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#I need to accept I cannot watch some media without it hurting me and I need to let them go.
foxgirlmoth · 2 years
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The urge to put all my thoughts on Tumblr about my mental health heightens.
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I know personally as someone who was in my mid-late teens when I watched su, it really mattered to me to get to see a show that said parent figures aren't just right because they said so, and you DO deserve an apology when they hurt you, but one that also had the nuance to show that while you deserve reconciliation and apologies for being hurt by them, they also act with their own reasons and not usually out of a callous disregard for you. Like yes it obviously doesn't flat apply to full on abusive parents, but to parents who were neglectful without really meaning to be or being unable to do anything about it (like, parents who needed to always be at work or who couldn't be there for you) it's actually very relatable and well calculated. Ngl I think some people just dont know what to do with media they don't directly relate to or immediately understand. I did also see a lot of su criticals who tried to claim the show was about forgiving abusers for this exact reason, but I think you only really get that interpretation out of it if you think all media should be about you specifically
In all honesty, the diamonds really did show three different types of parents who are incredibly toxic and damaging to their children without meaning to hurt them.
Yellow is a workaholic, and holds a very strict no-nonsense attitude. She didn’t make time for Pink or treat her problems as legitimate until it was too late, but she did still very clearly care about her. She didn’t let her emotions show to anyone, least of all to herself because she saw them as an obstacle to what needed to be done.
Blue is her polar opposite, she suffered greatly from a loss and (in this case, correctly) blamed herself for every part of it while never actually processing or overcoming her grief. By not taking care of herself, she lashes out at others and cannot move forward. Before Pink was shattered, Blue was indignant, disdainful, and quick to take out frustrations on Pink when she felt “embarrassed” by her not conforming to their expectations.
White was condescending and more dismissive than the other two. Quick to belittle and intimidate to get her way. She loved Pink, yes, but more in the way one might love a nice coat. She was a perfectionist and projected that need to be right and perfect (literally) on every other gem, the other diamonds most of all as they are implied to be of her own creation. Her ego and inability to accept being wrong (or by extension, those she created doing what she decides is wrong) cause her to force Pink to fall into a role that she was never really suited to. She saw Pink as one of her greatest failures and something she needed to either fix or hide away.
All three of them together formed a very deeply toxic and emotionally abusive relationship towards each other and to Pink most of all. A few people take issue with Steven “forgiving” them as they misconstrue it as a victim forgiving abusers, but at the end of the day Steven is not nor was he ever Pink Diamond. He was mistaken for her and felt some of what she experienced because of that, but he was not a long-term victim the way Pink was, in a lot of ways he was an outsider who had context of the situation and wanted to step in to keep them from hurting anyone else.
More to the point, he doesn’t forgive any of them. He calls them out on their toxic behavior and tries to get the point across to each of them that the way they’ve been living isn’t healthy for anyone, and is actively traumatic not only to them but for everyone they hold power over. The end of the series sees him teaching them how to atone for some of what they’ve done and to help others heal, but he doesn’t stay with them, nor does he invite them to stay on earth despite extending that offer to just about every other gem he encountered. It’s established in the movie that he almost never visits any of them outside of his activism and subtly making sure they aren’t regressing into dangerous people again. In the epilogue series he is shown to be (rightfully) distrustful of Blue and Yellow as well as being openly afraid of White. He helped them feel closure for Pink and repaired the relationship the three of them had, and that was it. Even if he had been in that abusive environment for as long as Pink was, that isn’t an unreasonable response. Some victims of (unintentional!) emotional abuse do find catharsis in confronting their abuser once safely out of that situation and expressing the way that behavior harmed them. Some victims genuinely do want their abusers to become better and healthier people when the abusive traits stem from their own trauma or lack of emotional intelligence. There are other victims in the show who completely sever ties with their abusers and never interact with them again, so this wasn’t trying to push a narrative that victims MUST do that, it was giving people language and strategies to approach these conversations if that is something they want to attempt.
This was another of my famous rambles, but I suppose in conclusion I would say: whether SU crits liked it or not, the final arc of Steven Universe was absolutely helpful to people in toxic home environments. It also served as an allegory for queer children not being accepted by their parents for who they are, and how changing your perspective as a parent and accepting your child is legitimately a healthier option for everyone because to do otherwise just ensures you will lose them in every way that matters.
There’s just a lot of important takeaways from that arc, especially for children. I’m incredibly tired of seeing grown adults whining about it because they chose to take it literally. Well done on missing the point of a show for middle schoolers I suppose, but idk if you really just want to see all villains get killed for their villainy just go watch Breaking Bad or the lion king or something. There are plenty of shows where violence is the answer, there’s not any real point getting furious over one of the few that don’t use that as the ultimate conclusion.
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squishytheboi2 · 1 year
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People need to let people enjoy things
I see so many people on social media (eg twitter,tumblr etc) who are so obsessed with what media people can and cannot like and its honestly gotten to the point where im scared to talk about anything in fear that what i like is problematic or whatever
Look im fine with people being critical of the media they consume i do it all the time even regarding shows i love like south park,danganronpa etc but its gotten to the point were saying anything positive about media that has problematic elements or continuing to watch said shows gets u accused of all the nasty names under the son and i just don’t think that’s fair honestly  it comes off like people are dictating what media is and isn't acceptable to watch or what media we can and cannot talk about and its just making it harder and harder to talk about things i love in fear ill be called a pedophile or a racist just for liking it
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Like whatever happened to “u can enjoy something and be critical of it” or “u can still enjoy something while not directly supporting the creator” its like those concepts have been forgotten about and now people are like “if you like this piece of media in anyway shape or form your a bad person period” i just dont find that very fair personally like why should i have to stop enjoying something i like just because aspects of it are problematic? by that logic we cant enjoy anything because most media has atleast a few things that are problematic or could be interperated as such  Like i love the anime made in abyss its one of my favorite pieces of animation of all time for its stunning world,atmosphere and amazing soundtrack but because it has some problematic shit in it and tackles darker subject matter i get labeled as a bad person just for daring to say anything good about it  like im just not allowed to talk about what the series does right and only focus on the negative stuff  like again being critical of media is fine infact i encourage it as i think it helps start a dialogue where we can discuss this stuff but to act like we have to ignore everything a series does well and stop enjoying that piece of media full stop is dumb imo
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At the end of the day let people enjoy things aslong as there not hurting anyone in anyway shape or form why do you care about what media people enjoy? people are allowed to enjoy things that make them happy and discuss things that make them happy and liking that piece of media does not mean they like every single thing about that piece of media and if the issue is about supporting a bad creator then there are still ways to enjoy that media without directly giving them money like piracy,second hand markets etc etc  this post isnt about ignoring problematic elements in fiction but more that acting like we have to ignore anything good about that fiction because of that stuff or to stop watching or talking about it all together is unfair and people shouldn't have to stop enjoying things that make them happy 
what are your thoughts on this? do you agree with me or not please feel free to give your own thoughts on this subject in the comments also sorry if this feels messily written this is my first time making a tumblr post like this so im very rusty lmao 
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tau1tvec · 1 year
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I hope it's okay to talk to you here. I feel that so many people compare themselves to others and feel bad because of that, that's so awful. I have also this feeling like, I do something, it's so nice, but I feel so bad after I see other people did such a great stuff. It's sad because I even wanted to leave simblr for good. I don't even know how to fight this feeling. I'm sorry and I hope you have a nice day and feel much better than me rn. <3
I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, anon, it's tough being a dark place like this and not knowing how to get out, and tbh I don't think there's any one successful, let alone easy way of doing so.
One thing I will say for sure however, is that this is a completely regular human feeling a lot of people experience, all the time. How you're going to recognize it, and work through it is what you should be focusing on. We certainly do not want to let negative thoughts mess with how we feel when we're in a situation like this, bc it can cause us to make rash, and unproductive decisions, but sometimes the best thing we can do is accept that a lot of the negativity around the issue is probably related to something bigger we're dealing with, but also the act itself.
Removing yourself from the situation all together for a time, if it's making you that upset, is never a terrible idea. Taking some time away from online spaces, and finding something else to focus on for a time, be it catching up on your watch list, or spending time outdoors can offer you the clarity you need to find out what it is exactly that's upsetting you, and what needs to be done to help you through it in the future.
The one thing ppl tend to forget about social media is that in the end all be all, it's a communal space, whose sole purpose is prioritize clicks, and ads. You're going to have to share this space with other ppl, your content is going to have to share this space with other content, even content that might make you feel bad, you have to be willing to use the tools this site and third party tools give you to make this place safer for you, and for others, bc as much as it hurts to tell you this, the majority of ppl on here, aren’t going to know how or when they need to accommodate for you, and you'd be swimming against the current trying to get them to, and although I, and many others do our best to do what we can, ppl cannot, and should not be expected to stop posting their content, just bc it makes yours feel like it pales in comparison, especially since that's just what you see, not what others see when they consume and appreciate your content regardless of how you feel about it.
Lemme reiterate, I've been there, I still go there, but I've accepted that it's tied to my mental health, and my imposter syndrome, and my past trauma, and those are all my responsibility to contend with, and I'd be a hell of a hypocrite to say that bc myself or my content feels inferior to me or compared to someone else, that it's suddenly somehow their problem too?
It's not, bc I know without a doubt someone has felt this about me and/or my content at some point in my life too, bc this is a regular human feeling, everyone feels, at some point in their life. The only difference is how we deal with it, and whether we let it define us, and everything we do.
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initiumseries · 1 year
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no no thats not what i meant i think i didnt word my ask properly.. i get that as a whole its racist mistreatment of bonnie and i also get that the reasons behind this particular incident on the writers part was also racist but thats not what i was talking ab which is what i meant by the first few lines lol i was trying to acknowledge it and not dismiss it
i mean like in the show itself, as in from the characters perspectives i guess? why would abby or bonnie be extremely upset about this if abby never really cared ab magic in the first place.
maybe my understanding of media/analysis is kinda rudimentary lol bc like we as viewers can spot the issues with the writing but within the show itself, like if these were real people why would they react the way they did. maybe i shouldnt be separating the two idk.
sorry if this doesn't make sense I'm not very good at articulating things
I think you're right in that last part, you can't really separate the two. I understood what you mean initially, and what I'm saying is that you cannot, in good faith, engage in that kind of discourse, because the issues with Bonnie's character, her racist mistreatment, and the SL with her mother are inextricably linked. I don't know that there's a need to try to "see it from the character's perspective", to still see the problems in a case like this, but for sake of argument, let's do that:
Consider it from Abby's perspective: now my memory around her very brief sl are fuzzy, but she wasn't able to use magic, which is why she didn't go back to Mystic Falls, she sealed Mikael and then lost her access to magic, but being around Bonnie, made her stronger, and able to actually help Bonnie (something something nature punishing her for abandoning her child). Abby abandoned her husband and child to start a new life, then Bonnie brings all this chaos to her doorstep. She tries to help, and then she's forcibly turned into a vampire, and it's clear, she doesn't want to be one, because that's the whole thing with witches right? They see vampires as unnatural, not belonging, and now she's completely cut off from magic and the spirits, which she'd only just reconnected with, along with her daughter.
Now Bonnie's perspective, she's mad her mother started a whole new life without her, and that's completely understandable. It hurts. She's dealt with the passing of her grandmother, and is obviously still grieving that (because you don't ever just stop). So then she finally sort of finds common ground with her mother, and then she betrays her by poisoning her and turning her over to the originals, to save this other guy, who is not her biological child. That's really terrible. Then she has to put that aside to do the spell, come to some sort of acceptance, and then, Damon, a character who has been terrorizing them for 3 seasons now, kills her, after being the reason her gramms is dead, and has tried to kill Bonnie before, forcibly turns her mother. Now, from where I'm sitting, it never made sense Gramms died for those white ass vampires. But it makes even LESS sense, that Bonnie let Damon live long enough to turn around and kill her mother, once again, something destructive he does in Elena's name. If I'm looking at it through Bonnie's perspective, I'd be really fucking sick and tired of being put through this shit, largely by Damon, while everyone stands around wringing their hands and watching.
So that brings me right back around, to our understanding of the show as viewers. The context is exactly that, context. It informs our understandings of scenes we see in the show, and like I said before, you cannot divorce the context from the moment and try to argue it. It's manipulation, intentional or not, and it's nor discussing in good faith. You HAVE to consider the context that Bonnie is deeply mistreated and Abby's character arc is another arm of that mistreatment, and I think the question that must be asked at this point, is why do you need to divorce the context from this moment to understand it or engage with it? Why does it have to live outside of Bonnie's treatment as a character? What is gained by doing that?
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andrews-word-pile · 1 year
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The Existence of Aromanticism
This was a speech I wrote around 2021, where I was, and still am, aromantic-questioning. This is unedited from when I had presented this to my English Class, with the exception of me censoring my birth name with my preferred name. I know it isn’t the best example of my writing but do wait and watch for future posts of essays and speeches I made for presentations ^^
I will start my speech off with a question: Have you ever been in love? Not with a fictional character or a celebrity, rather, with someone you know and like? Well, if you haven’t, then you’re in luck. Today, I will be talking about:
The Existence of Aromanticism
Today is a new era, a more accepting one. Everyone has their own color and sexuality, and some even lack it. In modern media, almost everyone has their own form of representation. 
As I said, almost everyone. We all know about being asexual, or ace for short, from representation from shows like Bojack Horseman, and others. Aside from being asexual, we have aromantic people, or aro people for short. 
Now, what exactly does it mean to be aro and ace?
My name is Andrew P. Weiner, and I am here to represent the aromantic people, as a lithromantic person myself. And for context, lithromantic is somewhere on the aromantic spectrum and being lithromantic means I like people without the desire to be liked back. In other words, attraction fades when reciprocated.
Now, before I begin, not all ace people are aro, and not all aro people are ace. Sexuality, gender and romantic orientation are all a spectrum, and we need to acknowledge that there are people out there who are aro and ace. We should not invalidate others due to our ignorance.
