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#I am on the spectrum so I have authority to say this
bnhabarbie · 1 year
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Nejire Hado is on the autism spectrum.
No, I won't elaborate.
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drchucktingle · 2 months
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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery
this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways
in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK
to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.
in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet
point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’
camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)
POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits
my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'
when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely
so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well
i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL
so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING
feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it
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queenof3ferrets · 7 months
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I don’t think people realize how deep Vil’s character goes. Like-REALLY realize it.
I am an aspiring writer, and I would say I have quite the keen eye so when I see people talking bad about Vil—-I get confused.
YES he seems harsh and pushy. And YES he doesn’t seem to act very nice around people sometimes and he acts cocky 24/7.
But there’s a difference between cocky and knowing your worth. Vil KNOWS his worth. And he isn’t just going to hide it because someone says so. Or because it’s easier to be modest and quiet.
And it’s what Vil is constantly encouraging others to do: to not hide.
But Vil also knows how harsh the world is. An actor can be one of the most hated people in the world because they’re constantly being filmed and people jump on their mistakes like lions hunting a limping giraffe.
So he KNOWS that a glass heart will get someone nowhere.
It’s why he acts so tough. And it’s why he gives tough love to others. If he never teaches his dorm members how to survive they’ll roll over and get killed the moment they step onto the field.
Hence, his harsh actions with Epel.
When Epel cries and storms off, Vil doesn’t scold him for it. He tells Epel to show him if he can hold his ground with his words. And how beauty is a weapon to be wielded well.
Vil scolds Epel when he calls dancing ‘feminine’ or ‘girly’ because he knows that mindset will get the boy nowhere. Vil knows beauty isn’t limited only to the female spectrum and tries to get others to see it as well.
It’s why Vil is so annoyed when Epel skips his routine but also because having a routine and ACTUALLY sticking to it is the hardest thing for some people. And Vil talks about this. (When you log in for the day and you get a reward, Vil LITERALLY talks about how routine and effort is the hardest part about beauty) and if you do keep up the effort it gives rewards.
But Vil also knows not all effort is repaid kindly.
That’s the whole reason he overblotted, basically. He felt inferior because no one saw him put in as much effort as he himself did, and people have the gall to scold him for it. That, or they overlook him for something they thought was better(Neige).
When I write, I don’t EVER want to hear someone I TRUSTED say that my work was second best to another author or that my way of writing was wrong and I should have to change it. Because I put time and effort into writing and it’s something I’m proud of. I put my soul into my writing and it honestly really hurts when someone does the exact things I mentioned before. And I’m sure Vil felt the same way.
Not to mention Vil has been through rough things in his childhood. Other children wanted to hurt him because of his talent for acting just because he played a part in a series too well and they couldn’t tell the difference. Adults never thought he could be a hero because he was too perfect and self-confident. Adults wanted someone like Neige to be the hero because he looked pretty and acted kind. (Basic protagonist things)
And Vil hated it. He gained traumas at a young age because other people alienated him. He grew to hate Neige because in the people’s eyes he was perfect and beautiful. And he grew obsessed with beauty because he didn’t think he was good enough for the hero roll.
His overblot was overdue at this point. Sure his actions should not be immediately forgiven, just like all the other overblotters actions, but they’re NEVER entirely to blame.
Because all of the boys who overblot were victims too. Not just Yuu or the others. They were hurting themselves just as much as others were.
And I hate it when someone like Vil is seen as a overly harsh person. Or someone like Leona who is only seen as lazy. There is so much more to them than that.
Vil respects people.
Vil sees how hard the people around him work.
Vil tries his best to show others their beauty in his way.
Vil knows that gems need to be polished from rocks before they can be embedded into a crown. But the work put in to get the gems ready is rough and long. And sometimes it looks harsh.
Vil learned his lesson after his overblot. There is no need to hang it over his head like blackmail. The same goes for the other overblot characters.
Riddle learned his lesson.
Leona learned his lesson.
Azul learned his lesson.
Jamil learned his lesson.
Vil learned his lesson.
Idia and Ortho learned their lessons.
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carowleysposts · 2 months
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Good Omens makes me feel scary things. Let’s talk about it.
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So, before I start, I think it’s important to clarify that I am neurodivergent. I have autism and GO is one of my strongest hyper-fixations ever. I am so emotionally and mentally invested in it I could talk about it for days on end and every single detail of this show makes me love it more.
But there’s a really really dark flip side to this love, and I would love to see if there’s anyone else who struggles with it too:
I think I care a little too much.
Although I am aware that this is somewhat “common” for people in the spectrum and my doctors all have confirmed I am not a complete nut case for it, I almost never feel comfortable admitting to those in my life that a piece of fiction has such a strong hold on me and my mental health. And as much as I love everything we’ve seen so far, all the little things I hear and read about season three give me heart-stopping waves of anxiety that are definitely not normal.
Like, I am constantly scared of what will happen, as if it was happening to me. And I know it’s embarrassing, but my brain is simply wired differently, and it feels so awful not being able to talk about it with my friends in real life.
Sometimes I feel like my day is ruined because I read someone say that they think S3 won’t have a happy ending, or that they probably won’t kiss or end up together or something bad like that. And even though I know it’s just fiction, it gives me stomach knots, as it is such a powerful part of my life and I think about is so much.
I have even come as far as to take breaks from Tumblr and mute some words on some social media platforms so that I won’t read Neil’s responses to questions - because they ALSO make me fear terribly and give me crippling anxiety, like when he said it won’t be romantic, or when he says stuff that make me worry for the future - and won’t hear speculation or even be reminded of other stuff people say.
And before anyone asks: Yes! I am fully aware it sounds absurd. And yes, i absolutely do feel crazy and embarrassed about it, but unfortunately this is the reality of many people in the spectrum and many neurodivergent people in general.
I do work, I am a ballet teacher and an author, so of course I have many other things to worry about and do and of course I have a life full of responsibilities and relationships and different pursuits to keep me from actually thinking about it nonstop. But still, even though I am busy and distracted most of the time, every now and then these feelings and worries come and punch me in the gut, and it completely paralyzes me for long moments. I feel kinda sick? I don’t know.
So I guess what I am trying to ask is: do you guys know of anyone who feels the same? Like, is there anyone else who feels like their mind has been absolutely taken over by fiction-related anxiety? And also: what should I do about it? I feel like absolutely no other piece of fiction compares to this one, and my mind simply won’t stop.
Help pls.
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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 months
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This is gonna wait a bit to come out of drafts, but I'm actually spitting mad at that exchange between me and another user about the distinction between assigned sex and assigned gender. Despite bending over backwards to avoid upsetting them or making them defensive, as an intersex person, I felt like they downplayed the significance of how assigned sex at birth is weaponized as a form of violence against both intersex and trans people.
