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#Gonna talk more about exorsexism

faggy--butch · 12 days

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I feel like bigender transfemasc really gets me. I'm a woman and a man, I'm a trans man and a trans woman. All the love to the cis-non binary multigender folks out there too. But when I say I'm a woman also, it's never in the cis way, and it never was.

#Multigender #Transfemasc #Mostly I like that instead of transmascfem because it sounds better in my head #Bigender #This is why I have so many complicated feelings about gender #Gonna talk more about exorsexism

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soong-type-notinuse · 2 years

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trans people, especially those who fit the binary or are close to it, need to understand that transition steps, body parts and similar things are not inherently male, female, masculine or feminine.

just because you feel more like a woman after growing breasts doesn't mean that breasts are inherently female.

just because a flat chest affirms your masculinity doesn't mean that a flat chest is an inherently masculine feature.

just because you feel euphoric in your femininity by taking oestrogen doesn't mean that oestrogen is inherently feminising hrt.

just because having a beard makes you feel manly doesn't mean that beards are inherently male.

you are forgetting the many genderqueer people who are doing the same transition steps as you but are not male/female/masc/fem. and you are misgendering them.

not everyone who was amab and trans/genderqueer identifies with femininity or womanhood, and doesn't see their transition that way

not everyone who was afab and trans/genderqueer identifies with masculinity or manhood, and doesn't see their transition that way.

transition doesn't have to affirm masculinity or femininity. it can affirm androgyny. neutrality. outherinity. xeninity. aporinity.

you're also implicitly misgendering other trans people for their body parts.

what message are you sending to trans men who haven't had top surgery by constantly talking about how breasts are such a female thing?

what kind of message are you sending to transfems with facial hair by constantly talking about beards being the most masculine thing in the world?

stop doing to your own community what cis people have done to you.

you're still stuck with the idea that certain body parts/features are tied to gender and turning it into a generalised statement to affirm only you and those who are like you, those who have the "correct" body parts, while misgendering trans men and trans women who don't (yet) have them under the bus and misgendering them, and erasing everyone who doesn't fit your binary.

i bet you, if i were to ask any of these people what makes oestrogen feminine and testosterone masculine, it's gonna be about body parts. and if i ask them what makes those body parts fem or masc, it's gonna come down to spicy cissexism and bioessentialism, or some shit about "most people who take t are transmasc, and most people who take e are transfem", so, spicy exorsexism.

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rjalker · 1 month

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I am so not in the mood to listen to banter. We turned the corner and the colonist was there. There was no feed ID, but AdaCol2 supplied the name Lucia and when I asked it for more info, the gender signifier bb (which didn’t translate) and he/him pronouns. (I asked because the humans would bug me for the information; I was as indifferent to human gender as it was possible to be without being unconscious.) Iris said, “Hello. Thank you for inviting us in.”

it's not even consistent with Murderbot's characterization. It is constantly describing people as either male or female or actually checking their gender markers in their feed bio. This is really clearly Martha Wells trying to brush the fact that she doesn't have characters list their pronouns literally anywhere under the rug as "characterization of Murderbot not caring" when it's literally not. We know none of these people list their pronouns in their feed bios. The problem is Martha Wells thinks that just listing your gender is the same thing as listing your pronouns. And apparently saw at least some criticism for that, which is why she wrote this bullcrap in to handwave it away.

Here's some random highlights of Murderbot noticing and caring about ~human gender~. No these are not in any sort of order.

He stepped back, and glanced uncertainly at the other two, the second male human bodyguard and Tlacey, who was an augmented human female.

A woman with bridge crew insignia said blearily, “The rest of the crew— Is the supervisor—”

One was an older female human named Bellagaia

Two were female, and one was tercera, which was a gender signifier used in the group of non-corporate political entities known as the Divarti Cluster.

I could pick up some info from her interface. (Feedname: Eletra, gender: female, and an employee ID from a corporation called Barish-Estranza.)

Casualty Two (Feedname: Ras, gender: male, and another Barish-Estranza employee ID.)

still showing a static image of two male humans,

The B-E humans had their visors up, and we’d seen the lead human before. He was Sub-Supervisor Dellcourt (male/demi) and he was one of the smart ones, which was just how this day was going.

and if you need a reminder:

Senior Indah said, “The feed ID doesn’t need to say anything other than what everyone else’s says, just name, gender, and…” She trailed off. She was looking at me and I was looking at her.

I posted a feed ID with the name SecUnit, gender = not applicable, and no other information.

so yeah. Martha Wells' response to people pointing out the lack of pronouns ever being brought up is to handwave it away and blame it on the ~unreliable narrator~ even though that doesn't work when she's made it explicit that no one actually has their pronouns in their feed bios, just their gender. Because she equates sex with gender with pronouns.

In ten years or so there's gonna be a bunch of trans people who start talking about the implicit and explicit exorsexism, transmisia, and general biological essentialism in Martha Wells writing, including the Murderbot Diaries. And none of you are allowed to pretend that no one was criticizing it at the time she was publishing the books.

