#Neuro is safe now
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on a just-short-of chivalric quest to find the darkest coffee shop in northern california. text if u need me
#it's so much harder to find anywhere to work safely and effectively now#between my neuro issues and covid risk. it's a bleak landscape for someone looking to wolf down pounds and pounds of pdfs#ros.txt
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1. What is a woman?
Argument for Using "Cis-Identifying"
And related: A conversation with a "NERF" about radical feminism, gender identity ideology, and what we/I actually believe.
2. Inform yourself on some of the work I've done for trans people before you continue the trend of cowardly hypocrisy.
3. My thread responding to the way much of the tumblr trans community handled my sharing my story of surviving the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting (often by stealing my lived trauma and removing my url) is easily one of the most - if not the most - important posts pertaining to trans discourse I've made to date, and Tumblr won't let me pin it. Of course. So here it is. And a bonus: This lovely ask.
4. Hope for Women (this is a very new project, WIP)
About Me:
I am a butch lesbian, married to a badass gnc (but not butch) radfem lesbian goddess whose misandry surpasses even my own; she does have tumblr but rarely uses it - @psychichologramnightmare is hers. I'm 27/Taurus/May baby, though I'll be real, I've never liked astrology and found my birth chart n whatnot always laughably wildly inaccurate to me (sorry astrology girlies). Former competitive rock climber, still in love with hiking and climbing. Wilderness survivalist. Trained & armed woman, advocate for female-only firearm ownership.
My wife and I run our own business, and bought our first home together at 24 & 25 respectively - it's a lovely 4/3 on a quarter acre where we have 5 mango trees and more, plan to start growing our own food and herbs, foster kittens, and provide free housing (and more) regularly for those in need. We do a LOT of IRL feminist action/work/organizing. I post about some of that work pretty often, but I couldn't possibly post about all of it (even if it were safe to do so). I am basically organizing (mostly offline, but some online as well) full-time now.
Survivor of abuse, CSA + captivity, trafficking in my teens where I was forced into porn as a minor, the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando 2016, and more. I am no longer affected by any of these in any negative psychological manner. I own my past, every moment of it, and wouldn't change a thing I've experienced. What I often tell people is, "I'm not glad it happened; I'm glad I was there."
I got my Bachelor's in Neuroscience/Neuropsych, used to work in a top neuro research lab, and have been a coauthor on a peer-reviewed scientific journal publication. I wrote my undergraduate thesis on POTS, ADHD, some of the relevant epigenetics, and norepinephrine dysregulation. I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos & POTS in 2015, before pretty much anyone had heard of them (including most doctors). My POTS is very well-managed now, but chronic pain from EDS is more of a struggle.
I practice witchcraft as a form of artistic expression. I don't consider myself spiritual as I've had a lifelong inability to "believe," but I am particularly passionate about lesbian-centered/lesbian-exclusive (esp butch & gnc lesbian) witchcraft. I am open to commissions for spell jars/sachets on a purely donation basis (we recently were victims of identity theft and are still struggling to recover, but I'll do them for free happily). This is essentially artistic expression to me, something to express love and sisterhood - why I'm not actually charging or anything and will even pay shipping and materials myself if you'd like one but don't want to/can't donate. To me, it's very similar to commissioning a painting or something of the sort, and I deeply enjoy the process of making them, esp for other women, the love that goes into doing so. See tags: #witchcraft, #brujeria.
Adoptee with complex history. Adoption-critical but not abolitionist - I plan to adopt with my wife in a couple years. I've talked a fair bit about my experiences, adoption trauma, ethical adoption, and more. Check out my tags such as #ethical adoption, #adopted, #adoptee, and so forth (tagged on this post for easy accessibility).
I spent many years surrounded by majority-trans-identifying friends/acquaintances both irl and online, deeply involved in trans spaces & activism, and even identified for a bit & was on T for a while. I am not "uneducated" or unfamiliar with trans-identifying people, their experiences, or gender identity ideology in general. You, like me back then, very probably have been lied to about radfems ("terfs") and what we believe and fight for. I am happy to talk in good faith (provided you do the same) 1 on 1 with anyone who is curious about what we actually believe and what we stand for, what common radfem takes on gender identity ideology & trans identity actually are and why.
I have a history of purely physical sex dysphoria (physical sensation like pain or itching). I got "top surgery" (elective mastectomy) due to this and other reasons: constant painful breast cysts & very large breasts (DDD even when I weighed under 100 lbs). I was not trans-identifying by the time I got this surgery (though I tried to briefly identify as nb/transmasc just bc I felt obligated, but hated it). I have never wanted to be a man socially and genuinely hated the very thought. I came out the womb feminist, got in trouble throughout primary school for fighting boys who tried to pull sexist bullshit, always lowkey believed in female superiority (I mean just look at our biology, lifespans, pain tolerance, the things we've done throughout history despite violent patriarchal oppression...). I spent years preparing myself. I read from & spoke to women who regretted this surgery, challenged myself at every turn, dove deep into my mind and thought processes, tried alternative treatment attempts, worked with a non-affirming therapist, made sure my past traumas were fully healed, and waited until I was in my mid-twenties so my brain was more or less fully matured. I have no regrets about it. I still have some (still purely physical sensation) dysphoria ("phantom male genitals" type of thing) at times, but have come to manage this very well. More on this here.
Formally assessed psychopath & participant in research by leading psychopathy experts (read on before jumping to conclusions). Check out this post and my #psychopathy tag (tagged on this post for easy accessibility) for info, particularly about high-EQ female psychopathy, & to find out everything you think you know about us is wrong 💕 (what you know about male psychopaths is usually right tho 💀)
Note: When it comes to politics, I strive to discuss exclusively that about which I am *uniquely knowledgeable* - by which I mean, essentially, that I (believe I) have something to contribute that is unlikely to be found on every other blog. I do not and will not make posts or reblog posts about topics I do not feel this way about. You are not entitled to know my views on every hot-button issue, and I have no intention of speaking on that which I know little about, or that I don't know enough about (through study or personal experiences) to contribute something you can't get a thousand other places.
Tag Guide (WIP):
#mine -> original posts, including ask responses
#ask -> ask responses only
#anon hate, #anon love -> should be self-explanatory. anon love does include some non-anon love for simplicity.
#catposting, #dogposting, #petposting -> images of cats, dogs, and both, respectively (not always my own)
#Wilder wives -> posts pertaining to me & my wife (last name Wilder)
#mvawg, #mvaw, #male violence -> male violence against women/girls
#ethical adoption -> my takes as an adoptee on the issues within the adoption industry & how adoption can be done ethically
#what we believe -> fairly new tag for posts trying to educate on what radfeminism is actually about/damage control for disinformation & misinformation about it
#trans violence -> violence committed by trans-identifying people, including threats of and graphic violent fantasies (primarily misogynistic ones)
#trans misogyny, #trans lesbophobia, #woke misogyny, #woke homophobia, #woke lesbophobia, etc. -> what it says on the tin
#mine#pinned#hope for Women#ethical adoption#adoptee#adopted#ntsd#neurological type sex dysphoria#sex dysphoria#witchcraft#brujeria#tra receipts#trans violence#male violence#mvawg#trans misogyny#pinned post#about me#what we believe
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Patching up the holes in your thoughts
Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • After finding a safe space to hold up, given everyone’s injuries, Daryl did his best to keep you safe and remind you…you’re not in that dark place anymore • ANGST/SFW • TW: Hallucinations / Head injury / Blood loss / Anxiety / Concussion
Requested by: Anon
She’s okay we’ve got her
Yeah that spill she took was awful
Did you see the amount of blood?
Guys, Daryl is still in the room. He doesn’t have to relive what happened
Siddiq’s right. Let’s get Y/N patched up
Y/N jolts awake in one of the infirmary rooms behind the main room where all the procedures and check ups happen. She anxiously looked around the room feeling a throbbing pain in her head.
The moment she sat up, Siddiq has stepped in to check on her and gave out an obvious sigh of relief.
“Thank god you’re alright”
“Wha…what happened?”
“You were helping with the bridge when one of the Saviors carrying some planks tuned too quickly knocking you in the back of your head. You had caught yourself but given parts of the floor was still being installed, your foot got caught and you went head first into the concrete.”
“Wow…that’s comedic”
“Mm. If you had woken up and brushed it off? Then maybe. But you were out cold and lost a lot of blood.” Siddiq frowns being careful with her when getting the blood pressure cuff on her as Y/N noticed a few bandages scattered on her arm.
“Did you fail the first stick or something?”
“No, again, you lost a lot of blood. So after you got stitches and bandaged, Daryl donated his blood” He states taking the cuff off when it was normal and checked the bandages to make sure they weren’t irritating. “Did you know he’s a universal blood type?”
“Yes, and what his brother did with it.” She frowns feeling the discomfort. “Don’t you dare abuse that fact”
“Hey, if he agrees to it in the future. Then cool, but the second he says no? Ain’t gonna do it. Besides, you’re the most recent serious case we had.” Siddiq sat on the edge of the bed taking out his flashlight pen, something Rosita found and gifted him. He checks the reactivity in her eyes watching her retract a bit to rub her eyes. “I’ll close the blinds, you could have a migraine from being out for a while. But I’d like to keep you here for a few days. Don’t want you going home where your room is upstairs”
“I could sleep on the couch…but I am enjoying a bed”
“Plus, I’m upstairs in case of anything” Siddiq smiles a little. “And Daryl desperately wants to be in here but Rick and Aaron have been keeping him out”
“Why?”
