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#OH THAT HAS BEEN STRANGE TO WRITE
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Tommy sighs, and some of his anger is blown out through his nose and into the salty breeze. He’s quiet for about a minute before he says, “Do you want me to go in with you?”
~~~
Ghostbur stares at the list, and then looks up. He can see structures at the end of the path, behind some leafy trees. Wooden structures. Houses. A little village.
Ghostbur doesn't visit many villages—he doesn't remember any from Alivebur, either—mostly because they tend to be far away from the main parts of a server, and it takes a while to get to them.
~~~
Even so, Tommy’s heart pulses in his head, and his feathers are raised all over him, and he feels cold instead of hot even though his hair feels sticky.
~~~
When Philza saw Ghostbur for the first time, he gasped.
~~~
Wilbur wonders if Techno ever feels like this, around Tommy. This warm bursting inside his chest, like his heart is expanding past his ribs and slowly tearing through his skin. This explosion in slow-motion, a cacophony of colors and heatwaves and emotions, collecting in a storm cloud inside Wilbur’s brain. This feeling that’s so loud, and yet so quiet at the same time.
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Wilbur loves her.
~~~
Tommy exhales softly. "Why aren't you saying much? You're all closed-off and stuff. That's bad, y'know. It represses trauma and locks up all your thoughts with a teeny tiny key and throws it out the window. Stuff like that." He waits. "Puffy says that's bad for you. Did she tell you that? About repressing things? Wil?"
~~~
Tommy presses his lips together. “Hey, if you- if you’re tired or anything, we can sit down. We don’t have to keep walking if you’re feeling bad.”
~~~
He wonders now, as he holds a tiny glass in both hands, walking from the kitchen to the den. It's the smallest glass he owns, he's sure; he'd spent way too much time looking for it earlier, opening cupboards and peering behind dishes and even checking underneath the sink. It's the only glass that'll fit the contents made for it—which, of course, is a flower. A very small, very tattered, very weak blue flower, all but one petal torn off.
~~~
Techno flicks his eyes to Ghostbur’s face, watching the ghost’s nostrils flare gently every time he breathes. Blanket covered chest rising up and down. Ghostbur doesn’t look like he’s in pain. That’s good.
Even so, Techno drops one hand from his chin and lets one elbow slide off his knee, reaching his arm forwards in order to lay his palm across Ghostbur’s forehead. A bit cold.
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emmavakarian-theirin · 4 months
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hiiiiiii i've fallen back into dragon age hell (origins, specifically) if anyone wants to DISCUSS things i am here
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sysig · 1 year
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Greetings, human! ♥ (Patreon)
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writeouswriter · 2 years
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Hmm brain just conjured up another fictional little guy; at this rate, I am eventually going to run out of room to accommodate all of these fictional little guys, they will have to find a motel or something
#writing#writeblr#writer things#his name is tommy because that is the first name that came to my head#dark curly hair tanned skin hooked nose and dimples and dark eyes#an easygoingness and just genuine passion about him that's contagious#he may be a mechanic and wears loose oversize clothing a too long red button up with the sleeves rolled up#he smokes more out of habit and boredom than wanting to do it he hates it#he's got that classic awkward nerdy but strangely appealing best friend in a movie or show kind of vibe to him#except instead of being in that standard best friend role he is currently trying to usurp the role of love interest in my mind in the vague#new wip i had been thinking about making#though maybe i should make a new wip as this other wip is already new and has different vibes but...#i have made three new wips in the span of the last few days i am not making another i am not i am not#shoe meet horn#he's also mentally ill and the narrative is going to be f*cking normal about it#alright maybe i'll make a new wip#god am i going to make a new wip#my other brand new characters staring at me as i barely even got them off the ground yet like really come on dude#but don't worry oh god I remembered a 4th wip from the past two weeks don't worry bennett i haven't forgotten you#and the several hundred others up there#hmmm thinking about tossing him into a scifi#yes he looks suspiciously similar to some of my other ocs but different maybe i'm pulling a t*m b*rton#and hiring the same actor for all my movies
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jahiera · 7 months
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every time gale is like "ohhh surely you have called out to mystra once or twice as a sorcerer--" I just picture a sort of record scratch scene where lakhesis stares at him in silence for a solid 5 minutes as he gets increasingly uncomfortable remembering that she, in fact, was raised by a cult dedicated to malyk in the underdark. lakhesis vc brother gale I dont even pray to that fucker let alone a PRISS like MYSTRA-- [instantly smited]
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starpros-sunshine · 11 months
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OK FOLLOWING UP ON THE BARD THING i think eichi definitely invited wataru to perform at a noble party before. because they'd usually have musicians and so? so ok picture this. it's eichi's birthday so his parents want him to hold a ball and he usually thinks those are annoying but then he gets an idea. make it a masquerade (for the drama). invite wataru as both a performer And his partner for the ball. he's an actor! and everyone is of course impressed by wataru's performance but they're even more impressed because the always polite but unreachable tenshouin heir is expertly dancing with a masked stranger (i love the fact that eichi's specialty in his profile is ballroom dancing). and then they're annoying and overdramatic in public together but no one can figure out Who That Is
and also i know you said that shu was a tailor but i think it would be funny if he also were a noble (his family is also of high standing in canon i think) so he can be there to judge eichi. harshly. i havent figures out yet how to make him besties w wataru but ! it can work
!!!!
