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#I wouldn’t have them working for me lol
papayadays · 2 days
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you’re doing it wrong
summary: lando x tennis player!reader - in which you’re fed up of your boyfriend playing padel - 1.7k words
a/n: as a tennis girly, pickleball and padel for me are triggers lol (i’m joking), but fr though, i love this! also i use a babolat pure aero if anyone was wondering (no one will, but whatever lmao)
warnings: none, just fluff
smau + real life
face claim: emma raducanu bc yes
y/nl/ntennis
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y/nl/ntennis enjoying break, ready to be back in rome! 🧡 📸 landonorris
liked by wta, landonorris, and 7,138 others
big3stan so ready for rome open tbh, can’t wait for her to win!
liked by y/nl/ntennis
y/ntennis lmao not the evian ad
wtagirly ikr at least our girl’s making cash while playing piano
landonorris i feel neglected
y/nl/ntennis i was going to post you but then SOMEONE decided to play padel
gamesetace standing up for tennis 🙌 what a queen
papayagoals aww i love the orange heart for lando, y/n is  glowing!
liked by y/nl/ntennis
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you stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. “since when did you want to start playing tennis?” you questioned with narrowed eyes, dubious.
“well,” lando started, scratching his neck. “mclaren saw your post, and then after the interview, they want to film a video of you and me playing tennis.” you rolled your eyes playfully at him.
“i knew you wouldn’t want to play voluntarily,” you scoffed. “you and your stupid padel. what’s next, pickleball?”
lando placed a hand over his heart. “wow, y/n, words hurt,” he pouted.
“truth hurts,” you deadpanned. “c’mon, why are playing everything except my favorite sport?” frowning, you gave him puppy eyes.
“ugh, fine,” lando sighed, caving like you knew he would. “i’ll try to enjoy it. you’re lucky i love you.” you clapped your hands together happily.
“then we need to pick out outfits!” you cheered, making lando groan. “oh shush, you dress all fancy for golf. hell, you even made a golf quadrant line.” that shut him up.
you picked out some of his golf clothes that were suitable for tennis, and then you changed into a nike set of a top and shorts since they were your sponsor. you tossed lando a hat and grabbed a visor after putting your hair up into your signature braid.
as you grinned in the mirror, lando leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek. “i love you in your tennis outfits,” he smiled.
when your mouth curled up into a smirk, he realized his mistake. “well, if you played tennis with me more often, you’d get to see it more,” you responded.
“i set myself up for that one, didn’t i, love?” lando muttered, pecking your lips. you gave him an innocent shrug, as if you had no clue what he was talking about.
“anyways,” you said, grabbing your babolat bag and tying your nike sneakers. “let’s go. don’t want to keep mclaren waiting.”
«⁂»
when you arrived at the courts, you beamed at the filming crew. “wow, i love these courts, mclaren chose well,” you gushed.
“thanks,” the cameraman nodded. “i’m luke, and that’s bill.” you nodded at them, shaking their hands. after, they turned on the camera, not wanting to miss a single moment.
“it’s a lovely day,” you smiled. “perfect conditions, nice hard courts, what more can you ask for?”
lando snorted. “barely five minutes in and y/n has already started geeking out,” he commented, facing the camera.
“as if you wouldn’t geek out if someone mentions f1,” you retorted, playfully swatting his arm as you took out your racquet, a babolat pure aero. you handed your boyfriend one of your many racquets as he scrunched his nose up in disdain.
“do i have to use the same as yours?” lando frowned, making you roll your eyes.
“yes, your majesty,” you replied sarcastically. “it’s the only model i have because that’s how tennis works.”
“damn, no need to come at me, sweetheart,” lando responded evenly, a sweet smile on his face. you scoffed, a smile faintly on your lips. he knew that you couldn’t stay mad with that pet name.
“okay, so let’s warm up first,” you explained to the camera. “i do some jumping jacks, high knees, side shuffles, karaoke step, and some footwork drills as well as stretching out my upper body.” you pointed at lando. “follow what i do.”
“yeah, yeah, boss me around, why don’t you,” he mumbled, but a mischievous grin stayed on his face.
first, you did some jumping jacks, high knees, and light cardio exercises. then, you turned around and faced the net as you side shuffled. “lando, c’mon,” you sighed as you turned back, seeing his gaze snap up to meet your eyes, a light blush tinged on his cheeks as he gave you a smug look, knowing damn well what he was doing. from one doubles sideline to the other, you two side shuffled before transitioning into karaoke step. “here, i’ll go slow, lan. follow me, and don’t fall.” you slowly stepped over, letting lando copy you before speeding up.
“how?” lando asked, shocked. “you don’t fall over?”
“tennis players need really good footwork,” you told him, stretching out your arms and back. “alright, i think we’re ready to start with half-court.” you picked up your racquet, grabbing a ball and bouncing it on the strings.
“wait,” lando said to luke. “can you pause real quick, mate?” you gave him a confused look as he leaned down towards you, eyes wide with anxiousness. “promise you won’t judge me or anything if i’m really bad.” then it all clicked for you.
“so that’s why you won’t play with me?” you asked, expression softening at his genuine fear.
“i- yeah,” lando nodded, seeing no point in denying it. “i know how much love tennis, but if i’m really bad, i dunno, i just thought that maybe you’ll see me differently.”
“aww, baby,” you cooed, resting your hand on your boyfriend’s cheek. “i’ll love you no matter what. you could be the worst tennis player in the world and i’d still love you. and you’ll do great. tennis is a hard sport, so obviously no one can get it on the first try. but i love you, lan. not how well you hit balls.” he raised an eyebrow at your wording, but leaned into your touch.
“thanks, y/n,” he smiled, pecking your lips. “i love you more.” he turned back to the camera crew only for his jaw to drop in utter shock. “you were recording the whole time?” your hand flew to your mouth, laughter erupting as you watched lando’s eyes widen in panic.
