#I know raine isn’t a gay man but I needed someone for that category and tbh they do give of sapphic vibes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emberfrostlovesloki · 4 years

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#4 Reader X SickSpencer

Gif credit: @stunudo

Prompt: Reader X SickSpencer - Spencer catches a cold and doesn’t come into work on Monday morning. The reader goes to his apartment to check and see if he is doing alright.

Category: Fluff / Comfort

Content Warning: Language (maybe)

A/N: After watching the episode where Spencer gets tortured I had an infinite need to write something where he gets comforted by someone. This is pretty domestic and fluffy, but it’s what I needed right now. I want to thank @veraiconcos for helping me with the inspiration for this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. Please like / reblog!

Link to all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_y/l/n_ = you’re last name

_h/c_ = hair color

_b/s_ = brother/ sister

_h/l_ = hair length

_f/c_ favorite color

_Y/n_ walked into the headquarters of the BAU with a pep in her step. She had spent most of the weekend hiking the paths of Ricketts Glenn State Park in Pennsylvania. She had taken the train up after she had clocked out of work and spent the rest of the weekend disconnecting from the world. She found the forested paths relaxing compared to her normal job she was bound to. She had asked if Morgan or Prentiss wanted to join her, but both of her teammates already had plans for the weekend. In total the woman had walked over fifty miles. At noon on Sunday _y/n_ sadly said goodbye to her campsite, and drove herself to the airport. She had arrive at the office before everyone on Monday morning. She hadn’t gotten any work done during her outdoor experience. Because of this she arrived at her desk early in order to make a dent in the pile of paperwork she had left behind on Friday. When she sat down at the white desk _y/n_ noticed that some of the files she was least looking forward to were nowhere to be found. She didn’t think too hard about it for the moment, and just grabbed another file instead. After an hour, the other members of the team started streaming into the bullpen. _Y/n_ noticed that at 8:00 A.M. Morgan, Prentiss, J.J., Hotch and Gideon were all present, except for Dr. Reid. Agent _y/l/n_ looked around the room once more just to make sure that the young man wasn’t actually there, and she was just missing him. Spencer had never been late to work before. He had actually picked her up multiple times when she had texted him in a panic that it was raining and the trains would run late, and she’d probably get fired for being two minutes late. She knew that her fears were unfounded, she also knew that Spencer knew her fear was stupid. None the less he would pull up to her apartment and swing the passenger side door open from the inside. Those had been good rides. When _y/n_ was very sure she had not missed Spencer she walked up to Morgan who was just now walking up to his desk. She leaned against his desk and asked, “Morning, do you know where Reid is? Also, I’m missing some files from my desk, any idea where they may be?” Derek smiled and said, “I can explain both questions sweetness.” _Y/n_ rolled her eye’s at Morgans flattery but still raised her eyebrows, non verbally telling him to continue. Morgan took a seat and continued, “Reid is sick, apparently he caught a cold. About your missing files, your boyfriend stayed late last Friday, last I saw of him he had taken about ten of your case files to his desk, and was filling them out himself.” Before _y/n_ had a chance to process that Derek had called Spencer her boyfriend she replied, “Oh my gosh, is he okay? When did he get sick?” Morgan smiled as she realized what term he had used for her friend. She grabbed one of his case files and started hitting him over the head with it. The athletic agent put his hands over his head and said, “Reid got sick on Saturday. He texted us on Sunday that he had a fever and Hotch told him to stay home.”

Before _y/n_ could ask more questions, J.J. entered the room and said, “We have a case, let’s head into the conference room to talk over the details.” When the team was assembled, Hotcher stood up and started explaining the case. “We’re looking for an unsub that has killed congressman Luke Allen. The murder took place in the senators office last night at 1:00 A.M. His body was found today by his aid, Gracie Suveua. There was no apparent forced entry. The senators most popular contributions on Capitol Hill have been his working and signing the bill regarding Obergefell vs. Hodges in 2015.” The team nodded and agent _y/l/n_ commented, “So we may be looking for a person that has problems with the implications of gay marriage in the Supreme Court: religious extremists, opposing party members or a person from another radical religions that oppose LGBTQ+ rights.” Gideon agreed and replied, “That’s a great start for a profile. Hotch and Derek, would you head over to the sight of the murder. J.J. would you give Penelope our main facts so far and get her to do a database search based off of those criteria. Prentiss, _y/n_ and I will head over to the police precinct to ask some questions and gather information from the force.” After a minute of gathering in their separate groups, the teams went their separate ways to begin the hard work of the new case. Prentiss and _y/n_ weren’t thrilled to be going to the prescient. The officers were mostly of a male demographic, and often ignored comments that both female agents had made before, and turned out to be true later. Nonetheless, the trio whisked away to the station. When they arrived, the Police chief heartily shook Jason’s hand, but chose not to shake Emily of _y/n’s_. The two agents looked at each other, shrugged and moved into the sleek building after Gideon. It wasn’t until 9: 30 P.M. that the team was back to the conference room debriefing the information that they had accrued during the course of the day. After the debrief was over Aaron said, “I think we will be better use to this case if we all get some sleep and pick this up tomorrow. I don’t think that we aren’t at risk of another victim being killed tonight. If we work hard there won’t be a second death to follow the first. Get some sleep and I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.” Each member of the team slowly got up, in their fatigue and moved out of the bright room and back toward their desks. When _y/n_ got to her desk she slumped down in her swivel chair. She pulled out her phone and looked at the message she had missed. She ignored a text from her mom and instantly scrolled down to the text that Spencer had sent her. The message read, “I’m still feeling pretty bad. I’m sorry that I can’t be useful in this case.” _y/n_ observed the text, and thought about how Spencer threw himself into his work 110% of the time and maybe it was batter that he had a break from work, even if he had to feel like shit to get to that place.

Before she could respond to the message that Reid had sent three hours ago Morgan approached _y/l/n_ and asked, “Do you need a ride home? Taking the train right now isn’t exactly safe.”_Y/n_ looked up to him and said, “I think I’ll go check on Reid first. Would you mind taking me to his apartment?” Morgan raised his eyebrows at the statement, and after a moment of silence said, “Sure thing.” The agents moved to the parking lot where Derek’s car sat ready to take off. _Y/n_ had sold her car when she had moved to D.C. to pay the deposit on her crappy apartment. She had always told herself that she would buy a new car when she had the money. Even though she had been working on the BAU unit for over a year she had never bought a car. She preferred the train anyway. When the agent got onto the car Morgan smoothly moved out of his spot and into the empty road. _Y/n_ pulled out her phone and texted Spencer back saying, “Sorry you’re still feeling bad. I am going to come over and see if you’re doing okay. Be there in about twenty minutes.” When she finished sending the text she put her phone in her pocket and looked out the front window at the empty road. After a minute Derek commented, “You really like him, don’t you?” The male agent had his big brother voice on when he asked the question. _Y/n_ pulled her hand through her _h/c_ before responding, “Derek you know how I feel about him. You don’t have to interrogate me. But it might be helpful if you didn’t call Spencer my boyfriend in front of him. You know how he gets when it comes to affection.” Morgan smiled. He knew that both agents had spent a good amount of time together outside of work. He thought that they made a good couple, but also that they hadn’t said anything about their feelings to each other yet. Morgan respected that they were moving slowly, that really was more their style anyway. Derek replied, “I get you. Plus, I wouldn’t want to jeopardize any chance you might have in letting him tell you that he likes you.” As he finished his statement the duo pulled into the front of Reid apartment building. She looked over to her friend and said, “You know nothing may happen. If it’s just platonic I’d get it. But I do love him.” Derek smiled at the fact that she had actually said the words out loud. He responded, “Go get him tiger.” She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the car. _Y/n_ leaned back in to say, “If I get anything it will probably be a cold from our resident genius,” before closing the door, waving and walking into the apartment.

When she was in the apartment she took a moment to enjoy the sleek interior of the building. She was always jealous of the coffee shop that the contained. She had to walk three blocks to get to a coffee shop from her apartment. Secretly she was grateful for this fact, because if her apartment had a cafe she knew she would spend all her money there. She was brought back to the moment when the elevator dinged and opened. The agent waited for the occupants of the elevator to get out, and she stepped in once it was empty. She pressed the cool round metal button that read ‘5.’ The moving contraption stopped twice for other residents to get in the metal box before _y/n_ got out on floor five. When she was outside Spencer’s door she realized that she had never checked her messages before just showing up at his room. She pulled out her cellular device, and saw that he had not responded. _Y/l/n_ thought, ‘Maybe he’s asleep? Or maybe he’s feeling really bad and didn’t want me to come?’ The agent panicked for a moment, considering that Spencer might be too ill to respond. After a moment she calmed down and knocked on the door. It took a minute before she heard light shuffling outside the door. She could barely hear her friend say, “Who is it?” _Y/n_ rolled hey eyes at the question; all he had to do was look out his peep hole. After quietly laughing she said, “It’s _y/n_. Can I come in?” The door opened slightly and _y/n_ could see a small sliver of Dr. Reid. She tried to ascertain his sickness level from the shade of his face. Spencer stood for a minute calculating how risky it would be for him to let her in. He said in a raspy voice, “I might get you sick. You know that 3% of American’s have a 64% chance of getting a cold during the year.” _Y/n_ smiled and replied, “I’m happy you’re still coherent enough to give me statistics Spence, and if I’m going to get a cold I’d rather it be from you, and not some random person on the street. I’m just here to make sure you don’t stay sick for longer than necessary.” Reid reconsidered the odds. How old _y/n_ was, how active she was and her general health. After he finished his assessment the young man opened the door and allowed his friend in.

When she was in the apartment the female agent set her backpack by the front of the door. Spencer had stepped back in an attempt to lower the rate of transmission. While he was doing this _y/n_ looked him over. He was paler than usual, and his cheeks were flushed red. His hair was limply hanging around his cheeks that were more sunken in than usual. Even in his comfortable looking Yale sweatshirt and grey shorts, the man looked miserable. _Y/n_ looked at him sympathetically and said, “Maybe you should take a seat?” Reid replied, “Do I really look that bad?” She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, but didn’t tell him verbally that he looked like a kid who had fallen into a swimming pool in his clothes by accident. She walked over to the coach and Spencer followed her. He sunk down into the dark fabric of the couch leaning his head against the back. She pulled a chair up while he was seated and asked, “Can I feel your forehead?” When the words were out of her mouth _y/n_ realized how strange it sounded, but Spencer didn’t seem to think it was weird - maybe because he was slightly delirious - or he just knew to expect strange expressions that he didn’t understand come out form her lips. So he replied, “Okay.” _Y/n_ stood up from her chair and knelt on the couch next to Spencer and lifted her hand. She placed it on his forehead. His skin was hot. For the moment that _y/n’s_ hand was on his head Spencer enjoyed it. The cool sensation of her hand was relaxing. He wished it stayed there for a moment longer. The genius realized that the concept was completely illogical because the heat of his fevered body would simply begin transferring to her hand. It only took a second for _y/n_ to realize that Spencer was still running a high temperature, and even though she didn’t need to, she slipped her hand under his chin to check the temperature there too. She assumed she did this because her mom had done it when she was a kid. She pulled her hand away again for the second time and got up. Spencer leaned his head back to look at _y/n_ as his friend moved toward his bathroom. He heard the tap turn on, and after a few seconds, she returned to his side with a small hand towel. She was holding her hand under it so that it didn’t drip water on his wooden floors. “When did you last check your temperature, and how high was it?” _Y/n_ inquired as she placed the damp towel on his hot forehead. Spencer breathed a sigh of relief at the coolness of the cloth. He then responded, “I checked it two hours ago. I think it was around 100.72 degrees. She nodded at the reply and then asked, “Have you eaten yet today?” The young genius was notorious for completely forgetting that he needed to nourish his slender body on a regular basis. So she could only imagine that while he was sick, food was the last thing on his mind. He gave the response she expected of, “No. I’ve felt kind of nauseous all day, I didn’t think eating was going to help with that.” _Y/n_ rolled her eyes and said, “Have you ever considered that not eating could make you nauseous too?” The young woman got up and went into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and only found a carton of eggs and a few containers of leftovers. She turned to Spencer and asked, “Why don’t you have any food Reid?” Spencer gave a cough before defended himself by saying, “I normally go grocery shopping on Sunday, but I was sick, so I didn’t go.” _Y/l/n_ understood and said, “Okay. Well I’m going to run down to the corner store and make you some dinner. Do you have a favorite comfort food?” Spencer stood and took a few steps toward her and said, “You really don’t have to. I can take care of myself.” _Y/n_ replied, “I know you can Spence. I just want to be here to show you you don’t have to all the time. Especially when you’re sick.’ Reid bit his lip as he usually did when he was thinking. After a moment he strode to his counter and grabbed the keys to his apartment, and car, and tossed them at _y/n_. She quickly shifted left and grabbed the object being flung at her. Spencer said, “I really like grilled cheese sandwiches.” She smiled and said, “I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Before walking out of his living room and into the hall. She locked the door behind her and moved toward the elevator.

The corner store was limited in it’s selections. But all that really mattered was that _y/n_ had a loaf of white bread, some American cheese, a kind of pathetic looking can of tomato soup, and some orange juice. With these items in her basket the girl moved to the counter and paid for the groceries with cash from her wallet. It wasn’t until she was at the counter paying that she noticed the time. The Digital clock that was displayed behind the cashier glowed in red letters 10:25 P.M. She knew that if she went back to Spencer and made dinner she was going to miss the last train. To the woman it was just a small thought that quickly came and went. She wasn’t going to leave her friend right now. If he was uncomfortable with her staying at his place overnight _y/n_ would get a taxi back to her apartment. Spencer heard the key slide in the door and knew that _y/n_ had returned. He was currently lying down on the couch and didn’t really move that much as she set down a bag on his counter. There was a moment where some glass clinked together, and a second later she was in front of him with a glass of ice water and a glass of orange juice for him. She set them down on the table next to the couch and he said, “Thanks. I’m feeling a little better now.” _Y/n_ smiled and said, “Good, if you want a distraction while I’m making the food you can look over the new case. We’ve been working on it all day and haven’t gotten very far. The files in my bag.” Spencer jolted at the chance of doing something other than feeling miserable, and he got up and found the file in _y/n’s_ backpack. As he walked back toward the couch he noticed that _y/n_ had bought herself a coffee from the shop in the lobby. She shared his taste for sugar filled beverages. Unlike him, she preferred milk in her caffeinated drinks. Spencer grabbed the warm polystyrene cup and took a sip of it while she was digging in his fridge for some butter. Spencer often stole _y/n’s_ snacks or drinks. It was the type of thing that would make her angry for a second and then she would laugh it off for five more. He would always buy her a replacement item, often he would make it a bigger cup of coffee or bar of chocolate than the one she had before. Spencer knew that the young agent was trying to save up money so she could fly down to her _b/s’s_ college graduation in a month. It was the least he could do. After all living in D.C. could be hard on the bank account.

It wasn’t until the soup was on the stove heating up, and the grilled cheese sandwiches were in the pan getting melty that _y/n_ started looking around for her coffee cup. After a minute of futile searching she spotted it in Spencer’s hand. She smirked, moving to the back of the couch, she pretended to look over Reid’s shoulder at the information he was examining. When the man removed the cup from his lips and lowered it toward his leg she grabbed it out of his grasp and said, “Really Reid. This is how you repay me for my help.” Halfway through the sentence and she was already laughing at his antics. She glided to a position in front of him and started bringing the drink to her own mouth when she remembered Spencer was sick. She examined the lid of the cup, and obviously some of his saliva was on the rim of the cup. Reid looked up at her and said, “Sorry I also haven’t had any coffee yet today either.” _Y/n_ sighed and handed him back the cup replying, “You know, I fear that if you asked me to murder someone I would consider it.” Spence smiled up at her. After another five minutes or so the pair were eating a very late dinner at the kitchen table. They were talking about the details of the case. As soon as they had finished eating Spencer asked, “Are you planning on going back to your apartment tonight? The train stopped running a half hour ago.” A blush rose to _y/n’s_ cheeks and replied, “Well. I was wondering if I could just stay here tonight? I need to look through the details of the case again, and do some research. I’ll be quiet.” It wasn’t a super odd request. The pair had stayed up all night before working on cases or having movie marathons, but they had never been at one of their apartments when one, or both of them was going to be sleeping. Spencer looked over to her and said, “Of course you can. I can help you with the research if you want.” _Y/n_ smiled and said, “Thanks for letting me stay. And offering the help, but I think you should get some rest. You aren’t going to get better without sleep.” She smiled at him and began picking up the dishes from their dinner. Spencer helped her put them in the sink and said, “I promise next time it’s my turn to cook. I’ll finish the dishes if you want to take a shower before I turn in.” _Y/n_ considered that she had been in the same clothes for over ten hours and knew that a shower would relax her she said, “that would be great.” She was embarrassed to ask it, but managed to stutter out, “Do you think I could borrow one of your shirts to wear while I work. These aren’t the most comfortable clothes.” Spencer opened his mouth for a moment at the idea and tried to clear his head of the image of her in one of his shirts. The man snapped his mouth shut and his jawline tightened before he responded, “Um, yeah. In my closet on the left hand side are all my t-shirts and sweaters. You can wear any of them.” She said, “Okay. I’ll just be a bit.” She rubbed her hand over his shoulder as she walked in the direction of his bedroom. After a minute Spencer could hear the water running.

