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#I still need to edit and see how many of them will actually be made into gifs but yeah.... many gifs either way

bastardlybonkers · 23 days

Text

i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one

his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.

ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication

ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.

#dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #shuro dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #toshiro nakamoto #dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard #but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood #he literally states all the reasons he likes her #and none of them are superficial #but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just #proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed #do Not misunderstand me i am #a HUGE farcille stan #obviously #but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations #as a character in this story

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mellifiedprincess · 3 months

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When you started dating Matt, he realized very quickly how deeply you felt things. And what he meant by that is, you sometimes had feelings so strong about something you would end up an emotional mess.

For most people something like that would be quite overwhelming, but not for you. You embraced it.

You found the way you cared so much or thought so much about something to be one of many charming characteristics about yourself.

And sometimes even funny.

Matt couldn’t count how many times he has walked in on you with tears streaming down your cute little face for such bizarre reasons. One time it was because you couldn’t find your favorite nail polish.

Another time it was because you saw an old picture of your mom’s favorite pet growing up. You had never even met the cat and you were crying over it.

“But I just know we would have been best friends!” Was your argument of why you were so emotional over the animal. Matt could only roll his eyes affectionately and cradle your head against his chest.

Yes, he thought it was one of the most ridiculous things to cry about, but he loved you and thought it was endearing only because it was you.

He knew during your “episodes” there wasn’t much he could offer besides the comfort of his presence.

Fast forward to today.

You were minding your business, scrolling through tiktok while the boys were doing who knows what, when a sweet edit of Matt pops up on your fyp.

Of course you watched it. As soon as you saw Matt’s cute little grin, you were sucked in. The transition from him laughing, to him dancing, makes the smile on your face grow even more. He was so cute, it actually hurt your heart and you needed to see his face right then and there.

Tears started running down your face as you walk from the room you share with Matt, to the kitchen, eyes immediately landing on just the person you were looking for.

He was standing in the middle of the room, reading something on his phone not noticing the frazzled state you were in. He didn’t even notice you were there until he felt your arms wrap around his waist and face press into his back.

“Hi baby.” He quietly greets as one of his hands instinctively drop down to grab one of yours, his thumb rubbing softly against the back of your hand. And just the gentleness of his actions is enough to make you squeeze your eyes shut, causing more tears to run out. “You’re so cute Matty!”

At the sound of your watery voice he’s concerned, but then he registers what you said and knows this is one of your episodes. Though still concerned, because he hates when you cry, he is relieved it’s not something too serious.

He moves to pull you in front of him before taking your arms to wrap themselves back around his waist. Matt then quickly wipes at your waterline, trying to stop your tears.

“Why are you crying sweetheart?”

“Because!” You pause and bury your face in his chest and you feel his hand begin to run through your messy hair.

“I just- I love you so much! I feel like my heart melts every time I look at your cute little face.” You cry out, words muffled by his shirt. And if you were to look up right now, you would see a very amused grin on your boyfriend’s face.

“Is that right? The same thing happens to me when I look at you, so glad we’re on the same page.” There’s a lightness to his words, but genuinely meaning them.

You both are silent for a few moments. Matt just holding you tightly against his body, making sure you knew he was there. “I saw this really cute edit of you on tiktok and it just made me really happy. I needed to see your face immediately.”

“You wanna show me the edit?” You perk up instantly at his question, a giddy feeling flooding through your body. “In a minute, Matty. I just need you to keep holding me like this.”

“Okay angel. I got you.” Matt rests his cheek on top of your head and starts to slowly sway you both back and forth. His words settle into the silence surrounding you two and you get another rush of emotions spread throughout your chest.

And unbeknownst to you, Matt had the same rush of emotions spread throughout his chest. He felt so fucking lucky to have someone who loved him as much as you did.

The moment between you two was short lived when you hear another set of footsteps walking downstairs, and then the silence is once again broken by Nicks voice.

“Ugh, serious situation or one of her episodes?” Matt cuts his eyes over to Nick, making the older sibling throw his hands up in a defensive manner. “What? I love my bestie, but she could give Mantis (guardians of the galaxy) a run for her money.”

“Shut the fuck up. We were having a moment here.” Matt states and you pull away from his body, looking at Nick with a soft smile. “Stop yelling at him. It’s okay Nick, it’s just another one of my silly little moments.” You laugh and start pulling Matt’s sleeve, walking towards your bedroom.

Matt sits on the edge of the bed, not wasting anytime in pulling you down into his lap and wrapping his arms back around you.

“Do I really seem more emotional than Mantis?” Your question only makes your boyfriend laugh, answering your question without saying anything.

“It doesn’t matter, sweetheart. Everyone loves your little episodes. It’s almost refreshing in a sense because of how innocent it makes you seem. You just have such a big heart things make you so happy sometimes, you can’t help but cry.”

His small rant makes you squeeze your eyes shut from more tears and you place kisses all over his face, before landing one on his lips.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Of course I do! And I mean it when I say I wouldn’t change anything about you for the world.”

A thought passes through your mind and a small laugh escapes your mouth. “I wouldn’t change anything about you either, not even the weird thing your pinky does when you drink something.”

“Oh great, now I’m getting bullied by the internet and my girlfriend.”

the edit that inspired this:

FULL CREDIT TO @nllzharry on tiktok!

#sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo

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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months

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Hello!

How do you leave a good comment on a work when you notice a large error? Or a small error,m I get so nervous to leave a comment nowadays because not many people have clear statements regarding criticism. So, I'm hesitant to point out anything out/ leave a comment that's anything but positive.

I remember a few months ago, on a BNHA work, I corrected the timeline of canon events that author got wrong (because the WIP seemed to be going down that route of "canon adjacent" work that spawn from a canonical event). The author had a message beneath the chapters that "all comments were welcomed," so I thought it was okay to leave the type of comment I did. But I dealt with several aggressive messages from the author and the author's friends about needless critique and how rude I came off as afterwards (I apologized,but I still got messages for a while).

The whole thing freaked me out a bit because I hate any semblance of confrontation ,so now I'm nervous about commenting any work- even those with explicit statements on criticism (welcome ,not welcomed,etc). I leave kudos and such ,but sometimes I debate over whether or not the author needs my comment about their typos. I try to sandwich a critique between two compliments like everyone says,but then I end up with a paragraph-length comment, and I worry about coming off too strongly.

I'm rambling,sorry.

Is there a guide to good comments for criticism in fanworks? Besides not giving criticism when criticism would not be welcomed??

Thank you for your time.

First of all, I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience. I'm sure that was awful for you, and I totally understand why it would freak you out.

When it comes to correcting things in fanfic, there are a lot of things to take into account.

Why does correcting the error matter to you?

How well do you know the author?

How long would it take to make the correction?

There are others, but these are the bigger "buckets" I see most of them fitting into.

If the error matters to you because you get annoyed when you see typos, for example, then that's more of a "you" problem. You can download the fic and edit out the typos and then when you reread it, you won't have to worry about them.

If the error matters to you because you'd be embarrassed if you had posted a fic and there were typos in it, that's also kind of a "you" problem. If the author feels the same way, they'll likely have an author's note indicating that they want to be notified. Otherwise, they're likely resigned to the idea that typos will happen, and if they reread their work themselves, they'll edit them out if and when they catch them.

If the error matters to you because it's non-canonical, this one is more of a wait and see. Maybe the author made the error by accident, but it very well could be on purpose. Perhaps that small change is relevant to the overall plot they're developing. Maybe it's just a thing that they personally hate in canon and have decided that they don't want to include for that reason. Maybe it's a genuine error that they'd be horrified to notice later. There's no way to know.

And that last one is where we come to the second item above. If you know the author well, you can message them and have a chat and bring it up there. I'd recommend just starting out by talking about the story as a whole and what their plan is for it. As I said, maybe what you see as an error is actually a conscious choice that they've made for the story that they want to tell. During that conversation, you'll be able to figure out whether it's actually an error and whether they'd want it pointed out or not.

If you don't know the author well, you could point an error like that out in a comment but then you need to think about the third factor.

Typos take seconds to change. Plot points take hours, days, weeks, or longer. Asking someone to put in a lot of time to make a change to something they've already been working hard on can be really demotivating - even crushing.

For a lot of authors (possibly even most?) they put a lot of work into their fics before they ever get to the point of posting them. They've read, revised, planned, and plotted. They might even have additional chapters already written that are in the revision process and just haven't been posted yet.

Especially in long works, authors look to the comments as a cheering section to urge them on towards completion, so posting corrections or pointing out errors can feel like someone standing up and booing. I think that's what happened in that BNHA situation you referenced in your ask.

That's why the general suggestion when it comes to commenting with corrections is just to not do so. If you want, you can comment about all of the things you like in the fic and then ask if the author wants a beta. That would allow you to have those conversations about their vision for the fic, and it would also allow you to offer feedback before the work is posted and while it's still being edited and worked on.

Otherwise, if it really does bother you, I'm afraid you might just need to dip out and find a different fic.

#asks and answers #long post

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etherealstar-writes · 4 months

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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 4

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: four

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

elton

how is everyone on this fine evening?

the REAL karate kid

great until you rudely woke me up

from my peaceful nap

stairway

the imposter

eh not too bad

but my friend keeps on spamming me

with these tiktok edits

neev

tiktok edits you say 👀

what of?

the imposter

these girls she's kinda obsessed with

and finds them incredibly good-looking

and wants to know who my fav is or

who i find the most good-looking

elton

ooh really?

i wanna know who

let us google em and say our opinions

the REAL karate kid

and which one did you find

the most good-looking?

the imposter

i don't really know who any of them are 😭

but they're playing football in some clips

so i'm guessing they're football players?

elton

oh 😳

stairway

this will be interesting

earpsy

ah well describe them

so how many were there?

and who was the best looking?

i wanna keep an eye out if they

turn up on my fyp

the imposter

well there were quite a few

there was this one specific blonde

that she continuously spammed me

edits off the most

and i think she was the captain idk?

willybum

i feel like i've seen that blonde before!

i reckon she's everybody's favourite

since she's the most good-looking

stairway

what a big fat lie

elton

as if

the imposter

eh, everyone's fav?

i mean i see where people are coming

from but that's kinda stretching it ...

there are so many more players

that seem to be just as great if not better

the REAL karate kid

see

thank you

you get it

just like everyone else

someone just needs to knock

some sense into leah

and i'll gladly do it rn

BACK TF UP 🤺

lotte

who is your favourite player tho, y/n?

neev

i'd love to know too

stairway

come on, that's easy

it's gotta be stanway

right?

the REAL karate kid

y/n, my love

it's russo isn't it

elton

hey hey hey

we forgetting toone too

the REAL karate kid

shush

the imposter

um i'm still uncultured okay 😭

i don't know any of their names yet

oh but i do know one of their names

i think she's pretty cool

neev

ooh do tell who this lucky person is

that you find pretty cool

the imposter

it's lucy bronze

willybum

NAHHH

SHUT UP

stairway

NOT THAT OLD RUSTY GRANDMA 😭

OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE SHE COULD PICK

rusty metal

who you calling an old rusty grandma?

stairway

YOU

WHO ELSE

rusty metal

i'm very delighted that

she is your favourite y/n

she's mine too <33

earpsy

LMAO 💀

just so you know y/n

you've broken a lot of hearts today

the REAL karate kid

lemme just go and find the nearest cliff

and fling myself off of it

stairway

i'm joining you

willybum

count me in too

the imposter

IM SORRY 😭

ALL THE LIONESSES SEEM AMAZING OKAY

I JUST ONLY KNOW ABOUT HER YET

elton

nah

you've made your choice

the imposter

YOU GUYS

it's really not that big of a deal

you all are acting like i've

personally rejected you guys

lotte

this whole thing was so funny to read omg

meado

honestly

top tier entertainment

made my day

thank you y/n

the imposter

you're welcome ...?

part five here

#lionesses x reader #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #engwnt #woso imagine #leah williamson x reader #alessia russo x reader #ella toone x reader #niamh charles x reader #georgia stanway x reader #lotte wubben moy x reader #mary earps x reader #woso #woso fanfics

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gyuswhore · 1 year

Text

How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread)

Idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

genre: fluff, angst, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, one sided pining, reader has issues opening up (lmk if there's anything else)

13.4k words (im sorry)

plot: This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

masterlist

(A/N): repost bc Tumblr wouldn’t show it in the tags!!! Thank you for clicking on this clonking my pants as I hit post ! I started working on this at the beginning of exam season and I’m posting it the night before my last exam 🥲 what a full circle moment. Also pls excuse any inconsistencies or grammatical errors, my beta reader, unlike me, actually cares ab her grades and is in the beginning of exam season and therefore will not be able to read through this monstrosity for a while lmao. Enjoy hehe

Edit: I’ve just realised how many mistakes and grammatical errors I’ve made throughout the fic, serves me right for proofreading at 3 AM after a stats exam. I’ll try to fix them all asap!!!

The camera goes off again with a distinct click. And again. And again. And again.

The camera had gone off innumerable times since Mingyu walked out in another themed ensemble, and you were there, watching, through all of it.

You watched as he kept switching positions, rotating his body and his head. Morphing his features into more variations of dazed and serious than you thought could ever exist.

Standing there, at the portable table behind the main setup, attempting to clean a lip brush that would be needed soon when the inevitable call for-

“Makeup over here! We’re taking 5”

You note your sluggish pace as you snap out of your daze and scrubbing harder with the removal cloth. Snapping your head down, hoping nobody noticed your incessant heart eyes, you realize you were in trouble now.

‘Y/n, you’ve been cleaning that brush since I left 10 minutes ago!’ The senior makeup artist snapped.

You finish up the brush in hand and quickly hand her what she needs, not before rummaging for the tiny pot of lip product you absent-mindedly packed away.

‘Sorry, really sorry’ you choke out before she leaves in her badly concealed irritated expression. You see her make a beeline for a waiting Mingyu, who adorably squats for the woman so she has better access.

This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

It's not that you were overage (your mother begs to differ), but considering you were on your second big girl job and still no sign of a potential lover, the prospect was starting to weigh on your head. The first rattling experience was when one of your closest friends announced her engagement, your thoughts still stuck in a 19 year old you considered she was too young. She was not, in fact, 19, or too young, but a perfectly acceptable age to consider marriage with someone she loved, you had soon realized. You were never one for the dating scene, but you were always one to don your Dr. Love labcoat whenever an emotionally bruised friend would come seeking help. You were good at advice, but awfully bad at applying it yourself.

Coming into this job, surrounded by a plethora of beautiful people, your heart would be of stone if it weren’t to waver.

The gong of unattainability had struck the second you laid eyes on Mingyu, laughing at something Hoshi had shown him on the phone. There he was, hair and makeup-less, looking like he had just rolled out of bed (which he had), and beautiful as ever. Beginning this new chapter with a bang, only problem was that it turned into an 8 month shoot out. Having encountered a number of gorgeous people, you’d learned to appreciate their genetic lottery pull and move on. But never had a single look left you as breathless and unbeared as that one, fateful look at Mingyu. One of the team members was busy assuring you not to worry too much about the pandemonium in the dressing room, that everyone would handle it and you were only asked to observe and help with smaller things as instructed; for now. You weren’t listening too hard though.

You were now adjusted to the chaos that comeback season and 13 men plus staff in a microscopic dressing room brought about. But you will never forget how in the midst of your first rain of hell, Mingyu had asked you to pass his phone.

‘Please?’ He had said, and you slammed your hand with a force of a woman infatuated on the table behind you and (literally) breathed out the first thing you had ever said to him.

‘Here’

He smiled and gave you a quick ‘thanks’.

There was no coming back after he flashed you those irresistible canines, and to this day, you wonder what nation you saved in a previous life to be able to have him know your name, hear it roll off his tongue in his pretty voice as he asks you to fix his smudged eyeliner.

You sigh defeatedly before your mentor slash irritated makeup artist shoves her load back in your hands and instructs you to come inside to pack up. It’s become routine for you now, as you begin to pack up the bigger palettes and tools, handing a ready-to-go-home Junhui the pack of makeup wipes he asked for, zipping up bags and closing tubs of outfits. It's an organized chaos but one everybody has grown to work around.

Mingyu is done before you, as he removes his jewelry and begins to shrug off his jacket. You scramble to find the clothes he came in and his coat, pointedly ignoring the familiar scent of wood. He thanks you and shucks off the remainder of his clothing, he might be used to stripping in front of professional staff, but you look away regardless for your own sanity.

Helping the last stylists hang the final jacket, you grab your bag and get ready to leave in your own car. Mingyu has left, not before throwing a “you did well, thank you!” over his shoulder at the remaining people in the room and leaving for the honking car outside.

***

Your mashing bananas in a bowl at 12 AM when you start thinking. Impulsive baking sessions had become a norm since you started working with Seventeen, needing to keep yourself occupied to stop spiraling. Mingyu was a recurring topic (surprise surprise), but one that quickly faded when you begin to think about what the future holds for you. You start mashing the banana harder. You consider the idea that you can’t complain, being in a position some of the most well seasoned pros had difficulty reaching. Being a single young woman and being allowed so close to some of the most unattainable men was seen as near impossible. You’d like to think it was your skill that got you here but can never seem to fully rule out a processing error.

It’s hard, being stuck in the same place. Your apprenticeship should have ended 2 months ago, but even if it had, you’d still be doing the same thing. The senior artist trusts no-one but a select few to work on the boys for photoshoots, events, music videos. People like you are left to sanitize sponges and clean the fallout.

You crack an egg on the counter and it splits open entirely, falling on the floor, yolk and all. Your inability to grow stays within the idea that you can’t really do your artistry like you want.

And how you never learn to crack your eggs on the bowl.

***

Showing up on the Going Seventeen set, you rush to the dressing room way earlier than you should. Being completely honest, you’re really only rushing because you want to maneuvere yourself to do Mingyu’s makeup before somebody else snags him. This was one of the very few engagements where you were occasionally allowed to take charge on makeup. Not that it was required for the show much at all; intensity and occasion wise. Your rare (possible) moment to (maybe) come into Mingyu’s organic notice was an opportunity never to be dropped by you.

You help setting up everything on the counters as the boys begin to (loudly) file in the rooms. You see Mingyu walk in and move to ask him to sit down once he’s done discarding his coat. He was first in line and you ‘happened’ to be the first one ready to begin working.

‘Is the eye makeup heavy? I just got a sty removed and I don’t know if I should be putting anything on at all.’ He asks as he sits down and you ready your damp sponge.

‘Not really, just smoothing things out. It should be fine.’ you say as you begin to press the compact on his cheek.

Your not really sure why, because you’ve never been able to muster anything above brief replies when in contact with him, but something in you pushes you to keep talking.

‘I’m surprised they even asked for us, they rarely ever do’ you continue, heart pounding so hard you’re afraid he might hear it.

He breathes out a laugh ‘Yeah. They even started advertising the show on youtube and subway stations and stuff, I didn’t know until I saw someone talk about it online’

You smile at his response ‘Well, all of you work so hard, it's about time they pull this to a high scale production’

‘It's never really work if your having fun, we try to be ourselves on here’ He replies, still smiling slightly.

You’re damn near close to collapsing on the floor at this point. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him. You opt to smile in response as you start to concentrate on his eyebrows. The rest of his face is done far too soon as you zone out and do what you do best.

‘All done’ you announce as you pull away from his lips, trying not to have yoour gaze linger.

“Y/n! Can you start on Vernon if you're done?’, another artist calls from behind.

‘Yeah, he can come up!’ you reply as Mingyu (regretfully) walks towards hair.

Just because you sew your mouth shut with Mingyu doesn’t mean it applies for the rest of them, you’re quite friendly with all of them and Vernon does well to remind you as he sits down and quips a ‘hey bestieee’ in an elongated greeting.

You audibly laugh ‘That’s another word I’ll be hearing for the next month’

‘Regretfully so’ He feigns sympathy.

‘Be quiet and look up’ you say with a fond smile before you get started on him.

***

You sit on the floor in front of your television, trail mix on the coffee table as the movie plays as background noise for your thoughts - again.

There’s a smile on your face, but you dont notice as you think about the small talk you made with Mingyu today, wondering if it could become a regular occurrence if you learned to keep your heart and mind in check.

