#I can still get into it by typing inbox after the / but how fucking annoying is that
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If you send me an ask, it might take a while to see it because my inbox has fucking vanished.
#🌈 || ooc#;; delete later#I can still get into it by typing inbox after the / but how fucking annoying is that#Especially right after they brought back the lovely numbers letting you know how many you have#I'm so annoyed and upset lol#Got a couple of asks to do and I might have the energy for one draft#Thanks for being patient with my slack ass and hope you're all havinga lovely Bank Holiday Monday if you're also in the UK#Ordering chinese for the family!#I also kind of want to draw again#Just feel like body horror you know?
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it was all supposed to be a dumb joke.
the boys had been sitting around after rehearsal one night passing a bowl and more than a few beers, laughing about how unsuccessful the newest music based social media app would be. mere seconds of songs looping over and over with other songs mixed in would never work, especially for corroded coffin where the story, the buildup of their songs was part of the reason to listen.
it all started with jeff, grinning slowly ear to ear. "what if were to get in there and take some celebrity's name for a user name? like paris hilton or something."
then it moved to gareth, who paused with a scrunched up face. "dude, paris hilton? what the fuck kind of reference is that..."
then it was over to greg, choking on a smoke-laced laugh. "yeah, it'd be funnier if it was eddie's pop prince loverboy instead."
that got everyone's attention. eddie had protested to ears that didn't want to hear it as they cackled in their studio that they rented by the hour, bent over in their rolling chairs, leaning against the side of the mixing board for support.
"loverboy?! you know i can't stand steve harrington and his bullshit lyrics, what the fuck kind of suggestion is that..."
but come the next day, when the weed had left his system and his veins were alcohol-free, eddie stared at the mixr app home screen and the blinking red circle over his inbox with disdain after successfully acquiring a user name he never would have picked for himself.
'steveharrington', eddie's account says, along with an icon of himself and his tongue out.
if it hadn't been for being less than sober when the app dropped. if it hadn't been for his best friends egging him on with taunts and jeers and kissy noises and less than sincere dreamy calls of 'oh steve' in the background. if it hadn't been for the way that eddie secretly did think about a certain head of floppy hair and soft brown eyes and shoulders littered with constellations.
if it hadn't been for all of that he wouldn't have had the chance to have his celebrity crush, the steve harrington, in his inbox at 8am on a random tuesday morning.
"good morning!" the message says simply enough. eddie stares at the words, trying to process what they mean, looking at the verified username of 'steveharrington1' next to an icon of his most recent album along with it. his inbox is flooded with people all asking him random things, thinking he's the real steve harrington, but this one verified account has him shaking.
for all that eddie is, all big hair and black jeans and skull rings and leather, he's still a man. a man who can look at a pop star, annoying as their music may be, and see charm. he can see attractiveness. he can see that smile that steve harrington has perfected behind his eyelids and he can see them strolling off into the sunset together hand in hand and he can see steve all flushed and breathing heavily underneath him on a mountain of plush pillows and he can see-
the message pings again with a new addition. "i know this seems weird and my team advised against it but i'd really like your user name of... well, my name."
eddie blinks slowly. he pictures steve maybe laying in bed, maybe sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, with his phone in his hand as he types out a message to him. to think that steve has any idea about him existing on any sort of level is doing his head in. his heartbeat races a little faster as he types back with shaky hands and a pit in his stomach.
"is this real?" is all he can type out, leaning against the kitchen counter as he waits for his coffee to brew.
three dots pull up on the app screen before disappearing and eddie pulls his lip in between his teeth to focus his energy elsewhere. he tears his eyes away from his phone and looks out the window to watch the people out for their morning walks. he's just about to the point where he thinks about maybe taking up walking if nothing else to get all the pent up energy out of him when the app dings again. as he looks back, his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.
it's a photo of steve that can't have been released before. he's sitting outside in bright sunshine with sunglasses on, tousled hair and grin on his face. he's holding his hand up in a thumbs up and eddie can see the remnants of cream cheese on the side of his index finger.
he sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, trying to force his lungs to breath again. the dots pop up on screen once more and the message that comes through is instantaneous.
"real enough for you?" it reads. and then an additional message is tacked on. "need me to hold up a newspaper with the date on it?"
there's a winky face that follows and it feels fake even though it's very real. this whole morning feels wrong, unreal. he's just eddie munson, some singer in some halfway popular band in some kind of shitty neighborhood in los angeles that just happens to have not just some pop star in his dms. this doesn't happen to him.
"why did your team tell you not to message me? does my reputation precede me?"
eddie pulls his hand up to his mouth to bite at the side of his fingernail, watching the screen with rapt attention and waiting for the typing dots to disappear.
"according to this account your name is steve harrington and yes, i'd say his reputation does precede him."
eddie barks out a laugh, not exactly expecting that.
he didn't know what he was expecting out of any of this. he thought that it might help get the corroded coffin name out more if he got tangled up somehow with the steve harrington name. spark a little bit of drama to boost their visibility. but now here he is, talking to the man himself, cracking jokes and trying not to hyperventilate.
"how were you able to get this name so fast anyway? my team was on it right when the app dropped last night."
"i had the power of bandmates and weed on my side," he types back, side of his mouth quirking up into a smile.
"oh so you're a musician? maybe i should be looking into your reputation then, mystery person."
eddie pauses and thinks about every option. he is semi-known in the metal scene, his outlandish stunts on stage and political speeches at shows that garner them becoming an almost brand for him. if he tells steve who he is, would he know? care? run away from the scary guy who may or may not use stage blood in every music video?
but the thing is, he's not a scary guy and he never has been. he might be a little intimidating and he guesses that's the armor he puts on everyday after being bullied in school but it's not an accurate showing of who he is. eddie is sweet, funny, kind of smart in that has random fun facts about dungeons and dragons kind of way.
and he wants the steve harrington to know that guy.
eddie flips over at his middle so his head is nearly touching the floor and ruffles his hair, giving it volume and calming down the frizz that comes from sleep. he shakes it out of his face once he's upright and grabs his garfield coffee mug if only to have something to do with his hands. grabbing his phone off the counter, he opens the camera option in their message thread and snaps a quick picture of himself grinning, mug next to his face with a matching cat-like smirk. he nervously presses send before he can even think about all the flaws with it.
"eddie munson at your service," is what he types out with a saluting emoji and a muttered prayer to whoever would listen to him that things don't end horribly.
it's not like he's expecting to sweep steve off his feet. he knows that steve has picture perfect partners, he sees enough internet news to know that gruff and dark isn't the kind of guy he normally goes for. but he looks back at the photo he sent and hopes that steve sees the kindness in his eyes, the scruff on his jawline that makes it look just the smallest bit chiseled, the whimsy and life that he embodies that comes from a tacky coffee cup.
there isn't an automatic answer and it makes whatever hope eddie has floating around his system falter. ''at this point you've probably searched me and i can reassure you, i'm not actually a vampire like google seems to think i am."
"holy shit."
it's short, two words followed by typing dots that disappear, reappear, disappear once more before reappearing for the last time.
"would you believe me if i told you that i am huge fan??"
choking on coffee hurts, eddie finds out. he coughs as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe and concentrates on the messages once he gets his bearings back. steve, the steve harrington, a fan of his? it's a prank, it has to be, there is no way that steve harrington-
"one of my exes took me to your show at the bowl and it quite possibly changed my life. you gave that speech about the pipeline before the encore and i went home and bought every single one of your albums that same night."
he's dead. the papers will read 'eddie munson found dead in his home in a ratty metallica shirt holding onto a garfield coffee mug and cellphone open to a chat where steve harrington tells him he's a fan of his work'. it's the only way that this is possibly happening. he's died and gone to whatever fucked up version of heaven has him still living in his shitty la apartment.
"are you fucking kidding me?" is what he types back, slamming his coffee mug onto the counter to have access to both hands. "you've heard my stuff?"
and then it happens, like out of a shitty teenage rom-com, his phone is lighting up with an in-app call from steve harrington. the steve harrington. careful not to drop his phone in his hurried movements, he presses accept faster than he thinks his fingers have every worked.
"hello?" he questions into the phone and there's no hello back, just steve apparently freaking out as much as he is.
