#Child Loss
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Still not over Phil telling Sunny that Empanada got beaten to death and Ramon got continuously downed as a quick statement in a speedran lore recap. That’s her siblings, a toddler was told their sister died brutally as a side statement, like my poor baby, my princess, my little darling you did not deserve that.
#qsmp#Qsmp sunny#qsmp empanda#qsmp ramon#qsmp phil#child death#child loss#tw child death#tw child loss
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When I was in my twenties I sat down with a journal and wrote a letter to spirit about who I wanted to love through a list of physical, vocational, and personality attributes and characteristics, similar to little Sally in Practical Magic, though I had not yet seen the movie at the time. The universe delivered exactly what I asked for with terrifying accuracy. As the years pass by, that accuracy reveals itself to me more and more.
The first mistake I made was that I did not specify that I wanted the person I would come to love..to love me back. I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out had I written that down. The second mistake I made was that I referenced a fictional character and said I hoped he’d be “like” him. Naively, I did not specify that I wanted nothing to do with the horribly cruel attributes that archetype possessed and only sought the good. The cruelty inflicted on me broke me to my core, made me suicidal, cost me tens of thousands of dollars, humiliated me, silenced me, kept me hidden, caused me to endure the loss of a child, the loss of friends, the loss of two jobs, damaged my relationship with my daughter, and extinguished my spirit. What I manifested impacted not just myself, but the lives of every person that has ever loved me, some who simply just knew me, and even some who never crossed my path.
In another dimension, my higher self and a team of spiritual elders have orchestrated all of this for my higher good. They heard (or rather read) my call. Karmic justice is always being served. I know that despite my suffering, I have always been divinely protected. I learned how to speak and interpret the language and symbolism of spirit, to become a shape-shifter, to rebuild from nothing, to transmute my pain into prosperity, the meaning and feeling of unconditionally loving someone, how to conjure multi-dimensional beings, that we all have the spirit of the phoenix laying dormant within us and the power to awaken it whenever we choose, and perhaps most importantly, to be careful what I wish for.
#women writers#healing#spiritual awakening#love#conjure#practical magic#the craft#witchblr#witchcraft#witch community#witches of tumblr#holy spirit#multidimensional#metamorphosis#manifesting#manifestation#be careful what you wish for#female writers#writers on tumblr#child loss#energy#healingjourney#sad thoughts#heartbreak
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qcellbit just said "I really like bbh and foolish but I can't joke around with them today, I need to take this super serious, they don't now about my mission. I can't let anything go wrong or tell them about this, my son's life is in danger, I need to take this absolutely serious" I'm actually crying rn he's so stressed about losing richas :(
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violet. emily prentiss x reader
content — requested by @lucreziaq2001 . heavy warnings for child loss (stillbirth). please proceed with emotional caution. fem!bau!reader. grieving.
six months ago, you and emily lost your baby girl. the team are here for you on this day.
there is no earth-shattering comparison of pain that compares to losing a child. there isn’t an adjective or analogy that can describe the feeling to anyone who has not experienced that grief, and only a silent understanding between two that have. when you’d woken that morning, with emily already sitting next to you, she’d instantly had you in her arms, as though trying to shield you from this feeling. but such a shield could not exist in a world where you’d experienced such loss.
some point that night, your three year old son had climbed into bed with you, likely as a result of a nightmare. regardless of the reason, you were never more grateful for his presence. oscar was a quiet boy, but not still. never still.
“morning, baby.” you whispered, enveloping his tiny hand in your own. the beam he offered you sent shockwaves of love through the resolute cracks in your heart. the tight grip on your upper arm told you that emily was feeling the same way. she released her hold mindfully, and instead passed a hand gently over your stomach. sometimes you could feel a phantom pain there. not this morning though.
you moved slowly. everything was lulled into a half-pace, with emily’s gentle encouragement and oscar’s plea for pancakes serving to keep you moving. slowly, slowly, you mixed the batter, while emily warmed up the stove. occasionally, she’d squeeze your hand to remind you of her presence.
i wonder if violet would like pancakes. her brother certainly does.
usually, you had to push these type of thoughts to the back burner of your brain; you were likely to be incapacitated for the day if you let them dominate. but today, you permitted yourself the pondering. if there was a day to think about violet, it would be days like these.
a small budgie landed on your window sill, uncommon for houses in the city, and you had to think it was a sign. you saw them everywhere. you knew it was probably because you looked for them, but how could you not look for your baby in every aspect of the world?
