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cheonstapes · 5 months

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miguel o’hara stars in… ‘THE SWEETER THE JUICE’ o(^-^)o

･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡. miguel o’hara x reader .｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･

SMUT

now he’s finally got you pregnant, he’s gonna do what he’s been dreaming of all these years. suck. those. tits.

same universe as this miguel.

cw; lactation kink, pregnancy, breeding kink (not really but yknow me), dry humping, titties, older nerd!miguel, they’re finally married!

800+ words

@cheonstapes : she’s back! again!

if miguel had to pick a part of your body he loved the most, it’d definitely be your tits.

if you think he was obsessed before — you don’t wanna know what goes through his head as he watches you waddle around his house, carrying his kid, sighing every time you leak through another shirt. you had forgone a bra ever since you got pregnant, saying how uncomfortable they feel against your chest — not that he was complaining.

“for fucks-sake, again?”

he was so used to hearing you say that, he already had a shirt on hand for you to change into. you were so grateful for your doting husband that you completely missed that nasty glint in his eyes you usually only see when he’s bending you over the bed and fucking you raw — luckily for him.

“here, honey. lift your arms for me.”

as you do, he pulls the shirt up — the soiled fabric catching under your swollen breasts as he wiggles it off you. “ah, shit — thanks, baby. but fuck, am i’m so tired of changing shirts every 10 minutes!” you might be tired, but miguel cannot get enough of it. he was already so fucking hard, practically salivating at the sight of your bare breasts still leaking down your heavy belly.

“maybe you should just ditch the shirts all together, love — you know i hate seeing my beautiful wife uncomfortable.” miguel’s voice was a soft whisper in your ear, lips slowly tracing down the side of your jaw to your sensitive neck — kissing the skin so tenderly. his calloused hands gently massaged the taut flesh of your tits, probing and squeezing at your nipples to let out small trickles of that sweet milk.

“migs, how many times are you gonna say that?”

“as many as it takes for you to finally listen.”

the breathy laugh you let out did little to qualm the feeling deep in his gut — he was dead serious, there was absolutely no reason for you to be in shirts all the time when you have him to take care of you whenever you needed a good milking. his hips were already sinking into to the plush of your ass that he loved oh-so-much — especially with how much fatter it got during your pregnancy.

it was almost as if he had lost control of his body, a hand landing on your waist to bend you over the counter as he mindlessly ruts into you. “dios, nena, eres tan hermosa. vas a ser la mamá más guapa, ¿verdad? mm, my pretty, little mama.” miguel never failed to turn you on to no bounds, like, you have a walking greek god as a husband — but those fucking hormones were making it unbearable.

the force at which he was pushing against you had shifted your drenched panties to the side, leaving practically nothing between you and his drooling bulge. his fingers tightened around the fat of your hips, squeezing the flesh delicious hard as his free hand flipped you over — pushing your back against the edge of the counter. “shit…been waiting to taste these all fucking day, honey.”

mindful of your growing belly, he hiked one of your legs up on his hip — craning his neck down to suck on a pert nipple. wasting no time, and at a much better angle, he continued to grind against you — his tip catching against your engorged clit. “m—migs, baby, fuck…” the way he swirled and sucked so eagerly reminded you of when you first started dating, how determined he was to knock you up before the two of you even moved in together.

the taste was so addicting, some of your milk trickling down his body — dripping onto the ground beneath you. you knew he was about to cum, hard — his eyes had rolled back, breathing in heavy pants, hands rushing to pull down the waistband of his sweats. “gonna paint my girls in my cum, love — sé una buena chica y mantenlos juntos para mí.”

“‘course, baby.” you nodded breathlessly, squishing the globes of fat together as he pumped his cock dry — head thrown back as ropes upon ropes of his hot seed coated your tits, sliding into the self-made crevice. “god, what did i do in my past life to have a wife as sexy as you, mamí?” his spent cock bobbed against his thigh as he trapped you against the counter — kissing you deeply as his wet hands reaching up to rub the cum into the skin of your breasts.

“mmph — y’know, i heard cum’s good for the skin. it, uh, helps with the blood circulation in your tits — i think we should do this more often, love.”

“migs, if you weren’t, like — a whole scientist, i might’ve believed you. if you want a titjob, just say that.”

“…i mean, you said it — not me.”

all your home shirts were promptly locked away and never to be seen again.

-new year, new waiting for cheon to get her shit together andpost!

#cheonstapes #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara headcanons #miguel smut #miguel o’hara smut #cheonstapes films!🪷#miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel ohara x you #nerd miguel smut #nerd miguel

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sstormyskyess · 27 days

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Still Woozy

author's note: i was listening to my still woozy playlist and got the inspo to write some headcanons based on the songs i thought fit the boys! also wanted to write my first piece with alejandro so here it is 👍 [side note: all the songs refer to a woman/fem listener but for the sake of this, the reader is gn!]

cw: nothing, just fluff!

word count: 800+

TF-141 + Alejandro x GN!Reader

Simon “Ghost” Riley [Cooks]

♡ Ghost is a little clueless when it comes to romance and the things that come with it, having been in a toxic home for his younger years. Most of his ideas about romantic relationships come from the very few movies/shows featuring happy couples he’s seen, so his ideas on how to handle a real relationship are scarce and sometimes a bit misconstrued.

♡ But once he finds the one he loves, he’s ready and willing to try his best at figuring things out as he goes. Regardless, he’ll still be fairly lost in the early stages of a relationship.

♡ But don’t get it mistaken—if he’s in a relationship, he’s absolutely head over heels in love, and he’ll do his very best to keep everything working smoothly, even if that means messing up every now and then. He would rather die than hurt you, so be prepared for him to be asking a ton of questions; you may need to reassure him frequently to remind him that just him trying is enough.

John “Soap” MacTavish [Get By]

♡ Soap is a bit of a goofball in a committed romantic relationship, but it’s all for the sake of his partner because he lives to see them happy more than anything else.

♡ He loves to see you happy and practically any time he notices you not feeling your best, he’ll do what he can to bring your spirits up, whether that be taking you out on a nice, fancy date or just staying in and getting you to spare some time for yourself. He has a special place in his mind to remember all of the things that make you smile, like your favorite foods/restaurants and the media you like to engage with.

♡ As referenced in the song, though, he’s made a fool of himself for the sake of cheering you up a few times. It makes you feel bad, but it is quite funny watching him do the silliest things to make you laugh.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick [Get Down]

♡ Gaz is a very dedicated partner and he would do damn near anything for them. He’s made it clear to you on multiple occasions that he can handle pampering you with anything you please, even if you tell him you don’t want to overwork him.

♡ He’s by no means a materialistic person, but he loves to spend his money on you. When he’s on leave, he loves taking you on vacations, big or small. He’ll buy you any little thing you may have your eyes on or have mentioned wanting in the past, because what else will he do with the money he gets from his job? After all, before you came into his life, he was a fairly frugal man, only spending money on what’s really necessary. Now, though, you’re his only real necessity, meaning you get spoiled one way or another.

♡ He also loves it when you get clingy and adores when you’re all over him like your life depends on it. It never gets overbearing for him and he wouldn’t trade the world for your love and attention.

John Price [Wolfcat]

♡ Despite being a rigidly authoritative person outside his home, when Price is alone with his partner in the safety of his own home, he is absolutely whipped. He’s a homebody at heart and he loves filling a domestic role in his intimate relationships.

♡ He’s most certainly a quality time enjoyer and he spends a good amount of time planning little activities for the two of you to engage in while he’s home on leave. He’ll try to mask it as him simply trying to keep himself occupied in place of the strict schedule he’s accustomed to on base, but it’s obvious to anyone that knows him well enough that he’s obsessed with being by your side.

♡ Not to mention, he loves a partner that can put him in his place when needed, since he knows he can be a little headstrong and stubborn. Disagreements turn into arguments, but he knows when to shut up with you because you’re very good at reminding him that he’s not invulnerable to being wrong.

Alejandro Vargas [Habit]

♡ Alejandro is a romantic man even if his work often comes first. But, if he had it his way, he would be spending all his waking moments with his partner. His carefully manufactured distance between his work and family has him feeling insecure about the stability of his relationships, but he always comes back to you, no matter what happens.

♡ He doesn’t fall in love quickly, always wanting to make sure that he’s making a sound decision on who he’s going to lavish with his affections. But he’ll be glued to you once he’s finally comfortable in his choice to settle down with you. He doesn’t do frivolity; everything he does is done with purpose and his love life is no different.

♡ He’ll also put in extra effort for you to have a good support system while he’s away so you never feel lonely, likely with his family. He has plenty of family to go around and he’ll use that to his advantage to keep you comfortable even without him in your presence.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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amhrosina · 1 year

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Your Pretty Heart (Billy Russo x f!Reader)

A/N: Anyone else widely obsessed with Pedro Pascal and The Last of Us right now? Being back in my Pedro era feels like getting home after a long ass trip. Should I write for some of Pedro's characters?? SOS! Also, I hit 800 followers today??? Like what??? Thank you to everyone who supports me and this account!!

Request: ex’s to lovers with Billy Russo or Matt Murdock. Where Frank and Karen “help” Billy/Matt get their ass together to get back with Reader. Because come on their clearly still in lovee.

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: When you and Billy break up, Karen takes it upon herself to get you back together. Her plan comes to a head one night at Josie’s, and you and Billy must face the consequences of loving and leaving one another.

(Warnings: so much angst, cursing, Billy is a soft!boy at heart, soft!Billy, descriptions of smut (but like romantic descriptions, not graphic ones??), I think that’s it, it’s literally just really sad until the end lol)

“You look great.” Your date smiled, but he wasn’t looking at your face. Instead, for the third time in less than a minute, his eyes trailed the sloping curve of your cleavage as it disappeared into your dress. You shrugged his gaze off, hoping there was at least something interesting about him to keep you entertained for the evening. Something could be there. Deep, deep, down, but there, nonetheless.

“So, Brad, what do you do for work? When Karen set this up, she didn’t tell me much about you.”

“I’m an accountant.”

Brad nodded his head along with yours, an awkward bob as you waited for him to return the question. He didn’t, instead choosing to fix his gaze on the jazz singer across the restaurant. Zero for two, Brad.

“Do you, uh, have any hobbies?” You tried again to break the conversation dam, but Brad’s attention was so far away from the table you were sharing that he barely glanced at you when he responded.

“I jog sometimes.”

“Oh!” You lurched forward, desperate to grab onto anything that might make this date less awkward. “I like to jog, too. I’ll listen to books when I do it to pass the time. Do you read at all?”

Brad’s eyes flicked to yours, then back to the jazz singer. Uninterested, bored, and inconvenienced. That’s what his glance told you.

“People who need books or music when they run aren’t capable of self-reflection. It’s how you grow as a human being, you know? You should try it.”

You blinked. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? A pompous, arrogant, prick seemed like the winning description, and you chuckled as you looped your purse handle over your shoulder.

“Well, Brad.” You stood from your seat, drawing his attention away from the band. “Congratulations. You win. I think this is quite possibly the worst date I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot.”

You didn’t deem him with an explanation as you exited the restaurant, but a vivid memory flashed in your mind of Billy standing you up on your anniversary last year. Yeah, that date was terrible, but at least Billy hadn’t insulted you after standing you up. He’d spent weeks apologizing with flowers, jewelry, and even cutting down on his time at Anvil so he could spend more time with you, but that date would always stick out in your mind as the beginning of the end.

You shook the thoughts from your head, digging through your purse to find your cellphone. Karen was going to explain where the fuck she met this guy, and why she thought setting him up with you would be a good idea. She picked up on the second ring.

“Karen.” You tapped your foot on the sidewalk. “What the fuck?”

“Hey! How was the date?”

Wherever Karen was, it was loud. You could barely understand her through the speaker, muffled by music and what sounded like a crowd of people in the background.

“The date was so bad.” You almost whined. Almost stomped your foot at how unfair the dating world had become. Almost thought about how much easier it was when you were with Billy. “Where did you even meet this guy?”

“At work. Was he an asshole?” She sounded apologetic, but the volume at which she had to scream her question into the phone made the entire interaction feel a little less impactful.

“Grade-A Asshole.” You groaned. “Where are you?”

“I’m at Josie’s, but-”

“Great. I’m on my way.”

You hung up the phone before she could respond and hailed a taxi. You felt a little guilty for barging in on her evening. Karen was a good friend, one that you’d clung to since you and Billy had gone your separate ways, and she deserved a night out without your moping. But the nagging feeling rolling around in the pit of your stomach told you exactly the reason you had to go to Josie’s. If you didn’t go hang out with Karen, you’d end up calling Billy, and the last thing you wanted to do was let him see you after a shitty date. You climbed into the taxi and hoped you could drink away the memories of tonight with Karen once you arrived at Josie’s.

Billy took a hefty sip of his beer as he eavesdropped on Karen’s phone conversation. Technically, it wasn’t eavesdropping if Karen had whacked him on the arm the second her phone started ringing, but it made Billy uncomfortable anyways. What they’d planned felt too much like a trick, and he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.

“She’s on her way.” Karen grinned, raising her beer in the air to clink bottles with him.

Billy fiddled with the bottle in his hand, unsure if there was anything to be ‘cheersing’ to.

“C’mon, Bill,” Frank grunted, meeting Karen’s still outstretched arm, “It worked. She’s on her way. Now, all you have to do is be a lesser asshole than her date.”

“Don’t you think she’ll be furious when she finds out her entire evening was construed by her ex-boyfriend and best friends? She doesn’t even want to see me.”

“Trust me, Billy,” Karen angled her head for emphasis, “She does. She just won’t admit it.”

“How do you know, though?”

“I see it on her face, and hear it in her voice, and she’s still sleeping on my couch. And you know what that tells me?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “What does that tell you, Karen?”

Karen’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That she’s not looking for another apartment. That she still has hope that she’ll be able to go home, to your apartment.”

Billy shook his head. “The market is insane. Maybe she just can’t find an affordable one.”

“I saw three listed in the paper this morning. She’s not looking, Billy. She misses you.”

Billy groaned, dragging his hands over his face. This entire situation was completely and totally fucked, and it was completely and totally his fault. He’d always been warned that his ambition would get the best of him. You’d slipped through his fingers so quickly that he got whiplash when he thought about the end of the relationship. It was like you were there one day and gone the next, and he had no idea how he ended up alone, stranded in his kitchen in the middle of the night because the idea of going to bed without you hurt too much.

“What if it’s too late? What if I can’t fix it?”

“All you can do is try, Bill.” Frank shrugged.

“She loves you.” Karen spoke firmly, tapping her finger on the table, “And you love her. But she needs to know that. You have to show her that you love her.”

“How? I thought I was doing that before.” Billy let out a disgruntled breath and cleared his throat.

“Your priorities need to change. She deserves better than last-minute cancellations and rescheduled dates. You’re your own boss, Billy. You make the rules, and no matter how much money you spend on her, or how many gifts you buy her, she’s always going to remember the times that you didn’t show up.”

Billy nodded. Karen was right, as usual. There’d been a significant change in the amount of time Billy was spending at Anvil, sometimes returning home early in the morning, only to change suits and leave again. It wasn’t your fault – it never was – but Billy couldn’t help himself from falling back into his old patterns. When shit got too real, he retreated, and it ended up costing him the most important thing in his life.

Tonight was his chance to fix everything – to bring you home, to remind you that he adored you, to show you that his life was falling apart without you in it. All he had to do was get you to listen, and he was sure everything else would fall into place.

You took three steps into the bar before swiveling around and marching out in a dramatic fashion. Cursing Karen for conveniently forgetting to mention that Billy was with her, you tried not to stomp down the sidewalk that led to Karen’s apartment. If you had an apartment of your own, you’d surely be stomping your way there instead.

You didn’t make it far before you heard your name being called behind you. Two distinct voices trailed you, but you were more focused on the lack of the third. Had he stayed behind at the bar? You swung around, almost slamming into Frank’s chest. Karen was a few steps behind him, and behind her, stood beautiful and broken Billy, hands in his pants pockets.

“What?” You screeched, eyes flickering between the group.

“I just wanted to tell you thaaaat,” Karen’s eyes twinkled, and you should’ve known that she was about to make your night go from bad to worse, “I’m going back to my apartment with my boyfriend, who is going to do very loud things to me for hours. If I were you, I’d steer clear of the whole block tonight.”

You rolled your eyes and looked at Frank, whose innocent expression gave away Karen’s plan faster than you could piece it together. Clearly, this coup had been planned, and they were leaving you with no option but to spend time with Billy.

“Is that so?” You narrowed your eyes at her, hoping she could read every nasty thought you’d ever had about her in your gaze.

“Yep!” She hooked an arm through Frank’s and tugged him down the sidewalk. “See you tomorrow!”

You watched them until they turned a corner, and you could no longer see them. When you turned to face Billy again, he had inched closer to you, standing a heady meter away with his hands still in his pockets.

“Did you plan this?”

The anger in your voice echoed across the concrete, slamming into Billy. He grasped his chest as if you’d shot him in the heart.

“No. I didn’t even know there was a plan until I showed up at Josie’s earlier.”

You hesitated to believe him, but something in the way he was looking at you told you to trust him. You looked him up and down, focusing on the way he looked worse than you’d ever seen him. For a brief second, you felt triumph over it. He deserved this after everything he did to you. He deserved to feel like shit. The triumph faded faster than it came, and an overwhelming sadness replaced the ire thoughts you were having about him.

