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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 7 months

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Sketchbook Week Day 6 - Feast For The Eyes

Summary: Johanna is a cake artist who makes the most beautiful cakes in town. One day, she meets a new client who sounds a lot less certain about what she wants than she would have liked to be. And not just about her cake order, unfortunately.

Notes: Written for the @sketchbookweek day 6 prompt - Artist

Though tbh at one point this begins sounding like it was written for sun/moon. I promise it wasn’t, idk what happened (jk I do know. I got carried away by the fact that I dyed the docs in which I wrote this a pastel yellow and the symbolism and association got away from me)

Read it on ao3

They say you eat with your eyes first.

The saying had never made a lot of sense to Kaisa, to whom a frozen meal was the extent of her abilities in the kitchen. Food was just a way to keep her body up and moving, an obligation for when her hands started shaking and she felt grumpy all of sudden. If she stretched it, she could even go as far as saying that it was an excuse to spend time with the people she loved.

But this. This wasn’t food. Not like Kaisa knew it.

This was art.

The cake shop had been recommended to her by her wedding planner, and now she hadn’t a clue how she hadn’t heard about it before. Just looking at the showcase from the sidewalk had her gasping, and walking inside made her actually scared she’d damage some of those cakes just by existing near them. Kaisa was surrounded by piping work that flourished into almost realistic flowers, carved modelling chocolate figures that could very well have been found inside a toy store, tempered chocolate sculptures she was certain an engineer would have a hard time making. That was to say nothing of the colours, the drawings, the rice paper details, and the sheer height of some of the cakes she was looking at.

Yes, this would be it. Their cake would have to come from this shop, because Kaisa was sure nobody else would be able to do a better job of it. Whatever she ordered would be the best, and that was just perfect because the best was exactly what her bride deserved.

Adeline was already being put through the hardship of marrying her, after all.

The last drop for Kaisa was when she saw a cake that simply acted as if gravity was a mere detail it could ignore, with it’s icing covered in perfectly piped flowers and weeds and a watering can on top of it raining down ‘water’ upon the garden of buttercream, like it was being held by an invisible hand.

“Shut up!” She whispered to herself as she inspected the cake much closer than she probably should, trying to find the structure that was holding it up for the sake of her own sanity, but to no avail. Her soul damn nearly jumped out of her body when she heard someone chuckle behind her. She’d been so enthralled by the cakes that the thought to check if there was anyone by the counter hadn’t even occurred to her.

Kaisa jumped away from the cake - it felt like being caught red handed even if she had just been looking - and turned in the direction the chuckle had come from. It had indeed come from behind the glass counter, inside of which there were even more cake models. A woman stood there, gazing at her with amusement twinkling in her eyes. Mortifyingly, Kaisa’s first instinct was to say something extremely rude like ‘get out of here!’. She didn’t, of course, but she was beginning to feel like she’d stepped into some sort of cake wonderland. There was no way that woman was real. With her kind warm eyes and perfect auburn curls, skin rosy and peppered with the odd freckle, apron smeared with icing and buttercream of different colours making her look like a walking rainbow. Not to mention that her height made Kaisa feel small, not like a mouse or a bug but more like a queen’s loyal subject.

There was no way this woman was real. She looked more like a fairy, or maybe an angel than like a human being. And yet, she fit perfectly inside the cake shop, like she was the ultimate creation inside of it.

“Like what you see?” The woman asked with a smile, and of course, of course, her voice sounded like honey and warm chocolate ganache. Kaisa would deny it to her grave, but she blushed deeply at the question, terrified for a couple of mortifying seconds that she’d been caught staring at the woman’s beauty - while on the hunt for a wedding cake, of all things - before realising that she’d been looking at the cakes.

“Oh, yes!” She amended as quickly as she could, knowing that the moments of stretched silence weren’t ideal and that she’d been at fault for letting them exist at all. “These are - I’d say impressive, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. Like, wow. I can screw up a box mix cake, so you can imagine what looking at these feels like to me.”

It seemed to have been enough to remedy her awkwardness, because the angel at the counter smiled at her. Encouraged, Kaisa continued, stepping closer since she supposed it was generally what you did when you had to talk to another person. Even if that meant feeling the effect of that so very warm gaze even more strongly. Certainly that was why her face was heating up.

“Seriously, I have no idea how come I had never heard about this place before. Though it probably has something to do with never leaving my house.” She was fully aware that she was rambling by now, but the angel’s smile never dimmed. “My compliments to the chef, or whatever it is I’m supposed to say. Tell them that if they decided to credit their talent to some divine miracle I’d be more inclined to become religious, or something.”

At that, the other woman threw her head back and laughed, and fuck Kaisa had been right. She hadn’t been to church since she was very young, but that had to be what a heavenly choir sounded like. There was a single beam of direct sunshine making it through the trees on the sidewalk and the cakes in the showcase, and it hit the angel across the face making her brown irises shine with golden specks. Kaisa was reasonably sure she wasn’t making it out of this cake shop alive.

Except she was, because she was in love with someone else. That was enough for her. It should be enough for her.

“Message delivered.” Said the angel with a quirk to her lips. Kaisa blinked.

“What, this quickly?”

When a raised eyebrow was all the answer she got, Kaisa entertained the possibility of melting into a puddle of goo. Slamming her forehead on the glass counter also felt like a viable option, though she could see the merits in simply running away as well.

“Ugh, sorry. I’m not generally this much of a mess.” A lie, clearly, but the angel didn’t need to know that. “It’s just nerves, I guess. So you’re the owner of this shop?”

Extending one hand towards Kaisa, the woman smiled again, and she’d have to stop that, she’d really have to stop that because otherwise Kaisa might just drop her heart by her feet. There was flour and some other colourful smudges on her hand, but the librarian paid it no mind as she took the handshake.

“Yes, I am! I’m Johanna, it’s a pleasure to meet you. How can I help?”

“I need a cake.”

She was proud of herself for not saying something like ‘the pleasure is all mine’ (no way she’d be able to make herself sound not so bizarrely sincere saying that) and to even be able to speak at all after getting a name for the angel. Johanna. It was fitting. Warm. Reminded her of apple picking in the autumn. She was not, however, proud that she’d told the cake baker, in a cake shop that she needed a cake. It reminded her of all the patrons who had ever come to her to say they needed a book (in the library, to the librarian) and had earned an eye roll from her. Johanna, however, only nodded.

“Just to eat, or decorated as well?”

