the-healing-mindset · a day ago
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One thing that I have learned is that a great part of my healing is going to consist of learning how to be around people while also maintaining my personhood and self-identity, something that was not extended to me for most of my life growing up. As Dr. Doyle mentions, it sucks, but it is something that I know will be necessary if I want to feel like a person who is capable of establishing and maintaining healthy connections.
Source: Facebook
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the-joy-of-knowledge · 2 days ago
Feeling overwhelmed?
As many of us begin our end of the year reflection, there is a sense of dissatisfaction we feel because we did not accomplish our goals -getting straight As, losing weight, making new friends, travelling, or getting a new job. It is normal to feel overwhelmed but it doesn't help. Here is what helps me:
Writing down all the things I have accomplished both big and small: I got into two organizations in school, my public speaking skills has improved, I saved more money, I made new connections, I started my blog on Tumblr, I optimized my LinkedIn, and I procrastinated less.
Writing down things I did not accomplish: I did not make the trip to New York this summer, I did not get a summer internship in that firm, and I did not start a business
Writing down why I did not accomplish the goals: I was afraid of travelling solo, I had no strong reason to start a business, the internship was very competitive, I spent too much time planning not doing, and I did not make SMART goals
Writing down my strategy for the goals I did not accomplish: I don't think I want to take the business route just yet. I will be more intentional and prepared for future jobs/internships, I will cold email more people, network with people within my industry, and I will be getting tickets to New York before spring break.
Making a list of 3 achievable goals I can accomplish to boost your confidence: Decluttering, reading two books in December, and going on a one week detox.
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thatsbelievable · a day ago
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loveyourlovelysoul · 2 hours ago
Childhood neglect and abandonment may show up in different ways in us. We may realize we find it hard to watch movies in which caregivers show up for their child in ways we couldn't experience; we try to overwork for others and show how good and worthy and helpful we are so that they won't leave us (we feel unlovable or unworthy in first place); we have troubles setting boundaries, even s3xual ones, cause we fear disappointing the other (we second guess our own feelings and voice); we overshare very soon in our relationships about our tough experiences (and rarely exaggerate them too) in order to have the other feel sorry about what happened to us and care for us; we label ourselves as too needy, too much, too damaged cause we believe nobody will ever love us, and what many people experience in their romantic life will never happen to us; to cope with our pain, we may start fantasizing about being saved from danger or just be surrounded by people that care for us the way we want them to.
We may end up believing these past painful experiences are the only possible life for us and become disconnected and emotionally unstable, even if the truth is that we're worthy of healthy relationships and love, and what we had to go through wasn't our fault. We're so much more than what we were made to believe, we're deserving of people staying and showing up for us (and we should allow ourselves to experience that too, without trying to -unwillingly- manipulate others into doing that).
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philosophybits · a day ago
The memory has as many moods as the temper, and shifts its scenery like a diorama.
George Eliot, Middlemarch
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novelist-becca · 2 days ago
Reminder that everyone copes with and reacts to loss differently.
Just because a person is acting happy right after something tragic happened, doesn’t mean they’re “over it” or “happy so quickly”.
For all you know, they could be forcing that smile.
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happiness-is-a-moth · 23 hours ago
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via we’re not really strangers
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mockingbird-l · a day ago
That hits different 🥺
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perfusio · a day ago
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Some redraw for funsies, 1.0 Nami is kind of pissed.
I'm on a strike, baby!
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mentalquotes · 7 months ago
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lyralit · 5 months ago
show, don't tell:
anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking
frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping
sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps
happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking
boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails
fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands
disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm
tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile
confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions
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morthern · a month ago
Check out this visual gem i found in between two episodes of an anime OVA i was watching.
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expressionist-hira · 3 months ago
I have learned that love can grow without sex, and that sex does not always lead to love.
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thatsbelievable · 16 hours ago
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loveyourlovelysoul · a month ago
Accept that you still feel upset about how you were treated, and allow that feeling to pass through you. You don't have to pretend it's not there. You don't have to pretend to forgive the other person if you don't feel so. You can still feel hurt even if years have passed. It's valid, especially if you swept your feelings under the rug back in the days. Find your way to accept the pain, grieve, and let it be in the past where it belongs. Free yourself from these chains. From your fears. From what has been. Life changes. It brings you lessons, but also rewards (and often both are in the form of very different people). Be open to the latter now.
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heavnlylust · 4 months ago
“And in the middle of my chaos, there was you.”
Source: Unknown
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