There were bags under his eyes, and you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. He never did when he couldn’t sleep with you. The facial hair that he usually kept so neat and maintained had grown beyond his usual boundaries, and the fact that he kept subconsciously scratching at it told you he didn’t like it. You tried not to let it get to you. You probably looked like shit, too.

“How’ve you been?” His focus remained wholly on you. You rubbed the back of your neck to try and shake off his stare.

“We don’t have to do this, Bil.” You looked at the ground, focusing on the crack in the concrete that crawled its way across the sidewalk, drawing a line inbetween you and Billy. You couldn’t decide if that was fitting, or incredibly sad. Maybe it was both.

“We’re not doing anything.” He shook his head innocently.

“You know what I mea-”

“Come home.”

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation as the two of you eyed each other.

“Billy, I-”

“Just for tonight. Until Karen’s apartment is...safe again.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, searching for an ulterior motive. And of course, there was an ulterior motive. You couldn’t blame him for it, because you knew if the roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You shook your head, more towards yourself than at him.

“Why not?” He cocked his head to the side.

“You know why.”

He nodded but shrugged his shoulders anyways.

“I’m not going to leave you out here with nowhere to go. It’s either the apartment, or we spend the next few hours in awkward silence at a diner.”

The apartment. Not ‘my’ apartment. He didn’t consider it his when you weren’t there to claim the other half of it. You couldn’t lie to yourself. You wanted so badly to go with him, to see the home that you’d built with him. You wanted so badly to see how he’d faired over the last month without you. It was with all this in mind, and not how much you missed him, that had you nodding, agreeing to go home. Just for a visit, you repeated in your mind, just for a visit.

When you stepped into what was once the living room you shared with Billy, you were struck with an overwhelming sense of familiarity. There was nothing different about it, except that the bookshelf was a little less stuffed than usual. You’d grabbed your favorites on your way out, unable to part with them, even just for a little bit.

“Can I get you some wine?” Billy asked, already heading toward the kitchen to pour himself a glass. You nodded, shrugging your jacket off and trying to ignore the strangeness of being treated like a guest in the home that you’d lived in for years.

When Billy returned with two particularly full glasses, you plopped down on the couch. You didn’t know how to act, or what to say, or who to be when you were around him anymore and falling back into old habits seemed like a grand way to get your feelings hurt again.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” Billy took a swig from his glass, sitting on the armchair across from the couch. You silently thanked the universe that he had put distance between the two of you. The closer he was, the less clearly you could think.

“Which one?”

“How’ve you been?”

“Oh.” You took a sip, only because it gave you something to do with your hands. “I’ve been alright.”

He smiled, but the corners of his mouth didn’t reach his eyes. Anyone who looked at you longer than two seconds could see that you’re clearly not doing alright, but you’d grown comfortable living in denial, and you weren’t going to admit how not alright you were.

“Heard your date didn’t go well.”

You scoffed. Maybe it was the wine, or the way he looked smug about the fact that you’d had a shitty date, but you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.

“Fuck you, Billy. It’s none of your business.”

Billy looked startled by your outburst. You gulped down another mouthful of wine before rubbing your hand down your face.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay. I probably deserve it.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

“What happened to us?” You asked, gazing at the ceiling.

“You tell me, sunflower. You’re the one that left.”

Your heart ached at the nickname. It wasn’t fair that he used it, especially when you were clearly in a vulnerable mood, but you cherished it anyways.

“You left first.”

It was barely a whisper, said so quietly that you weren’t quite sure he had heard you. If the palpable tension that followed wasn’t indicative of his acknowledgment, the deep sigh that erupted from his chest soon after was indication enough. He stayed quiet, swirling the remaining wine in his glass around in small circles.

You stared at him, unflinching in your assessment of his body language. He didn’t look as miserable as you felt, and a spark of anger ignited in your belly because of it.

“Did you ever really love me, Bil?” You barked. It was bait, and both of you knew it. You’d never questioned his love for you, and he knew you were trying to get a rise out of him, but he couldn’t help stepping up to the plate and taking the bait.

“What kind of fucking question is that?” He watched you closely. You tried not to let your triumph show on your face. “Of course, I love you.”

He stood from his seat and rested his hands on his hips, willing you to do the same. Meet him where he stood, he dared, show him how much you still care. You were nothing if not a daredevil. You joined him in the middle of the room, pressing your index finger into his chest.

“Well then, what the fuck happened?”

“You. Tell. Me.” He gritted from between clenched teeth.

Billy wasn’t being fair to you, and he knew it. You were asking a valid question, and he was cowering behind the anger and frustration in the room.

“I can’t do this again, Bil.” You turned, reaching for your purse. A heavy tug on your elbow had you crashing into Billy’s chest, where he enveloped his arms around you and pulled you into a crushing hold.

“You’re not leaving, are you?”

There was a softness in his voice that tugged at your heartstrings. For a moment, you forgot you were speaking to a grown man and not an orphaned little boy. You blew a long breath out before shaking your head. He rested his forehead against your shoulder.

“No, Bil. I’m not leaving.”

“I always knew I’d end up breaking your pretty heart.” His voice was muffled by your shoulder, but you didn’t miss the slight crack in his words. “I knew I’d fuck it up eventually.”

“I don’t understand what happened. Everything was fine, and then it wasn’t.” You blinked away the tears that had built up on your waterline.

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”

You cupped his face as he dropped to his knees in front of you. His eyes, now red-rimmed and glassy, pleaded with you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from lowering your body next to his.

“What’s going on?” You asked him, eyes flickering between his fast-blinking eyelids and rapidly shaking hands.

“I was afraid.” He cleared his throat. “Am. I am afraid.”

“Of what? Where is this coming from?” You gaped. You knew Billy struggled with commitment more than most – it had taken him almost a year of serious dating before he could tell you he loved you – but you thought he had moved past that.

“Tom’s getting married.”

Your brow furrowed. “What does Tom have to do with us?”

“Tom’s getting married, and all I can think about is how I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give that to you, and how you deserve someone who can give you everything you want and more.”

You let his words sink into your chest, dissecting every interaction you’d had with him leading up to your breakup. It had been a slow descent, and when it finally became too much, you’d left with no clue how you ended up alone and sleeping on Karen’s couch every night.

“Billy,” You shuttered, shaking your head as tears began to travel down your cheeks, “I never said I wanted any of that.”

“It’s what you deserve.”

“But it’s not what I want. Why couldn’t you see that I was happy with the way things were?”

“I was terrified that you’d leave me. And then I became a shit boyfriend, and you really did leave me, and it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You wiped the tears from under your eyes and sniffled. “You weren’t always a shit boyfriend.”

Billy snorted, letting a small smile cross his face as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Can you ever forgive me, sunflower?”

You considered his question. If you were being completely honest, you’d forgiven him as soon as you saw his pretty, brown eyes across the bar earlier, so sad and searching for you.

“Can you promise that you’ll tell me when you’re feeling like this again, instead of shutting me out?” You cupped his cheek, eyes flicking down to his lips and then back up to his eyes.

“I can promise that I’ll try.” He swallowed, searching your expression. “Is that enough?”

You lurched forward, pressing your lips to his. The kiss tasted of red wine and salt, and you were suddenly grateful that you’d slumped to the floor earlier instead of waiting until now, when your knees were weak and shaking with anticipation.

“I love you.” Billy mumbled inbetween kisses.

“Show me.” You responded, opening yourself to him for the first time in over a month.

He took you right there on the living room floor, a flurry of intertwined limbs, swollen lips, and skin brushing skin. His lips only left yours long enough to whisper praises against your neck before returning to yours in a bruising kiss. When you came apart underneath him, you couldn’t stop the tears from forming, but he didn’t mind. He kissed the tears away, apologies in their own right, as he continued showing you how much he loved you.

Later on, after hours of reconciliation and apologies, you collapsed next to Billy on the couch. You’d lost your clothes a long time ago, only covered with the throw blanket you’d purchased the year before on a whim, and you watched as he sighed in quiet contemplation.

“We should tell Karen and Frank that their plan worked.” You rested your head on his shoulder. He smiled, pulling you into his chest.

“Let them figure it out on their own. They’ll come around at some point tomorrow when you still haven’t gone back.”

He was right. The next morning, when Karen and Frank knocked on the door, you and Billy were still cuddled together on the couch, so worn out from the night before that you hadn’t been able to muster up the energy to move to the bedroom. You took one glance at Billy before you were on him again, uncaring that your friends were waiting. That’s fine, you thought, let them wait. Let them wait.

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @deliciousfestsalad @lilyevans1 @imagineadream @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout @purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @emiemiemiii @messymissy @mossexe @fictional-hooman @oeuryale @violet-19999 @quackson03 @husherstan @dumb-fawkin-bitch @sweetserendipity65 @americaarse @lazyxsquirrel @anastasianeedstoread @mxxnligxt

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winkk-koo · 3 months

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For me the ship appeal for shuangshui comes from the following:

Both of them are big brothers who'd do anything to protect their little siblings

If the roles were reversed HX would have done the same to save his sister

"Have you no remorse" if HX truly only hated him why would he care if swd felt bad about what he did? He's invested in the outcome and was desperate for an apology and acknowledgement of his feelings (which SWD only denied him because SQX was at risk)

HX saw SWD's face at death and that's what kept him bound to this world instead of passing on

After killing SWD, if HX was satisfied in his revenge his soul should have dissipated, but he's still here

You can argue this is bc of SQX, but ghosts can't change their obsession, or the resentment tying them to this world, and a ghost king has the strongest obsession of all

Shuangshui as a foil for hualian, basically what happens when you dedicate your existence to hate instead of love (which is, after all, the function of bw arc in the novel)

They don't have a chance in canon since it's very one sided, HX's obsession for a guy who doesn't even know who he is, but that's the tragic appeal of it, destroying the person you should have loved with your own hands, because you refused to understand your own heart, and dooming your soul to wander, unsatisfied, forever

And maybe if things had been different, Shi Wudu could have loved the soft, sensitive Scholar He, who would sacrifice it all for his sibling too

There's a lot of lost potential to explore, in another universe I would have loved to do laundry and taxes with you

Who is being so poetic in my asks!!!!!

Bro wrote amazing character analysis and expects to just get away with it

______________________________________

I really did not think of the actual meaning of both being water themed and why He Xuan Specifically chose this . And now that you say it i find it really interesting

Arrrh and the fact his calamity name is Black Water Sinking Ships when Shi Wudu does the same thing with ships that don't send him offerings before sailing 😭😭

He really copied that man he was supposed to hate everything about

(I also took a break from tgcf right after black water arc to start reading svsss so i didn't take into account that he might still be around. But thats really tragic he dedicated like 800? Years to his revenge and he wasn'teven satisfied with it and since the source of his suffering is basically gone he can't do anything about it now right)

I also- forgor to press "post" on this yesterday

#shuangshui #he xuan #shi wudu #black water arc #tgcf shi wudu #black water sinking ships #mxtx tgcf #tgcf

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letteredlettered · 28 days

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Lest you think I only have good things to say about TGCF forever--well, that's ultimately true but I'm also ultimately annoyed about the treatment of Hua Cheng as a character.

Listen. Wanting to put your god on a pedestal and lick the floor for him/die for him/efface your entire self for him AND fuck him through the floor/violate every part of his body until he begs for mercy/tease him and embarrass him so much he can't stand his own skin AND live as BFF husbands on somewhat even footing are three very different things.

I want to see how Hua Cheng reconciles being quite honestly ready to murder the first person in sight because Xie Lian had some slight question about his devotion to his god's cause, with purposely embarrassing him and teasing him and calling him gege. But we don't really get anything about his private thoughts? He is never presented as having inner conflicts, other than regret that Xie Lian has suffered pain?

Like, there is a suggestion that he knows his obsession with Xie Lian and the ways in which he is obsessed could be seen as creepy and freakish, but it gets washed away when Xie Lian says it doesn't bother him and still wants to kiss him. There are several demonstrations of his self-loathing, and yet it doesn't get aired like everyone else's dirty laundry does.

And then there's the part where you find out that Hua Cheng has sacrificed a part of his body rather than any part of a group of humans who were doomed to die anyway. And you know that this is a huge deal for him, because the whole reason he was with those humans at Mt Tonglu was so that he could be strong enough to come back to Xie Lian and protect him. Except we also know that again, Hua Cheng had no compunction about helping Xie Lian commit genocide and regocide and countless murders; like he had no interest or respect for human life at all when it came to doing whatever Xie Lian bid him to do. So it's in fact a huge fucking deal that in the end, Hua Cheng would rather hurt himself than anybody else, except that is not really explored in the novel.

I mean, you can say that the only reason Hua Cheng-as-Wuming didn't care about murders was that Xie Lian wanted the murders, which made the murders all justified in Wuming's mind, and, that since Xie Lian wasn't there at Mt Tonglu, Hua Cheng just had to go with his own instincts instead of Xie Lian wanting murders, so in the end Hua Cheng's own instinct was self-sacrifice. You could also say, I guess, that Hua Cheng hated his eye anyway so it's not the same sort of sacrifice it would have been had it been another body part.

But even if that's the case, I'd want it to be explored. Like, isn't it likely that Hua Cheng chose self-sacrifice because he knew Xie Lian would choose self-sacrifice, because he knew that a Xie Lian not driven mad with grief and pain would not want to harm others to further his own cause? At the same time, Hua Cheng is not shown to make choices that will align with Xie Lian's values at other parts in the book. In fact, Hua Cheng consciously and purposely makes choices that he thinks could or even would disgust Xie Lian, because it's more important to Hua Cheng to make those choices if they protect and preserve Xie Lian than it is for Hua Cheng to make choices that would make Xie Lian look at him fondly or proudly. So, it's such a big deal that deep down, Hua Cheng does want to care about and protect others, even people who aren't Xie Lian, but it's just mentioned in passing at almost the very end and never explored.

And then these 800 years, what was Hua Cheng even doing? I mean, I get it, it takes a lot of time to carve ten thousand statues, especially the ones where you need to get his cock just right for....reasons, but I thought we were going to get some kind of explanation of what he did during this time. Why did he decide to finally approach Xie Lian when he did? Like, I think the conversation between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng-as-the-little-ghost-fire is supposed to explain part of why Hua Cheng stayed away for so long--XL says "if your beloved knows you couldn't find peace just because you wanted to protect them, wouldn't they feel guilty?" And the ghost says that then he would just protect his beloved from afar.

But was Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian? Because it seems like Xie Lian getting trampled to death (as "General" Hua) and then getting killed and buried in a coffin (as State Preceptor Fengxin) is not very protective? Like, Hua Cheng did a bad job there.

It seems like the fics I'm reading are going with the idea that Hua Cheng couldn't find Xie Lian. Hua Cheng does say he did search for Xie Lian and couldn't find him, but we know this is a bald-faced lie. Hua Cheng says this when Xie Lian asks him if Hua Cheng ever saw him outside of Xianle, because Xie Lian has become concerned that Hua Cheng saw his downfall after his banishment and his descent into genocidal madness before his second ascension. But we know that Hua Cheng did see that, which means Hua Cheng is very much lying about not being able to find Xie Lian after the fall of Xianle.

But sure, you can posit that after Hua Cheng-as-Wuming almost disperses all the way and then comes back, he can't find Xie Lian again. I think you can also assume that Wuming's dispersal is more total and complete than Hua Cheng's dispersal after he breaks Xie Lian's shackles, so I think you can easily posit that it takes Hua Cheng at least a century to return as a complete person after Xie Lian's second ascension/banishment. And I can imagine that even after fully returning amassing wealth and power takes time, but here's where I get stumped--Hua Cheng is does not read as someone who would sit around and wait to have enough wealth and power to protet Xie Lian before trying to protect Xie Lian. I imagine that the first thing he does as soon as he can like, move independently in the world is look for him, even if only to help him from afar. And yet, as previously stated...Xie Lian really didn't seem like he got much help in those 800 years.

Perhaps we can assume that once Xie Lian ascends (why does he ascend the third time? Never addressed? Also annoyed about this) Black Water/Earth Master/He Xuan now can report on Xie Lian's exact whereabouts, but there's still no good explanation for why super over-powered Hua Cheng would not be able to find Xie Lian for 800 years. I mean, it's not exactly a needle in a haystack here. Xie Lian is a singular person. Just follow disaster, honestly. I guess Hua Cheng didn't know about the shackle on Xie Lian's luck, but he has figured out a lot of Xie Lian's past, right? I don't understand why he hasn't figured that out.

(And another thing--does Hua Cheng even know why Xie Lian got banished the second time? Does he even know that Xie Lian asked for the shackles? Doesn't he want to know everything he possibly can about Xie Lian? If he's unwilling to ask, I'd understand, but again--everyone else's dirty laundry gets out there, but here there's this thing that is so central to Hua Cheng's and Xie Lian's relationship, unexplored.)

My problem isn't that Hua Cheng lives and exists for Xie Lian. That's who he is, and I think I wouldn't like or love him as a character if I thought he needed to have more in his life than his single-minded devotion. But single-minded devotion can contain a lot more dimension and conflict than I think ultimately got explored, and there are and some super salient events in his life that are really defining moments. It makes him feel a lot more one-dimensional than I feel like the character is set up to be.