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the-delta-quadrant · 11 months

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Hello, I saw your post about not really liking the term nonbinary. You're not alone in that -- I don't really like it either!

do you use alternative terms or just, like, specific labels or just describe your gender without labels?

i feel like if maverique was more well known as a label i'd just go by that, but going by a more specific label really only works with stuff like bigender, agender, genderfluid, androgyne/ous as they're at least somewhat known by the general public. it also doesn't really work on forms, because even most of the forms that have more than male or female they mostly only have an extra nonbinary option

which is also kind of a problem when just describing my gender, cause that doesn't exist on forms. i actually already do that sometimes, i'll say that i'm not binary or i'm outside the binary or whatever, but it's clunky and i actually like having an adjective and/or noun because i feel like it puts my gender more on the same level as manhood and womanhood. like, men and women don't have to describe their genders, because everyone knows what men and women are (for the most part)

i also feel like a general umbrella term would be nice actually because i still very much align myself with other people who don't fit the binary and i would like to express that, as well as being able to talk about things that specifically affect us, and all of us, like exorsexism. it would feel disingenuous for me to talk about exorsexism but only talk about maveriques because obviously it affects all of us

but the problem with umbrella terms is there are always gonna be people who don't identify with the term

i love language but also it's hard lmao

#queer #mogai #lgbt #lgbtq+#gsrm #lgbt+#genderqueer #nonbinary #trans #maverique #enby #aphorian #abinary #aporagender #outherine #actually maverique

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its-me-renmimi · 2 years

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111 questions meme

Saw this going round on ToyHouse & wanted to do it here because why not? CW for: drug mention; exorsexism & heteronormativity (in terms of saying 'opposite sex'); kissing, making out, romance mentions; smoking mention.

1). Are you really ready for 111 questions? Ready as I'll ever be? Also I mean I'm choosing to do this so :3

2). Was your last real relationship a mistake? Never had one so...? Aro moments 💜

4). Who did you last say "I love you" to? My Mum!

5). Do you regret it? Not at all! I do love my Mum <3

6). Have you ever been depressed? Medically diagnosed? No. In that level of emotional state? Almost certainly.

7). Are you a boy? NO NO NO NO NO NO NEVER! I am very much an antiboy & a nonboy. The idea of me being a boy is super fucking blugh 😣

8). Are you a girl? One of my genders is literally Girl+ so I'd say so :3

9). What is your relationship status? Single ~!!

10). How do you want to die? Uhhh minimal pain ideally. Though if we're talking about in a joke way? Snuggled to death <3

11). What did you last eat? Soup! Very filling & tasty !! Scratch that since writing I had an anzac, yummy <3

12). Played any sports? Yeah, I used to play volleyball in primary school. I also used to be really into swimming but never competitively.

13). Do you bite your nails? Looking at my hands I am currently wearing 3 bandaids because of it, so I'd say yes :|

14). When was your last physical fight? No clue! Probably back when I was uh in primary school?

15). Do you have an attitude? Yeah.

16). Do you like someone? UH? Local aro says no to irl people but yeah I guess to fictional characters.

17). What is your real name? Hahahah what does it mean to be a 'real' name? If you mean my legal name fuck no you're not getting it. Far as you’re concerned my name is Void and my other listed names are fun nicknames ^^

19). Are you gonna get high later? I don't do drugs, so no.

20). Do you hate anyone at the moment? Other than myself? /hj

21). Do you miss someone? Yeah, I really do.

22). Twirl or cut your spaghetti? Twirl!

23). Do you tan a lot? If you mean do I try to get tan than no. If you mean do I have the skin-type in which I tan easily, than also no. I burn and then when it heals it's a tan. Plus I rarely go outside so xd

24). Have any pets? Yep yep!!! I have 1 very good girl! An older dog <3

25). How exactly are you feeling? Tired & cheerful? Or tired but in a good mood at least lol

26). Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yep yep! I don't drive so while other people are driving yes I have.

27). Ever made out in the bathroom? Never made out so no.

28). Would you take any of your exes back? Never dated so no.

29). Are you scared of spiders? Not anymore? I do not like it when they're in my room or near me but I don't think I'm scared of them anymore.

30). Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Uhhhh? Don't think so.

31). Do you regret anything from your past? Who doesn't? /srs Though if you want a story about something super non-important that I regret; still regret that time I got a bakugan instead of a plushie with my $20 when I was a little kid. It was, in my opinion, so much lamer :(

32). What are your plans for this weekend? Nothing! Just the way I like it ~!!

33). Do you want to have kids? No never. Being a parent is gross to me.

34). Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? Never kissed so no.

35). Do you type fast? Depends on who you ask. I mean, my typing speed is probably medium-fast I think.

36). Do you have piercings? Yeah, my ears.

37). Want any more? Hmmm, no? I do kind of enjoy wearing some clip on jewellery though ^^

38). Can you spell well? Also depends on who you ask. My ability to actually type words is far worse than my ability to spell them. I have a lot of bad muscle memory when it comes to certain words, plus the bandaids on my finger tips really don't help. Still not the best speller though lol

39). Do you miss anyone from your past? Yeah.....

40). What are you craving right now? Sleep. Maybe sugar. Mostly sleep though xd

41). Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah I think so! My memory is practically non-existent in a lot of regards but feel like I have. Well, suppose that depends on what a bonfire party actually is huh?

43). Have you ever been on a horse? Probably! I know I've been on a donkey & a camel at least :3

45). Have you ever broken someone's heart? Maybe? I don't know... if they miss me anywhere near as much as I miss them, I'd say so.

46). Have you ever been cheated on? Never been in a relationship so nope.

49). Would you live with someone without marrying them? Hell yeah! Aro moments 💜

50). What should you be doing? Guessing this means right now? Uh nothing, or uh sleeping I guess?

51). What's irritating you right now? I'm actually pretty chill at the moment.

52). Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? ?????????

54). What is your favorite color? Purple!!

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Does taking my bra off in the car on the way home from long events count? If so yes, if not no.

57). Do you have trust issues? No clue! Maybe? Maybe not?

62). Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? Don't have one so nothing.

63). Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mum.

64). Do you give out second chances too easily? Yes and no. Depends on what you did? Well, it's kind of like yes I will give you many chances until I just fucking won't anymore.

65). Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive?

66). Is this year the best year of your life? I literally couldn't say what the best year of my life is so unknown.

67). What was your childhood nickname? My parents called me Bella.

68). Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Basically the only time I am ever completely naked is when I am in the bathroom taking a shower/bath so fuck no.

70). Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Some things would be easier if that was the case, wouldn't they?

71). What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Watch youtube, probably.

73). What is bothering you? Friendship issues ig?

74). Have you ever been out of your state? Yep yep yep!! I've been every continent but 1 before ^^

75). Do you play the Wii? No </3

76). Are you listening to music right now? Nope!

77). Do you like Chinese food? Yeah, it's pretty great!

78). Do you know your fathers b- day? I don't know anyone's birthday but my own. My brain refuses to hold that information, ever.

79). Are you afraid of the dark? I am the dark :3

80). Is cheating ever okay? In relationships, no. In school, hell fucking yeah it is.

81). Are you mean? I'm scared I am.

82). Can you keep white shoes clean? Who wears white shoes? /lh These days, yes; since I don't leave the house. In general? Nah xd

84). Do you believe in true love? No.

88). Do you like the outside? Despite my lack of ever really going out there yes, I do like it outside.

89). Are you currently bored? I'm sleepy if that counts.

90). Do you wanna get married? Maybe for legal reasons but uh no.

91). Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Ew no.

92). Are you hungry? I had an anzac while writing this so nah :3

93). Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Still never made out so nooooooo. (Unless in fanfiction counts xd)

94). What makes you happy? Good question. Being thought of; my friends; watching certain youtubers; my dog; people liking my art; things like that.

95). Would you change your name? Legally? No. Socially? Maybe someday.

96). Ever been to Alaska? Nope, though doesn't mean I don't want to someday.

98). Do you watch the news? Fuck no.

99). What's your zodiac sign? Libra.

100). Do you like Subway? Never really had it but I think it's okay?

101). Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Considering they don't exist I'd say it would be pretty impossible.

102). Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Ignoring the heteronormative bs of the question; if a best friend of a gender I could be attracted to liked me? Well, it honestly depends on how cool they are with me being aro. Like, I could never love them romantically but that doesn't mean I might not be okay with doing typically romantic stuff with them? I'm not even against the idea of dating them, as long as we're both clear on where we stand. I am uh cupiro so it's not like I'm not cool with romance.

105). Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them? I can't remember.

106). Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act yourself around? Once again ignoring the heteronormativity; do I have any friends I can act myself around? Uh good fucking question. I mean, who am I? Not to get to existential but I don't think I could answer this question. Plus the funny brain problems don't make this any easier.

107). Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Fuck if I know? What the hell is the opposite of whatever I am anyways? Plus, i literally don't even know the genders (and definitely not sexes) of everyone I talk to.

108). Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? Personally, I wouldn't be able to tolerate a partner who smokes. Cig smoke makes me feel pretty ill and I don't think that would be any good for a relationship. Though, if it was a long distance / online only partner I guess I wouldn't care? I would worry for their health but?

109). Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? Fuck if I know. Probably my mum? Though technically the answer would be myself but I know that doesn't count.

110). Favorite lyrics right now? Bad memory means I don't know any lyrics. I also don't think i've ever really been one for having 'favourite lyrics'?

111). Can you count to one million? Theoretically I could, never tried though. I know all the numbers, it would just be a matter of saying them. Actually, typing them out would be preferable to having to say them;

'Tagging' anyone who wants to do this! Could also play it as an ask game if you want I reckon ^^

#tales from the void | text post #long post #questions meme #ask game #| Kinda #| Fingers crossed I don't out who I am with that stupid bakugan story /lh /hj #visit to the arcade | games

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nonbinaryresource · 5 years

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I’m nb/trans masc but am transitioning so I can pass as a cis male but I am openly trans. I’ve been taking T for several months but get misgendered as female more than half the time. I go to a lot of social gatherings and events, sometimes multiple-day trips. It’s common to ride share, take transport together, or room together. As expected, there are varying safety issues due to gender. I’m still treated as “female” and don’t get cis females being wary of me as they would a cis man and cite their own safety issues toward me. Also cis men treat me as more delicate or act protective. It has never come up much but they accept my transness, but I’m wondering if this is being they view me as really a female or because I don’t pass? Or is this really because I am trans, and trans safety is an issue too.

-tas

Sorry, this is gonna be a shorter one:

I’m not a mindreader, so I don’t know what’s going on in these people’s heads or hearts or subconcious’, but I would apply the principal of Occam’s razor here. They’re probably treating you as a cis woman because on some level, they view you as basically a cis woman because they still have work to do in tackling their learned cissexism/exorsexism/cisnormativite beliefs.

Whatever the reason, please just try not to internalize this. This isn’t happening because you’re not “trans enough” or don’t “pass enough” (nonsense concepts, the both of them). It’s because they still have work to do on themselves and confronting how they view gender.

Since you say they accept you being trans, you could plainly bring this up with people and ask them (the best judge of why they’re doing what they’re doing!) what they think. “I’ve noticed you have a tendency to treat me as fragile and delicate, for example when you [example of acting protective of you] when I really don’t feel I need protecting. Why is this?” or “This is kind of awkward to talk about, but sometimes when we talk about issues such as [example of issue] that don’t really impact me but do impact you, you talk about it like it does impact me instead of just sharing your own experience. Is this because you’re being cautious in including me or is there another reason?”

If these are people who knew you before you came out, it makes sense that they would know you and feel safe around you or otherwise have trouble altering their behaviors around you if they’ve always treated you a certain way. But though it may not be the easiest, it is always the most effective way to find out what someone is thinking if you ask the person who may be thinking it. ;3

~Tera

#mod tera #tas #relationships #communication #submission

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stopbleedingontheinside · 6 years

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Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes and “Genderfluid Drow”

Okay so there’s been some controversy lately over D&D Beyond’s video talking more about the drow (CN: biological essentialism in video, transphobia and exorsexism in comments) because the video talks (at the 10 minute mark) about certain elves, blessed by Corollan, who are able to ‘change their sex’, and are able to ‘decide whether they are male or female, or neither, depending on the elf’s choice’ after a long rest. I spoke about my opinion on this a little in OpenDND, the DND discord server I help run, but I thought I’d post a little of what what I think and hopefully clear up a few concerns and misconceptions that have been floating around. For the record, I am not genderfluid, but I am nonbinary, although I recognise that I cannot speak for genderfluid or for all trans people. This is purely my take on things, that I thought some folks here might be interested in.