“He saw everything happened. He was stressed out bringing you here, stressed out watching me assess your injuries, and wouldn’t let me work until I’ve checked everything. So he got kicked out”
“Can he come see me?”
“I’d like to have you try and sleep for a while longer. Or at least an hour to do another neuro check…then he can come in”
“Mm…okay” Y/N was disappointed but never refused doctor’s orders.
The thing is, when he left, she was afraid to go back to sleep. Y/N wasn’t one to fear death but hearing what happened freaked her out. She tried her best to remember it for herself but there were holes in her thoughts.
So she did what was asked…and tried falling back asleep. It didn’t take long.
But something felt off…
“Move!” The familiar voice yells over her making her jolt unconsciously.
“I didn’t do anythin’ man. She was in the goddamn way”
“THE FUCK YOU SAY?!”
“Alright alright! There’s something more important to handle right now! ____ get your fucking shit together and get her to Siddiq” The other familiar voice interrupted the other and the unfamiliar one.
The unfamiliar loomed over her unconscious form as the blank expression that was formed on the blurry body, drove a chill down her spine.
“She’s dead”
“NO SHE FUCKIN’ AINT”
The voice she knew continued to argue with this unfamiliar that became voiceless while the scene moved.
“Wow she’s uh. Really bleeding” a new facial voice came into the channel while the warmth that came from this being brought sensations to her physical body. Like she’s felt this before.
“I can see that. She hit her head, but it doesn’t fucking help that this bastard hit her with a plank that knocked her already—then off balance—and then into the fucking concrete”
“___—“
Daryl
“Daryl, please. Your frustration won’t help this situation”
“It hasn’t on the way over here. Tell me where yea need me ___—“
Siddiq
“Get him out of here unless he’s going to be useful” Siddiq snaps applying pressure to the sound as the familiar took Daryl’s bicep feeling him pull away. Which lead to the familiar full on grabbing Daryl and taking him out of there.
Rick
“She’s okay, we’ve got her” Siddiq reassures Rick when he returned to help him. Soon another familiar came rushing through with another that could help with their infirmary experience.
“That spill she took was awful, not to be gruesome about it. But it was like a fruit being thrown at the ground until it exploded”
“That’s fucking vivid ____”
“Did you see the amount of blood?!”
“___—-! ___—-!”
Aaron
Rosita
“Daryl is still within goddamn earshot. Watch what you’re fucking saying”
“Ricks right. Daryl doesn’t have to relive this, okay?” Siddiq made his partner Rosita take a hold of applying pressure while he had Aaron get an IV in while he did a quick stitch job. “Thank god”
“What?”
“I can see her skull”
“WHY IS THAT A GOOD THING?!”
“BECAUSE I CAN SEE ITS NOT CRACKED OR BROKEN OPEN LIKE A COCONUT!” Siddiq snapped out of anxious habit when others yelled at him. Rick held his hands up defensively before watching Aaron tape the IV needle in place and the yelling triggered the archer to come in.
“Ah hell no!”
“If she’s gonna die I ain’t—“
“She’s not going to die!”
“I ain’t fucking leaving her regardless!” Daryl snaps and no one said another word, all that happened was Rick and Aaron sharing a glance and then quickly taking the archer that fought against the two, back out of the room. His anxiety would only make everything worse.
Then a sudden deep breath escaped Y/N and that startled Rosita and Siddiq, but once he took notice that that action helped her start breathing regularly. Overall relief occurred before the work continued.
“She’s dead”
The unfamiliar voice startled her awake from her unconscious state. Y/N sat up finding Siddiq and Rosita were no longer in the room and all there was was this unfamiliar being with a monotoned voice, compared to how it was on the bridge.
“Go away…”
“She’s dead”
“No…No no no I’m not” Y/N whined, holding her head as she tried to get up and leave. Only to realize she wasn’t in an infirmary bed or in that building anymore.
She’s been moved. She has memory of this. But currently she was in an old state of mind that her concussed state from the main injury was starting to trigger the past issue.
“Please…go away” She cried as she stumbled out of the bed making the thud noticeable to others within the house.
“She’s dead. She lost a lot of blood. How could anyone recover—-“
“Y/N?! Y/N oh my god” Daryl opened the door making this image of an unfamiliar being fade away, indicating she was snapping back into her reality.
But she didn’t know that.
“Hey hey hey, you’re okay. What happened? Did yea fall?” Daryl kept asking as he tried to hold her but she retracted at first. “Y/N…”
“You’re not here…this guy wants to hurt me. You’re not here. You’re not here” She sobbed, and it wasn’t going to be an entirely gentle approach to get her to realize that it was Daryl.
The way she started to corner herself in the room continuing to sob shutting her eyes tight. Daryl frowns trying his best not to fall apart at the sight as he quietly brings himself closer sitting on his knees before her. It was a risk, but he carefully took one of her hands feeling the first retraction—but she felt the familiar warmth from before. But different.
“You comfortable?” His voice was always so soothing and his touch was ever so gentle when it came to her fragile state. “I can get you another blanket”
No I’m okay
“Alright, but I’m stayin’ close.” He smiles bringing the blanket over her before sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand into his. Rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.
You know I won’t break if you leave
“I don’t wanna leave yea”
Can you at least do something when I’m asleep?
“Mmm. You tryin’ to kick me out, sunshine?” Daryl scoffs playfully but he couldn’t help but find himself admiring her smile and laugh again. It was only three days after the accident, and he missed it. He missed it so much.
Of course not, I would love for you to lay with me a while. But I am currently out of service. You can still help rebuild the communities
“Fine. But right now I’m staying” Daryl smiles bringing her hand to gently rest on his cheek so that he could feel that he was there.
“I’m right here, sunshine” His voice was a low whisper that made her re-open her eyes, her blurry tear filled eyes as her thumb gently brushes his cheek feeling the familiar scruffiness he had. “Y/N…”
“I’m sorry…I-I don’t…I don’t know what happened”
“You suffered a head injury…Siddiq warned about your concussion being a bit bad” Daryl frowns bringing himself closer as she brought her other hand to his other cheek. “Hallucinations could happen…not likely but I just…shouldn’t have assumed it not happening”
“…I’m okay now…I think”
“‘M here now. You can’t kick me out cuz imma just stick with yea every day until yer better”
“Please?” Y/N felt the tears fell as he gently brushed them away before bringing his arms around her making her move hers around his neck.
The archer carefully stood while holding his girl and making her legs wrap around his torso until he moved to the bed. Helping her lay down before bringing himself to her other side and laying with her. She carefully brought herself to rest her head against him, making him tense slightly afraid if he moved he’ll hurt her. But she kept her head on his shoulder, part of it where the stitches weren’t.
“I’m never leaving, okay?”
“If…if it happens again” The fear in her voice made Daryl worry as he looks at her waiting. “Will you help me out?”
“I’ll always bring you back, sunshine”
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Does Hyrule mind teaching how to assess a patient??👉👈
"You... want to learn how to assess patients?" Hyrule asked hesitantly.
Wild shrugged. "What if I want to be an EMT?"
"You also said you wanted to be a chef in the hospital."
"I can do both, you know."
Hyrule laughed. "I suppose so. Well... we'll need a patient for this to work."
Wild immediately snatched Sky, who yelped as his friend snaked a hand around his wrist. "Sky's the patient, heaven knows he needs to be looked over anyway."
"Look who's talking, Mr. I-Have-Seizures-and-Don't-Tell-Anybody," Sky grumbled as he was manhandled to sit between the other two.
"Well, everyone knows now."
Hyrule and Sky gave Wild a scalding look. Adequately apologetic, Wild shrugged sheepishly.
"Anyway," Hyrule sighed, shifting his focus to Sky. "Assessments come in different forms. You've got a primary and a secondary assessment. Primary is kind of a general overview and checking for life threatening stuff, secondary is in-depth on what the issue actually is. Make sense?"
Wild nodded.
"Great!" Hyrule continued with a smile. "Okay. Sky's our patient. Sky, you got shot once, right?"
Sky nodded, and Wild balked. "He what?!"
"It was a long time ago," Sky waved a dismissive hand.
"Okay, so that's our scenario," Hyrule said, standing. "We're dispatched for a 21-year-old male with a GSW--"
"That means gunshot wound, right?"
"Yeah. GSW, conscious patient. That's all we've got. So, you get on scene, and the very first thing you do is check for scene safety. If the scene isn't safe, we're not going in. First thing you're taught in EMS - your own safety comes first, because if you're shot you can't help the patient. It's you, your partner, then the patient."
"How often do you actually listen to that rule?" Sky asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's not what we're learning today," Hyrule waved off easily. It was pretty common knowledge that while he would never put his partner's life at risk, he'd gotten himself into dicey situations before. But he knew how to get himself out of those situations too. "So, we determine the scene is safe. Next, is our primary assessment. The purpose of this assessment is to check for life threatening things, and an overview of major body systems. Neuro status, bleeding, and your ABCs: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.
"The situation is pretty dynamic, like sometimes you walk up and somebody's got an arterial bleed and spurting blood everywhere, your assessment stops right there and you go fix that bleed. But generally you'll have time to do the entire primary assessment."
"Okay, so neuro and ABCs?"