Being asexual means you rather not partake in sexual activities, or dislike it altogether. Aromanticism is similar, but it’s the lack of romantic attraction. 
Being these two doesn’t necessarily mean you cannot feel love, people like us feel love in other forms, such as platonic or filial love. We are definitely not loveless.
When you are somewhere in the aromantic spectrum such as me, there is an abundance of people saying certain things that can come off as annoying. Things such as “maybe you haven’t found the right person yet” or “i’ll fix you” are always being tossed around towards me. If you were in my position, you’d eventually get used to it despite the fact you probably shouldn’t.
I am not “different” nor am I “special” since I myself am just another human being you can interact with. However, most forms of media tend to alienate aromantic people. It isn’t new that the media erases the sexual and romantic orientation of characters who identify as LGBTQIA+, but sometimes this erasure is taken too far.
A good example of this is Jughead from the original Archie Comics, he was originally aro-ace. In the Netflix show Riverdale, they erased not only his aromanticism, but also erased how he was asexual.
Erasures like that make people less aware of aro-ace people. Representation matters, and we need to know that people like us exist. I know for a fact that there are aro-ace people who end up getting into abusive relationships because they want to be considered “normal” in the eyes of other people. That shouldn’t be the case, and we need to be able to take care of ourselves and not get hurt all because we didn’t know that simple words and habits exist.
We should be aware of at least some terminology and we shouldn’t invalidate the experience of others, because we all have our own color and some may lack it, but they are human as well.
There are many forms of aromanticism and being asexual, it’s an umbrella term to describe those who don’t really want relationships in general. People are so much more than what meets the eye, so we should not judge others like us. Just because we cannot experience what you experience doesn’t mean you can leave us out. We were born like this, even if we ourselves do not like it.
And with that, I conclude my speech. I hope that I have blessed you with awareness.
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itsclydebitches · 3 years
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I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin. 
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I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense. 
Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face. 
This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection”  — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times. 
The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away. 
All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on. 
Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is? 
From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant. 
Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really —  it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d  try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do. 
So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️
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2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE! 
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implexedactions · 3 years
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Penance is a virtue
Yandere!Enji Todoroki x Reader
Enji Todoroki is many things; kidnapper, lover, sadist, hero, villain, husband. He is many, many things. But he isn’t delusional.
Beta-Read by best person: @absolute-flaming-trash
Warning: Yandere content and themes, Angst, Heavy emotional themes, Suicide, Stockholm syndrome, Kidnapping.
---
You wake up, eyes dashing to the clock.
5:55 AM - SUNDAY
Okay, good, you hadn’t slept in. Enji always wanted you to wake him up. He got...mad if you didn’t. You turn over to him in bed, expecting to find him still sleeping.
Teal eyes stare back at you instead.
“Ah!”
His face takes on a sorrowful expression.
“Did I frighten you? Sorry. I could not sleep.”
Not leaving you time to respond, he pulls you into his chest, under the covers. He sighs in content, and you press into him, not wanting him to forget your devotion.
After some time, he pulls you up to his face, kissing your forehead gently.
“Thank you. For everything.”
“U-uh, what do you mean? Are you okay?”
Enji sighs, failing to meet your gaze.
“I never do compliment you that often...”
---
He carries you to the breakfast table, adorned with pancakes, your favourite.
“What’s going on Enj- I mean, dear. I’m meant to make you breakfast?”
He fails to answer you, instead sitting down with you on his knee. He takes a fork and puts some pancake on it.
“Eat.”
And so you do.
When you finish, he moves to wash up.
“W-what are you doing? You told me that was my job.”
Your memory wanders back to your first few months here, when you disobeyed his every command...and received due punishment for it.
“Are you going to punish me again?”
It escapes your lips before you can stop it. The thought of being punished again, like before, makes your veins cool with fear.  Your breathing increases and you move down on your knees onto the cold kitchen floor.
“P-please, I swear, I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t-”
“Stop.”
He walks over, his thighs the same height as your head. You move to undo his belt, but a hand puts a stop to that.
“There is no punishment. I am just doing an acceptable act for my spouse.”
The words “but you never do that” get stopped in your throat. You instead swallow and try to weakly smile. Looking up at Enji from your position on the ground, sunlight bathing him in a warm glow, to contrast the unsettled expression on his face.
---
He places you on a stool while he washes up. You fiddle with your hands, nervous. This isn’t how Enji usually acts. He’s so...vulnerable. In all honesty, it’s scary.
“Do you like the sunrise, my sweet?”
You look out to the orange glow emanating from the windows.
“Do you want me to like it, my sweet?”
Enji simply sighs and continues washing up.
“I’m sorry you cannot enjoy it. One should always appreciate what they have...”
---
After breakfast, he walks silently to the study. You follow behind him perfectly, like he trained you to.
He walks into the study, sitting down at his writing desk, and you take your place in his lap. He pulls out pen and paper, and you avert your eyes. 
It isn’t for good spouses like you to read.
He spends the better half of 6 hours writing. You entertain yourself by tracing the pattern of the wallpaper. This evolves into focusing on Enji’s breathing, noticing how he breathes in more, not less when he becomes frustrated with something on the page. You eventually move on to thinking about all the things you miss from the outside world, like ice cream, and human connection. You finish out the last hour by thinking about how angry Enji would be if he knew such a perfect little spouse were thinking such nasty little things. 
Shuffling about, he motions for you to hop off his leg, and then stands and leaves the room without speaking to you. You get the feeling he’s coming back, though; he left the door open.
You’re worried. You’re scared beyond belief. This isn’t like him, this entire day is wrong. You’re hoping he’ll burst in and start yelling, the anticipation feels worse than any potential punishment. You consider that maybe this is the punishment and that you should perhaps just start apologising regardless. He didn’t take well to that before though.
This day has made little sense. Enji is acting so far out of his usual behaviour that it doesn’t just scare you because he might hurt you. It scares you because you don’t know what is even happening. It takes you back to the days you first came here—a blurry, hazy mess. You struggle to even remember it. You remember bits and pieces. Chains, fire, the cold, the scent of sex. Small things like that.
You turn your head to the papers on the desk, intrigued by what took up so much of his time. Before you can look away, you see what they are. Letters, addressed to countless people, your parents, Shoto, Rei, Hawks, various news stations.
You glance towards the open door...surely what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him right?
You pick up the letter to the Hawks. 
 Keigo, I write this letter to you as a mentor, and I presume a father figure. I know that in some capacity, you looked up to me. You were just a scared kid, and I helped. That said, if what I have done becomes public knowledge, do not defend me. I do not know how much you know of my dealings, but for the sake of your future, throw me to the dogs. Do not say that I was perfect, or that I did no wrong. When I turn and look at my darling, I see my mistakes for the damning judgments they are. You will be a fine no.1 hero, just let go of your predecessor. Please.
 That alleviated little concern. Undeterred, you move onto the letter to the media.
 To all the news channels and gossip rags that haunt this city like the festering ghouls you are, I detest you. You created division, turned heroics into a popularity contest, seeded doubt during a time where we needed hope, and fought so hard to bring us all to our knees. I know my story will vilify me, so I accept my place in the burning flames of hell. Just know that when you get down there, I will be waiting to enact justice.
 You are practically hyperventilating now. You grab the letter to your parents. You don’t know what these letters are, but they seem like-
The letter is snatched away from your hands. It appears you forgot to watch the door.
Turning around, tears in your eyes, fear in your veins, half-baked excuses running rampant in your mind. You expect to see vengeful Enji with a glint in his eye, telling you it is time for your punishment. Instead, you find an apathetic Enji, eyes soft and watery, stance broken and exhausted.
“I did not want you to see that. I am sorry that you did.”
Enough is enough, you want answers. Pushing against your instincts, you stammer out a question.
“W-What is going on? Why...why are you like this?”
He seems taken aback, eyes opening wide. This minor act of defiance, of speaking out when not spoken to, is enough to break you. Falling to your knees, you look away from him. Aghast that you even thought of defying his wishes.
“I’m sorry! Please, forgive me! I didn’t mean to question you like that! Or read the letters! Please! I didn’t- I don’t-”
A calloused hand grips your shoulder.
“Please. Stop.”
You look up to see Enji’s eyes, dull and watery again.
“Sorry.”
“Trust me, I am sorry too.”
---
The afternoon is spent on the couch, watching TV in Enji’s lap. He seems to notice your nervous disposition, as he slowly envelopes you in a hug the more the hours go by. Eventually, he gets up to make dinner by himself, much to your unvoiced dismay.
You simply stare as he makes it. Both of you silent. He occasionally looks over to you, as if to make sure you haven’t merely vanished into the ether. You feel like you might vanish into the ether, honestly.
You move to the dining table, and a couple of minutes later, he brings out dinner. Silent, he sits down beside you, but a hand stops you from eating.
“Tell me, do you remember when we first met?” he sounds...hopeful.
“Is...Is this a trap?” you ask cautiously. This entire day has put you on edge.
“No. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“I...I can’t remember it, really. Most of those months are...blank, I remember a few pieces of my first couple of months here. They’re admittedly not pleasant memories.”
“I see.”
“I mean, I appreciate that you did those...things you did to me! If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be any good at my job.”
He turns to you and raises an eyebrow.
“Your job?”
“Yeah, loving you, being your spouse.”
“Ah.”
Both of you go quiet. You wait on the signal to start eating. It doesn’t come.
“It was a gala event. You told me how much you hated them, and I laughed and agreed.”
“Ah. Gala’s sound so wonderful, don’t they though? Being outside, getting to dance, to listen to beautiful music.~”
You sway slightly thinking that you could have once been permitted to be a part of such a magical event.
“You may eat now.”
Enji’s command breaks you out of your daydream. He watches as you take your first bite, and follows in kind.
---
When you finish, he seems restless. He gets the plates and puts them in the sink. He then takes you to the living room. He fiddles with a speaker for a couple of seconds, before classical music emerges.
“You said you cannot remember our first meeting, and by extension our first dance. I was wondering, would you like to dance with me?”
Confused, but delighted, you join Enji in the embrace. Softly dancing around the living room, you try to imagine what it was like meeting Enji for the first time. He must’ve seemed so sweet, right? That’s how Enji would come off to a stranger, right?
You lose yourself in the moment, allowing yourself to imagine a life outside of these walls. You would’ve met Enji at the Gala. He would’ve laughed. He would’ve given you his number, the gentlemen that he was. He would’ve taken you to a fancy restaurant for your 1st date. You could’ve shown up at his agency while he was buried under paperwork once, and it would’ve made his day. You could’ve kissed him under the rain, snickering as you pulled away and saw droplets evaporate on contact with his blushing face. He would’ve proposed in a quiet place, with a brilliant ruby. You would’ve met Shoto, and figured out what his deal was. You would’ve grown old together.
But this life is just as beautiful, right?
Enji leans down during the dance and kisses you. Softly, unlike all those times before. It’s beautiful to you. And based on the silent tears running down his face, it’s beautiful to him too.
He pulls you down onto the couch, staring into your eyes as the soft music plays.
“I’m sorry, my love.”
“What for?”
“For a lot of things. For kidnapping you. For...training you. For punishing you. For breaking you, beyond belief. For so many, many different things. You are not the person I fell in love with, you are hardly a person. I broke you, I gutted your personality until all that was left was a shell, echoing any command I gave it. You do not have a soul anymore.”
He pauses, seemingly debating over this next part, ignoring your shaky and scared reassurances.
“And I am also sorry for the poison in our food tonight.”
Your world shatters at that.
“The fatal effects should kick in soon enough. It will not be a nasty death. Even in death, I intend to remain dignified. Or at least, I wish to preserve your beauty.”
You cannot vocalise anything, your mind is failing you. From either the poison or situation, you are unclear.
“There is an antidote on the kitchen counter. If you can get there and drink it, you will live. And if you are feeling ever so generous, you may even give some to me.”
He turns and looks you in the eyes.
“My only command is that you do not get that antidote.”
“Wh-what?”
“You heard me. Disobey me, and save yourself. Or obey me, and die.”
He shrugs.
“I did say I was sorry.”
“I-I...why?”
“Like I said. You are a shell. If you get the antidote, maybe I have not entirely broken you, maybe you can still be saved from my conditioning. If you do not get the antidote, I get to make Dabi just that little bit happier.”
You try to get up and into the kitchen. You really try. Your arms try to push up. You try to move off the couch. But...that feeling of fire licking at your body...it’s paralysing.
You instead collapse back onto the couch, and Enji sighs.
“Can you hold me?”
“Sure, my sweet.”
His arms pull you into his body. You feel yourself getting more and more tired.
“I’m sorry...I couldn’t be...what you wanted...”
“I am sorry I could not be what you wanted either...”
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simonalkenmayer · 2 years
Text
Bullies choose to be bullies. Everyone deals with difficulty. Some even deal with abuse. Bullies choose to wrap their entire identity in hurting people who could actually be their allies, if they put aside the insecurity that makes them lash out. By bullying, they aren’t helping anyone, least of all themselves. Instead they are building huge architectures to explain why their hypocrisy isn’t. Why it’s alright for them to treat people in a way they’d never let people treat them, to ignore their laws, their faith, their stated purposes.
Is it really that bad, or do you need it to be that bad to justify how you treat people? That’s the question that the victim asks, that the bully cannot answer. To them shame and humility are the same. Humility is to be feared. Everything has to be a battle, especially the battles they can easily win, so that they appear to be bigger and stronger than they really feel. To the point that it becomes painful to watch. I see it again and again and again and again and they never see their own patterns, because they’re too busy being imprisoned by them. You can’t explain the pattern because that’s an attack. So they simply continue to live in it, alienate people, hurt people, break down groups, destroy communities, be either feared or ignored. And the saddest thing is, they almost never actually disagree with the people they target. They’d be on the same side. But everything has to be a battle, and no one can be trusted, and everything is a plot, and all defenses are acceptable.
