#I have mixed emotions because I’m so glad they do want to be friends again like we used to be but me having to confront my feelings
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Hey friends. I always promised that I would write a disclaimer if I ever wrote something sad. So here is that disclaimer: this is sad. Harry is also experiencing some internalized “ace-phobia”, if you will. Just really struggling to believe that being ace is ever enough in a relationship with someone who is not. Yes, the author is hardcore projecting on the poor character.
“I’m sorry,” Draco said, and it sounded sincere, even Harry could hear the ring of truth to it over the splintering sound of his heart. “I just,” Draco swallowed, looked down at the glass in his hands, “I think living alone would be what’s better for me right now.”
Harry nodded, shoving down the emotions, pushing back the hurt, the yearning, as he forced a smile, “no. For sure,” he said, keeping his voice light, pushing every ounce of happy-for-you-undertone that he could. “Yeah. You have to do what’s best for you,” he agreed, and he meant it, even though it hurt the way that it hurt when you sliced open your foot on a piece of glass; sudden and sharp, terribly painful in its unexpectedness.
“It’s not you,” Draco said, reaching across the table and squeezing Harry’s hand, giving him a smile and Harry wondered what the other man could see on his face. “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you,” he said.
He nodded, “right. I get it.”
“And you can come over all the time, we can have a movie night whenever we want since I won’t have Pansy and Blaise to worry about.”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. Smiling, smiling, smiling. Please Godric, let it be enough that Draco can’t see past it. “Yeah. That sounds great,” he agreed.
“Dinner once a week,” he promised, “and we can cook together!”
He nodded, plastering the smile even harder to his face, “I’d love that,” he said. Not as much as he would have loved doing the shopping together, and cooking together in their shared space but… best not to think about it.
“I love you too much to live with you,” Draco said, like that made any sense at all.
“Yeah,” he said, pushing down the tears threatening to spill, heart throbbing in his throat. “I love you too,” he said. Not too much, he thought, more than his body could hold sometimes but not so much that he couldn’t live with the other man.
“I’m sorry,” Draco said again.
And Harry wanted to make up a lie, wanted to tell Draco he had another appointment or something, but Draco was his best friend. More than that, Harry had thought. They’d started planning a life together; he’d told Draco everything, given him his entire heart. Draco had said that he wanted Harry forever too. Harry’s worked so hard to actually believe him. But that was probably just the mixed signals that Harry sent, confusing everyone that he loved because he couldn’t love them in the way that they wanted. “Don’t be. I still have Ron and Hermione.”
“You could try living alone too,” Draco offered, and Harry knew it was because of the conversations they’d had, about how hard it could be living with people who were in love. About how alone Harry felt even when he was in the same room as them sometimes.
He knew Draco was trying to offer a good solution, “nah,” he said, aiming for casual and hoping that he hadn’t missed the mark by as much as it felt like he had. “I don’t do well on my own. It’s okay. I’m okay,” he assured.
“Okay,” Draco said, giving him a little smile. “I toured an apartment today.”
“Oh,” he said, “tell me about it!” And he let himself get lost in Draco’s joy, lost in how excited he was for his own adventure.
“And it just feels right, you know?” Draco asked when he finished describing his viewing.
“I’m really glad,” he said, genuinely because he loved Draco. Loved him with his entire heart and wanted what was good for him. But he couldn’t say he understood. He couldn’t. Because all Harry wanted was to be able to come home to Draco at the end of the day. All Harry wanted was someone to sit on the sofa with and eat dinner with. He wanted to be able to take care of Draco, to love him on his hard days and to listen to his stories. Harry wanted a place to come home to where he could just shut off the facade, could just be Harry.
But they didn’t want the same things. That was clearer now than it had ever been. Someday, Draco was going to get married. Someday, he’d fall in love with someone else, someone who could love him the same way, someone whose body wasn’t broken, someone who’d want to have sex with him. Someday, he’d meet someone who could be enough, who would have the capacity to accept the love that Draco felt like was too much for Harry.
And Harry wouldn’t deny him that. He wouldn’t stand in the way. It didn’t matter that Harry loved Draco with everything that he had, with all that he was, in every way that he was capable of loving another human. It wasn’t enough.
It hadn’t ever been before Draco. It had been foolish to believe that could have changed.
How could he have hoped that it might be now? How could he have let himself dream that he might ever be enough for the best person he knew?
He loved Draco more than anything, so he did the only thing that he knew how to do.
He loved him with every beat of his bruised and bloodied heart. Harry set aside his own needs, his own wants, his own desires and loved Draco in the way that he needed and not in the way that Harry wanted. Harry set aside his hopes, and dreams, the plans they’d made together and begged his heart to be happy for the other man.
Be good, he begged himself. Be kind.
Love was sacrifice. How could he have let himself forget?
#drarry#sad#ace harry potter#like seriously. this is v sad. the author is v sad. please don’t read this if you’re looking for a pick me up#just processing the hurt#trying to learn how to love more than I desire to be loved#yes. we are actively dumping our trauma on this poor baby#sad sad sad
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Kiss Me If You Can || Part 3
Character: Bucky Barnes x Thief!Reader
Words Count: 1,830
Part 1,- Part 2, Part 3,-
Main Masterlist || buy me Ko-fi 🥹💓
Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more.
Feeling awkward after Bucky's last words, Y/N returned the diamond necklace to the snobbish millionaire Richard a few days later.
Furious and humiliated, Richard, desperate to catch the phantom thief, opted to use the media instead of calling the police, tarnishing his name.
Enraged that now everyone knew of the phantom thief, Bucky sought out Steve, whom he hadn't seen in a long time. Since Steve became a judge and Bucky got promoted, it’s difficult for them to meet.
Bucky cut to the chase at the coffee shop and told Steve, “Your sister is the phantom thief.”
Steve glanced at his friend but remained unresponsive.
Arms crossed, Bucky pressed, “So, you already knew?”
Steve sighed. “It's not something I should be proud of. Did you expect me to call you and announce that my sister became a thief?”
Bucky rested his arm on the table and leaned closer. “What's her reason?”
Steve didn't look directly at Bucky. He poured sugar into his coffee, “You know our grandmother was completely biased toward Y/N because of her acrobatic skills, right?”
Bucky nodded, familiar with Steve's family dynamics. “Your grandmother is a famous circus producer.”
Remembering their grandparents, adventurous on one side and a librarian on the other, Bucky couldn't help but draw parallels to his own relationship with Y/N.
Sipping his coffee, Steve explained, “When my grandmother died, she left a letter and a key for Y/N. After that, she joined my grandmother's circus and traveled worldwide.”
“Let me guess, that led her to become the phantom thief.”
Steve nodded, “Hmm.”
Bucky went silent for a while. He tapped the table with his fingers, “I don’t think you completely ignored Y/N, Steve. The reason you became a judge is to help her if she got into trouble.”
Steve didn't rebuke.
“You’re a good brother, Steve. But still, what she did is wrong. I need to get her before anyone else.”
Concerned for his sister's safety, Steve pleaded, “I don’t know where she is. If you catch her, and I hope you do, please don’t let her escape.”
Bucky nodded.
Steve asked concern etched on his face, "After learning the truth, do you still like my sister?" His eyes held a mixture of worry and hope, reflecting his complex emotions for his best friend and sister.
Without any hesitation, Bucky answered, “I don't want anyone else.”
Steve sipped his coffee, a hidden smile behind the cup. He was glad his best friend cared for Y/N even after learning the truth.
“She will come to the challenge. I’m sure both of you will meet again.”
The day arrived. Richard made the challenge at his house, surrounded by police and media. Arriving with his secretary, Richard proudly showed off the jewelry and set a trap to catch the phantom thief.
Bucky infuriated with Richard, “You're risking everyone's safety for your own amusement! You fool!”
Richard scoffed, leaving Bucky with some choice words before departing rudely.
The female secretary, standing beside Bucky, stayed silent. “Smile for the camera, Bucky.”
Bucky scowled, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Y/N in her phantom thief disguise. "You have the nerve to show up, Y/N."
Y/N smirked, "Someone has to put the snobby man in his place."
Bucky crossed his arms, maintaining a cold demeanor. "Breaking into houses and stealing jewels isn't the way to do it."
"Ah, but it's so much more thrilling, don't you think? Keeps the wealthy on their toes." Y/N pulled and took off her button-shirt that almost showed her bra string.
Bucky shook his head, a mix of exasperation and amusement. "You're impossible, you know that?"
Bucky turns his head away “What are you doing?”
“His own secretary gives this disguise. While I’m here, she’s taking a break.”
Y/N's gaze held a glint of mischief. "That's why you can't resist chasing after me, isn't it, Bucky?"
"Well, I prefer a bit more mystery," she replied, her tone teasing.
Bucky leaned in, a sly grin playing on his lips. "If you're after something valuable, you don't need to break into places. I'm right here and come with my own set of perks."
Y/N, caught off guard by Bucky's bold remark, felt a heat rising to her cheeks. She stammered for a moment, momentarily speechless. Regaining her composure, she shot him a sly smile.
"But I'll keep that tempting offer in mind. Enjoy the show, Bucky." With that, she gracefully slipped away, leaving Bucky with a mixture of surprise and anticipation lingering in the air.
As the orchestration of the heist unfolded, Y/N seamlessly moved through the shadows, her every move a calculated dance—the target: Richard's prized family heirloom, a breathtaking diamond necklace.
The opulence of the mansion provided a stark contrast to the clandestine mission she embarked upon.
Silently disarming security systems and slipping through laser grids, Y/N reached the grand display room. The diamond necklace glittered within its ornate glass case, a captivating prize that promised wealth and a challenge that fueled her adrenaline.
With nimble fingers, she skillfully bypassed the intricate lock mechanism, and the coveted necklace was now in her possession. The thrill of the heist coursed through her, a heady mixture of triumph and exhilaration.
However, the mansion had secrets, and Y/N's escape triggered secondary security measures. Alarms blared, casting an ominous red hue across the room.
Unbeknownst to her, a concealed security detail sprang into action. The night echoed with the sharp report of a gunshot.
The bullet grazed her leg, leaving a searing pain in its wake. Despite the injury, Y/N pressed on. The wound, a mere scrape from the bullet, throbbed with each movement.
As Y/N navigated the escape route, the pain from the leg injury slowed her down, bringing her dangerously close to capture. The distant sound of approaching footsteps heightened the tension.
Just when it seemed like the end, Bucky appeared from the shadows, a silent savior in the night.
His strong arm wrapped around Y/N, and he guided her through the labyrinthine alleys. Their hurried footsteps echoed the urgency of the moment.
Y/N, wincing from the pain, glanced at Bucky, her eyes revealing a mix of gratitude and surprise.
Maintaining his stoic demeanor, Bucky muttered, "You really know how to get yourself into trouble, don't you?"
Y/N smiled teasingly, "Well, where would the fun be if I didn't?"
Bucky rolled his eyes. It’s not the time to make a joke.
In the dimly lit room, Bucky brought Y/N to his place to tend to her injury, but she insisted that the wound was nothing to worry about. Gently placing her down, he uttered a stern "Be good," an order that caught Y/N off guard and made her blush. The Bucky she used to know seemed to have transformed into a grown man.
She recalled his earlier words, "Next time I catch you, you won't be leaving my bed."
The desire to leave crossed her mind. However, Bucky, sensing her hesitation, caught her arms and urged her to stay. His worry for her safety was evident; he knew Richard had hired an expert to catch the phantom thief, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone harming Y/N.
Amid the tension, Bucky decided to lay the truth bare, "Y/N, you need to understand. Richard has hired someone to catch the phantom thief, and they're professionals. I can't let you go out there and get hurt."
Looking into his eyes, Y/N detected a mixture of concern and genuine care, "Bucky, I appreciate your concern, but I've handled worse situations before. I can take care of myself."
Bucky sighed, holding her arms firmly, "This is different, Y/N. They're not playing around. I can't stand by and let something happen to you."
Y/N, realizing the depth of his worry, softened her expression, "Bucky, I've been doing this for a while. I know how to handle situations.”
Bucky's expression shifted, torn between his duty and his feelings, "That doesn't mean I want you risking your life like this."
The air in the room crackled with unspoken tension after their banter. The adrenaline from the daring escape lingered between Bucky and Y/N, creating a charged atmosphere. Bucky couldn't help but notice how Y/N looked at him, a mixture of amusement and more.
Amidst the charged silence, Y/N couldn't resist a teasing comment, "You're so fucking adorable."
Her words hung in the air, adding to the palpable tension. Feeling the moment's weight, Bucky leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss against Y/N's lips. The sensation was electrifying, and it left both of them breathless.
Y/N, her cheeks flushed, broke the silence with a playful yet earnest remark, "Kiss me like that again, and I'm going to think you really love me."
Bucky, caught off guard by the admission, looked into her eyes with a newfound vulnerability, "I've been in love with you since I was a kid."
Y/N blushed, the realization sinking in, and the room became charged with a different kind of tension that had been lingering for years and was now impossible to ignore.
********
As the night deepened, Bucky and Y/N were enveloped in a quiet intimacy that transcended the day's events. In the softly lit room, there was a quiet understanding between them, a safe place where the burdens of their lives felt lighter for a while.
Y/N lay beside Bucky, her breathing soft and steady, the rhythmic melody of slumber weaving through the air. Bucky, captivated by the moment, couldn't help but be drawn to her.
With a gentle touch, he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his fingertips lingering on her cheek. Bucky couldn't resist the urge to lean in in the stillness, pressing a feather-light kiss to Y/N's forehead.
*********
The following day, Bucky slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see Y/N beside him. To his mild disappointment, the space next to him was empty. A flicker of worry crossed his face as he glanced around the room, hoping she hadn't left.
With a soft sigh, Bucky got up and headed to the living area. As he entered, he caught the aroma of a delicious breakfast that had been prepared, and his favorite dishes were neatly arranged on the table.
A smile touched his lips; it seemed Y/N remembered even the most minor details about him.
His eyes then fell upon a small letter on the table with a smiley face. Bucky picked it up, unfolding it to reveal the words, "Thank You, Bucky."
But it wasn't just the gratitude that caught his attention; Y/N had written something more behind the letter.
