#I fully plan to write it all down but i needed to vent how much it spiraled from “haha showmanship teacher” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thecutestmancardoorhookhand · 1 year

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New AU just dropped: Regency dreamling but it's less Jane Austen inspired aristocracy drama and more laughing gas fueled Romanticism at the Pneumatic Institution shenanigans

It started out as "I think Hob would have a flair for the theatrical and be a fun teacher" and "At some point Hob must have dabbled in science", which added up to "Hob would have loved hanging out with Davy, guy was famously Theatrical and very for spreading science knowledge" to "didn't he repeatedly refuse to die at the pneumatic institution even?" to "never forgetti this was the romantic chemist who was chums pals buddies bros with the romantic poets" to "Wait! kubla khan was written in a dream" (and admittedly, here a break was taken to look at the camera like i was in the office at the line "beware! beware! his flashing eyes, his floating hair!" near the end of the poem before Coleridge got interrupted by some mystery dude in the waking) to "Coleridge was one of the people who frequented the institution to get high on nitrous" to "Well what if they meet out of schedule completely on accident then"

And now we're 100+ pages deep in research over the brief but extremely passionate love affair that Chemistry and Literature had before tragically parting ways. Because sure, I do not need to be 100% historically accurate and pinpoint the exact date at which Hob freshly out of the slave trade and now active in the abolitionist movement might have met a Thomas Beddoes who was campaigning to stop the anti-freedom of speech "gagging bills", but every time a thought like "Nitrous oxide seems right up Delirium's alley, maybe she should be involved in this fic" i end up finding out that Davy hallucinated a young girl every 10 years since discovering the gas and I am compelled to pull even more from reality. Like finding out that Davy used to do dramatic storytelling at the White Hart Inn of his town when he was a teen (and in case you're curious from what we know of his lectures and letters it would not be unreasonable to picture him jumping off a chair to amuse his audience, or selling his soul for the boon of storytelling either.)

Expect me to never actually finish this, partly because all this pneumatic institution lore comes with the territory of being a chemistry clown that has to try and concentrate on non-creative work, and partly because now we're outlining "okay but what if lake district house. What's the 1810s equivalent of 'bruh.' for when the Corinthian finds Dream being moved by Frankenstein" instead of actually writing the original plan of "Hob does a science!" or the version it evolved into of "you know what's better than whatever the everloving fuck was going on in the pneumatic institution of bristol in late october 1799? Well that same mess, with all the nitrous inhaling and all the unconfirmed love affairs But add a particularly melancholy Dream of the Endless (recently reminded of his status as a father and as an entity who should not fall seriously in love with mortals) meddling and possibly casually sleeping his way into inspiring the first wave of absolute messy bitches we call romantic movement, a Dream of the Endless who immediately picks up his meeting with now-no-longer-a-slave-trader-but-a-prototype-NHS-research-assistant Hob Gadling from where they left off (that is to say: with intense eyefucking)"

#Do I get my “entire circus” diploma now for infodumping or do I get it when I release the Kekule draft?#Or maybe I'll end up infodumping some more #Like about that time Davy wrote a poem about the ghost of lord byron greeting aliens while riding a comet. A normal one to be sure #I fully plan to write it all down but i needed to vent how much it spiraled from “haha showmanship teacher”#nitrous.txt #A tag because I will be ranting again these are 1790s poets writing to and about each other we're talking about #“He has been endeared to me more than any other man by being a Thing of Hope to me(more far more than myself to my own self #in my most genial moments)”#is the mood and the level of intensity we need to continuously surpass lest they come across as just bros #dreamling

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my-writings-and-musings · 1 year

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Earthspark Frenzy, Ravage, and Laserbeak start to notice that Soundwave (Aka their dad) becoming a bit more…’friendly’ with their human ally (*wink wink*). One morning, after Soundwave and the human had gone away on an ‘mission’ and and just returned to their little base in the early hours of the morning when they though the cassettes would still be in recharge, but they thought wrong. Frenzy decides to be a little shit and asks, “So~ does that mean we can except a little brother or sister sometime soon?”

I wheezed out loud at this one and then started thinking about it and now I want to write this and a whole host of other Earthspark fics invoicing human/bot babies. Thank you very much for this anon, I've been waiting for a reason Hehehehehehe...

(Headcanon Note; I fully imagine bots can knock up humans with lil bot babies that grow into full size Cybertronians. Partly because I like the idea of the Allspark creating a species that can reproduce universally as some kind of all-life-is-connected thing, and also because I just prefer alien to human babies.)

Apologies for the tangent, now on with the story! I hope you enjoy, and if you like my writing style you can always commission me!

"Wassup?"

Hearing Frenzy's voice surprised you out of your light doze, and you snapped your head up to find the three Minis up and awake in the tiny "kitchen" you'd all set up in the main area of the bunker. Soundwave acknowledged his Cassetes with a nod, just as tired as you were after the mission that had dragged into the early morning hours. Seated atop his shoulders, you did the same, waving and trying not to yawn as you rubbed the sleep from your tired eyes.

"Morning, everyone..." you greeted as warmly as you could, grumbling stomach reminding you why you hadn't asked to head straight for the bedroom to pass out. Soundwave raised a cupped servo for you to crawl into, his sharp claws curling protectively about your tiny form as he dropped to one knee and set you down. You were too tired to care how your hand lingered on his after grabbing on for support, and found yourself smiling up at him in a bit of a daze.

"I will initiate recharge. Join me after your rations." he said simply, utilizing a much broader vocabulary for you as he often did. Frenzy made a sound like a cough, and in the corner of your eye you saw her quickly put down a cup of energon to clear her vents. Soundwave left at that, and you set about pouring yourself a bowl of cereal for some much needed breakfast before bed. Just thinking of curling up in your little spot in the crook of his arm had you struggling to keep your eyes open...

"Back so late you're early, huh Y/N?" Frenzy asked after you'd fetched what you needed, briefly confusing your tired brain before you put her words together. Sitting down at the little salvaged table, you sat opposite the three and tried to stir up enough neurons to be conversational.

"You could say that. The mission took a bit longer than we planned, but we got what we needed." you explained, trying to stay conscious long enough to pour milk over your cereal.

"We weren't too worried. The two of ya have been spending a lot of quality time together of late, we were sure you were using the night well." Laserbeak added, bobbing his helm in confirmation. There seemed to be the faintest hint of a grin on his beak, but you didn't look too deeply into the expression, even as Frenzy snorted at his words. It was quite normal for them to be amused by their own antics, so you were hardly suspicious, and didn't even notice Ravage observing you in silence.

"Guess you can't wait to get back the berth." Frenzy continued, smirking over her glass as you shoveled cereal into your mouth. Not reading into any of their questions, you nodded, thinking of how Soundwave would probably be recharging by the time you joined him. It would feel incredible to just sink in with your blankets and pillows and sleep next to his warm frame. "You two must love sharing that thing."

"Yeah, no point in wasting space." you agreed as you got to the milk at the bottom, thinking purely in literal terms thanks to sleep deprivation. A single glance would have allowed you to see that Frenzy was biting her lip to keep her giggles in check while Laserbeak did much the same, all while Ravage tried to pretend he wasn't affiliated with either of them, but you merely continued talking without a thought. "It's at such a premium down here, we're practically on top of each other half the time."

This time you recognized the sound Frenzy made as a barely restrained chuckle, but when you looked up for clarification, it was Laserbeak that spoke.

"For you and Soundwave, it's way more than half." he said with a snicker. Though their double meaning was so obvious you should have caught on straight away, all you had the capacity to do was tilt your head over your cereal, the wheels of your brain doing their best to try and figure out why these bots were acting so strange.

"What?" you pressed, your direct question coming just as Ravage swatted his tail at the avian bot.

"Nothing." Laserbeak replied with mock innocence after ignoring the hit, grin never once leaving his beak.

"He's just goofing around." Frenzy said to calm your concerns, waving off the other mini in a good natured tease. Figuring they were all just involved in a game, you shrugged and brought the bowl to your lips to finish, getting about halfway through the sweetened milk before the cassette broke the silence.

"But for real, when can we expect a little brother or sister?"

You half choked on the milk and sprayed the rest over the table, eyes bulging as you finally understood everything that had been implied up to that point.

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vex91 · 10 months

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Cho Miyeon - Gorgeous

Pairing: Cho Miyeon x Female Reader

Fandom: (G)I-DLE

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Miyeon and reader established relationship imagine where they stop having sex with each other because every time miyeon initiates it reader rejects her. Miyeon gets sad because she thinks it has something to do with her not being able to "perform" well or reader doesn't find her attractive anymore but reader ends up telling her it's not that but actually because she's insecure now(because she (reader) put on weight. Even though it was barely any). But anyways yeah super angsty and suggestive w/ fluff ending. Thanks!

Summary: Miyeon starts to get worried about her abilities in bed after you started avoiding having sex with her.

Warning(s): Suggestive

A/N: I actually love writing for her so much❤

3rd's POV

"Come on tell us, what's happening between you and Y/N?" Minnie asked the older girl, a curious look visible on her face. Minnie knew Miyeon like the back of her hand so she could see that something bothered Miyeon and after pestering the older girl for long enough, she was sure that it was about your relationship. She just wasn't sure what could be wrong, you still looked like you only saw each other and the affections between were still there but still something bothered Miyeon.

