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reallyromealone · 2 months

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Title: fae love

Fandom: none

Characters: original character (orc), reader

Fic type: nsfw, story

Pairings: orc x male reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, nsfw, smut, reader has some description, boy pussy term used, reader is a fae, chaotic reader

Notes: I thought I posted this but I didn't, this is super indulgent, and yeah. Normally this would go through Patreon first but I'm feeling kind

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

(name) smiled as he was carried by the giant orc that was his mate, a towering ten feet tall to (name) 's five feet four inches, the pretty fae kissing the orc's olive cheek sweetly as they went back to their farm, a sweet little farm in the woods outside of town "I told you no more fires in non agreed fireplaces" he said gruffly to (name) who just smiled "you're the one who chose to become fated mates with me~"

The Orc sighed, looking at the gold ring on (name) 's finger and the wedding necklace, indeed he chose (name) for marriage, he did love his chaotic husband.

(Name) often treated his husband like a jungle gym, the tiny fae usually resting on his shoulder as he went about things and used his magic for various tasks "My love, please... You're awful at cooking" he swatted (name)s hand away when (name) tried to help by adding flower petals to the stew "but they make the stew look magical ~!" Was (name) 's reasoning as he watched the other stir the rabbit and vegetable soup "I added extra (vegetable), magical enough?" The orc gently kissed the other calf, tusks grazing (name) 's flesh, and (name) giggled "You romantic~"

(Name) always sat in his husband's lap when they ate and spoke about their days, (name) in the woods building little homes for the mouse village as they wanted to expand--- thankfully their building supplies were primarily popsicle sticks, the Orc gladly letting his love do that, especially since the mouse folk traded for mushrooms and herbs they find, it also kept (name) from causing mischief amongst the fae wilds, the two living outside the fae wild portal ring and often seeing passerbys that (name) would prank (read: setting their shoes on fire).

It was always a serene affair.

Well for (name).

When bedtime came, (name) carefully took off his jewelry as did his husband, removing any makeup for the night against the candlelight "Oh..." (Name) whispered as he felt his love's large hards easily spread his legs, rubbing the inside of his thighs "been energetic these days, causing problems..." The orc said as (name) leaned into his broad chest and felt the other large cock against his ass "Have no output for this energy..." (Name) said back breathlessly as he already imagined the sweet stretch of the other cock "need something... Big to help me relax" he cooed and grinned impishly when his large husband tossed him on the giant bed, something they invested in long ago.

The orc pulled down his pants, large girthy cock erect and heavy, a deep red tip that slowly turned green "pretty.." fourteen inches that (name) couldn't help but feel giddy as he crawled to the other and gently took the others cock in his hands, kissing the tip sweetly as he stroked the shaft with both hands, taking the tip into his mouth as he gently placed his hands on his abdomen and a womb tattoo appeared, already using magic to keep his body intact so the other could fill him fully, essentially an infinity spell to not kill him.

The taste of pre-cum made (name) hazy, fae pre-cum and the likes were aphrodisiacs, (name) 's eyes heavy as the effects of the tattoo began "Gonna take me well... Always do" the orc grumbled as he watched (name) stroke him off and trying to take him but sadly he just couldn't fit him in, not without using magic to warp his body.

And last time that happened it was horrific when he let (name) do the magic using.

Jaw unhinging and face distorting...the poor orc couldn't look at his husband the same for a week.

"Lemme see that ass" (name) let himself be manhandled into his husband's hold, upside down as he held onto the other cock while being held in the air, letting out a shaky breath when he felt his loves tongue lick from his balls to his ass and circling his hot tongue around the rim as (name) shakily stroked the orcs cock as his husband's long tongue went down to curl around (name)s cock, average in size but tiny to the massive orc who felt the aphrodisiac affects himself as his large fingers pushed into (name)s ass.

(Name) Whined and moaned as he felt himself fall apart, clinging onto the other's cock like a lifeline as his ass was finger fucked and his cock licked methodically "Please... Need it..." He needed that itch scratched, yelping when his husband smacked his ass "Behave" the other grunted as his tusks scraped (name)s lower ass cheeks.

(Name) Was manhandled onto his back, for a moment he felt giddy thinking he was getting the other big cock but let out a loud cry as his husband's index middle and ring finger fucked his ass aggressively, veins showing up on the orc's arms as he fucked as hard as he could against (name)s prostate as (name) climaxed hard but the other continued fucking through his climax, watching intensely.

He could barely muster words, the two having a safe word as their sessions got... Intense so the mewls of "stop" and "I can't!" Fell on deaf ears as the orc grinned at his lover's fucked out expression as he slowly pulled his wet fingers out "Your little ass-pussy is ready... You good there baby boy?" He asked as (name) whined "please..." (Name) Begged as he let his husband kiss him slowly, lining his giant cock to (name)s poor entrance and pushing in, shushing his whined at the sensation. no matter how many times they did it, it still stung as the orc slowly bottomed out.

"You did so good, my love" the orc soothed him as he let (name) adjust, no matter how much prep the sweet face needed to adjust for a few minutes as his body twitched helplessly "Big..." (Name) Whined as he felt his husband kiss stray tears.

The two stayed like this for a few moments before (name) gave the ok and the other slowly began thrusting, pushing out to the tip and pushing in, with each thrust he slowly picked up speed. "Oh! Fuck!" (Name) Gasped as he felt the other's balls slap against his ass, hips bruising as he was fucked like a doll.

"More!"

"Yes!"

"O-oh!"

Climaxes and moans, scratches and bites were all the things that (name) got and gave as his legs stretched with a slight burn, riding his beloved as his wings stretched out, previously hidden with magic as a harsh climax rolled through and the dust from his wings lifting them slightly "yes! Fuck me with that cock!" (Name) Scratched down the other's chest as he developed more fae features, unable to keep his magic back.

"Gonna cum in that pretty hole, take it all!" (Name) Collapsed as he was stuffed, stomach bulging as his husband filled his belly with cum.

"There... Keep you from setting trees on fire for a few days..."

#x male reader #male reader #smut #orc x reader #orc x male reader #fantasy

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milkywayan · 2 years

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tfw you see some stupid post that paints medieval peasants eating just plain grey porridge and acting as if cheese, butter or meat was too exotic or expensive for them, and have to use all your inner strength to not just reblog it with an angry rant and throwing hands with people. so i will just post the angry rant here

no, medieval people did not only eat grey porridge with no herbs or spices, they had a great variety of vegetables we dont even have anymore, grains and dairy products, not to mention fruits and meats, all seasonal and changing with the time of the year. no, medieval food was not just tasteless, maybe this will surprise some of you but you can make tasty food without excessive spice use, and can use a variety of good tasting herbs. if you'd ever tried to cook some medieval recipes you would know that. medieval people needed a lot of energy for their work, if they would only eat fucking porridge all of the time they would get scurvy and die before they could even built a civilisation. they had something called 'pottage' which was called that because it was cooked in one pot. you could leave the pot on the fire and go about your day, doing stuff and come back to a cooked meal. they put in what was available that time of the year, together with grains, peas, herbs, meat etc etc. again, if you would try to make it, like i have with my reenactment friends, it can actually be really good and diverse.

dont confuse medieval peasants with poor people in victorian england. dont think that TV shows what it was really like. dont think that dirty grey dressed people covered in filth were how the people looked like.

they made use of everything. too poor to buy proper meat? buy a sheeps head and cook it. they ate nettle and other plants we consider weeds now. they foraged and made use of what they found. hell, there are medieval cook books!

