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#November 30 2024
royalarchivist · 3 months
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Pac: Hello, hello Etoiles!
Etoiles: Hello Pac, my bro!
[They start playfully beating the crap out of each other]
Pac: Hello bro!
Etoiles: My Brazilian bro! My Brazilian bro!
Pac: My French bro!
Etoiles: [Laughing] My Brazilian bro! Oh, Pac is sht at the game, look!
Pac: My French garçon! My French garçon!
[They both laugh]
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temeyes · 12 days
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this just in: former nekoma captain forgets he's STILL in his 20's
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deadpresidents · 12 days
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"What emerged in two interviews with Trump, and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisers and confidants, were the outlines of an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world. To carry out a deportation operation designed to remove more than 11 millions people from the country, Trump told me, he would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military, both at the border and inland. He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress, according to top advisers. He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney who doesn't carry out his order to prosecute someone, breaking with a tradition of independent law enforcement that dates from America's founding. He is weighing pardons for every one of his supporters accused of attacking the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, more than 800 of whom have pleaded guilty or been convicted by a jury. He might not come to the aid of an attacked ally in Europe or Asia if he felt that country wasn't paying enough for its own defense. He would gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen."
-- "How Far Would He Go", TIME Magazine's interviews with Donald Trump, April 30, 2024.
I know we're saturated in coverage of Trump and it's easy (and probably better for our mental health) to usually ignore most of the articles when we see them, especially since he's so full of shit and infuriating. But it's also important to recognize that he is going to be the Republican nominee for President and he could absolutely be elected in November, and if you thought his first term was scary and dangerous, you need to understand that in a second term he's going to have people around him that are better prepared and VERY willing to do the crazy shit that he wants to do to this country. They aren't even hiding the fact that they are seeking vengeance against political opponents whom they feel have wronged them, and are ready to fundamentally dismantle the democratic foundations that are barely holding this country together after nearly 250 years.
Just look at what Trump says about the people who he incited to attack the United States Capitol in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 election and halt the peaceful transfer of power that has happened every four years since 1789:
"Trump has sought to recast an insurrectionist riot as an act of patriotism. 'I call them the J-6 patriots,' he say. When I ask whether he would consider pardoning every one of them, he says, 'Yes, absolutely.' As Trump faces dozens of felony charges, including for election interference, conspiracy to defraud the United States, willful retention of national-security secrets, and falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments, he has tried to turn legal peril into a badge of honor."
Oh, and please note that Trump -- a former President of the United States and possible future President of the United States -- said on the record in these interviews with TIME: "There is a definite antiwhite feeling in the country and that can't be allowed either." We are at a point where political leaders are outright saying that in this country again, and it's because of Donald Trump.
So, take the time to recognize that Trump is straight-up telling us the country we're going to be living in if he wins again in November. And understand that your vote matters -- and WHO you vote for matters -- because, as I've been saying for years now, ELECTIONS HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES.
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for the new year, i have decided to make a couple edits and additions to the almighty Calendar. happy 2024.
IT JUST HAPPENS
DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
Thursday the 20th
The Fifth of Wednesday
Second Week of May: Eurovision
Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating
Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif
WEEKLY EVENTS (at least the ones i celebrate)
Every Monday: Garfield Hates Mondays
Every Tuesday: Tom Servo Tuesday
Every Wednesday: It Is Wednesday My Dudes
Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday
Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday
Every Saturday: Sea Slug Saturday
Every Sunday: Energy Sword Sunday
YEARLY EVENTS
January 1: Copyright Expiration Day
January 8: Spiders Georg Day
January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 18: Bug Race
January 29: Threshold Day
All of February: Funguary
ALSO All of February: Femslash February
February 3: WOE, VANILLA EXTRACT BE UPON YE
February 13: Galentines Day
February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day
March 9: Miku Day
March 10: Mario Day
March 14: Pi Day
March 15: Ides of March
March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today
April 1: Mishapocalypse
April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary
April 3: Dannypocalypse
April 8: Rex Manning Day
ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD
April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes
ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day
April 20: haha 420 blaze it
April 25: The Perfect Date
April 28: Ed Balls Day
April 30: It's Gonna Be May
All of May: Mermay
May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily
May 4: May the 4th Be With You
May 5: Revenge of the Fifth
May 25: The Glorious 25th of May
All of June: Pride Month
ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
June 5: Barricade Day
ALSO June 5: RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD
June 12: Another Homestuck Day
June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck
June 22: Summerween
All of July: Disability Pride Month
July 13-15: Dashcon Anniversary
July 20: Moon Landing
September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her
September 11: Mole Interest Monday
September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day
September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-
All of October: SKELETON WAR
ALSO All of October: People Draw A Lot Month? (so many names)
October 3: Mean Girls Day
ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist Day
October 13: Treat Yo' Self
October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day
October 31: HALLOWEEN
November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day
November 19: Goncharov
November 29: HENRY KISSINGER IS DEAD
All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?
December 10: Please, It's Christmas
December 12: Hawaii Part 2
December 23: Christmas Adam
December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS
ALSO December 24: Cabinet Man Day
December 27: Porn Ban Effective Today
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treasure-mimic · 8 months
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So, let me try and put everything together here, because I really do think it needs to be talked about.
Today, Unity announced that it intends to apply a fee to use its software. Then it got worse.
For those not in the know, Unity is the most popular free to use video game development tool, offering a basic version for individuals who want to learn how to create games or create independently alongside paid versions for corporations or people who want more features. It's decent enough at this job, has issues but for the price point I can't complain, and is the idea entry point into creating in this medium, it's a very important piece of software.
But speaking of tools, the CEO is a massive one. When he was the COO of EA, he advocated for using, what out and out sounds like emotional manipulation to coerce players into microtransactions.
"A consumer gets engaged in a property, they might spend 10, 20, 30, 50 hours on the game and then when they're deep into the game they're well invested in it. We're not gouging, but we're charging and at that point in time the commitment can be pretty high."
He also called game developers who don't discuss monetization early in the planning stages of development, quote, "fucking idiots".
So that sets the stage for what might be one of the most bald-faced greediest moves I've seen from a corporation in a minute. Most at least have the sense of self-preservation to hide it.
A few hours ago, Unity posted this announcement on the official blog.
Effective January 1, 2024, we will introduce a new Unity Runtime Fee that’s based on game installs. We will also add cloud-based asset storage, Unity DevOps tools, and AI at runtime at no extra cost to Unity subscription plans this November. We are introducing a Unity Runtime Fee that is based upon each time a qualifying game is downloaded by an end user. We chose this because each time a game is downloaded, the Unity Runtime is also installed. Also we believe that an initial install-based fee allows creators to keep the ongoing financial gains from player engagement, unlike a revenue share.
Now there are a few red flags to note in this pitch immediately.
Unity is planning on charging a fee on all games which use its engine.
This is a flat fee per number of installs.
They are using an always online runtime function to determine whether a game is downloaded.
There is just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to start, not helped by this FAQ which doubled down on a lot of the major issues people had.
I guess let's start with what people noticed first. Because it's using a system baked into the software itself, Unity would not be differentiating between a "purchase" and a "download". If someone uninstalls and reinstalls a game, that's two downloads. If someone gets a new computer or a new console and downloads a game already purchased from their account, that's two download. If someone pirates the game, the studio will be asked to pay for that download.
Q: How are you going to collect installs? A: We leverage our own proprietary data model. We believe it gives an accurate determination of the number of times the runtime is distributed for a given project. Q: Is software made in unity going to be calling home to unity whenever it's ran, even for enterprice licenses? A: We use a composite model for counting runtime installs that collects data from numerous sources. The Unity Runtime Fee will use data in compliance with GDPR and CCPA. The data being requested is aggregated and is being used for billing purposes. Q: If a user reinstalls/redownloads a game / changes their hardware, will that count as multiple installs? A: Yes. The creator will need to pay for all future installs. The reason is that Unity doesn’t receive end-player information, just aggregate data. Q: What's going to stop us being charged for pirated copies of our games? A: We do already have fraud detection practices in our Ads technology which is solving a similar problem, so we will leverage that know-how as a starting point. We recognize that users will have concerns about this and we will make available a process for them to submit their concerns to our fraud compliance team.
This is potentially related to a new system that will require Unity Personal developers to go online at least once every three days.
Starting in November, Unity Personal users will get a new sign-in and online user experience. Users will need to be signed into the Hub with their Unity ID and connect to the internet to use Unity. If the internet connection is lost, users can continue using Unity for up to 3 days while offline. More details to come, when this change takes effect.
