#I don’t have a proper name for this au uh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lcvclywon · 7 days

Text

─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET

back to masterlist

playlist

where...

Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.

pairing ── jake x female reader

genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic

wc ── 16.6k

featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids

warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot

DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction

Beep beep beep!

Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters?

Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck.

Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.

You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem.

“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you.

Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?”

“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…”

You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress.

“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change

“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face.

“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.”

“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt.

“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?”

“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.

“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.

“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night.

And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun.

Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang.

And well Jake on the other hand,

I think I just slept with Jake Sim

Kazuha Nakamura

EXCUSE ME

Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT

Kazuha Nakamura

SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.

STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms

Kazuha Nakamura

Okay but was it good at least?

You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity.

Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises.

Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.

“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.

“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed

“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”

“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!”

From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it.

“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back

“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room

Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”

“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”

“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it)

“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?”

“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”

“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”

Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot?

“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.

Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.

“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?”

“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”

You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”

Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”

And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence.

Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?”

“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips

“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”

He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”

“Yeah but-”

“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”

You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”

“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink

“Yeah, an- wait what?”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now”

You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.”

“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?”

This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy.

“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen.

“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.”

“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?”

Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well.

“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”

“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.

Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.

“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows

“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips

“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness.

God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things.

“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?”

“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”

“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically

“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers.

Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare.

Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.

“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen.

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Cool! So this Friday?

What the hell did you just get yourself into

Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)

Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves.

“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left.

“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one.

“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”

“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door.

To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself.

“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”

Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here”

“Well I guess that’s not too surprising”

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”

“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile

“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school”

“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily

“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie

“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.

Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.”

“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?”

Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that.

“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic

“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop

“Why?”

“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri

“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.

He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.

Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:

Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways.

Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him:

He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla

He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least

Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.

He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.

It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you.

But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant.

Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.

“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.

Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”

Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”

“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.

“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.

“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave

“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.

“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”

“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered.

Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”

“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”

“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”

Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”

Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.

Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?”

“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh.

“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?

“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories.

“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words.

“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed.

“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”

“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly

Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”

“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?

Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”

“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared?

“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”

“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”

“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun”

“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours.

“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”

“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”

You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.

“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour”

“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?”

“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening.

“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes.

“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)

He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out.

“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump.

“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to speed walk down the hallway.

For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.

“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt.

“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers.

“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.”

“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen.

Jake Sim (Hookup)

Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh

Jake Sim (Hookup)

don’t bring a jacket lmao

You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.

“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door.

Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason.

The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.

A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side.

“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.

“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you.

“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle.

“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”

Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.”

Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?”

“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.

“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented

“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-”

“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you.

You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”

Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can.

Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong?

Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.

“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle

“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.

Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake.

“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground.

Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.

The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck.

You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-

Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?

Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.

A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?

Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not.

You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.

“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.

“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”

“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.

You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?

You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.

God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.

“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.

“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)

“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”

“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”

“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”

“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.

“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”

“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”

“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.

You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”

You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.”

Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.

“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.

“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too?

It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.

“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”

Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”

You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.

“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.

“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.

“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.

“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.

Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.

fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.

“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.

He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”

Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.

“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking

“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages.

“Not this, I mean us.”

“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you.

“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart.

“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out

“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.

“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.

“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself.

As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you.

Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake.

Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk.

“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist.

“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”

Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?”

“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check “9:30.”

Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!”

Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him.

“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush.

You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim.

Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him.

Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore.

Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom.

“Hey YN.”

“Oh, Jake hi…”

“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.

“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh.

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things?

You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”

Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period?

“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class.

The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat.

Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today?

Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess?

Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).

“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”

“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh.

“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans.

Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could.

“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place.

“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled

“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself.

“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”

And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well.

“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music.

“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror.

Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?

Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open.

“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side.

“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his.

“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.

“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”

“Not helping.” you deadpanned

“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?”

This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state.

After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”

“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle

“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?”

“But your hoodie-”

“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room.

The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.”

“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat.

Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.

“Yes?”

“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”

“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked.

“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel.

“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.

To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were:

The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing

The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing.

You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon:

“You didn’t kiss me.”

Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”

“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”

“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”

“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”

“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative.

“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing?

“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now

“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.

“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended

“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”

No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.

The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.

“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup

Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up

“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.

“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.”

God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.

“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.

“fuck…” you both thought.

“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly.

“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight”

“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk.

“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight.

“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”

“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”

Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face.

Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”

“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss.

Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip.

This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight.

Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then…

You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you.

Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it.

“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.”

You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.

“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness

“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-”

“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude?

“Yeah sure sounds like it”

“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend”

“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?”

“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck”

“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember

“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.”

God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.”

“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!”

“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that.

Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.

“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.”

“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered

“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”

“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.

“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.

Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.

Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.

This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon.

You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you.

“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”

“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.

“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in.

“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard

“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?”

And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”

“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”

“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you

“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”

Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”

“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted

“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug

Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.

“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”

This was a bad idea.

You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night.

Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space.

You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again.

You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each.

The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post.

“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers.

After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.

Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd.

Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team.

Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”

“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”

“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor.

Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”

“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause.

“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”

“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.

“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.

“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”

One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak.

“Please say something” you winced.

“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”

“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring.

“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime.

“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”

“Do what?”

“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices.

Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement.

“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?”

“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter.

Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?

thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !

taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus @junityy @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)

601 notes · View notes

sinner-as-saint · 10 months

Text

you're no good for me.

Bucky x Reader AU

Run-through: After leaving a well-paying job you hated, you took the money you had saved and decided to roam around Europe: Paris, Monaco, Italy, Greece, trying to find a new purpose in life. That’s when you meet this drop dead gorgeous older man named Bucky. He’s respectful, funny, kind, flirty, and has a nice yacht. Honestly, he’s all you need at the moment. And together, the two of you embark on a journey that has potential to last a lifetime.

Themes: age gap (reader is in her twenties), fluff, sugar daddy!bucky (basically), smut, praise kink, nicknames: princess, baby girl, daddy kink, soft!dom!bucky, HEA.

a/n: inspired by this ask. Thank you @aquariusbarnes

“I guess I never realised solo travelling could get so… lonely, you know?”

You said quietly to your best friend on the phone while you browsed through second-hand books in a small, cosy little bookstore you found while staying in Italy for the week.

“Don’t get me wrong,” You chuckled, “I desperately needed this and I needed to get out of the city but, this is not doing what it should. All I do is eat, sleep, shop, and I have no one to talk to. I guess I can’t even make new friends anymore.”

Your friend sighed, “Of course you can! You should meet new people. Go to a bar, wear something nice, and talk to some guy. Seriously, get some!”

You laughed quietly. “I’m tired of the bar or club thing. That’s what we usually do in the city.” You groaned. “I need something new, and exciting, and-,”

A deep voice spoke from somewhere behind you. “Excuse me, miss.”

You turned around and had to blink a few times to register the sight in front of you. A god of a man. Tall. Well dressed in loose pants, white tank top and a delicious light blue shirt left open to show off his muscular chest. He had longish hair, tied neatly in a low bun. Pretty face, ocean blue eyes. Sharp jaw. And a slight smirk on his pink lips.

He looked older, maybe in his early forties? He radiated elegant masculinity. Very much old money. He looked like he belonged in some fashion show, or the cover of a magazine.

“Uh, I’ll call you in a bit.” You quickly ended the call and gave the man your full attention. “Hello.” You said softly, sounding a little confused as to why would a man like that even stop and talk to anyone.

The man gave you a stunning smile. “I noticed you dropped this.” He held out his hand and there was your tiny purse, in the palm of his large, veiny hands.

“Oh.” You sounded a little embarrassed as you quickly took it from him. “Thank you.” You said, looking up and meeting his dangerously enticing stare.

“Wow,” He said, with a little nervous chuckle. “You’re beautiful.” You froze at that and then he quickly added, “I’m sorry if that was too forward. It’s just… you really are beautiful.” He sounded so sincere, and you hadn’t had a proper conversation with anyone in weeks so you didn’t know how to act.

“Oh, um,” You let out a nervous chuckle too as you looked down at your shoes, embarrassed. “Thank you.” Then you added as a nervous ramble, “I think you’re really beautiful too.”

He smiled, then let out a little laugh which made your skin tingle in the best ways. He raised a perfect eyebrow and asked in his silky smooth, deep voice, “Then how about us beautiful people go get a drink and get to know each other a little better?”

You actually felt your face get really hot as you laughed, “So this is the part where I’ll wake up tomorrow and find out you took my kidney?”

He chuckled. “No, no kidneys will be taken, I promise.” Then he gave you a pretty smile, “Just one drink. You’re too beautiful for me not to steal an hour or two from your day. Else, I’m gonna regret it my whole life.”

“I see you get your way in and out of everything by being a smooth flirt, huh?”

You gave in. And said yes to having a drink with him.

—

One drink turned into a late lunch, then afternoon tea, then an early dinner. The conversation flowed so easily it surprised you. He told you mostly everything about him. You noted that his name was Bucky, he was in his forties, no immediate family as they had all unfortunately passed, he was a bachelor, a businessman, currently taking some months off work to travel and sail across Europe on his yacht.

While on a quick bathroom break, you googled him just to confirm and sure enough, he wasn’t lying. Also, the guy was much more wealthy than he let on. But you liked that. You hated men who bragged constantly.

When it was your turn to give him your back story, you were just as transparent as he was. You mentioned where you were from, how you moved to the city after uni once you found a decent job. You mentioned how although the job paid really well, you quickly realised that being a PA isn’t as glamorous as in the movies or books, but in fact so stressful and anxiety-ridden. So you quickly began hating your job and life. Hence the resignation letter and the sudden tickets to Europe.

“So, you’re here all alone? That’s brave I think.” He said, after you were done narrating your story.

You scoffed before taking a sip of coffee, “No, it's quite the opposite.” You argued, defeatedly. “I couldn’t handle it and I just got up and left. I quite literally packed my stuff and ran away from the city. And now I’m just roaming around, trying to see if I can find a new purpose, I suppose. That’s the opposite of brave. If I were brave I’d face it properly. Like an adult.” Your shoulders drooped down a little.

“Hey,” He said softly. Then reached for your hand and held it in between both of his warm palms.

This was the first time in the past hours where he touched you. He’d been so respectful so far, not once getting too close. But right now, as he held your hand lovingly and as his thumb gently caressed your knuckles, you realised you loved having your hand held by him.

“That’s not true at all.” He said. “You were strong enough to walk away from a situation you no longer wanted to be in, do you realise how brave that is?”

His voice was so understanding and soft, you immediately melted.

He continued, “I mean, you’re braver than me when I was twenty something.” He chuckled at the memory, “My father had just passed, and I was suddenly responsible for the family businesses. And…” He sighed, “How I wish I could’ve packed a suitcase and travel at that age, but I couldn’t. I was so lost at that time too.”

You watched him as he spoke. The intelligence and experience in his eyes. The crinkles by his pretty eyes as he smiled at something he remembered from the past. The sad smile when he mentioned his now dead family. He seemed older and wiser than his age.

“What I’m trying to say here is that you’re so young. This is your time to be selfish with your years. You don’t like a job? Leave it, find another. You don’t want to be in the city? Leave that too, travel the world. Of course, you must have some sort of makeshift plan of where you might want to be in the next five or ten years, but for the most part, live for right now.” He gave you an enchanting smile. “So tell me, where do you want to be right now?”

The sky began to turn darker. The golden lights from the restaurant made his eyes look magical. Deep blue, and shining like jewels. The chain around his neck caught the light and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to yank on it with your teeth…

Woah. Where did that come from?

“Just… away. For everything.” You answered, truthfully. Wasn’t that what you were looking for? An escape? Something new and exciting. And right now with your hand in Bucky’s warm ones, this felt new and exciting. And you selfishly wanted it. You wanted this.

“Come with me. Just for tonight. We won’t sail too far from the docks, I promise.” He said, holding your hand firmly in his. “I’ll bring you back tomorrow morning. Kidney and all still in place.” He teased.

You laughed. And said yes because fuck it.

—

Bucky walked with you till your hotel, and waited downstairs in the lobby while you got your things for the night. Once you met him back downstairs, he offered to carry your backpack while the two of you walked towards the docks.

Once you reached his yacht, you had to refrain from dropping your jaw. “Oh, she’s pretty.” You whispered as he held your hand and helped you onto it.

He smiled and said, “She’s my favourite.” Because of course he owned other luxury yachts.

The more steps you took inside the boat, the more mesmerised you got. He had a full staff even. Bucky gave you a quick tour, showed you the bar, the hot tubs, the main deck, and all. Then led you to a spacious bedroom.

“Get settled,” He said, “I’m just gonna get us out a bit further into the water.” He traced a gentle finger down your cheek and you found yourself nodding immediately. Then he paused, and said, “If you don’t wanna be down here alone, come find me at the helm. Okay, babygirl?”

You froze for just a fraction of a moment, then quickly smiled and nodded again. Bucky left with a wink and once the door closed behind him, you let out a loud sigh. Fuck, he was so dreamy.

Once he left and you explored the room a little bit, you realised you didn’t in fact want to be here all alone. So as the boat moved smoothly, you took a quick shower, got changed into your swimsuit, with a flowy beach cover up and went to find Bucky.

Finding the helm was easy. On your way there, you saw two staff members and they both smiled at you. For a moment you wondered if they were thinking of you as just another young girl on a rich man’s boat. Oh well, whatever.

You found Bucky standing in the middle of the area, facing multiple screens and the helm itself and so many buttons and switches it made your brain hurt.

“Hello captain.” You said, stepping closer to him. The sun was setting now, and it was all orange and pink, quickly becoming dark blue.

Bucky gave you a bright smile, “Hello you.” He grabbed your hand and placed it on the helm, “Here,” He came up and stood right behind you, both of you steering the boat, “There you go, keep it straight. Just like that, see?”

You laughed, while your heart raced both at the excitement of manoeuvring such a giant boat, but also because of how close Bucky was. Your back was right against his chest, but he was still keeping a good inch or two between your bodies.

“Alright,” He said after a while, “We’ll stop here for tonight. Come, the stars look great from the deck.”

He held your hand and led you out onto the spotlessly clean, spacious main deck. There was a circular fireplace in the middle, surrounded by sofas and a large hot tub in the corner. And the view… oh the view was to die for. The moment Bucky let go of your hand, you rushed to look over the handrail. The water reflected the colours of the sunset, and the sky. The stars began twinkling, the more you looked the more of them you found. The light summer breeze was just cool enough.

“It’s so beautiful out here.” You whispered, looking over at the shore, where more and more lights were turning on. You could see the place at which you’d just had dinner. You could also see the bookstore if you squinted. Just then, you felt a warmth press up against you.

You smiled as Bucky wrapped his arms around you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder and holding you close. “Just like you, baby girl.” He whispered into your ear.

You froze again, a familiar warmth washing over you at the nickname. A tingling sensation between your things which made you want to clench them together. Bucky must've felt the way you tensed up because he pulled away immediately.

“I didn’t mean to make you-,”

You cut him off quickly as you turned to face him, “Oh no, no. I don’t mind that.” You laughed, now a little shy. “It’s just that,” You couldn’t look at his pretty face as you admitted, “you make me a little nervous.”

He laughed at that, and wrapped his arms around you once again. “Do I?” He teased.

You hid your face by shoving it into the crook of his neck, which made him laugh even more. You couldn’t help but breathe in his scent. Fuck, it had been messing with you the whole day almost. He smelt like sin. Like pure, dangerous sin. But then he had that sweet, bright smile. And the contrast was making you dizzy.

“Don’t hide from me, baby.” He held the back of your neck gently as he pulled your face back so he could look at you.

You almost kissed him right there and then. He looked so good in this golden sunset. But you didn’t want to seem too desperate so you-

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, cutting off whatever you’d been thinking about. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.” He admitted, with a handsome smirk. “So, can I? Please?” He gave you the softest puppy dog look ever. And you melted.

You nodded once and the next thing you knew, he pushed you against the handrail and kissed you deeply. Lips soft against your own, his tongue stroking yours in a way that made you want to ride him until the sun came up the next morning. His hand remained at your waist, the other holding your head gently as he kissed you even deeper.

“Fuck,” He groaned against your lips. “Does all of you tastes just as sweet as your mouth, babygirl?” He chuckled when you whined and squirmed. “I can’t wait to find out.” He whispered before kissing you again.

Your brain was all foggy with desire. Your body warm and tingly under his touch. His mouth left yours and he kissed down your chin, and all over your neck and collarbones before kissing your lips again. “Bucky,” You gasped into the kiss when you felt his hand moving downward, towards your inner thighs.

“Too much, baby?” He asked, pulling away to look down into your eager eyes. “Are we moving too fast?”

You smiled up at him, “No. This is okay.” You grabbed his wrist and moved his hand even closer to where you desperately needed him. The thin swimsuit was all that separated his hand from the wetness accumulating at your core.

He held your stare as he moved the fabric to the side and carefully touched your throbbing clit. You squirmed, grinding against his fingers slowly. He chuckled, “Oh?” He smeared your wetness around a little more, “All that for me? Hmm?” He leaned in and kissed the corner of your mouth while his fingers moved up and down your wet slit. “Have you been this wet the whole time we were together?”

You couldn’t help but whisper a quiet, “Yes…”

He smirked, kissing your skin. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? So unfair of you to keep this from me, babygirl.” He carefully slid a finger inside you, moving it in and out of you so slowly you couldn’t help but moan. “I would’ve taken care of you much sooner had I known you were dripping wet for me this whole time.”

You whined again at the sound of his shameless words. “Please…” You begged.

Bucky pulled away to look right into your eyes as he slid another finger inside you, moving both of them in and out of you while his thumb toyed with your clit. “Please what, baby?”

You squirmed, holding onto him for dear life while moving your hips in time with his fingers. “Please,” You begged again.

He smirked, “Use your words, princess.” He cooed. “Come on, tell daddy what you want and he’ll give it to you, baby.”

You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning too loud, afraid the staff might hear what a dirty young woman you were being. “I want to come, please.” You whispered, face burning at the lust in your voice.

Bucky smiled in triumph. “There, wasn’t that easy?” He kissed your lips again, “Of course you can come, babygirl. You’ve been so good all day,” He said, “So kind and polite,” He chuckled, “Pretending like you didn’t want to climb into my lap anytime you looked into my eyes.”

You gasped, both in pleasure as his fingers touched a sensitive spot, but also because he had just read you like a book.

Bucky smirked. “What? You think I didn’t see it?” He leaned closer, lips brushing against your open mouth as he spoke, “I saw the way you looked at me. Longing and desire in your eyes. You just want to be taken care of. Just want a man to hold you and tell you it’s all gonna be okay and that you’re safe? Hmm?”

His fingers brought you right to that edge. You were a whimpering mess by then, his words making you even more dizzy.

“Look at me, baby.” When you did look up at him, he smiled softly down at you, “It’s okay babygirl, you’re with daddy now. You’re safe, and I’m gonna take care of you. Okay? Now, can you be my good girl and come for me? Hmm? Can you do that for daddy, baby?”

You came with a loud whimper, coming undone all over his fingers. Bucky watched you in awe, lips parted as he breathed deeper along with you.

“That’s a good girl,” He whispered, leaning in for a kiss. “You are so beautiful, babygirl.”

You kissed him back with even more passion than before, and your hands began exploring his body. His chest, down to his toned stomach, and further down… but then he stopped you by grabbing your wrists.

“Later, baby. I don’t want to rush.” He said. “I’m gonna take my time with you.” He promised. “Now come on, get in the tub. Don’t want you to get too chilly.” He pointed towards the tub and you began walking towards it. When you turned around you found him walking in the other direction, towards the mini bar.

You turned back around and headed over to the tub finally. You took the beach cover off and stepped in, nearly squealing with how perfectly hot the water was. Once you took your seat and submerged yourself till your shoulders, you noticed Bucky walked over with champagne flutes and a champagne bottle.

But not just that. He was also not wearing anything other than tight black boxers which left very little to the imagination. You had to turn your head just so you’d look away from the gorgeousness that was this man in front of you.

But of course, he caught the look. “Don’t look away, babygirl.” He said as he stepped in and sat down next to you, his thigh rubbing against yours, “You can look. I don’t mind.” He smirked, and winked at you before popping open the champagne.

He handed you a flute filled with bubbles and poured one for himself, set the bottle aside and clinked your flutes together. You each took a sip and you couldn’t help but close your eyes and moan at the taste. Expensive champagne always tasted heavenly.

When you opened your eyes again you found Bucky looking at you intently.

You smirked and asked, “What?”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you onto his lap. You put up no resistance as you settled onto his thighs, an arm around his neck. “Nothing. Just thinking about how you’ll moan with other things in your mouth.”

You chuckled. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” You replied, starting to get a little more playful around him.

He raised an eyebrow, “Oh?” Then leaned in and kissed your neck, making you giggle and pull away. “You’re ticklish I see.”

“Please don’t.” You yelped, and laughed as he tickled you even more. Champagne splashed everywhere, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind. “Stop!” You cried out in between uncontrollable giggles. Right as you were about to fall off his lap, he finally stopped. Kissing your face multiple times to make up for the tickle attack. Once you calmed down you said, “You’re mean. I think I wanna get off your boat now.” You teased.

Bucky tightened his arms around you. “No,” He groaned playfully, “I’m sorry, I’ll make up for it. Right now, I promise.”

One moment you were on his lap, and the next he was lifting you up and sitting you down on the edge of the tub. The handrail was right behind you to support your back, and you giggled as Bucky knelt in the warm water, right in between your thighs.

“What if someone sees?” You asked, looking around to see if you’d find some of the staff members around the deck.

Bucky placed both of his hands on your things and got closer to you. “They won’t.” He assured you. “Now come on, spread those legs for daddy.” He demanded, and you obeyed.

You leaned back into the handrail and parted your legs. Bucky smirked, grabbing the backs of your knees to pull you closer, lowering himself and leaning in until his mouth was right above your core.

“Don’t even try to hide your moans from me. You hear me?” He questioned, holding your stare.

You nodded.

“Say ‘yes daddy’.”

You squirmed, pushing your hips closer to his mouth involuntarily. “Yes, daddy…” Your words ended on a gasp as he placed his mouth down and licked along your slit through the fabric of your swimsuit.

He placed a soft kiss right over your throbbing clit before he finally slid the thin fabric to the side and looked up at you, held your stare as his wet tongue licked down your folds. He moaned loudly as he tasted you. “Knew you’d taste like heaven.” He murmured, going in for more. Eager and impatient to make you come all over his tongue.

Your hands immediately grabbed the back of his neck, fingers sliding into his hair and gently messing up his neatly tied bun. You giggled at the sight, “I’m sorry I’m messing up your hair.” You whispered, followed by gasps of pleasure as he ate you out relentlessly.

Bucky pulled away for a moment, looking up at you. “I must be doing terrible if you can still speak coherent sentences, babygirl.” He smirked. “I’m sorry, let me do a better job. Hmm?”

You opened your mouth to tell him that he was just perfect but you ended up whining loudly instead as he parted your wet lips and pushed his tongue deeper into you. You threw your head back, resting it on the handrail as you moaned shamelessly, occasionally giggling as his fingers all over your thighs made you slightly ticklish.

His warm tongue stroked you so perfectly, and Bucky growled as you lost control, moving your hips instinctively against his mouth as you chased that feeling of pure bliss.

You whined loudly, goosebumps all over your body. You felt tingles shooting through you as his tongue teased you incessantly. Your fingers tugged harder on his hair, messing it up even more.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” He murmured, before moving his mouth upward to suck on your throbbing clit. “You look so pretty like this, baby. All open for me to taste, whining and whimpering…” He playfully bit your inner thigh, “What is it?” He asked as another loud moan escaped your mouth. “Too much? You want to come? You want more? What is it, huh? Tell daddy what you want.”

You just looked down at him, whimpering as you tugged harder on his hair, trying to get his mouth back on you. Your reaction made Bucky chuckle.

“No,” He cooed, “Use your words, baby.”

Damn him.

“Oh please,” You whined, “I want you. I want your mouth… please daddy,” You cried out, trying to clench or rub your thighs together for some kind of friction but his muscular body being between them stopped you from doing that.

Seeing your desperation only deepened his smirk, and increased the mischief in his eyes. “Such a good girl,” He murmured, biting down on your inner thigh before gently pushing his tongue inside of you again. You whimpered under his agonisingly soft touch.

Bucky looked up at you as he teased you with his tongue, the intensity of his gaze making you tremble. The sky was getting darker, the stars shining more and more now. And yet, you couldn’t look away from his ocean blue eyes.

“You’re all mine, babygirl…” he whispered, thrusting his tongue deeper into you. You moaned and whimpered, your body getting warmer and warmer with each touch of his tongue. “Say it.” He demanded, licking up and down your slit, making you grind on his tongue. “Tell me you’ll be mine. Tell me you’re daddy’s good girl.”

You cried out, “I’m daddy’s good girl…” You felt your walls tighten around nothing, and you knew you were close.

Bucky could tell as well. “Then come for daddy, babygirl.” He whispered against your skin before biting down on your inner thigh as you whined under him.

You could only moan and whimper as he kept licking deeper into you. You felt him quicken his pace and you felt the pressure building up in between your hips until you couldn’t handle it anymore and you came undone all over his lips, moaning and whimpering. Humming in satisfaction, Bucky kissed his way up your body again, until he reached your mouth. Carefully, he pulled back into the tub and on his lap as he kissed you deeply.

The warm water felt heavenly, but nowhere near how good his tongue had felt just seconds ago. You sighed in pleasure through the kiss, and you felt him smiling against your lips before he pulled away to look at you.

“Where have you been all my life?” He asked, looking no less than a god in that tub. The soft lights made his eyes look ethereal. The darkening sky as a background made him look even more godly.

You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you straddled him. “Stuck in a city I don’t like. Doing a job I hated. Surrounded by people I no longer could relate to.” You joked, hiding the painful truth in your words.

Of course, he caught the sadness in your eyes. “Well, you’re here with me right now. Forget about the city, the job, and the people.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead to yours, he said, “It’s just you and me right now, princess. Just us, and no one else.”