The fic so far honestly gives him a more interesting treatment, imo. He's a lot more tortured about whether to fuck or worship and how to do both, which I guess I'm ultimately saying is what I really want from that character. I find him deeply lovable, interesting, and fascinating, I just didn't think the book really spent time with the most interesting parts of him.

#hua cheng #tgcf

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niabang · 6 months

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The Summer it Came True

Pairing: Bangchan × black female reader named Kel

Summary: You loved him, and you never got to tell him, but now he's back.

It had been about 13 years since Chan left Australia to Korea to pursue his dreams of being a K-pop idol. He left the day you wanted to tell him how you felt about him. You woke up and got ready to see him only to realise that he was gone. He left just like that, no explanation, no call, no text, not even a letter. He was just gone.

You had no idea what he left for, and you received a rude awakening when you saw him performing with a couple of other boys on stage on TV after years of not having a trace of him. You already forgot about him (you didn't), so why did he have to show up now? Why was he even more handsome than before, and more importantly, why was he coming back to Australia?

You thought you had gotten over him but why did you still have feelings for him?

Disclamer: this work is from my imagination and it does not reflect the artist's behaviour in anyway. It's fiction so a lot of things may be a tad bit unrealistic lol. I will be posting this in parts/chapters. Chan is still an idol in this but I kind of left out the outside/idol world in this fic.

A/N: The first few chapters may seem kind of boring, but y'all have to stick with me, okay? I wanted to make this kind of slow burn, so if you stick with me for long enough, the story gets more interesting and a little spicy as we go along. i promise ♡.

Genres: Romance, fluff

Chapter 1

Word Count: 800

It was almost summer, meaning it was time for you to start getting ready to move into the beach house that your parents left you before they died. You were an only child, so everything they owned automatically became yours, they died when you were legal so you had no issues with the law on acquiring the properties including the million dollar clothing industry they left you.

How did you deal with your parents dying in a car crash and becoming the ceo of a company overnight at the age of 20? People tend to ask. The answer is: you don't know. You're 26 now, 6 years seemed to fly by like days, and you became more and more invested in the company, you grew to love it. You had no time for a lot of friends or romance as you were always working.

Maybe you didn't have time for romance because my heart still belonged to him. Your heart still belonged to Chan, the boy who vanished into thin air the day you wanted to confess your feelings for him. Call it an obsession. It probably was, but you hadn't been able to get him out of your head for years now, and you didn't know why.

Every time you thought about that day, you almost got tears in your eyes. You were only 13. He was your first love. How could he just leave like that without telling you anything?

Then you realised. He didn't owe you anything. Hell, you barely even spoke. Why did you feel so entitled? You guys were acquaintances at best. The last time you remember having an actual conversation with him was when your two families met on the beach one summer when you were twelve, and you were both forced to play together.

Other than that, it was just a simple "hey" or a wave every time you saw each other in school or in the neighbourhood. You weren't exactly the best of friends. You just had this embarrassingly huge crush on this man who probably didn't even remember your name.

You were supposed to be packing up your things to leave the suburbs of Sydney to your house on the beachside where you would take a break from the office while still working but this time with the serenity of an ocean view and the calming sound of the ocean waves. You were really looking forward to it.

For some reason, you weren't really in the mood to get packing, so you jumped on your bed and tuned the TV to an entertainment channel, and that was when you received the biggest shock of your life.

It was HIM. He was right there on your screen. The boy - wait, he was a man now. The man you couldn't shake off your heart and your mind was right there on your screen after twelve years of disappearing, and he was as beautiful as ever...

...

After getting over the shock of your life that day, you did a little research, and you found out that he was a K-pop idol in an eight member band called "Stray Kids" what a weird name you thought to yourself but they were a pretty big deal. They were superstars. You weren't surprised. Chan had a really amazing voice that you never got to compliment him on, and you knew he would end up pursuing what he loved one way or the other.

As if the shock of seeing him on stage performing with seven other men wasn't enough, they announced their first World tour, and the third stop was Sydney. HE WAS COMING HERE? HE WAS COMING BACK? You almost lost your mind for a few minutes.

Wait, why did you even bother? He was a famous celebrity now. He definitely didn't remember or care about the girl he built sandcastles at the beach with thirteen years ago. He probably had all the girls wrapped around his finger. He probably took multiple girls home every night. Bold of you to assume you'd be on his mind.

It was honestly pathetic for you to still think about him the way you did but you just couldn't get over him, his eyes that closed up whenever he smiled, his mouth corner dimples, his beautiful smile, his big beautiful nose, his contagious laugh that sounded like he was in need of air, the way he would always carry things for the female teachers at school, the way he always made sure ladies went first before he did and the way he donated blood to the hospital every once in a while. He was perfect but not for you. You had to forget about him.

You had to do it before he came back.

Next chapter

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #bang chan #bangchan fluff #bangchan fanfic #fluff #kpop #kpop tumblr #tooth rotting fluff #romance #soft hours #slow burn #black kpop stans #black kpop fans #The Summer it Came True #angst

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littencloud9 · 3 months

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Thanks for answering my ask. If you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them. Sorry if you've answered this before.....

HI!! no problem i LOVE talking about my favs. here’s like top 3 ships of some fandoms i’m in because there is simply too many LMAO

jujutsu kaisen

- itafushi: literally my number one ship ever. they make me so fucking emo. the tragedy of what couldn’t have been prevented. i pray for itafushi moments in the jjk manga but every time it happens it is somehow worse than the last. peace 🙏

- yutamaki: they mean so much to me. i love them both platonically and romantically! their moments in jjk0 are super sweet and i love that they’re always supporting each other 🥹

- satosugu: this is a ship i’ll put in a blender. i don’t usually think of them but when i do i want to throw up blood. they’re the cause of all my problems. i love them. they are so my tears ricochet core

other ships i like are nobamaki, inuokko, and mechamiwa! perks of being a multishipper lol

bungo stray dogs

- shin soukoku: MY YIN YANG DUO!! they are the dumbest. somehow they bulldozed past all the normal stages of dating and went straight to dying for each other. who does that.

- kunichuuzai: i’m cheating here because i love all individual pairings in this ship AND the poly ship. especially kunichuu which crept up on me and slapped me in the face. chuuya being downbad for kunikida is GREAT. they are so good when you dont have toxic shippers breathing in your ear about how one is better than the other ❤️

- tachigin: do u ever think about how they’re both liars. how they both have a hidden identity. how they both found family within the mafia not as the person they really are, but as the person they pretended to be. how the betrayal felt like when tachihara dropped his mask. OUGH

i also really like ranpoe and atsulucy! and beast!akutagawa x beast!tanizaki is cute too

link click

- i’m a liar. shiguang is the only ship i have in this show. my FAVS. their devotion to each other is insane. they make me genuinely feral. cxs being an annoying little shit x lg who stays hopelessly in love anyway. ARGH I LOVE THEM. THEY WANNA SAVE EACH OTHER!!!!

tian guan ci fu

- fengqing: the implications of this 800 year old situationship is very fun. knowing someone so well that you know exactly what to say to hurt them. loving someone so deeply and repressing it to the point that you mistake it as hatred. i’m obsessed with them

- hualian: how can i not include the most romantic (and canon) pair EVER. get you someone who loves you like hua cheng loves xie lian because holy SHIT. i have not read the books (only watched the donghua) and yet these two make me feral i need them to hurry it up and get married already 😭

i don’t really ship anything else as of yet. but i do like and acknowledged beefleaf. i’ve heard it’s horribly tragic. i cannot wait to find out

sk8 the infinity

- renga: RENGA!!!! MY PRECIOUS. they are fucking head over heels for each other i’m obsessed with it. their ‘breakup arc’ genuinely hurt my soul. but i love how confident they are about each other’s skills, how they’re each others biggest supporter, how they see the best in each other etc. insane. i need season 2 asap

- matchablossom: [danny motta voice] they wanna fuck so bad. the end

i don’t ship anything else. but do i think cherry and adam had a situationship back when they were teenagers? yes. anyway

avatar the last airbender

- mailee: MY GIRLS. THE BEST ATLA SHIP AND YOU HEARD IT FROM ME. mai who masks her emotions with blankness and ty lee who masks her emotions with a smile. but they both know each other better than that. they protect each other and they are also 🖤🩷 how could you not love them!!!!

- zukka: [affectionately] there is something so wrong with these two. the original red and blue gays. to ME. i think they bounce off each other well and they’re a really funny duo. also. the prince and the fool. what more is there

- yuekka: personally i love love LOVED yuekka. i like how yue really loosened up around sokka and how sokka was head over heels for her LMAO they were a really cute ship. moon coded gf x ocean coded bf do you see how great that is. the tides follow the whims of the moon. they can’t exist without the other. ARGH

voltron

- klance: sigh. since we’re digging this deep into my fandoms list let us talk about klance. do i agree with anything that was written past season 3? absolutely not. they are definitely a wasted potential ship that ruined my life forever but like. yah. the ship you obsessed over at 14 is SERIOUS business. the homoerotic rivalry they had was seriously unmatched. nobody talk to me

- adashi: haha. my first experience with being queerbaited. they buried the gays before the gays even had lines. i was so upset about adam that i consumed an insane amount of fan content and then wrote 10k words in one sitting. thats how upset they made me

- romellura: the gfs ever. the writers screwed allura over so every ship i have for her is… very fan-based. but i’ll protect them with my SOUL. the softness of meeting someone who knows EXACTLY the kind of loss you felt. finding comfort and home in each other.

- veracxa: sorry one more. VERACXA IS SO GOOD AND SO UNDERRATED. lance and veronica having the same taste is so funny. also love that veronica went out of her way to make acxa feel welcome. and their matching judgy stares. the older sister and sister in law. i KNOW lance was sweating

sorry for the long ass list. there’s lots of other platonic/familial relationships i enjoy in shows too i swear i’m not just insane 😭🙏. thank you so much for the ask!!

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atelier-slime · 4 months

Text

DRAGON QUEST'S LOCALIZATION SUCKS, ACTUALLY. PART 1

There's a thread blowing up on Japanese twitter right now about the poor quality of localization. It's the first time I've ever actually seen a japanese perspective on the topic, and it's been extremely gratifying to see a ton people from over there talk about specific translation issues they've seen or learn for the first time that japanese media is often given the short end of the stick here in the USA.

Most of the time over here in the US, criticism of localization gets shouted down as whiny fans who think they know better than the translators. It's been heartening to see that people from japan are also annoyed by it, and its inspired me to write up a whole long-ass rant I've had simmering in the back of my mind for years, so buckle up, long post(s) incoming:

Let's start at the beginning with the first thing that ever caused me to start thinking about localization. This little guy:

If you've played Dragon Quest in the past 2 decades, you probably know this guy by the name "Spiked Hare." Not me though! I got into DQ on the game boy, in the brief window of time where DQ's localization was handled by Nob Ogasawara, the same guy responsible for translating every pokemon game up until Platinum. In the DQ games Nob worked on, he chose to translate this guy's name as "Almiraj." Why the huge difference in translation? I'll get to that in a minute.

The almiraj is an extremely minor enemy in Dragon Quest 3. It's pretty weak, and it's only real defining feature is that it can occasionally cast sleep spells on your party members. It's just one of hundreds of monsters in that game, and aside from it's cute design, it's pretty forgettable. As a weird kid overly obsessed with linguistics though, its name always seemed odd to me. You don't really see words that end with a "J" in english. It stuck out enough that one night, when I was bored, I decided to google "almiraj" to figure out what the name meant. It sent me down a rabbit hole (almiraj hole?) that taught me all sorts of cool shit, and permanently altered the way I looked at localization. The path I tumbled down that night went something like this:

The Dragon Quest almiraj is named after the almiraj, a "real" mythical creature described as a hare with a large horn on its head.

The original inspiration for accounts of the almiraj (as well as the jackalope, wolpertinger, etc.) is likely the Shope papiloma Virus, which causes rabbits to grow weird, horn-like growths on their face and head.

It was described by Zakariya al-Qazwini, an Iranian lawyer, author, and all around knowledgeable guy who lived in the 13th century.

al-Qazwini described it in the Aja'ib al-Makhluqat, a massive cosmographical treatise that attempted to describe basically everything in the known universe at the time. It was so popular in the Islamic world that it was copied and translated into dozens of languages, which meant plenty of copies have survived intact to modern times.

The almiraj was brought into the limelight in modern fantasy when it was introduced in the first edition of Dungeons and Dragons, as a relatively weak and unassuming monster as part of a campaign to expand the game with monster suggestions from fans of the series.

Dungeons and Dragons-style role playing games were brought into the digital world with the release of the first Wizardry game in 1981.

Yuji Horii was a massive fan of Wizardry, which he first discovered as part of a developer exchange program when he visited America in 1983. Three years later, he decided to try and recreate the things he loved from the series for console gamers in Japan, and the the original Dragon Quest was born.

One little name was all it took to open up this entire through-line of history that I had no idea even existed before that night. It's a tapestry of human experiences over 800 years in the making, spanning continents, cultures, languages, and medium. It's probably because I'm the type of person who sits around thinking about stuff too much, but I honestly get a little emotional wondering what al-Qazwini would think if he could see the mythical creatures he described all those years ago as little dudes hopping around inside a computer.

And the thing is the tapestry doesn't end there! Dragon Quest is still pretty niche in the west, but in Japan it's fucking titanic. There's an urban legend that the Japanese government banned Square Enix from releasing Dragon Quest games on a weekday, because so many people would skip work or school that it would impact the economy. (It's not true by the way, but the fact that the rumor exists at all is a testament to how huge the series' influence is over there.) I don't think it would be an overstatement to say that what Lord of the Rings did to modern western fantasy, Dragon Quest did to modern Japanese fantasy. Almost every JRPG, manga, or anime with a fantasy setting has the fingerprints of Dragon Quest on it. Countless other works have been inspired by DQ, and those works will go on to inspire others. A million different threads weaving tapestries back and forth across time and borders, all over the globe. And the almiraj is a part of that! It might just be a single, tiny, white and purple thread, but it's still in there helping to tie things together.

So back to the question I asked earlier: Why is it "Almiraj" in Mr. Ogasawara's translation but "Spiked hare" in the current one? Simple: Nob actually translated the name.

You can see on the DQ wiki that the original japanese name of the monster is "アルミラージ" which is literally just "almiraj" written in katakana:

The current DQ team has instead decided that all monster names should be puns. I'm not against puns or anything. "Spiked hare" for a rabbit with a horn is great! I might even raise my eyebrows and exhale slightly if I read it for the first time. Dragon Quest in general tends to have a lot of goofiness in it, so it's not like puns are out of place or anything. My problem is that, by deciding to replace monster names arbitrarily like this, all the little threads start to come unraveled. You lose the ability to look back down the line and discover all these different connections to history and nature and art that you might not ever learn otherwise. The almiraj isn't the only monster to get this treatment. A huge portion of the monsters in Dragon Quest are taken from mythologies around the world, and many of their names are literally already in English, just written with katakana.

The almiraj sticks out in my mind as a particularly egregious example because of just how much I learned because of the foreign-sounding name, but there's plenty of other name changes that have resulted in straight up confusing, ambiguous, or otherwise stupid outcomes in the current localization.

CONTINUED IN PART 2

#dragon quest #localization #translation #long post #rant #almiraj

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tirkdi · 4 months

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I don't know why but I've been imagining this a lot for some weird reason. If somehow darklina do end up together just SOMEHOW do you think at one point they'll get bored of each other? Will darkling's obsession with Alina eventually wear out? maybe Alina will want to try something else with someone else. How would darkling react to that? He's possessive as fuck but sometimes I wonder he would understand that unlike him, Alina never really got to be truly free and explore things for herself. I mean I don't think he'll let Alina go lol but do you think aat some point in centuries they might open their relationship?

This is such a hard question because when we're talking about immortals, I tend to believe that almost everything is possible, so this is where metas trying to answer the question (as opposed to fics) get tricky. Is it possible? Totally. Is it likely? Hard to say. I think the question we're getting at is – what are the conditions under which it might happen?

I'm taking the premise of this question to be that somehow, probably during R&R, they get together and rule Ravka (why not?). So we're dealing with not-quite-end-of-R&R Darkling & Alina. It will take them a while to work themselves into a relationship in the first place, and there are a lot of ways that could shake out. But assuming they get there, to a place that is respectful and reciprocal (if not gentle and loving), how long would that feel like 'enough' for Alina, and in what ways?

There are a few things going on here that I'll call out. One thing, to your point of he wouldn't let Alina go, is that we have an example of what an extremely long-lived relationship looks like for him already: Baghra. When the trilogy starts, he's like 800 years old and still living with his mom! Whenever we see them together they're fighting, but they don't leave each other, and right up until the second before she did it, he couldn't fathom that Baghra would jump off a mountain rather than just coming home with him. Similarly, I think it's unlikely that he'd stop needing Alina at any point. At the same time, Alina is different than him – but I do think it's reasonable/probably correct to envision an Alina who never needs him as much as he needs her, even a gazillion years later.

