#I know that this is an oversimplification of the thing and that she has tried reaching out to the gods…once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fatedtime · 12 days

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I know there’s a lot of people talking about the culture conflict between Toshiro and Laios, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the class conflict between them too. Mayor’s child or not, Laios is still from the boonies, while Toshiro is waited on hand and foot by a flock of women his family employs to serve his needs. This has 100% stifled Toshiro’s ability to communicate with others, to the point where acknowledging his retainers and thanking them for their efforts is shown as a huge point of growth.

Meanwhile, Laios’s bumbling nature towards Toshiro’s boundaries is very much informed by his lack of knowledge of other people and places. He knows how much it hurt him to see his sister rejected by people whose insular attitudes made her powers frightening to them, so he tries to express overtures of friendship towards Toshiro by being so interested in him that it comes off as frightening instead. While he means well, his lack of knowledge on how to interact with people who are different from him puts Toshiro in a weird spot, and this lack of knowledge isn’t just the autism — it’s where he was born and raised. And it’s something real kids from rural areas go through when they enter more urban spaces. The sorts of social manners that are appropriate there aren’t appropriate elsewhere, and they get seen as… well. Inelegant. Pushy.

If Laios had gotten Hien’s name wrong, she would have decked him. But because it was Toshiro, whose upbringing didn’t give him any conflict resolution skills (because he’s around people who have to bend to his needs*) he doesn’t know how to sort things out with Laios, and grows to resent him. It’s not just the culture, it’s the place he occupies class-wise.

That’s part of why I love Toshiro’s arc — if this was just a culture conflict where Laios commits microagressions against him, as I’ve mostly seen it put, him ultimately learning a lesson would be pretty weird. But it’s not. His upbringing as a noble lord’s son in a BONKERS family has given him certain issues… and Laios helps him confront that, so he can live without regrets.

(*please note, this is a massive oversimplification of what the hell is going on with Toshiro Nakamoto. i just didn't want to write a book.)

#dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #laios touden #also I know that it’s partially because the anime hasn’t gotten there yet #but it’s really weird to me that the microagression conversation is around toshiro and laios #when nothing has suggested the dm world has any real concept of whiteness or white colonialism #laios doesn’t have inherent social power and the reason toshiro doesn’t correct him isn’t because Laios’s whiteness puts him in danger #not that i don't think these differences are worth talking about it's just a lot of the conversation seems to be really loaded #in ways they... aren't in the story????? and also i think strips away some of toshiro's unique situation #there IS a character laios is extremely weird towards that fits that criteria though #and I’m curious how people will respond to that

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evilprincesss · 2 months

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it would be really easy to claim that azula's fatal flaw is her inability to understand love, and the show definitely wants us to believe that given her breakdown, but i think it's a serious oversimplification of her relationship with love.

azula was not shown real, meaningful love as a child. i'm not saying no one loved her period; i very much believe ursa did love her, but she failed to make azula feel loved. my exact opinion on that is frankly quite complicated, but that failure means that azula has grown up not really knowing what it feels like to be loved. however, to say azula doesn't know what love looks like at all is a lie.

ursa was actually the one to show azula what love looked like through her love for zuko. this isn't something azula particularly understands since the only form of anything resembling love (conditional and twisted as it is) that she's ever experienced was from her father in exchange for her excellence, so zuko experiencing a much kinder love from their mother despite his failures is confusing to her. but despite the love conflicting with what azula has been taught in her personal experiences, she still knew that it was love. so to azula, love is not just what ursa felt for zuko, but what she did for him. that is to say, love is sacrifice.

ursa sacrificed herself for zuko. she saved his life at the cost of her own (even if we acknowledge the comics, ursa still gave up her life and memories as she knew them to save zuko). this is the ultimate act of love, and azula knows that. she resents it. mother liked zuko better. mother loved zuko and not her. that's how she sees it because that's how it looked.

but how does that prove that azula understands love? well, it doesn't!

still, azula does something similar to their mother in bringing zuko home with his honor restored. quickly, re the idea of her doing this with ulterior motives: not only is it insane and stupid to suggest that she somehow knew the avatar wasn't actually dead and zuko was aware of this; it also doesn't make sense for her to risk both her reputation/honor in the fire nation and her safety with her father (the man who taught her that fear was the only reliable way) by lying about something so serious when she could just take zuko home as a prisoner if she doesn't love her brother.

but what is azula sacrificing for zuko by bringing him home if it doesn't kill her? aside from the obvious thing she gives up to do this (her status as the heir apparent), azula is also sacrificing her status as their father's preferred child. this might not sound that huge a deal, but this is something zuko has spent his entire life chasing after and envying azula over, and given that their father is the only person who has ever shown azula anything resembling love and the person whose approval is the most important to her, this is massive. their father's approval is the thing azula has based her self-worth on. so much of her identity comes from her pursuit of it, and just like that, azula decides to not just share it with zuko but jeopardize his "love" for her entirely. even if ozai never finds out that zuko wasn't the one who killed the avatar, even if the avatar doesn't somehow come back, azula is directly disobeying his orders by bringing zuko home. he didn't want zuko home as his heir. he wanted zuko home in a prison cell. but azula loves her brother, so she did it anyway, and she goes out of her way to keep him there.

i don't think that azula misunderstands her own motivations in bringing zuko home. she includes him in her activities with her friends, she finds him to console him (to the best of her ability), she's worried that he's angry with her, she asks him to open up to her, she advises him not to do reckless things that could get him branded a traitor, she tries to get him to tell her if they need to be worried about the avatar, and she covers up his mistakes in front of their father. she's extremely rough around the edges, but she's trying. she wants him to keep being the crown prince. she wants him to become the fire lord when their father abdicates or dies. she wants him to be home. she knows that. she acts with that in mind.

so azula knows that even fear can fail. she knows that she herself is an example of someone who does something dangerous and irrational for the sake of someone she loves. she understands what it means to love someone.

here's the catch, though: azula understands love in the context of filial piety. she's rationalized her love for her brother making her behave irrationally because he is her older brother. she's supposed to love him. if you want to see my thoughts about this see this post, but azula expects people to act within the confines of the roles they are defined by within society. in her mind, these roles are those that compose the five cardinal relationships: ruler-subject, father-son, elder brother-younger brother, husband-wife, and friend-friend. while her love for her older brother makes her act in a way that directly conflicts with the first two roles expected of her (ruler and daughter), she justifies it to herself with the piety she owes her brother. she likely refuses to examine it any further than that because to admit that she's acted against filial piety would seriously conflict with everything she's been raised up to be.

so why does she overlook the friend-friend role with others? with mai and ty lee, specifically? it's not because she doesn't understand love at all; it's because she thinks that because zuko so brazenly opposed his role as subject, son, and elder brother that he has forfeited his right to any love or loyalty from any of them (though i highly doubt that she doesn't love him anymore at this point; love is not a switch to be flipped on or off after all), so for mai to betray azula, her friend and the crown princess, as well as their country is unfathomable to azula. and for ty lee to betray her for mai, who has just opposed filial piety the same way zuko did? it just doesn't make sense.

azula understands love, but she will only allow herself to understand it through the lens of duty.

#atla #azula #i won't even get into what this means for her relationship with her mom but it's painful

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serpenera · 8 months

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One of the things that most irks me in the HP, and especially Snape discourse, is the misinterpretation of the meaning of the patronus. The general consensus seems to be that the shape of the patronus indicates one’s true love but that is a massive oversimplification that creates numerous inconsistencies. In other words, when we look at it like that, the patronus makes NO SENSE. Except the patronus makes PERFECT SENSE. Just let me explain.

The patronus, as we know, is a charm that repels Dementors - an anthropomorphized representation of clinical depression. Keep that in mind as this is important. You conjure it by focusing on a happy memory or should I rather say a happy thought.