So I'm going to state now. AGAB and ASAB are treated as the same thing much of the time, but will be used however works to enforce both sex and gender conformity. Even if perisex trans people - and typically those who have a dyadic-passing body - only experience the weaponization of assigned gender most of the time, intersex people experience both regularly. "Male" and "female" may frequently be used as adjectives meaning "man" and "woman" to be transphobic, but they are used entirely differently to enforce intersexism and altersexism, and some other forms of exorsexism.
As much as I hope someday that perisex male and perisex female will be treated as just areas within the spectrum of sex, they currently ARE different from intersex variations. I don't even disagree that bodies shouldn't be sexed OR gendered, and we should just refer to specific body parts, outside of contexts of intersex oppression.
How hard is it to listen to an intersex person who is saying "actually, people are assigned a sex at birth, it's just that if you're not intersex, you don't face violence about it and in fact benefit from it and hold privilege over intersex people"?!
How hard is it, when someone extremely gently says "okay actually, ASAB as a concept does exist and is important; but you're right that ASAB and AGAB are conflated, that sex itself is gendered because of the conflation of the two, and that both are used to uphold intersexism AND transphobia"?
How freaking hard is it, when I say "yes, but", when I'm AGREEING that AGAB is a thing, a thing that does massive harm - that "but I'm referring to your physical sex" is a bunch of bullshit - that yes in usage male and female are often used to refer to gender rather than sex, to acknowledge that assigned sex can ALSO be a problem?
How hard is it to acknowledge that assigned sex is a form of (colonial, often racist, intersexist, often transphobic, exorsexist) violence, that is as harmful and at least as prevalent as that of assigned gender?
How hard is it to let go of the idea that assigned gender is the only thing that exists or matters, just because you've universalized your own experiences?
If they are intersex, I am not aware of it, and would still like to point out that intersex people too have a wide variety of experiences. I, for example, have only experienced coercive hormonal suppression of my intersex variation, at ages 9-12 and 18-23 (if I have said before that it was only in adulthood, it's because most of us don't have access to pre-2021 memories due to trauma). I have not, to my knowledge, experienced nonconsensual surgery - it's still possible that I did especially given my infant (specific type of related) trauma, but given my early life history I am unlikely to EVER be able to find record of such.
(Being honest, I've suspected it more and more lately, but I still will not consider myself an authority on the subject or that specific kind of survivor without at least more evidence of such.)
Anyway, point being, even as an intersex person, it is possible to have assigned sex weaponized to various extents, and not consistently, either. Some people may have very visible intersex traits and have been lucky in not facing too much intersexism, while others may have more covert variations and faces extremely violent intersexism.
But is it really that hard to say "huh, I hadn't considered that viewpoint, if people of the [oppressed sex group] are saying that assigned sex is a thing and even that it also affects the people of [oppressed gender group] and how assigned gender is used to hurt us, maybe I should listen"?!
I just... just talking about how it's used in the context of assigned gender when responding to someone talking about other uses, and even asserting that the assigned gender type is the "primary" usage? Estimated numbers when including medically debated but community-accepted intersex variations put us at potentially ten percent or more of the population, so is that really the road you want to go down? because your claim might be revealed very simply as anecdotal bias.
I mean.
"we aren't assigned sexes. we are assigned genders based on our sexes, unless our sex is "too ambiguous"."
To start with, intersex variations are more than sex being "too ambiguous", and in fact precisely because so many intersex people have seemingly dyadic sex organs at birth, even those who don't undergo coercive infant surgery are often wrongfully assigned a dyadic sex at birth, and then forced to conform to that sex if their intersex variation at any point becomes apparent in any way. Often, if the intersex variation is not apparent in specific gendered ways, things like genetic results will be hidden from people by doctors so that they won't find out they're intersex.
And.
"just because society tried constructing sex and gender as the same thing doesn't mean that a group that is harmed by that idea has to promote it, you know."
Yeah, the solution to that is not "actually all terms used to refer to sex are basically only used for gender. It's harmful to conflate sex with gender so I'm going to pretend that everyone does it and talk about how assigned sex and sex terms are actually just assigned gender and gender terms. Well, primarily, since I have to acknowledge someone whose experiences directly contradict that, but they're an outlier and don't need to be counted. I'm not conflating sex and gender, I'm just saying that sex isn't a category that really exists in any meaningful way and is so heavily gendered that sex is really just gender.
Okay, maybe the outlier part is too snarky and not entirely accurate, but that's what it feels like.
I mean, the worst part is, I agree with most of what they're saying. I think "perisex" is a more important distinction from intersex than "male and female". I agree that bodies shouldn't be arbitrarily genderwd OR sexed and that ideas like "male and female hormones" are not only extremely reductive but are so to the point of often being actively incorrect, even within the context of the purely prescriptivist medical usage of male and female for sex specifically!
I even like the idea of using wolffian and mullerian to make it clear that they're simply two areas within a wider spectrum. I agree that sex terms are heavily gendered, though crucially one of the things I mentioned is knowing plenty of people who don't use them that way!
"Actually I know plenty of people who don't conflate sex and gender, and use sex as a descriptivist identity separate from gender."
"Okay but most people use male and female to mean man and woman".
Even if that's true, you're missing all of my whole points!
I just... am tired of feeling pushed aside as an intersex person, even when attempting to pander to presumed perisex egos. Is it really that hard just to make an individual who is of an identity that in my personal experience is more erased than my own, trans, nonbinary, and aspec identities collectively feel listened to?
We blocked them, which honestly I feel bad for. We were triggered and a protector did it and I don't feel comfortable undoing it, because of how badly triggered we were and how deeply unable we felt to express our own upset without them reacting emotionally in a hurtful way.
That could be the trauma speaking, but as we told our partner, "if you put up a hand to be like 'whoa hey wait a second' and someone pushes back lightly in response, it's pretty rare that escalating and saying 'hey! that's not okay!' will get them to back off and apologize. There's cases where it can make someone realize that you're serious about something important to you, but usually those cases require them already knowing you well enough to both recognize that and care."
Idk, it's not like they did anything so terrible. Like I said, I agree with them for the most part. Maybe I'm as angry at myself for not being able to be more firm and assertive about something that's critical to the oppression I face. I dunno, y'know?
But I just... I can't stand it. And as a brief aside, I feel like I'm living in a funhouse mirror upside-down world. I just got into an argument and blocked someone for saying that gender isn't actually a real intrinsic identity and that it's simply a social construct typically expressed through changing the actual concrete identity of sex, and now this, a discussion of how assigned sex isn't actually a real identity and that it's just the social construct of assigned gender and just.
SEX AND GENDER ARE BOTH SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS AND INNATE INTRINSIC IDENTITIES THAT ARE THEMSELVES DESCRIPTIVIST AND THEREFORE CANNOT BE PRESCRIPTIVELY APPLIED BASED ON ANY OUTWARD TRAITS OF BODY OR PRESENTATION!
