The more you learn about gender, the more you realize you can make up whatever the fuck you want. Oh, you like cat aesthetics? Mew/mewself or even just they/them or it/its or whatever. Oh, you are a cis woman but use it/ze/they pronouns? Awesome ! Trans guy but you use they/her pronouns? You are the coolest person alive. Trans man who wears skirts or a trans woman with a beard? Umm, yes pls !! You are actually legally allowed to commit crimes if you are that cool. Hyper fem and hyper masc nonbinary people???? Coolest people around. Basically, stop being an asshole. Gender isn't real and people can do whatever the fuck they want

anyways i love you people that are both gay and straight, in whatever way that presents. being nonbinary often can mean a complicated relationship to sexuality and how one perceives it within the societal restrictions of homo and heterosexual, and i think bridging those definitions and having "contradictory" labels like lesboy or whatever is really cool. i support and stan he/him lesbians or butch lesbians or she/her gay men or femme gays or she/he pronoun users and whatever else, be it cis or trans or both. if you feel like youre both cis and trans that also rocks. dont let people force you back into a binary within the queer community, stay strong!

ever notice how the people who will be like "eww linux haha" are just bullying a group of mostly autistic people

but it's okay because they're stereotypically men and disabled men get no rights i guess

like yes cis male linux-fans can be annoying (often in an autism way btw) but as someone who has spent years among them they are on average less sexist than your average man. also a lot of us linux users are genderqueer poople. the trans women in STEM you've heard about? most of them are linux users as well, if they don't use unix or more obscure systems.

the techbros you hate? they don't use linux, they use windows and mac. linux is overwhelmingly non-commercial, and techbros are hyper-neoliberal. most of linux is FOSS (free & open source software)

linux comes from the same ideological corner as firefox. if you think firefox is great but think linux is nothing more than a funny joke you need to look in the fucking mirror. and at your own computer because if you use windows you'll have a lot of anti-features that you take for granted. if you made the switch to linux it would be like exhaling the breath you didn't know you were holding for years. not saying that you have to, just, most people don't even consider making their own lives easier. you know?

why do you identify with "lesbian" if you say you're a man. A man can't be a lesbian, i don't understand it.

The whole lesbian concept excludes men bc it has nothing to do with men. Lesbian is women loving women, and if you identify as a man, i don't understand how you can identify w the lesbian community as well.

like this isba genuine question, I'd like to listen to your explanation bc im genuinely confused!

trans men, and any trans person really, cannot exist on the same binary cisgender people exist on. the binary was not made with trans people in mind, to be trans and to change your sex (which isnt limited to bottom surgery btw), would be inherently nonbinary, simply because the binary does not accommodate for trans people

beyond that, trans men dont have the same rights privileges and power that a cis man would have. meaning that while a trans man IS a man, he is not a cis man, and thus cannot experience male privilege, or the systemic power that comes with being a cis man

so we can conclude from that two things. one, trans people are inherently nonbinary. while not every trans person identified as nonbinary, the act of transitioning, socially and medically, is an inherently nonbinary act. i personally choose to identify as nonbinary to deal with the distress of people forcing me into the cis man category when i am fundementally different from them. now that we have concluded that the act of transitioning is nonbinary, let me address that: trans men have always been included in lesbianism. the communities are not seperate. the historical definition of lesbian has included gender diverse people as well as women, and trans men are still gender diverse

beyond that; a trans man identifying as a lesbian is not the same as a cis man identifying as a lesbian. the ideas that trans men are men and that trans men are NOT cis men can both be true. trans men who are attracted to women have more societally in common with lesbians (especially genderqueer lesbians) than cishet men. yes, trans men identify as straight all the time. however, if a trans man wants to identify as a lesbian, who are we to deny him? he isnt a cis man, hes not a threat to lesbianism or to the queer community.

faq:

"wouldnt identifying as a lesbian and a trans man be invalidating?"

a: different trans men have different opinions for themselves and their gender. some trans men choose to identify as straight/heterosexual, some trans men choose to identify as lesbians. it just depends on the person, however, if a trans man truly felt invalidated by the lesbian label, he just wouldn't use it. you dont get to assign rules on how a trans man chooses to identify, and you don't know him better than he knows himself

