you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

when i put the hashtag "actually autistic" im not excluding people who are undiagnosed. diagnosis is hard, if not impossible to get as a teenager or adult. when i say actually autistic i mean im an autistic person living my daily life being autistic, im not some facebook "autism mum" with an autistic son acting like they know better than actually autistic people. i can fully understand why someone might not be able to or maybe not even be looking to get a diagnosis. the process is dificult at best, ESPECIALlY if youre an adult.

autism memes made by neurotypicals: you say i'm autistic, i say i'm AUSOME! 😋🥰🙏 autism memes made by autistic people: the sun is too loud and it takes me three hours to get out of bed.

I work at a movie theater.

And personally? To be in the tickets booth, and see young girls, teenagers, adult women, coming in to see Barbie,

the most highlighter pink outfits, some of them coming in with the dolls they’re dressed as, laughing to each other, cheering for each other,

to see the men they’re coming to see it with, dressed in pink, cheering them on, taking their pictures with smiles and cheers in the lobby at the photo op

touches something so deep in me

I can’t say any nuances of the movie that haven’t already been said, but like, fuck man, love is so deep and so kind and to be able to see glimpses of it from behind my little ticket desk makes me a little less nihilistic.

Young trans people, I want you to know there is a place for you in STEM.

You are welcome in STEM.

There are trans people in STEM (hi!).

There are trans allies in STEM.

There are trans-friendly and trans-supportive initiatives (I attended a trans maths conference this year).

It may not always be easy but there is a place for you.

You can make it in STEM if you want to.

A moment of light during the siege

i am plagued by silly character loving thoughts

"a joy to have in class" aka This Child Will Not Be Diagnosed for at least Eight Years

kids lose stuff easily, don’t they?

Nexflix's subtitle was "cats sometimes make owners lonely" but what junho really said was not "owner". it was "butler". I don't know about other country but in korea, cat "owners" jokingly call themselves 'butler' who work for their master, their cats. I think nuance is important. Junho would never imply that he is the owner of cat, (our youngwoo), or he wears the pants in this relationship. I would like people to know that he called himself a butler not an owner.

KEY 키 ‘Gasoline’ Preview

i hate you private jets i hate you bitcoin i hate you cars that go 200 mph i hate you golf parks i hate you yachts i hate you huge mansions with a pool i hate you luxery resorts i hate you exessive wealth causally killing the planet and using up ressources we all need

KEY The 2nd Album 〖Gasoline〗 Teaser Poster ➫ 2022.08.30. 6PM (KST)

Attorney Jang is who Minwoo would’ve grown to be if he did not meet Attorney Jung, Sooyeon and Youngwoo lol

Extraordinary Attorney Woo Ep 14: Well.

So I’m back? There was an unauthorised login to my account so I’ve avoided posting here ever since, idk if anything’s resolved? But I decided to just post this since I haven’t shared my thoughts in a while. And wow do I have a lot jumbled in my head right now. Let me just type and see how this goes (once again, from someone on the spectrum).

Firstly, I do think the show is changing direction. What started off with myself as an autistic audience connecting with Youngwoo, because she expresses how she feels, is now turning into a Youngwoo who is being shut out. I feel like the show is not focusing on how she feels and experiences things anymore, especially in episodes 13-14, and is just displaying her as a spectator to things that happen to her.

The Youngwoo I got used to, who I adore from the beginning, is one to give Junho the reason why she wants to break up. She will think of him, she will not want to hurt him, and she will communicate her feelings to him as she has done in the past. I’m not mad at Junho, he’s visibly upset and startled and confused and anyone says anything when they’re experiencing those emotions. This is the most rattled we’ve ever seen Junho, actually. Even when he’s drunk and punching people in bars, he’s sure of himself. This time he looked completely lost and, just, sad. What annoyed me, though, was Youngwoo written to just walk away. He asks and she answers, she asks and he answers, that is how their relationship has always been. Of course this could have been done for the classic *kdrama affect* and they want you to suffer a little more before they get the characters together again, even if it’s out of character for Youngwoo, but I still think it’s flawed writing. Youngwoo can stay in character and they don’t have to get together. She can communicate how she felt and doesn’t have to accept when Junho insists she does make him happy. She can decide she needs to think, needs a break, and needs to discover how they feel when they are not together. That would have made me ache in all the right places, and that would still have Youngwoo express herself.

Arguments can be made the other way, of course. The show is about Youngwoo growing and navigating life, demanding her independence, and that growth isn’t always linear. Youngwoo not expressing herself as much as she used to in difficult emotional situations could be because unlike when she talks about her autism and the experiences she lived through for a while, she has not had time to process these ones. It’s her first relationship, and I myself have shut downs in these types of things, but Youngwoo isn’t known to have shut downs. Very possible for a real life scenario, but I still think it’s bad writing for a show, especially since it’s not shown to us in a way that says Youngwoo is feeling too much, confused and shutting these out. Instead we get… no insight at all into how she feels until secondary characters kind of force her to say it, which I don’t like. If Youngwoo is sad, show her sad. If she cries because of what Junho’s sister said, let her cry. The beginning of the show relied on the fact that she’s a relatable, loveable and heartfelt character. Park Eunbin is an outstanding actress. Autistic people cry. Autistic people worry about how they make others feel. Autistic people stress over making sense of their emotions. This would have been the perfect time to show all of this, in something so normal such as a relationship. This would have been the time both the allistic audience and the autistic audience relates to Youngwoo.