The lean agent scrubbed down the dishes and put them in the drainer next to the sink. When he finished with the plates and bowls, he sat back down on the couch with the intention of looking at the case again. His thoughts didn’t allow him to. Instead he was considering how he was feeling. He wondered if it was alright to want these kinds of evenings to happen more often. He knew that he wasn’t that good with women. His few attempts to woe the friends and strangers he had been interesting in had usually gone horribly wrong. Yet, unbelievably a friend had come to check up on him, and was comfortable enough to spend the night at his place. He couldn’t figure out if he had done anything differently with _y/n_ than his other friends. He also was unsure if she felt the same way he did. Maybe she was uncomfortable being here and just needed to stay out of convenience. While Reid was considering the current situation _y/n_ was doing the same. She was running shampoo through her _h/l_ hair and musing over what had happened over the last two hours. She had always wanted, hoped, to get closer to Spencer, but she was afraid that if she moved too fast that he wouldn’t be interested, or worse not want to hang around her at all. She and Spencer did share some of the same hobbies but she hoped that she knew him better than that. She knew how he shied away from physical affection, and how he always seemed so happy when she or Jason told him he had done a good job, and how she knew what his shampoo was going to smell like before she even opened the bottle. She really hoped that her presence, both literally and metaphorically wasn’t making him uncomfortable now. When she was finished with her reverie _y/n_ rinsed out her hair and stepped out of the shower, After another ten minutes Spencer looked up to see _y/n_ in another one of his YALE sweatshirt. It was so long on her shorter body that it covered her like an ill fitting dress. However, Spencer thought she could wear a potato sack and pull it off. He quickly looked away from her to hide his blush.

The duo looked over the cases and _y/n_ hooked up to his WiFi on her computer. After this was finished and _y/n_ had bought herself another coffee (using Reid’s card), she recommended he go to bed. It was already 12:00 A.M. at this point. Spencer relented and headed to his bedroom. Before he went in he said, “Goodnight. If you’ve got any questions you can ask. Just knock on the door.” She smiled and said goodnight back, and told him to sleep well. The agent continued her work for another three hours before she moved to the couch to try and get more comfortable to do her work. The next morning Spencer found _y/n_ laying down on the couch she was clutching a pillow to her chest and had her left leg draped over the blanket she had covered her body with. Spencer dared not walk past her torso in case she was indecent below the leg she had over the blanket. He was feeling much better today, and wished that he could go into work with her, however, it was company policy to wait a full twenty-four hours after a fever to return to work. Spencer knew it was for the safety of his coworkers, but he hated being away from his job. The man knelt down and tapped _y/n_ on the shoulder. She sighed slightly before opening her eyes to see him. She rubbed her eyes and sat up. Spencer quickly averted her eyes as she rose. She looked down at herself and realized that her _f/c_ boy shorts were peeking out from beneath Spencer’s YALE sweater. Her face turned red and she coughed, stood up and pulled the sweater down. She looked at her phone and quietly cursed, “Fuck, I’m going to be late.” Spencer knew that if _y/n_ was fast, and hurried she could catch the train and make it in time. He said, “Go change. If you’re fast you can make the 7:30 A.M. train.” _Y/n_ nodded and grabbed her clothes and ran into his bedroom. She shut the door and didn’t even bother to lock it as she stripped and quickly changed. Reid, who had woken up about thirty minutes before her, and had grabbed some coffee for her and himself. He had meant to wake her up once he had woken up, but he couldn’t disturb her when he had seen her so peaceful. When the woman came out of his room in her usual black pants and satin shirt, she looked ready to fight the crime in the city as she usually did. She put on her shoes and grabbed her things, stuffing them into her backpack. Spencer cleared his throat after she was finished and handed her the coffee. She smiled at him and said, “Thank you so much Spencer, for letting me stay, and the coffee.” Spencer smiled and hesitantly asked, “Would you come back again tonight? In case I need help again. Or feel bad?” It took a moment for the words to register and _y/n_ said “Huh?” And maybe it was because it was from lack of sleep, or her just being awake for five minutes, but the meaning of the words struck her after she had responded. She realized that Spencer wanted, that he really wanted to spend another night like they had had yesterday. She smiled up at him and replied, “Of course I’ll come back tonight Spence. I’d love that.” The word love was not lost on the genius, and he took a minute trying to and express his feeling, saying, “You know I really like you. I mean I appreciate you, or I feel things about you…” _Y/n_ wanted really really badly to hear the words come from him, but she knew that she didn’t have a moment to lose or she would be late. She hated cutting him off, but reluctantly said, “I know Spencer, me too.”

At hearing this Spencer gave a heartwarming smile and leaned down to hug her. She quickly gave him a kiss on the forehead and cheek. She then let go of him, and ran out the door, shouting over her shoulder, “I’ll see you tonight!”

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365days365movies · 3 years

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April 8, 2021: Swiss Army Man (2016) (Recap: Part One)

Don’t think about the Boy who Lived.

Daniel Radcliffe is a talented actor with a wider range than he’s given credit for. He’s been working since childhood, and has picked up quite a lot over time. While most famous for...a certain role that will go unnamed...he famously started his stage career in 2007 with the musical Equus, and that later progressed to How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, and Endgame.

Meanwhile, he also made appearances of television in varied roles, live-action and animated. He started his career in an adaptation of David Copperfield in 1999, voiced a character on The Simpsons three separate times, hosted Saturday Night Live in 2012, and also currently has an excellent role in the anthology series Miracle Workers.

And MEANWHILE, he also had quite the robust film career, especially after...the role which shall not be named. There were a few films made during that time period, like December Boys and The Woman in Black, but most of his time was understandably taken up, as was his public image. That, of course, ends in 2011. The first time I saw him in a role outside he who shall not be named was in the film Kill Your Darlings, about the collegiate career and romance in the life of famous gay poet Allen Ginsburg. It was very good!

The same year, 2013, he starred in Horns, a unique fantasy film that I considered watching for Fantasy March. His film career would be full of ups (The F Word, Trainwreck, Lost in London) and downs (Victor Frankenstein, Now You See Me 2, Playmobil: the Movie oh God REALLY JESUS). And right in the middle of those came one of his most famous weird roles. And that’s today’s focus. And I’ve been wanting to watch it for YEARS. And while we’re talking about him, let’s talk about this film’s other star: Paul Dano.

Dano’s career also began young, and in the opposite way to Radcliffe’s: in theatre first. After a stint on Broadway at the age of 12 (GODDAMN) in Inherit the Wind, as well as several other productions, he transitioned to film in 2000, around the same time that Radcliffe started as well. Eventually, he gained acclaim with his role in Little Miss Sunshine, and then...anybody else in the mood for a milkshake right about now?

Yeah, I haven’t seen that movie, but I really should this year. Consider it on my list...at some point. I’ll figure it out. Anyway, Dano’s role in There Will Be Blood only increased his acclaim, and found him acting in a number of indie films. Dano’s definitely not a blockbuster guy, but that’s not to say that he completely avoids them either. He’s been in Knight and Day, Cowboys and Aliens, and Looper, which all fall under that category. And except for the last one...they aren’t especially good, either.

But again, he was also in 12 Years a Slave, Okja, Wildlife, Where the Wild Things Are, and Meek’s Cutoff, and all of those were critically acclaimed, and some almost reached blockbuster status themselves. So I don’t really know how to feel about his upcoming role as...the Riddler.

Yeah, we’ll see, but I’m holding my breath. Dano’s great, and I love the Riddler, but...I dunno. Like I said, we’ll see. But in the meantime, that’s enough navel-gazing. Let’s watch Swiss Army Man! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin at sea. If you have thalassophobia, this is already terrifying for you. After seeing many plastics floating on the ocean, covered in written messages, we make our way to a deserted island, where Hank Thompson (Paul Dano) is committing suicide after being stranded there for so long.

However, as he does, he spies someone lying on the beach. The rope snaps, and Hank runs over to greet the body, hoping that he isn’t dead. Unfortunately, after a very loud burst of flatulence, it’s pretty damn clear that this is a dead body. And yes, this is Daniel Radcliffe, but I’ll introduce him formerly when the time comes.

Hank’s sad that the guy isn’t alive, but still speaks to him about his hopes and dreams in the past. He’d always wanted a life of parties and friends and love, and imagined that he’d see that kind of life in a flash before he died. Instead, he only saw the body, who responds with yet another fart. But with that, Hank goes back to trying to hang himself.

And as he does...the body keeps interrupting with its INSANE gas. Like, it’s so bad that the body keeps shaking as if it were alive. The body washes into the sea, and its flatulence begins to propel it away from the shore. Hank sees this, and he uses the humming he was doing to make the Intro Song, which is strangely mesmerizing? Like, literally soundtrack-worthy, I’m not kidding. He also grabs a piece of his noose, uses it to grab onto the body, and rides it as the farts propel them both far away from the beach. It’s absolutely absurd...and kind of great. And then the titles play.

Hank wakes up on the short of a different island, or possible a larger land mass, and is overjoyed by the change in scenery. He shouts his name to the world, and credits the body with his rescue. No longer stranded in the Pacific, as far as we know, he tries to use his phone, to no avail. He decides to head out and look for help, grabbing a bag of Cheetos that washed up alongside them, bids the body farewell...and then comes back for it.

Carrying the farting body on his back (and kind of treating him as if he’s alive), he wanders through the forest to find help. He wonders if the gas is the result of decomposition (likely, if excessive), or if its the body’s soul leaving it. Either way, the trudge forward. They settle in a cave for the night, as it rains heavily outside. As Hank is want to do, he hums to himself, and shares more of his personal life with the body, as he sings to it. And yeah, I’ve been linking to these songs, because the soundtrack is genuinely fascinating to me.

Morning comes, and Hank awakes to a raccoon prying at the body, which he subsequently chases for food. In his desperation for food and water, he’s once again about to leave the body in the cave, but notices it leaking copious amounts of water from its mouth, which it had collected from the cave walls overnight. And yes...he drinks it. Which is absolutely disgusting when you think about it, which I now choose NOT to.

In the process, Hank squeezes the body for more water, and air escapes his mouth in such a way that it sounds like it’s speaking a name: Manny (Daniel Radcliffe). From that, Hank gets the body to speak his name and a simple greeting, but grows frustrated from the inability of the body to speak properly. This leads to him being a bit abusive towards him, reminding him unfavorably of his own father. Ooh, character revelations, me like.

Anyway, he apologizes to Manny for treating him that way...and Manny responds. Which FREAKS HANK THE FUCK OUT, understandably, and he punches Manny and flees the cave. As he comes back, Manny is indeed speaking outright, which is either a miracle or Hank just straight-up hallucinating. Either way, Hank asks Manny to try and remember his past life, but all he can get is the vague recollection of the Jurassic Park theme song. But Manny can’t remember the movie itself, which is when Hank says the most correct line ever said in all of film.

You’re goddamn right. Anyway, from, there, Hank tries to teach Manny about the ways of the world, and the nature of life and death. And the resulting conversation is absolutely fuckin’ ridiculous, and I love it all. Through the process, Manny learns about the world, and Hank asks him to help get home.

In the process, Manny inadvertently insults Hank, causing to walk off and once again look for help, only to eat poison berries and throw up for a sec. The two reunite, and their conversation turns to the topic of sex. See, there are some magazines in the cave that they’re in, which prompts some questions about women, sex, and love. To both of their surprise, this conversation causes Manny’s heart to beat! Spurred on, Hank continues, and Manny’s heart appears to reawaken...as does his penis. That’s a link to the soundtrack, I promise.

Hank and Manny both freak out, as his little Manny seems to have a mind (and motility) of its own. But in the ever absurd nature of this movie’s premise, this too has a secondary function: it’s a compass. Yup. And that prompts the next step of their journey, which is full of a conversation about fetishes and masturbation. Yeah, Hank’s surprised about that, too.

This leads to a conversation about his parents, as well as somewhat traumatic parts of his childhood, including his mother’s premature death. This makes Hank upset, and he lashes out at Manny, who briefly returns to being dead until Hank apologizes. As they go on, however, they encounter another denizen of the forest: a bear. This causes the two to fall off a cliff, and causes Hank’s phone to fall out of his pocket and turn on, allowing Manny to see the picture of a girl on his background.

Manny’s enraptured by the picture, and constantly asks to see her again, as Hank continues to struggle for food. The problem is that Hank needs to conserve the power on the phone, but Manny asks if Hank can dress up as the girl in order to help him remember, and bring him back to life to help save them both. He does so reluctantly, but Manny calls him beautiful, to which Hank reacts positively. This not only helps Manny come to life a little more, but also leads Hank to shave to look more convincing for Manny...and possibly for Hank, too.

As these two engage on a fake date and create a fake bus (while Manny listens to a fake self-sung cover of Cotton Eye Joe that I’m putting on my playlist), this is a good time to mention the one thing I know about this movie...maybe. I don’t quite remember where I heard this, but I have heard that this film is possibly a commentary on the transgender experience, or at the very least that Hank is transgender, but hasn’t come to terms with that as of yet. Now, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I have heard that, and I’m definitely interested to see if that’s the direction this goes. This scene definitely seems to somewhat confirm this theory. Also, I will say (as I have said before when watching The Danish Girl), I’m a straight dude of the cissexual sort, so this is in NO WAY in my wheelhouse, but I still figured I’d mention it.

We’re also at the halfway point now, so this would seem like a good time to pause for Part 2! See you there!

#swiss army man #daniel scheinert #daniel kwan #daniel scheinert and daniel kwan #the daniels #daniel radcliffe #paul dano #mary elizabeth winstead #comedy april #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365days365movies #365 movies a year #moviegifs #tusernyx #userpayel #usermike

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getalittleclosey · 4 years

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under 50k larry fic rec

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 100k

100k+

☆ the beginning of everything by thedeathchamber 31k

“How do you take it?” Harry asked, pouring tea into a cup.

“Just a dash of milk, please,” Louis cast a look over the small table, filled to capacity. “They’re very fond of you.”

Harry ducked his head, grinning. “They’re trying to impress you.”

Louis smiled, shaking his head. “Why would they want to do that?” he asked as he took the cup Harry passed to him, their fingers brushing for an instant.

“Empathy,” Harry said under his breath.

A Belle Époque AU set (mostly) in Paris in which Harry is a struggling artist, in more ways than one, and Louis is a successful theatre critic and a failed writer, more or less.

☆ to kill the mess we’ve made by misandrogyny 43k

And when he's finally standing, Liam fussing over him, rubbing his hand at the red mark blooming on Harry's forehead, does Harry learn two things:

One, he wasn't actually hit that hard, and Tommo--or Louis, rather--is just as pretty when Harry is staring at him head-on and,

Two, Louis is the Adidas model he's going to be working with on today's photo shoot.

(or: AU where Harry and Louis are both models, and they decide being friends-with-benefits is a great idea. It isn't.)

☆ heart open, bloodstain on my sleeve by silkbombs (mulberrygrey) 36k

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry admits, one hand coming to rub the back of his neck, “I stared at you for a good while before I finally got the guts to come up to you. You looked so pretty sitting there, with your little ankles and your pencil in your mouth, so enthralling… art in front of art.”

Louis’ not sure what to say, so he just kind of sits there, eyes bugging out as he stares at Harry.

“I mean, like you’re not an object!” Harry rushes out, babbling.

“I just, there’s something about you that’s so captivating, and maybe it’s the way your eyes are like a watercolor painting of the sea, or how delicate your hands look when you draw, but I just wanted to get to know you. It’s not like I pick up random boys at art museums usually, I swear. Not that I’m trying to pick you up! Unless you want to be…God, fuck I’m sorry this is so awkward now. I can go, um, if you want."

--- Or, the one where Harry's the long limbed, gangly, sweetheart who just happens be a high profile art thief who conducts heists for a living and Louis' the loud, pushy art student who just happens to steal his heart.

☆ a king beside you by stylinsoncity 26k

When the aliens invade, the last thing Louis expects is to fall in love.

☆ the boys of summer by afirethatcannotdie 45k

“I mean…we’re gonna have to sneak around anyway, yeah? Like, with that whole rules thing that I guess we’ve decided to ignore. Might make it a little more fun this way.”

AU. In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry's a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they're forbidden to date.

☆ don’t let the tide come and take me by kiwikero 29k

The aquarium in the lobby has been there as long as Louis can remember, and so has the merman inside. That is, until the day Louis loses his job and decides to set the creature free.

They set off on a road trip to the sea, learning to communicate more and more each day. Their destination is LA, but the closer they get and the more Louis gets to know the merman, the more he dreads having to say goodbye.

Or, the one where Louis decides to set a merman free and ends up finding his own freedom along the way.

☆ introduction to dynamics by juliusschmidt 29k

Louis Tomlinson is the outspoken omega in the 'Introduction to Dynamics' course Harry wishes he didn't have to take. He's nearly certain to present as a beta, after all. Things will be simple for him.

☆ saved tonight by objectlesson 31k

Harry is the world's most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis's biggest fan. Louis hasn't written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It's probably destiny.

☆ once upon a dream by objectlesson 27k

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis.

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

☆ rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied 29k

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

☆ life was a song, you came along by rainbowninja167 38k

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain.

☆ learning to eat by photo41 29k

Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?!

Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

note: just to clarify this is NOT an eating disorder fic don’t worry

☆ runner on third by kikikryslee 40k

As Harry stood there, the other man turned around, and he knew he was correct in who he thought it was. “Louis?” he asked, still not quite believing it. Louis blinked. “Harry? Wh– what are you doing here?” “I work here,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?” “Um, I’m picking up my brother. The nurse called and said he was sick.” Harry felt like he was going to be sick. “Wait, Ernest is your brother? Since when do you have a brother?” “Since about seven years ago, I guess. Wait, how do you know Ernest?” “I’m his teacher.” “You’re his what?” Louis exclaimed. Harry gulped. This was going to be a long year. --- Or, the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

note: there are four fics in this series that total to 60k

☆ roots by cherrystreet 43k

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

☆ once upon a dream by thedeathchamber 33k

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

aka. the Medium/Criminal Minds-inspired AU no one ever asked for.

note: there’s a 24k sequel for this!

☆ the melody you never heard by bananasandboots 30k

It's one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall's his best mate. Liam's been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can't disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis.

Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he's never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn't brought up in three years because it's stupid and embarrassing and confusing.

Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

☆ born to make you happy by objectlesson 26k

Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend.

note: i literally had to take a break and reread this cause i love it so much

☆ close to nowhere by angelichl 35k

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

☆ adrenaline by reveries_passions 38k

“Harry Styles,” Nameless Boy who now has a name says. Louis is too busy having an internal crisis to realize the boy has just introduced himself as Harry Styles. Harry Styles, only son of Des Styles, PhD, Dean of Harvard Medical School. Harry Styles, known by everyone and their grandmother. Harry Styles, star rower. Harry Styles, youngest enrolled student in graduate school at Harvard University. Oh my god, Louis thinks, mortified. I just slept with Harry Styles. As he reaches out tentatively to shake the boy’s hand, another thought hits him. Oh my god. Harry Styles is gay.

louis tomlinson, college dropout, up and coming dj, and gay activist, is the notorious owner of exclusive underground gay club, adrenaline.

harry styles, med student by day, partier by night, child prodigy and seemingly heterosexual son of harvard professors, is the youngest and arguably the smartest student at harvard medical school.

or: a one night stand wasn't supposed to become the greatest love story of the 21st century.

☆ bloodsport by tofiveohfive 40k

“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left—”

Louis stops when he hears a chuckle.

He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation.

“‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”

☆ the haunting of louis tomlinson helloamhere 31k

“I'm not afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

Every single magnet unstuck itself from the fridge and fell to the floor in a clattering cascade.

“I'm only a little afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

*** OR: Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

☆ can i not like you for a while? by larryshares 43k

louis tomlinson is awful. harry is just as difficult, and they're both terrible to each other. it makes being in the same acapella group together quite complicated.

☆ delight in masques by kassio 28k

Popstar Louis Tomlinson has been pulling one over on the mortals for years. In the five years since he put on a human illusion and tried out for the X Factor, none of them have realised that he’s one of the Fair Folk – a cat shapeshifter, to be precise – and he’d like to keep it that way.

When he returns to the X Factor as a guest judge, the last thing he expects is for some half-Siren fool to use magic on the judges. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Harry Styles does. Now Louis has to track down some rogue changeling before he exposes them all. Even worse? Apparently, Harry doesn’t even know what he is.

(An urban fantasy adventure, set in the world of - but not crossing over with - the October Daye book series. No need to be familiar with those books; I just want to give credit where it's due on a lot of the worldbuilding.)

☆ no love like your love by rearviewdreamer 43k

When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.

note: i love vegan harry styles

☆ for neither never nor ever by fairytalelights 29k

Then Harry looked down. A newspaper was on the steps in front of him, looking new, like it had only just gotten delivered but no one had bothered to carry it inside yet. That, in itself, wasn't unusual. The unusual thing was the headline, Chernobyl - Half a Year Later, and the date in the corner. 5th November 1986. He looked up to stare at the girl in the doorway one last time, before he did the only logical thing his body knew how to do in this situation. He bolted.

or, the one where Harry travels through time and has to come to terms with losing everything he's ever known. Louis might be the only thing that feels real.

☆ worth dying for by whoknows 45k

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

☆ listen to your heart by lovelarry10 35k

Are you kidding me right now?

I… No? Louis frowned, feeling angry now. It wasn’t fair, he knew that, but at the same time, he couldn’t help his feelings. It felt like this had been brewing for weeks, and this was it. Give it a rest, Harry.

Why are you such a brat? Why can’t you just be happy for me for once?

You think I want to hear about you kissing James? Really, H? There’s things I just don’t need to know, okay? I’m your best mate, not your fucking relationship advisor…

*****

Louis has always been comfortable being Harry’s one and only. When Harry starts to branch out, Louis has a hard time letting him go.

Harry is very lucky to have someone who listens to what he has to say, despite the fact that he’s deaf. He’s finally feeling like he’s coming into himself, but Louis seems bothered by his newfound confidence.

☆ another day gettin’ into trouble by whoknows 26k

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

☆ all the right moves by cherrystreet 32k

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

☆ play the odds by alivingfire 26k

Harry and Louis are best friends since childhood who, after a night of drinking, find themselves locked in a bet: first one to kiss the other a thousand times wins. Wins what? They don't know. Glory, Harry supposes. Bragging rights, though those don't do much in this economy. All Harry knows is that this is one bet he can finally win. What he doesn't expect, though, is what happens when he starts kissing his best friend on a daily basis.

Namely, he doesn't expect falling head over heels in love with his best friend.

Now all he has to do is make sure the bet never ends, so he never has to stop kissing Louis.

#fic rec #mine #larry stylinson #one direction #apparently i really love objectlesson #cause they have fics on every list i think #30 of these!#fic masterpost

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hellyeahrpmemes · 5 years

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※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE: YEAR III ※

the thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college continues; these are all from my first semester of junior year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!

"Bippity-bop, is that the name of a song?"

"I'd like to die in Spain, in my lover's arms. Or just not be murdered, that'd be cool too."

"You've gotta hydrate before you die-drate."

"We are going to steal Niagara Falls."

"Roundabouts are my bitch."

"Being confused with a freshman isn't the worst thing to be confused with. Better than being confused with a serial killer."

"It was when I was three and almost burned down the house."

"Is that in the interview? How's your immune system?"

"The devil's weakness is shrubbery."

"I have a very strong immune system because I'm gross."

"It's supposed to help my hairline… it’s not gonna help my hairline.”

“You have to rest to fight the chairs.”

"If you scroll back far enough, you'll see her post pictures from her mission trip, as the whites do."

“She used to be full of sunshine and rainbows and then she turned into a bitch.”

"No hand holding. Only blowjobs."

"Elon Musk is gonna cry."

"Are you about to be in a porno but in real life?"

"Autocorrect is a Jewish saint."

"He's a claymation penguin and he will change your life."

"Our fridge was just organized like... shitty Tetris."

"I had two bananas and six pieces of cookie dough... I need to go to the grocery store."

"Goodnight, you... people..."

"There's only four very very sticky coffee colored pennies."

"When you're kinda kinky: spank-esque."

"Officer, you can't arrest me. It's gameday.”

"Welcome back to Sophie Doesn't Know How To Accurately Portion Food. On this episode, we're making a fuck load of pasta."

"On a scale of one to ten, he was fine."

"I'm gonna pour barbecue sauce all over my finger and act like I cut it off."

"The cornbread might be a minute, but the porn-bread won't be."

"First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you."

"After this game, we could go to the dining hall and get unlimited biscuits."

"We took a vote. You're going to have to start needlepointing."

"I thought it couldn't rain in here...! I thought that was a myth...!"

"No, I can make soup. I can't make pie!"

"The leather riding crop. A classic."

"You want me to distill the water? Harvest a fucking raincloud?"

"I need to straight up snort caffeine pills for it to work."

"You do your homework, you die."

"If you accidentally stab me, it would be really funny?"

"Do you guys take ghost money?"

"When I was little, I really liked showering in the dark."

"Not to be dramatic, but are you going to tell him you love him?"

"Somebody broke into my car last night and smoked meth."

"Maybe they were talking about someone else, but now I'm sad."

"Am I eating sawdust or cardboard?"

"And then he sent three pictures of Mediterranean food."

"Just stand there and be sad."

"There are no more Toys R Us kids. Only Crate And Barrel adults."

"That cake almost killed me. I'll have more, please."

"Would you like some Jesus?"

"I don't care how convenient it is, never buy milk at the gas station."

"He just destroyed his table with an ax that he found on the street."

"Deep fried Coca-Cola...! Solidify it, deep fry it, eat it."

"You Uber to class? Like... all the time?"

"I'm not even going to try. No, you know what? I am going to try."

"How do you pronounce "p-h-t-h"?"

“That’s a good cloud! Let’s cheer for that cloud!”

"Also, I was sad and drunk, so..."

"What happens if you pour beer on a candle?"

"Nobody minds a little violence in October."

"Apparently, they don't poop out of their mouths."

"Are you ever $270 in credit card debt and you just don't care?"

"You know what we had to read last year? 1200 pages of Don Quick-sote."

"She had an attack of religious conscience and she was like, mmm, the devil."

"I'm Billy Wilder, and you can go fuck yourself."

"I paid for these with student loans and complaining."

“I was so stressed I blacked out.”

"I was listening to a sad audiobook, about to cry on the Stairmaster."

"So God comes out, dick swinging..."

"It's only from May to September, because that's... prime goat season."

"Really tempted to buy a dog or a raccoon right now."

"He's such a cute little tall man."

"Sammy serves no man."

"Tell me I did a great job."

“I’ll speak for everyone and say we have no idea what’s going on.”

“Maybe we can have an affair next week.”

"The colors of the wind need to chill."

“It has 18 wheels! That’s too many wheels!”

"I had a nightmare about that ham."

"It's almost like Groundhog Day, but awful."

"Come to the darkness. We don't have cookies and we have sad but like still come."

"Alright, let's go eat this ass."

"Military hardware is not my thing."

"Put me down for two scoops of pain, please."

"Gotta get away from the capitalists."

"Color schemes like this are what happens when you don't have any gay men in your life."

"I won 86 cents."

"Can we kill death itself?"

"Stuff on bread -- a category I can get behind."

"If I can't be gay in my own home where can I be gay?"

"There was a little tiny towel that I used to dry most of my body."

"Frazzled onions - they have an exam tomorrow."

"Everybody loves you and the ones that don’t, they're going to jail."

"It's no big deal, but Buzzfeed told me I'd find my husband abroad, so..."

"These two men, a combined height of 12'10"..."

"It was one AM and I was not about to get into the Pussy Discourse but I am now."

"I'm a Suffering major."

"That's my 1/100th of a cent that I worked for."

"They misspelled canoeing ‘canerfing’."

"I sent nudes in a Waffle House bathroom"

"On Monday, let's all get together and cry."

"I'm never going to do that again. But probably tomorrow."

"All I know is that those two glasses look like six."

"If you play a draw four card, I'm gonna sneak into your room and slit your throat."

"I don't wanna drink for men."

"We are stressing in Chili's."

"I'm just going to start violently screaming."

"Now you've become a catfish with a cause."

"Blessed be the power of bullshit."

“I love that movie. I’ve seen it one time. I love that movie.”

"Taco Bell could fist me in the ass."

#mine #rp memes #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starters #shit i heard #welcome back to surprise i'm still in college

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theclaringtonhq · 5 years

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thehuntison (ft. @bradyhq) uploaded a new video to youtube:

“Hey everyone, Hunter here, again... and this time I’m dragging my little bro Brady on screen with me, wave for the pretty people, Brady, for some family bonding time while we answer assumptions about ourselves. He’s going to keep me honest.”

“If it was possible you would change a lot about your upbringing . Part of me says I would like to. However, that being said that would change who I am and where I am right now, and while it might make me more sure of some things, it could erase the things I’m sure about. So... no. No I wouldn’t.”

"I got you resent the way you were raised and... same thing, I guess. I wouldn't wanna change how I am or whatever, but...yeah, I don't know, man. I guess if I could go just take off some of the pressure put on us when we were just kids, that wouldn't be so bad. But I don't think we really gotta go down that rabbit hole right now."

"Wouldn't that have been nice? Less pressure. About everything. And just.... more acceptance. Alright, now I have you are hard to please. I feel like this is kind of fair. I have high expectations of myself and I do like things a certain way. I try not to push that on to other people but I understand why wet towels on the bed is a relationship-ender. Do you think I'm hard to please Brady?"

"I'd say you're a little hard to please, yeah. I mean, I don't know if I've ever gone out of my way to try, to be totally honest, but like, generally, I see it. I think we both are in some ways. 'Cause we both like to win and whatever. Which makes sense, since this next one is y'all assuming I'm competitive and I gotta say you hit the nail right on the head. It's like a given when you're a Clarington. Right?"

"That's an entirely accurate description Brady. Clarington's are notoriously competitive. And I'd fight anyone out there to prove that point. So I kind of figured this one was coming so I might as well get it out of the way. You pretend you don't have emotions just to fuck people without any risk of attachment." {a pause} "This is one hundred percent accurate." {Another pause} “But there is a flaw in your assumption. Because if you are pretending, then the risk of attachment is still very much real and you’re only fooling yourself. I might fall into the dumb category, but I’m not that dumb. I haven't crushed a lot. I"ve only....no. Yeah. We're not talking about that."

"But I'll say this. I tell people up front not to expect feelings from me, because I honestly don't feel or express them easily. This absolute Angel of a man put up with me and every single bit of my shit, waiting, for me to say three simple little words that he said as simply as other people say good day. But he didn't just say them, he felt them, he demonstrated them and the best I could do was say 'thank you'. You know what, I wanted to say them back, I tried to say them back but it's hard as fuck to trust yourself when you've never felt that before, when you've decided you're someone who doesn't easily love. It's a bit like saying I'm gay but I'm going to have straight relationships. So no it's not just to fuck without risk of attachment. I'm trying to not hurt anyone else. BRADY talk now please."

“Hey, listen man, you do you. This is like a tell all or whatever, you say what you gotta say. But if you wanna move on, I gotchu, ‘cause my next one is that Bravie is real. All I really gotta say is... y’all really can’t let this go, can you? I mean, for real. It’s not any of your business so I don’t see why you all think you have a right to know shit about shit. Stevie’s my best friend and my roommate and I film and edit his videos, period. So sure, Bravie’s real. We exist in the same universe and apparently that’s all it takes for you guys to get all weird.” [pause] “Anyway. Moving right along. You’re up, bro.”

"I got you bro. And for the record folks I live with Stevie's older brother Sam and HAM is not a thing. Well it is, in real life, as in the stuff you eat. But yeah moving on to something more mellow.... you're actually really nice and sane and definitely not a serial killer. So I think there are probably only a handful of people that would say all three of these things so thank you whoever it was. I'm NOT a serial killer. I like to think I'm sane most of the time, but obviously, I'm not really all that nice. Care to weigh in little brother?"

"I mean, I can definitely chime in and say you're not a serial killer. And I'd say you're fairly sane. I don't even fully understand where that whole serial killer thing came from. You guys are weird. Anyway... you don't like when people think you owe them anything. Just kinda went off about this exact thing, so like, case in point, or whatever. So maybe I'll also do another quick mellow one: you don't know how to use chopsticks. And that's just rude, 'cause I'm a slut for sushi. These people thinkin' we're uncultured as fuck, man."

"Well you can keep your sushi Brady. But we both know how to use chopsticks; we're not uncultured. You're one of those guys that doesn't even like to kill spiders. This is true. I like to re-home them. But this is because I grew up believing that killing a spider meant you were bringing on rain. I don't even know where that came from. But I like sun and being outside and in the pool, so yeah, I know it has to rain, but I won't kill a spider to bring it on. They also eat other bugs. Just saying. Well...that's it for me. Do you have another?"

"Yeah, save the spiders, bro. They're just tryna eat flies and shit. That too though, I remember hearing that rain superstition stuff. And you know me and my superstitions. Yeah, I got one more... you are adopted. Cute, but false. I don't really know how to prove that other than, like...you can call my mom, or I guess Hunter can confirm too, 'cause you were there and all."

"Okay, I'm going to admit, I might have said this too you a time or three growing up, because isn't that what siblings do. But no, as Brady said, I can confirm, he's not adopted. I saw our Mother's belly and I saw you in the hospital too. So nope, he's full on Clarington. If I ever need a kidney... or maybe you should just donate part of your heart."

“That’s deep bro. You should get that embroidered on a pillow or somethin’. I’ll keep it on my couch. But I guess we’re done here, huh? Nice little kumbaya we had here. I think we all learned a little something.”

#ihq:vlogwars #ihq:donate #ihq:rocknryot #ihq:collab #hqhunter:musings #all:brady #//ignore that it looks like Hunter is flirting with Brady? I tried okay?

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bobbystompy · 6 years

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64 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2017

Below are my favorite quotes from 2017. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

(Allison Greene)

The irony and thematic implication of this first quote -- transcribed in January -- is not lost on me.

1) “I wish you all a Happy New Year. Meaning that I wish for your New Years Eve to be happy. It’s hard to wish hundreds of thousands of people to have an entire happy year. That’s a lot. That feels greedy and hopeless and also some of you might not deserve a happy year. Everyone deserves a happy moment or day now and again but a whole happy year I would wish on maybe eight people and four of them are terminally ill children.

Also please remember that the turning over of one year to another is a mental construct that bears no more weight than the things that keep us apart and in competitive categories as human beings. Time is not moving. You’re not losing or gaining ground. You’re not separate from ‘them’ anymore than you’re separate from your own umbrella. It’s now, we’re us and this is here. If you’re in pain, this too shall pass. If you’re in luxury, this too shall pass. Ask an old lady how she’s doing. The internet is not real. Draw a picture on a napkin.” - Louis C.K.

2) “Flowers cost money you could spend on alcohol.” - Tracy Cunningham

3) "Never make fun of people for mispronouncing a word. It means they learned it by reading."

[that one felt profound when I first read it, but there are probably holes you can poke]

4) “Middle America does not have a monopoly on tough times.” - Drew Magary

5) “The whole point of going to a wedding is to complain about it.” - Drew Magary

6) “The world is too noisy and distracted to probably ultimately survive. Everyone needs to shut the fuck up. The answers are in the silence. Monks set themselves on fire to protest and make this point.

Just consider it.” - Garry Shandling

7) “The fact that Chargers fans get to live in San Diego isn’t as much of a solace as you think, either. When you’re unhappy, Southern California can be the loneliest fucking place in the world. Everywhere you look, you are surrounded by people whose lives are seemingly more perfect than your own. And the fantastic weather acts a kind of lingering nag... an irritating reminder that you SHOULD be happy even if you’re not. When you live somewhere miserable, at least you have an excuse for it. People leave you alone, or they help you drink the pain away indoors. You’re not surrounded by a bunch of fucking Jack LaLannes and Navy steakheads making it worse.