most rural people had animals, they had chickens (eggs), goats (milk and dairy), cows (milk and dairy), sheep (milk and dairy) and pigs (meat machine), and after butchering they used ALL THE PARTS of the animal. you know how much meat you can get out of a pig, even the smaller medieval breeds? the answer is a lot

if you had the space you always had a vegetable garden. there are ways to make sure you have something growing there every time of the year. as i said they had a variety of vegetables (edit: yes onions are vegetables, for those who dont seem to know) we dont have anymore due to how farming evolved. you smoked pork in the chimney, stored apples in the dry places in your house, had a grain chest. people could go to the market to buy fish and meat, both fresh and dried/smoked. they had ale, beer and wine, that was not a luxury that was a staple part of their diet.

this post ended once again up being longer than i planned, but please for the love of the gods, just actually educate yourself on this stuff and dont just say stupid wrong shit, takk

#personal #medieval #medieval europe #medievalcore #sorry for that rant but man #i hate this so much #please read a book or something #or go on youtube and look up mediev food #there are so many cool food historians on there who make stufd #and show what peiole ate

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davidstortebeker · 1 year

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The Permaculture Spiral Garden - A Great Starting Point

There is probably no other structure as popular for illustrating Permaculture in practice as the Herb Spiral. Okay, I guess I could mention the lasagna sheetmulching method or also the cob oven that tends to be the first hands-on project at a typical Permie intro session. But when it comes to showing how landscape design, zones and sectors, stacking functions, and efficient use of space and water come together in one unique structure, the Spiral Garden is unbeatable.

Turning Theory into Practice

In typical Permaculture Designer Certificate courses, but even in brief intro weekends to Permaculture, there tends to be a lot of theoretical discussions. Since the numerous design principles can be applied to any climatic region, from the tropical to the subarctic, and on any scale from the humongous to the tiny, the practical aspects of the ideas can easily get lost. That's where a good hands-on application comes, where the participants get to move around rocks and dirt, while realizing how much it ties in to the concepts they've just discussed. This way the apparent "main purpose" of "building something to grow all your kitchen herbs on", becomes a neat side feature.

Adjust Your Landscape!

The first thing to realize that landscape is welcome to be modified and adjusted to bring out the best in it. Clearly, while it is important to work with what's there already, it doesn't hurt think about mounds and valleys. And before you bring out the excavators for your large-scale farm, it makes sense to start small… say on a circle of 2-5 meters (6-16 feet) diameter. In other words, the Spiral Garden is a hill with a spiral shaped surface, leading down to ground level, or further down into a water hole. It can be made out of rocks, bricks, concrete debris, or anything else you have lying around that can hold your soil.

Design According to Your Scale

Looking around for existing Herb Spirals it's easy to get confused. Some are so big you can actually climb on them (that is, you have to in order to reach what's growing on top). Others are so tiny that you may not even want to step on them. The question is: which size is the right one for you? Since this is something you will have to decide almost daily in Permaculture, it doesn't hurt starting out with this important question.

Organizing Your Spiral Garden

While there are seemingly endless types of Spiral Gardens, there are a few things they all have in common: They all start out with a region on the top, where water is bound to run off right away, leaving the soil relatively dry. This area is also the most exposed to the wind. Keep this in mind when choosing the plants that are going to live here. Ideally, the spiral should start sloping toward the East from here. Delicate plants that benefit greatly from the morning sun will appreciate this region. As the slope continues toward the South and West, it becomes more suitable for sun loving species. Finally, as the spiral reaches the ground level in the shady Northern part, it will be perfect for herbs that prefer less sun, more shade and more water, since the soil tends to be wetter here. (Note: This is for the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere North and South are reversed.) To make full use of the runoff water, many people add a small pond at the base of the spiral, where additional aquatic plants, such as watercress, can be grown.

The given illustration offers a good number of herbs for a nicely diverse kitchen. Depending on what else you want in your Herb Spiral, you can add it in the most suitable region. Mint and lemon balm love the cooler, shady part with more water. Lemongrass is great in the sunny area, and tarragon and estragon prefer the dry top of the spiral. Of course, the idea is not limited to kitchen herbs. For maximalists, the same theory can work with a mountain you might want to terraform into a spiral farm. But right now I'd prefer to stay small scale.

Plenty of Benefits (That's Why It's Permaculture)

As explained above, the main purpose of the Spiral Garden is not only to increase your gardening area by making use of the vertical, but also to create diverse climatic conditions, which do make a difference on the smallest scale. But as Permaculture tends to be, there are many other benefits to it. The structure itself offers great habitat for numerous animals, such as frogs, salamanders, lizards, but also pollinating insects, and of course others that may not directly benefit us, but by feeding on others they all add to the stability of our ecosystem. The structure itself will suppress weeds and make use of material that you're not likely to use elsewhere. Finally, depending on the size and location, it will be an ideal place to grow all your kitchen herbs right where you can access them most easily.

Some Things to Keep in Mind

When building the structure, make sure it will contain the soil in a nice trough, slanting slightly inward. That way bits and pieces that fall off will roll towards the center, until contained by the main mound.

Make sure the slope is always nice and gradual, avoiding sudden drops where the water can rush down quickly, eroding the soil.

If you're going to walk on your spiral, include a separate walkway that won't compress good soil. Most importantly, it should be sturdy enough to provide stability and make access safe.

Don't forget that while the structure is important to keep the soil in place, it is the soil that you'll be growing plants in. So it should have a good depth of 20-50 cm (8-20 inches) throughout the entire spiral. This can be the trickiest part!

Apply your own observation to which plants do better in which parts of the spiral. Also, with time you will find many other plants growing in it that you didn't plant. Before removing them, consider how much they actually bother your herbs, and whether their benefits may not outweigh their drawbacks.

Go Out and Build Your Own!

I hope this brief overview got you inspired to go out and try building an Herb Spiral yourself! I would love to hear your experiences with it!

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

#permaculture #gardening #ecosystem #plants #garden #sustainability

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mayullla · 1 year

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Hello! Loved your other events nd would like to join this one too!

My req is: 🥀 🦋with yandere! al haitham

Hope your day goes great!!

Title: The Akasha's choosing

Character(s): Al Haitham (Genshin Impact) Summary: The Akasha introduced Sumeru to soulmates, many believed it and even you... yet you can't help but wonder if you and the scribe of the Academia, Al Haitham, were meant for each other. Warnings/tags: Yandere themes, Fem!reader, manipulation of information, soulmate au

Part 2 is now here!: Learning to love [ - A little present~! Event - Closed - ]

It was shocking when the information about soulmates where given by the Akasha.

When you heard the news of what a soulmate was from the device on your ear you stared at your tea, unable to move as you wondered how the Akasha would match you to your soulmate.

Almost everybody looked happy when they found their soulmates, when their personalities match that it was almost like a click. Like they found a puzzle piece.

Yet you weren't so sure of yourself as you were reminded of the man who was supposed to be your soulmate. The scribe of the Academia, Al Haitham.

You meet the man a few times, when he was researching something out of the city you bumped into him in your travels to collect herbs and plants a few times. He was a straightforward man and in your mind, cold. You guys just didn't match. Not in your personalities nor your professions, when you worked hard but just enough money to feed yourself and keep a roof above your head while he was a man who had a high rank in the Academia.

You never liked him much, never really understood him. His stares felt like they were drilling holes into you, judging you and your worth.

You tried to avoid him whenever you could.

You thought that he wouldn't care about such things as soulmates, that something like that would be a shackle to him. That he would ignore the whole thing together. You thought that was the end of your soulmate experience and you weren't sad really you were relieved that was the case.