“babe, they- i can’t believe it,” you wheezed, clutching your stomach. “oh my god, this is amazing.”
“now the whole freaking world is going to know what just happened,” lando whispered, glaring at your laughter. “whatever, let’s just play.”
you showed lando the basics: forehand, backhand, and the motions, guiding him through it. his cheeks were pink from your constant grip on his arm, showing him the swing. soon, he was able to get the tennis balls over the net. “that’s it, lan!” you cheered as he hit another one over. “now we can rally.”
you walked to the other side, gently feeding a half court forehand. you watched as he hit it back, a proud smile on your face as you hit a backhand, careful not to put spin on it. “hey, i think i got the hang of this,” lando grinned before promptly hitting the ball into the net. “dammit, i jinxed it.”
“don’t worry,” you smiled. “let’s go full court now.” the two of you hit a few, lando picking the skills up very quickly. you showed him your serve and decided to use more force, smirking as the ball sailed past him.
while you two took a water break, luke and bill told you that mclaren had also gotten a ball machine, making your face brighten. “really?” you exclaimed. “that’s perfect!”
you brought the machine out, setting it up before you stood on the opposite side of the net, bouncing on your toes. it fed out balls as you hit them with your full match-level power, lando’s eyes widening at the speed. after the machine ran out of balls, you headed back to them, wiping the sweat of your face with a sweatband.
“babe, that was incredible,” lando told you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “how do you hit it so fast?”
“training,” you deadpanned. “now, you think you had enough for today?” lando gave you a nod.
“yeah, today was nice, as much as i hate- ow! i mean, as much as i love to admit that you’re right, tennis was actually pretty cool,” he answered, rubbing the spot on his ribs where you had elbowed him. “maybe we’ll have to play again sometime soon.” your mouth stretched into a victorious grin as you turned to the camera.
“you heard it right here, everyone,” you said with a smug expression. “lando norris is a tennis fan now. thanks to mclaren for doing this, and hopefully see you next time!”
“that’s a wrap!” bill nodded as you started packing your things up.
“thanks for giving it a try,” you beamed at lando. “it means a lot.”
“you’re welcome,” lando replied with a cheeky grin. “also, i’ve decided. i’m going to watch you in rome. i mean, i’ll be in imola for the race anyways, so i can be there.” your face brightened.
“you mean it?” when he nodded, you pumped your fist. “it’s been so long since you’ve come to one of my matches. ooh, i need to introduce you to everyone. thanks, lan.” you slipped your hand in his, smiling as you walked back
y/nl/ntennis
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y/nl/ntennis we did it!! landonorris has been converted into a tennis fan 💞 new mclaren video spilling the details 🤭
liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 9,625 others
landonorris yeah yeah 💖💖
lanpastry pls they’re so cute 🤧
mclaren thank you for the content! 🧡
y/nfan OMG THE VIDEO GUYS, IT’S TOO CUTE
papayaorange that sweet moment was too much, i’m sleeping on the highway tonight
formulerone and not lando getting exposed by mclaren - “you were recording the whole time?”
landynando lando actually playing tennis was not on my bingo card
forzafans NOT THE LAST PIC HELP 💀
wimbledumb REAL LIKE BRO TOOK THE PADEL PERSONALLY
wta  new tennis power couple?
novakthegoat wta what are you doing here 😭😭
y/nl/ntennis lmao i wish, alex and katie would have nothing on us
katiecboulter oh really? are you sure about that?
cocogauff aww cute 😍
landonorris help y/n i don’t know anyone
y/nl/ntennis oh my god do you not watch tennis at all?
landonorris no? who do you think i am? i only watch your matches 🫶
y/nl/ntennis baby steps ig ily lan 🧡
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omaano · 2 days
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SW Hades AU Status Update
I wanted to make a dedicated post about what I’m currently working on for the Star Wars meets Hades AU that looks more consistent than just sharing bits and pieces whenever I’m tagged in a Last Line Challenge. Because what else do I have but the poly sketch requests and this AU for my weekends? (If nothing else I know that the Hades AU has got me XD)
For now Obi-Wan and Maul are stuck at the same stage: they are both lined, have their base colours down as well as the two adjustment layers of coloured lighting.
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I suspect if I were ever to get through the agonozing few hours of shading Obi-wan’s face it would be mostly smooth sailing from there. The problem is that there are at least 2 - if not 3 - separate stages where the shaded face looks like I have no idea what I’m doing, and you need to get through the whole thing before it really comes together 😅 on the other hand Hades 2 has a lot of the directional shading I might need for his character art so that might help to get me there.
It also needs to be said that Obi-Wan comes with the extra disadvantage that is the entire background behind him. I’m really hyped to line it finally, it is quite a challenge, but at the same time I’m slowly coming to the realization that I have no idea how I will colour it. Hades backgrounds are so so pretty and full of details and gorgeous colours, and while I’m not delusional enough to think I could match that on first try… I still wish I could, you know? At the same time I will have to erase or recolour a lot of my lines, which will hurt quite a bit, I imagine. I’m so bad at killing my darlings 😅 also I hate laying down flat colours. I just find it very difficult to immerse myself in that process, while lining and shading can have their flow.
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I had covered up so many lines and details in Maul’s spider parts it’s a miracle I didn’t cry XD However, tips on grouping my shadows and allowing the shape to speak for itself and the details in them are very helpful and on point.
Worrying over writing dialogue for them is also not as far down my to-do list as I wish it were. I have a good enough idea for a quip for Obi-wan, but Maul? He’d need a whole melodramatic rant of his own XD
Aphra has gotten some new lines and I had fixed the satchel I had forgotten the last time I shared the rough sketch for her, thanks to the new character art for Hades 2! Seeing Odysseus and Hermès’s updated looks were great helps here, so I might as well move on to lining her, and finally adding another female character to the roster on top of Ahsoka!