Another question then would be, at what point will Alina feel like she wants (and, importantly, deserves) happiness/something more? There's some character work that has to shake out there, because I'm having a hard time envisioning an Alina that ended up with Aleks at the end of R&R doing anything but being really hard on both of them for many, many years. How does she develop from there? Depending on the setup, I could see his and Alina's relationship getting to a point where they fight like he did with Baghra, but also similarly neither of them has any intention of ever leaving the other. Balance sounds nice in theory, but can be tricky to implement! Their relationship might end up less like a balance and more like a seesaw.

So then, there's the question of – is Alina looking for someone other than him to make her happy or to piss him off? The pissing him off seems pretty straightforward (and I think we have some fics like that that I've seen?). Assuming she isn't doing it to upset him, that she genuinely wants more than him, then I think there's the question of are we talking about sex or are we talking about a relationship with someone else? I do think you could come up with a setup where eventually he'd come to terms with sex, reassuring himself about how the Zoya lookalikes he sees leaving Alina's room in the morning are going to die in like a minute anyway, he doesn't even have to do anything.

I could also see a setup where you could make a power dynamic like that that he'd even enjoy, if he let himself. I think a lot about the Oscar Wilde quote: "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." If he allowed himself to acknowledge that he liked the ... humiliation? one area of his life where he was not in control? ... then I could also see him being into it, as long as he felt secure enough in the relationship between the two of them. And that right there is the whole reason we (or at least I) love this ship – their power dynamic is endlessly fascinating and there are so many different ways it could go

#i almost never say never for our tgt immortals #darklina #grishaverse #an ask #aleksander morozova #alina starkov #this was a fun ask to think through!

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ladyvaderpixetc · 4 months

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your top 15 favourite tv shows can say a lot about your personality

Tagged by the epically fab @lolahardy

this genuinely kept me awake a bit last night until I realised what was happening and stopped trying to recall every show that ever struck me right in the feels or shaped me lol and yes, I know no one asked for any reasoning behind it but when you've mulled it over all bloody day long, you feel like sharing :P

M*A*S*H - used to be on everyday at 7 and my mum had adored it when she was younger so brought me and my sister up on it, still makes me laugh and cry to this day.

Star Trek TNG (& Picard which might be cheating but really is just an extension all told) - loved all the Trek's, Honourable Mention goes to ToS because kid!me loved it so much, only to have TNG blow the roof off my head. Lt Cmdr Data was my first love and I am unashamed ;)

Red Dwarf - for many reasons but mainly Arnold Rimmer (more reliable than a garden Strimmer, he's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner - he's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer...) who my teenage self was certain could be redeemed with the power of love, or a very determined snogging if nowt else.

The Good Place - because I (and many of us) needed it as a concept, whether for personal growth, coping with grief or just cos 'forking shirtballs' never gets any less funnier for me.

Firefly - the best show to ever be cancelled before it's writer could ruin it. I adored the show and the ensuing film, mourned its early cancellation for YEARS until I heard about Whedon's general twattishness and what had been his intentions for the series and characters, now am happy it exists as it is, still problematic but so worthy in so many ways, and on that awkward note...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - problematic on 800 gazillion levels in this day and age but still a forerunner of many awesome things to follow and I'd be lying if I said I hadnt been glued to it, obsessed with it, shipping folks, dling the soundtrack, buying the jewelry etc and even now if I see a reaction vid on YT for S5 I can't help myself but watch and weep along with them.

Merlin (BBC) - Umm'd and Ahh'd over this for bloody ages lol but it was my happy place (literally, had a run of bad years as have we all, so I'd watch an ep before bed every night to make me smile) and it got me through the difficulties I had right up to the finale where they took me and my happy place out back and shot it in the face in front of me lol. Despite my escapism route being put down in those heinous raw weeks immediately following a parents funeral, I'm still listing it here for being wonderful, silly, heartening and heartbreaking, whilst giving every last Fuck You to the writers for their surprise, abruptly canon-compliant ending.

Stargate SG1 - daft sci fi with it's heart trying hard to be in the right place plus eminently shippable characters in almost every combo going? Yes, please.

Heroes - because I was OBSESSED. It picked me up out of my OTP in a diff fandom (sorry drarry, I still love you honest) drained me of any and all urge to write for anything but them ever again until it got shat on by its own writers, breaking the spell.

Brooklyn 99 - NINE-NINE. *sadly doffs cap to Captain Holt*

King of the Hill - from a show I used to avoid when I was younger to one I ration myself viewswise so it won't lose it's impact. Superb.

Schitts Creek - only watched due to encountering a clip on tumblr of Moira's stonefaced manaical laughter and ended up crying with happiness over the finale, am an easy crier sure, but not normally because something is just so lovely.

Cheers - was only a kid when it finished but I bawled my face off when Sam said 'sorry, we're closed' (was too young to know it'd be repeated ad infinitum lol) and the opening theme still feels like coming home.

Golden Girls - sole reason D+ gets any money from me, the bastards, it was my only access for a bit there but it was worth it, lightyears ahead of it's time and just wonderful to boot.

Parks & Rec - somewhere my sister is elated with no clue why. Took her years to talk me into it, but having watched it on repeat a few times, I now can't live without Leslie, Ben & Ron.

Other honourable mentions (sorry I know, longpost, my bad) go to Quantum Leap for being a daily delight growing up, What We Do in the Shadows which would have made the list but I've only just got around to watching it and am only on S3 so have yet to find out if it's going to rip my heart out, Eerie Indiana for getting me started hyperfixationwise, Caroline in the City (S1-S3... S4? I don't know her - no seriously, I didnt realise for YEARS it didnt end at S3 and as this purported S4 fucked that up [supposedly] yeah I don't know her), The XFiles for my first actual foray into fandom & fanfic, and I know am missing another gazillion shows I'll remember later that seem much more worldshaping than these and I'll gnash my teeth lol so yeah *waves hand vaguely towards future me's frustrated rememberings* them too ;)

Tagging a) anyone who fancies a go should they feel like it, and b) [no pressure natch] @theangrykimchi @amazinmango @thesaltofcarthage @buckydunpun @kalika999 @gracerene @helaheim @dls-ao3 @emorgan5061 @bananaempanada

#favourite tv shows #long post #sorry lol

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nitro-nova · 1 year

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Let's Help Alfred!

Hi, this is Alfred, my 14-year-old grumpy old cat. Alfred means a lot to me and many lovely people that I know.

The short story is that he is old and in need of medical specialists. There are two whoppers coming up:

Ultrasound for his tummy to look for signs of blockage. The cost will range between $1,400 and $1,800.

Dental care, possible chance of tooth removal. The cost will range between $1,400 and $2,500.

I have created a fundraiser pool on Paypal. https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/8RrDxhPxUp You can view the fundraiser's progress and make a donation through their website.

Additional details/predicted questions below. Content warning for some mentions of unsanitary stuff.

Q: How is Alfred doing right now?

A: He is hanging in there. The main concerns are that he has suddenly stopped eating as much, has a fit or two of vomiting for consecutive days per week, chews abnormally slowly, yowling at random times, and other health issues. He's getting old. He's walking slower, but he's being far more social than usual. He often sits in a chair next to mine while I'm at my job.

Q: How much of this can you cover yourself?

A: I have been doing my best to keep up with the costs, but I have taken hits to my emergency funds. I've spent $800 for an animal hospital visit, did three ~$400 visits that included bloodwork and tests to determine his hyperthyroidism, and spent $1500 for a procedure to resolve a hyperthyroidism issue. I've hopefully extended his life for a few more years, because of this, but it hasn't gotten to the bottom of his relapsing health problems. I'm trying not to feel like I'm still at square one.

Q: Do you think it's possible that the fundraiser will succeed?

A: I don't know. This is a lot of money, and part of it is just diagnostic. I'm considering getting a second job (currently I work remote tech support). A backup plan is to get a loan or credit and pay it off. I really want to be a good pet owner for Alfred, and I will figure out a way to get him care, one way or another.

Q: I've seen you draw some art. Can you commission your way to victory or something?

A: I'm willing to accept commissions, but if I were to do "$100 commissions," for example, I'd need to complete about 43 of them. I don't even know that many people. Anything helps, but it's a lot of money. With that said, I've got https://twitter.com/nitro_nova and my DMs here if you want to reach out.

Q: Tell me some things about Alfred while I think about clicking that link.

Alfred is a 14-year old, and his breed is American Maine Coon, one of the largest domestic cat breeds. He is generally grumpy and does not like to be picked up or to be placed in a lap. He maintains his fur much better than I maintain my own hair. That's why he always looks good. He enjoys the presence of other people, and will often seek them out just to loaf next to them.

Alfred will loaf in a high chair next to mine for roughly the entire duration of my work shift. For a while, he was obsessed with the gravy of wet canned food (we aren't sure why he has rejected it in favor of dry food again). He will pry open doors and hop into cabinets, and he does not like it when a door is closed. He has a cat tower which he loves. Very rarely, he will come to you and bump you, because he loves you under his posh and elegant demeanor.

#fundraiser #cat #signal boost #medical #vet

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dashoulinas-fandom-dump · 30 days

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Hey! It’s my birthday and the Gomens brainrot has subsided to a semi-manageable level, so I’m trying Doctor Who!

I don’t know if there’s a best way to do this. I’m just starting at the beginning.

I’m halfway through episode 3. It feels very strange to my modern mind- the slow pacing, black & white, everything feels random. I do crack up every time someone says Doctor.

I’m certainly interested, though I don’t immediately love it. I intend to stick with it for some time before commuting to 800-some episodes. It may take me awhile to get into the swing of things. I’ll keep you updated.

Things I’m looking forward to:

Watching the filming equipment develop over time, especially

Color film

David Tennant

Daleks

any explanation whatsoever of who the Doctor is or how this all got started

modern camera techniques such as zooming out instead of showing the bottom half of someone’s face

any type of action, really

higher resolution

Things I like so far:

appropriate skepticism rather than just immediately accepting time travel

the murder mystery feel of the first episode

the Doctor squabbling with Ian

Year-meter shows 0? Ah, must be broken lol

episodes are short (I suspect this will much annoy me once I get invested in the characters)

Things that are meh so far:

The modern females are panicky, screechy, and pretty useless

I don’t care at all about the cavemen and their situation. not finding it engaging.

congrats on the Sherlock obsession. As I am now just going down the list of things you and Tumblr like, I’ll have to try it eventually. I have a feeling DW may occupy me for quite some time, though.

Many thanks for recommending Good Omens!

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 🥳🥳

So I personally began my DW journey from the new who (starting with the 9th doctor) and only later tried watching the b/w beginning, and I must confess I still believe I have not been very successful in doing so (I got stuck after maybe 10 episodes...) So yeah.. By going your way you are less likely to miss that huge part of the show. I'm very proud of you!!

For if/when you decide to try out Sherlock obsession, just know that BBC series is only one of the many adaptations and you will find a lot of them far better than Brwnneebdck Curemdbdbtch. (I and the sherlock side of the maggot family absolutely loathe don't like the bbc series, mostly for ruining dearest Irene and making Sherlock an absolute arse/crimesolving machine..) So yeah, just a heads up:)

#dasha speaks #lina answers #HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

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kafkaguy · 2 months

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ethan. i chose whatever music asks you haven’t done yet.

hi kieren im kind of obsessed with u. there are a lot that i havent done but some of them i cant be bothered to answer/genuinely cannot answer or the answer is just no so here's the ones i like <3

Do you listen to more oldies or more current stuff? A mix of both but leaning more to oldies, the majority of my favourite songs and artists are either from the 60s & 70s era, or the 90s & 00s era <3

Would you wear a t-shirt of a band you're not into? Probably not, even if the design is cool i only wear band tshirts if i care abt the band. But if someone gave me an artist tshirt as a gift, i’d wear it AND listen to the artist it depicts 👍

Is there an artist or song that you like, despite being of a genre you don't usually like? I like all genres i don't discriminate. i’m bisexual

A song or album from the 50s or earlier: this compilation album of old japanese pop 1950-1951… discovered through mash playlists

A song or album from the 60s: 1-800-are-you-experienced by jimi hendrix 1967 :)

A song or album from the 70s: Born to run by BRUCIE 1975 raaaagghhhhhh

A song or album from the 80s: King of rock by run-dmc 1985 💪💥

A song or album from the 90s Call the doctor by sleater-kinney 1996

A song or album from the 2000s: Cheap pop for the elite by kore. ydro., 2006

A song or album from the 2010s: TRANSANGELIC EXODUS BY EZRA FURMAN 2018. GOAT

Do you and your partner/best friend share a special song? One you’d call “our song”? unfortunately for my boyfriend and i it is the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us by sufjan stevens which is indicative of how normal we both are

Do you play any instruments? I’ve been “learning” the bass for about 2 years but havent made much progress but i can do basic riffs and improvise a little

Who’s your favorite fictional band or artist? Marceline The Vampire

When was the last time you cried when listening to a song, if ever? I couldn’t tell you the last time a song made me properly cry but i sort of cried listening to come on in yesterday because i was having a category 5 peter tork moment

Your favorite artist from your city/state/country? At the moment its marina spanou and based on her lyrics i think she is literally from the same area of athens as me <3

A song you like in a language you don’t speak:

A song you like with lyrics in two or more languages:

songs that are symbolic of a time when i was literally and without exaggeration in the trenches. korean & english

Do you enjoy musicals? If so, what’s your favorite? Top 5: fiddler on the roof, jesus christ superstar, newsies, les miserables, hadestown.

Have you watched any musician’s biopics? Do you have a favorite? I’M NOT THERE DIRECTED BY TODD HAYNES MY NUMBER 1 ☝️ even if i am not the biggest bob dylan girl out there i fucking love that movie so much

Do you listen to music when it's raining or do you stop to hear the sound of the rain? Im answerin this question cos i like it. If its raining really hard i take out my headphones and turn my music up so i can hear it out loud blended with the sound of the rain <3

Do you prefer live recordings or studio recordings? LIVE RECORDINGS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS. I dont know if i prefer them but theres something so comcorting and beautiful of hearing live stuff so yeah <3

Okay these were the questions i cared about. thank you i love you . heheheheh

#YAAYYYY MUSIC :)#kip 🕸️#📬

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ghooostbaby · 2 years

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The whole first kiss of hualian’s is like an absurd fantasy-setting comedy of manners, where xie lian realizes that this random person who splashed down out of nowhere to where he was hiding underwater from a resentful fetus spirit and started kissing him is actually that new acquaintance he really admires and has been really hoping they’ll keep spending time together, so wouldn’t it be rude to stab them? would he want to have lunch again?

Once you start to pay attention to Xie Lian’s inner dialogue in book 3 you see how absolutely preoccupied he is with rules... figuring out the unspoken rules that everyone else seems to know and he doesn’t, and then stressing out about how to follow them, and then feeling embarrassed and berating himself for not following them because they go against his conscience or instincts.

The huge distance between the inner narration of this weary, cautious scrap god of Book 3 and Book 2′s naively self-assured crown prince communicates so much without saying anything. His actions and choices on either side of the 800 years aren’t really any different, he always had bold, different ideas, and followed them despite how much the people around him tried to persuade him to proceed by the expected protocol. But after 800 years, even though he still can’t help doing what feels right to him, he’s always second guessing himself and agonizing internally if this or that was impolite or against some social norm.

I remember that in Xie Lian’s early years as a god, the book described how unlike the other gods Xie Lian was acting - he almost never hung around heavens, or participated in the bureaucratic activities, and spent most of his time patrolling the mortal world, but Xie Lian just ignored those expectations, and was confident his approach was the right one despite the protocol. When he returns to the heavens 800 years later, it’s like all of that iconoclasm (so funny to use this word for god) or freethinking was because he was just doing what felt normal to him. It’s so clear how hard he is trying to be polite, following the social norms, but he just doesn’t do it very well. He tries so hard to participate in the communication array like everyone else only to be told he’s kind of acting embarrassing and can he please stop. He seems hyper-aware that any thing he might do that feels normal could come off as anti-social and is obsessively analyzing everything he says or does for whether it transgresses any rules of politeness. He still does mostly the same things as he would have done, but he’s generally very hard on himself for it, constantly watching himself from the outside and fretfully examining all his behaviour, and trying to correct himself and force himself to consciously follow the social standards. (relateable!!!! neurodivergence!!!! masking!!! ahhhh!!!!)

The fall of Xian Le for Xie Lian was this conflict between having to obey the rules of the universe and doing what he thought was right. Over the years, I think his willingness to sacrifice his body is how he managed to abide by the rules of the universe, heaven, etc while doing the work of helping others. (”Give another cup”, if there’s not another cup to give, give your own.) It’s more uncomfortable, actually, for him to rely on others than to sacrifice himself. Because even though he’s trying to fit in with others, he really doesn’t trust them. Maybe, specifically because he had to go against what feels right and natural to be accepted, he doesn’t trust them.

There is a tension that comes up often between Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian and help him to do what he wants and cares about, and Xie Lian choosing to get hurt to be able to do what he wants and cares about. Why Hua Cheng showed up and started kissing Xie Lian is not really explained as far as I can tell, but he seems miserable about it when they get to the shore, and it really doesn't fit with his MO to just suddenly go grab Xie Lian and kiss him, especially not the first time! It seems like it had to be for some non-romantic reason. Was this the best thing he could think of to keep Xie Lian’s mouth occupied so he couldn’t swallow any ghosts or swords? (He only passes Xie Lian air after they've been kissing for a while, after Xie Lian realizes who it is and is so shocked he opens his mouth and loses his air, so I don't think that's the reason Hua Cheng initiated it.)