"what IS a lesbian then?"

a: the historical defintion of a lesbian is any gender diverse individual who likes women and/or gender diverse people. however, every lesbian can tell you something different. i know lesbians who only date binary women. i know lesbians who are exclusively t4t. i know lesbians who are femme4butch and date trans men who are butches. someones personal definition of their own lesbianism doesnt invalidate yours, and vice versa

"whats next, a CIS man identifying as a lesbian to cause trouble?"

a: and what if the world was made of pudding? trans men are not cis men, and to believe such is wishful thinking at best, and ultimately distressing to trans people. beyond that, i raise a counterargument of, what if we let trans people use the bathroom of their preferred gender? what would happen if a cis person used the opposite genders bathroom to cause trouble? the fact of the matter is, punishing trans people who are trying to live for the hypothetical cis person doing something wrong is transphobic and also stupid

"evan, i dont WANT to date a male lesbian/lesbian on t! what does this mean for my lesbianism?"

a: absolutely nothing! date who you want! you actually dont have to be attracted to every single person who is a lesbian! i know im not! youre allowed your preferences. i do know for a fact that some lesbians, especially under the trans/genderqueer umbrella are really into trans male lesbians and lesbians on t, but that does NOT mean that you have to be! once again, nobody elses personal definition of lesbianism can invalidate YOUR personal definition of lesbianism. im ALL ABOUT doing what you want!

Giving LEGOS a gender and sexuality because I can :)

Lloyd: Transman, aromatic asexual (he/they)

Kai: Bigender, queer (he/she)

Zane: Agender, demi-romantic pan asexual (any pronouns except for it/its)

Cole: non-binary, greyromantic, gay, demi-sexual (he/they/she)

Jay: Genderfluid, pan, asexual (she/they/zap, occasionally uses he/him)

Nya: Cis woman, bisexual (she/her)

Pixal: unlabeled, aroflux, neptunic (he/pup)

Skylor: Transfem, lesbian (she/her)

Vania: pangender, queer (fae/she/xey)

Morro: non-binary, questioning (they/he)

Echo: demi-gender, lesbian (they/it)

Harumi: transfem, lesbian (it/she)

Akita: wolfgender, aromatic (woof/they)

Sora: transfem, bisexual (they/meow/she)

Arin: non-binary, aromatic asexual (they/them)

Wyldfyre: love and gender are suggestions (any pronouns)

Euphrasa: demigirl, pansexual (they/she)

Geo: transmasc, uranic (he/him)

Mr. Frohicky (because why not?): non-binary, queer (he/they)

Wait I forgot-

Wu: cisgender, asexual (he/him, doesn't mind they/them pronouns)

Misako: cisgender, straight (she/her) (she's the biggest ally though)

Garmadon: genderqueer, gay (literally doesn't care what pronouns are used)

Vinny: transmasc, omni, aceflux (he/him)

Btw uranic means you like all genders except for women and woman-aligned non-binary people, and neptunic is the opposite of that :)

Hey friends!

Chasing Stars, by time_woods, was updated today, with 5/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Adventure Time AU, chasing stars au, this is like enemies to lovers but one sided enemies and lovers but they dont have a lable for it, neither of them like each other in the begining btw, Sīdus is joke flirter but then it becomes/ gen, this is prismos and scarabs therapy, they colab on the main fic, i put other cause neither of these mfs are cis, they both genderqueer in some way, some of that cosmic gore again, carma has knee problems and its totally not cause im projecting"

You can read it here:

Light! Camera! Action! by SL_22, was updated today, with 8/? Chapters released! It is Not Rated and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, with additional tags "Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deviates From Canon, Homophobia, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Humor, all people, overtime, Office, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers"

You can read it here:

Sowing The Seeds, by Mezzmer, was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, with additional tags "Hurt/Comfort, Character Growth, summaries are hard lol, journey to love yourself bro, Enemies to Friends, maybe more wink wonk, tags change over time, oh my god they were roomates, past grudges, Funny Times, angst here and there, light beta read"

You can read it here:

A new work, Time Room Shenanigans + More by DrakianDH, was published today, with 1/? Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with no additional tags :]

You can read it here:

NSFW works are below the cut :].

