#EVERYONE can act a little like a child in an adults body sometimes!! once they feel happy or safe enough!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gothamscormorant · 2 years

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this is how i imagine tim drake…

(a lot of this is also canon/inspired by canon)

click here for the other boys

- absolutely obsessed with star wars.

- has forced everyone to individually binge the series with him at least once.

- but also uk love island and australian bellow deck is definitely his guilty pleasure.

- call me patriotic but i refuse to believe he watches the american versions of reality shows.

- overworks himself on such little sleep that his body giving up and him fainting is a scarily regular occurrence.

- insane martial artist -which people (like most things he can do/does) completely overlook or just don’t care about. this is also canon btw.

- like he can easily knock anyone to the ground in a second, yet because of his small build and mmmm relatively unhealthy state, it goes unnoticed and sometimes unused.

- people always overlook him because of his innocent seeming personality, but he’s so cruel sometimes.

- like he punched jason out cold once for picking up his stuff and holding it over his head, put itching powder in dick’s boxers and bed for hiding the cases he was working on, roofied damian’s nightly hot chocolate so he’d miss family movie night because dami was pissing him off… true slytherin.

- but just like a lot of the things he does, it goes unnoticed/un-delt-with most of the time so he gets away with it. middle child tings.

- not to mention he literally stalked batman and would run around solving murders and dropping off the evidence to gordon before even being a robin.

- he was on the CIA’s watch list for crying out loud!

- doesn’t break the unassuming facade often, but when he goes off the deep end, he goes, and doesn’t stop until he’s satisfied -or stopped.

- scarily persuasive -some would say manipulative, i would say ambitious. i mean he did wiggle his way into the position of robin with sheer willpower.

- i think one of the reasons i love tim so much and are so fascinated by him is because of his capacity to be a villain so easily if he wanted.

- like if he decided one day to turn on everyone… in an instant he has control of a multimillion dollar company, can easily gain control the police, has dirt on every single person, and access to anything he decides he wants: and yet he chooses to do good.

- he could have the world on their knees and yet people still decide to fuck with him because of their naivety.

- villain tim would be terrifying.

- his childhood and a normal loving and attentive family setting was stolen from him. he was always made out to be “mature for his age” and “quiet and sensible” when in reality he was just neglected and bored.

- being a gifted child always comes with its downfalls. like being so unstimulated by his schooling and classmates that he acts out a little bit out of boredom and a craving for attention from his parents; not to mention the social rejection because he’s too “mature” for his peers antics.

- he’d be super socially unaware for his age group. being an only child surrounded by adults (yet forever alone and isolated) would’ve prevented him from ever connecting with fellow kids and their interests.

- so now he likes doing a lot of random “childish” things like skating down the halls in the manor, having a gamer chair as his office chair, playing his nintendo switch in his wayne ent office when he’s bored, having bento box lunches filled with sugary cereal and roll ups, having a mini fridge in his office exclusively filled with yakults, strawberry milk and coffee milk boxes, being fully versed in gen z lingo (which he uses correctly don’t worry) that he uses to talk to people he works with and interacts with at galas etc etc.

- likes to leave little notes in library books for the next people to find; often mildly threatening like “i know what you did”.

- definitely has minor nearsightedness (though he hardly ever wears his glasses, even if he looks really good wearing them).

- when he’s not drinking coffee, he’s chewing gum or mints to counteract the coffee.

- ambidextrous, but favours his left hand meaning his already inconceivably messy quick-notes are also smudged by his hand.

- hands are always cold and numb (leading everyone to believe he probably has rayynaud's syndrome).

- he gets really nervous and tries to avoid people being able to touch his hands, like when they’re handing something to him, or makes sure handshakes are firm and quick -but still respectful- etc (but he loves hand holding, he just worries no one would want to 🥺).

- really good at taking in information and his surroundings quickly.

- often points things out to people that would otherwise go unnoticed like “your eyes look really pretty today” or “your freckles have darkened from the sun” or “they ordered two sugars with their coffee… they always order three” etc.

- he doesn’t constantly say the things he’s thinking, but they come out a lot more when he’s loosing his filter from fatigue.

- he’s always apologising profusely for pointing out things bc he thinks they will think he’s weird or become uncomfortable.

- tim is allergic to almost all nuts except for almonds (wog runs through my veins, i refuse to believe he can’t eat almonds).

- he’s not like epipen allergic, all he needs it some cetirizine.

- bc of this “relatively low risk” (as he would say), if he accidentally eats a nut he’ll usually just not tell anyone while his throat is closing over and his mouth feels like it’s been attacked by mosquitoes.

- he’ll just silently slip away to buy some cetirizine or get some from his pocket/bag.

- this sweet old lady at a charity bake sale once offered tim to try a free slice of her rocky road and it had walnuts in it (btw you guys are monsters if you make the nutty rocky road).

- and he was too anxious to refuse so he took it and finished the whole thing in front of her.

- it took him about 20 minutes and to the point where he was crying and his lips looked like they had fillers that he whispered to bruce he was having a reaction.

- bruce was hysterical.

- he always carries cetirizine on him now just incase tim does that again.

#dc comics #red robin #tim drake #batfam #batboys #headcanon #batfamily #tim drake x reader

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phemiec · 1 year

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your ocs Hag and Mire seem cool af, I gotta know some headcannons about them please~

Ahh! Thanks! Gives me an excuse to ramble about them under the cut (some bodyhorror stuff under the cut cuz it’s me and and it’s mutants just a heads up)

Okay so… basically in this AU Kurt and Toad have an enemies to friends to boyfriends thing near the end of high school, then go back to enemies after a falling out as the Brotherhood ramp up their violent revolutionary activity and go more underground so they can’t be stopped as easily.

I hc toad as trans in general but in this AU more specifically genderfucky in a kind of amphibious way, and actually giving birth out of his back like a Surinam toad (MAJOR Trypophobia warning if you look that up by the way) and so he thinks he’s just growing a couple new growths on his back and rolls with it cuz, hey, he’s used to his mutation changing his body a lot by now when suddenly OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON then boom, uh oh, he’s got twins.

Toad doesn’t have any parental instinct at all really but even he knows a freedom fighting domestic terrorist cell is no place for babies so he breaks into the Xavier Institute in the middle of the night through Kurt’s window and leaves the girls with just a note that says “sorry. -t”

Kurt is obviously stunned and tries to find and confront him but no luck, the brotherhood are laying way low and using unknown tech to block Cerebro. Hank does some paternity test and finds out, yup, these are Kurt’s and Todd’s kids. Kurt has….a bit of an adjustment period, as well as some explaining to do as his and Todd’s relationship hadn’t exactly been in the open.

between everyone at the institute helping him though, he has a village of support in raising the kids, and he really does love them once he allows himself to accept that he’s actually a father, and he takes to it well. He is very doting and supportive but sometimes acts more like a friend than a parent. He’s not a great disciplinarian.

anyway on to the girls!

Hailey (Hag) is tough and rebellious and full of energy from a young age, she is always pushing limits, breaking rules and trying to come along on missions and combat training basically as soon as she can walk and talk. She has a tough time making friends and even as they grow up and more young mutant students closer to her age are recruited, she keeps to herself.

Especially after her acid spit and poisonous claws show up, she keeps everyone at arms length literally and figuratively. the only person she’s at all close to is her sister Mila, who she is very possessive of. She acts tough but is pretty sensitive to perceived rejection so it’s really more of a “hurt them before they hurt you” thing. Though she has some hero worship of the older mutants especially Wolverine as a kid and tries to impress him whenever he’s around, she quickly grows out of that.

Mila (Mire) on the other hand, is very social and curious, she is constantly asking questions and shadowing the adults and other students as a child. She is a dad’s girl for sure, but also thinks of Beast and Forge as paternal figures, ultimately she ends up working alongside them in the science lab quite a lot when she grows up.

She is extremely interested in mutant biology and the science of mutation more so than she is in fighting or politics. Though she is eccentric, and sometimes gleeful over things others find morbid, she is well liked by most of the other x-men because of her genuine, open minded and enthusiastic nature. She loves her sister very much and accepts her abrasive personality as just a quirk of character. Mila is the only person in the institute that isn’t a little unnerved or intimidated by Hailey, and in turn Mila is the only person Hailey fully trusts.

anyway eventually once they’re fighting out in the field they inevitably encounter Toad and he’s like “Oh shit! You’re those weird things that came outa me! I guess we should talk or something?” Kurt hasn’t told them anything about their other parent, so the girls agree, suspiciously but curiously, to sneak out and secretly meet up with Todd outside of battle.

when they meet it’s incredibly awkward for all of them, but Todd very plainly explains everything, and it matches up with what they’ve figured out so far. Mila sneaks some DNA from one of his hairs, and after it comes back positive the girls confront Kurt. Who sheepishly and regretfully fills in the blanks.

this is enough for Mila who has had her curiosity satisfied, but Hailey is furious. She is enraged that the enemy they’ve been fighting this whole time has been her other parent, and it spurs her paranoia over what else the institute’s been keeping from them. she keeps meeting up with Todd secretly on her own, and eventually meets the other brotherhood members and is gradually swayed over to their motives and methods.

Now feeling like her whole childhood was a lie, she tries to get Mila to leave with her and join the brotherhood, but when she won’t, Hailey feels fully betrayed, as though Mila is choosing everyone else over her. She leaves and joins the BH, and from then on it’s parent and child versus parent and child! Kurt and Mila are devastated and keep trying to get her back, but every attempt just bolsters her resolve, especially as she gets closer with Todd and forms bonds with the brotherhood members she never had with any of the x-men.

if there’s any reconciliation in sight I haven’t thought it up yet but that’s where they’re at in that drawing.

thanks for the interest! Been a while since I made such self indulgent OCs but I love them a lot lol.

#Hag and mire #xmen oc #x men evolution #Asks #anonymous #ocs #kurtodd #loooooong post sorry haha

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scremogirl · 8 months

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𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬/𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Hello everyone! If you didn’t see my intro post in my pins, my name is Sosa/Sos (So-S)

Yes, I am a minor. Yes, I write explicit content. Yes, I read adult content. No, that does not mean I will stalk you or try to interact with you if you are 18(+). *If i like yo shit it’s prolly on accident cause I be scrolling fast asf😭 I remove from my likes* If you are uncomfortable with me reading you’re blog or my content, feel free to block me. It’s alright, I promise. I broke your rules, you are entitled to do what you want. However, don’t be the age police and try to get my posts banned or blocked. Don’t act like you’ve never done what I’m doing either. Also, don’t be a hypocrite and read, like, or reblog my shit if your +18 and don’t allow minors on you page; like what’s the point of having that there if your gonna do any of those. I’m being very open and honest about myself with you and I expect the same respect Im giving. You not my mama, so don’t try and act like it.

𝐊𝐞𝐲/𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

★♑︎☆彡𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎✪𝐍!☆♏︎★

✧✩🜚𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐂 🜸𖤐✰

✩𖤐☆𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄…

☾✧꥟ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ✧✰☀︎︎

✪⁂✫彡𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓✵✥☆ミ★

⚠︎︎-Smut

❤︎︎-fluff

☹︎-Angst

!REQUESTS OR ALMOST ALWAYS OPEN!

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫

Bleach

Naruto

JuJutsu Kaisen

Gangsta

One piece

Demon Slayer

Hunter Hunter

Haikyuu

Kuroko no Basket

Saiki K

Marvel (Includes spiderverse)

Avatar

Ocs; such as yanderes etc.

