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ace-of-gay · 2 years

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Happiness greed?

Steve rogers x reader

Warnings: depressing a self depreciating/ destructive thoughts, mental health, physical ailments, being held still, head banging, angst with a tiny little piece of fluff in there but not alot, this is a very self indulgent fic with a terrible mental thought process that i still deal with but am working on healing myself from this is putting you into my shoes from a few years ago shifted a little with how someone helps you, to fit it into a fanfic.

No pronouns or skintone used or implied

Welcome to all body types

1,353words

Edited to the best of my ability

Im being serious as ever when i say this, the thought process in this may be triggering for some, if you are struggling with mental health and are impulsive on it or triggerd easily do not read this, you are responsible for your own media consumption especially after two sets of warnings.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Neutral for you was normal, but if you happened to explain Neutral people would probably fear for you, all your life you’ve been shut down and walked all over, never given a chance to have someone listen to your desperate cries for help.

So be it, you shut all emotions out and after enough time Neutral became safe, a cascade of walls to surround the figmented little version of yourself that lives inside your head, screaming, begging, desires so sick all behind a straight face, it was easier to be what you needed for others than the other way around.

Maybe it led to frustration and pessimism and really by Maybe I mean it does, its like drowning to the point the deep end becomes your air.

After so long of walking in darkness your eyes dry of trailing useless tears that you start to see the tiny glints of others happiness.

Your body doesn't deserve happiness, it hurt you, all you wanted was happiness and everyone else on a parallel path said that the doctors could fix you how they did them so you tried it, you sought help.

But your body became a vessel of negative reaction, no one would listen, every moment it continued the worse it got, the convulsions, the tremors the tics, your body no longer yours but freedom to chemical derangement, just a happiness greed.

Emotions being turned off, if everyone else can ignore them surely you can as well, your mind finding itself to be on autopilot almost always there for someone else’s desires, take take take, desperately feed their desperation from a merely empty wishing well.

Drowning in burning chemicals and bodily ailments but everyone else’s rose tinted glasses cancel out the crimson words figuratively written in vein.

For some time you could push through it even while watching peter parker golden retriever teen bounce around the halls or the bump in Steve’s step, it took him years and years of therapy to get where he’s at.

Therapy, it only works for people who deserve it, who have a reason, and you’ve helped everyone you know without being a licensed therapist but the doctors cant fix you, its a sickening feeling, you’re only here to make people feel better, surely somehow you deserve to as well right?

Everyone greets you with kindness and than there’s Steve, you don’t realize he sees it, he sees himself in you he tries to check how you’re doing everyday but your mind has written rules that if anyone ever asks the dreaded "how are you" it give in return a chuckle and "debatable" to let it all carry on.

Lost in your mind there’s just something desperately different about the way today etches in your chest, but you wont find out why until later.

A façade on your slate you head out to meet up with the team in the common room, the only reason you get out of bed is because you cant help remind yourself of everything everyone else has gone through.

Oddly enough your day went by with a breeze, you cant remember much of it but in this case its good, you got done with work around five giving yourself time to finally eat and than go about your personal life for as long as your head will let you.

You end up in a call with one of your friends, everyone would think that’s great but its the type of phone call that only happens when you’re needed to be someone else’s serotonin service.

Letting them rant is the best you can do but when they just go on and on about the same thing it bores into time you could have spent trying to chill the once rolling fire now scolding drilling agony of a spike in your migraine. Your neck twitching from medically induced illness, happiness is a drug and it one you cant get addicted to, what good is a dealer to be addicted to their own give, easy answer they’re not, they would just take it all for themselves. But greed for your own space is all it is that you feel so as you sit there listening to them drone on your mind fills with the sound of tv static.

the one tremor that really causes issues sets in, you cant fight the fragment false signals that come from the remnants of serotonin syndrome damage, like a shiver in the cold your jaw rattles and tremors, the person finally hangs up and you’re left alone in agony.

The dark of the room seeping to your thoughts you cant even feel the rapid jolts in your body, your body lurching forward and than relaxing and lurching once more over and over until the direction of everything's torment shifts.

*thud* and your head slams backwards into the wall, you don’t have the strength to move, again *bam* the sound resonates through the floor followed by choked trembling sobs, your hands so numb but electricity coursing through your arms, you can taste the blood of despair in your mouth *thud* you have no control of anything happening but the tears and sobs.

Your eyes fluttering in time with your jaw causing a strobing affect... strobing? *thud*

And in seconds you feel a hand cushion behind your head, pulling you into sitting in-between their legs, your back to their chest.

They shift their hand to your forehead holding your head against their shoulder, their other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders to keep you from lurching and slamming.

They cross their legs over yours to keep them still to not hurt yourself in your brains signals redirection of electric pulses.

Your jaw continuing and your hands trembling your body convulsing but still enough to silence the you inside your head from screaming to end it.

Your hearing coming back slowly still plagued by the beat of your heart thrumming in your ears "shhh hey were okay, you’re okay, were just going to sit he and breathe for a bit, you hear me y/n? I’m here I’m not going anywhere."

Your hands eventually stop and you subdue your convulsions to a gentle rocking that he does with you.

Someone is finally there and you don’t need to speak, he takes his hand from your forehead as your bodies attack finally settles enough to leave you with the tremor in your jaw.

"Hey Jarvis can you ask Bucky to bring a bottle of water to y/n's room please?"

A few minutes later Bucky walks in handing the water to Steve "do you need me to stay or do you want me to go?"

"I’ve got it bud, but thank you, ill call if i need some help" leaving it to you and who you’ve determined to be Steve, his hold warm and kind, "do you think you can drink some water for me?" You nod letting him hold the cup to your mouth not yet able to move your body yourself yet.

He later helps you lay down in your bed, sitting next to you he just wants to make sure you’re safe.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you tonight?" Nodding you cant get speaking to work just yet.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~◇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Its three months later, the movements, tremors, convulsions, vocal and physical tics still happen but its three months in time that you’ve been going to therapy, not to fix anything how you hoped but to learn, with Steve you��ve come to finally feel like its not greedy to want to be happy.

Happy, you still don’t feel it but you’re learning, advocating for your health both physically and mentally, its going to be a long journey, the ailments aren’t going to go away, they’re permanent damage but its not because you were greedy, its from medical malpractice.

Steve has promised he’s there for the ride of life with you, even when your body collapses and your heartrate "hits a new high score"

He’s not going anywhere, he loves you and he will make it as abundantly clear as you need him to.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Please know you are not alone, its okay to reach out, you are not weak you are not greedy, you are just as deserving of the help you desire as everyone one else no if ands or buts.

My messages are always always open💚

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x male reader #steve rogers x reader imagine #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers x female reader

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luvly-writer · 1 year

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No hate but are you ever gonna write a y/n whose whole personality isn’t just being Latina and then making a story out of really common latina stereotypes and surface level fanon interpretations of dc characters ? Don’t get me wrong the SMau’s are entertaining and I appreciate the work you put into the stories but it’s like they’re all the same (again no hate and this is coming from a Latina as well)

a. the majority of the time i write her in ways that reflect how I and the people that surround me act. Seeing as I was born, raised and currently live in Puerto Rico, many interactions, responses, and ways of her acting are based on things that me, my friends, and family have seen, said, done, expressed, and experienced. I truly try to write a character, in all of them, that is proud of her heritage and un afraid to express it. Part of it being inclusive towards latinas, is celebrating that things that make us, us. That is the reason that she demonstrates it as a character. Again, most of the things that I have written are things I have experienced, not stereotypes I have followed. Things such as speaking Spanglish, loving Salsa, missing home, big family dinners, el bochinche, and the genuine love and quick kindness many of us latinos share. Why would I make a Latina reader if I don’t emphasize the latino part.

b. With all respect to your opinion, I can see some similarities between the stories but they are not the same. ‘Lovely as you are’ (Damian x reader) takes on two college students, who don’t get along and are faced with the fact that they are soulmates whilst having a lot of miscommunication. ‘You are my sunshine” (Jason x reader) may follow the same line as LAYA because of the soulmate au, but aside from that it’s a whole different playing field seeing as they are two adults who face attraction from the beginning and develop their relationship from there on. I may have used the miscommunication trope for a second but the story carried on after that. Finally, ‘But oh..cara mia” (Dick x Reader) follows a whole different concept and Yn is not only a latina, she is also an Amazon. For my future stories, to which I already have the drafts for, they as well are not following the same line. Yes, there ARE similarities, such as speaking Spanish and visiting family, but they are not the same. Again, with all respect, do not mix the similarities with saying they are the same. Each story follows a different concept.

c. Finally, for the DC canon vs fannon. Seeing as we ALL read fanfic (reason why we are here lmao), the fanom interpretations are what we are mostly exposed to. Given that, naturally it will flow into the story, yet those are not the only things taken in consideration. Many of the things I have used for inspiration to get the characters right are things such as the animated movies, (ex. Batman: Hush, Son of Batman),the BatFam webtoon (which i sneak a few references to that), Young Justice, Teen Titans, etc. I mainly use the ANIMATED universe as my guide because it is the one I have been mostly exposed to. DC is a very dark universe, which is why most of us love it, but I do like to incorporate some fluff, fun, and light into that world. As a matter of fact, in “But oh..cara mia”, I rewatched the episodes of Teen Titans where Slade appeared so that I could properly showcase that arc. At the same time, given that Dick is most of the time shown as a sunshiny, preppy, go lucky golden boy, I incorporated a lot of his angst and anger from the earlier years in his story (well obviously, unlike the rest he IS the main character in this one, therefore developing him more). Before I write, I go back to the animated movies in order stay refreshed on each of them as a character. The only one I kind of had problems with was Jason because we only have Under the Red Hood, so i took more liberties with him, still trying to stay true to the character. Plus, the fact that we have WAY too many timelines, storylines, universes, and changes in the comics, I guess these takes of them wouldn’t hurt. Finally, if we all wanted full cannon, we would read the comics, this is all done for good hearted fun and entertainment.

Thank you for reading and for your comment. Please, I insist you do not take this the wrong way, I am just clearing up the three points you made in the ask. You are welcome to read any of my stories and enjoy them as much as you’d like! <3

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felixantares · 1 year

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10 First Lines tagging game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway

okay well I definitely don’t have ten and I don’t have any posted works, but I guess I can share some unposted stuff! thank you for the tag @the-francakes!! 💚

1. Somehow, in all his time fighting, Harry hadn’t given much thought to what would come after the war. Even when he had, he never thought he’d be sitting in the cold, watching dusty old ruins and missing the days spent chasing rumours of horcruxes across the country with Ron and Hermione – but that’s exactly where he found himself, sat in silence against a low wall with Ron as leaves tumbled past on an autumn breeze. [tear my heart out slow, my Tomarry time travel wip]

2. The door of Number 4 Privet Drive slammed shut behind Harry, cutting off Vernon’s demands that Harry come back and make Marge right again. He wouldn’t — she’d gotten what she deserved. Still, the satisfaction of seeing her panic did nothing to stop his hands from shaking as he dragged his trunk away from his aunt and uncle’s house. [honestly the first lines for build me no shrines (sing me no songs) are super boring. It’s a series re-write with Slytherin!Harry, some Snupin, some Regulus as Harry’s father, and a (large) sprinkle of Arthurian legend but it starts off just after Harry blows up Marge haha]

3. Peace at last. Here, away from judging eyes and expectations he could never measure up to, so far from those who could hurt him. His world was dark and cold, but it was his and he was finally, blissfully alone. [unnamed ghost!Reg fic 🥰 little ghost man just wants to be left alone but of course he gets pulled from his peaceful afterlife because I’m incapable of letting him be happy]

4. Tick tick tick tick… Pansy sat at her piano, the insistent beat droning through her body—forcing her rhythms, forcing her hands to follow. This was no romanticised, emotive, key-stroking practice session. This was war. Two different metres, two different hands, two months of work, and she still hadn’t conquered these few measly measures. [unnamed Pansmione murder-suicide fic. it’s got pianos and werewolves and extremely questionable medical practices!]

5. Remus let out a shuddering breath in the shadowed hallway of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was just a house, he reminded himself. Nothing to be scared of. [even as a shadow (even as a dream), a post-war wolfstar fic with ghost!Sirius and a haunted house]

6. Standing in front of a decrepit building that hardly deserved to be called a shack, Severus ran through a list of curses he might be able to get away with putting on Petunia. Running from wizards — really she should have known better. [unnamed little Severitus fic idea where instead of Hagrid, Snape gets sent to give Harry his letter]

none of these are posted or even finished because I’m actually allergic to finishing stories and also to putting them where people can see lol but uhhhh anyway, gonna tag @venom0usbarbie @allalrightagain @sandervansunshine @luxuriousmalfoy @lunapwrites and @black-sparroww (not ten but one for each wip anyway) hopefully I’m not tagging anyone who’s done it before!!

#my writing #tag game #10 first lines #felix talks

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screadingchallenge · 2 years

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Behind the Keyboard Volume 25

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Let’s meet our next author:

@legalgal421 / LegalGal421

How many fics have you written?

24 and counting!

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

Just over a year ago - June 9, 2021. It was A Year of Home

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3.

Idea comes to me, I will do my version of an outline, I’ll write over a way too long period of time, send it to my beta, review again b/c I can’t let it go and then finally publish. In between, there is tons of research.

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

Knowing You Can Always Count On Me

This was an idea that was borne out of a personal experience. I received an invitation from someone I had long written out of my life. I didn’t respond. I hit ‘delete’ on the email. I was happy to give that experience to David, on a much more dramatic scale. I really liked that it could have gone either way - David could have also decided to give his old friend a second chance and I still think it could have worked. I wish I had given my original characters a bit more, but I wanted to stick to David’s growth. I also wish I would’ve found a way to show just how ingrained David has become in the community.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

First and foremost, get yourself a beta. If you don’t know of anyone, reach out to me. It’s so important to see your work through someone else’s eyes.

Also, just have fun and write! Writing is so much fun, so cathartic.

Finally, don’t worry about the kudos and comments. They will come.

Do you use a beta? Why or why not? Do you beta for other people?

I absolutely use a beta because it is so important. I have a few. It’s so important to use one because they catch inconsistencies and grammar mistakes you may miss. They help you make you a better writer.

The author has a responsibility here too. You cannot be closed to criticism of your writing. I’ve had my betas tell me something about a story that is not working. And you know what? They have been right and it has forced me to delve deeper, think more and make the story even better.

I’ve also learned from my betas and built upon their suggestions in fics I’ve written later. It’s made my writing better.

How many unfinished WIPs do you have right now?

I just counted. It’s 7. Yikes! A couple may never be finished because I ran out of ideas or the idea was not working.

