#He's just bald and naked
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I made a plushie of Warden Ingo from Pokemon Legends Arceus!
Progress pics can be found on my twitter here
#ingo#warden ingo#submas#pokemon#pla#pokemon legends arceus#plush artist#handmade plush#custom plush#sewing#plush maker#thylak art#emmet#butler emmet is next in progress I have the body made#He's just bald and naked
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he's literally bald
#river dipping#matthias evanoff#echthroi#if you're wondering why i have him bald naked and standing on an empty lot rn#it's because i'm going to start over on his body scars using this projection painting method evan told me about#so i have to rip his sim with literally nothing on it#i have another version not pictured here where he also has zero skin details... he looks like mr. clean 😭😭😭#but i'm not sure which one i'm supposed to use?#i'm just trying to make his scars not like a skinblend of all his skin detail cc or anything#though i probably should do that for mattodore eventually#but i also know that when i use simripper to rip their sims some cc just doesn't show up anyway...#so. don't really know how to fix that lmao#but yeah........................................ he's literally bald#i imagine even with this new projection method i'm still gonna take days to make his scars
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Good news everyone, Donnie has curly hair sparsely throughout his body and not just on his face
#it’s not even like. peach fuzz#it’s like. just random strands of fur LMAO#this sounds like I’ve. been waiting for him to grow hair?? I don’t know#I just got him out the other day and noticed he’s not Completely bald everywhere#imagine he just grew most of a fucking pelt some day. how wild would that be#two rex/curly haired rats can birth naked rats right?? I’m loose on my genealogy
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boys will be like I Want To Draw Emil and then draw everything but emil.
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The pub scene is even funnier when you consider that poor Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has likely had this longtime pash on Aziraphale and, like everyone on Whickber Street, he has no idea who exactly The Ginger Goth With The Old Car is. He knows the prevailing theory is mafia but Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets has seen Ginger Goth hanging around Mrs. Sandwich and her "Sandwich Shop" and also around the bookshop a bit and also some naked guy was also at the bookshop recently, so... what's the likeliest conclusion drawn by Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets? That the old bookseller's lonely and paying for it.
He sees them come into the pub and thinks Aziraphale is classy like that and is taking the sex worker for a drink first or maybe that's part of it-- he's gone the whole 'boyfriend experience' route. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets sees Aziraphale with that chest stroke of that Thin Dark Duke he's paying and while Mr. Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets, just FYI) isn't here to judge and gets it as he's lonely, too... and while he does think the bookseller picks some hot ones... he wants to give Mr. Fell the real thing. The kind of love you can only get between two middle-aged, still-sorta-closeted queers like they are. He'll be someone the bookseller can talk to and find some genuine chemistry with, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets will be, so he decides to shoot his shot and knows the bookseller is skittish from their past interactions, so he goes for the meeting option. He'll have to come over to drop off the chairs, of course. Give them an excuse to talk more, alone, when Mr. Fell is not, erm, entertaining.
And poor Mr. Brown--President of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets is-- fine, upstanding, boring as all holy fuck fella... He's met by Crowley coming over with drinks and a greeting that says this is neither the first time, nor, he doubts, will it be the last that he's had to Husband the bookseller but again, Mr. Brown of Oh, You Know By Now thinks this is a bit, so he's not intimidated.
"I was just absolutely hitting on him for real, unlike you," is what he basically told Crowley when explaining what they were chatting about.
And Crowley's like lol you got him flustered enough to host this meeting. Good on you, Mr. Whoever the Fuck You Are from Whatever Shop You Run. Look at you *go*. 😍 I've got a new favorite human, Aziraphale.
He's all "you astonish me" to Aziraphale, teasing him like you're leading the poor, balding bastard on, angel. I know it's hard for you to reign in your divine sex appeal but you should maybe try. His heart is only human, after all.
Mr. Brown still thinks Crowley's a sex worker though so he doesn't give up and is all like remember, Mr. Fell, our date is right after work on Thursday in a group setting to set you at ease but I'll see you first to set it all up because I want you and I want to make sure you know I'm not just here for the business meeting.
Crowley: That's it-- I'm adopting you, Ballsy Mr. Carpet. I like your style. But you'll never wear my angel down. We've been married for 6,000 years. I am definitely up for saving you from some demons on Thursday though and making it rain on you and literally any fruity, single shop owner in the greater metro area next season. You're on the deck after my shop lesbians. Now piss off, Mr. Barnes. We haven't been to the pub in ages and you're in my seat.
#ineffable husbands#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#mr brown#of Brown's world of carpets#good omens 2#aziracrow
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Lucifer in love with an artist reader
・❥ There’s only one good way to start the day… pancakes and ice cream.
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
warning: mild swearing
You were awoken by something shifting against your chest. You stirred, adjusting slightly as you lay on your side.
You let the covers slide around you, the cool touch of the pillow beneath your face made you smile sleepily. That’s right, you were in your bed snuggled warmly beneath your sheets. Which is not where you remembered falling asleep last night.
Does that mean everything that happened yesterday was just a really weird dream?
If it was, it was the most vivid dream you’ve ever had. And, it seemed a little too crazy to be real. Being thrown off a balcony and being seconds away from shooting a man, all in the same night, was not a usual day for you.
Your brain was still foggy with sleep, and all you wanted to do was burrow your face farther into the pillow and drift off. Except, that pressure on your chest was making it hard to.
“KeeKee.. please, not right now..” You mumbled into the fabric, your voice laced with drowsiness. There was no response from the feline, but the form shifted slightly besides you, as if to nuzzle closer to you.
Sometimes you’d find her sleeping beside you, but that was pretty rare. Even so, you weren’t going to let her ruin your beauty sleep. With gentle movements, you slowly slid your arm forward, and your fingers brushed against soft hair.
Your palms hit a firm surface beneath the silky strands. Did KeeKee always have this long of fur? Did she gain weight too? You only ignored your suspicions, and slowly pushed her off your chest, farther across the bed. Sighing happily, you pulled the covers closer to you, embracing its warmth.
You felt something stir beside you, and the warm figure snuggled back into your chest. You groaned softly, you were too tired to take this attitude from the cat.
Lifting your arm again, your fingers quickly reached up and grasped the warm silhouette. This time, however, you let your hand travel down the form. Until you halted suddenly, your fingers grazing against something smooth and hairless. You didn’t remember KeeKee having any bald spots.
Slowly, you felt farther along. You could feel curves in the surface, cracks even.
What in the worl-
“Is this how you plan to wake me every morning?” a voice grumbled sleepily through your fingers.
Wait a second. There was a person in your bed?!
Your eyes shot open, the curtains thankfully covering the morning light from blinding you as you jumped out of the covers. Instinctively, your leg shot forward, kicking the stranger right in the side. He was sent tumbling off the bed with an audible “oomph,” and a heavy thump reverberated around the room. Followed by silence.
You kneeled on top of the bed, heart pounding as your nerves settled. You blinked, you had recognized that voice. Had that been Lucifer?!
You hurriedly crawled across the bed, your head peeking from off the side of it as you peered below you. Laying face down, was the familiar naked back of the fallen angel. His blonde hair messily spread across the wooden floor as he lay there motionless.
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!! Are you okay?!” You yelled down to him. He stirred, his head nodding slowly under the hair.
“You know, not too bad actually. Believe it or not, i’ve taken harder falls.” He mumbled against the wood.
Lucifer shifted, rolling onto his back. He looked up at you, before blowing a few strands of hair out of his eyes. He looked totally fine, if not tired from the sudden awakening. A few rays of the morning light beamed through the window, casting some of his features in a red glow as he watched you. God, he was gorgeous.
“I don’t remember falling asleep in my bed, what happened?” You asked him, slowly sitting up from your position. He mirrored you, lifting his torso from the ground.
“You didn’t expect us to sleep in a chair all night, did you? I’d be cracking my back for days if that was the case. You look so peaceful when you sleep, so I couldn’t bother to wake you. But yes, I moved us to the bed.”
“So yesterday was real..” You whispered,
“Uh, yeah. I killed a bunch of scumbags and saved you from becoming a splat on the pavement. Yesterday was definitely real.”
Lucifer sat up fully, before getting to his feet. He stretched, raising his arms above his head before opening his mouth up in a yawn. He was already dressed in a pair of loose fitting sweat pants as he strolled to the bathroom. Did he put those on using magic?
You stood from the edge of the bed, quickly walking to your dresser and pulling out a casual outfit. You began slipping it on, before turning towards the open bathroom door.
You watched Lucifer’s back flex slightly as he bent over to wash his face in the sink, your eyes drinking in his figure. Lucifer looked nothing like the ancient paintings visualized him to be. Your brain immediately recalled the image of Alexandre Cabanel’s famous painting, ‘The Fallen Angel’.
It depicted Lucifer as wide-shouldered, toned from head to toe with thick muscles. Nice calves too. Yet, standing here before you, he embodied an angel much more than he did in that painting. Elegant, serene, otherworldly.
Like how the candlelight perfectly illuminated his pearly-white skin, as if he was being basked in moonlight. Or how his touch was like velvet sheets against your skin, soft and delicate as he ran his fingers down your waist.
He exuded a certain feminine grace, that enraptured you when those pretty eyes of his sent you looks of adoration as you rambled about your current fixations, or gave him more lessons in art history. You smiled warmly at the thought, he was precious to you, no doubt.
“You know what, I’m thinking.. pancakes! We’ll finally put that big kitchen downstairs to use and make some breakfast.” Lucifer broke you out of your thoughts, as he walked up to you, pulling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. Damn, did he change without you even noticing again?
You smiled as he approached, the thought of food making your stomach growl. You were unbelievably hungry, seeing as there wasn’t exactly time last night to stop for a meal.
“That sounds like a good idea, we’ll get everyone else in on it too and eat together, a big hazbin-family breakfast.”
Lucifer nodded as he turned away from you, his eyes scanning the room. “Which reminds me, that means I can give Charlie the tuxedo…” He trailed off, turning to you slowly, a look of panic on his features.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lucifer rubbed a hand down his face, growling at himself. “I must have left the bag with her suit back at the club! Ugh, I'm such an idiot.”
“It’s still early, it won’t take you more than a minute to get across the city. Go get her a new one.” You commanded, pointing towards the balcony doors in your room.
Lucifer followed your finger, and then nodded quickly. “You’re right, I’ll go do that.” Quickly, he adjudged his bow-tie, before heading for the doors.
It wasn’t until his hand was just inches from the handle, did you see the rather large reddish-purple mark sticking out from the crook of his neck. Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed as you realized what exactly caused the bruise. How did you not notice that before?!
Quickly, you ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders, turning him to face you. “Wait! You.. well-you, um… got something on your neck?”
He regarded you for a moment, confusion written across his face. “Something.. on my neck?”
Your cheeks heated again, and you quickly reached up to grab the top of his shirt. On even further inspection, and a slight adjustment of his collar, you could make out the fainted curved indents of teeth marks along his collar bone.
Did you bite him that hard last night? You shouldn’t have done that. What if Charlie saw it? That would be so awkward.
“From.. last night,” you finally uttered, “when I got a little carried away.”
Lucifer’s gaze narrowed, and then they widened slightly as he understood. A smirk tugged on his lips as he backed away from your grasp. “So?”
“What do you mean ‘so’? It’s not normal for people to be walking around with hickeys all over them for everyone to gawk at!” You exclaimed, crossing your arms.
“Why, so they won’t know I had you screaming my name, drenched on top of that table?” He asked, motioning towards the very same dining table that you had been laid over in pure bliss the night before.
You quickly averted your gaze to stop a mental picture forming, and instead met his eyes. Sending him a glare for his bluntness. Walking across the room, you bent down and pulled his overcoat from the side of your bed. Brushing off any dirt, you made your way back to Lucifer.
Silently, you wrestled him into the white garment. He stood there and watched as you adjusted his tall collar, trying your best to hide any love marks. After a little more fussing, you felt satisfied with your work and stepped back.
“There, you’re ready to go! Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to go remind everyone that I am alive.” You spoke. Last night, Lucifer had told you Angel Dust had been dropped in the lobby. It was late enough where everyone should have been asleep, and since nobody came to look for you after that, you assumed Angel had passed out and was probably working through a nasty hangover somewhere in the hotel.
You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Lucifer’s lips, before nudging him towards the balcony doors. He turned, pulling them open and crossing the threshold. You stood in the entryway, watching him stroll to the black, metal railing. He glanced over the side, contemplating for a moment.
“Now, watch how the pro does it.” Lucifer teased as he turned to face you, his back leaning against the railing. With a little boost, he flipped himself backwards and vaulted over the metal bars. Your eyes widened in shock as he began to fall.
Right as his feet left the balcony, you ran to the railing peering over the side as you watched him plummet to the ground. Beneath him, a large, golden portal swirled alive waiting for him.
He waved up to you just as he crossed it, the portal swallowing him up and vanishing without a trace. You smiled, shaking your head at his little performance before turning back towards the doors.
For a few more minutes, you were busy tidying yourself up and trying to look presentable. You quickly squeezed some soap out of the little yellow ducky on the sink counter, and washed your hands and face. Soon, you noticed you were also adorned with a few love marks from Lucifer, and you sat in front of the mirror trying to hide them the best you could.
Feeling satisfied with your work, you turned away and headed for the doorway that led into the rest of the hotel. Grasping the handle, you slowly cracked the door open, peeking your head out slightly as you listed.
You could hear loud voices down the halls, in the direction of the lobby. There were multiple of them as if everyone was gathered in the same room, you exhaled a breath before straightening. Time to face the music.
Heading down the stairs, you strolled through the hallways. The voices became more and more audible as you closed in on the large, open room.
“-and then, I looked behind them and there was this guy all bloody and shit, pointing a gun right at Lucifer! I barely saw anything else happen b’for I was sucked into this.. golden portal or something.” Angel Dust’s voice echoed through the lobby, as he retold the events of last night. He was standing in front of the T.V, the residents of the hotel listening from the couches circled around him. They leaned in, engrossed in his story.
“Next thing I knew, my ass hit the floor right here. God.. I was just so out of it I practically passed out where I was. I don’t remember seeing either of them after that.. hey! you!” Angel’s eyes widened as he noticed you walking towards them. Suddenly, the entire hotel’s gaze was locked onto you.
Charlie quickly shot up from the couch, hurrying over to you. She scanned your figure, searching for any injuries as you stopped before her. After noting nothing serious was wrong with you, she took your hand, gripping it tightly. “Where have you been? Angel just told us everything that happened! Are you okay?”
“Don’t worry, I'm fine. I wasn’t hurt at all.” You assured the princess, smiling at her. Turning to the spider-demon, you scanned him for any injuries as well. “How about you, Angel. Are you okay?”
“Pfft, yeah. I’m okay. Just a lil shaken up, especially after watching you almost get shot. It seemed you got a good sleep, though.”
“Wait, you’ve been here this whole fucking time. Did anyone else know that?” Vaggie called from the couch, crossing her arms as she stood up.
“I did. They’ve been here all night.” Nifty spoke from the floor, her single eye staring into you.
How did she know that? Did Nifty.. hear anything?
“Uhm.. yes, that’s right. Yesterday was just rough. So, I went to sleep right away.” You answered, lying through your teeth.
“And my dad?” Charlie questioned.
You shrugged, “I have no clue.”
“Well, at least our dear friend is back safe and sound!” A familiar voice exclaimed from next to you. You jumped slightly, turning to see Alastor and his award-winning smile as he looked at you. “Charlie insisted that I come find you, but I assured her you are capable of handling your own affairs. Especially, with our lovely king to protect you.”
You smiled slightly at him, “Yes, indeed. I’m sorry for not coming to see you guys sooner. I just got.. distracted.”
“With what?” Angel asked, an eyebrow raised and hands on his hips. You paused, before opening your mouth to speak.
You weren’t able to get a word out before you heard a thumping coming from the front doors of the hotel. Everyone turned towards the noise, and through the stained glass, you could make out the silhouette of a rather tall hat peeking from the bottom of the glass.
“Well, ain’t that a little too good of timing.” Husk grumbled from the bar, as he leaned over the counter to get a look at the doorway. You silently agreed, that was fast.
Charlie recognized the familiar figure as well, and quickly ran to the door. She yanked it open, and there he was. Lucifer stood, adorned in his full outfit, a pink bag in his hand as he strode into the room. Next to you, you swore Alastor’s grip on his cane tightened.
“Charlie, good morning! How are you doing, sweetheart?” Lucifer beamed as he embraced her, who accepted the hug gratefully.
“I’m good, dad. But, what about you? I heard what happened! Did you kill people?” She eyed him with a firm stare, as if in disapproval of his actions.
Lucifer shrugged, “Only bad people, I had to protect your spider-friend over there. You should keep a better eye on him.”
“Apparently,” Charlie sighed, glancing at Angel behind them before turning back to her father, “and where have you been?”
Lucifer’s gaze momentarily landed on you, and you shook your head slightly. ‘Don’t say anything about it,’ you commanded him through your eyes. Especially not with everyone in the room, hungry for more information.
“Oh, wellllll, I was just in town and snagged this for you!” Lucifer lifted up the pink bag, a nervous smile on his lips as he held it out for Charlie to take.
Eyeing it curiously, Charlie gently took it from his hands. She peered into it, her eyes widening as she reached in and lifted the garment from its wrapping.
It was that same red suit that you had eyed through the glass display the day before, gold lapels shimmered in the light above. It was very beautiful, and you thought it would look good against Charlie’s ivory skin.
Charlie didn’t say anything, instead, she just stood there. The tuxedo in her grip, opened fully to reveal the entire garment. Her fingers lightly trailed down the front of it, grazing across the buttons and textured sleeves. Her eyes were unreadable, a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite place.
“Did you.. buy this for me?” She asked after a moment, looking up at Lucifer. He met her gaze, seemingly a little nervous from her reaction.
“Well, you said the one you had was getting a bunch of wear and tear, so I thought that would look perfect on you. Do.. you like it?”
“I love it!” Charlie exclaimed with glee, she set the suit aside and pulled her father into another bear hug. “Thank you so much! It's wonderful, especially since it’s from you!”
Lucifer exhaled a sigh of relief at her words, he tightened his arms around her, trying to capture every second of her loving gesture in his hold. He smiled warmly, and for a moment it looked like he was going to tear up.
He didn’t, instead he pulled away, straightening his back. He cleared his throat, rubbing at his face before looking back at Charlie. The adoration in his eyes was on full display, and if anyone ever doubted that the mighty king didn’t love his daughter, you’d slap them.
Adjusting his collar, Lucifer turned towards the group of onlookers. “Now, who wants some pancakes?”
Everyone seemed to perk at that, and Nifty hopped from her spot next to Alastor, raising her hand in excitement.
“As long as they are sssstrawberry pancakesss!” Sir. Pentious declared as he rose from his seat, slithering towards the swinging doors, where the large kitchen lay behind. His little eggs waddling after him, a chorus of ‘oh boy!’s rose from the shells.
“Cmon,” Husk beckoned Angel Dust as he left the bar, “Let's get something in your stomach to fight that hangover of yours.”
“Oh, yes please” Angel smiled, joining the bartender. Even Alastor seemed interested in joining them in the other room, as he slowly followed behind the group.
“I’m kinda feeling waffles today.” Vaggie spoke up, her hand entwined with Charlie’s as they walked.
“We can make whatever you wish,” you responded, smiling at her, “except, maybe not eggs. At least with the company we’re keeping.”
Pushing open the red doors, the flooring shifted into large, white marble tiles. The room was stuffed with cabinets and pantries, multiple fridges also dotted its perimeter. Long, creamy-white stone countertops lined the walls, as well as a large kitchen island in the center of the space.
There was an empty space on the other side of the room, big enough to hold a large dining table and chairs. It was actually a great place to do something like that, but where could
Behind you, Lucifer was pulling different ingredients out of the fridge. The shelves were surprisingly well stocked, even the pantries above as he continued to pull out items of importance.
“Dad, shouldn’t you take off your coat?” Charlie asked beside him, as she tied an apron around her waist. You tensed, slowly pivoting to their direction.
Lucifer halted, a box of baking powder hanging in mid-air between his fingers. His gaze snapped to you, then back to Charlie. You were desperately hoping no one could see the sweat beading down your forehead.
“You’re right,” Lucifer started, as he placed the baking powder on the counter, “I can’t cook with such loose sleeves.”
He snapped his fingers, and it seemed like the coat began to melt against his skin, shifting into a white turtleneck. The long neck sleeve covered the hickeys that peppered the sides of his throat, continuing to hide your previous entanglement. And, damn, he looked really nice in that outfit too.
