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moonlightsapphic · 1 year

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Look, I just need you guys to understand how important queer coming-of-age forbidden romances on internationally accessible platforms like Netflix is, especially to youth in countries where homosexuality still hasn't been legally decriminalised or socially accepted.

That was a mouthful, so let me explain. You, a white American adult with a liberal family, may not relate to a fictional anxious teen Swedish prince grappling with strict familial and societal expectations versus his first love. You may not find anything special in a bunch of queer British teens discovering themselves and figuring out complex relationships that are honestly rather simplistic, in retrospect. It might be a little too trite for you. Like, just a little vanilla without any extra drama. Perhaps corny—cringe, even. Too wholesome.

But you know what that is to me, a desi queer young adult? It's representation, in an unlikely place. My country certainly isn't making movies or shows where I see my secret relationship between me and my girlfriend portrayed. I don't see that happening in the next couple of decades, either, sadly. But you know who’s telling our stories? Alice Oseman. Lisa Ambjörn, Lars Beckung and Camilla Holter. Through fictional storylines that might seem kind of boring to you, I am finally able watch my lived experiences play out on screen.

American media has done such a disservice to queer coming-of-age stories. I want to scream this from the rooftops. Y’all, I’m glad to see more out quirky queer side-characters—I can’t get enough of them—but why is it so rarely their story, in sharp focus, about how they found themselves? I want to know how they overcame internalised homophobia. When was the moment they knew? What is the cost they have to pay for being out? For not being out?

And no, I don’t want it to be dramatic. I don’t need to see violence or betrayals or victorious kisses in public, really. I’m happiest with the teenagers behaving like real teenagers. Innocent, vulnerable, nervous. I want it to be heartfelt, and excruciatingly slow, and authentic. I want to see the small wins and the subtle losses. The quiet mental toll of how much you have to give to a queer relationship—especially your first queer relationship—and how hard that can be to separate from your Identity itself.

Give me that "am I gay?" quiz and genuinely crying at 3:00 AM because you're in a rabbit hole about LGBTQ+ rights in a country where you actually don’t want to be gay and you don’t even know if you “count” anyway. Show me that moment where you're going back and forth from forbidding yourself from seeing the one person that sees and understands you and it's to protect your mental and physical well-being but it's driving you insane. Give me ALL THE YOUNG ADULT BI+ AWAKENINGS where one person strolls into your life and changes everything. No, it’s really not the same as most cis-heterosexual insta-love movies out there, even if it looks that way to you. It doesn’t even cut it close.

The happy ending, the acceptance is only what I can dream of, not what I can expect. The wholesomeness is actually radical to me.

No, we’re not past the need for basic star-crossed queer romances. For most countries in the world (including for many white American teenagers!), we need them as much as ever.

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toorumlk · 1 month

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Hi I'm so freaking obsessed with your twitter.

Also what's your favorite Romione moment in the books and why?

ohohoho thank you, friend, i’m quite proud of some of the stuff i’ve posted on there B)

and as for my favourite romione moment in the books, when i read the question i first blanked out for a couple minutes, thinking of a bunch of smaller, sillier scenes. but then i remembered that i do have a favourite and it’s from chapter 11 of DH, when remus visited the trio at grimmauld place and filled them in on he goings on of the war -including the implementation of the muggle-born registry. ron’s response upon hearing this (after his immediate outrage) was

and it’s not just the hand holding and the “‘you won’t have a choice’ said Ron fiercely” that played out so vividly in my head like this:

but this scene demonstrates so perfectly the political weight of this pairing (muggleborn/blood traitor) which i think is the immovable narrative foundation of romione. all of their silly moments and idiosyncrasies aside, there is genuine narrative purpose behind this love. ron has always had an astute understanding of the blood supremacist politics of the wizarding world (need i remind that he was ready to curse shitco at the ripe age of 12 for calling hermione the in-universe slur) and just how wrong it is. ron is a pure-blood wizard and by design has so much privilege in this society bc of it, but by virtue of having parents like arthur and molly, he’s grown up knowing the importance of fighting against blood supremacist ideology. always.

so, after hearing about the completely horrifying muggleborn registry ("People won't let this happen," said Ron. "It is happening, Ron," said Lupin.), he immediately turns to his muggleborn best friend and love of his life and says “i’m making you a family member, i’m going to use the protection my family-name has and use it to protect you from the awful injustice of our situation, no you won’t have a choice but to let me help you”

i remember having such a… visceral reaction while reading this scene like holy shit .. these kids, THESE KIDS!!!!! this is the bone-marrow-deep love that makes me feel insane. this dynamic of the blood traitor/muggleborn always there, from CoS all the way to the epilogue. We get to see that romione is the story’s pure blood/muggleborn that finally made it (rip jily and tedromeda :(). we see it in hermione keeping her muggle last name after they get married (oh my god these two actually got married) and we also see it in the hyphenated Granger-Weasley (granger being first!) in their kids’ last names (oh my gof these two had TWO kids). they are a true symbol of change and progress in their world.

also this is one of those moments where i’m so glad that our only window to romiones relationship development is through harry’s narration because it so brilliantly shows the readers this blossoming love story instead of just telling us about it because harry obviously doesn’t have access to the inner thoughts of his two best friends, he can only witness them fall deeper in love. showing the audience acts of love is always more powerful and my god is this an act of showing your love to your beloved.

(and not to go on an unrelated tangent, but this is exactly why i could never ship my girl hermione w any DE or DE-adjacent character. no fucking way. not when the concept of a muggle-born registry exists in this universe, not when the antagonists in this story wish to eradicate people like her from their society. idk about the rest of y’all but im going to keep taking the narrative seriously bc the worldbuilding obviously has real world ties/implications and i like engaging with the canon. tangently to the tangent, i saw someone (a ron basher) on twitter say that ron, OUR RON FROM THE ABOVE EXCERPT, was “one bad day away from becoming a death eater” ohhhh ohhh i ought to beat you with sticks bc HUH? this is the same kid who said he would’ve boarded the train back to kings cross if he got sorted to slytherin, the house notorious for birthing DEs, at the tender age of 11)

anyways, all this to say is that romione is incredibly, realistically, materially romantic and i love them and i love their love <3

#romione #harry potter #harry potter and the deathly hallows #pro romione #bc duh #romione meta #hp meta #harry potter meta #toorumlk #nusreplies #my art #bc the hands #ron weasley defense squad

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bengiyo · 5 months

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Not sure if you’ve already answered this one or not but I’m curious what your top 5 BL character development moments/achievements would be?

My personal fave is Charn’s process of opening his heart to Tin and how it changed him but didn’t detract from his sassiness.

Hmm, this is an interesting one to consider. It requires the character to change in some way. It's notable because a lot of times it only happens for one of them.

Alex from The Warp Effect

I actually really like the arc for Alex. I think seeing a character reckon with the consequences of his choice or lack of choices was really well done in this show. I like that part of learning for him was about how his people pleasing hurts the people he's trying to appease and making the choice to take better care of the people around him by being a more active participant in his own life.

Nakamichi Misaki from Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend

I think I really liked how much she learned that she can choose the kind of relationships she wants from the people around her. I like that so much of her learning about what kinds of love are possible is grounded in her genuine love for Yuki. I have some complex thoughts about where the show chooses to end, but I like how assured she seems about her own life by the end of this compared to the way she seemed trapped at the beginning.

Uea from Bed Friend

Continuing even into Middleman's Love, I really love that Uea learned that he doesn't have to dim himself. He is beautiful. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not his fault that people treat him a certain way. He is also unwell. I'm glad he admitted that and is getting help. I'm glad he's built a support network that knows about his struggles so they can take care of him. I'm glad he severed ties with his horrible mother. He is thriving as himself and not who he was told to be.

Kawi from Be My Favorite

In so many ways I thought Kawi was an incel at the start of the show. I like that so much of his arc was about seeing people around himself in a kinder way, and also treating himself more kindly. I like that he had to face that no matter what he tries he will always eventually lose his dad. Grief is one of the constants of being alive. Everything dies, and so we have learn to cherish what we have and accept that nothing lasts forever. I actually came to like Kawi by the end of the series and could see what Pisaeng saw in him originally.