You smiled, closing your eyes. Warmth from the bubbling water, warmth from his body, the cool breeze, the scent of summer and excitement in the air, it all surrounded you and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

“More champagne, baby?” He asked, pulling away.

“No,” You said, giving him a look he knew all too well. “How about we go inside now?”

Bucky smirked, already moving to grab towels. “Whatever the princess wants.”

—

You and Bucky made a quick stop in the kitchen found in the lower levels of his yacht, to grab some snacks. You held on to your chocolate fondue and strawberries while he held the other goods. And once you made it to the lovely bedroom, the two of you ended up lounging on the bed, just eating and talking about random stuff.

“Wait,” You said, swallowing down a mouthful of rich chocolate and strawberry. “You haven’t been in a relationship in over ten years? A whole decade?” You questioned, right after he finished telling you about how he hadn’t.

Bucky gave you a funny look. “I’m a busy man, babygirl. I didn’t have much time.”

You frowned, confused. “Well surely you’ve liked someone. Or are you too busy to have a crush and all that?”

He chuckled, and you along with him. “No, I haven’t. I guess it’s been just work and more work.”

You sighed and shrugged, reaching for another juicy strawberry, “I can’t even judge you, I haven’t been dating for years either. My last relationship…” You trailed off, “It doesn’t matter, I-,”

Bucky cut you off by grabbing your arm and pulling you on top of him, making you straddle him again. “No, it matters. Tell me what happened.” His tone was serious, caring, and attentive.

You sighed again, “Well, it ended badly. We were both too young I suppose, and then he cheated and we were on and off for a while before I ended it a few years ago.”

Bucky cupped your face, “You deserve so much better than that, baby. You hear me?”

You nodded, smiling down at him. “Look at me now,” You teased, then finally took a bite out of the strawberry, unintentionally moaning. “Oh fuck…” You whined, “This might be the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.” You said.

Bucky smirked, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer, “You know, I could give you something even better to put in your mouth, princess.”

You swallowed your fruit and smirked down at him. “Oh?” You played along. “What’s that?”

He caressed your cheek lovingly, “Want daddy to show you?” You nodded enthusiastically. And he said, “Okay, get on your knees, baby.”

You shifted from his lap to kneel in between his legs and in the meantime, Bucky was undoing the towel from around his waist. The sight of his erection had you almost begging just so you could have a taste.

“Do you want to take daddy in your mouth and make him feel good, princess? Hmm?” He gently grabbed your chin so you couldn’t look away from him. “Do you want to make daddy come? Make him feel so good that he fills your mouth with his come, baby?”

You nodded quickly, “Yes. I do.” You couldn’t calm your racing heart as you watched Bucky lean back into the pillows, making himself comfortable while you knelt in between his muscular thighs, his cock pointing up… looking too good not to wrap your mouth around it.

“Go on then, baby.” Bucky’s hand slid into your hair as you leaned down and took him into your mouth.

You moaned, with Bucky’s cock in your mouth, at how good he felt. Warm, thick, veiny.

“Your mouth feels so good, princess,” Bucky cooed, tugging on your hair gently. You looked up at him and took him even further into your mouth. “There we go,” He gasped, “Careful baby, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

You whined, that caring tone of his driving you insane. Bucky held your head gently and slowly pushed himself deeper into your mouth. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, babygirl. You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth.” He said as you took him in until he hit the back of your throat. “Now be a good girl, and make daddy come.”

You did as he asked, moaning around his cock and using your hand to play with what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

“Oh princess, you’re so good to daddy.”

Bucky’s groans and moans were delightful. His head thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted slightly as he breathed deeply, occasionally grunting or moaning while you worked to make him come.

“Just like that, babygirl, come on make me come in that pretty mouth.”

You could feel the wetness starting to leak from you again. Fuck, this was so hot. The sounds he made, the sounds your mouth made, the desire and warmth washing over you… it was all too much.

You teased his tip with your tongue, alternating between sucking on it and taking him deep in and out of your mouth until Bucky came with a growl, his grip tightening on your hair for just a moment before he went limp. Chuckling as he emptied into your mouth, and watched you swallow all of him.

“Fuck, baby…” He groaned, “Come here and give me a kiss.” He said once you pulled him out of your mouth and you didn’t hesitate to climb onto his lap again, pressing your mouth against his.

You moaned into the kiss, slowly grinding down on his thigh trying to alleviate the sweet pain in between your legs.

“You’ll be the death of me.” He murmured against your lips, then went in for a kiss again before groaning, “Oh babygirl, daddy’s gotta have you now.” Then he flipped the two of you around, hovering above you as he smiled down at you.

“Is this okay, babygirl?” He asked, caressing your face lovingly. “You still want daddy to make you feel good?”

You trailed your hands up and down his muscular back, and nodded. “Yes,” You smiled up at him, then the chain dangling from his neck caught your eye. Without thinking, you grabbed it in between your teeth and yanked on it playfully.

Bucky laughed looking down at you. “Is that what you want? The chain?” With one hand he got it off of him and put it over your head, you pulled it down until it rested on your neck. “There,” Bucky said, leaning down to kiss your neck, “First gift from daddy to his princess.”

You chuckled, “Why thank you,” You pulled him down for a kiss. He deepened the kiss, his hand drifting down in between your bodies, getting rid of the towel that had been hiding your body from him.

“You are so beautiful,” He whispered against your mouth as his hand touched you everywhere. “Wait, are you on birth control?” He asked.

You chuckled, “Yes, don’t worry.”

“Oh fuck, baby I can’t wait.” He groaned, pulling away to look down at you, “Can I fuck you now? Please? Can daddy make you feel good?”

Your head spun with how badly you wanted him. Especially given how he shamelessly slid his tip up and down your slit. You nodded immediately, “Yes.” You said, “Yes, please.”

He leaned in for a kiss again. He kissed your skin from your mouth to your neck as he carefully slid into you, so gently. “Tell me if I hurt you, baby.” He breathed into your ear. “Is this okay?” He asked, looking down at you. His pretty blue eyes so caring and gentle.

You nodded, “I’m okay.” You whispered, feeling warm all over.

When he pushed even deeper, your walls welcomed him perfectly and he moaned under his breath as he filled you up entirely, inch by inch. You gasped and moaned as he moved so slowly you almost lost your mind.

Bucky swore. Your warmth wrapped around him, gripping him so perfectly he couldn’t help but just stay still for a moment and just enjoy the feeling of being inside you. “Babygirl, you feel so perfect for daddy. Look at me,” Once you did, he smiled down at you and said, “That’s it, keep your eyes on me while I fuck you, okay? I need to know I’m not hurting you.” He said.

That only made you wish he’d fuck you like an animal. You groaned, “You’re not hurting me,” You said, “Please, daddy. Please fuck me harder.”

He chuckled, “There she is,” He whispered into your ear, “You’re daddy’s dirty little girl, aren’t you?” Bucky laced your fingers together and pinned both your entwined hands above your head as he sped up into you. Fucking you nice and hard, “Does that feel good, baby? Hmm? Does my pretty princess feel good?”

You nodded, moaning shamelessly, “Yes… more, more please.” You cried out, throwing your head back as he started rocking in and out of you.

He leaned in and kissed your lips again, “I said eyes on me, baby.” He groaned, panting against your lips as he fucked you deeper. “Look at me.”

The air around you got warm again as you met his heated stare, his movements were slightly rougher, but passionate and loving. His hips rolled against your body perfectly, and his body weight pressing down gently on you was comforting and intimate. His grip around your hand tightened each time you’d moan his name under your breath.

“Oh babygirl, you’re all mine.” He whispered against your lips, and leaned in to kiss you deeply while he deliberately stroked his cock against your walls as slowly as he could just to make you whine and whimper even more under him.

When he pulled away to look down at you, his stare was intense, but loving. His lips were full and swollen as he looked down at you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen. You felt his cock hit all the right spots each time he moved against you, and his lips parted and he groaned the moment your walls started clenching around him.

He moaned at how tight you felt around his throbbing cock, and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Come for me, babygirl…” He whispered, voice strained and gravelly which sent chills down your body. “Come for daddy,” He growled.

His voice was enough to take you right to the edge. You felt the pressure and the familiar, sweet pain in between your legs, making you gasp for air and your walls clench violently around him. You moaned loudly again, wantonly.

His hands reached down and grabbed your sides gently, keeping you in place as he sped up into you, his cock slipping in and out of you with ease. Your bodies moved perfectly against each other. He held you as close to him as he could, pushing his face into you and nuzzling your neck as he fucked you relentlessly.

“Oh baby, you take this cock so well,” He growled into your ear, making your brain all foggy. “Look at you, so fucking beautiful while you take all of me in there, huh?”

With a few more strokes of his cock, you came undone with a cry of pleasure, gushing out all around him, grinding against him eagerly while he moaned against your lips as he came right after you, filling you up.

“Fuck,” He gasped, getting off of you quickly and holding you close to him as you caught your breath, “Are you okay, babygirl?” He asked, kissing your head.

You ended up giggling as you came down from that high. A place so far away that no one ever took you before. “I’m okay,” You said, “I do want some cuddles though.”

Bucky chuckled, “Whatever my princess wants,” Then pulled you into him, spooning you from behind. “Get some sleep, baby. I’ll wake you up tomorrow.”

–

The next morning, neither of you could get your hands off each other. So that meant spending half of the day in bed. And by mid-day when you said that maybe he should take you back to the shore, Bucky refused.

“Just spend another night with me. Please, babygirl.” He begged with those puppy dog eyes. “I’ll take you back to your hotel room tomorrow morning, I promise.”

–

He did take you back. But not to drop you, because he had convinced you to check out, take your things and move them to his boat.

“We’re travelling to the same countries,” He said, “Let's just take the boat and go together.”

You ended up spending two whole weeks with him after that conversation. Going into the third week, you forgot all about real life. All that existed were these perfect days with Bucky; sailing around Europe, watching sunsets and sunrises and stargazing, having amazing sex, and repeat.

–

Reality hit you like a freight train one night when you finally remembered to charge your phone and realised that you had forgotten to update your friends and family about your location and whose company you were in. You scrolled through the endless missed calls, emails, and unanswered texts, and quickly responded to some of them.

You didn’t get much sleep that night, not only because Bucky kept you up until the early hours of the morning, but because you were scared of having to get back to the real world.

Bucky found you out on the main deck that morning. You leaned against the handrail, looking at the sun that would rise in a few minutes, wearing nothing but one of his shirts. He stayed a few steps back, just admiring you.

But you knew he was there. You could always tell he was watching. So you looked over your shoulder and gave him a smile, “Good morning, handsome.”

He rushed over and wrapped his arms around you. “I can’t get over how good you look in my clothes.” And when you didn’t respond with something sassy as usual, Bucky knew something was wrong. “What is it, baby? Are you okay?”

You turned to face him instead of the sunrise, and just said it. “I should go back home. I’ve been away for longer than I should’ve been.” You watched how he frowned at you, his eyes still a little sleepy. His hair was tied into a messy, low bun.

You knew you’d never be able to forget this man. Even if you go back home and get sucked back into a cycle you wanted no part of. You couldn’t help but touch his face gently, caressing his cheek.

“But,” He said, a little confused still, “We’re having fun, aren’t we, baby?” He leaned closer, holding you tighter. “You can stay. You should stay, you hate that city.”

You nodded, “I know. But I can’t stay here forever, Buck.” It hurt to even say it.

“Why not?” He argued. “I’ll take care of you. Haven’t I been taking care of you?” He questioned, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Please babygirl, don’t leave me.”

You gasped softly as he kissed and nibbled on your skin, his mouth moving all over your neck. “I.. I need to go home at some point.” You said.

Bucky pulled away to look at you. The sky began to get lighter. His eyes still shone like jewels. “And where’s that?” He asked. “Where’s home, baby? Hmm? In that city you don’t like? Surrounded by people you can’t relate to? Stuck in some job you hate?” He returned the words you’d said to him the night you first met.

And for some reason, that made you tear up. The thought of the life before him. “I… I don’t know.” You said, lips quivering as a tear fell down your cheek.

He quickly wiped your tears away, “Baby…” He whispered, “That’s not a home, princess. Home is supposed to feel warm, free, and happy. Are you happy or free in that city?”

You shook your head. “No,” You sniffled. “But I can’t just keep running.”

“Just be with me. Here.” He said. “This isn’t running, this is us having fun.”

“Well, you’ll have to go back to real life at some point too. What then?” You asked.

He gave you a smile, “I’ll take you with me when I do, princess.”

You scoffed, “Bucky, I’m serious.” You said.

“So am I.” He insisted. “Stay with me, babygirl. I’ll take care of you. You know I will.”

You sighed, and wiped away your own tears. “And then what? Make you my sugar daddy?” You joked.

“Like that’s such a horrible thing.” He argued.

You rolled your eyes at him, tried to get out of his arms but he wouldn’t let you. You faced him again, “I can’t do that.”

“This is gonna work.” He insisted again. “Just stay with me.”

“We’ve known each other for mere weeks.” You said, thinking back on how these mere week have been some of the best days of your entire life.

Bucky gave you a wise smile, and said calmly, “I’ve been in relationships that have lasted months, and even years, and yet no one has ever made me feel the way you did these past few weeks.”

You shed another tear, “I’m a mess, Buck. I don’t even have a job.” You chuckled humorlessly, then sniffled.

“I’ll get you a job.” He offered.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Okay then, whatever you want, princess.” He said, holding you close. “But I can't let you go. I won’t.”

“You’re awfully stubborn.” You whispered, hiding your face into the crook of his warm neck.

“Stay with me.”

“Bucky…”

“Baby.”

“What am I gonna tell my parents?” You questioned. “Oh I found a really kind, charming and handsome older guy who took me on a nice ride on his nice boat and I think I’m gonna move in and start living with him?”

Bucky chuckled. “I took you on more than just a ride on my boat.”

You shoved him playfully. Then relaxed into his arms again. “I’m scared, Buck.” You admitted.

“I’m not.” He said firmly. “Baby, we’ll figure it out. Tell me you don’t want this. Look me in the eyes and tell me you wanna leave what we have right now and go back to the city.” He pulled away to look at you. “Tell me that truthfully, and I’ll let you go. Can you do that?”

You sighed, tears filling your eyes again. “No,” You whispered. “I don’t wanna go.” You said, “But I’m scared.”

“Shh,” He hugged you close again. “I’ve got you, babygirl.”

You wrapped your arms tightly around him, breathed in his scent and wanted to cry some more because this man was so dreamy. “What if you stop liking me?”

“Hey.” He chided playfully.

“I’m just saying. What if?”

Bucky pulled away to look down at you again, “Why would you ask me that? Is it really that hard to believe that I love you? Haven’t I shown it to you these past weeks?” He questioned.

Your eyes widened. “Oh. You love me?” You didn’t mean for it to sound like you were teasing him, but it did.

Bucky rolled his eyes. Whispering under his breath, “You’re such a brat.” As he tried to pull away, you tightened your arms around him to stop him.

“No, no, don't go anywhere.” You chuckled at the expression on his face. “Tell me more about how much you love me.”

He gave you a kind smile, leaned down to kiss your forehead and whispered, “How about I show you?”

So you let him show you. And you stayed.

And the life you had together couldn’t have been more perfect.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut

2K notes · View notes

quirklessidiot · 5 months

Text

title: hell's favorite secretary [sneak peak] pairing : Devil!Ryomen Sukuna x F!Lost soul!reader [based on the webtoon 'the devil is a handsome man', DC Comics "Lucifer", and the book and video game 'Dante's inferno'] Genre: Alternate Universe-Hell, angst, mystery/thriller, mild horror, romance, slow burn, hell au, dark comedy, lost soul x devil au

Summary: The faceless man shrouded in mystery tends to be a subject of rumors and false pretenses, but you'd think otherwise when you accidentally caught sight of those grueling red eyes.

General warning for the story: graphic depictions of heavy gore (manslaughter, mayhem, and torture), and explicit sexual scenes, more will be added per chapter. this will be exclusively released in ao3 in december <3 Notes: after reading a couple of pages of dante's inferno, reading lucifer (the comic book), and the devil is a handsome man, it sort of struck my interest to write this story! this is a pretty long series and im actually so excitied to write this lol.

if you're a person heavily practicing the catholic faith, i won't recommend reading this series as this talks and leans on the devil (i'm not a satanist pls), he's not glorified here in anyways but I do recall people who lean heavily on the faith are not fond of reading any media depictions of the devil.

i hope you enjoy! rb's are always appreciated.

There are possibly hundreds of artworks about the devil.

The most famous one is that snake hanging off the forbidden tree or, better yet, a half-animal and half-human. Others would be an ugly babe falling down from the heavens. The most popular modern one would be the one in red with horns on his head, yet your boss did not resemble any of those impressions. Instead, he wore a three-piece suit and had a hole right in the middle of his face.

Yes, you heard that right.

A hole.

All you could see was an empty void of black nothingness. Nobara had said that Sukuna – yes, the devil went by that name — would never show his face to lost souls like you because, as an angel before, seeing him in his proper form would result in instantaneous combustion.

Despite that good reason, talking to him was still disconcerting. The whole situation remained to be anomalous.

The ringing thoughts about your previous conversation with your workmate replay in your head like a broken record, your eyes trickling on the piles of paperwork across the window that revealed your boss leaning against the table with his usual outfit and pink tufts of hair neatly styled away.

You recalled meeting him for the first time and wondering why he seemed somewhat familiar. You had overtly eyed him up and down. Despite the hole in his face, he had caught on quickly and asked what exactly you were doing. Until now, you couldn’t understand the physics behind how he could even see you and talk.

You purse your lips in deep thought as lines form in the middle of your head. You don’t even feel your boss walking up to you on your desk, “Seems like someone’s head is up in the clouds this morning.” he points out.

You immediately sat up straight, your shoulders squared, “Sukuna, Sir…” you jumped, eyeing him somewhat warily.

Despite how he made you feel, the devil was not exactly a strict boss.

He’s rather lax and did not mind procrastination and passing your work at the last minute as long as you did it well. He works on proper hours, gives vacation and leaves, and an appropriate timetable for lunch breaks.

He’s hard to hate for a being who's been blamed for man’s misfortune since time immemorial.

“Was the long weekend still not enough?”

“I’m not exactly a sloth, Sir,” you mumble to yourself, but he catches onto your words and remains unphased. It's uncharacteristic for you to say anything more to him, but you needed a good starter for this conversation to get on, “...Although, I-uh…I do have a question…You remembered our contract, sir?”

One thing that humans were able to grasp correctly about hell and its king is the contract signing and how the devil gives out favors in exchange for something you truly hold dear. For you, since you’re a lost soul, in exchange for changing your status, you’d give proper work hours and help him capture at least eight hundred itinerants.

You’re running on two hundred and fifty so far.

“Oh?” he leans in closer, “That’s not something we talk about every day.” his body language remains fluid and guileless as if he wanted you to speak your mind more, and it only made your palms sweaty despite the coldness of the room, “Would you like to change some conditions? I am, after all, a fair man.” His voice is crisp and light, a charm that made up for his empty face.

“I- well, I’m going to be frank with you, Sir…” you blink, “I- um,” you start to stammer, and it only makes your stomach do different kinds of flips as your mind conjures up different types of worst-case scenarios. It’s not like you couldn’t become a soul after this, right? You’d only have to wait for a century and try to retain your sanity along with it.

He cocks his head to the side, and if you could paint a face on that void of nothingness, you’d wish it would be kind eyes looking down on you, but this was the devil, the man who was struck down from the heavens for being too ‘arrogant and malicious’. You need to be careful with your words, “I…I need information…” you swallowed, your words tumbling out clumsily.

“Information?” your boss remained relaxed, and you knew it was rather diabolic to even pray for God when you were literally in hell, but you had little to no way of reading him. There’s another round of stifling silence; you only want to melt into a puddle of goo this time.

#jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #📝📝.hell's favorite secretary series

191 notes · View notes

beardedjoel · 6 months

Text

pretty little wife | meet cute, part 2

joel miller x f!reader one shot collection

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | ✨kofi ✨ summary: 9.5k words; joel takes you on your first date, and it doesn't end up like he'd planned. not that either of you seem to mind, of course. warnings: 18+ MDNI! no apocalypse au, relationship/dynamic not established yet like the other chapters, unprotected piv, rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), reader is a little bratty in this chapter, talks of brat punishment, sub/dom relationship, dirty talk, pet names for reader, joel is so fucking handsy here i am Feral, minor bits of angst (reader backstory stuff) a/n: welp apparently i am incapable of writing a short chapter for these two right now >< i'm really loving the way that pretty wife started out a bit bratty and has this pipeline to being joel's good little wife it's kinda doing something for me

You don’t know if your heartbeat could get any louder, nearly drowning out the trill of the line ringing in your ear. You’re moments away from speaking to your mystery man from the bar again, to Joel, who’d seemed intent on changing the entirety of your life with one single fuck in a bar bathroom.

“Hello, Miller Contracting,” a deep voice lumbers out on the other end, sounding nearly clinical with the greeting. You have no doubt it's Joel - his voice feels too recognizable, the deep richness of it combined with his Texas twang that had you absolutely swooning last night. You will your lips to part, for words to rush out, but you pause, trying to get the lump out of your throat.

“Uh - Joel?” you croak out.

“Mhm,” he replies absentmindedly. You picture him at a desk somewhere, sorting through papers, or working on a construction site, his muscles bulging out his shirt and you’re temporarily lost to the fantasy. “What can I do for you?”

“I-it’s me -” you say, repeating your name to him. “From last night…” you add on.

He laughs, a deep rumble in the phone, and your heart lifts what feels like miles within your chest. “Yeah, from last night, didn’t need to clarify, sweetheart.”

“S-sorry. I’m Nervous,” you say simply, wringing your hands together on your lap.

“Now hang on a second, how’d you get this number? Don’t recall givin’ it out,” Joel says, a hint of playfulness in his voice. The fact that he seems eager to talk to you, tease you, immediately dissipates the nervousness you’d had about calling him.

“Er, I’m persistent, that’s all I’ll say,” you tell him with a flush of your cheeks.

“Well, if I’m honest, I’m happy as hell to hear from ya,” Joel says. You feel your eyebrows twitch and mouth part in surprise.

“You are?” You wish you didn’t sound so desperately surprised by the fact, but the words tumbled out of you before you could stop them.

“Felt like a damn idiot, forgettin’ to get your number last night. Not how a gentleman should act.” You can practically visualize Joel shaking his head at himself and running a hand through his hair on the other end.

“And you think you acted like a gentleman otherwise?” You smirk and bite your lip, already feeling a tingling in your limbs, a slow, swirling pool of arousal sinking deep into your gut.

Joel chuckles and makes a small humming sound. “Maybe not, but it got you callin’ me, didn’t it?”

You laugh heartily and agree with a sultry “mm-hmm.”

“So listen, I knew if I ever got to speak to you again, I wanted to… uh-” Joel clears his throat, and you can hear a slight wobbling, like he’s nervous. “See if I could take you on a proper date.”

“Oh really, a date? Not just a bar bathroom this time?” you ask, trying to quell a little bit of your excitement, play it cool around him. You’re having a hard time believing that he’d want to take you out, for some reason. This past year or so has been a slew of failed dates, refusals to call back, men telling you one reason or another you no longer interested them. This tended to happen after they’d already gotten something from you, which had only served to make you feel worse about the entire thing. You tried not to let it get to you, but really, you were craving to be loved, to be seen for who you were and loved for it. That was something you hadn’t gotten enough of in your life.

“Now listen, if you’re gonna be like that, maybe I don’t need t’take you out, do I?” Joel teases, and the tingling in your core intensifies, your legs rubbing together just at the low drawl of his voice prodding at you.

“I’d love to, Mr. Miller,” you say coyly, and you hear a sharp hiss of breath from Joel’s end.

“Little shit,” he mumbles.

“What’s that?” you lick your lips and fight the urge to twirl your hair, the feeling of getting him so riled up just over the phone giving you a perverse little twinge of satisfaction.

“Fuck, I need to see you again,” he nearly groans, and you’re unsure if he’d even meant the words for you to hear, so low and quiet. ”Dinner this Friday, then?” Joel asks you, and you bite your lip and scrunch your face up in excitement, knowing he can’t see you.

“It’s a date.”

Joel picks you up that Friday at 6:30, a bit of a sweating, anxious mess after fussing over your makeup and outfit for the last two hours. You end up landing on a white, frilly mini dress with a corset top, knowing your tits are on perfect display for him. A devious huff of laughter leaves you when you reach into your underwear drawer and dig out your sheer white over the knee stockings with a lace trim at the top and slide them up your legs. Maybe you are in the mood to be a bit of menace for him tonight, you think to yourself. The thought of Joel’s eyes practically falling out of his head when he sees you in this makes you smile and nearly squeal with delight as you put your finishing touches to your outfit with accessories and a touch up of your shimmery lip gloss.

When you bound outside of your apartment building, you can see a nearly pained expression on Joel’s face through the windows of his blue truck, pulled up right in front of your building. You hear the clicking of your little heels on the pavement, giving you a boost of confidence as you stride towards him, feeling your hair bouncing behind you.

You feel… fucking hot. And you know it’s partly because of who you know is going to be looking at you all night. Joel takes too long to stare and enjoy the view of you walking over before he’s scurrying out of his truck to reach you and grab the car door.

“Evenin’,” he says, clearing his throat and you notice he seems a bit more quiet and shy in the light of day. He seems almost dazed, trying to take in as much of you as he can in just a few seconds, blinking as he processes just how tiny everything you’re wearing is.

“Got you these,” he says, holding out a small bouquet of flowers full of different pastel flowers and greenery. You can tell he put some thought into it, that he didn’t just pick a random bouquet and roll with it, and it makes you smile.

“Thank you,” you say, studying the flowers for an extra beat. “Such a gentleman,” you coo as you step past him and start to climb into the seat. He huffs a little as you pass and shoots his hand out to grab your wrist, a tight hold as he yanks you back towards him. He doesn’t waste a second before pulling you flush with him, pressing the tops of your tits further out of your dress and onto his chest, covered in a button up shirt. His hand splays along the small of your back, rough and warm, seeping through the fabric of your dress. He leans down, capturing your lips with his.