"It's... nothing serious" Miyeon tried to change the subject but unfortunately for her Yuqi came into the kitchen where the two were talking and now she also had her on her back "If it bothers you this much then it is serious. Come on tell us, you'll feel better when you vent to someone" Yuqi took a sit on the kitchen counter much to Miyeon's dismay and with a smile she took an apple and started eating it, waiting for Miyeon to start talking.

"Okay something is bothering me but it really isn't that serious. It's about... well our intimate life" At that Minnie's eyes widened before she jumped on the counter along with Yuqi who looked just as serious. Miyeon only observed how they got themselves comfortable before giving her all of their attention "Now that's serious. Don't you know that? Tell us what happened" Yuqi said before fully focusing on Miyeon.

"That's the thing. Nothing happened, we didn't had sex for a month now. Everytime I try to initiate it, she pulls away and I don't know why" Miyeon vented to her friends who thought about this carefully "Do you guys think that she doesn't find me attractive anymore" Minnie shook her head at that "Impossible" Sighing Miyeon looked down "Maybe I don't give her pleasure anymore. Maybe I'm just bad at it" Yuqi jumped off the counter and stood in front of Miyeon, taking her by her shoulder and giving her an encouraging smile "I think that you should try again tonight and if she rejects you again then just talk it out with her. I don't think that it's anything with you... hopefully" Miyeon nodded, thinking over what Yuqi said.

She was right. Instead of thinking about all the reasons why you didn't wanted to get intimate with her, she should just talk with you about it. Communication is a key in a relationship after all. Despite being unserious most of the time, Yuqi cared about her members and often helped them a lot in stuff like this so Miyeon appreciated her because now she had a courage to talk with you about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sighed when you felt Miyeon's arms wrapping themselves around you the moment you layed down next to her on your couch. Since the group had some time off before resuming their preparations for their new album, Miyeon decided to use it to spend some time with you. That's why she came over to your house with intentions to stay there with you for these few days.

You just came back home from work so both of you decided that it will be a good idea to just lay down and watch a movie on your couch which you did but Miyeon had other plans in mind. She was craving you, lately she has been so busy that she didn't had time to spend with you so now she really needed to feel and taste you. The problem was the fear of you rejecting her again with another excuse as to why you didn't wanted to have sex with her.

At some point during a movie Miyeon placed a hand on your thigh which she thought you didn't noticed since you looked focused on the movie but what she didn't know was how you surely noticed it. Truthfully you were more focused on her rather than a movie, having her so close to you after not being intimate for a long while was a torture for you, all you wanted was for her to touch you but you couldn't help but distance yourself from her whenever she tried to get closer to you.

And it was not different tonight. Everytime Miyeon tried to get closer to you or initiate something, you would very noticeable back away leaving Miyeon frustrated until she finally had enough "Okay baby? Can we talk about it?" Your girlfriend turned herself more so she could face you fully, the movie's volume lowered to let you both have a conversation that you definitely needed. You looked down immediately, guilt starting to build up the longer you felt her gaze on you.

Seeing this Miyeon felt bad, she didn't wanted to pressure you into anything and that's the last thing she wanted "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm just confused about why you don't want to have sex with me anymore. Is it because I'm bad at it?" You quickly looked up, frantically shaking your head "Then do you not find me attractive anymore?" You shook your head again "Then what is it?" Miyeon held your hand the whole time, trying to give you some support and reassurance.

"It's not about me not finding you attractive anymore but more... me being scared that you won't find me attractive anymore" Miyeon looked confused at what you said so you continued "I've gain some weight lately and I just... don't think that I'm attractive enough for you" You finished before looking down again. Silence filled the room as Miyeon was processing what you've just said.

You're scared that she won't find you attractive anymore because you've gained some weight? She didn't even noticed and even if she did she would be happy that you're eating well. Plus for her it's impossible to not find you attractive, you were the most beautiful woman to her and she wanted to prove that to you.

She wanted you to know that you were gorgeous to her.

So Miyeon used her free hand and took your chin to raise your head up again so you could look at her and when you did, you saw only love and sincerity in her eyes "Don't you ever think that you're less than perfect in my eyes. You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and everyday I'm asking myself how I got so lucky to have you. It hurts hearing that you don't think that you're beautiful so please baby, let me show you how much I love you" She looked for any sign of approval from you so she could do anything to make you feel loved.

And when she did she didn't hesitated in connecting your lips in a loving kiss that was only a beginning of the night. She was going to show you that for her you're the most beautiful woman on this planet.

#vex writes #(g)i-dle x reader #gidle x reader #(g)i-dle reactions #gidle reactions #cho miyeon x reader #cho miyeon

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lucifers-horror-harem · 1 year

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Cheering You Up Headcanons

Hey all! I decided to write some soft headcanons this time around! Plus, I added a new boy, Travis Hackett from The Quarry! I know hes not exactly the same as my usual roster of horror slashers and villains, but I love him and this is my blog soooooooo I don’t care lol Also thank you to the people who voted for the 3rd character, Otis! I really like using the poll option to see what people are interested in seeing, I might have to use it some more when I’m stuck between choices :)

Freddy Krueger:

As much of an asshole Freddy can be, he’s fully capable of toning himself down if you��re looking upset. But if he’s in a particularly antagonistic mood, the signs you’re upset will fly past him entirely until you go off on him, whether it’s crying or yelling at him for being such a dick.

Freddy isn’t the kind to comfort you with his words, his love language tends to trend towards acts of service rather than sappy throw-away lines. He’ll never admit it, but ultimately he feels a smidge guilty for causing you more upset. So he’ll begin his scheming on a way to make it up to you.

Luckily for you, Freddy has his dream world, and he can make anything possible in your dreams. Freddy will hit you with just about everything he’s learned about you since knowing you. Do you like fancy romantic dinners? You’ve got the best seat in the house. Want to travel to places you wish you could afford? He’s got a first-class ticket to get you there. Just want a simple night in? He’s got you covered.

In all honesty, it would be a shock to see him put this much work in. Especially when half of the time you weren’t even sure he listened to what you were saying. Freddy not only listens to you, but he remembers everything. He just doesn’t like you knowing how much he truly cares. He thinks it makes him look too soft.

He’d get truly cocky as he soaks up the praise and affection you give him for such a sweet surprise. Freddy acts like it’s not a huge deal at all, and it wasn’t like he had to put much thought into it. You’re just so easy to please, he insists. But deep down even his cold black heart can feel a little something just from seeing your smile. As he lets you have your fun, he can’t help but smile to himself while watching you.

Travis Hackett:

While Travis might be awkward about expressing his emotions too freely, he’s more observant than he lets on. He’ll listen to everything you have to say, and figure out what you need based on that. He’ll let you rant and rave if you're venting until you finally let it out of your system, or he’ll hold you tightly if you’re an emotional wreck in need of comfort. And if it’s something he can take care of, well, he’s not above solving the issue himself.

Above all else, Travis makes sure you’re safe and comfortable. You mean more to him than he could ever put into words, and he’d do anything to see your smile. Even if he has a hard time expressing it, you can tell just how much he cares by the way he looks at you with adoration and softness you rarely see from him. He’s a brick wall to damn near everyone, but once you crack inside you’ll find he’s a bit of a sap.

The next day, he’d tell you to cancel any plans you have for that night. If you ask, he’ll simply grunt and ask you if you trust him. Obviously, you do, so you let him continue his planning.

That evening, he’ll drive you to a secluded area of the Hackett property where no one will bother the two of you. When you get there, you’ll find he’s already set up camp, and you can’t help but feel a smile pull on your face. Don’t make too big a production out of it, or Travis might get too flustered. As it is he’ll keep fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck as he insists it’s no big deal, that he uses this campsite so often that he just keeps these things here. Suuuuuure.

He finds the outdoors peaceful and relaxing, much of his best memories took place in the vast expanse of wilderness that fell in the Hackett property, and he hopes that perhaps you’ll feel just as calm surrounded by nature. Maybe create some new memories too.

You’ll have a front-row seat to the sunset falling below the trees, reflecting over everything in sight and giving the forest a soft orange hue. And as night begins to fall, you sit by the campfire that Travis had kept up past dinner time, looking up at the stars as they shone more brightly here than anywhere else you had seen before.

When the fire finally dies down, Travis will have you pulled to him on a blanket as you look up at the stars together and speak softly to each other as you begin to feel sleep pulling at you. Before you both fall asleep and get bit by all the mosquitos, Travis will make sure he carries you to the tent before finally settling down for the night, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

Otis Driftwood:

Otis isn't exactly the best choice if you're wanting a traditional cheering-up session. In fact, he might even complain if you pester him too much. "Can'tcha go bitch to Baby or something, I'm doing some important fucking shit here!" He'd probably shoo you along without so much as another glance your way.

After a while though, Otis will come around to the fact you need him. It's way easier for him to provide sexual affection, but genuine kindness is a bit out of his repertoire. But, after mulling it over for a while (as well as getting ripped a new one from Baby), Otis will try his best to be whatever you need.

He likes it best when all you need is for him to just exist in the same space, not needing him to provide a solution or answers. It's easy for him to just be a shoulder to cry on, that way he can't say all the wrong things like he tends to do.

Otis also loves it when you need to have a good vent session. He'll hype you up, telling you that yeah, that guy was a motherfucker and maybe someone should do something about it. Maybe it's good if you don't let that get too far because Otis gets an itching for revenge at the drop of a hat just to make you happy.