In what way are you most like your favorite Schitt’s Creek character?

Not to sound cliched, but I’ve always loved David. Even before Patrick was introduced, I kept rooting for a win for him. I think I identify with David because I also have very specific opinions and can be a bit much at times.

Would you rather find a title or write a summary?

This is a tough question! I stink at both. But, forced to pick, I would say summary.

How much of yourself do you put into your stories or characters?

I tend to put a lot of myself into original characters I create, especially if they are a friend to one of the canon characters. I also sometimes take scenarios and think about how I would have reacted and what I would have done. This is especially true in my fic about Rachel - And You’re Not In Love With Me. I’ve never been in any situation like Rachel’s, but I think this is how I would have reacted.

#behind the keyboard #meet the authors #sc fanfic #schitt’s creek #schitts creek

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freshairforrabbits · 10 months

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Taking your word for it re fanfiction asks, so: 1, 7, 9 (for your Hostel fic that deserves more love), 10 (again Hostel), 17, 21, 25, 27, 28, 36, 41, 44, 45, 47, 48, 49. Your made up title to write a summary for is "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" from skins by the Haunting, which I have been listening to on repeat over the past few days.

Thank you for asking all of these ❤️ and also for making me discover that song because it is so fucking good!!!

1)Since I can remember! At toddler age and maybe even a bit before, my mom would let me and the siblings draw all over these little blank picture books she would staple together. She would then ask what the story was about so she could write it down on each page, and I was already making up new endings to whatever media I could understand like Bug's Life, Jurassic Park, PBS kids shows. If that doesn't count as fanfic though– then I seriously buckled down to write my first one when I was 10, with pencil and paper, and then 22 for actually finishing one and posting it on AO3

7) anytime after 9pm

9) oh fuck that's a tough one, I'd say in Jagten it's the parts with Paxton stumbling around the Elite Hunting Clubs killing floor, because in the movie that's one of my favorite scenes where Paxton calls Natalya a bitch and then she's like, 'they paid me a lot of money for you. That makes you my bitch.' Just getting to write her seeing his shock and disgust and fear was fun as hell.

10) I was going to actually go all the way up to some plotline where she does kill him (since Paxton is killed in the Hostel universe I figured Natalya becoming a hunter to do the honors instead would've been so badass of her, despite Paxton being a favorite in his own right he's just very killable), but then I figured it'd be far better to start things off sort of where they began with the fic. Natalya and Paxton facing each other down except this time the resolution is up in the air, and Paxton has no idea that she's coming for him.

17) The girl, she made a deal, he remembers it now, to save the ghosts she'd come to see as friends, as more parents than her own, sacrificing herself to a crude entity of booze, sex, and filth;

beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeetlejuice.

21) If we are talking about outside of AO3 then that would be god, this would be a lot of people both within AO3 and outside of AO3, hm, I really admire this one author who wouldn't you know shares the same name as you! All jokes aside, so much of the fics I've been writing and making lately have been directly inspired by your writing and so I can't help but admire the fuck out of the absolute range of your writing and the ability you have to tackle so many different styles and characters!

25) Yes! Although I can't give any specific examples, I just know I have, and it's usually when writing super hopeful bits after writing a bunch of incredibly harrowing sequences.

27) I make outlines! They're typically very long too and constantly get changed around and shifted and even deleted and rewritten many times. The outline for pretty boy is 40k on any given day and most of that will not actually be what's finally written it's just excerpts and scenes that don't quite work but pieces of them could be stitched together for something better

28) There isn't exactly anything I'm doing super different now then when I first started! But I wish I'd known to never touch general fandom Tumblr or Twitter or social media (and especially Discord Servers) with a ten foot pole when I started posting, that'll destroy your motivation to write faster than anything, not to mention it gets in your head about characterization and whatever else; like just write!! Just write and don't look at what other people are saying because it is not worth it unless they're fellow authors you have a rapport with

36) Selfcest-Daddy-Son Carnival Ride of Grooming and Sexual Battery from Fucking Hell; Oh and don't forget the maybe-baby! (not sure if that's the spoiler that questions asking for but dfghhjjj)

41) Probably Natalya from Hostel and Natália from 3% in an unfinished wip but she's not exactly a minor character imo, just under appreciated

44) (You fight, you rip into him, you eat him alive, fangs sunk through the muscle of lips, colonel's cum, corporal's blood swapped between you, ouroboros, you—)

45) Sheer mental illness, literally nothing else makes me write 30k in two weeks more than a sudden burst of energy and nigh delusional thinking which inevitably leads to a cycle of crashing and burning but fuck it we ball nothing else gets me clearing out those wips faster. That and one of the core elements of experiential therapy emphasizes learning to express through writing so that definitely keeps me going too since the more I write the more I can take with me to a session even if the content isn't relevant, it's all about processing a vast array of situations and emotions and intrusive thoughts through playing with little figures in the sandbox of a word document.

47) "i need no introduction (welcome to the greatest show)" this is going to be such a boring answer but for a title like this nothing better comes to mind then that idea you mentioned about Recom Jake being captured by the Na'vi. Just something about how he'd be putting on his best performance for them, all Loki stuck in a glass cage style or something, knowing oJake is freaked the hell out by him and then everything to do with Spider would be such a fucking mess. And good God that song is a banger!! (I am now listening to it on repeat as well while writing haha) I'm notoriously shit with creating summaries on the spot so apologies for not being able to make one up :'')

48) Imprisonment. Bottom line, I don't know if that's a trope per se? But a character, specifically the protagonist or the biggest baddie of the fandom getting mind-breaked in a cell I pretty much write for every fandom I have ever been in and probably will continue to do so.

49) Warrior Cats Truth or Dare on FFnet, it was a crackfic that had me dying laughing as a kid I remember reading it every night before bed in elementary school. Very fun, and it is why I love a good crackfic to this day

#answered asks #thank you for letting me ramble about all of these things haha ❤️

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Hi there, I'm a really big fan of your metas and I appreciate the perspective you bring since you are a lot more focused on canon than most people I follow (I personally prefer the ~vibe of twilight over the execution so Im guilty of a lot of canon-divergent "what-if-ing" lol). I'm not sure if you've addressed this before but I was wondering: what draws you most to twilight? Is there anything you would want to change about the series? I hope you're having a nice day! -bellaslilpapercut

Ooh this is a fun ask. And thank you for your kind words!! For the record I too enjoy my what-ifs, too much in fact. Fanfic is a years-long addiction of mine.

As for what draws me to Twilight, I’ll just bullet point them.

The vampires Meyer’s vampires aren’t really vampires at all, they’re aliens who call themselves vampires. They’re absolutely fascinating creatures, terrifying and inhuman in a way so few authors manage to create true inhumanity. (I find so many supernatural creatures end up basically being gimmicks, enhanced humans at best. If you can’t tell your vampire apart from an MCU superhero, you’re doing it wrong.)

The worldbuilding There are many things I like about Meyer’s worldbuilding, one of them being her restraint. There are vampires, shapeshifters, and a one-off reference to the nearly extinct werewolves. That’s it. She created the creatures her story needed, and not one leprechaun more. And I like that for a lot of reasons, the big one being that it makes her creatures serve the story, rather than the other way around. Another major thing I like about her worldbuilding is that a lot of fantasy stories want to have their regular modern world the reader can recognize and eat the vampire cake too. You get these universes where the supernatural exists, only it’s secret and hasn’t impacted the world we know in any way because... reasons. The Vampire Diaries is a great example, we have vampires eat people with abandon yet their existence is a secret to the world at large. Why is that? Why, in a world where the supernatural is commonplace, does the world not look different? Twilight answers these questions.

The characters Meyer creates so many great characters. I have my favorites, of course, but I find nearly all the characters she created interesting. (Well, considering how so many of the characters we get to know in the Guide are hilarious, perhaps “entertaining” is a better word for it) More, while there are some characters that could have been cut (Esme and Emmett come to mind), on the whole most characters in the story have a reason to be in it. And that’s not a given at all, Harry Potter is a shining example of a cast where 90% could have been cut. (Example: remove the Crouch family from Goblet of Fire and have Pettigrew abduct Harry instead of Barty Crouch Jr.. The plot doesn’t change at all. The Crouch family has failed the sexy lamp test. So have almost all of Harry’s classmates.)

The unreliable narrator Caveat - I think all narrators are in some way unreliable. The difference is how much, and to how great a degree what’s actually happening shines through to the reader. And Twilight is a story where there’s stuff happening behind the scenes all the time, people Bella doesn’t understand doing things for reasons Bella doesn’t know about, and Bella never realizes any of it. This makes Twilight a lot of fun to engage with.

The loose threads I sort of get into this below, but there are so many loose threads in Twilight, which means endless fanfic material. Other fandoms, where I wouldn’t change a thing, end up being fandoms I don’t write anything for either. (See Prometheus - loved it, never writing fic for it) Why change perfection? Twilight, on the other hand, I get ideas faster than I can write them.

As for what I’d change...

I’m happy with the story. It’s not quite the story I would have written, off the top of my head I would have gone a different direction with Victoria and had her successfully kidnap Bella in New Moon, only to find that killing this human when Edward clearly doesn’t care would be no revenge at all, and that this human is really all she’s got left at this point. (See? I do like my what-ifs!).

Alternatively, if I was writing the story that occurs in Twilight, then I would have chosen Carlisle’s point of view and it would have been Othello with vampires, featuring Aro as Desdemona. I mean, that already is the story, it’s just that Bella’s narration is so oblivious she never realizes.

This is not to say I wouldn’t have done a lot of things very differently if I were writing Twilight. Jasper, for instance, I would not have him drop “fun fact, I fought for the right to own slaves!” mid-conversation and then never bring it up again. And bigger things, such as I would have cut Jacob and the wolves entirely (And now we’re back to “Victoria kidnaps Bella and the story turns into femmeslash”. I end up with weird ships in Twilight, and the thing is that I see no way around them. How do you people who ship the canon pairs do it?! Tell me your secrets!).

Point being, I would have changed a lot of things. Breaking up the Cullens is another big one, that coven is unsustainable and I'm like a Persian warrior because all I wanna do is watch these Olympics fall.

And there’s one thing I’d change unequivocally, the first thing I’d change, the thing I would pull into a dark alley and stab, and that’s the imprinting. It’s a life-ruiner for everybody involved, it plays into this nasty theme of the shapeshifters losing their free will, and it doesn’t even serve the story to make up for it. Jacob and the Quileutes had no need to be in the story in Breaking Dawn, the Cullens could have left town (and were going to) and that would have been it. So, I would cut the imprinting. With a knife.

This is not to say I don’t like what Meyer did, though. I agree with the decisions the characters make, big and small, at no point in the series do I go “X wouldn’t do that, that’s OOC!”. I even like the plot of Breaking Dawn. Everything that happens in the story makes sense to me. I do, sincerely, enjoy Twilight. It’s just- well, it’s not how I would have told this story.

Oh, and of course - the use of a real minority the way Meyer did was egregious and she should never have done it. More, I was shocked and disappointed to learn the Quileute tribe didn’t profit from this. You would think they would have been involved in merch for Twilight - this could have become a huge source of income for them - but nope. Others have spoken far more eloquently than me on this matter and have said everything I could, so I’ll just note that no fictional series should use (there’s really no other word for it) a real and oppressed minority the way Twilight did. The fact that the Quileute tribe didn’t even get to see any of that Twilight money is just salt in the wound.

#the victoria scenario is a fic i intend to write #which is why it came to mind so readily #stephenie meyer #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight worldbuilding #victoria #bella swan #twilight vampires #theoldpinkdog #ask

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shades-of-stony · 3 years

Text

Heavy Angst (And Not-So-Heavy but Still Angsty) Stony Fanfics!

I’m absolutely love a good Tony whump and hurt story so prepare to see a lot of those here! Get your tissues ready!

Push by phoenixreal

Summary: Tony Stark was known for pissing people off, it was a given. Then, after the man everyone thought was nothing more than a selfish prick decided to nearly kill himself saving Manhattan from a nuclear bomb, even the most sure of Tony's bastard status had to rethink it. And then, his team who were sure they had him pegged, they were invited (ordered) to move into Stark Tower with him. To their surprise, they found he had furnished full floors for each of them, somehow knowing their tastes exactly, including a floor dedicated to the resident Asgardian who would only be there some of the time. Surprised, and please, they all wonder at the enigma that is their host. After a couple months, Pepper Potts stops coming around so much, and they realize that something has exchanged between them because they are rather professional to each other. Pepper still frets over Tony, but instead tells the others to keep an eye on him rather than doing it herself. They easily forget that Tony is, and always has been, simply a human civilian. Then things get strange when they find themselves locked down within Stark tower, and after a harrowing viewing of a mysterious video, they find their resident playboy is completely gone.

Note: Prepare to cry and be hurt! This fanfic dabbles with Tony’s insecurity, self-worth, and issues. Please heed the warnings!

The words you choose to say by masterlokisev159

Summary: After the SHRA, the events around Steve’s death and Tony discovering he deleted part of his brain, Tony finally decides he's done enough. With Osborn taken care of, Tony leaves the Avengers and decides to quit being Ironman effective immediately.

He tells himself it doesn't hurt when Steve agrees. Why should it? After everything he's done, the team's better off without him.

However before he can truly move on, there are things he needs to take care of, and it's not long before he realizes he's dangerously close to losing his company. He's desperate and willing to do anything to keep it together.

So when, after months of silence, Steve asks him to drop everything and come work for Shield, Tony finds he doesn't have a choice. He agrees, no matter how much he knows he shouldn't. His reputation isn't exactly the best after the SHRA and he's heard stories of what he'd done as Director. He's knows what he's done. He's knows he's responsible for what happened to Steve.

He just wishes someone had warned him first. He hadn't been prepared to deal with the consequences.

Note: A 1000/10 angst fanfic that made me weep at 3 am in the morning. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. READ IT AND PREPARE TO CRY BUCKETS

Protocol SOTERIA by GoldenFinches

Summary: Friday's primary objective at all times is to protect one Anthony Edward Stark. And she will fulfill that objective no matter what it takes. Even if it means including certain people she thought she would never have to deal with again.

(Basically the Rogue Avengers get some sense knocked into them with the help of Friday and handful of videos.)

Note: A HIGHLY RECOMMENDED ANGSTY FANFIC. I CRIED SO MUCH READING THIS.

Straight to Voicemail by YouMakeMeDokiDoki

Summary: "I DID!" Tony screamed, cutting Steve off mid-sentence and whirling around to glare at him.

"I CALLED YOU! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!"

The one where no one answered their phone and things got out of hand.

Note: this will absolutely break you heart.

