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toxoiddiamond · 4 years

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T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Joel Porter Nycroft Nicknames: No nicknames, but he goes by the name Joel Winters professionally. Age: 40 Birthday: May 25th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Liverpool, England Current Location: He is constantly touring, but he has two homes– one just outside of London, and one in LA. His London-ish (as he calls it) home is where he spends his time off, and his LA home (which is a condo) is where he lives while the band works on recording new albums, since that is where their current label is based. Speaks: English and French (not fluently, but decently well). Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Education: High school dropout, never bothered to get his GED or anything since he never really needed to. No college education, obviously. He is very smart though, and reasonably well-educated. Occupation: Lead singer and guitarist of internationally famous band No Rest for the Londoners, often shortened to simply The Londoners. Vehicle: It’s been a very long time since he’s had to drive himself anywhere– and that’s probably for the best, given the fact that he is under the influence more often than not. He has drivers that take him anywhere he needs to go, or, if the place is within walking distance, he’ll just walk over. Worldly Possessions: Though he’s quite wealthy, he doesn’t live too ostentatiously. He does tend to buy expensive/high quality things that will last him a long time, especially if it’s an instrument or anything to do with music, but he doesn’t spend excessively. He has some artwork on his walls that he splurged on, a shelf for his various awards (which he keeps hidden in a closet in his home studio because he feels weird having them out on display for all to see), nice (but not ridiculously expensive) clothes and bedding and such, furniture he had custom made by a local carpenter, etc. Then he has all his instruments and music equipment, which make up the majority of his possessions. Pet(s): He can barely take care of himself, so he has never even considered owning a pet, but he does like animals a lot. In the future, once he has his shit together, he would be totally open to having pets.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6’0” Hair: Dark with a few flecks of grey. Long-ish and usually a bit of a mess unless he’s going somewhere fancy, in which case he will slick it back. Facial Hair: He usually keeps his beard quite full. He trims it now and then, but it’s rare for him to actually shave it all off. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: He doesn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, so he’s pasty. Clothing: For the most part, he looks pulled together– jeans and t-shirts, the occasional cardigan, peacoats in colder weather, classic black suits when he attends special events. He doesn’t exactly dress like a “rock star” and has never cared to try and be edgy or fit a certain persona. Distinguishing Marks: Faded track marks on both his arms from his past heroin abuse– he makes no effort to hide or cover them, since he figures everyone knows about his drug problem anyway. Face Claim: Jim Sturgess

H E A L T H Physical Health: It could be better. What with the fact that he’s constantly high or drunk (or both), his health is not great. He is constantly exhausted, often feels sick, has a weak immune system, and is pretty much just a mess. There’s been more than one occasion throughout his career when he’s passed out from sheer exhaustion, or had to reschedule shows due to illness (though he considers that a last resort). Physical Abilities/Limitations: Joel is an extremely talented musician. On top of the fact that he has a lovely singing voice, he can play guitar, piano, drums, and bass. He can’t read music at all, but has a knack for playing by ear, which drives the rest of his band absolutely nuts because anytime they try to ask Joel what key he’s singing/playing in, he just shrugs. Addictions: It would be faster to list the things he’s not addicted to. But mainly, he’s addicted to alcohol and cocaine. He used to have a serious heroin addiction, but hasn’t touched heroin since his late twenties. He also abuses Xanax, though he doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing– he figures that since his doctor prescribed it, it’s fine to use it on a regular basis, but it’s really doing more harm than good. Allergies: None Mental Health: Terrible. Like, catastrophically bad. Joel is pretty much always on the verge of a mental breakdown– he has had several over the past few years, but has not gotten the help he so desperately needs in order to get his mental health back in order. He has gone to rehab many times, but wasn’t really given much help in the mental health department; he was just told he needed to relax and that once he was off the drugs he would feel much better. Turned out that wasn’t true, so he has always gone back to the drugs after leaving rehab. He is constantly considering suicide, and has attempted it twice; once when he was fourteen, and once when he was thirty-two. The second attempt was passed off as an accidental drug overdose to the media, though it was not accidental at all.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Joel was born and raised in Liverpool. His father left when he was just a baby, so Joel never knew him. Unfortunately, his mother was neglectful and uncaring– she was addicted to drugs and ran with a bad crowd, and her only real concern was where her next fix would come from. Joel was often left with neighbors or other family members for long periods of time before his mother would remember to come and get him. More than once, authorities were alerted to the fact that Joel’s mother was not taking care of him, but nothing ever really came of it. From an early age, Joel was interested in music, and began teaching himself to play guitar when he was ten years old. He always had a knack for playing by ear, so he never bothered to learn to read music. He spent a lot of time in a local music shop playing around with various instruments, and the staff let him hang around since he didn’t bother anyone and they kind of felt sorry for him. It was there that Joel taught himself to play both piano and bass. At the age of 14, Joel was pressured by some of his mom’s friends into getting high with them. Although Joel didn’t want to, he was made to feel that saying no wasn’t an option, so he did heroin with them. He doesn’t remember much of what happened that night– just that he went with them somewhere, Joel was absolutely scared out of his mind, and then he woke up the next morning on a park bench. From then on, Joel began to get high regularly, and did favors for his mom’s “friends,” mostly running drugs and bringing back money. It was around this time that he attempted suicide by purposely overdosing, but he woke up the next morning– still in his bedroom, intensely sick and much worse for wear, but alive. Joel dropped out of high school at 16– he would have failed his classes anyway since he’d been skipping school so much and his grades had plummeted. At 17, his friend Michael invited him to London– Michael was moving there and saw an opportunity to get Joel away from all the bad influences in his life. They moved in with Michael’s aunt for a while, and Joel took a job in a record shop to save up money. Eventually they struck out on their own and decided to put a band together, something they had talked about for years. After finding the perfect band members (something they still insist was fate), they began writing songs and recorded an EP in Joel and Michael’s basement. After playing a few local shows, word of mouth begin to spread, and before they knew it, they were approached by a manager offering them a contract with a major label. They took the deal, and the rest is history. Job History: His first “job” was as an errand boy for a shady group of drug dealers. He then worked in a record store for almost three years, and during that time, helped form the band and started playing the occasional show. Obviously that worked out because he is a very famous, successful musician now. Fondest Memories: His first rock concert when he was ten years old. Running away from Liverpool– he’ll never forget the feeling of freedom as they drove past the city limits. Performing in small venues and getting such an unexpectedly good response. And, of course, the first time they ever performed in a sold-out arena; the first time he heard the audience singing his own lyrics back at him, Joel almost cried. Worst Experiences: The majority of his childhood. And… a lot of his adulthood, actually.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Though Joel can be very charming, he’s not exactly smooth. He’s kind of a dork, and most of his charm comes from the fact that people find it endearing how weird and awkward he can be. Depending on whatever drugs are in his system, he can either talk a mile a minute, or he might speak slowly, possibly slurring his words (though the slurring isn’t always noticeable with his accent). Accent: Very, very English with a distinctive Scouse accent. When he speaks, there is absolutely no doubt about where he’s from. Favorite Phrases or Words: He uses a lot of typical Scouse slang, such as “made up” for “happy,” or “cob on” for “bad mood.” His bandmates tease him about his weird accent/dialect all the time, though it’s all in good fun, of course. Usual Curse Words: Fuck, and any of its derivatives.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-T Sense of Humor: Joel is charismatic and funny– he loves to make people laugh and can be quite a goofball when the mood strikes him. He often uses humor as a way to deflect or distract from his issues, so a lot of people who don’t know him well are surprised to find out that he’s as depressed as he is. When it comes to entertaining people, he will do just about anything to get a laugh, as long as it’s not offensive in some way– self-deprecating humor is his go-to, though. Habits: He tends to fidget a lot– wringing his hands, scratching at his arms, bouncing his leg when he’s sitting, especially during interviews or before a performance. Fears/Phobias: His biggest fear is ending up alone. He doesn’t even like being alone in his house, so the idea of being abandoned or rejected by the people he cares about is what really scares him. Loneliness is his worst enemy, and honestly, anytime when Joel is left alone with his own thoughts is just not going to end well. Strengths: Joel is a creative, kind, and thoughtful person who genuinely likes being around others and getting to know them. He loves doing nice things for people, making people laugh, and is charismatic as hell. People seem to naturally flock to him and enjoy his company– he’s kind of the life of the party. Joel always does his best to be kind to his fans as well, especially kids, and would never deny anyone a picture or autograph, even if he secretly would rather be doing anything else. Flaws: As lovely as Joel can be, when he’s deep under the influence of drugs, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Selfish, combative, and a chronic liar. When he starts spiralling into depression, it’s impossible for him to pull himself out of that tailspin, and that is how he’s ended up in this vicious cycle of getting depressed, doing drugs, getting more depressed, drinking the pain away, getting even more depressed, etc, etc. Hopes/Desires: He really, really wants to get clean and sober, but doesn’t know if it’s really possible for him. He hates that he’s so reliant on drugs and alcohol to even get through the day, but he’s felt so awful and depressed (more than usual) every time he’s gotten clean that he doesn’t see how he can live like that. Self-Esteem: It could not possibly be any lower. Joel considers himself to be a burden on everyone he knows and pretty much thinks he’s a waste of space. It would only take the tiniest nudge for him to attempt suicide (again). Religion: He doesn’t believe in any kind of god or higher power. In fact, he really hopes there isn’t any such thing, because he’s pretty sure that if there is a god or any kind of afterlife, he won’t end up going anywhere pleasant when he dies.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up in a ball on his side. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: He doesn’t have a preference– it really just depends on whether he has something to do or not. Top or Bottom?: He can go either way. Partying or Relaxing?: Usually partying, unless he has someone to relax with.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: He is close to all of his bandmates: Michael (Joe Anderson), Dawn (Sofia Boutella), Holly (Devon Aoki), and their newest/youngest bandmate who replaced their former rhythm guitarist, Ryan (Justin Nozuka). Out of all of them, he is definitely closest with Michael since they grew up together. Relationship History: Not a lot of long-term relationships. He briefly dated Dawn back when they first met, before the band blew up, but they quickly decided they weren’t compatible. He has dated around a bit, some men and some women, mostly people who are also in the public eye (actors, models, musicians, etc), but none of those relationships lasted longer than a few months. Sexual Partners: A lot. He was definitely promiscuous when he was younger, lots of flings and one-night stands. As he got older, he lost interest in having a new partner every night and started getting into more actual relationships, though none of them lasted longer than a year. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He especially enjoys it when his partner doesn’t leave immediately afterward. Joel really likes to cuddle after sex, so it’s always disappointing to him when it turns out his partner isn’t interested in cuddling.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Donna Nycroft Age(s): She died at the age of 57 Social Standing: Not good. She was widely known to be an addict, and ran with a shady crowd to help fuel her addiction. Occupation(s): Drug dealer, occasionally traded sex for drugs or money, occasionally took part-time jobs if she was really desperate, though she could never hold down a legitimate job for very long. Religion: Nope. Quality of Relationship With His Children: Horrible. She never cared much for Joel, and only kept him because she got child support money from his father every month. She paid as little attention to him as possible and didn’t care at all what he did or where he went. When he first got famous, she tried to sell her “story” to a bunch of tabloids and started trashing him in the media, but the drama died down quickly because Joel refused to address anything she said and pretended he didn’t know who she was. Joel was honestly not sad at all when he got the news about her death. He pretty much said “oh… okay” and moved on immediately. Living/Deceased: Dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Joel has two homes– one moderately large home on the outskirts of London, and a condo in LA. His London home is a bit secluded and private, and is where he likes to go during his off times, as he can escape the press for the most part. His band mates will often come and stay with him as well, partly because they don’t want him to be alone, and partly because they all have a great time together, especially when there’s not the pressure of recording or a tour. His LA home is where he lives while they work on recording, since their label is based in LA. The house in London is fairly large, but not a mansion by any means– it has four bedrooms, one of which Joel has converted into a music studio where he can practice, write songs, mess around with instruments, etc. Two bedrooms are currently guest rooms, and then there is the master bedroom, of course. The place is decorated with custom furniture Joel had designed and made by a local carpenter, and it is all very nice-looking and comfortable. His condo is decorated in a very minimalist, functional way, which suits Joel just fine. Lots of open space and windows, furniture with clean, modern lines, a few splashes of color here and there, and not much else.

