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#I kept forgetting it was aro week
puddleslimewrites · 1 year
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Partners
The silence dragged on for longer than Villain liked. "So..."
Hero looked up, Villain's voice pulling them out of their thoughts.
"What do you think?"
Hero frowned a little. It wasn't that they didn't like the idea. "You'd really want to be my partner?"
"Yes."
"Without dating."
"Yes."
"But..." Hero seemed to be struggling with this. "Why?"
Villain huffed. "Because I like you? Because I want to spend time with you, regardless of if we hold hands or kiss or whatever else it is 'conventional' couples do?"
Villain stepped closer, taking Hero's gloved hands in their own. "You don't have to be in love to have a partner, Hero. You just need to have love."
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dianneking · 2 months
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On The Seashore (Brienne x Reader)
Hi all! For my weekly fic challenge, @scream-queenlover suggested this prompt (#2584) @promptsforthestrugglingauthor :
"I'm tired of adventures. How about we just get married and stay home?" "I'm sorry…did you just fucking propose?”
You and Brienne have been adventuring together for years, and while you enjoy the friendship and camaraderie that the two of you share, you can't help but wish for more, maybe…but is it in the cards?
Tags: Brienne x Reader, AU - Canon Divergence, Swearing, Brienne is an adventurer, Aroace spectrum, Brienne is on the aroace spectrum,  Friendly Banter, Dialogue-Heavy, Queerplatonic Vibes, Second Person POV, Reader is a woman.
I am not sure how it turned into a queerplatonic fic with a Brienne on the aro/ace spectrum but hey, happy belated aro/ace week. Link to AO3 in the title below:
On The Seashore
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“I swear, if I have to shake sand from my boots one more time, I'll snap.” You grumbled, pulling once again your weathered traveling boots on your feet. 
“Might I remind you that getting this close to the coastline was your idea, milady?” 
“Brienne, it's been three years we're on the road together, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me by my name?” 
You could see her lips slightly tilting upwards and you knew her dry wit was about to come out to play once more.
“One more time, milady.”
You snorted. “One more time, my ass. I haven't been a lady since we took to the road. Just a common adventurer, that's all.”
“There's absolutely nothing common about you, milady, and if anyone dares to even imply anything of the sort, I'd be ready to duel them.” 
“Yeah we've learned that in Sandstone with that one guy who was a little bit too friendly…”
“He grabbed your arm!” 
“I know but we were trying to keep a low profile and you beating him up didn't really…”
“He insulted your honor! And mine too!”
You sighed. “Yes I know. Let's try not to beat anyone up in this village though. I'd like to lay low for a while.” 
“Well we still have half a day of walking in front of us before we get there, that is, if Your Grace doesn't keep stopping every ten minutes to shake sand off your precious feet.”
“Well excuse me for not wanting the whole beach in my boots.” 
The two of you kept going towards the village, bickering as you had become accustomed to over the time spent together. 
“This must be heaven!” You kicked your feet up, forgetting your previous adversity for the sand, your boots next to your wicker seat in the cool shade of the palm trees. 
“You have pretty low standards for the afterlife, milady, if all you require is a seat in the shade.” 
“Brienne! Was your mission successful?” 
You looked up at her silhouette, the sun behind her transforming her short hair in a golden halo. She looked even more like a goddess than usual.
“I have drinks and I have work opportunities so yes, I'd say my mission was indeed successful. And no duels yet, so you can rest easily.”
She handed you a tankard, keeping the second one in her hand. 
You lost no time chugging down the first half in a long sip.
“Ahhhhhh now that's something that was sorely missing in my heaven. A drink! I could kiss you right now, Brienne!”
She did not reply, taking a sip of her own tankard, but as she sat down in the wicker chair next to your own, you noticed her ears were slightly pinker. How had she managed to get sunburned in such a short time? Oh well, she was very fair-skinned so it probably took very little. That might be why she always had her hood or her helmet on most days. But the Dornian heat and the quiet reputation of this village had convinced even the uptight Brienne of Tarth to lighten her kit. 
“So you were talking about work?” 
She swallowed her drink and replied, her voice uncharacteristically flustered:
“Yes. Hmm, well, they're looking for night guards for their granary. They've had quite the bountiful harvest and they want to keep it safe until the village fair.”
“Are there actual threats to the granary?” 
“Not really. Seems to be mostly a precaution.”
“So a cushy gig. How's the pay?” 
“Not great, but they'd let us stay here at this cottage on the beach for free and add one golden coin each per week.”
“Sunshine, the seaside, free lodging and decent pay? Sign me up for life!”
“What about your beloved adventures? What about being a free spirit and roaming the world?”
"I'm tired of adventures. How about we just get married and stay here?"
The silence that followed alerted you that something was wrong. You turned to your companion.
“Brienne?”
She was looking at you as if you had sprouted a second head. 
"I'm sorry...did you just fucking propose?”
Woah. Brienne of Tarth, swearing? That was almost unheard of from your very proper companion, and only in very serious situations. 
Not that you’d mind. Marrying her, that is. Quite the contrary. The past three years had easily been the happiest of your life, and you knew it had to do with her. Her constant presence by your side, her dry humor, her unwavering support and loyalty…she had become a column you hadn’t even realized how much you were leaning against until you took a step back and allowed yourself to admire her. And she was beautiful. Gods, was she beautiful. 
You set your tankard down beside your chair, and turned to her, lifting your chin, fixing your eyes in hers with equal parts trepidation and boldness. 
“What if I did?” 
“This is not a subject for jesting, milady!”
“Who said I was jesting? And for all the Gods, stop calling me milady like I am some sort of court princess.”
“But you cannot...We wouldn’t…We’re two women!” 
“Believe me, I noticed.” You smirked up at her, letting your eyes roam her tall figure, allowing her to see the appreciation in your eyes. She spluttered, her face turning a bright red that had no correlation with her previous sun exposure. (Had her reddened ears from before also been…oh. Well. Who’d have known. You might even have a chance then.)
“Milady! I…That’s not appropriate! The law doesn’t-”
“Brienne. For once, this is not about the law, religion, traditions, nor customs.” You stood up, and placed your hands on the armrests of her seat, boxing her in. Tall as she was, her head was level with yours. You had never been so close to her. You could see beads of perspiration crowning her forehead, you could drown in the blueness of her eyes, wide open in shock, both at your boldness and at your closeness.
She hadn’t pushed you away though. That had to count for something.
“Brienne?”
“Y-yes?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper, hesitant and softer than you’d ever heard before. This was not Brienne the warrior speaking. She was Brienne the woman. 
The woman you’d fallen for. 
“I am going to tell you something. You just say the word, and we won’t have to talk about this again. We’ll go back to our adventuring as it was before and nothing will have changed. But I don’t want you to think this is some sort of joke. I am serious.”
She nodded, and you could see her lower lip quivering slightly, and her eyes widening even more. 
“There’s nobody else in the whole world I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Nobody else I would gladly take an arrow for, nobody else I want to guard my back as I guard theirs. If there’s anything that the past three years have taught me is that my days of lonely wandering are done, as long as I can have you by my side. Would…would you consider becoming more than just traveling companions?”
She bit her lip, and let her gaze drop to her knees, as if unable to look you in the eyes anymore.
Oh. 
The silence stretched for what felt like ages. The usually pleasant sounds of waves crashing against the seashore and seagulls crying out to each other felt like a dissonant song to your ears, when all you wanted to hear was her voice.
But you guessed her silence was telling you all there was to know. 
“Very well.” You tried to keep the disappointment out of your voice as you straightened up, hands detaching from the wicker armrests, setting your companion free once again. “I’ll just… go check the water’s temperature. Be back in a bit.” 
You almost scoffed at yourself. Sure. Check the water temperature. Like you gave a damn about the ocean right now. It could all dry up for all you cared. 
You resisted the urge to kick at the sand in anger and frustration though. Mainly because you knew Brienne could be watching you, and you wanted to keep what little decorum you could. How could you be so stupid? To think that she might return your feelings, that you might have a chance with her. Ha. Clearly the blazing sun of Dorne had burnt off your common sense. 
You let the cool seawater lap at your bare feet, forcing yourself to look at the horizon and take a deep breath of salty breeze. 
It was okay. You’d gone through heartbreak before. You’d move on. 
Another deep intake of breath.
You would not allow those tears that you felt prickling at your eyelids to fall. You were a grown woman. An adventurer. Not a silly girl with a crush. 
A third breath. You closed your eyes, focusing on the sounds of seagulls, trying to shove all the feelings back in the little blackened and beaten container you called heart. 
“Nobody has ever told me that.”
“HOLY SH- Brienne, you almost gave me a heart attack!” You twirled towards her, a hand on your chest as you tried to get your breathing back in control. How a woman of her size had managed to sneak behind you without you noticing was a testament both to her athleticism and to how out of it you were.
She pinned you with her gaze, hard and unflinching. The soft, blushing Brienne was gone. This was Brienne the warrior, once again. You realized you had fallen for her, too. 
“Nobody has ever…wanted me.” She said that as if it was part question, part accusation. You didn’t know what to make of it. You shrugged.
“Well, apparently they’re all dumb as rocks and with no functioning eyes.”
She snorted. An inelegant sound that you found as endearing as the rest of her. 
“Seriously, Brienne. You probably have a lot of people that admire you from afar. I’m just the one with the least amount of self-preservation instincts of them all.”
“You seem to have been doing pretty well so far.”
“Well, if you don’t smite me for daring to punch above my weight, I should live to see another day!” You smiled up at her, cheekily, trying to lighten up the mood. You weren’t going to give up on the friendship and camaraderie you two had built together just because your advances had been turned down. A fool, you might be, but not an utter imbecile. 
You could see her lips pull up at the corners in a tiny but unmistakable smile at your antics.
“There it is! The smile of mercy! I shall live somewhat longer! Yay!”
She shook her head and gave you a small shove, almost throwing you completely off-balance. 
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I’ll take impossible as a title over milady anytime, so yep, that’s who I am! Also, please don’t throw me into the ocean, I can’t swim.”
“You can’t?”
“Nope! I’m a land rat, not a sea rat. Can you?”
“Of course! Everyone on Tarth learns how to.”
“Well, you’ll have to teach me at some point, but throwing me in is not how I’d like to go about it, thank you very much.”
Her hand landed on your shoulder, gripping it strongly, and you looked up to see that the smile had gone, and her expression was now closed off, and serious. 
“I…wouldn’t be opposed to it.” She ground out, as if it was physically difficult for her to even say it. 
“To teaching me how to swim?”
“No, to a… relationship. I…I like to spend time with you.” She looked like she was telling the truth but also like she was extremely uncomfortable doing so. You felt your heart break again, this time for her.
“As do I, but we can still have that. This is not an ultimatum, Brienne, I would never put you in that position.” Just the thought she would be willing to start a relationship she clearly wasn’t keen on not to lose your company was…both horrifying and heartwarming, to be honest. 
“It’s not that. I…I am not good with…romance. It doesn’t come as easy to me as it seems to be for other people. I don’t know how to go about it.”
You put your own hand on top of hers, on your shoulder, trying to find the right words.
“Hey. There is no right or wrong way. And there is no hurry. We can give it a try and see where it goes. If not, we’ll just be good friends that adventure together, alright?”
She seemed to ponder this, her eyes on your hand covering her own. You gave her the time to do so. 
“I would like that.”
You smiled tenderly up at her. This was so hard for her, always used to be the paradigm of perfection, of valor, of morals. The fact that she was able to challenge herself enough to go out on a limb with a relationship for you, of all people, made your heart skip a beat in your chest. 
“We will take things as slowly as you’d like, and you feel free to tell me at any time if you’re uncomfortable, okay?”
You could see the tension leave her eyes, and her face opened up in a hopeful smile. 
“You’d do that…for me?”
“But of course! We have all the time in the world, milady!” You smirked, throwing the title back at her and seeing her resigned grimace at the nickname.
“No more miladys, alright?” 
“That’s what I’ve been saying for years! Now. That drink is getting warm and that’s not something we can allow. Shall we?”
You gallantly offered her your hand to hold in a very bad imitation of a nobleman asking a woman at court to dance.  She shook her head, but accepted your hand, and you both turned your back to the sun, looking at your conjoined shadows on the sand in front of you with a look of incredulous joy on both of your faces. 
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once-was-muses · 4 months
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[ I don't know how to the preface this otherwise, but in the hopes of not getting more anonymous questions about my recent hiatus and the personal issues that lead to it I'll leave a list for the asker(s) to read at their leisire. I will only mention the things I'm comfortable and willing to, and- unless something in regards to both the situation and my own feelings change- I will not be addressing any part of it publicly in any way going forward. ]
[ No one has any obligation to pity me or even read this. I don’t know what to tag this as- it doesn't really contain any of the typical triggers- so please exercise caution if you decide to read anyhow. Readmore-ed for the sake of not taking up too much of the dash. I am going to be inactive for a few hours at least as this was difficult to type out, but I'm fine and I will be fine- I know saying "don't worry" doesn't necessarily stop anxiety, but I will reassure as such anyhow. ]
I have memory issues. Part of them is definitely due to ADHD, but it doesn't seem like that's the only cause. Whatever the whole problem is, my memory started failing more and more towards the middle of last year, seeming the worst I could remember them being in November-early December. Obviously since I have memory issues, I can't say for certain that they had actually reached the worst they'd been as I have no solid recollections to compare with. This point lead to, or exacerbated a few others on this list.
Towards the beginning of last year I think it was, my suspicions of being aromantic reached a peak and I decided to try the label on. I was in a relationship at the time, and I was transparent about it with my then-partner (still tied as best friend with the members of our mutual real life friend group.) I told him I fully understood if he wanted a mutually romantic partner, and a few days later he told me he did and we returned to just friends. Months later, I'm having doubts about being aro again; I think what I experience is a mixture of my autism and personal problems with romance that I need to unpack on my own. What upsets me most about this point is that I seem incapable of starting that conversation with him as I feel he deserves out of respect, and it feels like I'm disrespecting him furthermore by being afraid when he's done nothing to justify that in the almost 10 years I've known him.
Related to the above point; when I told another friend outside of Tumblr and real life circles that I think I might be aromantic, I discovered firsthand that they're aphobic. For over five years now, I never knew them to be bigoted in any way. Obviously I've cut all ties with them.
Both my mother and grandfather have had multiple health scares last year- some were preexisting for my grandfather, but the three with my mother are all very new. All are being treated and handled well, but that won't stop my anxiety from trying to convince me otherwise.
During that aforementioned November-December period, I was extremely paranoid of forgetting things and kept feeling like I'd forgotten something important I'd promised to do for someone. To my knowledge, I hadn't, but I was thoroughly convinced.
Worth mentioning as a preface for this point that I rarely remember my dreams, and have some kind of disorder that effects my ability to reach REM sleep in the first place. Also during that period, I had a number of vivid but realistic nightmares that I couldn't remember were only nightmares. I hesitate in fear of sounding overdramatic, but for a couple weeks I more or less had false memories. I still can't place if some things did actually happen. This has happened before, but I've always been able to dismiss things as dreams before.
Once more during this period, I had managed to forget the identities of some individuals in part responsible for some actually substantial drama (meaning beyond the typical petty things most see), also involving two now former friends. I made another mistake in panicking when confronted with screenshots I wasn't in of a server neither of them were in and reacted closed off and reluctant to share any information one way or the other. I absolutely will not be divulging anything about the pair. Regardless of my feelings or want to apologize, I respect that I hurt them and their desire not to speak with me anymore- and especially their privacy.