"Yeah. And the good thing is that most of it happens all at once, you know? You walk up to Sky and he looks at you, then boom, you've got a good neuro - he's awake, he's alert. He may not be oriented, but you can figure that out by just talking to him. And by this point you can tell if there's life threatening bleeding. Then it's ABCs - is his airway patent, or open? Is he breathing, and is he doing so normally? Is his skin warm, dry, and normal tone for him? You can literally do al these things by just walking into the room and looking at him for five seconds. The primary assessment is done really fast and, the more times you do it, basically automatically."
"What would be an example of something being wrong?" Wild askd.
Hyrule glanced at him. "When I got on scene for your crash, you were unconscious and unresponsive--in other words, you were not only unconscious, but nothing would wake you up--and your breathing was gurgling sounding because you had blood in your airway."
Glancing at Sky, Hyrule said, "Sky can give us an example of a not great primary assessment, I'm sure."
Helpfully, Sky immediately flopped off the chair he was sitting on, collapsing to the ground with a crash. Wild laughed, and footsteps rushed from upstairs into the living room.
Twilight immediately froze in the entranceway, eyes wide and fixed on Sky. "Sky, what the--guys what the hell is hap--"
Sky perked up immediately. "Oh, sorry! I'm just helping Hyrule teach Wild!"
Twilight froze a moment and then sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and grumbling under his breath.
Hyrule smiled, pointing at Twilight. "He just perfectly showed a good primary assessment looks like! He walked in and saw the patient down on the ground, tried to figure out a neuro by calling out to him, and when Sky woke up he immediately could tell he was fine. Neuro intact, not bleeding, had a patent airway because he's talking, breathing normally, and skin looks normal."
"I hate all of you," Twilight groaned, walking out of the room.
"Okay, but by skin looking normal... what does it mean when it doesn't?" Wild asked.
"Your skin can tell a story," Hyrule explained. "If you're diaphoretic, which means sweating, something is likely wrong. Though it depends on context - if your patient's sweaty but they were just exercising, it makes sense. If Sky's sweaty on the ground after being shot, he's in shock. If the skin is cool, the body isn't circulating well - that can sap the color right out of your skin - the lighter your skin tone the more notable it is, but darker skin tones can become paler too. A lot of times with darker skin tones you'll want to look at their palms or their lips, that'll help you determine it. Another color is grey - that usually means cardiac and it's bad. So skin can tell you a lot!"
"How did my skin look?" Wild questioned, curious.
"Pale," Hyrule immediately answered. "Anyway. Sky's your patient. Look him over."
"Okay," Wild blew out a breath, approaching Sky and kneeling beside him. "So he's unconscious, that's my neuro so far."
"Can you arouse him at all?"
Wild poked Sky in the neck. Sky flinched. Wild poked again and Sky giggled. Wild's eyes widened in realization, and a mischievous smile crossed his face.
"Wild, wait--"
Sky started laughing hysterically as his friend tickled him, wiggling and trying to shove him away.
"Get--off of m--Wild you jerk--"
Hyrule chuckled. "Well, we're not taught to tickle our patients, but that works."
#sorry this took so long!#needed to manifest some energy to write healthcare au stuff lol#lu in healthcare#asks#writing#lu hyrule#lu wild#my gosh guys it's been SO LONG since I've looked at an EMT textbook I actually had to look up primary v secondary assessment definitions#just to make sure I was explaining it right#because I just automatically do it and haven't used the terms 'primary and secondary assessment' since EMT class#and that was more years ago than I care to admit LOL#in fact it's been so long I'm pretty sure they teach the primary as ABCDE#*puts on grey wig* back in my day#we just had ABC for the primary assessment#airway and breathing and circulation#but now it's airway/breathing/circulation/disability/expose?? I think??#disability makes no sense to me#but all expose is saying is expose areas so you can see what you're dealing with#like for a trauma patient you gotta cut the clothes off to make sure you aren't missing an injury#I think disability is neuro related but they were stretching it ok#medical world and it's dumb acronyms#honestly I say just stick to ABCs#lu sky#lu twilight#poor twi lol#he's so done with their shenanigans#he's been on edge ever since Wild's hospitalization#anybody having issues makes him have a meltdown
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Special interests
Summary: You were an encyclopedia of relevant knowledge and an even larger encyclopedia of irrelevant knowledge. The trick was to get you to talk; what you’d say however was a gamble. OR the time Chuuya had to ask an expert's opinion not expecting said expert to be.. well ..you.
Pairing Academic! fem Reader x Chuuya Nakahara
Inspired by request by anon: Quiet reader who becomes outgoing in a conversation when talking about that special interest.
Warnings: Hint at a neuro divergent reader, cursing, academia, AU-kinda? kinda sweet,
Enjoy~
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Women within the military were rare; women within military academia were rarer. Women who were top-notch world renown within both were an anomaly. Didn’t exist but for a handful of exceptions that could be counted on one hand. They lived in a different world- reside within the safe space of books, samples and knowledge without needing to dirty their hands with actual field work or real life situations.
Chuuya Nakahara was not particularly fond of academics. Their snobby behaviour, the way they looked down at everyone as if they were beneath them was annoying. Especially when they directly assumed that someone was dumb or in the very least dumber just because of some paper- or three, that they crammed out in the middle of the night after guidance from equally snobby so-called academic supervisors. That they’d find some insignificant theory, approach or pattern useful within one specific context and then ride that honor until the end of days. Milking money out of students or charging overpriced consulting fees.
More than anything, Chuuya disliked how comfortable academics could live, while they made demands and analysis about the world he lived in; made claims about the underground society without any understanding of what was going on. Especially humorous was when they advised the government on some new ‘crime mitigation policy’ with the most stupid and stuck-up formulations. All the while they effectively remained clean of bloodshed and loss.
Sometimes, Chuuya wished he could drag one of those snobs to walk a week in his shoes and then see how comfortable they would be making those insubstantial claims. To show them what true understanding meant, so they would never open their goddamn mouth again.
Coming to a stop outside the large auditorium, Chuuya went in before leaning his back near the furthest wall. The room was surprisingly full of people; students, other academics and researchers filled up the many seats as they listened to the young, rather plain looking woman on the stage. He had come to the very end of your seminar, right at the moment where the organizer thanked you profusely for your time while at the same time trying to silence the numerous hands full of questions by repeatedly reminding people it was break time and they would resume after lunch.
Chuuya waited until you were completely alone before he began approaching. He noticed you breathe a sigh of relief at the sudden absence of people, looking a lot more relaxed now. So much so you didn’t seem to notice his presence. For Chuuya however, making the first move suited him and his personality perfectly.
“ Coffee?” the ginger asked in the most pleasant voice he could master as he came closer and closer to you while raising the takeaway cup from the local off campus cafe as an offer. You looked startled by his voice then tilted your head ever so slightly to the side.
“ Do you know that drinking coffee can increase life expectancy?” Chuuya raised an eyebrow at your words which you took as a sign to elaborate '' Well some studies show that drinking coffee decreases depression and risk of developing Alzeihmers both of which have a detrimental effect on Disability Adjusted Life Years. Though it could also kill you if you overdose on it”
Chuuya’s eyes lit up slightly at your last statement. “ Overdose?”
“ That’s right, you would need to drink over thirty cups within a very short period of time to experience symptoms. Though actual harmful dose would need to be calculated based on the person's physiological conditions. And even then the body would try to get rid of it by vomiting. Other symptoms of caffeine overdose includes chest pain, trouble breathing–”
“ OKAY okay” Chuuya yelled, raising his hands in an attempt to get you to stop talking. “ I get it, no coffee”
“ Well coffee is okay as long as you are aware of your body's limitations” you stated as your eyes flickered down to his outstretched hand with the still steaming cup. You felt a certain pressure to take the cup from him but also a deep uncertainty. What if the cup wasn’t meant for you? Wouldn’t you then just embarrass yourself by attempting to take something that wasn’t yours?
It would be rather embarrassing if you, a famous professor, applied a self-centered approach and just took things from people just because you couldn’t resist the temptation.
And also very unlike you.
Tearing your eyes reluctantly from the cup you studied the features of the ginger who so confidently approached you. His eyes told you he was no student or scholar. His clothes reinforced that observation.
You picked up your speaker notes and notebooks- material you didn’t need but which brought you the slightest bit of comfort. Then you broke the brief yet heavy silence; “ Was there something you wanted to talk about, or were you interested in my lecture on Mycotoxins presence within the underground railing of the Tokyo Subway systems, mister–?”
“ Nakahara Chuuya” he stated setting down the cups on the edge of the speaker stand before stretching his hand out towards you with clear intentions of a handshake. You stared down at his hand, then swallowed thickly before gripping your notes slightly tighter, not extending your hand to his. The lightest of blushes dusted your cheeks- a physical reaction to your nerves and discomfort.
“ oh and I’m doctor Y/S Y/N; Did you know that handshaking has a long historical tradition. Back in middle ages most people of importance were right handed and shaking hands was considered a peace offering and–”
“ Very interesting facts Doctor.” Chuuya cut you off and did his best not to roll his eyes. He had to appear polite and in the very least interested in the random facts that had absolutely nothing to do with his current predicament which placed him inside this stuffy institute “ I need an undetectable poison”
“ That’s an impossibility” you proclaimed looking at him as if he were a sheltered five year old calling a rock for a butterfly. “ An undetected poison would not be a poison we would know about since we would not be able to detect it, and I can’t make assumptions about poisons we have yet to discover” you huffed in annoyance.