Slashers

Monsters

Twisted Wonderland

God of War (This is mostly self indulgent but if you ask I will)

𝐖𝐡𝐨’𝐥𝐥 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫

(In the order above)

All characters except; Momo, Hiyiori, Toshiro (romantically, I can write platonically like friends), Orohime, Neil, kakakura school squad, child characters (Toshiro and Neil fit this for me), Yami, almost all sterwritter except for a handful (request one or message me and I’ll tell you if I do it or don’t). And sometimes Renji (I can only see him with Rukia sometimes).

All characters (If you request Orochimaru imma kill you)

All characters (Except panda, Mahito, and puppet form mechamaru. If you request any of these ur weird)

All characters

All characters (except Murichiro, Nezuko, Gyokko, Daki, Uzui (+) wives, Iguro and Mitsuki; THEY ARE MADD FOR EACHOTHER AND NOBODY ELSE)

Phantom Troupe (+) Illumi (No Hisoka)

All characters

Saiki only

Almost any DC character you can think of I’d probably write for them. (Except joker I will refuse)

Justice League (Cartoon)

Justice League Unlimited(Cartoon)

Same thing as DC. A little less for this one but still.

X-men evolution

X-men anime

Everyone but Tuk and Spider (1st and 2nd movie)

Yours or mine

Almost anyone but Chucky

No Goblins

All characters but Ortho and Grim

Kratos

⚠︎︎ 𝐍𝐎 𝐆𝐎⚠︎︎

NO BODILY FLUIDS EXCEPT ☾u♏︎.

Blood play

BDSM (maybe some light bondage)

Knife play or any weapons

Play 🍇 (maybe dub-con but I’m not sure)

Incest/Step-cest

“Daddy” kink (kinda a hypocrite for this but I will write for “Mommy”. Papi/Pa/Papa is all okay for me.)

Anal

Not that’s it’s a “No go” for me but I don’t write for things that don’t match me. For example; I will not write for other races or body types. That’s why I prefer to keep all my “y/n’s” either gender neutral, afab, only describing them with black features, or just not describing them at all.

Everything else is pretty much on the table

Lastly, I am in school so I can’t say that my posts will be consistent. But my goal is to try and post an Imagine, Full Fic, and headcanon every week. They all might be on the same day, one on Mon and 2 on Fri, scattered throughout the week. My goal is just to post at least 3 diff works a week. We’ll see cause I might give up 😭. *Update 10/5/23; I realized that I post an Aot fic at least once every week at this point. It’s eqsy for me to write them so it might be a weekly thing. I’m not sure tho let me know what you think*

Prompts and Req are welcomed. All you need to do is tell me how you wanted formatted, headcanon, full fic, imagine or even one shots. Then tell me your idea or prompt. I’m open to making new friends and you don’t even have to req anything, we could just interact. If you are having a hard time finding a post of mine just copy and paste one of the keys provided above into the tags. I also need to figure out how to turn posts into a link. Help plz. THANK U.

- Love, Sosa.

Just as an FWI, this is temporary until I set up a new and improved list. Be a little patient as it it will take a while to do.

Thank you ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

#Rules and Masterlist

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mattypattypinky · 1 month

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Gonna respond to this in a screenshot

BC I don't want this post to go in the FANDOM tags

(mainly bc i don't want to have to interact and argue w ppl bc of a hc😭)

Okay, first of all, everyone is entitled to their opinion / interpretation of him and his character. I mean, I'm a firm believer that he is an adult, but I know other people disagree. And that is okay.

That being said, one of the reasons I head canon him as an adult is simply because the ambiguous age, and the fact that I am one, and ship with him and I'm not going to ship with a 12 year old. (I know, shocking.)

But it goes further than that.

THE ART BOOK

we know from the art-book, that 🐐🌈 is canonically an adult.

I see the 🐐💚 form as nothing but a memory of what he once was.

Fifth anniv. ⏰ dialogues

I've seen a lot of people on Twitter saying that using this dialogue doesn't count, and that people 'erase the context of it' so I'm going to show the full context here.

Here, he sort of claims that he is grown up.

A lot of people argue that right under this line of dialogue he is being childish, and that kids refer to themselves as grown ups all the time, which that is true. But we have to take into consideration that adults are allowed to enjoy things, as well.

He goes against his own statement by hinting at exactly what type of gift he wants, and a lot of people argue that this is proof that he's just a child playing pretend, but I disagree with that mindset. Adults are allowed to want things, when you become an adult you do not just magically stop wanting fun things like coloring supplies and colorful things.

My best example/argument... would be 🍝🦴 himself.

A majority of the fandom interprets 🍝🦴 as an adult (from what I am aware of?) - despite him acting much more childish and innocent than 🌻 is.

He collects action figures, he wants to have a shiny red car, he gets read a bedtime story about fluffy bunnies, he plays dress up with a "battle body" constantly, there's more examples but need I say more??? Point being, despite his childish demeanor and innocent portrayal (despite him being one of the toughest monsters imo) - he is often portrayed or interpreted as an adult.

There is a point, where I feel like it might become a double standard??? imo??

How come 🍝🦴 can act just as, if not more childish than 🌻 does, and yet still be considered an adult?

Now the argument could be something like, oh 🌻 is more childish emotionally.

Well, yeah. He's traumatized???

He got murdered, and is stuck in a time loop and a flower essentially, and has grown too cold to feel for others. Of course he is going to be explosive, irrational at times, and immature. It's because he's been hurt, his mind works different than 🍝🦴's because he has gone through more pain than he has and remembers it.

I feel like the argument that "Oh he acts immature so he's a child" is harmful not only bc it stimulates this belief that adults just magically lose their immature / happy fun sides, but also I think it's a little bad for neurodivergient people out there who are a lot like him.

There are adults out there who can still want childish things, and that is okay. There are adults out there who still react immaturely to their emotions, and that is okay.

Hell, I'm gonna be turning 19 in like... 2 months, and I still would KILL to have like, toys and colorful things decking out my room and whatnot. It would be really, really nice. Does that make ME a child?

And I still spiral out of control sometimes with my emotional outbursts.

There are bipolar people, there are narcissists, and there are plenty of other things, and I know an adult who is about to be in their 40's who get excited over batman toys at five below.

Point being, I interpret him as a neurodivergient adult who is traumatized and deserved time to heal.

I probably will have more to say about this at some point later. Again this is just my interpretation/thoughts on it ur allowed to see him different

#mattypattypinkyposts #🌻💔#ruins romance #ruins ranting

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marvelmaniac715 · 1 year

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It’s another au! This one is about everyone’s favourite traumatised six year old: Andy Barclay! And this fic actually features Karen, and I’m looking forward to that because I haven’t really written about her before.

————————————————————-

At the age of six, Andy Barclay changed. Up until that point, he was a polite, happy, well-behaved little boy who got along with everybody. But seemingly overnight, the laughter and smiles disappeared, replaced by suspicious glares and cruel smirks.

His mother took it the hardest. For years, she had a wonderful relationship with her son, but not long after he got that damned Good Guy doll… Karen had lost her sweet little boy forever. Now he cursed, he stole, he tried to smoke, she even caught him beating up other kids once or twice.

It only got worse as he grew older, by the age of eleven Andy Barclay was an absolute menace. Sometimes Karen feared him, the child had no remorse and no mercy, if you annoyed him even slightly, he’d punch you, bite you and verbally assault you until you felt like crying. And he took such delight in it too.

One day, Andy brought home a woman called Tiffany Valentine. He was very mad when Karen kicked her out and slammed the door.

When Karen could take it no more, she pulled Andy aside roughly by the arm and shook him.

“Alright, who are you?”

At first Andy blinked innocently, trying to seem confused.

“Huh? Mom, I’m Andy.”

Karen shook her head.

“No, my son was nothing like you. You- whatever you are- took over my little boy’s body when he was six years old, and all I want to know is who are you?”

The boy grinned and cackled.

“Satan.”

No, that wasn’t it. That would be too obvious. This was someone else, but who? Karen shook him again, growing more irritated.

“Cut the crap. Who are you?”

Genuinely frightened (even if momentarily) the person in front of her backed up slightly and raised their hands in surrender.

“Alright, alright, geez! Calm down lady, I’ll tell you. My real name is Charles Lee Ray, but my friends call me Chucky.”

Karen gasped in horror. The Lakeshore Strangler had possessed her son? But how? She was so shocked that she backed into a shelf, knocking various pieces of cutlery to the ground.

“How did you possess Andy?”

Chucky smirked.

“Voodoo is a wonderful thing, you can do anything through the power of Damballa. Your son was a very willing host, I was in that little doll you gave him for his birthday. All I had to do was convince him that his daddy sent me to Earth to play with him and he was putty in my hands.”

Karen began to cry now. This was all her fault… she had doomed her son just because she wanted to give him the perfect birthday. As if trying to alleviate the tension (or add to Karen’s suffering, who knows) Chucky casually remarked:

“He asks about you all the time. I’m not a monster, I let him float close to the surface quite a lot, but I can’t bear to lose control of this vessel, so he won’t be taking control anytime soon. He told me to tell you that he loves you though, if that’s any consolation.”

Filled with a sudden, furious fire, Karen exclaimed:

“I’m not letting you have him any longer! I’ll find help, I don’t know how or where, but god knows I won’t stop until you’re out of there-‘

“And what makes you think I can’t stop you?”

Karen snorted.

“You have the strength and power of an eleven year old, you can’t stop a grown adult, small fry.”

That’s when Chucky backed away a little bit further, widening his eyes that were now glistening with tears and shielding his face with his hands. Then, in a heartbreaking voice, he called out:

“No- Mommy, please stop! It hurts- please stop!”

He had her there. If he pretended to be abused he could get himself taken away, then Karen would be powerless and would never be able to see her son again. Admitting defeat, she sighed and asked:

“So what do you want me to do then?”

Shaking off the whole ‘frightened’ act, Chucky crossed his arms and said:

“Well, you’re a mother, and mothers are supposed to support their children. I may not be your biological son, but I’m in his body, so by all technicality we’re family. Now, move your ass, I gotta get to soccer practice.”

————————————————————-

That evening, as the monster that was possessing her son went to bed, it suddenly struck Karen that Andy could possibly gain control whilst his body was asleep, or at least be able to hear things around him. With that in mind, she crept into her son’s bedroom and gently stroked hair out of her little boy’s eyes before quietly whispering:

“Andy? Can you hear me? It’s Mommy. Listen, I’m so sorry that I got you into this mess, and I promise that I’ll get him out of you. Goodnight baby, I love you.”

It seemed like a foolish hope, but just as she stood to leave the room, she heard a timid voice (warm and kind, not like��him) whisper:

“G’night, Momma, please get him out soon…”

#chucky #chucky series #childs play #bride of chucky #charles lee ray #karen barclay #andy barclay #tiffany valentine #au #horror #fanfiction

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idv-ask-the-showman · 1 year

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{OC Random Quotes}

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

Phineas Smith:-

“Whenever someone try to insult me with “You not just a clown, you the entire circus” i thanks them!!”

“People always would assume that working in a circus automatically make you a clown and a failure in life!! But oh~ how naive of them to even think like that while not knowing what’s actually going on behind the stages. Someone must be brave and skilful to just perform in a circus and to get a wonderful smile and laugh from everyone”

“I have no idea when my love for tea started but it sure is one of the only things that calm me down after a long tiring day.”

“Smile!! You never fully dressed without one~”

“My shows always have a story to tell like a storybook and it is up to the audience to put it all together to use their imagination!!”