I have been stalked out of a different rpc years before I entered this one. A member of that community that assisted in stalking me reached out around the same time as the above point. This is small and it's stupid that it had the effect on me that it did, but I figure it's related and thus worth mentioning.
Several of my co-workers left last year, revealing some not great practices going on behind the scenes of what is essentially my ideal job and one I wanted since I was a kid. I still have the job, and while I haven't experienced any of the issues firsthand to my knowledge- none were extreme or too bad, but the fact anyone was mistreated upsets me- I still feel guilty occasionally for not only keeping the position but enjoying it. I can't remember exactly what some of the mistreatments were, either, which makes me feel all the more guilty.
One of our regulars at my job died in the building last year. I didn't know of the fact until the next day despite interacting with that regular at least three times I can remember the day they died. There have also been a number of emergencies regarding patrons in a comparatively short span of time this last month. I am incapable of worrying about myself, and thus my anxiety has latched onto the wellbeing of my coworkers.
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hungryslothwrites · 21 days
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(squints in viewing ao3 stat posts) why do i have the tag hazbin hotel blocked -
(sudden moment of absolute clarity) OH i was scrolling through the aro tags for arospec awareness week and kept getting very long posts about fandom drama. got it
(forgets to unblock tag)
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griancraft · 11 months
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can you share a bit about that oc?
HIII THANKS FOR ASKING!!! There is actually like. 4 of them.
I am so sorry this is so long, dear god it is so long. I also apologize for how disorganized this is omg
T is a character that is infected with a type of yeast that makes it possible to “escape death” via replacing cells at a faster rate. This doesn’t affect brain cells, only slowing down the rate at which the cells die. This leaves empty cells in the brain that don’t reallly have the capacity to learn new things permanently or remember anything. This only causes issues after a longgg time. Meaning someone infected with the yeast slowly looses their capacity to function. Destruction of any part of the brain that would kill a regular person also kills an infected person. Sort of like a zombie that slowly looses themselves over time.
T is the adoptive son of this other character who had been infected by that yeast for over 500 years. T is a quarter East Asian, with short black hair and dark brown eyes. He is gay and mayyyybe trans I forget.
T’s adoptive father is named Michel Hobbs, and he worked as a field scientist with the Canadian governments secret military that investigated monsters and aliens and shit. They were looking into tremors under a remote area in the Yukon when they find a massive dying creature. A leviathan. The leviathan thrashes around as it withers in pain and it knocks Michel off of a ledge and into a bubbling pit of water. By the time the team retrieves him it’s too late. Michel is “dead”. The team leave the cave and seal it off, deeming it too dangerous to explore further. They have to sit in the belly Fo a plane with their dead friend as they fly back to base.
A week later, after Michel has been buried for a few days, he digs his way up. He has maggots in his skin and can barely breathe. The government scoops him up and runs test, unable to find out why he’s alive. Deciding he is an asset, they put him right back where he came from.
Michel Hobbs is a light skinned half East Asian man raised by two mothers with his brother on Cape Breton island, Nova Scotia. He has a PhD in microbiology and is a massive advocate for conservation of large marine animals. He is ace/aro and gay.
The second really important character in this is his husband. William Winters is a black man who is a general in that super secret sci-fi Canadian military thing. He has a BA in history. He had a wife and 2 kids, but his wife divorced him and left him with the kids once Michel died and William is left dealing with a lot of complex feelings and. Pretty bad trauma after watching his best friend die. His ex wife isn’t framed as in the wrong per-say? She has her reasons and while they aren’t entirely moral they end up being on decent terms years later. William raises his kids and does his best for a long time. He finds out the Michel IS alive and after a lot of distress they end up together after another year and a half of working together. They end up getting married at 37/39 and live the rest of their days in happiness until William dies from cancer at 94. Michel is there for his children’s children’s children until he leaves for good, unable to watch more people he loves die.
Michel lives, and after a catastrophic event decimates the world about 50 years later, a federation of aliens step in to help.
See, worlds are kept alive by the presence of god like entities called “leviathan” there are two per world on a healthy planet and they reproduce to spread life to the universe. They are partially responsible for aliens and humans having significant similarities and being able to like. Have kids and stuff. They have been in the universe since before the Big Bang and are theorized to have been from a universe BEFORE the Big Bang. Their blood holds the key to all life.
Earth killed one of its leviathan via pollution and environmental degradation, so now the human home world is a massive city sitting upon barren rock. They farm in massive buildings and the world is rife with exploitation and poverty.
This is even after the aliens help, corruption runs in deep in the universe. Humans were on the cusp of inventing safe and light speed space travel and after help from the many alien species are able to traverse among the stars, seeking resources to collect and planets to explore.
Space travel is controlled heavily by the government, which leads to pirates and bounty hunters becoming a vital part of how lower class beings survive. The government turns a blind eye most of the time, it gives them less responsibility over the under privileged.
Before the world died, Michel had collected DNA from as many creatures as he could. Paranoia is part of the reason he is so successful honestly lol. He had used his now vast amount of wealth to purchase a dead planet to repopulate with the cloned species he created. Using alien technology and his knowledge gained from his job he is able to populate the world with a large majority of earths former fauna. It becomes a garden of eden, and he is the god that looks over it. 200 years pass.
T is the son of an upper class family, and after he gets killed and comes back while exploring pipes below the world the government just dumps him with Michel. T has never seen any animal that isn’t domesticated, so upon being picked up and taken to the new earth he is amazed.
Years pass, T grows into a teenager. Michel buys him an alien creature that is also functionally immortal, aware of how lonely the world can become. Michel is. Not the greatest father? He is very hands off. Therefore T becomes VERY overconfident and does not care when he gets hurt because he can “just heal”. Michel at that point is loosing his memory, and spends days looking over his old journals in a feverish attempt to remember his husband and family. He is not a good father, and not a good person to be around. The world is alive around him and the one leviathan left threatens Michel with a fate worse then death if he doesn’t maintain it. Michel does nothing more than work on maintaining the planet and re reading his journals. Stuck in a near endless cycle year after year.
T, not liking the lack of attention and paranoia of his fathers steals Michels old shuttlecraft and leaves to explore the universe. Stumbling into situations and getting himself out with luck, rapid healing, and guns. He eventually becomes a bounty hunter!
In this universe, humans are seen how we see pigeons. Cute yes, but dumb and generally incapable. This is blatantly wrong but leads to pretty bad treatment of humans. A war breaks out between two sides of the federation, one side believes that “lesser beings” like humans should not be afforded the same rights as others, and the other is like “no what the hell is wrong with you??”.
This war goes on for decades, and many alien settlements (including human ones as well) are razed to the ground and their inhabitants taken to work in factories or as prisoners. Obviously, many of the people in the “lesser beings don’t matter” planets do not believe this and either leave or fight on planet to stop the atrocities. This conflict is like. Pretty black and white lol.
T often has a lot of trouble beating the stereotype of being weak, and even more so when he is assigned by the mob boss he owes to work with an alien from a species that very much believes humans are lesser. This alien is named Sol. Sol fully believes in the stereotypes until T proves him wrong.
They become tentative friends at that point. They do the job, and upon discovering the mob boss paired the two together to kill T, they kill the mob boss. They continue to work together and use their unconventional team to play both sides of the war, freeing humans and other aliens as well as pretending one or the other is captured to get past enemy lines. They eventually end up being gay 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 wooooo. The alien species lives close to a thousand years, so they don’t have to worry about loosing each other any time soon.
In this universe, soulmates meet each other and die within the same time frame. Michel and William were soulmates, and due to Michel not dying William is reborn again and again and again. Never quite coming close to meeting Michel again. (t and sol are also soulmates, technically.)
Until the newest iteration of William’s city is destroyed by the military and his family killed in front of him. Prior to this, he was a math teacher in one of the schools in the city. He joins up with the military and becomes a pilot. In a firefight above the solar system Michel is in, his shuttle is shot down and he crash lands on the planet. He is the only one of his squadron to survive.
Upon opening his cockpit, he comes face to face with Michel.
Williams is identical to the Williams Michel once new, hundreds of years ago. And it’s frightening for Michel! So he feeds him and clothes him and lets him stay in Ts old cabin. He barely interacts with him, afraid of the ghost of a man he once loved.
William is enamoured by Michel, and follows him like a lost puppy much to Michel’s dismay. He uses skills he learned in the military to track him and stick close. Michel has to save him from predators multiple times and eventually has to get the man to stick with him. He still keeps him at an arms length, afraid of falling for him. Michel doesn’t want to like. Take advantage of the guy, Yknow?
William finds one of Michels old journals, and finds a picture of the im first iteration of him with Michel and their kids. He shows it to Michel and demands he explain. Michel explains to the best of his ability, it’s the most William has heard him talk since they met. William hugs Michel, and it’s the first time in many years he has been hugged.
They stay friends for awhile, and eventually are sort of in a QPR? It’s a strange situation, and neither of them really know what to do. They are just happy to be close. They are happy to not be alone and they are happy to have found some semblance of peace.
Anddddd that’s all I ever had in my little noggin!!!! It was so fun writing this out again, I missed this universe and these characters so much.
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spacedykez · 2 years
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what’s your favorite song(s)?
figosh. okay. well first off that answer changes every two weeks but if i had to answer:
never been in love by will jay. aro anthem. i love it so much.
better than one by the score. i also just like the score in general. this clashes greatly with never been in love but i feel like this is a very Duo song and it works platonically. (a/n: it’s not on spotify/apple music, only youtube)
monody by TheFatRat. it’s such a mood and it’s so perfect for getting lost in fantasies. i put it on loop for an hour and come out of hyperfocus with ten new ideas or another few hundred words written easily. it’s a perfect fantasy vibe. also it reminds me of httyd.
burn the house down, come hang out, and i’m not famous by ajr. nothing to say i just like the songs.
Ready As I’ll Ever Be from Tangled. another fic song. like. this song literally sent me on a weeklong tangled the series rabbithole dive (read: I watched the episodes with varian in them and binged fanfic til 2 am)
you’re welcome from moana for the lols because i know all the words just because moana was my favorite movie when i was younger and i kept thinking of it every time somebody said you’re welcome to the point where my friends and i all know the words and i cannot forget them. 
how bad can i be from the lorax, shiny from moana, and be prepared from the lion king because i am a sucker for villain songs. no these are not the best villain songs but they are disney villain songs and therefore i have known them for years and they are special. 
finally, gosh i cannot pick a favorite but i love owl city. i guess if i had to choose one i’d go with embers, gold, or fireflies- SEE I CAN’T PICK. 
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aguirrenance99 · 21 days
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Things Think About Before You Are Renting A Car
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estrxlar · 2 years
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The Ghost Of You
25 - Connection
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This chapters songs:
Cherry-coloured Funk; Cocteau Twins
Infrunami; Steve Lacy
Exit Music (for a film); Radiohead
- Y.L. Perspective
"I'm distraught, Y/n." Toruku comments, holding a piece of paper more textured than his fingerprints. His hand holds up his head and his eyes stare straight at the end of the paper.
I stand in front of his seated proportion, clammy hands holding each other in fear of disapproval. "Is it okay?" I ask the guy.
He looks up at me in shock I would ever ask him such a question, saying, "good?! I'm about to cry,
Y/n. We've gotta show this to someone... this will get us much farther than what we can achieve."
"Toruku, no. These are the first lyrics I've ever genuinely put my time and effort into. I'd like it if we kept these to use for the Summer's Amp Festival. That way if we find they do take us somewhere, we can begin to focus more on what achieves success for our band!" I explain to him, taking up the paper into my hands. "Please, it has deep meaning and symbolism I'm not even sure I understand myself."
Toruku rolls his eyes, stretching as for back in his chair as possible. We were in the middle of the music room on a Wednesday afternoon waiting for the arrival of our former bandmates Hikishi and Goku. "Fine, you wuss, but you know that this can take us somewhere."
I scan the paper, truly proud of myself for putting words together for what I truly felt. Not only about how looked at relationships, but the root meaning of Koshi and I; we'd never be together in the end. It sickened me to think of it, but if I brushed it off as if it wasn't real, all stress was wiped away. During writing these lyrics, I let go of that and committed to my gut emotions, letting them spill out through ink and a piece of paper from my calculus notebook.
A knock came upon the door, revealing both of the people we'd been waiting for.
"Hey, what's up?" Asks Giki, walking up to me and capturing my lyrics in a split second. When I try arguing to take them back from her, she wrestles me and hands it to Hikishi.
"Finished lyrics? Already? It's been, what, two weeks?" He began reading, focusing mainly on every word and the meaning behind it.
A couple of minutes went by with the repetition of my trying to take back the paper and Giki easily holding me back thanks to her freakishly strong arms. Every once in a while, both of them would raise their brows or whine with sorrow. Once they finished, they looked at me in disbelief.
"What? You guys are acting like I'm Jesus giving Christians the meaning of life," I say, finally retrieving what I'd been after.
I'd never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't forget her
But she could.
There were only so many ways that I was able to compose phrases that were associated with the destination of Koshi and I's relationship; might as well make an effort and achieve something favorable out of it. Carefully folding the paper and squeezing it into my pocket, I say "I'll make a couple of copies and send them out to you all after I've made revisions. If all of you are not to let anybody know that I've materialized a root song for us to work with here on forward, then I'll have the final draft by Sunday."
My partners glow in unison and clench their hands together in enthusiasm. As much as they irritated me with their impatience with me, I was more than grateful they opened their arms to my lyrics. It took a long time to put together a rough outline, so their approval meant the world to me.
Ever since we had come back from the training camp, I'd been more than enjoying myself. Every day was crammed with band rehearsals, volleyball practice, and drives home and back with my boyfriend. Everyone in my friend group had been concentrating mainly on music and mental health, the most significant things in our lives. The boys were focused on improving what they could with their stamina and gradually became a close group. Each one of them figured out ways to be around each other without any arguing (at least not too much) and learn to collaborate. The spring tournament was coming up, and competing with teams we weren't completely familiar with could be potential death for our reputation. That is why all week the boys have been accepting plenty of lessons from the guy who said he would assist us with a single match, Coach Ukai.
So far, things have been going smoothly for my band and me. We spent most of our days coming up with new rhythms and chords that could help us make a song for the Summer's Amp Festival. Being best friends with each other was to our advantage and we didn't argue head-on about stupid shit bands would. With late dinners spent talking and writing music, my life felt better than ever— especially since I had a wonderful boy who supported me through it all— Koshi.
Although he didn't admit it, I knew Koshi was struggling in volleyball. Mr. Sugawara never gave his son empathy and it seemed their family was having issues with Isao getting himself into trouble of all sorts. Life was stressful for him, so I made my best efforts to try and comfort him in all ways I could. I packed him bags of snacks with letters in them for him to find in his bag during school, helped him organize a time to help his teammates and take care of himself, and continued to be his girlfriend.
With that, I felt great about my current situation.
Excitement fulfilled my everyday life, keeping me busy.
"I should go. I have to meet Koshi before volleyball practice starts," I say, grabbing my book bag and stuffing my papers into it without any trace of thought.
-
After getting dressed and meeting Kiyoko in the field outside of the gym, we gather inside along with the rest of the team. Ukai calls for us to sit down in front of him, for he had a long talk to put us through. June 2nd was the exact date for the preliminaries to begin. Everyone had one goal in mind; to climb to the very top.
"Alright everyone, gather around please." Ukai sits on a stool in front of me and plenty of other members of the team intently waiting for his messages. "There is no regional prelim, so it's going to be straight to prefectural or nothing. Out of 60 teams or so, only one of them gets to advance to nationals. Got that?"