#character: joel nycroft #ship: joley #character sheet

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undignifiend · 4 years

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Trollhunters Fanfic AU idea: Heartstone Sun

A stupidly long ramble about themes I’m obsessed with. Warnings: mentions of people getting eaten, other horror elements, redemption speculation, and pontificating about hatred, dehumanizing propaganda, and the cycle of abuse (and an idea of how to break those three things). I’d love to write this if I can figure out how to do it justice, but that may take a while. Criticism is welcome; I can’t hone an idea to proper sharpness if I don’t see its dull spots.

What if the sun is actually a Heartstone - like The Great Gramma of all Heartstones (in this solar system, at least)? And was placed under an enchantment/curse by a prehistoric human coven that Had Enough because trolls outclassed humans in pretty much every arena, and people were getting eaten with impunity by extremely durable apex predators that laughed at their sticks and slings and fire? It's not like trolls really needed to eat humans - these mofos were powered by the sun (and could probably do crazy magic with all that excess power, to boot) - they just like how we taste.

Though perhaps humans also have a knack for passively absorbing Hearstone energies, and that's what they used to essentially poison the Heartstone against Trollkind? And that same passive absorption is why humans make good supplements for trolls who don't have a Heartstone to rely on, as shown in the comics? Since trolls couldn't gain Heartstone energy directly from the sun during the night, if they were injured and/or had a hankering, they'd have to eat creatures that still could. So maybe trolls tended to mostly eat people at night back then when they needed a quick boost because they couldn't get sunlight? And perhaps this contributed toward a more intense, visceral fear of the dark in humanity's evolution - like our common fear of the dark, but on steroids?

Gunmar's comment about "They try to make the night brighter. They fear the darkness," not only speaks to real human fears of the dark, but a mentality that was essentially beaten into Pleistocene-Era humans by impossibly strong and scary opponents (though I love the idea of some troll groups teaming up with humans and having various mutually-beneficial symbiotic shenanigans).

You could see all manner of behavioral, instinctive differences in these humans based on that. From a death-like, numbing paralysis intended to spare them the agony of their last moments, to an overwhelming itch to hide when it grows dark, to a need to sleep in groups for protection, etc... I imagine most beds in most cultures would be in hidden places within a house. Some cultures might even develop "false bedrooms" as traditional parts of their home to trick trolls or evil spirits that are more inclined to hunt with stealth.

This is partly inspired from a weird experience I had one night where I got this sudden, intense fear, and I've never experienced it since, and I still can't figure out what caused it. But some part of me felt a hostile presence in the woods by the house, and I knew it was far too powerful to fight, and I had the overwhelming urge to shut off all the lights, quiet everything that was making noise, and huddle in a closet until whatever it was passed. "Don't let it know you're here," kept playing in my head. I imagine being a human in this AU, especially in the Bad Old Days, would feel a lot like that.

After the Sun Curse (but before humanity regards trolls as myth), I imagine a common survival rule would be: Travel by day (when trolls can't, or at least have a harder time of it), and hide by night (so you don't run into them; if they find you, make them work for it, don't give yourself away).

Humans in this AU love to fancy themselves apex predators not simply as a power trip, but a denial of their true position in the food chain as prey. They can lie to themselves all they like, but their instincts remember and know better.

So to give humanity a fighting chance, this prehistoric coven developed a powerful spell to make the sun toxic to trolls, which would allow humans safety under the sun, which until then, had been a main source of power and sustenance for trollkind.

As an unforeseen catastrophe of apocalyptic proportions, much of trollkind's lore at the time was lost as they scrambled to deal with this development. Their cultures had to adapt, and new lore and methods of dealing with this catastrophe overtook lost histories (mostly verbal at the time). There was very little evidence left of how the sun was cursed, or that humans were behind it - the coven responsible did their utmost to destroy any sign or record of what they did, knowing that such information would rally trollkind against humankind. And even if trolls were weakened without their most sacred life source, they were still a dangerous enough threat that, if they could cooperate with each other, they'd surely wipe humanity out.

They almost succeeded in destroying all knowledge of it, but a certain tribe connected to a certain Heartstone found out, and their resulting fury at this act of desecration gave rise to Gunmar the Black.

This curse would be a deep source of anger and resentment at humanity for having stolen not only trollkind's ability to roam freely on their own world (which they were the dominant species on), but for poisoning a vital and sacred life-source. This is what Gunmar would be talking about when he talks about 'taking back the surface lands'. It's not just propaganda to him, it's his peoples' birthright, and it was stolen from them, and he emerged to set it right. This coven may have acted out of self-defense, but what they did was an unforgivable act of desecration. Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms would still see it that way, but over time, as humanity loses their knowledge of trolls and turns their attentions toward each other, the rest of trollkind moves on and adapts and forgets their hatred, or their history of having once owned the world. The Gumm-Gumms are still angry about an ancient injustice, and the rest of trollkind, now believing themselves to have always lived underground, sees this 'take back the surface lands' talk as warmongering propaganda against a group that is seen as relatively ridiculous and tasty, but now off-limits depending on who follows the Pact.

While on that note, I imagine Gunmar would find the Pact outrageous and absurd. Humanity has no end to hold up in return, it's basically a heavy restriction on trolls who have already had so much taken from them. It's adding insult to injury, and that any troll would agree to it galls him to no end.

Before the curse, trolls ate fleshlings because we taste good and are satisfying sources of indirect Heartstone energy. Now, Gumm-Gumms also eat humans as an act of rebellion and punishment for what their ancestors did.

CHARACTER PROFILES:

JIM

I love Jim. But I think I'm going to handle him a bit differently in this AU than how he is in canon because I see an opportunity to say something important and relevant to a possible theme of this AU, and I'm not sure canon Jim would really be up for that.

I love the warm, nurturing, gentle side of Jim, and how he likes taking care of his friends. I love how he loves cooking for them, which is the quintessential nurturing act. I love how protective he is of his friends and his mom, and how even though he has made mistakes, he makes those mistakes with protective intentions. His heart's in the right place. This is the side of Jim who looks at Rule #2: Always Finish the Fight, and says "No," and spares Draal's life, and takes care of Chompsky instead of 'taking care of him', and risks precious time to go back for Nomura. This is the Jim I love, and the side of him I want to focus on in this AU.

And that side of him (it seems to me) clashes rather loudly with the other side of him that refuses to apply Rule #1 to Strickler in favor of rebellious mouthing-off, and treats the deaths of his enemies with sassy quips.

With regards to my attitude about that last part, I blame Faramir from Lord of the Rings. His brief monologue about 'the enemy' was formative for me. He fought to protect his people, and in doing so, he had to kill other people. And he didn’t hide from that fact. He had the strength and honesty to both do what he had to do, and to acknowledge that tragedy. He didn't try to diminish their deaths, and I cannot stress enough how important that is to me to see in a protagonist. So in this idea, Jim can be sassy in some cases, and he will kill if he believes he has to, but #2 is a last resort, and when it comes to that, he won't lie to himself or diminish what has happened.

Seeing someone as an obstacle or problem is a crucial step in making it easy to hurt or kill them, and it's one of the goals of particularly dangerous forms of propaganda: dehumanize the enemy. It's a perspective shift that makes fighting easier, but I believe it's one of the very worst lies we can ever tell ourselves or each other.

Acknowledging someone as a person, and not an obstacle or a problem, is (potentially) a powerful way to break the perception that you yourself are an obstacle or problem. If you want a chance to see someone’s relatability/"humanity", you first have to show yours. And they won’t always see it, and even if they do, they won’t always care – you might be hurt or killed anyway. But I think this re-framing is a crucial step in non-violent conflict resolution (in particularly intense cases). It’s risky as hell, so it’s not very popular, but when successful, it broadens perspectives and opens new paths in their minds. And I think that's a powerful and worthy theme; one that Jim could champion. A better way to Finish The Fight.

GUNMAR

In this AU, Gunmar has plans that stretch far beyond the Eternal Night (which, in this AU, would instead be a cure for the curse). From his perspective, he's trying to piece the world back together after several Apocalyptic-Grade Disasters. He's bitter and stressed, but he has stayed tenacious and ambitious despite millennia of warfare, failure, and being forgotten by the vast majority of the world while trapped in the Darklands. He's trying to lead his people out of a bad situation and restore their birthright, and he's annoyed and angry with the significant number of trolls who accept the current status quo when they could have so much more.

Because Gunmar emerged from a corrupted Heartstone and doesn't seem to have parents (perhaps no tribe/clan/colony? I love the extra-spooky supernatural vibe it grants him) I like the idea of him wanting his own tribe. He had a son whom he seemed to care for, and their regard for each other was the one and only thing in canon (in my mind) that elevated Gunmar. I'd like to capitalize on that in this AU. Gunmar was born tribeless, as a symbol of trollkind's general animosity toward humanity, but he obviously doesn't want to stay tribeless. He wants to establish his own line; he wants to create a future for his descendants to thrive in. His ultimate goal isn't so much about putting humans in their place as it is about giving his own people the prosperous future he thinks they deserve. To those who follow him, he's not their tyrant; he's their hero. His aggression is largely directed at humanity, but his goals are NOT human-centric after all.

Gunmar’s backstory (in canon) fascinates me. He was born from a Heartstone that had been transformed by the trollish population’s animosity toward humankind. I think this was supposed to reflect the classic Evil Corruption you see in a lot of fantasy, and leans on a kind of Victorian notion of "bad breeding" and the idea that because he emerged from evil conditions, he is evil by nature. But I think it’s more interesting to look at it as a wound, because that gives his anger a sharper sense of purpose that I think it otherwise lacks. Gunmar manifested from a rift between two populations, and has used the hatred that formed that wound to try and heal it – by taking the surface world and devouring the impudent humans who stole it. The method of devouring them didn’t simply develop because we taste good – it’s also a punishment, born of that same hatred, that says: “You thought you were better, but you are lesser. You wanted a vaunted place for yourself at great cost to us, but your true place is as nothing more than our food. This is what you deserve for trying to shut me and my kind out of our own world, and poisoning something sacred against us.” (referencing the curse on the Heartstone Sun, not the Killahead Banishment, which would come much later).

That may seem to him like a perfectly reasonable way to fix what he sees himself as (both literally and symbolically) born to fix. But even if all his dreams were to come true, that hatred would persist throughout the myriad abuses he would inflict upon humanity (if he’d bother to keep us around as livestock and/or slaves), and long outlast the last of the human population. It would linger, it would continue to fester, and it would be poised to be unleashed upon whatever other sufficiently threatening group crosses trollkind next. After all, that method ‘worked’ on humanity.

But you don’t quench hatred or fix abuse by indulging it. You fix it by learning (and accepting) the truth: no one is a mere obstacle, object, problem, or hated symbol. You did not deserve the abuses you suffered, but re-creating them and re-living them will not put you in control of them or absolve you in any way. (Though the temporary illusion of control may become addictive, it will remain fleeting and false). Abuse, if you let it define you, begets abuse. If Gunmar had achieved all his goals, sooner or later, he’d see his own reflection in a human born of the horrors he inflicted, and of the hatred humanity would have for him and his kind. This human would not see trollkind as anything other than a problem that they were born to solve, just as Gunmar sees humankind. But this would not surprise him at all, because that’s how Gunmar already thinks humans see trollkind. It’s easy to hate someone if you think they hate you. And it would not matter who would win that conflict, because the hatred and abuse would survive to be re-created and re-lived and inflicted on whoever the winner meets next. Nothing would be learned, and no one would heal.

I don’t know what would show Gunmar the truth, much less in a way that would matter to him. But in keeping with Jim's best tendencies in avoiding Rule #2, I think it's necessary for Jim to make the attempt in this AU. Whether or not this would result in Gunmar getting a redemption arc doesn't exactly matter - this is really about Jim's efforts to be the best guardian he can be for two interlinked worlds with a lot of bad blood between them, and I want to do those efforts justice. I don't currently know how, but I have some idea of where to start.

