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※ JENNA MARBLES - “CORN ON THE COB BUT INSTEAD OF THE CORN BONE IT’S A HOT DOG” ※
starters from jenna’s video corn on the cob but instead of the corn bone it’s a hot dog ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“Just hear me out for one second.”
“You ever have a friend that just so deeply inspires you?”
“I have one of those friends!”
“You might actually remember him from years ago.”
“He microwaved a candle.”
“Sneezing himself awake is a real thing he did.”
“He is just violently himself.”
“He has broken me many times.”
“Recently, he brought me to new levels of inspiration.”
“Something about this sentence just really got me.”
“I laughed for maybe fifteen minutes straight.”
“That’s a great idea. I want to make it for you.”
“When I hear a sentence like that I can’t just not act on it.”
“It needs to exist.”
“What America has in controversial and questionable past, we make up for in culture and cuisine!”
“He deserves the very best in life.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone do this because, frankly, it’s stupid, and why would anyone do it?”
“I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.”
“There is no plan B.”
“I don’t know what else to do if this doesn’t pan out the way I want it to.”
“I don’t think it’s gonna turn out good.”
“I think that would be delicious.”
“I didn’t read this, huh?”
“I don’t understand that sentence.”
“We have a tiny whisk, thanks to Julien.”
“Why did you buy this?”
“It’s been through a lot.”
“We’re just gonna have to find out.”
“I could just sit here and eat this all day.”
“Are you supposed to measure that?”
“He hurt his face doing that, learn your lesson.”
“I’m really not comfortable with hot oil.”
“Oh, this is weird…”
“Wow. That was fun. And easy.”
“You think this’ll work?”
“It doesn’t work!”
“Oh, what do I do?”
“This is a graveyard.”
“That is so disgusting.”
“Should I throw this out?”
“Yes is the answer to that question.”
“This is great. This is fine. Everything’s fine.”
“Your butt turns them on constantly.”
“Why don’t I do the first one?”
“This is disgusting…!”
“I hate myself…”
“What have I done?”
“Oh, god, what is that abomination?”
“I couldn’t think of another way to do it…!”
“Oh, wait, that’s kind of an idea.”
“It kind of makes me want to cry.”
“Jason, I made you a present.”
“This isn’t what I envisioned at all.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“It’s actually so good…”
“It’s not really what I wanted.”
“That didn’t work at all.”
“You’re making even more of an abomination than I did.”
“What have you done?!”
“It’s for my friend Jason…!”
“What have I made…?”
“I’m trying, but it’s hot…”
“I think we did it.”
“That’s the best one..!”
“That’s what you’re asking for.”
“So fucking stupid…”
“I’m gonna cry…”
“It’s so wrong…”
“I just feel weird.”
“It’s just not right. It’s just not right.”
“Is it wrong? Yeah. Should it be banished forever? Yes.”
“I want to see if it’s possible.”
“This is where my intellectual capabilities end in terms of coming up with how this could possibly work.”
“When I hear something that inspirational it just needs to be done.”
“I hope that you’re happy with the outcome; I know I’m not.”
“What have we learned here?”
“Sometimes, things are better left inside of the brain.”
“I hope that you enjoyed this and I made all of your dreams come true.”
#rp memes#rp sentence meme#rp sentence starters#roleplay meme#sentence starters#mine#it's ya girl back at it again with more jenna starters
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※ JENNA MARBLES - “I WANT A NEW FACE” ※
starters from jenna’s video i want a new face ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“I left for one week.”
“Let me know if you need me to use this.”
“We had a great vacation!”
“Julien got food poisoning at one point, it was sick!”
“It was sick, it was tight…!”
“Maybe someday we’ll do it again.”
“You ever look at your face and you’re like, I’m tired of it, I want a different one.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“I’m sick of the same face.”
“I won’t recognize you.”
“I’m very sensitive to blood. I don’t like to see it, I don’t enjoy it.”
“I don’t like to see it, I don’t enjoy it.”
“If I watch a show, like, a hospital show, or something, I will pass out.”
“So you’re living in a fantasy world?”
“I don’t even know what you picked out.”
“He does not know what I picked out.”
“I can’t talk to a person?”
“I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
“That looks pretty good.”
“We’ll just move on.”
“It just feels really good.”
“Do you think I have a career?”
“You can’t deny that my application is flawless.”
“Don’t expose me like that.”
“I’m gonna try my best.”
“Did you take a class in this?”
“I just asked the salesperson several questions, so you could say I’m basically a trained professional at this point.”
“That’s about to change.”
“Oh, don’t do that…”
“Is this right, what I’m doing?”
“You know, here we are…”
“What are you gonna do with the money?”
“Okay, stop, it doesn’t hurt.”
“He pinched my forehead.”
“Don’t do that. Stop that.”
“Oh, what’s that smell? It’s bullshit.”
“I was advised, yet again, to not put it near my eyes, but we shall see.”
“Julien, it looks like shit…”
“I don’t wanna. I wanna give up.”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Just remember that this exists.”
“I think it adds a lot.”
“You know, sometimes, trying to open your tiny mind is exhausting.”
“Are you saying that my mind is tiny?”
“You look kinda hot.”
“Where’s the fire extinguisher?”
“You’re creeping him out.”
“That’s a nightmare right there.”
“I’ve had that nightmare.”
“Wait, why is he crying?”
“How do I delete a clip while I’m filming it?”
“I’ve gotta take this off, I can’t really breathe.”
“Oh, I broke it…”
“I fight crime.”
“It seems really hard and intimidating.”
“It’s really not too bad.”
“I feel like it’s something that I could get better at.”
“Do you feel like you accomplished what you set out to do today?”
“I feel significantly less bullshit in the world right now.”
“I have a lot of uppercuts to throw.”
“Can I go back to my old life?”
“Is she judging me?”
#rp memes#rp sentence meme#rp sentence starters#roleplay meme#roleplay sentence starters#rp sentence prompts#rp prompts#mine#this should be expected on this blog at this point#hi sophie welcome back from italy here's a new jenna marbles video to meme#said the internet to me
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※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE: YEAR III TAKE II ※
the thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college continues; these are all from my second semester of junior year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!
"Are you making a suicide pact with your dad?"
"The low for tonight is... fucking cold."
"Honestly, do you want to fight? I'll win."
"I just woke up this morning and cried."
"Facebook was like, ‘your December was great! You've been to one place with two friends’."
"Aesthetic is my middle name."
"I have to get up so early, I have something at noon."
"Tampons are just band-aids for the vagina."
"I'm poor and injured."
"I need my Airpods to drown out the silence."
"They're just trying to make more potatoes."
"I'm suing myself for being a dumb bitch."
"My vent was closed the whole time...! That's why I was so hot in the summer and so cold now...!"
"I don't like perfect eyebrows, I don't trust people with perfect eyebrows."
“I pick check out lines based on which straight boy I want to break my heart.”
"Ope, there's a gun...!"
"I love Valentine's Day because I can wear pink pants and be sad."
"My culture is not a meme."
"Please follow me, I need a free taco!"
"What do you mean by paint?"
“He looks like handsome Squidward now.”
"Where are all the men, and what's with all the goats?"
"We literally want this film to make as least sense as possible."
"Is Tito’s the gay vodka?"
"I'm either a teenage boy or a bird."
"We know what baby Jesus looks like, we don't know what baby Satan looks like."
"You are more than a kangaroo."
"My hair only looks good when I'm in North Carolina."
“What an awful way to die, naked in a sorority bathroom."
"We get called a cult a lot."
"Controversial statement: he's a wealthy asshole."
"Apparently there's a lot of radioactive waste in my hometown. It's probably fine."
"I need to have more fun. Law school is eating my soul."
"Shit's going down in Wisconsin."
"Whenever a superhero movie comes out, I pay money to go see it. It's a character flaw of mine."
"This is more ammunition to hate Superman. Not that I needed it."
"Have you ever tried to put two negative magnets together? That's how my soul felt."