"You're not a bad kisser, Barnes. Keep that in mind for our next encounter. - Y/N"
As Bucky read the playful note, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He will keep chasing Y/N without any question since she's the thief who stole his heart.
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Time ; Regret
here's part two of "time"! i'm sure you all don't want me to end it here, so even tho i think it'd be a little cruelly funny to leave it up in the air like this, i promise there will be a part three— tho that will be the last part. this part is pretty dialogue-heavy, so i hope you enjoy the 'voices' i gave the characters<33
note sorry to have to post this again but tumblr posted it at the complete wrong time from my schedule and it wasn’t the right draft :( ( some kind of phone to computer mix up idk what happened</3 )
warnings ambiguous relationship/feelings between abby and reader, reference to romance, implications of unrequited love (it's not), she/her reader, lasting effects of torture to reader, morally grey reader, mention of joel's death/torture, ambiguous/story-teller dependent interpretation of major past event between characters
tags @frogtits1 @sawaagyapong @augieee21 @sunkissedbibi @eden-nox
part one part three
link to chapter 2 on ao3
After that, Abby decided against hugging you again, knowing she’d just get emotional. She didn’t know how you’d react to that anymore, so she played her safest bet and explained what happened from a distance, offering to help you work as she did. You didn’t react, but she could tell how upset you were just because you were so quiet.
When she offered to come over that night, you agreed immediately, and when she came to your house, you opened the door with puffy red eyes and swollen lips. She gave you a somber smile. “Come on.” She opened her arms for you, holding you for a moment before she came inside. “They wouldn’t want you to cry,” she said, trying to say something comforting you might, and it coming out improperly. It made you chuckle at her attempt, making her sigh as she stepped away from you. “I’m still not the best at comforting people,” she said quietly, shutting your door behind her as she entered with a small smile. She reached out, dragging her knuckle beneath your eye to rid of any stray tears. You smiled at the gesture, gaining one from her, too.
“You’re right, though.” You blinked away your feelings, taking her hand and leading her to your room so you could sit on the bed together. There was a brief, awkward silence. “What… Uh, what happened? How did it get to this?” You asked as you released her hand, playing with your own to distract yourself.
Abby swallowed, pursing her lips. She had a feeling you’d judge her for what she did, but she wasn't going to lie. “Joel… The way we— I killed him. Tortured him in front of his brother, and killed him in front of that girl; the one he killed everyone to save. She came after us. Went through all of our friends to get to me, and… let me go.” You couldn’t tell how she felt about being left alive, but you were glad she was, placing your hand back on hers for added comfort. “Don’t.” She went to pull her hand away, but you grabbed it with both of yours. “You can be upset with me—“
“I’m not.” You shook your head, holding her hand gently. “I never should’ve given you that lead. I’m sorry.”
“I would’ve found out eventually.” She shook her head. “And I still would’ve done it…” She grimaced. “And this all would’ve happened anyway.”
“There’s no point in blaming yourself,” you sighed. “You just have to—“
“Let go? Yeah… I’ve heard that,” she scoffed, giving your hand a squeeze before she let go. “Couldn’t do it before either.”
“I wasn’t going to say that, Abby.” You shook your head at her. “You just have to accept it. It probably won’t ‘get better,’ and you’ll probably never let go, but you’ll be able to move on with your life, and not feel guilty for that. Then eventually, you’ll start to remember happier things about them, and… you’ll accept it.”
“Is that what you did? Just accept it?” Her lip sneered when she asked the question, but her brows were bent upward with a contradictory emotion.
“I wanted to go back—“
“Why didn’t you?” She asked quickly, eyes rimming red just as quickly and making you avert your gaze.
“I couldn’t…” You shrugged, forcing that same flippancy you gave Mel and Nora. “I mean… I left like a fucking coward, Ab,” you laughed at yourself. “Going back? I’d feel like a complete fool. I couldn’t face you guys— I couldn’t even face you guys four years later. The only thing I could do was keep going and try not to fucking die, I don’t know.”
“Everyone wanted you back,” she muttered, now understanding the brief encounter you had months ago.
“I didn’t think you did.” Abby frowned, the words sounding like you were singling her out. “I thought, I don’t know, even if everyone else wanted me to be there, you wouldn’t after I suggested something so stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid,” she said, chuckling lightly at your tone.
“It was insensitive.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t care… I didn’t even think of that, I just—“ She shook her head, sighing. “The first thing I thought when you mentioned it was that you were going to leave… I wanted to make it my choice that we wouldn’t see each other again, so I said something stupid— but if I’d just waited, let you talk, then… I would’ve realized you wanted to go together. Everyone just thought you planned on going alone.” She pursed her lips, looking away. “It was my fault everyone responded like that— don’t say it wasn’t,” she said before you could object. “No one would’ve said anything if I didn’t.”
“I didn’t care that much about what everyone else said. I figured they just thought I was going to leave you all, but… I thought you were telling me to leave for bringing it up in the first place.” You lied back on the bed so Abby wouldn’t see your face. “Even still, when I was alone, fucking terrified, the only thing I could think of was whether or not you guys were okay; how, maybe, it was better that I wasn’t there… It seemed like you guys got even closer when I saw you.”
There was a brief pause as Abby looked down at you. Clearly, you both needed to have this conversation, but it was almost impossible to have with how hard it was to sort out either of your feelings.
“The first thing I wanted to do when I realized you were gone,” she started slowly, “was go and find you; tell you that I don’t care, and if that’s what you wanted we could go. We could go to Los Angeles, or Santa Barbara, or San Francisco, or wherever the fuck you wanted to go, ‘cause I had no fucking idea what I was going to do without you… And I needed you.” The waver in her voice made you shut your eyes, taking in her words with a crease between your brows and a frown tugging at your lips. “I fucking needed you, and I just wanted to be with you, and I was scared, so I snapped at you thinking— I don’t know what I was thinking… Maybe-maybe if you knew we wouldn’t be together, then you wouldn’t go? Fuck, I just wanted you to stay with me,” she was rambling, words quick and spilling out until she caught herself, “and everyone else. Where you were safe. Where we were all safe. Together. I didn't mean to push you away.”
You had no idea what to say, staring up at the ceiling with a frown as your eyes shone beneath the warm light. You were quiet, voice small as if you knew just how wrong you were now. “I just wanted you happy,” you mumbled, hardly confident in what you used to think to yourself to justify your actions.
“Without you?” She scoffed at you. “Really?”
You shrugged, now thinking of anything that could back you up. “You had Owen.”
There was a moment of pause before Abby laughed, grabbing your pillow and hitting you with it. “Fuck you.”
“What?!” You laughed, pushing the pillow away and covering your face as she threw it at you. “You… loved him, or whatever,” you waved off, unable to hide the disdain in your voice.
“That’s what. You never liked us together.” You shrugged. “Why?”
You looked over at her, looking her up and down. “I don’t know.” You moved to sit up, huffing as you did and covering it with an exaggerated sigh. “You were my person.” There was a faint upward pull to her lips at that, but it fell quickly when she replayed the sentence in her head. She was your person, and you had stayed hers. After all those years; years of having your picture in her room or pocket, you had stayed close to her heart, but now she was nothing more than an old friend to you. “What?” You asked when you noticed her expression, reaching out and placing a hand on her thigh.
She swallowed, looking down at your hand. “Did you— Did you ever…” She stumbled over her words as she stared at your hand on her, eventually looking away. “Think about us? Any of us? I mean, you, Mel, and Nora were so close…”
You waited for her to finish, but that seemed to be the end of her sentence, so you stood. You went to your dresser, hand on your lower stomach as you grimaced but made sure to hide it from Abby. You grabbed an old jewelry box, taking it in unsteady hands and carrying it back to the bed where you set it down. Around your neck, there was a leather necklace you untied and pulled from your shirt, taking the key at the end of it and unlocking the box.
There was an old tape recorder inside. Headphones and car keys too, and a stack of photos among other trinkets.
Abby looked shocked, looking at you before reaching for the box when you nodded. The car keys, from the first time her dad taught you to drive, were tied to an old coin he’d gifted you. They were on top of an old photo of you and him in his greenhouse.
Her hands went for the other photos, looking through them and seeing how many there were of her or the two of you. You had more of your friends than you did with them; some of these photos she’d never seen before and making her brows pull together as she smiled somberly.
“When I was in Washington,” you spoke up quietly, looking at the pictures as Abby went through them. “Leah was on patrol when my group was leaving. I didn’t have many pictures of us together, so she gave me most of those… I guess she just had them with her.”
Abby smiled faintly. “She kept pictures of us with her all the time.” Her smile then fell again. “I thought you guys left immediately?”
You pursed your lips. “I needed a little extra medical attention before we could leave. She found our hiding spot.” You quickly continued before she could question you. “So I told her about how I lost one of my only pictures of us and my other tape recordings, and she just gave them to me.”
“Of us?” She looked up at you and you nodded. Abby went into her pocket, fingers digging for a wrinkled piece of paper. “I don’t have the recording with me; it's in my room, but… ” she muttered, pulling out the photo and smoothing over the water damaged paper before she handed it to you. “It’s a little ruined.”
“You had this?!” You took it, looking down at the picture and feeling your eyes burn before you moved to hug her, arms squeezing around her shoulders. “You don’t know how bad I felt about losing this, Abby.”
Her hands found your hips, awkwardly pulling you into her before her arms went around your waist to comfort you with how emotional you were getting over one picture. “It’s okay,” she tried to soothe, hand running up and down your back. “I’m glad you lost it. I finally got to keep a picture of us,” she laughed awkwardly, leaning back against your bedframe with you still in her arms. She knew you were trying to hide your face from her, so she let you stay as you were. “I actually thought you just left it behind.”
“What?” You laughed, pulling back to frown at her. She smiled at your laugh, hands still resting on your waist in case you hugged her again.
“I found it by the fire after you left.” She shrugged. “It was with your MP3.”
“So, what? You laughed again. “You thought I was burning pictures?”
“I don’t know, maybe?” She laughed, releasing you as you sat next to her with an eye roll.
Usually, you’d lean into her, or rest your head on her shoulder when you sat next to her, but now things were so different that you couldn’t just bounce back into old habits.
Every touch, every word, every glance, it was all based on feeling; some feeling that was brought up by the past before that fleeting feeling passed too, and soon, Abby was starting to realize you’d become complete strangers to one another. You hardly understood each other anymore. You weren’t certain how the other would react, or reciprocate, you didn’t even know what could be said at times. Even if you could reminisce for hours, when it came to talking and being present, there was hardly anything you could do.
It left Abby forgetting your advice and wishing she could go back to do this all over again; forget about finding Joel first and just find you. Or just go with you to California and spend the years like you did. No matter how much she wanted to go find him. No matter how much she would have regretted it.
At least you wouldn’t be a stranger to her.
Though, she had no idea how those years were for you. She didn’t know the hell you’d gone through, or the sleepless nights. No matter how much you told her that night, you didn’t tell her how you made yourself sick with guilt to the point that you had to lock all of your keepsakes away. Especially because you thought you’d lost one. She didn’t know how hard you worked to accept everything that happened, how seeing them after four years caused a rift between you and your squad to the point that they were telling you just to stay in Washington, how her showing up completely threw you off guard.
But maybe that was for the best.
Because that night, while she was wide awake, thinking of how she could find a way to know you again, you slept soundly. Sleeping through the night for once as you lied with the picture Abby left with you under your pillow.
The next morning, Abby came to the greenhouse. You smiled when you saw her, setting aside your plants to give her your full attention.
“Hey.” She smiled. “I’m going on my first patrol—“
“Already?” Your worried tone made her chuckle. “Ab, you’re still recovering.“
“I know, but I need to get back out there. I’ll go crazy if I don’t.” You grimaced, crossing your arms. “I was wondering if you’d go with me? It’s just around the island, so no combat.” You narrowed your eyes, wondering why she’d bring that up. “It’ll be quick,” she continued to try and persuade you.
“I don’t go on patrols anymore,” you told her, replacing your questioning glare with a sympathetic smile. “Sorry.”
“Oh…” She didn't ask why, just nodded before reaching into her pocket. “Okay, well, I brought this with me to give back to you—“
“No, no, no. Keep it.” You took her photo out of your pocket and handed it over. “I’m sure you’ve realized these go together now. You’ve had them for years. Please.”
The way you spoke to her, so cordially it seemed formal, made her feel uncomfortable in a way she couldn’t describe. She gladly kept the items, thankful you hadn’t, but also wishing you at least seemed to want them.
“Maybe…” You looked around, all of your morning duties done for now. “Maybe I could go with you just this once,” you suggested upon seeing the look on her face.
But she didn’t want you to placate her.
“That’s alright.”
“You sure?” You frowned at the sudden change in tune.
“I’m sure there’s a reason you don’t go anymore.” She gave you a smile and you nodded.
After that day, you didn’t speak much. Lev would come for lessons, and Abby would have to get him sometimes, but slowly, she just faded into another one of your comrades; people you knew but had no relationship with. People who hardly crossed your mind on a day-to-day basis.
She overheard you with one you were closer to— one of your new friends.
“So,” she started, “you know that new girl?” She asked as Abby passed by the greenhouse on her way out to patrol. She planned to get a pouch from you, but paused to eavesdrop. “I heard she’s from Salt Lake.”
You’d hummed. “We grew up together… But I don’t really know her anymore,” you’d admitted quietly, solemn.
Your friend huffed a laugh. “You’re so dramatic. What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”
You chuckled. “I dunno, just… Ya know, when I did know her, she was the best person I ever met. So gentle… kind. She had a way with animals— people, too. I don’t know, she was always so perfect to me when we were younger. I probably had a little crush on her or something.” Your friend cooed at you. “But as we grew up, we were, just, so close. Her dad just took me in like family after mine was… taken.” She could hear your voice falter. “But when he was killed, things changed… Remember that tip I gave in Washington? ‘Bout Tommy.” Your friend hummed. “His brother, Joel. He was the one to kill him, and Abby… She beat him to death. In front of his brother… In front of his kid.”
She could hear the way you struggled to get the words out, biting her inner cheek. She wanted to leave, but she also wanted to know what else you’d say, waiting for you to continue.