Hua Cheng is insistent on not allowing Xie Lian to be hurt, but Xie Lian constantly comes across this problem where the only way to help others is strategically using his tolerance to pain, and, well, death. Xie Lian is willing to endure pain and hunger to help anyone, or even just prevent them from feeling discomfort or feeling slighted, but he’s not willing to rely on anyone. He doesn’t really trust anyone to be able to handle his vulnerability. No one else has been able to handle his vulnerability.

When they’re on the beach after the kissing is over and the fetus spirit has been dealt with, the more Hua Cheng tries to be aplogetic or helpful, the more Xie Lian gets distressed and tries to hide that he’s uncomfortable at all, or even bleeding from a needle lodged in his foot. The discomfort of the kiss and after has meaning for Xie Lian’s narrative/character development. When Hua Cheng carries Xie Lian to paradise mansion and kneels before him to pull the needle out of his foot, seeing him go down to the floor like that makes Xie Lian feels uncomfortable. Even when Hua Cheng offers to prepare a feast for him, he seems to awkwardly wave that away to go for a walk to buy some food together. It seems like he’s afraid of asking too much of Hua Cheng, or getting supported by him. In his internal narration, Xie Lian keeps worrying to himself about being perceived impolite, not adhering to social rules, as if what Hua Cheng is offering is a secret trap, and he’ll embarrass himself or end up pushing Hua Cheng away.

After removing the needle from his foot and finding a place to eat, Xie Lian doesn’t get any relief from being further embarrassed at all, and even gets teased by Hua Cheng about impotency! Xie Lian tries to run away again, but he ends up allowing Hua Cheng following behind to catch up, and let’s himself express some of his embarrassment, whining “San Laaang”, which Hua Cheng responds to teasingly. I think this is a very underrated sweet, trust-building moment. Up until now Xie Lian has been constantly worried of doing things wrong and seeming impolite and trying to cover up all his blunders but after this, as he narrates the interactions with Hua Cheng, his internal self-examinations seem to tend more and more to a slightly less panicked thought process of “oh no, I shouldn’t have done that, but since it’s San Lang, it’s probably fine.” Hua Cheng not flinching at playfully embarrassing him (I mean he didn’t BRING UP the impotency but he teased Xie Lian for it), he shows Xie Lian it’s not a big deal and that he’s accepted with him regardless. (Unlike, say, Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who fly off the handle at every small thing he does that diverges from norms of social etiquette.)

When Xie Lian suddenly asks about Qiandeng temple, he thinks to himself it would be uncomfortable if Hua Cheng made it specifically for him - again worrying of asking too much, so luckily Hua Cheng lies through his teeth (who’s afraid of being embarrassed?) that it was just a temple he had lying around, and Xie Lian was relieved it was a more or less casual gesture. Hua Cheng is also immediately apologetic about the temple, and says he’s embarrassed about having to admit that the beautiful, peaceful temple he made for Xie Lian is built in the midst of the chaos of Ghost City. Xie Lian initially ponders about the socially proper response to give, and decides he should compliment the temple to make Hua Cheng feel better about it. Which he also seems to take to doing very naturally. It feels like his nervousness about being socially appropriate is easing. It’s just ... so sweet. Every moment that comes up where he could say the wrong thing, he labours over what to do, and then takes a little leap, and Hua Cheng never reacts critically, and so each new occasion that comes up it becomes easier and easier, Xie Lian’s inner monologue feels less and less tense.

When they’re in the temple Hua Cheng humbles himself again, showing something he isn’t good at (calligraphy) and asking for Xie Lian’s help. Xie Lian even recognizes that Hua Cheng’s handwriting is actually very embarrassing and has to fight not to laugh, but it’s not really a big deal either. (!!) Xie Lian is pretty self-effacing about his calligraphy after not practicing for so many years - but eventually he accepts Hua Cheng’s request to teach him. Once he starts teaching Hua Cheng, the constant anxious back and forth of his inner monologue seems to completely fade away, and he’s just focused on the moment, feeling his competency and also his enthusiasm to take charge and teach someone something. One of the first things he does is put his hand over Hua Cheng’s to guide it. He pauses for a moment to worry about how inappropriate it was, but thinks to himself, it’s San Lang, so it’s probably fine, and just goes ahead with it and they have such a good time (T.T). Even when Xie Lian can tell Hua Cheng is purposefully moving his hand chaotically the more Xie Lian tries to firmly guide it (brat!), and he assumes Hua Cheng might be teasing him, he also doesn’t worry about it too much. This is San Lang after all. You can see how Hua Cheng has put his anxieties about following social rules at ease, and made Xie Lian feel like here is someone he can genuinely trust (bless them!).

As Xie Lian takes on a dominant role in the calligraphy lesson, and Hua Cheng in tandem makes himself more teasingly submissive, Xie Lian feels more grounded and at ease with himself. It’s what feels good to him, but went so wrong in his past, and Hua Cheng is helping him connect with that again (by being the best brat he can be).

#hualian #tgcf #tgcf meta #xie lian #dom dianxia agenda

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rydenfanfiction · 1 year

Text

1006 Ryden Fics

Update: 1/24/23: After like 8 years I think I finally got this to work again!

Entire Rec List is below the cut!

Be aware that these are wayback machine links, not links straight to the fic page. If a link doesn’t work, try copy/pasting the url into your search bar, and be sure to archive the page for the rest of us!

(Good In Bed But) Better With Chopsticks Ryan couldn’t use chopsticks if his life depended on it.

(Not) Afraid Of Being Broken In Brendon wasn’t really sure how it’d happened. Well, he knew it started with some cuddling, then moved slowly, building for months until everything started to fit together

[And You’ll End Up Looking Like Supernovas] Ryan gets sunburned.

[Douse The Lights] “I’ve been waiting for you,” Brendon tells him, and Ryan says, “I know.”

[Off a Cliff Just For the Spark] Ryan doesn’t want to do anything to ruin his already perfect memories. Brendon thinks that the stupidest thing ever.

[You’ll Be Platinum] Brendon’s sex tape gets mixed reviews.

@Replies Panic loves spamming twitter

1-800-CALL-ME-B Brendon works in a call center, but not just any call center, and a certain client keeps calling back for more. It’s better than you’d think.

20 Little Random Moments Brendon and Ryan’s relationship told in 20 moments.

21 “Attention” was the number one thing on Brendon’s list of stuff he wanted for his birthday.

28:06:42:12 Donnie Darko. It’s great but the end is really disappointing, sigh.

50-50 Ryan Ross says yes to lube.

86, 400 Chances Ryan has Asperger’s Syndrome and is obsessed with time. Brendon loves him and goes with the flow. With 86,400 seconds in a day there are 86,400 chances to break it or keep it all together.

A Break from the Noise Ryan Ross has “noise.” He hears what people think, feels what they feel, and sees what they see in their mind.

A City Named For Us Brendon and Ryan and the bitch of living. (Ryan’s side) And not-sequel-type-thing? That Long in Darkness Pined Brendon and Ryan and the bitch of living. (Brendon’s side.)

A Dark and Rainy Night An isolated video shoot turns deadly when a series of seeming coincidences conspire to trap the boys of Panic! at the Disco in a mountain valley with a psycho killer on the loose… And Brendon can’t seem to stop staring dreamily at Ryan long enough to focus on the danger!

A Doll In His HandsRyan’s fingers are messy, so Brendon cleans them off.

A Fetish For The Finite And Sequel: Crush Me Like A Flower and third: Drop A Heart AND A FOURTH: Just What I’m Used To

A Friend Of Mine Ryan just needs someone to come and hang out with him, but everyone’s busy. Story of his life. Jon sends his friend Brendon to help.

A Hotter Touch, A Better F… Than Any Girl You’ll Ever Meet The one where being Mr. Nice Guy has some unforeseen consequences.

A Kiss for Luck, Submerge Myself “At least she thought we were fighting,” he offered weakly, fixated on the undone top buttons of Brendon’s shirt and the flash of pale skin that showed through the gap and wondering if Brendon was as hard beneath those dress pants as he was right now.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles

"To be honest, I kind of just want him to pound me."

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Schoolboy Crush

What if Ryan can have them both?

A Little Less… and Sequel: The Pros And Cons Of Group Sex With Your BandmatesGSF. why.

A Little More Touch Me

Brendon had a thing about Ryan’s hands.

A Lover or a Friend, a Big Thing or a Small Brendon Urie, famous solo artist, is finally working on his second album, but it’s coming along a little slower than he’d hope. He can’t help it—he has a son to take care of, someone who he puts in front of everything. When Pete, his boss, gets restless and demands he starts working on the album, he brings Brendon a lyricist to help him get it finished. As the work progresses, their friendship progresses—but what happens when feelings do the same? What’s Brendon supposed to do when Ryan’s off limits in more ways than one?

A Manic Depressive Named Laughing Boy It is a truth not universally acknowledged that every small boy of highly advanced mechanical and electrical skills must be in want of a robot. Thus, Spencer created George 1.0

A Million Ways To Fall Brendon is having trouble coming to terms with being gay. So what does he do? Have a one-night stand of course. He starts to get sick and when he passes out, he’s taken to the doctor and finds out he has a mysterious unknown man disease. Either that, or he’s pregnant.

A Mitten Love Story Ryan and Brendon liked being snowman hands. They liked everything about being mittens together

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square Brendon Urie has had a hopeless crush on Ryan Ross since the mortifying moment when he introduced himself at a national forensic conference by tripping in the aisle next to where Ryan was sitting and getting coffee all over his shirt.

A Physics Prodigy From Ukraine Ryan has depression and then Brendon moves in next door.

A Proportional Response So, yes, okay, he had a public sex kink. He was an attention whore, and besides, everyone had something, right? Still, it was totally unfair of Brendon to use it against him like this.

A Shift in Tone Brendon questions Ryan’s words.

A Simple Souvenir Ryan hates the beach and he hates even more that he has to spend his vacation there.

A Tale Of Two Bookstores Patrick manages one of the many Barnes & Nobles in town, and everything is fine aside from his grumpy cashiers, his caffeine addicted baristas, and the two hidden in the back closet. Everything is fine, that is, until Borders decided to move in down the street and, yeah, Patrick is in trouble.

A Vicious, Delicious Cycle Brendon thinks school paddings are just a big tease.

A Wave You Glide In On High School AU. Fake Dating

A Year and an Ocean of Distance Based on the infamous Twitpic.

Abomination

High School. Brendon develops a crush on the pastor’s son. In which it is okay to cry over just about anything and it’s also acceptable to have sex in your friend’s grandmother’s bath using her head and shoulders shampoo as lubricant.

About Changes to @Replies: TheSpencerSmith @thisisryanross Jealous much? (Twitter!fic)

About Love and Forgetfulness One day, Brendon wakes up with amnesia.

About Space Unicorns and Chocolate Pudding Luke’s daddy was the coolest person on earth. He always played games with him and he could build the most awesome space camps.

Absence Ryan and Brendon grew up together, but have grown apart. Brendon stayed in Vegas and built his life there, while Ryan left the city to be thrown all over the world by a job he despises. After years of coming and going, they attempt to take a hold of each other once more.

Ace of Spades Ryan Ross has dodged death too many times, and when he does die he’s given another chance: go back to Earth and make someone fall in love with him in less then a month. Only problem is… he has to make a straight boy fall in love with him.

After All, You’re My Wonderwall He’d puke until his back, shoulders and stomach were burning. He’d throw up until he couldn’t breathe, sobbing uncontrollably as he knelt down in front of the toilet, hands palm flat against the dirty church floor.

After I Have Dreamed “Ryan Ross!” Brendon declares when he steps off the bus in front of their hotel, glasses askew, turning to face Ryan. “I love you!”

After the Rain Ryan finds a boy who is soaking wet and obviously hurt.

Agent Provocateur Brendon’s hit in the head and loses his memory. Spy fic.

Akin Brothers, Ryan and Brendon, were separated at a young age by their parents’ divorce. Their father took Ryan, against his wishes, to live in New York, while Brendon stayed in Nevada with their mother. Now, twelve years later, the two brothers are forced to spend time with each other, something that doesn’t go over too well with a bitter Ryan.

Aliens in America Brendon’s convinced Ryan is an alien.

All Aboard Memory Lane

All Along Ryan always seems to appear when Brendon is doing something particularly embarrassing.

All For You The thing about Brendon, Ryan muses to himself, is that he loves attention.

All in My Mind The day Brendon met him was the day Ryan’s life started unraveling at the seams.

All My Best Titles Are Song Lyrics Ryan unknowingly takes his favorite song-writer’s virginity.

All That You Can’t Hold Ryan stares out the window a lot.

All This Alcohol Is Going To My Brain Ryan’s getting married and Brendon just can’t move on.

All This Alcohol is Going To My Head Just one more drink and he’ll move on, he swears. Sequel: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue Brendon ruins everything.

All To Catch A Thief Brendon’s life is comatose and boring until someone breaks into every house in the town except his. A fairy tale about criminals. It’s so cute!

All We Fear is All that Can Save Us Jon and Ryan still talk to Spencer, and Jon still talks to Brendon, but since that decision was made last May, Ryan and Brendon haven’t really talked. And Brendon knows that he shouldn’t be surprised that Ryan’s here; after all, he’s here and he’s never been as, well, expressive about sex as Ryan has been.

All We Fear Is All We’ve Forgotten They both get off on pain

All We Have Seventeen years into the future, things have changed. It’s time to find out where you come from, where you belong, and where you’re going.

All Wound Up

Brendon will never mention it but he loves Ryan best when he’s restless.

All You Need Is And everyone is always saying it, always singing “All you need is love,” but no one actually really realizes what they’re saying.

Alternate Uses For A Hipster’s Decor “Did you know Spencer’s coming over?” Ryan says, and Spencer startles so badly that his hand nearly smacks into the door, and Spencer knows the sound of that would give him away, but Ryan’s talking again, and Spencer strains to hear. “What do you think he’d do, if he came in and saw us like this?”

Always Leaving, But If there’s a science to it, Brendon can’t figure it out.

Amnesia in the Shithole Four days since their last gig. Four long, weary days since Ryan Ross, the guitarist of the world-known band Panic! at the Disco had mysteriously disappeared. Four days full of sorrow, worry and fights over frustration. Brendon sighed. Four days without Ryan by my side, he thought, feeling hot tears burning his eyes.

Amplified Ryan doesn’t understand why people think he’s a slut.

An Accident or an Incident? If you have a serious problem with the opposite gender you probably shouldn’t go see a creepy fortuneteller.

An Anchor With a Broken Chain When Ian gets hurt in a car accident, Ryan steps up to the plate and takes Ian’s place in the Panic at the Disco tour.

An Attempt to Clean Up a Mess He turns his head to look at the ceiling, words blurring together in a broken sigh, “Life is a mess, Brendon. And I hate messes, very, very much.”

An Unlikely Victorian Heroine

”Arms aren’t supposed to get me so hot, Ross.”

And Don’t Twirl Ryan is a 22-year-old model, with empty aspirations and disappointment with himself. He meets a hairdresser who needs to belong, and maybe he needs to find out what he needs before he can be what other people need.

And I Will Know You By the Shape of Your Absence Life has a habit of becoming ridiculously reliable when you’re least expecting it.

And If Angels Can Fall Features lonely, scientist Ryan, who discovers something he never thought possible on a normal day at work. Brendon related shenanigans and minor angst ensue.

And She Will Be Loved Ryan finds Brendon broken and bruised on a lobby floor and decides that Brendon needs to be showed what love is.

And Some You Do For Brendon Urie is lonely, Spencer Smith and Jon Walker are bored and life in Thornton Hill seems like it’s never going to be anything but mundane. Then a mysterious stranger sets up a shop on Main Street and suddenly everything is a little more magical. Part one of the Thornton Hill series

And That Smile That You Give To Me Ryan wants nothing more than to let Brendon knows how he feels, but he’s too shy to say anything. So Jon decides to help and makes up a game of seduction with a promise that if Ryan plays correctly, he’ll have Brendon falling over him in four days.

And The Clock Strikes Twelve

Brendon sinks into his chest, gaze landing on the mirror in front of them. “Look at us,” he breathes, even though Ryan already is.

And The Night Shall Be Filled With Music symphony orchestra.

And the Sun Burnt Out Tonight People’s faces look so much richer when they’ve been crying, but I always found it the most tortuous sight in the world to watch you cry. It was just wrong.

And Then It RainedStanding on the other side of the window, looking rather distraught and soaked to the bone, glancing around helplessly as the rain pounded down on him.

And We’ll Always Have Barcelona

Ryan and Brendon have long broken up, but Brendon invites Ryan to Barcelona for vacation anyway.

And Whether Pigs Have Wings Ryan impulse buys a pet shop and employs Brendon to help him out there. Completely adorable.

Angel of Music His life is hard, and he’s often mistreated, but at least he’s got a roof over his head, and food in his stomach. He’s learned to stop wanting any more then that.

Angels Among Us Ryan never knows how Brendon talks him into doing things like this.

Annoying Bunk sex, yay!

Another Good Word For Fellatio Ryan is offended that Brendon gives better head.

Anxiety Features nervous Brendon and shy Ryan in the cliché high school setting. Ryan’s in an abusive relationship with Jake and no one notices. Brendon’s the shy, geeky kid [whose best friend is one Mr. William Beckett] who just wants Ryan to notice him.