This got soooo long again so this is once more put under read more I am so sorry
The idea with the Masquerade comes up while Eichi complains to Wataru about his parents pretty much forcing him to throw a ball for his upcoming birthday (they already planned the whole thing and didn't reallly give him a choice in the matter) and how much of a hassle he thinks that is because of all the superficial politeness between people that everyone knows are gossipping about each other behind each others backs and how sick he is of the pretending to be well acquainted with these people he's talked to maybe once or twice and all the ladies that wish to dance with him and that want to suck up to him because of his families wealth and how really this is all just one big farce to "save face". So Wataru suggests "why not make it a masquerade ball" to spice things up a little bit maybe, take some of the stiffness out of it. And Eichi says he wants to invite Wataru because what's a public event without proper entertainment? Wataru agrees of course and they come up with all of these overly grandiose ideas and scenarios (most of them are utterly absurd. One they genuinely consider involves Wataru pretending to kidnap Eichi and causing a scandal (Eichi woud miraculously reappear the next day and they'd gaslight everyone into thinking that never even happened and all the people are just imagining things)).
Wataru mentions that he'll be gone for an evening to play at the noble's ball to the elderly inn-keeper couple over dinner and they make a really big fuss about it and tell him to dress nicely and to watch his manners because "Remember, you can't just drop from the ceiling with those high society people like we let you do it here they're very sensitive about manners you have to make sure to watch your manners!" and for a minute he wonders how it got to the point that his landlords started to treat him like they personally picked him up from the street when he was a child.
I like to think he met Shu when he was out on the street doing a little street performance to earn some extra money for himself and Shu, the way that he is, came by, looked him up and down, and then started a conversation with him about music as an art form and that somehow turned into a philosophical discussion and at the end of that they each went their own ways with the knowledge that there was a new friendship formed that day.
And maybe he's the one that sews Watarus clothes for the ball because if you spent most of your life as a traveling bard living hand to mouth from your music you won't really have the money for fancy clothes (Eichi still insists on paying for Wataru here because he wouldn't need to spend so much money on fancy ballgowns if it wasn't for him in the first place and also he just wants to treat Wataru to something nice and sees this as his chance seeing as Wataru declines most gift offers me made before). Wataru tells him about the entire thing and Shu scoffs because dislikes Eichi (still need to come up with a way to explain that disdain but I will come up with something trust me!) but his parents force him to be there too so "he might as well" (it's obvious he still puts in a lot of care "because of his pride as an artists" (because Wataru is his friend and he wants him to have something nice)).
Shu only has to be there because his family guilt trips him into going and he doesn't see the point in opening that can of worms again ("We already let you pursue your foolish dream of sewing clothes like a commoner this is the least you could do for your family.")
And then at the actual event he's in some secluded corner together with some other people who only attended as a mere formality because they also do not like the Tenshouin family but they have to be there because they're important and aristocrat politics are weird that way I suppose.