You were never one to stand up and take effort to do what was right for you, which is why you were talked into choosing Business Administration by your friend in highschool, who you never speak to now because she decided to ditch you for another group who were more inclined to shuttle themselves to liver failure by partying every last weekend in your entire college career. You were talked into applying to corporate jobs by your counsellors as you started looking for make-up courses, needing to abandon your dream for the second time when you landed a decent entry level desk job. It took years before you decided to choose yourself for once and made the big leap after multiple courses you had took on the side. Life was starting to look bright after getting hired here, but you’re not sure if you overrode a high or if you went back to your old zipped mouth state after you settled in. Never sure if you expected too much or if things really were as stagnant as they felt.

***

Overmanifestation can be a thing. You're not really sure how it works but you’re reaping what you’ve sowed right about now.

You’re currently standing in an offside corridor in a hotel lobby, clad in a pretty white floral dress, and a nervous, fidgety Mingyu standing in front of you.

'I know I'm asking you to do something difficult and I know it seems pointless because I'm not doing anything wrong either that you have to lie about it'

This was supposed to be a staycation with your friends for you to relax and get your mind off things. Your ticket to relaxation has become a nightmare.

'And I understand I'm being super unreasonable but I'm really trying to keep it on the down-low as we get to know each other'

You were waiting with your friends on the couches positively stuffing your faces with the complimentary chocolate bowl placed on the coffee table as a couple other friends checked you guys into your rooms. You were laughing and talking with your group, carefree and ready to have a week of well deserved rest.

That was the plan anyway. Until you see someone across the lobby, also in line at check in. He had an unmistakable toothy smile,and was hand in hand with a concealed brunette.

Your smile abruptly falls in disbelief as you feel your world halt around you.

The same hands come up to brush the hair out of the woman's face to place a kiss on her temple, smiling wide.

The nauseating feeling of ice going down your spine is becoming more and more apparent. You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat but it's like trying to swallow a brick. You lick your lips and attempt to look away but your eyes keep feeding on the picture you painted yourself in your worst nightmares. Realizing you're on the brink of possible hyperventilation, your friend drops her head and asks you if you're okay. You look up at her, not knowing what to say as you realize that nodding furiously will convince her.

Mingyu has a girlfriend.

Of course he would. What were you thinking? This man is one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, why on earth would he be single? You’re unhinged, you decide, for thinking you may have a chance, when the woman turns around and you see her in full. She’s gorgeous.

A part of you still wants to believe that you're officially past the point of sanity and that you've begun to see Mingyu in every tall man. The universe, however, is cruel. He pushes his head up and in your general direction, and locks eyes with you in unmistakable recognition.

He stops smiling.

So here you are listening to Mingyu asking you to keep this a secret from the company, to forget the woman waiting for him in the lobby.

You can only nod in slight motions as he goes on his rant to justify his oath to secrecy, managing a tight lipped smile as you miraculously find your voice, hoarse as it may be.

'Don't worry about it, I understand' - ouch - 'it's none of my business anyway. I'll keep my lips sealed, I promise'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. I'll repay you soon I promise'

'No, please, it's not-'

'No, Y/n I will. You're being really good to me right now and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry for putting you through this while you're off from work and with friends. It's worth to me that your listening and understanding'

You're tired. You want nothing but for him to stop talking. So you smile again and shake your head.

'I'm sure your friends are waiting, I won't keep you. I'll see you soon though!'

And with that he leaves. Back to the lobby where you see him take the woman by hand once again. You watch again as they walk to the elevators, stepping in and disappearing when the doors close. You watch the floor number rise.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

You walk back to your laughing friends before you can see where they got off.

***

Retiring to your shared hotel room with Chaeyoung, you fall back first into the crisp sheets and mattress.

'Why're you so depressed dude, did Mingyu say something to you?' She asks, a slight line forming between her brows.

'I'm fine, I've been up since 5 today it's just fatigue hitting me right now' you reassure, like always. 'I might not go to dinner with you guys, might end up with my face in the soup at some point'

Chaeyoung hums. ‘Take the night off so you can gear up for the rest of the week. I'm letting you off for now but I expect full attendance for eveything else we do', finishing with a mocking stern look.

'Yes ma'am' you feign salute from the bed, mimicking her stern tone.

You've known Chaeyoung for quite a while now, meeting her in your last year of uni. Trusting her as you do, you were never fully able to fess up about your feelings for Mingyu. Fear of judgment wasn't the problem, but more so the strange feeling of shame that overcomes you when you think about talking about it with other people. It's quite beyond you, why you act this way. You loved your friends and you knew they would support you with everything, they'd proved it when you'd made one of the most difficult decisions of your life while leaving your job. But the idea of having the audacity to love someone who could never do the same seemed like a feat of embarrassment.

Who are you, y/n? Who are you to have foolish dreams of a girl in love? With someone clearly fit for all things greater than you?

Maybe this was a good thing, you thought, the weird feeling in your stomach returning. Maybe this was the universe telling you to give up and move on, a kind of rejection that keeps your dignity. This was nothing but a reality check, a sign from whatever wants best for you, to bring your attention back to what brought you to Mingyu in the first place.

***

You didn’t see Mingyu for the rest of the trip, which you were grateful for not knowing how you’d react if you had to see him so soon after, that.

Back massaged and head clearer than it had been for weeks, you feel more in control of your feelings and thoughts regarding your life. You hope the conversation with Mingyu was the last stressful thing you’d encounter for a while.

It’s almost comeback season, you realise as you see the new concept photos while scrolling on your couch at home. This meant insanely early mornings for weeks on end, but you had to push through for your own sake. You’d come out of multiple comebacks needing a brace for a month but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Never realising the true meaning of learning through experience, you were enlightened as you entered this new, very hands on field. The concept looked interesting, hoping the scraps of makeup you’d be allowed to do would be fun for you.

That ended up being true when you were, for the first time, asked to do Hoshi’s full makeup for their first comeback broadcast.

Your stumped silence was short lived as you hastily oblige and get the chair ready for him. You’d looked at the demo sheets and face charts too much for someone who wasn’t actually going to be asked to do much, but you see it pay off as you finish his eyes and get started on the rest of his face. It was easy for you to zone out as Soonyoung had passed out not even 5 minutes in, having someone hold his face as you worked.

You felt your chest swell with an indesipherable feeling as you watched him get up with your mastery on his face; pride, was it? You were getting emotional for no reason. Your attention, however, is moved sharply when you hear someone tell Mingyu it was his turn, finding him plopped on your chair staring straight into nothingness as he’d just been rudely awoken from his nap. He doesn’t realise it’s you for a solid minute as he tried to remember his own name.

‘Oh, hello’ he says, sort of confused. ‘Sorry, just give me minute’, he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

He stretches back onto his seat signalling he’s ready for you to get started. You trying not to feel too much in your stomach as you begin.

You’re powdering his forehead when he says “I know I already said this but I really appreciate what you’re doing”

You know he’s talking about the conversation at the hotel, you were hoping you could avoid it.

“I told you not to worry about it, honest.” You reply, and somehow manage to choke out “It makes me happy that you’re happy”

You can see him trying to fight a smile, “Thank you for saying that”.

You wanted to stab someone. But you opt for gently brushing a base colour across his eyes.

“Do any of us know her, by any chance?” You ask cautiously.

“I dont think so. We met through mutual friends at a Christmas dinner, we didn’t start talking till she had to bring me a bunch of papers I’d left at my mom’s that day.” his face depicts someone reminiscing a fond memory.

It was cute, how it seemed like fate was trying to bring them together. It would've been cuter if you weren’t in a one sided pining with one of the two lovers.

“Well, I hope it works out for the both of you”

No you don’t.

“I hope so too”

You don’t hope that at all.

You felt guilty, feeling all of this. Hated that this was your first response to him wanting to be happy. Never would you have imagined stooping this low, hoping his happiness doesn’t work out for your sake. You’d like to owe it this being your first real infatuation, but you can’t help but wonder if this was really what you thought.

You decided to focus on the good news for today, that you’re finally allowed to do your actual job. You can only hope this wasn’t a temporary advancement, allowing time to tell.

Things remained the same the following day, much to your absolute elation. You were done doing 4 people’s makeup and was just winding down to take a break, quite satisfied with yourself. You observed as the rest of the boys got their hair done and run around, half in their outfits. You stifle a snort as you watch Jeonghan hide Minghao’s socks in his pockets as the boy tried to find them to put his shoes on, the former continuing to sip on his coffee seemingly unaware.

“Y/n, have you seen my socks? The green ones with the leaves on it?” Hao inevitable asks you.

You’re forced to feign confusion when Jeonghan pokes his head behind him signalling you to keep up the charade. He continues to look and you’re just about to have mercy on the poor boy before a to-go cup of coffee is shoved in front of your face.

You look up at the person and it’s Mingyu extending his arm at you expectantly.

“Oh, I didn’t order anything” you start, thinking you’re clearing up a confusion.

“I know you didn’t, got one for you anyway.”

There’s a record screech in your brain as you absorb his words.

“Think of it as me trying to repay the favour”

Oh. I see.

You’re a little embarrassed thinking he’d get one for you in that way, not when he had someone waiting on him. You accept the cup and mumble a thank you as he unexpectedly plants himself on the couch next to you.

“I saw you drinking lattes a lot of the times, so I just got you that. Hope that’s okay”.

Your silent for a moment before replying “Yes!” a little bit too loudly, eyes widening a little realisng your lack of volume control.

He knows your coffee order.

“Yes,” you say again in a normal tone and a slight laugh to cover up your inability to read the room, “They’re my favourite actually”

Kim Mingyu knows you like latte’s. This wasn’t good for your delusional brain.

Your conversation is cut short when the boys are called for roll call before they can prepare for the actual stage. You watch him get up and leave to file into the overstuffed elevators, not before he throws you the most adorable wave you’ve ever seen. You can’t hold back your smile as you wave back and look down at the drink he got you before taking a sip.

***

As it turns out, you did makeup for the rest of their comeback season, and Mingyu, without fail, got you an iced latte every single day before leaving to go on stage.

You tried to get him to stop, but he was rooted in his position and you didn’t have it in you to say no to his pleading eyes. It was a re-charge for you, when you’d seen him break into a happy smile, prominent canines that you’d grown to adore. He’d done more than enough to ‘repay’ you for swearing to secrecy, and you felt like you too, should should repay him the balance.

So here you were, making banana bread in your kitchen again, careful to remember to crack your eggs on the rim of your mixing bowl instead of slamming them on the counter. You’re stirring the flour in when a classified devious thought occurs to you.

These past two weeks were pivotal for both you and Mingyu, daily coffee’s meant daily conversations, which meant getting to know one another more. You’d exchanged phone numbers in the midst of all of this, to which ensued the agenda of staying up till midnight talking to each other about the meaning of life.

Setting down the whisk, you pick up your phone and sent the text before you chickened out.

[You]: I have a surprise for you.

[You]: You wanna come over? It’s better enjoyed fresh lol

[Mingyu]: Ma’am? 👁👁

[Mingyu]: That sounds a whole lot like a booty call

[You]: *attachment*

[Mingyu]: IS THAT CAKE??

[Mingyu]: omw 😮‍💨

You send the location and set your phone down, a jittery feeling going through your entire body. There’s a spring in your step as you slide the loaf into the oven and set a timer. You turn around your kitchen island and register the pigsty that is your apartment. The girls were over the night before and you had done nothing to enlighten the aftermath, pillows strewn across the entire living room and snack wrappers in places you’re not sure how they landed.

By the time you’re done and spritzed the place with some of your nicer perfumes, your taking the loaf out of the oven and on a rack to cool.

Ever the punctual man, you hear the doorbell ring just as your taking your oven mitts off.

Hoping you’ve done enough to your apartment to save yourself from embarrassment, you collect yourself and open the door for him through your ringcam. He’s barely through when your rushing towards your doorway.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” he grunts as he tries to slip off his shoes.

“‘aight, where’s my cake?” he demands once he’s done giving you a quick hug.

You roll your eyes and usher him to the kitchen, “First of all, appreciate how excited you are to see me, and second, its banana bread not cake, sorry to burst your bubble”

He responds to your grumbling with an “Oh come on, you can't put freshly baked goods on the agenda and expect me to pay particular attention to anything else”.

He has his trademarked grin and cheesy stare out on display like its nobody’s business, you want to slap it off of him in the most loving way possible, but you settle with a tiny “shut up”.

“I brought warm coffee this time, thought it’d go better” He sets the to-go carrier on the kitchen counter, following you to where you were attempting to slice the still hot banana bread on a tray.

“Oh, that was a good idea” you say.

“Where’re your plates and forks?” he asks, pulling out the drawers and cabinets you signal to.

It all felt too domestic for your weak heart to handle. Not to say it didn’t warm you to the core how comfortable he felt in your space, you did, more than you’d care to admit. But he needed to tone it down before you required an organ transplant.

You were seated on the floor, butts parked on floor cushions, backs against the couch. The coffee table held all of your goods while you both argued on which movie to watch.

“I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the Harry Potter movies! No, we’re watching philosopher’s stone, I don’t care!” You shout in disbelief, already typing it into the search bar on the TV.

“Philly-philo- bro I can’t even pronounce it why would I watch that?!” He yells back, snatching the remote from you.

You’re both a giggling, screaming mess on the floor as you keep trying to steal the remote from each other, not stopping until one of you bumps into the table and you almost spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

You decide to call a truce and pick another movie entirely.

Just as you’re pressing play, Mingyu takes a bite of the still (surprisingly) warm banana bread and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“This is so good” He says, his faced furrowed as he goes in for another bite. “Did you lace this with something, why is this so good?”

You’re biting back a snarky remark but you let it rip anyway; “It’s cuz these pretty hands made it”

You splay your hands out in front of your face, like your showing him your rings, fingers wiggling and a cheeky smile on your face.

He looks unimpressed as he scoffs. He swallows before saying: “At least you didn’t call the secret ingredient love or something”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I heard you say that in some Gose episode” You remark.

He turns to you, all smug: “So your saying you watch Gose? Like, regularly?”

You immediately turn away from his taunting smirk, “Sometimes, if it shows up on my home page”

You take a sip of your latte before he asks you another sweat producing question.

“Oh, but you pay attention to me the most don’t you? Don’t you?”

He’s poking fun at you, you know that. But a paranoid part of you can’t help but think he’s onto you and your feelings.

So you say something maybe a little bit below the belt.

“You sure have a knack for seeking validation from the world when you have a partner already giving that to you”

The words tumble out of your mouth before you know it. In your defence, you're doing this for a greater cause, but it's still a relief when you see him comically gasp, hand to his diaphragm.

“Just because your alone in life, doesn’t mean you need to be salty about other people receiving actual love” He spits back.

Your sputtering trying to think of a response. Deserved.

He grabs a slice of the bread and shoves into your mouth to shut you up once and for all. You’re left chewing the mouthful and staring at him in shock.

He giggles and takes a sip of coffee, satisfied with himself. When he sets it down he opens his mouth to speak. Closes it again, like he re-evaluating, and finally decides to say something. He’s serious now.

“Ji Eun and I, decided it wasn’t gonna work out between us”.

Oh.

“Oh.”

He blows a raspberry and lets out a meek laugh.

“Yeah, oh. It’s whatever, it wasn’t meant to work out. Better sooner than later.”

You’re trying to find the words to reply or comfort him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask him, being careful to not lace your voice with pity, but more neutral and open. “You don’t have to, obviously, but it might be better to talk about what’s bothering you”

He pauses for a moment before starting.

“She wasn’t sitting very well with the idea that she had to share me. Like at all. She wouldn’t say it but she’d get mildly infuriated when I’d blow the fans a kiss or something, or interacted with the staff too much. I was getting home quite late certain days during comeback season and I’d find her outside the dorm at like 11 PM. It was embarrassing when all of the other members would see her there, obviously upset and basically yelling at me for, for - for literally just doing my job.I guess all the smaller things just started piling and she couldn’t take it. I tried so hard to make sure she felt wanted and secure in the relationship but nothing felt like it was ever enough. She was evasive or confrontational all at the wrong times and it came to a point- its a horrible thought to have in a relationship - but I was terrified she’d do something rash and I’d wake up to my face on articles for some reason - again”

You recollected the past couple years when Mingyu was thrown around in the media for a new accusation seemingly everyday. You weren’t involved with anything regarding the industry back then, but you’d heard enough news to be aware of what was happening.

Your heart swelled with sadness as you heard him talk, he sounded like he was trying- trying hard to be good enough. All for a person who seemed to have their priorities set somewhere else.

“She was amazing; kind and happy and confident. She treated my parents with respect, she was best friends with my sister. I know we only lasted like 3 months but at some point I really considered that she could be the one. But then the problems started and I realized she was only becoming an added factor to stress and anxiety for me more than anything else.

“I liked her because she was so family oriented, and I thought that was what would fit me because I’m like that too. But, I guess I’m just a different kind of oriented? I don’t know. I have a job that’s both interpersonal and unpredictable. There’s days where I don’t wanna get up and do work but I still love it nonetheless. I guess she just expected me to have a predictable, stable 9 to 5. Home in time for dinner, not requiring interaction with too many people; basically everything I can’t be.”

He’s silent for a moment.

You start talking after a couple beats.

“I really hope you aren’t taking this like it’s your fault. She made a choice to put up with your work, knowing how it would be for the both you. You tried your best but she made you feel like your best wasn’t good enough. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a really problematic conclusion. If she truly cared for you and what you love, she would never have been this unsupportive or not understanding”.

He’s listening to you, his expression is blank but you can tell he’s absorbing your words.

“I’d like to think I had realized that. But being completely honest, I’m not really sure when my thoughts go back to me thinking I’m the problem all the time.”

He manages a smile, a wide one, as he looks up to make eye contact with you; “But I know it’ll take me some time to really start believing that it’s not entirely my fault. We just weren’t compatible, and that’s fine. We left on good terms, and I’m happy about that.”

You smile with him as he finishes, but your a little confused when he starts sliding closer and down the cushions.

He sets his head on your shoulder.

You may have shortcircuited right then and there.

“Is this okay?” he asks you quietly, attention finally diverted to the half played movie.

You realise he asked you a question and you have to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine” You breathe out, somehow, by the graces of God himself.

No, you weren’t fine at all. You felt like the universe had flipped a faulty switch, mixed up the scripts, lost the plot, something. But as you get used to the weight of Mingyu’s head on your shoulder, you pray it won’t come back to haunt you in another chapter.

***

Your routine became inverted in the sense that, what you once had to plan out so intricately, is unfolding with no effort from you at all.

You find that Mingyu waits for you to be done with somebody else so you can do his makeup, instead of sitting on another free chair. He’d come to you specifically to touch up his makeup instead of going to an artist he saw closer to him. He never forgot to get you a coffee whenever it was that he saw you.

Mingyu hadn’t slept over that night, instead leaving in his car despite the 1 AM drizzle and your insistence for him to stay until the pour recedes.

Maybe it was better for you that he hadn’t stayed that night. Something about how you grew so close ‘organically’ made you feel like this wasn’t all in your head, that he’s choosing to be your friend.

You’re handing him his clothes as he begins to change, using the excuse to whisper to him;

“I was gonna try a new brownie recipe tonight, if you’re free you can come over?”

“I think I have somewhere to be after this but I’m free after, How’s 6?”

So there you are, back in your kitchen folding chocolate chunks into your brownie batter while waiting for Mingyu to get here.

Your phone dings from the island and you check to see a message from Mingyu sending you what looked like a grocery list; pasta, oregano, garlic…

[Mingyu]: Tell me what you don’t have from this

[Mingyu]: I’m at the store rn hurry up

You send him a list of what you don’t have, realising he intended to have dinner with you too.

[Mingyu]: k thanks

[Mingyu]: be there in like an hour

There’s a warm feeling that’s swelling in your chest, that makes you wanna punch a wall because your so happy. You choose self control, mostly because this apartment is on a lease but also you’d probably break your knuckles trying to punch anything harder than a foam mat.

By the time Mingyu’s here, the brownies are in the oven and you’re almost done with the icing. He unpacks the groceries (and the warm lattes) he bought while you finish up, confirming that he was trying a new pasta recipe tonight. Setting the brownies and coffee down on your usual coffee table, you decide wait a couple hours before starting on making dinner, instead choosing to hear him ramble about an idol he met at an award show.

“So, we start talking before we’re ready to go up- you weren’t there you were working on wonwoo’s makeup- and he starts complimenting me and so obviously I start complimenting him back”

He’s waving his arms around, and setting positions with coasters on the table trying to explain the setting.