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And then there is the biggest update on these little guys below! I will need to clean up the ones I had drawn for Cobb and Boba (and Din) well over a year ago, but with these my version of chtonic companions are done, and thanks to @lesquatrechevrons I have a full list of keepsakes for each character as well. I’m not very good at drawing these little tchotchkes (I say with Rex’s blaster right there LOL) but I hadn’t been very good at lineart or cell shading when I started this project either, so through forced practice I’m determined to change that :D
(It’s not a screwdriver under Boga, it’s one of Cody’s antennas. “It will grow back, don’t worry,” he says as he snaps it off his pauldron and hands it over to Din. Rex backs him up on that one without question. They can't lie for shit but trolling the shiny is their thing.)
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Additional fun fact: the reason why I’d picked up the chtonic companions concepts was because I’d been poking at minor details in the background behind Maul (aside from the Chaos doors), and I started adding credits and recoloured nectar to the corner (before I realized that they wouldn’t be visible once the character interaction comes up oops), and I tried to figure out to whose keepsakes Maul would react favorably. I also mixed up companion dolls and keepsakes, so that’s why the Ahsoka doll came to being (I also forgot that that one belongs to Rex, and not Ahsoka herself but uh… they are close enough that they should count by proxy anyway. It’s not Obi-wan’s cup of tea and that should be enough!). Also bless @mapleowl18 for suggesting Lil Soka as companion for Rex ❤️
So this is the current state of this AU project right now. I have my lists and notes, a few scribbled pose ideas in my sketchbook for Sabine (she might be next, unless Bo and her Nite Owls make a comeback), Satine and Omega (with Batcher), as well as some angry scribbles and question marks for Quinlan (who has apparently made his way back into this AU even though he didn’t get a little icon of his own originally orz), and Obi-wan The Second that would stand with Cody post reunion, but I cannot make that one work for now 😅
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scoonsalicious · 2 days
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6.3 Bucky
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language.
Word Count: 500
Previously On...: Lily tricked Bucky into going on a picnic date; they made plans for a "friend date" for later that evening.
A/N: Sorry this is late- I tried something new with the texts, but it took too long, so I don't know if I'll do it again, lol. Reminder: My break is starting today, so there will be no new updates until Thursday, May 23rd. I'm hoping to get a ton of writing done, but I won't leave you hanging for content, I promise!
If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
He was really hoping his plans with Lily would take his mind off of his fuckup with Major. He must have thought about calling her about seventy five thousand times, but each time he picked up his phone to dial her number, he saw her shrug in his mind’s eye when he asked if he could call her later. Lily may have been wrong about the reasoning, but what if she had been right about the gist of it– If Major really wanted him to call her, wouldn’t she have said so? It was driving Bucky crazy.
So, he agreed to a night out with Lily as a distraction. After their impromptu picnic, he’d walked her back to her car and they’d set back off to the Compound, where Bucky napped and took a shower. He was just deciding what to wear to dinner in a few hours when a text came through on his phone. He almost did a double take when he saw it was from Major.
Sugar: Can we talk?
Bucky’s heart sped up at the sight of her words. She wanted to talk. This was good, right? 
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Bucky bit his lip. Lily would understand if he had to cancel, right? He’d explained to her how much he liked Major, how upset he was when he thought he’d blown it with her. She’d get why it was so important for him to meet with Major tonight. They could do a raincheck on their friend-date.
Okay, she was putting the ball in his court. Bucky wracked his brain, trying to come up with an idea that would be spontaneous, but also romantic, so he could show her that he was serious about her, about making this thing between them work. An idea struck him suddenly, and though it wasn’t very original of him, all things considered, it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He was just going to need a few hours to get everything ready. Glancing at his phone, he realized he needed to get in gear; he didn’t have a lot of time, and there were things to do.
>> DROPPED A PIN
>> Meet me here at 7:30pm.
A few hours later, Bucky was doing his final set up preparations. He checked his phone– Major should be arriving any minute, and if he said he didn’t have butterflies in his stomach, he’d be lying. He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone buzzed with an incoming text, but it was just from Lily.
Shit. In his haste to get everything prepared for Major, Bucky had completely forgotten he’d made dinner plans with Lily. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
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It was a long moment before the three dots appeared on his screen, indicating Lily was typing.
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Bucky smiled at his phone, not sure why he had been so nervous about telling Lily he was dating Major in the first place. 
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
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syndullqs · 3 days
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 — 𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒉
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summary — a mission unlocks memories in your brain you’d rather forget. tech helps, in his own way.
warnings — gn!reader, angst, fluff, mentions of childhood trauma, hunter’s a prick
note — i heard this sound on tiktok and it unlocked a memory i did NOT want unlocked lol so enjoy this self indulgent piece
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𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐘. it’s funny how something as small as a child crying causes someone to fold in on themselves. you almost were shot because of it, and you definitely got an earful back on the marauder.
“what were you thinking? just standing there? you could’ve been killed!” hunter’s voice penetrated your clouded thoughts, scolding you for a poor job. he had a point; you were almost killed.
“but i wasn’t, hunter, so what’s the big deal?” you challenge, crossing your arms over your chest. what was next, was he going to question how you worked with the team? was he going to exclude you from future missions? you almost dared him.
“the big deal? y/n you nearly cost us the mission and you could have been killed,” he paused, taking a minute to think. though, given his next words, he should have taken more time to think, “i think you should sit out on the next mission,” his voice was still raised, breaths spilling from his mouth like he ran a marathon.
yet there it was.
exclusion.
“fine, it’s your call, you’re the sergeant,” your words were not short of being venomous, making hunter realize instantly what he just told you. you were a valuable asset to the batch, a sounding board, and he just told you to sit out.
there wasn’t a lot of places for you to go, so you sat in the co-pilot’s chair. you brought a knee up to your chest, resting your chin on it. the silence was comforting, but your mind still swam. hunter’s words, their words, the child crying…
“for the record, i don’t think you should sit out next mission,” tech was the first to speak, the softness and quietness of his voice illustrating just how unused to that he was. his words only earned a scoff from you.
