#I actually saw one of those interviews where the interviewer was kind of implying there was something wrong with it
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I'm late to the party like you wouldn't believe, but I've got to say something, because I'm so upset!
Okay, unpopular opinion, I actually loved Jaskier's Season 3 hair!
Was it always perfectly styled? No. There were a few scenes where I personally thought it could have used a bit more volume, or a bit more volume in some places while a bit less in others; but, most or the time, I was more than fine with it, and thought it suited Jaskier well!
At times, I literally adored it!
Ex:
To me, those are moments where I thought Jaskier looked his best in the series! Loved the hair!
Then again, personally, I tend to prefer Joey's looks with his forehead cleared and his hair longer.
Like, this is I think one of the most gorgeous non-feral hairstyles I've ever seen on him:
(X)
This is an absolutely gorgeous man, and I personally prefer his hair styled like this than short.
(Note: I'm not saying he's not beautiful with short hair, too, simply stating personal preferences. Certain aesthetic choices are based on comfort, too, and he can 100% afford to sacrifice the "long haired look" for something that makes him feel more comfortable. He can rock plenty of different looks!)
Then, of course, there's the feral look that is just in its own category...
So why am I upset?
I've just found out that he didn't wear a wig in Season 3!
That Jaskier's Season 3 hair were simply Joey's own hair that he had decided to grow out.
And look, I'm fine with everyone having preferences!
That's not my issue. Having your own tastes and not being a fan of Joey's Season 3 hairstyle is not the issue at all!
There were posts simply mentioning that they hated that it looked so flat, when we could have been graced with something a bit more like this:
And I do get preferences when it comes to styling.
It's just that I recall how - since people assumed it was "an ugly wig" that had been forced on his head by the wig department, rather than what they considered "a bad hairstyle" - the comments on "Jaskier's hair" were at times downright nasty!
And I just gotta get out of my system that those of you that have been literally making fun of his "sudden 4-inches receeding hairline" (first I'll have you know I find receeding hairline pretty hot!), when it's kinda remained the same for 3 seasons (it's called BANGS people. Joey tends to wear those with his shorter haircuts! Look it up!), for example, really suck!
His hairline has always gone pretty far up on each side, even in some of his earlier work... Ex: Gopher in "Mount Pleasant" (2016):
Like he's got very thick hair that form a "V" shape at the top (my mom had that, but I didn't inherit it... And we've got tons of hair... Like, a lot! * ) and a pretty large forehead.
*
(That's me at 18, and then at 28 - before I brought them back to a lower back length - but my mom is the same in terms of thickness, she just has that V in the front I lack, and it never receeded any further in her life.)
And there would be no shame in having thin hair, or any form of baldness anyway!
So yeah! I remember sort of heavily ignoring all those "ugly wig" comments because I, too, had assumed it was a wig (turns out Joey's hair seem to be a bit like mine, and grow pretty fast), and at some point you choose your battles.
Did I think a bunch of you were immature assholes for needing to hate on that "ugly wig" so much? Yes. But you find those in any fandom!
Personally, I thought "the wig" was awesome!
But now, I kinda regret not having taken the time to be more supportive of Jaskier's Season's 3 hair given I actually like it...
Because that's just a (very sweet) human being's hair, that was styled in a way that a number of people didn't like.
Again, zero problem for those that thought it was badly styled, and that the look didn't suit Jaskier!
Critiquing what you find a "bad hairstyle" is no cause for shame!
But, for those of you that took it to the next level with all those "ugly wig" comments, you fucking suck, I sure hope you've since found out that you'd been openly ridiculing a fellow human being's real hair, that it makes you feel like complete pieces of shit, and that feeling like complete pieces of shit is going to help you learn from your mistakes, before you start attacking other people's personal physical features in the future!
"Well, I didn't know!"
Here's today's lesson:
When you don't know, please kindly shut up and assume the hair you see is the real thing!
Or critique the wig like you would a real hairstyle, asking yourself "Hmm... Is describing someone's real hair the way I do going to make me sound like a bully?"
Like I said, I'm aware I'm pretty late to the party, but the the kid in me that got heavily bullied in school over her own hair really needed to get it out of her system!
#Joey Batey#Jaskier#'s hair in Season 3#I remember Joey mentioning in an interview that people just kept “asking about the hair” this season#And most of the time it wasn't really a question...#No wonder he went “People ask me all the time: Wow! Joey! You're so good at baking!” I his video#If people tend to ask him questions that are non questions...#But yeah I'm kinda sad about it...#Hope the fact that the “hair comments” left him confused was because he didn't read the online ones...#Just had interviewers go “Season 3 hair...” implying there was something odd about it and somehow waiting for Joey to elaborate.#I actually saw one of those interviews where the interviewer was kind of implying there was something wrong with it#without explaining what was wrong with it...#Like everyone assumes Joey didn't like his Season 3 hairstyle and gets why they are all getting stuck on the hair...#So anyway he just explained the intent behind the look.#But yeah it kinda sucks the way there was like this massive negative reaction to his hairstyle when I literally can't find anything wrong#with it...#It's not even that far from his usual look (just a bit more ironed)...#The fuck happened with the hair...#My Post#My Thoughts
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forgetting me, forgetting you
It's not the way that jeno doesn't look at you the same. It's not the way of him chasing after a girl and leaving you behind in the evening downpour. It's not the way jeno said he didn't even love you that night. It's just nothing but your broken heart.
pairing: idol!jeno x fem!reader
genre: smut, fluff (kinda), angstt
wc: 4.8+k
warnings: minors dni, unprotected sex, oral (m, f receive), spitting, kind of meanie jeno, implied exhibitionist, degrading, praising, spanking, teasing, fingering, tons of pet name, hard and soft sex, etc etc, you know when i said idol and fan relationship its just so unreal as well as how their jobs work lmao ((i had a problem to make this at least a lil bit realistic) also not seem too delusional but- just pls dont @ me, i mean its a fic)
! how embarrassing that this shit got posted accidentally (i hate tmblr) my pupils were literally shaking lol. for those who might accidentally saw this (i know theres not even a soul who cares abt it..) ofc i had this to be revised also its inspired by rv song, in my dreams, (originally the title for this one but i changed it!) i might also have songs recommendation, its [coldplay-yellow > conan gray-astronomy > yoari-dice game > exo-hurt > davichi-forgetting you > red velvet-in my dreams]
Everything was pandemonium from the start. You saw jeno in person for the first time in the concert venue. Yes. He is the singer. That singer. A born-talented, handsome, lovable idol from nct. He didn't even know you were there, in the crowd of audience hyping his band up. Never in your dreams you thought you'd met him in person, but fate brings you two together. It was what you believed until then. Fate brings your jeno who has never been yours in the first place to kindly remind you that he will never be yours even at the end of the time.
You worked hard for your pay. You work as an employee (that mostly work for dreamies) under jeno's company after you earned your post graduate title while studying in korea. That point when you made it out, you never even thought that this was a real chance to finally get him.
That's just insane, to get lee jeno, in a somehow, romantic way. But you tried anyway. Ordinary person with an extraordinary person? Or can you just say idols and fans relationship? That jeno from all the people living on this earth? Mostly impossible. Those who live around you will think you're crazy for wanting someone who literally exists in a different world from you. Even though you're 'coexisting' with him and seeing him from time to time, that would not be enough; so near yet so far.
It's so hard to work under the company and let it flow at first. Without a will, you'll never get what you want. Even though this one is nearly impossible, you attempt to keep the mindset that revolves around you: it will work if you try, try, try and try.
But it's useless. Who do you think you are? You can't even be allowed to speak nor get close to him except if it's necessary. It's hard to work with him like a normal acquaintance. To them, to jeno, you're simply invisible.
However, you did make it clear enough. No surrendering. That's the least you can keep in mind.
But again, he didn't even spare you a glimpse.
Then there was this day when you two were put together in the same dressing room, waiting for some interviews coming up. There's actually no reason for you to not share the same room because technically, you're their regular staff. The rest of the members and other staff were nowhere to be found, it was you and him. You and jeno all alone in the same room. You nearly choked yourself when you were about to open your mouth as jeno scooted to where you sat.
"Hi." He lightly started the conversation. You swear to god you can hear your own heartbeat. Keeping yourself calm and professional, you hum and put the sweetest smile to him. "Hello."
"I'm so sorry if i sound rude, but i believe we're around the same age? I've been seen you around and i just knew you're a regular staff in here," you intensely stared at him, eyes widened in disbelief that he just casually-
"We can be friends if you wan-"
"We can?!"
-asked you to be his friend.
Realizing you just replied to him in 0,023 seconds, you covered your mouth and muttered 'sorry' to him. He just laughed. Oh. That laugh.
That's when you feel like you two were 'getting closer' as he asked you to be his friend for some idiotic reason (u really have no idea why the universe would gave you this kind of, miracle, you'd say, but you're fucking grateful).
Of course you can be friends with everyone. Also a staff (fan) and an artist couldn't be an exception, right? But once again who are you kidding, lee jeno is super busy, and you should know it could probably the friendship that only lasts for four hours.
You didn't meet jeno for weeks and you missed him so bad. Sometimes you got to talk to him after he befriend you (tho it happens only if you had that rare chance) but both of you didn't get a long time to properly talk and have a good conversation. And it's been a long time, you just missed him.
Did he perhaps miss you too? Did he ever think about you even just for a split second? You shake your head from the thoughts and scoff at yourself. He probably already erased you from his memory. And that night, you drifted into a deep slumber whilst thinking about how he wouldn't remember you.
―
But you were dead wrong. That day was very hot because apparently, it's in the middle of summer, and you were called for a job in a broadcasting house which happened to be the same place for the band to attend their schedule.
You're standing in front of a vending machine, getting a drink when you hear someone call your name. You turned around and found jeno, looking at you with his smiling eyes.
"Jeno!? What are you doing here?" You can't hide your pearly whites when you see him, so please meet him again after a while.
"We're having some jobs here. How about you?" He asked.
"Um, me too! But mine's still running, i take a little coffee break right before come back to the site. Have you finished yours?"
"Yes, actually," jeno scratched his nape awkwardly before he continued. "Uhh, do you perhaps want to meet me after you are done? Just for a sec?" He asked.
"Sure! I'll text you when i'm done?"
Yes, you both are having each other's numbers but can't even communicate a single thing through it. He didn't text you. And you, being the one who shamelessly asked for his numbers which he gladly gave it, never once texts him because as you can see, you're being professional enough to keep your words that it's only for the matter of work.
"Cool." You both smiled to each other and stood awkwardly for a good seconds until jeno left.
So, did he just wait for you until you're done because he said he just finished his schedule? Is that even possible for him to do that?
The answer is yes. Though with a little bit of delay. He asked you to meet him after you're done, just to have you wait for him in the nearby cafe for nearly 20 minutes.
Jeno: uhh hi its jeno
Jeno: im so sorry for keeping you waiting
You: oh hii
You: nah its okayy not a biggie
Jeno: its the manager hyung, i told him i have to go somewhere but you know its hard to cooperate with them :/
Jeno: look i promise it will just need to b arranged real fast okay
You: okaaay i know youre busy you can really take your time tho
Jeno: so sorry ;(((
You: jeno its fine :*
You: :(
Jeno: thanjk you for the understanding ;)
Jeno: ill be there in.. 5 mins?
You: ill be here waiting!
You were smiling like crazy reading his texts. All you did was blushing and heart skipping while replying to him. He was so cute. And it's the first time you guys exchange texts. And he did it first! (how its a big deal for you)
Then there he is. Entering the cafe with a little skip and making a bee line to your table then sit down in front of you.
"Right on time." He said jokingly. You just chuckled at him.
"Sooo what's up? What is it that you wanted to talk about in your very packed schedule, busy bee?"
He exhaled harshly before replying. "Nothing. Just wanna get out and have some fresh air."
He averted his gaze to yours before continue, "with my new friend."
You raised one of your eyebrows at the boy. "Yeah? I thought you already forgot me because i was just simply a girl that worked at your company," you talk as you fold your hands.
"Why would i? I'll remember you anyway. You once fell in front of me when you were about to open some door and that actually was funny as hell. Shouldn't laugh but i can't help it. Oops. Should have not told you this part too..."
Your face heated in a second, and yes, you did that and it was humiliating and you felt very stupid. That time you were about to enter the conference room at the company building, but jeno (also the other members were there) was opening the door at the same time, unfortunately you stumbled on your feet and ended up kneeling at his.