Tanaka and Noya nod, confident they'll soon be cheering in victory. As for Hinata, he couldn't be more impatient to go against Nekoma again. Ukai turns everyone's attention back to him, silencing those who turned to whisper.
"Before raising competition between any of the other volleyball teams you boys are so eager to defeat, we have to look at who we're going against. First, let's take a look at Wakutani South— a group skilled within the range of defense and solidarity. They're the ones we're gonna have to terminate before any other people. We should keep an eye out for Date Tech as well. Everyone knows about their popular iron wall built by tall guys who specialize in defense. In March, we were defeated by the two to nothing."
I raise my brow at Ukai's explanation. Koshi told me not too long ago that the game against Date Tech is what convinced Asahi to quit volleyball for good.
Thinking about how nervous they made our team feel made me uncomfortable.
"The only reason they aren't seated this year is that they ranked 16 in the top material after losing to Shiratorizawa. Hopefully, we won't have to go against them first round. Then there's Aoba Johsai, the team were most likely to go against. We need to watch out or else they'll get the best of us. They're near the best in the prefecture, after all. Last but not least, Shiratorizawa. Famous for their giant ace, Wakatoshi Ushijima, we should stick as a team when facing these guys. They're our best competition." As Ukai finishes off his studies of the teams, Koshi and Daichi gaze at him, happy they finally have a leader who put everyone in their place and truly cared for their future.
Unexpectedly, Takeda darted into the gym, holding a large piece of paper.  "The bracket! I have the bracket for the tournament!" The man shouts as players run towards him.
Hinata and Kageyama lean over his shoulder, along with Tsukishima and Ennoshita. Their eyes suddenly widen at the transcription. "We have to play against Date Tech?!" Hinata exclaims, taking the paper by his hands and panicking.
"Guys, we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves. Aoba Johsai is seated in our block this year.. this means bad luck," Tsuki says, folding his arms. I felt anxious about the idea of having to continue to face Oikawa and Iwazumi. Knowing them, they would use their personal feelings to try and mix things up between matches.
Koshi comes up behind me, patting my back softly. He must have seen the irritated look in my eyes from far away when looking at the bracket. The competition was only a few days before Summers Amp Fest, meaning I had back go back practices at the beginning of June. It being only May, this gave me time to plan out a schedule. If I coordinated dates properly enough I wouldn't be stressed out as easily as I could be.
The rest of the practice went by rather quickly. Ukai cleared up a hand full of questions the boys were itching to ask, Kiyoko and I were able to make lists of items we would be needed whilst remaining on the sidelines of this tournament, and Eclair visited the team before the end of the night.
"Sorry, lovelies! I had to attend to some enrollment business today," she says with a hypnotic smile that stretches as far as the length between her ears. "I can't believe I can't stick around in Japan until you guys' tournament!"
Nishinoya leans towards the girl to position himself right under her nose. "Then stay longer! I don't see why you have to go back so suddenly, 'Clair."
Koshi and I simultaneously make eyes at each other. It was obvious we didn't want anything to do with the girl.
"Maybe you guys can visit me if you're ever in France. I'd love to show you all around." She says as if anyone would skip countries to spend time with her. Thank goodness it was her last day.
As she stays to discuss further with the boys, Koshi tugs at my hand, gesturing that he wanted to pull me aside for something. I walk with him to the exit of the gym where he very gently nudges me against the wall and folds his hand into mine. "Are you going to be okay? You know, with Oikawa?"
"Oh...of course. I can handle him. Why?"
"I have a bad feeling about him. I know he's a goody two shoes in school and everyone adores him and all...god knows he does no wrong...but I'm scared he might suggest ideas about you two the way he used to, you know?" Koshi speaks in a low tone for us to have privacy. the more he explained his feelings about Oikawa to me, the clearer it became that he was intimidated by Oikawa.
I understood why; we grew up together, he was there during the darkest moment of my life, and he was the talk of the town when it came to volleyball, school, and such. since Koshi and I had only been dating for a couple of weeks, he must've felt that it was easy to lose my attention. I didn't judge him for having trust issues, but I did discriminate against him for thinking he was under Oikawa when it came to who could win me over.
"trust me, you have nothing to worry about, okay? you're a much better person than he was or ever will be. I would never turn to Oikawa even if it meant happiness forever," I giggle awkwardly, striving to help Koshi feel better. I rub my hand against his cheek softly, looking down at my feet in embarrassment for behaving as a girlfriend should.
"But I do have some good news..."
Koshi tilts his chin up in wonderment of what I could surprise him with, "hm? and what would that be?"
"I've completed the song lyrics. Toruku is finishing up the rhythms and chords he wants to base the song off of. in a week or two, it should be done," I say as I politely put my hands back into my pockets. my heart beat progressively faster because of the anticipation of waiting for a response from him.
"really? can I come over tonight so we can go over them?" he asks me excitedly. "only if it's okay with you. since it's the weekend maybe we could have a sleepover and go to practice together in the morning!"
I nod and gleam at him, pleased by his reaction. yet, in this happy moment of ours, I spot a blonde making eyes at Koshi and i. eclair seemed to be all ears for a conversation she was not involved in. to make it obvious I caught her, I tilt my head in her direction and raise my brows as if asking, 'do you need something?' the girl takes notice and quickly goes back to paying attention to the pestering of Tanaka and Nishinoya.
Koshi takes notice, turning around to see what distracted me. confused, he looks back at me, brows furrowed. "while you fuss about Oikawa, I'd like to fuss about a little french girl that very obviously wants to get into your pants before her departure," I whisper in a gossip-type tone, causing my boyfriend to cringe/laugh. the both of us decide to head towards the crowd of boys discussing all types of matters, mostly about the upcoming volleyball tournament.
- K.S. Perspective
"get some good rest tonight. tomorrow, we're spending the entire day practicing." coach ukai exclaims, along with a couple of other remarks regarding the attitude coming from Hinata and Tobio.  after the volleyball team agreed to bring their best efforts the upcoming morning, we were released and ready to depart home.
I nudge y/n on her shoulder, muttering under the ruckus, "I need to help clean up a little bit. mind waiting for me with Kiyoko in the girls' locker room?"
Although asking her to walk in the dark without me made me uneasy, it made it easier for her to get a load of work off her hands. the past month she's been stressing herself over both being a good manager and a loyal bandmate. I respected y/n for her patience and determination to keep her life in order.
she nodded happily and trotted off outside the gym. when I turn back to the club members, all were occupied helping tidy up the gym. deciding to group up with the second years and mop the floors, I head towards the supply closet.
what I didn't expect was to find eclair in a corner, huddled up and silently crying. pretending I don't see her, I begin to back up towards the entrance of the room. unfortunately, she catches me just as I reopen the door.
"shit...ignore me. leaving is simply making me a little sad, is all!" she wipes away her tears and smiles. eclair proceeds towards me in the dark room and suddenly wraps her arms around my rib cage where her head could lay onto my chest. "do you mind?"
everything was happening so fast, that I couldn't begin to process the moment, but it felt wrong.
when I sensed something off, I civilly shoved her. "Uhm, what?" I stutter, stepping away from the girl.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Eclair stares at me with sad eyes for a split second before crossing her arms and looking down at her feet. "I thought it would be appropriate if I had a goodbye hug. I hope you didn't take that in the wrong way."
'maybe if you had approached me with that before moving in, I would have understood.' I thought to myself, as I automatically rolled my eyes. "oh... that makes sense. are you okay?"
it was obvious she was very much not okay, but clearing up the awkward situation felt as of it would be natural than to stand only a few inches away from her while she cited.
"well, not exactly. as you know, France isn't my type of home. I'm nervous about making new friends and stuff. I got so comfortable here, I didn't see this coming," she says to me, as she leaned against a wall and took a deep breath.
I nod my head in awareness. "yeah, moving can be hard. I'm sorry you have to leave so soon. if you have a more positive mindset, things might turn out better!" I attempt to cheer her up without seeming as if I'm too friendly.
eclair looks up at me once again and smiles, "you're so kind, Koshi. I'm gonna miss you the most, you know. it kind of sucks we didn't get to talk very much. it's my fault for making things so complicated between us, though. I never should have been stupid and confessed to you last year. I'm really sorry."
I feel distraught by the words she spoke so confidently. it didn't seem it at first glance, but her face seemed an awful lot too relaxed and her words left a bad taste in my mouth. I stayed silent and looked down at my tennis shoes, praying the conversation would be over soon. to my bad luck, she puts her hand onto my shoulder, rubbing it while she tilted her head and looked far too deep into my eyes.
"I hope you know that you're the first person who I've ever really had feelings for. there was so much I swore I would do just to be with you. knowing I'll never be able to meet my expectations of us makes me feel like I'll never be satisfied," she says sadly, yet her body language hints at another feeling. "do you ever think about that, Kou?"
nervous, I clear my throat and take yet another step back. at this point, I am almost against the wall of the room, feeling utterly irritated. "Uhm, I don't. I'm sorry, but my feelings are the same. I've never been in love with you, eclair. I don't think I ever will be, either. please, stop," I spoke with anger under my tone, trying my best to make it obvious I didn't want her.
suddenly, she takes my hand in hers and places it on the lowest part of her hip, stands on her tippy toes, and runs the other hand through my hair. at this point, I was shaking in distress, thinking of how to throw her off of me without injuring her or making myself look terrible.
We had come to a point where there was no time to think, for she pushed her waist close between my legs and tried tilting her head to kiss me. I instantly decided to push her off of me and brush off any area she had touched me as if I was contaminated. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I silently yell at her as she hides against a wall in embarrassment. "I don't know why you ever thought I'd be as low as to cheat on my girlfriend with a pathetic person like you. now, I tried to give you space and sympathy, but you've taken it way too far!"
she looks at me angrily, "Oh, shut up, Koshi! you know you're desperate for any girl you can lay your hands on. am I so wrong for believing you're still the man-whore you used to be? for being stupid and sensitive and wanting something so badly that I have such a low chance of receiving? all I've ever wanted was to be loved by you in any way possible, so don't you dare shame me when you're the exact same way! and how is it you suddenly click and realize how much of a dickhead you are and decide since you've 'fallen in love' you're such a good person?! why could it have not been someone else, huh? why couldn't it have been me?"
I hold tight fists in my hands out of anger, though I know I wouldn't dare lay a hand on her. my head filled with so many negative emotions that I could not begin to build a statement to throw at her. "because I would never fall in love with someone so sickening as you. you're a selfish brat, eclair, who throws a fit when she can't have what she wants. you're a bitch!"
deciding I'm finished with dealing with the girl, I turn the doorknob of the supply closet. "grow up, eclair. you'll never get anywhere in life if you don't grow up and stop behaving like a child. you aren't a little girl anymore," I say, as I leave the room.
a few of the teammates have their heads turned towards me, noticing the angry exterior I wore. as positive as I tried to be, it was difficult to hide the amount of wrath running through my body. I was sick to my stomach, feeling terrible about not throwing her off of me sooner, if I had known her intentions, I wouldn't have ever considered leaving y/n's side.
everything eclair had accused me of got to my head. maybe I was the horrible person I've been trying so hard not to be this entire time. maybe I wasn't worthy of being in a happy relationship or having the privilege of being loved by y/n.
maybe everybody was better off without facing me every day, aware of who I used to be.
-
it's literally been like four months:)
yes i'm also very fucking angry
ily guys
- estrxlar
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jaskierswolf · 2 years
Text
The Rest was History
Welcome to Aro Awareness week 2022! I always forget it begins on a Sunday... But have some Geraskier QPR (Queer Platonic Relationship) feat. a little side valskier.
CW: Sexual content implied.
_
Jaskier was many things in life, charming, personable, a little bit cheeky, brilliant at his craft and great with people. His charisma could melt even the coldest of hearts, and he was always the life of the party. All in all, Jaskier led a pretty cosy life. The sex was great, he wasn’t tied down and he really did enjoy a good old flirt. It was fun and it made him feel better about himself. That was just how he danced through life, social gatherings, dates with friends, and being able to enjoy basking in the warmth of his little bubble of people. No one was treated any better or special than the other, Jaskier would flirt just as hard with Valdo or Essi or Pris as he would with a random waiter at a restaurant.
It was just the way he was.
The one thing Jaskier didn’t do, was fall in love, which was a surprise to everyone who knew him. Once upon a time, he’d tried to stop the flirting, but suppressing his nature hadn’t been pleasant for him or his friends, but after the he’d lost half his supposed friendship group from school because they’d fallen in love with him and the been offended when he hadn’t been able to reciprocate.
Jaskier had never meant to hurt his friends, and really to him the flirting was just being friendly. The only reason he called it flirting was because that’s what other people kept telling him.
“You’re such a flirt, Julian,” Valdo would drawl as Jaskier draped himself in his friend’s lap at a party.
“Always a heartbreaker,” Pris had teased, pain barely hidden in her own eyes.
And it just wasn’t fair.
Romance wasn’t in the cards for him and he was okay with that, but why did everyone else have to be hurt because of it?
That was when he met Geralt. In his first year of university, Jaskier had stumbled into his dorm, suitcase in one hand and guitar case in the other, ready to learn and get absolutely wasted without the shadow of his parents looming over him. Geralt had already been there, unpacked and sat on the floor in front of a small TV, a controller in his hand, and Jaskier had wasted no time in introducing himself.
“Julian Alfred Pankratz!” he’d announced as he’d fallen to the floor next to the man who would become his very best friend. “But my friends call me Jaskier,” he added with a wink.
Geralt hadn’t even looked away from the screen, his fingers still moving nimbly on the controller. “Nice to meet you… Julian,” he’d answered dryly.
“Oh fuck you, big guy,” Jaskier teased in mock outrage, and then scurried off to find his room.
After that the rest was history.
_
“Jaskier!” Geralt called from the bathroom, the word muffled by his toothbrush, but the intent was still crystal.
Wincing, Jaskier sheepishly made his way to their bathroom. Sure enough, when he poked his head around the door his clothes were strewn all over the floor, his socks still caught in his jeans and his boxers caught by the laundry basket.
“Yes, darling?” he asked with a pout, the very picture of innocence.
His only response was a raised eyebrow.
“Fine.”
They were already late for the party at Yennefer’s but if Geralt wanted him to do chores then he would do chores. The bastard just had to put up with him complaining about it the whole time.
“Valdo’s coming to the party,” Jaskier grumbled as he scooped up his clothes.
“You staying with him?”
It was a possibility, even after so many years, Valdo was still a frequent hook up for Jaskier. It was nice to have the familiarity of a regular partner without having to worry about romance and shit. Ideally, he would have been able to have that with Geralt, knowing that his best friend also didn’t fall in love was a fucking relief, and it would have been a weight off his shoulders, but anything beyond hand holding and cuddling had Geralt tensing up. The last thing Jaskier wanted was to make Geralt uncomfortable, so whilst they were truly platonic partners in every sense, Jaskier was happy to satisfy his more sexual desires elsewhere.
Such as with Valdo.
But it didn’t mean he always stayed the night, and after a party at Yennefer’s, Jaskier really didn’t want to wake up hungover and sex gross at Valdo’s shitty appartment. No, he would much rather return home and shower before crawling into his own bed, and maybe Geralt would even make them both breakfast in the morning. Geralt’s post-drinking breakfasts were life-savers, and Jaskier craved it every single time he was hungover.
So he shook his head. “Nah, probably just make use of Yennefer’s spare room and grab a taxi home with you.”