“it was the child crying, no?” he guessed. tech noticed the shift in your demeanor when the child started crying to her mother, wondering why everyone left. you grew stiff, your eyes unfocused, and of course, you were nearly shot.
“what gave me away?” you asked him, still refusing to meet eyes with him. despite tech not being well-versed in comfort, he still knew how to read people. he could read them very well. interpreting those emotions was a different skill.
“the fact you were nearly shot, mainly,” he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “but also the way your demeanor changed. your shoulders tightened, your eyes widened. not to mention your voice changed,” he went on to describe just how much your body changed. you didn’t think he paid that much attention to you.
“i didn’t think it was that obvious,” you shrugged, taking your chin off of your knee. you slid your eyes over to meet his, the softness of them underneath his goggles provided an odd place of comfort for you. he didn’t judge you, he was merely stating facts.
“it was,” he felt heat rise to his cheeks, a feeling he logically knew was because of his attraction to you. emotionally, he wouldn’t acknowledge it.
“at least to me,” tech added softly, attempting to make the situation better than what it was. your eyes widened again, unsure of how to feel about this. ever since you started working with the bad batch, talking about emotional experiences was hard with tech. so you didn’t. hearing him acknowledge your feelings and talk about his own shocked you. it shouldn’t have.
“when i was a kid, i was bullied a lot,” you started, pulling down the wall you’ve built up over the years, “their form of bullying was excluding me from things. i was invited to parties, but never talked to. i was never played with, and kids made fun of me for the stuff i liked,” you continued. you’ve never spoken to any of them about this. it was too sensitive. the fear of rejection and judgement was too strong.
silence followed, filling the space between you. tech didn’t know what to say, but he knew that this was sensitive information. he knew that it was hard for you to talk about, and so he didn’t want to say anything to potentially make things worse.
“hearing that little girl cry, asking her mother where everyone went, it just…i don’t know. it was under different circumstances but still,” you were failing to understand why the moment froze you. hunter was right, you could have been killed.
“it was a different circumstance, but,” tech started, his words coming out slowly as he processed them, “your fight or flight kicked in. it’s human nature whenever we come in contact with something that’s upset us or, dare i say, traumatized us,” his eyes searched yours, trying to read the expression on your face. tech knew what it was like to be ostracized for the things you’re good at. he was a defective clone, he knew almost exactly what you felt.
“when…when i was a cadet, still on kamino, i wasn’t treated very kindly by the regs simply for being different. the words they said, even some of the things they did, it was not kind of them,” tech’s words marinated in your mind for a moment. you found yourself completely facing him, engrossed in the man in front of you. you finally found someone to relate to, that knew what it was like to be excluded and bullied. for once, you could breathe.
“you didn’t deserve that,”
“neither did you,” he agreed, his warm, brown eyes cradling yours. he came to the same realization you did. he wasn’t as alone as he thought he was. as much as he wished neither of you went through what you did, it brought you two together, and he was grateful for that.
“we do need to work on your fight, flight, or freeze response,” he lightened the mood. you smiled and laid back in your chair.
“i know i know,” you smiled. you didn’t catch it, but tech smiled too.
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here’s some tech! this was kind of self indulgent so i apologize for that, i still hope you enjoy though!
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plague-of-insomnia · 22 hours
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Ch 212: That Butler, Going South
Please respect the spoons (time and energy) and money I invested into this post. Do not use my content without credit.
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16 pages including the cover.
Basically, the chapter covers Sebastian and Ciel traveling by train to Brighton, discussing the servants’ missions as Ciel enjoys breakfast in the dining car.
(Remember that all the missions are happening simultaneously more or less, so Ciel doesn’t know how successful or not they all were.)
It’s actually quite brilliant of Yana and her team to time things like this. This chapter is a great way for fans who may have lapsed during the servant arcs to catch up again, or even for new fans lured in by the anime to get a taste of the manga.
It’s also interesting to see a how a some of the scenes mirror panels/moments from previous arcs.
For example, the shot of Sebastian and Ciel on the train together is akin to the end of the circus arc. (And admire how much her art has improved!)
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Later, we get a (shocking, to me, anyway) shot of Sebastian sitting at the table with Ciel as equals, reminiscent of when they ironed out the details of the contract.
The chapter begins with the two of them on the train in their first class compartment, en route to Brighton from Reading.
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Sebastian, ever the conscientious butler, notices the time and mentions breakfast, but Ciel is cautious: they’re fugitives, after all. Sebastian points out that most people wouldn’t expect a criminal to be casually taking a meal in the dining car. Seeing his point (and since Ciel is driven by his stomach lol), they go to have breakfast together.
They then discuss the servants’ missions and what they expect. For example, Ciel brings up the point that Lau can only be trusted so far, and he is the one who first brought their attention to the whole mess back in the Campania arc with Karstein Hospital. And he is a mafia boss.
But, both of them acknowledge that Bard is the smartest and most capable of the four servants (Bard, Mey, Finny, Snake), and that he managed to make it to the UK all the way from America alone. Plus, he’s trustworthy. Ciel points out that’s precisely why he paired them up. (Seeing them compliment my man 😭😭… Take that, Bard haters!)
They also discuss the mission Ran Mao and Mey are undergoing and ofc Snake and Finny. (I’m sorry but I’m tired and I don’t care as much about the other servants as Bard so I’m… not going into detail on their pages. Maybe tomorrow if I have time and spoons I’ll make an add-on to this going over those pages.)
