" = 👁 ʙᴜʟʟꜱᴇʏᴇ ˊˎ - ⌖ ▹
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Whumptober 2023 | No. 29
Troubled Past Resurfacing
Prodigal Son s01e12: “What were you so desperate to forget?”
@whumptober @whumptober-archive
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He had a bitter, angry look on his face, as if remembering unspeakable things.
Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle
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For some people, forgetting means letting them go. For others, letting them go means remembering them forever.
— Grief for You
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hello asriel
7/10 -babyproof
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Pain. Antipathy. This is how I will remember you. Because this is what you left me to remember you by.
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"You remember too much,"
my mother said to me recently.
"Why hold onto all that?"
And I said "Where can I put it down?"
Anne Carson, The Glass Essay
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Adieu, mon amour...
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It's like suicide
All my life I've only given
given myself entirely
not to humans
but to vultures
waiting for someone vulnerable
they can use and dispose of
to devour unabashedly
until the marrow is no more
I've been chewed and spat
worn like a rag
discared the moment I served no more purpose
I've been the brief amusement
to entertain their lust and gluttony
thrown like a broken toy
or burnt to cinders like old paper
I'ts like suicide
every time I cover my own eyes
and pretend I can handle beasts
all they eager to ravage me
anxiously decending into their pit
I profess love and courage
the very moment I feel their teeth
I conceal my pain and tears
with words of hope and fidelity
An immolation of emotions
an offering of faith
promises tainted in blood
lies painted in gold
I decieve my very spirit
with each attempt on my life
fabler of dreams
forger of truths
my role as a lamb
a saviour
and a fool
Marzanna
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Had he vividly and regretfully remembered her all these years?
Iris Murdoch, from The Philosopher’s Pupil
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Will Trent episode 1.07 “Unable to Locate”
Character: Will Trent, portrayed by Ramón Rodríguez.
Type of whumps: fast forward: laying barely conscious and passed out; scars all over his naked torso, receiving upsetting news and a bit shaken, pensive, painful memories and sighed, argued and emotionally hurt, hit at his arm by a crowbar losing his gun, attacked by multiple opponents and fought back, slammed against a car then hit at his back by a bat, chased, bleeding from his forehead and neck, passed out, recovering consciousness and bloody wound on his forehead, blood on his hands and handkerchief, feeling hopeless and sighing, rescued and heavily breathing, patch on his forehead and ice pack, sighing, disappointed.
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I've cried multiple times yesterday, because the flashbacks kept on coming.
And my phone decided to show me the most painful photo memories. I deleted a bunch of photos. Seeing one of my trigger people/abusers' photos while I'm just trying to go about my day doesn't seem to be great for my healing process...
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“Wait.” Remus halfheartedly tried again to stop him, but Sirius had already scooped back up the items from their hiding place. He popped his head back up with satisfaction, the items resting in his folded hand, still not knowing what he held. He held out his closed hand to Remus to return them, but Remus hesitated, so he opened his hand and looked down to see two rings. Realization dawned on him.
“These are James and Lily’s wedding rings.”
“Yes.” Remus said, his voice constricting.
“You have their wedding rings?”
“Petunia didn’t want them, so they came to me. I’m just—I wasn’t sure what—I’m going to give them to Harry of course.”
Sirius hadn’t taken his eyes off the rings he held in his hand. “Of course.” He echoed back softly.
****
Dignity be Damned, chapter 28: The Shoebox, excerpt (2)
Chapters 1-28 are available on Ao3 now!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555698/chapters/132111325
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An uncomfortable post 9x14 therapy session for Hetty.
@whumpcember
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