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keenzinemugstudent · 1 year

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Clark Kent x black thicc fem reader! Clark accidently walks on you changing and he stays to watch you.

⚠️Warning a bit of soft NSFW so if you a minor respectfully get tf out please⚠️

Clark was outside your apartment holding flower's repeating his apology in his head over and over again so he wouldn't mess up. He was supposed to take you out to the movies but he was busy which she understood completely until you showed up at his apartment only to see him and Lois in a lip lock. You'd been avoiding him since than, he tried to apologize countless times but she just said that it was fine and just ignore him whenever she had the chance. So here he was in front of your door holding your favorite flowers and snacks in hand to make up for the movie night.

"Okay Clark you can do this just knock on the door and hopefully she'll accept the apology." He took a deep breath in and knocked twice

"Y/n? It's me you home?" There was no answer he looked under her plant where there was a spare key that she gave him he was surprised it was still there seeing as how mad she's been at him he thought she'd threw it away. He unlocked the door stepping into the apartment it was clean and he could smell fresh made coffee and cookies. He set the flowers in chocolate down on the sofa trying to see if it could find you anywhere in the room that's when he heard your panicked voice coming from the bedroom.

"Oh my god!" He rushed over to see if you were okay he stopped and what he saw made me question his life.

"Diana I can't believe you got me this!" You said spinning around in front of the mirror wearing nothing but a black laced lingerie (🔝picture at the top🔝) which fit your body perfectly Clark hide behind the door feeling his face going warm this was a big surprise for him he was so used to seeing you in baggy clothes this was new.

"Think of it as an early birthday gift." He could hear Diana's voice over the phone. Your birthday was only in a couple of days but Diana away on business and wouldn't be back on time. Y/n squeals posing in front of the huge mirror. Clark just keep watching, feelings his breath go shallow and even unloosed his tie feeling like it was choking him which was impossible of course but still! Seeing his long time friend dressed in nothing but lingerie made it heard to breath. Of course he always thought you were a beautiful young woman but this was different from what he usually saw you wear. It bothered him but not in a bad way but lord have mercy he didn't know you had THAT kind of body! And the thoughts he was having about you wasn't helping!

"I'm surprised you were even able find any in my size Diana." You sat on the bed stretching your hands above your head to pop your back causing your breast to bounce a bit. Clark clenched his fist already feeling his pants tighten he watched you cross your smooth legs and as you reached a hand up to move a bit of braided hair from your face you weren't wearing makeup not that you needed it because he always thought you were beautiful.

"Well I had a bit of help from Bruce." Diana says teasing.

That bastard! Clark had a glare on his face from hearing that and seeing the blush on your face wasn't making it any better.

"Well uh tell him I said thanks I guess?"

"Haha I was just joking little one. I bet if I said it was a gift from Clark you'd be fine with it." Your blush got bigger which surprised Clark a lot.

"Speaking of Clark...I wonder if I should call him or not? I mean I've been avoiding him the whole week and I'm starting to feel bad about it Diana." The sad tone in your voice caused Clark to frown.

"Maybe send him a text?"

"And say what? 'Hey Clark sorry I've been avoiding you but hey I'm jealous that your girlfriend gets to kiss your delicious lips and not me!' Yeah that'll fix everything!" You yelled out falling backwards on the bed He let out a small chuckle, you thought his lips were delicious?

You got up from the bed and Clark watched your backside which made him let out a low groan in the back of his throat. Fuck he shouldn't be here. He needed to leave but his feet wouldn't move, all he could do was watch you go pick up a bag and pull up another set of lingerie this time it was red.

"Maybe if I'm lucky someone will get to see me wearing these." You blush at the idea with a shy smile, Clark leaned on the door way which caused the door to slightly open wide.

"Maybe that lucky someone will be the man of steel of himself. It would definitely surprise him."

Oh Diana didn't know how right she was, it definitely surprised the man of steel. Both women said goodnight to each other hanging up on both sides.

"Oh! That's right I have coffee and cookies downstairs a perfect time for a snack!" Before Clark could react you had already turned towards the door and stopped when you saw a familiar face.

"C-clark ?!" He froze he's been caught you stood there looking at him with shock and embarrassment looking around the room trying to find something to cover yourself with which was nothing but two small pillows to cover your chest and front bottom half.

"What are you doing here?!" You yelled at the red in the face reporter who was stuttering out to answer.

"I-i came to apologize, I knocked but you didn't answer."