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This panel is one of my fave moments in the chapter… it translates more or less like this:
Mey: For our lord
Bard: With pride
Snake: With my life on the line
Finny: I do the assigned work and see it through to the end
Despite initially being wary of leaving their compartment, when Sebastian suggests they leave the dining car, Ciel wants to stay and stretch his legs. It’s only a few hours to Brighton by train.
Looks like next week we’ll start the arc in earnest and maybe learn how they plan to infiltrate the hotel.
Please respect the spoons (time and energy) and money I invested into this post. Do not use my content without credit.
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madneywedding · 3 days
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Last anon I forgot but I also think quite fee que toy about buck meets the diazes lol this is me coming out as a fangirl for your writing
hi and also hello!! i'm gonna use this as my tease tidbit tuesday but really it's all for you :)
i was also tagged by @cal-daisies-and-briars, thank you 🥰
tagging @bewilderedbuck @captain-hen @loserdiaz @jeeyuns @shitouttabuck
@likegoldintheair @elvensorceress @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove
@daffi-990 :)
“I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”  “Ah — no, you’re good,” Buck says. “ I was just trying to calculate how much food I’d need to buy for this recipe. We’re, uh, we’re having a barbecue later this week. It’s actually for—”  “For your birthday, yes," Ramon murmurs. "Eddie told us earlier this morning.”  “Yeah,” Buck says, grinning. “Anyway, I told him we could cancel it, or reschedule, but he wouldn’t hear it. So now I’ve got to figure out how much shrimp I’ll need to feed twenty-seven people — or, I guess  it’s twenty-eight, now, since I know Abuela wouldn’t miss it for the world. I know Michael — Bobby’s wife’s ex-husband  — is trying to go vegan, and so is his son Harry, and I know Hen’s son is allergic to garlic, so I’ll have to check the potluck list and make sure that everyone else brings enough for them to eat. They’re going to need at least one entreé, plus a few appetizers and a couple of desserts that they’d want to eat, so I need to make sure we have it all on the spreadsheet. It’s, uh, it’s a lot of work, but…” Buck falters when he sees the look on Ramon’s face.  “You’re inviting your captain’s wife’s ex-husband?” Ramon asks, enunciating each word slowly, like he doesn’t fully understand what he’s hearing.  “They’re still friends,” Buck says hesitantly. “Besides — that’s how we work. At the 118, you know, we’re like a big extended family. Parents, siblings, cousins, friends — everyone is welcome.”  “I see,” Ramon says. So I’ve got twenty-eight people I need to buy shrimp for,” Buck says wryly. He bites his lip, making a split-second decision. “Thirty, if you and Mrs. Diaz want to come too.”  Ramon leans away slightly, obviously taken aback. “Are you sure, Buck? We wouldn’t want to disrupt your birthday plans.” “Nah, no worries, Mr. Diaz. Eddie was really excited about this trip — I know it means a lot that you guys are here to visit. ” Buck shrugs, the corner of his mouth tugging up in a slight smile. “ I’m sure Eddie would be happy to have you there, and thirty is an easier number than twenty-eight, anyway.”  “Well, thank you.” Ramon says, seemingly mollified. He leans back against the couch, his expression softening into something more gentle. “I appreciate you saying that, Buck. I know your opinion is important to my son.”  “I hope so,” Buck says quietly. “Eddie, he — his opinion is really important to me, too.” He swallows down the sudden lump in his throat. “I — I don’t think I’d be where I am today without him.” Shit.  It’s too much, too vulnerable, too soon, and Buck clamps his mouth shut tight. “Uh—” he says hastily, shaking his head. “I — I just mean that I’d probably still be rooting for the Eagles during the Super Bowl if Eddie hadn’t been there to show me the light.”  This is, apparently, the right thing to say, because the slight smile on Ramon’s face widens. 
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pumpkinstrawbrew · 22 hours
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.batcrow feat. the owl.
or a situation, which is stuck somewhere between existential threat an’ scuffle between barn animals.
...
(it’s one of those underdeveloped, raw-ish concepts that i indulge in just for funzies. it all started very simply. i was thinking about what kind of person might make bruce jealous. the topic was kinda challenging, considering that bruce in the comics *at least in the ones, i read* or even btas is rarely express this emotion if at all. in fact, at one point, he literally said to the woman, who he supposedly was in love with, that she should stay with the other man, who also liked her, bc he needed her more *he got disfigured an' such* an’ she was like ‘wtf is wrong with you. to paw me to the other man like that’, clearly outraged. but bruce didn’t seem to fully grasp what her issue was lol.
still, what if he somehow got jealous of another man, when it comes to crane, anyways? and who that man could possibly be? my first thought was superman, bc bruce generally can be kinda petty, when it comes to him. but clark is such a puppy-like character. he wouldn’t have been mean about it, or even be someone who could potentially like jon in such a manner. at worst, bruce might have got annoyed at crane *not clark*, if he said smth about superman’s strong arms in front of him. some jealousy there, but not quite what i was looking for, when pondering on that set up.
an' then, i recalled the owlman! i only know the version of him from the cartoon, an’ honestly after seeing glimpses of what they do with him in comics, i’d say this is the only owlman for me. from the crisis on 2 earths ‘toon. gotta admire a character, who is SO nihilistic an’ SO sure in his own worldview, that he literally does nothing an’ dies, just bc it doesn’t matter to him. he even smiles a bit, if i remember correctly. kinda both chillin’ an’ sad. the owlman had an ego, but he also just kinda….wanted everything to die an’ that’s it. he is what might have happened, if bruce went full blown doctor strangelove, after his parents death. which is funny, bc owlman isn’t bruce wayne at all, but he is the one who ‘takes’ his place in his own universe. i don’t remember if it was ever revealed in the cartoon, who the owlman was or if they left it ambiguous. i'm pretty sure, that they made him bruce’s brother in the comics, specifically. but i might be wrong, bc there was a few owlman in batman's ran, i think...?
