Have you never heard of such a thing, darling?
(The Timari Buzzfeed Unsolved AU)
Chapter 5: The Mysterious Case of the Dupain-Cheng Household
Lovingly, if you guys want to leave off on a kinda happy note, I suggest not reading this last one
Adrien smiles at the screen. He looks human, even if his hair is a little tousled and his skin is a little too clear. He probably could be a model, if that was what he wanted.
Of course, that was clearly not what he wanted, as he was currently filming a video for YouTube.
He waves to the camera.
“In this episode, I am going to solve the mystery of whether Tim Drake and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are dating!” he says, before immediately turning the camera around to show the pair of them curled up in bed together. Tim’s face is pressed into the crook of Marinette’s neck, his arms wrapped around her tightly even in his sleep. Marinette is awake, one hand lazily playing with Tim’s hair, the other doomscrolling on her phone. “Sorry, Gothamites, but it looks like you’re not going to get Tim back.”
She looks up at Adrien. Tries to look mildly annoyed, as if that will distract from the red starting to dust its way across her cheeks.
Adrien gives a dead-eyed stare to the camera. “Anyways… yes. They are dating. Save me.”
Marinette sets her phone down to give Adrien what can be assumed to be a rude gesture, but it is censored with a giant demonetization symbol.
Adrien only laughs in response, blowing a kiss her way.
She rolls her eyes, but still responds by blowing him a kiss of her own.
The demon seems to light up at the affection, a bounce in his step when he leaves.
Adrien pulls the camera away, and the video continues to follow him as he walks downstairs and takes a seat on the couch. For just a moment, people start to wonder whether this was a simple mistake and he forgot to cut out this part of the video. Confused viewers touch their screens, wanting to check to see how much longer the video is supposed to be continuing on for.
Only to find that the video is supposed to be over.
The time stamp reads 0:28/0:28.
So, why is there more?
Adrien looks at the camera again, and all traces of joy are gone from his expression. His eyes still gleam, but this is far less amused, far more wicked.
“Aren’t my humans cute?” Adrien asks the audience. It doesn’t feel like a real question, or even just a conversation starter. It sounds like a threat. “Tell me how cute they are in the comments below!”
He rests his head in his hand. His elbow is seemingly propped on thin air, but this doesn’t bother him in the slightest.
“Now that that’s out of the way. I want to talk to all of the government officials and researchers who have decided that they want a piece of me. I’m flattered and all, but…” He smiles wider than usual, showing off a set of wicked fangs that always seemed to be missing in the looks he gives Marinette and Tim. “Stop. You have finite resources, I don’t. And I will continue to dwindle down your numbers until you all leave me alone.”
He laughs, but this time there is a cruel note to it.
“Oh, and just in case you get any funny ideas. Touch my humans and I will start bringing innocents into this. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”
He tilts his head too far to the side, his smile stretching still wider. His mouth is no longer entirely fitting on his face, the corners almost seeming to have escaped it entirely. “And don’t bother trying to warn Tim and Mari in the comments, by the way. They won’t be hurt. You will.”
The viewer’s hands paused where they had been typing out that exact warning to the owners of the channel. For a moment, they dared to think it was a bluff, they began to type out the rest of their sentence.
Then, too-cold arms looped around them from behind, crossing themselves over their chest, a body (if you could call the writhing mass behind them that) pressing against their back. A chin came to rest atop their head.
“Well, you can’t say that I didn’t try to tell you,” it said, its mouth not moving, its voice so deep it buzzed in their ears. Long, gnarled, clawed fingers began to dig into their sides, not even stopped for a second by the fabric of their shirt. They couldn’t even bring themself to scream. “Leave my humans alone.”
Blood splattered.
It paid no mind. Bloodied claws reached over their slumped form, to their keyboard.
It held down backspace.
And then typed a simple message for the channel that it so adored:
What a cute couple :)
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weird how have got seems like it should be a past form of "get" but in american english is actually equivalent to "have" in the present tense:
what have you got there? -> what do you have there?
i've got rhythm -> i have rhythm
you don't know what you've got till it's gone -> you don't know what you have till it's gone
while got by itself can be either a past form of "get" or a shortened form of have got with the "have" dropped:
i got you, babe -> i've got you -> i have you
i got you! -> what you say once you've caught a toddler you were chasing around saying "i'm gonna get you!" to
so got is a form of the verb "get", but when used as a past participle, it's a form of the verb "have". the past participle of "get" is not got but rather gotten (in american english). and got can only be used as a particle in have got; had got is generally not used (again, in american english; i know it works differently in, e.g., some uk dialects). so:
got: simple past of get, or a shortening of have got (present of have)
have got: present of have
have gotten: present perfect of get
*had got
had gotten: past perfect of get
i'm not sure entirely how this came to be, but i wonder if it's because of the get=acquire and have=possess senses; that is, once you acquire something, you now possess it, so to get something in the past is to have it in the present. but it's complicated by the fact that the have in have got is functioning as an auxiliary used to form a compound verb tense, rather than as the "have" that means "possess", even though the full phrase have got is equivalent to the "have" that means "possess".
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if I’m real with you I do believe most people are capable of learning most skills at most jobs. However work is not ONLY skills, I think there has to be a wide variety of things at play—training, mentorship, temperament, aptitude, funding, benefits, etc—but skills are how we learn and why experience is so highly valued.
if I remember correctly, in a Marxist school of thought, you as a worker are selling your labor power to your employer for $$$ and your employer is then applying it to labor that needs to be done. you don’t hold the work, you hold the power to do the work. I think given the amount of economic coercion our society operates under, this power is forgotten until strikes happen and remind us.
and I think this framework does account for experience. you get paid more as an experienced worker (in theory) because your employer is paying for all of your past labor power! so we can say labor power accrues over time and is not depleted by being applied to labor. I would not say labor power is a measurement of your CAPACITY to do labor at any given point though, only that it does not work like capital where you “spend” it. Marx probably does a much better job of laying this out but it’s been a long time since I read Capital.
But say you are not a Marxist and the idea of labor power is too much like trying to do physics equations that calculate force. Fair enough! Let us return to skills. “Skills” have, for a long time, been used to devalue certain kinds of work—as if manual labor, customer service, retail, agricultural work, teaching, cleaning, etc, require no complex and difficult to acquire skills your average office worker does not have in their repertoire. all work takes skill! this is a labor slogan. and it does.
however I think there are other skills we must hone in the work place (and in life), and there’s been a lot of talk (anxiety?) recently about skills that are not being taught. tech skills! I also think it takes skill to learn and retain information and schools do not always do a good job of teaching this for whatever reason. resourcefulness.
so if we have established all of this…why say “it’s not hard” and devalue yourself as a worker? just because you can do it DOES NOT mean it’s not hard.
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