Tying on a red apron with the words ‘Kiss the chef’ embroidered on the front. After pulling up his sleeves, Lucifer began to pull out mixing bowls and other utensils.
“Just you wait, Charlie, after today you’ll never want anyone else’s pancakes again. My recipe is the best there is.” He spoke, puffing out his chest slightly as he addressed his daughter.
Charlie only laughed softly, pulling out a box containing waffle mix as she sidled up next to her dad. “I don’t doubt that one bit!”
As the two continued prepping to cook, you turned to grab an apron of your own. As you walked to the wooden hooks hanging on the wall, you took note of the others around you.
Angel, Husk, and Sir. Pentious huddled together over another counter, a carton of milk and a jar of strawberry jam laid in front of them.
“How ‘bout we make ya some strawberry milk while we wait, snake boy?” He asked, a playful smile on his lips. Sir. Pentious nodded quickly, his hood raised in happiness.
Using a tablespoon to take a few scoops out of the jar, he plopped them into an empty cocktail mixer that he borrowed from the bar. Pouring in the milk, he placed the lid on the mixer, before handing it to Husk.
With a few shakes—and a couple of party tricks consisting of him catching the mixer behind his back, and spinning it across his forearm—the lid was popped off, and Husk poured the bright pink liquid into the glass cup in front of Sir. Pentious.
Both demons clapped for the bartender, who smiled proudly at the reaction. Sir. Pentious gingerly lifted the glass to his lips, before taking a small sip. After a moment, eyes lit up, a large smile on his face.
He took another large gulp, before thanking Angel Dust and Husk for the drink.
“Oh, and don’t forget about my egg boisss.” Sir. Pentious turned to Angel Dust, pointing at the small group of eggs looking enviously up at the drink in his claws.
Angel looked down, his eyes darting to the ingredients in front of him, before he simply shrugged. “Alright, who’s thirsty?”
“I would like some, please!” Frank yelled excitedly, the eggs behind him jumping in place with large smiles on their faces.
Angel Dust chuckled, turning away to grab more glasses. Husk was already preparing the scoops of jam, licking a small mess of the red foodstuff from his claws.
Grabbing the apron from the hook, you adjusted it to your figure, tying it tight behind your back. Next to you, Vaggie was holding a knife in her hand. She was looking down, a firm gaze aimed at Nifty.
“No, Niff. This is not a place to run around with a knife. You can get it back after breakfast.”
Nifty’s shoulders drooped, a frown on her face as she walked away. She passed by Alastor, who stood silently, watching the bustling group of demons. Wasn’t he going to join in? He was technically part of the Hazbin family.
Slowly, you approached him, and his gaze snapped to you. His smile widened as he turned to you, the cane at his side rolling between his fingers.
“Ah, hello there, my friend! Good to see you alive and well, ha-ha,” His eyes squinted as he tilted his head at you, “what can I do for you today?”
“Don’t you want some food? We’ll be cooking soon. It doesn’t have to be breakfast, I think we have enough here to make whatever you want.”
Alastor actually contemplated your question for a moment, his eyes staring off in thought. “Hm, well, there was something I had in mind, but the seasoning it needs is not in my possession anymore.”
“What happened to it?” You asked curiously.
“I simply gave it to someone more in need of it than I. Hopefully, she’ll be putting good use to it.”
A lady friend? You wanted to ask about this ‘someone’, but felt prying wouldn’t get you anywhere with the mysterious overlord. Instead, you beckoned him to follow as you walked towards the counter space Lucifer and Charlie were situated at.
You both stopped at the creamy-white marbled island. On its surface, was a large recipe book and different ingredients spread across. Alastor had to like something here, even if it wasn’t a decaying deer.
“Let’s see.. we could do french toast, yogurt parfaits, breakfast burritos, oh! We even could make hash browns! What do you think?”
Alastor bent down to look besides you, his eyes scanning the pages. He opened his mouth to speak, before his gaze snapped to another demon coming into view.
“Darling, i’ve finished the pancake mix. I was thinking you could…” Lucifer stopped, locking eyes with the Radio Demon. A frown formed on his lips, and his brow furrowed. “Oh. It’s you.”
That smile Alastor held widened, as he straightened himself and turned towards the fallen angel. You grimaced, not again.
“Your majesty! What a pleasure to see you this hellish morning, I apologize for not being able to greet you when you arrived earlier.”
“A tragedy.” Lucifer responded mildly, before his eyes settled on you.
“Well isn’t this nice! The four of us, all working together to make this breakfast special.” Charlie appeared besides her father, a smile on her lips as she tried to lighten the situation.
“Yes, I was just asking Alastor what else he thinks we should make.” You nodded along, before turning to the demon for his input.
“It appears your menu contains a less-than-ideal amount of meat, my friend. Perhaps, some bacon roll-ups? They were a staple for meals back in my days on earth. Very simple as well, just cream cheese, bread, and bacon!”
You were aware of what he was talking about. They were made by putting cream cheese on a slice of bread, before using a strip of bacon to roll it into a ball. You’d spear it with a toothpick and bake it for about twenty minutes, and wala, an odd delicacy.
“That is a great idea! Isn’t it, dad?” Charlie asked, nudging her father with her elbow, prodding for a response.
“It sounds kind of gross.”
“Dad!” Charlie turned, a slight growl in her voice. “Say something nice!”
“Bacon is much better than venison, though!” Lucifer quickly responded, following his daughter’s demand. You place a hand to your face, sighing at his antics. A hint of smile played on your lips as you walked forward, pulling Lucifer away by the arm.
Charlie turned back to Alastor, their conversation inaudible as you walked away. You went to the opposite side of the kitchen, where the bowl full of pancake batter lay. Flour messily covered the countertop,
“You two need to learn to get along, you bicker like an old married couple.” You said after a few moments.
Lucifer shot you a look, visibly distraught by your comment. “That guy gets on my nerves! If it weren’t for Charlie liking him so much, I'd smite him.”
“Yeah, yeah, tough guy,” you teased, leaning against him. You both sat there for a few moments, silently indulging in each other's presence. Later, you’d ask to seek his company in the privacy of your room. For now, you pulled away, grabbing the mixing bowl.
“So, what did you need my help with?”
“I thought you’d like to give the pancakes a little.. shape,” he started, turning towards the stove and spinning the dial, “use that artistic talent of yours and make a delicious masterpiece, hm?”
You perked, he wants you to make pancake art? What a wonderful idea! This was something you have never done before, but you’ve seen enough videos to imitate it. “I’ll go get some dark food coloring, and another mixing bowl.”
Lucifer began placing pans onto the stove burners, placing small amounts of butter in each. They sizzled as the pan began to heat. You stood besides him, slowly stirring the batter as you hummed to the tune of ‘innsbruck, I must leave thee’
Soon, Lucifer was humming the notes as well, and you smiled warmly as the two of you stood-by-side, drowning out the other’s chatter with your little tune.
Nearby, Vaggie and Charlie were giggling to each other as they placed the waffle mix into its designated maker. Small bowls of different fruit and syrup spread around, as they prepared the toppings.
Alastor stood beside them, a large cooking fork floating mid-air in front of him. Small tendrils snaked around the utensil as it occasionally lowered to the pan in front of him to adjust the bacon.
“Hey, Al! Why don’cha give us a table over here so we can have somewhere to eat?” Angel Dust called, a stack of plates in his hand. The egg bois stood patiently around him, each holding a set of silverware and napkins.
Alastor turned to the spider-demon before humming a confirmation. Lifting his hand, he snapped his fingers. A large oak table materialized from a cloud of green smoke, a long, red table-runner rolled free as it hung slightly off the edges.
Chairs seemingly rose from the floor like the undead, rocking slightly as they settled around the table. The egg bois rushed forward, clumsily climbing up the chairs as they began placing the silverware. Using his extra arms, Angel quickly placed the plates down, before doing the same with the glass cups.
Husk raised Nifty by the waist, allowing her to reach over the table and pour the different liquid contents into their respectable glasses.
Strawberry milk for Sir. Pentious and his bois, water for Alastor, and chocolate milk for Vaggie and Charlie. Apple juice filled Lucifer’s cup, and your favorite drink was topped to the brim right next to his.
In front of you, two bowls of batter laid beside the stove you stood at. One was a dark brown, the other a much lighter shade.
You had cleaned two ketchup bottles, before slowly pouring in the different batters and filling them full. Using the bottles, you’d make batter shapes on the pan, and use the lighter shade to fill in the lineart.
Right now, you were attempting to make the outline of a duck—who would have thought?—for Lucifer. It was coming out surprisingly well, in your opinion. The lines were rather smooth, and the beak looked like a beak so all seemed good.
You switched bottles, ready to begin filling in the pancake. Before you felt someone sidle up behind you, fingers grazed softly down your back with familiar warmth.
“What are you doing now?” Lucifer peeked from behind you, getting a glimpse of your work. You moved over slightly, inviting him in front of your cooking easel.
“Take a guess,” you smiled next to him, “I figured you’d want something cute to start off your day.”
“Well, it seems you made it too cute to eat.” Lucifer pouted, as he stared at the little pancake. You laughed, reaching for a spatula and gripping the pan handle with the other hand.
“And it’s too cute to let it get cold and then throw it away.” You spoke, lowering the spatula into the pan. You shimmied it underneath the pancake, before flipping it quickly. As it landed, the image of the duck became much clearer, the lines flat and smooth.
“I’m just glad you love me enough to combine my two favorite things.” Lucifer smiled, before he nuzzled his cheek softly against yours. You moved your head slightly, letting your lips graze against his cheekbone.
Looking down at the pancake, you lifted it slightly to check whether it was done. Seeing the golden-brown hue, you lifted the ban from the burner. Slowly, you slid the duck-cake onto the finished pile.
There were two plates of hot, delicious pancakes. One was simply everyday pancakes, which Lucifer had made. Yours on the other hand were handcrafted Each one was a unique shape. There was a smiley face, an octopus, a butterfly, a fish, and now, a duck. You smiled proudly at your creations.
Picking up the plates of pancakes, the two of you walked towards the dining table. The egg bois were already seated, and the others were finishing up their tasks.
“Finally, let’s eat!” Vaggie called towards the group of demons slowly gathering around the table. Charlie picked up a few waffles from the stack, and placed them on a few plates.
Vaggie appeared next to her, a small plate of french toast in her grip as she too began moving around the table.
Alastor set a large, flat dish in the middle of the table. Small toothpicks stuck out of the bacon wraps, steam wafting slowly from the interior. Nifty reached out and grabbed one, placing it on her plate.
You turned towards the pile of pancakes, grabbing a spatula to begin setting them on a separate plate before Lucifer slid beside you, watching your movements.
“I’ve got this, Darling. You go sit down.” He nudged you away from the plates, towards the table. You sent him a warm smile, before turning and taking a seat next to Sir. Pentious and Husk.
“Saved a seat for me, did’ya?” Angel Dust smiled at Husk, before plopping down into the seat next to him. He had a large fruit bowl, a multitude of sliced colorful produce nestled together.
“Only because you’d bitch if I didn’t,” Husk replied, a faint smile playing on his lips as he drank from his glass. To be honest, this was the first time you saw Husk take a sip of something that wasn’t alcohol.
Charlie lowered the large plate of remaining waffles onto the table, before brushing her hands against her apron and walking to her own seat.
“Dig in, everyone!” she exclaimed, her smile infectious as she served herself a stack of french toast.
Nifty’s eyes widened in delight as she took a bite of the bacon wrap, while Sir Pentious marveled at the designs of your handcrafted pancakes.
“Here you go, little lady.” Lucifer bowed slightly to Nifty, setting down the steaming tower of pancakes in front of her. She clapped her hands with giddy, before turning to Lucifer and giving him a pat on the cheek.
“Good boy.” She teased, before bursting into giggles.
Lucifer’s smile faltered, and he leaned back. He chuckled nervously, backing away to grab more food. He quickly walked around the table, before setting waffles onto each of the eggs boi’s plates. They licked their lips hungrily, as they stared down at the delicacy in front of them. Lucifer stood up, a hand slowly reaching behind his back.
“A good friend of mine told me you boys fancy ice cream, is that right?” He looked at Frank, who nodded his shell rapidly. Lucifer grinned cheekily, as he pulled forth a large tub of vanilla ice cream.
“Well, good thing for you, nobody said you can’t mix a little dessert with breakfast once in a while.”
The egg bois practically went berserk seeing the holy grail of yummy deliciousness. They vibrated happily in their seats as Lucifer scooped a large glob on top of each egg’s waffles. It began to slowly melt, running across the waffles surface like syrup.
He stepped back, as the eggs began to devour the food on their plates. Mumbling a thanks through their full mouths as Lucifer strode away, grabbing pancakes for himself.
He sat down across from you, his eyes moving from the scene around him and then on to you. He stared at you for a moment, while you were busy stuffing your face with the food on your plate. After a moment, you met his gaze.
“Food too hot, or something? You keep staring at me.” You teased, tilting your head at him.
“It’s just hard to tear my gaze away,” he spoke, “when there is something much more delicious in front of me than the pancakes on my plate.”
Your cheeks heated, and you averted your gaze, reaching out to grab a bacon wrap. You twisted the toothpick between your fingers, and inhaled the scent as it wafted from the small bundle.
It wasn’t too bad, and you were about to take a nibble before you saw Lucifer’s watery eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him, and he only sniffled in response.
“You’re going to eat his wraps before you eat my pancakes?” He pouted, lowering his head in mock-defeat. Rolling your eyes playfully, you took a fork and cut a small piece of pancake from the rest. Taking the bacon wrap, you stabbed the other end of the toothpick through the small square.
Lifting the bacon-pancake duo to your lips, you pulled them from the toothpick with your teeth. You swirled it in your mouth, your eyes rolling back as the flavors burst on your tongue.
When you looked back at Lucifer, he was staring intensely at you. A smirk playing on his lips, before he sighed dramatically.
“Now what is it?”
“Nothing.. just thinking about how that could be me.”
You burst out laughing when those words left his lips, shocked at his sudden bluntness. Sir Pentious turned to you, giving you a look of worry as you almost choked on your food.
After a moment, you cleared your throat. You sent Lucifer a glare for almost killing you, and he only chuckled before turning his attention from you.
Charlie, who had been sitting a few chairs away, turned to you. She smiled warmly as she spoke, “thank you for helping us with this. I really liked your butterfly pancake!”
You returned the smile, nodding your head. “It was no problem at all, I think we all deserve to have a good meal surrounded by friends. It’s you who brought us all together, so thank you.”
Charlie blushed at your words, before turning her attention back to Vaggie. Who was talking to her about an idea regarding the hotel.
You looked around the table, taking note of the smiling faces and cheerful conversation. Alastor was helping Nifty cut some of her pancakes, his precise strikes with the knife seemed familiar to that of cutting steaks.
Sir Pentious was handing his eggs each a piece of french toast, helping them drown it in syrup as they sat there happily. Slight traces of ice cream still around their mouths.
Angel Dust and Husk were busy picking fruit from the bowl, with Angel making some kind of lude comment as he watched fruit juice dribble down Husk’s chin. Who only growled and playfully swatted at the spider-demon.
Your gaze stopped in front of you, resting on Lucifer. He had finished almost his entire plate, and now was resting his chin against his knuckles. His elbow rested against the table, and he shifted slightly to tilt his head at you.
“Well, what do you think? Would you have preferred breakfast in bed?” He asked, taking another sip of his apple juice.
You shook your head, smiling at him. Contentedness spreads across your features as you let the food settle in your stomach.
“No, I could get used to mornings like this,” you spoke softly.
Lucifer nodded, his fingers reaching out to graze yours. You laced your index finger with his, and tapped his knuckles softly.
“Yeah, me too.” 
who doesn’t enjoy some fluff about cooking with your lover? just pure fluff today, but i hope you guys enjoyed this! :)
sorry about that long wait, forgive me 🙏
taglist: @ohnoivefallen @doodlebob2726 @coleisyn @loslox @sukxma @undertale-is-sansational @nehy019 @mixplara @chewbrry @yellowsubiesdance @airwolf92 @laurenlaurie @lxkeee @jellybellyrulez @catnoirsleftnut @mbruben-stein @mint129106 @froggybich @moonlovers34 @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @lil-bexie @lowkeyhottho @wings-of-sapphire @kottenox
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A New Daddy
Aaron sighed as he kicked another rock down the walking path. He found himself here a lot nowadays. It offered him some much needed peace and a place to think about his life. In reality, Aaron was overjoyed. His wife was due any day and he’d be a father soon. But Aaron was anxious. His dad was not much of a father and left the family when he was young. And because of that, the soon to be father was worried... what if he was a bad father? What if he messed up something? He never had a real role model. With another sigh, he sat down on the edge of a small pond and started skipping stones. As he looked out over the lake, he didn’t register the strange glow coming from the stone in his hand.
“I just wish I’ll be a good dad.” He whispered as he tossed the stone.
He watched as the stone hopped across the pond and with each hop glowing slightly brighter. He was fixated on the strange glow- it was perhaps one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. But his amazement quickly subsided as he felt a cool breeze pass over his bare skin. Wait... bare skin!? Aaron jumped up and looked down at his naked form. He quickly covered his junk and looked around in terror. Where’d his clothes go? What if someone saw him? Wait... since when did his chest hair look like that? Aaron watched as the light dusting of chest hairs that adorned his toned chest started to darken. And as they darkened, more started to sprout across his pale skin. He raised his hand to his chest, confirming that these new growths were real, but quickly yelped in surprise when he noticed the same wiry dark hairs sprouting across his arms.
“I need to get help.” He whispered, turning his attention away from the thick pelt that was growing over him, “Where’s my phone? Fuck did that disappear to? I’ll just need to ask someone... anyone...”
Aaron took a step forward to start his search and cried out in pain as his foot touched the ground. It felt like all the muscles in his body were contracting. He watched through teary eyes as his calves and thighs exploded with muscle- thickening and becoming large like tree trunks. He winced as he raised his arms and watched as his previously thin and toned musculature started to thicken. His forearms were first, followed by his biceps and triceps, which were becoming padded with thick layers of muscle and fat. While incredibly painful, he was amazed. What guy doesn’t dream of having muscles like this? But this wasn’t natural and he couldn’t do anything as his body continued to transform against his will. Aaron watched as his flat, but now hairy abdomen, pushed out with layers of fat. He’d never be called “beanpole” again, he realized. But just as his stomach was blossoming into a firm muscle gut, his hairy chest was following closely. He packed on layers of muscle and fat to his previously toned chest. All the while, a pleasure was building from nipples, which were becoming larger and perkier. Aaron let out a silent cry as a cold sweat washed over him and his muscles relaxed.
“I... need... help...” He breathed out, flipping over and forcing himself up.
He stood unsteadily on his thickened legs. He was certainly taller than before. And as he tried to reorient himself, he became unbalanced and fell to his knees. He met his reflection in the still pond water. It was still him. His light dirty blond hair, kind eyes, and youthful face. But... but he couldn’t help but noticed that his stubble looked slightly darker. And before he could do anything, he watched with dread as his facial hair became darker and started to form into a manly beard. He couldn’t turn away as he watched his dirty blond hair fall from the top of his head, until he was completely bald. And then a new feeling washed over him as his skin became tougher and weathered as his body aged rapidly.
“No... fuck no.” He whispered as he turned away from his new reflection, “This... how did this?” He winced at how gruff and deep his new voice was. This didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. He felt tears in his eyes as he looked down as his hairier, older, and thicker form.
And suddenly the world spun around him- shifting and changing rapidly. The now older man felt his head spin as the world around him changed. He was no longer in a park, but instead what looked like a home workout room. Weights and equipment scattered all around him. And as the world stopped spinning, he attempted to regain his footing, but fell with a loud bang.
“Fuck!” He shouted, his deeper voice again causing him to wince. He quickly looked around, but everything seemed to be tinted darker, “Sunglasses?” He whispered as he caught sight of himself in the gym’s mirror, “What am I wearing?” It looked like some type of leather harness wrapped around his chest, causing his muscular pecs to be more pronounced, “At least I’m not naked anymore.” He mused, looking down at the white jockstrap that covered his dick, “Where the fuck am I? I need to find Amy and get help...”
“Daddy?” Aaron froze when he heard the high-pitched, feminine, yet decidedly male voice. He turned and locked eyes with the man, “Oh my god, daddy are you okay?”
Aaron’s eyes widened as the younger man ran towards him, wearing nothing more than a light-blue jockstrap. Each step causing the platinum blond man’s ass to bounce. Aaron was mesmerized, his eyes fixated on the guy’s massive bubble butt. How perky and jiggly it was. How much he wanted to squeeze it. Wait? Squeeze it?