"I'm wearing jeans that say 'Fuck the Pope'."
"Do you have assless chaps?"
"She follows two people: me and Barack Obama"
"He's so rich, he's recreationally into space shit."
"You're really into lizards."
"We made a pact to push each other down the stairs."
"You're Amish now. Surprise."
"I think my aunt is doing shrooms and posting about it on Facebook."
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Can u post the whole clip about the considerate bukkake please. Rather the video if possible
here’s a link to the video!
#answered#this is not typically My Thing but i will not pass up an opportunity to advertise jenna#also... not gonna reupload jenna's whole video#not about that life#not a meme
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※ JENNA MARBLES - “DOING AN EASTER EGG HUNT FOR MY DOGS” ※
starters from jenna’s video doing an easter egg hunt for my dogs ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“What- how long has it been?”
“She’s probably very tired.”
“That is so fun!”
“I haven’t celebrated Easter since I was, like, a child.”
“I don’t even really know what Easter is, at this point, do you?”
“I Wikipedia’d it.”
“I still am a little confused.”
“Apparently, Australia sees rabbits as pests.”
“Is this true, Australia? Explain.”
“Sometimes I read Wikipedia and I don’t really know what’s going on.”
“You’re Jewish, what do you think?”
“Julien is already… too ready.”
“Julien… what are you wearing…?”
“I don’t know if this is gonna work.”
“I don’t think he likes that.”
“Maybe you’ll get a donut if you shut up.”
“I’m gonna change my outfit.”
“If you’re in your thirties, and you don’t have any kids, this is what you have to look forward to.”
“Unfortunately, his will to survive is getting stifled by blades of grass.”
“Is this very fun and engaging for you?”
“You found it. Wow. Congratulations.”
“You can’t deny the fact that he’s enjoying himself.”
“I’ve never seen him eat anything outside.”
“That was so… much.”
“They’re very, very hidden.”
“I’m 32 years old and have other things to do.”
“Some gratefulness would be really appreciated.”
“It’s too much work.”
“Give. Give me now.”
“You wanna explain what that spot is?”
“He hasn’t fully gotten that concept yet.”
“He’s so nasty.”
“I don’t have it…!”
“Can I also, please, have that lady’s sandwich in her bag?”
“I decided this is really cute and fun.”
“I didn’t know if this would work at all.”
“Thank you Jesus, thank you Easter.”
“I’m telling your dad…! I’m telling your dad.”
“That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you do that…!”
“I’m so mad but also so impressed with you…!”
“This is so inconsistent…!”
“That is such a terrifying thing.”
“She does not deserve Easter. I deserve second Easter.”
“Did she just fall over?”
“Why is this so cute and satisfying?”
“What’re you gonna do? You gonna carry that the whole time?”
“Don’t get frustrated, just find another one…”
“He doesn’t even give a shit.”
“This was so fun.”
“You are too athletic and smart for your own good.”
“I’m upset that I haven’t thought of this earlier.”
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※ DANNY GONZALEZ - “TRYING TROOM TROOM’S AWFUL CRAFTS 3” ※
starters from danny’s video trying troom troom’s awful crafts 3 ! feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.!
“This is just gonna be a big old mess.”
“Most of them are just awful.”
“They’re always up to some more ridiculous shit.”
“Wow, this is riveting stuff.”
“That one’s weird.”
“Is this some kind of weird porn in disguise?”
“It requires you to dip somebody’s finger in hot glue without them noticing, somehow.”
“No one will suspect a thing when they see you’ve got guns attached to your shoes.”
“That totally won’t put off any alarms in people’s heads.”
“This looks very secretive indeed.”
“Why the fuck do we need to make a big hole in it?”
“I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and we’re gonna do it their way.”
“I need a marker.”
“Okay, I got a marker.”
“Isn’t it bad luck for superstitious people to open up umbrellas indoors?”
“I’m not superstitious, I don’t care.”
“This whole table collapsed.”
“Oh shit, alright…”
“I knew that this was coming, but I was hoping that it was gonna be later.”
“I hate hot glue!”
“Oh, great, the cord isn’t long enough.”
“Ah… the refreshing burn of hot glue on my fingertips.”
“Oh, wait… did I do it wrong?”
“Oh, fuck! God damn it! Ow! It hurts!”
“What’s that? It’s ninety degrees out and not raining?”
“I think that this umbrella might be cursed.”
“What? The mission failed?”
“Wait, so are they just admitting that this doesn’t work?”
“Looks like this one doesn’t fucking work.”
“I’m so confused, why did I just put in all this effort?”
“By the way, don’t actually try this, it’s not gonna work, dude, are you crazy?”
“That umbrella was cursed.”
“Well, this is not good.”
“I’m just gonna pretend like it’s fine.”
“Man, that thing does not look good.”
“Do you give your teachers gifts for Easter?”
“I just bought this pillow at Target. It was $15.”
“What niche scenario is this for?”
“Should this look different?”
“Your boy doesn’t have multi-purpose glue.”
“Look, hot glue is every purpose glue.”
“You better believe that that’s gonna stick.”
“Let’s just assume that that’s gonna stick.”
“Let’s see if it looks like what I hope it does.”
“So, this is great.”
“Wow, this is a disaster.”
“Oh, god, I got fur in my mouth.”
“I can explain…”
“Just carry on… have a good day.”
“I’ll speak with you in a bit.”
“Needless to say, I think she liked it.”
“This is exactly what I wanted.”
“They know that they’ve tricked me.”
“On a scale of one to ten how worried for your own safety would you be?”
“Oh my god! That’s fuckin’ terrifying!”
“I think that this one was a tremendous success.”
“It’s a problem that we all face at times.”
“I know what tongues look like because I am a human.”
“So I got, like, sequins in my mouth.”
“This is, like, constantly almost making me vomit.”
“Man, what the fuck?”
“Fuck yeah, you did it, bitch!”
“It has sparkles on it. And it makes me wanna throw up.”
“I am definitely skeptical.”
“I’m optimistic, so let’s give it a shot.”
“That’s like the worst thing I’ve ever smelled.”
“I think I did a pretty good job with this one, and didn’t rush through it at all.”
“I heard me screaming.”
“It sounded like it did absolutely jack-shit.”
“Thanks for the fun waste of twenty minutes.”
“Please don’t look that up. It is true.”
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※ JULIEN SOLOMITA - “I TRIED MAKING THAT TERRIBLE BANANA PEEL PULLED PORK SANDWICH” ※
starters from julien’s video i tried making that terrible banana peel pulled pork sandwich ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“Welcome back to my kitchen.”
“I feel the need to apologize before anything begins here today.”
“I would love to come to an understanding that sometimes you make mistakes.”
“Sometimes, you make mistakes, okay? And I think today, I’m gonna make one.”
“I’m, like, 95% sure that today, a big mistake will take place literally right here.”
“That leaves a small chance that we have the weirdest success I’ve ever had.”
“How can I fight a recipe?”
“Are you holding any hot coffee?”
“Maybe try sitting down before I say this next part.”
“You may be asking yourself: that’s disgusting. Well, yourself would be right.”
“It is disgusting.”
“The recipe is banana peel pulled pork.”
“Again, my deepest apologies to everybody.”
“You know what? Sometimes, you’ve gotta take a risk.”
“You’ve got to try something that’s a little bit crazy.”
“Pretty sure this is gonna be bad.”
“After I’m done throwing this up, I’m gonna want some nutrients in my body.”
“Then, you’re gonna say you’re sorry, and move on with your life.”
“I opened the dishwasher too soon.”
“Don’t waste this.”
“There needs to be some good that comes of this.”
“You want it to be as bland as possible.”
“Extra apologies to you.”
“I normally don’t make recipes that are this… dumb.”
“Even you guys aren’t gonna be interested in what I’m cooking today.”
“Okay, well, that’s too late.”
“Does this look appetizing to you?”
“I’m sorry to betray you like this.”
“Oh my god, what am I doing?”
“Just to think, two perfectly good bananas had to go through trauma because I just wanted to make a shitpost recipe.”