Bullying is a disease. It destroys people. Like a carcinogenic chemical. Like acid. Even if they always win, they won’t win. Because people just let them win, so that they can walk away. They make themselves irrelevant and hated. They become ignored. And because no one will acknowledge them, they have to continue to burst into spaces they aren’t welcome, and bully.
It’s extremely sad. Just terribly terribly sad.
The internet is a limitless space. People can be who they are, without having to obey the laws of physics. And yet, the insecurity pulls itself out of the mud and rears its ugly head, and the disparities and trivialities of the real world, duplicate and replicate in this sterile space. Only it is much much worse. Trolling becomes a fun game. One person’s narcissistic pleasure becomes the goal of a group. People invert their weak and strong actors and take serious cues from people with only the barest of ideas of a plan built around control and causing suffering. The internet has done good things, but if you want to survive this century, you need to build etiquette online. Trolling, bullying, drama farming, all of that nonsense…it has to stop.
You will tear yourselves apart.
You can’t create spaces where learning is canceled and changing is a gotcha. You cannot create spaces in which bullies become leaders because of how well they tell you who is to blame. What I’m saying to you is, the way online discourse refines and rarifies communication, you construct the exact type of mind most susceptible to misinformation and manipulation.
You cannot let this happen. Right now it is literally at a tipping point to destroying the world, when a president can bully a child, or a senator can get play picking on a puppet and gain platforms.
Back when DNA sciences began to become very easy, I realized something profound. There were no laws forbidding a man from buying a PCR machine. There were no laws regulating what people can do in their garage. A person with enough knowledge can still to this day, but the machines needed to craft a deadly virus and release it into the world, and not one single law exists to stop them. But this is true of social media too. Memes and the way they replicate across minds tells us this quite easily.
I didn’t plan for the pandemic, but it became an organic experiment testing precisely what I have been worrying about. It became a catalyst for the exact kind of online activity that started me on this. The leader of the opposition to fascism posts selfies of his face dyed green by the caustic chemicals thrown in his face and gains marchers. Fascist uprisings and propaganda bred on Facebook by a company so corrupt it removed the failsafes to its algorithm to get engagement. People making social media posts to organize abortions for those who cannot get them because the Supreme Court wants likes from Trump’s Twitter rip-off parlor. We have wars being advertised alongside pharmaceuticals that health insurance won’t pay for. Climate change activists climbing coal cranes and posting videos to TickTok. A video of a man being murdered goes viral and triggers mass protests, and the opposition uses their hashtags to sow discord. People storm the capitol building for the first time in two centuries, and the FBI uses their own facebooks to hunt them down. People literally defy a deadly disease by advertising the ingestion of horse anti parasitic and toxic mud on tiktok. Elections being compromised by misinformation think tanks PAID FOR by revenue-generating farms like Five Minute Crafts. History being rewritten in cute memes and alpha male indoctrination. All online. All in your brains. All the time. In the palm of your hand. And one thing we’ve proven time and again is that the more a person sees or hears something, the truer they think it is, especially if it fits their latent bias.
This is not a joke. This is serious. Deadly serious. The human race ran out of battlegrounds, so it recapitulated them in metaphysical space. You can’t continue to treat it like it doesn’t matter, as if what happens here stays here. The bad guys certainly aren’t.
Online bullying is a gateway to extremism. It’s a precursor for programming the worst kind of people using the tiny computers in their hands.
Ask that question: is it that bad, or do I need it to be so I can justify how I treat them. Be honest. Don’t fight any and every battle, because the space is too large. Find the one you know how to fight and focus in. Understand what manipulation looks like and identify it openly. Identify the behavior. Target that, not the person. Let people change. Give them freedom to. Stop playing discourse.
TL;DR This isn’t a game. The internet is not a playpen anymore.
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captnjacksparrow · 3 years
Text
Why do I ship SNS?
It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 
I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 
Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.
And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.
With all that being said...
My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 
On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 
And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 
The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 
Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....
Nope. 
The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 
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You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 
It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.
In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 
Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 
The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.
This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.
Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.
Not convinced?
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If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 
Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 
Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.
You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 
There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 
Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 
They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.
Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke
I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?
Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 
Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 
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Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.
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That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.
Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.
Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.
The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.
It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.
Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 
So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?
My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 
So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.
In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 
But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 
In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.
With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 
This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 
There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.
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They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.
To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 
If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.
Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.
Reason
To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.
Naruto’s reason is very simple.
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I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.
He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  
Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.
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“Because he felt relief”.
Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 
Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  
Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.
NO HIERARCHY
This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 
We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 
Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 
In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 
The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 
U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.
POSITIVE INFLUENCE
I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 
Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 
In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 
Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.
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LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.
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Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 
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The best one is yet to come
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It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D
Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.
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Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 
Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.
I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!
OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS
This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.
Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).
But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 
The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!
If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.
However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 
( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)
Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.
Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)
However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.
But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 
Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:
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Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?
The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.
And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 
Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 
Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?
Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???
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And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.
This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.
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The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.
Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?
The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.
But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH
In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.
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Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!
PRIVILEGE
Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 
For Naruto, 
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I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 
If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 
It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 
For Sasuke,
The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 
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This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 
BROWNIE POINTS:
Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 
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It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 
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This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 
If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 
Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 
Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????
Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.
So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 
I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 
P.S: I don’t watch Boruto
Final memento:
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No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one. 
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dornish-queen · 3 years
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GQ MEXICO - PEDRO PASCAL 2021
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It seems that Pedro Pascal is in all possible universes. Here and there. In the past, in the present, and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great entertainment reference and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Enough reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he traumatized his father in 30 seconds.
The RAE defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or a group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And also one can put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the path to follow, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. Turning the pages of the script for The Mandalorian , the Disney + series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise , Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection carved his way.
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More than two decades have passed since the Chilean-American, Pedro Pascal, began his acting career and today, named as the great reference of 2020 , he misses the theater and it still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a diet sana while acknowledging the irony of having the best year of her career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried the best-selling Christmas baby rescues many positive things and shares his vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies and how to traumatize your family with a simple scene of TV. In an interview, the Mandalorian of Latinamerica.
IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. How was living your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from it?
The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I do find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during it, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must emphasize that this loneliness is a privilege when many people had to continue working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We only had to be alone, but they more than that and you must value it too.
Among the activities you have missed, how much do you miss the theater?
Much indeed. It's something that I miss the most and being with people without being afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That is what I need most, in addition to my loved ones.
Disney fully entered streaming and its strong letter has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?
There are incredible things in streaming and many people develop great projects that they did not have access to before. The diversity of voices is gaining ground and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and boundaries change. It is incredible the availability that we have to very well made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of watching content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. You have to achieve a mix of opportunities and challenges.
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You jump between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until you reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you summarize the essence of this legendary story?
For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It is one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was less than two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga ; it becomes one of those romantic childhood things that opens your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian perfectly understand this nostalgia and that power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the world of Star Wars and I couldn't be happier to be part of it. (From which we expect the third season The Mandalorian)
The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?
I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theater preparation, which was very physical on all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with and that are essential to create a role, and they teach you that the voice is something primary, something you have to start with and you cannot hide. Now I have learned much more about the importance of that, and how to use it economically. The body also has to do with that, because something very subtle communicates something. In The Mandalorian , I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense at it.
What happens to the ego when someone works under a suit and a mask?
In the conversations about the project, before doing it, we were communicated the idea and the concept of the entire season , so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so there was no point in involving my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character , the piece that it represented for him and the opportunity that it was for me, so I was only focused on executing in a better way the part that touched me in everything this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.
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It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base ...
Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, doing a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate , being part of a whole image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined that it would be something I would have to use on such an important Star Wars project .
On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau should be added to the list?
I think your name is already included. Without a doubt, it is in that category and it is incredible. His vision fascinates me. I remember an episode in the second season , and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, it stuck to them. He figured it out, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're out in the snow. They approached me and gave me new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and it is repeated to scale in every session with him. He thinks of absolutely everything and his vision of the use of technology is admirable. He is someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.
One of the reflections in the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and way of life. What makes you break with your beliefs?
I think that you must follow your heart so as not to regret anything; Although sometimes it brings pain or conflict, deep down when you look back, everything is worth it because it was what you heard in your heart. I am very afraid to deny that feeling or not to attend to it. I am 45 years old now and I cannot believe I have a finer philosophy. Make it more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and it's all I can say, "follow your heart." Although, you know, I'm not on a good diet yet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.
Still good at Chilean empanadas?
Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I do not live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to defe just to eat.
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I want to deviate and ask you, with whom did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what traumas did you cause in your family?
For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters , although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you that it was not. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? Me lying there, with pieces of my meat, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. For them there is nothing funny but traumatic. My dad's voice changed completely when we saw the episode, he turned around and said: “I didn't like it, Pedro . No, Pedro , not this ”.
The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When playing a character with characteristics like this, do you humanize him or do you understand him?
The project had nothing to do with the former president. They always told me that my character in Wonder Woman: 1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took that as far as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more to work with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story that is being told and there is always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "blowing her out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling his story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.
What a way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol ... How do you perceive that moment?
I am not a politician and it is not that I do not have an opinion about this type of event; however, it is not necessary to state the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I believe that I am next to the majority who experienced this, which is the logical result of what we have experienced during these years and we are all horrified . It was distressing to see this violence.
If you had the monolith in your hands, what would your wish be?
My wish would be… it's impossible, really (laughs). I think it is to be together again, with less fear and that people have the opportunity to connect.
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What is your position on the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?
It is something that I am developing and I continue to do in my life, trying to understand that it is my home. To be in Chile is to be at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it is strange, I do not feel with the title of a complete Chilean identity nor with an American one.
Neither here nor there?
In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chilean , my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I came back sometimes because my family is very large; in fact, my parents came back. It has always been there, it continues to develop, and it will be a part of me. I don't know if it answers your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.
What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Are you interested?
Much, it has invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies that I carry in my heart, seeing something like Y tu mama was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile , and the only thing I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.
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Today you have a comedy with Nicolas Cage on the door, can you tell us something?
It's my first shot at comedy , as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences , in the 80s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage appeared , he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.
How is the relationship you have with the comedy genre?
I love it, I have done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television issues , I was always part of drama castings . And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; Although I identify with one or the other, I think that being an actor , one goes and does what one has to do. Comedy is something unique, it is very challenging because it must be very real to be funny, you cannot hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.
Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream about when you sleep?
I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven is on and all that stuff. Sure, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects , although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day that you can imagine.
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Without a doubt, Pedro Pascal is a particular type .
English Tranlation: Google Translate
SOURCE:  GQ MEXICO
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Hermitopia AU Conclusion
The last ask has been answered, the masterposts are complete, and (although art, writing, and Discord discussion are still accepted and encouraged) it is finally time to officially wrap up the Hermitopia AU! Because this was such a massive event - and no small thing to moderate - there will be a pause in blog activity for a day or so before the inbox will open for regular headcanons again. I apologize in advance for the wait!
In the mean time, I would just like to say: I am so, so thankful to everyone who participated in the AU. Your ideas and your creativity have made this blog a better place, whether you sent in one headcanon or dozens, and I am constantly in awe of the energy and enthusiasm of this community. Thank you, all of you, for making this universe we’ve created as vast and as interesting as it turned out to be.
Below are a collection of my own ideas, for those of you who like a satisfying (but still not entirely closed-ended) ending. These events take place as many days, months, or years into the future as you need them to make your own ideas work, and none of them are set in stone. You can take all of them, some of them, or none of them as truth if you want to...but either way, it has been an honour to build on a project like this one alongside you all.
And with that...the Hermitopia AU concludes! Finished, or barely begun, like so many good projects are. Have a great day everyone, and happy headcanoning!
- Mod Shade
"People of Hermitopia."
The man on the screen shifts, running a nervous hand across his bald head and squaring his shoulders. The broadcast quality is unstable, but it's more than enough for every citizen in the city to recognize who's speaking.
"This is your Concorp Branch Director, Cub. As I'm sure you are aware, I am the head of Project VEX in this city. You all know the VEX initiative as groundbreaking, life-saving, a shining success and a step towards a new era for humanity...and some of you may even see me as a hero for creating it.”
He closes his eyes, a brief look of pained remorse crossing his face. For a moment, he looks utterly defeated, almost small in the face of his impromptu audience of thousands...but finally, he fixes the camera with a steady gaze once more and begins the great unravelling.
“Maybe it was all those things, in the beginning. Maybe *I* was, once. But today, after far too long, I have some confessions to make...."
~
- For years, Cub had been desperately scrambling to hold the tatters of his life’s work together. Project VEX had started so well, and he had poured so much of himself into it, that when the failed experiments and rebellions became more and more frequent he was unable to accept a change of course. He covered up the project’s failings to maintain funding and public image, but mostly to maintain his own image to himself - that he was still the hero he’d set out to be and create at the project’s start. However, his denial was wearing on him heavily, and eventually he had a breakdown and decided to go public rather than keep drowning the city in lies.
- This breakdown was prompted by xB, who after his own moral breakthrough, confronted Cub and urged him to stop withholding knowledge and truth. xB also informed Cub of his own unknown truth - that the unintended power of his presence was the thing that was keeping the experiments successful when Cub was around. This was the final straw in breaking through Cub’s denial
- Along with Cub’s broadcasted speech, files were released to the media containing proof against most if not all of Concorp’s falsehoods. Many names were cleared of crimes that had been pinned on them, including Beef, Impulse, Doc, Cleo, and the majority of the other Unrestrained and Unaffiliated former VEX trainees that the company had tried to cast away
- Understandably, it took a very long time for the chaos to die down and all that information to be processed by society and the justice system. It may be years before the community can see some of their heroes in the proper light again, but at least they are now free to begin rebuilding their reputation without being labeled as villains and traitors.
