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tarjapearce · 10 months

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Strawberry Jam (+18)

Dad friend AU!Miguel x fem!reader

Inspired in THIS ask <3 Thanks anon. Hope you like c:

PT. 2

WARNING: SMUT, Age gap, breeding kink, fang kink, choking, rough sex, brief tension, slight fluff.

"Rise and shine, cupcake!" Curtains were drawn out as sunlight seeped in your dim lit room. You groaned in response, trying to cocoon yourself under the sheets.

"C'mon, sweetie. I gotta meet a client in a coupe of hours, need you awake to receive some packages." Silence. He sighed, "I'll bring you some flan." You yawned and smiled. Of course he would, you were his spoiled girl. He had raised you well despite the rocky relationship with your mother.

Someone that had decided to not be a part of your life for quite a while, leaving your dad a good chunk of the responsibility. At least, she provided enough for your college. An agreement that had settled up a long time ago by a judge.

"Make it napolitan, please" He chuckled and kissed your temple. "Oh, forgot to mention, Miguel is coming over to help you."

"Miguel?"

And of course, it had put a toll on his mental health, during the last couple of years. As a father, your father, he was anything but perfect, but he made sure to be there, to always support you. He had met Miguel in one of those support groups for men, and things sort of snowballed from there. Your dad and Miguel had alot in common, single parents, demanding jobs, and unconditional love for their daughters.

You had the chance to meet him a couple of times during college vacations, at first he was intimidating to you. 6'9", a hard look on his face that seemed to only melt away with his close ones, and a hulking muscular figure.

But now, every time you visited you'd find his blue Aston Martin Vanquish parked outside your house, beer in hand, screaming at the screen as a soccergame was on. He wasn't a stuck up guy (Like your neighbors had described him once), despite having flooding money in his account.

His daughter was in one of the best private schools in town after all, thanks to his job at Alchemax. He even got you a lovely gold necklace for your 21st birthday after ruffling your hair, something that annoyed you, since you weren't a child. He had came into your lives' two years ago.

"Yeah,some of the packages are his. He was out of town to get them, so I offered to receive them." The doorbell rang, announcing his presence. Your dad left and you sat on your bed and checked your phone.

Of course, your friends would be always asking about him, one of them even dared to ask if you had fucked him already once they saw you wearing the golden necklace. You knew he was off limits. Mostly out of respect for your dad, and of course, the weird feeling that he just saw you as his friend's daughter.

You stood up to prepare for the day, as uneventful as it would be. Hot shower with sweet smelling products, to then change into a pair of gray sweatpants, bunny slippers and a tanktop, washed your teeth and brushed your damp hair. Then, you came down the stairs only to find Miguel sitting across your dad on the kitchen island, mug of steaming coffee on hands.

"Morning" you greeted him with a pat on the shoulder as you put a bagel into the toaster and served yourself some orange juice.

"Buenos días" Miguel greeted, his eyes following you as you moved through the kitchen. Your house was homey, cozy and perfect for the suburban life. Miguel wore a black buttoned jersey, dark jeans and dress shoes. A black belt accentuating his waist.

"Gotta go then, You're in charge" Your dad spoke, and patted his sturdy shoulder to then leave. You rolled your eyes.

"Anyways, want breakfast?"

"No, Thank you." His eyes were focused on the newspaper before him, that until you bent over to search for jam in the lower cabinets. His eyes were immediately to your rear. he sipped his coffee and hummed. The thin straps of the tank top slid off your shoulder. He closed his eyes, engraving the image in his mind. You sat across him, breakfast on a plate.

"Whatcha getting?" you munched in the bagel, a bit of jam smearing in the corner of your lips. Instinctively, he licked his own.

"Some playground for Gabriela." you nodded as you relished the flavor of your bagel. Licking off, the strawberry jam off your stained fingers. His eyes wandering to the way your lips trapped your fingers, the gold necklace adorning your little neck. It looked almost inviting.

"Glad to see you liked it. Gold looks good on you." You didn't know how his shirts fit him so well without bursting or tearing. His back had been lately the object of your new hyperfixation. You had seen jacked up guys in college, but Miguel was certainly in a whole different level.

"Thanks. It got me into a bit of trouble back in college actually." you snorted and drank your orange juice.

"How come?"

"Well,my friends think that I've got myself a sugar daddy."

His eyes twinkled in amusement, an idea seemed to be popping in his mind.

"Funny they think that when you still keep smearing jam on your face. Come here" He took your hand and pulled you across the kitchen island, even though he was sitting, he still towered over you. You barely reached his chin. He cupped your face, your sweet breath fanned his lips. He pouted as his face inched closer.

"Pero qué muchachita tan desastrosa." He mumbled, as he wiped the jam off the corner of your lips to then lick it off his finger. Your eyes went wide, cheeks flushed as you swallowed.

"D-Dad would kill you if he'd see you like this"

"Good thing he isn't around, hm?"

"You're the same age" your voice almost a whisper as he kept cupping your face with a single hand as the other one pulled you closer to him, "You could even be my father!"

Your heart thumped hard against your chest, his warm, coffee-like smelling breath brushed over your lips.

"But I'm not." his hands roamed your shoulders, the straps of your tanktop peeled away under his touch, the fabric slid lower and lower as it hovered over the curvature of your breast.

The doorbell rang. You both froze.

"Puta madre…" he seethed and stood, towering even more over you, "I'll get it. Stay put."

"But-"

"Stay.Put." His finger pointing at you as he disappeared back to the livingroom.

Your mind was still trying to process what just happened. You could hear Miguel exchange peasantries with the delivery man as he received an array of boxes. Your straps were slid back on their original position, and your phone buzzed. "Dad <3" on screen. You picked up.

"Hey"

"Hello, how's everything going?"

"Dad it's just been twenty minutes. But at least the packages just came."

"Careful with a small box, it has some fragile things."

The main door was closed.

"Oh? ok. Uh… You coming home soon?"

"Why, is there a problem?"

Big hands covered your shoulders to pull the upper part of the tanktop down, breast spilled from their confinement. Miguel's hands cupped them and gave gentle squeezes as his mouth kissed your neck.

"N-No, no no. Just asking so I can make-" You bit your lip, drowning a gasp as he toyed with your nipples, "E-Enough lunch for both"

Your hand covered your mouth as his teeth grazed your skin. Somthing you found interesting about Miguel was the fact he seemed to have larger canines than the average people. Whenever he was angry, you could see a glimpse of his pointy teeth underneath his plump lips.

He gave soft love bites, licking the skin. Your skin shivered.

"Ah, don't you worry about it, I might get there until night it seems. Anyways, see ya later, love you cupcake."

Miguel stopped for a moment.

"Love you too." You hung up the call, Miguel removed the phone from your hands and twirled you around to kiss you deeply. His hands fisting your hair to hold you in place as his tongue invaded your mouth with such expertise it made your legs feel like jelly. You gasped as she pressed you closer to his body, warmth spreading all over yours.

Miguel nipped at your bottom lip, and placed you ontop of the kitchen island with ease, bunny slippers falling off your feet as they dangled. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed the piece of cloth on the dining table.

"W-Wait! Shouldn't we better go-"

"Shh." His fingers hooked on the hem of your sweatpants and pulled down along your panties. Smooth skin revealed to his eyes. He pulled your hips closer and dragged a finger down your folds to then ease it inside you slowly. He hissed at the moist and warm feeling, he retrieved the finger back and licked it clean, groaning.

"Riquísimo, preciosa" His hands maneuvered your legs like a toy, he spreaded them to then push them back to expose even more flesh. Your mouth fell open as he dribbled the tip of his tongue around the knub of nerves and then drag it down and up your entrance.

Yelping, you held tight on the sturdiness of the island. His mouth disappeared between your slick folds, your breath caught in your throat as he sucked eagerly at your clit while his tongue flickered.

Your sweet coos and moanings only urged him to hold on you tightly, he moved his head to the sides increasing the intensity of his eating. Your hips grind against his tongue, seeking for relief, but he stopped you, a choked whine from your throat.

"Look at you" He put your hips back on the cold tiles, to then unbuckling his belt. "What would your dad think if he saw you like this?" He pulled you off the island, to then bend you over it. One of his feet, kicked away the clothes.

"All spread for me, eager to be filled up" He slapped your pusy softly as he pulled his underwear and pants down, also kicking them away, "Wanna make him a grandpa?" Your eyes went wide, panic surged through your mind but he pushed your torso flat against the cold surface. His legs separating your own.

His fingers prodded inside once more before coating his cock and as gently as he could, eased his way inside you. The stretching of his cock had you biting your lip and gripping softly at his wrist.

"Ohmy god" you half whimpered, slurred as he filled you completely.

"Estás tan apretada, mami" He kneaded your trembling hips. One hand held you in place as the other one twisted in your lowered tanktop. His hips rolled slowly. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable enough before his hips smacked yours with enough force to make you lurch forward, air knocked out of your lungs. You were on your tip toes. His hand slapped your ass as it bounced back and forth on his cock.

"Such a good girl" he grunted and sunk his nails on your hips, "Te voy a coger tan bien que cada vez que entres a este lugar, te acuerdes de mi." His hand freed the tanktop to take a fistful of your hair and pulled back. He had gone to ruffle your hair, to pull it.

Your arching gave him the perfect spot to ram into. So ever tight and hot. You hissed as an array of lewd cursing flew out your mouth. His balls slapped your flesh mercilessly.

"Con esa boca le dices a tu papá que lo amas?" he clicked his tongue in feigned disapproval. He let your hip go, hands immediately hooking underneath your right thigh and hoisted it up, spreading you like a book, pounding deeper and rougher into you.

Your pants and desperate moanings drowned his growling. Your body felt on fire, a thin layer of sweat covered your body, his torso glistened in sweat. His front bangs had fell onto his face by the constant movement.

You held onto his forearm, contorting your torso up, to see his lust blown face. His hands made sure to hold you tightly, preventing from falling. Big eyes stared at him, too lost in sinful thoughts as he pressed closer, deeper into you.

"Fuck me" You choked a sob as your orgasm approached. Your voice too coarse from the constant mewling.

"Just like this, mami?" he breathed before hoisting your leg a bit wider, you whimpered, nodded and clawed at his arms. You begged him to not stop, your orgasm was around the corner as he rawed you silly.

Your inner thighs and outher flesh were flushed by the constant rough slapping of his hips, the hand that held your leg, snaked its way towards your neck, squeezing tighly, your leg dangled and swayed at the rythm of his thrust.

"Come for daddy, preciosa" he groaned as his thrustings turned erratic and sloppier, slickness rolling down your sopping pussy and inner thighs.

"Fuck fuck fuckfu-" He let your leg go and held you tightly against him. your feet barely touching the floor, your torso once more flat against the cool tiles of the island as he painted your walls white with a guttural growl. It earned him a shaky and loud mewl.

"Te ves tan bella así, toda llena de mí." He picked you up and kissed you on the lips, "You alright?"

You nodded and panted, legs trembling.

"We gotta… clean up" he nodded with a smirk.

---------------

"Hey cupcake?"

"Hm?" You were sat on the solo couch, browsing through your phone as Miguel sat in the couch nearby. Your dad had arrived an hour after you were done cleaning yourselves. Something that had nearly turned into round two if it wasn't for the fact that your dad had called in to announce he was on his way back.

"Did you cook something?"

"Eh no, why?"

"Kitchen smells funky." Your eyes widened, as Miguel went stiff. You had been too engrossed in eachother that barely had the time to clean after your mess. Your dad went back to the kitchen to get himself a beer. It had been an uneventful evening for him, he was gone two hours but it was good enough for him to get a new sponsor to his remodeling contractors firm.

You shared a nervous glance with Miguel. Your dad groaned annoyed.

"(Name)"

Uh Oh. He only used your name when he was pissed.

"Yes, dad?"

"Look, your… sex life is none of my concern, really. But from all the places you could… do such thing, was the kitchen necessary? And you, I told you to keep an eye on her." He scowled at Miguel. You hung your head in embarrasment as Miguel chuckled with his hands up defensively.

"Who was it?"

"W-What?"

"Whose the guy, so I can talk to him, to not pull this… stunt again. You're better than that, (Name)"

"Hey, relax. Go easy on her." Miguel spoke

"Shut up, O'Hara."

"C'mon, you probably acted worse when you were her age. Remember when you told me about the time you-"

"Miguel, stop." Your face went as red as a tomato and your dad sighed. He looked between you and Miguel, and you could swear the five stages of grief going through his face at the sudden realization.

"You fucked my daughter…"

"Dad, stop!"

"Dad, nothing! Go to your room, now."

"You can't ground me, I'm old enough to-"

"To what? Be a step mom? Fuck older guys that could be your father? You don't know what you are getting into, young lady."

"You out of everyone know that I'll never do something that would put her in danger."

"Miguel, I don't know how your brain works right now, but You.Fucked.My.Daughter. My Daughter! The last thing I want is her being a mother before she finishes college."

"She won't be. That's a promise."

"Damn right it is, cause you won't be seeing her anymore."

"W-What? Dad!"

"I thought you were in your room, like I fucking told you."

"Don't talk to her like that." Miguel frowned

"My daughter, my house, my rules. You need to leave."

"You're angry, I get it. It was wrong of me to cross you like that, but she is old enough to know what she wants. I would never force her to do something she doesn't wants to do." Miguel spoke with his hands still in defense.

"For how long have you… been doing this?"

"It was the first time, actually" you spoke meekly from the doorframe.

"Like, you're always complaining about the few guys I introduce you to-"

"This is different!" you had never seen him so serious and angry.

Silence stretching too long, your dad sighed, annoyed.

"I fucking… I fucking swear, O'Hara. If you get her pregnant, I'll fucking kill you."

"Relax, I'm not making you a grandpa." Your dad's shoulder slumped, defeated.

"Yet." They went tense again.

"Oh my god." Your need to be swallowed by the earth underneath and to spit you away from them only increased as their conversation kept unfolding.

"So, now the surprise has been popped, that means I have your permission to properly date her?" Your dad rubbed his face tiredly.

"I wanna make things right." Miguel glanced at you.

"I've known you for a couple of years, and you've met her ever since she was eighteen. You're not a bad man, but trust me when I say that if this girl, my girl, comes here with tears in her face because you did something stupid to her, we're done. Understood?"

"Por supuesto" he went to your side and pulled you closer.

"And clean up this fucking mess."

He left to his room and left you alone. Of course you'd talk to him later, when everything was a bit more calm. Miguel on the other hand kissed your temple and sighed in relief.

"So…"

"Sunday night, at 6 for dinner?"

"Sure."

"Don't worry, he'll be fine. Just give him time to get used to it."

"What if he never gets used to it?"

he kissed your hand

"You'll come with me"

------------------------

Buenos días- Good Morning

Pero qué muchachita tan desastrosa- What a messy girl

Puta madre- Fucking shit

Riquísimo, preciosa- So delicious, gorgeous

Estás tan apretada,mami - You're so tight, mami

Te voy a coger tan bien que cada vez que entres a este lugar, te acuerdes de mi- I'll fuck you so good that every time you enter this place, you'll remember me

Con esa boca le dices a tu papá que lo amas?- With that mouth you tell daddy you love him?

Te ves tan bella así, toda llena de mí - You look so beautiful like that, all full of me.

Por supuesto- Of course.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #female reader #atsv x reader #atsv fanfiction #atsv smut #spider man 2099 smut

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cutielando · 5 months

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thank you ~ rafe cameron

my masterlist

Rafe was a lot of things, but you'd have never thought that he was a hopeless romantic.

When you first started dating, he wasn't overly affectionate or loving per se, just like you expected him to be.

However, that all changed after he confided in you about his problems with his father. More specifically, after you caught the two of them in an argument.

He had texted you in the morning asking you to meet up later in the evening to have a sleepover, but you had arrived 2 hours earlier to surprise him.

"God damn it, Rafe!" you heard a booming voice shouting as soon as you opened your car's door.

Just as you closed it and went to get your things from the trunk, you heard glass shattering from inside.

Assuming the worst, you immediately ran inside towards the noise, which proved to be coming from the kitchen.

When your boyfriend came into your view, you couldn't help but gasp.

His eyes were bloodshot, he had a massive bruise covering his jaw, he had a busted lip and his knuckles were bloodied and bruised.

"What happened?" you asked, walking in and seeing Ward on the floor and some broken glass underneath him.

The two men looked at each other, both of them fuming.

Rafe said nothing as he took your hand and led you up the stairs to his bedroom, not saying a single word the entire time.

"Are you okay?" you asked him once you were alone in his room.

He didn't say anything but looked at you with the most broken expression you'd ever seen. He looked so small, so fragile just standing there after being to a pulp by his own father.

"No" his voice broke as he managed to utter out a single word.

You sighed and pulled him into your arms, your hands running up and down his back. He was holding onto you for dear life, like you were going to vanish from his arms in the next second.

He started sobbing into your neck, letting out everything he had been keeping bottled up for a long time. Your shirt was soaked by his tears, but you couldn't care less.

Rafe needed you and you didn't care about anything else other than him.

You stayed like that for a good 15 minutes before he started to calm down and his sobs quieted down.

"Do you want me to run you a bath? You could lay on me and just relax in the warm water" you whispered in his ear, afraid that speaking any louder would disturb the quiet atmosphere.

"Yeah, I'd like that" he said, slowly pulling away from you.

You gave him a small smile, trying to show him that you were there for him and everything was going to be okay. You weren't leaving his side until he felt better.

He gave you a smile back and leaned down to peck your lips slightly, any more contact hurting his busted lip.

You stepped out of his arms and quickly worked your way around his bathroom, lighting some candles and choosing some bath bombs to put in the water.

"Baby? The bath is ready" you told him as you stuck your head through the bathroom door.

He slowly stood up and undressed as you did the same, folding his clothes and putting them on the washing machine.

You got in the tub first and leaned against it while Rafe got in after and laid with his back against your chest.

"You're too good for me" he whispered as you kept tracing imaginary lines on his chest with your nails, trying your best to calm him down.

"No, I'm not. You deserve the best life has to offer. You're such a kind soul, baby. You came into my life and made it so much better, gave it a meaning and someone to keep fighting for. Baby, I love you so damn much, it's you and I until the end of the road. I'll always be here when you need me and you will always have my support in everything. Don't ever doubt that" you finished your speech by kissing his neck and cheek.

You couldn't see it but Rafe had tears in his eyes, but this time they were happy tears.

He never thought he would find someone who would want to be with him despite his many flaws, his anger issues, his jealousy problems, his family problems, everything.

But here you were, loving him for who he was, with his flaws and problems, with everything that he represented. And he couldn't be more grateful for you, for coming into his life and showing him that he deserved to be loved and showing him what love really was.

"I love you too, so fucking much, Y/N. I can't even understand why you are with me but I am so damn grateful you are. I can't live without you, baby. My life is not the same without you in it and I will do everything in my power to keep you and make you happy because you deserve the best. Thank you, for everything, baby"

He turned his head and kissed your lips, sealing a silent agreement between the both of you that neither of you was going anywhere.

You were in it for the long haul and nothing could change that.

Nothing and nobody could come between the two of you and your love.

Nothing.

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allwaswell16 · 1 month

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A fic rec of my favorite One Direction alpha Louis omegaverse fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, let the writer know by leaving kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

🌰 Light, Spark and Fire (series) by green_feelings / @greenfeelings

(E, 239k, CEO Louis) Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

🌰 Say Something by @kingsofeverything

(E, 105k, age difference) At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life. Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

🌰 Ace of Spades by @allwaswell16

(E, 78k, pirate au) Louis is a pirate, Harry is his captive, and no one is who they say they are.

🌰 These High Walls by LarryAlways28

(E, 68k, CEO Harry) when the older, and wildly attractive Harry Styles offers him a deal in exchange for saving his family's legacy- how could Louis ever refuse that?

🌰 Unveiled by @phdmama

(M, 65k, royal au) There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.

🌰 and i would search the night sky to find you by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain

(E, 56k, boarding school) Harry Styles is a high class, well-bred Omega attending Bosworth Academy - a prestigious boarding school looking over the small town on Kinsey. He has his whole life already planned for him, learning his place as the potential mate for an important Alpha, practicing his home making skills, and be obedient above all else.

🌰 Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren

(E, 42k, royal) Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha

🌰 You're Not My Type (still I fall) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter

(M, 38k, farm) He's been in stickier spots; he reminds himself. Way stickier. This is just a bit of rain; it'll blow over. Then Harry will just... well, alright, he isn't entirely sure what to do when the rain stops because he'll still be stuck and lost.

