#Socialising actually physically hurts
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Is this part of my autism or am I just an asshole
ok so basically, there's this really nice girl in my class, she keeps trying to talk me me (guess she wants to be my friend) but I don't like her. I go to a school that isn't mainstream so we get a lot of people with autism, ADHD, ect. You'd think this would make this easier to make friends, right? No. For some reason I'm a very picky person with who I talk to, I need someone who's smarter than me or gets my humour or something. This girl, she just talks, and talks and doesn't get the hint when I try to politely shoo her away. I'll be drawing, she will comment on it and if I respond even with a thanks, she takes it as an invitation to pull her chair over and sit and draw with me. Constantly asking "should I do this?" "How do I draw this part" " what do you think" every 2 minutes. It annoys me because 1, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I can't just tell her to go away, and 2 , I HATE socialising, even with my friends I find talking hard (irl, at least)
Getting too long but, is this normal? Am I a bad person for not liking this person who wants to be my friend, who's really nice and shares all my interests? Aren't you supposed to like people who are just like you? We are almost exactly the same yet I can't stand her. Maybe this is what it's like for other people who talk to me. I don't know.
Edit: a part I forgot to mention was that she has anger issues and gets annoyed pretty easily. When she's mad she just starts yelling and stuff, if I accidentally offend her by telling her I don't want to be her friend I'd be the centre of attention as the person she'd yelling at, which would probably give me a panic attack.
Since the start of this year I've become a very VERY shy person. If you were to ask anyone in my class or any teachers (from my class only) about me theyed probably shrug and say "who?" Or, "oh. The one that draws all the time" which is super odd because basically my whole life I've been bullied and to combat that I became a very loud and outspoken perdon. I still had social anxiety but with my friends I was pretty much obnoxiously confident. I've gone from being told to "shut up!" And "stop talking to loud" to "speak up" and "talk a bit louder nobody can hear you." So the switch is pretty sudden, and attention, ANY attention, a teacher saying hi to me in class, someone walking past and even glancing at me, sets me into panic.
So I can't tell this girl to simply go away, even if I wasn't scared of being mean.
Also, rereading this post I'd like to clarify that I asked if this was autism because of my extremely low social battery, people pleasing behaviour, ect. And I asked if im an asshole because you're SUPPOSED to get along with people who are the same as you. With people who have similar interests or struggles but I HATE being around those people. I hate being around people who remind me of myself. My whole life I've been friends with the confident, loud and unapologetic people. But the more I think, the more my brain tells me "you just don't like them because they have autism, and that annoys you" (IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC)
This is quickly turning into a long ramble session rather than an explanation. So, feel free to just ignore this wall of text lmao.
#autistic things#autism#actually autistic#pls help#I don't wanna be a bad person#But I can only handle so much#Socialising actually physically hurts#What to you mean I have to talk to people
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PICK A CARD: FACTS AND SECRETS OF YOUR GREATEST LOVE.
⠀⠀⠀꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⌷ .⠀⠀d i s c l a i m e r⠀⠀✿𝆬
[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉 ✧ ] any events and other things in your life are cannot be accurately predict by me and the tarot cards, do take a note that we are 'still' the creator of our 'future'- what you 'do' now will be the outcome of your future life and this could be either a good or bad, if your doing good and you are good to others expect the bright future ahead but in reverse you might expect the worst.
[ ℰ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] to pick a pile, firstly take a good deep breath, second focus on every pile in the photo provided below { pile one, pile two, pile three }, and lastly scroll more down to reveal your reading. if you cannot still pick up any of the pile, do remember the sequence of what is written in the first sentence.
ꕀ ׅ࣪ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ 𝓅𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝒹 ; facts and secrets of your ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ
[ 𝒜𝓇𝓉ℯ𝓂𝒾𝓈 ✧ ] grammatical errors ahead, if you're a perfectionist then leave this pac. I do write with so many flaws and I know it's not perfect since my first language isn't english.
-` 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐴𝑅𝑇 ´- ✰︵ — m a s t e r l i s t ´-
: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.
PILE ONE
seems that they likes socialising, sort of life of the party individual and may possibly that they got alot of friends since they value friendships however there's something happened between them and a friend ( probably group of friends ) which lead your person to feel victimize and got anxiety. either this called friend is hating/sabotaging them or bullying them, idk but this one 'friend' and your person isn't in good terms, definitely fear this 'friend' too. hmm, I feel that there's something fishing involve here, I think your person and this 'friend' have something before, like they tried to be in relationship before but actually failed to become stable. this person of yours may/already feel heartbreak and betrayal in their timeframe, even though they got friends they still feel need someone to fill their loneliness. on the other side, they literally got it all and might come from wealthy or wealthy by themselves (if they are a 'man'), high status in life and often in leadership position like in company being it's c.e.o or the boss where they work, actually they got multiple options and choices about their life, like they can get what they like unlike the others. however they tends to daydream and imagine often. also likes luxurious things or materialistic individual they are, they care about the money alot and good at handling it, they literally hate it when someone is late when there's a sched and call time when it be happen, but they are slow to be anger. when you see this person physically and in reality, you'll be having the thought of "they looks tough and cold individual" when it quite faraway from it, they know how to hide their innocence and vulnerability inside by hiding it on their appearance. one thing that keeps me interested with this individual, they willing to give it all if they love someone that's why often they end up feels of being disappointed and just hurting themselves but they know how to heal themselves too. knife and skull symbol might be prominent for this person maybe a tattoo or they like those symbols.
- dm me for personal readings
PILE TWO
tw: die, kill
soulmates connection here.there's two scenario here, first -they know within themselves that they are defensive being but of course they don't wouldn't tell it, if they found themselves in that situation they tends to walk away and leave that situation or where they are now, they want to leave and scape to that place but they don't know how, all they can do now is to be patient most of the time. and might be conservative in everything. they also know how to manifest specially to their desires, they believe that action and willingness with manifestation will lead you to a prosperous and secure life, at some point they prefer to work alone like being self employed. might be ailurophiles, they love cats. seems that they are more confident, if they achieve something or if someone is supporting them. they like to offer for people alot whether it's time, money or support from them. negative sides might be forgetful and hot tempered, idk if they are famous since they have alot of supporters maybe quite well known where field or place they are. they do believe success comes from hard work and overcoming obstacles, love how optimistic they are. finally a secret was channeled here, they may don't seem one as physically but they are very sensual individual who knows how to hide it. they do care about the animals specially if this is a cat and the humanity. you can easily may know their true identity by how they act in front of you. for some point, some people here may already know this person or will gonna know this individual this year. dang bruh, I'm shock to this message but this person having thoughts of wanting to die, they want to commit this sin or their anxiety is getting worst day after day, they want to tell it to someone but this person thinks that ' will they understand them even though they will tell it to someone'. s/he got the reason for it, the story behind of why they want to do it but might be afraid that no one will understand them. just a reminder that be observant to people who surround you, look how they behave and think before you outburst words coming from your mouth cause we don't know who suffer, this type of mental illness can kill, no kidding around.
- dm me for personal readings
PILE THREE
this person got powerful aura than the rest of the piles and somewhat seems that this pile is the combination of 1 and 2. they come from a wealthy/stable family/high status or inheritance from old people around their family, that's the reason why they don't suffer much when in comes to finances, this money may came from a masculine energy more likely the father or their grandpa. mostly who pick this pile, your person is more mature in appearance or by mentally or by age. might be working on authority level like the boss or in government and law or higher positions like manager, being team leader etc. for some people who pick this pile, I see that they still studying like maybe in higher grade than yours or simply this person loves to learn and very determine as well dedicated to what they are studying. however they may have fear that someone is more better than them, or they experience anxiety or deep unhappiness which causes to got some sleep paralysis/negativity. on the other hand, I'm seeing that they will overcome this one his/her obstacles. they tends to act hasty or bad mouthing and expressing how bitter they are in life maybe because of what they just experience, or they been/will face betrayal in life. they got big social cycle, alot of people know them and they know alot of people too, possibly that they are famous in their surrounding, however your person really knows who are the true and enemy to them or your person may feels that every people around them are not true and just want them for the money and fame specially if those individuals are his/her friends. they been wishing for healing from what people did to them for a very long period of time, they got solution and want to fly away to rest and ease this pain within themselves. they want some joy in their life and was eager for seeking it. as a addition, I see here that this person got some eagle eye or great observation, like they see it but other people wouldn't. everyone seems to respect this person and they know it, they know they are someone who should be respected too ( seems overbearing for me ). when they talk they are too honest to their words and doesn't care if the someone may feel hurt from it or spilling tea is one of their habit/mannerism. one more thing, they think people around them are ugly ( lol, that's bad ) like they based on physical appearance but of course they will keep it by themselves however if you focus on their eyes you can see the judging looking.