Chuuya narrowed his eyes at you “ Oj stop acting stupid and being so fucking difficult and just tell me what I need to know!” he yelled the last part making your eyes widen.
You took a step back from him, your voice shaking ever so slightly as you continued; “ I -I’m not acting stupid. I’m merely pointing out the absurdity of your request!” you replied back with a hint of confusion on your face, clearly not understanding how your reply managed to get him upset.
Chuuya growled, his eyes flashing red. “ Just tell me what substance wouldn’t show up on a dead body's tox screen!” he hissed through squeezed teeth.
“ Oh but then it’s not an undetectable poison but rather a poison that would clear the system before the victim is discovered and tested– or one where the chemical make up would resemble the chemicals naturally produced in the body. You should have said that directly. I have a list that might interest you back in my office!” you exclaimed and gathered the last of your materials in a neat little pile before beginning to head out of the auditorium clearly expecting him to follow.
“ That’s what I said.” Chuuya grumbled, his eyes returning back to blue as he fell into step beside you, keeping an even pace with you.
“ No what you said was–”
Chuuya sighed heavily as he listened to your ramble; an almost perfect recollection of your short conversation with each other. Making sure to state exactly the areas where he could have been more clear in his communication with you; completely missing that the things he said would be interpreted differently by normal people. Those people would understand the context- understand what he was after by just his name. But not you. Not unless he spelled it out for you.
Literary.
Sneaking a glance, Chuuya could feel the edges of his lips inching up into a small smile. The slight shake in your voice and the way you clutched your stuff to your chest reminded him more of a nervous and shy teenager rambling to hide her uncertainty, than a world renown academic. A breath of fresh air among the snobby squinters. And surprisingly, Chuuya actually didn’t mind this conversation all that much.
#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya nakahara#request#bsd request#fem reader#reader smart#chuuya fluff#academic#neurodivergent#socially awkward#socially inept#chuuya x you#chuuya x yn
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Pulling Strings in your Veins: A Post on Switch-Induced Effects
'So, you're telling me switches can have unexpected effects beyond their intended purpose? Why would there be effects to the physical body when it is just some mechanism??'
Well, yeah i am! And it seems to happen to a portion of us despite not knowing why. It does sound confusing, like how we often view the appendix as a seemingly useless organ, but.. did you know that the appendix actually serves as a safe place for good gut bacteria during infections? Then, maybe we can start to think that these effects are not meaningless/random and have another mechanism/reason behind it?
What the Jerk?!
For those who don't know, jerk/twitches can be defined in this quote:
"A muscle twitch is a short contraction that sometimes occurs repeatedly − think eye twitching. Such movement can be uncomfortable and inconvenient, but it isn't usually painful."
From USA Today
In general means, twitches can happen from nutrient deficiencies/dehydration (some minerals helps muscle contract and loosen), not getting enough rest, stress, too much coffee, or due to neurological conditions. It also can vary from being subtle like a nudge, to strong as in it can be visually observed too!
When these contractions became painful, they're called spasm/cramps and are caused by the same reasons above, added with overexertion or after having a strenuous activity. Overall, it is still wise to make sure you ate adequate meals, stay hydrated, and rest enough to minimize the effects whenever it comes by, alright?
OKAY.. but, this doesn't explain the whole ordeal we have as systems, so did we hit a dead end? Not really, i have some actual answers going on here after some many reading and sense-making;
What could that possibly be..
If you have heard about the Central Nervous System, you must meet it's younger brother: Peripheral Nervous System, CNS and PNS for short.
So, if CNS consists of the brain's and the spinal cord's nerves, the PNS would be every nerves and sensors outside of it--your finger tips, neck, face, legs, all of the limbs you can think of.
Now you're thinking, why mention this? Because the only bridge where neuro/psychological meets physical, is from the central to the peripheral! When CNS is where all commands and actions comes from, somewhere must be equipped to running those tasks accordingly, which is PNS's job.
Now if a switch is happening, many things are happening inside the brain as well, in chemistry and electrical-impulses wise. Apart from adjusting to the part that will be out next, it has this kind of recalibration from the CNS to be attuned to this part which could create peak brain activity, sending overexcited impulses in the initial stages,, pain also counts as the byproduct sometimes. Now this is where the the impulses are not intentional by the CNS, but caught by the PNS, which is why many physical effects happen right before, or in middle, or after the switch has been complete though it differs for everybody. (it can be as minor as shivering or eye-defocusing too)
Here's a similar condition (yet not widely used in the medical world) that you guys can learn too, dropping it here!
Okay, but why?
We now know what has been causing it, but probably that isn't satisfying enough for you as an answer? No worries, i gotcha covered!
We have been equipped with many involuntary responses when something happens, take some for an example:
Knee jolt reflex when a medical hammer is struck
Sudden retraction from painful, hot water
The coughs that comes along from an accidental choke
These things seems to happen without us needing to think of doing it manually, still with the examples as references, i will apply different reasons to why twitches happen in a switch;
When muscles are too stiff or loose, twitches can happen to reset the tone to its original state
It can be used to regulate muscle coordination to ensure movements are 'calibrated' (like how i explained before)
Could be due to adjusting to the CNS's output of energy/activity, especially if it suddenly changes
A response after being surprised by external stimuli (which could make sense because the body 'wakes up' again after the next fronter comes in)
Yes, but...
But not all experiences twitches, and instead felt weak or unbalanced or unable to coordinate movements or all that,,, how did the opposite happen?
Nobody's brain work the same way, that's the first thing you must remind yourself. This itself has a whole different involuntary response that comes with switching, which i also have the answer for;
Some switches have excitatory effects, while some have inhibitory effects depending on the person, some might even experience both kinds or just one.
If the PNS responds to any orders the CNS give, the CNS, instead of creating crowding arrays of nerve impulses, tells it to tone down everything on purpose to reduce any clashes from brain synapses or anything related to prepare for the next stage, make sense? Which then brings us to less controlled limb movements or balancing, or even sometimes affecting wakefulness.
Here are some inhibitory-related conditions, one way or another!
Takeaway
Just a simple reminder that any existing stress or conditions (mental or physical) can affect the quality of the switch, which is why it's important to take care of one's health to reduce the intensity of the physical symptoms that comes along with as well as safety measures to reduce any discomfort or harm that can happen in the process.
Sadly, i do not have a say in how to specifically help systems with any excitatory or inhibitory responses, coming from a system that has smooth transitions with little to no effects, so i want to hear how you guys experience and handle those moments! This can also be a moment where you guys share tips or tricks that can benefit others too, so i appreciate any contribution related to this topic!!
So, what do you guys think about this? let me know your thoughts alright?
- j
#did#actually did#did community#did osdd#did system#dissociative identity disorder#sysblr#plural#system stuff#jeducates
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I'll apologize for this later-
But I was thinking about Blitzwing deciding to just build model trains in the mines with Caprison and-
So model trains come in a variety of different sizes, measured in gauges, some of the largest being G gauge, 1:25 scale of the original (45 mm wheelbase (width) and 16mm scale (1:19.05), and the smallest being T gauge, 1:450, 3mm. There are others, see the image below.
So one cannon I've heard is that Blitzwing's about 30ft tall, which I'll run with for the general purposes of this... ask. This makes him about 6 times the size of the average human (1:6), which I'll also run with. If Blitzwing were to run G scale model trains, then that's the equivalent of running trains around the N scale (the equivalent is a 1:150 scale, and N models vary from 1:148 to 1:160).
N scale is pretty small! Not the nightmare that running T-scale would be, but it's still nothing to snuff at.
But it's still doable. G-scale in particular is great for outdoors use, which a mine shaft IS outside, and the size itself is pretty reasonable to do.
My question now is: How does he get the trains, tracks, additional model decor in the first place? Is detroit safe from at least some of the robot menace but every model train manufacturer tremble in fear at the 30-foot-tall robot raiding their places every so often?
Firstly, don’t apologize because this is the best ask I’ve ever gotten (sorry other askers)
Secondly, omg I never thought I’d get to learn so much about model trains and I love it! I always like to learn this type of info from people. Share your deep passionate knowledge with me for we are creatures of the same neuro-spicy cloth✨
Thirdly, I did kinda think Blitzwing would be crafting his own model parts, since we know him to be a bit of a sculptor. He’d probably download schematics online but then Caprison would point out the inaccuracies and help correct them. But now I can’t stop thinking about a 30Ft robot showing up near closing time being like “Hi, yes I need supplies and materials”
Icy enjoying organizing and putting everything together; Random enjoying painting them; Hothead enjoying playing with them when no one is looking 👀. He def has to start hiding them from Lugnut cause he gets angry that these “tiny inferior locomotives” are getting in Megatron’s way!
OMG Blitzwing making a web page and posting pictures of his trains online being like “hi new here. Do these models look ok? Any tips?” And he makes online friends and they suggest the best shops to order from. He takes commissions and delivers them and that’s how he makes enough money to buy materials for his trains! Ive done it; I’ve connected the dots!
Agahsjdkdlror He makes a YouTube channel about how he makes his trains and that’s how the autobots find them! “Remember to support me on Patreon, so I can keep making my son happy with my tiny trains.”