It surprised Kaisa that there was even a choice. She would never have thought to offend the woman’s artistic skills by just wanting to eat one of her cakes.

“Decorated, I suppose. It’s for, uh, it’s for my wedding.”

There was a long pause. Johanna’s smile seemed frozen for a second, and then it widened into a grin. Happy for her, of course she was. Why would a stranger feel at all disappointed that she was getting married? Or, an even better question, why would Kaisa care?

“Oh, congratulations! I suppose you’ll want a custom design, then?”

Will she? Kaisa had no idea, she just knew she’d been put on cake duty and was trying to do a moderately decent job of it. She was willing to trust absolutely anything the woman in front of her told her about it, though, so she just nodded.

“Yep. That’s about right. We’ll have about fifty guests, I guess.” Not that Kaisa even knew that many people. She’d invited her mother, sister, and best friend. Also her bosses, even if they sucked. Best to not let them know she hated them, and all that. The rest of them were all Adeline’s, seeing as her extended family all kept in contact with each other and their community was actually knit very tightly. Kaisa was happy for her, of course, but she didn’t really look forward to an evening of being introduced to people whose names she’d forget not a minute later. “I know that and our favourite cake flavours. I was hoping you’d be able to help me with the rest of the details.”

Though she’d almost been expecting to be called an idiot and told to come back when she had a clue about what she wanted, Johanna merely nodded. “Alright! Well, generally for custom designs I like to sit down with my clients for us to come up with the cake together. If that’s fine by you, you could come back - tomorrow, maybe? - and we could go over some ideas. I’m afraid I can’t be of help right now since one of my employees had an emergency so I’ve been having to double as a cashier today.”

“Oh, no worries.” I’ll see her tomorrow too! “That’s understandable.”

Johanna flashed her a grateful smile. “Why don’t you take our catalogue with some of the cakes we’ve made? Maybe it’ll help you know what you would - and wouldn’t - like.”

After she accepted the offer, Johanna crouched down and rose back up holding a small booklet that looked just a little worse for the wear. Kaisa thanked her for her time and wished her good luck getting through her short staffed day, and left with an appointment for tomorrow morning while decidedly not thinking about how she’d felt like she’d been hit by a jolt of electricity when their fingers brushed when she took the booklet.

…......

Kaisa let herself plop down on the couch of her dim one bedroom apartment. Technically, she’d been living at Adeline’s for a couple of weeks now. Most of her stuff was there already. But she hadn’t been able to make herself put her flat up for sale. Adele never questioned it, of course. Sweetheart that she was, she wouldn’t poke at Kaisa for something that brought her comfort, especially since that thing was the first home she bought for herself. Still, Kaisa felt the need to rationalise it. To tell herself she was waiting for a good opportunity. That maybe they’d find an use for a flat even though her future wife had her own house. That it was simply a fruit of her resistance to change that made her cling to the place she’d lived in for the better part of a decade. She rationalised if, because she was running from what she knew to be the truth.

That she was having second thoughts, that some part of her wished she’d never moved out at all.

It was far too early for this, Kaisa thought with a groan. This kind of doom thought pattern was reserved exclusively for after nine p.m. and the sun wasn’t even down, yet. She dragged herself around, making groaning sounds worthy of a low budget zombie movie, and forced herself into the shower. Any hopes of the hot water helping her to feel anything that wasn’t hollow were washed away alongside the dirt of the day (and flour, and buttercream), and she stepped out of her stall with her skin red from the heat.

Some of her comfort items had remained at the apartment, vestiges of a moment of sudden genius and self awareness when she’d been packing her stuff. She’d known she’d be back, and she’d known she’d be back when she needed those things the most. So Kaisa put on her fluffiest, worn down pyjamas and grabbed some of her plushies, dropping them by the couch on her way to the kitchen. After brewing herself a hibiscus tea, which she brought along to the living room, it was finally dark outside. So not yet nine, but late enough to feel sorry about herself, she supposed.

It used to be so much easier. She loved Adeline, she genuinely did. The woman had been her closest friend (considering Kaisa’s other friend and her antisocial tendencies, she’d really been Kaisa’s best option) for years, since they were studying Library Sciences together. They’d been by each other’s side all throughout the process of getting their first jobs, Kaisa at the municipal library and Adeline as a city hall archivist. It had been her arms that had held her through the hardest spots of her life, and her smile that she’d been faced with whenever she had good news.

Adeline was the funniest person she knew. The woman was kind and patient without a fault, and her excitement could light up entire cities. She was trustworthy, reliable, and understanding. Kaisa had absolutely no qualms whatsoever about the fact that she wanted her nearby her entire life.

So why did she feel like she was walking towards her execution?

She’d been the one to pop the question. She had kneeled before Adeline during a dinner at her favourite restaurant and asked if she’d have her hand. Yet now she counted the days with looming dread. The fluttery feeling in her belly weren’t butterflies, and she had no idea what to do about it.

Adeline was perfect. But since the reality of til death do us part had begun sinking in, Kaisa had begun to wonder if she was right for her.

Dating was one thing. They were young, still, and dating someone you don’t really have chemistry with was normal. To be expected, really. You tell yourself that either it will show up, or that you’ll both eventually find someone whose edges fit yours perfectly. But they were getting older, slowly but surely, and Kaisa couldn’t think of a single good reason to leave such a good woman, and neither did she want to put off an event she wanted to happen in her life, so why not? It had seemed not only like a good idea, but like a logical progression. It should not be eating away at her heart like it was.

Kaisa feels rotten for it. She was lucky enough to have found such an amazing person who actually puts up with her. It was beyond selfish to expect some sort of chemistry as well. She didn’t even know what that was, or what she’d been expecting. That whole sparks flying and heart stopping thing only happened in movies and fanfiction (heavens knew she’d written and read her fair share). Love in the real world was a choice. One she’d keep making every day until one day, hopefully, she actually deserved to be called Adeline’s wife.

The cake store’s booklet all but glared at her from where she’d left it at the coffee table. Like a fool drinking water to stop themselves from drowning, she picked it up.

…......

Kaisa showed up at the cake shop the following day, this time with an appointment and an actual idea of what she’d like. The cakes were no less impressive at a second glance, so it took her a second to orient herself once inside the baking paradise and realise that the face behind the counter was a new one.

“Hello!” Chirped the man, tall and lean with brown skin and long, slick, almost greyish black hair. “How may I help you?”

The unexpectedness of having to deal with someone other than who she’d come here to see gave her pause for a few seconds. The man was kind, though, and his face was carefully blank as he waited for Kaisa to gather her bearings. Eventually, she managed.

