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#that I’m capable of a lot of stuff and that I could really improve things

merchelsea · 8 months

Text

private support- george russell

pairing: george russell x fem! model! reader

summary: you are constantly fighting george’s haters on interviews and socials, but when you need him to do the same, he doesn’t.

author’s note: my first time writing angst, please give me some tips to improve!! and i’m actually taking requests now, so if you have any, let me know!

word count: 2k+ (not counted properly)

warnings: angst, fighting, miscommunication, racism accusations, silence treatment, confused reader.

your mind snapped back to reality as your hairstylist, who also happened to be your best friend, playfully snapped her fingers in front of your face.

"what are you thinking about?" she asked, her voice filled with curiosity and concern as she stood before you, demanding an answer.

"nothing," you quickly shot back, though the truth was quite the opposite. you had been mulling over everything that had transpired in the past week.

a false accusation of racism had been circulating on the internet, and it had been so well-constructed that people started believing you were capable of such a thing.

it was frustrating that almost no one believed you, but it was even more frustrating that you couldn't deny it. this whole scandal had brought up an unwanted spotlight, and you were obligated to follow a contract, which meant that, if they were to push you under the bus because they'd benefit from it, they could. and that is exactly what they did.

you felt anger and disappointment toward those you worked with daily, as you never thought they would betray you in such a way. in response, you had pulled all available strings and taken legal action to clear your name. while you had managed to set the record straight publicly through the legal process, it did little to ease the weight on your mind.

"that’s bullshit, you have been watching that tiktok for 15 minutes." your friend quipped, redirecting your attention to your phone, which had been playing the same vogue advertisement repeatedly. "so, what's on your mind?"

you sighed, contemplating the flood of thoughts but reluctant to discuss them. "a lot of stuff, but I really don't want to talk about it." your friend took a deep breath and reluctantly accepted your reluctance. "fine," she conceded. as much as she could try to hide it, you knew her, and realized she wasn't happy about it. "don't get mad."

"I’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you never talk with me about this stuff." you furrowed your brows as she moved to hold your hair from behind, starting to curl it again. "I mean, I’m supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to talk with me."

"it's about george," you exhaled as she began working on your hair, curling it once more. "what did he do?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. "you guys never fight."

"he didn’t do anything, that’s the problem." you explained, feeling the heat of anger dissipate. the woman behind you turned your chair to face her, and you knew it was time to open up about it.

"what happened, babe?" she asked, pulling over a bench and sitting down. it was clear that she recognized the importance of the conversation.

you silently wondered about what to say for minutes, because even tho it was something really clear in your mind, you had no idea of how to put it into words.

she grew impatient in front of you, drumming her fingers in the bench she was sat in, waiting for you to break.

"he still hasn't said anything about this. he talked to me, told me he knew I could never do such a thing," you began, picking up a makeup pencil to occupy your hands. "but people asked him in interviews, and he didn't even deny it. he would just say hat he wouldn't comment on it."

You felt a mix of emotions, ranging from sadness to disappointment. You had always defended George in similar situations, in interviews, instagram stories, fighting people on twitter. in every way you could.

unintentionally, you expected him to do the same for you when the time came. but it came and he didn't. you couldn't really blame him because you never even talked to him about it, he had no way of knowing, but you did, you blamed him.

you blamed him and you felt awful for that. it was all an endless circle of guilt and shame that you were trying to run of. confused, stressed, attacked. how could someone be fine while feeling all of that?

questions lingered in your brain as your best friend talked to you, trying to help you in the better way she could. besides all of the mess, she was the one thing you were sure off, she was your rock, stabling you through the storm.

posting that video and coming clean about the situation had been a good step, but it hadn't eased the stabbing pain in your chest.

coming home to him was harder than ever. you had ignored his calls and every single one of his attempts to contact you. it was childish of you, and you were aware, but you just couldn't help it.

anyways, things had to be said.

as you entered the room, you found george lying on the couch in his mercedes shirt. he smiled when he saw you, relieved that you had come. he thought you wouldn't come, that caused by the three days left on read and the 14 missed calls.

seeing you was a relief for him. he immediately got up and walked to you, but you denied his attempt to touch your face. the smile on his face disappeared as fast as it came on.

"hey, what happened?" he attempted to caress your cheek, but you pulled away his arm. "what did I do?" his confused and saddened gaze filled you with regret and you realized what you were doing.

you weren't being fair.

"I'm sorry. I just—" you began, stepping back. his reaction made you realize that you needed to communicate openly. "I need to talk to you," you said, and george nodded, ready to listen. he looked genuinely terrified as you refused his touch, not understanding what he had done wrong.

"okay... hm. lets sit down." he suggested, trying to make it as comfortable as he could for you.

you both moved to the couch, sitting on opposite ends. george looked you in the eye, waiting for you to speak.

"so, you know about that racism accusation, right?"george nodded, not daring to speak. "I'm kind of upset about it."

"well that's understandable, yo-"

"george," you interrupted, wanting to clarify your point. "I'm not really worried about the accusation itself right now. you haven't said anything about it yet." the brit furrowed his brows.

"what? I told you exactly what I thought that same night. you could never do such thing and I know that very well." you sighed, annoyed again. it was difficult to try and see things from his perspective, but the truth is that you weren't explaining him things clearly.

"that's not what I mean. you've talked about it with me, but you never did on public. you never said that 'i could never do such thing' to anyone else." his eyes fall on you again, softened this time.

"oh." it lingers in the air for quite some time as he gets ahold of his thoughts and you grow inpatient. "I'm sorry about that. I never thought you wanted to." some other words danced on the tip of his tongue. he contained himself, but he could've easily ended this argument.

"you never thought? how's that?" you offendedly ask. how could you not want your boyfriend to have your back?

"well, once you told me you didn't like the thought of being seen as dependent of me. that you wanted to be seen as an independent and strong woman. I respected, and still respect that." you recalled saying this after a long night in monaco. deep conversations had become a regular occurrence between you two after his race weekends.

"it's not about depending on you; it's about you supporting me," you raised your voice, making it clear how upset you were. "I always do that for you, and it doesn't mean anything."

"yeah, because the media and society are twisted as fuck, and we both know that," george said, turning his body towards you, now more open to discussing the issue. "tell me that if it were me in your position, you wouldn't be labeled as a woman who needs her boyfriend to protect her. do you have any idea of how you would be talked about?"

you hated it when he was right, but he was right now. however, he seemed to miss your perspective on all of this.

"I wouldn't care. I would know you were by my side and I wouldn't care."

"your such a bad liar. you would care. you would and you will because I gave an interview like two days ago, talking about it." he sighs. "because even though I knew it wasn't what you would've wanted, I could not keep quite while you were going through all of that."

silence fills the room as you both just stare at each other. how could have you missed this? okay, you had been avoiding anything george related for the past days, but you would know. wouldn't you?

"of course that, I could've told you if you just picked up your damn phone." george got up and left for your bedroom before you had a chance to react. but he did exactly what you needed—he gave you some time to think, to process, and to feel guilty for treating him poorly when all he had done was thinking of you.

you took out your phone and searched his name on twitter. the first thing coming up being exactly what you were looking for.

"it's unacceptable. it's actually unacceptable that someone can do this and live their life in peace. that person screwed her over — her name, her work, everything she represents. yeah, no, I can not deal with this shit. I mean, she is the most admirable person in this earth and people who can't deal with other's happiness just keep trying to mess that up. they wont succeed, though. she is incredible enough to not let that happen." "george, does it bother you that it was a fan of yours who came up with this?" "fan? sorry but that can't be called a fan. that is just a jerk who tried to ruin someone's life. does it bother me that is the love of my life being attacked? a lot. it drives me crazy. as I said before, I can't deal with this. I honestly think it would be easier if I was the one being attacked. I just can't understand why someone would do this to her. she always does what's best for others, she supports everyone, is always out there in the world fighting other's fights and this is how she is payed? it's not fair, it's just not fair." "i have only one more question for you. why did it take you so long to speak about this? even your teammate, lewis hamilton, talked about this the day it came out, and you're only just now coming clean." "well obviously I wanted to talk about this from the moment I saw it. it took a lot of me to not start a war right there. but we all know how fucked up the world is and how she would've been talked about if I came straight to interviews. she probably will even get a few comments about me but I couldn't keep it in. if she is not allowed to speak, I'll speak for her. that's how we work. we love each other and we support each other." "uh, i'm sorry george. not allowed?" "thank you for having me."

his face displayed anger, and he seemed more than ready to start a war. you couldn't help but smile throughout the whole video, feeling grateful for the man you had by your side.

and then it hit you—you had been treating him horribly when he didn't deserve it. in fact, he deserved the opposite. so, you got up and went to apologize.

opening the bedroom door, you saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the door. he had been waiting for you.

"I'm sorry," you said as you moved closer. he pulled you close by the waist, hugging your body, and you caressed his hair.

" you need to talk to me," he murmured against your belly.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry," you said, taking his head in your hands and forcing him to look up at you. "I promise you that from now on, we'll discuss everything. I love you so much."

"I love you too. you know that, right?" you nodded your head with a big smile. if this had shown you something, was that he loved you.

"I know, and I'm sorry for cutting you off when things went bad. that was really shitty of me." you looked up, admitting your mistakes.

"never do that again, I got so afraid. I thought I had lost you."

"I'll never do it again. I promise." you stuck out your pinky and he took it. sealing the promise with a kiss on your enlaced fingers.

#george russell #george russel x reader #george russel imagine #george russel x you #george russell x reader #george russell imagine #george russell x you #george russell x y/n #f1 imagine #formula one #fem reader #f1 reader #formula one story #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #fem reader f1 #mercedes reader

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ddarker-dreams · 7 months

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Hi Lock~ I wanted to ask you abt how you got into literature, and how you’d maybe recommend someone else to start? I want to expand on my reading (and also you’ve hyped up Dostoevsky sooo much I’m hooked but I KNOW I’m not at that lvl yet haha) but there’s so many different sources and stuff idrk where to start. I have seen your list of recommendations and other people’s lists as well but Im never sure if they’re a good place if someone is just starting into literature; I’ve been really interested in Picture of Dorian Gray, Jane Eyre and Frankenstein right now, do you think they’d be okay? Did you look at books you knew you’d be into? Or did you try out smth new entirely? Also did you look at any sources online that you could recommend? I know I’ve asked a lot so you of course don’t have to answer them, but please let me know what you think!!

I also wanted to ask, as someone who’s read many classics in literature, in your opinion, how would you define literature? And what do you think makes a book a classic?

From a very clueless anon, hope you and bun bun have a great day and stay hydrated!!!!

hello anon!!! there are so many interesting questions here, i'll try answering them to the best of my abilities!!!!

(how i got into literature)

i'd been neglecting published works for most of my life because i just preferred fanfic way more. it wasn't until a bit into 2021 that i saw this Discourse Causing Post that 'you can't grow as an author if you don't read published works,' or something among those lines. i thought this was really interesting because i'd never given it much thought. around that point, even though writing was a hobby, i felt really motivated to improve. i normally spent no more than a day or two on a story before moving onto the next. which is fine, because fanfic writing is a hobby, but i felt i'd be capable of more if i put in the extra time and effort.

so basically i got into it because i wanted to write my silly little yandere fics better jdfklgjsdg

(recommendations for getting into literature)

i focused on the genre i thought i'd be the most interested in: horror. then i branched out from there. i looked up what people considered must-reads for the genre because i figured that'd be a good place to start. if you know what sort of genres you like, doing some research into its most prevalent/foundational works isn't a bad idea. that's the approach i took. authors throughout the centuries influence and inspire one another, i wanted to be able to map those connections out. this also helps give some context to older books with references that'd be loss on a modern audience.

(how i went about looking into books to see if i wanted to read them)

i research everything like my life's on the line, so i do look into books before i read them. i go for a synopsis that doesn't include spoilers and consider if that's a story i'd get invested in. if not, i'll read some reviews for fresh perspectives. if i'm still kinda meh by then, the book gets passed on.