🌰 Endgame by @brightgolden

(E, 38k, royal) Where omega Crown Prince Harry Styles is trying and failing to get pregnant for four years, but all that is about to change when courtesan alpha Louis Tomlinson comes into the equation.

🌰 The Risen (series) by @creamcoffeelou

(E, 28k, cult au) In search of the next breaking story, Harry goes off to do something no one else has been able to do: get the scoop on Louis Tomlinson and his devoted group of followers.

🌰 Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche

(T, 18k, uni au) Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

🌰 Single Bells Ring by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(M, 16k, alpha/alpha) A holiday singles event is not where Louis wants to be tonight, but there he is, helping his best friend find love.

🌰 Prince Harry and the Expert in Motorcycle Maintenance by @juliusschmidt

(E, 15k, fairy tale) a cinderella au in which prince harry rides a motorcycle and louis, a simple mechanic, fixes it.

🌰 Bentley Station, Now Arriving by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 13k, space) There's a ball coming up, and Harry is going to attend. Niall will make certain of that.

🌰 It's Been Ages by @2tiedships2

(NR, 13k, friends to lovers) Louis shook his head in exasperation. “If you’ve been watching, you would see that Harry is interested in, like, alpha alphas. Not me.”

🌰 I’ve Always Liked the Fireworks by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(T, 12k, football) When alphas and omegas reach the age of twenty-one they are required to attend a Proving Day ceremony. Omegas watch as alphas do their best to compete in events, show off their skills, and prove how good a mate they can really be.

🌰 Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

(E, 12k, neighbors) Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.

🌰 Just Jump by @jaerie

(E, 9k, heat) “Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

🌰 a body wishes to be held & held by @turnyourankle

(E, 9k, heat/rut) Harry wants to return the favour after Louis helps him out with his heat.

🌰 A Silver Lining In A Storm (You Were Lightning, I Was Born) by @fallinglikethis

(E, 6k, arranged marriage) after the death of his first fiancé, a man who turned out far worse than Harry thought possible, his subsequent marriage to the man's brother leaves Harry finding it difficult to trust that everything will work out

🌰 a rose by any other name by delsicle / @eeveedel

(G, 3k, Victorian) Harry is a sheltered omega who is the pinnacle of good breeding, but the flowers in his family’s garden – and the alpha gardener who keeps them – prove to be his greatest weakness.

- Rare Pairs -

🌰 That Don’t Define Who You Are by @lululawrence

(NR, 7k, Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw) the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.

#ficrec #alphalouis #1dficvillage #trackinghome #trackinghappily #hljournal #hlcreators #hltracks #1dsource #ficsfor4am

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lemmetreatya · 11 months

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Maybe It’s Foreboding (Or Not) — Miguel x fem!Reader

word count: 1.9k

content: no extreme warnings, modern au, fem!reader, reader uses female pronouns, reader commutes to work by train, reader knows basic spanish, hc that miguel speaks both irish and spanish — and that he’s irish on his father’s side (idk if this is correct or not), use of petnames, id say miguel is a bit ooc — but hes not — he just doesn’t have all that canon trauma going on sjsksk

FINALLY DID SOMETHING OF GOOD QUALITY FOR ONCE????? had to get back on my shit yktfv!!! also psa for the translations — i do not speak fluent spanish and not a lick of irish so please!! if there’s anything incorrect/needs changing, dont be afraid to tell me!! hope you enjoy ❤️❤️

Your usual commute to work was barely ever eventful. It mostly consisted of you getting onto your train — hoping you’d get a seat — and feeling despondent every time you noticed no seats were available.

Which was expected: You had to use a busy train in order to get to work on time. Any earlier and you’d have to wonder around your office’s surroundings to waste time and any later would have you clocking in late.

This timed train was so much more convenient for pace but it just never granted you those graceful minutes to sit down.

But alas, you stuck with it, because what else was there to complain about? The trains weren’t too full so it didn’t mean you were squashed like packed sardines and it was relatively quiet due to most passengers being too mellow at this time of morning to make any lucrative noise.

“Sorry, Miss.”

At first, you ignored the deep sounding words, assuming they could have been for anyone. But then a soft tap bounced just over your thigh and so you looked down to see what the disturbance was.

Looking up at you was a man with focused eyes. He wore a plain black suit with matching trousers. His white shirt had two buttons undone and he wore no tie. You couldn’t help but noticed how tossled his hair was. Clearly he was on his way to some type of occupation.

“Would you like to sit down?” He asks.

“Oh! I…”

You lean off from the pole you were supporting yourself on and adjust your bag on your soldier. Maybe this man was pitying you because you looked tired. You honestly weren’t and were genuinely just being comfortable, but you guess your lax composure compelled this reaction from him.

“No. Sorry, I was just being lazy. I’m fine, you don’t need to give up your seat for me.”

You shake your head and deny his request but the man continually persists. He was already starting to get up from his seat.

“No, en serio, sit.” He moved his briefcase over with his foot. “Can’t have a pretty lady like you standing now, can we?”

And it’s not like you agreed; Flattery of any kind from a stranger was always met with caution, but concerning he was going out of his way to give you a seat, you guess it’d be rude to deny it.

“Oh…How kind.” You stagnantly laugh.

The man took your place from before, now standing over you as he held onto the pole. He placed his briefcase between his feet. As you finally sit down and change your bag from your arm to your lap, you look up at the man with a grateful smile.

“Thank you.”

He only smiles at you acutely before offering you a curt nod. That was the only interaction you had the whole ride before you got off at your stop and made your way to work.

The next time you see the man isn’t until two days after the first ordeal and towards the end of the week.

He sees you before you see him, regarding he boarded the train sometime before you, and instantly flags you over.

“Miss!”

Weirdly, his call made you smile, and you pot on over, not expecting much.

“You really don’t have to.” You try as he gets up and out of his seat. He’s however already shaking his head.

“Don’t be silly. I already told you why you do so I don’t wanna hear anymore complaining.”

With rolled lips, you nod as you meekly sit down. Having an abash austere about you, you struggle to look up at him as you speak.

“Thank you. It’s very kind of you.”

“No need for thanks.”

You wait several seconds before looking up to give him a communal look of gratitude but you find he’s already looking down at you. You find difficultly baring his coarse stare and so you look back down at your lap.

Throughout the ride, you can’t help but notice how his leg kept innocently brushing against yours.

Once again, no more words were shared between you and like before, you get up and leave for your stop once it comes.

“You know how this goes.”

This is about the sixth time the man has offered his seat up for you, and quite frankly you do know how it goes, but it just never seems like a good enough reason to therefore take his seat.

“Señor.” You muse with a light smile as you board the train. “You really don’t have to.”

“Oh, but I really do. Come. Sit.”

The man is already out of the seat, hand widely displaying towards it — it’s yours.

Despite the seatless train, most people know by now not to sit in it’s stead. The man himself is tall and wide enough to deter anyone from trying, but most reoccurring passengers know the deal as well as you do.

As you take your seat, the man smiles down at you. His smiles have gotten a lot warmer over the various interactions. Per usual, he places his briefcase down near your feet and brush his knees with yours. You believe it’s going to be another wordless journey but the man opens his mouth, closes it, before saying:

“And please, call me Miguel.”

He jogs your knee with his, so you were aware it was you he was talking to, but you still looked up at him with a slight expression of confusion. For some reason, it was as if moths — the Night’s Butterfly — were flitting around within the neck of your stomach.

“Sorry?”

He sighs out of his nose. It was not out of annoyance, but as if he too was experiencing some emotions of nervousness. The man however had enough confidence to look down at you and attempt to gain your gaze.

“As opposed to señor, call me Miguel.”

Your mouth lets out a small ‘ah’.

“Miguel.” You repeat.

So his name was Miguel.

It suited him, and made slight sense concerning he seemed to know Spanish well, but even more so because it was as if he had metamorphosed right in front of you. It wasn’t a physical change, but being able to put a name to a face definitely altered your perception of him. It was as if he’d become more human.

With a soft hum, you look up at him with an inquisitive contort.

“Miguel.” You taste his name in his mouth once more. “Is that what you’d like me to call you or is that your actual, real, government name?”

The man’s expression was unreadable.

“Well, what do you think?”

You shrug, unsure why he’s asked the question, but you give your answer anyways.

“I’d think it’d be kinda stupid for you to give your government name to a stranger on the train. So I’m guessing it’s a nickname or at least a pseudo one.”

Miguel’s eyes clip towards the moving view behind you, before training back onto your face.

“Looks like I’m kinda stupid then.”

You pause, register what he’s said, and then let out a tinkling laugh as you shake your head meticulously. Miguel chuckles a few seconds after you, and he can’t help watching you as he does so.

There’s a pause.

“I’m not much of a stranger anymore though, right? We’re more acquaintances than anything.” He tries.

“But Miguel, you don’t even know my name.”

“Only because you haven’t told me.” He shrugs.

This is the most quick-fire that he’s ever been but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying it.

“You want my government name or the pseudo one?” You muse.

“It’s only fair that you give me the government one.” He catches himself before adding more gently, “Only if you’re comfortable doing so and kinda stupid like me.”

Once again, you can’t help the smile that braces your mouth. You tell him your name, the government one, and Miguel knocks your knees together in concur.

“Ah. Hermosa nombre por una hermosa dama.” [1]

He says, and regardless of whether you understood or not, you knew what he was getting at. If his words didn’t convince you then it was the silky look of— admiration? That gave him away.

Your cheeks heated, and your head dipped. All you could force out was a humble Thank You.

“Where I’m from, we have this saying.”

Miguel angles his breakfast snacks in your direction and you wordlessly take a small handful.

Surprisingly, your usual train was a lot quieter this morning. Maybe it was due to school holidays season, but there was enough space for you and Miguel to both have a seat. Your journey so far had been non-stop chatter.

“Más í an ceann í, beidh a fhios ag do chroí sula ndéanann tú.” [2] He reprises wisely.

It wasn’t Spanish, and you knew Miguel spoke Irish (“That old bastard was only good for one thing.”), so the translation was pretty much lost on you.

“Is that so?” You say with a hum and a crunch.

Miguel is also crunching on some of his snack, palm covering his mouth as he chucks the small pebbles towards the back of his throat before he’s shaking his head.

“Nope, that was a complete fucking lie. No such saying exists like that, I just made it up on the spot.” Miguel leaves room for you to let out a burst of laughter. “But, if it was a saying, I’d live by it like it was gospel.”

Shaking your head, you finish the portion of snacks that were in your mouth before you reply.

“Maybe you should paten it then. Make sure no one else gets the chance in saying it’s the gospel they wrote.”

“Maybe I should patent it…” Miguel echoes to himself with a deep laugh. “Yeah, maybe I should.”

The both of you lull into a comfortable silence. The sort of silence you could fall into with a long time friend who was low maintenance, or a family member who you tolerated sharing the living room space with. It was the type of stilling that didn’t require speech but welcomed it if it came. Mornings with Miguel were the calm before the inevitable storm and the small pick-me-up that pushed you out of bed.

But then as you pondered how he made you feel, you realise that you only knew Miguel within the context of your work commute. You’d only ever spoken to this man within the short time that you travelled to work; Never before, never after. Had you gotten just one train earlier or later — heck, one carriage — different that fateful day, it would have inevitably changed the course of your life and the starting foundation of the friendship (?).

Life truly was funny in how it dealt it’s cards.

“What does it mean anyways?” You ask with piqued interest.

Miguel makes a WTF face, a face he made often, before he’s scrunching up his packet of finished snacks and dumping it within the blue convenience store bag he had. You recognise that everything he’d purchased was in Spanish.

“What does what mean? Be more specific.”

“Your fake saying you lied about.”

Miguel turns his head to look at you, those deep insightful eyes of his analysing you, searching for something. You’re not sure if he found what he was looking for. Whether he did or not, you wouldn’t know.

The man only turns forwards again and snorts.

“Don’t worry your pretty lil’ head about it.” He concludes. “You wouldn’t want to know.”

________________________________

[1]: Beautiful name for a beautiful lady

[2]: If she’s the one, your heart will know before you do

#miguel #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel x black reader #atsv #atsv x black reader #atsv x reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099

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riddledarkness · 2 months

Text

if you fall, I will catch you

summary: after a terrible date, you decide to go home, but you are stopped by a downpour outside. luckily, you happened to meet Theodore on the street, a friend of your ex and a good acquaintance of yours. he seems not to mind helping.

theodore nott x fem!reader, friends to more(?)

i was inspired by type o negative — netty

„Y/n?”, you heard someone's voice and mentally roll your eyes. You didn't want to see someone like this: clothes stuck to the body, make-up turned into a mess and your mood couldn't be worse because that guy was a real asshole. But you turned back.

Shit. Theodore. Theodore Nott.

You wouldn't say that you are best friends, but you often meet in companies and he seems... Well, nice. In any case, he supported you after you broke up with his best friend and invited you to a concert of your favorite group where he was going with his close friends. You had a great time and it really helped you deal with your breakup sadness. Although to be honest, you don't know what helped more: good company and loud music that overshadowed all your thoughts, or his breath on your neck two hours later...

You awkwardly ran your hand through your hair, mumbling:„Theodore?”. Looking serious as always, he stood and just looked at you, for some reason not answering right away. You, in turn, looked at him in response. Hell, just a few minutes ago you were shivering from cold raindrops on your body and now you're hot.

„Hey,” he finally said, „do you think you need help?”. You quickly nodded and he gently grabbed your elbow. He asked what you were doing on the streets of the city during the rain and you told about that terrible date with the guy who just left you.

„You always had terrible taste in men. Sorry”, he replied after you finished the story. You giggled in agreement. So where are you: now you are sitting in the front seat of his car and you are afraid to make an extra movement so that the car does not turn into a wet mess. When you suddenly realized that you had been looking at him for a long time, you looked away. He must have noticed.

Theo's house was spacious, everything was as you remembered from that incident. You had already changed into his clothes that he offered you and wanted to go to the kitchen where Teodor was making coffee for both of you. But your attention was drawn to the photos hanging in the corridor: black and white, but stylish, they were definitely taken by some popular New York photographer.

„You like it?”, you heard his voice and shuddered, turning to him. „I became interested in photography recently. Now I collect various photos and magazines. They were not there last time”, he added and you looked away embarrassed. It is obvious what exactly he meant.

„It's really beautiful”, you murmured trying to look calm. „Do you take pictures too?”. He smirked lighting a cigarette. You hate it when people smoke in the house, but for some reason you didn't even think about it now, looking at his face. „Yes, sometimes I take pictures of things I like. But I'm not a professional, of course. It's a hobby”. You turned back to the photos hanging on the wall, looking at them again. Lord, you can still feel his gaze. „I like that sweater on you, actually. I mean, it suits you”. After a few seconds, you heard his footsteps –he returned to the kitchen. You closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm down and then followed him.

You sat down at the table while Theo went back to the kitchen counter to get a jar of sugar in case you needed it. „This is delicious coffee. I brought her from Ireland when I went there on vacation. Try it”, he said taking the seat across from you. You took a sip, nodding in agreement – the coffee really turned out to be delicious. In the background, a vinyl was playing with some 80s jazz music, you swear you've heard it before but you can't remember who the artist is.

„So you already passed through him?”, Theodore asked sharply, referring to your ex, with whom parting was very painful for you. Now you've started going on dates, so you probably don't cry at night thinking about him and don't keep your phone ready to call him while drinking wine with your best friend. „Something like that,” you answered, „but it's not like I'm trying to find something serious”. Theo took one last puff and put the cigarette down. Raising his eyebrows, he asked: „Why is this so? Don't believe in love anymore?”. You took another sip of coffee and I thought about it, looking at the cup that he probably also bought somewhere abroad – you knew from friends that Theo had been traveling for the last year.

„Do you believe in love?” you asked after a few seconds and it was unexpected even for you. You noticed that Theo, who was hard to impress, especially now that he was older and more serious, was also surprised by the sudden question. He looked at you and your heart raced again. It seemed that his gaze was capable of killing anyone, even the most experienced warrior or the most intelligent killer. But there was one thing that did not give you peace: you were upset after that failed date, then why don't you even remember that boy now, drowning in the eyes of Theodore fucking Nott?

You swear you saw the corners of his lips curl. „Yes, I quite do”, he said quietly, almost whispering.

Then you both heard the sounds of thunder. You thought you'd go home quickly after spending at most an hour at Theo's house, but nature had other plans. „So, the storm will definitely not stop so quickly”, you mumbled rhetorically, not expecting an answer. „Why do you want to run away? I thought you do like my apartment”.

You looked away. „I do like your apartment. I just didn't think storm would be this long”. Theo nodded taking the cups from the table to wash them. „I think it's better than being on a date with a jerk, Y/n. And what if you still decided to give him a chance, huh?”, he asked washing the cups, so you only saw his back. You were glad that he didn't see you blushing. You didn't answer, so he continued after a pause: „You looked amazing even when you were soaked by rain. How could he tell that your outfit is not as feminine as he imagined? These guys always come up with standards, and then get disappointed that not all women are ready to fall at their feet”.

You giggled. „It's okay, Theo”, you said thinking that he would laugh, but his answer was more serious than you thought. „No, it's not”, Nott turned to face you. „You deserve better. Has he ever said you look amazing?”, he asked and you lowered your eyes. He understood that it meant no. „Pathetic”, Theo mumbled rolling his eyes. You raised your eyebrows as he came closer, wondering. You were still sitting in the chair when he knelt down in front of you. „Remember this. Remember that you don't need to go on these miserable dates to feel loved”, he mumbled looking down on you His fingers lightly touched yours. You bit your lip nervously looking around the room for an object to focus your attention on just to avoid looking into his eyes.

„You can just come to me. I will help you feel loved”.

He got to his feet and leaned towards you – your faces were inches apart. The waited a few seconds, probably giving you a chance to tell him it was a bad idea. But you were silent, couldn't even make a small movement. And then he kissed you gently, putting his thumb on your chin. He smiled kissing you. He smiled sincerely, but most importantly happily, for the first time in the evening. „I've been thinking about it all this time, shit”, Theo murmured when you felt his nose and lips touch your neck.

The storm didn't seem so terrible now. After all, you always loved the rain: it seems gloomy, but it gives hope. He gives you hope, actually.

if this fic seemed good to you, please like or reblog this post & write a comment. this is very-very important to me because I would like to know what you like and what fanfics I should write in the future (besides, English is not my native language, that's why I'm worried). thank you🪐

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vimeddiart · 8 months

Text

I DREW MY OC TOAST AAAAAA

The folks at XPPen sent me the XPPen Deco Pro (Gen 2):

XPPen is having its 18th anniversary, and is celebrating with sales and product promos, so it's worth checking those out.

My thoughts on the tablet (and purchase links) under the cut!

⭐ Review ⭐

First impressions: After unboxing the tablet, I thought it sleek and professional-looking, especially after setting it up with my PC.

The remote I LOVED right out of the box because I enjoy fiddling with buttons and wheels. The keys are super satisfying to press.

The pen and storage case are nicely complete, lots of spare nibs to switch out (though I mainly stuck to the default nib while drawing, the textured ones have a nice gritty feel similar to paper).

I had some troubleshooting when I started, as connecting to Bluetooth wasn't happening with either the tablet or the remote. I tested the Bluetooth connection with a different device and my phone successfully, but couldn't with my work PC. I was promptly helped by XPPen Support, and it turned out to be a Windows update messing things up, so I uninstalled it and Boom; I could connect both the tablet and remote, no problem. Up until then, I used both via cable, which was a convenient option!

The tablet: The XL model at 15 x 9 inches, with plenty of space to work (although you'll need space to put it, luckily I have a lot of desk to spare), and can connect via cable or Bluetooth. It also looks so dang pretty.

The tablet was so smooth, and the pressure (16k pressure levels) felt amazing to draw with. After fiddling around with the pen settings, I barely had to press down to get a nice flowy line.

I usually work on a screen tablet, so it took some getting used to returning to a pen tablet and looking at my PC screen again, but it came back to me quickly. It actually helped my posture, as I tend to shrimp-curl over my screen tablet while working.

As lovely as it was to work on, I feel this size may be too large for me, despite it being perfectly proportional to my PC screen. I like to draw quickly, and I noticed myself making more effort to travel over the surface of the tablet and tiring my arm out faster than usual. I needed to take more breaks and stretch often, although I could classify that as positive. That said, this tablet has a sloped resting area that helped. All my drawing tablets have been medium-sized, so I'm probably just conditioned to that surface area.

The battery lasted as long as it took to draw this piece and more! I didn't need to charge it the entire time.