Amane in If It's With You

I love this boy, and I love how much he's comfortable with the fact that he's attracted to men. I like that his journey with Ryuji is learning that he doesn't have to skip over the cute stuff about first love and run directly to the apps and hookup culture. I like how, even though I wasn't necessarily keen on the chaste ending, it didn't feel like Amane regressed into a sexless being. It's hard for a lot of us who didn't get to have these cute experiences as teens. Dating is hard. We didn't get to practice in simpler settings. I like seeing Amane get a second chance at high school love and blossom as a result.

Ask Me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

#answered #best of bl 2023 #Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo #if it's with you #bed friend #me my husband and my husband's boyfriend #Watashi to Otto to Otto no Kareshi #be my favorite #the warp effect

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hazshit-hotel-hater · 23 days

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The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

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the-bi-space-ace · 2 months

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Hey so I just read your mini essay on the complexity of Crosshair’s beliefs and experiences with loyalty (rip my heart out, why don’t you), and I’m curious about your insights into Hunter’s personality, because out of all of them, he’s the most difficult for me to get a read on. Like, he cares about Omega and the squad, but do we actually see much of his personality beyond the caregiver?

To me he doesn’t show emotional clarity/steadfastness like Wrecker, or loyalty like Crosshair, or duty like Echo, and ambition like Tech. He generally takes things in quietly and seems to have become more indecisive as the show progresses (which makes sense cuz the batch suddenly went from a 100% success rate on missions to “everything that can go wrong does go wrong”). But I want to know Hunter better!! What are your thoughts and opinions?

Hi! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply. I just really wanted to think it through and post something in depth. I’m glad you read the Crosshair post (even if it did rip your heart out, I’m so sorry <3). To be completely honest with you I had no idea what to say about Hunter at first but I’ve given it a few days to think and I actually have a few things that I want to discuss.

Caveat that when I watch The Bad Batch I’m not usually focused on Hunter. Primarily because I just connect with the personalities of the rest of the batch more. There’s no problem with connecting with certain characters more than others, it is just personal preference 😊

Regardless, I have some thoughts, and I am genuinely so excited to talk about this after giving it a few days to think about what my full opinion is.

With the caveat in mind I have some opinions on Hunter that fuel my own viewpoint on his character and how I tend to write him in my own fanfics. To me Hunter has always been very… closed. Even in the Clone Wars he tends to stand back, be silent, only really speaking to give orders, question plans, or occasionally make fun of the rest of the 99. Despite the batch’s tendency to disregard orders and regulation (for better or for worse) Hunter has always thrived under direct understanding of where he stands. That’s why he works well with people like Cody and Rex. They give him clear… not exactly direction but something similar. He understands the rules. He knows how to break them. When the rules change with Order 66 he is thrust into something uncomfortable and instead of taking the problem and tackling it he just doesn’t do that. I am certainly not the first to point out that Hunter is avoidant. He always was.

He lets the batch get into fights and he doesn’t step in until he absolutely needs to. He doesn’t jump to defend immediately - typically, although there are exceptions.

(The way he defends Crosshair from Howzer in S3 E6 comes to mind. I’m still tossing that moment around as a repair attempt tbh. They’ve fought and hashed out some of the messy bits and now they are quietly proving to each other that they’re willing to patch things up.)

He lets his squad sort things out on their own and when it gets out of hand he’ll step in. Hell, I think the best example of this is actually when Rex punches Crosshair. Hunter never actually steps into that fight and I think it is partially because of this avoidant tendency. (The rest maybe because he knew Crosshair bit off more than he could chew and he was willing to let a swift right hook teach that lesson.) We actually see Wrecker step up to defend the squad more than Hunter does. This makes sense to me - Wrecker is big and intimidating and Crosshair and Tech tend to be mouthy. Hunter might be the sergeant of this squad but he certainly isn’t the sole protector nor should he be. (Hunter is still protective - the clones we meet tend to be - just not in the exact ways the rest of them are.)

This avoidance is why we see him ignore the Crosshair situation and latch onto giving Omega a normal life. I am not going to pretend that I like the way he ignores this situation but he reacted exactly how I expected him to. He was thrust into the unknown and without the proper rules he ended up throwing all of his attention onto one thing he felt like he could control. I’ve known plenty of people who do that. Hell, I’ve done that. That doesn’t mean it is the healthiest way to deal with pain or loss or grief. It’s a coping mechanism.

Once he’s sure it’s the chip controlling Crosshair he really latches onto this idea that if they just take the chip out then everything will be fine and dandy. In the same way that Crosshair latches onto this idea that if the batch just joins the empire that they can be whole again.

They’re both wrong.

You can tell he’s really internalized this idea of taking out the chip and everything fixing itself and when that dream is shattered he continues to disappear inside of himself. When things aren’t as simple as taking the chip out to bring Crosshair home he’s angry that suddenly this is more than just a simple fix and he doesn’t know where he stands anymore. There’s anger and hurt directed at him and the rest of the batch and he gets defensive because he thinks there shouldn’t be. He gets increasingly angry and much more confrontational than we’ve seen him be with Crosshair so far. Another worldview shattered, another chip in his already fragile armor, another reason to be fucking pissed. His anger at Crosshair finally pushed him into action, away from avoidance. Is it healthy? Still no. But none of them are really experts at coping. At least he’s letting it out. At least it is in the open. At least we are seeing his emotions bubble over onto the surface. That is what makes me personally interested. Those messy, painful, unhelpful emotions wreacking havoc and making things worse.

We see Hunter buckle down and let his anger fester. I think he continues to do that all the way through season 2 and his conflict with Echo isn’t helping. I have an entire post somewhere in my drafts about Echo and Hunter’s joint leadership but I’ll boil it down to a few points to focus them on Hunter.

Hunter needs a second in command especially now. He isn’t at his best as a leader and maybe that’s not really what the batch needs right now. The GAR is gone. Their lives are upside down. He needs support but he won’t ask for it - stubborn as hell he is. That’s why Echo really helps. I rewatched the seasons specifically to focus on Echo and I think we can see signs of his and Hunter’s joint leadership from the very beginning even before Hunter needs him for support. In a world of uncertainty you need someone to hold on to, someone to help make decisions. His conflict with Echo in season two is just making him more unsteady. The prospect of losing someone else and losing his voice of reason is wearing on him and it only gets worse as time goes on. Sure, he knows they can get by without Echo around but I don’t think he wants that. He was leaning on Echo and once they started disagreeing he realized that maybe he was going to either have to open himself up to relying on everyone else or close up again.

I’d wager that he chose the latter for the most part.

Hunter doesn’t like relying on others. He has this big idea in his head that he’s meant to be the one who has it down but… come on. None of us can do that. I’ve seen a lot of people compare Hunter to an oldest sibling and as the youngest of four I’m not sure I really have much insight into that particular notion but as the sibling who took on the greatest responsibilities in my home I feel this tug of responsibility to the detriment of yourself and others and I see you, Hunter. I see you and you need to stop.

Maybe that’s why I get so frustrated with Hunter in particular. I want him to grow out of this. I want him to change and develop and be angry and show his care more often. That’s part of why I loved S3 E5 so much. Hunter got fucking pissed. He was angry and he let it out and he shoved Crosshair and he showed just how badly he was hurt by everything. Fuck I love that. This is what I wanted to see. Finally he’s forgetting to keep it together and in front of Crosshair he is finally willing to lose his temper. Something really tells me that they used to lose their temper at each other because it was safe to. They clearly don’t know how to talk about their emotions and sort it out like many of us know or learn to - that will hopefully come with time and maturity - but they sure did know how to yell and use their strength against each other. So they fight. And they hurt each other. Then they make up and move forward because what else are they meant to do? They’re going to forgive each other. It’s how it always is - a given.

Hunter’s relationship to loyalty is not anywhere near the same as Crosshair’s but all of the batch end up having some relationship with it one way or another. There’s an excellent post floating around tumblr somewhere and I couldn’t find it to save my life (if you know what I’m talking about and can find the post feel free to link it somewhere) but it says something about how eventually the batch is going to embody the idea that they ‘don’t leave their own behind’ because they simply haven’t remained true to that sentiment yet - through lack of choice or active avoidance. They’ve repeated it a few times and yet the sentiment feels flat as they keep having to leave members of their squad behind or let them walk away themselves. Eventually they’re going to have to prove this sentiment and only then do I really think the show’s true theme can be accomplished.