“I’m here to see Johanna?” She sounded way less certain than someone who had scheduled a meeting should. “She’s going to help me with a cake.”

The man raised his eyebrows in understanding, and gestured for her to come behind the counter. “Oh, she told me to expect you! Kaisa, is it?”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m Raven. Nice to meet you, miss, she’s waiting for you in the resting room. Past this door to the right.”

Following his instructions, Kaisa allowed herself further inside the bakery, past a wooden door that opened up two other options: forward into what was clearly the kitchen, since the double doors that guarded it didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling nor all the way down to the floor, allowing Kaisa a peep of the warm colours inside, and of the tops of towering stacked cakes. That, combined with the scent of clover and cinnamon and the clatter of pans was explanation enough. The other option was the one she’d been instructed to take, and she did, knocking on the door to the left, white paint peeling slightly at the bottom, before poking her head inside.

True to Raven’s word, Johanna was indeed inside and sitting at a wooden table. She opened a radiant smile to Kaisa as soon as her mind processed who she was seeing, and immediately got up to greet her properly.

Which was warmly, apparently. Everything Johanna did was so bright that Kaisa half wondered if the way her skin was feeling hot in her presence was just the beginning of a first degree burn. The baker got her to sit down on one of the other softly worn down chairs at the table, which made Kaisa realise just how homey their resting room was. There was a couch, also somewhat worn, and a couple of shelves with folders and recipe books. Pictures all around the walls, as well, a few showcasing cakes, but most of them being just Johanna with her staff. Two stood out as being the bigger ones; one of those seemed to be the shop’s opening day, a selfie that caught both the bakery’s front and the smiling faces of Johanna, Raven, and another man she hadn’t yet seen (but had heard his rattling about in the kitchen), with curly dark brown hair falling over most of his face and covering his features. The other one was a portrait of a single person. A young girl, blue hair tied back in pigtails, gap toothed and wearing a brown sweater that was entirely too big for her. She was looking at the camera - or, more likely, whoever had been behind it - with adoration.

“My daughter.” The baker said when she noticed Kaisa staring at the picture, and the librarian hastily turned to her to apologise for prying, but didn’t even get so as she was instantly faced with Johanna’s proud smile. “She’s at a friend’s house right now, but you could have caught her. She likes hanging around bothering Tontu or asking Raven questions.”

Kaisa tried to return her smile, but it was virtually impossible to do so, at least when you were her. The lopsided thing she offered could never have the thousands-of-gigawatts-generating power that Johanna’s had.

“She looks lovely.” Kaisa said, knowing in her bones that no one who had been raised by the woman in front of her could be anything but. Her heart squeezed a bit as she thought about a young person following her mother and friends around, all bright curiosity and eager gasps.

Adeline didn’t want children. They’d had this conversation, of course, and Adeline had stated that fact without any doubt whatsoever, and Kaisa had stuttered and assured her that the same went for her. And it did. Kaisa knew she wasn’t competent enough to be trusted with a child. It was fine. There was no reason to be acting weird about it.

“So-” Johanna said after thanking her and narrowly avoiding going on a rant about her daughter’s virtues to the new client, producing a notebook out of thin air. “Tell me, what do you have in mind?”

Not even trying to pretend she knew what she was talking about, Kaisa began listing off her ideas in the hope that Johanna’s expert mind could shift them into something doable. Even that was made harder by the fact that the angel kept staring at her throughout the entire explanation, though. She’d have had an easier time if her gaze had shifted to the notebook at least once, but it must be her modus operandi to give her clients her full attention, at least for that first part.

By the end, what they had was an idea about the flavours (tiers of chocolate and coffee for Kaisa, and others of almond and milk cream for Adeline), the decision of not having a shorter cake that was actually to eat and a taller cake that was just for show and simply decorating the smaller one, and that said decoration should include stuff that was reminiscent of the two of them.

What said “stuff” included, however, was a much harder question to answer. One which luckily Johanna seemed experienced in since she expertly stopped Kaisa from spiralling into a panic about not knowing what could even be said about her and her fiancee.

“What are you two like? Personality wise, I mean.” She prompted gently, and thinking about that was a lot more straightforward than trying to come up with symbols that represented them. That Kaisa could do.

“Oh, Adele’s intelligent and sweet.” She said with ease. Listing Adeline’s merits came as easy to her as reciting a poem. For all her anxiety, there were few people she’d even dare to compare to her bride. “She has so much energy, and for someone so nerdy and with supposedly boring interests, she has a ton of friends. Suppose she’s just likeable like that. Enjoys going out with them, being outdoors. I’m-” a miserable, lonely bastard. “- more introverted. I only really talk to a handful of people, and she’s one of them. She doesn’t tire me like most people do.”

Johanna had been watching her throughout her explanation, her smile growing bigger. She had one of those smiles that made her eyes look smaller when it pulled up her cheeks.

“Oh, you’re like the sun and the moon!”

The affirmation gave Kaisa a stop. It made sense, didn’t it? Yet the more she thought about it, the less it seemed to fit. It wasn’t that… well matched between them, she supposed. Which was just as well, she didn’t need that sort of thing. Sure, Adeline was a ray of sunshine, but for some reason, it felt wrong to give a meaning like that to what they had. Like it could put too much pressure on their bond and make it break when it couldn’t live up to the expectation.

Maybe they were a sun and a moon, but Kaisa didn’t feel like they belonged in the same system. She didn’t feel like they even belonged in the same galaxy.

Which was fine. They were the best of friends. They worked well together. No ill aligned stars made a single difference when it came to that. They were fine.

“I don’t think I’m romantic enough to go making these associations.” She answered at last, because explaining what was actually going on inside her head to the poor baker was not within the realm of possibility.

“You never know! The right person might awaken a side of you that you never knew existed.” She cooed, her smile turning compassionate. “But if it’s worth anything, I don’t go out much, either. Not many friends, other than Tontu and Raven.”

She blinked. It was worth something. A lot, really. Though she insisted she’d outgrown those insecurities, it still felt like a personal failure that her social life was virtually non-existent. But if Johanna was in the same situation, maybe she’d missed a memo and having few friends and staying home was what cool people were doing these days.

“What, you? Really?” She couldn’t hide the surprise in her voice. “I would have guessed you had a line of people waiting to get to listen to you.”

Dial it down, her mind screamed at her, her mouth snapping shut as she processed how inappropriate she’d just been. That’s way too fucking much.