He take a glance at you again then continue. "And you're pretty pretty."
You immediately looked up to him. You can't explain how his sudden confession affect you so much and leave your heart throbbing like crazy.
Fortunately you can keep your act.
You chuckled and replied, "and what's that supposed to mean."
"I'm just saying that you're beautiful."
He surely knows how to mess with your heart.
"And i'm getting worried that your eyes might have a problem," you laughed, more to laughing at yourself.
"No. I meant it."
You looked at him again, flustered, and he smiled when he saw you taken aback. A mischievous smile to be exact.
"Are you flirting with me?" Of course you were kidding. Asking that kind of question sounds nonchalant, even have no shame. But you had nothing to lose anyway.
"Would you accept it?"
You blinked rapidly, your heart beating so fast in your chest, your palms were sweaty. He got you questioning yourself on how you can not fall for him even more? It's getting even deeper every minute you spend your time with him. He's dangerous.
You were stunned for a moment. You felt like your cheeks burned, they're emitting flame. Your head short circuited for a while yet all you can think about is jeno. Jeno jeno jeno and jeno. The moment you can't hold it back from spilling, you just let it burst.
"I like you."
Oh, you don't even care anymore about your image. The moment you spit that you felt like the most stupid, dense person alive on earth.
"I know."
He responded in a heartbeat, and you felt fire burn a hole into you.
"You what?"
"I said i know. I noticed. And i do to."
"I'm so lost." You started to believe that you're out of your mind.
"I'm saying that i like you too."
Your pupils doesn't even falter when you stare at his face. You might just scream or gasp or even cry, but you were too stunned to speak, the way you were so calm also surprised yourself. You shake your head as you doubt your hearing and gave him a bitter smile.
"You're joking."
"Yes."
Your eyes widen from his answer. He's such a prankster.
"Jeno!"
He laughed. His laugh is so carefree but feels shy at the same time, that is just screaming lee jeno so much.
"So what am i supposed to say? You already heard me."
"I'm just trying to seek clarity." You narrow your eyes playfully. Now you don't even know where the confidence in you came from.
"You're my clarity."
Now that sounds straight up came from a song lyric.
This whole time you think that you're crazy for wanting lee jeno, but here you are having a little cafe date and knowing him to have the same feeling as you are.
-
"Ah!" you squeal as your head thud against the hard surface.
"Sorry," jeno apologized as he giggled, then continue to peppering kisses down your neck.
Both of you were alone in a room at the backstage, making out like crazy before he bring you to the nearest table and pin you down. You sigh blissfully, thanking heaven every time your bodies this close, that you finally have jeno for your own and not anybody else. It's not the first time that he finally touched you, but every single one of his touches feels like the first time.
Oh, of course that didn't just happen in a night. He's been so sweet and kind to you that you mistaken his deed as something more than platonic relationship.
He bought you food. He told the manager to drop you off at your apartment at night when the schedule's over. You both go to the staff's cafeteria and eat lunch together. You offer him to go cycling together when he's off, and he did. He lent you his airpods when you lost one. You brewed his morning coffee. He called you one night and said that he's missing you. You asked him if you can do the same, texting or calling him as a normal friend would do despite both of your jobs. And that one night where he sneaked out to your apartment just to say that he wanted you.
That moment you thought everything is indeed possible.
"Jen! Wait!"
He's currently railing you stupid at the backstage.
Now both of your hands were on the wall, legs spread open for him to easily pound you from the back.
"Shit, this pussy's so tight." He slowed down, dragging his cock precise and keen, watching how his length appeared then disappeared inside your pussy.
"You like that baby?"
Your ears are buzzing, eyes fluttering, you only mewl and all you can hear is squelching sounds from how wet your pussy is before he sped up, skins clapping resonated all over the room.
When you didn't answered, he stopped and brings your hair to a ponytail then yanked your head up so your back is now against him as he whispered, "i said, am i fucking you good, little slut?" Well he can be cruel sometimes, but both of you know his mouth isn't that dirty on daily basis. He's just having his moment.
"Fuck yes," you finally speak.
Jeno railed into you again, he prop you to stand up, right hand on your hip, clamping so hard it'll leave bruises, and left hand grasping at your jaw to make you face him, his lips ghosting between your ear and lips, heavy breathing and all.
When he brushed against your earlobe, he whispered right onto your ear, "open your fucking mouth."
You obliged, as he bent your neck back and you presented all of yourself in front of him, he spit into your mouth. "Perfect. Keep it there like a good girl you are."
Jeno started to pick up pace again, this time hitting your spot deliciously over and over, sending you to the cloud nine.
You agape as you moan, all while your mouth full of your and his spit, nonetheless making an effort to keep jeno's words but you're already drooling all over your chin.
"J-jen.."
"Shh, no need to say a thing baby girl, keep your pretty mouth shut."
Jeno suddenly lift you up and prop your back against the table. He's hovering over you, tapping your cheek, oblige you to open your mouth again, and spit another glob into yours.
"Now keep that warm and safe, you could do that, right angel?"
He asked and you only nodded in response. "That's it. Now let me make you feel good."
He spread your dangling legs by pushing on your thighs then dragging his hard and big cock along your slit, making a quite lubrication.
You're a whiny mess, never in your life you thought you'd have sex with lee jeno in a random room on their backstage, and he's pretty wild at the moment.
Before you can process a thing, he's already on his knee, eating you out slowly. You tug at his hair and hoist your hip up, but he's keeping you in place. He's taking his time, kitten licking at your opening with a slow pace, sucking softly at the clit, but it already making you tremble and wanting more. He's keeping the act for a while before the frustrations hit you.
"Jeno, hurry the fuck up."
He stop doing his ministrations, and as he pissed off, he suddenly lift you up again, your front pushed to the nearest wall.
"What did i just say to you? Shut your fucking mouth. Don't fucking speak. Why did you speak?"
He landed a couple of hard slap against your ass, making you yelp and shriek, "i-m sorry, please," your head drooped, your body trembling, but not from fear.
It's excitement.
Another slap on your ass. "Please what? Tell me, angel, what is it?
He kneaded your flesh and put his length between your ass cheek, nuzzling it sensually, and it made you bite your lip hard, can't take his teasing no more.
"Please," you almost sob. "Please, jeno, fuck me."
You beg, and he immediately bend you fully over again, both of his hands were on your hips as he fuck you into oblivion.
"Princess wanna get fucked. What she wants, she gets."
He kissed his teeth before he rammed into you, hitting that sweet spot precisely over and over again it felt so good. Your hands and legs almost gave up, but he grabbed your hip in place. As you moan and scream for him, he keep chanting that he want you to come for him.
"Jeno, i'm fucking close- fuck," your hair is tangled, you're a drooling mess, your eyes rolled up. He fuck you so good it leave you dumb. Jeno's hips never once falter, he keep fucking into you rapidly as you whine non stop.
"Fuck, come all over me. Come on," he encouraged you.
"Coming!" You're a moaning mess, pussy can't help but tightened around him, making him curse under his breath. He continue to pistoning as he chasing his high, prolonged your own orgasm.
"Fuck, gonna cum," his thrust remain steady until it finally stopped, buried so deep inside you as he fill you up to the brim. Jeno finally pulled out, your hands and elbow propped against the wall as you arched your back while bending over, giving him a full sight of your ass and pussy overflowing with his cum.
"Shit.." jeno cursed as he ran a hand through his fringe.
You felt your bodies emitting fog from the fever, glistening with sweat.
Just after that, you both heard a knock and someone's shouting.
"Are you guys done there? Jeno, get your loud ass out there right now, we're running out of time."
You wouldn't miss whose voice it was.
It's fucking na jaemin. You felt embarrassment creep down your spine when you realized he found out, although nothing like the rest of the members doesn't know about the relationship you two have. But still, caught red handed fucking in the backstage with his band mate is a little bit..
"That's embarrassing.." you sigh while covering your face, making jeno chuckled as he patted your head.
"He'll get used to it." He smiled like a puppy, as he not merely fuck you senseless just now.
-
You said that it's embarrassing. But it seems like you're liking how unusual things did give you some thrilling sensations you can't explain. Since then, you've had sex with jeno in the void meeting room when everybody's leaving from work. It's giving you anxiety on what if someone's barge in, or the worst-you'd get kicked out from the company and never ever get the same job even at the different place again-but funnily, you can't resist the good feeling jeno made you and the realization that you were actually enjoying the shit, eventually not giving any fuck if someone know.
Another day of you and jeno spending time together in the same room, giving some different kind of affections to each other. And you're just too afraid to say something; to ask him: 'what are we?' Because you couldn't be more happy with what's happening between you two now. And tonight is a bit different because you feel your heart ache in the way he hold you as he won't let go.
"Jeno.." you arched your back when his tongue trailed from your abdomen up to your breasts while he attempted to unclasp your bra.
After freeing the flesh, he mumbled in awe, "beautiful."
He latched his tongue on your nipple, swirling it with purpose, to make you even wet just for him, and him only, just like the way he liked it.
"Fuck, it feels so good, don't stop," you pulled on his hair, a signal for him to keep going.
"Yeah? You like that, pretty girl?" Jeno kneaded on your swell as he sucked again on your nipple.
"Louder. Moan louder for me." And that's what you did. Your fucked up sounds is a music to his ears, railing him up to the extent where he just wanted to sink in you.
Jeno cupped your sex, your panties were damp in arousal. "Shit, look at you. So fucking wet." He slid his fingers up and down your panties before he slipped his fingers in. You whimpered when his cold digit met your folds. He only play with your opening and clit, but it already drive you crazy. You're practically drooling, he's collecting your essence on his fingers before he bring it up to his mouth, tasting your arousal. You huff and puff, look already fucked up before him when he barely did anything.
"So pretty. So fucked up. So needy for me."
All you did is fucking whine. Lee jeno is driving you insane.
"Please," you plead. "Jeno,"
"Hm? What is it princess?" He asked with a sweet mocking tone.
"Fingers. Want your fingers inside me." You sternly told him, but your gaze was infirm.
He chuckled then replied, "of course baby, you'll have it. But later. I have to taste you first. Will you let me?"
He asked for your permission and what on earth is stopping you from letting him eat you out? Of course you would never say no.
"Pleasee," your whiny voice made him smile from ear to ear in satisfaction.
"Love it when you beg."
Jeno get down to eye level with your pussy before dive in. Your hips wouldn't stop thrusting up to him and pulling his hair, his strong hands looping on your thighs. At this rate his face buried deep between you legs and tongue prod into your cunt, exploring your hole, lips trying so hard to swallow you up, open mouthed kiss at your pussy, sucking and lapping. He's eating you out like there's no tomorrow.
"Fuck, i think i'm gonna cum."
Jeno chuckled, "already? So spoilt."
Jeno bring his fingers down and curled the digit expertly inside your pussy, you're wiggling like crazy when he reached that sweet spot that got your pussy tightening around him, then he sucked your clit hard, made you cum in instant at his doing.
You gradually came down from your high and stared at him in the eye, begging.
"Jeno, please, let me suck you off."
He feels like he's flying up the cloud seeing you prettily begged for him. Then he smiled, "can't say no to a pretty girl like you."
You bit your lip before you kneeled in front of him, taking a hand of his hard cock and kissed the tip. You hold onto his balls while you licked and sucked along his shaft until your tongue met with the tip, then sink into his cock, swallowing him whole. You bobbed your head up and down, sucking in intensity. He groaned and bring his hand through your hair, while he got his head thrown back against the headboard.
"You're doing so good baby, keep going."
He hissed painfully, his muscles clenched and his grab on your hair is getting tight. Your left hand massaging his balls, mouth sucking at the tip, the other hand stroking the rest of his shaft.
"Fuck, i'm not gonna last." He hold your head and thrust into your mouth, chasing his high. Your gagged sound heard all over the room, eyes pricked from tears. His groan went louder and that's when he came all over your mouth, and you swallowed all of his seed like a good girl, his good girl.
You lap all of his fluid, cleaning his cock clean, and lick your own lips.
"God you're pretty." His stare full with admiration, then he caged you between his arms, locked your lips with his in a passionate kiss. Tongue dancing with each other, nipping at one's lip. Both of you moan into the kiss, until he break it first.
Your back arched so high, hips pressed against his own, wanted more just than kissing him, but he pushed your belly down and leaned in.
"Need you now. Need to make love to you."