I want to touch briefly on Hunter’s relationship to touch because I think it comes into play here (and it is admittedly one of my favorite things about him.) He uses touch a lot more than I think we give him credit for. Yes he’s closed off emotionally and he’s not great at talking but he does use touch a lot. He uses it with Echo for reassurance and as a factor to convince him of things often. A plan Echo doesn’t like? Shoulder touch. Echo is still new and Hunter is telling him he’ll get used to things? Shoulder touch. Saying goodbye, serious chat, acknowledging his worries? Touch touch touch. This man doesn’t always know how to use his words but he’s good at putting what he means into a physical reminder. What does the touch say? Loads of things. That he’s there, that what he is saying is not meant to hurt, that he’s pissed, that he’s listening. He does it with Wrecker and Omega and - thinking of their fight - Crosshair but I can’t actually think of an instance where he uses touch with Tech. I could have just missed it so let me know if there are scenes where he does this. He’s relied on physical reminders for so long that maybe words just… aren’t what he uses to communicate. You can feel the way his mood shifts when him and Echo are disagreeing by the way he moves him physically. It’s really those moments that I feel Hunter shines most because those moments are where he feels most open as a character - at least from my perspective.

I use his relationship to touch when I write him and, specifically, when that touch is rejected, what does that feel like for him? When I write him I look at it from a perspective of how he interacts with the world and what he thinks he can give to it. When his most comfortable form of communication - that shoulder touch we all tease about - is rejected and he can’t rely on that anymore what does that look like? Could just be the fact that I lean very heavily towards touch as a form of communication and repair but I focus on it a lot and it deserves a mention while talking about Hunter.

In truth, Hunter is hard for me. I see the avoidance, I see the anger, I see his pain, and yet I still have this feeling that I don’t really see him. What does Hunter really want? Because we’ve only ever seen him talk about what he wants to do for other people. But what motivates Hunter? We can say that it’s keeping his people safe or that it’s settling down or even just boil it down to Omega but what is actually under the surface there? For everyone else I can pretty much pinpoint what it is that motivates them but Hunter is a blank area for me. He says what motivates him but I am much more inclined to believe there is something else really eating at him underneath it all. I also want to suggest that maybe he hides behind doing things for other people to avoid feeling selfish. If he’s doing all of this to protect his squad then he’s not doing all of this because he wants to and it’s not a selfish decision. While I don’t think finding somewhere safe to settle down is selfish I get the feeling that maybe Hunter thinks it is for him specifically. Like he is not allowed to but maybe if it’s about everyone else then it’s fine. It’s always ‘Omega deserves better’ and ‘you betrayed us.’ Never ‘this is what I want and this is how I feel.’

Crosshair’s value system is very strict and at times harsh and unmoving. Echo has a sense of duty and protection that is strong enough to push him into action. Wrecker is motivated by the thrill of things but also by supporting his loved ones. Tech is curious and intelligent, seeking out new experiences and an interest in preservation. But what is Hunter’s motivation aside from ‘settle down’? That’s a goal, sure, but I’m not sure it’s really the right word to place on what he really wants deep down outside of what he wants for other people. I’m not sure I really know the answer to that question.

To make a long post even longer I’d like to see what Hunter wants when it is not connected to his service to other people. What is it that fuels him? Is it the serene calmness of safety that he craves? Being free from worry? Is it the freedom to make choices that he never would have gotten in the GAR? I’m almost inclined to say it’s a bit of everything but I still don’t really know and I would love to actually hear what people think the baseline motivator is for him personally.

#the bad batch #tbb hunter #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #sorry this is so long I had too much fun and got carried away

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mitziholder · 7 months

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I find your thoughts on fandom interesting, and in general, I'm really glad to see more discussion of the bad shit fandom can/is doing to young women in radblr spaces. But I mean this as an honest question: Why do you consider fandom not challenging writers/readers such a problem? These aren't professional writing spaces, and the vast majority of fanfic writers don't intend to go into them. Does an artistic hobby *need* to challenge its participants to be worthwhile? I mean this all really genuinely, especially as someone who *does* work in the arts and *does* actively want work that challenges me, and has traditionally prided herself on it -- are these inherent moral goods? Am I a reasonable standard to expect of other people? Is engaging with boundary-pushing art a requirement of healthy maturity? Why? Is, say, a human rights lawyer who spends her free time watching trashy reality shows blighted, somehow, by that fact? What about a cashier who watches the same stuff because she's genuinely not interested in anything else? And, given the vast majority of readers of actual books basically read the way fanfic-only readers read -- the same genres, which use well-worn tropes -- do we think fandom is actually keeping its participants from more worthwhile experiences? (I suspect you might argue this is dumbing down the publishing industry, which I would really disagree with, as someone in publishing -- I know we can all point to Ali Hazelwood or a million YA books that advertise with tropes, but I really can't emphasize enough that this has been the case since modern publishing began, and I think pinning "so-so prose that's The Same Old Shit" on the current young female writer cohort borders on sexism, tbh.) I've been thinking about these questions a lot lately, and I just don't know the answers. My gut wants to say yes, it's good to present challenging work to people, especially women, because art is a key part of the human experience, and can effect all sorts of societal things. But also ... I know very little about the environment, including my immediate natural environment, and if I'm honest, I'm not really inclined to learn. I'm sure learning about it would effect all sorts of change in my life and concept of self. But I'm probably not going to do it because I have a limited amount of time and I'd rather give it to other things. Is that better or worse than engaging with challenging art? Is it better or worse to be me than the woman reading the same old tropey fanfic in her free time? I think what I WOULD argue is that, specifically, fandom as it is reinforces patriarchy and induces a lot self-destruction and alienation in young women, with particularly vile effects on young lesbians, autistic women, etc. But if it didn't do that....would I still have a problem with it? I don't know. But it's interesting as hell to think about, and I'd love your thoughts on it.

hello nona :-) many interesting points, much to consider

>Does an artistic hobby need to challenge its participants to be worthwhile?

no. I’m sure there are plenty of people who enjoy crochet or knitting or something like that for the sake of it or to de-stress. I’m sure there are also plenty of people who write and draw for the sake of it with little interest in grinding for improvement. that’s fine. the problem is when you have people who replace reading and personal edification with endless fluff + pointless indulgence.

reading... things... that are above your level, that actually make you think, is how you increase your vocabulary, your linguistic competence, your critical thinking skills, your ability to express yourself. difficult and complex texts present you with opportunities to broaden your perspective. they stimulate your mind, present you with new ideas; they can help you grow as a person in ways that the Same Old Shit simply won’t/can’t. it would be like benching the bar every day for 10 years straight and expecting to get stronger... I presume. I don’t lift weights.

as I said previously, I don’t think fanfic is going to destroy your brain, but if you read nothing but fanfic, that is on the same level as (or maybe worse than) reading nothing at all. of course I’m going to be critical of a community of people who humblebrag about how they can’t bring themselves to read 25 pages of literature in an academic (non yaoitastic) context.

ya ya it’s a joke they’re joking very funny, but do you see people of other creative pursuits or hobbies joking about how they can’t bring themselves to focus on a piece of actual literature or nonfiction? how they have zero interest in anything outside of anime boys kissing each other? it’s a sign of intellectual stagnation (and eventual regression imo).

I watch a lot of shitty youtube videos, but I acknowledge that they are basically a waste of my time. meanwhile you have post after post singing the praises of how culturally important and worthy of respect Our Beloved Fic Writers are in spite of the fact that their work is, by and large, completely self-indulgent shit! there’s just so much potential that isn’t being tapped into & so much complacency... it’s very frustrating to me. I find it dishonest. red white and royal blue is not going to change the world... lol

for the record, yes, you are right, lots of Real book-readers also read mostly self-indulgent shit. genre fiction is far more popular than anything else... and I don’t care for booktok either. in fairness, literary fiction isn’t always good, and I’m sure there were many women who read nothing but terrible pulp novels 70 years ago too. that doesn’t make fandom any better! not to say this is all women’s fault - I just have zero frame of reference for how “cultured” men may or may not be, and I don’t really care either way. I focus on fandom girlies because they’re what I know, & I want women to be... better, or at least more interesting. this is, of course, sexist by definition. I hold myself and other women to higher standards. I will admit to that. I’ll also admit to the fact that I do not care about men or what they are writing or reading and would not give a shit if they all became illiterate thoughtless slugs. it is what it is.