Memory is the word Lupin uses when he first explains the patronus to Harry and I’d argue this is the reason why Harry initially fails at conjuring one. He remembers his first time on a broom and winning the house cup. Both happy memories to doubt but “not powerful enough” as Lupin puts it. So what makes a powerful memory?

Harry tries again and succeeds by focusing on the memory of finding out he was a wizard and would be leaving the Dursleys and going to Hogwarts. What makes this memory different than the other two is that it wasn’t just that of a fleeting moment of glee but of an event that marked a major change in Harry’s life, a change for the better. Yes, it was a moment from the PAST but one that influenced Harry’s PRESENT and FUTURE.

See, this is the key to understanding the patronus. The trick is not to remember a happy past long gone, it’s to find something in the past that gives you a reason to move forward. Anyone, who’s ever been depressed to the point of wanting to off themselves will know what I’m talking about here. And those who don’t, good for you.

Anyway, back to Harry. When he conjures his first fully corporeal patronus at the end of PoA, he thinks of going to live with Sirius. And when he uses the spell again in GoF he thinks of celebrating the end of the Tournament with Ron and Hermione. In both cases, he doesn’t even recall an event of the past but projects into the future. And note that regardless of whom or what he thinks of (and not once does he think of his dad), his patronus stays a stag. Even after his love and admiration for James falters due to the discovery of SWM, his patronus stays a stag. This is because the stag, while visually traceable back to James, does not represent James as a person but rather a concept that James himself is a representation of. The stag stands for family, legacy, and a sense of belonging. What keeps Harry moving forward despite all the obstacles is not the mere memory of having had a dad once, it’s the realization that he’s not alone in the world, that he has friends who care about him, and that he’s part of a community.

If we look at the patronus through this lens we can logically explain the shape and origin of all the major ones present in the books.

Snape is often accused of being a stalker incel and whatnot because (apparently) his doe patronus is the same as Lily’s.

First of all, did you pull that information out of your ass? ‘Cause I checked and nowhere in the book(s) does it say what shape her patronus was. The same goes for James. He was a stag animagus. We don’t know what shape his patronus was. That, assuming they both even knew the charm. Although, as Order members, they probably did. If they hadn’t learned it at school, Dumbledore or another Order member would’ve taught them.

Okay, for the sake of this argument, let’s assume that James’ patronus was in fact a stag and Lily’s was a doe and also that the animals represent them respectively. People will argue that the fact the patronuses match (they don’t actually cause they’re two different species of deer but never mind) implies they were each other’s soulmates. To back that argument they will cite Tonks’ patronus which changed into a wolf after she fell in love with Lupin. At the same time, they will argue that Snape’s doe indicates an unhealthy obsession with Lily. Can you spot the issue with this reasoning?

Snape’s and Tonks’ cases are analog: their patronuses turn into animals related to the other person. And yet in Snape’s case, it’s obsession, and in Tonks’, it’s love?

Lily/James and Tonks’ cases are opposite: Lily/James patronuses turn into animals related to themselves while Tonks’ turns into one related to her love interest. But in both cases, it’s true love?

If Snape’s obsessed with Lily then Tonks is obsessed with Lupin and Lily and James are just obsessed with themselves. Contrarily, if Tonks loves Lupin then Snape loves Lily, and Lily and James, again, just love themselves respectively. Moreover, if you follow either logic, Harry is obsessed / in love with James and Dumbledore with Fawkes.

See how none of that makes ANY SENSE whatsoever? Also, no, it’s not a plothole. Y’all are just looking at it wrong. Now let’s rewind and analyze all of these the same way we did with Harry’s at the beginning of this rant.

James’ case is very straightforward. Similarly to Harry, James finds meaning in the traditional idea of family, clan legacy, and belonging. Remember how on the train to Hogwarts he says he wants to be a Gryffindor just like his dad? That, in my opinion, is already very telling, and considering that right after school James marries the girl he decided would be the future mother of his children and promptly gets her pregnant we can easily deduce what he values and what he believes his higher purpose to be. When facing a Dementor and being consumed by despair, perhaps remembering the loss of his parents and perceived betrayal of his best friends, in order to push through he certainly focuses on his wife and especially his son.

Lily’s doe patronus has nothing to do with Snape. Or with James for that matter. Instead, it has everything to do with Harry. See, many real-life women who find themselves at the edge of despair for one reason or another declare they only push forward because of their children. I think Lily is no different. I mean, she did die trying to protect her child. So I think that facing a Dementor, she thinks of Harry. Her wish to be there for her son and protect him is what keeps her going forward despite everything. She has to be strong because she is needed and that is what her doe stands for.

The doe and the stag, somewhat complementary animals, both symbolize family-related but very different concepts. The stag carries a distinctly masculine meaning, that of the passing of legacy and prolonging the bloodline. The doe has a more feminine feel, that of nurturing and protecting.

Snape’s patronus is the same animal as Lily not because he loves her or is obsessed or even just friends with her. It’s the same because both these characters find purpose in the same thing: being needed.

While for Lily this mindset seems to stem from her motherhood, for Snape it seems to have always been there and for very a different reason. The severe neglect he experienced in his early childhood conditioned him to always seek external validation. It’s as if he couldn’t find value in himself unless someone else found it in him. This is why he was trying so hard to be useful to Lily when they first became friends. This is why he got himself groomed by the Death Eaters. This is also why he was so easily manipulated by Dumbledore.

Speaking of Dumbledore, he has to have taught Snape the patronus charm and it must have happened sometime between his defection and the Potters’ death. Now imagine what that might have looked like.

Dumbledore explains how the patronus works. Snape tries, recalling one of his happy childhood moments with Lily, and fails. He chooses another memory and fails again. Dumbledore tells him it has to be something really powerful. Snape is out of ideas, the only happy memories he has are of his childhood friendship with Lily but that friendship is over, it has been for a while, she’s married to his bully and having his child, and on top of that, she’s being targeted by Voldemort and it’s all his fault. Reminiscing their past together is nowhere near enough to fuel the patronus. Then Snape projects into the future in which thanks to him, Lily is safe, she forgives him for his past mistakes and they make up. This time he successfully conjures his trademark doe.

I imagine that, after Lily died, Snape would have had trouble producing a patronus. That would be until Dumbledore pointed out how even in death she still needed him to protect her child. He would then focus on a future in which Voldemort is defeated, Harry is safe, his debt with Lily is paid and his sins are redeemed.

Dumbledore knows that Snape’s doe patronus is related to Lily but it’s probably because he taught him the charm himself and in doing so he learned that it was thoughts and memories of her that fueled it. Not because it was (presumably, mind you) the same shape as hers.

That said, I’m firmly convinced that if Snape had survived the war he would again have had trouble producing a proper patronus, not because of any change in his feelings towards Lily but rather because with Harry safe and Voldemort gone, he’d find himself lacking a purpose. If, for example, he got himself involved with someone else, someone who would make him feel needed, he might be able to produce a patronus again but it would most certainly remain a doe.

Tonks’ patronus is an interesting one because it actually changes its shape in the course of the narrative. We know it became a wolf after Tonks fell in love with and started dating Lupin.

Yes, it’d be easy to assume that the wolf represents the character whose name is literally Wolfy McWolf and who’s also a werewolf but that would be both shallow and inaccurate.

Tonks’ wolf, not unlike Lily and James’ stag and dear, is symbolically tied to the concept of family and friendship. We don’t know what drove Tonks forward before she became involved with Lupin but we can easily deduce that what drives her afterward is the thought of being with him. When she conjures her patronus, she probably thinks of a future in which they have a proper relationship or perhaps start a family. When Snape makes a dab at her patronus he isn’t just being mean. Knowing Lupin, he probably expects him not to take responsibility for his actions towards Tonks and wiggle out of the relationship the moment things get a little bit too serious for his liking. In saying her patronus is weak he’s trying to warn her not to put her faith in Lupin.