The remote: I love this thing so much. It has ten shortcut keys and a wheel you can configure to your heart's desire. Five sets of key functions!!! That's fifty shortcuts!! I only configured four sets and struggle to memorise them, but it's very convenient. I have my keyboard right next to the tablet and would bang out shortcuts there, but this remote changed my life.

I've been using it for a month now, and it still hasn't needed charging!

The pen: Comfy to use, with a design I was already accustomed to, and one thing I noticed was that the nib wasn't scratching the heck out of the tablet. After all the drawing I did with it, not a single mark.

I LOVE popping the case open to retrieve or store the pen, and it's one of those physical things that I find satisfying and so rare with digital products. I thought it would be nice to have a pen stand too, but I have pet birds that will (and have) run away with my tablet pens, so a storage case is a strong solution.

Final thoughts: This is a solid tablet with the potential to become an essential tool for industry professionals and freelancers. I didn't think I could be convinced out of a screen tablet, but I was offered a super strong contender. I can confidently recommend it, plus my experience with support was a positive one that boosted my trust in the brand. Overall, I had a great time using this tablet and really appreciate the opportunity I've been given to try it out!

⭐ Purchase links ⭐

US Walmart Store

CA official store

#mine #xppen #review #toast

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politemenacephd · 4 months

Text

A Fortunate Mistake: Christmas Special

Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader (+18)

Word count: 14,000 Fluff + Smut + Angst Smut Content: Dry humping, oral (reader recieving), marking bites, voyeruism, possessive language during sex, rough vaginal sex, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, creampie

You are a maintenance worker for the Spider Society, one who's been keeping your relationship with Miguel a secret for some time. The holidays are now just around the corner, and while everyone else is excited, Miguel seems to be struggling. You decide to try and help him out.

Note: this is based on my other fic, A Fortunate Mistake, and takes place between chap 8 - 9, but can be read as its own one-shot! There's just an established relationship here. Anyway enjoy hehe

‘Okay, hold- hold- HEY, hold it—!’

You strained your arms as your fellow maintenance workers called back, all straining in the exact same way.

You were currently hanging almost entirely vertically from a standard beam in the HQ lobby, a position that came very unnaturally to you as a human. However, you weren’t at liberty to think about that right now, as you were right in the middle of helping put up Christmas decorations.

This would usually be a relaxing activity, or at the very least a mildly inconvenient one, but for a society run by spiders the decorations had to be a little unorthodox. So instead of getting tangled in tinsel or vacuuming up pine needles, you were hoisting an entire tree up the side of the HQ wall to be stuck down at an angle.

You wiped your brow and tensed the rope one more time. ‘Alright! Pull up, up- that’s it!’

With a final grunt the tree slipped into the pre-bolted stand, and your co-worker rushed to solder it in. You loosened the rope at first just to be sure it was secure, and when the rope went slack but the tree stayed firm you threw it down entirely. Job done.

You dropped to the floor with a huff, leaning on your knees for support. The most you could manage in response to your co-workers’ cheers was a thumbs up.

‘Oh- god, fuck- okay! We did it! Good job guys, you—’

‘Hey! What are you lot up to?’

You glanced up to see Peter B. eagerly jogging towards your location, his eyes fixed on the tree. You offered him an awkward wave.

‘Hey! Peter, hi. We urgh- we’re just putting the decorations up. We’ve got like ten more trees to do but we’re halfway there, so, you know! Baby steps. Keep a- keep a positive spirit and all that.’

You expected to see Peter get excited over the decorations, but instead his smile faltered.

‘Oh! I, uh- I thought, you guys would have got the memo!’

Your eye twitched as your own smile faltered. ‘The mem—the what? The memo about what?’

Peter physically winced. He knew already that he was going to be the bearer of bad news. ‘Aha, well… Sorry let me urgh, find it, just a- second- OH, HEY! How about you hold May while I get it out?’

As a last-ditch effort to keep you calm he grabbed his baby daughter from her carrier and thrust her body into your arms. You stumbled as May squealed and patted your cheeks.

‘Oof- Peter, uh- she’s lovely but—’

‘AH! Here it is!’

As you finally found your balance again Peter shoved a holographic message right into your face.

‘See? Uh- last minute change, elites said it was safer to do holographic decorations this year! So they’re just doing that. In fact, they should be about to—’

In the middle of speaking a low hum began to fill the HQ, drawing you both to glance upward. Just as he’d predicted the entire building was suddenly filled with bright, shining holographic Christmas decorations, ones that totally eclipsed the meager work you’d done.

Peter and May cooed with glee as the other spiders let out rapturous applause. You, however, looked utterly sour.

‘Oh my god… Well! Alright then. Guess I’m on lunch break early.’

You awkwardly handed Mayday back over to Peter and brushed down your clothes. He didn’t even seem to notice. You bid him goodbye and waved off the other workers, all of whom looked just as sour as you, before turning and heading for the cafeteria instead.

If you were off work early, you could at least make the most of the extra time. You could at least hope he was here.

You swung by the cafeteria and grabbed your usual to-go bag of empanadas. The girl you knew there tried to sell you on something new they were trying but you waved her off; you knew he didn’t like surprises, all he wanted was the same comfortable treat.

With lunch in hand you scaled the beams up towards the highest corridor accessible to the spiders. You ran down the corridor filled with anomaly cages, passed the go-home machine and down to the left. All the way through the eerie, empty space, back to the person you wanted to see the most.

Back to him. Back to Miguel.

You shoved his office door aside with dramatic flair.

‘Miguel?’

You called out into the empty space and listened to the words echo upward into nothing. You noted that his desk was hovering about halfway up, but you couldn’t see him on it. Drat, was he busy again?

You turned a full circle in his room, awkwardly bouncing the empanada box on your hip. Where was he? Surely your luck couldn’t be that bad, right?

‘Mig—’

‘Up here.’

You jumped and glanced upward again. Ah, wait, there he was: one of his hands was draped unceremoniously over the edge of the floating desk, hanging limply with his claws extended. It seemed that your boss was lying flat on his back on the office floor.

As you went to put the empanada box in your bag for safekeeping a long string of neon red webbing cascaded down to the floor. You rolled your eyes at his dramatics, but secretly you were glad. This was as open as he would be that he wanted to see you.

With your bag tight around your waist you grappled onto the web and began to crawl your way up.

‘Hey there beautiful man’ you whispered as you crawled over the edge. Miguel did not respond.

He was, as you’d expected, lying flat on his back on the cold metal of his office platform. His arms were spread out and his legs slightly parted, with his eyes closed and his brow knotted.

You scooted along the rim of the office until you were sat by his head. Gingerly, you brushed a lock of his hair aside.

‘Hey Mig’ you whispered.

His eyes opened slowly, filling your gaze with red light. You tried to offer him a smile.

‘Nena.’ It was all he said, and while it was said affectionately you could feel the strain in his voice. He sounded exhausted.

‘Yep, that’s me. I uh- I brought you lunch. Your favorite.’

You pulled out the empanada box and shook it, hoping it would cheer him up. Miguel slowly closed his eyes.

‘Mmm.’

His grunt didn’t sound impressed. You put the box down beside his hand and leaned in closer. ‘You okay bud? You seem even more dry than usual.’

Once again he opened one eye, though this time he wrinkled his nose and brows. ‘Did… did you just call me, bud?’

‘Uh… yeah. Sorry. Am I, not supposed to do that?’

The two of you stared at each other for a good minute, lingering in that painfully awkward silence. You worried for a second he might get legitimately mad.

But, instead, the corners of Miguel’s mouth slowly began to twitch upward. His confusion turned to mild amusement, and a short huff of a laugh escaped his lips.

‘Ay, nena. I’ve missed you.’

You felt relieved. You glanced once at the edge of the office to make sure you were alone before pressing a tentative kiss to his forehead. ‘Sorry. I just feel bad, only calling you by your name all the time. I don’t have a cool nickname for you like you do for me’ you whispered.

You tried to pull away then, but Miguel caught you first. He used his claws to tilt your head down, pulling all the way until his lips hit yours. Your whole body went warm as he took one sweet and lingering kiss.

‘I missed you’ he repeated after pulling away. Your eyelids drooped.

‘I missed you too, Miguel.’

With a grunt your beloved pseudo-partner finally forced himself to sit up. He stretched a little as he struggled upward, and as always you were awe-struck by the sight of him. It never failed to surprise you just how large he was.

‘Mierda… Ah, you uh- did you say, you brought lunch?’ Miguel asked between rubbing his temple. You eagerly nodded.

‘Of course! Got your favorite this time.’

‘Really?’

Miguel tilted his head to glance inside the bag you’d brought, noting the labelling on the side. You had, indeed, managed to get his favorite flavor for once.

‘Good girl, nena’ he praised, sounding genuinely surprised. ‘Thank you.’

You loosened up at his stoic praise, your grin widened until your cheeks hurt. Without another word you handed over his half of the food.

You settled into your familiar routine, swinging your legs over the edge of the platform as you divided up your share of empanadas in the box. You tore the container in half to make two little plates you could eat off of to save him the cleaning, and with your plate on your lap you sat shoulder to shoulder in that empty abyss.

Miguel grunted as he checked his.

‘You didn’t get these ones as well?’ he asked, gesturing to your plate. You’d stuck with the beef empanadas, the most common ones they had, over the cheese ones you both preferred. You just shrugged.

‘Ah, yeah, but it’s fine! I’m all good.’

‘You changed your appetite?’ he asked, probing further as he took a tentative bite of his own to check the temperature. You shrugged again.

‘Um- no, just, they only had two of the cheese ones left. That’s all.’

Miguel paused mid-bite, his eyes rolling over to stare you down. You gave him a lopsided smile.

‘You—’ Miguel stammered and swallowed hard to finish speaking. ‘You gave up your lunch for me?’

‘What? no! I mean I’m still eating, so… I didn’t, give anything up’ you replied in an oddly defensive tone. Miguel didn’t buy it though. He let out a soft sigh, his claws coming up to gently scratch at your scalp.

‘You soft thing’ he murmured. ‘At least someone cares about what I want today.’

You glanced up from relishing the intoxicating sensation of his thick, calloused fingers scratching your head, and noted the dour, bitter look in his eyes.

‘Ohhh, oh okay. What’s happened? Is it the elites again?’ you asked, whispering the last part as if one of them would hear. Miguel pinched the spot between his brows.

‘Ay por Dios- ah, yes. Yes, of course, it’s them. They’re insisting that they host a workplace, festive holiday party, even though I keep insisting we are NOT a workplace, we are an organization who need to be on the offensive at all times, and THEN they want to- do this, thing, where we all exchange gifts in secret—’

‘Oh! Secret santa?'

‘Yes, that. Have you done it?'

‘Mhm!’ You hurriedly swallowed in order to explain properly, all while Miguel stared you down. ‘Yeah you uh- you get given a random colleague and you buy them a gift, so its fair, everyone gets one.’

‘Yes, it is- a fine tradition, for literally anywhere else’ Miguel scoffed. ‘If I’m too busy for you I’m definitely too busy for anyone else. And I don’t know what they want! How do I find out?’

‘Don’t you have access to like, everything and everyone on those monitors?’ you noted, waving a piece of empanada at his desk. Miguel shot you a disapproving look.

‘I use that to keep the multiverse safe. Not to- spy on my fellow spiders so I can find them an appropriate gift.’

‘Yeah, but… you’re not saying you CAN’T use it for that’ you insisted. Miguel’s eye twitched at your playful naivety.

‘You’re a menace’ he grunted.

‘A HELPFUL menace, with good ideas!’ you cheered.

He couldn’t help it; a small half-smile broke onto his face at the sight of your gormless joy, but it didn’t last long. The anxiety of his situation crept up on him mere moments later.

Miguel pushed his now empty box aside and sighed. While you were mid-way through your final bite he shuffled backward until he was slumped against his desk, his eyes once again closed to hide from the world.

‘I don’t want to go’ he said bluntly.

Oh boy, you thought. He was in a really bad mood this time. You hurriedly swallowed the last of your lunch, manically licking flakes of pastry from your fingers so they didn’t get grease on his suit, before crawling over the floor to his side.

He didn’t open his eyes for you but his hands did reach out to grope for your body. You squeaked as he dragged you in against his side, squeezing your upper torso against his. You were smooshed directly into his pec.

‘I don’t, want, to go’ he repeated with a hiss. You patted his chest.

‘I know big guy.’

For a while you just lay in his arms, taking in the brief respite of each other’s touch while you could. You didn’t exactly get a lot of time together. The occasional outing or the occasional night visit to his apartment was the best you could get, along with these lunch breaks whenever he wasn’t on a mission, so the chance to just touch him was one you couldn’t pass up.

He was so warm. You squished into his pec and felt his chest move as he breathed, his heartbeat thudding on your cheek. Your fingers idly fiddled with his suit while his claws scratched at your work pants.

That brief, fleeting moment of domestic bliss was intoxicating. You squeezed him lightly, and he squeezed you back.

‘Nena?’

‘Yes?’

‘Will you come with me?’

Miguel’s interruption caught you very much off guard. You gabbed a little as his eyes rolled open once more, now peering at you in earnest. He was pleading with them.

‘Please’ he said softly.

‘Ah… I mean, won’t it look suspicious? I’m not a spider.’

‘You’re my friend aren’t you?’

Your face went warm. ‘I… am technically your friend, yes. I suppose.’

‘So it’s not suspicious. You had time off work, I passed you in the hall and offered for you to come. As a friend.’

You smiled, your fingers now tracing down his chest. You thought about how good he felt under the suit. That rough skin, scarred and warm, covered in thick hair you loved to run your fingers through when it was late and you were cuddling.

You knew from his sad expression he was thinking of the same. The way his hand squeezed you over your clothes, it was clear he was fantasizing about the soft, thick flesh beneath, and how warm it was when he gripped it.

‘Friend’ he repeated, his voice a little husky. You felt him bury his nose into your hair, breathing in deep.

‘Y-Yeah. Friend’ you repeated back. In that moment you both felt the same familiar spark: that unquenchable, physical magnetism, that carnal yearning you couldn’t seem to stop. Miguel squeezed you tight.

‘You’re- such, a good friend’ he whispered. Oh boy, his voice was definitely husky now. You felt him moving, bending, slowly forcing you down to the floor. His lips went from your hair to your neck.

‘M-Mig, we’re at wor- a-ah—’

You squeaked as he began to suck on your neck.

‘Mm… Mm...’

His moans were muffled against your skin. You knew he was fantasizing about biting you. You were deeply flushed, torn between your physical desire and your anxiety over being caught, but as his hands began to fumble your shirt aside you felt desire take over.

You helped him open your shirt at the top, allowing his hand to slip beneath the thin fabric. He began eagerly squeezing your breasts as he sucked and kissed your neck.

‘Ah- Mig.’ You whispered his name intensely, only barely managing to bite down a much louder moan. His fingers were so rough on your chest, and he couldn’t stop himself gently teasing your nipples to try and get another whimper out of you. You had to bite your lip to keep them down.

‘Mig- please, careful—’

‘Mm.’

He groaned into your skin and shuffled, his enormous body shifting until he was directly on top of you. You had to breathe in deep as his chest crushed your ribs.

‘Mig- M-Mig—’

‘Mmm…’

With a soft, satisfied moan Miguel began to dry-hump you over your work clothes. You could feel his clothed bulge desperately kneading between your thighs, eagerly pushing your legs apart so he could grind on your clothed cunt.

‘Mmm...’

You lay back and struggled to keep quiet as he rubbed himself out. You could hear the distant laughs and shouts of spiders somewhere beyond his office, and there was a real fear in you that they could come in at any time.

But, you didn’t tell him to stop. Why would you? After all, you were a filthy pervert for the man, and part of you kind of wanted to get caught. Part of you wanted to be his.

You moaned softly as he ground his hefty bulge just close enough to stimulate your clit. You could feel your slick soaking your panties, and you knew he was probably staining the inside of his suit with pre-cum. You clung tight to his back as his weight crushed you into the cold floor.

You were only drawn apart by one particularly loud shout. It wasn’t calling for Miguel, but it was enough to make him release you and jerk his head up. ‘Fuck… fuck.’

You could see the disappointment in his eyes as he cursed. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and gingerly wiped his spit from your neck.

‘Sorry, nena.’

‘I-It’s okay, it’s fine.’

With a soft moan Miguel buried his face into your hair once more. You felt his claws squeezing your waist.

‘I’d love to bite you’ he whined.

‘I know’ you panted.

‘I’d love… to bite you, and suck, and have you walk around so everyone knows you’re mine.’

You felt him give one final, needy grind between your legs before sighing and withdrawing, giving you the chance to shuffle onto your elbows.

‘What have you done to me?’ he whispered with a slight chuckle. You hurried to smooth out your clothes. ‘What have I done- why is this on me? I just brought you lunch!’

Miguel bashfully brushed his hair back as you sat up. He couldn’t help himself from looking, especially at where your pants had come down in your frantic dry humping to reveal just a little part of your panties. He was disappointed when you pulled them back up.

‘Mhm. Exactly.’ He reached out and took your chin in his hand, pausing your manic attempt to dress. ‘No one else who brings me lunch makes me want to act like this. So, clearly, there’s something about you.’

‘Ahuh. Very poetic, sir’ you teased. His eyes were so soft in contrast to his otherwise stern expression.

‘Come with me. Please.’

You finally finished sorting your clothes and shuffled into a cross legged position, facing Miguel head on. He leant his head on his upturned fist.

‘What do I get out of it?’

He snorted a laugh at your answer. ‘Ay, nena… How about, best friend status?’ he replied. He was trying to be sarcastic but you jumped at the idea.

‘Oh- oh shit, really? For real? Alright. Done. I’ll see you there, bestie!’

Miguel scowled as he watched you jump to your feet. ‘Do not call me bestie.’

You looked over your shoulder as you scavenged your things, clearly displeased by his curtness. ‘What, not even in private?’

Miguel sighed, his hand flying to his face. ‘Ay por Dios- ah, fine. In private is fine, but not in public.’

‘Aww, Mig, are you embarrassed of me?’

Miguel’s teasing seemed to fall off almost immediately at that. He looked distraught. ‘I- no, nena, of course not. No. I just- look if you start calling me that, Peter will think it’s okay! I can’t have that happening!’

You couldn’t help but giggle at Miguel’s genuine horror. You had to force yourself to stop as you gave him a sympathetic kiss on the chest.

‘Okay. I will come to your work thing. I’ll uh- distract Peter by asking about his thoughts on baby car seats, or Jess on motorcycle maintenance. You can sulk in the corner until it’s over.’

Miguel’s smile was genuine as he gazed down at you. For just a moment, things seemed like they might be alright.

‘Thank you, nena. You’re an angel.’

….

It was roughly 1pm, and you were anxiously pacing about two corridors down from where you knew the Christmas get together was happening. You were here waiting for Miguel to show up and make your appearance seem organic.

You were still in your work clothes, which felt a little odd, but you knew it would look even more odd if you weren’t in them in the middle of the day. You also couldn’t be too close to the party or it’d look stranger still.

You sighed to yourself as your back hit the nearest wall. Here, alone, beneath the cold fluorescents, you pondered this weird situationship you’d gotten into.

You loved Miguel dearly, you really did, both genuinely as a friend and as something more complicated. You just wished you could be more open about it. It was hard to lie, hard to constantly be on the lookout for ways to be inconspicuous. It was exhausting.

You didn’t even entirely know why you couldn’t be open about it. All you knew is you trusted him, or at least, you wanted to, so what he said went.

Your mind drifted to his lips on your neck, and you absently brushed where he’d kissed you. You thought about his words, about how he’d whined over not being able to mark you with a bite. Your cheeks glowed in the cold light.

You wished it too, you thought. You wished for nothing more.

‘Nena?’

You turned to find Miguel watching you from the corner of the hall. He was in full suit, even wearing his mask, which you found a little odd. You smiled as he approached.

‘Hey, big guy.’

Miguel glanced about the hall twice to ensure you were alone before placing a single, cautious kiss to your forehead.

‘You ready?’

You could hear the annoyance in his voice. He was already in a foul mood. With both hands you reached up and gently tapped his cheeks, urging him to remove his mask. He reluctantly obeyed.

‘There he is. Beautiful man.’ You cooed softly as you stroked his jaw, and you watched as he closed his eyes in response. You clung to that moment together, that sweet single moment alone, until you were forced apart by the sound of another spider’s footsteps.

Together you walked into the open lobby.

It was packed with spiders from ceiling to floor, with people standing or sitting at every angle possible. Those holographic decorations were extra bright here, filling the white room with a bright arrangement of rainbow lights. It was excessively cheery.