"i hope this is okay," he says and god, does his voice sound wonderful over the phone like this. "but it's faster and i have too many things to say that typing it all out would be stupid."
eddie grins and his feet tap against the ground like an excited kid. "it's fine, i uhm... i get it. god, this is weird."
steve hums in agreement before laughing. and oh, that laugh. it has eddie floating up to cloud nine, heart thumping painfully in his chest, butterflies beating their wings wildly in his stomach.
"yeah, it's definitely not how i expected this morning to go. talking to eddie munson, wow."
"sure," eddie snorts, "you talk to celebrities all the time, i'm sure this is small fish for you."
he hears steve laugh again, soft and gentle, like it's meant just for eddie. "i might talk to celebrities all the times but not ones that i have posters on my wall of like a pre-teen. i'm properly geeking out right now."
eddie short circuits. that's the only way to explain the way his body shuts down as he slumps into an armchair in the living room.
"you, steve harrington, have posters of me on your bedroom wall?" eddie's mouth feels dry as he talks and regrets making coffee at all because he's wide awake now and feels jittery.
"well okay, to be fair, it's of the whole band and it's in my studio but you are shirtless so i contemplated putting it in my bedroom." something shifts on the other end of the line and it sounds like steve sitting down. there's birds chirping in the background and eddie closes his eyes to picture himself sitting with steve on a patio instead of in his dingy apartment.
"you're gonna give me big head, pretty boy." the pet name slips out before he can stop it and the pitch of his voice lowering is out of his control. eddie can't be held responsible for his actions at 8am especially when he's flirting over the phone with his celebrity crush.
"pretty boy, hmm?" steve murmurs back. "so does that mean you have posters of me too?"
the timbre of his voice shoots from eddie's ears all the way down to his toes, lighting his veins on fire as it travels down his body. the hopeful part of his brain supplies an image of steve smirking, relaxing in a pool chair outside of what must be a mansion, phone in one hand and cup of coffee in the other. it could be domestic, if eddie thinks about it hard enough. if he wants it enough.
and god, does he want that. domestic bliss with steve harrington.
"well i wouldn't exactly call picturing you in my dreams every night posters, but it's close enough i guess."
it's gutsy, it's brash, it's too forward for a tuesday morning but steve started it. he hears a shaky exhale on the other end of the line and lets out a chuckle. it feels like they're playing chess and there's no clear cut winner quite yet but if the match ends in a tie, eddie can't exactly say he'd be upset about it.
"i tell you what," steve says in an almost airy voice. "in exchange for giving me my user name, i'll give you my number and you can use it to see me in something other than your dreams tonight."
"...are you bribing me, harrington?"
"is it working?"
eddie takes in a deep breath and thinks about what possible plans he could have with the username 'steveharrington' that would amount to something better than taking the man himself out on a date with his phone number saved as a contact in his phone. he'd put a heart next to it and everything.
"of course it is."
the call drops away and it's quick enough for eddie to think everything that happened in the last 30 minutes could have been a fever dream but then there's three dots on the message thread and his hopeful heart starts to kick back into gear.
"213-555-5469. let me know when you've given up that username and i'll let you know when to pick me up. it's a win-win all around. turns out we each get to go a date with our celebrity crushes, how lucky is that?"
it's signed with a kissing face emoji and eddie's glad that he's sitting down when the last picture steve sends comes through. he's grinning in a way eddie's never seen before, blush high on his cheeks, sweaty shoulders and collarbones and pecs glinting in the early morning sun, and eddie thinks it's probably too early to be in love with someone but he's well on his way.
he texts the number he's sent without hesitation and without shaking hands this time. he signs the message with a black heart like it's a signature of it's own.
"lucky indeed."
#wow this got SO much longer than intended why does this always happen why can i not just shut up#anyway i've been trying to figure out how to write this for a week so enjoy#steddie#steddie drabble#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#my writing#steddie headcanon#popstar steve harrington#rockstar eddie munson#modern au
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Thinking bout skz chains dangling in your face while they fuck you backstage after a concert all sweaty and riled up-
OMG OMG OMG THEYD GET SO COCKY TOO ARE YOU KIDDING???
thoughts are being thought 🤭
okay so MTL to get turned on by this and then i’m going to discuss this
most
jeongin
bang chan
lee know
han
changbin
seungmin
hyunjin
felix
least
jeongin - i stated this multiple times: he’s a freak. and i feel like he’d love to have you on top of a desk in the dressing room and he’d be between your legs, fucking your as hard as he can. he’s still got sooo much adrenaline from the show and would love to take it out on you. he’d love to make his chain dangle as much as possible bc it means he’s fucking you soooo hard until you’re a babbling mess and he’d be so cocky about it lmao, saying something like “am i fucking you so good you can’t speak? aw, jagi”;
bang chan - would love it (and i’m not just saying that cause he’s the loml), seriously. i’m convinced that the man would go absolutely feral if he saw you put the chain in your mouth as he fucks you, biting it with your teeth as he pounds into you ( i’m convinced he has a corruption kink and it’d drive him absolutely crazy to see his sweet, shy girlfriend turn a bit slutty because of him, but how could you not?). i think it’d happen in the dressing room, perhaps on the couch. he’d be between your legs as soon as he gets off the stage ngl!!!;
lee know - okay hear me out *clears throat* i have a feeling he likes it rough. so. rough sex + backstage + chains? you’re gonna be soooo sore lmao. that’s all i have to say;
hanji - would fuck you so hard the only thing you’d hear would be the sound of his chains zbahxheuwibduwgqyzgqywndjgahsq would snatch your hand away if you tried to put it on his chest to stop the chains from dangling lol;
changbin - i feel like he’d be slightly embarrassed to go at it backstage yk BUT if he’s hyped up enough he’d definitely be down for it. binnie with chains AND a tank top (black, perhaps? 😇)??? all sweaty too??? where do i sign??? you’d ask him to take it off though, just to see those chains on those beautiful pecs 🤤 (GOING FERAL 👹). omg would absolutely cum on the spot if you licked the sweat off his pecs and sucked on his tits avzhbahwvwgcqcwvs 👹👹👹;
seungmin - i kinda get the feeling that he’d be pretty neutral about it, he’d fuck you rough and hard regardless of the chains chavagvzhabwb especially after the show omg wouldn’t even get you naked, he’d just lift your skirt or dress or pull your jeans down your thighs and fuck you right there. i’m gonna have to be honest right now and confess that the seungmin that popped up in my mind is the one wearing a suit and sunglasses, yk? i know he wasn’t wearing a chain but just imagine - him with the shirt slightly unbottoned allowing a thick, silver chain to be half-seen?? would probably chuckle and call you his “desperate slut” when you rip his shirt open whzhsvwvqgvsvs 👹👹👹;
hyunjin - i feel like he’s be pretty annoyed by the sounds don’t ask me why 🥹 but maaaaaaybe it could work if you fidgeted with the chains as he fucks you, yk?;
felix - i HAD to put him last, i mean, have you seen the lv commercial? how the sound of the charms of the bracelets annoyed him? let’s be real, it’d drive him crazy and he’d probably take the chains off asap lol BUT still dick you down like you deserve nonetheless;
chaotic as per usual, bare with me babes ♡
-> my inbox is always open for requests and hard thoughts (or just thoughts, yk), just tap on the “💌” emoji and type away! [also, anon list is open!!!] ♡
-> reblog to support my works if you like them, “it’s good for motivation” my man chris bang once said ♡
#📨: anon#hard thoughts#skz mtl#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours#bang chan hard thoughts#lee felix hard thoughts#han jisung hard thoughts#seo changbin hard thoughts#stray kids smut#skz smut#hwang hyunjin hard thoughts#kim seungmin hard thoughts#lee know hard thoughts#stray kids drabbles#stray kids masterlist#skz#stray kids#skz masterlist#stray kids fic#stray kids fanfic
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GIRLIE HAVE I TOLD YOU MY GYU HEADCANON YET???
i genuinely 100% believe he's into girls that are mean to him lmao he likes the chase, likes winning them over,, he's the type to end up obsessed over one specific girl thats just a BITCH to him and he's like "oh yeah she wants me" every time she calls him an asshole and a creep lmao
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO RIGHTTT omg i always giggle when you’re in my inbox TT.. your thoughts always turn into a little one shot and i always find time for them tee hee
anyways thought this’d be the perfect time to use the back for more mv AND back for more. it works it works!
back for more ♥ c.bg
warnings : fem reader( who’s kinda meanie 😊) not proofread as always, lowkey perv gyu… but other then that not really suggestive at all! however, always lmk if you think i should add ♥
choi beomgyu. the name meant a lot of things to many people, but to you? it was the guy you saw in your classes that absolutely pissed you off. what did he even do? some ask.
he asked you out. 3 times and counting. you see, the first time you rejected him, it was because you hadn’t really known eachother much. second time was because it was literally four days after the last time he asked you out, and the third? because he was getting really repetitive.
sure! he was cute. sure. but so goddamn annoying. the way he’d snicker back to his friends when he complimented you, rolling your eyes in response.