You didn't think you would see him as you head out of your home to tend to your small farm. Sitting outside your home reading a book just as you opened the door. You were quick to muffle your voice unable to hold your surprise shout yet somehow conscious enough to realize that it was still early in the morning to cause a ruckus.

He looked at you with an eyebrow raised oddly looking at you as if wondering if you were okay in the head.

"Why are you here?"

"Am I not allowed to meet the lady that I am soul bound to? While I don't necessarily care for such things I am curious to meet the lady that the Akasha had deemed my equal."

".... oh..."

It was awkward for you really when he explained why he was here. You thought he would not care as much yet it seems that you were wrong.

It was really weird at first, while you didn't want to meet him much he seemed to be interested in where this was going. Whenever he had free time he was often near you as you go about your day. While you wanted everything to end he kept the conversation going asking you questions and thoughts while you looked away… anywhere but him. It was not that you hate him but…

It was not like you can push him away when word somehow spread like wildfire that you were soul bound to him everyone seemed so happy for you. That you were lucky.. fortunate that you were about to be soul bound by the academia's scribe. Even when you told them that you and he didn't really fit each other or that he wasn't the one you hoped for everybody pushed your feelings aside stating that the Akasha was always right.

"Are you taking a break?" The deep voice surprised almost making you jump from your hiding spot. Looking up from your seat at the grass floor you saw Al Haitham standing near you right beside the tree you were leaning on.

You went deeper into the forest very early in the morning before the time he would usually visit you you wanted to get away and have time for yourself but it seems you were so soon caught by the man. Leaning on the tree you thought that went far enough that maybe he would have given up searching for you.

Really while you continued to find Al Haitham awkward to be around it seems that he became rather fond of you.

Al Haitham took a seat right beside you asking what you were planning to eat. You looked anywhere but him and while he was pretty miffed about it he couldn't help but also be amused by your actions as you handed him part of your lunch that you had made for yourself after awkwardly asking if he ate or not. You were too polite.

You were a sweet girl fearful of hurting other hearts and at the same time so caring. Even when you didn't want to be with him the person you were supposed soul bound to you still smile when he visits trying to hide your true feelings. You couldn't say no directly to his face even when it was so obvious that you find him uncomfortable, instead opting to run away with an excuse at hand when you were caught.

You would come around eventually, Al Haitham knew you would. You just need a little more time really. And you would see that you and he match well with each other.

You don't need to know that Al Haitham knows almost everything about you at this point. That he was able to gain access to all your information. You didn't need to know that he was the one who placed this theory of soul-bound in front of the eyes of the upper-ups. You didn't need to know that later he tweaked it a bit linking you and him together. That he did all that just so that he could have you in his grasp.

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hellenicrisis · 7 months

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Does Hellenism have a Holy Book? Or like a Bool with Rules,Customs,Offerings etc?? Kinda like a Bible :>

Hey there, sunshine! ☀️

Hellenic paganism doesn't have one single piece of holy scripture like Abrahamic religions do. Our texts are a little more scattered. We have the Homeric Hymns and the Orphic Hymns, each are a collection of hymns and prayers to the gods. There is also Hesiod's Theogony, an epic 1000+ line poem that details the genealogies of the gods, and also Hesiod's Works and Days, which is more on the subject of morality and farming, but includes good lessons on how to interact with the gods.

You can buy these online in the forms of physical books, but there should also be free pdf versions of them out there, as well as websites that have the entire collection of hymns written out.

As for a text that gives instructions regarding customs and offerings, there isn't one set, singular text that I know of. We learn from historical and archaeological research, from writings like those listed above, and from each other. There are modern books on Hellenic paganism and its practices written by scholars that you could look for. Some are expensive though, and if you do enough digging on the internet yourself, you should be able to come up with some information.

I could teach you a couple basics right now.

1. Be clean when praying

There is a line in Hesiod's Works and Days that reads, "Never pour a libation of sparkling wine to Zeus after dawn with unwashen hands, nor to others of the deathless gods."

This line refers to the custom of washing our hands before giving offerings or libations to the gods. There is a water we make, I think with burnt herbs in it, called khernips that is used to clean our hands. You don't have to use it though (I don't) and simply washing your hands normally works just as well. I believe it also symbolises being generally clean. Being ready for your day and in a good state when presenting yourself to the gods is important, I think.

2. How to pray

Here is a post I found about how to pray in Hellenic paganism. I found it very helpful and I've been pagan for years now, so I think it could help you. (Link)

Also a note, we have a version of "amen" that can be said at the end of prayers, if that sense of closing off makes prayer easier for you. I know it did for me. The word is "khaire", and as I understand it, it means "blessings" or "good wishes". You can say it to someone or to close a prayer.

EDIT: "Khaire" or "khairete" can be used. They both mean "hail" or "farewell" or "blessings". "Khaire" is to address one, and "khairete" is to address a group.

3. Ouranic and chthonic

Quick run down on ouranic and chthonic. Ouranic means celestial, and it is how we refer to gods who live on the surface and in Olympus. These include Zeus, Hera, Apollo, Aphrodite, etc. Chthonic means underground, and it is used to refer to gods who live in the Underworld. These are Hades, Persephone (half the year at least), and Thanatos.

In Ancient times, offerings to ouranic deities were either libations poured to them in a bowl or cup or the smoke of burning food. It is believed that the essence of the food would be carried up to the gods through the smoke. Looking at this in modern day, incense smoke is an excellent offering and we can leave food offerings and libations out on the altar along with a lit candle.

Offerings to chthonic deities usually went in the ground, so that it may be absorbed through the earth and reach the gods in the Underworld that way. Usually libations were poured out on the ground and food offerings buried in a dug hole. If you have a garden or pot plants and your offerings are safe for them then the practice can be replicated that way. I've also seen people use boxes on the altar, putting offerings inside and closing it, symbolising burying it.

Or you can simply treat chthonic deities the same as ouranic deities when giving offerings. Whatever works best for you, but this is what was done traditionally.

4. Read the myths

Read the myths of the gods you wish to worship. You learn a lot and can come to your own conclusions about your worship by learning about their stories and roles in society.

This may all seem like a lot now, and not having one singular piece of decisive scripture can be challenging if you're used to having one, but it does get easier. You'll settle and find your feet. Knowing these things will become second nature, and you will build your own practice based on them. No one's worship looks the same, especially with paganism, and that's as it should be.

Thank you so much for asking, sunshine! So sorry for the long response, but I figured I'd rather leave you with some starting points and things to investigate. Please feel free to send another ask or dm me in future if you have any more questions.

Khaire! ☀️

#answered asks #asks #pagan #hellenic pagan #paganism #hellenic paganism #helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic polythiest #polytheism #polytheist

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thewritetofreespeech · 1 month

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Could I request Alucard with an s/o who's the daughter of a pair of farmhands?

He has no opinion on her lifestyle or parents. He’s not a snob.

Alucard is actually rather fond of gardening, as his mother used to have her own garden to grow medical herbs and he would help.

It was nothing as grand as a farm, but he appreciates the hard work that takes.

He also appreciates that they have the ability to make things grow. Create life in a way. Sometimes he feels like all he can do it take life. So he’s rather jealous.