In the end, I’d like to mention Dumbledore’s patronus. Just like a phoenix is reborn from its ashes, Dumbledore rises up from the pit of his troubled youth. When in the vicinity of a Dementor, he must be plagued by thoughts of his misplaced aspirations, of Ariana’s death, and his fall out with Grindelwald. The thought I believe he focuses on in those moments is that of having rehabilitated himself in the eyes of society, and having ultimately become a champion of the light.

#harry potter meta #Patronus meta #Patronus

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hard-core-super-star · 8 months

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A request for hailee x reader. Reader is Hailees' main backup dancer. There are edits of the two over the years, fans speculate that the two are together due to the tension between them in said edits and videos.

one step forward, three steps back [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: when hailee tries to convince you to ride the publicity wave and appear in her new music video, you’re forced to accept the truth of your feelings for her.

warnings: the weirdest mix of angst and fluff you've ever seen; stubborn idiots arguing instead of being honest; quite possibly the most dialogue i've ever written for one fic; one mention of the JA stunt because i am still bitter about it

wordcount: 1.6k

a/n: rubix stop mentioning sunkissing in everything challenge. don't mind me, just trying to manifest hailee's music back to life...pun absolutely intended. [ever write a song so gay you have to go into hiding as soon as it comes out? i'm sure taylor swift knows the feeling all too well] anywho, i got a little carried away with this one and it shows. hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

If someone had told you your entire life would be flipped on its head just from a few short video edits and a trending hashtag you would have called them mad. Unfortunately, Emily Dickinson had a point when she said,“Much madness is divinest sense.”

The ‘madness’ in this case was the sheer amount of people who had started spreading the before-mentioned videos around and the ‘sense’ being your incredibly obvious feelings for the person who was essentially your boss. It’s a bit of an oversimplification, and the biggest reason you have not to tell Hailee the truth, but the point still stands.

You still have no idea how things got blown so out of proportion since the speculation around you two has been swirling around since day one. Clearly, not having any new music projects to focus on has driven her fans into madness.

It would be fine…if you and Hailee were still on speaking terms.

Are you being dramatic? Maybe a little but your friendship or relationship or whatever the hell it was that you two had going on at some point isn’t what it used to be. The blame isn’t entirely on her but your own bitterness about the situation tends to cloud your judgment sometimes…okay, most of the time.

Right now is a perfect example of it.

You’ve been staring at your phone for what feels like hours, mentally debating if you should give in and reply to Hailee’s text. You really, really, don’t want to but what other choice do you have? It’s not like you can ignore her forever, you’ve already promised her you’ll join her on her next tour, whenever it finally happens.

You decide to suck it up and agree to meet her for coffee. The last thing you need is to be seen hanging out with her right now but you’re sure it’s all part of the plan. A plan that probably didn’t come from the singer herself, but rather from the group of people who act like they want the best for her but are really just trying to sell her image like it’s a product.

Because who cares about morals and dignity as long as you get streams on your music, right?

You shove your bitter thoughts out of your mind for now and focus on getting ready to see Hailee again.

The hours simultaneously feel like seconds and eternity and before you know it, you’re sitting at a semi-secluded table in a random coffee shop with your knee bouncing up and down like there are ants crawling up your pants. No amount of breathing exercises or grounding techniques can stop your heart from hammering in your chest from the mere thought of the brunette.

You’re not sure what she wants from you, you just have a bad feeling about it. Although maybe that’s your broken heart talking, you can’t be sure.

You notice her the second she walks in and you do an awful job at pretending you’re looking at something on your phone instead of her. You act like you can’t see the smile on her face from this distance just like she acts like she can’t see you. Both of you look ridiculous but neither of you mind.

She finally joins you after another eternity of waiting and despite all the questions that are swirling around in your brain, you force yourself to wait for her to go first.

“I need your help with something.”

After months of not talking to each other, that’s what she leads with. You would complain about her lack of greeting but you’re grateful she’s getting right to the point so you can wrap this up and go back to avoiding your feelings. “That’s a bold start.”

She rolls her eyes, more out of habit than anything else. “It’s been five seconds, are we going to fight already?”

“I guess that depends on what you want me to do,” you reply.

“I want you in the SunKissing music video. We finally got the green light for it and it’s the perfect way to take advantage of all the buzz around the two of us.”

You can’t help but wonder if she’s joking. The ‘buzz’ around you two is just people speculating and piecing together the history Hailee has spent so long ignoring and rewriting. History that’s filled with arguments. bitter kisses, unspoken confessions and stolen glances.

You force the memories out of your mind. Along with the weird ache you feel every time you focus on Hailee’s eyes.

“Me dancing in the background of your music video isn’t going to be a trending topic, Hailee.”

She shrugs. “It will be if we kiss.”

“You’re joking,” you say, unable to hide the way her words take you by surprise.

“I’m serious.”

“You’re choosing now to come out? You think this will make everyone forget about your little stunt with the QB?”

Your mention of the New York stunt hits her hard and if you’re being honest, that’s exactly why you brought it up. You’re not interested in turning your private life into Hailee’s next big scandal. Even if it means pissing her off until she changes her mind.

The way she clenches her jaw is all you need to know you’re not going to like her next words. “It’s not a coming out. It’s an acting project.”

“You’re never going to change are you?” You ask, not sure whether to be impressed or disappointed by her idea.

“Come on, y/n.” She leans forward and places her hand on top of yours. You half-expect a camera flash to accompany the action but you seem to be safe for now. “You know you’re the only person I trust with this.”

Her words would be cute if you hadn’t fallen for them already. Multiple times. It’s always been the same way with her. She gives you a few months of her attention, makes you believe your unspoken affections aren’t one-sided, just to rip it away from you the second you think you’ve made progress.

“You’re the last person in this room who should be talking about trust.”

“Oh my God!” She leans back, her hand slipping away from you and taking any hope of avoiding an argument with it. “When are you going to let that go?”

You’re not even sure what she thinks you’re upset about this time. The list is so long, she could be referencing anything and be completely right. And yet somehow, you’re the one who’s in the wrong for still being upset.

“When you apologize for being a piece of shit,” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Which it is. To you, anyway.

The brunette across from you clearly doesn’t feel the same. “That’s unfair.”

“Leading someone on is unfair, Hailee.”

“You are so stubborn. How the hell did I ever sleep with you?”

You can’t tell if she’s joking or not but either way, you don’t want to hear another word from her.

“I’m leaving,” you say as you rise to your feet, ignoring your half-finished drink and the flash of regret that passes through those brown eyes you can’t help but love.

“Shit, shit, y/n, wait!”

“I already did wait or did you forget about that too?”

You don’t give her a chance to answer instead choosing to ignore her rushed apology and walking away like you should have done when this whole conversation started.

You make it about six feet away from the entrance when you hear Hailee’s voice calling after you. “Will you do it if I tell you it was my idea?”

It’s a desperate attempt for your attention and yet you fall for it all the same. Everything inside of you is telling you to leave but you can’t. Not when you’re this close to getting her to be honest with both herself and you.

“If it’s the truth,” you respond with your back still facing her.

“It is.” The scent of her perfume overwhelms you as her hands grip your waist. You fight back the urge to move away from her and allow her to turn you around to look at her. “I told my label it would be good publicity but honestly…I just really miss you.”

You can’t stop yourself from laughing. The sound comes out softer than you thought possible. “You couldn’t call like a normal person?”

“We’re not normal people, y/n,” she says, the ghost of a smile lingering on her lips. “You know that better than anyone. You know me better than anyone.”

“Do I?”

She takes a step closer to you and you hate the way your eyes instantly drop down to her lips. It’s an instinct that no amount of time away from her can rewrite. “Let me prove it to you. Please.”

“You’re not going to fix this with a few kisses, Hailee.”

There’s an unspoken promise in her eyes. One that says she’ll kiss you as many times as she has to until she proves you wrong. And you have no doubt that she will.