“ynnnnnnn! love your skirt~” which might have been a normal compliment, if you weren’t adjusting it from when it rode up, so you just scoff in response as he turns to his friends, a giddy smirk on his face. “see guys, she’s literally sooooo into me.”
the way he’d shamelessly eye you in that one class you had together, looking up from your laptop and catching him with that stupid (incredibly charming!!!!) smile, raising his eyebrows and you just look away, not really wanting to give him the attention he wants.
little do you know, he loves this— a little too much. the rush he gets when you call him an “asshole” under your breath, or how pretty you look when you give him that face. he likes it. and sure, this game is cat and mouse was fun, but he honestly wanted it to end.. or at least see you get pissed at him again <3
so at the end of class, with a snicker, his fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you back to him. “cmere, ynieeeee~” the way he said your name has your blood boiling, not to mention the way his friends crowd at the door, watching you two. “yn, your skirt is really cuteeee, seriously. and your top, too!” he grins, eyes traveling to your chest. he only likes the top because it’s low cut. “fucking creep!!” you slap his hands away, stepping away as you eye him up and down.
“seriously, beomgyu! what is your issue? you’ve asked me out 3 times, and you’re not about to do a fourth.” you exclaim, cheeks red in anger. “aaaaactually…. fourth times the charm, right? please, yn. i don’t care how long it takes. i want you.” he says, stupid smirk growing on his lips again. you groan and look back towards his friends who just sit there in silence, the same grin on their faces as you look back at beomgyu. “why the fuck can’t you take a hint. why would i date you? you’re really persistent and annoying, and i barely know you.” you say, raising an eyebrow as you nod at him, eyes widening slightly as you wait for his response.
“that’s exactly why you should date me, yn. persistent? shows you that i care. annoying? can’t really cheat, other girls find me annoying too. we don’t know eachother? that’s fine, yn. i can just adapt to what you need. please….?” he says, tilting his head as he now waits for you to say anything. one case, he would be thrilled to finally end the chase, now having to dedicate his life to annoying you in a relationship, but if you reject him? that’s fine. he still loves the thrill of how badly you treat him…
you step closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder as you look up at him, a shy smile on his face. “awwww, beomgyu!!!! well… in that case… maybe fifth times the charm?” you giggle as you leave him, waving at him like nothing even happened.
“but guys!! she touched me!! and she said maybe next time!! she literally is sooooo down bad for me. i’ll bag her any day. just watch.” he says, catching up with his friends as they just laugh at him.
he’s gonna get you next time, you and him both know it.
˙✧˖°📷 ⋆｡˚꩜
okayyyy this is kinda short BUT if you want either a part two , hereeeeeeee
#txt#beomgyu#beomgyu x reader#txt x reader#txt soft thoughts#beomgyu soft thoughts#THIS IS SO SHORT IM SORRY 😭😭#gowonder: answered!#gowonder: writes
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I admitted to feeling down on my portrayal not long ago and in response, got an anon basically telling me that I take my followers for granted. That they're jealous of my popularity and resent how much I take it for granted and…it really fucked me off. Like, how dare you? Because I get notes on things, because I make an effort with a wide range of people, that means I take things / people for granted? Am I not allowed to feel the same as others? Does the fact I get more notes on something mean I must always be a beacon of positivity and never be upset or demoralised regarding my own portrayal?
I understand it sucks to get no notes or interaction. I have had many blogs over the years with barely any interaction on them but like, I just can't help but feel annoyed by this whole, "you're popular! people like you! wah! they don't like me >:( be grateful!" response. It shuts down anything that I, as a person, am thinking or feeling. It invalidates my feelings with "well, you're popular, so you aren't allowed to feel that way."
The thing is. Yes, I get notes. Does that mean people read my stuff? I don't think so. My headcanon posts get likes immediately after I post, quickly enough that there's no way a person could have read the post that fast. My ship and inbox calls get notes on them that don't even suit the ship or requirements (for example, romantic ship calls will get a tonne of notes, despite me being specific about that type of ship). My ooc posts get a bunch of likes, but in personal communication, people will clearly state they'd no idea of things I've posted that they have liked.
Basically, notes don't mean anything. You can get a bunch of a notes on a post, and still feel like the loneliest person in the room.
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Hey! I was wondering that are you still taking requests? If you do, can you make a headcanon about Caius x human fem? To be specific, she doesnt want to be in italy with them, she is furious and she used to date edward. She wants to go back forks and caius have to deal with her rage and hate.
A/N: Hi and thanks for the request! My inbox is quite full so sorry for the wait. Hope you like this!
-S
+ not proof read, 200ish words
“I mean it’s Italy, who doesn’t want to live in fucking Italy!” Caius’s voice thundered around the white castle walls so anyone in the castle could hear.
That had been thing for a while in the Volturi coven’s home.
You had started a relationship a while before the catastrophe called Renesmee being alive happened. You were on the Cullens side (they were your friends after all).
But to Caius it was because you had a small relationship with Edward like 20 years ago. Caius had always been the jealous type but what came to Edward it was so much worse.
“Because I have lived there for god knows how long, and I have friends there, unlike here!” You screamed right back to him.
“I knew you still had feeling for the mind-reader!” Caius screamed right back at you.
“We dated twenty fucking years ago!” You yelled more annoyed than anything else.
“And you just want to live in a house with your ex!”
“They are my friends, my family!”
“And you will get new friends and family here!”, Caius yelled almost sounding desperate.
Everyone was tired. Aro had had more than few conversations with Caius about your screaming matches. And in some way all members of the coven had taken a side on your fight.
It took months that you two could speak with each other, like normal people.
At the end agreement was made, half a year in Forks and half in Italy. Caius wasn’t perfectly happy but neither were you, but it was enough.
#caius twilight#the twilight series#the twilight saga#twilight#the volturi x reader#the volturi#the volturi coven#the volturi kings#caius volturi x reader#caius x y/n#caius x reader#caius volturi
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Yandere Johnny Vincent, Jimmy Hopkins, Beatrice Trudeau and Pete Kowalski dating a deaf reader
Okay I got you, mind you i am not deaf or hard of hearing so if I accidentally stereotype something tell me. Also I’m sorry if you were waiting long I just checked my inbox.
TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship, abusive behavior, abusive relationship, Some are platonic and some are romantic, Reader is deaf but I am not so these are based off of all the things I’ve seen or heard from others while trying my best not to make stereotypes, Jimmy and Johnny threatening people, Johnny and his gang beat the shit out of someone, all of them are separate, already established relationship, it’s not specified what type of sign language it is but it’s ASL bc I think Bullworth is in America in the game, if I need to add anything please do tell me
Johnny Vincent
-He loves you all the same but he learns sign language for you. It takes some time but he learns it just for you, he also makes the other greaser learn sign language as well since your now his lover.
-He sometimes forgets your deaf but he immediately remembers after he tries to talk to you, he knows you can read lips he just feels very bad about it so.
-He’s sorta pleased that you can’t hear because he can say all the obsessive things that you don’t understand since he does it while you two are cuddling.
-If anyone tries to make fun of you for being deaf he and the other greasers are going to jump them. No one gets away with insulting you.
Jimmy hopkins
-At first he found it annoying but he quickly got over it as this was your life so he learnt sign language. It took him VERY long to understand but he got the hang of it, he still messes up every so often
-He will stab or fight a kid for you, just sign to him that someone made fun of you and their apologizing their best in sign language while sobbing with Jimmy behind them. NO ONE disrespects you.
-Gary can’t even say a joke about you without Jimmy punching him in the fucking teeth. Gary just rolls his eyes at you because at least he doesn’t get his ass best for that.
-He’s a pretty calm Yandere so he doesn’t mind you not hearing him but sometimes he wishes you could hear him, he knows that their really isn’t anything he can do but wish but he’s content with using sign language.