Sorry now I’m just having fun cause train model YouTuber Blitzwing is my new favourite thing ever. (Thank you for your ask and I’m sorry for my answer)
#transformers#transformers animated#blitzwing#ask the dragon#this video is sponsored by professor Sumdac….no seriously he’s right here *lifts him into frame*#Hothead: Like Comment and SURVIVE!#Random: for every like I’ll spare one human in my next raid ✌️
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A Cure For Solitude XIII
"This is a public announcement brought to you from your closest SCP. Please tune in for the latest medical news regarding the pandemic.
RIAD Type 2, also called Rabies Lyssavirus Autoimmune Disease, is a highly contagious virus which can be transmitted by saliva or blood, and it has no cure. It mainly affects the nervous system, altering its normal functions and destroying tissue.
Early symptoms of RIAD-2 can include moderate fever, excessive salivation, and migraines. The time period between contracting the disease and the onset of symptoms is usually from 24 hours to 2 days.
After the First Stage, the time before reaching the last stage depends on the distance the virus must travel along peripheral nerves to reach the central nervous system. For the average adult, this is at most 5 days.
By the Second Stage, the individual experiences a significant drop in temperature, alongside short-term memory loss and difficulty with speech. It is advised to quarantine after experiencing these symptoms.
After the Third Stage, it is mandatory to report to authorities. Symptoms include delirium, long-term memory loss, and tremors. At this stage of the disease, neurotransmitters will start failing, disconnecting the body from its core neuro-system. This can induce shock and cardiac arrest. The body will move without any biological response, cease breathing, and blood circulation will stop. Internal systems will fail, and tissue decay will begin. Most infected bodies can no longer move independently and will succumb to cardiac and respiratory failure, beginning the process of decomposition. Do not approach a Phase Three individual under any circumstances, even if unresponsive. The individual can still move on impulse and is highly contagious.
In the final Fourth Phase, if not deceased by now, the individual may exhibit an agitated, if not aggressive, state. Their remaining human cells, while decaying, will seek organic matter as a replacement. Individuals past the third and fourth phases are violent, uncooperative, and highly contagious. They are no longer alive and cannot be saved; they need to be properly disposed of. Please maintain a distance within the secure perimeter and alert the authorities of any possible breach.
Stay inside, stay put. Stay safe.
Now, onto the weather-"
Taglist: @whump-blog @cupcakes-and-pain @crunchypuppy06 @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl (comment to get added/removed from the list!)
#promptfactory#originalcharacter#my ocs#prompt#whump#whump prompt#whump scenario#whumpee x caretaker#zombie whumpee#zombie x human#medic caretaker#zombie#whump writing#writing snippet#medical whump#acureforsolitude
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NINJAGO FANS ON TUMBLR 🙏 READ THIS IF YOU MAKE OCS OR LIKE TO ROLEPLAY
Me and @beaconhillsdruid are teaming up and hosting a Ninjago Next Generation role-play (seasons 1-14 are canon throughout this storyline, 15-16 and dragons rising are not), and anyone is free to join! This is a LGBTQ safe space and we’d love to have you. 💙
This roleplay is a semi-literate (paragraph at minimum) to literate writing packed role-play. We will host arc role-plays and write arcs. We will have mini-arcs and major arcs.
You will also be allowed to make your own fanon elements as long as you get it checked out with us.
Arc’s are canon to the storyline roleplays and arc writing allows us to write your character into our story. Submitting a character you acknowledge that we will use and write your character in the arcs, in chapters. (We will try to keep the arc stories mostly secret and up to theorizing, and we will do our best to listen to everyone and pay attention to their characters and get your permission.)
Currently Kai, Skylor, Zane, Ronin, Neuro, and PIXAL are all taken characters with Next generation OC’s made for them.
Please read our rules channel, our lore channel, and grab some roles.
(I do not want to see any pro-shippers in this server. Greenflame shippers and Llorumi are not welcome here. Proshipping goes for: pedophilia, incest, abuser x victim. I may not be able to list every single problematic ship onto here but you get the memo.)
———————
LORE (written by @beaconhillsdruid )
After the dramatic events of Season Thirteen of Ninjago, which saw the Ninja bravely defending the city against new threats, life settled into a more peaceful rhythm. With each passing day, the citizens of Ninjago City enjoyed a sense of security, knowing that their protectors were always vigilant. The ninja continued to protect the city, until one by one they each started to choose different paths. After the passing of Master Wu.
Kai and Skylor were the first to start their new path, settling down, and taking over Kai’s dad’s blacksmith business with Skylor. Soon after the two got married and had kids. The second pair to follow was Jay and Nya, the ever inseparable couple found joy in marriage and parenthood as well, along with opening up their own mechanic shop. The third pair to follow in getting married, was Zane and P.I.X.A.L, their love holding no bounds as they also went through the journey of parenthood, and the two also stayed and started to help improve technology around the monastery.
Then there was Cole, he had decided to start traveling and helping those in need after the events of Shintaro. And after seeing how happy his friends were over the years after getting married and having kids, Cole decided he would go back to Ninjago City and settle down and start a family of his own. And now finally there was Lloyd, he remained steadfast in his dedication to protecting ninjago. He however chose a very much different path then his friends. While his friends found fulfillment and joy in starting families, Lloyd kept his purpose of protecting Ninjago from threats. He was content with the solitude and freedom of not having kids. And settled for being the cool uncle, and a future teacher to his friends' kids to help them channel their elemental powers.
————
CURRENT EVENTS
Lloyd Garmadon, master of energy, has been guiding the next generation of ninja to pass down the children’s predecessors legacy. A few years in the past, the ninja had sought out to dig through the history of ancient ninjago. To the end of King Vangelis’ reign, Ninjago has become peaceful, and the ninja have retired their elements in those years.
Peaceful as in too peaceful.
Amidst the peace, you find yourself in the ranks of the next generation ninja group. It doesn’t matter where you came from or how you got there, this is the family they have founded and the family you have been welcomed into with loving arms.
From time immemorial, Ninjago is doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.
—————
#ninjago#ninjago rp#ninjago oc#oc#lloyd garmadon#cole brookstone#zane julien#nya smith#kai smith#ninjago lloyd#ninjago cole#ninjago zane
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Jane
Whumptober Day 17 - Collar. CN: BBU.
Birdhouse Taglist: @neuro-whump, @rosesareviolentlyread, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whumpsday, @firewheeesky, @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question, @highwaywhump
-
Occasionally in her life, Avis had been stopped by strangers and asked for help. It happened more when she’d been out with Franco as a little boy, deemed safe by the social role of mother-with-baby. She had helped students, tourists and, once, a lost and very teary child. She had given directions, advised on train times, confirmed bus stops and held tiny, damp hands until they let go to run to daddy.
Even today, she was a middle-aged white woman, so she was occasionally deemed a trustworthy source to someone in need. So she was not overly surprised when a pretty young woman approached her in town and asked, in an American accent, if she had a second.
“Of course,” Avis replied, smiling. The stranger was wearing a simple thin jumper and leggings, so probably wasn’t selling anything, and wasn’t dressed up like she was from a Church either. Probably a tourist.
The girl smiled a wide and beaming smile. “Thank you,” she said, and seemed about to say something else. Then she switched tacks. “I’m trying to find a…government place. Or an embassy.”
They wouldn’t find one of those in this little town. As for government buildings, “I don’t think they’ll be open on the weekend. I can have a look online, though?”
“Oh.” The girl’s face fell, and then quickly she put a smile back up. “I’m sorry to bother you. Is there anywhere that could shelter someone?”
Avis looked at her more closely. Her hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed recently, just scraped back into a ponytail. She was clean and there was no smell, but there was a thinness to her face that suggested she wasn’t eating well. Habit flicked her eyes to the girl’s neck. Her jumper came up into a turtleneck, but…
There was something underneath, if she wasn’t mistaken. “I know somewhere. Can I ask how you ended up here?”
For the first time, the girl broke eye contact. She hesitated before saying, carefully, “I had to run away from some bad people.”
It made sense, but she still needed more. “Would you consider speaking to the police?”
The stranger shook her head. “They didn’t do anything illegal,” she explained. “I signed up for it.”
Avis closed her eyes suddenly, the words making her stomach lurch. She knows, she knows all to well, the lie that the pets tell. “Okay, sweetie. I want to ask you a more personal question. Before that,” she adds quickly, “I want you to know that keeping people as pets is not legal here.”
The stranger nods. “Okay.”
Avis studied her face. “Can you tell me your designation?”
There was no hesitation. No hint of confusion. No blanch. “Romantic.”
There it was. Of all the towns in all the fucking world, they’d bring a pet – illegally – to this one. Avis almost smiles. She’s going to make sure this poor girl never has to go back.
“Alright. You chose the right person to speak to. My name is Avis, and I’m going to get some help for you. Do you have a something I can call you?”
“354531,” the girl rattles off without hesitation. Then she pauses. “Or, um…” A blush blooms on her cheeks.
“I’ll call you Jane for now,” Avis interrupts swiftly. “And if you think of something you like better, just let me know. Do you have a place you’re staying right now?”
Jane shakes her head, not objecting to the name.
“Alright. Let me make some calls.”
-
Florence saw them coming up the drive. Avis went out alone to do the shopping, and now she was getting out of the car with no shopping and there was someone else with her.
The new person moved with fluid grace, holding herself like a ballerina. Every motion was a smooth one. She even closed the car door with elegance. Florence pushed their glasses up their nose to try and see her more clearly. They didn’t know her, but they recognised her.