#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#castlevania #alucard castlevania #castlevania alucard #alucard x reader #castlevania alucard x reader #castlevania x reader #adrian tepes #adrian fahrenheit tepes #castlevania headcanons #castlevania hc #headcanons

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thosewildcharms · 15 days

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Hi, do you have any headcanons about Rick with RJ and Judith after TOWL?

sure! most of these are about the grimes family as a whole because michonne is the beating heart of the family yk!!

under a read more because apparently i had more to say than i realized (shocking). some of these are copied from previous posts!

antony azor who plays rj is apparently very shy and reserved but opened up unexpectedly with andrew lincoln and so obviously this is also exactly what happened with rick and rj. father and son bonded INSTANTLY

part of this is because rj (like antony) is very shy and reserved and rick gets that and so they can just be quiet together and still feel like they're bonding. as rj gets older, whenever he needs to think something through he asks rick if they can do some sort of project together, and through that he works through whatever he has going on.

his first night back, judith asks rick to finish reading the wizard of oz to her because he never got a chance to. it takes a good five minutes for him to compose himself but she does finally get the full story from her dad. michonne and rj join them because they both love hearing stories the most when rick is the one telling them.

I think rick definitely got back into farming post towl since that is his ~zen place. judith and rj have the idea to grow flowers for michonne, and the three of them plant her a small private garden as a surprise. they even build her a little bench to sit on and everything. after it's finished they have all their family picnics there :')

I think this is less my personal headcanon and more a collective fandom headcanon but rick DEFINITELY does call rj "junior" and he is the ONLY one allowed to do so. If anyone else tries they get the rick grimes head tilt and squint from both of them.

they as a whole family have all kinds of Secret Family Things (like the code names for security shoto/daito/brave man/little brave man). for example they have a family whistle that has different variants for different ~situations. it's kinda silly but they all get very into it and take it very seriously!

speaking of family rituals, family dinner is REALLY important to them!!! I'm always thinking about that one dinner scene in early season 9 where michonne, judith and rj are quietly/sadly sitting in that dark dining room with that empty chair where rick is supposed to be. NOW their kitchen is bright and loud and cheerful and they all cook together and use herbs and spices from their family garden :')))

during the week or so leading up to judith and rj's respective birthdays, Rick gives them each a gift for each year he missed. like an advent calendar of missed birthdays. Idk what he gets them exactly but rick king-of-gift-giving grimes would figure something out. michonne helps out a lot by filling him on the things they both enjoyed throughout their childhoods

(he does the same for michonne btw. a gift for every year he missed. they never cared about birthdays before but he's still making certain things up to her)

now that rick and michonne are back together they find it much easier to talk about all the people they lost. judith and rj's favorite stories are the ones about their brothers, carl and andre.

i love the idea of scene very similar to the one in towl 1x05 where richonne get mugged only to turn the situation around in .5 seconds only this time it's the whole family being badass and intimidating to a stranger who thought they could try it

as we know from towl, rick and michonne are fucking insane :') but eventually they realize judith and rj out-crazy both of them combined (much like carl did, rip king) and they are EXTREMELY proud :')

#richonne #grimes family #the ones who live #i know as soon as i hit post i'll have more to say but this is good for now i think #also reblog and add your headcanons PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE #oh re: that dinner scene from season 9 i mentioned. i honestly forget if there was a plot reason for them being sad in that scene #so my bad if i made some assumptions but i don't think it's a big leap personally!

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kakashixhatakesxwhore · 17 days

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Thank You

Pairing: Uchiha Itachi x f!Reader

Summary: Going blind and coughing up blood, Itachi had to seek some kind of medical aid, if only to prolong the inevitable. It helped that some random farming village's secondary clinician was so understanding and willing to provide that aid - but now, after a year of visits and spinning a Parnassian lie, he's started to care for the clincian, against his better judgement.

W/c: 2.7k

Warnings: meh, fluff, just Itachi going blind and trying to be nice (also him negating to tell our girl that he isn't just some wayward poet)

Notes: totally totally totally inspired by this post by @weeny-mcbitch !! also, was supposed to be a drabble that I stayed up all night to write instead, so lmk if y'all want a part 2, im teeming with ideas rn (also, im working on my requests, i swear to god, this is kinda like a warm up for one of then - whoever sent in that itachi and shisui one ily youre a genius) anyway lmk if this sucks

Masterlist💿

He was such a kind man, there wasn't a thing in the world you wouldn't have done for him, for free. Just his thanks and the small, reluctant smiles he would give you were payment enough.

"I don't want your money, Itachi," you giggled as you reshelved an assortment of herbs. "When have I ever made you pay for my silly, little pills?"

"They're not silly, and you should."

Looking over to him and his holey cloak, you just asked with a grin, "When are you going to let me fix up that ratty cloak of yours, anyway?"

"I'm practically stealing from you as is," he grimaced, holding up the bottle of pills you had just pressed.

Itachi stared at the exam room wall in front of him with wide, unmoving eyes for a moment longer before letting them trail to you. Smiling at him softly, you returned a jar of Goldenseal essence to your wall. His stare made you nervous - it was as if he were looking straight through you, despite an effort. You shelved the final jar and put your hands up, one in front of the other, aimed at Itachi.

"What are you doing?"

"How many fingers am I holding up with the hand closer to you?"

"Why are you doing this?" He asked with a sigh, looking back to the wooden wall in front of him. Dropping your hands, you moved to sit beside Itachi on the bench of your family's exam room.

Your father was your village's clinician, trained by his father and his father before him. He had been training you thusly to carry on the title, which allowed you the facility to care for the wandering ninja before you, whenever he came along. It wasn't terribly often that Itachi would visit, but you always made sure to be thorough in your examination when he would.

"Last time you were here, I noticed you were having some issues with your depth perception. This time, your pupils aren't properly dilating with the light," you told him softly. Itachi just turned his head down to look at the floor instead. Sighing, you put your hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly as you said, "I'm not an optometrist by any stretch, but my cousin is. If you're still here tomorrow afternoon, I can get you an appointment."

"I won't be."

His voice was firm, but had such an feeling of regret attached to it. You frowned, letting his shoulder go. He was an adult, and a wanderer, no less. There wasn't a thing in the world you could do to force Itachi to do anything.

The air in the room had gotten much too thick for your liking. So you smiled, bumping your shoulder against his as you stood again, remarking, "I suppose the life of a travelling poet doesn't allow time for optometry then."

"No, it doesn't..." Itachi trailed off.

You just chuckled lightly, collecting your notes on the wanderer that were strewn across your father's desk. Your desk. The practitioner's desk. A life of poetry and meandering seemed so nice in comparison to your boring life. Though, Itachi never meandered. He never seemed to have the time. You'd think a man of his lifestyle would have all the time in the world.

"Will you ever share one of your poems with me?" You asked, lining your year's worth of papers up before sliding them into your bag.

"What?"

Scared out of your skin, you jumped away from Itachi, who was suddenly standing beside you. He took a step back, extending his arms to you. Itachi's face filled with worry as his cloudy, black eyes jumped around your entire body.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to frighten you, I should have made more noise. I'm so s-"

"It's alright," you murmured, taken by the slight parting of his lips and furrow of his brow. You just stared at his face, heart corralling itself, as a different Itachi stood before you. One you hadn't seen before. Inhaling deeply, you bit down on your lip, murmuring, "As an aside... you smell amazing."

Closing his mouth, Itachi blinked slowly as his expression morphed into that of confusion, then to a slight... well, you didn't know. He just seemed caught off guard, though pleasantly so. Itachi's brow relaxed slightly, and you were blessed with his small smile. The right corner of his mouth lifted just slightly higher as his eyes roamed your face, and Itachi leaned forward unconsciously. You smiled back, collecting the straps of your bag as you maintained your gaze on Itachi.

After a long while, Itachi rubbed the back of his neck, turning his eyes to the ground. "What do I smell like?"