Beatrice Trudea (She’s platonic)
-She already knew sign language so it wasn’t hard for you to talk in sign language.
-She can’t do much as she’s a nerd but she makes sure you don’t feel bad about it. She does get some revenge in the middle of the night for you though.
-The nerds are okay with you but they get annoyed since you can’t hear them, though she will beat all of their asses if they insult you. Even if their her only friends she’ll make sure they respect you!
-She pays Jimmy to fight people for you as she wants to make sure the people who attacks or insult you understand that you don’t get hurt.
Pete Kowalski(Platonic)
-he takes so long to actually finally understand sign language. He doesn’t mean to be rude but it just because he forgets.
-He knows that he can’t do anything so he pays someone else to do it. He doesn’t want you hurt in anyway.
-Gary bullies you but Jimmy bitch slaps him. Jimmy just protect you because he feels bad for you since your deaf. Pete is happy that Jimmy will protect you.
-Usually he uses notes to talk to you but he also uses sign language of course, he just finds notes more easy and also he forgets how to use sign language time to time.
#yandere#please don’t do this#obession#unhealthy#platonic yandere#yandere platonic#gn reader#romantic yandere#✉️mail arrived✉️#genderfluid enity answers!#yandere bully#bully game x reader#x gn reader#yandere x gn reader#gender neutral y/n#yandere x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader
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hi
first of all, please ignore (even delete) this if you're not in the mood because half of this'll be essentially just a rant, sorry. a positive one, but a rant nonetheless. i just wanna share with someone, preferably someone who knows what i'm talking about/what i mean. also please tell me if you don't want me to appear in your ask box like this ever again.
second of all, i wanna apologize for not writing you back, i just fucking forgot (seems to be a reoccuring theme with us ig). but if you wanna, i'd like to continue the conversation, especially that i haven't even heard about the second guy.
third of all, not to make you even more jealous but i think that our creative writing professor is a fucking genius. like holy shit.
the whole class i was adhd-ing so hard (so maybe having it doubled is not that good for my brain, oops - especially that we talk a lot and, well, listen to each other a lot and it requieres focus. anyway). i was fidgeting through the whole class and i think i hit the chair next to me like ten times and i wanted to scream because i was sure i was annoying, visible and sometimes even somewhat loud about it and eh. thankfully, we had a ten minute break and i think it was somewhat better after that.
but! onto the positive part! i was last to read and it gave me some anxiety beforehand but i really enjoyed reading and i think i said things nicely plus the feedback and i was very quickly in a good mood aaaand dopamine lol. then we played a game which was nice and also game!!
and then he said what we have to do for the next class which is esentially a retelling (any mythology, any type and even like any time-period? as in you can write the story again, like the song of achilles or place it in modern day or whatever. so like. how cool is that???) and here comes my fav part because i have been planning an orpheus and eurydice retelling with simon and adalaine for a while and i plan that as a big project, like a full book preferably but. still. i get to work with that! and i get to work with simon and adalaine! for my creative writing class!! absolutely losing my shit
anyway if you'd have an exercise like this what do you think, what would you write?? i'm so curious (i'm just generally so interested in the topic of retellings. like they're so cool). also if you wanna write it, i'd love to read it.
also curious about what do you think, what work of yours would you read out loud to get to know your writing at a class like this/at a writing club or smth?
also how are you?? hope you're doing ok.
sorry for the rant again. and for not writing you back. yeah
bestie hi hiii !!! don't ever feel bad for wriggling into my inbox it's always a pleasure seeing you here in my little corner of the internet! and it's always so good to hear abt what shenanigans you got into, seeing that we haven't seen each other in ages :( (speaking of which, any chance of you hanging 'round budapest in upcoming weeks perhaps?)
damn ur right u are making me kinda jealous hehe. but more importantly I'm so happy for u man!! you get to share your stories with an audience that listens and gives good feedback that's some really good stuff and I'm happy you get to experience that! and you know my opinions on Simon and their pals so the idea that you're gonna have written material for them (as in, more than there already is)?? damn now I really just wanna read more of your stuff 😩 (I mean. only if u want me to. like I'd love to read whatever you write for the class if ur comfy sharing 🥺)
Tbh I'm not much of a reteller-type - don't get me wrong I get feral about stories that manage to both acknowledge their roots and the fact that they are a different story to those roots, my current fav series for instance does a phenomenal job at this imo - I just personally prefer to tell original stories bc I feel I dunno, less limited? Still if I had to choose it would probably be Icarus's story, I know not the most original but the concept has me screaming crying foaming at the mouth and a lot of my little guys could fit into the story almost frighteningly well. Then again as much fun as talking abt my guys in an academic setting sounds like I'd probably be insufferable 😂
I'm not sure if I have works I'd be comfy reading in front of a class lol, most of what I already have is either unfinished/unedited or a 20k fic on ao3. but if I absolutely had to choose it'd probably be this one bc 1) it combines all my fav parts of writing (poetic wording, dark themes, utterly incomprehensible metaphors...) and 2) it's short so it won't take me ages to read it out loud lol
anyway don't feel bad for not answering you know exactly how my own short term memory works (hint: it doesn't) lmao. it doesn't count if we're both shit at replying to each others' stuff that just means were even 😂 (but seriously though I really don't mind I know how sometimes the brain just does a backflip unprompted)
and seriously feel free to rant at me any time you like as we already agreed normal chat apps <<<<<< tumblr when it comes to communication (but only if I can rant back at you hehe)
#damn i hope this is coherent i am. so braindead rn#wanted to answer before i forgot lol#btw if you'd rather i answered these in private do tell
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Hey I know request last are closed but your my favourite writer and I was wondering if you could do an angst for Beelzebub that compares mc to being so disgusting he would rather eat Solomons food? Please make it really heart breaking. If you don’t I’m really sorry for wasting your time and I apologies sincerely
I'm about to sound like a raging bitch, but you know what? Fuck it. I'm too annoyed to play nice in internet land today. I would normally just delete this request and move on, but it just happened to be my last straw.
Requests are closed. They've been closed for weeks. You even acknowledge that they are CLOSED. Yet, for some reason, you still feel the need to drop one in my inbox? As if you are above the rules or boundaries I set? Did you think that would make me more likely to take it? Because, spoiler alert, it does the exact opposite.
I even said this not that long ago to a different anon.
I gave that anon the benefit of the doubt because I got their ask not long after posting they were closed, so it's possible (in retrospect) that they were marked open when they started sending the ask but I closed them before they sent it officially. I am more than happy to look at requests when they are open, but I don't give a shit about the ones sent when they are closed.
IT IS LITERALLY MY FIRST RULE ABOUT REQUESTS!
I usually just delete requests that people send when they aren't open, but this one just pisses me off in a special way because you explicitly state that you know they are closed but you just really had to send yours for some reason. It's like a slap in the face.
"I know request are closed but I was wondering if I could ignore that fact and do what I want anyway regardless of the answer because my own desires are more important than your stated boundaries." That's how this reads to me.
You don't know why my requests are closed. Maybe I'm busy irl, maybe I'm going through something, maybe I just don't want to write or plan or edit an entire fic that gets distressingly little feedback for the amount of time I put into it, maybe I want to work on more personal fics than requests, or maybe it doesn't matter what the reason is because it's really easy for you to just not send anything when they are closed. In fact, it takes less time than it did for you to type this request.
While we're at it, fuck this too.
It says a lot that some people can't be bothered to check what people's limits are and just toss things at them for some fucking reason. Do y'all think your above their boundaries and limits? Do you think if you ask nicely enough you can manipulate your way into convincing them to make you something?
I am not a content machine, no matter how much I seem to produce. I am a person with an actual life outside of writing whatever people send my way. I have rules for a reason. I have a request status for a reason. I do not care how "nice" or "polite" you think you sound when you send something someone explicitly does NOT want; the fact you sent it is already rude as fuck.
I don't care if I sound rude in this. I really do not. I care that I make it clear that I have boundaries and rules in my space/blog and if you can't follow them I don't want you. I don't want someone who thinks my limits are a suggestion rather than something to be respected, especially when you knowingly trample on them.
This was just my breaking point because some of y'all have been testing me and other writers/artists lately with your lack of respect for the people you claim to like. It's fucking gross. We are not machines creating shit for your amusement. We are human beings sharing something we like to do with you.