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning, by grylos, was updated today, with 9/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Rape/Non-Con, with additional tags "Genocide, Slavery, Sexual Slavery, Bombs, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad, Happy Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Backstory, Slow Burn, Child Abuse, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Corruption, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Grooming, Oviposition, Bugs & Insects, bug sex, Cannibalism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con"

You can read it here:

Tense, by a_pigoen, was updated today, with 2/3 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "human prismo, Out of Character, Smut, Cunnilingus, Coming Untouched, Alien Biology, Scarab's got a an alien cock, and an alien pussy, Prismo has a cock, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Bottom Scarab (Adventure Time), Top Prismo, Praise Kink, Subspace, Tags May Change, Begging, Stress Relief, Hand Jobs, Aftercare, Making Out"

A new work, Wrath of the Sea and Moon by othersin, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "god AU, prismo is a moon god, scarab is a sun god, someone got the snake angry, Protectiveness, if scarab was not prone he would have some thoughts about his husband being mad, killing gods, Romance, They are married, Don't mess with them, fuck around and find out"

You can read it here:

sorry i also dont want to come at you or anything, but i just wanted to add on as an intersex person to the whole using the phrase “biological female”. Because when you get down to it, you cant really define biological female.

Someone that had a uterus? And a vagina? Who has hormonal balances often assosiated with being afab? The ability to give birth/fertility? So then whats normal? What makes someone who is female, female? its a gradient, its messy. Someone who has the same intersex condition as me can call themselves a cis woman but i can call myself intersex. There is no binary anywhere when you get down to it. No norm of what makes a “biological female” female. Its just humans with different traits and no two people are the same. like when talking about hair growth, people talking about “biological females” are saying it to mean hair patterns on people with higher levels of e often associated with being afab. But “biological females” can have higher levels of T or higher sensetivity to it. (Changing hair patterns) Does that make them less of women? Are they still biologically females? Idk if that makes sense but intersexism as a spectrum, biological men and women on a spectrum. Some traits assosiated with one are found on the other. So just say the trait you mean. and yea it also probably rubs me the wrong way due to its use of valueng biological sex over gender which i know you arent doing but i feel a big part of the queer community to me and finding my place in it was discovering just how unnatural it was to label people as biological females or males. Abolishing binaries everywhere.

so yea no hate to you. Love ur blog btw

Oh yeah, I’m so sorry about the wording for it! I knew when writing it that it wasn’t a good or full explanation but (and here’s the excuses I’m so sorrry) it was the best way to drive the point home.

I think if I had used many other terms they (and others) would have focused on that and not the point being made.

I’m incredibly sorry if I offended you tho anon!

I get that there’s no “real way to tell” (genderqueer here), I was more listing biological female as it’s common for it to be thrown in their faces more. Especially by certain religions.

Thanks for the ask anon, I hope I cleared some stuff up on my part and apologise again! Hopefully no bad blood anywhere here!

my headcanons btw (more thoughts under the cut teehee)

Nathan: gay, cis; he's so closeted it is unreal. every time he's around women in the show he's apathetic, like he likes sex but does not feel anything for them - and then when he meets Abigail, he gets obsessed with her bc she rejects him & then he chooses Pickles over her (much to think about.) and then his arc in the movie is accepting that he only liked the idea of her? MUCH to think about. also I think after all that, he's actually given his gender some thought and came out of it like "yep, I'm a dude" (Pickles is very proud of him <3)

Skwisgaar: bisexual, agender; he def prefers feminine people but doesn't really give a shit <3 his whole "I'm not a man I'm a god" thing is very agender to me also, like he's fine being perceived as a man or whatever he just likes being both masculine and feminine

Toki: bisexual, nonbinary; classic he/they, his gender is def "boy not man". and he has autism for sure which affects the gender situation of course. also he just likes pretty people <3

Pickles: bisexual, transmasc; this is basically canon to me to the point where when I see people draw him with a dick I'm like "wow congrats on the bottom surgery king" hgkfdjf.. like I feel so strongly that he's been on T since he was a teenager.. usually the highest honor I can bestow upon a character is gay transmasc (because I am gay transmasc. I hope you understand) but he's giving sooo bisexual

Murderface: gay, genderqueer; he canonically has gay thoughts. many such cases. also he has something going on gender wise.. I don't know what pronouns he'd end up with but it/its is probably in there somewhere !

