.

ghost looked at you as a thank you for covering him.

you heard soap groan in pain and he fell back, you tried to take a shot at graves but he managed to quickly dodge and you shot the man behind him who caused the wounding shot to soap.

"get out!" ghost yelled to soap. he was struggling from losing blood.

you were willing to stay and take the fight against the dirty bastard graves but ghost pulled you away from the scene when he confirmed that soap made it out.

"its not worth it!" yelled ghost to you.

you listened to your L.t. and followed him, just as you turned your back to focus on what was ahead of you, one of graves' men was able to get a shot on you.

a bullet wound entered from the back and was able to exit out your collarbone, "fuck!" you cursed. ghost stopped quickly to scan what was wrong and seen the wound.

"lets get somewhere safe and we'll take care of it." he reassured you.

to be continued...

please keep in mind this is a potential slow burn! smutty simon and fluffy simon will make an appearance at some point(s) in the series.

i do not own anything of call of duty or any of the characters. I rewrote some bits of the campaign to include 'zero' for structure for the rest of my story.

taglist: @splicer13vex @hugs4coya @palomaxaxaxa @ahmya-4 @nameless-ghoul @ryunniez @luvr-bunnyy @junedevil @hungrhay @keliiii @churchofrain

reblog: hello! i woke this morning and decided to check this post and noticed that somehow the story was repeated twice. (oops) but i fixed some errors in spelling and fixed the big issue!! much love.

#simon ghost riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley fanfic #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish #captain price #mw2 #mw2 fanfic #cod x reader #cod mw2 #ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #task force 141 #xcixseries #femreader

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doublekanble · 1 month

Text

dead meat

Alastor/reader (gnc)

romantic-platonic

word count: 11.1k

Or, the progress of going down and deeper. (please treat this as if theyre a bunch of drafts coupled together (they are) this read so much funnier if you keep in mind the fact alastor have genuine feelings/genuinely cares for you but he’s just batshit insane) its 13min til 2am if theres an error no theres not tw: gorish talks and imagery littered thru specifically 1, 5 and 7. alastor chased you down in 7.

1. Because you listen.

When you finally came back — frayed at the seams, run-through you with a headache and a rock in hand. You looked down, the warm wetness oozing from him and seeping into your pants quickly turn cold. You couldn’t tell what you’re looking at for a minute, adrenaline still running through you and your head ache just a tad. When you finally see the pink bits and the leaking blood, your breath runs ragged and your thought run miles. You try to remember all the warning your mother gave you about getting involved with a man like Alastor, you don’t know how you’ll tell mom she never gave you any advice or warning about this.

“God… Oh my God what did I—What—“

Not a single book warned you about the way you physically feel ill touching a body growing cold. So with guts churning and the prickling on your skins, you scrambled to throw yourself off and backing away from the body on all four. Desperately, you called out to whatever is there and beg in your head to wake you up from this nightmare of a show. And when you hit something distinctly warm and alive from behind, you call out to it, thinking it’s your mother, coming to save you from this, to tell you that it’s alright and that everyone make mistakes and this is nothing more than a bad dream. You’ll wake up from this soon, in your childhood bed, in your childhood room, in your childhood house and you’ll be anywhere else and not here.

But when the warmth embraces you, and you feel a warmer breath by your right ear, pressing a soft smile and a bliss-filled chuckle into it, it hit you that your mother would’ve hated you if she sees this. If she sees him.

“Oh, mon Chéri, I knew you’d have it in you” You hate the way the voice swallowed and a take a breath, as if mesmerized by the sight, like you but so wholly unlike you, it whispered in your ear, “What a show. What a show.”

Your eyes is focused on him, but not on him, not a person. That couldn’t be a person at all. Saliva tasting bitter, the bile rising in your throat hurts as you desperately tries and tear your eyes away from it. But enraptured by the intricacies inside his head, you only do so much before finding yourself looking closer for something you couldn’t understand.

“Don’t worry,” setting his lips on your temple, he sigh into your skin, one hand held onto yours and gently rubbing the red from your fingers onto his, as if helping you clean up, “It’s your first time, everything will be so much better once you’re used to it.”

Your eyes flickered between the thing and whatever of yourself visible to you. It’s all red, so much red. Its head, his head was caved in, you can see the front of his skull, everything else is everywhere. How could this ever get any better if it’s going to be this red? Was it going to be this red every other time too? You can feel your fingers going numb from the grip you have on that rock, you can feel the dent from where it dug into your palm, you can feel clearly the traces of well-kept nails running down your left arm from where he tries to pull you away. And every bit of it is red. And suddenly your clothes and his grip and the night air and your skin felt just a bit too tight, too suffocating. Your brain pulses and compressed against your skull. It hurts to think, it hurts way much more to speak.

“I—I don’t want to – I can’t-“

“I thought I couldn’t too, until I did it again, and then again. And then I realized that this,” raising the hand he held onto so kindly, almost like guiding your eyes to the sight. While the pain in your stomach is almost unbearable, he couldn’t sound any more ecstatic. “This, is freedom. Our freedom”

You were sure that the freedom that you’ve been yearning for wasn’t supposed to be associate with a corpse. No type of freedom will ever be going to drive someone to cracked open a skull in the middle of the night. There’s nothing but pure malice that will drive someone to bring a rock onto another man’s head and refuses to stop even when his ears bleed and he stop fighting and started begging. Your mother hated Alastor, and she never break his skull open. You hated your mother, and you never break her skull open.

You want to open your mouth and tell him to shut up. You want to say your mother was right, you shouldn’t have gotten involved with him, no matter how inviting his offer is. You shouldn’t have run off night after night chasing the daylight with him. He is a scoundrel, he is disgusting, he’s the worst type of delusional criminal there is, the most pretentious man in all of Louisiana. But you can’t, because you just maimed a good man and refused to hear his pleas. With nothing left to you, you all but break down into his arms.

“There, there~” he coos into your hair as your wailing get swallowed up by the cold night air, “I’m right here, aren’t I?” if only he’s anywhere else but here with you, mouth spewing reassurances one after the other.

(It’s alright, he’ll take care of it today. It’s ok, he’ll teach you about some other day. From now on, you’re going with him, whether liking it or not.)