(defining literature/classics)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH literary theory is not my field of expertise ... i'd personally define literature as any written work such as fiction and nonfiction. it can encompass so many things that defining it feels tricky. as for how i'd define a classic, all art is subjective or whatever, but there are stories that just have the It factor. whether that is their cultural impact, or works that are pillars to the genre(s) they were written in. you can see the ripples that it made after its publication.

finally, as for the books you listed (jane eyre, the picture of dorian gray, and frankenstein), i'd highly recommend them!!! all of them are apart of the gothic genre, which is one of my favorites. they've all stood the test of time for good reason.

#lock lore #answered #Anonymous

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hakubunii · 9 months

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HC for Baka Trio and Souji when their partners have trouble taking dick.

✨You know what? I’m actually so fucking glad you asked anon!! I also ended up adding general nsfw hcs to bc,if I’m anything, I’m someone who goes overboard! This ask had me giggling and throwing my phone down. Get ready bc this one’s kind of long, no pun intended.✨

Hakuouki Boys With a Partner Having Trouble “Taking It”

Heisuke- First off, he’s very flattered and it secretly gives him an ego boost that his partner is having a hard time getting him in there. It must mean his junk’s big, right? (Yeah, IK that this is not always the case.) But then he gets a little freaked out that he’s hurting them and wants to stop immediately. He’s, like, actually distraught that he even had the slightest chance of hurting his lovebug. It takes a lot of coaxing from his partner for him to even try to have sex with them again. The problem could be that he’s a bit inexperienced and is having a tough time himself putting it in rather than his partner taking it. Either way, he’s like “OMG, I’m horrible in bed and they will never want to sleep with me again”. If it’s a him thing and he gets the hang of it, the whole issue is completely forgot about because…well…he’s got other priorities once it’s in. As for the partner struggling to accept him, he gets really nervous about it and almost needs more coaxing to put it in than his loved one who’s taking it. He probably confides into one of his bros for advice, and honestly? I think he’s probably a very good listener and fast learner about this kind of thing so he might be more capable after that. He likes when his partner gives him instructions bc, in the end, it will make things better for them. He can definitely be gentle- I mean, one of his quotes is literally “I’ll be gentle with you…” or something. This happens a lot throughout the whole shabang but he kisses his partner all over and is very vocally appreciative of their efforts. He probably says stuff like (and oh lord this kind of thing flusters me lmao): “I love you so much!” “thank you!” “You’re doing so good!” “You’re so beautiful/pretty/hot/tight/warm/wet/ect” “you feel so good.” He also just kind of babbles incoherently, too enthralled with you to make any kind of sense at all. Bro’s loud and obvious when he’s going to town. He’s actually been scolded a few times for getting carried away and annoying everyone. He just gets so excited, he doesn’t know how to keep quiet. He’s the same way with leaving marks- it’s like he’s so into it, he doesn’t even realize he’s left like a million hickies on you. If you scold him, he’ll try to have some self restraint and this will naturally improve with time. Real big on “Do you need me to hold you’re hand?” If they seem like their struggling. Speaking of the aforementioned size thing, I think he’s like…probably above average, not gigantic or anything but enough for someone to be like “….huh, would you look at that. 😳” If his partner was also inexperienced, it might take them a while to fit him in. He’s also like a damn jackrabbit in bed- has lots of stamina and gets a “little” too excited and just starts going ape shit in you. His body just naturally wants to do things a bit faster and that kind of reflects in the bedroom. He kind of does everything in excess and is slightly impatient about sex- he’ll wait or take it slow but his body is like “for the love of God, let me freak out up in this bitch” and that’s hard for him to restrain himself. If you look at him and tell him to “go nuts” he will absolutely take that chance to. When this happens and he’s done with you, you’re kind of just sat up there in bed while he’s asleep, dumbfounded, covered in marks, hair destroyed, and probably full of his…you know. (For those who can get pregnant) You think to yourself “If I keep indulging him, I’m bound to be with child by next Spring.”

Shinpachi- Oh…..That’s not good. He almost doesn’t even notice until he glances down and realizes that he’s not even in there. It’s a little embarrassing for some reason. He’s still super chill about it, why would he be upset with you over such a thing when you allowed him to sleep with you. He’s very strong so he kind of just picks you up, bends you, or holds you in every which way, trying to figure out what position will help get it in there. He’s a big fan of taking it from behind or hoisting you up and taking you like that (reverse cowgirl in the air anyone?) He’s actually pretty reassuring about the whole thigh, understanding that this is something that happens and that he’s a big guy. He makes sure to bring something that will help him fit in you better next time you’re alone. He’ll probably start calling you little lady/Little guy- referring to your entrance. He does kind of brag about you having trouble accepting him inside of you but he’s also big on “kissing and telling” to his close friends, much to their dismay. Like his hair pulled. A big fan of when his partners fan the flames of his ego. He can get super rough and he makes note to stop certain behaviors if it’s too much for you. He’s pretty loud but will shut up for once if your on top riding him. He’s too mesmerized to say anything- he just stares at you, mouth open, and eyes wide. Hell pull you into him to sit on his lap a lot. HE HATES A MF SUIT but he’ll wear it with pride if you tell him he looks hot in it. Likes doing it drunk- or honestly any other time, he’s just extra thirsty when inebriated and will either send tons of intimate pictures or just can’t keep his hands off you. Like when you sit on his face, a lot…like he gets real sloppy doing it and you’re like “you slut…” Kind of likes partners a bit more chubby with a filler figure, likes the way it jiggles and how squeezable it is. Big fan of ass, tummy’s, and thighs. He’ll grope you in public if he thinks he can get away with it. Don’t bother wearing a sexy outfit for him, he’ll take one look at you and rip it off.

Sanosuke- I hope you like praise and affirmations! Also? It’ll take you by surprise but he’ll dirty talk you like a mf. Like, it’s almost too much and really gets you flustered. Really into being called Daddy in bed. He’s pretty considerate though and often will read you to figure out what things you like so he can use it to his advantage later. He’s pretty good at reading folks in general and will use that just to figure you out. He takes notes of things that flusters you or turns you on throughout the day- really determined to know what makes you tick.

As for the “trouble taking it” thing, he’s very calm about this, positioning you in different way, gently trying to get you to accept him. He figures it could be a number of reasons: his size, your angle, is it lubricated enough, are you excited enough, or even if you’re just a bit too nervous. He’s actually kind of an angel how patient he is about the whole thing. Instead of trying to force it in, he’s more concerned about going in when your body is ready. he’s dealt with this problem a few times and has a good amount of confidence to tackle it. Until you two can figure out this conundrum, he’ll please you in other ways. He has no qualms about just laying you down somewhere and focusing only on making you feel good. He’s got a mouth and hands, after all.This is why your little problem won’t last for long to be honest. Once he finally gets it partially in, he’ll be very deliberate and gentle about sliding the rest of himself deep in you. He’ll take notice in your discomfort and ask if you’d like to continue. If you say ‘yes’, he’ll instruct you to take deep breaths as he fills you completely, modeling them for you by going “Breath in, breath out”. It’s surprisingly soothing. He wants to make sure you feel calm and comfortable while the two of you make love and will hold your hand if that’s what it takes. He offers a lot of praise for how well you’re doing accepting him, how brave you are, what a good girl/boy/lover you are and how proud he is of you. It’s really hot too lmao. He knows he’s got it going on and uses his confidence in that to his advantage, playing your body like a fiddle.

He does NOT want to share you at all and is willing to beat the hell out of anyone who puts their hands on you. He trusts you and is confident in you but he still hates when men stare at you for too long. (This is for people who have babies) If you’re in the throngs of passion and happen to mention something along the lines of “Put a baby in me” “get me pregnant” or “Wait. You’re going to get me pregnant”, he will make absolute certain you’ll be carrying his baby in the next couple weeks.

Souji- Boy….He’s a tease. If you were having trouble accepting him, I think he might be a little alarmed at first. He’s pretty smart, so he’ll figure it out, but there’s just a few minutes where he’s perplexed and annoyed with himself. Despite how sexy and playful he can be, you’re surprised to discover that he doesn’t really have any experience. He might even have less experience with women in general than Heisuke. He hadn’t been interested in them before you- women or sex. He eventually gets it in there and lets out what almost sounds like a sigh of relief to you. He likes being touchy-feely with you, mostly enjoying when you were affectionate with him. He’s got an iron will so you can’t really tell if he’s close or not, not until he tells you at least. He actually prefers to use his hands with you anyhow. He teases you relentlessly. He loves making fun of the faces and sounds you make. He’ll probably bring it up long afterwords. He loves sneaking secret touches when he’s supposed to be focusing on daily tasks, sneaking a kiss when no one is looking, always touching you, his hand accidentally brushing the small of your back when he’s passing you. Calls you “little kitten” affectionately much to your dismay. He knows you like it. In modern AU, he’s constantly sending you scandalous pictures at inappropriate times. Really reallly leans into the cat theme, often getting you cat ears and various cosplays that he expects you to wear for him- sometimes asking if you’d wear them in public. You refuse. He almost becomes one of those discord mods. He adores taking pictures of you wherever you are: On the train, at school, the grocery store, sometimes while you’re doing it- actually a lot of the times you’re doing it. He just likes being able to look at you later. God help, anyone who scrolls too far in his gallery, they might actually be met with something unbecoming.

(now back to either modern or original time period) He’ll torture you with either nonstop orgasms or will edge you until you beg him to cum. He likes watching you squirm. You look cute when your begging, red faced, with tears rolling down your face. Saying all kinds of embarrassing, filthy things to you as he does so. He likes hearing you say his name, more so when your pleading. He’s a bit of a sadist in and out of the bedroom. As long as you’re overstimulated, he’s happy. Don’t worry though, he is a big fan of when you’re in control and take what’s yours too. Maybe even more so than when he’s tormenting you.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #harada sanosuke #heisuke toudou #nagakura shinpachi #okita souji #otome #toudou heisuke #hakubunii #hakubunii ask #ns/few headcannons

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goldeneyedgirl · 1 year

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Which Jalice fic, out of every single one you have ever wrote, would you consider The Slowest of Burns?

P.S. The photo you posted here, with the folders of your Jalice fics had me in CONVULSIONS. SO much goodness. And I have questions!!! What is Human Alice BFFs Vamp Jasper? What is Damaged Alice? What is Feral Alice? What is Dazzled Alice? Can I have samples or like, elaborate a little, please?

P.S. Also, Mad Girl’s Love Song SHOOK me. In a best way. I have no idea what is going on, but its WOW.

Ooof, slowest burn?

I think it has to be All These Broken Things, simply because of how much time passes in the fic, and how long it takes Jasper to realize that he's not only still in a bad place, but he's dragged Alice into his trauma and made it her problem too. And Alice takes her sweet time learning that she's allowed to advocate for herself, that she shouldn't be indebted to someone for loving her.

Mad Girl's Love Song is a really strange little fic and I'm really excited with the direction it's taking. I've left it to marinate and it's better for it. I'd love to have an ETA for it, but I don't because I know exactly how I want it to be when its done and I'd rather take my time.

As for the WIPs...

Human Alice BFFs Vamp Jasper: This is one where human Alice stumbles upon vampire Jasper brooding and through circumstances, become best friends. Alice is both critically ill and unlikely to live a long life, and is desperately in love with Jasper. Jasper is determined to keep Alice alive and protected.

I pulled out the old box from my closet - practically sagging, it was patterned with princess pictures and had been from one of my childhood birthdays, an old tutu on the very top. Perfect for disguising things I didn’t want to be seen by snooping mothers or sisters. The real contents of the box were two pairs of thoroughly worn-out jeans, a couple of ancient shirts, and a sweatshirt that had been hastily mended along with two well-thumbed philosophy books and a dented tin snuff box. Stuff that I had been stashing since I came home when I was thirteen.

Stuff that belonged to the dashing figure currently climbing in my bedroom window.

“Evening,” Jasper nodded at me, as he folded himself into my hanging chair.

I smiled at him, and put the box on the end of my bed, bouncing over to him; the bright red of his eyes revealed how he had occupied his day, and also indicated his mood - he was always a little withdrawn when he came over, but it was always the worst when he’d fed.

Luckily, we’d known each other for nearly four years, and I had gotten very good at improving his mood.

“About time,” I said, climbing onto his lap and curling up. “Mom’s out with her drinking buddies, and Cynthia has no intention of coming home tonight, so I’ve been very lonely.”