“He asks me if I have a sister and I’m like… yes? Which I should’ve realised where this was going because he then” - he pauses to take a deep breath - “this absolute asshat decides it’d be funny to ask me for her number because apparently ‘if you’re this hot, I’m sure any sibling you have is too’ BRO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT - how are laughing at this?!”

You calm yourself down for a second to clarify, “NO! It’s just hilarious how he thought that was okay to say”

You’re still still giggling in shock when Mingyu calms down, now also laughing incredulously.

“But actually though, please tell me you smacked him” you manage.

“I would have,” he grumbles “I got called to fix my hair cuz I ruined it or something”.

“Oh well, now you know who to avoid next time,” you say as you guide a bite of brownie into his mouth, “Forget about it now, eat sugar, it’ll help”

He chews a bit before swallowing, all while you’re watching him with an endeared smile on your face.

“Y’know, I really thought you didn’t like me when you first joined the team”

You pause mid sip of your coffee, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You never really talked me, did you? You were friendly with the rest of them but it just seemed like you never wanted to enter a room if you saw me there”

You’re looking at him in utter shock, this man was mistaking your avoidant (yet also pushy) teenage crush behaviour for dislike.

He’s looking at you expectantly, a little pout on his face.

“I never disliked you, why would you think that? I promise everything was a coincidence, it was nothing like that”

“Don’t get so defensive, kinda obvious you like me now if not before” He laughs at your panicked expression.

He meant platonic like.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that though, I’ve been told I have a pretty serious resting bitch face, it’s gotten me in trouble before” she smile sheepishly.

“It’s fine, you made up for it with that first banana bread” He says before taking another bite of brownie, “Could use more chocolate chunks”

You snort before pushing him with a sock clad foot, “Appreciate me even giving them to you”

You fall back to the adjacent sofa.

It’s quiet for a moment. But you feel like something’s shifted in the air.

You watch as he brings his hand to the same foot, holding onto your ankles. He’s caressing the exposed skin with his fingers, moving them back and forth. His eyes are glued to yours, looking like he’s in a trance. You’re not sure how to register this new change in mood, suddenly feeling like you need to turn the aircon on during the bleak Seoul winter. Just as you're hoping you don’t start sweating, you feel his vice grip on your ankle pull your leg over with a sharp tug. You scream as you lose support of the sofa and fall back.

You sit up in shock to find him leaning with his elbows on the floor, cackling like madman.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“You-” He stops to laugh again, “You should’ve seen your face, PLEASE, it was hilarious”.

You huff before getting up shoving his shoulder with your foot again, “You’ve been playing guest a little too long, maybe it’s time you get started on that pasta”

“Will I be blessed enough to be receiving her highness’s help?” He asks.

He looks like a dream, clad in his T-shirt because he claims he doesn’t get cold. Hands behind him on the floor to give him support as he stares up at you, smiling wide. He’s looking at you with eyes full of stars and glitter.

You muster up the courage to give him a nasty glare, to which he huffs at and gets up, “Such a meanie”.

It’s hard to conceal your smile as his back his turned, sachaying towards the kitchen. You want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Your washing veggies in the sink when you turn around catch sight of his back as he stood at the kitchen island, sorting the rest of the ingredients. You get the same overwhelming feeling in your chest again, assuming you’re deluding yourself into thinking this is what life could be like with him. In less than 3 seconds, you’ve conjured a timeline of domestic routines, to wind down with him like this every evening.

You’re still lost in thought, still incessantly staring when he turns around and catches you in the act. He does the rude thing and snaps his fingers in front of your face to pull you out of your thoughts, “You okay?”

“Yeah” You say trying to gloss it over while busying yourself trying to find your cutting board.

“Are you sure? Do you wanna sit down at the island and watch me instead. You don’t have to help -”

“Pick a knife, and shut up dingus, it’s fine”

Once your both done eating and cleaning up, Mingyu hugs you goodbye, not before asking if you’d be free for lunch next week before he got busy the following month. You quickly agree, setting a date and time, bidding your (reluctant) farewells.

***

Once back in your apartment you realize how you can’t clean up to distract yourself because Mingyu took it upon himself to clear the space with you before he left. You sigh loudly and retire into your bedroom where you don’t have to think about how empty your living room is.

Changing into your pajamas and putting a headband on, you don’t even feel like turning your music on to do your night routine. You double cleanse, tone, serum, acid and moisturise your face with added purposefulness, taking note of the crevices of your nose and the neglected bottom of your chin. Taking extra time to make sure all of the foam is out of your skin before drying your face with a tissue.

You look at your fed skin in the mirror, and feel a weird surge of tears well in your eyes. Before they can fall you slam your bathroom cabinet to busy yourself to find your melatonin gummies, shoving them in your mouth before switching off the bathroom light and retiring to your bedroom.

Slipping the headband off and sliding into bed, you’re still chewing your gummies to a paste in your mouth. Trying not to notice how heavy you’re breathing you try to find your white noise machine, the one you found advertised for infants, and turn it on before grabbing your book to read for a few extra minutes.

Your staring at the pages like you found them to be blank. You’re phone dings next to you, signalling a notification.

Picking it up you find your mental health app sending you a daily reminder.

You’re allowed to feel your emotions.

***

Winter had run its course as you find yourself in April. You never really liked the cold, having been more sensitive to a gust of wind than the average joe, you were better suited to sitting with an aircon instead of being unable to move in the middle of Korea’s January cold rush. But alas, the cherries are blossoming and your fingers have defrosted.

That isn’t what’s on your mind right now though, as you’re standing in a Sephora, arms crossed and shoulders tense. You loved shopping for makeup, but you mostly chose to do it online unless you really had to otherwise. Parking yourself in the perfume section with the scents mixing together a cocktail of nosehair doom, you really wish you’d worn a face mask. Not to mention the migraine inducing coloured lights and mainstream pop playing in the background (you swear they’ve been playing Side to Side by Ariana Grande on loop since you got here).

These were all, however, peripheral observations for you, as you stare in absolute pneumonic shock at the number written on the price tag of the perfume you’re looking at.

Now, Mingyu is a man of class, high maintenance if you will. You’re well aware he likes to spoil himself, because he has a bank account to back it up.

Your bank account is definitely full and secure, but not enough for you to justify dropping what seems like half of its contents to something only one of the five senses can experience.

Mingyu mentioned in passing how he wanted this perfume a while ago, and knowing that he hadn’t ordered it for himself just yet, you decide to be the amazing friend that you are and surprise him for his birthday.

You may be regretting that right now, but you tentatively pick up the blue, crystalline bottle and spritz a bit on a paper strip before taking a whiff. It smelled good, that’s for sure, and it suited him too. So when the saleslady came to offer assistance, after you excused the last three, you decide you’re going to do this for him.

“Yes, could I have this in the box please?”

Walking back to your car you feel a bount of jitter run through you,

Oh, he’s gonna freak out when he sees this.

He did, in fact, freak when he saw it, and his reaction made you want to give him all of the good things in the world if you could see him like this all the time.

He’s smiling ear to ear and speaking in that high pitched voice that he gets when he’s excited. He’s thanking you over and over again, smoothing the box over in his hands repeatedly, looking at the ‘from: y/n :p’ with hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna save this for the rest of my life” he says, with determination and a goofy grin.

You snort at the declaration, “Sure, bud”

“I’m serious. What, you wanna bet?” he replies, taking a sip of his, latte, which you proudly credit yourself for swerving him over from Americano’s.

He insisted on going out to eat at this fancy French place a day before his actual birthday as he’d be busy on the day of, but it was risky for him to be seen eating out alone with a young woman at such a fancy place. You settled for a nicer traditional Korean restaurant, that allowed you to book a room away from possible prying eyes and one that you were both comfortable with. You decided to wait till you were back in the car with your post dinner coffee’s to give him his present.

“I’m giving you 3 months before that bottle’s dry to the dregs” You affirmed, “You smell like you empty half a bottle of something off your dresser everyday anyways”

You said it as an insult, but jokes on you because you loved the way he smelled.

“Fine, I’m gonna use this so carefully I’m not replacing it for at least a year”

“A year? What happened to the rest of your life?” you refute.

“I have you for that, don’t I”

What the fuckity fuck.

He’d turned to you, leaning on the headrest, that signature cheesy look; like he was in love or something. Voice dropping a couple octaves as he said it, laced with something defined and strong - enough for it to feel like the weight of an elephant had dropped on your chest.

You gather yourself after looking at him for a couple seconds, jaw unhinged and forgotten on the floor of his car. You chose to grab your cardigan that was neatly folded on the dash, and astral project it to his face across the seat. He’s laughing so hard there’s tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. He falls forward and you see strands of his hair fall to his face, he’d been growing them out.

“Shut up” you grumble in your seat, annoyed at how easy it was for him to send your heart through and beyond your chest.

He’s still giggling like a school girl, and you cave and give him a hint of a smile.

“There it iiiis” He announces, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks together.

For a moment, he stops to look at you like this, like he’s contemplating. For one, brain rattling, organ exploding, microsecond, you think he might even kiss you.

Instead, he headbutts you slightly rubbing his head swiftly before letting go.

“I might need to wash my hands, I think I got your makeup on me” He mumbles, looking at his hands like a child with mud soaked palms.

“Serves you right, you buffoon,” You remark as you pull out your trusty travel pack of makeup wipes.

Yanking one out of the tab, you pull his hand over and try to wipe the remnants of foundation off, starting from the heel up to each individual finger. It’s silent as you concentrate on getting it all off both hands, he was wearing black tonight and knowing him he’d rub his hand over his pants and get beige foundation all over. You knew because you’d seen him do it one too many times.

“All done” you quip, looking up and catching his stare. He’s smooth to slowly look away and retract his open hands from your lap about 5 seconds after it became noticeable.

You busy yourself by attempting to stash away the wipes to throw out later, closing the pack of wipes and shoving them back into your bag.

He’s watching you do all of this, his stare is burning holes into the side of your head. He’s desperate to say something, but you’re not sure if you want to hear.

“Let’s go back to my place. We’ll stick a candle into a sheet brownie and call it your birthday cake. Oh, we can pick up ice cream too!”, You say, costuming your voice to sound unaffected by his vibe.

And so you did stick a candle in the fresh batch of brownies you both made at 11PM, two hours before his actual birthday. Sitting across from each other on the counter, Mingyu has his eyes closed shut, hands clasped, wearing a ridiculously coloured ‘BIRTHDAY BOY’ headband you found somewhere deep in your drawers.

“You’re gonna get wax on the brownies and they're gonna be inedible, hurry up” You groan, after everytime it seems like he’s done, he clenches his eyes shut again as he remembers another thing he has to wish for.

You’re not actually annoyed, he looks the cutest he’s ever looked, but you would appreciate non waxed brownies.

When he’s finally done, he blows out the singular candle and you clap lightly, “yay!”

You’re pulling out the candle and grabbing forks, dumping a couple scoops of ice cream on before you two start eating straight out of the pan.

Its a collection of groans as you both collapse on your couch, regretting eating all that so soon after dinner. He changed out of his dinner outfit to a T-shirt and pajama pants, he’d started keeping a set of clothes in his car when it started to become routine for him to spend regular evenings after work at your place.

You’re in your own unicorn pajama’s, slumped over on the arm rest slightly. You feel Mingyu scooch over to put his head in your lap, claiming he was “closing his eyes for a minute”.

You knew how lightning fast he passes out, so not even 5 minutes later you start to hear his light snores. As much as you want to wake him up to move him to the bed, you know he can’t stay the night. His birthday meant he had to be with the boys, and needing to head out early tomorrow.

So you give him 10 more minutes, fingers tracing the shape of his features, in his soft hair massaging his head with your nails slightly. He had a little pout on his face as he slept. Things had been hectic for him lately, having a comeback later in the month and the plethora of music and variety shows to follow.

Mingyu had been writing lyrics on the kitchen island one day, sputtering random words as you quipped in rhymes of your own without context, stirring the pot of soup on the hob at the same time.

One particular rhyme you spew out catches him off guard and he barks out a laugh at the ridiculous combination.

“I should put you on song credits for this”

“What do you think my producer name could be?”

He thinks for a second, “Banana bread sounds stupid, um, how’s brownie?”

“Cute, and serious enough” you agree, “I’ll be expecting to see my name on that album, sir”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turn your attention back to the sleeping man curled up in your lap. You wonder if you could fall asleep on the couch too, keep him here with you for the night. Be a little selfish. It’d be nice, making waffles for breakfast when morning comes. But he needed to be at the dorm in the morning, the boys knew where he was but managers that’d come pouring in at 7 AM sharp, did not. And it was best kept that way. The last thing Mingyu wanted, you knew, was people getting the wrong idea. The thought stung a little bit, but you knew not to mix your hopes with what reality was giving you.

So you gather the courage to slowly reign him back from dreamland.

***

Your sitting with Mingyu and Seungkwan on the couches outside the dressing rooms, a little bit before they have to go to perform. You were done with your agenda and was waiting for them to start filing out before beginning to pack up.

“No, because why does he get to eat all the good stuff right out the oven and we don’t, that’s not fair” Seungkwan complained loudy to you, a mildly offended look on his face.

“Stop being such a complain bot, you’re never happy if I have nice things” Mingyu retorts, increasingly nasty looks being exchanged for an argument about freshly baked goods.

“Oh, I’m the hater?! Let me jog your memory, who was the one sulking and shoving me around when Y/n wouldn’t let you-”

Mingyu had jumped up and pulled Seungkwan into a headlock, his poor Americano half flying across the hall as he yells out in disarray.

“YAH!” cued with more noises of struggle and muffled threats.

You chose to embrace the violence by sitting in your seat and laughing as Vernon recorded their antics from the doorway inside eventually circing them for his supposed cinematic effect, catered for the inevitable weverse post that was to come.

Cut to them apologizing and cleaning up the mess of coffee and disregard.

You decide to be nice and attempt to make peace by reassuring Seungkwan, “Come over after you’re done promoting this week, I’ll make up for all the bread and cookies you missed out on”

“If you've finished with your escort duties Y/n, could you please come in and do your day job?”

The voice came from the doorway of the dressing room, your senior makeup artist standing there with her usual mildly inconvenienced expression. It took you a minute to fully understand what she meant by that sentence, your body completely still.

“Offended? What, like I’m wrong?”

You were no stranger to insulting behaviour in work places, but they’d always been revolving around your actual job description. People who didn’t like you knew they had to be smart on how they treated you regardles.

This was different. This felt like you were projected back in time to your solemn middle school days to mean girls taunting you about your spongebob socks, except multiply that by about a thousand.

You feel your stomach begin to churn as that nauseous feeling of shame began to settle itself into your veins.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there but when she slightly raises her voice; “Are you getting up or not?” your hands actively begin to tremble the slightest amount.

You’re making moves to get up by puting your coffee cup down, not knowing what to do except follow commands.

Your interrupted by a voice from behind; “She’s coming in, give us a minute”

Mingyu’s standing there, his expression stoic as Seungkwan and Vernon looked as stunned as you felt. You don’t register it in the moment, but the people in the hall, venue staff and those for other artists have also silenced, watching the scene unfold.

Her lips are in a tight line, her expression remaining irritated as she steps back inside the room.

You realise you need to do something to diffuse the escalated situation. Letting out a breathy laugh, you get up and tell them that you’ll be going inside, trying to keep your expression pleasant and unaffected, not waiting before turning around to spare them the burden of a response. People get yelled at everyday, and this is no different. You aren’t gonna be the one to make a scene out of a regular occurrence.

You know what's coming when you get inside, she’s waiting as she pulls you aside.

“Your behavior has been quite concerning recently, let me remind you of your place here and what you were hired to do. You've been dilly dallying with people who aren't even your friends, and its quite funny that you’d think they are. It's time to wake up from wasting your time making heart eyes at men who are way out of your league. I won't tolerate any more nonsense from you, and trust I won’t be this nice or forgiving the next time this happens”

You choose to nod your head.

“That’s another thing, use your own words. Don’t think other people are gonna be there all the time to speak for you” She spits out, her professional front slowly eroding the more she spoke.

“Yes, ma’am” You say, hoarse voice.

“Louder, next time”, she stalks out as majority of the people in the room also begin to leave for the filming downstairs.

You’re left standing awkwardly in front of the racks of clothes, trying to digest what just happened to you. Looking around the room, you try to figure out what your supposed to do.

Clothes on the couches, eyeshadow brushes on the floor. There’s a torn sponge resting underneath one of the chairs, a couple styrofoam boxes left on the tables from lunch.

There’s so much for you to do, you arent sure how you thought you had time to sit down and chat. But you’re not sure where to begin either. The room is a mess of smells and colours even without the buzzing noise of people getting ready. Tears begin to form as you try to navigate what you’re supposed to do, realising you can’t possibly find a starting point for any of this mess. Before you have time to think of anything else, a hand is holding onto your wrist, small and soft.

It’s Yoona, another one of the makeup artists.

“Y/n, I think it’s best if you go home, it’s been tiring.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her. Just trust me. Go home you’ll feel alot better”

She notices you hesitate for a second, and goes in to give you a hug.

It felt nice, to be hugged by a friend. For some reason, it didn’t feel like she was pitying you, her expression and aura reassuring you that you didn’t have to stand here alone.

“Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened, but you don’t need to think about that right now. Go home and do nice things for yourself, we’ll figure it out later. You have my number, give me a text once you get home. We can go out later if you want, when I get off work, to get your mind off things”

You’re not sure how you’re holding back the waterpark that has become of your tearducts as you hear those words from an unsuspecting friend, you nod with a smile. You feel a little more calm.

You can’t tell if you care enough to consider the consequences of your senior finding out how you’re doubling or nothing on your already posed humiliation. But the only thing you can think of right now is your bed and the ceiling you’d stare burn holes into.

So you, for the first time in a while, chose to choose yourself by picking up your satchel and leaving the chaos behind you as you walk to your car.

***

Just because you were brave where it mattered most doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to cry.

You had come home, shot Yoona a brief text, and promptly began to sob the absolute Nile into your sheets.

You had never cried like this before, loud wracked sobs coming from a place in your chest you had locked away during a time you couldn’t even remember. You’re breathing after every choked cry is a sputtered intake of life, only to spit it back out as you let out another sob of what sounds like agony. There’s nothing in your head, nothing but the words that were spoken to you as echoes of your own mind. Hypocritical of you to hate them when the same words circled in your head like a mantra every cursed, unfortunate day. She had done you a favour, by spitting out the truth you’d stewed, chewed and kept in your mouth ever since you got here. This was a you problem, to believe that you were capable of things beyond your bracket. You were told by the universe, screamed at by the world, that this was never meant for you, and you chose to ignore it. You chose to be stubborn. You brought this misery upon yourself.

Once you’ve disposed your body weight of tears and snot and burden, you’re left to stare at your innocent sheets now stained with mascara and your sorrows. You crawl into your covers and rest your muscles for a few seconds, head empty. You aren’t sure when you drift off, but you're glad that you do.

You don’t dream for once.

***

You wake up feeling like you drank a gallon of water and went to sleep. Your eyes, nose and throat feel like they’ve been over watered yet dry at the same time. You don’t realise what’s really arising pangs of irritancy in your brain once you figure out the consistent sound is a door bell. You’re doorbell, of the house that you live in.

You’re slow to push yourself up, realising your slept in your day clothes. It’s dark out but you're not sure what time it is, and quite frankly, you can’t say you care enough to check. You need to silence your doorbell first, which can only be done by silencing whatever hell sent individual was playing drums on the button outside.

It’s a record screech in your brain as you peer through your peephole and realise who the aforementioned hell sent individual was.

Mingyu was outside your door.

You don’t realise you look like you crawled out of a sewer till it’s too late and you’ve already opened the door through muscle memory. Mingyu was always welcome in your space.

He was in casual clothes, his hair pushed back from the guessed hands that ran through it, but he was still in stage his stage makeup.

“Oh, were you sleeping?” He asks, eyes a little wide, expression cautious.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go then, you weren’t answering your phone for anyone and you told Yoona you were home but you weren’t opening the door, i was worried. Sorry I ringed it so much I probably should’ve assumed-”

He stops to look at you, and it’s like realizes something before he finally says; “Just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’ll see you around. I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait,” you croak out, licking your lips, conscious of your morning voice, “Can you stay? Please? If you can.”

He stops to look at you, expression changing from sheepish to defensive.

