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kthstrawberryshortcake · 3 years

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BTS Reactions: Their S/O is Inexperienced Yet in Their Mid 20s

A/N: Here it is, my first post after my long-ass hiatus :) I hope you guys enjoy it! Requests are OPEN, please send some over! <3

PREMISE: OT7 reacting to finding out that their s/o is physically inexperienced relationship-wise / that this is their s/o’s first relationship despite them being in their mid 20s

A/N: I think a lot of people won't understand why this is a reaction in the first place (lol) but it can be super uncomfortable / awkward to have not dated / had any experience at that age, and a lot of people react badly to finding that out about someone. It's definitely an insecurity for a lot of people (myself included).

warning: mostly unedited due to my status as a trash gremlin

Jin:

Jin was completely shocked when he found out that you had never dated before him. Without thinking, he let this incredulity show on his face, total surprise evident and eyebrows raised. He was briefly silent in disbelief. You took that to mean that he thought you were weird now. You certainly felt that way.

Involuntarily, tears welled up in your eyes and Jin finally registered your distress. “What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, gently brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. You stared down at your feet, murmuring “You probably think I’m super strange now.” in explanation. Jin shook his head insistently, imploring that he didn’t find it weird at all.

“Honestly I was just shocked because I don’t know how you didn’t have people practically lining down the block to date you.” He explained, bringing a small smile back to your face. He pulled you into a hug, assuring you that he was in no hurry as long as he got to spend time with you.

Yoongi:

You and Yoongi were having a cozy night in and catching up on dramas. In the show you were presently watching, there was a character who was in her mid 20s that had never dated or even kissed anyone. Yoongi scoffed, rolling his eyes at this. “This is so unrealistic. Like come on, seriously? How do you get to be that age having never dated, having never even kissed somebody? It’s a completely absurd concept.”

You started to curl in on yourself, looking down with a tortured expression on your face. You were scared to explain the truth, fearful that if he knew he wouldn’t want you anymore. After a few minutes like that, Yoongi finally noticed your body language. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He inquired gently. How were you going to explain this to him?

“I, um… I guess I kind of freaked out when you were talking about the plot being unrealistic… You were so sure it couldn’t happen that you were annoyed by it. And then I really didn’t know how to tell you that the plot line we were discussing is literally the same as me. I’ve never dated before, you’re the first… And when you kissed me for the first time, that was my first kiss.” You took a deep breath, having exerted a lot of energy to force out your words.

Yoongi’s eyes lit up in recognition, then guilt crept onto his features. “Baby no, I’m so sorry, I completely overreacted about the show. I shouldn’t have said all that. I never wanted to hurt your feelings.” Yoongi admitted sincerely. He could tell that you felt a little bit better after that reassurance.

"It’s not a bad thing to do things on a different timeline. Plus, I got the honor of being your first boyfriend because of it. Maybe I’ll be your last.” He said the last part quietly, smirking softly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Hoseok:

One of your favorite things about Hobi was his open and energetic attitude. He was truly one of the friendliest people you’d ever met, and it had felt easy to become close with him. You hadn’t been dating long at all, but the ease of conversation made it feel like you’d known each other for years.

On one particular day, the two of you were chatting over a dinner of your favorite delivery food. Hoseok was in the middle of a funny story about one of his exes, never one for unnecessary social boundaries or conventions, which was fine because you were laughing like crazy at the ridiculous tale he told. Then he continued, though, to tell (admittedly hilarious and absurd) stories about some of his other exes. You were entertained, certainly, though the number of people he seemed to have dated was a bit intimidating to you.

When he finally finished, he asked about *your* exes, and that was where the issue really started. You deflected, not wanting to directly bring attention to the fact that you had never dated before him. He became oddly persistent, seeming frustrated that you didn’t want to share. Not wanting him to misunderstand why you weren’t telling him what he wanted to know, you sucked it up and told him that he was your first boyfriend.

He was extremely surprised, but seemed to understand now why you had been reluctant to answer his questioning. He apologized for going on about exes for so long, and for inadvertently making you nervous. You assured him that it wasn’t a big deal, especially since the only important thing was your relationship moving forward, not either of your pasts.

Namjoon:

When you and Namjoon had only been together a few weeks (after a much longer friendship prior to your romantic relationship beginning), you were spending a nice chill evening at home, eating takeout and chatting. The two of you seemingly never ran out of things to talk about, one of the things you loved about being with him.

You don’t even remember what had led to it, but partway through the evening, he made some dumb joke about virgins and you visibly froze. You had yet to tell him about your lack of experience, and now you were terrified to. Was that really something he’d be bothered by? You hadn’t thought so, but his joking around about it made you doubt that. You did your best not to show your panic, paying unusually close attention to the glass of water you were drinking.

Unfortunately for you, your discomfort was completely apparent, and Namjoon asked you if you were okay. You nodded with a forced smile, making him frown, easily able to tell that you weren’t. You were afraid to tell him now because if it really bothered him that much, maybe it would disappoint him. Maybe it’d be a dealbreaker and he would lose interest in you. Unsure what to do, you stared at your hands, tense and worried. Namjoon lightly rested his hand on your shoulder, staring at you in concern. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” He implored gently.

At that moment you could no longer hold in your emotion, your fear, and tears began to leak from your eyes as you sniffled, starting to shake a bit as you cried. You let him pull you into his arms, holding you close as you tried to stop crying. After a few minutes of you trying to calm down, aided by Joon’s sweet behavior, he asked again what was wrong, insisting that you could tell him anything. Your chest felt tight, but you didn’t see a way out of sharing what had upset you.

When you explained what had happened, Namjoon felt horrible, cursing himself for having said something so dumb. He told you that it was just a stupid joke, not something he actually cared about, apologizing for upsetting you with his thoughtlessness. He made sure to assure you that it wasn’t a problem for him in the least, and that he was in no rush. Afterwards the whole situation seemed a little silly, though you remembered how genuinely panicked you had been only minutes before and shuddered. But things were immediately made better, the two of you snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie.

Jimin:

Your blossoming relationship with Jimin made you feel like you were walking on a cloud. He was incredibly sweet and so much fun to spend time with, you felt very lucky to be dating him now. Just to be sweet, you had picked up food from his favorite lunch place and were bringing it to him at the BigHit building, where he was currently busy at work in a practice room.

When you arrived, the door to the room was open, but you heard voices coming from inside. You only paused when you heard Jimin say your name. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and you were about to announce your presence until you realized what he was saying. “You know I really like her, man, I just feel so unsure right now. There has been like, zero physical affection up to this point, nothing beyond hugs and holding hands.” Jimin grumbled, sounding irritated.

Tae hummed in acknowledgement, pausing before inquiring “So obviously you’re frustrated, but what are you thinking about it?” Jimin sighed. “Maybe she just doesn’t like me as much as I like her. I don’t want to think anything bad about her, but what if she’s playing me? Like, she doesn’t have actual feelings for me.” He sounded very down, clearly hurt by the mere possibility. At that moment you were so shocked by what you were hearing, you accidentally dropped the bag of takeout, hurrying to pick it up, but you’d already drawn attention to yourself.

Jimin and Taehyung looked beyond shocked to see you, and you realized you were crying. Taehyung excused himself to let the two of you talk. You walked farther into the room, approaching the boys. “I thought we could have lunch… I know you don’t take enough breaks, and I really wanted to see you…” You admitted quietly, unable to actually make eye contact.

“I just feel so horrible, it’s all my fault that you don’t even know how crazy I am about you. I can’t believe…. I let you be unsure of how much I care about you. It’s my fault, I’m so sorry Jimin.” By the end of what you were saying, you were holding back full sobs. Seeing how distressed you were, Jimin wasted no time in rushing to you and pulling you into his arms, hugging you close.

When you’d finally calmed down and stopped crying, you thought you owed him an explanation. “The lack of physical affection isn’t because I don’t like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody. I’ve just… never done anything. I haven’t even been in a relationship before now, it’s all new to me.” You admitted, feeling Jimin stiffen in your hug.

When you pulled back to look at him, tears were welling up in his eyes. “Oh, I’m the worst…” He muttered, feeling so guilty. “I was just frustrated, I was feeling insecure. Now that I know, I don’t mind one bit waiting for anything until you’re ready.” He assured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead as you nodded understanding.

Tae:

It had only been a few weeks since Tae had confessed his feelings to you and the pair of you had started dating. Long before that, you’d been close friends, so you had spent a lot of time together over time. During one of your first few movie nights as a couple, things slowly began to escalate between you. You were sitting close together, seemingly focused on the film, when Tae moved to put an arm around you, pulling you closer so you were snuggled up beside him.

His eyes never left the screen, but there was a telltale little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes a little, but you certainly didn’t mind. Despite it being such a small thing, at this stage in your relationship, this was a little bit thrilling. Soon you could feel him staring at you, and you turned your head to look back at him. His face had gotten much closer to yours than you’d expected. “…Tae?” you whispered, seeing both affection and mischief in his eyes. “Yes love?” He replied quietly in his gorgeous low voice, making you shiver just slightly.

You shook your head almost imperceptibly, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. You froze, all of this being completely new and foreign for you. Feeling you stiffen and fail to reciprocate the kiss, Tae pulled back to look at your face, wearing an expression of concern. “Um, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just… assumed you felt the same way…” He muttered nervously, not making eye contact. “No!” You exclaimed a little louder than you meant to, quieting your voice to a near-whisper before speaking again.

“No, Tae, I do feel the same way! I really, really do. I love you. I have since we were just friends. I… I want you too. Just, um, I don’t know what to do…. That was my first kiss just now and I kind of just panicked and froze.” You confessed, watching the surprise and then recognition cover his face. That was all it took to take his unsure expression back to a smug smirk. Knowing the power his voice held over you, he leaned in close to you to speak in your ear when he said “in that case, I think we need some practice, don’t you?” Oh boy.

Jungkook:

You had been seeing Jungkook for a couple of months now and it was more than apparent that he was smitten with you (and vice versa). He complimented you frequently, his heart eyes for you always clearly on display. The only problem was the way you practically jumped away from him any time he got close to you. He had definitely noticed your weird behavior, and though you didn’t know what to do about it, you knew it was only a matter of time until he brought it up in conversation.

When that moment came, you had just clammed up and pulled back from him when he tried to put his arm around you while watching a movie. When you saw his expression in reaction, you felt immensely guilty, seeing the hurt on his face. After a moment it shifted to extreme irritation, him clenching his jaw in annoyance. “What’s your problem? I can’t get anywhere near you without you freaking out and moving away in a hurry.” You couldn’t make eye contact anymore at that point, feeling the tears well up in your eyes as you were filled with the fear that you had ruined things with him.

“I… I don’t really know why I keep doing that, it’s just all new to me. I’ve never dated anyone before you so I kind of don’t know what to do with myself most of the time.” You confessed, trying to mask the sniffle that you gave as the first tear rolled down your cheek. Now it was Jungkook’s turn to feel guilty. He approached you slowly, asking you to look at him in a gentle voice. When you did, you saw that the irritation was completely gone, replaced with remorse and fondness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I could have just asked like an actual adult rather than how I behaved. I guess I was just insecure, afraid that you don’t like me in the same way I like you.” He explained, and you nodded slightly in understanding.

“That’s not it at all! I really *really* like you. A relationship is just totally uncharted territory for me and I handled it wrong. I should’ve just told you.” You sighed, the heaviness leaving your heart as an adorable bunny smile grew on his face. “Uncharted territory, huh? Well let me be your travel guide. We can be explorers together.” You rolled your eyes at his dumb joke, but smiled in spite of how silly his words were. You felt like now, with it all out in the open, things could be good with the two of you.

a/n: Feedback please! <3 I love to hear from y'all!

#bts reaction #bts reactions #bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts drabble #bts drabbles #bts fluff #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts ot7

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barachiki · 2 years

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Do you ever have a moment when a memory just pops into your head? And there's no reason for it, it just pops up.

Anyways, this particular memory that just popped into my head was probably from about 12 years ago. I was in the dollar store, it was summer and I was buying water balloons for a water fight at a park with some of my friends. I was wearing a black tank top and these green and blue hawaiian print shorts.

A woman walked up to me and told me she liked my shorts.

I was polite, and said thank you. She asked where I got them. I told her that they were a steal of a deal from a thrift store, because they were.

SO THEN she told me "Well in that case, I'll give you $20 right now for them." Like, she wanted to buy the clothes that I was physically wearing at the time.

"No, thank you, I'm just doing some shopping!" I try to be polite to the weird lady. She then insists and offers $25, and says I can go home and change and bring them to her, as if I otherwise would just go home in my underwear from the dollar store?

I was so shocked all I could say was, "Actually, my friends are expecting me, so I don't have time to go home. Nice to meet you!" and I paid for my stuff and left.

That is an example of 'being in your 20's' and still having the brainwashing that you have to be polite to everyone. If that were me today, I would tell her to fuck off, or maybe try to have a conversation with her that involved something that repeated what she was asking me to do, so she could understand how weird it was.

And I know what you might be thinking, this woman was not in distress, she didn't seem to be having issues, or was unstable or anything like that, she was just looking for a bargain and didn't know the rules of shopping or something.

In the end, I think I kept that story to myself for a long time, because I kept thinking I had done something wrong, like "oh man, I really should have sold my clothes to that nice lady." But seriously, that was a weird situation.

#just blabber #barachiki recalls a moment from the paaaaast!

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nerdygaymormon · 3 years

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uhhhh david have you gotten the liahona yet bc idk how to feel about an article i found in there yesterday. it was pretty comforting and basic, but did use ssa the whole time. BUT the youth one was pretty crappy, it used ssa to the max and gave no real hope, was pretty bland and annoying about oh itll be find just believe and jesus and get hatecrimed <3 i would like to hear your thoughts on it, its the first time ive seen any queer topics in church magazines

Thanks for bringing these to my attention.

"Same-sex attraction" (SSA) is the preferred term of Church leaders. They say it's a way of not making it your identity, that this isn't part of who I am but rather is something I'm dealing with. In other words, people "have" same-sex attraction, not that they "are" gay or lesbian or bi.