Jasper was still holding himself very stiffly, but one arm wrapped around my shoulders, cradling me to him. “They left you by yourself?” His disapproving tone of voice made me roll my eyes.

“I have been actively encouraging them to do so,” I looked up at him; he was avoiding my gaze. “I’m safe with you.”

He grunted at me and finally met my eyes. “They don’t know that. You don’t know that.”

I hoisted myself out of the chair and stared down at him. “I am fine. I have every alert device money can buy, and you are more than capable of calling 911 if it's bad.”

“Those devices do not pick up partial complex seizures,” he retorted, and I could see him start to relax.

“I knew you were reading up on it. And once again, it’s called a phone. Besides, is it wrong of me to want to spend an evening with you before our master plan goes into action?”

Jasper sighed, and leaned back. “This is a recipe for disaster,” he informed my ceiling.

“It’s my best idea in years,” I said cheerfully. “We both go to Forks. It’s genius. Lots of forest and wildlife, lots of stupid hunters and hikers. I finish high school, complete my year of college, get my trust fund, and boom, you and I skip off into the sunset. Preferably via Paris.”

"Texas?"

"France, Jasper. You promised."

Damaged Alice: This one is based in the idea that Alice had a lobotomy in the asylum, which lead to serious brain damage that is taking decades for the venom to heal. Combined with her visions and lack of human memories or interaction, Alice finds the Cullens before she finds Jasper.

Alice comes off as very neurodivergent and somewhat infantilized by the Cullens until she tracks down Jasper and essentially attaches herself to him. It's very much just a little love story about two people who are seen as very damaged and imperfect healing and finding happiness.

She sat curled at his side, glimpsing at the book opened in his lap, her fingers twisting the rings she wore methodically.

“Bella and Edward are getting married,” she said out of nowhere.

“They are,” he agreed, pausing to smooth her hair back.

“Why aren’t we married?” she asked, looking confused.

Jasper froze and closed the book, sitting back. “Alice?”

“Bella and Edward are getting married because they love each other,” she said, her eyes glassy and out of focus. A bad episode, then – though, she was still talking. He’d been with her for sixty years, and her periods of lucidity had improved dramatically since he first met her. Carlisle had privately mentioned that he hoped she would only continue to improve as the venom undid the damage. That one day, she might be whole – that her periods of lucidity would overtake her confusion and ‘episodes’. These days, the worst episodes were days of complete silence and no eye contact.

And despite what everyone thought, he didn’t mind either way. He adored, worshipped, loved Alice with a fierceness he couldn’t put into words, and nothing would ever change that.

“I love you, so why aren’t we married?” Her golden eyes were so trusting, even as they struggled to focus, struggled to stay fixed on him. One of her rings was bending as she twisted it – the very reason that Esme had given them to her, to allow her to channel the manic movements that took her over.

“Well,” Jasper began, briefly wondering if he should fetch Esme to try and explain – at least until her lucidity returned. During these episodes, they had all learned that it was best to keep discussions simple.

Feral Alice: Oh, this is fun because it was three different fics that were so similar that I lumped them together until I figured out what to do with them. This version is the idea that Alice never settled playing human and preferred to live a nomadic lifestyle, whilst Jasper stayed with the Cullens.

“Jasper isn’t married?” Bella said, as she watched Edward’s siblings walk towards the car.

“No.” He had a strange look on his face. “Jasper isn’t married. He has… someone who prefers not to live the way we do and visits from time to time.”

“Oh,” Bella frowned, considering Edward’s choice of phrasing. “Is he gay?”

Edward chuckled. “No. She’s a girl. Alice doesn’t remember ever being human – she woke up without any memories, and prefers to be nomadic. She finds it too difficult to blend in.”

When Bella pictured Jasper’s mate, she thought of someone very specific. Someone dark and sensual, mysterious and sinister. Long black hair, maybe curly. Skin the colour of coffee. Clothing that revealed just the right amount of skin. Someone who might make Rosalie uncomfortable, if not jealous. Someone wild and inhuman, yet impossibly sophisticated, who would have long, ridiculously academic discussions with Jasper with no time for petty human life, for high school.

But the tiny girl standing at Jasper’s side was none of those things.

She couldn’t have been more than five feet tall, with uneven black hair curling under her ears. Enormous red eyes made her look even paler, and her eyelashes so long and black, they looked like they had been painted on. She wore a pair of ancient denim pedal pushers, and a filthy white blouse. She came to the middle of Jasper’s chest and was, frankly, adorable. She seemed to be bouncing on the spot in happiness. She and Jasper only had eyes for each other, though they never touched.

She whipped around to face Bella and Edward, and Bella saw that no matter how small she appeared, she was around the same age as the rest of the Cullen ‘children’.

“You must be Bella,” she smiled, clasping her hands in front of her. “I’m Alice.”

Dazzled Alice: fic has evolved so many times that I'm not sure what to do with it - maybe a horror one-shot for Halloween one year. Kind of the OG, full story behind Small Mercies, but darker. Jasper finds human Alice and she's his singer. Thankfully, time with the Cullens means he has more control but that just makes him extremely territorial.

“What have you done, Jasper?”

That’s a new voice, but I can’t open my eyes. Suddenly Jasper is gone.

There’s yelling and scuffling, and I miss him. I want him back.

“Don’t move, sweetheart. You’ve been hurt,” came a gentle voice. A woman’s voice

“No, I’m okay. He didn’t hurt me,” I manage, my voice slurring. “Jasper? Jasper?”

“She’s in a bad way,” comes another voice. “Emmett’s got Jasper, what do we do about her?”

I am aching and my head is spinning and tears roll down my cheeks because Jasper is gone and I am broken without him.

#jaliceismyheaven #memes #my fic #my fic: mad girl's love song #my fic: all these broken things

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f1 · 9 months

Text

Piastri reacts to his mum becoming a social media sensation amid F1 success

While Oscar Piastri has been making a name for himself on the track during his rookie Formula 1 season with McLaren, his mum has been providing some entertainment off it with a mixture of amusing and heart-warming social media posts. From comments about fake tans, cocoa-filled playdough and the rollercoaster of emotions that come with being the parent of an F1 driver, Nicole Piastri has built up a sizeable following of more than 15,000 fans on X (rebranded from Twitter). LIVE COVERAGE: Follow all the build-up ahead of the Dutch Grand Prix weekend With the latest post coming during the summer break, when Nicole had a few words to say about Oscar’s visit to the MotoGP paddock and getting familiar with bikes, the 22-year-old was asked about his mother becoming a social media sensation. “Yeah, it’s cool,” he smiled. “I mean I kind of made… That’s where I made my social media name for myself on Twitter a few years ago, and now my mum’s doing the same, mainly by making fun of me, but that’s okay, she’s my mum, she’s allowed to!” Those off-track laughs aside, Piastri is determined to see his and McLaren’s upward trajectory continue at this weekend’s Dutch Grand Prix, having impressed with a front-row start and podium finish in the Sprint at Spa-Francorchamps last time out. “I think just keep doing what we were doing,” he said. “Even before we had the car to fight solidly in the points and for podiums, I think we were still executing our races very well and making the most of the opportunities that we did have. I think now that we’ve got a car that’s capable of fighting for a lot more, it’s just more evident for everybody. READ MORE: Verstappen sets clear goal for himself and Red Bull as F1 season resumes at Zandvoort “I think just keep the same processes and stuff, obviously try and get a bit closer to Red Bull. I think each weekend it can chop and change between us, Mercedes, Ferrari… Aston could come back into that fight very easily. I think just try and be consistent and really try and hopefully be that next team to try and fight Red Bull.” As for whether he is now feeling fully comfortable in F1, or if there’s still a little way to go, Piastri added: “I think it’s getting there. I’m getting more confidence. I think even at Spa, in the Friday qualifying, there were still a few things I wanted to improve on, but for Saturday qualifying I was very happy. The whole Saturday at Spa was I think my best day in F1 so far. “I don’t think I’m in a position where I can have 100% confidence that every time I’m going to be fully comfortable and fully on it and ready to go, especially with a lot of new tracks in the second half of the year, but I’m definitely getting there and getting more comfortable.” READ MORE: ‘I feel like me from 10 years ago’ – Ricciardo opens up on his renewed energy and future F1 plans Piastri sits 11th in the drivers’ standings after the opening 12 races of the season, three spots down on team mate Lando Norris, while McLaren hold fifth in the constructors’ battle behind Ferrari, Aston Martin, Mercedes and Red Bull. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

#F1 #Piastri reacts to his mum becoming a social media sensation amid F1 success #Formula 1

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allronix · 2 years

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Apparently in the disney EU there are no Jedi Service Corps. While their legends depiction was suspect making every single initiate grow up to be a master diplomat and warrior, (die, or leave the order entirely) doesn't really seem like an improvement to me. Thoughts?

The Service Corps are a VERY thorny piece of Legends; both super interesting and grossly underutilized. I’m not surprised Disney cut it because it does present a sticky spot.

It answers a very good question of what to do with the “leftover” Sensitives. Maybe they got injured in the line of duty and can’t really fight anymore. Maybe they just have no capability to swing a saber. Maybe they were found at the ripe old age of ten and past the cutoff. Maybe they found someone with a high Sensitivity and some cognitive impairment. Whatever. There are going to be people who are just not cut out to swing a saber, but still want to serve the galaxy in some way. It also keeps them more or less safe and monitored by the Jedi so they aren’t exploited or dabbling in Sith artifacts.

In theory, the Corps is a really good option. In real life, a Knight needed anywhere from 300 to 1000 people to support the workings of his manor, make his armor and weapons, breed and care for his horses, make tools, grow food, etc. The Jedi, having access to droid labor, probably don’t need THAT high of numbers, but we’re still talking a lot of working class people needed to keep their organization running; administration services to handle the mail, droid and equipment maintenance, growing their food, medical techs because these dudes see a lot of combat, etc. And if you weren’t suited for the Knight, then maybe you could be a damn good blacksmith or healer.

In practice? Oof. The way it seems to be handled is treating it as a punishment, a place to send the fuckups and failures, a stigma that hangs around for life. You can be the best botanist in Agricorps, and some punk ass Padawan is still going to look down their nose and call you a failure. The official memos call you “valuable contributors,” in the same way official memos from Corporate call the minimum wage staff “valued team members” with the corresponding amount of respect. Maybe guys like Yoda would actually respect the Corps and their work, and it’s more likely that the working class of the galaxy would see and benefit from the Corps and not really the Jedi (who were serving the galactic elite)

The Order “adopted” you, tried to train you for one job, and if you can’t do that job, or there are no available Masters to train you, they toss you out on your ass or into the ranks of the Corps with nothing more than a garbage bag for your stuff. (Obi-Wan and Mical got this treatment). So much for happy, fluffy family.

And then we get to Telos. Again, probably overthinking it because of the Onasi boys, and why Revan was the only Sith smart enough to see a potential gold mine with these “failed” Sensitives. But there was a key part of Kreia’s description of the planet that stuck with me and it possibly the most terrifying part. Her wording was that initiates who failed their training were sent to Telos to “seed” the planet with “farmers and laborers.” She’s always very precise with her word choices, so that suck out, and brought to mind a very UGLY possibility. Force Sensitivity runs in families, but Jedi are not able to have acknowledged offspring. And if the Corps “peasantry” are not subject to the “no attachment rule” (I mean, they have a colony to build), it would make a chilling amount of sense that the grain and meat aren’t the only thing being grown and harvested on Telos, given that the KOTOR era was not a shining time for Jedi ethics...

(And yes, if you want to go there, that adds so much more UGLY to Carth and Bastila sniping at one another in KOTOR)

Now, given all that luggage, I’m not surprised Disney does not want to go there. Their labor track record is not great in real life, and the classism implications would not be something they’d want near shiny space fantasy.