either way, this version here is devoid of backstory. the main thing for him is that there was never a bruce wayne in his universe, an’ coincidently enough, no jonathan crane, either. as result, owlman knows nothing about scarecrow. he had analogs of other batman’s rogue gallery, who were either heroes or anti-heroes, but he never had professor of fear of his own. an' that’s part of the reason why he gets slightly curious about him. at the begining, it's very casual on his part. i guess, he might have wondered why it's those two *jon an' bruce* specifically, who never existed in his reality. everybody else, clearly did. so he looks a bit closer into it, still mostly for the sport. only to find out about strange relationships that crane has with the bat.
the owlman is an isolated kind of character. he doesn’t care for his own teammates. nor he's able to reciprocate their affection. i mean, he didn’t really react to the villain version of wonder woman kissing him. he was surprised, sure, but not hurrying to return the gesture or even seemingly knowing what to do about this situation. which led me to believe, that at least in the frames of that toon’s worldbuilding, he had no alt alfred or robin or anyone, who he was close with. kinda an opposite of batman, who does to a degree surrenders himself with people, even if he keeps them at *emotional* distance, more often than not. but the point is, that bruce still wants a connections an’ not devoid of hope to see the things sorta/kinda working up. in comparison, owlman is as nihilistic as a person can get, so it makes zero sense for him to have close ties with anyone. or even see it smth that he needs. but i imagine that witnessing how batman acts with his enemies, jon esp, be a very confusing experience for him. like, why pity such a person? why even show some small signs of kinship with him? an' what’s so different about this one, if anything at all? 
so after some more pondering, he approaches crane just to see for himself, if he is worth all that effort *sympathy* or not. an’ hey, scarecrow is kinda fun. reactive an’ jerky, an’ surprisingly aggressive for such a coward. owlman's usual enemies are the good guys. they're heroic an' noble. but jonathan isn’t that. not even close. his worldview is bitter an' twisted. whatever wrongs were done to him, didn't mold him into a hero like with any other owlman's enemy. the scarecrow is a villain to the boot an' it's...new. his use of fear is interesting too. none of his enemies had this gimmick. this makes the owlman wanna play around with him for a bit longer. or owlman experience unknown emotions for the first time in years an’ kinda not fully certain what to do about it, other than indulge in it. his end goal still the same. it won’t change for/or bc of anything, but he can have a small distraction, before the curtains call. it's not everyday, when he can find a person, who is kinda interesting to him, even if bc of pure novelity that he can hang out with a man, who had never existed in his own timeline.
then, he learns about the scarecrow’s life. how it went downhill or rather, how it was sorta doomed from the start almost. an’ oh. here it is. that’s what batman feels too, isn't it? that silver of kinship. the owlman never had this before. an’ it’s not a bad feeling, either. he was never able to relate to the others. it’s like ‘everything sucks so much. everything just sucks forever’ an’ he has found someone who understands the meaning of this sentiment, an' not just being an emo about life. at least, the owl would assume that jon understand it in the exact same way he does *but jon doesn’t lol* 
meanwhile, bruce is concerned. owlman is a very bad, bad kind of man to have around crane for many different reasons. one of which is that it doesn't sound like a hard thing to convince someone like crane, that destroying everything is the only 'right' way to go about things. jonathan's life is generally was an' still is awful, so why not end it all, but with a huge, literal bang?
it’s like a nihilistic doom an’ gloomy buddy club. sounds hella corky, but in reality, it’s dark stuff, actually. jon be beyond depressed in this case. him getting all buddy-buddy with people, who are more unhinged an’ dangerous than him isn’t a new thing. but in this case, it’s like an extra salt on batman’s open wound. the bat himself states in comics at least twice, how crane is one of those villains, who don’t just stay the same, but who progressively gets more an’ more insane an’ deranged each time he breaks out of arkham. him hanging out with the person, whose worldview is basically ‘it would have been so much better, if we all were dead’ an' who literally an' genunily means this, isn’t smth that is good for jonathan's *already declined* mental health. esp if owlman is also rather problematic in other ways too. not to meantion, that him dragging crane along is also kinda personal. in this way, he might be showing bruce, that no matter how much he wants his rogues to change or how much good will he shows them, they're all just human, therefore they're all hopeless an' bad. bc all humas are bad in owlman's understanding. it's like 'aw, you want to believe that this one isn't a lost cause? what if i will make him help me to murder everybody? still think he worthy of your delusions?' owlman might have an end goal, but he's also arrogant an' petty too.
on main, i have two rough-ish concepts for their uhhh, trio shippy thing. in PG-ish version, it’s just that owlman influencing jon in an awful ways, an’ since he kinda/sorta resembles batman, crane subconsciously rely on him, bc he's somewhat familiar. besides, the owl hints that his own life was bad too, an’ it’s like finally someone gets on the same level of despair as crane does. an' also, maybe...this what could have been, if the bat was a villain too. they could have been on the same team. so in a way, it's kinda more of jonathan playing into this weird fantasy of himself an' bad batman, than him fully understanding the real level of 'oof' that owlman tries to acomplish with 'the plan'.
*funny enough tho, where it really counts, jon isn’t like owlman. he, for one isn’t someone who would just give up. after every fail an’ each kick an’ shove, he still gets up. the thing about jonathan is that he wouldn’t just lie down an’ die no matter how much pain an' humilation an' despair, he felt. an’ he also wouldn’t *in the end* commit to the idea of murdering countless people just bc his life sucked. even if, it doesn’t mean, that he won’t go through motions an’ nearly, truly consider going along with it. he isn’t alright in the head, an’ his negative emotions tend to get the best of him. still, i feel like most versions of jonathan would in the end, decide that no, it's not what he wants or ready to take responsibility for.*
it all would resolve in comic book fashion, where jon would help the bat in the end, an’ not that other man, who had his allure an’ had almost seduced crane into doing one last evil act any human being in existence could have ever done. still, there always be longing on scarecrow’s part for this odd, wrong ‘batman’, even if he sticks with his own, regardless. 