“I feel guilty.”
“When I was a kid, you know, I’d eat orange peel for a dare.”
“No one dared me to do this…!”
“I’m not surrounded by peer pressure, I’m doing this on my own free will.”
“It is so vile-looking.”
“Everything smells really delicious now but don’t let that fool you.”
“I’m actually gonna let that sit for a second and think about what it’s done.”
“This is a recipe I found, and it should be fine.”
“There is cabbage all over my kitchen.”
“What the fuck!?”
“I can’t even eat it…!”
“Oh my god, it’s exactly what I thought it was gonna taste like…!”
“That was not even edible.”
“As much as I’m shitting on this recipe, I am taking it seriously. I am fully following every single step to make sure that, if this is actually good, I’m gonna try it, and it’s gonna be good.”
“That was horrible.”
“You know what’s nasty?”
“I tried it. It’s as bad as it looks.”
“No, it’s basically not…!”
“I hate you…”
“Actually, the truth is, I really, really didn’t have to do this to ‘em.”
“Choose your fighter. Plot twist: they’re both the same fighter, and they’re both bad.”
“I guess, at this point, I have to take a bite of this sandwich.”
“Okay. That is the most foul thing I have ever put in my mouth.”
“How is that a recipe!?”
“I feel stupid for giving that a try.”
“It is just as bitter as you think a banana peel would taste.”
“Oh… no no no no no.”
“‘How can I fight a recipe’ is an accurate response to this.”
“I’m being honest; I would be the first to debunk how bad this recipe was if it actually tasted good.”
“That was revolting.”
“I’m still tasting it.”
“Get away from me.”
“Thank you, but I did not like this.”
“I will pay the full price so I can leave and never come back.”
“I feel so let down by myself.”
“Two poor bananas had to die for that shitty recipe.”
“I hope you got what you came for, because I sure as fuck did, and it’s disgusting.”
“I’m gonna be going back to cooking mac and cheese and things that I know will not betray me next time.”
“This was something I do not want to relive.”
“That’s it. That’s… that’s it.”
“I need to go brush my teeth or something.”
“Thank you so much. You mean the world.”
“I don’t have any answers right now, so if you could just give me some space…”
“Fuck… it was so bad…”
“If you want me to rate that out of ten, negative one hundred. Do not make this. Do not make this.”
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※ JULIEN SOLOMITA - “MAKING A GIANT ARIES COOKIE” ※
starters from julien’s video making a giant aries cookie ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“Sorry, I had to take a phone call.”
“It is the season of extra, aka Aries season.”
“Welcome to my extended birthday party that lasts a month long.”
“It probably won’t cook right, and I’ll probably end up just eating it with a spoon.”
“I really don’t care, because I want a massive cookie.”
“I think we need the hand mixer for that, or, as I like to call it, the spinny, loudy thing that Jenna doesn’t let me use sometimes.”
“That is so satisfying to look at.”
“Look at me measuring and shit.”
“I can’t believe that has no calories.”
“She’s French, and she doesn’t speak any English.”
“No no no, don’t do that.”
“I’m making such a mess.”
“Incredible cookie dough… almost don’t wanna bake it…”
“I have this weird feeling that it’s not gonna fully cook in ten minutes.”
“See, what you need here is… a knife.”
“I agree, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Okay, I made a cookie.”
“Are you having trouble baking it right now?”
“The recipe said ten minutes… it’s been, like, thirty.”
“It’s a cookie soup.”
“Let me explain how good it is. It’s really good.”
“I don’t wanna go to the E.R. today, it’s a nice day.”
“It’s very overcast.”
“I know you have urges to grab knives by the blade, but, like… please…”
“When you said you were doing this, I should’ve come down here and supervised you.”
“I don’t need supervision.”
“You literally need supervision at all times.”
“I’m gonna go lay down…”
“That’s so fucking obnoxious.”
“Here’s what I’ll do, I’ll leave the cookie in the oven, we’ll go do your nails, we’ll come back, by the time we get back, it’ll be nice and cooked.”
“Wait, you agree with that plan?”
“I wasn’t listening…!”
“You were absolutely not listening.”
“You just agreed to me leaving the oven on while we left.”
“I can’t stand you when you’re so charming and sweet and the best ever.”
“If you weren’t so funny and adorable, I would just, fuckin’… move out.”
“You’re just baking one cookie, what’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t see the issue.”
“No playing with knives.”
“Don’t touch that knife until you need it.”
“Don’t make me come back in here.”
“I won’t touch this knife. I’ll touch these knives.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not hot at all.”
“That’s so fucking hot, Julien.”
“I let it cool off for, like, thirty seconds.”
“It’s fucking piping hot.”
“I think it’s safe I did it to ‘em today.”
“I’m gonna handcuff you from yourself.”
“I hate Aries season, is it over yet?”
“I don’t like this!”
“Wait, I was mad a second ago.”
“Happy Aries season.”
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could you make a meme list from the jenna marbles’ video ‘i read mean comments about my dogs’, please? thank you!
part 2 is on this one! :)
part 1 is here! :)
#perankotekru#icb i didnt do this one yet that's one of my favorite jenna videos#also like i said if you guys want me to do jenna videos individually as opposed to in sets of 10 lemme know!!
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※ JENNA MARBLES - “READING MEAN COMMENTS ABOUT MY DOGS” ※
starters from jenna’s video reading mean comments about my dogs ! feel free to change pronouns/names/etc !
“This is all in good fun, I promise you.”
“Who goes on the Internet to just shit on dogs? Fuckin’… Satan.”
“Let’s be honest - they deserve it.”
“I think way worse about you.”
“People think he’s dead…!”
“Is he okay…?”
“It’s okay-! You’re still alive!”
“He reminds me of my dead grandmother.”
“Why does everyone think you’re dead!?”
“That is absolutely true and you know it.”
“I love you so much, but there’s nothing in your head.”
“That wasn’t too bad, was it?”
“You don’t even care…!”
“Wait - she was small once?”
“Yo - are those things dogs or goblin twinks?”
“At least I didn’t get two of the same dog.”
“Fuck!”
“You insensitive fu-!”
“He looks like he finally understands life.”
“He always looks like he’s on the verge of tears.”
“You’re built like a condom.”
“If he were in the Hunger Games, he’d kill himself before anyone else got the chance to kill him.”
“You’ve gotta make room for him, he’s little.”
“It’s like he wants to die…!”
“I think that’s the real takeaway here.”
“Fuck you Sundae and fuck you Klondike. Get fucked.”
#rp memes#rp sentence meme#sentence starter meme#sentence starters#rp sentence starters#roleplay meme#mine#this is one of my favorite jenna videos tbh#i cant believe i never got this far back to do it#also lemme know if u guys want me to start posting them individually instead of in bunches of ten!!
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※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XVI ※
starters from jenna’s 10 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences
MR. MARBLES IS TOOTHLESS
“Alright, so here’s the deal.”
“He has a small, tiny mouth.”
“This has been a very intensive recovery process.”
“It’s just been a lot.”
“He needs hugs and cuddles.”
“I don’t know what else to say.”
“I feel particularly guilty about this.”
“Life happened, you know?”
“A dog with no teeth is absolutely hilarious.”
“It just felt like the right thing to do today.”
GIVING MY DOGS A BATH WHILE THEY LISTEN TO ROYALTY FREE SPA MUSIC
“Is that too loud?”
“My dogs smell like butt.”
“You are the nastiest of them all.”
“Do you feel relaxed?”
“Yesterday, I racked a 20 pound dumbbell onto my own finger and it basically blew up.”
“I thought I had actually severed my finger.”
“Tough shit, you’re still part of the team.”
“It hurts really bad.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“Do you like this music? It’s royalty free. But it did cost $25.”
“Are you hiding from the problem?”
“Is it $25 worth of nice?”
“I’m actually really glad I’m wearing a rubber glove for some of this.”
“Don’t disturb him, he’s sleeping.”