#jedi critical #answer #KOTOR #Carth Onasi #Jedi service corps

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wintersoldierbmb · 1 year

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thursday june 6 i feel like a useless person.

im not depressed and haven’t been for like a year now but i can feel it creeping back in. family drama somehow found a way to me and without saying too much i don’t know who to trust anymore. people really don’t care about me as much as they lie and say they do.

on another note I’m just not motivated to do anything anymore. i wish i could just die. i don’t want to be useless. even though i am in college and stuff i still feel like my life is going to go nowhere and i’ll just be another person existing, taking up everyone else’s oxygen for no reason. i don’t deserve to live if i can’t be useful. i feel like i am incapable of doing the simplest of tasks and that makes me feel like i have no future. i wish someone would get rid of me so i don’t have to kill myself. i wish i didn’t have ADHD. i wish my mind wasn’t on a trillion things at once all the time. i wish i was easy for people to understand. i wish the smallest ripples in how i feel in a moment didn’t have the potential to make my whole day crash and burn. i really wish i was rich, and if not rich then at least normal so that i could be a functioning member of society and be able to get a job or something. i wish i had my own house but i will probably never get one because i can’t save money for the life of me. music isn’t working even though I’ve been consistently doing that since i was born (literally) so there’s another goal in the trash. i have been wasting my time with everything i try to pursue. i should just die.

i’m 19 years old and the only asset i have is the fact that i’m in college. i passed my summer one classes (i think) and i can’t even celebrate it. i can’t bring myself to be happy about that achievement. all i can do is thank God and move on. internally i’m not happy or proud of myself. even now i want to drop out. i am my biggest enemy. i’m not capable of doing things everyone else has learned to do when they were 15, 16, 17 in high school. i don’t think i have an interesting future or even a good one at all. i will die with regrets on how i lived my life. if i grow old, it will be into a life of regret of how lame i was as a youth, and how i didn’t choose to do what everyone else did. my perception on life is very skewed, but i don’t even know how to look at life anymore. i spent so much time being high and under the influence in the past few years that it was the only reality i could function in. now i’m trying to be sober again and not depend on weed to make me a normal person and the only thing it is doing is making me feel like shit inside. my self worth is only high on one day out of the week (probably because i was high that day) and for the rest of the week i feel worthless. if i killed myself i wouldn’t hurt a lot of people except for MAYBE my mom and i don’t want to do that to her.

i feel like something is wrong with me or that i am mentally retarded. everyone else seems to have the necessary brainpower to do everything they need to in life, but here i am being slow in mine. i try every day to improve my work ethic and attitude about living, but my insecurities overwhelm me. all i can think about is how dumb i feel. i feel like a stupid person. i am not intelligent or as intelligent as people make me out to be. if i was in any situation worse than i have been in in my life i probably wouldn’t make it. i thank God every day for always giving me another chance, but i feel sad because i feel like i’m wasting it. He is too merciful to someone who cannot make anything for himself. music is all i have to offer anymore. nothing about me is special or different enough for me to get recognized for. i don’t even feel like a real person anymore. i feel like i’m nobody. i should die soon and quit wasting everyone’s time, but i’m too scared to do it to myself. drugs are the only thing that “restore” me, but thats how you end up being a fucking junkie. i will never be a junkie. i’m hoping one of these days i overdose or get a bad batch of some weed or tale a strange pill or get spiked and die from it. i don’t want torture or deserve a long painful death as i haven’t done anything to earn that. the only thing that i need to do is die. quickly

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linksthoughtbrambles · 2 years

Text

Not thinking about apples.

Part 3 of Adventure Log+ (Sequel to Link’s Thought Brambles. There’s a lot of context that you’ll lose if you read Adventure Log+ without having read Link’s Thought Brambles. I highly recommend reading in order!) - Edited 1/29/23 to improve voice and tighten up language.

Plan.

We need a smart, solid, fool-proof-certified plan that actually makes sense.

Planning… is not my strength. I come UP with plenty. I execute few. I complete even fewer. I did pretty good on the festival, but Zelda had a huge part in that, too. The two of us together and a lot of manpower made that work. AND coffee! That stuff was good. Could use some right now.

It’s true the end of the festival wasn’t great… but that wasn’t down to our planning. Not really. Some stubbornness- NOPE, not thinking about that! Not here.

Zelda has that look on her face again. The one that wrinkles her entire forehead. She might’ve had it when Rionee galloped up to her at the shrine in Tabantha, but it changed so fast I’m not sure. I’ve seen her concentrate on problems, but usually sciencey ones she enjoys. Not something that could be life and death for us, so long-term we’re stuck with it for months if we get it wrong.

…I’d looooove to eat one of those leftover caramel apples. No one else has reached for one. Resist, Link. Resist. Don’t look and don’t drool. This meeting’s important. Someone’ll go for them once their dinner’s digested. There’s a reason they brought us those, right? They saved some tasty things for the fancy people so they didn’t have to slobber messy food while otherwise busy in public. They can slobber them behind closed doors in peace instead. This is their chance to eat one as much as it's mine!

I want one with the pink peppercorns even though I just ate a whole plate of spectacular goose-potato-onion hash and wow those itty-bitty orange thingies were so good. I’ll ask Zelda what they are later. Too weird to ask in this room.

…Am I one of the fancy people now? I’m sitting at the king’s receiving room table with him, Zelda, and Jeralt. Kind of surprised Ahadis isn’t here.

Well… maybe this isn’t the “fancy” table. I never thought of Jeralt as fancy. He’s captain of the royal guard now but as down-to-earth as you can get. Aurexler, now HE's fancy.

I guess I never thought of father as fancy. Huh.

“I’d already spent a good deal of time on this itinerary.”

Aaaaand I’d stopped thinking about the plan. Again.

“Considering recent events, I must alter it considerably. What I thought I must accomplish a week ago seems, now, less immediate and more suited to Purah and her teams. Please, father, Link, Jeralt—I shall enumerate my goals, but interject your own thoughts.

“The overarching goal is to ensure Hyrule is as prepared as possible for the oncoming Calamity.”

Same goal for the last twelve years.

“We still must accomplish previously existent goals in relation to that. Difficulties the champions are experiencing with their Divine Beasts must be resolved. I’d originally intended to visit the domain first to address Ruta’s gait. That’s still of high priority.”

No arguments there.

“I’d visited Daruk and Revali relatively recently and addressed some issues- ah, that is to say I’d addressed a mechanical issue on Medoh. I’ve no idea what assisted Daruk, but by the time we left he seemed an expert at controlling Rudania.”

Don’t blush, Link. Not important right now.

“We ought to check on Urbosa, though she hasn’t complained of anything specific.”

“Phhhh. Agreed, daughter, though I find my own mind drawn to the problem of this field around our castle.”

“Yes. That may be the most urgent issue. Fi said the field is strengthening. Who knows what it will be capable of in future?”

“So Fi needs energy so she can do something about it.”

Indeed, master. I require either you or the Princess—preferably you—to provide it.

“So how do we get enough? Do I just eat?”

“Eat?”

“Sorry, sire, it’s Fi, she- thanks, Princess.”

“Of course—here-“

“It’s fine. I can see, daughter.”

...We need to access a significant energy source, master. You would need to eat an extremely large amount of food.

“How large?”

Large enough as to make it impractical. You do have physical limitations, and your body can only digest so much food at once. If we waited a long time, it would work.

“Okay… I’m… not willing to do that, anyway. This is already a winter we think some kinds of food’ll be scarce.” I mean… I LOVE food, and I know I eat more than it seems like I should have to. I’m hungry, so it must be doing something, but you know what, Link? You’re going to have some goddess-damned self-control this winter and NOT eat whole pumpkin pies all by yourself because you can definitely survive on a lot less than you can eat… aaaaaand everyone can read this anyway even though I’m not talking, including the king, and won’t my mind just shut up??????

Uuuugh, they’re smiling at me.

“Heheh. Goodness, Link.”

Yeeeaaaah, I know. "So, not food. What are the other options? You said I could convert things, but like what?”

There are a myriad of options, master, but you are still contained in a physical body and limited by its ability to survive exposure to certain energies. For example, you are able to convert solar energy, but just as any Hylian you are subject to sunburn.

“Um. Is that why I like sunshine so much?”

That, I do not know.

“Okay, so… can I hang around outside all day and soak up Sun?”

The rate of energy transfer is too slow. To build up the quantity of energy required would take years.

“...I'm out of ideas. It's not like I can stick myself in a bonfire.”

Forgive me, master. My intent is not to frustrate you. There are few energy sources I know of in this era which either of us would be capable of absorbing in great quantity. I am curious how the Divine Beasts are faring.

“Though we don’t understand the energy sources, the Divine Beasts appear to have plentiful energy for operation, if that’s what you mean.”

In part, yes. I have little knowledge of the beasts' design. I am uncertain how they draw power. I had boarded the beasts in the past as well as with my current master during his visit to Vah Rudania, but that is all.

Ooooh, Zelda didn’t know about that. Hehe, hi. Yeah, I see you looking at me, can we talk about it later? It’s really not that important.

“If you say so, Link.”

“Kmph- I think so!”

“Indeed!”

“Skies above, it is most disorienting to see your thoughts appear on this screen, Sir Link. In your place, I doubt I’d be able to put up with it.”

“It’s not so bad, sire, not now that I’m used to it.”

“Mmmph. Most wouldn’t get used to it, I think.”

I’m just glad I’m not thinking about apples. Caramel. Peppercorns! Table. Table table table table table THINK, Link, think think think window! Uuuuuuh CROWN! Crown frown down town clown NOO not clowns, they’re fricking terrifying, uuuuh surround around astound found wound bound crowned ooooh look at that, that’s crown used twice, nice, rice lice mice thrice slice-

“What in blue blazes are you doing?”

“S-sorry, sire. Just trying to be normal.”

“…This is not normal.”

“Yeah, that’s true, you’re right sire, I just, well, I like rhymes.”

“That explains nothing.”

No, it doesn’t, does it? I can’t explain though because if I explain I am in SO much trouble, not that he doesn’t know about it, not really, but I mean who wants to find out exactly what stone thrown clone blown throne bone alone moan NONO lone-

“Sir Link, would it help you to leave the room?”

“It would make no difference, father. The slate records his thoughts regardless.”

“Auph.”

Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel about it, too.

“What of the ancient furnaces?”

Huh? “What about them, Princess?”

“The blue flames are a highly concentrated form of energy.”

Blue flames?

“Yes. They burn ceaselessly in two locations, one in northeastern Akkala and one near Hateno in Necluda. The facilities from which they spring appear nearly identical to the main control units within the Divine Beasts.”

Fascinating. With a few exceptions, location names in this era have altered since my previous awakening. Where is Akkala in relation to this castle?

“Akkala is the northeastern-most province of Hyrule, to the east of Death Mountain.”

Thank you, Princess. I would extrapolate that these ancient furnaces tap into the energies of the sacred flames. The remains of the far more ancient Fire Sanctuary may be beneath this furnace you speak of.

“These furnaces did not exist before?”

I cannot confirm that. My previous master was not always privy to the Sheikah’s plans.

“Did they not trust him?!”

To say that would be untrue, but he was not involved in that civilization’s infrastructure. It’s possible the flames were already in use and therefore went unremarked. They also may have been created or accessed during his time or afterward. It is unknown.

“Yet the locations are significant to you.”

Thus far, Princess. One sacred flame burned in the Fire Sanctuary far to the northeast past Death Mountain, and another burned in the southeast—south of a heavily forested area yet west of a large expanse of water, within a mechanized cistern. The third burned far to the west in a free-moving vessel.

“Three flames, yet only two ancient furnaces. The location you describe in the southeast would indeed fit the location of Hateno Village. But there is nothing we know of in the west.”

It may be belowground.

“I suppose.”

If the energy sources are in fact the sacred flames, I am capable of absorbing them directly. Each may still harbor distinctive properties which would leave me unbalanced were I to absorb a great deal without also absorbing an equal amount of the other two. Since one is as yet undiscovered, this presents a problem. I could, of course, expend the energy of only one flame shortly after absorbing it.

Oh, of course!

…Consider reigning in your sarcasm, master.

...They’re all looking at me. “… Sorry.” It’s not like I trained myself to control the snark in my head. Only out my mouth.

Another option would be to collect these energies in other vessels, return them here, and apply all three at once, were the third available.

“It is possible to transfer the blue flames with a torch. A series of lanterns leads from each to a nearby location. They allow the flame’s relatively easy transfer and utilization at facilities at the end of each path.”