Putting under a read more cos it gets kinda long, but the tl;dr is: some elves can quote unquote “change their sex”, this doesn’t make them automatically genderfluid or trans because that’s based on harmful assumptions about what sex and gender are and especially what genderfluidity is, and picking individual “body features” rather than assuming body features based on sex is a much less harmful way of framing it that isn’t linked to either sex or gender.

I think when the video refers to elves choosing their sex, assuming "oh they meant gender" is...mistaken. The idea of linking that with genderfluidity promotes harmful stereotypes about gender and transness as something within ones control, and gender as an outward presentation rather than an innate thing. Especially with the long rest aspect, there is a particularly harmful stereotype about genderfluid people "choosing what gender they're going to be when they wake up", which is not how it works because again a) gender isn't a choice and b) my understanding from talking with genderfluid people is that their innate sense of gender can change over the course of the day, or can remain static for a few days, and so on, and so linking it with “waking up” is reductive.

In terms of implementing this really exciting development as a DM or a player in a less potentially harmful way, you can adapt D&D Beyond/ Mordenkainen’s “sex” terminology without necessarily making it biologically essentialist (although the video itself does kinda make this mistake, I'm just reinterpreting it). Obviously there is no such thing as a "male" body or "female" body because sex is as much of a social construct as gender is, and even within, say, the conventional "cis non-intersex male body" bracket there are variations in body type and build. Reinterpreting it as "they can choose (within reason) their body features after a long rest" kinda negates the "sex" muckiness. I’d argue that changing things like height or weight or hair length/style wouldn’t be "within reason", but if you're gonna focus on elf mutability, reinterpreting it as body features enables a varied change of features such as facial features, shoulder/waist ratio, even primary and secondary sexual characteristics if you want, without linking those features to the concept of “sex”, or picking between a quote unquote “male body”, “female body” or “androgynous body” (bleh) upon waking from a trance.

So while this blessing from Corellon doesn’t automatically make an elf trans, it’s also worth considering (and getting excited about!) the possibilities for trans characters: for example, how having this blessing would affect that elf’s (and elf society’s tbh) understanding of sex and gender; or the idea of a trans elf who is on a quest to become worthy of such a blessing from Corellon through adventuring so they can gain the power to have the body that would feel right for them; and indeed a genderfluid elf who is fortunate enough to be able to change their body features to match how they feel internally after waking up from a trance.

If you are a cis (non-trans) DM or player who is interested in incorporating this aspect in your campaign, or incorporating trans characters, I’d recommend talking to trans people (my inbox is always open) about your ideas to check they are appropriate and respectful. There are also a number of articles out there written by trans people about writing trans people well, and I recommend this one, as well as the ‘Writing Trans’ series.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #mordenkainen's tome of foes #nonbinary #genderfluid #this is a long post i'm really sorry xD

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jamesnovakwinchester · 7 years

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Jimmy, Jemma, and Cas

Title: Jimmy, Jemma, and Cas AO3 Link Pairing: Castiel/Dean/Jimmy Square Filled: Gender Fluid Character Tags: Drag Queen!Jimmy, Gender Fluid!Cas, Drag Shows, Mentioned Homophobia, Mentioned Exorsexism, Characters referring to themselves as queer, Shy Sam, Sassy Jimmy Summary: Dean decides it’s time for Sam to meet his partners. And, what better way to do that than to take Sam to one of his boyfriend Jimmy’s drag shows?

Dean steered Sam club by his shoulders, pushing him into the crowd and towards the table in the front of the theater that had been reserved specially for the two of them. It was one of only a handful of clubs that Dean actually enjoyed going to, and that was more to do with the fact that it wasn’t even really a nightclub. It was more of a comedy club/community theater house/drag show venue than anything else.

Sam scoffed in front of him. “You know I can walk by myself, right?” He asked, dragging his feet a little.

“Yeah, but you’re a much better battering ram than I am so, make like Moses and part this sea of people for me, yeah?”

Dean could practically hear Sam’s eye roll. “You could just say excuse me.”

“Or I could use you to make them move.”

Dean continued to steer them forward until they ran into the table they were supposed to sit at. It was Dean’s usual table, one that had been his since he’d started going to drag shows and long before he and Jimmy ever started dating. As usual, there was a small vase holding two red roses sitting in the center of the table. Sam smirked at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to bring him flowers?” Sam asked, taking his seat.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Please. I’ve gotten roses here since before we started dating. And, I told you, in here, you refer to Jimmy as Jemma and it’s she, by the way.”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

“No harm, no foul. Just don’t let any of the queens hear you. They might slap you.”

Sam laughed.

“You think I’m kidding.”

“No, no, I don’t,” Sam frowned, fiddling with the end of the table cloth, “But I still don’t see why you’re dragging me to this show to meet your partners.”

“You’ve never been to a drag show, Jemma’s a drag queen, Cas is gonna be here, it’s three birds with one stone. Practicality, Sam! I figured you’d be all over that!”

Sam squinted at him, “but you could have just invited me to dinner to meet them.”