I think two key parts of non-violent conflict resolution are convincing the other party that 1) you care about the same thing they do, and 2) you either can make it easier to achieve, you see a better path to achieving it, or you may be able to improve the final outcome beyond what they originally thought or hoped was possible.

In this case, the goal for both sides is to heal that ancient wound between trollkind and humankind. It’s the plan that everybody disagrees about. Protagonists and antagonists (often, but not always) both ultimately want the same thing – they just disagree about what that’s supposed to look like, or how to achieve it.

Currently, I think that to truly heal, trolls and humans have to come to terms with each other. This is no small undertaking - it would change the world irrevocably - and might never be fully achieved, even after centuries of dedicated work on both sides. A healthy relationship (regardless of it’s nature) isn’t something you achieve and consider Done; it’s dynamic, it’s lived, it requires constant attention and respect, and the acknowledgment that it may change irrevocably as life throws its weird curve-balls. Most of all, it requires a dedicated effort to understand the other person. The surest way to kill a positive relationship is to allow oneself, during times of hardship, to slip into the mindset of seeing that person as an obstacle, problem, or symbol, rather than continue the effort of trying to understand them or why they’re acting difficult. And that’s just taking failing positive relationships into account. Consider all the hardship that comes from starting from a mindset of seeing people as obstacles or problems, and you could see hate-crimes between the populations. Now consider how many trolls and humans may interact with each other as they try to move forward together, and you can get some idea of how easily everything can fall apart, back into the same attitudes that led to the same wound that Gunmar manifested from.

And that’s not even touching on how trolls would have to watch their strength and their tempers around delicate little humans (even the ornery ones), and how humans would have to put a certain amount of trust, patience, and good faith in a group that was, in the past, known for eating them (and that still thinks they taste delicious). It will be easier for some than for others, but for those others, it may feel impossible.

I’m not saying it can’t be done. I believe it’s necessary and worthwhile. But I also believe it’s important to not downplay how difficult it would be. It would be stressful, it would come with times of crisis and doubt, and some might give up entirely, and it would be up to the rest to persevere despite the inevitable tragic incidents; to be brave, and not take such incidents as proof that peace is impossible. “Fear (if you don’t let it rule you) is but the precursor to valor.”

There would be hate-crimes (committed by both sides) between the groups. And there would be heroes (from both sides) rushing in to stop them. And there would also be vigils, gatherings of both humans and trolls, in honor of the victims who couldn’t be saved in time, and in solidarity, in honor of the peace they’re working for together. And I think, in that act of mourning and solidarity, therein lies their victory.

Love and grief are some of the most powerful, relatable (rather than ‘humanizing’ which is an embarrassingly ironic and limited word, especially in this context) emotions out there. And I think it’s that relatability that has the power to reveal people as more than obstacles or problems.

I doubt witnessing it would cause every Gumm-Gumm to reconsider their stance on humanity, much less Gunmar himself, but it could be a little step toward a better path; a seed of doubt – a check to keep them honest when they try to tell themselves tales of what humans and troll ‘traitors’ want, or deserve.

Another thing I imagine might challenge Gunmar’s perceptions has to do with the Decimaar blade. At first, I wasn’t sure what it’s supposed to symbolize in the show other than as an explanation for why anyone would follow someone so careless with their lives. It would also explain why no one assassinated him while he was weakened and starving in the Darklands. (Curiously, no one else seemed to be starving, and I’m not sure what to make of that. I think I missed something important.)

At first, I thought the Decimaar blade symbolized the ultimate hatred/abuse: it enslaves, it wipes out its victims' identities; it turns people into objects to be used by their master, and obstacles to be rid of by their enemies. There’s no loyalty involved, no sacrifice – nothing of meaning that is gained from willing service is preserved. It is simply the use of others – abuse made manifest. In that, I saw the Decimaar blade as an extension of Gunmar himself; a symptom of the conditions of his birth. The cruel irony here was that he had the power to turn his own people into the exact, flat, threatening (obstacles/problems) monsters humanity expected them to be. So from this, Gunmar wasn’t just born from trollkind’s hatred, but humanity’s, too. And just like with abuse un-dealt with, un-treated, he perpetuates it.

And then I learned that the Decimaar blade was won from Orlagk, so there goes that idea. Or at least the part of it being a part of Gunmar. But somehow now, I feel that helps it fit even better; I don’t currently think the Cycle of Abuse starts with Nature (in the whole Nurture vs Nature argument). I currently think abuse (in all it’s myriad forms, intentional or not) is inherited. Gunmar may have emerged from hateful conditions, and he may have inherited a direct metaphor for coercive abuse, and he may pass it on, but it’s not truly a part of him. Therein lies a little glimmer of hope that he might eventually see it for what it is - what it's doing to him and his people (who he was born to protect and provide for as a leader) - and reject Decimaar not only as a weapon, but as a way of thinking.

I'm a sucker for redemption arcs. I'm not sure I can give Gunmar one, or if I should even try. But I think in this, Jim has to make the effort to try to understand Gunmar and what he wants, and to convince him that there is a better way. Whether this version of Gunmar (eventually - I imagine it wouldn't come easy if it happens at all) takes him up on it or not, I don't know.

IF I go for it, though, I want to do it justice. Redemption is not about forgiveness or acquittal. Redemption is about climbing, no matter how far you’ve fallen, and even if you can never reach the top, you can still try to give others a boost along the way. Redemption (just like a relationship) isn’t achieved; it’s lived. And it doesn't necessarily mean joining the Good Guys. You won't see Gunmar Reformed agonizing about all the blood (human and trollish) he has spilled, or asking "Haven't I redeemed myself?" Gunmar Reformed (at least the way I'd hope to write him) may still have a great deal of contempt for humans in general, but he has learned enough about them that he can no longer see them in simplistic terms. He may privately think on What Could Have Been had he changed his perspective sooner, but he doesn't have the time or patience to dwell on regrets - the world is still hecked up, and he still has work to do (although the nature of that work has changed dramatically). I imagine if Gunmar changes his plans, he'll chase his new objectives his own way. The Trollhunters might have occasional, tenuous, scary, and unpredictable alliances with him when their goals align, but it might be a stretch to call them allies - a lot has happened, both sides are still angry with each other, but they've come to an understanding and have a degree of mutual respect, and can demonstrate enough good faith in one another to surprise each other. Gunmar will still have all his old ferocity, he'll just be channeling it in a new direction.

#Trollhunters fanfic AU idea #Heartstone Sun #theme talk

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bitegore · 5 years

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🖊

Hrbfhdb ok im gonna ramble about Rex bc hes my boy and i love him

Rex is Terrible

Rex's Life is Terrible.

Everything about him is Terrible. This is because he is a self insert and also the Allotted Bad Things character for his universe and therefore just gets.... every bad thing ever to happen to him

So! Content warnings for abuse (both physical and sexual), bodily harm, torture, betrayal, nonconsensual body modification, abuse of chemical substances like alcohol, theres Probably More but I Don't Even Remember What To Warn For its just Terrible

[[MORE]]

(i always need an allotted bad things character but Rex is one of the rare not-main-character one and it's wild bc he has this intense fuckin backstory and it's all just. Off to the side. Barely ever comes into play in the main story.)

So the first thing, a little backstory for convenience's sake- Closerverse dragons contain a certain element of what i like to call fairy tale gone wrong in the form of the Blood Curse- it was meant to be something like 'if you, a dragon, eat human flesh, you'll need the true love of a human to transform you back or else you'll die' but instead in effect turned into 'if you, a dragon, eat human flesh, a human has to willingly have sex with you or else you lose control of your body and go on a murderous rampage until you starve to death or are killed'

(i had a dream where that part was invented. Magic based fuck or die isn't my usual bread and butter lol)

Then i got up and was like 'hm. I feel like this could be used very much in a bad way' and the concept of using the blood curse to control prisoners was born! Aka "force feed your prisoners human flesh and then rape them on a semi regular basis because you'll get killed if you show up to literally anywhere on the globe with the curse and also having no physical control over your body is terrible so instead just deal with this"

in general, the dealing with is done badly. That's fine bc usually the dragons who don't run away get killed at some point Too. Its just Terrible TM

Also, dragons are hated in this world for religious reasons (which is part of why the curse was created, honestly) which makes this More Difficult Than It Might Have Been but for the most part humanity is not opposed to this kind of thing

Now how does this relate to Rex? 🤔

Rex is born royalty in a small but politically important dragon-run city (the only one of its kind in this part of the globe). He's hatched child eleven of twelve total potential heirs, with a seven year gap between him and the last one. That's fine. He's a little ignored as a kid and manages to die for the first time at age 2 due to accidentally falling off a building but no one notices lol but ultimately he's fine.

Then he turns nine and shortly after that nearly his whole family (with the exception of three siblings, all of whom were out) are murdered by an invading human army right before his innocent little nine year old eyes. He also gets skewered through the chest and dies for the third time but forgets this fact due to ~trauma related memory issues~

He and his siblings wind up running off with one of the family friends who survived the invasion and kind of wander around in the forests in the traditions of the family friend's dragon clan (admittedly it is a tradition of most dragon clans but they take on her clan's name and suchlike)

Then, Rex grows up a bit. He gets four relatively not terrible years and then he's like 13 and gets to suffer again! He pulls a stupid (please honey. Follow the rules when they are life and death rules. You regret not doing that.) and gets dragged into one of the dragon work camps being forced to do various unpleasant tasks, like building guns. It turns out he's very good at that.

Then they burn him mostly to death and he crawls off into the woods and dies again, but, because the People Who Keep Him Alive aren't really sure where the hell his clan is, they kind of stick around long enough for him to go 'hey look at that. Thats a whole magician who just raised me from the dead. Wack' and then he goes home...

...and the clan leader immediately chews him out for running away and being irresponsible and makes him go around apologising for leaving and honestly he doesn't really protest much because He Does Not Want to Explain at All but like ... he internalizes all that shit! And feels very bad! (Oof!)

Then some outclan magician shows up and he and rex make friends (good bc by this point rex has Zero People he will Tolerate) except then the magician magically brainwashes him, convinces rex to run away with him, and sells him into slavery because he's relatively pretty and young dragon slaves are valuable (very bad)

rex mauls a whole bunch of people (good) but keeps going back to that magician because he's brainwashed (bad!) until the magician gets fed up and tortures the shit out of him until rex physically tears his hands off (sort of not quite but they get Very Damaged) and crawls out and then dies and gets resurrected by the good magicians.

Then Rex immediately goes to the Very Bad Crime Lord Magician named Lord Deiya who is in charge of like everything on this continent and has ridiculous power and is like 'please let me kill the magician who brainwashed me' and Deiya (who said magician works for!) literally goes 'ok but idk where he is I'll let you know when I find him', proceeds to get rex to work for them for free, and doesn't give Rex the magician to kill lmao

Then some other shit happens, culminating in a couple years so intense he literally goes 'fuck this im going home' and goes back to the forest to rejoin the clan (which he hasn't seen since he was 15 and is now like 21 so it's been....a While)

However he refuses to do literally Anything Productive At All and just spends most of his time being mysterious and doing random shit while drinking heavily

That's Rex.

I love Rex

#rex #heres hoping ghe cut works #red replies #oc

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nullclass · 6 years

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Hey! I’m a huuuge RepCom fan and in the middle of re-reading the books (for the thousandth time), and also not the hugest Kal fan - I’m curious about one of your HC posts where you mention that Ordo becomes estranged from Kal and effectively divorced from Besany, how do you see this happening and why? It’s been haunting me for days!

In reference to this headcanon post. This is a really long one. The short of it is:

Kal, it happens over Kal’s decision to destroy the cure. It estranges all of the Nulls, including ultimately Ordo, because it puts on very clear display just how harmful Kal’s self-centeredness and disregard for the choices of others is. It forces Ordo to take another look at his entire relationship with Kal, and he finds it wanting. He doesn’t come back.