- Those who actually did commit villainous acts are given a fair trial, with consideration for their motives and the new Concorp information as extra evidence
- The VEX program is withdrawn by Cub’s superiors and put under a strict review. It is reborn after a massive restructuring, with a new director, new limitations on what experiments can and cannot be attempted, and a greatly extended screening and training program to reduce the chances of graduates becoming villains. The new project will produce far fewer heroes with much subtler powers at first...but if that is the cost for the safety and stability of the city, then most people would agree that it is a small price to pay.
- Cub is not permitted to work on the new Project VEX in a management role, ever again. It’s a harsh blow for him, to have to watch his dream from the sidelines...but he knows he gave up the right to guide it when he abused the control that it gave him. At least his superiors allowed him something to do while he awaits trial: he is present (although guarded) at every new VEX trainee’s first experiment, lending his power to increase their chances of success.
- Mayor Scar resigned willingly. Nobody had enough evidence to accuse him of anything, and he didn’t plan on giving them a reason to look by trying to stay in office. Instead he chose to make his exit from both Concorp and government matters complete, at last. Or so he thinks. Who knows? Maybe he’ll learn what most of the people he’s helped to manipulate have already found out: that connections and old grudges don’t easily lose their grip.
- Scar is replaced by TFC, voted in by almost unanimous community support and funded by donations from all the people he’s saved over the years
- The greater Convex company offers a choice to the survivors of the old program: Come to work under their new, more honorable system, or take a generously large settlement and be free to build new lives
- Team ZIT declines the job offer, pooling their payment and using it to buy a shiny new base together for their independent hero venture. There are still a handful of real villains to fight, after all, and there are bound to be more once people start successfully copying Concorp technology. Now that Impulse is back at their side, they wouldn’t give up their roles saving the community for anything - but they’re done with being used by some guy behind a desk. From now on, justice and bravery will be their only guides!
- ...justice, bravery, and TFC, that is. He isn’t their boss by any means, but the more experienced hero does drop by often between his mayoral duties to make sure the youngsters stay out of trouble and in one piece.
- The nHo, according to all official records, took their settlements and split up, leaving Hermitopia far behind. However, Team ZIT suspects that the vigilante life hasn’t left them so easily. They’d be the last ones to report the odd sighting of a whipping vine or a distant masked figure, though - unregulated as they are, the nHo’s shady methods for a good cause prove useful from time to time. (And their base has really good tea. Okay, maybe it’s a little bit more than “the occasional sighting”...)
- Ren settles back into his meadow cabin, but after that massive release of info and a long, LONG period of processing, he now has Iskall, Stress, and Cleo as regular visitors. Every morning he wakes up and forgets for a moment that it’s real, that they’re really alive and with him again...but they are, and he is happier than he ever thought he would be again.
- Jevin and Mumbo visit the cabin occasionally. It took a while for Mumbo to get his memory back, but he now remembers all of his friendship with Iskall and Grian, and they come together for fun and shenanigans regularly with the rest of the cabin crew.
- Grian still spends his time looking for his clones, but honestly, he doesn’t mind. The adventure always did hold more meaning than the conclusion for him, and now, he has friends to help out!
- False disappears into thin air to wait out the fallout of Concorp’s information release. She snags herself a quiet job and a small apartment on the outskirts of town, fully intending to return to her mercenary work just as soon as the dust has settled...next week, maybe. Or the week after that. Or maybe, once the garden has been fully planted. She’s really enjoying having time for stuff like that now...but she’ll get back to work, really, she will! Soon.
- Joe and Cleo tearfully reunite through xB, and Joe becomes another frequent visitor to the cabin. Cleo also visits Joe’s base in the time exclusion zone, but she really prefers the cabin. Time skips are disorienting, and they make her want to sneeze.
- Keralis and Void come to an agreement. Xisuma isn’t entirely clear on what that agreement is - something to do with an allowance of cookies from Biffa’s bakery in exchange for not killing anyone - but he’s more than happy to be less sore and tired all the time.
Hermitopia is making progress. Real progress, this time - not just the breaking of humanity’s limitations, but breaking them with true heroic care, with the good of everyone in mind. There are some hurts that will never fully heal, mistakes that can be learned from but not undone, and yet...now there is a path, a way forward. It won’t be easy, but a kind and gentle future waits for them, welcome and well deserved. They will figure it out, together.
And together, they will step forward, into the new world that each of them has helped to create.
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just-antithings · 3 years
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I have a problem where everytime I read something I feel like I have to imagine myself in the shoes of the main character, and if something bad happens to them I have to figure out a way that I would get out of the situation otherwise I feel like it'll happen to me irl. But also if it's a long running series and I figure out a way I would get out of the situation I start to get really frustrated that the characters aren't doing the right thing.
So there are so many shows/movies that I absolutely cannot watch because it'll just make me stressed or upset. A few weeks ago I read a horror comic that ended up scaring me out so much that I still don't feel fully safe in my apartment at night. When Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones were popular I couldn't get past the first 5 episodes of each because it was just upsetting. I still haven't watched Parasite because I know it would just mess up my mental health.
So I've just stopped trying to watch those kinds of things (except when I accidentally come across something like the comic) I just focus on things that I can handle. Even when everyone is talking about a new show or movie, I just stay my fist because that's what I need for my mental health.
I find antis so frustrating because they act like they need to be able to read every piece of fanwork in existence without being upset, meanwhile I've had to accept that I'll always have trouble relating to my peers because I can't consume most adult oriented media. (I pretty much exclusively watch kids shows or light hearted comedy, I can't even watch comedy where a specific character is the butt of the jokes because it's upsetting) I've accepted that my mental health is more important than having an opinion on the latest cool show. I've accepted that writers aren't obligated to make things accessible to me personally. I don't get why antis think that they personally should get to decide what people get to create.
Me saying "Hannibal should be illegal, it gave me a panic attack because I have a horrible fear that I'm going to be the victim of some kind of horrible act of violence" is no more logical than an anti saying "underage fic should be illegal, it was extremely triggering to me personally"
But if I started telling antis that they shouldn't watch Hannibal because watching it hurt me they'd call me an idiot.
(sorry to vent, I'm just tired of all of this)
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enchantedblackrose · 3 years
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Flesh Wounds & Somedays
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Flesh Wounds & Somedays
Jay Halstead/Reader
¡!Warnings: Infant abduction/kidnapping. SIDS. Violence against women. Swearing. Fluffy ending.
Still unedited, hoping to have the nice version up soon. Sorry in advance! Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! Please be safe ❤
Upon exiting the very stereotypical "mom van" you're greeted with harsh Chicago air stinging your face and it instantly makes your eyes water. You hastily blink back the tears though it's fruitless. Instead you pull the knit hat you're wearing further down your head and pull your scarf tighter. You keep the door open, huddling near the inside of the vehicle. Anything to stay warm. You scan the parking lot for any sign of your suspect. Anxiety starts setting in. It doesn't matter how long you've been doing this. The moments leading up to a confrontation always send your stomach plummeting 
"Easy now," Jay, sporting the store employee smock, whispers as he rolls a grocery cart by, indicating to your foot mindlessly tapping against the cement. Immediately you stop. You give him a small smile. He winks in response. You pretend to dig around in your purse, anything to give the impression you're distracted when in reality all your senses are in overdrive. 
Voight's voice barks your last name through your strategically placed com. "Suspect approaching from the east. You know what to do. Everyone else, stand down for now! We don't wanna spook him."
You open the back passenger door before closing the driver's. Your fingers work quickly at unfastening the baby from the seat. You then drape a blanket over the baby for protection against the cruel elements.
It's subtle, but you cannot ignore the feeling you're being watched. The reality is you are. Your whole team is looking out for you. But this is something different entirely, something sinister. You suppress a shudder. Securing the blanket once more, you hoist the baby from the carseat and hold the infant against your chest. With a push of a button, the passenger door slides shut. You fiddle with the keys, making sure the van locks before tossing them in your purse. 
You coo at the little bundle snuggled against your chest. Your steps deliberately appear hurried.
And that's when he emerges from a dark blue conversion van parked one whole row over. You spot him out of the corner of your eye and he is unmistakably walking towards you. But you stick to the plan. Your pace slows just barely, not wanting your target to sense the change. You also don't want to actually reach the store entrance and potentially bring harm to the public even with Al and Ruzek inside.
He suddenly appears in front of you, eyes frantically dart around before resting on you. He's disheveled. clothes are wrinkled and slightly stained. His greasy, unwashed black hair is plastered to his head. He smiles which unnerves you. But you return it anyway. His grin disappears. "Give me that baby. And you won't get hurt...much" He removes his right hand from his coat pocket and you notice the blade he's gripping. That's new, you think to yourself. He's growing desperate. Still, you have to get him to attempt an attack or abduction.
"No!" You pull the baby impossibly closer to you. "Leave or I'm gonna yell for help." The threat is feeble on purpose but still seems to evoke rage inside the man.
He lunges at you. His body weight sends you stumbling but you remain on your feet. He wildly pulls at your arms and at the baby, trying to break your grasp. He swings his left arm and his fist perfectly catches your eye.
"Son of a bitch!" You cry. Your foot slams onto one of his and you use that moment to headbutt him square on his chin. He lets out a primal scream before sticking the blade into your upper thigh and you can't help but yelp in pain. He tugs the baby out of your arms. The blanket drops to the ground.
You watch the changing expressions dance across his ugly face: anger, elation at his success, confusion.
"What the hell?"
It's the opening you need. Your weapon is drawn on him. "That's right, you stupid son of a bitch. The baby's fake. Chicago PD! Get down, face down."
Still in his stupor, he obeys. You kick the blade away just as Antonio and Jay come running from opposite directions. Antonio searches and mirandizes him. You return your gun to its inside waistband holster.
As your adrenaline begins to slow, you feel exactly how much pain you're in. It's evident that your eye has started to swell and there's a throbbing sensation in your thigh. You stagger a bit, but a pair of strong arms steady you. 
He sighs and you look at Jay. "Don't start," you warn. 
"I should have been there. I ended up carrying groceries for this old lady..."  Guilt is written all of his handsome features.
"Did she tip you?" You joke, but he stares at you. "Stop. We knew this might happen. He had to attack me." The rest of the team appears and Jay drops his voice to a whisper.
"Yeah, attack like come at you, not actually harm you." He looks as if he's about to argue more when the sound of tires squealing interrupts.
You flash concern. "He wasn't alone." Your eyes meet those of your colleagues.
Voight breaks the silence. "Antonio, get that piece of garbage out of here.Halstead, get her to Med. The rest of you let's head back." You open your mouth to protest, but Hank won't even let you get a word in. "That leg's gonna need stitches. Now go." He stares at you until you move. Jay lends his support as you gently lean into him. It's not as needed as it is comforting. 
//
You were seen and stitched in no time; the wound to your thigh was mostly superficial. Your swollen eye, which was now bruising, was being iced. You would have left Med sooner if your weirdly overcautious boyfriend hadn't insisted that his own brother see you before checking out. It took Will saying it, but Jay finally seemed to accept you were, in fact, fine.
You want in that interview room more than you've wanted anything in a long time.
"Absolutely not," Voight answers when you ask. "This guy doesn't respect women. I don't need you going in there so he can admire his handiwork." He waves a hand indicating to your black eye you're still icing. Hank returns to the observation window to watch Antonio and Atwater interrogate a very non talkative perp.
You remain in the bullpen with Adam, Jay, Mouse and Alvin to stare at that damn board some more.
Alvin recaps; all of you hoping to discover something, anything at all, that could help solve the case. 
"Here's what we know. 2 or more suspects working to abduct infants. 1 in custody. Greg Jones. Couple of parking tickets, nothing too serious. Attempted three abductions, not including today's, in broad daylight, over the course of two weeks. Only one was he successful, if you call it that, but the infant was later abandoned at Firehouse 51."
You interrupt. "That baby left at 51, was a boy, right?"
Al double checks before answering,  "Yeah."
"The other two attempts were on baby girls," Jay adds, possibly sensing where your mind is going.
You nod. "And today, I had a lavender blanket to cover the doll. One would probably assume it was for a baby girl. Just hold on a sec. Mouse," you holler over to him, knowing he'll pull up what you want faster than anyone. "Check hospital records and obituaries, plesse! Any infant deaths in the last month? Can you look into Jones' social media, too? Girlfriends and such." You've hardly finished the request and Mouse has the information for you. "How many of the babies that died were girls?"
"Two."
"Do you have the mothers' names? Any link to Jones?"
Mouse 's eyes scan the screen in front of him. "Tiffany Young...girlfriend of Jones according to Facebook, lost her baby girl last month."
You nearly hop up from your seat. "Text us her last known." You nod to Jay, asking without words if he's ready. Before you can walk away, Mouse calls your name.
"She was reported missing three days ago." 
The whole team exchanges uneasy glances.
//
In a bizarre turn of events, Tiffany Young had reported herself missing. Jones and Young had been working together to abduct a baby girl with a plan to then flee the state. You and the team discovered that Young was conspiring against Jones going as far as plotting his murder to take place after a successful kidnapping. He would look responsible for her disappearance and his death would appear as a suicide. At least in theory.
It wasn't the best thought out plan, but in these situations they seldom were.
"I still don't understand," said Adam. You were all gathered around a large table at Molly's trying to relax after a long day. Well not all, Antonio made arrangements to see his kids. Al had also rushed off. "Why plan to off Jones?"
"She blames him for their daughter dying." You say taking a sip of your drink. "I read the report, even though it was SIDS, he was the only one there at the time." Everyone is quiet for a moment, presumably lost in their own thoughts.  It takes Herrmann coming around, asking who wants another round for the conversation to resume. 
Thanks to the refills and a few well timed jokes, the mood of the night has drastically shifted to a much happier one. An hour or so goes by when Jay lightly squeezes your knee under the table. You understand the gesture, surprised that he's waited this long to signal his want to leave. Jay hadn't really wanted to go out in the first place. "I'm gonna head out," you tell the group standing  only when you've finished the last of your drink. There's a chorus of goodbyes. As you walk away, you hear Jay excuse himself to use the bathroom. You know he'll leave for your place afterwards. Neither of you know exactly why you keep the fact you're dating from your friends. Maybe the sneaking around is thrilling. Maybe it's just nice having something of your own. Regardless, it's the worst kept secret of the precinct, though no one has any proof and they ultimately leave you alone about it.