Her hands move up from your waist to cup your cheeks. Her movements are slow and careful almost as if she’s waiting for you to change your mind.

In a way, you do because whatever remaining doubt you had about your feelings for the brunette fades away in an instant. You push away all your hesitation and close the gap between your lips.

It’s the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared. It’s full of almost inaudible sighs, gentle touches, and the overwhelming truth of your desires. Mainly, the desire to keep going.

“One chance,” you whisper as you pull away. “I’ll help you with the music video. I’ll let you in again. Don’t make me regret it.”

“Promise.”

You’re about to tell her not to make promises she can’t keep but she kisses you again before you get the chance to.

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x female reader #hailee steinfeld x you #hailee steinfeld x y/n #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfeld fluff #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld fanfiction #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #wlw #wlw fic #writing

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broodwolf221 · 7 months

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i have a feeling this might be one of my more contentious bits of meta, but - cullen positive!

i just think... i understand why people don't like him and a lot of it is fine, but i feel like there's also some misunderstandings or oversimplifications going around

first: templar = bad.

as an organization, yes! as individuals, no! templars are like horrible magic cops, that's bad, but we have to keep in mind that a lot of them - including alistair, including cullen - were given over to the chantry when they were very young and indoctrinated into becoming templars. some join later in life and those i take more issue with, but the ones who were given over to it young? i find it hard to blame them for becoming templars

second: it's a religious calling.

there's a huge amount of religious/cultural pressure to conform to chantry teachings, and this is the way someone who's not cut out to be a chantry member can still conform and gain social standing and respect. there's also the strong chantry pressure of Mages Are Bad, Actually, so the templars are seen as something of a divine protector of the innocent. obviously this is fucked up and inaccurate, but it's worth noting that the pressure and social gains are real, and that even lower-class citizens seem able to become templars. and if someone was only good at fighting, had little to no educational background, and still wanted to support themselves or their family? what are their choices? become a mercenary, criminal, or become a templar.

third: lyrium

after they take their vows, they're given their first draught of lyrium. so... let's look at this critically for a second. children given over, taught that mages are bad, that templars are good, that the chantry is good, that the chantry teachings are real, and that their faith would be rewarded. they're even schooled by the chantry, so they have little to no access to any points of view outside of it. then, if appropriate, they're asked: do you want to be a templar? and if they say yes, if they take their vows, they're given a drug that creates a profound dependency.

fourth: okay, but this was supposed to be about cullen?

and it is! bc cullen turned his back on all that. i'm not saying he didn't make mistakes - he's not saying he didn't make mistakes, horrible ones! but meredith lied to him in order to keep him committed, because she knew he wouldn't approve of what she was doing.

on a personal level, he was: indoctrinated into a cult (yeah i'm calling the chantry/the templar order a cult bc it is); tortured by the exact thing he was taught to fear and revile; following that torture, tried once again to return to the one thing he knew how to do and was deceived and led astray by a brutal commander who he wouldn't have followed if he'd known what was happening. and what did he do with all that?

he turned away. he rejected it. he rejected a large part of his upbringing, his sociocultural heritage, his faith, his indoctrination - and, oh yeah, his addiction. as a recovering addict, i find his story frankly amazing. he's willing to die to distance himself from what he now knows the templar order to be.

and cole mentions that cullen is one of the good ones when you ask him about templars. cullen has a lot of shit to unpack and a lot of trauma around magic and mages, and he's been cruel and contributed to a brutal system, but he's also grown a lot. like... it must have been so hard. he rejected everything. and sure, now he's serving the inquisition, another facet of the chantry, but even then... it's not the same, not at all. for one, the inquisition and the chantry are constantly at odds.

so he rejected everything he was taught, everything he was trained in, all that his significant trauma taught him, and the pull of addiction. he's changing himself. he's learning and growing. he's catching the remains of his own prejudice. again: if you don't like him, that's fine, i get it. he's far from perfect. but i really appreciate characters who take it upon themselves to question their beliefs, to grow and learn and change.

so yeah. i like him.

#broodmeta #cullen positive #cullen rutherford #honestly i think im gonna end up doing at least one meta post on a LOT of da characters lmao i have Thoughts

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cosmicjoke · 6 months

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I find Isabel and Levi's friendship adorable. Like he took her in from the streets when she was dying and cared for her like a Lil sister. And Isabel calling him big brother.

Do you think Levi still remembers her (post rumbling) and gets sad sometimes?

Also what are you views regarding how Levi raised Isabel? I tend to think Levi more as a parent when it comes to him taking care of Isabel than a brother.

Hi there!

I absolutely adore Levi's relationship with Isabel. I think, if you look at his relationship with her, it in many ways encapsulates who Levi really is as a person. Just an incredibly kind and caring man. The fact he found Isabel dying in the streets and took her in says it all. I always say that it was no doubt easier to Levi to survive on his own in the Underground, but he decided to take care of two people in Furlan and Isabel anyway, probably making his own survival more difficult. But that's Levi for you. He's always tried to help people, even when it makes his own life harder.

He undoubtedly remembers both Isabel and Furlan post-Rumbling. Whenever anyone asks me who were the people closest to Levi in his life, I say Furlan and Isabel. They were his family, really. The only people who understood the world he came from and the hardships he faced, because they faced them too.

In terms of how Levi raised Isabel, it's an interesting question. I don't know how old Isabel was when Levi found her, but I'm assuming she must have been pretty young, since she seems young in the manga/anime. We know Levi was extremely protective of her. People always talk about that scene in "No Regrets", when he apparently kills some people who were messing with her. I've seen people try to accuse Levi of having an outsized reaction here, saying he killed those people for "cutting Isabel's hair", which is a ridiculous oversimplification of the scene and what's really going on. Levi killed them (presumably) because they were threatening Isabel's life, and possibly even threatening sexual assault against her. We know from the scene that Isabel had run into these men before, that she apparently was hanging out with them in some capacity. When she comes back, she's crying and extremely upset, she has a bloody nose, if I remember correctly, which tells us she was beaten up, and Levi and Furlan notice her hair has been cut. When they ask her what happened, she gets furiously mad and runs away, and we later see her lying in bed, still crying and wishing she could kill the men that did this to her. The idea of someone holding Isabel down (a young girl, we have to remember) and cutting her hair, has a heavy implication of sexual assault to me. We know for a fact that sex trafficking rings are a thing in the Underground, and knowing Levi's own experience with that, and what his own mother had to endure, he was no doubt hyper-vigilant against that kind of thing happening to Isabel.

Anyway, I think Levi was likely just very protective of her, but he also let her make her own choices and didn't keep her isolated or off the streets or anything like that. He allowed her freedom. I don't think Levi likely saw himself as a father figure for Isabel, but more like a big brother, because Levi never tried to exercise any real authority over her or Furlan. We never see him trying to tell them what to do, really. He tries in the anime version of "No Regrets" to tell them they can't come on the expedition, but that's just out of fear for their lives, and they pretty easily convince him later to let them come. He let them make their own choices and considered them to be his equal when it came to decision making, even though he was kind of the de facto leader of their little group. Near the end of the story, when Levi lays out the plan for him to go after Erwin and for Furlan and Isabel to stay behind, Furlan asks Levi if it's an "order", and Levi hesitates and says "Why does it have to come down to that?". So he never tried to control either of them, or exercise any power over them. I think, more than anything, Levi just wanted to help them realize their dreams, which is why he agreed to go through with Furlan's plan of accepting Lobov's offer and joining the SC in the first place.

I basically figure Levi just did all he could to provide for both of them, making sure they had enough food and had shelter, etc... I also wrote a one-shot story about this too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33966748 And that's sort of what I imagine when it comes to Levi's role in their group. I think he probably took on the responsibility of being the provider. He probably saw it as his job to protect them and take care of them as much as he could.

