#IM SORRY I had to make some edits after I left out some details that were really really bugging me lol :(
Note
Wow I just read your recent story and it's so good! 🤩
If it's okay, can I also request something? 😗👉👈 if your requests are now closed, just disregard this.
But basically, I just wanted to know your take on Ominis and MC's first ever fight. Maybe while they're still Hogwarts students or as a married couple, and why they fought in the first place. Maybe jealously? Or Ominis' family trying to arrange his marriage? Idk, it's your call! 🥰 thank you so much!
Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing it. I had such a great weekend filled with answering really fun asks and fic requests, I’m really happy you decided to send this. :)
OOH THE DRAMA~ I’ve thought about this quite a bit. For Isabel and Ominis in particular, they had their tiffs in school when they were both dumb teenagers, but never anything truly major. Their first true fight was shortly after they were married. I’m glad I finally got an ask that pushed me to stop putting this off.
I’m still hesitant to use Isabel’s name in stories, I know it can be understandably off-putting to read someone else’s MC name in a ship-based story like this, so I’m continuing the tradition of using “MC.” :)
In the Name of Love
AO3 Link
MC learns about a deal Ominis struck to keep the Gaunts from finding them again
Ominis x fem!MC
SFW
MC and Ominis have an argument, that's it that's the post lol. Mention of Crucio being used and its effects.
Word count: 2,131
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
MC and Ominis had spent the past few days in a haze of perfect happiness in their new home. Each morning, they awoke next to one another and wondered if it was a dream. Sleepy, affectionate touches turned to blissful lovemaking, and the pair would eventually leave their cozy nest for a late breakfast before spending the rest of the day at each other’s side. When evening came, they would find themselves back in bed, curled up in the safety and comfort of each other’s arms.
The real world was gradually creeping back into their lives, however, and they knew they could not spend every day thinking only of each other forever; the world would not stop for two newlywed lovers mere days into their marriage.
It had been a warm, sunny June day when the two had finished a particularly late breakfast. A sleek owl darted in through an open window and, with a perfunctory flap, dropped a letter on the coffee table where the pair were happily chatting over post-breakfast tea in the drawing room. The owl perched on the edge of the table and looked expectantly between the envelope, MC and Ominis. Confused, MC tried to shoo it off, but it snapped at her and looked down again at the letter.
“It seems the sender didn’t want you to ignore their letter,” Ominis commented nonchalantly. “It must be quite important if their owl wants to confirm you’ve read it.”
“Surly little beast.” MC glared at the owl as she leaned forward to take the letter, and the owl ruffled its feathers as it glared back. MC turned the envelope over and stopped.
“It’s a Ministry of Magic seal... What could they possibly want from us?” MC muttered while opening the envelope and pulling out two pieces of paper. Beside her, Ominis froze.
“Dear Ominis and MC,” she began aloud, “per our verbal agreement on the sixth of June, 1895, your protection has begun immediately. Henceforth, please expect owls at any time of day or night, as your responsibilities are of the utmost importance and urgency. We understand, per our conversation, that you will be conducting your own business during daylight hours. While we make every effort to accommodate, we cannot guarantee a total lack of conflicts. Any failure to respond appropriately to official Ministry requests will result in immediate termination of your protection. Attached, please find details on your first assignment. For every assignment, Ministry officers will be awaiting you at the prescribed location and time to assist in answering questions and providing further instruction. We look forward to a mutually beneficial working relationship. Kindly destroy this letter upon receipt. Regards, Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”
MC barely noticed the owl make an inconvenienced screech before it flapped out the open window. She frowned in confusion. “Protection? And why was this supposed agreement the day before our wedding? Unless…”
MC turned to look at Ominis with a deeply worried expression. He had somehow turned even paler than normal. “Ominis… what happened that night?”
“Do you not remember?” Ominis replied faintly.
“It was awful… I remember the both of us being kidnapped by your family,” MC replied, her voice growing quiet. Reflexively, she moved closer to Ominis’ comforting presence as she struggled to recall the flashes of still images her mind had not blocked from that night. “I remember your mother threatening me, and then… that must have been when you said she cursed me. I don’t remember anything more... Ominis, what happened?” She asked again, more desperate.
Ominis hung his head and turned away. His icy blue eyes were even more distant than usual. His next words were almost stammered as he nervously recounted that night. “I thought you knew... Your screams—Merlin, I have never heard a worse sound in my life. I knew the pain you were feeling, and I could not bear to stand by and let it happen a second time. I did the only thing I could think to do: I took you and ran. I made it to the Ministry—floo powder, I believe; some details are difficult for even me to remember... I talked to the first auror I found and told her what had happened. She agreed to help until she learned who was hunting us. She suddenly grew quiet and refused to help. She even dared to say there was no substantive proof you were the victim of an unforgivable curse. Eventually I found myself in the office of a higher-up of sorts—Merlin, I never even got his name. He had heard of you and the fact you saved Hogwarts with your ancient magic abilities and was interested. I hated that he thought only of your ancient magic. I convinced him to protect us from my family, but he demanded we return the favor and help the Ministry with whatever tasks the aurors are too overwhelmed to address.”
MC stared into space, a small frown on her face as she processed the torrent of words from her husband. Finally, she looked up at him.
"I... why? And why did you not ask me about this?" she asked, the pain and confusion abundant in her voice.
Ominis took a deep, shaky breath. "My family may not be wealthy anymore, but they are still well-connected—a few of them are likely somewhere in the Ministry. If word got out that the Ministry was actively meddling in Gaunt family affairs, well, I can only imagine how that confrontation would go…" Ominis searched for her hand resting on the couch next to him and held it in both of his hands. "And anyway, you were completely unresponsive. I tried to ask you how you were feeling, but you didn't say anything. The medics at the Ministry told me you were pale as a ghost.”
Ominis paused and drew another uneven breath, apparently collecting himself. “You were in shock, darling. Anyone would be after a Cruciatus curse. But I apologize. I should have reminded you what happened there at the Ministry office.”
MC's voice slowly rose. "You used my ancient magic as a bargaining chip? How are you any better than that Ministry officer? And now we owe the Ministry a large debt—and it sounds as if it was not the most legitimate agreement, either. Whether you had told me the day after or next week, the fact of the matter is that I was not part of a decision that has dramatically changed both our lives.”
MC shifted, and Ominis felt an infinitesimal attempt to slip her hand from his grasp. His heart faltered for half a moment.
"It was the only thing I could think of. I don't want you to ever have to go through something like that in the future. I cannot bear the thought of ever hearing you under that curse again." Ominis’ voice quieted, but it had little effect.
MC huffed and stood up, leaving Ominis’ hands empty on the couch. "Could it not have waited until I could at least give my consent? I have to face the consequences of your decision too, you know. We could have come up with a solution together—we could have discussed it as a couple."
"Then what do you propose we do to keep my family away from you—from us both? And what about our future children?" Ominis glared, hurt. "What could just the two of us do against the entire House of Gaunt, who are now enraged that an outsider would dare marry their defiant son?"
"That very ancient magic you gambled has gotten us out of countless situations," MC snapped.
"You don't understand their power, MC," Ominis protested sharply. "We have fought poachers, backwoods dark wizards and a small, disorganized goblin army in the safety of Hogwarts Valley. The power of my family, however undeserved, has been honed as long as Hogwarts has existed. I couldn't risk another minute of them following us and finding you. I had to make a decision for us both. Between more criminals and my family, the Ministry's offer seemed the lesser of two evils.”
MC gave a sharp, exasperated sigh and paced the room. "I can fend for myself, Ominis. We don't know how they would have fared against my abilities."
"And I hope we never find out," Ominis nearly shouted. "Have you forgotten that you were kidnapped by Rookwood shortly after starting school? What about your close brush with death fending off Ranrok? Professor Fig died protecting you.”
Just as quickly as Ominis felt his temper flare, it cooled again and his voice grew gentler. “MC, you are incredibly powerful, and I am constantly in awe of your abilities, but you do not understand the Gaunts' ability to hurt and kill. The fact that my mother alone caught you off guard does not bode well."
Ominis knew the silence that followed was anything but good. He slowly opened his mouth, but MC spoke before he could ask about what she was thinking.
"This is the same quarrel we had countless times in school—it mattered not if I went out puffskein-catching or saved Hogwarts; you argued I was getting into too much trouble and guarded me like a mother hen. Why do you insist on being overprotective and making these decisions for me?"
"Because I love you," Ominis blurted, his voice defeated. His brows knit together and tears welled in his eyes. MC stopped and stared at him.
“I love you so dearly,” Ominis continued, “and I won't stand by and let you endanger your very life for people like my family. I could never live with myself if I risked your safety by allowing them near you again."
With a sigh, Ominis stood and gently picked up his wand. He walked to the door and stopped before turning back towards MC, who remained inscrutably still and silent. "You are the strongest person I have ever met. You are fearless and protective, and I have always admired your bravery. That is precisely why I feel the need to defend you in return. I cannot simply let you die or be hurt needlessly if I can help it—and certainly not by my own family. I don't know what I would do if I lost your laughter or your loving embrace. Waking up to a half-empty bed every morning would break me. I need you.”
The soft, mournful smile that spread across Ominis’ face reminded MC of the same smile he often wore in school when they first met. “I’m sorry I made such an overwhelming decision without you, and I understand why you are upset about it. I’m sorry I did not tell you sooner. I won’t tell you how to feel. I only ask that you hear me when I tell you why I did it: I cannot risk losing the love of my life."
Ominis had nearly crossed the threshold when MC called out to him.
"Ominis, wait," she said gently. "Come here."
Ominis turned and hesitantly moved towards her. She took his free hand in hers and sat down, guiding him to sit beside her.
"Thank you," she murmured with a sigh. "I am still not pleased about this situation, but I am grateful to know that this is the reason why we are in it. And... I am very thankful you care so much for me. I shouldn't take your love for granted. For that, I am sorry."
"I care for you more than I could ever describe," Ominis replied, voice breaking as he tried to smile. "My family is not worth any risk to your life. I do mean it when I say I need you; I need your happiness. Even if you were to reject me and run off with someone else, I could at least take solace in knowing you were happy. But if you were to die, I would have nothing."
Ominis sniffled quietly and stroked MC's hands with his thumb. She looked between their hands and his downward-cast face and withdrew her hands. When Ominis' face turned upwards in question, she drew him into a tight embrace.
"Thank you," she whispered. Ominis slowly wrapped his arms around her in return and sighed deeply before tenderly kissing the side of her head.
"I'm your husband. You willingly chose me, but you don't deserve what my family did to you that night. I'll always protect you to my dying breath. I love you."
"I love you too.” MC’s voice wavered when Ominis gently squeezed her, and he smiled when he felt her try to clandestinely wipe away a tear.
“We will make this work. I believe someone close to me once said that whatever lies ahead, we must face it together."
"I couldn't agree more," Ominis smiled.
#hogwarts legacy#ominis gaunt#ominis gaunt x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#requests#...damn it I did not think about the title until after I hit post. Now im gonna have the Supremes song stuck in my head >:(#IM SORRY I had to make some edits after I left out some details that were really really bugging me lol :(#Isabel Greymoore
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Heya!! CM! (Get it your user!)
Its 🍓 again :3
Would you be able to write imagine/hc thingys how they would react to seeing your human form for the first time when you go to the human world with them! Im thinking along the flustered fluff/ possibility suggestive thoughts about mc =^=
Any of the brothers/dateables u want! But if your looking for specific just mammon & levi as personal preference :3
(AFAB preferred but No description of gender js cool too :3 )
Aghhh sorry this is worded so weird I’m not the best leaving suggestions i feel too askyy ;^;
Your writing is lovely and i can’t wait to see more!!
- 🍓
Hello again -🍓! Love the ‘CM’ nickname! And by all means, ask whatever you want and however much you want! I’ll always make the time to write any requests~
Also sorry for taking so long; I really wasn’t too sure how to write this, and I’m sorry but I kinda tweaked it and lil bit.. ^^’ I was going to make everyone but I ended up only doing Mammon cuz I thought it would’ve been a very long post. BUT! I can most definitely make separate posts for each of the brothers if that’s something you and others want!
A and as always, if it sucks just lemme know! Constructive criticism is always welcome >;)
Cotton Surprise
Obey me! Mammon x Sheep!MC
Genre: Fluff, crack/shenanigans, slightly suggestive
What’s it about?: Seeing your human form for the first time!
Not that many but They/them pronounce; mainly AFAB
A throwback to Lesson 19 from the original game but tweaked it as well
Edit: ((There were minor changes cuz someone made a comment that pointed out to me how maybe some people didn’t understand what I was telling. Totally my fault ^^’🙏))
None of them ever understood why you turned into a sheep. It happened as soon as you first arrived to Devildom. But the more time they spent with you, they got used to it — some even forgetting you’re a human all together.
One day, most of the Brothers were sitting together in the living room. It was mostly quiet until Asmo brought the question: “Hey, What do you guys think MC looks like if they weren’t a sheep?”
It left them a bit dumbfounded that they hadn’t even thought about it. They got so used to you being a sheep so it kinda just slipped their mind. It also got them to start bickering a ton of what they thought you’d look like.
— “What’s with all the commotion?” A voice interrupts their conversation. Lucifer walks in with you in his hand, talk about perfect timing!
