hey Who was going to tell me there’s an Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month and that it’s apparently Now

Calling him Sammy - Sam Winchester x Reader

(WARNING - alcohol mention paired with weak tolerance and drunken shenanigans)

“Dean I’m not gonna say it he’ll get upset” you say to Dean, sitting in the motel room you’re sharing with the brothers. “He won’t care, he likes you y/n he would probably be happy that you call him Sammy!” Dean replies. You two have been arguing about this for days, he is convinced that his brother, Sam, likes you and you’re convinced that he does not. Sure you like him, and Dean knows this because he is a thieving bastard who went through your phone messages, but there’s no way he could like you back! “I don’t want to ruin our friendship or make things weird or make whatever bad thing that could happen, happen.” You say, and just as Deans about to make some comment back the door to the motel opens and in comes Sam. “Hey you two!” He says as he walks in with takeout. “Hey Sam!” You say, happy to see him, and to have that conversation over. Dean just nods and smiles, turning to glare at you for a moment. You guys eat the takeout and put on a movie. Later when you’re done, Dean says he’s gonna go to the bar and invites you two to come with him. “Sure! I mean if you want to” Sam says as he turns to you. “Yea, why not!” You say as you get up to get your bag ready.

You are 3 beers in and are getting tipsy already, meanwhile sam is still a fully functioning person sitting across from you. Dean is off who knows where most likely trying to get some chicks number. “You know what, fuck it” you say, starting to slur your words. Sam looks at you confused, and you continue, “Sammy, do you like me?” You ask as serious sounding as you can considering you sound like you’ve been drinking since morning. He smiles wide, “y/n I think you’ve drank too much” he says with a bit of laughter. You start getting confused and upset, “I have not! Dean said you liked me, do you?” You say, trying to sound serious again. He just looks down and then back up to you with the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen plastered to his face, “I do like you y/n, and I’m also gonna take you back to the motel because you called me Sammy and that is how I know you have definitely drank too much” he finishes the sentence with laughter as he gets up and comes over to your side of the table, handing you his hand. You take it and he pulls you up, “lets go find Dean and tell him we’ll meet him at the motel” he says as he walks you over to the counter.

The next morning you wake up with a pounding headache and a pit in your stomach. “Oh god what did I do last night” you groan as you pull yourself out of bed. Dean and Sam are already up which you don’t notice until all of the sudden Dean says “I can’t believe you actually called him Sammy!”. “What are you talking about?” You say confused as you sit at the table with the two of them. “You called me sammy and asked if I liked you last night” sam said to you, a little red in his cheeks. His red cheeks are nothing compared to yours however as you look shocked, “IM SO SORRY OH MY GOD” you say very loudly. Sam and Dean start laughing, “it’s ok y/n, I’m guessing you don’t remember what I said last night anyways” Sam says. You shake your head, looking panicked, bracing yourself for the im sorry I don’t feel the same way monologue, only to be met with a kiss. It was short, but you could feel the smile creeping onto his lips while yours were together. When he pulled away you were somehow even more red. “I don’t know why you would be so worried anyways, I mean that’s not the first time you called me Sammy you know” Sam said. “What do you mean?” You asked, “I don’t recall ever calling you that before..” you said. “Well, you kinda talk in your sleep..” Sam said with a wide smirk on his face. Dean burst out laughing once your face showed your reaction. “WHY DO YOU THINK I KNEW HED BE SO OK WITH IT!?” Dean said practically wheezing. You were shocked, “how often did I do it?” You ask. “Often.” Sam said plainly with a smile on his face. You looked horrified to say the least. “By the way, you’re allowed to call me Sammy” Sam started, “but only if I can call you my love” he finished with a smirk. You turned red and nodded, “sounds good with me, Sammy.” You said.

completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly (spencer reid x reader)

overview: spencer helps his best friend talk through her emotions

genre: angst? and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating, bad coping mechanisms, idrk what else reader being upset for a little bit

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app FOREVER but idk how i feel ab this one im usually strictly fluff so yall lmk :)

masterlist

you hated talking about your feelings. you knew it was unhealthy to keep it bottled and and 'deal with it on your own' but that didn't stop you from doing exactly that.

the worst part about your feelings right now was that you isolate to cope with them. you didn't want to interact with anyone at all because more likely than not you would lash out at them on accident. it just slips out sometimes.

when you trudged into the bullpen with your head down and your hands fidgeting with your zipper, you didn't even notice all eyes on you. you werent your usual happy self. you weren't being loud, you weren't cracking jokes. you were just begrudgingly existing amongst your favorite people and they knew there was something wrong.

"good morning gorgeous, its a paperwork day! that means no traveling!" garcia informed you brightly, trying to lighten my mood.

"oh. cool. thanks." you answered back, flashing her as much of a smile as you could muster after realizing the harshness of your words.

she shot morgan a look, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"hey pretty lady," he began as he walked over to you, "whats going on? did you drink some grumpy juice for breakfast?"

"no. im fine." you replied flatly, making your way to your desk.

"what in the world.." he whispered to garcia, not knowing you could still hear.

or maybe he did know. maybe he was trying to get on your nerves. no. this is the irritability talking. morgan was just being a good friend.

you groaned at your computer, retyping the same password for the 4th time.

this time Prentiss shot you a look.

"is everything ok?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"yeah my computer is being stupid." you rolled your eyes as it finally let you in.

"oh i know the feeling. if you need any help-"

"I'm alright. thanks." you cut her off, eyes glued to the file you were working on.

JJ, who had witnessed the whole interaction unfold, stood with her mouth agape.

"spence, your bestie needs you!" JJ tapped his shoulder and motioned to you.

he watched your jaw rhythmically clench and unclench. your tell. thats what you always did when you were irritated or angry.

"hey y/n," he hummed, sitting lightly on the corner of your desk, crinkling some of your paper work.

"Reid! my files!" you cried, swatting his thigh. he got up and murmured an apology.

"are you ok?" he asked simply, crouching down to meet your height as you sat in your chair.

"why does everyone keep asking me that!"

you knew why. you were being a bitch.

"you just called me Reid." he stated.

"its your name." you replied, not meeting his gaze.

"yeah but you always-" he began.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

he sighed, "if you need someone to talk to-"

"i don't need anyone to talk to because theres nothing to talk about!" you interrupted, causing him to furrow his eyebrows at the tone of my voice.

'i shouldn't be mean to him. why am i acting like this?' you thought to yourself

"ok, ill be over there if you need me," he threw his hands up in surrender.

you mumbled an ok and went back to distracting yourself with work. you were so invested in filing these cases you completely lost track of time and before you knew it, it was just you, Hotch, and Spencer left in the office. you vaguely remembered waving goodbye to your other coworkers but you didn't remember it being nearly 6pm.

"guys go home, you've done a lot today," Hotch said as he crossed the bullpen, making his way towards the glass doors.

"yeah i will i'm almost done," you answered, not looking up from my screen.

"good night, Hotch," Spencer called from the break room.

you stared at your screen, eyes burning. you did enough. you cant escape confronting your feelings much longer. you sighed as you began packing up.

as if on cue, Spencer walked out of the break room with two cups in his hands, steam rising from the both of them. your mood softened just a bit.

"here," he handed you your drink which he had filled with your favorite tea and sweetened just the way you like it.

"you didnt have to." you replied, setting down the warm cup as you finished packing up. he mirrored your movements, resting his satchel across his torso before picking his drink back up.

"i know." he answered simply, a gentle smiling resting on his lips before he took a sip of his own tea.

"im sorry for snapping at you earlier." you apologized, finally meeting his gaze. his eyes were soft and sweet and you felt a pang of guilt in your heart as they looked into your own.

"its ok. do you want to tell me why?" he asked, walking to the elevator with you.

"no. yes? i dont know. its stupid." you replied, looking down at the floor as you recounted your reason for my anger today.

"its not stupid." he spoke softly.

you scoffed lightly, "you dont even know what it is."

"so tell me."

"but its dumb!"

"y/n." he warned.

"my ex boyfriend, Ashton, is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with." you sighed, walking through the parking lot with Spencer.