“No! I mean, yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you want”

You let him in as he slips off his shoes and you lead him to the living room. His presence in the familiar place seems like it last happened eras ago, when he was only here maybe a week prior.

“You know where everything is, I’ll be back gimme like 5 minutes”

You’re scared to look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, so you don’t, and choose to scrub your face looking down at your sink. You change into a sweatshirt and trouser loungewear set, deciding to save your dignity a little bit further as you brush your hair and clip it back with a claw clip.

You take a breath before entering the living room again.

He’s sitting on the floor in your usual place, two steaming mugs on the coffee table, the tabs hanging out of the cup. He made you tea.

You sit down next to him, not really prepared for what you should be saying.

“How long has she been speaking to you like that?” He asks you quietly.

“She was always kinda itchy and uptight and stuff but, it was never like this” You say.

“Regardless, whatever that was, it was, wrong, uncalled for, all of those things” He says, sputtering a little bit.

He stops and sighs. It’s silect for a minute before he turns in his seat to face you, grabbing your folded legs and pulling you to face him too.

“Yoona heard everything she said to you after you went in, she heard it all. And she knows about some other stuff too. If you think, even for a second, that I’m not your friend, I might actually think there’s something wrong with you.

“If everything we’ve been through this past, almost a year, doesn’t amount to us at least being friends then I don’t know what it means to have one at all. You’re the first person in a while I’ve been able to be this open with. You know me better than most people, you’ve seen me at my worst and at my best. I’ve let you read me all you want, because I know I can be an open book if it’s you. I trust you more than I can trust myself sometimes, and I really wish you would trust me too.”

You’re watching him as he says all of this, you look up to make eye contact a couple times, and he’s looking at you everytime you lift your head.

“I do trust you. Probably more than anyone else. It’s myself I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to open up, I’m scared I’m gonna say something that’ll scare you away. And, I just thought maybe she was right today, that I need to realise that it can’t be that way between us, I have a job to do”

“What can’t be between us?”

“I like you, Mingyu. Like, I’m basically in love with you and have been since I fucking met you. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly be friends with someone like me, a confused, all over the place airhead who can’t tell right from left sometimes, forget you ever liking me. All that happened is that we became friends and I thought that this was as far as fate was gonna push us. All today told me was that … that was an overextension too. It was a wake up call that I can’t have everything in life. Things were going too well for us and I was letting myself think it could stay that way forever. I’m sorry for being this way, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and out of place. This is the last thing you’d want to hear from a friend and I’m sorry I’m putting you in this situation right now and that you had to go through that today-”

You don’t finish what your saying because you're interrupted. Interrupted by arms pulling you forward and into Mingyu in front of you.

Your both sitting in your living room at 3 AM, on the floor in front of your sofa like you both have so many times. Except now, Mingyu is holding you in his arms, and kissing you so delicately it hurts.

It’s warm, like getting into bed after a long day, the scent of home and security engulfing you as you begin to forget about the qualms of life.

He’s moving his lips slowly, with care and a feeling so overflowing you can’t describe.

He lets go slowly and rests his forehead against yours, his arms are around you tight, legs wrapped around your entire body so you can't escape - physically or mentally.

“You dumbass” You hear him say.

“I love you,Y/n. More than anything. And I need you to know that you don’t have to hide. If you think your thoughts are a burden then I want to carry it for you. I want you to realise you’re not alone. I want you to stop pushing me away. Everytime I want to do something nice for you, you try to push the effort to something else, everytime I try to take care of you, you have this look that makes me think you feel guilty for taking up my time or something. Everytime I think you’re about to ask me to stay the night, you remind me I have priorities and I should go, even though I know you want me to stay with you. I want you to stop caring so much for how other people feel and realise you can demand the same from the universe too. You deserve love and to be treated with care. You need to let people do that for you, love.”

Your looking at him now, your turn to have stars in your eyes.

He loves you.

And you feel it. You feel it in his words, in his eyes, in the kisses he’s leaving on your face, in his arms that are wrapped around you, ready to shield you from the world.

You don’t say anything as you fall into his chest, head on shoulder, relaxed body in the cage he’s made for you. You close your eyes as the tears are burning down your face. Except, this time they’re because your relieved.

You both got up from the uncomfortable floor and moved to your bed, still tangled within each other as you clarified everything else.

You found out that majority of the people who heard it were very upset at the situation, but didn’t know how to approach or confront her.

Seungkwan almost bust a blood vessel after he had digested what had happened, disbelief and threats on his tongue as he refused to get touched up by her during filming, apparently making a point to walk to somebody else. Seungcheol was thinking of trying to bring up the problem to management, considering how Mingyu too was distracted all the way home.

“The rest of them have gotten quite protective of you too, I think. It’s not like I shut up about you”

Apparently the only reason you were asked to start taking charge on makeup was because some of the other senior artists pressured your mentor to stop restricting you. It made you feel a little more secure that it wasn’t just you that felt pushed down.

She didn’t like that you were doing so well, considering it meant she was wrong about you and your abilities. It hurt her ego a little bit that people stopped preferring her to do their makeup or their touchups, how they wouldn’t interact with her the same way.

“Alot coming from a middle aged, married woman, attention seeking like a child” Mingyu added, scoffing with a sour face as he nuzzled into the crown of your head.

“The boys really like you by the way, they’ve been rooting for us since forever” He says, and your heart swells unimaginably so; you felt loved, so so loved.

You scooch up to plant a kiss on the underside of his chin and then one on his lips.

“That makes me happy”

“I’m happy that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy, everyday” He smooches you on the face again. “Oh, and don’t worry about that stinky face I’ll take care of her”

You laugh at the determination in his voice, but you wanted to clarify something.

“Please, let me handle her myself. I’ll ask for help if she’s stubborn but I wanna try by myself first”

“That was hot”

You push his chest away as you bark out a laugh at the random comment, hiding you face, by turning the other way.

He battles that by pull you back into his chest and continuing his atics

“What I can’t call my girlfriend hot. You’re hot. Your the sexiest motherfucker I’ve ever seen” smooch “You’re beautiful” and again “amazing” and again “gorgeous spectacular-”

You don’t fall asleep until the sun has well made its way up the sky, taking the executive decision to sleep in till way past lunch and maybe even take a nap afterwards.

You don’t care how it goes, because your happy just being with him.

***

You met with Yoona a couple days later at a cafe.

“Seungcheol asked us if we were facing the same kind of behaviour from her too. And everyone told him she was stuck up and rude and stuff. He said he wanted to bring it up to management but it didn’t really concern him directly so they wouldn’t listen. He told us to do so ourselves and we thought about it, but we’re gonna need to tell them about that too”

You nod your head as you listen to her speak, it was making sense.

“I dont mind going up to management at all and talking about it. I get that the rest of the stuff is a little too tame to be considered, which sucks because she shouldn’t be talking to us like that at all”

“Mhm, and I was thinking we could vouch for you on how she was restraining you for almost a year. Basically not letting you do your job. That’d be a another thing for them to think about”

“Yeah. Let’s do it asap, how’s this Monday?”

“Perfect, I’ll add everyone to a group chat and let them know”

And go up to management you did, who were surprisingly understanding. Apparently having received multiple reports and even videos of the most recent incident to act as proof. It was working out for all of you, and it proved to stay that way as they responded with a promise to shift her to a different department.

You had gone home that day feeling fulfilled and relieved. Mingyu, a man with spectacular timing had also proceeded to send you a text as a distraction,

[Mingyu]: Kwan wants to come over

[Mingyu]: something about croissants

[Mingyu]: Should he text you ab it?

[You]: yeah ofc

[You]: I’ll order the butter

[You]: you tell him to text me lol

Two nights ago felt like it happened last year with all the unimaginable advances deciding to happen within the past 48 hours. Right now you were more excited for the company you were about to recieve, more concerned with making sure you made the best batch of croissants Seungkwan ever did see.

***

You were in the car with Mingyu outside the company building, waiting until the clock struck 9 to go inside.

Today was the last day you’d think about this, being called up for a face to face meeting with the staff member, so she could formally apologise. The team had planned a dinner tonight, to celebrate the end of her ‘wicked reign’ as Yoona described it.

You were finding friends everywhere, ones that were always there, pulling through for each other as you yourself navigated a new direction of thinking for yourself. You were learning to walk past your anxiety ridden desire to draw lines with everyone, as you took the first step with the dinner tonight. It would be fun for you, and a bond you’d begin to build.

You learned that you weren’t delusional anymore, and that Mingyu did love you the same. It had only been a week or so, but one of the happiest weeks of your life, despite everything. He was teaching you more lessons than he thought he was.

Mingyu squeezes your hand from the driver’s side as it was past 9, “Let’s go?”

“Lets go”

***

Mingyu’s way too enthusiastic as soon as he wakes up, indulging you in a morning (afternoon) makeout session, claiming he doesn’t care for you morning breath.

“Well I do!” you exclaim, pushing him off with a giggle “About your morning breath, stinky”

He clutches his chest in dramatic offense, “How could you? I thought you loved me”

You respond my projecting a cushion to his face.

“Do you want pancakes or eggs for breakfast?” You ask, legs hanging over the bed.

Mingyu looks up, a wicked glint in his eye, and you immediately know he’s going to say something of no help.

“I want you for breakfast” He says, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back in bed.

“MINGYU!”

Needless to say, all was well.

#seventeen #carat #svt #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #mingyu #mingyu fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fic #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #svt x reader #em.writes

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pigeonpeach · 5 months

Text

Arlecchino’s Husbandry

Cw: Fem reader, implied nsfw, manipulation, motherhood. Lesbians.

Summary: You were hired to take care of the younger orphans but ended up becoming a mother-figure to them and also winning the heart of their father figure

Edit: i did this without proofread so sorry for any mistakes

To say childcare is easy is a lie. Even in the House of Hearth where their children are disciplined to become the perfect soldiers and agents are they still difficult at times. You were hired as a caretaker. Meant only to help with the domestic side of things, cleaning, laundry, bathing, and emotional stuff. The last part wasn’t in your job description but something you took upon yourself. You may not be a mother yourself, but maternal instincts were triggered when you saw the two twins added into the orphanage. Lynette and Lyney, the youngest currently were such adorable and loving children. It broke your heart to think how they must’ve ended up here. And Lynette especially, her avoidance and clear uncomfortable behaviors around older males painted a unpleasant picture that tugged at your heart strings. All the kids here had tragic stories to tell, but many had stopped crying for their mothers or simply stopped crying at all. You knew you couldn’t spoil them so you decided to take small steps. You read them bedtime stories first. You explained it to your colleagues as helping them learn to read early on so they wouldnt get the wrong idea. You picked pleasant stories. The children were a bit confused at first but they grew to love it. And overtime, you. You became a source of protection in their eyes. If a kid felt bullied by others they ran to you because you would hold them sweetly and whisper assurances. You were still good at disciplining them yes, but you werent as harsh as the others they’d known.

Lynette especially took fondness to you. You didn’t force her to hug or any physical affection, you offered her sweets as rewards and to help her feel more calm. She took a liking to you clearly, as in her free time she and her brother would follow you around asking if you needed help. It became routine that tje children themselves would help your chores when they had free time. They prepared the clotheslines and washed their dishes,they wanted to make your job easy so they’d stay. You were quite proud of this, tje kids clearly adored you. Although you were worried what the Knave would assume or think if she saw how soft you were to them.

But You didn’t know that when she did catch sight of her that her gaze softened. Arlecchino had never craved for love or affection in years, but seeing you sat on a rocking chair with her children gathered around made her infatuated with you. You had such a soft presence, one that could melt ice cold hearts and dry tears. Your softness actually helped the children be more loyal unbeknownst to you. They wanted to make you proud and protect the home you fostered. Her affections however were noticed by the kids. Especially when she heard one referring to you as “mother”. If she was their father and you their mother, then you would be hers wouldn’t you? That idea wasn’t unpleasant but rather addictive. So she decided to become more acquainted with you. She praised you for your efforts and even offered assistance.

For the children they became even more attached, you bought a more fatherly side to their father. They noticed she became less agitated or more calm around you. So they wanted you stay, they wanted you to marry her actually so you could legally be their mother as well. With Arlecchino’s guidance they told flattering tales of their father, how much she seemed to like you. How perfectly you two would be.

Apart of you was hesitant. Arlecchino is a harbinger afterall. And you are only a low lying underling who has no combat skills whatsoever. But the way she raises your palm to her lips to greet you, the way she calls you into her office very often to just spend time with you, how she buys you your favorite teas or coffees, your favorite foods or treats, its started to make you flustered. She’s grown more bold the less resistance you show, she sometimes plays with your hair making you blush, sometimes her nails trace gently over your skin. But her eyes, although unhuman, they hold such devotion and adoration that it’s addictive. How can one not fall in love when they look at you with such a look?

So you accepted her proposal, to be her wife. To be the mother of her many children. Something celebrated within the house of Hearth. Your job did change, you had more authority as a manager of sorts rather than a domestic servant. You still spent time with the kids however. You still let them sit in your lap or nap on you. But now when Alrecchino comes back from missions or meetings she immediately heads to you to greet you. Her devotion hasn’t stopped or changed. She holds you close and presses her head to your neck as she inhales your scent. Leaving a kiss on your collar and a shiver down your spine. Her hands trace your body just to feel your soft unmarked skin. And when she gives a certain look you know you’ll struggle to get out of bed the next day. Alrecchino is a devoted woman after all. She may not be the best father ever but she is certainly a good and devoted lover.

#genshin imagines #arlechinno genshin #arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino #wlw yearning #domestic fluff #ifuckinglovethiswomansomuch

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idololivine · 2 months

Text

NEON Carnival Q&A Pamphlet Translation

disclaimer: apparently Taiwanese Mandarin is different from what I speak, so some of these may need to be taken with a grain of salt! my credentials are that my native language is Cantonese and I know - but am rusty on - Mainland Mandarin.

Q: Do the characters have set dick sizes? A: The team has a "super⭐secret measure", every time they draw the characters they'll reference it.

Q: Between Quincy and Olivine, who has the bigger breasts? A: The team fought over this and couldn't decide, so there's no answer.

Q: I want to know the ages of the long lived ones, the yokai, and the familiars! Who's the oldest? A: From oldest to youngest are: Kuya > Quincy > Rei > Aster > Morvay > Yakumo > Garu. The specifics of their ages will be revealed in the game.

Q: Who's older between Father and Topper? A: Father is older than Topper!

Q: The game has a lot of retro stuff, super curious about the producer's age! A: Retro has nothing to do with the producer's age!!!

Q: How are the kinks of each room thought up? A: The devs think of them in the small dark room, the artbook sketches include clues. [t/n: I consulted two other Chinese speakers and I'm still not really sure what the answer actually means, so this is a best guess translation.]

Q: What's inside the small dark room? A: Tired and busy devs......

Q: When designing event outfits, how do you decide where to open holes? A: Different people will think of the parts they want to highlight, later on we'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like we haven't thought of throwing darts to decide) [t/n: little unsure about this one too. it's possible it means they think of which part of the characters they want to highlight, but they used 眷屬 rather than 角色.] EDIT: @milkeumilkeou has informed me that in the specific context of nuca, 眷屬 means clan members. that's what I get for not playing the game in Chinese... in this case, the better translation is: A: Depending on the clan member the devs will open the holes at the places they want to highlight, later on they'll also test different levels of nakedness. (it's not like they haven't thought of throwing darts to decide)

Q: How were the voice actors chosen? A: The producer chose them according to the characters' personalities and the desired voice. Many thanks to the voice actors!

Q: How far in advance do future events begin production? A: Usually the topic is decided on about 4 - 6 months in advance, and then production begins.

Q: I want to know which character the devs think would be the best coworker! A: Everyone agrees the best coworkers would be Eiden, Edmond and Olivine; Dante's work ability is also very strong, but he's more like a head that scares people. [t/n: 'head' may also translate to director or manager.]

Q: Do the characters have body hair? A: The devs actually really wanted to draw it, but considered various realistic reasons, so the players can't see body hair, but you're free to imagine it! (let Quincy have some stubble... how would that be?) [t/n: I would guess that the 'realistic reasons' they considered are probably that BL typically doesn't feature body hair, so it might've made the game less marketable.]

Q: Who has the most sexual experience? A: Morvay! (super fast answer) [t/n: the question is literally "who has the most experience♂️?" lol]

Q: Does the Klein Continent have a habit of wearing underwear? A: Klein has underwear. Just like hats, gloves, and scarves, when considering factors like decoration and functionality, to wear or not to wear underwear, and what type of underwear to wear, all depend on each person's preferences.

Q: Is Eiden's light brown hair dyed? A: Yes, and he'll regularly re-dye it.

Q: Does Eiden prefer briefs or boxers? A: It's okay as long as it's snug and covers him, and he has some special styles.

Q: I want to know how Eiden gets to work! A: Eiden rides a motorcycle, and on rainy days he'll switch to public transportation.

Q: What opportunity led to Eiden's interest in design? Did his designing always have to do with sex toys? A: Eiden has had artistic talent from a young age, and hoped to turn his passion into a job. His first job was being a sex toy designer at Peak of Pleasure, and this job happened to combine his two interests of design and sex. Aside from the overtime, for Eiden, this was an ideal job. [t/n: in case you don't remember, Peak of Pleasure is the name of Eiden's old workplace as mentioned in Journey to a NU World.]

Q: I want to know Eiden's relationship history! Did he have boyfriends before? A: Eiden knew he liked men from a young age. When he was fifteen he had a bitter first love, and afterwards his partners were all short term. Towards relationships he carries a generous attitude of easy-come-easy-go, and thinks that being happy in the moment is more important.

Q: Does Topper have others of his kind? A: He used to, but when he met Quincy, among those of his kind only Topper was left. [t/n: 手足 may also translate to 'siblings' or 'close friends', as opposed to 'others of his kind'.]

Q: Who makes Topper's outfits? A: Sometimes they're prepared by Quincy, sometimes they're made by Eiden.

Q: Does the food Topper hide in Quincy's hair affect Quincy washing his hair? A: No, Quincy will wash his hair when it needs to be washed. But not long after Quincy washes his hair, the food stores in his hair will be quickly refilled by Topper.

Q: I want to know Topper and Father's weights! A: Little animals' weights will fluctuate, but there's no direct link to fur amount. Topper weighs about a third of a pampo, Father only weighs about half a music box. [t/n: pampo as in the pumpkins from Eerie Escapade.]

Q: What's Yakumo's signature dish? A: He's good at everything, especially savory food. Because of his grandparents' influence he rarely eats sweets, and he can't quite grasp the seasoning amount, but after meeting Eiden he's begun to research sweets recipes.

Q: How is Edmond's knights' uniform worn? A: The uniform has a top piece and a bottom piece, the jumpsuit has a zipper on the back for convenience.

Q: If Edmond came to Taiwan, how sweet would he order his boba tea? A: After ordering full sweetness, Edmond would feel that it could be twice as sweet.

Q: How many nipple chains does Olivine have? A: Olivine makes all of his own nipple chains. He'll change them based on style and mood. The number continues to increase.

Q: Will Quincy help brush Topper's fur? A: Quincy will sometimes help brush Topper, but most of the time Topper will groom himself.

Q: Quincy, Olivine, and Kuya, who would win an arm wrestling match? A: Olivine would win, because Quincy wouldn't take it seriously and Kuya wouldn't compete.

Q: Please reveal Kuya's real height! A: It's 178cm ^^.

Q: I want to know Kuya's experiences before and after becoming a yokai! A: Kuya's journey of becoming a yokai will be revealed in future scenes. What can be revealed now is that, after Kuya became a yokai, he was a lawbreaker for some time...

Q: When Kuya addresses Quincy, why did it change from "boring associate" to "old friend"? A: When Kuya says "old friend" he doesn't mean true friends, he just likes addressing people in ways that make them uncomfortable, like "Master Rei". [t/n: Kuya probably didn't call Quincy "boring associate", but I have no idea where to begin looking for what he actually called Quincy.] EDIT: Kuya used to call Quincy "boring clan member" rather than "boring associate". credit to @milkeumilkeou once again!

Q: Does Garu sleep nude? A: He doesn't like pajamas that are restrictive or impede movement, but if it's cold Eiden will wrap him up in clothes or a blanket!

Q: When Dante first adopted Sooley, how did they get along? A: At first Dante got bitten terribly, because he tried to train Sooley to do various tricks. As they spent more time together, the two eventually developed some mutual understanding of wildness.