They looked to Kamala. “She’s like me. A Romantic.”
Kamala looked worried. Often, Kamala hid that she was worried, from Florence and everyone else. But Kamala didn’t much like strangers. She said, “I wonder why she’s here.”
Florence got up. “Let’s go see.”
-
Tenten was ready for the shopping, and came out of the kitchen when he heard the door. His disappointment at the lack of groceries was swiftly forgotten at the sight of a stranger with Avis. Avis never brought strangers to the Birdhouse, not without lots of warning. Tenten felt his back starting to stiffen, his jaw lock up.
“Hi, Tenten,” Avis greeted him, a little sheepishly. “I’m sorry I haven’t done the shopping yet. This is Jane, and she needed some help.”
Tenten’s eyes flicked over to the stranger. She had black hair, pale skin, and had folded her arms behind her back. She smiled falsely. “Hello.”
He felt himself relax, just marginally, his shoulder blades lowering a fraction. She was a rescue. He couldn’t unlock his jaw yet, but he gave her a nod and tried to return her polite-pet smile.
“Jane is going to stay here for a day or two while someone from Durham drives up down to collect her and take her to a shelter that has room,” Avis explained. “I know I wouldn’t normally bring someone new here without letting you guys know, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
Tenten relaxed in compassion. He knew what it was like to be wandering, recently free but not yet understanding the weight of it. The streets all looked the same, and the people all looked away from you. She was lucky to have found Avis early on.
“Welcome,” he pronounced with care, only lingering on the ‘c’ for slightly too long. “It’s – safe. Here.”
Jane smiled a more genuine smile. “Thank you,” she replied softly, emerging slightly from behind Avis.
Avis seemed pleased. “There are a few more people about, but we’ll let them come down if they want to. Let’s go sit, through here if that’s okay. I can talk you through things in more detail, and then we can look at getting you some basics.”
-
“A new rescue?” Roman whispered.
Tenten nodded. They were together in the kitchen, sharing a moment at the table. Roman had snuck in after hearing unfamiliar voices. Tenten always seemed to know what was going on, so he had asked, and as suspected, Tenten knew exactly what was happening.
Tenten seemed calm, or maybe just distracted, sitting relaxed and still in his seat. “She met Avis in town. She’s not staying here bec-cause Avis says we don’t have space.”
Maybe he was trying to be calm for Roman’s sake. Roman was surprised to find he did not like the idea of a new rescue in the house. “We have spare rooms upstairs though,” he pointed out. “The music room and the craft room, and the library, and the box room.”
“I think-k,” Tenten takes a breath, hearing the stutter. He smiles kindly at Roman. He’s always kind. “Avis want-ts you to s, settle in more.”
“Oh.”
Roman thinks about how long it was since he arrived here, after the people who had taken him across America and across the sea. He wasn’t sure of the exact details, but it had been cold when he had arrived, and now it was starting to warm. There were green bits in the garden that hadn’t been there at first, and the afternoons were starting to be sunnier. It was at least two months, not as many as four. He could ask Avis for the exact details, but not if she was busy with a new rescue, one who needed more attention.
It would be lonely with a new rescue, he thought. Even though everyone was nice, especially Tenten with all his experience and knowledge, and the understanding they had of being Help At Home pets together… It wasn’t the same as getting that special help from Avis. He would miss her gentle encouragement when he tried new things. He would miss knowing that she was looking out for him, and if he struggled at something, she would step in straight away to coach him. It was going to be difficult to be like the others. They were all so good at being free.
But that was what Tenten said wouldn’t happen. There wasn’t going to be a new rescue. Roman would be the new one for a while longer.
“I think I need to settle in more, as well,” he admitted.
It was hard to admit those things to Tenten, who was so good at being free that he ran away. But Tenten could already name the million ways that Roman wasn’t perfect, because that was what they were both trained to do. One more wouldn’t matter.
There was no judgement in Tenten’s smile. His eyes were warm chocolatey brown in the afternoon sun. “Don’t-t worry,” he said. “You’ll – get there.”
-
There was an extra place set for dinner. Everyone was here except Avis and there were two plates set. That was the first sign.
They had been asleep for the last two hours. It had been a bad night, a night of staying awake and trying to be calm and trying to not disturb anyone, while sitting under their desk waiting for the intruder to break in. A night where their training ran around and around in their heads, the threat assessments they can’t turn off any more than Kamala can stop diagnosing people. They almost went downstairs, as if they would find Florence there, and help them in some small way to make up for everything they were meant to do. But they hadn’t been able to move.
So now, on waking up at the call for dinner, and coming down, and sitting at the table in the dining room while Tenten served up food for them all, Boo stared at the two empty plates that were side by side and wondered whether the knife on their right would be deadly enough if thrown.
When Avis came in, the intruder loomed behind her, tall and slim in an old jumper and with a low ponytail hanging off her shoulder. She moved like a Romantic, feet silent, limbs coordinated with grace. She smiled like a pet. She sat like a pet, back straight, head upright, with a diffident cast to her gaze that suggested she wasn’t used to making eye contact. Around her neck was a thin golden band, with some clear gemstones sparkling along it. Pretty as it was, it didn’t try to deny that it was a collar.
When Tenten brought in the food, she leaned to the side and glanced up from under her lashes to thank him in a sweet voice. She picked up her knife and fork, and paused, waiting for someone else to start eating.
Boo couldn’t ask, of course. Their words had never been further away. Their face had never felt more frozen. They couldn’t do anything about this. The stranger at the table was something they could not control.
Florence and Kamala. Tenten and Roman. Avis. All as normal. Chatting softly, eating, relaxing together, and she was in the middle of it all as if she belonged.
But she didn’t. The barcode on her wrist looked real, but her expressions gave it away. Not a hair out of place, not a twitch, not a flinch, nothing. Nothing at all except exactly what she wanted to show.
Control yourself. The voice in Boo’s head. The voice in hers, they had no doubt.
Her eyes lingered on Florence. Florence was looking back at her with interest, no doubt drawn to the performance of a Romantic.
Boo had failed in their mission, and Mistress Tara knew. She knew because she had sent someone to do it for them. She knew, and she didn’t accept failures.
Boo hadn’t even known there had been more than just them. Was this impostor new, or had she been trained after the hunter had failed to return?
They had to make their choice.
#whump#whumptober2023#bbu#no.17#box boy universe#pet whumpee#recovery whump#the birdhouse#boo#avis#roman#tenten#kamala#florence#i wonder if people actually use the character tags#my fic
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hi! can you do mondo with a fem s/o who's autistic?
Mondo Oowada with a girlfriend who is autistic
hello I am officially autistic now. I got like a 25/15 on the whatever the fuck LOL!
there's gonna be a lot of "if you-" because yk how broad this shit is
-Mod Souda
❤ He is different than others when it comes to certain social interactions, and when he noticed that you had some unique tendencies, he wasn't malice about it. A lot of people in his class are particular, so it's not as if it's the first time he's encountered any traits like yours.
❤ Like your strange sense of eye contact. Your eyes always glance at his before immediately avoiding them. Fujisaki does the same thing, but it's harder to get used to from his S/O, as it feels un-intimate. But he finds it a bit appealing when he does this: mid conversation, flickering his eyes to something that catches his eye, and then looking back at you for you to be staring at him like this O.O .
❤ When you ramble he does tune out a bit but it's okay he gets the general consises.
❤ ^ nah but there's a lot of "I told you that", "no yeah sure of course yeah I remember".
❤ If you're sensitive to noise then his motorcycle roaring is gonna be an inevitable pain, but if you worry about it enough he might warn you when he's on his way home so you can put on noise-canceling headphones or such.
❤ ^ His anxious loud-voice gets louder when he gets nervous around you (in a flustered way) and it could have definitely scared you away, so now that recently he has learned about your hatred of loud noises, he feels grateful that you stuck around.
❤ If your a picky eater and you have certain cravings he'll steal the food for you before coming home. How dare his sweetheart be hungry without him... (food might fly away while he's riding home but-).
❤ You have a harder time expressing emotions but it's okay because so does he, so easily enough, the two of you kinda have a psychic-esq connection of i love you and you love me... yeah good okay happy we are on the same page.
❤ He thinks it's amusing when you're blunt, especially when it's targeting towards him. If you say something off-putting or even socially 'offensive' he'll just laugh and not correct you.
❤ A con is if you tic then he's laughing srry.
❤ If you're the type to go non-verbal it's okay because he'll talk enough for the both of you.
❤ If anything, when you're stressed out, he can pull you into his chest while you two lay together for cuddles. He is so WARM.
❤ ^ And he's also fine with not touching you at all and giving you space (temporarily)...
❤ You get very anxious sometimes in public and his way of handling that is just yelling at strangers to get back: yelling (of course).
❤ You always think he's mad because of his behavior and it's hard to try and comprehend that he's just like that.
❤ This is a vaguely specific and neuro-typical thing but he adapted to your habits very quickly, because again, his classmates all have similar behaviors. You're grateful that he did because it saved you a lot of explaining and apologizing. You feel safe around him. You can do the weirdest thing like stim in a hit-head or hit anywhere else way and he'll just not try to stop you like "babe omg no >.<" or whatever other neuro-typicals do.
❤ He's very calm and care-free about it, which is absolutely perfect.