The moment you walked in you were hit with the low buzz of spiders chatting and calling over each other. Someone somewhere was singing, a gaggle of Peter’s were trying to get the radio to play music, but someone seemed to have already dropped eggnog on the thing and now all you could hear was the occasional static.

You also noticed very quickly that everyone else was wearing some horrible Christmas sweater. That is, everyone but Miguel.

‘Miguel! Hey! There you are!’

You jumped as Peter B. dropped from the ceiling in front of you, his arms flying to Miguel’s waist before the man could even respond. Miguel opted to just stand stock still in his usual, stoic posture, while Peter squeezed his ribs to dust.

‘Oh, I’m so glad! Hey, I told you it was festive sweater attire—’

‘I don’t- own one of those.’

Peter huffed at Miguel’s curtness. While Peter tried to put on his most disapproving, disappointed dad face, Miguel just curled his lip.

‘I brought you one! For this EXACT event!’

‘I lost it.’

‘You lo- how?! You live and work in the HQ!’

‘I lost it’ Miguel repeated. You could tell he was speaking through gritted teeth.

‘I swear you are unbelievable sometim—oh! Hey, you! It’s you!’

Peter finally noticed you standing awkwardly at Miguel’s back. You were easy to miss, as your body barely came up to his pecs and his shadow was currently hiding much of your body, but Peter’s senses were keen. He turned his accusatory finger from Miguel to you instead.

‘Hey! Oh, it’s good to see you, how are you doing?’

‘Hey, Peter. I’m- good, I’m good.’ You forced a smile to hide your anxiety over being here. You knew you weren’t doing anything wrong but you felt so out of place in these big gatherings. You weren’t a spider, you barely knew most of these people, and of course you were harboring the guilt of your secret affair with their boss.

As if sensing the strain in your voice Miguel allowed his hand to brush your elbow. It was a small, barely discernible action, but it meant the world to you. It was all the comfort you needed.

‘I didn’t know you were invited though’ Peter mused aloud. ‘I thought it was just a spider thing.’

‘Oh, I was—’

‘I saw her walking by and she mentioned she was on break, I thought- she might enjoy this’ Miguel said, quickly dropping your alibi in the most monotone way possible. You just nodded along with his explanation.

‘Oh’ Peter noted, his finger slowly retracting. ‘So, you two do know each other?’

Miguel grunted, his brows knotting into that familiar look of mild annoyance. ‘Do we know- yes, of course we know each other. She cleans my office three times a week. I told you before, we’re friends.’

Peter nodded along slowly. He wasn’t saying anything, but of course his senses had peaked. He was curious in a way that was making Miguel squirm.

‘So you—’

The three of you turned in unison as a sharp cry filled the lobby. It was a baby’s cry, a sharp squeak of joy, one that all three of you instantly recognized.

‘May! May, no, you can’t be up there!’

The red-headed baby had found her way onto one of the beams and was eagerly crawling towards the fake holographic tinsel, trying to grasp it with her little baby hand.

‘NO! NO, honey, you can’t- you can’t touch that- I’m so sorry, I gotta go!’

Thankfully Peter abandoned your conversation to climb the wall in pursuit of his baby daughter. You sighed with relief, your hand brushing Miguel’s arm, but when you touched him you found he was unbelievably tense. You glanced up to find his eyes glued to the ceiling.

‘Mig?’ you whispered. He was grinding his jaw with his lips pursed, his eyes unmoving.

‘This is why I didn’t want to come’ he hissed. Before you could speak he’d pulled away to the craft table.

‘Ah- Mig, hey!’ You hurried after him, awkwardly sidestepping the other spiders to reach him. ‘Mig? Miguel? What’s up?’

You finally caught him as he tried to hide at the end of the craft table, shoving himself into the corner. You bit down any jokes you instinctively wanted to make about this enormous, gorgeous man trying to hide anywhere.

‘Mig, it’s okay. Talk to me.’

You sidled up beside him and glanced about the room, making sure no one else was coming over. You could physically hear Miguel grinding his teeth at this point.

‘I knew this is what it would be’ Miguel murmured. ‘I get invited out of pity. Everyone’s here with their friends, and their family, because that’s what its about, and they know—’

Miguel choked on the last word. You noticed his eyes were swimming ever so slightly.

In the corner Peter was bouncing May in his arms while trying to coax Mary to go beneath the holographic mistletoe. Jess was laughing as she held up a hologram, on which you could see the laughing face of her husband as he admired her stomach.

You suddenly noticed how many Peters, how many Marys, how many Gwens were spread out here. Everyone seemed so comfortable with each other, and many more were talking about visiting their aunts or parents.

When you looked up at Miguel again, he looked strained.

‘I- I’m gonna take a break’ Miguel grumbled.

‘Oh, already? Hey that’s okay. Do you want me to come?’

He shook his head. ‘No, I just- I need a minute. Alone.’

Without another word he turned and fled, rushing immediately to the nearest bathroom stall. He locked it hard.

Suddenly, you were alone too. You immediately felt your heart speed up.

Oh god, did you know anyone else here? You sort of knew Peter B. but he was busy with his family, and you sort of knew Jess but not well enough to just chat. Everyone else here was a passing acquaintance. You began to wander aimlessly from spot to spot as if to imply you knew what you were doing.

You stared at the food but didn’t partake in anything but a half-filled cup of eggnog which you sipped on for support. You passed by the secret santa board listing everyone intending to participate, just so you looked like you were pondering it with purpose. You noticed Miguel’s picture had been pinned up there, his sullen face lost amide a sea of smiles. You spotted at the top a big sign declaring that Peter B. was this year’s organizer. Ah, of course, it was Peter orchestrating all of this. You quickly walked away.

Eventually you just found a corner to skulk in while you waited for Miguel to return.

It was quiet at least. Peaceful. Calm. You could watch everyone else stand around and sing and watch May admire all the Christmas lights.

You smiled too as you watched her. It was hard not to. It was inevitable, though, that your mind would drift back to Miguel again.

You knew about Miguel’s past at this point. You knew about Gabi, about his loss, about his isolation. You knew it was hard for him seeing every other spider suffer but still ultimately have a family to go home to.

Had he ever experienced a Christmas with Gabi? Did he even get enough time for that?

You knew, deep down, the real reason he didn’t want to be here. It wasn’t the casual socializing or the fact they weren’t technically a workplace. Maybe those things played a small part in his disdain, but really it was clear that he couldn’t bear to be reminded of what he didn’t have.

You glanced to where Miguel had gone to hide, praying for the door to open. It didn’t. You sadly sank back into yourself.

‘Hey, what uh- what an interesting spot you picked.’

You jumped as an unfamiliar voice called to you from the right. It was one of the nebulous Peter Parker’s, a slightly older one it seemed, who’d come to stand beside you on the edge of the lobby. You forced a smile.

‘Hi! Ah… what- Can I help you?’

This new Peter grinned in a way that made you extremely uncomfortable.

‘Well, I mean if you’re asking. This is the right spot for that after all.’

Now you were sweating. Your eyes darting as he started to chuckle. Why was he laughing at you? Who was this?

You realized his friends, a group of other Peter’s, were in the corner giving him a thumbs up. Immediately your stomach dropped, and with bulging eyes you slowly looked upward.

There it was. Mistletoe. Your idiot self had wandered right under it without thinking.

‘Oh! Oh, oh my god, I am- I’m so sorry, no, I didn’t—’

‘God you’re adorably shy, especially for someone waiting underneath it’ this new Peter chortled. You felt your heart hammering. Oh god, where was Miguel? Where was he? You tried to lean and look for him in the crowd, but the new Peter suddenly leaned in front of you.

‘So, you were standing here for no reason?’ he teased. You stammered on your words.

‘No, I’m- I didn’t know it was there, I swear, I didn’t mean to be here—’

He reached up to grab the holographic sprig, taunting you with it as he waved it back and forth.

‘Hey, come on, you gotta follow the rules’ he chuckled. He must have thought he was being playful, just indulging in some banter, but you were horrified. You tried to step away.

‘No, no I’m not- playing around I’m serious—’

‘HEY!’

Your whole body jolted as you were suddenly thrust away from the older Peter. A giant, muscular, red and blue clad arm had swung itself between the two of you and embedded itself into the wall.

Miguel stared down at the man before him, his eyes burning red. His face had contorted with rage, and his claws had turned the concrete wall into dust where he’d struck it.

‘W-Woah, woah, you—’ The man tried to speak but Miguel snapped at him before he could give any kind of excuse. ‘What do you think you’re doing? She said no!’ he barked.

‘I thought- I mean she was under the—’

‘She said. No.’ Miguel was hissing so hard that spittle flew from between his clenched fangs. The man took a step back.

‘Boss, hey, come on—’

‘No. I won’t, come on. There is nothing else to say. She said no. I do not allow people, in my organization, who don’t listen to NO. Especially when it’s her—’

‘Hey, man I was just joking—’

‘Is anyone laughing?!’

Miguel’s sneer had turned into a disdainful smile at this point, a deeply sarcastic grin which bore no joy. Peter had raised his hands into a defensive stance at this point. He knew he’d messed up.

‘I do everything for you ungrateful people’ he seethed. ‘Everything. I give up- everything. And you’re trying to take the ONE THING I HAVE—’

Miguel paused his onslaught abruptly when a hand hit his shoulder, gently drawing him back from his rage. He turned, following the hand to its owner’s face, only to find Peter B. staring back at him with mortified eyes.

‘Mig’ he whispered. Miguel slowly darted his eyes towards the rest of the room.

Everyone had frozen in place to stare at the little mess you’d made. You cowered against the wall with your hands clutched to your chest, while Miguel just stared with his mouth agape. He was panting, his chest heaving as his anger began to slowly dissipate.

‘Buddy?’ Peter B. whispered. At this point the other Peter had used the distraction to flee back to his friends.

‘You okay, buddy?’

Miguel’s face began to warp. It went from rage, to embarrassment, to guilt, right back to rage again. He cast you a quick glance that you couldn’t discern before shoving his way through the crowd.

‘Hey! Hey, Miguel!’

Peter B. gave chase, and after a moment of being frozen you also followed suit. You both managed to follow him to the lobby door before losing track, as he used his claws to drag his body up into the endless sea of beams going up through the HQ.

You panted and stumbled to a stop beside Peter. You were both alone, standing in the corridor just outside the main lobby. You could still hear the gossipy whispers drifting out.

‘Shit… Shit, oh god- Mig’ you panted. ‘I’m so- sorry, shit—’

‘Hey, hey, don’t apologize’ Peter stammered. He was also out of breath. ‘Argh, god- I knew this would be a bad idea. I knew he’d get wound up.’

You panted once, twice, recouping your breath, before rounding on Peter yourself. ‘Then why did you do it?! Why’d you make Miguel get involved if you know he hates it?’ you hissed.

Peter held up both hands in defense. ‘Hey! I just- oh, god, I’m so out of shape- look, I’m not oblivious! I’m not tryna be mean, or rude, I don't even celebrate this stuff, but—I just don’t want him to be alone again.’

You paused your intended onslaught when you saw the sincerity in Peter’s eyes.

‘Alone, again?’ you repeated back. Peter nodded.

‘Yes! He doesn’t—he doesn’t have any family. Not here, not even in another universe, he’s… It’s a hard time of year when you’re alone, even for regular people, but, he’s—’

‘Anything but regular’ you murmured. Peter gave another grim nod.

You sighed, hard.

‘Look, Peter, we’re worried about the same thing’ you insisted. ‘But just- forcing him to spend time around other people who have what he doesn’t have, how does that help?’

Peter held up his hands in surrender. ‘Yeah, I- I know. I know. I just thought- Sometimes, when he looks at May or holds her, I catch him smiling to himself. I catch him making those soft little dad noises at her and, I just thought, maybe he wanted more of it?’

The mental image Peter was painting made your stomach knot. You could see it so clearly, Miguel’s old worn face lifting into a smile as May cooed at him, as she reminded him of those long dormant instincts. It made your heart hurt.

‘But then other times he- he looks so defeated, and I… Well, my good intentions don’t really matter, do they? Either way I screwed up. I should have just, locked you two in a room or something, eh?’

You blanched at his sudden curtness. ‘You- what? What, what are you- aha, what are you implying, Peter? There’s no—’

‘Shh, shh.’

You stiffened as Peter put one finger to your lips. ‘Don’t wear yourself out, little lady, I know what you and my dear friend Miguel are up to.’

You could feel your face getting warm, and you were sure he could tell. Peter’s stupid puppy dog smile crept back onto his face as he watched you squirm internally.

‘What I meant was, I should have just done what he wanted, not what I wanted. And I’m fairly sure all he wants is to sit in a dark room on a couch watching some stupid old soap opera film while you sit next to him and, I don’t know, gaze at him adoringly.’

Slowly your body began to loosen up. Peter was right, there was no point lying. You reached up to remove his finger from your mouth.

‘I’d have liked that too’ you murmured.

In that moment it didn’t feel like there was anywhere else to go. You’d hit a wall, and the two of you were forced to just pace in the corridor in thought. That was, until something Peter had said stuck out to you in retrospect.

‘Hey, um—’

You held up a hand, awkwardly gesturing for Peter to come closer. He obliged, his adorable puppy face tilting as you mulled over what you were about to do.

‘This secret santa thing, could… could you do me a favor?’

Peter’s eyes lit up. You hadn’t stated your intentions but he already knew where this was going. Yes, you and Miguel were meant to be a secret. Yes, Jess had stated very clearly that it wasn’t a good idea to indulge it. But god, Peter couldn’t help himself. He was a romantic at heart.

‘What kind of favor?’ he whispered.

You leaned in closer and whispered back. ‘You’re in charge of handing them out, right? I want you to shift the names around. I want you to give Miguel to me. Nobody has to know, cos... yanno, it’s secret, but… could you do that for me?’

Peter beamed. ‘I can do that one hundred percent, ma’am, without a single issue.’

You beamed back. ‘Perfect! Thanks Peter, ah- sorry for snapping at you earlier.’

‘Hey, it’s all water under the bridge.’

As Peter flapped his hands dismissively you gazed up at the beams above. You sighed again.

You were supposed to spend Christmas with your family this year like always. It’d been a while since you’d seen them after all, and it was always something you looked forward to when you got the chance.

But, you felt like there was someone who maybe needed you a little more this year.

…

It was Christmas eve and almost all of the spiders at the HQ had gone home. The place was eerily empty without the usual crowds. With heavy snow falling outside the place felt liminal, like a building outside of space and time.

It was in this sea of nothing that Miguel appeared. He was walking alone through the lobby at a speedy pace, dressed in just slacks and a t-shirt. He was trying his best not to linger. He didn’t like to think about how alone he was, nor did he like to dwell on the echo of his footsteps. The only man left, the only footsteps in the whole HQ.

The echo felt cruel to him. It was like laughter, reflecting back to him his own isolation. He felt so small.

He found his way to the elevator and rode it up to the tippy top of the HQ, and all the way up he mourned his situation.

He missed you. You hadn’t had time to speak properly after the party incident, and he missed you dearly. He was left to think about what you might be doing, somewhere far from here, relishing the holiday with family. What was your family like, he wondered? Mum, dad, both, neither? Did you have siblings to bond with, or nieces or nephews to gift presents too?

You were always so kind. So soft. He was sure you’d planned their gifts well in advance. He smiled at the thought of you panicking over gifts, or getting excited over whatever they’d gotten for you. He daydreamed about your gleeful, shining face beneath the glinting lights.

What a sweet, domestic image. He wanted more than anything to just cling to it for a little while longer, but fate was cruel. The elevator came to a stop and jolted him back to reality, as its doors peeled aside to reveal the empty corridor to his apartment.

His smile faded. He looked exhausted. With heavy steps he trudged his way to his front door.

‘I’m home’ he muttered as he pushed the door aside. It was a cruel routine he did every time he got back to his apartment, calling out to a family that didn’t exist. As expected, nobody replied. With a soft grunt he kicked off his shoes and began to fumble for the light.

‘Welcome back.’

Miguel jumped in his skin, his claws bursting out as his suit automatically covered his body. In a defensive position he slammed the light back on.

‘WHO’S THERE?!’

His narrowed eyes darted about the now lit apartment before falling on a single figure in the center of the room, a figure sitting perfectly cross legged on his messy couch.

His eyes widened. It was you.

‘You… nena?’

Miguel lowered his mask to reveal his utterly stupefied expression. You couldn’t help but smile.

‘Hey, aha- sorry for the uh, theatrics, but… I mean that was kind of the point, right?’

Your awkward laugh filled the apartment as Miguel tilted his head.

‘Why- why are you here? How did you get IN?’ he asked. As he phased away the rest of his suit you swung your legs over the edge of the couch, hands clasped in your lap. You were trying your best to look like you knew what you were doing.

‘Ah- you don’t lock your door, so- I just walked in.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You never lock your door’ you repeated gently. ‘You always forget, or you stay at work so late you never come back to lock it. You told me, last time I was here, remember?’

‘I… did, didn’t I’ he grunted. After a brief silent stare off Miguel turned and began silently taking off his shoes, leaving you sitting in the stillness.

You smiled to hide your anxiety. You couldn’t tell from his expression yet how he felt about your little jape, and you hadn’t even fully revealed your plan yet.

‘Nena, I am happy to see you, obviously, but…’

‘Obviously?’ you teased. He bashfully held up a hand.

‘Hey, come on, don’t start. You hid in my apartment without telling me, of course I’m going to be surprised, I would have jumped regardless of who it was.’

‘I know, I know, I’m kidding.’

Miguel shook his head. He looked exasperated but still mildly amused. ‘I am happy to see you, nena, really, but… as I was saying, why ARE you here?’

‘Well duh. I’m your secret santa.’

Miguel blinked. Now he looked even more confused.

‘You… Nena, you weren’t—’

‘On the ballot? No! I wasn’t. But SOMEHOW, I got on there! Call it uh- divine intervention, maybe—’

‘I’d call it Peter meddling’ Miguel grunted.

‘Ah, same thing! Don’t think about it!’

Miguel paused before properly responding to your shenanigans, opting instead to drop his stuff and slump onto the empty couch spot at your side. Your whole body bounced as he sat down.

‘Alright. I got it. So- Peter probably bribed you into spending Christmas with me, huh? Or did he blackmail you? Wait- nena, did he blackmail you?! I swear I will—’

‘What? No!’ You waved your hands and scoffed, quickly patting him back down from his brewing rage. ‘God you’re bad at this. I had a go at Peter for making you do holiday stuff when you were clearly unhappy, he said he only did it ‘cos he was trying to make you feel less lonely. So, I asked him myself to put me as your secret santa, and I planned this whole charade. Because I- also, want you to be happy, just, not by way of enforced socialization. I know you hate it.’

Miguel stared at you with his hand halfway down his jaw. He looked utterly stupefied.

‘You… I, will never understand you’ he said softly, the words barely a breath. You just kept your smile as wide as you could.

‘So- you’re—’

‘Happy secret santa!’

You interrupted Miguel’s attempted speech by dumping a huge wrapped present box on his lap. Miguel froze, his eyes locked on the box like it was a venomous snake, a perfect contrast to you as you eagerly slapped your thighs with excitement.

‘Go on! Open it!’

‘This- what is it?’ Miguel hissed. You reached out and incessantly patted his bicep.

‘It’s your- present! So open it! NOW!’

‘Okay! Okay! Ay Dios—’

With a soft grunt Miguel hurried to unwrap the box, shyly lifting the top flaps aside. He peered down into it while you clapped your hands beside him.

‘It’s…’

Miguel reached in and pulled out a handful of items.

‘It’s- so that’s that chocolate you mentioned months ago that you loved as a kid. The chilli one. I had to get it imported, I was SO worried it wouldn’t arrive but it did! Yay!’

Miguel slowly turned the wrapped candy over in his hand. ‘Nena, you—’

‘And that’s some new boxers. I hope you don’t mind, but I remember you said it’s the one thing you always run out of because you don’t wear anything else under the suit usually so you needed more— I made sure they were in your colors though!’

Miguel glanced down at the pack of boxers you’d brought him. They were, indeed, custom printed in red and blue. He just kept mumbling to himself, unable to form a real response.

‘And- I got you that copy of your favorite film, because I know you have everything digitized but you’re a sucker for just having things, it means Lyla can’t see ‘em, and… Oh, what’s that- OH! Yes, and I got you a voucher, for the canteen, I paid for like, a MONTHS worth of empanadas in advance so you or I can use those there for, like, maybe a week, knowing us.’

‘Nena, this is… really, thoughtful’ he murmured. You beamed.