There have been a few leaks from behind-the-scenes where the apostles say they use "same-sex attraction" because it's the term that people like least. People like it less that same-gender attraction or gay/lesbian. SSA includes the word "sex" and I guess the idea is it gets people to think of sexual acts and feel queasy.

SSA is the term normally used in Church magazines because they follow the lead of the First Presidency and apostles.

There's 3 items in the Church magazines this month about queer people! That's a lot for one month.

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The first is a bishop talking about how to understand and include LGBT people at church. After becoming bishop, 3 sets of parents contacted him distressed that their child is gay or transgender (I note that the parents used "gay." He also mentions contacting someone who 'identifies as gay").

His first recommendation is to follow the living apostles. (which explains why the bishop uses "SSA" even though everyone else around him used "gay"). It's a good idea for a local leader to find what the current leaders are saying because it's changed. He also says to read the Church's websites titled “Same-Sex Attraction” and “Transgender.” He provides two lovely quotes from those pages about diversity at church and being loving to people who are different.

His second recommendation is to not be afraid to talk to people who identify as gay, but instead try to have love for them and then let the Spirit guide you in what to say. We're just people, it shouldn't be scary to talk to us, that shows how different he thinks we are from the other people he interacts with in his ward.

The bishop's third suggestion is to speak to people who are familiar with LGBT "issues," share your testimony, and apologize for hurtful things you say. His list of people to contact for help understanding was a little disheartening because he starts with his stake leaders, ward leaders, other bishops, and so on, actual queer people were the last people on his list.

He continues by saying to pull aside members who are saying homophobic or transphobic things and give them some personal guidance, don't share private information that a member shares with the bishop, and just because someone has these "attractions" doesn't mean they're acting on them, and if they aren't "acting" on them then you can let them have a calling.

I have a few comments about the last few things. If no one corrects the homophobic/transphobic comments in public but instead privately suggests the person do better, every one who heard those comments thinks they stand unchallenged. The atmosphere created by the comments is unchanged. Especially if the bishop was present to hear those words, if they go uncontested then people think this is what is acceptable.

You'd think bishops know not to share private information a member shares with them. I've been around long enough to know that when a bishop is unsure what to do, he starts contacting his network (stake presidency, other bishops) asking for advice. Some bishops are discreet when doing this and others name the individuals.

While it seems basic, I recently had a counselor in a bishopric who didn't think gay people could get a temple recommend, that there's a zero-tolerance policy. That is an attitude that is outdated by a couple of decades, but it shows that people need to learn that simply existing as a gay or trans person doesn't automatically mean we are committing great sins.

I do find it interesting there appears to have been quite a few queer individuals in his ward, at least 4 or 5, and reading between the lines it seems they all stopped attending.

The bishop's heart is in the right place. I get he's following the Church leaders and that limits some of what he can do for queer people in his ward. I think his perspective primarily is of making the parents feel more welcome in the ward and not ostracized for having queer kids.

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The second article in the Liahona is written by a person with same-sex attraction and his work to overcome the shame he felt.

It's a much better article than the one written by the bishop. This person shares about the shame they felt at having gay feelings and working with a therapist to overcome that shame. He shares 3 lessons that helped him with this process.

1) God and Jesus love and accept him as he is. This is a message that doesn't often get conveyed to queer members and it's important they know this.

2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ offers healing. At first he was wanting the Atonement to cure him of being gay, but instead it helped him be healed of the shame he felt. I hear so many members who think the Atonement can change us from gay to straight, and that's not true. I'm glad he made this distinction. Our Heavenly Parents don't view being gay or trans as something that needs to be cured. I wish that message was taught more openly in the Church.

3) Build deeper connections and show compassion. Loneliness and feeling like you don't belong at church are two of the most troubling aspects an LGBTQ+ person has to deal with if they are active in the LDS Church. Developing close friendships will help with that. Also, queer people tend to be more compassionate than the average person and I believe it's because of the experiences we had to deal with of living in a heteronormative world that isn't made for us.

He includes a few useful tips at the end on how to engage with queer people.

All in all, a much better story than the one written by the bishop. He shared part of how it feels to be a gay member of this church, the idea that he should be ashamed for who he is, that being gay isn’t a burden, that he doesn't fit in.

I appreciated he said this is part of his layers of identity and at the core of his identity is that we're children of heavenly parents. That's more nuanced than the apostles who reject being gay has anything to do with identity and our only identity should be a child of God.

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The final story is from For the Strength of Youth. This piece seems like it's written by a queer person, but it's anonymous and given as general advice to show that people with same-sex attraction belong at church.

This article makes 3 main points. The first is that God loves you. That's true, although accompanying quotes to back up this principle aren't specifically about queer people.

The second point is "you belong." All sorts of people attend church, and God is no respecter of persons. Then they have a quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton that people with same-sex attraction are welcome to come to church. To me, he's an odd choice to give this message as he led the Church's fight in California on Prop 8 to make gay marriage illegal again. Words aren't enough. Saying I'm welcome is not the same as making a welcoming climate.

The third point is that God will help you. They include a quote from Laura F. who experiences same-sex attraction. She writes about prayer, scripture study, temple and church attendance. However, she also says she doesn't know what her life will look like in 20 years, she seems to be leaving open the possibility her journey with God will lead her to romance and out of the church. I thought that was very honest and important.

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I found it noteworthy that nowhere in these 3 articles does it say being alone and celibate is good and what God wants.

I appreciate the idea that we can make our local congregations less homophobic/transphobic. The suggestions from the bishops shows that the bar is pretty low and it doesn't take much to make an improvement from how things are now.

The voices of the two gay members was important, what they shared was useful but nuanced, didn't make commitments to staying in the church long-term or testify that what the church requires is what God wants for them.

Even so, it's clear the publisher is very careful. They use "same-sex attraction" so often, I think readers would be surprised the preferred term of most same-sex attracted people would be gay, bi or lesbian. While they addressed some things, like homophobic/transphobic comments, feeling shame & not fitting in, I think they largely skated past the things that make queer people decide that this church isn't for them.

There's a part of me that says I'm glad we're having this conversation in the Church magazines, but another part that says this is too sanitized and doesn't get at the heart of things. These are very hopeful messages that make it seem that queer people could easily choose to stay in church if a few adjustments were made and if they only understood God loves them, which avoids the "doctrine" that excludes queer people from the highest blessings and joys and makes us essentially second-class citizens in the kingdom of God, at least according to our church.

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

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Dear 'Anime Bad' Anon: I Want To Help I pity your situation, so please have a list of weebshit that isn't moeified, or wherein the cutesy art-style serves a greater purpose. (Note: though they won't be soft marshmallow uguuuu, they may still have issues in other ways. Some may have aged badly with regards to how society views or portrays groups or beliefs, some may have upsetting content and dark themes, and some may simply not be to your taste. Note: Anime is a genre, not a monolith, and the disparaging stereotype that it's all cute girls uwuing over their brother s-s-senpai!!! is as much of a disservice as saying all western movies are just vapid cash grab superhero movie sequels with no inegrity or thought put into them. There are indeed a lot of superhero movies, but they're not all identical schlock (megamind vs venom vs kick-ass), but even more than that, there is a wealth of creative endeavor just beyond the veil of Marvel's cape: just as there are plenty of good anime if you dig past the isekai high school harem wish fulfillment genre that no one wants to keep making but people keep making because it prints money to a very small demographic of the animation equivalent of a mobile game whale thereby allowing this frankly quite-small industry to work on engaging and worthwhile series where the budget permits, Regardless,)

Mushi-shi: -Pros: gorgeous animation, tranquil vibes, episodic stories so you can cram in an episode between classes or on your lunch break. highly recommended by the literal-who typing this out. -Cons: some themes or stories may cause emotional distress, learning to tell apart Urushibara Yuki's characters is a learning curve.

Baccano-Pros: meticulously-researched 20s-and-30s-era mafia violence with a hint of the supernatural, as a treat, told anachronistically with flair and jazz music. practically made to be binge-watched. the novels are finally getting translated into english as well. -Cons: lots of characters to keep track of, fair bit of blood and violence, some scenes or themes may be upsetting, lots of jumping around between different time periods. See Also: Durarara, another series by Ryōgo Narita with a ton of characters and a plot with more threads an overpriced sheet.

Cowboy Bebop-Pros: incredibly well-regarded, space bounty hunters are cool, episodic series that slowly takes on a plot towards the end, fantastic animation, scoring, and even dub work. -Cons: some scenes or themes may be uncomfortable, some parts have not aged quite so well, the smart doll version of the main character is ugly, you're gonna carry that weight.

Trigun-Pros: starts lighthearted, develops an increasingly investing plot as the series goes along. fictional westerns are cool. this world is made of love and peace -Cons: some scenes or themes may be upsetting, and probably will be. gun violence is naturally present, but that ain't all of it.

Hellsing (standard or Ultimate. or Abridged)Pros: vampires killing nazis. the original adaptation isn't bad, the second adaptation (ultimate) is generally viewed as an improvement. abridged is a youtube parody version that was so popular the voice actors reference it in convention interviews.Cons: a Lot of violence, even trending to the gorey side of things. Uncomfortable Themes Everywhere, but it's a horror-tinged action series about killing nazis, so that's to be expected.

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-Pros: while the original anime was quite good, the second iteration is a large improvement. does to alchemy what naruto does to ninjas: It's Basically Battle Magic. the plot starts on a strong note and doesn't let up from there. -Cons: there are distressing scenes and themes that may or may not be tolerable to the viewer. there are moments of cheesecake and even an occasional joke or a moeblob here and there, and it's not all doom and all gloom all the time, but this doesn't detract from the abject horror-despair that comes to permeate this series as it progresses. finally understand why people on the internet respond so negatively to the name 'nina'!

[Mod: many more recs/reviews under the break, worth reading for those who like more obscure anime and animation]

Grave of the Fireflies-Pros: you will remember how to cry. it's a good reminder that one country's 'triumphs' often come at the expense of another country's people. -Cons: this movie is incredibly dark, do not watch if you are in a bad headspace. see also: Barefoot Gen, a similar tale but this time from the perspective of an actual survivor from Hiroshima.

Michiko to Hatchin-Pros: an actually diverse cast of characters tangled up in a messy and very humanizing story, interspersed with Shinichiro Watanabe's particular flare for adventure. -Cons: some scenes or themes are very likely to be distressing. can be tricky to find, too.

Mo no no Ke (not the ghibli movie, though it is also quite good.) -Pros: incredibly unique art style and pacing that draws heavily from japanese theatre traditions, every screenshot is wallpaper-worthy. -Cons: may cause motion sickness. it is a psychological horror series, and one that does not need blood, nor gore, to cause visceral emotional response in the viewer. scenes and themes will be distressing- as really, that's the point.

Tokyo Godfathers-Pros: a transwoman, a (self-identified) homeless bum, and a runaway teen girl find a newborn in the baby on christmas. incredibly wholesome, somehow, and grounded in reality, with wonderful animation from the tragically late satoshi kon. -Cons: it is grounded in realism, and sometimes, people are dicks. mild transphobia warning, too, but in-universe- the transwoman herself is portrayed with kindness and allowed to be her own (wonderful!!!) person. still, viewer be mindful.

Kino no Tabi (the first series is my preferred, the second is shinier but lacks emotional impact- in my onion.) -Pros: mostly episodic, very unique series that can be gritty where it counts and kind where it matters. -Cons: some scenes or themes might be disturbing. finding it's not easy, either, and unfortunately, i don't think the novels are being translated right now, either.

Spice and Wolf-Pros: it's mostly about economics. there are shenanigans, a harvest god, and a slowly burgeoning romance, sure, but it's still mostly about economics. -Cons: there are moments of cheesecake and comedy, and moments that may cause distress to the viewer. it may or may not be to your taste.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica-Cons: yeah i know, it's moeblobs. -Pros: you're gonna watch 'em die, though, in case that may interest you. it's quite a good subversion of the magical girl genre overall. somehow volks hasn't made an MDD of anyone from the series and i will never understand how that didn't happen.

Wolf Children: Ame to Yuki-Pros: watch a family grow together as a newly-single mother does her best to raise her twin children after the tragic loss of their father. -Cons: keep tissues handy. certain scenes or themes may be uncomfortable.

Lupin III (Red Jacket, Ghibli, and the new 3D animation are all A+) pros: heist comedy elevated to an art form before half (or more!) of the people reading this were born. the english dubbed series that used to air on adult swim is a treat. cons: this franchise started in THE SIXTIES, so naturally, some shit has not aged well. certain series (fujiko mine) are darker than others in themes and material. the 3d movie that released recently is an excellent starting point.

Samurai Champloo-Pros: breakdancing samurai, a fascinating roster of characters, and a superb soundtrack by the tragically passed Nujabes. -Cons: it was made in the weird era of the transition from analog to digital animation and so the /series master/ was animated at a painfully low resolution, so even if there's a bluray out there (I haven't looked,) it will be an upscale, which doesn't always look the best. as well, there are scenes and themes that may make the viewer uncomfortable here and there.

The Works of Studio Ghibli Oh, I'm sorry, Ponyo too suffused with childhood wonder for you? My Neighbor Totoro not depressing enough? In addition to the infamous Grave of the Fireflies, Studio Ghibli has made a wealth of movies that aren't aimed squarely at the kodomo (children's) sector. -Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: climate change existential dread, the movie -Castle in the Sky: government obsession with obtaining weapons of mass destruction destroys everything beautiful, the movie -Pom Poko: human-caused deforestation and urbanization is destroying the natural world and all that live in it, the movie -Princess Mononoke: industrialization will be the death of everything beautiful in the world, the movie, with a side of sometimes everyone (and no one) is the villain when everyone is simply trying to survive -Howl's Moving Castle: The Physical Manifestation of Depression is a Liquid Ooze, the Movie, also War Is Bad It's not all depressing, but let it never be said that Hayao Miyazaki was subtle. Whisper of the Heart is a good coming-of-age story, Kiki's Delivery Service is a classic, Tales from Earthsea is divisive among fans of Ursula K. Le Guin but I personally liked it. From one studio alone there is a wealth of opportunities.