Sunshine and Luck by ImportedfromMunich2

Summary: Months after Siberia, Steve and the rest of the defectors are pardoned and allowed back onto the Avengers, with the help of Tony Stark. Now that they're back - nothing is the same as before. Tony is even avoiding Steve at all costs.

Then one night - Tony barges into Steve's bedroom while he sleeps, and they have spontaneous, passionate sex.

Only, the Tony Stark he just fucked isn't from this universe.

Now, Steve has to find a way to explain to Tony that he had sex with his counterpart from another dimension.

Note: A good Steve whump fic!

When You Mess With Him... by REM_It_Up

Summary: During an event with the Avengers, Tony is kidnapped by an unknown group of men right in front of the team. The group who took Tony taunt the Avengers by leaving small clues to Tony's whereabouts. When the kidnappers finally get in contact with the team, they are forced to watch Tony get tortured on camera.

The Avengers desperately search for their missing friend before they never see him again.

The kidnappers are smart and fast, they have everything figured out in order to get away with their plan...They just forgot one thing--

Colonel James Rhodes

Note: Now this is really heavy! Brace yourselves for a kidnapped and tortured tony! Also, protective honey bear aka Rhodey bonus here!

To Need is Not To Want by Brixon

Summary: All his life Tony has been used as a means to someone's end. Always someone's tool in a game. Carelessly thrown aside, once they had no longer use of him. He keeps it bottled up because, because he's Tony Stark. But he's always had this desire that one day someone would come who would stay because they wanted and needed him. He thought he had that with the Avengers, but after everything with the Accords and everyone leaving after Civil War that hope of having something of his to stay was gone.

Despite being burned constantly, Tony still has this wanting. So when Ryder, an old college friend, comes back into his life and actually seems to want to stay because he wants AND needs Tony, Tony is beyond thrilled. Because Ryder is staying. It doesn't matter if the bruises stay too.

But what happens when the Avengers return and Tony finds himself wondering once again exactly what he wants and what he needs.

Note: I’m sure, from the summary, you can tell that it’s a heartbreak here.

Hiding Things Is All Too Easy - Until It Isn't by audhds

Summary: Tony hasn't been the same since Bucky arrived at Stark Tower. That much is obvious. But Steve is overjoyed to have his best friend back and is somewhat oblivious to how Tony is withdrawing away from him. Because surely Tony is just overworked as usual. He must be quiet and jumpy because he is sleep deprived. And of course he has a few cuts and bruises on the visible parts of his skin - he fights and works for the Avengers as a living. It's part of the job description. Until it isn't.

Will Steve discover the physical and mental trauma that Tony is going through before it is too late?

Note: This is even heavier! Please read the tags carefully! Also, this has some serious Bucky bashing! If you are a Bucky fan but still interested in this, please prepare yourself.

No Trait As Much As This by KandiSheek

Summary: Tony gets hit with truth serum. It's a terrible time for everyone.

Note: A bit lighter than the others but still angst nonetheless. The added truth serum element makes this even more interesting!

Good For You by @orbingarrow

Summary: Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

Note: Another Tony-in-abusive-relationships fanfic!!

hold the things you wanna say by SailorChibi

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay.

He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really.

What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always.

This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

Note: Anyone up for some Howard-travels-to-the-future fanfic?

Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies by MemoryDragon

Summary: Seven-year-old Tony Stark wakes up on a Hydra base, lost, afraid, and alone. He has to overcome his fears before it's too late for the Avengers and Captain America.

Note: De-aged Tony just screams heavy angst and hurt!

Advanced Protocol by masterlokisev159

Summary: The Incursions are coming. The Illuminati have surrendered and everyone has come together to take one last stand.

Everyone except Tony. And Steve is tired of waiting. He wants answers.

There's something the Illuminati aren't telling him.

Note: If you don’t know what the Avalon is in Marvel, I recommend you search it up, or you could read this fic. You will be heartbroken with what you find.

Flower Child by itsallAvengers

Summary: The point was this, though:

In a hundred million universes, in a hundred million different lives, there would never be a single one of them in which Tony Stark deserved anyone like Steve Rogers. Ever.

So this? Nonsensical.

Note: Another fanfic that highlights child abuse and Tony’s insecurities!

What Pays All Debts by KandiSheek

Summary: No one is supposed to survive the date written on their skin. And yet Tony's numbers keep piling up.

Note: Angst + Death dates? You could probably foretell how much of a gut-wrench journey this is.

Falling Into You by sabrecmc

Summary: Tony and Steve end up as fuck buddies after the events of The Winter Soldier until Steve calls it off. When Loki's spell wipes all of Steve's memories since the last time Loki was in town, Tony decides it will be so much easier to just not tell Steve they had something of a relationship. Spoiler: It isn't.

Or, how Steve fell in love with Tony and forgot about it, and how Tony fell in love with Steve and realized it.

Note: There are just something about amnesia fanfics that makes it so goddamn heartbreaking.

Art Freaks and Comic Geeks by Coil

Summary: Tony Stark had made himself a phenomenally renowned writer. The world had fallen in love with the heroes that appeared in his novels; captivated by his vivid words of life and colour.

His next ambition was to publish a comic book series starring the much-beloved heroes of his novels. There was just one problem. Brilliant as Tony may have been with his words, his skills in the field of drawing were less than great. It didn’t help that he barely knew what his characters ought to look like in the first place.

Enter: Mister Steve Rogers – an up-and-coming artist/illustrator with the potential to be brilliant.

Their paths happen to cross at Comic-Con.

Note: this is a much lighter angsty fanfic but is still angsty. It is a Modern AU mixed with Artist!Steve and Writer!Tony.

Unwritten Endings by XtaticPearl

Summary: Tony takes the bullet meant for Captain America at the end of their war and through his death, brings together the team again. Only, he isn't really dead and when he comes back, the equations between the team-mates begin to alter and reform, writing a new story altogether.

Note: Of course, you can’t have an angst fanfic rec without a fake death fanfic!

WIP

Need Is Just A Word by masterlokisev159

Summary: A month has gone by since the war and Tony has never felt more alone. of course, with the unrest within the government, the disappearance of the Avengers and the obvious lack of Steve Rogers, it was only a matter of time before the UN finally flipped out and decided to act on the last available Avenger. Too bad they didn't realise a promise had been made by Captain America to be there when Iron man needed him.

Note: a gut-wrenching Post CA:CW fanfic where tony is suffering the consequences of the civil war.

Take me out tonight by masterlokisev159

Summary: When Steve gets invited to a formal party with the government, Fury tells him he can bring a plus one of his choosing. While listening quietly in the corner, Tony heaves a sigh of relief because the team could really do with some positive publicity and any of the Avengers are a good choice for Steve. Tony just wants Steve to be happy after all, even if he knows Steve's gonna pick Natasha. He knows Steve doesn't like him and he's aware there's never going to be anything more between them. They're barely even friends really.

So of course he's absolutely shocked when a gold filigree letter rests in his palms two days later. He's the worst person for this.

Why on earth did Steve choose him?

Note: AHHHHHHHH, INSECURE TONY IS JUST A FAVORITE. Also, confident!Steve that knows who he wants is just a whole new mood!

The Soul Stone's Sacrifice by masterlokisev159

The soul stone demands a sacrifice that Tony and Steve are not prepared for, but in the end, one life is sacrificed for the many. Steve lets Tony go for the last time and mourns a future they never had.

That is until Tony comes back.

Note: A scenario where Tony and Steve where the ones to go to Vormir.

#stony #stony fic #stony fic rec #steve and tony #steve and tony fic #stony au #stony angst #superhusbands #stony fics #stony fanfiction

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masterhandss · 3 years

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Forbidden fruit ask time: Keith x Katarina. I know people in western fandom are understandably wary of this ship, but apparently it's one of the favourites for the Japanese audience and based on what I heard it actually has some decent foundation in novels (not as much as GeoKata, but still). Since you read novels and are #1 hamefura blog on Tumblr and know so much I wanted to ask you to tell us how KeiKata is doing in novels if it's okay owo??

owo!! lmao, I don't know about being the "#1 hamefura blog on tumblr" (I-I... I thought I was an art blog... :')) I mean I just like to ramble about hamefura lmao but I'm always happy to answer questions!

Yeah... Keith x Katarina is a hard subject to talk about considering how violent reactions can be depending on who you're talking to. I remember when Season 1 was airing, people really doesn't like Keith as a romantic option for Katarina due to them being siblings, and I'm honestly waiting for those people to react to the S2 OP and S2 in general. I've talked to a few people who don't like KeiKata at all, and they have the absolute right to dislike any ship that they want, but it did make me sad to know how much Keith is hated by the EN Fandom considering how loved he is in the JP Fandom. He's pretty much the most favorite male character and the second most shipped with Katarina.

-> hamefura x(s2) & ln spoilers ahead <-

A lot of people's issues with Keith stems from the fact that he and Katarina are step-sibling and that it's really weird for Keith to be romantically interested in Katarina (a person who sees him as a little brother completely). People are accusing him of taking advantage of Katarina's trust in him to keep her to himself and that pursuing her romantically would destroy the familial bond that they've had for years. The thing is that Keith treasures Katarina as a person, not as a sibling. Yes, Keith sees her as family, but he also sees her as more than family. To him, being able to be together with Katarina doesn't mean that he'll have to love her differently, but that he will be able to love her even more deeply and honestly. You can even headcanon that the reason Keith calls Katarina "big sister" is because he's asked to do so, and because it's a symbol of his acceptance into the family, but maybe not necessarily how he sees her.

Some of the material that will be covered in Season 2 is about Keith, so I don't know how much I want to talk about that since most fans will be able to see it themselves. Keith has it the hardest because his position makes it so that he's the least likely to get his feelings across to Katarina due to their relationship. In one of the upcoming arcs in the anime, Keith will be able to break Katarina's baka shield in the same way Geordo does: by using actions instead of words, and by just literally finding the courage to take the risk and tell her.

That's where one of the interesting things about hamefura comes into play: one of the reasons why people dislike KeiKata so much is that they feel like the reveal of Keith's feelings would awaken disgust and betrayal in Katarina. Few fanfics of hamefura portray it that way, that Katarina would be weirded out by his feelings and reject them immediately. Maybe it's because Katarina is aware of Keith as not only a sibling, but also as a romance-able character in an otome game (also because of the nature of this series lmao), that in canon, she doesn't take his confession negatively and is flushed/embarrassed by it just like Geordo's confession. I know the "weirded out" reaction is the most realistic, but maybe Katarina also understands that their relationship doesn't have a clear label. They care for each other very much and whether that bond is romantic, familial or friendship isn't something they bothered to really name, maybe? Lmao I don't know, that last bit is just speculation on my part, I can't exactly get into Katarina's head and pinpoint what she thought of Keith's confession.

If I'm being honest, she forgets about Keith's confession more often than she does Geordo, mostly because nothing really changed after he made his feelings clear. I wouldn't say that she dismissed it, it's just that she's forgetting it because in her perspective being loved as a woman and as family by Keith both means that he'll take care of her and shower her with attention (aka no difference).

When I think about how "KeiKata is doing in the novels", for some reason the first thing that comes to my mind is the line "how they treated Geordo in the anime, from a JP perspective". I know that sounds confusing, but what I mean is that a lot of Arc 2 - FL2 scenes with KeiKata is kinda fanservice (aka the thing they tried to do for Geordo in the anime which worked for JP fans but made him hated by the EN fans) (not me trying to insert Geordo in a post about Keith hehe :V). Excluding all the Keith scenes that are coming in Season 2 of the anime and the current arc of the manga, the story really likes to test Keith's self-control when it comes to seeing Katarina as a woman.

Keith's scenes with Katarina aren't necessarily "hot and spicy" by any means, but people nowadays tend to be quite bothered and annoyed at typical japanese romance tropes being played out in modern anime series (such as bed-pining, surprised kisses and kabedons). I mean yeah I'd be bothered too if someone pulled those moves on me in real life, but for the japanese audience this is what their fanservice is like so that's the kind of stuff we'll see in hamefura. Just like Geordo, Keith is given a few scenes where he's put in a romantic spot with Katarina after he confessed, but it always just ends with him backing out and hoping that it at least could remind Katarina of how he sees her (like bed-pinning in LN6 & affectionate touches from Katarina in LN8). A lot of hate towards Keith stems from these scenes because people sees this as a disrespect towards Katarina and the familial relationship they have. These scenes helps reinforce how Keith sees Katarina as a woman and not as a sister, but depending on who you're siding with, you're either gonna be disgusted at Keith or extremely pissed off at Katarina's lack of propriety & density.

Like, people are getting angry at Keith for being a teenage boy who is being bothered by affectionate touches from the girl he likes who is also always approaching him with only a nightgown? I mean blame the author or Keith all you want but at least put some responsibility on Katarina as well :V People are really saying "well, he shouldn't be bot and bothered by it in the first place, they are siblings! that's disgusting!" well again, Keith sees her as a woman and Katarina needs to be aware that she shouldn't be so touchy with the opposite sex regardless if it's family. Keith kinda blames Katarina for the way he feels given how she acts around him despite being unaware of his feelings, which is also the cause of some hatred towards Keith.

People are saying that Keith is dumping *all* the responsibility onto Katarina because she acts in such an affectionate way towards him, but in reality Keith feels really bad & also hates himself for being so attracted to her when she doesn't even know about his feelings. He puts a lot of blame onto himself and thinks he's just as bad as Geordo sometimes (not saying Geordo is bad, more like Keith's "idea of Geordo" being bad lmao). Keith always walks on eggshells around Katarina because he doesn't want to disrespect how he feels about her and how she feels about him. It's just sad to see people hate him for the few moments where his self-control breaks so that he can act on his honest emotion, and accuse him of abusing Katarina's trust :((

Just like Geordo, Keith has made it clear how he feels and strongly desires to pursue her romantically, but his problem of being the step-sibling is still there. I haven't gotten my own copy of JP Volume 10 yet, I feel like I just wanna wait for the EN version instead of using GT, but multiple spoilers have noted that while Keith hasn't made progress in getting approval of his feelings from Katarina's side, he's at least able to get an approval from his family. Well, by that I mean Keith has already confessed his romantic feelings about Katarina to their father Luigi, and he replied by saying that he approves of whoever Katarina chooses for herself. Keith realizes that all he needs to do is get Katarina to return his feelings. When he does, his family wont hate him, but instead he'll be able to love them and be loved in the same, yet different way.

TLDR; a lot has happened to Keith throughout the light novels. He's progressing slowly and steadily just like Geordo, and is leagues ahead compared to the other characters. He has confessed his feelings and got reassurance of his relationship with his parents. Keith and Katarina's relationship itself hasn't really changed though, but it's nice to know that Keith is at least laying the foundations for his hypothetical future with her. Katarina doesn't really think about Keith enough to be able to tell how she feels about his confession or if her opinion on him has changed at all though, so take that as either an L or a W for Keith.

