Fuck HBOMax.

Fuck Cartoon Network.

Disney and Nickelodeon aren’t even apart of this at all, but fuck them, too.

I am so utterly sick and tired of getting invested in animated content that gets canceled, despite having good reception, for literally no reason.

The Owl House. Infinity Train. Ok Ko! let’s Be Hero’s. Ducktales 2017. Wander Over Wonder. Rise Of The TMNT (granted I’m unfamiliar with how this last one ended up since I haven’t seen the movie yet. No spoilers please).

The futures of shows like Mao Mao, Hero’s of Pure Heart and Summer Camp Island are in jeopardy too now.

I’m scared for the future of animation. I’m especially scared for the futures of shows like Tuca And Bertie and the unannounced / unreleased Learning With Pibby.

I’m just.. so fucking tired

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

after attempting to commission art of boba fett without his helmet, i am forced to consider that a good number of artists, subconsciously or not, cannot accept that temuera morrison has always been hot despite his lack of european features, and honestly this explains a lot about the fucking travesty that is every single clone's face in TCW and TBB

it's kind of sad to say but sometimes I think I'm not cut out for fandom. I've always been more of a lurker than a contributor anyway, but even then I feel like I might just be too much of a canon purist to really be part of them. so much of being on the internet is about curating your own experience, but fanon (mis)interpretations/characterizations are so rampant in some spaces, treated as canon to such an extent that some people literally believe they ARE, that they're often hard to avoid completely.

the point of fandom isn't supposed to be nitpicking every little thing for accuracy, obviously. I like talking with people about my favorite things, and seeing how my thoughts and interpretations match up with theirs. I don't expect everyone's experience with whatever media to be the same. but I think a lot of people view canon as something separate, as something they get to play around with and take the parts they like and change what they don't. and that's fine, but I don't really get it, not entirely. I like playing around with hypotheticals and what-ifs and stuff, but to me canon is always going to be superior/unchangeable. and it's even worse when people will try to use canon to explain that their blatantly fanon-based interpretations are, in fact, canon somehow. and it gets even WORSE when it turns into actual discourse, and suddenly people are claiming that not following their fanon interpretation means something about your real-life values.

it's just kind of exhausting sometimes. I love a lot of y'all on here and it can be so fun to be a part of things, even mostly from the sidelines. but sometimes all I want is to close social media forever and reread my novels in peace

Stop blaming sex negativity on sex-repulsed aces challenge [impossible]

I can’t tell whether this is me having an autism moment or whether this is the kind of thing that crops up 6 months out of a film’s release, and I’m not trying to be an asshole but hand wringing about what if btsv reveals Dana is Gabriella’s biological mother is just. Not a concern I understand tbh.

Like for one, atsv shows less than nothing about her other biological parent. We know Jack shit about whoever contributed 50% of her DNA to the point where there’s just as much evidence for like. Alt Miguel spawning this child asexually like a starfish or this baby arriving in a little white blanket via stork.

There’s no family photos in the bg, no other parent was in Gabriella’s life when her father died otherwise we would’ve been shown them etc. we have more evidence for alt Miguel being a trans man that got a sperm donation than we do a partner being involved in the creation of this kid lmao

also blah blah blah it’s a good writing decision that there’s no partner shown there because otherwise it invites a dimension of moral complication to the story (ie. the violation of trust and consent that is secretly replacing someone’s partner) that atsv just isn’t trying to court, because the entire point of Gabriella as a writing device is to be an additionally sympathetic dimension to Miguel’s motivations and guilt.

Secondly, PAD is the main guy continually referencing Dana as Miguel’s fiancé (whether past or current) and unless he somehow sneaks his way into the writer’s room, I genuinely don’t understand any kind of concern that we’re somehow going to get an other parent reveal for Gabriella when the opportunity for that came and went already, and the film writers have been very open abt the fact they’re taking liberties w this iteration of the character (Asking for Oscar Issac’s opinion on the writing as a Latino man etc) and thus Miguel’s characterisation isn’t supposed to be a one to one adaptation of any singular comic run.