truthfully, I have no interest in moralizing any of this. I just find it depressing! it’s resulting in more and more women who cannot relate to and have zero interest in anything outside of the narrowly defined fanfic bubble - so, more and more women who can’t relate to me or what I care about. I’m selfish, and I think it’s unfortunate that there are so many young female writers clearly capable of writing something interesting who nevertheless restrict themselves to lowest common denominator coombrained garbage because it’s what’s easy and popular.

do we have a responsibility to pester random strangers about their amateur fanfic? naw. who has the time? all I know is that conversations I’ve had with my female friends about our original works or other women’s writing have been vastly more substantial and enlightening than any argument about who tops or bottoms in supernatural... imo. in my opinion

re: the environment and social responsibility, I also have no interest in debating what matters are the most important and whether you have a personal, moral obligation to educate yourself about them. I recognize that we all have a limited amount of time and energy to dedicate to something which is admittedly fairly peripheral to most people’s everyday concerns (such as... paying the bills). then again, so is almost everything.

at the end of the day, I just think it is an awful shame that some women would - and they freely admit this - rather turn their brains off and do nothing, think about nothing, read the same shit over and over, watch the same shows over and over, draw and write the same things and dynamics over and over... than do anything else. anything different or thought-provoking or uncomfortable. it is a loss for the breadth and the depth of women’s contributions to culture as well as their empathy and intellectual curiosity.

obligatory food analogy: a little bit of junk food won’t kill you, but if that’s all you’re eating, you are probably not... doing... well

and that’s not even getting into the social contagion present within fandom re:mogai, relationships, and gender identity shit (which I would say probably has a lot to do with the underdeveloped critical thinking skills and worldviews of girls who read nothing but fanfiction). I would love to come back to that at some point, but I think this post is long enough, so I’ll just put a pin in it. there’s honestly an insane amount that I have to say about common talking points regarding the value of yaoi/fanfic (in terms of how they portray Marginalized Identities and Relationships and how it supposedly helps women navigate their own trauma through a proxy or some shit like that) oh god this is a horrible run-on .... that’s all for now! send post!

#i am glad you found my thoughts interesting enough to write in:)#ask

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liquid-luck-00 · 8 months

Text

Marks of Magic

Day 1 Moon

Maribat Spooktober 2023

I don’t know if this is going to be a stand alone or a short part story or if it will be the whole month.

Let’s see where it takes us.

I’m restarting my permanent taglist since I’ve been inactive for so long. Sorry!!!

Language and cursing is used

1500 words

~~~~~~~~~~

Three years.

THREE YEARS!!

she has dealt with this stupid Moth's reign of emotional terror. And she is done.

She is done with Chat's dumb jokes and worse, his unwanted advances. she is done with having no one she can trust. she tried giving second chances to Alya, Nino, and even Chloe. But each time she did they broke her trust again and again. She stopped calling on other holders.

She is done with fighting this war alone. She reached out to the Justice League but they laughed in her face. So she stopped asking for help.

The Akumas would target the non-holders group of heroes so often and defeat them or worse until the cure would be cast. that they either left the city or gave up.

she is done being alone and fighting this uphill battle alone.

She doesn't know when the change happened but it did. Her suit darkened and changed, to a point where most was a pitch black. Accents of red and black spots littered the suit, but it darkened.

She couldn’t stand it anymore, her hero life is suffering because she had no one to turn to. That leaked into her personal life as well, she couldn’t trust her friends, so as the guardian, she wiped their memories of ever being a holder, and in Alya’s case the fact she is Ladybug. On top of that Lila held on to her threat, and it came to pass, the class turned on her, as they iced her out of their lives she did the same. She focused herself into her brand and grew her client list.

•••

"Seriously Gurl!" she heard Alya starting to stomp up the steps towards her. Marinette didn't look up from the tablet she was currently reviewing before class started.

"You could at least look at me!" Her hands slammed down on the desk infront of her.

"Alya." She responded, making a note on the document. "What can I do for you?"

"Cut the Snark, Marinette, we all know what you did."

"Oh really." A smirk played on her lips. she looked up at her ex-friend. "Do tell, what did I do?"

"Lila can't even stand being in class since your here."

"And.."

"You really are a bully, Mari, how can you not even show remorse for what you did."

"Your right, I don't." Marinette stood up. "Granted you haven't told me what I did yet." she crossed her arms, watching the other girl get madder at her 'attitude'.

Alya was about to respond when in walked Lila, but with one big difference. Gone was her long hair and stupid sausage pigtails that framed her face. Now it was cut short, a Pixie cut that now showed off her high cheekbones and her eyes, that were Puffy and rimmed in red from what she assumes were tears. The girl looked at her quickly before averting her gaze and dove into her seat. Mari didn't say anything. It was shocking to see her this way, so much she almost dropped her defensive posture. Luckily she didn't say anything as Mdm. Bustier walked in to start the class.

Mari quickly sat down as Alya flew down the steps to console the Italian.

The class period seemed to stretch out longer than normal, but that only caused her mind to race more with every tick of the clock.

All to soon Mdm. Bustier clapped her hands, pulling her from her stupor. "I would like to congratulate Marinette for being our lucky winner to spend the next semester at our sister school, Gotham Academy."

Every one turned towards her, if she looked closely their smiles were forced, almost sneers.

She never applied for it.

Her eyes travelled to her ex-friend, Alya who looked triumphant.

But jokes on them. She was glad. Glad she wouldn't have to deal with them for almost six months now.

So she smiled.

Not one of her strained smiles that had become so common place, but a true genuine smile.

The rest of her day went by in almost a blur. Teachers and other classmates would congratulate her but it didn't register fully. A plan forming in her mind.

•••

She was glad that there was no akuma today. As soon as school let out she got to work.

Through the photos she took of the grimore she learned, during dire situations, the butterfly could embue its own holder as a champion. Gabriel Agreste, then came back into the forefront of her suspects.

She didn't suspect to act on it, but while outside she saw him. Gabriel moved to a subterranian green house, where she then saw a kwamii.

She didn't think and acted on pure instinct.

she dove through the window, Agreate turned and before he could say anything she charged at him.

The yoyo in her hands extended into a weighted bo staff. Agreste getting over his shock called on his transformation. The two of them danced circles around the other as their weapons clashed in the underground room.

"How?!?!" she heard him snarl at her, but she didn't answer.

She was tired of this bull shit.

Tired that this peice of crap of a man made her life a living hell for three years.

Until ...

A flash of light enveloped the room. There Gabriel Agreste knelt on a knee, his hands balled into fists as he glared up at her. The butterfly Miraculous clutched in her hand.

A spark eminated and from it out came the kwamii of transmission, Nooroo.

"Ladybug... I..." The kwamii tried and failed to speak.

"Please go and retrieve the Peacock and the Grimore." She said never taking her eyes off of Agreste.

When he returned she placed both Miraculi in her yo-yo and finally spoke again. "Why?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you." He practicaly spat.

"No you don't, but I want to know the reason before I deal out a verdict." she hummed.

"And why would you be doing something like that, Ladybug." He tried to stand but fell back, too tired or too hurt, she doesn't know. She lowered down to meet his eyes, but didn't say a word.

In that moment he was so defeated, he finally collapsed to the ground barely able to lift his head to speak. "No use telling you now. You’ve already won."

He attention pulled towards the large window, seeing the full moon overhead illuminating their conversation.

"I guess that’s true. But why wouldn't I want to know why. Why I fucking fought for three years against you for so long. I need to know why." She stared up at the moon not sparing the man a glance.

"For her." There was a silence but she didn’t look at him, not yet. "All she wanted was a child, but in order for him to grow, she had to..." He didn't finish his thought.

She looked back at Agreste, she took in his battered spirit and body before standing again. She looked around the room until her eyes landed on it, a cyro chamber with who she assumes is Emily Agreste. "No matter what, there’s always a price for a wish. to bring her back something else must be taken from you."

"Please. Please just do what you have to."

"No. You have to live with the fact that your decisions ensured she would never wake up. That she was wrong to place her faith and love in you." She pulled out her Yoyo and flew out of the room, back home. The moon's light guideing her.

She fell onto her bed dropping her transformation as she thumbed through the grimoire until it landed on a page of spells.

She doesn’t know if it’ll work or not, but it’s worth a shot.

"As the guardian of the miracle box I, Ladybug, call upon the powers of the Kwamii held in my protection."

She closed her eyes and continued to recite the word she’s read over and over for the past few months.

"For my conviction is absolute and I release the Kwamii from their jewels, never to be used again by mortal beings."

Several voices were heard in front of her now, all the Kwamii she’s met floated in front of her in between her self and the moon. She doesn’t know how but even Plagg was among the others.

"Is this truly your wish guardian?" Was spoken by both Tikki and Plagg.

"Yes." That’s single word rang resolute within the empty room.

One by one each kwamii approached her, said a goodbye and thanks before disappearing.

Plagg came towards her and was the first to place his miraculous in her hand.

"Your one hell of a kid, Pigtails. Be unappoligetic. If you ever need to." He held up a paw. "Just give me a shout."

"Plagg!" Tikki exclaimed.

"I said what I said." He cackled before dissapearing.

She heard Tikki sigh before hugging her cheek. "You've grown so much, my little bug. "She pressed a flipper to her earring." Plagg's right though. If you ever need to. Call upon our power and we will lend it to you."

"Thank you Tikki." she felt tears beginnig to sting her eyes. Tikki dissapeared. "Thank you. All of you."