“I don’t need you.” Aaron spat, picking himself up, “Get away from me!” Wait... why was his cock growing? He wasn’t into men? Or their sexy asses. Sexy? Aaron gripped his head, “Wait... no... stop...”
“But daddy, I just want to help you.” The twink bit his lower lip and walked up to Aaron, “And you’ve been working so hard.” He traced his hands along Aaron’s hairy muscular torso, “Please daddy, just a taste.” He moaned as his hand slipped under Aaron’s jockstrap.
Aaron’s mind was filled with conflicting thoughts. He was going to be a father... but wasn’t he already a daddy? A daddy? A damn good daddy, right? But didn’t he like women? Wasn’t he married? Why would he be married? Since when was he ever with a woman? Since when did he ever want to be with a woman?
“Please daddy.” The twink moaned as he pulled down the jockstrap, freeing Aaron’s cock. And he didn’t protest.
As the twink wrapped his mouth around the older man’s cock, Aaron’s mind spun even faster. It felt so good, so much better than any time with a woman. And as he looked down at the slut on his knees, his ass jiggling with each thrust of Aaron’s monster cock, a new feeling washed over him.
“Deeper, boy.” Aaron commanded, gripping the back of the twink’s head and forcing his cock deeper, “Show daddy how much you want it.”
The twink obliged and Aaron threw his head back in pleasure. His spinning thoughts were settling down. His new identity taking hold. He was a dom daddy. A good daddy for his little slut. Nothing before this mattered- nothing ever mattered, just this. Even his old self was becoming content, quieting down and falling into a state of blissful pleasure. After all, he just wanted to be a good daddy? Wish granted, right?
“God damn, boy!” Aaron shouted as he came, sending torrents of cum down his slut’s throat. He sat down on the workout bench, while his slut breathed heavily.
“Oh daddy, thank you.” The twink moaned, “You’re the best daddy ever.”
Aaron smirked, “Damn right, boy.” He smirked at himself in the mirror. Fuck he looked good. A true man. His attention turned back to his slut, “Now boy, are you ready for round two?”
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kevan pov is soo crazy bc it’s like. he’s the best and kindest lannister he loves his wife and family and gives cold messenger boys pennies. but he also made his niece whom he loves walk naked and bald through king’s landing to be abused by everyone in the city and he thought that was the right thing to do for her. and in his pov you can see how all of this cognitive dissonance is creaking at the seams because he has to reassure himself every three paragraphs that it was the right thing to do, and that cersei will be okay because he’s so obviously worried that he’s irreparably hurt her (which he has). by all accounts kevan is a good man - by westerosi patriarchal standards he’s a saint - but that doesn’t matter because his own moral standards are so irreparably warped by that patriarchy. because he is, ultimately, a good man, i think he can tell this but to truly realise that what he did visited horrific and unjustifiable trauma upon his niece would bring with it unbearable guilt, so he just lives in this insane prison of cognitive dissonance.
and at the centre of it all is tywin lannister winner of the worst man in westeros award 50th year running even after his death
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Accidental Part: 2
(Part 1: Here)
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
Warnings: SMUT 18+, Oral, angst, kidnapping.
Word count: 1,000
Summary: After accidentally sending something you weren't supposed to to Jason, it seems it goes on a little further.
✨MASTERLISTS✨
—————————————————————————
It had been weeks since your one-night stand.
Well.
Weeks since your “one night stand” in a library. Since then you had a one-night stand with him in your car, his room at the manor, at his apartment, and a few in your place after he’d finished patrol.
Which is what was happening now.
You were lying on your back in your bed, his hands on the back of your thighs as he pushed your knees up into your chest, his mouth down on you as his tongue spread your folds and he sucked on your clit.
Weak, needy whimpers left your lips as your fingernails once again dug into his scalp, which earnt a low chuckle with a moan at the end of it “God, doll, I’m going to lose hair if you keep tugging so hard”
“Sorry” You let out a faint chuckle and loosened the grip your fingers had a little, but still kept a firm grip, just not enough to cause premature baldness.
With a soft smile he carried on working, moaning under his breath at your taste, the hand on the back of your right knee trailed down the back of your thigh. His fingernails scratched at your skin as it went before he left a firm slap on your behind which earned a playful yelp from you.
His hand then moved to cup his swelling cock through his trousers, a cocky smirk on his face as he worked to free it “Ready, Babygirl?”
—------
“Do you have to go? You could stay the night?” You lay in your bed, duvet draped over your naked body whilst Jason was putting his cargo pants and tact straps back on, double checking that the safety was on his pistols before placing them back in their holsters where they had been knocked from in his haste to strip. “It’s not like this is exactly a one-night stand situation anymore, it kinda specifies in the name that it’s only supposed to be for one night” you added, resulting in a heavy sigh from him.
“This is not a relationship either”
“What-”
“I don't want a relationship, Doll, commitment? Having to check in on each other constantly? Not being able to do stuff on our own anymore because society expects us to either do everything together or that we are arseholes if we don't? No, this is just a friends-with-benefits situation and that's all it will ever be” He said sternly and almost word vomited at you, his words hitting you right in the gut which caused you to pull the duvet up tighter around you, making you feel almost ashamed that you were still naked beneath it.
The soft, sweet Jason you had discovered over the past weeks of closeness that you shared suddenly disappeared and all you had access to was the gruff, rude, and stubborn exterior that everyone had access to, you had lost what was inside and that hurt more than his words, it felt like he no longer trusted you anymore.
“Good night, okay? Try to sleep. I’ll be going away with Roy for the next week or so, got a contract about a cartel that I need to do, so I won’t be around” He said quietly, pausing for a few moments like he was considering kissing you before putting his helmet back on, but chose not to. Slipping out of your bedroom into the darkness of the hallway without another word, once you heard the living room window that you always left unlocked for him slide shut you couldn't stop the tears from escaping.
—---------
Lies. All of it had been lies. He wanted all of what he said he didn't, he wanted it with you. He wanted to wear stupid, cheesy matching pyjamas with you. He wanted to go to a store and window shop all of the furniture and decor that you two would pick for your place together, fuck, he wanted a place with you. With ceiling-high bookcases and lamps that were always used instead of the big main ceiling light. He wanted to come home from patrol and see you relaxing on the sofa with a book, he just wanted you, and he wished from the bottom of his heart that he had told you, he wished he wasn’t so scared and trapped in his trauma that he could have admitted it to you instead of lying straight to your face when he had last seen you. The hurt in your eyes as they lost their glow had been stuck in his mind his entire trip.
And they were stuck in his mind, eating away at him now that you were gone.
Gone.
Someone had kidnapped you whilst you were walking home from work, according to the CCTV Babs had found they had grabbed you and pulled you into an alleyway and you weren't seen coming out, however, when Tim and Dick turned up you were nowhere to be seen. The only trace anyone had seen of you since was your smashed-up phone that was found 12 streets away from the alley.
You had gone, and he wasn't there to protect you.
“Come on! There has to be something!” Jason shouted down his comms line to Barbara as he weaved in and out of traffic manically on his bike, his knuckles going white under his gloves from the force of his grip on the handlebars “You have access to every public camera in Gotham, and some private ones, yet you’re telling me you haven't found even a trace of her!?”
“Jason!” Dick shouted back, scolding his younger brother “We are all trying our hardest to find her, and we will”
“Sorry, shit, sorry…I just…we need to find her, I need to find her”
“Hey, It’s okay, I know you’re stressed. You can make it up to me by buying me a pizza” She laughed down the line.
And he would.
He’d buy all the pizza she wanted if she found you.
Tag list:
@igotanidea
#dc#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd smut#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader drabble#jason todd x you#jason todd x you drabble#red hood smut
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Gainers Roulette
It's a risky game played by men desperate enough to risk their bodies for a chance at a bigger life. Men come from far and wide to play a game of Gainer roulette, some come out strong and sexy, some aren't so lucky. Although the game isn't all luck, it has a way of punishing those it deems unworthy.
Six needles are loaded, four with a serum that increases muscle and testosterone in the body, and two with a serum that drastically increases age and fat in the body.
The first player is a young man who pulls up on a motorcycle. He learned how to ride a motorcycle so that he could join his dad's group, but now he just gets picked on for being young and skinny. Well regardless, him being skinny won't be a problem after this.
He takes the serum. Immediately his face starts to change. His young and smooth features become more ragged, his clean shaven face quickly grows thick black hairs giving him a bushy beard, and the hairs on his head fall out leaving him with a smooth bald head. At this point it's hard to tell if he's won or not. Aging and losing hair is a common sign of losing, but he did want to look older and tougher so it could be either.
Next his body started to rapidly grow. He grew taller and taller as his shoulders broadened and his chest grew two juicy pecs that burst out of his shirt. His flat stomach grew into a thick six pack with a small layer of fat covering them. His arms exploded with muscle, becoming large and defined. Hair started to grow all over his body, covering his chest, stomach, and arms, giving him a much tougher look.
Moving downward, his previously flat ass perked up and pressed firmly against his shorts. His legs thickened as a thick pelt of hair grew over them, and his feet grew a few sizes, busting out of his shoes. And finally, a large bulge formed in his tight shorts, just for good measure.
Looks like we have a winner. The man leaned against his motorcycle and looked down at his nearly naked body. He smiled before riding off.
Our next player arrives in a luxury car. These never go well, rich guys only have one thing money can't buy them, good looks. So they come here expecting to walk out strong and good looking, let's see how this goes.
An average looking guy in an expensive polo and a gold chain walk out of the car. Not exactly what I expected, but close enough. He appears to be on the phone, and he doesn't seem to be enjoying the phone call. He puts the caller on hold as he approaches and takes the shot without even saying a word to me.
The man's well kept hair quickly falls off his head as his facial features start to age. It's not looking good for him so far. His cheeks puff out as a couple of chins grow under his soft jawline.
His scrawny body bursts out of his expensive polo as his gut grows bigger and bigger. He is left with a big hairy beer gut hanging out of his ripped shirt. His chest soon follows, growing into a thick pair of man tits with cheap looking tattoos on them.
His arms and legs thicken with mostly fat as his hands become thick and pudgy. The man is left old, bald, and fat. This is what usually happens to the rich guys who come here. He resumes his phone call as if nothing happened before getting in his car and driving away.
The next player slowly walks up holding a cane. He is an elderly sheriff who had to quit his job due to his physical condition, but wants to work again.
The man takes the shot, and almost right away his back straightens as he grows taller. Most of the wrinkles on the man's skin disappear as his he grows a clean silver beard. His receded hairline grows back and his skin tans from a pale white to a healthy golden brown.
The man's chest perks up and his shoulders broaden, filling out his sheriff uniform. The fat in his stomach disappears, leaving his uniform hanging off of his pecs. His biceps tripled in size, filling with muscle until they were about to rip his sleeves. His ass perks up and his thighs thicken, filling out his pants.
The man stands tall, smiles and nods at me approvingly before leaving without a word.
Next player is a young man who pulls up on a bike. He says he's close to getting drafted into the football league of his dreams, but he just hasn't been able to put on the weight needed for his position. Well either way I'm sure he'll be beyond heavy enough.
He takes the shot and his body starts to fill out. His skinny arms grow large and strong and his flat chest plumps up into two defined pecs, bursting through his tiny shirt. His pudgy stomach tightens up into a barely visible six pack with a sizable layer of fat covering it.
His legs and his ass explode with muscle and fat, giving the young man the look of a superstar football player. The pressure in his shorts grows until they rip open in dramatic fashion, making his ass bounce as it's released. Finally his face fills out, matching the rest of his massive body.
It looks like we have another winner. He seems to come to after the transformation is complete, an embarrassed look takes over his face as he attempts to cover his dick with his hands. His hands are quite massive, but it would be futile to try to cover up the monster he's got packing down there.
I throw him a towel to cover up and he thanks me before biking off.
The next player is a middle aged man who shows up in a barely functioning mini van. He said he used to be an athlete but had to stop after a serious injury. Ever since he had his kids, he has gained a lot of weight and struggles to do any activities with his kids.
The man takes the shot, and similar to the sheriff from before, his back straightens as his height increases drastically. Within moments the small feeble man with a can has become a tall and imposing man. His height has made his shorts look like short shorts and his shirt look like a bra, exposing his hairy gut. This would not last long however, as the fat in his body rapidly started to drain. As it did, his body began to twitch as an immense amount of muscle started to grow in his body. His hulking gut became a rock hard six pack and his moobs became a juicy pair of pecs. The man's soft arms became solid and defined as his hands became thick and calloused. His legs became strong and sturdy, and his ass became round a perky instead of sagging like it did before.
The man's face slimmed down, making his double chin fade as a thick black beard grew over his face. His receding hairline also grew back a little bit, giving him a more youthful look. Finally, a thick pelt of hair grew all over the man's body. Though the transformation seemed very taxing on the man, and he ended up passing out.
He must have been 6"4 and at least 250 pounds, so dragging his body to a bed was no easy task. It didn't take long for him to wake up. He thanked me profusely before getting up and leaving in the minivan.
Our last player for today is a young man who shows up in a cop car. He approaches wearing a police uniform, he feels he is not being respected by the more senior police. He wants to be more intimidating and demand more respect, but something tells me that his co-workers aren't the only reason he wants to be more intimidating. Unfortunately for him, he has no idea that there is only one shot left and it is not a winner.
The man impatiently takes the shot. Almost immediately, the man's flat stomach distended outward into a beer belly. It grows and grows until rips through his police uniform, leaving him in a tight black undershirt. He is left with a thick ball gut that hangs out of his shirt. His once defined pecs grow into two soft man tits that lay on his gut. The fat in his chest has even forced his arms to lay further out from his body. Speaking of his arms, they plump up under a thick layer of fat, nearly ripping his sleeves in the process. Even his hands look fat, with fingers that look like stuffed sausages.
Lucky for the young man, his uniform pants seemed to be slightly too big for him, so they have enough room to store his new body. His ass explodes with fat, stretching his large pants to their limit. His thighs follow suit, filling his pants until they're about to burst.
Just when the transformation is about to end, it gets worse for the young man. His face becomes pudgier as a thick double chin forms on his neck. But as the fat filled his face, the stubble on his chin went from brown to white. The hair on his head followed suit, becoming a pale white colour as his hairline slightly receded. Wrinkles started to form on his face as he began to rapidly age. From his mid twenties, to forties, all the way to his sixties in mere moments. His body started to sag under its own weight as blemishes formed on his skin.
Police equipment was scattered across the floor as the man was left in a tiny black undershirt and pants that barely fit. He flexed, making his shirt ride up even more, and smiled as he looked at his body. It seems as though he is unaware of how different his body was mere moments ago. He chuckled and states that the station will have no choice but to respect a man of his stature, and besides, he's definitely old enough to get some seniority. He picks up his ripped uniform off the ground and comments that it must have shrunk in the wash and that he needs to get a new one. He thanks me before squeezing into his police car and driving off
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Can I request headcanons for bg3 (basically the whole party) for the holiday seasons? (Fem aligned pronouns) Where reader was isekai'd from our world and she asks the party about holidays and is kind of bummed out theres nothing really similar to Christmas since its one of her favorite holidays. So When it gets cold out reader buys everyone a gift and wraps it with birch bark to surprise everyone?
If you dont want to do the holiday thing maybe just reader who gets Isekai'd and has zero idea what to do and is really scared of everything because she has no idea whats going on?
hii thank you for the request, and have a happy holiday season!
BG3 x Christmas HCs
Astarion
looks at his Christmas gift “what in the hells is that?” “Is it poisonous or does it explode?” He just can’t fathom you’re just giving him a present. No ones ever been kind to him let alone share festive gifts. Eventually he will show up at your door naked “Is this a ‘Christmas’ enough present for you?”
He can’t stop laughing when you convince the rest of the camp to wear Christmas hats, “Clowns.” He calls them. You have to nudge him hard for him to stop ruining the festive spirit.
”Is this Santa of yours a vampire? I mean..if he only comes out at night and punishes the naughty ones,” he gives you a smirk
Withers
"Ah the annual rite of gift-giving on the solstice. I do not value such material possessions but the sentiment is not lost on me." He will accept your gift but you will never see him use it.
Will show up at camp wearing a small Santa hat on his bald head. Will not answer any questions about it.
Sometimes you think if you hear him humming jingle bells but you can never make out the words because it's in some archaic dead language.
Laezel
touched your present with a stick “What is that? Are you trying to kill me?” She has a disgusted expression. Why would you spend your time getting her a gift instead of finding a solution for the parasite?
After a while of convincing, she’s ready to open it. She has a soft smile and doesn’t let it show that it actually made her warm even for a second.
After you sit her down and tell her the Christmas lore she rolls her eyes “Your kind disappoints me.” You tell her about the magic of Christmas as she smirks condescendingly “Whatever go do your thing, I’ll watch.”
Once she learns the carols and traditions there is no stopping her. She’s a woman who believes in long-standing institutes and traditions and she will uphold yours with pride too when she gets used to it.
Halsin
the way this man would hug you after receiving a gift ugh. you cannot tell me gift giving isn't one of his love languages, so he'd really really appreciate it
he keeps a very open mind while listening to you talking about Christmas and the traditions you practice. Being a druid he has his own rituals and beliefs which others judge so he is open
whittles you a wooden figurine of your favorite animal or of your pet from your world if you can describe it in detail
he would love the gift exchanging part of the tradition. he’d get everyone a gift, not as intricate as the one for you though. Maybe more so around herbs, flowers and potions
Shadowheart
"oh my, a present.. for me?" she'd be surprised that you even thought of getting her a gift
when she unwraps the gift she'd have a small smile on her face, "thank you y/n. this is very thoughtful of you. i'll remember this."
she’d be tad jealous that your beliefs are so fun. she’d lowkey wish Shar/Selune had celebrations that got people together
Gale
"A present? for me?", being locked up in his tower for so long he is quite taken aback.
"Why, where are my manners, thank you y/n. I do wish you told me about this tradition of yours. I'd have gotten you something. No matter, once we get the guests in our brains out, I'll make sure to get you something."
he'd use his magic to try and conjure up snow no matter where the party is camping
Minsc
Minsc gets very excited by whatever you get him since it's the thought that counts. "Look at what y/n got us Boo"
he sees how your eyes light up as you talk about Christmas so he gets equally excited for you
Minsc would dress up Boo in a red hat and green jacket (don’t ask how he got them)
nooooooot the best gift giver. he isn’t crafty, so he may end up making you arrows and a bow. but his smile is so big and bright that you’ll have to pretend to really like it
Wyll
He surprises you with a thoughtful gift before you can even give him one. His noble upbringing covered the strange Christmas customs of your land.
"To have you in my life is gift enough, my love. You didn't have to get me anything, your smile alone would have sufficed." Nonetheless, he accepts your gift with an elegant bow.
You both do a slow waltz to every single Christmas song you hear, no matter what the tempo or the lyrics are. You are simply too lost in each others' eyes to care.
Karlach
"Presents! For me? You're kidding!" She would run around camp like an excited toddler with her gifts. You would have to remind her to calm down so she wouldn't burn down the place.
"Thank you, soldier. I love it so much," she would grin at you. She would ask a lot of questions about Christmas and fall in love with the holiday. Gifts, food and wine, all of it would sound amazing to her after spending so many years in Avernus.
She would get really into the celebrations and her joy would be infectious. Watching her bust out her hip-hop moves during Silent Night would be the highlight of your evening.
Jaheira
"Oh, you got me a gift? How nice. See you can be kind to your elders." She would make fun of you in the moment but appreciate the gift nonetheless.
"It's not a knitted blanket for grandma, is it? I'm not ready to retire just yet."
Being a druid, she's not interested in the religious elements or traditions but joins in heartily for the eggnog and anything else booze-related.
your gifts,
admins sar, san & sav
#bg3#baldur's gate#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x reader#astarion#baldurs gate#shadowheart#lae'zel#karlach#wyll#jaheira#minsc#halsin#withers#gale#gale x reader#halsin x reader#karlach x reader#laezel x reader#wyll x reader#shadowheart x reader#minsc x reader#bg3 withers
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The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader
Part Two - Low Tolerance For Dehydration
Chapter Summary - We begin to learn the truth about why these kids are the way they are. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)
Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Illusions to Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Dysfunctional Families / Kleptomania / References to Religious Beliefs / Sexual References / Drug References / Stereotyping / Angst
Word Count - 7.2k
(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)
(Part One)
-----
Saturday.
October 25th, 1984.
Hawkins High Library.
10:30am.
~~~~~
After that rather thrilling event courtesy of Eddie Munson and Principal Higgins, the next two hours went on forever.
The grinding of gears, the hum of the electric motor, and the movement of the clock's hands invaded the silence. The second hand made a rapid clicking sound. You counted each one. At twenty-second intervals, the minute hand squeaked. The clock sounds became the percussion for a lullaby that almost lulled you to sleep.