“And I don’t even blame her. It makes me sick, but I don’t blame her ‘cause if I ever found out who destroyed my family?” Your voice darkened. “I’d do so much worse.”
“No need to justify to me,” your friend huffed, humming in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean.”
There was a pause before you spoke again “And sometimes, I wish I’d been there to see it through. To know that he’s actually dead… Or, even just to be there for her— ‘cause the girl that I knew? She never could’ve done that. I never would’ve let her get to that point; feel that way? Hurt that much but… I left her.” Your friend tried to speak over you, but you stopped her. “So, I can’t help but feel at fault for what happened to our friends. I don’t know anyone who would still want to care about me after what I did. So, I just feel like I don’t know her anymore. I can’t understand her at all.”
Abby thought of talking to you that night, telling you she overheard the conversation, but she couldn’t bring herself to face you knowing how guilty you felt.
What if seeing her made you feel worse? Talking to her made you feel sick? She’d spent all these years feeling guilty, only to find out you felt the same— and now even more so because you knew how she ended up here. Like this.
She could say the same thing about you. She thought you were perfect when you were younger, she wanted to protect you as you got older, and she felt like she failed you now. Like it was her fault you felt this way. She could say the exact same things you did, which was why she kept her distance and waited for you to come to her.
She waited.
And waited.
#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson#abby anderson hcs#abby x reader#abby tlou#abby anderson x fem reader#abby anderson fluff#abby the last of us#abby and lev#abby anderson angst#abby anderson ff#abby anderson fic#abby anderson x you#abby x you#tlou abby#tlou x reader
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Useless | Matt Murdock x Reader
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Masterlist
Summary: Mental illness can be a cruel bitch sometimes. Thankfully, Matt Murdock is patient and he always takes care of you, even when you try to shut him out.
Warnings: ANGST, emotional hurt/comfort, Mental Health Episode, allusions to self-harm and suicidal thoughts, post Season 3 (spoilers ahead), not proofread
A/n: to anyone following me, you already know why this is being posted. I wrote this while I was depressed. I hope it helps some of you. I won’t say any more because there’s no words to be said about this. It’s sad but there’s comfort in the end and some wisdom I’ve gathered. You’re welcome!
I’ve put whatever I have left to post into the queue. I’m going to bed now. I wanted to post this beforehand because I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished for the first time in a while. I’ll see you soon, but probably not tomorrow… like I said, baby steps. My profile’s been busy enough for today and me too, for that matter. Take care of yourselves and please, if you ever feel down, don’t hesitate to talk to someone!
He knocks three times. He has a key, so he doesn’t have to knock, but he does, and after that he even rings the doorbell, but you can’t bring yourself up to get off the cold bathroom floor.
“Sweetheart,” his gentle voice rings out. There’s a small thud, it sounds hollow and quieter than his insistent knocks just a moment ago. His forehead collides with the wood of the front door and the room falls silent. “I can hear your heartbeat, y’know, so I know you’re not dead, but it’s still distressing to not hear from you for days,” he says. “I’m gonna open the door now.”
He finds you in the bathtub, but there is no water and you’re still wearing your pajamas from two days ago. You’re dry, so you haven’t showered with your clothes on, and overall it seems as if you’re just using the bathtub as a makeshift bed rather than an attempt to cool yourself to death.
Matt sighs deeply. “You know how worried I was?”
Your mouth is dry, your head fuzzy and you can’t possibly speak with your throat this tight.
Control is a fragile concept. You might be in control of your life for one second, and then the next everything's falling apart. Your kind descends into a downward spiral and once you’re going down, breaking out seems like an impossible task to do.
It’s times like these where life feels like it’s just happening to you and you have to sit back and endure it. You physically can’t take the reins back, no matter how hard you try. You’re paralyzed. It’s your head that’s screaming for you to act, but all you can do is sit back and watch in horror as you drive yourself off the road.
“You’ve been shutting people out again, haven’t you?” He rhetorically asks. “Because when I asked your friends, they said they haven’t seen you in days either, they’ve just read your texts, and they were short and snappy and that’s not like you, baby. Or it is, but only when it’s getting bad again. I was afraid this might have happened, I just didn’t want to accept it until I couldn’t bear it anymore. I had to check up on you. Glad I followed my gut.” He says the last part under his breath, and the relief mixes with the worry in an expression that makes you want to throw up. It’s sickening how much he cares, and the world doesn’t deserve him the same way you feel like you don’t.
The truth passes right by you. All you can think about is what you keep telling yourself. You’re useless, worthless, a nuisance and everyone hates you, so you need to erase yourself from the narrative to make the world slow down and make everyone just shut up. Even now you want Matt to shut up because his voice is like the sound of a million needles dropping on the floor of a hollow room all at once.
The worst part is, you know you should feel guilty for caving in on yourself but you can’t feel anything but this nagging feeling of anger and frustration eating away at your heart. Even his voice makes your fists clench. At least the deafening quiet has kept your nerves from fading into nothing and triggering that toe-curling feeling of overstimulating that sits right at the top of your brain and makes every last muscle twitch in a way that causes anger to seep from your pores, he can smell it.
He can hear it in your heart and your breathing too, he knows you’re not okay, and he knows his constant questioning only makes the fire that is burning you alive worse. It’s been like this before and it will continue happening, he knows. He knows that and he accepts you with all of your flaws and all the problems you might have. He loves you, why should he leave you for something that’s not even your fault? You haven’t quite grasped the concept of his devotion for you yet, but he’s determined to prove it to you.
He kneels next to the bathtub, shedding his suit jacket along the way and placed his chin on his forearms as he leans forward. His glasses land on the floor and his smile is so lopsided, it makes you frown for a second. He’s trying his hardest to make you smile with the way his sightless brown eyes try to find yours, and his teeth glisten in the bathroom light as he grins at you.
“What is it this time?” He doesn’t question your behavior, he just wants to understand. He knows you better than anyone else, after all.
You let out a prolonged breath. Even his voice has you on edge, but you suppose it could be worse. He’s not as annoying as your own voice when you answer, “Life.”
You sound so drained, his features soften even more and he reaches out to brush the greasy hair out of your face. There is wine in your breath, his nose picks up on that instantly, and you desperately need a shower, but he doesn’t tell you that because he knows you already know that. He’d never judge you for it. He’s happy as long as you’re alive, the rest can be figured out at a later time.
“Are you drunk?” he asks.
“Lightly buzzed,” you say.
The alcohol was supposed to take the edge off, but it’s only made you more nervous.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Do you want to take a shower?”
“No. I need the world to be fucking quiet, that’s what I need.”
You flinch at your own tone, but he doesn’t seem fazed at your snappy nature. You swear it’s not personal. You would have apologized a million times if you hadn’t been so tired, and he really doesn’t seem to mind. He simply nods, acknowledging your wish.
“Okay,” he says. “Can I take you to bed then, at least? Your back probably hurts. How long have you been here?”
Your eyes flutter closed. “This morning,” you tell him.
He sighs wearily. “Of course, you have. Can I take you to bed, sweetheart, please? I’ll make sure you’re properly compressed so you won’t get triggered by new sensations, I promise, just… let me do this for you. The bathtub is no place to cry, you’ve told me that.”
You did, once.
And you couldn’t possibly protest, even if you tried. Your back does hurt and you’re more tired than usual. You haven’t required this much sleep in a while, but your mind and body are both exhausted and you feel as if you’re going to faint if you keep staring at the white bathroom tiles. Matt’s presence has knocked some sense back into you, bringing reality to the forefront, but the alcohol and shed tears keep your mind fuzzy to the point you’re not sure if you can feel your legs.
Matt senses your hesitation. Ever the caring boyfriend, he reaches his arms out to lift you out of the tub. “C’mon,” he says.
“Why aren’t you angry?” your voice cracks as you ask the dreaded question.
He has you up in his arms in an instant. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?”
His lips press to your temple, a silent answer as he carries you into your still-dark bedroom.
“Matt,” you try again, but he stops you.
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he says, wrapping your fragile body in blankets and mountains of pillows. “It’s okay to feel like shit sometimes, and if you need to shut people out to feel better, that’s okay too, just try telling them how you feel before you disappear or they might start thinking you hurt yourself.”
“I don’t do that anymore.”
He swallows hard at the emphasis. “I know, sweetheart, but it’s hard for the people who love you to differentiate.”
You pout, “I’m sorry.”
“No,” he shakes his head, “don’t say that. It’s not your fault. Here, scoot over.”
He takes off his shoes and the rest of his clothes until he’s left in his boxers. You do as you’re told and let him into bed with you.
“You want to cuddle or is that too much?” he asks.
Considering your skin feels hot and on fire while your flesh is freezing, your heart contracting in pure agony at even the thought of being touched, you shy away and shake your head, the tears finally starting to flow. He smells the salt in the air, mixing with the salt of your sweat.
You hide your face in the pillow. The sob that passes your lips sounds broken. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you admit. “Everything just… sucks.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, I wish I could help you.” He doesn’t touch you. He respects your boundaries.
You shiver, curling further into the pillows. His warmth is there, but his hands aren’t. Still, it’s enough to make your body vibrate with the heaviest sob you’ve let out in a while. He wants nothing more than to hug you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he sits by your side and lets you cry it out in the company of someone who understands how you feel because he has them too, the bad episodes, the times he just wants to shut everyone out and sleep in his bathtub. It’s because of that he isn’t angry or upset with you for doing what your mind thought to be right at the moment. He understands better than anyone else ever could, and it somehow makes the tears flow even faster and harder to the point you can’t help it anymore. You ignore the smoldering fire in your chest and curl around his arm; it’s all you can do without breaking apart, but you need him while not needing him, and a touch you can control is better than something forced on you. His pulse drums against your fingers resting around his wrist and it manages to calm your own in the process.
“I want a different brain,” you eventually choke out. “It’s not fair God gave me the messed up one. I don’t want it. I don’t want to be me. I just want to be someone else, just for today.”
The human psyche is treacherous and easily turns your entire mindset against you.
He sighs, reaching up to pat your hair. “I’m sorry,” it’s all he knows how to say. He’s sorry that you feel this way, that you feel guilty for being you, and that there is nothing he can say or do that would make the monster shut up.
His presence has to somehow suffice, telling you you’re not alone anymore and that you’re not the failure you make yourself out to be. He helps you heal while at the same time, he makes you better. You hate him for being so kind, for making you love him so deeply you can’t possibly hate him. It’s confusing, all of this, your heart and your feelings, but most importantly your thoughts.
The tears die down eventually, your tear ducts empty and your mind and body tired from screaming at each other. Your hold has tightened around his arm, your eyes squeezed shut and the occasional sobs are all that are left from the unplanned breakdown.
Matt still has his hand in your hair, brushing through it until your heartbeat has slowed and you can breathe again.
You feel obligated to apologize. “I’m sorry,” you say. Of course, he shuts you down.
“It’s not your fault,” he reminds you. “And I’m always going to be here to tell you that. I love you, sweetheart, and you’re worthy of my love. You’re worthy of all of my love. It’s okay to be depressed, it’s okay to take what you need and it’s more than okay to take a break.”
“Then why do I feel so useless? It’s been like this for a year now and I can’t… I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Everyone reaches their breaking point eventually. I did, back when I was still living in the church basement. But I crawled my way back out of hell. You know how long it took me, so why put yourself down for taking your time now?”
He makes a valid point, which is infuriating. You whimper. “I hate that I love you so much.”
He chuckles. “Right now you do, tomorrow you won’t.”
“I know.” Your voice cracks again. “God, I’m so sorry. My head’s a mess.”
He leans over to kiss your hair again. “Well, thank God I’m here now to take care of you,” he says. “Tomorrow, I’ll clean up your apartment and make sure you eat something. You don’t have to shower if you don’t feel ready, but it might help. But we’ll see that tomorrow, okay? For now, I want you to rest. I’m right here if you need me.”
The sleep catches up with you shortly after he’s done talking, his hand scratching your scalp while he whispers Sweet nothings into the night, distracting you from the hellish thoughts your mind has conjured up for you. It’s just you and him, his voice a lullaby that you’ve grown accustomed to, and with Matt by your side, you finally fight your way into a dreamless sleep.
He’s your solace, your lifeline, your lifesaver, and he’s always there, even when you don’t ask him to. He’s the comfort you need, your common sense and the sun that lights up your darkest days. Without him, you’re sure you would have been lost, swallowed by the tide of severe mental illness and the cruelty that is life itself.
You love him and he loves you, the perfect pair, both damaged but so good to each other, the bad matters a little less when you’re together.
#matt murdock#tw: depressive episode#matt murdock x reader#gender neutral reader#daredevil#daredevil x reader#mental illness#reader insert#matt murdock angst#hurt/comfort#matt murdock fluff#it’s queue bitches
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Blindsided
Part 7
Ominis x MC
Summary - Oh no, everyone is sleeping around and there isn’t enough beds! Whatever shall they do!
Continuing the Domestic bliss! Another part should be ready soonish!
Again feel free to swap Evelyn MC or Y/N
Warnings - Nothing much, it’s just the ULTIMATE PINE-FEST! I may never let these guys get together because the lead up is just so cute!! All characters aged up 18+
Word Count - 2790
~
“Oh! Hello, my Young Friends! And Where may I be this fine evening?” The stoney visage of Ignatia Wildsmith moved with more grace than you would expect stone to have
“You could have waited Sebastian” Ominis teased as he bought Evelyn into the room, her face puffy from the mixed bag of emotions upstairs. Anne touched Eves arm, her nose scrunched up as if to ask Are you okay? Evelyn just nodded.
“I didn’t think it would do anything I just lit the flame” Sebastian scratched at his neck in confusion.
The sound of stone moving against stone alerted them all to the Ignatias plaque waiting not so patiently upon the hearth. Her eyes slowly moving between them all.
“Sorry Ignatia, we’ve just popped you up in my Ho-“ Eve started before being interrupted
“Hollow Haunt” Anne shouted clasping her hands over her own mouth at the sheer volume that escaped her.