You can basically identify as any gender or any sex for any reason. You can identify as male or female or other as a trans man, woman, or nonbinary person. You can pursue sex nonconformity but identify as male or female, or you can conform to a dyadic sex but not identify as either (such as identifying as altersex) for various reasons.
Someday, if we achieve true transhumanism, we might even be able to change any aspect of sex at any time, from the microscopic to macroscopic level.
Right now, we're stuck with a bunch of bullshit of people trying to shove two massive roughly bimodal distributions into two binaries that they don't fit into at all, and the resulting violence at people who defy and resist being shoved.
The trans community has as much a problem with intersexism as any other community, so maybe that's just why I have an expectation that especially when a fucking trans intersex person says "hey actually assigned sex does exist and it's intersexist and transphobic", that the bare minimum response should not be "but actually people mostly use male and female to mean man and woman so assigned gender is more of a thing and more harmful and actually sex is so gendered that most people don't actually mean assigned sex when talking about it".
Because I'm telling you that plenty DO actually mean sex, and that it's harmful, and the gendering of sex disproportionately affects intersex people. I think expecting someone to listen and not to essentially go "well okay but, I'm right about it just mainly being assigned gender" - to not argue however politely and speak over intersex voices... well, it's not fucking unreasonable!
I know that was not their intent, and honestly, that makes it worse. Because not being able to take criticism from intersex people when being intersexist, quite honestly, means you have the same impact as purposely intersexist people and makes you just as unwilling to change, but you get "credit" from other perisex people for "trying" despite not really doing so at all.
The fact that it's so subtle, and so "polite", the fact that if I assertively and vocally disagree I know to expect the majority of people to get angry and cruel and more overt with their intersexism, the fact that it's deflection and a lack of acknowledgement more than outright denial... well, I guess the closest word would be "microaggressions".
Used to make minorities look and feel "crazy" for being upset since oppression first existed. (Fucking reclaimed, btw. Don't @ me).
I dunno. I'm not eloquent. I'm a seething intersex person who doesn't have nice little words to appease people about this. It doesn't matter anyway. This is literally about how people didn't listen when I was nice about it, so who is gonna stop listening just because I'm mad about it?
Honestly, I think I'm most mad that - not once did they actually even say the word intersexism. Not once did they respond in a way that even acknowledged what I was saying about that, or my identity as an intersex person even. Not once did they even say "okay yeah I don't have experience with (this kind of) intersexism, my experience is of it being primarily used this way". Not once did they not only not express that their experience might not be universal, but that intersex people even face oppression for their sex. There was a token mention of intersex people at the beginning that didn't even include most intersex people, based on a misconception of what being intersex is.
At every opportunity, they redirected it back to the gendering of sex and using sex terms as gendered terms and even the idea that bodies shouldn't be gendered at all... all while never addressing the actual thing I was saying.
All while ignoring assigned sex as it pertains to intersexism and continuing to insist that only assigned gender was a thing, while not actually taking intersex experiences into account.
It's just... I don't fucking know. Just fucking listen to intersex people. Whatever.
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louroth · 18 days
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Forget the IF, just wanted to check in and see if YOU were okay dear author? I hope everything is well. I know you have a process lol, but I miss seeing you on my TL from time to time.
oh, kjsdhfjskdf . how sweet<3 thank you for this! I am doing well, crafting ouro alongside some personal shifts and growth and setbacks and victories. it has been a godsend to take all this pressure off for this period and do things my way. though, I'll say: while it has taken and will probably take another while, this silence will be broken at some point. I'll avoid saying soon only because I'm staunchly sticking to my pace&process. however !! I finished the draft for the first book yesterday. !! I am currently doing some hefty edits, collecting art and testing coding (&learning something new a hundred times over, over, again, whether it be storycrafting, interactivity, ui design, social media, art, code ... the list goes on) and so for the most part, I'm having a good time, as long as we count the entire spectrum of the human condition as a mostly good time. pfft.
I miss hanging out here too! I genuinely can't wait to get back to online shenanigans once I feel ready for it; if you'll have me, of course. I can imagine that this type of secret development is frustrating and everyone has their limit. It means a lot that you sent this my way. Hope you're doing well too. <3
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okay-babe · 2 months
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Hiya Dot! Sorry for the random ask but I am so in love with your writing that it single-handedly got me into this accursed fandom, and now I'm wondering where to start with other authors. Do you happen to have any fic or author recs??
Hi there, anon! I'm so glad you asked because I definitely have some author/fic recs that I'm more than happy to share with you/anyone else who comes across this post!
Before we begin though, shout out to all of the people I mention below! I hope none of you mind being tagged/linked but let me know if you do and I'll remove everything asap :)
1. Starting off strong, we have the amazing @jyoongim! She's been my mutual since I think like day one or two of me creating this account, and I honestly cannot think of anyone more kind or welcoming. Plus, their writing is amazing! Like genuinely so good, I cannot recommend her highly enough. 2. Also, if you're into smut, I am always utterly baffled at the quality of @hazelfoureyes' work. Like, as someone on the ace spectrum, I can say very firmly that sometimes, I don't want to read smut, but even so, I will always read a new post from Hazel when I see it because they're just so well written that I simply cannot wait lol. Plus, their sense of humor is just *chef's kiss*. Love them, truly. (Note: I used they/them here because I don't know Hazel's pronouns, but if anyone does and they aren't gn feel free to let me know and I'll edit this post asap) 3. Additionally, if you like headcannon style writing @a-hazbin-reader is incredible. I've spent actual hours on her page just reading through some of the absolute art she posts there, and it is always a treat. Plus her interactions with her readers are usually either hilarious or incredibly sweet/kind, so it's a good time all around.
As for story/specific fic recommendations, I do have a few of those too!
1. The Deer Dolly series by @ohproserpine (Genuinely incredible writing and a killer story line). 2. You & Me for the worst eternity to come by Notafraidtosimp on AO3 (Definitely not your typical x reader series, but I love everything about it and would never forgive myself if I didn't use this opportunity to share it with everyone). 3. The Partners in Death... and Life series by @safination (This might just be my favorite Alastor series I have ever read, the writing is incredible and I simply cannot recommend it highly enough). 4. Even Death Can Never Part Us by JuliaRobHURTS on AO3 (This is an amazing ongoing long-fic that makes me gasp audibly every time I see that there's been an update. The way the characters are written is utter perfection every time).
I definitely forgot some amazing fics/authors here in my haste to get this posted before class, so everyone should feel more than welcome to comment some other recs if they want to! <3
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hiiragi7 · 4 months
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Parts language is not dehumanizing, but the way people in the plural community treat parts language makes me feel dehumanized as a person who uses parts language.