Geralt snorted and rolled his eyes. “She’ll kill you.”
“Nothing we haven’t done before.”
“Classy, Jask,” Geralt sighed with a fond smile, reaching out to lace their fingers together as Jaskier dumped his clothes into the basket, and then together they headed out to the car.
Holding hands with Geralt was natural as breathing, they did a lot, more than one would expect from friends, which was probably why everyone always assumed they were dating. Words were not always Geralt’s strong suit, and Jaskier was a very physically affectionate person. When they’d first started to get to know each other, just holding hands was a quick way to communicate that Geralt was there for him, even when words were hard. It had quickly become one of their many quirky friendship things and Jaskier adored it.
In the beginning, there had always been a niggling feeling that it was too good to be true, that Geralt would follow in the footsteps of almost every other one of Jaskier’s friends and fall in love with him and his so-called flirting. But it never happened, and after a decade of friendship, Jaskier finally felt secure in their relationship, without fear or worry.
They were friends who loved each other in a way that made sense to them, no matter what the outside world thought.
“Ready to party?” he asked cheerfully as he strapped into the passenger seat of Geralt’s car.
“Hmm,” Geralt replied noncommittally. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
-
Taglist: @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde, @comfyswitcherblanketfort, @fontegagrilledcheese, @dani-dandelino, @dapandapod @damnbert @officerjennie @feraljaskier @geralt-of-riviass @kueble @gilberik @llamasdumpsterfire @trickstermoose67 @alllthequeenshorses @skai6 @karolincki @eya-trying-to-function @stonedstargazer666 @aurelia-which-means-sunrise @hot-multifandom-mess @slythnerd @thepassifloradiscord
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thatfanficstuff · 3 years
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Her Three Kings - 12
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A Volturi Kings x ofc story
Warnings: nightmares, mentions of blood and torture, cranky caius
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The kings left shortly after that. They had a light lunch delivered and Lily laid down after eating. She remained on top of the covers, only wanting to take a small nap. A knock woke her a couple of hours later. After waking enough to realize what the sound was, she sat up on the edge of the bed.
“Come in,” she called as she ran a hand down her face, trying to be rid of the last of the fatigue.
Jane opened the door and stepped inside. “Hello, Mistress.”
“Jane.”
“The Masters have requested that you join them for dinner in the garden.” The girl kept her hands laced together in front of her.
Panic shot through Lily. “Right now?”
The vampire smiled slightly. “In one hour.”
“An hour? Ugh. That’s not enough time.” Lily stood and started taking off all of her rings and bracelets. She laid them on the dresser as she did. “Can you help me, Jane?”
“Of course. What do you need?” the guard agreed immediately.
“I’m going to take a shower. In one of those garment bags is a white dress with wild flowers on it. Could you find it for me please? And in one of those boxes by the closet is a pair of white sandals with green and blue beading. Thank you.” Lily grabbed her toiletries and a set of undergarments from the duffle bag sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed. She hurried into the bathroom to get ready for her date.
Once Lily had been properly cleaned, shaved and plucked, she put on her underwear. She then slid on the fluffy robe that was hanging on the back of door. When she stepped into the bedroom, she found Jane standing by the bed. The dress and shoes Lily had asked for were laid out. “Thank you, Jane.”
“You are welcome. I took the liberty of taking your other clothes out of the garment bags and organizing them in your closet. I also put the shoes away.”
Lily blinked. “I don’t know how I always forget about that vamp speediness. Thank you. I don’t suppose you know how to do hair, do you?” She’d gotten far too used to having Alice and Rose around to do it for her.
Jane smiled. “Of course.”
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Lily arrived in the garden to find the three kings in conversation. She stood watching them until Aro looked up, catching her eye. His eyes widened as he looked her over and got to his feet. Marcus and Caius turned to see what had captured his attention only for them to have the same reaction. Lily smiled softly and took the seat that Aro pulled out for her. “Thank you.”
“You look lovely, dolcezza,” Marcus said.
“Agreed. You are beautiful.” The two tamer brothers smiled, thrilled at the prospect of spending time with their mate.
Caius crossed his legs then crossed his arms over his chest as he ran his gaze over her. “I see that you are indeed capable of dressing yourself appropriately.”
She arched a brow and gave him a nod as she took a bite of the pasta they’d placed in front of her. “When the situation calls for it.”
The blond straightened in his seat. “And meeting your mates who happen to be the rulers of the vampire race didn’t warrant careful attention to your appearance?”
He was clearly offended at this perceived slight and the thought amused Lily. “Leaving my family to fly over nine hours to relocate half-way around the world with my mates warranted some comfort. And I did take care in my appearance, Caius. I just didn’t dress the way you expected me to.” She shrugged and continued eating. Caius started to speak again but snapped his mouth shut at glares from both of his brothers.
“We thought that we might use this time to get to know each other a bit, Liliana,” Marcus said. “Tell us about yourself.”
She leaned back and took a sip of her wine. “What do you want to know that you don’t already? I assume Carlisle told you a great deal.” Despite the contact they’d had over the past couple of weeks, they actually hadn’t done much getting to know one another. Their topics of conversation revolved around their days or what her life would be like once she arrived in Volterra. They seemed to come to an unspoken agreement to learn more about each other in person.
“I think you’d be surprised at how little our dear friend actually revealed to us. I believe he felt that it was your place to tell us what you wished for us to know,” Aro said, taking a sip of his own wine.
She hummed in thought and took another bite as she nodded her head. “I was eight years old when I encountered my first vampire. He killed my parents in an alleyway while I hid behind a dumpster covered in their blood. I met my second when the case worker came to claim me. Met my third eight months later when I crossed paths with John.” She pushed her plate away as she finished her food. “What do you suppose the odds of that are?”
“I would say astronomical if not for the fact that you are our mate. It was fate’s way of pushing us together I assume,” Marcus suggested after a small stretch of silence.
“Well, fate can kiss my ass,” she responded with a huff of laughter. “It could have waited a few years to start pushing me around.” Lily didn’t mean the words completely, aware that any little change might have kept her from knowing John or the Cullens or all the other friends she’d made along the way. She sighed and finished her glass of wine, giving Aro a nod of thanks when he refilled it for her. “That being said, my life could have been far worse. I have an abundance of people that love me, even if they aren’t blood.”
“Your bonds are incredible,” Marcus told her. “Typically bonds are formed only with a deep relationship. However, you seem to make bonds incredibly easily. People are drawn to you. Even in their absence I can see the soul sibling bonds between you and the Cullens. Two of them are incredibly vibrant.”
Lily smiled. “That would be Edward and Jasper. Jasper and I, in particular, are extremely close.”
“The god of war befriended a teenage human girl?” Caius asked, his tone something between surprise and disgust.
She tapped her finger on the table. “A teenage human girl showed kindness to Major Jasper Whitlock without wanting anything in return. Sometimes that’s all it takes.”
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After another hour spent in conversation while drinking wine, Lily excused herself. It had been a long day and she was exhausted. Despite that, she found herself unable to sleep once she was in bed. Instead, she simply lay there staring at the ceiling. Finally, she grabbed her cellphone and sent a text to Carlisle asking where he was.
Once she confirmed he was in his room, she threw back the covers and got out of the bed. She opened the door and peeked out of the room hoping the kings weren’t lounging in the common area. Finding it empty, she breathed out a sigh of relief and padded over to the stairs on her bare feet. The stone was cold against her soles, but she didn’t care. She preferred to go barefoot if she had a choice.
She was surprised to find a guard when she reached the bottom of the stairs as there hadn’t been one there earlier. But then, she’d been with the kings or Jane. She had a feeling he’d been placed on duty to keep her safe while the kings were elsewhere. “Hello. I don’t think we’ve met.”
The guard bowed his head with a smirk. “Sebastian at your service, Mistress. It is a pleasure. Is there some way I might be of assistance?”
Lily arched a brow at his enthusiasm and looked him over. While he had a similar build to Demetri, his hair was pitch black. He also had a mischevious glint in his eye and she was pretty sure that smirk was a permanent feature. “Nope. Just going to visit my Pop.” She pointed to the door a short distance away.
Sebastian nodded and she moved over to Carlisle’s door, knocking lightly. He opened it almost immediately, giving her a warm smile when he saw her. “Come in, sweetheart.”
She immediately climbed up onto his bed without invitation. She didn’t need one. After finding her way under the blankets, she settled into the pillows and looked at Carlisle. He sat in a chair in the little sitting area, an amused smile on his face. “Comfy?”
She grinned back. “Couldn’t sleep.”
He simply nodded, needing no further explanation. While she had passed the need to have someone in the room with her when she went to sleep every night, she still had moments when she needed that connection, that comfort. This was one of them. “Would you read to me?” she asked after a moment.
“Of course.” It had been awhile since they’d done this, but they both enjoyed it. It didn’t matter what he read as Lily wasn’t paying attention to the words anyway. It was simply a reminder that he was there even when her eyes slipped closed and she could no longer see him.
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Red eyes haunted her dreams again.
But these weren’t the eyes of her mates. These belonged to something far more sinister. For her anyway. She ran through endless hallways with no doors, laughter echoing behind her. And she didn’t look back—didn’t dare—knowing those eyes would catch her if there was the slightest delay.
And she hated herself for running. She was better than that. She could do better. She’d been trained by the Major himself for fuck’s sake. She shouldn’t be afraid, but she was terrified. Finally, there was a door at the end of the hall. It took her far longer to reach than it should have and she flung open it as soon as she reached it. She slammed it shut behind her and flipped the lock.
“We’ve been waiting for you, Kicsim.” A tremor of fear crawled up her spine and she snapped around to find two sets of red eyes glaring at her. One belonged the vampire that killed her birth parents and the other to the vampire that killed John. They were standing next to a pile of burning vampire pieces.
Oh god. She had to get out of here. The door now refused to open despite her having only come through moments before. A large hand snatched the back of her shirt and jerked her backward. The two vampires smiled down at her before they began to rip her apart, throwing the pieces into the fire.
Lily woke with a scream to find Carlisle bent over her, his hands on her arms. Who knew how long he’d been trying to wake her? She launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He spoke softly trying to calm her and shifted them around so he was in the bed with her. He leaned against the headboard and she curled up against his side. One hand ran lightly along her spine while the other pushed her hair away from her face. “It’s okay, Lily. It was just a dream.”
She shuddered but nodded in acknowledgment. Only a couple of minutes passed before a knock sounded at the door. She gripped Carlisle tighter, not wanting him to go anywhere. “Shh. It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”
“Come in,” he said only a bit louder. The door opened to admit the kings.
“Is everything alright?” Aro asked. “We felt her distress.”
“Nightmare.” Carlisle played with her hair, knowing it relaxed her.
Her gaze moved between her mates, but she didn’t say anything. Frankly, she didn’t want to talk at the moment.
“That must have been some dream,” Caius said, sounding concerned.
Carlisle made a sound of agreement. “When she came to live with us, she had them frequently. They’ve dissipated over the years, but I should have anticipated this. Stressful situations have always made them more likely. With the move and meeting you, it was inevitable. Too much change all at once.”
Marcus ran his eyes over her face. “As long as you are alright, Liliana.”
She gave a little nod at the three kings who stood awkwardly near the bed, uncertain what to do. After a moment, they moved toward the door though their gazes kept coming back to her.
“You can stay if you want.” Her voice was quiet, but she knew they heard.
“Would you like us to?” Marcus asked.
Again, she nodded. They immediately came back toward her.
Carlisle gave her a little squeeze. “Sit if you like. We can talk. She likes to hear people talking if she can’t sleep or she’s upset. It’ll help her.”
That’s all he needed to say. Aro and Marcus sat in the chairs of the little sitting area behind her while Caius sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard beside Carlisle. His gaze locked on hers. She wondered what he was thinking as he just observed her with those crimson eyes. He didn’t engage in the conversation that the others were having.
Finally, after several minutes, his gaze softened. “Go to sleep, little human. All will be well.”
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firecooking · 2 years
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The Rodent Siblings Headcannons 🏍️🌺
Side note: I'm covering Lela and Butchy in one post Because a ton of my hc's for them have to do with each other
- Lela and Butchy's last name means Rodent [I go with Roditore cause i think they are Italian American] and they where called the Rodent kids\siblings well before there was a Rodents social Club
- They both also will tell you ant of the other Rodents are also honorary Rodent Siblings, they're Rodents anyways after all
- Butchy's soft spot for Lela is immensely deep, he'd walk to the ends of the earth for her, he even does things like pick up extra chores around the house and give her pocket change when he has any
- Lela has an equally deep soft spot for her brother, most of the time when Butchy over loads himself or needs any kind of rest she'll be right there to get him a drink and help out, or even put her foot down and make him go take a nap
- They never had their parents around as kids [both died when they where young] so they've taken to parenting eachother when needed, Butchy often puts more pressure on himself to be the mature parent of the two but Lela can and will hold her ground and tell him to go to bed or sit him down to talk
- They are Both Trans and Gay they deserve it
- the gay part took a bit for them to figure out but when they where little little they constantly would steal each other's clothes and more gendered belongings and eventually they just started going by there preferred genders and names and no one questioned it [them being silent\sandwich generation kids this would make total sense with attitudes at the time]
- Lela specifically is a Bi Trans Woman with leanings towards dating women, but she's also still VERY MUCH into looking at cute boys any day of the week
- Butchy specifically is a GayAce Trans Man who's also definitely on the Aro spectrum, he does have very strong queer platonic attraction but that one's hard to explain to other guys in the 60s
- Not a single Rodent would dare try and date Lela unless of course she was the one who took the first steps. Butchy can, will, and has gotten into fights over people looking at her too long for his own taste [he broke Lugnut's nose once over him offering her a unprompted jacket when she was cold. Everyone is surprised Tanner never turned up dead]
- Butchy has 100% given the worst dating advice you've ever heard to folks who ask, he forgets hes not Allo and it basically just turns into "Dump him\her" or "Ew wtf why do you want to do THAT" ['that' being something completely normal for allo's, like necking or second base]
- Lela and Butchy routinely skip church to see movies at the nickelodeon, they both love musicals and bad sci-fi movies
- Butchy is a Gene Kelly and Bing Crosby simp when it comes to picking movies, Lela will watch anything with Audrey Hepburn or Elizabeth Taylor, they both will watch a Fred Astaire movie no questions asked
- Butchy and Lela both did etiquette classes as kids and they both hated it, they still 100% subconsciously follow some of the more drilled in things like setting a table properly or manners when it comes to dancing
- Butchy makes dinner, and breakfast, and lunch, and snacks... He picked up cooking when he was little and he just never stopped, it also helps feed his "take care of my sister" instincts
- More on home life, Butchy dropped out of highschool pretty early and got a job and help pay bills, he refuses to let Lela drop out or get bad grades [but he's also never mean about it, he's kept up on 'school' to help her with homework and know what's going on with her]
- Butchy and Lela are Catholic Twins, they where close enough in age that they held Butchy back from going to school a year and the two went together
- there is a two month span every year where Lela and Butchy are the same age and Lela bully's him about it
- Lela wants to be a singer more than anything. Butchy wants her to go to college, he's been saving for it for years. They've never once just sat down and said that to each other so Lela thinks she's going to have to work through college to please him and Butchy thinks that she's very happy to go and have the help. They are both very dumb
- I have such an indpeth family arrangement for these two in my head but the basics is they live with their grandfather who is a disabled WW1 vet, they are fairly poor but they get by, they have a couple family members who they aren't that close with who aren't really around so the three function as a happy little unit
- If Butchy was an inch shorter he wouldn't be able to ride his 1950 Harley-Davidson Panhead, he refuses to acknowledge this, he also has a attachable sidecar Incase he needs to transport things or a person since he refuses to get or be in a car
- Lela built her bike, it's a very slick chopper built out of a Kawasaki W1 and Honda CB77, it is her absolute baby not even Butchy is aloud to drive it
- Because Butchy and Lela have shared a Jack and Jill bathroom from a young age they 100% are unphased by basically everything with each other. One could be showering and the other will open the door without knocking and ask a question. Around the house with just a robe? Sure. "Hey can I borrow your toothbrush" "how did you loose a toothbrush, but sure"
- Yes they are exceedingly gross, its just siblings things™. They share drinks, hair brushes, wipe dirt onto each other's clothes, "hey this is awful, try this", share a fork. Neither of them know what personal space or boundaries are
- they get into fist fights sometimes, not cause they are actually fighting but just because they're bored and they can
- Butchy takes care of the garden, he loves it
- Lela hates gardening, she kills everything she touches, but she has to help because if Butchy has to deal with a weird bug he will cry
- Butchy cries a lot especially around Lela, he's very sensitive and in touch with how he feels, the only time he'll bottle something up is if it has to do with feeling like he's not enough to take care of the people he loves
- Lela is the one that tends to bottle up how she feels, though she's mostly very honest with Butchy, she tends to try and be a people pleaser or yes man to everyone else to the point of getting herself in trouble
- Butchy is dyslexic and wears reading glasses, it's part of why he dropped out beyond needing a job, Lela is very hyperactive and struggles in school due to it, they are both Autistic because I said so
- and finally; Butchy doesn't celebrate his birthday, it's just not something he cares about, but Lela makes him his favorite cake and they have a nice night in every year, Butchy loves it. In contrast Butchy throws Lela a party every year for hers, she love it
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officerjennie · 3 years
Text
and the cold seeps in
Summary: Eskel and Geralt discover they want different things from each other.