- dm me for personal readings
[ 🤎. ] Hello! Thank You so much for checking out this pac reading, if you ever like it please do follow and reblog for more pac. Let me know what you feel by commenting down below...
© thedivineart — do not plagiarize any of my work, translate or repost it on other social media platform , do remember that this is only my official account where all my pac are posted, if you ever see something like mine from word by word kindly report it to me, thank you<3. theme is included
#pick a card#for you#oracle reading#divination#witchblr#tarot witch#tarot#tarotblr#pick a pile reading#tarot community#pick a card reading#thedivineart#pick a pile#astrology#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick an image#future spouse reading#future spouse#tarot card reading#psychictarot#psychic readings#psychic reading#tarot reading#tarot cards#pac tarot#pac reading#tarot pac#intuitive tarot reading#intuition
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Oh no the merformers thing is so interesting to me too... I do be clogging your inbox <:3
Sides and Sunny are like fighting/betta fish to me. Beautiful vibrant and striking colours, but highly aggressive and territorial. They have different tail types tho, Sideswipe maybe a crowntail or plakat, Sunstreaker is maybe a halfmoon
Mers like them are illegally held for their looks and fighting rings. They fetch a hefty sum at auctions
I think the twins are exchanged through many hands. Their physical conditions fluctuate wildly between seasons too. When they fight, they are well fed, but constantly injured, fins torn, plating cracked. On off seasons they are neglected, left to waste away and their colours fade. When the time comes for them to be sold, that is when they are treated best. They have to be healthy and properly nutritoined so their colours are as vibrant as can be.
All of this means they learn to trust no one. No one really cares for them. Just because someone is kind doesn't mean they will be tomorrow. Always bite the hand that feeds you, for tomorrow that hand will also literally throw you to the sharks
When the fighting ring they are held at is finally raided, obviously they don't know what happened. There's noise. There's shouting. Screaming. Energon is spilt. And then they are captured. Separated.
All the mers that are rescued and brought to a facility are kept in separate tanks obviously. They are all in various states of injury and sickness. They need to be quarantined and specially cared for. They are also understandably violent and are not fit for socialisation.
So when the twins wake up and can't find each other they go ballistic
Sideswipe bangs on the glass with his servos, shrieking and roaring at the bot that stands before him, just watching him. The black and white mech, annoyingly, doesn't even flinch. His appendages (fins?) on his back twitch at every bang on the glass, but there is no reaction otherwise. The mech seems to write something on a datapad and walks away, Sideswipe still threatening him from behind the glass.
Sunstreaker bares his long fangs and drags his claws along his glass. He's usually so careful about his beautiful claws, keeping them sharp and lustrous despite using them to tear his foes to shreds. But not right now. Now he pays no heed to his talons chipping on the hard glass as he snarls at the mech observing him. Black and white. Cold optics. Not a word from him when he walked over, and not a word as he leaves. Sunny doesn't care who that mech is but he wants to know what they did to his brother
Prowl is not quite a caretaker. He doesn't physically care for these rescued mers. But he coordinates. He oversees their care and watches them. He notes the health and behaviour of each mer and instructs their care. He notes the new red and yellow mers likely require sedatives so they do not hurt themselves. It's always a shame to see the states of the rescued mers that are brought in. But he's used to it now, it no longer tugs painfully at his spark to see them like this.
I don't actually know where this is going gjdhshd I just got carried away with the idea of it tbh. But eventually Prowl will notice something is not right with these two. As the other mers start to recover, these two do not. They remain violent, angry. No one is able to perform any physical checks on them without sedation. The way they throw themselves at the glass is hurting them. Prowl is the only one with senses keen enough to pick up on the way their fins twitch at every sound, the way their optics are always darting, but not in fear or paranoia. The way they seem to be looking for something rather than being driven by pure rage.
He knows something is missing from their tanks, but no one is able to figure out what since no one can even get near. One night, once he's clocked out, he's foolish enough to approach one of the tanks from above. No one is allowed up there, and for good reason. But maybe there is something he missed. He has seen everything there is to see from the outside, from the cameras, they must be missing something- And that's when a claw-tipped servo digs into his ankle and drags him into the water
He struggles and kicks and only barely makes it out with his spark. He's fished out of the water by other staff that thankfully had not left. A long and deep gash from the red mers claws stretches all the way from his optic, across his faceplate, and down his front. A chunk of his doorwing is bitten off
He only returns to the facility a few days later (much to the chagrin of literally everyone telling him to rest). He's no longer leaking energon, but not enough time has passed for him to be properly repaired. The painful claw marks and missing plating are still there. And he finally gets a different response from the yellow mer when it sees him
Sunstreaker recognises that attack pattern. The marks left behind from bites and scratches like that. His brother is alive
oh god this is amazing. i love all of this. normally i'd wait until i know what to say but then i'd just keep this ask forever.
i love the thought of Sunstreaker and Sideswipe not recovering at all, constantly on edge and aggressive and unresponsive to any of the research staff or other mers, constantly self-destructing against the glass of the tank, lashing out on the staff even though they know they'll be prodded and sedated.
when Prowl brings the claws from Sideswipe's attack to Sunstreaker, everything changes. The mer stops scratching at the glass and just... watches him, following around as Prowl walks, twisting his tail because he needs him to tell him where his brother was taken. Perhaps he curses and hits the glass a couple times, knowing the bot can't hear him and wouldn't have been able to understand him either, but he has to drag the information out of him somehow.
oh lord, i wonder how long it takes the staff to find out that they've separated co-dependent twins.
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Hey so... I know this may sound weird... but could I request the BAU team learning that one of their younger teammembers (Reader) is struggling with severe depression? Like maybe one night Reader stays behind at the office to "work on papers" but instead he uses the time alone to sulk and cry to himself because he's too emotionally exhausted to even stand up and go home. Maybe Derek or Hotch go back to the office because he forgot something and find Reader just... crying and screaming (cause I wanna scream when I'm extremely hurt)
I understand if you're not comfortable with this type of request. No need to feel obligated to do this
I don't mind doing these sorts of requests at all, I find it comforting and therapeutic aha. Feel free to send me as many of these as you like. Also Aaron and reader are not in a romantic relationship in the fic, just platonic or familial aha
Warnings: depression, maybe self harm(?) - reader punches something multiple times, also this might be cringe idk, oh talks of medication and antidepressants
Word count: 990
The case was tough, all cases were tough - you worked for the BAU, of course all the cases were tough. But, surprisingly, this wasn't exactly what was bothering you. You couldn't actually pinpoint what it was, but there was a heavy feeling on your chest for the last few days, growing slowly. Expanding. Getting heavier. You had grown used to the lump in the back of your throat, but now you were struggling. The tears were ready to fall, already burning at the back of your eyes, begging to be let free after being held back for three days.
"What's your plans for the night?" Morgan turns to you, wiggling his eyebrows.
You force a smile and a laugh, unsure if it actually reaches your eyes. "Not much. I need to stay here, finish this report. I'm far too behind and I don't want Hotch on my ass,"
This wasn't actually the truth. You were slightly behind, yes. But that wasn't why you were staying behind. You felt too exhausted to move, a different exhausted to being physically tired. You were mentally tired, everything took so much effort all you wanted to do was curl into a ball and watch the world pass by. You wanted to lay in bed and sleep, to do nothing.