It's unclear whether this requirement will be attached to any and all Unity games, though it would explain how they're theoretically able to track "the number of installs", and why the methodology for tracking these installs is so shit, as we'll discuss later.
Unity claims that it will only leverage this fee to games which surpass a certain threshold of downloads and yearly revenue.
Only games that meet the following thresholds qualify for the Unity Runtime Fee: Unity Personal and Unity Plus: Those that have made $200,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 200,000 lifetime game installs. Unity Pro and Unity Enterprise: Those that have made $1,000,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 1,000,000 lifetime game installs.
They don't say how they're going to collect information on a game's revenue, likely this is just to say that they're only interested in squeezing larger products (games like Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail, Fate Grand Order, Among Us, and Fall Guys) and not every 2 dollar puzzle platformer that drops on Steam. But also, these larger products have the easiest time porting off of Unity and the most incentives to, meaning realistically those heaviest impacted are going to be the ones who just barely meet this threshold, most of them indie developers.
Aggro Crab Games, one of the first to properly break this story, points out that systems like the Xbox Game Pass, which is already pretty predatory towards smaller developers, will quickly inflate their "lifetime game installs" meaning even skimming the threshold of that 200k revenue, will be asked to pay a fee per install, not a percentage on said revenue.
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[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Hey Gamers!
Today, Unity (the engine we use to make our games) announced that they'll soon be taking a fee from developers for every copy of the game installed over a certain threshold - regardless of how that copy was obtained.
Guess who has a somewhat highly anticipated game coming to Xbox Game Pass in 2024? That's right, it's us and a lot of other developers.
That means Another Crab's Treasure will be free to install for the 25 million Game Pass subscribers. If a fraction of those users download our game, Unity could take a fee that puts an enormous dent in our income and threatens the sustainability of our business.
And that's before we even think about sales on other platforms, or pirated installs of our game, or even multiple installs by the same user!!!
This decision puts us and countless other studios in a position where we might not be able to justify using Unity for our future titles. If these changes aren't rolled back, we'll be heavily considering abandoning our wealth of Unity expertise we've accumulated over the years and starting from scratch in a new engine. Which is really something we'd rather not do.
On behalf of the dev community, we're calling on Unity to reverse the latest in a string of shortsighted decisions that seem to prioritize shareholders over their product's actual users.
I fucking hate it here.
-Aggro Crab - END DESCRIPTION]
That fee, by the way, is a flat fee. Not a percentage, not a royalty. This means that any games made in Unity expecting any kind of success are heavily incentivized to cost as much as possible.
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[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table listing the various fees by number of Installs over the Install Threshold vs. version of Unity used, ranging from $0.01 to $0.20 per install. END DESCRIPTION]
Basic elementary school math tells us that if a game comes out for $1.99, they will be paying, at maximum, 10% of their revenue to Unity, whereas jacking the price up to $59.99 lowers that percentage to something closer to 0.3%. Obviously any company, especially any company in financial desperation, which a sudden anchor on all your revenue is going to create, is going to choose the latter.
Furthermore, and following the trend of "fuck anyone who doesn't ask for money", Unity helpfully defines what an install is on their main site.
While I'm looking at this page as it exists now, it currently says
The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.
However, I saw a screenshot saying something different, and utilizing the Wayback Machine we can see that this phrasing was changed at some point in the few hours since this announcement went up. Instead, it reads:
The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming or web browser is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.
Screenshot for posterity:
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That would mean web browser games made in Unity would count towards this install threshold. You could legitimately drive the count up simply by continuously refreshing the page. The FAQ, again, doubles down.
Q: Does this affect WebGL and streamed games? A: Games on all platforms are eligible for the fee but will only incur costs if both the install and revenue thresholds are crossed. Installs - which involves initialization of the runtime on a client device - are counted on all platforms the same way (WebGL and streaming included).
And, what I personally consider to be the most suspect claim in this entire debacle, they claim that "lifetime installs" includes installs prior to this change going into effect.
Will this fee apply to games using Unity Runtime that are already on the market on January 1, 2024? Yes, the fee applies to eligible games currently in market that continue to distribute the runtime. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.
Again, again, doubled down in the FAQ.
Q: Are these fees going to apply to games which have been out for years already? If you met the threshold 2 years ago, you'll start owing for any installs monthly from January, no? (in theory). It says they'll use previous installs to determine threshold eligibility & then you'll start owing them for the new ones. A: Yes, assuming the game is eligible and distributing the Unity Runtime then runtime fees will apply. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.
That would involve billing companies for using their software before telling them of the existence of a bill. Holding their actions to a contract that they performed before the contract existed!
Okay. I think that's everything. So far.
There is one thing that I want to mention before ending this post, unfortunately it's a little conspiratorial, but it's so hard to believe that anyone genuinely thought this was a good idea that it's stuck in my brain as a significant possibility.
A few days ago it was reported that Unity's CEO sold 2,000 shares of his own company.
On September 6, 2023, John Riccitiello, President and CEO of Unity Software Inc (NYSE:U), sold 2,000 shares of the company. This move is part of a larger trend for the insider, who over the past year has sold a total of 50,610 shares and purchased none.
I would not be surprised if this decision gets reversed tomorrow, that it was literally only made for the CEO to short his own goddamn company, because I would sooner believe that this whole thing is some idiotic attempt at committing fraud than a real monetization strategy, even knowing how unfathomably greedy these people can be.
So, with all that said, what do we do now?
Well, in all likelihood you won't need to do anything. As I said, some of the biggest names in the industry would be directly affected by this change, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not just going to take it lying down. After all, the only way to stop a greedy CEO is with a greedier CEO, right?
(I fucking hate it here.)
And that's not mentioning the indie devs who are already talking about abandoning the engine.
[Links display tweets from the lead developer of Among Us saying it'd be less costly to hire people to move the game off of Unity and Cult of the Lamb's official twitter saying the game won't be available after January 1st in response to the news.]
That being said, I'm still shaken by all this. The fact that Unity is openly willing to go back and punish its developers for ever having used the engine in the past makes me question my relationship to it.
The news has given rise to the visibility of free, open source alternative Godot, which, if you're interested, is likely a better option than Unity at this point. Mostly, though, I just hope we can get out of this whole, fucking, environment where creatives are treated as an endless mill of free profits that's going to be continuously ratcheted up and up to drive unsustainable infinite corporate growth that our entire economy is based on for some fuckin reason.
Anyways, that's that, I find having these big posts that break everything down to be helpful.
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breelandwalker · 5 months
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2024 Witches' Calendar
For all my witches out there, here's a handy list of the 2024 dates for the solstices, quarter days, full and new moons, and special events. I've listed my sources at the bottom.
Dates and times for all events are calculated for Eastern Standard Time, USA, Northern Hemisphere. Adjust for your location as needed and check the DarkSky Placefinder to see what special events will be visible in your area. Enjoy!
Solstices, Harvests, and Quarter Days
February 1-2 - Imbolc / Candlemas
March 19 - Spring Equinox / Ostara
April 30-May 1 - Beltane / May Day
June 20 - Summer Solstice / Midsummer / Litha
August 1 - Lughnasadh / Lammas / Summer Harvest
September 22 - Autumn Equinox / Mabon / Fall Harvest
October 31 - Samhain / Halloween / Final Harvest
December 21 - Winter Solstice / Yule
Full Moons
January 25 - Wolf Moon ♌
February 24 - Snow Moon ♍
March 25 - Worm Moon ♎
April 23 - Pink Moon ♏
May 23 - Flower Moon ♐
June 21 - Strawberry Moon ♑
July 21 - Thunder Moon (aka Buck Moon) ♑
August 19 - Sturgeon Moon* ♒
September 17 - Harvest Moon* ♓
October 17 - Hunter's Moon (aka Blood Moon)* ♈
November 15 - Frost Moon (or Beaver Moon)* ♉
December 15 - Cold Moon ♊
*- Supermoon
Fun Fact: The title of Harvest Moon is given to either the September or October full moon, whichever falls closest to the autumn equinox. Once again this year, that month will be September.
