I don't know who needs to hear this, but it is not normal to get so angry at being mildly inconvenienced at the store that you literally start to visibly shake.

It's also not normal to react to said mild inconvenience by throwing your items or money into the floor or at the cashier.

it just struck me how my queerness is essentially just me going "hmmm... nah <3"

open letters to various customers i've had

to all the visibly trans/gnc customers/anyone going for the "most fuckable person in the grocery store" look: hiiiiiiiii i love you i love you i love you i love you, yall make my job worth doing and my life worth living thank you for existing

to every customer i went to high school with: don't fucking look at me (unless youre gay now)

to the customers who put literally everything in produce bags: stop fucking doing that shit. youre just making my life harder. those granola bars are individually wrapped in plastic and in a fully sealed cardboard box. why do you do this to me.

to the guy who came in today asking where the "cooking water" was: wtf dude

love, me, a cashier at a grocery store in my hometown

Ocd trying to convince me I hit a cyclist this morning on the way to work because I had to pass them on a curve w/ oncoming traffic and it got a lil dicey (dicey by my grandma ass driving standards, most ppl in this clown city where ppl drive like it's a PvP zone wouldn't think twice)

I DID NOT hit anyone it's literally down the street from my work, so even IF for whatever reason I accidentially committed a hit and run I would've heard sirens by now. But like. The devil may work hard my OCD works harder TRULY

the weirdest part of the fnaf movie is the marketing presence made it so i had to hear people i never wanted to hear talk about fnaf talk about fnaf

it is so utterly insane to me the way i've had this like fundamental shift in my personality since i started therapy, started medication, and graduated college. i used to be so shy and quiet and awkward. it used to take me years of everyday interaction to begin to feel any sense of real friendship with anyone, and the idea of public speaking or small talk with strangers etc was enough to have me trembling and shaking

and now like. i'm doing public speaking. i'm doing small talk with strangers. at michaels i'm actually having conversations with customers whenever the mood hits because i like actually enjoy talking to people now? even if it's just small talk it's just nice to like, have a nice friendly conversation? if i need to confront someone now, for whatever reason, whether it's to ask a question or to politely ask them not to do something, nowadays i can actually do it, instead of being the living epitome of the coward end of the "he asked for no pickles" meme. now I'M the person saying "he asked for no pickles." i'm the one that my more shy coworkers turn to when the time comes. I'M the person being shoved at the shy coworkers to chat them up and get them to be more outgoing. I'M the one guiding the conversation asking questions and keeping people talking trying to get them to open up. literally never imagined myself like this

having to ask a good place how much longer for ur food is the worst feeling like hey im one of the three people in ur entire restaurant where is the food i ordered

Wordcount of the day: 518

I can feel this prompt is nearing completion! One more to go after this, and I've already started on the rewrite (which makes it draft 3, since the other 2 were when I trying to force myself through my writer's block).

I am feeling a little disappointed in myself, because my autism isn’t compatible with Going Shopping, and thus I’m always suffering from needing to buy things (food, clothes, bedding, medicine)

But the other day I went to a new doctor, and it DIDN’T overwhelm me. Why? The lights were dimmed everywhere except a warm-colored light over the receptionist’s area. The only sound was an almost-muted TV. There were a lot of people in the waiting room but there was enough space to let everyone sit 6+ feet from each other.

All the walls and furniture were darker colors, and soft sunlight filtered in through the windows, and it was quiet and calm.

I take a lot of comfort knowing that the world can be easier to navigate when accommodations are made.

I require help, whatever little you can donate would be greatly appreciated ahead of time, and I would be deeply grateful for it for all time.

Thank you in advance.

im like Stuck between completing like intimate fluff or yet another set of like the most stupid fucking avpol comics known to man and with those two yknow One Isnt Exactly Ever Far Off From The Other but still

personal post time

World's most obvious thief spotted at the store I worked at today. I was just doing my usual thing of looking around the store once all my customers clear out to see if anyone else is nearby that looks like they might be coming up, not because I care about catching theft, but because I want to know how much free time I have to do literally anything else (like check my phone or stock cigarettes.)

Immediately saw this dude standing in front of the grab and goes staring directly at me in the "checking to make sure they haven't spotted me" kind of way. I looked at him, then looked away because eye contact bad, and every time I glanced back over he would look up at me in the most obvious I Am Doing Something Wrong Please Don't Notice type of way possible.

When he eventually came to check out, he was not holding the tacos I saw him grab and wander off with, but while he was walking away after paying for his drinks, I could clearly see the foil sticking out of his pockets. Like dude. Come on. If you're gonna steal can you at least be good at it.

sometimes I feel low functioning

i feel like im gonna wind up sayin yes to being a manager but atm im still like. So hesitant. but i know myself and i probably will eventually wind up saying yes

Why, when I’m ready to go and feeling confident and wanting to meet someone, do I lose all of my ability to attract another human person, but when I’m just trying get groceries at 8pm looking like I haven’t seen the sun in years and generally extremely tired and unsexy - why do people try it with me?? Why then! Why now! I am Unprepared! I need to get this milk home so it doesn’t spoil! Your lips are kissable but I am so hungry! My guard was down, damn it!