Once again, your heart sank at his confession. You're already tearing up as he pushed his big cock into you, soon picking up a steady pace to thrust between your wall, all while kissing you out. His kiss felt so soft and sweet, but also fragile at the same time. Your bodies met, no space in between. You hug him tightly, so afraid that he might just run away or disappear in the blink of an eye. He made you feel so good you're crying, can't even think or talk straight, your mind felt numb.
That night, you remembered vividly the last word he said before you passed out.
"I love you."
-
The rainy night made you feel all lazy. You wouldn't get up from bed if you just didn't feel the urge to go to the convenience store and fulfill your craving with some warm food. You're definitely starving.
You take out your umbrella because it's still raining, but as you nearly arrived, it's became a drizzle before it came to a stop.
You fold your umbrella as you walk closer, but before entering the place, you definitely saw jeno at the dark aisle between two buildings; making out with who the fuck you don't care, as if someone could've not just pass by and saw them two passionately changing spits.
You froze in your place, can't even walk any closer to where jeno was. You felt anger bubbling up to your chest and at the same time, you can't help your heart from breaking into pieces.
But as someone's controlling you, you suddenly stomped on your feet, making a way to them with balled fists, and you nearly scream when you call him out.
"Jeno."
The two broke the kiss after couple of seconds as if they're unbothered, both dripping from the drizzle. He turned at you, eyes dark and indicating that he wasn't even surprised to see you there.
But then he opened his mouth, "how th-"
"What the fuck?" You cut him before he talk, spitting your anger out, voice all husky and spiteful, extremely vulnerable at the same time.
"Who the fuck is that?" Your eyes burned from restraining tears roll down your cheeks.
"What happened with the other days when we literally spent time together? Yesterday, you just- we just- fuck, i- i thought you just said that you lo-"
You can't help but blubbering, can't even say the last word you meant from spilling out. It's too much.
The girl he was making out with tried to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.
You scoffed, speechless.
Did he just stop her?
Sickeningly, he just walked by you as he made a way out while dragging her with him.
You swear you just felt so fucking dumbfounded. He didn't even say a word since earlier.
When you can't hold your tears back again, you break out and scream his name out.
"LEE JENO!"
He looked back from his shoulder, but he still put the same blank expression in front of you before he chuckled.
"Well. Looks like i've got nothing to explain since you already saw it."
Still standing with the balled fists, you can't even talk as you were trying so hard to figure things out. Why the fuck did he do this? Did this to you?
"I believe you're capable enough to think with your little brain, princess."
Suddenly, the rain started to pouring again, leaving you all soaked up gradually.
He's giving you the nastiest smile he have ever showed you as he made his getaway with the girl and said,
"Wake the fuck up. I have never loved you."
―
And that's when you wake up from your dreams.
As your eyes fluttered, you felt tears running from the corner of your eyes, making your sideburns damp uncomfortably.
This fucking whole thing is a dream. A dream that's so real.
No wonder that all of it was happening so fast; and absurd.
Now you can't even think of jeno the same way anymore if you see him at work.
You checked your phone. Of course it's december. You laughed bitterly at yourself when you realized you trapped with jeno in your dreams when it's fucking summer. You swear you can even feel the heat. It just felt so true.
You get up on your elbows then cursed under your breath before muttered to yourself, "never thought you'd love and hurt me at the same time."
And it's not even in the real world.
Is it better because it's just a dream? Or is it not because the real thing is even more an awful truth you need to accept?
That's when you realized that the meaning of impossible is literally as it is. It's the time for you to understand that both of you is poles apart, that he is different.
You'll never ever get him, and you need to forget him; as he might already forget you.
#nct angst#nct smut#jeno angst#jeno smut#nct hard hours#nct dream hard hours#jeno hard hours#nct dream angst#kpop smut#kpop angst#nct imagines#nct scenarios#jeno scenarios#jeno x reader#jeno fic#lee jeno#nct dream#nct dream smut#nct fic#nct fanfic#nct x reader#nct dream scenarios#nct dream imagines#nct dream x reader#nct drabbles#jeno#nct#nct imagine#nct scenario#nct drabble
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January 2024 CPNs 🍭🍬🍪
starting off the year strong with some good old candies that puts a smile on our faces. i have to say that this month has some challenges because tho we have sweets, there were some outside voices that affected some of us in a negative way. being a bxg is a continuous learning process, and i hope all of us get stronger and learn that xz and wyb will always be the priority. we will respect them. we will be kind to them. and i guess that’s the good thing about monthly recaps like this, a reminder that bxgs live the good life! 🫶🏼
now let’s review this lovely month… ⬇️⬇️⬇️
• New year’s eve candy goodness
• Additional NYE clowning, one of the set props for WYB’s stage, is a clock. It’s not set as 10:05 in an obvious way, but if you turn it just right you will see the 10:05. Most likely a coincidence but who knows.
• ZZ & WYB featured in Elle Japan
• 1/2 yibo official weibo video post
• Probably a coincidence but in WYB’s interview he mentioned that one of his favorite Actors is Sean Penn. Understandable. However people are screaming cause “Sean” is also XZ’s first name. lol. Was this an additional point to like the actor? 😂
• 1/4: Yibo cat photo cpns
• XiaoWangZi = Little Prince
• 1/6/23, photos onset of ZZ’s new drama went on HS. to be expected, cause it’s in hengdian and anything related to ZZ’s project is bound to get some paparazzi interested. there was also some talk that the project might have shared it intentionally to stop the malicious rumors that the drama wasn’t actually filming. anyway, the CPN in all this is that a new CP was born 🥹🥹🥹🥹
baili is mostly paired with shiying — who is a favored person to be shipped with xieyun. so it seems like baili doesn’t have his one & only. so maybe zanghai can be that person. and both their stories include court politics so it’s perfect.
• The Boys & their late night city adventures
• ZZ & WYB + Mimi the Cat
• A new/old snippet from their thailand fanmeet rehearsal where they wanted to hear each other’s voice on their earphones
• WYB smiling cause he heard XZ’s sample/demo for the song tomorrow will be better during recording
• 1/11 zsww rumor : cutting their hair
• 1/12 same light and shadow in studio post caption & another wedding outfit
• THEM WITH A KID 🥹🥹🥹 it’s giving suo-er vibes!
• Weibo Night recap & candies
• yibo is seat #23 and then xzs posts their video at 00:23. what a coincidence 👀
• same brand heurueh bits
• In his SINA interview for Weibo night, he was asked who he prefers to go with during vacations and he answers friends. but before saying that he stuttered. you all know how we are with XZ and his stutter, meaning he is changing his answer or is a bit nervous cause the true answer is revealing. Tell us, who do you really wanna go on vacation with? 😏
• The boys being tourism ambassadors of their hometown which led to them being featured in a newspaper
• A fansite posted a series of photos showing how XZ signed the backdrop for Weibo Night. It clearly shows how he looks at WYB’s signature and the decides to sign right next to it. There are videos too that show this much better. I guess this one depends on people’s interpretation. I think those who are anti cpf will see this as a coincidence and say that XZ just signed randomly on the side cause the other spaces already look crowded. But then again, you can’t deny that he saw WYB’s signature. He knows what it looks like. They both spent so much time signing stuff together during CQL promotion so it’s safe to say that he recognized it. If they are sworn enemies like some people love to imply, why would he sign near WYB’s? This is pretty clear to me, it’s his way of being right next to WYB. 🫶🏼
Here is a closer one posted by someone who attended, you can see how close they are.
• an assistant in weibo night who took care of them both & who seems to be their friend
• matching lawsuits of anti fans
• both of them showing up at loreal annual meeting to give their messages
• our boys love to stay hydrated! 💦💦💦
• a video from SDC where the OP said WYB’s reaction was due to their wangxiao headbands. I know there are a lot of toxicity and fanwar that happened because of SDC fan support and there is some narrative from his so/os that WYB hates us. so/os are free to hate on us but i don’t think it’s ever right to project that onto WYB who is like the most accepting person. let the fan wars be between the fans, don’t bring WYB into it and claim stuff that will put him in a negative light.
• mystery tennis photo where people clown that he could be with xz. but i personally think he is just with some friends, but that doesn’t take away the possibility that he plays with xz 🎾
• GQ caption similarities and sexy backs - and i think the biggest takeaway from this whole GQ drama is that fans should remain rational and we should trust the boys and their decision. I have talked about it initially here, but that was more of calling out fan etiquette than the cpn implications. some bxgs really fell into the brainwashing package of solos and i wanna discuss that here cause this fandom is not only about candies but being firm in our belief. you had shrimps saying wyb is the enemy cause he is all cozied up with gq, and some bxgs bought that. they were “disappointed” with wyb and made up stuff about him doing things against his will. then the same people were slapped in the face when yibo continued to work with him for his album which is about as personal as it gets. only a few respected wyb’s decision and trusted in him & xz. motos are saying gq will never work with someone like xz cause he is the enemy, and that’s why wyb is comfortable with rocco and team. which is proven to be wrong now cause he is working with them. who knows, they may even do a full feature for LOCH. this is a lesson to bxgs, do not rely on solo sob stories to make sense of zz and wyb cause they only see one side of the story. they were always okay with GQ. Maybe GG was hurt at some point but he moved on and so should the fans. i just hate the feeling that ZZ & WYB were so happy with the collabs they did with GQ, in the meantime, BXGs who are supposed to understand them the most were nowhere to be found. we should do better next time.
there are serious efforts out there to make us turn against one of them, and use cpfs as anti minions, so we should be more careful.
• BJYX and Tennis 🎾🎾🎾
• Their Ordinary Life - a translation of a post made about their lives as normal people, and riddled with known CPNs.
• the connection between the tod’s strap included in xzs 2024 media gift box and wyb’s alleged gucci strap accessory in SDC 5
• early cpf story
• new clue from a drawing of a cake 🎂
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from a 2018 interview with Dr. Ghassan Abu Sitta on his experiences treating protesters wounded by the IOF during the Great March of Return:
"By 7:00 P.M., the system was on the verge of collapse. There were more injuries than there were beds, or operating rooms, in all of Gaza. Patients at al-Shifa were waiting four to five hours to get into the operating theater. At al-Awda alone, we had seen 120 gunshot wounds, and we were only a 3-operating room, 70-bed hospital. Every single case needed some kind of surgical intervention. And then suddenly there was a decision by the organizing committee of the march, I believe, to start pulling people back because they realized the system was basically about to collapse. By 7:00 P.M. it had become apparent that over a four-hour period, the number of injured had reached 3,500, with around 1,500–2,000 of those being gunshot wounds. Other than the 120 gunshot wounds at al-Awda, we had a lot of gas inhalation cases. And this wasn’t tear gas but nerve gas. These cases have continuous convulsions for an hour and need close monitoring and intervention in the form of anticonvulsants.
... The following day, the number of injured actually dropped because the whole of Gaza was in a state of shock: there had been 63 killed, 44 amputations, and 3,500 wounded in the space of four hours the day before, meaning that we were looking at something closer to a World War I–type carnage than a demonstration. The drop in casualty numbers allowed us to take on more cases: by day three, we were beginning to look at reconstruction for the previously injured and to really start to figure out what we would need for them. And the initial waiting list of 500 I mentioned earlier had more than tripled: there were now 1,600 cases that needed reconstructive surgery, that is, repeated surgical interventions were required to reconstruct these injuries.
Can you give us examples of specific cases?
There were lots of cases of what we call 'fragmentation bullets,' historically known as 'dumdum' bullets. Fragmentation bullets were the first weapons to be banned in international law because the very point of that particular weapon is to maximize injury: a fragmentation bullet fragments into 20–25 different pieces when it hits the body. We saw lots of those. A guy came in one day with two bullet wounds, one in each of his ankles. From the trajectory of the bullet, we could tell that this was not a 'through-and-through,' that is, when a bullet penetrates one limb, exits, and then goes into another limb. These were two separate bullets, and the fact that they were both lodged in his ankles meant that they were fired at the same time or else he would have fallen. This man was shot at the same time by two different snipers.
So, it is very likely that the two snipers were coordinating with each other to target this man, that it was not an accident. They must have been talking and saying let’s shoot this guy, I’ll take the right ankle and you take the left. That is what this injury implies.
Yes absolutely, it was not an accident. It’s like a game, a sport.