New Moons
January 11 ♑
February 9 ♒
March 10 ♓
April 8 ♈
May 7 ♉
June 6 ♊
July 5 ♋
August 4 ♌
September 2 ♍
October 2 ♎
November 1 ♏
December 1 ♐
December 30 (black moon) ♑
Special Celestial Events
January 3-4 - Quadrantids meteor shower peak
March 25 - Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
April 8 - Total solar eclipse
April 22-23 - Lyrids meteor shower peak
May 6-7 - Eta Aquarids meteor shower peak
August 11-13 - Perseids meteor shower peak
August 19 - Sturgeon Supermoon / Seasonal Blue Moon
September 17 - Harvest Supermoon / Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
October 2 - "Ring of Fire" solar eclipse
October 17 - Hunter's Supermoon
October 21-22 - Orionids meteor shower peak
November 15 - Frost Supermoon
November 16-17 - Leonids meteor shower peak
December 13-14 - Geminids meteor shower peak
December 30 - Black Moon
(Check the DarkSky Placefinder to see what will be visible in your area!)
Mercury Retrogrades (in case you need them)
April 1 - April 24
August 4 - August 27
November 25 - December 15
Happy Witching!
SOURCES & FURTHER READING:
Bree's Lunar Calendar Series
Bree's Secular Celebrations Series
Moon Info - Full Moon Dates for 2024
Calendar-12 - 2024 Moon Phases
Full Moonology - 2024 Full Moon Calendar
AstroStyle - All the 2024 Full Moons
Your Zodiac Sign - Astrology Calendar 2024
Old Farmer's Almanac - Mercury Retrograde Dates 2023-2024
Lonely Planet - Best Star-gazing Events of 2024
Sea and Sky - Astronomy Calendar of Celestial Events 2024
DarkSky International - Dark Sky Placefinder for Stargazing
Pagan Grimoire - Wheel of the Year: The 8 Festivals in the Wiccan Calendar (2024 Edition)
=
If you're enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊
EDIT: Mercury is stationed direct on Jan 1st, 2024. The source I used which stated it was in retrograde until the 18th had a typo.
EDIT: Fixed the zodiac signs for the full moons using a new source.
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facts-i-just-made-up · 2 months
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Who made the biggest sword ever?
"Biggest" can mean a few things:
The heaviest sword of all time is the 468lb "Le Glaive Chungeuse" of King Louis LXIX, so heavy nobody could wield it.
The longest sword ever made was the Gobai-nodachi, or "quintuple length longsword" forged by Masayoshi Johnson for a ceremony said to have resulted in the deaths of everyone present.
The thickest sword, three feet thick but only six inches long, was the Hungarian Chodesaber, which was used mostly for flattening dough.
The widest sword is currently the Grand Coronation Stub of King Charles, ruler of England as of March 2024. Shaped like a shallow isosceles triangle, its tip is almost 165 degrees.
The most expensive sword ever forged was the Diamond Sprinklesword of Muffy von Fitzwiggle-Plumnugget, which a rich Californian gave to his chihuahua for its third birthday. It could have paid to feed 30 billion people for five lifetimes.
The "biggest" sword in terms of fame and notoriety is the Sword of Damocles, which metaphorically hangs over the head of those with power as a reminder to be responsible lest they grow greedy or despotic. It has not been seen since around November of 2016.
Though not "big" per se, the sharpest sword of all time is currently being constructed at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, and will be exactly one hydrogen ion thick at its point. It will be used exclusively to get the gunk out from the fingernails of the intern who is forging it. And God knows Harold needs it, just look at them on his facebook they're fucking disgusting.
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emilyscartoons · 6 months
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NEW - "EMILY IN BRAZIL" Booklet! 🇧🇷 🥳
n 2022 I visited Brazil for the first time and fell completely in love. I made lots of comics about the experience (mostly me being stupid) and collated the best ones into this booklet
It’s funny that I made this comic about how I didn’t expect the trip to be overtly transformative… and then it actually was lol 🥹 obrigada gente
Order before November 30! My shop will be shut from Dec 1 until 2024
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multifandomgirl08 · 9 months
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Mini Verstappen Series Masterlist
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Paring: Single Dad!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader
At the end of 2020, Max Verstappen gets the surprise of his life when he finds out that his ex-girlfriend had given birth to a son, his son. A year and a half later Max's longtime girlfriend of 8 months finds out about his son Nico.
This is an ongoing series. I'm always adding to it. The masterlist changes often.
I do take requests for this. If there is anything that you want to see happen in this series just message me in my ask box. All of my normal request rules apply.
Reader Face Claim: Hande Erçel
Total Published Word Count: 50,339 Words
Disclaimer: This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction, so enjoy it as such.
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𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑂𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟
0.0. Prologue - [December 2020]
Max finds out that he has a son. And it changes his world.
0.1. Be Something You'll Love and Understand [December 2020] Outtakes
He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.
0.5. The Moment You Smiled At Me - [November 2021]
The evening that started it all for Max and Reader.
1. Mini Verstappen - [July 2022]
You get a small surprise the first time you visit Max’s apartment.
1.5. Girlfriend? - [October 2022] Request
You meet Nico.
1.8. Caught - [June 4, 2023] 18+ Outtakes
Lando swears he knocked before walking into Max's hotel room, maybe he should have yelled before opening the door.
2. Change - [November 26, 2023 + January 2, 2024]
It’s the end of the F1 season. Some things are changing for the Verstappen's.
SMAU #1. The Secrets Out - [December 31, 2023 - January 1, 2024]
It’s the start of a new year. You and Max decide to tell the world about Nico.
3. A Lioness Protects Her Cub - [May 5 - 9, 16, 23, 2024] Request
Reporters are vultures and Max picks out a ring.
4. Day At The Karting Track - [June 15, 2024]
Nico starts karting. It opens a small can of worms.
SMAU #2. Through Max's Eyes - [March 8, July 30 - August 15, 2024]
Max’s Instagram posts about Y/N, and a small life update from the couple.
5. Something Bad, Something Good - [August 17 - 19, 2024] Request
Reader deals with the haters on Twitter, Nico calls Reader Mama. Max claps back at the haters on Instagram like the malewife that he strives to be.
5.5 Time to Move? - [August 25, September 15, 2024]
When Max had brought up moving, it was because the lease on his apartment was going to be up at the end of the year. Maybe it was time to find a new place for all of you.
6. Race Day - [October 20, 2024] Request
Nico tags along with Max during a race day in Monza, well as much as he can.
6.1 Wedding Headcanon - [February 2, 2025]
Headcanons from Max and the Reader's wedding. Social Media posts from their honeymoon.
6.5. Give and Take (Kind of Love We Make) - [February 28, 2025] 18+ Request (The Morning After)
Max had a plan in his head for the evening. He had mapped out the track before, and intended to keep to his strategy until they got home.
6.7. To Constantly Be Away - [March 10, 2025]
Second race of the season and Max is already having a tough time with the car. Missing his family only makes it worse.
7. From Three to Four - [April 4, 2025]
Reader tells Max that your expecting, he doesn't have the best reaction at first.
8. Stones To Throw At My Creator - [July 2025]
He wasn't his father. He would never raise Nico like that.
SMAU #3. The Verstappens - [January 8, February 2, May 26, December 3, 2025]
Big things happen to Max and the reader in 2025. Moving, getting married, and a little surprise that neither of them were expecting.
8.7 Give Me Eyes To See - [December 7, 2025]
Nikita's first few days at home. Flashbacks to moments from the reader's pregnancy.
8.8 Nikita's First Christmas - [December 24-25, 2025]
Nico's first Christmas with his baby brother.
8.9 Ghost of Bittersweet Memories - [January 25, 2026]
A few of the drivers visit you and Max for the day, and you end up talking with Charles about a woman that he meets at an FIA event. (This is the conversation I referenced in Part 2 of Bittersweet.)
9. Glass Houses - [February 17, 22, 23, 2026]
When Raymond had called you about going and getting lunch, you should have known that something was going on.
9.5. All That I Can Give - [May 10, 2026]
Another Mother's Day and one of Nikita's firsts.
9.7. On Sleepless Roads, The Sleepless Go - [December 2-3, 2026]
It's the early hours of Nikita's first birthday, and you can't help but look back at the day you brought your son into the world.
SMAU #4. A Year in Moments - [February 10, May 28, August 2 & 27, October 21 & 31, 2026]
SMAU #5. - [2027]
SMAU #6. - [2028]
10. The End of An Era - [November 2030]
The days leading up to Max retiring from Formula 1. The Article announcing his retirement. And the last race of his F1 career.
11. Right On Track - [2036]
Checking in with the Verstsppens in 2036.
12. Letters From The Past - [November 17, 2038]
Max and Reader sit down to read the letters that Amelia (Nico's birth mom) wrote.