[...]

This is how the San Diego Chargers ended, and their fans deserved better. There won’t even be rain to help water the team’s grave.” - Drew Magary

8) There is no meeting without a Gentry story. He tells the story of Doug Collins’s college coach at Illinois State, Will Robinson, putting Collins in front of a mirror and saying, “Now, that’s an ugly motherfucker.” Then Robinson gets a basketball, hands it to Collins, and says, “Now you’re a handsome motherfucker.”

-- “Seven Seconds or Less” by Jack McCallum

9) "This is gonna be bad. So be good." - Patton Oswalt, on the next four years

10) REPORTER: You always hear about guys in the zone. What’s it like to be in that zone and have that moment two games in a row?

DION WAITERS: Oh man, I love that moment. I mean, you can never shy away from that. I just feel—one of my favorite quotes is, uh ... I forgot it already. One of my favorite quotes. But yeah, can’t be afraid of taking them shots.

11) "No person can be explained in one trait." - Jason Benetti

12) That Federer could dig so deep without losing the spirit of grace and generosity he has carried for much of his career--amazingly, it didn't sound insincere when he told the crowd in Melbourne that he would've been happy if Nadal had won--was enough to make Agassi introspective. He fired off a text to a friend, fellow American ex-pro James Blake. Watching Federer, Agassi wrote, "makes me feel like I was much more of a broken person than I even realized."

-- the 2017 Australian Open

13) “Do you, because everyone else is taken.” - Uber driver

14) Federer's physical skills have tended to obscure just how he resilient he has been throughout his career--a point not lost on him. "My mental toughness has always been overshadowed by my virtuosity, my shotmaking, my technique, my grace," says Federer. "That's why when I lose, it seems like, 'Oh, he didn't play so well.' And when I win, it looks so easy." He says it has been that way since he was young. "Just because I don't sweat like crazy and I don't grunt, I don't have this face on when I hit the shot like I'm in pain, doesn't mean I'm not trying hard," he says. "It's just how I play. Sorry."

15) "I’ve always said the only way to change anyone’s opinion is to make him laugh first. It still is." - John Waters

16) “Women like babies. Men like their sons and daughters.” - Kevin Haack

17) “At once, Federer would triumph over his two greatest rivals: Nadal and Hawk-Eye.” - Chris Almeida, on Roger Federer’s 2017 Aussie Open win

18) “Brady did everything in Super Bowl 51 short of fertilizing crops with his own feces to feed his teammates.” - Bill Simmons

19) “It's still hard to believe the Falcons actually lost this game. They're the first team in Super Bowl history to lose with a pick-six in its pocket, one that felt like an unlikely gift given that it came from Brady. Some will throw around the "choker" label, which is inelegant at best and condescendingly incurious at worst. If choking means running after a quarterback on 68 dropbacks until there's hardly any air left in your lungs, the Falcons choked.” - Bill Barnwell

20) “Keep in mind: Plenty of people already think Chance The Rapper is corny. Plenty of people have been thinking it for years. Plenty of people who now love Chance The Rapper had to get over the corniness threshold, to train themselves to love the yawpy ad-libs an the voice-cracks and the general hyperactive teenage energy. When Chance won Best New Artist and howled the word 'God' in his acceptance speech about 32 times, I saw plenty of grumbling — We get it, dude, you believe in God — in my Twitter timeline. Someone even said that the music industry had figured out how to manufacture a marketable version of Christian-rap figurehead Lecrae. And that gets at another common complaint about Chance: that he’s an 'industry plant,' a creature created by the music business, one who uses 'independent' as a buzzword rather than as any kind of unifying philosophy. Those of us who love Chance, that line of thinking goes, have been somehow hoodwinked or manipulated into it. And there have been plenty of other perceived sins over the years: the overalls, the KitKat commercial, the constant references to Nickelodeon cartoons, the persistent smiling. Whether or not you love Chance, there is a strong possibility that he’s annoyed you once or twice.” - Tom Breihan

21) “Traveling is the antidote to ignorance.” - Trevor Noah

22) "But mostly, it's in how Celebration Rock treats every day like the last day of school, raising a glass to the past, living in the moment and going into the future feeling fucking invincible." - Ian Cohen

23) “In fact, it turned out that there was nothing ‘dangerous’ at all in picking on women and refugees. People will pay you good money for that. The dangerous ideas are the ones they don’t pay you for, the ones that don’t get you on HBO. You’re actually dangerous when you do what Yiannopoulos did in the ‘pedophile’ tapes: defend society’s most hated outcasts, and tell the truth about the complexities of gay men’s sexuality. You’re dangerous when you stick up for those on the fringes rather than kicking them. There’s nothing courageous or edgy in bullying the despised and excluded. But it might be dangerous if you dared to empathize with them.” - Nathan J. Robinson

24) [Taj] Gibson was asked if his dunk over Dwyane Wade was his favorite moment as a Bull. "It really wasn't. That was just a dunk. It really wasn't one of my favorite moments of my career, to be honest with you. I had a lot of shining moments in my career. Just being around Thibs, he taught me that people don't look at, some of the games, most of the games, they look at the bright spots. I have a lot of different bright spots in my career. The biggest one in my career would have to be just being on the team when guys were down and having a coach look at me and know that he can count on me. No matter what position, no matter what time in the game. And he would trust some of the most important plays for me to do. Those were the most important moments of my life, just having a guy between Fred and coach Thibs, knowing guys that are ahead of me, making twice as much money as me, and he's still calling my name through crunch time. Those were the best moments of my life."

[have some, Carlos Boozer]

25) “You can't let politics dictate what you read or who you fuck.” - Chuck, “Girls”

26) “Watching Kawhi Leonard play basketball is like when you get the email you’ve been waiting for and it says all of the things you were hoping it was going to say.” - Shea Serrano

27) “This isn't a choice, like my diet. This is a necessity, like my drinking.” - Ben, “Veep”

28) “It's like how love songs never go out of style because no one's ever written one that's closed the book on the subject.” - Brian King, Japandroids

29) Pitchfork: A lot of the lyrics on the album take advantage of this universal, mythic rock'n'roll language, like on "Fire's Highway": "Hearts from hell collide/ On fire's highway tonight/ We dreamed it, now we know."

Brian King (Japandroids): Personally, I really like the concepts of good and evil, heaven and hell-- the extreme boundaries of how people can feel and how fast things can change. I like that that language. I'm not talking about just some night you felt a certain way, I'm talking about the night you felt that way-- that one time. People have always alluded to those extremes as a way of characterizing the most intense feelings since blues and the early days of rock. A blues singer won't be like, "We broke up." He'll say, "Satan stole my baby from me." You just pick it up.

30) “Friends of mine, hitting partners, are Federer fans for real. They own his racket, his sneakers, the hat with his RF logo. When he loses, they're wrecked; when he wins, it's only slightly less painful, because it's one fewer win they get to witness.” - Rosecrans Baldwin

31) “Bad ideas rarely spread when the population is educated about better alternatives.” - Greg Graffin

32) This entire story (9:47 to 10:15)

youtube

RIP, Don Rickles (1926-2017)

33) “Being pregnant is cool and weird: Your bones ache, your gums bleed, your ligaments basically just start giving up. (A hormone called ‘relaxin’ is involved.) You plan decades ahead, then worry you’re jinxing it all. You’ve got a decreasingly nebulous imaginary friend there to listen to your hopes and fears at all hours and you occasionally get the hiccups. But the strangest thing about being with child is the way your body becomes not yours, and not even the baby’s, but the world’s. Complete strangers reach out and touch. Internet commenters opine. Photos of yourself splayed postpartum on a gurney, hair matted to the side of your face, one boob swung free, are triumphantly text-messaged to fathers-in-law without your express written consent.

It’s not fair, it’s never fair, but it’s nevertheless the shared experience of so many women during a powerful, vulnerable time.” - Katie Baker

34) "I just watched Deadheads spin around for three hours looking for miracles." - Brad Back

35) “Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt

36) "The Spurs’ run of NBA success is now old enough to vote, and in a couple of years it will be legally old enough to share finely aged red wines with Popovich, although I suspect he’s been slipping it glasses at home for a few years now. One of the cornerstones of that success has been an ability to find talent where nobody else looked." - Rodger Sherman

37) "Cutting at the right time is more important than being fast." - Bill Belichick

38) “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” - “Justified”

39) “An asshole is not a brilliant visionary just because a toilet has a bottomless appetite for what comes out of it.” - Albert Burneko, on the passing of Roger Ailes

40) "He would’ve been a rock star no matter where he’d been born, or when." - Rob Harvilla on Chris Cornell

41) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." - Rod Stewart

42) “I have never regretted taking a walk. Every time you walk, a bunch of cool shit happens. You burn calories, for one thing. You think of cool ideas. You also get an immediate sense of the layout and vibe of wherever you happen to be. It’s a cheap shortcut to feeling like a local. I walked around downtown Atlanta for two hours once, which was long enough for me to realize, ‘Oh hey, this is the part of town that sucks!’ Then I went and walked around a cooler part.

Also, walking forces me to pocket my phone and actually look around for a bit (in theory…sometimes I check the phone while walking, which is galactically fucking stupid and could get you killed). I can actually feel GOOD about the world when I walk around, because I’m seeing it as it stands now, instead through the horrifying prism of online news and discourse. The sun still shines out there. People are smiling. It’s not bad. You wouldn’t even know we’re all gonna die soon. Not everything has rotted away just yet. You can leave the shifting sand dunes of the day far behind, to borrow a phrase from Professor Fartsniffer up there.

Also, you don’t have to look for a parking spot.

I walked today. I walked past a school and saw a bunch of kids playing touch football and they accidentally launched the ball over the fence and into the road, where they couldn’t get it. So they asked me to grab it for them. I hucked it back over and one kid shouted ‘YOU DA REAL MVP!’ And you know what? For that one little moment, I was, indeed, da real MVP. Step aside, Kevin Durant’s mom. I saved touch football. What did you ever do?

That kind of experience isn’t really possible when you’re sitting in a car. When you drive, you’re basically in a kind of self-imposed purgatory. The goal is to get wherever you’re headed so that you can resume your life again. I have tried to slow down and savor my surroundings while driving but it rarely works out because A) It’s not safe and B) I want to make good time. I have my eyes on the road and my ears on my SWEET TUNEZ, and I’m only slowing down to gawk at an overturned milk truck. ‘Wow, that looks BAD.’

The most important moments in life usually happen when you’re walking. Ever ask someone you’re dying to go out with if they wanna go for a walk, and they say yes? It feels fucking GREAT. That’s gonna be a good walk. Then maybe you two walk down the aisle after you get married, and then walk through the hospital to see your new baby in the nursery, and then walk with that child as takes its first steps. And then maybe someone close to you dies, and you have to walk with their casket to their gravesite. I’ve made some of these walks. I haven’t forgotten any of them.” - Drew Magary

43) "‘A great nation does not hide its history, it faces its flaws and corrects them.’ - George W. Bush

Let us again state clearly for all to hear. The Confederacy was on the wrong side of history and humanity. It sought to tear apart our nation and subjugate our fellow Americans to slavery. This is a history we should never forget and one that we should never ever again put on a pedestal to be revered." - Mitch Landrieu

44) "Just found out Joyce Manor is playing in Bristol on 7/13. When god closes a door, he opens a moshpit." - Chris Trott, after missing the Captain, We're Sinking Show in Chicago on 7/12 due his England trip

45) “The most prestigious honor in music isn't a Grammy. It's ‘I like this band enough to see them at 10:30 p.m. on a Wednesday.’” - Steven Hyden

46) “I think of you every time I speed up my podcasts.” - Christine Jastrow’s 31st birthday tribute to yours truly

47) "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." - James Joyce

48) “Personally speaking, a millennial is anyone younger than me who gets on my fucking nerves. I don’t think of like, Dak Prescott as a millennial, because he seems cool. But Chris Brown? Fuck him sideways.” - Drew Magary

49) "It's a scientific fact that a beer tastes better when it travels more than 5 feet in the air" - @PFTCommenter

50) Dustin Brown perfectly summed up what it's like to play on Centre Court. "It would be nice if we're playing every match out there. It's very comfortable. Even when things aren't going your way, it relaxed me a bit to say 'this is where you always wanted to be,'" he said after his Wimbledon second round loss to defending champ Andy Murray.

51) "One thing I’ve always found fascinating about Federer (or, rather, the way we talk about Federer) is that there’s never been any backlash. Normally, when an athlete has been around as long as Federer has, and has been as great as Federer has, and is on the receiving end of so much adulation, some sort of noticeable backlash occurs. Never with Fed.

Relatedly, people root for Federer unabashedly, and did so even during that stretch in the 00's when he was as dominant a force as any sport has seen. Casual fans tend to root for the underdog, but Federer was so sublime that he made people root for Goliath." - Andrew, Deadspin reader

52) “‘Federer manages to scamper across himself’ is one of the more Federer tennis calls I've ever heard.” - Brian Phillips

53) “Everything before the word ‘but’ is horseshit.” - Jon Snow

youtube

54) “Be present.” - Megan Filip

55) "The successful person is one who finds an opportunity in every problem. Unsuccessful people find a problem in every opportunity." - Lou Holtz

56) “It ain’t a hit till Nate Dogg spit.” - Mack 10

57) "Nobody goes to work tomorrow. General strike, fuck this country." - some of Blake Schwarzenbach first words at the Jawbreaker reunion

58) “It’s hard getting good news -- you don’t know what to do with it.” - Blake Schwarzenbach, at the first Jawbreaker show in forever

59) “When I was a child, I spoke like a child.” - Davis,“Treme”

60) “In one sense, the story of human history is just people inventing progressively more advanced ways in which to be awful idiots, in groups.” - David Roth

61) "Reality gives nothing back and nor should you." - Kobe Bryant

62) “Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

63) "Brevity is the soul of wit" - William Shakespeare

64) "If I shoot an airball, call the foul." - Dirk Nowitzki

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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i waited to get up until 7:30 after going to bed around 11, but i was still awake for a large portion of the night. i know because snoopy would meow and i meowed back like five separate times. it’s funny because if i reply she meows again, but if i don’t she goes quiet.

i spent too much time dicking around on the internet so i skipped my workout and just went straight to the vet’s office. it was kind of raining so instead of waiting for the bus to come to my side of the road i caught it going the other way and waited at the bus station in the bus to start the route. on the way there the bus hit a bump and the woman across from me dropped her baby car seat trying to save her purse and i near dove out of my chair trying to catch it.

i think she wanted to start up a conversation after that but i REALLY didn’t want to talk so i just smiled at her and looked away. i drummed my outside three fingers against the side of my seat. my right index finger was still bandaged from yesterday and i didn’t have a lot of mobility with it.

i’ve been smiling at people a lot while out in public. i guess apologetically. like, sorry for being on the sidewalk here. sorry you caught me looking at you briefly. but i’m so afraid of ignoring someone i walk by. like, it would be rude to not acknowledge them, right? it ends up getting me into a lot of conversations i don’t really want to have though.

it was worse in flagstaff. getting stopped by random men. i think i wrote about it here a few times when it happened. like the 50/60-something man who indirectly asked me out and i pretended it was a joke. here it was the gay couple. the first guy was louder and said i was the first person who had acknowledged his existence all day. the second guy was quieter and i felt REALLY bad asking him to speak up every other sentence. like in a weird indirect way i was, like, forcing him to be more public about his boyfriend or his homelessness.

but i’ve been having a lot of trouble understanding people lately. i guess because there are so many new voices and i don’t have any familiar people who i already know how they talk. i can’t pick these new people out from a crowd or a busy street.

i have to ask mom to repeat herself all the time too because i don’t catch the first or last half of her sentence sometimes. she kind of sighs and repeats herself. i feel stupid like i can’t focus long enough to hear a single sentence.

after i picked up snoopy’s medicine i ran all the way to another bus route’s stop so i wouldn’t have to wait for over an hour again. i caught the bus right as it was driving up, but when i looked up i noticed i was standing by the interstate sign and not a bus stop. the bus stopped for me anyway though and i wanted to thank the driver for a million years. he looked kinda bored though.

so when i got home 10 minutes after leaving the vet’s office i cleaned my apartment and started my laundry and washed some dishes and put together my schedule for the month on my calendar. snoopy is one of very few cats who doesn’t like the flavor of the medicine so i had to hold her down. she was pretty mad at me for like an hour. i left some (new from uncle mike!) cookies on the ottoman for her and she ate them while i wasn’t looking. i put off lunch for a long time. when i finally did eat i only made it through half the serving. i could tell, when i sat and thought about it, that i was still really hungry. but my body just said “nope, no more” and i lost all interest even though i knew i was going to be hungry and weak later.

after that snoopy was sick on one of the rugs so i put that in the wash? i think? i forget when that happened. either way around 2:30 or so i went out to the grocery store. i only spent like 33 dollars for the week’s worth of food this time. i had left my list a little open-ended, so i spent a while looking at different things and ended up picking none of them. it’s hard to get myself to buy food for the future when i look at everything and my body says “meh.......”

when i got back i finished up the taz episode i had started last night and bummed around online instead of making dinner at the time i normally eat. i didn’t start cooking anything until around 7 when i usually have my food ready around 6:10. i didn’t make a ton of food so i didn’t have as much trouble forcing it all down as i did at lunch. i had a little ice cream afterward too while snoopy sat next to me.

i dunno... i started feeling worse as the evening went on. tomorrow’s my birthday. the physics grads all want to go to the museum of natural history since i suggested it when i saw the flyer on my fridge.

i was folding some laundry last-minute when it really hit me that i have a lot of emotional problems. it was like getting dunked in cold water. i had a similar problem back when my courses got changed on wednesday... these people don’t know anything about me. it’s impossible to choose a “first time” for them to see me at my “worst.” maybe jennica saw me pass out during the prelim exams and it doesn’t even matter. i don’t know that for sure though.

i’ve been grinding my teeth a lot. it hurts a lot. the dentist never called me back though and i haven’t had time/energy to try again. i’ll have to do that on tuesday and see what i can do.

just, thinking about craig i guess. and game theory and different categories of players. these are related because game theory applies to social interaction by way of, like, tolerance of miscommunication. i was gonna say he changed the way i play the social game but actually thinking about it further, he didn’t change it at all.

for all the emotional impact it feels like he left on my life sometimes, when i think about it in the context of the rest of my life it isn’t a particularly special occurrence. he insulted me and betrayed me and belittled me in all the same ways everyone else has since early grade school. since, like, kindergarten. even the assault in particular is like, that’s not what gave me trust issues with physical contact around other people. mom hitting me all the time when i was 4 did that more than anything else.

so why, when i think about why i feel so bad all the time, does that icky feeling of getting sat on (more than sat on) while trying to nap come up first, floating to the top like gross fat? even before everything else that came before it? why were the words craig used practically the exact same as the words everyone else before him used but it’s his face saying them when i think about it?

maybe it’s easier to hate one person than it is to hate everyone. i don’t know.

unwanted contact overload happened before him too! in high school people would sit on my lap while i was in the common room talking to my friends. people would grab my shoulders from behind and start digging their thumbs into my shoulder blades as some weird sign of affection. that happened at nau after i left villanova too! that must have been like the only time i ever snapped at heather.

man... i know my journal entries here are really long. if you’re reading all the way through them... thanks, i guess. i know i’m Just Too Much. too much, all the time, never ending, just a flood of sewage emotions leaking everywhere. i don’t have anywhere else to process all this stuff. i don’t have a therapist right now. haven’t seen a psychiatrist in over nine months. group doesn’t start for another 4-5 weeks. though when group starts i’ll probably be complaining about that long-windedly here too.

i’m always too much. i don’t know how to make myself any smaller. i don’t think i can tuck even a single fold more of my Too Muchness into myself without something else spilling out.

i’ve been having a thought, the last few weeks, as i’ve started grad school. that thought is “i am setting myself up to fail, because i am not allowed to have nice things, because i am bad and i hate myself.”