... Tissue damage is all about the transfer of energy from the bullet to the tissue. So by definition, by their very nature, 'regular' sniper bullets have the highest form of energy and therefore the amount of damage that they are capable of causing is immense. But what we saw is that even these bullets were being tampered with by the snipers to allow them to behave like fragmentation bullets so that they would release more energy as they hit the body. They were drilling the bullets in such a way as to weaken the tips, so that once a bullet hit the body it would fragment into multiple pieces.
... The Israelis understand that the world counts the dead and considers the injured or the wounded a lesser crime, so to speak, and so it is an attempt at creating an 'iceberg effect': that is, a situation where what is apparent is the killed but the real crime is in the wounded [who are not as visible] and the type of wounds that have been inflicted. To have 13,000 wounded in a place that counts
1.8 million people ... that figure bespeaks a battlefield, not a demonstration."
By the end of 2019, occupation forces killed 322 demonstrators (x) and injured 35,600 more (x), including many thousands with severe injuries leading to long-term disability (x). IOF snipers were documented shooting unarmed protesters with the intent to kill (x), as well as targeting kneecaps to permanently disable protesters (x). Their targets included children, paramedics, and journalists. Many protesters were left with long-term disabilities and trauma (x). This is how the occupation responds to unarmed resistance (or what liberals call "peaceful protest"): with "World War I-type carnage" that "bespeaks a battlefield."
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Saw your post about Nancy not being a particularly social person. I notice she's always listing off names of supposed 'friends' (sleepover at Ally's) or implying she's meeting large groups of people (S1 meeting people from school at the diner) to Karen when we never see her interacting with them. Do you think any of these friends actually existed in the first place? I noticed on Murray's board in S2 about Barb, there was an interview with a "school friend" so I wonder if Nancy and Barb were part of a larger group as acquaintances but exclusively best friends with each other? I also wonder why she feels the need to put up a front in front of Karen that she's more social than she actually is?
This is a really great question, thank you! I’ve actually thought about this a lot, especially when planning that post.
Hawkins appears to be a small town, so that is the basis of how I’ll be interpreting things.
In season one, Nancy and Barb don’t appear to be high on the social ladder, but they also aren’t low enough to be actively bullied. We know absolutely nothing about Barb’s social life outside of Nancy, but it’s very possible that Barb had a few school friends that she wasn’t as close with. If she did, I imagine that Nancy knew them, but wasn’t particularly friends with them herself. Nancy would have talked to someone other than Jonathan and Steve when she went missing, if that were the case.
Every example of Nancy specifically mentioning the name of a friend are all used in the context of a lie. None of them are ever even referenced again in passing. I’m fairly certain that Nancy is not going to sleepovers with Ally, or anyone else, after Barb. However, Nancy acts like she expects her mother to be familiar with these names. This is where small-town Hawkins comes into play. People just know each other. No matter how introverted you are, the smaller the town, the more familiar you are with All of your classmates, and the more familiar your parents are with many, if not all, of your classmates. It’s inevitable.
This leads into one of the most important points; Nancy is introverted, but not a hermit. She is NOT a social butterfly, but she is fairly socially adept. My understanding of Nancy’s social situation at school is that she is generally well-respected, but not especially close to anyone. According to Robin, she has somewhat of a reputation for being a priss because of her closed-off nature. In contrast, not only has years of close proximity forced a level of familiarity with a large portion of the school, but Nancy’s work for the newspaper has also required her to talk to many of the students. She’s friendly enough with plenty of people, but it’s different to talk to people for the sake of talking.
Season one shows us that Nancy is aware of social expectations. This may have changed a bit over the years, but these expectations matter to her on some level. She does change her behavior to be more socially acceptable, and this is something that may occasionally push her out of her comfort zone. She does occasionally go to parties and other ‘group’ things. She even invited Jonathan to the Halloween party in season 2, but as I mentioned in the previous post, if it weren’t for the trauma, Nancy likely would have spent the entire evening just sticking close to Steve and/or Jonathan. I’m uncertain how much she actually likes those kinds of group events in general. In her senior year, I imagine that she only went to activities she could write an article about. This is somewhat because she was very lonely that year, and somewhat because she seems to have matured a little out of that need to shape herself to fit the expectations of the people around her.
As for Karen, I’m not sure how much of a front Nancy puts on. Each of the lies we know about, have a valid reason for existing. However, I think Nancy is putting up a bit of a front. Nancy has been through an extraordinary amount of trauma over the course of the show. Trauma that she couldn’t tell her mother about, even if she wanted to. She doesn’t want her mother to see how much she struggles, so she puts up a bit of a happier/more social face. She also isn’t exactly close to her in the first place, so it’s easier to dissuade misplaced concern and uncomfortable conversations if she hints at having more friends than she actually does.
To circle back to your first question, I think those ‘friends’ are people she’s acquainted with at school. They’re people her mother has probably met, or knew of, because of this or that throughout the years. I don’t think they are people she hangs out with. I don’t even think I’d go as far as saying they sit together at lunch. Once her comfort people are gone in her senior year, Nancy seems more like the type to then work on the newspaper or go to the library, if that’s allowed, during lunch.
This all may be me projecting onto my favorite character, but sometimes people just don’t have friends in high school, even if they aren’t one of the bullied outcasts. Nancy genuinely seems like this is the case. She values close relationships, but doesn’t really have any. She’s lonely partially out of her own design and personality, and partially because of tragic circumstances. She retreats into herself, or into work/projects, when things get rough. She can become very driven and single-minded on an goal, making other things fall to the wayside. All this makes it difficult for her to connect to others, and probably makes her seem more intimidating to others than she actually is.
#this all also makes me appreciate Robin even more#cause that girl just checks all the perfect boxes for nancy#it also makes me appreciate jancy too#Nancy is able to understand and relate to this strange outcast boy far more than any of the popular kids like steve#nancy wheeler#stranger things#st meta#nancy wheeler meta#rae answers#hope this makes sense#but I'm not going to spend forever reworking this so have what i would blurt out if you asked me in person#this was a really fun ask tho#i could spend forever discussing this kind of thing
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I saw your tags in my post!!!! AND I'M SO SURE YUI PARENTS ARE DEAD!!! But they died when he was still really young so he doesn't really remember them. I'm so curious on what other people think about his childhood. In my mind he was a chaotic child who performed tricks for his Aunty.
Oh! I'm glad to hear that bc I had a similar thought over the series ^^
The way Auntie says it in the first episode, it really does sound like... she promised his parents a long time ago, and it is something much-mentioned between the two.
I actually have a theory based on Auntie's appearances and what she says, that she decided to make a kind of larger white lie about herself to Usagi, and that she is actually his grandma and for some reason has asked to be called auntie. So many if us assume that she is literally, his aunt, but the way I understand it as a non-native speaker, auntie in english can mean an elderly woman as well, regardless of actual familial connection.
there's also how the japanese dub has translated her as obaa-chan, grandma, which can be used for any older grandma-age lady too. then also how Stan Sakai calls her Usagi's grandma in interviews.
so where I'm getting to with this is that maybe it's a painful topic for her, whether it was her sibling or her own child who died, but it seems she's gone through a lot and maybe omits details about what happened to Yuichi's parents. In any case, she had made a promise to Usagi's parents and we don't know much beyond that. If we go more into headcanon than theory territory, we could expand on what's implied in the show. What if besides looking after the boy, they also asked her to promise to look after him as her own? And so she became Auntie, instead of only Grandma.
Or it could even just be a personal preference! I have an aunt thru marriage who right-off-the-bat requested to be called by name instead of "aunt" or "auntie" because those monikers felt old to her.
Perhaps for Usagi's auntie, it was similar and she felt that because he couldn't experience having parents, at least he could experience having an auntie, and that's what she asked for him to call. Not an older grandma, but an experienced auntie. Altho that's not what those words have to mean, it is just speculation from me based on how she's written. Also, because she seems to be a war veteran (the prosthetics and experienced skill despite her old age), she might have things to hide. so perhaps she prefers something familial and close what a family member would call her, but not her full or real name, as perhaps the boy's parenrs would have called her.
Just some thoughts!
My theories on what actually happened to his parents range depending on what I take as a jumping-off point for the theory. Easiest and most extreme example; Perhaps the wars were recent and they died there? Maybe they even had more kids before Usagi? Because Usagi's name also includes Yuichi tho, with the meaning of "first-born brave son", perhaps not. Another theory I had earlier in s1, is that they went to the city, related to their farm, perhaps they needed investors or were doing business of some kind. What happens next branches off - it could have been a simple mugging or other crime that left them vulnerable or hurt enough that they couldn't get help anymore.
One of the theories I have is that it is related to some gang wars that took place over 10 years before the events of the series and Usagi's 16th birthday in ep 1. I'm going to use this one in my Neo Edo Idol fanstory because it seems to fit the best there ^^ It's implied by how the three main gangs in the series basically exist in a corrupt way where they can both tell the Shogun what to so, but are also sequestered off into their of territories, that probably things weren't so great before, but under the semi-corrupt Lord Kogane, they exist in a standstill. So maybe Usagi's parents found their ends in whatever went on with the gangs 10+ years ago.
If we tie it with the fact that a big criminal was alao going around the city causing problems, mentioned in Gen and Toshiko's flashbacks about their mom's praxis, we can get another interesting connection. Maybe Usagi's parents were victims of this black wolf. There's even the theory that maybe... this could be related to Jei, known from the comics and that this character is a nod to him. Whether a descendant or a random black wolf possessed by Jei, it is an interesting nod. So 2 things could have happened. Or any number of things really! Mainly I am thinking, maybe Usagi's parents got hurt by Okami, and died then and there; Possibly, they could have been hurt by either Okami or anyone or anything else, but then couldn't get help because the city's only working hospital was closed because of him. It's interesting to think about! I hope someone else makes these connections in their Usagi Chronicles fanstories as well :)
Anyway, this became a whole big tangent answrr lol ^^; but thanks for talking about this! lolol I love talking about this sjow and Usagi's parents and what happened to them, any details about them... they are like one of the biggest unknown mysteries to me haha and it would be really cool to get something like a FAQ or some companion piece/comic where we get more fleshed-out lore for them too ^^
Of course, since the series was made inspired by Senso and Space Usagi, it's likely we'll never find out, but it's fun to think that maybe the writers, storyboarders and showrunners all hax some small ideas about his parents, and that these ideas simply weren't used for time reasons...
Thanks and feel free to ask/talk more!
#ranarenee#auntie usagi#so cool to get a samurai rabbit ask!#long post#yuichi usagi#yuichi usagi parents#samurai rabbit#usagi chronicles#srtuc#aghhtreplies#aghht srtuc posts#fan theories#plz don't take these as canon :*) i just like construing from canon but a lot of fanstuff can just be made up
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Yesterday I woke up from a dream where I was in a horror-movie-esque reality show where people die in the challenges and if you get “voted off the island” by the judges they kill you. Thrilling right? Well, all of the participants were these adolescent children who looked like Rainbow High and Madoka Magicka characters (so that was terrifying).
When someone lost a challenge they didn’t just get shot or something: every few challenges they have this formal broadcasted going away ceremony where all of the losers would go on TV with their families and be interviewed one last time before “moving on to a different place”—meaning they take them back in some private room and give them a lethal injection like in The Giver. One of the women doing the interviewing was new and really wanted to capture raw drama and emotion from the participants. Acting super sweet, she crouched down and asked this one boy to tell her what he *really* thought about all of this. (He was a cute little black kid with a monochromatic orange color scheme because RH.) When she did this, the kid laughed in her face and violently stabbed her with a pencil, causing her to need to leave the set for medical attention. Good on that kid.
After the kids were taken away, there would be exhibits made about them with a lifelike statue of them in the room where they’d lived during the show. The idea was that by the end there would be a collection of these in house they’d been sharing and people could come see it as a tourist attraction. All of the exhibits were super cute and feel-good and just wholesome and commemorative of these “sweet kids who moved on to a new place”. After the going away ceremony, I went into the room where they were building these with one of the other participants and we watched some people put up the exhibits about the four or five kids who’d been taken away. (Yes. The messed up nature of all of this was heavily implied.)
Implications aside however, in the moment it weirdly wasn’t actually that scary of a dream. It was one of those dreams where I was pretty sure I had plot armor and was going to win the reality show. It was still not pleasant however. The participants were all getting to be friends so every time one lost it was super sad and traumatic for everyone. (Violet Willow lost on the first challenge and while everyone was sad for her, we also all kind of saw it coming.)