"I dunno," you chuckled, pulling your bag over your shoulder and walking up beside Itachi. You leaned closer to him and took a long breath, deep and thoughtful. Humming, you mumbled, "Like a very foggy forest, I suppose."

"Ugh, that's terribly musky," Itachi complained with a kind of joke in his tone that was foreign to your ear. You smiled as Itachi turned his head to look at you, his minty breath washing over you as he asked hesitantly, "And you... like that?"

"I do, indeed," you confirmed with a nod. "Though, I can smell a distinct lack of mullein on you. Make sure you're steaming those pills properly."

"I do," he replied almost indignantly.

You chuckled as you asked, "With the towel over your head, and all?"

Itachi's nose twitched, nodding, "As embarrassing and time consuming as it is, yes."

"What colours come up after?"

"Black, and blood."

"Are you coughing while over the pot?"

Itachi's face scrunched up at your question. "No, ew, why would I-"

"Don't cough into the pot, take your head out for a second," you laughed, shaking your head. Walking to the exam room door, you flicked off the lights, allowing the moonlight from the window to illuminate the room. "You shouldn't suppress your coughs, that will only make you cough harder when you give in."

You opened the door and turned back to the beautiful, black haired poet. He stood by the desk, nodding silently and softly. Itachi's large eyes reflected the shine of the moon so wonderfully, it was like you could see the individual beams as they touched the different shades of his dark irises.

Eh, what the Hell. "Care to walk me home, or does the Poet's Life not allow time for that either?"

Elegant as a dancer, Itachi swiveled on his heel and came to you with his small smile returned to his full lips. His cloak swished as he walked toward you, his footsteps no louder than those of the smallest mouse in the largest church. Voice as rich as your grandmother's chocolate cake, Itachi hummed,

"I can make the time, if only for you."

"Oh, stop, now you're just flirting with me," you grinned as the black haired man followed you out of the primary exam room.

"And if I am?"

"Well," you grinned with a blush, locking the door. "Then I would smile, kiss you, and say thank you."

"Then I'm awaiting your kiss."

"You're awfully bold this evening, Itachi," you giggled, hooking your arm into his as you began to walk down the short hallway of exam rooms.

He smiled, looking straight forward as he walked with you, putting his other hand over yours. Just his presence was so calming, but it was like contact with him put your soul in a trance. Nothing bothered your mind, nothing nagged - everything felt peaceful, or at least tentatively so. The two of you swept into the waiting room and you both turned back to lock the door to the hallway.

"Do you have a boyfriend? A husband?"

"Cripes, Itachi, how old do you think I am? A husband?" You exclaimed with a laugh.

"You said you were nineteen a few months ago," Itachi said with a gentle voice. "A young woman like you... you should have a husband... someone to love you."

"Lots of people love me," you replied, mocking his earlier indignance, pulling Itachi through the dark waiting room.

"That's not what I meant," he sighed, pursing his lips. You frowned a bit, recognizing he thought you were upset. Itachi's hand stiffened over yours, as if he was worried you would let go. Drawing a deep breath, he clarified slowly, "I meant... I'm sorry, I just- you're so... it's unbelievable that no one has... you must decline a thousand proposals a day, is what I mean."

"Awfully poetic wording," you remarked jokingly.

Opening the front door of the clinic, you and Itachi squeezed through together while you chewed on your lip. The night air was crisp, wrapping you in a ticklish blanket, which had you you tighten your grip around Itachi's bicep. The muscle rippled beneath your fingers as Itachi pulled you a step closer to him while you locked the final door.

"My dad takes care of that for me," you admitted, drawing him down the steps of your family's clinic and onto the dirt road. "He needs me at the clinic, and in the garden, and at home - one day, he'll decide we need a next generation to continue the clinic, but I've still got a few more years."

Looking over, you remarked the frown that had settled onto Itachi's lips. Still staring ahead, Itachi looked genuinely upset by your words, almost troubled.

"I wish... I'm sorry," he simply said.

"Not your fault, poet," you shrugged, rubbing small circles into his bicep. "I'm content. I've got a job, a small nation's worth of friends, and the attention of the most handsome ninja in the world."

"Who?" Itachi snapped, head swiveling so quickly you could hear a small crunch of cartilidge.

With a chuckle, you shook his arm. "Don't tell me you're losing your sharpness along with your eyesight." Itachi quirked his eyebrow at you, squinting as he did. You snickered, "You, Itachi, are the most handsome ninja- no, human - and you're gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous."

"Now you're just flirting with me."

"I am, but I'm also telling the honest truth," you replied, feeling like your heart was going to beat out of your chest at any second.

Looking forward, you could make out the lights of your house in the distance. You turned your head up, hearing the crickets' chirps and the soft breaths Itachi took. The stars above where abundant in the black canvas of the sky, the white and yellow specks flickered in every corner, as far as the eye could see. Right in the center of the sky, directly above the two of you, a big, bright, full moon shone, bathing your little village in silver glow. Everything seemed so perfect, so picturesque - as if the whole world was as calm as you. Perhaps it was, if only while you walked with Itachi.

"Do you know any of the constellations?" Itachi asked you gently, only a few paces from your house.

"Not a one, you?"

"I could draw you a map of the sky, if you wanted me to."

You looked over casually as Itachi raised his eyes to the sky. He began squinting and widening his eyes, pupils stagnant and his eyes dry. Despite the obvious troubles, Itachi raised his hand from yours and pointed. Your eyes followed up his arm, his index finger drawing a strange figure eight in the Northern sky as he mumbled,

"There... do you see a really bright star and a kind of fish shape?"

Matching his squint, you looked where he pointed. Itachi's finger was a ways off the brightest star in that direction, but you assumed that was the star he meant.

"I see the bright one, I think, but the fish is a bit tough."

"Well, the star is called Vega, and the constellation is Lyra," he told you, bringing his hand back to rest atop yours on his bicep. Itachi squeezed your hand to his muscle and he continued, "It's a lyre, like the one Orpheus played."

"Who's Orpheus? And who's the liar?"

"A lyre is a harp of sorts, but Orpheus' is a very long story, sweetheart," Itachi chuckled lowly as the two of you approached your house.

With a shrug, you pulled him to the stairs to your door and sat on the second step, letting go of his arm.

"I've got the time for a story."

Smiling, Itachi sat next to you and began, "Then forget Orpheus for a second while I tell you about Jason."

Over the hours of the night, Itachi divulged the epic legends of Jason and his Argonauts, shifting to Orpheus and Eurydice after. You listened with rapt attention, clinging to every word as he gesticulated wildly. Itachi painted such vivid imagery with his tongue that you had no doubt he was a poet. Of course people would pay to listen to his voice, to be taken into a world of his creation.

As he recited the tales, you asked him questions. Silly, little questions, you thought, but they derailed him greatly, sending him on tangents about different translations and different versions of the same myth.

"He has to turn around."

"But he can't, you just said that was the rule."

"What would you do, if your love refused to look at you?" Itachi asked, eyes locked with yours.

You shrugged and yawned, "I dunno, you're always staring at me."

"Okay, then think," he chuckled. "I'm in front of you, and you can only see the back of my head, as we walk out of Hell."

"Sounds alright."

"We're in Hell though, sweetheart," Itachi reminded you with a smug smile. "The ground is alive, only to trip you - demons are swarming and taunting us - we're surrounded by danger. And I don't look back... I don't check if you're still with me, or if you're alright."

"Oh, I get it, I get it," you hummed with a nod. "But still, we would be fine, as soon as we're safe on Earth."