Besany, it’s a long process, one that happens as she and Ordo struggle with the very way they’ve approached the relationship. It gets burdened with misplaced idealism, the idea that the only normal life Ordo will have is connected to this relationship, the controlling environment in which they formed this relationship which has negatively affected an otherwise surprisingly healthy one, and generally various needs to step away from the relationship and be alone for a while. Eventually, after they’ve squared everything with themselves, they do get the opportunity to try again—and they do with success.

Kal is an easier one. I see you’re also not a Kal fan, so I won’t rehash the entire thing about how Kal isn’t as good as he is framed to be. But for any third parties, it is my view that Kal fails as a guardian and, while he is well-meaning, he is controlling, manipulative, disregarding of his children’s needs, and emotionally abusive. I’ve written about it extensively here, but I can stand to do it a little more—anyone wanting to know more, my ask is open.

Though I basically disregard a lot of what Legacy of the Force did with Clan Skirata and dismiss entirely out of hand everything Traviss planned for Imperial Commando 2, I do retain one thing: Kal seeks to destroy the aging cure.

The exact details on his motivations are still a little fuzzy, but I’m certain he does so because he believes it is the best way to protect the family. However, it is a decisions that best serves his interests, not that of anybody else in the family; ultimately, it is a self-serving and self-centered decision. Broadly, there is staunch disagreement on this, most vocally the Nulls. With one exception, Ordo. Though Ordo very much agrees the cure should not be destroyed, he finds himself being asked to choose between Kal and the other Nulls. Despite it all, and despite how far he’s come, Ordo still views losing Kal’s approval as an existential threat. He adopts a neutral stance because he is afraid and he is trying to have it both ways. Among the Nulls, at least, there is understanding for why Ordo is scared to vocally oppose Kal.

To get to the point, despite the overwhelming disagreement, Kal ends up destroying the cure anyway. Or, he thinks he does. Mereel, being clever and having A’den’s support, secretly saved some of it—just in case.

It isn’t enough, however, to save the family. Mereel, disgusted, is immediately estranged from Kal, and the others drift off as well. Ordo, ends up being the last of the six to remain. Seeing the others feel pushed away from Kal wears his own relationship to Kal down. Blame @tapcaftogo especially for this last part, but Mereel apparently dies. Though it isn’t entirely accurate, Ordo jumps to the conclusion: “If Kal hadn’t driven him out, Mereel would still be alive.”

(Just to throw it in here to reassure you, he’s not actually dead. He’s just believed dead.)

Sure, inaccurate, but it’s the start of a very long journey down realizing that Kal has hurt them all immensely anyway. Coupled with Ordo’s own guilt that he let fear of losing Kal’s approval over supporting the five siblings he loves more than anything else in the galaxy, it fractures whatever is left of Ordo’s relationship with Kal.

Unable to cope with the immense amount of stress, he suffers a debilitating nervous breakdown, gets pulled out of Kyrimorut by Besany, and doesn’t look back. The subsequent process of dealing with grief, recovering from his breakdown, gaining the distance to finally grasp the true nature of his relationship with Kal, working through it all solidifies the estrangement.

Ordo is forced to face the extreme end of how Kal’s disregard for their decisions and how his self-centeredness hurts them and, coupled with the physical and emotional distance his nervous breakdown demands, he is given the chance to look back at it all and see it for what it is.

Besany is a harder one to explain, but it’s very much based on headcanon. I’ve written two posts on it: some rough sketching, on motivations for why it developed. Specifically, Ordo and Besany are still married, they never formally divorce, but they are separated and are open to seeing other people. Though it wasn’t exactly as intended at the time, what ends up happening is that Ordo and Besany go on (a very long) break—they separate, but ultimately they get back together eight or nine years later.

Ordo is so very young. He doesn’t have any life experience nor does he have a completely settled sense of identity. The way Kal raised him to think of romantic relationships isn’t completely healthy either: to have a normal life, Ordo must have a marriage. Besany as a spouse becomes an integral, inseparable part of Ordo having a normal life. It’s a framework that is susceptible to pedestals and possessiveness and stifling idealism.

And I think that’s what happens. The relationship gets stifling—because they get trapped in pitfalls that they didn’t adequately work out in the early stages. As they change, they get anxious about what the other thinks of them and both start focusing on what they believe the other expects from a good spouse. They start turning inward, into themselves, into their own anxieties—as is their tendency to do as intensely self-reliant persons—instead of turning outward toward each other. They project, they assume, they disconnect. As they both change, the disconnect grows greater until it starts to fester into resentment.

To add onto it, much of their early relationship is informed by the fact that they are both very lonely people who are desperate for the validation and emotional support offered by each other. They love each other, deeply and sincerely, but there is a potential for a lingering shadow on their relationship that this was something built because they had no other choice.

I basically conceive of it as Ordo coming back to this relationship once he has a firmer sense of self, stronger ability to navigate a close relationship, and a more developed understanding of his own personal needs and of how to tend to someone else’s needs. Besany, for her own part, doesn’t have the same identity and boundary issues to work out—but her life has had a series of major upheavals, and she’s been swept into this family and her choices limited to what this single family, what Kal specifically, has wanted to do and wanted her to do. She needs the ability to step out of this circle just to know that she can. This was a family structure that, when Kal was in it, was immensely controlling and was almost violently reluctant to allow people to leave it. Even though Ordo would never retaliate against her should she decide to leave him, she needs that peace of mind to know that she can safely leave him. And feeding into that, Ordo needs to be alone. He needs to know that her leaving him isn’t the end of the world. He needs to learn that he can and is able to stand on his own—despite his fears about being left, despite all he’s been told about how his life cannot be normal without her.

After everything about the situation they were in has done to them and how it has negatively influenced a relationship between them that has so much good to offer, they both need the certainty that being alone can offer them. They both step away from the relationship to give each other and themselves the breathing room to figure things out.

It’s like… weirdly complicated in my head, and I don’t think I’m explaining it right, but that’s how it is. They need breathing room, especially Ordo. They need time to come to terms with the new contexts of their lives and figure themselves out alone—so that they don’t tie everything into this relationship and ask of this relationship the impossible.

How exactly it happens, there isn’t a specific incident really for it. It’s just a slow degrading over time, them growing distant from each other, at times skating so close to resentment. It’s just ongoing strain in their relationship and their inability to accommodate the kind of person their beloved is becoming strains them more. They do both still love each other, it’s just that they’ve begun to struggle to manage the lingering issues that have plagued them and they’ve ignored since the beginning. Ordo, especially, grows afraid of being resented. In an effort to save themselves, to save each other, they decide to cut each other loose before they both get dragged into the undertow and drown.

I don’t really have an inciting incident right now for why they chose to part ways, but it was a long-time coming.

It’s the best decision for them both. They survive. They grow. They settle into themselves. They never get divorced because they don’t want to formally admit they gave up and failed. They both still hold a flame, though it’s one they both feel silly acknowledging directly to even themselves. They, ultimately, get the chance to try again—and since they’ve worked out a lot of issues with themselves and their worldviews, it’s a more successful relationship this time.

#Buckets off.#Sitrep.#Comlink.#Contacts.#long post for ts

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loudlytransparenttrash · 7 years

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The truth about ‘Students for Justice on Palestine’ on campus

If you are on an American campus, you are probably familiar with Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) because of their aggressive anti-Israel demonstrations and weird political theater. The organization started as a small, radical anti-Israel group in the hub of student radicalism, UC Berkeley, in October 2000, in response to the Palestinian Intifada which began at almost the same time. Within a year, chapters had spread to over 25 other campuses, including Yale and Princeton. By 2005, chapters had sprouted on campuses across the country and today they have a presence in over 200 of our universities.

When the SPJ organizes events at your campus, be prepared for an anti-Israel assault and be even further prepared for your liberal classmates to support and even join in on this blatant antisemitism and watch them get away with it because it’s coming from those who can do no wrong - Muslim students. The SJP fomented new radicalism about the Palestinian-Israel conflict and gave a new energy and visibility to Palestinian and Hamas propaganda. The SJP have moved far beyond legitimate criticism of the Israeli government and its policies into complete delegitimization of the Jewish state by organizing and sponsoring anti-Israel events and campaigns more actively than any other group in the nation.

SJP's declared mission is to “promote the cause of justice” but instead they echo much of what is said by the Hamas terrorists who seek to permanently end Israel's existence as a sovereign Jewish state. The reason for this is simple: SJP was in essence formed to help spread anti-Semitism through the halls of American academia; to wage a campus war against Israel by providing rhetorical support for the Jew-hatred undergirding the Second Palestinian Intifada which Hamas and allied terrorists had launched in late September 2000.

SJP's principal founder, Hatem Bazian, has quoted approvingly from a famous Islamic hadith which calls for the violent slaughter of Jews and which appears in Hamas's founding charter. “In the Hadith, the Day of Judgment will never happen until you fight the Jews. Oh Muslim, there is a Jew hiding behind me. Come and kill him!” He once spoke at a fundraising event for a Hamas front group that the U.S. government later shut down due to the organization's ties to Islamic terrorism. Notwithstanding Hamas's calls for the mass murder and genocide of Jews, the website of SJP's UC Berkeley chapter describes Hamas not as a terrorist group but rather as “a vast social organization.” It is commonplace for SJP's rank-and-file members to support, or to at least decline to condemn, Islamic terrorism. At a UC San Diego talk by David Horowitz, a SJP student refused to condemn the terror group Hamas and said if she admitted her support for Hamas then she would be arrested by Homeland Security. Horowitz offered to rephrase the question and asked, “the head of Hezbollah has said that he hopes all Jews gather in Israel so he doesn’t have to hunt them all down globally, are you for or against it?” The SJP shows her true colors by admitting she is for it yet everyone just shrugs their shoulders because she’s Muslim so it’s okay for her to want Jews wiped out. It’s Islamohobia to question her and all those within her group. The most significant and influential supporter of SJP is American Muslims for Palestine (AMP), which was established in 2005 by none other than SJP co-founder Hatem Bazian. At least eight of AMP's current board members, key officials, and close allies were previously members of now-defunct Islamic extremist groups that funded terrorist activities.

SJP’s national convention was sponsored by the Islamic Association for Palestine, a now-defunct, Illinois-based front group for Hamas. The conference featured keynote speaker Sami Al-Arian, a former University of South Florida professor who served as the North American leader of Palestinian Islamic Jihad, a terrorist organization whose objectives include the destruction of Israel, the elimination of all Western influences in the Middle East by means of armed warfare, and the convergence of all Muslim countries into a single Islamic caliphate.

A number of SJP chapters hold annual commemorations in honor of the late Hassan al-Banna, founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, a group which Islam expert Robert Spencer has described as “the parent organization of Hamas and al Qaeda.” Al-Banna was an inveterate Jew-hater who firmly opposed the creation of Israel in 1948 and strove to forge a formal alliance with Hitler and Mussolini when World War II broke out. Al-Banna was also the mentor of Haj Amin Al-Husseni, the pro-Hitler father of Palestinian nationalism.

More recently, SJP chapters across U.S campuses have begun to drink saltwater to show their soladarity with Palestine terrorists, specifically convicted terrorist Marwan Barghout, currently being detained in Israeli prisons. They have called it the “saltwater challenge” where the participant drinks one cup of saltwater to show their support which coincides with a surge of SJP’s Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions (BDS) resolutions demanding that universities sell their holdings in companies that do business with Israel, some of which were introduced or debated during Passover, when Jewish students were unable to attend student government meetings to express opposition. SJP is America's leading campus promoter of the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions movement, a Hamas-inspired initiative that aims to use various forms of public protest and economic pressure to advance the Hamas agenda of Israel's destruction. While Hamas pursues this goal in its low-intensity war against Israel by means of terrorism and bloodshed, BDS supplements those efforts by pushing for three forms of nonviolent punitive action designed to cripple Israel's economy and bring the nation to its knees politically: Coordinated boycotts that aim to intimidate and coerce corporations, universities, and individuals into breaking off their business relationships with Israel, decisions by banks, pension funds, corporations, and other entities to withdraw any financial investments which they may have made in the state of Israel or in companies that operate there and targeted sanctions, such as trade penalties or bans, arms embargoes, and the severing of diplomatic ties, imposed by governments around the world against Israel specifically. Using these tactics, SJP and its allies in the BDS movement seek to lay the psychological and rhetorical groundwork for creating the false impression that Israel has illegally and immorally usurped large swaths of land that rightfully belong to the Palestinians, likening Israeli public officials and soldiers to “Nazis” and delegitimizing in the minds of people worldwide, Israel's very right to exist as a sovereign state while promoting the idea that this illegitimate Jewish state should be replaced by an Arab-majority alternative. As NGO Monitor puts it, the effectiveness of BDS campaigns is rooted chiefly “in their ability to penetrate the public and political discourse and blur the lines between legitimate criticism of Israel and the complete delegitimization of Israel in the international arena.”