— “We were just talking about what MC looks like if they were in their human form.” Beel explains.
— “Oh right.. none of you have seen them.” Lucifer remarked, chuckling softly under his breath.
— “What does that mean?” Satan says with already irritation in his voice.
— “Well, it’s only right that I know what MC looks like. I was the one who picked them, after all.”
This got many of them heated! Jealous that Lucifer was pretty much the only one that knows. Mammon, Levi and Asmo were whining about how that’s not fair, Satan was gritting his teeth, and Beel along with Belphie just sat quietly watching the scene. They quieted down once you said, “I could just describe what I look like, y’know.”
All of them gathered around like a bunch of kindergartners getting ready to listen to a story book. They payed such close attention to every detail you said and tried to visualize it in their head to the best of their ability. It only made them even more eager to see you for themselves.
And it didn’t happen until the very last moments before you had to go back to the human realm..
… With a true loves kiss! >;D
Cliché, I know. - -’
Mammon
After dipping the House of Lamentation, he ends up in who knows where but more importantly, away from Levi. After he was done huffing for air, both of you start laughing from the absolute fun of stupidity you guys had. You couldn’t help but think about how odd it must’ve look from someone else’s perspective.
You two eventually eased off and took the time to catch your breaths. And then realize the beautiful view you guys have of Devildom. He sits you down gently on the thick stone fences while he rests his body on it. There was a short, soothing silence between the both of you — a soft, cool breeze blowing while you watching the city lights together. Mammon eventually brakes the silence and says,
“Y’know what? It’s always fun whenever you’re around.. I’m always smilin’ and laughin’ when we’re together. There’s never a dull moment..” he says softly; when you look up at him, he’s not looking at you but can tell he has a blush decorating his cheeks.
You smile at him warmly, before looking down at your tiny trotters. You were a sheep till the very end.. you had fun, but you can’t help but get a little sad thinking about it. Like just now, you would’ve been able to run away with him instead of being carried like a pillow.
“W-Who needs the human world, eh? You don’t gotta go back! I want you right here in Devildom, I want you here with me, all the time..!” Mammon looked straight at you, you perked up at him once he said that. He looked at you as if you were the greatest treasure he’s ever had. He wasn’t kidding around, such an unusually serious and determined face…, you felt butterflies in your stomach.
There was a silence again, you looked at him with in awe eyes. He slowly leans in, you leaning slightly forward.. letting whatever was going to happen, happen. Until finally, his lips reached you.
☁︎ —Poof— ☁︎
Light clouds suddenly surrounds you, Mammon was completely taken aback; and then he just freezes. When the clouds disperse, it revealed you.
You felt.. different. Blinked a couple of times before you looked down again. And to you completely surprise, the troopers you looked at but merely a few seconds ago were replaced with hands! You touched your face, your hair, your legs.. they were all back! You give a yell for joy, your curse has been broken! But then you also realize how you didn’t have any clothes on… you looked at mammon — who had his face completely red and eyes glued on you, completely frozen in place. Which made you freeze for a moment.
(Him)→ ╭( ⸝⸝๐_๐)╮ (○□○) ←(you)
— “AAAAAAAHHH!!!”
— “AAAAAAAHHH!!!”
You tried to cover yourself to the best of your ability; but first of all, you can’t really cover much. Second, he already saw everything! Both of you were very flustered, embarrassed, and still shocked by what just happened. You weren’t a sheep anymore! What’s up with that?!
Thankfully, Mammon at some point finally snaps out of it and covers you with his uniform’s blazer. You grip onto it tightly and covering yourself to the best of you ability. You mutter him a ‘Thank you’ under your breath. But both of you were still quite frantic, looking at each other with wide eyes while huffing to calm you nerves.
“Aha! …Found you!” A voice suddenly says from a short distance. It was Levi!
“Oh shit..”
“Mammon, Give me back my moneeey!!”
“Yikes! Time to go!” He says, lifting you up into his arms and making a run for it. And man did he run! He probably ran faster than when he was being chased by Lucifer. Levi didn’t see it coming’.
You were in a daze, you’ve been carried by him countless times.. but today you felt like a princess that’s been swooped by Prince Charming — a very peculiar one, but still charming.
He — at some point — stops running and hid in whatever corner he thought was good enough so that Levi wouldn’t find you two. With his back to the wall, he collapses to the ground. With you still in his arms but making sure you didn’t fall. You can’t help but laugh and pull him into a tight hug.
Mammon felt like his face was going to explode any second now, he just couldn’t believe that he was holding the actual you — and naked at that! But whatever was going through his head completely perished once he heard your lovely laugh. You were so happy.. embracing him with all your new found excitement. It felt like it was only the two of you in the whole word, so nothing else mattered.
“You broke my curse, Mammon!” You say. When I say this guy’s ego got inflated, I mean it. He felt like nothing could stop him now. That’s right! The great Mammon just did that! No one else!
He takes a closer look at you face; he always kept in mind all of the details you said that day, but you looked way better than what he had imagined. He couldn’t believe his eyes…
You suddenly pull him in and give him a passionate kiss; and oof, was he over the moon! After that one, he starts feeling greedy. Just one kiss isn’t enough..!
—☁︎
Later on, he bought you a few clothes since, of course, you didn’t have any. And decide to go back home.
When he went back to the House of Lamentation, he wanted nothing more than to just sneak in without his brothers knowing. But much to his dismay, Levi was already waiting for him at the gates. And when he realizes that the person he’s holding is you, he goes hysterical and now the rest of his brothers know..
“Oi, that’s enough! Step aside! Can’t ya see MC needs to get to their room??”
He’s always looked out for you.. from beginning to end. You felt like you were falling in love with him all over again. It was hard to believe that life here was coming to an end.. You want to make the most of it before having to go back home. But at the moment, you just wanted time to stay still, just for a moment..
End
I had a lot of fun writing this! So tysm for requesting it -🍓. Tho again, I’m sorry for not really completing what you asked for.. I still hope I was able to put a smile on your face! Take care~
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me requests#obey me fluff#obey me shenanigans#obey me crack#obey me x mc#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#obey me mammon x reader#obey me mammon x mc
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what if ej x gn blind reader??😏
Anon your brain is so huge.... Im basically writing fanfic here but AAAAAAA
(Edit: Oh my god I noticed the smirking emoji way too late yall please be specific with wanting NSFW or SFW I was well Into fluff territory before I realized and I still can't tell what anon means, but SFW and NSFW under the cut)
Thank you for the request!!
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◇EJ x GN! Blind Reader◇
• So EJ CAN see but his vision is more akin to like...cat night vision. Only sees in shades of gray.
• Basically the man is colorblind.
• He takes advantage of it and only hunts in the night, scouting out houses for possible victima to soothe his demonic hunger or or contract kills for The Operator.
• So when he's creeping around a what he thinks is an abandoned house and sees you walking around in the dark, his heart stops.
• Naturally, being blind has led to your other senses improving over time and you're barely able to hear a creak that DEFINATELY wasn't you.
• You grab the kitchen knife and reach for your phone in your pocket just in case you need to dial a neighbor or the cops.
• You hadn't turned around yet so EJ didnt notice you were blind, he tried silently moving towards you to knock you out when-
• "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER I CAN HEAR YOU!" You swung around with the knife in your hand. EJ saw your closed eyes and realized his mistake.
• "Hey hey Im sorry. Im not gonna hurt you. Ill get out right now." He pretty much bolted out the window leaving you confused.
• You DID call someone over to check and yeah...he left.
• Weeks later you found a note in braille at your door apologizing for the incident, you were shocked at the amount of effort this intruder was taking to amend his actions, he also explained that he'd been completely blind before and understood how terrifying it must have been.
• You don't know what possessed you but you wrote back and left your letter in the same place you found his. Thus started a pattern of you both writing back and forth.
• Eventually you both came to care alot for each other, you found out he was a part of a sort of task force and had killed before, but he wanted to "Spare you the gory details" so you didn't find out more for a while.
• He started helping you in small ways, fetching you groceries, running small errands since it was a hassle to get around with your condition, you aporefuated the kindess that was rare from other people. And slowly started falling for him, and maybe it was the way he wrote, soft yet deep voice or his constant compliments but it felt like he was falling for you too.
• Even though you couldn't see him, you wanted to meet him again in person (without the breaking and entering) and tell him how you felt. And so you did.
• He agreed but something was off even as you both laughed in the kitchen while baking, his hands..no his skin was ice cold. And even if he was talking and laughing with you he seemed unusually nervous, you could hear the tapping off his foot.
• When yoy asked him if somethibg was wrong he couldn't take it anymore and broke. He told you about his past and qhen he was turned in college, the ritual that put a demon inside of him and how he had no choice but to break into morgues and scout for the "morallly corrupt" so the demon had a source of food, it had turned him into a cannibal.
• At first you thought he was making fun of you and that it was some kind of joke, but before you could get mad his chilled hands took yours.
• "Do you trust me? Ill show you... I promise im not lying"
•You dont know what made you say yes but you did. He took your hands and put them on his face so you could feel his features which were definately human..and after you were done his face started to morph, skin splitting and his jaw unhinging to reveal what felt like razor-sharp teeth.
• His mouth closed as soon as it opened. He tried pulling away and running but you didn't want him to this time.
SFW:
• As said above Jack loves providing acts of service for you. Groceries? Cooking? Cleaning? call him your malewife because he's doing ALL of it.
• Of course he doesn't treat you like some helpless child and respects when you qant to do things yourself but still always offers just in case.
• After you both properly get together and you know his past hes noticibly more physically affectionate while making sure not to startle or scare you with sudden touches.
• Takes EXTRA precaution to make sure youre out of The Operator's radar since youre at a bit of a disadvantage (a tad overprotective)
• kisses you on your eyelids (kicking my legs and screaming)
NSFW:
• Regardless of who he's with he's a soft dom (Im tired of yall slandering my man's name HES A SWEET BOY.)
•Jack is so gentle. Mainly because he's terrified of doing something wrong.
•He's a big boy at 6'5 so a good chance hes taller than you, and hes somewhat muscular too so he's aware theres a huge imbalance in your relationship and checks in on you every once in a while to make sure youre okay with him doing anything.
• He has 3 tongues.....need I say more?
•Goes down on you VERY often, somwtimes gets a bit carried away and overstimulates you
•Even if you can't see him he ALWAYS ALWAYS compliments how pretty/handsome you look during sex.
• Sensory deprivation but just....always.
• Despite being majorly soft that doesn't mean hes not an absolute tease in bed. 100% makes you beg. And definately takes advantage of tue fact that you cant see what he's gonna do next.(Will feel guilty if you accuse him of bullying you for being blind)
#Creepypasta x reader#eyeless jack headcanon#eyeless jack x reader#pinetrees-in-water:eyeless jack x gn reader#pinetrees-in-water:eyeless jack nsft#creepypasta#Yall this was my first time writing an X reader in a long time so forgive me if it's a little off sounding!!!#eyeless jack
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Always Been Her (Rooster x Reader)
Rooster x Reader
Summary: In which, Bradley left you hurting more than ever, along with your best friend, Phoenix.
Word Count: 4k
TW: ANGST, heartbreak, cheating, Phoenix being the bad guy (IM SORRY I LOVE HER SM), Jake being the best best friend, this is literally just self-projection, based off of a true story! unedited work because since when do I ever edit my work
A/N: Hi! Sorry this one took me a little while, I've been absolutely exhausted lately and it's only going to get worse lol. Anyways, this is literally based off of my life, just altered a little bit to fit the characters and everything, so yeah that's fun. So that's enough from me, enjoy the angst lol.
I am working on getting requests done so if you sent one in, I promise I saw it and I they are a WIP I just need a little time to get them done!
You had never hurt like this before. You didn’t know how it could happen to you, not after everything you guys had been through. How could someone who promised that he would never hurt you, basically rip your heart out and stomp on it a thousand times over.
You weren’t sure what hurt more, the fact that he did it to you, or the fact that your best friend also betrayed you, and hurt you too. Phoenix was everything to you, she had always been there for you and then some, as you were for her, but she turned around and was the accomplice to the crime on your heart.
The feeling of betrayal, hurt, anger, emptiness, everything had washed over your body constantly, like you couldn’t come up for a breath of fresh air in ages. It was a constant state of pain all over your mind, body and soul, and you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You had sworn to yourself after your last relationship, you would never give anyone the power to hurt you like that again. And you didn’t this time, no, you did so much worse. You gave them more. You allowed Bradley to come into your life, burrow into your heart, make himself comfortable and like he belonged there. You were convinced that he was the one, the one you were going to marry. You remember laying on your stomach, kicking your feet up in the air while writing letters to him when he was on deployment, talking about the future for you guys, writing down every dream and detail you could think of, because he was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Until he decided that you weren’t enough for him anymore, but Phoenix was.
While you were at home, writing him letters, he was out in the world on deployment, sharing his every waking moment with the one girl he told you not to worry about.
You knew about the past the two aviators had, they had a small fling but Phoenix had shot Bradley down more times than he could count, so he said he was over it and settled for friends. So much for that.
There was always a nagging feeling in the back of your mind about the two of them, but you wracked it up to the fact that you were just over thinking. Phoenix was your best friend, and Bradley was her friend and your boyfriend, so you guys had spent a lot of time together.