“Very well” the golden scroll beneath Ignatias bust burned with the inscription Hollow Haunt as her profile settled back into the plaque to remain inanimate. Everyone looked at Anne, who giggled nervously.
“It’s the only thing I remember from History of Magic. The first name you say to a Ignatia plaque is the name of the location.” She explained wringing her hands awkwardly.
“Okay” Eve shrugged, not really caring what her house had been named “Why Hollow Haunt?”
“Well…�� she grinned seeing the indifference in Eves face “Since Professor Ronen put the defensive charms around the house the muggles struggle to…comprehend the property. That combined with me being as pale as I am and sometimes things float around the house, the villagers think I’m a ghost. The Hollow Residence is Haunted…Hollow Haunt” she grinned ear to ear “I’ve always wanted to be a ghost and scare children”
Sebastian tried desperately not to laugh. Eve seemed in a odd mood and he didn’t want to offend her anymore than Anne’s stunt may have. He clasped his hand over his mouth to hide the curl of lips.
Ominis simply shook his head. This is typical Anne. But he couldn’t grumble it was nice to have ‘typical’ Anne back.
“I love it!” Eve couldn’t help but smile. Anne’s joy was contagious and it was a rather clever name.
“Oh I’m so glad” She sighed in relief “I got food ready whilst you were upstairs” she skipped to the kitchen without pause.
“I thought we were going back after we’d put this thing up” Sebastian wiped his brow looking at Eve still unsure of her mood “I mean…it’s your house”
“We may as well stay the night now it’s dark out, and we won’t be able to get back before curfew if we’re eating”
“Are you okay with that?” Ominis squeezed her arm.
“Yes it’s fine” she smiled taking his hand and leading him to the small dining table shoved up the corner of the kitchen. Sebastian grabbed the plates from the kitchen cabinets and began to lay the table, whilst they idly chatted. Perhaps having people here wasn’t so bad. As though he could hear her thoughts Ominis squeezed her knee under the table, offering her a genuine smile.
“Told you” he whispered leaning into her “This is better than Home”
“Budge up now, time to get friendly” Sebastian leant across the tiny table putting bowls out for each of them. Ominis grabbed the underside of Evelyn’s chair scraping it across the floor and inching it closer towards him. She blushed at the sudden proximity, their chairs practically interlocked.
“Since when do you lot care about curfew anyway?” Anne asked serving out the homemade stew she’d been cooking since they arrived.
“Since…” Sebastian gulped sitting opposite Ominis on the round table “Since I’m the Tri Wizard Champion for Hogwarts”
“No” Anne said flatly taking her seat finally bumping shoulder to shoulder with Sebastian
“Yes?” He responded cautiously
“Merlin…I could cry! She flung her arms around his neck “Congratulations! Oh I’m so proud”
“You don’t think it’s foolish?” he choked out
“Not at all. I’d be pretty hypocritical, you know I’ve always wanted to compete for the Tri Wizard Cup” Ominis slammed his spoon down with a smirk on his face
“So thats why you entered” he said with faux disappointment
“Surprise?” Sebastian grinned goofily. They all laughed enjoying each others company as a family.
~
At some point in the evening, Sebastian had fallen asleep curled up on the small two person sofa in the living room. How he fit was beyond anyone’s guess, limbs dangling off every available edge. Anne had retired to bed shortly after she had finished with food. One of the only remaining side effects of her curse was she was constantly tired. Ominis and Eve cleaned the table together and sat drinking tea. An Earl Grey, she kept ‘for special occasions’. Their chairs remained interlocked, despite having the table to themselves, they leant forward on their elbows together, knees touching under the table. The warm glow of candlelight from the trio of tall dinner candles bathed Ominis in a delicious amber. His head hooked downward slightly, as was his signature, and his hands wrapped around the dainty tea cup. He smiled as Eve lost all semblance of decorum at the comment he’d made, clutching a hand to her mouth.
“You can’t say things like that” she choked out a laugh. “I’ll wake sleeping beauty over there” she dabbed at the tears leaving her eyes. He sat in comfortable silence waiting for Evelyn to recover. “Oh goodness, you nearly killed me”
“I shall endeavour to finish the job next time” he smiled. Truly her laughter was the sweetest sound. “I have a question for you” he smirked
“Go on, anything for my court jester” leaning forward once more, linking her arm with his.
“What would I be looking at right now?”
Her face fell.
It had been a while since they’d played this little game. Ominis would ask this to fill silences or out of a genuine curiosity and it sometimes ended rather awkwardly. A couple of times, Sebastian would lie and say he was staring at some seventh year and that she was coming over to confront the poor boy. He’d watch in hysterics as Ominiss eyes darted around trying to figure out where to settle his eyes so as to not cause any drama, which he only indulged in if he wasn’t directly involved in. After a few mishaps with Sebastian, the game became almost exclusive to Eve and himself.
Though she wasn’t completely innocent.
She lied anytime his eyes settle over her form. With Ominis being so much taller than her and the way he lulled his head down, more often than not, his eyes would settle over her lips, her nose, her…eyes. The rare time or two Ominis had made accidental eye contact with her, she had turned to putty. His brows furrowed when she stumbled over her words and that is where the lies began. ‘Y-you’re er…looking off past my…er…shoulder’.
She was sure he knew she was lying. Anytime she would shift out from under his gaze to give an accurate description of what was behind her, she’d turn back to him and his eyes would be trained back on her. Now she knew about his ridiculous hearing, she was almost certain that he did it on purpose
Right now, was one of those times. She didn’t know if it was the candlelight or something else entirely but the way his eyes bore into her made her tell him the truth.
“My lips…” she muttered entranced by the milky opals that’s stared at her. Her voice sounded foreign to her, heavy and low. “…or perhaps my chin”
Coward
His hands slowly moved from his tea cup to her face. They were warm and the lingering smell of citrus from the tea coated his hands. His fingertips lightly dancing over her pillowy lips and they parted in response.
“You do this when you’re relaxed you know” his voice barely a whisper “Sebastian says when you’re studying, or you’re with us…content…your lips part and your eyes go wide like you’re trying not to look cold. Most of the time, he says, you have this harsh furrow to your brow and….” his fingers pushed ever so slightly on her bottom lip, forcing it up to the other. “You suck your lips into a thin line. You walk around with this face that causes students to run and hide” he laughed breathily “I find that hard to believe”
“I have been told I have a rather unapproachable face” she smiled wide against his fingers.
“This isn’t unapproachable” he swept his hands one final time over the plains of her face before cupping them under her chin.
He was…so…close. He knew Sebastian wouldn’t interrupt like last time and he could easily close that small gap between them. His chest heaved with the thought of her lips on his.
She couldn’t stop the yawn that suddenly enveloped her, his hands warm and enticing just…
He smiled before removing his hands.
“Come on, Time for bed”
She grumbled taking another sip of the Earl Grey whilst looking over the brim of her cup to the clock on the wall. She choked a little as she noticed the time, slumping against Ominiss shoulder.
“Merlin, I didn’t realise. We er…need to figure out sleeping arrangements”
“Do you have another bed? or chair…or spare bit of floor, honestly I’ll sleep just about anywhere” he chuckled, lids now heavy.
“You will not sleep on the floor you can have my bed, I’ll sleep with Anne” he coughed out a singular laugh
“No you won’t. Have you ever slept with Anne or Sebastian? You’ll end up black and blue. It’s fine you have your bed, I’ll sleep…here” he placed his hands firmly on the wooden dining chair.
“I have a comfy chair in my room…if…you don’t mind sharing”
“Of course not”
“Well… Come on then” she offered him her hand, guiding him up the unfamiliar stairs “Sleeping at the dinner table honestly, you’re like a cat” she giggled, dragging him through her bedroom door.
She pulled the chair closer to her bed and gathered some blankets for him “you can put your legs up on the bed, I don’t mind and you can use these” she placed the little parcel of plush bedding into his hands. They stood awkwardly in front of each other for a moment.
“Would you like me to leave whilst you get undressed?” He asked his cheeks turning a vague pinkish colour in the little light from the moonlight.
“N-no it’s okay. You can’t see me anyway” she tried to alleviate the tension in the room with humour. Why was this so awkward? They’d slept on each other multiple times in the common room. How was sharing a room, not touching worse? Is it because it’s her bedroom?
Grow Up Evelyn…
He circled around her to sit in the chair, legs spread and hands gripping the arms of the chair. She puttered around making her bed and removing the laundry when she looked up at him.
Why did he look like that? She’d never seen that look in his eyes before.
“Then why…” he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him “haven’t you taken off your clothes” his eyes seemed to darken.
Oh…
He didn’t mean to sound like that. Merlin, he couldn’t recognise his own voice. It was only meant to be a coy little joke. They’d made vaguely amourous comments to each other before always, always in jest, much to Ominiss chagrin. But this was…different. He’d let himself get too worked up in the fantasy of claiming her lips and now he was acting like a beast.
He listened intently to the sounds of clothing hitting the floor, counting them out and trying to imagine what each piece could be. Shirt? Trousers? Underwear?….
Then silence.
The thought of her being naked in the same room as him set his mind racing.
What has gotten into you? This is her home and you’re acting like an animal!
This was indecent. She deserved better than this. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the chair, formulating an apology for his behaviour when…
“Could you help me?” She muttered, suddenly feeling her presence looming over him.
“Of course” his voice still hoarse, he tried to ignore the affects that she had on him and hoped that she couldn’t hear it, or at least thought it was due to a lack of sleep.
But her request wasn’t going to help matters.
“Thank you. I just need the buttons undoing on this dress, I can’t…quite…urgh”
“You are asking a blind man to help you with buttons?” He chuckled, his normal lithe tone returning slowly to his voice.
“Honestly if this wasn’t Poppys I’d say rip me out of the damn thing but…probably best I don’t return it to her in scraps”
What is going on tonight? Was she sent specifically to tempt him? He contemplated for a second tearing the clothing away from her skin and throwing the money at Poppy next time they met.
Until he remembered the reason he hadn’t properly attempted to court her.
His name.
Whilst he was still a Gaunt and whilst his family were still, unfortunately, involved in his life, she was in immediate danger. He’d chastised himself many times when rumours spread about the two of them being involved and he’d received an owl almost immediately from his mother asking who this girl was he had been seen with. Thankfully his silver tongue, that worked so masterfully on faculty, also seemed to work on his family and they quickly dropped any forced proposals and further questions once he revealed she was, in fact, muggle-born. Oh. So not worth their time. He obviously disagreed with their stance on her but if it saved her from any unwanted visits to Hogwarts from the Gaunt Family, it was worth it.
Besides,
He had plans in place that meant his self appointed ban would be lifted soon enough. And then he could treat her exactly how she deserved. How he had always wanted to, even if he had indulged a little more than he had thought. Thoughts of her skin beneath his fingers and chaste kisses littered his mind, the smell of her hair when she slept upon his chest…
His thoughts were interrupted when she took his hands and placed them on her waist.
“Can you get them?” She bought him back to the here and now.
“I’m on it” he rose from the chair to loom over her from behind. He was quiet for a second before she felt the slight release of tension from around her midsection. She sighed at the growing sense of comfort returning to her.
“Thank you so much” she hummed
“Is this why you don’t usually wear dresses?” He asked breathily, concentrating on the infuriatingly fiddly buttons lining her spine.
“Mmmm I hate the things. But muggle culture is a little more…strict than the wizarding world. There’s no way Imelda would handle the muggle world. With her backchatting and abrasive behaviour…” she sighed “I’m so glad I’m a witch”
“Me too” his breath tickled her neck as he undid the last button. He hooked his fingers underneath the fabric, feeling for any other connections between the panels. The backs of his fingers gliding effortlessly down the bare skin of her back.
“Are you not going to get comfortable?” She asked meekly pulling away from him to remove the dress “You can have your shirt back that you gave me. I use it to sleep in anyway and you’ve given me….mmmm…roughly 4 over the years. I won’t go without” he heard the innocent smile in her voice and felt her presence in front of him once again. “I don’t have any bottoms for you though I’m afraid” she pressed the shirt into his chest
“Thank you, I’m going to read for a little I…Merlin’s beard you’ve worn this to within an inch of its life” he felt the fabric handed to him. He knew it was once a formal shirt once given to her after a potions incident ruined all of hers, starchy and stiff, and now it’s soft panels were adorned with tiny holes from being washed too many times. She giggled.
“I like it. It’s comfortable” she yawned and he heard her climb into her bed, her voice suddenly muffled by her pillow “They used to smell like you but they don’t anymore…its sad…you smell…so nice…and it’s…mmmm”
Ominis heard her breathing slow rapidly and her idle chatter was replaced with soft barely audible snores. He smiled.
“Goodnight, love”
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#slytherin#hogwarts#hogwarts legacy ominis#hogwarts headcanon#hogwarts houses#hogwarts oc#ominis gaunt#sebastian sallow#ominis hc#ominis x you#ominis fluff#ominis x mc#ominis x y/n#ominis x oc#ominis imagine#ominis my beloved#ominis x reader#hogwarts fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#harry potter hogwarts game#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy#anne sallow#hogwarts sebastian#hogwarts ominis#blindsided
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r u a noah kahn enjoyer? not sure if ur taking requests rn but northern attitude for ludwig
oh not this song make me feel a lot of emotions 😳 okay.
listen. i've never heard this song until you suggested it. first of all, thank you for the suggestion. second of all, my heart vomited this up but i like it.
there will be AT LEAST a part 2 because when i got to where i got to i was like okay time to put it down and look at this again tomorrow. this is my version of putting down a piece of art to look at mistakes tomorrow, except i'll be writing more tomorrow.
-- PART 1 --
You and Ludwig hadn't seen each other in a few years, a fall out due to graduation and time. It's funny, they say you'll lose the friends you made in high school but the ones in college are friends for life, yet here you were with one of your friends from high school asking you how you knew Ludwig.
"We went to college together. We were study buddies, how do you know Ludwig?"
"He's a streamer - how do you," she stopped and put the picture frame down. "How do you not know that? You're online, like, all the time?" You shrugged. You were on your computer all the time but you worked on graphic design, you weren't necessarily on the internet. Half the time you just listened to music.