Particularly notable is the fact that since 2005, a number of SJP chapters have designated one week of every academic year as “Palestine Awareness Week” or, alternatively, “Israel Apartheid Week.” These weeks feature an array of SJP-sponsored events where Israel is repeatedly denounced in incendiary language as an apartheid state that is guilty of human-rights abuses, war crimes, ethnic cleansing and even genocide. Yet no one calls it antisemitic or questions the SJP because they are Muslim students and that would be Islamophobia.

Protests on college campuses are nothing new. They are a rite of passage for gullible young minds attracted to emotionally-exciting slogans, the simplistic solutions that people not yet educated but convinced of their own brilliance find plausible, and a chance to posture at being morally superior to their society. Campus protests start have to be taken seriously however when a thinly-disguised antisemitic hate-group begins to grow into a nationwide force, turning campuses into hotbeds of Jew-baiting rhetoric that has not been considered acceptable in America within living memory. That the group, which is recruiting U.S. college students by the thousands and the fact that it aligns itself with known Islamic terrorists is alarming.

If any group wanted to whip up a frenzy of protest for its cause, campuses filled with young, impressionable activists are the perfect, perhaps only, venue in which to do it. Real people have jobs, lives and families, which tend to give them a somewhat more responsible view of the world. College students yearn for serious commitments in their responsibility-free lives, and often find them in extremist politics. They are doing it in a calculated way. The SJP calls Israel "this generation’s South Africa" and call the Jews the real Nazis. These absurd accusations pack a punch with college students on liberal campuses, who are primed and ready to protest anything that non-white people tell them to.

The SJP says it’s up to today’s college students to help put an end to the "Apartheid State of Israel" by demanding that their colleges and universities divest from companies that do business there. Specifically, the group aims to create public sympathy in the U.S. and around the world for the Palestinians, resulting in economic sanctions against Israel, eventually toppling its "apartheid" regime. SJP is targeting Starbucks, the eternal favorite for student protests of all kinds, plus General Electric, Disney and scores of other companies, using protests on college campuses to pressure these companies.

What’s troubling about SJP isn’t its flair for dramatic protests or their displays where they dress up as Jewish soldiers and act out raping and beating Palestine civilians, nor is it the group’s opposition to Israel as everyone is entitled to voice his or her own ridiculous opinion in this country. What’s troubling is that the SJP is attracting kids with inflammatory words like "apartheid," and "repression," when they should be saying, "terrorist" and "suicide bomber."

College students who are recruited into this organization need to know, first and foremost, that they are cozying up to a group with proven ties to terrorism and the Islamic jihad against Israel, America, and the rest of the non-Muslim world. Secondly, they need to open their eyes to realize that the SJP’s tactics are moving well beyond benign, non-violent protests of U.S. foreign policy.

The group is turning our campuses into forums for open antisemitism which is going either completely ignored or supported by our colleges in fear of inciting an accusation of Islamophobia since it’s coming from Muslim students so instead antisemitism gets linked and blamed on all white/conservative students for no other reason than they are white/conservative.

SJP supports what most Palestinians call for: nothing less than the abolition of the state of Israel and the only way to bring a lasting peace to the region, they say, is to eliminate Israel. Think about that. Why is this group continuing to go unchallenged? Supporters of this group and those reblogging this group’s posts and accusations need to do their research. This is a dangerous and dishonest organization taking advantage of the ignorance of America’s college youth to promote a deadly agenda. We saw the same thing in the 60’s, we should know better.

#islam #palestine

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miraclejin1204 · 7 years

Text

Mandatory bughead post #2: My thoughts on Bughead and why it is important.

I’m aware that the words ‘bughead’ & ‘important’ in the same sentence seem like a misfit but there is a good reason why I’ve chosen to write it so. This thought came to my mind whilst trawling through the morass of ‘ships’ & ‘ship-wrecks’ on tumblr & twitter about Riverdale.

Now, I’m not someone who watches a lot of TV shows ,however, Riverdale was a serendipitous discovery that happened to me two weeks ago.

I have been a fan of Archie comics since I was little & my two favourite characters were Jughead & Betty, in that order. Watching Riverdale was a revelation as it brought me back to the Archie’s world and I saw it in a new light. I went into it without expectations.

What I was not prepared for was how Bughead would gently creep up on me and reign over my entire existence in such a short span of time.

You see, I have had a few ships, some fleeting and some enduring,some canon and some fantasy, however nothing as rabid or as intense that’d induce an “I’m SHOOK” moment. Until bughead happened.

When I used to read the comic books, I had wanted Archie to one day wake up & realize that Betty was the one for her, because I could so relate to her as a kind & sweet girl, being taken for granted every time and with a history of unrequited love. I’m 30 now and life-experiences, especially of the bitter kind has certainly changed my perspective about these things, especially about romantic relationships. No more suffering fairy-tale princesses for me.

In the comics, although Jughead and Betty were my favourites and they always were good to each other, the thought of them as a potential match had never crossed my mind. I was intrigued and amused by Jughead’s woman-hating stance and had imagined that one day an extraordinary woman worthy of him would come and sweep him off his feet.I had no concept of sexuality and its associated complications that we see today, it was only a pure and innocent fantasy in my mind.

I had only been familiar with the ‘classic’ and humorous golden age Archie comic digests and was unaware of the modern reboots and the various universes. Therefore, when I started watching Riverdale, I was immediately hooked to its modern,quirky & dark narrative and had my assumptions broken down bit by bit with each episode. When I started with the show, five episodes were already in so I binge watched them in a single night, which left me with little time to process the minute details and subtleties, which is why I missed noticing the growing chemistry Betty and Jughead.

It was only when I began exploring the show on the internet and understood the whole narrative and tone of the show,re-watched the episodes, saw the interviews, trawled Tumblr & youtube and accidentally saw the leaked bughead kiss is when it hit me like slap on the face and a swift kick in the ovaries. It nearly felt like enlightenment!

Once I had seen and felt it, there was no going back. It was a like a virus firmly implanted in my psyche. I resurrected my dormant and inactive tumblr and twitter accounts only to ship bughead. I’m sure fellow bughead fans know the drill of our coming undone so I won’t go into much detail.

Coming to the next part. Riverdale or rather Bughead has come into my life as a breath of fresh air when I am going through a very dark and stressful phase. I have been going through a very difficult divorce from a man, who caused mental abuse and cheated my family of money & absconded and left me to deal with the consequences and legal battles, triggering my anxiety,fear and depression. A man whom I had trusted with my everything and was completely vulnerable to, used me and left me with a deep fear and mistrust of relationships, trauma and some very hard learnt lessons. I’m an eternal romantic but a part of me has become cynical about it.

Riverdale is a unique show as is evident in its excellent writing,for those who care to notice the nuances and characterisations. The symbolism, fore-shadowing, word-play, subtle body-language cues of the characters, parallelism and of course, a quality mystery is the gold-standard of writing. Can we also talk about the wonderful and talented cast who have given life to the characters? The show is a slow burn and not for those with a shallow mind who are looking for popcorn entertainment with a lot of mindless drama and illogical and unstable romantic pairings based on lust and superficial chemistry,

Bughead is not just a run of the mill ship that people are fangirling over. It is beautiful union which tells you the story of two woefully young and tender yet jaded individuals, thrown together by a tragic fate, who are battling the darkness within and without, fighting for something that’s bigger than them and their personal problems. They are fighting for justice, light and hope. In spite of their struggle with their personal demons. Can you imagine what they are going through? For any child, parents are the safe space when the world around them crumbles, but both Betty and Jughead’s parents let them down with lies, manipulation and broken promises and the possibility that their families could be the perpetrators of murder. Under such horrible circumstances, they find the safe space with each other.

They both are mature beyond their years, insightful, righteous, kind, compassionate, supportive and caring and there for each other without being asked. They communicate with their heart and eyes (sometimes with heart eyes too ;) ) It is not a connection based on lust and hormonal surges. Something very old-fashioned and real in the era of hook-ups. An oasis in a desert.

People who keep harping on about how there is no chemistry at all between Jughead and Betty and that it was rushed and illogical, then I’m sorry that you’re oblivious to everything that is going on in the show. They have been friends since childhood.

I think we do not give the writers enough credit for writing something so profound and refreshing in spite of it being a teen drama. A homeless, abandoned, rudderless boy, an outcast who is bullied, selflessly helps a girl find her sister and uncover the truth, not because he wants to get into her pants. A stifled, lonely yet nurturing and loving girl giving strength, support and courage to a lost and scared boy failed by his father and society. They are each other’s guardian angels.

So I ask this to all the haters..can’t you see this? Are you so blinded by your superficial hate and violent desire to stuff your ship down everyone’s throats because it gives you some sort of false sense of control over others that you have lost the ability to objectively see what the show is striving for through this beautiful narrative within the confines of what is ostensibly a teen drama? Can we not rise above our pettiness of mindless and hostile shipping to learn from it? Everyone is free to ship whomever and whatever they want but it is another thing to be so vitriolic and spiteful towards the others to have your way. Isn’t shipping supposed to be all about love anyway? Bughead is so much above all this petty drama, it is transcendental.

There’s so much that all of us, teens and even adults can learn from this ideal of a super healthy relationship that both television and our lives need. We need to move away from toxicity both in entertainment and our lives. Can we not be inspired to work on ourselves and build supportive, organic and nurturing relationships? This should give so much inspiration to the teens of today. With Betty & Veronica, the show strives to re-build the idea of strong, female friendships which seems to have become an alien concept in the world of ‘frenemy’ culture. Why can’t two girls be healthy best friends without the assumption that there is something sexual between them? People are hating on Bughead also for a fact that they are a heterosexual couple. As I see it, love is love in any shape or form.

Also, I do agree that all sorts of representation must have a place in popular culture and thankfully it is happening. However, those who are unhappy with Bughead saying that it erases Jughead’s asexuality, I disagree. Are you saying that Asexual people can’t fall in love? That they don’t deserve an intimate bond with another?

Now, in the larger Archie comicverse, Jughead was never portrayed as being an asexual, he simply was smarter and wiser and had other priorities compared to his hormone crazed pals. He was always the voice of reason. I’m sure that there are people like that, not everyone who doesn’t choose to be a crazy, horned dog is asexual. Besides, Jughead is shown to be asexual in only one version of the comics. There can be multiple variations of characteristics in the larger universe. Riverdale chooses its own narrative and characters as it sees fit for the context of the show. Therefore, in this version, Jughead isn’t asexual or aromantic. There is no erasure of any kind. Even if he were asexual, I’m sure that Bughead still can have a loving and healthy relationship.

It is my personal opinion and I am not trying to belittle anyone or trivialising the serious issue of representation in anyway. However, I do feel that in today’s world where there is so much hate and strife, showing love and companionship in its true and purest form is the most important issue here, first and foremost. It doesn’t really matter whatever is the sexuality or orientation of the characters in question. So, let us all keep our differences aside and show our love and support to something is for the greater good. Love is universal and not restricted to a specific type or form. Besides, it is fiction,let’s remember that.