Charles (not pictured): unlabeled; I think he's only interested in men and nonbinary people & didn't click with any label he's tried out for that! he's not cis and I can't decide which flavor I like best of that. whatever it is, he's comfortable being perceived as a man (enjoys it in fact, his gender is Suit Guy) but there's more goin on than Just Man, y'know?

(This is the "centering" anon - btw, such a fantastic reply, I've been shaking since I saw it.) Slightly veering into real talk, do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? Instead of just someone who seeks to use my lapse in judgement as weakness to control me? I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from that experience of womanhood. Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition? Everything about what I want feels wrong, and it's ironically resonant to how I felt as a teen. Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way (instead of constantly feeling drawn to return to anonymous cam sites where I have the best orgasms of my life then panic that the wrong men will find me or expose me). Thanks for your time and for your skill with word-weaving! If you don't feel equipped to answer this, no worries, I know this is probably a Lot.

(Previously)

Okay, a sharp swerve into seriousness: this kind of advice is definitely beyond my personal experience as a cis man (albeit one with many non-cis friends). However, on general principles and based on my knowledge of kink, I think I can offer this:

...do you think it's realistic to hope for someone who sees all of me? ... Are there men out there wanting this mess of juxtaposition?

What you're asking is the wrong question. It's very tempting to add up all your faults and complexities and ask yourself "who's looking for this?" - but people don't fall in love with bundles of abstract attributes, and they also don't add up complexities until hitting some threshold and going "nah, this is too confusing, I'm out".

You find someone who likes you as a person - your sense of humor, your taste in books, the way you smile - and who you like in return, and then you try to make it work. Sometimes it doesn't, due to circumstances or communication problems or personality conflicts or any number of other things. But sometimes it does. And when someone cares about you as a person, they're willing to learn your nuances and contradictions, because they're part of someone who they could come to love.

And as to your situation specifically:

I'd like to be controlled but in a sexy way; even in my "I'm a woman" moments (additionally I'm definitely still genderqueer) I can't separate my feminism from my experience of womanhood.

I'm biased by my experience with disproportionately queer friend groups in a liberal city in the US - so YMMV a lot based on local demographics - but "AFAB genderqueer feminist sub" doesn't seem unusual to me in the slightest, or something that would be a barrier to finding partners! Also, in my experience, people into real-life kink are disproportionately liberal (and nerdy - if you're trying to locate people who are into BDSM without going to a munch, find a D&D group), so the feminism part really shouldn't be a problem.

Gender play specifically requires an understanding partner, but with mutual trust and a bit of explanation, I don't think it's all that taboo or hard to understand - not more than e.g. a feminist woman wanting to be treated like property in the bedroom.

Really tired of feeling this way and hoping for advice on how to engage in a healthy way

As with most things in life, the healthy approach involves spending less time on the internet. If you want a romantic partner, find hobby groups or other social venues. If you want to explore kink specifically, you can visit some munches (non-sexual regular meetups for people involved with kink) to dip your toe in. Pursue things you're interested in by forming personal connections with people who you can trust, and you'll probably find things a lot easier.

when genderqueer people talk about the way they are specifically targeted by hateful people. i received multiple messages from someone who "couldn't tell" what i was "trying to pass" as... (this was their own words, btw.) they referred to me as a man/woman, dehumanizing me in other words. they told me, in their own impolite way, to remove my "fat" chest... at the end of the day, i have a cisgender woman's body. i am a woman, as i do not reject womanhood from my identity. i have never been treated for any gender or sex alterations to my body, except for the few years i was on birth control to treat pcos. when people send me hate, it is really misogyny. it's hatred against women's autonomy and bodily rights. i speak about this on my blog, on the personal reality of being someone who doesn't fit in the mainstream view of gender related discussions. i am not a woman, and yet i am. i am not a man, and yet i accept my manhood all the same. it is something that is so plain and simple and easy for me to be, to exist only as myself and how i was made in this world. the hatred around my existence is not my own, is not in the hearts of those who acknowledge and love me truly, but some people would rather project their fears and insecurities onto my mere existence... which isn't right nor just. i don't say this or that person cannot be themselves, only that i can be my own self. i have a personal blog here to express my personal self! you could say i have a motto like: cis power to cis people. intersex power to intersex people. trans power to trans people. all power to the people... you understand?...