Thank you for the ask! I'm sorry if this isn't as elaborate as you wanted, anon. I like Keith and Katarina but I guess it's because they aren't my bias that I don't pay too much attention to the tiny details of how Keith is written in the books qwq

#mh ask #hamefura #my next life as a villainess #keith claes #katarina claes #keikata #bakarina #destruction flag otome #this could be longer tbh #might edit it when I wake up in the morning

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jasontoddiefor · 3 years

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Title: nothing to mourn or miss Ship: Poker pair Summary: The only thing connecting little Cornelia Walker to Tyki Mikk was the mop of dark hair. A year after his Master's letter had been sent to the Black Order, Allen Walker arrived at their Headquarters, carrying a newborn on his back. AN: I just want trans Allen fanfics. Let’s see where this fanfic will go!

Lavi’s greatest gift had always been his observation skills. Growing up on the streets (in a different city, under another name), he’d had to be clever and aware to ensure he wouldn’t starve to death or be killed. Bookman, of course, had taken the ability to a whole new level, ensuring that Lavi wouldn’t miss even a single detail. Lavi was pretty sure that if there was a way to keep from blinking for the rest of his life, Bookman would force him to learn that as well.

Regardless, his skill was why he knew Krory had to be in the next train wagon. It was the last possible option, given that the vampiric Exorcist hadn’t been in any of the others. The situation, once they found him, was pretty easy to break down. He’d gotten cheated out of his clothes and money by three traveling vagabonds and a sickly-looking child; tuberculosis if Lavi were to guess. They looked rough as if the gentleness was seldom shown to them. From their hands and posture, Lavi deduced they worked in the mines or a similar taxing job.

That was as far as Lavi got with his observation before another one took him by surprise.

“Allen!” the boy shouted and promptly threw himself at said young man.

Here was the thing about Allen Walker: He was lithe in build, small, but he knew how to present himself. Lavi looked at him and knew what he kept hidden, yet it was not a lie because everything about Allen Walker screamed that he was a young man. He’d never said a word about whether he’d learned from his deceased father or his Master, but Allen knew how to navigate society, which social cues to react to or ignore.

Allen often kept people at a distance to keep up appearances and live his life as he wanted. Lavi, personally, was a massive fan of invading people’s personal space. He’d learned to do so early for various reasons, and with time passing, Allen started to allow Lavi in his bubble. But always, he was careful, hesitating, bracing himself for interaction.

And yet, somehow, this protection was disregarded without a second thought. Allen wasn’t taken aback by the boy jumping him but reacted on instinct and caught the boy. Were the child smaller, Lavi would think it was because of Cornelia, but no, the boy was much older than Allen’s daughter.

And here it was, the second clue:

“Eeez!” Allen said. “What are you doing here?”

“Traveling to a new job!” Eeez replied in rapid-fire Portuguese that, had Lavi not spent a year in the country, he wouldn’t have been able to understand a word. “You’re pretty far from your usual roads,” Allen replied only and set the boy down again. “But I see, your cheating habits haven’t changed at all.”

“You’ve always been the worst cheat,” the man towards the right replied, causing the one on the outmost left to laugh in agreement.

The two seemed good-natured if a little tired. They were comfortable around Allen, studied him briefly as if to check he was doing well, eating enough or so. Anyone who knew Allen well enough to greet him so heartedly had to be aware of his metabolism and with this group struggling for money, it was no surprise they worried about food.

But it wasn’t quite the two men or the boy that drew Lavi’s attention.

No, it was the man in the middle.

Thick glasses obscured his eyes, but his hair was curly and dark, the kind that Lavi knew from experience was fun to run your hand through.

How well exactly did Allen Walker know this man and how much did he care to keep such large secrets?

“Are you going to join us, menino?” the man asked. “Your friend has lost a few things, I believe.”

Allen grinned triumphantly, but his hand twitched all the same, betraying his lie. He was nervous, shaken by this confrontation, and were he anyone else, words about little princesses in high towers, bright gray eyes looking up from the Branch Chief’s lap, and bets on milestones would soon spill out of his mouth.

“Allen,” Krory finally spoke up, still sniffling. “Do you know these men?”

“Yes,” Allen replied, shaking himself from stupor. “We traveled together for a while after Master Cross had dumped me. They’re friends.”

Just friends? Lavi wondered. From the looks of it, he was not the only one. The boy, Eeze, narrowed his eyes, glancing between Tyki and Allen. Whatever they had, it hadn’t been that casual. The result was currently crawling around HQ, after all.

“This is Momo, Crack, and Glasses in the middle—”

“You wound me.”

“Is Tyki Mikk.”

Tyki was not a name whose origin Lavi could place easily. He’d assumed that Cornelia had been picked because it was a fairly common British name and sounded well with the small family’s last name.

Cornelia Walker wasn’t even a year old yet, and thus Lavi quietly found himself doing the math. Cross’s letter had announced only Allen’s arrival and been dated about a year before Allen had actually managed to arrive at the Order. He knew that Lenalee thought Allen had been sent to the Order because of Cornelia, so she’d be safe while Allen killed Akuma.

Never mind that nobody expected Cross to be a capable guardian for a newborn. People had been fascinated enough with the fact he’d managed to raise a teenager.

The only thing connecting little Cornelia to Tyki Mikk was the mop of dark hair. Otherwise, she was entirely Allen’s baby, from the pale complexion to the eyes and… Before meeting this Tyki, Lavi had assumed that she had Allen’s nose, but it actually resembled Tyki’s more closely. Still following through with his conclusions, Lavi pretended to be shocked at Allen’s gambling skills, the way he won back Krory’s clothes and dignity before stripping his old friends of theirs.

“Royal Straight Flush,” Allen announced once more with a smile as the others tossed their cards, not at all angry, more amused.

“They’re used to this,” Eeez said, this time in English. It was accentuated but still pretty good. Lavi could hear the same kind of pitter-patter pronunciation Allen sometimes fell back on when he was careless or exhausted. He must have taught the boy how to speak the language. How curious, it spoke for longer exposure to Allen. This definitely added to Lavi’s growing suspicion that Allen hadn’t just taken the long way round to the Order.

As did the fond glances Allen couldn’t keep off his face.

He could have stayed with this group. They were obviously aware of Allen’s status, but they seemed to have no trouble with it. Without needing to pay off his Master’s debt, Allen could earn enough to settle down somewhere. If they stayed near a mining town, the group wouldn’t even have to break up or work in a different branch.

There’d be no little niece for Komui to fuss over or dress up in her father’s absence. The Order would have remained entirely unaware of Allen Walker’s presence until someday along the way, somebody would dig out the one letter Cross had hurriedly written. And by then, they’d have assumed that Allen Walker had died on his way to the Order. Despite the tension of Allen’s shoulder, he was obviously at ease with this group, was at home, whereas he still hadn’t settled completely at the Order.

He could have abandoned the Akuma for them, this odd broken little family, but he hadn’t. The Destroyer of Time had marched on, wrapped his new gift up in cuddly blankets and climbed up a mountain.

Perhaps Lavi should tell him of the Order’s gruesome history, its horrible present. Would the boy have chosen to take his daughter there if he knew what lingered behind the black walls? Lavi had no doubt that if someone else sat in Komui’s office, little Cornelia would be tested weekly for resonance with an Innocence piece given that her father was an Accommodator. Then again, that doll that acted as her babysitter had taken a liking to her and Lavi doubted it was just because of the sentience it possessed.

The train ride passed in relative peace despite the gambling with the miners talking of their travels and Allen returning with stories of his own, carefully modified to leave out any signs of Akuma or his daughter.

He had no intention of telling them.

Lavi’s job was to record history, not to teach it.

He didn’t have to tell them either. Most likely, this encounter would remain a footnote in Allen Walker’s biography.

The odd group had to leave the train before them, and their goodbyes were sweet and kind, warmer and lingering, a farewell that nobody wanted. Eeez hugged Allen once more and Momo and Crack both gave Allen a nudge and tousled his hair fondly.

When it came to Tyki, Lavi paid attention. Accommodator yet or not, someday Cornelia’s history might become relevant, and they’d need all the details.

“Take good care of yourself, menino,” Tyki said, making no move to embrace Allen, touch him in any way. How curious that he’d chosen distance when he so obviously wanted to reach for the opposite. Lavi had seen a hundred stories like this already, how bitter love like this must be.

At moments like this, Lavi was glad that he was forever exempt from such heartbreak.

“I’m not the one always on the road, running off doing odd jobs,” Allen countered with a soft smile, a joke that failed to hide any of the pain. “Take care of yourself as well.”

The group left the train, and it was only as the machine was already departing that Tyki tossed something at Allen, the same playing cards they’d used earlier. Lavi watched quietly as Allen looked through the cards until melancholy turned his lips upwards.

“Hearts this time,” Allen muttered under his breath, likely not meant to be picked up by Lavi’s ears.

He packed the cards into the pocket of his coat and wrapped it tightly around his body as if to keep out the imaginary cold. When Allen looked up, his eyes fixed on Lavi, he seemed torn between determination and desperation.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Allen said, or perhaps ordered. “Please.”

So it hadn’t gone unnoticed that Lavi had uncovered his little secret.

Checking that Krory was still out of earshot, busy carrying their luggage to this empty compartment, Lavi chose to engage. “Why not tell him?”

Allen shrugged, then smiled just a bit pained. “His world is different from ours. They don’t have much cash, so I wouldn’t dump a child on them, and it would be careless to ask Tyki, and the others by extension, to step into the nightmare that is our reality. It’s better this way.”

Lavi hummed in agreement, thinking on the report he’d make to Bookman. Allen Walker, despite his cheerful optimism, could be quite realistic, almost painfully so.

They didn’t tell the families of their Finders about the deceased either.

Ignorance, wounding as it might be, left you with nothing to mourn or miss.

(Later, bound to a chair, the Fourth Apostle screaming at him, Lavi would remember his past assessment and laugh at his naivete.)

#allen walker #tyki mikk #poker pair #dgm #lavi #d gray man #fanfic

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obeiii-mee · 4 years

Note

I am not sure if the request is open- fanfic or headcanon an angst of mc sacrificing her life to return Lilith to them and lilth come back so she told she's only here becuz the mc bought her back how would the demon brother cope with it- it is okay if you don’t want to write it :)

I haven’t written any angst yet on this blog so I don’t really know how this is going to turn out. I don’t know how MC would be able to bring Lilith back so I’ll just figure something out as I write along. It’s hard for me to write the brothers suffering help me-

I want to make it clear that I don’t know if it’s possible for a human to do something like this but for the sake of this request let’s roll with it. Lilith is back and MC sacrificed their life for that to happen. I really don’t think any of the brothers would react well because Lilith and MC aren’t the same person. They love both of them very much but they wouldn’t be able to make one suffer just to bring the other back. All the HCs are related, happening on the same day, in the same way. Lilith reuniting with her brothers one by one starting with Lucifer. Hopefully this makes sense but I don’t really have my way around words so——

This is obviously too long so I won’t be able to write for all the brothers in one post. Instead I’ll write about Lucifer, Mammon and Levi in this one and then continue this on another post. So this is part one. Thanks for the request!

Pt. 2

————————————-

The Brothers Reacting to MC sacrificing themselves to bring Lilith back, Part 1:

Lucifer:

-OK, realistically speaking, it should have been impossible for Lilith to be brought back. She lived as a human and died, that’s it, you can’t reverse something like that. But you really didn’t want to give up, seeing the way the brothers acted whenever the topic of their sister was brought up was too much for you to handle. So you kept looking and searching for spells, magical objects, anything you could get your hands on that could help. You even spoke to Solomon about it in secret, away from Lucifer’s prying ears. You were too determined to be swayed away from the task.

-Of course, after a long time of searching, you found exactly what you were looking for. And of course in order for Lilith to be brought back to life once again, you would have to give something in return; your life. It was a hard pillow to swallow but after hours of arguing back and forth with yourself, you decided to do it. For the sake of all the brothers and their happiness. It wasn’t the quickest of deaths but it definitely didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. And once your soul had officially been diminished, Lilith was given a tangible body and teleported to DevilDom. That also meant that she was completely aware as to why or how and she wasn’t exactly happy. It was an indescribable moment full of misery and despair for her. She was back and her descendant payed the price for it.

-Lucifer didn’t really believe his eyes when he first saw his long dead sister on their couch, supposedly staring at nothing. He first assumed that he was daydreaming which seemed like the most rational option at that point. Due to all the paperwork he had to finish by the end of the week, he had been rather sleep deprived and it made sense that he started hallucinating. After all, Lilith was on his mind quite a lot. But then she noticed him and she sprung into his arms before he could even get a word out. It always used to be like this. Her running straight into him just to show her affection back when they were both angels and happy.

-She was real, not a dream or a fiction of his mind and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He was torn, as if all of his emotions were threatening to come out at once and he didn’t know how to handle that. Lucifer uses logic for every situation he finds himself in, but this time, it was thrown out the window. It didn’t matter why or how or when. All that mattered was that she was here and he got to see her again after all these millenniums of dealing with the slow torture of having to carry the burden of her death by himself. He was ready to go get his brothers, the rest of his dysfunctional family and obviously MC had to come along too, them being just as important to him as everyone else. But Lilith grabbed his sleeve.

-His sister told him everything. Ranging from MC’s sacrifice to her waking up in DevilDom and to her wandering around until she found the House of Lamentation. His brain stopped working the moment the words registered with him as Lilith rambled on with her story. He almost wanted to ask her if she was joking but he knew her better than that; his little sister was never one to joke about something so grave.

-Lucifer always knew that their exchange student was a bit of a nutcase and definitely special in their own way. Considering how often they went to the extremes and overdid every little thing that had to be done. But this...this was something entirely different. They gave up their own life for them, for Lilith to come back and they did this because of him and his siblings. The second time MC had been ripped away from him, without even the satisfaction of saying goodbye because they were way too good for his family and for DevilDom in general. He wanted to scream and cry and curse his father even more so than usual for this cruel turn of events. Any more of this emotional suffering, and his heart may as well stop pulsating. MC died and he couldn’t help them in any way, he couldn’t stop them from making this mistake because he had just gotten over Lilith’s death and had begun to heal from the trauma. And now you left him as well.

-Lilith forced him to sit down and let him deal with his internal breakdown while she thought this out. At this rate her brother was either going to wind up in a blind rage and pop out another Satan or drown himself in depression and anguish. But Lucifer, despite the range of emotions conflicting him on the inside, tried remaining as calm on the outside as possible. Lilith was right there. He shouldn’t cry in front of his sister, he never did. He was always supposed to be the role model, be the strong protector that she could lean on if she needed help. With a single tear running down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away, he got up, abruptly much to the protest of Lilith and began walking toward the door.