CW: Unrequited love, emotional hurt with no comfort, unhappy ending, not explicitly stated but aro/ace!Eskel
Taglist: at the bottom (let me know if you want on/off it!)
For Whumptober's Unrequited Love prompt - Whumptober being an event on discord run by @thewitcherbog mods.
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“I love you.”
The answering silence was deafening, and Geralt held his breath.
How many times had they laid in each other’s arms just like this? They were in Geralt’s room this time. A fire kept the winter at bay, though cracks in the wall let some of the cold slip in. The thick blankets and furs piled onto his bed helped trap their own body heat in, and pressed against Eskel’s body he could almost forget that the wind outside would bite so harshly.
For years, they’d been drawing ever closer to each other. Eskel’s smile softening for him further than for any other, Geralt leaning against him just to feel his support. Stray and innocent touches here and there that caught Geralt’s breath and stole it from his lungs.
Eskel had held him close for most of the night. His hands would soothe over Geralt’s back, fingers winding in his hair, his heartbeat a steady and soft rhythm in Geralt’s ear. Now, his hands were still, body stiff, and Geralt waited with his heart in his throat.
“I’m...sorry.”
Geralt couldn’t look at him. Even after they were sitting on the bed, side-by-side, the inches between them feeling vast and foreign. The silence thick and heavy.
“I thought…” Eskel swallowed thickly, running a hand through his short hair, gripping it tight for a moment before letting his hand drop again. “I didn’t think that’s what you wanted.”
“Even Lambert thought we were-” Geralt gestured vaguely, his tone bitter, his eyes still on the floor. “Why else would we- well, do this?”
A sniff almost made Geralt look at him. Almost.
“Why else would we...touch?”
“Hold each other,” Geralt bit out, angrier at himself with each word. “On the couch, in inns, at home. We sleep in the same bed more often than not, I’m- what else could it have been? What other reason could there be?”
“I just…” Eskel’s breath shook, his voice strained. “I wanted to be close?”
Geralt dropped his face into his hands, pressing his hands firmly against his skin. Close. That, they certainly had been. Never in his life had he been closer to anyone, had never felt more understood or accepted or loved than by anyone else. How could he have been so wrong?
“I don’t understand.” It was muffled by his hands, but through the cracks of his fingers he saw Eskel flinch at his words. And heard how his next breath shuddered.
After a time, all Eskel managed to say was “I should go”, and he took all the warmth in the room with him.
-
“It’s still early,” Geralt gruffed out, snow crunching under his boots as he approached Eskel.
Eskel did not turn to him. The stiffness in his shoulders had not loosened for the weeks since that night, his movements stilted as he saddled Scorpion up. Geralt’s breath was visible in the air in front of him, his nose and cheeks already burning from the cold - no matter how many layers he wore, no matter how thick his cloak, he couldn’t get warm.
He rubbed his gloved hands together, looking off towards the road. The snow was still thick even if spring was upon them.
“Not even Lambert has headed out yet,” he tried again, worry coloring his tone. “You should wait another week at least, otherwise-”
“Geralt, don’t.”
Eskel was still. One hand in Scorpion’s mane, the other loose at his side. His swords were already on his back, cloak sitting a bit awkward over the spikes of his armor. His expression closed off, no soft and crooked smile, his eyes far away as if he was already gone.
Geralt said nothing as Eskel mounted his horse, and let him go. And as he stared after him, he wished he’d said nothing at all.
-
....and then they eventually talk it out, and Geralt finds someone else who can accept his heart the way he wants. And then him and Eskel still end up in a QPR and love each other in a very deep and platonic way 🥺🥺🥺🥺
@fontegagrilledcheese @unyielding-as-the-sea @mothmanismyuncle @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @jaskierswolf
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yeahimaloser · 3 years
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Oh To Be In Love: Part 7
Summary: Being in love can be hard, but it’s much harder to be in love with your best friend, and even harder to be in love with japans number 2 pro hero. 
A friends to lovers story.
Hello!
sorry this took so long! but I hope you all enjoy it!
part 1 -> part 2 -> part 3 -> part 4 -> part 5 -> part 6
Also I still plan for there to be a re-write of some previous chapters, they are just taking a bit. 
Word count: 4.3k
. . . 
Keigo's smile never left his face, not after he took you back to your home, driving as you two talked and joked, and not after he got back home. Not even when he felt the nerves in his face become tighter and tighter.
The whole night just felt like a dream come true, and he desperately wanted it not to end. If he could, he would have danced with you the whole night, holding you in his arms, it almost felt better than flying.
He desperately wanted you closer, desperately wanted to feel you against him again, it was a sensation akin to a drug. Your presence that was draped around him was intoxicating, the way you moved with him, he had felt like it was all a dream, like something that good could not possibly be real.
But it was, and that's what made it so much better. 
The fact that you two actually danced with each other, holding on to one another. He had never felt as safe as he did in your arms, feeling you so very close to him, God, he wished he could have had you the whole night.
For a moment, he had allowed himself to dream, allowed himself to think about what it would be like if you and him were...lovers. He knew it was futile, he knew that, in the end, you and him would always be apart, never enduring in his true feelings for you.
But, he allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to feel the shape of your lips, to feel the curve of your body, he let himself imagine you and him happy together, together, and in love. He let himself wonder what it would feel like, he always imagined the electricity that would flow through him as your lips would connect, how your body would press to his as he did so. He wanted to know, he wanted to know so desperately it hurt.
Yet, he thought about your feelings, and they kept becoming so muddled to him.
Did you feel the same way? Did you love him? Did you feel that spark as you two dance under each other's touch?
He hoped so.
He sighed as he opened the doors to his penthouse, the cool, lonely air filling his senses.
He didn’t know if he would call this place home, it felt more like a storage unit more than a place of comfort. Most often he was off alone, patrolling or on a mission, and when he did come home, he was much to exhausted to dapple in the comfort of his own home. It felt too big, too lonely to call a home, when he stepped foot inside, he was reminded of one, central fact.
He was alone. He, at the end of the day, was never going to fill the house with the laughter of another person. How he felt like a bird, trapped in a ginormous cage.
It was filled with expensive furniture, lavish TVs, a giant kitchen, and a pool he seldom used. And although the house was filled with high-priced objects that anyone would be thankful for, and although each part of the house was decorated with lavish decor, to him, it felt empty. It felt like every time he came home, he was walking into a void.
There was one thing he liked about the home, only one thing that kept him from selling the place and moving out.
The view, God was it amazing.
In the morning, when the sun rose, he would see how the sun would peek above the clouds, how the light would wash into the rooms of the house, the pure beauty of it all soaking in everything around it. And as he watched the sunrise, his body felt peaceful, he felt like nothing could hurt him, like he was simply himself, watching as the sun bathed the city in gold. 
And then at night, he would sit outside on his roof, just watching as the stars dotted the inky blackness, watching as splatters of color shown above him. He watched as the lights of the city below him sparkled on, twinkling below his reach. The sky itself looked so vast, so long and endless, he stared up in wonder as the black sky consumed the world around him. In those moments he let himself forget, letting himself feel free, even for a moment.
He made a mental note to show you the stars one day.
As he got ready for bed, he heard his phone ding against the hardwood of the nightstand, his eyebrows rose in mock surprise.
He opened it, seeing a text from you.
Y/N: thanks for tonight :) I had an awesome time
He smiled, remembering the way the candlelight showed against your features, the way you smiled as he danced with you. The way your body fit against his, the feel of your skin, the way your eyes shone in the late night’s beautiful light. How your hand fit into his as you danced away with him. He would do anything, pay anyone, just to relive it again.
Hawks: No problem
Hawks: Now go to bed don’t stay up all night
Y/N: whatever mom
He chuckled to himself, almost hearing your snicker.
He was about to put down his phone, tired and happy, but that’s when he got a new message.
He had expected to see your name flash on his phone, but his eyes widened when he realized the message was from someone else, someone who he knew was going to ruin the perfect night.
Commission Higher Up: Tomorrow afternoon, meeting, do not be late, non-negotiable.
Keigo sighed, knowing that his day of fantasy with you was over, and knowing tomorrow was going to be started as a nightmare.
------
As Keigo walked into his agency, he was met with the waves and greeting of his sidekicks and workers, a normal, typical day.
“Oh! Hawks, sir,” his secretary waved him over.
He walked over to her, already knowing what she was going to say, “Sir, I just wanted to remind you that you have a meeting with the head of the Hero Public Safety Commission.”
He gave her his hero-winning smile, “Oh yeah don’t worry about that, I got a message from him yesterday.”
“Oh, well, sir, that’s the thing, he just came in.”
Keigo tried his best not to let his smile slip, but he was sure his eyes were deceiving how he truly felt.
He didn’t necessarily hate the commission, they had taken him in when he was nothing but a child, they had made him become a hero. That being said, the commission was always breathing down his neck, always watching, waiting for him to slip up. There were so many rules, who he could be seen with, who he couldn’t, what he could do, what he couldn’t do. And yet, they had helped him be the person he was, the hero he was. So no, he didn’t hate them, but he knew what it meant when they came to meet with him. It was one of three things; one, he was in trouble (he knew it was very unlikely), two, they needed him to do a press interview (most likely not, he had just made one a few weeks ago), which just left option number two…
A mission.
He nodded curtly to his secretary, still smiling at her, “Thank you for letting me know, please have no one disturbed us.”
She nodded, writing down his instructions on a piece of paper as he left.
Slowly, his smile fell away, turning his face into one of cool calculation.
He prepared himself for what he would hear when he opened the door, about how most likely he would be sent away again, on some mission far out.
Slowly, he creaked the door to his office open.
He wasn’t necessarily a disorganized person, more of he didn’t find a lot of time to clean up his messes, yet, they never seemed to bother him all that much. A stack of paper was left on his desk, a few had flown off into their own space on the wood polished surface. The carpet was cleaned, and the window looking out to the city was clear and breathtaking.
But he did not have time to admire the view today.
The director had placed himself on the opposite side of Keigo’s desk, facing the door, no doubt expecting him to walk in any minute.
Keigo walked over to his desk keeping his features neutral, not wanting to give away anything about his true feelings. He was good at that,
Keigo refused to be the one to speak first, he had nothing to say. He knew the Director would seldom make small talk, so there was no need to act warmly towards him.
The HPSC director stared back at him, his face one of serious intent, “Hawks, we have a business to discuss.”
Keigo nodded, walking to sit down on his office chair, “What is this about? I have an idea, but I would prefer it if you told me. I don’t like making guesses.”
The director nodded, “We’ve had a surge of nomu attacks, and we were wondering if perhaps you had learned anything new about them?”
Keigo shook his head, all of the information he had learned had already been given to the directors, he had learned nothing. 
And boy, were they up his ass about it.
He rarely had free time, his days were spent doing mostly hero work and collecting intel, working was almost the only thing he would do. He was lucky you were his one escape, the one thing he had that could help him to relax. 
He felt a pang in his heart, a sadness taking over him.
If he did go on a mission, he wouldn’t see you, he wouldn’t feel you or touch you the way he did last night, he wouldn’t feel the electricity spark through him as you brushed your fingers over his feathers. The warm breath so close to him, God it would be trying.
“Thought so,” the director sighed, “well, in that case, you will need to leave almost immediately, on a mission. We need more intel and we need it soon, you’ll leave for an intel mission. I’ll message you the rest, but be ready, you’ll leave tomorrow.”
Keigo couldn’t stop his eyebrows from shooting up, “Tomorrow? So soon?”
The director frowned at his panicked and upset tone, and Keigo tried his best to calm his racing mind.
Tommowero was so soon, so quick. While it was true that Keigo had made a quick recovery from his fight, he didn’t exactly feel like now was the best time for him to be going on missions, especially when he noticed a significant amount of attacks going on near the area around his agency. And yet, he couldn’t complain, he knew this was non-negotiable. 
The director nodded, “Yes, I expected you to be fully briefed on the situation. Are we in an understanding?”
Keigo bit back the reply he wanted to spit out, how they didn’t have an understanding, how he didn’t want to go on some stupid mission. But, he knew he had no real choice in the matter, he knew he had agreed to take on the responsibilities of stopping the League Of Villains. He knew the responsibilities that came with that, he knew what he had agreed to, he couldn’t stomp around now, acting like a spoiled child. He knew he had no choice but to take the mission. He was a hero, he was someone who protected others, and at the end of the day, his job took precedence.
He had worked so hard to get to where he was, if he had to work harder, that was ok.
Normally, he would have been fine going on a mission, happy even. When he had first started all he could think about was work, saving people, becoming a hero like his younger self would have always wanted. Yet now, he felt a strong pull to another sense of duty, one almost stronger than his need to be a hero...
He stood up and gave a polite bow to the director. 
“Yes sir, thank you for coming in.”
The director nodded expectantly, “Good, your secretary should get my message about your next mission, pack your bags tonight.”
Before Hawks could even nod, the director had made his way out the door.
Keigo sighed, exhausted. 
He knew that the director would be curt and quick, and he knew the conversation had lasted only a few minutes, which was usual. But he swore it felt like hours.
His phone buzzed, he smiled as it did. You always seemed to know how to cheer him up.
Y/N: hey hero man
Y/N: what are you up to tomorrow
He sighed as he typed his answer.
Hawks: mission 
Hawks: gotta leave by tomorrow
Y/N: WHAT
Y/N: TOMORROW
Y/N: well then do you think I can come over tonight?
Y/N: nothing bad I promise
Y/N: Did they say how long
Hawks: no they didn’t
Hawks: but I’m guessing a week maybe two
Y/N: it’s settled
Y/N: I’m coming over tonight
He smiled. A well-needed break from his stress, he thought...