"Eurydice didn't think so." Itachi tore his eyes away from yours, looking to the sky as it lightened. "In the one version where Orpheus doesn't turn, Eurydice turned back. She returned to Hell, not wanting to live if Orpheus didn't care enough to check on her."

"That's terribly sad, Itachi."

He looked back to you, smiling softly despite your words. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't mean to sadden you."

"I'm not sad." You yawned again, leaning on Itachi's shoulder. "Not sad at all."

"I should let you go in, get some sleep while you still can."

"Next time you come, you should stay with me," you suggested, almost ignoring his attempt to leave. "You could stay for a few days even, get some proper writing in. The village isn't awe-inspiring, but we've got a few nice streams and valleys."

Itachi took a deep breath, then leaned his head against yours gently. The two of you sat on your step, simply breathing together as the sky shifted from a navy blue to a darling lilac. Slowly, the stars that Itachi seemed to know so much about faded into the distance, leaving you only a twinkle in your mind to mark their presence. Birds stirred awake, the hatchlings cheeping desperately for breakfast from their diligent parents. The birds awoke the cicadas, who started their droning early, before the sun even began to rear it's stunning halo over the horizon.

The silence that you and the wandering poet had constructed began to seep away as the farmers began their morning duties. Machinery whirred to life, and farmhands slowly started stumbling from their houses, on their ways to their contracts.

No louder than a whisper, Itachi mumbled, "I need to go."

"Why? A limerick on the tip of your tongue?"

"You could say that," he smiled, lifting his head off of yours slowly. Once you raised your head from his shoulder, Itachi stood and extended his hand to you. You took it gratefully, and Itachi added, "I'll come back soon."

"I hope," you replied honestly, squeezing his hand. Itachi's Obsidian eyes flickered around your face, his pupils dilating wide. You grinned, "I'll work on some eyedrops for you - I can't restore muscle, but I can help qualm the dryness."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to."

"Okay," Itachi whispered.

Carefully, he brought his free hand to your face, tracing your cheekbone with his thumb as his fingers pressed against your jaw.

When you leaned against him, Itachi let go of your hand, in favour of cupping your face on either side. You rested your palms around his thick, bare, scarred forearms, as the tattered sleeves of his cloak had fallen to his elbows. For a minute, you and Itachi stood in the quiet of the morning as his fingers gently roamed around your face. They brushed down your nose, feeling each dip in your jaw and temples, gently squeezing the flesh of your cheek. Everywhere he touched, a trail of tingling fire was left, making your heart bounce around in your chest. Itachi's small smile grew on his face, deepening from a simple smirk to a full-blown beam.

Blinking a few times, Itachi said, a decibel louder, "You are... very, very pretty, Y/n."

You smiled, leaning forward to the balls of your feet. Lingering for only a second, you pressed a kiss to Itachi's cheek. His face bloomed quite the rosy red, as you said,

"Thank you."

#itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #itachi x reader #itachi x you #itachi uchiha x reader #itachi x y/n #itachi fluff #naruto fanfiction #itachi naruto #itachi fanfiction #itachi fanfic

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stardropsaloongossiptrain · 9 months

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Bachelor/ettes and Cooking

Gonna rank how I think the marriage candidates would do in the kitchen

----

Bachelors:

Elliott -- it takes a while, but once the man has a real kitchen at his disposal and some encouragement to try, I think he would really enjoy cooking and could be very good at it! I HC him as growing up in a wealthy home where he probably wasn't allowed to cook for himself, and then the cabin has nothing... but he remembers dishes he really enjoyed. I like to think he starts cooking just trying to help out once he moves to the farm, and there is DEF a learning curve... but there's a master chef hiding in there. I can feel it.

Alex -- you do not grow up with Grannie Evelyn and not learn how to cook. Impossible. Now, he's not a fancy chef by any means, but he can make a meal without issue. If you get this man a grill, he will 1000% become Grill Master, Kiss the Cook apron wearing Grill Dad. Also, though he rarely does it, he can bake up a storm. Generally only bakes for birthdays.

Harvey -- He can cook, but only cooks healthy meals. He will need to be taught that it's okay to season your food. Brown rice, steamed veggies, and plain tofu/ chicken breasts type guy. Otherwise, it's pre-packaged frozen food. Maybe he can get better w/ encouragement but he's always going to be checking portions and making sure you eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and watch your sodium intake. The most likely bachelor to be vegetarian/ be willing to go vegetarian. Gets nauseated if he's preparing meat.

Shane -- Mid-tier like Harvey, but even though he's had kitchen access he rarely feels like cooking. He knows what seasoning is-- his usual cooking style is the exact opposite of Harvey, mostly family recipes. All flavor, calorie count who?? Loves making food covered in cheese, sauce, or gravy. His chili would win awards, but he only makes it once a year.

Sam -- He could keep himself alive if the box has directions. Anything more complicated than boxed mac and cheese, though, and he gets a little lost. Can help YOU in the kitchen very well, but to be honest he would rather be doing something more exciting.

Sebastian -- The only one who is a worse cook than him is Abigail. He is NOT allowed in the kitchen even to watch. Could burn iced tea.

---

Bachelorettes

Emily -- Oldest sister + working at the Saloon added together means she's definitely going to be a decent cook, but she genuinely enjoys cooking. She loves to experiment with different cultural dishes. She only cooks vegetarian or vegan dishes.

Penny -- She's pretty self sufficient. I don't think she knows too many recipes, but she enjoys experimenting if she moves to the farmhouse. She's very adapt at stretching a budget, and I think she would enjoy making jams/ pickles. Not the big amount the farmer does, but small batches in special flavors.

Leah -- She's a simple cook. She prefers raw dishes, or things like buddha bowls. A lot of texture and flavor. Loves using herbs and edibles from foraging locally. Leans vegetarian but doesn't mind fish from time to time.

Maru -- Maru is proficient at cooking, but I think takes after her dad too much and is very nutrient focused vs what actually makes a good meal. Occasionally makes questionable decisions in the name of efficiency. Could go from making some sort of casserole if busy w/ a project to Extremely Experimental if she has the time. No in between.

Haley -- I considered putting her higher but no. She has rarely if ever had to cook for herself before, so if she's at the farmhouse she will be surprised if you expect her to do anything in the kitchen. Eventually I think she could be fine. It's not hard. She just hates doing dishes. Enjoys baking somewhat, especially w/ Alex.

Abigail -- She eats rocks as a snack and thinks if you just crank the oven to 600 for fifteen minutes it's better than 350 for an hour. Her stomach is alien to this world. Can and will eat anything without issue.

#sdv headcanons #sdv bachelors #sdv bachelorettes #sdv #stardew valley #sdv elliott #sdv emily #sdv alex #sdv abigail #sdv harvey #sdv leah #sdv shane #sdv haley #sdv penny #sdv maru #sdv sebastian #sdv sam

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strangelittlestories · 9 months

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I share an allotment with a group of like-minded, similarly afflicted mythics and metaphoricals.

They’re mostly a nice bunch - escapees from legend, myth and folklore, mainly.

There’s a couple of nice ancient warrior men who help me carry bags of compost (when they’re not too busy making eyes at each other).

Then there’s the werewolf who scares a lot of the pests away and grows lovely blood oranges in the greenhouse.

I don’t always get on with the sirens, who keep trying to add salt water to the fish ponds, but I do have to admit they harmonise beautifully. Mainly they sing about sustainable farming and permaculture - but that could just be what I hear…

We get a few brownies and hobs, too - and we’ve agreed a fair percentage of each harvest to be set aside for them, in exchange for their labour and the little magics that they offer to make mundane tasks go a bit quicker.