The curiosity gets to you though, would he remember you? You certainly remembered him - plenty of nights in one of your rooms, working on homework together, a night or two drinking shitty wine and watching a movie. A love found but lost.
you: hey ludwig not sure if you still have my number but we were friends in college, heard you are a big streamer now, good use of an english degree lol
An olive branch, a life line, even. You put your phone down, either he'd delete it because you seem like some random fan or he had your number blocked. Within minutes though, you had a reply.
Ludwig: how could i forget you i wouldn’t have passed biology without you. glad SOMEONE appreciates my english degree; usually i’m roasted for it 💀
You laughed. You made fun of him for it from the moment you met him, it made sense that everyone else did too. Conversation flowed easily. You couldn't remember the last time you laughed so hard, and honestly, he couldn't either. It was easy for you two to fall back into a rhythm, like it had only been a weekend apart.
Ludwig: would you ever want to get lunch or something?
He would never admit to how long it took to get the courage to ask, just as you would never admit how little thought you put into your 'yes of course!' reply.
--
Just a few days later and you were walking into a little café with him standing up to greet you and banging his knee into the table, yelping.
"Oh my god you didn't have to stand, I'm not the president," you laughed, crossing the distance and embracing him in a long awaited hug. He returned it, shrugging off your comment and for the first moment of many today, it felt like nothing had changed at all. Ludwig's arms tight around you, he still smelled like the same mix of deodorant and cologne. Something akin to a forest, teakwood... maybe birch. Something generic but home to you.
"It's good to see you," his voice was quiet in your hair, almost lost. There was a pounding in his chest that made his hands sweat and when you pulled away he anxiously rubbed his palms against his jeans. You both sat, your bag sliding between your feet at the table and conversation flowed like a waterfall.
How has life been? How are your folks? Do you still talk to anyone from school? How do you like streaming? What's been the best part of the experience? Are you in love with anyone? What do you do now, for work? Do you like it? Do you still go to the movie theater? Do you still think of me when you watch Crimson Peak?
"Do you still have that stuffed chipmunk I won you?" He leaned back in his seat and knocked his feet into yours. Suddenly, the embarrassment bubbled up onto your face, cheeks getting hot-hot-hot and he noticed. "If you don't it's okay."
"No I- I do. I uh," you felt like you were going to pass out, Ludwig leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, a shit-eating grin sliding onto his face. "I still sleep with it? It just. Lives on my bed." He wanted to tease you about it, keeping such a stupid memento for the past, what 5-6 years? But any comment was caught in his throat. "Well, say something already! I know you want to!"
"I-I'm just happy you still have it... would have thought you'd toss it out or somethin'," he found it hard to look you in the eyes, choosing to look at the cup on the table.
"How could I ever throw Mr. Stripes out? He was basically our mascot to get through tests. He's my good luck charm." You knocked your foot into his a few times, light taps and he looked back up at you with an almost nervous smile.
Hours had passed, drinks and snacks had come and gone. Your volume had only gotten louder and the laughter more rambunctious. One of the employees came over and Ludwig wiped the tears from his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, we're about to close for the rest of the day. Do either of you maybe want anything to go?" You shook your head, finally calming down from laughter.
"Thank you, I'm okay. Lud?"
"I'm good too," he shook his head, standing up. "Sorry if we deterred any customers, didn't mean to be so loud." The worker shook her head with a pleasant smile.
"It was nice to see you and your girlfriend on such a nice date."
"Oh we're not-" "We're not dating."
"Oh! I'm so sorry. Anyway - we close in a few minutes. We hope to see you two again." She left before you could reassure her it was fine and not an issue but Ludwig was holding his hand out like you need the help to stand up. You take his hand regardless after grabbing your bag.
"You uh, wanna come back to my place?"
"Sure."
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Mimi hie...people are so mad about JK inviting Easter and I honestly do not see a problem with what he did. Like why are they so mad?? How do you make you new friends then? And what better what better way than to do so at a camp where everyone else would be. I will not lie I love YN so much and she is my Queen but she blew things out of proportion. She sometimes just doesn't know when to step down during arguments and try understand JKs side. Which always results in how things ended 👩🦯
But it's just clear that you have a knack for drama and what more to do than put MIN Yoongi in the mixing pot. I cannot wait for the next chapter and take your time because I just live for the drama too
I’m glad you mentioned it! Jk has brought a lot of commotion, so let me talk about it a bit more. I’m not gonna talk about anything you guys don’t already know, I’ll focus on describing it more generally.
So where the issue started was jk saying he invited Ester, right? What we know about her, is that she doesn’t have a lot of friends and jk became one of them. They worked together and they hung out together. In previous chapters, Jimin mentioned something about why not inviting her when the four of them hung out. So what happened now, was that she wanted to hang out with him but he already had plans. We don’t know the exact situation but I’m sure everyone’s imagination will do. From jk’s perspective, he did feel bad for turning her down and before he knew it, he invited her because he thought “what’s the big deal?”. And really, it’s not a big deal at all. It’s not some exclusive camping trip where no one else is allowed. They’re very chill as a group and literally, no one would have any issue with anyone bringing a plus one. After all, some of them know Ester so it’s not like they’re completely unfamiliar with her and even if they were, I don’t see any problem with them meeting her and getting to know her. She’s not the enemy here. Jk meant well and again, Jimin & Taehyung were fine with her coming along.
The issue started when y/n voiced her irritation which we know is based on emotions. The situation escalated when jk talked back to her, basically having Ester’s back. He didn’t understand why she is suddenly so against her when Ester has been nothing but a nice girl. We know she’s shy and has a hard time making new friends. She’s also a foreigner and in a way, she’s very similar to y/n and when she first got to Seoul. He just couldn’t wrap his head around why she’s suddenly so strict about “friends only” trip. He got frustrated and he pointed out a few things in a heat of the moment. I’m not saying it was right because it wasn’t, but both of them should be held accountable. Both of them are idiots for behaving like kids.
Jk said some things back because y/n wasn’t backing down. In the end she got petty and said what she said, she obviously wanted to piss jk off knowing he doesn’t like Yoongi. Whether you like it or not, he was right when he said she did it on purpose. Because she did and she even admitted it.
I get it, everyone’s mad at him for not being so nice to y/n and you’re right. He got frustrated too and that made him react. Literally all of this could’ve been avoided if y/n wasn’t so vocal about not wanting Ester there. It really depends whose pov you look at it from. Both of them were wrong.
We read it from her pov, so I think it’s natural we get her more. But let me tell you, if it was anyone else inviting someone, she wouldn’t have any problem with it. She only used the whole “we never invited anyone and that’s so random” excuse because of her jealousy. I mean yes, she was right. It was random and it didn’t make sense but there was no need for such a reaction.
Again, both of them are idiots. Before you come at me, I’m not on jk’s side or anyone’s. They both are right and wrong at the same time (that’s how most arguments start in real life lol). I just wanted to talk about jk’s side more since everyone is coming for his neck 💀
#the moment jk is not all sweet suddenly everyone hates him 😭#poor guy he’s never good enough 😩😩💀#ask#ask: mutual help
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Some Dangerous Romance ep 2 thoughts (and spoilers)
Sailom is absolutely carrying this series on his shoulders, and Chimon sells the part so well. I keep saying this, but it feels like the Chimon role I’ve been waiting to see.
I thought the last scene was really interesting for what it reveals about both Kanghan’s and Sailom’s perspectives.
First of all, I know that the writers were probably just trying to come up with some way for Kanghan to believably scare away the loan sharks—but him bringing the gun??? He’s even stupider than I thought like WHO DOES THAT??? And the fact that his friends called to check in on him meant they weren’t going to put it past him to show up at someone’s house with a gun!
Secondly, I feel like when he walks into the house and sees Sailom begging for his life—we see him understand that while he *thought* he wanted to see Sailom brought down low like this, it’s not what he wanted after all. I feel like he’s honestly been having some gay panic, mixed with insecurity over Sailom being a genuinely better person.
So I’m gonna call him stupid again for confusing his hormones so badly that the conclusion he comes to is “yeah I’m gonna show up at his house with a gun.” All’s well that ends well, I guess??? Because it saved Sailom’s life, but like, what the fuck bro lmfao
In regards to Sailom’s perspective, I found it very telling how his reaction to the loan sharks is juxtaposed with his reactions to Kanghan. In the last scene, we don’t see any of the confident, smirking Sailom who always gets the upper hand. He’s truly afraid in a way that hasn’t been shown before. And it shows us how he’s seen Kanghan’s antics until now—as the work of a child compared to what Sailom has to deal with from the loan sharks.
And I think this also puts more weight behind how angry Sailom gets at Kanghan’s behavior. Because he doesn’t view the bullying as something that Kanghan will naturally grow out of. He knows that boys like Kanghan will grow up into men like the loan sharks.
“I want you to see that money can’t buy you everything.”
I think this scene came at a really important moment for Kanghan—if he hadn’t seen what he did, he would have just gone through with threatening Sailom, and it would never have stopped. But he got a glimpse of the type of person he was becoming, and now he has to decide what to do about that.
I’m also glad that Kanghan’s got people in his life who he respects and loves, who see how awful his behavior is and are willing to do something about it. I think that will go a long way, but it’s ultimately up to him what kind of person he decides to be.
Also like he better fucking apologize to my man Astro for not only the physical abuse but also the emotional trauma of setting a freaking VIP concert ticket on fire. He better be getting Astro connected with a one-on-one meetup with his idols before I even consider calling him “redeemed.”
Anyways, I’m having a good time with this show. My expectations are never high for this kind of story, but I decided to watch this because of the agency that Sailom seemed to have in the pilot trailer, and I haven’t been disappointed by that at all.
#dangerous romance#dangerous romance the series#chimon wachirawit#perth tanapon#dangerous romance spoilers#I’m gonna be smh for the next week about kang bringing a damn gun tho son wtf#em post
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Happy Birthday @The-DarkDragonfly!!
Happiest of birthdays @the-darkdragonfly to one of my best friends! I’m so glad that the fandom brought us together and while your birthday fic isn’t finished, I thought it would share some of my favorite fics of YOURS!
You are such a talented writer and such a wonderful person and if anyone hasn’t read these fics they are incorrect and need to fix it immediately)
This was very hard to narrow down because everything your write is perfect but I gave it my best shot!
The Ripple Effect
Of course I had to start with the fic that brought us together. This story, omg this story. Every time I read it I’m filled with an irrational anger at how unbelievably beautiful your prose is and what an ubelievable talent you have for creating atmosphere and building relationships between characters. The way you write this fic is magical, there’s no other word for it. It weaves through time and perspectives, dialogue and imagery and emotion and my heart just shatters every time I read about these two adorable broken idiots fixing each other and falling in love. And omg your little snippets of everyday life are so imaginative and hilarious and are so perfectly in character and somehow both incredibly specific and relatable. I could read a hundred million fics of just filler scenes (which I know you also have -Missing Moments)I will forever think of this fic when I watch the CS movie and wish that we’d gotten this instead.
Tempest
I hadn’t started this one when you were writing the first version but when you started on the rewrite omg I have jumped onboard and along for the ride the entire way with this adorable wonderful fic. I will say it now, I don’t usually like Captain Duckling but this story is so wonderfully written that you’ve managed to make me obsessed with your version of them. The dynamic between them is just beautiful and so honest and pure and they’re both just so. stupid. and I love them and will protect them with my whole heart. I adore the way that you don’t always give us all the moments of their relationship at once and just let us see it develop and then jump back and forth through time to give us scenes we’re already invested in and dying for. I love this fic and I’m fully aware that you’re gonna hurt me with it but I’m 100% here for it. And also - WILLIAM!!! My beautiful, sad, sassy, loveable William. I will never get enough of him and how you write him in this fic. He is the ultimate bestie and comic relief watching his mom and dad try to get their shit together and fall in love and I would die for him.
The Wreck of our Hearts
My birthday fic!!! This one is gonna be short because I get emotional just thinking about this story. You took my favorite Hook, Deckhand Hook, and mixed him with my other favorite, Silver Hook, and you’ve created a monster that no other Killian will ever live up to. Just an ultra sad broken man who still loves Emma so damn much and can I keep typing through my tears? I don’t know but I do know I’m gonna go reread through them.
People, please, if you haven’t, go read it. If you have, go read it again.
PS: If you ever wanted to revisit this universe or this character I’m not saying I’d be mad...
Old Times' Sake - A Captain Swan Tale
I don’t care if it’s July. This Christmas fic can be read any damn time of the year and it will destroy me and put me back together again every time. You’ve done it again! Taken my sad broken little babies and put them together and made them whole. This story is SO short (seriously I had to go back and check the word count because I couldn’t believe it) but it somehow has such a rich backstory woven in for both Emma and Killian, both their families and their relationship and oh man you know I’m a sucker for “what do you mean, feelings? this is just boning (LIES)” and you did it so perfectly here. This wasn’t my Christmas present but I’ve decided to claim it as such because it’s my favorite Christmas fic of all time (again, a genre I don’t like that you’ve somehow managed to make me adore - very rude. stop doing that. but also don’t. ever.)
Sill Love Songs
You KNOW I had to end with this one right? My very own birthday fic and omg I will forever be grateful to have you in my life for writing me this fic (and many other reasons but the point stands). This story is Hilarious. Like I was giggling and laughing out loud throughout because, you guessed it, William Fucking Scarlet. All I asked for was CS's love story told in the POV of his inappropriate wedding toast and GIRL. You delivered. He’s so absolutely perfect in this story. His interactions with Killian make me die (when he propositions him in the kitchen I thought I would straight up perish) and his interactions with Emma are equally hilarious but also so so soft and beautiful underneath it all. I did not expect to be hit in the chest with a mactruck of emotion in what I expected to be an aptly named silly little fic but of course I should have because everything you write carries so many layers of human emotion and you’re characters are so REAL and beautiful and flawed in such a true to life way. I don’t know where or how you developped such an amazing talent or if you were just born with it but I will selfishly devour and demand more of everything that you write with it.
I’m also just saying that the sequel doesn’t HAVE to be a birthday fic... I have a 2/3rds birthday coming up in August.....
Happy birthday bestie!