The angel blushed, making Kaisa worried she’d made her uncomfortable for a moment. If that was the case, she’d simply be left no choice other than to drown herself in the nearest body of water, unfortunately. No forgiveness for hurting a divine being, she supposed. But then the woman opened up a different type of smile, one that spoke of gratefulness and shyness at the same time, timid and leaning more to one side than the other.

It was just as beautiful in Kaisa’s eyes.

“Not many people think a single mother is the height of fun, I’m afraid.”

Kaisa’s heart skipped a beat when that sunk in.

Oh.

“Their loss.” In a rare moment of clarity, Kaisa just stated that and shrugged. She hadn’t a lot of experience with that sort of situation, but she figured that Johanna must have received far too much pity and fake sympathy which she didn’t need. Kaisa wasn’t going to add to that.

She didn’t catch the way Johanna stared at her in something akin to awe for a split second, but she did notice it when the baker made her attempt to get back on track, shaking her head and putting on her best customer service voice once more.

“Anyhow. Maybe we could focus on what you have in common, then!”

Kaisa sagged against her chair. “Well, we both like books-”

…......

Kaisa goes straight to her mother’s, after that, because it’s Saturday and she doesn’t have another excuse to not go back to Adeline’s house. It should be their house, now, but it didn’t feel like it. And she knew she’d only feel tainted if she dared to go in, look at her bright eyes and accept whatever she’d suggest as a way to pass their time, after having spent the better part of two hours pining over another woman. So she goes to Tildy instead, because the elderly’s sharp mind and quick tongue wouldn’t make her feel any better at all, not in the state she was in, but at least it wouldn’t be unfair to Adele.

It went as well as could be expected. Tildy had been cooking dinner when she arrived, and since Frida was busy with homework in her room, Kaisa put herself at her service without even having to be asked. Not that she knew what she was doing in the kitchen, that much we’ve established already, but following instructions (after decoding what Tildy meant, that is) was something she was well versed in.

That meant, of course, that she was more than close enough to her mother for her to pick up on her unease. That was made even easier by the fact that Tildy had been (literally) staring into her soul for the past few months, ever since she’d announced her plans to ask for Adeline’s hand. It confused Kaisa to no end. Her mother had always seemed to like Adele, since they were friends and also when they became girlfriends, and that much didn’t seem to have changed. Yet, at every chance, she hinted at something Kaisa truly didn’t understand.

It was off putting, after an entire life of understanding Tildy’s idiosyncrasies and oddities, to not catch the one that was aimed at her.

“Still haven’t changed your mind about a bachelorette’s, I suppose?” She asked when the quiche she’d been making was finally in the oven, after having tried to pry out of Kaisa why she looked so downcast and if everything was fine for nearly an hour.

The librarian chuckled mirthlessly. “Oh, yeah. Me, my mother, my middle school aged sister, and a hyperactive weather reporter. Great party, that would be.”

Giving her a stern look that at least partly tried to convey ’I’m very fun at parties’ (which Kaisa didn’t doubt, but she truly was the only one in the list that was), Tildy scolded her. “Darling, don’t patronise yourself. You have many other friends you could invite.”

That made Kaisa openly snort, letting herself fall down to the same familiar couch where she used to read when she was a teenager.

“Such as?”

For the first time in known history, Tildy did not have an answer to that.

Kaisa went home after dinner. Her home, the little apartment that still smells like tea and lavender instead of peonies and vanilla and makes her feel incredibly lonely. She listens to cliche romance songs, and doesn’t think about her bride.

…......

For some reason, which she suspects has a lot to do with character flaws she can’t even name, Kaisa shows up at the cake shop again a few days later. She reasoned with herself that checking in on the cake’s progress was a reasonable enough excuse, even if she didn’t think she’d have the gall to just straight up ask Johanna to see what had been done so far. With her complete lack of skill in tone regulation, it would be all too easy to sound pushy if she did so.

No explanations were necessary, however. When she arrived, she didn’t come face to face with Raven, on his own in that part of the shop like she thought she would since she figured that must be his job. Instead, Raven was there, but he was looking anxiously at where Johanna and the other man she hadn’t yet personally met were carefully setting down a cake that was at least a metre high. As soon as she caught sight of what was happening, she held her breath just like all the others were doing, and a collective sigh of relief was heard when the cake was balanced perfectly on top of the stand.

“See? Told you it could hold.”

“You’re a madwoman, Johanna.”

“I appreciate the trust, Tontu.”

Raven cleared his throat loudly, causing the bickering bakers to turn to him, only to then look at Kaisa when he pointed at her and mouthed ‘client!’

The blush on Johanna’s face was entirely a result of the effort of carrying such an enormous cake, she was sure.

“Kaisa!” The woman squeaked happily. “I was just thinking about you!”

Fatal blow. Many dead, hundreds hurt, et cetera et cetera. Kaisa looked around as if anyone was going to offer her a script or at least a couple of options of what to say in that situation. Nobody was so kind, though, so she was left scrambling for something normal to say.

“You… were?” Nailed it.

“Yes!” Johanna brushed her hands against each other, making specks of powdered sugar fall to the floor. Tontu walked away to the back of the shop mumbling about cleaning the floor and something else that Kaisa didn’t get. “We were experimenting on a new pastry, and it’s your favourite flavours. A croissant with cocoa in the batter and a tiramisu inspired filling.”

Kaisa must really be a sight to behold, standing uselessly around with a huge question mark on her forehead. Johanna simply kept staring at her with that same kindness, while Raven began looking like he was pretending to not be in the same room.

“Wait, you bake?” Realising the downright idiotic question that was, she immediately amended. “I mean, beyond cakes?”

“We do!” Johanna chirped with a flourish of her hand that, Kaisa realised, was meant to point at a glass showcase in which she had never realised there were not cakes, but many different pastries. Which also brought her attention to the fact that there were chairs and tables inside the shop, which would make no sense if it were only a place to order cake in.

She really was fucking stupid, huh.

Though truth be told, she probably deserved some credit. Everybody’s vision blurred around the edges when they were staring directly at the sun. Kaisa opted for the easy way out: awful humour.

“Damn, you can decorate, you can actually bake tasty stuff, is there anything you can’t do?”

Johanna put her hands on her hips, and deadpanned with a completely straight face.

“Simple maths.”

Kaisa had no other option than to throw her head back and laugh.