“THIS IS MY SHOW!!!!” (Angry/lost it)

“My little brother can be a bit sensitive if in a good or bad way but I’m the end he is a good kid and a smart one at that who cares for his family and friends… after all he still a kid and shouldn’t even be here in this game” (about Flynn)

“Lily and Gabriel are my childhood friends!! So you can just imagine my sheer excitement and joy when I saw them once again after all this time after I come here, hahah~” (about Lily and Gabriel @ask-the-artist-lily)

“Heifu? Oh yeah~ he was the first person I met when I arrived to the manor!! and let us just say our first meeting wasn’t the… Friendliest. BUT we are now somewhat friends with a small rivalry.” (about Heifu @idv-ask-the-unknown)

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

Flynn Smith:-

“I self taught myself how to use the daggers when I saw the other crew use them to perform and nobody known about this until my father find out but he allowed me to continue after seeing how skilled I was!”

“I like sweet a LOT!! So much so I think it become a problem sometimes but can you blame me?”

“Those voices in my head… they can be so annoying and especially with Sanity.”

“I love my big brother so much but he can be quite naive and childish that I have to act as the adult one at times… hahah is fun tho” (about Phineas)

“I don’t know Lily and Gabriel as long as my brother does of course but they are so kind and nice to me and when Gabriel is around I can rest assured that everything would be fin under his watch and I can actually act like a normal kid!!” (about Gabriel and Lily)

“Heifu is so much fun to spend time with and I enjoy the cute little butterfly he have!!” (About Heifu)

“Never underestimate me just because I am a child… the last person who did ended up dismembered~ HEHEH~ =)” (Sanity talking)

“Even if he hates me, Flynn can not do anything without me and he know it but refuses to admit it =)” (Sanity talking)

“One day I will have control over the body ^^!” (Sanity talking)

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶

A bit long but meh!! I am the type who always like to put a lot of words and details Hahah

#identity v #identity v oc #phineas smith #identity v ask blog #identity v hunter #idv #the showman phineas #ask blog #ask #identity v survivor #Flynn smith #quote

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faebhaal · 1 month

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MOMENTS OF INNER CHILD - muse edition show the world key moments of your muse's child and inner child.

Infant: Curiosity kills the cat. But it's natural for even the youngest children to be curious of the world around them and there's much in the Feywild to be in wonder over. When Laylani doesn't have the little larvae swaddled, she lets the child roam free. Sometimes it's ripping wings off butterflies. Other times she has to pull the silly sprite from the water's edge. Mischief seems to follow the child from the very first breath of life --- manifesting in rampant wild magic. It's tiresome and the only thing that seems to calm the babe during tantrums is a lullaby sung in Sylvan or even a tune played on the lute or even flute. If the Queen of Hearts hadn't been so interested in adding the child to her hive of worker bees, Laylani would have absolutely eaten the troublesome maggot.

Child: No matter how hard she stomps the puddle, the only thing to come of it is more mud being splashed about. Ithaca's sobs are deafening, her crying inconsolable no matter what her vile nanny says to her. How could mother throw her away so easily? She was only doing what the whispers told her. "Small lady, we've got to move on." the goblin advises. He tells her too that her wings have got to go. This time he's the one to glamour them away. And so she walks. And walks. And walks. Her body aches, while her hunger is sated by the scraps of whatever she can find --- animal or mortal. When she's finally found, she looks like a feral beast covered in dirt and blood with twigs and leaves tangled in mauve locks. The woman with the ram-like horns doesn't care though; no Ithaca is pulled into a tight embrace that at first leaves her stunned. Then she settles into it and returns it tenfold. Tears once again start up and she doesn't want to let go. It feels like an eternity since she's gotten even a shred of affection.

Adult: The Feast of the Moon is as grand as always. Ithaca stands atop one of the blood stained tables, theatrically recounting the tale of Uthaedeol's legendary murder of King Samyte of Tethyr. In true bardic fashion she acts it out, dancing around plates and cups. Everyone is in enthralled by her performance, all eyes on her. The attention, and the praise, leaves her overjoyed. The grin upon her lips stretches from ear to ear when she takes her place at the head once more. As she sits in her throne, listening to all her father's followers talk amongst themselves, it dawns on her she's finally gotten what she's always wanted: adoration and acceptance. Yet even knowing that, for some reason loneliness gnaws at her heart. How stupid to feel such a way when she is the favored child; Bhaal's chosen and most beloved. What need does she have for any others? Still, there's a hunger that lingers that's been around almost as long as she's been alive.

tagged by: @spiderwarden

#;;headcanons #/ steal it from me if u want #/ idk if I did this right but two pivotal moments & a brief description of how Ith's mom viewed her

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joshbruh10x · 2 years

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Random Headcanons for them SB characters

So i listed some headcanons I like to think happen, they are literally living rent free in my head and I just wanted to share em with somebody lmao.

*sharp inhales*

THESE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IM NOT SAYING THEY’RE CANON OK WE GOOD? O K GOOD

*exhales*

Oh btw these are in alphabetical order bc i say so :> Bonnie-acts like a literal vegetarian, eats a bunch of carrots bc he a bunny

-really likes his bowling attraction but likes Fazer Blast more

-will not hesitate to jump at you with full speed if you manage to fully piss him off

-does stand-up comedy at night in his bowling alley

-the dude’s body build is like thin but broad

-he likes to annoy Freddy using his epic s p e e d

-his program was a bit more upgraded to protect kids (bc kids and heavy bowling equipment do not end pretty)

Chica

-Yes she loves Pizza but will go crazy for small finger food or snacks like chips, fries, finger sandwhiches, etc.

-Pops off when she feels like it

-You thought Monty was the strongest? H A H NO ITS CHICA

-She has a gym and she’s practically the buffest out of all of them

-Literally the light of everyone’s day, without her, Roxy would’ve crashed a car at a child or Monty would’ve started eating babies

-She has a built in ecometer to keep the place clean, but that also means she sometimes has to clean trash, by e a t I n g

DJMM

-loud when he wants to be

-his children are the little music men in the vents

-his bouncer mode will not hurt you, but will simply just fling you back to the elevato

r-loves the peace and quiet

-he doesn’t need to eat but Chica tried getting him to taste pizza atleast once or twice

Foxy

-does he even exist

-whatever anyways, foxy a very caring person despite his rash nature

-literally the third-or fourth wheel? Of Bonnie Monty and Freddy

-he doesn’t need love he got his booty

-his treasure get your mind out of the fucking gutters

-teams with sun and moon in the daycare theater

-it’s a hassle to keep his fur well groomed

Freddy

-YOOOO ITS BEAR DAD

-cannot stand any foul language within a 10 feet radius especially if its Gregory

-Best cook in the house/pizzaplex whoop whoop

-Will not hesitate to help anyone, you dropped your wallet near him? He will instantly rush to get it for you

-Despite being the main singer of the band, he sometimes lets the others lead-If he’s too tired, he will be in sleep mode until he’s well rested

-Are you feeling sad, like you wanna cry for no apparent reason at all? Too bad he’s on your way right now to hug you

-He dated Bonnie first before roping Monty to their side

Gregory

-feral child all the way

-he knows who eli and cc is do not ask

-his legal name is now Gregory Fazbear

-Everyone acts like a specified guardian to him, Freddy his dad, Monty and Bonnie his cool uncles, Chica his aunt, Roxy and Vanessa his epic older sisters, sun/moon the protective babysitters

-he finally made a deal with the vent music men to stop attacking him in return of leading them back to DJMM

-Picked up cursing from Monty and adult jokes from Bonnie, Freddy is not impressed

Monty

-finally get to write headcanons bout the gator boi

-Nervous-ass wreck, when he first started as the bassist replacing Bonnie, he literally does not know what he’s doing leading him to cry and wreck his room on his first day

-man’s more upset replacing Bonnie than Bonnie actually is

-he knew Bonnie before replacing him

-HAHA GAY PANIC ATTACKS

-His cooking is literal rng, sometimes it comes out burnt to crisps, others, he makes fine ass cuisine

-He cannot control his tail, if it wags uncontrollably and hits you in the face you know it’s not his fault

-He wants control of the situation every single time, are we driving to mcdonald’s? Monty calls driver, unless it’s Freddy then he calls shotgun

-Amazing upper strength but he skipped leg day, yeah he can jump high but can he kick stuff as good as he can punch? I don’t think so

-Gator Uncle and Feral child causes mayhem

-When Freddy and Bonnie invited him to their relationship, my god was this gator soft as a LITERAL marshmallow on pillows

Moon

-your typical depressed angsty teen

-loves listening to soft lullabitic music

-has the same obsession of cleanliness with sun

-he likes bitter flavored foods, don’t ask how he can eat bc I don’t know either

-Despises Monty due to him babbling about everything and is disturbing the peace and quiet

-learned how to not scare Gregory for once

Roxy

-Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep

-Never let’s go of Chica when she’s in sight

-despite having a Feminine build, she is very strong-bangs her head when metal music starts playing

-Monty and Roxy are besties for life

-DID YOU JUST LOOK AT HER GF? She will glare at you the moment Chica leaves the room

-Anything that ruins her form, she will and I mean WILL cry about it, a nudge on her makeup? Frizzy hair? C R Y I N G ENSUES

-When Gregory took her eyes, she relied more on smell than sound, she has memorized about what everyone smells like, Freddy smells like cologne and fiber, Monty smells like fresh damp grass, Chica smelled like lavender and Pizza (most occasions trash), Foxy smells like the Caribbean and Bonnie smelt like vegetables or Bowling polish

-She was Foxy’s replacement, none of them minded, they get along

-Teases Monty each time Freddy or Bonnie is near, calls him Lover-Gator

Sun

-my god who fed the animatronic sugar?

-Too hyperactive and is all around the place

-Gets along with Monty and his loud attitude-He is aware of Moon not liking Monty so Sun likes rubbing it in his face

-Another reason he gets along with the gator is Sweets, they both love sugar that Freddy found them sleeping in the daycare surrounded by cans of Fizzy faz and chocolate bars, animatronics can get food commas???

-ball of SUNshine aha get it

-Nothing gets in his way when he wants to play (yo that rhymed)

-Gregory finally warmed up to him

-Acts as the therapist of the Pizzaplex, very understanding and calm when he needs to be

-Vanessa is his top customer to his therapy sessions, the girl needs more than a beer or two

Vanessa

-after getting saved by Gregory and the gang, she vowed to keep Gregory safe

-Chocoholic, Coffeeholic, Alcoholic (but not so much alcohol she get’s drunk, that’s a rare occurance when she does a full day shift)

-Less strict to the animatronics but she does glare at them when they try to do something stupid (cough cough Bonnie and Gregory)

-As I said, Sun is her therapist-She has access to everything on the Pizzaplex so she can be anywhere

-She also has her own apartment to stay at but she likes sleeping overnight at the pizzaplex, she has a warm couch, some blankets and coffee

-The animatronic she seems to warm up to the most is Chica

Vanny

-not much to say about her

-sassy and aggressive, her most hated animatronic? Freddy

-brings a knife everywhere she goes

-devoted her life to burntrap like some husband or smth, looks like Bonnie isn’’t the only Rabbit simp in the Pizzaplex

-Vanny is now arrested and is broght to rehab to forget about Glitchtrap but it doesn’t seem to be working lmao

William (this is just for fun)

-LITERAL OLD MAN WHO WON’T STAY IN HIS RETIREMENT HOME

-SOMEONE GET MIKE HERE HIS DAD WONT STFU

-he always comes back-his weak frail body is now even weaker because of Blob

-when will he die, goddamit guys, use ice or smth, fire is obviously not working, IM LOOKING AT YOU THREE HENRY, MIKE AND GREGORY

Ok wow that was a lot, so uhh yea enjoy this stupid brain rot

Atleast im not the only one suffering

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skellebonez · 3 years

Note

Hmmm how about MK and Monkie King with number 1 and number 45

I wanted to write a follow up to a certain fill that got some wonderful art recently too! But then the finale happened and now I made it depressing, sorry. Spoilers for... everything as this is set 3 days after the final episode. This also plays around with the “Sun Wukong is still super immortal and powerful but...” and other theories. (second prompt line is only used as inspiration in fill)

Do not give me that look./ You may technically be an adult, but you’re still my child.