Meanwhile Wataru does his usual thing and charms everyone with his beautiful beautiful voice and his elegance and charm and oh he is so agreeable as a performer. Eichi has to handle the usual "pleasantries" (nothing pleasant about those tries) and he exchanges the one or the other suffering glance with Yuzuru when nobody pays attention that just screams "God when will it end". Yuzuru shoots him back a look that conveys the exact emotion of "my condolences" and then he goes on to look for Tori who's 1.53m figure has disappeared in the group of people and when he finds him he's talking to a gentleman that's about a head taller than him and the mask obscures his face but judging by the hair and the slight "animosity" between them he's talking to Tsukasa, so Yuzuru decides he's in good hands and leaves to do his own thing. (do they know they're talking to each other? Who knows! But they'd probably manage to start bickering either way.)
And eventually it gets to the actual Ball bit of the Birthday Ball Event where they actually dance (there's an actual orchestra there now and they play very lovely music). And almost everyone asks to dance with Eichi at least once. Eichi does not want to waste his time and energy on these people who are just interested in him for his money so he always makes up something about being preoccupied or a little tired or something that gives them no other choice but to back off. Suddenly Wataru appears behind him and does a little "boo!" and Eichi didn't expect that so he startles and almost drops his glass and tells Wataru not to do that anymore at public eventshas while Wataru has to stiffle a laugh because he thinks Eichi is cute when he pretends to try to be firm with him. After he's done with his "scolding" (you can barely call it that. he was very soft on Wataru.) Wataru asks him for a dance this time and he's very chivalrous about it - he goes all out really - he kisses his hand and offers him a rose while he does a little bow and asks if he "may have this dance with the lovely star of the evening" (and oh Eichi wants to kiss him so bad right then and there but in a room full of people that are worse than a committee of vultures that is very much not an option). Of course he agrees and they move to the dance floor and suddenly a Lot of eyes are on them because Eichi Tenshouin, whom a good chunk of pursuers have already given up on - because let us be real. It will never happen. The man hasn't shown interest in anyone at any moment in time and lives together with the Himemiya heir and his butler as far removed from the rest of the aristocracy as one would be able to - is waltzing with this masked stranger and it becomes very obvious very quickly that Eichis constant declining of dance offers was not for a lack of expertise because those two look breathtaking together.
Eichi actually dips Wataru once and some people wish they had hired an artist to paint the scene (because I'm a sap and wataei is beautiful I don't care I'm being self indulgent here)). And they talk but nobody can understand what because of the loud music and they curse the orchestra - which is still playing very lovely music (it's heavenly really) - for it.
After their dance is over Eichi goes back to declining every dance offer he gets with the excuse he's exhausted and needs to rest a little before he can dance again (the "I don't wish to dance with you" is implied and in the room but most people chose to ignore it to spare their ego and decide to take him at face value) and Wataru disappears to somewhere, nobody really knows where but somehow he's nowhere to be found. Until he sneaks up to Eichi a second time and does the whole "Boo!" thing again and Eichi almost drops his glass yet another time and as he turns around to "scold" Wataru again Wataru shushes him and takes Eichis, who is more confusedd than anything by now, hand and sneaks out of the ballroom with him.
Eichi asks where they are going and Wataru doesn't answer he just keeps walking and Eichi decides to just trust the process and suddenly they're on the Balcony again, not a cloud in the sky and the only sounds to be heard are the muffled instrumentals from the orchestra that started playing their next piece. The only lightsource being the moonlight reflected by the new years snow. And Wataru turns around, he's not wearing a mask anymore, and he does his little bow and kisses Eichis hand, hands him a rose he had appear from nowhere - a white one this time - and does his entire "May I have this dance with the lovely star of the evening" spiel again. It's the same routine really but it's different somehow. More intense. Because he says it with more sincerity than he did when they were around more people. And Eichi doesn't even have to reply before he finds himself whisked into this waltz yet again, somehow in the leading position. And then they dance and they dance and it's just the two of them, the stars as their only witnesses. And as the orchestra finishes their piece and the music fades out Eichi dips Wataru again and they kiss and it is so sappy and they are so so so so sappy.