-He had to tell his brothers. The news would break every single one of them and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had the responsibility of going to every single one of them and privately discuss this because god knows what chaos would ensue if they were all in a room together with Lilith. He would have to talk to Lord Diavolo, get another exchange student down there but...not yet. Not yet. He had to tell his siblings first. His younger brothers that he swore he would protect with all of his being since he couldn’t do so with Lilith. And now he had to go and break their hearts while his own lay shattered on the floor.

-But first, he was going to go and cry by himself, locked away in his room, so he can regain the power of speaking with everyone properly. And he would just have to accept the fact that MC will forever be stuck in his heart, with no means of getting them out.

-Who would have thought a human like you would stir up these feelings within me?

Mammon:

-It was his fault. It was always his fucking fault. Whenever something bad happened to you, the first person Mammon blamed was himself. How could he not? He was in charge of you after all, he was supposed to be your protector and guardian during your stay in DevilDom. Honestly, at first, he didn’t really care about you. Your whole existence and the fact he had to babysit you was irritating more than anything. But it didn’t take long for him to get attached to you, he fell and he fell fast. Soon enough, he was about ready to just dedicate his entire being to you (and money, we don’t forget about money). You were his human. So how did he fuck it all up?

-That day, he was supposed to be with you. At least one of the brothers had to be with you at all times, per Lucifer’s orders, to make sure you could circulate DevilDom without getting killed. He had one job to do. Follow you around until you got bored and wanted to go home. Then, since you were left with the rest of his brothers, he could go do his thing. But a modelling gig had come up rather abruptly and he had to go get ready for a few shots. Mammon, being a simp great companion and actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for, was really hesitant at first. He didn’t really want to leave you alone and offered to turn the job down. He would never admit it, but his human was way more important.

-However, you insisted it was fine, encouraging him to go and implying you would be alright for an hour by yourself. Besides, you had something to check and would probably be home in no time. He couldn’t really argue back so he reluctantly agreed and left you to your own devices.

-And that was the last time he saw you.

-After his shoot, he couldn’t find you anywhere. Not at home, not in Majolish, not at any of your favourite places. He wasn’t worried at first because he thought you were with one of his siblings. But half an hour later, he was getting panicky and pushing himself over the edge. Sitting alone in his room, pondering on where the fuck you could have been while also debating as to where he should look for you first. He really didn’t want to bring the subject up with Lucifer because he feared his reaction and the possibility he would forbid Mammon from helping him search for you.

-And just as he had conjured up a master plan, Lucifer walked in. With Lilith behind him like it was regular Tuesday night. Her presence wasn’t acknowledged for a few moments, he was too concentrated on Lucifer’s face, scared out of his wits that he found out you were missing and now he was about to face punishment. His older brother didn’t look angry though. Grave and sad, but mostly solemn, like he was holding back. Then it clicked that his loving sister, the one that was supposed to be dead, was standing next to him. Mammon jumped. Physically jumped backwards and fell off the bed in surprise. If there was one thing he disliked more than giving his money away, it would be thinking about Lilith. His memories with her brought him nothing but tears.

-Lilith smiled, in an honest and slightly upset way, seeing her brother’s antics after such a long time made her feel a sort of nolstagia she didn’t think she would miss. Mammon was still staring at her like he’s just been told he had to give all of his money to the witches. He kept switching his gaze between her and Lucifer, as if confirming with him that she wasn’t a ghost while he kept his eyes wide in horror.

-“Stop that Mammon. Your gawking is giving me a headache.” Lucifer snapped, more ferociously than usual which was odd. Mammon thought he looked more tense, rigid but he didn’t push the subject. He wanted to get up, walk up to Lilith and touch her, see if she was real. And then he wanted to hug the living daylights out of her. But he froze on the spot until Lucifer finally managed to spit out that Lilith was, indeed, back. And then Mammon sprinted straight into her arms like a fired bullet, not planning on letting go for a long time. His sister just smiled again, happy to see her needier brother again and to know that despite being a demon now, he hadn’t changed all that much. That moment was sort of euphoric and he grasped onto it for as long as he could.

-Then came the devastating news that would hit Mammon in the gut harder than a moving truck.

-MC was gone. Forever. Forever, forever. Never to be seen again. Gave her entire being up for Lilith to come back to life. Lucifer told him but his eyes and voice seemed to be elsewhere, as if he struggled to show emotion in his voice during his monologue because he was directing those emotions somewhere else. Lilith tightened her grip on him, preparing for a meltdown, or even an angry fit, anything could be expected from this brother of hers in particular.

-Oh there was a meltdown alright. His reaction was immediate. He started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried to and his vision blurred and swayed as if he was drunk and his nails were digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood. Everything felt unstable and he couldn’t take MC’s face out of his mind, like their face was printed onto his brain for keeping purposes. His throat dried up and besides the stream of tears rolling down his face, Mammon started sweating. In the span of a minute, he’s gotten too immeasurably hot and now he was sweating even though he lives in hell and should already be used to this kind of warmth.

-He became unresponsive after that. Not even Lucifer could get through to him. He just sat there, like a broken shell. His brother was speaking to him about things, replacements and a bunch of shit he wasn’t interested in. He didn’t want to hear any of it. He just wanted his human back, even if it meant he had to serve the witches for the rest of eternity. After a while, both of them left. Lucifer giving his shoulder a squeeze, something he hasn’t done in forever but the gesture was somehow comforting. It showed that his older brother was suffering too and he could tell from his voice alone. Lilith hugged him one more time and pecked his cheek and he wanted to grab her hand and keep her there because even though she literally just came back, he needed his sister to stay with him as he went through this. Mammon let them leave.

-He’s more closed off than before. He still steals shit all the time but it’s out of pity for himself more than anything else. He also took a bunch of your belongings too, something to remind him that you existed once. That you had a presence and changed his life and his brothers for the better. Mammon breaks down at the most random of times whenever he’s reminded of you and these sometimes take hours before he finally calms down. Somehow Lilith is the only one who happens to have an effect on him. Her presence at least helps. But not by a lot.

-Stupid human, letting him be an idiot and allowing him to leave you all by yourself. Stupid Mammon for being such a moron and letting the one person that understood him beyond the surface of the Avatar of Greed and actually associated him with being more than just scum, die. Stupid MC, leaving him all alone...

-He just hopes you’ve made it to the Celestial Realm...but seeing as you died in DevilDom, he doubts it.

Levi:

-Levi was sort of used to you showing up late to his gaming sessions. He didn’t blame you really, his brothers were sure to try and grab as much of your attention as possible so it makes sense you forgot about little old him. Except you never did. Sure you came by later than planned, but you always came no matter what so maybe he wasn’t giving you enough credit.

-Maybe he should have tried calling you, or even just texting you to see what you were up to. That’s why he had a D.D.D to begin with after all. But he didn’t. He assumed you were with Mammon or reading with Satan somewhere. Maybe sleeping with the twins. Levi reasoned with himself that you were probably fine and just got caught up on something on the way home. Yet the pit in his stomach kept growing with every minute that passed and before he knew it, he was pacing around the room.

-He heard Mammon having a breakdown from somewhere, and at first, he really had an overwhelming urge to check in with him and see what the problem was. Maybe something happened to MC. Maybe something happened to his older brother. Levi has a dislike for him sure, but he still wouldn’t want Mammon to suffer, no matter how much money he owes him. He didn’t leave his room. He assumed he was crying because the witches were at it again or maybe because he lost all of his money at the casino or even because Lucifer was punishing him for something.

-Then, a knock came on his door and he jumped to his feet faster than he had ever done so before. Password and all long forgotten, he opened the door to his room expecting to see you. Instead, he came face to face with his oldest brother, which disappointed him beyond measure. He was about to mumble something about MC and whether he had seen them at all that day but something stopped him. Behind Lucifer, just barely visible since she is slightly shorter than him, was Lilith. His reaction was definitely interesting.

-“Oh-I....holy crap, this is just like that anime where the protagonist’s dead sister comes back as ghost and starts talking to him. Oh shit, am I going insane or are ghosts are actually real? And not Lilith, Lilith doesn’t deserve to live the rest of eternity as a ghost-“

-“Shut up Levi.”

-“Sorry.”

-Lilith slowly walked out him and hugged him, which debunked Levi’s theory. She wasn’t a ghost! She was real and she was hugging him! He missed her so much, he was actually still doubting the fact that she was back. Levi tried pushing her out of his mind so many times because it hurt too much to think of her and now she was right here in front of him.

-The moment didn’t last though. Lucifer had to interrupt. He himself was shaky, still processing a bunch of things and on top of all that, he had to break his brothers’ spirits. The words came out eventually and Levi’s reaction was a lot slower than Mammon’s. He couldn’t process it as well and it felt like his life was put on pause, like in one of his video games. Lilith was holding him, as a sort of support system but Levi just kind of drifted in another world.

-Sure, he missed his sister dearly. But that didn’t mean he wanted MC’s life to be exchanged with hers. It was such an unfair choice really, making him choose between two people he absolutely adores. Except he didn’t make that choice. You did. And it changed everything.

-Ever since you left, he hasn’t had as much energy in playing games or even watching anime. He can’t find himself sitting for too long, he always has be to pacing and chewing on his fingernails. Everything seemed pointless without you here. Nothing was right. Watching anime by himself wasn’t as enjoyable even though he used to do it for a long time before you even came to DevilDom. He doesn’t have the energy to participate in Ruri chan contests either, though sometimes he makes an effort to. In a way to satisfy himself knowing that you didn’t die for him to mope around all depressed.

-He just sort of lays in his room all day, speaking with Henry 2.0 occasionally or just trying to relax in his bathtub. But it never works. Your voice keeps ringing in his ears. He misses you terribly and his sleeping schedule probably worsened since he can’t sleep now at all, thanks to all the nightmares he gets every night, featuring you of course.

-Out of all the things the world could have taken away from him, it just had to be his Henry didn’t it? Maybe he was just cursed from ever finding a true friend like you....

Hey, yeah I’m not dead. Just been working on this for a while now. This is obviously too long already so I can’t write for all the brothers at once. I’ll do a second post continuing this ask soon but for now I’ve written and edited this for the eldest three. Sorry it took so long and that I only managed three of the brothers. I’m still working on the following four. Thanks for reading! Part 2 should done soon!

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #to be continued #angst #⭐️ requests #🦚 lucifer supremacy #🐡 levi supremacy #💳 mammon supremacy #🌪 angst

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lady-une · 3 years

Text

They Always Leave

This is something I wrote just to process my feelings about a guy. Nothing fanfic related at all. Honestly probably just a pile of emotions horribly written. But if you read it enjoy. It made me cry.

Trigger warning that this does mention drug use but honestly this stuff isn’t a drug.

Loud laughter and music could easily have been heard by anyone who happened to drive by or park near the crazy looking Toyota. For inside the Toyota held three friends, who were just doing their normal Scooby gang shit of smoking and listening to music. Their bellies were full having just engorged themselves on wings, cheese curds, and waffle fries.

The night was setting up to be a normal night for the trio, nothing to crazy. The only thing out of the ordinary was that a special appearance was to be made by a man who once partook in these normal nights. A man who’s laughter lifted one of the girls spirit. A man who did stupid shit all the time just to make people laugh. A man who’s darkness matched Alice’s. He was everything she wanted all rolled up in one stupid motherfucker.

When Alice had first met Caleb he was just some random guy who had tagged along with another guy her best friend had been seeing. Everyone knew of him as alibi, he was just some stupid redneck man. Not at all what Alice was attracted to. Yet the more time she spent with him the more that stupid redneck grew on her. She told herself it was nothing, chalked her emotions up to him just being a challenge. She knew he didn’t like big girls, he preferred his woman small and red headed. It was fine, everyone had their preference in a mate. Hell Alice had her own and this man didn’t hit any requirement.

But something changed. The playful teasing and remarks changed. She started to see him differently. An attraction started to slowly build deep in her gut. Small little hugs became more. Being so close to him that she could feel his breath on her cheek as they spoke silly things to one another about what they were doing. The urge to kiss him started to grow. The day dreams of him professing his attraction started to become recurring. The way he looked at her, it made her second guess everything. Was that smile different? Did he always follow me with his eyes? She started to ask around to see if anyone else had noticed anything or if it was all in her girly imagination. Some said he was just being friendly and a few said he probably had feelings too.

Alice had a way of showing her affection. Some call it a love language but in all honesty it was just childhood trauma and her way of trying to buy affection. To keep someone from leaving, because Alice knew they all left in the end. She had slowly started to gift him things. It started out small, a sex toy since he had been in a two year dry spell. She had taped it up with two containers of gorilla tape. She had joked saying it was to mimic being at a bar and having to work for that piece of ass. Then she had found out his favorite beer. Of course it would be a seasonal one, just like her who had a love of a hard to find seasonal liquor. She checked daily for the beer to come in stock and finally when it did she bought 3 cases knowing it wouldn’t last long but it would put a smile on his face.

For his birthday she had requested the day off work. The idea had formed to drive the hour long drive to his job and tape his truck up with clear wrap and then attach birthday balloons. Then meet him and his friend Greg at the bar for a birthday lunch. There she would give him his gift, a shirt. Nothing extravagant, just one from his favorite online brands that supported the troops. Yet that whole plan had been lost. Gone in an instant. Lies and deceit had caused her to part ways with her once close friend Greg. Caleb was a causality as her best friend had called it. Alice hated it, she didn’t want to part from Caleb.

The birthday shirt had sat days in her room at the end of her bed. Still in the delivery packaging. Alice would have just dropped it off in the bed of his truck had she known his address. Instead after a night of smoking and drinking she had finally texted him. Letting him know she had his gift, letting him know how much she missed him. With the dawn of the next day came sobriety and realization of how stupid she was. Quickly opening the chat she saw he had not seen the messages, this was her chance to right the wrong. With a click of her finger she unsent the messages to Caleb. It wasn’t until later in the day that Caleb had finally opened the chat up and saw that she had unsent the messages and called her out on it.

Alice confessed that she had texted him some stupid ramblings about the boxing match she had seen. A bold face lie but there was no way in hell she would confess her feelings to him sober. Instead she lied and then asked to meet so she could give him his birthday gift early. He had agreed to meet her while she was out with her friends. A quick drive by and it would be fine. Or that’s what Alice had told herself.

The margarita she had in the restaurant had calmed her nerves. The devils lettuce she was smoking had made her even more calm. This would be fine, she repeated her mantra “it’s fine” over and over in her head. A quick in and out.