There wasn’t a thing that you wouldn’t do for either of them. Putting yourself in uncomfortable and vulnerable positions to make sure that either of them were okay. You would walk through fire if either of them had asked, that's just how much you had loved them, but they obviously didn’t reciprocate it back.
~
It started before he had even left. He was staying out later, saying that they just needed him on base for longer. Leaving your shared bedroom to go sit in the living room on the phone at night when he thought you were asleep. You wanted to believe it was work, but when he wouldn’t even look you in the eye when he talked to you anymore, if he talked to you at that point, you started to think otherwise.
You had asked him multiple times if it was something you did. If he was mad at you.
“Please Bradley, just tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?” You pleaded with him in the middle of your kitchen.
He wouldn’t even pull up his eyes in the slightest to look at yours, looking anywhere but where you needed him to the most.
“Nothing baby, I promise.” He replied, giving you a broken promise.
“That’s why you won’t even look at me anymore?” You basically cried in front of him. It was tearing you apart, knowing that you were slowly losing him but you couldn’t know why.
“I do look at you,” Bradley shot back, finally looking you in the eyes now that you had said something, but you knew from the first time that you had questioned him on it, that it would last this conversation that would soon be over, and then it was right back to square one, “Don’t overthink baby, I love you.” He told you, making you hear what you wanted to.
Stupid little naieve you, believed him. You wanted to believe him, he never gave you a reason to not. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to his words so you did, but that didn’t stop you from calling up your best friend in search of some advice.
“Phe, he won’t even look at me, how am I supposed to fix things if I don’t know what's wrong.” You cried into the phone to your friend who you shared everything with.
It felt a little weird at first, talking about your relationship with the girl that your now boyfriend had chased for a couple of months, but she assured you that she never felt that way for him, that she didn’t mind helping you talk through your relationship. You took her at her word and let it all out.
“I know y/n, but you just need to keep trying to talk to him. He loves you, and I’m sure he is just going through some stuff right now. Work hasn’t been the easiest so maybe he is just taking it hard.” You heard her speak into the phone, you could sense the shrug in her shoulders.
~
What you didn’t realize, is that while you were sitting there, beating yourself up and asking for advice from Phoenix, they were going behind your back.
The late nights and the night phone calls Bradley was having, was all due to Natasha. She was the one occupying your boyfriends time, instead of you.
You were being replaced and you didn’t realize until it was too late.
While you were trying to fix your relationship, save it from perishing and burning you to the ground with it, they were having the time of their lives, falling into love just like they said they wouldn’t.
You were nursing a broken heart and they were living their lives like nothing had ever happened.
The worst part, having to find out days after.
Bradley and Natasha were called onto a last minute deployment, leaving for two weeks. You had just gotten into a big fight with Bradley the night that he left, Natasha consoling you and making sure you were okay. Offering her shoulder to cry on, you accepted it until she had to leave too.
It was basically radio silence from then on, barley getting one word answers every 4 hours from Bradley when usually he was on top of his phone, never letting your message stay on delivered for more than an hour.
You kept telling yourself that he was busy, he was working, but in your head you knew it wasn’t true. It was so painful to know that you were losing the love of your life and there was nothing you could do but sit back and watch.
It was now 3 days before he was supposed to come home. It was still quiet on his end, but you were hoping that you guys could talk when he walked back into those doors. That the time apart made him realize that he was wrong, and you were just overthinking. None of the rumors you were hearing from around you were true. That he was in love with Natasha now. That they were dating. That you and him had broken up already, but you weren’t made aware.
That was until, of course, the text message had rollen through at a crisp 12:30 am. Of course you weren’t sleeping, you couldn’t. Since he had left, you barely slept, ate, or talked. It was all too much for you to do, it was too painful. Every time you fell asleep, you would dream about all of the good things that happened in your relationship. Talking was too tiring. Eating made you nauseous. There was no winning in this situation, and the text message just made it all worse.
‘We need to take a break’
The words flashing across your screen made your heart stop. It fell so far into your chest you could feel it in your toes. You mind stopped buzzing and there was nothing. No thoughts, no noise, it was just pure silence. Your ears started ringing, hands shaking, breath running ragged. Your body was shutting down over 6 words.
To anyone, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. A break is a break. But to you, it was the end of the world. Your mind flashed back to the conversation you and Bradley had early into your relationship.
‘A break is just a break up with extra steps. There is no coming back from it ever.’ He had told you. You had agreed, a break is just an easy way to let someone down, but to break their heart even more. That is exactly what he was doing.
You started shaking so hard when crying that you hurt all over. What had you done to make you deserve this? Were you that bad of a girlfriend? Was it something you said, or did? Why was this happening to you?
He gave you no answers. No one did. No one knew what was going on anymore.
You never connected the dots between Natasha and Bradley until she had forgotten to take you off of her close friend's story and posted a bunch of stuff about how much she had loved Bradley, pictures of them together, of them kissing and holding hands. That’s when everything that had ever happened started making sense.
You didn’t have the strength to answer him right away, but all you could muster to reply was, ‘if that makes you happy then okay’
He told you he loved you and that he was sorry, but you knew it was a lie. How could he be so okay with lying to you still, right through his teeth. He didn’t love you, because if he did, he would’ve at least had the decency to tell you in the beginning that he was losing feelings. It would’ve hurt a whole lot less, though still hurting. Being lied to and cheated on is the worst pain of all, especially when you are staying back in your life to try and fix something that had no bother being fixed.
Bradley didn’t want you to fix your relationship, he had already checked out a long time ago, just forgot to tell you.
You thought you knew pain, true pain, and knew it a long time ago, but it would never amount to the kind of pain you are feeling now.
If he had the respect to just tell you, to just say before he got involved with Natasha, that he didn’t want to be with you anymore, it would’ve been a whole lot better than it is now.
Not only are you feeling the pain of losing the person you thought you were going to marry, but your best friend. The person you literally ran to, to talk about the problems in your relationship. The person who had given you advice to try and fix it, even though she knew the reason you and Bradley were failing, and she was that reason.
Natasha sat right in front of you, pretending to be your best friend and the shoulder you cried on, while she was going behind your back and being the main cause of your pain. How could someone do that?
Then have the audacity to spread rumors around your friend group, that you had learned to love since you were connected to them through Natasha and Bradley, and tell them that you were crazy and a liar.
None of them had believed her though. The group of aviators that you had first met when Bradley had gotten called back to Top Gun and you followed him like a lost puppy, had dropped contact with the two, but continued to talk to you.
You felt bad for a minute, for taking their friends away from them, before you realzied that they had ruined your life. They had given you so much pain and grief to last a lifetime, so no, you didn’t feel bad that the team had chosen you over them.
The team knew better than to take the two outliers side, they didn’t agree with what they did and they knew how much pain it put you through.
Bob and Hangman had stayed with you for a few days after you and Bradley had officially broken up and it was made known. You couldn’t leave your couch for that time, everything, even blinking, was too daunting of a task for you to do, but the men had made sure that you stayed as healthy as you could. Making sure you at least drank water and tried to keep something down. Made sure you showered and brushed your teeth, and most importantly, made sure you knew you weren’t alone.
You couldn’t thank them enough after you broke out of your funk. You started putting yourself together, slowly but surely. You had blocked the two backstabbers on everything you could think of, and deleted every picture and video you could find, just to make sure you didn’t get a glimpse of them. It was too much to see that.
You picked yourself up off of the floor, physically and metaphorically, obviously with the help of the team who weren’t associated with them anymore, and found ways to make yourself feel better/
You were finally going to be okay. Yeah, some days were going to be worse than others, and you were going to have to eventually face them, but for now, for the moment, you were able to breathe.
Bradley crossed your mind here and there, small things reminding you of the time you had with him. Same with Natasha, little things that you had made inside jokes about had always popped into your mind, and it used to set you off into a spiral, but now, you were able to breathe through it. You were able to work through everything and find a way to make peace with everything.
You were growing and you realized it. You were strong, and you were brave, and you would be okay. You would always be okay.
~
The day that you had to see him in person inevitably came. You were doing so well avoiding the interaction all together, but it was Naval Ball, Jake had invited you to go with him. It wasn’t more than friends though, he just wanted you to get out of the house more, make some new friends. Everyone knew it was because he wanted an excuse to leave early, and if he brought you, then you could be his excuse.
You didn’t mind though, seeing everyone again would be nice and getting free booze was a plus. All you had to do was plaster on a fake smile around Bradley for the few seconds you had to interact, and then Jake would whisk you away and it would be over. Pushed to the back of your mind while you enjoyed the rest of your night.
Though you wished it to work that way, your life never made it that easy.
When it came time to come face to face with the man who broke you into pieces not a couple months ago, your body went numb. You couldn’t breathe very well, but you managed to put on a fake smile and struggle internally without drawing attention to yourself.
“Y/n” He nodded at you.
You stared blankly at him, how did he seem so fine in your presence. While you were sweating and wishing you were anywhere else besides here, basically hyperventilating, he was treating this like he had seen you every day for the past couple months. Like nothing ever happened between you.
“Rooster” You nodded back. You knew it would sting him, you never called him by his call sign during your relationship.
‘That’s for work, and I don’t work with you, so you are Bradley to me. Or baby.’ You had told him once, and stood by it. You never called him Bradshaw, or Rooster, just Bradley, B, or any pet name you had chosen that day.
If it affected him, he didn’t let it show, just returning a tight lipped smile before excusing himself. You followed him with your eyes, he made it across the room to stand next to Natasha. That was another reason you were losing your breath.
You watched as he said a couple of words to her, she tried to get a secret glance your way without being caught, but staring at them from across the room, you met with her eyes as soon as they turned in your direction.
You didn’t hesitate to turn around and bust out of the room, rushing down the quiet hallway. Not sure why you even agreed to come here knowing Bradley was going to be here, all you wanted to do was go home.
The feeling that had come and gone when you were first going through everything had come flooding back through your system. It was like you had made no progress at all. It hurt too much. To see him so happy and unaffected. How could he?
He could’ve at least pretended to be heartbroken, for your sake. To make you feel less weak, but you knew that was stupid thinking.
Bradley and Natasha were happy. They were in love, and as much as you wished they would hurt a fraction of how you did, that their relationship would fall apart in shambles, worse than yours and Bradley’s did, you couldn’t help but be happy that he was happy.
That’s all you wanted for him since you met the man. As long as he was happy, then you would find a way to be okay. If being happy meant not being with you, then you were going to have to find a way to cope, because that’s all you had wished and prayed for since you could remember.
You had tried to prove to yourself, at least that’s what you had convinced yourself but everyone knew it was for show, for him, that you were going to act unaffected. Pretend to laugh effortlessly at something the Hangman had said. Place a friendly hand on Fanboy’s shoulder and try not glance over that ROoster while you did it. Yu knew he would be watching, you fel this eyes on you all night.
Although Bradley was there with Natasha, it didn’t stop him for letting his eyes bore into you the entire night. You had glanced in his direction without rewalizing it, it was just an unbroken habit from the months you had spent with him, and every single time without fail, you had made eye contact with him. He never looked away first though, you always broke the moment and found the ceiling tiles fairly interesting.
The game that you guys had been playing all night had been mentally exhausting. You felt like the months of building yourself up were slowly slipping away and you couldn’t let it happen. You had worked entirely way too hard on yourself to try and get into the comfortable position you were with yourself, so you finally were that excuse for Jake, tugging on his arm as a cue to start wrapping it up. You wanted to go home early, and he never argued it.
Not only did Jake want to go home, he was just waiting for your signal, but you needed to go before something else happened. It wasn’t that simple though. WHile walking out the doors, you had realized you guys left in such a hurry you forgot your small bag inside. Jake had offered to go grab it for you,w hich left you outside the doors by yourself. It was quiet enough, letting you chill out for a few minutes while waiting, but that was greatly interrupted by the door opening up.
You perked up, thinking it was Jake who was just that quick, but instead you were met with the same face that had haunted your mind this entire time. You just turned around and went to walk away, opting to meet Jake at the car instead, but you were cut off, making you stop in your tracks.
“Y/N Please just hold up.” He had said, which if you were in your right mind, you wouldn’ve kept walking. He didn’t deserve the time of day, not after what had happened, not after what he did, but your body stopped anyways, against all of your mind and hearts wishes. You never turned around though, just standing there as he talked to your back.
“I-I’m sorry, for everything, I never met to hurt you.”Bradley explained and immediately you body buzzed with anger. Whipping around you let out every single word you had imagined saying to his face since the day everything happened.
“You never meant to hurt me? Seriously?” Your voice was laced with venom, anger taking over every single feature of your face, “All you did was tear me apart and stomp on every single piece. You fucking tortured me while you were off play family and house with my best fucking friend Bradshaw.” You threw your hands up in the air, “The one person you told me not to worry about, you left me for.”
“If maybe you had the small amount of respect for me as I had for you, then you would’ve told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore, but instead you went behind my back and made me feel like shit. I was losing my mind for weeks because I thought I did something wrong.” You sighed, the anger leaving your body faster than you thought it would’ve, but now your body was being consumed by anxiety and wanting to be wrapped in your fluffiest blanket.