They stay out on the balcony a little while longer but they retreat back inside rather timely seeing as it is still january and the night and as the following consequence of those two circumstances actually pretty cold and they'd both rather Eichi not get sick (he already got Watarus coat but then they'd also both like it very much if Wataru also didn't get sick either so they migrate back into the empty, dimly lit hallways of the mansion rather quickly)
(meanwhile at the actual ball people have noticed Eichi missing and started to ask questions, poor Yuzuru has to repeatedly tell people Eichi probably retreated into his quarters already, seeing as it is rather late and he was rather tired "Please excuse the young master for his failing in notifiying the other guests, he told me he didn't wish to interrupt the nice atmosphere and preferred to leave unnoticed".)
After the festivities died down Yuzuru and Tori go to check up on Eichis room because he's been gone without any notice and it would probably be useful to know if their kind-of-roommate just went away to fool around with that strange bard man they've been seeing sneaking around their mansion from time to time that Eichi seems to be oddly fond of or if the should actually be worried about his well-being. After they knock and get no reply Yuzuru just opens the door and he and Tori are both greeted with the view of Eichi asleep in his bed and next to him the also seemingly fast asleep figure of Wataru who's braid got considerably more lose during the course of the evening and who's also seemingly wearing some of Eichis sleepwear.
They both decide they have seen enough they do neither need nor wish to see more. Yuzuru, who has been in this situation before doesn't even have it in him anymore to react in a specific way. He just lets out this big sigh because he doesn't get paid enough for all of this as he directs Tori out of the room. Tori who has not been in this situation before has a Lot of questions now because he doesn't know this man but he's apparently closer to Eichi than most other people and he doesn't know how to feel about that but happy is probably not it.
(The following day Eichi has to listen to a (rightfully) disgruntled Yuzurus passive-agressive-yet-somehow-still-very-polite-sounding-Yuzuru-complaints about him just disappearing like that and leaving it to Yuzuru to take care of his mess (Eichi promises him to make up for it and that if Yuzuru has any favour to ask he's very welcome to come to Eichi about it). Tori really wants to ask about the strange man Eichi was so involved with but between not really getting a word in while Eichi and Yuzuru are talking and not really knowing how to take the exceedigly good mood Eichi is in (he's had "A very nice evening". With utmost certainty it was for reasons other than him actually enjoying the mingling witht the high society at social function he was obligated to host, Tori guesses), he kind of clinks out here and decides to simply take matters into his own hands when he gets the chance.)
#never let me write anything about them ever again#this got so long again I really just wrote my heart out huh#can you believe I actually researched flower language for this#in the middle I remembered that January is actually really cold at night so maybe I should switch up my approach a little#hm. did that work out? I have no idea#I kind of blacked out somewhere in the middle#Hiyori could've been in this idk he was there too somewhere with Jun or something#Eden attended the event but they're unimportant right now#can you tell I love fairytales by the way I feel like that got a little obvious throughout this entire AU#oh I should make a tag for this I'm actually rather fond of my embarrassing cringefail wataei au rambles#Btw when Wataru comes back home he's also in a very good mood and the elderly inn-keeper couple tease him about it#I've gotten very soft about that little thing that started as a side bit initially#those are his parents now they looked at this guy that has been occupiying this one room for a Long while#and that pays his rent by doing shows for the guests or helping in the kitchen or generally just helping around#some things are just easier when you're young and energetic#and they looked at him and his birds and went ''You're a little strange and off putting but you're part of the family now''#this is way less profound than the first one it's suuuper self indulgent and a little lame but I like indulging from time to time#head in hands i really like wataei#wataei#OH! wait there's symbolism in the dance scene (the second one)#the rest is just me being silly#yumefan🎼🌠#Wataru could wear Eichis clothes no problem I think thats so neat#because they're the same height and it's been said Wataru can pass perfectly for a woman so I assume he has more of a slim frame#chances are Eichis clothes sit loser on him than on Eichi i think that's a little funny#the possibility is there is all I'm saying#<- tag until i figure something out that sounds nicer#Märchen au
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nathanialhowe · 4 months
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prev post is so good but i didnt want to rant in the tags too much anyway the way that i feel abt l4rian opening themselves up for feedback and criticism with respect to their STORY and characters is that it's honestly very ignorant and a bit sleazy imo.
i might be missing information and they may have done this, but if they were Actually Concerned abt their writing for, say, Wyll being insensitive they could have--i dont know--done the thing that many legit writers do and hired a sensitivity reader (or a few) to go over their story beats for him. like it's about due diligence, not just bending the knee to every fan who was able to pay for and play your early access game. or even just run focus groups with Black players and paid them for their time and insight.