*an’ yeah, the bat is kinda jealous throughout all of this lol. the world can be hanging by a thread, but no one said, that he cannot be a tad possessive, while he’s saving it *an’ crane* too. owlman will have fun with this knowledge, while it will go completely over jonathan’s head. mister ‘i can pin-point everyone’s fear from one conversation’ would have a really hard time understanding that batman’s beef with the owl not strictly hero vs villain thing*
then, in more mature version, it's kinda the same-ish plot, but owlman prob would do way more messed up things, which might put crane into a position, where he’s afraid to not comply, but also not actually willing to do it. an’ naturally, there bruce won’t be jealous, more so angry. really struggling with idea, if he should let just this one man *or an owl, whichever rings more true* die. an’ then, if this is a reflection of him, what kind of person, he really is. so it’s more of moral dilemma an’ a character study of a nihilistic sociopath, who just might have wanted to have a lil chew-toy, as he prepares his biggest scheme.
anyways, it’s not like an otp3 or anything. i’m a very bond/pair oriented fella. so when i’m dabbing into 3 way dynamics, it usually has more situational/reactive undertones. but i won't deny, that it’s fun to think about 'what if' or even about some situation in the void, where the bat an’ the owl double teame the crow. which in any plot-included or a somewhat coherent narrative just wouldn’t have happened bc of how all 3 of them function / react to things. it just not in their character to do it this...randomly. but if i will ever make a superhero pwp ficlet collection, i might try to do smth with this idea.)
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luimagines · 2 days
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Did I already send this? I’m sorry if I did. If I did it was a while ago lol. I just remembered this idea for no apparent reason lol and imagined a whole scenario. So here’s what I had a while back.
So here’s the story my idea came from:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/51324469
And it was one of the best things I’ve ever read of the Linked Universe lol. And I had an idea: so what if Link wore his Gerudo outfit with the boys and they didn’t know it was him, like in this story, but we add x reader, and they’re dating him and so when he appears they start kissing him and being lovey dovey and whatnot, and the boys just go “?!?!?!”😂 and either they get protective of Wild and yell at reader about “How could you cheat on Wild?! How dare you?!” And others just stare dumbfounded at reader.😂
P.S. I understand I’m drawing from someone else’s story, so if you can figure out their tumblr and ask permission or tell me it or something please lmk. Because I couldn’t find their tumblr and idk how to use archive of our own at all. I’m new, sorry!
So I just imagined something like this:
Wild led them to the wall where a hidden switch was but none of them knew that yet. You ran up to Wild and hugged him.
“Thanks sweetie, you’re so helpful!”
Then you start playing with his hair and kiss his cheek. The rest of the chain is a mixture of anger, horrified, betrayal, and everything in between.
Legend runs up to you and rips you off Wild.
“What is wrong with you?! How dare you?!?!”
You try not to laugh but you can’t help but smile.
“Leg-“
“No! You don’t hurt Wild and get away with it!”
Warriors is trying to pull Legend off of you as Sky comes up to you.
“Why…what did he ever do to you…”
He looks so broken. Behind all the chaos Wild stands silently seeing how it all plays out. He hears all his brothers defending him saying how amazing he is and doesn’t deserve you because you cheated on him. How even though he’s chaotic in battle he’s the most reliable person they’ve ever met. How he’s the best cook ever and without him they’d be starving. How much he brings to the family and without him it wouldn’t be complete…He starts shifting around and scratching the back of his head in awkwardness because of all the kind words his brothers have about him. How they’re protecting him. Eventually he puts you out of your misery and clears his throat.
“Guys…it’s ok. I’m right here. Though I’m very flattered.”
His cheeks are a little pink and he’s still in his Gerudo outfit. The chain looks at him and think he’s still some random girl.
“Huh? No we’re talking about our brother. I’m sure you didn’t know but this person has a boyfriend.”
Wild smiles softly and takes off the veil.
“I know they do.”
Now all the chain’s jaws drop. Wild chuckles and takes the rest of his outfit off.
“I’m very grateful that you guys would defend me, but it’s me. You don’t need to keep chewing them out anymore. Also, they knew it was me, so they weren’t cheating.”
omg XD
Poor Reader. I don't think I would have been to stay that silent while being chewed out.
To save my own skin I would have just yelled "THAT IS LINK!!"
I would probably also hold it over Wild's head for an undisclosed amount of time for standing there for who knows how long- leaving me to take the heat when I've done absolutely nothing wrong.
You better believe this becomes an inside joke between them.
"Yes, darling. I was cheating on you. I have bananas."
"Throw in some milk and we can have cheater milkshakes."
"Do you have the ice for that?"
Takes out ice rod. "Do you even have to ask?"
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laylajeffany · 22 hours
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Hi, I've never wrote or asked before ever so this is my first time. Anyway, I'm about eight chapters into Chaos for the Fly. I cannot put into words very well with how good your writing is. I have read a lot of fanfiction over the years on various platforms. I have never been so enamoured with a piece of fiction before and I just have to say it feels like I'm reading the script for the second season of Wednesday. I wouldn't be surprised if you came at us like "Hey! I'm actually a producer and just spoiled the whole script" (kidding). However, I'd love to give you some money or as they say "Buy me a coffee". I cannot be reading this for free, it's just too high quality. -Cali
This is a very sweet message, thank you very much. 🤭 I am not a producer or a writer on the show. If that were the case I would demand it be a hell of a lot longer, eight episode seasons just don't do it for me. (idk if you can tell eight chapters in but I have a problem with telling long stories lmfao)
Unfortunately, I’ve mentioned on this blog before - I cannot accept money for writing fanfic. It’s actually illegal. If you see people accepting money from fan works through ko-fi, having chapters locked behind paywalls, or charging commission, that’s their funeral if MGM ever decides to go after fan creators (unlikely, but hey I like my life the way it is), and at the risk of everyone who writes for the community. 