I also think that we must avoid pressuring or attacking the creative team, actors and show runners into bullying them to change their vision for the show. That truly doesn’t serve any purpose other than being detrimental to the quality of the show and making the team de-motivated. Let’s all appreciate the hard work and love everyone has put in to present to us something that is so beloved and cherished by all.

Why is showing a healthy, supportive, wholesome and stable relationship necessary? I can tell you why, because I have suffered greatly in an unsupportive, toxic and abusive relationship that was all about selfishness and greed with no regard or love for the feelings of the other person. Where one person only gave and gave and the other only took everything. I was left drained and battered and I’m still bearing the burden of its ruins.

So, when Bughead came along, it was catharsis and relief. It was about having the hope of bright sunshine in the pitch black darkness. It was about selflessness and having high standards and working for the greater good, something that is bigger than us. It was about women not wallowing and pining after some boy who had little value or regard for them and not allowing a man decide the course of their lives .It was about unconditional love and support without labels. It was pure beauty and art, like a perfect symphony.

Bughead isn’t merely escapism. It is the light of goodness that illuminates our hearts and fills us with compassion and hope for something beautiful. It is the delicate flower that grows in the parched desert of hopelessness and deceit.

Let us protect it all costs.

#bughead #riverdale #jughead jones #betty cooper #betty x jughead #archie #archie comics #i ship it #fanfic #fandom #rant

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neohanaa · 7 years

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From a Nobody Fan: For Those Who Don’t Like Killing Stalking...

***This post in particular will be updated based on other things noted in the story that may be problematic or something involved in discussion. Also, I/m looking out for any spelling mistakes as I read this over and over for it to make proper sense. I also won’t be using the word “antis” as it is derogatory and I want this post to encourage CIVILIZED dialogue. Additional examples will be added to further prove points. Thanks for reading and understanding.

I go into the Killing Stalking general relevance posts (memes, pictures, summaries, theories) and I’m seeing all this hate for it as of recent to the point where I just see negative posts. I am a fan but I’m not crazy. I think the story is interesting and the memes are funny. I get that you don’t like it but you can’t say that the fans are evil and against everything you stand for. Have YOU (the ones against KS) liked something like Hannibal? How about Stephen King? Hell, maybe even something as popular as Shakespeare! I can even mention video games if I wanted to! Were there any problematic characters in there? Were there problematic themes in stories? How about the situation?

If you answered yes or even gave a thought as to what media/show/book/character/movie you like that may include gore, mental issues, abuse, shitty characters, setting, dialogue, and whatever there is included, then I have no clue as to why you give KS fans that much hate. The majority of fans that I have seen on here understand that this is a fictional piece of visual literature (at its most basic, a comic).

“But this can happen IN REAL LIFE!!! SANGWOO IS A MURDERER AND YOONBUM IS A STALKER!!! HOW CAN YOU LIKE THOSE CHARACTERS?!?!!?!HOW CAN YOU LOVE A MURDERER AFTER SEEING WHAT HE DOES?!?!?! IT’S AN IDEALIZATION OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!! IT’S TOO GORY AND VIOLENT!!!”

I have seen fans defend KS time and time again, I will repeat them in defense of KS.

1. Distinction Between Reality and Fiction- A lot of the fans, if not most, understand that something like this can happen in real life BUT the fans also understand that this is a fictional piece of work with the general purpose of being a form of entertainment to read and talk about. We know Superman comics are fiction, so why can’t we treat KS as fiction? (Even though one character is from a different planet and the other is a human, who’s to say that a fictional piece of literature can’t be compared to other literature based on genre and characters? The thing they have in common is that they’re fiction. Obviously the fans have the common sense to not do the sorts of acts portrayed in Killing Stalking)

2. Problematic Characters- The characters were given their circumstances and personalities and looks by the author. The author fleshes out their characters through bits and pieces of information that reveal their pasts in various chapters. It’s the complexity of the characters (and design even) that makes a person like them or not. Fans (a lot or most idk) like Sangwoo not just because he is handsome and a murderer, but rather they like him because of what he adds to the story: tension. We as fans can’t always tell what he’s thinking and his facial expressions and way of talking and acting makes the whole story even more tense because one minute he’s calm and then the next he will go batshit hysterical. Fans either want to see Sangwoo dead or succeed or in jail because he’s too far deep into his current lifestyle to go back to a normal life. Fans wanna see what happens. He has a pretty realistic character design and personality if you think about it because people have the ability to be two-faced: A social face and the true face. You never know what someone is truely thinking. Yoonbum even. He’s not perfect at all in the least. He is a classified stalker with a mental illness. Yet fans like him because he is a character with a bad past (sympathy) which causes him to distort the space around himself and cause his eventual trouble with the law in being a stalker which makes more problems with him becoming one of Sangwoo’s eventual basement dwellers (we want to see him succeed in escape or even other outcomes). These people aren’t perfect and I will reiterate that because this is fiction, the fact that it is fiction it is something most fans make a note of. These characters are fictional and in no way do we condone any of these characters’ actions in real life. If you like, say, Eddy from the cartoon show Ed Edd and Eddy, but you know that he is a greedy asshole and sometimes even gets the kids from the block hurt, do you think I would say you’re evil for liking him? NO because that’s his character and how he was made and his actions reflect off that personality and you like him because of that personality and shenanigans he gets his friends and himself into. Too lighthearted? The how about if you like Hannibal Lecter? As overused as he is, he is a manipulative cannibalistic murderer that people like. In the end, personally, the really unlikable character I have ever come across in my life that I truly did not like was Makoto from School Days (anime based on visual novel) because he was made so unlikable (became a general asshole without spoiling the actual premise).

Another thing I want to maybe mention as to why you might feel disgust by the characters is how realistic they might actually be. Absurd? Yes and no. It’s bonkers to probably think this because they can be anyone we know in our life, thus you become repulsed by these characters. You have a social face and a “true” face. Have you ever had the face when you talk to someone you don’t want to talk to? I mentioned earlier that Sangwoo is two-faced. The fact that no one really knows he’s a murderer makes it even worse when you know when not anyone else in the story besides the victims and Bum and our police man know. To refer back to the first point, it’s this distinction between reality and fiction that that the fans acknowledge that allows us to read and, dare I say, enjoy these characters and story. Sangwoo and Bum are fictional characters, can’t we treat them as such while we judge their actions on our own terms?

3. Idealization of Abuse in Relationship and Romance- This one is a tough one considering all the mixed stuff going on in the story. I haven’t really seen anyone on Tumblr so far saying “SANGBUM ARE MY GOOOAALLSSS!!” So if you met someone who said that, then that’s the equivalent of teenagers I have seen saying “HARLEY AND JOKER ARE MY GOOAALLS!!” and that, I think, is not a healthy relationship (unless you know they’re trying to be funny about it like in some meme posts. it’s dark humor at that point). However, I do see people saying they would like them together in a healthy relationship in an alternate universe which is fine. Now, back to the problem at hand: As far as I know and the fans (generally) know, Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship are not official. Bum fell in love with Sangwoo (the fake face) and then once he finds out about Sangwoo’s murderous side, because of his illness, it brings all these conflicting emotions that allow for the manipulation to take its course. Bum isn’t in a position to completely think for himself because of his illness and his illness appears to be at a severe stage at some points especially when hallucinations happen. Even though the two did kiss and performed oral, they are not considered to be dating in any way. The fans know that this relationship is toxic because of the physical and mental abuse involved. We know a relationship between people dating should be much more positive, but this story portrays a pretty gritty and manipulative and forceful way about it which makes it negative. The acts of kissing and oral were only a small fraction of what the story offers albeit save for some pretty off-sounding dialogue. Maybe the author will explore the “romantic relationship” (please don’t ignore the quotations) but as you know, it will be abusive, so it will always be toxic. As for the fans who do ship them, at least respect the right to their opinions, even if you think it is wrong. And instead of antagonizing them, ask them why they ship them as a way to understand their thinking. We’re people after all. The story is given the genre of BL (Boys Love) because the relationship we are exposed mostly is between two men in the story. The “romance” parts are a bit weird, but reading the story, it’s all abuse. I know that there is also the argument of the story being homophobic, and while I just see the relationship as toxic and abusive, I don’t know if I can say anything on it being homophobic aside from the fact that Sangwoo seems to be a homophobic person that is confused by his sexuality. No relationship is perfect and relationships like this do exist in the world. If you want to cover a story that a shitty relationship that abuse, go to Fifty Shades of Grey where it claims to be bdsm when it’s really just not.

4. It’s Too Violent and Gory- As simple as this answer is, if the cover photo of the story doesn’t give a hint to how everything is going to go, then it’s on you really. If you go in expecting minimal violence only to find out it’s brutal, then you really have been warned. I think because the story is expressed visually and is graphic with detail with very gritty textures and gross looking atmosphere, especially with the first two chapters, it appears much more brutal. Literature can make things visual with words, but it’s how the imagination creates the image that affects the intensity and atmosphere of the book (the mind translates details differently). We’re given raw images that showcases death and brutality and it’s disgusting and painful, just as the story is made out to be. So while I understand how disturbing the images are and how you feel towards them is complete and utter disgust, don’t look for them and then talk about how problematic they are. This story is written for audiences above a specific age that can handle this element and its general story for a reason.

So that was the defense. Now, here are the things I acknowledge about your stance:

1. It’s Triggering- For those who suffered abuse and find this story triggering because of being in a similar situation, then I’m sorry about whatever you’re going through. This story is brutal and no one should have to go through anything of the like.

2. Some Fans MAY Be Underage- As mature as this story is, age isn’t as regulated as it should be and anyone can bypass age by lying about it when signing up for the website or finding it online randomly. We can’t all monitor what children watch. It’s like an R-Rated movie. Have you ever attempted to watch an R-Rated movie without an adult? If yes, then I won’t judge you. If not, then that’s also cool. (some R-Rated movies are pretty decent you just gotta look at the reviews) As someone who found out about yaoi/boys love genre in general at age 15 but wasn’t fully interested until I was 17/18, I can see the stigma. Generally underage fans are any age below about 17-19 depending on the content and are generally considered to be immature, loud, overexcited, and very... imaginative...(?) about the story and characters. Generally, they may make a fandom unapproachable because of the extreme ends of the spectrum in views they have in regards to the story. I don’t know how old most people are in the KS fandom, but the posts I come across are generally either memes and fanart, theories and character analysis, cosplay, or “Sangwoo X Prison!!!” I haven’t seen alarming things that would make me think the fandom is under the age of at least 17 or 18 and there are mature teenagers that can handle this story. There really isn’t anything you can do if you meet someone who likes it and they’re younger than you. You’re not their parent.

3. Fan Hostility and (Sangwoo’s) Violence Toward Characters (+ Because of Personalities)- This is something that I have seen with the emergence of the female character Ji Eun. I can’t really tell how many fans were hostile because of her presence. She was made with a purpose to be a jerk and be interested in the handsome murderer (because if the murderer was ugly and straightforward, there would be much more suspicion on Sangwoo). I have seen people not like her because she was in the way of the “relationship” between Sangwoo and Bum and I have seen people not like her because she was an asshole towards Bum. Some people like her and that’s cool. Ji Eun is this character that relies on our hatred for her and then become the Roman Colosseum spectators of a lion fight. I’ve seen fans sympathize and say she doesn’t deserve to die, which makes us hate Sangwoo’s character even more because he manipulated this poor girl and yet we see her as this shallow person. In the end, I think I’ve seen many fans agree that while Ji Eun was a mean person, she shouldn’t have to die. As for Sangwoo and how he kills, he, as far as fans saw up to this point, mainly killed women. However, He does gain a male victim after Bum becomes his prisoner. And the violence is brutal no less. However, his decision to target women seems to be based on his superiority complex and even possibly his past since he also has an Oedipus Complex going on.