GAUGH

i put a CUT HERE thanks tumblr

thinking abt how much it sucks to be disabled and care about the world and its people. i want to do THINGS. I want to help people. "but this is low effort" if youre abled, yeah. "but this is easy! just do thing!" if you don't have seizures and brain damage, yeah. It's just frustrating. Feeling very constantly stressed abt the state of the world rn and ik its self-harmy to be like... constantly looking at stuff i cant do much abt, but i also dont want to put neg stuff on my dash bc if i panic any harder ill be seizing more often... honestly i just really wish my combination of issues wasn't so prevalent as to leave me beyond bedridden half the time. I think about how many artists have had MUCH more time to practice or work. "but you dont work" no, i do. I have to be my own advocate, see doctors, take care of my body, take my meds right, get scans, it never ends. It's so tiring. Being disabled is a different kind of job and i wish more people would acknowledge that. I get a SMALL govt stipend but most of it goes to my bills or food. I live okay enough ofc, but like... I dunno, i feel i'd be less fucked up if i could go for walks but (laughs in american infrastructure being wheelchair unfriendly).

why the fuck is every new feature always opt-out

opt out of having your posts blazed by other people. opt out of having your data shared for AI training. opt out. keep fucking opting out. make sure to remember to individually opt out all your sideblogs. oh you're not online anymore but all your shit's still here? tough fucking luck I guess

yeah some shit

ive had the same fucking realization over and over for the past who even knows how long. it’s not gonna get any better. yeah it’s been 2 months now, I know it’s too fucking late, but i still see my old friends every fucking day at school and it doesn’t get any easier. and i decided to push it away after shit happened. of COURSE that’s coming back around now because that’s what fucking happens when you bottle up emotions!! shoulda seen that one coming. and nooooo what do you meannn listening to songs that make you think about it and looking through photos of your friends that you might not fucking see let alone TALK to ever again and looking at the screenshots from what they said about you DOESN’T help?? why do i keep fucking doing it?? it’s almost like I want something to feel shitty about. cause we all know i crave attention, I always have, and this is just another fucking way to get it. i shouldnt even post this but I’m feeling silly so why the hell not

.

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(sorry im ranting)

aro culture is having a qpr(?) girlfriend who is super into romance and is planning out our entire lives (marriage, what kind of house we'll have, who's the big spoon/little spoon, pets, anniversary gifts, etc) and she's always super sappy and romantic to the point that it's making me a bit uncomfortable because while I was initially all right with having a gf, now I'm beginning to be super uncomfortable with the idea of getting married (even to her), and also getting uncomfortable with how emotionally immature she is (because she's absolutely latching onto the idea of us being together forever even though that's highly unlikely since I'm going to college in the fall and she'll still be in high school) and not knowing what to do because she's already been hurt before in a similar way (someone moving on before she was ready to let them go) and I really do care about her, and I don't want to make her have to heal from ME too, but I also don't really want to be in a relationship (now or ever,) and I don’t want to lead her on and make her believe that we'll get married as soon as we're both graduated because the odds of that happening (even if I wasn't aro) are very very low

(sorry if this doesn't make sense lol)

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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:

With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.

I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.

My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.

And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.

If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.

If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.

If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.

Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))

rare (actually very common) james vulnerability post um im kind of hating having bpd right now. i reeeeally really hate how the smallest thing completely sets me off and i HATE gettinf close to people and then having to hit them with the “btw if i get even the slightest feeling you dont like me or that im being replaced i absolutely will not confront it directly and will instead opt to just never ever speak again and be mad for 6 months straight” and its cost me a lot of close friendships! i’m in therapy and i am on medication and i have been for months but for some reason it’s just ??? not working??? i dunno but im feeling very Not great tonite james nation 💔 sighs soo hard and goes back to drawing star trek yuri

🐜 the only app I've bothered to use for personal posting is officially dying (vent.co, which I've used since 2018... ) so I guess I will try migrating my mind back to tumblr.

I will miss vent because often times I used it moreso as a personal diary than anything social. Farewell terribly managed hell app.

Spent tonight playing pathologic 2 for the first time though and I love it. Little idea what is going on for real!! Beat to death in the streets... Twice! Great game.

I accidentally hit the poll button and can't remove it on mobile (thanks tumblr) so.