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Yes finally requests open! I love your way to write!
I wanted to ask if you could write smut for my two faves boys: Jackson and Andrew<3
Nothing more, maybe fot Andrew some Italian phrases!
It's indifferent you can start from who you prefer :) Thank you bestie, have a good time!
Time After Time (Jackson Avery x Reader)
summary: You and Jackson love “sneaking around” with your relationship.
tags: oral (m. receiving), smut, kissing, biting, teasing
a/n: this is just like comfy smut haha, i’ll be reblogging with the extra deluca when that is done tho!! :)
It was inappropriate, you both knew it.
Sneaking around with Jackson was just so much fun, you couldn’t help yourself, and he couldn’t either. You had been busy all morning and finally caught a second to yourself when you felt him pressed against you, his body had become your new safe haven.
“How has your day been, doctor?” He asks, quietly into your ear. Damn him for making everything sound sexy. “Been running myself ragged helping the younger Grey with her neuro trial. She told me to go take a break and maybe a nap.” You laugh as he turns you around, pressing your body against the nurse’s station. It always just feels like it’s the two of you when you’re together.
“I have coffee and I think I can help you with your break.” He murmurs and you smile, looking up at him through your eyelashes, “That sounds like an offer I’d be more than willing to take.”
With that, you take your coffee and he takes your shoulder, lightly guiding you to the nearest on-call room, Jackson was nothing if not a gentleman. Usually.
“How’s the plastics posse?” You emphasize the ridiculous name that Sloan had come up with as he chuckles softly, “Definitely could be worse, Sloan let me do a… shit, I’ll tell you later.” You feel his cock pressed against your back, your scrub pants being kicked off with your shoes onto the cold floor.
You giggle as Jackson’s lips meet yours for just a second before beginning to travel, from your lips to your neck, leaving small, harmless bites, then to your breasts, biting at the flesh for a short time. You whine at his teeth hitting your nipple as he laps the sensitive bud in his mouth before moving on to the other one.
His hands are warm as always, contrasting the sterility of the cold on-call room. All you could ask for in this moment is more of him, and he’s willing to pay that price, no questions asked.
His lips meet with yours once more, pulling his pants off, slowly, allowing his cock to spring free from it’s confines, you pull away from his lips, a grin etching onto your features as you drop to your knees, looking up to him through your eyelashes before wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, which throbs slightly as you bob your head against him, slowly at first, allowing him time to adjust to the feeling, before slowly but assuredly, taking more of his cock. You struggle not to gag against his cock pushing further down your throat, but the groans he delivers as a result are more than worth it. His hand entangles itself within your hair, allowing some of the work to come off of your shoulders as he guides your head, slowly and carefully, his throbbing cock coating the inside of your mouth with pre-cum, he’s closer than he’s letting on and you know it better than anyone.
You smile up at him for just a moment, one look from you that tells him all he needs to know, before he just lets go. One look from you and the inside of your mouth is coated with hot cum, you allow him to finish and then remove your mouth from his cock, careful to not get anything on your scrub top.
“You know, I could just-.” He starts as you silence him, “Don’t even, I can’t fall asleep for that long, Avery. You can just owe me for it later.” You laugh as he does alongside you, the two of you falling into the bed together for only a few seconds, you then sit up, grabbing your pants and shoes, pulling them on quickly as you feel his look of adoration on you, soft, like his features.
“Alright, now, I’ve gotta go kill this neuro trial, tell me about your Sloan thing later?” You ask, smiling at him as he simply nods with exhaustion, “You bet.”
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came to the conclusion as I have several times before that I am simply not cut out for my job. I am bad at it, slow and a poor communicator and passive and easily overwhelmed. they said it would take about a year (from hiring? or from being on my own? either way) but whatever makes people slip into the flow and anticipate needs and Know The Supplies, maybe I would have gotten it had I gotten the normal training. maybe I wouldn't have. its easy to say 'oh I'm struggling because I'm in a unique situation' and maybe that's true, but I had trouble long before we got the Unique Training part, and then since the training was so different I had trouble with that, to the exasperation of my trainers and co-workers. and it really didn't feel good every day to know you're not living up the expectations and standards of the people around you, to know without a doubt they're all smarter and more adaptable and quicker-thinking than you.
I'm doing okay now since I'm one of the very few people on my unit and they desperately need me, and leadership is covering for my inadequacies by sending me to do easy stuff when I need to get floated, but like...there are team members who are extremely hostile to me and its for good reason! and it makes it worse to know THEY'RE not the ones in the wrong. maybe they could be nicer, but if I truly had confidence in myself, it wouldn't bother me so much.
but I don't know what to do. there is no other job I can do with these qualifications and skills, and no way to leave this city until late next year. and I need this income. I'm going to limp along until I can safely extract myself, but until then, we'll all have to bear it. and it's a terrible thing, to know you're a burden on your team and that you're only here because everyone else has quit. if I thought I would ever actually put someone in danger, I'd of course leave immediately. but I'm doing relatively straightforward cases with very qualified people all around me, and I know the basics to keep people safe at least
I find myself thinking about my strongest critic, who quit a few months ago, and how much my failure to adapt may have led to that decision. maybe it's self-centered; there were many issues far before I came along. and they haven't spoken to even their closest friend here in months, so I think they probably resent this place a lot and want to leave it all behind, and I don't blame them
things have gotten so much better recently because of those staff members quitting and my manager waking up to realize she has to actually support us, and I don't dread going to work anymore, even to float. tho we haven't been canceled in ages 😔 I don't know, I think the true issue is that I just need more predictability and stability in the things I do on a day to day basis. I learn slowly, and I have trouble remembering things. ideally I would find a job where we do a limited type of low-acuity cases every day but still....pays as well? I don't know, I don't know. give this another year then I'm sure everyone will be happy to see my back.
it's difficult to see yourself as incompetent, disliked, and unwanted in your job, and not have that bleed over into your personal feelings about yourself. it's really hard. I think of my failures and the anger, contempt, and aggression that came to me as a result, and it really makes me nervous. we're doing cases in another part of the hospital soon, with different people. it was such a mess last time! why was I so overwhelmed?
it's frustrating. I know I can do some of these cases - even difficult ones like livers and kidneys- and do them perfectly competently. I'm fine in any belly case. I even enjoyed neuro. I just freeze up when I don't have confidence. I don't know what to do all the time! and I need to be in a situation where I do. I don't know how much work I can even do on my end to Not Be Like This. studying didn't seem to help, and I can't study from the internet anyway since every place does things differently.
I've always thought I'd either leave here and then go back home, or stay exactly in place, but I could still stay a year and then just get another job in the same place.
I've always wanted to get higher certification, but knowing the people around me are way more competent without having that, it feels like a joke. a slap in the face. I dont have anything neat to wrap this up with it's just. I've always been so good at school and so proud of that even when I don't have much else to lean on. so this feels really bad. I should contact my EAP counselor today
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To be honest I’ll never actually post anything besides this on here and it will probably be a depressing post.
I hate my life. I’m losing a good reason to wake up every time I get up. It’s to the point where waking up and staying awake is a chore and would just love to bedrot. I’ve written suicide notes on suicide notes and I’ve written one for everyone. I’ve even written a poem and some stories.
I love my friends and my cats but thats all anymore. Even then I still struggle with my friends. I hate talking or trying to start a conversation now and most of my messages feel like they are hitting brick walls.
I hate my body. God is my body disgusting. I feel like throwing up looking in the mirror. I can’t go anywhere without covering up my body. If I’m seen without a hoodie I scurry like a rat till I feel safe.
I hate the stress. I’ve been degraded my whole life. Whether it be in elementary for doing nothing and being the odd one out for being neuro-divergent, To being bullied and degraded by my own mom and dad. Im able to drive and the elementary high school bullying went to being attacked, SA’d, talked about everywhere and being hate crimed. All of these things because what.? Im different from you all.? That justifies your need to attack me and shit talk every one of my uncontrollable insecurities day by day.? Well guess what assholes you are winning.
I hate living. I’ve never had a break. No matter how hard I work. No matter how hard I try. No matter what every single break ends up being dragged into a worse and worse event. “Let’s go to the amusement park” Friend attempts suicide. “Let’s go to vegas get a break take out some anger.” Dog dies. “Im gonna go camping and unplug for a while.” Come back and boom I’m removed from their life and I’m the bad guy for wanting a break from life.
I struggle to stay happy. I miss being a kid. Clueless to the horrors of what was to come. Unable to understand why the kids would laugh or point at me. Blind to the hate. I miss the days where I could look around and take a deep breath and enjoy it.
I’ve lost hope. No coping methods work anymore. I sit on my blood stained mattress wondering why I just add to the stains without finishing the job. I try to find the good in the world or the stuff to make me happy but all I find is a fistful of cats and friends. Nothing makes my happy anymore.
My own family lets it happen. I love being in able to work because of how hard it is to focus. Everyone says “Take your meds” “If you just took your pills” “You wouldn’t fail if you were medicated.” Well guess what? I have been taking them. You pay no notice because you all spend that time berating me. Shoving more pills down my throat for what? A reason to blame me for your anger?
So I’ll leave this earth. No one who is part of my blood ever acts like they care anymore. I wake up to hear “Your rude asshole” For making breakfast and apologizing. I get beat for cooking my dad and brother a steak I saved up for so they can be happy. I get publicly shamed because I was sick and refused to eat. I am the bad guy in every situation and when Im not, Im attacked, Degraded, Left to rot.