Eddie remained seated next to you, spending the better part of an hour sulking that he had just wrecked the rest of his winter. The rest of the time, he spent scratching markings into the table with his car keys (which you immediately told him to stop out of annoyance. He ignored you, of course) and counting all the pictures he can see in the medullary rays of the wood. In his mind, he connected the lines and dots. Before his eyes, they formed the crude outline of a shapely woman with her legs rudely spread apart. He used the notebook paper to cover it up. He did not want to spend the next five and a half hours with a boner he couldn't get rid of. Especially one given to him by something as ridiculous as an imaginary table lady.
Steve was lazily picking off the fuzz of a tennis ball that he found in the lost and found box behind the front desk, piling it up in a small illuminous heap. The bald patches reminded him of principal Higgin's round, balding head. He picked at it harder, really digging his fingernails into the stringy felt like it had personally offended him.
Nancy was trying to write her paper. Normally, the undisturbed silence would be prime time to work on an essay, but she began staring off into space, her mind wondering. All she had managed to write was a title 'Who Am I?', her name, the date, and the time. Each time she would bring herself back to reality, she would check her watch, then erase the time and write the new one.
Robin was hunched over, hidden in her hair as she scribbled over her cherry red converse. She wrote whatever came to mind; her name, milk duds, a drawing of the top half of a naked woman, a copy of her fingerprint. She kept going until the red had almost disappeared.
You rested your head in your palms, eyes looking up as you counted the tiles on the ceiling. You got to thirty eight when Eddie nudged you. You opened your mouth to scold him for making you lose count, when he slid a sheet of paper over to you. He'd drawn a tic-tac-toe grid and placed an X in the centre square. You grabbed a pencil and drew a circle in the top right corner, deciding to keep him entertained before he starts causing more trouble. He smiled cutely when you slid the paper back to him.
The two of you played until both sides looked like a gingham tea towel. Much to your distaste, you lost 38 - 43. Eddie pulled tongues as the victor and you decided then to never play tic-tac-toe with Eddie again; you didn't want his head getting bigger than it already was.
The library door swung open and Principal Higgins stood with a scowling face.
"All right. Who has to go to the rest room?"
All hands shot up.��
Higgins gave a single nod, signalling that everyone could get out of their seats. You groaned in relief when your spine cracked, though you still had pins and needles in your left foot and your butt was numb from sitting on it for too long. The Principal lead you all down the hall to the restrooms, where he unlocked them with a jingling of keys.
"Two minutes for the boys. Three minutes for the girls." He stared at his watch like he was already starting the count down.
"How come they get an extra minute?" Eddie complained, pointing at the group of girl who all had their arms crossed, looking at him like the answer was obvious.
"Try and remember your biology, Munson." Principal Higgins rolled his eyes, still staring at his watch.
"Oh, right. Does that mean Harrington gets another minute?"
Annoyed, Steve pushed through into the bathroom. Eddie followed behind, laughing manically.
The two of them rarely used the schools restroom, even for Eddie who was kind of a slob, they were too disgusting. Students only ever really used them to hide when skipping classes. The walls were covered in graffiti and a few of the tiles were cracked, and there was always something on the floor that made the bottom of their shoes sticky. They didn't even want to try to guess what it was. Steve stood in front of the urinal and unzipped his jeans. Eddie hopped onto the countertop and fished through his hair to retrieve the cigarette from behind his ear.
"You want one?"
Steve took a peek behind him. "Oh yeah, ten of 'em please. I need to prove I'm a man."
"Whatever man." That was the last time Eddie would offer Steve anything ever again.
He fumbled in his pocket, took out a lighter and lit his cigarette.
Meanwhile, the state of the girls bathroom wasn't much better. The floors were less sticky, but there was always tissue all over the place, and a funny smell in the air.
"Is this a drag, or what?" You looked at your tired eyes in the reflection and started complaining about them to the girls.
Nancy rummaged through her purse, pulling out perfume bottles, make-up, compacts, brushes; an incredible amount of things that she probably didn't need. Nancy very helpfully let you borrow the make-up out of her bag. You were looking as good as new in no time.
"You want one?" Robin pulled out a pack of spearmint gum and stuck one in her mouth.
You looked at her repulsed. "Robin, you can't eat in the bathroom. What if you get VD of the mouth or something!"
She paused like she hadn't thought about that. She quickly walked to the sink and washed her hands. She grabbed a paper towel to dry them and then used it to open the door. She held the door open with her foot, wadded up the paper towel and made a three pointer into the waste bin. A shot that even Steve would find impressive, even if she did surprise herself making it in the first place. She didn't show that though.
"You're into washing your hands, but you eat inches away from a live toilet?"
She gave you an offended glare her, and left the bathroom, letting the door close on you and Nancy. You turned to Nancy and gave her a look that said 'I'm not crazy for thinking that am I?'.
"I mean that was a little disgusting, but you could have worded it a bit nicer."
She walked out, leaving you wondering whose side she was on.
"I didn't mean to upset you." You called after Robin. "I was just reacting to something I thought was seriously weird. I mean, I'll listen if you needed some one to talk to about it."
Robin didn't give you the time of day, just rolled her eyes to herself. She didn't appreciate the way you worded your apology; like she was the one with the problem.
"Let's go. Shake it off!" Higgins called into the boys bathroom.
Even with the extra minute you were given, the girls still managed to be done before the boys. Eddie opened the door, smelling strongly of tobacco.
"Where's Harrington?"
"Drowned." Eddie said bluntly.
The Principal crossed to the door and peaked his head in. "Alright, Harrington, c'mon. Lets go!"
Steve made a few final adjustments to his hair, raking his fingers through it to position his chestnut curls perfectly on his head. Principal Higgins dragged him out before he could finish.
~~~~~
11:30am
~~~~~
You laid across three chairs as some sort of make shift bed and tucked your coat underneath your head for a pillow. You had planned to take a nap, but Nancy had decided to sharpen her pencil. The winding and grinding of the sharpener grated your ears. She knew she was making a lot of noise, but she couldn't seem to get a good point on her pencil. She took it out of the sharpener, blew the dust from the tip, and examined it before shoving it back in. She had three quarters left of her pencil.
Steve had a straight leg on the front table and reached over to touch his toes, stretching his hamstring. How he did it in those jeans was beyond you. His little grunts of effort and heavy breaths as he switched legs annoyed you almost as much as Nancy's sharpening. Robin was in her same seat, picking at her black, chipped nails in her lap and chewing her gum loudly out of spite. How you had gone from sitting in hours of silence, to a sudden ruckus when you wanted to sleep was just your luck.
Eddie had chosen to sit in front of you on the table, ripping out pages of textbooks from the history section.
Nancy winced at each tear. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing, Princess? I'm vandalising public property." He said it like it was obvious, loudly ripping another page to emphasise his point. "You get off on being stupid, or something?"
"You're such a waste."
Eddie placed the book gently on the table, giving it a few taps for good measure. He sat up straight, hands on his knees like a teachers pet. He nodded sarcastically in agreement. "You're absolutely right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun."
He jumped down off the desk, kicking up loose pages as he stalked over to his next victim: the card files. He pulls out the entire draw completely and lugged it back over to his spot on the desk. The unexpected slam of it on the table startled you, and you sat up with a huff. There was no way you were getting sleep any time soon.
Nancy scoffed as he began yanking the catalogue cards out and putting them back in a random order, creating a horrible mess for someone to sort out later. She continued to grind the sharpener.
"Big deal." You mocked her, she and the sharpener were really starting to get on your nerves. "It's not like there's anything better to do."
Eddie was impressed. He turned to you. "You grounded tonight?"
His question threw you off, but you knew there was definitely more to it. "No, why?"
He looked surprised that you weren't, but he didn't know that your parents weren't even aware you were here in the first place. "Reefer Rick is throwing a Halloween party down by Lover's Lake tonight. Wanna come?"
Apparently, all it took was a few games of tic-tac-toe to get into Eddie's good books. There was a part of you that wanted to go. It was another excuse to get away from your parents, but you didn't want to imagine the shit you would get from Carol if she found out you had gone to a party with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. Then Billy crept back into your mind. Your blood went cold at the thought. You knew he wasn't here, but you expected him to come charging through the doors any second now. You had to make sure he knew you weren't interested in Eddie. You didn't want another repeat of this morning.
"Why would I want to go to that crackhead's place? I'll probably catch a disease."
Eddie looked a little disappointed and a little offended that you had insulted his friend, but he hid it well. So why did you feel kind of bad?
You looked up at him with big eyes. "I mean, my mom doesn't like me going to parties anyway."
"What about your dad?"
"If I do what my mom doesn't want me to it's because my dad says it's okay. And if I do what my dad doesn't want me to it's because my mom says it's okay. It's like this whole big monster deal. It lasts forever and it's a total drag. It's like any minute: divorce." You hated talking about your parents, but I felt good to get off your chest. Carol and Tommy never cared to ask.
"Who do you like better?"
"Huh?"
"You like your old man better than your mom?"
"They're both screwed." You sighed. You didn't like where this conversation was headed anymore. Nancy had stopped sharpening her pencil and you could feel everyone listening in.
"If you had to pick?"
"I don't know. I mean, they must have loved each other at some point, but I guess I wasn't around for that part. So I don't think any of them really care about me either. They just use me as ammunition in their little wars."
"HA!" Your response had provoked a laugh from Robin. A laugh that let you know she thought you deserved it. She was more offended by that comment in the bathroom than you had thought.
"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Steve added, shaking out his legs.
You didn't find it very fair that they were ganging up on you all of a sudden. "If I didn't, nobody else would."
"Oh, you're breaking my heart." But Steve didn't sound sincere at all. You weren't enjoying this side of Steve one bit. And it was all because of Billy.
"Do you get along with your parents?" Eddie sided with you.
"If I say, yes, I'm a real idiot, right?"
"I think you're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, you'll be a liar, too."
"You know something, I've just about had it with you. If we weren't in school, man, I'd wail all over you. They'd have to pick you up with tweezers."
Eddie didn't seem fazed. Eddie got threats like this all the time, it wasn't anything he hadn't already heard before.
"I don't really get along with my parents." Nancy piped up, trying to get the boys attention away from each other so there wasn't a brawl in the middle of the library.
"Yeah right, you're every parent's wet dream."
"That's the problem." She paused, you saw her eyes glaze over then looked at you. "I don't think my parents ever loved each other either."
Everyone was silent, looking at her like they were waiting for her to burst into tears. She regretted bring it up.
"They must have married for some reason?" Steve asked. Whether it was because he was being nosey, or he was concerned for her, you couldn't tell.
"My mom was younger. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family."
"Screw that."
"Yeah, screw that."
"I could see you not liking them for making you wear those kind of clothes, but, shit, what else would you be doing if you weren't busy making yourself a better citizen?" Eddie clearly hadn't read the room.
"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Eddie was really pushing Steve's limits. You noticed it happened especially when it came to Nancy.
"I'm being honest, asshole. I'd expect you to know the difference." He said it like he had had a similar argument with Steve in the past.
Nancy raised her middle finger at him.
"Whoa, obscene gestures from such a pristine girl."
"I'm not that pristine." Nancy argued, though she regretted it almost immediately.
She cleared her throat and make her way back to her seat.
"Are you a virgin?" She caught Steve's eye, they shared a look, but Eddie missed it. "I'll bet you a million dollars that you are."
"Would you take that bet, Robin?"
"Not really."
"That's the last time I call you 'Robin', Buckley."
He continued. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?"
Nancy was getting upset. "Do you want me to puke?"
"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"
You squeezed your thighs together. His voice was deep and masculine, sending you off into an alluring day dream. You found yourself in the back seat of a car, a strong man towering over you, rough hands caressing your soft skin. He takes off your bra, exposing your breasts to the cold air of the night, nipples hardening. He's groping them, kissing them, loving on them. Your moaning and he's trailing his lips lower. Your hands thread themselves in his brown, wavy hair. He's pulling your panties down with his teeth, looking up at you with those big brown eyes of his. And suddenly you were in the back of his van, pulling off his patched, demin jacket until he's leaning over you completely naked. He put his lips to your ear, whispering --
"Hey, why don't you leave her alone!" Steve breaks you out of your imagination.
"You gonna make me?"
"Yeah."
"You and whose army?"
"Just me and five of my fingers. I hit you. You hitting floor. Anytime you're ready."
Eddie realised that Steve was being serious, but doesn't believe he is quite capable of making good on his threat.
"Yeah? You want a black eye to go with that split lip? You couldn't fight Billy Hargrove, what makes you think you can beat me?"
Your chest tightened at his name and your eyes darted to the door. They stayed shut. It calmed you a little, but your heart was still beating against your ribcage. You placed a hand there in case it burst out. You wondered how Eddie knew about the fight at the party, you hadn't seen him there. But then again, word travels fast around Hawkins High. Your breathing became heavy. All this arguing was making you dizzy. You could do without a repeat of last Thursday.
"Try me."
"Eddie." You pleaded him not to retaliate, swallowing down your pride for a second of peace.
He looked at you, and suddenly Eddie was not in the mood to fight Steve. The fear in your eyes scared him a little. You were serious about them not fighting. But luckily for you, Eddie knew when to stop. Besides, there were ladies present, and he was a gentleman.
To some extent.
"Whatever man, I'm not getting into this with you."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" He paused. He wasn't going to tell Steve he did it for you. "'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple, you'd die and your fucking parents would sue me and It'd be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother. So drop it."
"Chicken."
"You know, you should see a doctor. I think those steroids are frying your brain."
Steve just laughed him off, believing that he had scared Eddie into yielding and he was just giving one last dig to preserve his pride. Eddie looked a Nancy, but she was already staring at him.
"What is it that makes you act like such a fool?"
"I'm not getting enough vitamin B."
Steve fumed. He wanted his fist to connect with that smartass mouth of his. "Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"
"I'm trying to help her." He said it like it was as plain as a pikestaff.
"Help me?" Nancy was insulted. "Why don't you work on yourself?"
"I did. I finished last Tuesday. Now I'm working on the rest of the world." He pointed at Steve, who looked about ready to swing. "I could help you, big boy."
"Spare me."
"I can help a lot of people, all they have to do is ask nicely."
"I'll kill you." Steve threatened with a clenched fist.
Eddie looked unmoved. He heard threats like that at least five times a day. "Well, I should just let you and everyone else who wants to kill me fight for the privilege."
There was a rumbling from beyond the library door. In a flurry of panic, everyone got themselves into position, acting like they hadn't moved an inch away from their seats. Eddie sat next to you again, accidently kicking your foot under the table. You kicked it back in annoyance. He did it again, only on purpose this time. 'What a child' you thought. You put your coat on the back of your chair and sat up straight, expecting Principal Higgins to come storming in.
Everybody visibly relaxed when Carl, the janitor, came rumbling in with his music playing quietly from his radio, dragging his cart behind him. He had a face you didn't quite know how to take; he looked friendly enough, but could turn at the snap of your fingers. He was skinny and stood at a height of 5"8, with a limp of a man who worked hard for his living. He smiled everyone, but the only one who seems the acknowledge him was Robin. She returned the smile and gave him a small wave, in hopes of being nice but not letting the others see. He went into the librarians office and grabbed the waste basket.
"Hey Sweetheart, your dad's here."
You gave him an unamused smile and kicked his shin under the desk once more.
Carl came out of the office and dumped the basket on his cart. He left his cart in the main library and walked down the pathway to grab another trash bin at the back of the room.
"Hey, Carl?"
Carl paused in surprise that any student here, with the exception of Robin, would talk to him. He turned around, but Eddie still remained facing the front, putting his back to him.
"How does one become a janitor."
Everyone supressed a giggle, even Steve despite his dislike for Eddie. Only Robin remained silent. She didn't find it very funny.
"You want to become a janitor?" Carl raised an eyebrow.
"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Steve here, is very interested in perusing a career in the custodial arts."
Steve stopped laughing at that. Carl scratched his head. He knew that they were making fun of him. But Carl wasn't one someone should mess with. He turned off his radio, pulled off his rubber gloves and shoved them in his back pocket.
"You guys think I'm just a lowly janitor. Some fucking untouchable peasant. Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for five years, I've learned a few things. I read your notes, I go through your letters. I listen to your conversations. I am the eyes and ears of this institution. I know where you are now and I know where you'll be in the future."
Everyone exchanged worried looks as Carl moved to tower in front of Eddie. "You got ten years, max. Drugs. Rundown trailer in West Texas. Whore wife takes the baby, you shoot a fatal dose. Probable? Maybe not. Possible? Think so."
He turned to you. "You get married to a guy with lots of material success. Corporate position. Big bucks. Black Jag. You have three kids, nobody gives a shit. You get divorced and have a big fuckin' heart attack at thirty-eight, thirty-nine."
Steve was next. "District sales manager for a golf club manufacturer. Shitty little compact company car, twenty-two five a year and a wife as big as a boxcar."
Finally, Nancy. "Six face-lifts and two boob jobs by forty and a husband with more girlfriends than anniversaries."
He stepped back and put on his gloves. The stunned reaction on everybody's faces made him smile. "But I'm just a janitor." He shrugged.
And with that, he grabbed his cart, wheeled it around and headed out. He paused at the door and looked at the clock.
"By the way, that thing's twenty minutes slow." He winked as he left and everybody groaned.
~~~~~
12:30pm
~~~~~
Everybody was bored out of their skulls after the shock of Carl's speech had worn off. You took the time to think about what he had said. He had tried to put a downer on you, but the life he had predicted for you sounded like paradise, compared to now. Even if you did only have twenty years left to live. As crazy as it sounded, it gave you a bit of hope. There was a chance that you could work up the courage to leave Billy and meet someone nice, or at least wealthy. You had never given any thought about having kids, especially not with Billy, but now, maybe you could see yourself with a kid. You'd want a boy, and he'd look just like his father; Curly brown hair, big russet eyes, and a toothy smile. What would you name him? Would you name him after his father? Maybe Michael, or Christopher, James. Edward? You liked that name.
Your eyes flashed to the door as it opened. Principal Higgins strolled in with a frown of his face, even though no one had done anything to upset him yet.
Yet.
"Thirty minutes for lunch." He declared.
"Excuse me Sir, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place to eat lunch."
"I don't care what you think, Harrington."
Steve sunk back into his seat.
"Uh, Dick?" Eddie cleared his throat. "Sorry, Richard. Will milk be made available to us? Someone like Steve could choke to death on a dry sandwich."
"I have a low tolerance for dehydration, Sir." Robin added.
"I've seen her dehydrated, Sir." Steve sat up again. "It's pretty gross."
You wondered if that was true, or if he was just playing along. The things he said about her, you wondered if they knew each other. Probably not, you brushed off the thought. They were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, there was no way they knew each other.
Principal Higgins scowled.
Eddie stood and raised his hands like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "Relax, I'll get it."
"Ah,ah,ah. Grab some wood there, Munson. You think I was born yesterday? You don't fool me for one minute. I'm not having you roaming these halls."
Eddie plopped back into his seat with a defeated sigh. It was worth a shot.
"You." He pointed at Steve.
He eyed up the other students, skipping over Eddie as he decided who else was most suitable to leave. You sank into your seat. You did not fancy having some alone time with Steve. Steve stared directly at the Principal before darting his eyes to the right where Nancy was sat, signalling for him to pick her. She sat up to make herself more evident.
Higgins ignored them and pointed a finger at you. "And you. There's a soft drinks machine in the faculty lunch room."
You broke into a cold sweat. This was going to be the most awkward ten minutes of your life. Either Steve was just going to pretend you didn't exist, or he was going to absolutely grill you. You hoped for the former.
As you reluctantly got out of your seat, Steve held out a hand to the others for money. Nancy took out a change purse from her bag and handed him fifty cents. Robin does the same with the loose change in her jeans pocket. Eddie fished through his coat pockets. He found some assorted change, crumpled gum wrappers, some loose tobacco and a screw. He handed it all to Steve.
Steve made his way out, not even looking to see if you're following him. You do, of course, but you lagged behind him, not feeling particularly comfortable being alone with him. You counted your steps as you walked, fiddling with the delicate chain around your neck. It was a simple design: just your name written with gold, cursive lettering. But it was the only jewellery you never took off. Your parents had bought it for you when you had started cheerleading at eight years old. It was a reminder of when life was much more simple, when you believed that your parents actually loved each other, that they loved you.
A minute passed and you already couldn't stand the silence. You dreaded it, but you knew this would probably be the only opportunity you would get to hash out your grievances.
"Why do you hate me?" A forward start, but at least it's a start.