trans women don't talk about my experience. cis het women don't talk about my experience. cis men don't talk about my experience... yet i share relatable stories with each group of peoples.

masculinity and transmasculinity should not be viewed as a foreign, disconnected, and separate subject when we all have so much in common.

this is just my way of thinking aloud with all that has been happening around this site in march...

fun fact most, if not all of my ocs are queer as fuck.

olivia is aromantic and has been an ally for years before she realized it! she's also pretty gnc and likes to toy with her gender expressions while staying a cis girl

umaru is a trans man (manfred barred him from transition for years but he speedran all phases of it while studying in europe to be a prosecutor), also he's very much bisexual, see his painful crush on mvk that died in silence and his love for lana skye

hanma is bisexual and is so so so femme that despite her being a cis woman it circles back to being queer as fuck

sean is literally a nonbinary butch lesbian who lived the better half of their life as a trans man idk what else do I need to say here

basil never thought about it and he can be kind of queerphobic because he's not educated about the community but he's basically enemy-sexual (probably pan)

i have a side character I used in two cases called redhead, that's not his actual legal name, but she doesn't reveal her "real" name and introduces himself as just redhead, he's a he/she bigender and I don't even know or establish what her agab is because fuck that

if I start going through my aa ocs we'll be here all day so why don't we talk about my completely original characters

in project David like 3/4 out of the main 4 are genderqueer, Glenda is nonbinary and uses they/them (while being nearly fifty years old btw), Louis is a transmasc bigender who uses he/she and visibly appears as a man, not disclosing her "female" side to most people in fear of being seen only as a woman again, and Elis is a trans woman, well, not Exactly a woman but woman is the closest, a nonbinary transfem that uses she/her. and Dan is a bi cis dude (that can change though. my transfem friend sees Dan as an egg)

my collegeverse ocs literally consist of sapphics and an enby god, Loren, a pronoun fluid genderfluid who mostly uses she her and is butch in a fixing cars way, Mag, a lesbian that's been repressed for many many years and finally allows herself to change and let herself be who she is, gaining weight, getting with a girl and changing her gender expression, butch in a suit and tie way; Eve, a pan trans girl and Megumi, her bi girl best friend; and also Arc, an agender person (or is it a person) who uses it/its and may or may not be a deity

god I love queerness.

and yeah over the course of this post I only ever mentioned the queer identities of the characters but some of those characters are marginalized in other ways and that very much intersects, for example Elis is a black trans woman. I'm not adding it on to flaunt how progressive I am for having diverse characters, I'm simply like, aiming to acknowledge that white thin able-bodied queerness isn't the standard and people experience queerness differently based on that

Some extremely self indulgent queer HC for the original archives group under the cut. I go into way too much detail with them btw so be warned.

Martin: gay ftm transman, on HRT but no surgeries due to him on starting to physically transition after him mum went into age care. He/him only.

Sasha: trans woman, demi and bi. Been on HRT for a few years and has had no surgeries. She realised she was trans in her teens and swung incredibly hard into being feminine. Only just recently let herself be more comfortable with anything vaguely masculine (body hair, thick brows, upper lip fuzz, etc.) and is loving it. She/her only as well.

Tim: Just identifies as queer. He doesn't really know his sexuality outside of “he likes who he likes” and would define his gender as “whatever the fuck.” If he did put labels on it, he'd probably be pansexual and genderqueer, but he's very happy undefined. Also likes drag in his past time. He/him but she/her and they/them during drag or from certain close friends.

Jon: Bi ace obviously. I am, however, torn between afab and amab Jon. If he was ftm I think he would have transitioned very early on and is where he wants to be with their transition. Top surgery, HRT, and some other stuff.

On the other hand, I can more easily imagine amab Jon who assumes he's 100% cis during TMA with how he is written. He'd spend most of his life vaguely aware of trans people, but one day had a sort of 'Oh' moment perhaps when Tim was showing off his drag and went down a painful spiral of gender questioning. Coming out on the end of it realising they might not be very cis. Either way, he/they transmasc/non-binary Jon supremecy.