Q: Can Dante swim? A: Dante thinks that with something as small as swimming, you just need to learn! [t/n: Dante dodges the question here and neither confirms nor denies whether he can swim, just says that anyone can learn. knowing how he is, he's probably being ambiguous because he doesn't want to admit he can't.]

Q: How many darlings has Blade made? A: Because Blade's favorite is cute things, it's infinitely increasing...... [t/n: 'darlings' as in the goofy little statue guys]

Q: Has Rei always been in the Water Territory? Has he moved before? A: Rei doesn't have a fixed home, he moves regularly. The room in the Water Territory is just one of his hiding places, it used to be an abandoned house.

Q: Does Rei eat when he's experimenting? A: He'll eat if he remembers, if Father's there he'll also remind Rei.

Q: If Fluff Balls think Fluff Balls are cute, will they eat their own kind? A: They won't eat each other. If there aren't cute things around, the Fluff Balls will journey in search of them. [t/n: since when was eating cute things part of Fluff Ball lore...?]

Q: Where is everyone's erogenous zones? A: Aside from the gemstones, everyone's erogenous zones are as follows: Eiden: lower abdomen Yakumo: tongue Edmond: nipples Olivine: entire chest Quincy: dick, palms Kuya: ears Garu: tail Blade: darling♡ Dante: tattoos, especially the Adam's apple and fingers [t/n: might be throat instead of specifically Adam's apple] Rei: moles

Q: I want to know where everyone starts washing when they shower! A: Hair: Eiden, Yakumo, Edmond, Olivine, Topper (the fur on top of his head) Face: Dante, Sooley Upper body: Quincy, Father (chest feathers) Lower body: Garu (tail first), Morvay (also tail first♂️) Anywhere's fine: Rei, Blade (e-droids' bodies will automatically maintain cleanliness) Kuya: nobody knows where he washes first, but it's said he showers every day Aster: likes to bathe

Q: When drawing characters, are there emphasized specialties? A: Eiden: dick size, the balance of everything Yakumo: height, his slender body, the size of his feet as proportional to his height, finger length Edmond: waist to hip ratio, thighs Olivine: chest, eyes Quincy: arms, shoulders, pecs, Topper Kuya: face, palms Garu: his face/cheeks shape, his round butt Blade: eyes, balanced model-like body, his cheeks when he smiles Dante: perfectly triangular upper body Rei: the firm lines of his body Aster: brattiness and cuteness Morvay: muscular but not too buff

Q: In Aster's mansion, does everyone have their favorite locations? A: Eiden: his own study (he designs a lot of things here) Yakumo: kitchen (cooking) Garu: kitchen (stealing Yakumo's cooking) Edmond: garden (frequently has afternoon tea here) Olivine: library Blade: library Quincy: quiet places where he can sleep Kuya: next to the fireplace Dante: living room Rei: places to put collectables Aster: personal money vault Morvay: likes being outside, doesn't like staying home

Q: Do the characters have personal clothes? A: Eiden: in his rebellious phase he liked dressing up, now he prefers simple, comfortable clothes. He has a changing room at Aster's house, and every event he'll absorb the local trends and design outfits that fit Klein aesthetics and seasons. Yakumo: aside from traditional snake yokai attire, Yakumo's clothes are almost entirely bought by his grandparents. Edmond: because he's nobility, he has a lot of clothes. Olivine: because he dedicated his life to the priesthood, Olivine doesn't have many personal clothes. Quincy: he has few clothes. Most of them are made by him, so they're rare. Kuya: he likes trendy and new stuff, so he has a lot of accessories. Garu: it was only after he started living with Aster that he started getting more clothes (Aster and Eiden buy a lot of clothes for him). Blade: he'll wear whatever people give him, and he looks good in everything. Dante: he doesn't like wasting money, but as the Sun Lord, he has special outfits for important occasions. Rei: it's fine as long as it's wearable, he prioritizes ease of movement. Aster: prefers pretty, fancy designs, and especially likes clothes with cute accessories. Morvay: likes practical (easy to take off) clothes.

#my posts #nu carnival #nu: carnival

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junnieverse · 8 months

Text

IT GIRL L♡VER ➳ ENHYPEN

➙ what it's like for enhypen to be dating their s/o who is also an idol

pairing: enhypen x afab!reader

genre: fluff, a tiny bit suggestive under heeseung's

request: " Cutie patotiiiiii. What do we think about enhypen dating an idol s/o? Maybe even the it girl of the generation? Sending you lots of love <3 ~ sunshine ☀️"

a/n: here it is anon, thank you for the request sweetie and sending you even more love right back, hope you like it!

a/n (2): it has also been brought to my attention that @/rlcswo on tiktok has stolen this word for word so please do go and report this user everyone

a/n (3): shameless self promo, I have a new enha series (still ongoing) so please do check it out, thank you <3

🖇️ — 양정원 ; JUNGWON !

he is constantly doing covers of your group's dances

he is a bit more lowkey and 'professional' about your relationship

more 'private but not secret' because he knows how you both need to keep your work separated to your private life

but he will be posting his selcas with you to show fans how smitten he is

jungwon is already incredibly active on weverse always replying to fans but now talking about you is all he ever does

'Jungwon how was your day?' a fan would ask

'Just had lunch with my sweet (y/n) and now I'm going to practice!'

biggest simp ever actually

sees you on the big screen during an award show and he's all smiles now, it's adorable :(

but ofcourse you would be displaying the biggest grin ever seeing jungwon shining on stage too

🖇️ — 이희승 ; HEESEUNG !

this man would risk it all for your relationship

whenever you were both together in public he would always be overly affectionate (giving dispatch a field day with the amount of content)

he knows you want to keep things a bit more private despite being in a confirmed public relationship because engene are a little... yeah

but ofcourse majority of them were very supportive and found you and hee to be such a cute couple

the amount of edits of him giving you 'the look' and fans constantly commenting how they wished they were you even for just a second

you'd usually try to stay composed around heeseung but your boyfriend was a tease and he wanted to see you become a flustered mess even on camera

k-netz knew this too because during an enhypen performance, when heeseung's part would come up the camera workers would always try to get the camera on you to get your reaction

let's just say there are many YouTube compilation videos of you simping for your boyfriend

'(Y/n) folding for Heeseung for 8 minutes straight'

🖇️ — 박종성 ; JAY !

jay usually keeps your relationship with him private unless it is brought up or he has something to say about you relating to something he was talking about

"Speaking of actually, (Y/n) showed me how to play this new song on my guitar." jay says during the live as he played a few chords

and during the en o clock episode where he was making muscles for the boys, he wasn’t sure on how to make them and so he called you to help him

fans found it endearing how he causally stayed on the call with you throughout him cooking and his phone would pass around the boys whilst they all said hi and made small talk with you

it soon became a normal thing where during lives if you were to call you would say hi to engene and during your lives he would say hi to your fans

he's always buying you gifts

during your lives there is atleast one item you have on that you'll mention saying you got it as a gift from jay

jay is very much into his rock music and that's pretty much 95% of his Spotify and then the other 5% is your group's songs

🖇️ — 심재윤 ; JAKE !

the most supportive boyfriend ever

best believe he is cheering the loudest during your performances and when your group wins an award

if it's one thing jake was gonna do, it was shamelessly promote you and your group's music

he plays atleast one song from your group during his solo lives and he talks about which songs he likes more and how hard you worked on it

during interviews, just from hearing your name he becomes like a happy pup wagging it's tail like it's time for his walk

the members always tease him for how much of a simp he is but fans find it so cute and wish for a jake of their own

'10 minutes of Jake being (Y/n)'s biggest fan'

you both have matching couple rings that you never take off even during performances

overall just super proud to call himself your boyfriend :(

🖇️ — 박성훈 ; SUNGHOON !

when ni-ki mentioned how sunghoon has high standards he wasnt lying, but then again you are the standard :p

a complete show off unlike jungwon

"Oh you know (y/n)? Yeah they're my girlfriend, isn't she pretty." he would say during a live

despite your protests telling him to stop he just wants everyone to know that your his

now he's all boastful when you aren't there but the minute you're both in one room, it's like he doesn't know how to act

hoon becomes almost robotic and can't even maintain eye contact with you

gets all shy in front of everyone and can't show you any pda

you both had to mc together once and hoon kept stumbling over his words and would blush everytime you looked over to him and smiled

the 4th gen it couple everyone loves and wants to be or be like

🖇️ — 김선우 ; SUNOO !

being called the 'sunshinez' as your couple nickname

loves spending time with you

he passed the friend check too and your members absolutely adore him (just as much as the enha members adore you)

you didn't know this until he mentioned it on a live but he collects your pcs

your no. 1 fanboy that's for sure

fans even noticed how you'd both started picking up small habits from each other

the couple that has all the juiciest tea on people in the industry

fans soon found out you'd actually been supporting him since his i-land days and found it so special

he posts atleast one photo he has with you atleast once a week and it's always the cutest thing

🖇️ — 西村力 ; NI-KI !

he loves seeing you wearing his clothes during lives or part of your airport fashion

similarly to jake, you and riki have matching couple necklaces that you always have on

now riki usually keeps to himself but when it comes to you he suddenly comes out from his cave

he could disappear without posting for weeks to a month but when your group has a comeback he is the first to post it on his weverse to promote it and fans will tease him about it

'Ni-ki coming out of the trenches to hype up his girl' fans would say

'You'll know Riki's alive when he makes a post about or with (y/n)'

ofcourse netizens are quick to notice that too calling it couple goals

if he's not out with jake then he's either at home or with you, no in between

he's always sharing inside jokes he has with you to fans and they love how happy you make him

if ni-ki isn't updating fans, they come to you begging you to tell your boyfriend and miraculously he updates on social media

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vivwritesfics · 5 months

Text

Keep On Rolling

Chapter Twelve

Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.

After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?

Right?

2K words

Series Masterlist

“I have done God’s work.”

It was a bold sentence, but some people would have agreed with her.

She sat in front of her camera, black headphones covering her ears. Y/N had never done a video quite like this one before; to her viewers it didn’t seem to be anything Formula One related. But it was, they just needed to be patient.

“So, as a good lot of you have noticed, I have spent the last week streaming on Twitch,” she said, moving her hands a lot. “And I know a lot of you thought this was weird, considering I’ve been absent for the last few weeks, but I’m hoping this video makes up for it,” she finished, looking somewhat guilty as she stared at the camera. “Because, as you also probably realised, I wasn’t streaming alone.”

She grinned at the camera as four pictures popped up, one in each corner of the screen. “That’s right, guy!” Animated confetti covered the screen. “I got the Twitch Quartet back together!”

The pictures were moving, Charles, Alex, Lando and George all cheering. “Anything you guys want to say before we roll the footage?” Y/N asked the boys as she leaned back in her chair.

“Uh yes,” Lando said instantly as he got himself more comfortable. “I let her win because I’m a good friend. I am not [bleep] at these games. I’m actually really really good at these games,” he said and stared into his monitor camera.

“You little liar!” George shouted with a laugh.

“It’s fine, Lando. Those who watched the stream know what they say,” Y/N replied with a smirk. She gave one final word before the footage of their streams over the last few weeks started.

Y/N had never watched her own videos before. She trusted James with her whole heart and uploaded what he sent back to her. But this was her first video back since her hiatus and she wanted to make sure it was perfect. It was, edited in a way that made it funny and enjoyable even to those who didn’t game.

As Y/N watched the video, her phone buzzed.

It was a text from Max – three simple words. Come to Monaco.

What were they? Y/N didn’t know. They weren’t friends, definitely more than that now. But they weren’t quite dating. It was basically friends with benefits, with both of them needing to take that leap into relationship.

Friends with benefits was hard when you’re in two different countries. And Y/N’s youtube salary didn’t give her enough money to be flying to and from Monaco every time Max wanted her.

And she told him that. I can’t, she typed out, the video still playing on her laptop. I haven’t got that kind of money.

I’ll pay for it.

She hated it when he did that, hated it when Max offered to pay for her. It was… Icky, made her feel like their relationship was completely transactional.

But she did want to see him, and she didn’t have it in her to turn him down. Okay, she replied and began shoving clothes into her bag.

There was no telling how long she was going to be in Monaco for, when Max would let her go home, when she’d want to go home. So, she bought a plane ticket, not caring about how expensive it was, and Max sent her the money.

Just five hours later Y/N was touching down in France. She got in the taxi and made her way into Monaco, heading towards Max’s apartment. Because of her friendship with Lando, it was easy to recognise her. Especially in Monaco. As soon as Lando had moved there and Y/N had visited him, oh so many pictures of the two of them circulated. Her face circulated the Formula One social media pages and so many people thought they were dating.

But nobody seemed to notice or recognise her as Y/N stepped out of the cab and made he way into Max’s apartment building. She made her way up to his floor, her black McLaren backpack on her shoulders.

As soon as Y/N knocked, Max opened the door and pulled her inside.

He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her as she kicked the door shut behind them. “I miss you,” he whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck. From their cat tree, Jimmy and Sassy looked up at her, but they quickly went back to sleeping.

“I missed you too,” she said, her face squashed against her chest.

Max released her and Y/N looked around. She’d been to the apartment every times since that moment in the rain, had slept in his bed just three times. When she didn’t sleep over at his, she made her way to Lando’s, surprising him.

Y/N walked through the apartment, petting the cats as she walked past. She placed her bag down in the bedroom and walked back out towards Max. “Dinner?” She asked him and Max grinned.

He grabbed a jacket from the back of the sofa. “We’re eating out,” he said and Y/N stared at him.

“We’re… what?” She couldn’t quite believe it, couldn’t quite believe that Max wanted to go out for dinner. “But...” It was incredibly hard to express just how she was feeling. “If we’re seen out for dinner, people will talk, you know that?”

Max nodded his head. “Let them.”

***

So, they were out, having dinner. Y/N L/N was having dinner with Max Verstappen. She was having dinner with a two time world champion. It was crazy, unbelievable actually. They sat there, drinks in front of them, enjoying a way too expensive dinner that Max was more than happy to pay for.

She didn’t notice the people taking pictures of them, the papparazi that had honed in on their location. If Max noticed, he didn’t say anything. They were out enjoying dinner together, he wasn’t going to let anybody ruin their night.

After dinner they headed back to the apartment. Any minute now there was going to be news stories about them, she knew as Max shut the door behind them. He leaned against it, watching as Y/N shrugged off her jacket. She hadn’t dressed up fancy, in the same comfy clothes she had travelled in. But Max thought she looked perfect.

He smiled as he pushed away from the door and strode over to her. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned in close, kissing her suddenly.

Kissing Max was always unexpected to Y/N. She never expected it, never expected to be kissing the Dutchman. Shock always delayed her reaction and she always took a second to kiss him back.

But she always did, always wrapped her arms around him, leaned into him and always kissed him back. Her eyes closed and Max stepped forward, with Y/N stepping back. When she hit the sofa he lifted her up, sitting her on the back of it.

She pulled away and looked up at him. But there wasn’t much she wanted to day, not much that could convey her wants and her needs. As she looked to the bedroom, Max seem to understand. He lifted her up, holding onto her ass and carried her as Y/N wrapped her legs around him.

***

It was always surreal waking up in Max’s Verstappens bed. Y/N woke up, facing a still sleeping Max. He snored softly as she climbed out of the bed and pulled on his shirt. She grabbed her phone and made her way to the bathroom.

Once she was finished up, Y/N made herself a coffee and sat herself on Max’s couch. She’d been there enough that she no longer felt too awkward about getting herself something to eat and drink in the morning.

As she sat there, she scrolled through her notifications. Texts, emails, a plethora of Instagram notifications. At the bottom of her notifications was a couple of news paper articles. All of them were about the same thing, her and Max having dinner together.

All of the articles named her, named her youtube channel. It was out there now, the world knew. A lot of the messages she had received in the last few hours were about that and nothing but that, sending her screenshots of the articles.

Y/N ignored all of the messages. She hadn’t even discussed it with Max yet, she certainly wasn’t going to discuss it with anybody else. There were messages from Lando, George, Alex and Charles, her best friends on the grid. Y/N ignored them, too. As much as she didn’t want to, she wasn’t going to tell them anything without knowing whether Max agreed with her first.

She clicked her tongue and used her nails to scratch at the material of the couch. Jimmy came running, but Sassy kept sunning herself. “Hey, sweetness,” she said as she scratched the top of his head. He purred and pushed his head further into her hand, asking for more attention. When Y/N moved to stroke along his back, he sniffed at her coffee, but Y/N pulled the mug away.

“Hey.”

She looked up towards Max’s bedroom door. “Hey,” she replied as Jimmy jumped down from the couch and went trotting over to Max, rubbing his body against his legs. “Sleep well?”

They both knew they had progressed further than this small talk. Max didn’t answer as he walked over and sat beside Y/N, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his side. He went to take a sip of her coffee, but Y/N pulled it away. “Surely you’re contractually allowed to only drink red bull,” she said and let a grin cross her face.

Max shook his head at her. But he stood walked into the kitchen and returned with a cold, fresh Red Bull. “Happy now?” He asked and sat beside her.

Y/N nodded her head. But the laughter and the smile dropped away. “I want to show you something,” she said and pulled up her phone. She went into the articles and passed her phone to Max.

Two time Formula One world champion Max Verstappen seen out in Monaco with mystery woman.

Below the text was a picture of him and Y/N at dinner, with photographer only capturing Max’s face and the back of Y/N. He read on.

On the night of Tuesday 19th of September Max Verstappen was spotted by fans with a new woman in an Italian restaurant in Monaco. The driver has not been romantically linked with anybody for quite some time.

It took fans only moments to discover that this mystery woman was youtuber FormulaY/N, a Formula One media personality and best friend to Lando Norris. While it is not uncommon to see her enjoying a meal or a stop at a café with her driver friends, many fans have been quoted saying that this interaction feels difference.

This begs the question, was this just a friendly dinner? Or was something more going on?

So far neither Max nor Y/N have been seen giving any indication of the intentions of this interaction.

“Intentions of this interaction?” Max asked as he passed the phone back to Y/N. “I thought the intention of that interaction was clearly that I want to be with you.” He answered.

But Y/N didn’t have an answer to that. Well, she did, but it wasn’t verbal.

Once again she passed the phone to Max, showing him her email inbox. At the very top of the inbox was one name that stuck out like a sore thumb. Jos Verstappen. Subject line My Son.

Taglist (Open): @sticksdoesart @eviethetheatrefreak @eugene-emt-roe @glai1023-blog @mqcherie @itsjustkhaos @chonkybonky @arian-directioner @lazybot @lpab @princessria127 @fangirl125reader @honethatty12 @larastark3107 @urfavouritef1girly @cassiopeiia24 @callsign-scully @lexiecamposv @dl-yum @savagecelery @laneyspaulding19 @formulas-bitch @teenwolf01 @gayfrog29 @fictionalcomforts @avg-golden-retriever @pxppeypianotme @ruleroftheuniverse @ferrarisbitch @ashy-kit @dark-night-sky-99 @sadg3 @asmoothoperator @formula1mount @perfektpasta @redwolfxx @illicitverstappen @ttzamara @nush4 @larastark3107 @rewmuslupin @spilled-coffee-cup @chiliwhore

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ravencincaide · 3 months

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How do you want it

Summary: Dazai has gotten you many presents, and has been generous enough to let you pick which one you wanted to try first. But it was best your hurried, or else he’d pick one for you.

Pairing: Fem! reader x Dazai Osamu

Warnings: Mature content minors DNI!

This fic/drabble contains:

Use of sexual toys, mention of oral (female receiving), use of cuffs, inexperienced nervous reader with very experienced Dazai.

“Come now belladonna, if you keep me waiting I’ll just have to decide for you”

His singsong voice sent shivers up and down your spine. Butterflies- no anxious and excited snakes played ping pong in your stomach. You bit your lip, holding back a gasp as you felt him draw nearer. Hot breath hit the base of your neck, arms on either side of you, ever so often he brushed them up against yours. Hairs raised on your arms with each touch; goosebumps on your skin gave your arousal away.

Traitorous body.

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he hummed closer; as he caged you in between his chest and the array of ‘gifts’ he had so thoughtfully laid out on the table. “ Well my belle?” Dazai trailed the shell of your ear with his lips, then nipped ever so slightly on your earlobe. You gasped- your perfect mask of disinterested control, not so perfect anymore. Another nip, then smirking lips landed on your cheek.