2. Because you wouldn’t

“Isn’t he one of those highbrows you like to rub shoulders with?” her tone accusing and upset, you almost choked on your tea when she slapped the papers down in front of your food and walk out the living room. Even though you have an idea about what she talk about – the news came out just in time for it to be covered on the radio first, you still pick it up and scanned your eyes along.

“So I’m supposed to remember every face I came by now?” you glowered to yourself, “How do you know who I’m ‘rubbing shoulders’ with anyway?”

Over the sounds of your heart beating wildly in your ears, over the humming in your head, you hear her mumbled something about “that boy” as she starts to vacuumed the carpet. It’s a ridiculous thought, but for a brief second, you were sure she’s going to ask you about your numb fingers.

‘SON OF FAMOUS MUSICIAN, REPORTED MISSING AFTER NIGHT OUT-’

It’s so odd to you, how much he worth, yet how little people care. Name printed in bold font atop news about the fast declined of the economy and crashing stock markets a full week after he disappeared. He never told you his full name, nor does anyone around him ever make mention of it despite their occasional jeering and jokes. You didn’t bother with it at the time, you two weren’t the most talkative person in the room, let alone together.

Then again, it does make sense. He told you before that he’s not proud of what he came from or what he became, under drowsy lights and forced to sit side-by-side like all the other night. You still can’t drink, he still can’t dance while being miserably drunk, and nobody else wants to babysit a miserable drunk. You don’t get why anyone needs you to look after him, despite being so out of his head, he seems perfectly well with handling himself.

Your lift the tea cup to your dry lips and take a sip, the tea tasted bitter.

A voice loudly called for you, irritation written clear in it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and all but jump to her spot in the small hall, unwilling to let the two talks for more than necessary. Your mother stand with a huff to her posture.

“It’s him again.”

You laugh dryly, “It’s always him, mom.” tugging the receiver from her hand, you bring it up to your ears. The moment you do, a chuckle rang out. You shivers.

“There’s the lad of the hour! Why, I almost thought your mother was trying to stringed me along before shutting the line off again!” the mother in question grunt and grumble about how annoyingly persistent he is, you agree. Last time she did so, the phone kept ringing until she relented. “In any case, I hoped you’re all up and ready today!”

“We have nothing planned today.” Your reply was immediate and flat, hoping he would leave you alone, but Alastor only laughs in an almost affectionate tone.

“And I’m here to changed that!” he exclaimed, you run a hand down your face and try to keep your calm.

“Alastor, John’s missing. This is not the time.” you whispered sharply into the receiver, hoping to whatever’s true he’ll shut his trap for once. You’re not interested in getting caught by the neighbours over the phone of all thing.

“John? Now that sounds familiar…” he pauses, you can almost see the way he turn a brow up and pretends like he’s lost in thought, it’s almost endearing, “Why, isn’t that the lad I named on the radio yesterday?! What a horrible case! Some people are saying he finally throw himself onto a train and-“

“Alastor!” at the sound of your own voice scrapping in your ears, you pauses. You relax your grip and lower your voice, doing your best not to pay attention to the figure peeking out from your kitchen, “Listen, I don’t have the time to play around. Get to the point.”

“Clearly, you’ve the time for nothing, you and your mother…” sighing heavily, he dropped the act. “Fine, fine. I’ll stop kidding. We’ll talk once I get there. Be ready in twenty.”

“Wh— Alastor!“ The phone turn dead in your hand and you’re left standing in the hallway.

You stare at the receiver in shock, then, you grip it. Holding back the urge to break it open over the table it sits on, grinding your teeth, you place the receiver back. You clutched at the end of the table and count to ten, jaws aching and head spinning from anger. Even with your head hanging low, you can hear footsteps falling along the hallway. Your mother red house slippers stand in view from the side, you wondered if you can burn it and buy another pair.

“You’re going out with that creepy radio host again.” she’s standing with her hand crossed and an exasperated look, you just know it.

“Mom, please,” heaving a sigh of your own, you don’t want her to rub it in your face, even if she doesn’t know it, “Alastor’s not creepy. He’s a good man, I promise.” you have to believe he’s a good man, after everything. If you don’t, you’ll lose the rest of your mind. You prayed that she leave you alone, but she kept pressing.

“You keep saying that, but I know he’s nothing but trouble. I mean- look at you!? You looked so exhausted every day. Every time you leave with that scurf, you came back looking more lost than before!”

Turning to her, you have a retort at the tip of your tongue, you always do. But the looks on her face was nowhere near what you thought it was, so you stumbled. For a second, your vision blurs and your head spins. When it cleared up, your eyes met.

“That good for nothing man, dragging you out every night! Have he ever asked what you want before?!”

Standing like a cornered rat, you try to find your voice.

“I-“ you swallowed again, “I don’t mind it, mom. I like going out.”

Have your mother always looked this tired and worn beyond her age? It almost as if she’s been holding the world alone. She said your name, and you feel all lost again. Like a small child with bare knees stripped red and wailing for her to come and save you.

“You don’t even like parties.”

You remember how much she always scolded you when you got yourself into troubles, but your mom always patches you up while she does so. In the time frame before your home became more of a house and your front door is a front door without any sort of implications. And then it hit you just how old mom looked now. She used to be so tall compared to you, but now you’re over her slightly hunching figure, a little bit or a lot, it’s just enough to look down on her. Suddenly, the world feels too constricting and your skin feels too tight.

All this time, she wasn’t angry at all, was she? Your mom haven’t been angry for a long time now. But it doesn’t change you, it doesn’t change anything else. You closed your eyes and push a breath through your nose.

“Maybe I’ve changed, mom,” you walk past her into the living and tug on your overcoat with fingers stained red, fighting against the waver in your voice and hoping she won’t hear it, “maybe you should be happy for me.”

Alastor always take less than twenty to show up, but you didn’t know how long he was watching you for before clearing his throat. You didn’t bother to respond, only lifted your head up to make sure it wasn’t some random prude before shifting aside. He have the decency to stay silent and sit down with you on your front porch, offering a sympathetic smile at your sorry state and gently wiped away your tears with his red handkerchief when you refused to move and take it yourself. It wasn’t the first time you sit out and wait for him on the porch instead of listening to her outburst, but it was the first time you ever cry over it.