“Fair enough. I’m quite useless at it too.” She admitted, thinking about how she’d been asking Victoria for help with her taxes - resulting in her having to trust that the woman wasn’t making her commit fraud, a huge risk to take - ever since she began having to pay them. “And I don’t even have the excuse of being an artist to make up for it.”

The baker’s eyes were twinkling when she looked back at her, a smile dancing on her lips. “You’re far too kind. They’re just cakes.”

As if anyone could ever be ‘far too kind’ to her. All the goodwill one could offer this woman wouldn’t be enough. An angel like her could only ever deserve more. “They’re masterpieces. You’ll do well not to insult them like that when they can hear you, it might decrease the morale around here.”

Johanna choked back a laugh, making Kaisa marvel at how her horrendous sense of humour apparently… hit its mark with this woman, somehow. Heavens knew she must be way too clever to actually think Kaisa was funny. Some traitorous brain cell offered her the thought that Adele only laughed out of politeness and affection most times, an ‘oh, Kaisa, you’re so silly’ type of sentiment. She quickly cut that synapse short.

Unexpectedly, as soon as she stopped laughing Johanna pulled up the chair that was closest to her.

“Sit down. I’ll get you one of them to taste.”

“Oh, that’s really too kind-”

“No, I insist.” The gentle tone still somehow left no room for arguing. Kaisa had the alarming realisation that she’d do anything this woman told her to. “It was, after all, inspired by your order. Just fair that you get to approve of it.”

“Oh?” Kaisa lifted her eyebrows playfully. “And what guarantees you that I’ll approve of it?”

When Johanna passed by her on her way to the other side of the counter, they couldn’t tell who was to blame for the back of their hands brushing against each other.

“Oh, you will.”

Kaisa shouldn’t have accepted the courtesy. She shouldn’t have sat down to eat it and compliment the pastry. She shouldn’t have been so glad when Johanna sat down in front of her. She shouldn’t have spent the better part of three hours talking to the woman, then. And if she did, she shouldn’t have kept noticing how extremely kind she was, and smart, and funny, and how they played off of each other in a way that made her think they’d never run out of things to talk about. And when she got up to leave, she shouldn’t have felt tempted to hug Johanna goodbye, or to brush a stray curl away from her face.

She shouldn’t. But she did anyway.

…......

Kaisa went back to the house, after all. Not their house, not her house, not even Adeline’s house. She’d taken to thinking about it as just that, the house, a miserable thing that belonged to no one and was only there to remind her of how ungrateful she was.

But that was just Kaisa, wasn’t it? Life could be a bed of roses and she’d still find a way to complain about the thorns.

Adele had been there, gentle and sweet as ever. They’d ordered in and watched a movie, and didn’t even pretend to argue over which to pick, knowing the point wasn’t really what they were watching so much as passing the time. Come morning, they had waffles for breakfast - Adeline could moderately cook - and discussed the book they’d both just finished reading.

‘Discussed’ might not be the appropriate word, however, for the conversation that involved essentially just agreeing with each other’s opinions. It hardly lasted fifteen minutes.

Which was good. It was fine. This sort of lining up of opinions meant there would hardly ever be any major disagreements in their married life.

So why was Kaisa now organising the romance books as if the tomes had personally offended her?

Ah, well. It was because they were full of drivel, of course. Ridiculous notions about there only being one way to do love right, about something as silly as destine being more important in a relationship then effort. They were pathetic. And maybe the fact that she’d read so many of them when younger was the reason why she now felt so unsure about a perfectly fine marriage.

Which she’d asked for.

One book escaped her clutches when she’d been holding it on top of the ladder, falling down with a thump to the ground; Kaisa bit her fist to stop herself from screaming in frustration. She climbed down hastily, part of her mind figuring that falling down and breaking her neck would be an easy way out of everything, to pick up the copy of Wuthering Heights.

The book had fallen cover down on the floor, falling open with the collision. The page it was in still had the pencil underlying of an uneducated borrower on one paragraph, dragging Kaisa’s eyes to it.

“He shall never know I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made out of, his and mine are the same.”

Kaisa closed the book and shoved it in the nearest open spot, messing up the entire shelf’s organisation.

…......

The bakery’s phone number had sent Kaisa a message to let her know her order was ready to be picked up. It made her spend the entire rest of her day with a heavy heart she couldn’t explain, like this last visit was more binding than the walk down the altar would be. She was told she could arrive after leaving the library, even if it would already be after hours according to their schedule.

She almost hoped to find no one there, so she could postpone this even if just one more day. No such luck. The lights inside were dim enough that no one would mistake it for open, but bright enough to make out the shape of Johanna, sitting by herself at one of the tables with her focus on a sketchbook she was doodling on. When Kaisa rapped her knuckles on the glass door, she immediately looked up and got up with a smile to unlock the door.

The baker took her inside the kitchen, this time, which Kaisa held as an honour. Certainly she wouldn’t have been allowed into the space where all of Johanna’s passion blossomed if she hadn’t somehow proven herself trustworthy.

“You must really love what you do-” Kaisa mused out loud, not even bothering to pretend to only be there for her cake as she looked around openly at the space. “-to be this good at it.”

To her surprise, when she stopped admiring how much more of an art atelier than a kitchen the place looked and turned back to Johanna, the baker was looking at her. Or staring, more like. Her gaze was so intense that Kaisa had the impression she could physically feel it on her skin.

Which was silly, of course. But if she was helpless to do anything but step closer, well. Did anyone ever blame the planets for orbiting around the sun?

“It was a sort of therapy for me, at first.” Johanna admitted, guiding Kaisa’s gaze to a workbench that seemed to exclusively have realistic cakes which used mimicking techniques to pass for other foods and objects. “I began when I was a teenager and not in the best spot. I took to baking whenever I felt stressed.”

The woman hugged her own middle, staring down at her cakes even as Kaisa walked to her side, as if she was cold. Which Kaisa thought was insane. No one so warm should be capable of ever even feeling chilly.

“And, well, when you do something so often, you inevitably get good at it, I suppose.”

Kaisa didn’t know what to make of her forlorn voice. “You go to great lengths to avoid admitting you’re just plain great at what you do. I’ve been cooking for myself for years and I’m still a fire hazard in the kitchen. It’s not a linear logic.”

Johanna’s only reaction was a quick, forced quirk upwards of the left corner of her lip, but Kaisa couldn’t see it. She continued speaking, because anything was better than this feeling that Johanna was sad and because she knew it would be her last chance to talk to this woman. After the wedding, she wouldn’t be able to come back there. Not ever. It just wouldn't be fair. Not being able to avoid falling for someone when she was in a committed relationship was one thing. Allowing those feelings to develop was entirely another.