Get that through your head and respect the rules.
#been working on setting boundaries and limits#and I'm too angry to be polite about reinforcing them#may private the blog because this isn't even funny anymore#rant#saying 'sorry for wasting your time' means nothing when you do the thing anyway#asking forgiveness is only a thing if you didn't know#if you know and do it anyway you are just an ass#tumblr isn't even my main platform (that's AO3)#i'm just here to talk to people and read other people's fics and look at pretty art#literally debating going back there and staying there exclusively#if any of you start getting butthurt in my inbox I will close it outright and then go private
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hi! this is mpreg anon from a few months back lol. i just wanted to say i finally got to reading the fic and im sooo!!!!! sobbing and crying, a puddle of love on the floor! you were right. i Know now why you talked about it often.
i really love holly's stankyle. theres something about them that feels very.. desperate? like they know they belong together and sometimes not even physical touch can satiate that need/want?? idk! but agh! i love them sm. holly is also really good at capturing the overall weirdness of south park and thats why she can come up with aus/ideas that are weird or silly and make them work. i also really appreciate that she went for kinks/tropes that not many people give style.
something else i really loved about this fic was that it felt very like.. omg a dream come true in a way? sometimes i just wanna read a fic where stan and kyle do fuck all all day, just real type of normal maybe even domestic shit and its just them. and this fic came pretty close to that? they are so wrapped up in each other and have so much love to give and g OD i thought the baby was gonna come in and ruin that or like i was gonna get annoyed w the baby but no!!! 😭 i was so neutral about elway in the beginning and was actually loving how kyle was thinking/approaching the whole thing. idek when that started changing?? before they talk about the name elway though. and when she was finally born and the days kyle spent fighting to get her?!! and then he gets her and its the three of them and its like.. yeah.. okay, she's perfect. she really is a miracle stan and kyle created and theres no way she could ever come between them bc stan and kyle's love is endless, its forever and ever, they can share that love with their child 🤧
as for creek, hmm. i think craig and tweek just arent characters i've seen holly write for and like? so even though they are/were together i just didnt rly care for them u_u. im really glad i started finally reading fic where theyre not together in style fics though. it still hurts a bit lmao but ive been enjoying some stories i had passed on before and stuff and yeah, ty for giving me that little push >w<!!!
sorry this ask is so long! i didnt want to bother you every time i finished a chapter lol. i was also going through some stuff and this fic was the only thing keeping me sane. and actually i have just the epilogue left but im so sad its gonna be over after that so i've been delaying it :(! but yeah, aahhhh herbert garrison's night school for unwed fathers enjoyer 🫡 TY! 💙💚
YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU READ THE FIC AND SENT ME THIS AMAZING ASK??? I saw this in my inbox and immediately went to my friends and like BRAGGED ABOUT GETTING THIS? I'm going to respond to every part so bear with me but in the meantime THANK YOU!!!
I think you are so so right about them being desperate... it is key for stanky that regardless of how close they get physically, it's like it'll never be enough? Like they are soulmates in every sense of the word, and can never actually satiate their pull... SIGH!!!! IT'S TRUE!!! And holly's ability to nail absurdity is absolutely one of her strongest suits, and something that definitely contributed to how iconic she is. South Park is an absurd show, and holly meets it with such absurdity that Stan and Kyle can stay perfectly in character, because so many of her plots are something that could legitimately BE a South Park episode involving the characters when they're older. Like, Craig and Clyde fucking in the Marsh shed and Craig telling Sheila Kyle needs a psych eval? A+, can and will happen at some point. It's so ridiculous yet somehow believable, and the mpreg fic is literally the BEST example of it. It's a concept that's frankly a huge turnoff for a lot of people (understandably), but she puts it in such a light that she makes it appealing for a ton of people. It's one of those fics that i would recommend even to the most vehement mpreg hater, because there IS something about it that differentiates it from typical fics like that.
AND DESCRIBING IT AS A DREAM COME TRUE IS SO CORRECT? Everything you said in that third paragraph specifically was so fucking real. The fic starts off as such an absolute disaster situation, and despite the multiple disasters along the way, you can absolutely tell that it was like fate in a way? Holly does an incredible job of balancing the understandable stress with the joy and all the happy moments, as well as acknowledging the fact that in the end, Elway seriously did enrich both of their lives. I LOVE THAT YOU POINTED OUT HOW YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE BABY COMING BETWEEN THEM... because it's true!!! It's such a real concern, but she is so good about wrapping it up; the scenes after Kyle gets Elway feel like a dream sequence in how floaty and happy everyone is, and while reading it I was like (as someone who does not want kids), huh. Maybe I need to have a baby? LOLL but seriously you are so right. It IS endless and now they have even more love to go around because of Elway... whatever. WHATEVER!! I'm not even crying. I'm NORMAL!!!!
I totally get your feelings about creek!! I ended up feeling kind of similarly. I'm happy you started expanding your horizons!!! There's nothing wrong with sticking with exclusively creek fic, obv, but there are some real gems out there if you're able to push some of the icks to the side. And maybe you'll even figure out a new ship you like? I remember that I was afraid to read Other People's Tupperware at first because Tweek is literally dead, and Craig hooks up with Kenny? But then I decided to read it (and felt neutral about it!) and it was valuable to me. And then when I read it a few years later, I really loved it. It got me thinking that first time!!! I'M HAPPY I COULD HELP GIVE YOU THAT PUSH!!!
Talking about holly (or any other fic) to me will NEVER bother me so pls feel free to do so!!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE EPILOGUE!! It is sweet and so delightful. AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I CAN EVER GIVE YOU ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS!!
Thank you SOO much for this ask!! It seriously made my day.
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idk if i should even give this moron the time of my day by bringing attention to this but i realise this person might be trolling other writers as well. this is probably going to be all over the place but here goes
first of all, getting comments and even likes on fanfics is difficult as in people ( i assume new people joining fandoms) rarely comment despite someone making a psa every now and then encouraging readers to give their honest review even if it’s a single line when they consume a fanfic. you may not know this but the writers can see their stories getting views but not comments/likes to match.
and honestly, it’s kinda impossible for a work to have the exact amount of likes and comments as the views; however, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again that in the case of the majority of fanfics, the ratio is still staggering and not in the beta ways
getting to the point
TW internet trolls, mention of curses haunting, internet curse
i checked my ao3 after days and was pleasantly surprised to see one new message in my inbox, because that usually means someone left a comment on a fic. however, the excitement was immediately doused when i saw the content. warning for anyone who believes in these kinds of things or just isn’t comfortable about them, but the content of the comment is some sort of curse that can be spread through the internet just by reading the first word and includes the story if this “dead girl” who will haunt you unless you pass it on to a number of other people. fucking ridiculous. the images below are screenshots of the comment
i didn’t know whether i was more annoyed or embarrassed but i believe there’s this person going about trolling fanfic writers on ao3. considering the wide range of age and types of mentalities of people who use ao3, i figure a lot of the people getting hit by this troll (in case i’m not the only one) fall for this and in turn are spamming other writers. i don’t know if this person actually believes this but they should get some mental evaluation and atop bothering others. i’m not doing very well myself and i get how this may be seen as me overreacting but i figured i shouldn’t let this one go. not because it upset me for a while but because this could get much bigger and more annoying if a lot of people become affected by some idiot’s idea of having fun.
all in all, take care, and if you get a message like this, don’t spread it to others =.=
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omg wait ok who in jjk do you think is an ass, thigh or tits person?? also congrats on 4k thats so sexc of u!!! you're so talented you deserve every one of them <33 MWAH
bb thank you so much ily so much <333 kiss kiss mwah <333 and! thank you for asking this i have been waiting for this ask to come into my inbox. warning; suggestive and mentions of nsfw
ITADORI YUUJI is an ass person. aside from the fact that it’s canon, i see him as someone that’s just mesmerized with ass. loves seeing it in jeans, or those patterned loose pants yk the one that make everyone’s ass jiggle, or in a tight dress, or in booty shorts. and not just that! he loves to be touching you too. as his s/o, you are never free from his groping hands. loves to lift you up and just place his hands on your ass, to ‘keep you steady’ or whatever, and also loves to lay on your ass if you’re on your stomach. makes you laugh so it jiggles against his head/cheek. he’s a bit too shy to smack your ass in public, but catch him doing it all the time at home. like as you’re passing by him or standing there minding your business. or just always having a handful of your ass when you two are sitting down/cuddling. definitely fake fucks you when you bend over too just saying.