Fascinating. How long do these lanterns burn once lit?

“Typically not more than a day.”

How were they constructed?

“We don’t know. They pre-date our own efforts.”

Have any attempts been made to re-create them?

“The team in Akkala has attempted exactly that without success. Purah and Robbie may know more than I do. Or Impa, now I think of it. Regardless, we could deliver some of this energy to the castle for you, or you could absorb it yourself?”

Either is possible. You and my master can also absorb and store a large amount of this energy, if it is indeed that of the sacred flames.

“…May I ask what the sacred flames are?”

They are, in essence, a type of potential energy remaining from the Goddesses’ presence in this realm, in a time so ancient even I did not yet exist.

“I thought potential energy was more of a mathematical model than an existent energy form.”

Mathematical models which make accurate predictions tend to represent reality, Princess, even if the reality seems too strange to be true. The chemical energy you gain by eating can be considered a form of potential energy, for it is simply energy in storage: not currently in use.

I do not know whether these blue flames behave as the sacred flames did; energy may change form. You have already provided evidence the flames have done so.

“What evidence is that?”

They are blue. Yet the ones you’ve discovered would match the flame of power and the flame of courage, which appeared red and green respectively when I last encountered them. Only the flame of wisdom—in the west—was blue.

“These flames were left by the Goddess?”

No, master. The Goddess Hylia did not create these flames. The Goddesses did.

“Goddess…es?”

Yes.

“H-how many Goddesses are we talking?”

Three, master.

“So there’s two more?!”

No.

“Wh- three minus one is two.”

Apologies, master. Hylia is not one of the three Goddesses who originated before the creation of Hyrule.

“What?!” “Holy Hylia-“ “Merciful Goddess!” “Hhhh!”

Yes, your forebears ten-thousand years ago had also appeared unaware of them.

It’s not just me, this time. The entire room is flabbergasted. Four Goddesses. FOUR. And we didn’t know about three of them?

“Fi... is Link correct? Are there four Goddesses in total?”

…

?!!?!?! Holy S@#$- “there’s more, aren’t there?!”

…

“That is SO a yes!”

Not necessarily, master.

“No, no, I’m calling definite bulls@$# this time, Fi. No way. You clam up when there’s something I’m not supposed to know. If there were four, you’d have said so. Right? Am I right?”

“…I’m afraid I quite agree with my appointed knight.”

I may need to alter my protocols.

“OH! Oh ho, so there are at least five! Who’s the fifth one, then? You said there were three Goddesses who came before Hyrule, and for some reason you’re okay with letting us know that, but not that there’s a fifth one out there?”

If I reveal too much, all it will do is hurt you, master.

…The king, maybe she’ll listen to the king? “Sire?”

“…I must admit the difficulty of taking it in. Fi.”

Yes?

Wow. No title? I wonder if that’s why he’s taking so long to answer her…

“Hphhhhhhhh. There is no delicate way to phrase this. Was Zelda praying to the wrong Goddess?”

…Holy sh-

No.

OH thank you for that.

Prayer was inconsequential.

And now his head's in his hands.

What was he hoping for? Either way, he was wrong. I guess if prayer mattered, but to someone else, at least he wouldn’t’ve led her too far astray.

Still… if I was a Goddess, and someone was praying but just didn’t know my name, I’d answer anyway. Seems petty not to.

He’s still holding his head.

Zelda keeps switching between him and the slate, like she’s not sure where to look. Maybe I’d better say something?

“Fi, can you tell us what they’re called? The other three Goddesses you mentioned?”

Farore, Nayru, and Din.

“Wow. Wow-“

“Those names are in the song of the Goddess.”

Yes, Princess.

“…It’s not gibberish.”

No, Princess.

“Would you please translate the words? I assume you know the song.”

I do, and I can honor this request. The translation is:

Youth, guided by the Goddess’ servant Unite the earth and sky and bring light to the land Youth, show the two whirling sails the way to the light tower-

“The two what?”

You have interrupted my flow, master.

…Er. Sorry?

Thank you. The rest follows:

And before you a path shall open, and a heavenly song you shall hear.

Spirit Maiden, guided by blood and memory Nayru, Farore, and Din Trust you with life and the gift of the Moon And skyward a song you and your youth shall sing.

…Is it sacrilege if I think some of it is still gibberish?

Yes, master.

!!!!

…

…You’re joking.

Why would you think so?

I can tell!

How, master?

Your tone went all funny.

What tone?

THAT one you just did!

With all due respect master, you are not the most adept person in this room when it comes to interpreting tones of voice.

Your voice is in my head. I have advantage.

“Fi.”

Ooh. Okay—Princess privilege.

Yes, Princess?

“Spirit Maiden is one of the titles you listed as mine. One you could apply to me in lieu of Your Grace.”

That snapped the king’s head up.

It’s a highly exalted title. The kind of thing usually reserved for the king and queen and only under extremely formal circumstances, like royalty from across the chasm or sea. Not that it’s happened at all in my lifetime—everyone’s too afraid of the Calamity. The highest of high priests/priestesses at the temple of time sometimes get called that, but again only in very formal circumstances.

That is, if my father’s descriptions can be trusted. Sometimes he’s… a little off.

And Fi hasn’t answered her.

“Fi, why didn’t you answer the Princess?”

The Princess did not ask me a question.

“The question was kind of implied.”

Was it, master?

“Yeah.”

…And she’s still not answering- “Fi, is Spirit Maiden a title you could use for Zelda instead of Princess?”

Yes.

“So… the song’s talking about Zelda?”

You are jumping to conclusions, master. Calling the Princess ‘Princess’ does not mean every Princess referred to in a story is her personally.

“Fair enough, so what’s a Spirit Maiden?”

A spirit maiden is a living person able to wield the magics of the Goddess Hylia.

“Okay… so the song’s about the person from an earlier time who was wielding that magic. There’s also a youth and a servant of the Goddess. Blood and… memory?... guide the spirit maiden, and the three Goddesses we just found out about trust her with life and whatever the gift from the Moon is. And she’s gonna sing a song with the youth, ohh and then there was all that weird stuff about showing two whirling sails to the light tower? What’s that about?”

…

“Fi?”

…

“Seriously, why translate it if we’re not allowed to know?”

…Are you certain you wish to know this, master?

“Sure, why not?”

…Very well… the whirling sails refer to a pair of windmill-like sail structures atop two stone pillars.

“…And?”

…The youth needed to turn the pillars.

“…Okay…how about you don’t make me ask for every part of the explanation, and just tell us the whole thing?”

You are unaware of the nature of the knowledge you seek, master.

“Fine, I’m unaware! Enlighten me.”

…

A pair of mock-windmill sails built into the pillars controlled mechanisms to turn them. The youth needed to spin the wheels a sufficient amount to point the large sails toward a nearby navigational light-tower. He did so with a device intended to expel air. The-

“Goodness, that sounds complicated. Why not simply turn them by hand?”

Why indeed, Princess?

Wh-? What’d I do to deserve that hit of irritation-?

Regardless, the youth turned the pillars to face a nearby tower-

I can FEEL it when you get huffy like that!

I do not get huffy, master.

...Okay. Sorry. Please continue?

I appreciate your cordiality, master. The tower then activated and allowed the youth entry to an internal ladder. He was then able to reach the top of the tower-

“Seriously? How tall was this tower?”

…Approximately forty feet, master.

“Wow. Not a strong climber, I guess. I’d’ve just slogged my way up there by hand, no spinning pillars required!”

“It does seem inefficient.”

…Quite.

Do you wish to hear the remainder, or may we move on?

“Oh, for sure, let’s hear it!”

“I concur.”

As you wish… the youth activated the light tower which focused a beam of light upon a thunderhead, opening a path to fly through it.

“That’s it? What about the second verse?”

We discussed that.

“Not all of it. We covered what a Spirit Maiden is and that the three names are Goddesses. The rest of it, about blood and memory, and trusting with life, and the gift of the Moon, and the song-singing—well, I guess the song-singing is pretty self-explanatory, but not the rest.”

Master, do you not agree that the first verse’s true meaning was, in fact, quite mundane?

“Silly.”

Then why force me to recount the meaning of the second verse?

“…You have a point.”

I do.

“…This tangent sprang from our discussion of the flames—that they could serve as an energy source for Fi. Let’s return to that, please.”

Sorry.

Oh. I get a smile?

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Link. It is… tempting, is it not? To delve deep into the unknown territories of knowledge.”

Oh. Ohhhh. “I’m not as smart as you, though.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, but let’s return to the subject of greater urgency . The rest can wait.”

Yep. Control yourself, Link.

“As I understand it, Fi, Link and I are each able to collect energy from these flames. Correct?”

Yes, Princess.

“Link’s pouch is able to store energy extra-dimensionally. Could we store blue flames within it?”

It is possible, Princess. If time essentially does not move within it, a lit torch should not go out.

“Excellent. Link, how much can your pouch hold?”

“I have no idea. It’s never NOT let me put something in, not unless it was really huge.”

“How huge?”

“Well. I, ah. You know, like, a… a moblin.”

“A moblin?!”

“Yeah.”

“What possessed you to attempt that?!”

“They start disintegrating when they die. I figured if I could put it in the pouch it wouldn’t happen, and they could study it at the lab. But… you know. It didn’t work. The opening didn’t expand to let it in.”

“Ah. That makes sense, now you explain it. Alright. Let’s attempt a test with an ordinary torch.”

Okay. Hopefully the pouch won’t catch fire.

…Not a pleasant thought. I do NOT want to lose it. Guess we could go back to the woods and ask for a new one, but—oh s$#%, what would happen to all the stuff I have in there if the outside burns?!

“Due to the travel time necessary to collect energy from the flames, I propose we also attempt a shorter-term solution of some kind.”

No one else is thinking about this.

Any solution involving me will dissolve as soon as I leave this place, Princess.

“Yes. I thought we might try to disperse the field temporarily and note any effects.”

Do I let Zelda potentially destroy my awesome pouch?!

“I also wonder if Purah and Robbie might be able to manufacture an object which would serve a similar purpose.”

Maybe I empty the whole thing out first.

“We’d intended to visit the royal lab soon, regardless, and I intend to propose this to them then.”

Prudent, Princess.

…Maybe we don’t test it until we have a duplicate, I bet the Koroks would-

“Sir Link, forgive me, but please attempt to curtail your mind’s wanderings for the moment. It is difficult to follow Fi on the screen.”

“Sorry, sire.” Stupid stupid stupid stop thinking so stupid, stare at the tasty apples or something.

“…Let’s consolidate.”

Yes, please, Zelda!

“Divine Beast Ruta in the Domain. Divine Beast Naboris in the Gerudo Desert. As it happens, I also received word from Urbosa regarding several shrines unearthed there. It makes sense to survey them. More urgent points of interest—the ancient furnaces at Hateno and Tumlea Heights in Akkala. There ought to be a third energy source westward. Fi, if you absorb all three, will that heighten the effects of your magic?”

Yes. I will also be able to absorb extra energy from the final one if tempered by the other two.

“I believe it unwise for us personally to search for this third flame, but we have quite a few parties out on surveys and digs. Father?”

“Yes, let’s send word to them—direct them to begin searching. The teams at Tanagar Canyon and eastern Hebra already are, essentially, but we’ll notify them nonetheless.”

“Alright. Fi, is there any need for me to visit the springs of power and courage?”

Not specifically, Princess. The waters of the springs served their primary purpose before written memory. There may be reasons for you to return at a later date—but traveling there now would net little.

“…As you say. We skip the springs. I did want to visit the survey team on the Great Plateau owing to your declaration of its importance, Fi—of an ancient medical facility.”

It may or may not exist.

“Indeed. The Temple of Time is also near there, and—correct me if I’m wrong—one of our goals is to spread hope throughout Hyrule.”

“Yes, daughter, though readiness is of greater import.”

“Agreed. I… would at some point like to attend a service at the Temple of Time as myself. Not in disguise.”

The heart of Hyrule’s faith. “The Yiga clan might expect that.”

“Perhaps.”

“… Can we think on that one a little more? And if we do it, can we save it for the last leg of the journey? It feels… like it’s the same level of risk as the bailey. That didn’t turn out great.”

“We don’t need to decide immediately.”