"So you walked into my apartment?!"

"I used the spare key..." He looked down feeling guilty it was silent between the two you were the one to speak.

"How long...how long have you been standing there?"

"Since you thanked Diana for the gifts." She blushed dropping the pillows causing his eyes to go wide but quickly covered them.

"That's means you heard our whole conversation?!"

"Y-yes but-"

"No! No! No!"

You hid your face in your hands and in this very moment you wished a villain could crash through the apartment but then again you didn't want anyone else to see you in this type of clothing this whole situation was just embarrassing!

"I'm sorry I should leave..." just as he turned to leave your soft spoken voice stopped him on his tracks.

"W-wait!"

He turned to look at you as you let out a deep sigh removing your hands from your still red face walking towards him slowly hips moving as you walk he could only stand and watch as you get closer to him. When close enough you put your small hands on his chest moving up to his neck looking him straight in the eye.

"P-please don't leave... I want you too stay." he wanted to say no...move her away...tell her It was wrong he had to think about his relationship he tried to think about Lois but he could only think about you. You were the first person who found out about his secret and didn't tell anyone. You were there when he wanted to find his parents and supported him the most when his father died. The Zod innovation... being there for his mother when he died. He did love Lois but...

He noticed your lips getting closer to his, he also leaned down wanting a taste of your lips, but stopped himself it was wrong.

"Y/n...we shouldn't.." he said he didn't know if he was talking to you or to himself but you looked down shyly looking at his pants were there was tent.

"I think you want to stay Clark." You got on your toes to kiss his forehead...both his cheeks than the corner of his lips he let out a small sigh feeling your soft lips on his face than started to reach down to his neck he put his hands on your hips feeling how soft they were in his hands. It kept everything inside not to break to not pin you against the wall and have his way with you. He was so surprised because you were such a sweet and shy woman he didn't think he'd see you trying on lingerie and make a move on him, fuck!

"Clark?" He let out a hmm letting her know she had his full attention.

"Do you...do you want me to stop? I don't want to ruin our friendship or your relationship so please stop me from doing something stupid." you say looking up at his blue eyes both hands on his cheek's he starred into your eyes feeling conflicted about this. He could hear both his and your heart beating fast at the same rhythm, both were in sync wanting the same thing, he shook his head.

"I think...i think I should leave." When saying these words your face fell. He sighs gently kissing her hands.

"Your so beautiful Y/n...i want to so badly take you right here but God I-i can't it wouldn't be fair to you or to Lois..."

You have a nod looking down at the floor he saw a tear fall which made him feel even worse. He forced himself away from your body but that's when he felt his phone vibrate pulling it out, it was a message from Lois, she cancelled having dinner with him saying she was going out of town for a report which was gonna be a while month one she didn't bother telling him anything about! He clenched his phone almost breaking it that's when he heard your voice.

"Clark? Are you okay?" He removed his attention from the phone and back to you you had a cover over your figure and was giving him a worried look even after making her upset she still wanted to know if he was okay. The woman who's always been there for him and has admitted to having feelings for him for quite a while of time maybe his relationship with Lois was just a some part of him wanting to feel human or maybe as thank you he wasn't sure but he knew that he didn't want to leave you he wanted to stay here.

"......I've changed my mind." He watched as her beautiful eyes went wide and a cute blush form on her cheeks.

he took off his glasses setting them on the desk on his left side walking forward, gently grabbing your face wiping away the tears starting to appear.

"But what about Lois?" You say putting hands on his chest you were unsure about this you didn't like Lois but go you wanted Clark so much now was the perfect chance.

"Let's not think about her...just focus all your attention on me okay?" He says kissing her forehead, nose, cheeks than finally her lips causing her to let out a small gasp in shock he could feel her hands on his back grabbing on his shirt.

"W-wait Clark I'm... I've never-"

"Shh I know you've never done this before right?" You slowly nod, "well as an apology I'll make you feel amazing tonight I promise." You look at him before whispering an "okay" hands shyly on his belt buckle he gave a small smile than went back too kissing your lips walking into the bedroom closing the door behind them.

He was going to make up for everything that's he's put you through for both their sakes.

He'd have to thank Diana for the lingerie set later

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

I can't believe I fucking write....this I cannot believe I fucking write this omg I'm honestly blushing like crazy guys you don't understand how embarrassed I was while making this don't forget to comment I got to go cool down a bit

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shylemon0 · 2 years

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Clark Kent dating an Autistic!Reader would include (Headcanons)

Watched man of steel and now my dumb dumb brain decided to not function because of this man 😭 fucking hell, why can’t I just watch a movie without crushing hard for a character!?