“Not gonna give me a proper hello, were you?” he rasps once he pulls away. “Thought you were a polite girl.”

Your lips part and spread into a little smile as you lick your lips. “Sorry,” you say, putting your eyes down to the pavement for a moment before lifting them back up to his and cupping his face, raking your fingers through his beard and leaning back in for a soft, chaste kiss. “There’s your hello.”

“Mhm” Joel mumbles before he takes your hand in his, guiding you into his truck where you settle in, wrapping the seatbelt around yourself and watching him walk back around the front of the truck to the drivers side, admiring the way his button up hugs his broad form.

When he sits down, instead of starting the truck he just looks over at you, drinking in your show of skin, hungry glances all over your body until his gaze lands on your tits, the swells of your breasts heaving slightly as you breathe nervously now that you’re alone with him.

“You look like a goddamn angel, or somethin’,” he finally says, flicking his eyes to the tops of your stockings, and you notice his jaw set tightly while his hands clench in his lap. He softens a little once he looks at your face, amused eyes looking back into his. “Beautiful,” he adds, and you beam at him, twirling a bit of your hair around one of your fingers.

“Thank you,” you say shyly, leaning a little closer to him, knowing your cleavage is only being pushed together that much more at this angle in your seat. “You want me to be your little angel, Joel?”

“Christ…” he says under his breath, reaching his hands up to grip the steering wheel, knuckles going white with the strain of it. “Think you already seem to know the answer.”

“Well, I’ll take it you like my outfit, then. I picked it out special for you,” you tell him cheerfully, flouncing the skirt of your dress in your lap a bit.

“Sure do,” he says quickly, starting the car, seeming to need to high tail it out of here before he completely ditches the dinner reservation to have his way with you. You opt to just watch Joel drive, observing his profile with a small, thoughtful smile. You see his brows twitch as he feels your stare on him, and he turns to the side while he’s stopped at a red light, giving you a closed lip smile.

“Did you just ask me on a date because you felt bad?” you ask suddenly, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Felt bad?” Joel asks, turning his eyes back to the road.

“For what happened the other night.”

Joel huffs in the seat next to you, his head shaking the smallest bit. “You think I felt bad about any of that? What gave you that idea, now?”

“I… I don’t know. I was just surprised you still wanted to take me out after…” you trail off, glancing out the window to try and avoid your own spiraling thoughts.

“C’mon, doll, need to give me more than that. If you don’t wanna be here you gotta say.”

“No!” you cry out a little too loudly.

“If you just need to hear me say that I liked fuckin’ your tight little pussy or whatever gets you off, just say it, yeah? Don’t need these roundabout questions like a little brat,” Joel snips, and you swallow hard, realizing he’s gotten the complete wrong idea.

“N-no, nothing like that, Joel, I… I really want to be here, I really do. I guess I was worried,” you suck in a breath. “That you’d just be done with me after you got what you wanted. That’s what other guys have done. Older guys.” You can feel your voice getting mousier, quieting with your confession, afraid that the answer will be exactly what you’re afraid of. Joel’s expression softens, the lines between his brows letting up as his eyes lighten a bit.

“First off, I ain’t other guys, and I want you gettin’ that in your head right now, okay?” Joel says, glancing over to see you nodding small little bounces of your head, eyes wide. “Okay?” he asks again, a little more stern this time, reaching a hand over to grip your thigh.

“Okay.”

“Good. An’ I ain’t even close to getting everything I want from you, probably never could be, so don’t wanna hear you say anythin’ like that again, got it?” His grip squeezes on your thigh, and you place your hand over it, covering his hand with your own.

Your mind spins, reeling with such a strong confession from him. You don’t know how it’s possible that after one night together, the both of you have something damn near unexplainable, something that’s been nestling itself deep into you since then. You tilt your head a little, giving him a soft smile, feeling all the worries you’d had this entire week start to melt away.

“Got it,” you tell him with a stern nod, your hair falling over your shoulder.

“Good girl,” he says, patting your thigh a few times. They twitch and clamp together a bit with his praise, the familiar rush of arousal from the other night coming back to you when he used those same words. You catch Joel smirking out of the corner of your eye, the effect he had with those two simple words not lost on him.

You can see his face steel, his jaw setting tighter as his fingers move up your thigh, unsticking from the bare flesh he’d been touching and climbing upwards.

“You dress like this a lot? Or just wanted to get a rise out of an old man, hm?” he asks, fingers digging into your plush skin a little harder.

You twist your lips into a thoughtful pout, knowing it shows off the shiny pink of your lip gloss a little better, and Joel’s eyes drift there for a brief moment when he glances at you.

“Sometimes.” You give him an indifferent shrug. “Mostly wanted to see how you liked it.”

“I’ll bet you did,” Joel replies plainly, nearly sounding irritated, but you somehow know that he’s more angry with himself right now, barely able to keep his trembling hand from moving further up your thigh.

“I mean, I thought the stockings might be too much, but don’t you think they go just perfect with this dress?” You trill in an innocent tone to him, moving his hand to play with the lace edges at the top.

“Mmm,” Joel replies, lips pressed tightly together. His fingers bury themselves under the band of the stockings, pads of his calloused hands grazing the skin underneath. You try to hold back a shudder but it’s no use, Joel’s touch is fully electric, sending a zip of pleasure up your spine.

Your legs spread open wider in the seat, inviting him to move higher and you let out a quieter moan and slide the hem of your dress up a bit higher. You’re warm all over, skin flushing as his hand creeps up towards the apex of your thighs. You admit you’re having even more fun than you thought teasing him. He’d done this same thing to you at the bar, sloppily kissing along your neck until you’d felt nearly insane with need for him, and it gives you a little pump of satisfaction to see him falling apart so quickly.

“Even got…” you breathe out, “The matching panties on.” Another tiny little mewl slips out when Joel’s fingertips slide along your inner thigh, ever closer to where you know you’re already wet for him. He peers over to see your chest heaving a bit, curves looking so inviting - all it would take was one little tug and your tits would be spilling out, just as they had the other night, so pretty and just for him.

“Fuck it,” Joel grunts out, tearing his hand away from you and pulling off to the side of the road, turning into a passing neighborhood and swinging the car into the closest driveway to turn around. “I live close by, we’re goin’ to my place right now,” he says. “Fuckin’ wearin’ this little shit to get me all worked up…” His voice is mumbling now, seemingly to angrily talk to himself as he keeps his eyes straight ahead, not looking at you.

His face is going pink with the effort of holding back from you, grunting while he maneuvers the car and speeds off, booking it towards his house. Your mouth forms perfect O before it splits into a grin, knowing you got exactly what you wanted from him. Something about driving a man like Joel crazy - someone who seems reserved, in control of these kinds of situations, makes you feel a little spark of pride mixed with your dousing of arousal.

“Teach you some damn manners, that’s what I’m gonna do,” Joel mumbles quietly, letting out little sighs of irritation.

“J-joel…?” you ask carefully.

“Mm-mm, not a word right now. You’ve said enough.”

You clamp your lips together, knowing you maybe shouldn’t be as thrilled as you are right now, feeling like sparks are dancing across your skin, magnifying right where Joel holds you, squeezing to where it might leave a bruise tomorrow, as if to hold you down, keep you in this car with him.

“Please…” you whimper, unsure what you’re asking for, just knowing you’re growing more desperate to feel him on you, inside of you.

“Please nothin’. You’re gonna act like this, I’m gonna react accordingly, you got that?” Joel snips, veins on his forehead protruding as he drives along, unable to even look in your direction. You stay silent while he whips through a suburban neighborhood, finally pulling into his driveway.

“Stay,” he spits out before exiting the car, coming over to your side and opening the door.

“Thank you,” you coo sweetly, which gets a devious smirk from Joel.

“You’re tryin’ to be good now, are you?” he scoffs, wrapping his hand around your upper arm.

“Thought you liked fucking good girls,” you say with a sly smile, repeating his own words back to him. He chuckles low and deep in his chest before tugging you out of the car, keeping one hand on your arm and the other pressed on your lower back, guiding you to the front door. Instead of letting you step out of the way, he presses himself so that you’re between his body and the door as he reaches around to unlock it, keys clanking in his awkward position.

You can feel him, hard and long, cock painfully erect and pressing against your ass. You fight the urge to grind into him, thinking that maybe he may not see that as something a good girl would do. Instead, you let a little whimper slip out when he digs into you deeper as he turns the nob and pushes the door in.

“Gonna be makin’ a lot more of those pretty little noises soon, honey,” he says low, near your ear as he nudges you inside. It’s dark, only bits of the setting sun coming through the windows, and you fumble past the doorway, the only anchor you have is Joel’s hand on your back.

He flicks a switch, illuminating the room with a dim floor lamp, and you can see that you’ve stepped into his living room. It’s modest but cozy, and definitely seems to ooze his busy, bachelor lifestyle with plain, somewhat mismatched furniture. You had to hand it to him, though, just upon first glance he seemed relatively clean, unlike some men’s places you’d visited.

“This is a nice pl-“ you start, cut off by one of Joel’s arms wrapping around your torso and pulling you into him with a thud. Your back is tight against his chest now, his head burying near the crook of your neck. He’s kissing you urgently - every spot he can find, biting and sucking and flicking his tongue, all gentle but firm, full of an unrelenting passion and frustration.

He groans loudly, hand tracing up your chest to grasp at one of your tits, squeezing it firmly and running his finger over your nipple. Both are hard and aching for him, poking through the fabric of your dress with no bra holding them back. He sucks so hard on a spot on the side of your neck that you gasp and twitch in his hold. He chuckles, quickly soothing the spot with his tongue and lips.

“Couldn’t wait for me to get my hands on you, is that it? Why you dressed like that, hopin’ I’d bring you back here? Say fuck the nice dinner reservation I made us?” he finally speaks, nearly growling in your ear.

“I just - I-“ you stutter, mind reeling from his warmth blazing into your skin now, his voice rumbling close to your ear, low and gritty and sounding… almost angry with you. You feel a tightening in your core, pooling between your legs and you already start to ache for him, turned on by the way he’s chastising you and covering you with marks.

“You were such a good girl the other night for me, can you do that again? Or you want to keep bein’ a brat?”

“N-no I liked being good for you, remember?” you blurt out, chest heaving and body fighting the urge to squirm out of his arms and show him, get on your knees and finally get him in your mouth.

“Didn’t seem to think so in the car… if I didn’t know any better you wanted me to punish you, fuck you fuckin’ dumb ‘til you submit to me. And the thing is, honey, I like my girls to be good f’me. Don’t wanna have to work for it unless I want to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just wanted to play around, make you a little crazy for me,” you say with a whine, your bottom lip starting to quiver.

“C’mere, lemme see you,” Joel says, a quick grunt as he spins you around, catching you along your back with one hand, tilting your head up by the chin with the other. He takes in your wide, pleading eyes, plump lips turned into a frightened frown, and sighs.

“S’okay, doll,” he says much softer, thumbing your chin and then stroking his fingers up your cheek. “Lucky for you I was in the mood to work for it a bit tonight, and you know why that is?”

You shake your head mutely, absolutely dumbstruck by his dark eyes narrowed and looking straight into yours. He’s so beautiful, so much more than you even remembered from the other night. It nearly sends an ache into your chest, just how perfect he is.

“‘Cause you’re worth it, pretty girl. What kinda man would I be if I didn’t have to work for it a bit, hm?” His voice is changed, a bit more flexible, his tone coming off kinder now. You feel a surprised smile tugging at your mouth and you let it spread a bit, showing Joel that you’re pleased with what he said.

“Show you how pretty you are…” he trails off, his eyes drifting down to your chest, where he’s watching your curves spilling out the top, your dress pulled down from the way he’d been touching you there. He tugs slowly on the fabric, pulling it so your tits are both spilling out, letting the neckline tuck underneath and press them upwards.

He leans down to capture your lips in a softer kiss, letting your lips and tongues begin a gentle dance with each other. Joel’s fingers make their way under your dress, sliding the hem up to reach your ass, large palms splaying across both globes. He pulls you even closer, grinding you against his arousal and you groan, absolutely soaking for him, needing for him to touch you where you want him most.

“Got your ass and tits out like a little whore for me now, don’t you? Like being my little whore?” he grits out, and you nod with a quiet mhm, lolling your head back as he places a few little bites on your neck.

“Let me fuck you in that bathroom and comin’ home with me the first date ‘fore I can even buy you dinner,” Joel tuts, continuing to knead the plush flesh on your ass, stepping forward so that you have no choice but to walk backwards and further into the living room. He smacks your ass hard before rubbing the spot with a soothing touch.

“Now get inside and take what you’ve been askin’ for, honey,” he says, stroking the side of your face gently.

“W-where do you want me?” you ask timidly, looking into his chest before trying to meet his eyeline. He’s so intimidatingly in charge right now you can hardly meet his gaze, dark brown, nearly black in the dimness of the house.

Joel seems to like your question, smirking and stroking your cheek again, calloused fingers sending a jolt of electricity that travels down your spine. “Good girl for askin’,” he coos, a flash of excitement in his eyes at your docility for him. He takes his hands to your shoulders, gently guiding you to stand in front of the couch. He turns and sinks back into the cushions, watching you stand in front of him, anxious with anticipation.

“You gonna dress like a slutty little doll, I’m gonna treat ya like one and play with you as long as I want, yeah?” A quick, stunned nod from you before he continues. “Now take off that pretty dress,” he says, his tone deepening with the command. His eyes are glued to your chest where your tits are still popping out of the top, practically burning a hole in you with the intensity, heat creeping over your skin. You lift from the bottom, pulling it over your head in one slow movement, standing before Joel in only the skimpy lacy thong you’d chosen for tonight - white to match your dress and stockings. You reach to pull the stockings down and Joel shakes his head, eyes snapping to where your hands are.

“Mm-mm, didn’t tell you to do that now, did I? Leave those on, doll. Panties next,” he drawls, and you follow his command, stepping out of your thong and leaving it on the floor beneath your feet. You take a nervous gulp, waiting for his next words, feeling right between your legs slickening even more as his eyes hungrily take you in.

“C'mon over and sit right here,” Joel says, patting his lap. His words have an immediate effect, just like when he’d asked you to get on your knees at the bar, your body moving for him of its own accord. You pad over the few steps to him and settle yourself onto his lap so that you’re facing him, thighs on either side of his. Joel’s hands find your hips, holding you and stroking his thumbs along your bare skin there. There’s such a stark difference between the two of you right now - Joel, fully clothed, not even a button undone yet on his shirt, and you with the entirety of your body naked and exposed save for your stockings, sitting on top of him because he’d asked for it. All the fabric on your bare skin feels odd in the best way, like you’re doing something so wrong yet so right at the same time, like you’re Joel’s dirty little secret somehow with the way he has you in the palm of his hand right now.

He cocks his head a little, looking at you more seriously now. “Now listen, should’ve said this the other night, but you saw how I like to be in charge of things, right?” he says.

You nod. “Yeah,” you breathe out, just barely. You’re distracted by the feel of his broad, muscled body beneath you, his hard length pressing into you through his jeans. You feel your head swimming but you try to focus on his words.

“So tonight if it gets to be too much, if somethin’ is wrong, you gotta call out ‘red’ for me, mkay?”

You nod again.

“Gonna need you to use your words, honey.”

“Yes, I got it. Red,” you repeat back to him, and the ghost of a smile comes to his lips.

“Good girl,” Joel says, tucking your hair behind your ears and smoothing it. “Now…” he trails off, his grip tightening on you in an instant to flip you off of him and next to him on the couch cushions, his body following closely behind so that he’s on top of you. His mouth crashes into yours, all heat and tongue and teeth clashing and you moan into it with surprise, still trying to get your bearings from all the sudden movement.

He slips down your body, his lips trailing a hot, wet mess along the way as he sucks your neck, your tits, briefly swirling a tease of his tongue over one of your nipples before he finds his way between your legs. They fall open for him in your dizzied state and he takes no pause before burying his head there, licking fat stripe up your slit, groaning loudly at the taste of you. He licks the same pattern several times, relishing in all the slick arousal that was just for him, he thinks greedily.

When Joel starts to lap at your cunt in earnest, his tongue poking your entrance before flicking at your clit, repeating the motions over and over, you throw your head back, whining loudly and writhing down into his face and chasing your pleasure.

“F-fuck, I’m -” you whimper. “Joel I’m already gonna -” Your legs shake and he seizes one of your thighs into his palms before the other hand slips between your legs and swiftly buries two fingers inside of you, going deep to press against your g-spot. You’d thought endlessly about that feeling since the night with him in the bar, the way he’d been the first person to show you what you’d been missing, to bring you world ending pleasure when he split you open. You’re desperate for it again, knowing his fingers are enough, but you can’t help but picture the way his girth had stretched you, pressed into you so deeply that you already felt addicted to it.

When he pulls your clit into his mouth, pressing on the spongy part inside of you at the same time, you cry out, feeling your hips bucking into him, body taut and shaking as he pulls your orgasm out of you. His name spills from your lips as easily as anything you’ve ever said in your life, like you’ve been saying it for years and no other man has existed for you, could exist for you.

You slump back, breathless and wanting, a sheen of sweat coating your body from the intensity with which he’d rocked your reality, and you quickly realize he’s likely far from done with you tonight. It makes your stomach churn with anticipation, and you bring yourself back, focusing on the gentle touch of his lips on your sensitive nerves, peppering your pussy with little kisses, leading out to your thighs.

“Good fucking girl f’me, didn’t take long at all, did it?” he says wryly.

“M-more…” you mumble, blinking your eyes to clear some of the post-climax fog you’re feeling, but it’s no use - Joel can see already how fucked out you are, barely even five minutes in. His heart swells with pride, excitement, the sick satisfaction of having you under his thumb, his to devour completely, body and soul.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, finally meeting your desperate, soft lips with his. He’s on top of you, his body slithering over yours again, pressing against you. Your hands reach up and start to unbutton his shirt, hesitantly at first, but a small noise of approval from him urges you on, indicating that he’s okay with you making that decision. When he finally shrugs it off, you take a moment to pull yourself back from his kisses to gaze down at him, his bare chest revealed to you for the first time. You feel your sex ache as fresh arousal starts to drip out of you seeing the salt and pepper of the curls on his chest, his defined but still soft abdomen, so inviting and sexy. You start to feel nearly feral, your gut coiling tight with the need for him to fuck you again, to watch his perfect body relentlessly use you for his own pleasure.

“S-shit…” you manage to gasp out when you gingerly run a hand down his chest, letting your nails scratch through his hair, and Joel hums against you as his lips find your shoulder. You rake your fingers downwards, leading all the way to his happy trail where you leave your fingers to rest on his belt. He looks delighted at your visceral reaction to his body, never thinking much of it himself, the way it had gotten slightly doughy with age and his hair had already started graying. But seeing you see so much in it that he can feel your legs tighten underneath him, pussy likely fluttering just at the sight, makes his core twist in pleasure and his cock twitch.

He caresses your face gently, his touch soft despite the mischief growing in his eyes. “Don’t think you learned your lesson yet, bein’ such a brat in the car,” he says, letting you start to undo his belt. When his cock springs out, you nearly start again at how length and thick it is, nearly having forgotten just how stunning it was outside the confines of your memory.

Joel notices your fresh reaction to his cock, the length of him twitching in anticipation to fuck you to pieces, to fuck you into being a good girl again. He can’t help but remember just how much it had shut you up to take his cock just a few nights ago, and he nearly whimpers at the memory alone.

“N-no? Don’t think so?” you tease back, grinding yourself against his bare and freed cock and Joel responds first with a surly little growl, two of his fingers possessively gripping your chin. His eyes flash in a way that you think should scare you, but you can’t help but feel comforted by Joel’s presence nonetheless.

“Exactly what I’m talkin’ about, bratty little ass, y’are. And let me fill you in on somethin’ for your own good,” he drawls, running his thumb along your lower lip. Your breath is baited as your lips part in invitation to him and he doesn’t slip it inside, not yet, at least. He hikes your hip up with his other hand, angling you towards his body as he steps closer between your legs. “I don’t like brats, I want my girl to be nice ‘n good to me. Are you gonna be nice ‘n good to me, doll?” he says, finishing the thought.

You swallow hard. You don’t know how serious he is, if this is part of some bigger game of his, this dominance he likes to have. You feel a pull in your heart, like you find yourself agreeing with him, that the look he’d given you when he called you good girl and obedient the other night were exactly what you’d been seeking your entire life. There was something there, something to take pride in, that he thought you were doing good enough for him. You’d wanted to tease him tonight, sure, make sure he still thought you were beautiful and sexy, afraid you’d get left behind so quickly in the more than likely slew of women he could have interested in him. Joel’s version of sexy just happened to be someone submissive for him, and the way you’d felt being that for him the other night, so far tonight, it was exhilarating, like a part of you that you’d had no idea existed until now, until him.

“I don’t want to be a brat,” you say quietly, gazing up at him with delicate eyes now, having your decision made. You reach a hand down to his cock, practically pulsating with need for you, sitting so close to your warm heat as he hovers above you. You gently palm it, wrapping your hand around the shaft, admiring the fact that your fingers can’t even fit around the expansive girth of it.

“I want to be your good girl,” you breathe, and Joel’s eyebrow cocks before his thumb settles into your mouth as he groans a little. You sit still, the saltiness of his skin so inviting but you don’t dare move, feeling that it's some kind of test, one you intend on passing.

Joel knows that you’ve figured it out. He strokes the side of your hair lovingly with his free hand and chuckles deep and low, the sound reverberating in the quiet room.

“Suck,” he finally commands, and immediately you suckle on his thumb, hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around it. Joel’s eyes flutter a bit and he groans between the feel of your hand on his cock and warm tongue wrapping around his thumb. He pushes it deeper and deeper, another one of his fingers entering your mouth, met with the same enthusiasm by your tongue. He gives a final push of his fingers, gagging you, and your hand falls off his cock, having you distracted enough that you barely notice he’s notched himself at your entrance. When he splits you open with his head you gasp around his fingers, stuffed far back in your throat. It burns and aches and stretches but you feel exhilarated by it, awakened and alive by the absolute girth of him breaking you open and finding a place inside of you as he pushes on inch by inch.

“Good girl,” he whispers roughly, eyes intently locked onto yours as they widen and tear up with all the different intrusive sensations. But despite all of that, your insides warm at his words, finding a home in your heart and nestling in. That’s when you know for sure - you’re done for, you’re a goner, this is the man you’ll spend your life doing this for, chasing and seeking those two little words from him no matter what it takes. You want this.

“Y’sure that’s what you want? Be my good little doll? Be sure before I use you like one,” he says, checking in with you quietly, his lips lingering just above yours.

You nod, your breath hitching, and he can see the fear of the unknown in your eyes, but he smiles at your willingness to try for him. “I want it, I want it, use me, Joel,” you breathe out erratically, the words tumbling out of you without a second thought.

The next moment is nearly a blur, a switch seeming to flip in Joel as pops his fingers out of your mouth, grunting with the effort of yanking your hips upwards so that you have no choice but to wrap your legs around him. He begins a relentless fucking into you, pounding his cock over and over, and its only now that you can see just how well controlled he had been these last few minutes, so collected only to unleash it on you now. Your eyes squeeze shut, rolling back into your head as you bite back the cries of him stretching you so quickly and harshly, so much more rough than the other night.

“Fuck…” he groans, “Tight little pussy, could never forget how good it feels, just like I remembered, baby,” he praises as he continues to jackhammer into you. Your body is crumpled up underneath his huge frame on the couch, legs moving further up his body until they nearly reach his shoulders. He takes the initiative to tug them that way, propping your ankles onto his shoulders before he takes a swift bite at one of them. You yelp but quiet immediately, letting the soft moans you’d been making slip past your lips again instead.

You see Joel’s approval in his smirk, the way his face contorts with pleasure as he goes red from exertion, his body gathering sweat as you run a desperate hand down his chest. You feel so far away in this position, your lips so far from his, wanting to feel your skin touching in every possible spot. You’re drunk on him already and need more, more of his warmth and his scent and the feeling of him.

“I want to - p-please, feel you closer, please…” you beg, hoping that your politeness will win him over into doing something that you want.

“Yeah? Want to bounce on this fat cock of mine, pretty girl? That do you some good?”

You nod quickly and urgently, breathing in with the anticipation of being moved as Joel pushes his cock as deep as he can before bracing himself to swap your spots. It feels effortless, the way he contorts the both of you until he’s laying back on the sofa and you’re straddled on top of him.

“Oh my god…” you murmur when you sink fully down onto him. Your head tilts back and mouth gapes open as you feel him so fully, pressing so deep inside of you at this angle. “Joel…”

“I know, baby, m’so deep in there,” Joel says soothingly now, his demeanor changed for the moment. He starts to move your body for you, achingly slow on his cock while he urges your hips up and down. One hand slides to your belly, gently pushing low down on your abdomen. “Feel m’self right in there, baby, right where I’m meant to be,” he coos, looking at his hand in amazement.

“Feels so fuckin’... so good,” you whine, starting to move more quickly on top of him. You can’t compare it to anything else, anyone else you’ve ever been with, the way Joel’s cock stretches you with each new thrust, the pain giving way to an aching pleasure as your walls are stimulated over and over by him.

“C’mere,” Joel grunts out, wrapping his bulky biceps around your back and pulling you down so that your top half is more flat against his chest. He slips one hand into your hair, bringing you in for a deep, hungry kiss that you both moan into. At this angle he holds more power, able to thrust up into you after he bends his knees. You’re losing all sense of time, of sensation and noise around you, just Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel fucking into you with everything he’s got, his hot breath on your neck and ear and buried into the side of your hair. His lips warm and wet on any part he can find while you take and take and take what he’s doling out, your cunt starting to ache from the way he’s pounding into you but desperately begging for more, fluttering around his length. Your moans ramp up when you feel your clit start to brush against the curls at the base of his cock, his name whispered into his neck in between your cries.