It wasn’t long before she received the text that he was pulling up and asked where to park. She told him to look for the Yoda mobile and loud music. He replied back with a simple “LOL” and then she heard his loud truck before she saw it. Looking at her friends she smiled before getting out of the car with the gift. Caleb had parked two spots to the left of car and was climbing out of it by the time she reached him. The man wore his standard wranglers and brown boots with his KORN t-shirt and hat.

Alice laughed before nervously saying, “I should have bet on KORN instead of the fuck your feelings shirt.”

“That shirt was dirty, this was the nearest shirt.” Caleb replied with a half smile on his face.

Alice looked up at him trying to decipher what his eyes were possibly saying behind his dark sunglasses. A memory of a time earlier that summer where she yelled at him to take those damn shades off so she can see that he was looking at her while she talked to him popped in her head. To an outsider it would look like she was being mean to him but that was how they were. They would loudly bicker and cuss one another out with a smile on their faces.

“Well now you have a new shirt. Sorry I didn’t get you those jeans you wanted, you know shit just got weird and I felt weird texting you to ask about the jeans.”

“You didn’t have to.” Caleb replied as he took the colorfully bright pink Disney princess bag from Alice’s outstretched hand. He looked at the bag and back to her with a smile.

“Don’t give me that look, I saw it at target and the damn thing screamed ‘Caleb’ so I had to buy it. Now go on and open it!”

Caleb shook his head as he opened the bag up, sifting through the pink and blue tissue paper Alice had stuffed into it. When Caleb finally had the shirt in hand he tossed the princess bag into the bed of his truck and unfolded the shirt to hold it up and inspect it.

“I fucking love it Alice!” He shouted as he looked at the shirt that had bullets in the shape of a hand flicking you off.

“I wasn’t sure if I should get that one or the one with all the fish on it that said size matters. But Greg said to get this one.”

“Well I love it, thank you!”

Caleb opened his arms and Alice fell right into them wrapping her arms around his back and taking comfort in his hold. It had been too long since she got to hold her favorite person. She often dreamt of him holding her and it felt just as good as her dreams.

“Come on Alice, say your goodbyes. He is a casualty.” Yelled out Alice’s best friend from the back of the Toyota affectively killing Alice’s moment with Caleb.

“Casualty?” Caleb asked.

Alice pulled away but held on with just one hand to his KORN shirt, “Just ignore her.”

“Mmmhmm. How are things going with that?” Caleb inquired.

Before Alice could give him an answer her other friend yelled from the driver seat in his Yoda voice “Say your goodbyes and lets go.”

Alice looked from Caleb to her friends in the car and stomped her foot as she yelled “I wanna keep this one!”

The car of friends broke out in a laughter knowing that she was referencing a TikTok they had all seen hundreds of times. They thought she was being funny, they knew she had a crush on Caleb but she had meant it. She didn’t want him to be a casualty. She wanted him to stay in her life.

“You should probably get going, I don’t wanna hold you up.” Caleb said with a slight chuckle.

“I don’t want to. Can’t you stay awhile?” Alice asked looking up at him through her sunglasses. She could feel the tears wanting to come but held them back.

“You know I cant.”

“Please.” She begged.

“I have to get home.”

“Live a little.”

“I do live a lot but just not with you.”

“Same excuse every time.”

“Get going now before they leave your ass.”

Alice grabbed on to his shirt with the other hand. “I don’t want to.”

The tears were welling up inside her eyes, she didn’t know how much longer she could hold off. She hated crying in front of people. She saw it as a weakness. The many years as a child being told to stop crying or she would be given a reason to cry. Then as an adult being told by the man she was seeing that crying was a weakness and that she need to toughen up and that she wasn’t allowed to cry and be weak. She knew it was perfectly fine to cry and it was not a weakness. It was something that she told her kids all the time when they felt sad. That it was normal to cry and that you should cry and work through your emotions. Yet it was something she preached but never practiced herself. She had four kids at home to watch over, she didn’t have time to be weak.

“Thank you for the gift Alice, I really do like it.” Caleb said as he held onto one of her arms.

“I’m glad you do.” The first traitorous tear slip passed her eyes and she knew the instant Caleb saw it because his face lost all playfulness.

“Alice…” he gently called her name.

“I know its stupid. You don’t gotta tell me that. But I know the minute I let go and you get in your truck I wont see you again. All those plans we had will be gone. Who will take me to the gun shop to buy my first gun? Who will make sure that the sales man doesn’t take advantage of me? Who will help me learn to shoot it correctly? Why couldn’t you like me? God I sound like a stupid female right now. But we would have been great together you know. You matched my level of darkness, we matched each other in so many ways.”

“Alice..”

“You know it. They know it. Everyone knows it. Everyone always said that we should just get together but we both would just laugh but deep down I wanted it. God did I want it but you just couldn’t get past that I was a bigger girl. Boy do I feel fucking stupid on an epic proportion right now.”

“Alice everyone has their preference, you always said we were friends because you knew I didn’t like you like that.”

“Of course I did because I didn’t wanna lose you. Better to be friends then not have you in my life. Funny how now I wont even have that.”

The tears were freely falling at this point. Alice could no longer hold her head high, instead she looked down at the ground. She couldn’t look at that stupid face of his, that face that she knew would haunt her dreams for many days to come.

“Alice you will find someone so much better then me. My stupid ass wouldn’t make the best partner for you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Look at me Alice.”

Alice shook her head, how could she look at him she was feeling pathetic at the moment. Crying because a man doesn’t want her. Caleb didn’t give her a chance to wallow in her own misery, he put his new shirt on the side of his truck bed and grabbed her face lifting it up to his. He lifted her sunglasses and looked at her tear stained face.

“Don’t cry Alice.”

“Shut up you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

Caleb took his thumbs and brushed the tears away from her eyes. “I’m not someone to cry about.”

“To me you are.”

“You gotta let me go Alice. Move on. It was fun while it lasted and we will always have our memories.”

“Do they teach you these bullshit excuses when you guys are in school? I swear it’s the same fucking thing just said by a different guy.” Alice yelled angrily through her tears.

“Don’t be mad.”

“Don’t tell me what to feel.”

“Then don’t act like a spoiled brat.”

“Then don’t act like an ass who is un-attracted to fat women.”

“We aren’t going to get anywhere on this. Please don’t be mad and please don’t cry over me.”

Alice knew she was being mad because she was hurt and that she shouldn’t be. She knew she should be enjoying these last few moments with Caleb. With shaky hands Alice reached for Caleb’s sunglasses and lifted them up to see his face. Caleb was an expert at hiding his feelings, years in the military had made him hard.

“Why did you do it Alice?” Caleb quietly asked.

“You act like I did it on purpose. I didn’t plan on falling for you. If you weren’t so fucking perfect and if your darkness didn’t call to mine we would be safe.”

“I’m sorry Alice.”

“Me too Caleb.” Alice whispered as more tears fell down her face and she stood on her tippy toes to give him a chaste kiss at the edge of his lips.

Alice tried to smile through her tears and pulled away allowing him room to get back into his truck. With him seated in his truck Caleb rolled down the window and said goodbye before pulling away. Alice watched as the man she wanted nothing more did what all men do…..leave.

#Emotions #heart ache #broken heart #dating

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ajaxwrites · 3 years

Text

Genshin Impact Fanfic Rec List

(because this is my most current obsession~~)

The Narwhal of Dihua Marsh by GreyLiliy

Childe hears of a strong Adeptus living at the Wangshu Inn. Despite warnings from Zhongli that fighting Xiao would be a deathly mistake, Childe seeks out the Adeptus living in the Dihua Marsh eager for a proper fight.

However, Childe severely underestimates his opponent, and the consequences of his actions may keep him from returning home to Snezhnaya.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This fic is interesting primarily because it's not necessarily what you would call an easy story to read. The content can surprisingly get quite heavy as the relationship between Childe and Zhongli isn't healthy and it becomes increasingly obvious as the story progresses. You swing between wanting to separate the two and also desperately wishing that they'll work out because there is something there. The story snowballs from what seems like an innocuous, if stupid and rash, decision on Childe's part to a complicated mess that you can’t help but be enthralled in. I went in expecting your typical romance and ended up in something that was more complex than I expected but also beautifully thought provoking.

Entirely Out of Spite by Bgtea

"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”

Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.

Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?

Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.

And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Whenever this updates, I squeal. If you’re a fan of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System or just transmigration/reincarnation plots in general, you’re going to love it. Bgtea does a beautiful job in balancing humor with the trauma that comes with the whole reincarnation plotline. The whole of it is beautiful written and watching Childe/Ajax interact with the other characters (and the perspective of those characters) is a delight!

the sister by glassdrachma

The tragic and unexpected death of Zhongli-xiansheng of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor occurred to the sorrow of many and the deep skepticism of a few.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: glassdrachma has a gift for humor and romance. In short, Zhongli fakes his death for plot reasons and comes back as Jianlao, the bereaved twin sister. Shenanigans ensue, featuring overprotective Liyue-ians (?), chaotic gremlin Venti, and Kexing. Very light hearted, good for the soul.

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag

After his little brother is bundled back to Snezhnaya, Childe makes good on his promise to the traveller and takes the first boat out of Liyue Harbor. Any sense of homecoming lasts about as long as an uncooked steak in front of Xiangling, however, when his boat sinks, grounding him back in the mainland.

It's just as well, because the next morning, a body is found in the Northland Bank. A visit from a fellow Harbinger reveals a far more insidious plot than anything Childe could concoct with a god of the vortex and twenty minutes without supervision. The murders aren’t limited to the one Bank. They’ve been trailing down the Liyue border, getting closer and closer to the city. The Tsaritsa has a new mission for him: to figure out who, or what is targeting Fatui forces.

Against his best wishes, Childe is forced to see Zhongli again at the morgue. It becomes clear that he’s going to need a guide, and Childe resolves to quash his pride, and their differences to request his help to navigate Liyue and solve the case.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A diamond in the rough that I slept on and then stumbled back to by accident. I had it marked for later on AO3 and forgot about it for like a good week to my utter self-disgust. It. Is. So. Damn. Good! The mystery is intriguing but I live for the realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the whole gnosis plotline. The betrayal, the bitterness, but ah, the sexual tension. The harbinger interactions in this fic make it gold though.

Lungs full of Roses by SecretlyACatLady

Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident. --- In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.

…Right?

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic that started it all for me, the one that sucked me into the fandom. This fic is heartbreaking. We always do love a hanahaki plotline but something about the way it frames the disease and the shame that comes with it...I highly recommend giving it a read. The angst is real I tell you.

The Bride of The Golden Dragon by Erika_Bee

“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”

The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.

His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”

—

In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.

Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Don’t let the title scare you off--this isn’t one of those fics where they feminize one of the male characters and reduce their personality to a mindless submissive bobblehead to the point that I want to throw my laptop out of the window. Not that there’s anything wrong if you like that kind of thing, just not my cup of tea. This fic though---READ IT! There’s just something refreshing about the writing and the plot, the way that Childe’s character reads off the page. I live for the interactions between the characters and how the author has mapped the relationships. Warning that recent chapters have swerved decided into NSFW territory though.

the brothers grim by izabellwit

Left in an unfamiliar land with a mission he never wanted, a young Kaeya lies, survives, and somehow finds a family in the process.

Or: How Kaeya came to Dawn Winery, and why he left it. Includes lore, sibling bickering, found family struggles, and a more in-depth look at the years between Kaeya’s arrival and Crepus’s death.

Ships: N/A

Notes: Ahh, little Kaeya. Cheeky ass little shit that’s too angsty and adorable for his own good. I don’t have words for this fic. It makes my heart warm but also makes me want to weep because god, this fic covers exactly how traumatic Kaeya’s situation is and why child soldiers/spies just shouldn’t be. And the dynamic he has with Diluc and Crepus--do me a favor and read it. Screams found family.

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A light-hearted, humorous and fluffy as hell piece. Short word is that Venti comes to Liyue for some fun, causes chaos, accidentally plays matchmaker, and steals some vegetables. A get-together fic for Childe and Zhongli that includes a surprisingly self-aware (if blunt and snarky) Zhongli and jealous Childe that gets increasingly flustered.

melt (speak or forever hold your peace) by anatakana

Falling into bed with Diluc was an unbelievably bad idea given their tumultuous shared history, but Kaeya’s impulsive urge to amuse himself knew no bounds.

It’s all fun and games until emotions got involved.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: THIS IS NSFW. With plot though? This is THE FIC that got me shipping the two (though the game did a good job on its own). The angst is real here and we love the sheer gal of both of these two stupid men.

Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble

Kaeya is a fascinating annoyance.

(Or: A series of events in which Albedo gets to know Kaeya, and they slowly go from strangers to acquaintances to something more.)

Ships: Albedo/Kaeya

Notes: Sweet fic. Not my typical ship pairing. Loved the Khaenri’ah mentions. Kaeya is Trans FTM here though it’s only briefly mentioned. There is also an incomplete sequel (as of May 2021) featuring an Overprotective Big Brother Diluc on a warpath giving shovel talks to everyone except apparently Albedo that’s also worth reading.

The Language of Flowers by Jules (Penwyn)

Kaeya Alberich has made a habit of lying—after all, the only truths he’s ever spoken cost him everything—but there are only so many lies a man can tell before the truth comes spilling out.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Hanahaki! Except not! Basically, Kaeya pukes up flowers that say the truth whenever he lies. Cue, angst! Lovely and quick read--love Kaeya’s voice here.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly."

Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-"

Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?"

Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Childe, you idiot. Humorous and funny, very light hearted. Makes you wonder if Childe has an IQ. He’s too busy pining/lovesick to realize that he told his target that he’s going to kill him for his gnosis. Zhongli and Liyue remain confused on how Childe still DOES NOT get it but half-ass hiding his Archon status anyway.

the bird without wings by Anonymous

"Kaeya!" someone yells. Small arms wrap around his waist tightly, red hair spilling out of the ponytail, and Kaeya's heart almost stops.

He's talked his way out of all types of situations. From placating international disputes to buttering up his informants, he's always had a quick response to everything.

But for once, Kaeya is speechless. He stares down at the boy with puffy cheeks, slightly crooked teeth and sparkling bright eyes.

Eight year old Diluc beams back.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Diluc gets de-aged and Kaeya gets angsty. The interactions between the two are heartwarming and will induce tears. Childe makes a brief appearence that *chef’s kiss*

call me "lover boy" by Anonymous

Zhongli turns back, eyes bright with amusement, a stray lilypad still stuck in his hair, and Childe thinks, wow. I want to kiss him stupid.