The moment MK's curse was lifted and he was re-aged from 4 years old to adult Wukong acted like nothing had happened at all. No understanding conversations about how his powers could hurt him, no cooking together, no video games, and no accidental couch naps. It was as if the entire day had been undone to the sands of time.

But MK remembered and when the literal next day Wukong announced he was going on vacation... let's just say he was not happy in the slightest. He had tried to voice his objections, citing the Spider Queen as a prime example for why they should be worried, but the immortal monkey just flashed him dual thumbs up with a “Monkey King Out!” and flashed off somewhere MK couldn’t follow.

And now he was back and while MK had been more than happy to get going at first, to push everything that happened deep down inside him and ignore it for as long as possible (why was he doing that, he needed to stop doing that, look where that got them he was a mistake a bad choice as a successor and now he’s barely a successor at all) there was only so long he could go before it became clear there was more wrong than what Sun Wukong was telling him.

There was more wrong with Sun Wukong himself that he refused to admit.

He tried to hide it as well as he could. Despite the heat outside and the fur covering his body he still wore full body clothing. Hiding away the gashes and healing scars that riddled his form now. There was a nick in his eyebrow that had never gone away, and when MK watched closely he could see his mentor sometimes place his hand too far to the left when grabbing something. He walked with a slight limp, though that had improved over the last few days.

And he was quiet. Yes, when someone was addressing him he was “yeah totally, we got this fam, onward westward!”, but when MK caught him alone... especially outside on the deck of the drone, watching the horizon, he was more quiet and still than the Monkie Kid had ever seen him before.

Or maybe he was always like this and now Wukong was too hurt or distracted enough or just didn’t care anymore that MK was finally seeing him.

It was hard to tell with how distant he had been the last three days. Distant in the same way the day after the curse was lifted, but quieter.

“We need to talk,” He said from behind his mentor, watching as Wukong’s tail jumped only a little. Maybe that was just surprise at the words themselves. “Alone. Please.”

He expected Wukong to brush him off, to say “aw bud, can’t it wait? look at the sunset!” despite the sun having set so far they barely had any light left or something else. But instead he straightened up (MK heard the slight crack of his back again, much softer than when he had first heard it after their crash landing, and he wondered how much his back had healed from whatever injury it had) and turned to his student with an odd expression. Somewhat soft and fond and somewhat worried and resigned. Like this was more than just 3 days coming (and it was).

“Let’s... get something to eat first, alright?”

MK didn’t mention that they had eaten just over an hour ago.

They sat in the kitchen of the drone, alone under the dimmed lights with cups of tea and sliced fruit between them (mostly for Wukong). Neither had said anything as they prepared the small snack, and neither said anything as they sat down and took sips of their tea.

MK had made it slightly too strong.

“What did you want to ask first?” Wukong started off, picking up a peach slice and biting into it carefully. Slowly. This was something else that was noticed. Before when eating the Monkey King would just shove whatever he was eating in his mouth and MK wasn't certain he tasted it. But now it was like he was trying to make every meal last as long as possible. “There’s... a lot. I can tell.”

“We spent an entire day together and then you left without telling me anything,” MK said firmly, gripping the tea cup in his hands. He squeezed harder, just to see what would happen. It should have shattered... it didn’t. “Why didn’t you just... say something?”

“... I thought I was protecting you,” Wukong admitted honestly, taking another bite of peach. “And the city, the others... That if I acted distant you wouldn’t wonder where I went a-”

“Wouldn’t wonder wh- no!” MK interrupted, gritting his teeth. “No, Monkey K- Wukong.” The change in how MK addressed him made Wukong jolt, looking at him with wide eyes. He had never called him by his name before now. “We spent an entire day together. You took care of me, helped me when my powers went haywire, helped me make food! You never treated me like that before! You treated me like... Like I was...”

“My kid,” Wukong finished for him, now looking down into his tea cup. “MK... You’re an adult, I know that, but somewhere down the line I started to think of you as... I didn’t know till then I guess, and that terrified me. The idea of you getting hurt that day was the only thing that compared to admitting I got attached to you as more than just my student.”

Had this revelation come sooner MK might have been more surprised. More disbelieving. But after that day and everything that happened once the curse was gone...

“... you have a funny way of showing it,” MK snapped without thinking, eyes widening and jolting upright when he realized what he had said. “I-”

“Don’t,” Wukong said with a shake of his head, sipping his tea with a sigh. “You deserve to be angry with me. I talked to, uh... Pigsy? Sandy too. Tang.... Mei. Your boss in particular laid into me pretty hard after the excitement died down... Don’t know how I went 1000 years without knowing what a ‘lie by omission’ was.”

“... you abandoned me.”

“Yes... I didn’t mean it that way, but that doesn’t change that I did.”

“You didn’t trust me.”

“NO.” Wukong said firmly, voice raised for the first time in days. MK glowered at him. “No, that is one thing I will not back down on. Yes, I lied to you and left you behind and that was a mistake I will need to make up for over a long time, but it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you. I trusted you to take care of yourself, to teach yourself the lessons I left behind, and take care of the city. And you did! You did so much better than I even hoped for, and I hoped so badly that you would do as well as you did! I didn’t leave you there because I didn’t trust you, I left you there because I did... and because I thought I had to do everything myself...” He sighed, running a hand down his face. “I’ve been alone so long... I forgot I could do things with help on my end, I guess...”

“If... If Lady Bone Demon hadn’t finished what she was doing...?”

“Had the Lady Bone Demon not been working faster than I thought she was I would have come back with nothing less than even more trust in you as my successor.”

“... am I even still your successor without...?” MK trailed off, trying to keep his voice level. The tea cup still held strong.

“Yes,” Wukong assured, reaching out to put a hand on MK’s shoulder. MK noticed how he almost missed and corrected his hand. “The staff and my powers alone didn’t make you my successor. I picked you before those, remember? You’re still the Monkie Kid, MK. Nothing is going to change that for me.”

The young man went quiet for a moment, taking a shaky breath. He wanted to ask why he was chosen, what made him so special... but there would be time for that in the future. For now he had gotten at least some of his questions answered. But there was something much more pressing to touch on.

“,,, you’ve been lying to all of us,” he accused suddenly, reaching up and grabbing the wrist of Wukong’s hand on his shoulder before he could pull back. He looked his mentor in the face, watching as Wukong’s eyes widened in realization and horror. “Do not give me that look. Stop... please, stop lying. I’m not stupid, I can see you’re still hurt bad. You’re supposed to be invincible but you came back hurt and... and almost nothing can hurt you!”

Wukong didn’t meet MK’s gaze, looking down at their snack as he breathed heavily and shakily. He knew he was caught, that much was obvious.

“Please... talk to me, for once. I know I do the same thing, I lied to everyone else by not telling them about LBD or the calabash or Macaque coming back-” Wukong tensed at that, an odd sound escaping his throat. “-and look where it got us. We both need to talk. To everyone else. To each other.”

Wukong’s arm was shaking where MK held it, but he didn’t try to pull it back. Not until MK let it go. He sat back down, looking at the table like it held all the secrets of the universe before bringing his hand up to cover his eye. The one with the nicked eyebrow.

“Bud...” Wukong started, biting his lip. There was something wrong in his tone. “I... you were going to find out eventually. I can’t keep this up forever, not like Macaque can.” MK tensed at the mention of the other immortal monkey, watching as Wukong did not move his hand. “This takes a lot of focus. And... with my invincibility partly gone-”

“What?” MK asked, so soft he thought Wukong hadn’t heard him.

“... You didn’t get my powers from the staff, MK,” Wukong said. “And they don’t just duplicate. That’s not how they work. From day one I have been... siphoning my powers to you. Bit by bit. As you got better at controlling them I would give you more until I felt I didn’t need them myself anymore. When I locked away your invincibility I just undid what I had given you and slowed down the transfer... you’d been half invincible for weeks.”

“No...” MK started, slowly realizing what Wukong was implying. “No, no you’re lying again! This is a terrible, horrible prank!” Despite wanting to be quiet before MK found himself yelling. “Say you’re still lying!”

“No,” Wukong shook his head, looking down at the scar on his arm that was now visible as his sleeve had slipped down. “Most of this will probably heal eventually, except maybe one thing, and I’m still immortal! There’s no undoing that no matter what I do. I’m not dying any time soon. But my transformations? Cloning? My cloud...” He trailed off at that, breaking in a shaky breath. “You didn’t even get to use that... Lady Bone Demon took all of it when she took it from you. I still have some powers, some of my transformations and hair stuff and some invincibility... but I’m not the same overpowered Monkey King you met when you freed DBK...”

And as he trailed off, Wukong lowered his hand. Something flickered, something familiar. Too familiar. Reminiscent of Macaque’s shadows but brighter. And after there was something else reminiscent. In reverse.

MK had only seen it for a split second, when all of Macaque’s glamor magic had dropped. The milky white right eye and the scar over it that was left behind from his battle with Wukong 500 years ago.

And now Wukong looked at him with a similarly white left eye, a similar scar that wasn’t just a nicked eyebrow running down his face.

It makes sense in retrospect, much more. MK supposed that when you lose an eye you lose depth perception and it takes a while to get used to judging where things are.

“... what happened before you came in to save me?” MK asked quietly, watching as more of the glamor fell with a curse from Wukong. There was another nick on his cheek that was still healing, a piece of one of his ears had been ripped off too. No doubt there were more injuries under his clothes that Wukong hadn’t let anyone see.

“She has Macaque under her control,” Wukong said plainly, groaning as he held his head. “Damn, that... letting that down...” He groaned again and before MK could realize what was happening Wukong’s eyes rolled back into his head and he slipped from his chair to the floor.

“WUKONG!” MK shot up, rushing over to his side and yelling over his shoulder in the hopes someone would hear. “Pigsy! D-DADSY! Help, SOMETHING’S WRONG!”

When Pigsy rushed in with the others in tow Wukong hadn't regained consciousness.