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𝐸 𝒳 𝒯 𝑅 𝒜 𝒮
Pinterest Board
Playlist
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Dividers made by @cafekitsune | Banner made by me
Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen, @shelbyteller , @geniusalpaca
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memser · 5 months
Text
mcr blogger dash in 2025
🪳 buggerard
still so much debate about sexualizing gerards moans in Self-Flagellant but no ones talking about why in that muffled intro mikey is asked to leave the studio??
#im telling you something happened #frerard solos dni
🌫️ coquettegee Follow
yes in the new doc lindsey had any pronouns on her intro card but so did gerard. i think they just used his as a template and its some sort of error
🔁 singleangelicnote
all your posts are still using he/him for gerard and this sounds terribly gendercrit get help op
🔁 coquettegee
i see him as more of a femboy type and i have since dd, don't try to police me
🔁 kondemnedkadaver
???
#CAN WE KILL THIS GUY
🐕 omgee
ROSY HAS A SISTER!!!!!!!!
#WORLD PEACE
🎙️amptits
"november 22nd of 2024 right before the teaser dropped" uh oh guys
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Anonymous asked
when will you people address the themes of necrophilia in the limited vinyl comic
🪨 fyeahfoundationsofdecay
sorry i didnt have 200 dollars and i dont care
#the larger mcr conscious has forgotten he jerked it to horror movies
🌄 infectionpiece
a bralette and the comfort flannel
#i hauve
🧘 clergy-xxx
I have some. bad news. Frank did not
yt.be/78hskUi83Hn2nb67mdns00
🤹‍♀️ cryptclown
10 MINUTE AD WALL FOR THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE JUST JOKING. OR INSANE
✴️ grifties Follow
selling ltd edition frank iero binder!! it still has the skeleton decals and it still glows in most low light. from the first run with that chemical they had to recall so probably don't wear it without a shirt on top or if you don't have insurance lol. 30 bucks just dm me.
🧘crypt-xxx
i respect the hustle BUT WE HAVE STOP RESELLING THE BIOHAZARD MERCH
🦕 toro-saurus
October 25th 2022
RAY😍😍😍😍 RAY TORO🤗🤗🤗🤯🤯🤯🤯RAAYYYYYY
🔁 toro-saurus
omg my old post i was so correct
#meeee when the new single dropped #how does he find the time truly
🤺 singleangelicnote
Guys since why does that new pope follow Gerard's private account on Globeus theres only like 80 people on there she HAS to know
#THE GAY POPE???
🪳 buggerard
dude i lost my implant magnet 🥲 im using my old touchscreen to post on here
#gawd im having swarm tour livestream flashbacks
🧘 clergy-xxx
I actually went to a few shows during danger days and mikey would often just turn around during the destroya incidents. theres video on youtube if you can get past the ad walls
🤹‍♀️ cryptclown
oh okay super awesome!!! so mikey leaving during antics isnt new. did frank leave too?
🪨 fyeahfoundationsofdecay
does anyone remember when the heavn photos came out. i had a job then and i saw them literally a year later
🔁 buggerard
november 22nd of 2024 right before the teaser dropped
#wild night to be online tbh
🌬️ mesmer
i got concussed what happened sunday
🔁 mesmer
THEY DID WHAT
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bbbuckaroo · 5 days
Text
Tommy’s Timeline According To Lou’s Age Prediction:
So curious about Lou saying Tommy is in his late 30’s in that new Cameo. He himself was born in 1984 and turning 40 in November so I’m assuming he’s using his own age. So his timeline to be turning 40 in 2024 would be:
*note: most of this is Google research*
2002 (18-19): Joins the Army as an Officer (about twelve weeks of flight training, not sure if the basic training is required but regardless, we’ll call it a year) which you can do as a “fast track” per Google
2003 (19): Officially becomes pilot for the army
This is where it gets interesting. In exchange for flight school the army requires you do six years of service unless of course you are discharged, presumably honorably.
In order for him to be turning 40 in 2024 he had to be no older than 21 when Chimney joined the 118 in 2005.
2003-2005 (19-21): Actively flying for the army
So something must have happened after those 2-3 years that lead to him being discharged before the ten years. Which I REALLY hope they touch on in a Tommy Begins *nudge nudge Tim*
2005 (21): Starts at the 118, Chimney begins at 118 soon thereafter
2008 (24): Hen begins at 118, Capt. Gerrard is booted
2016 (32): Bobby begins at 118 after ~8 captains between him and Gerrard
2017 (33): Tommy leaves the 118 to go to Harbor/Buck begins at 118 (hello invisible string)
2017-2024 (33-40): Pilot at Harbor, meets Buck year he is turning 40 (especially with Lou’s late birthday so technically still late 30’s)
So in closing, in order for Lou’s timeline to work, Tommy was only flying with the army for 2-3 years vs. the required six so something unusual had to happen for him to leave.
Summary:
1984: Born
2002-2003 (18-19): Joins army and completes officer/pilot training
2003-2005 (19-21): Helicopter pilot for the army
2005-2017 (21-33): Firefighter with 118
2017-2024 (33-turning 40): Flying with Harbor
2024: Meets love of his life who is now 32 (eight year age difference) *wedding in the next couple of years would be lovely-nobody’s getting any younger!*
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f1version · 11 months
Note
11. “am I your favorite?” “I like your dog a bit more than you I won’t lie” with max but instead of dog it’s cats🫶🫶
P1 IN YOUR HEART ★ MV1
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pairing: max verstappen x fem! gf! reader
summary: 5 times you told Max his cats were P1 in your heart, and 1 time he did a Grand Slam.
warnings: 5 + 1 format ( it’s my first time doing it ), fluff, teasing & joking, established relationship, sassy and jimmy are the favorites ( duh! )
word count: 1.7k
note: this just reminded me how much i LOVE writing fluff, thank you kay <3
general masterlist ★ 1k special
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1. SEPTEMBER 30, 2023
The first time it happened, it was Max’s birthday. It wasn’t race week and the obnoxious party Red Bull was going to throw him, was the following day. That left you, Max, Jimmy, and Sassy against the world.
“You are so pretty,” Max said while petting Sassy. You smiled, he loved those little beings so much.
“They may be my favorite thing on this house” You answered jokingly, Jimmy crawling into your lap “Taking P1 indeed”
Max looked at you funny because was he really behind his cats? You bet. Max Verstappen loved being first, even if it meant fighting his cats to be P1 in your heart.
“Oh really?” the Dutchman teased “I’ll be the judge of that” He finished as he picked up Jimmy from your lap and ran away.
2. NOVEMBER 28, 2023
The second time it happened, it was Tuesday, two days after Abu Dhabi. Max had already secured his third world championship back in September, but RedBull had kept both of you there until Monday for partying.
You had just arrived at your shared apartment in Monaco, Jimmy and Sassy surprisingly purring at your arrival, tangling in your feet.
“Hi lovelies!” you said softly, petting both of their tiny heads “How are my favorite beings in the universe?”
“Oh, now they’re your universe?” Max complained, leaving his bags on the floor to pet his cats too “I figured a three-time world champion would be”
You just laughed at his childish behavior “Oh shut up, Maxie. Let them have their moment”
3. DECEMBER 31, 2023
The third time, was on New Year’s Day. You were at a party in Monaco, the sky adorned with stars, and the place was full of friends, family, and colleagues; One minute away from giving a warm welcome to 2024.
Max was holding you close, one arm around your waist, the other one caressing your arm. Your arms were wrapped around his torso, eyes focused on the stars before they drifted to him.
“Maxie” You called, he hummed, his arm around your waist losing a bit. “What’s your year's resolution?”
You and Max usually took that question as a joke, even after you achieved the majority of last year's. Max thought about it for at least 8 seconds before a grin popped on his lips.
“That one’s obvious. I will overtake the cats and become P1 in your heart,” He said, unserious. You laughed.
“Hard one. They will always be my favorite”
Max rolled his eyes, bringing you close one more time that year, his eyes shined with happiness and little mischief.
His temple met yours.
“Well, they don’t get to kiss you right…three, two…now”
Cheers and celebrations were shared while Max cupped your cheeks, kissing you sweetly.
“Happy new year, schatje”
4. JANUARY 29, 2024
The fourth time was on purpose. Max was away in Milton Keynes for testing and practice, you were home with two little creatures.