You wanted so desperately to turn back and tell her that you haven’t change, that you’re still her little kid. The same one that want to sit out the parties and the smokes and the dancing and the jazz just to spent the days working on something with her nearby, in the kitchen working on something or sleeping in the armchair, always in the old set of red house slippers. You want to show her something you make, only for her to not get a single part about it. You want to fall at her feet and begged her to tell you you’re still the same kid. You want her to go back to closing the front door and locking you away from the world again.

But you’re nothing but a rat, fresh off from a murder. You’d soon throw yourself in front a running train than to ever let mom know her child will ever do anything wrong. So you swallowed everything back, stand up, and walked away from her porch with Alastor hot on your trail, smiling all the while.

(you want to tell her you haven’t changed at all, but you know better than anyone else. you thought you know better.)

3. Loosely, you’ll fall.

The show was an utter bore, you’ve concluded. The allure of watching history made quickly died out when it pertains to dancing, something you’ve been watching people do with much more grace. It might’ve been much more interesting too, if the dull drums in your head invites itself out. But even when you step outside into open air outside the theater, it remains.

“Well, that certainly was… something.” Walking after you in a leisured pace with one hand behind his back, another going back and forth on brushing off his coat or adjusting his glasses, to anyone else, he looked completely normal. But you know him long enough. “I could’ve sworn it’s a musical show.”

Usually, it’s fairly hard to catch Alastor in a flustered state, facial or demeanour wise. You supposed years of practice couldn’t really stamp out personal discomfort. You would’ve felt bad, but you don’t have enough strength to bother.

“There is musical, alright,” you grumbled, a hand to your temple as you walk on without waiting for him, “I’d say it’s too much even.”

Obediently, silently, Alastor traces your footstep as you seethe to yourself. You were supposed to be back in bed and sleep away this headache and your free day at this hour. It’s a shame you just can’t help from talking back to your mom and chased yourself out of the house, onto the street, and right into his games.

You wish you could rub those kissing scenes into his face and mocked his offbeat timid nature and tell him to go shove it. For once, the mere thought of intimacy itself reminds you of that night and forced you to think about how Alastor always stands just a bit too close to you, always just behind you. It takes everything in you to not scratch at your wrist and tears your skin open, so you opted for patience and sympathy, no matter how much the image haunted your eyelids said otherwise.

Before you know it, the voices and the hollers and bumping shoulders traded itself for a single bell chiming, then hushed murmurs and echoing clinks of porcelains and glasses filled the space. You invited yourself to a small spot off in the corner with a lone seat and hunched over with your left hand over your face, while Alastor comes up to the counter. When he came back, he pulls another chair from the table right next to yours and all but covered you from everyone else’s sight. You stare at him in between the webs of your fingers while Alastor rest his chin in his right hand and hums all softly at you.

“You should’ve told me it’s still there, dear. I wouldn’t have bother dragging you out.” His free hand brush against yours in a gesture you can blindly guess as benign and kind. Unlike the Alastor from this morning, unlike him in the theater. Unlike Alastor from the broadcast and unlike the man holding onto you that night. You’ve seen this so many times before in so many people, it’s just make-believe for adults and you’ve already seen this in him. You thought you have, anyway, so you take your hand away from him and look at the approaching waitress. It must’ve been a trick of the light, the way his eyes grows just a bit darker. But you still think hard about what you would’ve said back then.

“I need to get out anyway, better here than there right now.” You would’ve been fine with the idea of going back in, but by the time you do, Alastor was standing in front of you, and you would rather let him think whatever he wants than to pissed him off even further somehow.

“Better with me~” When push comes to shove, he is a bitter man with a silver tongue, you’ve seen him pour drinks onto people and getting away scot-free. It’s always funny to everyone else in the group, until they’re at the direct end of his bitter temper.

Alastor have never even so much as raising his voice at you in anger, but you also thought he would never kill anyone, so you refuse to take any chances. As long as you stay cordial and don’t step past your line, Alastor won’t ever have a reason to. So long as you keep to your leash, he’ll be pleasant and let you go home soon. It leave a nasty taste on your tongue, how you know exactly what to do with him.

“Whatever you say, Alastor.” Gently nursing your headache, you sits a bit straighter. You really couldn’t tell what’s worse, the oddly plastic smell of the café, or the light from the bulbs burning your retinas. “You never told me why we’re out here in the first place.”

Clapping his hand together, he grins. “Oh, yes! Terribly sorry my dear, I figured we shouldn’t talk about it over the party line. Who knows what else is lurking, yeah?” you stay seated despite your instinct telling you to run. You know this was coming anyway, “See, we didn’t get to celebrate the other day. You got so sick, after all-”

He kept on talking, seemingly perfectly fine with you tuning him out. Even if he’s not fine with it, he can’t do anything to stop the almost freakish way statics filled your head and washes your entire body in a cold and numbing wave of sweat, electrics ran through your head while you grips your hair. And it’s almost like he knows what’s going through you, because he wiped away a drop of sweat running from your forehead with a knowing smile.

“Be careful now, if you get sick, I’ll have to take care of you.”

“As if you can take a step into my house.” As if she’s ever going to let him take a single step inside after today. But he kept that irritating look on him, if only the thought of tearing it off his face doesn’t hurt you so badly.

“Who said it’ll be at your house~”

His chuckle right after shuts you up. Right, you forgot. Of course you did. He have a lodge somewhere near a bayou. You weren’t sure whether Alastor meant it as a tease or a threat, you don’t really want to think about it. So you forced a laugh when he grows just a tad silent. Tilting his head, he looked at you with something you couldn’t tell, and like aways, he switch topics without a bat of an eye while you sat there with sweats running down your back in the middle of winter.

You reach for your cup and bring it to your lips without bothering to know what’s in it, trying to follow along while Alastor rattled off a to-do list he made without your consent for today’s hangout. A visit to a confectionary shop, a trip to the tailor, quick stop at a small dinner he discovered recently and, if there’s still time, he can take you to your book shop. As your vision blurred for a second, the bitter taste of coffee hit your tongue, and it took everything in you to bite back a swear and to hold your mask of politeness. Accidentally flitting your eyes up, you catch him smiles. But it isn’t the kind of smile friend gives to one another, it isn’t the type where two people love and care for each other. So you keep your gaze low and keep drinking the coffee he ordered, at least they do a decent enough job at taking your mind off of John.

(somehow, it felt so familiar, it wasn’t until the moment you crawl back into your warm bed after a cold dinner that it hit you. it wasn’t against your ear this time, but it was the same smile. you swallowed the acid in your throat and thought about how many people saw it just before they lay six-feet under.)