Dean shrugged, a small smile pulling at his lips as Sam continued to frown. If Sam was implying that Dean had an ulterior motive, well, he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew that your first drag show was a totally different experience, especially if you gave off that young, naïve, adorable vibe that Sam did. It wasn’t his fault, of course, he was just a twenty-something dude with shaggy hair and puppy dog eyes. And, Dean totally had to admit that Sam’s boyish charm had cute-d them out of several situations involving cops over the years. Drag queens, however, were a whole other thing. They all seemed to have some kind of radar that went off for prime embarrassment. Sweet, innocent little Sammy was going to be eaten alive and it was going to be glorious.

“We can have dinner after the show,” Dean said, “Cas usually wants pancakes anyway.”

“Where is Cas, by the way?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “Probably in the back, like always.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak when a queen in a yellow dress came up beside him, her arms crossed over her chest. “Dean Winchester,” she said, “how the hell have you been?” Sam jumped.

“Hey, Ivy! Long time, no see!” Dean said, rising to his feet. Ivy practically smothered him in a hug before retreated, brushing her honey brown curls from her face.

“God, I know. I’ve been busting my ass at work recently,” she rolled her eyes. “Good news is I’m up for a promotion, so, lucky me.”

“Good for you. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

Ivy smiled and shrugged, her shoulders bouncing her spiral curls. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is my brother, Sam. It’s his first show,” Dean said. Sam gave a timid wave before reaching his hand out. The force with which Ivy shook his hand showed on his face and when he pulled back to massage his hand. Dean barely withheld a chuckle.

“Oooh! A virgin!” Ivy said, “the girls are going to have so much fun with you,” she winked at Sam.

Dean smirked as Sam shot him a questioning look, “Yeah, just don’t be too hard on him when you’re on stage. Poor thing turns so red you can see him from space if you poke him enough.”

Sam shot Dean a bitch face at that.

“Oh, don’t worry about me, hon, I’m just singing tonight. Besides, it’s Jemma you gotta worry about. She loves the cute ones.”

Sam’s bitch face shot up another level as he glared at Dean.

“Oh, trust me, I’m counting on it.” Dean winked at Ivy, then tried to give Sam something of an innocent smile, but he knew the smug delight was clear on his face.

Ivy let out a hearty laugh and shoved at Dean’s shoulder. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?”

“I’m allowed. It’s in the big brother contract. I have exclusive rights to be an asshole and embarrass the shit out of my little brother at any and all opportunities.”

“Well, Sam,” Ivy said, turning towards him, “you’re always welcome to come find me if he gets to be too much. I wouldn’t mind taking care of you.” Ivy cooed. A faint blush started to work it’s way up Sam’s cheeks. Ivy shook her head. “You’re right, Dean, he is too easy.”

Dean shrugged.

“Well, you too have fun. And try not to get too embarrassed, Sam. It’s all good fun.” And with that Ivy flitted off to talk to another table.

Dean sat back down and called the waitress over. Sam’s cheeks were still pink but he was scowling.

“You brought me here to embarrass me?” Sam asked.

“Would you believe me if I told you that she works for the police department? I mean, probably, ‘cause she’s got one hell of a grip.”

“Dean.”

Dean shrugged. “It’s a bonus more than anything, honestly. But, hey! Four birds with one stone! That’s like a record or something!”

“You’re an asshole. I should call Brady to pick me up.”

“Awh, Sam, don’t quit now. We aren’t even started yet! Besides, if you call your boyfriend to pick you up he’s probably just going to want to stay.”

Sam huffed and rolled his eyes. “Fine. But I’m getting you back for this.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Dean said.

The waitress came around then, taking their drink orders and walking away without another word. The lights began to dim them, and Dean scooted himself closer into the table. The conversations in the room dropped to hushed tones as the wait staff hurried to finish getting everyone their drinks and appetizers. The band ushered in, too, setting themselves at the drums, keyboards, and horns upstage.

A few moments later, the lights on the stage turned on and the MC for the night welcomed everyone to the show. His name was Chuck, and he the squirrelliest guy Dean had ever known. He also wasn’t very good in front of a crowd, so why he insisted on introducing every event made no sense to Dean.

The first act was a rendition of Donna Summer’s Bad Girls by a new girl named Layla Honey. Dean had seen her around once or twice but hadn’t really spoken to her before. She did a good enough job though, especially with the live band playing behind her. She sang something else that Dean was only half paying attention. He was much more focused on Sam, who seemed to be enjoying himself, which was good enough for Dean. He really did want Sam to have a good time, even if he was also looking forward to seeing him squirm under the attention he would undoubtedly get later.

The next two acts were musical numbers as well, on by a queen Dean had never heard of before and the other by Ivy Gene, the one performer Sam had met earlier that night. She’d pulled her hair up into an updo and had a simple diamond pendant around her neck. In the light on stage, Dean could see that her dress was actually more of a gold color, and it shimmered in the light. Dean was more than a little amused to see the way Sam’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head when she hit the high notes of I Will Always Love You. The crowd went wild as she moved around the stage with practiced ease, her head held high. She really did own the stage. Dean made sure he and Sam both tipped her a little extra.

Sam started to squirm a little after Ivy left the stage, leaning over to whisper in Dean’s ear, “I swear the more I see her, I know that voice. Why do I know that voice?”

Dean snickered. “I’ll tell you later,” he said back, over the very appreciative crowd.

“Hey,” Sam asked, “is this a good time to bounce, ‘cause I have to pee.”

Dean glanced at his watch as Chuck stepped out to announce the next act. “Yeah, no. Intermission’s after this, so you’ll be good.”

And then Chuck announced Ms. Jemma Sparkles as the next act. Dean really couldn’t help the smile the spread across his lips even as Sam rolled his eyes.

Jemma walked out on stage, pretty much ignoring the audience at first. She was wearing a dark blue evening gown with a slit up the left leg, her black guarder clearly visible. Her long dark hair was curled at the ends and draped over a single shoulder. In her right hand, she had a glass of bourbon, which she drank from before even bothering to look at the audience.