I was reading that damn "Why the Theory of Structural Dissociation is Ableist" article written by Stronghold and released by the plural association (bluntly, I find it to be a very poorly written article - not in its strongly worded opinions, but because it spreads blatant misinformation regarding the success of final fusion based on a study the author did not understand, and I also find the piece to be incredibly ableist against systems who use parts language and seek final fusion).
Specifically, I want to talk about this paragraph from the article today, as I find it illustrates a lot of the problems that I have encountered in the plural community with regards to parts language:
Although I do not think personalities is the right term for us, nor is the word parts. It is derogatory, dehumanizing & it is taking away from our autonomy, roles and authenticity as individuals. And so I often wonder whether the alter integration they desire, equals just not being Plural anymore in the minds of the writers of Structural dissociation. If it does, it makes sense to diminish us to parts. And it also makes sense to claim “no one has to go away”, if they never believed we are separated in the first place. After all, it is the ‘experience of separation’, not actual separation, as they say, we did not split off. So was using the term ‘parts’ in 1987 progressive, or a step to further diminish, gaslight and silence us?
While I find questioning the intentions of the authors valuable and think it is important to explore whether any given medical intervention is truly aimed at individual wellbeing or whether its goal is normality and conforming to ableist ideas of what health looks like, I find it completely unnecessary to shit on parts language in order to do that.
This idea that I or any other system which uses parts language is "diminished" to parts carries the implication that parts are something less-than, undesirable, or have less value than systems which are not parts. This narrative is surprisingly anti-system for an organization which claims to be "empowering those with Dissociative Identity Disorder, OSDD and all other forms, labels and experiences of Plurality."
I am not diminished to parts; my parts are me, and I am a person. I cannot be diminished by my own personhood.
Additionally, the idea that parts language is "derogatory, dehumanizing, and takes away from our autonomy, roles, and authenticity as individuals" may imply that systems which use parts language are self-harming, that they are being derogatory and dehumanizing towards themselves, and stripping themselves of their own autonomy and individuality. This is an extremely negative and biased view of not only parts language but also those who use parts language as well. I use parts language for myself out of self-love, not hate.
Further, if we are to acknowledge plurality as a spectrum, then even if parts language really did mean system members were less individual from each other, how is that a bad thing? Median systems have long existed and have described their experiences as "different versions of me" or "different modes"; why is this fine, but saying you have parts as a system is not? Why is there such a focus on individuality and personhood to the point that it excludes those systems who do not experience their systemhood in that way? In what way is that inclusive?
Parts language should not be forced onto anyone, as it is important in general not to force a view of self onto someone that does not align with how they identify; yet, it feels as though people completely forget that rule when sentiments such as "your system members are 100% different people" or "calling your system members parts is derogatory and you are dehumanizing them" are pushed onto people as some sort of objective truth. That is just not how my system works; It would be just as wrong to say my system is not parts as it would be to say to a system who is not parts that they're actually parts.
Critiquing the language which medical professionals use to describe the experiences of their patients has its place, absolutely, however you must also have a level of respect for the people who relate to and use that language that all too often is lacking.
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always---wrong · 3 months
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Okay, so I wanted to discuss the situation with Alastor, his canonical sexuality, and fans.
I have seen the two sides alot.
So one side ships Al with numerous characters and sees this as casual fun.
And the other thinks this is disrespectful cause he is ace, or Aroace.
(I believe that he is Aroace. His va said so, his character has shown no interest in romance, and Viv may have confirmed it at some point)
Now, I am sex repulsed ace and I'm aro. And I have strong opinions. Alastor is my favorite character in Hazbin Hotel, he is also the FIRST confirmed ace character I've seen. (This doesn't include subtly implied characters) Because Al is the first and I care for him he is very important to me.
My opinion is really mixed because on one side it's; yeah, it is a fandom, and fandoms ship. It's what they do. Its also kind a rude to judge someone for their favorite pairings and stuff, in my opinion.
On the other side though I'm hurt. I am a queer person with basically no rep. And I hadn't realized how upset I was by this until I saw discourse over this character. I had FORGOTTEN that it was possible to have confirmed canonical ace characters. I had gotten so used to that just being a head cannon. And not only just an ace character but also an Aroace character. And not just that but a seemingly non sex favorable ace character. I would even argue he is sex repulsed.
My real problem with all this is:
Yes, I KNOW ace characters can have sex. But do you know who else can? Literally every single allosexual character. I KNOW aros can date. But you know who else can? Everyone else. The appeal of ACTUALLY having characters with the same sexuality as me is that they would be like me. Cause I and other aces like me never, ever get stories like that. So many times in media I would be enjoying a character who had shown NO interest in sex/romance and would suddenly be partnered up with another just for the heck of it. This has happened SO many times it's not even funny. It's incredibly frustrating.
So, the point I'm trying to make is that; YES, there are aces who have sex. HOWEVER, a large number of us do not. And it's like everyone forgets that. Your not writing Alastor having sex with Angel cause your showing the vast spectrum of asexuality. Your most likely writing it cause it's sex between two hot characters. It's simply maddening.
(One thing I wanted to say was, despite the fact that Al is ace i don't think it's bad to find him attractive. He is very pleasing to look at so I understand allos finding him hot. However I'm not sure where I stand with people sexualizing him. I think I'm leaning towards, 'please don't do it'.)
Now, the worst thing though is when I'm looking for content to enjoy. When I found out Al was canonically ace I was so happy and excited. I'm pretty sure this situation wouldn't make me nearly as frustrated if it weren't for the overwhelming amount of sexual content for Al. Some would be fine. I could just scroll past it if this were the case. But it is not. Content for Al is MOSTLY sexual. That's why I don't believe people when they keep saying they aren't invalidating aces because almost every time I go looking for a fic I have to scroll for HOURS just to find few non ship fics.
I can't even use the Asexual Alastor tag because all that does is bring me to a bunch of fics where the author is like 'he's ace trust me,' then proceeds to write smut.
Why can't I even use a tag made for aces without being drowned in smut. It's so frustrating! Like I'm getting to a point where I wish the authors would stop using the tag and openly admit they made him not ace for the story. Like I know your trying to not throw away his canonical sexuality but I mean at this point I think it'd be better if you did. And if someone is going to write sex favorable ace Al then please leave it to the aces. I trust us to at least weave it into his character instead of stating it and acting like it's there when it's not.
So basically: I don't mind if you ship him, just don't say he's ace or Aroace if your neither of those in ship/smut content. I'm sick of trying to find content that isn't sex/romance in Aroace tags!
I don't want to judge people for liking a ship. But I'm really tired.
ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, I would love to see content with Al and Lucifer. Like them hating each other to like frenemies. It would be so funny.
Anyone have any platonic content with Al and the rest of the cast???