4. And when you finally fall,

John wasn’t that much of an asshole, but he lives like he’s the most wretched man in all of Louisiana. A shadow of a person, beyond that of a ghost. Alastor told you that the only reason anyone ever stuck around is because John have more money than anyone could ever understand, and as long as you can withstand the awkward silent and the sneers, you can count your worries for the night’s drinks goodbye.

Coming from a long and well-known line of gifted artist, John was set for life, even with his less-than-responsible lifestyle. His great grandfather wrote plays, his grandfather paint, his father plays the piano and John drink himself blind. He stop touching anything that even insinuate the idea of creating art on his twenty birthday. Ever since, he wanders the night, going from place to place to emptied his family’s wealth into pretty floozies and drink away his own shame.

With an eerily out of place grin, just close enough to his normal happy demeanour to count, just a bit too wide to be normal, Alastor show you off to John like an exotic pet while his friends already dash off to dance.

“Oh! And how could I forget, this one might not be able to play it, but they have a fantastic taste in music!” then, he turns to you with a friendly hand on your shoulder and a sympathetic look, “If only you ever have the means to pick it up, you’ll be the talk of the town for sure!””

“Surely.” John reply with an odd laugh and look you up and down, suddenly the idea of sitting back with him and watching the others felt just a bit too much for you. But you only brushed their comment off with a wave of your hand. Acting like you didn’t pick up on how John down his drink with just a bit more fervour and Alastor smiles breached the border of normalcy before he pats your back gently, as if encouraging a shy dog to socialize, before inviting himself out and leaving you alone with a man you’re not sure was all there.

You tell yourself you just won’t go with Alastor to his night parties next time, but you pick up the phone every time. And every night you have to sit right by John’s side in complete silent when everyone spreads across the bar.

At first, it was somewhat scary and unpleasant. Then, it was awkward and uncomfortable. Every time you sit right next to him, he would scoff and chuff at you under his breath. Refusing to ever talk or look at you. Unless it was time to leave, John will never do anything more than call for a drink and then sip on it until he needs another one. Every time Alastor came to check up on you, he would smile at you sweetly and make a jab or two at John. You figured by now it’s a show of sort to him, but sometimes you still make a small effort to shut Alastor up and direct him back to whatever he was doing before. It became your new normal for half a year at least.

And then one night, completely worn out and tired with the day and the loud jazz inside a loud room with lousy lights and lousy companion, you stand up without a word to anyone and went out the back door. Outside in the cold air of October, you huddled by a wall inside the back-alley and pulled your knees to your chest. Staring at your hands, you can only sigh and ruffled your hair, digging the palm of your hand into the base of your skulls and wishing you can break it open.

“If you’re so tired, then why not haul yourself back home?”

Jumping up with a yelp, you clutched at your heart, completely missing the door creaking open the first time. You forgot how John even sounded like for a minute, voice low and gruff, completely contrasting everyone else in the group.

“…” halfway peeking through the door and staring impassively, you wondered why he even bother when he seems so done with you. Words right on the tip of your tongue, you him a passing glance, debating whether this worth an excuse out of your pocket. He cut you off before you even begin to open your mouth.

“What? You’re deaf now?” John shouldered the door and step outside fully, standing in front of you.

“…And if I am?” You frown, this feels too much like being scolded. At least his voice is kinder to your ears . “Better off if you are.” He chuckled, “…So?” You would be upset, but you’re too tired and he’s not leaving you alone, so you shrugs your shoulder apathetically.

“Horrible day at work, fight with my mom, then got dragged out here again.”

“Heh, figured.” You glare up at him, he raises his hands up in defence, whiskey with a single ice cube in its glass clinking as he does so, “You seems miserable whenever the lot isn’t around to see.”

You want to spat at him, what would he know about you? But you know he’s right. It really does feel miserable, going all the way out here just to sit and having nothing to do. So you dropped your head into your palm and groan.

“Ugh-…Is it that obvious?”

He cackle, you take it as a yes and sink your head a bit lower at the sound.

“Why not just—not come?” taking a sip from his whiskey, he sat next to you without invitation, “You can just say no to him, y’know.”

“As if I haven’t tried.” You grumbled, but stop when he raised a brow at you, motion for you to keep on. A bit clueless, you shrugs again, “What? You know him for longer than me. You should know that.”

John looks at you as if you’re stupid, and you’re beginning to think you are. Pointing a finger at you, he asked you about your job. Then with a nod, he stated outright.

“But you don’t do anything for him.”

You sputtered, the irony of a drunkard basically calling you useless and being right about it doesn’t escape you at all.

“What does that have to do with anything? He’s a persistent guy, that’s it.”

“That bastard doesn’t bother hanging around anything that isn’t useful. He’s not that type of guy.”

“Then what type of guy is he?” you ask. He looks at you, licked the top row of his teeth, then heave a heavy sigh.

Dowing the rest of his whiskey, John stand up and offers you a hand. You hesitate before slowly taking hold of it and nearly fell over when he pulled you up. He mumbled a half-hearted sorry with a look.

“Not whatever you’re thinking of him, that’s for sure,” he drag you inside by the shoulder, snickering when you try to keep up and failing miserably before slowing down for you, “Now common, I need another drink.”

It’s all John ever told you about Alastor, it’s all you ever need, but you never listen.

John didn’t change fully after that night, but he still change somewhat. The John that was so drained and empty was still there, but he sits up a bit straighter, as if managed to confirmed whatever else he have in his head. For three months, you two never talked about what happened in the back alley, nor do you talk at all. He still down enough drink to kill an elephant and lost his balance to the point someone needs to take him home. But he nodded his head whenever he’s not tipsy enough that the ceiling spins like a globe and you catches eyes, and sitting beside him felt a bit less draining and off-putting.

You told Alastor about it later, the conversation you two have in the back alley, because of course you do, telling everything to your good friend. Alastor would then look over whenever John’s acting friendlier to you, because of course he does, and joked about it. You saved him five years of his life, he laugh. You laugh along because his tone seems just a bit off. You sometimes think about who Alastor is, whenever you have a moment to sit back and contemplates everything between you two. But not for long, because like clockwork, Alastor would pull you away to do whatever he wants for the day, and like always, you would follow along with little to no complains.