He also likes taking you on drives to calm you down. While he doesn't like to drive if he's too worked up because he's prone to road rage, he finds drives to be something that eases his mind when his thoughts are too scattered. And he's happy to share them with you, just so long as you don't become a backseat driver. Hell, if you ask nicely, he'll stop at whatever roadside spots you see. He’d even stop for ice cream if you’re being good.

#freddy krueger x reader #travis hackett x reader #otis driftwood x reader #slasher x reader

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silent-browser · 1 year

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Playing with so many ideas right now... First up on the "get out of my head" list. Also warning. My writing bad. This is me venting basically. So writing bad.

Child noble reader x yandere child servant

The sun was warm in the garden as the children were let out from their stuffy academy classrooms to roam, play and socialize. Curiousity, energy and connections were important in this life after all. However two children seemed to be standing away from the large cliques that the other children played and laughed in. Sitting in the shade of a very large flowering bush a young girl sits, carefully observing the flowers and the leaves and occasionally looking down at the book that lay in her lap.

"Maybe viburnum..." She ponders softly, looking closely at the illustrations. "Butterfly bush..?"

The other child, a servant who had been deemed ready by the head butler of her household to serve her stands quietly watching her before he finally speaks softly. "It can be what ever flower you wish it to be my lady. Hydrangea, snowball bush, viburnum, butterfly bush. Any of them can be or become what every you wish."

The young noble giggles back a response, "silly, that's impossible. If it's one kind of flower how could it ever become some other kind. That's like saying that a chesnut tree is actually an apple tree" she giggles on at the absurdity of the statement.

"I would do it" the young boy whispered, far too entranced with his master's laughter to ever think of disturbing it. "If only you continue like this for me"

Their peace was soon cut short by alarmed shrieking coming from the other children. Professors urge the children inside, warning of a sudden invasion of bees on the property.

"What is everyone so afraid of?" The young girl huffed to herself, annoyed at the sudden loss of her reading time. "They are only bees. They don't want to hurt anyone."

"Still, they may be dangerous." The boy fretted. Knowing what his precious lady might do if left outside with the insects. "Let's get you inside where you won't-"

"We need bees don't we? At the house?" The girl humed to herself, unknowingly interrupting her companion. "The chef always complains of honey prices right? And keeping bees on our property would make for better, brighter flowers in mothers garden." Nodding with growing excitement she smiles. "Yes, bees would be a fantastic addition to our home. Fetch Cassidy and tell her that I will be bringing along some friends home and to prepare a very large wooden box. I already have a match box that we can keep the queen in. All I need to do is find her!" After giving her orders she hops up and carefully dusts off her dress before clutching the flora book to her chest and rushing off in the direction of the bees.

With exasperation and deep affection the young boy she left standing by the yet-to-be classified flower bush sighs and moves to follow her orders. The master and madem would not be happy with this, he thought, but if it made her happy that is all that ever mattered.

The next day, after a very long trek home and an even longer explanation as to why there was suddenly a box of bees in their home the noble girl was back in school. Proud of her successful relocation of the bee swarm with no stings AND successful convincing of her parents to let her keep them she sat at her homeroom desk and drew. The next task was designing a bee box with removable frames so that they might harvest and profit from the bees and fully impress her parents with her find. As she quietly was drawing up some very crude plans for the bee box she had not noticed the two boys sneaking up behind her desk until they had unceremoniously dumped a sizable spider onto her desk.

"Here," a jeering voice called from behind her, "since you like bugs so much we got you this one."

A second voice mocked "maybe now you will finally have a friend"

As the pair laughed at their prank the girl sat frozen in her seat, staring at the spider as it lay motionless on top of her half drawn and very messy plan. Unable to scream or stand she was forced to sit and watch this large dead spider. She wanted help. She needed help. She doesn't do well around dead things. Even worse if they are some kind of spider or crawly thing. In this moment time froze for her. Her lungs felt as if they were made of lead, her heart racing as though preparing for a life or death fight, her mind blank. Before a hand crashed into view, blocking her direct line of sight with the spider.

"How dare you" a rumbling demand that caused the laughter to stop. "You knew this would scare her. You used it to your advantage. You are supposed to be the best of the best. The smartest, strongest, most clever in all the kingdoms. You are, both of you, acting like common idiots. For scaring a girl. How. Fucking. Dare you."

He was enraged. He wanted to rip their heads off. He wanted to feed these thoughtless insects the spider they were so proud of. He wanted to display their tortured bodies on the flag pole of the school to show any and all those who would ever touch his lady what would happen if they made her upset. She was supposed to be celebrating her victory. Not nearly passing out because of some stupid boys idea of a prank. But as much as he wanted to force them to grovel at her feet his first task and priority was to move her elsewhere so the wretched creature could be taken care of and she would have time alone to breathe. He quickly scooped her up into his arms, taking only a moment to relish the act of protecting her before quickly making his way back to the garden and quietly resting her once more under that flower bush where she finally allows herself to fold into a small ball and weep openly.

Those boys will pay, he thinks. But not right now, right now my duty is to my master. My sweet, thoughtful, beautiful master.

#soft yandere #yandere servant #child reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere child servant #noble reader #noble child reader #princess reader #she heckn loves biology #isekai if you squint

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sk-lumen · 3 months

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Hi Lumen,

Hope you are doing okay. I just wanted to share this here, I guess I needed to vent and write this down to show myself some sort of appreciation and to comfort myself in this choice so I thought I would share it since I saw other anons writing their progress down, hope you don’t mind. I have dropped that guy whom I was talking to since November, we tried to meet up multiple times but he always put the blame on me that we never could meet. We once tried to meet up and made plans to meet BUT the day before he went back to his hometown without any notice because he was not sure whether I still wanted to meet and didn’t even bother to make new plans. After this I decided to block him because it was literally the last drop. he made me feel confused all the time, I always felt so stressed and I remember you saying in one of your posts that a guy that makes you feel stressed and confused = not a man in his masculine energy and not meant for me. and also he tried to initiate physical and sexual conversations way to too fast which made me feel uncomfortable. I also think he love bombed me in the beginning.

i think reading your posts had helped me so much and I wanted to thank you for your posts. I really think you help a lot of young women with your advice 🌹

I know he was not worth my time and energy that’s why I cut things off with him but deep down I feel that guilt and “what ifs” but I know deep down I made the right choice and I can’t wait to elevate more in life.

Hi darling,

Thanks for sharing your journey and progress! I'm proud of you for cutting him off and moving on. Just from what you've mentioned there's already a list of red flags. I can confirm you did the right thing, but more important than that is you listening to your intuition, and honoring it! Realizing that you've known the answer all along. That's a brave thing and not easy to do especially in the beginning. And release the guilt darling. No healthy secure man that is for you will make you feel this way, or treat you like this in the beginning. All those red flags only multiply further in the relationship. You did right in moving on.

Also, posts like this make me happy to see how more and more ladies are awakening to their true worth and standing up for themselves 🥺 Moreso that my advice is helping someone out there 🤍

I like to think of my blog as an online diary dedicated to my younger self, sharing advice and experiences I wish others would have told me, so I didn't have to learn the hard way.

A lot of us girls didn't grow up with an older sister or aunt or female figure of some kind that initiates us into this experience of modern womanhood and how to honour ourselves and have better standards and boundaries. Or how to cultivate healthy friendships and sisterhood! Instead we're only programmed by society to view other women as competition and men as "the prize". To be people-pleasing and self-sacrificing to the point where we remove our "selves" from the equation of our lives altogether, centering everything around a man, family, pleasing our parents etc.

It's important to realize the #1 priority should always be yourself. You're the heroine of this story. The sooner you realize and live this truth, the sooner you can fully enjoy life, instead of being a secondary character in your own story.

Best wishes 🫶

-Lumen

#sk lumen #relationship tips #glow up #high standards #high maintenance #level up #level up journey #self improvement #personal development #dating tips #high value dating #ask #fav

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whyareyouhere66 · 2 years

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Jack Kelly x GN Reader - Love at your Convenience

Jack Kelly x Gender Neutral Reader

Angst (?)

Inspired by the song ‘Love at your Convenience’ by Ghost of Paul Revere

It’s not that in-character for Jack, but I wanted to do it with the Newsies and he was the only guy I could think of while writing it- this has been in drafts for weeks.

Y’know, at first it took him a while to fully open up to you. It didn’t matter how many times you’d find him wandering the Manhattan streets alone during those first 3 months of the relationship, he’d would always brush off any questions, throw an arm around your shoulder and a kiss to your cheek, and continue on with a sly change of subject.

You wanted him to trust you, truly. In fact you remember secretly being glad when he opened up to you for the first time.

But now that he finally did, you realize that perhaps you should’ve been more specific when you said “you can always come to me- always”.

Nearly every night of the week, he’d climb in through the window with a whole speech ready about something he did not agree with that day.

“Conlon keeps selling on the bridge- we agreed against it!”

“These greedy old rich guys can’t appreciate talent”

“They should be raising the price for customers- not the kids tryna sell em. Pulitzer must be patting himself on the back now, huh.”

On and on all the time about the same things, over and over. You had meant maybe when he was feeling down, needed a cheering up. Not angrily planning entire protests against the rich.

But, he was your partner and you loved him. To you- if you didn’t let him rant about these things then what kind of lover where you?