A mocking sweet touch- a taunting kiss.

“ Now that we’ve established you’re interested in my Valentine night suggestions, why not pick the ones you fancy” Dazai chuckled and made an exaggerated motion towards the table once more. All covered in pink and red and white erotic simulators and their likes. Few reasonable- many far beyond what you had seen, let alone tested.

“ We did not establish anything, I am not–” Dazai grasped your hand in his and trailed it over the phallic appendages, purposefully wrapping your hand around the largest- monstrous sized dildo. The thing you couldn’t even grasp with one hand- let alone push inside you. “ -Maybe this one bella?”

Before you could reply he moved your hand towards the rabbit vibrator still inside its newly purchased special edition box.

“ Or this inside you, taking you to highs of pleasure while wearing these-” Dazai purred as his hand left yours and grasped the skimpy underwear made of actual candy. The devil's grin was back- you caught a glimpse of it as Dazai leaned back to your ear, as if sharing a secret he didn’t want anyone to hear. And yet his voice was loud- so loud anyone passing by his office would be able to hear him; “ Imagine donna; the rabbit inside you while I eat these off your gushing pussy, one candy at a time. With you being the ultimate desert”

His body pushed up against you, hard cock against the cushion of your ass. The clothes doing little to hide his desperate need; the carnal desire that could barely wait until the work days end. Dazai pushed himself firmer against you, almost rutting the soft flesh. Scratch waiting until tonight- you’d be surprised if he could hold himself through his next meeting without either skipping it or doing something indecent under the table.

“ Maybe we should check that they fit you, sweetheart?” Dazai’s lips were on your neck, his teeth assaulting the delicate skin. Not giving you time to think, to pick, to consider- just time to feel.

“ The c-cuffs” you gasped out in between moans, finally picking your gift. The words made Dazai freeze- pause as if he did not expect that answer. Then he raised his head, the look in his eyes sadistically lust filled.

“ I agree belladonna,let's add the cuffs to this delicious mix!”

Author note: Happy naughty Valentines day! I hope this fic fills your mind with all sorts of ideas! Stay tuned for another fic update in four hours.

Hope you enjoyed ❤️

Like this work and want more? Check out Raven's Masterlist

©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me!

#raven's special #raven cincade's works #Raven's drabbles #Raven's short fics #bsd valentines #bsd dazai #dazai smut #dazai x reader #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x fem reader #you x osamu

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tomorrowillbeyou · 1 month

Text

Thursday 2005 demos

These are some early demos for A City by the Light Divided which were stolen from the band and leaked in September 2005. I haven't seen anyone post about them so I thought I would myself. Below are lyrics and some extra context. I have tried to transcribe the lyrics as best I can but I have pretty bad auditory processing disorder so there will inevitably be some errors. If you spot a mistake, let me know and I will edit the post. The formatting and details of the lyrics are mostly based on the CD booklet.

Blog post

After the demos were leaked, Geoff made this blog post on the Thursday website on September 21 2005:

1 - At This Velocity - Lyrics

Hey friends-

SO… we see that the early demos we did for the record have FINALLY leaked. In this day and age anything and everything that passes through a computer eventually ends up being available to everyone at the click of a button. Many of you know that Thursday is one of the few bands that actually supports file sharing!!! We love the fact that music is available to everyone whenever they need it. We have always told our friends and 'fans' that they should download any of our albums that they can't afford or can't find in stores.

These demos, however, weren't ready for anyone to hear. These songs have all changed substantially since those demos and will probably change between now and the recording. Just to help you guys understand these demos, here's a user's guide: 1. most of these songs don't have names because the lyrics are still being written… a song only really becomes a song for us when we figure out EXACTLY what it's about. 2. One of these songs is actually the reincarnated out-take of a song that we cut from war all the time. 3. Andrew had just joined the band as a full fledged member when we recorded these and his keyboard parts were still sketchy at best. 4. There is one song, however, that is much closer to finished than the other's. It's called "At This Velocity" and it's about a crash landing in an airplane on the other side of the world. This song was started when we were in Australia on tour with the Flaming Lips, the Mars Volta and Poison the Well. The first line of the song is, "We were safe, Now we're paralyzed, Suspended in flight…" We hope you enjoy it.

On a related and timely note, we are very excited to announce that we will be heading into the studio with Dave Fridmann at the beginning of October to start on our new album. His work with the Flaming Lips, Weezer, Mogwai and Sleater Kinney has produced some of the finest albums of the last ten years. Dave is one of the few modern producers really pushing the medium and he's one of the nicest guys in the business. We started preproduction on the sixteen songs we've written. In the short amount of time we've been working with Dave he's already pushing us to new musical and emotional ground.

Anyway, thank you all for the love that you have always shown us. These demos aren't really a good indication so try not to listen to them too much (we don't want you to get used to them this way!!!). We're just happy that all the really great stuff on this album is still a secret!!!

Keep checking the website for updates and tidbits.

thanks and love,

Geoff (and all the Thursday boys)

We were safe

Now we're paralyzed

Suspended in flight

At this speed it makes no difference

Where I start and where you end

Or if you sit in an emergency aisle.

We could be dead

Complete the equation:

Our names are X and N

We have no value

In these calculations:

We're placed on a plane,

Pointed straight down,

Traveling at five hundred feet per second,

Five thousand feet from the ground -- how long will it take us to hit?

How fast will we start the disintegration?

No time left - just keep moving

How fast will it take us to hit?

How long till we start the disintegration?

2 - Telegraph Avenue Kiss - Lyrics

We could be safe here, forever,

Floating in the clean blue air.

Somewhere between the sun that gives us light and the ground that puts it out.

And we'll kneel in the aisles

Press our hands together, close our eyes, speak these words so softly into the black box

And it goes:

"Mother, father, can you hear this?

I want to thank you for all the sweetness.

I'm not coming home, we're never coming home."

She's the song that you tried to sing

And the note that you couldn't hit

So you locked her up in a music box

Turned the key on all of us

She spins silver strings in the dark

With metal teeth that ring in her heart

When the cover drops

The world just fades away, away, away

From her, waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

A book of matches and a cigarette

A love note that you never sent

You can fold it up but you won't forget

You can strike a match but it still might not light

Now I'm the one that's stuck inside the silver cage,

The bird that can't fly away, clip its wings if it sings

Of the way, the way, the way that it hurt

Waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

Doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

The music box is open

It's spinning with the room

If you're the record playing, I'm the needle in the groove.

Listen to our song:

You're in my heart,

In my hands

In my lungs.

3 - The Other Side of the Crash / Over and Out (Of Control) - Lyrics

We move like a carousel

Streak lights and mirrors in our eyes

It's time to let this go

Can't stop spinning

Around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around

You know our love's not unconditional

Unconditional

You know our love's not unconditional.

Note: This contains a section from Panic On The Streets Of Health Care City, the "reincarnated out-take" mentioned in the blog post. Panic later appeared on Kill The House Lights.

The lights go down, outside (before our cars collide)

The city silhouettes itself (in forty shades of fire)

Do you know where these lies are leading? I'll meet you there.

I'm covering up my eyes

Before they cover up your eyes

And wrap your body all in white,

And we awake in the light of all the lies

This can't be happening

These sirens are for me, yeah

We wake up

Covered in the marks of all these razors

Racing up our veins

We'll live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe again

From the razor's edge.

And the hospital ward sleeps

Through the surgery

Hiding needles in the drawer

(for emergency)

While upstairs they sleep

In maternity

Fever and the pitch.

It's a brand new day,

Just to be awake,

This is how it feels

To live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe away

From the razor's edge.

4 - Autumn Leaves Revisited - Lyrics

The I.V. drips, the days drag on

The anesthetic's not wearing off

Adjust the light switch in the hall

Someone has left it on,

And maybe the x-ray screen keeps it from getting dark

The bulb burns out when it gets too hot

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

I can't keep crashing this car

Still it spins out of control

So hold me close or I might disappear this time

Out of control

We fight currents in the water

When we can't let go of the shore.

We've lost control.

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all go home

It won't be long

I live with a girl who’s been waiting

Seven months left till they bring home the baby

He swore he was paying for school

They shipped him over. Now he scatters on the front lines

He swore he would follow his conscience

But done the wrong way follows his orders instead.

When he shoots, he sings this song

But he doesn’t know that she’s been singing it, too.

It won't be long

Until they find a way home

We walk along the wire tied between horizons

You close your eyes like it's nothing at all

Throughout the rise and fall, everything, everything

Changes, I will be here when you die

Did you hear the trumpets play the day your father died?

Did the violins swell those circles under your eyes?

Did you play the part straight like a march?

Or get lost in the beat, thinking and feeling…

Did the drums in the streets make the people dance?

Or fall to their knees from the sound?

Knock the leaves from the trees,

and they fell from the branch?

They looked beautiful

As they hung in the air

Spinning around

Did you float in the air?

Spinning around?

There must be somewhere that cigarettes burn through the night

And the leaves don't abandon their trees to the light

Where the sky's always clear and the summer never ends…

Won't you take me there?

5 - Untitled - Lyrics

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all are going home

Note - this didn't end up on ACBTLD, but did make it onto Common Existence as Last Call.

The center cannot hold, the side collapses

Full of broken words, sing the song inside the dark arcade

Color me in city greens

The streets unwinding, spitting flames

Cars around the arteries

We scream and swerve and fall apart.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

I'll save us from the sky until a feeling burns, you try

It plants a seed of fire that flowers in the corner of your eye

Circular breathing

We'll keep them always moving

Heart attack efficiency,

Erase the figure as it falls.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

Everything is falling apart.

The wedding starts

The guests appear

The church bells ringing endlessly

The bride and groom are hand in hand

And everything goes as it's planned:

The parents smile,

The priest chokes up,

The organ plays "Amazing Grace"

And underneath the thin white veil

And the people sing:

La la la la, da da da…

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

#thursday band #a city by the light divided #oh god i hope i didnt fuck anything up ive read this over like 6 times now

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pandoa · 1 year

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it's the little things: II

the little things they do for you

~feat. octavinelle~ ~twisted wonderland characters x gender neutral reader~

~headcanons~ part 1│part 2│part 3

first part came out in september and i'm happy to come back to this lil collection~ enjoy!

floyd leech carries you like a potato sack everywhere you go. princess carrying? cute little piggy back rides? never heard of it! floyd only knows the potato sack carry, and the potato sack carry you will get. you could be taller or smaller than the mischievous eel, but he won’t care. he’ll lift you up with ease and a grimacing smile on his face as he giggles at the surprised look on your own. he’ll even run up to you at the most random of times where you’d least expect it, scoop you up into his shoulders, and run off to seven’s know where as your friends stare and deadpan at the way floyd seemed to carelessly glide through the halls with you objecting in the distance.

"SHRIMMMMMMMPYYYYYYYYYYY~!!"

"Hang on tight, hehe, I'm taking you with me~!"

"Where? Oh, I don't know. I was just in the mood for running somewhere not here."

"And you're coming along!"

"Well, not like you had any choice, anyway. The way you're just dangling over my shoulder is making me kinda ticklish, haha~"

"Say... Even if I didn't scoop you up just now, you'd still come with me right?"

jade leech purposefully places things you commonly use on higher shelves just to make you call out to him for help. it’s not that he enjoys seeing you helplessly struggle. he just simply likes assisting you out of the graciousness of his own heart~

actually, who is he kidding, that notion was completely false. jade finds it quite endearing whenever he sees you, at first, unsuccessfully attempting to reach for a stray book or can of tuna that was placed a little too high for your taste. seeing your face twist in frustration as you rose up onto your toes and called his name made him chuckle at the strange adorableness of it all, so he began to put things around both your dorm and his a few shelves higher than usual just so that you’d give him that same pout of yours and ask for help. you haven’t caught on to him yet, so what was the harm? just don’t be too mad at him once you find out~

"Hm? What is it, Prefect?"

"You need... help reaching for that alchemy book on the highest shelf? Now, how did it get there, I wonder...?"

"Oh, don't give me that face... I am quite innocent here."

"Just stand back, (Y/n)."

"It will always be a joy for me to assist you."

azul ashengrotto adds your favorite foods to mostro lounge’s menu without you noticing. it could be the most robust food twisted wonderland has seen—or even the most simple one—yet azul will be caught shamelessly editing mostro lounge’s menu just to accommodate your taste buds. he says it’s to “add variety” to benefit business, but in reality he hopes that you’d pay the bustling restaurant of his a visit or two if he added a few pastries you’d like to eat. it’s not bribery if you don’t notice, yes?

"Oh! Prefect! Lovely to see you here today."

"Would you like to order something from our menu? Perhaps there'll be something you like."

"There are many drinks, some small pastries, a few appetizers... Hm? What is it?"

"Oh, that? My, that dish has always been here, (Y/n). Maybe your eyes haven't caught them yet, is all."

"I think I'd know my own menu, dear Prefect. Now..."

"Is that all you would like to order?"

a/n: imagining mostro lounge as a host club iM SORRY-

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst imagines #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech #jade leech #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #♢the scribe♢

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starsandhughes · 10 months

Text

Penalty Box— Cruel Weather (End)

story/original request based off this ask: Reactions to Sissy Getting Hurt

warnings: swearing, accident, mentions of injuries, surgery, mentions of pain medications, crying, anxiety, overall angst

word count: ~7.9k

General Series Masterlist

part one — part two — part three — part four

a/n i did not edit this much at all so excuse all typos!

THERE WILL NOT BE AN EPILOGUE! THIS IS THE HAPPY ENDING! IT’S STILL SAD BUT THIS IS WHAT WE GET!!

————————

You started to hear quiet voices, and then a really pissed off Quinn. You drowned it out, but you couldn’t drown out the pain that shot through you when Trevor was shaken awake. Everybody was suddenly on guard when you cried out in pain. Trevor slowly sat up and smacked Quinn on the arm, “Look what you did!”

“Sissy, I’m–”

“Not your fault,” you grunted out through twinges of pain. You gripped Trevor’s hand with all your might, trying to breathe through it. Your body felt heavy against the pillows when the pain finally dulled. You took deep breaths to relax as Trevor rubbed circles on your hand with his thumb and ran his fingers through your hair in a calming motion. You nodded at him with your eyes closed when you felt better.

“Go back to sleep if you need, sweet girl,” Trevor whispered. “We’ll still be here when you wake up.”

You opened your eyes to look at Quinn, who looked scared out of his mind.

“Come here,” you told him. Quinn carefully stepped towards you, and once he got close, you could see the tears forming in his eyes. “You didn’t know. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Trevor relinquished your hand so Quinn could hold it, “You’re awake.”

“Something like that,” you said drowsily. You turned your head to look at everyone else that was in the room, and you were surprised at how many people were actually here. Your mom, dad, Jack, Luke, Cole, Alex, Jamie, and Matty. “Hi.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. No one could believe it. Luke shoved his way through the small crowd to the side where Quinn and Trevor were and sat down on the edge of your bed. You looked at Quinn, and with that one look he knew that your big sister mode was kicking in. He let go of your hand and you reached out to Luke, who gripped on with both of his hands.

“I’m here,” you said softly. “I’m okay. Okay? I’m not leaving you.”

“You–” Luke got too choked up.

“I know, come here,” you said. “Lay your head down on my chest. Trevor did it last night, it doesn’t hurt.”

Luke was taller and lankier than Trevor, but with Trevor and you guiding him, he got settled. You took some deep breaths and told him to feel your heartbeat, just as you did for Trevor.

“See? My heart’s beating now. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered as you ran your fingers through his curls.

“Promise?” Luke squeaked. He was crying and it broke your heart.

“I promise.”

You couldn’t fight being asleep anymore, and everyone could tell.

“Luke, let’s get off of Sissy so that she can sleep,” Jim said.

You shook your head, “He’s fine. Trevor did it last night. I’m okay.”

And with that, the drugs pulled you under.

– – –

Luke was letting silent tears fall, “Trevor?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You sure she’s okay?”

“She’s okay,” he assured him.

“Then why do you have an IV again?” Jamie asked him.

Of course Jamie would be the first one to notice. Or the first one to call him out at the very least.

“I uh… they made me step out of the room while they were doing tests and the thing attached to her finger that reads her heartbeat got knocked off. I lost it when I heard the flatline again and couldn’t see her, so I got sedated again,” Trevor explained. “It wasn’t real, it was just…”

“You’re going to be going through this a lot, aren’t you?” Jamie asked him. Trevor sighed and nodded, “Probably.”

Jamie walked over and put his arm around his friend, a simple motion that let Trevor know that that was okay. That they’d get through this together. Not just between everyone, but them specifically. They live together. They’ll be the ones majorly helping Y/N when she’s released from the hospital. Jamie will be the one with him when they have to go on their first away game. Jamie and Trevor will be each other’s rocks.

“You doing alright, Lukey?” Jack asked his brother.

“She’s here,” was all he said.

Quinn patted his back in an attempt to comfort him, “She sure is, Lukey.”

“Mom? Can you go talk to a nurse to get some updates?” Jack asked. She smiled and told the pack of boys that she’d be right back.

The weight of the world fell off everybody’s shoulders. Seeing her awake and hearing her speak was a marvel of a sight. Not a soul in the room could believe it. Not a soul in the room didn’t feel relief.

Ellen came back with a nurse who could update the room on Sissy.

“Everything is looking good for her. Her vitals are great, and we’re keeping her on high, but safe, levels of pain medication. That’s why she’s in and out of consciousness. And all of the medication that affected her from waking up from the anesthesia is out of her system, so she’ll be just fine when it’s time for her shoulder surgery,” she said.

“Woah, woah, woah– next surgery?!” Trevor shouted. “She almost died after your last one and you want to put her under again?!”

Trevor felt like he couldn’t breathe again. He almost lost you to a surgery that was supposed to be no big deal, and they wanted to do it to you again?

“Z, breathe,” Jamie said to him, but Trevor yanked his arm away from his touch.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Trevor repeated. He was slowly backing up against the wall.

“Trevor,” Quinn tried. He wanted to calm him down, but him freaking out was freaking him out, too. Everyone almost lost you. Not just him. “I don’t like the idea either, but she needs this surgery. You don’t want her to be in pain, do you?”

Quin was treating him like a child, but Trevor was looking like he was close to another freak out.

“Z, we can’t sedate you every time you’re feeling like this. You need to learn how to get through this so that you can do it at home. Now, look at me, and breathe with me, okay?”

It took a few tries for Trevor to actually get it together, but he was still crying.

“I don’t want her to be in pain. I love her, but I can’t lose her,” Trevor said.

Quinn nodded and brought him into a hug, “I know. Us, too.”

Since Quinn was able to calm Trevor down, he asked for the IV to be removed since it had drained out anyway. Trevor was exhausted and Ellen told him to go lay down again in the recliner. Luke remained attached to Sissy and was slowly drifting off, too.

“Is anyone not scared about Sissy going in for another surgery?” Jack asked, keeping his voice down for Luke and Trevor.

“I’m trying to focus on the fact that she needs it,” Jamie answered.

The consensus was clear, everyone had at least a sliver of concern for the possibility for things to go wrong. Jim and Ellen remained strong and comforted the boys with the fact that the doctors now know what to use for her so that she wakes up safely and in a reasonable amount of time this round. But even they were worried for the girl that has become their only daughter.

“Remember when we first all played against each other when I was in college?” Quinn piped up, looking for any means to distract himself.

“She wore a shirt that said ‘I just hope both teams have fun!’ How could I forget?” Cole laughed.

“I’m just glad she doesn’t do that now,” Jack said. “Although, for once I’d like her to wear my jersey when we play against the Canucks or Ducks!”

“That’s not going to happen and you know it,” Alex teased him.

“She wears your jersey when we play against you,” Cole offered.

“Yeah, but she wears mine whenever we play against any of you,” Matthew smirked. “Except against Quinn or Trevor. Then it’s theirs.”

“What does she wear when we play against the Canucks?” Jamie asked.

“Z and I have to play air hockey to decide it,” Quinn told them, sending everyone into a fit of laughter. “But she might add you into the mix.”

“She’s something else,” Jamie said.

“You have no idea, Jamie. She’ll get worse,” Jack told him. “But it’ll only make you love her more.”

“Now that, I believe.”

– – –

You woke up to the muffled sounds of your friends talking and laughing. It brought a smile to your face that now that you were awake, your friends could relax a bit. You just hope it sticks.