You've only changed into a tee shirt when a knock beckons you. You let Jay in. The door has just closed and he's ordered you to take your pants off.
"We need to work on your foreplay," you quip, but Jay's not laughing.
"I'm serious. I need to see again that you're okay."
You sigh, but shimmy out of your jeans. His genuine concern for you was slightly overwhelming in the best way, never having experienced anything like it before. Carefully, you pull back the adhesive bandage exposing your fresh flesh wound, still very bright pink and aggravated. 
"I'm so sorry," he murmurs. 
"It's not your fault," you say, trying to reassure him.
"I hate that you were hurting and I couldn't do anything." He pulls you for a tight embrace while mindful of your thigh. He's completely still for a moment, breathing you in and finding peace in your arms.
Suddenly, he picks you up off your feet. It catches you off guard and you giggle. "What are you doing?"
He doesn't answer. Instead he takes you to the bathroom and sets you on the counter near the sink. He starts rummaging through your medicine cabinet, pulling out gauze, bandages, and rubbing alcohol. He grabs a clean washcloth from the towel rack.
You raise one eyebrow in question. "I thought I had Detective Halstead, not Doctor."
"Tonight you have both." You bit down on your lip to keep from laughing, but the misconstruction of his words hit him. "That came out wrong. That's not at all what I meant." Laughter escapes from you and Jay joins in, shaking his head and telling you to keep your mind out of the gutter.
"Mm, it's difficult when you're around." You give him a quick peck on the lips.
He turns the warm water on, letting it run for a minute. He tests it, making sure it's not too hot before soaking the wash cloth. He rings it out and looks you in the eyes. "I'm not sure this is going to feel all that great.'
You nod your understanding and Jay very gingerly begins to clean your wound. You talk to keep yourself distracted. "I can't stop thinking about the case. Clearly, they're competent for trial and I'm not justifying what they did, or tried to do. But I can't imagine losing a baby. Just the thought��" Your voice drops off. You wish you could leave work at work, and sometimes you can, but tonight when you're struggling to do so, you feel extra fortunate to have someone who truly understands.
Jay has almost finished cleaning your wound, allowing it time to breathe before covering it with a fresh bandage. "I know," he says. "I kept thinking about if that had been us and our baby, what would stop me from going crazy."
Your heart flutters a little faster, "Our baby?" It's the first time he's ever said anything like this.
He suddenly avoids eye contact with you. "Yeah? I mean someday...down the road if we are still...and that's something we...you want...maybe?" His cheeks are flushed and he glances at you, his green eyes full of hope.
"Jay Halstead," you offer him a big smile, "have you been thinking about our someday?" He nods, giving you a smile of his own. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him close to you. One of his hands rests on the countertop, the other lovingly brushes your cheek before you nuzzle into the spot just below his neck. You plant a kiss there. "Tell me more about your plans."
"Well they definitely don't include you getting stabbed again," he pulls away just enough to cover your thigh with the new bandage. A slight pout plays at your lips having not gotten the answer you wanted. Jay, seeing this, chuckles. "C'mon." He lifts you off the counter, carrying to the bedroom. 
Gently, he places you onto the bed. You watch as he kicks off his shoes and strips down to his boxers. He catches you admiring his physique and shoots you a wink. But you pretend to still pout and cross you arms. It causes Jay to shake his head, bemused by you. 
Pulling the covers back, he slides into bed and brings you to his side. He kisses the top of your head, fingers tracing a nonsensical pattern along your arm. "I see lots for us, love. So many ways things could play out, but it's always with you at my side."
"Yeah?" 
"Oh yeah, definitely," and with that Jay launches into different versions of the future he's envisioned. Some are improbable, others imaginative, many seem possible, but all include you, just as he said.
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becomewings · 3 years
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The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>
  BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 4 / 4
« pt. 3  |  start at the beginning
Introduction
The final sections for TaeHyung’s arc and the Epilogue are 4.3k and 4.4k, respectively. As with earlier parts of the series, I have included “tl;dr commentary” at the bottom of the post after a section of additional thoughts (specifically devoted to an interesting MV location parallel!). This commentary summarizes the parenthetical asides I made throughout the summaries and may be of interest as standalone reading to those who have already played the game yet would like to review its connections to the BU texts and MVs.
Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD
This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media
Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission
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Heart’s Distance
TaeHyung’s story opens with a short cutscene. In his apartment (with the calendar on the wall open to May), TaeHyung smiles at a photo of his father holding him as a baby. (The image looks similar to the photograph he holds at 1’48” in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film.) Remembering his father’s drinking and violence, he crumples the photo with a sigh. SeokJin then narrates over a series of shots explaining the latest developments in the loops. By this 15 May Year 22, he has saved NamJoon, ensured that JungKook and YoonGi saved each other, prevented HoSeok’s accident in the hospital, and borrowed everyone’s help to free JiMin. Everyone is gathered outside NamJoon’s container that night, smiling and giddy from saving JiMin. “How long has it been since we’ve all laughed together?” SeokJin asks. (This is a reference to the recurring phrase “we can laugh when we’re together” present throughout the Notes and occasionally this game.) He wants to relax and enjoy the moment too but knows this isn’t over yet. TaeHyung is laughing radiantly next to JiMin. “What drives this happy and innocent TaeHyung to commit such an unspeakable act?” he wonders.
SeokJin’s reflections on the coming days in previous loops present the crux of his challenge and this story: on 19 May, TaeHyung is arrested for vandalism while painting graffiti on the streets. (The bus stop depicted in the shot is the same as the one in Highlight Reel.) One thing SeokJin has learned through the loops is that TaeHyung and his sister live under the constant threat of domestic violence. On 20 May, TaeHyung goes home after spending the night at the police station. The situation gets especially bad for his older sister, and TaeHyung makes a choice that he can’t take back. (In the shot in the game, TaeHyung approaches his father from behind and the sound of glass occurs on a cut to black. We know from the I Need U MV and Save Me webtoon that he fatally stabs his father.) SeokJin’s inner thoughts relate that he has tried to stop this event by preventing TaeHyung from going home this day or even involving NamJoon—but all of his attempts have ended in failure.
While SeokJin is mulling over this challenge during their gathering on the night of 15 May, HoSeok approaches and asks what he’s thinking about by himself. “Oh, nothing much,” SeokJin dismisses. HoSeok remarks that it’s nice to be there with everyone. “It makes me think of the old days…” While HoSeok happily chats, SeokJin’s attention stays on TaeHyung as he approaches NamJoon. The player is given the choice to “get closer to eavesdrop” or “listen to what HoSeok has to say.” In the first path, SeokJin excuses himself to make a phone call and only pretends to pick up the phone as he nears TaeHyung and NamJoon. In the second path, HoSeok jokes about eating too many snacks in high school thanks to SeokJin. SeokJin is a little distracted, but HoSeok notices that TaeHyung has snacks. “Huh? What’s that? I want some too!” SeokJin uses this opportunity to follow HoSeok and join their two friends. The paths converge with SeokJin overhearing TaeHyung and NamJoon’s conversation. TaeHyung says he doesn’t want to go home and asks if he can spend the night at the container. SeokJin remembers that TaeHyung often mentioned not wanting to go home in high school. Back then, they thought it was because he enjoyed being with the group, but now SeokJin knows that he was probably avoiding his father. He wonders why TaeHyung insists on going home on the 20th since he hates it there so much. Maybe learning the reason will be the key to stopping—and saving—TaeHyung. “Do whatever you want. You can sleep over,” NamJoon replies. TaeHyung brightens visibly at this answer. “Do you want to stay up doing something? We can play a card game, or…” HoSeok chimes in too that it sounds like a fun idea, but NamJoon says he has work tomorrow and can’t stay up late. “Let’s play until I have to go to bed.” TaeHyung’s phone vibrates. His face is already grim when he peers at it. “Actually, I think I have to go home.” Surprised, NamJoon asks why, but TaeHyung leaves without answering.
SeokJin leaves the gathering and follows TaeHyung, shadowing him carefully to avoid detection. He wonders what was in the text that changed TaeHyung’s mind and notices that they’re heading in the opposite direction of his home. After purchasing snacks at a nearby store, TaeHyung stands at a bus stop. SeokJin wonders if he’s waiting for someone since he lets several buses pass by. Eventually, a disembarking figure approaches TaeHyung. SeokJin recognizes her as Kim Eunhye, TaeHyung’s older sister. She asks why he is waiting for her since he said he’d be home late. “I was about to head in, so I thought I’d wait for you,” TaeHyung replies. “You should’ve gone ahead. Dad probably hasn’t had dinner yet…” she trails off. TaeHyung says he ordered delivery to the house for their dad. “Did you eat yet? Here.” He hands her a hot dog. SeokJin follows at a distance when they begin walking home. “Do you think dad will be drinking?” Eunhye wonders. “Is that even a question?” TaeHyung returns. They go back and forth about how he has been drinking less these days, goes to work every day, and doesn’t get as angry. “I hope things stay like this,” Eunhye finishes. “...It won’t last,” says TaeHyung. From his sigh, SeokJin senses how little TaeHyung trusts his father. He is surprised to hear that his father goes to work every day. In previous loops, he wondered if the cause for TaeHyung’s accident was an external force and went to observe his father’s workplace, but the man was not at the construction site and apparently hadn’t shown up for several days.
“I better check it out,” SeokJin decides. He calls Uncle JunHo, his father’s assistant, to ask for a favor. The two meet later in SeokJin’s bedroom. “You wanted to go on-site for practical training, right? This is the form you need,” says JunHo. He dismisses SeokJin’s thanks. “The Assemblyman seemed to be interested, too. He said he’ll be keeping an eye on things.” “Father said that?” SeokJin checks. “Make sure to use this opportunity to take a thorough look around. It’ll all be helpful to you later,” JunHo advises. (It’s helpful to know that Kim ChangJun is involved in some shady business with a construction company—this is revealed in The Notes 2.)
On 17 May, SeokJin visits the construction site. The foreman tells him that they’re busy and won’t have time to pay any special attention to him. SeokJin is glad for the lack of watchful eyes because it gives him the opportunity to observe TaeHyung’s father, Kim SungHoon. He is working silently, and SeokJin can’t see anything wrong on the surface. “Why does he get so violent at home?” he wonders. The foreman has apparently been watching too and yells at him. “Oi, you! Why aren’t you working?” Kim SungHoon points out that there isn’t any scaffolding. The foreman orders him to use a ladder instead. “You can’t get any work done being all careful.” Kim SungHoon tries to protest, but the foreman won’t hear it. “Are you going to pay for it if the schedule gets delayed, Mr. Kim? Hurry it up!” A look appears on Kim SungHoon’s face as though he’s been wronged, but he uses the ladder to begin working. SeokJin’s concern must be visible, for the foreman makes conversation with him. “Ahem. Don’t get the wrong idea. You might not be well aware of it yet, but it’s hard to always follow the rules on site. We can’t stay on schedule if we’re not flexible.” “I see…” murmurs SeokJin.
Another laborer shouts, drawing their attention: Kim SungHoon has fallen from the ladder and lies groaning on the ground. The foreman curses and rushes over, demanding how he could be so careless and shifting the blame to him for not paying attention. With a hurt back, Kim SungHoon cannot continue working. Trying to downplay the accident, the foreman gives him a few bills and advises him to stop by the hospital. TaeHyung’s father seems to have something to say, but he withers under the foreman’s stare and accepts the money in resignation. The foreman then assures SeokJin that this happens occasionally on a rough worksite and hands him money too. “You’ve worked hard, so here’s a little something for you to get a nice snack. Forget about everything that happened today. You know what I mean, right?” His brazen, selfish attitude angers SeokJin, but he smiles and leaves to follow Kim SungHoon. He is shocked to witness TaeHyung’s father purchase alcohol at a convenience store rather than go to a hospital. Worried about what will happen if he drinks while injured, SeokJin tries to call TaeHyung, but he doesn’t pick up. The episode ends with a small scene of TaeHyung finishing graffiti on a wall. He doesn’t know why he painted what he did, but the “dumb, ugly-looking graffiti” represents how he feels. He rubs the still-wet paint, yet it doesn’t go away. Picking a new color, TaeHyung sprays over the existing layers like he’s pouring and emptying out all of himself.
On 18 May, TaeHyung deals with his third rude customer of the day at the convenience store. The man demands why he must pay for a bag, even though the law has changed so they can no longer be given freely. TaeHyung either relents and gives him the bag without charge or stands firm. In the first path, he gives in, knowing that he probably won’t restrain his anger if they argue further and that he’ll have to cover the cost with his own paycheck. In the second path, the customer flings the money at him before leaving. TaeHyung clenches his fists and holds in his anger. The paths rejoin with him reflecting that this isn’t a good day. He greets the next customer and realizes that it’s SeokJin. “How come you’ve been stopping by so often these days?” TaeHyung asks while ringing up his bottled coffee. “Huh? Just. I have some things to take care of around here,” SeokJin answers. TaeHyung doesn’t know whether or not to believe him. SeokJin keeps asking how he’s doing, and it makes him a little uncomfortable. Today, SeokJin asks more meaningless questions as always, until: “How’s your father?” TaeHyung can’t stop himself from responding sharply. “Why do you ask about him?” Taken aback, SeokJin stammers, “N-No reason, really. I was just wondering if he was well… Uh… Never mind.”