4. Ruining the Song Killing Me Softly- Okay, not gonna lie. I love the fandom and I love the song but on this song’s youtube video(s) nowadays includes comments that that say “KS brought me here!!!” and I get it. Personally, I actually avoid the song on youtube in general so that KS doesn’t ruin the song since now it became such a staple to the story in the first 13 or so chapters, but it’s still a good song; It’s a classic song. It’s great that people are into the song, but only being into it because KS made it relevant and cool but then crazy-twitch-eye trigger is a bit too much and can actually ruin its song’s personal value to you if it becomes simply labeled as “The song KS made relevant and trigger inducing”. To be fair to the fans though, the song was implemented really well in the story because it sounds like a bell a master would ring. It’s a good tool to really exercise control and the song choice was interesting and random in a good sense. Sorry if this one sounds like I’m attacking the fans right now, but note that it’s not horrible for you to be introduced to the song, but it seems to just be less meaningful in the long run because it’s going to be that song that some story made relevant and it will only ever be attached to that instead of taking it for what it was initially.

One final section here is the middle-ground section. This is where things that have both sides occur but cannot really be decided due to it really depending on the reader and how this affects them:

1. Illness. Namely, Mental Illness- This story specifically states that the character Yoon Bum has an illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It seems to be a very bad case on top of the fact that he has been sexually abused by his Uncle and mentally (and physically) abused by Sangwoo, his captor. His thought process and actions are affected by this illness throughout many of the chapters. I have come across people saying that they can relate to Yoon Bum and his symptoms and way that he acts and praise the accuracy. I have seen people say that it’s a misrepresentation. I have seen people say that because of how accurate it is that it triggers them and then turns them away from the story, which is understandable because we don’t want you to relive that dark time. A person with a mental illness will most certainly act one way when compared to another person with the same illness who will act a different way. Whatever influence you have in your life on top of that illness may either help you or harm you depending on the circumstances. You can act aggressive, upset, irritated, calm, in-control, lost, weak, and strong. WE ARE ALL HUMAN! WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! NO ONE WILL BE THE SAME AS THE OTHER SINCE WE ARE ALL UNIQUE! (as cheesy as that sounds but you get my point) Understand that if you have a mental illness, whether it’s depression, BPD, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and other things, know that one person will handle it differently. Just because he or she doesn’t exhibit the same exact traits and way of dealing with it, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a right to an opinion. One of my best friends has depression and she is affected differently when compared to a former classmate of mine in University. Neither one of them is considered any less than the other. In the realm of the story, one of the biggest deals (a bit of a scandal really) to come out of this story is an interview with the author of Killing Stalking, Koogi, where she admitted she didn’t do much research and fans are even on the fence about how they feel about that. Maybe she’s bluffing when she says that since mental illness might be a taboo thing to talk about depending on where she lives or how she might think the media might think of her. I still support Koogi, but the comment on just choosing the illness without much research and having the symptoms coincidentally match was a bit too risky because of everything that could have gone wrong. But we know that she’ll be more careful (hopefully) from now on. Mental illness it something I noticed is very difficult to talk especially if you don’t have it, but it doesn’t mean that they can’t be aware of how differently it affects people. It’s simply unfair unless they really don’t understand and shut you down by saying “you don’t have an illness” when you are proven to have it and are trying taking the steps to become better.

2. Sexuality and Homophobic language and the Argument of Fetishization- This is a big discussion/debate between the fans and the ones who don’t like KS. The fans see the characters as either homosexuals or bisexuals with Sangwoo being more confused and then the two are just in a unofficial and abusive relationship and acknowledge this is not a relationship. As for the ones who don’t like KS, they see it as a fetishization of homosexual relationships and go straight into fujoshi/yaoi/BL lover fantasy. Both of these are valid reasons for the reasons you see fit. There are fans who are LGBTQ+ and there are people who are LGBTQ+ who dislike it. It’s all a matter of taste and if they enjoy the story or not and the characters. Fans know this is abuse and some aren’t even into the story for the “relationship” because the story is intense and arguably well written. However, fans are trying to make sense of the sexuality of Sangwoo especially since he has an unstable personality. He is mostly straight but physically and possibly emotionally sticks to Bum. He says words and talks with homophobic language sometimes but he sticks up for Bum when people make fun of him. I don’t think fans would even want to adopt Sangwoo’s homophobic language or murderous character. Actually, no fan would condone this type of behavior if someone acted like this and even fans condemn his actions. The Problematic Characters section also ties to this since his actions reflect his personality. But this is really how the fans see it. They don’t see it as fetishizing, but instead abuse. It’s the interactions between each other that they feel push the story. Now, as for the people who don’t like KS, I understand their view that it’s like it’s a fetishization of a homosexual relationship. I’ve seen that sort of thing with yaoi but it can get cringe-worthy for me when I see real-life girls shipping real people. The art in the story and scenario for Bum and Sangwoo when they do oral feels almost out of a fujoshi fantasy really, so it can be uncomfortable for those who see it that way when they read. Personally, I thought the scene was awkward and uncomfortable because of the initial situation of Bum being held captive and Sangwoo being a murderer, but it’s something that gives development to their distorted characters oddly enough. However, I will reiterate that this relationship is not official as it is manipulative and abusive as stated in the Idealization of Abuse in Relationship and Romance. Another problem lies with people who don’t like KS that say that all fans fetishize homosexual romance. That’s just outright generalizing. And I get that BL stories get flack for having that sort of thing. But I say that Shoujo manga can get pretty bad in the ideal department. All in all, it’s all on you to see if this is fetishization or an example of abuse/manipulation because there is no right answer on how to argue this. This section is the most difficult to discuss and organize so any additional input would be nice in order to edit this section properly.

If I’m missing anything, I’ll look into it and maybe mention it, but what I have here are the general concerns so far.

So, Killing Stalking is a brutal and triggering story. Will you antagonize your real life friends if they like it? Why antagonize those who like it? Why look for the tag only to bash it and say how nasty it is? We respect that you don’t like it. We can’t force you to like it. And if someone is all up in your face about it and saying “YOU SHOULD LIKE THIISSSSSS” like how you guys tell us that we shouldn’t like this, then be the better person and not act hostile. And if you dislike it that much, then blacklist the tag. Don’t tell someone to go kill themselves because that makes you just as bad as the story you say you hate with some real consequences. If the person you follow like KS, just respect that they do and unfollow them unless you like the funniness or some other thing they do. If you have people following you and they like KS, unless they specifically request something in relation to it and you know it’s uncomfortable, make it know. They follow your stuff because they like it. And stop looking for trouble if you dislike the fandom or story and then constantly talk about how bad it is. If you didn’t give the story a chance and go based off other people who talk about then, then do the research yourself and then come up with your own views on it. If the story is too much for you, then fine. If it makes you change your views and you can tolerate it, fine. Just stop harassing fans when they aren’t bothering you. So, yeah, I hope this clears up a few things about the fandom and why we enjoy the story and how reading something does not make us (the fans) evil people.

********Yo everyone, I know I keep updating this post, but feel free to tell me if I should or shouldn’t tag “anti ks” in comments because I seriously want to promote an understanding between parties instead of hostility. I can’t tell if my writing is aggressive but all I know is that it’s wrong to punish people and be mean to them for following something within their interests despite it not being the most sunshiny thing on the planet. Thanks for reading and answering.

#killing stalking #in defense of the genre #Killing stalking doesnt mean youre evil #dialogue #understanding between parties

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captainvictoryboat · 7 years

Text

Behind The Scenes 3 (3.5/???)

Author’s note: So I’ve been looking over the parts of BTS 3 that I have so far... and omg I just want you guys to get to the Japanese cities! To me, that is where I notice most of the drama happening! Sorry that this part is shorter than the last, but its because its the continuation. Sorry for any errors.

Genre: drama??? idk

Word count:1720

City: Beijing, China (3rd day)

Summary: Jungkook’s late bithday outing continued

WARNINGS: Physical abuse

Other Parts: HERE

This is my GIF. I made it based off of this scenario series.

Jungkook slowed down even more, taking in the image of Suga all over his “girlfriend”. Suga was standing over y/n as she stared up at with a smile on her face. “What the fuck are they doing? Why are they holding hands?!?”

BACK TO Y/N

“Ah-hem!” You and Suga turned to find Jungkook standing next to the two of you. “So… What’s going on here?” he asked.

When you saw Jungkook, you immediately pulled your hands away from Suga.

“Y/n is cold.” Suga said blankly.

Jungkook looked down at you. “Then let me be the one to warm you up!” He smiled. He pulled Suga’s sweater off you and placed his own jacket over your shoulders.

Jimin cringed his face when he noticed Jungkook was back. “Are you guys done?” he asked. “Let’s get going!”

“We’re going.” Jungkook said grabbing your hand.

After visiting a few more stores, you all found an adorable candy store. It was wall to wall candy and decorated so colorfully. In a rush of excitement, you all dispersed across the store.

You happened to have followed Suga when you both got excited about looking for the chocolates. Sadly, Jungkook’s hand found yours and he kept you close to him, staying by the giant lollipops. You were staring up the rainbow colored ones at the top of the shelf, when you felt Jungkook give you a back hug, “Can we do a “time out” real quick?” he whispered into your ear.

“Yeah.”

He pulled you to one side of the store with less people. “So, earlier when I saw you and Yoongi, its best that like- just don’t do stuff like that with him. It would have been bad if a fan saw you guys.”

“Oh, well it’s not like it meant-“

“I don’t care what it meant or didn’t mean, just be careful cuz people are always watching!” he snapped.

“…Ok…” you peeped.

He let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry… it’s just… trying to keep up with the whole truce thing…”

“Yeah. I get it… Thanks.”

“…Time in? Or did you want to say anything?”

You shook your head. “Time in.” To sort of make up for it all, you pulled Jungkook into a hug.

He wrapped his arms around you. “C’mon, let’s get ourselves a shit ton of candy.”

“But I still don’t have any money.” You whispered.

“I know. I’ll pay for it… Just please don’t buy any cotton candy.” He laughed.

“I won’t.” you smiled

You both went around the store, goofing off, picking out candy and playing with the little toys they also sold.

After about half an hour, you all bought an armful of candy and went back to the van. On the ride home, you sat with Jungkook because you both decided that it was best to post an update.

“Hi ARMY!” Jungkook smiled. “Again I want to thank all of you for the happy birthday wishes. The guys, y/n and I just finished my late birthday outing. Right Jagi?” He asked pointing the phone at you.

“Yup.” You smiled shyly.

“Where did we go?”

“Um, we went shopping for you… We went to eat and you forgot your phone.” you laughed. “Then more shopping, then we got all this candy!” you smiled, holding up the bag of various candies.

Jimin poked his head into the shot. “Look at all this chocolate!” He exclaimed, fanning out a few chocolate bars.

Jungkook zoomed in on the bag of candy he bought for the two of you. “All this candy and it’s still not as sweet as my jagi!”

“Not that dumb line again!” Jimin yelled. He took the phone from Jungkook. “Ok ARMY, for all our sakes I’m going to end the video now. Bye!”

The rest of the ride back was chill. You all mostly showed each other what you got and just ate candy.

The three of you came back in to the hotel room to find V already sleeping in the bed he shared with Jimin.

“Tae! Wake up! We got candy!” Jimin exclaimed as he jumped on top of V to wake him up.

You and Jungkook giggled at Jimin’s hyper mood as you both walked over to your side of the room. For some reason the lights were off, but you could have sworn you left them on when you left. “Maybe Tae turned them off when he got back.” You thought.

You placed your candy on the dresser and slipped off Jungkook’s jacket.

Both you and Jungkook froze when you noticed a figure in your bed.

“You fucking scared me!” Jungkook shouted.

Jimin and V went to the halfway point of the room to take a peek at what was going on.

The lamp next to the bed flicked on and illuminated Rap monster’s face. Under the yellow light the features of his dark expression looked much more intense. “Did little y/n have some fun?” his voice was dark and stern.

You knew not to ignore him, but you didn’t know how to answer him. “Um- I- uh-“

Rap monster stepped off the bed and slowly made his way over to you. “Wasn’t the city so beautiful? It must be so fun to go out and travel and see the world! This must feel like a vacation, doesn’t it?” He questioned mockingly.

The others stayed motionless as you struggled to think of something to say. “Umm, I-“ you could feel yourself taking steps back as he inched his was up to you.