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I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 
#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks#or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow#him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.)#like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure.#ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their#entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!''#''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho#w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode#It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just#like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked#away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write#the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol#you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what#has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for#the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba#too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool#Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions#of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous#ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long#and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good#enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one#special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person#or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.''#at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first#sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol#Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes#lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi#re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY  setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype#then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever#or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring
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starberrysap · 1 year
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i’ve suddenly been struck by the strong need for a benoit blanc batfamily crossover fic
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camping-with-monsters · 10 months
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Listened to The Stupendium’s “Neath!” enough to say “ah fuck it. Let’s make an oc out of this song.”
His name’s Cyrmic. Sometimes people just call him Ol’ Danderdilly. A bit of a curious existence— one that was believed to have such low odds that it was almost considered impossible, as he is half human and half cryptid!
In Bliss (which he’s debatably canon to it, not a whole lot of development has gone into his relevance, but he wouldn’t even be a considered character in the first act(??) but likely in a later act.), as long as both parties can consent and the cryptid is sentient (because it’s likely that there are cryptids that have mindsets closer to humans and others closer to animals) than a human and a cryptid can peruse a relationship. By default, humans and cryptids are not compatible to reproduce— but the gene for cryptids does in fact exist. It’s just a rarity. Most who do bare the gene usually don’t end up courting with a human for either the obvious reasons, don’t even end up with a human (which is more common than not) or just decide not to have a relationship at all. It’s a mixed bag.
However, in Cyrmic’s case, his cryptic parent did in fact bare the gene when courting with a human— and learned that the hard way. What kept them optimistic about it, we don’t know. Regardless, Cyrmic exists now. Not much going back on that.
Known to be kind of a peculiar character, Cyrmic plays the role of an oddball with a fascination for all things old-timey. He leaves a questionable taste in other’s mouths with his somewhat intimidating demeanor that’s both charming and suspicious which is reflected on his gestures and dignified dialect. Some people are led to believe he might be plotting something. But maybe they’re just not used to seeing something considerable as an eighth wonder. He’s not really trying to scare people. He’s just like that in general, and he genuinely means well!
But all in all, he’s looking for someone to love. Someone he can settle down with that can humor his curious point of view.
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amazingspidermans · 2 years
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also why would you make wandavision an entire series on wanda dealing with her grief and realizing that the world she created wasnt real and she had to accept her loss... only to immediately have her go batshit crazy for the sake of doing the entire grief/acceptance character arc AGAIN but with more extreme stakes 
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waywardsalt · 7 months
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.
Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!
the answer ended up being really long lol
Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...
Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)
other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.
there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.
nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.
the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.
honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.
now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.
honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.
i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.
other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.
yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff#my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so#fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine#what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god#anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good#ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play#silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing'#anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good#tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst)#but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively#generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing#sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol#anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk#i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot#strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it#i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad#and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good#im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest#also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time#i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare
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anbroids · 7 months
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to the lovely anon in my inbox from earlier today i accidentally deleted your ask after posting it too early by mistake but thank you very much for the kind words :,) lengthy integument update coming hopefully in the next week or so but it’s taking me a little while longer than expected because i’ve been traveling this week
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cinisemperium · 1 year
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@roguesenses cont. from here || bonus music
They always said that words were a fiercer weapon than any gun or blade could ever be, and he had always been confused by that. What could one person possibly say that would hurt worse than bloody hands trying to keep insides in, clenching fingers reaching desperately to hold tattered skin together?
But now, sitting here with Izuku so tenderly holding him, his touch a facade of the love Shouto had finally started to believe in, he knew. The words made so much sense it hurt. His stomach contracted violently, and he launched himself to his feet, stumbling to get as far as he could from the false hero. His cheek burned where Izuku's fingers had just been, as if the memory of his touch was a vile one.