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brilliant-red-eternity · 10 months
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Wouldn’t it be better to ship Akane with a guy who isn’t absolutely morally bankrupt or something?Not that she needs to be in a relationship to be happy or something.But isn’t Kougami just a serial killer with just extra steps😭I never got his appeal or how he became the definitive charecter for psycho pass when plenty of better charecters out there.The way people romanticise him(or his trigger happy tendencies lol) just because he’s hot doesn’t sit right with me.Absolutely no charecter growth whatsoever,literally causing problems for everyone by his selfish decisions.At this point I think Kougami getting killed to save someone would be considered his charecter growth.I don’t even see the case for Akane even being attracted to him in the first place.I am sorry.She’s extremely kind to everyone.That’s why she treats him like a human.
To be honest, I had a hard time coming up with an answer. You make it quite clear that you don’t think much of Kogami and how should I argue against it? It’s a matter of personal preference whether or not you have sympathy for a fictional character and want to understand his or her motivations. It’s true that Kogami is not the glorious hero of the story, but wasn’t that precisely the author’s intention? To contrast him with Akane and have him take a more pragmatic stance, leaving moral reasons aside?
I won’t see Providence until the end of August so I can’t really grasp where the negativity is coming from. My advice would be to not dismiss his character out of hand but try to dig a little deeper. Kogami is not some one-dimensional caricature. In the Psycho FES stage play, Akane says that Kogami is a person who “lives between violence and philosophy”. There is a whole spectrum of characteristics that he has, including very contradictory ones. Kogami is idealistic, but also arrogant. He’s courageous in battle, but cowardly when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He has a sense of morality, but doesn’t strictly adhere to it. He is intelligent, but makes stupid and harmful decisions. He’s selfish, but also selfless enough to sacrifice his life for a higher purpose. He fights his opponents with brute force like a beast, but his desire to protect the weak shows that he’s also a kind and compassionate human being.
Kogami is a walking contradiction. Most people are and that is probably what makes him so popular among fans. People can identify very well with a character who has flaws, screws up or fails as long as he tries to move forward somehow. The road to self-knowledge is rarely a straight line, so I can understand that his character growth (or lack thereof) may be frustrating for some. Providence seems to be another important transit station for Kogami and he appears to have learned his lesson. We don’t get to see his rampant violent behaviour in PP3. He also managed to survive three more years until he came to pick up Akane which wouldn’t have been possible if he had continued his self-destructive lifestyle with the SAD.
The term serial killer doesn’t fit him. Kogami isn’t a psychopath who wants to gain control over another human being, nor is he thirsty for fame. People seem to forget that he doesn’t kill law-abiding citizens but criminals and scum and it wouldn’t be a problem in any other action movie/comic book where the climax is always a final battle between protagonist and antagonist. I don’t want to justify violence and murder because it’s morally wrong, but other characters seem to understand Kogami well enough: Masaoka and Saiga assisted him with Makishima, knowing full well what the outcome would be. Ginoza helped him fight Rutaganda and said “I owe you” (because he killed Makishima and revenged his father’s death) before handing Kogami back Masaoka’s revolver and letting him escape. Garcia’s “mug shot” was already on Frederika’s laptop before anyone even knew this man was pulling the strings behind the attacks in Tibet. She probably supported Kogami so generously with expensive high-tech during his suicide mission because Garcia was on MoFA’s hit list all along. However, it is always Kogami who gets his hands dirty. If anything, it makes him an incorrigible idiot.
Kogami seems unable to look away when injustice happens. In this respect, he is no different from Akane who challenges Sibyl every time she sees a problem. They’re both stubborn, but Kogami’s desire for vigilante justice makes him a complicated character. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind is exactly why Akane rejects violence and defends the rule of law. However, the law didn’t protect people from Makishima under Sibyl and it doesn’t exist outside Japan. The law of the jungle creates only fear and instability, and innocent people get hurt. Kogami has accepted to be a tool in the lawless world and he may even consider it his fate. Is that selfish? It rather looks like he doesn’t attach much importance to his own happiness and treats his life as disposable. His selfishness brings him no advantages, quite the contrary. Kogami sacrifices his own salvation and it sends his life into a downward spiral as he becomes more and more detached from the people he loves.
I think Kogami is a baka but he isn’t morally bankrupt. While he claims to have no regrets, his actions and thoughts paint a very different picture. He tried to live without violence and killing in Tibet and he didn’t want Tenzing to end up like him. He openly admits to Akane that his way of doing things is wrong and he was haunted by Makishima’s ghost right after the murder which proves that he has a conscience. I think the only slip he ever had was when he told Akane to kill Makishima in Nona Tower. The scene emphasizes his selfish nature and just like Hamlet, he seemed willing to not only accept his own downfall in the pursuit of revenge, but that of others too. He also didn’t think about Saiga’s future when he showed up at his house after escaping the PSB.
Kogami has refrained from dragging others into his business since then and has kept to himself like a lone wolf. But no man is an island and his egoism remains a problem. I guess he won’t realize that his actions have an impact on others until he receives Akane’s letter as a wake-up call in Providence. It remains to be seen whether he’s willing to change his habits in the future or not, but I’m hopeful.
Regret and remorse are usually two different things. Kogami says that he has no regrets about the past when he talks to Akane on the phone and I think he’s sincere. He doesn’t wish to undo his decisions. In his view, the “dirty work” needed to be done and Kogami believes that he alone bears the consequences and the sorrow, no one else. That changes when he finally sees how much his actions affect and hurt others. Akane’s letter makes him helpless and angry. I think it’s clear that Kogami starts to feel remorse and to develop a sense of responsibility. Remember how Garcia said that Kogami would be living the life of a guy who never took responsibility for anyone else? At some point between PPP and FI, Kogami undoubtedly realized that he needs to apologize to Akane and that he needs to mend his ways. I would consider this character growth.
I understand that some people take a dislike to Shinkane and wish to find Akane a “better” man. I adore this ship but I’m not indulging in fantasies about Kogami and neither does Akane. She has learned to see him for who he is, especially since Shambala. Is it a surprise that she likes him anyway? That she still has faith in him? Kogami is not evil. He’s a man with good intentions who lost his way and nobody but himself can save him. Letting him die while protecting someone would be the easiest way out of his character dilemma so I hope they won’t do it. It would look like a death sentence with a quick karma reset. I don’t even want to imagine how Akane would feel about his death, especially if he died protecting her. There are other ways to atone for one’s sins: to help others, take responsibility and do good in the long run.