“I lost myself trying to fix us, and you didn’t have a care in the world, because you don’t care about anyone but yourself, Rooster.” You spit out, “So please, don’t ever speak to me or about me again.” You concluded as you saw Jake making his way towards the two of you.
He didn’t even say a word while wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you away from the situation, looking behind you guys to give Bradley a look, but you weren’t bothered to find out what it was. You kept your head down the entire car ride home, silently.
You wished tonight could’ve gone different. You wished that you and Bradley could’ve been civil enough to get through the night, and you thought you were past everything, but turns out you weren’t. For the record though, he had the time to process and move on, all you were left with was unanswered questions and heartbreak.
Loving Bradley Bradshaw was the worst thing you had ever had the displeasure of experiencing and it consumed you entirely, in both the mind-numbing loving kind of way, and mind-numbing pain kind of way, but surprisingly, you caught yourself thinking about how you would do it all over again if it meant experiencing the kind of love you gave. Even if you weren’t able to experience that kind of love being given to you, you knew that you were capable of giving it, and that was enough to keep you at peace with it.
#bradley bradshaw x y/n#top gun#top gun maverick#jake seresin#one shots#angst#hangman#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw smut#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley rooster bradshaw#heartbreak#natasha trace#natasha phoenix trace#natasha trace x reader
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a lot happened today, good and bad, and im still processing it. but i'll try to retell it all below. warning: this will be long and graphic
major tw for self-harm
so i had class with M and everything was fine, I even got to talk with her a few times which i was really happy about. but later when we were doing our own thing, she got really fascinated with this one student which made me want to cry because i was jealous she was so intrigued and spent so much time with them. this student is also so much cooler than me so i understand why. i got super upset at myself for feeling this way, so with very little thought i left the room to go to the bathrooms and consequently slash my arm up
i had new blades and i was in such a state where i wasn't thinking so i wasn't careful with how i cut, i just wanted to do some damage, and i ended up bleeding much more than i usually would. once i saw how much blood there was on me and on the floor, i realised i had to stop the bleeding and used a bunch of paper towels to make it stop. eventually, unluckily for me, i ran out and spent a long time just rinsing my arm under the water (which in hindsight definitely prolonged the bleeding), but i couldn't go to the next stall for paper since there were people outside and it seemed to keep being taken.
had i not gone in the stall with barely any paper left i probably would've avoided this, but this led to me having to ask the people outside for paper and since i was kind of panicked i was saying i had a medical emergency, so this led to them getting a teacher down to check on me and basically the whole process of first aid coming down to bandage my arm n setting a welfare meeting for another day since this was at the end of the day.
what i didn't expect however was M to come down as well. i felt super embarrassed and ashamed once i saw her face, i didn't know how to react. but once she heard I was harming myself she came in to comfort me, even calling me her 'baby' when coming down and hugging me. i hugged her back tightly and sobbed into her shoulder, it was so comforting.. she has such a motherly charm its crazy. she soon revealed she also used to self-harm, even at work, which made me feel so much more at ease since i felt extremely bad about myself as i feel like i should've grown out of these feelings by now, but i clearly hadn't.
after all the paperwork and talk was done, i went back to her class to get my stuff back and found she edited my work and added her own little charm to it while i was gone (we were just playing around with an editing program) 😭. since everyone was gone by then i asked to talk w her alone and ppl kept coming in the class, so M grabbed my wrist gently and led me out somewhere where only us two can talk
i basically thanked her for her hug and all her kind words, and was sorry that she had to witness me at such a state. following this we talked for a little bit about her own struggles with self-harm and having to be sectioned, and about her thoughts on me which, i wish i could remember all the details, but i was so messed up i only remember it partly. regardless, it was lovely to hear and definitely what i needed at the time.
one of the best parts of this whole aftermath conversation was when i not-so-jokingly said i have mommy issues and she laughed saying "I KNOW" 😭😭😭. i was rlly taken aback by that so i stuttered and asked what made her come to that conclusion, and she basically just talked about stuff like my conservative mother and catholic upbringing which i brought up to her. she later said that she had her own struggles w her daughter and how she kinda sees that in me, to which i hesitantly said "i kinda wish you were my mum" and SHE SAID "me too right now" ?!!??"! IDK HOW I DIDN'T IMPLODE RIGHT THEN..
during this whole conversation we hugged so many more times and it was kinda awkward at one point cuz her lanyard got stuck on my cardigan LMFAO but it was so healing and awesome to talk w her about all this, even if i wish she didn't have to witness any of it. there's so much more i could say but if i gave all the details then this post would be 10x longer. obviously i didn't mention why i cut in the first place, and i'm contemplating even doing so to anyone cuz i don't want her taken away from me.
with all that said despite all the horrible stuff, something good came out of it and i'm grateful for that, although i worry it deepened my attachment to M even further....which honestly was inevitable at this point anyway.
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Okay, first, I had planned to post something today in honor of s3 (!!!) (another one of those scene + show edits) but didn’t have the time, but I’m going to make one like this week (maybe end up using scenes from this chapter because aaaa). Second, I have so many thoughts about this chapter that I’m going to leave a comment on it on ao3. So, here are my aaaaa thoughts and my ao3 comment will probably actually sound coherent lol.
The relationships!!! I love how you write relationships in their complexities. Morgana and Arthur’s relationship being a focus in this really fits, especially the difference in the beginning versus the end.
All he could feel was her absence. They were like two pieces of cotton woven to make a string, his life does not exist if not alongside hers. Even when they were not directly interacting he would see her at every moment throughout the day. Now, her empty seat at dinner seems to dominate the space, consuming his attention, memories of her in the halls and his chambers haunt him like a ghost. The one time he dared to go to her chambers the emptiness felt like an aching wound. Morgana entered his life when he was five years old, he doesn’t know a time when she wasn’t in the castle with him. She has always been a sister to him, and he misses her like a limb.
That being in the first four paragraphs, god my heart was being torn out of my chest already. I knew the chapter would hurt, but I hadn’t been expecting it to hurt that fast. I sat down, finally able to read after running errands, and was immediately kicked in the chest at full force. Then we have Morgana’s perspective later, and once again, kicked in the chest.
Morgana looks up from the cauldron with a start. “Not Arthur.”
That one line had me have to stop for a second because I love the dynamic. They love each other so very dearly that they see each other as siblings without even knowing they’re siblings. Often times, we don’t get to see that explored in fics because it’s kind of hard to know in canon. Or at least my opinion because we don’t understand if Morgana has entirely changed or there’s still some “good” (for a lack of a better word) left in her.
I will say that Gwen’s pov of Morgana actually made me want to sob. Honestly, your writing just makes me feel all the emotions of the characters, so it’s not surprising that they’re in some distress that I’m in distress. As I’ve said before, you have such a strength in emotion writing. If you have any tips, please share because I’m always blown away every time I read OAFK (which has been several times).
Where Gwen had once kept careful distance, Morgana pulled her in with both hands into her open arms. They grew beyond the role of maid and mistress, developing a true friendship that Gwen cherishes more than most other things in her life.
I’m trying to not like quote it too much, because it makes these get so long but it’s these two sentences that just started off their established relationship and getting ready to see what it is now. Also, the knowledge of how Morgana feels/felt for Gwen doesn’t make it hurt but does at the same time. I’m pretty sure it’s chapter nine where we’re introduced to Morgana’s love for Gwen, but it’s chapter thirteen where she thinks that Gwen knows she loves her (or maybe I misinterpreted that). They both love each other so deeply, regardless of if in different ways, and seeing that fall apart a little just hurts. It hurts Gwen, so it hurts me.
I have many thoughts and feelings about Morgana and Merlin, but that will make this probably 2k+ words long, and I’ll just do it in a comment on the chapter! Also, do not feel bad about changing the update schedule!!! You take the time you need to update! There’s nearly 300k words currently, we can just reread it a million times. It’s fun because you get to see more and more details every time!
HELLO !! im so sorry it took me so long to get to this, i read it immediately but it made me so happy i truly didn't know how to respond (also genuinely squealed over your ao3 comment too, you dont know how much it means to read analysis about my work i love it so much thank you)
morgana and arthur's dynamic is truly one of the most important things to me so im so glad you enjoyed this chapter and how i addressed them, i feel like the idea of her turning truly on arthur seems impossible to me when he technically had done nothing to her yet to make her feel betrayed, so it was important to me to show how much they love each other (this may come to hurt teehee)
and yes gwen and morgana !!!! the tragedy of what happens to them shouldnt be overlooked and there's absolutely more of that to come so look forward to that 👀
and thank you for your kind words about the update schedule !! it means a lot, it wasn't my ideal situation but id much rather continue posting regularly and just more spaced apart than have to hiatus so its the way it has to be !!
seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind comments and all your thoughts i keep coming back to them it just makes me so happy !! and thank you again for reading !!
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ahhh hi hi i'm here with thoughts about the new chap hehe
ok first, i LOVE this line so much. i can kind of see it now - the similarities between reader and hanma, but at the same time they are so so different. i'm not sure why but this stood out to me! there were also many lines like this thru out the chap - i do pay attention to details bc i know some writers have a bunch of foreshadowing in their fics👀
another thing is that i literally GASPED when a certain violet haired man made an approach in this fic, im guessing it was ran but i was so happy to have him in this fic!! (i don't think it was actually mentioned if it was ran or rin, but i'm p sure it was ran ahah) i rly liked the entire encounter and he was being pretty respectful which i didn't see coming lol.
yknow i loved this entire convo so much there was a lot thrown at us but at the same time you described/phrased it in such a way that made it easier to understand. i think i re read this part like 3 times; i kinda felt like this is the most honest convo they’ve had and it was the most series imo. it was really nice seeing hanma kinda open up. we also got to know more about the docs past too.
the last line about minimizing pain for the reader 👀 idk if im being dumb or if this has some sort of deeper meaning, but is it talking about the docs emotional pain? (towards hanma maybe?) im not sure lol rip and maybe it’ll be cleared up within the next few chapters but for now i’ll be left wondering hehe
okoki this is getting so so long i’m so sorry BUT i reallyyyy wanna talk about the smut i was literally vibrating in my seat the entire time aksdj when i first read the chap tags i kinda saw where it was going. club - hanma get head - reader watches. BUT OMG I DIDNT expect the reader to join in??!AND THE EYE CONTACT? deceased. i had to put my phone down a few times bc it was just THAT good ahaha. you really write such good smut it leaves my brain all mushy (that kakucho fie lives in my head rent free btw.)
OK IM FINISHED. i’m really sorry if this was annoying but i genuinely love this fic so much and your writing as well!!!! your fics are perfect for analysis and every chap keeps me thinking ahah but thanks again for sharing your wonderful work with us!!! have an amazing week!! (i’ve also read the devotion of the girl in the mirror again but was too nervous to send an ask rip)
this is the kind of comment/ask that really means the world to me 💖 it feels like so much more than i could ever ask for. so thank you so sincerely! i was stuck on the next chapter for both stories, and after reading this, i sat down and edited 2k words and broke the writers' block. THANK YOU 🥰
the fact that you screenshotted lines that really resonated!!!!! nothing could be less annoying!!! i'm giving you a long response right back because this is so much good stuff to react to!!!
one of my favorite lines from the chapter too! And yeah, reader + hanma are so different from each other, but i think they have a pretty similar problem with how they move through the world. they never could have had this conversation before. they're only able to be this open now because a) they both think they're talking more big picture and not being fully aware of what they're revealing about themselves; but most importantly b) they have a CREEPING INTIMACY! they are so much closer than they were a few chapters back :) I am so glad you noticed that because it was Very intentional.
you pretty much nailed the pain comment. Reader recognizes that she is taking on a very out of character risk with the Hanma stuff, and that opens her up to emotional pain but also risk that he's going to make her (or her life) change, which she is resistant to.
not much to say about the smut stuff other than...i am glad to see it's working. that is what i was going for 😏😆 (also thank you on the kakucho fic :))
it means the WORLD that you find things to analyze and think about because i am pouring so much of that in there intentionally, and knowing that people see it and get something out of it too is Super motivating. You are more than welcome to send me nice asks on any story any time (in fact, i'm begging lol jk)
#literally insanely kind and nice and so grateful wow#like woww#read more because i said a lot#i love you for this so much#asks
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1, 4, 17, 27, 33, 49, 58, 61, and 70
THANK U SM ILY HFIREJIJFOIJFR
Despite the fact I've started an extremely long and detailed multi-chapter fic, which I love dearly, it is no secret that I prefer one-shots. I have a hard time finishing fic and one-shots leave no room for incomplete fics when I get too busy! They also tend to do better for me somehow.
4. My new ideas... I get a lot of inspo from other people, from other fics, and from fanart! I thrive off of other people a LOT. Sometimes I do just love rewatching something and letting my mind wander tho
17. When writing becomes difficult for me (which it often does) I usually just try to center myself with things that make me feel better about it. Rereading the fic itself to remember why I loved it, talking to other people about the fic, trying to be patient with myself to actually have fun with it, re-reading the heart-wrenching comments left for me (SERIOUSLY I LOVE THIS SM), and most of all remembering that creativity is an ebb and flow and I won't always be creative!