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI i see more as a tits kinda guy. he says doesn’t have a preference, but that all changes when he sees you in a low-cut revealing shirt. he’s a respectful guy so he will be trying not to look. it doesn’t really work though. it’s not that he doesn’t like ass or thighs, it’s more that whenever he sees your tits it goes to his dick a lot quicker lmao. he loves, loves, loves it when you don’t wear a bra, no matter the shirt you wear, no matter your breast size, and if it’s see through as well? consider him dead. oh and megumi’s hands are large. i’m not saying he has a size kink but, there’s just something about the way they look against your breasts. also! he really likes,,, just, kinda, fondling with them. holding them, groping them, as he’s sitting there. it’s fun. and warm. also adores stuffing his face against your chest, even if you have small tits, he just likes it. it’s all about the intimacy of laying on your lover’s naked chest for him <3
KUGISAKI NOBARA is definitely a tits kinda girl. like no questions, no criticisms, nothing just vibes and titties. she loves the way they look, the way they feel, in her hands, in her mouth, literally anything and everything. considering she has breasts too, she knows just how comforting it is to hold onto them just randomly. if you have big breasts, she’s in heaven as she stuffs her face against them, nothing nsfw just cause. if you have small breasts, she’s still in heaven as she just sucks on them as a stress reliever. she’s like a toddler when she’s stressed like ‘lemme suck on your tiddies pls’ lmfao. also!! she is a fashion icon, an star, an idol, she knows the type of clothes that look flattering and which don’t. also she loves to go bra shopping with you just so she can get into the changing room and start groping and bouncing your breasts to test out the bra, as she claims. but yes, she’s a titties girl!
RYOMEN SUKUNA is, if not an all kinda guy, a thighs man. wears them like ear muffs lmfao. his infatuation was first purely nsfw, and he would show it by constantly leaving bruises all over them, marking you, whether it was from his tight, vice like grip, or from his mouth. but then over time it became just genuine love and fascination, especially after that one time you had whined at him after sex to just massage your sore thighs for you. he’d begrudgingly agreed, but then he ended up loving the feel of kneading them in his strong hands. and after growing comfortable with cuddling, his favorite position is just where his head is in between your thighs and your ankles are crossed at his chest. he can stay like that for hours honestly. also he likes to have his hands resting there, squeezing every once in a while. but, like i said, sukuna just likes your body in general.
INUMAKI TOGE was a little more difficult to decide, and i’m still not that sure of this, but i think he’d be an ass person, just because i think he’s lowkey very touchy with his s/o and he’d like to just— rest his hands there all the time. likes it when the two of you are cuddling and you leg is lifted up across him, allowing him to settle his hand on the curve of your ass. also he’s lowkey a very cheeky person when it comes to his s/o, so i can just imagine as you’re laying down on your tummy, he pats your ass and every time it jiggles he giggles to himself lightly. also the type to rest against his s/o’s ass just cause but he would actually fall asleep like that. also! whenever he’s resting like that, he likes to give your ass a little peck, just a small smooch, a token of appreciation if you will, before he pats where he kissed lightly, and in his own way he just says, “nice :D.”
GOJŌ SATORU. ass. ass. ass. ass. ass. ass man! is absolutely in love with your ass. smacks it in public with zero shame, just sends a teasing grin your way, and like, finger guns at you with a wink or something. when you walk past him at home in shorts or like only your underwear, he likes to give it a nice little pat. every single time. and when you bend over while he’s sitting on the couch or laying on the bed or something, he calls out in the cheekiest, most teasing, most annoying voice, “nice.” i hate his sexy ass sm. does tiktoks with you that include you throwing it back on him because he wants to give you reason to. loves to watch you put on your clothes, especially jeans, when you like jump in them. he’s just a pervert with a license to constantly hit on you.
NANAMI KENTŌ is also definitely an ass man. look at him. tell me he doesn’t love ass. loves to fondle and grope it all the time, no matter where you are, and he’s very good at making it look subtle too so he gets away with doing in public too. nanami strikes me as someone that’s slightly possessive, not unhealthily so, but he does always like to subtle hand on you whenever the two of you are out, and more often than not his hand’s resting right above your ass. also he’s a very giving partner, in all ways, so i see him offering to give you massages all the time. definitely lingers on your ass, kneading strongly yet softly, even if you don’t need it? he just likes to do it. is not as open about it as the others, but he’s very obvious about it hehe
ZENIN MAKI is a thighs girl. also is the type to love stuffing her face in between them, but it’s a fixation kinda thing where she cannot stop ogling at your legs, specifically your thighs. loves to grope and squeeze at them all the time, and her all time favorite thing is seeing you in thigh highs, where the stockings squeeze at your thighs just a little. it makes her mind cloud over.
ZENIN MAI is a a tits girl. i was thinking maybe she’s an ass girl, but i’m so certain she wouldn’t be able to take her eyes off of you or your cleavage if you wore anything to show off your breasts. definitely likes to lay on your chest and kiss and suckle on them, just randomly. also kinda a possessive thing, cause she will absolutely leave marks. she just. loves your tits okay?
GETŌ SUGURU is an ass man. loves seeing you all dressed up in outfits that show your ass off, and almost always he won’t really touch, not unless the two of you were really intimate, but he looks. he looks so much, and he makes it so obvious that he’s checking you out. in public, at home, doesn’t matter. he’ll be eyeing you up and down and will have this sultry smirk as he glances at your ass. kinda hot ngl.
MAHITO is also a little bit tricky because i want to say ass, but i also want to say tits. somewhere in between ass and tits then. he has like,,, moods for them you know. sometimes he won’t stop ogling at your breasts, and other times he can’t keep his hands off your ass. either way, he’s very teasing about it, and he will buy you really provocative clothes to show both off. so kind <3
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanon#itadori yuuji x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#gojo satoru x reader#inumaki x reader#nobara x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#sukuna x reader#zenin maki x reader#zenin mai x reader#geto x reader#mahito x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut
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Hey!! I was wondering if you could write a fic about Angel dust inviting the whole Hotel gang to one of his shows and neither of them are able nor want to come. So the reader feels bad and comes to surprise him, making Angel feel warm and mushy cause someone actually cares about spider boi🥺❤️ Thank you sm!💕
I saw this the first time in my inbox and was so excited to get to it!!
Angel walked into the hotel with tickets to his latest show. It's supposed to be more of a burlesque type thing this time and he thought it'd be the tamest show he could have his sort of friends go to. Just so he could have people he knew in the crowd. He saw them most of them in the lobby, Y/n wasn't there, but he'd just ask them later.
"Hey, everyone! I've got tickets to my show tonight, who wants one?" He was hoping all of them would come, to at least show some support. The girls were sitting on the sofa while Alastor and Husk occupied the front desk/bar. Charlie looked guilty while Vaggie pursed here lips and looked away.
"Sorry, Angel, Vaggie and I have a date tonight." Charlie smiled apologetically. "We'll come to the next one, though!" He'd heard that promise before. There would always be something that was stopping her from going. He wished that she'd just say she didn't want to go. It would hurt less.
"That's fine, Chuck. What about it boys?" He turned his head to the bar. "You wanna see me perform?" He waked over and waved the tickets at them to make them more enticing.
"Why would I want to see such a shameful display? Why, you could hardly call it good entertainment!" Alastor's hand waved in the air as he refused with a laugh, canned laughter joining in the background. Angel expected his answer but was still hurt. He didn't let it show and rolled his eyes.
"No." Was all Husk said before he took a gulp of the cheap booze he held in his paw. Angel's heart sank. No one wanted to go and he was crushed. He hid it with a shrug and a looking of indifference.
"Your loss. Imma head upstairs to get ready." He set the tickets down on the bar. "In case ya change ya mind." He winked flirtatiously at them before heading up to his room.
He reached his room and quickly went in, his face full of sad disapointment. Angel decided to just stuff down the feelings and get ready for the show. Packing all he needed into his duffel bag and getting what he could on or applied.
A few hours later, and he had to leave. Before he left, he looked over to see the tickets still where he left them on the bar, untouched. No one around to see his sad frown. Angel scowled and looked away, walking out the door, slamming it behind him and headed to the club.