Sometime before John went “missing”, you break the thinning layer of ice between you two and tell him out of the blue that you never actually touch an instrument in your life, but you wished you have the chance to. You thought he would’ve laugh at you, but he sat through your recount of younger you being enthralled by a street musician, seeing it as a form of liberty you can only hope to capture through any other art you made. He asked why, you said there was no space in your life for making music. Not then, not now. He asked if it’s ever a regret, you stay silent.

You asked him to play you something, he huff a laugh behind his glass, but shut up when you didn’t laugh along. A false police alarm got the place empty enough for your group early that night, and the owner was desperate enough for extra cash, enough for him to mousey up and play a song you remember by heart. He played really well, you told him. His playing is the bare minimum, it lacks the souls his father have, he sneers at you. He doesn’t need to have a soul in it, just get used to being mediocre while having fun instead, you reply, leaning against the piano and staring at the group chatting away from you two. He didn’t bother with a counter, but he kept playing, this time it’s a melody you’ve never heard before. You saw Alastor turning his head to you two, but you pay him no mind and turn back to John. He looked so calm playing something like this.

John trips over his fingers and curses a lot, you tell him to keep playing. Until the song’s finished and you left standing in silence for just a bit, waiting for the other to say something. Turning the word over in your mouth, you’re a bit speechless, like you’re face-to-face with a kindred soul. But there’s no real comfort in telling a drowning man he can breathe, so you say his melody felt like home.

Worn beyond his age and exhausted in a way that’s so out of place for someone who have the world in his hand, his smile was genuine, facing towards you, like an old friend and a warm meal. The bar dives and the social circles Alastor loved pulling you along have always made you feel so out of place. Their grin’s too perfect and their voices too pleasant, all with an oddly rotten attitude. It’s like watching a picture show, it’s not how people genuinely act, it’s the semblance of one.

Maybe that’s why you and John never got along too well, he was too busy hiding his face behind glasses of gin and whiskeys, you’re too busy hiding in Alastor shadows. But you both never play along, and you both never faced each other fully before that night. You hope John never have that realization, the fact you’ve never faced him at all.

Then before you knew it, his face to the ground, all red, turned from you. That’s all you knew about John Holloway, that’s all he ever get to tells you.

(deep inside, you want to say that it wasn’t your fault. but the difference between getting swept along with life and standing in a back alley with blood on your hands is that somewhere in your empty head, you did register his scream. there’s a reason you can’t see his face and there’s a reason the rock was in your red hand, sitting in your red palm.)

5. so far down, you won’t know the way home

The forest floor was red, by the time you realized it.

It wasn’t by your hand, but it’s enough for you to step back and breathe. It always so odd to you, just how easy it really is to see in the dark, even when the moon hides away behind strips of clouds. In the dark, at the dead of night, your eyes should’ve been blind to the red that’s bleeding all over, but it never does. It took you a second to remember what you’re supposed to be looking at, and you turn the light towards the main figure, standing so proudly in the middle of this. In through nose, out the mouth. Don’t focus on the thing below, look at him and smile. He smiles back, genuine joy stiches itself on every corner of his face. If only this flashlight is weaker.

“Sorry darlin’. This one have more fight in him than I thought he would,” he strides towards you, the familiar metallic stench overwhelms your senses when his red hand came up to tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear, “Good thing we got it done before he find his way out, huh?”

Good thing he got it done at all, you thought. You can only bother to hide your exhaustion with a mute nod and a grim grin. Knowing exactly how this will plays out again, you remind yourself to be ready. Alastor laughs and pat your cheek affectionately before pulling you by your hand towards the corpse quickly growing cold amongst the grass. As he does, you try to ignore the echoing in your eardrums.

It was gut wrenching at first. The panting, the gasping, frantic steps that echoes through the empty woods, devoid of bird calls, devoid of life. Just a hound, chasing its prey, and a vulture perched on a tree waiting, watching. The choked exhale when they fall, eventually tired out and tripped over themselves or getting a bullet to the thigh. The way they all looked so confused, then they bargain, then they get mad and calls him every name under the sun before shutting up and look at him in the eye. You weren’t sure just how he looked to them, but perversely, you’re glad you never get to see it.

They scream and yell and beg for someone to please come and save them until they can’t anymore, but it felt like they never stop at all.

“Come here.”

He sits you down by the body, open and ready, still holding onto your wrist while you fight every bone in your body to keep your hand still and keep your foot nailed down. His face, flushed with excitement and sweat running down his forehead as he rattled on about how soon, you’ll have enough guts to do this with him instead of only ever following after and picking up the scraps.

“Remember that feeling? Remember the rush?” lifting your clenching fist up to his lips, he smiles and chases your gaze, you stare back, “Etch it into your brain, don’t ever forget it.”

With that, he plunges your fist into the open cavern of flesh and red and it feels so incredibly blasphemous and wrong. While Alastor knitted his fingers atop yours and guide your hand through the process, you feel your senses grows fuzzy around the edge. Half of you wish that headache didn’t die after the 3rd time, at least then you have something else to focus on other than the sopping wet red mush slipping in and out between your frozen fingers. The idea that someone’s inside would immediately cool off after their death is a farce to you, their warmth still so tangible and so fragile it takes everything in you to stop the burning acid from bursting in your throat. He told you on your fifth time that if you vomit on the body, he’ll have you cleaning it with him, sounding just a tad bit considerate, as if the idea of forcing you into doing something you dislike hurts him.

It's almost too much to think about, how you’re becoming something so different, something that’s just enough to his liking, to the point where all you have left are instincts and the alarms in your head. It felt like years ago when your weekdays are filled with nothing but sitting inside your cozy home and looking out the window, hoping one day you’ll be able to experience that high life and being cared for by someone who love you with everything they have, even if it’s the worst experience of your life. It’s almost like decades ago when your thoughtcrimes are no more than passerby on a long day and your smile is a sham but it’s ok because everyone bought into it and you do too. Now you spent your days looking behind your shoulders for excuses while pinprick runs up your neck, waiting for the day you’ll be buried with the people he hate.

You hope when, not if, you do have to, you’ll manage to come up with an excuse to mom for the body in that alley way. You clenched your fist, only the red squelching and spongy inside of a man you barely know respond.