27. My favorite part of writing has to be when I actually complete something and put it out into the word. Whether that is a chapter or a one-shot, when I finally get to share this thing that I've been doing with others... it's so good. I also love being able to see the surprise when I give them a twist. My least favorite part has to be.. well sometimes I get to a scene, right? I've done some research, have to do more (ugh!) which feels like a lot. Then when I finally get to writing it, I don't know where I want the scene to go what's going to happen next. Even the tiny details like how they're going to stand. Getting over those little hurdles takes me a while sometimes. All I want to do is get into the meat of the dialogue! Ugh!
33. I do actually want to be published some day! I have something I've been working on for a long, long time but I've never had the confidence to really get into or finish. Lately I hit a slump with it and it kind of bummed me out for a while. I'm glad I can write other things like LWH.
49. Rude reviews... unfortunately for me I don't have a big enough pull in order to get comments like that. Usually I have an overwhelmingly positive response to my writing. There was once when I was just starting to write... *shudder* they dragged me all over Twitter. It was a whole thing. I kind of deserved it.
58. What part of writing do I like the most. Hm. This one is tough. Going to be totally honest here, I only outline fics like LWH that have a lot of details I don't want to mess up and I barely use or stick to the outline. I guess if I had to pick it would be between brainstorming and reading the final product. I get caught up in brainstorming a lot because I have so many ideas so quickly and its usually main plots and relationships. I have so many ideas that die in this phase and it kind of sucks, but I love the rush that comes with new exciting ideas. Reading the final product would probably be my fave part though- not the editing. Just. I like to come back to my fic after a while, like a few days or a week or so, and then reread it. And its like I get to read that fanfic I was looking for that tickles all the right spots. Because I did that. (Sometimes, if Ive waited long enough, I forget what happens and its all new to me!!)
61. I guess I continue writing fics for two reasons. (Im so sorry I'm indecisive). 1- I love being able to share them with people and see their reactions. it gets me every time. 2- recently I've been really into writing for me. It isn't just about other people. Especially with LWH where I've done so much research, it feels like. Heres this thing. I want to do it to finish it, yeah, to share it, maybe. But I really wanna do it because I like seeing where it goes and I like being able to apply my research in interesting ways.
70. I am So embarrassed to tell people I write. Like if I know you IRL there is NO way I'm telling you anything about my writing. Maybe because of being on Tumblr? IDK. But online I'm way more willing and happy to share cause. you're never going to look me in the eyes and know I wrote smut fanfiction about Sans/Komaeda. You're never going to know about the terrible things I've written about. If I just had LWH on my page, maybe, since I'm mostly proud of that even if it is a little weird, but... I have so many others.
Thank you so much for the Ask! I realize I don't talk much on here about my writing and my process. It's so fun!
Feel free to ask me more questions from here!
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Long ramble about dog grooming because i got very flustered at work, am still freaking out about it, and need to vent it 🙃
I got a massive tip today from a client with a dobie puppy and im so worried these people didnt actually mean to do it . This puppy came in for his first ever grooming session and he had some kind of dry skin issue that only really showed up after he was brushed. I didnt blow dry him since it was his first experience, and thats usually when i see the extent of most skin issues since the force dryer reveals everything hidden by fur, not to mention itll blow away a majority of skin flakes if the dog has bad dandruff (which this puppy had, i also didnt get to check him in so i didnt get to ask details about him) Im frustrated i didnt get to be as educational as i could have been for his owners. I got so scattered and couldnt get the words out about some solutions they could try alongside talking to their vet, and i would have had them come back for a special bath in a shampoo that specifically helps dry/generally problematic skin to rule out a reaction to the soap i used (which was hypoallergenic and should not cause a reaction, but maybe???) but i completely forgot everything.
I got super flustured because there was a miscommunication about the tip (we dont check people out, the cashiers on the retail floor do it) and they almost gave me $260, which is, absolutely not what they intended. I talked to the cashiers and they went to take care of it with one of the parents while i was with the other one trying to see if i could do anything more for him by trying to blow his coat a little (which, i couldnt actually do because i had to use the lowest setting without a nozzel so it didnt scare the shit out of him, and even that was pushing it close to his threshold) Ultimately, theres not a lot i can do for dry skin without being able to deep scrub, condition, and force dry their coats fully, which is nearly impossible for a puppys first groom without traumatizing them. I got him back to his parents and they seemed happy about everything, im just still upset i couldnt do better for the particular situation, especially because the people were amazing. Just them bringing their doberman puppy in to be groomed makes me love them and want to do everything possible to make it a good experience for them and the pup, but i feel like that didnt happen and im so confused why they still left a massive tip, and if they actually meant to do it.
Most of it is that im super flustered by them still giving me $100 tip, which has never happened in my 4 years of grooming working on massive, hairy, stubborn dogs; the biggest ive ever gotten was $40 from a lady who i was already undercharging for the work her akita was.
I just hope they bring him in again so i can talk to them more thoroughly and maybe help his skin more now that hes been introduced to everything and i could maybe do a better job. Im still really bothered by it because what if they didnt intend to leave that much money and it becomes an issue for them? They already did get it fixed from 260 to 100, and the cashier promised me he asked them for confirmation several times but like...asdfkjshbfkchsbsjfksbfkf im happy to take huge tips but i worry for my clients financial situations and if i dont feel like i did a good job taking a tip makes me feel ashamed, so im still freaking out about how everything went down.
Thank you and sorry to anyone who read this lol, i really just needed to type it out so i could stop losing my mind thinking about it.
Edit: im also wondering after the fact if the laundry detergent the salon uses caused a reaction, its not the usual scentless, hypo soap so that very well could have caused it when drying him with the towel, but i dont know 😩
#probably delete later#im still so worried about it and i want to know if the pup got more itchy after getting home or if what i did helped#im being whiny blah#personal#woes of dog grooming
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WHEN YOU FIND OUT HE HAS AN ONLYFANS BC HE ACCIDENTALLY CASTED HIS LAPTOP SCREEN TO THE SMART TV
feat. the ‘00 line : tw suggestive
✰ — RENJUN is mortified. wtf his screen turned black right as he was cropping off his face from the video of himself masturbating in the car, where he does most of his onlyfans content bc duh he can’t do it in the apartment. you were always straight home after classes. a homebody. he cant just splay himself on the bed and moan and whine loudly to his heart’s content or else you’ll hear him and god no he’d rather die than you finding out he has an onlyfans. but just as he was furiously pressing the space button of his laptop to get it work somehow, your head pokes inside the door. “uhm, renjun i think you accidentally casted your screen on the tv” “ha ha what? no i did not” and right on cue, he hears the very distinct “ugh baby bet you want this cock in your mouth don’t you? i do too” coming from the living room and his cheeks were tinged red when he fell to his knees. “yn please let me explain!”
✰ — JENO is proud. you and him are quite close, he wouldn’t call it being bestfriends but still, he’s comfortable in your presence and so are you with him. its not that he’s keeping his onlyfans a secret, it’s just you never really asked anyway so he didn’t tell you anything. you and him were chilling in the living room like always. just you getting some readings done on the coffee table while he edits his pictures on the sofa. he had his earphones on and everything and was just doing quick last touchups for this latest nude pic he’s going to post tonight. just when his laptop screen turned black, the smart tv opened on its own, you and jeno’s eyes widened questioningly until there it was. his nude pic; standing before the gym’s locker room mirror, holding his hard dick on one hand, phone on the other, with his tongue teasingly peaking out. “okay but can i see the real thing right now?” jeno doesn’t let the shock paint his features. simply, he smirks.“fine but no drooling”
✰ — HAECHAN is shameless. he’d be kinda confused as to why his laptop’s screen suddenly turned black on him while he’s editing the audio for a new video he’ll be uploading in the weekend. he’d be plugging up his laptop charger bc he thought the device was drained, until he heard slick sounds and his moans coming from the living room. where you were. holy shit. when he bolts out his room, he finds you choking on your chips, sat upright on the couch as you can’t even take your eyes off the screen. he was going to apologize but when he saw the pink tinge on your cheeks and the way your legs clenched as you watched the video of him jerking himself off, he didn’t feel sorry. “are you that fascinated that you can’t take your eyes off my cock, baby? there’s more where that came from” and when you shyly waddled inside his room well... “hey wanna make a sex video with me? we can split the money”
✰ — JAEMIN is clueless. so like jeno, jaem over here isn’t going crazy trying to keep his onlyfans a secret. he wanted to tell you initially about it but the topic was never breached in everyday conversation until eventually he forgot to tell you about it completely. he had been streaming live that night until his toe might’ve accidentally pressed the button that said screencast just as he was about to cum all over his hands. meanwhile you in the living room, raised an eyebrow when the movie cuts and you see him on screen, right when he says “i wish you were here with me. your pussy would feel amazing choking my cock” when his stream was over, he hears a knock on his bedroom door and he immediately put his pjs back on before opening it. “hey jaem thanks for free content, thats some good stuff you have there. maybe i can join in sometime, okay thats all i have to say! bye~” “uh wait hold tf up what do you mean”
✰ — YANGYANG is relieved. okay so yeah he’s keeping it a secret but only because from what he remembers, you were always more on the conservative side. bb is scared you might kick him out if you find out he’s a content creator at onlyfans. okay definitely, his secret keeping needs a little bit of work because he literally left the tab open, right on his profile. you and him were working on a project together and you had insisted he casts his laptop screen on the tv for the presentation file and boiiiii he accidentally casted the wrong tab omfg im dying. his fingers trembled trying to find the uncast button as the most recent video he posted autoplayed “hey babe, you back? daddy’s been waiting for such a long time i missed your sweet pussy” but he pauses when he hears you laughing. “omg yangyang! i cant believe you have a daddy kink wtf!” well at the end of the day, he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hide it from you anymore and he can still live here.
✰ — SHOTARO is cheeky. okay if yalls think he’s going to be all innocent and embarrassed and soft uwu about the whole thing lmao hell no. i dont think he is. i bet he’s hiding all that sexayyy charisma under that cute face and it’s also probably why he’d have a hoard of people on his onlyfans. addicted to the contrast of that cute, soft voice of his going deep and domineering when the led lights in his room turn red. okay so you were running around the room almost late to your appointment when he “accidentally” hits screencast on his laptop. and suddenly the smart tv opened and he tried gulping down his laughter when you literally stopped in your tracks and watched the video of him unfold. “i bet baby’s laying down right now with her fingers shoved inside her cunny, getting off at the sight of my cock, hm slut?” your eyes widened like saucers and shit your pussy just clenched. “taro wtf is that-that you?” “i don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out, baby?”
headcanon reqs are open bitches !! had so much fun making this lmao idk alot abt onlyfans so im sorry if some of the details are wrong :'>
#nct#nct dream#nct 127#wayv#nct ot23#nct 00 line#nct 00 line smut#nct 00 line suggestive#nct headcanons#nct dream headcanons#wayv headcanons#nct 127 headcanons#renjun suggestive#renjun smut#renjun headcanons#jeno smut#jeno headcanons#jeno suggestive#haechan suggestive#haechan smut#haechan headcanons#jaemin headcanons#jaemin smut#jaemin suggestive#yangyang suggestive#yangyang headcanons#yangyang smut#shotaro headcanons#renjun#haechan
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the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo and ranboo
this is an extra episode to the great adventures series -
people included: platonic! jack/tubbo/ranboo/tommy
please read what is written in bold
this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future and is heavily inspired by bo burnhams song ‘goodbye’ this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out. i’m sorry HOWEVER i am currently writing how y/n made friends with everyone so you have that to look forward to. i am sorry to the new people who requested to be on the taglist as this is the first thing you’re being tagged in
cw: angst, cursing
it had been around 14 years since ranboo moved to the UK, a year after the day you all met, to be with you tommy and tubbo. you were all thriving; you were living with your best friends, were all some of the most watched creators, you were constantly making new memories with everyone. you even had a wall full of photos of you all from every adventure you had been on with a picture of ranboo poorly edited into the background which made you laugh as you passed the wall every day. almost every evening you would all watch something on the tv, often re watching your favourite tv shows. the past few months had been pretty rough, there were days you didn’t even want to leave the house. you and tommy would fight over the smallest things. for example, a few weeks ago you were both arguing about who was responsible for forgetting something whilst out shopping.
“you were supposed to remind me to get it!”
“i told you to make a fucking list tommy, how is this my fault?”
“because i told you to fucking remind me but you were too focused on playing around!”
“you’re not making any sense tommy!”
“oh fuck off, y/n! i don’t even want to look at you right now!”
“so long tommy i’ll see you when i see you!”
and with that you left to stay with jack until you were ready to go back home, it was around now you lost your love for streaming, however jack encouraged you to stream for a little while so you fans don’t think you’ve left them in the dark. 20 minutes into the stream you felt like you were slowly loosing power even though it hadn’t even been an hour into your stream. A week later you were still with jack, that’s when you got the notification from tubbo.
bo: y/n... we’re sorry we tried our best to make him stay
boo: y/n come home as soon as possible
*tommy has left the chat*
*tommy has blocked tubbo, ranboo, jack and y/n*
bo: he blocked me??
jack: and me
boo: ...yeah
jack offered to drive you back home, which you gladly accepted. the ride was silent, the pair of you still trying to process what just happened, your friend of over 14 years had enough and left you all, until you finally spoke up your voice shaking as you tried not to cry.
“so this is how it ends heh?”
“well at least i’ll save fuel driving taking us all on adventures.”