~~~~~~~~~~

#Maribat Spooktober 2023 #Maribat October Prompts #maribat #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #dc x miraculous #miraculous x dc #ml marinette #luka x mari x jason

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best-type-moon-couple · 4 months

Text

The Winner of the “Best Type-Moon Couple” Tournament is…

Gilgamesh and Enkidu (52% of the Vote)

[Congratulations for the Runner-ups, Mr. Sakamoto Ryouma and Mrs. Sakamoto Oryou, who came close with 48% of the Vote]

Thank you so much to the 502 people who voted in the final poll, as well as everyone else who participated/nominated/followed this tournament. I appreciate every single one of you and hope to see you next time I do something like this again. Until then, thanks for voting, see you whenever there’s a next time!

Letter from the Mod (Under the Cut):

Introduction:

So… uh… been a while since we talked like this, completely nervous, unprepared tournament mod to the hundreds of thousands of potential listeners and followers of the poll. Well, now that it’s over, I want to introduce myself.

Hi, you can call me Snow. I’ve been a Type-Moon fan for about a year now. I got into this series when my cousin introduced me to “Fate” and from there I started to grow on this series at an… large… unnormal… potentially problematic and unhealthy way.

“Where’d the inspiration come from?”:

When I got into Fate, the one thing that reached out to me were the characters themselves and their relationship with one another, and the more I looked into the nasuverse, the more characters that I found that I feel in love with, the more I started to hate, the more I started to have convoluted and mixed feelings towards, but the one thing I loved about most was how characters interacted with each other and how well, or unwell, they get along and nothing else can show my love and appreciation for character dynamics than the couples of Type-Moon.

The couples of Type-Moon range anywhere from being weird to comical to sad to disgusting to wholesome and even genuinely life changing, with the characters themselves having dynamic that either showed how much they pine for love, how love broke them, how love managed to fix them, or by simply how wholesome they are. When Samurai Remnant released and featured a character who loves their spouse very much that they make it their main focus in game, juxtaposed by their spouse still showing their love and devotion for them, it was the thing that eventually caused me to make this tournament in the first place (they weren’t in the tournament though, but it’s the thought that counts).

Running the Tournament:

I was completely sure that I wanted to run this tournament, but the main caveat was the fact that I never ran a tournament like this before and it became very clear, very quickly that I had no idea what I was doing (the potentially weird rules for the tournament and the delayed start times were a big red flag of this, so I’m glad we had so many people stuck around despite that).

Still, I wanted to do my best for this tournament, so I created everything myself (with my sister helping to find a tournament bracket website). And when I mean everything I mean I edited together the main banner of the blog and edited together most of the couple portraits (I got lazy and used official art for some of them, guess which ones)

What’s next?:

Honestly, I want to do another tournament sometime. Obviously not immediately since I also want time off, but I’d also want to do something else and see more people come together to vote on something we all may or may not enjoy. And while I have no ideas at the moment (if you want to give any ideas then feel free to share then through the askbox or through the submission box) but maybe this blog will go through a renovation when I figured something out, hm?

Want to see what I do?:

Well, in case you wanna follow me specifically, then you can follow my personal blog (@player-blandon) for more of my personal things or things I post about games I like sometimes. I don’t post there consistently, and when I do it’s probably, mostly, shitposts unless I’m live-blogging a game I’m playing through or (in the most recent post’s case) doodled something I wanted to share. It’s the place where I share things sometimes and hopefully it’s a place where I can talk to all of you about some stuff as well (chances are I’m going to be posting more fate and type-moon things after this tournament).

Closing Thoughts:

Honestly, this tournament was a bigger undertaking than what I originally thought, but I’m glad I did this. I consider it a learning experience.

Thank you all once again for participating in this tournament. Congratulations to the King of Heroes and his only friend for winning and good job Ryouma and Oryou for putting on a good fight. We all put in a lot in this tournament and I hope to see you all again when I do something like this again…

…until then, I’ll see you whenever I can. Goodbye everyone. See you later!

#a couple’s battle #couple tournament #tumblr tourney #and then they kiss #end of the tournament #fate #fate grand order #fate stay night #kara no kyoukai #tsukihime #mahotsukai no yoru #witch on the holy night

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w1ldthoughts · 10 months

Text

Too Good to be True

Series Masterlist

Synopsis: After a lengthy mental battle, Zoey confesses her genuine feelings to Jack.

Warning: The angsty storm.

“You’re not one of those girls that just wants to complicate everything by suggesting labels and shit.”

Well she was definitely one of those girls. And the stress of the this situationship was really starting to get to her. The other day she almost told him she loved him when they were cuddling in his bed first thing in the morning. Thoughts of him consumed every inch of her heart and mind and there was just no way to keep going like this.

Urban had texted her that morning to let her know he was leaving town for the weekend to do a “confidential project” and urged Zoey to be honest before it was too late.

She had two days left in Louisville and wanted to enjoy her time as much as humanly possible but Jack’s phone buzzed on the counter while he was in the shower. Zoey grabbed it to make sure it wasn’t important but the text preview was enough to make every negative emotion hit her like a ton of bricks. Jack was planning to meet this girl literally the next day after her departure from Louisville.

With her heartbeat climbing by the second, the woman rushed down the stairs and began stress baking. They’d already had dinner so it was her next best option. Anything to keep her hands busy while her mind went through every possible scenario.

Jack came downstairs just as she was getting ready to put the cookies in the oven. “Ooh chocolate chip, you spoil me. EJ’s gonna be pissed but it’ll be worth it.” He kissed her on the cheek and she couldn’t help but tense up at his close proximity.

“What’s wrong babe?”

She shrugged him off. “Nothing! Just getting sad that we only have one more night together.”

“I know,” he pouted. “But we’ll make the most of what little time we have left. Like we did last night and the night before. Oh and the night before that and—”

“Okay, I think I get it. We’ve done a lot of cherishing the moment. Let’s just keep it classy for now and watch our show. We’ll see where the night takes us.”

An hour into the evening, Zoey sat up, breaking free of Jack’s hold. “I need to tell you something.”

He immediately grabbed the remote and paused the tv. “What’s going on, Zo?”

“I—um,” she began and abruptly stopped. Her stress levels only increased when he placed a comforting hand on her thigh.

“Breathe Z. Take your time, it’s just me.” Yeah, that was the problem.

“Jack, I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this for a while now. But, I’m just gonna have to spit it out.” She let out a shaky sigh, not daring to look him in the eye. The hand that he still had on her leg was a much more comfortable sight.

“Okay so…I have feelings for you. Like real ones. And I feel like you may have feelings for me too…maybe?”

He moved his hand away and she finally looked up to meet his gaze, letting out a deep breath that she’d secretly been holding for weeks. His expression was blank, painfully unreadable and it scared her.

“Will you say something, please?” She urged him.

Jack let out an uneasy sigh and groaned. Like her feelings were an inconvenience to him. “Zoey, why? Why would you do this? You know I’m not a relationship person.”

“I know that! I know. But I just—”

“You just what?” He exclaimed standing up from his seat, putting even more distance between them. “You thought you were special? That you could change me? Make me into some fucking Prince Charming? Wake up Zoey, this is the real world and none of that fairytale shit is happening here.” Jack spat out.