(the hound stare up at the vulture and leave with a red maw, it watches the vulture from the shadow of the trees. the vulture learned to ignore the hound and feast away at leftovers.)

6. I hope you’ll call out for my name.

Unconsciously, you tap your index finger to a rhythm a man showed you some years ago. One you called beautiful, and one that made him smile. Like always, your weary and sunken eye catches red painting your left hand, but you only sigh and return to penning out your letter. A ringing echoes throughout your bleak and empty house, but no voice call out for you. There’s no point in picking up, you simply let the call die on its own. If it’s him, he’ll crawl his way to the front door with or without that call either way.

When the noise abruptly ended and didn’t pick up again, you put down your pen and hold the letter in hands that never lost its stain. Staring down at the words you’ve painstakingly poured over since her funeral, you crumbled the page and held your head. Over and over again, you write and write, hoping that some way, somehow, something can change.

But like always, nothing is enough, so you throw the paper into the small bin next to your seat, holding back the urge to throw everything else on the table with it too; your mom raise a murderer, not an ill-manner rodent. There’s no longer a point in lamenting things that can never be change in your lifetime. You can do this tomorrow, or the next day, or the day next to that, you’re considering how to go out still. As long as he’s not here, that is. You check the clock, eleven and a half, you have around fifteen minutes before he’s here.

Alastor was always suffocating, you thought, dragging yourself to a wardrobe that haven’t felt familiar for more than half a year now. Nosy and meddlesome, it’s something you picked up on even when you were a doe-eye little rat running across the night without realizing you were walking with a hunting hound, but you always thought it was simply how Alastor cares about people. Your mom was right, you were so naïve about him, thinking he can care for anyone else aside from his mother and himself.

He was always suffocating, but ever since the funeral, he all but latch onto you.

The pure black outfit he gave you was something you would wear to mom’s funeral. But coming from him, it makes you feel like a stranger was staring back from the mirror’s view, out of your own skin. So you boxed it and hid it under the sofa after the whole thing.

And of course, Alastor knows this. So whenever he browse through your wardrobe on his own accord, he would always make sure to make a comment about how these plain and boring clothes never look right on you with a good-nature smile. You no longer have the mind to bother with a reply, so you let him do whatever he wants. As long as he get his digs in, you get your peace of mind. The things in here means the world to you, but what use is there to defend something you’ll soon have no use for.

Clicking your tongue, you pulled out something that looks decent for the street and locked the door to your room. You fixed your clothes until it fits right on you and sat on your bed, wondering if you should just stay inside and make him take some couple extra steps. But decidedly, being in your own room with him will always be so much more unnerving of an experience rather than just letting him shuffling through your stuff on his own. So, the door to your room open with a click, and you step out into long familiar but distant hallways. You wish you can unlearn the concept of loving something that isn’t tangible anymore. It’ll make the hallways a bit brighter.

Like usual, you peek into the empty, almost sterile kitchen and walk up to her armchair. After confirming that you’re alone today also, you found yourself back on the sofa with nothing else to do, simply waiting for Alastor. Checking the time again, it’s exactly mid-day now, so his mother must’ve needed help with something, you’ll have to wait for a bit. Gulping down the uncomfortable heavy weight that settled over your heart since a year and a half ago, refusing to ever die, you lie down and close your eyes.

A year, a half, two week and three days, it’s really a wonder how you work. Maybe that’s what Alastor sees in you, a walking list of contradictions, or maybe this is how everyone works, and you were just cruelly kept out of the loop. Even though you never bother to consider her in your own life, ever since a year and a half ago, you wake up staring at the ceiling with bleary eyes wondering what’s she’s doing every day and why you can’t hear her. Then, remembering that she won’t be doing anything from now on, you get up and make yourself breakfast. Sometimes you would still hear someone calling for you, along with the constant ringing from the phone, but then one day, you forgot how she sounded like, so you starts to ignore the calls.

The day you realized you can no longer hear her voice, calling out to you from the door to your house, you’d tried to trace her footstep by opening her cookbook and making the dish she love. One moment, you were staring down into the pages, the next, you’re seated at the counter, surrounded by Alastor’s companions. You’d call for a whiskey. Everyone find it absolutely hilarious and jokes about your new life while you held the glass in your hand and stare down into the amber-colour liquid. Just as Alastor laugh and reach out for your hand to take it away, talking about how you simply won’t be able to handle the aftermath, you knock your head back and the glass ran clear in one gulp. His friends all cheered for you and shoving another glass into your hand, assuring you’ll get used to this soon, but you don’t know how much you can trust them.

Quite frankly, the whiskey was beyond repulsive. As if you just swallowed flaming charcoal, your throat burns so badly, it’s stopping you from forming a single coherent sentence. You can’t stop yourself from tearing up over it, either, vision blurred and unsteady while a beginning of a headache started creeping up on you, so you down whatever’s in your hand again in the hope of becoming familiar with it fast enough to never have to think twice about it. Before a pretty dame in the group can pass you a third drink, you were hauled up by the shoulder and drag out the door, Alastor hissing a goodbye to the group through his teeth.

Storming off ahead and ranting about how utterly irresponsible you are while you stumbled behind him like a fawn, Alastor would slow down and stare when he can’t hear your soft footstep anymore. You remember walking by a closed tailor shop and flopping yourself down, back against the glass window and weeping without a word. He walked back and sit next to you after a while. You know he’s waiting for you to say something on your own, but you only shrink into yourself. You don’t know what was worse in that moment, the burning in your throat, the head splitting ache slowly brewing or the fact you never know your mother favorite food. How are you supposed to grief someone you don’t know anymore?

In the midst of it all is Alastor, who seemingly lost all of his previous anger. You’ve seen a lot of him over the years, you know he sees all of you. But this is the first time you break down without a word or a reason and you wondered if he feels just as lost and confused as you are. It as if he doesn’t know what to do with you once you actually breaks in a way that doesn’t serve his vision of you, in a way he never have to fix before.

“…Tough day?” with an oddly shy tone, he nudge you from the side, “Didn’t know you’re this much of a sad drunk, honey. Guess I was right to keep you off the bottle after all.” He chuckled, then trail off when you stay silent and stare off into nothing.

It must’ve been no more than ten minutes, but it felt like years before you gave up and open your mouth, voice breaking and quiet. “He made it look so easy.”

“He? Michael?”