"ah so Trashton put my favorite ray of sunshine in a bad mood." he joked, breath swirling around the cool air as he spoke

you let out a weary chuckle, "its not like i miss him or anything, i just wish i had someone! not him- i just- i want- ugh i don't know how to word this!" you grew frustrated, furrowing your eyebrows and balling your hands into fists.

you knew exactly how to word it.

you wanted Spencer.

"its ok, take all the time you need." he whispered, leaning on the hood of your car. you joined him, resting as you took a sip of your tea.

"why am i not good enough to be loved." you stated the question rather than asking it, eyes filling with tears.

"you are good enough and i promise you that you are loved more than you know." he affirmed gently, turning to face you.

"do you know why we broke up?" you asked, knowing if you acknowledged his previous comment you wouldn't be able to continue without sobbing.

"because he cheated on you." he answered confidently.

"no." you shook your head, fighting back tears.

"what? he didn't cheat on you?"

"he did. and i was going to forgive him for that."

Spencer started getting riled up, "what! why? you're worth more than that scumbag! you shouldn't ha-"

"Spencer just let me finish!" you cut him off. he went silent, chest rising and falling more rhythmically than it had seconds earlier. "he wanted me to chose. him or you."

"him or me?" he furrowed his eyebrows, voice much quieter now.

"mhm." you hummed not meeting his gaze, your cheeks redder than you'd like to admit.

"i don't understand." he breathed.

"he thought i was cheating on him with you. he had no proof and it w-"

"oh this is all my fault. y/n i'm so sorry!"

"no! spence its not your fault!" you grabbed his arm to reassure him.

"it is! your boyfriend broke up with you because of me! and now you're sad and lonely and its all my fault!" he cried, looking worriedly into your eyes.

"first of all, i broke it off with him, he just gave the ultimatum. secondly, you did me a favor."

"how?"

"by showing me who i was really dating. a cheating, insecure scumbag who was quick to replace me when i left."

"i guess thats true."

"and id pick you over him any day." you admitted, looking back down at the ground. he nudged your shoulder playfully and you cracked a sad smile

"im sorry i made you sad and lonely."

"you didnt. id be sad and lonely anyway."

"why? you would still have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me."

"i don't want a boyfriend if it isn't you."

shit. shit.

the words toppled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"what?" he asked, wide eyes and looking a little shocked. spencer was sure in that very moment that if he heard you correctly hed simply explode.

"i- no this was a bad idea. i just ruined everything didnt i!" you were speaking more to yourself, exasperated at your own stupidity.

"no," you felt him place a finger to your chin and lift your gaze to meet his, "im glad you said it because now i can admit it."

"admit what?"

"that im completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you."

"spencer dont play with my heart like this. are you being serious?"

"yes. i am." he said with a strange confidence than you had never heard before. hesitant but sure.

"oh thats so lucky because i am completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you too." you admitted, feeling about 100 pounds lighter, like you could fly. he pulled you into a bone crushing hug which you eagerly accepted. "i should talk about my feelings more often."

he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, "yes you should."

world littlest taglist:

@mac99martin

The Brothers reacting to an MC who likes to collect... rocks?

It was certainly a strange hobby to behold, but there were more than meets the eye within these rocks! If you crack them open they often hold such a wonderful design, and on the rare occasion they can probably even hide a geode or two, regardless, you were very passionate for these things and it just so happens that it catches some of the brother’s attention.

(A/N: Ill be doing 2 at the time for now UwU  

Warnings: none! 

Reader: Gender Neutral!)

~ 눈_눈 Lucifer ~

* Lucifer always kept an eye on you ever since you got to Devildom

* Cuz of this, he was probably the first to notice your... strange addiction

* He saw how you always seem to stop on your tracks to pick up a shiny smooth stone lying on the side of the gates infront of the HoL while he walked home with you.

* Or how you’d snatch a few from the gardens on an early Sunday morning when you think that everyone was still asleep

* Since it was harmless enough, he never really bothered to call you out on it 

* Lowkey does find it cute how something so small can already make you so happy, such an easy-to-please cutie you are

* It wasn’t a problem till he was told that you seem to be arriving late more often for your classes 

* At first he thought that maybe you were simply caught up in some mess from his brothers again 

* Maybe perhaps Belphie snuck you off to sleep again than go to class 

* But no, when he’d confronted you he was pretty surprised, and at the same time, confused at your answer.

* “There were these cool looking red geodes I accidentally found on the back, b-but I mustve dropped them at some point when Mammon and I were rushing to class...so I’ve been trying to look for more of them for my collection... Sorry...”

*To be fair you did look pretty apologetic for it and really didnt mean to botch up your schedule, but still.

* He lets you go pretty easily, with a small lecture, but thats about it. 

* Although you never did stop looking for that geode, you even pulled Beel to help with promise of a homemade cake to try and cover as much ground, but nothing.

* You came home that day a little defeated

* but much to your surprise when you reached your room, a small box was waiting outside your door and inside was none other than the beautiful red geode youve been so desperate to look for. And... well, you didnt have to guess who was kind enough to give it to you.

* The next day, you do go over to thank him properly for the help, and explain that you had been extremely captivated with that specfic geode because of how it reminds you of the first born’s eyes.

* This boi is highkey stunned but tryna make it lowkey though (pride 100)

 * Definitely amused and flattered. 

* From now on, he does continue to give you geodes to add to your collection, and would even accompany you on your little endeavors if his work load isnt too unbearing. Away from the eyes of his brothers of course.

* Hed definitely want to seek the perfect geode too that reminds him of you in return that he can decorate on his desk while hes working. Even better, maybe have the geodes crafted to a perfect ring that you two can wear.

-------------

~ ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ Mammon ~

* Not like youre complaining either

* Today was another weekend, and weekends mean you guys get to hang out!  

* Not like you two were ever seperated in the first place anyways, he’s like an octopus that just wont let go 

* Anyways, He casually enters your room, phone in hand as he scrolls through various articles featuring his modelling work, he was gonna show off as usual, afterall, this man LIVES for your praise.

* “Oi! (Y/N) Check this out! They ranked me number 1 on the most handsome model in Devildom! And I didn’t cheat the system this ti---”

* You had been busy in your cabinet when he walked in, so you didnt have time to warn him of your mess on your bed.

* Hence why, when he was starting to brag about his latest achievement, it was immediately cut off by a pained yelp.

* Mammon, too busy on his DDD, didnt notice the shiny geodes and stones you had left on your bed to arrange for your new dsplay case, and because of this, (his dumbass) plopped on the bed, landing right on the sharp edges of the beautiful rocks.

* It wasnt fun.

* You had rushed to help him as he started stroking his back from the sting, he was a demon so he was pretty sturdy, but cmon, landing on a buncha hard rocks was still not good.

* You did rush to go get him an ice pack for his poor back, and when you came back, he seemed to have been healed almost immediately as he stares at your collection with a big shine on his own eyes, they can rival the geodes at this point.

* “(Y/N)! Why didn’t you tell me you had these? Don’t yknow how much these would sell? Hell, I can even probably sell them for an even higher price!”

* The rolling of your eyes was very intense that Diavolo could feel it from his castle and you pushed that ice pack on his face to make him stop.

* You did make it very clear that if he ever decides to try and get any of these stones, you were gonna be snitching him to Beel for eating his pudding the other day (You wouldn’t though would you?)

* Still that does shut down his money making plans, but he does question you for it, why hoard these valuable items when you could make thousands of grimm for it? You even seem to have a talent for finding these too, it seems like a huge waste, and so you proceed to explain to him your love for these shiny geodes.

* First image in his head was you being a relative to a crow, or you being a crow in general, because if anything, thats what his little crows do, they pass him shiny stuff they find along the day, of course theyre not as extravagant as these geodes, but it doesnt negate the fact you definitely have crow energy, and hes so down for it. His love for you just grew tenfold.

* But who knew it can grow further? Because you eventually explain to him that the geodes you collected, or the simple stones you had, all were special because all of them hold a special memory. One of the smoother stones you had was the same stone you used to display your mom’s favorite rose garden, it even had your initials that you scrapped on when your were 5, another was a geode you found on your field trip at the human world and so on.

* Mammon definitely had his attention to you the entire time, this boy is smitten and he just loves hearing you talk about each one, he grows a small appreciation for them now and he can understand why you wouldn’t want to sell them away. But then he noticed you reach for a much cleaner, tear drop looking geode, it was a blue-yellow mix.