Thank you so much for everything that you write and for being such an amazing person in my life. I hope you have a wonderful birthday long weekend and a fantastic year!
And please add your tag list so they can all get a reminder of these amazing fics!
#happy birthday Kay!#honourable mention to every single other fic shes ever written#major cs fic rec#captain swan fic rec#cs fic rec#cs ff#talented author is talented#beautiful friend is beautiful
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Get It Together || KTH
(banner by @itaeewon)
Complete Faith
POV Drabble #7: Get It Together
WC: 2.5k
Warnings: language, drinking, overdrinking, Taehyung is going THRU it with this hangover and throws up multiple times but I tried really hard to just allude to it like 'he ran for the toilet' etc and there is nooooo description i am a squeamish baby
The request:
@pamzn I hope you like this one! I'm so glad you came up with this idea, it was super fun to do!
A/N: This is most of Chapter 9 :)
It takes Jimin and Jungkook both to convince Taehyung to attend the Halloween party. He didn't want to go, for a myriad of reasons.
One: a house party - what is he, twenty? He hasn’t been to a house party since he was in college, and it wasn’t really his scene back then, either.
Two: a costumed house party. Normally, Taehyung likes costumed events, chances to be a little creative with his appearance, but he’s just not feeling it these days. All that silly stuff… it all just feels a little out of reach, like he doesn’t have the emotional energy to spare on it.
Three: Jimin heard from Nikki that you were going, too.
Number Three is enough to make him want to stay home, all on its own.
“You need to adjust your attitude,” Jimin tells him, perched on the arm of one of the couches in the basement. “Why is everyone determined to have a terrible time tonight? Nikki says that between Jin and Y/N she’s -.”
“There it is,” Taehyung mutters.
“Excuse me?” Jimin asks, brows high, all sass. They both know he heard Taehyung fine, despite the loud music playing across the room.
“Why is everyone ‘determined to have a bad time’? You invited my ex,” Taehyung says flatly.
Jimin rolls his eyes with his whole body, somehow. It’s a gift he has.
“Firstly,” he says, and Taehyung looks at Jungkook for backup, because Jimin’s attitude is beyond what he can deal with tonight, “I didn’t invite Y/N, Nikki did, so you can be a bitch to her when she gets here. Secondly, that doesn’t explain why Seokjin is complaining in the groupchat, too.”
Jungkook leans over. “Do you guys think bugs have feelings?”
Taehyung and Jimin both just stare at him. He blinks back at them, all innocence. “What?” he asks. “You’ve never wondered? If they, like, have bug friends, and feel sad when their bug friend goes missing?”
“I’m getting another drink,” Taehyung says. He’s already practically vibrating with nerves over seeing you, pissed off that he’s here and not hiding at home, and now he’s got both Jimin and Jungkook acting up. Bad mood or not, he needs Seokjin to get there fast.
Upstairs, he gets Jimin a fresh vodka cranberry - hopefully it’ll mellow the Sass-Master out a little - and mixes something for himself, too.
You’ve got to get it together, he tells himself as he stirs. The truth is, he knows he’d have fun tonight if they removed the you factor. He eyes the two cups, then decides to pour himself a shot for the road before going back down the stairs. Then he won’t have to come back up as quickly.
The liquor hits him like courage; he imagines he can feel it in his legs. Bolstered, he takes the two cups he’d prepared and makes his way down to the basement again. Jimin’s pleased that Taehyung made his drink without being asked, and sweetens immediately, the attitude melting right away. Taehyung actually manages to have a little fun for a while.
Until his phone buzzes against his leg, and he opens it to see Seokjin announcing his arrival, the girls in tow.
Nikki just likes to torture him. Taehyung’s suspected this for a long time, and tonight it’s confirmed. She could have done any cute coupley costume with Seokjin. Instead, she left him to figure something out, and dressed herself and you in blue fairy costumes that are more body glitter than fabric - unless you count the wings.
He fucking hates her, right now. Goddamn.
He’s trying really hard to keep his eyes off your exposed navel when you meet his gaze, smiling a little sheepishly.
“Vampire?” you ask him.
Oh, he’d like to lure you into his lair.
Not trusting himself to speak, he nods, then empties his cup into his mouth.
Too bad you haven’t spoken in months. Too bad you left him and have no interest in looking back.
“I’m empty,” he says, needing the escape badly. “Anyone else need anything?”
“Beer, please,” Jungkook says, oblivious to how Taehyung’s throat is working, how he wets his lips, how his leg shakes. He needs out of this basement.
Upstairs again, he breathes in the bright fluorescents of the kitchen, the noise of voices that don’t belong to you, the pounding bass of music from the living room. He comes back to himself bit by bit.
He’s too sober to survive this. He makes a new drink, throws back one more shot, nearly forgets Jungkook’s beer.
The shot helps, and a few more hours pass a little less painfully; Yoongi and his girlfriend join the group and you all play some drinking games. Taehyung works on avoiding your gaze, avoiding any interaction with you at all. He sticks to Jimin, to Jungkook, to Yoongi, to Seokjin. He’s got options, and if he keeps his eyes on his cup he can almost forget you’re over there, stomach flexing as you reach for a card.
Almost.
The next time Taehyung needs to refill his cup, Jimin joins him. He’s feeling looser now, kind of floaty. The party blurs at the edges. It no longer feels like he’s being assaulted by each voice, by every stranger’s pressing presence.
Jimin checks his phone as Taehyung pours. “Y/N wants a beer,” he announces.
“No she fucking doesn’t,” Taehyung scoffs. He doesn’t even mean to say it, he kind of means to think it. But he knows you don’t even really like beer - it was something you have in common.
Jimin frowns dramatically, raising his eyebrow as if to say oh really? He types, waits for a response. “She says she does,” he says, holding out his phone as proof.
Taehyung’s tempted to mix you a rum and coke anyway, since he knows that’s your go-to, but he decides to let it go.
When Jimin heads back downstairs, Taehyung stays. He goes outside for a little, catches his breath. He checks the time on his phone; it’s not even 12:30. He’s got hours to go. With a sigh, he heads back into the kitchen.
His timing is terrible. You stand with your back to him, those awful blue fairy wings wiggling as you move to mix your drink. He thinks about sneaking away, but his cup is somehow empty again.
Huh. How’d that happen?
Carefully, he makes his way around you, reaching for the vodka bottle and lining up one of the little plastic shot glasses. He can feel you fucking looking at him, so he glances sideways at you and asks, “You want one?”
“No thanks,” you say, and there’s a lot in your tone that he’d really like an explanation for. Something chagrined, something guilty, something lacking. “I’m trying to keep my bad decisions to a minimum tonight.”
His head spins as he nods, but he pours the shot anyway. He’s lost count of these, not to mention the refills in his cup. However, he can say for sure that he wouldn’t have been able to stand here and talk to you like this three drinks ago.
“Well, cheers anyway,” he says, and takes his shot. It doesn’t even burn. Which, maybe that should concern him. He’s too preoccupied with your presence to notice or care. “You having fun?” he asks, just to ask something. Just to say something that isn’t goddamn do you see what you did to my heart? Don’t you see it there, on the ground, a pulpy mess?
“No,” you say, eyes on the floor. He lets out a breath. He’s relieved that you’re being honest. He’s relieved that this sucks for you, too. “You?”
He almost laughs in your face. “No,” he says. Of fucking course I’m not, he wants to say. How could I be? How could this possibly be fun for me?
He’s not sure at what point he started feeling angry, but he’s suddenly pissed. His mind is racing, ranting about you having the audacity to talk to him like things are normal, when you ask, “Would you have more fun if I left?”
That unnamable something still lingers in your voice; it’s like you know you’re torturing him by being here, and you want to make yourself small, to make the hurt small, too.
And fuck you for that, really. You don’t get to be nice, or understanding right now, not while he’s mad at you.
“I don’t think so,” he says, because he’s not going to give you the satisfaction. Fuck you, fuck you, he thinks.
“I’m going back downstairs,” you say, after a tense silence. ��See you down there?”
“Sure,” he says, and reaches to pour one more shot.
It’s the last thing he remembers at all.
–
When he wakes up, Taehyung is aware of three things right away:
One, he’s on a floor, not in a bed.
Two, his head is splitting into five thousand pieces, has already split into shards and now those shards are stabbing the inside of his head in choreographed pulses.
Three, he has definitely thrown up recently.
“Chim?” he croaks, trying not to sit up. “JayKay?”
There’s movement near his feet, and someone leans over him.
“I’ve died, right?” he asks, eyes closed.
There’s a quiet laugh, and then someone is pressing a cold water bottle into his hand.
“I can’t drink this,” Taehyung groans, pressing his forehead into the cold tiles of what must be his bathroom floor. “I’ll - oh god, I’m gonna -.”
When he’s able to speak again, flushing the toilet and standing on shaky legs to rinse his mouth out in the sink, Jimin returns to the doorway, having left to give Taehyung a little privacy.
“How many times have I done that?” Taehyung asks, his voice coming out raspy.
“That was three,” Jimin says. “How do you feel now?”
Taehyung can’t even answer for a minute, he’s too busy dropping back to the floor, sweating palms pressing flat to the cold tile in a desperate attempt to get the room to hold still. “I think I’m really going to die,” he whines, eyes squeezed shut.
“Try and sleep a little more,” Jimin suggests.
“God, I can’t, the room is -.”
“Just lay there and breathe slowly, okay? I’ll check on you in a few hours if I don’t hear you, see if you can drink water by then.”
Taehyung does as Jimin says, keeps his eyes closed, focuses on the solid tile under his palms, under his forehead. The room spins around him, around and up, around and down, around and around and around. He breathes through his mouth.
Eventually, he must drift back off.
When he wakes up a second time, there’s a little bit of light coming through the cracked bathroom window, that unique pre-dawn blue. Trying to breathe slowly, Taehyung sits up, trying to assess the damage.
He could definitely throw up again, and probably will, but the room isn’t spinning anymore. Opening his eyes doesn’t feel like torture. His head is still pulsing with that headache, and his adrenaline surges every time he tries to move. But if he holds very still, it’s better than it was before.
Just hold still, that’s the goal. Play dead.
He lays back down, this time reaching up and pulling down a towel to use as a pillow. He doesn’t feel the need to cling to the floor this time.
After a while, he hears a phone vibrate out in his bedroom, and a few minutes later Jimin shuffles to the door again, yawning.
“You good?” he asks, when he sees that Taehyung’s eyes are open now.
“Better than before,” Taehyung says quietly. “The spins are gone. My head’s killing me though, and I am not confident that leaving this spot is a good idea.”
Jimin chuckles lightly. “You think you can keep down some water?”
“Not sure,” Taehyung admits, “but I should probably try, right?”
Jimin passes him the water bottle that’s been sitting by the sink and rummages in the medicine cabinet for some painkillers. As Taehyung rearranges himself into a position where he can take the pills and drink the water without spilling, Jimin sits on the edge of the bathtub.
“Do you feel well enough for me to lecture you a little?” he asks seriously.
“Oh god,” Taehyung says, stomach sinking, which triggers his nausea again. He presses a hand to his face. “What did I do? I didn’t throw up on anybody, did I?”
Jimin shakes his head. “Nothing like that. Just… I don’t want to see you make a habit of this, Tae. I’m not going to babysit you every weekend while you wreck your liver, okay?”
Taehyung feels guilty instantly. “Yeah, I got it,” he murmurs. And then, somewhere between defensive and petulant, he adds, “I told you not to invite her. I would’ve been fine if…”
If she hadn’t been there.
Jimin tuts. “Speaking of which… you were not nice to her. She’s the one who found you basically passed out on the floor, and you definitely upset her.”
The tug of guilt and embarrassment sends Taehyung scrambling for the toilet again, and Jimin moves nimbly out to the bedroom again until the coast is clear.
“Shit,” Taehyung mutters after gargling some mouthwash. “I was where? What’d I say to her?”
Taehyung listens to Jimin explain what had happened after he’d blacked out the night before as he settles himself back on the floor.
“She found you on the floor,” Jimin says seriously. “She texted me to come help.”
“Jesus,” Taehyung muttered, burning with embarrassment. “Sorry, bro. I didn’t… I didn’t do this on purpose. I was just…” He trails off, but they both know.
“Then you told me - right in front of her - to make her go away,” Jimin continues. “You literally said the words I don’t want her here.”
“Fuck,” Taehyung mumbles. “She heard that?”
Jimin softens, just a touch. “I think she understood,” he allows. “But even so… it probably hurt anyway.”
“I’ll apologize,” Taehyung promises, not sure who he’s promising.
When the sun is fully up and it’s clear that Taehuyng isn’t going to choke on any bodily fluids and die, Jimin gathers his things and gets ready to leave.
“Jungkook’s out on your couch, maybe he’ll make you breakfast later,” Jimin muses. “You good in there for a little bit?”
Taehyung considers his set-up: he’s got his phone fully charged, a towel-pillow, and a water bottle. For now, that’s all he needs, aside from proximity to his porcelain jailor.
“Yeah,” he says. “Thanks, Chim.”
Alone in his bathroom, Taehyung’s stomach churns - and not from the hangover, from guilt. He shouldn’t have upset you, he shouldn’t have lashed out at you. He opens his phone and pulls up a new text. It takes him a long time, a lot of typing and erasing, but finally he sends you -
[8:54 am] Taehyung: hey
[8:55 am] Taehyung: i have been informed that i may have hurt your feelings last night
[8:59 am] Taehyung: so… i’m sorry if i hurt your feelings. I’m also sorry for getting out of control. I guess i owe you a thank you for getting me out of there
[9:01 am] Taehyung: if it makes you feel any better… karma is kicking my ass this morning… currently on my bathroom floor and i don’t see myself moving anytime soon…
When he finally braves sitting up, he checks his phone. After he successfully showers and changes into clean sweatpants, he checks his phone. After Jungkook brings him greasy food to eat in his bed, he checks his phone.
He waits for you to answer, waits for you to forgive him, waits for you to absolve him, waits for you to commiserate.
You never do.