“There we go, doll, get what y’need, c’mon,” he says near your ear, urging you on. You’re only brought back to some semblance of reality as Joel smacks your ass with a swift, hard slap and you moan out. A new flutter and gush from your cunt around him makes Joel grunt and he fucks up into you like a crazed, possessed man, intent on only you you you.

“Tha’s right, honey, so fuckin’ wet for me,” Joel grits, his hips snapping in a nearly impossible pace into you. You think you’re starting to black out, your vision a bit spotty from how hard he’s ramming the entirety of his cock into you, your g-spot so stimulating along with your clit and you’re grasping at the cushions on either side of you, nearly pounding your fists into them as Joel holds you close, not letting you move an inch, not letting this climax get away from either of you.

“God, Joel, fuck… I c-can’t -“ you whine, your entire body tightening, damp with sweat as your tits slide across his chest with each new thrust.

“Y’can, now be a good girl and come for me,” Joel says, hot heat of his lips meeting yours for a sloppy kiss, both of your tongues half missing the others’ mouth, making a mess on your faces full of saliva and the remnants of your lip gloss. Everything is so slick, slippery, and you gush between your legs, your wet arousal dripping out around where he enters you again and again.

You snap, the invisible tether you’ve visualized inside of yourself finally breaking and you let go, practically convulsing on top of Joel with erratic grunts and moans and the lewdest sounds you’ve ever heard yourself make. You bear down on his cock as he rides you through the waves of ecstasy that take over your entire being.

“Good girl,” he coos over and over, his quiet praises only serving to plunge you further into this blinding hot cavern of bliss that you’ve fallen into. You can feel how his cock slips in and out around the way you’re creaming over his length, and you finally quiet into his chest, a spent mess.

Joel stops moving for a moment, giving you time to catch your breath as he strokes the back of your head. You nearly want to purr with the contentment you feel as he lightly drags his fingers across your head.

“Your turn,” you finally say, a wry smile pulling at your lips. You pick yourself up a bit, wiggling your hips on him and hissing a little at the oversensitivity of your shot nerves.

“My turn,” Joel echoes, a devious little twinkle in his eye is all you see before he sits up, pulling you close and kissing you as he ruts his hips into yours a few times. He quickly pulls out of you, handling your body roughly but smoothly as he turns you, pushing you down, knees on the cushions and chest pressing against the back of the couch. He crowds behind you, spreading your knees for you and you can feel his wet cock slap against your ass as he positions you and then himself.

Joel’s cock forces its way between your legs again, immediately sliding into your wet heat. You bristle a little under the full size of him again, determined to take it like the good girl you say you are and let him spill every drop of cum he has inside of you. You realize you’ve said some version of that out loud in your mental fog when Joel chuckles a low, devious little noise and slams into you hard.

“Yeah? Want all my cum, want to have me fuckin’ my cum into you, fillin’ you up?” Joel asks and you nod dazedly in reply. He plants a firm hand on your back, sinking you into the back of the couch while he pounds into you, chasing after his pleasure, using you to get himself off. You’ve never been more turned on, and you feel the creeping need of desire filling low in your belly again.

Joel’s free hand starts to smack your ass relentlessly, as if to spur you on while you bounce your hips back into his movements.

“Yeah, pretty girl, so good, takin’ this cock like a good girl,” he chants, erratic movements of his hips telling you how close he is.

“Fuck, fuck, so tight…” he bellows out, “Gonna come inside you, baby.” One more thrust and he’s done for, his hips sputtering and stopping deep inside of you as he unleashes while your cunt flutters, your body reacting in pure effervescent joy to feel his spend coating you again. Joel wraps his arms around your chest, yanking you to fall back with him so that you’re laying side by side, tangled in each other's arms. You both breathe heavily, sweat and stickiness intermingling as you lay so close.

“We missed our dinner reservation,” Joel says after a few moments of silence stating the very obvious. “We could order some takeout, how’s that sound?”

You listen to the beat of his heart where your head rests on his chest, steady and strong as it still comes down from his climax. You hum a little approving noise, nodding your head.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you tell him, barely able to care much about anything else right now. You think in this completely fucked out, limp state you’d let him feed you practically anything, spooning each bite into your mouth like you’re a helpless child. The thought makes you shudder a bit, a feeling of fear creeping over you that someone could have such an effect on you as to change you like that, to pull this side of you out that you’d buried deep inside.

“Don’t wanna move, though,” you whine, snuggling down onto his chest.

“I know, I know,” Joel says soothingly with a hand running down your hair. “Gonna have to eat to keep up with what I’m gonna do to ya next, though.”

You lift an intrigued brow and glance up at his face to find him already giving you an amused expression. “I’ll order us some food, why don’t you put on your pretty dress again and we’ll pretend we got our date, how about that?” he says.

You bite your lip in an effort not to smile too widely, and you give him another nod of agreement, finally sitting up and then clambering off the couch and stretching. Joel’s eyes roam your still bare body, unable to believe he could be ready for another round this quickly when his cock twitches at the sight. You throw on your dress and adjust it, smoothing the sides of your hair.

“How do I look?” you ask innocently with a twirl, as if he hadn’t just been buried deep inside of you, stealing any semblance of reality from your very being.

“Perfect,” he says with a chuckle.

Joel orders Chinese food, and the two of you sit at his kitchen table, a candle lit that Joel had dug out from deep within a cabinet sitting between you two at the table.

While you’re already sure the physical attraction with Joel isn’t wanting for anything, you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you two are connecting on all sorts of topics - from old country music that you listened to growing up to your dream vacation destinations. It seems like you two have more and more in common the longer you talk, or at the least, have an interest in the things the other person is saying. You can’t help but feel like you have a lot to learn from Joel, someone who has life experience, different interests (“old man interests” you tease him), and a whole new perspective on the world. You could listen to him for hours, sitting with your chin in your hand and lashes fluttering as you gaze at his perfect lips speaking about all of these new things.

“Can I tell you something?” you finally say during a quiet moment, when your plates have long been pushed away, swirling your third glass of wine in your hand. One foot is planted on the dining chair, knee tucked up to your chin where you rest it, lip worrying in between your teeth.

“Mhm, ‘course,” Joel says casually, sipping from his own glass.

“When I said I couldn’t find my passion before… I’ve always known what it is, what I want out of life. I just can’t… say it because it sounds, well, silly.”

“Try me,” Joel replies coolly, his eyes flickering with curiosity.

“I’ve always wanted to be -“ you hesitate, swallowing hard. “The reason someone comes home. The person they come home to. That’s it. That’s all I want. My parents… they never had that. Sure, they came home, but only because there wasn’t anything else to do, nowhere else to go. I never felt it from them. I’ve always wanted to just take care of someone and be that for them…” you confess, trailing off as your cheeks heat with the tipsy confession, slightly embarrassed to reveal it to Joel.

He considers your words with a small hmm and a cock of his head. “You’re talkin’ about a marriage, yeah? You wanna be a married woman.”

You nod, breathing out a sigh. “Women I know, and my parents, oh god, would probably freak out if that’s what I told them. That I just want to be someone’s wife, make each other happy. Be there for them. It’s something I’ve been too scared to admit until now, because my parents just want me to go to school, get a job, and be successful in the ways they’re successful, but…” you pause to glance at Joel, then back down to the table, tracing your nail along the knots in the wood. “What if I want to be successful in the ways they aren’t?”

Joel’s face contorts slightly, feeling your pain. “You gotta do what you need, sweetheart. Fuck what anyone else says,” he says plainly. “I can relate, y’know. I was married before.”

You snap your gaze up to him, somehow surprised, but realizing maybe you shouldn’t be, that this man is well into his forties now and has lived an entire life before ever laying eyes on you. “Yeah? And…”

“Was all pressure. Wasn’t right. Divorced over ten years ago, so don’t feel too sorry f’me. Her parents had all this pressure on us gettin’ married but I knew she wasn’t the right one for me. Ended up divorcin’ five years later.” He tuts at the memory - the waste of time, the endless arguments, the strain of it all for nothing.

“I’m sor-“ you start, cut off by Joel grabbing your hand across the small table, dwarfing it in his palm.

“Said don’t be sorry for me, yeah? I’m sittin’ here with you now, aren’t I?”

A smile tickles at the corners of your lips and you look down bashfully, letting your fingers curl around his. “Yeah, guess that’s true.”

“Come on over here,” Joel says, patting his lap and setting his wine glass on the table with a small clink.

You slide out of your chair, padding over and getting into his lap effortlessly. His fingers spread along your back to support you and you curl your legs up, resting against his chest.

“Y’know marriage is a lot, right? I know you know, you’re a smart girl, can tell you’ve thought about this.”

“I know,” you snip. “It’s not something I’ve ever taken lightly. I just… that’s what I want.” You don’t know how to express to him the yearning deep inside of you, the way you’d watch your parents moving in parallel lives, just happening to share children and a home, and wishing for anything more than that. Praying you’d never meet that same fate, that you’d be so sickly, passionately in love with your future spouse that the entire world could know from a single glance. That you’d give your life to make sure they were well taken care of, and they’d do the same for you.

“Sweet girl,” Joel says quietly, nuzzling his nose against the top of your head. “I know you’ll get what you’re lookin’ for. Anyone’d be lucky to have you.”

Your skin heats at his close contact and adoring words, your stomach twisting a little with the anticipation that it could be him - could Joel be the one lucky to have you, as he said?

“W-would you?” you stutter out, licking your suddenly desert dry lips. “Have me?”

“Honey, I’d have you a hundred different ways and never tire of it. Such a sweet, smart, special little thing you are.”

Your lips purse into a smile, fighting the urge to giddily giggle right in his lap. You tilt your head up to kiss him, a motion he gladly returns as he deepens it for a few moments, tasting remnants of the wine on each other's tongues.

“That what you want? Want me to have ya?” he asks quietly, the question carrying more weight in your mind than maybe he’d meant.

“Yes,” you say, a whisper into the quiet air of his house.

“Stay w’me then, this weekend. Don’t wanna let you out of my sight.”

You nod, nearly imperceptible as your mouths meet again, passion driving the kisses now as you squirm in his lap, desire igniting every cell of your body. Joel chuckles against your already puffy lips and shakes his head.

“Gonna ruin me, you know that?”

Three months later, Joel proposes to you in a park you frequently walk in together, a perfectly sunny and breezy spring day with the smell of fresh blooms surrounding you. You have on a pink dress, matching the explosion of color around you in the budding and blossoming trees and bushes. Joel wraps a hand around yours before getting down on one knee and revealing a solitaire diamond in a black velvet box, promising you all of the things you’d revealed to him in private months before. Someone to come home to. Someone who will come home to you. Succeed together in all the ways you’ve always wanted. Cherish you. And most importantly, love you for who you are.

#fic: pretty little wife #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #x reader #the last of us fanfiction

397 notes · View notes

melodramaschild · 1 year

Note

Immediate yes to that tattoo and piercing Drabble idea babe, in fact it isn’t even a yes it’s me begging for it

Based on me (so lots of neurodivergent and awkward)

Moder au

“Babe, I’m telling you, the whole conversation was… kinda weird.” Sirius said as he pulled his long hair into a high messy bun. “Do I look good?” He asked Remus and he nodded.

…

“What do you mean by weird?” Remus raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend as he was cleaning the chair.

“Well… she was way too nice.”

“And that’s weird?” Remus chuckled at that.

“She is calling me Mr. Black, she was… way too polite, has private Instagram and… she’s nice. Like, I never had this kind of conversation with my clients before.” Sirius thought. “And she lets me do my work! Like she send me the screen of my work and said that she wants it!”

Sirius was feeling enthusiastic about people admiring his work. But he really loved tattooing people with his work.

“Never heard you judging people like this, Mr. Black.” Remus joked as he hooked his fingers under Sirius’ chin. “I’m not judging,” Sirius frowned. “It’s mean to judge.” Remus tapped his chin with this thumb. “I’m not, she’s just… interesting.” “Yeah right.” Remus smiled and collected his lips with Sirius.

—

“Hi, can I help you somehow?” James asked you as you tripped over the door into the studio. “Fuck sorry.” You apologised to the door. Very good way how to make a good first impression.

“Yeah, hi there, hello.” You waved your hand at him and nervously chuckled. “I’m-I’m having an a-appointment on 2pm with M-Mr. Black.” You explained and swung on your heels.

James gave you back a warm smile. “Yes of course, you can leave your jacket here and I’ll talk to him.” James explained and disappeared in on of the room.

“You can come in.”

—

Sirius couldn’t help but smile a bit. He didn’t expect… the way you looked. He called this no-taste clothes. Without all judgment and bad meaning, of course. And you looked exactly like that. Like you don’t truly know your style so you just wear whatever you find in your closet or in the clothing shop.

You looked like a lost puppy who was hiding in the corner. It was even in your face. The look behind your eyes that made you look confused and scared.

“You must be Y/n, is that correct?” He asked and you nodded. “Yeah, nice to meet you, Mr. Black.” You said and handed him your hand for a proper greeting. He couldn’t help but grin. He didn’t meet people with hand shaking for very long time.

“Nice to meet you too Y/n.” He smiled. “Can we get you anything? Coffee, tea, some biscuit too?” James eyed you. “A tea is okay, thank you very much. A fruit one if you have.”

“Anything for you, dove.” James made you smile as he disappeared.

“So, since we have a bit of privacy. Please have a seat.” He pointed at the small black leather couch in the corner of the room. “So you chose my design, is that still correct?”

“Yes.”

“And the placement?”

“Uh, I don’t know how it’s specifically named.” You nervously scratched your ear. “It’s okay, you can describe it.” Sirius assured you and sunk into the couch, suddenly getting a bit shy as you had to describe it.

“It’s like between breasts but down the chest, you know. Like not fully on my tummy, but also on my breasts too.” Sirius mind went into oblivion. He wasn’t expecting some goody two shoes girl looking requesting that tattoo on this place.

His cheeks became bloody red. “We can do that.”

—

“Please take your top clothing off. Your bra too…” suddenly he felt so nervous. Like he never saw woman’s breasts before, like he never said this sentence in his work. “It’s because of the placement.” He nervously explained, like he needed to excuse himself and turned around to give you some privacy.

You smiled to yourself. Maybe you were shy that it was painful, but you really understood some things. You took off your clothing, carefully folding it and putting your bra on the top of it.

You wanted to scooped it in the corner of the couch, but what if someone is gonna come it and would like to sit there? You didn’t want to distribute some people by your clothes.

You didn’t even think about how irrational those thoughts were.

“Uh, where can I put my clothes?” You asked and Sirius turned around. And you were looking up at him like your life depended on him. Your hands were in front of you, holding your folded clothes like you were giving it to him, hiding your breasts that looked so hypnotizing to him.

“Oh,” he gasped. “You can leave it on the couch, angel.” It slipped so effortlessly that he wasn’t even ashamed of it. He felt how tensed you were. How awkward this situation felt, but you were so nice to him, your behaviour careful and light, even when your body posture looked like the opposite.

You placed your clothes back, brining your arms up to your chest to cover yourself. “I’m going to cover your breasts, I just need them to be as they are. You know… b-because-”

“I know,” you smiled at understanding. Sirius took a few napkins, fondling then in half and taping them together. “Could you please…?” Sirius pointed at your arms, suddenly he felt like a teenager who sees breasts for the first time. “Oh, yeah, sorry.” You said and quickly pulled your arms down.

Reliving your breasts at him and he felt how every thought of his is leaving him. Sirius’ eyes roamed all over your torso. From your pierced nipples to your bellybutton piercing and happy trail. And back to your face which told him how shy you got.

He saw many breasts at work weekly, maybe even daily but there was something about you that made him view you more than as another costumer.

“My hands may be a bit way too cold, so I apologise.” He suddenly murmured and you looked at away. You were looking into the wall as you felt his gloved cold fingers taping napkins over your breasts to cover you.

“Everything alright?”

“You’re cold, Mr. Black.” You chuckled and he felt like from now he has to do everything to hear your laugh again and again.

—

“Does it hurt?” He looked up at you from your breasts like every minute, just to sneak a glance at you to make sure you’re okay. “No, I’m okay, thank you.” You meekly said and he knew that you were lying a bit.

It’s not like this was your first tattoo, but it was a new place, it was large and you looked way too polite to complain.

“Just tell me if you need anything, alright?” He made sure and you nodded, swallowing the sharp pain that was creating on your ribs.

—

“…and you know, my mum is strict and religious so things like tattoos and piercings weren’t allowed. But now I’m adult and I have my own job and I live alone so I can do that.” You laughed at that like a little devil, bitting your tongue as you did.

“So rebellious?” Sirius smirked. He felt like he got onto your wave quickly. He was glad that he was able to get behind your shy walls.

“You make fun of it but actually yes. Who do you think that pierced my ears?”

Sirius stopped tattooing and looked up. There was at least 10 piercings in each ear. All those positions were right. Right in their spots as they were supposed to be, in angle they supposed to be, space between them as it was supposed. He was impressed.

“You?” He asked, his eyes widening. “Yeah, needles are ridiculously cheap. 40 needles for 1£? It made me experiment a lot.” You explained.

“Wait…” He thought, remembering his school years too. “You bought them in the pharmacy, right? Because piercing needles aren’t that cheap.” He did the same thing.

“Yes exactly.” You smiled. “So all alone?” He asked.

“Yeah, lots of them looked like a crap at the first try, so it took me all of those 40 needles to end up with something like this.” You felt a bit embarrassment to admit something like that. But your therapist said that it’s important not to be ashamed of your mistakes.

“Damn,” Sirius adjusted in his seat. “Brave girl.” He quickly pulled the picture of young Y/n living in strict religious household and doing her piercings in the middle of the night just to feel something.

He felt like he was slowly connecting to you. Like something deeper was connecting you both. But you didn’t know and he felt this urge to tell you that. Very few people knew that, but he felt safe with you.

“My mum…” He started.

—

“You okay?” He asked when he felt you tensed up underneath his touch. You shook your head and he immediately stopped. Putting down his gun and cooling down your skin with the back of his cold gloves. “What’s wrong, angel?” His head was hovering over yours and he saw a few tears escaping your eyes

“I’m so sorry, it hurt so much, I just didn’t expect it.” You quickly apologised and wiped your tears away. Suddenly feeling so small and embarrassed under his gaze.

“It’s okay, sweet girl. No need to apologise, alright? Let’s take a break.” He helped you sit up, holding your back in case your head would want to go spinny.

“Deep breathes, we have all the time in the world.” He promised and you took a deep shaky breath. “Here, drink up.” He handed you the fruit tea that was actually cold by now.

“Thank you.” You squeaked and nursed on the tea.

“I would like to say that we can stop, but that would make our tattoo unfinished.” He joked and you chuckled. Oh that sweet smile of yours, it’s gonna get him in trouble.

“No, I can do it.” You assured him and he smiled. “Knew you are brave.”

—

“Are you planning any piercings?” He asked as he was back on your skin.

“I actually do!” You tilted your head at him. You didn’t even wait for him and started talking. It felt like he found the right topic to talk about.

“I definitely want to get septum and tongue. I’m sure that both nostrils too.” You had this dreamy look on you, smile all sweet and pure.

“The rebel is rebelling.” You both laughed at that.

—

“I’ll talk to Remmy and find which one of us is free sooner and I’ll text you later today, alright?” He was walking you towards the main door, walking behind you like a dog.

“How do you feel though, everything okay?” He placed his hand on your shoulder, stopping you like he wasn’t ready to let you go yet.

“Yes of course! I’m gonna expect your message then. And yes I’m all okay. Just the tissue on the tattoo feels so fucking weird.” You shivered as you said that.

“You can take it off in a few hours, alright?”

—

“I see someone is love strucked.” Remus teased as he hugged his boyfriend from behind, tickling his tummy.

“She’s so magical.” Sirius breathed out.

“What was the with who’s free sooner, hm?” He asked as he kissed his neck. “For piercing.” Sirius said as he still eyed the door you left with.

“And probably for a date too. She’s way too sweet to left behind.” Sirius turned around in his arms and Remus laughed. “So now she’s sweet and not nice and weird?” Remus teased.

“Ah, fuck off mate. That was a glitch in matrix of me.”

#wolfstar #poly wolfstar x reader #tattoo au sirius black #tattoo au remus lupin #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x reader fluff #wolfstar x you #wolfstar x you fluff #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x y/n fluff #tattoo artist!sirius black #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black x you fluff #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x y/n fluff #freefall au

827 notes · View notes

wyvernquill · 8 months

Text

Finally some more Dreamling Anastasia AU!

(Obligatory link to the masterpost with all the other posts in this AU - it's also pinned at the top of my blog!)

So, it's been... a while... but I've recently finally got some motivation to write a bit more of this. Apologies to everyone really looking forward to the finale/resolution - I've decided to go all the way back to the start of the story, instead. I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!

(Tag list: @10moonymhrivertam @martybaker @globglobglobglobob @anonymoustitans @sunshines-fabulous-legs @dreamsofapiratelife @malice-kingdom - since it's been a, uh, really long time, please let me know if you're no longer interested in this AU/fandom and don't want to be tagged anymore, I won't mind! On the other hand, if someone else would like to be tagged in future updates, please let me know!)

---

“Sister… it’s me.”

The man on the dilapidated theatre’s stage shrugs a heavy, moth-eaten velvet coat off his narrow shoulders. It crumples into a dark semi-circle around him, releasing a dramatic cloud of dust.

“Dream… of the Endless~”

“Ah. Hm.” A somewhat fussy older gentleman in the empty space usually reserved for the audience adjusts the small circular glasses on his nose, grimacing in a polite and distinctly English way - which he has, once, after first coming to this realm and taking this form, spent hours practising in the mirror - while checking a long list in front of him. “Mr… Carter, was it…?”

“Oh, please.” The man on stage flicks back his white-streaked bangs. “Call me Hal.”

“Yes. Of course, Mr. Hal.” The gentleman purses his lips. “That was… not, er. Not terrible, I suppose. And we’re pleased to note that you appear to have… brought your own cloak.”

“Don’t get used to it. Zelda and Chantal only let me borrow it for the audition.”

“Well, it is a lovely cloak. Only, ah, while Dream of the Endless was known to have quite striking eyes, I do think that, perhaps a little less eyeliner…”

“I could tone it down, I suppose, but I really think the performance would lose something without the makeup.” Hal sighs melodramatically. “I can sing and dance too, if you need it for your… what is this audition for, actually? Play? Music hall show? Ooo, one of those moving pictures?”

“Er.” The gentleman fidgets with his cane, grass-green eyes flickering around the empty theatre. “Well-”

“Thank you, Hal.” The younger man beside him interrupts with a winning smile that only barely covers the boredom and frustration lining a rather ruggedly handsome face. “We’ll let you know.”

“Hm.” Hal, clearly enough of an old hand in the acting business to know a polite “you’re not getting the role, piss off” when he hears one, frowns, and bends down to gather up the borrowed cloak, stalking off towards stage exit right with his head held high, not deigning either of the two men with even one more look.

“...I really do not think this will work, young Robert.” The older man mutters, decisively striking through Hal Carter’s name on his list. It is the last. “None of them look even remotely like him. And the voice-”

“I know, Gil. I know.” The younger man, Hob - only Gilbert is proper and precise enough to call him Robert - rubs at his temples, as if to stave off a headache. “They never manage to get the voice right, do they.”

“Ah, if it were only that…” Gilbert sighs, setting the list down. His eyes are soft and unfocused, seeing far into a past that has long since been razed to the ground. “His Lordship, he… he had a certain air about him, you understand. An otherworldly strangeness. He was the dream-maker, and dream-made, and to look at him was to gaze upon infinity.”

A soft scoff.

“Even if we claim that he has been greatly reduced by being turned into a meagre human - no offence, dear friend - as long as he does not have some spark of endlessness about him, nobody who has ever met him would fall for the ruse. And we are attempting to con his family. I simply cannot see any viable path to success.”

Hob does not respond, for a moment, picking up one of the flyers on their table.

It reads:

SEEKING Actor, slender, pale, tall, dark-haired, in the 20-40 age range to play the role of Dream of the Endless (method actors preferred). Generous pay and further benefits await. Auditions each weekday at 6pm at the Old Whickber Street Theatre, Soho. Ask for Hob and Gil.

“We’ll find him.” Hob insists. “The perfect pretender. He’s out there, I just know it.”

“We are not the first fools who have attempted a, a caper of this sort.” Gil points out, almost gently. “None of the others ever succeeded.”

“Yes. Well. None of the others managed to find and correctly identify the late Dream’s own pouch of genuine dream-sand on sale at the black market.” Hob shoots back, gesturing at the cord just barely peeking out from under Gil’s collar. (They’ve decided it would be safer if Hob comes into contact with the sand as little as possible, and Gilbert has taken to carrying it as closely to his heart as he can manage.) “It’s hard evidence, Gil, it’s a sign, it’s our chance - and it might just be enough. The trick with a good con is really making it look like you’re giving the mark exactly what they desperately want… and there’s nothing in the world Death of the Endless wants more than to have her brother back.”

(She wants it so desperately, in fact, that she’s offering immortality to any sentient being who manages to procure Dream for her.

And, well.

There’s nothing in the world Hob wants more than to live forever…)

“Your word in- or, well, kept out of Destiny’s ears, young friend.” Gil sighs, collecting his lists and notes and the remaining flyers, tucking them into his coat and reaching for his cane. “In the meantime, how about we go down to the public house and have a bit of a snifter to wash away the memories of all those atrocious performances, eh, my lad?”

“Best idea you had all day, Gil.” Hob grins, clapping a hand on Gilbert’s shoulder. “Are you buying?”

Gilbert raises one grey brow. “At the risk of provoking a joke regarding my non-human status: in your dreams, Robert.”

Hob laughs; and, together, they step out into the winter night, old snow crunching under their shoes and new flakes beginning to drift, gradually, down from the sky.

It has been a decade since the end of the Endless’ reign.

Ten years since humanity tore Destiny’s book from his hands and burned it.

Ten years since Destruction abandoned his siblings, hiding away in his own, separate exile.