But..though you tried reminding yourself of that everytime he swung one leg over the window sill, angrily glaring, you knew this couldn’t keep up much longer.

You were burnt out, all out of encouragement. Compared to Jack, constantly running off adrenaline and that darn “peppy news-boy” front, you were the tired, “try-hard” one.

While he paced around your small room, dirt from his shoes sticking to your carpet, letting out frustrations he couldn’t in front of the other newsies, you could do nothing more then sit on your bed and wait for him to finish. Whenever he came in real late at night, which was often, you’d lean against the wall and watch through half lidded eyes- with nothing more to offer than “mhm” and “yeah, I get that sweetheart but…”

Sometimes he’d get sick of it as well- giving an attitude to you about “not listening.” Before finally, slipping under the covers and tugging you into his chest.

That was what used to be your favorite part.

Until you realized, that was the only time he seemed to care.

It seemed now that he had someone to vent to, that was your only use. He used to always have you at his side, now he rarely talked to you during the day.

You used to have in-depth conversations about the sunset, comparing the one on the bridge to the one in Santa Fe. Then that evolved into you feeding into his lengthy, midnight paragraphs. Now it was nothing.

You used to go to Medda’s shows, getting the best seats in the house and dancing wildly to her songs. Now you barely remembered how to dance at all.

You were a journal, with pages filled up with inky words and nonsense. The leather cover was dented and scratched, pages yellowing in age as you slowly ran out of room to be written in.

And Jack held the pen.

Perhaps if you told him what was wrong. He might stop, or he might continue. Maybe he’d get mad at you. Probably.

He was out at Medda’s at the moment, with the other newsies. You didn’t mind; you hoped he stayed there a bit longer. Maybe if the show ran real late, you could slip into sleep before he could climb up onto your fire escape again.

‘Oh god, I’m horrible…’

You grimace, rolling over in your bed and onto your side. Jack didn’t deserve that, he was just trying to get some frustrations out. He worked hard, giving everything he could to those newsies.

Perhaps you just wanted him to leave something to give for you.

A loud creak comes from your window, and when you looked over through your blurry eyes, you could see Jack stepping into the room, once again. Your hand crawls up to your face, covering your cheeks to block the salty tracks of your tears.

Words shot from his mouth, though you were unsure if they were angry, confused, etc. You blocked him out.

It didn’t matter none the less, the words weren’t processing in your tired brain.

Though it wasn’t hard for you to see, that Jack seemed to not notice he was simply talking to a brick wall, of his own creation.

#Jack Kelly #jack kelly x reader #92sies #92sies x reader #newsies x reader

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secretgamergirl · 1 year

Text

Random stuff I need to vent about while I’m still alive.

So I sincerely don’t think I’m going to manage to stay alive much longer, and I keep going back and forth on whether that’s something I should mention publicly, or just keep quiet and not bring the room down. Today I’m kinda feeling like I should say some things.

So first because I know people will be all curious if I don’t say why I think this is the end, a lot of things are just kinda converging and odds are one of them is going to do it.

- I really was just barely getting by on Patreon donations. Since getting kicked off Twitter those have been steadily drying up, and I don’t really have a plan to get new people donating at a rate that’ll outpace that, so basically I’m just at a point where I have to go around begging and hoping for some increasingly miraculous act of generosity from someone that lets me keep the lights on for one more month. That’s not sustainable, and when I can’t cover things, that’ll be it for me.

- I recently got a couple new diagnoses of really serious medical things. They’re both incurable, they both could kill me. I’m doing my best with treatments, but that mostly means I’m taking like 10 different medications, they have serious side effects, I’m basically asleep all the time now, and something could just take a turn whenever.

- I’m still a big ol’ nazi target and get regular violent threats. Who knows what’s going to happen there? Plus odds seem pretty good Biden’s going to just get the one term here and the entire Republican party seems to be running on a trans genocide platform. That’s not going to help things.

So right now I’m kinda just taking things a day at a time. Doing my best every day to just be really randomly nice to the handful of people who still talk to me, and trying to focus on how I’m like a good decade or so past the average life expectancy for trans people as is. But, you know, we all have bad days, and sometimes it’s hard not to dwell on like, the various people in your life who just randomly stuck knives in your back and how things would be different if that didn’t happen.

The one that’s really eating at me tonight is this one person I knew a few years ago and really thought was a friend who just threw me under the bus in such a shockingly savage way. I don’t even fully recall the context for this. Either it was when some totally random stranger I’d never even heard of decided out of the blue that I was her nemesis and started this giant smear campaign against me, or it was when a really close friend was going through a bad breakup and her ex was just going out of her way to spread every possible horrific rumor about her under the sun, and I was standing up for her. Might have even been both at once, these sorts of hate campaigns do tend to converge.

So anyway, that sort of thing was going on, and this person I considered a friend at the time decided of her own accord to publicly stand up for me, write a quick little thing about how I legitimately bore no animosity to whoever and just kinda putter around trying to do nice things for people. And then I don’t think even a full day later, she pulled that statement down, and replaced it with this huge thing about me basically being the devil and how I “took advantage of her autism to confuse her” which... wow that’s a hell of a thing to say about someone. Like, first of all, I’m not convinced that’s even a thing. I know quite a lot of people on the spectrum, and I’ve been told there’s a good chance I’m on it myself, and like... increased susceptibility to evil viziers or whatever isn’t something I’ve ever heard associated with it. Plus you know, like, this whole initial defense was something this person decided to do on her own just based on her observations of how witch hunts against random trans people were happening, as happens all too often.

And this happened again a few years later too. Another friend was dealing with some real horrific stuff, on the order of nazis threatening their spouse’s employer to get said spouse fired and showing up at their parents’ house with violent intent, and they gave me the details and asked me to write up a quick explanation while they kinda went off the grid for a few days for safety. So, I did that, people started passing that around, including the bus tosser here... and then a few days later my usual dangerous stalkers saw people were sharing somethng I wrote and started in on some weird line of attack where I was making this entire story about someone else fleeing their home due to a coordinated nazi attack which uh... was actually getting independent news coverage at this point as they were back on the internet and giving interviews, as a secret means of attacking... someone?

So of course once again, the bus-tosser about whom I’m rambling with this story retracted her endorsement of uh... my relaying things for a friend that were all being independently confirmed by reporters, and once again condemning me as a vile trickster who mislead her. Which is extra impressive because like, we hadn’t talked in years here.

So of course I can make an educated guess at what was really up with these incidents. The sort of weird stalkers who try to get trans people killed really go all in on cutting off any support, so presumably one or more of them approached this bus-tosser and made some pretty serious threats that she would be next if she didn’t walk things back, and being in a particularly vulnerable position, she decided to throw me under the bus to save her own skin... multiple times. And honestly I’m not even upset with her for that. I know her life’s a really precarious tightrope walk (and if it was unclear this is decidedly not a situation where I want anyone trying to guess who this was).

Really I’m just stuck on how she could have just never said anything to begin with. If you know you can’t deal with the heat of having someone’s stalkers start to come after you because you’re interrupting their attack on their primary target, you can just look the other way. I’m a big girl, and I can generally take care of myself pretty well with these situations. Hell I’m the sort who ends up in these situations because I absolutely will stick my neck out like this for other people when I know they’re the victim of some messed up bigoted hate campaign. So pretending not to know me, or to know what’s going on is absolutely a move she could have made. Nobody would go threatening her. I’d just be dealing with ridiculous slander that holds no water from random anonymous hatemongers. But... no, she had to go and involve herself, get scared, and throw serious fuel on the fire in order to back up. And you know put me through the trauma of watching someone I thought was a friend publicly tell some particularly messed up lies about me.

But yeah. I have a lot of stories like that one about various people I’ve known over the years. It’s hard not to think about them when staring death in the face. Just kinda feels like I’m the sacrificial victim everyone’s redirected their personal demons to attack to minimize how many people are getting gang-stalked and threatened or something. And I don’t even mind filling that role for people just... let me pull that aggro by choice by coming to your defense? Don’t throw me under the bus? I don’t feel like that’s a super unreasonable request.

#trauma #gang stalking #morbid

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daisychainsandbowties · 10 months

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5, 9 and 13 for the fic asks? Hope you're having a wonderful day!

5. what's a fic idea you've had that you will never write?

i have so many fic idea swimming around in my head that i will definitely never have time to write but.

i do have a fighter pilot au (who am i kidding a Battlestar Galactica au) where Ava's an ace pilot sent out in an experimental ship to look for safe harbor after human civilization is decimated; only 50,000 living souls left alive out of billions. the first jump carries them into deep space.