The crowd, a little thrown off by the whole ordeal, sat there, whispering to themselves until someone in the back piped up “What are you gonna sing?”

Jemma rolled her eyes and snorted into the microphone. “Bitch, you want a song you get your ass up here and sing it yourself. Do I look like a trained parrot to you? Wait, don’t answer that.”

The crowd laughed, and Dean nudged Sam’s foot under the table. Sam rolled his eyes but he was laughing, too.

“Are you gonna sing?” Jemma rolled her eyes, wrenching the microphone from its stand, “no, I just planned on telling you to fuck off for twenty minutes until you gave me money.”

The crowd chuckled.

“Anyway, how the hell are you all?”

The crowd wooed.

“What the fuck was that? Woo? Woo is not an emotion, people. How the hell are you actually?”

There was then a muttered chorus of “good” and “fine” and a few enthusiastic “great’s” from the back.

“See, that’s better. How many drag virgins we got in the crowd tonight?”

A few hands went up here and there, but not Sam’s. He kept his eyes down. Dean coughed, kicking Sam under the table, but Sam kept his head down, squinting at Dean through his bangs. Dean rolled his eyes and coughed a little louder, just loud enough to get Jemma’s attention as he pulled Sam’s arm into the air. Sam looked up, blushing a bit and the smile Jemma gave the both of them was wicked.

“Hey there, cutie,” she said.

Sam flushed.

“Awh, this one’s shy,” she cooed.

There were a few chuckles in the crowd as she walked to the edge of the stage and sat down, swinging her legs over the edge. She battered her eyelashes at him, smiling sweetly.

“What’s your name cutie pie?”

“Sam,” Sam muttered.

“What was that?”

“Sam,” Sam said a little louder.

“Hi, Sam,” she cooed. Sam dipped his head. He was now closer in color to a tomato than a human, and Dean had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“Awh. God, I wish you in the back could see this. He’s positively adorable. I could just eat him up!” Jemma said, “Anyway, Sam, you said this is your first drag show?”

“Yeah, um, yes. It is.”

“How you likin’ it so far?”

“It’s good.”

“Having fun?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s good. Fun.”

“You don’t sound too convincing.”

“No, it’s fun. Really. I’m having a good time,” Sam said, scratching his neck as he let his eyes meet Jemma’s.

“You sure, ‘cause if you’re not having a fun time, I’m sure I could think of something that might make it more exciting. A strapping young man like you, I’m sure we could have all kinds of fun.” Jemma smirked, raising a single eyebrow.

The crowd whistled and catcalled. Dean snorted and Sam withered, tucking his face into his shoulder. Jemma laughed, jumping down off the stage.

“What about you, there in the back, the loud guy. Your first show?” Jemma asked.

Dean slipped her a twenty as she passed by.

“Yeah!” The same guy from earlier called out.

“What was your name?” Jemma asked.

“Dick!”

Jemma snorted. “You wish!”

Dean giggled. Sam, still a little embarrassed from earlier, reached for his drink and down half of it.

“Seriously, you go by Dick?”

The guy hollered out an affirmation and Jemma chuckled, flipping her hair back over her shoulder. “Honey, if you have to advertise…”

Whatever Dick said in response was drowned out by the crowd.

“Seriously, you don’t see me going by Candy Ass and I technically could.”

“It’s short for Richard,” someone else shouted out.

“Well no shit, of course, it is! If you keep calling yourself Dick people are gonna assume that!”

Jemma continued to rag on the audience for a while, cracking dirty jokes at their and her own expense. She moved through the crowd for a while, then eventually moved back towards the stage to finish her set. Sam had finally loosened up and was laughing along by the time the Jemma was finished and disappeared backstage.

The lights went back on for intermission, and Sam was finally able to get up and pee while Dean ordered them more drinks. By the time Sam came back, a few of the queens were walking around, greeting their friends and family members.

“So, what do you think, Sam?” Dean asked.

Sam frowned and poked at the ice in his whiskey sour with a stir stick. “You’re still an ass.”

“I’m still an ass but…”

Sam rolled his eyes. “It’s kinda fun.”

Dean slapped him on the shoulder. “Ha! I knew it! You’re having a good time.”

Sam tried to shoot him a frown, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his lips. “Yeah, well, aside from getting called out in front of the entire crowd.”

“Oh, come, on. You got off easy,” Dean said.

“Yeah, you could’ve been Dick,” a voice came from behind Sam. He jumped, turned to find Jemma smiling down at both of them.

“Hey, babe,” Dean said.

Jemma blew a kiss at him.

“You weren’t too embarrassed, were you Sam?” Jemma asked, frowning a little.

“Nah. It wasn’t too bad,” Sam shrugged.

“Be thankful I didn’t ask about band camp. Dean wanted me to bring that up for some reason,” Jemma said.

“Seriously, Dean? Band camp? That was like, ten years ago!” Sam squawked, kicking Dean in the shin.

Dean doubled over, clutching his leg. “Yeah, but it was funny. And it’s not my fault you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant from kissing her.”

“Shove it, Dean,” Sam said.

“Older siblings, right? We’re assholes,” Jemma said, setting her arm across Sam’s shoulders, her manicured nails digging into Sam’s left shoulder. “Now, I’m glad I didn’t ask.”

Sam smiled.

“Speaking of siblings, where’s Cas?” Dean asked.

Jemma frowned, whipping her head around a few times. “Fuck. I think I lost Cas. Sam, have you seen anyone that looks just like me but in a pink blouse?”

Dean snorted. “Babe, you look nothing like Cas, right now.”

Jemm rolled her eyes. “Okay. Like me but with a lot less eye shadow and a really short pixie cut?”

Sam shrugged.

“Crap. Well,” Jemma said, patting Sam on the shoulder, “if I don’t come back before intermission is up, just meet us at the waffle house, yeah?”