"You know why."
"Look, what Billy did wasn't my fault --"
"Of course it is. If you hadn't been there in the first place he wouldn't've showed up."
"Hey, I didn't even tell him I was going to that stupid party. He was there anyway. If you hadn't come over and butted into our argument, maybe you wouldn't have that split lip."
"My parties aren't stupid."
"Is that seriously all you took from that?"
"No..." He paused. After hearing your side of the story, he was beginning to feel like a fool. "What were you guys even arguing about?"
You sighed. "Billy and I had plans to go to this drive in movie theatre. I don't think he wanted to watch a movie though, I think he was just hoping to get lucky." The two of you had stopped walking. Steve looked at you intently, encouraging you to carry on. You shifted on your feet. "If I'm being completely honest I didn't really want to go, but then Carol asked me to go to your party and I took it as an excuse not to go with Billy. I knew he would be angry if I cancelled our plans last minute, so I told him I was sick. Biggest fucking mistake of my life."
"So you went to the party and Billy caught you out in your lie."
"Yeah. Turns out one of his friends had asked him to go but he'd declined 'cause we were going on a date. He accepted the offer once I'd cancelled our plans."
Steve started walking again. You followed next to him this time. "I know Billy is a bit of a shitbag, but why didn't you want to go on your date? I mean, it seemed like a good time."
There was no such thing as a 'good time' with Billy. He had his moments, sure, but he was as cranky as a wet hen. Time with him was like trying to swim with rocks on your back. He sucked all the fun out of everything until you started drowning. You didn't tell Steve that though.
"I just wasn't in the mood to be around him, is all." You brushed him off. "But he's bringing it up all the time, and were arguing all of the time. Even in school."
"Is that why you're here today?"
His question made you pause. He stopped a couple of steps ahead of you and turned around when he saw you weren't next to him anymore. You played it off like you were itching your leg and jogged up to him. The two of you made it to the teacher's lounge.
The first thing you noticed was that it was very brown. The floor and ceiling had the same white speckled tile that ran throughout the entire school, but everything else was just ... brown. Brown wallpaper, brown leather sofas, brown table, brown countertop. Even the fridge was brown. The vending machine was in the far corner.
"Why are you here?" You asked Steve, hoping he hadn't realised that you hadn't answered his question.
"Me? I'm here because my father and my coach don't want me to blow my ride." He started feeding the change into the machine. "They think my intensity's for shit. You see, I have a different set of standards. I get treated different because Coach thinks I'm a star. So does my old man. But you know what? I don't care. I'm not a star because I want to be a star, I'm a star because I got good legs and reflexes. I'm like a racehorse. That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me."
You nodded, but you had a suspicion that that wasn't the whole truth. "Yeah, so why are you really here?"
Steve was annoyed that he hadn't managed to persuade you. "Forget it."
You studied the set of lockers on the other side of the room. You walked over to them out of curiosity, trying your luck with one of the doors. To your surprise it opened.
Steve caught you out of the corner of his eye. "You really shouldn't be doing that."
Inside lay a set of keys attached to a green Hawkins High lanyard, a pack of cigarettes, a 'thank you teacher' mug, and a Prince's Purple Rain album on vinyl. Steve came up behind you, looking inside and letting the soda cans thunk loudly at the bottom of the vending machine.
"This is a teacher's stuff?" He asked surprised.
"Yeah. Does this mean that they're actually human?" You laughed together for the first time.
Daringly, you pocketed the pack of cigarettes in your cardigan pocket and took the record.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, put them back."
"C'mon Steve, when are you ever going into the teacher's lounge again? Besides, it'll give us something to do while were stuck in that god damned library."
You shut the locker door and brushed past him. You gathered up the soda cans, giving Steve his share to carry and made your way back to the library.
"It was pretty strange looking at teacher's personal shit, huh?" You said, examining the purple record sleeve.
Steve shrugged, he'd seen stranger things. "I went over to Coach's house for dinner once during the summer. It was really weird to see how he lives."
He paused, anticipating a question, but you just looked at him to carry on.
"His wife was fat. And one of his kids was in a wheelchair. It was kinda sad. He was a nice kid."
"If he invites you over to his house, why does he shit on you?"
"He and my old man are working to get me a scholarship. It's not an economic issue. Scholarships make the newspaper. They think I have a shot at a full ride. They think I deserve a Big Ten school."
You simply nodded and walked through the library doors. The others were gathered in the corner by the comfy chairs. Eddie was holding a book opened to a page displaying a man with elephantitus to the nuts like he was reading children a bedtime story.
"How do you suppose he rides a bike?"
The clattering of soda cans on the table drew their attention away. They all walked over to grab a can. Before the others could take one, Eddie reached out and shook one furiously.
You look at him like he was crazy. Perhaps he was. "That's going to spray all over you."
"Not necessarily."
He put the drink back with the others and moved the cans around so than no one would know which was was shook up.
"You're such a dingus." Robin bravely took a can first.
Everyone else followed before taking their seats and pulling out their lunches. You simply took out an apple, loosing your appetite after seeing a man with elephantitus to the nuts. You noticed Eddie didn't have any lunch as he surveyed everyone else's.
"Where's your lunch?"
"You're wearing it." He winked.
You curled your lip in disgust, but felt about as red as your apple.
"You're nauseating." Nancy complained, opening her lunch.
"Look who's talking. You don't care what you put in your mouth." He eyed Nancy's lunch like she had just shown him a plate full of snails. "What is that?"
"Sushi."
"Sushi?"
"Rice, raw fish, and seaweed."
"You wont accept a guys tongue in your mouth, but you'll eat that?"
She scoffed impatiently. "Can I eat?"
"I don't know, give it a try."
The room went silent as everybody watched Steve pull out his lunch from a large brown grocery bag; three sandwiches, a family-sized bag of chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.
"Are you really going to eat all that?" Robin asked in shock.
"No, I'm only going to eat half."
"What are you going to do with the other half?"
"Shoving it up Eddie's ass."
How charming. He reached for his can and everybody shrunk away, thinking it might explode. He cracked the tab.
Nothing happened.
Robin took out a sandwich covered in saran wrap. She unwrapped it and pulled the bread apart, starting to work on it like a mad scientist. She tossed the meat away, blindly whipping it to the side. It slapped on the wall and stuck there. She reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a bag of chocolate M&M's. She tore the bag open and dumped all of it on the buttered bread. Out of her coat pocket she pulled out a little baggie filled with Captain crunch cereal and sprinkled it over the M&M's. She closed the mess of a sandwich and took a huge bite. She noticed that everyone was watching her.
"You are bizarre." Eddie thought Steve's lunch was bad.
She reached for her Pepsi to wash it all down. She put it to her mouth and popped it. The soda sprayed cleanly into her mouth.
After the fizz was gone, she smirked at Eddie. "Nice try, dingus."
"What do you have?" He turned to you, watching take a bite into your apple.
You handed your bag over to him, rather than speaking with a full mouth. He started pulling things out. He pulled out a sandwich, a thermos of soup, which he opened and give a big whiff, and a bottle of water.
"Well Sweetheart, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rodgers?"
Eddie stood so he was front and centre of the room, all eyes on him.
"This is my impression of life at our darling Sweetheart's house." He gestured to you and your face flushed.
"Hello, dear. I'm home from the coalmine." Eddie impersonated your father.
Eddie quickly played your mother. "Oh, hello, sweetie pie. Dinner's almost ready. I'm serving stuffing instead of potatoes."
"My favourite!"
His voice turned high and shrill, playing you. "Hi, Dad! Yippee, you're home! I danced in a skimpy skirt in front of hundreds of people today. I went to church and I wrote Grandma a letter. Now can I have a pen pal?"
"Dear, isn't our daughter swell?"
Quiet and motherly. "Yes Dear, isn't life swell?"
Eddie mimed your mother kissing your father, then father kissing mother, and then your father punching your mother in the face. Suddenly it was not so funny anymore.
Your eyes were wet. You hated how much that hurt. It wasn't his words that hurt you, it was how much you wished it were true.
You bravely stood up. "No, it's more like --"
"Dad? Is it okay if I shoot heroin?"
You lowered your voice, playing your father. You held an imaginary newspaper in your hands, not taking your eyes off it and pretending that you weren't paying attention. "If it'll make you happy, pumpkin."
You extended your fingers and blew on them, doing your mother and her fresh nail polish. "What are you talking about, Frank?! How's she going to wear her Sunday dress with holes in her arms? We are going to church aren't we?
"It's okay. Never mind. I won't be a junkie." You said sadly.
"Now, just wait a minute. If you want to be a junkie--"
"I'm not going to be the only woman at the congregation with a junkie daughter. Now what about church?" Your mother said.
"Go by yourself!" Said your father.
"With pleasure! I'm taking Y/N."
"Over my dead body!"
"I love her more than you do!"
"Go to hell!"
Everyone looks at you with a hint of sympathy. Even Eddie.
"Do you wish they'd get a divorce?" He asked.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'd have to live with one or the other. And I don't know which one is worse." You laughed, but there was no humour behind it.
"Whose next?" Eddie ask, like he didn't already know he was going to single out Steve. Eddie pointed at him. "You're next."
"Yeah, no thanks."
"You an orphan?"
"I don't need to dump on my parents. Especially when they're not here to defend themselves." Eddie gave him a look like he was being chicken.
"What about your family?" Steve asked Eddie. He wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine.
"Mine? Real simple, pal."
He climbed onto the table, really setting the stage and getting himself into character. His eyelids lowered and his body moved clumsily, like he was drunk. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn freeloading, son of a bitch, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk!"
He stands up straight, crossing his arms and raising the pitch of his voice. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." His mother said.
"Shut up bitch!" He smacked the air, hitting his invisible mother. He yelled it so loud you were worried Higgins was about to storm through the door.
As his father, he threw a punch. Eddie dramatically dropped from the table and fell to the ground. He stood up, brushed himself off and took a bow. The show was over.
"Then they make me work to pay off the dentist for the teeth he busts."
"Is that for real?" Nancy looks like she's going to start crying for him.
"You wanna come over some time?"
She didn't want to believe that something like that could happen to anyone. Even someone as vexing as Eddie. Nancy decided then to never complain about her parents again.
"That's part of your image. I don't believe a word." Steve brushed him off. His re-enactment hadn't moved him at all.
You wondered if he was right. You had been so truthful about yours, you would feel ashamed if he had lied about his.
Eddie actually looked hurt. "You don't believe it, huh?"
He whipped off his red shirt and pulled up the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He shoved his arm in Steve's face, displaying a grotesque purple scar. Steve recoiled away from it, but Eddie forced him to look at it. You subtly tugged at the sleeve of your cardigan. You could feel the bruises of Billy's fingers purpling on your wrist.
"You believe that? It's about the size of a cigar." Eddie spoke through gritted teeth. "That's what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage."
Eddie was breathless with anger. His muscles were tensed up so tightly he thought he was going to give himself a full-body cramp. He needed something to calm himself down. Luckily, he knew just the thing.
~~~~~
<<<Previous // Next>>>
~~~~~
Taglist: @cruwushes @the-ch0sen-on3 @namelesshumanperson @ali-r3n @cadence73 @munsonssweets @ahoyyharrington @mewchiili @yourdailymemedelivery @httpsunflowers @b-irock @coolglittercornbae @sav12321 @cumslutforaemond @siriuslysmoking @learninglinesintherainn @peaches-roses-sins @lodeddiperrodrick @catherinnn @lilocapoca @minniedreamers @melaninjhs
#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson smut#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson series#mini series#cheerleader!reader#eddie munson x cheerleader!reader#stranger things#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#the breakfast club#the breakfast club mini series#the breakfast club fanfic#stranger things x the breakfast club#enemies to lovers
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✧.* THE STATUE OR ME ?
— summary : natasha gets jealous over a statue.
— word count : 0,3k
— warnings : fluff, fem!reader, established relationship, a kiss on the cheek, reader being a tease, not proofread.
a/n : inspired by this one prompt i found somewhere with my own spin on it. my requests for natasha are open so please request some prompts !! sorry this ones short lolz
the museum was cold as you dig your hands deeper into your pockets. natasha was standing beside you, her hands wrapped around your waist.
the museum room was filled with all kinds of art. realism, surrealism, sculptures, pottery, expressionism. everything was so beautiful and eye-catching for you. you love art, you love learning about it, seeing it, and even doing it.
though, natasha didn't think the same as you. she went there to make you happy and to keep you company. she didn't know much about art, but she does know that you in fact, absolutely love it. but that doesn't change the fact that she's cold, and that she feels out of place.
inching closer to you, natasha looks up to see the statue you have been admiring. "wow. inspiring, captivating even." you say in a flat tone.
natasha groans, "can we go to another part of the museum? i rather not look at naked statues from 1,000 years ago." she turns to you.
"you just don't appreciate it the way i do." you shrug. "there is no statue in this world that deserves this much attention from you." she states.
"just look at the way his hands are wrapped around his neck. i bet his name is lucas, or maybe gary. he looks like a gary." you joked, natasha was not amused.
"it sounds like you're in love with gary."
"eh, a little bit."
"why don't you just date gary then?" she suggests. "are you getting jealous over a statue, nat?" you let out a chuckle.
"no." she shook her head. "you're pouting." you point out. "no, i'm not." she quickly answers.
"for what it's worth, my type is human, alive. not stone, dead." you explain. "you've given gary more compliments than me." she pouts.
"fine, i like your hair and smile. where as gary does not have hair, and he does not have a smile." you cross your arms, "and if he did have a smile, i bet it won't be as lovely and bright as yours." you added.
natasha smiles. "see, there it is!" you kiss her on the cheek. "i'm glad you think this highly of me." natasha's mood seemed to become better. "and the implication that bald people are statues." she added.
"if you were a statue though..."
"i'm never taking you to a museum ever again." she sighed.
#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanoff blurbs#natasha romanoff blurb#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff imagines#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x y/n#natasha x you#natasha x reader#natasha romanov#natasha romanova#black widow x you#black widow imagine#black widow fluff#black widow x reader#black widow#marvel#marvel imagines#marvel imagine#avengers
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BakuSquad Boys: Showering with Them (Pt. 2)
BakuSquad x (Gender-neutral) reader
Characters: Bakugo & Kirishima
Warnings: None really; mentions of nudity and hints at spicier things.
Description: What I imagine showering with these two would be like, from how often they shower to skincare routines and fun little quirks they have :)
—————
Katsuki’s a neat freak, you’d known that since you’d first met the man. So his personal grooming routine shouldn’t have been any surprise to you. What you weren’t expecting was for him to be quite possibly the most hygienic person you’d ever met in your entire life.
As a general rule, Katsuki preferred showers to baths. He had never been a fan of the idea of just sitting there, floating in dirty water. He feels like he’s never really getting clean.
He’s not opposed to them entirely though. If it’s been a particularly long or arduous day, he’ll drag you into the tub with him, holding you tightly to his chest as you soak silently for a while.
Of course, he then needs a shower afterwards to get rid of those “damn germs.”
Besides his wavering affections with baths, Katsuki showers almost as soon as he feel dirty, but his bare minimum is twice a day. Damn the water bill, in his eyes it’s a necessity.
This is partly due to his quirk relying on the use of his sweat. By the end of his shift, he’s often soaking.
If he can, he’ll shower at the agency, but it feels weird not being in his own environment, with you, ready and waiting to comb his hair.
While he does have his undercut, his dad started balding at quite a young age, and the blond still wants to lose his hair by choice.
He would never admit this to anyone, and he may actually kill them if they found out, but he was incredibly grateful when you introduced the idea of rosemary oil into his routine. He then practically melted when you decided to take over combing through and massaging the oil into his scalp each night, deeming your boyfriend’s yanking of his roots too rough.
While Bakugo has a much more extensive haircare routine then he does skincare routine, that’s not to say that he doesn’t have one at all.
The nature of his quirk often means Katsuki returns home to you with scarred palms and dry skin.
Washing the soot and ash from his face usually happens in his nightly shower, something you have been known to assist with if his hands are blistering or he’s badly hurt that day- this is normally something you have to ascertain for yourself, your boyfriend’s stubbornness often defending his pride a little too well.
But even the explosive blond couldn’t deny that the known universe itself seemed to stand still as your hands ever so softly rubbed at his skin, afraid to hurt him anymore than the world already had.
A hydrating moisturiser is then applied to his face, and burn ointment and vasoline to his hands, as he grumbles about needing yet another pair of gloves.
A small price to pay for being the number two hero.
Katsuki can’t go through a day feeling dirty. He refuses to sit down or touch anything if he has just come back from patrol, and he’d sooner be caught dead then having left the house without showering. He knows from an outside perspective, his habits seem insane and his self-maintenance rigorous. But he can’t help but to let out a chuckle at those thoughts as he’s applying his chapstick for the night, catching a glimpse of your puckered lips in his periphery, demanding your ritualised kiss.
Ever the gentleman, Kirishima believes it is a man’s duty to stare lovingly (or otherwise if you permit it) at your partner as they’re in your presence, especially if you’re naked.
There is not a single part of your body that this man deems unworthy of being drooled over, kissed over, and otherwise admired until you smack him up the side of the head and call him a perv.
He’s honestly just honoured to even be allowed in the same room as you while you go through your own routine. Genuinely, he’s just in awe of you every moment of every day, and to tell you the truth, he’s not entirely convinced he’s not dating some sort of ancient beauty, the likes of which he could never know or hope to achieve.
Once the red head picks his jaw up from off the floor, having gawked at you a little too long, he’s all about setting the mood.
It doesn’t have to be a special occasion for him to woo you, it just comes naturally to him.
Roughly once a fortnight, sometimes more, you’ll come home from a long day to find the bathtub filled with bubbles, a pair of glasses waiting closely nearby, and an array of scented candles surrounding the already romantic scene.
The first time Eijiro surprised you with it, you begun to cry tears of happiness. The big lug practically had a heart attack right there, thinking he had offended you in some way.
Later, he presented you with a trio of both of your favourite smelling candles- sandalwood and vanilla.
You loved the sandalwood because it smelt like Eijiro, something you missed deeply on his long missions away. And he fell in love with vanilla when he realised how much the calming scent was intertwined in your lives.
To keep the house smelling nice, you’d often boil vanilla among other spices on the stove. To him, vanilla was home, it meant you and him in the place you built together.
So, he had the two scents mixed and made into a set of three custom pillar candles.
You would often look back and smile as you remembered him promising to “always keep them lit for you, and to use them specifically when pampering you and massaging your feet.”
So far Kirishima was yet to break that promise.
The red head didn’t have much of a preference between baths or showers, but being the sturdy hero, he often found he couldn’t fit comfortably in the confined space of a bathtub.
Ultimately, it made no difference as he just viewed the time as an opportunity to hold you close, planting occasional kisses to your forehead before he volunteered to take you through your usual shower routine.
It was through these experiences that your boyfriend learnt your biggest tell- if you ever elected to wash your hair yourself, something was wrong. But no matter, by the end of the night, you were always balled up in his arms, safe and sound.
It took a lot of convincing to get your brick wall of a boyfriend to try using a moisturiser, on both his face and body.
He had some delusion that the hydration would somehow make his quirk less effective, but you insisted his skin was begging for it.
To compromise, you tested his theory on Tetsutetsu, essentially his twin. To Eijiro’s shock, the improved health of his skin actually made his sharp edges even sharper.
You cherished your victory in silence, just happy to have roped him into step one of your planned five-part skincare routine for him.
He was sooo in for it.
—————
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Moving into the haunted House
The ghost was idly floating in the dusty air of the attic. Well, that was not technically correct. He had fashioned himself a hammock out of his own ghostly glowing ectoplasm in which he was swinging slowly from left to right. The ghost, whose real name had been forgotten by even himself, was reading the latest edition of "Ghost Magazine", the leading periodical of the spirit world.
"Another successful year for our dear readers." the cover read. The ghost flipped through the pages, past the many ads for various ghost products, such as "Ghost Toasters" and "Ghost Bars" (whatever they might be) and went straight to the centerfold. Here was his favorite part: the annual "Ghostly Studs" page. He whistled as he looked at the various ghosts pictured. All were naked, and all were flexing their muscles in various poses, showing off their ectoplasm. Some were glowing with a green light, others blue or orange.
The ghost in the hammock could hardly be called a "ghostly stud". To be quite honest, he was pretty much the opposite. He wasn't very tall but broad in the worst sense of the word: His body was formed like a sack and ended in a comical tip not much below his hefty belly. On top of the blubber sat a fat, bald head, which was sporting an ever present smile, and on the neck, a round, pudgy face, with a button nose. This appearance was what earned him his nickname, Chunker, which was pretty much how the rest of the ghost world called him.