And that's really the point. These are just some from the top of my head. There are so very many options outside of the cute-girls-doing-cute-things genre that I couldn't list them all if I was here for a week. Or as Madoka Magica so ruthlessly showcases, even series that appear a certain way on the surface might not be what you bargained for once you look into them! These are all (I think) mostly older, mainstream-appeal series that should be easy to track down, too -- there are all kinds of singular animations like The Diary of Tortov Roddle, crowdfunded experiments like KICK-HEART, Masterpiece World Theatre renditions of classic (western) novels that never get talked about, films like A Silent Voice that confront social issues- and of course, series like Rozen Maiden that helped popularize this very hobby!

There is literally an ocean of content to explore from Japanese creators alone, and it opens up even more if you look into works from other parts of Asia- just look at how popular manwha have become, or Chinese animations like Leafie, a Hen Into the Wild! It's a genre unto itself, with all the breadth of content and inter-industry problems that come with it, and without any of the respect that similar art forms have been granted over the years. The way an entire culture's art form is often disparaged, disregarded, and belittled- and by extension, the way most of Asia's animated endeavors are often rolled up into that reductive dismissal along with anime and manga- is honestly Not Great, and there is absolutely a thread of xenophobia that runs through it. The industry has so very many problems (low wages, poor training, overwork of everyone ever, archaic financial modules, the exclusivity and breadth of merchandising necessary to turn a profit and how it leads to consumer burnout and disconnection over time, and yes, the way minors are portrayed not just in anime, but in Japanese media in general- and how much of that is actually bad (some of it is indeed,) and how much if it is cultural difference (I've heard people call the scene where the family in Totoro bathe together problematic because of the nudity, but I've also only heard people say that from the West)

-- none of the actual problems affecting the people who produce this medium are gonna improve when the general response to "animators frequently have to live at home to survive" is "that's what happens when you're a weeb." It's 5am and I'm gonna point out the problems in the narrative around how we discuss this genre of entertainment because it's important, damn you! Regardless, thank you for coming to my unasked for and overlong TED talk about animation on a doll collecting drama blog, feel free to call me a pathetic weeb etcetera on your way out- but while you do so, might I suggest you also go watch a choice animated series! My current go-to is Bofuri, which is a cute-girls-doing-cute-things moefied isekai series that I refuse to apologize for watching. Be free. (The battle scenes are great and it captures the feeling of learning to play a new MMO with your friends better than most video-game-based anime I've seen in a long, long time. does anyone even still remember .hack? how about serial experiments lain...?)

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #Anime

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oatbugs · 2 years

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mei. mei mei mei my darling. i just read up on your crush situation, and wow. what a ride huh.

first off, and i know other people have said this, but i'll say it again: you're so so young. and you have so much more time to meet new people, and to fall in love, and to let people fall in love with you, and you don't need to rush into all that now just because you feel like "this is the one" or because you're scared your time will run out. i turn 20 in two weeks, and i've had one serious relationship with someone who i thought i'd be together for a long time, and in the end it lasted a little less than a year, and i'm glad that i got to make that experience regardless.

which is what i wanna say next: your crush situation can be a good learning experience about how you'd like to be treated. you didn't waste any time, you just made new experiences, and once you find a new crush, you'll know how you want to be treated a little more, and you're gonna be able to communicate that more. no time is ever wasted. (i say this because my ex told me, upon breaking up with them, that they'd "wasted a whole year for nothing" which is wrong, because my time & company & affection was and is not a waste of time, and so is yours.)

now, i agree with all the other anons telling you to break up with your crush. it's obviously distressing you, and you said you want someone who can be with you now, which they aren't, so yeah. break up with them. but also, if you want closure, you can just text them, yeah? ask them why they're ghosting you, if you haven't already. because i have absolutely been "the crush" in many many situations, because i struggle a lot with mental health - not to say that your crush is, too, but like. there could be a million reasons why they're not texting back, and it's no use to stress out about it without knowing what's going on. take a step back and breathe, please, okay?

then, re: being scared you come off as manipulating - yes, i feel that too. so much. mostly because of my ex, and i always catch myself re-writing simple text messages because i think the wording sounds "too manipulating" and i can't even tell anymore if i am actually guilt-tripping someone or if i'm just shaped by my last relationship, but yeah. i get you so much, and it sucks so much, but also, i think we're all a little manipulating in our lives at some point, and we have a lot of time to learn how to minimise that, and sometimes, people will feel manipulated because of their own personal issues. and sometimes, like in the case of that person & their friends who told you you were manipulating, sometimes people are just assholes. like. those people don't sound like good people to me, and it sounds like you've been hurt by them a lot. so please, again, take a step back and breathe. you're okay. and if you're really scared about coming across as manipulating, you can just communicate that to whomever you're talking to, i know i asked people to like, call me out whenever i did something they didn't like.

lastly - mei, you'll be okay. this is not the end of the world. remember to breathe, and look at the sky for a minute, and take a step back whenever you feel overwhelmed - mentally and physically. just. take a step back, and look at what's in front of you, and i promise it's never as bad as it looks up close, okay? you'll be alright, i believe in you 💓🌟

hihihi thank u so much i appreciate this a lot !!!! you're defintely right, it was a cool experience liking them + i made some good memories and i got to have that crush feeling for a while which was nice ! i tried my best w them and gave them my time and i can gladly say i did what i could + i don't regret it ! we explored london and talked abt our interests for agessss and left voice note letters every day etc etc it was fun while it lasted and it's nice to acknowledge that it wasn't a waste, i rly appreciate that reminder :) also i feel like we've had some rly similar experiences djfhf

abt the manipulation thing : yh i think sometimes it is defintely a personal thing and i think that i've communicated w them that they can tell me if they feel like smth is off/they feel bad abt smth so i feel like at this point there's nothing else i can do...i appreciate all of ur reminders a lot !!!!

#asks #anon #♡♡♡#thank u thank u thank u #i care abt u a lot anon #i should give u a name i think this isnt the first ask youve sent me #starlight anon #cos the star and the heart . and when stars fall in love w the world starlight is made #so it makes sense

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fqirycollective · 2 years

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tw * mentions of neglect, depression, and SH

Subject: Wondering if I have OSDD

I’m not sure if this is the place to ask, and if not I’m deeply sorry, but this has been on my mind for a long while and the internet is no help at all. I recently learned what OSDD is and I think I could be struggling from it. I’ve had issues with dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization for years and a past therapist has confirmed this.

I cannot afford a therapist right now, even though I desperately want one to help me through my questions and put a label on my experiences, bc even if it isn’t OSDD, I know it has to be something. I dissociate every second it feels like and I don’t even notice until I “come back.” I’m sorry for a lack of description, I just don’t quite understand how to explain what happens.

As of now I’m diagnosed with GAD, gender dysphoria (transguy), and depression. I’ve had a very traumatic childhood (I’m 20 now) and the reason OSDD stuck out to me in the first place is bc I’ve had characters from tv shows and real life people comfort me in stressful situations or hard moments of my life. I didn’t think anything of it at the time and just figured that I imagined them bc I needed protection from a parent or guardian, since I was severely neglected as a child and always left to fend for myself.

Throughout different years of my life different characters would comfort me (beg me not to SH when I was a child, for example). I’d imagine them in the room I was in or I’d just see them in my head. As an adult, one usually comes to me if I’m really stressed or have an argument with my partner. They’ll soothe me and “leave” when I feel better. Again, I’m sorry if this comes off as offensive, I know I’m not educated enough on OSDD, I just really want answers. I’m sorry if I’m actually just imagining characters in my head comforting me bc of trauma/lack of parental help and this isn’t anything like OSDD at all.

I know you aren’t a therapist and you don’t have to answer this ask if you don’t want to or feel uncomfortable (I would hate to make anyone feel that way). From your experience and knowledge on the subject, would you say that I could have OSDD? (before I knew of OSDD, I very strongly thought that I had Derealization/depersonalization disorder, and then I learned of fictional characters becoming alters through trauma, which drew me to learn more of OSDD).

as you said, we aren't professionals. however, we can help guide a bit. we have a post on how to properly self diagnose coming actually, and that may be of interest to you. my answer: it could be? i don't know you well enough to say for sure. it's unlikely to have only fictive alters, but i wouldn't say it's totally impossible.

general advice would be to notice when they come out. is it in times of distress? do they ever feel like they take over or do you notice your body moving on autopilot with you not doing it? has anyone ever called you a different name (that isn't a deadname of course, transphobia sucks)? do you feel like you experience emotional and/or physical amnesia around traumatic events? all of those questions can help you determine. i also suggest doing more general research and join the community (if you want) as a questioning system to learn more about it from others as well. note any symptoms of osdd you may experience, such as a disturbance of identity (like frequently switching names, feeling a different age without regressing, feeling a different gender than you are, flunctuating sexuality, etc.) and reading up on similar disorders such as bpd to eliminate them before self diagnosis.

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southeastasianists · 3 years

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Making movies about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender can be daunting under Singapore’s restrictive censorship laws, but that didn’t stop one filmmaker from doing so in his directorial debut. Getting his work to the big screen, however, was a whole other obstacle to overcome.

It only took one month for Jet Ho to conceptualize, write, cast and film Aqua Man, a short film about a young Singaporean boy that looks at the hot-button topic of gay conversion therapy. But that was just the beginning of his struggle for anyone to see it. Because it touches the media third rail of homosexuality, his story of student Jun Jie, his distressed mom, and Bible-armed pastor was rejected at least 15 times, by Ho’s count, by streaming platforms and film festivals.

“It [was] quite fast to film, but it took me a very hard time to promote the film,” Ho told Coconuts. “It basically was rejected everywhere from the start until I decided to just launch it on YouTube and give it some justice to itself.”

There’s no Jason Momoa here coming to the rescue, so why Aqua Man? Aqua sounds similar to a derogatory Hokkien term for gay men, Ah Kua, which literally means transvestite. In Ho’s film, actor Josh Lim is the titular character, who comes home one day to find his mother has brought a pastor to pray the gay out of him with a praying ritual form of conversion therapy.

It’s a timely topic as Singaporeans clash over extending or suppressing LGBT rights and recognition in an uneven struggle that has seen one side given a voice over the other.

Because of the subject matter, Aqua Man could never be shown on television, as films featuring characters who are gay – an “alternative sexuality” to government censors – is automatically rated 21 and up.

That restriction, most often applied to movies containing nudity, was not something Ho was OK with. After all, he wanted to reach those who would most identify with his protagonist.

“It is a societal problem that starts out even with kids at a very young age,” Ho said, referring to the younger generation who struggle with their sexual identity. “This has got nothing to do with explicit pornographic material, that perhaps needs a higher age rating.”

So in December he premiered his film on YouTube, where it has struggled to find a large audience.

Unseen …

The commercial photographer for the National Museum and National Geographic channel said he was motivated to make his movie by the lack of a quality queer representation in Singaporean television shows and movies.

Queer characters portrayed as regular people are unheard of on national television, where they are relegated to cross-dressing tropes by the likes of Jack Neo and drag queen Kumar, or are sources of comic relief, such as transgender comedian Abigail Chay.

There is some good – last year’s depiction of a family man turning to drag culture to feed his family was nominated for two Taiwanese film awards – and a whole lot of ugly, such as Mediacorp TV series My Guardian Angels, which portrayed a gay character as an STD-infected pedophile.

“They just include this character and always hint him in a very bad light or bad influence, driving a misrepresentation of the LGBT population in Singapore,” Ho said. “Let’s say Disney has one gay character in a movie and it is premiering in Singapore. I can tell you a lot of people will make a big fuss out of it.”

Indeed Disney’s Beauty and the Beast did kick up some dust in 2017 from church councils, which denounced the film winning a PG-rating despite the inclusion of a gay character.

That said, Singaporeans are more open to discuss gender identity today than two decades ago, Ho said, noting that Aqua Man is set nearly 20 years ago, a time he thinks Singapore’s cultural conservatism was at its peak.

Now, in 2021, arch-conservatives appear to feel they are on the defensive, denouncing “woke cancel mobs” over arguments that seem to have moved on from their point of view as negative LGBT views continue to tick down. Singapore’s strain of evangelical Christianity remains a potent force, and the intersection between faith and family is an area Ho mined for his film.

“Sometimes when the parents face such a problem that is already existing in our very conservative society, they often find a solution with the church or with religious institutions but the answer to whether it is the right or the most moral approach, nobody is there to judge,” Ho said. “I find this dilemma in the film very interesting because there is no right or wrong answer.”

Ho, who is not Christian, had only heard stories of conversion therapy. So, prior to filming, he dove a little deeper into the topic by attending weekly sermons at churches and interviewing pastors in hope of portraying them more accurately. He sounded grateful for the opportunity.

“I don’t want to put any church or any organization in bad light, I want to make the whole film look as authentic as it is. With the church, I was very thankful to come out with this concept,” he said, describing them as “loving” and “very understanding.”

… but not unheard

Aqua Man could have reached a wider audience and been better funded were it not for the strict laws, believes Ho, who forked out S$16,000 (US$12,000) to make it. Even film festivals and competitions turned him down.

“The main problem was when I tried to send out to a few film competitions, I wasn’t notified on whether I lost or anything. Locally, like streaming platforms I actually send out a few emails to their main email and even directly to people who work there but I received zero emails,” he said. “That’s how serious it is, they are so repulsive against LGBT-centric films.”

Ho submitted his film to the Singapore International Film Festival and HBO Asia’s Invisible Stories series, which is marketed as surfacing untold Singapore stories. They were among the more than dozen platforms he says rejected or ignored his inquiries. But he took comfort in one HBO representative’s note.

“Even though we didn’t win anything, it was actually a great relief because she personally wrote an email to us, and that’s the only reply that we got. At first, I really thought the film was so bad and negative to the extent that it doesn’t deserve a place or it doesn’t deserve anything,” he said.