Childe's not into the whole "swooning maiden patiently waiting for his beloved to swoop down and smooch the daylights out of him" thing. Nah, that's not his style. He's Tartaglia, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers, and he's going to kiss Zhongli right now.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: FUNNY AS HELL. Childe is straight up just trying to plant one on Zhongli but fate and people just keep interfering. It’s a weird trope aversion where the character is actively trying to confess rather than avoiding it but life gets in the way.

springtime in snezh-nya-ya by miaomaomei

Tartaglia’s body moves before he can even think about it. He arches his back and flattens his ears against his head, baring his teeth in a hiss. Considering he barely even reaches Scaramouche's knees — Scaramouche, of all people! The guy is practically the size of a fourteen-year-old — he doubts that he is cutting as imposing a figure as he hopes.

It isn't a surprise, though. No one could become a Fatui Harbinger if they were scared of a little cat.

Tartaglia is turned into a cat and he goes to Zhongli for help. It goes about as well as expected.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS. This is just pure fluff I swear. Love how Childe is written and the interactions between the two are just ahhhh. A balm on the soul.

Melt by tanktrilby

“My name is Diluc,” he says. A scowl naturally furrows his brow, and Kaeya looks like he wants to laugh.

He’s looking at him through his lashes again, blue eyes teasing and warm. “Diluc,” he says. “A knight in overalls isn’t quite where I thought my preferences would lie, but here we are.”

(or: Kaeya loses his memories and makes some assumptions. Diluc can't honestly tell him that he's wrong.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: As the summary says, Kaeya loses his memories. Diluc plays babysitter for plot reasons. Meanwhile, Kaeya freaks out and has an essential crisis because his instincts freak him out which = angst. Simultaneously, sort of love confessions?

you are cordially invited by ktenologious

When the Traveler receives a mysterious invitation from a Snezhnayan businessman, they seek out help from the only Snezhnayan they are on good terms with. They decide it is a wonderful idea to go to this business party in the middle of the ocean because, well, what could be better entertainment than watching a Fatui Harbinger at work? It is too bad Childe couldn't come with them...

Meanwhile, the Tsaritsa needs someone to track down the source of a brand new drug at a party on a cruise; it just so happens that she has two Harbingers who specialize in causing chaos and sinking ships. Scaramouche is a sadist and loves this, and Tartaglia... Well, Tartaglia just wants to know why is he the one in the dress again.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, sort of Diluc/Kaeya & Scaramouche/Childe

Notes: Features a crossdressing Childe and Kaeya for plot reasons. Funny as hell. Love Fatui dynamics/interactions. Highly recommend. Go read it. I’m serious. It’s so beautiful, I can’t. Also Zhongli is so love-sick and jealous, it’s hilarious.

The Road to Snezhnaya by paranoid_fridge

Everything's done and over. Now, Zhongli only needs to adjust to living like an ordinary mortal. Or that is what he thinks until a familiar face shows up in Liyue. Teucer comes looking for his brother who failed to return to Snezhnaya on the Fatui ships. And as Childe's declared "friend", Zhongli must help Teucer find him.

Or: Teucer drags Zhongli on a cross-country goose chase looking for Childe. Zhongli just happens to find a bit more along the way.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I have no words for this fic outside of the fact that it is clear that Teucer has the only functioning brain and should be Best Man because he obviously did all the work here. Features an oblivious Childe and overprotective Zhongli, plus bystander Kaeya that is getting allll of the gossip. And also the most destructive group of children ever.

basket of knives by oronine

“I just want to be loved,” Childe says to himself, to whoever is listening. “Is that too much to ask?”

They are on the roof once more, this time Childe’s foot touches the edge of the building as he daydreams of something that cannot be. The sky is blank and cloudy and perhaps Lumine fears it’ll all end when he takes a step.

“Not at all,” she says. It’s still the truth.

Contrary to popular belief, Childe hates his family but loves them all the same.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TW for suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, etc. Not a light read by any definition. Set in a modern AU, not in the genshin impact universe. Features a Childe that is Not Okay, good friend but also probably traumatized friend Lumine (and her brother Aether), and Zhongli. Family dynamic is messed up as hell and explores mental health quite well in my opinion. I’m not sure how healthy necessarily Childe’s relationships are but I think that’s a given considering the context and how derailed his mental health is in this fic. Definitely angst as heavy, made me tear up quite a bit. Read, but pay attention to the content/trigger warnings as it does get quite explicit.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Ships: Chongyun/Xinqiu

Notes: JFKLFJS I LOVE THIS. I love Chongyun’s characterization and the interaction between all the characters. The dynamic between Chongyun, Xingqiu, and Xiangling are to die for. Also, this line: “Stuck-up Persnickety Bastard.” Random note but Xiao throws Chongyun off a balcony yet is also 100% a softie.

Talks about Nothing by tzitzimeme

In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it, 2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and 3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Venti/Xiao

Notes: The pure judgment that Guizhong unleashes on Zhongli (as well as her sass in general) is pure comedic gold. The dynamic between Xiao and Venti are also adorable. Meanwhile, Childe misunderstands and also just wants to know what the fuck is going on.

xi wangmu by tzitzimeme

Xiangling scales entire mountains to satisfy the palettes of her two pickiest customers.

(Or, two men who are emotionally stunted by their own immortality inadvertantly turn an overly enthusiastic chef into their messenger pigeon.)

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao (?)

Notes: Not sure if it reads romantic exactly, can definitely be read as platonic. The fic boils down to Xiangling trying to expose Xiao to variety because just eating plain almond tofu is a no no. Zhongli gives advice/uses Xiangling as a messenger pigeon. Backstory is explored!

Falling (Fallen) by asinglecrow

It’s only when Childe finds himself in front of Zhongli, a spear protruding from his stomach, that he thinks oh I might have fucked up.

Or: The worst (best) day of Childe's life.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Funny and lighthearted! Gets sort of NSFW with passing mention of mpreg but otherwise, it’s just pure humor/fluff. Get-together fic featuring deadpan dragon Zhongli and Childe that is just done with everything.

the louvre by morisuke

Here in Liyue, the air is filled with the ocean, and the sun shines through the mountains like it’s flowing through a crack in the sky. Here in Liyue, there is a man with no wallet at a vending machine that is going to waste the rest of his day showing a stranger around their school campus for a pocket sized can of iced coffee.

It’s interesting here in Liyue, Childe thinks.

Where Childe flirts with a stranger at a campus vending machine.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Set in a modern/college AU. This is a relatively quiet, soft kind of story. Childe comes to Liyue because reasons and falls in love quietly. It’s more of a snippet of life type of fic that’s sweet and peaceful. Love the change that comes over Childe as he finds a home.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic rec #fanfic rec #rec list #zhongli/childe #childe/zhongli #tartali #diluc/kaeya #luckae #fanfiction #i have very obvious ships i know #not all my recs but a couple of my favorites

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giftofwonder · 3 years

Text

The Tomb (Dabi x f!Reader) Part 1

A/N: So i watched a documentary on ancient Egypt and this happened. I’d love feedback, as I haven’t really posted any fanfics before. Please let me know what you think! This part doesn’t really have any NSFW, but does mention nudity, but other parts will be NSFW.

WARNINGS: contains brief mention of nudity.

You wandered through the tomb, alone and determined. Night had fallen, but your time left here was short. Soon the grant would end, and your funding would be stopped unless you and your team found something soon.

You needed to make a discovery here, and fast. Everyone else had went home to recover from the long day of work, but you were still giddy and restless.

A week prior, your team had discovered the entrance of the tomb. Cheers of joy had erupted from everyone, hoping whatever was inside would be enough for the government to give you just a bit more time and money. A bit longer to work.

You were an archeologist, a decent one too. You had made your share of finds, some small and some bigger, but it didn’t matter to you. The thrill of being the first person to touch something, sometimes after thousands of years, was always worth it. Even if your name was never known, the smallest of finds still spurred you on. It was the history, the knowledge. Like a puzzle where you got to find and place all of the pieces, trying to decipher the past.

That was why you were exploring by yourself at 3 in the morning. One hand held your flashlight, the other gently traced along the sandstone walls. Some areas needed cleaned, dirt and sand piled in over the years, making text and images harder to see.

This tomb was different, you noted. The layout was much larger than what you had come across before. At the entrance, the tomb opened to what looked like a hall. The walls decorated with text, sculptures and scenes.

You could tell a lot about someone from their tomb. The text and images often explained a bit about them, once translated. The statues were so the Gods could recognize who’s tomb it was, so there was no mistake in the afterlife. Sometimes it could reflect an ego as well, if there were many. The scenes are what they would take with them into the afterlife.

This tomb had only one name mentioned. It was carved into every wall countless times. There was only one image, one man, shown. That was the first strange thing you had noted. Normally, family was mentioned and depicted, but this tomb was only him. You were lead to believe that he was alone with no family, which was a bit uncommon, but not unheard of.

The other strange thing is normally tombs were for people who were very great, people to be remembered. A tomb was a lot of effort, and given to those with power, money, or who were found deserving or worthy of a great afterlife. Yet in this tomb, the depictions and what you had translated led you to have more questions than answers.

Who was Dabi?

It mentions him cast aside while young, hurt and sad. His family is not mentioned by name nor shown in images, but you assume they must have played a hand in it.

It leads to him, growing older and becoming powerful. He is feared, but he is not respected. There is some type of group mentioned that he was apart of. A league. They wanted to change society, to walk with the Gods, and to get revenge.

There were a few statues of him carved along the walls. You had stared at them, tracing his features into your mind over and over, hoping to burn an imprint so that they may last forever.

There was only one chamber in the tomb. Usually, there were a few. They were used for family burials, sometimes offerings of what they can take to the afterlife with them. But this tomb only has one. Your team had dug it out during the week, clearing to the bottom, and you had found that it hollowed into another room. The ladder had been left in place, so you had taken tools and climbed down. Now you were exploring the chamber below.

You were the first to enter after probably four thousand years. You saw depictions of gods, the God of Fire, the God of War, and the God of Revenge. From what you could see, Dabi was a man who was bitter, so the question still plagued you...why give him a tomb?

As you walked, you noticed inscriptions talking about beasts of men. Of Godly power and destruction. Of hatred and evil.

The walls had squares carved into them, like a false window, the ledges decorated with images and text you couldn’t quite make out.

You brought your brush and tried to clear it, but the language was unfamiliar. This area was different than the rest of the tomb. Even the energy inside felt suffocating and dark.

You took a sip of water and went deeper.

At the back of the chamber, was a sculpture, a false door. It allowed the dead to go between the afterlife and their tomb, a portal between worlds.

Scenes were depicted around the false door,

The only thing written that you could translate was “I will be amongst the judges.”

The ancients believed that when you past, you would be judged. Your heart would be weighed, and it would decide your fate in the afterlife. If it was balanced, the gods would grant you an enjoyable afterlife. If not, you could be fed to a demon or thrown into a lake of fire.

To place himself with the judges means he has a hand in deciding his fate.

You took note of his statue in the false door. You could tell it was the same man, the features were the same, but it was different. You couldn’t tell what covered him, but there were perhaps bindings around his arms and legs, and on his face as well.

You studied it for a moment before you heard the sounds of movement behind you. You turned quickly, looked back through the tomb, seeing nothing.

Your heart raced and the air felt hotter. Your flashlight danced around the chamber until you were sure there was nothing, and then you turned back to the statue.

The same markings were around it that were on the cut outs in the wall. Your brow furrowed in frustration as your fingers trailed across them.

“Just who are you?” You questioned aloud.

“Dabi.” A deep whisper came from behind. You gasp and turned quickly, seeing nothing at the end of your flashlight, but convinced you could see movement in the shadows surrounding. You took a few steps forward.

“Hello?” You called out, hoping someone from your team had just come to check on you, perhaps playing a joke.

Your voice echoed, but no answer came. Your breath came out heavy, worry brewing in your stomach. Churning. The feeling of needing to leave was growing, as were your fears. You could feel that you were not supposed to be here. You took another step, but heard the movement again, directly behind you.

You turned quickly and froze. The figure was watching you. He stood, back against the wall, right in front of the false door. You took a few steps back, your flashlight moving toward him when his voice came out harsh.

“Don’t.”

You held still. In the dim light, you could see him still. Ink black hair, pale skin that met purple scars. His ears were decorated with piercing as was his nose. He wore a white knee-length linen kilt, that was pleated and belted. It was decorated with gold thread, and a bit of bead work.

He wore chunky gold jewelry that had lapis lazuli and turquoise within it, a necklace, cuff bracelets on his wrists and ankles. His upper arm help a gold band around it. His bare feet held firm on the ground below.

“Who are you?” You asked, your voice cracking.

“You already know that.” He smirked, his blue eyes still vibrant even in the dim light.

“Dabi.” You said, feeling a shudder run through you.

He grinned and took a step toward you, and though you wanted to step back, you were frozen in place by fear.

He stopped directly in front of you, toe to toe. He stared down at you, amusement reflecting in his eyes.

“It’s rude to enter ones tomb without an offering.” He said, his voice holding a slight rasp. His hand lifted to your neck, and your blood ran cold as you felt his hand on your skin.

“This will do.” He said with a sneer as he ripped the chain from your neck. You gasped as your hand flew to your throat, your eyes wide with fear.

“Why have you come?” He asked a few moments later when you remained frozen and silent.

“To...to learn.” You whispered.

“Learn?” He questioned, leering at you.

“To understand. To learn about you. Your tomb has been buried, we found it.” You whispered again.

“Is that so.” He said, his voice low as his hand reached out again. You flinched as it cupped you’re cheek, his fingers gently rubbing across your skin.

“What do you want to know?” He asked, his eyes meeting your gaze and holding them there.

“Everything.” You breathed out. You were frightened and overwhelmed, unsure if maybe you had hit your head on the way down, but even if this might be a dream, you wanted to know more. The quest for knowledge had lead you this far, and he hadn’t killed you yet, so you supposed it wouldn’t hurt to try and get more information. Who better to get it from than the spirit the tomb belongs to.

“Fine. But not here. You will follow me.” He said, and turned back to the wall. He held his hand out to you, and you felt compelled to take it. He pulled you behind him, leading you closer to the false door.

“Wait! I can’t go through, that’s your portal. The living cannot go between worlds.” You said, tugging back on your hand, though his grip didn’t loosen. He pulled you forward once more, through the portal.

Once on the other side, he glanced at you with a grin.

“Someone owed me a favor.” Was his only explanation.

You took in your surroundings. You were in the tomb still, everything looked the same.

“Did we really pass through?” You wondered.

“We did. Come on.” He said and began to walk forward. You followed, not wanting to get left behind, and you were sure that the portal would not allow you through without him.

He led you up and out of the tomb, and finally it sunk in that you were not in your world anymore.

Looking out, where you had always saw desert and some excavation sites, there were buildings and tombs lining, not yet touched by time. Where highways had met city, now there was just trees and sand.