~*~
You walked out of your room, just waking up from a nap, and headed downstairs. You noticed Husk behind the bar, with Alastor chattering away, his hands speaking with him. Looking around, there was no sign of Angel, Charlie, or Vaggie. You shrugged it off and went over to the bar to sit at it. There were tickets on the counter, you noticed as you sat one seat away from the deer demon.
"Well, hello sleepyhead!" Alastor addressed you with his usual loudness. "Nice of you to join us today!" You only hummed back and picked up one of the tickets.
"What's this?" You examined it. It looked like it was for some burlesque show happening at a club nearby. Alastor scoffed, his wide smile staying in place.
"Why, our dear Angel Dust is putting on a show and invited us!" His answer made you look at the details and see that Angel was, indeed, part of the show. The ticket mentioned how the show started at six o'clock pm. You hummed and looked at the clock, forty minutes until it started.
"So, when are you guys planning to leave, then?" You looked back at them to see Alastor tilt his head and regard you with amusement and Husk to roll his eyes and down the rest of his bottle.
"We ain't goin'." He grumbled and Alastor's smile grew wider. You furrowed your brow and felt annoyance bubble up inside you.
"Why the fuck not? He asked you guys to go, got you tickets," you shifted in your seat to face them fully, "that're probably gonna come out of his pay, by the way. He wants you guys there and you just refused to go? You both are fucking assholes." You stood, ignoring them both staring at you. Grabbing a ticket, you stommped bacck upstairs to get ready to go.
~*~
Angel peeked behind the curtain, watching people file in and still not seeing anyone from the hotel. He wondered if Y/n also refused to go. Probably, he thought, causing his heart to sink. Truth be told, he had grown close to the demon. They were always there to listen to his rants or help with the back of his wigs if he couldn't get it right. Y/n was his best friend, next to Cherri, of course. He let go of the curtain and headed back to the dressing rooms while remembering one of their misadventures with a small smile.
Y/n and Cherri were both in the crowd while he was on stage, pole dancing. They both were shouting and cheering like they were at a concert, both tipsy. Other patrons were annoyed and told them to shut up. Y/n blew a raspberry at them and Angel had to hold in a breath to not laugh. He had been watching them so he didn't notice someone crawling on the stage until they attatched themselves to his leg. His startled yelp drew both his friends' attention and they wasted no time in rushing up to the stage to grab the pervert.
Cherri yanked him off and Y/n grabbed him, throwing him off the stage while shouting "YEET". The both of them giggled as they clumsily hugged Angel in an attempt to comfort him. The performance ended after that.
He was brought back to the present by the announcer sating his name. Had he really been in his own world for three performers' shows already? Dusting off his outfit, he made his way to the side of the stage and put on his sexy persona. One breath in, and breathe it out. He walked out in a strut and heard wolf whistles.
"Hell yeah! You go bitch!" His head whipped out to the crowd to see Y/n right there, in the front row. He smiled as his chest burst with happiness. He really could count on them. The spider began his show with new vigor. Angel was determined to give them the best show he could. His heart beating faster and stomach full of butterflies everytime he looked their way or they cheered.
"Thank you, Y/n." He said softly. "For everything."
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can’t help it (arvin russell x reader)
request (summary): @dhtomholland : hi !! i have an arvin request... what if arvin easily gets jealous when boys hit on y/n at school or jus try to talk to her and it was cute at first but y/n get annoyed at some point which leads to a small fight but arvin makes it up to her w flowers and telling her he jus wants to protect her 🥺🥺🥺
word count: 1.7k
warnings: language ofc, angst, fluff
edited: i also kinda forgot halfway through writing this that u requested he wanted to protect, i changed that up a bit sorry !!! also why the fuck am is my gifs not loading grrr
a/n: awwee this requesttt,, sorry for the late response. i’m not as quick as i used to be w requests
main masterlist | arvin russell masterlist
You like Arvin a lot, that’s something you couldn’t deny. But lord, ever since you started dating this boy you don’t think you could ever get used to his temper and overprotective attitude. You appreciated it, of course, it’s just that there were many times when he’d let it get the best of him.
There was this one time he was picking you up from school, but you weren’t at the front like you usually were. So he decides to park and walk to your locker to see if you were there. You’re there, but with the company of someone else. His heart rate spikes at the sight of someone, or to be more specific, some candy-ass boy talking to you. He slowly walks over, not wanting to startle the both of you, and listens in on the conversation.
“I- I could help ya with the homework for math class. If y- you want of course,” the sweet, frail boy whose name is Cole, offers you.
You smile softly and nod while closing your lockers, “I would appreciate that a lot! I think I’m free—”
Before you could even finish your sentence you notice Cole huddle in fear before you. “Hi,” you hear a familiar voice from behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and places his chin upon your shoulder.
“Oh, hey Arvin,” you murmur softly and glance over at him. You know what he’s up to so you push him off slightly to return to your conversation with the other boy.
“Uhm, h- hello there. A- Arvin,” Cole mutters and cowers underneath Arvin’s piercing glare.
You huff and shove your boyfriend aside. “Don’t mind him, like I was saying. I think I can after Sunday Mass, by the trees and tables if that’s alright?”
He gulps as he averts his eyes back and forth between the both of you. “Y- Yeah, is that okay?”
“I just said it’s alright—?” you stifle a laugh until you get cut off.
“Yeah, just studying though. If she tells me otherwise, I’ll cut your—'' Arvin threatens, causing every ounce of color from Cole’s face to drain.
“I’ll see you Sunday, Cole! Bye!” you immediately pull Arvin away and squeeze his hand harshly. “What is the matter with you!?”
“What?” he asks cluelessly and looks back at Cole who had already run off in complete fear and embarrassment.
“That poor boy. He’s just asking to study with me, that’s all,” you smack his arm.
He scoffs and shrugs you off. “Doll, I know you’re dull sometimes but c’mon. Every boy in the school probably wants you. Even boys like him, they just got some type of strategy or some shit,” he runs a hand through his hair and avoids your piercing glare.
“Dull? First off, fuck you. Second, every boy? Arvin, grow up baby. I’m yours, and only yours. M’ pretty damn sure everyone knows that. Now fucking apologize or else I’m walking home,” you stop in your tracks and cross your arms.
He stops as well and turns towards you, giving you a blank expression. You remain firm and raise an eyebrow at him, almost testing him to try you. “Sweetcakes, m’ sorry,” he groans and takes a step towards you.
You take a step back and raise both your eyebrows, continuing to stay stubborn. “Sorry, what?”
He takes one more look at you and wavers in defeat. He trudges over to you and falls into your arms, stuffing his face in your neck. You stifle a laugh and hold him up, hugging him close. “I’m sorry for threatening that stupid boy with dumb glasses. I just really like you and don’t want nobody touchin’ my girl. Nobody. Not even God. I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I won’t get jealous or overprotective again,” he drags out his words and whines against your skin.
You throw your head back and giggle. “Arvin! Okay, okay. You big softie. Apology accepted stupid. But, you better apologize to him too, okay?” you push him off you and glance into his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. Kiss?” he pouts and leans towards your face. You roll your eyes and oblige, pecking his lips. You walk off towards his car and he let out another whine, complaining about how the kiss was too short.
You love how you’re able to bring out this vulnerable and softer side to Arvin. You’re lucky enough that he even started dating you. It shock you that the boy had emotions. You’re only partly joking about that. It’s a true miracle the way you make him fall to his knees for you. You both couldn’t get enough of each other. Though, there were days where Arvin really got on your nerves.
He just promised the other day to not get too jealous or overprotective, didn’t he? Yet, here is now cursing out the same boy who helped you with your studies behind the school’s building. “What the fuck do you want with her? Huh? I saw the way you look at her, don’t you lie to me boy damnit!” he raises his voice at Cole.
Cole stumbles back and hits the wall as Arvin holds his collar, “I- I swear it’s nothing like that Arvin! I promise, I’m just helping her out that’s all! W- We’re just classmates, I’d never try to meddle. Please man!” he begins to weep covering his face as Arvin raises his fist.
“Arvin Eugene Russell!” the two boys hear a louder voice from behind them. There you stand with an infuriated expression. Your jaw clenched your face red and your hands on your hips.
Arvin mutters a handful of curses underneath his breath and lets go of Cole reluctantly. Cole plops down on the floor and hugs his knees to his chest as he watches the argument unravel between you and Arvin.