Morgan nods in understanding, he knew what it was like to behind on paperwork. "Been there, done that, Kid," He chuckles. "Good luck."
"Don't stay too late," JJ says, "And don't forget to get something to eat." You smile, this time it's not fake. You were only a year younger than Spencer, but apparently it caused the rest of the team to see you as the baby of the team.
"I won't," You reply, "Now, shoo, go home!" You just wanted to be on your own. You couldn't deal with socialising right now, the idea of it too exhausting.
And the team, one by one, leave the bullpen. JJ to her family, Emily to her cat, Garcia, Rossi, Morgan, Reid. And then you're alone. It takes a moment to register this. Alone, free to finally let it out.
You sigh, letting your head fall to the desk with a soft thud. Everyone was gone, it was just you. The emotions flooded back to the surface and before you know it, the tears are rolling and you are trying to stiffle your sobs. Hiccups echo loudly through the bullpen and you can't help but be relieved it's just you.
"Come on, (Y/N)," You growl to yourself, "Get a fucking grip."
You feel your emotions double, and you don't know what to do with yourself. You roughly swipe the tears away from your cheeks as you sniff. Your emotions in your throat, desperate to escape.
You're not sure what you're doing until your fist hits the desk and an ache spreads through your knuckles. But it distracts you. So you do it again. And again.
A noise escapes the back of your throat, filled with pain and anguish. Yet the source of this anguish is still unknown. You still don't know what exactly it was that caused this. But the sound helps. You cut yourself off with a sob, covering your face with your now bruised hands.
"(Y/N)?" Hotch. Fuck. "Are you alright?"
You drag your hands over your face and you straighten yourself in your chair. "Of course," You lie with ease, "I'm fine,"
You hear Hotch sigh deeply behind you. You watch out of the corner of your eyes as Hotch grabs a chair from the desk next to you, pushing it so it's closer and sits on it.
"I get it if you don't want to talk to me, but I'm here if you need to. I can just keep you company if you'd like." He says, a minute of silence passes between the two of you before he starts talking again. "Jack's at a friend's house for the night, it's his first sleepover and he was so excited this morning he could barely sit still long enough to eat his breakfast."
You don't reply, choosing to focus on a spot directly in front of you, trying to force your feelings and tears to subside.
"He's tried to sleepover a friend's house before, by the time it was nine, I had to go and pick him up. He said he was scared of the shadow the coats made," Hotch said, you can't help but smile softly. Seeing this, Hotch continues, "He ran into my arms when I got there. But he was adamant this morning that he would be able to do it, he said he was nearly fully grown,"
"Must make you wonder where the time went," You find yourself saying, Hotch turns to you, a small smile painting his lips as he nods.
"Yeah, it really does," There's another pause.
"I don't know," You say, "I don't know what's wrong. But everything's... difficult. I- My medications weren't working, they're transferring me to a different kind but it can take a few weeks to work. Apparently this is what I'm like with low doses of medication,"
"Our bodies take time to adjust." Hotch said with a small shrug, "When they switched me from Prozac, it took me a few weeks to feel relatively normal."
You gape at him. Did he just casually tell you that he was also on antidepressants?
"You're looking at me like I've grown another head," Aaron said.
"Sorry," You reply sheepishly. "I just wasn't expecting you to be on antidepressants,"
Aaron gives you a look of understanding, "That's okay," He said, "Come on. Let's go back to mine, we can put on a show and just eat ice cream, I don't want you to be alone right now,"
You pause, pondering for a moment before nodding, grabbing your bag as you both stood up. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that Hotch was here after all.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x male reader#depression self harm#medication talk#medication#male reader#x male reader#spencer reid x reader#reader#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#spencer reid#penelope garcia#jennifer jareau#david rossi#aaron hotchner x male reader#plantonic x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x male reader#hotch x reader#depressed reader
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saw some more dream in the orb angst on my dash, and now i'm thinking of overture again
like. first of all - it gets a lot worse! because overture directly precedes the main story, so dream gets imprisoned twice in the span of about three days (at least the first time was relatively quick)
but second - he gets imprisoned in a black hole, by some sentient stars who want him dead but know if they actually kill him he'll just reincarnate, whereas this way he's out of the way forever
and i feel like this page says so much about how he'd react to burgess' trap, too
fanfic often focuses on the physical pain of that space - it's cramped, it's cold, there's spikes, he can't breathe, etc. and that's definitely there, he definitely feels it, but it's layer one of this spiral
no, what hurts a lot more, is being cut off from other people
and of course it does! dream may be kind of a loner when it comes to actually socialising, he can be sullen and moody and all of that, but he's never actually alone. he can't be, he's literally made out of everyone's subconscious, every thought anyone's ever had is passing through him at all times. that's his purpose, to manage and direct all that - i'd say it's second nature but i think in this case it actually qualifies as first nature. he may not always notice it or be conscious of it, he has the library so he can file that stuff away, but for most of his life he has had every single living mind in his head, constantly talking and thinking and dreaming
until now. the combination of the sphere and binding circle burgess set up is designed to keep dream's physical form in that basement, and cut him off from anything that exists outside of it. cut him off even from the people guarding him. both of these prisons meant that, for the first time ever, dream didn't have all that background noise that makes up who he is. it should be physically impossible for him to be alone, by his very nature if he's alone he's not really dream of the endless anymore
but both these prisons managed it
no wonder that's more overwhelming than physical pain, no wonder he believes he's going to die here, it's like you've torn out all his senses and a good half of his brain along with them with him still awake and conscious to process that happening
the black hole looked like nothing, it was made of nothing, so at least that's only jarring in how absent it is. but what must the world have looked like from inside that sphere, when all of the ways you normally process the world have been torn from you? do you even see what people look like physically, or do they appear to you as collections of stories and thoughts and hopes? and what, then, must it feel like, when now you can only see the physical. does anyone here even register as a person?
how alien must the world have looked? and how loud was that silence?
#of course then his older brother frees him from the black hole and he immediately goes i was fiiiiiiine i didn't need your heeelllppp#okay dream 'this place will prove my end' endless you definitely had this one handled#sandman comic spoilers#dream of the endless#mine#meta#overture#the sandman
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just rambling abt Ripper cuz its my blog and i can do whatever the hell i like
So yeah!
Just gonna start rambling about Ripper here cause i have some thoughts on him as a character and how hes seen by others within the show and in the fandom. Ill just-
Ill start with the fact that he's very clearly affected by the way he was treated as a child, through my interpretation of his character at least, it seems to me he had very neglectful family by the way he speaks whenever he mentions them. (Like his comments of him and his brothers being being dropped as kids, or how his "mother was right about babies- they ruin everything!!" Throughout season 1).
I feel this can also be seen with the way he's trying (and failing) so hard to impress others? Like all the time. Yet lacks the social awareness/understanding/empathy to realise that his actions make others uncomfortable or aren't the right thing to do (like thinking that showing off his muscles will make girls like him, or using Priya as a shield, or leaving Zee behind when he pretended to be a bird and failing to see it as an issue)
So like everyone clearly and understandably dislikes him for this.
He doesn't register how what he does is wrong. And when he does see everyone mad at him he suddenly realises that *something* hes done is wrong and tries making himself look better, cause he still want others to validate him or at least notice him in some way.
Again, that could be chalked up to his shitty parenting. Didn't teach him how to behave, he went for the ways in which he could get attention to make up for the attention he didn't get at home, all classmates hate him, shit at socialising, boom!
[[Also when it comes to his farts n stuff, yeah. I get why people could dislike him for it- but also- its total drama?? There are excessive fart "jokes" like all the time what where you expecting 😭 and its not rare for the writers to latch the "jokes" onto a specific character.]]
I actually headcanon that he has an undiagnosed intestinal/Bowel disorder of some kind (Like IBS for example) and his mother/father told him his farts were "his talent" (sarcastically, which he didn't pick up cause he has the brain capacity of a banana) and took it reaaally to heart and latching hard to it due to his parents usual neglect.
On a side note, ive seen a lot of people make a lot of jokes that hes a misogynist, homophobe, ect ect. Personally while i get they are jokes, i don't really see it.