“You screaming is not part of the royalty free spa music.”
“Do you know where you are?”
“I aspire to live my life the same way.”
“That was some nice, wholesome, selfish fun.”
I WANT TO BE TALL
“I wanna be tall…”
“What are you doing?”
“I wanna be taller than I am.”
“Stop - stop doing that.”
“Turn that off.”
“I’m gonna grow, like, seven inches this year.”
“My plan is to just sleep a lot.”
“They said I could do anything, so I’m gonna grow seven inches taller.”
“I can do anything I want.”
“Can I get a hell yeah?”
“What’s the matter, you don’t like Fur Elise?”
“There’s a lot of room for opportunity to improve in my life.”
“It’s physically impossible, but go off…”
“They said flying was impossible, and here come the Wright Brothers…”
“There’s a robot on Mars right now and you’re telling me I can’t grow seven inches?”
“Not that I leave this house, but, like, if I did, I’d want it to be like, wha-bam!”
“The doctor said I was gonna be 5’7” when I was a baby, and then something fuckin’ happened and now I’m 5’5”.”
“I worked out for the first time just the other day.”
“There’s no shortage of adult stores.”
“I’m gonna need you to do a lot of it for me.”
“Here we are, at the place where my dreams are gonna come true.”
“This is a bad idea.”
“You look very surprised.”
“Is this some form of torture that the universe gave me that I can’t think about things that matter, I can only think about things like this.”
“No no no no no, you put that sentence back in your mouth.”
“You either feel me or you don’t, and if you don’t, get out.”
“Part of being tall is constantly being on the phone.”
“You know what the cruel joke of the universe is? I’m 5’5” and my brother is 6’5”. Tell me how that makes any fucking sense!”
“Tell me how that makes any fucking sense!”
“Keeping things down here is biased against tall people.”
“Being tall equals power, everyone knows that!”
“There’s some sort of energy power here that I didn’t sign up for.”
“I’m a very athletic, intimidating tall person.”
“How dare you expose me! I thought you were on my team…!”
LET’S ABSTRACT PAINT
“I already decided oil paint’s not for me.”
“The only tool that you use is a knife.”
“We can’t really see what you’re doing.”
“I feel like I can do it.”
“I have art fear.”
“It looks easier than it probably is.”
“It’s kinda difficult to get the hang of this.”
“It is definitely much more difficult than it appears.”
“This feels really fun and good.”
“Uh-oh, I think I ruined it.”
“I take back all of my confidence.”
“My too much gene kicked in.”
“Isn’t this part of art, though? Figuring out when to stop?”
“I was gonna say I don’t hate it, but, you know what? I fuckin’ hate it.”
“I feel like I need to trust myself and not do this thing where I try to make it better.”
“I at least salvaged this into something that I don’t completely, viscerally hate.”
“I’m already feeling a little defeated, but I’m not gonna let it stop me.”
“I can do better than this, I know I can.”
“Why is it so relaxing to watch someone else make art?”
“It’s almost like I would do this to relax.”
“I’m jealous that yours is working out.”
“Watching you have success gives me confidence that I can be successful.”
“I’m not sure it’s because I have more confidence, but I’m pretending that I have more confidence.”
“I can do it, and I can stop.”
“My confidence is building, and building, and building.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“This one is called… Stop It.”
“Speaking of stop it, I should probably do that.”
“I feel so in control now.”
“I’m not used to this feeling.”
“I think you need to stop it.”
“Goodbye, I’m very tall, I have to leave.”
I FILMED MY DOG WHENEVER HE CRIED OR WAS NASTY FOR 24 HOURS
“To our credit, we actually did attempt this.”
“If anyone critiques my tacking-slash-sewing skills, I will cry.”
“I don’t think that my ego can handle that so if you would just please back off, I’d appreciate that.”
“We were up for a treat tonight, weren’t we?”
“Can we just drink our coffee real quick?”
“That’s what I use to wash myself when I shower.”
“You sat on my foot.”
“There’s two ways to go through life. One: you could just sit back and enjoy the ride, or two: you could just scream the entire time the whole thing is happening to you. Both are gonna end up the same.”
“Sometimes I feel like screaming my way through life.”
MAKING FACE FRECKLES ~*WORK*~ FOR ME
“Sometimes I feel like y’all just want me to do something to watch me fail.”
“I’m not gonna fail.”
“That’s not gonna happen. Not on my watch.”
“When you live in a sunless void like Rochester, New York, no one would really make fun of your freckles, because it means you actually saw the sun for a little.”
“I did work at a tanning salon for quite a number of years.”
“Don’t tan your skin.”
“I’m down for whatever.”
“I really know what I’m doing, basically.”
“I’m really not very artistic, even though I try.”
“I’m just gonna sit here and space out for a while.”
“I’m making such a mess.”
“We’re really just gonna go for this one.”
“I might just fuck around and get some sun damage.”
“This is a lot of work.”
“I know when I’m being trolled. Except for that one time when I did a face mask that was just mostly turmeric and my face was very orange. I got got that time.”
“That’s overkill. There’s no way you need to do that.”
“Welcome back to this isn’t fucking working.”
“Even though I live in a place where there is sunshine, it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go in it.”
“When is it time to stop?”
“I wanna look like one of those cute outside people that goes outside.”
“What the fuck is the point anymore…?”
“It only took literally all day and night.”
“This is so impractical, I’m sorry.”
“I love it, but this is stupid.”
TURNING MY BOYFRIEND INTO A BRATZ DOLL
“I just wanna see if I’m capable and able.”
“What if you could hear out of your eyebrows?”
“Well, that took altogether way too long.”
“Worst-case scenario, you ruin it.”
“Don’t, don’t, don’t, whatever you’re doing, don’t.”
“I only fucked up, like, seven times.”
“This is the no-complaints zone.”
“That looks kinda good, though, right?”
“Why did you stop breathing?”
“If anyone makes fun of this, I’m gonna cry.”
“I feel like I’m just ready to disobey my parents.”
“Look at what I’m looking at right now.”
“I don’t know what to do…!”
“It took so fucking long.”
“What the fuck? Julien, what the fuck.”
“I wanted to give in to peer pressure.”
“I’m gonna need to take the longest shower of my life.”
“You did great, you can’t sell yourself short.”
REACTING TO YOUR MEMES (MEME 👏 REVIEW 👏)
“You’re just, like, chaotic energy.”
“He’s such a good sport.”
“So talented. She is so fucking talented.”
“Now you’ve been warned, too.”
“I like this. This song’s a bop.”
“It makes me laugh.”
“You are so much all the time.”
“So many people are enjoying them.”
“You do your thing.”
“This is fucking talent.”
“You’re all really funny and talented.”
“It’s genuinely fun and enjoyable.”
“It’s a happy, happy good time.”
“I will see you guys next week for me doing something stupid, probably.”
“Did you? Did you do that to me?”
BUYING MY DOGS EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH
“To be honest? It’s kind of boring.”
“I guess we’re just gonna try.”
“We got a plant on the way here, because I have a problem.”
“This is racking up very quickly.”
“You’re not gonna be able to fit that in your mouth.”
“It can’t cost much, it’s a sticker.”
“You don’t even know what you just did.”
“Damn, is that what you’re into?”
“Touch something else.”
“Yeah, feels a little wasteful.”
“What the hell was that?”
“Why would you do that?”
“You really just went for it, didn’t you?”
“Thank you for contributing.”
“Well, what do you think?”
“I love my new necklace.”
“He hasn’t moved.”
“I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“It’s too bad I don’t know what in the world that is.”
“Honestly, what is going on?”
“I want 700 Fruit Roll-Ups and Coco Puffs.”
“Don’t make me look bad.”
“They just… wanted it.”
“They just want the biggest thing they can find.”
“It’s just really cute.”
“Are you pleased with yourself?”
“I just got got.”
“That was that. I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
“I’m being attacked. I’m being attacked. I’m being attacked. I’m being attacked.”
I MADE THAT AWFUL JEANS CHAIR
“What are you watching?”