Chunker was a good-natured ghost, who liked to be lazy, eat, read and do not too much else. Of course, that was when he was alone or in the ghostly company of his housemates. In the rare occasions that he was confronted with mortals...
Chunker couldn't finish the thought because a noise from downstairs disrupted the silence: The door of the old house opened with a creaking sound and the muffled voices of some people entering could be heard. What was that? No living soul had entered the haunted house for at least 3 years now!
Chunker got up with some effort and reintegrated the hammock and the magazine into his body. He had to check that out at once! He floated downstairs, following the sound of the voices, and found himself in a dark and dusty hallway. At the end of it, the door to the dining room was ajar and Chunker could see two young adult men entering. Both were dressed in work clothes and were carrying various tools. One of them, a slightly taller brown haired individual, was carrying a ladder, while the other one, who had blonde hair, had a bucket of paint in his hand.
"Are you serious, Finn?", the blonde one asked. "You said your new house needs a bit of tidying up and some paint. This place is a dump!"
"Oh, come on, Brody. It's not that bad." Finn answered.
"I just hope you didn't pay too much for... this." Brody gestured around to the dusty interior.
"No, in fact the previous owner was really glad to be rid of it. Said it was haunted or something like that. So, yes, I got it really cheap!"
"That's something at least. And you said there'll be pizza and beer?"
"Absolutely. Now, let's get to work!"
The two young men began to look around the house. Chunker, meanwhile, had listened with interest. It wasn't the first time a fleshy had bought the house. Usually, Chunker and his housemates got rid of them pretty quickly. What was different this time, however, was, that the other two ghosts were currently on holiday on a Caribbean Island, leaving Chunker to take care of everything. The smile on his face broadened considerably. That meant he got to play with those two meat bags all by himself!
Chunker didn't have to wait too long. It was obvious that the two young men were planning to renovate the whole house and were now beginning with the living room.
"Hey, Finn?" Brody asked. "Could you pass me the paint roller?"
"Sure."
Finn was rummaging in the box they had carried into the room, and pulled out a roller, a tray and a brush.
As they started painting the room, Chunker, who was hiding in the ceiling, was able to get a better look at the two men. They were both in their early twenties and lean, though clearly not working out much. Finn was slightly taller and had an ever so slightly more muscular build, but the difference was not that big. Chunker's gaze lingered a bit on their firm asses. Both had a nice bubble butt. Chunker could tell from the bantering that the two were probably friends, straight friends from what he could tell. Even when Brody climbed up the ladder to paint the wall, Finn didn't seem to be ogling his friend. Chunker grinned and started to think about what to do with the two of them.
About an hour later, he had the perfect idea. He watched as the two men continued their work, occasionally drinking water and chatting. Just when Brody was taking a sip out of the water bottle while still on the ladder, with Finn underneath it, Chunker made his move. There was a tray of paint on the ladder with Brody, near to the edge. All it needed was a bit of a ghostly push to send it down, right on top of Finn, covering the surprised man in a thick layer of white paint.
"Aaaaaahhhh! Fuck! Brody!"
Finn stumbled back in surprise and tripped over the bucket of white paint that had been standing there. He didn't topple it over completely, but another part of his clothing got a new layer of paint, namely his ass.
Chunker, who was floating above the mess, chuckled. The two men were flustered, and Finn was trying to clean the paint off of his face, while Brody was looking on from his vantage point.
"Can't you watch what you're doing?", Finn asked.
"It's not my fault! I didn't even touch the tray."
"Oh, shut up, will you. Of course, you knocked it over with your fat ass."
Brody couldn't come up with another explanation and shrugged. "Well, sorry man."
He climbed down the ladder and watched Finn try to clean himself up with a rag. It didn't really work, and, when he turned around, Brody was unable to hold back a snort of laughter.
"What is it?", Finn asked.
"Nothing. I mean, you are really white now."
"Ha. Ha."
"Seriously, man. It's everywhere."
"Yeah, yeah." Finn said and pulled the wet cloth over his face.
"But seriously, there's no way you're going to get that out when it's dry. Does this house have a shower?"
"There should be. Let's try it."
Brody nodded. "Alright. You take a shower and I try to clean up the mess here."
"Thanks, man."
"Don't worry. But, hey. Try to be quick. I want my pizza!"
"Okay, okay."
Finn made his way to the bathroom which had, indeed, an old shower installed. He carefully closed and locked the door before he started to strip out of his paint stained clothing.
Chunker, who was hovering a bit behind him, was watching. As Finn pulled down his pants, Chunker could finally get a good look at the man's naked ass. He had to admit that it was a fine ass, a tight bubble butt. What really baffled him however was the front department. Chunker hadn't been sure which of the two men would be his main toy, but the size of Finn's manhood made the decision pretty easy.
Finn stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water, which started spraying on him in a nice, strong stream.
"Ahh. That's good."
When Chunker was sure that Finn was busy enjoying the shower, he floated out of his hiding place towards the door. Finn had locked it to have some privacy but as far as Chunker was concerned, Finn should present his assets a bit more proudly. Silently, Chunker's ghostly fingers unlocked the door and swung it open entirely, which would give everyone passing by a real good look on the showering man. Then, Chunker quickly squeezed himself into the pipework and made his way to the shower.
Meanwhile, Finn was enjoying the hot, steamy water. Modern showers didn't get all that hot, but this one here was old and the water temperature was pleasantly high. Some of the paint had already started to dry, so Finn was rubbing his face and hair with his eyes closed and thus did not notice the faintly blue glowing ectoplasm dripping out of the showerhead, somewhat solidifying into Chunker’s massive, yet spectral form behind the young man.
Carefully not to be too obvious, Chunker extended his ghostly arms around Finn's waist and started rubbing his hands over the firm chest, feeling the young man's nipples ever so slightly. Finn didn't notice consciously, but Chunker could feel the man's body reacting under his hands. Slowly, he moved his hands lower. Finn's body was a work of art, a finely crafted piece of art. Chunker took his time feeling the muscles under the wet skin, the firm pecs, the well-defined abs, and then, finally, the pubic hair and, underneath, Finn's large cock.
It took all the self-control Chunker had to only apply the lightest touches to the man's dick, but Chunker had other plans still. So, he only caressed the soft dick very carefully, not strong enough for Finn to be recognizable in the conscious part of his mind, but absolutely enough for his subconscious to notice.
Finn moaned quietly and unconsciously and leaned against the cold tile wall next to him. Meanwhile, Chunker was stroking and tickling the half-hard cock, playing with it and teasing the head, while Finn was still leaning against the wall, his eyes still closed.
The moaning intensified, and soon, Finn's cock was fully hard. Careful not to overdo it, Chunker continued to stimulate the young man, who was now bucking his hips back and forth, his eyes still closed when, just as planned, Chunker heard Brody walk the corridor leading to the bathroom. That was his cue to disappear into the pipes again!
"Okay, I've got the mess cleaned up somewha- woha." Brody had just arrived in front of the wide open door and had a good look on the other man bucking his hips, displaying his erect manhood for the world to see.
"I... oh, ehm. Sorry to interrupt." Brody backed away quickly.
Finn, on the other hand, had been taken aback and his eyes flew open quickly. "Brody! Oh, shit. Sorry, man."
"Yeah, no, it's fine. Just, you know, I can still see you."
Finn scrambled for the towel, wrapped it around his waist and left the shower. "Just a second."
"Sure, sure."
Brody stood awkwardly a few steps down the corridor, just enough to give Finn some privacy despite the wide open door. There was an awkward silence until Brody remarked: "You know, when I suggested you enjoy a shower, I didn't mean..."
"Brody. Don't."
"Right. Sorry."
Most of Finn's clothes were still covered in half-wet paint. There was really no use in putting them on, so, Finn decided to just put on his boxer shorts and carry the rest of his clothes in front of him to hide as much as he could. Not that it was necessary, though. Finn's cock had very quickly gotten soft again when Brody had caught him... doing what exactly?
"I don't think we can do anything more today." Finn broke the tension. "I mean, I need a new set of clothes and all."
Chunker, who was listening in from a wall behind Brody shook his head. No, no, the fun had only just begun. Quickly, he made a noise like a rumbling stomach, just when Brody agreed.
"Oh, right. On the other hand, I still promised pizza and beer, right?" Finn quickly added in reaction to his friends supposed hunger reaction.
"Right! Great idea!" Brody had a tendency to leave the situation as quickly as possible but also didn't want his friend to feel bad. So, he suggested: "Maybe we can watch something on the TV if it still works while eating?"
Finn gladly agreed. That would surely stop any awkward conversation.
Both friends slumped down in the couch in the living room and settled on a rerun of some old Buff the Vampire Slayer episode. They ordered pizza and beer which quickly arrived. Of course, with Finn being half naked, Brody had to go to the door to receive it.
When the two of them were finally relaxing a bit, Chunker, who had floated into the couch could finally make his move. Again, he started slowly. Not unlike before, small tendrils of blue ectoplasm crept into Finn's boxer shorts and brushed ever so slightly against the flaccid man-meat inside.
Finn reacted instantly, just as Chunker had hoped. A tingling sensation spread through his lower body, and a small moan escaped him.
"Everything alright?", Brody asked.
"Yeah, sure." Finn answered and tried to readjust himself without Brody noticing.
Chunker couldn't really see what was going on, but he could feel it. He was faintly stroking the half-hard dick, tickling it and massaging the balls with his ghostly appendages.
Even though Brody tried to focus on the television, it became harder and harder for him to ignore Finn. The other man tried to subtly readjust the contents of his boxer shorts often and even though Brody really didn't want to look, he could see said contents moving and twitching slightly even when Finn did not touch them.
Of course, Finn tried to hide it as best as he could, but certain facts cannot be hidden very well, especially, when the facts are already quite large in their flaccid state. So, not only did Brody notice some twitching in his friends groin but also a growing half-hard boner that made a rather clear outline against the fabric of the shorts.
Chunker knew that now, the real fun would be about to begin. When Finns hand moved for his beer bottle the next time, Chunker quickly squeezed his massive form into the small bottle, ready to start.
"So...", Brody asked carefully. "You okay, buddy?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you, I dunno, okay?"
"Yeah, sure."
Finn moved the bottle to his mouth to take a big sip, when Brody sighed and spoke again.
"Look, I really don't know how to ask this and I'm sorry, but... Are you, like, gay, Finn?"
Finn spit out his beer - and Chunker, who had just prepared to enter the young man's body with the beer - in surprise.
"What?! No! Why do you ask that?"
"I'm really, really sorry, but, dude, I saw you in the bathroom, and I didn't mean to, but, well, you had a hard on, and, you know, if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. To talk, of course, not for anything else. And now..." Brody gestured towards Finns crotch but his courage left him again, so he continued: " I'll stop talking."
Chunker, who had reformed in the couch, was laughing his ass off. If only his housemates would have seen this! He would never hear the end of this!
Finn was tomato-red by now and tried to cover himself with his hands.
"Oh god, I'm sorry, I just feel so weird today. But I'm not gay, I promise!"
"Okay. I'm not gonna judge you, okay? You're my best friend, and, you know, I'm cool with it if you're gay or bi or whatever."
"Yeah, but I'm not."
Let's see about that, decided Chunker. He didn't get in the usual way, so he had to take another route. With a sudden push of his ectoplasmic essence, he squeezed himself into the tight virgin asshole of Finn that was firmly planted on the couch.
All of a sudden, Finn, who had felt some unusual sensation on his behind, jolted up. "Brody! Did you just grab my ass?!"
Brody was flabbergasted. "What? No!"
"I just felt... oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!"
Chunker, who was still not visible, had started to stimulate Finn's prostate from the inside while working his way upward, filling up the man's body with his essence.
"Are you... okay?", Brody asked again.
"I... oh..." moaned Finn again, as his right arm started to act seemingly on its own, spreading out on the back of the couch, around Brody's shoulders.
"What are you doing man?", asked Brody.
"Nothing, I..." Finn started but was interrupted by a sudden sensation of lust and longing. At the same time, his right arm tried to pull Brody in but was met with considerable resistance. Even though Brody was a bit smaller than Finn, he was just as strong.
Chunker, who was almost in full control of Finn's body now frowned. But this wasn't anything a little ectoplasm injection couldn't fix. Brody stared at Finn's arm, transfixed as it started to rapidly grow more muscular, quickly reaching bodybuilder-like dimensions. However, it was only Finn's arm that was changing. At the shoulder, the comically large arm still connected to the same torso. Brody was so enthralled that he wasn't able to react when the now considerably stronger arm pulled him in again. A big fat grin was now plastered on Finn's face, and he said, with a voice that didn't quite seem to belong to him: "Oh, we're gonna have so much fun!"
Before Brody could react, he was pulled into a kiss, too perplex to even struggle. Inside Finn, Chunker prepared for what was to come. He was proud to be pretty good at possessing fleshies, but he had rarely tried two at once. When the lips of the two men locked, Chunker sent a part of his essence into the other man, who was still too surprised to struggle.
Chunker felt Brody's body react to the new sensation. He immediately got into it and Chunker felt the other man's cock growing hard quickly as well. Possessing two people at once was difficult, nearly impossible really. But in this case, the pent up sexual desires of the two made things easier. Chunker just had to give some direction and watch "his boys" go at it full force.
Finn pushed Brody's head down, and Chunker felt the hot, wet mouth enveloping Finn's dick. It was an incredible sensation, the soft lips of the other man and the wetness of his tongue. At the same time, Chunker could feel the somewhat salty and manly precum marinated cock on Brody's tongue as he began to suck. It took all of Chunker's strength to keep the two men under his control and not get swept away.
Finn, meanwhile, was getting lost in the sensation. All his senses were occupied by the blowjob he was receiving and the warm wetness and the incredible feeling on his cock. Even the sounds, Brody's heavy breathing, the moans of the two, the gagging sound as the thick shaft was shoved into his mouth, it was almost too much for the man. However, with a sheer feat of will, Chunker prevented the young man from cumming right here and then. Instead, he made Finn shove Brody's head away and get up.
It almost didn't need any impulse from Chunker for Brody to turn around and stick his bubble butt in the air, offering his virgin ass. Chunker quickly positioned the hard and ready cock of his puppet against the tight entrance and pushed forward, while Finn's hands practically ripped the work pants down.
Chunker couldn't believe how amazing it felt. He was not a virgin by any means, but the tight virgin hole, combined with the hot and tight insides, the incredible sensation on his cock and the moans and feelings of the man taking it was almost too much for him.
"Oh, shit!", Finn groaned. "This is the best fucking thing ever!"
Chunker could only agree. His puppets were fucking each other hard, and the sensations were almost overwhelming him. Straight boys his ass. The two of them were so into it, it was obvious that some unspoken desire had pent up for most of their adult lives.
Finn was pounding into the other man as hard as he could, and Brody was thrusting back, his own dick swinging free and dripping copious amounts of pre-cum on the sofa below. Finally, the two men were at their limit.
"Finn, oh shit, I'm gonna cum."
"Do it, man, fucking shoot it!"
Brody let out a scream and his dick began spurting thick loads of white cum all over the sofa.
"Fuck!", moaned Finn.
And then, the orgasm hit him. He felt his balls contracting and his dick twitching and a huge amount of cum being released from his dick, straight into Brody's ass, who was still thrusting back on his cock, riding out his own orgasm.
With the double orgasm, Chunker couldn't hold on any longer. He was forcefully ejected from two bodies at once, experiencing the intense rollercoaster of emotions as if he just cummed himself.
Before the two men could recover, Chunker flew off to his attic. That had been a great possession session. He just hoped that the two men would return for more.
This is my contribution to the annual great story gift exchange, for @thepossessionmaster.
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Season 1, Episode 17 - Hell House
Series Masterlist
Third Person POV
Dean is driving down Interstate 35, Y/N is fast asleep in the back seat after beating Sam in rock paper scissors for it, while Sam is fast asleep in the passenger seat with his mouth open. Dean smirks mischievously at the two, taking up an old spoon he found in the car and shoving it in Sams mouth gently.
Then taking a pen from his jacket pocket, and gently shoving it in Y/N's nose. He smiles proudly, flipping open his phone to take a picture of Sam and then one of Y/N. He then turns the radio up that's playing Fire of an Unknown Origin by Blue Oysters Cult. "A FIRE OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN TOOK MY BABY AWAY!!" Dean sings along loudly, drumming along to the beat in the steering wheel.
Sam jumps awake along with Y/N, panicking when he feels something foreign in his mouth, spitting the spoon out. "What the fuck!?" Y/N yells, startled when she feels something foreign in her nose, pulling the pen that's stuck in her nose out. Sam wipes his mouth as Y/N rubs her nose.
"Ha-ha, very funny" Sam says dryly as Dean chuckles, laughing hysterically. "Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in east Texas. Kinda gotta make your own" Dean chuckles. "And my nose has to suffer for your boredom" Y/N scoffs, rubbing her nose. Dean smiles at her through the rearview mirror as she rubs her nose like a puppy. His heart flutters at how cute she looks.
"Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again" Sam says annoyed. "Start what up?" Dean feigns confusion. "That prank stuff. It's stupid and always escalates" Sam snaps. Y/N chuckles a bit at a memory, "Awww what's the matter, Sammy. You afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?" Y/N teases her best friend.
Dean laughs hysterically at the memory of a bald soapy hair 13 year old Sam, running out of the bathroom, butt ass naked, screaming in terror like he's in a horror movie after Y/N put Nair in his shampoo because he made cookies and replaced the sugar with salt, then offered it to a innocent Y/N. She's the way with cookies, the way Dean is with pie. You don't mess with her cookies. "Alright. Just remember, you two started it" Sam challenges.
"Oh no no noooo. I am not getting involved in your weird sibling rivalry. I always get caught in the middle of it. No thank you." Y/N protests, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest Dean smirks at her through the rearview mirror. "Wuss" He snickers and Y/N glares at him, flipping him off. "Bring it on baldy" Dean chuckles looking at Sam. "Where are we, anyway?" Sam asks him.
"Few hours outside of Richardson" Dean tells him. "Give us the lowdown again" Y/N asks Sam to explain the case they were working. Sam pulls out his file, "Alright, about a month or two ago, this group of kids go poking around this local haunted house-" Sam explains but Dean cuts him off to ask. "Haunted by what?" He asks.
"Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit" Sam responds and Y/N groans. "Just wonderful" She mutters sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this ground of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar." Sam continues. "Anybody ID the corpse?" Y/N asks, leaning forward in the backseats between the boys.
"Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there, the body was gone. Some cops say the kids were just yanking chains" Sam tells them and their eyebrows shoot up at this. "Maybe the cops are right" Dean suggests. "Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids firsthand accounts. They seem pretty sincere" Sam says. "Where did you read these accounts?" Y/N asks him curiously.
He chuckles lightly, a bit ashamed to answer her question, "Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas to go to Y/N's safehouse. So, uh, last night, I surfed some local...paranormal websites. And I found one" Sam says lowly. Dean smirks as Y/N shakes her head, knowing what this might mean. "And what's it called?" Dean asks his brother. Sam chuckles again before sheepishly answering,
"HellHoundsLair.com". Dean scoffs laughing as Y/N chuckles, "Let me guess, streaming live out of moms basement" She jokes, making both boys erupt loudly with laughter. "Yeah, probably" Sam agrees laughing. "Most of those websites wouldn't know what a ghost was if it hit 'em in the 'persqueeter'" Dean chuckles. "Look, we let our dads take off, which was a mistake, by the way. And now we don't know where the hell they are, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt" Sam suggests.
"You're right I guess. There's no harm checking this thing out" Y/N shrugs agreeing. Dean sighs, "Alright, so where do we find these kids?" He gives in. "Same place you always find kids in a town like this" Sam says as if it was obvious.
________________________________
Richardson, Texas
A couple hours later, the trio pulls into the parking lot of the local diner by the name of Rodeo Drive to question the teens from the police report.
Boy 1: "It was the scariest thing I ever saw in my life. I swear to God."
Boy 2: "From the moment we walked in. The walls were painted black"
Boy 1: "Red."
Girl: "I think it was blood"
Boy 1: "All these freaky symbols"
Boy 2: "Crosses and stars, and.."
Boy 1: "Pentagons"
Boy 2: "Pentecostals"
Girl: "Whatever. I had my eyes closed the whole time"
Boy 1: "But I can damn sure tell you this much: No matter what anybody else says-"
Girl: "That poor girl"
Boy 2: "With the black..."
Boy 1: "Blonde.."
