I hate how people talk about testosterone and transmascs. Even if someone slightly hints they don't really want one of the changes (like hair loss or something) someone's gotta bring up "You can't pick and choose the changes! A real transmasc wouldn't be saying this. You know T isn't going to turn you into an UWU anime boy, right?"

Trans women do not oppress you.

Correct :) I also don’t oppress trans women by being transmasculine. Hope this helps!

it kills me how much people love to speculate on the trans male experience. transphobes and even other trans people will conjure up ideas of what it must be like for us to live, how hormones affect us, and especially what society treats us like. they love to tell us how we live our lives; strawman after strawman about fictional trans men who started hormones and became "evil and ugly", completely fabricated stories about about how every trans man they know suddenly "gained male privilege" and never deal with misogyny or transandrophobia.

people who tell you how your transmasculine experience will go have no idea what they are talking about. even if they sound confident, they are not correct- each and every transmasculine person has a different experience in life- we do not automatically gain the societal privilege of cishet white men once we decide to socially transition. they cannot see what your future holds. you don't deserve to have someone telling you how you will experience your own life, it is yours, you are allowed to live your truth, pave your own way and prove that we have varied lives that transcend what transphobes think the trans male experience is.

“Focusing on fixing sexism instead of worrying about transandrophobia is going to benefit trans men more. Also, worrying about transandrophobia instead of sexism is like discarding women and instead trying to put trans men into male privilege to fix the problem instead of fixing sexism.”

I mean.

First of all, sure, fighting sexism will help many people. Absolutely. Cis women. Trans women. Trans men.

But would you tell a trans woman to stop fighting transmisogyny because it’s only helping her and other trans women? Would you tell her that fighting for transmisogyny is counterproductive and just putting trans women in a better position instead of fixing sexism? I sure hope not! Typically people who think that way are radfems. But it’s what you’re doing to trans men in conversations about transandrophobia right now, so I’ve gotta point this out.

And also, fixing sexism doesn’t magically fix transmisogyny or transandrophobia. Discarding either conversation to “just focus on sexism” will not be beneficial overall. Just a couple quick examples: even in places where abortion is fully legal trans men will still struggle to access it, even in places where cis women have full access to a space trans women will still struggle to access it.

We don’t need to have only one conversation. Conversations about sexism, transmisogyny, and transandrophobia have to exist in tandem with one another.

And I’m definitely bringing this back around to the fact that discarding other conversations to focus on “the only actual real problem” when that “only actual real problem” is sexism also rings a lot of radfem alarm bells in my head.

i don't think transandrophobia is real but - *proceeds to talk about the specific issues and discrimination trans men face as an intersection of their transness and gender which is exactly what transandrophobia is*

Seriously y'all are either the epitome of the piss poor reading comprehension meme or just believing the first post about a thing you read, and NEITHER of those are a good look

It's insane how actually talking about the real transphobic violence that trans men face will get people in this Webbed Site to call you transphobic. None of you live in the real fucking world. None of you have ever talked to trans people. Jesus Christ, leave transmascs and trans men alone.

Some people will really see butch lesbians getting sexualized to all hell and go oh everyone loves their masculinity

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

idk y’all should treat fat men better. and i don’t mean mildly chubby guys i mean honest-to-god love-handles-and-double-chins fat guys. stop calling them shit like discord mods or gross weebs or nasty creeps or neckbeards or that they’re stinky or sweaty or beer bellied or whatever else. fatphobia isn’t cute, even repackaged in a neat little box of “ew men”

It's like people forget (or just don't care) that physical transition can be really taxing on the body, and for some people, it just isn't an option. 

Even binding safely is expected to lead to back pain and breathing problems. Medical transition isn't just getting injected with T juice and a seamless, easy removal of the breasts and then looking like a respectable cis-passing trans person. 

"Miniskirt, makeup, but he/him" is a derogatory stereotype of young transmascs who wear what is considered feminine clothing and makeup. It's just so incredibly baffling to me that people will claim to not be transphobic and then act like transmascs need the bodies of cis-men to be able to wear the clothes they want.

Men please DO interact!! I’m just some non-binary lesbian but I want my blog to be a safe space where you won’t be treated poorly for your identity. It’s not your responsibility to self-flagellate or otherwise hate yourself for the crime of being born as or becoming* a man. Gendered expectations are sexist; you have no obligation to be strong, to sacrifice yourself to protect others, to show no emotion, or any other of the standards people may try to force on you.

Of course everyone should use their privilege to uplift those less privileged than them, but people shouldn’t assume you’re exclusively privileged due to your gender or ignore the way it intersects with other identities of yours. I love you disabled men, men of color, trans men, intersex men, queer men, and everyone else. I will include you in my feminism always and forever. Please surround yourselves with people who care about you.

hey look at this

Okay now we can get to the original post

😐

"it's easy for trans men to pass, every trans man i know passes super easily"

the cis maternal urge to treat your trans son’s body like an extension of your own body, and to react to said trans son’s physical transition as if they might as well have just started hacking away at your own body with a rusty axe, really is something else.

my mom hasn’t seen my chest post-op at all because the idea of it is so awful to her that the one time we took my bandages off with her present, she ran across the hotel room to hide from it and started crying to my brother about it (yes, with actual tears). she drove an hour and a half with us at 5:30am to my post-op just to sit in the waiting room because she refused to come in and see me after the surgeon took the bandages off. my dad has been the only one helping me with recovery things like changing bandages and monitoring healing because she still won’t look at my chest.

and she says that’s because she loves me and cares about me. love is when you treat the body your child can finally live in comfortably like it’s your worst nightmare. apparently.

idk man i think that if you can read dozens and dozens of trans men talking about how their support systems abandoned them when they started getting too masculine on T or had top surgery or whatever, and queer spaces started treating them like threats or potential predators, and you find these stories going back to the 90s or even earlier, and you read all of that and come away thinking that there’s nothing wrong with how progressive communities treat men, you are just fundamentally beyond help dude. you don’t see us as people

I know we've talked about all the ways, "I hate all men EXCEPT trans men", is generally painting us not reeaallllyyy men which is fucked up, but it's also a nerve wracking position to find yourself in. Yes, I am incredibly hostile to people very much like you, but you're my exception. Who knows what will cause me to take that Exception card away from you, and when. Are you really not the enemy? Are you? Are you? Haha just checking no pressure do as I say.

In some ways, I can really understand wanting men who are safer and more understanding but like, this is scary to be on the other end of. It's controlling and you have power over me. I'm literally transgender.