Bea's is an expert navigator and astrobiologist, sent along with Ava to keep an eye on her, since Ava's famously reckless and spent basically every other night in the brig back on the Galactica. but Bea's also the science officer, tasked with seeking out habitable planets for an initial attempt at seeding human colonies as far from the ruins of civilization as possible. the idea would be to give them the ability to contact each other, but leave warnings about the Cylons, warnings to never go back.

they have a larger freighter-style ship capable of supporting them for... as long as it takes, complete with a lab (for Bea) and a starfighter (so that Ava can immediately destroy any Cylon scout ship that makes visual contact with them). they have equipment Bea can use to study any habitable planet they find, to set up shop on the surface for the several weeks it takes to fully bio-map and geologically assess the landscape. once they set down a beacon, hopefully the signal can reach the people working on the Dandelion Pods that Beatrice created - ships that can follow their trail and carry the 500 or so people needed for a viable population to the planets they've earmarked.

it ends up taking them far away from the fighting, Ava picking off one or two scouts who locate their signature before it fades out of sight. then it's her mechanical skills that help, fixing the ship as it breaks, setting up systems they didn't have the time to anticipate the need for.

just... quiet, and fathomless space. the two of them growing closer, Bea's initial wariness giving way to fondness, to something more. huddling for warmth when they have to all but power down the ship to avoid creating a heat signature when the Cylons scan into deep space for survivors.

they're the last hope for humanity, adrift out in the stars with Bea growing veggies in planter pots because "access to fresh food has been proven to promote psychological health" "sorry professor. i won't make fun of your beets ever again"

Ava buffing her fighter and Beatrice watching her check the weapons systems and paint new, lurid designs on the wings, hoping desperately that they never have to use it, that they're never found, (that they never have to go back).

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you've written?

yes i write every day unless i have bad pain or brain fog, but even if it's just a sentence i like to write Something because i couldn't for years & i'm trying to make up for lost time lmao.

a sentence:

"She sat with the paper bag of chocolates cupped in her palms and thought of how the vendor touched them all with his bare fingers, once or twice raising them to wipe at the sweat in his hair, and how the vents rattled, pumping recycled air into that deep space, little ribbons on the grilles to show everyone that the air was flowing, to warn them when it stopped."

13: How much planning do you do before writing?

i think about my WIPs when i'm out walking sometimes, but i never write anything down, believing foolishly that if a plot point or a scene or a line is good enough i'll remember it, or that when i sit down to write it'll reassert itself as a natural part of the narrative. aside from that, all i work with is a first line and a vague concept and i much prefer it that way.

#ty for the ask dren!!#ask meme #bsg au #(prayer circle for me to stay 200000000 feet away from writing it)

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hornedcraft · 11 months

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for reference; my collection of cards. (updated 07/06/2023)

i have so many. i am planning on getting more.

asterisks mean they’re favourites. little write-ups provided, to give insight into what questions they prefer to answer and what personalities the entities/energies have. in alphabetical order, separated by type of divinatory card system.

TAROT.

Antique Anatomy: studious and spiritual; takes magic from a very scientific standpoint and encourages research. is extremely excited to help anyone on spiritual path questions, but fumbles with things about the real world. helps clarify messy and muddled feelings about magic work, but makes emotional things feel even more confusing.

Architect: very composed; a lot more emotional than i’d expected! interested in building “bridges” between people, all interpersonal relationships and “reinforcing” the spine and the inner self. good for big feelings, social issues, and self confidence; as well as for identifying obstacles that are halting momentum.

* Art Nouveau: one of my prior default decks. purchased in salem, massachusetts during my first trip. feels like a knowing mother; very connected to the divine feminine. feels very bright in terms of energy, but encourages you to touch into the darkness to understand the balance required in understanding magic fully. good for both personal and path-related questions; often very kind and sympathetic, but still offers sage advice.

Black Ritual: a gift from a friend at work. redraw of the rider-waite, feels very clean but very fight-y, justice seeker. sits at crossroads, will either give you advice or listen to you vent- either way, he’s like a good friend. very much matches your energy, but won’t bend his advice to just what you WANT to hear, only change it to be the way you might want to hear it.

Crow: takes a little bit of effort to reach into its energies, but very fun, playful, and encourages a balance between physical and spiritual. feels like a whole flock of crows, a full family dynamic too, that balances out all the different directions because of how many voices seem to be speaking at once. a little hard to pin down, but a really rewarding deck for any question you have; just be ready to pull clarifying cards.

Druidcraft: the first deck i ever received, currently unusable since two cards were ruined in a moving accident. huge stoner vibes.

Ethereal Visions: gorgeous, really serious, needs you to completely surrender your headspace over to it or else it won’t work. guardian angel energies. focused on building a strong internal self (especially a firm backbone) so that you may become a leader, or at least a trailblazer, in whatever material things you may want to pursue. mostly about building strength to withstand hardships, instead of telling you how to avoid them.

Everyday Witch: town healer vibes, older grandmother witch who’s been around the block a few times. knows about risk versus reward, interested in teaching and teaching you to teach, old in wisdom but young in joy. best used for questions where you need to be assured in your abilities, regardless of where they are; as well as general questions about the path if you want to learn something useful.

Guardian of the Night: like the crow tarot, but more focused. also feels like several entities, but unlike the crows, they speak with one voice. feels very urgent in whatever it says. interested in big catastrophes- if you’re in your tower era, this is a good deck to call on. good at mixing pep talks with advice, very encouraging to move, extremely instinct-based.

* Herbcrafter’s: fun dual-use deck. half regular tarot, half herbs and medicine oracle deck, makes for a fun spread no matter what. GOLDEN GIRL ENERGY. older woman who loves herself and wants you to love yourself, too. self love, self care, self protection, self discovery, self confidence- it is all about you, and becoming someone that other people want to ask advice from. really good for any question; makes you feel good coming out of the reading.

* Hush: incredible vibes. i use this deck as my namesake for my main blog. feels like walking into a deep, dark wood that you don’t belong in. does not do well with more trivial day-to-day questions; it wants to dig into the soil of your soul. will not give you an answer if you aren’t ready for it. mostly for the spiritual. dances along the edge of the veil, and encourages a deeper understanding of magic.

Inversion: feminine tomboy energy; kind of a take-no-shit kind of chick, will not really offer emotional support but will tell you exactly what you need to know. better for day-to-day questions, especially ones revolving around working, careers, or craftsmanship. based off the marsailles style of tarot, so a little different from the rest of my decks.

Modern Witch: fun, but a little shallow. for low-stress questions. very fluffy, probably not best for serious path-related questions, but will offer good direction if you’re a little scattered in your real life. be advised that it’s always going to direct you to the option that brings the most pleasure; not necessarily the best one in the long run.

* Murder of Crows: extremely powerful deck. i cried actual tears the first time i used it. death and rebirth. if you have gone through something difficult, or feel stuck in the dark, this deck will hold your hand through the hard shit. better used after the hard times, so it can get you out of the wreckage. deeply personal. deeply magical. i must reiterate the power that radiates from this deck.

Murder of Crows (Limited Print Red Edition): this one feels like the more positive sibling to the original murder of crows deck; once the first brother has gotten you out of the wreckage, this one kinda helps you to stay in the good times without sliding back. older brother passes your hand to younger sister. not as powerful, but works well in tandem with the other.

Mystic Dreamer: not a fan of the art style, hard to connect to. feels conflicting in its advice, too; aware of the need for plans, but consistently warns that plans never go to- well, plan. strict in terms of logical over emotional. i don’t know what kind of question this deck would be best for.

Occult: deck of demons. literally made of demons. was not aware that it was meant to be used for summoning demons when i purchased it in a large lot. useful for seeking out important people in your life. i am genuinely too scared to work with this deck without my boyfriend (who’s worked with demons before) present to make sure i don’t fuck up somehow. it sure does feel like a bunch of demons in there! for sure!

* Rider-Waite Mini: the default deck i use- not because it’s a rider waite, but because it’s the deck i use to communicate with my deity, cernunnos. if you don’t specify your deck, there’s a high chance i’ll be using this one! i carry it with me at all times (unless i forget to swap it into a new bag if i change purses).

Spiritsong: eclectic animal commune. similar to guardians in the sense that each card is related to an animal, but a much softer energy. hippy vibes; not quite stoner like the druidcraft deck, but very peaceful and indulgent in a way. instinctual, but not intense. light and airy. probably best for making decisions; will guide you towards the answer you kind of always wanted in the first place, and encourage you to allow yourself to want things.

Tattoo: very dulled energy, hard to harness

* Urban: my favourite modern deck. very much feels like you’ve found a beating heart in the centre of a metropolis and it’s pulling on everything to answer you

Wildwood: new deck, never used

Wild Unknown: new deck, never used

Wizard: made by the same people as mystic dreamer, and has the same issues.

Zombie: my least favourite deck of all time. the second one i ever got. i keep it for laughs mostly, and also to point at when people ask which is my least favourite.

ORACLE.

* Celtic Tree: really in-depth, super interesting system.

Crystal Wisdom Healing: i’ve had it for a very long time, usually works better as a supplement to a reading from another deck

Flowers: new deck, never used

Green Witch: fun vegetables! need to dig my hands into it a little more, though.

Hedgewitch Botanical: new deck, never used

Prism: new deck, never used

Seasons of the Witch Samhain: new deck, never used

* Wild Unknown Animal Spirit: outstanding vibes, really motivational but still balancing.

LENORMAND.

Golden: more classic style, not a huge fan but definitely says what it means.

Green Glyphs: beautiful soft and smooth art, just haven’t fully clicked in for me yet.

* Red Hand: my first lenormand deck, gorgeous art, feels super blunt in a really fun way.

#card list #personal reference #marlowe's tarot studies #important posts

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maydays-medbay · 2 years

Text

Okay, real talk for a minute. Like, seriously. Something has come up recently that I want to talk about, that doesn't relate to transformers. It's directly affecting me and countless others, and I feel like I should address a few things that I've seen floating around since the word has started spreading.