Anyone Else But You Right before college starts up again, Brendon meets Spencer’s friend, Ryan, and they hook up. Two days later, he finds out Ryan is one of his teachers.

Aphrodite’s Trap Brendon and Ryan go to Greece, but Ryan’s apparently the boy of ancient prophesy.

Apparitions and Other Everyday Abnormalities Ghost!fic. Ryan’s mother has completely fucked up his life by uprooting them and moving them back to Vegas, back to his hometown. He was expecting to be alone in a new place with no friends. What he wasn’t expecting was to find his house rather occupied by an univited guest that doesn’t seem to be able to leave. READ NOW.

Are You Like This, Afraid to be Yourself download link. Ryan is cold and Brendon is hot. Perfect!

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Brendon When Brendon came home with a bloody nose for the third time that week, his mother didn’t even ask. She just sighed and said, “Oh, dear.” The not again was implied.

Armed With Nothing But Your Boyish Grin Brendon actually has a morning routine now. God, they are getting old. No matter that they’re both still at least two years away from hitting the big 30, but how their younger selves would have laughed if they’d known that Brendon would have a morning routine and Ryan would be impossible until he’d had at least a pot’s worth of coffee.

As Dreamers Do In which Ryan forgets how not to talk.

At the Shade of Your Sheets “Hi, I’m Brendon. I like The Little Mermaid almost but not quite better than Fall Out Boy. What d’you want to drink?”

Attack Of The Blue Flu or How Ryan Helped Brendon Save Christmas Santa Claus sends Brendon on a mission to spread Christmas cheer.

Attention to Detail Brendon paid attention to what would make Ryan chuckle, low and breathless, and what would make him shudder and bite his lip.

Aubergine Dreams He imagines Ryan running his hands over it, smoothing out the creases and wrinkles, the way it would sit not quite right on his hips, over his chest, without any curves to fill it out.

Automatic Joy This really was a fucked up thing to do, but he needed to get laid, and this just happened to be the perfect way to do it. A shiny plaque at the statue’s feet read “Ryan is a Coin Operated Boy. Insert a Quarter Into the Palm of his Hand and He’ll Do the Rest.

Autumn/Spring Brendon is struggling with a family that’s falling apart after his sister’s death. Then he meets Ryan.

Autumn/Winter Brendon’s completing his senior year of high school, trying to make it past the first anniversary of his sister’s death and one day become a hairdresser. Ryan’s a boy at the park with stunning eyes and hyperactive dog that walks into Brendon’s life without realizing. It’s a story about love and moving on.

Avoid the Good and Enjoy the Bad Brendon’s fiancé is a millionaire, his name is Chris. Chris suggested that Brendon should move in with him in his huge fucking mansion with three floors, sixteen bedrooms, twenty washrooms, three kitchens, four living rooms, blah, blah, blah, you get the point…And well of course you’re going to have maids, gardeners, chefs, servants, etcetera…And Ryan’s one of them. Eh?

Awkward, Unwanted Boner (AUB) Brendon had been having a good day, heck, a great day, so it was only fitting that it would all change in his seventh period History class.

Baboons and the Quest for the Last Poptart “It was the coolest, most fucked up dream ever, Jon Walker and I must share it with you.”

Back At One “Save you?” Brendon’s laugh is hollow and utterly wrong, twisting through a lull in the music. If Ryan never had to hear it again, it would still be too soon. “I’m not superman.”

Back to the Middle of the Place That Started It All Ryan was good at keeping secrets. But this secret was about to catch up with him. Honestly, honestly, this is the fic where Ryan gives birth.

Back To The Place He’s cute.” Brendon looks over at her, startled, and wonders if it’s all as obvious as it feels, if she can see it scrawled across his face after only talking to him for ten minutes.

“He’s uh. He’s my band mate.” And Sequel: Until We’ve Reached Our Ever After

Bad Habit Ryan has a bad habit.

Ballad For The Lost Romantics Ryan didn’t exactly plan on being chased down the streets of Vegas by a gang one late night. He didn’t plan on being kidnapped either. Much less by someone who claims to be Ryan’s friend and protector, despite the fact that the two of them have never met before.

Bananas

Ryan finds a new way of looking at Brendon, but he doesn’t want to.

Bartering Lines

"Okay, deal. You can kiss me, but stop tickling me in exchange."

Basic Adjustments Three days into the recording of The Album that Has Yet to Be Named, Brendon loses his voice. Just like that.

Bear Brendon thought that the Bear was the best thing ever. To be fair, though, Brendon always thought that something was the best thing ever, but it just so happened that today, this week, this month, whatever, it was the Bear.

Beautiful Color “Tell me why they’re beautiful. Explain them to me.”

Because You Look Like A Jackass Brendon is new in town and already trying (and failing) to win Ryan’s heart.

Bedtime

Brendon likes to sleep naked, did you know?

Been Taken Underage shenanigans on the fold out couch from the infamous share.

Before Midnight Brendon’s at a fancy dinner and Ryan is a waiter.

Behind the Curtain Panic! in the Wizard of Oz.

Behind The Golden Arches Brent and Ronald McDonald porn. How Brent Wilson Got His Hair Greasy The sequel. Technically not ryden. But this is my rec list and i do what I want *pathetic snaps*

Believe That Life Can Change Ryan gets pregnant; Brendon isn’t quite sure what to make of it.

Best Friends Means Brendon’s pretty much the Godfather of the school. Ryan’s his little-known right hand man. They’re best friends and they’ll stick by each other’s sides forever. But what Brendon doesn’t know and what Ryan’s beginning to feel will certainly complicate things.

Best Laid Plans

Brendon had a three-step plan to make Ryan Ross fall in love with him.

Bets Off

"I know you guys are taking bets on me and Brendon," Ryan said, "and I want in."

Better Together Pete was sort of vague about details and Ryan didn’t exactly have the balls to question it, but it is today, Pete said he’s coming today.

Between A Hard Place And You Ryan’s stronger than he looks.

Between the Lines “I wrote you an album.”

Big Girls Don’t Cry Fairy Princess Ryan is lonely. He never expects a stranger on the road to wind up being the one imperfect person who can change that.

Birthday Call Ryan calls Brendon.

Bitch Hikers Ryan picks up Brendon off the side of the rode. Then they pick up the Spencer and this is their journey. Makes absolutely NO sense at all and is perfect.

Black And White Piano Keys Ryan’s an English major and he needs a final project, but he gets a little more than he expected “You are the words to my music, Ryan Ross. You are the chorus to my melody. You are the beauty behind the beast.”

Bless You Brendon has an allergy for dogs. Ryan notices that every time Brendon has a sneezing fit, he disappears to the restroom and only returns a lot later.

Blind Leading The Blind/Testimonial It all played out like a movie, the first three years of my high school career. Always the typical love/hate relationship plot line. Always jumping from event to event, keeping the pace and suspense, trying not to let the audience get bored. And we all know that the good movies never have a happy ending.

Bluebirds Fly Brendon isn’t a weatherman, he’s a meteorologist, and when a new resident news anchor joins The KATU news station, he’s more than a little excited.

Boston The day I found my sister in the bathtub dead was the day I met Ryan Ross.

Boy You Better Put Your Pen To Paper And Charm Your Way Out Everyone knows that George Ryan Ross is straight. Why would I have a chance with him? And especially me, Brendon Boyd Urie.

Boy You Got A Real Pretty Face… Too Bad I Want To Break It Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie, esteemed and respected editors of Harlequin Magazine. They put each other through the fires of hell but could there be room for something else?

Boys Next Door Playboy Bunnies! Or the one where we objectify Brendon’s ass like whoa.

Breaking Brendon thinks differently. He jumps.

Breaking Rules Has Interesting Consequences (And Never Forget That Payback’s A Bitch) Ryan didn’t mean to. Too bad Brendon doesn’t care

Brendon and the Beast Beauty and the Beast AU. You knew it was going to come at some point.

Brendon and the Purple Crayon Like Harold and the Purple Crown. Except it’s Panic.

Brendon Ryan talks about Brendon.

Brendon Urie Dreamer Extraordinaire Mind magic isn’t against the law but generally people avoid it. It’s dangerous and unpredictable and those who take part are usually outcasts of society. If Spencer suggested this, he must be pretty fucking serious.

Brendon Urie Pet Detective Ryan Ross is the new kennel attendant at a veterinary clinic. Dogs all over town are going missing and when Ryan’s dog Hobo disappears, he’s lucky that his coworker Jon Walker knows who to call. Super Cute!

Brendon Urie’s Guide To Starting a Band There was nothing Brendon wanted more than to be in a band. Except maybe a really cute guy who loved him lots and being in a band. That would be totally awesome, but Brendon had to focus on the Getting a Band Together part first.

Brendon, You Asshole Brendon’s a dick and Ryan’s pissed. And he certainly is not going to give into those puppy dog eyes an hour later, just begging to fuck him or—more likely—for a blowjob with a clumsy postorgasm hand job as reciprocation.

Bright Copper Non-Sunsets ”Hi, I’m Ryan Ross. You have a name that starts with a B and that’s all I know about you. I stare across a room of feebly drunk people and I see you with cocaine in my eyes in my lips on my ears in my brain and I think, BBBBBBBBBB.

Brilliant Smiles And Barely Scraping By Brendon’s holding something inside of himself. It’s far from his heart; that’s where his favorite songs are kept. What he keeps secret is held in a place that Brendon himself doesn’t even want to try to find.

Broken Glass And Rusted Nails When Ryan gets the tattoo, he bears it casually, sprawled out in the chair and smiling at Brendon’s chatter as the needle traces over his skin.

BuildABear Brendon and Ryan go to BuildABear.

Bully Buttsex Complete crack

Burning Down Cathedrals That one where Brendon’s a famous musician and he gets Ryan’s band signed and where they don’t literally burn down cathedrals. Very good.

Burning Through My Head

Ryan helps Brendon with his Halloween makeup.

But I’ll Stray

"I thought we stopped doing this."

But In Time Brendon’s lyrics have the strange tendency to come true. Creepy Folkin’ Around theory in here.

But It’s Better If You Do Brendon Urie lives in Chicago with his teenage daughter Reagan. He divorced Reagan’s mother, Lizzie, two years ago because of her refusal to seek help for her alcohol abuse. One day while cleaning the attic, Reagan Urie discovers an old photo album that puts questions in her head that her father never wanted to have to answer.

But Sweeter The part that didn’t make sense, at first glance, was the spoon.

But Where Do The Nuns Come In? In which, Brendon’s family do their best, Ryan goes camping, Spencer mocks from afar, and Brendon is fascinated by Ryan’s flies

By Small and Simple Things

And there’s no way that Skittle is currently hoisted above the head of a tiny little brown-haired man who is pressing the mouse away with his foot and shrieking in frantic whispers… No, it’s just not possible. Except it is.

By Super, I Mean You They all have super powers and Brendon spies on Ryan while he’s showering.

Cabin Days, Cabin Nights. 2nd POV!

Call Me Maybe Brendon meets a boy he can’t get out of his head.

Call Off The Crush “I wasn’t thinking straight”

Calling I heard a high pitched noise and turned my head to the side. Beside me on the steps sat a mouse brown cat with big honey coloured eyes.

Can I Have Your Number? Brendon REALLY wants Ryan’s number.

Can We Fast Forward To Go Down On Me?

redorchids

Brendon and Ryan are getting it on in a supply closet.

Can’t Buy Me Love Ryan has a thing for shoplifting.

Can’t Forget The Things You Never Said Really, Ryan probably should have known that Brendon would be just as talkative in bed as he was out of it.

Can’t Stay Away Ryan Ross hates pain. He can’t stand any form of it; emotional or physical.

Candyboy There is an urban legend about how a boy can get the most spectacular and orgasmic kiss of his life, if he dares to try it.

Capes of Red Ryan doesn’t think he’s dead, he’s just misplaced his resurrection.

Capital Letters Make Things More Official

Cardboard The thing about the world – it’s always moving. Spinning, twisting at breakneck speed and leaving him behind, always, and it’s just so confusing. So Brendon seals his eyes shut to avoid the motion sickness.

Carnival (The Normal Kind With Rides, Not The Creepy Ye Olde Carnivale Kind) Migraines, guilt, confusion, winning of stuffed toys, dates that may or may not be dates and of course Jon and Spencer.

Carry On Supernatural AU He pressed himself against the wall when he saw the figure standing at his door. Now he was probably really gone crazy.

Carving Out Our Names The road to Maryland is paved with good intentions.

Case Number 182 How the split of Panic came about. Based on actual events, photos, tweets, videos, etc.

Castles in the Sky To say he is crazy is an insult. To say he is sick is an even bigger one. Brendon has to cope with the people around him and the way his family acts towards him after he ended up in the psychiatric ward. While maintaining a complicated relationship with the place’s resident pyromaniac: Ryan Ross.

Catching Airplanes Northern Downpour in which Ryan, Brendon, Spencer, and Jon put graffiti in various locations.

Cathedrals and Finger-Steeples Ryan doesn’t know exactly what Brendon wants from him, and he’s pretty sure that Brendon doesn’t, either.

Catnip Ryan and Spencer smoked catnip and turned into cats.

Caught Up In the Stars Brendon stared down at his feet, doing all that he could to avoid looking at the man. It wasn’t like things were bad between them; they were just a little uncomfortable since they’d stopped being together, of sorts. Whatever it was they were before, Brendon wasn’t sure.

Cave Of Wonders Jon Walker keeps hearing about these fabulous orgies.

Chain Of Flowers

Brendon gets a new tattoo on the last day of the Honda Civic Tour.

Chasing the Monsoons Brendon’s always had a problem filtering his thoughts, and when he get high, it gets a little worse, which is why he confesses his fear to Ryan.

Children of Wrath The one where Ryan is dead and Brendon is charged. (Don’t not read it because of the summary.)

Christmas in the Desert AU college. Ryan and Brendon are done with finals. Brendon’s supposed to go with his parents to visit family while Ryan’s prepared to spend the holidays alone.

Chutes and Ladders Brendon has an adventure in babysitting, although he should probably pay more attention to the kid than her older brother.

Cicatrice “His name is Ryan Ross, well, George Ryan Ross III to be exact, but everyone knows him as Scar. Scar is everything Brendon is not, everything Brendon envies and wants to be. Scar doesn’t give a shit what people think about him, and he cares even less about everyone else’s feelings. Scar is every bad boy your Mom warned you about, and also few of the bad girls on top of that.” Sequel is Overshadowed

Claim The Sky There are several days in Brendon’s life that, he’s decided, have changed him forever.

Clandestine

Clarity Feeling bored and confused about life, Brendon goes to New York. He meets an insightful artist who helps him break out of his shell.

Coal—Sweater—iPod—This It’s Brendon’s job to deliver Christmas presents, but something special happens when he gets to a certain house.

Cock Slut and Sequel: Interruptions

Coffee Ryan is a misanthropic Starbucks barista who is a tired insomniac and just wants to be left alone. Then Brendon moves in.

Cold Light Of Morning

Brendon wakes to Ryan’s hand stroking softly across his stomach.

Collect The Moments One By One It was Spencer’s idea. And that’s how bad shit happens. What else would anyone suspect when the Urie-Smith-and-sometimes-Valdés household attempts to throw a New Years Eve party and invites Ryan along with his many people?

Color Of Insanity Diamonds are a girl’s best friend but it turns out that sometimes boys want them too. To save themselves from a fate worse than jail, Spencer, Ryan and Jon need to steal a world famous jewel. Maybe they’ll need a little help.

Color Outside the Lines

Colors Ryan becomes blind in a freak accident, but Brendon will always be there for him.

Colour Wheel Brendon thinks in colors.

Combustion Brendon goes to a Renaissance Faire where he meets Ryan, a fire performer. Sequel is Kindle.

Come Undone Brendon thinks Ryan’s scarves are ridiculous.

Come What Sorrow Can

People bully Brendon, Ryan takes care of him.

Common Circuitry Problems

”Oh,” Brendon breathed. “Your robot has a stutter. Spencer, that’s adorable.”

Common Sense

Ryan and Brendon grow up together.

Communication Skills Brendon thinks Ryan doesn’t want him anymore.

Comptine D’un tre Ete In his mind, Ryan felt like he was in a foreign film a lot of the time.

Conflicted They’re back on the bus. Brendon is irritating, Ryan is irritated.

Consanguinity Ryan never really thought of Brendon as anything more than a partner in crime. He hardly even thought of her as his “little sister.”

Conversations With Dead People Brendon’s mom sends him to stay with his aunt one summer. Maybe if his cousin wasn’t such bad company, Brendon wouldn’t have befriended the ghost.

Could Be Someone Ryan’s father died two months and four days after he graduated college, leaving his son with more debt than anything else. We’re all just trying to get by.

Counting Down the Days ‘Til You’re Walking Through My Door Brendon first met Ryan on a Tuesday.

Cradle of Civilization When an ancient device that has been buried under the sands of Egypt for thousands of years is uncovered, it brings with it more questions than answers, and for decades it remains a mystery until an extraordinary young man is brought in to solve what no one else has been able to. What is revealed is a gate between worlds, and a small group ventures through into the unknown where they are tossed headfirst into a struggle as old as the device itself. Through war and death and oppression and vast desert sands, maybe they will learn that some mysteries are better left as that. But there is also the chance, for one, to finally learn of the one thing that will make it all worth it.