#Levi Ackerman #Isabel Magnolia #Furlan Church

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choices-binglebonkus · 1 year

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I'm not a Jocelyn fan either. She's toxic and vile, but I find her more compelling in a lot of ways than say, Lily Ortiz – especially when the writers want the readers to see Lily as this pure as the driven snow angel who can do no wrong. Jocelyn is horrible, but she did put her life at personal risk to save others at Homecoming paid a steep price for it. She was also hit hard by Cody's death, so there's some humanity there too, even if it's just a drop.

There’s a lot to this ask so I’m going to tackle the littler bits first, starting with the ILITW cast and their weaknesses.

The It Lives characters are all incredibly flawed in their own ways. Their stans don’t think they’re innocent: they acknowledge and embrace those flaws because those are what make the characters so human.

Ava’s biggest flaws are that she’s kind of reckless, and that she’s sarcastic toward people who are easily angered which endangers her.

Andy’s biggest flaw is that he gets angered very quickly, though he has good reasons for it, he still does fly off the handle at times. Anger leads to rash and not very well thought out decisions, which can very easily get you hurt or killed, especially in a horror series.

Stacy’s biggest flaw (which we do see going away as the book goes on) is her fixation with appearance and status.

Lucas’s biggest flaws are unwillingness to ask for help and biting off more than he can chew, which are also behaviors that are dangerous enough in real life, but potentially deadly in horror series.

I can’t really say what Dan’s biggest flaws are because we get so little interaction with him in the series, and all of Noah’s flaws can be attributed to the trauma he’s faced throughout his life, as even before Jane died, his parents had a lot of issues with their marriage, which was something he was aware of and tried to shield his sister from.

If Noah dies and takes Jane’s place, the ILITW crew is shown and stated to be completely unaware of it, the MC being the only person who knows of Noah’s true fate. Given this, the same could probably be said if the MC dies and takes Jane’s place. It’s not that the ILITW crew used the MC: they simply aren’t aware of the true nature of their death.

And given all the chaos and trauma that took place in the book, it’s perfectly understandable why the ILITW crew would want to move on in their lives without revisiting the ordeal more than they need to. I’d probably do the same. However, they’re more than willing to help out in ILB, and they still meet for pizza every year so they never fall out of touch and never forget what happened and those they lost.

It also makes sense why the MC can’t and won’t let go of their supernatural experience. Jane, their best friend, died right before their very eyes, was stuck as a shadow monster for a decade, and then Jane’s brother Noah (who arguably becomes MC’s closest friend as a result of their shared loss) dies and takes her place. The MC probably feels some survivor’s guilt and feels as if they’re to blame for what happened, and wants to make it right by “fixing” things if they can, which is why they’re devoted to becoming a monster hunter/tracker.

None of these characters are perfect. Absolutely none of them. But what person is? To have a flawless, completely innocent character who has done absolutely no wrong is completely unrealistic.

Moving onto Lily, who I’ll admit isn’t my favorite of the bunch.

It is true that the ILITW crew is dealing with some heavy shit. Abuse, blackmail, estrangement, familial neglect, PTSD, struggles with identity, struggles with ostracism. That is very true.

However.

Lily’s big life-or-death issue isn’t merely that her crush doesn’t like her back, that’s kind of an oversimplification. She’s mercilessly bullied because she’s fat (and maybe there’s a bit of homophobia thrown in there too, I’m not actually 100% sure) and she’s preyed upon by her crush and her crush’s friend who think manipulating Lily and humiliating her on homecoming night is funny.

Lily is not a physically strong character. She can’t fight, she runs away, and is generally no help in a fight. But not every character can realistically be an action hero and badass. She also suffers from low self-esteem from the bullying (which she mentions occurred throughout her childhood as well) and has little to no confidence.

To be frank, to say she thrives off of playing the victim comes across as victim-blaming.

Lily does shove Ava and yell at her for almost killing Jocelyn in the fight, and I’m not trying to excuse that because that’s pretty harsh, but I’d probably chalk her reaction up more to adrenaline and fear than trying to pin all the blame onto her. Lily did foreshadow early on in the book that the monster could enthrall Ava using her powers and was probably aware that the monster had some form of control over her during the fight.

Additionally, she doesn’t seem to give Jocelyn a free pass either: she was visibly scared and upset during the fight where Jocelyn had the upper hand and after all is said and done, the principal is the one who tells her (and Stacy) to help Jocelyn to the nurse’s office.

Lily doesn’t blame Ava and doesn’t hold any rancor over the fight after everything has settled down. Her reaction is pretty much on par with everyone else’s emotions in the ILITW crew after the fight: fear, helplessness, and guilt. I mean, she almost watched someone get strangled to death in front of her.

She does acknowledge the possibility that Britney changed and began treating her better because of Redfield, but doesn’t want it to be true. She acknowledges it and probably deep down knows it’s true, but still wants to give Britney a chance because they used to be close in childhood. She even states at one point that Britney used to defend her from bullying when they were young. Lily wants to give Britney a chance to change because she remembers all those fond memories as kids, but also, her confidence is so depleted from the years of bullying that she just wants someone, anyone to show some semblance of care for her, even if it isn’t completely genuine.

Hell. I’ve been bullied throughout my whole life, and I’ve dated people who treated me like absolute shit just because they paid attention to me. Lily is absolutely the type to do the same. I empathize.

Should Lily survive the events of ILITW, she goes on to create a successful indie video game with a sequel in the works. That didn’t surprise me because she mentions having gone to a coding camp, and she also had a 4.5 GPA in high school. She’s used her wildly smart brain and incredible drive to find her own success and further her own life, just like everyone else from the ILITW crew.

Which is why your statement about everyone else bettering their lives “while she gorges on pizza” comes across as incredibly and unapologetically fatphobic.

Lily is not my personal favorite. She’s actually my least favorite of the ILITW crew. But every character brings something to the group. Lily is timid, meek, and suffers from a lack of confidence. She’s not a fighter and she’s frequently terrified throughout the book.

But she still helps the group. She helps research, she helps obtain the hospital records when the group visits Dan, she risks life and limb to go into the woods and perform the binding ritual, and she does it again to save Andy. She faces her fears time after time after time.

So in a way, though Lily is fearful and afraid throughout the book, she’s actually the bravest character of them all.

#asks #anon i truly do not know if some of what you said was meant to come across as victim-blaming or fatphobic #but some of it very much did #i am just letting you know so you are aware of it #tw: fatphobia #tw: bullying mention #it lives in the woods #choices it lives in the woods #choices ilitw #ilitw #lily ortiz #it lives series #it lives #it lives anthology #long post #choices stories you play #choices stories you play fandom #playchoices #choices stories we play

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eldritch-araneae · 1 year

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Alright, I’m finally watching Earthspark and originally I was planning to watch all episodes and just give my thoughts this version of Bumblebee, but know I’m thinking I wanna write about all episodes as I watch. My mind going so fast abd want to talk ahahaha.

I will tag and hide under the cut, BIG SPOILERS below.

So the first two episodes.

- I like the family dynamic in Malto’s family, like it’s not ideal, but there is a communication esp when Robby tells to his parents that they don't listen to him and Mo about the move, which tells me that while Dot can be intimidating to some degree (like kids are afraid that if they tell them about Terrans knowing them will be take away) but not as much that Robby would be afraid to speak up.

- The fact the Terrans are TECHNORGANIC???

Like I tried hard to track down spoilers, and I saw not a single mention about this HeLOO?? Yo I love this.

- Mandroid seems interesting to me. Because the way he talks about being of two worlds and belonging nowhere, and how Terrans are not unlike him

Sure, it could be about the fact he wears Hardtop’s arm, but the way he talks about it? It feels a bit deeper, esp he gets angry as Thrash’s nickname how its “gross oversimplification”. Of this can be for the drama, and Mandroid just being dramatic, but this made me thinking that possible he’s a technorganic human!

Like cmon, he just attached an arm from an alien species to his body and it works! Like cmon, it has to be more!