(As always! Autism is different for everyone and this is mostly based on how it is for me)

Warning: Autism things, meltdown, harmful stimming, talking about a ableist stereotype

(Gn) ———

· He adores you and thinks that you are the most wonderful person he has ever met! · It’s pretty hard for him sometimes to keep calm and hold back when he sees someone being hateful towards you in any way, but you are there to help him stay calm and collected which he appreciates a lot (though he secretly does something to make the people that bothered you life’s a little more difficult)

· Oh you just know that he’d love to join in on your stimming, if he sees you extremely happy so much so that you’re jumping and flapping your hands he’ll get really happy himself and join you in jumping which just makes you even more happy, also him just trying out different types of stims he has seen you do so he can find out if it’s something that could help him too

· He has some understanding of the struggles you have, since he had a lot of sensory issues when he was younger that he grew out of, but he understands that your sensory issues aren’t something that you can just grow out of like he did and is super supportive of your needs and wants to make you as comfortable as possible with him · We all know that stereotype that autistic people have no empathy and because of that stereotype we are basically seen as less human, well Clark thinks that’s ludicrous, if anyone you are one of the most human person he has ever met

· He will happily help you if you want in social situations if you find that difficult, he’ll order for you when you’re eating out, he’ll explain something someone said that you didn’t understand in conversation, anything really to just make your life a little easier

· You absolutely loving to run your fingers through his hair when he has no product in his hair and it gets all curly and soft · Him wanting you to be safe at all times therefore never telling anyone that knows him (except his mom ofc) about your relationship so no one that wants to hurt him could get to you

· If you ever were having a meltdown that was so bad that you were hitting yourself he’d try to stop you by telling you to hit him instead (not in the face just to clarify) since it won’t hurt him, but you most likely wouldn’t do it since even though you are in the state you are in you still can’t bare the thought of possibly hurting someone you love, it melt his heart when he finds out why you won’t hit him but still would try to encourage it if that’s the only ways you can get out your frustration so you won’t continue harm yourself (he just ends up stopping the hitting completely and helps you find a different way to get out of your meltdown)

· The texture of his suit is fantastic! You could spend hours just running your fingers over it or just looking at the details on it, sometimes Clark will just find you having his suit on the table when you analyze it, it’s the best texture and visual stim in the world!

· His love language is touch but he will hold back until you are completely comfortable with him and tell him that you are okay with him hugging you and all those things · Calming each other down when the other is overwhelmed

· He loves spending nights with you watching movies/tv series and talking about each other’s interests, he just loves to see how happy you are during those moments and wishes they just could last forever

(I have a taglist now! It’s on my pinned post if you want to know more about it!)

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dailycaligura · 6 months

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Draw Caligura in winter clothes please

Oh hell yeah, I can finally use my winter design for him somewhere, God bless you anon.

Day 26. Mission in winter.

Fashion is pain, as they say.

#fear and hunger #caligura #poor heels need to handle that 120 or smth kg man. they must be from a fucking steel 😭😭#also random last name headcanon drop yeah #it’s suppose to be ice on the ground btw

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9h05t-f4c3 · 2 months

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Do you think Clark being an alien is a metaphor for autism like he felt different he /was/ different and he got bullied for it and he didn’t know why and then he’s told he’s an alien and suddenly everything makes sense but there’s also that dreadful feeling of him knowing he’s always been the odd one out, of knowing he’ll never really be “normal” because to society he’s /not/ he never was “normal” in the first place

#i’m having thoughts #autistic Clark Kent #clark kent #kal el #superman #autism headcanon #new headcanon #kaz shut the up #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #man of steel #batman v superman

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atesomerocks · 2 years

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wanted to establish myself as a big tiddie edgeworth truther

#miles edgeworth #ace attorney #aa #fanart #illustration #honestly im only rlly posting this for consistency #also lemme drop some headcanons abt this man in the tags #firstly this is a whole ass transgender. you can fight me on that #gay man and demi aro bc!!! more demi aro rep and also i feel like it fits well #mans got migraines bc i will project #autism. this is a whole as autistic. steel samurai is his special interest alongside law.#one last one i think he does minimal makeup like concealer and powder along with verie subtle contouring #thats all i will share now im gonna go lay down now #my art #clown does art

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daincrediblegg · 1 month

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the only effect that watching fallout gave me is it made me want to play fallout 4 again. and made me miss nick valentine like the fucking dickens.