... i mean, it’s certainly a thought i am having. but just because it’s occurred to me that it might be the case, doesn’t mean it is the case, you know? and it doesn’t have to always be the case. but one thing i am doing about the thought is nothing. i feel like... i need permission to stop thinking that way. i need someone who is not me to look at the thought and say “hmm, yeah, that sucks, but here is that magical confidence that you have been missing for years so now you don’t have to think that way any more. i have been keeping spare confidence in my desk here, you see, and since you just so happened to come along i can give it to you like a big shiny diploma.” even though my last big shiny diploma, my, my physics degree, did nothing except make me feel bad.

i feel like... i don’t want to do anything else with my life. if i’m not going to do something that i personally think is important then what’s the point. i’m just taking up space and not contributing to the conversation. even though at this point i’m pretty sure i don’t have anything to contribute anyway and that makes me want to die because now i’m just a drain on everyone’s energy. i’m something that people have to Deal With. like an attention leech.

how can i ever be happy if i am not doing something that matters to me? what if i could do the Most Important thing in line with my values?

well, if i could do that, why bother with the second most important thing? it’s not as important as the most important thing. i don’t have a lot of time to live and when you don’t have enough time to do everything you gotta prioritize, right?

but if i can’t do the Most Important thing... what’s even the point? i’m just gonna sit there on the sidelines and look at that important thing and know that it can’t be important to me. because i can’t work toward completing the thing, so i will have to put something else in front of it. but what in life could ever be more beautiful than the stars? what’s more elegant than the act of looking at stuff and figuring out how it works from the information you have? what’s more fun than making up rules and seeing if reality agrees with you?

and... if someday i find that i can’t do this, and i have to find something else that’s beautiful and fun, then i’ll have to live knowing that there was something more interesting that i couldn’t do.

i know not everyone has that attitude. and not everyone can have that attitude. and i’m starting to think i might also be in that situation. but i can’t tell if it’s because i’m actually in that situation or because i’ve got something in the way that i need to get out of the way before i can continue.

maybe it’s selfish of me to think this way, or it means i’m spoiled. but like... if i’m only going to be alive once, and for a limited time, then if i can’t do what i think is the most important then what’s the point?

i don’t know if i’m someone worth getting to know. i’m so stupid that i want to do physics but i can’t find a way to actually do it. if i can’t be creative and resourceful people will think i am boring and then i will be alone.

maybe i am making myself boring because i want to be alone. or, i think people will realize i am secretly boring and then leave anyway so maybe i am saving them time by letting them know upfront. if you make everyone hate you, you don’t have to worry about anyone ever loving you! and you don’t have to worry about betraying that love.

if you die from an injury, you don’t have to worry about what will happen if you survive your injury and have to live with that for the rest of your life.

#tw assault

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ghostofmoriarty · 7 years

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Fictional Favorites Tag Game

I was tagged by @yourgoodfriendraichel so here goes I am going to follow in Raichel’s footsteps and put this under a break, because oooh boy did it get long 1. What is your MBTI? It changes every time I take the test, but INTP /INTJ are my most common results

2. What is your Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw. I’m quite the academic these days.

3. Are you a book person or a TV person? I love books on principle, but I love tv so much and it’s so much more CONVENIENT. (this is @yourgoodfriendraichel‘s answer, but it’s so 100% accurate, I’m keeping it)

4. What is your favorite book series? Harry Potter will always have a special place in my heart, as will Percy Jackson and Cirque du Freak. I love Dirk Gently (Douglas Adams was an amazing writer through and through) and Sherlock Holmes because I am garbage for a good detective story. ASOIAF and the entire Tolkienverse (LotR et al) are some of my favorites. Oh! And The Sparrow, there was a sequel so it counts as a series. I haven’t read the sequel yet, but The Sparrow was legitimately one of the greatest books I have ever read and I am super excited to check out the sequel when I have a few days off of work that isn’t dedicated to mowing the lawn (it's been raining sooo much here)

5. What is your favorite TV series? I love so many tv series. Aquabats! Super Show! will always be in my top 10. I am garbage for TURN: Washington’s Spies even though I think it’s kind of terrible, oooh and Dirk Genty’s Holistic Detective Agency, can’t believe I forgot about that one, I was literally just talking about the books. And no matter how angry I get at Doctor Who, I will always return to watch the new season (this last season was really good, thank god) but I think Classic Doctor Who is a thousand times better than the reboot

6. Which fantasy universe would you most like to live in? I don’t know, because in any universe I won’t be the hero (I’m not even the hero/protagonist in THIS universe, so why would it be any different in a fictional one?) so I would need one that I could live happily and not be incinerated by dragons or forced to fight some nobleman’s war. Yeah, I’ve managed to talk myself out of every fantasy universe I could think of. How about Harry Potter? Yeah, sure Hogwarts has a scarily high student fatality rate for a high school and there’s a massive war every couple of decades that wipes out half the generation, but magic would be fun. I think I would take a short life with magic over a long life without it (assuming that I don’t end up a muggle or a squib, of course)

7. Favorite character ever? Finn from Star Wars, Sansa Stark from ASOIAF (note: ASOIAF and NOT GoT), Prince Charles Edward Stewart from Outlander…. That’s a really weird one, but Outlander was one of the most horrible (and uncomfortable) shows I have sat through but I really loved Bonnie Prince Charlie?? He was just an idealistic ray of sunshine in this bland, bleak wasteland of a tv show. He wouldn’t make the list if my hatred for the show was any lessened, but because I hate the show so much, my love for him is exemplified immensely. Anyway, Theodore “TBag” Bagwell from Prison Break, the entire cast of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Pietro Maximoff (and 99% of all XMen), Sauron, etc. So many.

8. Character you would like to personally slap in the face: Abe Woodhull from TURN: Washington’s Spies. He’s terrible, through and through.

9. Character you would like to personally murder: CHLOE FROM LIFE IS STRANGE. I WOULD HAVE MURDERED HER SO HARD IF MY GAME DIDN’T GLITCH ON THE LAST LEVEL. *she’s a terrible human whose manipulative and abusive. WLW deserve better options in both general representation and romanceable wlw characters in video games

10. Character you would gladly intern under: Any of the Xmen (can I be a plucky assistant who has a really lame super power but still tries to help, please???) OOOOOH and Larten Crepsley from Cirque du Freak (I LOVE HIM, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW also he is in my top 5 favorite characters of all time, so I can’t believe I left him out in the fave character section)

11. Character you would totally have tea with: I don’t drink tea, but I’d probably go on a late-night coffee run with the entire Star Wars cast or Aquaman. Aquaman probably hates coffee though, so The Riddler? Edward Nygma seems like an “up all night anxiously drinking coffee while finishing up some project (probably a criminal scheme)” kinda guy.

12. Character that you feel really needs a hug: The entire freaking cast of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (note: the tv show, not the books)

13. Character you love that you would probably hate irl: Most of them, to be honest. I am drawn to horrible people in fiction. Simcoe, TURN: Washington’s Spies (note: tv show version, not real-life verson); T-Bag, Prison Break; Cesare Borgia, The Borgias;

14. Character you would realistically be friends with irl: Ken, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

5. First character you had a crush on (if any): Jack Sparrow………

16. Favorite ships: ooooOOOh boy where to begin…. DISCLAIMER: when I say I ship things, I just mean I find the dynamic between the 2+ characters interesting and compelling. I don’t necessarily feel that they should be a canonical end-game romance (or even a romance at all), nor do I stan the relationship as healthy for either of the characters, nor do I feel that these relationships (platonic, romantic, or otherwise) should be heralded as a beacon of #goals to aspire to. I literally mean “hey those two have a cool dynamic, I wanna see more of that” -Master/Missy (I’ve been calling it “MASTERbator but I don’t know what the official ship name) (Doctor Who) -Anna Strong/Hewlett (TURN) -Foggy Nelsen /Matt Murdock (Daredevil) -Abe Woodhull/ Robert Townsend (TURN; note: Rob is too good for Abe but Rob’s reactions to Abe are too perfect to not ship) -Sansan (ASOIAF; I ship this 100% platonically) -Jaime and Brienne (ASOIAF; this is 100% not a platonic ship) -Finn/Poe -Han/Lando (we have NEVER heard the details of that card game, is all I’m sayin’) -Edward Nygma/ Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham/ DC; this is legit the ONLY reason I continue to watch Gotham. Everything else is garbage, but these two’s relationship, man. It’s so compelling, they’re so in love and so unwilling to put their differences and murderous tendencies aside to make their relationship work. I have so many feelings about this ship, okay)

-Joker/Batman (LEGO Batman; it was so beautiful, guys)

I have so many more, I don’t even know

17. Series (TV/book) that you feel ended terribly: Harry Potter’s ending is literally a meme now, so I won’t do overboard explaining that one. BUT, The Hunger Games. Okay, so this fucking series has a female character who is constantly talking and thinking about how she doesn’t want any children, and how she doesn’t feel like she should be a mother, which is pretty progressive right??? Also, 2 and a half fucking books are building up to an end all war/ revolution and It’s gonna be the biggest damn thing ever, right??? WELL how does this book series end??? Katniss, the FUCKING NARRATOR, gets hit in her head and blacks out, so she (AS WELL AS THE READER) misses the majority of the final battle, and THEN this series reveals that Gail (the less useless of the two potential love interests) may have caused the death of Katniss’ sister, so he leaves and Katniss chooses Peeta for no other reason than “well, I’m 17 so I should settle down with SOMEONE and you’re within proximity, so I guess you’ll do” and they get banished to District 12 where Katniss mothers a bunch of children because what else are you gonna do but fuck, and basically the entire ending is one piece of bullshit after the other (ALSO THE MOVIES FRAME THE ENDING AS “KATNISS IS NOW A MOTHER THEREFOR SHE’S REACHED HER POTENTIAL AS A WOMAN, ISN’T THIS A HAPPY ENDING” and fuck this entire series)

18. Series (TV/book) that had so much potential but was actually an epic disaster: Literally everything I watch. Dr Who, TURN: Washington’s Spies, Gotham, Sherlock, Game of Thrones; But hey, that’s what fanfiction is for

19. Worst book/movie/TV show you’ve ever read/seen: Ooooh I’ve read and watched some TERRIBLE things in my day. Outlander. Outlander was pitched to me as having 18th Century Scotland and TIME TRAVEL. Some of my favorite things, aaaand it ended up being one of the worst things I have ever seen. 90% of it is just boring, but the other 10% involves, in my opinion, really poorly handled sexual assault. I won’t go into details here, but it was bad.

Also, Borgias was fascinating, but bad. And TURN: Washington’s Spies. Honestly, I watch a lot of period pieces because I think the clothes are pretty or I am interested in the time period and/or historical events in which its set around, but then 99% of them are all really poorly-written soap opera-y dramas with nice sets and costumes. 20. Favorite book from your childhood: Harry Potter

21. 3 Favorite Tropes: Complex Family Dynamics (I think that’s more of a category of tropes than a trope itself, but I love me some fam drama), Happy endings for gays (that’s not really a trope, but it fills me with love and happiness every time it happens –which is rare), oooh I don’t know. I can’t think of any right now, but I do love a lot of tropes, I promise.

22. 3 Most Hated Tropes: Bury your Gays (killing off gay characters for no reason), Rape as empowerment (ie: when the narration treats a sexual assault as a motivator for women that “makes them stronger”); Man Pain (when a woman is assaulted/ threatened by the antagonist, and the main male-protag uses it as “motivation” to fight the antagonist. The story doesn’t allow the female character who experienced the trauma to be the focus of the story/arc, her traumatizing experience is not about her, it is ONLY there to develop the male character she is close to; the story essentially treats the male as the real victim)

23. Scariest thing you’ve ever watched/read: James and the Giant Peach

24. Anything you’d like to recommend? Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (please send me a message if you want to know what it’s about, it’s SO GOOD. It’s fun, quirky, unlike anything else, and it has a diverse cast including characters who are poc (and woc), characters who have disabilities, women who are badass, none of the women are ever sexualized at all, it has corgis, and mysteries, and scifi, and it’s just a big adventure. (I also recommend the books, and the 2011 tv series Dirk Gently)

25. Would you like any recommendations? I’m game for anything. I love period pieces, fantasy, science fiction, TIME TRAVEL, quirky detectives, gory things, child-friendly things, honestly as long as it has interesting characters I am game. I don’t even need a good story, just characters.

Heeey I am terrible at tagging people. If you want to do the thing, please do! And tag me so I can read it :) Also, if you actually read this whole thing, then you deserve all the gold stars, thank you!

#about me #if you want to do this then i tag you you are tagged #thank you for tagging me #yourgoodfriendraichel #:D #also if any of you actually read this #i get pretty heated about fandom things further down #my hatred for hunger games adn chloe from life is strange to name a few

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these---days · 7 years

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Procrastination

1. Favourite colour --> Green.. but sometimes purple, or Teal... idk

2. Number of people you’ve slept with --> 2 3. Cake or ice cream? I don’t care for dessert but Cake over Ice Cream 4. If you were a superhero what would your power be? Seeing the future so I can 1) win the lottery to give money to all of the people and 2) see future regrets and change them as necessary 5. Ever been in a fist fight? Yup... or well, it was one sided as the person was being a drunk douche. I’m pretty patient and not easily angered but was the last straw when they were crap to an ex... so i ran across the room and their face met my fist as we went through a window ;). 6. Do you live in the country or the city? City 7. Biggest kink? I really can not think of anything... it’s been a while since I even gave a shit... refer to my #2 response lol 8. Favourite video-game? Assassin’s Creed 2....Classic maybe Crash Bandicoot or Zelda: A Link to The Past (honourable mentions - Heavy Rain bcuz it was the first game of it’s kind, NHL 200 something cuz I played it for a straight week and Parappa the Rapper for the memories I had while playing it) 9. Words you live by? I’m not religious but, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” 10. Best book you’ve ever read? Okay well this changes constantly there’s been a lot. Great Gatsby and Lord of the Flies were my first... Stone Butch Blues made me tear up after 20 pages... The Alchemist... The Hours... Tom Robbins though hands down has the best books. If you can’t tell I have a hard time with decisions or ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER (no pun intended) 11. Favourite film? .... REALLY... same as above, too many. The Hours, Girl, Interrupted, Eternal Sunshine, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Requiem for a Dream.... and honorable mention is Rocky Horror because I wouldn’t call it my fav but I do love it 12. Horror or romance? neither 13. Biggest fear? I’m usually more afraid of the anticipation of a thing than the actual THING... Otherwise no real “fears” in particular, I just spoke easily and get nervous a lot 14. Best memory? I have no idea. Maybe my 19th birthday weekend. First time people actually worked hard at surprising me, I felt really cared about and important to people outside of my family AND the girl I liked (but swore I wouldn’t tell bcuz I couldn’t lose anymore friends based on being a lesbian) kissed me. So that was a high. 15. Worst memory? There have been a lot... but to be honest everything becomes pretty neutral or numb (for best or worst memories) 16. Where are you from? Toronto, Canada 17. Ever done anal? no thankssss 18. Would you prefer to be Mary Berry’s grandchild or Paul Hollywood’s bitch? I would like to “Berry” “Hollywood” 19. Favourite outfit? Ugh I do not have one right now... maybe my underwear and a baseball shirt since that is usually my go to bed/not going out outfit ;) 20. Snapchat or Instagram? i dont care 21. If you could freeze time what would you do? nothing. I’m fucking frozen. 22. Best LUSH product in your opinion? Who knows, a bath bomb? I don’t go here 23. Should people wear red shirts or brown pants in your presence? nothing is the correct answer .. my life is so sad that I am still answering these 24. Favourite television character? Willow Rosenberg 25. Do you have a nemesis? Time, money, the patriarchy, capitalism, heterosexism... must I go on? 26. Are you a hard-worker? When other people are depending on me for sure. If it’s only for myself... not so much I think. But for a job, ya I’ll work harder than probably necessary to my disadvantage typically. 27. What’s the best holiday you’ve ever been on? Backpacking Australia 2012 with my sis 28. What’s your dream? I have none 29. Where do you see your life ending up? well... it wasn’t here that’s for sure 30. Describe your last sexual encounter. LOL I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT ITS BEEN THAT LONG 31. Cake by the ocean or sex on the beach? Cake by the Ocean... of course? 32. Ever done drugs? Obviously... Tylenol is a fucking drug you know ;) 33. Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings? LOTR 34. Are you a jock or a nerd? lol... NERD... my best job in sports usually consisted of getting hit for the sake of the team 35. On a scale of 8 to 34.7, how gay are you? I am a strong 5.8 on the Kinsey Scale 36. Do you live for Tumblr discourse or hate it? meh 37. Favourite trashy television show? ugh sadly I will watch are you the one? or Survivor, Big Brother, MTV’s the Challenge 38. Last time you watched porn? lol i dont even know... also not even really my thing tbh 39. Do you have a recurring sexual fantasy? nope 40. Weirdest dream you ever had? i dont even know 41. Ever had mental health issues? yup 42. What’s the answer to the question you wish someone would ask you? no way, really? you’re joking! (lol) 43. Do you wish people paid more attention to you? omg no 44. Do you have anyone who you’d happily slap right across their chops? we live in a world with Trump in it... also about 2649473647823648232 political and capitalist assholes 45. Dog person or cat person? I can be both but DOGSSSSSS ... i became allergic to cats but I still end up all over them and suffer the consequences :’(