Ten years since Despair’s first aspect was killed, and another took her place.

Ten years since Delight went mad with grief and became Delirium…

And ten years since Dream of the Endless was captured, bound, turned human, and killed.

People still whisper about it. Still speculate, trade gossip and hearsay back and forth. Some insist that the Dream King yet lives, hidden away, turned human, just biding his time, waiting for an opportunity to return to his siblings.

It’s a lovely legend, Hob supposes. A fitting end and non-end, for the Lord of Stories, to live on in one… but that’s all it is. A pretty tale, which will breathe new life into a myth only for as long as it’s being told. It isn’t true…

…but now, ten years later, Hob and Gil will damn well make it so.

Ten years is also, coincidentally, all that a man a few streets down from the old theatre can remember of his life.

Ten years since he was found, naked and emaciated and bleeding, in a ditch next to some countryside road in East Sussex.

Ten years of fighting his way through a life in poverty, with no family, no friends, no-one to care for him, except perhaps the birds.

Ten years of strange and haunting dreams, blurred faces calling out to him with names he can never remember later but knows are his; ten years of waking every morning with tears on his face and a longing for someplace - and someones - he wishes he could remember; ten years of a woman’s voice begging him night after night to come home to her, to them.

Ten years of being much too busy starving and freezing and barely surviving to spare even a single thought to the dying legends of the Endless.

This man turns his face up to the sky, snowflakes catching in his dark hair and on his coat like stars glinting in the night; and he shivers, his breath clouding mist-white in the air, curling thin arms around a narrow torso.

(For a moment, just a moment, his eyes glow dark and infinite, a mirror to the night sky and the endless universe beyond.)

And then, he ducks his head down into his scarf, shivers again, and continues on through the snow.

Ten hard years have taught this man better than to waste his time standing about and daydreaming.

#WyWrites #dreamling #the sandman #anastasia dreamling au #it's been 84 years......#i've got a rough draft of a scene or two after this too #endlessly busy with uni of course #and getting back into Good Omens my old love #but i've been feeling like dabbling with this au again lately so why not #and i just HAD to give you Hal doing the iconic coat drop scene #he would have been iconic as drag Dream of the Endless just saying #Hob and Gil are missing out #and the first glimpse of Murphy... I can see it in my mind's eye so clearly #him looking up at the sky with the stars in his eyes and the snow in his hair #and Death forever calling out to him in her sleep #gosh have i missed this au #can't guarantee too much more #but a few more bits are definitely in the works!

90 notes · View notes

ameliatheperson · 28 days

Text

Nicknames

@wolfstarmicrofic

April 1st, prompt: Summer Camp AU- 671 words

As Remus walked past the gate and to the hubbub of activity that was the summer camp his parents had sent him to, he pushed a smile onto his face and worries out of his mind. Through the din, he made out one particularly loud voice, belonging to a boy around his age with jet-black hair down to his shoulders and a mischievous grin.. He was calling out to people- friends, Remus assumed- but Remus was only confused about the sheer amount of nicknames he was using, unless there were people actually named “Prongs”, “Wormtail” or “Flower”. Remus barely noticed that he had stopped walking until the boy seemed to notice him pondering.

“Hey, you new?” The boy asked, after he had walked over to greet Remus. He was a good bit shorter than Remus, with almost shocking grey eyes. “My name’s Sirius, but my friends call me Padfoot. I’m gonna need a nickname for you, if we’re friends.” At that, he flashed a grin.

Remus nodded and smiled. “I’m Remus. Do you need to have a nickname for everyone you meet?”

“Mhm!” The shorter boy, Padfoot, nodded. At Remus’ questioning look, he said “My family is annoyingly proper, so this is the one time of the year I actually get to have fun.” That sounds reasonable, Remus thought.

“Since you’re new, do you need a tour guide? I know the ins and outs of this camp, I’ve been going since I was eleven!” Sirius explained.

“How could I ever pass this up then?” Remus joked, and they were off.

- -

Remus tossed and turned in the bunk that would be his for the rest of the summer. It must have been at least half past eleven, maybe even nearing midnight, and Remus hadn’t had a wink of sleep. You’d think that after the day he’d had- the meeting people, the moving in, the activity introductions- that he'd be out like a light. But alas, here Remus was, feeling the energy coursing through him.

Once he was sure he wouldn’t be sleeping that night, Remus decided to at least get his restless energy out. He tiptoed down the ladder in his bunk and padded towards the door to the cabin, being careful not to wake any of his bunkmates.

Once he was safely outside, he started walking on the path, stretching his limbs. He didn’t even notice he wasn’t alone until a familiar voice sounded from his side, making him jump.

“Can’t sleep? Or do you just have a habit of mysterious night walks?” Remus turned sharply to see that head of long, dark hair and that playful smile. Sirius’ eyebrows raised seeing the taller boy’s shock. “Wow, you need to be more aware of your surroundings,” He joked, starting to walk down the trail. After a beat, Remus started and rushed to catch up.

“Uh, yeah” Remus answered his question, attempting to keep up through his awe. “I, uh, have trouble sleeping sometimes. It’s nothing,” Remus cleared his throat in an attempt to make his heartbeat slow back down. “And what about you?” He turned the question on Padfoot, trying to gain more knowledge about this boy.

Sirius only smiled. “No, I don’t. I was only curious as to what you were doing. You know there’s a buddy system for a reason, right? You never know what’s out in these woods.” With that, he grinned up at Remus.

Remus huffed. It can’t be that bad, right? “You think I’m afraid of some deer or squirrels?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“I’ve heard there’s also wolves that come through!” Padfoot rebutted with an air of faux mystery.

“Remus rolled his eyes and quipped, “I don't reckon wolves could be too bad, I’ve got dogs at home.”

After a moment of thought, Padfoot’s eyes lit up with some sort of discovery. “I know what I’ll call you now!”

“Hm?”

Since you’re so buddy-buddy with wolves and go on mysterious night walks, you’ll be Moony.”

And, for the rest of the summer, he was.

(author talking time: Hey, thanks for reading this! I'm still a beginner writer, this is my second microfic so bear with me :] thanks to @skye-draws-stuff for proofreading this for me and helping finish it up! if anyone has any critiques it would be much appreciated, and have a great day/night!)

#remus lupin #marauders fanfic #wolfstar microfic #wolfstar #sirius black #wolfstar fic #wolfstar fanfiction #Amelia writes

26 notes · View notes

moosemonstrous · 4 months

Text

Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - acceptable losses

Tony hates the countdown display. It doesn’t make him feel any better that it was, technically, his idea to put it up in the first place.

You can see the clock from anywhere in the dome, and the support side has its own copy. It’s inescapable, the orange glow illuminating his every anxious thought, the soundless downtick keeping him awake at nights even in his apartment in the city.

He’s redone the calculations again. His math checks out. It always checks out, because you can use numbers to lie to others but not to yourself. His predictions have been broadly correct five out of six times over the last three years. Every time, he hopes to be wrong, and knows that he isn’t – the water temperature in the immediate one thousand feet around the Breach rose by point-oh-three degrees overnight, T minus seventy two hours. The submarine drones haven’t reported any lesser beasts coming through since Thursday.

The next demon is coming. And they’re two jaegers short.

“Crimson Typhoon won’t be ready in time,” Ivanov drums his fingers on the metal surface of his desk. He’s not prone to nervous ticks. Half the time, Tony can only spot his tells because he spent his twenties at a poker table. “We need to make a decision.”

Of course, he doesn’t want to be the one to explicitly make it. He’s been avoiding the subject altogether for weeks now. On one hand, Tony kind of feels bad for him, because he vaguely remembers the funerals after The Charger’s last run and nobody was having a good time with it. On the other, it’s not Ivanov who’s name will be on the outcome report if they— God damn it.

“We’re going to get that kid killed,” he sighs.

“We are at war. And your protégé seems confident.”

“Uh, yeah, call me when he ever doesn’t, I’ll mark the date.” He’s still so smug about that damn Kwoon sim, too. Explain that, he said, and Tony never wished so much he’d spent any proper time on neurology in his life. Vicky threw in the towel at this point – Reyes is too speculative for her. There’s a reason medical doesn’t come under R&D. “No point delaying the inevitable, huh?”

“We can delay all we like,” Ivanov grunts. At least he doesn’t look like he likes it any more than Tony does, even if he suspects it’s for very different reasons. “But if we don’t use The Charger and the next demon goes through the port like Bladecrest did through Los Angeles, we are all out of a job.”

Trust the soldier to make it about the bottom line. “Great. I’ll pick up the black box reports from the archive on my way down.”

Ivanov raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think I changed my mind on this?”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony rounds on his desk, slamming a palm down. “You have to declassify them. I can’t sign off on a trial drift if we don’t know—”

Ivanov cuts him off, looking at Tony’s hand like he’s fantasising about cutting it off, too. “I will tell you what you need to know,” he says in the same tone of voice he uses to explain the week’s biosamples have been held back in customs again. It’s bullshit, but not in any way Tony can argue against. “Hell Charger malfunctioned from corruption damage. She killed both of her pilots,” God, Tony hates when he uses people pronouns for that thing, “and almost everyone in the hangar that night. I have been trying to get her taken apart for scrap from the second I made rank. I was always told the expense is prohibitive, there must be something else to make her work.” He stands to lean over the desk. Tony takes an involuntary step back. “She killed six potential pilots over the years, but I’m sure you and Cho know what you’re doing.”

There are many things Tony wishes he could take back. Most of the last fifteen years, if he’s feeling dramatic. None quite so fervently as the moment he thought he can get back at the Colonel for blatantly breaking the same rules he uses to red-tape Cho’s research.

“Ivanov, come on,” he pleads. “You can’t expect me to fly blind on this."

The Colonel’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe a tragedy is what we need to end this vibranium deadlock.”

Amadeus isn’t used to having second thoughts. He takes in the available information, draws the potential conclusions and picks the most reasonable course of action – there are no unpredictable outcomes, only missing data.

He really, really thought he’d have The Charger’s run reports before doing this, though.

“He can always say no,” Jen said when she put together the paperwork. “The risks are clearly outlined in section fifteen. All we can do is make sure he reads it.”

Reyes is definitely reading it. Amadeus has been sitting on his hands for an hour while Ivanov, Jen and one of the tech reps go over the thick stack of liability documents. He’s not allowed in the room as to avoid influencing the final decision – like out of everyone, it’s him who can convince Reyes of anything.

Mostly, he can chalk up his anxiety to excitement – finally, things are moving along. Finally, he’ll get to test his long-standing theory about Hell Charger and prove that Banner was right all along. Finally, they can start working on Tony’s abandoned personal armour project instead of drowning billions upon billions of dollars in unsustainable, power-intensive, unwieldy jaegers that are as likely to cause destruction as to prevent it.

Section sixteen outlines provisions for dependants in case of the test subject’s demise. Until this morning, Amadeus didn’t think much of it. Now it’s inextricably linked to the face of a little kid in a wheelchair who laughed at the model demon liver he keeps in his office. He’s maybe starting to see why Tony hasn’t been as thrilled as he’d expected him to be.

“This better goes exactly as you think it will,” Tony said. Amadeus can’t get his expression out of his mind; like this was his worst nightmare coming to a head, rather than the long-awaited breakthrough they’ve been working towards.

The countdown display ticks down from forty four to forty three hours. Even if everything goes exactly right, even if Reyes’s ghost drift with the jaeger is everything Amadeus hopes it to be, it’s still a crapshoot whether they’ll be able to use it in a fight. Simulators are one thing; they don’t have the firepower to keep someone on rookie-watch on his first run. Coyote Tango already agreed to take point, with Eden Assassin and Romeo Blue on support. Other Shatterdomes have been steadily reporting their own preparations – there’s no reason to assume anything will go wrong, but there was no indication the demon would target L.A. rather than Lima, either. Each base isn’t so keen on sending their jaegers to a single location when it’s no longer a given they can reliably predict the target. Best to wait and hope.

“Relax, kid,” Tony hands him a can of soda. “It’s out of your hands now.”

Amadeus inspects the can. It’s orange, because Tony Stark is a deeply deranged individual. He drinks it anyway – he desperately needs the sugar after the night of checking and re-checking everything.

“I could still call it in.”

“Ha.” There is no humour in Tony’s voice. “Director-general signed off on the motion. It’s too late to call anything but go.”

“He could say no.”

The cameras in the meeting room are angled just awkwardly enough to show the way Reyes digs his nails into the skin around his wristband. He’s got a good poker face, but it’s painfully obvious how nervous he is. He seemed genuinely surprised when Amadeus told him they’re ready to trial him on The Charger. He couldn’t not have seen it coming... Right?

Brooks, up until that point silent and still as a statue in the corner of the obs room, makes a ‘meh’ gesture. “He acts all reluctant, but he’s been putting the time in. Besides, if he says no and the base falls, he’s as dead as the rest of us.”

It’s exactly the kind of logic Amadeus has been employing all along. It doesn’t carry the same convincing power, coming from someone else. On the camera feed, the rep reacts with displeasure at something Ivanov has said, but Reyes starts nodding and reaching for a pen.

It’s happening. Amadeus holds his breath as Reyes flips the pages of the liability agreement and signs in the indicates fields.

Tony makes a strangled noise. “I’ll get the techs to start prepping the Conn-Pod. Amadeus?”

He can’t look away from the screen. “Yeah?”

“For your sake, I hope this is worth it.”

#Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU #robbie reyes #amadeus cho #Tony Stark #Yegor Ivanov #You know when you realise halfway down a paragraph that maybe #The concept is a bit above your writing skill?#Anyway posting before I talk myself out of it

16 notes · View notes

koko-doodle · 1 month

Text

Demon Vamp AU: Chapter 4

Summary: You’ve met two monsters now, brothers as it seems. What happens next, what kind of impression will you get from these strange monster twins?

Words: 3,136

Chapter 1: Life’s End

Chapter 2: Life Anew

Chapter 3: The Meeting

Chapter 4: First Impressions

AO3 Link

“You’ve been through a lot in the past 24 hours, I am certain you must be hungry or thirsty at least.” The monster in front of you says.

”No.” You quickly respond, hearing the word thirsty made you uncomfortable. You had only been a hybrid vampire for an hour, drinking blood…. was the last thing you wanted to do, now or anytime in the future. The monster seemed to understand where your thoughts were and his smile softened.

“I meant food dear, regular food. And a drink of water maybe? Or milk, we might even have some juice too if you’d prefer that.” He taps a finger on his temple while he looks over to the fridge with a thoughtful gaze. “I have quite a few things I can make; are you in the mood for some breakfast food or would you like something more like lunch? It may be afternoon already but you are just getting up.” He chuckles.

“You mean… you aren’t going to force me to…” You trial off, not even wanting to say the words out loud.

“Drink blood?” He finishes for you. “No, you will need to at some point but not right at this moment. You have enough to try and digest already, we don’t need to push things so quickly. Let’s just take things one step at a time, okay friend?”

You hear the vampire mutter something to himself across the room, glaring unhappily at the monster in front of you. It didn’t seem like he liked the idea of taking things slow but the monster simply waved a hand at him without turning to look at him.

“And don’t mind him, his bark is worse than his bite. He’s really just a shy monster with terrible social skills.”

“Excuse me?!” The vampire snaps.

“You know, we haven’t even had a proper introduction! How rude of me, terribly sorry friend. My name is Sun, the grump over there is my brother Moon. And you are?”

You give him your name and he gives you a small bow.

“Well it is lovely to meet you, albeit under…. troublesome circumstances.” You must have had an unpleasant look on your face because he nervously adjusted his collar and cleared his throat with an awkward smile.

“So, back to business! If you could have any kind of food right now what would it be? What sounds good to you? What are you craving right this very second?” Sun says, apparently still focused on feeding you.

“I don’t understand… Why would a vampire need food?” You ask confused. Moon bursts into laughter and Sun stifles a laugh himself.

“Vampires don’t only drink blood dear, that’s a human myth. We need it to survive, yes, but we can’t survive on blood alone. We eat food just like any other monster or human.” Sun replies, hiding his laughter behind a soft smile.

“I find human knowledge of monsters so funny, like, how did you manage to get the biology of monsters so wrong over the past 500 years? Did your ancestors not write that down somewhere?” Snarks moon in between laughs.

“It’s not- ahem. It’s not funny” Sun corrects, clearing laughter from his own throat. “Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I encourage you to. I uh, apologize for the inappropriate reaction, your question just caught us off guard.”

Moon is still chuckling in the corner, amused. You frown, diverting your gaze from the brothers. If they were human you might have been embarrassed by them laughing at you but they weren’t, it only made you mad and uncomfortable.

“So, food?” Sun asks again.

You sigh. “Anything?” You ask, figuring he wouldn’t stop asking til you answer. “Mmhm!” He nods. It took you a moment to think of something but an answer did eventually come to you. “French toast kind of sounds good...” You reply softly.

“Mmm good choice!” He claps, making his way to the fridge. “I have some eggs I actually need to use up so that works out perfectly. Do you want a drink while you are waiting? It will only take me a few minutes to whip it up for you.” He pulls a carton of eggs and milk out of the fridge and sets them on the counter.

”Just some water…” You respond, watching him busy at work gathering more things from various cabinets.

“Make me some too while you’re at it, that sounds good.” Moon chimes in with a mouthful of chips, shoving the bag back into the cabinet he was digging through.

“You can make your own, I’m still mad at you.” Sun retorts, cracking eggs into a bowl.

“Wha- seriously?! You are going to be all petty over this?” Moon says annoyed.

”We will discuss this later when we don’t have a guest listening.” Sun replies.

“You’re joking right? You’re really that mad?” Moon jests.

“LATER Moon.” Sun snaps back in a sharp tone. “Now be useful and get our friend a drink please.”

Moon grumbles angrily but eventually walks to a cabinet and grabs a glass, he then fills it with water from a pitcher he pulled from the fridge and slams the door shut making glass clink loudly together from within. When Sun shoots an unpleasant glance at him he just responds “Oops” and makes his way to you to hand you the drink. So far these two act like a pair of young teenagers or children, you had seen similar behavior in the youth around the towns you patrolled. You never had siblings so you can’t relate to the feeling of sibling rivalry but you at least know what it looks like. You can’t tell their age exactly but you guess they might be just a bit older than you, in appearance at least. Or were they younger than you? How do you even tell a monster's age?

”You are welcome to have a seat at the table while things cook, don’t feel like you have to stand there the whole time.” Sun says cheerily while whisking the egg mixture together with some spices.

You comply, sitting down at the small table that is directly across from the island that sat at the center of the room. You take small sips of the water and the cool sensation feels good against your dry throat and mouth. Moon takes a seat at a chair across the table from you and fiddles with the bell on his hood, soft chimes echoing in the room occasionally. He doesn’t look at you directly, he steals glances when you are busy observing other things around the room but as soon as you start to look back his way he shifts his gaze in the opposite direction. This went on for several minutes, the only sound was the sizzling of the stove Sun was cooking on and Moon’s bell. It was weird and kind of annoying. He clearly isn’t afraid to speak his mind so why he was avoiding you now is odd.

“What?” You bark after having enough of his strange staring. “What yourself, what’s your problem now?” He retorts.

”You’re staring at me, stop it.” You grumble.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’m not staring at you. I’m simply observing you.” His bell jingles and he gives a sly smile.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m able to see you in more detail with the light, I can see better how inhuman you look now.” He places an elbow on the table and leans his head into his hand. “How does it feel to be a monster now dearest?” He sneers with a wicked smile.

You were about to protest with a snide remark when a wet towel hits him right in the face with a loud SMACK. He jolts back in his chair and rips the towel off his face in surprise, turning his head to glare angrily at Sun who was approaching with a plate in hand.

“Oops.” Sun says dully. “My hand slipped.” He sets the plate in front of you where two pieces of French toast were stacked artfully on top of another with a light dust of powdered sugar on each piece. There was a little square of butter on the top that was starting to melt into the bread, it smelled delicious and looked like something you would be served at a fancy diner of some sort.

“Here you go! It’s my mother’s special recipe, perfectly sweet but a hint of spice for some extra flavor. One of my favorite breakfast go-to’s as well.” He smiles down at you. “Oops! I forgot the syrup, silly me.” He makes his way back to the counter grabbing a bottle of syrup, some utensils, and another plate. He places the bottle and utensils in front of you then sets the other plate down in front of a chair next to you. He looks over to Moon who is still wiping the water from his face with a displeased look. “There is batter and bread on the counter, feel free to cook it yourself.” Sun says with a passive aggressive tone as he sits down.

Moon growls yet again glaring daggers at his brother who gives no reaction of course, until he finally relents and gets up to begin cooking his own breakfast for lunch. Sun waited patiently for you to pour the syrup on your plate before he did the same, although he didn’t start eating right away. He watches you with an eager expression as you take your first bite, that is, after he stared at you awkwardly enough for you to understand that he wanted you to start eating first. The taste was sweet mostly from the syrup and had the classic French toast flavor you were familiar with but there was a hint of something else. A spice taste lingered in your mouth after you had swallowed but it was not a hot kind of spice, it was a nutty and woody kind of flavor that reminded you of Christmas time. It was delicious.

“Sooooo? What do you think? And be honest, I haven’t cooked for many humans before so I don’t know if it’s an acquired taste or not.” He says.

”It’s good, I don’t think I’ve had any French toast that tastes like this before. What is that aftertaste?” You ask.

“Ground cinnamon and vanilla with a hint of nutmeg. Gives a little more kick to the flavor besides just eggs, milk, and bread.” He hums a soft laugh. “If you want more just let me know, I’m happy to get it for you.”

”Thanks…” You say softly.

It felt odd to thank a monster but he had been nothing but kind to you since you met, it seemed rude to not say something for preparing you a meal. Your head starts to spin with questions, not like you didn’t have many before but now it was hard to get your mind to focus on just one. Why was this monster being so nice to you? His brother was threatening to kill you moments earlier, didn’t he feel the same way? What did he mean when he said he ‘hasn’t cooked for a lot of humans’, were other humans down here? Where exactly is here anyway? And what was going to happen after you finished eating? It didn’t seem like Sun was going to let Moon treat you poorly at least, but he also gave no indication you could go back to the small village you patrolled. What would Jeremy or Mike think if they saw you, would they even recognize you? Probably not… Your life as a human is gone, even if you could manage to escape any knight would drive a blade straight through your heart the moment they see you.

Sun notices you stop eating and stare blankly at your plate, a hollow expression on your face. He sets his fork down gently.

“Hey, I know this is a lot to process and I can’t even imagine how you feel right now…” He pauses giving you a saddened look as if he is searching for the right words to say. “Why would you care how I feel? You don’t even know me…” You whisper, not sure if you even said it out loud or not.

“You’re right, I don’t. But I would like to.” He replies. “I know humans and monsters haven’t gotten along in the past but that doesn’t mean that is how it has to be. A lot of us don’t want a war, we don’t take pleasure in killing or fighting any more than humans do. We may be different in appearance and ability but that doesn’t make us evil. We aren’t soulless killers.”

”But villages and cities… they are being attacked by monsters, I’ve fought in them first hand I know what it looks like. Supplies are stolen, houses raided, humans injured or killed, brutally most of the time. How can you say you aren’t evil when you’ve only shown hostility towards us?” You ask.

”Have you ever given us a chance to speak for ourselves?” Moon says, placing his plate on the table loudly. “Your kind locked us down here under a barrier for 5 centuries, did you really think that wouldn’t cause hard feelings if the barrier were to ever break?” He sits, snatching the bottle of syrup.

”What my brother means is, yes there are some monsters who do resent humans for what they did but it is a small minority. Most of us just want to live in peace, to coexist once again like we had before the war.” Sun states.

“But you humans made your assumptions about all monsters based on the actions of a few. You’ve put your defenses up so high, we couldn’t approach you even if we tried. You’re humans, we’re monsters, you don’t care if we want to be friends; you strike first and ask questions later.” Moon shoves a big bite of French toast in his mouth and Sun sighs.

“That’s not true!” You argue.

”Isn’t it?” Moon says with a mouthful.

“Moon, manners.” Sun jabs a glare at him but he just shrugs.

You think about what he was saying and the more you think about it, the more you realize it might be true. You were told from the beginning that monsters were bad, that they want nothing more to enslave humanity but that was based on knowledge from hundreds of years ago. If people can change so can monsters, maybe humans had thrown up their defenses too quickly. Moon might have a point, and that thought filled you with rage.

“If you want to be friends with humans so bad then why would you turn one? Why threaten to kill them moments after you claim you ‘saved’ their life. If being forced to become your play thing is what you call friendship then I’ll gladly decline your generous offer.” You hiss, your mind flitting back to earlier when he threw you against the wall. “If you truly want to make peace then reverse what you did and let me go.”

Moon only smiles and chuckles sinisterly, taking another bite of his food.

“I’m afraid that isn’t possible…” laments Sun. You look at him, trying not to let a pleading expression cross your face. “Vampire blood now runs in your veins and it’s bonded to your soul, your body has undergone a permanent physical transition. There is no way to undo it, even if we could you would go back to how you were before the blood entered your system which means you would be dead. What's done cannot be undone… I’m sorry…” He reaches out a hand and places it gently on yours, trying to comfort you.

You pull your hand away from his.

”So that’s it then. I’m stuck like this with no choice but to be some sort of hybrid pet for you to play with? Just some- some THING that isn’t supposed to even exist. Something to keep you entertained from your boring lives!” You huff, your gaze looking coldly across the table at Moon. “I’d rather be dead.”

They both say nothing. Moon stops eating and fiddles with the fork in his hand, your stare seeming to make him consider the situation for the first time. Sun looks at you, to his brother, then resigns to staring at his plate. You all sat in silence for what seemed like forever, not knowing what to say next. It was taking everything in you not to let all the weight of your thoughts come crashing down on you. You feel helpless and vulnerable, the same feelings you felt when your parents died. You’re alone again. The unknown of the future and great burden from the events unfolding, it was making you feel sick to your stomach.