-----
He fidgeted nervously with the ring placed on his finger, tugging at it slightly.
He noticed he had a nervous habit of doing such things, especially when you were involved. He seemed to have a hard time keeping still in general, yet, when it came to you he seemed to worsen.
Being the fastest hero had its strange habits, this was just one of them, the need to move and to be agile at all times. A part of him had wondered if it also came from his training, the need to keep a strong guard up at all time, and to always be at the ready.
Combined with the ring he had on his finger, he had put on a casual outfit.
A nice black sweater combined with a nice set of jeans, he had to admit he didn’t know why he wanted to look nice, it’s not like you’ve never seen him in sweats and a slim top. And yet, he wanted you to remember him as looking so nice before he had to leave you.
It was around 7 pm, the time you had agreed to come over, the time he had planned.
He didn’t really know what he wanted to do when you came over, he just knew he had to see you. 
Slowly, he heard two knocks at his door, he practically jumped up from the spot on his couch to open the door.
Was he that tense?
As he opened the door, there you were, a smile slowly spreading on your face, “Hey there, bird boy, how are you holding up?”
You both gave each other a light embrace, although it was very much needed.
You both walked inside his home, big as it was, with you inside he felt much more at home.
“So,” you sighed as you sat down on the couch, “you’re off on a big mission tomorrow? Do you know how long?”
Keigo nodded his head, “Yeah, about three weeks, not so long but long enough.”
You shook your head, “That’s so dumb, you just got back in after that villain attack, I can't believe they’re sending you out so soon. I wish I could give them a piece of my mind, who do they think they are.”
He smiled, your concern was friendly, even cute in his mind. He loved how you were prepared to help him, even if he didn’t deserve it.
“Yeah well,” he said as he gave a dark chuckle, “I signed up for this hero business, gotta pay the price right.”
You rolled your eyes, “That's so dumb, they should at least give you a break. And then what? You get hurt on this mission too? You come back in and have to go back to that hospital again? They’re so inconsiderate, ugh it makes me sick. I wish-”
Keigo stopped you, placing a hand lightly on your thigh, “Hey come on,” he gave you a light squeeze, “I’m the number two pro hero, I can take care of myself.”
You only huffed in response, “You can’t stand up to them? You can't say anything? Come on, I know your body must be tired.”
You were right of course, although he had mostly healed from his time in the hospital, he knew his body wouldn’t be able to handle being thrown right back into battle, just to get pummeled again.
“I appreciate the concern, sweetheart, I really do,” he smiled, “but no, there’s not much I can do.”
You shook your head, “You really can’t try? What are they going to say, they need you, I’m sure you can ask for some downtime, Hawks.”
But Keigo just sighed, “No, Y/N, there would be no point. It’s complicated, alright.”
In truth, he wanted nothing more than to drop the conversation, he wanted his last night with you to be a happy, fun-filled memory, one to look back on as he went away. He knew it wasn’t fair to you, he knew that for the next week you would have to wonder in silence if your best friend was safe or not. He knew you just wanted him to be safe, but you had to know that he was a hero, first and foremost.
“Yeah, Hawks,” you said, your tone edging, “I know. Look I guess… I guess I’m just worried,” you turned your body to face him, “I know how hard you fight, and I just wish you let yourself relax. I’ve seen you when you're hurt, you can barely sit still. I wish you could just stop moving so damn fast and just slow down and look at the world around you. If anyone deserves that, it’s you.”
You gave him a light smile, “I wish there was some way I could show you my gratitude. To show you how grateful I am to have you in my life, just like so many others. You’re so young, and yet, you put yourself out there in order to help others. I think...I think you don’t give yourself enough credit, you’re one of the bravest people I know, you do so much for people. You deserve to be happy.”
For once, he felt at a loss for words. His jaw went slack as his eyes widened.
“You don’t,” Keigo thought, only for a moment, “you don’t have to show me, I know you're grateful. I’m not a hero out of want or desire, I just have a goal, and I wanna reach it fast. If that means I have to work harder and faster, then so be it. I’ll do anything to achieve my goal.”
“Yeah, I know. You haven’t changed from that wide-eyed boy from when we first met you know.”
“What do you mean?”
You shook your head, “When we first met, you had the same goal, you had the same aspiration, it’s one of the things that drew me to you. You haven’t changed all that much.”
Keigo rolled his eyes, “Glad to know I haven't changed in all these years.”
You giggled, “Well, you certainly got much more handsome.”
He managed to stop his wings from fluffing out, they had a habit of doing that whenever you did or said something about him. It annoyed him, yet, a part of him found it enjoyable, though he didn’t know why.
Luckily, he knew how to keep his cool, “Huh, more handsome, care to go into more detail? I would love to know.”
“Nah, now you're way too cocky, before you were like a little kid, cute and funny. Know you’re just lame.”
Hawks laughed, “Lame? Number two Por hero and I'm lame?”
You laughed with him.
He looked at you, for a moment he felt as though his worries could all drift away like he didn’t have to wake up tomorrow morning and leave like he could spend eternity with you. And boy, did he want to.
“Hawks, oh my goodness,” he turned to face you again, but your eyes were glued to the outside, his balcony.
“I don’t remember you having this beautiful view, oh my god.”
Hawks smiled, he knew you would like it, anyone would.
He sat up, extending a hand to you, “Well, why don’t we go out and see it? I’ll lead the way.”
You smiled, grasping his hand as he let you up, “It looks so beautiful.”
As you two made your way outside, the cold air hit his face, the breeze felt so inviting, he almost wanted to take off and sore above the clouds. And yet, you kept him anchored down, his feet planted, his hand in yours. The way your face was lit up by the stars, the way you smiled up at the night sky. Your eyes twinkled as you gazed up as if you were memorizing each constellation in your mind.
For a moment, for just a second, he had forgotten everything that he was worried about. He had forgotten why he was so anxious, he had forgotten why he was worried, the only thing that mattered to him at this moment was you. You, who looked so stunning under the night’s light, you, who shone brighter than any star, you, who he loved.
But it all came back to him a second later, why he was going to leave, why he was out with you for the last time for weeks, why he was upset that he wouldn’t see your glowing face for days. He wanted to etch your features into his mind, he wanted your face to be the only thing he would think about for days to come.
For a moment, he let himself dream, he let himself believe that there was no mission, that it was just you two, looking up at the stars, as they showed down on your face. He let himself believe that he could stay here, with you, looking into the pale night sky, watching as your eyes flickered towards the moon.
For whatever reason, he remembered his childhood. He remembered how he never truly felt this way about another person before. How, every time you were around him, he felt his heart become warm, how he felt it in his body, that want, that need for you, reaching out with an invisible hand for you. In his childhood, there were marks of sadness that were never truly healed, the marks that would never go away, seeping into his life, even now. And yet, you made them seem like distant thoughts, you made his life feel joyous, you made him feel like he could be himself, that he could be Keigo. He had never felt so sure, so strongly about his feelings for another person before, the whole ordeal shook him, and yet, he found excitement as well. He knew that even if you didn’t return his feelings, even if you someday came to dislike him or drift away from him, he knew he would always be content with you being on the same planet with him because he loved you just that much.
“Hawks?” your voice was etched with concern, your eyes had moved back to his.
“Is everything ok? You look pretty far off,” you said.
He just smiled, “Sorry, just thinking.”
You nudged him with his shoulder, smirking, “Well? Spill, you were looking so intense there.”
He shook his head, “It’s so dumb, you’re gonna laugh.”
“Come on, I promise I won't, please,” you moved slightly closer to him.
His breath hitched when he looked back at you, seeing your eyes light up with genuine curiosity, seeing your face closer to him, so, so close.
Even if he wanted, he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his lips, “Thank you.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, your face becoming one of confusion, “Why are you thanking me?”
He sighed, “I don’t know, for a lot of things. For sticking by me, for helping me, for being here, I mean, I’m leaving tomorrow and you’re sitting with me when you could be off doing who knows what, but here you are. You’ve always been by my side, you’ve always been there for me. And, God Y/N, I can't express to you how much that means to me.”
He found himself taking a sharp breath, “I’ve never had a stable life before, I’ve never had just one person I can actually depend on. But with you, I feel like that’s different, I feel like I actually have someone who wants me around.”
He let out a sad chuckle, “I haven’t had that since... Jesus, I’ve never had that.”
He felt you grip his arm, “Stop it Hawks, you have no idea what you’re talking about. People love you, people everywhere depend on you. People want you around, Hawks.”
“Yeah, but,” he turned to face you, “you want me, you don’t just want pro hero Hawks, you want the real me. And I’m so not used to that. You want the real side of me, not some flimsy hero, and I just…”
For once, he felt a loss for words. He felt as though sentences could not explain what he truly felt, like all the words in the stars could not convey the way his heartbeat for you. He knew that there was no way he could ever truly help you understand the impact you had on him.
The weight of it all felt like so much.
Before he even knew what he was doing, before his brain could even catch up to his body, he was moving in, the space around you two closing. His breath becoming cool and concise, his hands placed firmly on your hips. You didn’t move away.
His lips feel on yours.
He had kissed you.
. . . 
sorry for the clif hanger :) I hope you enjoyed!
Hawks Taglist: 
@under-the-clouds @shylesbiannerd @blue-peach14 @roko-ppk @1small-frogs @m-ray20 @assassinslittlesister @starrygoblin @afuckingunicornn @weepinginternetrunaway @chick3n-nugget @portgasdelisa
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Ghosts are Guilt? (Alec Volturi x Reader)
WARNING: Dark Themes!
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Alec stared you down. You were sitting on the floor, your back to him. What immediately caught his eyes were the matching hand prints around your upper arms. They were a deep purple, and perfect imprints of hands. However they weren't from him. Despite that, you hadn't said a word since the incident and no one talked about what happened, seemingly carrying on as normal- or at least trying to. Everyone but you. 
This was how you spent your days, sitting around never making eye contact and never saying a word. It had been a situation that very quickly became out of hand. You had tried to escape just as you had many times before and Alec as well at the Volturi had enough. Suddenly, Demetri grabbed you tightly, and much like he had done many times before to receptionists. He tossed you into a near by wall. It wasn't too far of a distance but you had hit your head pretty hard. Seemingly the point was made because you never tried to escape again. Although you also never said another word. 
Alec did everything he could possibly think of to provoke you to speak to him. At first he let you sulk. He was determined to beat you at your own game...but you never let up. Alec tried to talk to you. No response. He got angry. Nothing. No matter how gentle or aggressive he was, you offered no response and continued to look dazed, as though not very present. 
It was difficult to determine if you were more injured than thought and that's what provoked your behavior but as time passed, it seemed more likely that you were trying to punish everyone.  Regardless, it had been weeks and Alec had about enough. 
"You know, I've tried to be nice." Alec began. "Even felt sympathy for you. I was concerned when you got hurt. Yet this is the exact reason why you got hurt. This stubbornness, the sheer inability to do as your told got you in that situation. I told you not to try this, that you were lucky you were getting all these chances. Now here you sit, like a spoiled child in silence until you get your own way. What do you want!?" Alec began to raise his voice. You kept your back to him, in the same place on the floor you had been. "If you want to continue spending your days sulking like a child, you do that. The rest of us will be moving on without you!" He snapped. 
After his outburst, Alec felt the anger wash away. He caught sight of the book you had left on his desk. He couldn't help but note that the book still lay open where you had last left it before the incident. You hadn't touched it since.
Alec caught on that something was wrong when four days passed and you hadn't moved. Even he had to leave the room to feed yet you hardly moved an inch from where you had sat previously. Furthermore, no one acknowledged you, no one wondered why you hadn't left the room in days. Soon enough, that day began to linger in his mind more than he'd have liked to admit. 
“You know I wasn't just a space in your head. I am the flesh and bone and I bleed like the rest.” Something was off in your tone, but Alec couldn't place it. You had turned to look at him and were standing, despite not making any movement to do so previously. "What?" Alec asked quietly. You simply tilted your head, jaw clenched and staring at him. Your expression was almost expectant? However Alec had no idea what you expected from him. He ignored your words. "So you do know how to speak." Alec said icily.  You looked at Alec, almost expectantly, with cold eyes. A stare that made it clear you'd hold no prisoners, show no mercy. "How long are we going to do this?" You asked. "How long are you going to pretend that I'm in this room, when we both know where i actually am?" Alec was taken aback, processing your words when his memory interrupted his confusion.  The grate being opened that day. "They...they're not breathing." Alec said in disbelief. Demetri looked down at your body. Aro was summoned. "Get Chelsea." Aro said lightly. Alec shook away the thoughts.
“Erasing all your memories? Darling, they won't go so easily.” You chuckled darkly before scoffing. Alec would have to do better than that. As if you'd allow him to forget.  Alec remembered Demetri dragging your body to the open grate. Just himself, Aro and Demetri present. His memory was interrupted with a scoff.  "Oh come on Alec. See all those little lies, chase them away. Like you did the butterflies when you were human. The butterfly lies- chase them away. Be honest. You were never a liar, don't start now." You were right. Jane and Marcus were there too. Alec did nothing to stop Demetri. He watched it happen, like everyone else. Suddenly a whimper rang out in his ears. "I'm sorry!" He recognised your voice immediately. 
Horror rushed though him and you seemed to sense it just as quickly. "Don't stop now." You smirked at him. "The Volturi don't give second chances. Remember?" There was a heavy silence between you. "What? Don't tell me you're remorseful now. I deserved it! Wasn't it satisfying hearing my skull cave in?" "Stop it!" Alec said quickly, your words reminding him of the crunch. "So you do feel guilt?" You laughed at Alec before taking a breath. "You know, I told you something once. Something I had heard. 'Ghosts are guilt.' Perhaps you took it more to heart than you thought." You tilted your head. "Are you trying to tell me you're a ghost?" Alec asked quietly and you snorted. "Of course not! You don't believe in them."  “Does that matter?” Alec whispered.  “Right now it does.” You responded. “So do you?”  “No.” Alec said quietly.  “Then think, why could i be here?” You leaned forward slightly.  “I don’t know.”  “You do.” You said flatly. “We both do. I know that you know. You just don’t want to think about it.”  
 There was a steady silence. “Where am I?” You asked. “In our room.” Alec responded with a frown. “Really? It’s colder than I remember.” You said casually. Somehow that last part didn't sit well with Alec. As though tugging on his mind but whatever it was, he didn't want to think about it. Not even a little. "I wouldn't know. I don't feel the cold...but there hasn't been a shift in temperature." Alec wanted to press you on the 'remember' part but before he could entertain the idea. You spoke up. "Oh, another symptom of your bad luck I suppose." Alec spared you a glance, thinking for a moment. "Immortality? That isn't bad luck." You wore a skeptical expression before challenging him. “Isn’t it bad luck? Isn’t it a curse? You’re forced to sit here, watch the rest of us come and go as the world changes for better or worse- the only consistent thing being that it’s never the same as it was in your time. You’re the permanent outsider, by choice, living to hide at that. So perhaps you’re not content with immortality. Instead, you’re sitting there, forcing yourself to believe it will be fine. The next century might be your lucky moment.” "Of course you wouldn't have a single idea what it is like to be immortal." Alec scoffed coldly. "I know what it is to be stuck. You made sure of that. Even then, I left you in the end. You let him rob me of tomorrow and the days after that." "What are you talking about?" Alec asked, getting increasingly annoyed by the guilt bubbling inside him, slowly rising. “Maybe for you there are countless tomorrows, but you stole mine. This day, has been endless to me. Days have passed for you but that’s how time works when you’re alive right? I am trapped in a very long day.” You sighed before narrowing your eyes on Alec, leaning forward again. "You know I never made it back to this room. So why don’t you say where (Y/N) really is?” As his mind flashbacks to the throne room, he couldn't help but notice you had spoken in the third person. 