Thank you for being here! You can find my full masterlist here :)
#daechwitatamic drabbles#complete faith fic#taehyung x reader#taehyung drabble#taehyung angst#bts x reader
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Extraordinary Attorney Woo Ep 7: SCREAMING THE ENTIRE EP FOR MANY DIFFERENT REASONS
My God was that a rollercoaster??? Let me number my thoughts while I’m at it:
(Once again, from someone on the spectrum)
1. It started off sweet and emotional about the townspeople and their togetherness, and I found myself smiling seeing Myung-seok so passionately agree to take the case on after seeing Youngwoo and Sooyeon so passionate last week. Funny little human things, when you care you put 110% of your efforts in no matter who you are.
2. Youngwoo slipping looked like it HURT oh wow, and I’m glad Junho noticed and was kind enough to give her his jacket to cover the rip on her clothes (literally had the biggest smile on my face). Youngwoo really would’ve been fine, Junho just likes her and wants her to have nice things (even if he was completely awkward with her before this interaction, he’s constipated in his own mushy feelings) and you know what? Valid! I’m honestly so glad there’s a natural relationship progression between them – that he’s mushy and awkward about his feelings in the first place toward Youngwoo. Finally we are pined over and loved!!! I’ve never wanted two kdrama leads to be together as much as I want these two.
3. The conversation Sooyeon had with Junho gave me… mixed feelings tbh. On one hand I think this was Sooyeon’s frustrated way in accepting Junho does not like her in the same way she very much likes him, that he should just be clear and tell Youngwoo he likes her to make things better for everyone involved (considering this was also after Sooyeon got frustrated at Youngwoo for thinking it’s hard to like her because she’s autistic, which she thought was bullshit considering Youngwoo’s great and she’s watching her own crush like Youngwoo in real time) but on the other hand… the beginning did make me raise an eyebrow. “Don’t do this now if you’re not going to do it for a long time, because I got exhausted when I thought it was fine at first” — alright, but Junho already established boundaries with Youngwoo. They enjoy lunch together and talk about whales, it’s whale talk time, which Junho also has prior knowledge in and genuinely wants to hear about. Youngwoo is a person who will talk about whales when she wants to talk about whales, but she’s not an asshole. It’s very clearly easy for her to respect boundaries. If you established boundaries with her then maybe she wouldn’t have spoken about them to you after your test? Or did you not establish those boundaries because you pitied her and thought “she’s autistic, I can’t do that” ?
(want to put a disclaimer here that I’m not hating Sooyeon, just saying how that part of the conversation hit me. I’m glad she’s there to stand up for Youngwoo when she isn’t around, even happier she took Minwoo’s unwashed butt out of Junho’s car seat. But it’s nice to see her as a character that’s actively trying as a friend in Youngwoo’s life, even if she does raise eyebrows sometimes.)
4. I need Minwoo to be hit by a bus. Preferably with Geurami driving it. This one also has mixed feelings. I feel Minwoo and Sooyeon are opposites, where Sooyeon sometimes undermines Youngwoo because of her autism, Minwoo feels threatened because he thinks she receives special treatment for it. He’s definitely ableist, like I won’t even bother arguing that, but I do think it’s interesting seeing people argue he isn’t. Minwoo as a character is meant to represent casual ableism — very much what we experience everyday in the working world. The drama obviously is using cinematography to make us hate him, yet so many people are questioning why because we can also, thanks to the writing, understand the fundamentals of his points. If you see everything in black and white (not recommended, it’s actually very damaging sometimes) Youngwoo got in through nepotism and nepotism’s bad. If you see the world as it is, in the myriad of colours where everything is subjective, Youngwoo got in through her skills she has shown for the past 7 episodes and faced discrimination not being accepted to every other firm, and Minwoo is just salty she’s showing him up while all he did in that firm was kiss every client’s ass in the cases he handled.
5. TAE SOO-MI IS YOUNGWOO’S MOTHER CONFIRMED!! After the little hints in last week’s episodes I feel she may explicitly introduce autistic masking to the drama, fingers crossed I’m so excited to see how that plays out. On another note, I think the dad might be too paranoid about the law firm’s intentions with Youngwoo. We may be proven wrong, but I don’t think Seon-young was that conniving, and the dad might just be viewing the world through a parent’s lens of “everyone wants to take advantage of my child”. I feel this can be true for most parents with autistic children, more so for parents who are allistic themselves. The world is full of things that can hurt Youngwoo, people will disregard her and take advantage of her, but she has the right to make the decision on whether she wants to experience that. The wrong is on the people doing it to her — why must she be a pawn in her own life? A chess piece whose moves are decided by other people? She has a right to feel upset at the end, and I’m glad she is.
6. Saved this for last because OH MY GOD…. That scene with Junho and Youngwoo, I’ve never kicked my feet and squealed so much at a kdrama scene before. Youngwoo asking him for consent to touch him to see if she likes him was the sweetest thing ever, consent is so sexy. Without her asking consent Junho would’ve been constipated in his feelings for another week or so, thank you Youngwoo. Junho’s finally flirting!!!!!!! She closed her eyes they were going to kiss AND THEN IT CUT AWAY! Inject this scene into my veins because I will not be getting over his “that’s disappointing” anytime soon.
Absolute rollercoaster istg.
#extraordinary attorney woo#extraordinary attorney woo episode 7#woo young woo#lee junho#they’re the only couple I respect#autism#actually autistic#kdrama
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that's a relief... ive encountered a lot of "purists" for lack of better term who dont accept fictionkin as valid identities. ive never actually watched the owl house, ive only seen clips, but i love the design of the collector! he looks so whimsical and cool. i think my biggest fictionkin identities are grian from hermitcraft and sundrop + moondrop from fnaf sb. ive really only known about my otherkin identities for two years now, so i still have a lot of learning and exploring to do
-👑🥀
i know, those guys aren’t nice either… don’t they know that the original otherkin were fictionkin? that the ‘other’ in otherkin doesn’t mean ‘other from human’, but in fact means ‘other from elf’?? because the original kinfolk were lotr elves and the term otherkin was made to separate early kin from the ones who weren’t lotr elves???? (this is all 100% true by the way LMAO)
it was only last year or so that i actually found myself with non-fiction identities; trust me, i’ve known i was ‘kin for almost 11 years though, but i was fictionkin from the very start and always will be. my first kintype was, collectively as the same thing, the lake trio from pokemon! the pink link in my pinned post can tell you more about my kintypes if you want!
like i said as long as they’re actual otherkin and not people just picking up trendy words for fun and they understand nonhumanity, i love all fictionkin verrrry very much :3
my identity as the collector is barely a year old by now (i got into toh a bit late…) but it affects me so much!! like, genuinely crazily so. it causes me more genuine emotional anguish than kintypes i have that had grisly ends that i can very much recall, and i’ve never had more stress dreams about a kintype than i have with the collector, which are always fun mixes of ‘yay i’m me again and i have my cool powers and i feel good and right and at home’ and ‘oh no none of the people i consider my collector friends actually like me’ which is soooo fun,
i don’t rlly know anything about hermit craft nor fnaf sb but they still sound very neat and i’m glad to know you’ve gone through those journeys of discovery, i hope the knowledge of yourself makes you feel good and comfortable, even if just a bit!!! if you ever have any questions my friend i’m always happy to do my best and answer things <3
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𝐍𝐎. 𝟏𝟓: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥 / MATLAL VILLAGE, NAKAWE, 1935
❧ 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 / 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.
For several weeks, Beatriz had not seen Salvatore. It produced a strange disappointment, one simultaneously sudden and creeping. Enthusiasm built up as each lazy afternoon and bright Saturday morning approached; she hurried down the hill in hopes of finding her friend awaiting, but she also came to realize those hopes were fading. In their place was something akin to fear—worry, anxiety, dreadful agitation—which gripped her as she walked the dirt road into this beloved low, green place. Since their move to the estate, Beatriz had relished the sight of its emptiness. That emptiness now came to feel more like loneliness. For someone who had never conceived of being alone as a disquieting experience (at least, not since her baby days), this new sense was troubling. What troubled her more was the fact that she had seemingly lost grip of, not only a friend, but the pleasure of her own company. ‘They were right,’ she thought these days as she sat in the grass, the wind ruffling her hair, left with one remaining confidante—a diary—in her lap. The faces of her parents personified the chiding in her mind. ‘Kids are supposed to have friends. You spend too much time alone.’ Mixed emotions churred in her, and she lacked the capacity to understand or resolve them. She simply longed for the comfort of detachment. These contradictory longings, for friendship and for having never known it at all, were bitter and little sweet. It was for the best, ultimately, when she did see Salvatore again.
If she must feel so strongly, then she would rather the hurt feelings smolder into resentment.
TRANSCRIPT:
[B] Can we buy some candies?
[R] If you won’t tell your papa about it.
[B] Can we buy them first?
[R] Let’s take our time and wander. Who knows what we’ll find!
[B] It’s the same every weekend, mother.
[R] {Chuckles.} That’s because you only pay attention to the candy.
[R] Even the winter produce is delightful, and the knitting—! A new scarf for me, and a bag of candy for you, how’s that?
[R] Or, some of this stinky fish for you instead?
{Beatriz, pretending to gag.}
[R] The melodrama!
[B] Sal ...?
[B] Sal!
[R] Beatriz! Where are you going?
[B] Sal, wait!
[S] Hi, Bea.
[B] Sorry for chasing you.
[S] It’s okay.
[B] I missed you! I’m glad you’re here.
[S] Yeah ... Sorry.
[B] It’s okay.
[B] When can we play again? It’s been weeks!
[S] I’ve been busy—with my father and all.
[B] Oh. I remember.
[B] But, soon, right?
[S] I don’t know, Bea.
[B] I just have fun with you, is all, but I can wait.
[S] No. It’s more complicated.
[B] How do you mean?
[S] {Sighs.} I can’t play with you anymore. I’m not allowed to.
[B] What? Don’t say that.
[S] I’m sorry. My father... I just can’t play with you.
[B] How busy could you be? You’re a kid. Maybe I could ask him?
[S] No! I mean, that would be a bad idea.
[B] I don’t understand.
[S] We can’t be friends, Bea.
[B] Why not? We are friends!
[S] My father said ... I can’t be friends with someone like you.
[B] Someone like me?
[S] A princess. A Reyes. It’s not “appropriate.” I don’t know why.
[S] Wait, Bea—
[B] Don’t touch me.
[B] I’m a princess, not your friend, remember?
[R] What happened? Who is that boy? Beatriz!
[R] Do you want to talk about it, birdie?
{Beatriz grumbles.}
#;long post#ts4 story#ts4 legacy#ts4 royalty#ts4 historical#sims 4 story#sims 4 legacy#sims 4 royalty#sims 4 historical#ts4 royal legacy#ts4 royal family#royal sims#sims 4 history#sims 4 royal story#sims 4 royal legacy#reyes.story.post
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Hi! This is Ani again. Just wanted to let you know that your reading was literally SO accurate. Istg you’re living my life
I’m gonna admit, I was expecting something much more negative. I usually expect negative things, which isn’t good, but that make the good things all the more exciting. This whole thing was also kind of new since this was my first intuition reading. My previous ask was also my first ask ever on tumblr so I was kind of nervous as well. It felt like I was writing an email lolol
But I’m so happy that I did do it because, you were right, I did kinda feel like I’ve been grazing rock bottom. I had this weird mixed feeling of being close to the void but also never getting in and holding both those feelings kind of drained me, on top of being burned out from school. This is the first time in a while where I’ve been truly excited for something.
Something that I recommend people do is something I did earlier this month, where I basically manifested seeing angel numbers and using their meanings as guidance on my void journey. I kept getting a lot of 444’s and 777’s which apparently both are related to seeking guidance from angels or something. I didn’t really know how to do that so I assumed that maybe I had to reach out to someone on tumblr, but even then I didn’t know who to ask. I didn’t even know what I should be asking. But this was really helpful and honestly, is making me so excited for my REAL new life instead of a daydream.
Also another thing is, I am a shifter! Or I’m planning to be one, anyway. The life I’m going to shift to from this one will be similar to my current one but better. But all my other realities after that, are pretty much going to be a totally different life with different people, like you said.
Also, can we talk about how in literally the beginning of the post I was called out in so many ways, like “Repressed emotions + feeling left out” 😭✋ Chill out man I can’t afford therapy rn ok?? Lolll all jokes aside though you are right, and I don’t really talk about what I’m feeling. I do think I am also very disconnected from people. I have a wide variety of interests so I can be part of multiple friend groups at the same time, which is why I feel so lonely, because I am never in one deeply enough to find true connections. I have a feeling I know who my new group of people are though!
Over all though, I am so excited to enter void. I have always known that I will, but it was just up to me to decide when. I’ve been putting in extra effort and I’m glad to see it’s paying off. And most of all, I’m excited to shift and be whatever I want to be! I don’t think anyone would be really, truly free until they experienced shifting, but then again, this is coming from someone who has never consciously shifted before (but I’m sure that’s still true).
Anyways, sorry this was so long, I think I kind of just went on a tangent with this one haha 😅 But fr tho, I can’t thank you enough for this, this has really helped me and re-inspired me a lot. I think everyone should give your intuition readings a try because it’s never bad to ask for help and advice, regardless of where you are in your void journey. This is also a great source of positivity for people who may feel stuck in their journey.
(Btw, I love how you complimented everyone in your response to the reading asks, it’s literally so sweet 🥹)
Thank you again for the reading! ♥️
OMG AAHHHH IM SO HAPPY WAIT
i literally read this whole thing during my lunch period and it made me so happy n smily (my friends probs think i have a new bf or something but no 😭😭 it’s this insane!!)
during my time in this earth, both before and after I shift i strive to be a guide. i want to help others reach their goals and get better in this life. every time i feel as if i help others, it brings new light and energy to my spirit. <3
im so glad i have you some hope and motivation, and i REALLY hope u get the help u need sometime!! i know financial issues r a real hinderance w mental health n to genuinely drives me insane 💀💀💀
i love u sm!!! i’m glad it helped!!