In my head, all of the challenges were themed off of a different fear from The Magnus Archives. We were on a short intermission before we started the second to last challenge which was Vast themed. It would involve paddling around an endless ocean in little boats and eventually working together to survive an encounter with some kind of kraken or sea monster. Weirdly, there was some kind of mechanic in the system where some of the participants had been through the challenges multiple times. I’d been through and survived the Vast challenge before, but that was as far as I’d gotten. The gimmick of the Vast challenge is that it would force participants to work together more than ever before so that they would bond a bunch more before A) one or two more kids are voted off the island and B) they’re all pitted against each other in the last challenge (for ultimate, tear-jerking drama of course).
And what’s the last challenge? I don’t know exactly—I never made it that far before. Just that it was going to take place in a beautiful garden/forest/parkland. And that it would be Flesh themed. Also, I think it was implied that it would be more pvp than the previous challenges.
In spite of just having totally flopped one of the last challenges (why were we performing a line dance for one of the challenges ? I don’t know. I’m really bad at line dances though) I’d survived so far and was preparing to compete in the Vast challenge for the second time.
It was at this point my mom called my phone and woke me up. I’m a bit disappointed I didn’t get to do the ocean challenge and see how things turned out, but you know? I think I’m okay with not living through a murdery Flesh nightmare, even just in a dream.
#my brain writes cursed fanfic while I sleep#dreams I had#freaky#cursed crossover#TMA#most fandoms are freakier when you add Rainbow High#rainbow high#the magnus archives#madoka magica#hunger games vibes#reality show#deadly reality show#last night i dreamt#the vast#the flesh
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I think the disproportion in show of affection from lando and carlos comes from the age difference, lando is young, and soaks up attention so he’s being pass around between djs, streamers and close knit friends and just has so many ppls around that for him it’s (just may be) like whtvr, yeah carlos is my friend like many other friends I have.
Carlos being more mature now and centered, more low key, seems to cherish and take care of the ppl he considers close to him, respect is a really big thing to him and so if he respects you, you automatically have a place in his life and would get out of his way (as much as he can) to help I somehow.
Also in the interview he does say that he saw the mercs getting closer and that if they passed lando who has similar tire wear to him, they would def pass him so he decided to help lando and in doing so help himself. I’m not saying that the one behind him being lando didn’t absolutely contribute but he’s also not that consumed by emotion.
oh yea sorry if it sounded if i implied carlos's emotionality clouds his judgement in the car - hes one of the drivers where ive genuinely never seen that happen (and we've all witnessed it with others). its just that i do actually rly like to hear drivers admitting that the way they think inside the car is slightly different to the macho tough utra-rational mentalities a driver is usually expected to present. carlos saying he does treat lando and fernando slightly more gently, lewis in 2018(?) saying he engages w max more carefully during wheel-to-wheels, lando often explicitly mentioning how scared he is in certain situations or at certain tracks (singapore and monaco specifically), etc. i find it refreshing, relatable, and like also very true in a delightful way
aside from that - i did see that interview, and im aware 99% of carlos's strategy was dictated by the circumstances that happened to b behind him, and i do believe he wouldve done that with whoever else wouldve been in p2 if lando wasnt there. that said, i do ALSO believe he thinks its nicer or more special bc lando was the one in p2. thats what i was trying to say
and yea i deffo think carlos and lando treat friendships differently - maybe its stages in life, or personalities, or a combination of the two. carlos has always been big into respect, & i rly think he respects lando a whole bunch, and thats deffo never left him. meanwhile lando - "he’s being pass around between djs, streamers and close knit friends" is v funny and also quite true. i think after the pandemic left him like, quite lonely, and maybe in a bit of a panic abt how lonely he was, he made an effort to solidify an old and trusted group of friends around him, which he's basically now settled into. and now he's in a phase where he's kind of exploring his boundaries beyond that, going on vacations w martin garrix n his friends or whatever. also like, lando is very gen z in ways carlos clearly isnt, and that means a lot of his socialising is done online (to the point where when he was living w max they sometimes texted more than actually talking to each other). so that inherently means that sometimes the friends who have access to landos time and energy arent those he chooses to prioritise, but like those who happen to be online on discord - whether that be angryginge or filly or matt gallagher or bankai or whoever, ykwim (and max) (usually max lmao). which means carlos will naturally have a disconnect w lando in that area
but yea i get what u mean for sure. its also like, 2019-2020, carlos and lando's interactions were not only v much facilitated by them being teammates, but also in huge part filmed or televised, which means that we had so much more of a grasp on what they were like w each other. now its genuinely just guesswork, ykwim
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Misc Ep 1
Hello! This is about the pilot of Yellowjackets, and ONLY the pilot of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the first episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me. Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please just fucking block the tag
If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.
Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open!
I think the expectation is that you’ll be more interested in the whole idea that these girls end up hunting each other for sport or ritual or whjatever, and, the first episode seems to imply, fucking eating each other. I do think that’s great, and all, as a consequence ofd things, but what I’m mostly into is something that, luckily, at least in this pilot, the show seems into as well: How do these girls become this thing? How does a human being break down? What is it about fear that brings forth ritual, how does ritual sometimes cover or cleanse violence, what is it about humanity that needs ritual as a way of getting both closer to and further from our actions?
We know this from the get-go. We’re shown this before we get to know any of the girls, before we get to know any of the girls, before we get to reflect on how nice and normal and accomplished we are. It’s not interested in rubbernefcking at normal people becoming something difficult, becoming something that bridges the gap between the new world of a sort of sterilized tribalism, and an old world very obvious and, daresay more honest, level of violence and tribalism. We’ll see if I still feel like that’s part of the discussion in a few episodes. Everything is hard to tell from a pilot.
How do i feel about Natalie? I’m not sure, I don’t really know enough about her. I have a couple mild worries, but I don’t actually have a BASIS for those, when I think about it. All I have is vague vibes, and it’s absolutely unfair to judge something off of a vibe I have based on OTHER narratives. So, I reserve judgement. I definitely want her goddamn Porsche and rifle, that’s for sure. The show, I think, I hope, wants to tell us something with her story. That she percieves a threat and jumps to violence--we see that in the flashback with her, as well. Natalie’s first impulse is to strike. This is not new and this is not news, and maybe, takoing this back to Shauna, it’s showing how MANY of them have never managed to move forward from the person they were while they were a Yellowjacket.
I had a girl like Laura Lee on cheer squad, and it may not surprise you to know we had a contentious relationship at best, as I often took to sighing and snapping gum while she led prayer.
Misty. Misty! I was so fucking sure when we saw her in the pep rally we were going to get all that dumb bullshit about how everyone is SO MEAN to the poor nerdy one blah blah wah wah. But no! It’s much more realistic than that. They just don’t want to be friends with her. They ignore her. I love that moment when Nat sees her and then she disappears, because she’s not an entity to them, she’s just a fucking ghost. She’s a nothing. The show takes pains to show that she DOESN’T fucking know how to act socially. She’s the kind of cruel where she would happily sit and watch a rat struggle and drown. When she’s an adult, she’s bitter and vindictive to people who try her. Even a sick old woman. She’s not a nice or good person, and I love so much that the show is like, IMMEDIATELY when we see her as an adult, “If you were looking for an innocent little gumdrop rainbow sad nerd, Misty ain’t it” and that actually will give me space to LIKE Misty.
So much of the team dynamic feels so authentically like whoever was writing this did time on a high school girls’ sports team, because this is genuinely one of the only things I’ve ever seen that reminds me of cheer, which was far far more “Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me” than everyone holding hands and gay kissing and doing it each other’s makeup (It was also that though. Life is complicated) I love that they get into an absolutely bitter fight the night before they leave at the bonfire. Truly enjoyed it. (Tag yourself, I’m Van grabbing another beer before we all have to talk about our feelings.)
By the by, that whole huge it out bullshit in a secluded part of the party is definitely a shade toward their time in the woods, and Jackie’s approach and i know I basically already went into it, ut I definitely have to mention it again.
Double by the by: Putting a pin in the whole “best things about each other” for the end of the seasons and I’m hoping someone reminds me because I think we will come BACK to these qualities and see them either revealed or destroyed.
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i’d love to know the ins and outs of damon’s involvement in elastica’s songwriting. i definitely don’t want to believe he was some kind of lone mastermind behind it all. i don’t even think his playing on the tracks must have mattered much. but he probably made significant contributions to the writing. i don’t like the idea that he did so because justine couldn’t. knowing how he likes to be in charge while justine seems pretty laid-back and open in comparison, it may have just been her openness that gave him space to contribute a lot (maybe too much for her own good in the end). she was probably okay with it or even grateful for his contributions in the moment. i wonder how he saw his own place in the band: as a legitimate founding member, a producer, an ephemeral helping hand? officially, the elastica documentary points to the latter interpretation. did he get kind of kicked out after a while because he didn’t fit in? or did he always know he was just there as an extra and wasn’t really supposed to be part of the band? did he actually keep hanging out in the studio when annie and donna had completed the lineup or did he only leave his mark in early demos/sessions with justine and justin? was he just there, just another band member, or did he really do most of the work of figuring the songs out? did justine and damon work as a secret songwriting duo? was he adopting his kind of pedagogical attitude where he was giving advice and showing how to build a song to the other musicians there? was it actually useful or merely patronising? to what extent? was his main contribution, just like in blur or often gorillaz, giving a demo before letting the others flesh his sketch out? that’s what i’m picturing: that’s his job, his strength - he must have had so many demos lying around that justine just agreed to pick some stuff from it to play with.
anyway, damon and the band must have agreed afterwards not to credit him too much to avoid talks of brilliant famous boyfriend behind untalented helpless girlfriend, but it meant her only source of reputation could be threatened by this rotten secret debt at the core of those sessions… well they couldn’t have predicted this danger since they probably thought they wouldn’t split up and damon wouldn’t be tempted to discredit her that way.
there’s still this ambiguity which i despise in damon’s hints about this. even if he can’t/prefers not to reveal how much he was involved, he’s kind of playing with it and that shows a dark side. if he hasn’t written most of it, then he shouldn’t imply that. then again his ego might see it that way. and we don’t know whether there’s actual truth in it or it’s a grayer area of musical collaboration and things left unsaid between an enthusiastic helper and a laid-back person who received the help. which is what i’m sensing, but can’t prove obviously.
what we know may only be a small part of what he actually did for the band. we know that damon provided his demo ‘beached whale’ which became ‘spastica’.
and he played keyboards on a number of elastica tracks. and he played the synthesiser riff of ‘connection’…. but did he write more of it than that, or was it just this riff? it’s not clear at all from the zane lowe interview: he says he ‘did’ the riff (wrote? played?) but then says the machine ‘is’ connection, implying the whole song comes from his machine… anyway, whether he was the one who ripped the riff off wire or justine doesn’t really matter, it’s still plagiarism! that’s the funny thing about it. i guess they agreed on this, maybe they both came up with the idea of basing elastica songs on wire songs. but if you take the ‘mastermind’ narrative that gives full credit to damon and barely recognises any real input from justine (which i don’t believe at all), that would mean his ‘gift’ was, in part, more of a curse than a blessing, like he should be proud to have made his girlfriend’s album a rip-off album without her being aware of it? lol.
but yeah, there’ll always be this uncomfortable weirdness about elastica’s history and his tall shadow as someone famous and influential, often portrayed as a genius musical polymath in the media. which is a bit unfair, there’s clearly an imbalance there.
one could argue that it’s unfair he wasn’t credited if he contributed as much as he’s been implying he has, but he should just let it go instead of being thirsty for recognition decades later at the risk of creating some harmful rehashed media turmoil, shouldn’t he? i’d rather hear a testimony from someone who wouldn’t be too biased towards one or the other camp, saying what damon’s real contributions were, and the two main protagonists should remain graceful and silent about it.
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OMG OKAY CAT STRAP IN BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE A RANT
i cannot. actually believe that blue box bitch is making hui compete on bp999 after being in the military for two years. what the fuck. as a ptg fan it is super discouraging to see and i’m rlly worried about the future of pentagon :((( the gp999 contract was an exclusive 2.5 year contract, and if it’s the same for bp, then hui will not have been in a comeback for pentagon for nearly FIVE YEARS !!!!! being a uni is like being punished by god for real
also, this minghao thing hurts bro. ik he probably didn’t say it with the intention of being malicious but that does not change the fact that the sentiment is harmful… idk man, feels bad lmao. i’ve struggled w body image issues my whole life and to hear something like that come from minghao makes me feel uncomfortable and rlly insecure. never would have expected that from him (or any of them) but tbh that’s probably my mistake lol
sorry to dump all this on u and i’m sorry i’ve been m.i.a 😔😔 my tiny lil dumb brain is not working lately so i’ve been trying to take it easy ahdhsh ilysm cat 💛💛💛 take care of urself -🦁
i’m strapped in!!