“mumma?” oscar approached you while you were deep in thought, lightly startling you, though you welcomed his attention.
emily saw the tears on your waterline and intervened, scooping up her son and placing him on her hip as she said, “let’s give mumma a moment, yeah? we can go set the table.”
you smiled at her sadly, and she again held your hand as she passed you, before trailing away to let you have your thoughts. sometimes, they were a refuge, no matter how full of grief.
at that moment, your phone buzzed. it was hotch, which you were somewhat expecting. hotch and jj were the others of the team who had their own children, and therefore the most empathetic. and hotch had felt the fear of losing jack, the same day he did lose haley, so he was the one who could connect the most.
“when i thought, for a while, i was going to face my son’s funeral, i lost control,” he’d muttered to you in hospital, where you lay in a numb aftershock, “and that was only a thought. if there is anything, and i mean anything, we can do for you… you let me know.”
sometimes you cried, sometimes you shouted. sometimes emily did too. sometimes oscar asked why he never met the sister he’d been promised, and there was no answer for that. no why in the cruel, vexing world. but there was healing, gradually.
you slid breakfast to three settings on the table, bitterly wishing for four, with that same soft, sad smile from before, “here we are, my loves.”
while your son dived into the food enthusiastically, emily did not sit down at first. she rounded the distance between you to pull out your chair, something she’d done since your first date, and rest a hand on your shoulder. it wasn’t uncommon for the passing of a child to push couples apart, but it had glued you and emily together. the constant touches were just a reminder of the love still left in the world, one that extended far beyond to where your baby rested.
there was no combating the pain, but months of therapy helped you accept it as undeniable evidence of love. love for violet, love for oscar, love for emily, and love for yourself.
while your son was entertained with his junior lego set, you dried the dishes that emily washed, loading the bowls from earlier into the dishwasher. by the time you had finished, still moving sluggishly, the clock read half ten, and emily checked her phone.
“are you feeling up to some company, sweetheart? the team want to come and say hello this evening.”
you cast your eyes down to your hands, and finding them free of tremors, you agreed. it took some time to dress for the day, including a moment in the mirror where you had to shed some tears. emily reciprocated this reaction, and the two of you swayed in each other’s hold for a while. eventually, oscar became bored of his inflatable book and twisted his way in between the two of you to insist on ‘up!’. you laughed wetly, wiping your cheeks (too harshly based on your wife’s disapproving stare and careful repeat that followed), and bent at the waist to hoist your demanding toddler ‘up!’.
eventually, evening arrived, and you felt only minorly more prepared than before at the prospect of people in your home that day. nevertheless, you shook your body free of tension and headed outside at the sound of approaching vehicles. you tried not to think of that same sound, accompanied by sirens, coming to take you away six months prior.
emily descended the steps before your porch to meet the others at their cars, probably to issue an unnecessary but appreciated reminder for them to be sensitive. you stood in the doorway, determined to have the remainder of the day a comforting memorial, with oscar leaning his face on your shoulder. at the sight of the incredibly colourful and therefore toddler appealing penelope garcia, however, he quickly wanted ‘down!’, which you gave with a bright smile at his joy. one that surprised you, as you didn’t think you would be capable on such a day.
first to greet you was hotch, who had driven over garcia, jj and rossi, who greeted you in turn. morgan pulled into the drive at the same time, with reid in his passenger seat. there were all dressed in their varying styles, but they all sported a purple, or specifically violet, accessory. hotch’s tie, rossi’s shirt, jj’s bracelet, morgan’s shoelaces, reid’s vest and… garcia’s entire ensemble. hair included.
you willed the overwhelming emotion, as a result of their support, that scalded your throat back down into your chest, where it settled warmly. an acknowledgment of the family you found in these people.
there was confusion on your part when they did not try to enter your home, instead lining up on the roofless section of the porch with you. you turned to emily for an answer; she wrapped an arm around your waist and directed your attention to where garcia had brought your son to the cars. the two emerged holding many balloons, all violet, and begun handing them out to the line up of you.
“do you want to say anything?” emily mumbled to you, while the others pointedly chattered to alleviate any pressure you may have felt.
you choked and shook your head.
emily cleared her throat, leaning on you as she said, “we love you, violet.”
and the balloons went up. nine of them, twirling skyward with no weight to hold them down. they flew up and east, with the wind, and you stood until the last one edged from your view.
the sun set, and streaked her colour across it’s domain, bathing you all in that light and love you didn’t expect to feel on that day. that gentle hand on your heart, reminding you that you were not alone, and she was not alone.
#🤍ebullientheart#criminal minds#emily prentiss#emily prentiss x fem!reader#emily prentiss x reader#tw infant death#tw child loss#tw stillbirth#emily prentiss hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort#angst#tw grieving#tw grief#infant death#child loss#stillbirth#grief#bau!reader#emily prentiss x bau!reader
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you will blaze like fire (and lack the oxygen to keep yourself burning)
Dandelionkit blinks. “I want Lionblaze to mentor me,” she says, her voice barely above a mouse’s breath.