“It’s better than what I do when I get anxious.” She remarked. “One of these days I’m going to run out of fix-it fanfic to read.”

The way Johanna suddenly looked at her and blinked with a confused face made her fear that she was about to have to explain what fanfiction was to another adult, but then she let her eyes fall shut and laughed genuinely, and yes, that was much better, even if she was laughing at her.

Though, for some reason, Kaisa didn’t think she was.

“At least your coping mechanism doesn’t get your blood sugar levels dangerously high.”

“No, but it fucks up my sleeping schedule, so it’s kind of a pyrrhic victory, isn’t it?”

One auburn eyebrow was lifted. “What, like you can’t stop and pick it up again the next day?”

“When I’m halfway through a hundred thousand word slow burn and having to make it past the angst part of it? Absolutely not. Would you leave a cake overnight in the oven?”

Johanna chuckled and shook her head in a way Kaisa’s battered heart wanted to think of as fondly, and her spirits were immediately lifted at having cheered her up from whatever had been bothering her even if now that meant they’d have to stop talking and actually get to business. Talk about a pyrrhic victory.

Her arms were still around herself, though, which meant that when they walked further into the kitchen for her to show her the cake, Kaisa could barely spare a thought to the jaw droppingly beautiful creation. Not when Johanna was so clearly gripping into her own arms in a way that had to be bruising.

Yet the angel maintained her smile.

She showed her how it had turned out with that perfect customer service voice that Kaisa hated for how robotic it sounded, even if she reminded herself that she was just a customer. They’d agreed on the toppings not being the brides, since that was a tad too cliche for them, but rather it was a modelling chocolate model of the tree under which they’d had their first date. The buttercream was a light orange, Adeline’s favourite colour, with accents of gold leaf in flower shapes. There were other details on the cake, references to books they both enjoyed, to the university they’d gotten their Masters at, but what Kaisa couldn’t stop thinking about, when she did manage to pay attention to the cake, was the obvious care that had been put into every detail.

Kaisa swallowed down a lump in her throat. It did not go away.

When she managed to get out of her own head for long enough to realise that Johanna was probably waiting for a reaction, she opened the brightest grin she could manage - hoping it was not, in fact, a grimace - and sang her honest praises to it. She didn’t know what she’d done wrong, though. Johanna only seemed to grip her own arms tighter.

Though Kaisa offered to help, Johanna carried the cake to the counter in the cake shop on her own. Probably for the best, too, considering Kaisa’s known lack of upper body strength. There, she placed the cake inside a box that was meant for safe carrying.

Kaisa had already paid for half of the cake upfront, and now took the exact sum that had been missing from her pocket. When she lifted it up for Johanna to take, the baker shook her head.

“Don’t.” She said simply, and Kaisa frowned.

“What do you mean, ‘don’t’? Johanna, it's your payment.”

“I know.” The woman opened a smile completely at odds with the sheer sadness in her eyes. “I don’t want it. Consider it a wedding gift.”

Mouth opened to protest, Kaisa found herself at a loss for words as Johanna placed the box on her arms. If Johanna hesitates before letting her take it, then either she doesn’t notice it, or she takes it as the woman wanting to be sure she has a proper grip on her creation and isn’t going to drop it as soon as her hands go away.

Instead of a vehement denial of the gift, Kaisa found herself saying something so corny that she’d cringe whenever she thought back to this moment in the future.

“How can I repay you?”

Johanna’s voice, no matter how much she tried to hide it, was strained when she spoke.

“Be happy. Please.” She blushed when Kaisa actually let out a small gasp at how honest she sounded. “Goodbye, Kaisa.”

As the bride walked away, she couldn’t help but feel she’d be indebted for the rest of her life.

…......

She could not go through with the wedding.

Kaisa was a creature of habit. Of planning. Of sticking to an idea to the world's end once she decided on it. So it was no walk in the park for her to come to that decision.

But she did, because if a situation was dire enough that she couldn’t ignore it, then things were very bad indeed. She hadn’t been able to go back to Adeline’s house after picking the cake up. She’d gone home, cried herself into a truly apathetic state, and scourged ao3 for a nice, long, fix-it fic about star crossed lovers. The first few she clicked on annoyed her, one had no paragraph breaks and another seemed averse to using commas, but eventually she found a well written story that scratched her itch.

She supposed she’d gotten very demanding in her tastes, lately.

She’d woken up sleep deprived and miserable, naturally, which made for as good of a day at the library as you might imagine. A patron asked for a romance book recommendation. She gave them a copy of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and pretended she didn’t hear it when they mumbled that that was a tragedy and not a romance.

Weren’t all love stories?

Back at her apartment, she called her best friend even if just to listen to a voice she knew instead of the same songs on repeat.

“Victoria, you’ve been married for a long time.”

“That I have.”

“How did you know you were in love with her?”

“I started asking myself questions like ‘how do I know I’m in love with her?’”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me.”

By the third day in which she couldn’t bring herself to go back to Adeline’s, her fiancee messaged her, asking if everything was alright.

Kaisa had never been a good liar.

“I’m not sure.” She typed and strangled a sob as she started the next message. “I think I need to talk to you”

Her heart hammering on her chest, she attempted to lie on her side in her bed, facing the wall, and catch some sleep. Meaning she didn’t see it when her screen lit up with an answer.

“Me too.”

…......

The atmosphere was tense when they met up for brunch the next day. It was entirely Kaisa’s fault, though, because Adeleline was being perfectly sweet and Kaisa was just walking around like there was a rain cloud over her head.

“Alfur said that the bakery where you ordered the cake has great pastries! Why don’t we go there?

Kaisa shivered, and looked down to hide her shameful blush. “Better not. It’s too far.”

Theirs was not a conversation to be had over coffee and bagels, though, so they ate - and for a couple of minutes, it was easy and pleasant like it had been for so many years, like Kaisa had gotten her best friend back when she didn’t even know she’d lost her - and then went back to the house. Truth be told, Kaisa’s legs felt so weak as she followed her bride inside that she was proud of herself for making it without collapsing on the floor in a guilty puddle.

She hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew she hadn’t. But she still felt like she’d stabbed a loved one’s back and the loved one was smiling at her nonetheless.

They sat down on the couch, not even pretending there wasn’t an elephant in the room but rather inviting it to step closer and step on their heads, maybe. What were crushed skulls next to a broken heart? Memories of reading together, of watching movies, of talking about their days flooded their minds as they dared themselves to be the bravest they ever were.