It had been a long day at the office and you missed Max, so around dusk, you decided to tease him a bit with a picture of the cats.
you: [ 1 image attached ]
you: actually my favorites ever EVER
Max laughed at loud when he saw it, getting a whistle from Christian and a pat on the back from Danny (they had just wrapped up a meeting). Max rolled his eyes, focusing back on your messages. He could win this one.
max: you know what’s my favorite EVER?
you: what?
max: [ 1 image attached ]
max: the new car😍😍😍
you: i could fight you and your vroom vroom AND win
max: good luck with that schatje
5. FEBRUARY 14, 2024
The fifth time was on Valentine’s Day. That morning, when buying groceries, you found yourself in the middle of the pet section, buying a couple some cat accessories and costumes for Valentine’s Day.
You were so eager to try it on the cats that when you got home, you discarded the other bags in the kitchen knowing Max would organize everything while you styled the two furry demons.
“Max! Look at their little costumes!” You said picking up Sassy, she had a heart-shaped antenna headband and a tutu.
“I’m one hundred percent sure she will hate you for the rest of her life” Max answered picking up his phone to take a photo.
“Oh yeah?” You challenged, picking up Jimmy so Max could take a photo of him too. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, since I’m hers and Jim’s favorite… and they’re my favorite”
“Really, schat? On Valentine’s Day?” Max said in faked disbelief “I knew you hated me, but this is heartless”
You just laughed, turning around so you could take off the costumes before they were destroyed.
“I love you, babe!”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Max said “I love you too”
+1 . . . CLOSURE
Finally, it was a “normal” Sunday. Max had a two-week break before the next race, so he took one week off the factory to be with you.
But the thing is, Max, had been acting suspicious. All week long he had been so secretive but also so loving and touchy. What made you realize something was a bit off was his attitude around Friday, Saturday, and today.
On Friday, he decided to go hiking with you, gifting you a beautiful bracelet with three charms: A cat that looked just like Jimmy, a second cat that looked like Sassy, and a couple for both of you. You were used to Max gifting you things, usually, they were simple, handmade items, but he also bought you expensive stuff. You loved everything he gave you.
Then Saturday came. He prepared a dinner date in your favorite Monegasque restaurant, where he gave you flowers and a necklace, it had a heart with an M engraved on it. You loved it.
Even after two days of wonderful gifts and sunshine, Sunday morning was still a surprise. Max decided to wake you up with breakfast in bed and tons of kisses, a lovely morning of you asked anyone.
After that, he said you had to be ready for a picnic at 4 PM, you could have begged him to tell you why but you knew he was stubborn enough to resist everything.
Either way, that’s why you found yourself at the top of Monte Carlo, having a picnic while the sun was burned by the ocean.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s been this weekend?” You asked after taking a sip of wine, it was enchanté.
“Why? Is it out of character?” He asked back jokingly, you rolled your eyes, smiling. “I’m joking”
“I know”
“Follow me”
You grabbed Max’s hand, getting up from the floor. He started walking towards the sunset, golden light shining on his face, blue eyes turning green.
“This past month, we have been talking—daydreaming about a life together” Max started, you nodded “And, yes, we already live together but remember how we wanted more?”
You nodded again, your chest growing warm, this had to be going the place you wanted it to. This had to be the moment you had been waiting for. Max got close, taking your other hand in his as the sky turned pink.
“Well, I figured a couple of months ago before the season started,” He continued “That I want to spend the rest of my days, nights, years, life, and eternity with you”
He started to move away, making up space for a final movement.
“So, I wanted to know,” He knelt “Would you marry me?”
The world stopped. It stopped and even if the sun was setting, daylight had just sprung out from the bottom of Earth.
You started shaking your head yes.
“Yes! Yes, and a million times yes!” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around him.
Max let out a loud sigh, laughing a bit before sliding the ring into your finger and launching himself at you “Thank you, baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so so much”
“I love you so much more, Max”
There were hugs, kisses, laughter, and the dizzying feeling of adrenaline drove the car to the top of the podium. Max, drunk in happiness, cupped your face in his hands.
“Now that's out of the way. Am I your favorite?” He asked, almost laughing, but so hopeful. He was so cute.
“Max Emilian Verstappen!”
“I’m just joking…” He laughed, hugging you for a second and then holding your waist “But am I?”
“I like your cats a bit more than you, I won’t lie”
“Oh for fu-”
That’s when this whole situation clicked for you. Max had started all of this on Friday so it could be like a race weekend, finishing P1 on Sunday’s race.
“Schatje, I’m kidding, you’ve always been my favorite,” You said, now you were cupping his face in your hands “And you just did a Grand Slam,” You said, kissing your future husband.
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burntheedges · 5 months
Text
Maintenance Request
main post & chapter list | 18+ (minors DNI) | ao3 word count: 80k+
Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday
summary: Hot Construction Guy is the bane of your existence - he seems to only pop up at the worst possible moment for you, every time you see him. 
There’s no way there could be something more there.
Right?
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full fic tags/warnings: academia AU, modern AU, one-sided enemies-to-lovers, no outbreak, live music, fluff, banter, everyone is alive, misunderstandings, ex boyfriend who was manipulative and a jerk (only mentioned), no use of y/n, pet names (darlin, gorgeous, honey, baby, sweetheart), later: smut, kissing, grinding, frottage, p in v sex, oral sex (f! and m!receiving), creampie, somnophilia, phone sex, semi-public sex; each chapter will have its own tags a/n: this fic is completely finished! It was my 2023 NaNo project. I’ll post a new chapter every Friday. There are 23 chapters and an epilogue. There is eventually quite a bit of smut, but it’s going to take us a little while to get there. Mind the tags (for the whole fic above and for each chapter). That “one-sided enemies-to-lovers” tag was the motivation for the whole fic — what if only one of you thinks you’re enemies? And here we are. Chapters with smut are marked with *. The dates in each chapter are from a fictional fall semester, 2024. Shoutout to @fanatictypist for reading this and encouraging me 💕 and to the PPCU server. note about reader: in this fic you’re a college professor, vaguely of English literature and poetry. You like live music, you like to read, and Ellie is your niece. You have a best friend named Beth, a sister who is having a rough time, and a difficult mother. I’ve avoided physical descriptions and most clothing descriptions, except when plot-relevant. You are vaguely shorter than Joel. No age is specified, but I imagined 36-year-old Joel here (and 14-year-old Sarah), and most English PhDs wouldn’t get to this type of position until they were 28 or 29 at the earliest, even if they went to grad school right out of undergrad. So you can imagine reader any age from there to mid-30s, or whatever you want, really. 
* = chapter contains smut
Come celebrate the end with me with some fun asks! Ch 23 goes up 5/17 and the epilogue 5/24.
Chapter List
Chapter 1 | 2.4k Wednesday, September 4, second week of the semester
Chapter 2 | 2.4k | preview Friday, September 6, second week of the semester
Chapter 3 | 2.4k | preview Monday, September 16, fourth week of the semester, Friday, September 20, fourth week of the semester
Chapter 4 | 1.8k | preview Interlude
Chapter 5 | 3.4k | preview Friday, September 27, fifth week of the semester Saturday, September 28, fifth week of the semester Monday, September 30, sixth week of the semester
Chapter 6 | 2.1k | preview Wednesday, October 2, sixth week of the semester
Chapter 7 | 2.4k | preview Wednesday, October 9, seventh week of the semester
Chapter 8 | 2.7k | preview Monday, October 14, eighth week of the semester
Chapter 9 | 3.4k | preview Tuesday, October 15, eighth week of the semester Thursday, October 17, eighth week of the semester Friday, October 18, eighth week of the semester Saturday, October 19, eighth week of the semester
Chapter 10 | 5k | preview Monday, October 21, ninth week of the semester
Chapter 11 | 2.4k| preview Tuesday, October 22, ninth week of the semester Thursday, October 24, ninth week of the semester Friday, October 25, ninth week of the semester
Chapter 12 | 8.1k | preview * Friday, October 25, ninth week of the semester
Chapter 13 | 9.3k | preview * Friday, October 25 (still), ninth week of the semester
Chapter 14 | 3.9k | preview Friday, October 25 (still), ninth week of the semester Saturday, October 26, ninth week of the semester
Chapter 15 | 3.6k | preview Saturday, October 26, ninth week of the semester Sunday, October 27, ninth week of the semester
Chapter 16 | 5.8k | preview Tuesday, October 29, tenth week of the semester Friday, November 1, tenth week of the semester
Chapter 17 | 3.2k | preview * Saturday, November 2, tenth week of the semester Sunday, November 3, tenth week of the semester
Chapter 18 | 3.3k | preview * Monday, November 4, eleventh week of the semester
Chapter 19 | 7.6k | preview * Saturday, November 9, eleventh week of the semester Sunday, November 10, eleventh week of the semester
Chapter 20 | 3.3k | preview Saturday, November 16, twelfth week of the semester
Chapter 21 | 3.5k | preview * Friday, November 22, thirteenth week of the semester
Chapter 22 | 2k | preview
Chapter 23 | 5/17 | preview *
Epilogue | 5/24
Moodboards
@sawymredfox made this moodboard and it’s amazing 😩 please go look at it 💕
@djarins-cyare made this wonderful moodboard, I love it so much -- please go look at it! 🧡💚
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breelandwalker · 1 year
Text
2023 Witch's Calendar
For all my witches out there, here's a handy list of the 2023 dates for the major holidays, full and new moons, and special events. I've listed my sources at the bottom. Dates and times for all events are calculated for Eastern Standard Time, USA, Northern Hemisphere. Adjust for your location as needed. Enjoy!