Some trigger warnings, for those who need them. Don't feel obligated to read this if these mentions will do more harm than good. Mentions of Death, the d/smp, mcyt, cancer, ableism, lots of cursing, ranting/venting and seriously shitty behavior from some people.

So for those who don't know, very recently, it was announced that Minecraft Youtuber Technoblade has passed away from his battle with stage 4 cancer. He was loved by many, many people - myself included.

Words can't even begin to express how much this news has impacted me, and I can't even begin to think about how hard this is for his family. It's a tragedy, he was young and seemed like such a kind and caring individual. Genuinely caring about his fans, and for those who were close to him. Everyone has my sincerest condolences.

I still haven't fully processed that he's gone. It hurts to think that one of my biggest inspirations, and one of the few people who kept me going during quarantine is gone, and yet he is. He is and it's awful. I'm hoping that somehow writing all of this down and venting a little helps in some way. Technoblade was probably the one person that always brightened up my day if it wasn't going how I'd planned.

Sure, maybe he was associated with iffy individuals. I never really cared for the d/smp either, personally (except for maybe one or two individuals that don't seem problematic but I won't get into that here). Even still, that never gives anyone the right to make jokes about cancer, or believe that this is some kind of twisted, fucked up, divine punishment - all because you hate the people he surrounded himself with.

Kindly, grow the fuck up. You can have your opinions, but don't let them cover up the fact that another person was lost to a debilitating illness. That someone died.

Nobody should ever have to go through what he and his family have. Nobody should have to experience that kind of loss. Let people fucking grieve the loss of their inspiration, friend, family member, brother, son; no matter how they related to Techno, let them mourn.

Cancer isn't a joke. It's not funny. It's not okay to want that on anybody. Even if you don't support the d/smp, have some dignity to not go around and act like it's something to celebrate. It's not. He was a human being who had his life taken away from him by a terminal illness. That is never something you can joke or be happy about. Ever.

I've had many family members with cancer. It's a horrible thing to have to experience, even if you aren't the person directly affected. Every time it plagues my family, it haunts me too. My mental and physical health suffer. Like some kind of entity is constantly at my throat. I go into a state of constant worry and panic. Hell, I am petrified when I know that someone close to me is suffering. I can't say that I know how others feel, because I don't, and cannot claim that I do, but I know how this is affecting me and it's not "okay" by any stretch of the imagination.

Knowing that some people out there poke fun at this kind of shit has me livid. What kind of morality do you have where you think it's okay to laugh about this kind of illness/disability? To laugh at someone's passing, ESPECIALLY when it's about something outside of their control? It's not only a shitty thing to do, it's a horrendous thing to do.

Don't even get me started on the "_____ deserved it" shit. That's honestly disgusting. It makes me sick knowing that some people are doing stuff similar to this right now, as I am typing, because of some personal vendetta against him and the d/smp. Fuck you. No, seriously, fuck you if you do this kind of shit.

Even if you hate the d/smp with a passion, or didn't really like Technoblade, then have the most basic form of respect for the guy who passed away. It's the best thing you can do.

If you want to reblog this to spread the word, or opinions on the matter, please do. This is really important shit that people need to understand, because this isn't okay. Just, please don't start fights or arguments or anything.

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super-kristuff · 7 months

Text

So, I got really excited for Cities Skylines 2, and I thought I would write a short essay here to complain about it.

Basically, everything I'm going to say here boils down to the fact that it is not a finished game. It's just not. I read a lot of reviews because I saw the initial backlash to its release, and after the initial flood of bad reviews, it looked like some people had managed to have a positive experience. Following some of the posts made by the community, I think I lot of people are trying to defend the game because the developers are hard working creators that have listened to the community. I myself was very excited for the game because it sounded like it would improve on many of the systems of Cities Skylines, and given time, I think it will be a really impressive game. But despite their work or intentions, it doesn't change the fact that Cities Skylines 2 just isn't finished.

I think the reason I really wanted to make this vent post is because I didn't see my immediate concerns anywhere in the reviews that I read. Obviously there are frame-rate issues even on low settings, incredibly finicky user controls, AND bugs that make the game-play impossible to plan around.

But what I find inexcusable is the changes that they made to the UI? All of the "tweets" are incredible small and hard to read. It's light grey text on a white background, and they disappear far to quickly to read. Which might not have been an issue if any of the info-graphic panels were readable. Each utility is now on its own tab, so it's a five minute affair to figure out what resources the city needs. Also, when zoning, the ground is replaced with the white background used in the info-graphics, so it's impossible to see the light gray zoning tiles. AND there are now a bunch of difference zones that are all light green and light blue? I'm not colorblind, but my goodness, I'm spending so much time squinting at best, and at worst, completely rebuilding a district just to make sure its zoned correctly.

Like, the only reason I took a risk and bought the game is because I have a lot of respect for the developers, and I saw a handful of reviews trying to praise the game where it went right. But ultimately, the flaws of Cites Skylines 2 are so numerous and obvious that I can only assume the developers knowingly released an unfinished product. Honestly, I feel like they were hoping to release the game as a form of play-testing, and I have no intention of paying money to complete their work for them.

And like, it's hard to avoid going into a negative spiral. As a brief counter point, the game is still, at its core, Cities Skylines. It still captures that feeling of city planning, traffic management, and budget planning; but to be fully honest, it fails to fulfill any of those goals as well as Cities Skylines 1. Additionally, any enjoyment you might find in any of these three will be quickly ruined by the numerous bugs or poor design choices.

Circling back to the beginning, the game isn't finished. I think there are a lot of neat mechanics that will probably be up and running in a few months, but the fact that the development team behind Cities Skylines would push the release of this game has quickly eroded any faith that I have in their studio.

Idk how to end this, but those are my thoughts.

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ducknotinarow · 10 months

Note

[2012 RaphArnold - hug your father in law because here he is being a dad]

"Raphael, there yer are," Arnold grinned, just having caught a glimpse of green, "Was wonderin' if I coul' show yer somethin' pretty quick."

When the Turtle came over, Arnold showed him said thing - a book. A clearly old book, hand made, with older papers with hand written words, and a ribbon binding everything together. On the front, in faded, yet beautiful, cursive was a simple phrase: 'Jones Family Cook book'. Arnold smiled,

"This has been in my family for years, my ma gave it t' me, an' her ma gave it t' her, an' their ma t' them, an' so on, for generations," Arnold explains, "We all add our own recipes t'."

Arnold was careful as he flicked through the pages, showing as they got newer, the writing changed. Even Casey and Angel had little sections near the end, each one separated by a tab made by said person, though, Casey and Angel's parts had very few recipes added,

"I've already taught Casey an' Angel my own, an' I'd like t' teach yer the same ones t', I trus' yer won't burn anythin'," He lightly jokes, soon sighing softly, "But, there's jus' one problem with the book, it's missin' someone," Arnold looks to Raph, smile soft, "It's missin' yer section."

Arnold is careful as he holds out the book to them, waiting for Raphael to take it,

"Yer my son t' Raph, an' I wan' yer t' add t' our book, if yer wan' t' as well," Arnold asks of them, "Who knows, if yer an' Casey ever get a few munchkins of yerself, they can add t' it t' - but uh, I'm sure that's a long way away."

He barely knew Raph but was already thinking about grandkids, maybe he should slow down a little,

"Still, I'd like yer t' add to our family book, an' when yer get some more time, I'll teach yer my lasagne recipe, one of my kids gotta be able t' cook it without turnin' it int' charcoal."

| Muse Interaction

"I dunno, jus' feels 'ike a mess Case." Was the best the turtle had to offer as he spoke to his boyfriend over the phone. Sitting out not to far from their home. Casey making his way home the plan was to meet up and head out but Raphael was no longer in the mood to bash skulls or tag up any walls. Of course Casey asked what was wrong seeing if he needed to make use of their code to instead talk and vent. "I ain't ya know tryin' not to tell ya jus' I don' know how to word it?" He offers but from the tone in Casey voice he knows they know that. Hell Casey gets it better than anyone how hard it can be word your emotions. Sure he could write his out Raph not so much he needed time to figure it out. And well he had a lot to figure out, he sort of had a fight with Splinter. Not sure if you can call it a fight much. Fights were physical or verbal, Raph didn't get much word in simply cutting it all of with 'hai sense' bowed head and dipped out the first chance he had. Grateful for Casey in this moment when they offer to stay in for the night instead. Made better when telling Raph they could just hang out at his place.

If it weren't for the fact he felt like he would be imposing or whatever he would be over at the Jones' home more than he already was. Which said a few things about the turtle as is. Apparently he was slightly polite and surprisingly he wasn't over near as much as it may seem. Raph was well aware just how welcomed he was by Casey and his family. Something he never fully got his mind wrapped around, but at the same time he kept visits to a decent balance so Splinter wouldn't be on his case to much. Raphael understands it comes from a concur and a worry in his own father maybe fear too. Not to mention he didn't want to over stay his welcome. Assuming there was a limit to such a thing. Raph just didn't want to risk what had come to be his safe haven in a sense. And he has a feeling Casey aware of that fact, but Casey's such a good boyfriend not seeming to mind the times Raph wants to simply hide out in it when it's needed. Though he dose still go through Casey bed room window most the time. Best way to get right to his boyfriend after all. But now? He was allowed to come to the front door.