“Doll, this isn’t what it looks like. I was just lecturing him I swear—” Arvin holds his hands up in defense.
You completely ignore his attempts to redeem himself and brush past him, helping Cole up. “I am so sorry, are you okay?” you ask softly.
He wipes away his tears and nods in response. “Y- Yeah I’m okay, thank you. I should probably go now. I’ve caused enough problems,” he pulls away from your grasp and plays with his hands.
“No, you haven’t caused anything. I think he should go now,” you turn your head towards Arvin and send him a warning glare. He stares at you back in disbelief and clenches his jaw. You both stare at each other for a little longer, as if you were both challenging eachother to see who would back down. Arvin’s the first to crack. He scoffs and turns sharply on his heel, making his way back to his car.
“I- I’m so sorry, Y/n,” Cole bubbles sadly and wipes the sweat beads off his forehead. “I really am.”
“Don’t be stupid, you’re fine. It’s my damn boyfriend’s problem, not ours. Come on, let’s go grab some ice cream,” you sigh and walk ahead, leaving him scrambling to catch up with you.
After the nice hangout with your newly made friend, he walked you home and apologized once more which almost made you slap the boy. Though it was calming to spend time with a friend other than your boyfriend, you still couldn’t believe Arvin’s recent behavior.
You know he can get overprotective, but jealousy is something you never expected. You take your mind off of him once again by doing some homework until your peace is interrupted by the sound of loud knocks on your front door. “I’m coming! Jesus,” you yell frustatingly as the pounding on your poor wood gets louder. You open the door to see Arvin with a guilty expression, a heap of flowers in one hand and a dozen of pop in the other. You raise an eyebrow at him and lean against your doorway.
Your silence pushes him to speak up. “Look, I’m. I- I’m,” he grumbles out and avoids your gaze, staring at the ground.
“I’m?” you decide to poke at him and cross your arms, enjoying the entertainment in front of you.
“I didn’t mean to,” he huffs and holds out the things he brought, looking back at you.
Your face now remains unamused. “Come again?”
“Christ, woman,” he rolls his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry I almost beat the kid. I just hated the way his beady little shit eyes were staring at you. I coulda sworn the fucker was going to take you from me. I don’t want anyone to take you from me. I mean I know you’re not mine— No you’re mine, but not in a possessive way or something. I don’t know. I’m trying here, hell. I just, I’m just scared one day you’re gonna find someone better than some ditz like me,” he lets the bottled up feelings spill out his mouth like word vomit.
You look at him surprised and purse your lips, examining his face. He finally makes eye-contact with you and smiles weakly. You stifle a laugh and pull him into a bone-crushing hug that causes him to let out a soft gasp. He places down the flowers and pop, wrapping his arms around you instinctively. “Now you listen here fool, like I’ve said a million times. I’m yours, okay? I know I ain’t your object, and I’m glad you know that too. But nobody is gonna take me from you. Nobody, not even Paul Anka,” you tease quietly, earning a chuckle from him that makes you smile in content. “Wanna know why?”
He presses a warm kiss against your shoulder and sighs, “Why?”
“Cus I love your dumbass,” you murmur into his ear and rub his back comfortingly.
He tenses a bit and smiles happily, stuffing his face in your neck. “I love you too,” he mumbles incoherently into your skin.
You giggle and run a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. “Can you promise me not to do anythin’ like that again?”
“No,” he admits and begins to sway your body as he holds you.
You whine breathlessly and pull away to look at him. “Arvin! Why the hell not?”
He grins cheekily and shrugs nonchalantly, “Because I can’t help it.”
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#kelly's long reads#arvin russell#arvin russell x reader#arvin russell x you#arvin russell x y/n#arvin russell one shot#arvin russell fanfiction#arvin russell fluff#arvin russell angst#arvin russell smut#arvin russell imagines#tdatt#tdatt fanfiction
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I. These are just some ideas I had about how the yandere boys would react to you after you tried to escape. How different would they act towards you?
I've always thought that Diluc would add more and more security measures onto you. He would become deaf to the protests and cries that would've made him cave in before. Now he just has the strict mindset; he's doing it for your own good. That's what he uses to console himself. I imagine he wouldnt lift these precautions until he trusts his darling 100%, as he wouldn't want them endangering themselves again.
Kaeya would be different though. I don't think much would change. He is definetly the type to let you think you've escaped, only to show that he predicted your every move. He would still leave plenty of openings for you. I think he'd just make the challenge a little harder though. While he's leave certain doors unlocked before, now he'd leave something to pick the lock nearby.
Childe would probably feel great triumph. Like kaeya, he purposefully left openings for you. But he has different motive behind it. He wanted to prove to you, but also himself, that he was stronger than you. He loves battle and the chase, and who better to enjoy it with then his darling? I could even imagine him fucking you after, shining in his victory as he reminded you that you could never escape from him.
Albedo would likely just drug you up more, and tell you that this is your own doing in the patronizing way he always is. He would take more security measures like Diluc, but in a much different way. With diluc, you may feel like a small child, but you can tell that he's saying it in a caring way. But with Albedo, when he makes you feel like a kid, it's in a way that makes you feel stupid and whiny. He would go back to the normal dosage after a while, but warn you that if you ever tried again then you'd never go back.
warning for not sfw themes and dub/noncon mention!
ohhhh anon all of this lines up with how i imagine them reacting too. i barely have anything to add on since this is complete on its own,, childe's had me feeling a Certain kind of way though. omg. he'd be so primal, so unhinged, getting out all of his pent up frustration on his poor darling. he wouldn't be content until every hole of theirs was leaking with his cum. man must've taken some ancient version of viagra because what is that refractory period?? it's nonexistent for him. his libido skyrockets whenever darling is misbehaving... god he's so annoying.
THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US !! i almost feel spoiled with all the top tier content coming into the inbox the past few days.
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I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot
word count: 8.2k
pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader
summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.
disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!
Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.
There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.
I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.
"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.
"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.
"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.
"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.
The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.
All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.
The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.
His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.
"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.
"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.
"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?
"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.
"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.
"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.
"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.
"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.
"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.
"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.
"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.
"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.
"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.
"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.
"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.
"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.
For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.
"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.
"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.
"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.
It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.
"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.
"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.
"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.
"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.
"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.
"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.
"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.
"You look casual", he teased me.
"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.
"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.
"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.
"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.
"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.
The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.
"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.
"Bye", I left.
________________
"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.
"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.
"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.
He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.
"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.
"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.
"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.
Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.
"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.
"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.
"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.
Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.
Ah.
I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.
This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.
I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.
"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.
"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.
"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.
"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.
"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.
"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.
"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.
"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.
"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.
"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.
After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.
"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.
"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.
"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.
"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.
"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.
"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.
"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.
"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.
"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.
"No", I said back in a split second.
"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.
"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.
"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.
"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.
"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.
"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.
"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.
"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.
It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.
I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.
"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.
"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.
"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.
"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.
"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.
"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.
"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.
"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.
"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.
"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.
"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.
What?
"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.
"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.
"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.
"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.
I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.
I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.
I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.
He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.
He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.
He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.
I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.
I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.
I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.
As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.
He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.
A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.
"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.
"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.
"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.
"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.
Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.
"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.
"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.
"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.
After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.
The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.
I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?
________________
I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.
I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.
I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"
In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".
"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.
The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?
Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.
"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.
"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.
"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.
"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.
"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.
"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.
"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.
My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.
I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.
I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?
"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.
"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.
"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.
"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.
Δ
Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.
Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.
That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.
"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.
"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.
"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.
"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.
"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.
"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.
"I don't care", he eyed me.
"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.
"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.
I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.
"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.
Deal with it.
As if.
Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.
I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.
He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.
I like you. I like you a lot.
I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.
"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.
"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.
"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.
"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.
"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.
"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.
"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.
I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.
"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.
It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.
I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.
It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.
I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.
He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.
It was good.
"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.
"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.
"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.
"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.
"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.
"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.
After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".
"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.
"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.
"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.
"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.
"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.
"Like what?", I asked him.
"Like you can love me", he said.
"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.
"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.
"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.
"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.
________________
My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.
It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.
He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.
He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.
"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.
"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.
"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.
"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.
"Right now?", he asked surprised.
"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.
"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.
"I, you", I held his hand again.
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