The main problem I have (other than rare Editor turning up - and we’ve managed to repulse all their incursions so far) is with the seer with whom I share the herb garden.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, we get along okay. I’m what those in the know would call ‘a blindspot in the weave’, which means I don’t show up in prophecies - so she doesn’t need to worry about giving me dire warnings for me to ignore. It saves on foreboding wailings and I Told You So’s and largely makes for a chiller relationship.

But I am nearly certain that she’s been stealing my herbs.

Not the dangerous or esoteric ones, mind. Usually it’s just perfectly ‘literal’ cooking herbs that go missing. And I’m fairly sure it’s her, because the leaves are always plucked right on the morning they’re ready.

I’ll be heading over to the allotment, excited for the day’s gardening, and sorting through my list of the various plants who’ve whispered through their roots (and into my dreams) that they’re ready to be harvested (along with the latest plant gossip).

And then I arrive and the stalk of my herbs are bare and when I sing and croon to them and ask who did this, they keep stubbornly silent.

I mean … it’s not a big deal. It’s a small price to pay for an otherwise very equitable arrangement. It just grates sometimes; sticks in the craw, y’know?

But I guess it’s true what they say:

Prognostication is the thief of thyme.

#writing #microfiction #short story #flash fiction #puns #feghoot

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hermitscratch · 3 months

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or 2 with rendoc please? :)

Send me a pairing + a number! || Accepting

2. An accidental kiss, Ren/Doc, 953 words

Contrary to popular belief, Doc enjoyed slow mornings.

He was an early riser, when his ambitions were lax enough to allow him a full night's sleep, or his friends insistent enough to demand it of him. Something about seeing the sun crest the horizon and paint the sky in gloriously bright color always lit a fire under him, reminded him that there was a new day at his disposal and urged him to make the best of it. He could grind for hours on that motivation alone.

But, that didn't mean Doc didn't know how to appreciate downtime. There was a contentedness that came with everything being in its place, his builds ahead of schedule and his workspaces organized in a way he understood, even if nobody else did. In the distance, Doc could hear the sparking redstone and firing pistons of various contraptions, a cadence so familiar that he could tell they were working properly by sound alone.

The eggs were fresh from Doc's chicken farm. The steak had sat in an herb bath overnight. The coffee was ground from Doc's latest attempts to crossbreed a sweeter bean. The berry juice was pressed and chilled that morning. Ren was running downstairs in a rush-

...Wait.

Doc looked up as Ren flitted and fretted around their shared space, disheveled from sleep. "I am so late, dude," Ren said in way of greeting, apology, and explanation, all in one.

"I can see that," Doc said, putting down his coffee mug, "What's the hurry?"

Ren disappeared back upstairs. Into the bathroom, were Doc to guess, the door left ajar for the sound of running water and brushing teeth to travel. "Hah a meeing wih Hreah an' Hrea," Ren tried.

Doc's organic side softened. "Try again," He said, standing from the table. If he'd known Ren had somewhere to be, Doc might not have made him a plate. He'd've at least woken him up to eat it sooner, but no point letting it go to waste now.

There was the sound of swishing, spitting, and a much clearer voice repeated, "A meeting with Stress and Cleo!" Doc heard rummaging from the direction of Ren's room as he worked to slice the steak and scramble the eggs, "Where's my-?"

"Your elytra is hanging in the front hall," Doc interrupted, "Where I left it when I last mended it for you."

"Oh," The delight in Ren's tone seemed out of place, and Doc huffed, shaking his head fondly as the rummaging kicked up again, "I was gonna say my shades, actually, but good to know about that, too!"

"Have you checked your head." It wasn't a question, and there wasn't an answer, just a telling silence that made Doc wheeze with laughter.

When Ren came back downstairs a bit later, he was out of his pajamas, teeth, hair, and tail all brushed. "We're just gonna ignore that little faux pas I did there, alright? Alright," Ren insisted casually, walking past the kitchen to grab his elytra and strap it on.

Doc met Ren in the hall. "You can ignore it," Doc pointed out as he offered him an insulated bundle. The steak and eggs were sliced thin and mixed together, and he'd poured the berry juice into a capped bottle. Ren might have appreciated the coffee, but it wasn't yet decaffeinated enough to be dog hybrid-safe. "I'll be thinking about it for the next hour."

Ren snickered, accepting the bundle with one hand and pulling the front door open with the other. "Yeah, uh, this morning's been a struggle," He stood on his tip toes to press his lips to Doc's, and then he's out the door, calling a "Catch you later, baby!" as he flew off.

Doc watched him go. He shut the door behind Ren, and returned to his place on the couch. His coffee had cooled. Doc took a sip anyway, and didn't even register the tingling of his lips.

"DOC!" Doc coughed in surprise as Ren careened back through the front door. His elytra would need to be mended again, but that was less of a concern than the wide-eyed expression on Ren's face.

Doc hardly had a moment to set his mug down before Ren was trapping him on the couch, a hand holding his weight on either side of the headrest. "What is happening, man?" He asked skeptically.

"Doc, what did I just do?" Ren asked him with an urgency that made Doc's eyes narrow thoughtfully.

"Ruined your elytra, again, and maybe the door?" Doc spared it a glance. Definitely broken, or at least knocked off one of its hinges, hanging askew in the doorway by little more than a prayer.

Ren shook his head, "No no, before that! I left with the bundle you gave me, what did I do right before that?"

Doc thought back. Ren had been rushing to leave. He'd brushed his teeth, gotten dressed, and found his shades. He'd been putting on his elytra when Doc stopped him for the bundle, and then-

Oh. Ren had kissed him.

"You should call Stress and Cleo," Doc said, half-dazed. It had happened so quickly that Doc hadn't even processed the action until now.

Ren raised a brow, "Why's that?"

Doc hooked his arm around Ren's neck and pulled until Ren fell forward, body against him properly, and returned the favor. It was more than the quick press of lips Ren had spared him at the door, but if the wagging of Ren's tail and the feel of his rapid heartbeat was any indication, there weren't any complaints.

They were both breathless when they broke apart, and Doc touched his forehead to Ren's. "You aren't going to make that meeting."

#RenDoc #Renthedog #DocM77 #Hermitshipping #Hermitcraft #Hermitfic #MCYT #Asks #Anonymous #Ren #Doc #Astral Library #My Writing

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ghosties--writing · 8 months

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Farmer! 141 members + konig, alejandro, and rudy x reader (What they farm)

Cw: Fluff

After I posted about farmer! Call of Duty characters, I started thinking about what type of farmer they are. Meaning if I think they are a crop farmer, livestock farmer, rancher, dairy farmer, family farmer, industrial farmer, kitchen gardener, organic farmer, regenerative farmer, or an urban farmer. Also keep in mind that I imagine them being farmers around 1776 so it's not modern time.

First off just so you know what each farmer does here's a list:

Crop farmers- They grow crops such as grains, fruits, vegetables, and cotton.

Livestock farmers- They raise animals such as cows, pigs, chickens, and sheep.

Ranchers- They primarily raise livestock, often on a large, open range or pasture.

Dairy farmers- The specialize in producing milk and other dairy products such as cheese, yogurt, and ice cream.

Family farmers- They own and operate farms as sole proprietorships, partnerships, or family businesses.

Industrial farmers- They use large-scale, mechanized, and intensive methods to produce crops and livestock.

Kitchen gardeners- They grow vegetables, herbs, and fruits for their own consumption or scale.

Organic farmers- They use natural and sustainable practices to grow crops and livestock without synthetic chemicals or genetically modified organisms.