THE BLUE BOX FJWKFKDK and yeah ,,,, i heard it was gonna be a full 7 year contract this time with the first half promoting only with the new group and the second half promoting with both your own group and the bp999 group?? but like idk i hope he pulls a nu’est where he gets super super popular and makes it to the end and then he doesn’t get voted into the final group wkhdwkkfwk but honestly we never know what the situation is until the show comes out with his interview :/ i’m not even a uni (real) i’m just a casual fan but its just so ….. 😭 btw the fact that hwanhee and xiao from up10tion who debuted around the same time as ptg are here too ,,,,, the trainees are about to get shown up!!!
and ok. when i first saw it the minghao thing was really disappointing to see and i know that this is said all the time but it doesn’t make it less true ,,,, east/southeast asian culture tends to carry the sentiment that being bigger is inherently bad and it’s not surprising that there was a clip of him saying those things and repeating that rhetoric when its the culture he was raised in.
BUT. THIS IS A REALLY BIG BUT. i also heard people saying that it was a mistranslation and the clip that went viral is actually not showing the full context? (p.s i don’t want to seem like i’m defending him or excusing minghao if he really did say those things but i’m just relaying what i’ve seen!) but basically the translation on the video kind of misconstrues what minghao was saying. the full context was that minghao was asked what advice he would give someone who was skinny and wanted to gain weight, and then asked for advice for someone chubby who wanted to lose weight. minghao then says that what’s most important is loving yourself, because when you love yourself you can know what’s best for yourself, whether it be exercising to gain, lose, or maintain your weight. and that initial thing where he says “stop eating” is said like . jokingly/sarcastically, because the host had previously said that he lost 15kg in one month from not eating and minghao was just referencing that again (and also after he says the joke he gets serious and says that this sort of thing was something he can’t just say carelessly, which is why he goes onto explain his actual answer and advise). the overall message he was trying to say was to love yourself no matter what size you are.
even so, i doubt minghao is completely guilt free in what he said (even if he didn’t mean it like that), especially since he’s still implying there’s a certain “body type” that’s considered healthy(?). but again, if it comes out that minghao really did say it like that then i’m disappointed but not really surprised, but also i think we shouldn’t jump to conclusions before getting all the facts straight :’)
#i rly hope people don’t misinterpret my response as me blindly defending him or anything hejfksnfkd#i hope i worded everything clearly 🥲#but ofc i think everyone is valid in feeling hurt! the translation in the original video was very hurtful especially to people who struggle#with body image#but again . yk#and noooo don’t apologize :(( i’m not online that much anyway fksnfkek#take care of yourself ok!!!!!#q&a — 🦁 anon
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so in relation to Pete
I like his humour, he hasn’t said anything that’s offended me (too much) and every interview he’s in I like him more and more
what I didn’t like:
(I’ll get the long one out of the way). so I hate when men pull the “if a MAN did this he’d be arrested/face backlash/have his career ruined/etc” card. saw one earlier today when that fucking Gaston clip resurfaced and the top comment has always been “If a MAN touched a Disney Princess chest he’d be--” and like over a thousand likes and an endless list of women agreeing or saying the same thing.
but when Pete did it, I kind of agreed. so after him and Ariana broke up, his way of coping with it was joking on SNL, his job (and not even in like, an awful way). her way of coping was through song, explicitly naming him as well and made a dick comment.
but Ariana came after him like he wasn’t allowed to make any jokes in relation to the relationship.
I’d agree with her IF they were bad. if they were misogyny filled. but he basically did a joke where the host of SNL said soemthing and he said “wanna get married?” basically implying he’s quick to jump into marriage, cause... that’s what he did with Ariana. and she didn’t approve of this specific joke.
so, on his stand up, he talked about how it wasn’t fair that she was allowed to use him in her song but he couldn’t make a few comments doing his comedy job (and like I said, his jokes weren’t bad and it was expected of him to comment on SNL after the break-up)
so that was all one thing
another would be his comments on JRK. hasn’t said much but I wasnt a fan.
and third would be his choice of faves.
I don’t like MGK, Pete’s bestie, who is a certified creep. and I don’t like Kim K, who is the actual cause of the standards girls and women face today.
so just like I don’t hate Taylor for being a GoT fan (hard to find someone who isn’t), I don’t hate Pete for the above. he, like Taylor, has done more likeable things than what I don’t like.
whereas Lizzo, she out here not just being a fan or friends with Chris Brown, she said he’s her “fave person in the world.” I drew the line there already.
but then to know she’s a big hit with Gen Z, the most impressionable generation ever and her biggest fans on Tiktok (the app keeping her relevant, and those people happen to be teen girls) and she’s promoting choking kink on there.
she already lost me at Chris Brown........
I was out here showing my niece all her songs (and live performances, and I dont do that) till that shit happened.
sorry, her “positivity” aint for me
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Finnick falling for a Capitol citizen…
Finnick Odair x Male Reader
Warnings: Implied smut
Summary: You meet Finnick at a Capitol party and you have a Cinderella moment and then your life flips upside down…
Requested by Anon
y/p = your profession
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The party was terrible, it was boring, the people there were either sleezy snobs, high society wannabes or just general assholes.
But why were you there then one might ask. Well first off your dad is a part of the high society in the Capitol and second you were a famous y/p and you had gotten a personal invitation from President Snow which isn’t something one just ignores (or atleast if they wanna stay alive).
So you put on the nicest clothes in your closet and sucked it up and went to the party. When you entered it was like watching a sea of rainbow colored wigs as you descended the staircase down to the ballroom.
What you didn’t know was that you had caught a pair of sea green eyes at your arrival. Finnick (to his annoyance) was also there on the ”request” of President Snow and he was just as unhappy as you were to be there. But seeing you had gave him some hope for the night.
You tried to stay in a corner away from the crowd but people somehow still managed to find you, you wouldn’t have minded if the people were actually interesting but instead you were forced to listen to a bunch of blabber about what clothes people were planning on buying, what parties they were currently invited and of course what famous people were there.
From what they told you there was everything from designers, victors and even the beloved Caesar Flickeman present at the party.
You were close to leaving until someone walked towards you with a smirk spread on his tanned face. ”Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” said Finnick Odair.
Before you had the time to say anything Finnick had grabbed your hand and planted a light kiss and said ”It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Y/n, i’ve heard a lot about you”. You noticed he was doing his flirty voice, the kind he always used in interviews to try to appeal to the capitol but you decided to play along as had nothing better to do.
”Only good things i hope” you answered in the same kind of flirty voice. ”Some good things and some things that could make even President Snow blush”.
After those words one of the best nights of your began.
You and Finnick started by going to the bar to get drinks where you small talked and got to know each other, he continued with his flirting which happily returned.
Then when a slow song came on he brought you out on dance floor where the two of you held each other close as some people looked at you jealously for getting the the attention of THE Finnick Odair and some people looked at you as if you were royalty and they were about to bow down.
So basically you were the belle of the ball on this occasion.
After the slow dance Finnick whispered quietly ”Wanna get out of here and go back to my place”. ”Absolutely” you answered and followed Finnick outside.
Let’s just say things got wild that night between the two of you, in a way that could only be described by these Ariana Grande lyrics ”Can’t you stay up all night fuck me ’til the daylight”.
The day after you father confronted you and told you that you couldn’t see Finnick anymore because you shoudn’t be associated with someone who isn’t a Capitol citizen.
So of course you didn’t listen and saw Finnick anyway in secret.
You were saddend though after he returned to district 4 leaving you all alone in the Capitol.
But he came back… sooner than expected because he had been reaped to compete in the quarter quell. In which the tributes were comprised by existing victors.
You were part of the group of Capitol citizens who wanted to stop games mostly so that Finnick wouldn’t die + so that Katniss girl wouldn’t die either since she had kinda started a revolution which was good.
So imagine how pleased you were when Plutarch and Haymitch approached you and gave you the opputunity to help get Katniss (and Finnick if possible) out of the arena.
You immediately helped with whatever you could to get everything ready.
And when Katniss finally destroyed the arena you were right there to help pick her up as well as Finnick.
As the Hovercraft flew away from the burning arena that was falling apart you thought to yourself ”Time for a revolution”.
#finnick odair x male reader#finnick odair x male!reader#x male reader#male reader#x male!reader#the hunger games x male reader#the hunger games x male!reader#x male reader fluff#x male reader headcanons#male reader insert#male!reader
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I went down a bit of a rabbit hole tracking down some old Francie Shwartz interviews. I am fascinated by whatever toxic concoction of bad vibes was going on in Summer 1968 Beatledom, and while I'm very aware Francie is an unreliable source, I'm insatiably curious. It was hard to find this stuff so I'm posting some links here in case it helps people who want to read it, too. I feel like she consistently gets close to saying things but then kind of veers around saying anything substantive. There are also points in interviews where it reads like she is very informed by other people's writings on the band and general received wisdom. This got very long, read more under the cut.
Body Count on the internet archive - missing some pages but the Paul chapter is intact. This is a strange read, it's like there are huge [scene missing] chunks of stories left out, and the sense of timeline is hard to follow. In that way, I suppose it does remind me of hazy summer days melting into each other when you're a young twenty something just hanging out all the time. There are so many strange little tidbits- on her second night in London she went to a club, met Paul's brother, and gave him a silver roach clip? There's very little explanation about how she actually ended up moving in with Paul at Cavendish- I feel like that would be a very specific memory worth including? To be honest, after reading this chapter my only thought was "that was exhausting, I literally can't understand how that entire situation lasted a couple of months."
Interview on About.com "Oldies Music" page (via Wayback Machine)- interesting, but again, devoid of the kind of details I would expect. This answer in particular drives me wild, because if she is going to remember them in great detail when she's 90 throw us a bone here!
What were the White Album sessions like?
The sessions were like a long long dream, punctuated with odd mini-nightmares, and almost always stoned (hashish, mostly - reefer was rarely available in London then). Those sessions are something I'll remember in great detail when I'm 90, in a rocking chair or floating in virtual reality.
Q&As with Francie posted to the Macca-L listserv (via Wayback Machine)- among other questions, the one where Francie tells us what Paul smelled like:
[lynn]
francie, one of the questions macca-listers frequently ask those who have had a "macca encounter" but for which we have yet to get a definitive answer is "how does he smell?"
[Francie]
He's very clean. (Yeah, that was a HDN reference.) My favorite zone: His hair -- it always made me crazy (hope he's not reading this!) because it's so very silky and thick, and smells like a freshly shampooed show dog, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
As for his personal aroma, his skin had a very very mild, almost morning-sunny scent, but everso subtle. He's one of those people who is so cool on the outside, you can't detect the storm within, and since he rarely lets the strain or conflict show, he also never has that "guy" smell. Strictly no sweat, from head to toe. Even his shoes in the closet - After i thought about this question a while, I realized his "perfume" is his 'cool' made physical. He never needed cologne and if I remember right, used no aftershave. Strictly a soap and water guy whose aroma never aged a day in the life.
1998 "Conversation with Francie Schwartz (via Wayback Machine)- Mostly focused on specific questions about recording sessions:
The text seems to imply that you were present in the very first recording session for the White Album. Did I understand correctly? That would be interesting to add to the Beatles dates collection. After all, it is not reported on Mark Lewisohn's `The Beatles Recording Sessions'.
I saw the chronology you referred to... Lewisohn had to rely on engineers notes and surviving Beatles memories, catching what he could from Neil Aspinall and others. I believe Yoko was at the very very first session, and Paul invited me to the second... I now believe it was a matter of Paul being really shaken by John's insistence on bringing Yoko (he refers to this in his inimitable fashion on the Anthology Video) to the sessions. In other words, Paul's thinking went something like this: If JOHN can bring a weird new woman to sessions, so can I... the difference was, Paul had only met me two or three times before this - and John and Yoko were newly in love...
I looked in my datebook and I think I confirmed I was at Abbey Road starting with Session #2 of the White Album. I went to quite a few sessions, but the most audible record of that is the backing track I sang with George Harrison (Bah-oom shooby doowah) for `Revolution' Take 2. That would have been that second session, which lasted until maybe 2 or 3 am...