#hey remember when I made that headcanon so popular about hancock owning a sphynx cat that people drew fanart of it?#my first brush with internet fame... my god how far we have come #new ghoul is cool too but he's no john hancock for me so far. we shall see tho #also man fuck the brotherhood of steel. as usual #also insane that matt berry is in this and also michael emerson. I'm losing my mind #also ONCE AGAIN PLEASE GIVE ME NICK VALENTINE #I miss him so much y'all.

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ask-the-sexyman-squad · 3 months

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so guys, how are yall gonna plan the baby shower?

“Honestly, it probably should be private…but I dunno! It’s up to DT and Dad Alastor. Though I have a suggestion! We should get a ring bear for the ceremony! It’ll lighten things up.”

“A WHAT??”

“Little Miss Sunshine, that’s a wrong type of celebration for a ring bearer!”

“She said bear, Alastor…”

“….Oh.”

“OH INDEED!”

“We aren’t getting a bear period.”

“…why is she like this.”

"A sweet little suggestion, but I'm afraid we're going to have to decline it, my dear. As for it being a private get together, I absolutely agree on it!"

"Especially with how easy things could get out to the public...not that I hate the spotlight! I just don't want this being known...aside from just doing the spell and turning out to be successful, we don't have a solid plan yet."

"How about we make a solid plan tonight? That way we'll be prepared and ready for the birth in three months: demonic pregnancies are much shorter than average, thanks to magic. As to you folks, stay tuned for that!"

"THREE MONTHS????"

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cashewally-sarcastic · 4 months

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Bestie please please please go off on the rambling cause im rotating the A gang (Amos and the Anemos) as different flavors of aro and / or ace. Amos is Ace to me but not Aro while Deca is the flipped and this is such a communication issue between them

Also Venti gets insufferable when he realizes ar(r)o(w) puns he could make (hes also GREEN)

Ventus casually gose "I care more about writing about relationships than being in one" and hes somewhere on there

First of all yeah Venti WOULD be insufferable but also good for him we love to see it, new favorite headcanon for Venti 100%

Second off again I'm mostly drinking my own headcanon juice but mondstadt is a fucking place man. Like I don't want to use the term found family because idk people like to put the nuclear family roles into that but also mondstadt crew is a found family to me. Like especially the younger generation (bennett, fischl, mika, razor, klee to some extent) are all very...idk. Vibes you know? Don't know how else to explain it, do you get what i'm saying?

#also the 'older' generation (the knights mostly) just feel like found-ish family too ya know #but then i start ACTUALLY getting into headcanon juice but i love how like...the protection of mondstadt is so interesting #like yeah everyone has their differences and grievences but also they cooperate a lot #and everyone being the best caretaker of klee ever is so nice #like lisa (and varka) helped razor a bit. jean and kaeya and albedo look after klee.#there the adventurers guild for bennett and fischl so they're not alone either #idk man mondtsadt feels homey and groupy #ALSO (completely different) me too venti me too #<- writing about relationships but not caring for being in one #hi steel!

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waters-and-the-wilde · 2 years

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no okay we can get some mileage out of 'interested parties witnessing the Dark Matters broadcast'

Alessandra Strong. spends two years thinking Juno walked to his death in the desert 'cause he never did manage to reach her in Long Way Home. and then there's this fuck-off Dark Matters press conference airing on every channel everywhere.

and her wife's in the other room having Noped halfway through the speech on account of having Seen Some Shit and deciding it wasn't worth the number it would do on her ptsd, but comes running back in bc all she can hear is alessandra yelling at the monitor JUNO???? JUNO STEEL. JUNO STEEL WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL. HOW. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MANAGE THIS. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.

her wife: 'the fuck. is that that lady? oh no this is gonna do a number on your ptsd. your weird presumed-dead sort-of not-ex is a space pirate? omg is he seriously about to do a bit cause the director kinda looks like she thinks he's OH HUH THE SCREEN JUST WENT BLACK. welp. jfc not this fucker again. honey listen to me. you're not helping him. whatever's going on you're not helping him. you literally lost part of your hand last time you did that. you were gone for a week and you straight-up did not come home in one piece. that was an extremely bad time for both of us.'