Kogami is indeed a brooding hot type of guy, but that’s not why he’s in the story. His purpose is to interact with the protagonist. Kogami started as Akane’s mentor and he inspired her to grow by challenging her. She soon surpassed him and confronted him with her own views about humanity, the law and the idea of how society should look like. They began to form two opposites of the same coin and it became the premise of season one and beyond. No one cares that Frederika kills vagabonds or that Gino shoots Peacebreakers. It doesn’t matter because it’s all about the contrast between these two. Akane’s approach is non-violent, that’s why Kogami’s violent approach looks particularly extreme. They’re like complementary colours where one colour emphasizes the properties of the other. She’s a disciplined person, he’s a wild animal. She looks like a saint, he is the epitome of a sinner. She operates within the system, he is on the outside. They’re incompatible. They’re also intertwined like yin and yang. Is it so outlandish that fans want to see the two of them together? Maybe. But it also feels natural, like holding two magnets with opposite poles together. I can’t help but feel the pull.
Akane doesn’t need a romance to be happy, I agree. She has friends and she completely dedicates her life to creating a better society for everyone. However, her options to influence the system seem exhausted at the end of Providence. Sibyl wants to get rid of her by promoting her to a less influential position in the Ministry. Sibyl also wants to abolish the law. Akane probably felt she had nothing left to lose and therefore killed chief Kasei as the final act of her career. I don’t see her having a happy marriage or kids and all that stuff but Akane shouldn’t remain alone like a martyr. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to experience love, especially in world dominated by algorithms and AI.
We all want Akane to be happy and I can understand your annoyance with Kogami. They’re not a perfect match, especially since they repeatedly find themselves in situations that are extremely stressful and existential. But every relationship is a learning process and a daily struggle. It’s a gain in knowledge about myself and the other, and it’s doomed if there is no forgiveness. Akane and Kogami have known each other for eight years but they have only spent a few months in each other’s company. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see what they could achieve together, now that Kogami is back in Japan and Akane is released from confinement? Akane doesn’t place much value on material things, and I doubt she cares about etiquette or social conventions like marriage anymore. She’s an outlaw just like Kogami. Their existence has become an act of rebellion against the system and since they both have been spiritually connected from day one, it would be great to explore their bond further and not just stop.
You said that Akane treats Kogami like a human being only because she’s kind. Is that so? When they first met, Kogami represented the exact opposite of the artificial world of Sibyl in which Akane grew up. I guess she was attracted to Kogami (and developed a crush on him) because he was a human being, someone from the mundane world, a world she thought had perished long ago: paper books, no holograms in his home or closet, file folders and photographs, physical strength and critical thinking. All of the enforcers had a different lifestyle, but it was Kogami who fascinated her the most. He had something archaic about him, something mystical and exotic. He was also quite masculine and Akane liked his physical appearance very much, although this was a bit more obvious in the novels where she described his face as handsome. Was Kogami her first love? Did she like the idea of saving him? I don’t know. Fact is that Akane wanted him to remain human, that’s why she didn’t like the term “hunting dog”. She didn’t want him to become a murderer because she genuinely cared about him. And even after that, she wished that someday they would meet again like two human beings.
Kogami’s obsession with Makishima made it impossible for him to understand Akane. Only on his journey did he gradually come to his senses at the sight of all the shitholes created by lawlessness and anarchy worldwide. After that, he tried to hold on to Akane’s words. He tried to live without violence and killing in Tibet. He saved a bus with refugees. He ensured that Tenzing did not throw her life away. He managed to shake off Makishima’s ghost and found the courage to return home. He allowed Akane to arrest him for the killing of Tonami and apologized after picking her up from the isolation facility. Is it just me or didn’t it look like Kogami was bowing to Akane, because his head and gaze were tilted slightly downward?
Kogami has serious flaws and a preference for violence, but he isn’t bad through and through. I bet we will see his character grow from here. Look at Akane’s happy face at the end of First Inspector ! If that doesn’t give you hope, I don’t know what will.
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humanityinahandbag · 1 year
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Something a ton of fanfic authors don't realize, especially the new ones, is that timing is EVERYTHING. Getting a story out one month after a show or movie releases very nearly guarantees more attention for that writer, sometimes in the long term for their stories within the fandom.
This isn't me saying you should be writing faster or that you're doomed for low readership. Not at all.
What I am saying is that judging a story by its hits is sometimes not the way to go.
And I'm not going to call out any titles or names because I'm not that type of person, but I will say is that I just read two stories within the Stranger Things fandom.
The first had something like 3k notes in total for about 11 chapters. It was stunning. Gorgeous. Written with so much care and consideration. The plot was well thought out and the ending had me in tears. It was published on the cusp of the New Year.
And then I went and looked at a story on the opposite end of that spectrum, written just about one month after the finale of the season. This one has about 17k notes for a one shot, adding up to roughly 1.5k hits per thousand words. The plot was fine. Nothing too insane or wild. It was fairly safe as far as stories go. But my God. This story was absolutely riddled in grammar mistakes, poor characterization, and spelling errors. And yet, were you to look up stories by hits, this one would be shown as the more popular one.
And that's the thing.
Popular doesn't mean better.
Do some stories get popular and have amazing characterization and plot? Absolutely! I've got a few that I reread, and I'm not so humble that I can't say I haven't written something I've absolutely adored and was honored to see it go to go up in notes. But if something I write doesn't skyrocket with hits, it's also not the worst thing ever.
Does it suck to go unnoticed? Totally. Is it nice to get attention for your art? That's a trick question. Of course it fucking is. It's the pinnacle of all things good.
But don't stake your talent on how popular your story becomes. Learn. Grow. Continue to hone your craft. And just remember-
Popular does not equal good.
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drchucktingle · 1 year
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hello! I really love seeing the thoughtful ways you answer all these asks, and as a bud questioning whether or not they are on the spectrum, the way you talk about your experience means a lot!!! If my question has been asked by many people over and over again I apologize and you can just delete this while knowing I appreciate your authentic trot!!
My question:
How do you deal with insults to your work? A friend has recently said some not so-nice-things about my writing, including comparing it to an erotica series the media has generally regarded as “bad” , and it really bummed me out. There was no constructive criticism in it. I don’t have the best self-esteem and it left me stumped to even write at all. I honestly strive to be as confident about my work as you are, no matter what anybody else thinks, but I find it increasingly hard. Instead of getting knocked down and getting up again, I am metaphorically just laying down. Do you have any advice on dealing with these kinds of things? Thank you!
thank you for question of 'how do you deal with insults to your work?' this is classic way all artistic buckaroos know.
important to make distinction of CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and INSULTS because if you are trying to deliver a message of art then hearing from others about how your message is delivered is very important. honestly bud this one of most valuable trots there is and great way to learn and grow
other times scoundrels are just lashing out and trying to cause a painful poke to your mind and spirit, putting a DANG raincloud over your good days ahead. usually it is easy to tell the difference.
but honest answer is this: if someone is MEAN about my art i do not feel BAD for myself, i feel bad for them. i have created this incredible thing that vibrates across timelines and proves love and THEY DONT GET TO SEE IT through their haze of devilish ways. this is tragic and my heart swells with pity to think 'dang you are missing out bud what a life that must be'
so the gnashing teeth and snarls of these sad devils IS not the sound of a scary bully, it is the sound of pitiful lonesome sadness. they do not get to trot in a personal timeline that includes MY INCREDIBLE ART AND HARD WORK and i have sympathy for them. they have no idea the joy they have removed from their life.
and there are buds out there who might think 'WOW CHUCK HOW ARROGANT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?' to which i say this: 'i am the worlds greatest author'
and they will say 'well what about bill shakespeare or dickens or orwell? are you saying you are better than them? are you saying you are better than me?
guess what bud: they are the worlds greatest authors too. YOU are the worlds greatest author too. there is room for everyone here at the top
so next time someone is a scoundrel about your writing just remember that you are the worlds greatest author and they are missing out
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The discourse about Sarah J Maas being called a Zionist is giving witch hunt vibes at this point. Nothing I've seen has been conclusive at all. Just because she's a Jewish woman who went on birthright doesn't mean you should loudly denounce her as supporting genocide.