* You explain to him that this was your first geode found when you went here in Devildom, the first you also carved as it was more jagged than this when you found it, and of course, you chose to keep it cause it reminded you for your first man.

* Mammon was so moved,and he was just sitting there, red as a strawberry and mouth open like a fish out of water, but hes not the only one because you too were blushing like an idiot as you held the special rock.

* He does end up trying to act his typical ways, but he was nothing but a stuttering mess, and much to his embarassment, he was also tearing up.

* Please hug him, he needs it, he just cant help but feel so flattered that you dedicated a geode for him and he felt that pride and love swell to incredible levels, you definitely have him yearning for you even more.

* Next time you go out to seek more geodes here in Devildom, he might just come with you along with his army of crows, and even cuter, his crows would just hand you special rocks every now and then.

* This boy might just start his own collection now thanks to you, but most his geodes will just be dedicated to you

----------

A h h h hope you guys like it! I know its a weird premise, but I honestly do love gemstones and stuff lol, also yes i did indulge too much on Mammon, hush,but yeah, ill do more of the others soon!

(Art by me!)

Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!

Which of the Ramm guys do you think would be the first to comfort the others if they were upset?

This is a really interesting question because I have arguments for and against every one of them.

Disclaimer: this is almost all based in either what has been said in interviews/the books, public/stage behaviour or conjecture based on often extremely vague history and simplified personality traits.

A lot of this is also based on stuff they did/said a decade or two ago. People change and mature and learn each other better over time. Also just a reminder, I do not know them.

But like, I'm still going to do it.

Paul

For:

Loves his friends super openly, doesn't care about how it looks and seemingly gives them any physical affection they ask for

Has strong feelings on how people should be treated and will get genuinely upset when bad things happen to people he loves, often directed at people (example: the Mutter making of)

Very emotionally supportive of them as a whole, especially Richard on stage

Schneider said once that he didn't like Paul at first but now knows he's a good man willing to help with anything

There's a decent chance he's someone who would rather fix the issue with logic and action, especially if he things the problem has a simple solution

He's very funny and, while he isn't as sunshiney as a lot of the community thinks, he does still have a cheering sunshine smile

Clearly genuinely wants everyone to be as happy as possible and does what he can

Against:

He's a bit of a dick and I don't necessarily trust that hed have the right things to say at least some of the time. Can be very blunt which, although usually useful, might not exactly help with the feelings stuff

He has a lot of trust issues which tends to impact how people handle other people's distress

Schneider

For:

Calm and collected, grounding (which is ironic considering he's so vacant behind his pretty little eyes). Does yoga, which could be helpful when the comfort they want is an action rather than sympathy

Sees himself as the peacekeeper who can help bring the band together when they're split on something

He's totally one of those people who like the physical stuff more than they'll admit

Against:

Can be, or at least used to be, kind of cold and disinterested. Theyve said he wasn't interested when they started in making friends, though obviously a lot of that has changed. Sympathy doesn't seem like his thing. He said he re-learned to love though so there's that.

They'd have to time it to make sure he was inside his head because I'm not convinced he can control it

He seems like one of the most 'normal' ones. This could have been a pro but consider that he has a super hard time trying to understand Till and Richard in particular, likely because they're probably ND and just work differently

Flake

For:

Absolute sweetheart, very soft spoken for the most part, which is usually helpful

Uncomplicated, according to him. Will simply make you a cup of peppermint tea and let you talk it out

Seems perfectly happy to cuddle the guys if they instigate

If it's Till or Paul he's known and loved them for so long he must know them better than his own reflection

Against:

Comparatively uncomplicated emotionally, according to him, meaning he might struggle depending on the problem. If it's Till diving into the very depths of his depression and trauma I do not think Flake would instinctively know how to help. Then again, it's been three decades. He's probably learned

Unlikely to take charge and seems reluctant to go for the hug himself

Richard

For:

Very sensitive

Super physically affectionate. If they need a hug he is absolutely there for that

Has a long history of issues and traumatic events including depression, drug addiction, abuse, basically fleeing the country etc so if it's a Big Thing he likely gets it

Against:

He tends to be a little self centred (not necessarily in a bad way) and seems to use personal experiences to relate to others, which isn't bad but it can make some people feel you're being dismissive or one-upping

Thinks in black and white, unlikely to be a grounding calming presence, may make it seem worse than it is

Has plenty of his own issues, depending on the issue it might upset him more than them

A bit of a loner. Learned from an early age you can't rely on anyone but yourself, which could potentially mean he has a hard time asking for and giving others help

Till

For:

Hyperempathy

Can take you into the woods for a few days to hide from your problems and kill things if that's your jam

Can threaten as a joke to beat someone up if the issue is a person

Reportedly a pretty good listener

Against:

He has a surprisingly simple worldview, nuanced advice seems... Unlikely

Seems to have almost no time ever so good luck catching and keeping him for long enough

It's pretty likely he'd just suggest getting drunk and finding someone to fuck

Almost always seems uncomfortable with physical contact with the guys, at least on stage/in public. I'm not at all saying this is why, but the way he approaches it feels so much like when you come out and suddenly you and others overthink physical affection in case it's mistakes for something other than platonic.

Might actually hit them

Oli

Honestly can anyone make more than the most basic watered down guesses? Like, even worse than the usual? Does anyone know anything substantial about him besides that his parents are close in age, he's a massive introvert, and he likes strange rhythms? I'm gonna try anyway because I sure do love giving my opinions

For

He seems super calm, like talking to a zen garden

His sports are probably a pretty good distraction

Can and will pick a boy up if necessary

I genuinely think the whole don't touch me don't look at me vibe is purely public and that he's more affectionate than we tend to assume

Or, at least, he will allow it when someone needs it eg. Richard who will melt down into Fleisch Tier mode of he isn't given some kind of affection every fifteen minutes

So, supportive when asked, but won't stick his nose in?

Against

May or may not be a human, may have a difficult time relating to humans

But no in seriousness, going off his general demeanor I'm not convinced he'd be able to fully empathise with a lot of the guys' issues? He supposedly grew up very differently (read: in a healthier environment) to, say, Richard.

If we were talking about them a decade or two ago I'd say he's a fair bit younger than the oldest of them and I don't know how his maturity and experience would have gone down. Then again, Till is very immature so it probably isn't that bad.

So I guess maybe Paul? He's everyone's best friend.

Thanks for the question, I mildly apologise for this being my answer.

Figured id try this. AH  Chit chat livestream notes / QnA  7-10-20

because i'm weird i like “documenting” videos and (in this case) Live Streams. figured why keep this to myself so here. maybe one day ill just post a google docs link for a viewing copy but idk. So heres what i got for today seeing as the chitchat part will likely be cut off for the “real” video i may as well memorialize it. not perfect and may be kinda nonsensical but its what i could come up with.