She nodded slowly, taken aback at how he was speaking to her. Biting back tears, she stood up to head upstairs. “God you’re right, I do need to wake up. Here I was thinking I was special like a fucking idiot. Thought maybe the last three months of my life meant something but I’m so glad that you reminded me that I’m just one of many in your rotation. Thanks for that.” Zoey pressed her lips together, steadying her breaths.

The rapper’s tense shoulders relaxed almost immediately at the sight of her visibly holding back tears and reached out to her, taking a few steps forward. She backed away immediately, a fat tear slowly rolling down her face. “Zozo,” he whispered.

“No.” She sobbed, turning around and walking up the steps. “I need a minute. Please do not fucking follow me.”

Jack sat at the bottom of the stairs for 27 minutes, waiting for her to come back down. What he didn’t expect was to see her with all of her bags in hand.

“Wait—what are you doing, where are you going?” Jack rushed out, feeling his eyes starting to water.

“I’m leaving. Spending the night at my sister’s, she’s on her way right now.” Zoey sniffed when she got to the front door.

He was full on crying now. “Okay but it’s really late and we’re both pretty emotional. Let’s just finish our show and talk in the morning. I’ll—I can sleep in a guest room or on the couch or whatever.”

“Baby please don’t leave.” He uttered softly, wiping his eyes.

“Don’t call me that anymore.” Zoey responded bluntly. “I just told you I’m falling in love with you and you’re telling me you want to watch Bates Motel? We’re on very different pages here. Hell, we’re not even reading the same book!”

She let out a laugh that was filled with pain. “I can’t stay. I’m going to Megan’s for the night and then I’m gonna fly home.” Huffing out a breath, she continued. “Jack I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just pretend to go back to our little fantasy world knowing that you only see me as something temporary. I see an entire life with you, a beautiful and extraordinary life and you…you don’t. And that’s okay. But we can’t just act like this never happened.”

He took three long strides over to her, holding her face in his hands. Fresh tears swam in his blue eyes. “If you just give me some more time, I can—we can figure something out. Please don’t leave Zoey. Please. We just need a little more time.” Jack begged, his voice cracking.

“Oh my sweet boy, I’m pretty sure we just ran out of time. Promise you’ll take care of yourself and actually take the time to sit and be proud of everything you’ve accomplished sometimes. You deserve everything good in this world.” She tenderly kissed his cheek as her phone buzzed, her sister announcing her arrival.

“Goodbye, Jack.”

He only allows himself to fully break down when the car is out of sight. Jack had just heard everything he’d been dreaming of hearing. Zoey felt the same way he did and instead of affirming her, he basically spat in her face on top of lying to her.

After a poor attempt of distracting himself by putting on the show, he chucked the remote at the wall, placing his head in his hands. Jack’s body shook as he cried harder than he could ever remember in his life, knowing that he’d lost her for good. The pitiful sounds echoed throughout the house until sleep finally overtook him.

The next morning he hesitantly texted an old friend who he hadn’t spoken to in months. She’d reached out the night before to let him know she’d be in Louisville for a few days and he originally told her he wasn’t interested, but due to recent events he didn’t want to be alone.

It was back to business as usual, before Zoey. And he had to force himself to come to terms with what he’d done.

#jack harlow #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow angst #jackman thomas harlow #jack x zoey #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine

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vestaclinicpod · 2 months

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Audio Drama Sunday - 17th March ✨

I’m back! I’ve been cursed by something and life keeps trying to really kill the vibe but I’m back!! Happy Audio Drama Sunday, everyone! ✨

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E5.5) Ough, Riley! This is not good. They may be (pretending to be) fine but I’m not!! Absolutely fuming at the sequence of events that has separated Riley from the only person who can handle them and vice versa 😮‍💨

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (143) season 4 is gripping me by the lapels, screaming “do you UNDERSTAND?!” In my face while I stammer that I am not sure if I understand. I LOVE it though. It’s so fun listening to show where you can trust the creator to take risks and know that it will pay off if you pay attention and keep your red string handy. I love the idea that the god of change and rebirth is affecting the actual narrative - it’s so cool! Though, I want to grab Marolmar by the antlers and fling him somewhere nasty. If Nikignik gets (more) hurt, there will be blood.

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (15) hehe frogs 🐸. My wife can attest that I actually went ‘oh, no!’ out loud when I twigged where the little guys had come from! Oh, Traveller, what are we going to do with you?

🎙 Not only did I have the immense pleasure of seeing The Attic live show this week, the new WTNV episode was so fun as well!! I’m so glad Kevin is back…

♦️@grottopod (6) Aaaah!!! Emily!! They have to get them back together?!! What does that MEAN??!!

⚔️ @camlannpod (5) TURN ON YOUR LOCATION, COWARDS. Waaaah I just want to talk about how this episode hit us with the ‘you are in charge of your own destiny, your story can be changed’ then with a reminder that ‘there is no version of this story which doesn’t have a good ending’ BUT wHAt if he’s making one!!?!?!? I feel for Dai SO much but I really truly believe that the power of love is going to win !!! The Green Knight has just broken the radio so we don’t get to hear his long lecture about how to be a better boyfriend.

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (10) that was creepy as all hell. Absolutely hated that, actually. The first time in ages that I've thought about a podcast character with fear before turning out the light 😬

⚓️ The beloved eelers of @eelerschoice were back with a very fun Q+A episode. My main impression was how dARE anyone tell Lou that ey cannot write music??? Who is this person?? Feed them to the eels!!!!

🍎 I finished @notquitedeadpod S2 these past few weeks which was GRIPPING as hell. I listened to the Q+A today and I have to say that it’s one of my fave Q+As ever, there was so much genuine thought and detail put into the answers. I can only dream of producing such a coherent, interesting response to any question about my own work! SO excited for S3, especially given that we're about to get into the vampire science!!!! let's gooo!!!

Feel free to join me in manifesting a good week!! A huge thank you to everyone who's making these shows (and others!) which I love so much. There's nothing better than sticking on some headphones and escaping life for a while and I've needed that more than usual recently!

#audio drama sunday #podcast recs #tell no tales #hfth spoilers #travelling light #eeler's choice #not quite dead #tmagp #camlann #the grotto #wtnv

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nakasomethingkun · 1 year

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i need to gush about step by step episode 7 because it’s another episode that makes me love this show more and more!!

i know that some people are very unhappy that pat got back together with put, but honestly, i’m glad he did, and i understood why he did it. from the very first episode, it’s established that pat is young and single and very ready to mingle. plus, he and put used to be very in love, and it seems like they didn’t have proper closure. spending more time with put probably rekindled some of those fond feelings they used to share, and who here isn’t a sucker for nostalgia? and, on a less serious note, like hello have you see put?? why WOULDN’T pat want to take him back?? if my ex looked like up poompat and he begged me to give him another chance while flaunting the shark he crocheted to take advantage of my fixation on sharks and all things cute, i’d give him another chance too.

anyway. this episode showed us why pat and put used to work and why they didn’t, and it showed us why they’re not going to work in the present. for example, food is very important to pat, and yet during the dinner scene, put didn’t seem to be interested in the food (or in pat, tbh) or in the effort pat put into preparing it, which serves as a stark contrast to how jeng is wrt food. with that said, i appreciate how put is not a bad person (or a dramatized villain). he seemed genuinely remorseful of his past actions that led to their break up, yes, but he knows to apologize when he realizes he’s hurt pat about the meal and he respects pat’s boundaries during their night at the hotel. the thing is, he and pat have changed. they used to be in love, and put might still love pat, but time has passed, and things can’t be the same between them between they are different people now.

plot wise, obviously getting back together with put is important for pat’s character to realize his feelings and work through them, but it’s also important for put’s character, i think, because the man needs to let pat go and accept that they won’t work out (and i think he knows this too, deep down).

i also love that this episode is starting to get at the main “problem” at hand: jeng and pat being boss and subordinate. jeng’s feelings are very obvious - jaab seems to have gotten an inkling, and so does chot. but as jaab said at the start of the episode, it’s all very unprofessional if he really does go out with pat. given the power imbalance, it would also be very inappropriate and easily become unhealthy. i look forward to how this show will handle this aspect, since - in terms of the romance plot - the boss-subordinate dynamic would be one of their biggest hurdles.

jaab of course assumed wrong (i.e., jeng did not have dinner with pat), but his point still stands. even his little brother knows it’s not professional! of course jeng is taking things fucking slow and being really careful about what to do about his feelings!! plus, he and pat are in different phases of their lives. pat is young and emotional and has a lot to prove to the world - and do you know how hard it can be, to be in your 20s? well, it’s fucking hard. pat dating his boss is just gonna create a whole new fucking mess in his already stressful life.