He's never actually hateful towards anyone, he makes fun of people, i interpret as his sense of humour (calling Millie and Damien Nerds), or how he hurt Priya/Zee. But hes not really... A bully to anyone necessarily?? Like he doesn't make fun, physically or verbally abuse or repeatedly bother someone Or even be hateful towards others at all?? In fact the others hate Ripper more (using his name as an insult to Millie), than Ripper hates any of them.
Like Ripper is low-key constantly offering help and ideas ... Even if a bit unethical, gross or outright stupid. But hes ALWAYS trying to push the teams forward??
I think he just doesn't understand empathy and only understands others actions if they would act the same way he would or if its something that is noticeable visually (Like the episode in S2 where they had to cross those would you rather questions!)
And no hes not a homophobe he literally doesn't care and even asks Bowie for Dating advice 😭😭I hate the Fanon HCs that he wants to say a slur or smth
#If Ripper would say a slur it'd be like a the R word or the s-zz word cause he had been called those by ppl and didn't think they were bad#tdi ripper#total drama reboot#total drama ripper#td ripper#total drama 2023#Tdi.txt
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You know one thing I wanted to touch upon is how among all Weasleys and yes ALL of them, Percy Weasley is the academic kid and him speicifically being singled out hurts.
Oh you can argue Bill is smart and bla blah whatever, he's cool sooo.
But Percy?
He likes writing reports and being in charge. He likes to talk and is passionate about stuff other ppl find boring. He's stubborn and prideful and has a desk job and is unathletic.
AND I CAN RELATE TO THAT.
Like yes maybe not all, I'm still anxious and hate public speaking and socialising but I am similar to Percy in a way.
So when JK decided to make him the 'Bad Weasley' it hurts me because I saw me in him. I really did.
And also the lost potential?
Having someone be intelligent is treated as a damn sin in the HP books! Hermione is excluded because of it and is also the only exception because everyone else who is smart is treated like f*cking shit in the books!
(AND NO dumbledore is not smart, screw him)
Percy, Cho, Cedric, Padma all these characters, one thing I can say they have in common is their intelligence and book smart ( doubtful ab Cedric but whatever)
And Percy had so much potential to be someone in the war who did the "actual" saving, no maybe not fight physically with Deatheaters but instead save the Muggleborns from being unjustly killed for existing.
Fight Deatheaters or Save Innocents? Which is more important- you decide.
AND IT'S NOT DIFFICULT TO INCORPORATE PERCY DOING THIS! There's already this scene of the trio in the Ministry in the 7th book, just add something like Percy giving one of the disguised 3 some document of Muggleborns, it would make Ron re-think what he thought of his brother, HELL it would make book 7 so much more memorable and suprise the audience
BUTTTT NOOOOOOO, Hp books just want to drill the same point -
Academia bad, Sport and stupid fighting good
#percy weasley#percy weasley centric#the lost potential#spy percy#we could have had it all#can media stop treating booksmart and academics being bad?#why is wanting knowledge ALWAYS treated as being bad in so many shows like cmonnnnn
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my red dwarf opinion of all time is I full heartedly believe Rimmer could be 200% worse. like yeah he’s a sopping wet loser already but man he could be so so much worse (something something it’s because his drive for power and control isn’t born of any legit malicious intent, but instead an internalized need to be, at minimum, perceived in general and, at maximum, be loved for himself [even if that ‘self’ is a carefully constructed persona and lacks any of his rimmer-ism] something something)
oh yeah anon you're 100% correct! i often dunk on rimmer for being an asshole, and he absolutely IS an asshole, but i don't think he rlly has bad intentions or actively wants to hurt ppl. i agree that his desire for power is more about being loved than anything else. i don't think he'd even know what to do if he WAS put in charge of something important lol. i suspect he would probably just panic a bit once he realised he had to actually advise and care for ppl tbh. i think initially he'd enjoy lording it over ppl but once ppl started criticising him or he had to make important decisions i'd imagine he'd have a breakdown lmao
i mean in siliconia it's revealed that he actively enjoys being a "mindless" servant bc he doesn't have to worry abt disappointing ppl anymore........ i think that any kind of pressure would make him crumble. it's clear that it isn't rlly power that he wants, it's adoration that he wants, just like you said. i mean, lister even calls him out on it in the better than life book lol.
rimmer hasn't received any honest unconditional love from... anyone ever, as far as i can remember (unless you count nirvannah maybe???). his parents seemed to show some kind of affection, or at least favouritism, to his brothers, specifically bc they were mentally and physically talented. i think he took the lesson from this that ppl/his parents would only ever love him if he could be the person his parents had wanted him to be.
the irony of this is that it's the sheer stubbornness he had abt achieving the goals his parents set for him (like attaining officerhood) that make him so unlikeable and insufferable to the ppl around him. he's uptight and hyperfocused on achievement and avoids hobbies, socialising and relaxing bc he doesn't want anything to get in the way of his goals, and that makes him completely unpalatable. any creativity or sentimentality or gentleness he has was either squashed out of him by his parents or suppressed by himself.
he lives inside this construction of what he thinks a man should be like. but it's not him, and everyone else can tell that, even though he can't. it's the lack of sincerity that makes him unlikeable, when it's a habit he took on BECAUSE he wanted to be loved.
i think it's all subconscious, like if you asked him abt this he'd either be confused or vehemently deny it. but i do believe that at the root of his character there's just... a desire to be loved. he does confess to it himself in "thanks for the memory". it's very clear in ace as well, a man who is clearly generating a persona for himself in the hopes that it'll make ppl love him. like most aspects of red dwarf, rimmer is funny on the surface but deeply painfully tragic if you think abt him for too long.
ANYWAYS SORRY this is basically just a more verbose annoying version of what you said lmao. the point is that i completely agree anon. he's so awful but so pitiful and sad it's hard NOT to love him despite the fact that he frustrates me so much sometimes i wanna pull my hair out lol
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got asked to explain my theory on queer isolation in rural areas so I’m gonna try & keep it short so that won’t make my brain hurt me.
so firstly this is based off my own lived experience as well as just listening to other people over the years, this isn’t me saying I’m right & you should believe me but more of something that could be explored deeper to find out whether it’s true or not, don’t treat this as concrete evidence.
so I can’t speak for other countries but in the english speaking capitalist west everything is a commodity, although rich people’s wealth basically involves them just making up a number, it’s based on material objects (ie. money), & that money exists in physical form in a place on earth (offshore bank accounts, etc.). I’m gonna be focusing on australia because that’s where I live
much like where wealth is hoarded to one person, socialisation is hoarded to specific parts of a country, in my case, sydney and melbourne (& by extension just about every other capital city except for maybe darwin), there’s also some outliers to this (northern rivers, gold coast, newcastle) but primarily it’s the same across the land. in order for these cities to exist to be as large as they are, other areas need to be sparse; I mean that’s just how population works, right? if there’s more people in one place there’s gonna be less in others. but with more people in place a there’s more consumers to sell things to & if there’s less in place b then why bother? there’s no money to be made out of them, just charge them more because there’s less, & this trickles in to just about everything, including clubs, raves, coffee meetups, picnics, orgies, you name it. you have to pay to be part of it & because there’s less of a market it costs exponentially more to bring that sort of stuff out to rural areas, if you’re willing to even try, & that��s even before we even discuss cishet social stigma that permeates here, in fact the stigma is created because no one has access to the actual gatherings themselves but only have access right wing media like sky news.
as the timeline of capitalism continues these markets become more condensed as more & more people are convinced to move just to find social contact, instead of just moving to the city you now have to move to a specific part of the city (a part that hasn’t had its public transport gutted in the previous century) & you have to go to a specific handful of buildings for socialisation, not just wherever you & your friends want, the cops will get mad at you for that. with this condensing the rural areas are left more & more barren. a personal example of this is in my lifetime I remembered bush doofs being a common thing in my area, but as time wore on they slowly got pushed out by cops (& angry middle aged people) until they stopped altogether around 2016. jobs are also more widely available in the city which makes the decision a no brainer for anyone let alone queer people.
but if you thought for a moment about how community even works you’d probably realise that maybe staying to help would be a good idea, but you’d be stuck with your parents, just about every person my age is here because they got dragged along with their parents or their parents gave them a job at their company, no one chooses to live here. why would you? there’s all the sex & drugs you could ever want in the city! why throw all of that away? the parents that moved here have come to do the “settle down” portion of life or as I call it, the “die like a sick dog” part of life. they come here because they want this place to be quiet, or nowadays they just buy a holiday house & leave it empty, if they hear anyone trying to do anything remotely exciting they shut it down. & this is pertaining to rich nimby people who can actually afford to buy houses & “investment properties”, not poor people, the middle class here are people who bought their houses 30 years ago at the very least & the number of those people are dwindling fast. so if you do live here you’re stuck under your parents thumb & all in all this makes a potent cocktail for suicide. you’d like to either leave or at least try & make the town you’re in more livable but it’s not gonna happen as long as the cogs of the capitalist machine keep turning.
to try sum it all up socialisation under capitalism is a sold commodity & because of more people being in one area & less being in another, we are not it’s target audience.