What is sticking, however, is the dull pain. A dull pain that’s growing. You never tell Luke to let go or to go away if he needs you, but it was too much right now. You felt extra guilty because you were pretty sure that he was still asleep.

“Quintin,” you said. Your voice was strained and so quiet that you weren’t sure that he heard you. You tried again, but when you did the dryness of your throat made you cough, which just added to the pain and you cried out. That got everyone’s attention. “Quintin, I need you to get Luke off me, it’s starting to hurt.”

You were visibly in discomfort, and trying to move was not your friend. Ellen stepped in and eased you while Quinn carefully woke up Luke.

“It really hurts, mom,” you whimpered. She gave you a sad smile and brushed back your hair, “I know, Sissy. It’ll pass. Quinn’s waking him up.”

Luke felt tremendously guilty, and it took you multiple times to assure him that he was completely fine before the pain medications slowly started to wear off. And because you were on such high doses, it wasn’t time for you to safely have another round. So you had to wait.

“Can I get you anything, little mouse?”

You looked over and smiled at Matthew over the nickname, “Water?”

Matthew got up to find you some water, and you looked around the room to try and get a gauge of everyone’s emotions. You were pretty good at reading your friends and family, but the one who stuck out the most to you was Alex.

“Turc? Do you need a moment alone?”

“What?” he asked, caught off guard. “No, I’m fine…I’m–”

“Hey, can I get a second with Alex?” you asked the room. You could tell Alex was embarrassed, but no one else said anything as they left. “Come here.”

Alex got up and moved to the chair that was right next to you. You grabbed his hand and smiled at him in an effort to let him know that it was okay.

“You need another surgery,” he blurted out.

“That’s not all of it and you know it,” you said. You knew him too well.

Alex sighed and bounced his leg, trying to calm down enough to actually tell you what was on his mind.

“Yesterday when you were still in the coma, I couldn’t come talk to you alone. Everyone else did it days before. Yesterday Cole and Matthew did, but I couldn’t. It felt like I would be saying goodbye to you, and I didn’t want to face that,” he admitted.

“So tell me what you would’ve said.”

Alex took a deep breath, “I would’ve told you how much I miss you. And that you mean the world to me and have ever since high school. I would’ve told you that the first time I met you, and I saw how you and Trevor were acting, I knew you were going to be in my life forever because you two are perfect for each other and I knew it before he admitted his feelings to us. I would’ve told you how much I love you. How much I was trying to keep it together but was slowly failing to. And I think I would’ve told you goodbye just in case you flatlined again in the middle of the night and I wouldn’t get a chance to.”

You squeezed his hand when you noticed his tears, “Good thing you get to say hello then.”

“Hello,” he breathed out a small, forced laugh.

“Hi,” you said right back. “You’ll be okay. I’m okay. We’ll all get through this together, alright? And I love you, too.”

– – –

It wasn’t fun hearing what everyone else told you while you were in a coma, but you felt like it needed to be done. Maybe it shouldn’t be your job to help everyone, but you would get the help you’ll need in return. It broke your heart hearing that Luke couldn’t figure out how to be the strong one like everyone was telling him to. It broke your heart hearing that Jack was trying to hold it together for everyone and that he was terrified of having to go back to Jersey before you woke up. How Jamie felt guilty for being one of the reasons you were in the car in the first place. How Quinn was losing his mind and felt so defeated when you squeezed his hand and he learned it was nothing. How Matty was sent here by his coach because he wasn’t playing well. How Cole told you that his life changed forever when you came into it and that his break was hard because he held it in.

Trevor broke your heart the most. It broke you that he was plagued by nightmares when he was only sleeping because he knew you’d want him to. It broke your heart that he went catatonic for a few hours. It broke your heart that he watched your heart flat line. It broke your heart how guilty he felt. You couldn’t bear the thought of your forever getting cut short with him. Trevor almost had to experience that.

You didn’t get much time to be with everyone as a group before a nurse and a doctor came in and asked for everyone but “your emergency contacts” to leave. That meant that only Trevor and your parents could stay in the room.

The doctor began to go over your next surgery with you for your shoulder. It was a shoulder replacement surgery, and you didn’t really pay attention to any of the details. All you knew was that the fractures were bad enough to need it, and that it was scheduled for tomorrow at 1pm.

You just woke up from a roughly two day coma post a surgery and now they wanted to put you under again? And they were just going to hope that if they used different sedatives and started the treatment they used to wake you up immediately it would be okay?

You felt terrified. But you knew everyone else did, too. Probably more than you were, since they were the ones that had to sit idly by while you were unconscious.

You held all your fears in.

For Ellen.

For Jim.

For Jack.

For Cole.

For Alex.

For Matty.

For Jamie.

For Luke.

For Quinn.

For Trevor.

For Trevor. For Trevor. For Trevor.

You could do anything for Trevor, and this will just have to be one of those things.

“Are you okay?” he asked you. He sat on the edge of your bed and held your hand, rubbing circles with his thumb on it. “Do you need a minute before we let everyone else back in?”

You shook your head, “No, I’m alright.”

Trevor eyed you suspiciously, “Don’t lie to me, sweet girl.”

“I’ll be okay, and having everyone in here will help,” you told him. It wasn’t a lie. You will be okay, eventually. And everyone in this small little room will be a lovely distraction. Your surgery isn’t until tomorrow, so all you had to do was make it through the day.

“Sissy, I got someone who wants to talk to you,” Luke said smiling as he came back in.

“Who?” you asked, smiling back. Luke said nothing and just handed you his phone. “Duker!”

“Hey, Sissy, how are you? I’ve been worried sick,” Dylan said.

“I can definitely say I physically haven’t been worse,” you told him.

“That’s the most Y/N answer I’ve ever heard,” he laughed. “Glad the coma didn’t change you!”

“It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than that to change me,” you assured him. And the rest of the room. And yourself.

Mainly yourself. Lord knows you needed it.

“I’m coming tomorrow, okay? I know you miss me!”

“I really do,” you laughed. “Be good, Duker.”

“I think I can make that promise for once,” he joked.

You were getting tired again after finally being given more pain medication. You made grabby hands towards Quinn and motioned for him to lay next to you like Trevor did before visiting hours started.

“Are you sure this doesn’t hurt?” Quinn asked as he cautiously laid down next to you.

“You’re just next to me, Quintin. I promise you, it’s okay,” you told him.

You kept motioning for him to come closer to you until you could comfortably lay your head against his shoulder.

“You haven’t called me Quintin in a while,” he said low. “Not much since you left middle school.”

“Middle school was hard,” you mumbled sleepily. “This is hard.”

Quinn turned his head and kissed your temple, “Quintin it is.”

– – –

Jamie cautiously stepped towards the bed when he knew that Y/N was asleep. He slowly sat down in the chair closest to the head of her bed, right next to Quinn.

“Can I?” Jamie asked him. He took her hand in his when he nodded yes. “I know I haven’t known her as long–”

“That doesn’t matter to her,” Quinn cut him off. “The day she met you, she called me and said I should be worried about you taking my place as her best friend. Sissy loves you, and she knows that you love her. She doesn’t care that you met what, three months ago? She loves everyone fiercely, and you’ve been deemed lucky enough to make that list.”

Trevor got up and placed his hands on Jamie’s shoulders, squeezing them supportively, “It was her idea to move you in.”

“Really?”

“She probably would’ve moved your stuff out from Lindholm’s with or without your permission,” he laughed.

“I’ve even heard about you from her,” Matthew told Jamie. “You’re here for her. You’re going to be one half of the two people taking care of her most of the time. And trust me, she cares about you. As long as you never wrong her, she’s going to be there for you for life.”

Jamie looked down and tried to hide a smile as he played with her fingers. He didn’t know what it was about her, but the second she met somebody, they loved her. Her charm, her humor, her boldness. Sissy is something special. And when she lets you in, truly lets you in, she makes sure you know you’re loved and that she would drop everything for you if you need her.

She loves being needed.

She loves being wanted.

Not everyone knew that this was killing her. Not everyone knew that her needing help and barely being able to do a thing for anyone else was going to be detrimental for her. But Jamie does. He hasn’t known her long, but he knows her. He knows that he might need to act like he needs her for something, even if he doesn’t, just to make her happy.

Jamie would do it for her. He will do it for her. Because everyone was right, once you know her, she’d drop anything for you, and he intends to do the same thing for her.

“Is she scared, Z?” Cole asked. Trevor pursed his lips. He didn’t want to expose her, but he was a terrible liar.

“She won’t tell me, but I saw the look in her eyes. I could feel her fear. I asked if she needed a moment and she told me that she’s fine and everyone back in the room would be a good distraction, but I know she’s petrified.”

“That’s a big word, Mr. Boston,” Quinn teased him. Trevor rolled his eyes and flicked him, not being able to do anything else since Y/N was laying against his shoulder. “She has you, Z. You’ll get her through it.”

“She has you, too. She has all of us,” Trevor added.

“And we have her,” Luke said. He still looked scared.

Jack threw his arm around his little brother, “And we have her.”

— — —

Today’s the day.

Today’s the day you have to go under for another surgery.

And everyone had the same fear. For some, it was slight. For others it was more than slight, but they know she needs the surgery. But the rest? The fear had taken over their entire being. And who are they? Trevor, Quinn, Jack, Luke, and you. They were internally losing their minds. They felt sick. And every tick of the clock made their chests feel tighter and tighter.

Trevor hasn’t done well with you out of his sight and he knows it’s going to be worse this time. He’s determined to not have to be sedated. He’s going to have away games. He’s going to have roadies. He’s going to have to learn how to cope. He can’t be eased into it. You’re going to be gone for hours, and he’ll have to sit by your bedside and wait for you to wake up again. He knows you’ll wake up, but that quiet voice deep inside his head telling him that you won’t is eating him alive.

Quinn had taken over the “Sissy” role. Jack had practically snapped, Luke was a mess and was dead silent when he wasn’t, Trevor couldn’t breathe half the time, and you need him, too. He’s the oldest. He feels like it’s his job. He’s always stepped up. He’s always been the big brother. He’s always done whatever he can and more for you. There’s just no one helping him.

Jack feels like he’s useless. He can’t do anything for you, and he’s going to have to go back to Jersey eventually. Scratch that— he’s going to have to go back soon and he won’t get to help you. He feels like you don’t need him when you have Quinn. You always need him. He’s your best friend, your better half, you’re everything to each other. You won’t need him when you have Trevor. Your boyfriend, your entire world. The person you live with. The person who needs you just as bad as you need him. The person you’ll get through this with. The person who’ll be there for you the entire time. Hell, you won’t need him when you have Jamie. You love him, and you barely know him. And he’s going to be with you the whole time. He doesn’t have to leave.

Luke could barely wrap his head around it. Everything was going too fast and he could barely keep up. He just got you, his sister, back and in a few hours he was going to have to go back to wondering when you’re going to wake up. He couldn’t hold on to your hand. He couldn’t fall asleep on you. He felt like he couldn’t be vulnerable. Not when everyone else is screaming, too. He just told his best friend that you’re going to be okay. He just told his best friend that he’s okay. One of those is a lie. The other one could be, too, only he doesn’t know that answer, yet.

And you? You don’t know that’s how everyone is feeling, because you can’t think of anything else other than your intense fear of not waking up. You couldn’t escape the cage the thought of dying was putting you in. You need this surgery. You need to get better. You know the doctors are prepared this time. You know that your medication has more or less left your system and that everything should be okay. But you don’t want to see everyone’s faces when you wake up again. Full of shock, almost as if they were seeing a ghost. And you know that a couple days after this surgery, you’ll be released. Which means everyone will have to leave you again. You’ve never had to experience anything this traumatic without your brothers. Never. You didn’t want them to go most of all. You’re beyond grateful that you’ll have Trevor, and Jamie told you he won’t be leaving you, but you need your brothers. Facetimes won’t be enough this time.

You were pulled out from your thought prison by a nurse informing you it was almost time for surgery and that everyone will need to clear out so that they can prep you. Everyone said their goodbyes, some longer than others, and Jack was the last one walking out the door. The heart monitor signaled that panic was taking over you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Jack!” you screamed. Tears were streaming down your face and your free hand was shaking. “Jack don’t–”

Jack pushed aside the nurse in the room and sat on the edge of your bed and gripped onto your hand.

“Sir–”

“She just needs a minute! Please,” Jack begged her. The nurse saw how close you were to a major freakout before Jack got to your side and left to stand outside the door. Jack took your hand in both of his and squeezed it tight, “It’ll be okay, Sissy. It will be. We all asked the surgeon every question possible. He’s done this surgery countless times.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” you asked shakily. “Right here. Holding my hand. Not Trevor or Quinn. You.”

Jack smiled and leaned over to kiss your forehead, “In the chair, or on the bed?”

“On the bed,” you answered.

“Then on the bed holding your hand is where I’ll be the second you open your eyes, Sissy,” Jack assured you. “I promise. Now you gotta be strong for us. Don’t fight the lovely nurses and doctors and surgeons that are here to help you. Just breathe, and now I’ll be sitting right here when it’s over.”

The nurses that came to wheel you off to the surgery unit told Jack he could walk with you until you reached the double doors, so he did. He held onto your hand and called out once again that he’ll be right next to you when you wake up when the doors came. You held back your tears. You wanted to be able to tell Jack that you were strong.

– – –

“Where did you go?” Luke asked Jack when he finally joined them in the waiting room.

“Sissy called out for me, so I calmed her down and walked with her to the surgical unit,” he explained. “I don’t know why–”

“She loves and needs you, too, Jack,” Ellen interrupted her son. “Just like everyone else.”

Jack smiled slightly, semi hating the fact that his mom knew exactly how he was feeling.

“She asked me to be sitting on her bed holding her hand when she wakes up,” he said softly, still happy that she wanted him. That she needed him.

“I’m only allowing that because she asked,” Trevor teased him.

“Of course you are, bud,” Jack laughed.

Jack sat down between his brothers and leaned back in his chair. All that there was to do now was wait. Something that was way too familiar to everyone here.

– – –

It was a long surgery, over four hours. But Jack was true to his word and parked himself on the edge of your bed and held your hand as he waited for you to come to. Every minute passed was agonizing. The doctors told everyone that you’d be waking up within an hour but that you’ll be very out of it and might not be awake for long. At the forty-six minute mark, everyone let out a breath.

Your groans caused all ten heads to snap towards you. Jack inched closer to you and used his free hand to pet your hair in the same way he used to do when he had to wake you up for school when you were sleeping through your endless alarms.

“Sissy?” he whispered. “Are you with us? Can you open your eyes for me?”

You tried to pull away from him but felt a surge of pain when you did. Jack worked to settle you back down and looked to Trevor for help.

“I normally kiss her to wake her up,” Trevor told him. “She calls it ‘waking up Disney princess style.’”

“Be my guest,” Jack laughed.

Trevor softly placed his hand to cup your face and bent down to softly kiss you, “Good morning, sweet girl. Can you open those pretty little eyes for me?”

You clenched your eyes once more before opening them up.

“Are you a Prince?” you asked dreamily. Luke had to hide into his mom’s shoulder to keep from laughing out loud.

“Sorry, sweet girl. I’m just your boyfriend,” Trevor replied.

You looked down when you noticed a hand was holding your hand. You followed the hand to the owner, and it was not the man who just told you he’s your boyfriend.

“Then who are you?” you asked the hand holder.

“I’m Jack, your brother. You asked me to sit on your bed and hold your hand for when you woke up,” the hand holder told you.

“I don’t have a brother,” you said, shaking your head.

Jack’s grip on your hand tightened and you could feel his fear.

“You– you don’t?” he asked tentatively. He was worried that the drugs had temporarily taken your mind back to before you moved in. Before you were old enough to know that family doesn’t have to be blood.

“No. I’m a cloud, I can’t have any brothers,” you said seriously.

“But you can have a boyfriend?” your boyfriend asked.

“You’re a cloud, too,” you told him. “You have fluffy cloud hair, Prince.”

“Trevor,” he told you with a soft laugh.

“No,” you shook your head. “I’m pretty sure your name is Prince. Prince of the clouds. And I’m Princess of the clouds.”

“Clouds can have brothers,” Jack insisted. “You have three.”

Jack was starting to make sense. As you looked around the room at everyone else in the room, you saw two familiar faces that matched Jack’s story.

“I do have three!” you gasped. “Quintin, Jacky Boy, and Lukey Moosey!”

Jack lifted your hand and leaned his head against it, shaking his head and laughing, “I’m Jacky Boy, Sissy. Look at me.”

You looked at him again and really focused this time, “Jacky Boy! I missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” he laughed.

You looked around the room and your smile grew exponentially at every person you saw. You couldn’t believe your whole world was here.

“Hi Mom, and Dad, and Coley, and Turcs, and Quintin, and Lukey Moosey, and Jamie Baby, and my rat! Matty! You’re here! You’re never here!”

Matthew moved over to the end of your bed and placed both hands on the edge of it, “I was worried about you, Little Mouse. That’s why we’re all here.”

Quinn came over next to Jack and Trevor, “You got hurt, remember? You just had another surgery.”

“No, Quintin,” you argued. “I’m a cloud. I can’t get hurt.”

“Well then you’re a medical marvel,” he said. “Because you got super hurt. Are you in pain?”

“Quintin, listen! I just told you, I’m a cloud. And Prince is a cloud. And Coley. I don’t know what the rest of you are, but we’re clouds.”

“What type of clouds are we?” Cole asked you.

“You and Prince look sad, so you’re nimbostratus clouds. But me? I’m a cumulus,” you told them, full of confidence.

“Did she just… use scientific cloud names?” Alex asked, laughing in disbelief.

“I think she did,” Luke said.

“We look sad because you’re hurt, Ms. Cumulus Cloud,” Trevor said. “But I’m really glad you don’t feel it.”

“I’m just doing my cloud thing,” you said as you yawned.

“Sleepy?” Ellen asked.

“Yeah, I’m a sleepy cloud,” you nodded. “But Jacky Boy needs to lay next to me so I can nap.”

“And why’s that?” Jack asked.

“You’re holding my hand. You need me. So you need to sleep next to me to fix that,” you said matter-of-factly.

Trevor and Quinn stepped out of the way so that Jack could carefully lay beside you.

“I’ll protect you,” you told him. “I need everyone to give me a kiss goodnight! Do you need any, Jacky?”

“I think I’m alright,” he smiled.

Jack leaned over and kissed your cheek. You smiled and nodded your head side to side in a dance-like motion as you made everyone else kiss your cheeks and forehead goodnight.

“And you, my Prince, need to kiss me on the lips four times,” you told him. “Because we say something to each other with four words. I don’t know what, but I know there’s four words.”

“I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever.” kiss.

“What do I say?”

“You say ‘I love you, always,’” he smiled at you.

“I love you, always, Prince!”

“I love you, forever, Princess.”

– – –

The second time you woke up, you were much more lucid and aware of the situation. You weren’t in agony, but you weren’t exactly having fun. You lifted your head off of whoever’s shoulder you were laying on and groaned at the brightness of the room.

“Somebody needs to turn off the sun or I’m going to shoot it down myself,” you grunted with your eyes squeezed shut.

You didn’t know who, but someone fixed your problem, and you were able to slowly open your eyes. You looked out to see the window’s curtains were open and that it was actually dark outside.

One new face was in the room, Dylan.

You smiled at him, “Hi, baby boy.”

“I was kind of hoping I could see you shoot down the sun, but seeing you awake works, too, Sissy,” Dylan joked.

“Are you still a cloud, Princess?” Trevor asked you.

You turned your head to look at him, also acknowledging the fact that it was Jack next to you by a simple squeeze of his hand, confused.

“Cloud?”

“You were still out of it when you first woke up,” Trevor laughed. “You called me Prince, and you were hellbent on the fact that you were a cloud and that you couldn’t possibly be injured because of it.”

“Were we… all clouds?”

“I wish,” Quinn joked. “Only Z and Cole were clouds. Nimbostratus, to be exact. Not sure why you remembered the types of clouds.”

“Clouds are fucking cool, that’s why,” you sassed him.

“You’re lucky you’re hurt,” Quinn said in a jokingly warning tone.

“Or what? You’d lightly shove me? I’m so scared,” you teased him back. “You’re just jealous because I didn’t deem you a cloud. Suck it.”