#and i shall leave it there because I am clearly evil #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #gen fic #monkey king #sun wukong #mk #qi xiaotian #lmk spoilers #i have too may theories and this is just one #prompt fill

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angelsxbelle · 3 years

Text

growing up in love with you.

w/ oikawa, kuroo, and daichi

helloooo my beautiful beans:) i’m here to feed you with some more hurt comfort headcanons/scenarios since we’re all lonely and in love with anime boys :’)))

likes and reblogs are very appreciated!!!

genre: fluff and angst, hurt comfort, slice of life

pairings: oikawa x reader, daichi x reader, kuroo x reader x fem! reader

listen to: line without a hook, ricky montgomery

@moonhere i’m pretty sure this was your request with oikawa i’m so sorry this took so long omg

note: takes place during timeskip so beware of spoilers!!

warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of female anatomy and pronouns

oikawa, TOORU

oikawa tooru appears to have his life together on the outside, but in his mind he still feels like he’ll never be enough

in your relationship, he’s worked impossibly hard to better himself to the point where he’s not insecure which would cause a strain on the both of you, but he still has moments where he lets himself become consumed in his own thoughts

being with you has been possibly the best thing ever to happen to him, but at the same time he’s still terrified of losing you

when his worries start to consume him again, he can’t stop obsessively worrying over the possibility that you’ll find someone better than him, that you deserve someone better than him

oikawa can sometimes hide his insecurities by acting cocky, but you’ve gotten good at reading him so you can easily tell when he’s feeling insecure or unsure of himself

so when it springs up that you’ve been invited to your cousin’s wedding along with a plus one, he’s more than happy to accompany you as he loves fancy events like weddings

you make the preparations together, he helps you pick out a gift for the couple while you go shopping for a new dress to wear

overall, you’re both excited to make the journey back to your hometown to watch your cousin make his marriage official, you both know the ceremony will probably be amazing, as well as the festivities after

when you get there, you’re both immediately swarmed by relatives, exclaiming how excited they are to meet your longtime boyfriend and how happy they are to see everyone together

as the ceremony starts, you’re both on the edges of your seats waiting as you see the bride delicately step past you down the aisle, waiting to secure her vows with your cousin

the formalities went amazing, as all of your relatives sat in tears as the couple at the podium exchanged beautiful vows and the rings were slipped on each others’ fingers

after, everyone moved to the building next door as the wedding was help at a chapel at the edge of a forest, with the after party being a building next to it, walls made of glass so the guests could view the beautiful scenery outside

tooru is more than willing to show off his dancing skills at the beginning, and dinner goes well before your relatives and family get together to do group dances and disperse into separate conversations afterwards

as the lights get dimmer and the atmosphere of the party start to settle, tooru sits at your table as he watches you chatter away with your relatives.

he watches as you speak with such ease, never failing to coax a laugh out of even your stoniest aunts, he can’t help but think to himself how beautiful you are, and how incredibly lucky he is to have you

another man, he recognizes as the best man strolls up to you, striking up a conversation with you.

tooru knows it’s probably nothing, just a conversation, and he also knows you would never do anything to hurt him, so he’s content just watching you talk with someone else.

he watches the scene unfold like a movie, with him as a part of the background, just watching, waiting.

before, tooru would have been filled with a familiar uneasy feeling right about now, his stomach twisting uncomfortably in his body, mind filled with thoughts he wishes weren’t there.

he could only have hoped he was good enough for you.

thinking back through all the years with you, the memories, he remembers all the times you saved him from himself, the world, anything that had ever hurt him.

it was back in high school, the first day of oikawa tooru’s first year of high school, he walked around with his head held high to keep anyone from seeing how low he felt, cocky smirk to hide just how unsure he really was of himself.

it wasn’t love at first, he didn’t particularly remember the first time he saw you, but step by step as you got closer to him he realized that you had one thing his fangirls could never give him, stability, comfort, and home.

he found home in you every time it hurt too much.

the feeling that could only possibly have imprinted itself into oikawa’s conscience was the feeling of being seen for who he truly was, a feeling that he had almost never felt before.

and as you saw him, he saw you the same way in that you could always depend on each other, for every painful moment, every failure, every insecurity.

it was then that he knew he really was in love with you.

even as he cried with his face in your lap in his third year you were still there, running your fingers through his hair and reminding him that he was enough and that you couldn’t be more proud of him.

and as he packed his bags to fly halfway across the world, he watched you cry as he couldn’t believe how much he meant to you.

the final weeks you had leading up to your graduation, you spent as much time with each other as possible, desperately trying to keep hold of the fleeting moments passing between you.

as you stood together in the tokyo national airport looking out at the window over the scenery of the country he had once called home, clutching a letter for him containing everything you had ever felt for him and wanted him to know before he left.

he looked at you with tears in his eyes, like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on, saying goodbye for the last time.

the years you were apart as you finished university while he was overseas felt like a time of awakening, so much had changed in what felt like moments, both without what mattered most.

and he knew while he was gone there were many more people who could’ve found you like he did, and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.

the trust he had in you was all he needed to keep going, that when you came to meet him you would still love him the way you always did.

when you finally, came, and all was said and done, he felt like he never wanted to let go of you as he had you in his arms again, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to have the love of his life so close to him.

sometimes he still wonders why chose him, but it’s enough for him to remember that you did, and that you’ll never let go of him.

the song in the reception hall changes, and tooru snaps out of the flashback that had taken over him for who knows how long.

you walk over to him and you look even more beautiful than he remembered, saying, “tooru! come over here and dance with me!”

he smiles and takes your hand, fingers delicately brushing the diamond on your finger he had carefully picked out all that time ago, that you had both cried tears of joy over when he stood on the top of the mountain to make things forever, thinking he was the happiest man alive.

you were always with him, from when he was an insecure teenager to the words san juan reading on his back.

he can’t even fathom how much it means to him as he holds you close to him, one hand on your shoulders and the other on your middle, round and full with his baby, how he’ll never get tired of love like this.

he kisses your forehead and says, “anytime you want baby”.

kuroo, TETSURO

despite his sarcastic and confident manner as he had grown up, kuroo was shy as a small child

he had a hard time making friends in elementary school at first, but that didn’t stop him from meeting people he would care about for the rest of his life, that he would cherish forever

on his first day of kindergarten, he only knew kenma who was also shy and mostly kept to himself during the day

but there was one other person who was there for him, the little girl who stood next to him when no one would, who asked him what his name was and held his hand on the playground

and so you and kuroo tetsuro became best friends, along with kenma, holding a bond that wouldn’t be separated even when you graduated

it felt like time had gone by in a blur, like the memories slipped through his fingers like water, and now you were all fully grown adults with jobs, with lives, with purposes

and now, it was the tokyo 2021 olympics and kuroo tetsuro was getting ready to watch the competitions with his associates and friends, ready to watch his old friends and acquaintances on japan’s national team

he felt like he could get lost in an ocean of people, but he spots you in the crowd immediately, he could spot your face anytime, anywhere

and so he meets you as you take your places, ready to watch the game begin

as he sees his old friends on the court together, he can’t help but to start remembering his high school days, when you were still young

it doesn’t help either that kuroo becomes painfully aware again of the way that he had been pining for you for all those years, even being one of the smartest people in his grade he still felt like the biggest idiot for just standing back and watching you grow, away from him

sometimes he wishes he could have turned back time, just to go back and tell you how he really felt earlier

but he let the years pass by, watching you drift slowly apart as he harbored his own feeling in order to avoid being rejected

now that you’re both graduated adults with careers and life paths, kuroo’s feelings are still very much present and if anything, he wants to try just one more time to prove he still cares

so he sits next to you, looking over at your gentle face as he takes in your features once again, watching your lips move slightly as you breathe in and out, and he remembers there was once nothing he would do in the world to give up being with you, wishing he had said something sooner

kuroo glances up as he starts to think back on all the times he could have told you how he really felt, all the times he screwed up worse than he could even imagine.

it was your first boyfriend having graduated high school, some douchebag kuroo couldn’t even be bothered to learn the name of.

but what he felt could never be forgotten, as he watched you walk away with another man’s arm around your lower back, pulling you close in a way that he had always dreamed of doing to you but couldn’t.

he was bitter, cold, in a way that he shouldn’t ever have been.

it’s your own dumbass fault, he thought, but that didn’t make him any less hurt or angry at what he had let happen. were you even happy? did someone else other than him make you happy?

he let himself grow apart from you ever so slightly, you saw him just as often and still cared for him just as much, but you could tell there was something he was keeping from you that even he couldn’t admit to himself.

kuroo thought it was over when you said yes to someone else, but here he was holding you in his arms as you cried with a bruised face and shattered heart.

all he could think about was how this would never happened if you picked him, but he was so pathetic he couldn’t even make it happen past his imagination, but no matter how angry or upset he was you still came first.

and he kept that promise as you got older, all he would do was care for you silently as he witnessed your life through the glass that separated you, that he could break but wasn’t strong enough to, no matter how much it hurt.

“are you coming tetsu- chan?”

it was the summer before first grade, he was hiding under the overhang of a bus stop with his hood over his small face, quivering on the ground in a crouched position.

kuroo’s seven year old self looked up at your small face, a hand outstretched as you held your way too big umbrella over your head, waiting for him to say something in return.

he had always hated thunderstorms, he hated the way it felt like the sound and violence swallowed him up, the same way it felt when his parents yelled at each other as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching from a distance.

he looked around at the dark gray skies engulfing him, the small threads of lightning painting the skies like blood vessels, wishing it would all go away.

but you still stood there as the rain poured down in your rain coat and small red boots as you waited for him to come out.

he reluctantly started to crawl out slowly, as you inched closer to where he was previously hunched, waiting for him to reach you.

as you stood just past the overhang, he stuck his hand out timidly and you wrapped your fingers around it, giving his hand a small squeeze before you started to walk towards your house together.

he shivered the whole way there, and every time you heard thunder crack in the distance he held your hand a little bit tighter.

when you got home your mother freaked out and called his family so they weren’t worried about him, and then got out warm towels and told the both of you to go take a bath so you wouldn’t catch a cold.

after you were both warm and dry and wrapped up in soft pajamas, which he had borrowed, kuroo felt oddly at home, like he never wanted to leave the safe place he had with you.

even as you had set up a futon for him on the floor, after about 30 minutes of being terrified of the sounds rattling your house he asked to get closer, and you shifted as he crawled into bed with you.

when you woke up in the morning he was fast asleep with your favorite stuffed animal clutched in his arms, a soft expression on his face, and you couldn’t help but think how peaceful he looked.

the truth is, as you made friends with the small boy in your kindergarten class you had already told stories with your dolls and toys saying you were going to marry him one day.

at 13 you had wondered why he never talked about liking any other girls, you had worried he wasn’t interested in anyone at all.

and at 19 you had tried to move on but it was just too hard.

every time you had fallen you were always there for each other, through all the scraped knees, thunderstorms, and broken hearts.

you only wished you could tell each other what your relationship really meant, what you wanted it to be.

and as kuroo sits in the stands of his friends’ volleyball game, he wonders the same thing that you do.