Crash The Cemetery Gates Brendon’s a vampire under William’s reign, but comes across trouble when he’s inexplicably drawn to a human under Pete’s wing.

Crawling Vines Ryan’s a teenage kid who walks around town at night, and gets sucked into the world of a ghost, called Brendon Urie.

Crayons, Ketchup and A Lap Dance Tester Brendon curses the day when he promised to work as a substitute teacher for kindergarten. And Sequel: Smoothies, Hug-Attacks, and More Crayons

Crazy/Beautiful Ryan’s a slut and Brendon’s Mr. GoodyTwoShoes but somehow they manage to fall in love.

Crime And Passion Brendon witnesses a murder and Ryan is sent to protect him from the mobsters who want to kill him to stop him from testifying against them.

Crimson A questionably sarcastic tale in the wondrous world of Guitar Center

Cupid’s Chokehold is Stronger Than His Bow And Arrow High School. Cupid hates to fall witness to people hating each other. Unfortunately for him, Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross want to kill each other. Can Cupid keep his bow and arrow aimed at the right two people, or will his pet-peeve come in the way of fate?

Dance In the Rain It’s their movie moment.

Dance Upon The Waves A Pirate Fic. Brendon swears this is the last time he’s going to take treasure-hunting advice from a giant turtle. And *flailing motion* Sequel: [Untitled?]

Dance With a Ghost Kiss me and tell me it’s not broken.

Dance With the One Who Brought You Pete gives Ryan the worst gift for his birthday which turns into the best gift of his life.

Danger! High Voltage Ryan and Brendon find a new way to entertain themselves

Date Night At first it’s awkward.

Days Gone By Crack!fic in which Ryan turns into Brendon’s favorite stuffed animal, Waffles the Penguin.

Deafening Silence It takes one brief moment to realize that sometimes it’s just better to let go. But it doesn’t make it any less painful.

Dealing With Bullets

The first time Ryan was pushed against the wall was when he and Brendon were just fifteen, wearing Third Eye Blind tshirts and skinny jeans and converse.

Dear Catastrophe Waiter 21-year-old Brendon moves to San Francisco, home of gay coffee bars, free donuts, and Ryan, the prettiest waiter Brendon’s ever seen.

Definitely (Maybe) Brendon has been pinning over Ryan for ages. The only thing stopping him now, is one Gabe Saporta.

Deprivation

Desert Drive Ryan and Brendon go for a late night drive.

Desperate Times And All That

Diamond in the Rough Brendon needs some help getting the boy. A Genie is just the way.

Diamonds, Loose Ryan thinks he’s got everything planned. That is, until Brendon turns up at his high school, and shows him how unstable he really is. It’s a story about lust, angst, and how no matter how hard you try, you can’t really escape when you’re in love.

Did We Get Hitched Last Night? The guy who will write ‘One Night Stands For Dummies’ will deserve a Nobel prize.

Did You Think That You Were Dreaming? Meet 17-year-old Brendon, sent to an institution and new school after he snapped. On his bent road to recovery, he meets three boys on the way, Jon Walker, William Beckett, and Ryan Ross, each facing their own problems and issues, and then there’s the odd and intriguing Lauren. Brendon has to learn that accepting and overcoming the past is his only way to be free of the instituation, and the only one that can teach him that is the one and only Ryan Ross.

Different Ways to Get to Where We Are

Dim the Glare Brendon goes to Ryan’s father’s funeral with him.

Dirty Second Hands Ryan has a serious Mommy Complex and Brendon just wants Ryan to snap the hell out of it.

Discoveries And Obsessions (Part 1 of the D.O series~) Brendon never thought it would turn out to be so addictive. He never thought, when he first squeezed a finger inside carefully, wincing at the pressure that he’d get addicted to feeling.

Do You Know What I’m Seeing? Spencer sees it first, the way RyanandBrendon and SpencerandJon is fast becoming RyanandJon, and Spencer, then Brendon.

Do You Remember Where We Met?

From the library’s security camera’s perspective. Drabble; Ryan works at the library.

Doctor Knows Best Ryan has severe insomnia and goes with Brendon to Dr. House to find a solution. While helping Ryan, House can’t help but notice something interesting about his patient.

Doing Fine “Don’t bullshit me.” Dallon’s never this forward with people he barely knows, but he feels as if he knows Ryan very well, as if he’s been running Dallon’s life for the past year and a half.

Don’t Forget How Well I Know You

Brendon’s quite the flirt. Ryan’s quite the control freak.

Don’t Mention Love or, I Constantly Thank God For Nymphomania Brendon has a theory. He’s no psychologist, of course, but he’s thought about it a lot too much, really and his guess is as good as anyone’s. Ryan is a complete nymphomaniac, Brendon thinks, because Ryan does not relate to people on a normal level. Ryan does not relate to life on a normal level. He bottles up all his emotions and pours it all into lyrics and sex. He tries to express an entire spectrum of feeling that way. No wonder he has to do it so often.

Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket Nice…egg, Brendon.” “Actually, Spencer, it’s my child.” He gives Ryan an endearing look. “Our child, to be more correct.”

Don’t Wish For Me Ryan dragged them all to see a fortune-teller, and Brendon got more than he bargained for that night.

Don’t You Float Away After Ryan Ross gets the scare of his life, he knows that some good has to come out of the situation. And it does, in the form of Brendon Urie.

Don’t You Know I Love You (When You’re Down & Dirty) Ryan can’t remember the last time he said the word want out loud.

Don’t You Know That I Belong Arm and Arm With You, Baby Brendon embraces his sexuality and Ryan is not jealous and is certainly not in love with him.

Down on the Farm Mrs. Ross, fed up with her son’s destructive and illegal behavior, decides to send him to live with a friend of the family over the summer before his senior year. The worst part is, he’s staying on a farm.

Dream A Little Dream Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross are best friends, band-mates and, well, straight. Or are they?? (Or the one where Brendon sleepwalks…among other things)

Dreaming in D Major But Brendon plays cello like he’s doing the instrument a favor. Ryan can see the fingers of his left hand sliding effortlessly over the strings, finding the right keys as his right hand automatically slides the bow at exactly the right angle to claim the sound.

Drink Me Brendon works for Gabe in his potions shop and one day accidentally doses himself with a love potion. The problem is, Ryan doesn’t know that it’s a potion. More can be found here

Drive Faster, Boy Ryan, Brendon, backseats, secrets.

Drop Our Anchors

Brendon doesn’t like storms.

Drown the Silence Brendon likes the quiet moments.

Drowning in Saltwater Ryan is an aspiring writer with a dark secret that has caused him to close himself off from the rest of the world. One day, he finds inspiration at the beach.

Drowning Lessons Brendon’s washed-up and married, and ends up hooking up with Ryan. Angst. Drama. Angst. Did I mention angst?

Drunken Nights With Brendon Urie ”Fuck, Bren. That’s, like, your fourth drink.”

Eight Seconds Rodeo cowboys .

Elsewhere According to Spencer, the Community is the way it is for the good of everyone. “Choices are dangerous,” he tells Brendon. “What if people were to choose the wrong thing?”

Enchanted Ryan’s never really liked parties.

Encounters-Five Stories Of Love And Loss These are five short stories with the same basic idea a post-break up Brendon and Ryan interacting with each other in different situations. Every story is a new one, they’re not continuous, and they are all relatively short

Epic

Etude In Blue Brendon doesn’t want to think about work or bills or how he had woken up this morning supremely awkward, wondering if he had ruined his new friendship by letting his sleep deprived mouth run away from him again.

Euro-Almost-Trip Includes Scottish Spencer, English Ryan, excited exchange student Brendon and one long assed train journey.

Eurora It’s cool, but you’ll need google translate!

Every Inch of Me Brendon goes to boarding school where he meets Ryan Ross, a rich kid who’s hiding secrets.

Every Night You Stay It wasn’t Ryan’s fault that Brendon had, apparently, taken everything he’d said to heard and decided to make Jon Walker his new best friend and secret boyfriend.

Every Speck Of Dust Illuminated Elizabeth Ann Berg is a witch, and Brendon knows it, and no, he isn’t just saying that Ryan is spending so much time with her (thank you very much, Jon Walker). But knowing it and proving it are two very different things. Featuring Charlotte the cat, Ryan the oblivious and Brendon the hopelessly infatuated.

Everybody Wants to Drive on Through the Night if it’s a Drive Back Home But he knows what rushing into love feels like and he knows it hurts like hell when one of the people in it decides it’s over. And he knows nothing lasts forever. Not even love.

Everyone Is Shaking To Your Name Ryan (and Spencer) go on voyeur sites.

Everything Else Is Meaningless Now Brendon Urie is the nerdy, socially awkward, and gay kid at his high school who gets beat up on a regular basis. Ryan Ross is the cool, popular, and straight kid at the same high school. When Ryan saves Brendon one day everything changes…

Everything I Am Ryan wants more than one person can possibly give him. Brendon tries anyway.

Everything Not Forbidden Is Compulsory A Robin Hood Fic! Ryan is seven when he meets Brendon Urie.

Evil Thoughts Ryan visits a bridge in the middle of the night, planning to leave the world for good.

Exactly What You Think It Is Brendon sends Ryan a copy of the new album.

Expect the Unexpected Sharing a bed hadn’t been their first choice.

Extenuating Circumstances The main difference between Ryan getting pregnant and Spencer getting pregnant was that Spencer had Jon, and Ryan had Brent.

Fae Attraction Urban fantasy AU. If they hadn’t been fighting, Ryan wouldn’t have walked into the group of fae.

Fair Market Value Things go a bit awry when he sees Ryan, and just can’t resist the purchase.

Fake Plastic Trees Ryan feels a twist in his heart, god, what he would give just to hear Brendon sing. To hear his voice, to hear him laugh, to hear him cry, to hear him gasp. To hear his own name fall from those lips. He shakes his head. He hates thinking about things that he knows will never, ever happen.

Falling In Love With Original Sin Ryan’s past keeps coming back to haunt him, his insecurities have prevented him from ever loving another; Until he meets Brendon Urie, the sexy, mysterious guy who makes Ryan feel things he can’t fully understand. Now, the ‘wall’ Ryan has built up over the years is slowly coming down..

Falling Is Like This Brendon is madly in love with the boy from the candy shop. The boy from the candy shop. There’s only one. “I bet he’s sweet,” Pete cracks and Brendon rolls his eyes and groans.

Fallout The world is killing itself in a mass nuclear war and Brendon and Ryan head underground.

Family Values Personally, I don’t care,” are the first words to drip from her mouth. Then, “She deserved it. Stupid slut slept with everyone around her, and a gay boy got her pregnant.” Ryan slips his eyes shut and thinks of her skin glistening under the florescent lights of the bathroom. She’s all china-doll and cold. He smiles to himself. She downed alcohol and pills; copy-cat, he thinks, almost venomously. But then again, he stopped feeling pity a long time ago.

Fascinate.

AND Fascinate. [part 2]

Boys and blood.

Fight Club Brendon is fighting for something. Ryan is curious as to what.

Fighting Just to Breathe Ryan’s friends buy him the shittiest birthday present ever. A gift certificate for yoga classes. But once Ryan meets his instructor, it turns out to be the best gift he could ever ask for. and Sequel Come Back to the Place We Are

Fighting the Flow Brendon is stubborn and Ryan is confused; the push and pull of power in a dysfunctional relationship, and the difficulties involved.

Fire Island The one with the deserted island and the abundance of Nightwish lyrics.

First Tell Me Which Road You Will Take The one where Ryan and Brendon chose to make it better.

Five Reasons Why Jon Almost Quit the Band (And One Why He Didn’t) Jon’s first weeks in the band were pretty hard on him.

Five Times Ryan Tries To Propose (And the One Time He Does)

Ryan is maybe kind of a colossal idiot.

Five Times Ryan Ross Let Brendon Urie Walk Away When He Should Have Told Him To Stay

Five Times Zack Almost Caught Ryan and Brendon (And the One Time He Didn’t) He knew the first time he met them there was something going on.

Flicker “Oh, right! Pixie dust. Right, I always forget that part.” Peter Pan!

Flowers

Brendon’s learning that the world is made up of many things, including evil. He also learns that evil is usually attracted to good people.

Flying Just Like “We have a Wendybird all of our own,” said Jon, “only butterfly-shaped. And, um. We used to call it Ryan.

Folkin’ Around “It’s about you, Ryan.”

Footnote in a Fairy Tale Ryan stood at the bar and sipped his drink, watching the crowd, waiting until he found whatever it was he’d been needing for the last few days. Ever since they’d arrived in London there’d been a feeling in the pit of his stomach, that something had to happen. He needed change, he needed excitement.

Footsteps In The Snow In Brendon’s world, all men are missing their halves and are doomed never to find them. But, one day, Brendon hears a voice in his head, and it’s not his own.

For a Minute There (I Lost Myself) “Brendon,” Ryan says, and his voice is low and quiet and curls up Brendon’s spine like a drunken serpent. Ryan’s fingers are long and thin. He taps a beat on the desk as he speaks. “Yes?” Brendon asks. “I think you’re magical,” Ryan says, “and I wanted to know how would you feel about doing hair for a rock band?”

For A Minute There He remembers when it was nothing more than playing, writing, making music with the boy who handed him the words and then took his breath.

For All the Right Reasons A look at a year in a relationship.

For Anyone, Ever Burned So Bright Ryan likes Brendon, and he likes secrets, and he doesn’t want the two to be mutually exclusive.

For His Sons (And Their Three Separate Hearts) Ryan thinks that hearts aren’t those big bouncy things that girls draw on love letters. No, they’re more lumpy, more thin and dripping.

For Keeps He sees Ryan, and Brendon knows that Ryan would be like one of those t-shirts that’s been washed way too many times, so worn through it’s almost translucent, with a few real holes showing through to skin, but soft. Soft and just the perfect fit, clinging to your skin in all the right places.

For Love Of The Sun Fallen Angel Fic! Brendon was an angel until he was exiled from the heavens. His wings were cut back and he fell down to Earth, losing all his memories in the process. When Ryan finds him on the streets, unconscious and helpless, it’s not like he can just leave him there.

For Other Meanings Of Tsunami See, the more Brendon thinks about it, the more it makes sense. Brendon is kind of genius; he just didn’t know it. Sex with Ryan. He guesses it could work.

For Whatever You Lose You can’t always get what you want… unless you fish it out of the ocean.

Forgetting You In A Cabaret Ryan Ross is the son of a wealthy strip joint and casino owner, but his father employs him to do a lot more than serve drinks.

Fortifications and Many Other Things He’s not mad at Ian, not really. It’s just that the way the curly haired boy was playing the guitar reminded him of someone.

Four Four defining moments. Four heartbreaks. But only one man caused them all.

Four Men And A Little Cabin Unrelated, nonlinear scenes from a recording cabin.

Freakend

"Assuming a little much, are we, Urie?"

Freaks An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor. There’s something not quite right about him, but then again, there’s something not quite right about Ryan as well.

French Kiss Ryan Ross comes to live with the Urie family.

From A Pretty Mouth Ryan likes Brendon in lip gloss.

Fuck Him Gently They lose their virginities together.

Full Circle Two boys, a boat, and the North Sea at night.

Futile Wars

Brendon and Ryan were together for nearly three years, but the relationship ended in tragedy. After over a year of silence they find themselves facing the past, only to realize it’s not the past quite yet.

Gay Chicken Pete wants to play a game which Ryan and Brendon are forced to take part in and they will do anything to win.

Get Back To The Place Where You Once Belonged Ryan always intended to be a novelist. Instead, he’s working as a copy editor for the Seattle Times. It’s not the only thing in his life that somehow got messed up. Also, Brendon writes a musical!

Get Off My Lawn! Ryan Ross promises never to be a cranky old man when he grows old. Well, he lied.

Get Ur Freak On

Whoops.

Gingerbread House Brendon and Ryan are moving into their perfect house or what they think is their perfect house, until it starts everything starts going wrong with it.

Give Me A Sign

Sign language. Ryan Ross doing sign language. With those hands. In front of Brendon.

Give Me Empathy Everyone has adorably useless superpowers.

Give Me More Standard Smoothie Hut Brendon and confusing as fuck Ryan in the lead up to Panic! at the Disco finally getting signed by surprisingly un-creepy Pete Wentz.

Give Up (Get Down)

Given Limits Exist Ryan and Brendon work together and they are perfect together.

Glory Fades

Something sacred, something so beautiful.

Gonna Be A Mighty King

It’s just a Wednesday, but Brendon can still be surprise king for a day.

Good Boy “Two can play at any game. Even Brendon’s disturbing sexual fantasies.

Got to Know for Sure There is a fifty-percent chance that, on certain days of the week, when the lunar cycle is in precisely the right position and Gabe Saporta’s pants are exactly the right shade of neon, Brendon may or may not have a teeny, tiny crush on Ryan fucking Ross.

Grace Brendon is an actor to which Ryan writes the script of his life for.

Grace Note Ryan is a journalist struggling to hold himself together and make a name for himself as a writer. Brendon is the lead singer of the popular band, “Industry of Being” until Brendon leaves the band with little explanation and Ryan is given his big break when he is the one asked to cover the story.