“We’re this for the long haul.”
“You know I will make it.”
“This craft assumes you have four identical pairs of jeans.”
“You can’t just staple everything together. It doesn’t work.”
“I know for a fact that this is not really going to work.”
“Who is this chair for?”
“I’m the only person I can think of who this chair’s for.”
“I just want to talk.”
“I feel like we would get along.”
“As horrid and terrible and awful as it is, it kind of fucking rules.”
“I know we shouldn’t make it, but I’m gonna make it.”
“This is the best I could do.”
“This much money, you could buy a chair.”
“Literally no one I’ve ever known has four pairs of jeans period, let alone ones that they don’t want.”
“I have two pairs of jeans and resent both of them for being uncomfortable.”
“How are you allowed to just post make believe things on the internet?”
“That’s not gonna work, it’s gonna fall apart.”
“I’m getting hot and angry.”
“Don’t touch it, it’s very delicate.”
“They probably started off with something simple and just turned into absolute madness.”
“Yeah, I’ve got 30 pounds of Poly-Fil, said no one but Jo-Ann Fabrics.”
“Did you check the pockets? You’ve always gotta check the pockets.”
“Alright, well, maybe we’re onto something.”
“It’s coming apart already…”
“Here’s our semi completed circle of hell.”
“$140, this cost to make.”
“It’s so sharp I’m gonna cut myself.”
“It’s ugly, it’s stupid, it’s infuriating, it makes me so angry. That’s why it belongs in my house.”
“It’s not a chair. It’s a bunch of jeans stapled together.”
“This is really getting up there with one of the more frustrating things I think I’ve ever done.”
“Everything keeps falling apart.”
“This is a fraud, this is a lie.”
“Mathematically, it makes no sense.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry.”
“I hate it. It doesn’t even work.”
“If we breathe on it right now, it’s gonna fall apart.”
“It’s the worst thing in the whole world and it cost $140.”
“I’ve never seen you in a physically relaxed position less relaxed than you are right now.”
“You know why I’m so mad? ‘Cause this is fucking comfortable.”
“It’s honestly kind of sick.”
“Why did they have to staple it?”
“Don’t you sabotage me like this.”
“Where will I sit now?”
“You can’t handle this butt.”
“You are doing that on purpose…!”
“I have a great idea.”
“I didn’t appreciate it as a chair, but I appreciate it as art.”
“We had a pretty good time here today.”
“You can’t just staple denim.”
“It was $140. It wasn’t worth it.”
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※ STARKID’S THE GUY WHO DIDN’T LIKE MUSICALS ※
starters from starkid’s new musical the guy who didn’t like musicals ! feel free to change names/pronouns/places/etc !
"I mean, what the fuck?”
“Should we kill him?”
“What an ass. What a bitch. What a cuck!”
“It’s the end of the world, Paul.”
“We swear we will teach you.”
“The apotheosis is upon us.”
“Did you hear the word?”
“He’s destined to go viral.”
“Where the fuck is he?”
“He definitely won’t like this.”
“You’ve gotta believe in something, Paul.”
“You piece of shit.”
“Were you gonna sign up for the company softball league.”
“I don’t want to, though.”
“Sweetheart, it’s... cuddle night.”
“What do you mean ‘so what’, the counselor says we should do it at least once a month!”
“We skipped last month...”
“Don’t you think I’m tired, too?”
“Maybe tomorrow night then, huh?”
“That was Sam. He’s doing just fine...”
“I’m sorry, you can’t smoke in here.”
“Her mother, just to make me look small, took her all the way to New York to see Hamilton.”
“Wow. She’ll like that just as much as Hamilton.”
“She thinks you’re cool. Maybe you could talk me up a bit.”
“Bill... no. Sorry.”
“You’d rather do nothing than come with us to see Mamma Mia.”
“I’d rather do anything than go see Mamma Mia.”
“The idea of sitting there, trapped, in a musical, that is my own personal hell.”
“I’m trying to reconnect with my teenage kid and you’re just gonna leave me hanging?”
“I just want my daughter back...”
“You didn’t invite me.”
“I don’t wanna show you up.”
“I don’t wanna give my money to some corporate chain.”
“I don’t wanna disturb anyone.”
“Did you do that to be nice or did you do it to be an asshole?”
“Oh, no, what am I gonna do without that dollar that I have to split with five other people?”
“That sign’s bullshit!”
“I still haven’t gotten my hot chocolate.”
“I have very low blood sugar.”
“I just tipped because, you know... people should tip.”
“Not that you’re an asshole. Well, maybe you are.”
“Oh, no, that’s for you. I don’t give a shit about them.”
“I think I had to see that. I did not like it.”
“I don’t like musicals. Watching people sing and dance makes me very uncomfortable.”
“Some things are worth it.”
“I see you in here all the time, don’t I?”
“Oh, shoot, I forgot Bill’s caramel frap... eh, fuck Bill.”
“You don’t give to Greenpeace, do you?”
“This has to be the last time.”
“You’re such an asshole, but that uniform is so fucking sexy.”
“If anyone thinks that makes me less of a man, they can talk to my fucking gun!”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”
“Come on, you bastard! You don’t think I’m ready for you?”
“What the fuck was that?”
“What’s happening? I’m very confused and concerned by all of this.”
“Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.”
“We get there, and the whole theatre was exploded by a god dang meteor!”
“You got enough coffee in the sugar?”
“Is today some kind of, I don’t know, Canadian holiday or something?”
“You’re fucking useless, Paul.”
“I just have a bad feeling about all of this.”
“I don’t know why, but it frightened me.”
“What do you want, Paul?”
“What’s that one concrete goal that motivates all your actions?”
“I don’t know, I want money-?”
“A man so vague just can’t be trusted.”
“Do you know what I want for myself?”
“I want you to choke me out at night.”
“This seems like a private moment. Like, who is this for?”
“I want you to choke me while I jerk off.”
“No, Paul, I want you to hear this, if you leave, you’re fired.”
“I forgot what I wanted to say.”
“I wanna go home!”
“Please, God, I just want a black coffee!”
“You’re talking to me, like a normal person.”
“I think there’s something terribly wrong with the world today.”
“It is scary, if you think about the implications. Promise me you’ll think about the implications.”
“Are you frightened?”
“When I got this job, I signed up to serve coffee and cold, shitty pastries.”
“Whose decision was it to line an alleyway with tons of shrubs?”
“There’s a dead end here, so... just go the other way again.”
“I know this is probably a bad time, but, uh, do you like film?”
“You were right. I didn’t think about the implications.”
“If you want to stay in our hiding spot, you’ve gotta stay quiet.”
“Uh... fuck you...?”
“You grabbed the wrong one, you noodle!”
“We’re cops. And we make sense.”
“We’re up in your shit.”
“Do the things I say, I’m a cop!”
“We have to get out of downtown, okay? Downtown is fucked.”
“I’m his favorite student ‘cause I bought him groceries once.”
“What do you call a guy that lives in a fortress?”
“He thinks the world is ending, he’s been preparing for the last 20 years for the apocalypse.”
“I am a presbyterian. I am not gonna die in your dirty-ass methodist church.”
“I don’t need to see it, thank you.”
“These are my friends. This is Paul, and... them.”
“I theorized this exact scenario thirty years ago.”
“What the fuck is this shit?”
“Look no further than my robot assistant, Alexa.”
“Do you have anything to take the edge off, like... drink - or something?”
“Young man, for the past 27 years, I have been stockpiling the bare essentials needed for human survival in the event of a world-ending cataclysm. You bet your ass we’ve got booze.”
“If I’m gonna die, I’m gonna go out doing the thing I love. Screwing around with another man’s wife.”
“I love him. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.”
“No, Charlotte! This guy is a scumbag. You could upgrade to a sleazeball.”
“Where am I? Why am I tied to a chair?”
“I really don’t wanna die alone in here.”
“How the hell am I supposed to make a Shirley Temple without any cherries?”