Matt has a window…. With a balcony blocking above , pointless window. Red Web (trevors podcast)  “where he gets in over his head on the internet” “think if i just show them the episode of Technical Difficulties where i made garden lights into solar chargers i can get that tax kickback?” , Jacks neighbor with the tesla solar roof , having to train people to know how to install it . Ryan: “what are the odds he cant look outside at any given hour of the day and see atleast one human with a big piece of paper scratching their head” Elon Musk Starlink satellites for internet worldwide, Ryan “not saying that's _clearly_  a supervillain plot but if it was it wouldnt surprise me” , Ubisoft Far Cry teaser… oh its live action movie teaser clip- oh shit that's rendered!!! , teaser pick of a young Vaas with scars…. Ryan “Did he get them in the womb!?!?!?  Wanna know how i got these scars? Born with them don't know…”  “What is your fave type of cake?” Ryan: Chocolate (Lava)… don't put a sprinkle on it OR ILL SLAY YOU Jack: I mean is birthday a type of cake… Funfettis great Jeremy: both are stereotypical , Boston Creme cakes and Rum Cakes. Matt: Yellow cake with fudge frosting. “Pets and significant others are safe , what item do you grab in a house fire” Jack: Animation cel of the Dino DNA scene in Jurrassic Park (think i got it) Ryan: i mean my life looks alot like this corner , if i could burn this shit down to start with a new empty house i might even be happy. (chat Ryan your insurance is listening)  Jeremy: don't have much i really care about , just “well that sucks it burnt up” . Matt: first ever smash trophy i won , only one i still have. Chat answers “Photo albums , Ryans DeadPool Suit” “what games hope to be announced on microsoft stream?” Matt :  Fable 4 (Ryan ”surprised theyd try to bring it back past the press that is peter molyneu” Matt ” well now nothing holding them back , not those trees!”) Jack: not so much games but LockHeart the mini streaming Xbox. (Ryan: all those types of things have failed idk why they think - well they also made mixer and that went tits up so sure why not) Jeremy: microsoft doesnt really blow me away , arent really anything that im like “i HOPE they announce a sequel” Matt: know this isnt the right crowd but Banjo Kazzoie? Just added in smash , Crash Bandicoots got a new game it makes sense nows the time… i mean the time was already before this but fuck it do it anyway. Steffie says we are at almost 10 mil views on Achievement Knievel (9.95 mil)  Ryan “which one was that” (Jack and Jeremy) “that's Im Still In The Air” Ryan “oooohhh… now i know why i blocked it out… thought we titled it like “the greatest stunt ever” or atleast that's what we called it while making it” “rather fight 100 duck sized ChilledChaos (yey my boy chilled!) or 1 ChilledChaos sized duck?” Ryan “feel like the duck cuz atleast it still doesnt have thumbs” - Jeremy “or teeth , what is it gonna do it can bill and flipper you” Matt “i mean a bunch of tiny Chilleds can work together to kill you” Jeremy “right they will figure something out” Ryan “tiny chilled more dangerous he can infiltrate spaces i wouldnt expect to find him” “tv show / movie you could watch again for the first time what would it be?” Jack: Breaking bad and Endgame … but only if its with a crowd who is ALSO seeing it for the first time. Matt : The Office Ryan: Full Metal Alchemist (oh anime time) , everyone talks about Brotherhood but i really liked the original. Matt:  Brotherhoods a bit better but original is still good on its own (paraphrased). Ryan : had that twist at the end of “dafuq did this show just go?” made a movie based off it… skippable though. Jeremy: Futurama , *or erase all my knowledge of Whose Line* “Fave piece of Merch put out?” Jeremy: Geoff tanktop with the tribal skull. Ryan: *puts on classic gray achievement hunter hat* Jack: Extralife Posters if those count , like the Xmen AH one behind Ryan that Jon (Risinger i assume) and Pat (IDFK) made. Matt: Tiki Mugs. Jeremy “do you use those , make pina coladas?” Matt “often! When i get caught in the rain (GDI Matt) “ Chat alot saying FrontBack ,  one said Jacks Varsity Jacket. “Trapped in quarantine with a fictional character , who?” Jack: Macgyver maybe idk (Ryan: How about Dr Manhattan he could just fix it)  yeah like Q from star trek. Matt: GlaDOS but in potato form. Jeremy “theres a lot of anime girls id be ok being stuck with but idk their name” (i love jeremy)  a Matt: you want Lust from Full Metal Alchemist - Jeremy: That sounds great , (Ryan *Nods*) i can picture that i like it or if we keeping the Futurama train then Bender… think wed have A LOT of fun , and he wouldnt get me the virus! Ryan: no he would , hed deliberately try to get you  sick. Jeremy: hed bring people in “what occupation / person where you most surprised to find out was an AH fan?” Jack: Fun story im looking to learn how to Sauder , someone messaged me saying they're a fan if you need help , *hes the guy welding StarShip* Matt: well… anyone smart really… Jack (and Ryan) : the Dr Who Set/Prop designer (Ben) hes done some stuff us (think he snuck in a name plate on a show of Jack and Ryan name or something , saw a tweet about that before) Ryan: not really any that's surprising… there was the time Macauly Culkin wore our shirt (press my awesome button) “our” being RT  Jeremy: Cool meeting Xavier Woods but like we know hes a gaming fan and watches a lot of content like ours… still on Whose Line Johnathon Mangum is a AH fan , even messaging me at one point. Trevor in chat “what if president trump rode up in a Salad Chalice shirt” , Jack: one guy who bought it , like “im hip with the kids” Ryan: can you imagine someone less likely to be seen near a salad? Matt: I mean ryan he thinks he has to drink them so…. Jeremy: also been having a lot of solicitors recently for some reason… really annoying and during a pandemic. Ordered a sign thats basically “fuckoff im not answering the door LEAVE” , have a ring doorbell (some kind of doorbell app where you can talk to people at the door i guess?)  but when im recording cant be like “hang on a second - FUCKOFF” Ryan: i DO feel like you have the kind of job you could do that , if anything youd put them in the video like “hey you're live right now what you need” … Jack managed to crash 7D2D on my local system already that's a good sign (brief technical difficulties music playing as it cut to ryans screen in the game) 

@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 

October 13th – By the Gold Light of Your Halo

And the end of this sentence has never been truer. I was almost close enough to touch him…. (Not quite, but I sort of tried to a couple of times since I was literally second row aisle seat.) But I’m getting ahead of myself. Or is that a-Hed? You decide.

I was actually awake when Miya’s alarm went off the first time. Pretending to be asleep, but I’d checked my phone a time or two already.

Shortly after, my mom texted saying she’d talk with my favourite person at the bank about my debit card. I had more than enough to cover what I had tried to buy with it and yet…. Both she and Vicki were going to try to get down to the bottom of this because clearly, this wasn’t good.

I decided to answer the message when I actually got up. Which as it happened was about an hour later when John posted.

Of course 4G in Japan is still super slow and it takes forever to load, but whatever. It’s still John.

The previous afternoon, it was announced that there was no stagedooring. A little disappointing, but the stagedooring aspect was making nervous. What if I said something stupid to him like ‘You were great except for .“ Or "What the fuck is up with your wardrobe? Don’t you know how to dress yourself?” What if I lost the ability to speak my first language? (“John, ich lebe dich. Du bist der Hellstestern, meine Schöner.”)

I mean…. That’s the sort of thing that he might appreciate more if he actually KNEW me and knew that I was meaning that as teasing and that I wouldn’t actually want him to change the way he dresses or that I’m not actually all that fussed about whatever line changes there were (that weren’t supposed to be there.) I know it must be frustrating as hell for him when he forgets his lines or loses track of where he is in the script, but I think it’s cute. Very Hedwig. Very rock n roll. Very…. Robbie Williams. That man sold out STADIUMS and still would forget the lyrics to his hits. (Now he has a teleprompter XD)

Miya and I had breakfast. I had bought a waffle-thing at the store the previous night, but instead I tried some of the raisin sandwiches that I had purchased the night before. They were a sort of hard biscuit cookie with a soft, almost whipped, crème with raisins in it. And tea made with the lactose free coffee creamers that Miya had generously bought for me the night before.

We packed up our stuff to go to the theatre and ride the train. On the way down, I photographed every few stops so that I know where I’m going. On the way in, I saw an ad for a record store. Tower Records. I briefly daydreamt about running into John there. I know we probably wouldn’t if we went, but…. Still. Records. John. Not only two things I love, but things that actually go together.

The station we arrived at was actually under construction, the usual signs in English and Japanese having either been covered or taken down because of the diversions. In their place were signs reading only in Japanese and with arrows. I took photos of the ones I needed to remember to either turn at or follow.

Miya showed me around the Hikarie a little. In the back of my mind, this word sounds familiar to me, but it’s not until the next day that I can begin place it. The tour is more or less just walking by the various shops, occasionally discussing what they are, but more often discussing what’s likely going to happen with the show or Japanese culture questions. We actually went to lunch shortly after arriving.

For lunch, we picked the sushi 🍣 place on the 6th floor. The entire 6th floor is restaurants. Some of the other floors have restaurants and cafes too, like the 11th has a cafe right outside of it, but I wouldn’t know that for a few more hours.)

We go in and are seated.The restaurant has a very Deep Space Nine ordering system. You can click for your own language on the wall-mounted menu, there’s pictures, you tell it how much of everything you want, and the food comes on a short little track thing that looks like one of those short train things you used to see in westerns. And there’s a sushi conveyor belt. Very cool.