“This is hard.” Adeline said, and Kaisa could only nod as she stared with an unfocused gaze at nowhere in specific. “What if we both say what we want to at the count of three?”

That could go terribly wrong. But Kaisa had always been helpless to humour her. So she allowed her to count down the seconds, each accompanied by a stronger beat of Kaisa’s heart, until one came and it flew out of her mouth before she could think twice.

“I can’t go through with the wedding.” They both said, exactly at the same time.

The silence that follows is nothing short of stunned. They turn to look at one another, sporting similarly wide eyes. Except Kaisa’s lips are parted in surprise and Adeline’s are beginning to shape a smile. Something like static is buzzing inside the librarian’s mind.

“Well, this might be a lot easier than I thought.” Her bride chirps. “Why don’t we tackle the ‘whys’ this time?”

Kaisa nodded dumbly, feeling like at any moment people with cameras and microphones would jump from behind the furniture and announce that it was all a prank.

No one did.

And when the countdown was done, they braced themselves for this time dissonant admissions.

“I fell for someone else.” Kaisa said with her eyes shut tight as Adeline breathed out “I’m aromantic.”

When they looked at each other then, Kaisa looked even more floored, and instead of smiling Adeline began to openly laugh, filing the living room with the joyful sound.

“What the fuck?” Kaisa exclaimed, gaping. And then her brain began trying to process the information, and the other woman’s laughter began getting to her and she repeated, this time with mirth and a confused grin. “What the fuck?”

“I'm sorry!” Adeline had to make an effort to stop cackling at their honestly ridiculous predicament, moisture gathering at her eyes for all the right reasons. “I only realised it recently. I mean, I’ve always known, but I think I was avoiding it. And lately I’ve had reasons to try to understand my feelings better. I don’t think I’ll ever feel romantic attraction towards someone. But I’ve come to realise that that’s different from queerplatonic attraction. Which… I do feel for someone.”

Kaisa nodded, listening intently and doing her best to showcase it though her body language as well.

“And I also noticed that that’s slightly different from friendly love. Which is how I feel about you.” Adeline took her hands; they had always been warm and delicate. Now they felt a little bit sweaty, and it made Kaisa relieved to know she wasn’t the only one suffering with nerves. “I know there are aromantic people who marry their friends, or their platonic partners. Whatever form of love brings people together is more than valid, I’d say. But I know it’s not what you signed up for. I know you’re a hopeless romantic, even if you try to deny it. And sure, we work well together because we respect and like each other so much. But I’ll give you honesty, Kaisa, because I care about you and I feel like we’ve been lacking on that front. I don’t think I want to marry you.”

They breathe for a moment, and it’s the most free they’ve felt since they could remember.

“I am so happy for you, Adele.” She’s still a bit stunned, but it’s beginning to make sense. A lot of moments from the course of their relationship were, to be honest. She had gotten the feeling that Adeline had been containing something, that she’d been forcing herself to go along with a plan she didn’t want, but she’d always brushed it away as being her own paranoia about being unlovable. How could Kaisa not be happy? This was her best friend, and she was finally out of her cage. “This must have taken a lot of introspection and certainly a lot of courage. Thank you for telling me. Both for trusting me with this information and for being so honest about it.”

Adeline squeezed her hands. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t trust you with, Kaisa. You’re still the person who I’d have agreed to spend my life with. Being aromantic doesn’t change that.”

She squeezed her hands in return, trying to convey all her feelings of fondness and gratefulness at the same time. It all made sense, then. They weren’t the sun and the moon; there was only one sun in Kaisa’s life and she had made her peace with it at last. Adeline was, truth be told, too sweet to be something as blinding as the sun.

It had been right in front of her the entire time: Adele was the earth. Calming and steady, the only one among them all that could actually hold life. Adeline was safe. She’d always been Kaisa’s anchor, and something told her she’d remain so even after this entire ordeal. She kept Kaisa in orbit with her gentleness, her encouragement, and now, with her bravery.

Kaisa could cry. She must be a weird sight, looking at her (former?) bride with so much open adoration when they’d just admitted to not want each other in that way. Adeline scrunched up her nose in a way that told her she was about to be silly.

“So…” She drawled. “Who’s your girl?”

Kaisa scoffed. “I thought you were my girl”

Adeline laughs again, and how come Kaisa hadn’t realised she’d been doing that so rarely lately? “Come on, Kai. I’m not the one who fell in love with someone else.”

“I know, I know, I’m just… relieved. I thought I was going to lose you.”

With a gentle smile and without letting go of her hands, Adeline bumped their knees together. “You’re never going to lose me, Kaisa. I may not be in love with you, but I do love you. Very much. You’re so special to me and I’m so glad we had the self awareness to talk about this before we could go through with the wedding and it actually got in our way.”

A weight dropped from Kaisa’s heart, as if gravity had been abolished and she was finally free to float. The moon could never lose the earth. But she couldn’t deny that her glow came from the sun, either.

Kaisa swallowed, unable to resist the urge to look away as she blushed with the admission. “The baker. Who I fell for, I mean. But I promise we never-” She rushed to defend herself, even if she didn’t know what from. “I wouldn’t-”

Adeline squeezed her hands again, knowing that would ground her, a perfect gravitational center. “I know, Kaisa. I trust you.”

It was all Kaisa could do not to let herself slide down from the couch all the way down to the floor in sheer relief. Not even in her best dreams could she have imagined that conversation having gone so well. And then her brain picked up on something else from Adeline’s speech.

“You… said you have a crush on someone? A queerplatonic one?”

It filled the librarian with a sadistic sort of glee to see Adeline being the one who turned a shade of beet red this time. She loved it when she wasn’t the one on the spot.

Adeline nodded. “Our wedding planner.” She admitted shyly, making Kaisa lean back on the couch and laugh.

“Alfur? Damn, Adele, at least I didn’t fall for a guy!”

Giving her a playful shove, her (definitely former) bride grinned. “Are you a biphobe, now?”

“Will it make telling everyone we’re calling off the wedding easier if I let you think so?”

Somehow, such a heavy topic didn’t feel like a minefield anymore. It felt like when they were younger and did stupid things just to see if they could get away with it, like writing utter nonsense on their essays to find out if the professor even really read them. It felt like they’d laugh about it, not only in the future, but as soon as each new remark came. It felt easy. It felt like friendship. Adeline giggled again, rolling her eyes fondly.