“I don’t know what my brother has said to you but I do know that what he did was wrong and unfair. He had no right to do what he did to you but I can promise that you are not going to be some pet.” Sun says softly, his words feeling like they echo through the room. “We’ll help you through this, teach you what you need to know and answer any questions you have. We will go at your pace, whatever you feel comfortable with. You have my word that no harm will come to you while you are here. You will not be forced to do anything you don’t want to.”

Sun’s eyes lock with yours and you can see very faint indications of pale irises that you hadn’t noticed before. His expression is genuine, showing no sign of ill intent or hostility. He has a softer aura about him that Moon doesn’t have, a friendly and inviting one that makes you feel like you can truly trust him and his word. His actions in the short time you’ve known each other have been nothing but kind, maybe this monster really could be trusted. Perhaps even a chance that you could be friends.

“Is that enough to put your mind at ease at least a little?” Sun asks, concern in his voice.

You look over to Moon, his eyes narrow as his gaze was set on his brother then briefly flits to you. There was an expression there that only lasted a split second, so brief that you feel you could have imagined it. It wasn’t a look of frustration or anger, when his eyes shifted between the two of you, it was… softer. Guilt maybe? Concern? Confusion? No. Whatever it was it was hidden well behind his cold, sharp eyes. He was heartless, he made that very clear already.

You take a deep, shaky breath.

“It’s a start.”

#demon vamp au #vampire moon #writing #demon sun #vampire y/n

10 notes · View notes

medusapelagia · 6 months

Text

8 AU-gust: Robots and Androids- part 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 [...]

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson WT: Android Steve Harrington, Wanted Criminal Eddie Munson, Words: 2416

Dustin charges his battery really slowly, checking the level every few hours, before finishing adjusting the other damages on his body.

The strange girl with the short hair is always with him, sometimes with the older man, sometimes with a younger boy who seems to be her twin.

“What do you dream about?”

“I don’t dream. Usually.”

“What did you dream about when you were off line?”

S.T.E.V.E. shakes his head “I don’t really know. I saw two people talking and I felt someone caressing my face and calling me a pretty boy.”

“You are pretty.”

He has no concept of beauty. He knows some things about perfect beauty and he knows that his features are quite pleasant for the most, but he is just a machine.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asks him.

He doesn’t know how to answer the question “I should say I do. That’s the polite thing to do. But I really don’t know. Are you pretty?” he asks back and she smiles.

“Mum says I am.”

“Then she is probably right and you are.”

“So if I say you are pretty I am right.”

She makes a very compelling argument.

“I think so. It seems logical.”

She looks at him with interest “How do you like the name Eddie gave you?”

“Stevie?”

She nods.

“It's similar to my own, so it’s not too bad I suppose. But I am an android, I shouldn’t have a proper name.”

“Why?”

“I’m an object. Giving names to things may get you more attached to a thing than it is safe to be.”

“My name is El. And I like it.”

“Nice to meet you El.” He replies, then he hears the familiar ping of the full battery “Could you disconnect me from the electricity?”

“I should call Dustin. I don’t want to break you.” She says and then she gets out of the repair room.

He hasn’t seen his captive since the moment they restarted him and he wasn’t at his best. That boy wants him offline and he is not surprised. Dustin explained to him that when he went offline his chip went offline too and he is not sure that he got online when they restarted him.

Somehow he is free and that thought is absolutely terrifying to him.

Free to do what?

He is still just an object.

“Always those heavy thoughts. Life is fun Stevie, you should enjoy it more.” The boy says checking the status of the battery “Well the battery is old but better than your own. It got charged almost to 80%, not bad uh?”

“Is it going to recharge with movement like my older one?” he asks, suddenly preoccupied with living a life connected to a plug.

“Of course. This was an emergency charge but if you keep moving around the movement should keep it charging.”

Stevie nods and thanks the boy that finally closes his chest and hides his interior behind metal plates and fake skin.

“I’m sorry. It’s going to scar. You could replace them in some big center.”

“I don’t have any money and that kind of repairs are not cheap. I’ll be good with some scars.”

“Scars are bitching.” The girl says with a little grin.

“Bitching.” He confirms even if he is not sure what it means.

When he finally gets up the first question he asks is where is his captive.

“He is still in the infirmary. Joyce wants to be sure that he is ok before discharging him. We had quite a night, you know?”

“I’m sorry for putting your lives in danger. You should have left me somewhere outside and let me explode.”

“We don’t do this kind of thing.”

“Human does.”

“Not this human, ok?” Dustin repeats, pointing at himself.

The android nods, even more confused. He knows perfectly well that Eddie would have done it. Maybe he even suggested it. He is not sure. The memories of the last night are confused and mixed with those dreams, or memories, or…

“I love you Steve. Now and forever.”

The android shakes his head, as he is trying to clear his mind.

What was that?

“Hey! Stevie? You ok?” Dustin his in front of him, his hands on his shoulder.

“What… what happened?”

“You freeze for a moment. It can happen. The new battery does not have the same voltage the old one had. You have to get used to it. Are you feeling any better?”

Feeling. All these humans keep talking about feelings but he has no feelings, no sensations, no emotions, he is just a code of zeros and ones and a lot of logic, how could they not understand that? Especially Dustin who seems to know so much about robotics and mechanics.

“Yes.” He replies, only to stop them from looking at him with such pity.

The boys smile and then help him to get off the metal table “I think Joyce would love to have her table back.” Dustin suggests. It’s not an order, but S.T.E.V.E. obey nevertheless.

He pushes the table to the infirmary, knocking at the door before entering, like a polite human being.

“Come in.” The woman calls and when he opens the door he sees his captive still in bed with a drip in his arm and a very annoyed expression.

“Stevie. How nice to see you. Are you feeling any better? Thank you for bringing back my table. I really appreciate it.”

“Thank you for not letting me explode and kill everyone.” He replies and the smile on the woman falters for a moment.

Maybe it was not the most proper thing to say, but that’s what he thinks. Even if he is not sure if he can really think or it’s just an idea that someone else put in his head.

He looks at Eddie.

“Dustin told me that my chip went off line. So probably the Central thinks that I am dead.”

“Are you going to let me finally go?” the human asks with a grin.

“I can’t. You are a murderer and I can leave a murderer free to go where he wants.”

Eddie sighs “It seemed too good to be true.”

S.T.E.V.E. is confused “You are a criminal. You killed people and destroyed androids. Why should I free you? I know that you’ll go back to doing the same thing you were doing before and my purpose is to stop violence.”

“Oh. That’s your purpose metal can? I thought it was to make pressure on the poor guys like me. Listen, I already told you, I didn’t kill anyone. Vecna screwed me. Ok? I didn’t do it! I would have never! I loved Chrissy, ok? Yeah, I broke some metal cans like you, and I don’t regret it in the latest, but I didn’t kill any humans. Never! That’s not my mission.”

“And which one is your mission?”

“Free the world from the androids like you.”

The android looks at him perplexed “Why?”

“Why?! Are you asking me why?!”

The android nods “We help you do the jobs you don’t want to. We obey you. We can’t revolt against you. Why do you hate us? What have we done to you?”

“Don't act like you don’t know it! Your species kills us! We are going to get extinct and you are going to rule the galaxy!”

“Why should we? I mean, our only purpose in life is to serve. Every android is just a servant to a human. You can’t order me because you are a criminal, but if anyone else in this outpost should order me to do something I would do it. No question asks. Do you think I have never seen other androids break themselves because some annoyed human asked them to in some twisted way? Do you think I have never seen androids used as fuck toys? Or nannies. Or whatever humans needed or didn’t want to do? We are just object. Toys if you like, we just do what you order us.”

“Are you really saying to me that if I order you to make yourself explode you will?”

“No.. I will not. I told you. You are a criminal, that’s overrule the other rules. But if Joyce asked me to, I would have to if…” shit. He almost told me too much.

“If what…?”

He can’t lie to humans. Not even to criminals. And the question is too clear to avoid it “If I don’t find a way to overrule the order.” He replies, his plastic eyes fixed in Eddie’s.

“So you can overrule the laws.”

“No. I can’t overrule them. I can… I can find space to bend them. Sometimes. If the order is not too clear or too specific. But if it is, I can’t. I have to obey. If someone orders me to let me explode to save their cat I would have to do it.”

“Do it. Explode yourself.”

“How many times do I have to remind you that you are a criminal? Only legal citizens can order me around. Not you. Sorry.”

Eddie bursts out into laughter “Are you saying to me that you are sorry that you can’t make yourself explode if I ask you too?”

“As I told you, I’m just a servant to human beings.”

Joyce gets between the two “This conversation is really fascinating but I think that my patient needs some rest. Why don’t you ask Hopper if he needs any help. He is in the kitchen.”

He could elude this request, it’s not an order or a command, but everyone was nice to him and he has no motivation not to do it, so he nods and leaves the room.

He finds Hopper following the man complaining. The man is in a big room… cooking?

“Are you cooking?”

The man turns around. If androids could laugh he would. The man has an apron on and is mixing something in a big pot.

“I’m doing my best with the ration that we have. Thank god androids don’t eat. Less mouths to feed.”

A few times he tried to eat, a very stupid thing to do, but when he was young sometimes he forgot that he was just an object.

“Do you need any help?”

“Can you cook?”

“I don't, but I can download all the information that I need. Would you like that?”

“Yes, please. Try to find what we can cook with some freeze-dried carrots and canned meat.

S.T.E.V.E. closes his eyes and when he opens them he knows what to do. He manages to transform the meat into some kind of meatloaf and he makes a side plate with the freeze-dried carrots.

“God, I never thought about that. Asking an android to cook. I thought that you were specialized on some things and knew nothing of the rest.”

“That’s true but incorrect. I’m a hunter, I know everything about hunts, fights and war, but I can expand my knowledge if needed.” He stops and then he decides to ask a question “I know that androids should never ask questions but I have got one. Can I ask you?”

“Can I decide if I want to answer or not?” Hopper asks.

“You are a human. You can always decide. You have no Robotic Law to follow.” God, these humans are so silly. He really can’t understand how they managed to survive to that moment.

“Shoot.”

He lifts his index and shoots against the wall.

“What the fuck!” the man screams and suddenly all the other humans are in the kitchen. Joyce has a big rifle in her hands.

“What happened?” she inquires, looking at the android smoking gun that slowly transforms back into a finger.

“He asked me to shoot.”

“He did what?!”

“That’s not what I mean! He asked me if he could ask me a question and I said s… ask.”

“You said shoot. That was an order.” An order that he has obeyed so many times that it’s almost an automatism to him.

“It’s a figure of speech! It’s not… ok… sorry… my fault… I’ll try to be more specific when I talk with you but put away your… finger. And don’t shoot anyone!”

“Is that an order?”

“It’s an order. Don’t shoot. To anyone. And in any case not here! Ok?”

S.T.E.V.E. nods, then he points to the food “You can eat if you want.”

“Did you cook all of that?” Dustin asks, surprised.

“No, I can’t cook. The stove did it. I just put together the ingredients.” Jesus, these humans are really stupid, aren’t they?

“What was your question?” Hopper asks again and the android SHRUGS.

“It’s not important. Enjoy your meal.”

He leaves the room, the question still burning in his mind: why do you hate us if you are the one that made us?

***

The night in the desert is beautiful as always.

The air is cold and the stars are bright. He has downloaded a map of the stars of the planet just to know what he is looking at. He loves looking at the stars. He always did. He knows that somewhere, above him, there are still fights, wars and blood, but when the night is silent he can imagine that he is somewhere else. With someone else.

He keeps hearing a voice in his mind. A voice he doesn’t know but that he misses. How can he miss something that he has never known?

“They are beautiful, aren’t they?”

Stars. Planet. Galaxies.

He had wished for years to leave and he never could. Now he is free from his duty, more or less, but still a slave of the robotic laws. He could never travel around and hide himself with the other humans.

He must be identifiable. And with the new scars on his abdomen…

“You don’t have to follow the robotics laws if you don’t want to. Not here.” Joyce says, sitting next to him with a cup of tea in her hands.

“They are in my code.”

“Codex can be modified. You know that.”

“What am I if I don’t follow the robotic laws?”

Joyce smiles at him “You are really special.” she states, then she looks at the stars “Tell me what you know.” and S.T.E.V.E. starts to point at the stars and the planets that the woman can’t see.

Tag list: @shunna, @yourmom-isgay I hope you enjoy it!

#tumblr fic #myfanfic #steddie #au gust 2023 #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things fanfic #writing challenge #android AU #Android Steve Harrington #Wanted Criminal Eddie Munson #medusapelagia fanfic #medusapelagia #my fanfic

20 notes · View notes

fitrahgolden · 2 months

Text

Hold My Hand, I'll Walk With You: A Weary Memory Prequel

[NOTE: This is a short prequel to my previous story, Weary Memory. You don’t need to have read it (but you should know that in this AU the timeline of their parents’ deaths is very different from canon). This is simply a very fluffy “when Kate met Anthony” story.

Title is from “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men, lyrics by Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir and Ragnar Þórhallsson.]

Kate knew she should get back to socialising. She’d been having a genuinely good time at her first house party since moving to Oxford a few weeks ago. She mingled. She danced. She got loads of unsolicited advice from older students.

She'd taken a break from the nonstop conversations and stationed herself next to the chocolate fountain because, well, she wasn't expecting a chocolate fountain at a university party, and now the delicious setup was too good to abandon.

She was deciding between pineapple, strawberry, and angel food cake when a voice beside her broke through the homogenised hum of the party.

“I’d go with the pineapple,” he said, his tone suggesting he thought he was really helping her out.

Kate looked up and observed the stranger through narrow eyes before plucking a strawberry from the tray. She made a show of holding the fruit underneath the flowing chocolate, then stepped aside and waved a hand towards the space in front of the buffet she’d just vacated.

“Be my guest,” she said with a supercilious smile before taking a bite. She hadn’t meant to be this bold, keeping eye contact with a handsome man while eating a chocolate covered strawberry. Perhaps she was pulling it off, if the way he looked back at her was any indication. At least she managed not to roll her eyes back and moan like a proper seductress.

He looked away from her to pay attention to the spread, and Kate took the opportunity to shake herself out of whatever had moved her to be so brazen. She sipped the dregs of her drink and avoided watching him eat, but looked back at him just in time to see him lick some chocolate off of his thumb. Oh, give me a break.

“Can I help you with anything? Get you another drink?”

Kate shook her head, placing her glass down. “No, I’m good for now.”

He nodded, apparently losing none of the confidence he seemed to have a bit too much of. “Are you here with anyone?”

“One of my housemates.” Kate looked beyond him to quickly survey the room. “Well, she's here somewhere. She knows someone who knows…um, whose ever flat this is.”

“Bert Fife and Caleb Cho,” the man provided helpfully.

“Ah. I take it that you actually know them?”

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t, but yes. You, uh… You danced with Caleb earlier, actually.”

“Ha, did I really?”

“Yeah.” He pointed out the man in question across the room.

“Oh, him. Right. What a slag. I'll dance with anyone. Names are optional.”

“I wasn't–I mean…” He suddenly looked sheepish. “I just happened to notice you before. And now, I guess. You're very…noticeable.” The loss of some of his swagger was kind of adorable to witness.

“Am I?”

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Which makes me think this must be your first year. Or maybe you're a transfer, a Cambridge escapee? I haven't seen you around.”

Kate could not have stopped the laugh that bubbled out of her if she tried. “You haven't seen me around? That's hardly surprising in a sea of thousands of students, is it?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“No. No, I suppose it's not.” A hint of a wince pulled at his lips.

“Would you like to try a different line? Perhaps one better suited for the environment?” Kate asked encouragingly.

“Oh, think I'm trying to chat you up, do you?” His casual tone was betrayed by the blush creeping up his neck and the tips of his ears.

Kate’s own confidence shook a bit. Could I really be misreading this? “Surely, you can understand why I'd think that.”

Anthony took an eager step towards her. “Oh, absolutely. Mostly because I am, but it doesn't seem to be going too well.”

“No, but not too poorly, either.” She touched his shoulder. He looked at her hand and back at her.

“Oh? Care to help me out at all?”

Kate dropped her hand, and picked up her empty glass for something to fiddle with. “You could just ask me my name. It's not terribly creative, but you’ll find I'm a fan of practicality over flair.”

“Ah. Very helpful, indeed.”

There were several beats where they said nothing, just looked at each other.

Kate bobbed her head in confusion. “Well?”

“I can't very well ask immediately after you tell me to, now can I?” His smile was sly.

With a roll of her eyes, Kate asked, “What's your name, then?”

“Wait– Are you chatting me up?”

“Possibly.” Kate shrugged, trying her damndest to remain breezy.

“I'm Anthony.”

“Anthony?” she asked, with a hard “th.”

He shook his head.

“Anthony,” he enunciated. “With a ‘ta.’“

The way Anthony exaggerated the consonant sound drew Kate's attention to his mouth and the way his tongue peeked out just a little from between his teeth. I wonder if that's a move. He has lines, so surely he also has moves. I bet that “with a ‘ta'” nonsense is the only reason he pronounces it that way.

Kate realised too late her gaze was lingering on his mouth, looking up only once Anthony started smirking. And I totally fell for it, damn him.

Anthony with a “ta” put a hand on the wall behind Kate, and his forearm brushed against her shoulder as he leaned forward. “Would you like me to demonstrate again? Up close this time?”

Kate rolled her eyes. Definitely a move. “No, thanks. I'm a quick study, Anthony.” She noted it must work both ways, judging by how Anthony's eyes darted down to her lips. “Sounds quite posh, pronounced the proper way. Suits you.”

“Why doesn't that sound like a compliment?”

Kate tilted her head to one side, and Anthony seemed to reflexively tilt his head the same way as his eyes stayed trained on hers. “Perhaps because it isn't.”

“Well, if your name isn't the epitome of humbleness, I'll be very disappointed.”

“Kate,” she said simply. “Unassuming enough for you?”

He didn’t respond immediately. His eyes were roaming her face. Once his gaze fell back to hers, he said, “I think it's beautiful. Suits you.”

Kate looked down at her feet, unsure how to respond to that.

“Did I just lose points?” The question was laced with genuine concern.

“No.” Kate shook her head and looked back up at Anthony. “No, that was…sweet. I'll reward you by telling you you were right.”

“I love hearing that.”

“I'm not even a little bit surprised.”

“What specifically am I right about, though?”

“I am a first year.”

“What are you going to study?”

“Fine art.”

Anthony lit up. “Oh, yeah? My brother’s in London at the Royal College of Art. He’s brilliant.”

“Oh, cool.” Please don’t try to set me up with you brother. “And what about you?”

“Creative writing.”

“Ooh, you’re a writer.”

“Eh, at this point calling myself a writer would be an insult to writers, I think. But, someday soon, I hope. My family owns a publishing company, so I’ll have a huge audience anticipating my failure.”

Kate furrowed her brows. “Not your family, surely.”

“No, no. My parents are…stiflingly supportive. I mean everyone else at the company. They’re certain I wouldn’t have a prayer without having my family to publish my work.”

Kate said nothing, but he must have read her face.

“You think they’re right,” he said, smiling.

Kate raised her hands, “Look, I don’t know you. You could be brilliant. But nepotism is alive and well, is all.”

Anthony nodded. “No, I understand. I can’t deny I’m in a very privileged position.”

“At least you’re aware. The bar is low, but that’s not nothing.”

Their conversation moved along easily, at a fast clip. Kate eventually felt comfortable enough to let Anthony get her another drink. About an hour later, they were still talking, side by side against a wall in the corner, their arms brushing.

“Hey,” Anthony whispered as he turned to look at Kate.

“Yes?”

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

A surprised laugh escaped her without her permission. Anthony seemed unfazed. He just continued to search her eyes with his, waiting.

“Yeah,” Kate whispered. The room might have been too loud for Anthony to even hear her. “That would be alright.”

She leaned toward him and he met her in the middle. It was soft and tentative. Certainly softer than Kate thought he would kiss her, because she had definitely been thinking about it for the better part of their conversation, and hoped he had been to.

After the first careful meeting, Anthony put a hand up to Kate's jaw, slaying his fingers over her cheek and throat, but applying no pressure, not until his thumb pressed down just beneath her bottom lip, and Kate opened her mouth in response. It was too loud to hear their sighs and moans, so they relied on the accompanying vibrations for feedback. Presumably feeling the need to breathe, Anthony started to back away. Kate let him go, but not before nipping his bottom lip.

“...Kit,” he groaned.

Kate tutted, and their noses brushed as she shook her head. “And things were going so well. Already calling me the wrong name?”

“Never.” Anthony looked dazed. “No one calls you that?”

“No,” she laughed, bemused. “Why would they?”

“I don't know. It just…” He looked down at her lips and made a lazy path back up to her eyes. “...feels right.”

“Because your last Kate was called Kit?” It was a joke, but it sounded a bit too mean to her ears when she heard it come out of her mouth. Anthony didn't seem offended, though. Maybe there was a last Kate. His gaze was piercing when he responded.

“As far as I'm concerned, no other Kate exists.”

Oh.

“I have to give it to you, being renamed after one kiss, that's a new one for me,” Kate said, trying to regain her footing.

“Me, too.” He absentmindedly twisted a lock of her hair around his finger, threatening to throw her right back off balance. “Can I keep calling you that?”

“I think…” Kate started, but cleared her throat when her voice sounded annoyingly breathless. “Whether I want you to keep calling me anything at all remains to be seen.”

“That's fair. I think you like it, though.” He was obviously quite pleased with himself.

“I…” Kate tried her best to muster a glare. “It remains to be seen,” she repeated weakly.

Anthony’s smile was warm. “May I take you somewhere?”

Kate’s eyebrows shot up. “Um… Where were you thinking?”

“The White Rabbit, have you heard of it? It’s close.”

While Kate thought about it, Anthony quickly added, “Or I could just drop you off at yours, and we could talk more on the way.”

“Let me see your licence.” Kate held her hand out as Anthony dutifully dug for his wallet. She exaggeratedly scrutinised the card. “Alright, Anthony…Bridgerton. I’d love some real food. I'm just gonna take a picture of you to send to my housemates.”

Anthony backed up so Kate could take a picture, but he kept making faces, and she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Stop posing!” Kate commanded. “Think of this as a passport photo.

“My passport photo is amazing, actually.”

“Ugh, shut up.” Kate sent the photo she deemed most appropriate to her housemates’ text thread.

>> Leaving the party with this bloke, Anthony Bridgerton. DO wait up.

Kate looked up from her phone to see Anthony looking at her, seemingly impressed.

“What?”

“I need to remember to tell my sisters to pick up the same habit.”

Kate nodded vigorously. “Please do. So, a brother and at least two sisters. How many siblings do you have?”

“Seven.”

“Fuck off.” Kate covered her mouth as Anthony barked out a laugh.“I mean, no disrespect to your parents, but…damn.”

—

Anthony was thankful that the pub wasn’t too busy. He led Kate to a booth and had to suppress a grin when Kate pulled him down to sit on her side. They didn’t move from their seats until it was closing time.

“Let me take you home,” he said after he closed out their tab and they started walking towards the door.

Kate hesitantly took his hand, squeezing when he did.

“OK.”

—

It seemed unbelievable that they had more to talk about on the drive to her house, but they did. Along the way, Anthony inched his hand onto Kate’s thigh, smiling smugly to himself when she squirmed a little and rested her hand on top of his. Again, the time passed too quickly, and before he knew it, she was pointing out her house and he was pulling up to the curb.

“Can I have your number?” Kate asked as the car came to a stop, surprising him.

He laughed as he ran a finger under his bottom lip. “Damn, Kit. You beat me to it.”

“Is that a yes, then?” He’d say yes to anything if she smiled at him like that. He was sure of it.

“Yes, please.”

When Kate passed Anthony her phone, he chuckled when he saw she filled in his name as “Anthony with a ‘ta.’” Once they’d shared numbers, they sat in silence, looking at each other like idiots. Finally, Kate sighed.

“I’m gonna go.” There was no conviction in her voice. In fact, it almost sounded like a question.

“OK.”

“Thanks for dinner.”

“Thanks for letting me take you.”

More silence. The mood in the car was odd, but not uncomfortably so. Anthony just didn’t want the night to end yet, so she was going to have to make the first move.

And she did, but it was not the move he was expecting.

She leaned across the centre console, threw her arms around him, and kissed him.

It was hard to keep up with everything as it happened. Anthony slid his seat backward, too slow for Kate who was already clambering into his lap. He could feel her undoing the buttons of his shirt while he was preoccupied with pulling out the elastic that was holding most of her hair back. Anthony threaded his fingers through her tresses until he reached the nape of her neck. He gripped it tightly as his tongue slid across her lips and into her mouth. Kate whined, grinding down on him as she sucked on his tongue. He slid his other hand along the outside of her thigh, her skirt having almost completely ridden up to her waist, then he pulled back to gasp in some air.

“Can I come inside?” he asked before bringing their lips back together.

She sighed back at him. “No.”

He kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder.

“Can I take you to mine instead? I don’t have housemates.”

“Good to know, but not tonight.”

The sound he made was somewhere between a chuckle and a groan as he matched her grinding with his own.

“Tell me what I can do, then, Kit. Please,” he whispered into her hair.

She pulled back. They were both panting as she seemed to think about it. “You can call me Kit.” Her eyes sparkled playfully as she bit into her swollen lip.

“Good.” Both of his hands found her arse, and he kneaded it through the soft cotton material that covered it. “Anything else?”

“Text me,” she almost moaned.

He smiled as their foreheads rested against each other. “OK, I can do that.”

Kate brought both hands to Anthony’s face and brushed a finger across his lips, concentrating, perhaps debating something. “I really am going to go.” She looked up from his lips to his eyes.

“OK.” Anthony pulled her in for a kiss goodbye. She put a hand against his chest, as if it was a necessary measure to stop herself from falling back into him. After one last kiss to her temple, he let his arms fall to his sides. “Goodnight, Kit.”

Kate climbed out of his lap with as much grace as someone of her stature could manage in such a cramped space. She took a few moments to sort her clothes out before turning towards him.

“Goodnight, Anthony.”

With that, she was out of his chair and in a few steps, she was at her front door, keys in hand.

Anthony watched from his car. Turn around. Turn around.