Miya remembered that sometimes shops in the Hikarie give discounts if you have a ticket to that day’s/that night’s show at the Orb. She calls it up on her iPad and then calls over the waitress. We get free drinks because we’re seeing Hedwig! I ordered tea, Miya stuck with the water and matcha powder.

We cancel the drink order off of our digital menu and then get down to actually ordering lunch. Miya orders one of the lunch specials, whereas I go a la carte. 

The first things I picked were a tuna roll and two pieces of salmon avocado. I miss avocado. I miss when avocados didn’t cost $5 per fruit…. The food arrives and is incredible. The best salmon with avocado I’ve ever had…. It was one of the few times in my life that I have ever had avocado that was light and melt-in-your-mouth and the salmon was So. Fresh. just… so fresh. 

I then opted to try some of the conveyor belt, pre-made sushi that was circulating around the restaurant. I grabbed the first thing that looked interesting – some small fried shrimp on top of a small pad of rice that was then all wrapped in seaweed. It had a nice, surprising yet mild heat to it. Feeling less certain in my ability to put the whole thing in my mouth, I picked some of the shrimp off of the first piece with my chopsticks. I also tried squid with a little bit of rice.

What I had forgotten about squid from the other time I had it at Wasabi is that it’s a very chewy piece of fish that’s hard to break pieces off of. Which in turn, makes it very hard to eat any of without putting the whole thing in your mouth. And when you swallow it, gives the unpleasant sensation that the whole thing is about ready to come back up.

The last unique thing I ordered was a couple of pieces of red fish on top of rice. I think this one was also tuna, but I’m not sure. And another salmon with avocado.

After we ate, Miya and I went to Bic Camera.

What necessitated going to Bic Camera was getting printer ink. And what necessitated the ink was that Miya wanted to give me maps to help with the getting around. At this point, I was just happy to be along for the ride. I’d never been to any of these places and possibly wouldn’t get a chance to go to them again anytime soon so why not? Just because it’s seemingly mundane, doesn’t mean comparing the differences isn’t interesting. We arrived at Bic Camera and were told that we actually needed to be in a different building for Bic Camera. Later, looking at the map of Shibuya that the Hikarie had for tourists, I learned that there are actually three buildings for Bic Camera in a relatively short amount of space. Who would have guessed!

Once at the correct Bic Camera, we went upstairs to get the printer ink. This building of the BC was set up like a department store, but entirely for computers, cameras, phones, and other electronics with a single floor dedicated to laptops, a different one for printers, a different one for phones, and phone cases hanging off of the edges of the levels as you rode the escalator up. This is the one of the stores I would love to have had the time to truly explore, but this was one of the few days where everything didn’t seem like it was going in such a rush to go here or go there or get this and get that.

We bought the ink and returned to the initial building for Bic Camera. Miya showed me some of the shampoos on offer since I had mentioned wanting to buy some the previous night. I explained that I had meant that I would buy her more of her own shampoo as a thank you for letting me stay with her! (They didn’t actually have her kind of shampoo and then we both forgot about it before I left Japan.)

The next thing on our list of things to do was to pick up the movie ticket for How to Talk to Girls at Parties. About two weeks before the start of the trip, it was announced that John was going to have his Japanese premiere of the film at the end of the week he was performing Hedwig. Of course, the tickets were again done by lottery and while we had won tickets to all of the Hedwig performances, I wasn’t certain that our luck would hold out enough to substantiate changing the plane ticket and extending my hotel reservation on the off chance that this would be the thing we weren’t lucky on. As a sort of consolation, when it was announced that fans could buy advanced tickets for when the movie actually opened in Japan, Miya offered to buy a ticket and give me the promotional pins that came with it. I had thanked her and offered to buy the ticket for her, again as a way of thanks. She had that said she did want to see the movie, that wouldn’t be necessary.

What was interesting then and what’s interesting to me still now is how many buildings in Japan have that department store structure. Where either it’s a multi-floor building that all of the shops belong to one business and you pay on at each floor or where it’s multiple businesses that are still interconnected and you have to walk through a shoe store to get to a dollar store. Being from the midwest where department stores are kind of the sole purview of malls and most businesses only get a single, possibly up to three levels, of their own, this was a fascinating anthropological difference. It wasn’t until I got to Osaka that I started to see more stand alone single story businesses.

We picked up the ticket, and I picked up some flyers for the movie. Miya stuck the pins and the ticket into her bag so that they wouldn’t get lost in my relatively huge Hello Kitty duffle bag that I had brought with me to carry my things and then we went back to the Hikarie. We still had over three hours before the show was supposed to start and had exhausted all of the errands that we had to do that day. 

Miya asked what I wanted to do, if there was any shops that had caught my eye, or if there was any particular type of store that I wanted to visit and I remembered seeing the billboard ad for Tower Records on the way in. Off of the prompt ‘record store’ (cos I couldn’t remember the name), Miya found where we needed to be and we set off again, past Bic Camera, and arrived at the record store.

What I was looking for most was David Bowie or Queen things. Both musicians are ones that I have numerous antidotes and stories both from and about in Japan. Freddie in particular absolutely adored Japan and had his house decorated in a Japanese/Victorian England style and David, well Japan was the first time that David felt like a success. (In addition – the story that he told in one of Mick Rock’s books about how he was given a beautiful cape that had writing on it, that he used in his Ziggy shows a lot, but didn’t know what it meant for over 20 years. It was his name.)

We entered on the second floor, and like I usually do in record stores, I found the clearance/discount section on the floor I wanted and started looking through. I didn’t find anything for David, but I did find some Beatles and George Harrison. It wasn’t until we started looking through the aisles that I found David. His section had the last photo that was ever taken of him as the header section – it’s by Jimmy King, it was taken on his birthday, I was not expecting to see that photo on that day. I started looking through the collected CDs, finding a few that I took photos of for later purchasing or eBay searching. (At this point, I was still using the money converter to estimate about how much each thing would cost.) All the while, I’m telling Miya little antidotes about David or about the recording of each particular album, session, or concert. It’s the first time this trip that I nearly start crying…..

Eventually, we leave the section – or rather, I decide that we have to leave the section – and go looking for Queen. It occurred to me in the process of making that decision how silly it would be to be crying on the day that I was seeing Hedwig for the first time.

Along the way, I found Freddie’s solo section. The price for his singles was just a little too high for what I was willing to pay at the moment, but I took yet another photo of the back for later research when I had the time and wasn’t anticipating potentially buying a lot of merchandise at the show. So far, the only things that had been announced were the t-shirt and the program, but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that more things might have been announced. And of course, dropping a LOT of money on Hedwig merch was the reason I had come out to Japan right now anyway. Well, that and seeing John.

Unfortunately, the Queen section was the same story – I either already had it or didn’t want to pay as much as the asking price for it. According to Miya, it’s because of the import charge. I found this highly ironic since in the US, it’s usually the Japanese things that have the extreme import charges. 

Since that was it for that floor, after a brief flick-through of the clearance section up front, I purchased a David interview CD, a small magazine for my mother with The Smiths on the cover, and a bag of record sleeves since they were cheaper to buy here than to wait to get in the US.

We walked back down to the floor that we thought Ataru’s music would most likely be on and outside, I picked up some more flyers and booklets for things that I thought sounded interesting or cool. I ended up buying one of Ataru’s CDs – her most recent – before we moved onto the last floor we visited that day: soundtracks and movies.

That particular Tower Records had nothing for Hedwig nor RENT on the day that we visited, but I was able to snag some photos of the press for Trainspotting 2 (my favourite film with a US release this year) before we left.

We headed back to the Hikarie again and still had about an hour and a half before the show was going to start. Miya asked if I wanted to go get something on one of the lower levels or at the cafe outside the theatre, but since re-entering the building, it was all about Hedwig. Every part of me was focused on Hedwig. And like I usually am before seeing a show I’m highly anticipating or talking to a crush, I was trying not to vibrate out of my skin. Definitely too nervous to eat.

We went to the convenience store outside of the theater, this time a Lawson and not a 7/11, and I bought a pack of something that was shoved into my bag for later and a hot bottle of tea. The flavour of the tea was what I’d imagine hot barley to taste like, not bad, but not really….flavoured at all. Not that it mattered. Not that any of it mattered since it was getting down to ACTUALLY seeing the show.