“Get on.” Dabi’s voice called behind you, and you found him atop a camel. He pulled you up onto his lap and you began your journey.

Eventually, you found yourself at a wall, near the entrance to the city. Dabi hopped down and helped you off, then guided you into the city.

People stared at you in awe, but then shrunk back at Dabi’s gaze. Fear in their eyes, you noted, and wondered just what he had done.

You passed markets and shops, homes with families and children playing in the streets.

Everyone was dressed in linen cloths and dresses, it was like you had walked onto a movie set. All of the structures that would be gone when you returned home, standing before you in all of their glory.

You made it to a house, made of mud brick and papyrus, and a limestone gate way. The door to the house was pushed aside and Dabi let you step in first.

It was small, and fairly empty. Two rooms that you could see, the first you had just entered was a living room of sorts. A small wooden table with reed mats and pillows around it. The other a bedroom with a mattress on the floor and woven baskets holding Dabi’s possessions. Small windows were cut out and covered by reed mats. There was a bit of pottery here and there as well.

There was another doorway covered by a hanging reed mat, much like the front of the house, and you assumed it led to the outdoor kitchen area.

There were stairs, one set leading down to the bottom level where crops were usually kept, the other leading up to the roof.

There was incense burning, giving a nice smell to the home. Dabi took a seat at the small table and you walked over and sat across from him.

You were a bit shocked, honestly. Dabi’s tomb was so large, his clothing decorated so nicely that you had been sure he must have been royalty or some higher ranking official. Yet, his home was common. He had more than average, more than the poorest for this time, but he did not have a lot. However, you bit your tongue. The inscriptions of his power and destruction told you it wouldn’t be wise to insult him, and you figured you would get your answers soon.

Dabi leaned against his hand, elbow resting against the table, as he stared at you. You blinked at him and gave a nervous smile and waited for him to speak.

“So you want to know everything about me.” He sighed, his eyes searching yours. You nodded, the small smile never leading your face.

“Please.” You answered back. He grinned.

“Alright, ill tell you whatever you want to know...for a price.”

Your smile faltered, and you felt the same tension as you had felt in the tomb.

“What do you want?” You asked wearily.

“I will ask you for two things. One now, and the other before I return you to the world of the living. If you agree to the first, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But once I tell you, you must do the second thing I ask.” His eyes held a look of mischief.

You swallowed thickly, weighing your options in your mind.

“What is the first thing?” You asked cautiously.

“You’ll stay here with me for two weeks.” He said.

“I can’t! We don’t have much time left, if I don’t get back by the morning, they won’t continue the dig. My men need this, otherwise they will be out of work.” You plead.

“Don’t worry, doll. Time here is...different. When you go back, it will be as if no time has past at all. Time only ticks forward when you are inside the tomb, since that is where it connects to your world.” He said leaning forward.

“What would you have me do while I was here?” You asked, biting your lip.

“I was thinking, I wouldn’t mind getting some information from you, too. You’ll have plenty of time to ask anything you want, I’ll take you into the city and let you explore even. Plus, the afterlife can be lonely, I wouldn’t mind the company.” He winked and you felt your face flush.

“Well, I don’t know about that last part,” you started with a mumble, “but I suppose, I can agree to that...but I want to know the nature of the second request.” You asked, looking at him sternly.

He lifted his hands in defeat,

“It’s not much, in fact, I just want you to find something for me and bring it back to the tomb once you’re back in your world.” He said with a shrug.

You thought it over, this was a gift, really. You have spent your life looking at the past, trying to figure it out, and now you could live it for a few weeks. See things first hand and hear the stories told from the spirits themselves.

“Okay. I’ll do it.” You said with a nod. Dabi grinned, in a way that made your skin crawl, and you wondered if you had made the wrong choice.

“Perfect. Tell you what, we’ll start with your questions over dinner. How about that?” He asked, and you gave a smile and nodded your approval.

“By the way,” he asked, “what is your name?”

“(Y/N)” you answered.

“Alright, (Y/N), just give me a few minutes. I need to grab something. In the meantime, make yourself at home.” He said as he stood and left through the front door.

You waited, but after ten minutes had passed, you stood and went to snoop through his bedroom. Woven baskets lined the walls of the room, filled with clothing and bindings, thin blankets, trinkets and some jewelry (though nowhere near as extravagant as what he wore).

You pulled off your jacket and placed it inside of an empty basket, along with your socks and shoes. You let down your hair that had been pulled up into a ponytail, and leaned back on the mattress. To say it was comfortable would be a lie, and you found yourself missing your bed back home.

The heat of the room lulled you to sleep.

You were pulled from your dreams at the feeling of a warm hand caressing your side. Fingers trailed across the skin of your stomach and up to your ribs, pulling the material of your shirt higher as they danced across you.

You sighed, content, as your eyes slowly fluttered open. Then you jumped up as you saw Dabi kneeling beside you, eyes focused on your body as his hand traced your skin.

“What are you doing?” You snapped at him, blushing as you pulled your shirt back down. Dabi pulled his hand back and crawled closer, his breath fanning against your lips.

“Dinner is ready, and I brought you a gift.” And with that, he pulled back and left the room. You were flustered as you pulled yourself up and rushed to follow. In the sitting room, he held a basket out to you that was filled with cotton fabric.

You took it and inspected it with awe.

“You looked out of place.” He said as an explanation, but you were too excited, smiling at him and holding the basket close to you.

“Thank you! Can I go and put it on now?” You asked eagerly, and he snorted a laugh.

“Yeah, meet me on the roof when you’re done.” He said and walked off to the doorway that led to the kitchen.

You went back into the bedroom and through the door that led to the bathroom. There was no shower, there was only a toilet, a foot bath, and a jug filled with water for hand washing.

You found a stack of clean linen cloths in a basket to the side and wet one with the water from the jug so that you could rinse yourself off.

You pulled a skirt and a sash from the basket. The dress was white with gold threading, much like what Dabi wore. Quickly, you undressed and washed yourself off before you pulled on the skirt. It went from your just below your ankle up to just below your breast, and it had a bit of pleating. You used the sash to tie it in place. The sash was decorated with beautiful blue beading.

Next, you pulled a sheer shawl and wide collar from the basket. You draped the shawl around you so that it covered your breasts, and placed the collar on top. The collar was decorated with more of the blue beading, as well as the same gems Dabi had set in his jewelry.

There were a few gold bangles in the basket as well which you slipped onto your arms.

You still had another four or five dresses and skirts inside of the basket, which you had glanced at, and they were all equally beautiful.

You had looked at garments like these your whole life, but never did you imagine you would be inside of one.

You took the basket and your clothing back into the bedroom and then made your way up to the roof.

Dabi had the food laid out and was sitting on a pillow, waiting for you. When he heard you approaching, he looked you over and grinned, though he stayed silent.

“Well, how do I look?” You asked, beaming.

“Beautiful, doll. But you might want to take a seat before the food gets cold.” He smirked.

You made your way over and sat to eat. You had wine with your dinner, which Dabi was happy to supply you with.

He asked questions first, of the world, his tomb, what you did, how the times had changed. You answered them all, happy to fill him in.

Dabi’s tomb had felt so dark, but here sitting with him, he wasn’t so bad, you decided. He was sarcastic and snarky, but charming in his own way. You still wondered about the elaborate dressing you were both wearing, and why his home didn’t match, but you left those thoughts for later. Soon the food was finished, the wine jug was empty, and Dabi lead your drunken self back into the house and to the bedroom.

“In the morning, Well go to the bathhouse.” He said, pulling off his jewelry and setting them inside a basket. You hummed and did the same, reaching for your basket to find a simple tunic to wear to bed.

Dabi grabbed the blanket off of the mattress and threw it over him as he laid down. You stood to go to the bathroom to change but stumbled trying to get up. Dabi laughed at you as he watched your failed attempt to stand, making jabs at you under his breath when you had instantly plopped back down onto the mattress. He sat up behind you as you huffed, his hands reaching around you to untie your sash and skirt. The collar and shawl had already been discarded, but with the alcohol flowing in your system, you found it hard to remember exactly when that had happened. Your skirt pooled under you as the cold night air danced on your skin. Dabi was warm against your back, and you relaxed into him subconsciously.

He lifted you up enough to pull the fabric out from beneath you and tossed it to the corner of the room. The tunic laying forgotten at your feet as he pulled you back into the bed to lay beside him. The blanket was thrown over you and Dabi’s arms held you close to him. You relaxed into him and fell asleep quickly. __________________________________________

You glanced up at him to find him still asleep, so you allowed yourself to take in his features. He was attractive, and his presence screamed power, though you had yet to see him display it.

Your hand slowly lifted so you could gently trail your fingers across the soft skin of his cheek to the scarring on his jaw. His eyes flew open as his hand quickly snatched yours, pulling it from his face. His eyes were wild, until he registered that it was only you, and you saw him visibly relax. He breathed out a sigh and leaned back, the hand on your back rubbing small circles. The early morning was still fairly cool, and you felt yourself being pulled in by the heat that radiated from him. Soon your cheek was back onto his chest.

“It’s strange, you have a heartbeat even though you’ve died.” You said.

“I’ll live forever here. When I died, it just took me to the next place.” He said with a shrug.

“How did you die?” You asked quietly.

“That’s the end of the story, how about after we bathe I start from the beginning instead.”

You sighed, but nodded, lifting yourself up. The blanket fell and you noticed your nudity and quickly pulled the blanket back up to your chest.

Dabi regarded you with both confusion and amusement.

“What are you doing, doll?” He asked with a light chuckle.

“Covering up, what does it look like?” You spat back flustered.

He laughed, then raised himself up and climbed off the mattress, much less embarrassed by his state of undress.

“So what, do you just pull girls to the afterlife and woo them to bed with you?” You mumbled, picking up your discarded dress from the night before.

“No, it would seem that you’re the first.” He laughed.

#dabi x y/n #dabi my hero academia #bnha dabi #mha dabi #dabi x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #dabi #dabi au #dabi boku no hero academia #dabi fanfic #dabi is touya #dabi is a todoroki #dabi league of villains #dabi smut #dabi x you #dabi x female reader #The Tomb (Dabi x f!Reader)

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audreycritter · 3 years

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IDK if you take asks from the woodwork so feel free to disregard, but this is prompted by your recent Arkham post. You mention video games and it made me think of the Arkham Asylum game. I really like your point about how games are organized towards the player’s interests—hitting stuff— but you also talk about how Arkham is a place of incredible nuance that (imo) can be both horror and ideally healing at the same time, and I guess I was just curious about your thoughts on the Arkham game(s) and their place in Bat-mythos, especially given they did try to thread some needle of “how do we bring Batman into a real(ish) world and all that may mean.” It was an exploration of the Asylum as a place with an intrinsic character, which I personally hadn’t really seen before save for maybe Serious House Serious Earth, but I was curious if you had thoughts/opinions you wanted to share. Love your blog, and have a great day!

I don't mind asks!

I haven't played MUCH of the Arkham games, and I'm not opposed to them. I like the horror concept of Arkham having its own kind of identity, or Arkham as a character.

But I am gonna stop you right there (kindly, gently). The Arkham games have their own stories-- some of them engaging, I'm sure-- but it's still fundamentally a video game. Video games aren't inherently violent, but the Arkham series is by design about being able to do lots of cool fighting. That's totally fine! Its fun! But we have to be really careful in engaging with media to not make the mistaken correlation between grimdark and realistic.

Good character models and emotional stories don't even make something realistic. It's a thing that comics, games, and movies have struggled with for a long time, and not just in Batman canon, but Batman canon does suffer pretty significantly. The Arkham games are in no way about a meaningful engagement with reality or what Batman would look like in the real world. We might be able to draw on some interactions and further explore those as fans in a way that connects closer to reality, but it's not at all the real world.

My guess is that a nuanced, realistic exploration of Arkham would be difficult to pull off because the actual daily grind of mental health care in institutions holding highly violent offenders is ... a grind. It's a lot of doing the same thing over and over for small returns, because it's hard for people to change. It's a lot of small victories other people don't understand the scope of, because just walking down a hallway and being civil can be a huge accomplishment for someone who actually tends toward the kind of social disconnect rogues are often written to have. It's a lot of disappointing setbacks, and if you hype up the drama of any of those things, it's going to feel exploitative. Personally, I'd like to read it? I'm sure lots of other people would enjoy it, too. But it wouldn't be the kind of high energy drama that people are drawn to in comics, and treating it with too much realism makes the world fall apart in other ways.

Within the constraints of the universe, the rogues aren't real. We've had good and bad media that's tackled the idea of criminality and mental illness, and I don't think that's a bad thing to try to deal with sometimes? But overall part of the conceit of comic-media (and its derived forms like film and game) is that we actually understand that the rogues aren't mentally ill, not in any realistic application of clinical terms. They aren't real. They're themey symbols of different kinds of evil or corruption or selfishness, designed to be cycled through struggles with The Hero, because readers find comfort in the familiar. And to do that, we need a holding tank for them so comics aren't accidentally implying they just rule Gotham when Batman isn't chasing them.

In a story that engaged with Arkham realistically, he'd put most of them in once and they'd never get out again. The few that did get out would maybe get out once or twice, tops-- years and years apart. There might be an outlier, but most of them aren't escape artists. The problem is, nobody really wants a realistic Arkham unless it's in a closed short story form, because a functional Arkham would break the narrative cycle. Fandom just ends up making the mistake of holding Batman as a character responsible for the narrative function of his own world-- they want to treat him as a failed hero for not correcting the things about his world that make the stories keep happening. Like, yeah, he could kill the Joker-- then what? Nobody writes the Joker ever again? That didn't work the last time he died.

He could "fix" Arkham somehow. Then what? The entire rogue gallery is permanently retired and a few of them "recover?" That maybe makes a great epilogue but it doesn't support ongoing stories, and then the second someone is used in a story again, it's somehow Bruce's fault for the narrative requirements of the fiction he's a character in?

Part of being a comics fan-- specifically a comic fan of an intellectual property that's been around for decades-- is understanding that we don't get final resolution. When LOTR ends, the story is over. We don't watch canon make Frodo & Co destroy the ring over and over in hundreds of different ways. Fanfic might explore alternatives, but canon has given us resolution to the plot. Batman doesn't get that in most media because Batman isn't ever over. And I think sometimes fans (and writers, ngl) make the mistake of trying to hold Batman as a character responsible for the cyclical nature of his own media, and the things we see as "problems" because we instinctively want resolution in a landscape that doesn't have it.

Anyway, I think I went off on a tangent. I don't mind the Arkham games, but they're just a another entry in a long line of media that likes playing with Arkham as a horror concept.

#batman #meta #asks

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