Though direct to YouTube wasn’t his first choice, Ho was gratified by the response he got.

“After the film was produced, it was very astonishing to find that many people actually reach out to say that this happened to them personally so it became a true story that I wrote. Initially, I just dictated the story and something I think will be interesting to show but it became a true story, told by people who watch the film,” he said.

Local LGBT group Oogachaga had also shared the movie on its online platform.

And it’s not the end of the road for Ho, who is still pushing for Aqua Man to reach a wider audience. He’s also writing another script and pledging to continue chasing stories on social issues such as transgenderism, racism, and abuse.

“Singapore has to have its own culture when it comes to filmmaking, our culture is our identity. We should portray more and show more, we shouldn’t hide it we should embrace it and move forward,” he said. “Trying to conceal the whole LGBT-centric material is not going to be helpful for us to progress into a more empathetic society.”

#Southeast Asia #Singapore #LGBTQIA Issues #Movies #Aqua Man

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ziracona · 3 years

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Hello! I have always believed that Michael needed better doctors and good treatment. He was simply billed as "Evil". Sometimes I think that at that time they were unaware or ignorant of mental illness, and that is why Michael did not recover. I wish it had been treated better. I would like to know your opinion about it ;v;

Oh, absolutely. Michael is a very tragic character, and what happened to him was almost entirely Loomis’ fault, secondarily the system and his parents’, and like onyl 0.8% his own. It’s true that mental health aid has historically been really bad in most places, and even today treatment and acceptance—even in specifically medical settings—tend to be abysmal. Of course people knew less than they do now about how psychological stuff works, but bias, cruelty, and superstition as well as a system that enables and even to degrees outright encourages that is to blame for the awful treatment people woth mental illnesses and personality disorders faced and continue to face, not just a lack of knowledge, and the history is really heavy and awful to look over. : ( It’s horrific some of the things doctors have done and do to people just trying to get help.

Like, in Michael’s case, we’ve had a name and understanding of psychosis since the 1800s. Canonically, by the time the poor kid was six years old, he was hearing voices telling him to do bad things to people. He told his parents, seeking help, and they did nothing to help him—just told him it was his imagination—despite knowing hos grandfather had suffered the same symptoms. If they had only taken him seriously and given him therapy and possibly medication too, Judith never would have died. (I am not goong to say it every time, but all this information is official canon) Michael’s reason for killing his family members is wanting the vocies talking to him to be quiet, because it’s agonizing. If you’ve ever had intrusive thoughts (stuff like “pull into oncoming traffic” or “break that and see what happens” and such that don’t actually compell or force you to do it at all, and are always things you as a person deeply do not want to do, but nevertheless are really annoying or distressing to hear in your head), imagine that cranked up to 1000, endless and constant, but from voices that seem to come from around you instead of in your head. Especially as a young child, with no understanding what is happening to you, this would be incredibly scary and distressing—doubly so when dismissed by your parents, whose sole job is supposed to be to love and protect you.

The voices say they’ll be quiet if Michael kills Judith, so Halloween night, he does. Important to note here Michael is recently six years old at the time, which developmental psych literally is not old enough to have a complete understanding what death itself is, let alone complex morality. You /cannot/ be evil at six, you simply don’t have a complex enough understanding of right and wrong or of consequence to /be/ evil. Also at this age, usually kids see death as a vague concept, but one that applies to people they don’t know only, not to them and their loved ones. In Halloween 1978, immediately after stabbing Judith, Michael looks away while he keeps doing it, and his breathing speeds up in a scared way. He barely looks at the body, and immediately goes down stairs to wait for his parents—probably for them to fix it—and does nothing to flee or hide what he’s done. He looks traumatized when they take his mask off. (Lots of little notes here like that Judith when she sees him seems annoyed but not very, and when he attacks her, tries to shield herself and call to him to stop, rather than fleeing or fighting back, which [appealing instead of fight or flight] is pretty exclusively something you only would use if attcked by someone you are on good terms with—I mean, Michael is six—if Judith had /tried/ to fight back, no way she would have died—so there’s less than nothing to indicate they had anything but a loving familial sibling relationship. But if I list all these I’m gonna launch into my six page Michael Myers meta so I will speed through the rest.)

Anyway! Sorry, I have many feelings. About...everything. Including Michael for sure. So, immediately after killing Judith, Michael stops talking. He also shows other psychosis and trauma readily recognized side effects, like catatonia, slowed movement. In Halloween 1978c Dr. Loomis claims he tried to treat Michael for eight years, then spent another seven trying to keep him locked up because he realized he was evil. This is a /blatant/ lie, as in film canon Loomis, by Michael’s review hearing I believe four months in? Six or less for sure, I believe it is four. Loomis has /already/ become convinced Michael is a demon in human form, faking his symptoms, and itching to kill again. The other doctors think Loomis is crazy, as does the other doctor who examines Michael, but they’re awful people so they let him stay Michael’s doctor anyway, even though they refuse to move him to Litchfield maximum security. By this time only a few months in, Loomis is canonically also threatening the six year old in his care and constantly telling him he is an evil being who wants to get out and terrorize again. (Also, I will die enraged the sentance Michael gets for killing Judith is to remain locked in solitary in a sanitorium for /15/ years, until he turns 21, at which point he will be tried as an adult for murder??? The fuck?? You CANNOT charge a 6 year old’s crime in adult court! ‘Tried as an adult’ is meant for like, when a 17 year old dismembers their family and eats them! It’s for particularly heinous crimes, committed by someone /very/ close to being legally an adult, and that /only/. The idea of waiting fifteen years to try someone as an adult for something done at age six is laughable and sick).

Okay this is already long, I get carried away rip. Uhhh, anyway, yeah. In Smith’s Grove, Michael is visited by mom and Laurie once, then never sees any of his family again, because his dad hates him and forbids the others—finds out because Laurie is four and talks that they went /one/ time, and physically beats four year old Laurie for mentioning his name until she trauma blocks out ever having had a brother. From then on, Michael spends /fifteen/ years and all the dest of his developmental stages of childhood in a sanitorium with Dr. Loomis—a man who on wild religious superstition grounds assumes by his own admission /on sight/ that Michael is evil, and no other human contact. According to canon, Michael spends at least four hours of /every/ day with Loomis, his /only/ human contact, who threatens him, promises to stop him, and endlessly barrages him with “You’re evil, you’re not human, you want to kill again, I /will/ stop you,” and nothing else. He also canonically keeps Michael overdosed on a type of antipsychotic that, while a fine drug if used normally, if overdosed can deeply worsen symptoms, and can cause permanent brain damage.

Honestly, if a six year old is exposed yo major trauma, none of their issues are explained, legitimized, or believed, and almost all of their developmental stage is spent with endless voices they don’t know the cause of suggesting murder and violence, one human being and authority figure telling them over and over and over for fifteen years with no other constant in their life or human contact period that they are a demon in human form who wants to kill and is /going/ to do so again...? How else was that story ever going to end? I’ve said it before, but that’s beyond conditioning; it’s lab growing a human child to one day walk out and murder Laurie Strode with a large kitchen knife.

I stand by Halloween is a greek tragedy more than a slasher, and Michael and Laurie are both victims. He’s the Asterios, she’s the Ariadne. Loomis the Minos, the real villain. (Or the Poseidon choose your poison).

Anyway, I 100% agree! If he had just gotten help from his parents, Judith would have never died. If he’d had good doctors, none of the events of 1978 would have come to pass, or anything after it. Loomis single-handedly causes the deaths in 1978 himself through years of cruelty, and bigoted bias towards a small child in his care who needed his help, not his abuse, but he chose to break as much as he possibly could despite his responsibilities as a doctor, an adult, and a human.

If you’re interested, I did a canon-deep-dive character study short story on Michael on AO3! Halloween is such a sad story but it’s fascinating. God, poor Michael and Laurie deserved so much better than they got. It’s a testament to Michael’s character that even after 15 years of Dr. Loomis, he really only kills his intented target(s) in search of quiet from the voices, and anyone who sees him/would be a threat, and not other people. Makes no attempt to kill any of the kids in Halloween 2018, and only kills Bob when he literally opens the door to his hiding spot and Michael is found and Bob becomes a threat to him. In H20, after Michael has had 20 years on his own, you get arguably the least brutal Michael, who intentionally passes on killing the mother and child, and the security guard he walks right past, because they don’t see him and thus he doesn’t /have/ to. Halloween II is less intentionally avoiding, but even then he still does the same multiple times too, like with the old lady making a sandwich, or the scene in the incubator room. Anyway he desevered better fuck Loomis all my homies hate Loomis.

#ask #anonymous #michael myers #halloween #halloween 1978 #halloween II #Halloween H20 #Halloween 2018 #note: Michael is written /very/ differenly in the different timelines. different writers took complrtely dofferent approaches to hin as a #person. and his motives. so unless I state otherwise I am always talking exclusively about the version of Michael from the H20. 2018. & DbD #timelines. since those are all largely the same character. unlike the 3-4 RZ and resusrection or the novelization etc #they’re seperate universes w different canons. i am only really interedted in core/OG canon and its offshoots #its /direct/ offshoots haha #laurie strode #sam loomis #Isolation (fic)#Isolation #meta #michael myers meta #long post #me: I am not gonna do the six page breakdown ima do an overview #me: doesn’t do the six pages but damn well doesn’t do the short version either #i can’t help it you found an intense passion topic

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letterboxd · 3 years

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Careful How You Go.

Ella Kemp explores how film lovers can protect themselves from distressing subject matter while celebrating cinema at its most audacious.

Featuring Empire magazine editor Terri White, Test Pattern filmmaker Shatara Michelle Ford, writer and critic Jourdain Searles, publicist Courtney Mayhew, and curator, activist and producer Mia Bays of the Birds’ Eye View collective.

This story contains discussion of rape, sexual assault, abuse, self-harm, trauma and loss of life, as well as spoilers for ‘Promising Young Woman’ and ‘A Star is Born’.

We film lovers are blessed with a medium capable of excavating real-life emotion from something seemingly fictional. Yet, for all that film is—in the oft-quoted words of Roger Ebert—an “empathy machine”, it’s also capable of deeply hurting its audience when not wielded by its makers and promoters with appropriate care. Or, for that matter, when not approached by viewers with informed caution.

Whose job is it to let us know that we might be upset by what we see? With the coronavirus pandemic decimating the communal movie-going experience, the way we accommodate each viewer’s sensibilities is more crucial than ever—especially when so many of us are watching alone, at home, often unsupported.

In order to understand how we can champion a film’s content and take care of its audience, I approached women in several areas of the movie ecosystem. I wanted to know: how does a filmmaker approach the filming of a rape and its aftermath? How does a magazine editor navigate the celebration of a potentially triggering movie in one of the world’s biggest film publications? How does a freelance writer speak to her professional interests while preserving her personal integrity? How does a women’s film collective create a safe environment for an audience to process such a film? And, how does a publicist prepare journalists for careful reporting, when their job is to get eyeballs on screens in order to keep our favorite art form afloat?

The conversations reminded me that the answers are endlessly complex. The concerns over spoilers, the effectiveness of trigger warnings, the myriad ways in which art is crafted from trauma, and the fundamental question of whose stories these are to tell. These questions were valid decades ago, they will be for decades to come, and they feel especially urgent now, since a number of recent tales helmed by female and non-binary filmmakers depict violence and trauma involving women’s bodies in fearless, often challenging ways.

Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman, in particular, has revived a vital conversation about content consideration, as victims and survivors of sexual assault record wildly different reactions to its astounding ending. Shatara Michelle Ford’s quietly tense debut, Test Pattern, brings Black survivors into the conversation. And the visceral, anti-wish-fulfillment horror Violation, coming soon from Dusty Mancinelli and Madeleine Sims-Fewer, takes the rape-revenge genre up another notch.

These films come off the back of other recent survivor stories, such as Michaela Coel’s groundbreaking series I May Destroy You (which centers women’s friendship in a narrative move that, as Sarah Williams has eloquently outlined, happens too rarely in this field). Also: Kata Wéber and Kornél Mundruczó’s Pieces of a Woman, and the ongoing ugh-ness of The Handmaid’s Tale. And though this article is focused on plots centering women’s trauma, I acknowledge the myriad of stories that can be triggering in many ways for all manner of viewers. So whether you’ve watched one of these titles, or others like them, I hope you felt supported in the conversations to follow, and that you feel seen.

Weruche Opia and Michaela Coel in ‘I May Destroy You’.

* * *

Simply put, Promising Young Woman is a movie about a woman seeking revenge against predatory men. Except nothing about it is simple. Revenge movies have existed for aeons, and we’ve rooted for many promising young (mostly white) women before Carey Mulligan’s Cassie (recently: Jen in Coralie Fargeat’s Revenge, Noelle in Natalia Leite’s M.F.A.). But in Promising Young Woman, the victim is not alive to seek revenge, so it becomes Cassie’s single-minded crusade. Mercifully, we never see the gang-rape that sparks Cassie’s mission. But we do see a daring, fatal subversion of the notion of a happy ending—and this is what has audiences of Emerald Fennell’s jaw-dropping debut divided.

“For me, being a survivor, the point is to survive,” Jourdain Searles tells me. The New York-based critic, screenwriter, comedian—and host of Netflix’s new Black Film School series—says the presence of death in Promising Young Woman is the problem. “One of the first times I spoke openly about [my assault], I made the decision that I didn’t want to go to the police, and I got a lot of judgment for that,” she says. “So watching Promising Young Woman and seeing the police as the endgame is something I’ve always disagreed with. I left thinking, ‘How is this going to help?’”

“I feel like I’ve got two hats on,” says Terri White, the London-based editor-in chief of Empire magazine, and the author of a recently published memoir, Coming Undone. “One of which is me creating a magazine for a specific film-loving audience, and the other bit of me, which has written a book about trauma, specifically about violence perpetrated against the body. They’re not entirely siloed, but they are two distinct perspectives.”