Suddenly Rap monster clamped his hands around your throat and slammed you against the wall. “Listen to me you fucking bitch! This isn’t some fucking getaway! Just because we aren’t at the dorm, doesn’t mean you can go around getting comfortable!” He tightened his grip and you couldn’t breathe.

Your finger reached for his hands, but you were already weak and your attempts did nothing.

“Let go of her!” Jimin shouted. He ran over to try and get Rap monster off you.

Rap monster swiftly slipped one hand off your neck and used it to elbow Jimin in the face as he came up to him.

Jimin quickly fell to the floor on impact. “Fuck!” He huffed as he grabbed his eye.

Rap monster pulled you close to him and then slammed your head against the wall. “I own you! Don’t you forget that!” He spat. His hands loosened from your neck and a smirk grew on his face as he watched your body slide down to the floor. With nothing more to add, he calmly left the room.

“Are you guys okay?” Jungkook asked once the hotel door clicked shut.

Jimin came up to you, still grabbing his eye, “Y/n, how’s your head? It sounded really bad.”

“It hurts.” You whimpered.

“Tae, go get Minho over here. Jungkook, stay with y/n. I am gonna to go check my eye.”

Jungkook crouched down beside you. You tried to get up but he softly held you back. “Just stay there.” He said softly. “If your head is hurting, you don’t want to risk anything. It can be serious.”

It took a while, but V eventually returned with Minho. Minho checked Jimin first, simply giving him an ice pack. When it came to you, he did a quick run through and asked you a few questions. “Well, you don’t seem to have a concussion.” He concluded. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Just take some pain relievers and you should be fine.” He handed you some travel packets of medicine he had in his pockets.

You quietly thanked him and he left the room.

Jungkook carefully helped you up from the floor and you tried to just get over it and wash up. Sadly, you only had the strength to brush your teeth. You took the medicine and slipped under the covers.

Jungkook later joined you, going under his sheet. You noticed he was a bit surprised to see that you were still awake, just staring at his pillow. “I thought you’d be asleep.” He whispered.

You shook your head.

“You okay?”

Again, you shook your head.

“… Wanna talk about it?”

You looked up at him. “Is he really willing to talk to me?” you thought. You moved yourself closer to him and nodded.

“Um, who do you wanna talk to? Yoongi? Hoseok? You always talk to them about this stuff right?”

“Oh…” you thought. “So, he doesn’t want to talk. He just doesn’t want to deal with me.” All you did was nod at him again.

He got up from the bed and headed out the room.

“Where are you going?” you could hear Jimin ask.

“Just go back to sleep.” You heard Jungkook say as he closed the door behind him.

Not even three minutes passed when you heard the door open. You heart sunk when you only heard one set of footsteps come into the room. “I knew they weren’t going to come.” You thought.

The steps came over to your side of the bed. The lamp was flicked on and Jungkook sat himself at the edge of the mattress. “Umm… Well, they were awake, but, uh, they aren’t really gonna be much help to you right now…”

You gave him a tiny nod and turned over on your side. You could feel your tears falling, but you didn’t bother to wipe him away. What mostly kept you from doing so was the fact that you could feel Jungkook staring down at you with pity.

He turned off the light and made his way to his side of the bed. However, instead of going under his sheet, he went under yours and moved up next to you. “I know that I’m not Yoongi or Hoseok, but if you still want to talk, you can…” He offered awkwardly.

You wiped your eyes and moved closer to him. You tried to talk to him, but your voice was so shaken it was mostly series of whimpers and mumbles. Despite your inability to form actual words, he still listened to you.

Unlike when you were both pretending, Jungkook wasn’t as physically comforting. It wasn’t until you were just plain crying that he hesitantly brought you into a rather awkward hug. Only occasionally did he say, “It’s okay” or “Just don’t think too much about it.”

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theintuitivewildflower · 6 years

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Twenty early signs of an awakening and how to embrace your journey!

��🌻🙏When a wildflower blooms: a spiritual awakening experience🙏🌻💜

I’ve always felt like a wildflower. Different from the structured roses in gardens; they seemed too prim and proper, tamed from being tied up to trellises and told where and how to grow. Like Alice may have felt when she fell into wonderland with the talking flower gardens; they were whispering and gossipping about her strangeness and stated that she must be “a wildflower.” I always just did my best to fit in and it seemed to suffice for many years. However, I couldn’t help but notice that I thought differently; more deeply than my family and peers. I’ve been the unofficial counselor all my life; finding joy when I’m able to help others in some way.

I’ve always had strong intuition but in my younger years I didn’t always listen to it. I remember having deja-vu type dreams and being told it was a coincidence. I quit paying attention to it all and life happened; marriage,kids, college loss of loved ones and a divorce, for example. I went through the motions that everyone around me did, unfulfilled and with a knowing that I wasn’t pursuing my purpose. I had allowed others to plan my course and let ego steer. I wasn’t the peaceful let it go type during these years. I was unhappy, angry, resentful mainly with myself and this would overflow out to my relationships.

My spiritual journey to awakening began after a suicide in the family, followed by a rough divorce. Next, I found myself in a toxic relationship in which I experienced emotional trauma. It lasted 6 years and did damage to my soul. I was able to get the strength and resources to get out after a long 6 years and vowed to heal and get myself back because I had lost myself. There were times so dark I contemplated suicide. I felt very stuck, alone and isolated. Something inside never let me get that far. I did a lot of praying and asked for signs to show me what I was supposed to be doing. I was 39.

After the break-up, I had an epiphany moment. I discovered he was a narcissist while researching things he had said were wrong with me and I had believed him. I considered this my first sign from God that I knew who I was. I wasn’t what I had been for the past 6 years. The beauty in that whole emotionally toxic ugly struggle is that here; I found out I was an empath. Narcissists prey on my type and suddenly everything made sense and healing was seeming possible. Everything clicked within me and I began to have constant thoughts about how to help others that were in toxic situations. My childhood deja-vu moments made sense now. Raised in church with a passionate Pentecostal mother and a Baptist raised father, the gift of being an intuitive empath would be called the gift of discernment of spirits. I started to realize that religion and all it’s many names were very similar. That it might just be man, operating in self and ego that has added to, taken from, and changed words of spiritual writings to fit into various religion’s oppinions. Many egos have edited spiritual writings over time. I always felt like, at the core, the message of God is still there; in similar universal truths that tie them all together . I was raised not to waste Godly benefits and so I vowed to follow my intuitions from now on and be conscious of my gift. With each time I followed it, my intuition got stronger and sharper. I was committed to continued personal growth and soul work to heal from the toxicity. I was also like a sponge studying all I could about my gifts and I was determined to fulfill my purpose and passion for helping others. I began sharing information on emotional abuse and the magnetic pull between the narcissist and the empath; not caring that I was annoying some family and friends by being so transparent. However, learning I was an empath changed my life. It helped me see that not all those feelings I had in the toxic relationship were my own. I was feeling his stuff to, absorbing it. It was very empowering to learn myself. Just saw this on Amazon: Audible Membership http://amzn.to/2G3WKRp via @amazonLoving this! Book lovers, you know where the best online selection is. Right now you can sign up for Amazon audible and get to free books with the purchase. Check it out! Personal growth and self-development reads can be a very important part of your growth process if you are feeding your head with the right content; positive and empowering, of course.

At 40 I took a birthday road trip to Colorado with the girls. We had time in nature, time to talk and it was very peaceful. I dreaded getting back to my job. When I returned I did notice headaches and light sensitivity and tension in the base of the neck. I wondered why I suddenly hated my job, everyone around me seemed fake at work and everywhere else. I wanted to get away from everything that didn’t bring a peaceful vibe with it.

This is where my awakening began. I was 40 and feeling like I might be menopausal or about to have a mid life crisis situation; something was off. I had several more signs before I discovered that the universe was here to gently shake me awake. This is really where I feel like I was beginning to awaken.

Here are just some of what I experienced as my journey began.

1. 🌻headaches and sensitivity to light

2. 🌻tension at the back of the neck

3. 🌻Stronger intuition

4. 🌻Current relationships changed or ended

5. 🌻Could no longer pretend to like or ignore people being false with me.

6. 🌻Annoyed by most people and petty conflicts. Almost everything seemed petty and unimportant. 🌻No time for drama

7. 🌻Intense and near constant craving to be in nature

8. 🌻Intense urge to create: I wrote, painted, made jewelry and started a blog

9. 🌻Dark night of the soul phase in which I desired to be alone, no contact and face my demons and dark side. Taking inventory of what wrongs needed to be made right

10. 🌻Soul tribe began forming. I met new people with me energy that I learned from. Several old friends from the past returned to my life to teach me something.

11. 🌻Unhappy with career and no desire to fulfill my purpose

12. 🌻Change in sleep patterns and needed less sleep. 🌻Changes in family relationships

13. 🌻synchronicity signs

14. 🌻strong focus on personal growth and knowing self

15.🌻Shedding of ego and the experience of strong emotions coming to the surface

16. 🌻desire to kick bad habits and bad relationships

17. 🌻no judgment and indifferent to those judging me

18. 🌻People annoyed by my growth and change

19. 🌻Desire to move. Seeking change

20. 🌻Brain fog

THE FIRST SIGNS WERE HEADACHES AND LIGHT SENSITIVITY AND LOOKING BACK I WAS STILL IN THE DENIAL STAGE UNAWARE THAT THE UNIVERSE WAS ABOUT TO ROCK MY WORLD WITH WAY MORE! IT CAME TO ME SO QUICKLY AND ABRUPTLY THAT I STARTED RESEARCHING ON MY OWN. THERE WERE SO MANY SUDDEN CHANGES THAT I WANTED AND NEEDED. IT WAS AS IF I COULDN’T KEEP UP AND PROCESS THEM ALL OR GET THINGS DONE FAST ENOUGH FOR THE NEXT ONE. THE UNIVERSE AND GOD JUST STARTED MAKING CHANGES FOR ME; MY CAREER, MOVING AND DISCOVERING MY PURPOSE FOR EXAMPLE. ONCE I EMBRACED MY PURPOSE AND STARTED WAKING UP, MIRACLES BEGAN TO HAPPEN. I’M AUTHENTIC TO MY JOURNEY, MY PURPOSE AND MYSELF, ABOVE ALL. I HAVE LEARNED THAT WE ALL HAVE GOD-WITHIN, THAT INNER STRENGTH, THAT VOICE TO GUIDE US.

My blog is dedicated to suicide prevention and advocating for victims of emotional abuse . I was willing to look like a fool to anyone on my friends list because I felt if my story could help one person get away from toxic emotional abuse, it would be worth it. I also knew blogging would help me hold myself accountable to the healing and personal growth process and it has. I’ve always wanted to help others. Learning who I was and awakening to my soul purpose has confirmed that’s why I’m here, to help. In perfect synchronicity, everything I’ve done in my life prior has prepared me for this. That is what amazes me most. Even when I was asleep God and the universe were quietly preparing and training me for purpose; including the pain. I plan to start a non profit resource center for victims of emotional abuse or those in crisis and to spread awareness for suicide prevention.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for letting me share my story with you. When my experience was in full force I was thankful to hear about other people and their stories of awakening. I hope this touches someone somewhere.

Lastly, in true wildflower fashion, I haven’t done things the way most people would. After facing several struggles alone, at age 41 I now celebrate that I am not most people. This journey helped me shed who I was not and awaken to my purpose and who I am. It was in me all along, I just had to declutter and learn some crucial lessons before I was ready for it. It has been the most pivotal experience of my life. I like who I am. Im proud of how far I’ve come. Most importantly, I’m living consciously; I am awake and finally living life instead of just going through the motions. If you feel like you may be experiencing your awakening I hope you embrace it, honoring your very own God-within. Don’t forget to check out the list of personal growth resources at amazon! Books, audio, music and video! In fact, the Audible Membership http://amzn.to/2G3WKRp is a great deal for Book lovers, you know where the best online selection is. Right now you can sign up for Amazon audible and get to free books with the purchase. Check it out!

#theintuitivewildflower

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