A rich-looking father and son enter the store, interrupting the awkward silence. The way the father looks after his son and buys him what he wants to eat plunges TaeHyung into memories—he once felt the same as the boy about his own father. He remembers asking his dad who the baby is in the photograph we see at the beginning of the story. Kim SungHoon said it was him. “Don’t you think you look just like dad, TaeHyung?” An incoming phone call shakes TaeHyung out of his memories. The food deliverer informs him that no one is home to accept the order of hangover soup. “Huh? My father should be there…” TaeHyung confirms that the deliverer can leave the food outside the door, but he worries about his dad, who was passed out drunk and groaning in his sleep when he left for work. “SeokJin. I need to run home really quickly. Do you think you can watch the store for me?” TaeHyung leaves as soon as SeokJin gives a startled affirmative. The episode ends in SeokJin’s perspective. He’s curious and concerned about what is going on with TaeHyung, as he couldn’t overhear the phone call. Since leaving the store alone to follow TaeHyung may just create more trouble for him, SeokJin decides to stay put and look for clues.
Arriving home, TaeHyung brings the hangover soup inside and finds his father slouched in the corner. More soju bottles are lying out than when he left this morning. “Your lunch is here.” TaeHyung shakes him when there’s no response. “Wake up and eat.” Kim SungHoon mumbles something unintelligible, so TaeHyung nudges him again. His father shudders and cries out. “You bastard! I’d just gotten comfortable!” “Oh… I just wanted you to eat before the soup gets cold…” says TaeHyung. Kim SungHoon calls him a bastard for not listening. “I just told you to leave that damn thing here!” “Hah… Anyway, eat your lunch.” TaeHyung touches his shoulder again, and his father shoves him away. “The pain is killing me. Get lost, bastard!” TaeHyung yelps. The back of his neck burns from something he hit, but he doesn’t feel the pain over the rage brewing inside him. He can’t stand to look at his father for another second and kicks the door open to rush outside. “But of course. Why did I run over here to make sure that miserable geezer ate something?” he thinks bitterly. TaeHyung’s temper cools as he walks back to the store, and he remembers the pain in his neck. His fingers come away with blood when he touches the spot. He trudges onward, planning to bandage it at work. The memory of the rich father-son duo comes to mind: the man holding his son’s hand so tenderly, and the kid smiling brightly up at him. It makes TaeHyung even more miserable, and he fights to suppress the feelings that threaten to overflow.
Alone in the convenience store, SeokJin feels anxious not knowing when TaeHyung will return but decides to poke around, hoping to learn something like he did when observing NamJoon’s room at the gas station. He either looks through TaeHyung’s backpack or a full box near the register. The box is only a makeshift lost-and-found with customers’ forgotten items. Despite his discomfort at rooting through someone’s belongings, SeokJin finds the crumpled photograph of TaeHyung as a baby with his father in the bag. “He wouldn’t be carrying it around if he truly hated his father. But it wouldn’t be crumpled if he liked him, either. Is it… love and hate?” SeokJin wonders. He also finds a post-it stuck on the counter with a note left by HoSeok: “I packed this for myself but Auntie invited me over for dinner. There are two patties inside. Make sure to enjoy it and write me a full review at least one page long!” SeokJin realizes they’ve spent all this time looking out for each other. He’s glad to see the signs of HoSeok taking care of TaeHyung and TaeHyung being grateful enough to keep the note.
When TaeHyung returns, SeokJin is concerned to see blood from a cut on his neck. “Are you okay, TaeHyung? What happened to your neck?” But TaeHyung avoids looking at him and doesn’t answer, instead putting on a bandage and continuing work. SeokJin ignores a call from Uncle JunHo, deciding it’s more important to look after TaeHyung. “Are you sure you can stay here all day like this, SeokJin? Aren’t there people at home wondering where you are?” TaeHyung speaks up at that moment. SeokJin smiles sheepishly. But with the incident looming ahead on the 20th and no solutions yet to avert it, he has no choice but to stick close to him. After TaeHyung’s shift ends, SeokJin asks what he’s doing now. The red seeping through the bandage worries him. “I’m just… gonna go paint some graffiti,” says TaeHyung. He reluctantly agrees to allow SeokJin to tag along. His phone vibrates before they leave. “Sis? What’s going on? What? The emergency room? Why is Dad there? Hold on. I’ll be right there!” TaeHyung runs out. SeokJin catches up to offer him a ride, which he accepts after a moment’s hesitation.
The perspective switches to TaeHyung when they arrive at the hospital and find his sister waiting with an uneasy expression. She thinks that their father was injured at work. When she tapped him lightly to wake him up for dinner, it caused him a lot of pain. TaeHyung remembers the incident at lunchtime and wonders if he felt like that earlier, too. Eunhye notices SeokJin, and TaeHyung introduces them, noticing that her hand seems to make her uncomfortable. “Did you hurt yourself, sis? What happened to your hand?” “Oh, it’s nothing. I… tripped before we came to the hospital.” TaeHyung knows she’s lying but doesn’t argue. He pretends not to see her injuries, and she pretends not to see the one on his neck—like they always do. Eunhye voices concern about the high bill, which the hospital wants them to pay before discharging their father tomorrow. “The company will take care of it if he was injured at work,” SeokJin assures. TaeHyung finds the construction foreman’s number in his dad’s cell phone and calls him. Reporting the situation, he asks if his father’s injured back can be processed as an industrial accident. The foreman denies that they can help. “How can we cover an accident where Kim SungHoon was drunk on the job and failed to follow safety protocol?” The foreman informs him that he already gave Kim SungHoon money to see a doctor. “There’s nothing else to say, so I’m going to go. And I’m telling you—don’t try to pull anything.” TaeHyung swears when the call ends. Eunhye wonders if the foreman is mistaken because she doesn’t think their father drank that day. TaeHyung purses his lips shut instead of replying, filled with rage at the patronizing foreman and their incompetent father. He hates that he can’t say his dad isn’t the kind of person to drink on the job, and his body shakes with indescribable emotion.
“They won’t cover it as a workplace accident?” SeokJin asks, the perspective shifting to him. He knows the foreman is lying but is unsure how to help TaeHyung and his despairing sister. He could pay the hospital fee himself, but that was counterproductive when he tried it for NamJoon in an earlier loop. Noticing a text from Uncle JunHo asking where he is, SeokJin postpones his decision for later and bids TaeHyung a quick farewell. “I’m sure there’s a way to take care of all of this. Don’t worry too much. Take care of your dad. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
On 19 May, TaeHyung and his sister exit the hospital room with twin sighs. Their father called the foreman back after hearing about the first conversation and let loose, only hanging up when his supervisor agreed to speak in person at the hospital. He also demanded alcohol all night and only recently fell asleep. TaeHyung notices that Eunhye looks exhausted and suggests that they take a nap before the foreman arrives that evening. Later, the foreman arrives with some workers and a box of drinks. TaeHyung stands in the corner, not wanting to butt in since this is his father’s business. The foreman asks how Kim SungHoon is doing, advises him to rest, and then adds, “We’re here to say that you shouldn’t bring up compensation since it’s your fault you were injured.” The foreman accuses him of drinking on the job, and the coworkers Kang and Seo nervously agree. Kim SungHoon argues back about being denied the scaffolding and drops the box of drinks, a “token of their sincerity,” on the floor. While the other works avert their gaze, the foreman looks down on him and clucks his tongue. “You bastard! You call yourself a man?!” Kim SungHoon roars. The foreman bristles. “What? Bastard? Watch your mouth punk!”
Eunhye tries to intervene, pleading for her father to calm down and apologizing on his behalf. The foreman accepts her actions like it’s the obvious thing for her to do. His arrogant attitude reminds TaeHyung of how he probably deals with his underlings. “Sir. My father wasn’t drunk,” he speaks up. The foreman’s arrogant air dissipates. “What are you saying? I have witnesses here.” TaeHyung explains that his dad did not drink that day or the previous one. The foreman scoffs. “Look at this kid. Where’d you learn your manners? He probably drank on the way to work even if he didn’t at home! Who do you think you are, raising your voice like that?” TaeHyung’s hands tremble with rage at the injustice, but he has nothing to retort. Suddenly, SeokJin appears. “I also saw everything. Remember me? I was there on site for practical training that day. I watched him work and he definitely wasn’t drunk.” The foreman grows flustered as SeokJin reveals the truth of the site’s dangerous work process and makes it clear that he coerced Kim SungHoon into not following the correct procedure. He glares between SeokJin and TaeHyung. “I don’t know how you both are putting up this united front… But you think it’s going to change things? We already paid him. It’s a done deal. Understood?” Fuming, the foreman leaves with the other workers in tow. “It’s alright now, TaeHyung.” SeokJin gently taps his shoulder. TaeHyung realizes how tense he has been when he loosens his grip and sees little crescents of his fingernails cut into his palms. (His wounded palms are a recurring motif.)
The perspective shifts to SeokJin while TaeHyung stares blankly at his hands. He decides to come clean about his payment of Kim SungHoon’s hospital bill, since the problem with NamJoon was that he paid it secretly. “You can think of it as borrowing—” “Thanks, SeokJin,” TaeHyung interrupts. “I’ll pay back all of it. Thank you.” SeokJin is a little shocked by his response—it is the first time he’s heard “thank you” from TaeHyung. He hopes that this is the beginning of solving TaeHyung’s problems and bids farewell for the day. Outside the hospital, SeokJin runs into HoSeok, who correctly guesses that he came to visit TaeHyung. “How’d you know?” “I stopped by TaeHyung’s work and didn’t see him, so I called him right away,” HoSeok explains. SeokJin expects him to ask about Kim SungHoon, but instead HoSeok worries about his friend first. “Is TaeHyung alright? He must’ve been so shocked. He cares a lot about his dad…” “TaeHyung does?” SeokJin checks. “Yeah. Even though he says that he doesn’t want to go home all the time, he always makes sure his dad gets a real meal every day. Even if he just eats convenience store snacks himself.” This is new information to SeokJin, who wonders if this is why TaeHyung is determined to go home on the 20th. HoSeok seems more familiar with TaeHyung’s sincerity than anyone else. SeokJin is still braced to explain how he knew about Kim SungHoon’s injury, but HoSeok is more focused on contacting TaeHyung and continues on towards the hospital. Overcome with exhaustion as his tension ebbs, SeokJin trudges home to plan his next move.
Later on 19 May, TaeHyung helps his father walk home after he is discharged from the hospital. He is grateful that SeokJin paid the bill but even more so that he intervened to verify Kim SungHoon’s unjust treatment. “SeokJin might be a better person than I thought.” No words are exchanged as TaeHyung supports his father. His arm is thin, but the weight that presses down on him is burdensome. “It’s the weight of the wheel that I can’t escape. The weight of reality—that I’m always going to be responsible for my father. A person that I wish I could let go, but can’t, and the contradictory feelings of hating my father but wanting to protect him.” In a perspective switch, SeokJin watches at a distance with bated breath. Even though TaeHyung seems accustomed to helping his father walk, Kim SungHoon raises his voice every time he almost falls. SeokJin guesses that TaeHyung is adamant about going home on the 20th because he is worried about his father, who is just out of the hospital, but all he sees is violence against his sister when he arrives. “I’m going to stop it this time, no matter what,” he vows.
On 20 May, SeokJin stands at the bus stop and touches the graffiti for which TaeHyung was arrested the previous night. (It’s the “I’m Fine” message depicted at the same location in the Highlight Reel.) He wonders what TaeHyung felt when he painted it and feels uneasy that he may not be handling this sequence correctly. SeokJin shakes away this premature doubt. There’s one thing that has changed from the previous loop: him. He has protected Kim SungHoon after his injury, paid the hospital bill, and built up enough credibility with TaeHyung to earn his thanks. This time, he reassures himself, his words will get through to his friend. Later, SeokJin follows TaeHyung when he leaves the police station. They walk in silence, but TaeHyung does not push him away or ask why he’s following. “Thanks for walking me here, SeokJin,” he speaks up when they arrive at his house. SeokJin waits a few moments before heading inside after him, entering a familiar situation he has seen far too many times: TaeHyung lunging toward his father, who looms near Eunhye. “TaeHyung! No!” SeokJin dashes to grab his arm. “Let go!” TaeHyung snarls and flails. SeokJin holds tighter, pleading for him to calm down. TaeHyung yells and shoves him away. SeokJin slams into something and falls, pain blooming in his skull. TaeHyung spins around with an expression of shock. The voices calling SeokJin grow fainter, and his vision blurs. “Tae… Hyung…” The glass shatters, marking another failed loop and concluding the story. (This is not the first time TaeHyung has caused SeokJin grave or mortal injury during his intervention: in the Save Me webtoon, he accidentally stabbed SeokJin with the broken bottle instead of his father.)
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Nightmare: Epilogue
Throughout the <I’M FINE> series, we have witnessed SeokJin’s trials and failures in the earlier time loops. These experiences culminate in the Epilogue, titled “Nightmare,” as in The Notes 1. This arc spans his efforts to save each of his friends between 11 April and 22 May rather than focusing on one or two characters. SeokJin’s decisions and their consequences here closely follow The Notes 1, so now we have a more detailed picture of his journey between the Save Me webtoon and the first book. The Epilogue fills in some gaps and provides greater depth to these events. For the sake of clearer context, I have still summarized the moments that parallel The Notes 1.
On 11 April Year 22, SeokJin opens his eyes to the familiar bedroom ceiling, the events of the previous loop replaying in his mind. Will he be able to save his friends this time? Uncertainty, horror, and the fresh pain of failure plague him, but he looks at the photo of his friends by the sea. Once, he believed that saving them would be straightforward. But while obsessing over only the problems that he could see, SeokJin lost his way and had to learn from his mistakes. The “signal fires” that helped guide him back were the times spent with his friends, the moments they began to truly understand each other, and the memories he wants to treasure. As he leaves his room, he reflects: “We’re all connected together by a single string, and we’re fated to save one another. And the person to finally put an end to all of this… has to be me.”