It was dark out so he was pretty easily hidden thanks to the lack of street lights. It felt sort of weird as he knocked on the door. So normal and mundane but filled his shell with an overwhelming sensation. It's eased away when Casey's gap tooth smile greets him at the door and invite him in hard not to return the grin. Having gotten there not too long after Casey had it seemed they were just going to head right up to his room. But it seemed the moment Raph's presence wasn't only known by Casey, rhe turtle would be summoned by another in the house.

"Raphael, there yer are,"

On instinct he paused and turned around to peek his head over, letting them better see him. As he was just met with a smile. Did they know he would be popping around? " uhhey Aronarld, I'm here, need somethin' ?" The turtle was still learning how to walk around the eldest human he was different from April's Dad course dating. Casey may have a lot to do with the approach as well.

"Was wonderin' if I coul' show yer somethin' pretty quick."

Well now he was curious by the suggestion, tossing a look to Casey a moment. "I'll catch up to ya." He idly states before turning and making his way over to thier Dad. He really liked the guy even if they could be a tad corny but it was a good kind. They seemed bejist really beyond cool with Casey dating Raphael. And even about Raoh being a turtle, sure he was bound to have some moment, but honestly? It felt nice having another human who didn't scream at the sight of him. Raphael offered a smile to them then looked down to what they wanted to show him. Tilting his head to the side as he lookong over the aged pages unevenly stacked all banded up with a ribbon actting as a spine. Reading over the cover it was a cook book, a Jones cook book at that. He didn't guess cooking was a big thing for them? Seeing how Casey cooking skills weren't much to sneeze at.

"This has been in my family for years, my ma gave it t' me, an' her ma gave it t' her, an' their ma t' them, an' so on, for generations,"

Raphael offers a nod of his head as Aronald leafs through the pages of the cook book. But he dosent quite understand why they are showing him thier family cook book still?

"We all add our own recipes t'."

That's kind of nice he thinks having something that been passed down like so entrusted to each part of thier family added on even. Made clear as some pages were newer than others. Hand writing differed between the sections even. Think back on hiw Splinter would mention heirlooms his own family had long ago. Thier weapons were part of those. They didn't really have anything like this maybe that photo album but Mikey took over on that. Leo would get Splinters sword that was always known. And kind of what caused the not so much if a fighting they had.

He let's that thought move away as he shifts and moves to get comfortable where he's standing right now. Looking at the name tabs of the sections till its gets to Arnorld he sees Casey and Angel even have sections. Course Raphael smiles at the sight if Casey's name. He's half tempted to joke with thier Dad about how many different way can one person burn a meal.

"I've already taught Casey an' Angel my own, an' I'd like t' teach yer the same ones t', I trus' yer won't burn anythin',"

The offer to teach him some of his own recipes goes over Raphs head a second as he dosen't even hide the snicker that comes out of him when Aronald makes a similar snide at his kids expense. Deciding it might be fine to add in his own but he's cut off as they contuine to speak

"But, there's jus' one problem with the book, it's missin' someone,"

Oh? This must be why he asked for Raph? Though he don't know what the problem is or even how Raph can help? Maybe a receipe was missing? Taken? Oh family drama they have a section fully missing due to some in family fighting and Raph can sneak into wherever to get it!

Honestly though the answer he's given paired with the soft smile they wore was far from what he ever would have expected to here.

"It's missin' yer section."

"My what?" Raphs bewilderment can't go unnoticed needing a second before he's even aware they were holding the book out for him to take. Raph near forgetting how his arms and hands even function before he gingerly took the book carefully holding it in his hands. He dosent knkw what todo what to see even why would he get a section?

"Yer my son t' Raph, an' I wan' yer t' add t' our book, if yer wan' t' as well,"

He lifts his gaze up to them unsure what to say to that. How could he be thier son? He bearly knew Raph yet he considered them family? What did Raph even do for them to think of him in that way? He tries but try as he can he just can't recall a time Raph had done a thing for that to be earned.

"Who knows, if yer an' Casey ever get a few munchkins of yerself, they can add t' it t' - but uh, I'm sure that's a long way away."

And now he's sure he blushing at that. Kids?! Okay well technically they did treat thier pet turtle like thier joint son but. Shit! He wants the book to go through them then?! Ugh his head his spin his tongue is tied the fuck is he meant todo right now?!

This is too much right he can't accept this? Can he? For some reason though Arnold's voice seems to clam the anxious spin out his mind was going through in that second.

"Still, I'd like yer t' add to our family book, an' when yer get some more time, I'll teach yer my lasagne recipe, one of my kids gotta be able t' cook it without turnin' it int' charcoal."

His eyes just widen a moment he can't comprehend this at all. How can he just do this? Welcome Raphael how he dose? Claim them part of his family even. Raphael hadn't done anything worthy of that. He wants Raphael part of it even a book full of Jones and he felt Raph had a place with them? Raph didn't even have a place in his father's mind as being considered worth the Hamato family's values and ways. But he was worth this?

Raph lowers his head lookong down to the pages carefully tracing his thumb on the edge of the pages. His mind suddenly went blank he couldn't think he'll he had to remind himself to breath in that moment. He manges a smile, unsure of hiw he normally wears those in the first place. He feels something swelling in his chest but he can't name it. Casey Dad was just being nice right?

"I can' make time." He simply answers with, a slient yes i want to spend that time with you hidden in his words. "I never had anythin' as good as your lasagna after all so love ta know how to make it." He offers to try and hide the welling emotions building up in him as he carefully sets the book down. Not wanting to lose a single page on the binding.

As soon as it was safe though he steps over a second and put his arms around Aronald wishing to die the second his body moved but it was quick and fast as he gave them a a faint squeeze between his arms. Praying that they can't tell how much this just hit him he can't even explain it or fathom it. It's just a cook book but it was also not just about the book. Before he let go and moved back from Aronald, eyes kept low holding his self-control over himself in that moment. "Thanks." It soft near faint before he slowly steps away again. "I uh should get back to Case for now, but definitely gonna plan somethin' out to learn from you don't wanna just drop it on ya after all." Legs move please he begs as he steps away and retreats towards Casey's room. Nothing again Aronald he just needed the comforting presence Casey offered when he felt way too much for his own liking.

#muse| hamato rapheal #madamkezzie #aflockoffeathers #[ if you jump off a bridge its only cause i did first aflockoffeathers]#[ would it be too much to call you dad now? -aflockoffeathers]#[ 2012 verse]#muse interactions #ic reply #stayed qeued #(( raphs gonna have the lair smelling like lasagna for days XD))#((i didnt elebrate much but basically splinter remarked on somethings he going to give to Leo and raph got a bit hurt because its seems lik #the rest of them were really being considered but especially him cause daddy issues uwu))

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bonkie-barnes · 3 years

Text

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

#natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader #natasha romanoff x gn!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #my fic #natasha romanoff x reader

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ravenadottir · 2 years

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Sooooo ... s2, girlboss Lottie seems to have issues at the start in particular .... with the only women of color. I know later that she has it out for Chelsea at the party, but that's coz Chelsea exposed Lottie.

I'm not saying she's a racist because that's not something the game devs would ever write in for their characters, but she is very much white feminism to a t. I never really understood the Lottie love tbh and when you compare the love she gets from fandom to the hate Hope receives ....

I don't even know what I'm asking tbh, I think I just needed to vent.

i kind of realized lottie's impossible personality and characterization, and her hatred towards anyone that crosses her path and doesn't immediately gives her the paw when she asks, really early.

i didn't necessarily associated her poor people skills with race... not really. it's more about her thirst for being the most influential person in a group, and always holding the power somehow.

they happen to be women of color, because she doesn't accept chelsea fully, never becomes friends with jo and doesn't care for shannon either, so i don't think it's race motivated.

what i do think is... the radical fandom (people that care a lot about skin color) will always find a reason to hate on poc's, no matter what they do, and support the white character, no matter how awful they are.

"oh, but hope is possessive... marisol back stabbed lottie/mc, priya made a pass on a guy that wasn't hers..."

SO - DID - LOTTIE. all three. gary is treated like a doll she kicks around but doesn't let go because she doesn't want anyone else to play with him, she went behind marisol's back and kissed her guy before marisol did it with rocco, and she was already planning her pass on gary on the day of the welcome party for lucas and henrik, on day 5!

EVIDENCE that if hope's possessive, so is lottie. if marisol is a back stabber, so is lottie. if priya is a bitch (derogatory), so is lottie.

you can't just go around and select the characters you would like to love or hate based off skin color. lottie is such a bad friend and she doesn't give a flying fuck about mc, yet she's considered fierce because she's... angry?

ANGRY ≠ FIERCE

"oh, but they're just pixels, it's not that deep..." the number of times i've seen white players saying this, it truly makes my brain smooth!

the hatred towards poc's in the fandom and the hurting of the representation we craved for is very much real, so shut the fuck up because you're white and shouldn't be talking on behalf of people of color, thank you very much.

the part that frustrates me the most is that us, people of color, have been saying "yo, it's racist." and people are like "nah, brah, it's all good. it’s just pixels, it’s not that deep." and they're transparent looking. BITCH IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN, EYE-

sorry, that was a long ass rant and i got carried away... my point is, lottie might not be r*cist, but some of her supporters definitely are.