Regenerative farms- They use practices that enhance soil health, biodiversity, and ecosystem services to grow crops and livestock.

Urban farms- They grow food in urban areas, using spaces such as rooftops, balconies, backyard, or community gardens.

Ok, back to what I was talking about:

Price- I feel like he would be an industrial and dairy farmer. He would have farm hands since he's getting older and he need help around the farm but that doesn't stop him from going out into the feild to do what he can. At the end of the day after all of the men finish their duties and after they bring you all of the eggs, milk, even meat that was slaughtered that day for you to make them a meal. They would bring you everything and then sit either inside the house relaxing or out on the porch talking with eachother smoking while you cook. If they are inside in the living room relaxing you would have to tell them all multiple times to take their boots off of the rug or off of your blankets, even going as far as to threaten them with no food as John sits their and laughs.

Ghost- Rancher. That's all I'm going to say he seems like a rancher. He seems like he would enjoy being on a huge farm with his little wife surrounded by nothing but feilds. If you want to go to the market it takes almost all day to get there and back so you better plan a day to go because you know he's not letting you go alone. He also seems like he wouldn't have many farm hands just because he doesn't want to put you in danger. What if one of the farm hands disobey his duties on the farm and head over to the main house you are in and gets handsy with you while he's not there to protect you? He would feel horrible. But he caves in and let's maybe 2 or 3 farm hands work under him after you told him that he shouldn't have to do all the jobs on the farm since he came in every night complaining that his body ached.

Gaz- He seems like a family farmer and a rancher. Maybe he lived on the farm all of his life and once his father passed away he had control of the farm and inherited the house. Once he met you he felt like his life was complete, he had a pretty wife beside him who kept the house smelling like sweet baked goods. He has quite a few farm hands solely so he could spend time with you in the early morning and so he could come in early and spend time with you before the other men came in looking for a big warm meal to fill their empty stomachs. I see Kyle living more closer to town so he's not secluded like Ghost but it does take a bit of time heading to and from the market in town. He also trys to come with you every time you go into town or he sends a trusted farm hand with you.

Soap- You can not tell me that soap is not a dairy and livestock farmer. He absolutely lives in the Highlands of Scotland with a bunch of cows, both regular dairy cows and the fluffy highland cows. He does own other animals but he prides himself of how well his cows are taken care of, he keeps a good eye on all of his cows to make sure none of them get sick or hurt. I also believe that he does trim his cows feet himself but since he has so many cows and other animals he has farm hands to help out with the hoof trimming and other things like that. Since he is in the highlands almost everything would need to be made by hand since the markets are far away so he also has a lot of sheep so his sweet wife can make all of them (herself included) warm clothes for the winter. The only thing she really needed from the market was fabric and other things that weren't as easily obtained at her farm but good ol' Johnny would make sure she had water she needed. And he would take you with him so you have a say on the fabrics you get and whatever "unnecessary" items you needed.

König- I see him just as a industrial farmer. He obviously lives in Austria and he owns a pretty large farm and just like Ghost it takes a while to get to and from the market in town so you have to choose a day so you and König can go with eachother. Maybe you both go together because half of the time he needs something from the market too so he takes you with him so you can get what you need. He also has a lot of farm hands, but he need it because he can't take care of a large farm that is mass producing to feed the town all by himself, he needs a little help. But you make sure that all of the men have clean linens to sleep on and clean clothes to wear and you make sure that they have big warm meals to fill their stomachs at the beginning and end of the day. You also go into the feild every once in a while to suprise them with warm freshly baked sweets that you had just made which they always seem thankful for. König makes sure you have everything you need to make yourself, him and the other mens clothes or the farm hands bring you their clothes to men after the accidently rip it on a nail, just for them to find it perfectly mended and folded on their bed when they get to their rooms.

Graves- This American man is most definitely a rancher have you heard his southern accent. Anyways, he lives on a decent sized farm with a couple of farm hands and he's pretty close to town but not close enough where you could walk there. He always insists that he goes with you to the market and he always insists you buy something even though you both know you don't need it. You're always in the house cooking and baking so when your husband comes in with his farm hands they have warm fresh food and treats to feast on after a hard day's work. Graves always makes sure that you are happy and safe, if he ever finds out that something is bothering you he will find out something is bothering you he will sit you down and talk with you until he gets to the bottom of it. But he's nice about it, he doesn't want to make you sad, he just wants to keep you happy.

Alejandro- He's most definitely a crop farmer. He lives in Mexico in a semi secluded area with a pretty big farm that mostly only grows crops and there are only a few animals. You have a pet dog that stays with you in the house, Alejandro claims that it is to protect you while he is out in the feild. It takes a while to get into town but if you ever need to go into town Alejandro is right there with you, anytime you need to go. As long as it is not to late in the day or in the middle of the night, he will go with you whenever. He has farm hands that get up and work early so he doesn't have to leave your side in the morning. He loves any food you make and will drop everything if he hears that you have made food. Him and his farm hands always try to finish with all their chores on the farm as if it was a race between them because they want to be the first one to eat the food you make.

Rudy- I see him as the type of man to be a livestock farmer. He most definitely has a bunch of animals but his favorite animal is horses. He love you so much and would hate if something happened to you. Again like all the men on this list he wants to keep you happy and healthy. You do some things on the farm like gathering the eggs, but you don't do much than that. You mostly stay home washing and making clothes or cooking/baking. Occasionally you do go over to your friends house to keep eachother company or she comes over to you. If you do go over to your friends house either Rudy or one of his farm hands will come with you to make sure you stay safe. The market isn't far from home but again it takes a while to get there and almost all the time when Rudy accompanies you he manages to sniff out Alejandro. So you stay at the market much longer than you intended because they will talk for hours catching up with eachother. At the end of them chatting he invites Alejandro and his wife over to have dinner with the 2 of you. So you have to make even more food for dinner but don't worry because you are at the market so you can buy extra food for dinner.

Keegan- He doesn't own a huge farm like the others, instead he owns a decent sized house but he only really has a enough room on his land for a decent sized qarden. He grows fruits and vegetables but only enough for the 2 of you. He doesn't have any farm hands and he works as a blacksmith and a silversmith while you stay home and you tend to the garden. Since he doesn't really own a farm you both are really close to the market so if you really wanted to you could walk to the market. He does insist he comes with you whenever you go to the market to make sure that no random man trys to start anything with his pretty wife. You both also have a pet cat and dog, the cat is yours and the dog is his. The cat is a orange tabby cat and the dog is a spaniel. You stay home making different foods for the 2 of you to enjoy when he gets home along with taking care of some other things around the house that need to be done. (He definitely hand made your wedding ring since he is a blacksmith and a silversmith)

Roach- He is an industrial farmer. He does have many farm hands to help out with his farm and he also likes to invite Ghost and John over to his farm just so he can hang out and chat with them. He also will take you with him and travel over to one of there farms to hang out and you also get to chat with their wives and gossip about your husbands, as all women do. Again he loves your cooking and doesn't know what he would do if he ever had to make a meal for himself and his farm hands, you are the life line of the farm (other than the farm itself). Most of the time you make your own dresses but you and Roach do go into the market for the fabric because it's not something you can get from home, and while you are out you also pick up fabric for him so you can make him some clothes. Occasionally Roach works as a blacksmith but only really for making horse shoes for his horses. So whenever he's out making horse shoes almost all day you always bring him a snack like a couple of cookies to him as he works.

Masterlist

Please give me more to write about them, I am literally obsessed with the idea of Farmer! CoD characters.

Feed back is welcomed.

I do not condone my work being published on any platform or to be translated in any way.

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