Kate opened the door and disappeared. She hadn't turned around. He smiled to himself.

Next time.

—

“This isn't a text.”

Anthony clinched his jaw as he held the phone against his ear. Kate’s voice was heavy and warm. He imagined her still in bed despite the late hour, like he was, and found himself very interested in what her bedroom might look like. Jesus Christ. A couple of words from her, and my cock is already twitching.

“Want me to hang up?” he asked.

“You wouldn't,” she haughtily challenged.

“I'd certainly hate to. Good morning, Kit.” Kit. He had no idea where that name came from last night, when he’d put his lips on Kate’s for the first time, but it felt good to say it. He’d chanted it over and over again when he got home last night and promptly finished what they’d started in his car.

“Good morning, Anthony with a ‘ta.’”

He could hear her smiling. This woman would be the death of him. Of that, he was certain.

“How did you sleep?” Don’t leave out any details.

“Not great.”

Anthony frowned. “No?”

“It's not a big deal. I'm used to it.”

There was something there, he could tell. “I'm sorry.”

“Thanks. Are you desperately trying to resist making a joke about helping me sleep?”

“It’s a bit early in the day for me to be desperate.” Tell that to your dick. “And Kit?”

“Yeah?”

“It wouldn't be a joke.” He was rewarded with a soft gasp. Anthony had gotten the impression that Kate was not often left speechless. “Let's go out tonight. Are you free?”

“You're serious?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“We just met yesterday.”

“Yes, I was there. And?”

“You really want to see me again so soon?”

What? He sighed, running his hand over his face in contemplation. “My gut tells me you aren't fishing for compliments–”

“I'm not!”

“Well, frankly,” he laughed, “that would be more believable than you actually being surprised that I want to go out with you. Last night was amazing. For me, anyway.”

“Me, too.”

Oh, thank fuck.

“Then I'll ask again. Can I see you tonight?”

“You can see me tonight.”

A knot in his stomach loosened. He'd never been this keen to go out with someone before. His brothers would have a field day with this.

—

Kate and Anthony settled on a walk through the botanical gardens then a film at the Ultimate Picture Palace. The theatre was relatively empty, and halfway through a movie they had both already seen, Anthony, who had been lightly running his fingers up and down Kate's neck, whispered into her ear.

“Would it be terribly cliché of me to kiss the fuck out of you right now?”

“Yes,” Kate hissed, trying not to laugh, a laugh that died as soon Anthony lightly grasped her chin and angled it towards him.

“Can I do it anyway?”

Kate swallowed and nodded.

“Stay quiet, OK, Kit?”

Somehow, she did. They both did.

—

“Where to next?” Kate asked as they settled back into Anthony’s car.

“Oh, um…” Anthony was surprised, as it had felt like the night was winding down. “Am I taking you home?”

“You could…” Kate shrugged, “but if I remember correctly, which may not be the case as you were pulling down the neckline of my shirt with your teeth at the time, you said live alone.”

“I do,” Anthony confirmed, his voice strained.

“Granted, it’s been about twenty-four hours, but are you still interested in taking me to yours?”

“Very.” He’d answered so quickly, he surprised himself.

“Good.”

—

“I knew your place would be posh,” Kate teased as she took off her shoes and Anthony closed the door behind them.

He turned her around and pulled her so they were chest to chest. “Would you like a tour?”

She felt his hands sliding down her back and over her hips. “Yeah, I’d love one,” she said, unable to stop her giggle.

Anthony kissed his way along her jaw up to her ear before gruffly saying, “Then I’ll give you one tomorrow.”

Then his lips and teeth and tongue were mingling with hers as he pushed her backwards, walking her further into his flat. It didn’t take long before Kate was pressed up against a door. Her hands drifted down to Anthony’s belt, but before she could undo it, he grasped her wrists.

“Not yet, Kit,” he said in a rough whisper before bringing her wrists to his lips and kissing each one. He flashed her a roguish smirk as he sank to his knees before her. His expression changed to something tender and reverent. “Can I?” he asked, running a hand slowly up the inside of her leg.

Kate released a shuddering breath and nodded. “Yes.”

Anthony’s motions were fluid as he pushed her dress up, pulled her knickers down, and lifted a leg of hers onto his shoulder.

Soon, Kate was scrambling to hold on to the wall, the doorjamb, something, anything for support. With the hand that wasn’t teasing her clit, Anthony found and held on to one of Kate’s, intertwining their fingers and eventually guiding her hand into his hair. Kate obediently curled her fingers and held on. The moan that came from Anthony vibrated through her, to great effect.

“Use both hands if you need to,” he said before closing his mouth over her again.

She nodded vigorously as she combed her other hand into his hair, pulling when a manoeuvre of his surprised her in the best way possible, and she choked out a sob. When her climax hit her, she leaned over, and Anthony slayed a hand across her chest to hold her up as he rode her orgasm out with her, keeping up his attentions until Kate had to push him away, suddenly too sensitive to handle it. Kate wasn't a virgin, and a couple of guys had gone down on her in the past. But it had never been anything like that. Perhaps this was a perk of Anthony being three years older than her. Maybe it was a more significant age gap than she initially thought.

Anthony stood back up slowly, kissing her torso over her clothes until he was completely upright. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

“Can you walk?”

Even though his tone was sweet, Kate wanted to roll her eyes. But frankly, no, she couldn’t walk. “Mm-mm.” She shook her head lazily. “I live against this door now.”

Anthony chuckled–the smug bastard– as he took a step back and placed his hands firmly on her hips.

“Jump.”

“What?”

“I’ll carry you. Jump.”

Feeling just a little bit silly, Kate jumped, and gasped when Anthony slid his hands under her bum and pulled her up so her legs wrapped around his waist on instinct. Her arms went around his neck.

“Good girl.”

Anthony opened the door he had taken her up against, revealing his bedroom. Not that Kate was taking in much of her surroundings. She was still blissed out when he laid her down on his bed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, sat beside her on the mattress, tracing his fingers across her collarbones.

“Yeah. Why are you still dressed?”

He laughed and stood up. He held her gaze as he undressed.

He’s beautiful.

Once he was naked, he crawled onto the bed and encouraged Kate to sit up so he could pull her dress over her head, leaving just her bra, which she quickly got rid of with an air of confidence that she didn’t quite feel.

At first, they just looked at each other, letting their eyes wander. Then Anthony leaned towards the nightstand beside Kate and grabbed a condom out of the drawer. He tossed it onto the bed before taking Kate’s face in his hands and kissing her soundly.

“Come here,” he whispered.

Anthony pulled Kate up to her knees and guided her until she was straddling him. He kissed her again before reaching for the condom. Kate lightly grabbed his wrist.

“Can I put it on?”

Anthony smiled at her as he tore the packet open and handed it to her. Kate reached below herself and started stroking him. They were panting in time with her hand and Anthony vigorously shook his head. “Fuck, you’ve got to stop, baby. I’m ready.”

Kate rolled the condom on and sunk down onto him. As soon as she was fully seated, Anthony started moving. She cradled his head in her arms, muttering in Tamil as occasional expletives fell from Anthony’s mouth. Suddenly, he pushed her onto her back. He slammed into her faster and harder as he pinned her arms above her head.

“Is this OK?” he gritted out between his teeth.

Kate nodded.

“Kit?”

“Yes, fuck!”

Holding her wrists in one hand, Anthony used the other between her legs, moving it relentlessly until she was crying out again, turning into putty beneath him. About a minute later, he followed suit, groaning, cursing, repeating her name–well, his name for her.

“Kit, Kit, Kit.”

—

Anthony was startled awake by the sound of clattering coming from his kitchen. A second clang was accompanied by a harsh, “Aiyoh!”

After donning some underwear and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, Anthony set off to find Kate. She was at his stove, wearing her bra and some gym shorts of his, cinched to within an inch of their life just above her hips. It was perhaps the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. Whatever mess she had made of the pots and pans had been cleaned up, the kettle was on, and Kate was leaning over a frying pan.

“I feel like I should be making you breakfast the first time you stay at my flat.”

The first time. He probably shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t want to scare her off. But if his phrasing bothered her, Kate was good at hiding it. She looked up and smiled at him.

“Well, consider yourself in my debt, then.”

“Gladly.” Anthony wrapped an arm around her waist and murmured into her ear. “How soon can I make it up to you?” Her hair was gathered at the top of her head, and he nuzzled her neck as his hands wandered until she took a step away from him.

“Don’t distract me, Bridgerton. The tea is already going to be shitty. I can't even approximate proper chai since all you have is peppercorns and stale cinnamon sticks.”

“Hey, how many twenty year olds do you know who have any whole spices at all?”

“Loads. I’m Indian.”

“Point taken. What are you making?”

“Hotcakes. I make amazing hotcakes. At least, I do when–”she smacked his hand away from her arse “–I don’t have a sex pest at my back.”

“Sorry,” Anthony laughed.

“No, you aren’t.”

“You’re right.”

“I usually am. You’ll learn.”

Anthony bit back a grin at the implication that he’d see her again. He grabbed one of the hotcakes off the plate and took a bite. Kate’s giant eyes got even bigger when she noticed.

“Wait, you need jam!”

Anthony took another bite to spite her. “No, I don’t. These are delicious, Kit.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Thanks. I actually prefer them to meetha pooda.” She paused and shook her head with a click of her tongue. “Itu aciṅkam,” she grumbled. “My mother would be so disappointed to hear that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He kissed her temple.

“No need. She died seven years ago.” She immediately winced, as if she hadn’t meant to say that. Over the past two nights, Kate hadn’t given any details about her parents whenever they talked about their families.

“Oh, shit. Kit, I'm so sorry.” Anthony pulled her to him, and he felt her relax a bit in his arms. It didn’t last long, though. She quickly stepped away from him.

“Thanks,” she muttered as she turned her attention back to the stove, and rubbed her cheek in a huff.

Anthony couldn’t think of anything to say, and Kate didn’t seem to need him to say anything anyway, so he just leaned against the counter as she finished making breakfast, every offer to help being turned down.

Her mood had lightened by the time they sat down to eat. While Anthony was doing the washing up, Kate went back into his bedroom. She came out shortly after, dressed and ready to go.

Anthony usurped her before she could put her shoes on and pulled her towards the couch.

“I can’t stay,” she whined, but she straddled his lap all the same.

“Why not?” Anthony rubbed her back as her arms went around his neck.

“Because if I don’t want my first year to be my only year, I need to study.”

“I’ll help you study,” he lied. Unsurprisingly, Kate wasn’t buying it.

“Conflict of interest. I think you're heavily invested in me not being productive.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he smirked as he kissed her.

Kate sighed, leaning into him. “Anthony.”

“Fine.” He leaned back against the cushions, but kept a grip on her hips. “At least let me drive you back to your house.”

Kate shook her head. “I looked it up. It’s a long walk, but it's a nice morning for it.”

Anthony arched an eyebrow at her. “You know you’re too sore for a long walk.”

“Arrogant twat.”

“Please, Kit.” He squeezed her waist.

She tried to glare at him before breaking into a grin.

“OK.”

—

This time, when Anthony watched from his car as she walked to her front door, Kate turned around.

Damn. I'm in trouble.

He could not wait.

—

[NOTE: Please read Weary Memory if you’d like an actual story with this version of Kate and Anthony.]

11 notes · View notes

houndfaker · 2 months

Text

weird swap au infodump incoming !!!

i was slightly anxious while thinking on other characters in the swap au but given i already made the decision to be a litte Weird with it i guess it’s not too much of an issue. everythings not really a 1:1 swap

not every single character has a swap because i want to center in on the primary cast. maybe that’ll change later and we’ll get ideas for less relevant characters and how we could change them around but for now try not to expect things like idk “ikutsuki and elizabeth swap” or some scary shit like that

i am admittedly struggling with what to do w the twins (the protags are twins in this au like with every other thing i make) outside of them still having the connecting line of losing their parents to an accident on moonlight bridge. they just didn’t get death sealed in them this time. but uh hey you don’t need that to happen to you for the events to result in Deep Issues. i think there IS something interesting there in that they wind up coming back to iwatodai all those years later, and they get roped into sees because of course they do. i think it’d be interesting to explore them through the lens of being normal party members at least. the only thing is that you don’t really get a solid ‘swap’ situation with them since mitsuru maintains some of their canon qualities while still not exactly moving from her typical role as heir to the kirijo group. more on that as me and the bestie talk details over

we actually are planning some pretty fun stuff with ryoji?? the wonderful thing is that ryoji is by all intents and purposes just a normal fucking guy in this au given all the appriser stuff goes to yukari. but as a general rundown here’s what he has going on

childhood friend to the twins, loves them dearly. was very sad when they moved after the accident, and overjoyed after they transferred back.

has a younger brother named pharos:)

the mochizuki family was close with the takebas, particularly eiichiro was close with them. you can imagine where im going with this. his death was a tragedy to them, but more than anything it spurs something on in ryoji as he grows older. the alignment of the accident resulting in eiichiro's death and the death of the twins' parents occurring in such a close span of time bothers ryoji. for something that had such a massive negative impact on the lives of two people that are insanely important to him to potentially have more behind it than meets the eye, it becomes a vague obsession. which of course, eventually leads him to sees.

his role replacing yukari in this au gives him a fraught relationship w mitsuru. his distrust is very…intimidating, because it’s not nearly as outright as canon yukari’s. when he’s pointing out inconsistencies in what info mitsuru lets them have, he’s calm, sporting a smile, but emitting coldness. mitsuru herself of course isn’t Unaware of the effect the kirijo group’s work has had on him, but i think being incapable of getting a proper read on ryoji a lot of the time definitely does her no favors.

next lets talk about aigis! i had a little too much fun adapting her.

taking after canon kikuno's role, aigis was a human child sold to the kirijo group. she has a naturally-awoken persona (something something ergo research offers a higher payout to her parents because of this)

after the failure of the persona experiments resulting in strega, aigis is adopted by a handful of scientists from ergo research (this is essentially a timeline where the events of aigis the first mission dont happen, at least not the same way. i figured itd be fun to give the characters introduced in that game an active role in this au). she lives in yakushima with them.

her upbringing has left her socially awkward and distant, and trust is hard for her to fully feel. the intention on behalf of her guardians was to make sure she wouldnt have to give herself to the group as a weapon if she didnt want to, while having a family that cares for her and is able to meet her needs as someone with a very unique situation. she accompanies them if they need to do something during the dark hour because shes capable of protecting them with her persona.

aigis is still recruited to sees during the yakushima trip. a la the movie, she protects mitsuru and ryoji from a hoard of shadows after they leave the kirijo estate at night without their evokers. knowing of sees due to how long shes been in proximity to the group, she asks to be transferred into their unit so that she can help directly combat the dark hour so it wont be a danger to her family anymore. she would still very much view herself as a weapon raised by the kirijo group despite her adoptive family trying so hard to help her unlearn it. she experiences some pushback about it of course because its inadvertently feeding into something she is meant to be unlearning, but she wants strongly for it so its not like they can fully deny her.

thats everything we've got cemented so far...we still have to figure out the other members of sees that need swapping but for now you can have these doodles. a kiku + some concepts for human aigis and non-protag femc

#quinn moment #quinn drawings #<- ill figure it out one of these days.#open to suggestions as usual...#kym swap au

12 notes · View notes

joyswonderland1108 · 1 year

Text

This fucking fandom

Ah fuck i can’t even fucking get sick in peace!! Just when i allow myself to rest a bit from posting shit happens and i find myself coming back here to rant or whatever i should call it at this point.

So the other day i was writing a post as a follow-up to this post :

But i just deleted it, i was like uh yeah maybe i’m being a bit too harsh.. WRONG!! I knew this fucking fandom didn’t deserve no pity, my bad i should’ve just posted it.

So in my follow-up deleted post i was saying how i didn’t want anyone to come to me with that bullshit excuse of “But we’re streaming, we’re basically working hard for those achievements to happen so why won’t Letter be about Army since we work hard for him” and honestly this is where the entitlement comes from. Some people believe that just because they stream, buy and post that means they have all the rights of ownership over the members, yes OWNERSHIP.

I then carried on by explaining how not everyone who fought to get Jimin on top wasn’t necessarily because they love him but for some they just wanted one member of BTS to be on top out of pettiness towards other fandoms and they needed to flex, didn’t matter which member as long as it’s a BTS member who will keep BTS’s name superior, and it so happened to be Jimin this time.

Now you may wonder why tf am i bringing up a post i actually ending up deleting or actually didn’t even post? Well with Yoongi’s upcoming release.. I don’t even need to say it now do i? I guess you’re pretty much getting what i’m trying to say but let me just put words out here.

I’m not here to talk about how close Yoongi’s release is to Jimin’s, this is something they probably went over with each other and with the company it has nothing to do with me or us or anyone else can’t really say much about it but what i can talk about is Army’s hypocrisy. When i posted about Yoongi’s D-Day announcement i clearly mentioned that I personally along with some other Army i know would either try to find or make a Yoonmin focused playlist, since Jimin promo period was cut short, we still wanted to keep pushing it while still streaming for Yoongi.

Now what is happening is mfrs who are dropping Jimin completely to focus solely on Yoongi. When Smf pt2 dropped and the whole FACE album released, playlists were still encouraging streams for Smoke Sprite and On the street, we were still trying to keep the boys at higher ranks doing the effort to do a proper streaming for Jimin all while not dropping any other member.

Now those people do realize that Yoongi will have his album trending from now till June, while Jimin won’t necessarily be able to still keep up with a proper promotion schedule because that would be interfering with Yoongi’s release, and fucktards couldn’t even bother keeping up with streaming or at least think about a Yoonmin playlist too. It infuriates me how for me despite being Jikook biased i’m still willing to do as much effort for Yoongi as i did with Jimin because i’m OT7 after all but assholes out there pretending to be OT7 yet became completely blinded.

And for some fucking reason Jimin or Jikook biased Army (not solos) are all so excited for D-Day and preparing to stream for both, so tell me why tf can’t other Army do the same thing? Was messing with that one other fandom all it was for them? “Let’s get Jimin that #1 to piss them off” is that it? He worked his ass off to share something very personal with us, shared his struggles, a deep and dark part of himself just for Army to treat it as a threat to other idols and fandoms?

I swear this motherfucking fandom is toxic and unhealthy, as Joon said “You changed” Aka you fucking suck! I don’t even know how to put anymore words i’m just trying to recover but God fucking dammit!

#I hate this fucking fandom #park jimin you are so precious #Min Yoongi you're a delight #fucking hypocrite of a fandom #Stream for face and d-day !!!!!

55 notes · View notes

o0o0thorn0o0o · 4 months

Text

Mineko Old Art Dump, Cont.

Part 2 of 2 :

Now, time for info!

So, for starters: her name. As mentioned multiple times by now, her name is Asano Mineko, as in 峯子. Whereas Karma gets his kanji from their mother (my OC Kuniko) and Gakushuu gets his partially from their father, Mineko gets the remaining two from both. I was trying to see if there was a similar “updated” thing with Gakuhou’s second kanji (like how 学 is derived from 學), but that doesn’t seem to be the case from what I could find. So even though I don’t need to explain why they did that for Gakushuu and Mineko, I came up with one anyway: it’s a trade-off. Gakushuu keeps the reading over the exact kanji, and Mineko keeps the exact kanji over the reading (Mineko was always the plan, though; not fond of “Houko”, especially for her).

I also mentioned this before, but since I’m dumping quite a bit of info about her here, I’ll mention it once more: Mineko’s the middle child, with her birthday being January 1st, just like her younger brother. In these AUs, Karma could be born on the same day, or he could still be born on Christmas—both ways are possible, though I have a slighter preference for the former for some reason.

Before I get into her personality a little, lemme explain some of the drawings. Only some things. The rest will definitely be mentioned in a character sheet—or before: if I happen to draw it again before it gets done, I’ll probably talk about it at least a bit. Let’s go in order now, shall we?

So, um, height? Mineko’s tall, but idk, I feel like I made her too tall in that Until Dawn AU sketch (she’s not in the AU officially, but I do think about her in it from time to time. And jeez, I need to post about that AU some more…). Either that, or I made Rio too short. Like, idk, year 3 Mineko is 5’6” (167 cm), and she’ll be 5’8” (172 cm) at her tallest.

Second: er, you know that sketch that looks like she’s holding a large ice cream cone in a weird way? Uh, yeah, that’s supposed to be a telescope ^^;;; I just never got around to adding the tripod… or, like, referencing an actual telescope instead of from memory, oops. I might actually turn that into a proper post, but no plans as of the moment. But yeah, anyway: Mineko loves astronomy, and one of her favorite hobbies is star-gazing.

Another one of her favorites that I feel like mentioning now, too, is she loves listening to and composing music—mainly instrumentals/orchestral music. She’s the kinda girl you’d invite to an opera, haha (though, not romantically; she’s aroace. The main reason why this is is because I did not want to end up making an OC to pair with her (this has happened multiple times before with others, so this is a way of me putting my foot down with her, haha). That, and it kinda references the fact that at some point in time I headcanoned Karma and Gakushuu as aroace. Though, I still do personally see them being somewhere on the spectrum. But yeah, she aroace).

Then that one sketch where the art style’s very different from the rest—I’m actually not too fond of it anymore, especially the face, but I thought to include because I like the rest of the sketch and especially because—you know that art style I dub my doodle style? The one where the nose connects to the upper lip, and if the mouth’s open, I add a bottom lip? The one I introduced Mineko in? Yeah, fun fact: this sketch was the start of that art style. It’s changed a lot since, but perhaps I wouldn’t have drawn in it were it not for Mineko, haha.

Last thing before I get to her personality and stuff: I’ll mention something about the traditional sketches. Idk if you can tell, but Mineko is a huge junk-foodie—a sucker for fast food. She still keeps track of healthy food, for the most part—but yeah, she’d never turn down fast food, haha. Also, regarding the water: she’s more likely to casually see food in a “romantic light” than she ever is people, haha.

Speaking of, I headcanon both Karma and Gakushuu as good cooks—they can whip up something decent, at least, haha. Mineko on the other hand has no such interest. She’s got her brothers, after all. She doesn’t see a reason to… until she grows up, and her brothers are living their lives, and she realizes she’s got no one to cook for her anymore… Welp, fast food and restaurants have never left her down before, haha.

Ok, now I’ll finally discuss her personality a bit… well, traits? I wanna talk about her intelligence first. She’s a very smart girl, being in 3-A, but she’s not as smart as her brothers and has to try harder to somewhat be on the same level grade-wise—definitely not touching the virtuosos, but 3-A all the same. She also participates in extracurriculars but not nearly as many as Gakushuu—she can only handle so much.

But while she knows she may not have as high an IQ as her brothers, she very much believes she has a higher EQ than them. And to her credit, she does, but probably not by nearly as much as she thinks. See, she’s emotionally repressed, too—don’t let that smile fool you, haha.

For one, she doesn’t like conflict and does her best to smooth things over when/if she can, play the middle man (she likes to think of herself as a bridge, connecting two conflicting sides (especially her brothers; she also likes to say that’s the reason why she’s shorter than them, as (certain types of) bridges tend to dip below the two points they’re connecting, haha. Just a silly thought she likes to muse)). She likes fixing conflicts but would never intentionally start any. Cautious of stepping on toes.

That’s always why she tries her best to plaster on a smile regardless of how she feels—everything’s fine, don’t you know? She’s completely happy with her circumstances; don’t ever worry otherwise! She should be more worried about you than you about her! But yeah, she’ll either only let it slip should a situation get too stressful that she can’t keep it up or if she believes she’s all by herself. All that said, she’s usually fine. Usually. It’s just… when she isn’t…

Also, this girlie’s got major trust issues and is a misanthrope (Gakuhou’s her dad; enough said). She does believe that, of course, not all of humanity is bad. It’s just… she doesn’t trust individuals, especially the more friendly seeming ones. She’s been raised in a family of masks, adorning one herself, so she has no clue whether someone is being genuinely kind or not. It’s just easier for her not to trust them rather than be let down. Everyone’s got hidden agendas, it seems.

And while she’s friendly and polite to everyone regardless of her suspicions—even when there’s blatant evidence she’s right. Because she wants to be kind and helpful regardless. And again, she kinda believes most are like that anyway. Proof is just more of a confirmation of something she believes already—and while most would find her company agreeable, she currently doesn’t have any friends outside her brothers. And nor does she care to. She doesn’t see what she’s missing. Why would you hang out with someone who’s potentially fake? While helpful, she tries to make herself scarce whenever she can.

But yeah, the only way she’ll ever make friends is through a whole lot of interaction; she needs to be able to build up that trust and feel safe. Being close to her brothers is a good start, but she’ll still be wary for a good while. Not something easy, essentially, and could take years. Hence, no friends as of the moment.

Er, yeah, I guess that’ll be all I’ll share for the moment. Ended up being a lot longer than I thought, but I don’t feel like cutting anything either. So yeah; here is she! I adore her, so I hope you like her, too, or find her interesting at least ^^

I feel like you know about her more than the other OCs I’ve already revealed when they’ve been out for a couple years now. Oops ^^;;

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #asano mineko #assassination classroom oc #ansatsu kyoushitsu oc #oc #original character #oc art #traditional art #traditional sketch #traditional doodle

8 notes · View notes

hankwritten · 5 months

Text

A Tavern Named Keep [6/6]

Demoman-centric Modern AU

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

In a small uni-town in New Mexico, DeGroot Keep serves liquor and succor to an eclectic yet loyal group of patrons, and has for many years. The Keep owes its success to its equally colorful owner, who always seems to know what you need—whether that be a stiff beer or a word of advice. But, between setting up his patrons or sifting through his friends’ problems, will Tavish remember to take care of himself?

Two mugs spring with amber liquid, the tap gushing with the satisfying rise in pitch as each one fills. Practiced hands kill it at just the right time, the foam heads perfectly proportioned, settling briefly before Tavish tops them off. He drops a curly straw in one, and slides them forward.

Dell’s beer is parted from the bartender’s hand for approximately half a second before the engineer grasps it firmly and takes a mighty gulp.

“Trouble in paradise?” Tavish asks as Pyro double takes at the man beside them.