Is he experimented on himself? Or he has an experiment? I guess we will find out.

- Also liked the taxonomy! Cybertronians from Cybertron are Cybertonus Cybetronii while terrans he named Cybertronus Terran. I wonder how matrtian cybs would be called?

- Well I guess we know where missing Decepticons are? Mandroid got some biiig plans huh.

And Hardrop who was just captured earlier.

Notice how their all have wtite optics and even have their own Madroid insignia! Also Elita commenting:

( Elita is so pretty I love her already yes!)

So Mandroid captured cons, braniwash them to serve him. And after the fight you will see that Hardrop came back to his senses, but otehrs seem did not?? Like Insecticon’s optics are still white. Curious, very curious.

- The dynamic between Twitch and Thrash, I cant wait to see more. Thrash is on gentle side of things ( also Mo influencing him to pick an alt-mode aww) and Twitch is so fast and eager to explore what she can do!

- Bc the twins and terrans are bonded, including emotionally so they write it the same way I write my Bumblebee who can sense ppl’s feelings))

-Alex Malto is me, seeing his fanboying when Bee appears. Yeah buddy, me too. Also the fact that Alex could tell it was Bee saved him bc he recognized the transformation sequence sound! And in this moment if DID sound higher pitched!

- Bee saving animals with Dot, amazing ahahaha

I could write more, bc I have other 9 episodes to watch so here we go!

#transformers earthspark spoilers #earthspark spoilers #tfe spoilers #ara talks

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dgcatanisiri · 8 months

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I understand the argument that Riley being upset about Buffy "not paying him enough attention" while her mother is sick, but I've always said that it's an oversimplification - that what's going on is that Buffy is not trusting him with her weakness in this time, that he wants to be there to support her, and she is actively pushing him away and not letting herself be weak.

But y'know, I think another thing that really hammers home how Riley at least had a valid point in all of this, even if it was buried under the whole vampire feeding thing... How does he learn about Joyce going into the hospital, having the overnight stay, the CAT scan that revealed her tumor?

He goes to Buffy's house while the Summers women are at the hospital, not knowing what's going on with Joyce, walks in to find Spike SNIFFING ONE OF BUFFY'S SWEATERS, and then learns that SPIKE knows what's going on with Joyce before he did.

Sure, Spike knows because he'd gone to Buffy's house intending to kill her or die trying and had a change of heart when he saw her so emotionally vulnerable, but it doesn't change the fact that he found this out, but no one made an effort to pass the information on to Riley.

Like... That stings ME and I'm not even one of the people in the relationship. That this soulless vampire who is creepily obsessed with her, has tried to kill her multiple times, who he just found fondling her laundry... That HE got to know about this devastating news before Riley, Buffy's boyfriend, did.

This is coming after the episode where he got Walsh's super-soldier stuff flushed out and told her, specifically, he is scared of her running away from him. And the episode that followed THAT, his only scene in the episode was Buffy telling him she needed to do something alone, without him (the spell that had her find out Dawn was inserted into her life). And it just keeps going, where we don't really see efforts being made to involve Riley in Buffy's life, all the way to the point where Buffy's mother and sister end up taking up the majority of her non-Slayer time.

That's what I mean when I say that Riley wasn't wrong to want to be wanted - Buffy's actions were alienating him, and, while she certainly had reason to be concerned about things not-him at the time, it also showed that he had issues in the relationship that were not being addressed. Issues that did get acknowledged at one point, but then got shoved off to the side as Buffy had her own issues (understandably) take precedence.

I'm not saying Riley's blameless, but I am saying that Buffy DID have responsibility in that relationship's collapse as well, that she isn't blameless - that they BOTH contributed to the relationship's collapse. The bigger issue is that Riley was not given enough of development outside of being "Buffy's boyfriend" to make his side at least be shown in a more sympathetic light, or give him things to do with the other characters beyond Buffy, so that he wouldn't be stuck in that rut of "but without Buffy, what do I do?"

Ultimately, he's a victim of the writers forgetting to really give him a purpose in the narrative outside of his ties to the Initiative, and, since that arc wrapped up the prior season, there was nothing really for him to do but be "Buffy's boyfriend" afterwards, and that was a role that even I, someone on team "Riley's not that bad, actually," will grant that he was NEVER going to be endgame on.

And that's also part of the issue, that the writing seemed to have wanted this to be an endgame romance, something on the epic level of Buffy and Angel's love, but... It really was a relationship that was never going to last. It WASN'T a one in a million love, it was a young romance that burned bright, fast, and out. Buffy was going in to it as a rebound, hell, the rebound FROM her rebound. Riley was going in and taking the relationship as an identity. And, of course, we have the out-of-universe fact that Whedon himself didn't want another vampire romance, so he was trying to push this relationship SO. DAMN. HARD, which... I mean, since when does that even work in the first place? All those factors doomed the relationship before the word go.

Yeah, I do think Riley was screwed over by things no matter how things had turned out. So, y'know, that's one of those things that tends to endear me to a character in the first place.

#dg rambles #riley finn #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy meta

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valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 1 year

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episode 2-

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kind of ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I’m just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this. My own glorious purpose. Because the TVA is my life. And it’s real because I believe it’s real. Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There’s no such thing as free will. Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it’s an oversimplification. Loki: So in fact, in a way, you and I, here at the TVA, we’re the only ones who are actually free. Mobius: Where are you going with this, Loki? Loki: How does it all end? Mobius: That’s a work in progress.

episode 5-

Mobius: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys. Sylvie: Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff. Mobius: Well, I guess when you think the ends justify the means, there’s not much you won’t do. By the way, you did some annihilating too. Sylvie: I did what I had to do. Mobius: Yeah, so did I. Sylvie: You hunted me like a dog. Mobius: I’m sorry about that.

episode 6-

Mobius: I think people are ready to hear a little truth now. You know, like the TVA is a lie. Ravonna Renslayer: But what if it’s a necessary one? Someone created the Time Keepers. They created this whole place. They gave us all purpose. I have to believe they had a reason. Mobius: No, because I’ve seen the horror waiting for people when they get pruned, and there’s nothing necessary about that. Ravonna Renslayer: You know what would happen if we didn’t prune the Timeline? Mobius: What? Ravonna Renslayer: Chaos. Death. Mobius: Free will?

I wanted to line these three conversations up because it becomes clear just how much Mobius refuses to take any kind of moral responsibility. He honestly tries to play moral high ground against Ravonna when earlier that day he had Loki continuously beaten because he was angry he ran away. What was so necessary about that? He really is great at lying to himself.

You know, when you put it like that it almost feels like it could have worked with Mobius falling victim to the propaganda to realizing the truth and turning his back on the TVA... that's what Mikey wanted to do but it doesn't work if he doesn't take any responsibility for his actions.

It makes no sense to have a character who has spent years or decades (if not more) working for the TVA and believing their lies, finally finding out the truth and instead of having an existential crisis he blames everyone around him but himself. That's not a logical reaction at all!

He should hate himself, he should be devastated from all the pain and death he has caused, he should be apologizing profusely to Loki - hell, even to Sylvie - and aching to make amends. But he shows no signs of any of that, if anything he's delighted about that "free will" he despised just a few hours earlier.

Mikey imbued him with all that shallow morality when he speaks to Ravonna but his words fall flat precisely because he feels no responsibility for any of it. The time loop was Mobius' call, not hers - what, he doesn't feel bad about that? Isn't he supposed to be oh so morally responsible now?

She didn't do it on her own, in fact she ordered the missions but he is the one who carried them out. Renslayer's reaction is far more believable than Mobius'.

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yaboi-weenis · 3 months

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When you tried to take the spark in our eyes, did you think it could go this wrong? /ly

Promises - Jhariah

GROWLS GURGLES SCREAMS

Jhariah brainrot has me in a chokehold and this song is SO THEO AND Raf it’s INSANE

I’m going to infodump about this. You cannot stop me .