“youre really joking at a time like this..”
“i was only trying to lighten the mood.. you know you’re being rather selfish not everything is about you. you’ve always been like this.”
“jack, i know you’re upset, i am too, please don’t take this out on me.”
“get out the car.”
“well stop the car then for fuck sake, i’m not getting injured because of you.”
as soon as jack pulled over, you got out and began the walk home, your vision became blurry due to the tears forming as you watched jack drive away. you ended up sitting in a cafe for a while to calm down. none of this felt real you pinched yourself, hoping to find out you were stuck in some nightmare. jack must have returned by the time you made it to the cafe as the community was now spamming questions on twitter asking why jack has now left and unfollowed everyone, followed by your mods telling you to check twitter. your fan base were hurt as their favourite streamers were falling apart and blocking each other. followed by them asking why you’ve not been streaming, you felt like you were going crazy as everyone else was able to stream and enjoyed doing so but you were struggling to stream with no one laughing in the background. you ended up sending a dm to your discord announcements knowing that they’ll share the news.
y/n: so long, goodbye for now. you guys have been extremely supportive over the past 15 years. however there is a lot going on right now (i’ll spare you all the details) i’m going to be taking a break for a while. after all does anybody want to joke when no one’s laughing in the background? i’m sure we’ll meet again, until then my loves!
10 minutes later you decided you should probably go home to the others, after all they’re all you have left.
“i promise to never go outside again.”
as soon as you walked into the house rather than being met with tubbo asking if you were okay, you were met with a notification.
*bo has left the chat*
he stood with his bags near the door
“this is all your fault, i can’t look at you anymore”
“you’re really joking in a time like this...right?”
“you were looking for a reason hide again.”
“trust me buddy i found it.”
ranboo pulled you as close as he could crying into the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around his waist as tubbo left the house. it felt like he took the happy memories with him. as soon as ranboo let go, you ran to your room locking the door trying to hide away from the situation, ranboo sat on the other side of the door not wanting to be alone.
“am i going crazy? would i even know? am i right back where i started 14 years ago?”
“y/n let me in.”
you unlocked the door and practically fell into ranboos arms, once you felt strong enough the pair of you sat on your bed, nothing could separate the pair of you right now, you both lost the people you cared about.
“i swear to god all i ever wanted was a little bit of everything all of the time. i’ve finished playing and i’m staying inside.”
“y/n i’m sorry..”
“im sorry too, ranboo, i guess this is the it.”
“at least we have each other.”
“and that fucking photograph wall.”
“that’s a problem for another night..please get some rest.”
it took a while but eventually you fell asleep in his embrace. you may have lost the others but at least one of your best friends stuck around.
taglist (sorry guys)
@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee
#mcyt x reader#mcyt angst#mcyt fanfiction#mcyt writing#mcyt imagines#mcyt imagine#mcyt reader insert#tubbo x y/n#tubbo x you#tubbo x reader#tubbo imagine#tubbo angst#tommyinnit x y/n#tommyinnit x you#tommyinnit angst#tommyinnit x reader#jack manifold x reader#jack manifold x you#jack manifold x y/n#jack manifold imagine#jack manifold angst#ranboo x reader#ranboo x y/n#ranboo x you#ranboo angst#ranboo imagine
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i actually listen to blackpink since they're like my second group to listen to. anyways thanks for answering my request!💖
if you don't mind, can i request some headcanons of leon from pokemon with an s/o from the real world? like they were travelling or something and feel asleep and then woke up to the pokemon with only their phone and bag and leon was the one who found them.
this is a very weird and specific request 💀 so im sorry for that. blame my hyperactive since they function differently when it's night lmao. also im nosey anon btw!
There's nothing really wrong with your ask, if anything the subject of jumping from your world and into a video game is something I thought about a lot.
I may just have to write this a little differently though? Because jumping through worlds is fine and all, but the establishment of a relationship is a little harder to establish with Leon's personality. He's helpful and compassionate sure, but most of his time is focused on securing his spot at the top as champion.
And the issue is where and how to explain the beginning of the story really. Do I start with the reader waking up in the game and just time skip like usual or do I have to go into detail of the establishment of a relationship with said character? Decisions decisions....
There could also be some kind of connection prior to the portal jumping that already has them in some kind of romantic relationship, like a dating sim dlc patch? I kinda like that idea....
ALSO THANK YOU FOR PICKING SOMEONE NEW! I love N to bits but the other characters deserve love too!
Edit: Hope you like ✨drama✨!
=
Leon w/ Real World S/O
- It's somewhat strange just how comfortable you've got being here, with him
- How are you not freaking out right now? You literally just jumped from the real world to a video game overnight
- The fact that him being the one to find you also seemed almost...planned out?
- Maybe downloading that Dating DLC wasn't a good idea after all, but you're still happy!
- "Y/N? Are you ok?" "Yeah." "You were spacing out again." "Just thinking." "About?" "How I actually got here..." "I've thought a little bit about that too.. Didn't come up with any good answers." "I'm just happy that you didn't let the fact that you're apart of a game bother you." "I mean if my presence is enjoyed by millions around the globe, then that just makes me happy."
"Do you think the dating dlc caused this?" "Y/N, I really...don't understand that part. You downloaded a dlc on a video game that was already out. Why?" "I plead the fifth for that answer." "You just wanted to be with me huh?" "Maybe..."
- He realized half way through you being here that everything he knows is just fabricated, and still seems to smile about it
- "Please don't tell Hop the truth. I'd rather see him continue on his journey happily instead of looking for a way to escape." "Leon, I would never want to cause harm to you or your family like that...I know that he's gone through way too much as is to get to where he is now." "You <played> as his rival. Throughout all of this... He really respects you."
"I....don't look like Gloria/Victor. I don't think he'll recognize me now." "It's ok if he doesn't. He can just get to know the real you, as Y/N L/N, instead of his programmed best friend." "Heh...the age gap is different too. I have no idea what to do as champion since "they" left. I'm so used to being in control of them." "I'm upset they're gone too, I have no idea what to tell Hop."
- You, your Pokémon, and Leon all end up trying to figure out how to explain some things to Hop without him getting upset for a little while, before going back to the beginning again
- "I feel asleep on a plane and woke up here. I didn't even have my Switch with me. I only had my bag and my phone when I woke up. Sort of like Gloria/Victor. Do you think that the code of the game is just having me replace them?" "I don't know. I'd hate to think we'd never see them again, even if they were just your placeholder. Have...you actually tried to call home?" "Yes. And I even looked through my contacts. They've all been altered."
"So, you're stuck here with me." "Is being champion as easy as it was out of the game?" "Huh?" "I'm the champion Leon. What am I supposed to be doing right now?" "Training I guess. You should probably take it easy for a while though, things do work differently here." "I remember the rules Leon, believe me."
- You actually checked to see whether or not that Gloria/Victor was at home by chance, their mom addressed you by name with a "Welcome home Y/N!" It's true, you really did end up replacing them
- Bede, Marnie, Hop and your pokémon all recognized you. Hop was the only one to notice that you were different now though.
"Y/N, you....look different now. I can't really tell what's changed...but somethings off. What did you do?" "Um... I changed my hair and eye contacts, as well as my clothes. I just felt like reinventing myself a little y'know?" "That's not what I meant...are you taller? You also...look older now.... What happened?" "Hop...I can't tell you. I'm sorry. But you're right, I have changed. I am older than you think I am." "I don't- I don't understand..." "It's ok, I didn't either when I woke up. It's just one more thing for all of us to get used to."
"I'm...I'm going to go talk to my brother...see you later Y/N." "....."
- Hop ended up going to Leon, very distraught, and asking about you. Leon did his best to explain (lie) and just told him he had no idea what happened to you. In the process, he told him that you two were an item now. To which Hop blew up on him, almost crying.
"YOU'RE WHAT?!?" "Hop please calm down." "Do you have any idea what I FEEL for them? DO YOU?!" "Hop, I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish. I don't expect you to accept it either. Please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you..." "I'm always going to be in your shadow Leon... When does the competitions stop...?"
----
"Guys!" "Y/N?" "What's with all the yelling? Hop?" "I'm...I'm fine. I'm just really upset right now....I need some air.... I- I can't stand being in this room right now... I'm sorry."
-------
"Leon?" "He blew up on me. I lied about knowing you've changed, but told him the truth about our relationship. He apparently had feelings for you as well." "Leon you couldn't have known." "I know...I don't pay enough attention to one of the most important people in my life. I...need to work on being a better brother."
"I really hate to say it this way but, Hop will move on. Ok? Don't feel bad, if he really wanted to be with me he would've said something." "I know, I know. Let's just...try to rest for today alright babe? I'm already exhausted..."
#pokemon leon#pokemon x reader#pokemon#pokemon headcanons#pokemon trainer#leon pokemon#champion leon#leon x reader#x reader#pokemon sword and shield
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Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1
It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.
Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!
Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.
Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!
Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!
Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?
Either way is ok, I’m just curious!
I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.
Hey! Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year. I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway. Was just curious about Step 4. Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?
Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.
¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english)
Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.
Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3
How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.
Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask
Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.
Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event?
It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.
HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!!
Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.
Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC?
Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.
Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3?
Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.
will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused?
It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.
Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits?
Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.
Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it.
For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.
Did the illustrator for Our Life change?
We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.
So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀
Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.
Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.
Keep up the amazing work! ♡
Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.
Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it?
I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.
Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!
Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline events planned?
I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!
Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game!
The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.
Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place?
Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.
Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence?
Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.
Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?
After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.
Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.
She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.
Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀
It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.
—– —– —– —–
We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask.
FAQ
Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
#our life#Our Life Beginnings & Always#Our Life: Now & Forever#ask#gb patch#gb patch games#xoxo droplets
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——— Hello, writeblr!
🪶 Call me Upward. I’m ancient by tumblr standards : I made my main blog (unsurprisingly named @upward - where my likes/follows come from!) in 2008.
🪶 I’m in my mid-thirties, based in the US and use she/her pronouns.
🪶 I spend a lot of time with words. As a Creative Director with a background in Copywriting, my day is spent making sure words, images and emotion play nice. Even when I’m not working on my novel or short stories.
🪶 My Copywriting experience has given me great tools for my own work, but one of my passions is helping others write and edit more effectively too!
🪶 I’m lousy with grammar though. Can’t use a comma properly to save my life, according to countless proofreaders.
🪶 I’m also a photographer! And I collect hobbies. Learning things makes my brain happy even if I don’t stick with it.
🪶 Mostly speculative fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, horror. Appalachian settings and themes play enormous roles in my work as do my characters’ relationships with the setting.
🪶 avatar art is not mine, credit is here!
🪶 Primary WIP: The Butcher Bird
(This sounds like a shitty movie voiceover I KNOW IM SORRY)
For as long as anyone could remember, most humans looked skyward for extraterrestrial arrival. Even if they had looked in the right place, it wouldn’t have saved them. Several years after the collapse of civilization, an event known as the Landing, only a small percentage of the human population remains, learning to survive in communities cut off from technology and the rest of the world. Sadie Barton returns to the Smoky Mountains, in many ways the same unruly girl who left her daddy’s house on the lake the day she turned eighteen. But years of service in a secretive militia left deep marks, the most recent of which brings her to the struggling community of Snowbird and some old friends. Despite a brutal start to another hard winter, it’s a chance to right some wrongs, find a purpose and finally come home. Except the trees across the hills and in the hollers are lighting up with more strange runes, making it much harder for her to disappear.
I’ve had this story in my head for more than ten years, but didn’t start actively writing it until Autumn of 2021. I’m nearing the end of my first draft but I keep learning new things, meeting interesting characters and messing with what I’ve already written. Good chance it’s well over 150k words with “deleted scenes” or pieces I haven’t been able to place yet. Likely a duology and it sets up a fun universe to play in!
🪶 Additional WIPs: UPDATED 7/17
1. Unnamed Appalachian Horror Project
Co-writing an Appalachian horror anthology with a friend. Short stories that intersect. Inspired by a card from the game Inscryption.
2. Unnamed Web Series
Another joint venture that will hopefully become a web series! A slice of life comedy that explores what happens when residents of a rural mountain community have problems with their HOA (and each other).
A smattering of short stories neglected for years and years. More suspended and unfinished than in progress. But they’re there!
🪶 Etc etc: Why and What else?
I’m not really comfortable peppering most people with details about my project. I’m keeping it close (why you won’t find things like full chapters here either) and surprisingly shy about letting anyone read my work.
But I’m desperate to talk about it! What I’m learning, changes I’m making, ideas I get. What my OCs are like.
Even though I’ve been writing since I could hold a pencil (I still remember my first short story from first grade) and people even pay me to write, I have no idea how to write good novel-length fiction. I have so much to learn. I get stuck frequently. I lose focus. I battle a lot of burn out.
I try to write at least 400 words a day unless I’m having a tough burn-out day, so that’s my primary writing goal. My next one? Finish this rough draft by June 30 of 2022.
So bring on the questions and the prompts and the ideas. I’d love to read your work and ask you more about it, too!
#writing#writeblr#writeblr intro#did I do this right?#upward writes#is it writblr or writeblr please someone tell me#writers on tumblr
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as the world caves in | ch. 9 | bucky barnes x reader
synopsis: You are a ghost story. A former Air Force pilot who had her plane shot down by Germany in 1945, but here you were in 2023, alive and frozen in your 25-year-old body.