‘At-at-at, it’s not over yet. And, finally, well… I thought, I could stay over, maybe. Keep you company. Spend Christmas here.’

Miguel’s mouth was agape.

‘Not like- I don’t want to um, make this more serious than it needs to be, like, this can be just a… friends with benefits, Christmas? I don’t know, what I’m saying is I just want to, you know, be here. With you. As a… whatever we are. For Christmas.’

Miguel, still stunned, slowly shook his head.

‘But, nena, your family—’

‘Ah, they’ll be fine! They’ve had me for every Christmas since I was BORN! That is like, an unfathomable amount of me to deal with’ you teased. Miguel’s solemn expression slowly tilted, his lips sliding into a half-smile.

‘Ah, so you’re offsetting their burden to me this year, huh?’

‘Mhm! You’re stuck with me.’

Bit by bit, Miguel’s heart melted. That cold exterior turned soft under your earnest smile. He slowly pushed the box of gifts aside so he could face you properly.

‘I- couldn’t think of a better gift, than being stuck with you’ he said. You felt a rush of warmth through your whole body, and instinctively tried to bat it away.

‘Aha, no, come on. Even the chocolate?’

‘It is, much, much better than that’ he said. His voice had gone unnervingly quiet, unnervingly gentle. You felt your heart flutter.

‘Well, I’m… glad. I’m, glad you’re happy I’m here. Now- do you wanna help me cook, maybe? I’m not sure what you’ve got but, we can make something work, right?’

Miguel nodded slowly. His eyes were utterly fixated on your face, on your little joyful dimples and wide eyes.

‘Sure. Sure, mi nena. I’d love that.’

You smiled so wide it hurt. ‘Mm. Good! Good. I’ll uh- get started then.’

Miguel watched as you scrambled to your feet and rushed to his tiny kitchenette. For just a moment, he decided to hang back. He was trying to hide his instinctual fear from you. He was happy, yes, deliriously so, but that scared him down to his core. He wasn’t supposed to be happy.

Had he let this go too far? He still wasn’t sure if any of this could get you hurt, if this somehow upset his canon. He was supposed to be alone after all, and yet, here you were.

With dilated eyes he glanced at the enormous glass wall overlooking the city. It was still snowing outside, heavy and hard, and Nueva was coated in a soft, dreamy blanket of white which glittered in the rainbow city lights.

It was beautiful. Serene. He bent and whispered into his watch.

‘Lyla?’

‘Yes?’

‘Ah- are there, any anomalies?’

‘No sir, none.’

Miguel’s eyes softened a little. Huh, he thought, no anomalies at all?

‘Are you sure?’ he whispered again. Lyla flashed a small red X at him over the watch.

‘None! None at all! I already said that!’

Part of him wanted to ask her a third time but he stopped himself. No, Lyla was trained to know this stuff, she had to be right. That meant this, at the very least, wasn’t breaking his canon. For now.

He stole a glance at you in the kitchen as you rummaged through his fridge. Even that small, mundane activity, watching you forage around and tut to yourself, made his heart a little less heavy. In fact, it made it light. The sight of your face smiling, the way you bit your tongue to concentrate as you separated food on the counter, it felt like bird wings fluttering in his chest.

‘Ay por Dios- I’m too old to be doing this’ Miguel mumbled to himself, but despite his gripes he was just too intoxicated to stop. It felt too good to be this content, this flushed and flighty and nervous. If this was safe, well, perhaps he could just stay here. Perhaps he could just stay with you, just the two of you, in this sweet heavenly limbo.

‘Okay. Ah- thank you, Lyla. That’s all’ he mumbled. Miguel went to close the receiver, but he paused at the last second. He decided to whisper one more thing.

‘Ah- merry Christmas, Lyla.’

‘You- what?’

Miguel grunted, already embarrassed, but he repeated it again. ‘I- I said, you know—’

‘Yeah I heard you, I’m just surprised’ Lyla crowed. ‘What’s got you all soft and mushy? Finally feeling the spirit of the season?’

Miguel refused to make eye contact as Lyla appeared in holographic form, her eyes roaming his dumpy apartment. It didn’t take long for her to notice you in the kitchen.

‘You- ooohhh. Oh. I got it.’

Lyla shot him a smug grin as she tilted her glasses. ‘Maybe not the spirit of the season, but you’re sure feelin’ something, huh boss?’

‘Get- out of here’ he hissed.

‘Merry Christmas boss. You two be safe now.’

Before Miguel could snap anything back Lyla phased herself away. She even made a point of switching his watch off for him, a subtle indicator that she knew he ought to be alone with you right now.

Miguel took her advice and gently slipped his watch off. It would be fine on the counter. Now fully certain that the two of you were alone, he rose to his feet and joined you in the kitchen. He had only one thing left on his mind.

You were busy sorting out leftovers when you felt his shadow at your back. The weight of his pecs pushed in against your head as his hips brushed your rear, very lightly pressing you against the counter.

‘Oof- oh, hey! There you are, you okay?’

You tilted your head back, a goofy smile spread across your face, only to have it immediately wiped.

Miguel wasn’t offering his same slightly stilted smile. He had an expression that you were now very familiar with, but it wasn’t one you were expecting to see right now. Those half-lidded eyes, that open smile, the way his breath condensed slightly as it huffed between his bared fangs. You felt the red light of his gaze gawking at you, admiring just how small you looked against his chest.

He pushed a little closer and you oomphed again.

‘Ah- h-hey, Miguel, you—’

‘I didn’t get you a present’ he said slowly. You watched as each of his clawed hands came down on the counter, trapping you in. Your body trembled with excitement.

‘You- you didn’t’ you stammered back. He seemed to be enjoying your little quivers.

‘I feel bad’ he murmured. ‘Mi nena went to, such lengths for me. So I want to give you something too.’

You tensed up with anticipation. Your whole body was on fire, and you couldn’t wait to—

Right in the middle of your fantasizing, Miguel pulled away. You watched as he withdrew and hurried off to the edge of his bed.

‘Ah… Mi- ahem, uh- Miguel?’

He didn’t reply. He was busy pulling out a draw and rummaging through its contents. You watched in a daze.

After a minute or so Miguel finally hurried back to your side, his hand now held behind his back. You tried to put on a grateful smile.

‘Aha, hey, so uh- what, what did you—’

Halfway through speaking he interrupted you again, this time by forcing some unseen object into your palm. It felt cold, whatever it was. Hard and cold. He closed your fist around it with both his hands.

‘For you, mi nena. Okay, now… look.’

Miguel slowly withdrew his hands, allowing you to unfurl your fist.

It was a key. Or, more specifically, a keycard, used to swipe open doors in the HQ. You had one yourself for cleaning people’s private offices, but you’d never seen one like this. You couldn’t help but frown.

‘What- wait, wait is this your— is, this your apartment key?’

Miguel’s affectionate smile was answer enough. You couldn’t hide the flood of excitement and surprise that overcame you.

‘OH! Oh, I- are you sure? Like, really- you’re sure, Mig? I don’t wanna pressure you, like—’

‘I’m sure, nena. I’m very sure.’

‘Oh my god- but, again I just- are you ABSOLUTELY sure?’

Miguel rolled his eyes a little. ‘Yes. Nena, I am sure.’

‘But you’re SURE you’re—MMF!’

In a spontaneous move Miguel bent down and roughly drew you up into a kiss. He was ravenous enough that you dropped his key to the floor, and passionate enough that all your thoughts turned to mush.

You melted into his grip as he pushed you against the counter, uttering the weakest moan you could as he parted your lips and began exploring your mouth with his tongue. The little nips of his fangs, the way his tongue bullied yours until you were drooling down the side of your mouth, it made your legs weak. Luckily his claws were there to hold you up.

‘Mmm- mm!’

Without words he hoisted you into his arms, letting your legs struggle to wrap around his waist. He was too big for you to fit but he was strong enough to hold you regardless, and indeed he relished in the chance to sneak a squeeze at your rear as he did so. Your hands gripped his muscular neck for dear life.

‘Nena—' he hissed between kisses, ‘mi nena- mi nena.’

Your back hit the wall as he pushed you up. He was getting rougher. His teeth kept hitting yours as the make-out grew messy, and his claws were digging small holes into your clothes. You gingerly bit his lip and he returned the favor.

When he pulled back you were panting for air.

‘Mig—f-fuck, Miguel—’

‘No talking’ he barked, pressing a firm kiss to your neck. You arched it back so he could access it more easily, and with an approving grunt he ran his tongue from collarbone to jaw.

‘Unless you’re screaming for me, no words’ he hissed in your ear. ‘I want to show mi nena, why you’re the best gift I could get.’

‘F-Fuck—’

As you tried to catch your breath he pressed his lips to your neck once more, gently kissing from spot to spot as if searching for something.

‘I want- to do something for you, nena. Something you said you wanted.’

‘You—what do you mean—’

He gave you no time to even respond before sinking his heavy fangs into your neck. All you could do was squeak.

It always surprised you just how big he was, how powerful. You felt his teeth moving beneath the skin as his lips sucked, a strange miasma of warmth, stinging pain and pleasure that lulled you into submission.

‘A-Ah- Mig—’

Your mouth fell open into a brainless gasp as he clamped his jaw on your frail skin.

‘Mm- mmm-‘

He let out a muffled moan as he started to slowly seep venom into your blood. The pleasure seemed to be too much for him as well, as he’d started to impatiently dry hump your body into the wall. Now penetrated on his teeth and crushed by his torso, you could do nothing but moan.

After god knows how long he retracted his teeth, carefully licking the wounds he’d left. You whined. You were lightheaded but not paralyzed this time, as it seemed he’d controlled the flow of venom. The rest was drooling down his chin and staining his shirt. He grunted and wiped it on the back of his hand, all while easily maintaining your weight with just one palm.

‘Good girl’ he groaned. ‘You okay?’

You gave a dreamy nod. ‘Y-Yeah… fuck yeah, just- you said, we couldn’t do that. I-It’s too noticeable.’

His self-satisfied grin made you even dizzier. ‘That’s my present to myself’ he purred, carefully admiring his work. Your neck was bruised and red from the hickey, with four clean marks showing his distinctive marking. He kissed each mark. ‘It’ll heal by the time everyone gets back, but, for tonight—’

You tensed as he leaned in, his breath brushing your ear. ‘You’re mine. And I will mark you as such.’

You whimpered at those words, something which stroked his ego to unimaginable degrees. He couldn’t contain his throbbing need any longer.

‘Now- let me give you your second gift’ he purred.

With your body suspended in his hands he began to teasingly rip each piece of clothing aside. He started slow, just using his fangs to gingerly unclasp each button of your blouse, but his cock was throbbing painfully in his pants at this point and the teasing was too much.

He resorted to just ripping it all to shreds, all while whispering that he’d buy you a new outfit.

Once you were fully naked in his palms he allowed his organic webs to stick you to the wall, with legs spread and arms pinned at your sides. He manipulated it to look like a shibari rope, perfectly highlighting each little part of you he loved. He whistled.

‘Gorgeous, nena. Mi nena hermosa.’

You were panting now, flushed and just a little shy to be no more than a display on his wall. You felt his clawed hands sink into your thighs as he patted them, enjoying the way the fat and muscle squeezed between his fingers.

‘Mine’ he whispered.

‘Ah- Mig—’

He crept closer and gently pressed his lips to your spread slit. His arm was hooked around your right leg, holding you close as he breathed you in. The feel of hot air hitting your clit made you squirm.

‘Mine.’

He repeated that word, once, with such vigor it scared you, before finally allowing himself to lick at your cunt. Your breathy moan filled his apartment.

‘Mig, f-fuck—!’

Your whole body shuddered as he began to messily make out with your spread sex, his lips and tongue ravenously moving between starving licks and hard sucking. You watched his head gently arch and bob back and forth with each movement.

Your clit was swollen at this point, with a desperate need to be touched, and each warm, wet, rough flick of his tongue was sending the most gratifying jolts of pleasure through your body.

‘Please, please, more’ you whined.

Miguel had tried to offset his own need by palming at his hard cock over his slacks, but he was just too aroused at this point. With a grunt he pulled back and manically ripped his pants down.

‘Fuck- you’re delicious.’

He jerked at his boxers until his cock sprung forth. You could see the little strings of precum already coating his lower belly and shirt, and internally whined that you didn’t get to lick them off yourself.

You watched as he started to stroke himself, his cock straining in his fist as he returned his tongue to your clit. You knew he was trying to make you jealous.

‘Eyes on me, nena’ he murmured, deliberately speaking close enough that you could feel his full lips moving over your spread sex. You squirmed in the bindings.

‘F-Fuck- you can’t show me that and- tell me not to look.’

He chuckled a little at your insistence. He couldn’t help but indulge. He was so used to despising his amalgamated body that seeing the way you foamed at the mouth for him was both arousing and comforting. He wanted to see you whine and strain, begging for his cock. He wanted to see you eye his muscled body like a starving animal.

‘My poor nena’ he cooed. ‘You want to look that badly?’

You nodded furiously. ‘Please- please, please—’

‘Okay. As you wish.’

With a smug final kiss to your inner thighs Miguel drew back from your body, instead bracing himself before you as he continued to stroke his cock.

You got a perfect view of his body like this, just like you wanted, but as punishment you were left wet and shaking with no stimulation.

‘M-Miguel, come on’ you whined. He shook his head.

‘No, nena, you get what you asked for.’

God, he did look good though. It was all you had to distract yourself from the aching throb of your clit as it begged for release.

You started by honing in on his face. That chiseled jaw, those full lips and narrowed, almond eyes, burning red in the dim light, it was a look that haunted your most perverse dreams nearly every night.

You swallowed hard and allowed your eyes to roam down. His body was just as enticing, after all.

His huge, sloped shoulders rippled as he rolled them, perfectly framing his fat, rounded pecs beneath his shirt. Your eyes drifted to the mounds of his abs, the way his waist and hips dipped in before sloping out to form his heavily muscled thighs.

You wanted to touch him so bad. You wanted your face in those pecs, you wanted your hands stroking the firm, sharp V cut of his pelvis leading down to what you wanted the most. His cock, now straining in his hand, thick and almost alarmingly girthy, its tip already glistening with pre-cum.

You strained in your web a second time.

‘Miggy- please, please, I’ll do anything!’

‘Muy preciosa’ he groaned. His own eyes were roaming now, eagerly gawking at your spread and naked body. You spied his cock throbbing as he looked at you and flushed, your skin glowing beneath the sweat now beading on your temples.

‘F-Fuck… this is so cruel—’

‘It’s what you wanted.’

‘I need you, please—’

‘Be patient, nena.’

He bit his lower lip as he started to peak, his own eyes glued to your spread legs, spying the little drips of slick sliding down from your desperate hole.

It was getting hard for him to hold back. He liked teasing you, yes, but it was almost painful to look and not touch like this. He wanted to bury himself in your hair as he rutted inside you, he wanted to bite your neck as he thrust your body into a mewling mess.

He wanted it. He wanted to penetrate you.

For just a second, in the heat and the passion and the peaking desperation, his mind lapsed. He indulged in that one perverse fantasy he tried his best to hide. He thought about cumming in you, and he thought about it sticking. He thought about cumming in you and knowing it would get you pregnant.

A low shudder ran up from his toes to his head, and he was forced to slow his fist to avoid coating the floor in his seed.

‘Fuck… fuck, okay. Okay. Teasing over.’

With a snap of his teeth he stormed back over and practically buried his face in your cunt. You jolted at the sudden intrusion.

‘M-Miguel—’

Your pleading turned to mewling whines as his full, flat tongue began bullying your clit, eagerly rubbing and stroking that sensitive nub while his hands got busy. With one hand still fisting his cock he allowed the other to slide up and inside you, filling you with two of his fingers.

‘F-Fuck--!’

‘Be good, nena.’

You bit your lip hard as he started to move his calloused fingers in and out. His skin was rough as it stroked your cunt, and he made sure that you felt it. He wanted to feel you, wanted to feel every tensing muscle and throbbing nerve, every wet little inch of that cunt he craved so badly to possess. He wanted to imprint himself on your insides.

As he began to fuck you with his fingers his lips buried themselves back into your folds, sucking ravenously at your clit. The double pressure was too much for you to take.

‘Miggy—fuck, ‘s so good—’

You could see Miguel’s eyes glazing over. It was his favorite thing, to put your pussy on his lips and taste you, to feel your wetness on your tongue. The taste, the sensation, it all made him feel drunk, but it was also so vulnerable of you to let this monster put you inside his mouth.

His soft nena, his sweet nena, letting him eat you out. Letting him coat you in his bodily fluids.

‘Cum for me’ he grunted. His fingers began to speed up. ‘Cum- for- me’ he begged, aggressively licking you between each word.

You had no escape; you obeyed. You climaxed on his mouth almost violently, straining and spasming with each throb of pleasure.

‘Miguel- f-fuck--!’

Miguel groaned as he felt you gush over his fingers. His eyes were hazy, his fangs bared. It was too much.

In a blur he used his claws to crawl up the wall, positioning himself so that his pelvis fell between your legs. He pushed down and began furiously grinding his bare cock against your clit, ridding out your orgasm with you.

‘F-Fuck, careful- c-careful, its- sensitive- m-mm—’

Your pleading went unheard over his panic panting and grunting. You lay back and let him grind out his frustration, his need, and allowed yourself instead to lull in the pleasure of his overstimulation.

‘So… fucking, good… soft little nena, fuck- you’re delicious.’

With a soft whine Miguel dropped back down, idly cutting you free as he went. He caught your body bridal style.

‘Ah- well, I-I think your present beat mine’ you panted. You were still lightheaded from cumming and had a dumb little dreamy smile on your face, and all you could think to do was tease him.

Miguel didn’t laugh. Without a word he carried your body across the apartment.

‘Ah- Miggy?’

Miguel gently put your body on the ground, allowing you to steady yourself before moving away.

‘Put this on.’

You jumped as he began manically pulling one of his shirts over your head, one so large on you that it looked like a dress. The moment your arms were through the holes he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder again.

‘M-Mig? What- what are we doing?’

You oomphed as he lowered you back to the floor and spun you around. Your eyes widened; you were pressed right against the open window wall of his apartment. He pressed you into it, hard enough that your breasts and belly were squished against the cool glass. Even with the t-shirt on it was cold.

‘I’m showing off my soft little thing’ Miguel purred. You realized, then, that he was stripping the last of his clothes off behind you.

‘Mig—’

‘Not completely, of course’ he whispered in your ear. ‘Only I get to look at you naked. But… I will happily demonstrate that you’re mine.’

With another low grunt he lifted you back up. He kept one arm braced around your waist and the other on your inner right thigh, spreading your legs apart as he lifted you to the exact right height. The perfect height, where his hips could slot in against your rear and his cock could brush up against your slit.

You let out a soft pant. You were horrified about being seen like this, but, were you? Was it not causing your post-orgasm body to throb with absolute delight? Was it not causing our insides to tense with desire?

After all, you wanted to be his, didn’t you? You wanted that mark on your neck. You liked the idea, secretly, of everyone knowing what he’d done to you. You started to tremble with excitement.

His breath stirred your hair as he adjusted his stance. You could feel his bulbous member nudging at your pussy, begging it to take him.

‘Miggy- fuck, please, please do it.’ Your hole was clenching around nothing, desperate to be filled. Miguel chuckled.

‘What do you want?’

‘I want- I want you to fuck me.’

‘Who do you want to fuck you?’

‘F-Fuck- ah, M-Miguel, I want you to fuck me, please—’

The breath was knocked from your lungs as he forced his cock inside you. He had to push a few times to get deeper, gently but urgently coaxing your muscles to loosen up, but with a final sigh he pushed in and bottomed out. You winced, your fingers scraping on the glass.

‘Mm- good girl nena, that’s it. Just- stay still for me. You’ll adjust. Good girl. Good girl.’ He was already panting, his chest heaving like a drowning man taking that lifesaving breath.

You bit your lip until it bled. God, you could feel him sliding around inside you. His little explorative slips were creating the most toe-curling sounds; soft, wet squishing noises, mixed with the soft slap where he’d bottomed out and was hitting his pelvis against your rear.

‘You like that, nena?’

You manically nodded your head. ‘M-Mhm, mhm.’

Your legs were shaking. He was deep enough to hurt, deep enough that whenever you moved even an inch you could feel his cock pressing into those soft walls. He was stretching you hard; he’d filled all the space available and then forced you to make more. How did you keep forgetting how large he was?