Abbyrd.net interview with Francie Schwartz (original website still functional but here's a Wayback Machine link just in case)
Q: There is the persistent story that Jane Asher caught you and Paul together, leading to their breakup. True or false?
A: False. They were on the verge of breaking up when I arrived in London. Right after I met Paul he went to his farm in Scotland, and I believe Jane was with him, and that they were trying to work it out, but failed, because he came on with me as soon as he got back to London. I detail the actual events in the E! TV interview. Bottom line: She did come to the house one morning and knock on the bedroom door... but that was well after she had announced that the engagement was off, on TV. I believe that the "sound bite" psychology is what contributed to the myth that persists even today. It's a simple explanation for a very complicated and hard to condense process that was ongoing.
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Hi, I just read your answer to the anon question about Satoru and Utahime. When you talk about Satoru's ideal type, if it's based on the JujuSanpo where he is talking to Utahime about the nice girl with notable bangs (Miwa), apparently this is up to interpretation, many people think they were talking about a different topic (probably about the girl who took a picture with Satoru?) and not about Satoru's ideal type because the question was addressed to female students, also Utahime's lack of reaction. Like I said before, this is up to interpretation and it was propably Gege's intention to cause confusion not only about the context but also about Satoru's type.
Anyway I agree with the anon, Satoru and some other characters are so mistreated by the fandom, they don't even do it with the villains. Also I like your meta-answer! I just wanted to add the above data because it's something I saw trying to find out if Satoru's type is someone like Miwa (not Miwa of course) or what Gege was trying to say. I admit that for a short period of time I found gojohime a bit attractive although not anymore and I fully understand what you mean about them. I'm not totally against it either, there are much worse ships.
Now my personal opinion about satosugu: i lean more towards platonic love between them, that in this case in no way is less than romantic love. If Satoru's type is based on Suguru, his only best friend and moral compass sometimes, well ... Hahah this kind of remind me Megumi's type who is someone like Tsumiki, his sister and compass too.
I think I went a bit overboard here, sorry. I love your metas/opinions about jjk, thank you for all the effort and kindness! Stay healthy!
Thank you for your kind message ♥
That juju sanpo is not meant to imply that Gojo’s type is Miwa, is a very tricky hint actually. Hints can’t be read by itself, because they get meaning in relation with other hints, in a major context. Objectively Satoru is only asking Utahime who was the girl who asked him for a photo, probably to show off because he knew that was a Utahime's student (“I’m so cool even your students are fan of me”, something like that). But the scene is right after the “who is your type?” and we don’t get the full conversation, only the part where he refers to the “bangs”. The context where the scene is inserted and the words in which does focus aren’t just casualty, are on purpose. What Gege is trying to say without saying it is that Satoru likes bangs. That hints and the fact that in the fanbook is mentioned that the first thing Satoru noticed on Suguru was bangs and Gege insisting with bangs when asked about what he keeps in mind when drawing Suguru, bring me to the conclusion that the hint is: Satoru ideal type are people with bangs. Gege chooses carefully what information to share in those interviews, his insistence on bangs related to Suguru is probably a hint. Of course, this wouldn’t be enough to sustain satosugu, this only makes sense in the context of their whole story.
About ideal type, I had already had a discussion about how Megumi thinks in Tsumiki while answering what his ideal type is doesn’t mean he is in love with her. What people find attractive about others is less random than people think, and tends to portray aspects of themselves. In Megumi’s case, his values, in which Tsumiki has a big role in. But to assume that he is in love with her just because her words came to his mind, is a very poor interpretation in my opinion.
About romantic or platonic… the idea that romantic love is peak form of love and sex it consumation is part of the myths of romantic love in my opinion. Sex is a sensory expirience and its not tied to love necesarily. That is because the idea that you must have sex with the love one and that you can only have sex with the love one are so problematic. And I even dare to say, they are false.
Regarding satosugu, if they shared sexual desire for the other or not is not even an importat aspect to reach the conclusion if they were in love or not. I dare to say that they have one of the best representations of love in fiction.
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Misread Details: Robert
CW: Dehumanizing language, BBU blanket warning, serial killer/death talk, descriptions of death/abduction/murder, blood, whumper death, some real vague implied noncon references, creepy whumper, sadistic whumper
Part One: Nanda | Part Two: Brute | Part Three: Robert
The Dark Discovery in Robert Weber’s Basement: Box Boy Killer, Part 3
r/LetsTalkTrueCrime
•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee
3 days ago
After Part One, where we learned about the mysterious, but possibly entirely natural, death of Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson, and Part Two, where we saw Henry “Brute” Hanlon’s double life lead to his untimely gruesome murder, you see the single thread that connects these two men who otherwise never met, interacted, or even shared a single person in common… a nameless Box Boy, present at the death of Nanda even if he isn’t responsible for it, and the proven killer of Brute.
It’s my theory that this Box Boy may have accidentally killed his legal owner, Nanda, and then picked up a taste for the act and moved on to taking shelter with those he turns into his victims.
With Brute, he simply didn’t know the man had a wife and children and entire other life, and may have assumed no one would come looking for him or recognize his death. With our third individual, Robert Weber, it seems like our Box Boy Serial Killer got in over his head.
I give you… the Accidental Vigilante death of Robert Weber.
You decide if our unknown killer is simply the unluckiest guy in the world or a killer who even now may be somewhere living with - and earning the trust of - his next victim.
-
One bright and sunny day in the quaint, old-fashioned California town of Rancher’s Rest, Robert Weber was late for work.
Weber worked in a vehicle repair business owned by lifelong “RR” resident Randy Niles, who had known Weber since his childhood and had been his boss since Weber was eighteen years old and fresh out of high school.
Niles, who is now nearly seventy-five and still spends his days in the shop with an Australian Shepherd named Cody and a blind pit bull named Sue keeping him company everywhere he goes, stated that Weber had no living family he knew of beyond his sister in Vermont, and he was just about the closest thing Weber had to a relative just from having known him so long.
“He didn’t have too much to do with his sister,” Randy said in an interview with Unsolved Mysteries. (You can see the interview on the new Netflix reboot of the show! It’s a really good episode, definitely recommend. It’s how I got into this case in the first place.) “Or nobody, really. Just us at work, the guys at the bar, that kinda thing. He was quiet, kept to himself really. You’d never just strike up a chat around town or anything. But he got on just fine with the boys here in the shop. He was a bit of an egghead, too, always going on about this thing or that he’d seen on the news. Little… odd. Little bit off, you might say. But really, who isn’t? In any case, you know, I’d known him since he was a little boy, so he was just Bobby Weber to me.”
Then, of course, one day Robert Weber didn’t show up to work. Randy Niles immediately felt that something was very wrong.
“When nine, nine-thirty came and went and he wasn’t there,” Niles said, “I knew someone needed to go check on him. Bobby showed up for work right on time or ten minutes early, rain or shine, for twenty years. My first thought was maybe he’d had an accident at home, or some kind of, you know, health thing. Almost never called in sick, took one vacation a year, that kinda thing. So I drove right on over there. This would’ve been, oh, probably ten or ten-fifteen when I got to the house. Had my dogs with me, and they never did like Bobby much, but as soon as I opened my door and got out of my truck they just lost their damn minds. Barking, growling, Cody’s hackles were up like you wouldn’t believe. I know it sounds damn crazy, but I’m sure those dogs could smell that evil had been done in that house.”
On camera, Niles goes quiet, here, his gaze slipping away from the interviewer as he scratches at the side of his nose. When he looks back, the hint of good humor that seems to be an eternal part of his expression is gone.
“I didn’t know what Bobby had been up to all this time. None of us knew. I’ve known Bobby Weber his whole life, and I… I had no idea.”
Randy Niles was unable to convince his two dogs to exit the truck, and eventually rolled down the windows to give them some air and a way out if they chose (he is insistent on this point in the Unsolved Mysteries episode - “don’t you dare say I left my dogs locked up in a truck on a sunny day, I sure didn’t - Cody even knows how to pull a door handle if it’s the right kind”) and got out to knock on Robert Weber’s front door.
No one answered.
Niles knocked again. Still no response.
The front door was locked, but Niles was able to locate an unlocked back door into the garage, where he found Weber’s car neatly parked and nothing out of place. However, once he used an interior door in the garage to enter Weber’s home, what he found was so shocking he still struggles to describe it today.
“The, uh. The first thing I saw,” Niles says in the Unsolved Mysteries episode, wiping at his mouth with a handkerchief, “was a cage. Big old cage in the living room. Like a kennel for a big dog, Great Dane or something, except… except, you know, kennels’re usually mostly wire, not that heavy. You can fold ‘em up, put ‘em away. This was… geez. This was pure metal. Bunch of blankets all piled at the bottom, too. Here’s the-... you know, my mind just didn’t want to even make the thought, but I just, I looked at it and-”
In the episode, Niles has to take another moment, here. His eyes grow wet, and his voice is hoarse when he speaks again. “People cage. Bobby had a damn man-sized cage in his living room. That’s when my stomach just fell out. Even then, though, I couldn’t-... I just thought, oh, well, what people get up to in their own homes is their business. But still, I just. I just decided, find Bobby, figure the rest out later. So I kept walking around looking for him.”
Randy Niles continued to call out, hoping to hear Weber’s response, but received none… at first. The radio in the kitchen was playing a local public radio station (“Bobby always hated the country western and classic rock we played at work, he was a big news man, big into classical, jazz, you know.”)
Niles noticed, he says, that the cage next to the couch had a wooden top, as though it were meant to act as a side table, and on that table was a small woven basket. Inside the basket appeared to be several State IDs and Driver’s licenses. Niles took note of this but his first assumption was maybe that Robert Weber had stolen some IDs or something.
Which was technically true, just… not quite the way he thought.
The kitchen, hallway, and all three bedrooms were equally empty of life. Every room was clean, everything neatly in place. Empty bottles of Jameson whiskey, Weber’s favorite brand, were lined up like décor along the mantel, and one half-full bottle was next to two clean, empty glasses on the kitchen table.
Even the beds were perfectly made.
The only thing missing was any sign of Robert Weber himself.
The question of Weber’s whereabouts was answered when Randy Niles heard a sound coming from the open door to Weber’s unfinished dirt basement.
“Like a ghost,” Niles said in his interview. “Just this low moaning sound. Hardly even thought of it as human, you know. But I just-... I called out, ‘Bobby? That you?’ and the moaning got a little louder, like whoever it was was tryin’ to answer. I could still hear my girls in the truck just going nuts, probably worried about me knowing what they maybe could smell even out there. I figured… I figured I’d best call the cops and get them out here. Seemed like a plan. So I picked up my phone and dialed, and then I headed down those basement steps.”
What Randy Niles discovered in Robert Weber’s basement was a dying man, battered and stabbed eight times, lying in a half-dug grave.
Robert Weber had been beaten with the very shovel that had done the digging. The shovel lay off to the side, caked in dirt and blood. Police would find some of Robert Weber’s hair on it, too. Then, the individual who had beaten him had gone back upstairs - blood smears were found on the railing to the stairs - and taken a kitchen knife out of the knife block on the countertop. A bloody fingerprint was found on the side of the knife block. They had then returned to the basement where Weber was stabbed, almost entirely through the stomach and chest, twenty-six times, until the cheap knife simply broke from the force.
Randy Niles admitted in his interview that he became very ill at this time. “From the shock,” He elaborated. “I haven’t been able to smell much since I was in a car wreck when I was young, so I didn’t smell what-... what my girls prob’ly smelled from outside, and what the cops smelled. To me, it was just… just a little off, is all. It was the sight of it that got to me, not the smell. The sight of the-... the hand.”
Behind Robert Weber’s body, the hand of another person was sticking up out of the loose dirt, as though someone was trying to dig their way out.
“I remember… I remember her nail polish was pink. That’s when I got sick, actually, was when I saw that hand with the painted nails. That’s when it just hit me all at once what Bobby had done.”
Randy Niles went back up the stairs and waited for the cops to arrive. Rancher’s Rest is a small town where everybody knows just about everybody else, and Niles was on a first-name basis with every single police officer he spoke to that day and in the days after. He would learn alongside the investigation that Robert Weber was not simply the quiet, intellectual car mechanic he had always seemed.
Instead, Robert Weber was a serial killer whose potential final victim had managed a miraculous, deadly escape.