46. Sneakers or heels? LOL sneakers. No one needs to witness me in heels 47. Favourite cocktail? GT 48. Day or night? I’m a night person but I WISH I was a day person 49. Pokémon or Digimon? -mon 50. How big is your dick? YUGE 51. Favourite musical? Ugh I think I had a new one but oh well, Phantom of the Opera was my old one... Mamma Mia only because it’s all ABBA 52. Favourite song? Exit to a Movie by Radiohead but the version Westworld played during season 1. I love SO many though. (I will always love Cat Power and Regina Spektor though) 53. Are you secretly a goblin/alien/android? I am a Gob-lien-droid 54. Why are you like this? I’m sure it’s a mix genes, timing, contextual influence of the social determinants of health, my individual intersections and situational freedoms... along with my “choose my own adventure” decisions or non-decisions in life ;). THAT A COMPLETE ENOUGH FUCKING ANSWER FOR YA 55. What’s your guilty pleasure? sleep. Also sadly the movie Imagine you and me... omg #whatasap 56. What would you say if I said ‘I love you’? weird 57. What’s the story behind your URL? It’s from the movie Amelie 58. Tell me something that worries you. everything pretty much all the time... I would really love some regular massages. Or to remember the time when for a while I had no worries, had no tension and slept like a fucking BABY 59. What have you been worrying about today? Falling (literally), the work I have to get done, Money, School, Life after school, future work, decisions about where to live and what work options I’ll have, getting a dog, If I’ll have to date again to help make those decisions lol... Also accidentally became a klepto and found something in my luggage from a trip that I feel bad for taking... I don’t even know how or why it happened lol 60. I’m only sending you these questions because I have a crush on you and I’m too tragic to actually just say it. TOO BAD FOR YOUUUUU SUCKAAA 61. Hot dogs or burgers? depends 62. Nintendo or the other trash-consoles? Going outside 63. Which fandom ruined a show that you used to like? none. I dont know... fandoms do not define me! 64. What do you wish you could tell your best friend? I’ve got nothing 65. Tell us a deep dark secret. I have a secret... it’s is deep.... but it is also dark.... 66. Are you curious about having a man in leather spank your botty 'til it’s all red? I think I’m good but have fun with that 67. Favourite Tumblr couple? How do you even know tumblr couples?! 68. Do you have any dietary quirks? Nope.. maybe I’m getting lactose sensitive sometimes? Mostly I think it’s stress though 69. Do you want to have someone pleasure your genitals orally while you do the same to theirs? Not right no thanks I’m busyyyyy 70. How old are you? 31 last friday... 71. Which Buzzfeed listicle sums up your existence? WHAT IS A LISTICLE..also I ain’t got time for thattt 72. Do you have any pets? not anymore :’(... I got allergic to them #STORYOFMYLIFE 73. What colour underwear are you wearing? The are green and pink. Dark green with like jungle like leaves and flamingos <3. (American Eagle short briefs idk what they are called..) 74. Boxers or briefs? read #73 75. Fuck me, Ray Bradbury? You seem unsure of yourself there... or were you just giving an angry rant at yourself and then asking if Ray Bradbury was around... hmmm 76. Which television show do you want to last forever? Buffy but it isn’t on TV anymore and instead in Comic form 77. In a zombie apocalypse how long would you last? Instantly dead for sure... I’d just drop a huge rock on my head and be done with it lol 78. Do you have good internet connection or do you want to punch your router every ten minutes? ALSO WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING WITH MY INTERNET CONNECTION 79. Would you find it somewhat saucy if I sent bawdy nudes in your direction? Not particularly... unless you were serious about them and then I’d use like paint and make them hilarious haha omg ya that’d be great 80. Which country has the best flag? I was horrible about georgraphy lol.... I would throw knowing flags into that category 81. Do you consider yourself *iconic*? I consider myself *ironic* ... ew wait not in a hipster way... just wanted to throw out Alanis since that’s what came to mind here 82. Most overrated food? Bacon 83. Most overrated film? So many 84. Most overrated television show? Friends 85. Most overrated type of cheese? Babybel 86. Which brand would you never shop at? There’s a few ethical ones but also gotta check privilege with whether you can afford to skip some stores/brands 87. Wisdom, courage, or power? Wisdom 88. Would you prefer to travel in time and stay in the same spot, or travel in space with time elapsing as normal? Space would give me anxiety... but staying in the same spot would give me anxiety. CONUNDRUM 89. What’s the best birthday present you ever got? A girlfriend...For more on that check the “best memory” response I guess... although brithday present makes it sound like a person was an object/commodity that could be claimed and that’s not what I mean... trying to be funny just got serious RIGHT QUICK 90. What present do you wish someone would give you? I have no real wants.. just time with people. Or one day for all my friends to be together and nobody disliked anyone and could have a good time and get along for me... actually that would be the best present in the world but will never happen so alas, there is no reason for birthday parties anymore 91. Do you have an ex? Why did you break up? Yes. We had expired on our 9 lives. 91. Why does 91 appear on this list twice now? Because you typed it twice 92. Spare a thought for the humble creator of this list, it’s difficult to think of this many questions. Make the list shorter 93. Do you prefer anons or non-anons? onions 94. Who do you wish you could have sex with more than any other? more than any other...... ??? 95. What is your spirit animal? A KOALA, the sleep for like 22-23 hours of the day 96. Do you have one word that you really love the sound of? Tangent. Conundrum... idk 97. Do you still have any of your stuffed toys from when you were a kid?yup 98. What makes you super nostalgic? Random things, nothing particular 99. Give me an answer to a random one of these questions. (But don’t make it a shit answer like 'yes’. Don’t be an asshole.) asshole 100. What’s your favourite cocktail? SUP REPEAT 101. Sonic screwdriver or Ron’s shit broken wand from the second Potter book? OOGA BOOGA MAN FROM CRASH BANDICOOT lol 102. Laptop or PC? laptop 103. What’s the sexiest accent in your opinion? meh 104. Would you let Donald Trump tickle your nipples for an hour for £6,000,000? FUCK DONALD TRUMP ... i can’t even be funny with this one I just start fuming at his mention 105. You should check out a great little British website called Pretty52. This should’ve been for question 52..... so nope. 106. If you could dye your hair any colour, what colour would you change to? I’m good. 107. What would you change about your body if you could? I’d work out and eat healthy... idk.... bodies are bodies and they are the way the are for whatever reason to each their own. I’m for people changing their bodies and for not doing so at all. For me I only change stuff if I physically get pained otherwise it’s all aesthetics which is trivial. 108. Do you prefer to be hot or cold? hot 109. What’s your favourite way to orgasm? having one I guess lol? 110. Are you a mermaid or a unicorn? unicorn (I can’t swim so) 111. What’s the name of your favourite pet when you were a kid?I had none. So deprived. 112. What was your favourite class at school? History maybe? 113. Are you superstitious? kind of but not seriously 114. What do you think happens when we die? When I get there I’ll let you know 115. Pie or pi? PI!!! BTW, getting a McFlurry on Pi day is hilarious because the total for one in Canada with taxes is 3.14!!!! #nerdalert 116. Your followers a question. Are you questioning my followers??? 117. Lick my genitalia. I’m good thanks 118. What’s your favourite number? 8 119. Do you ever look up at the stars and feel small? nope 120. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?it’s.. fine 121. Tell me about a quirky personality trait. I have no idea 122. What was your favourite story when you were younger? My mom used to tell Caterpillar bedtime stories... the stories would start with the caterpillar having a certain amount of legs and this caterpillar would be playing some kind of game/sport against my family of 4 and in each sport my mom would make up how the caterpillar lost it’s legs. The story was over when they lost all their legs and we won lol. 123. Are you old before your time or young at heart? Ugh I WAS old before my time as a child... after 25 I’ve been trying to peter pan through life because now we’re stuck being old and I want a chance at childhood again haha 124. Why do you do the things you do? Please. Tell me. It’s a mix of contextual factors as I’ve answered for another question lol 125. I hope you enjoyed these questions. they actually were not that great... I am underwhelmed 126. Which Tumblr blog would you recommend to all your fans? one that upgrades them to a good old airconditioner

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shawnjacksonsbs · 6 years

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WWFRD? He’d say “143″. 7-8-18

"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has--or ever will have--something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression." - Mr. Fred Rogers It is actually Saturday evening. I have only been home for a few minutes now, after having gone to the movies, alone. It was pleasant. I don't get alone time very often, which is usually a good thing, because it helps me not slip into a depressive state of mind as home, and my family, are constantly on my mind. This time it felt good. Good to spend the drive there completely invested in thoughts of my girl, my kids, grandchildren, my family, and our future. "Won't you be my neighbor?" is a documentary based on the life of, you guessed it, Mr. Fred Rogers. Now, most people have heard of him, and/or watched his PBS show Mister Rogers Neighborhood, to exclude my cousin (who says he never watched it or even knew he was). This movie moved me, more than I thought it would. It touched my heart and raised an awareness of myself that was much needed. "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Mr. Fred Rogers He touched the lives of millions of children, and in positive ways, with a singular message; Love - Love your neighbor. As a child, I remember watching the show. I remember him in this positive light, but for those reminiscent of childhood perspectives in memory. He was a good man, who treated everyone fairly and with compassion. His passion was for trying to teach children, ALL CHILDREN, that they weren't odd, or unloved and that they were all special. That their uniqueness was why they were loved. I always thought of him like this. "You know, I think everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know that he or she is lovable. And, consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they're loved and capable of loving." - Mr. Fred Rogers I started to read some articles before I decided to go watch the movie. Some were very inspiring. I was going to copy 2 or 3 quotes of his to try and tie into this entry. I ended up with about 30 copied and pasted in my notepad. I obviously can not use them all, but his words, especially now, because I feel like he absolutely meant all of it, hit me right in the heart. "What matters isn't how a person's inner life finally puts together the alphabet and numbers of his outer life. What really matters is whether he uses the alphabet for the declaration of a war or the description of a sunrise--his numbers for the final count at Buchenwald or the specifics of a brand-new bridge." - Mr. Fred Rogers As I watched the movie, I started to realize just how much more room for growth there is inside me. For someone who talks and preaches a lot about compassion and tolerance, I still fall short. I have come a long way, and it is difficult for me to see first-hand areas where I lack. I have this habit of not being tolerant or accepting of others opinions, or beliefs, or grouping together who I feel are intolerant of others. Like, I should judge you on how you judge others. This, in itself, is not where I want to be. No matter how absolutely wrong, or immoral, someone or their ideals might seem to me, thinking that they are "lesser than", especially if I don't keep it to myself, puts me in a similar category. Someone else's lack of compassion, or even knowledge, does not necessarily perpetuate a doing of evil. It can lead to that but it is definitely not inclusive. I will still never stand for injustices in the face of such situations, but I plan to start doing better by those who don't always agree with me unless what they are doing directly affects another in a negative fashion. I imagine, I will fall short a lot at first, as this is going to be a newly learn(ed) behavior for me, one that trumps the progress I have already made in my life, mainly because of how positive I was that I had reached a plateau of living right and doing good. Now do not mistake my words to mean that I feel bad, or that I am not a good person, because I do not believe that. I am just ready for the next level I think. Some of it will be harder than others. One of which is in an area I already thought I was comfortable with, but not for the reason for which I should be. Being comfortable enough to tell others, especially if they are guys, excluding immediate family, that I love them (even in public), if I do, in fact, love them. This used to be a huge problem for me, as guys are programmed not to share feelings, and for fear of feeling like I would look soft to others around. I got over it by standing on the fact that if anyone called me out on it or made feel like that, that I could prove I wasn't soft, with some macho nonsensical bullshit. That is just not good enough. The level I want to reach is where it feels completely irrelevant what the fuck anyone might think. Most of which is in my mind and not anyone else's to begin with. In the movie, it was talked about by a friend of his that he worked with on the show, that came out later as a gay (black) man, which Rogers was not ok with at first, but that he came within a few inches of his face and told him that he loved him. As the man started to tear up, he said that in that moment he knew that that was why he loved him too. His {Mr. Rogers} wife said that they had a quite a few gay friends. Mr. Rogers may have learned some of his own lessons throughout his life, but in the end, he was the embodiment of love and tolerance. He was even protested at his funeral service, by Christian conservatives, for being tolerant. He showed a different kind of courage, especially for that time. Living the change I want to see in the world is one thing, and actually being the change I want to see, like for real in my heart (where no one else can see or hear), is something entirely different. "It's our insides that make us who we are, that allow us to dream and wonder and feel for others. That's what's essential. That's what will always make the biggest difference in our world." - Mr. Fred Rogers What is the message I want my kids, and grandchildren to learn? I know this may not sound like a huge step, and I also don't want anyone to think I was a fake (for lack of a better word) before now, but instead, I realize I have not met my full potential or range of being. I believe I have found a new level of "right living" to try and adhere to. I believe, after seeing this film, that Fred Rogers, as an ordained Presbyterian minister and a lifelong Republican no less, believe it or not, just made my top 5 list of male role models that I will try and live more like. You know, he won 4 Emmys and was also presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the 1997 Daytime Emmys. I am going to share an article written by Tom Junod and published in Esquire magazine. "Mister Rogers went onstage to accept the award—and there, in front of all the soap opera stars and talk show sinceratrons, in front of all the jutting man-tanned jaws and jutting saltwater bosoms, he made his small bow and said into the microphone, "All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are. Ten seconds of silence." And then he lifted his wrist, looked at the audience, looked at his watch, and said, "I'll watch the time." There was, at first, a small whoop from the crowd, a giddy, strangled hiccup of laughter, as people realized that he wasn't kidding, that Mister Rogers was not some convenient eunuch, but rather a man, an authority figure who actually expected them to do what he asked. And so they did. One second, two seconds, three seconds—and now the jaws clenched, and the bosoms heaved, and the mascara ran, and the tears fell upon the beglittered gathering like rain leaking down a crystal chandelier. And Mister Rogers finally looked up from his watch and said softly, "May God be with you" to all his vanquished children." We need more people like Mr. Rogers in our world. Please take the time to share your love and your laughter with those around whenever possible. I also recommend seeing the movie if you can. May it touch your heart as it did mine. 1 4 3. Until next week; "When I say it's you I like, I'm talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed." - Mister Fred Rogers

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littlesmoosh90 · 6 years

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Things about me...