Cursed bonus:

Jonah Magnus: Gay homophobic man. I read one fanfiction that Jonah was trans in his original life and that has buried itself into my skull and will never leave me alone against my wishes. However, every body since his first has been cis male. Absolutely not an ally and has never done anything for any gay person except for himself. Probably one of those shitty people who thinks gnc queer people are ‘pushing it’ or something. Has called people slurs as insults.

skizz hcs?

[Ask Game]

I had to go digging through Milkpulse discord to remember some of these I'm 0(-(

Most cisn't character ever, he's like cis but to the left. Btw the only character we actually headcanon as kinda cis, the rest are vaugely genderqueer. He/It pronouns because angel <3 vwv

Pan and probably falls in love easily, also very poly.

Angel, though his patron god is currently undecided (mainly cus we haven't really fleshed out angels that much (we'll leave them for another time and post, not gonna explain angels here other than they're usually tied to certain gods)).

Already well known, but he has like zero (0) spacial awareness, so it tends to wack people with his tail and wings without meaning to, it does not help that it as really fucking big wings.

Holding the idea of Skizz having tattoos with our grubby little hands. He has one that's made to represent ZITS, kinda like Zed, Impulse, and Tango's jewelry. He has full sleeve with each having a section of flowers and gems that represent each of them.

This being said, it still has piercings, but being a feathering angel it doesn't have earrings and more has rings that clasp around his ears.

Forgot to mention it earlier, but tied to angels and wings. He can actually hide its wings using magic, when hidden they'll appear as a light blue, wing tattoo-like marking on its back

(Inspired by beloved @/casuallywritingandhyperfixating) Has a lot of scars due to angels scarring extremely easily.

He tends to keep little items from friends and keep them around his house. This goes especially for the Life Series where he'll keep items from the previous series/team with him. So he has the Red Army's flag, his Team BEST shield, and the tie from Team TIES just on or near him constantly.

I was originally gonna leave a joke here, but I remembered one. It actually chufs, but its so used to kind of hiding and masking as human that it's become very quiet and somewhat rare. It only really does it around it's partners, but mainly Impulse.

So I saw on Twitter the other day this proposed new design for the poly flag:

A bunch of people had opinions about this good and bad, and while I have my own thoughts on the design itself (the lack of symmetry is bothersome but overall it’s... fine), what really struck me is its use of color and just how many Pride flags use pink and blue, particularly as gender symbolism. Like, aside from the heart, this is just the bi flag rearranged- which technically pink is for same sex attraction and blue is for opposite sex, but really I think the average person generally interprets it as attraction to men, women, and purple (other)*. Same with the pan flag except “other” is yellow.  And the trans flag, obv, heavily relies on pink and blue with white as the “everything outside the binary” option. Demiboy is all about blue cause boy and demi girl is mostly pink cause girl. Genderfluid and bigender are both varying arrangements of pink and blue, hinting at the “bothness” of those identities. Even the lipstick lesbian flag is pink and red while the gay men’s flag is blue and green. 

The flags really only break away from the pink/blue hues when talking about things outside of gender or that reject it all together. Asexual, agender, and aromantic all avoid pink and blue while representing identities that define themselves as apathetic to gender. Genderqueer, intersex, and nonbinary are similarly without while existing outside the strict man/woman dichotomy. 

So that begs the question- why is it that we as a community that is so radical when it comes to sex, gender, presentation, and roles are so hung up on what is pretty basic gendered color symbolism? Maybe it’s just what everyone thought would be the most recognizable or was easiest to produce at the time, but we’re living in 2023. People are proposing new pride flags all the time. This whole post started with a new flag trying to replace an old one (that wasn’t pink and blue btw). So what is keeping us beholden to this pink/blue scheme? Why is it that I can watch dozens of TikTok’s saying things like “Gendered marketing is so silly! Pink used to be a boy color!” when we literally all agreed that the flag for gay women needed to be pink and gay men blue?