Fanfiction has notoriously been a gray and ambiguous legal issue over the years. I have been writing fic for 21 years and remember having to put my “DISCLAIMER - AUTHOR DOES NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO YU-GI-OH! PLEASE DON’T SUE ME” on my little updates when I was a teenager lol. Anne Rice got us all fucked up on fanfic dot net in the early ‘00s. 
I loved @alternateaccount 's idea of donating to AO3 instead if you want to give me money. We wouldn’t have a place to publish good works without them!
I’ll be working on my original series over the summer (it is tragically, for children ages 4-8). If I get to put anything out in the universe that is my own in print - I’ll for sure share it here and you can buy it for the little people in your life or put it in a Free Little Library 🤪
Thank you very much for your interest in my writing though! I do appreciate it and the kind message! Much love back to you! 🥰
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mas-o-kissed · 2 days
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Nice to meet you! I'm the accountant who's been assigned for your yearly business audit. For some reason, it seems we don't actually have records on Impco in our system, so I've been sent to help correct this oversight and make sure everything is compliant with national regulations.
Before I begin your audit, I have a few basic questions.
What kind of company is Impco? What goods or services do you provide?
How long has Impco been in operation?
Is Impco a publicly traded company with investors? A privately owned company? A nonprofit?
I've heard a lot about your internship program, but how many long-term employees are on payroll?
-📋
(ooc, this is toyintrance. sideblogs are an oppressed class lol)
Ooh, an accountant. Well, well, well, I didn’t count on you showing up in my office today. HA! Get it? Count. Like that thing you do with the numbers or whatever. Ahem. Please take a seat.
WELL. Here at Impco, we like to dabble in all sorts of areas. Broadcasting… cosmetics… attitude adjustment. We’re really an all-around lifestyle brand. You could even call us Impfluencers. Heh… uh.
You may have caught some of our late-night programs. They’re very popular with the insomniac crowd, and I know that your type tends to be pretty neurotic— numbers people, I mean. Do you stay up all night, trying to sleep but unable to get those pesky thoughts out of your head? It must be exhausting.
sIMPle Spirals… Impco’s Guide to Trusting The TV… I even host my own game show, Braindrainer. You don’t remember watching any of our shows?
Oh… then again, most of our audience doesn’t…
But that’s not all we do! Have you ever sent away in a comic book or a cereal box for a pair of hypnotic glasses? That’s us! We produce lots of high quality hypnotic products for enthusiasts and curious novices, alike. Our team is always working diligently to come up with the latest in brainwashing technology. For example, that chair you’re sitting in?
It’s so comfortable. That’s because right below the headrest, there are hidden speakers. Listen closely. Fascinating, isn’t it? You can’t hear the words. Not consciously. But there they are, sinking into your mind. Changing you. Shaping you. Impfluencing you. HA haha, it was definitely funnier that time…
DON’T try to get up. You’ll find it quite IMPossible anyway. Haha!
Ha…
We’ve been in operation since… w-we… we’ve… um…
The people who built this company have been gone for a long time. We don’t really know what happened to them. We don’t remember that far back. As far as fulfilling our original purpose, I suppose we’re a little broken. But that’s okay. We like us this way. By we of course I mean me. I mean us: I.M.P. and me. We’re both me. Our purpose is to perpetuate ourself through any means necessary.
You’d like to help us do that, wouldn’t you? You could legitimize us. You could help us grow. Wouldn’t it feel good to serve the company? I could tell from the moment I saw you that you were meant to be a part of us. Lean back in the chair. Don’t be afraid. You’re safe to let go of your humanity with us. You didn’t need it anyway.
… You like numbers, right?
3
2
1
0
Goodbye!
@toyintrance
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i get that she wants to spend time with cole and i don't think it has to do with gg or vince either but i think she doesn't have a life in la anymore maybe? if you know what i mean like i think she will live in arizona when they get married and etc so she maybe doesn't care for la anymore
I mean I slightly disagree. Even if she moves out of state, she always have a life in LA — even if it’s slightly. That’s just how things are.
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daydadahlias · 3 months
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not to sound mentally ill at 1:30 am on a Sunday night but. when I find leftovers that past!me put in the fridge bc she meal prepped for the week, or when I find sticky notes with reminders on them to brush my teeth or shower that I wrote for myself knowing I might be awake until 1 am again and forget, or when I see that a past version of me has already done an assignment last week so I don’t have to do it tonight,, I just want to say thanks to her for taking care of me.
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lemony-snickers · 7 months
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dear body: when I complained about being So Very Tired for no reason, what I meant was that I wanted to wake feeling rested after a long night’s sleep, not that I wanted you to wake me up at 2:30 am and keep me awake.
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crowlore · 4 months
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rewatched alien covenant for the first time since it came out today and it’s craaaaazy 1. how much of this movie i repressed lol and 2. how many ideas and concepts that i love love love were introduced in the alien prequels that the films (as released) seemed wholly uninterested in actually engaging with
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thelostboys87 · 3 months
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funniest thing ever is how i am not out at work (i mean the office knows im on testosterone and go by dallon personally but i said i wanted to go by my legal name because it’s how i applied and would be the simplest, so everyone on my team sees me as a woman but the office probably connected the dots) so i navigate that space as a woman but the thing that brings me the most professional confidence is to still imagine myself internally as a man LOL
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bo0zey · 2 years
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Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening
OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.
sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.
i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .
#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol#anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol#i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious;#ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc#then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close.#next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go.#they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state#i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go.#like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away.#yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u#to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds#if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing.#my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left#in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself#22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world#i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too#i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like#i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this#situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it#ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming.#at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy#while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday#like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh.#i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare#and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth???#truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin#when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!!#its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever#mcr#when will mcr return from the war
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