He perks up the moment you speak, mouthing off the names of all his associates in hope of finding the one that raises your ire. You would’ve found him endearing if things were different, but you cut him off.

“John,” Then as if it’s not enough, as if Alastor never remembers anyone else, you try to keep your voice even while rubbing your eyes “John Holloway. He made drinking look so easy.” Even without looking, you can see his lips pulled into a taut line.

“Ah, right, John Holloway,” rolling his eyes and shuffling that much closer to you and pulling out his handkerchief, he sneers, holding your wrist still while wiping your face, “No doubt he does. If you didn’t take him out, that chump would’ve drink himself to Hell on his own.”

“At least then he gets to pick his own way out…” You huff.

“It’s been years, honey!” done with cleaning you up, he stuff the handkerchief in his left pocket, “I can’t believe you’re still hung up on him!”

With every word out of his mouth, Alastor’s fake and chipper accent gets just a bit firmer, as if finally knowing what to do. Sitting up straight and pulling his glasses off, he wiped it on his vest and ask dismissively.

“When did he die again? Was it 1928?”

“1929,” you breathe and lean your head against the glass, “Remember that musical you called innovative and new?”

“If only I can forget.” He blanch at the thought of it, you smile wistfully.

“The music was nice, it’ll be nice to watch it again.” From the corner of your eyes, you catches his. You hated how he look so content with this.

“That makes one of us…”

After that, a blanket of silence fell onto you two. With a headache in full swing, you recalled asking whether he ever remembers how they look. Chuckling, he only leans close until your nose almost touch and say that he does. You ask if he’ll ever remember you, he froze and stare into your eyes with an almost incomprehensible look. Standing up, he brushes himself from dust and give you a hand, you take it.

Before you two departed in front of a door that no longer lead to a home, he tells you in an almost too quiet voice that he hope he never have to remember you. You hate his everything in that moment. From how his stands was just a tad bit different from his usual tall and confident poised self to the way he looks so abnormal with the corner of his lips dipped down. You hate how you’ve grown fond of his smile, so you turn and closed the door with a good night.

In the morning, sounding like you just dragged yourself from hell back up, you asked him for a clipped picture from the old newspaper and leave it under your pillow. And ever since, you’ve been rewriting the same letter. To everyone that you ever have a hand on, and to John and your mom. But specifically to John and mom.

John was a good man. It’s a shame he drank too much and care too much in one night. It’s a bigger shame that you can’t keep your thoughtcrime as exactly that, a thoughtcrime. He was right, too. You never knew the man you called Alastor, you don’t think you’ll ever do and you’re happy for it. You only ever find the cowardice to take another man’s life with his help, and you’ll only ever find yourself in more trap than being free from it.

You still bought yarns and cookbooks that you think your mother would’ve love. You come back with enough groceries for two people and the kitchen table are always set for two. You check every day in the kitchen for her still. You still crept up behind the armchair just in case she’s sleeping. Her red slippers still sat patiently just in front of her door. You know she never will be there, but it’s a nice thought. And since mom won’t ever going to be there again, you’ll take a nap. Alastor can have fun dealing with half-asleep you once he’s here.

(you’re woken up by the sounds from your kitchen, the smell familiar. as if finally escaping a bad nightmare, you sprang up on your feet and peek in like a child. Alastor stood at the stove, smiling at you. for the first time in years, his smile didn’t reach his eyes.)

7. we’re going to hell together, after all.

Left, right, right, left.

The silent always puts you on edge, as if there’s something out here, biding for it’s time. If only it’s a beast you can take down with a shotgun. You try to recall the forest trail that you know is somewhere out here as shadows of trees covered you from the moon. But you know Alastor, and you know for a fact that if he wanted to, he could herd you out of New Orleans with just a couple of words and a smile. So you uselessly try to focus past the thundering in your ears, you can’t hear a trace of him anymore. So on the count of three…

Throwing yourself to the right, you almost slammed into a tree as a bullet lodge into the trunk of another just right ahead. A soft chuckle rang out from behind, you kept running. Left hand clutching your right wrist, a sob bubbling up from your aching throat, it’s between running like this and letting the hand ram itself into whatever’s there in the forest. Even if you’re blessed with the chance to get out of this alive, you’ll never have use for your right hand ever again. Bones doesn’t heal right when they sit past five days, but you’re not sure you can even hold a pen with a mangled thumb and a pinkie barely hanging on. You lost a bit of your will at that, but the silence of the woods draws you from your thought. You want to die by your own hands.

Right, left, right.

But you know you won’t be able to. The moment you let him take you here, you already lost. Alastor knows the woods better than you. He knows hunting better than you. And you’re sure he knows he can outrun you at any time. You refuse to dwell on the meaning of it and push your left hand against a tree.

Another shot rang out, this time hurling right by your head and nicked the tip of your right ear and went into the night. You don’t know where it goes, but you staggered just a bit and nearly launch yourself forward when a small bush snatches the end of your clothes.

“Sorry honey!” his voice gets further and further away while he stand still and yell out to you with a casual tone, as casual as he can keep it, “Frayed nerves and all~” he laughs, the rest of his words intelligible, and then suddenly, the forest went silent again. You can’t afford to stop and think anything through, so you push on ahead.

When you’re stuck with only the breaking and crushing of leaves under foot and your own winded breaths filling your ears, you cursed. Your throat starch, your lungs burns. With every step you take, your visions blackened around the edge and breathing alone hurts so horribly. It’s a blessing you even lasted for this long, you never have to chase anyone like he did. You wishes you burn that letter instead of dropping it in the bin, you wish you burn that house down instead of living with a ghost you can’t see. You wish you burn him. You know something was off with him that day, Alastor couldn’t shut up to save his life ever since he gets the key to the house. But he didn’t so much as uttered a word to you while staring down at the cutting board, but you didn’t care enough to ask him. Biting back a curse when a stinging pain shot up from your ankle, you feel your head spin as a short and pained chuckle escape your dry lips, he was thinking about how he wants you dead, surely.

Left, left? Right. L-

You can’t help but cry out the moment the bullet sink into your right upper thigh and sent you down. You crashed sideway onto the forest floor and black out for just half a second when a rock dig into your left temple. Clutching at your thigh with a broken hand, your laugh sounds unfamiliar to your own ears, almost choking as it drags nails and spikes through your throat, like that of an animal, like you’re an animal. The loss of oxygen is getting to you, the irony doesn’t escape you.