WOTY Holidays and Solstices
February 1-2 - Imbolc
March 20 - Spring Equinox / Ostara
May 1 - Beltane
June 21 - Summer Solstice / Midsummer
August 1 - Lughnasadh
September 23- Autumn Equinox / Mabon
October 31 - Samhain
December 21 - Winter Solstice / Yule
Full Moons
January 6 - Wolf Moon ♋
February 5 - Snow Moon ♌
March 7 - Worm Moon ♍
April 6 - Pink Moon ♎
May 5 - Flower Moon ♏
June 4 - Strawberry Moon ♐
July 3 - Thunder Moon (aka Buck Moon) ♑
August 1 - Sturgeon Moon ♒
August 31 - Blue Moon ♓
September 29- Harvest Moon ♈
October 28 - Hunter's Moon (aka Blood Moon) ♉
November 27 - Frost Moon ♊
December 26 - Cold Moon ♋
Fun Fact: The title of Harvest Moon is given to either the September or October full moon, whichever falls closest to the autumn equinox. In 2023, as in 2022, that month will be September.
New Moons
January 21 ♒
February 20 ♓
March 21 ♈
April 20 ♈
May 19 ♉
June 18 ♊
July 17 ♋
August 16 ♌
September 14 ♍
October 14 ♎
November 13 ♏
December 12 ♐
Special Events
February 20 - 2nd New Moon in lunar month
April 20 - Solar Eclipse
May 5 - Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
August 30 - Blue Moon
September 29 - Penumbral Lunar Eclipse
October 14 - Solar Eclipe (Annular)
October 28 - Lunar Eclipse (Partial)
Mercury Retrogrades (in case you need them)
Dec 29, 2022 - Jan 18, 2023
April 21 - May 14
August 23 - September 15
Dec 13, 2023 - January 1, 2024
SOURCES:
Moon Info - Full Moon 2023
Calendar-12.com - Moon Phases 2023
Full Moonology - Full Moon Calendar 2023
Moon Calendar - Full Moons and New Moons in 2023
Yearly Horoscope - Mercury Retrograde 2023 Dates and Times
Your Zodiac Sign - 2023 Astrology Calendar
The Pagan Grimoire - The Wheel of the Year: The 8 Festivals in the Wiccan Calendar
=
If you're enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊
EDIT: Updated Jan 6, 2023 to correct full moon signs and include additional celestial events. Enjoy!
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 6 months
Text
Update for November from the upcoming Good Omens Graphic Novel! :) ❤
Apparently I’m a demon and I lied: we won’t be doing more frequent updates, split between information and reveals. We had heard feedback that the updates were too long; then last month, we heard even more feedback that people liked the comprehensive updates after our last one, so instead of promising a particular amount, we will mostly stick to monthly, but play it by ear if anything special comes along…
We did say we’d be back with some exciting things: we’ve already shared with you Rachael Stott’s beautiful alt cover featuring Crowley and Aziraphale, but here is Bookshop Blaze, the print included in Loot Box #1 (Serpent Tier+). Isn’t she a beauty?
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What we’re also hearing, every time Aziraphale is illustrated alongside ducks is, “More ducks”, so meet the duckling enamel pin (Demon Tier+). Any angelic duck names welcomed.
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As for the mystery packs, we promised more pins and more pins you shall have. These mystery packs are add ons, and these five are just a sampling of what is to come. To keep track of the enamel pins, you can visit goodomenshq.com.
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We’ve had sample pins showing up and while most that we have in person we’re yet to reveal, here is the fearsome hellhound Dog in all his glory:
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Some eagle-eyed fans spotted another pin cameo: Sir Terry Pratchett pins appeared at Neil Gaiman and Rob Wilkins’ event at the British Library, which celebrated the Worlds of Terry Pratchett, just in time for the 40th anniversary of Discworld. You can watch that event here. 
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PledgeManager
Onto more logistical updates, while PledgeManager is closer to being ready, we will now be launching this in March. We’re working on some additional versions of items based on your suggestions, ensuring everything is locked in for shipping everywhere, dotting the is, crossing the ts. This is a busy time of year for everyone, and so it seems best for all, rather than to rush the process, we instead give everyone a decent bit of notice with a much firmer date, and hit 2024 with some gusto.
On that note, as a reminder, PledgeManager is where we will process shipping addresses and payment, so don’t worry about not supplying addresses yet, or indeed moving in between now and the graphic novel's release. There’s still plenty of time before this is needed.
Cameos
We are working through cameo admin at the moment. Note that Archangel Tier backers have their survey with a deadline of 30 November, the higher level cameos should expect to hear more in December. If you have purchased a cameo and have any questions, please drop us a message.
Staying up to date
As always, you can hear more about Good Omens more widely at Good Omens HQ and sign up to our mailing list for news and more.
p.s. We’ve had some Crowley artwork, let’s end with some Aziraphale.
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adisquietfollows · 2 months
Text
The reporters interviewed Amit Soussana for eight hours and doctors she spoke with immediately after her release. They also reviewed medical records, videos, text messages and photographs.
Full text under the cut.
March 26, 2024
Amit Soussana, an Israeli lawyer, was abducted from her home on Oct. 7, beaten and dragged into Gaza by at least 10 men, some armed. Several days into her captivity, she said, her guard began asking about her sex life.
Ms. Soussana said she was held alone in a child’s bedroom, chained by her left ankle. Sometimes, the guard would enter, sit beside her on the bed, lift her shirt and touch her, she said.
He also repeatedly asked when her period was due. When her period ended, around Oct. 18, she tried to put him off by pretending that she was bleeding for nearly a week, she recalled.
Around Oct. 24, the guard, who called himself Muhammad, attacked her, she said.
Early that morning, she said, Muhammad unlocked her chain and left her in the bathroom. After she undressed and began washing herself in the bathtub, Muhammad returned and stood in the doorway, holding a pistol.
“He came towards me and shoved the gun at my forehead,” Ms. Soussana recalled during eight hours of interviews with The New York Times in mid-March. After hitting Ms. Soussana and forcing her to remove her towel, Muhammad groped her, sat her on the edge of the bathtub and hit her again, she said.
He dragged her at gunpoint back to the child’s bedroom, a room covered in images of the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants, she recalled.
“Then he, with the gun pointed at me, forced me to commit a sexual act on him,” Ms. Soussana said.
Ms. Soussana, 40, is the first Israeli to speak publicly about being sexually assaulted during captivity after the Hamas-led raid on southern Israel. In her interviews with The Times, conducted mostly in English, she provided extensive details of sexual and other violence she suffered during a 55-day ordeal.
Ms. Soussana’s personal account of her experience in captivity is consistent with what she told two doctors and a social worker less than 24 hours after she was freed on Nov. 30. Their reports about her account state the nature of the sexual act; The Times agreed not to disclose the specifics.
Ms. Soussana described being detained in roughly half a dozen sites, including private homes, an office and a subterranean tunnel. Later in her detention, she said, a group of captors suspended her across the gap between two couches and beat her.
For months, Hamas and its supporters have denied that its members sexually abused people in captivity or during the Oct. 7 terrorist attack. This month, a United Nations report said that there was “clear and convincing information” that some hostages had suffered sexual violence and there were “reasonable grounds” to believe sexual violence occurred during the raid, while acknowledging the “challenges and limitations” of examining the issue.
After being released along with 105 other hostages during a cease-fire in late November, Ms. Soussana spoke only in vague terms publicly about her treatment in the Gaza Strip, wary of recounting such a traumatic experience. When filmed by Hamas minutes before being freed, she said, she pretended to have been treated well to avoid jeopardizing her release.