alessandra: 'I FUCKING KNOW OKAY. doesn't matter. he's gonna die there, he's not gonna do it, those people are his friends. did you see his face he looked like he was gonna be sick. he’s never gonna - shit. they’re gonna take him out.’

her wife (who is maybe uh suuuuuper disillusioned with the solar authority after being stuck as a pow in the outer rim for years bc they couldn't get their shit sorted): 'hey. hey. nah come on they wouldn't have cut the cameras if they thought they had this one under control. good for him tbh? i mean. fuck dark matters, right? that speech was some bullshit. that's off the fucking deep end. shit. i'm invested now. we'll keep an eye out for how they spin this okay? hey maybe he'll turn up again in two years somewhere even weirder.'

alessandra: 'you're not funny'

her wife, who is funny: 'yes i am'

alessandra ‘my wife isn't nice but she's pretty and smart and tough and funny’ strong: 'yeah. yeah you are'

#hi i miss my wife #i wanna meet her wife #i still cherish a lil headcanon where she's like #'can't stand the concept of juno steel. but if i ever meet that guy he was hung up on? gonna buy him flowers.'#the penumbra podcast #juno steel #alessandra strong #tpp #you know i'm not clear if nureyev cut just the lights or all the power?#got the impression it was the latter but if it was just the lights and the audio gets out?#man that'd be something else #ptsd mention

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talentforlying · 9 months

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i want to gnaw on all of constantine's less well-known interests. like we've already got the things like punk rock, sci-fi tv shows, cats, and philosophy down cold, all the adaptations have covered that ground well enough. now i need more talk about all the t.s. eliot he quotes. the michel books he was reading in fear machine. the history of london that he's memorized so thoroughly he can run demons over to the consecrated ground of a chapel that hasn't been there for 300 years with his eyes literally closed. the marlowe and william blake he knows backwards and forwards. now that's the good shit.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#not like my ass talks about them much either sdhjskds but that's why this post exists innit #man quoted dr faustus and the waste land within like 5 pages of each other i'm truly obsessed with him #he's such a nerd he just doesn't talk about it often #sometimes i feel like i'm being melodramatic when i have him quote stuff in my writing but nope he's just fuckin Like That #part of it's just that he likes to play the pretentious know-it-all if it gets a point across but he also genuinely loves to read #and either has a memory like a steel trap or a discipline for memorization like you wouldn't Believe #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

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prydon · 2 years

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thinking about my headcanon that juno got on antidepressants during s3

thinking about how i very much doubt the aurinko permanent corrections facility provides medication like that or allows you to bring it with you

thinking about just how bad the withdrawal symptoms for many antidepressants are if you go off of them cold turkey (and also how going off them cold turkey means that, you know, you’re no longer reaping the benefits of them)

#personal #juno steel #tpp spoilers #withdrawal --?? idk what to tag this as #obv these are just my headcanons so i don't expect canon to take it into account but. man #wish i was capable of writing fic that doesn't have nureyev in it so i could write something that riffs on this

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rcdiostcrs · 6 months

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sheamus is immune to most demigod weapons. due to having no godly heritage, celestial bronze, imperial gold, and adamantine pass right through him. stygian iron and bone steel, however, can affect him. but seeing as how only children of the underworld can wield stygian iron and bone steel is what the norse use, he's pretty safe.

it's a right of passage for new residents to freak out during war games as their blade passes right through sheamus. he just grins as they panic before stabbing his short sword at them.

#tw: weapons #tw: injury mention #tw: stabbing mention #*sheamus #sheamus —☆— headcanons #//#noël rocking up w/ her bone steel kyoketsu-shoge & arnis bastons: i'm about to end this man's whole career #working on a pjo weapons masterpost so have this while i work on actually writing out what everyone uses.#taking a guess that bone steel would work on him but since it's based on a real thing i figured it would affect him.#but stygian iron working on mortals is canon.

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screechingnerdwombat · 2 years

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DC Headcanon

Krypton and Earth are the greatest interspecies rivalry of all time! Here’s why:

Krypton is a very ancient and technologically advanced race, while Earth is a relative baby in comparison. Superman, having been born on Krypton, was raised as a human and is caught between two very different worlds. He struggles to reconcile his alien heritage with his human upbringing.

Whenever Kryptonians show up, as in the New Krypton saga, they often express bitterness that Kal-El has chosen the humans over his own kind. On the other side of the fence, humans are naturally frightened of this arrogant race of super beings who have shown hostility on a number of occasions and show no sign of letting up. However, humans are stubborn and adaptable. We will fight to keep what’s ours at all costs. At the end of the day, Superman will fight for US and Kryptonians hate that shit.