“If it’s as serious as all that, I figured we might need a designated driver.”
“If you make one more crack at me, I am gonna... do something to you!”
“I’m gonna kick your- head!”
“I wanna see you kick above your waist.”
“Okay, it was a dumb threat, stop rubbing it in.”
“This is supposed to relax us, not make us kill each other.”
“I’m gonna start a pot farm.”
“Weed’s the future. It’s gonna be legal nationwide soon, bet you any money...!”
“We hated ourselves!”
“We’re gonna kick your ass, and then we’re gonna fucking kick your ass.”
“Sing the beginning of Moana!”
“I didn’t like that movie.”
“Alright. That was terrible.”
“Right now, you need to run and hide.”
“Everything’s going to be fine.”
“I knew we were gonna need a designated driver!”
“You screaming is gonna get us killed.”
“What was I supposed to do? Lie?”
“Whatever I said this morning, I’m sorry.”
“We need to leave right now.”
“Why does it hurt to love you?”
“You let me down again.”
“Wear a watch! Time is a precious thread in the fabric of the universe! It deserves its own tool of measurement!”
“I was trying to save something that could not be saved.”
“I don’t think it can do that...”
“If they hear us, they will kill us!”
“This song’s pretty good, huh?”
“While I’ve been preparing for the apocalypse, I’ve also been writing my own musical.”
“Do you mind if I give you the pitch?”
“We don’t have time...”
“Fuckin’ go for it!”
“Last week feels like ages ago.”
“Five o’clock can’t come soon enough.”
“I can’t wait to get home to my boys.”
“We’ve gotta get out of here while they’re distracted!”
“I say I’d be a better person, I’m still not a good person!”
“Fuck you, Hatchetfield!”
“I hate to say this right now, but this is what seatbelts are for.”
“I don’t know your friends’ fucking names...!”
“Our coffee was shit ‘cause we didn’t care.”
“We’ve been waiting for you, Paul.”
“Is my integrity worth anything at all?”
“You’re sure there were no other survivors?”
“Don’t you want to see me happy?”
“Can I - can I use your phone, please?”
“Why are you clapping?”
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※ SAFIYA NYGAARD - “I WORE THIGH-HIGH UGGS FOR A WEEK” ※
starters from safiya’s video i wore thigh-high uggs for a week ! feel free to change pronouns/places/etc !
“Your favorite middle school shoes have gone sexual.”
“Yes, folks, they’re real, and they’re horrifying.”
“Because I’m predictable, I bought them.”
“I think I’m gonna have to wear them.”
“It’s a portal to Hades. Or Australia.”
“I’m trying to be avant garde high fashion.”
“Is this fashion?”
“I’m nervous to bring scissors near these.”
“I’m flashing everyone. Why is this happening?”
“I think I gave a few people in their cars a nice view.”
“You guys were brutally honest.”
“Hmm… I hate these.”
“After looking at them for a second, you did not like them.”
“I may be developing a soft spot.”
“My knees are hot.”
“They’re trying to be subversive.”
“I don’t remember these. But I remember something like these.”
“I think I’m gonna have to wear them on the plane.”
“We did eventually make our flight.”
“It was a very uncomfortable flight.”
“I probably should have just packed them.”
“If that’s not fashion, nothing is.”
“We headed over to Independence Hall to harass the birthplace of our nation.”
“I just wonder if the Founding Fathers knew it would come to this.”
“He seemed to like oversized things.”
“You know, they’re innovative. New. Invention-y.”
“I think probably the most legal use for this would be to sneak a bunch of snacks into a movie theater.”
“Now he has to hang out with me.”
“He looks ashamed.”
“What terror hath you unleashed onto Pennsylvania?”
“I don’t know how well people are taking to it.”
“I don’t think people are loving it.”
“I feel like we should probably head home before I’m banned from Pennsylvania forever.”
“$1300 is an extremely high price point for any boot pretty much ever.”
“I know that might not be how fashion works, but it’s what I want.”
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※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE: YEAR III ※
the thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college continues; these are all from my first semester of junior year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!
"Bippity-bop, is that the name of a song?"
"I'd like to die in Spain, in my lover's arms. Or just not be murdered, that'd be cool too."
"You've gotta hydrate before you die-drate."
"We are going to steal Niagara Falls."
"Roundabouts are my bitch."
"Being confused with a freshman isn't the worst thing to be confused with. Better than being confused with a serial killer."
"It was when I was three and almost burned down the house."
"Is that in the interview? How's your immune system?"
"The devil's weakness is shrubbery."
"I have a very strong immune system because I'm gross."
"It's supposed to help my hairline… it’s not gonna help my hairline.”
“You have to rest to fight the chairs.”
"If you scroll back far enough, you'll see her post pictures from her mission trip, as the whites do."
“She used to be full of sunshine and rainbows and then she turned into a bitch.”
"No hand holding. Only blowjobs."
"Elon Musk is gonna cry."
"Are you about to be in a porno but in real life?"
"Autocorrect is a Jewish saint."
"He's a claymation penguin and he will change your life."
"Our fridge was just organized like... shitty Tetris."
"I had two bananas and six pieces of cookie dough... I need to go to the grocery store."
"Goodnight, you... people..."
"There's only four very very sticky coffee colored pennies."
"When you're kinda kinky: spank-esque."
"Officer, you can't arrest me. It's gameday.”
"Welcome back to Sophie Doesn't Know How To Accurately Portion Food. On this episode, we're making a fuck load of pasta."
"On a scale of one to ten, he was fine."
"I'm gonna pour barbecue sauce all over my finger and act like I cut it off."
"The cornbread might be a minute, but the porn-bread won't be."
"First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you."
"After this game, we could go to the dining hall and get unlimited biscuits."
"We took a vote. You're going to have to start needlepointing."
"I thought it couldn't rain in here...! I thought that was a myth...!"
"No, I can make soup. I can't make pie!"
"The leather riding crop. A classic."
"You want me to distill the water? Harvest a fucking raincloud?"
"I need to straight up snort caffeine pills for it to work."
"You do your homework, you die."
"If you accidentally stab me, it would be really funny?"
"Do you guys take ghost money?"
"When I was little, I really liked showering in the dark."
"Not to be dramatic, but are you going to tell him you love him?"
"Somebody broke into my car last night and smoked meth."
"Maybe they were talking about someone else, but now I'm sad."
"Am I eating sawdust or cardboard?"
"And then he sent three pictures of Mediterranean food."
"Just stand there and be sad."
"There are no more Toys R Us kids. Only Crate And Barrel adults."
"That cake almost killed me. I'll have more, please."
"Would you like some Jesus?"
"I don't care how convenient it is, never buy milk at the gas station."
"He just destroyed his table with an ax that he found on the street."
"Deep fried Coca-Cola...! Solidify it, deep fry it, eat it."
"You Uber to class? Like... all the time?"
"I'm not even going to try. No, you know what? I am going to try."
"How do you pronounce "p-h-t-h"?"
“That’s a good cloud! Let’s cheer for that cloud!”
"Also, I was sad and drunk, so..."
"What happens if you pour beer on a candle?"
"Nobody minds a little violence in October."
"Apparently, they don't poop out of their mouths."
"Are you ever $270 in credit card debt and you just don't care?"
"You know what we had to read last year? 1200 pages of Don Quick-sote."
"She had an attack of religious conscience and she was like, mmm, the devil."
"I'm Billy Wilder, and you can go fuck yourself."
"I paid for these with student loans and complaining."
“I was so stressed I blacked out.”
"I was listening to a sad audiobook, about to cry on the Stairmaster."
"So God comes out, dick swinging..."
"It's only from May to September, because that's... prime goat season."
"Really tempted to buy a dog or a raccoon right now."
"He's such a cute little tall man."
"Sammy serves no man."
"Tell me I did a great job."
“I’ll speak for everyone and say we have no idea what’s going on.”
“Maybe we can have an affair next week.”
"The colors of the wind need to chill."
“It has 18 wheels! That’s too many wheels!”