White loved both Promising Young Woman and I May Destroy You, because they “explode the myth of resolution and redemption”. She calls the ending of Promising Young Woman “radical” in the way it speaks to the reality of what happens to so many women. “I was thinking about me and women like me, women who have endured violence and injury or trauma. Three women every week are still killed [in the UK] at the hands of an ex-partner, or somebody they know intimately, or a current partner. Statistically, any woman who goes for some kind of physical confrontation in [the way Cassie does] would end up dying.”

She adds: “I felt like the film was in service to both victims and survivors, and I use the word ‘victims’ deliberately. I call myself a victim because I think if you’ve endured either sexual violence or physical violence or both, a lot of empowering language, as far as I’m concerned, doesn’t reflect the reality of being a victim or a survivor, whichever way you choose to call yourself.” This point has been one many have disagreed on. In a way, that makes sense—no victim or survivor can be expected to speak to anyone else’s experience but their own.

Carey Mulligan and Emerald Fennell on the set of ‘Promising Young Woman’.

Likewise, there is no right or wrong way to feel about this film, or any film. But a question that arises is, well, should everyone have to see a film to figure that out? And should victims and survivors of sexual violence watch this film? “I have definitely been picky about who I’ve recommended it to,” Courtney Mayhew says. “I don’t want to put a friend in harm’s way, even if that means they miss out on something awesome. It’s not worth it.”

Mayhew is a New Zealand-based international film publicist, and because of her country’s success in controlling Covid 19, she is one of the rare people able to experience Promising Young Woman in a sold-out cinema. “It was palpable. Everyone was so engaged and almost leaning forwards. There were a lot of laughs from women, but it was also a really challenging setting. A lot of people looking down, looking away, and there was a girl who was crying uncontrollably at the end.”

“Material can be very triggering,” White agrees. “It depends where people are personally in their journey. When I still had a lot of trauma I hadn’t worked through in my 20s, I found certain things very difficult to watch. Those things are a reality—but people can make their own decisions about the material they feel able to watch.”

It’s about warning, and preparation, more than total deprivation, then? “I believe in giving people information so they can make the best choice for themselves,” White says. “But I find it quite reductive, and infantilizing in some respects, to be told broadly, ‘Women who have experienced x shouldn’t watch this.’ That underestimates the resilience of some people, the thirst for more information and knowledge.” (This point is clearly made in this meticulous, awe-inspiring list by Jenn, who is on a journey to make sense of her trauma through analysis of rape-revenge films.) But clarity is crucial, particularly for those grappling with unresolved issues.

Searles agrees Promising Young Woman can be a difficult, even unpleasant watch, but still one with value. “As a survivor it did not make me feel good, but it gave me a window into the way other people might respond to your assault. A lot of the time [my friends] have reacted in ways I don’t understand, and the movie feels like it’s trying to make sense of an assault from the outside, and the complicated feelings a friend might have.”

Molly Parker and Vanessa Kirby in ‘Pieces of a Woman’.

* * *

A newborn dies. A character is brutally violated. A population is tortured. To be human is to bear witness to history, but it’s still painful when that history is yours, or something very close to it. “Some things are hard to watch because you relate to them,” Searles explains. “I find mother! hard to watch, and there’s no actual sexual assault. But I just think of sexual assault and trauma and domestic abuse, even though the film isn’t about that. The thing is, you could read an academic paper on patriarchy—you don’t need to watch it on a show [or in a film] if you don’t want to.”

White agrees: “I’ve never been able to watch Nil by Mouth, because I grew up in a house of domestic violence and I find physical violence against women on screen very hard to watch. But that doesn’t mean I think the film shouldn’t be shown—it should still exist, I’ve just made the choice not to watch it.” (Reader, since our conversation, she watched it. At 2:00am.)

“I know people who do not watch Promising Young Woman or The Handmaid’s Tale because they work for an NGO in which they see those things literally in front of their eyes,” Mayhew says. “It could be helpful for someone who isn’t aware [of those issues], but then what is the purpose of art? To educate? To entertain? For escapism? It’s probably all of those.”

Importantly, how much weight should an artist’s shoulders carry, when it comes to considering the audiences that will see their work? There’s a general agreement among my interviewees that, as White says, “filmmakers have to make the art that they believe in”. I don’t think any film lover would disagree, but, suggests Searles, “these films should be made with survivors in mind. That doesn’t mean they always have to be sensitive and sad and declawed. But there is a way to be provocative, while leaning into an emotional truth.”

Madeleine Sims-Fewer in ‘Violation’.

Violation, about which I’ll say little here since it is yet to screen at SXSW (ahead of its March 25 release on Shudder) is not at all declawed, and is certainly made with survivors in mind—in the sense that in life, unlike in movies, catharsis is very seldom possible no matter how far you go to find it. On Letterboxd, many of those who saw Violation at TIFF and Sundance speak of feeling represented by the rape-revenge plot, writing: “One of the most intentionally thought out and respectful of the genre… made by survivors for survivors” and “I feel seen and held”. (Also: “This movie is extremely hard to watch, completely on purpose.”)

“Art can do great service to people,” agrees White, “If, by consequence, there is great service for people who have been in that position, that’s a brilliant consequence. But I don’t believe filmmakers and artists should be told that they are responsible for certain things. There’s a line of responsibility in terms of being irresponsible, especially if your community is young, or traumatised.”

Her words call to mind Bradley Cooper’s reboot of A Star is Born, which many cinephiles knew to be a remake and therefore expected its plot twist, but young filmgoers, drawn by the presence of Lady Gaga, were shocked (and in some cases triggered) by a suicide scene. When it was released, Letterboxd saw many anguished reviews from younger members. In New Zealand, an explicit warning was added to the film’s classification by the country’s chief censor (who also created an entirely new ‘RP18’ classification for the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, which eventually had a graphic suicide scene edited out two years after first landing on the streaming service).

“There is a duty of care to audiences, and there is also a duty of care to artists and filmmakers,” says Mayhew. “There’s got to be some way of meeting in the middle.” The middle, perhaps, can be identified by the filmmaker’s objective. “It’s about feeling safe in the material,” says Mia Bays of the Birds’ Eye View film collective, which curates and markets films by women in order to effect industry change. “With material like this, it’s beholden on creatives to interrogate their own intentions.”

Filmmaker Shatara Michelle Ford is “forever interrogating” ideas of power. Their debut feature, Test Pattern, deftly examines the power differentials that inform the foundations of consent. “As an artist, human, and person who has experienced all sorts of boundary violation, assault and exploitation in their life, I spend quite a lot of time thinking about power… It is something I grapple with in my personal life, and when I arrive in any workplace, including a film set.”

In her review of Test Pattern for The Hollywood Reporter, Searles writes, “This is not a movie about sexual assault as an abstract concept; it’s a movie about the reality of a sexual assault survivor’s experience.” Crucially, in a history of films that deal largely with white women’s experiences, Test Pattern “is one of the few sexual-assault stories to center a Black woman, with her Blackness being central to her experience and the way she is treated by the people around her.”

Brittany S. Hall in ‘Test Pattern’.

* * *

Test Pattern follows the unfolding power imbalance between Renesha (Brittany S. Hall) and her devoted white boyfriend Evan (Will Brill), as he drives her from hospital to hospital in search of a rape kit, after her drink was spiked by a white man in a bar who then raped her. Where Promising Young Woman is a millennial-pink revenge fantasy of Insta-worthy proportions, Test Pattern feels all too real, and the cops don’t come off as well as they do in the former.

Ford does something very important for the audience: they begin the film just as the rape is about to occur. We do not see it at this point (we do not really ever see it), but we know that it happened, so there’s no chance that, somewhere deeper into the story, when we’re much more invested, we’ll be side-swiped by a sudden onslaught of sexual violence. In a way, it creates a safe space for our journey with Renesha.

It’s one of many thoughtful decisions made by Ford throughout the production process. “I’m in direct conversation with film and television that chooses to depict violence against women so casually,” Ford tells me. “I intentionally showed as little of Renesha’s rape as humanly possible. I also had an incredibly hard time being physically present for that scene, I should add. What I did shoot was ultimately guided by Renesha’s experience of it. Shoot only what she would remember. Show only what she would have been aware of.

“But I also made it clear that this was a violation of her autonomy, by allowing moments where we have an arm’s length point of view. I let the camera sit with the audience, as I’m also saying, as the filmmaker, this happened, and you saw enough of it to know. This, for me, is a larger commentary on how we treat victims of assault and rape. I do not believe for one goddamn minute that we need to see the actual, literal violence to know what happened. When we flagrantly replicate the violence in film and television, we are supporting the cultural norm of needing ‘all of the evidence’—whatever that means—to ‘believe women’.”

Ford’s intentional work in crafting the romance and unraveling of Test Pattern’s leading couple pays off on screen, but their stamp as an invested and careful director also shows in their work with Drew Fuller, the actor who played Mike, the rapist. “It’s a very difficult role, and I’m grateful to him for taking it so seriously. When discussing and rendering the practice and non-practice of consent intentionally, I found it helpful to give it a clear definition and provide conceptual insight.

“I sent Drew a few articles that I used as tools to create a baseline understanding when it comes to exploring consent and power on screen. At the top of that list was Lili Loofbourow’s piece, The female price of male pleasure and Zhana Vrangalova's Teen Vogue piece, Everything You Need to Know about Consent that You Never Learned in Sex Ed. The latter in my opinion is the linchpin. There’s also Jude Elison Sady Doyle’s piece about the whole Aziz Ansari thing, which is a great primer.”

Sidney Flanigan in ‘Never Rarely Sometimes Always’.

Even when a filmmaker has given Ford’s level of care and attention to their project, what happens when the business end of the industry gets involved in the art? As we well know, marketing is a film’s window dressing. It has one job: to get eyeballs into the cinema. It can’t know if every viewer should feel safe to enter.

It would be useful, with certain material, to know how we should watch, and with whom, and what might we need in the way of support coming out. Whose job is it to provide this? Beyond the crude tool of an MPAA rating (and that’s a whole sorry tale for another day), there are many creative precautions that can be taken across the industry to safeguard a filmgoer’s experience.

Mayhew, who often sees films at the earliest stages (sometimes before a final cut, sometimes immediately after), speaks to journalists in early screenings and ensures they have the tools to safely report on the topics raised. In New Zealand, reporters are encouraged to read through resources to help them guide their work. Mayhew’s teams would also ensure journalists would be given relevant hotline numbers, and would ask media outlets to include them in published stories.

“It’s not saying, ‘You have to do this’,” she explains, “It’s about first of all not knowing what the journalist has been through themselves, and second of all, [if] they are entertainment reporters who haven’t navigated speaking about sexual assault, you only hope it will be helpful going forward. It’s certainly not done to infantilize them, because they’re smart people. It’s a way to show some care and support.”

The idea of having appropriate resources to make people feel safe and encourage them to make their own decisions is a priority for Bays and Birds’ Eye View, as well. The London-based creative producer and cultural activist stresses the importance of sharing such a viewing experience. “It’s the job of cinemas, distributors and festivals to realize that it might not be something the filmmaker does, but as the people in control of the environment it’s our job to give extra resources to those who want it,” says Bays. “To give people a safe space to come down from the experience.”

Pre-pandemic, when Birds’ Eye View screened Kitty Green’s The Assistant, a sharp condemnation of workplace micro-aggressions seen through the eyes of one female assistant, they invited women who had worked for Harvey Weinstein. For a discussion after Eliza Hittman’s coming-of-ager Never Rarely Sometimes Always, abortion experts were able to share their knowledge. “It’s about making sure the audience knows you can say anything here, but that it’s safe,” Bays explains. “It’s kind of like group therapy—you don’t know people, so you’re not beholden to what they think about you. And in the cinema people aren’t looking at you. You’re speaking somewhat anonymously, so a lot of really important stuff can come out.”

The traditional movie-going experience, involving friends, crowds and cathartic, let-loose feelings, is still largely inaccessible at the time of writing. Over the past twelve months we’ve talked plenty about preserving the magic of the big screen experience, but it’s about so much more than the romanticism of an art form; it’s also about the safety that comes from a feeling of community when watching potentially upsetting movies.

“The going in and coming out parts of watching a film in the cinema are massively important, because it’s like coming out of the airlock and coming back to reality,” says Bays. “You can’t do that at home. Difficult material kind of stays with you.” During the pandemic, Birds’ Eye View has continued to provide the same wrap-around curatorial support for at-home viewers as they would at an in-person event. “If we’re picking a difficult film and asking people to watch it at home, we might suggest you watch it with a friend so you can speak about it afterwards,” Bays says.

Julia Garner in ‘The Assistant’.

But, then, how can we still find this sense of community without the physical closeness? “It’s no good waiting for [the internet] to become kind,” she says. “Create your own closed spaces. We do workshops and conversations exclusively for people who sign up to our newsletter. In real-life meetings you can go from hating something to hearing an eloquent presentation of another perspective and coming round to it, but you need the time and space to do that. This little amount of time gives you a move towards healing, even if it’s just licking some wounds that were opened on Twitter. But it could be much deeper, like being a survivor and feeling very conflicted about the film, which I do.”

Conflict is something that Searles, the film critic, knows about all too well in her work. “Since I started writing professionally, I almost feel like I’m known for writing about assault and rape at this point. I do write about it a lot, and as a survivor I continue to process it. I’ve been assaulted more than once so I have a lot to process, and so each time I’m writing about it I’m thinking about different aspects and remnants of those feelings. It can be very cathartic, but it’s a double-edged sword because sometimes I feel like I have an obligation to write about it too.”

There is also a constant act of self-preservation that comes with putting so much of yourself on the internet. “I often get messages from people thanking me for talking about these subjects with a deep understanding of what they mean,” Searles says. “I really appreciate that. I get negative messages about a lot of things, but not this one thing.”

Michaela Coel in ‘I May Destroy You’.