“y/n- chan, will you be my girlfriend?”

sawamura, DAICHI

being in the same class as daichi in your first year of high school had been interesting, he was rather ordinary looking but you couldn’t help but notice how hard working and kind he was, his energy drew others close to him and you could see why he was admired by many

you didn’t pay much attention to it as you were a bit shy about talking to new people and you didn’t want him to think you were trying to hard, so you kept your distance until you were paired together for a project

you were quiet at first as you sat next to him at your desk since he was a bit intimidating, but as soon as he started talking you felt yourself ease up around him, something about the way he spoke was comforting and it felt like you were at home with him even as you sat inside school

you had started to come up with a plan for your project, and you basfully said, “i’m not that good at english, so i hope it won’t be hard for you to deal with me or anything”, not thinking too much about it

“don’t say that, i’m sure you’re great and you should have more confidence in yourself, it will be better for you”, you hear him say firmly but gently from next to you at the desk

your cheeks flush with warmth and you look down, not sure what to say to him next, but he starts talking about your project plans so you turned around to pay attention to what he was saying

things went well with your assignment and you both received a good grade from your teacher, the school day was about to end as it was your last class and you were about to walk through the door when you felt a hand grasp yours and you turned around to face him

“u-uhm, i really had a nice time getting to know you while we were working together and i was wondering if you maybe wanted to be friends”

it was the first time you had ever seen him look flustered or anything of the sort, but you were happy to oblige since you had had just a nice time getting to know him as well

you smiled softly and walked away, feeling excited at the possibility of getting closer to sawamura daichi as he had intrigued you so much in the couple of weeks that you had known him

and so years later after that time you had first met, you were still around each other, he was one of the best things that had ever happened to you

it was a reunion between his old high school volleyball team, you had known how close they were as you were with him during his final year when karasuno had gone to nationals, and how much his old teammates meant to him and the relationship they had

and so you both made your way over to the tanaka residence with a dish you had cooked in your hands, both excited to see your old friends again and witness the ways they had all grown up and changed

as soon as you walked in the door, all the memories you had made in high school came flooding back at the sight of your friends’ faces, although it was strange seeing how much older they looked.

daichi wonders if he looks that old to them too, sometimes he forgets how much time has passed since they graduated.

it felt like it had been only a moment since he had stood in karasuno high school’s gym barking at hinata and kageyama to get themselves together, with sugawara and tanaka laughing in the background and asahi watching with a fearful expression.

and now they were all grown adults, with lives and jobs and homes, some with lovers and some with dreams that came to life.

he couldn’t be more proud of who they all became, the boys he once knew to be scrawny and mischievous would now be standing on the world’s stage and others who had followed their passions found love in what they did.

still, sometimes daichi still can’t help but wonder if you wanted more, when he saw his old teammates and acquaintances from other schools play on national teams and be watched by thousands around the world.

he wonders if you’re still satisfied with just him.

daichi knows he’s not the most flashy guy out there, but you chose him out of everyone else, right?

he remembers all of those times in high school and when you had graduated that people wondered why why you were with him, couldn’t you have found someone a little more interesting, someone special?

daichi isn’t the type to let his emotions get the better of him, but it stung.

it stung bad.

and yet, he knew he couldn’t lose himself just because of some insecurities, things that didn’t really mean anything, but still wormed their way into his head like maggots growing in a corpse.

sometimes he thinks about the boyfriends you had before him, how he wasn’t anything like them, he was unsure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he was the odd one out.

all his life he had felt painfully....average.

he wondered why people would forget his name just after talking to him, or why they would mistake him for other people, was he really that forgettable.

it felt sometimes like he was just another face in the crowd, sometimes he wondered if that was the way you saw him at first too.

what daichi didn’t know is how you had always seen him, someone reliable, special, valuable like no one else had been to you.

that he had always stuck out to you, he didn’t seem like anyone else in the sense that he always stepped up and did what needed to be done, you hadn’t seen a heart like his in anyone else your entire life.

he didn’t realize how in every class you had together, he was the one that you stared at, that you saw as beacon of hope out of everything you had faced in your life up until then.

daichi’s friends and family had always looked up to him, he didn’t always realize it but they saw him as a hero to everyone he helped, whether he did it intentionally or not.

through you, daichi was able to see himself the way that everyone else saw him.

when you said yes when he had asked you to marry him, it was cliche but he could’ve sworn he really was the luckiest man alive.

but the truth was he wasn’t lucky, he was more worthy than anyone else could be, the person who stayed by your side when no one else would and who made it seem like you were capable of anything.

you were living proof of just how special daichi sawamura was.

and on your wedding day, tears streamed down both of your faces as you got ready to read your vows to each other, because neither of you could fathom how much you meant to each other.

he couldn’t help but think how beautiful you looked standing in front of him , how he never wanted to let you go because you were worth more to him than anything else in his life.

in your vow, you told him just how much he meant to you, and how you were so incredibly lucky to have him, and he couldn’t help but let the tears slide down his cheeks because he loved you so damn much.

and as you sat on your living room couch with a pregnancy test in your hands he cried again because you made him happier than he could ever have wished to be.

it hurt him more than anything to see you in so much pain as you delivered your baby, but the amount of joy you’d bring into the world was more than worth it.

as you held your baby girl in your arms for the first time, he realized all he had ever needed in his life was right here, he wouldn’t have to search ever again.

it felt like she was growing bigger and bigger every day just in front of his eyes.

he knew one day she’d leave and grow up and have to let go, but for now she was still his and yours together.

and knew he was more special than anyone else in the world.

“honey, let’s go watch everyone in the living room, okay?”

you smiled, because the world had given you more than you could ever ask for, surrounded with beautiful people every day and given experiences you wouldn’t trade for the world.

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adhdeancas · 3 years

Note

wait so fellow adhder I'm I think that actually all of the TFW are actually ND. Cas has autism, dean has adhd, and hear me out, Sam has ocd. the intrusive thoughts? obsessive behavior? eating and acting clean literally to a point where it is inconvenient for everyone involved? I think he is obsessing over being clean and fresh (compared to demon blood and souless Sam, sleazy and nasty Sam) also I have a few reasons for thinking dean us adhd but y do u think so sorry I'm rambling

let’i’ve been waiting all my life for you to come into my inbox and talk to me about this

of COURSE TFW are ND!!! of course!! and yes, yes, we all know Cas has autism I love my autistic angel and i love the hc that Sam has ocd because it does fit really well!

(sectioned all of this out because it’s better for adhders to read, you get it)

his ocd directly bleeds into his poor self-esteem like you said with the demon blood! he feels the need to be pure and even though he canonically knows that these things (like eating clean, running, etc) can’t help his problem, he still tries because he kind of... has to.

also OCD is often connected to a need for control, and the physical state of sam’s body is the one thing he has control over (which is also where we get into eating disorder territory). Sam has had so little control over his life, especially growing up, and for most his childhood, he didn’t even control what he ate (with Dean making/buying his meals). SO once he gets out of that environment, he hyperfixates on this new freedom!

we can also go to the hand pressing with this. a literal compulsion that even after the effect of the pain wears off once the hand heals, he still does it as a grounding method. nonsensical compulsion to calm anxiety? yes OCD

can also be linked to childhood trauma but what ND can’t be amirite

emotional regulation once again - remember Angry Boy King Sammy? So angry he doesn’t know what to do and can’t control it and feels like he’s gonna explode with the rage?

intrusive (sometimes violent) thoughts are a huge marker for OCD and Sam’s obviously sometimes come from Unnatural means but they are also a part of him and kind of always have been

religious themes are also huge in OCD which Fits and makes me EMOTIONAL Sam I’m so sorry he spent his whole childhood feeling unclean and unholy and Fixated on that to the point of praying to a God his family didn’t believe in just so he could be Clean fuck

also i think it’s really interesting and cool that of the two brothers, Sam shows the most obvious signs of OCD even though he is canonically the messier brother and the brother not worried about IRL germs (i know the writers didn’t try to do this but i don’t care they didn’t play into the OCD means i must germex! trope)

AND ADHD DEAN!!!

let’s first look at the obvious: Dean is highly skilled in combat, even though he hates physical exercise. Why? ADHD brain tied up with anxiety is hardwired into flight or fight, not sit and focus on one thing. it’s constantly picking up on threats and peripheral vision and all that shit

he also has a spotty history with books! like i’ve said before, not shit writing, this is Dean’s ADHD. Dean as a kid read some high-brow books and he still does occasionally but he doesn’t nearly as much as an adult because it became much harder!! and because he just couldn’t devote that much attention, even as a kid, to things that he wasn’t really interested in! This is why he hates research

he’s known far and wide for his impulsiveness, his knee jerk decisions. it’s part of what makes him a good hunter and part of what makes him human disorder incarnate - It’s ADHD

Low frustration tolerance and rejection-sensitive dysphoria! Dean has a really hard time regulating his emotions and especially anger - especially especially especially when he feels like he’s being rejected or abandoned. it’s literally his worst fear

^^^^ rejection-sensitive dysphoria also plays into his low self-esteem (god poor kid to have RSD in an environment growing up where Everyone Was Constantly Busting Each Other’s Balls and couldn’t be emotionally available to also tell you they actually love you), high self standards, and social anxiety (he’s a bullshitter, his chameleon charm is also a symptom of his social anxiety and RSD)

also Dean has lots of sleep problems both ways and complicated relationships with motivation and inner restlessness versus a yearning for stability

comfort items / food!! now i can’t find the research on this so forgive me because i know i’ve read it somewhere that ADHDers tend to gravitate toward familiar things or foods! (like Dean’s burgers and his car / motels that are all basically the same) it is a very ND thing in general as well

along that line, ADHDers tend to have sensory processing issues - it’s why Dean has an Outfit Recipe of the same types of clothes that he sticks to - also why he delights so much in sensory stuff like magic fingers and the Dead Guy Robe

(((jfc i thought of this point while writing out the last one and then forgot it and had to stare at the screen for a minute, now I’ve forgotten it again while writing this thank you adhd))) AH YES! auditory processing! Remember how we make fun of Dean for his lame comebacks? Remember how we make fun of him for his buffer speed in The Scene? baby that’s because it takes him five extra seconds to translate those words let alone RESPOND

not to mention people with ADHD often have much higher rates of anxiety/depression (duh) and substance abuse (yes)

lmao in researching this the article I was looking at says that lead exposure as a child can lead to ADHD and jfc you KNOW those shitty motels had Exclusively Lead Paint smh

BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITES of course has to be that Dean gets along so well with autistic Cas!! as an adhd dude with an autistic best friend, WE DIG! adhd and autism go so well together because we can get each other in ways that others just Can’t. adhd and autism have a lot of overlap/similarities in brain function and shit.

tend to eschew social conventions and be much more straightforward/want that in others

they can both have the tendency to fidget and depending on upbringing mask that for some people - which also leads to being social chameleons

they both have comfort items / foods that NT find really strange or childish in my experience

sensory disorders!!! cas with his ONE OUTFIT and Dean with his different colored ONE OUTFIT

Anyway i’m in love with this and i have so many thoughts but here are a few of them thank you very much for this ask i love that you came to me

#ask #willowwisk #adhd dean #dean has adhd #autistic cas #cas has autism #ocd sam #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #neurodiversity #tw: abuse #tw: eating disorders

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saturatedboy · 3 years

Note

Could I please request a one shot of Donna crushing hard on a fem SO who’s terrified of her bc she’s a lord and has all these scary rumors about her but Donna is determined to win her heart even though the poor girl is as a skittish and meek as a tiny rabbit in the wild

Donna Beneviento x F!Reader

This ended up being longer than I anticipated but I do hope you enjoy!

Words: 3.9k

House Beneviento. The name had always sent shivers down your spine when you heard the other adults talk about it. You were just a female young adult with a liking towards flowers that would grow and intoxicated you with their scent. The stereotypical feminine liking towards flowers had most certainty made you the eye-candy for all the boys but you never seen yourself liking any of them back. All your life you had lived in the Village of the Shadows, you had never caught any feelings for the opposite sex. It was a strange to the elder women, they used to try pair you up with a match but every time you had refused their offering of a male towards you. Sometimes you felt as though you had put your family to shame but there was always another part of you telling you you had nothing to be ashamed off. This was you, you will choose who to love and if you never want to love or just couldn't, you were willing to accept that.

Recently, some things had been off with the Village and it's civilisation. You knew better then to question your religion on worshipping Mother Miranda as you had found comfort in knowing that someone out there was willing to protect you- too bad those days were gone and well, that was when you were just a child reaching the age of 7. Now, age 19, you've came to consider the down sides and the strange disappearance of some in the Village.

"(Y/n) my darling, would you please go collect some herbs?" Your mother had called from the kitchen as you had sat pondering in your own thoughts about the strange noises you would hear outside on a night. Having your head sat on your hand with an elbow on the table, you turned your head to face your mother who was stood with a soft smile and faint beads of sweat dripping down her forehead from cooking over the fire.