"I had a nightmare about that ham."
"It's almost like Groundhog Day, but awful."
"Come to the darkness. We don't have cookies and we have sad but like still come."
"Alright, let's go eat this ass."
"Military hardware is not my thing."
"Put me down for two scoops of pain, please."
"Gotta get away from the capitalists."
"Color schemes like this are what happens when you don't have any gay men in your life."
"I won 86 cents."
"Can we kill death itself?"
"Stuff on bread -- a category I can get behind."
"If I can't be gay in my own home where can I be gay?"
"There was a little tiny towel that I used to dry most of my body."
"Frazzled onions - they have an exam tomorrow."
"Everybody loves you and the ones that don’t, they're going to jail."
"It's no big deal, but Buzzfeed told me I'd find my husband abroad, so..."
"These two men, a combined height of 12'10"..."
"It was one AM and I was not about to get into the Pussy Discourse but I am now."
"I'm a Suffering major."
"That's my 1/100th of a cent that I worked for."
"They misspelled canoeing ‘canerfing’."
"I sent nudes in a Waffle House bathroom"
"On Monday, let's all get together and cry."
"I'm never going to do that again. But probably tomorrow."
"All I know is that those two glasses look like six."
"If you play a draw four card, I'm gonna sneak into your room and slit your throat."
"I don't wanna drink for men."
"We are stressing in Chili's."
"I'm just going to start violently screaming."
"Now you've become a catfish with a cause."
"Blessed be the power of bullshit."
“I love that movie. I’ve seen it one time. I love that movie.”
"Taco Bell could fist me in the ass."
#mine#rp memes#rp sentence meme#rp sentence starters#sentence starters#shit i heard#welcome back to surprise i'm still in college
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※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XV ※
starters from jenna’s 11 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences
MAKING MY DOGS HOMEMADE DOG TREATS
“One of my favorite things about being an adult is having dogs.”
“Hi, welcome to I Feel Guilty.”
“I imagine this might present some problems at some point.”
“The best part about cooking is eating something while you’re cooking.”
“All you have to do is just sit down.”
“I stole all of these recipes straight from Pinterest.”
“I struggle with everything I do.”
“What, is this not entertaining to you?”
“Were you jealous of this the whole time?”
“Wow, finally, some appreciation.”
“So, funny thing, I didn’t read that whole thing.”
“I’ve dirtied a dish that didn’t need to be dirtied.”
“I doubt he’s gonna eat any of this.”
“I slaved over that for hours, what do you mean you’re not gonna try it?”
“See? I told you you were gonna have a good time, you just didn’t believe me.”
“Nobody cares about me or my efforts.”
“All in a day’s work of love.”
“Was it necessary? No.”
“I feel like it’s a nice gesture that says I’m sorry for being busy lately.”
“Now I feel guilty that it’s taken me this long to do this.”
“I’m spiraling into guilt.”
“I’m just trying to make something nice for them and they’re not gonna appreciate it.”
“It’s like I’m getting fucking stabbed.”
“We tried, they hated it.”
“You sat in a chair and you screamed the entire time.”
GIVING MYSELF A LASH PERM
“It looks ridiculous. It looks insane.”
“There’s only eight steps. Seems legit.”
“I literally don’t have any q-tips.”
“I didn’t need that brush at all.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“I want that to be me and I want it now.”
“I didn’t know that it didn’t come with it.”
“Don’t say that kind of thing to me.”
“I had that backwards in my mind.”
“This is, like, truly impossible.”
“I need to look up a YouTube video…”
“It’s gonna be fine, it’s fine, this is fine.”
“I know this doesn’t look like progress, but I think we’ve made progress.”
“Y’all might be laughing now, but y’all are gonna be fucking jealous.”
“This is already an improvement. Sort of.”
“If you’re gonna come in here with your judgement, just know you’re not welcome.”
“My dreams are being crushed right now.”
“This is right. I’ve just gotta keep telling myself that.”
“I’m gonna sit here silently for twelve minutes.”
“Stay with me, I’m scared.”
“I think some of it got in my eye.”
“Are you saying I got got?”
“I’m gonna wait until you’re at your most vulnerable state to get you back for that.”
“I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, but it’s just not working.”
“What, do you think I breathe through my eyes?”
“This one is just so sad…”
“These look nothing like the pictures of people online.”
“Maybe it’s because you blindfolded yourself with plastic.”
“Tell me that it’s a drastic change.”
“My right eye betrayed me, my boyfriend betrayed me.”
“Is this a look that I’m really trying to keep? Not really.”
“Please give me a dramatic response.”
“Now is when I leave.”
“Next time, lock your phone.”
THRIFT STORE ROULETTE
“Did you get my prom stuff here?”
“That’s the rule. I don’t make the rules.”
“They go together like ham and peanut butter.”
“You let me walk into you.”
“I think you’re just making up rules, now.”
“I think it’s a good look.”
“I don’t see what’s wrong.”
“I got a pair of jean overalls, because I’m at that point in my life where those seemed appealing.”
“You look half-superhero, half-going out to shovel your driveway.”
“I’m not going to some kid’s soccer game that isn’t my kids.”
“I feel like stirrups should come back.”
“I like this. This is fun. Everything smells weird, but it’s fun.”
“I look like Dora the Explorer explored a little too far into the garbage.”
“I don’t think those are gonna fit.”
“That is my favorite outfit you’ve ever worn.”
“That is someone’s kink right now.”
“Wearing a hat and a vest doesn’t make you a cop.”
“Why does that look good on you?”
“Do I look like somebody’s mother?”
“Arrest me, space cowboy with no jurisdiction in this area.”
I WANT TO BE A TOOTHBRUSH FOR HALLOWEEN
“I want to be a toothbrush for Halloween.”
“Do you think this is funny?”
“Come this way… psych, we’re going this way.”
“My favorite material to work with is foam.”
“A couple years ago, I was a lion’s Maine… No one understood what it was.”
“I know that straws can be a little problematic.”
“What ever happened to the trick part of trick or treat?”
“You upset everyone…!”
“Sketch me like one of your French boys.”
“Oh, no… it’s too thicc with two Cs.”
“What does it look like, my dream?”
“I’m short as hell, huh?”
“Are you creating a sad portrait of a middle aged lady in her home alone making herself a toothbrush costume? How dare you…!”
“That was my logic, and I have flawless logic.”
“What are you gonna be for real for Halloween, though, Julien, with that mustache and that butt?”
“I need help, I cut myself.”
“Are you calling me a horse…?”
“Hello, do you care? Care about my things…!”
“Stop recording me struggling, record me winning.”
“It’s a lot of math, so I just stopped doing it.”
“I’m excited, I think I’m gonna look real cute. And if I don’t, I’m gonna be pissed.”
MY DOGS TRY ON HALLOWEEN COSTUMES 2
“I wouldn’t say they like it, but I don’t really care.”
“I don’t care about your feelings, you’re gonna look cute, and you’re gonna like it.”
“Wow, high quality, already coming apart.”
“It was a day that we all needed it, it was the day after the presidential election, whatever.”
“It’s like trying to dress a tomato.”
“Are you happy? Are you pleased with yourself?”
“I think you forgot where you were for a majority of that time.”
“It matches your terrifying personality.”
“This is the point of Halloween. You scare other people with your costume, your costume doesn’t scare you.”
“My chair, get out.”
“Don’t repeat that story to anyone.”
“It’s not an elaborate costume, but it sure is something.”
“Wow, are you proud of that?”
“Are you annoyed with me?”
“I only make you do it once a year.”
“You know that you look really handsome.”
“Join us in the present.”
“You’re ruining the picture.”
“You have a sea witch to keep up a bargain with.”
“Wait, that was really sad.”
“This is my favorite thing I own now. It’s a red wig for dogs.”
“It is the best thing I’ve ever spent my money dollars on.”
“This is the best thing ever.”
“Nothing makes me happier than a dog in a wig.”
REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 6
“That’s why you look familiar, you’re the toothbrush girl…!”