Girl: "Red hair, just hanging there"
Boy 1: "Kicking"
Boy 2: "Without even moving"
Girl: "She was real"
Boy 1: "It's 100%"
Boy 2: "And kind of hot...well you know in a dead sort of way"
"Okay!" Y/N exclaims, chuckling a bit awkwardly. Disgusted by the last comment. She and the boys, sitting across from the three teenagers in the diner. "And how did you find out about this place, anyway?" Sam asks them, the trio confused by the inconsistencies in the stories.
"Craig took us" The three teenagers respond in unison as the three hunters share a look.
________________________________
The three hunters enter the record store after asking where the Craig guy could be found. "Gentlemen and Lady. Can I help you with anything?" A young man working in the store asks them, carrying a box of records to the register. "Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?" Sam asks him.
"I am" The young man confirms. "Well, we're reporters with The Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam and Y/N" Dean lies on spot, covering as reporters. "No way. Yeah, I'm a writer too. I write for my schools lit magazine" Craig chuckles, boasting a bit. "Ahh, well good for your Morrissey" Y/N jokes, Dean snorts at the reference.
"Um, we're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it, you might know about one" Sam says casually and Craig's face drops. "You mean the Hell House?" He asks them. "That's the one" Dean says smiling. "I didn't think there was anything to the story" Craig says. "Why don't you tell us the story, hun" Y/N says sweetly. Craig puts the record in his hand down and sighs.
"Well, supposedly back in the 30s, this farmer, Mordechai Murdock, used to live in the house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to even feed his own children" Craig explains, sighing. "So I guess that's when he went off the deep end. "How?" Sam asks curiously as Dean checks out the records.
"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them." Craig further explains, the three hunters listening intently. "And they screamed, begged for him to stop but....he just strung em up, one after another. And then when it was all finished. He turned around and hung himself" Craig finishes.
"Now they said that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside" He adds. "And where did you hear all this?" Y/N asks him, cocking her eyebrow. "My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from...You gotta realize. I didn't believe this for a second." Craig defends.
"But now you do" Sam says. "I don't know what the hell to think man" Craig responds lowly. "You guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real, alright? She was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?" He assures them fearfully.
Y/N cocks her eyebrow at his claims. Not fully convinced but she decided to go with it. They share a look before turning back to him, "Thanks" Dean says gratefully and they all leave the store.
________________________________
Later the boys and Y/N ask around and found the location of, Hell House. Now walking down the path to the abandoned house. "Can't say I blame the kid" Sam says. "Yeah, so much for curb appeal" Dean agrees. Sam and Y/N walk around the side investigating while Dean pulls out his EMF that begins to make some noise.
"You got something?" Y/N asks him. "Yeah, but the EMFs no good" Dean responds, tapping it. "Why?" Sam asks confused. "I think that things still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings" Dean says, pointing to the power lines. "Yeah, that would do it" Sam says, looking up at it. "Yeah" Y/N sighs and Dean turns to her.
"What about you?" He asks her. "Huh?" She says confused. "You know....your whole ESP thing" He says, pointing to his head and she rolls her eyes. "1, I'm not ESP." She says firmly making him chuckle. "And 2, I actually don't feel anything" She says, crunching her eyebrows.
Knowing normally she feels a heaviness around areas where people have died violently, etc. "Really? No, 'I see dead people'? What about you, Sammy?" He smirks, teasing the two, now turning to his brother who is glaring at him. Y/N shoved him lightly making him laugh loudly. "Come on. Let's go" Y/N ushers the boys towards the house, them following behind.
Dean whistles lowly as they close the door behind them at the state of the house. It was completely trashed, most likely by stupid teenagers. With a bunch of weird symbols all over the room. "Looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger during his time" Dean says, his eyes on the reverse cross painted on the wall.
Y/N notices that some of the symbols are relatively new. "And after his time too" She says, nudging Sam. "The reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries" He says pointing to cross. "But this Sigil of Sulfer didn't show up in San Francisco until the 60s" Sam finishes pointing the Sigil.
Dean stares at his brothers blankly, "This is exactly why you never get laid" He deadpans while Sam rolls his eyes, taking a picture of the sigil. "Hey! I get laid" Y/N says defensively. "Yeah, because you're hot. Sam's not" Dean blurts out, shocking the Sam and Y/N, their mouths agape. Only realizing what he said, after it escaped his lips. "You think I'm hot?" Y/N smirks, her tone teasing.
Dean freezes in his tracks as he was walking to the other side of the room. He looks back at the two, Sam with a smug grin on his face, wiggling his eyebrows at his elder brother suggestively, making mock kissy faces in Deans direction. Y/N with her arms crossed over her chest, an amused grin on her face, her back turnt to Sam, so she's oblivious at what Sam's mocking.
Dean clears his throat and gulps. Heat rising to his face. His eyes shifting between his bratty brother and even the brattier women he's in love with. "I- Shut up and work the case!" Dean retorts lamely as the two best friends burst out laughing. Y/N's heart skips a beat at the fact that she's sure now that Dean finds her attractive. Dean then notices a weird looking symbol on the wall, "What about this one. You seen this one before?" Dean asks them, tilting his head a bit to look at the symbol.
The symbol looking somewhat familiar. It was practically an upside down question mark with three lines going out the side of the dot. One on top and two on each sides. Y/N walks next to him and tilts her head also to look at it. "Nope" Sam responds, taking a picture of it. "I have...Somewhere" Dean says in recognition. "Yeah...me too. I don't know where" She agrees.
Y/N then leans forward to touch the symbol, the color of the paint staining her fingers. "It's paint" She informs them, showing them her stained finger. "Seems pretty fresh too" Sam points out. "I don't know, guys" Dean sighs. "I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind...but the cops might be right on this one" Dean says.
"Yeah, maybe" Y/N agrees. The suddenly, they hear rustling in a nearby room. They share a look before going to the door and pressing up against it on either side, Y/N next to Dean and Sam on the other side. They all nod before bursting in, only to be startled by lights shining in their faces by two guys, Ed and Harry, screaming in fear.
One with a camera and one with a bright studio light. "What the.." Y/N mutters as they all share confused looks on their faces. "Cut. Just a couple of humans" Ed scoffs as Harry switches the camera off. "What are you guys doing here?" He asks the boys annoyed, his eyes settling on Y/N, looking like he's practically in love. "What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asks them, just as annoyed.
Ed clears his throat, his eyes shifting back over to Dean, "We belong here. We're professionals" says cockily, shrugging as if it's obvious. Y/N cocks her eyebrow at this, "Professional what?" She asks them. A smirk rises on Ed's face, "Paranormal investigators" He boasts, pulling out three business, handing it to her. "There you go. Take a look for yourself, gorgeous" He winks at her.
She rolls her eyes, taking the cards from him. Dean glares daggers at Ed, his nostrils flaring. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me" Dean groans as he looks at the business card Y/N handed him and Sam. "Jesus Christ" Y/N groans in annoyance. "Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler. HellHoundsLair.com" Sam looks up as them. "You guys run that website?" Y/N asks them.
"Sure do, gorgeous." He winks at her again and she cringes. "What? Was Venkman and Stantz taken?" She retorts snidely, making them glare at her, a cheeky smile taking over her face. "Oh, yeah, yeah. We're huge fans" Dean says sarcastically, going over to the cabinet, rummaging through it. "And uh, we know who you guys are too" Ed says. "Oh, yeah?" Sam responds as Ed clears his throat cockily.
"Amateurs. Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills. Yeah" He says. The three hunters hold back a laugh at his cocky nature, sharing a look that says 'get a load of this guy'. "So, if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here" Harry finally chimes in. Their amused faces don't falter.
"Yeah? What do you got so far?" Dean asks them snidely. "Harry, why don't you tell them about EMF?" Ed says. Y/N decides to have a little fun with this, "EMF? What's that?" She feigns confusion, scrunching her eyebrows. Dean chuckles lightly at this, shaking his head. "Electromagnetic field" Harry responds smugly.
Turning around to go into his bag to grab his EMF. Sam has a small grin on his face. He and Y/N share an amused look as they begin to explain, "Spectral entities can cause entertainment fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector. Like this bad boy right here" Harry shows them the EMF that begins going crazy.
"Whoa. Whoa. That's 2.8 MG" Harry points out. Dean and Y/N glance at each other, holding back snickers. "2.8!" Ed exclaims as Dean whistles lowly. "Wow" Sam says in a fake impressed tone. "Huh. So have you guys ever really seen a ghost before or...?" Dean asks them, putting on a curious face as Ed takes the EMF off.
"Once" Ed responds, turning to him. "We were uh investigating this old house..." He begins to explain taking a deep breath. Dean crosses his arms over his chest nodding as if he's shocked. "...and we saw a case fall right off the table" He finishes. "By itself" Harry adds in a low tone, "But we didn't actually see it...but we heard it" Ed explains, Dean looks down shaking his head in disgust.
Sam and Y/N roll their eyes. "And something like that...it changes you" Ed whispers. "Yeah, I think I get the picture" Dean says nodding, walking back to Sam and Y/N. "We should go, let them get back to work" Y/N adds sarcastically. Ed flashes her a wink. "Yeah, you two should go." He says to Sam and Dean. "You could stay, gorgeous" He grins widely at Y/N.
Deans head snaps in his direction, his jaw clenching. A laugh bubbles in Y/N's throat, amused at the fact that Ed thinks he has a shot, "Never gonna happen" She laughs at his lame flirting walking out the door, the boys following behind her. Ed's eyes fall to her hips as we walks away, trailing down. As she walks out, she gets the sense that Ed was staring at her ass, which he was.
"Stop staring at my ass, Venkman!" She shouts, making Sam and Dean laugh. Deans genuinely relieved at the fact that she wasn't into Ed, not that she would be. But the sight of Ed flirting with her just amped up and fueled his jealously.
I need to get laid and get these thoughts out of my head. Dean thinks to himself.
Yeah, sure. Like that's gonna help.
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Sam and Y/N walk out of the Colin County Public Library, "Hey" They hail Dean. "Hey, what do you guys got?" He asks them. "Well, we couldn't find a Mordechai, but we did find a Martin Murdock who lived in that house in the 30s" Y/N explains. "He did have children's but only two of them. Both boys. And there's not record he every killed anyone" Sam adds.
"What about you?" She asks Dean. "Well, those kids didn't really give a clear description of that dead girl. I did hit up the police station. No matching missing persons. It's like she never existed" Dean tells them what he found. "Guys, come on. We did our digging. This one's a busy" He says to them.
Y/N sighs, agreeing. "For all we know, those Hellhound dorks made up the whole thing" She says. Sam sighs, "Yeah, alright." Dean says. "I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers and leave the legend for the locals" Dean suggest, giving Y/N a wink before jumping into the Impala. "Amen to that" She laughs, jumping in shotgun.
As they jump in, Sam has a devious smirk on his face. Dean then starts the car, Sam leans down to see their reactions and instantly salsa music starts blurring from the radio and the wipers on the windshield start moving, scaring the crap out of him and Y/N. "WOAH!" Dean yells turning off the wipers. "DAMMIT!" Y/N screams, quickly turning the radio off.
They hear Sam laughing as he jumps in the backseat. He licks his finger, putting up a one and pointing to himself with a smug look on his face and they glare at him. "That's all you got? It's weak" Dean scoffs as Sam laughs, closing the door. "That is bush league dude" Y/N adds as rolls her eyes.
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Y/N's POV
The next day, the boys and I find out that there was a dead girl found this time in the Murdock house. Police are currently taking pictures and reports of the incident as we're walking towards it. "What happened?" Dean asks a man who was at the scene. "Cops say that poor girl hung herself in the house" He tells us.
"Suicide?" I ask him shocked. "Yeah. And she was a straight A student with a full ride to UT too. It just don't make sense" He says sadly before walking away. "What do you guys think?" Sam asks us as they're wheeling the body out. Dean turns and looks at us, "I think maybe we missed something" He says.
Later that night, the three of us are crouched behind a bush, waiting for the police to leave so we can go investigate again. But they haven't left yet which is strange. "I guess the cops don't want anymore kids screwing around in there" Sam huffs. "Yeah, but we still gotta get in there" Dean says. I then hear some whisper not too far from us.
I turn my head to see Ed and Harry with their geek equipment, trudging through the woods. "I don't believe it" I groan, rolling my eyes. Sam and Dean turn their heads also. "Those idiots are gonna get themselves killed" Sam grumbles. "I got an idea" Dean says, getting up slowly, he cups his hand to his mouth and yells loudly.
"Who you gonna call?!" I bite back a laugh at his Ghostbusters reference. "Hey, you!" A police officer spots Ed and Harry. They panic when they see the officers, "Freeze!" The officer yell, running after them. They begin running away, their equipment partially slowing them down. "Get back here!" They yell at them.
"Come on, don't leave me here!" I hear Ed plead with Harry who's running quicker than him. They boys and I take the clearing to run into the house quickly through the backdoor without them noticing, we shut the door behind us. Sam drops the bag, taking out three rocksalt shotguns, handing one each to me and Dean.
We cock our guns as I shine my flashlight around the house. The light lands on the symbol and I try to remember where I've seen it. "Where have I seen that symbol before." I grumble as I point my flashlight to it. "I know right, it's killing me!" He exclaims. "Come on, we don't have much time" Sam says to us.
We nod and move towards the next room. Walking down into the basement, Dean goes up to a shelf that has a bunch of jars with a weird looking red liquid inside as Sam and I check out the other side. Picking it up, he smirks, "Hey guys, I dare each of you to take a swig of this" Dean says to us, we look at him like he's crazy. "What the hell would we do that for?" Sam cocks his eyebrow.
"I double dare you" He smiles, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I give him a blank stare and shake my head. We then hear creaking by a nearby cabinet, giving each other a look. Me and Dean cock our guns at the door as Sam moves next to it, on the count of three. He quickly opens it and some rats run out squealing.
I grimace as Sam laughs and Dean shudders in disgust, "Ugh. I hate rats" He groans. "You'd rather it was a ghost?" I ask him chuckling. "Yes" He says and I shake my head smiling. Then suddenly I feel the familiar chill run up the back of my neck and I turn my head quickly to see the shadow of a man in a cowboy hat, his wrists slit, holding an axe, ready to chop me.
"Fellas!" I scream, ducking before he can chop me and the boys spin around in an instant, shooting him but he doesn't budge. Disapparating into a black smoke "What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rocksalt?!" Sam yells. "I don't know" Me and Dean respond. "Come on, come on, come on" I grab them to run out of the room.
But the spirit destroyed the shelf of jars and it topples onto me and Dean, throwing us to the ground. The spirit tries to hit Sam but he breaks with his shot gun, "Go! Get out of here!" He yells at me and Dean. Then kicking Murdock in his stomach, we all run up the stairs and bolt for the front door that was board up.
We all crash our bodies through it, breaking it on impact, we fall off the porch and through the police tape. When we get up, we see Ed and Harry with their cameras, "Get that damn thing out of my face!" I yell at them angrily, shoving Ed roughly. "Go, go, go!" Sam shouts. "Get out of here!" Dean shouts at them warningly as we make a break for the Impala.
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After fleeing for our lives, we are back at the motel. The next morning after getting some rest, Dean is on his bed with his sketch pad, doodling, while Sam and I are at the table doing research. "What the hell is this symbol. It's bugging the hell out of me" Dean says frustrated. "This whole damn jobs bugging me" I agree with him, shaking my head, already fed up.
"Tell me about it, I thought the legend said that Mordechai only goes after chicks." He says. "It does" Sam says. Dean nods, twirling his pen in his finger. "Alright, I mean that explains why he went after you and Y/N. But why me?" Dean mutters, scratching his head. I snort a bit at his burn and Sam's eyes snap over to Dean, glaring at him.
"Hilarious" Sam deadpans. "The legend also says he hung himself. But did you guys see those slit wrists?" I ask them. "Yeah" Dean responds. "What's up with that? And the axe too" Sam points out. "Ghosts are usually pretty strict. Following the patterns over and over" I add as I scroll on the HellHounds website.
"But this mook keeps changing" Dean says. "Exactly" Sam sighs, handing me the book he was reading. I take it from him and hand him the laptop. He then begins scrolling on the website as he rubs his eyes from exhaustion. "Im telling you. The way the story goes...wait a minute" Sam goes to say but pauses, turning the laptop to me as he's found something.
"What?" Dean asks him from his bed. My eyes cork up as I quickly read the new post. "Someone added a new posting to the hellhound website" I tell Dean. "Listen to this: 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before spitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in a house for eternity" Sam reads the article out loud.
"Where the hell is this going?" I mutter. "I have no idea" Sam mutters back. "I don't know. But I think I might have just figured out where it all started" Dean says, pointing to his doodle of the symbol. He gives us a smug smile before getting up and grabbing his jacket.
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We all enter the record shop we were at earlier after Dean explained to us what he figured out. I gotta give it to him, he's smarter than he makes himself out to be. "Hey Craig, you remember us?" Dean calls out to Craig as we enter. From his body language alone I could tell he was annoyed. "Guys, look. I'm really not in the mood to answer any more of your questions, okay?" He says exasperated.
"Oh don't worry, hun. We're just here to buy an album, that's all" I tell him and he sighs relieved turning back. I give Dean a look and he smiles at me as I shuffle through the records and hand him the Blue Oyster Cult album. "You know, I couldn't figure out what that symbol was. And then I realized it doesn't mean anything" Dean says with a smug tone as we walk towards Craig.
"It's the logo for Blue Oyster Cult" Dean calls him out on his bullshit. Craig freezes, instantly giving himself away. "So tell me Craig, you into BOC or just scaring the hell out of people" I narrow my eyes at him and Dean hands him the album which he takes. "Now why don't you tell us about that house. Without lying through your ass this time" I say in a snarky tone.
I could see a smirk rise on Deans face at the corner of my eyes as Craig sighs heavily. Panicking. "Alright. I- My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls. Some from some albums. Some from some of Dana's theology textbooks." He begins to explains.
"Then we found out this guy, Murdock, used to live there. So we-" He pauses, taking a deep breath. "So we, made up some story to go along with that. So they told people who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website" He adds rolling his eyes as we listen intently. "Everything just...took on a life of its own. I mean. I thought it was funny at first, but...now that girls dead" He says, absolutely horrified.
I sympathize with him because he's a stupid kid that didn't know any better and was just looking for a kick. They don't know about what's out there but at the same time. It created a mess. "It was just a jokes. You know, I mean, none of it was real. We made the whole thing up. I swear" He stresses, tears forming in his eyes.
The boys and I nod understandably as he sniffles back his tears, "Alright. Thanks" I say to him calmly, offering him a small smile which he returns lightly. The boys and I turn to walk off, "If none of it was real, how the hell do you explain Mordechai?" Dean questions as he walk out. Me and Sam sigh, shrugging. Absolutely stumped.
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Later, me and Sam are at the motel room while he's taking a shower, I'm by the window smoking a cigarette, waiting for him to finish so I can shower. Dean walks in and throws his keys on the table, a mischievous look on his face. "Hey Princess" He smiles at me, closing the door behind him. "Hey charming..." I cock my eyebrow suspiciously as he pulls out a little familiar looking baggy.
His head pans over to me slowly, before bringing a finger to his lips, "Shhh" He shushes me with a smirk on his face. I shake my head as I take I drag from my cigarette, chuckling lightly. "Hey I'm back!" Dean announces his arrival to Sam as he rips the bag open. "Hey! Where were you?" Sam asks him from the shower.
"Oh I went out!" Dean responds as he throws the itching powder all over Sam's pants and boxers. "Seriously dude. Itching powder?" I grumble at him, dusting my ash into the ashtray. He just winks at me. "Game on, sweetheart" He whispers back, a smirk on his face, blowing me a kiss. I roll my eyes chuckling. "So me and Y/N may have a theory about what's going on!" Sam says from the shower.
"Oh yeah?" Dean questions, still throwing the powder on Sams clothes. ""Yeah, what if Mordechai is a Tulpa?" I suggest. "Tulpa?" Dean questions. Sam then opens the door, walking out from the shower as Dean quickly hides the powder in his powder. "Yeah, a Tibetan thought form" Sam says as he walks out of the shower, naked from the waist up, a towel around his waist.
Dean scratches his head, trying to mask his mischievous actions. I shake my head, holding back a snicker as I crush my cigarette in the tray. "Yeah, no, I know what a tulpa is...Hey, why don't you get dressed. Me and Y/N can go grab something to eat" Dean says quickly, pulling me by my hand before I can protest.
He grabs my leather jacket before giving Sam a cheeky smile, closing the door behind us. "He's gonna kill you" I snicker as he helps me put my jacket on, pulling my hair out from behind it. He smiles at me, flashing me a wink. "Wait till you see what I got in store for later" He brags, I just roll my eyes chuckling. "Boys" I scoff.