#DC Headcanon #superman #Kryptonians #Krypton #Interspecies Rivalry #that's not even counting the guardians' favoritism #new krypton #krypton and earth #superman and lois #smallville #DC comics #man of steel #superman 2 #Lois and Clark #supergirl #suck it krypton

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josiebelladonna · 2 years

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the eclipse fics in a nutshell

sleepless eyes, closed to light: oddly tender, pho is sexy, slightly heartbreaking

devil’s dance: fog, marty friedman made into a vampire anyone?, gay omegaverse

venus in furs: louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves louie in gloves

angel’s trumpet: vampire alex, doing it on the floor, turning blue, “good boy”

frangipani: invitation to the woods, joey is into bdsm… turned a lot of type o headcanons sideways… heh hehe hoho 😅

the cuckoo clock: alex is soft, coupl’a boys doing it doggy style before breakfast

mise en abyme: my insecurity over sex toys put into a humorous perspective, mark accidentally gets into it

dreaming of you: alex’s full, soft voice put to sensual use whilst ensconced in velvet and the black of night. eric is also hungry.

diamonds and guns: FUCKING EPIC, there’s a car accident and then alex gets a stripper pole, leather teddies, and body glitter. chuck also says probably my favorite thing i’ve written in a fic ever, “you sexy little matzo ball.”

suicide blonde: eric and florence confessing and getting hammered. bah-BOOM!

camera obscura: lily nicks the skol-camera and takes a bunch of naughty pics to surprise alex and it goes oh so wrong. rob gets some “free porn”, too 😂

monolith: alex brushing his hair in the mirror and being a bad boy 👀

my girlfriend’s girlfriend: hot metal and superheated water, a sex bot?, two girls and a bad plan that will lead to saving alex. sounds like a lost wayans brothers movie and what i get for growing up in the 2000s

the moth: lily hiding in the closet and watching her kid sister nibble on a couple of filipino boys. good lord that sounds wrong 😆

covalent bonds: i shit you the fuck not, the idea for that one came to me in the middle of the night as i was falling asleep. i described it as “terry gilliam directed a sex in the city episode only way more gay”

tiny bubbles: alex taking a bath and francine just waltzes right in to use the toilet. discussion about feeling gross and dirty in the genitalia. the real tension exists with them, after all (and also alex and eric).

magic stick: eric and a pregnant florence hiding in an extra large coffin in a mortuary from killer robots. this one is weirdly wholesome?

night of the witch: two words: slutty alex.

rattlesnake shake: krista missing joey because she will always love him and alex thinking of krista because he wants someone to love him.

bailar conmigo: joey and alex doing a very vague dirty dancing homage (i somehow managed to avoid using “nobody puts baby in the corner”)

basil hallward blues: a roundabout reference to dorian gray, with joey being dorian gray and chuck being basil but also lord henry (like blood from a stone is an odd little homage to dorian gray, because i love that book so much)

effets de soir: alex is by himself and peter calls, and thus ensues a very interesting conversation (i also unpacked some more type o headcanons, probably for good this time, that tag is awful quiet right now 😅)

disciples of the watch: remember that episode of family guy where lois gets fat and peter wants her fatter (or that episode of malcolm in the middle where lois gets fat and hal wants her fatter)? yeah… 😏

cosa del pantano: a de facto double date in yosemite and probably the weirdest shoutout to gary paulson’s hatchet books known to man.

fresh deadly roses: alex resisting the urge to screw chuck silly… while lilian is sound asleep right there right next to him. king diamond’s fairies also may or may not be aphrodisiacs.

man of golden words: the eerie inhabitants ‘verse set in the mid-2000s, with flip phones and everything. need i say more 😜

the sensual world: slutty alex, meet slutty jeff.

blood for poppies: t.s.o. era alex sans the t.s.o. part. featuring an eclipse!

last day in paradise: sending up a similar thing with disciples, but in tahoe. also jeff is on a bicycle and being a good boy for alex 👀

summer in the city: alex is so cold from his state of undeath that lily wants to play with his thermostat- that is the worst thing i’ve ever said, what’re you doing?

dust in the wind: shirtless joey, alex in tight jeans and showing his tummy so much love, pumpkins, candy, a tiny knife, and a big ass nod to the exorcist. any questions?

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