so to the folks complaining why pat is looking at other men when jeng is right there: first, jeng is his boss. second, jeng is his fucking boss. third, dating your boss would be the last thing on your mind when you just started your career, work in what used to be a toxic and highly stressful environment, and your boss used to be really rude to you and made you cry. shifting from seeing jeng as his boss to a potential romantic interest is going to take time, and i like that the show is giving pat that space. also, i think that we would like jeng a lot less if he isn’t so professional lmao. jeng told put to separate his personal life from his work, and i think he’s telling this to himself too.

which brings me to another thing i love from this episode: more put and jeng interactions. ever since episode 5, i have always enjoyed seeing the tension between them. they always say one thing that means a different thing, and episode 7 gave us more of this. side note: i thought the seafood dinner scene in ep 5 was BRILLIANT, because at first glance it’s just the characters saying not much of anything, but it’s more than that. it was trying to further establish how jeng is the born winner that put just accused him of being earlier (e.g., he co-own a successful restaurant, he’s a good cook, he doesn’t mind hosting a wedding for free and giving his brother money because he’s filthy rich).

this is just word vomit, but god, i love this show. waiting 2 weeks for episode 7 was so worth it. other than all of the above, we also got to see chot singing up’s song and the ost for lovely writer lmaooo and if the translation is correct wrt his period, he might be trans?? diversity win!!!!

#step by step #step by step the series #there were more things i wanted to write but #they're all just stray thoughts #this is already an incoherent mess as it is #can you tell that i wrote this after eating a whole bag of chocolates and was on a sugar high #my post

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wifeofbath · 7 months

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Adam has several short interviews on the Show Me More special behind the scenes documentary of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon, which is now on youtube.

"My name's Adam Nagaitis, and I play Quinn. He owns a cabaret club called The Demimonde. He's made alliances with Genet, and he's a purveyor of rare items in this dystopian world. He ends up stumbling across the love of his life again after a decade. Everyone else gets shut off as soon as he sees Isabelle walk in. And what he wants changes, and therefore he changes. I mean, he's genuinely hurt, for whatever he can be hurt. He just gets angry, which is what men do best....When you get down to this primal level of a dystopian world, people certainly tend to adopt the most cliché versions of themselves. His selfishness and self-obsession is his downfall."

About the Demimonde, "You walk into sex and hedonism but also beauty. It's walking into Quinn's brain. It's the kind of thing that only Quinn could do, would be to say, 'The world is ending. I think I'm going to start an underground nightclub.' He's more at home underground than he is above it. By the time he's at his height when we meet him, he's collected out in the streets everything that you can think of that's of value. He's got it."

About the fight in the arena in Episode 6, "Daryl is experienced and knows how to kill these things. Quinn is not experienced in killing these things, but he’s not a coward. And so how would they fight? It gets very scrappy for Quinn and Daryl manages to maneuver."

Director Daniel Percival, "Well Norman and Adam want to do all their own stunts. They want to do all their own fighting. You know, there barely is a moment here where they weren’t doing their own fighting. And when they did it was just giving them a break because it’s exhausting...They were doing these long, set choreographed pieces and nailing it completely. They’re both fantastic physical actors."

Adam, "I’m glad I was chained to Norman. I can think of other people in my life I’d rather not be chained to."

#adam nagaitis

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nanasparadise · 2 years

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Hello! I hope that you are doing fine. I want to say that I really lime your writing and reading your writing makes me happy! ^^

Also, is the flower ask prompt still open? Can I get Mirio Togata with Camellia, please? Thank you and have a nice day!

Anon said: “Hello! For the flower prompts: Could you write for Mirio Togata with Ivy, please? Thank you!”

Hiya anon! Thank you for your request, I’m so glad to hear you enjoy my content! I hope this one will make you happy as well <3

"Like the rising sun" Yan!Mirio x gender-neutral reader

Camellia (devotion, perfection): “You know I’d do anything for you, right? My love knows no limits.”

Ivy (fidelity): “There is no one who’s more loyal than me! I’m tied to you, just like you are to me.”

Summary: No matter how bright your captor was, you couldn’t find happiness again.

TW: toxic relationship, implied kidnapping, depression, delusional mindset, mentions of past violence (towards reader), noncon touching, IMPLIED NONCON, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life.

“I’m back, honey!”

How you loathed his voice. That stupidly ever cheerful voice, boisterous and loud and always present.

Soon enough, his equally cheerful smile appeared in your vision. Mirio opened the door to your room, the beaming expression adorning his face blinding you. If you were a poet and he was your muse, you’d describe him as pure sunlight. Too bad you were but a captive in his home and had no kind word to spare for him.

The pro-hero’s grin faltered when he glanced at your face. “I missed you so much during the shift! Although I had hoped you would feel the same.” A bashful chuckle escaped his lips.

You didn’t grant him a sliver of your attention, knowing that it‘d drive him insane. Stubbornly, you continued staring at the wall in front of you, his form only a blob in your peripheral vision.

The mattress dipped under the additional weight as a warm hand was placed on your shoulder. Two months ago, you would have flinched. Now, it had become the norm to be touched by him, an inevitable fact that couldn’t be changed.

The realisation made your thoughts stumble, a wave of sadness washing over you. When did you stop resisting and start accepting this bleak reality?

“Sweetheart,” Mirio sighed, his hand rubbing circles in your skin, “I’m talking to you. Please, speak to me, my love.”

“Of course I’m not happy to see you,” you replied, your answer a mere whisper in the room. You had hoped it would come out louder, stronger, showing how much you hated it here, hated him. But it cost so much energy to fight back.

The hand stilled for a moment. Instead, the reassuring gesture got replaced with a tight grip. “I know the first weeks had been hard to adjust to,“ he said, his voice uncharacteristically - dangerously - low, “but I’m really trying my best to make you feel comfortable, Y/N. What do you want me to do? Would you like more clothes? Different books? We can also take a stroll through the garden if that’s what you wish for. Please, just tell me, you know I’d do anything for you, right? My love knows no limits.“

You turned your head, staring straight into his blue eyes. Distress marked his face as he desperately tried to make you see his point of view. “Let me go, then,” you uttered, echoing the plea you had made already countless times in the past.

“Not this again,” Mirio muttered, “I don’t want anything to happen to you, you know that.” His hand moved from your shoulder to your cheek, gently cradling it. Genuine concern was written all over his face as his thumb softly traced your cheekbone.

Left, right, left, right - a tear trickled down your cheek.

“That night, when I found you in the alley, beaten up and blood on the pavement-”

The movement halted - another tear.

“-my heart couldn’t take it.” His voice cracked, no hint of joy could be detected in it anymore. “I thought you’d die, Y/N. How did you expect me to react? I had to bring you somewhere safe where no one could lay a finger on you again.”

Your gaze shifted from his now tear-filled eyes to your leg, inspecting the familiar weight around your ankle in the form of a monitor. ‘Is being imprisoned like a criminal the only way to guarantee safety?’, you pondered, not quite able to hide the bitterness from your face.

Mirio followed your look, his mouth turning in a resigned line once he saw what you were fixated on. “I had to do this, it was either this or the chain,” he tried to reason, obviously believing that it was the right choice to make, if you interpreted the tone of his voice correctly.

What a messed up life you were going through.

“Just take it as the proof of my devotion for you! I’d do anything to keep you from harm, even if it hurts me to see you being so miserable. We’re going through this together, baby. There is no one who’s more loyal than me! I’m tied to you, just like you are to me.” His hand wandered to your jaw, gently gripping and directing it towards his face so that you’d look at him again. A crooked smile now graced his face, though you could detect the slight trembling in his lips. Just like his words, it was an illusion - twisted and utterly worthless to you.

“Time heals even the deepest wound. Soon enough, you’ll get used to it, you’ll even be happy-” you scowled at him, however, it didn’t deter him one bit “-I just need to show you all of my love for you!” This time, a sincere smile reappeared on his face.

Like the rising sun, ever so stupidly dutiful and joyous. You couldn’t stand to witness it. Day in, day out.

He pushed your forehead towards him, touching it with his lips in a kiss. Gently. Earnestly. Unwanted.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t make you see just how much I adore you, darling,” he whispered to you, “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll take a two-week break from work and will dedicate myself only to you, babe.”