You haven’t seen Bucky since the 1940’s, before his fall, before you went on a suicide mission only to come back alive. You aren’t sure reliving those memories – and being a living memory of everything the man has lost – is the best for him.
But you and Bucky won’t be apart for long.
This will loosely follow the plot of TFATWS - so spoilers ahead, specially regarding episode six (finale). Thread carefully!
masterlist | AO3
notes: thank you everyone for your patience with this chapter. I'm dropping this lil shortie so we can get the story moving. Let's go!
(warnings: lil' fluff, lil' angst) (word count: 3K)
nine: records
Bucky knocked on your door a few weeks later.
It was late, and you were snug in your pajamas, winding down after a long day. With your identity no longer a secret, the government was in the midst of transferring you to something more… hands-on, and definitely less diplomatic, you were assuming; so much for retirement, but you figured 30 years of it had been more time than you could’ve anticipated.
You almost didn’t hear the soft rapping on wood over Vera Lynn’s mellow singing.
When you finally opened it, you found him standing there, wearing tired eyes and a dark coat. “I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but I started walking and I—"
“When I said you’re welcome anytime, Bucky Barnes, I meant any time.”
A tiny fraction of a smile was offered your way, and you grasped it tight against your heart at the same time you do his hand, pulling him inside.
His fingers lingered on yours, but before you could start thinking about it he pulled away, taking a seat at the edge of your couch. “I finished it. The book.”
Bucky answered your question before you could ask it. “I just came from there. The last one– the last name.”
“Well. Are you alright?” You sat next to him, your knee knocking against his, and his gaze went from the floor, to the spot where your legs touched, and then to you. He knitted his eyebrows, seeming a little incredulous you were even asking.
“I will be.” His hands intertwined on the space between his knees, and you placed a hand ton his shoulder, getting him to look at you again.
“Yes, you will. Do you want to talk about it?”
One corner of Bucky’s lip raised up, and he shook his head. “Is that Vera Lynn?”
You smiled, turning to look at your record player as if Vera herself was sitting next to it. “It is. Takes me back, I guess.”
“It’s all we’d listen to at the front.”
Nodding, you wondered for a second if Bucky remembered dancing to We’ll Meet Again the night before he was shipped off. Even if you weren’t the only girl he had danced with then, you still asked yourself if that memory was burned on his mind as it was on yours.
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when. A short-term promise, made back then by hopeful lovers, friends, family members; you had no idea that those lyrics would prove themselves so literal when you and Bucky mouthed them at each other in the middle of a dancefloor.
You let out a breathy chuckle, standing up and beckoning him to where you kept the rest of your vinyl. “Come on. Vera’s starting to feel a little too nostalgic to me.”
Your record collection was pretty extensive, ranging from things of the good ol’ days from the special editions that were still being released nowadays. Bucky joined you on the floor, and together you started to make your way through decades eternized in discs.
“Marvin Gaye.”
You look up from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust, finding Bucky making a face at the album he was holding. “It’s really good. Do you want to—”
“No. No more Marvin Gaye.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “You don’t like him?”
“I like Marvin Gaye! Jesus. Marvin is good—Marvin’s jus’ fine,” Bucky rubbed his eyes with his thumb and middle finger, and you finally understood.
“Sam’s been preaching you the word of R&B to you too, huh?”
You giggled at the tired look he gave you and silently took Trouble Man out of his hands, stuffing it back with the rest of the 1970’s.
Years ago, Bucky would be delighted to dive headfirst in the new – your trips to countless science fairs and expositions were enough proof of that – but looking at him now, knowing him as you were starting to once again, you figured that just a dip of the toes was more than enough.
You pulled Frank Sinatra from the 1950’s section.
“I know Sinatra.”
“Do you now?”
You put the record on your player, and Vera Lynn’s longing gave way to Sinatra’s swagger and jazz.
“Do you?” Bucky teased, frowning at the most recent items in your collection. As soon as Frank’s voice filled the silence, he nodded. “Yeah, that’s nice.”
“I do know him! Or did. Met ‘im in 1962.” You plopped next to Bucky, who was shaking his head. “What?”
“Show off.”
“No, just been around. Met people on the way. And, you asked.” Your smirk grew into a grin as Bucky mouthed your words back at you. Then his face fell for a second, and your amusement was quickly replaced by worry. “What is it?”
“Nothing, I guess – I guess I just missed a lot.” The same way one of the corners of his lips tug on his cheek again in his attempt of a smile, melancholy tugs at your heartstrings. “I missed out on everything. And I missed out on you.”
Bucky’s head was low as he spoke and you could see the tremble of his hands, even though he clutched one of your records tightly. Nina Simone, 1960’s.
“M’not going anywhere, you know.”
“You still lived an entire lifetime—”
“I did, yes, thank you for constantly reminding me that I’m over 100 years old.” You shook your head at him, sighing softly when he chuckled.
You couldn’t blame him, for clinging to every bit of past he’d missed while he was in HYDRA’s clutches – you knew that was inevitable, but you wished that such sorrow wasn’t so related to you.
“What are you doin’?” He asked as you summoned a small stool from the side of your shelf and stepped on it.
“I want to show you somethin’.” The thing you were looking for was stored at the very top: a heavy, brown leather suitcase that almost made you lose your balance when you pulled it from the spot it had been sitting in for—honestly, years, many of them.
The contents of the suitcase rattled as you climbed down and sat next to Bucky again. Sinatra still playing, telling his lover I've got you under my skin, I've got you, deep in the heart of me;
You almost laughed from the truth and irony of it.
I'd tried so, not to give in
I said to myself this affair never will go so well
You unlocked the suitcase, revealing the gathered memories inside. Pictures, movie tickets, theater playbooks, receipts, trinkets. All souvenirs of the 80 something years of your life Bucky hadn’t been there to see.
Not organized in the slightest, the keepsakes of your life were tossed together and out of order just as in your memory: photographs of you in uniform, and sometimes in party dresses; of when you bought your house; of the few times you had pets. Posing next to famous people and other important ones whose names weren’t as well known by the world.
As you and Bucky went through each of them, you added a story or an explanation, sometimes both, to fill him in on the details of your life events. He laughed at some, frowned at a lot, stared at you intently for all of them.
“Is this Berlin?”
You hummed, nodding. “1989. That party was great.”
“Party?” Bucky knitted his eyebrows in surprise.
“The city was unified, the wall was being taken down, and everyone was celebrating. I’ve never seen that many bottles of vodka in one place.” You laughed, taking a good look at yourself in the picture.
The 80’s were definitely not your best decade, looks wise. You had tried a perm the year before, and the poodle look was only then starting to dial down. The beginnings of a bruise were starting to creep on your left eye, from the mission you had completed just a few hours before.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk.”
Bucky’s surprise intensified, his eyes wide. “We can’t get drunk.”
“Yes we can.”
“No, no we can’t.”
“We can, in fact. It’s all a matter of quantity and, well, speed.” You giggled as Bucky’s mouth gaped more.
“And the hangover?”
“Horrible. Like getting shot on the forehead. Comes quickly, too.”
He grimaced, and with one last look – certainly to register your peculiar appearance on his mind – gently put the picture back inside the suitcase. A stack of papers seemed to call out to him and he picked it up, releasing them from the band that held them together carefully.
Postcards of the places you’ve been: a small note to James Barnes and Steve Rogers on the back of each one.
Bucky’s voice faltered. He let out an anguished little sound, probably something that was supposed to be an Oh, or a What, but had no strength to crawl up his throat.
You brought your knees to your chest as you waited for him.
“You—you wrote to us?”
“I did. You can keep those, they’re addressed to you.”
After all this time, you could barely remember the words you wrote in those postcards; all you knew was that some had longer messages, others a simple Wish you were here.
“After we met in Baltimore, I thought that— that you’d have moved on from us.”
From me.
As if that was possible.
“Well, I stopped writing by 2003, give or take. But really,” You sighed. “It’s hard to forget someone when you’ve always been expecting them to come back to you.”
Bucky flipped the postcard from Rome, read the writing and smiled wistfully at it. “And, I did.”
“You did. And staying away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but—”
“But you’re annoyingly stubborn.” His jaw tightened, then relaxed when he smirked. “I mean, I get it – If the roles were reversed, I’d leave you rebuild your life without me like a self-sacrificing idiot too.”
Alright. That was fair.
Shaking your head, you watched as he slipped the postcards in his pocket, an amused expression on his face.
“That was… a big mistake. Something a self-sacrificing idiot would do,” You screwed your eyes shut in shame, opening them when Bucky chuckled. “but now, I’m right here. And so are you.”
His stubble scratched the soft skin of your palm when you reached for him, and you continued. “We’re a little out of place in this century, that much is true, but if I’m being honest… I’m getting tired of yearning for the past, Buck.”
Good old times – sometimes really good, sometimes bad, every one of them old – tucked away in your heart like your records were tucked in neatly in their shelf, organized by year. As you went through the decades, your enhanced body eternizing you like marble, your heart seemingly stayed at that army camp overseas. Or maybe Sergeant Bucky Barnes had taken it with him, only for them to be frozen together, leaving you with an empty hole in your chest.
You lived your life longing for that missing piece, the one with blue eyes and the dashing smile and the skilled feet.
The one that in many other stories was the one that got away, the one who now believed he was somebody else, but had brought your heart back with him all the same.
The very heart that nearly leapt out of your chest when Bucky rested his forehead against yours.
You’ve never been this close – there isn’t an ounce of past in the gesture. His eyes being tightly closed kept him from seeing the surprise on your eyes and then how they fell to his lips for a millisecond. Then, those lips brushed against yours in a featherlike touch.
I would sacrifice anything, come what might
For the sake of having you near
He pried himself off you when you exhaled, as if your very breath had electrocuted him.
“M’sorry. I—I didn’t—” He said as you stared at the back of his neck, and the shock gives way to disappointment.
I didn’t mean to. Or maybe: I didn’t want to.
“That’s—it’s okay.” You clapped your hands on your knees, still feeling the prickle of his facial hair on them, and got up to change the music.
There was no doubt Bucky was touch starved, and that he probably craved the closeness that comes with a lover. He sought that for a fleeting second in Sam’s sister, and now in you. No point in dwelling on what it might have meant.
Right?
Looking at Bucky, his expression was overcast, furrowed eyebrows as he watched you from his spot on the floor. You offered him a gentle smile, and the crease on his forehead eased up slightly.
Right.
Don't you know little fool, you never can win
The record player made a scratching sound as you replaced Frank Sinatra with your go-to jazz compilation. Instrumental.
No lyrics.
There was one thing you’ve always been good at, regarding the infatuation with Bucky Barnes that has taken over your heart for almost a century now: locking the feelings away and stepping into the shoes of the best friend.
Besides, you’ve said it yourself: no more yearning for the past. Hopefully you and Bucky would be able to do that soon enough.
At that moment, however, you needed to feel the burn of whiskey down your throat and pretend it’ll heal the calcinating rejection spreading through your chest.
The guilt you found in Bucky’s eyes as he watched you sweep around your hardwood floors made you pour a glass for him.
He took it gratefully, frowning when you bottomed the whole thing up.
“There’s a lot in here.” He tapped the edge of the suitcase, skillfully steering the conversation in the direction of the more palatable, calm territory it was in before.
The sight of your autobiographical collection made you smile.
“An entire lifetime,” You said, fishing your dog tags from the bottom. “I suppose that’s where it started. Or at least, where thisstarted.”
Bucky took them reverentially, running his thumb over the imprint of your name and numbers.
He reached for his neck, producing from under his Henley the same type of metal chain he was holding in his hands. The fact that he still wore his like that sent a sharp blow to your lungs, almost knocking the air out of you.
His face softened, a smile so beautiful spreading across his lips, so much that your chest clenched in protest because it was simply not fair, how he still had you entirely.
He deposited both of your dog tags in your hands, and that’s when you saw it, and remembered it.
“Won’t we get in trouble for this?”
“Do you care?”
“Well…No.” You sighed, already resigned. And a little excited.
Bucky knew you well: it had been too long of being a good little soldier when all you were used to was the rush of being a hellion.
“And that is why, sugar, that I’m doing this with you, and not with Steve.”
The words made your heart soar, but you were sure to recapture it before it could fly away too high, still too attached to the sensation of the take-off to clip its wings.
You liked flying.
“And because Steve hasn’t been successful in his enlisting efforts. Yet.”
Bucky looked at you from behind his eyebrows, a reprimand hiding in his eyes, but he decided to shove his uniform hat on your head instead. You grumbled, calling him a jerk under your breath.
It was the night before Bucky was drafted to England. He looked handsome in his uniform, a shining, polished star, brighter than the sun even under the dim streetlight you two stood under.
After bringing his and Steve’s dates home (yours was lost to another boxing match along the way – not that you were crying about that) Bucky had decided he was going to stay up all night, because, in his words, he could sleep when the war was over. Or, more realistically, in the ship on the way to England.
So there you two were, illuminated by street lamps and moonlight, visiting the façades and front windows of your favorite places in Brooklyn like drifters in the night.
Bucky still concentrated on his task, his shoulder hunched slightly to block your sight.
“Let me see! Bucky!”