I think that’s all of it, there’s a part I probably forgot to explain but I can’t think of it right now, if anyone has any sources that either prove or disprove this theory please feel free to drop the links.
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Haikyuu captains yandere head cannons(sfw??)
———
Daichii:
The Loving and possessive type of yandere.
When he kidnaps you he rarely ever hurts you unless you run away then he’ll lock you up for a couple days with no socialising and human interaction, yes starving included.
Doesn’t get jealous but isn’t totally chill either, he’ll go give them a talking though.
Guilt trips you if you try and leave, cause yk, he doesn’t wanna lose you
———
Kuroo:
The controlling, mentally abusive yandere
Punishes you by killing all your crushes and close friends (not family, he wants to impress them and be accepted by them)
He loves you, sort of… It’s not lust, but it’s not a healthy connection more like a obsessions.
Wouldn’t put his hands on you in any extreme violent ways, just grabbing you.
Before he kidnapped you he went from being a sweet, funny boy to a rude, jerk that would degrade and bully you.
———
Oikawa:
The Abusive and Jealous kind of Yandere, not the slay type at all 🙄
Not in public but he’ll shove you in a closet when you get home if you upset him and he’ll yelling at you, then he’ll get a bit more physical. Once he’s satisfied with you crying and begging he’ll shove you into the bedroom and cuddle you til you fall asleep, whisper sweet praise in your ears.
Anything can trigger his anger issues especially when you look at other guys or are friends with them, he gets jealous a lot and accuses you of cheating, being a dirty tramp and not loving him anymore.
Kills everyone you love, family, friends, teachers, EVERYONE.
———
Bokuto:
He’s the clingy, jealous, emotionally abusive type.
He clings onto you, demands to know who you were just with, tags along secretly on girls night, watches you all the time. He also has controls on your phone and a tracker.
He gets jealous really easy and accuses you of liking other guys and then he’ll complain that he’s not good enough and will cry, making you feel guilty.
He messes with your head and feelings alot.
He didn’t actually kidnap you, you willing went along… don’t ask me how it happened but it did 🤷♀️
———
Ushijima:
Like all of the above for the others in one, except the emotional ones, he’d never cry in front of you unless it was a last ditch effort.
Words don’t explain how much of a stalker he used to be… even Tendou didn’t know about the personal, scented body pillow he had of you in the cub board. (Wild but he probably would. I’m sorry but if y’all want this sweet man of pure husband material made into a yandere YOU’RE GETTING IT BOI)
He likes when your face is contorted in pain and when you cry
Pretty chill dude when he’s not torturing you though, he’ll put some Disney on and half cuddle you.
———
(Y’all want part two with Futakuchi, Daishou, Terushima and Kita??)
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i feel like i need to write out a full explanation of a particular problem that's been dominating pretty much every aspect of my life lately. i want to be able to refer people to it when i need them to understand my struggles - it's a bit much to explain from fresh every time. it might also be helpful as a point of comparison in the future if things change. my thoughts are under the cut for whoever would like to see them.
it's hard to say how long this has been going, but it definitely feels like a long-term trend, perhaps going back ten years or so in one form or another. i have an absolutely dreadful lack of self-awareness though, so it's something i hadn't really understood was happening beyond a general sense of Things Being Wrong until more recently. i think it's also been getting a lot worse lately.
basically, my whole life i've been extremely easily upset by many things, including things that it doesn't make any sense to be upset by. even uncomplicatedly positive things have always had a chance to bring me to tears, with my mind somehow contorting my emotions in a way that can make experiencing happiness an inexplicably saddening event. this goes back to before i even started school, and i don't really know where it came from.
with my physical health having been in steady decline for a while, along with other aspects of my mental health, and also just some random acts of circumstance, a lot of the things that used to be important and cherished parts of my life have fallen away, and i'm constantly yearning to bring them back. there's also a lot i've learned about myself lately, about things that have never been a part of my life before, but i now know i'd really like them to be.
the trouble is, these two issues combine in a vicious cycle, where i feel bad about not having certain things in my life, so i try to (re)engage with them, but then when i do, i get so overwhelmed with emotion that it's difficult to actually enjoy them. instead i end up just feeling terrible about how unaccustomed i am to having them in my life, and it hurts so much that i sometimes have to disengage. it makes me fearful to even try.
the only things that get spared from this are the things that i'm used to, that are so familiar that i don't really feel strongly about them in the first place. things that stuck with me as ways to occupy my mind during the times i was struggling the most, not out of them being profoundly comforting or important to me, but out them being just enough to distract me without making me Feel Too Much.
so i'm in this cycle where i spend a great deal of time just trying to avoid the agony of my overpowering emotions by hiding in my room doing things that aren't fulfilling to me. it sucks, i know it sucks, and i'd desperately like it to change, but it's just so incredibly difficult to make any such changes, because of how overwhelming it is.
as an example, i know i'd be a lot happier if i got back into making music, but it's a struggle, because doing so reminds me of the pain of having let that go in the first place. heck, i sometimes have a hard time just Listening to music if it was made by someone i strongly relate to as a person (particularly transfem musicians), because that's the sort of thing i should've been doing myself this whole time, and instead i've just got this big fucking void of a life.
it works basically the same for all the other hobbies and interests that i would like to have, or used to have. it applies to socialising in general, and particular forms thereof. it's basically the same reason as why there are a lot of people i used to talk to regularly, who i'd love to be that close with again, but i just can't bring myself to do anything to make that happen. there's also various social anxietes involved, of course, but i really don't think they would be too much of an impediment on their own.
so where do i go from here? obviously i need to Get Over It somehow. i'm profoundly unhappy with my life, and will be until i figure a way out. many parts of my life have gotten tangibly better recently, in terms of other problems having been resolved. but until i overcome this particular vicious cycle, the various sufferings that have been removed haven't had much of anything good to take their place. most of my remaining problems at this point stem from my own mind. the fact that i'm physically disabled scarcely matters when i wouldn't be doing anything with the abilities i lack anyway. i need to figure out how to fix this, and i worry how much of my life could slip away going unlived before i do.
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Do you do ABO verse? or would that be something your interested in?
So, as a general rule I'm not a big fan of ABO. I find a lot of it really reductive. I don't wanna yuck other people's yum, but I also hate the way it perpetuates a binary and reinforces gender stereotypes that I'm not a fan of.
However, all that being said, I've come across some really great ABO fics that play with all that stuff in a really satisfying way. I tried my hand at one a million years ago, but never got very far in it sadly.
I guess part of the problem at least is that, when we're talking about queer men, it would make more sense for two Alphas or two Omegas to be in love, regardless of their secondary sexual characteristics. So generally, I think that's the route I'd like to explore.