1.The meaning behind my url: littlesmoosh is what I called my son when he was in my tummy. I've wanted to change it to a Taylor URL so many times but I won't. 2. How many tattoos i have and what they are: 2. One is a black hearer on my hip which used to by a red one with an ex's name in it because I was once 17 and stupid 😂 the other is song lyrics on my neck saying 'she floated away' which is a song by a band called husker du. It's a song me and my dad listen to together and also my mum isn't with us so the lyrics are symbolic of her passing. 3. Last time i cried and why: I cry a lot. The last time was probably due to over thinking. 4. Piercings i have: ears although I don't often wear earrings, belly button and I did have my lip pierced so I'm left with a little hole 🙈 5. Favorite band: inme 6. Biggest turn offs: liars. Closed minded people. 7. Top 5 films: Forrest Gump, father of the bride part 2, titanic, the wedding singer, all the twilight films. 8. Tattoos i want: I don't think I'll ever get any more actually 9. Biggest turn ons: humour, kindness and foot rubs 🙈 10. Age: 27... 28 in March 11. Ideas of a perfect date: something outdoorsy but with good comfort food. 12. Life goal: actual life goal is to be the best mum I can be and raise Dexter to be an amazing man who respects everyone. But if we aren't including that then of course my life goal is to meet @taylorswift maybe I can have both? 13. Piercings i want: no more 14.Relationship status: I've been with my Thomas for three and a half years now and hoping to be together for about another 80. 15. Favorite song: you're not sorry by Taylor Swift. It makes me feel so empowered and said everything I needed to say at a time in my life where I really needed it. 16. A fact about my life: I work in a school supporting children, my area of expertise is the autistic spectrum. I am absolutely fascinated by how different people are who are labelled under the same category. There is something really beautiful about it. I love moulding myself to fit each person and always being able to find some common ground with them. 17. Phobia: ugh, spiders! 18. Middle name: I am the only person in my whole entire family without a middle name and I'm not bitter about it at all... 19. Height: 5ft3 20. Are you a virgin? I have a five year old son so... 21. What’s your shoe size? U.K. Size 4 22. What’s your sexual orientation?: I like to just view myself as 'open' 23. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?: I drink when I go out, probably about once a month. 24. Someone you miss: my best friend moved to Canada and I live in Scotland! We stay in touch all the time but I miss being able to cuddle her! 25. What’s one thing you regret?: not getting my university degree. 26. First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Taylor. She is beautiful. 27. Favorite ice cream?: I tried dragonfruit ice cream recently and it was magnificent 28. One insecurity: my stomach. Some days I'm a fierce mum who is proud of her stripes and other days I'm just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking it to change her. 29. What my last text message says: it was telling Thomas that I'll wait for him before I watch the newest episode of the walking dead. 30. Have you ever taken a picture naked?; I'd be lying if I said I hadn't. 31. Have you ever painted your room?: when I was 13 I painted a heartagram on my bedroom roof with black gloss paint! It's the symbol of a band called HIM! 32. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: yeah 33. Have you ever slept naked?: yeah but I'm not a big fan of it, I'm a cold tattie and also... monsters. 34. Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?: so often, especially this last month because every song Taylor has released mirror dancing worthy! 35. Have you ever had a crush?: only about a thousand 😂 36. Have you ever been dumped?: yeah, a couple of times! 37. Have you ever stole money from a friend?: I've never stolen money. Period. 38. Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?: only taxi drivers.. 39. Have you ever been in a fist fight?: yes. Two boys attacked my very lovely very innocent gay friend and I seen red and attacked them like a squirrel monkey. I'm not even sorry. 40. Have you ever snuck out of your house?: I never had to. 41. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yeah when I was younger. 42. Have you ever been arrested? Never. 43. Have you ever made out with a stranger?: yes, back in my student days! 44. Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?: yes 45: Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?: I do it every day because I live on my own lol 46.Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?: no 47. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?: it's been a long time since I was at school but yeah I did 48. Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?: of course 49.Have you ever seen someone die?: no.. touch wood. 50. Have you ever been on a plane? Yeah a couple of times 51. Have you ever kissed a picture?: hahaha maaaaybe 🙈 52. Have you ever slept in until 3?: yes! One time I slept for 19 solid hours without waking once. 53. Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?: I literally seen my boyfriend this morning and I love and miss him already. 54. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?: my favourite pastime ☺️ 55. Have you ever made a snow angel?: every year without fail. Although I confess I actually hate snow! 56. Have you ever played dress up? Yeah 57. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?: I've put in cheat codes for crash bandicoot to open all the levels before.. does that count? 58. Have you ever been lonely?: I feel lonely almost every day even though I really ament lonely. It's okay not to feel okay. 59. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?: both 😂 60. Have you ever been to a club?: lots of times 61. Have you ever felt an earthquake?: no, touch wood. It's not something that really happens in Scotland. 62. Have you ever touched a snake?: held a few to be brave in front of Dex. 63. Have you ever ran a red light?: I don't drive. I tried to learn but I am too much of a nervous person and it just wasn't for me: 64. Have you ever been suspended from school?: no. 65. Have you ever had detention?: no 66. Have you ever been in a car accident?: touch wood again, no. 67. Have you ever hated the way you look?: on a daily basis. I'm sad to say. 68. Have you ever witnessed a crime?: several. Nothing major though 70. Have you ever pole danced?: no, I'd be horrendous at it!!! 71. Have you ever been lost?: lots of times! 72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: Britain, yes. Europe, no. 73. Have you ever felt like dying?: yeah, labour was so painful I can't even tell you how terrible it felt! 74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: several times 75. Have you ever sang karaoke?: actually no! Although I reckon it's something I'd enjoy, I've just never been in that situation! 76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?: every day I each rubbish and every night I say I'll be better the next day! 77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: yes and it hurts! 78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?: no, biggest age gap was four years older! 79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?: yeah but it's not as romantic as the movies make it out to be! 80. Have you ever sang in the shower?: on a daily basis! 81. Have you ever made out in a park? Yep 82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?: I don't think so actually 83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?: hahaha yes!!! 84: Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?: no, I'm not that silly 🙈 85. Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?: omg no thank god! 86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?: no, it's not really a big thing in Scotland 87. Have you ever sat on a roof top?: sure have 88. Have you ever brush your teeth?: omg imagine if I hadn't?! 89. Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?: I literally can't! I can barely watch them with people never mind alone! 90. Have you ever played chicken?: no! 91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Nope 92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?: yeah, usually drunken old men! 93. Have you ever broken a bone?: no, touch wood! 94. Have you ever been easily amused?: always! 95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?: yeah so many times! The best times! 96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?: yeah, not strangers though! 97. Have you ever cheated on a test?: no! 98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?: literally every day at my job because I recently moved schools and there's soooo many names to remember? 99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?: yes 100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.: I feel like everyone knows everything about me because I'm a pretty open book. But one thing people won't know unless they've caught me doing it is that I like to pull my eyelashes out and eat them. I don't know why. I've just always done it since I was little. I guess it makes me feel comforted in some weird way. I can't explain it. It's not something I'd announce to people though!

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expressioninsideout · 7 years

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Coffee Bliss, 2016

Third place in Expression 2016′s writing category went to Miriam Roberts-Thomson for her piece “Coffee Bliss”

They found Emma’s almost completely by accident.

Isaiah and Lucas had been on their way to the local Starbucks to do some work when the rain started. Working in their flat was like some sort of slow torture; their hyperactive brains distracting them from even attempting when they were in the same room as their consoles. Besides, Starbucks was warm, and the coffee was decent, if overpriced, and the wifi was better than at their dorm, so...

They weren’t even halfway there yet, and being the sensible students they were, they’d forgotten to pack anything that even resembled a raincoat. This wasn’t rain that you could ignore either, like the light splattering of springtime showers. No, this was the type of rain that promised thunderstorms and flooding.

Spotting a nearby awning, Isaiah pulls Lucas under it, which coincidentally turns out to be the entrance to some sort of cafe. The word Emma’s is elegantly inscribed in the glass on the door, above a sign that proclaimed their free wifi. Isaiah and Lucas exchange glances - dude, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Duh, bro, of course I’m thinking what you’re thinking - then, taking it as a sign from above, they stumble inside before they, like. Drown, or something.

The cafe is instantly, blessedly warm. The smell of coffee wafts through the air, warming Isaiah’s soul to its core. Sighing with content, they instinctively scope out the best seats with power sockets nearby and went to claim it as their own. The cafe has a sort of homey, mismatched feel to it, the tables and chairs all different, but somehow matching. Squishy armchairs are dotted around the room, and a crackling fireplace sits opposite the counter.

Isaiah sends Lucas a pleading glance, his eyes beseeching him to say yes.

“No,” Lucas says sternly, before glancing around and sighing. “Okay, okay. Maybe. But let’s see how their coffee is first, before we make any commitments,”

“Our coffee is brilliant,” a scary-intense looking brunette calls from behind the counter. Her name tag reads ‘ANGEL’ in neat block letters, with a golden halo drawn at an angle on top. Isaiah wishes that it was her real name.

She’s simultaneously the most beautiful and the scariest person Isaiah’s ever seen - although the latter could be a cause of the former. Her hair and eyes are mere shades darker than her bronze skin, giving her the appearance of a monochrome statue. If he was interested in girls, Isaiah would probably be too intimidated to talk to her - as he observes in Lucas, who is, in fact, interested enough for the both of them. He watches his friend flush a blotchy red, the colour spreading down his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tries to form coherent syllables.

“What would you recommend? Isaiah asks, taking pity on Lucas’ inability to speak actual human words.

“Well that really depends on what you’re here for,” the girl smiles, and pulls two mugs out from under the counter. The mugs, like the rest of the decor, don’t match, but are disarmingly charming. One of them has all the Avenger’s logos on it, and the other bears a turtle wearing a hat. Isaiah falls a little bit in love, and when he turns to Lucas, he can practically see the shackles tying him to Starbucks splintering. “Do you actually want coffee, or did you prefer tea?”

***

The coffee, it turns out, is brilliant. Better than Starbucks could ever dream of. The wifi is fast, and they don’t have to pay for it, and when he tries one of the many slices in the cabinet, Isaiah legitimately thinks that it could be the best thing he’s ever eaten in his entire life.

It kind of just makes sense that they stay, after that.

***

Isaiah met Lucas when they were both in year nine. From his primary school, there were exactly eleven other students who were going to the same college as him. One of those students was his friend. On their first day of college, however, his friend promptly ditched him to go and bother his older brother - such was the way of the thirteen-year-old.

He spent much of the first few weeks of college alone, sketching in his form class when bored. Then, one such time, when he was sketching a particularly detailed portrait of Captain America, another boy plopped down beside him.

“That’s really good,” the other boy had said matter of factly.

“Thanks, it’s what I’m gonna do when I’m older,” Isaiah blurted with all the confidence of his age.

“That’s awesome! I think I might be a lawyer maybe, or a police officer, but I don’t really know for sure. My name’s Lucas, what’s yours?” Lucas responded with an easy grin.

“Isaiah,” he’d said, and the rest, as they say, was history.

Isaiah had never really had such a close friend before - but that was okay. He thought that perhaps he was just waiting for Lucas to turn up.

***

It turns out that the barrister's name is actually Cara. She’s only a year older than Isaiah and Lucas, and goes to the local uni, and Isaiah thinks that she might be the coolest person he’s ever met.

There’s no one else working in the cafe that they can see, and it is pretty dead - between the wind threatening to blow small children away, and the rain tipping down outside, they reckon that anyone with half a brain would be inside keeping warm.

Isaiah and Lucas pretend not to watch her as she moves around making a drink for herself. Watching people without really watching them is a talent of Isaiah’s - as an artist, he’s picked up some pretty weird skills - so it isn’t a surprise to see her walking over to their table.

“Do you guys mind if I sit with you for a while? This shift is always pretty dead, and on a day like today...” she collapses into a chair at their table.

“Go ahead,” Isaiah smiles.

Lucas, once again, seems to have gone mute, which actually is probably a good thing. If he could talk, he’d probably say something stupid and scare her off so. Cara seems like an easy person to talk to though, so Isaiah’s reasonably certain that he can handle this conversation.

And - yeah, he was right. Cara’s awesome, and they quickly bond over their shared love for art. He finds out that Cara’s only studying to be a Veterinarian because her parents wouldn’t let her get a massive student loan for something she didn’t really need a degree for, which - fair point, actually.

“Still - these are really good. You’re talented,” Cara said, flipping through Isaiah’s sketchbook.

“Thanks,” Isaiah smiles. “Oh! That one’s my favourite,” he stops the page from turning.

The image is of Isaiah and Lucas, copied from a photograph. In it, they’re both laughing, heads tilted up, smiles evident on both their faces. Isaiah had drawn it just before he’d come out to Lucas, so he’d always have something to remember their friendship by in case things went sour.

“Of course it is,” Lucas mutters from his seat.

He keeps on shooting Isaiah incredulous looks like - dude how did we trick this freaking supermodel of a girl into thinking we’re cool? Isaiah has no idea, but he’s not complaining.

By the time they leave, Cara has well and truly worked her way into their lives. Lucas had managed to actually contribute a sufficient amount to the conversation, without accidentally offending anyone. Cara makes them promise to come back before she lets them leave, and - it’s nice, having someone that isn’t them wanting them to come back. Isaiah thinks that they might just have found somewhere that they could return to after anything.

Well. A place that isn’t each other.

***

So the thing about Emma’s is that everyone who works there seems to be unfairly attractive. They’ve come up with a theory that they only hire perfect tens.

There’s Cara, obviously, but there’s also Nick, the other barrister that works there full time. With his long blond curls and sharp blue eyes, he’s probably one of the most stunning men Isaiah’s ever seen.

“Bro, his cheekbones could probably cut glass. That’s so unfair,” Lucas murmurs to him one day. Isaiah gives him a strange look, to which Lucas rolls his eyes and promptly responds, “Just cause I’m not gay, doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate a good-looking man when I see one. It’s not like you don’t appreciate Cara’s looks on a regular basis.”

Which - yeah. That’s actually a really good point.

There’s Emily, who comes hand in hand with Nick. She’s only two years younger than him, and they share the same blonde curls and blue eyes.

“Excellent genes in that family,” Isaiah mutters to Lucas when Emily is first introduced as Nick’s sister.

Emily only works when one of the others can’t make it, but she’s there more often than not anyway.

Then there’s Jackson. He owns the cafe, and is also their main pastry chef. He looks like he’d be more in place on a rugby field than in a kitchen, with arms the size of Isaiah’s entire head. He’s got tattoos running the length of his arms, and he looks like he could rip their heads off without a second thought. He’d completely terrified Isaiah and Lucas when they’d first met him, but he’d just nodded and offered them a free custard square.

Isaiah isn’t usually big on custard squares, but this was like some type of religious experience. Lucas had groaned slightly, and Isaiah muttered something about never eating anything else again, and Jackson had graced them with the tiniest of smiles before retreating back into the kitchen.

Cara looked relieved. Isaiah wondered what would have happened if they didn’t like the custard squares.

The other regulars to the cafe are also ridiculously attractive, which is profoundly unfair. There’s a string of pretty girls - and quite a few pretty boys - that come in to swoon over Nick; there’s a red-headed girl who comes in, sits in a corner and has quiet conversations with Cara over tea; there’s Sasha, an engineering student, who comes and sits behind piles of books and dirty mugs, and Charlie, who alternates between reading and staring wistfully at Sasha.

“We’re the worst looking people in this cafe.” Isaiah laments after a week of being there and staring at pretty people eating pastries.

Then he looks at Lucas, and not for the first time realises how nice he is to actually look at, all sharp angles and freckles and brown hair. He’s attractive in a careless way, the kind of person that just gets more and more attractive the longer you look at them. Isaiah sighs, and adapts his previous statement - I’m the worst looking person in this cafe.

“That’s okay. I’m okay with being unattractive if it means we can be surrounded by attractive people all the time,” Lucas shrugs.

It’s one of those weird statements that probably shouldn’t be comforting but is - even if it only makes sense to them.

***

Isaiah has plans, okay?

When they finished college, Lucas went off to police college, got a job at the local station, and Isaiah...

Well.

He went to uni, got a BA with a major in Art History, then booked a spot at a tiny studio by their apartment. He was good, and he knew that he had what it took to be really good, but he just needed to be noticed. There was only so much he could do through a blog.

In most ways, this was the hardest part.

“If I could just get a place at an exhibition or something...” Isaiah trails off.

Lucas had heard the rant about a thousand times already, but he was still patient.

“You’ll get there,” Lucas patted his shoulder.

“A foot in the door, that’s all I need,” Isaiah says earnestly, pencil clutched in his hand. “Maybe I should start a new series,”

“Good idea,” Lucas says absently, staring off at Cara and Nick working.

Isaiah follows his gaze to Cara. She’s leaning over a mug, trying to do some new form of latte art - a flower, or leaf, or something. Her tongue is sticking out, and her brow is furrowed in concentration, and it’s kind of adorable. Isaiah’s apparently not the only one who thinks so either - Nick is frozen where he is, paused in the middle of wiping a spill. He’s staring at Cara with something akin to longing in his eyes, watching for only a few careful seconds before moving on. Cara turns to say something to him - but then she pauses, watches him for a few moments, the same intense expression on her face.

Huh. Interesting.

Isaiah feels his fingers twitch, and he scrambles for a pencil.

“Dude, chill,” Lucas says, looking at him bizarrely. “It’s not going anywhere,”

“How did I not see this earlier? Actually, why did I not think this earlier?” Isaiah mutters, sketching furiously.

“What? What’s happening?” Lucas actually sounds slightly concerned.

“Look,” Isaiah nods towards the counter.

Lucas looks, and.... Yup. There it was. He’d seen it.

“Bro,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Isaiah whispers back.

“Oh my god,” Lucas grabs his arm.

“And Sasha and Charlie too, look,” Isaiah grins, and starts sketching again. “I should just do a series on Emma’s.”

“You should,” Lucas nods.

“Yeah,” Isaiah says. “I really should.”

***

It all just comes easy after that.

He goes to Emma’s, spends a couple hours drinking coffee and sketching, then heads over to the studio to transfer to canvas, or to start painting. The finished series will consist of twelve paintings, all of them workers or regulars at Emma’s. Some of them will be small, and others large, and they’ll all be painted in the same warm, golden tones.

Sketching the people at Emma’s comes easy - they’re all incredibly easy to look at, and incredibly interesting to draw. There’s such a large variety as well - Cara, with her dark skin and curly hair, Nick and Emily, with their matching blonde locks and strong expressions, Jackson, with his muscly arms and pastries. Sasha has her books and mugs, and Charlie has his Kindle. The nameless girl Cara talks to, her eye makeup so dark it could be war-paint.

Isaiah loves it.

He figures that he should probably tell them at some point, but he doesn’t want them to get mad at him. He just wants to have this thing for a while, this thing that’s completely and irrevocably his.

Lucas comes and watches him paint sometimes, when he’s not working. It’s nice, the two of them there. Since they stumbled into Emma’s for the first time, it feels like they haven’t really had much time where it’s just them. Not like they used to. This, however. This is nice.

It takes him two and a half months to finish all the sketches and have them transferred to canvas. Ten of the paintings are finished, and the last two well under way. Isaiah’s planning on scanning them into some of the owners of the local galleries once they’re finished, and he knows in his heart of hearts that they’re good enough to be shown.

He just has to finish first.