‘Good, good.’ Miguel stretched his neck and settled himself into a more comfortable position. With both hands bracing your waist and hips, he angled himself to start thrusting. ‘Now, stay like that, and let’s give them a good show, eh?’

Before you could respond he’d started to fuck you, his hips bucking to get deeper. You moaned aloud.

He was rough from the start, eagerly rutting against your rear in a way that made the most erotic smacking sound. The glass was cold on your bare chest and belly as he pushed you up against it.

‘M-Miguel—’

‘Shh, you’re doing good nena. You- feel so, so good.’

His breath condensed against the glass with each hard pump he took. Each rhythmic thrust was perfectly timed with his hot, heavy panting.

‘Fuck… fuck, you’re- so big—’ Your attempt at praise was jolting into fragments, as each hard slip of his cock was enough to wind you completely. Miguel’s grip tightened as he pushed you harder against the glass.

‘You’re so small, nena’ he purred. ‘How do you take it so well?’

You mewled as he angled himself to kiss your cervix, a sensation that ached while still being unbearably pleasurable. Your body was like a limp doll in his hands, stretched and fitted to his massive girth.

‘You’re mine’ he groaned.

‘You’re mine. Mine- mine—’

He gave three hard thrusts to match each utterance of his claim over you, each once drawing another loud moan from you. The city lights blazed around your body as he held you up and rutted between your legs.

‘Mine—mine—’

Through the snow it was hard to tell if anyone could have seen you. Someone in one of the skyscrapers across the road could certainly get a view of your silhouette’s manically fucking against the window, and that was enough to make you clench.

You wanted to be his. You were his.

But then, right on the cusp of some utterly gratifying peak, Miguel pulled out of you. His cock sent a pool of slick dribbling down your thighs to the floor where it formed a small puddle, an embarrassing display of how much you’d been squirting.

Usually Miguel would have teased you for it, but he was manic right now.

‘Fuck it- I need to look at you.’

He pulled your body up bridal style and carried you back over to his unmade mattress, throwing you onto it with little delicacy or thought. He was too horny for that.

Now on your back he ripped his own shirt from your body and threw it aside. You didn’t even get a chance to speak. All you could do was moan as he split your legs apart and pushed in between them, easily slipping his girthy shaft back inside you with a guttural groan.

‘Fuck- fuck, you look so good.’

His eyes were fixed on you as he started to rut again, his hips bucking and smacking your pelvis until it was numb. Your hands flew up to his neck where you held on as hard as you could.

He wanted it all. He watched each part of you that bounced when he thrust into you. He watched your eyes roll and your coy little lip bites when your cunt squelched for him. He watched the way you winced and mewled when he kissed your cervix with his cock. His hands suddenly grabbed your wrists and pinned them down, forcing you to face him.

‘You like that, nena?’

‘Ye- f-fuck- yes, y-yes—’

You’d been fucked dumb at this point. You could barely get a word out. Miguel smirked.

‘Are you mine?’ he barked.

‘Yes.’

‘Say it.’

‘I-I’m yours, Miguel.’

His fangs flexed as he started to thrust harder. He pulled out all the way and then snapped his hips, penetrating your sopping pussy as deep as he could, until the overstimulation became too much for you and he resorted to just roughly humping with short, fast thrusts while halfway inside.

You were pathetic at this point. You’d drooled on his pillow and your slick was pooling on the unmade sheets. You’d cum a second time during his erratic thrusting, but you hadn’t even had the strength to tell him. All you could do was worship, meekly moaning his name with each thrust.

‘Miguel—Miguel—Miguel—’

Once again, on the verge of climax, Miguel indulged. He just couldn’t stop that intrusive fantasy.

He pictured himself somewhere else, anywhere but here, holding you down in his hands as he fucked to completion. You were his, all his, and he didn’t have to hide you or fear you. Perhaps you were his wife, or fiancé at the least. He could be your husband. He was yours, and you were all his, and now he was going to finish in you. He was going to breed your perfect little body. He was going to get you pregnant, because you wanted him, and you wanted to carry his babies.

He bent back to watch his cock as it penetrated. He was thrusting hard and thrusting fast, desperately pumping back and forth.

‘Mi nena’ he whined. ‘I’m going to cum in you now, okay?’

You felt every curve, every inch, every throb as he got closer to his own climax. You could tell he was close because he was getting erratic. His rhythmic pumps were becoming animalistic.

‘A-Ah- please, Miggy, fuck- please cum in me.’

Your hands scrabbled to hold onto anything as his groans got louder. Those words from you were too much for him to handle.

‘Gonna- cum in you- so hard—’

‘Miguel!’

With one extra loud groan he ejaculated, thrusting hard with each spurt to ensure it got as deep as possible. He wanted you to take it all, and you did. You were frozen in place, trapped, taking every inch of the larger man’s load. Those thick, white ropes filled every inch, all warm and wet and heavy.

Miguel whined as his thrusts slowed, until at last he rocked to a halt.

He’d done it again. He’d slipped back into the fantasy, imagining just briefly as his orgasm took over that he was breeding you. Now as he struggled to catch his breath, he felt that lingering guilt and shame.

Luckily, he had you here to wash away that guilt. He looked down and watched you pant beneath him, your lips parted and eyes utterly glazed over. Your muffled moans of satisfaction filled him with pride.

‘Good girl’ he whispered. He bent and pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead. ‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

‘N-No, no, it… mm…’

You tried to speak but quickly collapsed again into a mushy pile of pleasure and exhaustion, something Miguel found very privately amusing.

‘Alright, just- stay still, I’ll, get you a towel.’

Miguel slid out of you carefully. He watched his seed drip out as he pulled away, clinging to his shaft and pooling from your hole. He heard you give another muffled moan as he released you from the heavy weight of his cock.

God it made him dizzy. Even knowing that it couldn’t do what he wanted it to do, it still made him rabid. As he pulled out fully he couldn’t help himself; he used two fingers to sneakily push some of his cum back inside you. It felt wrong, yes, but it felt too good to not do. It sent shivers up his spine, and even post-orgasm his cock twitched as he watched himself stuffing you with it.

With that guilty indulgence out of the way he did then do what he’d promised, pulling on his boxers and rushing to find you a towel while you lay face down in his bed. When he returned after a few minutes of looking for a clean one, you were still in the same position.

‘Nena?’

You awkwardly waved your hand to show you were alive. Miguel chuckled again. He gently bent at the knee and helped clean the mess he’d made of your thighs, all while you moaned and shifted in the sheets. He quickly tossed the used towel onto the pile already filling his hamper before crawling back into bed with you.

‘Mi nena.’ He immediately shoved his face into your hair, breathing in your scent. You squirmed until you were pressed right against him.

‘Hey there, bestie.’

Miguel snorted a laugh. ‘Alright. Fine. I did say you could do it in private.’

‘Mhm.’

With a sigh Miguel rolled onto his back and puffed up the pillows at his back, allowing him to lie slightly propped up while you clung to his side. You nestled your cheek into his pec as your arm explored his belly.

You weren’t sure how long you dozed beside him. There was something especially comforting about lying side by side, completely naked and alone beneath a thin sheet, slowly warming yourselves off of each other’s body heat.

You were so cozy, for lack of a better word. You were safe, warm, wanted. And so was he.

As the sky turned dark and the snow gained a ghostly glow against the windowpane, Miguel gently shook you awake.

‘Hey, nena?’

You rolled your eyes up to his face.

‘Yeah?’

‘You awake?’

‘Well I am now.’

Miguel’s half-smile betrayed just how uncommon it was for him to smile anymore, but as he watched your grumpy little face nestle into his chest it became a little easier to do.

‘I… ah, okay. How do I say this…’

He smooshed his cheek as he gazed into the distance, his foot nervously tapping on the mattress edge. You tilted your head.

‘You okay?’

He shot you a glance as his hand came down to his jaw. There was a strange intensity to his eyes that took you off guard.

‘Mig?’

Slowly, bit by bit, that smile returned. It was strained, yes, but soft as well.

‘I like you’ he said. You blinked.

‘You… what?’

‘I like you’ Miguel repeated. He sounded a little more confident this time. ‘I… I like you a lot.’

You blinked again, unsure of how to respond. You defaulted to that same awkward, lopsided smile he’d given you earlier. ‘Aha, oh boy. Uh- I mean I like you too, but that’s a bit—’

‘No, no.’

Your eyes widened as he put a claw to your lips, smooshing them shut. As he smiled at you again he tilted his head, a move so adorable it made you squeak. It was so oddly vulnerable to see such a huge, chiseled man beaming with his head tilted like a curious dog.

‘No. I know what you’re thinking. That’s what someone says when they don’t want to admit they love someone. It’s a cop out, right?’

You shyly nodded and shrugged, trying to downplay how you’d felt, but he didn’t seem offput. His smile widened.

‘I don’t mean it like that, and I can prove it, but- first, just hear me out, okay?’

You nodded again, and watched as Miguel withdrew his claws from your mouth. He slid them down your lips to your chin, carefully resting that hooked, curved point on the soft fat beneath, and with the slightest of ease he tilted you to meet his gaze.

‘I like you’ he said softly. ‘I like you, just- as a person. And I don’t know the last time I’ve admitted that. I’ve met… thousands, millions of people, across a thousand universes, and in maybe 0.001% of cases I realize, I like this person.’

You felt your cheeks glowing under the intensity of his stare.

‘But I like you, and worse, I like you so much more than any of them. You’re so, kind, and carefree, and interesting and funny and... I used to think you were naïve, but you’re not. You’re worried, all the time, like me, but you try so hard to still be kind. I don’t get how you do it. Maybe I never will, but- I admire it. I adore it. And, I adore you. You’re just, so… so, ah- what’s the word…’

‘Soft?’ you mumbled. He actually let out a soft chuckle at that, and this one wasn’t sarcastic.

‘Yeah. You’re soft. My… soft, thing.’

You felt the heat growing in your face, and with it the glow increased. You pouted to try and offset how obvious it was that you were fawning over him.

‘I- I like you too, beautiful man’ you replied.

Miguel’s smile widened until you could see his fangs. For just a brief moment, you watched those soft smile lines erase all the hard, angry wrinkles in his face, revealing a strange vulnerability beneath.

‘I love you, nena’ he whispered.

You were mortified. Not from the words, but from your reaction. A high-pitched whine escaped your throat as your whole body tensed, your heart thundering in your chest, and as you tried to bite it all down at once you nearly made yourself sick. It must have shown because Miguel’s smile immediately dropped.

‘Ah, nena, are you—’

‘YEAH I’M GOOD! I’M—FUCK—I LOVE YOU TOO!’ you stammered in a manic cry.

Miguel looked a little offput at first, clearly confused, but it quickly dawned in him that you were panicking. He snorted back a laugh as you buried your face in your hands.

‘Oh my god I’m so sorry—’

‘No, nena, you didn’t do anything wrong’ Miguel soothed. He put a hand on your back and began to rub, all while you continued to make muffled apologies into your palms. ‘You’re all good.’

‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry—’

‘Why are you sorry, nena?’ he asked. You felt him put a sympathetic cheek against the crown of your head. ‘Do you have any idea how happy that made me?’

When you continued to whine Miguel opted to just grab you, pulling your whole body into a tight embrace. He forced your head between his pecs and your arms to his chest, while his muscular legs came around to encapsulate your own.

As the snow swirled outside he cradled you against him, warm and safe, totally cut off from the rest of the world. You felt your eyelids drooping.

‘I love you’ you whispered. Miguel fought the urge to cry.

‘I love you too.’

Somewhere a clock chimed, beeping to indicate that midnight had passed.

‘Merry Christmas, Mig’ you whispered into his chest. He squeezed you a little tighter.

‘Merry Christmas, nena.’

#miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #spider man 2099 #long read #a fortunate mistake #fem reader #x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #smut with plot #smut and fluff #christmas fluff fic

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allyjoe755 · 9 days

Text

What I Think Pt. 2

lucien vanserra x reader

Part One

Lucien's response to your claims.

A/N: thank you all for the love and support with part one, it made me really excited to do part two! I hope you enjoy

Word Count: 645

Warnings: angst.

o-o-o

He didn’t say anything for a moment. He didn’t so much as move as you both stood there, eyes locked on the other’s.

You thought you had won. That he knew you were right, that he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

But then he leaned against the wall behind him. He smirked.

And you seethed.

“So it’s me who has all the problems then, huh?” He began. “Oh, Cauldron forbid I want to be helpful to those around me.”

“You’re not helpful,” you spat. “You’re a needy man in disguise, parading his way through the courts. There’s a difference.”

“You’re not sacrificing,” he countered. “You’re just a martyr. And a piss-poor one at that.”

You scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“Need me to repeat myself?”

You rolled your eyes. “Obviously not. But I’m not a martyr.”

“Really?” He took a step toward you, that devilish smile still on his face. If it were appropriate, you would punch it.

Mother above, were you really betrothed to this man?

You weren’t a martyr. You weren’t looking for attention, for some sort of award for what you did. You did it because the court needed someone, they needed you–

Oh Gods.

“You want everyone to pity you,” he began. “That’s why you said yes to this arrangement, wasn’t it? Poor y/n, the girl stuck with the High Lord’s bastard son—“

“Stop it.” A fire began to form in your stomach, in your throat–

“Not only that, but he was already mated. Too bad she’ll never know true love–”

“I said stop it–”

“Poor y/n, and all the things she’s done and sacrificed for this court–”

“SHUT UP!”

You screamed the words, and Lucien was close enough that your noses were almost touching, that you were sure he could feel each of the heaving breaths you took.

You couldn’t say anything, couldn’t think–

You needed to leave. You couldn’t do this, maybe Lucien was right, you couldn’t do this, you couldn’t do this–

You didn’t realize your back was against the door until you felt yourself reaching for the door handle. And once you had a hold of that, you left.

You weren’t running, but you weren’t walking, either, you were just…. leaving. You had to get away. Get away from the situation, get away from the conversation, get away from him–

Because he was right. At least, you thought he was right, and you didn’t want to think about what it meant if he was right.

“Y/n.” He called your name from down the hall. His footsteps grew louder the closer he became. It didn’t stop you.

“Y/n, wait–”

He reached you, grabbing your arm as he did.

“Don’t touch me!” You cried, your voice more broken than you thought it was, than you wanted it to be, than you wanted him to hear it as.

He let go, almost immediately. You stayed still, unmoving. So did he.

You cursed that there was no clock in the hall, nothing to fill the silence between the two of you.

Finally, Lucien let out a sigh.

“Look, I—“

“Don’t try and tell me that you didn’t mean what you said,” you told him. “Because then you’ll be expecting the same from me, and I can’t offer you the same solace.”

More silence. Aching, noisy silence. You hated it. You wanted nothing to do with it.

Maybe you wanted nothing to do with any of this.

Without looking down, you slid the betrothal ring– your one gift from Lucien– off your finger. It was a beauty, truly, the woven thing of gold and diamond.

You held the item out to him, grasped between two fingers.

You didn’t have the energy to try and decipher his change in expression.

“Do you want this?” You asked, voice tight and shaking. “Not symbolically. Genuinely, Lucien. Do you want this back?”

o-o-o

taglist: @hardcoremarvelfan @xyzmeh @thelov3lybookworm @acourtofbatboydreams

#acotar #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar x you #acotar x reader #lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra x you #lucien vanserra x reader #lucien x you #lucien x reader #lucien vanserra angst #lucien angst #acotar angst #angst #fanfiction #fanfic #whatithink

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gemini-sensei · 9 months

Text

Back on my angst bs

Imagine if Reader was dating Hawk when he was still in Cobra Kai. It was great at first and he always treated her right, but as he became more violent in the dojo, it started to scare her. They argued about it a bit before she finally broke up with him, struggling with his attitude and how it progressed.

She does everything to move on and get over him, but it gets hard after a few weeks when she finds out she's pregnant.

It's hard, but her friends rally around to give her support. They help her through the tough emotions and the early stages of pregnancy. She gets through it.

At school she hides any changes to her body with giant hoodies and sweatshirts. It isn't obvious at first, but as time goes on, her pudgy belly rounds out and she wants to hide it. She doesn't want Hawk or the Cobras to see. She doesn't want anyone but her close friends to know. It's hard enough as is.

But then she's struggling to get something in her locker and everything just falls to the floor. It's frustrating and it upsets her, which quickly turns into her crying over it, thanks to her hormones, as she's trying to pick everything up. She's on her hands and knees just doing her best when Kyler and a few Cobras come around and see her tears.

They start laughing and jeering at her, pointing at her and calling her pathetic. It only makes her cry harder. She's struggling and instead of helping, they're laughing. Not that they or anyone else around knows she's pregnant, as she's done literally everything to hide it.

However, next thing anyone knows, Kyler is getting slammed into a wall of lockers and Hawk is breathing in his face.

"What's so funny, dumbass? Forgot how to spell your own name again?" He throws him down and kicks him in the side, again and again, until he stops trying to get up. "Oh man, look at you on the floor. If only someone would help! You! Up!"

Each word in punctuated by another kick. Then Hawk spits on him and grabs him by the shirt, picking in up off the ground like a piece of trash. He throws him at his friends.

"Get him outta my face!" He grunts. "Fuck off!"

Everyone nearby takes the warning. Everyone but Reader, who is a little stuck.

She's sitting on the floor, unable to lift herself from the floor, never mind everything she dropped. She can only watch, tearstained cheeks hot to the touch.

Hawk turns to her and his whole face softens. "Did they hurt you?"

She shakes her head, a little embarrassed. "I can't get up."

He offers his hand and she puts both of hers out. He grabs them and pulls her up, but she loses her balance and stumbles. He catches her and she falls into him, her belly pressed up against his stomach. She looks away from him as she gets on her feet properly, but all he can do is stare.

"Reader..."

She doesn't say anything as he grabs the bottom of her hoodie. She doesn't try to stop him as he lifts it up and looks at her belly as it sits under a stretched out tee shirt. She closes her eyes as he puts his hands on her round midsection.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispers.

She starts crying again. "You beating the snot our of Kyler is a pretty good example as to why, for starters."

"He deserved it for treating you like that," he says defensively. He pulls her close and shushes her tears gently. Her cries echo down the empty hall anyway. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. If I had known-"

"I found out after we broke up," she chokes out. She hides her face in his hoodie, his familiar scent comforting. "I would have told you, but I didn't know how. Not with cobra kai still hanging around."

"I'll leave cobra kai. I swear."

"No, you won't. You love it."

"Not as much as I love you. Not as much as I miss you." He's ready to start crying as he holds her, just hoping she hears the sincerity in his voice. "You and this baby are more important to me than some dojo."

She's quiet for a moment, then looks up at him. "Babies."

"What?" he asks, dumbstruck.

"Babies," she repeats, then smiles through her tears. "It's twins."

He takes her face into his hands and looks her in the eyes. "I'm never going back to cobra kai, okay? Never. My place is right beside you, you and our babies."

She smiles and cries some more, but he wipes her tears away with his thumbs before kissing her. All this time he's wanted her back, wanted her by his side. He's missed her something terrible, but never knew what to do to win her back. But now that he has he back, he's not going to screw it up. He can't afford to.

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swimmingismywholelife · 9 months

Text

I'm With You

Summary: You're unsure of where your life is heading, but you're glad Christian is here to help you figure things out.

Warnings: Self doubt, uncertainty about the future, slight angst but fluffy overall

A/N: Inspired by "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne. She always talks highly about this song and how it's not sad to her, but meant to be happiness shared with another person. I thought this would be so cute with Christian so here she is.