With Klive, specifically, I've had a couple of thoughts, NGL. Primarily an Alpha/Alpha or Omega/Omega situation. But I also thought it could be really interesting to explore what might be the reasons a person presents as an Alpha or an Omega. You know, with such radically different pseudo-science explanations/lore floating around, how some suggest that the body undergoes an actual physical transformation at a certain age, and before then has the potential to be either, and therefore outside influences or stressors could impact which way it goes. While it might not be common, one of the factors could have to do with finding your soulmate before either of you have presented. In which case the dynamic you have might inform which of you presents as which.
So Klaus and Five are childhood sweethearts, and everyone just knows Five's going to turn out to be the alpha, and Klaus the omega, just based on their personalities and preferences and physical attributes. Except then Five disappears. Five still becomes an alpha in the apocalypse, but in his absence, I had this idea that maybe Klaus becomes an alpha, as a way of coping. That without Five, his body just wasn't willing to make itself vulnerable in yet another way. Then, Five comes back in his younger body, and is surprised and maybe a little disappointed that Klaus is an alpha too. Except then when he starts to go through the whole presenting a second time, his body responds to the fact that Klaus is his soulmate, so he presents as an omega.
I think it could be a lot of fun to explore the difference in experience from the first time around. How maybe he's uncertain or even upset about it at first, but eventually comes to find that actually? And how alpha/omega isn't this black and white thing, how many of the traits that are associated with one or the other don't actually have anything to do with the secondary sex. Five is still a crazy, feral little psycho if you threaten his family. Klaus is still all hippie, peace and love. But Klaus will fuck up anyone who hurts the people he loves, and Five gets to be soft and enjoy Klaus taking care of him.
IDK. I don't know if I'll ever get around to it, with the long list of fics I'm already actively working on or thinking about. I will say that Klaus in general gives me gender feels, and in my Danger Days AU he has both sets of parts, male and female. And while I often feel like Always the Opposite Gender fics don't work because of how people are socialised, I do think that the Umbrella kids present a unique opportunity, where the circumstances around their upbringing wouldn't have really changed, and the didn't spend enough time around people outside of the manor to get that socialisation, so AAG!Klaus or AAG!Five are also pretty plausible, and in particular I think it could be really fucking cool to see how AAG!Five might do in the real world, after living in the manor and then the apocalypse, and how being treated at all like she's lesser than or incapable might set her off on a murderous frenzy. Because she'd be the exact same Five we know, just different pronouns.
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had an ask about how the final four actually made it there but I accidentally deleted it oops
Lara's ability to fly under the radar carried her to the merge, and her newfound confidence, especially with socialising, carries her most of the way to the finals. That, and her just being good at challenges. Not all of them (gross food challenges are still the bane of her existence) but enough to see her through. On top of this, right from the start she's been taking notes on all her fellow campers, so she can try to better socialise with them and hopefully not embarrass herself. And this of course becomes important later, her having gathered all of this information that can potentially be used against people, or used to frame her for using underhanded tactics.
This sets up a neat little parallel with Lloyd, who's also making sure to keep tabs on everyone, except in a much sneakier, taking-advantage-of-the-people-around-him way. His biggest skill is his observance, noticing little details that elude most people. He's always keeping tabs on the relationships and dynamics at play, figuring out who's in an alliance, who has bad blood with whom, and so on, which he uses to his advantage and tries to exploit wherever he can. And keeping Rod by his side for as long as it suited him definitely didn't hurt his chances. So by the time everyone saw his true nature (and he realised he'd made a horrible mistake), it was too late. He'd already made it to the final 4.
Don't think Rod was just carried by Lloyd this whole time - he has skills of his own. He's athletic, decently strong, and has really good eyesight; kind of like Lloyd, he notices things that others don't. He might not be the smartest, but he's not a bumbling idiot - very important distinction. And being generally well-liked by the cast doesn't hurt too much either. He's kind of like Season 1 DJ before the writers decided to flanderise him and just make him a complete coward to a cartoonishly stupid degree.
Ahem. Anyway. Carmen's similar - a combination of quick thinking, physical skill (she's a lot stronger than she looks), a bit of luck, and just being a nice, likeable person got her to the final three. She probably would have made the finals instead of Lloyd... had she not gotten a little bloodthirsty at a crucial moment. That hurt her chances a little. But it hurt Chris a lot more, lol.
So, that's our final 4!
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One Year
Fandom: Heroes of Olympus
Rating: Gen
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Nico di Angelo, Will Solace
When the aftermath of one war overlaps with the anniversary of another, something has to give.
Day six of @solangeloweek “collab”. This fic was inspired by @burning-moths Solangelo art; thank you for letting me write something to go along with it, moth! I hope you enjoy it! This is pre-relationship, set a few weeks after the end of BOO.
Reminder that there’s now a discord server for all my fics, including this one! If you wanna chat with me or with other readers about stuff I write (or just be social in general), hop on over and say hi!
The date snuck up on Nico. It probably snuck up on most of the rest of the camp, too, the demigods frayed from the almost-war against the Romans, and then the actual war against Gaia, all of them losing track of the days as they struggled through the aftermath of cease-fire, alliances and brutal honesty between the camps. As the only demigod considered “impartial”, having spent next to no time in Camp Half-Blood while still being Greek, yet holding the Ambassador of Pluto title for Camp Jupiter, Nico found himself stretched particularly thin as almost all the meetings demanded his presence some way or another.
Of course, he was also having to fit that in between a certain son of Apollo’s demands that he rest, insistence that he spend three days in the infirmary, and general presence everywhere Nico turned – or a yawning gap in his periphery when he wasn’t there, which was something Nico was spending a lot of time not thinking about – which made everything that bit more fraught.
Ironically, it was the most welcome he’d ever felt at camp. The attention was overwhelming at times, and more than once, Hazel had dug him out of cabin thirteen, reminding him that he wasn’t allowed to shadow travel just yet (his sister had spent far too much time with a certain healer, and to Nico’s horror they had quickly allied against him), and gently nudging him to if not socialise, at least not be a hermit.
Nico wasn’t sure who realised the date first. It might have been one of the Romans, making an offhand comment about Mount Orthys and how it seemed bizarre that they’d had two wars within a year, it might have been one of the Greeks making the same comment, but the mood at Camp Half-Blood took a sudden dive into sombre as it sank in.
The sixteenth of August wasn’t a date that had any real significance to Nico, but it was the first day of the Battle of Manhattan, and the Greek demigods couldn’t forget that date even if they tried. Even if it snuck up on them and ambushed them in the wake of another war.
Nico hadn’t joined the battle until the seventeenth, on the cusp of Percy’s birthday when his father finally caved to his demands that he set aside his differences and fight, and he’d never really known what had happened before his arrival. He’d never expected to know, either, but when he trudged into the infirmary for his obligatory check-up and found Will Solace missing his usual sunshine aura, something didn’t quite settle in his mind.
The son of Apollo had been waning steadily since Gaia’s defeat; Nico had almost never seen him outside of the infirmary, aside from short breaks when Chiron or his siblings kicked him out, or that one memorable occasion when he’d collapsed and sent the entire infirmary into an uproar. Physically, Will didn’t look as bad as he had done at times, but the small smile he dragged onto his face was painfully, transparently, fake, and there was no energy at all in his voice.
“Be right with you.” No Death Boy, Lord of Darkness or any of the other ridiculous nicknames Nico had found headed his way since the battle. Nothing to indicate Will even knew who had stepped in the door, even though his light blue eyes had flickered up from some sort of paperwork when the door had opened.
Something had drained all the life from the demigod, leaving him almost as pale and lacklustre as Nico himself, and it felt wrong. Maybe it was hypocritical of him to complain about someone being withdrawn and antisocial when that was his own default state of being, and realistically he knew he couldn’t expect Will to be chipper all the time, but Nico didn’t like it.
“You look like you should be the one this side of the desk,” he said bluntly, leaning against the desk in question. He was ignored – no quip about how Will was the doctor, or even an attempt at deflection. Just silence as the son of Apollo finished scrawling something down in handwriting that was even less legible than usual before putting his pen down and pushing himself to his feet.
Nico half-expected him to sway on the spot, but Will remained stable even though he moved lethargically, as though his limbs weighed several times what they should and he was pushing through molasses. It might have been more reassuring if Will had fallen; at least then there would have been something obvious that Nico could do something about.