“It’s evil. It’s pure evil.”
“I’m not really aware of how much noise I make.”
“Tell me that’s not the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen.”
“What are you even saying?”
“To think that I was alone in the house with that for hours…”
“He’s alone with his hot girlfriend.”
“Every week, you are on a different planet.”
“I just have a lot of goals.”
“Why is that not a valid goal?”
“What the fuck is on my face?”
“This is me having a good time.”
“Do I have a problem with singing Disney songs?”
“You’re just waiting to make some joke.”
“It’s Halloween, I’m trying to get scared.”
“My hands are not sweaty… oh, they’re very sweaty.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening…!”
LET’S ACRYLIC POUR
“Oil paint is not the paint for me.”
“I can’t really draw or paint or think in general.”
“Did you just eat that?”
“You’re not allowed anywhere near the paint.”
“I’m really excited for that.”
“I know that there’s no rules.”
“I’m really overwhelmed by choices.”
“My inspiration is the colors blue and yellow.”
“Am I ruining it? Did I ruin it?”
“Why are you covered in paint?”
“You need no skills, though.”
“Do I have a hard time following directions?”
“I call this one Hellscape.”
“I can’t tell if I like this or not.”
“You don’t keep acrylic paintings, you throw them out and you burn them.”
“Is that what art is like?”
“This would be fun to do drunk.”
“It feels terrible, but also great at the same time.”
“It’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows: the high of doing it, and the low of actually looking at it.”
GIVING MYSELF A BEARD
“I just would really enjoy some actual facial hair.”
“Am I the only person that just desperately wants a beard?”
“I wanna put this on, and that’s it.”
“I can’t be alone. There has to be more of us out there.”
“It’s creepy because you’re making it creepy.”
“Who are the people that make these?”
“I didn’t ask for that, for sure.”
“I need to do whatever the fuck I want.”
“You look like an extra on Westworld.”
“Look how much better my life is.”
“Why is growing a beard exclusive content?”
“I wanna live like this.”
“I don’t know why, but now I have a Southern accent.”
“I adore wearing this, I wanna wear this all the time.”
“You’re just so supportive of me, all the time.”
“Boy, you thought this was over.”
COOKING THANKSGIVING FOOD
“The fatigue of just being alive is really starting to set in.”
“It’s a lot to ever expect anyone to cook anything for us.”
“We basically stress cook every Thanksgiving on the day.”
“We’re cooking only the necessary stuff, which is carbs, and carbs, carbs, carbs, and more carbs.”
“It’s so much work for such a mediocre product it’s not even worth it.”
“I’m never peeling another potato again.”
“I’m not complaining, I know you guys all have jobs and lives and it’s hard sometimes to just cook things because you just want it to be cooked so you can eat it…!”
“We can do it, we can make it, if you let me do everything.”
“Let me get full control, first.”
“What am I gonna do? Spend seven hours slicing apples?”
“I have a too much gene…”
“Now is when I just panic about everything for no reason.”
“Why don’t you just lick the counter?”
“It’s not bread, though, they’re bagels…!”
“It’s beginning to look a lot like a lot of work…!”
“I fucking love aprons.”
“It’s a savory Gatorade.”
“Who’s ever mad at spicy fried chicken? Not me.”
“This is the only thing I care about: whole cranberry sauce.”
“That shouldn’t be allowed. That shouldn’t be allowed.”
“This is a lot of work and effort and years of trial and error.”
“I have a sensitive mouth…!”
CUTTING SOAP FOR MY DOG WHILE HE WEARS A TURTLENECK
“He’s putting up with me for right now.”
“You look so nice in your turtleneck.”
“He’s not impressed.”
“Am I doing this right?”
“I think he hates it.”
“We could do this for hours.”
“Some people find this to be relaxing, you know.”
“Look at my dog, he’s wearing a turtleneck and glasses.”
“Well, that was rude.”
“This is getting weird…!”
“We’ve gotten over this ‘I’m ashamed of my fetish’ thing.”
“That’s not food, it’s soap…!”
“This is all too much for him.”
“You’re gonna get banned.”
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“Well… that was that.”
TRYING TO SEE THINGS WITHOUT MY GLASSES
“I don’t enjoy wearing glasses.”
“We’ve lived together for, what, six, seven years?”
“I literally just want to sit here and see how useless I would be in an apocalypse scenario.”
“You’re off to just a really, really horrible and unpromising start.”
“This is so terrible.”
“This is not a good idea.”
“That’s not a good guess…?”
“What about a tuxedo looks like a matador cape?”
“Are you just showing me pictures of you?”
“Did you set me up?”
“Don’t tell Shane that I thought he was Bob from Bob’s Burgers.”
“You said that, I didn’t say that.”
“Every time, I feel like you’re judging me.”
“I’m gonna get in so much trouble.”
“I’m not completely useless if I don’t have glasses or contacts, but I’m almost useless.”
“It’s funny because you were born with perfect vision and you just wake up every day and can see clearly.”
“I can tell the difference between Anne Hathaway, Sandra Bullock, and Julia Roberts.”
“You tried your best, and you didn’t succeed.”
“I have perfect pitch.”
“I don’t even know if that’s right.”
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※ CODY KO - “5 MINUTE BEAUTY HACKS” ※
starters from cody’s video 5 minute beauty hacks ! feel free to change things!
“Welcome back to me going insane for 15 minutes straight.”
“Fuck it, here’s tip number one: good ass clothes.”
“Look at this shit. How cool is this?”
“You can wear this anywhere. Bar mitzvahs. Bat mitzvahs. Normal bars. Normal bats.”
“I’m gonna throw on some pants, and then we’ll get started.”
“I guess you’re supposed to brush your teeth with hot glue.”
“You put your mouth in a shot glass and you just suck.”
“What are these? Are these just for tiny hipsters?”
“Turns out I actually do have shot glasses, ladies and gentlemen, and, not proud to admit this, but they are minion themed.”
“What’s cool is that you get this big red ring around your mouth.”
“If you wanna do this along with me, go ahead.”
“It’s so cold…! Why is it so cold??”
“I went ahead and I bought a whole fuckton of colors of eyeshadow here, so we have a lot to… a lot of options.”
“I’m drunk already.”
“It looks like I got fucking… punched in the face.”
“Just like that, you get that nice, subtle… chicken pox effect.”
“Is that something that people are concerned about? Having too pale of lips?”
“Just spray tan those little bitches.”
“It hurts. It’s like… fucking…. burning my lips.”
“All I have is eyeshadow, so I’m just gonna use eyeshadow for… all of this.”
“Can’t wait to get makeup all over my perfectly good sunglasses.”
“It’s like a… green, which I hear is great to contour your nose with.”
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying.”
“These are getting fucking absurd.”
“They’re fucking with us, now.”
“My hair has been feeling kinda dry, recently.”
“That went all over my computer.”
“I’m feeling prettier by the minute.”
“You’re telling me that you can put jello on your face for five seconds and it not only makes you look better, but it puts your makeup on for you?”
“I feel like cherry is a pretty good alternative.”
“I hate this. Why do I do this?”
“Wow. I already feel it starting to work.”
“My face feels colder, all of a sudden. Probably because this is freezing fucking cold.”
“I feel awake, I feel like my hair is moisturized, I feel like my lips aren’t pale anymore.”
“When you’re in a pinch and you need a makeup brush so you have to cut off a giant chunk of your hair to make one.”
“I’m sure the cons of cutting off your hair probably outweigh the cons of not having any makeup on.”
“You didn’t think I was actually gonna cut my hair, did you? Nah, I am.”
“We’re gonna use this as forehead shadow.”
“I feel fucking good. I’m going out.”
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Thank you to the Anon who defined Nightcore better,I do know it's not a band but it's just easier to say that for the sake of Youtube searching and stuff. But like I said,thank you. The song I'm actually referring to is Karma by the artist known as ALMA.
thank you for clarifying, friend! back into the nightcore youtube hole i went, and here you go!
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