As though hearing his thoughts, you laughed with a condescending shake of your head. "Seriously? Catch up, Alec. You have all the pieces. So put them together." Alec hit a mental wall, unwilling to think back to the day just so that you could torture him. Your next words shook him to his core.  “I’m you. Everything I say, isn’t (Y/N). You said it yourself, you said you don’t believe in ghosts. Everything we talk about, comes from your head and yours alone. These are your thoughts Alec. Although it seems that day never ended for us, so until you face this. I am (Y/n). Be honest with yourself and you’ll be rid of me...of (Y/N).” You smiled at him, a menacing smile. “So why don’t you say where (Y/N) really is?”  Alec remembered it clearly. 
The sound your body made, the thud as you hit the bottom...the bottom of the drain. "You left them down there. They are there right now. In the dark, in the cold. They're down there decaying away until those very strong chemicals eat away at them. Until there is nothing left of course. Just like the rest of them. If there is one thing we can say, at least it's consistent. All the humans end up down there in the end." You looked at him, or rather, he looked at himself. The one before him, retained your image despite the revelation. He wanted to pretend it was you. He wanted to pretend that he wasn't alone with the guilt. "There it is." You sighed. "The painful guilt. Once you realise what you've done, the consequences roll in. Here it is, our regret and guilt. The constant reminder of our (Y/N) and what we did. We let it happen. We're just as terrible." You rose to a stand. "Although we deserve this at the very least. We left (Y/N) in the dark and the cold down there...can't help but wonder if the chemicals got to them yet." You whispered the last part with a pained look. A reflection to the pain Alec was feeling. "This is the difficult part but it'll pass. They'll just be a memory soon. A memory we cant forget...everyone else can though. The others already have moved on." Alec winced slightly, recalling how no one, not even once, even mentioned you.  “So it’s just you and me then.” You wore a small but tired smile. “Or...just you.” Marcus sat on his throne, silent as always. His brothers were talking away about matters he simply didn’t care about. His stare didn’t falter, but a small ghost of a grimace grew upon his face as though it pained him to look at the darkened, empty corner of the throne room. Although, for Marcus, it wasn’t so empty. 
You and Didyme stood side by side, slightly tilted towards each other as though in conversation, all the while staring at him and unblinking. Both of you had wide grins on your faces. You had dark bruising around your upper arms and were very pale. Your eyes and cheeks sunken in slightly. Didyme had cracks along her neck that were so long they met her face and chest. Other than that, Didyme didn’t have a single hair out of place. You, on the other hand, looked disheveled. It was disturbing and how he wished you both would stop grinning at him. Didyme’s smile used to be a pleasant, as was yours upon occasion but this time, he wanted nothing more than for you both to stop smiling. It was as though you both were mocking him. Enjoying his guilt. He felt guilt that he couldn’t save Didyme and then he felt guilt that he didn’t save you. He allowed Alec to lose a mate and feel the suffering he had for all those years. How could he ever begin to forgive himself?
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lowkeyjustvibing · 3 years
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Fic time again
Pairing: Truce poly + Reaper and Epic
Prompt: Just some chaos
Also! We have:
Enby Nightmare, Reaper, and Horror
Neopronoun Error (string,strings,stringself)
aro/ace Ink and ace Reaper
Also human versions ‘cuz    y e s
*CRASH*
“YOU BETTER NOT HAVE BROKEN ONE OF MY VASES INK!”
“You’re legit dead, bruh.”
“Shut up and run before they see us!”
Nightmare stormed down the hall, their tentacles thrashing wildly and just barely avoiding breaking some things themselves. Things like this (Which were once a rarity) had become quite common ever since the truce and the events that occurred as a result. In short, after peace was finally brought to the multiverse, both the Star Sanses and the Bad Sanses both realized just how dull life was without the other group present in their lives. 
The solution? Get everyone to live in the same house.
And since Nightmare was the only one in possession of a building big enough for all of them to live in, the Star Sanses just moved in. It was difficult to get used to the sudden change in living arrangements. Fights would break out on a daily basis over small things and it would be up to someone else to keep the peace. However, once they all managed to get used to each other, things went a lot smoother.
Or rather, smoother than before.
Nightmare finally reached the living room, sighing as they saw the shards of porcelain covering the floor.
“And this was one of my favorites too.” They muttered, picking up the shards.
Thankfully, one of the nice things about being covered in sentient sludge is that it works as great glue. In a few seconds, the vase looked back to normal (If you ignored the subtle cracks covering it).
“Now where’s that clumsy squid?” They mused, scanning the room.
At that moment Dust walked in, probably having heard all the commotion as well and coming to see what happened. When he saw Nightmare, he gave a small wave before flopping onto the couch and curling up under the blankets.
“Hey!”
Nightmare jumped and Dust practically flew off the couch, immediately grabbing the pocket knife he carried, manifesting a few blasters, and pointing them at the now wriggling blankets.
Nightmare just sighed, signaling Dust to calm down, “Ink, come out from under the blankets.”
After a few minutes of silence, the artist was heard quietly cursing before sheepishly poking his head out from under the blankets, “Um, hey Nightmare?”
Suddenly, another person emerged from the blanket as well, “It’s his fault, bruh!”
Nightmare just sighed again, pinching their eyebrows, “What have I told you about roughhousing outside of the gym and your own rooms?”
“Not to...” Epic and Ink responded simultaneously, both staring at the floor.
Dust just snickered, de-summoning the blaster and putting away his knife, “What is this, the seventh time you guys have broken something just this week?”
Ink stuck his tongue out at the other, getting rewarded with a similar action. 
“That doesn’t matter,” Nightmare said, “Ink, Epic, you two are doing extra chores this week.”
“What?!” Epic cried, “I didn’t even do anything, bruh!”
“Yes, because Ink decided to break the vase with no prompting.”
Epic just huffed and folded his arms, grumbling something unintelligible. Ink looked equally annoyed but seemed to accept what Nightmare said. 
“Oh yeah, Nightmare.” Dust suddenly piped up, “I think Error wanted you. Heard string say something about Reaper harassing strings.”
“Not again...” Nightmare muttered, walking off and leaving the other three to do their own thing.
On the way to where they believed Error was, Nightmare passed Dream’s room where he was helping Horror read a story Killer had gotten them for their birthday. It had taken a while for Horror to be comfortable asking anyone to help them read. They felt embarrassed that they couldn’t read on their own due to not only being slightly dyslexic, but also having poor vision. It always Nightmare happy to see somebody helping them. After a few moments, Dream looked up and saw Nightmare. He waved, smiling brightly and Horror glanced up, waving as well. Nightmare returned the gesture before continuing down the hall, they had a job to do.
“HI NIGHTMARE!”
Nightmare jumped, their tentacles instinctively sharpening and pointing towards whoever scared them.
“OH!” Blue cried before lowering his voice, “Sorry, I forget how loud I can be sometimes.”
After recovering from the shock Nightmare smiled, ruffling Blue’s hair, “It’s fine, you just surprised me.”
Blue beamed, giving them a hug, “OK!”
They returned the hug, giving the shorter and giving him a peck on the cheek before letting go, “Forgive me for my abruptness, but I have something to take care of at the moment. See you again later.”
And with that, they left a very flustered Blue standing in the middle of the hallway. Now, to finally find Error. They thought, a determined glint in their eyes. No more distractions.
“Sup Boss.”
Nightmare just barely suppressed a groan, “Damn it.”
Killer scoffed, “Well, I didn’t realize how little you liked my presence.” 
“You know I didn’t mean that.” Nightmare responded, continuing down the hall with Killer now practically skipping along behind them.
“Then what’s got ya’ so riled up?” Killer asked.
“I’m trying to find Error but I keep getting distracted by people.”
“Why ‘re ya’ trying to find strings?”
“Dust said something about Reaper harassing strings and I want to make sure Error doesn’t kill them.”
At that, Killer instantly tensed up, though he quickly hid his reaction, “Oh, you got any idea where string is?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
Killer didn’t respond, only speeding up and quickly overtaking Nightmare. In turn, Nightmare began speeding up as well to keep up with him. They expected Killer to become worried once he found out Error was even mildly inconvenienced. Dust and Horror were also very protective of the glitch. They all saw strings as a parental figure of sorts (Along with Nightmare). 
“Calm down Killer.” Nightmare said, reaching out and grabbing his shoulder.
Killer flinched and seemed to calm down a bit but he still radiated worry and anger, “Sorry, I’m just worried about strings.”
“I am too but you just need to calm down.” They responded, “It’ll be OK.”
Killer grumbled something but agreed following right alongside Nightmare.
“I wonder where-” Nightmare was cut off by a glitched out shout of frustration followed by a surprised yelp, “Found them.”
Killer broke into a run and Nightmare just walked along after him.
“Killer! Get away before I touch you!” Reaper cried, instantly stumbling backwards upon seeing the other.
Killer just scoffed in response and turned to Error who was still glitching slightly. It was obvious string was just frustrated with the pesky god, passive aggressively turning away from them.
Reaper finally steadied, brushing themselves off, “Well, that was an unexpected turn of events.” after regaining their composure, they turned to Error and did a dramatic bow, “Forgive me for my insolence my sweet cherry blossom.”
Error ignored strings blush and the fact that parts of strings were pixelating in and out of existence, “ץєคђ ฬђคՇєשєг, ןยรՇ ๒คςк ๏ŦŦ ๒єŦ๏гє เ ๔๏ ร๏๓єՇђเภﻮ ฬє ๒๏Շђ гєﻮгєՇ.”
Reaper took that as a win and grinned, spinning on their heel and walking down the hall, “I look forward to our next encounter beautiful~!”
“Sƚυριԃ ϝʅιɾƚყ Ⴆαʂƚαɾԃ.” Error muttered, though string wouldn’t deny the smile that tugged at the corners of strings mouth.
“You OK Error?” Killer asked, careful not to be too close without permission.
String nodded, “Yҽαԋ, αʅʅ Շђєץ ԃιԃ ɯαʂ ριʂʂ ɱҽ σϝϝ. Nσƚԋιɳɠ Ⴆιɠ.”
“They’re lucky I can’t touch them or else they’d be in danger right about now.” Was all he said, scowling at the floor.
Nightmare finally stepped forward, having just been watching the interaction, “Well, I’m glad nothing too bad happened.”
“Eαʂყ ϝσɾ ყσυ ƚσ ʂαყ σƈƚσρυʂ.” String responded.
Nightmare rolled their eyes, “My goodness, I thought we were over the whole octopus ordeal.”
“Never will be goop lord!” Killer said, instantly going from brooding to playful.
They sighed in disappointment before picking Killer up with a tentacle and motioning for Error to follow, “Anyways, it’s movie night.”
“Is it my turn?!” Killer asked, swinging his legs though being careful not to kick Nightmare.
“No, Cross.” 
Killer groaned loudly, “Oh come ON! You know full well he and Epic are gonna’ make us watch the Bee Movie again.”
Nightmare just shrugged, “I don’t make the rules.”
“YES YOU DO!”
“Irrelevant.” 
Error snickered quietly at their debate, “ʏօʊ ȶաօ ʄɨɢɦȶ ʟɨӄɛ ǟռ օʟɖ ʍǟʀʀɨɛɖ ƈօʊքʟɛ.”
“Bold of you to assume we aren’t.” Killer retorted.
“I’m pretty sure we all are.”
“Whatever.”
They walked in silence for a moment before Nightmare turned and rapped loudly on a nearby door, “Epic, Cross, stop making out and come to the living room. It’s movie night.”
After a few moments of frantic shuffling from inside the room, Cross opened the door, looking quite disheveled, “H-hey Nightmare, we’ll be out in a minute.”
Somewhere inside the dimly lit bedroom a frantic voice whispered, “Close the damn door, bruh!”
Killer burst out laughing, Error barely kept stringself from glitching out from laughter, and Nightmare chuckled before closing the door in Cross’s flushed face. 
“Oh they are NEVER living this down!” Killer wheezed and barely managed to pat the tentacle holding him, “H-here, just put me d-down, I need to go tell the other two.” he wheezed out.
Nightmare set him down and after a few moments of trying to catch his breath, he was off, jogging down the halls and calling for Horror and Dust. After he was out of sight, Nightmare turned to Error.
“So,” They started, “Are you SURE you’re OK?”
Error looked at them in confusion for a moment before nodding, “Yҽαԋ, ʝυʂƚ ɠσƚ ƈαυɠԋƚ σϝϝ Ⴆყ Rҽαρҽɾ. I'ɱ ϝιɳҽ ɳσɯ.”
“Alright,” Nightmare responded, giving strings a soft kiss on the forehead, “but if they ever make you uncomfortable just tell them to back off. They’re a clingy flirt but they know to respect boundaries.”
String was now a blushing mess and Nightmare reveled in that fact, deciding to fluster strings more. 
“I hope you know I love you.” They mumbled, moving closer to Error (Who thankfully didn’t move back)
String was glitching hard, not from how close the other was, but from how flustered strings was.
Nightmare decided to continue, embracing strings in a loose hug, “You’re so wonderful, I could never live without you.”
“₦-₦ł₲Ⱨ₮₥₳ⱤɆ...” Error responded and upon hearing how bad string was glitching, Nightmare backed off slightly.
After a few moments, string pulled them back into another hug, burying strings head into their shoulder. Nightmare was caught off guard but smiled and proceeded to hum quietly while holding the other. They occasionally gave more compliments just to see Error get flustered again while they both stood there in the empty hallway. After some time, Nightmare found themself wanting to make the other all the more flustered, just to see what would happen. They lifted a hand to strings cheek and moved strings so that they were face to face. The only warning Error got was a mischievous look in Nightmare’s eyes before their lips met. It was brief, nothing too long so as to not cause Error to crash, but Nightmare savored the brief moment.
After a few minutes of stunned silence, Error’s cheeks began to burn. String glitched sharply, trying not to crash as Nightmare began to regret the impulsive decision.
“Are you O-” Nightmare started but was stopped as Error, in a similar moment of impulsivity, kissed them again.
Now it was Nightmare’s turn to be caught off guard but they weren’t about to waste this. They kissed back and absentmindedly began fiddling with strings hair. 
That was until they heard the sound of a phone camera clicking and snickering from a bit down the hall. They both instantly looked over and saw Cross and Epic snickering as Epic pointed his phone at them. The effect was instantaneous. Error crashed, scratchy dial up noise filling the hall and Nightmare’s tentacles sharpened and pointed towards the other two as their cheeks turned bright red.
“Go.” Was all they said and Cross instantly grabbed Epic and sprinted down the hall, cursing as he ran.
Nightmare uttered a few curses themself and turned back to Error who was still rebooting. It took a minute but string eventually finished, blinking a few times to clear the lingering pixels and error signs.
“₮ⱧØ₴Ɇ Ⱡł₮₮ⱠɆ ₳**ⱧØⱠɆ₴!” String cried, the glitches returning for a moment before calming down.
“Calm down Error.” Nightmare said, barely retaining their own composure, “It’s not like they can even do much with that picture anyways.”
String muttered something incomprehensible before just groaning and resting strings head on Nightmares shoulder, “ƈǟռ ʏօʊ ǟȶ ʟɛǟֆȶ ƈǟʀʀʏ ʍɛ? ɨ'ʍ ȶɨʀɛɖ ռօա.”