I am a Jewish woman who is pro-Palestine — so, not a Zionist — but who loves her Jewish diaspora culture. I have anti-zionist and non-zionist Jewish friends who went on Birthright because it's a free trip abroad. I know Jewish people who are staunch Israel supporters and I have Jewish friends going to pro-Palestine protests. Jews are not all one thing, and in fact it's ingrained in our culture that we have NEVER been one thing. There are Jews of all races, of all levels of religious belief, across the political and socioeconomic spectrum, scattered across the world.
If I were a semi-public figure (I say semi because Sarah has been clear that she is not the one posting on her public accounts and she doesn't have much interaction with fans outside of tours) people would probably have loud assumptions about me being a Zionist because I am publicly Jewish, I was a Jewish Studies minor in college, and I used to work at a synagogue. Guess what? I'm not a Zionist. I donate to UNWRA monthly, I do my clicks for Palestine, and I do my best to support with what I have. As a multi-disabled person that's all I can handle right now. If I were a semi-public figure I don't know if I would feel comfortable posting anything publicly either, because people are vicious and terrifying creatures. Sarah has a husband and child. She had gotten threats about fucking ship wars. This is so much more intense than ship wars.
Making these loud assumptions and calling for boycotting SJM, commenting on her social posts even though she isn't the one reading those comments — this is what antisemitism looks like. I know those of you who are angry at Sarah won't want to hear that, or will say that 'everything is antisemitic now' — which is a refrain that should raise red flags since it's the same argument other people use about transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc. You're the good guys, you support Palestine and you're anti-genocide and so on. But using stereotypes about an ethnic group to make assumptions and harass an individual of that ethnic group is not a good look even if you're convinced you're doing it for a good reason. Take that energy and put it toward spreading awareness, contacting politicians, attending protests, maybe even sharing messages from public figures who have posted publicly.
I understand that a lot of non-Jews (and a small number of Jews) are saying that it "has nothing to do" with Sarah being Jewish, it's just that she hasn't "used her platform." I implore you to consider why you are seeing and sharing such anger toward this one (fairly private) Jewish woman and not toward other prominent authors, especially those who are more active online, who have also not spoken out. Do some soul-searching and many of you may find that because Sarah is Jewish, you feel that she owes you a public stance more than other people. Because she is Jewish you feel confident enough to make an assumption about her views and post publicly about these assumptions. That is antisemitism at work. That is why this feels like a witch hunt to me, and why it is upsetting to watch.
As a reminder, I am pro-Palestine. I am not posting this to defend anyone. I am posting this to remind everyone that Jews are not all Zionists. Jews are not all one thing, ever. And deciding you get to hand down judgement on a Jewish person who has not shared their views publicly is antisemitism. It is deciding that you can assume negative things about Jewish people from afar. It is deciding that some antisemitism is actually okay — good, even, if you think it's warranted. I understand that people have other qualms with her writing, but those are not tied to her Jewishness, they're tied to her doing things like using the name Illyria and Illyrians for her ACOTAR series, etc, which is the kind of thing other fantasy authors have done over the years. Doesn't make it good or right but it certainly doesn't have anything to do with Palestine or Zionism.
If you disagree with me, please do not send hatred into my inbox. I am asking you to interact with this post thoughtfully. If your disagreement is going to be an explanation of how Jewish people owe the world every ounce of our energy, health, safety and lives, please step away and take a breath. I do not share your opinion. I have great admiration for those risking life and limb, risking jobs, risking arrest, to support Palestine. However, not everyone should be *required* to do all of those things, especially if you're disproportionately expecting those larger actions from Jews, thinking we "owe" it to the world.
Also, I want to be clear: This is not really about whether Sarah is a Zionist. It's about the fact that we don't know, and you cannot pretend to know. Most of the arguments I'm seeing are making a lot of assumptions, and that is the part that makes me uncomfortable.
If Sarah ends up being a Zionist, I still stand by this post, because it isn't about defending Sarah, it's about my hurt and disappointment in seeing people make assumptions rooted in antisemitism, assuming someone's views based on Jewishness and little else.
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swordsandarms · 10 months
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This is a reply in regards to this post, which highlights the high likelihood that, whether people are fine with the author's choices or not, RxL is written by him with romantic nuance as far as the text goes. @sahtinekryze
And I think this fandom really needs to have a honest analysis of the idea of "selfishness" in narrative choices such as this, which is that when it comes to how the whole "duty vs love" scenarios Martin writes, he does not actually writes it with some wide spectrum ranging from selfish to sacrificial. There are usually no other choices than the two.
Could one define the alleged choice of breaking a noble marriage contract that would have negative political influence at the least, had it been the best case scenario (which one would logically assume the two might have hoped for instead of very lots of people dying including themselves) as 'selfish', which in its very definition is doing something for one's self, though it may not be advantageous for others? Yes.
But as I said, Martin doesn't write a middle ground. There's that, or Lyanna marries an unwanted man and is hence forced to have a non-consensual relationship with him, and forced to carry children out of a noncon relationship, so that her male relatives can reap benefits of political power, as well as her groom through her womb. And as shows inspired by these books love to show us very graphic such cases (like Daenerys in GOT, or the storyline given to show!Sansa, or the changes for show!Alicent in HOTD), I am sure fans should have learnt better about the accusations usually thrown at Lyanna in fandom spaces in regards to being another woman marrying against her will in a society where a woman cannot say no, marital rape isn't recognised, and a husband is "just taking his rights": that "this is just being whiny". (There are many other examples in the books; the author is also not holding back on what unwanted or unsuitable marriages mean to women.)
Against the fanon idea that she is some wild, demanding, conceited girl, she doesn't rage, she doesn't bite. She has a tentative, soft spoken conversation with her brother about it and her reluctance in the matter, and is (nicely) dismissed.