Suspicious but with nothing to latch onto, Nico followed when he was mechanically led into the infirmary and suffered through Will poking and prodding at him in silence. The other demigod wasn’t as warm as usual, not in his demeanour (although he made a solid if pathetic attempt at faking it) and not where his fingers touched Nico’s skin, and Nico felt like he should say something.
He just didn’t know what.
Did he know Will well enough to call him out on whatever he was pretending didn’t exist? Will called him out on things all the time, not always relating to his health, so Nico could probably return the sentiment, but he had no idea what to expect. Will could be stubborn; memories of the son of Apollo dragging himself back to work in the infirmary barely minutes after regaining consciousness despite Chiron and his siblings protesting loudly filled Nico’s mind.
But it didn’t feel right to go along with Will’s façade. Nico’s gut told him something was wrong and a chance sighting of the date scrawled on the paperwork Will was making notes on as he confirmed that Nico was indeed on his way back to a clean bill of health (although he refused to lift the ban on shadow travelling) abruptly reminded him of the upcoming anniversary.
“Okay, Solace,” he said, mouth ahead of his brain – body ahead of his brain, as his hand reached out and wrapped around the other boy’s wrist firmly. “You need a break.”
Lifeless blue eyes met his, devoid of the light Nico had come to associate with him. “I’m fine,” Will said, in a voice that sounded the complete opposite of fine. “My shift isn’t over yet.” The smile that stretched over his face was the least convincing yet, deformed and wobbly in a way that felt a lot like a cry for help, and Nico found himself having to make a decision.
Did he let it go, the way Will was clearly trying to get him to, walk away and leave the problem for someone else to handle – someone who was actually capable of handling whatever was going on – or did he dig his heels in and bulldoze his way through?
Most of his instincts were screaming for him to leave, pointing out that Nico could barely sort himself out, let alone anyone else, and that Will wasn’t asking him for help so he didn’t have to get involved.
The rest of him remembered Will reaching out when Nico refused to accept any hands, pushing past his walls because despite the way he was acting, he’d needed help, and saw the reversed situation in front of him.
Will needed something or someone. Help. Even Nico could see that, and although he was certain he was the worst person for the job, he was there and his feet wouldn’t let him turn around and leave. Nor would his heart.
“No-one needs help right now,” he pointed out, gesturing to the mostly-empty infirmary. No-one in it looked like they needed a doctor’s attention imminently; most of them seemed to be asleep. “Take a break, Solace.”
“I can’t-”
Nico yanked him to his feet and used the element of surprise to drag the other boy into an unoccupied corner of the room, away from anyone else. Will looked like he was on the verge of tears, and Nico once again realised how unqualified he was for dealing with whatever this was.
He soldiered on regardless, remembering stubborn blue eyes on the battlefield, snatching whatever time they could to convince Nico not to leave, even if it meant drawing the wrong sort of attention. If Will could try and bash some sense into him in a warzone, Nico could do it in the serenity of the infirmary.
“You look terrible,” he told him bluntly.
“It’s nothing, Nico,” Will tried to convince him. “Don’t worry about it.”
Nico growled and tightened his grip on Will’s wrist when the son of Apollo tried to walk away. “It’s something,” he insisted. “Talk to me.”
“Don’t,” Will pleaded, his transparent façade cracking even as he visibly tried to hold it together. “Nico, I can’t.” He started shaking, and to Nico’s alarm, his bright eyes grew glassy with unshed tears. “I have to- Let me- I can’t.”
A single tear slipped down his face, and in a moment of blind panic, Nico found himself resorting to the same thing Bianca had done whenever he was unhappy, pushing away the memories of his sister as he yanked Will closer and laced his arms around him tightly.
“You need a break,” he repeated, tightening his grip when Will made a futile attempt at escaping before the fight seemed to drain from him entirely.
Nico was caught off-guard when a face buried itself in his shoulder and shaking arms wrapped around his own back. He was completely blindsided by the sobs as hands balled into fists around the fabric of his t-shirt.
Will clung to him tightly, crying near-silently but intensely, and Nico’s brain panicked as he realised he’d put himself in a situation far too far out of his depth for him to handle. There was no way to escape; shadow travel was still banned and there wasn’t a convenient shadow in reach anyway, and Will’s grip was far too tight to wriggle out of. All Nico could do was follow instincts he didn’t know he even had and hold the crying son of Apollo tightly, hoping it was helping.
At the least, now that Will’s façade was obliterated, he seemed disinterested in releasing Nico.
“I saw them die,” the son of Apollo hiccupped, an eternity later. His voice was thick and wet, and his head stayed buried in Nico’s shoulder. “The bridge… A year ago.”
The words were disjointed, but Nico could piece together the context. He didn’t know exactly what had happened during the Battle of Manhattan before he’d arrived, but he knew some of the broader strokes. The way they’d tried to hold the bridges and tunnels before being forced to retreat.
He’d known, in a detached way, that demigods had died. He’d been the one to perform their funerary rites in the days after Percy’s birthday and Kronos’ defeat. He’d never really known any of those demigods, though, and it was only a year later, with Will’s grief overflowing, that he remembered how many golden shrouds had been burned, some with bodies and some without.
Will’s siblings.
Siblings that Will knew, that he shared a cabin with, lived with.
Mourned.
“They’re in Elysium.” It was all he could think to say – everyone who had died fighting for Olympus had been fast-tracked straight through, honoured heroes one and all. Nico didn’t know how to comfort people, how to handle other people’s grief.
(He didn’t know how to handle his own grief.)
Will shuddered in his arms. “I know,” he sobbed. “Thank you.”
Nico wasn’t sure who he was thanking, or why, but nodded his head slightly anyway, silently acknowledging the words.
“It’s hard,” the son of Apollo stuttered a moment later. “I… It hurts. So many- Kronos smiled and Michael saved us- I miss them so much.”
What was he supposed to say to that? Nico swallowed and stayed quiet, letting Will struggle his way through incomplete sentences because he didn’t know what else to do and he hoped that having someone listening helped, even a little.
Eventually, Will ran out of steam and Nico felt him sag against him. He took that as a sign to pull Will down onto the nearest bed; the son of Apollo looked beyond exhausted, and Nico said nothing when a blond head fell onto his shoulder. He really did need a break, but he knew that if he tried to convince Will he’d get nowhere, and Will would probably have a point if he said that there was no-one else who could take over.
The other Apollo kids were no doubt equally grieving, and the rest of the camp just didn’t know enough to keep the infirmary going without them.
What Nico could do was stay with Will, making sure he didn’t overwork himself again for as long as his shift lasted, so that was exactly what he did.
#solangeloweek#heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus fanfiction#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#tsari writes fanfiction#burning-moths
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I also love Angelica and think she's so great - there's another video on her youtube where she says people should only lose their virginity in their 20's - what do you think about this? I agree with her sentiment to an extent and I do think as a woman I was put into many situations that make me feel used now and I am sure this can negatively affect men as well.. I just kind of felt ashamed/worried after watching the video because she said that having sex very young can negatively set you up for life and I agree to an extent but I think there's more nuance to it than a 20 minute youtube video can express.. And also I think the problem more with me is I didn't know to express my boundaries or communicate and people took advantage of that sometimes.. and just how women are socialised etc etc
i was just gonna watch that video but it looks like shes deleted all of those videos (which sucks ass bc she had an amazing video about the tumblr nymphet community and its parallels to nambla and how it has negatively affected us that got seduced by that little subculture back in the mid 2010s) so unfortunately i cant answer this properly bc i dont have the full context and i dont have her arguments etc but i can still give some of my immidiate thoughts on it so here we go
i think losing ur virginity/wait with sex until ur in ur 20s is probably ideal tbh and i would absolutely encourage it for anyone who is in their teens rn and havent had their sexual debut yet. main reason being that u will be old enough to understand sex and its risks and effects and u will have had time to figure ur own body out more and u will most likely have at the very least basic level emotional intelligence and maturity that is required to have safe and healthy and enjoyable sex. like u have just finished puberty and just left teenagehood behind which is a messy and confusing and rough lifestage for all of us and ur now entering adulthood and have gained some perspective etc and u are way more in tune with urself (at the very least compared to when u were a teen) and both ur body and brain will be developed enough to be able to handle sex and have a realistic attitude around it and while ofc u can still be manipulated and u may still be somewhat naive it wont be anywhere near AS easy to manipulate u as it would have been earlier bc thats just how it is. u might still be vulnerable maybe sure but if ur vulnerable now u were even MORE vulnerable when u were a teen. its just how it is. thats how growing up works. u will probably have a way easier and more enjoyable sexual debut in ur 20s bc u will have a headstart in so many ways both physically and emotionally.