A few minutes of nervously waiting outside the theatre passed and Miya opted to take another swing around the building again. We take some photos out of the windows at the now, very night time, Tokyo and then literally walk around the building. When we return, the doors have opened to go upstairs. We take the escalator, show our tickets, and are allowed into a room with posters advertising the program, a tv screen showing the currently static stage, the merchandise booth, and the many, many cosplayers for the evening. (While we had been waiting, I had looked up to one of the upper levels and very, very briefly mistaken one of the cosplayers for John.)

I bought the merchandise for myself and for Risa, Miya bought a program for herself, and then we went to find our seats. Our SECOND ROW seats.

They were playing Love Will Keep Us Together as we sat down and I was trying not to completely freak out since it’s one of the songs mentioned in the script! And then immediately after, Young Americans by David Bowie. Another song referenced in the script!! When they played Lust for Life by Iggy Pop, I figured the show would be starting since it was traditional that Iggy was usually the last artist played before the show started. In Japan, it wasn’t. Light My Fire by The Doors was.

And the show started with Ataru coming from one of the side doors and announcing “Ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not, Hedwig!!! Hed-wig! Hed-wig! Hed-wig!” getting the audience to cheer and chant for Hedwig, clapping for her arrival into the venue. I was turned, looking at Ataru, clapping of course, chanting for Hedwig’s arrival when the show started.

On Broadway, Hedwig had descended from the ceiling; Off-Broadway, she had come from the back of the venue, sauntering up to the stage…. but here, here Hedwig was standing behind the screen projecting an image of the Berlin Wall with graffiti on the Western side and stark nothing on the East. As the audience chants, the wall develops cracks in the middle, eventually exploding from the middle with Hedwig standing triumphant, beautiful…. in the sudden divide between East and West. I… had been looking in the wrong direction.

I whipped my head back towards the stage so quickly you’d have developed second-hand whiplash watching me.

Part of the performance, I’m watching the show completely amazed that this is happening, that this is real. That I’m actually in the same room as my favourite show being performed. I’m not sure I blinked the entire time I was watching the show. The other part of the performance, the part that features Yitzhak more than Hedwig, I’m still looking at John, looking to see how he is reacting to Yitzhak as Hedwig or simply being Hedwig without speaking and without making grand movements at that point. Mostly just…. being. To me, it’s fascinating, being in the second row. Being able to see all of the little reactions, expressions, costume alterations behind semi-opaque screens. In a way, it’s like a “How It’s Made” of my favourite show. Sometimes, during these moments I feel like I should probably actually be watching Yitzhak since she’s the one driving the action at that point….

The show was staged completely different from any version of Hedwig I’d ever seen before with new lines, new alterations to the script and to the format. For the first time since the movie, I’m seeing a production that doesn’t either actually have Emily Hubbly’s drawings or someone imitating her style. The design of the animations is specifically more Japanese than the other versions, which of course makes sense being as the show is set in Japan.

The show was also basically a public dress rehearsal; something that annoyed some of the people on Twitter later (apparently), but I found completely wonderful. Again, this is a show that I know so well that I can follow international versions where I don’t speak the language just based off of intuiting a few words, of course I want to see a messier version of the show. A less polished version in terms of performance. My two favourite differences that weren’t in the script were 1.) where Hedwig is talking about masturbating Tommy in the bath and her wig completely popped off. She looked very surprised for a moment before picking up her wig and continuing perfectly. And 2.) the line change that Hedwig had in Wicked Little Town Reprise? She sang it so confidently for being the absolute wrong lyrics…. And of course, a million other little improv things stood out, like Hedwig calling Yitzhak her “oto” and then asking “what’s the other one again? [Yitzhak supplies word] Oh that’s right.” And the golden Hello Kitty patch on her ass (up towards her hip more than centered like the handprints were on Broadway.)

At the end of the show, I felt like I had probably smiled through 90% of the show it was performed so well. John, of course was amazing. And Ataru was completely incredible. I had anticipated loving her from the things that I had seen of her on YouTube and she blew away any expectations that I had had of her, she was so good.

Afterwards, as Miya and I walked out of the venue, she asked what I wanted to get for dinner/snack after the show. I said I didn’t care; wherever she wanted was fine because I had literally just had one of the best experiences of my life.

We opted to go back to the sushi restaurant, this time actually sitting at the bar/lunch counter. She ordered some a la carte sushi this time, I took more things off of the sushi conveyor belt. Since we had seen the show now, we were technically entitled to more free drinks. I opted to go for a not-free option of cold sake and Miya had…. I think iced tea? Maybe more matcha.

Honestly, cold sake tastes exactly like hot sake, but just a little bit smoother. While I liked the smoothness of it, I think the hotness of the hot sake helped it out a little bit more. I definitely would not drink sake on a regular basis, but it is interesting to me to see how that strong of a taste when blended into a sauce for Chinese food is completely minimized outside of an afterburn when you swallow. Miya had a sip or two of it too and I don’t think she was all that impressed with it either. I accidentally knocked over my glass at one point, getting the menu and the counter wet and sake-covered. I think the waiter thought I was drunk, but truly, I was just that clumsy.

While we ate, I searched for that one video I had remembered John posting about being worried about a lot of serious things and then his ass. I thought it would be a good idea to say “I don’t know about the other things, but your ass looked amazing from the second row!” I swear to you, I came up with that before I even thought about ordering the sake.

We paid and left both the restaurant and the Hikarie. I was feeling very optimistic. And a little sleepy.

The journey back went very smoothly and unlike the previous night, we did not stop at the 7/11 before going back to Miya’s.

Back at her apartment, I flipped through my own copy of the program by cell phone flashlight before falling asleep. Only a few Instagram posts by John of various backstage photos and rehearsal video keeping me awake.

Vixx As Boyfriends!!!

[HAKYEON] - romantic pickup lines that makes you melt - teasing you 24/7 - even if you’re in a crowd with many people, he only sees you, and only you - overprotective, he makes sure that you eat well, don’t diet in a wrong way, and sleep well - and if you can’t sleep he will come to your room and whisper some sweet and romantic things to you saying I love you so much what did I do to deserve you// sleep well sleep tight dream of me you cute little one till you fall asleep - also would protect you from builes but using words instead of actions - surprise kisses, mostly on the forehead and lips - if hakyeon catches you talking to any boys even if there’s no intention of cheating on him tHAT BOY IS SO GOING TO GET IT - ^makes sure that he’s around if u’re surrounded by guys - when u’re cold, he will give you a warm embrace and kisses your cheek and say “you silly girl, bring more clothes to a cold country like this! Look, your cheeks are all red because of the cold!!” And what he did makes you so warm - he will bring you to school everyday, and when the girls asked you who’s that hot guy that fetches you to school and before you can talk he kisses your cheek and told them ure his girlfriend making the girls go cRAZY - he makes breakfast for you almost every morning, no matter how nasty it tasted sometimes, you will say it’s nice -you came back home after a few days (camp maybe?) and you went to his room and saw him murmuring some words as he sleeps - as you went closer and he was saying “ahh..I miss y/n so much..y/n when are you coming back? Is she hanging out with other guys?? Is she..” - and he started snoring, you stroked his soft hair as you whispered “I’m here..I’m back…sleep well hak, don’t worry about me” As you kissed his forehead a.k.a the place he loves to kiss you at - he woke up @ the sense of your touch and the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was you, his beloved girlfriend -he carassed your cheeks and planted kisses all over it, and then hugging you and telling how much he loves you and how much he misses you when u’re not with him and that he has so much thoughts on his head thinking if u’re going to hang out with other guys that’s not him. - and you told him you miss him so much too, and both of you proceeded with a kiss with both of his hands cupping your face and your hands wrapped around his neck

[Taekwoon] - a very, very quiet boyfriend - mostly shows his affection through actions - rarely talks, but cuddles with you under a soft blanket as your face buries into his warm chest and sings for you in his husky voice till you fall asleep - he will usually tell you his problems comfortably, without worrying you will spread it because he trusts you the most - when he comes back with ridiculously high grades, you will praise him so much till he covers his face and start hiding in the corner because he got shy - before dating you, he writes sad songs about heartbreak and unsuccessful relationships, but after he dated you, he wrote so many happy songs dedicated to you about how love makes him happy - once you can’t find him anywhere and you thought he ran, you thought he left you and you got so scared, you walked to your cupboard containing your clothes(to change and find him) and when you opened it you see Taekwoon munching the snacks you brought in a corner and you were like “JUNG TAEKWOON!! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP STEALING MY SNACKS TT.TT” but you saw him eating your snacks in such a cute way, ressembling a hungry baby hamster you just…let him be - when you reached college, you have to stay in the dorm in school for awhile. During that time, he sent you alot of letters and you decided to read them when everybody was sleeping.