Robert Weber never answered a single question about his own murder - he never fully regained consciousness and died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. His injuries were simply too severe. His autopsy showed that the cause of death was a stab wound that went deep into his chest and that he was first stabbed only after the beating with the shovel had taken place. Like Brute, most of his stab wounds were applied post-mortem in a rage rather than as part of the killing itself.
Medical examiners also found scratches on Weber’s face and arms, indicating that he had attempted to defend himself - or someone else had attempted to defend themself from him.
So why was Robert Weber killed, and why was there already a body in his basement? Investigators would piece together the story over the following days and weeks from a crime scene that only seemed to become darker and more baffling as time went on.
Excavating the basement was originally thought to be something that would be brief, but after the first body was removed, another one was found beneath it. Then another off to the side of that. And another, although this was simply bones.
Every time the forensics team thought they’d found the last human bone, they dug a little deeper or in a new spot and found more.
Eventually, the remains of twenty-two individuals would be removed from the basement of Robert Weber’s home, not including Weber himself. The oldest located victim was identified as Melinda Traxson, an Iowa woman reported missing by her family after she ran away in March of 1996… more than two decades before Robert Weber didn’t come to work one day.
Investigators are still working to match up every body with a missing persons’ case. For nearly all of them, the cause of death could not be easily ascertained due to the deterioration of the remains, but some showed signs of skull fractures. Identified individuals so far include:
Melinda Traxson, 19, from Iowa, ran away from home in 1996.
Billie Mortimer, 21, disappeared from a day out with friends at Lake Tahoe one year later in the summer of 1997. Her friends went to get lunch from the car after a swim and when they returned, she was gone.
Matthew Ranger, 22, went missing during a road trip to Yellowstone National Park in 1997 (only five months after Billie). His car was found abandoned by the side of the road with a flat tire.
Karl Janssen, 24, a tourist from the Netherlands who was also visiting Yellowstone, disappeared a month after Matthew. Last seen by an employee of the park who witnessed him speaking with another young man and getting into the man’s car. The employee said that the two seemed to be friendly with one another and did not seem like strangers.
Hannah Pointer, 26. She was reported missing in 1999 by her mother after failing to return home from work in Reno, Nevada. This disappearance occurred more than a year after Karl Janssen’s. Investigators would later discover that during this time period, Robert Weber dated a young woman from his hometown and he may not have wanted to risk her finding out what he was doing.
Isaac Jackson, 26, a Rancher’s Rest resident who disappeared after going out to a local bar to see his friend’s band play in 2000. His car was found submerged in a small pond two years later. This is the first time Weber apparently killed anyone close to home. He was actually briefly suspected in Jackson’s death, as he was the last person noted to see Jackson alive, but was cleared of suspicion at the time.
Dustin Swill, 21, who was driving from Colorado to California to visit his sister who had moved to Berras to work for WRU in 2001. He was last seen in a gas station near Yellowstone, where employees noted he spoke to a man who was smoking outside, who gave him a cigarette. When Swill left, employees saw the man put out his cigarette and leave shortly after. They did not find this unusual or noteworthy at the time.
Maria Vargas, 25, a Rancher’s Rest resident who was reported missing in 2002. Her family is intensely private and have shared few details about her, but it is known that her boyfriend at the time suspected Weber, who had attempted to convince her to leave the boyfriend for him and had apparently threatened her. He remained a suspect but there was never enough evidence to charge him.
Jennifer Striker, 28, from who never arrived for an appointment with a realtor in 2011. The long pause between Maria Vargas’s murder and Jennifer’s appeared to be due to Weber keeping a man named Finn Schneider within his home for more than a year after abducting him, as well as Weber serving five years in prison for a violent assault on a man he believed had sold him a defective vehicle. (Schneider was no longer in the home before the assault and prison time.)
Riley Nievelt, 25, was staying at the Big Meadow Campground with six friends during a weeklong vacation in 2012. She vanished while on a trip to purchase supplies. Her cell phone was found on the ground in the parking lot of the Food Lion in Rancher’s Rest, a short and easy drive away. At this time, with multiple individuals vanishing after being seen in Rancher’s Rest or being residents of the town, police begin to suspect and start hunting for a possible serial killer.
Alexander Peterson, 29, was a long-haul driver who vanished while working. He was last seen at a rest stop in 2014 on the California/Nevada state line, and would likely have passed right through Rancher’s Rest on his journey. He was reported missing by his ex-wife in South Dakota when he did not return as scheduled for a custodial visit.
The most recent victim, and owner of the hand that Randy Niles saw sticking up out of the dirt, was Yolanda Pierce, 26. She was a Rancher’s Rest resident with a troubled relationship with her husband, who had stormed out after an argument and was never seen again. She is believed to have died the same day as Robert Weber.
More remains exist but have not yet been identified. If you or anyone you know has a friend or family member who went missing during this time period in or near Rancher’s Rest, Yellowstone National Park, or Death Valley, it may be worth looking into, as those appear to be Robert Weber’s “hunting grounds”.
Disappearances in Yellowstone and Death Valley almost always matched up with Robert taking one of his rare weeklong vacations from work.
When investigators located three large diaries hidden inside a locked box in Weber’s closet, the first two fully filled up and the third nearly two-thirds finished, they found an exhaustively detailed record of Robert Weber’s crimes.
In these records, they discovered Weber’s first three victims were killed within 24 hours of abduction, with the rest being kept alive for longer and longer time periods. It is believed all of them met their end in Robert Weber’s basement.
Diary entries included records of two victims who were not a part of the bodies buried in Weber’s basement, both of whom may still be alive:
Finn Schneider, 19, a German tourist who disappeared in 2003 during a visit to Death Valley. Until Weber’s journals were found, it was believed he had perished in the park and had simply never been found. Robert Weber also visited Death Valley during this time. No one linked the two together. Evidence found in Weber’s home after his death, including the aforementioned diary entries and photographs, shows that Schneider was alive in Weber’s home for nearly sixteen months. It is believed Weber purchased the “human cage” that Randy Niles noticed around this time. The last diary entry that mentions Schneider states that he was “traded” on June 16th, 2005, to an individual only referred to as “Mouse.” What Weber received in exchange is unclear, but he was seen driving a new, custom-painted truck around this time, which he said he bought “from a personal ad” when asked by Niles about it. Schneider has never been found. However, his mother did receive a phone call in 2013 from an individual she believes to be her son, telling her that “Finn” was okay and to stop looking for him.
Our Box Boy, 334235, purchased by Nathaniel Benson years prior, whose whereabouts had been unknown since he murdered Brute Hanlon. Weber believed the Box Boy to be in his early twenties, according to his diary entries, and mentioned that he had picked the Boxie up hitchhiking and had intended to kill him before seeing the barcode on the inside of his left wrist and changing his mind. His diary suggests the Box Boy remained in his possession for roughly a fourteen months prior to Weber’s murder. Police have not released the details of what the Boxie was subjected to during this time, stating only that it is not the public’s interest for this information to be known, and they would like to locate the missing Boxie and interview him about certain details.
Four murders occurred during the time the Boxie was kept by Robert Weber. Weber noted that “the dog helped” with either murder or burial, suggesting that he may have worked as Weber’s accomplice in his terrible crimes.
Is it possible that they bonded over a shared urge to kill? Did the Boxie start a captive and become a companion?
Weber’s diary contained other disturbing facts, as well:
Weber also noted three failed abduction attempts in detail, in 1998, 2004, and 2017. In each he described with incredible precision of memory the appearances and descriptions of each person he failed to capture. He also appeared to do intensive research using their license plates and other information to find out where they lived and who they were. The names of these individuals have been kept quiet for privacy reasons.
Other failed abductions were noted, about one per year, without much detail. Or at least not enough for police officers to know who they were. Nearly all these failures were in one of three locations: Yellowstone National Park, Stanislaus National Forest and nearby campgrounds, and in or near Death Valley.
The last entry in Robert Weber’s diary was penned the day of his death.
NOTE: Weber referred to the Boxie as “the dog” in nearly all his journal entries. His last entry went:
May 6th, 20XX: The dog is pissed about something again. He’s always pissed about something. I think the thing in the basement probably kept him up all night with her caterwauling. He never gets used to the noises they make. God knows I can’t sleep either, at least not well. I’ll handle her tonight, have a drink with the dog after, see if that shuts up his nonsense for a while. Note: missed NPR interview with Senator Carlotta Grant on new leg. about the bb prohibition act. Find that on website later.
Found in Weber’s home, in boxes under his bed, were a series of restraints made of leather, high-quality items that appear to be custom-ordered to specific measurements. These included “gloves” intended to keep someone from being able to claw or scratch in their own defense, five sets of cuffs, a body harness, a leather half-face-mask that police referred to as a “muzzle”, several gags, some of which were deemed to be “designed to cause injury to the inside of the mouth”, and “other assorted items for use in torture and torment”.
You can find some leaked police docs online that go into more detail, but suffice to say they pretty much match the kinds of “toys” found in Nathaniel Benson and Brute Hanlon’s homes, too. And apparently, if you really know where to look, you can find some blurry low-quality photos Weber took, too.
While the items are a bit salacious, they aren’t entirely uncommon in consensual relationships, too, so it’s really not clear if they’re evidence of the Boxie being held against his will or not.
The investigation of the crime scene suggests that at some point after writing his final diary entry, Robert Weber made himself a pizza, which he ate half of and put the rest away in the fridge. His shaving cream and razor were found out on his sink, and Weber’s body was clean-shaven, suggesting he shaved shortly before his death.
He then watched three episodes of Law & Order: SVU. We know this because he texted during this time with his only living relative, the sister in Vermont. Little is known about Weber’s family and childhood, beyond his sister’s recounting of a quiet, strained home life with an overbearing mother and her mention that Robert endured several head injuries as a child and adolescent, including one that hospitalized him for days.
After he finished watching TV, Weber entered the basement and murdered Yolanda Pierce. It is believed he took the Box Boy downstairs with him, either as accomplice or witness. At some point while he was disposing of Yolanda Pierce’s remains, the Boxie became enraged for one reason or another, beat him with a shovel, got the kitchen knife from upstairs and stabbed him to death, and then left the house.
A neighbor remembers hearing odd noises around 3:30 AM and looking out their window to see a shadowy figure walking quickly down the road, but they weren’t able to see well enough to say whether or not the individual matches the description and WRU-provided photos of the Boxie. It does seem reasonable, though, to assume that the neighbor witnessed the Boxie fleeing the scene of the crime.
The Box Boy has never been seen again.
Police are pretty mum about the active investigation into the Box Boy’s whereabouts. I was able to get ahold of one source closely related to a member of the investigative team who said that there’s just not a lot of urgency. “Weber killed nearly two dozen people, just that we know of,” The source said. “The cops are a little bit ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’ about the situation. Unless the Boxie comes back to RR, they’re just inclined to let sleeping dogs lie.”
The sense of “let it be someone else’s problem” would be understandable… if this Box Boy weren’t responsible for one other direct murder, possibly two.
Police believe the Boxie has not left California, and is likely to be continuing to survive by engaging in prostitution or perhaps panhandling or some other hidden way of making money. Unconfirmed sightings have been located in three cities in central California, but all of these are unverified and should be taken with a grain of salt.
It’s also possible he hooked up with a pet liberation movement group, in which case he may be hiding out in a safehouse, protected from the consequences of his actions by the pet lib movement’s understandable insistence on total secrecy and anonymity for the Boxies they take in.
If he’s an innocent victim of circumstance, that’s fair.
If he’s a burgeoning serial killer with three victims under his belt and a taste for inflicting terrible violence on those who take him in… well… anyone who gives him shelter may be next.
Is our Boxie a purposeful killer or just supremely, almost incomprehensibly unlucky? Will he kill again? Was he Robert Weber’s accomplice or his victim?
Will he strike again?
Should there be an audit of WRU’s psychological testing on potential sign-ups to see if, perhaps, a Box Boy-wannabe with an urge to kill slipped through the cracks?
What do you think?
-
@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @eatyourdamnpears @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @outofangband @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @oops-its-whump @endless-whump @cubeswhump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @whumpiary
#whump#jameson bb#bbu#box boy universe#box boy#epistolary#epistolary fiction#epistolary writing#sadistic whumper#death talk tw#dead body tw#serial killer mention#description of dead body#implied noncon references#pet whump tw#dehumanization tw#dehumanizing language tw#creepy whumper#horror fiction#horror writing#horror#whumper death#god I want to write about Finn Schneider now#and what he's up to#he is absolutely still alive#whumpblr#whump writing#writeblr#original fiction#true crime fiction
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