“ ’Sposed to be a surprise! I’m almost done.”
You huffed, crossing your arms. “It’s not like I haven’t seen ‘em before.”
“You gotta be more patient. Here.”
He dropped your dog tags on your hand. You displayed the small steel plates on your palm, scanning your eyes over the two. One of them, of course, had your name, number, blood type, next of kin – an aunt you’ve never met – and address.
The other had Bucky’s.
James B Barnes. 32557038.
He slipped his own chain over his head, the plate with your name clinking against his.
You brought the tips of your fingers to your lips, feeling a smile begin to form onto them.
“I forgot we did this. I haven’t looked at these in so long.”
You had stopped wearing your dog tags the day the war had ended – Bucky was gone then, Steve too, and the weight of his dog tags slamming against your chest was too much to bear – your heart was already heavy with its own engraving of their memories.
“Steve had a lecture prepared when he gave mine back.” Bucky chuckled when you looked up at him, incredulous.
You shook your head, half exasperated and half amused. “Good grief, Steve.”
“Y’know how he is. Was,” He trailed, lips twitching as they formed a thin line.
You reached for him, your hand hovering in the space between you for a second before Bucky took it, lacing your fingers. Scooting closer, you let your cheek rest on his shoulder.
“He’d be glad we’re reunited.” You said, raising your head to peek at him and the newfound upwards curl of his lip. “And mortified we’re still bickering.”
Bucky smiled and squeezed your hand. “Old people. Old habits.”
Laughter bubbled out of your chest, and you realized a few things.
In that moment, it didn’t matter – the heartache, the unrequited side of your love. It was just a fact, a fact of life, of your life, that you a lot of the times loved him as more than your best friend. You loved him. And that was the core of it, the most important fact.
And you knew he loved you – you had each other – in this big, ever-changing, modern world, you had Bucky and Bucky had you.
You sat in comfortable, familiar silence until your eyelids grew heavy and you felt yourself drifting in and out of consciousness.
“You dozin’ on me, sugar?”
“It’s been a long day.” You said with your eyes still closed, feeling him chuckle beside you.
“Tell me about it. I can go—”
“You know damn well you should stay.” You patted his arm and hoisted yourself up from the floor. “I’ll get the pull-up ready for you.”
As you sauntered towards the office, ignoring his pleads and protests that he’s got it, he doesn’t need sheets or anything, you put your dog tags back on.
They jingled lightly against your heart.
Maybe you didn’t have to leave all of the past behind to start building something good and new, after all.
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YAYYYY your asks are finally open!!! hi hi im the anon may i ask for a hwasa one shot wherein reader is courting hwasa but hwasa doesn't find fem! reader attractive. after one date, hwasa decides that reader isnt really her type which r is bummed about but respects her decision. however, one day hwasa finds r's genuine character and somehow, she falls for r's charms uwu angst to big big fluff please! sorry this is long :3 i really like tropes like this thank youuu!
Just One
(I realized writing hurt/comfort stuff soothes my soul a lot. Probably because I like making it hurt and then I feel bad and try to make it warm and fluffy so no worries. Longer requests help me with plotting out the story.
Edit: Sorry this took longer than expected, I just started my first day of work again and guess who is now a barista? Also Wheein’s solo album just dropped today so go give it a listen ya’ll)
Word count: About 2.4k
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Ahn Hye Jin is a goddess. Everyone who has seen her either loves her, or hate her because they want to be her. With beauty, fame and charisma that goes off the charts, who could blame when you were to be drawn in like a moth to the light? Of course given the opportunity, you chose to chase after her disregarding the fact there were probably many others like you. It was a chance given, and it would be foolish not to grab at it. Be it getting your manager to buy her favorite drinks so you can drop it off for her whenever she was at the company practicing, leaving little notes with a container of food for her to heat up when she stays back for more practicing on her own or even occasionally popping by the studio when you had some free time off your schedules, you did you best to let your presence be known to her. Management didn't know of your crush, brushing it off as admiration for your senior whose group literally built up the company, and you'd prefer for it to stay that way lest you get kicked out barely a year into debuting. Hyejin however, knew of your intentions. You've made it clear to her when you gathered up the courage to manage to stammer out a "I like you." Before you could hear whoops from Wheein and feel the stares coming from the other two older members directed at you.
Over time, you've managed to also worm your way into the rest's hearts as they realized how pure your intentions were, and how far you'd go to try take care of their strong-headed maknae. Seeing as to how Hyejin has never properly rejected you, they slowly started putting in words for you whenever they spot your gifts for her, planting what they'd hope to be the seeds that will help make their youngest happier. It started from "Look at how thoughtful she is!" To “Hey look, guess who dropped by again today~?” Each time, she would only smile and wave away at her member’s teasing as she accept her gifts with a smile.
The small interactions with Hyejin and the rest of her members were great as you slowly got to know them more, just as friends. Sharing jokes and they would sometimes even invite you up for a meal together. It wasn’t until a few weeks later of skirting around your very obvious infatuation with Hyejin did you actually put up your mind to do something. Nodding to yourself, you gathered up the courage and knocked on the door. Cheers were heard from inside and as routine, Hyejin came to the door to open it for you. Passing over her drink with a smile, she stood waiting accepted it with a small chuckle and thanks. Right before she turned away, you called out to her. Looking back at you questioningly, you took a few deep breath to try settle your pounding heart. “One date. Just give me one date. I’ll show you that I’m serious.” You could see her eyes widen in surprise and slowly cover her mouth with her hand. You shift nervously, not daring to break the eye contact. She was the one who looked away first and her gaze fell to the ground, seemingly deep in thought. Noticing the longer than usual interaction, the rest of the members curiously peeked over one another to observe the situation. Putting the pieces together, Wheein shared glances with the older members and back to her best friend and voiced out her thoughts. “Why don’t you give it a shot?” Slowly looking over to her, Hyejin studied her expression, followed by the encouraging looks Moonbyul and Yongsun was giving before going back to her own thoughts for a bit longer. All the while you stood, head slowly lowering, feeling your throat and chest slowly coiling and tightening on themselves while you prepare yourself for the rejection incoming. “So what do you have in mind?” Snapping your head up, you find her staring right at you. You could almost hear your own heartbeat as you let out a breath you didn’t even notice you were holding. Glancing past her, you see the enthusiastic nodding and thumbs up given to you by the rest of her members and you pulled out your phone. “I’ll text you the details?”
As far as records go, the company only saw this meet up as a nice meal between a member of their top girl group and their solo artist. You’ve managed to book a small table at a café that you were introduced by a few friends. It was a cozy little place near an alleyway, just a little out of the way of where the crowd would usually go. Settling down in the corner, you were both handed a small menu. Skimming over, you decided to place an order of a cup of coffee and a macaron for a sweet treat. Hyejin took a little longer to look through the menu but also ended up with just a cup of coffee. There was an awkward tension in the air as you constantly try to find topics to speak about to engage the woman sitting opposite of you when all you could get in reply was a few words in reply. With a smile, you could only nod and let the silence blanket the both of you as your drinks and snack came. Every time you looked up from sipping your drink, you could see her silently in her own thoughts and decided not to bother her lest she finds you annoying. It was when you were on the last few sips of your drinks did Hyejin finally speak up.
“I don’t want to be harsh but I don’t think we’d go well together.”
The words echoed in your head as they processed into what she was trying to say. You swallowed down the harsh reality that hit you right in your chest and nodded with a small understanding smile. “Thank you for at least giving me a chance, and of course, being honest with me.” Nodding back, Hyejin went back to sipping her drink as the silence once again settled between the both of you, this time for you to quietly nurse your heart. Setting down the empty cups, the both of your stood as you pulled out your phone and texted your manager to pick the both of you up. While waiting outside the café, Hyejin couldn’t bring herself to look at you. A part of her felt that she had led you on, despite it just being that she couldn’t understand of her own feelings. To make everything simpler for everyone, the best choice would be to reject and ignore it. A hand coming towards her in the corner of her eye surprised her, and with that she finally look at you again. “Friends?” Raising your eyebrow, you silently prayed that whatever happened wouldn’t ruin whatever relationship you had between her and her members. “Friends.” Raising her hand to shake yours, a smile bloomed across her face in relief that you held no anger towards her.
You understood that it will definitely take time to get over the fact that you had a crush on Hyejin, so you chose not to avoid it. Instead, you faced the rejection straight on, and went up to Mamamoo’s studio even more often to interact more with everyone whenever you had the time. Every now and again, you’d also have a member or two pop up in your studio to join in the chaos, much so adding up to your manager’s headache of trying to keep your appearance as an idol intact, knowing well fully that the random moments you shared with the group would most likely air out as update episodes in your mini vlog series. It took a while to realize that by taking a step back from pursuing Hyejin, that you got so much more closer to her. The awkwardness melted away and what was left was a healthy friendship.
It also took a while for Hyejin to realized how much more she had been looking to spend time with you. Or that the increasing number of comments in your vlog series were commenting on how much and fondly she looked at you. It became almost a daily thing to exchange greetings from dawn and annoy one another through text till dusk fell. It got to the point where whenever her phone’s notification rang, does she perk up and rush to it and if it was not a reply from you, she would falter and according to Wheein, “Look like a kicked puppy.” If you had a schedule when she was free, she sometimes tag along with an excuse to keep you company but if you could see her behind all the staff, you’d notice her intense gaze as she studies you. The way you moved, the way you laughed, and even to the way your chest rise and fall as you breathed. Part of her knew what was happening, but she refused to act upon it. It wasn’t fair that you were the one who risked your career to chase her only for her to reject you, and now suddenly changing her mind. You on the other hand didn’t seem to notice all the extra attention you were getting from her and it annoyed Hyejin to a certain extend. She wanted the smiles you gave to everyone directed to only her. She wanted the jokes you shared and the laughter you gave to just be shared between you two.
It drove her crazy, the more she explored her feelings for you. It made her feel things that scared her. Scenarios would appear in her head as she watches you interact with others. Your words would race through her mind as she goes about her day. Images and memories of your gifts and notes pulled on her heartstrings. Maybe. Hyejin silently thinks to herself. Just maybe, I might be crazy. Chuckling to herself as she stopped in front of a set of doors, she sighed. That’s still better than letting someone else hold you, right? Looking up at the sign that stated the opening hours, she pulled out her phone to do a quick check of the time and pushed open to step through the set of doors.
The bass vibrated throughout the entire room as music boomed from the speakers in the practice room. Your eyes were trained upon your form as you connected each movement of your body to flow with the beat of the music. Seeing how focused you were on perfecting the dance routine, your manager could only sigh in failed attempt of trying to make you promise to not overwork yourself when your comeback was right around the corner before leaving for the night. At some point through the evening, you had shed your hoodie, leaving you in a cooling sports bra and sweat pants. Despite the lesser layers, you were drenched in sweat, and your hair had fallen from their ponytail, leaving them sticking uncomfortably to your face and body. Your body cried out in exhaustion as you slowed to a halt along with the music and panted to catch your breath. Slowly pushing yourself upright again, you groaned, body resisting the idea of one last run through of the routine. Right as you were about to hit the play button on your phone again, the soundproofed door of your studio swung open.
Your squeak echoed the room and your eyes darted up and widened in surprise to meet hers through the mirror’s reflection. It took a second for your body and brain to relax when you realized that the intruder meant no harm when you noticed both her hands were occupied. Slowly turning and walking over to the back of the studio where she had moved from the door, you look at Hyejin questioningly before your gaze dropped to the contents in her hands. Instead of putting it down onto the table, she waited for you to walk over to her to pass you the warm cup of coffee and a paper bag. Carefully hold the cup in one hand, you opened the bag to see a lone macaron sitting inside. A wide smile bloomed on your face when your body understood that the sweet treat was a form of energy for you to function and you eagerly pushed it up the bag to take the first bite. You then remembered the very person that delivered it to you and with your mouth full, you could only smile even wider to her as you closed your eyes in bliss as the sugary snack awoke your senses again.
“One date.”
Your eyes snap open as your jaw stopped its movement.
“One date. Just give me one date. I’ll show you I’m worth your time.”
Your smile slowly dropped as you processed what you just heard. Looking back down at the bag and the cup of drink, you recognized the name imprinted on its sides. It was from the very café you two went to on your first and last date. Forcing yourself to look busy by continuing to slowly chewing the one bite in your mouth, you subtly turned your head towards the mirror to look at the woman, not daring to risk eye contact by looking directly at her. Even from the mirror, you could see her intense gaze, as she fidgeted her hands behind her, anxiously waiting for your answer.
“So? What do you say?”
Swallowing the now mushy mess in your mouth, you slowly looked right back at her. Lifting the drink to your lips and taking a small sip, you looked for traces of this encounter merely being a bad joke of the rejection you faced at her hand a few months ago. When you could find none, you slowly lowered the drink and sighed. Even at such mundane actions, you could see her tense up in anticipation.
You chuckle suddenly, breaking the silence and causing Hyejin to flinch. That in return made you chuckle even harder when her look of confusion and surprise slowly melt away as your laughter went on. Finally taking a breath to stop, you smiled and answered her.
“I was hoping it will be more than just one.”
#mamamoo imagines#hwasa imagines#hwasa x reader#I highkey give up on tagging properly#just look at my masterlist#hope yall enjoy
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