…I really want one of those stupid apples.

“I also propose we assist the populace in dispatching monsters as we travel: hope for our people, and incentive for us—yes, Link?”

“Yeah. We should try not to give our identities away, though.” And it means Zelda being near monsters. I’ll be pulling my hair out in tufts. Biting my woah! Table-smack!

“We have all failed to consider something else of concern.”

…Training Zelda?

“Father?”

“Link, your mother and sister need an escort home, and I’ll be damned if I don’t assign at least three men to stay there and keep watch.”

…S%@#. S@#%, he’s right. “Yes, sire.”

“…We’re already undermanned, sire. Ahadis and I have begun restructuring the guard schedule for threes instead of pairs. It’s hell. We need more people here, not less, and after what happened we know even re-assigning soldiers from other posts is risky.”

“Sir Jeralt, I flatly refuse to leave Link’s family unprotected. That assassin did not hesitate to send an arrow toward a young girl’s heart. I doubt his compatriots will be kinder. We let them go home unprotected, and next we’ll find a ransom note demanding Sir Link’s head in exchange for their safety.”

“We could ask them to remain here at the castle.”

“You’d ask them to give up their home to avoid hiring a few more people?”

“I- eh. No, sire.”

“Mmph. Good.”

“Might I make a suggestion, father?”

“Of course.”

“Anyone we send with them must be trustworthy. I’d… hesitate to choose those we know less well. It ought to be people who have been here many years and demonstrated unwavering loyalty and strength of character.”

“…You’re going to suggest members of the royal guard, aren’t you?”

“They are loyal to Link’s father and to you.”

“…Sir Kertiss was a problem.”

“Sir Kertiss is prejudiced, but even that is steeped in loyalty to Sir Lyle. I am tempted to suggest him specifically, since he presumably will be up for hire and certainly will not impact castle rotations.”

…She… is she serious? “Zelda… he hates me.”

“I'm not so sure. He is loyal to your father. His treatment of you stems at least in part from that.”

“He’s an asshole!”

“Yes. A prideful misogynist to say the least. I have little doubt that misogyny extends to chivalry. He would not have intentionally harmed me at the tournament. He will not harm your mother or sister. Perhaps your sister may inundate him with criticism and put him in his place.”

“Or maybe she’ll annoy the s@#$ out of him and he’ll hit her.”

“Link… do you honestly think he’d do that?”

“I have no idea. He was wiling to break my ribs.”

“He was also in the field at the time.”

“He- oh.” Zelda has a point! He was acting like such a nasty f@#$er, but what’s he like if he’s not on this island with a creepy-crawly signal to hate me and Zelda poking at him? “…Okay. Alright, I’m willing to give this a shot, but I want to talk to him AND my mom and Chee about it personally. We’re sending people in threes, right? So he’d only be one of three. If we’re choosing from the guard, I nominate Turro right this second, but do we really want to do that? Jeralt?”

“Hphhh. Some of the men on the guard have been there a long time. Some not. Turro’s been here about six years and got promoted real fast. Damn skilled. Would be useful to have someone who can hit long range reliably. He’d be useful for hunting while they’re all waiting it out at your parents’ home. Cahz and Kertiss were pretty new. Eberoy woudn’t want to go, most likely. Either he’d have to leave his wife until this was over or she’d have to leave her home here. Virn’s good, but he’s less independent than Turro. If we’re choosing from the royal guard specifically, I think I’d have to say Merendith.”

“We could also take someone from my guard. If we’re gone, we don’t have to be extreme about that.”

“Oh yes we do.”

“Link?“

“We can't travel openly after what happened.”

“W-well-“

“No way. Either we travel incognito, or your entire guard joins us.”

…That’s some quiet right there. I wonder if she’s feeling at all like I am. I’d looked forward to traveling alone with her-

“If I travel with a large party, my movements will be obvious. There shall be ample opportunities to attack us, and even if I take the entire guard they would be quite easily outnumbered. It makes far more sense to leave them here--the castle is already short-staffed for the new procedures to be put in place, and their presence will help. We... could still spare someone from that group to go with Link’s family, if we don't want to take too many from the Royal Guard.”

Ohhh, Link. Ideas. Sometimes, you have them. “If we’re not in the castle, the Yiga clan could easily find out we’ve left. We have to still seem like we’re here, at least at first. Your guard rotation still has to happen, and it needs to stay strict, and we need doubles. People who look like you and I, at least from far away. We can… pretend we’re being really careful after what happened at the festival, like we’re not mixing with people much, or maybe that we’re taking a break, staying in our chambers more.” Which isn’t far from the truth anyway. “Farniha’s about your height, and Wenn’s small like me. It could work.”

“…You’re suggesting we disguise them to look like us?”

“Yep. We dye their hair. Wenn might take some convincing, but I think Farniha’ll do it no problem.”

“Wenn will do as he’s ordered.”

“…Yes, sire.”

“Hmph. You’d give him the option, wouldn’t you?”

“…Yes, sire.”

“It’s good to respect those under your command, but autonomy should only go so far. If it jeopardizes you, it isn’t acceptable.”

…Okay.

“Well. With all this in mind… I believe my new itinerary by default should take us toward Hateno first.”

“Wh- woah, Princess, I don’t want to be near my family. That’ll make them more of a target, not less, just like in the bailey!”

“We won’t be us, Link. We’ll be Farniha and Wenn. We shall dye our hair and wear their uniforms.”

Oh man. Rub your forehead, Link. It’s late. You’re tired. Of course, it makes sense! It’s Zelda. Oh- “The people in Hateno’ll recognize me.”

“Not if you keep the helmet on.”

“… Okay. Yeah, okay, I can do that around everyone else. So, we deliver them, we visit the first ancient furnace, we collect energy-“

“And I inspect the shrine.”

“Yep, shrine inspection. That makes the next stop the domain.”

“Indeed. I imagine Mipha would like to travel with us, though she may break off beyond the Dueling Peaks.”

“Maybe. And if we’re headed to the domain next, it makes sense to continue north into Akkala from there. I… think we should avoid the citadel, Princess. Guessing there’d be people there who would recognize you, and while I’m not sure that’d be much of a problem in the domain, it might be in Akkala.” And there's also that general’s wife I’ve heard about, and how she likes to invade everyone’s privacy. I’d rather not be in disguise around someone like that.

“I agree with you, Link. Vayden and the soldier from Carok Bridge infiltrated Hylian ranks easily. It seems unlikely that would occur in the Domain, but we still ought to be wary of any travelers.”

Extremely wary. So wary we don’t even talk to them. Or… no, because then you seem suspicious. Something in between is the right way to go.

I’ll be bad at this, won’t I? I’m not exactly good at saying the right thing at the right time. And I’m terrible at lying.

“It would seem prudent to then return to the castle for respite unless we receive news which diverts us to Daruk.”

Yeah. “Makes sense to come back here, anyway. We’ll need to see if there’s news about a third flame. If not, I figure the desert is the next stop.”

“Yes.”

…Well. That’s it, isn’t it? The Plan. We set up decoys to seem legitimate as long as possible. Some people’ll have to be in on it. Damn, the whole fricking castle might have to be if it goes on long enough, and that’s just not realistic if there’s even a single Yiga clan member still here. But I figure it’ll buy us a few days if our decoys hide out up here, mostly.

…Is anyone going to eat an apple, or am I going to have to leave the room without one?

“Oh- haha, Link. With all that sorted, I believe I shall try one of these caramel apples with ginger.”

“I haven’t eaten a caramel apple since I was a kid.”

“Now’s your chance, Sir Jeralt!”

“...Maybe the one with the salt. Unless either of you would like it, Sire, Link?”

Nnnnnope. “I’m eyeing one of the pink peppercorn ones.”

“Ha. As am I, lad. Shall we?”

You can see they’re not quiiite in their prime because they’re not as fresh anymore but wow is that still good. Don’t let your eyes roll back in your head, Link. You’ll seem possessed by a poe or something. They got the caramel right where it’s still gooey but not so much so that it all ran right off the apple and the pink peppercorns are a little different tasting than black ones and they’re almost pepperminty when mixed with the caramel and then the apple just mellows the whole thing out and it’s almost as good as sehhhhhhhhhhhhlebrations. Celebrations. They’re great! Except when you get shot during one, then they suck ass.

Zelda’s the only one looking, at least. For now.

____

Read Next: How our [k]nights should be.

Follow this link for the post list for this fic.

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#adventure log+#botw #zelda #linksthoughtbrambles #fanfic #zelink #breath of the wild #loz #legend of zelda #botw zelda #botw link #king rhoam #fi #original characters #lots of exposition #with caramel apples

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purity-town · 2 years

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Finally getting more ask replies out; it’s been a while! These should be all of the ones currently in this blog’s inbox; I’m going to answer PT-related questions sent to my personal blog separately. The last response in particular got very, very long haha; so as always, replies are under the cut!

Yes, absolutely! I make Purity Town AU content because I like thinking about these characters and creating things about them -- so it makes me very, very happy when other folks have fun with them, too! I know I certainly do lots of silly and less silly things with them; I’m not going to stop anyone else from doing the same. Do what keeps you inspired and makes you happy!

Thank you!!! I’ve genuinely been rereading this ask over and over, this is so kind of you. I’m really happy that you’re enjoying what I’m making here so much! Just- aaaa, thank you!! I’ve loved getting to do stuff with this comic and story and world so much, improving in my art and getting to meet other community members while I do it. I really appreciate you’ve been reading, and I hope you continue enjoying the comic going forward!

Firstly, I want to give a disclaimer that anything dealing with timeline stuff should be regarded with some level of suspicion, haha. I gave numbers in my head for when specific things happened in the timeline, like “X happened ~40 years ago” but I haven’t sat down and actually worked everything out, so if anyone in the future is reading through old asks, keep that in mind! Lots of stuff has been changed since earlier on in the comic, but I always answer asks to the best of my ability at the time.

Disclaimer done! So anyways, I always considered the greatest impact of the War to be felt in the time that followed it, rather than the times during it. The pain and destruction was immense during the War, but the famine and corruption that followed killed even more, without the Dryads present any longer to enact Terraria’s will. The loss of knowledge, displacement of peoples, and immense death toll all contributed to the world as it was before the War basically becoming forgotten to time. And with how weak Terraria was following the War, unable to even resurrect Her Dryads, it took many decades for the world to truly start recovering.

Now, let’s talk about the Wall of Flesh! You see, Terraria’s whole deal is balance: the world has to be in order. It’s why despite Terraria most often being represented as the sun, and Cthulhu the moon, they don’t cancel each other out naturally -- Terraria was already balanced into a natural night and day, and Moon Lord came and threw the scales all off. So when the War was done and the world in ruins, the people who inhabited it no longer capable of harnessing the magics and defending themselves from monsters in the way they once could, She locked away the ancient spirits of light and dark in tandem, and most magic with it.

Seal away Cthulhu’s energy and power, and while the world will have lost its strongest magics, it will be safe. (It is no coincidence that the Wall of Flesh resembles Moon Lord in so many facets, however hideous and warped they may have become -- the WoF’s leeches and tongue vs. Moon Lord’s leech clots and tongue, the eye lasers vs. the phantasmal bolts/beams, and so on and so forth. Like it or not, Andrew is, in a roundabout sort of way, inextricably linked to the same eldritch energies that destroyed their world in the past.) It’s not sustainable, of course; their world has been slowly dying, poisoned by new-sown corruption and Moon Lord’s gradual return to power. But it’s had time to rebuild and regrow without the population being mowed down by monsters night after night.

The Wall of Flesh didn’t come around immediately, following the War. It took decades for Terraria to be capable of creating such a thing. But the plan was as such -- seal away the magic behind an immaterial barrier. Give that barrier a soul, one that belonged to a physical being. When the physical being is killed while in the Underworld, the soul reaches for the barrier’s power, and tries to create a new body from it. And thus, the barrier becomes mortal itself, and can be killed…provided there is someone strong enough to do so, someone who has the power to assert that the time is right to release the ancient magic once more.