BUT im not gonna pretend like its that black and white and simple. Many girls (and boys but im focusing on women here) have perfectly normal and healthy sexual encounters when they are teenagers and i rly dont believe that sex will just automatically traumatize and harm u when ur a teen bc lets be real here, the key here is that u explore sex with UR PEERS, boys and girls within ur own age group, NOT ppl that are 20+ when u are like 14-16. when ur a high schooler and u want to explore sex u do it with other high schoolers. ppl ur own age. I think its perfectly fine and normal to have sex when ur a teen, but that is assuming u are having sex with other teens. NOT ppl that are like 5 years older than u. thats when actual impactful long lasting harm becomes highly likely. feeling like u got used and heartbroken by a boy in ur school aka a boy that is ur peer and ur own age will hurt and suck and will leave an impact on u but its a very different impact than the one u will be left with if u felt taken advantaged of by someone much older (not a teen). the dynamics are whats important here i think.
sex and relationships are messy and yes u can always get fucked up from it thats just how it is. u cant avoid it. u just need to be able to handle it and maybe ur not ready to handle it until ur like 25, thats fine. dont do it then. like if u dont think ur ready, just wait until u are. if ur like 15 and feel ready then go ahead but STICK TO PPL UR OWN AGE when ur that young. u gotta be equals. period.
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For The Love Of Gods: M6 React To MC Being Insulted
Warnings: Features themes of bullying and conflict
Hi! This was a request from my insta. Not gonna lie, this one i found a little difficult to write. It does feature insults and arguments or at least conflict. So if you find that triggering, please be careful. <3 Hope you like it. Sorry if there is any mistakes.💕
Scenario: The MC is hanging out in Eonia socialising with the other deities while hanging out with the group when another deity insults them:
“Deity of Love huh? Ya know, Aurelia and Astrellio being the deities of what they are makes sense, the sun and the moon are important. Eeri and Vidas? They’re smart and logical, that’s helpful and makes sense. Leonidas is the God of Stamina, that’s handy and a worthy title. Calysta is the Goddess of Strength, she’s the strongest being, both physically and mentally, in the universe. She has purpose. But a Deity of Love? What’s the point? It seems like a waste. What are you even good for? I’ve never questioned The Fates before, until now.”
When he hears what that deity just said, he is furious!
And when he looks over and sees you upset, it breaks his heart.
He immediately swings an arm around your waist to get you to face him, and he checks you over.
Then he turns his attention to the deity in question and glares at them.
He starts telling them off.
Saying that they are in the wrong, and who are they to question The Fates.
They bring up all the good you’ve done in your short time there and about how you earned your way here. Just like everyone else.
As Astrellio gets more worked up, his powers start to cause the moon to announce itself in the sky, again.
Eventually his and Aurelia’s powers start clashing, causing an eclipse and a horrid storm.
They end up being separated from the deity as you try to calm them down.
He just hates that they hurt you like that.
For the rest of the day he will keep an eye on you, making sure you’re okay.
Will glare at the deity whenever they are around after that, even if they apologise. He is very good at holding grudges.
As soon as the words leave the deities mouth, she gasps out of pure shock!
How dare they say something like that? Especially to the person she loves!
Is so furious that her powers start causing everything to get uncomfortably bright and hot.
She turns her full attention to them as she starts asking why they had just said that. What gave them the right to say that. Ect.
Starts saying about how hard you had worked to stay here and become a deity.
Her control over her powers lessen, and the sun starts to flare brighter and brighter.
Her powers clash with Astrellio’s, causing another eclipse and storm.
Aurelia, along with Astrellio, is separated from the deity as you calm them down.
Is upset at herself for losing control again. She just got so angry about what they said to you.
Might actually start crying a little. Just give her a hug and reassure her that you’re okay, please.
After she’s calmed down, she wont leave your side for the rest of the day.
If they end up apologising, and you accept the apology, she will try to acknowledge that and move on from the whole thing.
Is stunned at first. They were not expecting that.
Eeri doesn’t like conflict. And while they may struggle to defend themselves, they don’t think twice about defending you.
They are honestly baffled as to why someone would insult you like that! Especially another deity.
Will also start going off on them, albeit not as loud.
They fire carefully crafted questions at them regarding why they insulted you.
They also get a little passive aggressive as they drop some insults on them.
Eventually, they come over to check on you.
Aurelia and Astrellio’s powers end up going berserk again. So they help in separating them from the deity.
Won’t bring up the situation until a little later, once everything has settled down.
They will ask if you’re okay and if you want to talk about it.
Will give you cuddles and tell you that the deity was wrong. And about just how great you are.
Will be a little passive aggressive to the deity when they cross paths. If an apology is given and accepted, they’ll drop it.
They always have a good grasp of what is to be expected in any given situation. However, they did not expect another member of the pantheon to insult you.
They are upset that a person, deity of Eonia no less, would insult someone like that. And they are angry that that person insulted you, and made you upset.
They end up firing off a few witty insults at them as they call them out.
They will also list all of your wonderful qualities, and tell them exactly why you are worthy of your place in Eonia.
(Unlike them)
After they say their part, they go over and check on you, completely ignoring the deity.
Will help seperate Astrellio and Aurelia after their powers inevitably go berserk.
Spends some time with you in the gardens that night.
While you’re there, they check in with you to see how you’re feeling.
Reassures you that you are an amazing Deity Of Love, and that you earned your place in the Pantheon.
Will ignore the deity if they ever see them. If they apologise and you accept, they’ll still be a little hostile and snarky to them for a bit.
Will take you into her arms (after Astrellio lets you go).
They check you over and ask if you are okay.
They hold you in their arms as they watch the others go off on the deity.
It’s not that they don’t want to speak up for you, but rather they want to wait until it has died down a little.
They try to keep you calm as they comfort you.
As Astrellio and Aurelia’s powers start going berserk, she lets you go and helps diffuse the situation.
She also asks later how you’re doing. And offers affection and reassurance.
A few days after the incident, she confronts the deity that insulted you.
She gets them to explain what had happened, why they insulted you, ect.
After a long chat (in which she does defend you) she gets the deity to go and apologise to you.
Goes over to you and Calysta, and places a comforting hand on your back/shoulder.
He can see that his friends are already handling the situation, so he instead stays with you.
He will also try to calm you down. Seeing you upset makes him upset.
He knew that some of the others weren’t as nice and welcoming but, he didn’t think someone would actually go as far to insult you. And definitely not like that.
As Astrellio and Aurelia’s powers start going berserk again, it causes a sudden eclipse as rain and wind start coming full force.
Leo ends up escorting the deity away from all of you to try and diffuse the situation.
He asks them calmly why the said that. And sticks up for you.
He doesn’t tolerate bullies.
After he’ll go and find you again.
Takes you to go get some food. Over the meal, he will just check on you and see how you’re doing.
Will offer you anything you want to feel better.
Whether the deity apologises and you except or not, he’ll still be a little on guard when they are around. More so if you’re there too.
#fictif#fictif ftlog#fictif for the love of gods#fictif fanfic#fictif astrellio#fictif aurelia#fictif leonidas#fictif eeri#fictif vidas#fictif calysta#ftlog headcanons#ftlog calysta#ftlog aurelia#ftlog astrellio#ftlog eeri#ftlog leonidas#ftlog vidas#fanfic#fanfic writer#request
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