Another kiss followed, this time placed carefully on the tip of your nose.

“It’d be like paradise, I promise.”

‘It’d be like hell.’

A kiss to your right cheek.

“We’ll be together all the time, you won’t be lonely again.”

‘I’d rather be anywhere but with you.’

A kiss to your left cheek.

“And I will make love to you every night, so that you won’t forget that I’m here for you to attend to your every need, always.”

A horrified expression flitted over your face, your eyes widened in terror as you tried to get away from him, anything but this, you couldn’t-

Strong hands gripped your waist, keeping you in place. And despite them radiating an almost unnatural warmth, you felt a shiver crawling down your spine.

A final kiss to your lips.

“Starting now.”

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ambeauty · 1 year

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Titans 410 Thots

Happy to have my family back. I loved how they are framed in the beginning of the episode with Dick, Kory, and Rachel. I love how they all mimic each other in specific ways whether tone of dress, stance, or manner of speaking. It shows are close they are. When you’re around people you love you tend to pick up on mannerisms and influence because they impact and inspire you. I see this happening between the entire core4 and that makes me so happy. Now here’s where things got dicey. Anything having to do with Sebastian, Conner, and Mother Mayhem are so dry and so boring. I feel like it’s controversial to say this but I actually enjoy Conner Luthor. I enjoy seeing Josh do something new with the character and although his attitude can get nasty it’s actually a refreshing change of tone. There has to be somebody that tells it like it is and unfortunately that’s ConLexy. I may or may not identify with him in that way. But seriously, having this Brother Blood villain build up was such a mistake. Joseph Morgan is such a charismatic actor and I feel like they have lost a lot of that by making him this sniveling incel. Two episodes left and I still don’t fear for Kory’s life.

And that’s a whole nother thing. Since Dick tries to remain “level” headed by simply not reacting with urgency to Kory nor RACHEL wanting to sacrifice themselves, I don’t feel like there are any stakes. Dick has remained seemingly unconvinced and unmoved this entire season, which could be attributed to his overall calculated “detective” character trait. But for me as a viewer, if he’s not moved, I’m not moved. I do love how Kory and Rachel do seem to be the only ones really concerned about what could potentially happen. I wish Dick stepped in and showed a little more emotional vulnerability to what we presume are his fears. And if when he does… It’s gonna be too little too late because the show is over. Honestly I could write an essay about Dick’s lack of character development, but this season isn’t about him, and clearly the writers forgot to include his own development in that as well. Anyways back to the stars of the episode.

Koriand’r and Garfield Logan. They had a stand out performances. The emotional vulnerability and care that these two feel for each other was present in the whole room. Garfield subconsciously opened up the Red to Kory because she needed space to think. He provided that safe space for her. You can tell that these two actors are really close because the ease in which the conversations between them happened so genuinely and authentically. When Kory says the line about Sebastian trying to destroy everything she loves and lists off the titans.. I CRIED! Like Anna KILLED that delivery! I really felt the familial love in the room between this team and that’s honestly what we’ve been missing from the entire group for most of the season. Confessions of the love that these characters have for one another. It was so powerful. And Dick and Rachel got something similar, but if I am being honest, it fell a little flat. Some acting choices, script choices, it just didn’t feel as dire as it could have. To have Dick refer to Rachel as his friend, after he just called somebody like Constantine his friend. It makes no sense to me. And again shows a lack of care for Dick’s character development in terms of referring to these people as his family, which I believe he did to Conner in 401 or 402. Again I am just confused by Dick’s progress and vulnerability in the very beginning to complete lack of sentimentality in the end. “Friend” feels so trivial and clinical to their journey as a pair. I didn’t expect daughter because that’s not how Dick rolls but “put my family down” or “put HER down or Rachel” would’ve felt a little better to me. Maybe it was the delivery. Didn’t feel desperate or urgent. But maybe friend means a lot to Dick🫣 I’m glad they got to have their moment.

I love how Gar was loved on this ep. He received so many hugs and smiles and genuine opportunities for people to show him how meaningful he was to them after a tough s3. I LOVE THIS FOR GAR! He is literally the heart and sunshine of the team and he deserved it all. TimBer….. If you like it I love it 🫠 With only two episodes left I have set my expectations accordingly. I hope we get to see Dick lose some type of emotional control over somebody KORY at the very least next week. I am tired of having to create fantasies in my head for how Dick feels. I want it to be shown to me and most importantly KORY! SHOW ME PLEASE!

#dc titans s4 #it’s almost over #AnnaKory made me cry when’s he started recounting all the fun and love she has for everyone #I was like oh this is the beginning of the end #y’all probably gonna hate me for this but whats new #dc titans #dc titans review

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sunshinechay · 1 year

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Heyyyy! Just wanted to hop on and say your blog has been bringing me a lot of joy lately. What is your number 1 show and ship atm that you are keeping up with or would like to reccomend?

You have no idea how happy this made me. I’m glad I could help bring you joy!

For my fav show that I’m watching right now…I would have to say it’s A Boss and A Babe. It’s an office romance between Gun (aka Boss), the president and owner of a video game development company and Cher/Laem, who is an intern with the company. They are also my favourite ship from the show. They are absolutely adorable and the acting duo behind them (ForceBook) have such good chemistry. It’s a really nice more mature BL that gmmtv is doing right now, which is a nice break from their usually line up of school bls. It has it’s light hearted moment and it’s serious moments and I absolutely love Cher’s friend group (#foundfamilygoals). Plus the secondary couple (which we don’t get to see nearly enough of) ThreeZo is every level of adorable you can imagine. I would definitely recommend this show if you aren’t watching it already.

My forever rec, of course, is Not Me (The Series). It is a really interesting and enjoyable series that has a lot of social commentary about life in Thailand, especially with regards to poverty, capitalism, disability and LGBTQ+ issues within the country. The found family in this show is something very special to me, especially because we still get to see growth from them even though White walks into an already established group (also #foundfamilygoals). The flag scene changed me as a person, I will never be normal about this show because of it. It also falls in the “Be Gay, Do Crime” type shows that I always end up loving XD. The main ship, SeanWhite, are everything to me. White is someone who manages to surprise everyone with every turn he makes, despite (and likely a little because of) his kind, caring but ultimately rational and calculated nature/personality. Sean is an absolutely babygirl who is here to fuck shit up and love his boyfriend and lucky for him, he gets to do both at the same time…I love him so much. It’s the first bl I watched that forced a ghost ship on me that I don’t talk about enough but am most definitely not normal about (BlackTodd my beloved). It’s OffGun at their finest and definitely worth the watch. (Gun’s acting alone is worth the watch. It genuinely feels like he is two separate people when he plays each of the twins and holy crap this guy deserves all the roles and all the awards.) The rest of cast is made up of equally talented actors who play their roles spectacularly. All in all, it’s a wild ride that I love to watch again and again.

The ship I’m obsessing over atm is KimChay. I just love them so much and I can’t stop thinking about them haha. I think at least a little of that is how open their ending is, which normally I hate but it works for them, especially with the epilogue of sorts they managed to give them during one of the concert shows. Their dynamic (sunshine and sunshine protector) is one of my favourites. They are a perfect match to me, with Chay, despite being so young, being the most emotionally mature, emotionally intuitive character on the show and Kim being an emotion shunning half feral murder kitten who just wants to protect the boy he loves. I mean Kim literally leaves a pile of dead bodies in a bar to show Chay he loves him, which is fucked up but also oddly adorable as he didn’t have to go to help Chay when he could have helped protect his brothers during the attack on the compound. He chose Chay over everyone else and I think in the end, Chay would/will and does chose him back. I mean my boy Kim thought writing a song and releasing it on the internet and publically declaring it was for Chay was a good way to try and make it up to Chay instead of giving Chay what he wanted. You know, an explanation and a conversation about why Kim thought doing what he did was okay. You’ll never convince me Chay wasn’t already ready to forgive Kim for everything during the breakup scene, he just wanted to hear Kim’s side of the story and have an honest conversation with him about it. I think Chay absolutely understands that he did it for his brothers because Chay would also do anything for his brother, he just wants to hear Kim say it (see again, my belief that Chay is the most emotionally mature character in the entire show, every single adult included XD).

Ironically though the ship I’m reading the most fic for right now is probably VegasPete, though both KinnPorsche and KimChay are in there as well :D

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