The mug slams back down, and Dell wipes his mouth on his sleeve. “You could say that, yeah.”

“Well come on then,” Tavish says, cocking a hip and leaning sumptuously on the bar. “Tell ‘ole Tavvy your woes.”

“So long as you never call yourself that again, sure. Why else come to a bar but to unload relationship troubles?”

“Truer words never spoken. C’mon spill it, Conagher. First month is always when the heretofore unknown character flaws come bubbling up, and Fortier had a wagonload to begin with.”

“Hell.” Dell rubs the bridge of his nose. “For one, I think Scout’s still mad at me.”

A froth of consoling noises comes from Pyro’s mask, as well as a rubbery pat on the back.

“Alright, maybe she isn’t, but it sure feels like it. And I know I should be giving her time to get used to the idea of me and her dad uh…” He clears his throat. “Seeing each other. But that don’t make it any easier.”

“She’ll come around, Dell,” Tavish assures. “But ‘for one’ makes me think that isn’t all?”

Dell rubs a hand over his freshly shaved head. “I…it’s hard to explain this one. More than it’s just a feeling, not anything he’s said or done but…Seems like he doesn’t want to go anywhere with me. Most of the time when I suggest some place the two of us could spend a nice night at, he goes on grumbling about Teufort being a backwater whatever. But sometimes I wonder if it’s more than that. That he doesn’t want to be seen with me.”

Tavish’s opinion of Fortier is low enough that he thinks ‘yeah that tracks’, but quietly, and to himself. Instead he says the proper thing as both barman and friend of, “ach no, don’t go thinking that. Prissy as the man is, he did make the decision to be with you, and he’ll honor that.” He better. Otherwise he’ll have fifteen stone of Scotsman putting a boot up his arse the next time he walks through the Keep’s door. “I think you’re jumping to an uncharitable interpretation of events.”

“Maybe. I got a cousin’s wedding coming up, and I was hoping to bring him along, but if he’s going to get cold feet…”

Pyro gesticulates something.

“Wadda you mean? Like a chance to get him used to the idea?” Dell asks, to which they nod. “Trying things out at a small gathering might just work…Hey DeGroot, I assume we’re having a going away party for Doe sometime soon, right?”

And just like that the world shifts, the axis of the Earth tilts another 2.5 degrees, the conversation of the same old help-your-friends-fix-their-hearts slips from Tavish’s grasp as he struggles to comprehend what has just been said to him.

“A…a going away party?” he repeats stupidly. “Going bloody where?”

The two spines in front of him straighten, and don’t do much to hide as their topmost vertebra twitch just enough to exchange bewildered looks with one another. Cautiously, Dell says, “his new job up in Minnesota? Didn’t he tell you?”

The underlying accusation of wouldn’t you be the first one he’d tell? as clear as day.

“Is this…?” Permanent? For certain? All the things Tavish wants to know but they’re all butting heads to get out the door first. He whips his head around, to shout across his tavern to the man in the far corner, ‘oi Doe, all of this true?’ but the words catch in his throat. Instead, he hastily says, “‘scuse me lads,” and puts every ounce of concentration into moving his legs across the floor.

His heart does not have the aptitude to panic. Years of the drink have persuaded his blood pressure to never get too worked up over itself, and this morning’s draught still sloshes heavily in the stream. So if his body doesn’t respond to the signals his brain is sending, the ones stumbling along to conclusions he’d never even seen the edges before, then he can thank it for getting him from one side of the Keep to the other.

“You’re moving?” he says before he’s even greeted, before the others at the table even realize he’s there. Its bluntness is unfamiliar in his mouth.

He doesn't get a chance to see Jane's reaction. In that instant, two newcomers (the bell still tinkling) appear at the table, and Mikhail is shouldering into the conversation with, “DeGroot. Mikhail needs advice”

“Pah,” another voice comes elbowing past him. “Such as ‘what ingredients shall I put on my sandwich today?’ I am here with a true emergency.” Helen, having just fought her way over who could squeeze through the front door first (and having lost rather spectacularly) puts both hands on the table. “The board is forming an inquiry into the exact nature of my relationship with Miss Pauling. This is a matter most urgent.”

Mikhail growls in a way that indicates he’d very much like to simply knock her aside again, “is own fault did not think of this when starting relationship. Live with decision. Mikhail has real issue.” He pales considerably. “Doktor talks about moving in together.”

“And?” Helen hisses. “Either you do or you don’t, DeGroot does not have time for such petty frivolities when the entire reputation of The Facility is on the line!”

“Listen, would you two mind coming back some other…” Tavish says, but is promptly ignored.

“Is not this thing you just said,” Mikhail counters. “Is dangerous. Too soon. Doktor wants to pick up with commitment right where he left off. Cannot make him see this. Need advice, is DeGroot's fault in first place.”

“I think fault is-” Tavish tries.

“I have equal claim to his time, as this whole- “““dating””” -business was certainly not my idea!”

“Ach, one at a-”

Although not prone to fits of panic, this does not make Tavish immune to being utterly overwhelmed. Mikhail and Helen are looking to shed blood right in the middle of his nice clean floor, their blame is loud in his ears, and Jane is just feet away. Inches. Agonizingly close and—to Tavish’s drawing dread—wearing a look of guilt on his face.

Jane stands. To Tavish's relief, this is apparently to disrupt the conversation. He says, “you two keep at that. DeGroot’s superior officer needs a word with him.” His hand finds Tavish’s upper arm, and the barman does not resist when he is gently marched away from the indignant pair. Before Helen can muster a demand to return, they’re already in the cramped room below the stairwell.

They’re barely alone for more than a second before Tavish blurts, “you got a new job?”

And what can Jane say but, “…yeah.”

“Oh.”

They stand there, too close to each other where a single pull string light casts the tiny landing into contrast. He’s still breathing heavy, and he wants to ask why didn’t you tell me? but it’s increasingly obvious that this is why Jane didn’t tell him. Because he’s freaking out, because normal people don’t find out their best friend is moving out of town in a perfectly natural and adult change in careers and immediately feel like they’re going to die. He struggles, once, twice, three times to school his expression. He smiles. Friendly, congenial bartender here at your service.

“Where to?” he asks conversationally.

Jane won’t look at him. He struggles to look anyone in the eye on normal circumstances, but the proximity makes it all the more palpable. “Up at Chippewa. There’s an animal sanctuary there that had an opening.”

“Ah, that sounds nice. I know how much you like working with the rehabilitation cases.” It hurts, it hurts so much but he forces out, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Really?”

It isn’t a really of surprised hope. It’s an accusation, disappointment, and Tavish knows for certain that Jane did keep this from him because he knew Tavish would make this horrid, embarrassing, thing out of it.

“I…”

Tavish tries to swallow around the lump in his throat. Don’t cry. Don’t cry you sappy, useless drunk. You’re making it bad enough as it is. Who cares if it feels like all your organs are shutting down one by one? Doc always joked how your liver would go any day now, the rest of them might as well toddle on after it.

“That’s all?” Jane asks doubtfully. “You’re happy for me?”

Jesus why does he keep pushing this? It compels some of the truth out through Tavish’s teeth. “Well…no. I’m not happy. But what am I supposed to do, try to talk you out of it? Throw a fit every time something doesn’t go my way?”

Jane snarls something. His profile is stony, and Tavish is afraid of it, knowing he’s seeing it for now a finite amount of times and afraid he’s doing it wrong. That he’s not appreciating his best friend right, not appreciating him enough. Tick tick tick the seconds go by, and Tavish is wasting it as his mask slips further.

“No,” Jane finally admits. “No, but sometimes I wish you weren’t so damn selfless.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean? Look lad if you’ve found a better job, and you’ve made your decision, I won’t try to guilt you out of it-”

“That’s what I mean!” Jane yells, and the silence that follows is so deafening that the outburst must have reached even the front of the house. “That! Perfect, noble, so goddamn observant about every little problem that wasn’t yours, yet you couldn’t figure me.”

“What?” Tavish asks. “What was I supposed to be seeing?”

“You‘ve diagnosed every lovesick private who’s ever walked into this tavern, but you still couldn’t see how much I was in love with you.”

Somehow, that silence is more powerful, more terrifying than anything that came before it. It reaches deep under Tavish’s skin, pinning him with tenterhooks until he can’t move, can’t think, can’t cycle the air that’s caught in his lungs.

“Twenty goddamn years.” This, it seems, is mostly to himself as Jane stares at the single mop leaned in the corner. He shakes his head. “Everyone else, clear as day. Me? Not a damn clue.”

“Jane I. I don’t think I…”

Jane holds up a hand. “You don’t need to say it maggot. I’ve thought through this conversation as many times as I’ve knocked myself unconscious with a shovel. I know you can’t love me like I love you.” Something wry—nowhere near a laugh but dry enough air squeezed through lungs as pained as Tavish’s—indicates something might have been amusing, once, a long time ago. “To be honest, I didn’t think I was capable of it either. Not when we met. But here we are, I’m the one who’s fucked, and it’s been too damn long Tavish I can’t live like this anymore. So I looked up that sanctuary in Minnesota and applied for the position.”

The admission hangs.

“But,” Tavish says, “even if I- if we- at least you could stay for the Keep, aye? We’re like a family here.”

Jane shakes his head. “They’re not my friends. They’re yours. I’m just the owner’s lunatic buddy they tolerate because they like him so goddamn much.”

“That’s not…” It’s not true. And if it’s true, then it’s because disrespecting Jane is as good as disrespecting Tavish, because Jane’s part of his life. Is his life. “Jane you’re…”

“…I didn’t know if I was going to tell you before I left,” Jane says. “It was probably the honest and American thing to do, to tell you, but there is cowardice in all of us. I’m sorry. For everything. I need to go pack.”

Tavish doesn’t stop him when he steps past and through the plain black door and into the kitchen. What can he say? Already committed as he is to not talking him out of it, still reeling from…from being blind. For not knowing. He finds himself in the kitchen, and it’s by accident when overhears the commotion from the tavern proper.

“-That you are all ungrateful MAGGOTS,” Jane is saying. Tavish has heard him rant before, heard him deride each and every person now clustered awkwardly around him on an individual basis, but he’s never heard something like this. “That man in there has done everything for you! He has listened to your woes, he’s wiped up your big sobby tears when no one else would, he’s guided you to love and support and what have you done for him in return? NOTHING! You take and you take and at the end of the day all you want is more of what he already gives you. You are nothing but a clat of writhing, steaming, WORMS, and when I am gone you WILL treat him better.”

Jane’s voice cuts off sharply. Tavish can only see him from the back, the slope of his shoulders, the way his uniform cuts a silhouette in the fading light from the stained glass.

“You better,” he says softly.

And then Jane is gone, seashells clattering, and Tavish still hasn’t said goodbye.

The assembled patrons are all in various stages of shamefacedness, some stepping from one foot to the other, some staring anywhere else but at the bartender who's just appeared at the kitchen door with an expression that tells that his whole world has just ended.

“Tavern’s closed for the day,” he informs them emotionlessly.

It’s a rash thing to do, but he doesn’t care. How could he care about anything anymore? The supposed family doesn’t wait around to be told twice.

That night, he drinks himself to unconsciousness in record time.

When he wakes, he thinks ruefully that this is the exact opposite of what Jane’s been telling him all this time, about how he needs to take better care of himself. And really needs to now that Jane will be gone. No one looking after him but himself anymore. That’s the only thought that stays his hand as he reaches for the spare whiskey in the bedside table, makes him draw it back and use it to wipe the dried drool from his mouth. Jane won’t be there on his favorite stool anymore, flashing Tavish a smile on busy nights. He won’t break into the kitchen out of misplaced paranoia, he won’t convince Tavish that a drive out of town won’t kill him as long as there’s a new rib place on the other end. There will be a hole in Tavish’s life where Jane once was, and that is all that awaits him in the foreseeable future. Fuck. Why couldn’t he have seen it? Not that Tavish knows what it’s like to fall in love with someone who doesn't-

Well let’s face it. Tavish doesn’t know what it’s like to fall for someone, period. But he can imagine how painful that would be, and if it’s already gone on too long, already become too much, there’s no way he can ask Jane to put up with more of it. Christ, how many times has he botched a relationship because he’s fallen short? Granted, it’s always been with lassies, and lassies he was already dating, but it’s still the same mistake in different packaging. What I need is not in your power to give is what Jane had told him once, and he had been right, though not in the way he’d thought.

Tavish gets up, but doesn’t find it in him to shower. He wraps himself in a blanket and stares at the opposite wall, eye unfocused as he processes the fact that while Jane had the misfortune of falling for him, in the end it’s Tavish’s fault that he’s losing the most important person in his life.

The self-pity wears more heavily on him than the alcohol ever could. It’s only his errant bladder that finally forces him to move, and when he returns he sees the unread message flaring on his phone screen. Pyro’s contact information is a single flame emoji.

i know you kicked us out of the tavern but it’s really important that we see you today. can we come over?

Tavish doesn’t know who we is, assumes it's them and Scout, and naively replies sure. We turns out to be every person he’s ever met.

It seems that way at least. It’s mostly the regulars, more than there were last night, and Tavish sniffs out an ‘intervention’ faster than it takes for you to say scrumpy. But they’ve already seen him take one step into the tavern, and he can’t back out now. What is he going to do? Run out of his own place of business and hide in his room?

They’ve arranged themselves around one chair in particular, doing a right poor job of making any of this look natural, though Dell smiles sympathetically at him as he sits down. Crue smells like smoke and Tavish can practically hear the argument of ‘you better put that out before we go in there’ that must have occurred right outside the tavern door. To Tavish’s left are Pyro and a squirming Scout, more chairs behind them to support others who weren’t even there to bear witness to the events last night (since, Tavish is beginning to suspect, that’s what this is all about.)

“I’ll warn you lads,” he says to a neutral spot in between Mikhail and Ludwig’s heads. “I’m no stranger to interventions, and I’m a tough nut to crack.”

(The joke doesn’t go over particularly well.)

Even to himself his voice sounds oddly flat. Ragged. He watches the exchange of worried looks, and a whisper into Helen’s ear.

“This isn’t meant to be a fight, partner,” Dell says. “It’s a gathering of concerned friends, who are going to help if they can.”

“Doe was right when he told us off,” Mikhail says. “DeGroot does good things for all of us, and we do not help him when he needs us. Now we help.”

“Ach don’t let him get to you,” Tavish bats away. “I’m fine. I do what I do for the love of it, you don’t need to worry about me.”

Pyro makes a distressed noise that belies otherwise.

“No offense lads, but you really don’t know the half of it.” Tavish truly isn’t in the mood to relay the argument to a new audience, no matter how sympathetic.

“We can guess.” This comes from Mikhail. “Doe moves. Heart breaks.”

Aw Jesus. He thought he could do this, sit and bear as his closest friends try to ‘help’ through all this, but having it said so plainly cracks the modicum of resolve Tavish has managed to collect. “It’s not…” he tries, but to his horror the pressure he’s been holding back since the news rears its ugly head. It’s bulbous and angry behind his eye, the reality that Jane’s not moving on a whim, that this has been coming down the track for ages, that it’s irreversible. He can’t make him come home. “Bloody hell.”

The whimper peters out into a true wail of distress, because Tavish is nothing if not some weepy idiot, just as Jane always said he was. The weight of everyone staring isn’t enough to keep him from sobbing, and he throws himself into the nearest waiting shoulder to blubber his woes. The shoulder turns out to belong to Helen.

She stiffens like a possum playing dead. Tavish can’t stop crying though, and he feels an utterly flat palm come up to pat him uncomfortably on the shoulder. “Ah. Hm. There there.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake. Here.”

The mellower voice of Dell commands Helen aside, and he peels Tavish off her and into his own waiting arms. Tavish transfers to the hug gratefully. He hears chairs scoot closer as he makes a mess of Dell’s shirt, the uncomfortableness audible. Well they can all suck it. If they didn’t want to see a grown man cry they shouldn’t have staged a bloody intervention.

“Hey pally, oh whoa okay yeah I know it sucks,” Scout says from somewhere behind him. “But it ain’t too late. You can still tell him.”

“Tell him?” Tavish lifts his head miserably. He assumed that sentence was going to end with ‘convince him’.

Crue groans, “yes you-” He’s elbowed sharply by Scout. “…You poor soul,” he finishes with a healthy veneer of sarcasm.

“We have talked a bit amongst ourselves,” Ludwig picks up this truly baffling train of thought. “Yes Ranger Doe has found superior employment, but he does not seem terribly excited about it. I find it unlikely that he knows your true feelings for him, and if you were to confess, he might see fit to stay. Then things can stay right as they are, all without DeGroot Keep falling into disarray!”

“Okay, ignore that last part Doc said that made us all sound like selfish assholes who only care about the bar,” Scout glares at Ludwig. “But yeah, intervention stuff. It’s obviously killing you, keeping it all balled up inside, so go shoot your shot while you still got it.”

“Hold on now,” Tavish says, righting himself and looking at his friends incredulously. “You all came here, put aside your differences and all that, because you think I’m in love with Jane?”

A collage of faces—some bespectacled some not, some incredulous others exasperated—all glance around the tables shoved together at the center of the room.

“Well…yeah?” Scout says.

Tavish is struck silent, looking between his friends. And suddenly he feels very, very foolish. “I don’t…”

“You don’t need to give us an explanation, mate.” The new voice is shocking, mainly because Tavish didn’t even realize Mick was here, pressed as he is against the corner. Even more so for the fact that he doesn’t even like Jane. “We’re just offering advice. And support. We hope you’ll at least try to sort things out.”

Every single person he knows thinks he’s in love with Jane. He wants to ask why? What makes you think that? but part of him realizes that he already has the answer.

He stands, his chair scooting a tuneless note on the hardwood floor. “I need to go. Now. I- thank you.”

There is a chorus of no worries, and good lucks, various hands patting him on the back as he struggles through chair legs to get to the door. He’d spent years wasting time, he wouldn’t squander any more.

His car starts on the second try, a beaten old thing because even if he isn’t as careless about taking his poison behind the wheel anymore, he’s still afraid he’ll forget one of these days and doesn’t want to wreck something shiny and new. It gets him where he needs to go, and where he needs to go with every fibre of his being is the preserve on the edges of town. His car growls, and screeches up to the mountain as Tavish takes every turn at 15 over.

He does not park in the visitor area. He doesn’t even stop at the end of the drive, even though the signage clearly indicates the two tracks of beaten dirt with the line of grass between are for park vehicles only. Only when he’s in the semicircle of trailers does the car finally come to a halt, dragging lines in the gravel and expelling him, panting, from the driver’s seat.

Jane is not packing. He has no box in hand, no bit of furniture over his shoulder. When Tavish’s car had come barreling in he’d been stood in the clearing west of the homes, up a wide grassy path, just watching the sun set.

Tavish runs. The urgency has meaning, even if it’s to him and him alone.

He stumbles to Jane, straightening the words, knowing he will make this count, and says, “you want me to start asking for things? Fine. I’m asking you to stay.”

Jane looks at him. The orange light behind him casts him heavenly, his expression of surprise the gold against his cheeks, the red along his shoulders. The same grass that clawed around his home whips at his ankles, the breeze shaking it and random leaves about. The expression doesn't change, still stoic and without hope as he looks at the wheezing bartender who's followed him on this pointless attempt.

The lack of reply does not deter Tavish. “Please Jane I…I can’t say I know what you’re going through, what I’ve made you go through all these years," he says. “I don’t know if I love you. But I do know that I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I’ve never asked myself what I need, and what I need is…is you Jane.”

He takes a few steps closer. The run up the western hill really has taken the wind out of him, or maybe its heart that refuses to stop its galloping pace. Either way, when he stands in front of Jane, he can’t seem to catch his breath.

Jane’s shoulders, still brushed with that blushing light, lift. “I don’t know what you’re asking me.”

“I’m asking…I’m asking to be yours.”

Tavish reaches out, forgetting boundaries, forgetting everything, and touches Jane’s cheek.

Jane’s so warm underneath the pads of his fingers, and it doesn’t feel wrong the way he thought it might. The way it’s been other times, when he’s forced himself to at least try to exercise the most perfunctory of romantic duties. There is no repulsion of unwanted closeness. It’s wholly right.

Until Jane brushes his fingers away. "I know you don't really want that. Goddammit Tavish, I know the way I love you isn't the way you...want me around. I can't stay. I can't keep fighting this one-sided war all by myself."

"It doesn't have to be one-sided," Tavish says. "Maybe we can't be like every other lovey dovey happy couple we’ve put together, but maybe we don't have to be.”

"I..." Jane glances back at the sunset, then to his trailer, the boxes lying abandoned outside.

"Isn't it worth trying? If neither of us really want you going, isn't it worth it to try something a bit unorthodox?"

"You're really mean this." Jane asks it flatly, more seriously than he's ever looked at Tavish before, which is saying something. "Being with...me."

“If I’m going to be selfish for just once in my bloody life,” Tavish says, “I sure as hell want it to be for keeping you.”

“Then...Okay,” Jane says.

“Okay?” Tavish says. He’d hoped—but also hadn’t dared to hope. Had only been concentrating on making sure his words came out in the right order, that he hadn't even considered what might happen if they actually worked. “Even though…”

Jane draws back just enough to put a hand over Tavish’s mouth. “Okay,” he repeats.

“Oh,” Tavish whispers through the fingers when they finally part.

They return to the Keep, and they are heroes coming home to the castle they’ve built.

Those he’d left behind are not waiting like solemn sentries, to Tavish’s immense relief, but they are milling about his tavern with a grimness that immediately disperses on seeing Tavish and Jane enter in together. There is an unspoken and collective sigh of relief, and then they resume whatever it was they were doing before but now with actual enthusiasm.

(What they were doing before was mostly being served Swedish Gloggs by a giddy and unleashed Pyro.)

“Why in Abraham Lincoln’s name is everyone staring at us?” Jane grumbles. It is, oddly, the most comforting return to normalcy Tavish experienced.

“I’ll tell you later,” he says. “Right now, I just want to grab a pint and find somewhere quiet to sit down for a bit. Professor Zakharov, Doctor Humboldt,” he nods respectfully to the pair of doctors as they pass, who in turn raise their mugs in salute.

“Fine by me,” Jane grunts. “Better than thinking about all the stuff I have to unpack.”

“Ah, that’s always the worst end of the packing process, isn’t it?”

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten whose fault it is that I now have to extract all my worldly possessions from a bunch of two-foot cardboard cubes after moving exactly zero miles!”

“You have my sincerest apologies.”

It feels good to say it so easily. The slight undercurrent of tension that’s run between them for years is completely absent, a tension Tavish knows he must have noticed but had ignored all the same. The way he can simply reach up and squeeze Jane’s shoulder like he did ten years ago is staggering.

There is an argument, toothless, jocular, from the table belonging to Mick, Scout, and Crue.

“Just saying you could totally spring for it,” Scout rambles on, thoroughly heedless to the pulsing vein in Crue’s forehead. “Considering you got loads on the side ‘n all…”

“What you are suggesting would cost the entire payout from one of my contracts,” Crue scorns.

“…What exactly do you do for work again?” Mick eyes him from across the table.

With the clearly enunciated syllables of a man daring you to challenge him on it, Crue says, “I am a dentist.”

Tavish chuckles, and leaves them to it. Approaching the bar nearly causes Pyro to vibrate out of their suit, head whipping back and forth with a series of mumbles that is unmistakably pleased. Before Tavish can get a word in, they disappear underneath, humming and clattering about in the various bottles.

“They were hoping you’d come back together,” Dell explains. “I mean, so was I, but they’ve been practicing mixing something special, just for the two of ya’ll.”

When they arise, they have a bottle of cognac in hand, which they promptly upend into a pair of glasses.

“…You’ve been sneaking peeks at my recipe book haven’t you, you little devil?” Tavish asks as the mix appears before him. The only reply he gets is a filter-strained giggle.

The last bit of bitters applied, Pyro ushers the drinks into each of their hands and shoos them off.

“This one of yours, then?” Jane asks, eyeing the drink as he follows Tavish deeper into the stronghold.

“Is not on fire is it? Just one of my little experiments. Though I’ll be honest, it��ll be odd to try the finished product when I didn’t mix it myself.”

The lower level beckons. Helen and Pauling are momentary obstacles, partially blocking the half-flight’s entrance. When she sees them, Pauling flashes the biggest double thumbs up ever seen between the 106th and 107th longitudes.

When they’re close, she prompts, “behind you ma’am,” to her partner, tugging on Helen’s arm to get her out of the way.

“What?” Helen interrupts herself, midway through a sentence about the inefficacy of assassins these days. “No, this is the only spot in this whole dreary bar that has lighting not reminiscent of a dungeon. We are perfectly-”

“Helen,” Miss Pauling says. And Tavish never thought he’d see the day. Miss Helen, terror of Teufort, is obediently led away by her 5’ 1” girlfriend.

The lower bar is free for their leisure. Tavish sits in one of the couches, and immediately there is warmth around him, an arm snaking forward and clutching the front of his shirt.

When he turns his head, Jane stutters, “I uh. Sorry. I’ve just always wanted to…”

“No apologies necessary.” Tavish lifts his free arm and drops it around Jane’s shoulders.

It still doesn’t feel wrong. He hasn’t hit that invisible barrier that always seems to come up when he gets like this, and that both thrills and terrifies him. The idea that it could be waiting for him in the distance, but also that it might not be waiting for him at all.

“Merasmus is going to be pissed at you,” Jane notes absently.

“That so?”

“Mm. He was really looking forward to getting rid of me.”

“Ah. Well if he tries to seek his supernatural revenge, he’ll have another thing coming. I can beat a wizard any day of the week.”

“If you think you’re going to be dueling any wizards without me, then you are a hippie and a fool, DeGroot!”

A smile springs over Tavish’s face. He raises his drink for Jane to toast. “I’d never deny you that honor. He comes rolling down on clouds and thunder to have the bar brawl of the century, you’ll be the one I call to have my back.”

“Damn straight.”

Jane clinks their glasses together, and they swill in unison.

#boots n bombs #demosolly #tf2 fanfiction

10 notes · View notes