#litg #litg lottie #litg hope #litg marisol #litg priya #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2 #queue

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carelesswispe · 3 years

Note

heya! can I request how Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, and Yuri would court their crush? headcannons and fluff please :") also if there a character limit? (if you can't do Yuri, please replace him with Ashe) ty in advance </3

- 🍙

thank you for requesting! i had a lot of fun writing this ask and sorry if this took a little longer than expected ;; nevertheless, i hope you enjoyed this, jelly filled donut anon!

>genre: fluff with some angst if you squint (mostly for dimitri and edelgard's part)

>warnings: slight mentions of fighting, slight spoilers for the events of fire emblem three houses, some angst

>pairings: dimitri x reader (gn), edelgard x reader (gn), claude x reader (gn), yuri x reader (gn)

Dimitri

Hh he's the loml

I feel like he would only start to court anyone after the five-year timeskip due to the guilt of the tragedy Duscur and the pent up emotions he’s kept bottled up. The fact that he hasn’t overcome his trauma would probably give him the need to distance himself from the one he has feelings with <\\3

Of course, no one’s able to resist the pull of love and despite his irrational thoughts that tell him to distance himself from you, the thoughts that tell him to stay with you were stronger, the feeling that you give him was like a breath of fresh air in the suffocating miasma of his guilt and trauma which gave him the strength to carry on.

But once the war is finally over and he’s sorted out his feelings for you, the first thing he would do is to see you; to finally let you know how he feels...and maybe even propose you to stay by his side forever--

As for courting you, after so many years of killing and brutal murder, I think that Dimitri would be quite awkward in expressing his feelings for you, after having bottled them up for so long.

He would get flustered easily from the little things you do or say to him but still deliver the smoothest compliments as if it was second nature. Just like he always has in the academy, if not, smoother.

If you were to bring this up to him, he would try to deny it with a flushed face, causing him to be hyper-aware of the little things that he used to say with a nonchalant attitude from then on...how adorable

Dimitri is probably not the most romantic man with having basically no experience with relationships and all and would resort to consulting, albeit after much pestering, Sylvain for relationship advice.

It was quite cute though, seeing this grown man trying to be romantic but failing, looking like a teen with his first crush. Although, that may not be far from the truth.

Of course, after failing to pull off any of the ridiculous date ideas Sylvain proposed to him for the umpteenth time, Dimitri decided to do things his own way, even if it meant stumbling around like a newborn deer.

Dimitri’s idea of a romantic date is probably a bit odd...after all, this is coming from the same man who thought that a dagger is a great parting gift. He would take you to shop around for things you might like, wanting to show you that he would grant you anything you desired. And...while he’s at it, he might buy you a weapon of your liking--

After shopping, he’d treat you to a meal while you’re at it. Although he may not care for the flavours of food, seeing you eat your favorite foods with a delighted expression is enough to make the food that much more appetizing.

Being a king, Dimitri would most likely be very busy, filling up paperwork and all and so going out often isn’t something he could afford to do. In order to make up for that, the free time that he does get is all spent with you. Even for a little while, being with you does take away some of the stress that comes with the amount of responsibility on his shoulders.

Whether it be sharing a cup of tea or simply enjoying yourselves in each other’s company, Dimitri is satisfied to spend any time with you

Edelgard

Similar to Dimitri, I feel like Edelgard wouldn’t want to think about feelings of love so soon as long as she hasn’t fulfilled her mission since she wouldn’t want to let her emotions to obstruct her conquest at all, as baseless as those worries might be

However, this doesn’t mean that she would be able to control these feelings of hers with perfect success. After all, try as she might, she’s still a human

Even though she can deny her feelings for you, she can’t deny the comfort your company gives her

Having tea together or even just spending any amount of time with you gives her the break she needs from her burdens she’s imposed upon herself and in times like these, it reminds her of the people she wants to be stronger to protect

Conversations with her mostly consist of her plans and motivations for her cause but outside of that, she also enjoys being able to indulge herself in some much needed rest and she feels like she could share anything with you.

Well, perhaps not her family history but she finds herself revealing the sides that she hid from the public.

Occasionally, she would vent out her feelings of frustration to you, perhaps impersonating and imitating the words of the person who had irritated her

Even if it’s for a little while, she finds herself being able to act like a child or to let loose without fear of being judged around you and it reminds her that she’s not alone in this conquest of hers. And that fact alone comforts her. If you’re by her side, even the rockiest of roads seem like a cake walk as long as you’re here for her.

After the war, she would subtly propose a future with the two of you where you and her could pave the way for the new future of the empire. And when you don’t get what she’s hinting at, she would just throw whatever inhibitions she had out of the window and just tell you in a more direct fashion

Although she fears rejection, she’d rather say out her feelings than to keep it trapped for any longer.

As the emperor, Edelgard is very busy. Despite this, for some reason, she finds herself sneaking away from Hubert’s unrelenting supervision from time to time just to spend time with you.

She finds herself giving the pettiest excuses to go on a date with you whenever her tight schedule has even the tiniest opening.

To her, spending time with you reminds her that she is not only Edelgard Von Hresvelg, the Emperor but El.

However, on occasions where she is unable to slip away from her aide’s watchful eye or whenever she has to go on a trip where she will be away from you for long periods of time, as soon as she is freed from her duties, she will immediately come see you, hopefully plan a vacation together away from all her responsibilities, even for a little while.

Speaking of vacations, this will be a regular occurrence between the two of you. Such vacations range from going out of the empire for some sightseeing to a simple staycation, relishing in each other’s company.

Claude

Unlike the previous two, I feel like Claude, although not necessarily looking for a relationship before the timeskip, he wouldn’t be too opposed to the idea if he falls in love.

But maybe if it's before the timeskip, the relationship between the two of you would be more casual than anything, just enjoying the moment rather than looking into the future. Of course, he would like to spend the rest of his days with you but it's more of a matter of whether that could be possible or not due to the uncertainty of the future.

Dates before the timeskip would consist of fun little lunch dates in the cafeteria, hanging out to the library afterwards.

Most of your dates together were spontaneous, Claude being the one to initiate it first.

Like you two could be chilling, minding your own business, being content in each others’ presence one minute and pranking the entirety of the monastery in another.

Every time the two of you got together, everyone started to go on full alert mode, fully expecting an explosion somewhere or something along the lines of that. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time…

After the timeskip, dates with him don’t really change much...on the surface. In reality, Claude puts more effort into each date, not that he hadn’t before.

It’s just that now, the more time he spends with you, the more certain he is that he wants you to stay by his side, forever.

These dates were comparatively tame as compared to before the timeskip, with him being more mature and responsible now, not wanting to take unnecessary risks now that he’s seen many of his followers come and go, he wouldn’t want you to be like them.

Expect calm candlelit dinners for most of the dates since he tries to reserve the evening for you, maybe going on a stroll around the kingdom, checking up on the state of his citizens with you.

Right, speaking of dinners, during dinner, he would tell the most interesting stories of times when he left the kingdom for important matters and you weren’t able to come along, often bringing home a trinket of sorts which reminded him of you.

I feel like on these trips, he would just pick up random stuff that caught his eye and thought you’d might like, looking forward to seeing your expression upon receiving his gift to you. He gets a little too excited sometimes and goes...overboard, buying WAY too much. On the bright side, now that you got him all fired up, he’ll do his best to rush home to you.

As much as possible, he invites you to go with him to the many many festivals in the kingdom just so that you wouldn’t get bored with just eating out with him. (not that you ever would) and plus, he enjoys seeing the different stalls and booths set up with you.

Yuri

Yuri is quite hard to get close to since he’s the leader of the underworld and all. And even if you do, he puts up a ridiculously high wall when he feels as if you take an interest in him in something other than a friend.

All these years of distrust had given him no choice but to surround himself with various walls. And should you try to break down these walls, he would panic and distance himself from you, anything to make you realise that he shouldn’t be the one to receive your affection. Classic romance novel moment

Of course, you persist and stay there for him anyway, maybe only just pushing it but not to the point where it gets uncomfortable for him. After the years, going through tough situations with you by his side especially when he needed it the most, without realising it, he had a spot for you on his previously cold heart. Maybe it had always been there, maybe not, he didn’t really know anymore.

When you two finally go out together, it comes out as something that was going to happen anyway to the other members of the Ashen Rats Wolves who, don’t even bother to act surprised, come on, even Constance saw it coming, Yuri, you didn’t fool anybody.

Dates with Yuri are always new and exciting, going out on undercover missions together, travelling across Fódlan. Yuri tries to discourage you from coming along because of the danger of each one of his missions but the more he refuses, the more you insist so after a while, he gets the hint that he won’t be able to stop you and eventually just invites you whenever he has to go on long missions without having you finding out about it on your own.

As much as he cares about each and every single one of his subjects in the underworld, being the lord of the underground isn’t exactly the most relaxing or safest job out there and sometimes he just needs a break from all that. Luckily, you’re there to give him some peace of mind. Just by having you by his side, he feels as if he’s transported into another world, a reverie away from all the dangers of his job. Even a protector needs someone to protect him, you know? And he trusts you. He trusts that you would always be there to protect him. Since you were there for him through thick and thin all this time.

You both got each other’s backs

(i wrote WAY too much for Yuri since man i had a wild Yuri phase and i still do and i am just RELIVING IT as i write this)

#fe3h dimitri #fe3h yuri #fe3h claude #fe3h edelgard #fe3h headcanons #fe3h x reader #Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd x reader #edelgard von hresvelg x reader #claude von riegan x reader #yuri leclerc x reader

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