In his car, SeokJin encounters a scene at the school crosswalk that he always runs into around this time. He sees a downcast-looking JungKook crossing the street among a group of students. The player is given an option to get out of the car to greet him or pass him by. Regardless of the decision, SeokJin knows that he can’t let his emotions steer his actions. In a previous loop (depicted in JungKook’s arc), he brought JungKook to see the cherry blossoms blooming on the university campus. SeokJin wonders if the JungKook from that loop enjoyed it at least a little. But ultimately, it was just a day and JungKook ended up alone with nothing changed. Not wanting to repeat his past mistakes, SeokJin drives by without stopping.
Later that night, SeokJin pulls into Naeri gas station. NamJoon greets him with a now-familiar look of surprise. “Oh. SeokJin?” “It’s been a while.” SeokJin is determined to make this the last time they repeat this conversation. (As mentioned in part 1, this sequence parallels their moment at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV.) As they move to a corner of the station to continue their conversation, the perspective shifts to NamJoon. Something seems a little weird to him, and SeokJin looks like he has a lot to say, but he manages to gloss over it. NamJoon is about to invite him to the meetup with the other guys after work, but his boss yells for him to do his job. An expensive foreign car pulls up to the gas pump, and the customer drops the money on the ground when NamJoon reaches for it. “Ah, butterfingers. What are you doing? Not gonna pick that up?” the man sneers. The player is presented the choice to pick up the money or not. In both paths, NamJoon unconsciously clenches his fists. “You don’t want it?” asks the customer. The paths converge with SeokJin easily picking up the bills and handing them back to the driver. “You dropped this.” Hands shaking, NamJoon is mortified by the situation that caused SeokJin to react, yet his friend continues to stand there between him and the customer. The man demands who he is, but SeokJin advises, “You must be busy… So you should leave.” Out of steam, the customer drives off. NamJoon thanks SeokJin. “It’s nothing. What were you going to tell me earlier?” NamJoon forces his mouth to move. “Ah. I’m meeting up with TaeHyung and HoSeok today after work. Do you want to come with me?”
Back in SeokJin’s perspective, these are the words he’s been waiting for. Nerves dry his mouth, but he tries to speak naturally and inquires about the others. NamJoon doesn’t really keep in touch with them, but offers to call HoSeok, who still talks to YoonGi. SeokJin knows that YoonGi will call JungKook after hearing from HoSeok—this is how he saves JungKook tonight. His phone buzzes with a call from his father. “Oh, I’m sorry… But I need to leave.” NamJoon’s expression reflects disappointment yet understanding. “That’s too bad. Let’s hang out another time.” “Yeah. Tell the guys hello for me.” SeokJin turns back as he arrives at his car. “NamJoon. If we can get everyone together… Let’s all go to the ocean.” NamJoon looks puzzled by the suggestion. “The ocean?” SeokJin smiles in lieu of an explanation.
The third episode begins with JungKook fighting a group of thugs in a covered alley. (The date is unspecified, but this is a continuation of the night of 11 April.) They kick his stomach and spit on the ground as they walk away, a sight that reinvigorates him even though he can barely sit up. He either says something to provoke them or hurls his bag at them. Riled up, they beat him again as he laughs, vision blurring. They’re gone by the time everything comes back into focus. JungKook got what he wanted: he deliberately provoked them, and when he laughed, they called him crazy and hit him harder. He watches a breeze flatten a tuft of grass in the pavement, just like him. JungKook forces himself to laugh again because he’s afraid he may cry. Where does he go now? He feels like a ghost at home: he’s never a priority for his mom, and dealing with his stepfather is a pain. JungKook closes his eyes, hoping that when he opens them, he won’t be here.
The scene that follows appears to be a memory of 7 April, although it is not specified as such and is written in present tense. (This encounter occurs in The Notes 1 as well as episode 4 of JungKook’s story.) While wandering the streets at night, JungKook is drawn by a familiar piano tune to a music shop with broken showroom windows. He sees YoonGi, for the first time in two years, playing within and looking like he will crumble at any moment. JungKook can’t muster up the courage to follow when he leaves and instead sits at the piano. The keys feel cold like no one has touched them. By memory, he stumbles through the song that YoonGi played this night and back in the classroom hideout. YoonGi appears beside him and corrects the notes like he did in their school days.
The story cuts to YoonGi in the present, possibly in the classroom. He ignores his ringing phone partly because of his drunken stupor and partly because he doesn’t want to talk, but he finally relents and answers. HoSeok offers that NamJoon wants to hang out later. “I’m not going,” YoonGi says immediately. “Hey, don’t be like that. SeokJin’s here, too. Do you want to talk to JungKook? I called him earlier, but he didn’t pick up.” HoSeok encourages YoonGi to call instead because JungKook may pick up for him. YoonGi hangs up, thoughts complicated as he remembers a time when he watched JungKook play piano. “Looking back, that kid was my shadow. I couldn’t ignore him, even if he wasn’t speaking to me. And I kept looking out for him… because it seemed like he’d fall apart if he was ignored.” He considers leaving it be, but his fingers are already dialing.
The perspective switches again: on a rooftop overlooking Songju, JungKook grows dizzy and stumbles. Darkness grasps his ankles, and his mind empties. “I don’t want to leave anything behind. This will just be the end.” At that moment, his phone rings. He sees YoonGi’s name, and everything sharpens, as though he’s awoken from a dream. “What took you so long to pick up?” asks YoonGi. When JungKook doesn’t answer, he continues, “Everyone’s meeting up later. Do you want to go?” After a pause, JungKook says, “YoonGi. Please come get me.” (From the thug beating to the rooftop, this is how his 11 April entry plays out in The Notes 1, but it ends before their phone conversation.) Waiting for YoonGi down on the street, JungKook recalls when they all used to hang out in the classroom. “I have a place to go. People to be with. Right now, that’s enough.”
On 2 May, SeokJin sneaks into YoonGi’s workroom, which is filled with oil-soaked papers as though he intended to set it on fire. (It’s dark, so as the later part of the episode occurs in the daytime, it must be past midnight or in the early morning.) There is no foolproof way to save YoonGi since he acts unpredictably between the loops, but SeokJin has determined that YoonGi needs someone who can tie him to the world—someone whom he won’t push away. Once, NamJoon told SeokJin that JungKook still carried the photo they took at the beach. (The photo depicted in the game is the one of the boys on the wall by the sea.) While NamJoon probably relayed this to show that JungKook hasn’t forgotten about SeokJin, it stirs a different memory for him. In high school when they ditched and went to the beach, hunting for a boulder that supposedly made dreams come true, SeokJin noticed JungKook ask YoonGi an important question while their voices were drowned out by construction noise. He has now realized that both JungKook and YoonGi have the same desperation in their eyes. JungKook knows that YoonGi is like him: a person who needs a string to hold him here. Therefore, JungKook is the key to saving YoonGi.
SeokJin places his copy of the photograph next to the mirror in the workroom, hoping it will lead to saving them both. Before he can leave, footsteps grow closer. Flustered, he chooses to either explain himself honestly or hide. In both paths, YoonGi stumbles inside and collapses on the sofa, too drunk to notice that someone else is in the room. In the second path, some extra information is presented when SeokJin notices a little water dish and paper cup with breadcrumbs as he hides beside the piano. “He must’ve looked after it again.” In another loop, SeokJin saw a small, weak bird that got mistakenly trapped in the workroom. YoonGi looked after it, most likely thinking of JungKook. (This particular episode is called Small Bird, so the title may only be meaningful to players who choose this path or are familiar with the bird from The Notes 1.)
SeokJin escapes undetected while YoonGi sleeps. Later in the day, he watches the workroom from his car. The most difficult part starts now: JungKook must follow the hints SeokJin has left to save YoonGi. After staring up at the second floor for a while with an unhappy expression, JungKook seems to make up his mind and enters the building. The story cuts briefly to YoonGi’s perspective. In the workroom, the mirror shatters. (The reason is unspecified, so we are left to wonder if a confrontation unfolded like the one depicted in the Run MV and implied in The Notes 1, or if something else occurred.) Dizzy, YoonGi falters but manages to stand up. (Again, standing up from what? Possibly because JungKook hit him.) “YoonGi…” JungKook is rooted to the spot in surprise. YoonGi runs, leaving him behind. Back in his perspective, SeokJin starts the car as soon as he sees JungKook dash out of the building. He hopes that leaving “a sign” will guide JungKook to the correct motel. (In The Notes 1, it is a bloody tissue that SeokJin drops by the entrance gate because YoonGi fled his workroom with busted lips. The game episode closely follows how this scenario proceeds in Notes 1, so I’m not sure why it is so cryptic around the details implying that a fight occurred between YoonGi and JungKook.) Inside the motel (once again matching the I Need U MV), YoonGi lights the bedsheets on fire. He regrets having JungKook by his side because the people close to him get hurt. The memories of his childhood burn along with the flames: fragments of the day he arrived home and found it collapsing in a fire. YoonGi hears JungKook shouting. “I’m sure… He’ll be sad because of me. But he won’t be unhappy anymore,” he thinks. JungKook shouts for him to get up, and YoonGi finally looks at him. His last view of the room encompasses the red flames, the air wavy with heat, and JungKook’s crumpled face. The episode ends with sirens playing over a black screen.
Episode 5, “Connecting Threads,” picks up on 12 May with SeokJin preparing to set events in motion for saving his next pair of friends. At the hospital, he waits for JiMin to show up and overhears a conversation between a nurse and doctor. If SeokJin stays where he is, they notice him and postpone their discussion, but if he steps out of sight, they continue. The nurse mentions “patient Park JiMin” who has “transferred down from the 9th floor.” She reports that he keeps roaming the hallways at night and wonders if they should stop him “just in case.” “He’ll be headed back up in about three days or so. Just leave him be. If it really bothers you, check with them,” advises the doctor. SeokJin moves to his precalculated spot when they leave, planning to lead JiMin to the stairs so that he’ll run into HoSeok on his way down. In his perspective, JiMin is troubled by his stiff wrist as he waits for the elevator. A familiar voice suddenly calling his name draws him to the stairwell, but the light makes it difficult to see its owner.
The story cuts to HoSeok wrapping up a consultation with the same doctor from earlier. The doctor states that they haven’t noticed any huge issues and that he’ll be discharged soon. “Do you have any discomfort still?” “Nope, I’m fine!” HoSeok answers energetically and even strikes an exaggerated pose, feeling that he needs to. “Please take care to avoid any future collapses,” the doctor adds. This comment makes HoSeok either recall the last time he collapses or the last moment he spent with his mom. In the first memory, he collapses on the bridge as he thinks about his sick Auntie leaving him alone after she has always been at his side. In the second, he stands at the merry-go-round and wonders if his mom will be standing there when he finishes counting. “Sir… Sir? Are you alright?” The doctor’s questioning shakes HoSeok out of the past. He wants to say hello to JiMin before he leaves the hospital, but JiMin’s bed has been empty for a while. Worried, HoSeok heads to the elevator to look for him. A woman dressed in a long skirt and hat passes by with her child. “Mom!” Convinced that she’s his mother, HoSeok chases after her. He shoves past people, breathing ragged and heart pounding. Afraid to lose her, he either yells out again or goes to the stairs. The results are ultimately the same because she doesn’t respond to his shouts and disappears into the stairwell. HoSeok skips steps down the stairs in his haste. “Mom!” His foot suddenly slips, throwing his weight forward. He flails, but there’s nothing to grab onto—and suddenly, his fall is arrested by someone grabbing his arm. “HoSeok?” “JiMin? How are you here…?” JiMin looks equally surprised. HoSeok realizes it’s obvious that the woman isn’t his mom. Though he can’t remember her face anymore, he still can’t let her go. “Are you alright, HoSeok?” JiMin asks. HoSeok figures that JiMin doesn’t inquire about what he was doing or why because he already knows. “I wonder if JiMin is like me… living trapped in the past. If he’s unable to get better and move on, stuck inside the memories that bind him…” “JiMin,” HoSeok says aloud. “Let’s get out of here.”
From JiMin’s perspective now, he notices that everything about HoSeok in this moment is different from normal. “Get out of here?” JiMin echoes. Outside is unfamiliar and scary, and he knows that even if he escapes the hospital, he will still have to return some day. “JiMin, I’ll come back for you.” HoSeok leaves without waiting for an answer. Not wanting to say goodbye, JiMin follows him secretly as he’s discharged from the hospital. He stops at the line where the hallway ends up on the ninth floor, watching the bright sunlight filter in through the open door. JiMin turns away, believing that the place to which he needs to return isn’t outside but the ninth floor. “Because… I’m a patient.” The rest of episode 6 follows the events in his 15 May Year 22 entry of The Notes 1, with only minor dialogue changes. HoSeok pulls JiMin out of his hospital bed the night before he is scheduled to return to the psychiatric ward. SeokJin and NamJoon meet them in the elevator, while JungKook, TaeHyung, and YoonGi are waiting for them in the first floor lobby. A nurse finds them and sees through YoonGi’s flimsy excuse that they’re having a birthday party. Throwing snack bags and plastic bottles, they all run toward the exit. (This sequence is likely the one depicted in the Euphoria MV, although in the video it’s staged during the daytime instead of at night.) JiMin unconsciously slows as he nears the invisible boundary in the hallway, but HoSeok’s urging grants him the courage to cross the line. Passing through the door, he draws in a breath of fresh air and feels on the verge of crying.
The beginning of episode 7 follows SeokJin’s preparations to prevent TaeHyung’s incident on 20 May in the same fashion as The Notes 1. He waits at the park on the hill behind TaeHyung’s apartment building until HoSeok escorts TaeHyung home from his night at the police station. With careful timing, SeokJin calls HoSeok after he sees the two part ways and asks him to invite TaeHyung to their beach trip in two days. HoSeok turns around toward TaeHyung’s apartment.