WC: 1.7K

"Won't you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are

But I, I'm with you."

~~~

Christian had woken up after hearing some noise. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he realized that his arms were empty which wasn't how he went to bed. He could hear a faint tapping noise that made Christian realize at some point during the night, you snuck out of his arms and into your desk area.

"This girl," he sighed to himself as he rolled out of the sheets, hissing when his feet touched the cold floor.

He found you sat in front of your laptop frantically updating your resume and filling out job applications. And unfortunately, this wasn't the first time he found you like that within the past few days.

"Babe you need to go to bed," Christian said as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, kissing the top of your head.

"Just let me finish this okay? I'm almost done I just wanted to check if anything new popped up," you responded, switching through your tabs.

"At 3 in the morning Y/N?" Christian said flatly.

"You never know! I don't wanna wake up only to find a job I really wanted was taken because I didn't see it while I was asleep!"

You and Christian had been together since high school, meeting after he'd accidentally kicked a ball at your head during a free period. Instead of being angry like he thought, you thought it was hilarious, teasing about how his aim needed work and offering to teach him. And just like that you'd been inseparable ever since. His move to Germany only made you love each other more, learning to appreciate each other's physical presence as you didn't often get the chance to see one another.

But while Christian was off playing in Europe, you weren't exactly sure what you wanted to do or what direction you wanted your life to go in. Nothing particular stuck out to you during high school, but you tried new things here and there to see if anything peaked your interest. Even as you attended university, you constantly questioned the major you chose and if it was something you genuinely wanted to do.

When Christian signed with Chelsea, you'd been long distance for a few years. While it wasn't a dealbreaker for your relationship, it could be exhausting. Between the different time zones and the inability to travel to see each other as frequently as you wanted, you'd seriously started to miss each other. You jokingly offered to move to London with him as a solution. But the more you thought about it, the better the idea seemed to be. You'd already finished your program and didn't have anything permanent keeping you in the States preventing you from leaving. So you officially made the move abroad to live with him in London almost like a gap year after you finished school. You thought London would be the inspiration you needed to figure it out.

But all it did was confuse you more. Adjusting to life in Europe was a little difficult for you as change in general was something you struggled to deal with. Even still, you still didn't find your calling in London. You'd tried odd jobs here and there, but nothing truly stuck and it started to worry you. You often found yourself searching at jobs trying to see if anything sounded interesting enough to you. You were even willing to volunteer at different places just for the sake of experience.

Yet despite all the setbacks, having Christian with you made it a lot easier. He was nothing short of supportive, often giving his input whenever you found something you liked. He was more than happy to shoulder most of the finances you shared together, but you never wanted him to feel as though you were taking advantage of him, trying to pay for things when you could. Christian was the one who constantly kept your spirits up even when things felt hopeless. While London wasn't what you thought it would be, you didn't regret your move because you had Christian.

You were a big factor as to why he ended up signing with AC Milan. Despite having Christian with you, you became frustrated with your situation. On top of that, London wasn't what he wanted either. Between his lack of playing time and your lack of figuring out what you wanted to do with your life, the two of you both decided a change of scenery would benefit the two of you. AC Milan was a team you'd supported since you were young, and Christian jumped when the opportunity to play for them presented itself.

So the two of you left your life in London for a new start in Italy. But while Christian was adjusting nicely, you had a bit of a harder time adapting to yet another change in your life. He loved his teammates, he loved the atmosphere of AC Milan, and he loved that he had a club and fans who supported him and wanted to see him succeed.

Your situation didn't really change. You were still unsure of what you wanted and you were set back even further when you realized job searching would be more difficult as you didn't speak Italian. Your stress levels were through the roof.

Christian was gearing up for preseason where he'd be back in the States for a few weeks. Unfortunately you'd be staying in Italy, meaning you'd be by yourself until he returned. The thought of being alone in a new country with no plan made you panic, hence why you were frantically looking for job openings at 3 in the morning.

Christian kissed your cheek sweetly before gently closing your laptop despite your protests.

"Hey! I was in the middle of that!" you exclaimed as you tried to continue your search, reaching to reopen the device.

He ignored you and grabbed underneath your legs, carrying you to bring you back to bed.

"And I was sleeping," he said simply. "And I can't sleep one, because you're not there, two because I can hear you tapping away, and three, because I'm worried about you."

He gently placed you down so you were sitting, your legs dangling off the side of the bed. He joined you, intertwining your fingers together.

"So what's going on baby? Why are you so stressed?" he asked, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of your head.

You sighed, laying your head on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do Chris," you answered.

"About what?"

"Everything," you said quietly. "When I was younger, I always thought that by this point in time I'd have it all figured out. I'd know what type of job I wanted, what kind of house I wanted, where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do. But I don't have anything. I don't have a single plan or concrete thought."

Christian wrapped his arms around you to pull you in closer. You leaned into him even more, taking in the comfort he always provided.

"It seems so silly because you have a plan you know? You're following your dreams and you have such clear goals. You're doing what you've always wanted to do. Meanwhile I feel like I've tried everything under the sun and it's still not enough. I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life," you admitted.

"Y/N, it's not dumb or silly. You don't have to feel ashamed that you don't have your whole life set in front of you," he said, rocking you back and forth.

"That's easy for you to say Chris," you sighed.

"You and I know it's a little more complicated than that babe," he said.

"I'm sorry. I know it's been hard for you too. I guess I'm just feeling a little discouraged about everything," you said, feeling guilty for snapping at him.

"You don't have to apologize for anything Y/N," Christian replied. "I know it's been a hard transition for you. But you know you don't have to have everything figured out right now."

"I feel like I do."

Christian picked your head up so he could look you in the eyes. He cupped your cheek in his hand, thumbs gently tracing the beauty marks on your face.

"You don't baby. Football has always been my dream from a young age. But Chelsea didn't work out the way I wanted. And I was frustrated and upset and discouraged with the situation. I didn't know what to do or how to solve it. All I knew was that I wanted to play. I wanted a club that believed in me and trusted me to play for them. And you know what got me through those difficult times?"

You shook your head.

"It was you. Despite everything going on, you never failed to keep my spirits up. You were the light at the end of the tunnel that helped me see something good was coming my way even if I couldn't see it. I had nothing figured out, but nonetheless I had you and that was more than enough."

You dropped eye contact with him looking at the ground. He brought your face up back up.

"Don't shy away from me Y/N. I'm serious. It's perfectly fine that things are confusing for you right now. You moved away from home to a whole different continent. And once you were getting into a rhythm, you moved again. Things are bound to be uncertain and weird. But you don't have to face the uncertainty alone. I'm right here with you okay? Every step of the way.

"Which means you don't have to search things up at 3 am. Just take it day by day and take as long as you need. Things will work out when they work out. Don't try and force it just because you're unsure of what to do. Let me help you okay?"

"I love you Christian," you said tearing up.

"I love you Y/N. And don't you forget it."

Christian kissed you gently. You melted into his touch, feeling the love emitting from him.

"Now let's go to bed. I can tell you're fighting to keep your eyes open," Christian teased.

"Will you hold me?" you asked softly.

"Baby if it were up to me, you'd never leave my arms. Of course I'll hold you. Besides, I know you like being little spoon no matter what day of the week it is."

You lightly hit his shoulder and rolled your eyes. Nonetheless, the two of you shuffled under the sheets until you were safely tucked away from your stress in Christian's embrace. And while life was uncertain, you knew anything was possible with Christian by your side.

Taglist: @masonsrem @landoslover @pulisicsgirl @chelseagirl98 @lizzypotter14 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @lovelynikol16 @notsoattractivearenti @bracedes @nyctophilic0vitnir

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic imagine #christian pulisic fluff #swimmingismywholelife #christian pulisic fic

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 6 months

Text

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 25

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 10/25/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk. Chapter Warning: Heavy themes in this chapter. That is all I will say so as not to ruin anything. Feel free to reach out for more details before reading.

Chapter Quote: "Just let me come home. Please."

I was only vaguely aware of the flurry of activity around me. As the aftereffects of the adrenaline rush started to set in, I began to feel like the room was spinning around me. Struggling to breathe, I did my best to fight off the fainting feeling that had suddenly overtaken me. Even though I felt like I may have blacked out briefly, I found myself still upright on my knees, hunched over with one shaking hand resting on the floor to balance myself. Two nurses quickly appeared by my side, attempting to coach me through the panic attack I was currently experiencing. The heavy, constricting feeling in my chest was growing increasingly worse. I roughly rubbed at the aching area, trying to shake off the feeling. I thought I knew how to handle these episodes, but this was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Then again, everything related to Dieter had been unlike anything I had experienced before. The good and the bad.

One of the nurses began to ask me questions about my symptoms, specifically about chest pains. They were discussing doing an EKG as I started shaking my head and pushing them away from me. That was the last thing I wanted or needed. I somehow managed to get myself up out of the middle of the floor and moved over to a chair, leaning forward to lower my head between my knees. It helped with the faint feeling, but it did not do anything to dampen the anxiety I was currently feeling over the situation.

After several minutes one of the ER doctors came out to check on me. I couldn’t focus on anything he said as tears continued to pour out of my eyes. I was an emotional mess. I stared at the floor, expressionless, while listening to Lauren and Gabby explain to the doctor what had triggered the episode. Lauren asked if he could give me something to help calm me down. He returned a short time later with a bottle of water and a tablet in a small plastic cup, offering it to me. I glanced at him as I knitted my brows together.

“I don’t need that,” I said quietly. My voice was hoarse, and my mouth dry. I wiped at my face, trying to appear more put together than I felt.

“Yeah, I don’t really agree with that assessment,” he replied with a sympathetic look.

I let out a small huff, looking away from him as I thought about it. “What is it?”

“It’s a two-milligram diazepam tablet. It’s for anxiety and will help you relax so you don’t have another panic attack.” He held out the plastic cup and bottle of water again.

Gabby and Lauren were now at my side, encouraging me to take it. I sighed in defeat as I took the pill and water from the doctor; I did not have the capacity or will to actively argue with them about it. The chalky tablet stuck to my tongue as I opened the bottle. I gulped down the cold refreshment, thankful it washed away the cottonmouth sensation and lingering taste from the medication.

The doctor gave Gabby and Lauren a pointed look as he told them to alert one of the nurses if they needed anything else from him before he turned and disappeared behind the double doors. I could feel Gabby and Lauren’s eyes on me as I sat staring at the floor.

“Seriously, you two, gawking at me isn’t going to help things.” I felt slightly annoyed. I just wanted to be left alone to suffer without them looking at me like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I glanced up at Lauren as she narrowed her eyes on me and let out a heavy sigh. She shook her head out of frustration before standing and motioning toward Gabby to follow her to the other side of the waiting area to sit with Alex.

I turned slightly in the seat, pulling my knees up to my chest and leaned my head against my legs. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply in an attempt to calm my still racing heartbeat. After a short time, I could feel the medication taking effect as relaxation overtook my body and drowsiness set in. I soon slipped into a hazy dream state as dark images that I couldn’t quiet decipher played out behind my eyelids, inducing feelings of worry and loss.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I was awakened by Gabby’s hand gently nudging my shoulder. When I raised my head, she let me know the doctor was there to speak with us. I took a deep breath as I stood slowly, still feeling a little off balance. Gabby must have noticed because she looped her arm with mine, guiding me over to where the doctor stood chatting with Alex and Lauren. As we walked toward them, I noticed Lauren was holding Alex’s hand tightly, while her other hand rested on his bicep. It was now clear to me that they had come here together. I smiled as I watched them, noticing the way they glanced at each other as Alex talked with the doctor. At least there was one piece of good news today. I was genuinely happy for them.

The doctor got straight to business as soon as he noticed us approaching. I could feel Gabby’s grip tighten on my arm as he started to speak. Realizing she was holding on for herself just as much as she was for me.

“We got him stabilized and admitted him to the Critical Care Unit for monitoring and supportive care while we wait for everything to cycle out of his system. We’re giving him fluids and oxygen. We’re going to keep an eye on his glucose, respiration, and cardiac activity and run labs every few hours to check all his levels.”

There was a collective sigh of relief from each of us with that news. I think we had all been expecting the worst. The doctor raised his hand to get our attention again, a grim look forming on his face. He hesitated before speaking but decided to continue with his thoughts.

“I don’t think I really need to say that it’s good you got him in here when you did, but I’m going to anyway. He was definitely on the decline. Mixing alcohol with the medications he’s taking is a huge risk. The alcohol with the antidepressants alone can have a sedative effect on the body and slow organ function down significantly. It can be fatal. He got very lucky.”

We knew what he was suggesting, and we all knew Dieter’s behavior couldn’t continue. We shook our heads in understanding. Gabby spoke up to ask if we could see him. We were told one of the nurses would provide us with his room information and that we could see him as soon as he was awake and alert. The doctor did warn us it could take some time since they were waiting for Dieter to sober up to further assess his condition.

A short time later, we found ourselves crowded into an elevator, making our way up to the CCU waiting area. I had finally calmed down enough to be functional, but my mind did feel a little cloudy from the medication. There was an underlying drowsiness that I had trouble shaking too. Then again, by this point we were creeping into the early morning hours when I would normally be sleeping, so the fatigue wasn’t too surprising. Once we finally found the waiting area, Alex offered to go get everyone snacks and coffee while Gabby stepped aside to call Ty and let him know what was going on.

I was happy to find an area in the back corner of the waiting room with a handful of seats that was cordoned off by a half wall and away from everyone else. The last thing we needed was for prying eyes to recognize one of us and snap a picture. I sank down into one of the oversized upholstered chairs with my legs splayed out in front of me and my arms crossed, attempting to find some relief for my lower back. The lightly padded wooden chairs in the ER were not ideal for long-term sitting and had unfortunately caused some pain and stiffness to set in.

I sat staring at the wall in front of me, trying to think about anything other than Dieter laying in a hospital bed hooked up to several machines. It wasn’t a picture I needed in my head if I was going to keep my shit together. Lauren tentatively walked over to sit next to me. She seemed unsure of how to approach me or what to say. I glanced in her direction, and she gave me a tight-lipped smile before asking how I was doing.

“I’m ok, I think. Better now that I know he’s stabilized.” I furrowed my brows, now focusing on the collection of magazines haphazardly strewn about on the table in front of me. I raised one hand and rubbed at the crease above the bridge of my nose. I could feel a slight throb forming there. I let out a measured breath before dropping my hand and looking back over to Lauren. She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked around the room. Her eyes eventually landed back on my face.

“Is there anything I can get you?”

“You got anything for a headache? I don’t know where my purse is. I’m not even sure if I grabbed it before I left the house. Fuck, I don’t even know where my keys are.” I sighed heavily, realizing that the last several hours were a complete blur. I shook my head out of frustration.

Lauren gave me an empathetic look before she started to dig through her purse, quickly finding what she was looking for and passed it over to me. She also pulled out my half-drunk bottle of water from earlier that I had completely forgotten about. I gave her a small smile and thanked her as I swallowed down whatever pain reliever she had handed me. As I screwed the cap back on the bottle, I looked over at her with a genuine smile.

“So, you and Alex, huh? How long has that been going on?”

Her cheeks tinged pink as a wide grin spread across her face. “Hard to say when it actually started…he came into the shop the morning before we went to that club thing, and we chatted about charcoal drawings.” She chuckled at the memory. “He kind of just kept coming in after that, always asking questions about supplies. Then he came to a couple of the ceramics classes, and I asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch after one of them. It went from there. It’s been a slow process. He’s shy as fuck.”

We both laughed. It amazed me how he was the complete opposite of Dieter. They seemed to be nothing alike. I sat for a moment, thinking how long it had been since the night we went to the club. My eyes widened as the realization hit me.

“Geez, that was like seven months ago. You’ve been keeping it from me for that long?”

Lauren grimaced slightly, “Well, we weren’t sure where it was going and didn’t want to make things weird for everyone in case it didn’t work out. Then the whole thing happened with you and Dieter…I just didn’t want to upset you with news I was dating his brother. I knew it would make it harder for you to separate yourself from him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

I leaned forward in my seat, reaching over to grab her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Seriously, I’m fine with it. I would’ve been fine with it if you had told me sooner. Dieter and I wouldn’t have encouraged it otherwise.”

Lauren stood and squished herself down in my chair beside me, pulling me in for a tight hug, which I returned. Before I pulled away, I asked, “So do I want to know what was happening that night when I Facetimed you and you said you had a stray cat?”

She pulled away, her face turning beet red as she shook her head “no”. I couldn’t help but to snicker at her.

“I guess he isn’t that shy then, huh?” I said with a chuckle. She gave me a mischievous smirk before shrugging, “He has his moments.” We were both fighting back laughter as Gabby and Alex came walking around the corner. They gave us both a questioning look as they divided out the coffee and snacks but didn’t ask for details on what was so funny.

The mood seemed lighter after that. Knowing that Dieter was doing ok seemed to take a lot of the stress off us as we waited for him to wake up. Gabby spent time updating us on how the kids were doing and let it slip that she had known about Lauren and Alex’s exploits for a while. Apparently, they had been routinely joining her for dinner and were doing a shit job of hiding things. We all had a good laugh about it now that the truth was out in the open. Alex seemed more relaxed and chattier than I had known him to be in the past. It was sort of heartwarming to see and made me realize how much I had missed all of them. I suddenly felt a wave of regret for pushing them away since the infamous phone call that changed everything.

My attention was suddenly drawn to a light brown head of hair wandering around just on the other side of the short wall that separated us from the larger waiting area. I instantly tensed when I realized who it was. Gabby noticed my change in demeanor and followed my line of sight as I watched Anna walk around to where we were sitting.

I heard Alex and Lauren mutter a low “fuck” under their breaths in unison. Gabby stood up, defiantly blocking Anna from walking any closer.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Gabby asked her, rather curtly.

“Ty called me and said Dieter was in the hospital. He’s my friend and I’m coming to see if he needs anything.”

I couldn’t help the admonishing laugh that slipped from my lips. She sounded so ridiculous and clearly had no idea what was going on. My sudden outburst caused Anna’s wide eyes to focus on me over Gabby’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I said anything that was funny.” Anna’s eyes shifted back to Gabby, “What the hell is she doing here? He doesn’t wanna see her anymore.”

I wasn’t really sure what came over me as I shot up out of my seat without even realizing what I was doing. The complacent look Anna shot my way gave me the urge to smack it off her face. I had a similar urge the last couple of times that I was graced with her presence but managed to control it. The feeling was stronger this time, knowing that she had no doubt been Dieter’s biggest enabler when it came to the use of any kind of substance. Lauren must have recognized my fury because she jumped up behind me, grabbing at my arm.

“You wanna know why I’m here, Anna? Because he fucking called me right before he passed out.” I could feel anger radiating throughout my body. I knew she could see it on my face, but she wasn’t backing down this time.

“You say that like it’s a big deal. It’s not the first time he’s passed out from drinking too much. I’m sure he’s fine and you’re overreacting.”

I scoffed as I took another step forward. I could feel Gabby stick her arm out to block me from walking around her. Lauren linked her arm with mine and held on tightly. Alex stood off to the side with his right hand on his hip, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand, unsure of what to do.

“Overreacting? Are you that fucking stupid? He was unresponsive and almost stopped breathing. If I hadn't gone over there when I did, he wouldn’t be alive right now.”

Anna’s hand flew up to her chest. She had the audacity to look upset by my comment, like she finally understood how bad the situation was.

“Is he…is he ok?” She asked in a concerned voice.

I shook my head as I let out a small laugh, “You know, if you were such a good friend that really cared about him, you wouldn’t have enabled his behavior. You would’ve cut him off before he hurt himself. You were the only one out of all of us that he was speaking to and knew what he was doing… and you did nothing. Hell, you were probably encouraging him as you handed him more shots and who knows what else.”

One of the nurses came over and asked us if there was a problem. We assured her there was not. She looked between Anna and I, not convinced by our assurances.

“If you’re not family, I'm afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re disturbing everyone else in the waiting room.”

I exhaled loudly before shaking my head in agreement. I moved to leave, but Gabby grabbed my wrist tightly, stopping me in place. She turned to Anna and gave her a sweet smile, “Anna, I’ll let you know when you’re allowed to come see him. IF he wants to see you after he wakes up.”

Anna moved to leave, but paused, looking between Lauren and me.

“What about them? Why do they get to stay?”

“Because it’s my call. They’re more family to him than you’ll ever be.” Gabby’s words were laced with venom. I couldn’t see her face, but I was sure she had the expression to match her tone.

The corners of Anna’s mouth turned up into what I am sure was meant to be a menacing smile, but it didn’t quite hit the mark. “I’m sure that’ll no longer be the case once he’s awake.”