Ms. Soussana said she had decided to speak out now to raise awareness about the plight of the hostages still in Gaza, whose number has been put at more than 100, as negotiations for a cease-fire falter.
Hours after her release, Ms. Soussana spoke with a senior Israeli gynecologist, Dr. Julia Barda, and a social worker, Valeria Tsekhovsky, about the sexual assault, the two women said in separate interviews with The Times. A medical report filed jointly by them, and reviewed by The Times, briefly summarizes her account.
“Amit spoke immediately, fluently and in detail, not only about her sexual assault but also about the many other ordeals she experienced,” Dr. Barda said.
The following day, on Dec. 1, Ms. Soussana shared her experience with a doctor from Israel’s National Center of Forensic Medicine, according to the center’s medical report, which was reviewed by The Times.
Siegal Sadetzki, a professor at Tel Aviv University medical school who is helping and advising Ms. Soussana’s family as a volunteer, said Ms. Soussana first told her about the sexual assault within days of her release. Professor Sadetzki, a former top Israeli health official, said Ms. Soussana’s accounts have remained consistent.
Ms. Soussana also spoke to the U.N. team that published the report on sexual violence, but The Times was unable to review her testimony.
A spokesman for Hamas, Basem Naim, said in a 1,300-word response to The Times that it was essential for the group to investigate Ms. Soussana’s allegations, but that such an inquiry was impossible in “the current circumstances.”
Mr. Naim cast doubt on Ms. Soussana’s account, questioning why she had not spoken publicly about the extent of her mistreatment. He said the level of detail in her account makes “it difficult to believe the story, unless it was designed by some security officers.”
“For us, the human body, and especially that of the woman, is sacred,” he said, adding that Hamas’s religious beliefs “forbade any mistreatment of any human being, regardless of his sex, religion or ethnicity.”
Mr. Naim criticized The Times for insufficient coverage of Palestinian suffering, including reports of sexual assault by Israeli soldiers on Palestinian women, which have been the subject of investigations by U.N. officials, rights groups and others. He also said “civilian hostages were not the target” of the raid and said “we have from the first moment declared our readiness to release them.”
A Hamas planning document found in one village shortly after the Oct. 7 raid, which was reviewed by The Times, said: “Take soldiers and civilians as prisoners and hostages to negotiate with.” Video from Oct. 7 shows uniformed Hamas militants abducting civilians.
The Abduction
Ms. Soussana lived alone in a cramped single-story home on the western side of Kibbutz Kfar Azza. After hearing sirens warning of rocket attacks on Oct. 7, she said, she sheltered in her bedroom, which was also a reinforced safe room. From her bedroom, Ms. Soussana listened as the attackers’ gunfire grew closer.
The small kibbutz stands roughly 1.5 miles from Gaza, and it was one of more than 20 Israeli villages, towns and army bases overrun that day by thousands who surged across the Gazan border shortly after dawn. Some 1,200 people were killed that day and about 250 abducted, Israeli officials say, setting off a war in Gaza that local health officials say has killed at least 31,000 Palestinians.
Ms. Soussana was at the kibbutz almost by chance. Sick with a fever, she had been recuperating the previous day in the nearby city of Sderot, with her mother, Mira, who pressed her to stay the night. But Ms. Soussana drove home to Kfar Azza to feed her three cats, she said.
The youngest of three sisters, Ms. Soussana had grown up in Sderot. She qualified as a lawyer at a local college and worked for a law firm specializing in intellectual property. Her colleagues considered her a diligent, quiet and private person who kept her distance, her supervisor, Oren Mendler, said in an interview. In Kfar Azza, Ms. Soussana said, she rarely involved herself in village life and was not part of the local WhatsApp groups, which left her unaware of the extent of the attack on the kibbutz.
At 9:46 a.m. that day, she heard gunmen outside, prompting her to hide inside her bedroom closet, according to messages on her family WhatsApp group reviewed by The Times. Twenty minutes later, her phone died.
Moments later, “I heard an explosion, a huge explosion,” she said. “And the second after that, someone opened the closet door.”
Dragged from the closet, she said, she saw roughly 10 men rifling through her belongings, armed with assault rifles, a grenade launcher and a machete.
Part of the house was on fire — a blaze that would ruin the building.
Over the next hour, the group dragged her through a nearby field toward Gaza. Security footage from a solar farm near the kibbutz, which was widely circulated on the internet, shows the group repeatedly tackling her to the ground as they struggled to restrain her. At one point, a kidnapper picked her up and slung her across his back. The video shows her flailing so hard, her legs thrashing in the air, that the man tumbled to the ground.
“I didn’t want to let them take me to Gaza like an object, without a fight,” said Ms. Soussana. “I still kept believing that someone will come and rescue me.”
The Abuser
The kidnappers attempted to restrain her by beating her and wrapping her in a white fabric, the video shows. Unable to subdue her, the attackers tried and failed to carry her by bicycle, she said. Finally, they bound her hands and feet and dragged her across the bumpy farmland into Gaza, she said.
She was badly wounded, bleeding heavily, with a split lip, she said. The hospital report prepared shortly after her release said that she returned to Israel with fractures in her right eye socket, cheek, knee and nose and severe bruising on her knee and back. The report stated that several injuries were related to her abduction on Oct. 7, including punches to her right eye.
After reaching the edge of Gaza, Ms. Soussana said, she was shoved into a waiting car and driven a few hundred yards into the outskirts of Gaza City. She was untied, dressed in a paramilitary uniform and transferred to another car filled with uniformed militants. A hood was placed over her head, though she could still catch glimpses of her surroundings from under it, she said. After a short drive, she was hurried up a staircase and onto a rooftop, she said.
After the hood was removed, Ms. Soussana said, she found herself in a small structure built on the roof of what she would later realize was an upscale private home. She remembered that militants were busy taking more guns from a box. Then the gunmen hurried downstairs, and she was left alone, facing a wall, with a man who said he was the owner of the house and called himself Mahmoud, she recalled.
“After a couple of minutes, he said I can turn around,” Ms. Soussana said. “And I was shocked,” she added. “I find myself sitting in a house in Gaza.”
She said Mahmoud was soon joined by a younger man, Muhammad. She remembered Muhammad as a chubby, balding man of average height with a wide nose.
Later that day, they dressed her in a thick brown garment that covered her body, she said. They gave her three pills, which they said were painkillers. It was the only time that she remembers receiving any kind of medicine in Gaza, let alone medical treatment.
Fitted with a fan and a television, the room appeared to have been prepared for her arrival, she said. There were three mattresses, she said, one for her and two for the guards.
Early in her captivity, her guards chained her ankle to the window frame, she said. Around Oct. 11, she said, she was led by the chain to a bedroom downstairs. She understood that it belonged to one of Mahmoud’s sons, and that his family had been moved to another place.
The chain was reattached to the door handle, she said, next to a mirror. For the first time since her capture, she could see what she looked like.
“I saw the chains and I saw that my face was all swollen and blue,” she said.
“And I just started to cry,” she said. “This was one of the lowest moments of my life.”
The Jail
For the next two and a half weeks in October, Ms. Soussana said, she was guarded exclusively by Muhammad.
She recalled that the room was almost permanently shrouded in darkness. The curtain was usually drawn shut and there were rolling power outages for most of the day, she said.
She said Muhammad slept outside the bedroom, in the adjacent living room, but frequently entered the bedroom in his underwear, asking about her sex life and offering to massage her body.
When he took her to the bathroom, Ms. Soussana said, he refused to let her shut the door. After giving her sanitary pads, Muhammad seemed particularly interested in the timing of her period, she said. She said she had spoken in a mix of basic English and Arabic; she had learned a little Arabic at school and her mother’s family — Jews from Iraq — had sometimes spoken it during her childhood.
“Every day, he would ask: ‘Did you get your period? Did you get your period? When you get your period, when it will be over, you will wash, you will take a shower and you will wash your clothes,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
When it arrived, Ms. Soussana said, she was exhausted, afraid and undernourished; her period lasted just one day. She managed to convince him that her menstruation continued for nearly a week, she said.
She tried to humanize herself in his eyes by asking the meaning of Arabic words she heard on television. She also promised that her family would reward him financially if she was returned without further harm to Israel, she said.
In the afternoons, two associates of Muhammad would join him at the apartment, bringing him a cooked meal, she said. Some of this food was given to her as her one meal of the day.
The Israeli strikes on the neighborhood became more frequent and frightening, Ms. Soussana said, noting that some shattered the windows. As the bombing intensified, she said, she started feeling sorry for the civilians, wondering why Hamas had never built bomb shelters for its people.