Squirrelflight crouches over her, tail draped around Dandelionkit’s thin shoulders. “I’m sure he’d love to,” she says quietly. “I’ll ask Bramblestar if he can, okay? But only if you eat your herbs.”
Dandelionkit looks down at the chewed-up bundle at her paws, eyes impossibly tired. “Do you think he’ll name me Dandelionblaze?”
Despite herself, Squirrelflight purrs. She runs her tail along Dandelionkit’s white-splotched back, hoping to encourage her to eat. “If that’s what you want,” she says. “I once knew a cat who picked his own name, too. I’m sure you can have a say.”
The pale ginger she-cat nods, beginning to lap up the pulp. “I’d like to be like him, momma. Lion,” she clarifies, as if Squirrelflight wouldn’t know. “He’s so strong.”
“You’ll be strong, too,” Squirrelflight says, willing herself to believe it. “Stronger, if you eat your honey. Lionblaze never took his herbs.”
The small kit manages around half the pile before she gasps, little sides heaving. The herbs come up with bitter, awful-smelling bile, and then Dandelionkit coughs and coughs and coughs, frame shaking and rattling and spasming—
(Squirrelflight has never felt so helpless.)
#cw death#implied#dandelionkit#squirrelflight#cw sickness#cw child death#warrior cats#waca#wc#warrior cats fanfic#warrior cats fic#tw emetophobia#tw vomit#tw implied death#lionblaze#bramblestar#crowfeather#mentioned#child loss#coughing
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I still cannot believe that I needed to truly explain to someone on my fic post that no, Hawk would not “put aside” his grief over losing his son. You don’t put aside losing a child, let alone when it is to substance use. Yet they still argued that a dad doesn’t grieve as much as a mom.
Grieving differently doesn’t mean you grieve less, you absolute sick f-ck.
#and yeah I blocked them in the end#they were like ‘he never mentioned it again so he’s over it’#it’s a SHOW you sicko#fellow travelers#hawkins fuller#jackson fuller#tim laughlin#hawk x tim#grief#child loss
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Anymore catalyst x horizon? I love this ship so much 😭❤️ I keep re-reading your other headcanons for them 😭
I'm glad you like my other work! Honestly astrowitch is one of my favorite ships in the game hdjdhaj I love them. I don't know if I have anymore headcannons that I haven't already said so I wrote a small fic instead, I hope you like it :)
Contains: hurt/comfort, established relationship, mention of child loss, grieving
I haven't written hurt/comfort since like middle school please don't bully me hdbsjsj
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The room Horizon sat in smelled heavily of incense and herbs. There were many plants lining the window sills and pretty much every other surface in the room. The space was comfortable, it felt welcoming and friendly.
Across the table in front of her sat Catalyst, looking ethereal like always. She was wearing comfortable clothes, a knit sweater and some sweatpants. She held a deck of tarot cards in her hands, shuffling them expertly. Ah, yes. They were having their weekly tea date. Catalyst had offered to give Horizon a tarot reading, since she seemed more spaced out than usual.
"Just think about what's been troubling you. It could be in the form of a question, or not." Catalyst's voice cut through the silent room, it was smooth. Horizon closed her eyes and thought about it. The room fell into comfortable silence again other than the sound of cards being shuffled and placed on the table. "Okay, open your eyes. Let me see what the cards have to say."
Horizon sipped her tea, tasting like lemon and lavender, and watched her girlfriend flip over the cards. Her fingers were entrancing, the way they moved without stutter or hesitation. She always seemed so confident in her actions. Horizon couldn't help but be amazed.
"The empress, reversed... Five of cups... The sun, reversed... oh Mary, you poor thing." Catalyst's expression changed, and she looked at Horizon in worry. It was obvious the cards weren't saying anything good.
"You're gonna have to tell me what they mean, Tressa. I'm not a mind reader." Horizon joked, trying to cover up her nervousness at the situation. She hated being vulnerable. She was supposed to be the one to comfort others, so when the situation flipped around on her it made her feel weak and scared.
To distract her from her discomfort, Horizon focused on the drawings that adorned the cards. They were hand drawn, all signed with a small star and moon in the bottom corner. Catalyst had made them recently and insisted on giving every legend a tarot reading to break them in. Every reading so far had been pretty positive, singing praise of strength and intelligence. This was the first time Horizon had seen Catalyst so troubled by the cards.
"Are you sure you want to hear it? I'm afraid it will be quite harsh."
"I'm stronger than you think, dear. I can take whatever this deck of cards will tell me." Horizon faked a smile and gestured for the other to go ahead with the reading. Still, Catalyst hesitated for a second.
"Okay," Catalyst sighed. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you."
The Empress is often a sing of fertility and femininity. When reversed, it signifies an emptiness within a person or that insecurities are showing. It can also signify a lack of progress.