Instead, they make it the time the autistic audience kind of gets escorted to the back and it’s for the allistic audience to go “aww poor Youngwoo :(”. It’s episode 14, pitying time is long gone – it’s relating time. It’s love. Use better cinematography, use better scenes to display emotion, use better writing. This was great in the beginning, did they get slack because of the popularity of the show?

We also have no idea what Junho’s personality is like yet outside of being nice. Since they’ve gotten together we’ve just seen Junho and Youngwoo tackle things, mainly Junho helping Youngwoo out, but I would have loved a scene where Youngwoo asks Junho a lot of questions about himself (especially since she said she thinks about him as much as whales!! She’ll want to know everything!!) and have her make him smile by getting him this cute gift of something he told her he likes, or bringing up those things in their conversations sometimes, or anything really. Something along the lines of Youngwoo, without a question, really liking him more than just the drama showing Youngwoo going out of her comfort zone for him (which is quite significant in itself, but I think it would be nice to see Youngwoo in their relationship more than just her autistic traits). It would have been perfect with this thing of whether Youngwoo can make him happy, too, because we would’ve already seen her actively making him a smiley happy dude in all ways she can and the angst would just,,, take over your chest when the “am I someone who can make him happy?” line settles in, to us and Junho (if the writers were smart and had her communicate when he asked).

Another thing… suddenly Minwoo is a desirable, sweet guy for Sunshine Sooyeon? And they both awkwardly like each other? …God. This was obviously the “second leads get together” thing coupled with them being conventionally good looking enemy characters, but this is so dumb I wanted to see Sooyeon falling for sweet Chef Hairy and laugh at his dad jokes once!!! I wanted to see Geurami throw daggers at Minwoo while they were dating because he was mean to Youngwoo!!! Geurami aggressively getting a guy (however unworthy Minwoo is) and winning!! Minwoo stumbling after her however reluctantly!!! Sooyeon falling for the chef’s food and sincerity!!! What kind of writing is this, to randomly throw Sooyeon and Minwoo in as a couple after zero chemistry throughout the rest of the drama? The rest are so much more fun, oh my God.

Despite all of this, I still don’t really mind the show. It did get taken down from 5 stars to 3.8 in my head but I’m still enjoying it and waiting for next week’s episodes. I said in the beginning that I’m watching this show as I watch any other kdrama with neurotypical leads, because Youngwoo is more than an autistic character and this is a kdrama in nature, and so far it’s been true to that. This has all the great-in-the-beginning-but-sometimes-meh writing of every other kdrama I’ve seen. The amount of things that didn’t make sense (and annoyed me!) in Business Proposal and Weightlifting Fairy and Gangnam Beauty and What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim and pretty much all the lighthearted dramas – but they were still enjoyable dramas despite having their uhh moments, that’s kind of how I feel now.

(I’ve seen much more than those btw, pretty much all, but those are the lighthearted ones I can name at the top of my head.)

Overall, it’s a kdrama. 2521 had the worst writing of the year to me and it was still deemed one of the top dramas of the time (the number of complaints at the end would have got the show kicked off the air but it’s still here haha). If this were not a kdrama this writing would bother me much, much more, possibly be deal-breakers. But if I can handle the kdrama classics which rely on constant nonsensical tropes in the name of love or whatever weirdly traumatising angst for the viewer, I can deal with them failing with Youngwoo’s love and the other love interests for now. Maybe it’s a personal thing since I still want this show to do well. As an Asian it’s very huge that a show about a wonderful Asian autistic women is still so popular and loved, despite the writers making dumb decisions. Every k-pop idol out there is watching this and urging their fans to watch too, so many that I’ve lost count. Youngwoo’s and Geurami’s greeting song is viral in SK. Other famous k-actors are supporting this show every week. Extraordinary Attorney Woo is bigger than me. This show will affect me and how I am seen when I say I’m autistic, and at the very least I’m glad it’s making women with autism seen in a less bizarre, more adoring light. I have visibly noticed a small change since the drama aired. I like the change. I like the conversation. I want this to do well.

The tropes are as frustrating as dramas with neurotypical characters. To other Asians living in Asia I don’t think what I talked about would even be picked up as active downsides, just generic this is usually how these plots go. I have my complaints, which do disappoint me since I didn’t expect the change in direction, the change to what they show of Youngwoo, and they could’ve easily done other things that would’ve had better impact. But it’s not a deal-breaker for me either at this point in time. I do enjoy the show and want to watch it to completion, just to see my girl Youngwoo happy and thriving (with Geurami and Chef Hairy only, Youngwoo’s best squad since Day 1. The rest not invited to the party. Maybe Junho depending on what happens next, but no promises).

Fingers crossed the last 2 episodes next week go well!