“You got it!” Dean said.

Jemma started to walk away, but stopped and turned to face Sam head on. “Oh, Sam,” she said, “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself at your very first show.”

“Thanks, Jemma,” Sam said.

“And, I consider it the highest honor to be able to pop my boyfriend’s brother’s cherry.” She winked, and Sam shook his head, only blushing slightly this time.

Jemma didn’t return before the intermission ended, and the last four acts were a mix of musical, comedy, and one incredibly athletic dance number. He did get a kick out of some of the more outrageous drag persona’s though, and Sam definitely seemed a little taken aback by one that looked a little if Crayola put on an opera performance. Dean was pretty sure that was Mama Belle Lafitte, but he wasn’t totally sure. She’d been experimenting with show persona’s recently, so it was really anyone’s guess as to what she was going to look like from show to show. Once the lights came back on and everyone was clear to leave, Dean and Sam headed out, down towards the waffle house Dean usually met Cas and Jimmy at after one of Jimmy’s shows.

They arrived first, naturally, holding up in a booth and letting the waitress know they’d be needing for menus and coffees.

“So,” Sam asked, dumping a single creamer into his coffee cup, “that was interesting.”

Dean snorted. “Interesting good or interesting bad?”

“Good interesting. It was definitely different, though.”

“Well, yeah. What do you expect? Something tame?”

“Well, no. I guess I just wasn’t sure what to expect.”

“That’s good though,” Dean said, “keeps you on your toes.”

“Yeah, I guess. Hey! Who was that drag queen in the gold dress?”

“Ivy?”

“Yeah, I could’ve sworn I knew her from somewhere. The voice is just super familiar.”

Dean chuckled. “You remember that cop that pulled us over last fall coming back from your boyfriend’s party?”

“No shit!”

“Yeah.”

“He was cool. He didn’t even notice the weed in the car.”

“Oh, he noticed. He still gives me shit about it sometimes, he’s just cool like that. Oh! Hey, here they come,” Dean nodded towards the door, where Cas and Jimmy were talking to the hostess. Cas, as Jimmy had mentioned before, was in a pink blouse and slacks. Jimmy was wearing a baseball shirt and blue jeans, his short hair sticking up every which way and the barest amount of glitter on his skin, glimmering in the light.

The hostess walked them over to the booth Sam and Dean were sitting at, and they sat down, Cas sliding in gradually while Jimmy just plopped down, throwing an arm over the back of the booth.

The waitress gave them a moment to sort out their order, leaving the four of them alone. Neither Cas nor Jimmy touched their menus, however. It had become enough of a routine that they didn’t need to anymore.

“Okay, Sam, you’ve met my boyfriend, Jimmy,” Dean said. Jimmy gave a goofy little salute before picking up his coffee.

“And, this is my paramour, Castiel,” Dean said.

“It’s a pleasure to meet, you, Sam,” Cas said, sticking out a hand, “Dean’s told us nothing but great things about you.”

“Thanks,” Sam said, shaking Cas’s hand, “I’ve heard good things about the both of you, too.”

“Awh, Dean talks about us,” Jimmy said, elbowing Cas in the ribs. “Oh, by the way, I didn’t embarrass you too badly today, did I? You were pretty red and I don’t wanna be that asshole. So, If I was a dick you can tell me.”

“Nah, it was okay,” Sam said. “It wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened. And Dean’s done worse.”

Dean looked down at the menu in front of him. He didn’t really need it, he knew what he was going to get already, he just wanted to make it less obvious that he was watching Sam and trying to gauge his reaction to things. He’d seemed pretty okay about the whole polyamory thing when he told Sam about it, but it would be harder to fake acceptance when the truth was right in front of you.

But Dean could see the cogs turning in Sam’s head and the way his eyes drifted from Jimmy’s manicured nails to the hoop earrings in Cas’s ears.

“So, uh,” Sam said, leaning in closer to Cas, “I know that when Jimmy’s doing a show it’s Jemma right? And you go by she?” Jimmy nodded, a single eyebrow raised as he sipped his coffee. “But, when you’re not it’s Jimmy. But, uh, I don’t want this to sound rude but no one has referred to you by anything other than your name so what should I use, pronoun wise, Cas?” Sam asked.

“I like this one,” Jimmy said, smiling.

“No one told you?” Cas asked.

Sam’s eyes got a little wider and he shook his head.

Cas huffed, smacking Jimmy in the arm. Jimmy just had enough time to pull the coffee cup away from his mouth so it sloshed on the table and not his lap. “What!”

“You were being rude! You should’ve said something to Sam. You knew we were supposed to meet him today and you didn’t say anything.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes, pulling a handful of napkins out of the dispenser in the center. “Sorry, Cas but I was a little busy at the time, looking for you, might I add, and I didn’t know if it was my place.”

“And what’s your excuse, Dean?” Cas asked, leveling a serious stare in his direction.

Dean threw up his hands. “I didn’t think… I didn’t know if you wanted me to tell him.”

Cas groaned. “My apologies, Sam. “She” is fine for today. I’m sorry our brothers are idiots and didn’t think to tell you.”

“In my defense, I didn’t know,” Dean said, “It’s not like everyone in the world knows.”

Cas rolled her eyes. “You could’ve told your brother that off the bat.”

“I didn’t think it was my place to tell him,” Dean said, “isn’t it rude to just, I dunno, out someone without their knowledge?”

Cas huffed. “It’s not outing if everyone knows. You told him we’re dating, and you told him you and Jimmy were dating. How is that all that different.”

“I’m sorry?” Dean said.

“Well, in his defense, it’s new to him,” Jimmy said. “He’s never dated anyone who’s not a dude before.”

Cas shook her head back and forth, bringing her cup of coffee up to her lips. “Fine. But consider this a new rule. You can your family you’re dating a genderfluid person.”