“Of course.” They responded, doing something similar to what they did with Killer and carrying strings in their tentacles.
They had discovered that while physical contact still caused strings to glitch occasionally, somehow their tentacles didn’t seem to trigger it. So, of course, whenever Error crashed and was too tired to walk much, they would always carry strings in his tentacles. As they walked, Error sighed contentedly and buried strings head in the mass of pure negativity. Nightmare couldn’t help feeling proud that they found a way to practically smother Error while not hurting strings, something very few could accomplish. They eventually got to the theatre room where everyone was either chatting amongst themselves or engaged in the giant pillow fight occurring in the middle of the room.
“Are we watching a movie or...?” Nightmare said, their voice seeming to magically project to every corner of the room and quelling all the chaos.
“I’ll get popcorn!” Dream said, jumping to his feet and running to the kitchen as Blue and Horror followed. 
Nightmare sat Error down gently on the couch, making sure string was comfortable before moving around the scattered cushions and sitting next to strings. It took a few minutes for the other three to get back and by then, the movie was already chosen. As expected, it was the Bee Movie. Everyone was either howling with laughter or completely enraged by this development. The popcorn bowls were distributed across the couch and floor where everyone was sitting and the movie started. No one was watching the movie. Instead, they were all either talking or cuddling with the nearest person. Nightmare did the same and cradled Error in their tentacles along with Blue, who just happened to be sitting nearby, and reading a book.
The thing that snapped them out of the world of the thick novel was loud snickers coming from one side of the room. Killer, Horror, Cross, and Epic were all just barely keeping from bursting out laughing at something Ink was showing them. Out of curiosity, Nightmare reached out with a spare tentacle and snatched the sketch book, earning an indignant shout from Ink. They ignored it and opened the sketchbook, skipping past a few other, incredibly well done, drawing to what the other four were looking at. 
So to say that they were shocked upon going from a drawing of a forest the looked like it was a picture and not hand drawn to some horrible amalgamation of Barry B. Benson and Shrek was an understatement.
Error (Who just recently woke up) and Blue saw the drawing and started snickering as well. Nightmare just stared at it in disgust and confusion.
“I don’t understand why you waste your incredible talent on such horrendous things.” Was all they said before giving the sketchbook back.
“Whatever Mr. Grumpy Pants.” Ink huffed, holding the book close to his chest as if someone else was about to take it as well.
After the laughter died down they all returned to what they had been doing. It was still odd to many of them. The fact that some were sitting side by side with who used to be their mortal enemies was still a foreign concept but it wasn’t unwelcome. 
“Love you guys.” Dust whispered and everyone in the room looked at him in surprise.
After a few moments of Dust feeling incredibly self conscious about the fact that everyone was staring him down, Error responded.
“ʟօʋɛ ʏօʊ ɢʊʏֆ ȶօօ.” String said, cuddling closer into Nightmare.
A chorus of “Love you”s Rose from around the room as they all relaxed, enjoying the feeling of peaceful quiet. Well, at least until tomorrow when they were all reenergized and ready to cause more trouble.
--------------------
I FINALLY FISHING FINISHED OH MY GOSH
This took SO long to do (Almost completely because I procrastinated so long-) and I’m glad I finally finished it! 
I hope this makes yalls as happy as it made me while I wrote it :)
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High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 5
Technically, I shouldn't be doing this right now. But who are we kidding? I miss my Wildcats and this seems like the only thing I can do to see them again right now. So here goes
1x8: The contractually obligated emotional rollercoaster
This episode sure is a lot... I don't know if I'm ready. But it makes no sense to skip this one. I never skip through stuff I love, even when some parts are borderline traumatising. Plus I remember this episode having a bunch of hilarious moments that are definitely worth it.
'I'm really not sure what to say' — Me neither, Miss Jenn, me neither. I'm just sitting here watching this and I know I'm supposed to comment, but I just can't think of what to say. Sometimes the silence just speaks for itself.
'The Lucky Ducky Puppet Pavilion' — I can never overlook that line. Not when I know how much it took for Matt to deliver it. Fun fact: one of my cats is called Lucky, so when his siblings were about to be born, I briefly considered naming them Ducky, Puppet and Pavilion as a joke.
Ah, the El Rey. The place where Miss Jenn totally did not suffer a professional heartbreak. Things are about to get real here. And by real I mean... real dramatic.
I've got to say, I love the duality of Big Red (well, I do love everything about him so that was a no-brainer, but still): doesn't know how to hang a light, but sure does know how to light up a room; amazing with power tools, but took three weeks to make a paper-mache basketball because he kept gluing his fingers together (that last part is far more relatable than I care to admit). I just love him, ok?
The way Carlos acts about Miss Jenn's box of production notes... honestly, I totally get it. I feel like if there's one person at that point who cares about the show much more than anyone else, it's him. And I fully understand why that is. That poor boy has been lonely for too long, and this show is giving him the chance to be part of an accepting community for what feels like the first time in a long time. Just... give my boy Carlito all the hugs.
For a place that allegedly hasn't been used in so long, the El Rey is not nearly dusty enough. I mean, you should see my room if I forget to hoover for longer than a week. And we're talking about years here. There's allegedly mould in that place, but I don't even see dust. Oh well, maybe I would, if it weren't for that lighting — or lack thereof, more like.
'Whatever it says in Miss Jenn's audition file, I am me, and that is the only me I need to be.' — A beautiful sentiment, my dearest EJ. Now maybe hold on to it for a while... just a suggestion.
'Lacks emotional connection to the material' — well, I do have to agree. My first impression of EJ when I was watching the first couple of episodes for the first time was that he was 'too polished to be Troy'. Too much Technician, too little Performer. And I do love my Performers over my Technicians.
Wait, is that a Redlyn background moment I see? I mean, everything is super chaotic and fast-paced, and my two ginger babies are just sitting together on the side of it all. Bonding, I assume. Good for them.
Seb being the only one to know why Natalie is absent, along with the two of them sitting together in 1x1, makes me think... Natalie and Seb are totally besties! I mean, he's basically besties with everyone he ever talks to, so... what can I say, that boy is sunshine incarnate. He deserves all the love and appreciation.
'I know how to hang... out' — gosh, I love this one. And I can only hope everyone was laughing with him, not at him. Because there's nothing to laugh at. My boy got dragged into this whole crew stuff, it's not his fault he doesn't know everything. He's more of an on-stage person than a backstage person anyway. Maybe put him in the spotlight next time and prepare to get your socks knocked off.
No, Ash, your baking club is not at all irrelevant! Honestly, I have nothing but immense admiration for how Ashlyn manages to be in the top two students most dedicated to theatre and do all those other extracurriculars. And she probably has a 4.-something GPA, too. I don't know what the Caswells are feeding their children, but I need it this instant.
'I just don't know how to make things light up' — 'You walk into a room?' — I just... this is one of my favourite Redlyn moments in the history of Redlyn. See, the thing about Ashlyn's line here is the tone in which she says it. She doesn't mean it as a compliment, but as a statement of the absolute truth. You can hear that in her voice. And with good reason, too, because she isn't lying at all. My boy Reddy sure does light up a room by walking into it. Both of them do, really. They're soulmates, you know.
'This place is not creepy at all...' — Yeah, and things between Ricky and Nini are not totally awkward at all, either. I'm living for this.
'I can do Troy!' — Sure you can, Eej. Sure you can. Emotional connection to the material and all.
Ok, but this entire scene... Carlos marking Gabriella's lines completely flatly, EJ emoting like he's in a freaking telenovela and also chopping onions... Carlos' reaction to the latter... I'm living for all of this.
Big Red just suddenly appearing next to Miss Jenn has me rolling... and also kind of wishing he could appear like that next to me too. I mean, it's not like I've visualised that so many times... certainly not every time I have to pass by a stray dog, or give a blood sample, or talk to people, or whatever... why do you ask?
'I never really loved the name Nina anyway' — listen, I relate to the sentiment of not being super fond of your given name, but... what was that stuff in s2 about, then? I mean, I do understand that too, but the two just seem to clash a bit, I reckon. That's all.
Also, can we talk about Rini's chemistry and how it's sometimes there and sometimes nowhere to be found? I think I've figured it out. Every time the chemistry is there, they're talking about or doing things that are not necessarily inherently romantic. Reminiscing about kindergarten, how they gave each other their nicknames, 'the ribbon in your hair, the secrets that we shared, the way that you would stare at me across the room' (yeah, I went there, and for a good reason)... see, Ricky and Nini have that kind of thing going on where, however hard you try, you just can't be indifferent to the other person. It's obvious that they love each other so much, but whenever they try to make it romantic, something goes south. What I'm saying is, when you're really good friends with somebody and you try to force it into something 'more', or better said, something else (because romance is not inherently 'more' than friendship and you can pry that out of my cold dead aro hands), and the operating word here is 'force', things are bound to go wrong and even reach toxic territory. And Rini are living proof of that. Some people are just better as friends, and sometimes the entire 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' trope is very valid. I just want them to be best buddies, is that too much to ask?
Bless Steph for pushing Kourtney forward when Miss Jenn needed someone to sing! Honestly, it's moments like these that make me feel like the background characters are criminally underrated. I realise not every character can be equally central to the plot, but with this cast, I kind of want them to be. I have the feeling that most, if not all of the one-line characters in this show are people with just as much talent and potential as the main cast. They deserve recognition, you know.
Going off of the above, Dara Reneé is living proof of the point I just made. You know how Kourtney was supposed to be a one-scene wonder with two lines? And then Dara showed up and hiding her in the background was instantly out of the question. I wonder how many more hidden gems there are in the show, just sitting in the background, delivering their single line and waiting their turn in the semi-metaphorical wings.
'I just need a minute, or a vacation, it's not clear' — Me, all the time. Especially after I read chapter 11 of @redlyncentral's Let It Go. That ending broke me. And this line by Miss Jenn just reminded me of that feeling, even if what she's feeling right now might not be the exact same thing I went through with that chapter the other day. That being said, everyone go check out my lovely friend's writing right now, I promise you it's worth every second.
'We're going to take a... long five' — What, no 'thank you, five'? I was expecting that. But I guess everyone is a little bit too distraught for that now.
I have to hand it to Carlos — even when he's very obviously uncomfortable and lowkey scared of some people, he just goes up to them and calls them out. I wish I could ever be bold enough to do that.
Wow, not EJ thrashing Carlos' 'forest of boys' idea. Again. I don't get why everyone dislikes it so much, I think it's brilliant visual poetry and should have been given a chance. I said what I said.
You know, everyone has been calling the show out for saying HSM premiered in the cinema, not on telly like it did in real life; and I have been agreeing with that sentiment. But notice how Miss Jenn said 'the Utah premiere' and how there were family and friends in the audience? What if that was some sort of semi-private screening for cast, crew and their family members? It would make sense. And of course, it was held in Utah because that was where the show was filmed and where the majority of background actors, dancers and extras are from. Idk, but it makes sense to me. Note that I have very limited knowledge of how the period between post-production and the release of a movie works.
Isn't Ashlyn the best, though, always noticing when someone is not ok, hearing them out, helping them... I wish I could be half as good a friend as she is. She and Big Red are totally soulmates in that, too. And they deserve each other more than anyone else deserves them, honestly. I just love both of them so much, both as individuals and as a couple, and I cannot be made to shut up about that just yet.
I've got to say, the entire 'me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me' - 'you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you' thing was super funny. And it makes me love Rini — strictly as friends — even more. You know, I think I used to ship them during s1 because the script wanted me to. Exactly like I didn't notice Big Red until midway through the season because the script didn't want me to. Sometimes the script, the acting, the directing and other stuff has immense power over viewers' perception of a show's plot and characters. And that is, as I always point out, what rewatches are for — noticing things that may have escaped you the first time over.
Yeah, so Nini was Ricky's first crush. So what? Many people have had crushes on their best friend at some point or another. That doesn't necessarily mean they're better off as a couple than they are as friends. The opposite idea is just amatonormativity speaking. I mean, sometimes it's nice and it works out; I love me some well-written best-friends-to-lovers, but that's just not always the case and the media should stop pushing the idea that platonic relationships are in any way inferior to romantic ones.
I've got to say I really don't like it when someone interrupts two people's romantic moment (and Big Red is not exempt from my frustration in such cases even though I love him so much — just think of the In a Heartbeat scene), but honestly, bless Reddy for not letting Ricky and Nini kiss. I mean, I know full well they do kiss later on (and how!), but it's just nice to have semi-platonic Rini for a while. If and when we get season 3 (manifesting!), I really hope we get more of them putting some stuff behind them and just being best buddies.
Kourtney and Seb's friendship is honestly goals and I really wish we'd got some more of it. Just another thing to add to my season 3 wishlist. Along with, you know, an actual season 3.
EJ saying all those nice (and very true) things to Carlos has my heart (or, well, he's renting it temporarily from Redlyn and Seblos, but you know). And Carlos really was like 'A for effort, C for execution', and I adore him for that. But EJ is seriously growing. He's pretty much reached EJ 1.8 at this point, and I love to see it.
Say what you want about the Lucas Grabeel dream sequence, but I love, love, love it. Completely unironically. I mean, he's kind of my favourite OG cast member. And the 'I'm more of a Glinda' comment referencing Kate Reinders actually being one of the BWay Glindas? Here's a note from when I first watched 1x1: The drama teacher won’t stop spilling her coffee and I love her. Also, her actress was Glinda on Broadway, so I stan. See, I didn't even know Miss Jenn's name yet and I already loved her. But then she went and did some stuff in s2 and ruined all of that. Add 'proper Miss Jenn redemption' to my s3 wishlist, I guess. But I'm getting off-track (when am I not?)
I only just noticed that all of the iconic BWay leads mentioned in the song (sans Glinda, of course, but that wasn't even a proper part of the song) start with an E. I wonder if that was on purpose or a lucky accident...
'And you never know when you'll get a cameo...' — If anyone in the HSM franchise knows anything about making the most of a cameo, it's Lucas. I'm referring to his post-credits scene in Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, of course. That is one of my absolute favourite scenes in the entire movie. Well, that and The Rest of My Life. I very unironically love that number.
Another thing on the list of things I very unironically love — the transitions both into and out of this scene. I just think they're neat.
Have I mentioned before how much I love it that Carlos' response every time someone asks where he has to be is 'Broadway'... it just reminds me a lot of Seb's 'Friendship!' — that's some soulmate stuff right there, if you ask me.
'I just... almost did something really stupid' — Yes, Nini, yes it was very stupid. And you're going to do it anyway. You wouldn't if I had any say in this, but I don't and so here we are. In a world where Rini are a romantic thing, Redlyn get 5 minutes of screentime in s1 and two major moments demoted to post-credits scenes, Seblos haven't even properly discussed their issues, and Portwell didn't even kiss on screen. I lowkey hate it here. Still, I feel like things are going in the right direction. If we get a season 3, that is — and we better be getting it, or I will riot and I know I won't be the only one.
No but... just imagine if Kourtney hadn't called YAC for Nini, but for herself. There's so much potential there... and I think Kourtney and Ashlyn deserved that spot every bit as much as Nini did, and then some. I said what I said.
Well, this was 1x8. This post is already way too long, plus I want to do a double feature of the last two whenever I get to rewatching them, so I'm ending this here. It was just as much of a journey as I remembered it being, and not nearly as negative as I had the feeling it would be. I absolutely loved it, you know. And with good reason too.
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