“ dear y/n, You may find other guys that is better than me in there,you may find a guy that talks more than me and that you probably prefer that kind of affection than expressing love through actions,you may find a guy that stops stealing your snacks 24/7 and hiding in a corner of your room to eat,but I just wanna say I will always love you even if you find another guy.. because nobody can ever replace my heart other than you” Tears started rolling down your cheeks the moment you reached the end of the letter

“ silly boy, why would I leave you? Emotional boy… He must have written too many sad songs when I’m not around with him”

[jaehwan] • had asked you out through singing a song • pet names • a lot of pet names • “baby” “honey” “babe” • he initiates all the pda • he always lends you his clothes especially his hoodie • because he thinks you look really cute in oversized sweaters • personal serenades • every night when you cant sleep he sings for you • every time you feel down he sings for you • basically he sings very very very often to you • not that you mind, aft all it sounds like an angel calling you • dates with him would be so intimate • he’d make something simple like preparing breakfast into a game or something • making pancakes??? lmfao no more like FLOUR FIGHT • oh look now you both look like ghosts cause of all that flour • and then he makes you clean up the mess • but hes a softie so in the end he still cleans it up with you • will bug you to get a pet to keep together itll probably be a fluffy animal like a dog or a rabbit • but he’ll insist on naming it peter or something • xbox at midnight together with a bowl of popcorn • that he might have acidentally tipped over cause he was so agitated playing some racing game • also will not stop playing until he beats you • you eventually let him win because you were tired and he wasnt gonna let you stop until you did so • a m e s s • unless youre physically together, you’ll never not get a text from him in 24 hours • long messages with cute typos, a lot of emoticons and A LOT of ♡s • can literally SENSE when youre having a bad day and goes out of his way to cheer you up • animal impression contests between the two of you!!! • and you also always have high note battles with him even when you know youre gonna lose • your dates are never too extravagant and over the top • he focuses more on making you feel comfortable around him than bringing you to expensive places • lots of selcas • lots of aegyo • overall really sweet and youll never have a dull moment with him

[Ravi] • ngl sometimes you’d feel neglected because hes so focussed on his work • but he senses that and immediately makes it up • by immediately i mean after he finishes this song he just started working on • and by makes it up i mean smooches a lot of smooches physical contact • he’ll never pay you lip service, just lips • no one is allowed in his workplace unless its you so i guess thats kind of fair • altho you do choose not to disturb him since you know how hed rather be alone when working • but on the few instances you do you get spoilers for any upcoming tracks he was working on • and youd chuckle a bit everytime he plays you a guide version of his song that he recorded • because his husky voice singing the guide for girl group song cant not be funny • oh and the dog • butt • you two treat it like your child • he finds it hard to express “i love you” in words to you • and for some reason can only do that through songs • yes he composes songs with you as his muse • prob gets jaehwan to sing the guide instead so you wont laugh • he learnt that the hard way because,,it was supposed to be a serious song when he played a song to you but you ended up laughing when he couldnt reach a higher note • you werent mocking him you just found it really cute • really cute that he tries so hard to make up for all the lack of attention he gave you when he worked • there were days youd enter his workplace and see him just kinda passed out on his desk • no he didnt faint he fell asleep • oh the poor thing working so hard • and so you just kinda look at him and smile • he looked so vulnerable and innocent you couldnt believe it was the same guy in the day • but all dem royalties he earns tho • he easily splurges all those extra cash on you • fancy dinners and buying you stunning gifts • he never really had to say it but you could feel his sincerity in his love • not the most romantic guy but hey hes trying and you appreciate that

[hongbin] - handsome flower boy, all the girls were so envious of you dating such a boy like him - very awkward, he took a long time to tell you he likes you because he’s shy to express his feelings for you - whenever u’re sad, he will always be there telling his dark pasts and doing sets of cringey aegyos to make you laugh - constant teasing that made you so annoyed at the same time entertained - when fruits are served he will be so happy and that when you tried to take one fruit from his plate he will be like “NO THEY ARE MINE!!!” In such a childish manner - but after that he will feed you with those fruits because he loves you so much - he will bring a actual camera when he’s going out with you. He will usually take photos of you without you knowing and you ask him “why are you taking unglam photos of me? I surely look ugly in these photos..” And he kissed your forehead and then telling you that don’t have to worry at the fact you look ugly in these photos because you’re always beautiful - he always wants you to challenge him in overwatch, and that when you say that you will definitely win him, he said “babe, u’re talking to a person that is ranked 7th in the whole world for the character Hanzo” And that when u’re almost gonna win him, he will take away your control and youre like “HEY!! THIS IS CALLED CHEATING!!” and you tried taking the control back from him - but he accidentally fell on you and he was like on top on you and u’re at the bottom(let’s say you both played the game in the living room hence y'all sat on the sofa and played the game). Your heart was beating so fast and you closed your eyes tightly think that he will do something to you. he went closer to you, and he will push your hair behind your ears with his delicate fingers as he whispered

“I love you”

[Hyuk] • omf how does he just turn from that manliness to a baby in like 0.7262 seconds • literally one second he has his hair up and gelled and hes being a gentleman and all • and the next moment his smile just appears and melts all of that manliness away and you just want to protect him??? • but you know in reality hes the one whod protect you because LOOK AT THOSE ARMS • childish fights over the tv remote • and he’d make that high pitch scream when you try to snatch it away and things dont go his way • and the scream scared you so youd let go of the remote • and thus you admit defeat and be forced to watch naruto • it kinda gets rubbed onto you and before you know it youve become an avid viewer of naruto too • hes proud that he influenced you • and on your dates oh my god the forehead • he styles his hair up and reveals the glorious forehead • and he pulls out the chair for you • or at least you _thought_ he was gonna pull it out for you hahah jk nop he sits on the chair • and you look at him like,,, wthyuk man • then he just stares at you like,,,,, what are you waiting for go sit down • have i mentioned that you now like justin bieber too because he blasts his songs everywhere • also ocassionally hits ravi up on helping to compose a song for you • and he wont play the track for you • he’ll sing it live in front of you with the piano and all • aw what a sweetheart • teaches you how to play overwatch • will use the chance to wrap his arms around you to guide you on using the mouse • but i mean he only taught you how to play it so that he can trash you at it and feel good about it • ice cream dates!! • literally you two could be walking down the street and he’d disappear for 0.01727 seconds and return with two ice cream cones • and like in all those romantic shows - you’d have a bit of ice cream at the corner of your mouth • but instead of using his finger to wipe it off he uses it as an excuse to kiss you but he licks the ice cream as well • and afterward he flushes really red and that just makes him cuter • because hes so tall he’d purposely tip toe to tease you so you cant kiss him • but also bends down loads for that lip kiss • and his chest has got to be the absolute best place to ever bury your face in • its so warm and when he embraces you like that you feel so protected and safe • would be the type to splurge on you unnecessarily because he feels like he doesnt do enough for you • when in reality he does • definition of protective boyfriend • like what,,,, do you think those arms are for display only • the other members treat you like a god • because they know if they dont hahah theyll end up like leo in that vixxtv episode (ep 72??)