She gave Gabby and I both a pointed look before she turned on her heel and walked toward the exit. Once Anna was out of sight, Gabby let out the breath she had been holding and turned to look at me. She had a look of frustration on her face.

“She is such a fucking miserable person.”

I gave her a half smile, “You don’t have to tell me that twice.”

We both turned to face Lauren and Alex. Alex was still standing with his hands on his hips, his brows were drawn down together and he had a smirk on his face.

“Something wrong, Alex?” Gabby asked him.

“You two are fucking terrifying together. You know that? I wasn’t about to get in the middle of that mess… unless I absolutely had to.”

Gabby, Lauren, and I chuckled at him. Surprisingly, there was something in his stance and his reaction that reminded me so much of his brother in that moment. Maybe they were more alike than I had realized.

We all sat in silence, continuing our wait. After an hour, Lauren announced that she needed more caffeine, so she and Alex went in search of more coffee for all of us. After they left, I could feel Gabby’s eyes on me. I looked in her direction, meeting her gaze. I could tell she wanted to ask me something. I raised an eyebrow at her, “What is it?”

She scrunched her face up in thought, exhaling loudly as she leaned forward. “You don’t have to tell me, but how did you know Dieter had alcohol poisoning?”

I rubbed my hands over my face for a moment, trying to decide how to answer her question. I sat up straight and squared my shoulders, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly before responding. I could feel my face tense before I met her eyes and started to speak.

“I think you know I was in a shitty marriage before?” She nodded. “Well, let’s just say it got to a point where I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I was feeling pretty fucking hopeless and had a close call myself.”

I watched her shoulders drop and her brow furrow as she processed my words.

“I don’t think I was as bad off as Dieter, but it was enough to scare the shit out of me. I’ve had a complicated relationship with alcohol ever since. I don’t manage my emotions very well, so I have to watch myself.”

Gabby moved to sit next to me, then pulled me into a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry I tried to dump things on you when Dieter stopped talking to us. I shouldn’t have done that, and I should’ve been there to support you more than I was,” she said as she pulled away.

I shook my head at her, “Gabby, no. It’s fine. He’s your brother. I totally get where you were coming from, and I pushed you all away. Some of that’s on me. I should’ve handled this whole situation differently than I did.”

Our conversation was interrupted by Alex and Lauren returning with the next round of coffee. It was nearing 4 AM, so I was thankful for it. Once it had cooled off, I gulped it down quickly. I was beginning to feel restless sitting for so long. I got up and started walking around the waiting room to keep myself busy, looking at the cheap stock art that hung on the walls. Every minute seemed like ten as the night stretched on. The wait was maddening. We did get a couple of updates during that time that Dieter was still doing ok, and all of his tests were coming back normal, but he hadn’t woken up yet. We at least had that bit of information to keep our positivity up while we waited.

It was close to 8 AM when I sat scrolling through my phone, but not really reading anything. Lauren had fallen asleep on Alex’s shoulder. He was dozing off with his head laying on top of hers. Gabby was in one of the oversized chairs with her head leaned against the back and her knees pulled up to her chest, asleep. I gave up trying to focus on my phone. I slid it into my back pocket as I stood to walk around for a minute. As I rounded the edge of the dividing wall, I saw the CCU physician, Dr. Wilson, walking toward us. I turned to get everyone’s attention to let them know he was coming.

We all crowded around the doctor as he walked into the small waiting area that we had claimed. I noticed the look on his face was concerning compared to how he looked when he had spoken to us earlier. I suddenly felt knots in my stomach and braced for the worst.

“Alright, first, let me say he’s awake and he’s fine… physically. Which is surprising given that his BAC was off the charts. He’s seriously lucky that you got him here when you did.”

Gabby and I exchanged a nervous glance, not really understanding where this was going.

“We didn’t find any drugs in his system, other than what he had been prescribed and those were all at normal levels.”

I suddenly felt guilty with that news. He had said he wasn’t on anything and none of us believed him. I started rubbing at my chest and shoulder. The anxious feeling was returning. I didn’t like where this conversation was going. I started inhaling deep breaths to try and keep myself calm.

Dr. Wilson paused, thinking through his next words carefully. “When he woke up, he was obviously confused. He got combative and he’s a little overly emotional. I’m not a mental health professional, but I think he may be having some type of manic episode. One of our consulting psychiatrists is evaluating him right now.”

To say that we were stunned was an understatement. We were quiet for a moment, silent glances of worry passing between each of us. Gabby looked overwhelmed as she ran her hand through the top of her hair, bunching it at the crown of her head.

“So, what does that mean?” She finally asked.

“Well, it’s possible it could be the medications he’s currently taking. If he has some sort of undiagnosed disorder, it could be causing a bad reaction. That’s the theory I’m going with. Is he currently seeing a psychiatrist?”

Gabby gave Dr. Wilson a blank stare, then looked at me with panicked eyes as she shook her head. “I don’t know anything about what he’s doing.”

I reached out and grabbed Gabby’s hand in an attempt to comfort her before I spoke up.

“As far as I know… but this was months ago… he was seeing a therapist who was working with his primary care doctor for medication.”

“But he has prescriptions from two different doctors? Do you know if he was drug seeking?”

I drew my brows down together at the question and shook my head from side to side.

“No, I don’t… I don’t think he would do that. I know when he was in Canada filming… he was referred to someone because he was there for five or six months. I assume that’s why there are two. I know they gave him something new while he was there. An antidepressant… I think.”

Dr. Wilson shook his head in understanding, “Alright, I’m going to recommend that he see a psychiatrist who also does therapy. I think he needs someone who is a little more experienced with certain types of disorders and medication. I can provide some suggestions. These Hollywood types around here tend to hand out drugs like they’re candy without figuring out what’s actually going on.”

Dr. Wilson paused, then waved someone over to us. An older woman with graying hair joined us. Dr. Wilson introduced her as Dr. Stevenson and indicated she was the consulting psychiatrist who had been evaluating Dieter. I could feel Gabby’s grip tighten on my hand as she stared at the psychiatrist, unblinking. Alex stepped forward and put a hand on Gabby’s shoulder in comfort. Dr. Stevenson gave us a reassuring smile as she motioned for us to have a seat. She sat down on the table in front of us before she spoke.

“I just had an interesting talk with Dieter. He’s…definitely exhibiting signs of a mixed manic episode. Do any of you know if he has been diagnosed with anything?”

Gabby and Alex looked at me, clearly, they knew nothing about what was going on with their brother. I inhaled sharply before speaking.

“The only thing I’ve ever heard him talk about is anxiety and depression.”

Dr. Stevenson nodded. “Can you tell me how long he’s been acting like this?”

Gabby spoke up, “We really don’t know. He was away filming for a while then wouldn’t really speak to any of us after he got back.” She glanced at me as she spoke, a questioning look on her face.

I shut my eyes tightly, rubbing the wrinkled spot that had formed between my eyebrows as I tried to think back. “He’s always been kind of moody… but umm, they made some medication changes right before he left for Canada, then again a few weeks after he got there.”

I exhaled slowly and dropped my hand before meeting Dr. Stevenson’s eyes. “I know when I was there visiting, he was skipping meals, which is unusual for him. His mood was one extreme to the other, but I just figured that was because he was upset about me leaving. He seemed like he had a short fuse… like he was quick to get mad or frustrated. I know he’s been having trouble sleeping for a long time. I think it was like three weeks after I left, he called me and broke things off and wasn’t really making sense. That was like six months ago. I’ve not really talked to him since then.”

Dr. Stevenson listened intently as I talked. She reached out and gave my hand a pat, before she spoke again. “It’s my opinion that he would benefit from inpatient treatment. He needs to be supervised while they get him off all of these medications so they can get a base level reading and evaluate him properly. It’s possible he could have some withdrawal symptoms that would need to be managed during that process. I really feel that he’s been misdiagnosed, and his current medication regimen is making things worse for him.”

Gabby reached for my right hand again and squeezed it. I could see her eyes glazing over from the information overload. I covered her hand with my left one to try and offer comfort. My leg started to bounce from the building anxiety I was feeling.

“Umm, how long is inpatient treatment?” Gabby finally asked.

“That depends entirely on him. It would be helpful if it’s something he’s willing to do. If he’s cooperative, it’ll go faster and be more beneficial for him. It can take several weeks or longer to get medication figured out though.”

Gabby sagged back into her seat with that information, “How am I gonna get him to willingly go along with that?” She let out an exasperated sigh as she looked in my direction.

“Could one of you talk with him… help him calm down…convince him to do it? I can force the issue and require that he go, but I would much rather that he chooses it.” Dr. Stevenson added.

Gabby balked at her statement, “So you want me to convince my brother to choose to do something that he really doesn’t have a choice in?”

Dr. Stevenson nodded, “It will make it easier on him if he is a willing participant.”

Gabby sighed heavily, “Alright, let us talk through this. We’ll see what we can do.”

The two doctors left us to discuss things. Gabby looked like she was now on the verge of having a panic attack herself as her breathing sped up.

“I don’t know how to handle this. What the fuck do I say to him?” She asked as she looked between Alex and me with wide eyes.

I took a deep calming breath, closing my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, everyone was looking at me. I knitted my brows together as I met Gabby’s stare, “I’ll do it.”

She vehemently shook her head, “No. I can’t put this on you.”

I reached out and grabbed her hand to reassure her, “Gabby, I’m fine. I can do it. We have a way of calming each other. I think he would respond better to me right now.”

Alex shook his head in agreement, “She’s not wrong, Gab. They do have that weird thing they do where they mellow each other out.”

I raised an eyebrow in Alex’s direction, surprised at his comment. One side of his lips slid upwards as he reached over and squeezed my shoulder in solidarity.

Gabby gave me a concerned look, “Talia, are you sure? I don’t want to put you through that.”

“Seriously, I’m good. Besides, I think I kind of owe it to him at this point.”

I watched Gabby’s nose crinkle and her nostrils flare as she fought back tears. She pulled me into another tight hug. “Thank you for doing this for him. I know it’s not easy for you.”

I gave her a small smile as I pulled away. Dr. Wilson came over to check in with us and we let him know that I was going to talk to Dieter. I did ask Gabby to come with me and wait outside the door in case I needed her.

As we walked back toward Dieter’s room, Dr. Wilson spoke up, “We did give him a sedative because he was amped up and giving the staff a hard time. He’s a little calmer now and it’s possible he may fall back to sleep.”

Gabby looped her arm with mine and entwined our fingers, squeezing tightly. I could tell she was nervous by her sweaty palms and fidgeting. As we approached Dieter’s room, we could see him through the window in the door. I audibly gasped, putting my free hand over my mouth. I could feel Gabby stiffen beside me as she took him in. He looked completely broken. He was sitting upright in his bed, rocking slightly while rubbing the thumb on his right hand between his thumb and the pointer finger of his left hand. He was staring downward, unblinking. Even from this distance I could see the deep crease between his brows and I could tell his eyes were red and swollen. His dark hair was standing up in all directions creating a stark contrast with his pale scruffy face.

His appearance shocked me. I could feel another anxiety attack creeping up as a result. I released Gabby’s hand and pulled away. “I need a minute,” I said weakly. I laced my fingers together behind my neck as I backed against the wall, leaning down toward my knees with my eyes shut willing the dizzying feeling to go away. I took several deep breaths to center myself. Gabby asked if I was ok as she stood awkwardly beside me. I could tell she wasn’t sure what to do based on the tone of her voice. A few seconds passed before I popped back up, somehow managing to get my emotions in check. I had to if I was going to get through this. I gave Gabby a small nod before I turned and pushed the door open to enter his room.

I took a few steps inside, allowing the door to close behind me. I wasn’t really sure what to expect from him since our last two encounters had been less than friendly. I paused just inside of the entryway, trying to gauge his reaction before I went in any further. It took him a moment to tear his attention away from whatever he was focused on. Once his gaze met mine, he stopped all movement as his eyes widened.

“Why…what are you doing here?” he asked in a flat tone.

“You called me. So, I came over. Do you remember that?” I spoke in a quiet voice, choosing my words carefully. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing to him. I felt like I was talking to a scared puppy from the way he was looking at me; his big brown eyes wider than usual, filled with apprehension and disorientation.

He furrowed his brow in confusion, his eyes seemed to unfocus as he searched his memory. He slowly shook his head as his gaze met mine again.

“Can I come sit with you?” I asked hesitantly.

He started rubbing at his chest with one hand and ran the other through his hair as he shook his head from side to side, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m a fucking disaster. I don’t want you seeing me like this.”

“You look a hell of a lot better than you did last night.”

His head snapped back up in my direction as he met my gaze, “You saw me last night?”

I took a steadying breath as I walked further into the room and sat down in the chair next to the bed. I reached out to grab his right hand away from his chest and pulled it to rest on the edge of the mattress, holding it tightly.

I could feel the crease form between my brows as I decided how to answer him. I didn’t want to push him over the edge, but I didn’t want to keep anything from him either.

“Dieter, I’m the one that found you. You called me and I could tell something was wrong, so I came over to check on you. You were unconscious.”

His face tensed; his eyes quickly pooled with tears as they darted around the room while he processed my words. A quiet sob suddenly escaped his lips as he pulled his hand away from me to cover his face. A rush of words spilled out of him through the sobs, “I’m such a fuck up. I never wanted to do that to you. I’m just like my fucking mom. I knew this was going to happen. I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I could hear the beeping of the heart monitor speed up. His anxiety was clearly ramping up again. I leaned across the bed, grabbing both of his hands and pulled them away from his face.

“Hey… stop that, look at me.” He turned his head away as the tears ran down his cheeks.

“Look at me,” I said again, more forcefully. He hesitated but finally met my gaze. I leaned in slightly, compelling him to look directly into my eyes as I spoke.

“If you hadn't called me, you wouldn’t be here right now. I would much rather see you like this than have the alternative. I’m glad you reached out. As long as you ask for help when you need it, you’ll never be like her. You understand me?”

He shook his head, the vacant expression returning. He started to slowly rock again, mumbling about how he was sorry for ruining everything, he’s a fuck up, and this is all his fault. He kept muttering it repeatedly on a loop. It was painful to watch him sit and quietly berate himself. I could feel the lump forming in my throat and it was taking everything I had in me to stay calm.

I squeezed his hands a little harder to try and bring his attention back to me.

“Dieter, I need to talk to you about something, ok?” It took a few seconds, but he finally focused back on me, full of confusion.

“Ummm, the doctor thinks that maybe your medication is making you feel this way…making things worse.”

“No. No…no. It’s supposed to fix it. It’s just not working. It’s not working.”

I shook my head, “No… this can be a side effect. They think you were misdiagnosed. This can happen if it’s not the correct medication for you.”

He scoffed, “Ok, so give me something else then.” There was a slight edge to his voice.

“It’s not that simple. They have to take you off everything slowly and you need to be monitored while you come off of it.”

His eyebrows shot up as his dark eyes widened, “Wha…What does that mean?”

“They’re recommending that you do inpatient treatment so that they can get your medication figured out and a proper diagnosis.”

He let out several stuttered breaths before he responded, “So like a mental health facility? Is it that fucking bad?” His eyes widened.

My eyes started to sting, I briefly closed them and exhaled slowly before opening them again. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back my tears. I nodded, “You’re gonna need a little extra help to get through this.”

He started shaking his head, “I can’t. I have to work… and I…I just can’t.”

“You can’t work like this... You can’t live like this. Take some time and get the help you need. We’re all here to help you through it.”

I could see the panic setting in on his features. A deep crease had formed between his brows as his whole body started to tremble. His eyes were round and his chin quivering. “For how long? How long do I have to be there?”

I knew this was the part he was going to have the hardest time with, and I didn’t want to say it, but I couldn’t lie to him.

“They said it can take several weeks to figure out your medication, so I don’t know exactly how long it’ll be.”

His heart rate spiked as he started crying again. “Please just let me come home with you. I’ll do whatever the fuck I have to, just let me come home. Please. Please…”

I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. They started running down my cheeks while I worked to steady my emotions. I stood and crawled up on the bed beside him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He buried his face into my neck as he sobbed and continued to beg me to come home.

I ran my fingers through his hair to try and comfort him and talked softly in response, “Listen, you can’t do this at home, ok. I’m not gonna lie to you. It’s gonna be hard. They said you might have withdrawal symptoms and they need to be able to manage those and monitor you around the clock.”

I paused for a minute to steady myself, taking a few more deep breaths.

“I promise you, once you're better, you can come home to me if that’s what you still want.”

I could feel him nod slightly against my neck. He let out a slow breath, “I’m so fucking scared. I don’t know if I can do this.” It was almost a whisper, and I could hear the fear in his voice.

“If you wanna get better, you have to. You can’t keep living like this.”

He pulled away from me, nodding his head in agreement. “I’ll do it. You’re right, I…I can’t do this anymore. I just wanna be happy and normal. I want to come home.”

He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes suddenly seemed clearer as they looked over my face. He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed, “I missed you so fucking much. I should’ve told you what was going on instead of pushing you away. I just…”

He started crying harder again, I pulled him back against me, hugging him tightly. He knotted his hands in the front of my shirt, trying to get as close to me as possible. I shushed him as I rubbed my cheek against his forehead before placing a gentle kiss there. “Don’t worry about that right now. You’re forgiven. Just focus on yourself. I’m fine and I’m here for you however you need me.”

We sat in silence for several minutes as I continued to hold him and run my fingers through his messy curls. Once it seemed like he had calmed down, I asked if he wanted to see Gabby. I could see her standing in the hallway, across from his door, watching the exchange between us. She looked like she was having a hard time keeping it together too.

“I do wanna see her, but I don’t want you to leave me.” he said with a trembling voice. I raised my hand and motioned for her to come in. She walked in hesitantly and came to sit on the opposite side of his bed. He didn’t pull away from me, but he did reach over with his left hand to grab hers. She let out a sigh of relief as the tears finally escaped her eyes. She gave me a questioning look; I gave her a small nod. This was a good first step.

Gabby spoke up and asked him if he wanted to see Alex too. He shook his head as he pulled away from me, “Not right now. I’m not sure how much longer I can stay awake. I feel like shit.”

I reached up and continued to run my fingers through the hair at the nap of his neck as he wiped at his tear-streaked face, his head leaning back into my touch. He seemed a lot calmer than he had been and maybe even a little more focused. He looked at Gabby with a slight smirk, “Can you make sure they don’t send me to some shit hole with doctors that don’t know what they’re doing please? I’ve had enough of that.” Gabby and I both let out a small laugh.

“No worries, hermano. We’ll make sure you’re taken care of.” She smiled at him as she rubbed the back of his hand.

Gabby’s phone vibrated in her back pocket. She stood to pull it out and look at it. After unlocking her phone, she rolled her eyes. She looked at her brother, irritation lacing her tone as she spoke. “It’s Anna. Again. She is insisting on seeing you.”

Dieter shook his head, “I don’t wanna see her. Like…at all. I’m done with her.”

Gabby and I exchanged a questioning look, wondering what had brought that on. I would have to remember to ask him about that later.

Dieter glanced up at me, he suddenly looked very sleepy, “How about we let you get some rest. You can hardly hold your eyes open.”

He let out a loud huff, “I don’t want you to leave. Will you stay until I fall asleep? Please?”

Gabby smiled at us, taking that as her cue to leave. She quietly made her exit as I got up to sit back down in the chair beside the bed. Dieter lowered the back of the bed down and got comfortable. Once he was situated on his side, facing me, he reached over and held out his hand. I took it in both of mine, rubbing over the top of it as we sat in silence. It didn’t take long before he was asleep.

I watched him for a few minutes, taking in his features. The worry was gone from his face and his color was already starting to look better. I could feel guilt settling in the pit of my stomach. I should have gone to him sooner and made him talk to me. Gabby was right, if I had forced it, he would have opened up to me. I could have kept it from getting this bad, cut it off before he spiraled out of control. I gave up on us too easily and I could only hope he didn’t hold that against me.

I knew he and I still had a lot to talk about, but it could wait until he was in a better place mentally and emotionally. In the meantime, I needed to work on sorting out my feelings as well. I now realized how much I had kept hidden away and avoided processing. Some of it had nothing to do with Dieter and everything to do with my own personal demons. A lot of it didn’t matter anymore given what was actually going with him. I could tell we still had a long road ahead, but I was willing to go on this journey with him as long as he still wanted me to.

A/N: I am peeking out from under my rock to check in and see how you all are feeling after that chapter? Was it angsty enough for you? Any predictions for what is to come with D and Talia? Topics for discussion...How are we feeling about Lauren and Alex? Or just Alex for that matter? We haven't seen much of him so far, but I do have a little bonding moment planned for Alex and Talia in the next chapter that is kind of sweet. How about that private chat between Gabby and Talia? Do you think the group made the right call letting Talia talk to D? Or should Gabby have done it? Do you have any predictions for what is going on with D? I mean, how pitiful was he? Does this make up for all of his dummy asshole behavior? And last but not least, we can't forget about Anna and her drama...how bad did that piss you off? As promised, I also prepared another Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post. Be sure you jump over there and check it out. The topic is Psychiatric Medication and goes along with this chapter. We will obviously get into things a little deeper once we have his diagnosis. As usual, I have included the mood board for this chapter below. I have been lazy and haven't put together any of the chapter playlists... but just a reminder, you can find the full playlist here. A good portion of the Lifehouse songs on the list I attribute to Dieter, especially during the last half of this fic. So, feel free to jump over there and give those a listen while you read. Last but not least, a huge thank you to my beta, @for-a-longlongtime. She deserves an award for putting up with me and always makes everything so much better! 💜

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