Whumptober Day 28 (Aaron Hotchner & y/n Hotchner)
No. 28 IT'S JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG
Anger Born of Worry | Punching the Wall | Headache
Warnings: toxic parents, abusive childhood, abusive dad, gun, argument, heated argument,
Word count: 1222
Major thanks to @wolf-knights for running this through with me :)
“Er, Agent Hotchner,” Your head snaps up, you give Anderson a small smile, not paying attention to the person behind him. “There’s someone here to see you,”
You finally turn your attention to the person behind Anderson and you feel your brain short-circuit. “Wh-What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? What sort of a silly question is that?” The woman gives a laugh, “Come on, let’s go somewhere private so we can have a one-on-one chat without prying ears,”
Unsure of what else to do, you nod dumbly and lead the woman to the roundtable room. No one would be there, but they’d still be able to see you, should things turn bad.
When you lead her there, you stay silent, not knowing what to say. This was the woman that left when you were five years old. What was there to say? “Well?” She prompted, before sighing, “Aren’t you going to offer your mum a drink?”
“Sorry, I haven’t exactly done this before,” You bite back, “My mum left when I was five, I guess I don’t really know what the protocol is,”
The woman turns to you, face sour. “Is that really how you respect your elders?”
“The ones that abandoned me and my brothers?” You say, “Yes.”
“How dare you,” She exclaims, “I knew we should only have had two children, I told your father, three is too much. The last one will come out wrong and it seems I was right.”
Your face drops, “What?” You hadn’t expected her to bite back like this, you were expecting maybe one or two comments and then for her to apologise.
“I only wanted Aaron and Sean,” Your mother says slowly.
“Mum?” Your mother turned around, hearing Aaron’s voice.
“Aaron!” She chimed, face lighting up immediately. “How have you been? I’ve missed you,”
“I’m going to ask you to leave,” Aaron said, ignoring her question and not reacting when your mother began to yell loudly in protest. “I won’t ask again. Either you leave or I have you removed.”
She scoffed loudly, “Never would I have thought my own son would treat me so!”
“Leave. Now.” Scoffing once more, she picked her bag up, storming out of the room and down the stairs and out of sight.
“Who was that?” Derek asked, sticking his thumb over his shoulder.
“That would be our mother,” Aaron answers with a sigh.
“I’m just gonna- I’ll be back in just a-” You say, desperately trying to blink the tears from your eyes.
“Take as much time as you need,” Aaron says immediately, “My office is free if you need a moment in there.” You nod, silently making your way to the office.
You weren’t quite sure how you felt. You were feeling something, it was swarming throughout your body. Rage. Frustration. Disappointment. You had stupidly let yourself hope that she had changed. But she hadn’t. She hadn’t changed at all.
Aaron walked into his office, ten minutes later, making sure to clear his throat as he entered the office, he didn’t want to startle you. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect when he walked in, maybe you crying, perhaps he’d see you throw something unimportant from his desk against the wall, something that showed the intense emotions he knew you were feeling. But no. Aaron didn’t see any of these. Instead, what he saw was his younger brother sitting, staring ahead at the wall, expression blank.
He makes his way to you quickly, kneeling in front of you. You don’t acknowledge him. “(Y/N)?” He asks gently. Your eyes flick to his, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” You whisper, swallowing. You stood up, “Come on, we don’t have time for this- we’ve got a case.”
You make your way to the door, Aaron hot on your heels. “(Y/N), wait, we need to talk about this-”
“I’m fine, Aaron,” You reply, not giving him a chance to reply before you’re closing the door.
You ignore the others in the bullpen, Penelope trying to get you to sit this case out, Rossi telling you that you should stay home and rest, the others agreeing. You pay them no attention. They didn’t think you could do your job. You grab your duffle bag before heading to the jet, choosing to sit on the couch, in the corner. You needed all the security you could get at this point.
The case was tense, but flew by. The unsub had a hostage, a young girl, seventeen maybe eighteen. Not thinking, you had rushed in without a second thought (or your bulletproof vest). Aaron had kept it together at the crime scene, waiting until the team was alone in the police station before stalking up to you, the police were still at the crime scene, leaving just your team there.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Aaron yells, stalking towards you, face like thunder.
“What do you mean ‘what the hell were the thinking’?” You asked, glaring up at him, “I got the guy, didn’t I?” You said, gesturing to the unsub.
“Yeah, and nearly got yourself killed in the process!”
“I was perfectly fine!” You defended, scoffing, “What, you don’t trust me to do my job? That it?”
“(Y/N)-”
“What Aaron?” You ask, folding your arms as you continued to glare. “You gonna give me another self-entitled big brother lecture? Don’t talk back, do as I say, follow my orders, all that crap? Don’t bother.”
Seeing his nostrils flare and fists clenched in anger, you step closer. “What you gonna do Aaron, hit me?” You sneered, “You gonna take all that anger out just like dad used to?”
“(Y/N), stop. You need to calm down, now.” Emily’s voice is strong, but you ignore her. Derek steps in front of you, preventing you from getting closer to Aaron and trying his best to edge you out of the room and away from the situation.
“I know you want to,” You yell, “You get that look in your eyes. Same look he used to get when I messed up after you and Sean pissed off and left me alone with him!”
Rossi found himself stepping forward, preventing Aaron from doing anything he may later regret. “(Y/N), shut up!” Aaron growls.
“What’s wrong? Having trouble accepting that we’re both exactly like him?!”
“How dare-!” Aaron begins to exclaim, pushing past Rossi, finger pointing harshly at you. “How dare you say that.”
“We are,” You sneer, “Look at us! You drove Haley away, just like he drove mum away and I’m not much better!”
“You have no right to say that! No right! That is my family, they are my family!” You stop fighting against Derek for a moment, face dropping. My family. My.
You let Derek push you back and away from Aaron. “My family, huh?” You don’t say anything else, simply turning to Derek, who watched as most of the anger drained out of you.
“There you go, running off again,” Aaron picked, “We all know that’s the real reason you don’t have anyone else except this team.”
Rage floods through your stomach, as you exit the door, you slam your fist, hard, into the wall. Not paying attention at the dent it leaves, or the small smear of blood. You just continue walking.
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