Andrew never saw the War himself, and his mother was either very young during it, or born right after. Likewise, Terraria chose his soul for the Wall when he was very young, so he’s never known a life without it. It put him at a strange place compared to other people just a few years older than he was, growing up, as they remembered their world with far more horrifying monsters than the ones he ever knew. Some of his physical features can be explained as either genetics or a result of his situation; his hair color is a good example of that. He never knew his biological family beyond his mother and brother, so he’s never been able to say. His aura has always been…like that, though, which has landed him in trouble in the past from people who are sensitive to them like Malik is. Real child of the devil, that one. And a bit of a smart aleck, too; being a young Guide will do that to ya.

The manifesting burns is, all things considered, a relatively new thing. At least, on the scale of “Andrew is over 450 years old,” though to be fair, Andrew’s own mentality and perception of time come from the perspective of an immortal, so that may or may not mean much to him. His scars all disappear upon each death and resurrection (in his case, immortal does not mean invincible; Terraria always brings him back), which is seriously helpful because as Heather said -- magical wounds are much, much harder to heal than physical ones.

The burns manifest all over his body, though they’re generally most common on his arms and torso, less common on his legs, and very rare on his head. There have been times in the past where his head/face have been seriously burned, but it’s always been something that Andrew was willing to face a week of potion sickness to fix. Throw enough healing juice at anything and you’ll start feeling better! After the side effects wear off, of course. He doesn’t risk it for most injuries, though; he can live with the scarring so long as he has all of his body parts and can keep the whole affair on the down-low.

You’re spot on though about his collar -- while most of Andrew’s dress is practical, with consideration for trudging through the woods while hunting or being prepared for poor weather, he covers up a little more than strictly necessary to hide the scarring. It’s not a well-kept secret; it’s hard to achieve such a thing in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone. But he does try to hide the burns as well as he can. Outside of generally just hurting, and making people ask questions, they also bring up bad memories. Andrew isn’t all that self-conscious about it, exactly, but he’d really like to just pretend they don’t exist.

PHEW, okay, this was a lot. So sorry that went on for so long anon, I got a bit carried away going off on side tangents. But I think I wrapped back around to the original question eventually! Thanks for the ask, this was fun to talk about.

#pt asks #not an update

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hasufin · 1 year

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Growth

I made Christmas lunch (does anyone actually do dinner? I have never done a dinner) for my in-laws. This has become a regular thing: they don’t cook and before I married into the family they would get food from Boston Market for Thanksgiving and Honeybaked Ham for Christmas.

The thing is, I wasn’t like always a good cook.

My parents did set out to make sure my brother and I were capable, competent adults by the time we reached adulthood. They taught us to clean, to do laundry, how to pay bills and do taxes, how to do car repair and household chores. And, yes, we learned basic cooking. We could make simple stuff and follow a recipe, and when I got my own place my parents gave me some cookware (not enough, but it was a start).

Yet, my mother was not a great cook. And my grandmother was of the generation which discovered cake mixes and the like. Cooking from scratch was a rare and novel experience in our house. Fresh herbs were never seen, and even the dried ones were sort of cabinet decoration.

My first steady girlfriend - whom I lived with for several years after college - was a much more involved cook. There was stuff she liked making, and she did it well. She taught me about Farmers’ Markets and growing your own herbs, and grinding things right before using them. I want to say I learned a lot from her, but... well, I learned some, but mostly I let her run the kitchen and followed her instructions.

After I broke up with her and moved away, I realized I missed having good food. But I also knew there was nothing really stopping me, I simply wasn’t in the habit of making it myself.

So, I started trying to make better food. It was pretty simple at first. Just things like adding more herbs to the DiGiorno pizzas before putting them in the oven. Making things from the Betty Crocker cookbook. Actually cracking open the Joy of Cooking.

I don’t exactly recall when I decided to go to a Farmers’ Market on my own, but I became a regular. I even got to know some of the vendors. I picked up other - and stranger - cookbooks. Talking with people online, comparing notes - turned out there were a lot of people in my age range who were just learning to really cook.

(I think a lot of it is, we were taught recipes like magic spells which work for no understandable reason; we weren’t really taught as techniques and ideas which we can modify, with an understanding of how they work)

So now I can put out a full traditional Thanksgiving dinner, or I can do something more unusual like kamchubari, akara, and kush, because doing the same thing over and over is boring.

But what I want to be clear about is, fifteen years ago I was sprinkling dried oregano on a frozen pizza. And that’s okay. You start with what you can do. The most important ingredient is interest. It’s not even passion or love. It’s just giving a damn about what you’re doing and caring about the result. If you’ve got that, you can improve.

Remember, though: it took me 15 years to get to where I am now. I’m told it takes 11 years to really master something, and that sounds about right really, if you have the time and resources to work on it. You’re not going to become an incredible cook overnight.You may never become an incredible cook, if you can’t spend hours on making the perfect tomato sauce, or you can’t afford to go to the Farmers’ Market and get fresh strawberries when they’re in season (or be able to afford to sacrifice a quart of them to the gods of “turns out that online recipe is actually awful and food bloggers suck).

That’s all okay. The most important part - and this is true with anything you try - is interest.

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anagramtransitory · 21 days

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15. At the end of the day, all I’m ever really gonna do is what I put my heart into. And while my heart and mind are filled with anger at the rest of the world I can’t focus on myself like I deserve to be able to. Some people only figure that out when it’s too late, some people don’t care. The power and intensity of things I put my heart and mind into is really something to behold. And when I don’t care, I don’t care at all. So anybody that wants anything from me should make sure to not do anything to signal to my my heart shouldn’t be in my work anymore. It’s happened recently, it’ll happen often, but usually, work is worth putting your heart and mind and body and soul into, because anything you put love into you’ll get good results out of. With myself, good results are infinitely possible. With people who treat others like servants: good results are not possible at all in any way that’s worth it and genuine. Again: I don’t get roped into things, into states of effort. It’s a conscious daily choosing to hold ideas in my head or to discard them and take up others. I know I am nothing to them, but I am everything to myself. If I ever want anything I’ll go get it for myself. If I ever have a problem I’ll fix it myself. There is nothing I can do about other people. I can only ever control myself. I can only ever parent myself. My life will never be fun or easy, but that’s what I’ve chosen for myself. I’ve seen fun and easy lives, and I don’t want that for myself, there’s enough of those around to get you sick of anything fun or easy. Here’s what it will be: a continual improvement, a lifetime of gathering cool things and information, a lifetime of giving and getting kindness, a lifetime where I only get stronger in the face of challenges which I conquer alone. Of being tall, and strong, and able/willing to help with a lot of problems others can’t/aren’t, and not owing anybody money, and having insurance, and having all my teeth, and having non-broken glasses, and knowing and trusting myself and fixing myself on a level few people who are scared/financially unable to be alone ever do. I don’t need easy and fun. I don’t want easy and fun. And anyone that demands my life be that way to stick around in it isn’t my type at all, truly. I’m never gonna sell my soul, and I’ll never be in a position to have to anyways. It’ll be a lifetime of being misunderstood at first. It’ll look like I’m cold and obsessed with money. And I will be cold and obsessed with money. But also, I’m powered by love and live based on a philosophy of kindness=strength and kindness/love=meaning. Right now, I have the gift of obvious problems. Soon, I’ll miss it, when people think I’m capable of way more than I am, or that I’m way more normal than I am. That’ll be a hard one to explain: “oh no, I’m not normal, I’m normal but in an abnormal way with abnormal methods of achieving at appearance of functionality.” That’ll sound like a normal thing to do. Fake it till you make it and all that normal stuff. Not: “I am basically insane and have imaginary parents and have so many issues that would horrify you, I’ve seen the worst things in the world with these same eyes and also the best things, I am very intense very large very androgynous and the least stable normal person you’ll be able to find around here by here. If my soul isn’t in every little thing I do I shut down. I live in silence as I have for many many years. (:”People…do not care. I could say all that and people would be unfazed. That’s their problem. They should be fazed, I am a walking possible large problem that doesn’t go away that they don’t want if I decide I don’t like them. I am very friendly. It will hurt when I shut any possible relationship down over and over for years. I will want it to hurt. People are really bothered by conflict that doesn’t get resolved in a way that I am not. I am a snapping turtle. You should be fazed, or have heard anything I just said, if I explain why I shouldn’t be asked to do normal woman things, and I’m being serious. You know who will always listen, though?

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kinetic-elaboration · 8 months

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September 21: Cleaning DAy

Just a quick note tonight because I don’t really know what I want to talk about and just sitting here staring into space really isn’t helping any thoughts come to mind. I took today off to clean my apartment, and I would say it was, on average, a success. I’m glad I did it.

I’ll admit that I didn’t get done a lot of what I wanted to do and part of that is because I was very ambitious/unrealistic with my to do list and part of that was because I decided I wanted to do ALL the laundry and that is just very time consuming. Everything always takes longer than you think it will or should. Everything, always, in all categories of thing.

And the thing is, while I didn’t intend for this to be an ‘entirely laundry’ day, I did need to do all that laundry. I needed to wash clothes so I could have clothes to wear. But I also had so much other stuff in my laundry basket, it was pretty much unusable. So I did six loads today: 2 of all my clothes, 2 of sheets, 1 of towels, and 1 of a table cloth and some misc items which like maybe wasn’t the most necessary but I really wanted to get to Laundry Basket Zero, and I (basically) did. (Minus a pair of socks that were hiding in the bottom.)

So it took a long time even doing 2 loads at once and that’s fine, you know, that’s just how it is. It could not have taken less time. And I managed a few other things: washed my gross-ass sandals, washed as many dishes as I could fit in my dish rack, cleaned out my fridge, decorated for Halloween, and did some general picking up and so on. I also did about an hour last night where I took out trash and recycling and washed a bunch of dishes.

I did not get to cleaning the rest of my kitchen, the surfaces and so on, or pretty much anything bathroom cleaning. I didn’t get to the floors. And I had some less urgent stuff on the list like fixing up the bookshelf corner (I did the really big stuff there a couple months ago but the bookshelves themselves still need some straightening, etc.) that I definitely did not get to.

But honestly, like, it’s only one day. I knew that going in. I couldn’t work miracles but maybe I would get myself to a place where a little bit of cleaning here and there feels plausible and like it will make some sort of difference. I think I accomplished that. I hope. One benefit that I always forget about whenever I spend a while just not doing something I should be doing is that I remind myself that it’s not that complicated. I am capable. There’s no way to type that without sounding like yeah, duh, of course you can do the thing you’ve repeatedly done in the past. But it’s like I forget just how much effort and time it takes and so I can no longer evaluate the task and it becomes harder to start. I just assume it’s way more daunting than it is. That’s true of cleaning but also writing, errands, certain tasks at work, literally everything.

So I am feeling optimistic. I feel like I made an improvement to my life. And… also on the topic of unexpected benefits, it just actually does feel good to spend a day doing something and feeling accomplished. Like, I know it does, this is not an amazing discovery, but I still let myself have too many kinda bad, listless days. This one, even though I didn’t get up quite as early as intended and I did have a nap later on, mostly because my feet hurt from standing so much, I can still look at, like, the list of things I did today and feel happy.

I have to go back to work tomorrow, which feels weird, and I don’t really want to but I also wouldn’t want to figure out tomorrow’s itinerary if I was staying at home, either. And it’s only one day. So hopefully it goes well, nothing weird, and the weather noticeably cooler, and then I can have a good weekend.

#the year 2023 #2023: rl

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sir-klauz · 1 year

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Things I’ve achieved in 2022 after a long time totally floored by depression and some pretty god awful years, excluding Luka being my sunshine for almost 3 of those:

1. Started drawing again.

2. Started reading books again in June for the first time properly since going into education again at 15. So what, about a decade?? I used to read all of the time before then, and have yearned to start over and over buying all kinds of books to no avail.

3. Read 124 books, or graphic novels since June.

I’m not even bloody kidding. This is hyperfocus for you. Thank you to everyone who also inspired me to read again. I was suggested Goodreads by a good friend of mine which introduced me to online tracking my activity which has really really helped as looking at each finished book inspired me to keep going and feel proud again. I now use about 3 other websites for this as well as finally reading comics online properly instead of only physical copies!

Picture of the 5 pages full of Read stuff on one^

And I have 34 on the go that I dip in and out of.