It was nice finally feeling calm for the first time since you woke up. No one was terrified about the upcoming surgery now that it’s happened. No one was worried that you wouldn’t wake up again now that you have. It was almost fun being with everyone, it was just calmer than it normally is when you’re all together.

You shoved Jack aside so that Dylan could lay next to you because “you’ve missed your baby boy.”

“I’m your twin!” Jack protested.

“You’ve been laying with me,” you told him. “I’ve gone without seeing Duker longer and he’s my baby boy bestie brother!”

“I’m her alliteration,” Dylan said, smiling cheekily.

“Yeah, he’s my alliteration,” you copied his grin.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Jack countered.

“You’re just jealous,” Dylan stuck his tongue out at him.

“Alright, alright,” you cut them off. “You’re both my boys, so calm down. You’ve had your turn.”

“Do we all get a turn?” Luke asked jokingly.

“Do we have to reserve times?” Jamie asked, laughing.

“You and Z will get me all season, but the rest of them? Yes. Someone make a list and play rock paper scissors for the order.”

“You’re a mess,” Trevor laughed. “My beautiful mess.”

“Damn right,” you jokingly smirked.

– – –

It wasn’t too long before visiting hours ended and you had to tell everyone goodbye. Trevor now had a bigger blanket for you two in the bed since you’d been cold and he wasted no time crawling in next to you when Quinn (the last one on the list to be next to you) got off the bed.

“Be good!” Quinn called out.

“We physically have to! Otherwise we would not!” you shouted back.

“I didn’t want to know that!”

“You’re welcome! I love you, bubs!”

“I love you, too, Sissy!”

“I’ll never understand you two,” Trevor laughed.

“Quinn and I are something I’ve never seen before. Not even in movies,” you said fondly. “I’m gonna keep it that way.”

“Are we?”

“My love, we’re everything.”

Trevor took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to it. When he dropped it, you tapped four times on your lips. Trevor smiled and repeated what he did when you first woke up.

“I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever–” kiss.

“I love you, always,” you whispered to him. “How did you do while I was under?”

“Jamie helped a lot. I don’t know why watching The Hunger Games helps, but it does,” Trevor admitted.

“Because it’s my favorite series, obviously,” you smiled.

“No, I think it’s because there’s a lot of Katniss in you,” he told you. “You’d do anything for those you love, especially your brothers. You stick up for what’s right. You’ve been through hell and you’re still surviving. You’re Katniss.”

You blushed and played with his fingers, unsure of what to say to that.

“Does that make you Peeta?”

“I was thinking I’m more like Finnick,” Trevor laughed.

“Well, he was my first love. So, I guess that’s fitting.”

“Your first love?” Trevor teased you. “Am I nothing to you?”

“Hey! Quinn officiated a wedding for me and Finnick!”

“Then I guess he’ll have to officiate ours,” Trevor smiled.

“Trevor Zegras, are you talking about marriage in a hospital?”

“Not right now, but if this experience has taught me anything, it’s that you’re the one.”

“Sap,” you smiled.

You were beat, and surprised that you’d stayed awake for so long with all the pain medication in you. But now that it was only Trevor with you, you felt safe. You felt at peace. You felt at home. You laid your head on his shoulder and let yourself drift off to the sounds of Catching Fire in the background. You weren’t scared to fall asleep tonight. You weren’t scared that something was going to happen to Trevor. For the first time in three days, you felt good.

– – –

At 9:34am, all of your paperwork was finished and you were free to go home. You, Jamie, Trevor, Ellen, and Jim were all given a breakdown of how to take care of you, pain medication times, and other stuff like that. Jim and Ellen would be staying a little longer with you in the beginning before they’ll have to go back home. Trevor and Jamie would be the ones doing it the most after your parents left, and they needed to be fully prepared to teach Dani when she’d come to help you on roadies. Ellen volunteered, but Dani was quite persistent.

You were sent off with some strong sedatives to help with the car ride home. You were glad, too, because even with them you were still in some major discomfort. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like without them.

Everyone was staying one more night before they had to go back to their own teams. You really didn’t want to have to be moved much, so Trevor and Quinn got you situated in yours and Trevor’s room and everyone would be in there until you decided it was time for bed.

First thing first, however, was a nap. The medication had made you so tired and you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. You had to lay pillows in between you and Trevor, which was terrible, but you could lay directly next to him while you napped since he would be staying awake. Everyone else went to the living room while Trevor gently held your hand and kissed your forehead to send you off to sleep.

– – –

Quinn didn’t wait too long before slipping back into the bedroom, “How’s she doing?”

“She hasn’t had to have the lower pain medications yet, so she's okay,” Trevor told him. “I’m not excited about that.”

“I’m not excited about leaving her,” Quinn said softly.

“Trust me, she isn’t either.”

The two boys talked quietly for a while to distract themselves from the predicament. Trevor couldn’t imagine what Quinn must be feeling. Trevor gets to stay with you; Quinn doesn’t. That’s been a common feeling throughout all of this.

“You’ll take care of her, right?” Quinn asked Trevor with tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.

“I’ll do everything I can and more for her. Always,” Trevor assured him.

“You better,” Quinn said softly.

All Quinn could do was look at you. Your bruised face looked better, but you still looked so frail and small that it hurt him. He had to make tonight and tomorrow count, but he knew that you’d be sleeping through a lot of it.

“Um… listen, if Luke needs her, she will kick you out of this bed. Same if she needs me or Jack or Luke or–”

“You can sleep next to her until you have to leave,” Trevor cut him off. “I know that’s what you really want. I’ll take the floor.”

You roughly heard the last of their conversation as you were slowly waking up, “Did you say Lukey needs me? Trevor, move your ass for him.”

“See?” Quinn laughed. “He doesn’t need you, but I’m sure he’d love to lay with you. Do you want everyone back in here?”

You sleepily nodded and continuously held your arm out until Luke came in.

“Lukey!” you cheered when he entered the room at the end of the herd of your loved ones. Luke laughed as he crawled into the bed and snuggled up close to you, “Good nap, Sissy?”

“Very,” you said.

“Oh! I want in on cuddles!” Dylan shouted. You laughed even more as he settled next to Luke and laid his head on his shoulder.

“You two are a mess,” you shook your head. “I love it.”

“This gonna be us when everyone leaves, Z?” Jamie joked.

“It better be!” you exclaimed.

Because you’d been in a coma for your weekly movie night with Cole and Alex, you decided that you’d watch the movie with everyone in your room. Blankets and pillows were handed out and people were all around the room. Jack and Jamie brought in the two arm chairs from the living room for Jim and Ellen to sit in, and everyone else was roughing it on the floor.

You sent Matty, Quinn, and Cole to get snacks and drinks for everyone, and Alex set the movie up.

“What movie have you deemed worthy enough to watch that’s not The Hunger Games, girly?”

“Top Gun,” you said with a grin.

“Yes! Finally!” Trevor cheered.

You barely watched the movie. You watched your friends and family instead. This experience is just as hard on them as for you, if not more. They deserve peace. They deserve a moment of calm, a moment of happiness. Before they all had to leave and, undoubtedly, worry.

“You okay?” Luke whispered to you.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you whispered back.

And for once, you were.

– – –

The goodbyes were hard, because they lasted all day. First Matty left, then Cole, then Dylan and Luke, then Jack, then Alex. Alex could’ve stayed, and he’ll be back frequently, but Quinn leaving last meant a lot to you. It was needed.

“You’ll call every day, right?” you asked him. Your lip was wobbling and you couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“Every minute that I can. I promise,” Quinn answered. “Be good to Trevor and Jamie.”

“Now that, I can’t promise,” you tried to joke.

Quinn kissed your forehead and squeezed your hand one last time before he left with your parents to go to the airport. You immediately started to sob when the door closed. You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You’d been crying all day as people left, but Quinn made you lose it. Trevor hated it because he couldn’t pull you into his arms and hold you to comfort you. You hated it for the same reason. You had to settle for leaning against his chest with his hand holding your right, and his other petting your hair.

“It’s alright, sweet girl,” Trevor cooed. “He’ll be back soon. We play against the Canucks the first week of November. I know his coach will let him stay here instead of at the hotel. It’s gonna be alright.”

“Say it,” you cried.

“Say what?” he asked, confused. “I love you?”

“No, my name. Say it,” you choked out.

Trevor felt a pang in his heart. This has never happened. You never needed Quinn so much that you wanted Trevor to call you by your nickname.

“It’s gonna be alright, Sissy. I’ll make sure of it,” Trevor said low. “I promise.”

“Do you need anything?” Jamie asked you warily. He’d never seen you cry this hard.

You rapidly shook your head no as you clung to Trevor as much as you could.

“Some ice water,” Trevor said. “With a straw, please.”

Jamie got up and went to the kitchen while Trevor continued to try and sooth you. Jamie was back quick and Trevor gently guided the straw to your mouth.

“Drink for me, sweet girl. That’s all you gotta do.”

The ice always helps. The sudden coldness triggers some slight pain receptors to pull you out of a panicked state, so it was a quick fix when you weren’t too far gone.

“There’s my girl,” Trevor cooed. “It’s okay.”

You calmed down, but some tears were still falling.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled.

“What for?”

“I need you, too. Not just Quinn. I really need you and I don’t want you to think that I–”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Trevor interrupted. “I know you do. Quinn’s been with you for the hardest parts of your life. You always cry when he leaves. This isn’t any different. I love you, okay? Forever. You needing Quinn isn’t going to change that.”

“I love you, always,” you whispered.

You were worn out and were falling asleep against Trevor’s chest.

“Jamie Baby,” you weakly called out. “Come to bed. It’s nap time.”

Jamie smiled and slowly got into the bed next to Trevor. He leaned over and kissed your forehead, something you once again demanded, before laying against the pillows.

“I love you, Jamie Baby,” you said. “So, so much.”

“I love you, too, Y/N/N,” Jamie said back.

“And I love you, too, Trevy. Always.”

Trevor tilted your head towards him, “I–” kiss. “Love–” kiss. “You–” kiss. “Forever–” kiss.

———

reblogs appreciated! it helps spread the fic <3

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inkyvendingmachine · 5 months

Text

T'was The Night Before Crisis... Season 4, Episode 1

💀 Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx Masterpost 💀 Call of Cthulhu Season Four Masterpost (Coming Soon)

Warning: This campaign is an edited version of a Call of Cthulhu scenario from the Tales of the Crescent City book. While a lot has been changed, there IS spoilers for it throughout these posts.

WE'RE BACK. After over a whole heckin year of 10000 RP logs, we have returned with our final season of Cthulhu! It's been not just a year out of game, but a little over a year worth of in game time has passed too, and they boys are indulging in a chill, at home seasonal celebration... for now! Surely nothing weird will happen, nothing ever does around holidays for these boys obviously.

Happy Holidays!

Art Credit: @inkdemonapologist : sketching + inking @inkyvendingmachine : concept + colouring

A week. Two weeks. A month. A season. A year.

A whole year and a couple of months go by without any crazy outside force trying to rid the boys of… anything really. The time isn't exactly calm or empty… but compared to recent events, for a while, things were… kinda normal?

Well, except for when Joey got Peter to help him meet with Y secretly to prevent the gang from continuing to mess with JDS, or when Sammy and Henry realized mid tennis match that a version of Henry had slashed him right through the center. Or how the Prophet can just pop out now without ink. And how Susie has been brought in on all this, and perhaps brought in on even more than just the supernatural content as her bonds with Sammy and Joey grow tighter. And how Peter is actually moving to New York City now and ends up visiting Jack just as Beans goes missing and now there’s many little Beans kittens. And the summoning spell to ask the spirit that helped them in Haiti what will become of Sammy and Prophet. And the other summoning spell for Prophet to get his instructions from the Masked Messenger. And Sammy still can't tell where he's going half the time after uncovering some of Prophet’s memories. And Joey is still a bit hesitant to leave the studio if not being actively distracted. But other than that! It's been normal!!

And the boys have made it all the way to Christmas. Joey's received some parcels in the mail, from the Fowlers and Nicole. The Fowlers actually sent each of the helpful boys uh… 1000$?? That's a thousand. EACH. IN THE 1930s. For helping out… which I guess if stuck eternally in soul lake hell, wouldn't have that money anyways. But still, that's quite a lot for the time.

Meanwhile, Nicole has had time to move on from her heartbreak, and is ready to start a new chapter in her life, and as thanks, leaves Joey both the keys to her old apartment (the lease being paid up for a few years already) and to her previous car, with a guarantee she's giving these things up for better, not to worry about her. And totally not because maybe all the occult scratches and bullet marks in the wall makes the apartment hard to rent, or the fact that her car is an extremely recognized Mercedes, or that both of these assets were hounded by gangs for a bit after her magical mistakes…

It probably is actually all out of good will and appreciation, and these things will come in useful, especially if they do need to deal with more mafia or what have you. Joey doesn't need them tracking Henry's car home to his family or back to Jack's house.

With those gifts out of the way, the actual holiday is spent in Jack's house, with a big potluck meal. This holiday celebration includes a small group of friends and their families, namely, all the people Jack has befriended and also would be okay with the Lurker partying with em. The event goes well, Sammy gets to play through the night, Henry’s children get to hang out with a real Bendy and also a buncha newly grown-up cats, Henry gets to eat as many cookies as he wants…

That… slows down when Henry sees a yellow sign in a ribbon. But as soon as he tries to not lose his entire cool and freak out, it disappears… the ribbon was just a ribbon the entire time. Perhaps golden ribbons shouldn't be their normal holiday decor…

Meanwhile, Peter feels eyes on him and decides to move away from the window maybe, especially because it feels like he suddenly knew exactly which star in the sky holds Carcosa at the same time… surely a fine coincidence to have happened at almost the same time. But nobody else is acting weirdly, sooooo.

The night wraps up, with Susie and Norman heading out first, followed by Henry and his family. Sammy also heads home after being socially exhausted and desperately needing his alone time, and Peter helps Jack clean up some before heading out too. Jack heads to bed, only to find an already asleep Joey with a Spark sprawled on top of him, probably after he “closed his eyes for a moment” a little earlier.

The next day, there's technically work, but it's a short day because what's actually happening is a charity auction and party. A collection of “originals, signed by the creators” has been donated to help raise money for relief efforts in a few warring European countries, as well as the “entertainment” for the evening (Bendy cartoons, of course), courtesy of JDS, which means of course all the stars who signed the auctioned items were invited to the party as well.

Yes, even Sammy.

(And also Jack, Henry, Susie, and Joey of course.)

The event is being held at a yacht club, advertised to the wealthies of the city midst the great depression, with live music playing and glittering evening wear, and uh. Denis.

Y'know, Denis?? That rich guy from NOLA who invited us to the masquerade?? That Joey casually name dropped his legal name to in order to keep him from tracing himself and Sammy back to JDS, when they didn't know who or how dangerous their initial information gathering was.

Anyways, a quick little talking him in circles by Joey corrects that past mistake, as well as gets him the information that Denis is actually related to one of the people who put the entire event together. Ha. Good to know.

Of course it's difficult to shake him afterwards, since Joey is one of the few people Denis knows all the way up in New York. At least Joey actually has a fancy car to talk about now.

Meanwhile, in the quietest, emptiest corner he could find, Sammy notices something odd about the song that's currently being played live. It sounds familiar, and while surely there's been some Bendy music played this evening…. This particular song is not that. But it WAS composed by Sammy.

In NOLA.

When he was improvising with some random music on the street while hanging out on the balcony of his and Joey's hotel room. Properly freaked out by having a song from a very scary time literally come back to haunt him, Sammy runs to find someone, (Joey is still busy with Denis), and comes across Jack first. But before he can fully explain, the entire party is interrupted.

Chatter turns into hushed confusion as some pale man up near the front starts speaking in tongues. It's hard to tell if he's trying to perform some ritual or just incoherently rambling, but it doesn't matter! Because very quickly there’s a gunshot!!

And the Prophet? He's awake. He knows what that gunshot was. He's been waiting for this.

It has begun.

Of course the entire party breaks out in panic once the gun goes off. Joey doesn't know what sort of Eldritch nonsense was happening up front, but upon scanning the crowd and noticing Jack and Sammy together, beelines for the snack table to grab Henry and search for Susie.

As everyone is being rushed out, some of the boys manage to notice that not all of the panic is simply from the mad ramblings and sudden bullet, but also we've got some people in the crowd bleeding from their eyes. How festive!

Upon getting outside, the Yacht club is of course already being surrounded by security and the police, as the sudden gun shots quickly alerted locals to the nonsense going on. Nobody is allowed to bolt until an investigation is conducted and people are questioned, but of course Joey managed to sweet talk his way over to a telephone to make a very important quick phone call.

To one Peter Sunstram!

Turns out, between all their arguments, there are a few things they can agree on, which includes quietly spying on suspicious parties even though they should probably not be doing that if they actually wanna be safe but surely everyone will understand when they find out IT'S FINE.

Anyways Peter’s been keeping an eye on Y, and earlier in the day Y seemed to be performing some ritual before having some kind of … breakthrough? Revelation? Peter had told Joey of it, and in good faith Joey agreed to keep an eye out for WEIRDNESS, hoping that Y was upholding his promise to not be interfering with JDS anymore. But now this episode seems to have specifically happened, right at their exact event for the evening, so Joey does his best to pass along as much info as he can in that moment to Peter. As well as set up a backup plan in case anything else happens to them before they can escape the Yacht Club.

After some interviews with the police though, they’re allowed to go free. Listening to other partygoers' recollections they’re able to pick up a few more names here and there – the one who fired the gun up front by the bandstand is said to be another local gangster by the name of Johnny Nero, and the band playing on that bandstand one Red Leverett and the Jumps – but no evidence that really points the crew in any sort of serious lead. (including more commentary by Denis wHY ARE YOU STILL HERE UR NOT PART OF THE GROUP)

So having managed to collect everyone together, including Prophet returning Sammy to the front for the interview thank the lord (not that one)(not that one either)(maybe that one) the JDS crew head over to their very safe and secure hide away to talk about what just happened: that’s right, they’re going to Peter’s apartment.

And staying there through midnight! Listen, the last time weird shit started happening like this, everything popped off at midnight and there were panics all around. It’d be nice to know where people were this evening. And while they’re all sitting around waiting for that to pass, Henry and Peter can even talk about the really weird things that happened last night! Yknow, where Henry saw the yellow sign for a moment and Peter felt something watching him from space? Those very normal Christmas activities?

The group also gets informed about how Peter maybe has been keeping an eye on the Y that still hangs out in the city, and how Y was excited over some weird ritual. While he goes over that and also Joey and Peter guiltily kinda admit to their secret spying tendencies, Henry gets info from Linda when he calls to explain why he’s not home yet and how he won’t be home for a little while still. She’s remembered some research that crosses over with the prophecies they had gotten a month or so after the last big event like this. And Jack and Sammy bring up how they had been theorizing over who’s and what’s in the prophecies… for instance, that which the Phantom seeks, who bears already the scars of following the Mender’s lead….

Is it Peter? He followed Jack into the weird ghosty world. Is it Joey? He’s followed the Mender in other ways, and also literally bears scars caused from Jack’s healing. Or is it somehow Y?? Who seems… involved in this somehow, despite promising he wouldn’t be fucking around with stuff that might step on JDS’s toes again.

With no real conclusions, but midnight having come and past, people start to head home. Joey has someone drop him off at the studio, as after weirdness happened with any sort of occult stuff he’s interested in checking in on Bendy and the Stone. Since, those tend to be targets for this kinda creepy thing. Bendy is perfectly fine though, and hardly even noticed anything going on… So Joey picks up some of his notes and… finds himself unable to leave the studio. For some reason it just seems like the wrong idea… so he spends all night up researching, unsettled by how many non-leads he has into what will possibly happen next. It’s starting to feel like Haiti again, knowing that something bad is coming but really having no idea where to fortify with this information.

But he does have something new…

He has plenty of things new now, including his dream spell.

Peter’s not the only one who can spy, and while Joey is sure he’d hit some kind of barrier trying to peek in on Y’s dreams… just knowing whether the man was still alive, or possessed by some eldritch nonsense seemed like a good place to start. Maybe his excitement at the ritual earlier was coincidental…

The thing is, defying all reason, Joey’s able to step into Y’s dream just fine somehow.

This is probably not something he’ll regret doing later, surely.

[Next Episode] (not yet released)

#call of cthulhu: haunted hijinx #joey drew #henry stein #sammy lawrence #jack fain #peter sunstram #bendy the lurker #beans the cat

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