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One helluva reunion. ( j.m. & e.k. )
pairing: jon x eddie
warnings: m/m, sexual situations, thigh riding, choking ( really just eddie's hand around his throat, not so much actual choking )
type: one shot
words: 1,764
summary: Jon and Eddie see each other again after ten years apart.
a/n: So this is my first time writing Eddie in anyway and even though it's mostly taken from the promo inspiring this, I think I like this a lot. hope you all enjoy! this originally wasn't gonna end how it did, but I'm glad it went that way. let me know if I should write more Jon/Eddie.
Jon was ecstatic when he’d heard his long-time friend Kingston had been given an AEW contract. What he wasn’t excited about was facing off against said friend.
Back when they were younger, Jon being the little shit he was back then, Eddie had secretly taken him under his wing when no one was looking.
It being over ten years ago, deep down he still had those feelings he’d developed about the older man. Whether or not Kingston felt the same way now, would be wrong. Or so he thought.
Jon’s face was stoic as he made his way down through the empty arena. Heading towards the one man, hell, probably the only man he really didn’t feel like fighting.
The walk was antagonizing and heavy. All the responses to anything Kingston might say sitting on the tip of his tongue.
Mox could see Eddie from his peripherals as he climbed into the ring. Kingston was egging him and he knew that, fortunately for Eddie; TK made this segment no physicality.
“Get out of the ring! Cut his music, cut his music! Schiavone, get out of the ring!”
Resisting the urge to climb right back out, the anxiety starts in Jon’s feet as Kingston gets right into his face. The skin on skin contact was a bit of a shock and he had to try real hard not to look at Eddie’s lips.
Jon’s ears stopped ringing and he could barely clear the words Eddie was saying to him. Having mastered his poker face, Moxley just stood there, clutching the title over his shoulder. The only tell of any emotion was how hard he was gripping it.
“--- saturday, you understand that? On the seventh I’m gonna ruin you, and I’m gonna take that championship. I'm gonna hand it to my mother and I’m gonna tell her ‘ ma, the reason why you don’t have grandchildren is because of this! The reason I didn’t give you a daughter or a son in law, is because of this! Because this is all that matters in our sport.”
All Moxley could do was stare into the older man’s eyes, face void. He didn’t think this was how their reunion was gonna go. Each bump of their noses together made Jon feel like the other actually wanted to kiss him.
Despite the anger behind his words. He was always able to read between the lines during promos, but Eddie was putting off serious mixed signals. It was hard for him this time to really see.
“It’s too late for me Jon, you ain’t saving nobody. An’ I’m taking that championship from you.”
Just as Kingston was finishing his rant, Mox reached down and gripped the mic. The two men locked eyes as Jon attempted to raise the mic between them.
He could feel the power struggle for the object before Eddie reluctantly let Jon have it, tossing his hands into the air.
The subject of friends and the art of trying to make them was never Mox’s forte. When Eddie made the violin gesture with his fingers, his armor chipped a little.
“I was so happy for you man, I was so happy for you when you signed a contract- shut up, I’m trying to tell you-”
“I don’t care! I. Don’t. Care!”
No matter how many times Kingston interrupted him, Jon kept on speaking, pushing back every time Eddie bumped against him. He just didn’t understand, did he? Moxley did the only thing he knew. It was time to fight.
“I was so happy for you. I was happy for your mother. Whose dream it was- yeah, your mother Ruthie. Whose kitchen table I sat at. Who I said grace with! Who I made a promise to. That I would look after you! That I would always have your back. No matter what trouble you caught for yourself, I made that promise to her. And. . . I guess I broke that promise didn’t I?”
The whole energy changed right there. Eddie had turned his back on Mox amidst his rant. Jon walked up against his back, his lips almost level with Kingston’s ear. The elder had a good few inches on him at least. Jon felt like his body was betraying him the longer he stood against him.
“See, I believe the loudest one in the room, is the weakest one in the room. And you’ve been real loud lately Eddie. Why is that? That’s not you, you’re not weak. So what’s going on up here-”
The small crowd of wrestlers in the seats applauded him as he barely tapped the side of Eddie’s temple. It almost made him want to stop right there.
He so wished no one was even seeing this right now. Acting wasn’t a good fit for him, so hopefully no one could tell what was really going on behind the words these two men were speaking to each other.
“-I think I know what it is. After eighteen years you finally get your shot this saturday. You get your shot. The shot you never thought you would get. Deep down in your heart you know, deep down in your heart you know you’re gonna be in the ring with the AEW world champion. The best wrestler on this planet right now, and you’re gonna lose.
So it is a scary thought, I get it. After eighteen years it turns out, you didn’t deserve it after all. The worst part of this Eddie, the worst part that makes me sick, that puts my stomach in knots; You made a promise, you made a promise to your mother that you. can’t. keep!”
The arena echoed with how loud Moxley’s voice was. The ring thrummed with their movements. Now it was his turn to do the instigating.
Everything that Jon was saying without the microphone was the most important to Kingston and Kingston only. To the AEW galaxy, he looked angry and tense. This tense had a whole other meaning behind it.
After Eddie left the ring, Jon tried to hurry the segment along.
He knew what was gonna happen the minute he made it back to his locker room. He was in for a surprise. Jon ended the segment by kneeling in the center of the ring, shaking his head.
Boy oh boy did he try his best not to interact with anyone on his way back. He only accepted a bottle of water from a stagehand.
He tossed the cap away as he practically chugged it the whole way back to his locker room. His brow furrowed, crunching the empty bottle. Why did it have to come to such lows? Jon knew he’d receive a worried call from Eddie’s mom.
Mox sighed as he entered his room, kicking the door closed behind him. Maybe he was just paranoid about the idea of Kingston waiting for him.
A smile crept onto his lips though. They knew each other way too well for Jon to ignore his gut.
He draped the title over his duffle bag before shrugging off his jacket. He headed over to the bathroom, kicking off his shoes before entering. Mox didn’t even flip the light on before a hand reached out and yanked him into the darkness.
“King, wait ple-”Jon groaned out when Eddie slammed him back against the door by his throat. He reached up, digging his nails into his forearm. He felt Eddie press against him, his eyes struggling to make out his face in the dark.
Jon gave up fighting the other’s hold, arms falling limp at his sides. His chest heaved, all of the sudden he felt the presence of lips near his own. “You just had to bring up my Ma huh?” Eddie growled out, slamming his lips against Moxley’s.
All the tension had left Mox’s body the second their lips touched. He gripped the sides of Eddie’s tank top, keeping the older man’s body against his.
Kingston squeezed his hand once around his neck before breaking the kiss, pressing his forehead against Jon’s. Their eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and all the two men could do was stand there, staring at each other.
“It was the only way I could get you to listen.”
Jon swallowed, feeling his adam’s apple bob against his hand. He felt bad about bringing in the one person he knew Eddie didn’t want to disappoint.
The bathroom had gotten hot at this point. Which didn’t help the way Jon’s body was reacting to the kiss and Eddie’s hand around his throat. “Well I’m listening now, an I know what I wanna be listening to right now.”
Kingston pushed his thigh up in between Jon’s legs, making the trapped man moan under his breath. He couldn't believe this was happening. “King, please.” He sighed out when Eddie started grinding up into his crotch slowly.
“Move.” The elder growled against his ear. Moxley didn’t need to be told twice as he started grinding down on Eddie’s thigh.
The friction of their jeans rubbing against his cock made him moan more consistently. He’d picked the wrong day to go commando.
“At least I know that you know how to listen.” Eddie mumbled against Mox’s neck, sucking at the skin. Jon wrapped his arms around his neck, head falling back against the door.
He worked harder, crying out when Kingston suddenly began grinding his knee up and in time with every jerk of his hips.
They were holding onto each other like their lives depended on it. He could feel Eddie’s big hands on his lower back, helping him edge closer to his climax.
Jon gasped, letting Kingston hold him up as he came in his jeans.
His body jerked with aftershocks, scratching against the back of Eddie’s neck as he came down from his high. “That’s it, such a good boy.” King rasped as he connected their lips.
Mox whimpered into the kiss as the knee between his legs disappeared slowly. It took a second to gather his strength before they broke apart fully.
“Don’t ever bring my family into our personal business again, understand?” Eddie questioned, making sure Jon was staring into his eyes.
All he could do was nod. “Looks like you made a mess on my jeans. Figured you’d wait a little longer before making me have to punish you again. . .” Jon groaned loudly as Eddie reached into his jeans and wrapped his hand around his messy cock.
“Jesus Christ King. . .uh. . .”
This was going to be a wild feud, especially if each altercation ended like this one had.
fin.
#jon moxley#eddie kingston#jon x eddie#aew#eddie x jon#jon moxley x eddie kingston#eddie kingston x jon moxley#m/m#fanfic#moxeddie
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Go on, what are your thoughts about the bear? :)
I’m so glad you asked friend! Get ready I have feelings! Gonna be a read more cause it’s long
-settle in kids moon has a lot to discuss- we’ll start with characters:
Richie sucks, always. Why does he have to be a lil bitch about EVERYTHING like bro, we get it, your like 45, divorced, wife took the kid, your best friend blew his brains out, you hate change like the boomer you are. But like bro, taking it out on Carmy who didn’t ask to be given the restaurant in the first place? Not gonna fix it. Taking it out on Sydney, a young chef just doing her best? Doesn’t fix anything. You crying like a bitch? Doesn’t help. Selling coke? Out of the alley? Behind the restaurant? Sorry are you saying that’s the only way the beef made it through covid? Was…being a back door drug den? Okay. Okay. Yeah no one saw Micheal was a drug addict when that was his solution to fix things?
Tina, grew on me, she did, I like her, would trust her to cook everything. Actual tia of the restaurant and if anyone hurt her kitchen family you know she would be kicking peoples ass. Did irk me a bit at the start but like she learned and grew. Something A LOT OF OTHERS COULD LEARN FROM RICHIE! She even said, ‘I’ve learned more in the last two months then I ever did before’ like. Micheal was great apparently but, was he really? Tina is just love her, trust her with all my food and my life.
Ebras, I like him. He’s cool. Didn’t learn much about him but like 10/10 comic relief when we need it.
Fak, played beautifully by Matty matthaison, an actual chef and one of the producers and chef like directors of the show like Jeremy Allen white said ‘I told Matty or coco to like stop a scene if I did anything that wouldn’t be done in a real chef kitchen’ so the fact he’s playing a Jack of all trades repair man who wants to be a cook, is 10/10, he’s just another comic relief we need. I love him
Misc. crew: I like them. Didn’t learn much about them but they are key to being background and immersive elements.
Sugar, I want to learn more about her but so far standard big sister, bit over bearing in a way that I get. And also the fact her and Carmy are the ‘let’s fight to express emotions’ type of siblings is just -chefs kiss-
Pete, a bitch. Like look at him.
Cicero, so he def works in like shady shit right? Mob? Mafia? Drug dealing? Like that’s what they were like putting out right? But also why did he lend 300k to Michael? Like he knew something wasn’t right like come on. Come oooonnnn.
NOW! MY BABIES, MY PRIDE AND JOYS.
Sydney, an angel sent on high to help Carmy in the perfect way. Without babying him and not taking any shit. She is just, I would die for her, I would kill for her. Also she has my patience level of ‘but like why can’t I do it now? Like why can’t I just do it and show you it works?’ Like me and her I get it. Just the perfect partner for Carmy, like I ship her and Marcus so hard.
Marcus, an angel of a man, I would die to try his desserts, he just, he’s friend shaped guys, he’s friend shaped. Him and Sydney would be the like cutest couple. Like, I can’t explain it. Also him wanting to learn and be able to do what Carmy did with desserts like, Marcus is just I love him so much. Okay he’s the calm comfort the show needs. Also babes when the machine starts smoking? Turn it off, that’s all you can do. Also his and Carmys bonding moment like “you blew a fuse I almost burned down a restaurant the night after I was food and wines number 1, so shit happens. And you’ll fuck up again it’s fine”
CARMY ‘MY BABY’ BERZATTO, needs therapy, like extreme therapy. Needs to understand that how he was taught was abuse, the chefs he worked under, abused him and every other staff member, that’s not what he needs to keep teaching. And hopefully he realised that when Sydney and Marcus walked out because after a point you can only scream at someone so much. Now, man is just this beautiful mix of trying his best, and trying to work and fix everything around him but not being able to understand why his brother was doing the things he was and what happened in the years before that shifted everything. The fact he only went to culinary school and became one of the best of the best was to say ‘fuck you I can do what you do but a million times better in the eyes of the world’ like, Carmy is someone who has a system that he needs to keep his brain sane, but he also won’t accept anyone else trying to help fix and change that system to work and flow better as Sydney said like ‘I told you this would t work, you didn’t listen, it blew up in my face because you left’ like Carmy knows he can make the beef now the bear into something, amazing. But he just doesn’t have the tools to do it. Tools Sydney has inside her but doesn’t want to wait and slowly bring them out because as her old bosses said ‘your incredibly impatient and very green’ like. Ugh I love them.
Now over all, amazing show my god it’s fast paced and quick cut, and it shows what it needs to get the point across, it gives you enough in a scene for you to get the story with out it being spoon fed to you. You don’t need someone to say “Carmy it’s been 2 months since we started this system it’s not working” because it gave you the story beats that you need to understand time is passing by. Like the first episode Richie says carmys been in charge for 2 weeks and everything’s going to hell. So you get that time has passed, then it’s an offhand of ‘4 months ago Michael shot himself’ so you get the timeline but not in a spoon feed you way.
The show is good. It’s amazing. I can not wait for season 2. Where we see Carmy and Sydney make the bear into, something amazing. Or start to. Where Sydney starts learning patience, where Carmy maybe opens up more and realises the ways he and Sydney were abused and beat down in a kitchen doesn’t need to be the way things work in the bear.
I just. I can’t explain how much I love Carmy enough. Or Sydney or the whole show it’s. Good.
Bad if you have anxiety and have worked in a place like a kitchen or even retail like when I tell you episode 7 had me feeling like both Carmy and Sydney, from when I worked in pick up at target during holidays. My god
Yes 10/10 love it, want it always, give me season 2 like right now.
#the bear#the bear hulu#sydney the bear#Sydney#ayo edebiri#jeremy allen white#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto#richie jerimovich#tina the bear#ebras the bear#fak the bear#amazing#anon#ask
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