* * *

With such thoughtful approaches to heavy content, it feels like we’re a long way further down the road from blunt tools like content and trigger warnings. But do they still have their place? “It’s just never seemed appropriate to put trigger warnings on any of our reviews or features,” White explains. “We have a heavy male readership, still 70 percent male to 30 percent female. I’m conscious we’re talking to a lot of men who will often have experienced violence themselves, but we don’t put any warnings, because we are an adult magazine, and when we talk about violence in, say, an action film, or violence that is very heavily between men, we don’t caveat that at all.”

Bays, too, is sceptical of trigger warnings, explaining that “there’s not much evidence [they] actually work. A lot of psychologists expound on the fact that if people get stuck in their trauma, you can never really recover from PTSD if you don’t at some point face your trauma.” She adds: “I’m a survivor, and I found I May Destroy You deeply, profoundly triggering, but also cathartic. I think it’s more about how you talk about the work, rather than having a ‘NB: survivors of sexual abuse or assault shouldn’t see this’.”

“It’s important to give people a feel of what they’re in for,” argues Searles. “A lot of people who have dealt with suicide ideation would prefer that warning.” While some worry that a content warning is effectively a plot spoiler, Searles disagrees. “I don’t consider a content warning a spoiler. I just couldn’t imagine sitting down for a film, knowing there’s going to be a suicide, and letting it distract me from the film.” Still, she acknowledges the nuance. “I think using ‘self-harm’ might be better than just saying ‘suicide’.”

Mayhew shared insights on who actually decides which films on which platforms are preceded with warnings—turns out, it’s a bit messy. “The onus traditionally has fallen on governmental censorship when it comes to theatrical releases,” she explains. “But streamers can do what they want, they are not bound by those rules so they have to—as the distributors and broadcasters—take the government’s censors on board in terms of how they are going to navigate it.

“The consumer doesn’t know the difference,” she continues, “nor should they—so it means they can be watching The Crown on Netflix and get this trigger warning about bulimia, and go to the cinema the next day and not get it, and feel angry about it. So there’s the question of where is the responsibility of the distributor, and where is the responsibility of the audience member to actually find out for themselves.”

The warnings given to an audience member can also vary widely depending where they find themselves in the world, too. Promising Young Woman, for example, is rated M in Australia, R18 in New Zealand, and R in the United States. Meanwhile, the invaluable Common Sense Media recommends an age of fifteen years and upwards for the “dark, powerful, mature revenge comedy”. Mayhew says a publicist’s job is “to have your finger on the pulse” about these cultural differences. “You have to read the overall room, and when I say room I mean the culture as a whole, and you have to be constantly abreast of things across those different ages too.”

She adds: “This feeds into the importance of representation right at the top of those boardrooms and right down to the film sets. My job is to see all opinions, and I never will, especially because I am a white woman. I consider myself part of the LGBT community and sometimes I’ll bring that to a room that I think has been lacking in that area, when it comes to harmful stereotypes that can be propagated within films about LGBT people. But I can’t bring a Black person’s perspective, I cannot bring an Indigenous perspective. The more representation you have, the better your film is going to be, your campaign is going to be.”

Bays, who is also a filmmaker, agrees: representation is about information, and working with enough knowledge to make sure your film is being as faithful to your chosen communities as possible. “As a filmmaker, I’d feel ill-informed and misplaced if I was stumbling into an area of representation that I knew nothing about without finding some tools and collaborators who could bring deeper insight.”

Carey Mulligan and Bo Burnham in ‘Promising Young Woman’.

This is something Ford aimed for with Test Pattern’s choice of crew members, which had an effect not just on the end product, but on the entire production process. “I made sure that at the department head level, I was hiring people I was in community with and fully saw me as a person, and me them,” they say. “In some ways it made the experience more pleasurable.” That said, the shoot was still not without its incidents: “These were the types of things that in my experience often occur on a film set dominated by straight white men, that we're so accustomed to we sometimes don’t even notice it. I won’t go into it but what I will say is that it was not tolerated.”

Vital to the telling of the story were the lived experiences that Ford and their crew brought to set. “As it applies to the sensitive nature of this story, there were quite a few of us who have had our own experiences along the spectrum of assault, which means that we had to navigate our own internal re-processing of those experiences, which is hard to do when we’re constructing an experience of rape for a character.

“However, I think being able to share our own triggers and discomfort and context, when it came to Renesha’s experience, made the execution of it all the better. Again, it was a pleasure to be in community with such smart, talented and considerate women who each brought their own nuance to this film.”

* * *

Thinking about everything we’ve lived through by this point in 2021, and the heightened sensitivity and lowered mental health of film lovers worldwide, movies are carrying a pretty heavy burden right now: to, as Jane Fonda said at the Golden Globes, help us see through others’ eyes; also, to entertain or, at the very least, not upset us too much.

But to whom does film have a responsibility, really? Promising Young Woman’s writer-director Emerald Fennell, in an excellent interview with Vulture’s Angelica Jade Bastién, said that she was thinking of audiences when she crafted the upsetting conclusion.

What she was thinking was: a ‘happy’ ending for Cassie gets us no further forward as a society. Instead, Cassie’s shocking end “makes you feel a certain way, and it makes you want to talk about it. It makes you want to examine the film and the society that we live in. With a cathartic Hollywood ending, that’s not so much of a conversation, really. It’s a kind of empty catharsis.”

So let’s flip the question: what is our responsibility, as women and allies, towards celebrating audacious films about tricky subjects? The marvellous, avenging blockbusters that once sucked all the air out of film conversation are on pause, for now. Consider the space that this opens up for a different kind of approach to “must-see movies”. Spread the word about Test Pattern. Shout from the rooftops about It’s A Sin. Add Body of Water and Herself and Violation to your watchlists. And, make sure the right people are watching.

Brittany S. Hall and Will Brill in ‘Test Pattern’.

I asked my interviewees: if they could choose one type of person they think should see Promising Young Woman, who would it be? Ford has not seen Fennell’s film, but “it feels good to have my film contribute to a larger discourse that is ever shifting, ever adding nuance”. They are very clear on who can learn the most from their own movie.

“A white man is featured so prominently in Test Pattern as a statement about how white people and men have a habit of centering themselves in the stories of others, prioritizing their experience and neglecting to recognize those on the margins. If Evan is triggering, he should be. If your feelings about Evan vacillate, it is by design.

“‘Allies’ across the spectrum are in a complicated dance around doing the ‘right thing’ and ‘showing up’ for those they are ostensibly seeking to support,” Ford continues. “Their constant battle is to remember that they need to be centering the needs of those they were never conditioned to center. Tricky stuff. Mistakes will be made. Mistakes must be owned. Sometimes reconciliation is required.”

It is telling that similar thoughts emerged from my other interviewees regarding Promising Young Woman’s ideal audience, despite the fact that none of them was in conversation with the others for this story. For that reason, as we come to the end of this small contribution to a very large, ongoing conversation, I’ve left their words intact.

White: I think it’s a great film for men.

Searles: I feel like the movie is very much pointed at cisgender heterosexual men.

Mayhew: Men.

White: We’re always warned about the alpha male with a massive ego, but we’re not warned about the beta male who reads great books, listens to great records, has great film recommendations. But he probably slyly undermines you in a completely different way. Anybody can be a predator.

Searles: The actors chosen to play these misogynist, rape culture-perpetuating men are actors we think of as nice guys.

White: We are so much more tolerant of a man knocking the woman over the head, dragging her down an alley and raping her, because we understand that. But rape culture is made up of millions of small things that enable the people who do it. We are more likely to be attacked in our own homes by men we love than a stranger in the street.

Mayhew: The onus should not fall on women to call this out.

Searles: It’s not just creeps, like the ones you see usually in these movies. It’s guys like you. What are you going to do to make sure you’re not like this?

Related content

Sex Monsters, Rape Revenge and Trauma: a work-in-progress list

Rape and Revenge: a list of films that fall into, and play with, the genre

Unconsenting Media: a search engine for sexual violence in broadcasting

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

If you need help or to talk to someone about concerns raised for you in this story, please first know that you are not alone. These are just a few of the many organizations and resources available, and their websites include more information.

US: RAINN (hotline 0800 656 HOPE); LGBT National Help Center; Pathways to Safety; Time’s Up.

Canada: Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centers—contacts by province and territory

UK/Ireland: Mind; The Survivors Trust (hotline 08088 010818); Rape Crisis England and Wales

Europe: Rape Crisis Network Europe

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theriverpersonshadow · 3 years

Text

Lamia Drama: Side Session (2)

Like I said, this got suuuuuper long. Also, I have no idea if I can even live up to the potential chaos I’ve set up XD

All the species belong to @vex-bittys

Previous | Next(?)

Nikolai had been rather thorough in his consideration for the troublemaker of the night. It sounded like the entire gimmick was to be around pygmy’s natural playfulness, so might as well play it up. Their games might have had some darker tones and general swearing, but they could tone it down for one night; a child would be best. But not too young. They needed to at least be old enough to comprehend that they were playing a game of make believe and hadn’t actually become a dragon or whatever silliness was going to happen.

So Piper was perfect. One of the older children, but still very much a child by both human and lamia standards. Really there were many candidates, Piper just caught his eye first, possibly because he was easy to pick out. He’d developed a mostly harmless condition where he had patches of scales on some of his bones, most notable on the forehead and back of his skull. It tended to itch a bit, but a little bit of extra hygiene and some topical creams fixed that right up. The little one wasn’t quite old enough to start looking for a home yet – socialization with other younglings was important for development after all – but he would be fine spending a few hours away from the others.

Piper was curled around Nikolai’s left forearm, little hands clinging to the fabric and tail coiled tight as he stubbornly hung upside down, giggling and chirping as the world went by. He was still small enough that falling wouldn’t actually hurt him even if he hit the floor.

Nikolai stopped in front of the door, looking down at Piper, “Remember how the game goes?”

Piper nodded, “I the boss!”

Keith had decided that Piper would be a sort of Co-DM. It was going to be an interesting session…

“Keith – the Chain – is also the boss. And remember, it’s all pretend, but pretend how you want.”

“I knoooowwsss! Not a hatchling!” Piper huffed, pouting and glaring at Nikolai.

Nikolai chuckled, “No, no you’re not.” He mentally added, but you’re not much older. “Tell me if it gets to be too much, okay?” He’d be keeping an eye out anyways – overstimulating a pygmy was harder than it might be with other breeds, but not impossible.

“It won’t!” Piper chirped. “Go in now!” He was pawing at the underside of Nikolai’s arm, wiggling restlessly.

“Alright, alright,” Nikolai said, opening the door to the break room. Everyone else had already taken their seats, snacks and drinks at the ready. It looked like someone had already set out a cup of Chai tea for him. “Why thank you,” he said has he settled into his spot, setting Piper down to wander the table.

Piper immediately went for Nikolai’s mug, curling around it and peaking inside. Before Nikolai could stop him, Piper stuck his tongue into it and hissed, darting away.

“BIT ME!” Piper cried, glaring at the offending mug from behind his hiding place… which was ironically Alex’s cup of tea – green and hibiscus instead of chai.

Nikolai sighed, reaching out to give Piper a few little pets, “It’s chai tea. I could’ve told you you might not like it. It’s spicy, bitter, and still hot.”

“Why?” Piper said.

“Um… because it has spices?” Nikolai said.

“Why drink?”

“Because I like it,” Nikolai said.

“No,” Piper said, crossing his arms. He was now holding Alex’s drink hostage instead, but had the good sense to not dunk his tongue in immediately. “Lady’s smarter. Smells good!”

“Aaaaw, thanks. That’d be the hibiscus. Gives it kinda a fruity flavor. Not sure if you’d want this either though. I don’t put sugar in it… And you might be a little young for caffeine at all, honestly?” Alex said. “Geez… and I though Trousle was small! You’re so little!”

“Mm hmm. I’m cute,” Piper said, rolling over to show the softer scales of his underbelly. Alex squeaked at the cuteness, gently stroking the softer tissue as Piper purred.

Oozy huffed and leaned over, gently headbutting Alex’s other hand. Alex chuckled and started petting him too… And then Trousle looked over, and Keith was trying to pretend he wasn’t, but Nikolai could see his tail trying to sneakily capture Alex in a snuggle.

“… I don’t have enough hands for all these lamia,” Alex said. “Who designed humans? I have some questions for them.”

“Me too! You need more hands! For more cuddles! But you’re very warm, I like it!” Trousle said, slithering over to lay beside her arm.

“You guys are so desperate,” Hux said with a deadpan expression. “It’s fu…” He looked over at Nikolai, who was giving him a death glare, hood fully spread and tail coiled, “…uuuuuuppernuttering embarrassing.”

Piper laughed and, as children do, immediately chirped, “Fuppernutter!”

“Fuppernutter,” Alex echoed.

“What is a fuppernutter?” Trousle said, head tilted in honest confusion.

Oozy said, “Is it related to peanut butter?”

“Maybe it’s cousins with flutters or shutters,” Keith said.

“Does it give nuts to fuppers?” Alex said.

“I think I’m having a stroke,” Hux said, looking desperately to Nikolai.

Nikolai smirked, leaning with his elbows against the table. “You brought this on yourself, now deal with it, you fuppernutter.”

Hux let out a loud grown. “Whyyyyy… Ugh. Aren’t we here to, like, game? Let’s do that. Please.”

Keith nodded, “Yeah, guess we are. Alright, let’s see the insanity! And remember, keep it clean.” He gestured to the kid. “Let’s start with… hmm… Nikolai?”

Nikolai straightened up and pulled out the character sheet, “A level 10 sorcerer who believes magic isn’t real. I’ve named him… Steve.”

“Steve?” Keith said, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “Oh boy- heh… Why the heck is that funny? Oh my gosh.” He snickered into his hand as Nikolai rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that funny.

“Alright. So we’ve got Steve. Hux?”

“Eh… I figured I’d go rogue and go Rogue this time. Level 20 changeling thief!”

“Branching out a little, eh? Sounds like fun!” Keith said, apparently not caring about the lack of name or any background info.

Hux was going to steal absolutely everything from everyone, wasn’t he?

“Alright, Trousle?”