The next sequence provides more details of the confrontation (and notably unfolds a little differently than what is depicted in the I Need U MV). TaeHyung arrives home to a familiar stale odor of mold and stench of alcohol. “Where the hell have you been all night?!” TaeHyung turns to see his father’s bloodshot eyes and his sister standing behind him, face swollen. Defiance surges through him, but the desperation in Eunhye’s eyes roots him to the spot. “TaeHyung, tell Dad you’re sorry and go to your room.” TaeHyung either apologizes, holding his anger in, or tries to go straight to his room. In both paths, Kim SungHoon yells that a beating should set him straight. He seizes TaeHyung by the collar. Something bursts and rages inside him. “What have I done wrong?! You’re the one who needs to get things straight!” His father stammers in shock, “W-what did you say?!” while his sister calls his name in warning. TaeHyung chooses to shake him off or hold still. In the first path, he shoves his father to the floor. “Why are you doing this? How long? How long do we have to keep doing this?!” In the second path, Kim SungHoon snarls that he has a lot of nerve to look him in the eye and strikes his cheek. “Why do I need a beating?” TaeHyung thinks.
The paths converge with Eunhye begging their father to stop. The voice continues thundering in TaeHyung’s head: “Why does my sister need a beating? How long are you going to do this?” “You two are a double dose of pain in my ass today!” Kim SungHoon swings at Eunhye, who has thrown herself between them, and she sways at the rough blow. The injustice of it all stokes TaeHyung’s rage. “What have we done wrong? Why do we have to live in fear like this?” Heart pounding, he notices that the cold bottle he’s somehow picked up grows warmer from the heat of his hand. He roars and charges forward. A shattering sound plays over a black screen, and someone cries, “No—! TaeHyung, stop!” TaeHyung comes to his senses. HoSeok is hugging his midsection, his sister is crying, and his father is nowhere to be seen. He wonders whose blood is on his hand. HoSeok stands there silently, looking like he has a lot to say but holding back. “I’m sorry, HoSeok. I’m okay… So you can go now,” TaeHyung says, calm voice belying his inner turmoil. “I want to cry, to scream, to kick, break, shatter everything. I want to fall apart, but I can’t do any of the things I want.” The world spins as he closes his eyes. Mind blank, TaeHyung craves NamJoon’s presence and wants to talk to him—to tell him that he almost killed his father.
The eighth and final episode, “The Pier,” closely follows the version of 22 May in The Notes 1, with the addition of SeokJin’s perspective providing greater depth to the events. The boys make it to the same beach they visited in high school. The observation platform strikes TaeHyung as familiar. As the sun sets, he remembers this all occurring in a dream, except that SeokJin climbs the platform instead of him. Atop the platform, SeokJin is fearful and full of emotions. Memories flash by of their suffering and loneliness, his failures and desire to give up as the misfortunes repeated. He is relieved that TaeHyung does not follow him. At nightfall, they head to where they’re staying. (In The Notes 1, this location is simply called their lodging, and in The Notes 2 it is referred to as a lodge by the beach that SeokJin reserved under his name. In the game, the room appears like the one in the Run MV party scenes (0’57”, 3’00”, etc.), down to the same string lights and sconces—more on this in the Additional Commentary section below.) As the others dance and laugh, SeokJin realizes that this is the first time they’ve made it this far. “It’s something I hoped so desperately for… and a day I thought would never come. We were all lonely once. We hid our own scars and lived through it alone. But it’s different now. We’re all by each other’s sides. We’ll never be alone again.” Despite these thoughts, he has a nagging feeling because he hasn’t told them the truth. SeokJin is afraid of their reactions, but this will be the only way “to really see them properly.” He announces, “I have something to say.” Only TaeHyung turns to look at him through the chaos.
TaeHyung balls up his prickling hand, wondering if this is about the dream he asked SeokJin about several days earlier. (The location of this conversation is unspecified in The Notes 1, but the game provides a flashback shot of it at the bus stop.) His frustration grows when SeokJin begins to mention high school instead. TaeHyung interrupts sharply, believing that SeokJin is still cowardly avoiding the truth. “Are you talking about when you spied for the principal in high school and told him everything we were up to? Or were you going to mention how, because of that… YoonGi got expelled?!” The mood in the room chills. “I’m sorry.” SeokJin drops his head, while the others look away or stare in surprise. But TaeHyung doesn’t want to be unhappy without knowing why, even if the truth is worse than the nightmare. “Is that all? Or are you hiding more from us?”
The perspective switches back to SeokJin. He guesses that TaeHyung is asking about the dream but can’t reveal that the tragedies he experienced were real, believing that no one else should have to suffer with that knowledge. NamJoon approaches and tries to calm TaeHyung, but TaeHyung pushes him away. “Stay out of this, NamJoon. Why does it matter to you? You’re not my brother.” (In the album Note from Her and as a flashback in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard NamJoon talking on the phone while they walked to their lodging. NamJoon was speaking to his parents about his younger brother being old enough to take care of himself, but TaeHyung apparently took this to heart as something about himself. It hurt and angered him deeply.) “TaeHyung, I’m sorry,” SeokJin attempts to plead with him. “Stop it, Kim TaeHyung!” NamJoon warns. TaeHyung demands again that SeokJin explain everything. The interrogation unleashes all the memories of his friends’ tragedies that he has tried to forget. SeokJin feels like his nightmares are going to become reality, and his mind goes blank as TaeHyung and NamJoon continue to argue. “I repeated so many moments of suffering… for you… Why are you doing this to me?! I only wanted to be able to laugh together.” A little flame grows within SeokJin, an indescribable feeling cresting like a wave. This is what his countless attempts have led to? “What’s so great about being together?” Shaking off NamJoon’s arm, TaeHyung yells, “Who are we to one another? We’re all alone in the end!” “Alone…” The thing SeokJin has desperately been holding onto breaks away, and the shaking in his hands now consumes his entire body.
SeokJin hits TaeHyung. He remembers TaeHyung’s sudden jump off the seaside platform—a time he thought he saved them all. “I even kept that from happening—and he says we’re all alone in the end? The hopes I had for all of us to be happy, and for us to face coming days together… It all feels like it was for nothing. I thought I left my repeating misfortunes behind me, but I now see them again, taunting me from just ahead.” This concludes the Epilogue and the <I’M FINE> series. Notably, the glass does not break, suggesting that this loop continues from this event (as it does in The Notes 1) without yet resetting.
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Additional Commentary
The only point I want to touch on here is the depiction of the boys’ lodging on 22 May after their beach trip and its potential implications. In The Notes 1, this location is simply called their lodging, and in The Notes 2 it is referred to as a lodge by the beach that SeokJin reserved under his name. In the game, the room appears like the one in the Run MV party scenes (0’57”, 3’00”, etc.), down to the same string lights and sconces.
As a standalone MV set, this location felt (to me) more metaphorical than concrete. It’s introduced after NamJoon opens the door of a train’s shipping container, a little film editing trick as though it’s a world inside—and it does feel like a space away from the real world where the boys are free to let loose, revel in their youth, and be themselves. While it seemed to serve as a more glamorous substitute for NamJoon’s shipping container where they often gathered, this location also appeared to stand in for the location of JungKook and YoonGi’s confrontation (2’24”-2’55”). An altercation between them is heavily implied in SeokJin’s 2 May entry from The Notes 1, but it occurs in YoonGi’s workroom. Since Run is an MV rather than one of the short films, which always present BU events and locations more literally than their song counterparts, it doesn’t seem too unusual that these sets are condensed to one in this video. YoonGi’s workroom isn’t portrayed until Highlight Reel, so we can kind of excuse one of the earliest MVs for artistic license.
However… the inclusion of this location in the game considerably changes the circumstances! Since it is both canon and animated, the creators had the ability to design the settings as they are truly intended to appear (within the general limitations of the game’s engine and visual style). It must have been a very deliberate choice that led to the reuse of the Run MV’s set for the 22 May beach lodging. (For what it’s worth, I have always interpreted SeokJin’s and TaeHyung’s fight in the Japanese MV for Blood Sweat & Tears to represent the fallout of that night, and that is staged in a different set.)
To further complicate matters, a date has been explicitly attached to one of the scenes in Run because it is matched shot-for-shot in the BU Story trailer Map of the Soul—and it is neither 2 or 22 May.
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24 July Year 22 is not reached in <I’M FINE>, but in the Notes, this is the date the boys plan to gather at NamJoon’s container to celebrate JungKook���s discharge from the hospital. So far in The Notes 1 and 2 (and various album-accompanying Notes from MotS: Persona and 7), this event has hardly manifested as the celebration it is intended to be. This particular shot maps a little better to the circumstances in Notes 2, as not all of them even show up in Notes 1. But again, this gathering occurs at the container—so what, and where, is this shot really depicting? How is it linked to the beach lodging they visit in some loops on 22 May?
BU has been in development for years now, so I believe there is intentionality behind this location’s depiction in the game, even if it raises more questions than it answers. Perhaps it is foreshadowing a very different version of 24 July in which they return again to the beach lodging. This is my best guess for now, and it’s exciting to think that there are still hints embedded in the older MVs for aspects of the plot that have yet to be fully revealed in The Notes.
What do you think? Did you notice the location parallels if you played the game, and did they inspire any new theories for you?
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As mentioned above, the following “tl;dr” commentary summarizes the parenthetical notes I provided in the summaries in case you want to review them on their own.
Heart’s Distance — tl;dr commentary
In the opening cutscene, TaeHyung’s photograph of his father holding him as a baby looks similar to the one he holds at 1’48” in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film.
During the gathering at NamJoon’s container after everyone freed JiMin from the hospital, SeokJin asks, “How long has it been since we’ve all laughed together?” This is a reference to the recurring phrase “we can laugh when we’re together” present throughout the Notes and occasionally this game.
On 19 May, TaeHyung is arrested for vandalism while painting graffiti on the streets. The bus stop depicted in the shot is the same as the one in Highlight Reel.
In the shot in the game illustrating TaeHyung’s choice on 20 May that he “can’t take back,” he approaches his father from behind and the sound of glass occurs on a cut to black. We know from the I Need U MV and Save Me webtoon that he fatally stabs his father.
When SeokJin asks Uncle JunHo for a favor to visit a construction site for practical training, JunHo expresses that SeokJin’s father seems to be interested, too. “Make sure to use this opportunity to take a thorough look around. It’ll all be helpful to you later,” JunHo advises. It’s helpful to know that Assemblyman Kim ChangJun is involved in some shady business with a construction company—this is revealed in The Notes 2.
After the foreman leaves his father’s hospital room, TaeHyung realizes how tense he has been when he loosens his grip and sees little crescents of his fingernails cut into his palms. His wounded palms are a recurring motif.
On 20 May, SeokJin stands at the bus stop and touches the graffiti for which TaeHyung was arrested the previous night. It’s the “I’m Fine” message depicted at the same location in the Highlight Reel.
The story ends with SeokJin losing consciousness after TaeHyung shoved him away and he slammed into something, marking another failed attempt while preventing the homicide. This is not the first time TaeHyung has caused SeokJin grave or mortal injury during his intervention: in the Save Me webtoon, he accidentally stabbed SeokJin with the broken bottle instead of his father.
Nightmare: Epilogue — tl;dr commentary
SeokJin and NamJoon’s conversation when they reunite at the gas station on the night of 11 April begins with 2 familiar phrases: “Oh. SeokJin?” “It’s been a while.” As mentioned in part 1, this sequence parallels their moment at the end of the Blood Sweat & Tears Japanese version MV.
In episode 3, the scene of JungKook finding YoonGi playing piano at the music shop appears to be a memory of 7 April, although it is not explicitly stated as such. This encounter occurs in The Notes 1 as well as episode 4 of JungKook’s story.
From JungKook’s beating at the hands of thugs to the rooftop, this is how his 11 April entry plays out in The Notes 1, but it ends before his phone conversation with YoonGi.
SeokJin reflects on a time NamJoon told him that JungKook still carried the photo they took at the beach. The photo depicted in the game is the one of the boys on the wall by the sea.
Episode 4 is called “Small Bird,” yet the bird is only referenced in one of the choice’s paths (SeokJin hides behind the piano in YoonGi’s workroom). The title may be more meaningful to players who choose this path or are familiar with the bird from The Notes 1.
The game is even more cryptic than The Notes 1 about JungKook and YoonGi’s apparent altercation on 2 May in his workroom. When the perspective cuts to YoonGi, the mirror has already been shattered. The reason is unspecified, so we are left to wonder if a confrontation unfolded like the one depicted in the Run MV and implied in The Notes 1, or if something else occurred. The “sign” that SeokJin leaves to guide JungKook to the correct motel is also unspecified, but in The Notes 1, it is a bloody tissue because YoonGi fled his workroom with busted lips.
The motel room that YoonGi sets on fire in this loop once again matches the I Need U MV.
JiMin’s escape sequence from the hospital is likely the one depicted in the Euphoria MV, although in the video it’s staged during the daytime instead of at night.
TaeHyung’s confrontation with his father on 20 May unfolds a little differently than what is depicted in the I Need U MV.
Some notes/thoughts on the 22 May post-beach trip lodging are included in the Additional Commentary section above.
TaeHyung has a flashback to several days prior to 22 May when he asked SeokJin about his recurring dreams. The location of this conversation is unspecified in The Notes 1, but it’s depicted at the bus stop in the game.
TaeHyung pushes NamJoon away physically and verbally when he tries to interrupt his interrogation of SeokJin at the lodging. “Stay out of this, NamJoon. Why does it matter to you? You’re not my brother.” In the album Note from Her and as a flashback in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard NamJoon talking on the phone while they walked to their lodging. NamJoon was speaking to his parents about his younger brother being old enough to take care of himself, but TaeHyung apparently took this to heart as something about himself. It hurt and angered him deeply.
Notably, the glass does not break at the end of the Epilogue, suggesting that this loop continues from this event (as it does in The Notes 1) without yet resetting.
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This brings us to the end of the BTS Universe Story <I’M FINE> highlights! This series turned out a little different than I originally envisioned, but I hope you found these summaries helpful and worthwhile to read. If you have any questions, important details that you felt I overlooked, or theories of your own that you would like to share, feel free to send me an ask!
For more informational storyline content, please check out the Timeline project, currently in development!
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