4. Posted chapters publicly of my fiction writing for the first time since I started writing stories in year 2 and trying to go Bard mode telling them all in Show and Tell. No to mention, finishing more than a chapter before getting distracted (ADHD). Currently at

5. Completing a story to the point where I could actually add a prequel style chapter.

6. Achieved having 482 people pick Orange Juice In The Studio up and read it (or the online term for picking up a book/story and reading it), and have 11 fans of the work. Read it here! (It’s adult fiction so no minors please, and any discrimination over it being queer fiction will not be tolerated)

I’ve listed this as a separate achievement as it’s one thing posting something and another having people actually read it. I’m really grateful. I didn’t think anyone would.

7. Started studying again rather than thinking it was worthless and giving up because of how badly I do get distracted and wasn’t helped properly in education for that, and coming to peace now that it didn’t mean I wasn’t capable, because I could achieve a lot in hyperfocus mode or when it was explained a certain way to me I could achieve distinction. The things I started studying/courses I’m involved in are below:

• Aesop’s Fables: Moral Stories, over half way through.

• Beginner Hydrotherapy

I’m also doing a couple diplomas I didn’t get chance to do in college because I was focused on my art career progress. Shocking I’m discovering I like nee things when I’m not being told that’s “Your Thing” all the time and going with it because I had done it all my life and had no idea really what I wanted to do back then except “comic books”.

• Diploma in Biology

• Diploma in Meteorology

And I’ve also created a set list on options I want to do next once done, more options rather than all of them, but eventually university ideally once I hopefully physically improve more as I don’t want to do it online as I wish to go in person for meeting new people and the opportunity for contacts in the field.

• Early Political Philosophies and Ideologies

• Poetry in the Victorian Era

• Japanese for beginners and then hopefully onto a diploma in Japanese Language, and then onto the Introduction of Japanese Scripts.

• Understanding Inflammation

• Ship Construction and Bulkheads

• Diploma in Journalism

• Diploma in Psychology

8. Went to two gigs this year for the first time in a very long time, a big passion I started being unable to do due to physical health. Two of my most favourite bands, it was very special.

9. Went to both gigs alone, like arena gigs I don’t mean smaller ones as I’ve done that before alone. Haha I’m a total adult now or whatever. 😂 But this is actually a pretty big achievement as well because I am disabled and managed it alone which is more than I could even do before which has given me freedom to know I sometimes can. Which I very much couldn’t.

10. I don’t think this is a personal achievement but it an achievement, and it’s something I am most happy about actually happening which is having a medication swap and finally starting to improve physically for the first time in what, 4 years? I actually had the capability to go to a birthday party, I actually went to a gig. I was bedridden for years, in agony, and fatigued. That was something impossible! I still experience flare ups a lot but I can do much more than I could. Likewise coming off of naproxen made me feel mentally on the ball again as it seemed to sedate me I think but it was obviously way more important that I was as painless as possible with how bad it gets. It’s nothing to laugh about that’s for sure. So hey, progress!!!!! This is great news. The car crash threw me backwards on that front though as now there’s two types of pain in similar areas but, I mean that will probably actually heal (torn muscle) and I can resume hopefully the rest continuing to feel better?

11. Attended my first parents evening. Probably looked like this the whole time: 😳

12. Watched a billion anime’s idk I’m not even gonna count, I watch anime every day. Dunno if binge watching is an achievement but it is I think going from being too down to have the capacity to enjoy something that much or keep doing it. So that’s more a focus thing.

13. Finished I think 3-4 of my favourite teenage anime’s which I never finished since I started them at 15. Not sure why. A mixture of keeping focus to follow long anime’s (yes this happens even when you adore the thing), and maybe somehow not wanting them to end.

16. Raising a child! Major achievement!

17. Finally after one thousands years I almost reached Justin Hawkins vocal squeals. Love him, enjoyed the performance he did last night with that alternative universe Happy Kurt Cobain person.

Things I hope for in 2023:

Another cat

Child has a good a year as possible

Try cook more as I enjoy it, as I can’t much due to physical stuff

I clear my giant wardrobe of every style under the sun out and be logical about what to keep

Try and keep drawing but I don’t want to push it anymore so if I don’t have any inspiration to then that’s just it, a shame but I can do other things

Keep focused on study plan but fine if I don’t, I got a lot going on so I’m not gonna pressure myself loads or I’m more likely to stop

Health improves more once this torn muscle managed to recover and see if it’s not damaged anything else further

Travel more, or hopefully the year after and increase that to the extent my body allows for

Get a car

Win all the characters I want on Genshin

#achievements of 2022 #2022 #my year in review

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terrilicious · 2 years

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Shuttercount 5dmiii

SHUTTERCOUNT 5DMIII HOW TO

Off the top of my head I didn’t know a specific answer, but I was aware that Canon makes it tricky and it would most likely involve using some third-party software.

SHUTTERCOUNT 5DMIII HOW TO

It's up to you if it's worth that extra money, what features mean a lot to you and what don't.I had an email come in from a reader asking if I knew how to find out the shutter count for a Canon 5D Mark III. There's also a point of diminishing returns in cameras where you're paying a lot more for slight improvements in certain features. There are times it's worth upgrading, and this might be one of them. I think any camera is a good one if you get good at using it. The outer points are better when you understand how to pick contrast for them to grab, too. From there, if you don't want to focus-recompose, you can always crop (most print / web uses of photos aren't going to be that demanding). I'm amazed with what mine will pick focus on even in terrible light, especially when a lot of people bag it. The centre point is particularly good, so if it's very low light start with that. Some people froth on having more, but it's very capable. You could always start going with the 70D and see how you like it.Īlso, a note on the focus points of the 5D / 6D system. There's advantages and disadvantages to both setups, it's just a matter of what you think you'd use more. Either as a failsafe, or say you're shooting some sort of interview work in a more controlled setting, having two vid cams set up makes it easy to cut between them during a shoot. The 70D is a great camera too, and having a back up 650 on you isn't such a bad thing. Usually I'll take a small prime with me too, f1.4 or something like that to make up for the 24-105's f4 in really low light. It would be nice to have an f2.8 but for me the IS makes up for that - not totally in low light, but the amount it improves your handheld video work is not to be understated. It balances well on the camera, it's pretty sturdy, sharp enough (there are better lenses but again, 99% of the time that difference isn't awesomely noticeable), most of all it covers all of the focal lengths you'll typically need. Throw a system zero follow focus and a rode videomic and you've got a very robust kit.Īs for a lens, the Canon 24-105mm ticks about every box for me. 5Dii delivers admirably on video on it's own. Two, nice pictures (not an issue with any camera really) and great video. For me, weather sealing and a strong body, since I knock the shit outta my cameras and they get dirty all of the time. I have a list of needs that I go for first, everything after that is a bonus. Not that the extra fancy stuff is bad, it can help, but in 99% of situations you won't need it. I think being technically good with your gear (which comes with time) reduces the need for 1000 focus points and all that jazz, because you learn to work with what you've got. I can change any setting on mine in the pitch black, I can take lenses off with my eyes closed, etc etc etc. More important than the specs half of the time are knowing how to work and how to work your camera. Honestly, whatever camera you have, you can make it work. In a lot of ways, the 6D is a better camera.That said, I don't think I've ever felt limited by the 5D. well, whatever's going really), and use a 5Dii. I'm a journo who does a fair bit of tog work (Everything from mag features to. If you plan on using 6D with Tamron 24-70 you should first test that combo, being that the mentioned lens is a third party product (not that I have anything against using 3rd party stuff) designed a few years before 6D so there may be some compatibility issues and the focusing speed could be affected. Other than that the only times I get shots with missed focus is when I do something wrong or the subject moves more than I expected after I recompose (which has nothing to do with the AF system on 6D). Protests are like any other assignment and 6D could only be limited when shooting fast action sports where its frame rate (4.5 frames per second) is a limiting factor and could cause you to miss a decisive shot (compared to 14fps on 1Dx that does not miss a thing). I use center AF point and recompose and also use Servo with back button focusing. I use 6D for photojournalism work on daily basis (mostly with Canon 24-70 and 70-200) and it's AF is fast and precise, although it is limited to 11 points.

#Shuttercount 5dmiii

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sharktaxi7 · 2 years

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Mountain / hill Bikers, Ride Like a Master!

Happen to be your goals exactly like a pro racer? Are you in your 20's or 30's? Expert riders are probably younger, much better, and more competitive than you and the goal is usually to win backgrounds. When I trainer pro racing enthusiasts like Mitch Ropelato and Cody Kelly I realize they aren't much like most motorcyclists. They are the younger versions from me (and now greater versions in me) whenever i raced inside pro type. Being much better, more competitive, and getting paid to do well in races offers pro racing enthusiasts a different goal than the majority avid pile bikers own. Different Goals and objectives require distinct methods. I have discovered quite a few scenarios where you may not want to ride such as a pro and I will talk about them with you in a number of articles. A lot of involve numerous equipment, a few different mindsets, and some totally different skills. Circumstances One Should you Might Not Desire to Ride Like a Expert: Don't Bring Pro Marks when your desired goals are different. Have you ever heard the saying, "don't take the smooth line fast, take the fast line smooth"? I learned that from an important teammate years back. Everyone whoms goal is usually to go as soon as they can, need to understand and live that. We have taught that to my own students for years. Taking the fast line efficiently often means heading straight and using various methods to float over the difficult stuff. Bundle jump, bunny hop or simply just unweight above anything that could possibly slow you down. Therefore pump the backsides from the landing to get speed. Doing this well have been my yoga for years. That keeps me focused, in the moment and it provides instantaneous feedback. The idea rewards you by steering clear of impacts and allowing you to accelerate down the path. You also immediately know in case you mess up whenever you "eat the handlebars" if your bike slows and your body keeps heading, causing you to do a full-strength pushup. What is your objective? Is it for getting fun, ride with more self-confidence, and/or certainly not hurt yourself? Well, depending on your goals you could possibly actually want to take the smooth stripes at method speed! I'm just 54, "taking the easily line smooth" can be strenuous now. Hanging over the harsh stuff frequently takes quickness and mind-blowing movements, two things I obtain myself with less in as I time. I crashed hard on New Year's Moment 2020 and it woke me up. My things have improved, I can't always be broken and supply for my family and I just can't coach when broken. Because the crash, I possess backed away to 90-95% of my former rate. When going that pace, descending differs. I terribly lack the momentum to float over a number of the rough stuff, so often I have to take smooth series fast rather than take the fast line without problems. Taking the clean line extremely fast is actually really fun nevertheless - it won't win any races, nevertheless, you take much less of a winning over. It's much calmer, and you're not overloading your mind with hundreds of split-second decisions one minute. "Don't take smooth lines fast, take fast series smooth" is likewise a relative thing. Imagine me, Aaron Gwin takes way more quickly lines as opposed to me because he is better a lot more stronger than me. Aaron's lines scare the bejesus out of myself! Anything as small or less space-consuming than a Honda Civic the guy just goes through or over, his lines will be insane. Even though they won't terrify Aaron, my own lines may well scare you. Based on each of our goal/s, the fitness, and our capability, what we suppose is the fast line, variations greatly. When i honestly by no means realized the best way mentally stressful it is to ride at the edge of your ability until I decided to back off a tad. The way I have descended for the last 30 years creates a massive hurry, not just an adrenaline hurry and dopamine rush, yet a human brain rush also. It is very intense, similar to a drug, for this reason my addiction. Riding a little bit slower is a completely different outdoor activity, less strong and much more relaxing. Riding like this doesn't put on me away near as much as charging it will. A wise Buddhist once said that our goal isn't enjoyment, the objective is an actually keel. We can make too content and when we have too cheerful we simply can't maintain the idea and we will wreck later. As a young person, I found the fact that defeating. I needed the happiest happy possibly. As a middle-aged man I've truly learned to comprehend the Buddhist wisdom, seemingly, it also applies to mountain biking! When i also skipped a lot of fun marks and actually the #1 of pile biking to acquire fun? http://probiketips.com " I have always located them to be creative when compared to me. Many people playfully search for little "hits" to leap off of as they zig-zag over the trail. That used to drive me almonds! Now I love following all of them, seeing and hitting each of the "fun lines" that I overlooked while searching for the quickly lines.

#website

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