(Side note: hi!!! This is our first post and we didn’t really have a legit intro but I’m chrissia and the other child in here is Janelle! I did Hakyeon, Taekwoon and hongbin and Janelle did Jaehwan Ravi and Hyuk!!) (yes hi im janelle HAHAH you can tell the difc i guess i use •s and chrissia uses -s so yeah thats cool)

When the Future comes today ll

Hi at all Its part two of the story My English is really wors so sorry for the errors 😆 Have fun XXX Chris Part l ends when Chat viset Mari on her balcony. MY DA🐾🐾 KITTY “ Hey Chat” says Tikki and flew around his head. “ Nice to see you again Tikki” and smils at her, suddnly he realized thet he was stil holdig her hand. The looked intro each others eyes. He rubbed his neck. She take her hand back “Chat did anything happen?” ask she “ No, I just wanted to see you” “I’m fine you don't has to be worry about me.” Says she stuttered and her cheek were red. Chat smiles to her and stood beside her. “What I've just heard, you blush when you think about the model guy?”he wiggled with his eyebrows she sighed “ His Name is Adrien and not model guy. We’re classmates and he his a friend, not more” He grinned at her “ Wait wasn't it the Vulpina Gay too?” She grimack Why he still remeber it she tried to see Paris at night, a side view says her Cat was still look at her, his grinnd becams bigger “ Yes, it was the same Guy” she was still lookig straight, when he stabbed her “ So you like him” She gave him no answer. He turnend around and stood back, he wanted see her face expression ” Or do you want to tell me you've give your Miraculous for everyoe up, cause Princess i remember many situations wiht Chloe..” “ Shut up, stupid Chat” hissed she, put her face in her hands. She felt embarressd and he knows it, but he want to know what she relly felt for his other identety. He gestured at her "Oh lord why are you so interested? I don’t tell him, that i'm Ladybug. So don't worry, I even didn’t tell it you” he looked her surpise “ Why did you change your mind” she she smiles sad“ you're the only one that know Ladybug good enoug, you would noticed the difference to someone new, so i didn't want you, to be worry about the change” She looks so sad at him. He wish he could take her sadness away,like she it often did with him “When did it start?” aske he “ Hmm, since a few month, first i was just more tired then usually, but then start the pain” she touches her breast “ sometimes it feels like my heart is going to tear to pieces , sometimes i pass out” she said so quaietly that he could feel her pain. “ Can i aske you somthing” he tyed to change the subjekt“ sure” says she dismantling “ Why didn’t you invite the Modle guy to the Cinema or don’t go Models in a cinema?” she sighn “ okey first, it mostly ends in a chaos when i only try to speake with him and his much more then a Modle” she looks at Chat “ don't tell me his an Actor too” he said that amused, but he dosn't was prepared for her answer “He is nice to all, attentive for eveything, sensetive for the problems form other, although he dosen't have it easy either and if he could, he would make everyone happy. He is someone really specel for me Chat” Her cheek were red, she put her hands under her chin and lookt moony when she told him that " he’s eyes remember me alays on..“ he blushed too, he was surprised to hear what she think about him. “let me guess, Emeralds” “No, at yours” she looks in his eyes silence lay down. It was the first time that she tell that someone else, not even Alya knew that “So Baggaboo” she try to looked him angrily “ "Do like the guy? So under Partner” he wink at her, she roll her eyes “Yes” His heart made a jump “ I mean you really like him so with dating and the other stuff” she bekams red “Yes” He couldn't belive what he heard, she likes him, he put his eyebrows together ” How much is realy like in your eyes?” ask he it could be that he unterstand her wrong. “More then he likes me” whispered she ashamed. He looks surprised at Marinette, she was looking up to the stars. “ I hear that he had a crush for Ladybug why do yo don’t tell him all ” stuttered he quiet, She stared at him and sighed “ This don't change anythnig Chat. It would be to dangerous for him and i want somone that likes me even though i'm ladybug and not only for that” he looked her amazent “You're incredible Princess” She smiled sed “ Thers people who would say im stupid, but so its better for him, whene he don’t know the truth. Apart from the obvious....”. Suddenly he just wanted to be with her, he decided to tell her everythig “ Marinette I'm..wait” he raised his hands like he wuold say Stop “What means apart from the obvious?” she looks at him unnerved “ I'm really not in his liga Kitty under the mask i just this rush, carelesses girl and the worst thing you know Chat i'm clumsy, he would always have to save me and that for myself. You really deseve someone how is better at this then me as your Partner ” he put his eyesbrows together, he want tell her how amezing and beautyful she is, but Chat was the really wrong Person for that, he smiles about his plan “You are so much more and im glad to have you as my partnern“ says he touch her sholder “you’re quiet cold, you should go inn” says he “ No, im fine “ she want stay with him “ Then get a blanket I' ll wait “ Marinette went in her room and take the blanket, she knows his expression he was planing somthing. She shrugged, it was nice to talking with Chat she feel better when he was around, so she went out again, but Chat was disappeared. She look sad araond. Suddenly she saw a black Kwami flaying to her. She held out her hand and the Kwami sit there, he looks cute a little cat with his green eyes Oh Lord that is Chats Kwami she looked around worried “It’s all okey with him sweety, he just whant to tell you who he really is“ told her the Kwami “ Hi, I' m Plagg. The Kwami from a guy who s quayet shy now”he turn around and Marinette giggled “hi Plagg im Marinette and this is” she can't finished the answer Tikki cames and hugged him already “Plagg I've miss you so much” “ Me too sweetheart” he givs her a kiss. Marinette looks surprised ,” Hey Kid do you come or i have to get you?” says he “Plagg” hissed he. Then she saws Adrien, her eyes grew bigger he come to her and stretched out his hands. Marinette look in his eyes, she take his hands. Both Kwami giggle " I fell asleep isen't it?” Adrien smiles at her “ No, you don't sleep Mari. I’m here and i'm Chat” “I.. I Are you sure?” stuttered she and bekam red, she turned frantically around this can't be true she taks a side view Adrien has just sat in the bench, he took the blanket. Plagg whistle “ And i thought you were shy” “Plagg “ Tikki looks angrey to him “Perhaps its too much for one day” says she. Adrien looked at her worried and would make a stap to her. She lifted the hands up and start move around. ”To much for me? for onley one day?” aske she “ When I got up this moning I thought i was going to die, and i feel fine with that. I go to school and kick that damm Akuma in his butt. It was like every damm day since tow years for me” her face blushed “And now? I hed to passing a surpris examinations that will decide my future and know it will end in a mess. I am embarressed, because I talk to my Partner about the awsome guy that a like without knowing that he is that guy. Why i can't be a normel girl with normel problems. This damm Kitty” she hiden her face “ Thats a great mess like always” she heard a giggle from the bench, Adrien and both Kwamis where waching her the hole time “First oft all, you should sit down Master Fu says you have to reast , twice it's great that we haven’t any secrets more between us” his eyes were shaining, she stood there looking at him. Sighed he sit next to him down. Tikki hugged her face “ erything will go well I promised” says Tikki “yes, sometimes your clumsy Bagaboo, but you’re also brave and amazing” he prpared the blanker over them and take her hand. “I can assure you as your damm kitty, I'll be there to catch you no matter what happens” he was serious and she can feel it but “ and If i'm not Ladybug ,whene it was all just a joke, a trap to know you identedi?” he looks into her eyes “ I wouldn't care, I belive so” he put his eyesbrow together like Chat it does. “ The first time i saw Ladybug she pulled me into a spell, she was so impressive to me, she didn’t had fear“ he bekame slowley red “ but the first time i talk to you, let my heart beart faster and you surprise me always anew” now he was red “ okey it's really a dream” He couldn’t like her Or did he realy liks me? She was confused he looked at her and smiles “ What would you do if it really was a dream?” asked he intersted. He noticed how she came closer and put her arms around his neck at the next moment she kissed him. Her lips were very soft on his, he put his arms around herand take her closer . She put her forehead to his as she loosened their lips “ Thak you for all Kitty, i really wish that all where true” says she and put her head on his sholder. His surprised face and the laught oft his Kwami was the last thing she could remember about the dream. She wake up happy ”oh Tikki i had the most beautiful dream” “ Wait.. Ah Marinette whats happened in the dream exactly?” “ You, meet an other Kwami, it was like you know him well” she brushes her hair and lookt at the mirro “hmm to day i wear the hair openly” Marinette look to Tikki she made a linked face “what's wrong Tikki?” “I've got bad newes for you Mari” “Marinette you visited” called her Mother. She went the stairs down “It wasn't a dream” piped Tikki “for sure ?” “the kwami was call Plagg and belongs to” she stopped abruptly. “ Adrien whats “ I hop you had fun Part lll will come soon