Izuku had promised broken broken of course he broke it that he would never leave Shouto. That he loved him and he would never give up on him, that it wasn't too late for him to come home. And Shouto was trying, he was trying so hard but he was so broken so lost so -
-betrayed.
Something cracks inside of him, an irreplaceable piece of him splintering off to shatter at his feet. Where only moments ago he was angry, and hurt, a raging inferno of emotions warring inside of him, he was now calm, the storm quiet. Was this how his efforts were rewarded? Was this what he got for finally opening up to Izuku and being honest for once in his miserable life?
Dabi was right , why didn't I listen?
There was no love for people like them. No second chances. Dabi had tried to tell him, had tried to make him see, but Shouto was insistent. That small part of him that still wanted to be saved, that still wanted to go home-
Well, that part was gone.
Now it was Izuku's turn. Shouto would make him pay for this, for hurting him so badly. For proving all the voices in his head right. A smile crosses his face, but it's wrong. Even he can feel that.
"Goodbye then, Izuku."
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fractallogic · 1 year
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You know, I haven’t fully wrapped my head around how I’m going to incorporate it, but I had a great idea for this grant proposal that’s making me very excited
Because I think. finally. I will be able to justify testing arabic-speaking children. I will get to find out what kinds of errors THEY make learning my arabiclike made-up language.
And plus I’m realizing that I like portland more than eugene, and oops, the two Islamic schools and the one Arabic-medium school are all in the portland area oh no I will have to spend so much time in portland if I get this grant oh well
…plus I just really want to be able to stay in one place for three more years, and let scone live in Oregon like he’s really wanted to for YEARS.
I love arabic and I love my pastry and I love how kids do language. I am very excited about this part of the project and I just. The likelihood of it happening is vanishingly low. But it’s more likely to get this grant than getting a TT job. So.
#a ~10% hit rate for grants sucks yes; but compared to the ~0.5% hit rate I’ve had for prof jobs…#also new PI maybe you can support me for a year like you suggested you might be able to in a lab manager-cum-postdoc kind of role#that would be great. I would do that too.#I will happily continue leaning on my network to keep me in academia#as full of toxic bullshit as it is. sigh.#it hurts to feel like I’m so full of promise and so good at what I do and for some reason everything is just arbitrary#maybe I get to do this study; maybe I get to HAVE A JOB#like even working with this PI; everyone before has been all ‘mmm idk that doesn’t sound like a good use of resources’#and so I was like oh okay this is never gonna happen that’s fine#but I’m talking to her one day (because when you get the chance to chat with the dept head you should!)#and she’s like ‘but wait why would it be not a good use of resources? I think this is potentially an interesting idea#so write me up a proposal and we’ll see if we can flesh it out some more!’#so even the answer of ‘sure!’ to ‘maybe I can do this study… maybe’ I’d foreign and strange#same thing for this hockey concussion etc stuff#like I say ‘this is my INCREDIBLE pie in the sky idea; maybe someday#…but seems unlikely’#and my current PI goes no yeah wait here are some things I’ve thought about in that direction#…and I happen to live next to retired NHL players… but it would be very weird of me to ask them so can’t do that right now; but future!!#and so I’m just walking around UO going ‘wait I really can just. do things? people are interested in my ideas?’#(please remember that at a formative time in my research upbringing my advisor called me boring and also that he might not pass me#and like. you get rejected from research jobs and TT jobs and grants and everything#so it’s no WONDER I’m like ‘ah yes my ideas are stupid and boring and why would anyone else be interested in them!’ like any academic is)#anyway it’s amazing how little we as academics ask for#and still get told lol no that’s very extravagant of you#because it’s supposed to be a ~vocation~ and a ~calling~ so we should live like monks#but you know what monks are actually respected members of society and have food and shelter and care provided to them#so yeah if you want me to be a monk of linguistics then you need to fucking treat me like one
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guy who's been doing a lot of weird musing on death and grief, trying to do anything else: hm, getting a lot of weird death and grief vibes from this...
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