“I felt for them,” Ms. Soussana said. “Just think about growing up like this — it’s scary.”
The Assault
Early on the morning of the assault, she said, Muhammad insisted she take a shower, but she refused, saying the water was cold. Undeterred, he unchained Ms. Soussana and brought her to the kitchen and showed her a pot of water boiling on the stove, she said.
Minutes later, he brought her to the bathroom and gave her the heated water to pour over herself, she said.
After washing for a few minutes, she heard his voice again from the door, she said.
“‘Quickly, Amit, quickly,’” she recalled him saying.
“I turned around and I saw him standing there,” she said. “With the gun.”
She remembered reaching for a hand towel to cover herself as he advanced and hit her.
“He said, ‘Amit, Amit, take it off,’” she recalled. “Finally, I took it off.”
“He sat me on the edge of the bath. And I closed my legs. And I resisted. And he kept punching me and put his gun in my face,” Ms. Soussana said. “Then he dragged me to the bedroom.”
At that point, Muhammad forced her to commit a sexual act on him, Ms. Soussana said. After the assault, Muhammad left the room to wash, leaving Ms. Soussana sitting naked in the dark, she said.
When he returned, she recalled him showing remorse, saying, “I’m bad, I’m bad, please don’t tell Israel.”
That day, Muhammad repeatedly returned to offer her food, Ms. Soussana said. Sobbing on the bed, she turned down the initial offerings, she said.
Knowing that Ms. Soussana craved sunlight, she said, he refused to open the curtains, leaving the room in darkness. Desperate for daylight, she accepted the food, believing that she had no other option but to placate her abuser.
“You can’t stand looking at him — but you have to: He’s the one who’s protecting you, he’s your guard,” she said. “You’re there with him and you know that every moment it can happen again. You’re completely dependent on him.”
The Israelis
Ms. Soussana said her captors moved her away from the border after a major, hourslong bombardment overnight. Based on the extent of the explosions and snippets she caught on television, she later concluded it was around the start of Israel’s ground invasion of Gaza on Friday, Oct. 27.
On the following day, she was hurried into a small white car, she said. The driver headed southwest toward what she would later be told was the central city of Nuseirat.
“Muhammad is sitting in the back seat next to me, and with the gun pointed at me,” she said.
The car stopped outside what looked like a United Nations school and Ms. Soussana was ushered into a busy street, she recalled.
She said she was handed over to a man who called himself Amir. He marched her up the stairs of a nearby apartment block and into another private home, she said.
For the first time in weeks, she was free of Muhammad — but terrified to be entering yet another unknown. “‘Oh my God,’” she remembered wondering. “‘What’s going to happen to me?’”
The man ushered her into a bedroom and shut the door behind her, she recalled. Inside, she found two young women playing cards, next to an older man lying on a bed and an older woman sitting in a chair, she said. Ms. Soussana was wearing traditional clothes from Gaza, she recalled.
“They looked at me and I looked at them, for like half a minute,” she said. “Then I asked, ‘Are you Israelis?’”
“Are you Israeli?” Ms. Soussana remembered one of the women replying.
The Tunnels
Three weeks after her kidnapping, Ms. Soussana had been united with four other hostages. Hugging them, Ms. Soussana broke down in tears, she said.
The identities of the four others were shared with The Times on the condition that their names would not be used to protect those still in captivity.
A few days after her arrival, she was summoned to the apartment’s living room, Ms. Soussana recalled. Amir often played here with his children.
On that day, the guards wrapped her head in a pink shirt, forced her to sit on the floor, handcuffed her, and began beating her with the butt of a gun, she said.
After several minutes, they used duct tape to cover her mouth and nose, tied her feet, and placed the handcuffs on the base of her palms, she said. Then she was suspended, hanging “like a chicken” from a stick stretching between two couches, causing her such pain that she felt that her hands would soon be dislocated.
They carried on beating and kicking her, focusing on the soles of her feet, while simultaneously demanding information they believed she was hiding from them, Ms. Soussana said.
She still doesn’t understand what exactly they wanted or why they thought she was concealing something, she said. At one point, the head guard brought over a spike, and made as if to poke her eye with it, pulling away just in time, she said.
“It was like that for 45 minutes or so,” she said. “They were hitting me and laughing and kicking me, and called the other hostages to see me,” she said.
Ms. Soussana recalled that the kidnappers untied her and returned her to the bedroom, telling her she had 40 minutes to produce the information they wanted or else they would kill her. She said one of the young women was so frightened that she asked Ms. Soussana if she had any last messages for her family.
In mid-November, the hostages were separated: The two youngest women were taken to an unknown location, she said, while Ms. Soussana and the older couple were driven to a house surrounded by farmland.
They found the house full of gunmen, who ordered them to sit on the floor. Suddenly, the older woman began to scream, Ms. Soussana said.
The woman was looking into a shaft that descended into the ground, Ms. Soussana said. “I hear one of the drivers telling her: ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. It’s a city down there.’”
“Then I realized,” Ms. Soussana said. “We’re going into the tunnels.”
The Release
A ladder, several stairs and a series of narrow sloping passageways led the three hostages deep underground, she said.
By the time they reached the bottom, the guards said they were 40 meters deep, something they hoped would reassure the hostages, she said: The Israeli bombs could not reach them there.
Ms. Soussana said a big gunman in a mask was waiting for them at the bottom. Initially, he started shouting at them, telling them that Israel had killed his family, she said, but then quickly stopped, removed his mask and took a different tone.
She said the man introduced himself in English as Jihad and told them his father had worked in Israel and had even had his Israeli boss to dinner, in the years when Israeli civilians could still enter Gaza. He spoke in Hebrew at times. Jihad said he had learned some from watching Israeli television and sang them a famous song that he had heard on a children’s show, Ms. Soussana remembered.
“I was shocked,” Ms. Soussana said. “Suddenly, he was the most humane guy we met there.”
The ground shook every time a missile struck nearby, making her fear they might be buried alive, she said. The tunnels were dark, damp and too narrow for two people to pass each other. And their subterranean cell was so short of air that they were left dizzy and panting after taking a few steps, she said.
Israeli troops would later capture and photograph the tunnel. Ms. Soussana identified fabrics and mattresses in the pictures.
Their captors spent little more than an hour a day in the tunnel, ascending to higher levels overnight for fresh air, Ms. Soussana said. The hostages pleaded with the guards to bring them, too.
After several days, the kidnappers gave in, brought them back to the surface and drove them to another private house, Ms. Soussana said.
They were still there when Israel and Hamas agreed to a hostage deal and a temporary truce, which went into force on Friday, Nov. 24. The following day, the three hostages were driven to an office in Gaza City — Ms. Soussana’s final detention site.
Every day brought hope and disappointment. It was never clear which hostages would be freed, or when.
On Thursday, Nov. 30, which turned out to be the last full day of the truce, the guards were making lunch when one of them finished a phone call and turned to Amit.
“He says: ‘Amit. Israel. You. One hour,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
Within an hour, Ms. Soussana said, she was separated from the older hostage and driven through Gaza City. The car stopped, and a woman in a hijab climbed inside. It was another Israeli hostage: Mia Schem, who was also being released.
They were taken to a junkyard, Ms. Soussana recalled. Around them, she said, their guards changed from civilian clothes into uniforms.
Finally, the two women were driven to Palestine Square, a major plaza at the heart of Gaza City, where a raucous crowd waited to see them handed over to the Red Cross. Social media video showed that Hamas struggled to control the onlookers, who surrounded the car, pressed up against its windows and at one point began to rock the vehicle, Ms. Soussana said.
After a tense few minutes, the Red Cross officials managed to transfer the women to their jeep.
As they approached the Israeli border, a female Red Cross official handed Ms. Soussana a phone. A person who said he was a soldier greeted her in Hebrew.
“He said, ‘A couple more minutes and we’re going to meet you,’” Ms. Soussana said. “I remember, I started to cry.”
Aaron Boxerman and Isabel Kershner contributed reporting.
Patrick Kingsley is the Jerusalem bureau chief, covering Israel and the occupied territories. He has reported from more than 40 countries, written two books and previously covered migration and the Middle East for The Guardian. More about Patrick Kingsley
Ronen Bergman is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine, based in Tel Aviv. His latest book is “Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel’s Targeted Assassinations,” published by Random House. More about Ronen Bergman
A version of this article appears in print on March 27, 2024, Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Israeli Hostage Tells of Sexual Assault in Gaza. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
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