Trousle grinned and quickly sent something to Keith, notified by a little ring. Keith’s eyes scanned it, nodding along, then grew wider, then he started laughing, “Dude. I know it’s dungeons and dragons, but… Oh man. I love it.”

“What?” Hux said. “C’mon, tell us!”

Trousle had a proud grin as he typed, “I’m a level 14 half dragon, dragonborn weredragon monk taking path of the ascendant dragon.”

“That is so much dragon,” Alex said. “I think he wins. He’s the dragon in Dungeons and Dragons. It’s him. He’s all the dragons.”

“I don’t know if that’s legal, but I kind of hope it is,” Nikolai said.

“The monk subclass is in playtesting still, and weredragons are from 2e. So very much no, but it’s a one shot and I do not care.” Trousle had his little arms on his hips as the voice app finished speaking for him.

“Oh man. This is, oh boy,” Keith said.

Piper was looking at Trousle in awe, “You’re dragon?!”

Trousle shook his head, typing, “Not really. But my character is!”

Piper nodded. “I pretend dragon too! RAAAAWR!!!!” He slithered over to Trousle and play-tackled him, chirping and giggling as Trousle snaked around the table in a little game of chase.

While that was going on, Keith continued, “Alex? What about you?”

“I’ve been meaning to try cleric, but, well… Personal issues, I guess. But hey, tricksters are awesome, so I’mma trickster cleric! Sounds like some fun little bit of chaos chaos,” she said. “Maybe I should’ve gone higher level… I’m only level 10.”

“Nooooob,” Hux said, tail end twitching.

“Nooooooooom!!!” Piper said. He’d managed to capture Trousle, getting a sort of impromptu piggy back ride on the other lamia. Trousle seemed more confused than distressed about this occurrence.

“And… Oh boy. Do I even wanna know, Oozy?” Keith said.

Oozy got a shit-eating grin as he passed a paper forward. “Memelord.”

“A what?”

“Found it online.”

“… Oh thor have mercy…” Keith said.

“Level 20.”

“Why did I let you just make whatever.”

“Because it’s hilarious.”

“You’re never playing this again.”

“That’s fine.”

“You can pickpocket Anubis mid-combat.”

“Yeeeep,” Oozy said. “It’s great, ain’t it?

“You’re proficient in all the saving throws.”

“You should know better than to tell me to go nuts.”

“Whyyyyyy” Keith hissed, rubbing away an anatomically impossible headache.

“Because it’s hiss-terical.” Oozy laughed out loud, and Kieth was trying to hide it, but he was joining in.

“I’m never doing this again,” Keith said, blatantly lying as he did every single time he more or less told them to be as ridiculous as possible for a noncanon oneshot.

“Yeah you are,” Hux said. “’cause you looooove us or something. Ya dork.”

“Heh, could say the same about you.”

“Nope. My soul’s just ice.”

“Ice soul?” Piper said, looking up from the captive Trousle. “Doctor’s here! Tha’s bad! Gotta get you warmed! Get the fire!”

“No. No fire,” Nikolai said. “He’s just being himself.”

“Hmm… okay! We play now? I’m the highest! Level 40!” Piper chirped. “I win all the things! ‘Cause I’m the dragon! Or the dungeon!” He was lightly bouncing in place, hands outstretched.

“Heh, there’s not really a win to this game… It’s just about having fun and playing pretend,” Keith said. “C’mon, I’ll let you on my side of the screen.” He gently scooped up Piper and draped him around his neck.

“I have the tall!” Piper yelled. “FEAR ME!”

“Oh nooooo!”

“Alright here we go…”

Memelord is a joke class I found online.

I’m actually using Path of the Ascendant Dragon in a campaign! Or I’m planning to, haven’t started yet.

#Lamia Drama #Lamia Drama Side Session #Lamia #Lamia Bitties #Vex-Bitties #Hux #Oozy #Trousle #Piper #Nikolai #Keith #dnd #I cannot hope to live up to the potential chaos I have started #This may or may not be the end #Because there is nothing I can write to do this justice

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corona-extra-newsletter · 4 years

Text

3/15/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

“About This Newsletter” has been moved to the bottom so it’s easier to skip if you’ve seen the other ones.

Some institutions do not update on Sundays. I have included the date of everything that is in question. That is also why this update is early :)

Thank you to @hysterical-random-things for letting me know about the first death in NYC and where to find that news, to @nanook2000 for information and links about KY’s response, and to @akashicsage for all of the good deets on San Diego county. If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Utah, Oregon, Washington, the Netherlands, Minnesota, Kentucky, Georgia, Nebraska, the UK, and possibly some others I missed here but included in the newsletter. Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included!

A word on mortality rates: they look very high in some places in the US right now because testing is limited to the sickest patients. People who have mild illness and are well enough to go or stay home may not have been tested until very recently when several states started mass testing/drive through testing. Testing is still limited in a lot of states, so this will be a rolling increase situation, I anticipate.

A word on case numbers: due to the aforementioned expansion of testing capacity in the US (thank fuck), case numbers are gonna grow in a really, really scary-looking way this week. This is not actually as scary as it seems, because it means we are catching more of the cases that would have gone unnoticed and have better information to help more people.

Just The Numbers

Case numbers

Total cases: 153,517 (10,982 new)

Total deaths: 5,735 (343 new)

China: 81,048 cases (27 new!!), 3204 deaths (10 new)

This gives us a mortality rate of ~3.95%

Excluding China: 72,469 cases (10,955 new), 2531 deaths (333 new)

143 countries/territories reporting cases, 9 are new today including:

Kazakhstan: 6 cases

Curacao: 2 cases

Namibia: 2 cases

Central African Republic: 1 case

Congo: 1 case

Equatorial Guinea: 1 case

Eswatini: 1 case

Mauritania: 1 case

Mayotte: 1 case

Italy is reporting over 20,000 cases with over 1400 deaths

Iran is reporting over 10,000 cases with over 700 deaths

South Korea, Spain, and Germany are reporting over 5,000 cases

SK reports 75 deaths

Spain reports 289 deaths

Germany reports 11 deaths

International/General News

Many places experiencing a worsening epidemic are following the lead of countries including South Korea and instituting drive-through testing and high-throughput testing. Some tests (like the ones being used in Vietnam) can have a result in as soon as an hour, enabling people to be quickly cleared or quarantined. (This is super cool science! Yay, science!)

Johns Hopkins University is putting on a webinar on Tuesday, 3/17. If you are interested, you can sign up/check it out here: https://www.jhsph.edu/events/2020/covid-19/

South Korea’s epidemic is currently being driven by a fringe religious group, which represents approximately 60% of all cases.

Italy’s health system is overwhelmed, which is likely why their case-fatality rate is so high. Doctors, nurses, respiratory techs, first responders, lab personnel, and everyone else involved in hospitals/health care are working their butts off and doing some frankly heroic shit to help people.

Singapore has instituted strict travel restrictions on visitors/transiting people from European countries, including Italy, France, Spain, and Germany; this is in addition to restrictions on visitors from Iran, China, and South Korea.

Some doctors from Washington state, USA (the ones seeing the most cases) are noticing that myocarditis (viral infection & inflammation of the heart) seems to be what kills patients, not the ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome) that requires ventilation. This is obviously in early stages and more research is ongoing.

The World Health Organization is setting up three hospitals with advanced respiratory care capabilities in Erbil, Baghdad, and Basra, Iraq.

Virology Corner

Today’s topic: where did SARS-CoV-2 come from?

SARS-CoV-2 is what’s known as a zoonotic virus. This means that it spread from animals to humans, and then gained the ability (through mutations) to pass from human to human.

We think that SARS-CoV-2 came from bats (Rhinopholus) or pangolins- which doesn’t mean we need to blame bats or pangolins for this, they’re innocent bystanders in the game of cat-and-mouse viruses and animals are constantly playing over evolutionary timescales. Also they’re pretty ding dang cute.

(Not to get much more depressing, but here goes, as humans encroach on more and more land and as climate change progresses, more zoonoses will affect humans. Sorry to be a mega-bummer.)

Question Tuesday

Today’s question comes from @adventurecalls! They ask (paraphrased because the ask got eaten): “If I do get sick, how do I know when it’s ok to go back to doing stuff?”

This is a really good question, and one that’s rapidly being worked out by public health people as we speak (whoa)!

In general, the thought is that once you’re totally recovered you’re not able to spread the virus, but there’s not concrete data on this. The best we have is this recent study in the Lancet (https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30566-3/fulltext) which indicates that people who recover shed virus for 20 days from symptom onset, whereas those who die shed virus continuously until their death, a maximum course of 37 days.

I obviously can’t give individual medical advice, which this is not, but the guidance from the WHO is excellent in general, and I will keep readers posted when there’s more information.

If you have questions, ask them and they’ll appear here in the next issue of corona extra!

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Canada: last updated 9:00 AM EST 3/15/20

Total cases: 249 confirmed (+5), 4 presumed (-1), 1 death (3/9/20, no change)

All current cases had symptoms starting between 1/17/20 and 3/9/20

One of these cases is the PM’s wife (mild case); the couple are in quarantine for 14 days now. This is not expected to affect Canada’s management, but is definitely a reminder that being a political leader does not grant one immunity to COVID-19.

12% of cases have required hospitalization

79% of cases are in travellers, and a further 8% in their close contacts

Affected provinces include (both confirmed and presumptive cases): BC (73, +0), Alberta (39, -2), Saskatchewan (2, +0), Manitoba (4, +0), Ontario (103, +2), Quebec (24, +3), Newfoundland and Labrador (1) New Brunswick (2, +0), and PEI (1).

Newly affected provinces include: Newfoundland and Labrador

4 cases in repatriated travellers

The Netherlands

I do not speak Dutch so please correct me if I’ve fucked something up royally

1135 confirmed cases, 20 deaths

176 new cases, 8 new deaths

Provinces (?) affected include: Drenthe (15), Flevoland (19), Friesland (10), Gelderland (100), Groningen (9), Limburg (129), North Brabant (446), North Holland (90), Overijssel (28), Utrecht (109), South Holland (110), and Zeeland (12).

I think this is all of them based on a quick Wikipedia investigation?

Interestingly they tested a bunch of people who work in a hospital and found a pretty high (4%) rate of asymptomatic infection. This seems like bad news (are these people spreading, etc) but it’s actually pretty good news because it means the mortality rate is lower than we think. I’ll update here as I find out more, which is hampered by my inability to speak Dutch.

New Zealand

8 confirmed cases, 2 probable cases

2 new cases, one of which was diagnosed in Australia

Both patients were on international flights and there is extensive contact tracing underway

2 patients have required hospitalization but both have been discharged

6700 people have completed self-isolation, 3015 people continue to be isolated

These people all deserve a medal, thank you for protecting your communities!

Golden Princess cruise berthed in Akaroa has one confirmed and two potential cases. The ship is quarantined now.

Norway

1077 cases, 166 of which are new

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

Only 1 confirmed death, possibly one more to be confirmed 3/16 but only official numbers go here

Also possible that it’s been confirmed and I don’t know because I don’t speak Norwegian

287 cases are due to community transmission, 710 acquired outside of Norway, the rest are undetermined

Locations where people became infected include Austria (491), Italy (144), Switzerland (14), UK (12), Spain (9), France (8), USA (7), Iran (5), China (1), Hong Kong (1), other countries with more than 3 cases (80), and other countries with less than 3 cases (20).

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (55, +3), Innlandet (72, +16), Møre og Romsdal (20, +4), Nordland (8, +0), Oslo (281, +59), Rogaland (127, +9), Troms og Finnmark (20, +4), Trøndelag (50, +4), Vestfold og Telemark (48, +9), Vestland (118, +9), and Viken (278, +47)

Good job Nordland! No new cases today! :D

United Kingdom in general: this is pretty rough because apparently the public health strategy coming from Boris is “herd immunity” aka let everyone get sick and then they’ll all be immune, since the only other way to get herd immunity is a vaccine that…..we don’t have yet. Boris does not understand how to medicine.

Fuck you, Boris.

1372 total cases (+20%), 232 are new today

35 total deaths, 14 new today

England

1099 total cases

Affected NHS regions are as follows: London (407), South East (175), Midlands (94), North East and Yorkshire (91), North West (76), East of England (71), and South West (61).

Deaths are not being reported by the PHS but I will do my best to split these out in the next few editions using news reports etc

Scotland

153 cases total and 1 death

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (6), Borders (7), Fife (7), Forth Valley (10), Grampian (12), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (39), Highland (2), Lanarkshire (16), Lothian (28), Shetland (11), and Tayside (15).

I don’t know if this is all of the health boards in Scotland but it sure is the ones that have confirmed covid19.

Wales

94 cases, 34 new

Welsh authorities are now recommending that anyone who develops a persistent cough and/or fever self-isolate, and only call 111 if they are unable to cope with their symptoms at home

Affected areas include: Blaenau Gwent County (3, +2), Bridgend County (1, +0), Caerphilly County (11, +4), Carmarthenshire County (7, +3), City & County of Swansea (18, +4), City of Cardiff (8, +3), Conwy County (1, +0), Flintshire County (1, +0), Isle of Anglesey (1, +0), Monmouthshire County (5, +1), Neath Port Talbot (11, +0), Newport City (5, +3), Pembrokeshire (2, +0), Powys County (5, +0), and Wrexham County (1, +0).

Newly affected areas include: Ceredigion County (1), Rhondda Cynon Taf County (2), Torfaen County (2), and Vale of Glamorgan (1).

Northern Ireland

45 cases, 11 new

This is all the data I have, sorry

This may actually be a thing that makes northern/southern Ireland cooperate, which is a small spark of hope in the raging dumpster fire that is this pandemic (I hyperbolize, but only slightly)

US in general: All this info is from the state & county health departments unless I say otherwise. The national response is a trash fire (but maybe hopefully improving this week??) CDC information is updated weekdays; total US cases are from 3/13 at 4 PM

1629 total cases, 41 deaths (2.5% mortality rate), with 46 states and DC reporting cases.