"Doesn't the elders go gather the herbs mother?" You questioned her as you move your head off your hand and decided to get up and ready for your journey after being requested by your mother. Your mother however was already caught up back in her work of cooking, completely ignoring you. You sighed with sagged shoulders and moved to collect your white cloak which had been tainted with mud at the bottom. "I'll see you soon mother," You spoke as you paced yourself to the front door and swung it open, being greeted by the swift coldness of the air.

Stepping onto the snow, you breathed in the crisp frost and stepped forward to begin your journey near the forest. Normally the elders would go collect the herbs but seemingly because you knew the area from flower picking, you are now the perfect fit to do it. Pulling your cloak closer to your body, you lifted the hood and let it sit on your head and shoulders and the rest of it draped down and covered you up to your ankles. Your breath had left faint clouds in front of you, making patterns as it swirled. This wasn't the best weather to be out in but you hoped your beige cotton dress would keep you warm enough.

As you walked through the village, you tended to ignore everyone. Their looks on you made you feel so left out. You were the only women of age who hadn't been together with a single boy of your age division. It frustrated you that such social thoughts that a women should be together with a man always made you mad. For the name of Mother Miranda, why couldn't some people in the village accept some don't want to love and some rather love someone the same gender. There was nothing wrong with choosing someone to love- but you supposed it was like this because the population of the village was going down and repopulating the village would be needed. You didn't like the idea but it was something you were taught at a young age. Slipping through tight areas, you made your way towards the the rocky bridge where you would cross to get to the forest where most of the herbs had grown.

You hoped you would find some near the front entrance.

Luck wasn't something you had, you had always been careful when you were younger making sure to never let any superstition past your mind. Any newly made shoes on the table? You would move them. Someone knocked over a mirror? You would of tried your best to catch it. You were always so careful when it came to things like that. It just made you more adorable in the eyes of those who wanted to have you for their own personal needs and you knew what personal needs they wanted. Reason why you realised you didn't have a lot of luck was the fact that the herbs you needed for medicine wasn't there. They had been cut clean and most likely would grow in another month. "Looks like I have to go further in" You whispered to yourself, taking down your hood and lifting the front of your dress up so you could climb over tree roots and not trip over a small pebble. What you didn't know when travelling further into the forest was a pair of watchful eyes...more than a pair of watchful eyes.

Humming a soft tune, you walked past the creepy dolls that were hung by the branches and got ready your small sheers to cut the herbs when you found them. Shivers crawled down your spine as you looked around, you hated those dolls with a passion- well they were cute some of them but mostly scary in your eyes. Everyone knew who's territory you were in.

Lady Beneviento's. The lady who apparently practically controlled the dolls and would use them to her command. She was a Lady. These were the rumours that had passed about your village of your time living there, which was your whole life. You knew every story about Beneviento, you couldn't help it. You had to know all about the stories to know who ruled over you and who you should worship, it wasn't a choice. Searching more, you were lucky enough to come across the correct herbs you needed, they were under a large tree with some small daisies growing underneath it from the sheltered floor by the leaves. Mentally cheering, you jogged towards the tree and leaned down, plucking at the stems of the herbs with your sheers. Whilst you was doing this, you didn't realise the lady dressed in black behind you behind a tree with a hand over a hyper-active doll clamping her mouth shut

She was intrigued at your sudden appearance. She had left her manor in search of a quiet day out seemingly the coldness would pick up very soon and she just needed that air to clear her mind. What she didn't expect was a new person to be walking in her territories and almost in the centre as well. Weirdly, she felt appreciated at the new accompany but she didn't like the fact you came and starting to pluck at her plants she didn't appreciate. She had to keep Angie quiet so she doesn't get spotted, maybe you would leave after you plucked them.

Back to yourself, you placed the freshly cut herbs into a pocket that was in your dress. Yes, you owned a practical dress with pockets which you were more than thankful for. Standing up and stretching, you turned around and smiled at your accomplishment. You felt so proud of yourself being able to come far into the Beneviento's area and being able to be brave enough to not back out. Raising your hand to your hair, you brushed out the knots and started to skip your way back home, humming once again.

Watchful eyes had followed you back to the bridge. She was caught off guard with your smile, how free you looked and how graceful you had skipped. Your humming had became a melody to her that hit all the right notes, it attracted a faint heat to rise to her cheeks. "Are you really acting like that?" The doll had whispered to her owner, staring at the black veil. The owner tilted her head to the side, showing that she was rather confused. "If you want her, quickly let us grab her and she can become out new playmate." The doll wiggled her way out of her owners arms as she had decided to go deep into thought.

Playmate? Playmate meant life to her...you being her playmate struck lightning to her heart and made her start to fidget with her fingers. A pretty being like you- no an enchanting- no...there was no words to describe how beautiful you were in her eyes. You were just so perfect, prettier than any goddess ever. You were fair like a doll, your skin looked so delicate to touch, your eyes glistened with a shine that glossed over your huge pupils. How was someone like you created? Someone that had melted any cold around her own heart. Who needs that boring playmate who was already half dead back at her mansion when she could have you.

Just as you were about to step foot on the bridge, a sudden movement of the wind picking up behind you had made you turn your head. At first you felt dizzy as your turned, your vision began to blur and was soon covered with black dots. The last thing you ever saw was the Lady dressed in black.

"she's waking up~!" A voice had rang in your head causing you to scrunch up your nose and scrunch your already shut eyes closed. The voice was high pitch, much louder than any young girl's voice. Using your hands to feel around you, you felt soft silk under your touch. Opening your eyes barely, you were greeted with a a grey tinted white above you as you were laid down. Closing your eyes to get rid of any excess blur, you reopened them and and breathed out heavily.

"What's going on..." Your voice came out hoarse, making it sound like you hadn't drank in days.

"Maybe we knocked her out a little hard?" Again the high pitched voice had said. You were curious, your mind always got the better of you but your shyness always lingered. You stayed put, staring up at the ceiling as you could hear movement being made around you along with the sound of something pattering against what you could only think of to be the floor. Maybe wood?

As you were about to speak up again and ask where you were, you jumped slightly at the touch of something small touching your ankle. Heaving your body up quickly, you was met with a doll dressed in a wedding gown holding onto your left ankle. You swallowed back a lump in your throat and raised a hand to your mouth, slightly biting down on it on hopes of not to scream. However that didn't go as plan as a small whimper came from your mouth. You quickly moved your body up on what you could see to be a bed and backed away right to the top of it trying to make distance between the doll and yourself. The doll laughed at your actions and you pulled your knees up to your chest. You wanted out. Where were you? Why are you here with this doll. You just wanted to go back home...

More noises came into the room. The small patters against the floor accompanied with larger ones had caused you to duck your head into your arms in fear. If that doll was here, then that must mean the Lady was here too. Those stories of the Manor of Beneviento came running back into your mind. You were here, your escape far gone. You were going to die here.

A sudden cough made you flinch further into your arms and the laugh of the doll had quietened down. "You may leave Angie." The new voice had spoke. The voice held such innocence yet it sounded like a grown women who had seen more than enough. More patter noises went away just as it first came. Thinking you were now safe, you raised your head up to only be met with the women dressed in black you saw from the forest. Tears had already sprung from your eyes and you shook your body, repeating the word 'no' out of fear. Not knowing what to do, Donna- the lady dressed in black- had sat at the end of the bed and just stared at you. You could feel sleep pull against your eye lids wanting you to sleep but knowing that the women you heard rumours about killing people did not sit good in your head, not to mention she was in the same exact room with you.

It took a while but you eventually calmed down, heavy breaths leaving your throat as you stared at her. You felt so small to be near someone who had loads of authority over you. You felt powerless, feeling like a small bunny next to her. "Its okay" She spoke, placing her hands onto her lap sitting up straight. You stayed quiet, going back to biting your lip feeling the taste of slight blood. "I have no intentions of hurting you."

You felt tears once again sting your eyes and your vision had blurred. You just wanted to go back home. Panicking at your crying, Donna had stood up and ran to your side scaring you at the same time. She pulled you into a close hug and rested your head on her chest. Slowly she petted your head, stroking you hair and running her fingers through it. Although the touch was strange to happen, you couldn't help but fall against her feeling weak under any power she had. You were nothing but a plaything to her, that's what you knew. However in her eyes you were the most perfect doll to ever walk and talk. Your tearing soon stopped, although you had been lost in thought for a while that you failed to notice your own hiccups.

Under the black veil, Donna had been smiling at the contact and the way you were responding. She felt your weight against her and felt her heart flutter. Such a precious person against her. She didn't know your name, your likes or anything about you but she wanted to with your permission. She wanted to know what colours you likes, if you liked dresses or if you'd prefer a suit. She wanted to dress you up in many clothing with your permission. For the first time ever, Donna had felt as though maybe the world was truly turning in her direction. You were so adorable even if you had tears in your eyes. She'd make them stop, oh she would do anything to make them stop but she knew she couldn't do anything. She knew she was part of the problem but she'd make sure you warm up to her. She would make sure you would understand her and maybe even became friends...maybe even more.

She trailed her hand from your hair to your cheek, you had fell asleep not to long ago from exhaustion and comfort from the Lady of the Manor. Donna sighed deeply, closing her eyes under her veil and pulling you even closer. Your soft snores had caused a gentle laugh to escape her lips. Surely you didn't have to go back where you came from? No, Donna wouldn't let you. She would keep you, hat's what she decided. Sure you were scared but she was more than happy to work on that with you. She would make sure you wouldn't be scared of her in a while, she couldn't have you if you were. Although Donna had felt an instant connection between the both of you, she was a very patient women when it came to wanting something she wanted. She'll just wait for you to love her, he wouldn't force you into anything. Oh the ideas that spilled into her mind about spoiling you with clothing and toys, there was so many.

Unconsciously, you turned to face her fully in your sleep. Your face was red from the tears that had spilled but you seemed calm when you were sleeping. Like a bunny...just like a bunny. Your nose would twitch every now and again as Donna watched you closely, holding you against her. Mentally Donna was squealing, you were so sweet! So different from others. Her old playmates would refuse to sleep and end up dying because she hadn't had any connection with tem but now, you had a serious connection with her and she wasn't going to let you go any time soon.

And she didn't. But you didn't mind. The day after you woke up, you were left to stay in that same room, with food and water on the side table, for a total of a week before you had decided it was time to walk about and brave your journey. You were worried about your family. Did they forget about you? Did they think you were dead? Why go back if it has been so long since you went back home.

When you left that small room, you were instantly surrounded by the small dolls. You were going to scream but the sound stopped in your throat when you saw them holding what seemed to be clothing towards you. A small note was written and placed onto of them. Crouching down, you gently lifted the clothing out of the doll's hands along with the note and out of curiosity, you gently patted the top of the doll's head. The doll jumped in excitement and jumped onto you, making you yelp in the process, and climbed to place itself on your shoulder. Calming down and gathering your breath, you walked back into your room and placed the clothing om the bed, grabbing the note to read first. The doll on your shoulder looked down at the note too.

Miss,

I am sure you are very confused on what's happening but I just couldn't leave you. You had me at first glance, you are a perfect being you know? So fair and graceful, my gosh your indeed a heart stealer. I won't force you into anything but I think it's more professional to be upfront about feelings than to hide them away. The clothing provided should hopefully be in your size maybe- but If not to do worry for I'll change them for you. I really hope you like them.