“Got it,” Dean said.

“But as for you,” Cas turned to face Jimmy, who slunk away from Cas’s gaze.

“Yeah, but he’s not my brother so… same applies?” Jimmy said.

Cas sighed. “Alright. Fine. But now that you know, Sam, she or he is fine for me. But if I tell you to use one specifically on a specific day, use that.”

“Got it,” Sam said, picking up his menu.

Dean caught the small smile Cas and Jimmy shared before the waitress returned and took their orders. They settled into the usual boring conversations after that, talking about what Cas and Jimmy did for a living and what Sam was majoring it. All in all the three of them seemed to get along really well. Sam and Cas got to talking about some literary theory after Cas mentioned she was a professor and Sam after a while Sam eventually started returning Jimmy’s lighthearted jabs.

“So, I’d been meaning to ask,” Sam said over his waffle, “how’d you wind up getting into drag, Jimmy?”

Jimmy laughed, shooting Cas a questioning glance. Cas nodded and she began to speak.

“When we were in high school I had a lot of bullies. I used to paint my nails on the weekend, but once I forgot to get rid of it before Monday morning. Several boys were not impressed. Jimmy stood up for me, and we both got our asses kicked.”

“But from then on,” Jimmy said, “I decided that no one was going to make my twin feel like shit for dressing the way she wanted. So, when Cas wore nail polish, I wore makeup. Granted, it was busted as all hell, but I was a seventeen-year-old boy so what the fuck did I know about makeup? But if Cas wore a skirt, I wore a dress. If Cas wore earrings, I wore the most ostentatious necklace and rings and earrings I could get my hands on. I still got the shit kick outta me, but I was more of a target than Cas was. And, I kinda liked the dresses. Not in the way Cas does, mind, but I’ve always been a drama queen and the performance aspect was fun. So, drag just seemed like a fun way to express myself.”

“Did they eventually stop?” Sam asked.

Jimmy snorted, “yeah, when we graduated.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, “that’s horseshit.”

Jimmy shrugged. “Some people just can’t accept raging queers. Fuck ‘em. They’re worse off for not knowing us as people if you ask me.”

“Still,” Sam said.

“The world is full of douchebags,” Cas said, “but it’s also full of really nice and accepting people. The bigotry of other people isn’t my problem. And I’m in a better place, now.”

“Well, I’m glad for that,” Sam said.

There was an awkward silence for a while then.

“But, you know, speaking of drag,” Jimmy said, pointing his fork at Dean, “I’ve been trying to convince this one to give it a shot. He’d be great if you ask me.”

Sam smirked. “You know, I think you might be right.”

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled. “Getting you three together was a bad idea, wasn’t it?”

“Undoubtedly,” Cas said, finishing a bite of pancake, “but now that there’s three of us we’ll get you in a dress yet.”

Tagging: @wingsandimpalas @jamalona , @justanothersaltandburn @deadlykittenkay @dragonpressgraphics @dreamsfromthebunker @dmsilvisart @princessjimmynovak @maliciouslycreative @destielonfire @purgatoan

#spnpolybingo #casdeanjimmy #cas/dean/jimmy #deanjimstiel #gender fluid character #homophobia mention #exorsexism mention #i wrote this #reading list

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rjalker · 2 years

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Anyways unless you're gonna tell transfems they're not allowed to use the word transmisogyny because the person who created it is exorsexist, homophobic, and transandrophobic, then no, you have literally ZERO right to tell transmascs they can't use the word transandrophobia because the person who created it is transmisogynistic.

Either the rules apply to everyone, or they don't apply at all. You can't have it both ways.

Especially when I have literally never seen a single fucking person talk about or even acknowledge how exorsexist, homophobic, and transandrophobic Julia Serano is until after I had to find out the hard way by reading it in one of her two fucking books that I spent $40 fucking dollars buying online when I could have spent that money on food. Literally not a single fucking peep about her fucking bigotry until after I had to find out the hard way. And even once I started looking, you know what I found? One single other solitary fucking person..

And everyone else is just dead fucking silent, because apparently transphobia and homophobia is okay as long as it's a trans woman perpetuating it!

Either you think words should be dropped like a fucking hot potato if the person who coined them is a bigot, or you don't. But you have to fucking pick one. You can't fucking have it both ways. It's no more fucking okay for a trans woman to be a transphobe than it is for a trans man to be a transphobe. They're both shitty fucking people, but if you decide that only one of them actually counts as being shitty, guess what? You're a fucking bigot!

Julia Serano's literal entire foundation for her argument that trans women are more oppressed than any other trans people is literally founded on her fucking lying about trans men and nonbinary people. It's literally fucking founded on her being racist and exorsexist and assigning trans men Schrödinger's fucking Privilege to whatever suits her current argument.

I do not expect transfem people to drop the word transmisogyny. They deserve a word to talk about the specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny that they face as transfem people.

But I do fucking expect everyone to shut the absolute fuck up about how transmasc people can't use the word transandrophobia or any other variation to talk about the specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny they face.

If you agree that transfem people deserve to have the word transmisogyny to talk about their personal experiences with oppression, and you agree that nonbinary people deserve to have the word exorsexism to talk about their personal experiences with oppression, then you must also fucking agree that transmasc people deserve to have the word transandrophobia to discuss their personal experiences with oppression.

If you think anyone who uses the word transandrophobia is automatically a bad person because the person who coined it is a bad person, but have no problem with people using the word transmisogyny despite the person who created it also being a bad person, you are literally upholding double standards and being a massive fucking bigot.

You are literally just admitting that you think trans men and nonbinary people being oppressed isn't a big deal or something worth getting upset about.

Either apply the rule equally, to everyone, or stop pretending like you actually care about trans people's oppression.

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