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Third Person POV
They're all now at a diner in town, "There you go, love" The kind man at the counter hands Y/N and Dean their trays of food. "Thank you" She says sweetly, taking her tray as Dean takes his. Y/N turns around as they're walking to a table to see Sam itching away at his pants. Y/N and Dean share a look of amusement as she bites back a snicker at this. "Dude, what's your problem?" Dean asks Sam feigning confusion.
"Nothing, I'm fine" Sam tries to brush it off, still itching. "Yeah?" Y/N asks him innocently. "Yeah" He assures them. "Alright? So uh, keep going. What about these tulpas?" Dean asks me as they take a seat at the table. Sam rests his bag down as he takes a seat. "Okay, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. A group of monks visualize a golem in their heads. They meditate on it so hard, they bring the thing to life" Y/N explains while she pops the lid off of her coffee and stirs it up, taking a sip.
"Out of thin air" Sam adds. "So?" Dean questions, taking a sip of his coffee. "That was 20 monks. Imagine what 10,000 web surfers could do" Sam says, pulling his laptop out of the bag. "I mean, Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people, all believing in the bastard." He says, typing on his laptop.
Sam cringes in discomfort, still scratching his legs. "Okay, wait wait wait. So you're trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" Dean cocks his eyebrow. Y/N and Sam shrug. "I don't know, maybe?" Sam says, typing on his laptop, grimacing from the itching. She bites back a smirk as she eat her fries at his discomfort.
'I feel a bit bad for the kid but I'm not saying anything because I'm not trying to be pulled into this.' Y/N thinks to herself.
"People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?" Dean says sarcastically. "Because I'm pretty sure you're the first name on Santas naughty list" She shoots back with a cheeky smile. Dean glares at her a bit but a slight smirk rises on his lips.
"I'll show you who's on the naughty list" He whispers to her lowly in a husky tone so Sam wouldn't hear. But he damn well heard, rolling his eyes at their stomach churning flirting, he's too irritated by the itching in his pants to care. A blush rises on Y/N's face but she covers it up with a stunned look. She then raises her foot, kicking his shin below the table with her boot.
Dean huffs a "Ow" as she shoots him a warning look. Dean snickers at her reaction, pleased. "Don't test me, Winchester" She flirts back, matching his tone. Deans smirk grows wider. He seems pleased with her response, she takes notice of the way his chest heaves.
'The things I would do to this breathtaking women. Son of a bitch.'
Dean thinks to himself as he pulls his lower lip in between his teeth, causing her stomach to flutter, a familiar heat rising in her southern region.
'Fuck, what I would do just to get a taste of his lips. Oh god, not now. Seriously y/n? The dudes biting his lip and you're turnt on? Get a grip girl! Thirsty ass bitch.'
Y/N practically mentally reprimands herself for feeling so flustered by Dean.
'Hey God? It's Sam again. Please, I'm begging you. Just make these too lovesick puppies fuck already for Christ's sake.'
Sam internally groans.
Y/N's POV
"Here, look at this" Sams voice breaks us out of our heated gaze. "Hmm?" We both say innocently as Dean clears his throat, Sam then turns the laptop to us, showing us a picture of the symbol we found. "That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house" Sam says. "Craig said they were painting symbols from a Theology textbook. We're thinking they painted this, not even knowing what it was" Sam explains to Dean, cringing from the itching again.
So I decide to take over. Dean bites back a smirk when he realizes the itching is getting worse. "What Sam's saying, That sigil has been used for centuries. Concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So people are on the Helldweebs website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai" I add as Dean nods. "I mean, we don't know, but it might be enough to bring a tulpa to life" I say, taking a bite of my sandwich.
"It would explain why it keeps changing" Dean agrees, taking a sip of his coffee as Sam continues to scratch his legs. "Right. As the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of Telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work" Sam says, pointing to the laptop with one hand, grimacing as he itches.
"Yeah, because he's not a traditional spirit, per se" Dean says. "Yeah" Sam huffs, cringing still itching. "Okay, so why didn't we just uhh... get this spirit signal thingy off the wall and the website?" Dean suggests and I shake my head as I wipe my mouth. "It's not that simple. You see, once tulpas are created, they take on a life of their own" I say. Dean sighs, wiping his nose.
"Great. Alright, so if he really is a Thought-form. How the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?" Dean asks a bit frustrated. "Well it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us" Sam says, me and Dean roll our eyes at the thought. "Check out their home page" Sam turns the laptop and pulls up the helldorks page to the video they posted of Mordechai. "Holy shit" I gasp in shock as I look at the views.
"Yep. Since they posted the video, the number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone" Sam stresses, nodding at my reaction. "Huh. I got an idea. Come on. You done?" Dean asks me quickly. "Yeah, I'm finished. Where are we going?" I tell him, gesturing to my empty tray as we pick up our coffees and Sam closes his laptop.
"We need to find a copy store" Dean tells us. Sam gets up, still itching his legs. Shakily putting his laptop into his bag. "Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something" He groans. I can't hold in my amusement anymore so me and Dean begin laughing hysterically at this. "You two did this?" Sam asks us shocked. I shake my head and point at Dean with my thumb.
"It was all him" I snort as Dean continues walking away laughing. "You're a frigging jerk!" Sam shouts at Dean who's still laughing. "Oh yeah!" Dean retorts back chuckling.
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The boys and I pull up in the trailer park, near Ed and Harrys trailer. "Gosh, can they get anymore geeky" I cringe as I step out of the Impala. "You guys ready?" Dean asks us. "Like Freddy" Sam nods with a smirk. "Let's punk some dorks" I snort. I knock harshly on the door, I'm pretty sure I heard someone squeak. "Who is it?" Harry asks fearfully. The boys snicker at his reaction, "Come on out here guys. We hear you in there!" Dean bellows.
The two open the door and I snort when I see the shelf behind them. "Oh look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shock" I say sarcastically as Dean snickers. I notice Ed biting his lips as he looks at me and I cringe. "Guys, we need to talk" Sam says. "Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're a bit busy right now" Ed says smoothly as they step out of their trailer.
Busy my ass. I roll my eyes, "Yeah, well, we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website" Dean says plainly with a fake smile which Ed finds funny for some reason. "Man, you know, these guys get us busted last night. We spend the night in a holding cell" Ed laughs while Harry looks annoyed. "I had to pee in that cell, in-front of people. And I get stage fright" Harry complains. "Why should we trust you?" Ed narrows his eyes at us.
"Look guys, we all know what we saw last night. What in that house. But now that's to your website, there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai" Sam says. "That's right, which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person. Somebody could get hurt" Dean warns them. "Yeah?" Ed smirks. "Ed, maybe they've got a point" Harry interjects.
"No" Ed shakes his head. "Nope" Harry suddenly says. Jesus, Harry's practically this dudes Yes Man. "Okay, we have an obligation to our fans, to the truth" Ed says cockily. I chuckle annoyed at this, "Well I have an obligation to kick both your asses right now-" I snap angrily, fearful looks taking over both their faces but Sam and Dean cut me off.
"Y/N/N, hey. Just forget it, alright?" Sam says calmly. "These guys. You could probably bitch slap them both" Dean adds, making the two idiots chuckle arrogantly. I narrow my eyes at them. "I could probably even tell them that thing about Mordechai..." Sam adds suggestively, Ed and Harry becomes a bit intrigued by this. "But....they're still not gonna help us" Sam sighs.
"Let's just go Princess" Dean says, giving me a knowing look. I get where they're getting at and nod. Putting the plan into action. "Yeah you two are right" I sigh and we begin walking off. The two following behind us like lost puppies. "Woah woah woah. Wait wait" "Hold on a second here" Harry and Ed stutter in unison.
"Yeah, what thing about Mordechai, you guys?" Harry asks us as we walk away, a slight smirk on my face. "Don't tell them, Sam" I say lowly, staying in character. "But if they agree to shut the website down, guys" Sam fake protests. "They're not gonna do it! You said so yourself" Dean denies as we continue walking, the two following behind us. "No, wait wait! Don't listen to them, okay? We'll do it" Ed finally agrees.
We all share a amused look before turning around to them. "It's a secret, Sam" Dean adds, fueling the act. Sam sighs, "Look, it's a pretty big deal, alright? And it wasn't easy to dig up" Sam says. "So only if we have your word you'll shut everything down" I add, pointing at them firmly. "Totally" Ed smirks at me, his eyes scanning me up and down. I cringe at this.
"And wipe that look off your face, not even an ocean could quench your thirst dude" I snap at him and he looks down guilty. "Yes ma'am" He salutes, causing me to roll my eyes. "Alright" Sam says, pulling a paper out of his pocket. "It's a death certificate from the 30s. We got it at the library" Sam begins to feed them the fake story as Dean hands them the paper we printed at the copy shop.
"Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self inflicted gunshot wound" Sam tells them as they look at the paper, then up at us. "That's right, he didn't hang or cut himself" Dean says. "He shit himself?" Ed asks us, shocked. "Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them" I respond nodding.
"As a matter of face, they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought iron rounds. You'd kill the son of a bitch" Dean adds. The two look at each other in glee. Harry then runs to the trailer. Presumably to post the story. "Thanks gorgeous" Ed winks at me. I scoff as he runs behind Harry. "Harry. Slow your roll, buddy. They're gonna know we're excited" He calls out to Harry lowly.
I notice Deans jaw clench whenever Ed flirts with me. "Dorks" I snort as we walk back to the Impala. "I think one of those dorks has a thing for you, sweetheart" Dean snickers, his jaw still clenching. I roll my eyes as Sam laughs at this. "Please, y/n/n's standards aren't THAT low" He snorts. I shove him lightly as Dean laughs. "I hate you two" I grumble chuckling, causing Sam to laugh more.
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Due to Deans never ending hunger, we're now again at a diner. Sam on my laptop searching the website, while I'm reading a book about tulpas. I'm next to Dean while Sam is on the opposite side of the booth. Dean, being the man child he is, is currently playing with a string machine that's next to up on the wall.
Where when you pull the string, a man plastic man with a fish in his hand, starts laughing. This has been going on for about five minutes and it's getting annoying. Sam pulls the string, stopping it while we both glare at Dean. "If you pull that string one more time, I'm gonna kill you" He deadpans. Dean stares at him blankly. I look back down at my book and pulls the string again, making it laugh.
My head snaps up so instantly raise my foot and kick him in the shin under the table with my boot. "Ow!" He exclaims, a smile on his face. Sam pulls the string to stop it, glaring at Dean who chuckles at the both of us. A cheeky smile on his face. "Come on, guys. You need more laughter in your lives. You know? You're way to tense" Dean chuckles as Sam sips his beer, annoyed.
"I'm fine, thank you" I grumble. "Yeah, sure you are" Dean snorts, making me glare at him.
"Did they post it yet?" I ask Sam, who then turns the laptop with the article to me and Dean, picking up his fork and stabbing his pancake. "We learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms." Dean reads off of the site as Sam nods.
"Alright. So how long do we wait?" I ask them as Sam chews his pancake. He shrugs, shutting the laptop. "Long enough for the new story to spread and the legend to change" Sam suggests, picking up his beer in a toasting manner, "I figure by nightfall, iron rounds would work on the sucker" He smirks, me and Dean pick up our beers and cheers with him. "Sweet" "Hallelujah" Me and Dean say in unison, picking up our beers and gulping them down.
When I go to rest it down I realize it's stuck to my hand, my face contorts to confusion until I see Sam with a smirk on his face, bursting into a fit of laughter, clapping because Dean couldn't put his down either. I clench my jaw in annoyance, "You didn't" Dean says. "Ohhh, I did" Sam laughs, holding up the super glue. I groan, "Dammit man, I didn't do you anything. Why did I get superglued!?" I exclaim. Sam laughs shaking his head
"You saw him throw that itching powder in my clothes and kept your trap shut, you're in this whether you like it or not crackhead" He smirks, sipping his beer. I narrow my eyes at him, "Oh, you're on dipshit" I challenge him, glaring at him. He laughs, pulling the string on the machine, as it blurs out it's annoying ass sound, laughing along with it as Dean and I try to get the bottles off our hands.
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After practically having to pry our hands off of the beer bottles Sam glued ours to. We stole that weird ass noise making machine that Dean loved playing with at the diner and turned it on outside in the woods for the cops to go looking for the noise, stalling a bit so we can run in, kill Mordechai and shag ass out of town.
The boys and I creep into the Hell House, shining our lights and aiming our guns around after bursting open the door. "I barely have an skin left on my palm" Dean complains. "Quit whining, you started this stupid prank war" I grumble back at him. "I ain't touching that line with a 10-foot pole" Sam retorts as we move into the other room. Scanning it, Dean then kicks the door to the basement down, we all file in carefully.
"Well, you think old Mordechai's home?" Dean asks us. I shrug. "I don't know" Sam responds. "Me either" A voice behind us says, scaring the tartar sauce out of me. We all quickly turn around, aiming our guns in the direction just for it to be those Hell Dorks with their stupid equipment on. "WOAH WOAH!" They both scream, putting their hands up in surrender.
We draw back our guns, "What the hell are you two dumbasses trying to do!? Are you trying to get yourselves killed!?" I yell at them angrily like a disappointed mother. "We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, okay?" Ed says shakily. Then suddenly the sounds of an axe sharpening comes from the door behind us and we all aim our guns at it
"Oh, crap" Harry mutters. "Uh, guys, you wanna...You wanna go open that door for us?" Ed asks us fearfully from behind us, gulping. "Why don't you?" Dean retorts, absolutely fed up. The door unlocking alone scares them and then, Mordechai comes bursting through the door yelling. The boys and I empty our clips into the bastard who screams in pain and disapparates into a black smoke.
Dean nods at us, giving us a look. We return the nod, "Sam, upstairs, I'll take the rooms, Y/N, stay with dumbledorks" Dean orders as they begin the check the rest of the room. "Oh, god. He's gone, he's gone" Ed gasps in shock. "Did you get him?" Harry asks him. "Yeah, they got him" Ed responds, still frightened. "No, on camera. Did you get him on camera?" Harry asks him shakily. Ed begins to fidget with the camera.
"Well, I...uh..." He tries to look but Harry grabs the camera. "Let me see it, let me see it" That's when Mordechai appears and knocks the camera out of Harry's hand. "Fuck!" I yell startled, ducking when he tries to chop me, disappearing into a black smoke again. They boys enter back the room, "Mordechais still kicking fellas" I inform them.. "Didnt you guys post that bullshit story we gave you?!" He bellows at Ed and Harry.
"Of course we did" Ed says. "Yeah but then our serves crashed" Harry adds and I roll my eyes annoyed. "So it didn't take?!" I ask him. "Uhhhh-" They stutter. "So these- These guns don't work?" Dean asks. "Yeah" Ed answers guiltily, I angrily toss my gun aside. "Great, just great" Dean mutters sarcastically.
"Fellas? Any ideas?" I ask them a bit panicked, they both give an 'I don't know' expression. "We are getting out of here" Harry says, rushing off but Ed is stuck in place. He runs back and grabs Ed. "Come on, Ed" He drags him out in a hurry. Then we hear Ed and Harry screaming. "Jesus, he's gonna kill them" I mutter, Sam goes to play hero.
Running in to save them. "Let's torch this sucker" Dean suggesst, "Yeah, fire always works" I agree nodding, we rush into the kitchen to get lighter fluid, dousing the ground it in. "Dean! Y/N!" We hear Sam yell. I grab an old can of bug spray and a lighter. "Hey!" I yell at Mordechai who has Sam up on the wall with his axe, choking him.
Igniting the lighter with the bug spray. "Go! Go!" I yell at Sam who breaks out of Mordechais hold. "Come on" I help him up, grabbing him to run over to Dean. "Look, if Mordechai can't leave the house and we can't kill him" I say quickly. "We improvise" Dean adds. He then lights the lighter and throws it where we doused the place in lighter fluid.
The whole room sets aflame. Sam looks baffled but we all run out of the house and into the bushes as the whole house sets on fire. "That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?" Sam asks us. "Well no one will go in anymore" Dean defends "I mean, look. Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt" I say. "It's fast and dirty but it works" Dean adds. "What if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?" Sam says baffled.
I pause. Why the fuck did I not think of that? "Well, then we'll just have to come back" Dean shrugs. Sam looks at us in disbelief, breathing heavily, "Kind of makes you wonder, out of all the things we've hunted. How many of those things existed just because people believed in them" Sam wonders out loud and I can't help but agree with him as we watch the house burn.
________________________________
The next evening, the boys and I are hanging out on a picnic table at the trailer park as Ed and Harry walk out towards their car that's attached to their trailer, holding grocery bags. "I was thinking that Mordechai had a really super high attack bonus" Ed says to Harry. "Dude, I got the munchies right now" Harry snickers.
"Gentleman and gorgeous" Ed greets us, a wide smile on his face. "Hey guys" Sam responds back. "Should we tell them?" Harry asks Ed. "Eh, might as well. They're gonna read about it in the trades" Ed says boastfully. Me and Sam share an amused look as they begin to brag. "So, this morning we got a phone call from some important Hollywood producers" Harry brags as we follow behind them.
"Oh yeah, wrong number?" Dean retorts with a snort. "No smartass" Ed glares at him. "He read all about the Hell House on our website and what a to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it" He says boastfully as he puts the bags in their car. "And create the RPG" Harry adds.
"The what?" Dean cocks his eyebrow in confusion as me and Sam bite back laughs. "Role playing game" Ed says as if it's obvious. "Right" Dean says, still confused. "Just a little lingo for you. Anywho, excuse us, we're off to La-La Land" Ed smirks, his eyes panning over to me.
"Well, congratulations guys. That sounds really great" Sam says sarcastically. "Yeah, that's awesome. Best of luck" Dean adds, snickering. A smug look takes over Eds face. "Oh yeah, luck. It's got nothing to do with it. It's about talent. You know, sheer, unabashed talent" He says as Harry nods proudly.
Ed then bites his lip and I roll my eyes, bracing myself. "You're welcome to jo-" He goes to flirt again. "I'd rather eat my own filth, Venkman" I snap back, narrowing my eyes at him. He shrugs nonchalantly, "Your loss, gorgeous. Later" He winks at me before giving us a peace sign, jumping into their car. Cocky bastard.
I scoff at this, not feeling bad whatsoever for setting them up. We watch as they drive off. The boys and I share an amused look as Dean mutters "Wow", while we walk back to the car. "We have a confession to make" Sam breaks, holding back his laugh. "What's that?" dean asks us, looking down smiling.
"We uh- we're the ones that called them and told them we were producers" I admit. Me and Sam chuckle as Dean looks at us shocked. Turning back to look at their car, bursting into hysterics. "Well, I'm the one who out the dead fish in their back seat" Dean confesses. I laugh loudly along with the boys. "I knew I smelt something!" I laugh as Dean grins proudly.
"Truce?" Sam ask Dean. "Yeah, truce. At least for the next hundred miles." Dean says, getting into the Impala along with Sam. "Don't worry, Princess. We won't drag you into it this time" Dean assured me, starting the car as I'm still outside. Too late for that, darling. I take a step back from the car and then BOOM!
The second the ignition starts, flour explodes inside of the Impala. Coating them all over, inside of Baby. They both cough, glaring at each other angrily. "You said truce!" Dean growls at Sam. "I didn't do this!" Sam exclaims. Their gazes snap over to me as I laugh hysterically, bending over, clutching my stomach. I pull out the flour bag from my jacket and wave it in the air victoriously.
"You didn't!" Sam exclaims. "Ohhh, I did" I mock his words from earlier when he stuck our hands to the beer bottles. Jumping in the back seat, “Victory is mine!” I claim proudly, grinning at them. "This is gonna take me forever to clean dude!" Dean groans in annoyance. "Maybe next time don't drag me into it" I shrug innocently, smirking as the boys glare at me.
This makes me laugh even more. “Awwww, turn those frowns upside down fellas. At least for the next 100 miles at least" I tease them, leaning over to fix Deans frown with my fingers. I notice he holds back a laugh, Sam shakes his head in amusement.
________________________________
Authors Note: Hiiiii, sorry this one took be a bit longer. I went on a trip recently so I’ve been pretty busy but I hope you guys enjoyed this one. This chapter is unedited but I do plan on coming back and editing it so just ignore any mistakes. Just a little insider, Y/N’s flour prank was symbolic to Sam’s cookie prank when they were 13. Let’s just say, she’s still salty about that one LOL. Make sure to leave your honest comments and thoughts, I look forward to them, love y’all😘
Xoxo
#dean winchester#sam winchester#spn#supernatural#dean and sam#sam and dean#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#dean x reader#supernatural reader insert#supernatural fandom#supernatural tv show#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester x female!reader#supernatural series rewrite
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