CDC is now recommending all in person gatherings with more than 50 people be canceled for the next 8 weeks. This sucks for me personally and probably a lot of you all too. Hang in there.

California: updated around 10 AM PST, 3/15/20

The state dept of health is not providing a ton of info right now, so all of this is coming from county health departments, which are doing really excellent work btw. Love local public health departments <3

My official take is that the higher level government orgs in the US are muzzled from above and therefore totally shitting the bed and the county-level public health officials are really stepping up to the plate

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 363, with 4 total deaths

Affected counties include: Alameda (7), Calaveras (2), Contra Costa (29), Fresno (2), Humboldt (1 - recovered), Imperial (2), Los Angeles (53, +11), Madera (1), Marin (5), Orange (14), Placer (8), Riverside (10), Sacramento (29) San Benito (3 - 2 recovered), San Diego (8), San Francisco (28), San Joaquin (8), San Luis Obispo (1), San Mateo (32), Santa Clara (91), Santa Cruz (7), Shasta (1), Solano (6), Sonoma (4), Stanislaus (2), Tulare (2), Ventura (5), Yolo (2)

San Diego: My numbers are not gonna include the federal quarantine situations at Miramar (for repatriated people and the Diamond Princess passengers) because that’s what makes sense right now regarding community transmission. If this changes I will say so.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Nevada, Plumas, San Bernardino, Santa Barbara, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, Yuba

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma

Newly affected counties include San Luis Obispo (3/14)

Colorado - last updated 3/14 at 3 PM

Colorado Springs Bridge Center is under an advisory for possible exposure

Drive-up testing is available now, in Denver and Lowry and possibly other places

1 death, 3/13/20, in El Paso County, a female in her 80s

Community spread has been confirmed

101 confirmed cases, 1 death

Affected counties include: Adams (6), Arapahoe (10), Denver (20), Douglas (4), Eagle (18), El Paso (3), Gunnison (6), Jefferson (9), Larimer (1), Mesa (1), Pitkin (2), Pueblo (1), Summit (2), Weld (3)

Out of state visitors who have tested positive are tallied separately. They are located in the following counties: Pitkin (9), Eagle (2), Routt (1), Denver (1), unknown (2 - wtf??)

Florida - last updated 145 AM EST 3/15/20

115 (+45) cases and 4 deaths (+0)

Florida has not yet confirmed community transmission but it’s almost certainly happening. I’m no longer separating counties with and without confirmed community transmission because of that.

Also, the numbers by county do not add up to the same total because locations are updated less frequently by FLDPH than the total number of cases.

Affected counties include: Alachua (1, +0), Broward (36, +16), Charlotte (1, +0), Clay (3, +2), Collier (5, +2), Duval (4, +3), Hillsborough (4, +2), Lee (5, +1), Manatee (4, +0), Miami-Dade (13, +5), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (1, +0), Orange (2, +1), Osceola (1), Palm Beach (5, +0), Pasco (2, +1) Pinellas (2, +0), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (1, +0) Seminole (1, +0), Volusia (5, +1)

Newly affected counties include: Citrus (1), St. John’s (1)

Port Everglades is under an advisory due to several cases connected to a cruise company based there.

Georgia: last updated 3/15 at 11:43 AM

Y’ALL THEY MADE A HASHTAG. I am NOT making this up. It’s #covid19ga if you want to use that, I guess???

99 cases, 1 death

Affected counties include: Bartow (9), Charlton (1), Cherokee (6), Clayton (2), Clarke (2), Cobb (19), Coweta (2), Dekalb (10), Dougherty (6), Fayette (5), Floyd (4), Fulton (20), Gordon (2), Gwinnett (4), Henry (1), Lowndes (2), Lee (2), Newton (1), and Polk (1).

Illinois: last updated 3/14/20

64 confirmed cases, 16 new, with confirmed community spread

New cases: Chicago (7), Cook not Chicago (4), Kane (1), Lake (1)

195 pending persons under investigation

Affected counties include Cook, Kane, McHenry

Newly affected counties include: Woodford (1), Cumberland (1), St. Clair (2), DuPage (1, first long-term care facility case)

Iowa: last updated 3/14/20

Total cases: 18, 1 new 3/14

Affected counties include: Carroll (1), Dallas (1), Harrison (1), Johnson (14), and Pottawattamie (1)

Community spread confirmed on 3/14/2020

Kansas: last updated 3/14/20

8 confirmed cases

Affected counties include: Johnson (5), Wyandotte (1), Butler (1), Franklin (1)

Kentucky: last updated 3/14 at 6 pm local time

18 confirmed cases

2 new cases, both in Fayette County

One patient in Nelson County tested positive but left the hospital and refused to quarantine himself. Don’t be like this guy. Please. I’m expecting a lot more cases to pop up in Nelson county over the next couple weeks all connected to this one patient.

Apparently there’s now a bunch of cops sitting outside his house to make sure he stays there. Ffs.

Affected counties include: Harrison (6), Fayette (7), Jefferson (3 or 4, possible repeat test), Bourbon (1), Nelson (1), and Montgomery (1)

Governor is recommending hospitals stop elective procedures and childcare centers plan for closure by 3/17/20. Also put in place a bunch of important protections for people who don’t have insurance and stuff. Good job, KY!

First patient has fully recovered! Yay!

Louisiana: last updated 9:30 am 3/15/20

91 cases reported, 14 new

2 deaths, 1 new

Parishes affected: Jefferson (12, +1), Lafourche (1, +0), Orleans (65, +12), St. Charles (2, +0), St. John the Baptist (1, +0), St. Tammany (4, +2), and Terrebonne (2, +1)

New parishes affected: Bossier (1), Caddo (1), St. Bernard (1)

Massachusetts: last updated 4 pm 3/14/20

138 cases (19 lab confirmed, 119 presumptive positives)

1 new lab confirmed case, 14 new presumptive positives

1083 people in quarantine

Affected counties include: Berkshire (9, 0% change), Essex (5, +150%), Middlesex (65, +8%), Norfolk (28, +16%), Suffolk (27, +3%), and Worcester (2, 0% change)

Newly affected counties include: Barnstable (1) and Bristol (1)

5 cases travel related, 104 (+10%) in one community transmission cluster, others unknown

11 hospitalized, 105 not hospitalized, the rest pending (22)

1 new hospitalization

Michigan: last updated 3/14/20 in the evening

33 cases, 8 new, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1), Charlevoix (1), Ingham (1), Kent (3), Macomb (2), Monroe (1), Montcalm (1), Oakland (9), St. Clair (1), Wayne (8), and Washtenaw (4)

Likely community transmission

Minnesota: last updated 3/15

35 cases, community transmission confirmed

Affected counties include: Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Olmstead, Ramsey, Renville, Stearns, Waseca, Washington, and Wright

County numbers are not currently being provided by MN dept of health, just ranges. Hennepin and Ramsey counties have 6-20 cases each.

Hopefully they’ll pull an Ohio and help a girl out soon

Drive through testing available in Olivia

Nebraska: last updated 3/15

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

17 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1), Douglas (15) and Knox (1)

New Jersey : last updated 3/14 at 2 pm

69 cases (+38%), 1 death (none new)

Affected counties include: Bergen (25, +47%), Burlington (3, no change), Camden (2, +1), Essex (7, +1), Hudson (5, +2), Middlesex (10, +6), Monmouth (8, +1), Morris (3, no change), Ocean (1, no change), Passaic (2, -1 apparently?), Somerset (1, no change), and Union (1, no change)

Newly affected counties include: Mercer (1)

I dread updating NJ just because the website sucks so bad

Thank you to the commenter who noted that the help line apparently rules and they’ve been advertising it heavily, that’s awesome public health work by NJ!

So that’s a bright spot, eh?

New York: last updated 3/14 at 8 PM

613 cases, 192 new, 1 new death

Affected counties include: Westchester (178, +12%), Nassau (79, +54%), Suffolk (41, +13), Rockland (12, +3), Ulster (5, +0), Dutchess (4, +1), Orange (6, +3), Saratoga (3), Albany (5, +3), Broom (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (2, +1), and Schenectady (1, +0).

NYC has 269 cases (+75%) as of 3/15 at noon

Newly affected counties include: Erie (3), Tioga (1), and Tompkins (1)

Drive through testing in New Rochelle and Long Island

All public places are closed in New Rochelle through March 25.

Ohio: last updated 3/15 at 2 pm

36 confirmed cases, 10 new

350 people under investigation

Affected counties include: Belmont (2), Butler (6), Cuyahoga (14), Franklin (3), Lorain (2), Lucas (1), Medina (1), Stark (2), Summit (2), Trumbull (2), Tuscarawas (1)

THEY STARTED GIVING COUNTY BY COUNTY INFO, PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Oregon: last updated 3/14 at 11:00 AM

36 cases, 13 hospitalized at time of positive test, 1 death (3/14)

The following counties are affected: Clackamas (1), Deschutes (3), Douglas (1), Jackson (2), Klamath (1), Linn (9), Marion (2), Multnomah (1), Polk (1), Umatilla (2), and Washington (13).

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/15 at noon

Gritty is now loose and is singlehandedly responsible for all cases in Philadelphia, if you see the orange monster, RUN

63 total cases, 16 new today

No deaths, Gritty is thankfully failing in his mission to murder

Counties affected include: Allegheny (3, +1) Bucks (4, +1), Chester (2, +0), Cumberland (5, +2), Delaware (7, +1), Monroe (6, +3), Montgomery (24, +4), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (6, +2), Pike (1, +0), Washington (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Lehigh (1) and Luzerne (1)

446 people under investigation pending test results

Rhode Island: last updated 3/13/20

~500 people in quarantine for close contact situations

57 pending people under investigation

20 confirmed cases, no deaths

Next expected update 3/16 in the AM

South Dakota: last updated 3/15

9 confirmed cases, no new cases since 3/14

6 pending cases under investigation

Affected counties include: Beadle (1), Bon Homme (1), Charles Mix (1), Davison (1), McCook (1), Minnehaha (3), and Pennington (1)

No community transmission

Texas: last updated 3/15

56 total cases, 5 new.

Highly likely that there has been community transmission, unconfirmed currently

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (3, +2), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +1), Dallas (8, +0), El Paso (1, +0), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (1, +0), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (4, +1), Tarrant (3, +0), and Travis (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Matagorda (1)

The Texas DPH has corrected a tabulation error that affected Gregg and Travis counties.

Utah: last updated 3/15

21 total cases, 14 cases in Utah residents

Affected health districts include: Davis County (3), Salt Lake county (14), Southwest Utah (1), Summit County (2), and Weber-Morgan (1)

The Utah Jazz managed to get more testing than the rest of the country for awhile there, so that’s great for them

Whoever does your graphic design, *greatjob* (the little virus instead of the UDPH logo is CHOICE)

Also, the website is super useful and readable, 10/10 good job Utah

First case of community spread identified on 3/14/20, in Summit County

Schools and universities are closed starting 3/16/20, Mormonism is closed until further notice, and skiing is canceled in Park City and Cottonwood Canyon for a minimum of a week. If you are interested in skiing in Utah, check Ski Utah for a list of closures.

Virginia: last updated 3/15

45 cases total, 4 new

Affected counties/cities include: Arlington (8, +1), Chesterfield (1, +0), Fairfax (10, +0) James City (8, +1), Loudoun (5, +0), Virginia Beach City (4, +1), Prince William (3, +1), Spotsylvania (1, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), and Alexandria City (1, +0)

No newly affected areas today.

Washington: last updated 3/14 at 2:45 PM

Godspeed, y’all are having a real rough time right now. Yipes. Washington is really hard hit right now, especially King County. Look to Washington State and how they’re coping for a preview of how things are gonna go as the cases develop elsewhere.

642 total cases, 40 deaths (6.2% mortality)

Affected counties include: Clark (3), Columbia (1), Grant (2), Grays Harbor (1), Island (6), Jefferson (1), King (387), Kitsap (3), Kittitas (3), Pierce (26), Skagit (4), Snohomish (154), Spokane (3), Thurston (3), Whatcom (2), and Yakima (4).

39 cases are currently unassigned to a county. These are expected to resolve in the coming days, hopefully.

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Grant (1), King (35), Snohomish (4),

Wisconsin: last updated 3/15 at 2 PM

33 total cases (6 new), 1 recovered, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Dane (6, +0), Fond du Lac (11, +5), Milwaukee (7, +1), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (3, +0), Waukesha (3, +0), and Winnebago (1, +0)

Today’s Hot Tips

Make sure you have ibuprofen and tylenol/acetaminophen/APAP/paracetamol at home before you get sick. This isn’t just covid advice, this is life advice in general. (Obvs, ask your doctor about what’s safe to take if you have chronic health conditions etc but this is a general recommendation, not medical advice. As I said, life advice.)

As far as I know, ibuprofen and tylenol are ok, but research may change this. Current research indicates that steroids, which are used in other severe respiratory conditions, may make COVID-19 associated acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS) worse. More on this later.

It still can’t hurt to have some tylenol around, though, ya know?

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands, I certainly do, try Good as Hell by Lizzo instead!

Sing from “I do my hair toss” to “If he don’t love you anymore” at minimum (if you’re like me and can’t leave a lyric unfinished, go ahead and dry your hands while making your brain happy.) to follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water for maximum virus-murdering.

Chill Cat Otter Corner

https://gfycat.com/pastjovialalligatorgar-otter

Please watch these otters sproing and chase!

About this newsletter

I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I wrote this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet!

All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something!

Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best.

Thank you to @marywhal for the excellent title!

For More Information

JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html

WHO daily sitrep: https://www.who.int/docs/default-source/coronaviruse/situation-reports/20200315-sitrep-55-covid-19.pdf?sfvrsn=33daa5cb_6

WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses

CDC cases in the US (take w/ a grain of salt due to Political Garbage, as detailed above): https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept which may or may not be more up to date than the CDC

#corona extra #covid corner #covid19 #coronavirus #pandemic #information without anxiety #my pledge is to only give you the straight dope #social distancing #coronavirus pandemic #long post

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