Cw for SA of a minor and attempted s**cide ⚠️

Dolly ran to Theo about a year ago, escaping her abusive biological father Raf after an event she has issues recalling— all she knows, is she’s in pain in places she never has been before… and there’s wire-like bruising around her neck.

Theo took her in with open arms, more than willing to help the child recover from trauma and learn what *love* is. She’s taught more about sewing and tailoring, gradually gets comfortable with Theo’s roommate Blazer, and things are changing for the better..

all the while Raf lurks in the background, making more than a few attempts to get her back under his control.

Eventually Raf gets her phone number, and begins to text her incessantly— constant bullying and harassment, calling her slurs and, strangely, a “whore”

That culminates in him sending her a video. One she watches twice over, in its entirety, just to ensure she saw it correctly.

And subsequently, she attempts to take her own life.

Luckily, Blazer heard her collapse, calling for Theo before both of them enter her room— finding her bleeding out on the floor.

Theo wraps her arm in gauze and tells Blazer to take her downstairs, to keep her safe… and once they leave, xe check her still buzzing phone.

“nothing to say? Or did you finally kys, whore?”

He grimaces, scrolling up a ways to gather more information, and comes across a video.

Curiosity gets the better of xem, and xe watch the first few seconds;

Theo’s adopted daughter screaming, begging for mercy as the camera man makes demands, sliding his hand into her pants and—

THUNK

Theo tosses the phone into the wall, making a rather serious dent, clenching his fist,

This ends now. Raf’s reign of terror cannot continue.

MIND YOU THIS IS AN INSANE OVERSIMPLIFICATION BUT I AM AT WORK AND CANNOT GIVE EVERYTHING-

I’ve been told we should start posting the actual fics for The Fags™️ (as we’ve dubbed them) on here, and honestly I’m kinda down for that,

Perhaps soon…

#jhariah #oc art #super proud of this render #slayed #Theo <33 #Raf ❌❌#I don’t think I can tag these Stray anymore #because it’s such a departure 😭#but I’m going to anyways #stray 2022 #stray game #stray oc #stray gijinka #digital art #lyric art

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starlightfae · 26 days

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hey I was wondering if/how you managed to get a cfs diagnosis? its smth i've always suspected I have but everyone tries to convince me it's just a lifestyle issue or a depression side effect :/ also if theres any resources you've found helpful for managing it? thanks in advance !

(also not time sensitive so no pressure to answer quick or at all, trust me, I Get It)

I did manage to get an official CFS diagnosis, but it was more like I kept saying 'I have CFS' until finally, a doctor said 'okay' and put it on my diagnosis list. that's an oversimplification but what I mean is, don't count on the doctors to know shit about fuck about cfs lmao

This going to be a long, complicated answer, so heads up for that lol

I am extremely lucky that I have a mother who supports me. She helped me every step of the way, including standing up for me when I was dismissed and/or ridiculed by medical professionals. This isn't to say it's impossible to get your diagnosis without support, but it certainly helps and I'm not going to pretend her support didn't factor into things.

The first thing you have to do is get any other issues managed. For me, this meant trying out a few different antidepressants until I found one that helped my depression but ~somehow~ didn't affect my fatigue. I was able to point out that my depression symptoms didn't line up with my fatigue. depression and CFS symptoms both fluctuate, so if the fatigue was a part of the depression, it would line up- ie, more depressed, more fatigued (and vice versa)

this also means the doctors have to rule out everything that can cause fatigue. medication side effects, thyroid levels, sleep apnea, anemia, Lymes disease, etc.

something that will be VERY helpful in getting diagnosed is knowing CFS, because most doctors won't know shit about it. Although, with more people getting Long Covid, more doctors are realizing CFS is a real thing. This is because Long Covid is CFS. CFS is a post-viral condition, so if you can point out when you got a really bad virus and then started getting CFS symptoms, that will also be SUPER helpful.

More than likely, at least one doctor will try to shut you down for 'looking up your symptoms on Google and diagnosing yourself'. No shame if that's how you first heard of CFS, but I found it very satisfying to tell the doctor that I checked out library books and took notes lmao! The book I found that was super helpful was "Hope and Help for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia" by Alison C. Bested, Alan C. Logan, and Russell Howe.

as for other resources that may help, the r/cfs subreddit has been quite helpful! mostly in regards to support, but they also have some good links and advice

if you have any more questions or need me to clarify something, feel free to come back and ask! there is a lot more I can say about diagnosis criteria, symptoms besides fatigue, etc but I've already wrote an obscene amount, sorry lol

OH also I kept my notes from when I checked out the book I mentioned above, so if you are interested I can also share that info and save you the effort of reading the book yourself lol

#Anonymous #cfs #cfs/me #me cfs #myalgic encephalomyelitis #cfs (chronic fatigue syndrome)#chronic fatigue syndrome #mecfs #how many ways can i tag this bitch? lmao #cfs stands for 'constantly fucking sleepy'

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flightfoot · 2 years

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What do you think about some people saying it is OOC for Marinette to forgive Chat Noir for withholding info about Hawk Moth for a week in the latest BEAU update?

I feel like the difference is that she didn't know he was Chat Noir before? She may have been neglectful in Season 4, but I feel like Marinette has never been distrustful of him or his intentions? If anything she's always defended him right away (like in Copycat) and had extreme trust in him. Even when he messes up or has moments that salters argue she should have been harder on him for (like in Glaciator, Frozer, or even abandoning the black cat miraculous on a whim in Kuro Neko), she's always been gentle with him about his perceived mess ups here and there, almost waving them off. I can't see her canonically being angry at him for angsting alone about his FATHER BEING A TERRORIST for a week before telling her.

People say Marinette doesn't have empathy a lot, but I think that's an oversimplification. Marinette doesn't have as much empathy as Adrien does. But she's not devoid of it empathy and definitely not devoid of compassion. Empathy exist on a scale. It's not all or nothing. And, more importantly, it's a buildable trait. She can be stubborn like a mofo, but I don't think she's heartless. Especially not where Chat Noir is concerned. If anything, I think her stubbornness works in his favor. She's made up her mind that he's "one of the good ones" and she'll defend that at all costs.

Haven't heard anyone say that it's OOC, but yeah I don't think Marinette being fine with Chat withholding info for a week is out of character at all. It makes perfect sense for her.

Like, if he'd told her that at the time - that he'd known for a week and hadn't told her - I'm sure she would've been incredulous and asked him why, since from her perspective, there would be no reason to delay. But even then, at the time this was going down, I'm sure she'd be nothing but sympathetic if she then found out that Hawkmoth was his father. That's reason enough to be conflicted.

And yeah, Marinette's generally pretty gentle with Chat, outside of maybe an initial outburst when she's coming to grips with whatever's going on. And especially with him looking devastated when telling her about finding out that Hawkmoth is his father, I can't imagine that she'd want to add to his pain.

As for Marinette's empathy... I mean, it's really hard to separate empathetic, sympathetic, and compassionate. The terms get mixed up a lot. Marinette has a very hard time figuring out that someone's likely to be hurt by something she does unless she sees them actually looking hurt in front of her, even when it's something that would definitely have hurt her if the situation was reversed. It just doesn't occur to her. When she DOES realize it though, she feels extremely guilty and tries to rectify the situation via any means at her disposal. Tries to "fix" things to the best of her abilities.

But something like "Chat's father is a terrorist, therefore he's conflicted about telling her and delays doing so"? That's straightforward enough that she'd get it. Plus yeah, like you said, she's firmly convinced that Chat Noir is a good person. She wouldn't turn on him for something like that. He's her partner, she's gonna be highly sympathetic to him.