While your body winds down and the pain and exhaustion settles in, you go into the most horrible aftermath you’ve ever have to endure. Your head pulsating with every beat of your heart and your limbs grew heavy and cold. Vividly, you pick up on leaves breaking and sticks crushed under heavy footstep and you abandoned all sort of dignity to scrambled and try to drag yourself away from him, fingernails dug into dirt and grass to pull your lead like body away. But another clink, another shot hit your lower torso from behind as your choke scream got swallowed up by the earth, left to clutch at your wounds with face buried into the earth and tears streaming from your eyes.

“Oh honey, why so sad?” a heel sit on your bullet wound, dancing in circle before he slowly press his whole weight onto it. Your suffocating wail isn’t enough to amused him, but he still laugh with such gentleness in his tone. “I thought this is what you want? Weren’t you writing to dear old John about leaving? Well, here it is!”

The relief he granted you last for all but half a second before he bring his foot down. Stinging, numbing pain spread through your entire body and you’re left gasping for air while he held your shoulder and set you to face him. Hunching over your shivering body with a hand on your face, he smiles. Or at least you think he is, there’s not a point trying to make out a single thing over the agonizing pain that’s making a home in your body. You wanted so badly to just black out and die right here, you pretty sure you did black out at some point, but Alastor slap your cheek lightly and calls your name with almost a whine to his tone. The warmth from his hand stand out amongst the incomprehensible burning of your flesh and the blood rushing through your head, why are you here again?

“Oh come on, don’t leave me hanging like this. You know I hate it when you ignore me.”

You’re not, you want to scream. If there’s anything you can ever say for him to get off of you and leave you alone, you would. You don’t know if it’s the blood lost or the pain getting to you, but your already waning visions of him blurs beyond recognition while he coos at you.

“I guess it really do hurts that badly?” he laughs, “One question solves then!”

At the mention of it, your blood ran cold and the forest felt just a bit more freezing than it already was. Right, he did say something about John, didn’t he? Almost like it was yesterday, when you’re sitting alone in your room at eleven in the morning. Although barely able to remember the exact wording of every letter, you know by heart the concepts and questions in all the letters you’ve written and rephrased a thousand times and over. But the question wasn’t in that one, it was at least several drafts before it, dropped because it was too presumptuous to ask your first and closest victim such a horribly him question. All of it, sitting neatly in the bin right by your writing desk. All of it, he could’ve read in the hours it took you to wake up.

You want to stick to what’s left of you and die raising your head just a bit higher than when you live by not letting him hear a word out of you, either the fact your throat still hurts so badly just swallowing or the fact you know it’s all but useless talking now that’s keeping you. But from the corner of your eye, you saw his right, red hand gripping tightly onto something that you can’t properly make out, and then you remember the reason you never anticipated any of this occurring within your lifetime.

“Th-the letters…” you groaned, “it’s not-you-“

Right, the reason you were caught off guard by him breaking your fingers while pinning you to his car, the reason you couldn’t even begin to make head from tail when he pressed you for the name of whoever it was that makes you do this. The letters that is, for all its intended purposes, your suicide note.

“Yes, yes,” with a draws to his voice, as if he’s tired of this, “Your lovely letters, to dear old ma and John. We both know I read all about them.”

“No-“ you cough, it’s hurts just to breathe, “I wasn’t going to- tell them-“

“Oh, that. I know.”

For just a moment, you’re void of anything. All the pain and the blistering heat and the cold night air leave your body for just a second and left you with nothing at his words. You’re aware of his every movement, even through the darkness of the night. Suddenly, everything is too much, too loud.

“I thought you’re smarter than this, love.” you can’t see him properly at all, but you can’t see him smiling and it scares you, “It never was just about the letters.”

“Then what-“

Shushing you, he leans down until your forehead nearly touched, you try to focus and find his eyes at this awkward angle but it only worsen the unbearable pounding in your head.

“This, is what you want,” he pauses, you can see the outline of his jaw shifting, like rolling words on his tongue. You want to call him a madman, but you don’t even know if this is him anymore. This isn’t the Alastor you know for years. He would’ve never talk to you without that stupid accent that’s everywhere on the radio. The Alastor you know doesn’t need to considers his words talking to anyone, always with an excuse on his sleeve. And that Alastor would never gotten so close, wouldn’t have sounded so personal. “You said you want to leave. To get to that ‘freedom’, right?”

He sounded so hurt, as if it’s him that’s being crushed under weight with bullets in him and two broken fingers, as if it’s not you writhing on the forest floor, as if he’s the one dying tonight.

“You can’t bear to live anymore, right? You can’t do this with me anymore, can you?” you’re painstakingly reminded of the fact he still have his right hand on you, casually moving it down to your neck while he raises his left. You aren’t sure why, but you still try to claw at the hand clasping gently around you. You think this happened before, but you weren’t sure where the idea came from, the loss of oxygen getting to you quicker than you thought it would. Somewhere in the back of your mind, your fingers, two broken and eight dirtied with dirt and your own blood, it lost the red that have been clinging onto you like a disease.

“Al-“ in that moment, your vision suddenly cleared, like a last-ditch attempt at life. The grip he have around you is like that of a snake, too. Coiling gently and kindly, with a thumb digging into your skin while the inners of your ears felt like bursting open.

“It’s alright, mon Chéri, I’ll help you. I always have, haven’t I?” he always have been helping you, but that was Alastor, your friend and the demon on your shoulder. Not the man that’s staring down at you with such a look and speaking to you with such tenderness and love you can’t begin to dissect.

Desperately, you stare up at the image of an unfamiliar man with voices you’ve never heard before. He smiles a smile so painful, as if losing his mind too, but you can’t tell who he is anymore. Your mom was right, John was right, you’re right, but none of it matters when you’re running out of breath and the rock in his left hand fits so well into his palm.

“I’ll come see you when I’m down there, wait for me.”

Your vision bloomed and blurred away. You stay awake for long enough to hear the first crack of skull, reverberating through your eardrums. You’d stay awake for the second hit, and the third. And you stay awake for just long enough to grow envy of John for never having to faced you that night.

(the hound leaps, sharp fangs breaking tough skin and tearing veins, the vulture, without a mind to think of god, only knows how to cries out.)

#alastor #x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel oneshots

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