Your sincerely, Donna Beneviento

You placed the note down and looked towards the clothing. Gently picking them up, you saw it was a white dress with a silver embroidery pattern hand sowed into it. You felt your heart miss a beat. The Lady created something for you. Surely this was kindness right- no you wouldn't question it. It was sweet of her. You started to think that maybe you should apologise to her. After all you did cry and more than likely disturbed her day. Her actions for you showed she wasn't a killer at all like some of the rumour of the Village would say. They sounded made up. A killer wouldn't make clothes for their victims...and the word 'feelings' popped back into your mind. A lady has feelings for you...you. Your heat beat had started again and sped up a lot. This creation of her for you was so generous. Something you hadn't witness a lot growing up.

Gently placing the doll that was on your shoulder onto the bed, you quickly changed into the clothing provided and folded your dirty clothing up to place at the end of the bed you had been staying in. Picking the doll back up, you placed them on your shoulder and walked back to the door to open it and then step outside of it. The place was rather big, quiet a few hallways from what you could see. "Hey buddy," You spoke to the doll on your shoulder. "Where is the Lady, I would like to apologise for my actions." You watched as the doll looked around first before pointing down the hallway. You followed where the doll pointed and soon ended up in a room where a desk sat at one far corner and a green leather sofa had been placed facing what seemed to be a projection. Sat on the sofa was the Lady, it seemed she was caught up in her work as she was sewing a patch up on one of the doll's clothing.

You coughed to gain her attention.

She turned and for the first time, you saw her with her veil up. Her face said it all, she stood up quickly accidently throwing the doll in her hand on to the ground and reached the back of her head to pull her veil over. "Please," You pleaded quickly, raising your hand up in a 'stop' emotion. "It's okay, I don't mind ma'am." You said using your manners. She stopped reaching to pull her veil back on and faced to stare at you with a small smile dancing on her lips.

"Are you sure?" She asked, raising her own hand to cover what seemed to be scarring from something. You nodded and folded your hands in front of you. Slowly you bowed, showing respect and spoke softly.

"I apologise for earlier this week, I had no right to be so scared of you. My apologise for my disruption. I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble." As you were still bowing, a hand had grabbed your chin and a pair of lips had met your cheek as your head was risen. You felt you face heat up at the contact, it was such a soothing move and it made you longing for more of her touch.

"There isn't a need to apologise, for I would accept any mood you were in." She said as her voice was so close to your ear. You inhaled her scent, the smell of herbs and a smell of roses were diffused off her clothing. You felt her touch once again, this time she had grabbed your hands gently and held them, rubbing her thumbs on the back of your hands in a calming matter. "Would you like to join me and my friends for lunch?" She asked as she quickly moved her hand once again to brush a stray hair from your face. Without using your words you had nodded to her request, making her smile in delight.

"You're smile is very pretty ma'am." you spoke without thinking, not even realising what you had said. Donna was more than happy to hear you speak, your voice was far prettier than your humming but either way she felt the same feelings as she had before.

"What is the fair ladies name?" She asked you, placing her hands on your hips as you shyly looked down at them resting there.

"My name is (Y/n) Ma'am." You said with formality.

"Such a beautiful name," Donna whispered, going back to touch your hand and raise it to her lips to gently kiss it. You was taken back at the sudden action once again, however you did not refuse it.

Again you wanted her to to hold you, just like she wanted to have you.

#donna beneviento #residentevil #residentevil8 #resident evil donna #angie the doll #donna x reader #female reader #writing #lady beneviento #lady donna beneviento #angie beneviento #house beneviento

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insomniac-dot-ink · 3 years

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Is it wrong to lie to children?

A personal essay on reconciling with a shitty childhood and the question: is it wrong to lie to children?

It’s perplexing to have a shitty “unorthodox” childhood because initially I tried to throw out everything about It. Toss out the plumping and the rafters and the roofing, dispense of every single part of my upbringing I could get my hands on and not look back. Naturally, this approach didn’t work. It wasn’t even a real possibility. You’re still haunted by it, a ghost in the bones of a house, a foundation that remains long after the builders have left. That’s part of recovery too, to look at that ghost, to look at those bones, and keep saying: I see you, I see. I let you in. You sit with it and accept, accept, accept.

The really terrible part of this, the part where I don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater, is that you then have to raise the thing, deal with it. You have to do the hard work of parsing through the endless bits of self and placing them in “keep” piles and “discard” piles. I want to keep my mother’s kindness. I want to keep my father’s sense of humor. I want to discard the isolation. I want to discard the delusions.

But then there are these weird . . . “I don’t know” things. The things I am unsure if they helped me or hurt me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more and more of those “I don’t know” categories piling up. I’ve worked my way through most of the more obvious ones and now it’s all grey and mushy and as cloudy as a London winter. Recently, more than anything, I’ve been grappling with the fact my mother believed it was wrong to lie to children. She believed, in her flower-child way, that it was unethical in all forms.

I never believed in Santa Claus. I’m sorry to say I was a pretty obnoxious kid too because I would preach on the playground about how there was no Santa and there had never been any Santa. Which was a bit harsh, but in my defense I was under the impression these people were suffering from some sort of collective mass delusion. They were being lied to. And lying was wrong.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

I’ve known about sex since I was around 5 years old. I don’t remember why I asked, but it was something about where babies come from and so on. Most parents talk about a stork or love or some other abstract side-step. My mother described the anatomy to me and showed me a scientific diagram of the process. She told me that a sperm meets an egg and fertilizes it so the baby can grow. I learned most of this in scientific terms and was surprised when none of my middle school friends knew how a penis worked.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

When I was 9 or so our cat was eaten by a coyote. I asked my mom where he went and she said that he accidently got out the night before. She said they looked for him all morning, but it was too late. She didn’t use the word “gone” or “passed on” or “he’s in a better place now.”

She said he was dead. I said oh. She asked if I wanted to see him. I said yes. For the record, I am not actually sure if 9 year-olds should see corpses. That is neither here nor there. It was something that stuck with me though, the body of my cat with his tummy ripped out. I had never seen intestines before. His eyes were open.

But there was something cathartic about digging the grave. About helping pick up his little stiff body by the feet and placing him inside. There was something about piling on the red dirt as the sun set and letting the tears fall.

People on sitcoms hate talking about death. It’s understandable, it’s not funny, it makes for good dramatic irony when the kid asks “Where’s Socks?” and the parents go “Uuuuuh. He ran away.” I’ve never felt more alienated at those points. My cat died. He was eaten. I saw his body, and I buried it. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t want to be told he ran away-- that he had a choice in whether or not he left me.

Is it wrong to lie to children?

For a long time I thought the entirety of my childhood was wrong and bad, because I was miserable and broken at the end of it. I will assure you, my parents fucked up time and time again. But sometimes I have to stop and keep asking: Was this the wrong part? Was this the part where they fucked up? Was any part of this valuable? It’s a hard process to comb through an entire life and decide which bits are worth keeping, and if there are any silver linings.

So here is one: I am an honest person. I am a crooked person too, unsure of where to place my feet in social situations, picking my way through others normalcy. I do not readily share information, I am not forthcoming, and it’s a slow burn for me to open up about anything.

However, I notice time and time again that strangers will share personal things with me. I don’t mean for it to happen, but there’s just this pattern in my life. I once went on a car ride with a girl I barely know from my debate team. She described how she wanted to lose her virginity, she wanted it, but was scared God would be angry. That she’d be dirty afterwards. I told her that that was impossible, sex was just an act, it had no eyes, it had no priestly robes, or bearing on her soul. She cried. She said she hadn’t told me anyone this before.

I had a friend in high school who was struggling with an eating disorder, people had tried to get her to talk about it before, but I was the first person she admitted it to. In the hallway, sitting, just discussing nothing, and out it comes: I’m scared to eat sometimes. I was on a city bus and an old woman struck up a conversation with me. Over an hour or so, and she ended up telling me her fears for her own daughter going away to college. Her fear of growing old and passing on. Her problems with sleeping as she lay awake and dreaded it.

People have told me about their problems with substance abuse, their struggles with sexuality, and childhood trauma. People spill to me and I sit there thinking: Why? Sometimes I think it’s my gender or just how people are, but it always feels like I’m missing some part of the picture. Why do people open up to me, unprompted, all at once? Why me?

Is it wrong to lie to children?

Recently, I was reading a memoir set in 2001 where two young kids ask the narrator, their mother, about 9/11. They asked what happened to the people on television who were jumping off the building. Where did they go? The mother says this: They were caught. There are people-catchers that flew and saved them. Everyone is okay.

This story was meant to be heartfelt and lyrical, relatable. It ended like this: It is the job of mothers to offer gentle lies.

I had to stop reading because I was suddenly lost in a white-hot rage, unexpected, knee-jerk. How could she do that? I found myself frothing. They trusted her with answers and she lied. How could she? I knew it was irrational. It was silly even. This was a sweet story. It was meant to be heart-warming and framed in a way that suggested this is what all mothers do. This was what they needed to do.

I felt my own mother, pumping through my veins, furious that these elementary school students were being betrayed. I stopped myself of course, I knew it wasn’t reasonable. I wasn’t raised “correctly.” I had no legs to stand on.

But still, is it alright to lie to children?

I am once again faced with that unending dilemma: how to throw-out those parts of myself that don’t work and keep the ones that do. It’s difficult to say, because in some ways I agree with my mom. How can I not? But death is cruel. Sex is weird. Santa Claus is a beautiful lie.

And what’s wrong with lying? I still don’t know. What’s wrong with letting them never hurt? Never knowing the pain or gross parts of the world? What’s the harm in letting them make-believe?

But sometimes I think about all those people who have cried to me. All these unprompted confessions come with an unspoken plea: I hurt. I am afraid. I am so scared. It’s all so heavy, these painful truths.

And some part of me stands there, the part my mother raised and says: there is nothing in this life that is too shameful. There is nothing in this world that is unnatural. There is nothing in this life to lie about, even to children.

Is death too painful? Is sex too gross? Would you tell an adult that a man lives in the North Pole and watches them?

I asked my mom, years later, when I was less furious and able to talk with her again without screaming, about why she believed all this. She had told me about it since I was very young, but I never asked why. She shrugged. She said: children are people, aren’t they?

I still don’t know what to do with this.

Children are people, but they are not adults. They shouldn’t be exposed to “adult” things, right? But is that line so concrete? Is the word “adult” just a mask for the greater word, the one we really mean? We all agree: honesty is good. Lying hurts. But it’s alright to lie to kids, because in many ways they aren’t people yet, they aren’t people yet, they don’t count.

I am admittedly an argumentative person. I was on the debate team, mock trial, United Nations, I studied political science in college and fought with every single one of my professors I thought was wrong. And I stood in that playground, age 6, and told every single one of my classmates Santa wasn’t real and I wouldn’t stop. The truth was important. And my mother, no matter what, thought I disserved it.

I often felt tiny and powerless as a kid. Terrified and holding myself together by shoestrings. I often felt there would be nothing better in the world than to be grown up. Not for the money or the dating or the job, I just wanted to feel like the hurricane would end. That one day I could stand on solid ground again. My friend often says: I wish I could be a kid again, ya know? No responsibilities. Just bliss. I want to be a kid again.

I can’t relate. I never have. I’ve been busy weeding through the pipes and lighting and the carpentry of my upbringing and asking myself: is any of this worth keeping? Is any part of me built correctly? There are no right answers.

But still, I am haunted. I sit and ask myself in circles: is it alright to lie to children?

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#personal essay #nonfiction #creative nonfiction #writers on tumblr #story time

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