***

There’s a new guy at the counter.

Isaiah repeats: there’s a new guy at the counter.

Cara’s not there - it’s her usual shift, but she’s conspicuously absent. Isaiah knows it’s her shift because every Tuesday for the last month he would come in for a coffee, then sit at the closest table and work on his art. Cara would come and top off his coffee when it ran out, and when she went on her break, she would come and sit with him and they would talk about various artworks. It was fun.

Today though - today, she’s not here. The guy standing behind the counter is most definitely not Cara. He’s got a type of dark, brooding thing going on, his eyes as dark as a freaking midnight sky. A beanie is shoved on his head, pulled down over his ears, and Isaiah can see the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his collar.

It’s really working for him.

“Can I help?” the guy says, raising an eyebrow at Isaiah.

“Uh. Yeah,” Isaiah stutters, stumbling to a stop before he can say something stupid like ‘a ring’. “Cara?”

Which - yeah. That’s not too much better, really.

“She’s off sick,” the guy says, looking surprised - and it’s ridiculous how attractive Isaiah finds it.

“Oh. Is this your first shift?” Isaiah asks, and reading the guy's face, he can tell that it is. “I just haven’t seen you around before... and I come here a lot, so,”

“It is. But don’t worry, I’ve worked at a coffee house before, so your coffee won’t suck,” the guy says, seeming to take Isaiah’s comment as a challenge. It wasn’t meant as one, but damn if this guy isn’t taking it literally. He’s actually rolling up his sleeves, something that is really doing something to Isaiah, and God, okay, he needs to stop, now.

“Okay. Alright,” Isaiah thinks for a moment, then leans forward onto the counter. “So, don’t get me wrong, Cara and Nick are great and all, but they both suck at making chai tea lattes. Think you can do better?”

“I know I can do better,” the guy smirks - it’s a good look - and pulls a mug out from under the counter. “This latte’s going to blow your mind.”

(It’s not the latte that blow’s Isaiah’s mind.)

***

The latte, it turns out, is pretty damn good. Isaiah might be a little bit in love.

Jackson eventually gets around to giving the new guy a name tag, so he finds out his name - or at least, part of it - is Thatcher. Emily finds out that Thatcher transferred from another university, and that he’s halfway through getting Masters in writing. She tells Isaiah that he wants to be a journalist, and that she hadn’t really been able to get much else out of him apart from that.

Isaiah’s a bit disappointed, honestly. Emily gives no indication on whether or not Thatcher’s gay, or bi, or anything else other than straight, and Isaiah doesn’t ask. He’s pretty sure that at this point everyone working at Emma’s knows about his sexuality, but he hasn’t explicitly told anyone, and he doesn’t want to assume. He just figures that if they want to know, they’ll ask, and then he’ll tell them. Besides, what business is it of theirs what gender Isaiah likes?

The only people he’s ever explicitly come out to are his parents and Lucas. His parents hadn’t cared much, thank God, something that was so relieving to him at the time that he started crying. His parents just exchanged one look, then scooped him up in a massive hug. Lucas had just shrugged, and said that from the way Isaiah had been waxing poetic about Chris Evans’ shoulders after The Avengers came out, it was fairly obvious.

“Yeah,” Isaiah had sighed. “Chris Evans has great shoulders...”

“Yes, Isaiah. I know. We’ve been through this,” Lucas had looked at him seriously. “You know I don’t care about any of this, right? You’re my best friend,”

Isaiah had teared up a little bit, and they’d spent the rest of the night hugging and crying and repeatedly saying “I love you, man!” and “No, I love you, man!”

It was a bonding experience for the both of them.

The point was, though, that Isaiah, having never really told anyone about his sexuality, wasn’t really sure how to ask about someone else's. He wasn’t even sure if he should ask. What if Thatcher wasn’t gay, and took offence?

What if he was?

***

Isaiah spends the next few weeks sketching picture upon picture of Thatcher. He finds out a lot of things about him while he does so as well - his first name is Westley, though almost nobody ever calls him that. Once, Lucas called him Westley from across the room, then spent the next two days convinced that Thatcher was going to kill him. It was pretty funny. Isaiah’s not too sure why though, as the one time he called him Wes by accident, his eyes had gotten all soft and crinkly, and the way Thatcher smiled at him had him convinced that he’d never call him anything else again.

It was so cute Isaiah had spilt his latte all over the counter, then flushed a bright pink when Wes had just laughed and made him a new one.

Wes wears beanies almost all the time, and pairs them with combat boots and leather jackets when outside. He rides a motorbike to Emma’s most days, all sleek black metal. Isaiah loves drawing him next to Cara, their two aesthetics so completely opposite it’s incredible. Wes is kind, and attractive, and he makes good coffee, and damn Isaiah is in so deep.

“He could be gay. You never know,” Lucas says one day, hunched over their table.

“Yeah, right,” Isaiah scowls, looking at the way Wes is talking to a female customer. Wes sees him looking and smiles over at him, sending a small wave their way. “I’m gonna be so alone,”

“Aww, that’s okay dude, you can always come and live with me in my attic, okay? I’ll even get you a blanket so you can be all cosy and warm,” Lucas pulls Isaiah in, ruffling his hair.

“Get off!” Isaiah says, shoving Lucas’ arm off him, but he’s laughing, so the effect is somewhat ruined.

Lucas just grins back, then steals the last bite of Isaiah’s custard square.

“Hey!” Isaiah protests, looking around indignantly.

He catches sight of Wes again, but this time the other man refuses to catch his eye, and is instead polishing a glass so furiously, Isaiah starts to worry about the glass. Wes looks for all the world like he wants to smash it instead of place it gently under the counter, and it’s kind of scary. Isaiah pretends that it doesn’t bother him that Wes won’t look his way.

“Seriously though, I reckon you have a serious shot,” Lucas says, oblivious to the way Wes is suddenly avoiding Isaiah like the plague. “He actually looks like he enjoys talking to you. It’s incredible,”

“Sure,” Isaiah snorts. “He gets on with you, Cara and Nick just fine,”

Lucas barks out a laugh. “Dude, he looks at me like I’ve killed his entire family all the time. I don’t think he’s smiled at me once since he’s been here,”

“Don’t be stupid, he smiles all the time,” Isaiah says dismissively.

“He smiles at you all the time,” Lucas says, hitting Isaiah’s arm slightly, before going back to his coffee, and ignoring the fact that he’s completely just shattered Isaiah’s entire world.

***

It was early.

Isaiah had spent the night finishing off his series, painting the final image of Cara, Nick and now Wes behind the counter. Cara was laughing, Nick looking fondly at her, and Wes in the midst of pouring a coffee. He’s quite proud of it, honestly. All he has to do now is scan them into the gallery owners.

But first, coffee.

He’s been up for most of the night working, after the owner of the small studio left him the keys to lock up. He must have fallen asleep at some point - he’d woken up about twenty minutes ago, plastered to a desk, paintbrush still in his hand. It was safe to say, his first priority at this point was getting some decent coffee - so naturally, he heads to Emma’s.

He doesn’t even think they’re open yet, but Wes must see him pawing pathetically at the door, and pauses in setting up to go and let him in, a casual smirk on his face.

“You look like death warmed up,” Wes says, his voice fond. “You alright?”

Isaiah loses his words for a second at the sound of Wes’ voice, warm and gravelly from sleep still. “I just need coffee. Like a big coffee. The biggest. Scratch that - all of the coffee you have. I need it,”

“Okay okay, calm down. Gimme a sec,” Wes shoots him a grin, and - Isaiah doesn’t need coffee, he needs a shot of tequila.

Wes turns and gets a giant flask out from the kitchen, larger than Emma’s usual to go cups, drying it with a towel on his way out. Isaiah watches as he fills it with coffee, fascinated with the way his hands make the motions almost on instinct. It’s an art form in itself, really.

“Here,” Wes hands the flask to Isaiah.

Their fingers brush as Isaiah takes it, sending chills down Isaiah’s spine.

“Big enough for you?” Wes quirks an eyebrow - and if he were anyone else, Isaiah would think that he was flirting.

“Uh, yeah,” Isaiah’s voice is nearly an octave higher than usual when he answers. “Thanks, Wes,”

It’s almost seven hours later that he notices the name on the bottom - neat letters proclaiming the flask as belonging to a ‘W. Thatcher’. It shouldn’t feel like a big issue, but - it really does.

He stares at the flask for a long, long time.

***

Isaiah had sent copies of his work to several of the local gallery owners, so now all he had to do was wait. He hadn’t wanted to upload them to his blog in case he got accepted by a gallery owner who had strict copyright, but it was a close thing. The main thing he wanted to do was show everyone at Emma’s, but he didn’t want to risk anything just yet.

So yeah. Now he just had to wait.

He goes to Emma’s and gets coffee, talks to Cara and Wes, hangs out with Lucas, sketches random people he sees. It’s entertaining enough, but he misses having something to do every day. He misses having a purpose.

It’s three weeks later when he gets the email.

***

Dear Mister Waters,

We’re delighted to inform you that your series ‘Coffee Bliss’ has been accepted into our new exhibition. The opening night is on the 21st of October of this year, and we would love for you to attend. Please find attached tickets for you and a plus one. Additional tickets will cost $20 each.

Kind Regards,

Blue Stone Gallery.

***

“Dude, dude, dude, dude dude dude dude dude!” Isaiah jumps on Lucas, shaking his shoulder before grabbing him in a giant bear hug.

Lucas hates bear hugs.

“Bro, get off!” Lucas pushes him off his bed.

Isaiah jumps back on, and hugs him again. “I got in!” he chants, “I got in, I got in, I got in!”

“Where? What?” Lucas rubs his eyes, then sits up.

“Blue Stone Gallery! They put me in their new exhibition!” Isaiah grins wildly.

“Oh my God, dude, that’s awesome!” Lucas grins back, thumping his arm.

“Yeah! They gave me two tickets to their opening night, do you wanna come?”

“Yeah, bro! That’s so cool, you’re all professional and stuff now,” Lucas teases. “When’s the opening?”

“The twenty-first,” Isaiah smiles happily. “Hey, I’m gonna head over to Emma’s, I think I might tell Wes and Cara,”

“Okay, have fun,” Lucas says. “Tell them I say hi,”

“Will do,” Isaiah stands up, and all but floats out of the room he’s so happy.

It seems like things are finally heading up.

***

“You. Did. What?” Cara asks, and Isaiah can all but see the steam coming out of her ears.

“I uh. Did a series on Emma’s. It got accepted into Blue Stone Gallery’s new exhibition,” Isaiah says, slightly less enthusiastically.

“And you didn’t think to, you know, ask any of us first?” she says, glaring at him.

“I thought it would be better if you didn’t know... more natural,” Isaiah explains, then immediately regrets it.

“Oh so that just makes it okay for you to invade our privacy like this,” Cara snaps, and if Isaiah wasn’t already scared out if his mind, he was now.

“Uhhh,” he croaks, then looks to Wes and Nick standing just behind her.

Nick just shrugs at him, expression apologetic. Wes avoids his eye for a second, then sighs and rubs a weary hand over his eyes.

“Cara,” Wes says, touching her shoulder. “Don’t you think he has a point? You’re an artist too, can’t you see where he’s coming from?”

“That - ugh! Stop trying to reason with me!” Cara wheels around to him.

‘Thank you’ Isaiah mouths to Wes, who grimaces in response.

“Isaiah’s our friend, we should be happy for him,” Wes continues. “You of all people should know how hard it is for an artist to make it,”

“I’m sorry, Cara,” Isaiah says softly. “I just didn’t want to risk our friendship,”

“You should have thought of that earlier,” she whispers back, then turns and walks off.

Isaiah stares after her sadly. “This is why I didn’t want to tell anyone,” he mutters.

“Sorry man. She’ll come round,” Wes leans over the counter and pats Isaiah’s shoulder sympathetically. “I think it’s awesome though. Congratulations,”

“Thanks,” Isaiah smiles. “I should probably go though... I’ll see you tomorrow maybe,” he turns and heads for the door.

“Don’t be a stranger!” Wes calls after him.

Isaiah waves in acknowledgement, then leaves the cafe.

He tries to ignore the thought that tells him that what he’s leaving behind is irreparable.

***

“Hey, Isaiah...” Lucas says, eyes pleading.

“What is it?” Isaiah sighs, rolling over.

He’d been lying on his bed, face down, sulking after what happened at Emma’s.

“Hypothetically...” Lucas trails off sheepishly. “What would you say if I couldn’t make it to the opening night?” he rushes out.

Isaiah groans dramatically, then buries his face back into his pillow.

“Oh no. What happened?” Lucas sits down and pats Isaiah’s shoulder.

“Cara’s mad at me,” he mumbles.

“Why?” Lucas sounds surprised.

“Paintings,” Isaiah grunts.

“Oh. I’m sorry,”

Isaiah groans again. “Wait. Did you just say that you can’t make the opening night?” he looks up suddenly.

“Yeah...” Lucas scratches his neck. “I’m really really sorry, there’s a work thing I can’t miss,”

Isaiah just sighs. “What happened? Everything was going so well,”

Lucas rubs Isaiah’s shoulder.

“It’ll be fine,” Lucas says again.

Isaiah mumbles something ineligible, then faceplants back into his pillow.

Here is safe.

Here is good.

***

Lucas had gone out to his event a while ago, leaving Isaiah where he was, sitting on the couch and making him promise to eat something before he fell asleep. He’s wearing his oldest, comfiest clothes, binge watching Parks and Rec, wallowing in his feelings. The opening night of the gallery starts in half an hour, and Isaiah’s planning on spending the whole evening staying right where he is.

It’s a solid plan.

A knock on the door startles him out of the show. Thinking it’s Lucas forgetting his keys, Isaiah rolls his eyes and stands up. There’s another knock on the door, more insistent this time, and Isaiah’s just saying, “Hold on, dude, I’m coming!” when he opens the door, and --

It’s not Lucas.

Wes is standing on the other side of the door, wearing a suit and a smile.

“You ready?” Wes asks.

“What?” Isaiah asks, confused.

“... For the opening?” Wes elaborates.

“I --” Isaiah stops. Frowns. “I wasn’t gonna go,” he admits.

“What?” Now it’s Wes’ turn to be confused.

“Lucas has this work thing, and Cara’s mad at me, and it just doesn’t really feel like something I’m supposed to be celebrating right now,” Isaiah explains.

He’s still confused as why Wes is here - but looking as good as he does in that suit, Isaiah’s not going to start complaining any time soon.

“Lucas... what? I’m confused,” Wes scratches his head.

Isaiah sighs. “Do you wanna come in?”

Wes nods, and they move to the couch, Isaiah curling back into the ball he was in not moments before.

“I don’t wanna be rude or anything, and I’m not really complaining - but why are you here?” Isaiah asks Wes.

“Lucas came down to Emma’s earlier. He said that something came up, but did I want to go to your opening tonight? And I thought, yeah, that sounds like it could be fun, then he gave me the time, and your address, and said that you’d see me then,” Wes says slowly.

Isaiah exhales. “Of course he did. I uh. Wasn’t planning on going,”

“Yeah, I realise that now,” Wes grins easily. “So what were you planning on doing?”

Crying, Isaiah thinks. “I was just gonna rewatch Parks and Rec,” he says instead.

“Okay. Mind if I join?” Wes asks.

Isaiah looks at him and nods, perhaps a bit too fast. Wes smiles again, and toes off his shoes so he can nestle into the couch. Isaiah hits play, and tries not to watch Wes too much. It’s not working too well for him. They watch for a while, then Wes shucks off his his jacket and loosens his tie. Isaiah’s mouth dries out, and his breath catches in his throat at the sight of Wes’ tight white shirt.

“Like what you see?” Wes teases, noticing Isaiah’s stare.

Isaiah flushes and looks away.

“Hey,” Wes says, suddenly gentle. Isaiah looks up, and sees that Wes has shifted so he’s right in front of him. “It’s okay,”

“Wes, I...” Isaiah breaks off, looks down again.

He feels a hand on his face and closes his eyes.

“Isaiah,” Wes breathes, and Isaiah opens his eyes to see Wes staring at him with such intensity that it hurts to breathe.

Isaiah breathes out slowly, shakily, then all of a sudden Wes’ lips are on his, and his eyes are glued closed, all of his other senses telling him that one of Wes’ hands is in his hair, and their bodies pressed together, and Wes’ other hand is pulling him close, closer than they’d ever been before.

They break apart slowly, breathing each other’s air for a while until they’re dizzy with it.

“Wow,” Wes whispers.

“I thought...” Isaiah breaks off, then laughs a little. “I thought you were straight,”

Wes chuckles, sliding his hand from Isaiah’s hair to his hand, then twining their fingers together.

“I’m bi, so... you’re half right, I guess,” he explains. “I thought you were dating Lucas,”

“Lucas?” Isaiah snorts. “He’s so unbelievably straight it’s not funny,”

“And you?” Wes prompts.

Isaiah presses his lips together. “I’m really, really not,”

“Lucky for me,” Wes smiles, then leans in and kisses Isaiah again.

It’s exciting, and new, and perfect.

So, goddamn perfect.

And - later, Isaiah will take Wes to the exhibition, and they’ll ooh and aah at all the paintings, and Wes will kiss Isaiah in front of his series. Later, when Cara forgives him, Isaiah will spend all his free time at Emma’s, sketching Wes until he goes on break, then sketching him some more. Later, they’ll move in together, and get a cat, and start a life.

Right now though?

Right now, they’ve got seven seasons of Parks and Rec, and a couch, and an empty apartment.

And it’s pretty awesome.

“I would like you to know that "Coffee Bliss” is a slice of life - the events that take place in the story are events that could easily take place in someone's life.”

#expression #expression2016 #expressionwriting #expressionentries #insideout #lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbt youth #queer youth #nz #new zealand #aotearoa

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