Am I overthinking this? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s my specialty. But I also think it is an odd thing that deserves thinking about. Particularly as some cis people in this community are turning a blind eye to what our trans and nonbinary siblings are facing politically. Gender is having a moment right now, for better or worse, and I think it’s worth while to examine our own preconceived notions and biases. As we try to break molds and destroy binaries, what old modes of thinking are we holding onto? What is literally baked into how we represent ourselves?

And, please, I am NOT saying that we need to get rid of all the pink/blue flags or that liking one is bad. I myself have a bunch of bi-flag merch and I’m not keen to dump it anytime soon. Great things and huge movements have thrived under these flags and I have no intention of minimizing that. But just like the curtains are more than just blue, our flags are more than just pretty colors. There’s meaning to be found everywhere, and there’s nothing wrong with sitting down to really look that meaning in the face sometimes. 

* I’m ready to be wrong about this, but it’s what tends to be the first impression I’ve heard from people who don’t already know.

polyamory is intriguing

but also confusing cuz i feel like its not talked about a lot and a lot of people don't understand it or know about it and things like that so I don't really have a good grasp on how others feel about it. like I've talked to not that many people about it but most of my irl friends that its come up in conversation with(like naturally (cuz I have like 2 queer friends that I have a lot of discourse with)) have been cis [het?] guys and most of them were confused/ repulsed, or even just like idk why u would want that. so it makes it hard to tell if other queer people (or even just people in general who have an actual good grasp of polyamory) feel similar to me.

for context, now that i know what a polyam relationship is and how it works/what it entails, it seems honestly... kind of nice? like idk if I want to be in one specifically but I definitely see the appeal... like its just more partners (btw im aware that's a super oversimplified explanation) i think the trouble for me is that ive never been in any romantic relationship b4 (cuz I'm lonely and not rlly that attractive as far as I'm concerned and don't put myself out there) so idk what i want a relationship to be like, like at all, and don't have any experience, and therefore i have no idea wheter i would want to be in a polyam relationship (or even other non-conventional kinds of relationships like qprs).

but its confusing cuz i feel liek i cant adress it with the same way of thinking as when I realized I was bi and genderqueer where it was like "oh shit cishet people don't think about x this much/at all" because now I'm aware that I'm super fucking queer.

but like i feel like even in the queer community there's not that much talk about polyamory in general but also more specifically ow people realized they were polyam or even how people feel about polyamory.

so i don't have anything to base my feelings on like I did with my bi-ness and genderqueerness.

can anyone relate?

How would Nobukatsu,Izou and Nagayoshi react to a questioning afab demigirl? Her gender presentation isnt super feminine just sweatshirt and sweatpants and she likes her body/sex and doesn't relate to they/them pronouns as she still Identifys partially with her binary assiged gender

I'm getting the feeling this isn't quite a hypothetical scenario anymore, but it's no problem lol

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No, there's no canonical/historical basis for him being trans, yes he's trans here anyway, and yes he'd absolutely be down to help sort anything out regarding pronouns/presentation/etc

Local manslayer respects peoples pronouns and gender even when killing them

As long as you're on the party and chill, then he's got more important shit to worry about, like murder! Especially murder of anyone who gives you shit about anything there.

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Anyway, I'm taking a guess this is a pretty personal ask, so I'll give my input too:

Gender is a fuck and as long as you find something that works for you, then hell yeah go for it. It took me a long ass time to figure out my own gender, and I still have no idea what I actually vibe with for sure, but it's a pretty personal journey for everyone and no one can tell ya who you are better than yourself.

Dunno what part of the whole questioning thing you're in at the moment, but it's also pretty important to note btw that like, gender? gender presentation? pronouns? bodily preferences? ALL of that is mix-and-match all day long. You can be a he/him girl, she/her boy, cis girl with a dick, she/her genderless void, super feminine trans dude, whatever you want, as long as it's comfy for ya. However you choose to exist and present yourself and roll as is entirely up to you in every which way you want.

Anyway, all this coming from a genderqueer probably she/he pronoun user who wants both cutesy crop tops and a flat chest, so like, whatever ya settle with in the end, you definitely got our support over here.

And, hey, if ya need any help getting things sorted out from an outside perspective, we're here for that, too. Like, hell, if you want any kind of name/pronoun/gender testing, that could totally be arranged even.

Best of luck to ya though, and I hope you find something that makes you happy!