#ask #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #bakery enemies au #ml analysis

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bougiebutchbitch · 5 months

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yea it's really kinda fucked up what kind of attitudes people of various professions have towards hyper mobility in itself and what it could be connected to. like I had a friend who dislocated her shoulders maybe once a week and we overheard the adults talk about how the medical conclusion seemed to be "hmm, is this kid being abused" rather than "maybe there is a reason this kid dislocates her shoulders every time she tries to hang from something". and then my teacher, when I went to school, just straight up told us that joints overextending just means we've got weak muscles and having a specific kind of posture means we are in bad shape (kids! we were kids! not even pre-teens yet wtf?) and then later on a personal trainer kind of person declared I am NOT hyper mobile because apparently my hands didn't align a certain way she was looking for? like I can sublux my shoulders at will, have to walk a certain way to keep my knees aligned, lock up my fingers doing certain activities etc and apparently maybe have some extra wear and tear here and there from this sort of shit, but you got it, pal 🙄

honestly I don't understand what's so hard for ppl to comprehend like your body's right there and it's doing this thing and then ppl keep going "oh, idk, maybe this isn't a thing?" like ???

Oh my god, that's immensely fucked up. I'm sorry you have awful medical professionals like that in your life... Truly, you deserve better!

I absolutely think 'oh you can just exercise away EDS/HSD in general' is a massive oversimplification. Strength building exercise has HUGE benefits for hypermobile folks, don't get me wrong! But exercise doesn't do jack shit about internal organ problems, or get rid of long-term damage that's already been done to nerves or joints? And frankly, if you are severely unstable, it can absolutely make it worse.

Like..... I am muscular. I work out A LOT, and have done for years. I have a lot of visible muscle! I have very little body fat, but what weight I carry, is muscle. It just......... only gets me to the approximate strength of an 'average' person, and my joints are still very weak and give out regularly.

My physio still wants me to work out even more to add more muscle mass, for what amounts, all together considering my personal exrcise plan, to 2+ hours a day (approximately 1 hour of work out and 1 hour of physio) just to maintain my ability to walk dodgily and not lose further functionality & sensation in my legs.

Like... That's completely unfeasible considering I also have a day job with up to 12 hour shifts, chronic fatigue and pain AND exercise intolerance??

The 'exercise' solution just feels like a super-handy way for health professionals to put all the pressure on the individuals to manage their own condition, with completely unrealistic expectations, and minimise the amount of care they actually provide. Like, I know EDS is a genetic incurable condition and there's literally nothing else you can do except brace, rest lots, gain muscle, exercise, and treat the internal problems as they occur. But. Sigh. A little appreciation of how that's impossible for most people living with this condition would be better than the usual 'oh this will be cured by exercise so it's not actually a problem :)' bullshit.

But.... yeah. Shit's fucking wild. I'm truly sorry you and your friends dealt with that. Keep on troopin'. You know your body better than any health professional you see for a fifteen fucking minute appointment. x

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streets-in-paradise · 2 years

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i don't know if you plan to go any further with the Dustin's sister x steddie story but i can't stop thinking about Dustin trying to explain to steve everything he can about the lotr universe so he'll be ready to fight back the next time eddie try to disturb him 👀❤️

Hi, anon!! OMG thanks for sending this i love to talk about this concept!!

First of all, I do plan to continue that series with two more parts for the seasons i haven't wrote about yet. I only gave myself a little rest because i have been writing and consuming a lot of stranger things fanfict for the last month and i was afraid i could end up burnout. I plan to continue, i only gave it a rest to avoid getting a block.

That being said, i LOVE this and i can so imagine it happening. I'm picturing Steve asking Dustin to explain him the things he heard from the reader, at first not wanting to admit it is because she said those to him.

Like, after Eddie told him he didn't deserve the comparison to a captive elve escaping Mordor before becoming an orc, Steve wants to know exactly what she meant with that. She made it sound so sweet and it clearly pissed off her freak friend, so it had to be something really nice although he isn't completely sure because he has no idea.

I'm gonna keep this with a little untituled blurb (sorry for any possible mistakes, i am not doing a second read so it is unedited) :

" They talk on this weird slang, i can't get what they say and I know Munson does it on purpose." Steve was venting to his younger friend. " It's like he constantly tries to remind me i don't belong there because I am not like him. "

Dustin had no calming explanation for that part, other than the defensive mechanisms of nerd culture, but he was at least able to explain it for him.

" What do you mean with ' weird slang'? What does he bring up in front of you?"

" It's that Lord of the Rings thing. Well, i found out it was that when she said it because he does it all cassualy as if it was some code they share."

The implied jealousy was unbelievable to his listener.

" Maybe they are just being nerds together. How do you know the dude wants to make you feel left out?"

" He called me an orc, then your sister said i was like a captive elve escaping them and that upsetted him. Munson said i didn't deserve it. What the hell does that mean? "

The kid's smile indicated the answer was as positive as he once guessed.

" She thinks you are a great guy, he thinks you are an asshole and she is trying to prove him wrong. " Dustin summarized before proceding into a more tecnical explanation. " The creation of orcs is a process that imitates the bíblical origin of demons. Just as the first demons were in fact corrupted angels, Tolkien ubicates the origins of this race of dicks on the long imprisonment of captured elves. After a really long time of prison, tortures and degradations, this corrupted form of life mutated into what the Third Age Middle Earth we read in Lord of the Rings knows as an Orc. For what i understand, the dude must have compared jocks to orcs, what it's actually brillant, yet (y/n) said that your process of transformation never completed. "

The little things he catched in the speech made him feel really good. Steve got to understand at least one bassical point of it.

" She said i am a beated up angel?"

It was on oversimplification, but his friend allowed him to have it.

" To the practical purposes of this talk? Yes. Never call a warrior elve a ' beated up angel' in front of anyone else, specially that guy."

Steve got a bit of a foolish smile just of thinking about your words, finnaly getting deeper understanding of those. It made him wonder how many more details he was missing.

" Who is her favorite character in the books?"

" It depends on how to define a favorite. Is it simbolically or by personal identification?"

" Do you used to play about that shit when you were kids, ríght? It must have been one of your little nerd games. Who did she liked to play as?"

" That's an easy one: Lady Eowyn of Rohan." The boy commented with relaxed determination. " She is not one of the nine companions, but she is a real badass. Meriadoc Brandybuck and her teamed up to kill the Witch King of Angmar, the leader of Sauron's scariest servants that are called Nazguls. "

" Is she a princess or…?"

" Niece of a King, tecnically. " Dustin continued, with excitement. " If you are asking this just to make a comparison that would flatter her, then i need to tell you all what's needed to know about the character.

Steve listened to the ramble with increased attention, but he got ocassionally lost in the naming of weird places and persons that couldn't be explained without tedious delays into other topics. Fantasy was really complicated to learn about in one take, the worldbuildings were intrincated and that was only one universe of the many others in the genre. What sticked the most with him was the description of the warrior princess, her feat and the love triangle plot that Dustin was about to skip if he wouldn't have asked him not to.

" It's just some minor drama that doesn't add much to the plot. " The kid insisted. " Remember how i told you about this nine companions that left Rivendel together, then split by circunstancies? "

" The Fellowship of the Ring. "

" Yes, exactly! And how i told you they have this implícit leader that nobody actually named leader, but kind of takes that role?"

" The wild ranger."

" Strider, his real name is Aragorn and in fact he is meant to be the King of Gondor. " Dustin confirmed. " After the Fellowship splitted Aragorn met Eowyn in Rohan and she fell in love with him, but her feelings were not destined to be required. Aragorn's destiny is to be a gondorian King and marry an elve lady, but Eowyn meet him as this dude who helped save her uncle's kingdom and that impressed her. She hero worshipes him, to her he is like a rockstar and he doesn't seem to mind that she likes swords so she is super happy. "

" But they don't end up together."

" No, she marries the little brother of Boromir. Faramir, he is as much of a hobbit nanny as his older brother was, only ignored by their father. "

That was all he needed to hear, Steve's most valuable conclussion of the talk.

#asks #messages #stranger things blurb #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #henderson!reader

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