If you want me to take them, I’ll take them all. I wish crying myself to sleep at night at-least was a good enough cry for help. Its not. They slow painful feel as my body aches dragging my almost dead limp appendages across the floor to rest just to be called to do more work. They hear me cry. They see how much pain I’m in. They know my condition.
Maybe this is a cry for help. On a day where maybe I’m not always thinking about killing myself something changes that. I wish just once that I may be free from this cycle of constant negativity, But it will always go un-answered.
When I’m gone and days quieter look for me in the fields. I will be sitting besides you although you may not know I’ll be there holding your hand.
Im sorry for wasting your time. You may hate me and this stupid rant. But its no different you just join the common mass. I left a-lot of details out to protect and so my classmates or friends don’t report me to the school. If you know me and you see this. Keep quiet.
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Left Behind - Chapter 48
For anyone that needs a catch up have a look at this post here
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
Read on Ao3
It was a relief when her painkillers finally kicked in. She had been starting to get fidgety, too anxious to get involved and actually help rather than just sit on the sidelines, busted leg be damned.
Lucy knew exactly where her boys got it from.
Dosed up and crutch free it was easier to move across the rubble strewn street and head for where she had last seen Virgil. Scott would be better off waiting until they knew better what was happening with Tia, her eldest would no doubt be full of well meaning concern and questions when he did find out they had her.
Sometimes distraction was better though.
Lucy needed a distraction.
She didn’t have time to think about what Val had said, not too closely.
Not when her exact point was playing out in front of Lucy’s eyes.
“Virgil down there?” She asked Jules as she approached the line of people shifting rubble.
“Yes Ma’am, he and Scott are both there.”
When Scott had snuck past her and into the same hole as his younger brother, she wasn’t sure. She didn’t like it, but she couldn’t say she hadn’t expected it.
“Scott brought the stretcher and med kit Virgil requested.” Jules clarified, obviously catching the frown Lucy knew she had let slip.
“Right,” She sighed, glancing up towards the hole, “And we’re still clearing space to get Tia out?”
Jules nodded again.
It seemed there wasn’t much Lucy could do for the situation, by rights she knew she should help somewhere else on the pile.
Except, she needed to know what was going on with Scott. Even if the eldest did pay attention to his brother, Lucy wasn’t convinced he would make the decisions he should. A romantic at heart, she knew Virgil would no doubt give a little too much leeway where Scott was concerned.
“There’s room down there for more, I think Virgil mentioned getting the walls shored up?” Jules offered.
Torn, she hesitated. It wasn’t fair to crowd the boys, they knew their job and were perfectly capable. None of them had seen a loved one injured in quite such a serious manner before though, for Scott and Virgil, it was uncharted territory.
A shout from further up the line drew both their attentions, sudden demands being thrown about that Lucy couldn’t quite make out through her helmet. People were moving though, shuffling closer to the hole she knew led to her two boys, urgency straightening their forms. Above ground it seemed like nothing had happened, but Lucy had seen enough of that kind of rescue to know below the surface things could be very different indeed.
“Virgil?” She prompted through her comm, “Sit rep.”
The pause over comms was only a few moments long, but the wait was enough to set her heart thundering in her chest. The fear and possibilities of the silence clustering in her thoughts without any prompting.
“I tried to move some debris to free Tia,” He reported, breaking the silence and slowing the thrum of Lucy’s heart, “The place wasn’t as well shored up as we had thought and some rubble fell in on us. We’re all okay, just set us back.”
It perhaps wasn’t as assuring as it could be, but at least she knew they were alright. Nobody had been hurt any further, they were as safe as they could be.
“What do you need?” She asked, watching as the team settled back into their pattern of shifting rubble to allow the trio an escape.
Her son’s sigh was heavy as he paused, clearing his throat as her HUD told her the line had become private.
“The best neuro team you can find on standby,” He murmured, “But I don’t think it’s looking good.”
Biting back a curse, she sucked in a breath. There was little else she could do but follow through on the request though.
“F.A.B.” She murmured, “I’ll get onto it now.”
“And Mom?” Virgil stopped her before she could head back to Thunderbird Two.
“Yeah?”
“He’s going to need us.”
It was a statement she didn’t doubt.
It was perhaps what scared her most.
“I know, Virg,” she murmured, “I know.”
***
She was coughing as the dust settled again, her face scrunched up and her hand tight around his. He tried to ignore the smattering of blood across her lips, dark against the shade of porcelain her skin had turned whilst he had been down there. It seemed pointless to ask if she was okay, when it was so obvious she was anything but.
“Everyone okay?” Virgil asked them both, his shoulder mounted torch momentarily blinding Scott.
He waited for Tia to answer first, not concerned about the few rocks that had ricocheted off of his back as he had leant over her.
“What di’ you do?” She slurred, eyes blinking hard in the low light, “My legs--”
Scott straightened at the comment as she broke off with a small cry, his eyes straining in the darkness to see if Virgil had managed to free her lower half from the rubble.
“What Tia?” He prompted, “What about your legs?”
Her eyes darted to him, glassy and unfocussed as her fingers clenched around his again. With each breath, her bottom lip quivered, a small whimper occasionally breaking out.
“They hurt.” She whispered, “Everything hurts.”
“It’s okay.” he tried to assure her, his own voice catching in a way that had nothing to do with the dust, “We’re gonna get you out of here soon and some painkillers.”
He kept talking as Virgil worked around them, quiet assurances and soft questions that he demanded she answer when her eyes started to droop too much. It wasn’t reassuring when her eyes started to drift and her worlds slurred more. Virgil put it down to the head injury, but even in the low light Scott could see just how pale she had become.
“Time to go,” Virgil finally announced, “Scott you first and we’ll follow.”
It seemed wrong to go ahead, to leave her prone when he knew it was the bit that would hurt most. Virgil needed the space to work though, to shift the rocks that were still pinning her legs. As he straightened he squeezed her hand tightly, ensuring he had her attention before he left.
“I’ll see you on Two.” He told her, leaving no room for argument.
“Scott?” She called as he pulled away, her shoulders tensing as he hand searched for him.
“It’s okay,” He turned back to her, crouching again with a smile, “I’m still here.”
She smiled, the sort of half asleep smirk that he wasn’t sure she entirely knew had crept onto her face. Her eyes were drifting closed again as her hand grew slack in his and it was a strain to hear her words that followed.
“I love you.”
He swallowed hard as he squeezed her hand again, gaining no response apart from her soft breath.
“Scott.” Virgil interrupted, “I need to move now.”
Snapped from being able to dwell on the words, he looked to his younger brother with a quick nod.
“Go and get Two ready for launch.” He ordered, “We’ll be right behind you.”
That he could do. Flying was second nature.
It was almost without thinking that he pulled himself out of the hole and headed for his brother’s ship.
He couldn’t afford to think.
Thinking was going to hurt too much.
He just had to do his job.
#scott tracy#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds 2015#lucille tracy#left behind AU#Left Behind Part 5#scribbles writes
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Welcome to Club Neuro-Consent. Some call it Club NeuCon, some call it CNC, and some call it free-use heaven. Only members may enter and entrance is allowed only after being cleared for STIs. STI tests must done on site by our private physicians before interacting with any other members. To become a member, you need to take a test. It is lengthy, but it helps us to program your CNC chip. The CNC chip gives all club members a list of your kinks, fetishes, and boundaries. With the CNC chip, other members around the club who inquire as to your interest in them will receive a signal, from your CNC chip to theirs, giving them non-verbal confirmation of your consent. We have Profile stations around the club to adjust your profile as desired. There is also an attentive staff to help you with adjusting your profile as needed, supposing you're too tied up or if the Profile stations are unavailable.
Please start by acknowledging our roughness scale.
Start by submitting your safe word
0 - Nothing but visual acknowledgement.
1 - Light touching
2 - A warm touch
3 - Full embrace
4 - Firm passion
5 - A heavy hand and or thrust
6 - The threat of the crack of the whip
7 - Receiving the whip
8 - Receiving an aggressive whip
9 - Basically a ragdoll
10 - Basically a pincushion
You may choose one or as many as you like to suit your needs and or desire of experimentation.
Private rooms may be reserved. With private rooms you can select how many partners, if any, you would like to allow enter the room. You may elect to have cameras in the room for the purpose of streaming to other club members.
If you choose to stream from your room, you may elect to only allow select members to view, or you may make it publicly available to the entire club. No streaming content is recorded or streamed outside of the club.
All manner of toys and tools are available upon request. If you have any specific needs, you are expected
Note: Any kinks involving threatening or physical harm will be restricted to private rooms and red halls. You may enter through a sex-neutral hall and lounge to get access to your private rooms if you do not want to pass or stay throughout the halls allowing displays of attraction, affection, and play.
All of our staff are medically trained and there are doctors on site for any concerns or accidents, but we ask all of our members to always practice and play with safety as their #1 priority.
Now please, come in, relax, and be ready to have your every sexual fantasy fulfilled. Bring a friend, bring a partner, have some fun on your own, and or even make new friends.
#CNC chipped#cnc story#k!nk blog#nsft story#kinktober#free use kink#cnc free use#free use toy#nsft oc#cnc k!nk#k!nk community#k!nks#k!nk tag#k!nky thoughts#dirty talk
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