Gravity Fail

Ryan Ross has numerous epic Brendon related fails.

Growing Up And Grey Areas Ryan’s not expecting a new neighbor. He’s certainly not expecting that new neighbor to start attending his private boarding school, and he definitely isn’t prepared for the events that follow.

Guernica Ryan is a stuck-up artist who lives by his routines and never steps out of his familiar patterns. Then as he gets to know Brendon who doesn’t give a shit about rules or routines, or well, anything, it’s a collision of two worlds. Surprisingly, an odd friendship springs up from their acquaintance, but then the shadows of the past begin to unveil and soon they find themselves in a huge mess, one that neither of them is going to walk out of unharmed…

Guide Me Home “It was the first time I slept outside.”

Guilty Pleasure For every action, there are consequences. and Sequel: Gainsay

Hail the Seasons as They Go Ryan’s going off to college. He has less than a week left, a few days of spending time with his friends, with Brendon, and he doesn’t want to complicate anything.

Hand On Your Arm Brendon is blind, interviewers are morons and Pete is Pete.

Hangover From Hell The one where they get drunk and married. NOT A ONESHOT

Have A Little Faith In Me Ryan’s in witness protection. He’s alone, and he wants to keep it that way. Brendon, the new boy, fits in easily but can’t help being intrigued by the quiet boy at the back.

Have Found Out What You Are Like

Brendon splays his pale fingers over the smooth piano keys and just plays. By ear, by touch. There are sheets of music in front of him, but they’re for a different song. He can’t see them anyway, playing with his eyes closed, face blank.

He Acts Like We Never Have Met (I Don’t Believe You) An alternative universe fic of The Heart Rate of a Mouse in which Ryan goes back in time.

This is what we faggots do. Sit in the cars of strangers after sunset, watching them pay for a motel room at the reception.

He Knows He knows. I haven’t told him, but he knows. Brendon always knows with me.

He Was Just Hanging Around Ryan throws Brendon’s phone out the window and has to make up for it somehow.

He Watches The Ships That Come Sailing Pirate Fic! featuring Ryan the Reckless and Brendon who is a little bit lost. It’s cute!

Heart and Tender Heartdealing… Brendon recognizes the term, but in the same vague way that he recognizes the Mafia while really only knowing that it’s something he doesn’t want to mess with and involves people in suits. The term obviously doesn’t mean actual, physical hearts, since the jar looks to be just a wisp of cloudy shine. It’s more like the ability to love and hate and feel strongly about anything, all bottled in one jar and stolen out of someone. It’s shady shit.

Heedless in Rain Brendon, desperate for a place to live and low on cash, moves into an old apartment above an old bookstore. An old, haunted apartment.

Here Be Dragons “…and it’s exciting to be the first one to do this to him.” Time travel fic.

Here Comes the Sun Ryan likes to sing to his baby girl.

Hi, Brendon Urie Ryan met Brendon on a Monday, kissed him on a Tuesday, broke his heart on a Saturday and fixed it all on a Friday.

Hidden In Plain View Ryan wonders if it’s obvious or if it looks perfectly platonic, a group of friends hanging out, no one suspecting that two of them are something more

Hide the Razors “You shaved your eyebrows off.”

Hiding In Estrogen Brendon comes back to their hotel room and finds a beautiful, tall, lanky woman in high heels and a dress. But then he gets a closer look, and it’s not a woman.

Hints Brendon can read minds.

History-Proven Saftery Songs At some point, they’re going to have to stop buying things.

Hobo Ross Ryan takes Hobo to the vet.

Hold The Pose Brendon takes on a job as a cleaner for published writer, Ryan Ross, in order to fund his college studies. Spencer opens up an Indian style cafe and Jon, as always, is paid to make coffee.

Home Is Where The Heart Is Every year, an elf is sent down to every city to help raise Christmas spirit. This year, Brendon Urie was assigned to Las Vegas, Nevada. More importantly: Ryan Ross.

Honey, I’m Home! Ryan is dating a pussycat doll. As far as Brendon is concerned, that will never, not be funny. (Don’t-cha wish your girlfriend had a dick like B?)

Hot and Spicy Yum Ryan gets turned on by the smell of pizza. When Ryan orders pizza, it’s the new delivery boy, Brendon, who delivers it. Oh. This is kind of like a bad porno.

Hot For A Teacher

Hot Hot Heat So maybe it was weird that they were sitting on Ryan’s double bed in nothing but their boxer briefs and eating cherry popsicles, but they didn’t care. All they knew is it was fucking hot, like the hottest day of summer, and there was no air conditioner or osculating fans and the town was in the middle of a black out. Sequel is The Sinful Burn

House of Wolves Patrick scrubs at his eyes with his icy mittens, because there is no way a freaking wolf is standing in front of him— and sniffing his crotch, Patrick realizes wildly.

How A Resurrection Really Feels After narrowly escaping certain death, fierce, tough and masculine gang members Ryan and Spencer head out to the wilderness to avoid mortal danger (it isn’t Ryan’s fault!), accompanied by a heartless assassin who might turn on them at any second. Then there is the virgin Brendon, who really likes God and girl’s dresses. This fic is hilarious and sweet and sad and angry and well written.

How Did I Fall In Love With You? Bad things happen when Ryan reads fanfiction.

How Far Down Ryan likes his job, and it only gets more interesting when a new customer starts coming in regularly.

How Misery Loved Me Brendon had never seen Ryan cry.

How Naptime Can Go Horribly Right Ryan tries to take a nap until Brendon climbs into bed with him. Naked.

How To Kill A Straight Guy There was no possible way. No completely fathomable way that the human being standing in front of him was a guy.

How To Let The Sky Go Ryan teaches dance, sometimes, to those who aren’t completely incompetent or slow. It’s for these reasons and maybe a few more that he really doesn’t want to teach Brendon Urie how to dance.

Hum Along To The TV Everyone’s got something that they’re trying to quit. Whatever it is, there’s a group for it. Ryan and Brendon are no exception.

I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone Brendon knows noses, Ryan knows how to be stubborn, and Spencer and Jon should know better than to say anything.

I Am the Derivative and You Are the Curves Ryan’s close to flunking and he needs a math tutor. That’s where Brendon comes in.

I Can Be Your Safe Haven (I Got Places You Can Lay Your Head) “Ryan, what’s going on? How did you get those bruises?”

I Can See How Jesus Wept Boarding school. Brendon takes it upon himself to corrupt Ryan’s virgin soul.

I Could Belong To The Night When Ryan’s best friend Spencer dies, he thinks he’s all alone.

I Don’t Even Know Where To Begin

Ryan finds a dog on his front porch.

I Don’t Have A Library Card…But I’d Love To Check You Out. Brendon is close to flunking out of college, and his roommate and partner in crime, Jon, is not helping. He seeks refuge in the school’s library and finds a little more than a place to study. This is a story about finding love, taking chances, and being true to one’s self.

I Fell In Love With a Dead Boy The strangest thing happened on Halloween night.

I Know Something the Piano Doesn’t Know Brendon is uninspired. Sex ensues.

I Know You’ve Got a Wild Streak At sixteen and having been in public school for five months now, it’s hardly Brendon’s first party. But it’s the first where someone’s caught his eye, where he hasn’t just showed up with Ryan and stuck by the older boy’s side until Ryan sat him down on a couch and told him to be careful before disappearing with some mostly drunk girl into someone’s bedroom.

I Love You More Than I Hate Bottles The Young Veins!!! Brendon is a huge fan. Like, a huge fan. And he’s so in love with Ryan Ross. You have no idea.

I Love You Or Something Like That Ryan has to prove himself the Casanova everyone says he is.

I Love You To Death And Beyond Crack! Ryan turns into a zombie, but Brendon loves him too much to let him go! Ryan just wants to eat Brendon’s brain.

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living Brendon and Ryan. Both psychotic murderers.

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Brightly Colored Sex Toy It’s a butt plug, not a chastity belt.

I Spiked Your Cup With Angst And A Heart Attack It’s been three days and my mail has collectively gathered into one massive pile of responsibilities and reminders that life moves on without me.

I Swear I’m Not Folkin’ Around How Brendon wrote Folkin’ Around.

I Thought I Saw You Sometimes the world just isn’t a bright place. Sometimes there’s a reason, sometimes there isn’t. A story about trying to figure out how to live in the world and deal with the life and feelings you’ve been given.

I Thought The thing that Ryan and Brendon start up isn’t supposed to be anything other than a way to relax and unwind, but Brendon isn’t sure that’s what either of them really want.

I Wanna Be the One Brendon wants a baby. Badly. So badly that he would risk friendships to get one.

I Want My Hat Back Patrick wants his hat back. But who has it?

I Want To Hear The Same Song Twice Brendon is a DJ at a gay club, Spencer tends the bar, Jon has the best job title ever and Ryan is… complicated.

I Want To Wake Up Where You Are Panic broke up and Brendon went out on his own, he and Ryan haven’t seen each other for twelve years and Ryan has conflicting feelings when it comes to Brendon.

I Will Never End Up Like Him, Behind My Back I Already Am ”Then why are you still here?”

”Cause I-I’m not really here.”

”Then where are you?” “I am i-infront of you, but I’m not a-alive, Brendon.”

I Will Never Let You Fall When Brendon’s parents decided to adopt a child, they probably thought it would be a lot easier. Aka HoneyChocolate

I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead Brendon finds out how “normal” Panic really is.

I’m All You Want And More

I’m Not The One and Sequel: The Objection of My Affection It’s been two years. Ryan’s in college and he is reunited with Mr. Urie.

I’d Rather Be Rolling Cigars Brendon can suck cock.

I’ll Be At The Cabin For Our Christmas The boys have decided to celebrate their holiday together before heading home for Christmas. They decided to do it in the place it feels the most acceptable, the cabin.

I’ll Be Every Breath Your Trembling Lips Taste Something happens to Brendon and Ryan just wants him to feel better.

I’ll Do Anything For You (No, Really)

Ryan gets sick and Brendon worries.

I’ll Have My Cake (And Eat It Too)

How exactly he ended up being able to hear his friends’ sexual thoughts is still a mystery to him.

I’ll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours

"Have you ever done anything with someone else, Brendon?"

I’m Gone With the Moon, New With the Sun The first time Brendon realizes something is wrong is when he’s 6 years old.

I’m Not the One Mr. Urie is the new English teacher in Ryan’s high school.

If I Go To Hell, It’s Because I’m An Avid Slasher My obsession had started around the time I was a freshman in high school. (It’s really funny just read it.)

If I Never Knew You When Ryan is sent to live with his aunt after his mom gets fed up with his behavior, he is pissed. He never expected to meet a boy who was so different that he could change Ryan’s life forever.

If I Were Stalking You Then I’d Know Your Favorite Cookie Flavor (Oatmeal Raisin, By the Way) Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

If I Were Stalking You Then I’d Know Your Favourite Cookie Flavour (Oatmeal Raisin, By The Way) Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

If the Moon’s a Balloon In which Brendon is an unconventional Christmas tree fairy and Jon is altogether too interfering.

If the Stars Could Sing “I only want love from people who know what love is.”

If This Isn’t The Kingdom Then I Don’t Know What Is It’s been almost a year and a half since the last time that Ryan just showed up like this, and you’d think that Brendon would be surprised, but he’s not.

If You See Me On A Corner Ryan picks up a hustler.

If Your Heart Speaks to Me Mute!Brendon

In Case the Scene Gets Nasty Ryan and Brendon have been at each other’s throats for as long as they can remember. But things start to change. How else are they supposed to spend the long hours of detention together? Sequel: In Case the Scene Stays Nasty.

In My Linen (You Are Skin Again)

All he wants to do is kiss every square inch of Brendon’s body, wants his lips to be as feather light and almost nonexistent as when Brendon is writhing beneath the sheets for that ghosting

In Nobody’s Eyes But Mine Ryan had thought he was immune to the spontaneous little moans and screams Brendon is capable of making from their shows, but it’s just different when they’re all naked.

In Our Family Portrait… Blarie’s story of growing up with Ryan and Brendon as her fathers, and their family album.

In the Event I Lose Myself Brendon and Ryan are obvious soul mates.

In The Sound Brendon quits Panic! At the Disco and becomes a hairdresser, watching from afar as his former friends and band-mates rise to fame. One day, after years of silence, Ryan Ross wanders into his salon and asks for a haircut.

In These Lines

In Your Eyes Beauty Be Found High school with a bit of a weird twist? Brendon has a secret that could, potentially, ruin his life. Naturally, Ryan Ross finds out.

Infinite Sometimes With the help of his friends, Ryan has just learned how to like life. Brendon hasn’t yet found such luck. This is a story about strong relationships, trust, not wanting to be alone, and holding hands. There’s a river, and just like its never-ending path to the ocean, some things just go on forever. Sometimes you need someone more than you need yourself, and sometimes, that’s okay.

Innocence (In a Sense) This is his job, and maybe it’s not the most professional thing to do, but sometimes things have to happen in order to make things right. And if putting criminals behind bars means Brendon has to get a little dirty, then so be it.

Insanity Madeline Michelle Urie could hear the screams of the half dead in the victims in the experiment-morgue room across the hall.

Insomnia Is The Excuse For The Lack Of Something You’ve Never Known Sometimes Ryan wondered why Brendon was so childish.

Intoxicated Circulation Brendon has a couple too many and gets a little bit persistent as to discovering Ryan’s sexual orientation.

Invisible Fences

Iron, Neon Lights & Weed Brendon wants to get a record deal at all costs. He joins the Las Vegas underground music scene, but ends up distracted when he falls for Ryan, a scene king with little interest in attachments.

Irrevocably Combined Where-in Ryan really just needs some time to figure a few things out.

Isn’t This Exactly Where You Want Me? (In an Airplane Bathroom) Ryan and Brendon get on a plane. Ryan and Brendon meet. Ryan and Brendon hold hand holds. Ryan and Brendon sneak off.

It Isn’t Stupid When It’s You

Brendon notices the cameras first, turning away, and Ryan can’t help but mouth ‘I love you’ as he does. He’s sure no one notices.

It Sure As Hell Ain’t Normal, But We Deal Brendon is in a relationship with his ex-teacher.

It Was A Plane Ride Mile high club. Ryan, quite possibly, hated everything imaginable about his job. Co-workers were a bitch, mainly the girls, and pilots were usually an arrogant asshole or nervous wreck. The costumers? Beyond words.

It Was Always You Post-Divorce Cabin Fic. Basically Spencer, Ryan, Jon, and Brendon get back together in the cabin for a week.

It’s Just A Stupid Ring or How Brendon Baggins Saved Middle Ramen

It’s Only A Crime If I Get Caught Ryan is sent to the Urie household for behavior adjustment and scares the living crap out of Brendon. That is, until Brendon realizes Ryan’s not as bad as he first thought.

It’s A Week Before Christmas And I Meet You It’s a week before Christmas and Ryan meets Brendon for the first time.

It’s All Okay When I Say “You and I” This is adorable, seriously. High school with a Christmas Plot. Brendon wants to get Ryan’s attention by being his Secret Santa. The problem is, Ryan is the coolest guy in school, with more people pursuing him than Brendon cares to think about.

It’s Always Cloudy (Except For When You Look Into The Past) Timetravel! Where in a future version of Ryan comes back to tell his younger self that things will get better. Cute!

It’s Good To Be Feeling Ryan knows what he wants.

It’s Hard To Face The Holidays Without For Christmas, Ryan doesn’t get a dog. Spencer gets his train set. Brendon doesn’t get his deck of cards. He also doesn’t get a friend. Christmas 1992-2006.

It’s Just Curiosity So the thing is, Brendon needs Ryan’s dick.

It’s Just Like Flying “Why don’t you own any cool movies?” Brendon inquires, muffled from where his head is inside the TV cabinet.

It’s Just Like Flying Brendon and Ryan are bored.

It’s Not Repression, It’s Denial Ryan and Brendon are not in love. No, seriously, they’re not. Jon is just delusional.

It’s The Mess That Feels So Right …And he’s suddenly confident and knows exactly what to do.

It’s Written on the Wind Beatles/PATD crossover. It’s the Spring of 1967, and the last thing Abbey Road intern Ryan Ross expects, or even wants, is to become instantly attracted to a guy let alone a session musician named Brendon with a bad habit of not knowing when to give up. It would be a very, very bad idea, and Ryan’s determined to avoid it (and him) at all costs. A tale of scarves, Carnaby Street, music, and falling into something rivaling a Burt Bacharach Standard.

Jingle All the Way Brendon is annoying Ryan so Ryan makes him pay in the Christmas way.

July 6th, The Day For The Forgotten. "Exactly two years ago, to this day, you told me you wanted to leave. You said you wanted to leave the band. You said you wanted to leave me." Brendon winces at the thought. "That was the worst day of my life," He says quietly.

Just A Matter Of Time Until We’re All Found Out There was this smoothie shop on the way home; Ryan liked to stop there often but there was this really obnoxious kid always working there now.

Just A Teenage Douchebag, Baby Ryan is determined to have a good day.

Just One of the Girls “Spence, I’m. Look, I’m going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I’m going to,” he held up his hands, “this is so brilliant, I’m going to become a girl.”

Just This Once, Be My Savior In which Ryan has a daughter, Brendon has a nephew and somehow, they manage to fall in love.

Part Two

#ryden #ryden fanfiction

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