“Can’t believe you had the gall to suggest we have brunch somewhere just because Alfur recommended, just to then throw around the news that you have a crush on him.”

The archivist gasped and looked at her with completely feigned hurt. “And you had the gall to deny me my pastries because you’re in love with the baker!”

“That’s fair. Guess we really were made for each other. Platonically.” Kaisa smiled softly, already planning on bringing a selection of Johanna’s pastries for Adeline to try as soon as everything was cleared up.

“Does that mean I get my best friend post back?”

“Obviously.”

She punched the air in victory. Whatever the opposite of a pyrrhic one was, this time. Kaisa didn’t think there had ever been a win-win situation in the universe that had been so perfectly aligned. “I’m going to rub it in Victoria's face that she’s been demoted again.”

Kaisa laughed again, allowing a pleasant feeling to unfurl completely on her chest and make her feel giddy with it. They were going to be fine. They were all going to be fine.

“I really do love you, Adele”

“And I, you, Kaisa.” She says as brightly as she grins. “And I’m not ever going to marry you.”

…......

A few days later, Kaisa used her lunch break to take the walk from the library straight to the park in front of Johanna’s bakery.

She thought about going inside, but what the hell was she going to say? Show up during her work hours and say “my wedding was ruined before it even began and it’s all your fault, thank you so much”? That didn’t sound like a normal thing that normal people did - not that she’d know much about that - so she let herself fall to one of the dark green benches, the paint peeling at some places and making bubbles in others.

It was a nice day. Couple of clouds, just enough for the sun to not be hitting her directly. Even the birds were singing nicely. It felt like the perfect set up to go reenact a Hallmark movie, but she knew she was procrastinating. What was the hurry, though? She wasn’t on a timeline anymore. There was no special date looming in her future in which her entire life would change. She was, in fact, back to square one. Back to wondering ‘could anyone ever love me?’ and ‘am I even capable of maintaining a relationship?’

She supposed she’d have her entire life to answer these questions, now.

But before that, she had to make this stop.

Honesty had gotten her this far, after all.

Not that she was making any progress on that front. The relief from knowing she wouldn't have to force herself to do anything combined with her typical fear of failure came together to make a very potent tranquilliser, apparently. She sprawled herself on the bench, resting her head against the back of it, and allowed the rays of the sun to warm her, eyes closed and mind wandering.

When suddenly she felt the heat cease, and light was no longer making it past her eyelids, she opened her eyes to see what the matter was. She’d been expecting a cloud. Her heart began hammering in her chest when what she saw was a different sun.

“Kaisa? Is everything okay?” Johanna asked with her hands twisting in front of herself. That made sense, Kaisa thought. She should have prepared herself for that. She must be quite the image, thrown on some bench in front of Johanna’s workplace. Of course the dear woman would come check in on her.

“Yeah, thank you.” And then, because she quite literally had nothing to lose, she added. “My wedding was called off.”

Johanna blinked, looking around as if she expected to find some explanation to what she’d just been told. Kaisa managed a tired smile, lifting her left hand for her to see for herself that there was no longer a rose gold band in it.

“Oh.” She breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Kaisa said, shrugging. “She's my best friend. We aren’t fit to be anything else. We’re both glad to have decided to abandon ship.”

The cogs in the artist’s mind seemed to be working, and she frowned, something undecipherable flashing in her eyes. “So you’re… happy?”

“I guess I am. Happy to have called it off, sure. Happy to be back at my old apartment. Happy I won’t be getting a hundred new names worth of extended family to memorise.”

Johanna failed to hold back a snort.

“I could be happier, though, I suppose.” Kaisa said with all the recklessness of someone who had just found out that sometimes, when you asked for things, you got them. Who could ever have imagined? “There’s a reason I noticed I couldn’t go through with it, after all.”

She’d never allowed herself to appreciate how beautiful Johanna was. She’d noticed it, of course, much against her will, but she had cut those thoughts short before they could become something to feel guilty about. She didn’t need to anymore. She could let herself be fascinated by how her hair curled perfectly, by the couple of freckles dotting her skin, by her strong looking hands and the rosy bottom lip being bitten down on in her confusion.

“Oh?” She breathed, sounding like she didn’t know what else to do. Kaisa sent a prayer to any deity that could hear and sat up straighter.

“At the risk of making a complete ass of myself, would you like to pop over mine for tea someday? I’ve got this delicious cake by an amazing cake artist just waiting there, and it’s far too big for me to eat on my own.”

The birds sounded awfully loud during the silence between the invitation and her answer. It was the first time Kaisa reached for something she really wanted, telling herself that it wouldn’t matter that she’d lose it eventually, not if the other option was never having it at all. She had no idea if she’d ever manage to strike Johanna’s interest. Much less if she’d manage to keep it, should she be allowed the chance. But if she were, then she had no doubt it would be the most awe inspiring eclipse of her life.

Johanna shifts her weight between her feet. It doesn’t look like she’s going to say no, but judging by her face Kaisa doesn’t really fancy her chances either.

“I have no idea what kind of person you are.” She stated, not at all accusingly. Kaisa shrugged.

“Naturally.”

“But kids are good judges of character.” Kaisa lifts her eyebrow in askance. “And I trust mine. Hilda’s inside the shop. Would you come in and meet her?”

Suddenly feeling that reckless sort of bravery be replaced by giddiness, Kaisa stood up so quickly she was afraid she was going to faint for a second. “May I?”

Johanna nodded, face scrunched up as she attempted not to smile. Kaisa made no such effort.

“If I pass her judgement, will you go out with me?”

With an exhale, Johanna glanced at Kaisa’s hand, debating whether it would be weird to hold it.

“I’m not a very smart person, Kaisa.” There was no time for her to protest against that ridiculous lie before Johanna shook her ground. “I think I’m going out with you either way.”

Johanna was the sun. Kaisa knew that, because she was the moon, and who could ever be a better judge of that than her? But anyone who happened to be passing by them could easily switch them up. Few things had ever shone as strongly as the smile on Kaisa's face.

#... if you got to the end of this plz read my end notes on ao3 #it's too much to put in the tags but I think theyre amusing sjkdksdf #essentially though: this verse's Kaisa song is High Infidelity. Johanna's is Speak Now. Adeline is onto some ivy shenanigans #but evolves to ME! before either of the other idiots #theyre all living in their own Taylor Swift song and not talking about it KJSDFKJFD #sketchbookweek #my fic #fic: ffte #sketchbook ship #sketchbook ship hilda

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