Had she not (allegedly, while all is unconfirmed) fallen for the Crown Prince and he for her, there is no one else powerful enough to extract her from her situation (her male relatives having made up their own minds in the matter), nor anyone else to go from where she cannot be recovered by a powerful and connected family and fiance. No one else she could marry/sleep with that wouldn't be shut down and covered (as seen with Tyrion or Lysa) to preserve the higher price for which her womb can be bartered. Just no other viable choice that wasn't the other end of the scale: a woman being sacrificed by men, for men's uses.
As I said at the start, this is simply how Martin writes these conflicts of "mind and heart". He corners the characters. There is no light at the end of the tunnel that isn't also sort of "selfish" and "dumb" looking on the surface.
This can be applied to more such situations in the text-
Catelyn undoes the already precarious state of her son's campaign by releasing their most valuable captive. She has not even a guarantee that her 'selfish' act for love will work. But there are no options she's given. No one else cares to make it a priority to get her daughters back. The only other choice is to let it be and let 2 girls be sacrificed in marriages of ill intent to use their wombs and discard them, unsure if she will find anything left of them but Lannister named babies when this is over. It is "selfish". It is "dumb". Yet she's cornered.
Jon makes the decision to go fight Ramsay Bolton because he's run out of options and he's cornered. Arya is allegedly in the hands of the family that have viciously killed a number of Starks and taken Winterfell. She is 11 and allegedly married. He is made sick at the thought of what is being done to her. He's tried the "lesser" tactics of getting her rescued without being seen as trespassing the status quo of the NW publicly, by sending others for her. But it was always going to come to this. Ramsay guesses (or finds out) that his escaped bride would make it to the Wall. Keeping "peace" and "doing his duty" instead of "being selfish and dumb" is handing over "Arya" himself if she even makes it to appease the Lord of Winterfell, sacrificing a girl to an unwanted marriage meant to use her for her womb and discard her.
There are no actual choices when there is no actual scale in between "selfish and dumb" and the sacrifice of a girl (or, you know, 2,3, as many as Westeros would swallow as it did for millennia for this or that Lord or King to amass and keep power), whether they are Lannisters trying to get Winterfell, or Starks extinguishing the line of the Warg King.
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pathetic-sapphic · 10 months
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I loved your recent fic. If you are comfortable, would you mind doing a fluffy hurt comfort jinx x fem reader who is on the autistic spectrum. Super smart and one of the few people who can keep up with her but is constantly anxious about everything they do since like her they got insulted and bullied for being "off" the only person they feel totally comfy and safe around is her because she is the only person to treat her like she's not stupid and she utterly adores jinx for that.
Jinx with an autistic S/O
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Tags: Jinx x fem! Reader, authors note at the end
Disclaimer: I am in no way a mental health professional nor am I on the autistic spectrum so if there are any mistakes in what I've written, feel free to let me know.
When she started dating you, Jinx was overjoyed that she found someone so alike her, someone with similar wit and experiences. She felt so safe and comfortable around you, she felt like Powder again and she was over the moon when you told her you feel the same with her.
Is always there to comfort you whenever you have your lows. You're always there for her whenever she has episodes or feelings of self-doubt and although it takes a while, Jinx learns how to be there for you too. She often tries to distract you by making you laugh, but if that doesn't work she will hold you as long as you need her to.
This also goes for your anxiety. If you're feeling anxious about a particular event or something you said or did, she does her best to take your mind off of it. If she notices your fidgeting, Jinx interlocks your fingers with her own and holds onto you tightly so that you know you have her support. Is always there to reassure you that your worries aren't stupid or unwarranted, she understands that you can't help it and makes sure to dispel any remaining doubts or anxieties.
Janna forbid anyone even looks at you wrong, let alone tries to bully or insult you. This will make them into a perfect candidate for Jinx to try out her new weapons and bombs on. After she takes care of you and comforts you, she is after them and no one is going to stop her from taking her revenge. You're her sweetheart, her cute trinket and no one gets to say anything different.
Jinx loves your brain and your thought process. She'll often let you in on the stuff she's working on in hopes you'll have some good advice or ideas. She also encourages you to help her decorate her inventions with some cute doodles of your own! If you help her make a bomb, she jokingly calls it your lovechild.
All in all, Jinx loves you so very much and she is delighted by how well the two of you match and get along. She loves spending time with you, whether you're cuddling, talking or just enjoying each other's presence in silence. You're her beautiful, smart girl and she will protect your fragile heart with her life.
a/n: thank you for the request, dear anon! i hope it's alright that i wrote hcs instead of a fic and that you will enjoy reading them :)
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mirrorofliterature · 6 months
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don't get me started on the booker apologists who think that his being "queer" (because Greg Rucka said he's essentially bi and on the ace spectrum in a private discord chat, lol) absolves him of having a self-centered, amatonormative world-view.
the very fact that he thinks nicky and joe's queer romantic love shielded them from all other forms of loss/trauma/etc just reinforces the fact that his personal version of amatonormativity is not contingent on heteronormativity!! I don't know why people are choosing to be deliberately obtuse about this very valid point you made (other than woobifying an angsty white dude, as usual.)
I did stumble across that and I found the way people were treating that as canon very strange. I amended a post where I called Booker straight with this:
I am now aware that Greg Rucka has in a discord message confirmed Booker as queer. This is not canonical, however. It’s very not publicly available word of god. Until it is included in the next movie, it is not movie canon and I will continue to call him straight, because to the movie watching fan, that’s what he reads as.
It is even less canon than authors tweeting out that a character is x sexuality or confirming it in an interview - and I don't personally care that much what the author says outside the story. I find it very strange that people are weaponising booker's 'queerness' to absolve him of his sins. Like, queer people can be shitty, too.
I'm not sure why people are so desperate for him to be so when the film is chock-full of interesting and dynamic queer characters, but I digress. Just because Booker being bi and ace is Rucka's headcanon doesn't make it canon as it is not in the film - if it's your headcanon, that's cool, but Booker is not canonically queer. There is nothing that implies that he is bi or ace - I would have noticed, particularly the latter.
And you're completely right. Being queer does not prevent people from being amatonormative!
This is a really poignant ask. I think that what a lot of people disagreeing with my interpretation comes from is these people do not understand what amatonormativity is. It's not jealousy, it's devaluing all relationships outside of monogamous romantic relationships. It is implicit in Booker's words and is unlikely conscious on his part, but it comes out in this canonical line: 'you two always had each other!' Romantic relationships do not stop grief, or racism, or homophobia, or - millions of other horrible things nicky and joe have experienced.
All my posts really stemmed from a deep frustration at Booker's just absolutely selfish narrow tunnel vision - because Nicky and Joe lost their first families (their parents/siblings/nieces+nephews), experienced centuries of discrimination, AND lost quynh.
anyway booker's issues are not nicky and joe's responsibility - they have their own recovery to worry about.
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