"I feel like, maybe you are struggling to heal from a trauma that happened in your life. You miss something, it's making you feel empty, and you haven't been able to accept that it will never come back."
Horizon stared straight at the card, not wanting to see the pity that she could tell was in Catalyst's gaze. She didn't agree nor disagree with the statement, she couldn't bear to lie, but she couldn't admit her struggle either. So she chose to sit in silence and let her girlfriend move on to the next card.
The five of cups is a symbol of negative feelings, and often even just the sight of it makes a person feel discontent. They may be feeling disappointment or like they've been let down by someone close to them. It is also often associated with loss, grief, and mourning.
"You're grieving for someone... or something." Horizon could tell that Catalyst knew exactly who she was grieving for. "You're mourning something that you've lost. This can be the same thing that caused that sense of emptiness."
This time, Catalyst reached over to take Horizon's hand once she was done talking. She rubbed her thumb soothingly over her girlfriend's knuckles, and suddenly Horizon was aware of how her hands looked in comparison to the younger woman's. Horizon wasn't old, but she definitely wasn't young either.
She didn't understand how Catalyst was so okay with dating someone so much older than her. Sure, the age gap wasn't even ten years, but most people felt weird about the whole "lost in a blackhole for 87 years" thing. Catalyst didn't seem to mind though, in fact, she thought it was super interesting how space worked.
"Let's get through the last card. Is that okay, Mary?"
Horizon just nodded, finding that she was too choked up to speak.
The Sun represents joy, happiness, confidence, and success. Somewhat obviously The Sun reversed is a symbol of depression, pessimism, and overall negativity. This may be something bad that has happened to a person, causing them to feel negative, or it can also be a sign that you are being too unrealistic and need to ground yourself.
"The last card is telling me that the cause of your emptiness, your trauma, is preventing you from continuing on in your life. You can't do certain things that you'd like to because of this negativity bearing down on you." Catalyst looked up when she finished talking while Horizon continued to stare at the cards. "Mary... I know you miss Newton."
"I don't want to talk about him, Tressa." For the first time since she entered the room, Horizon didn't try to fake being happy. Catalyst knew that she was grieving, and that fact made her want to hide away forever.
"That's alright, love. What can I do to help you?"
"Some tea would be nice, and maybe we can just sit together?" Horizon looked up into Catalyst's eyes for the first time since the tarot reading began. In her gaze, she found the pity she was afraid of, but it was mostly overwhelmed by adoration and care.
"That sounds lovely. Let me put a kettle on." Catalyst stood up from the table, gently letting go of Horizon's hand as she walked towards the kitchen. "I assume you'd like something calming? Lavender?"
"You know me so well, dear." Horizon smiled. As Catalyst busied herself getting the tea together, Horizon took to running her fingers over the drawings on the cards. Such delicate, pretty things, and yet they tell you all your fears and worries.
Oh Newt, how I miss you...
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Sorry if it's a bit short, I've been sick and stressed over classes dhdbjsksk
Remember that liking and reblogging my work helps me a lot as a creator and takes like 5 seconds.
Also requests are always welcome! I really enjoy doing them :)
#apex legends#apex fanfic#apex fanfiction#catalyst x horizon#horizon x catalyst#astrowitch#apex horizon#horizon#dr mary somers#mary somers#apex catalyst#catalyst#tressa smith#writing#lesbian#hurt/comfort#child loss#established relationship
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My dearest apologies to everyone, but I will not be posting any more memes for a while. This past week has been extremely traumatic for me. I lost my unborn baby at 8 1/2 weeks along and had to undergo surgery. While I am doing well with a physical recovery, my mental health has declined dramatically. I love you all and hope to one day feel normal again.
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Not to be political, but it makes me SO ANGRY when conservatives talk about “late term abortion”. They imply that these babies are unwanted, unloved, and that their parents are morally reprehensible for aborting them. That is just not the fucking case WHATSOEVER.
I lost my little cousin Charlie James to “late term abortion”. He was somewhere around 20 weeks along, but past the legal cutoff limit for abortion. He was wanted, planned, and very much loved. However, at the anatomy scan, they made a very grave discovery. He didn’t have a bladder, and from what I understand, his kidneys didn’t develop correctly either.
Charlie’s family’s medical team searched TIRELESSLY for a way to save him, but there was simply nothing that could be done. Continuing the pregnancy would’ve been incredibly dangerous to his mother. After about the 20th week of pregnancy, the fetus’s urine makes up most of the amniotic fluid. Well, Charlie wouldn’t have been able to urinate, so there wouldn’t have been enough amniotic fluid, which would’ve caused serious problems for his mom. It was simply no longer safe to continue the pregnancy. (If it had been possible, I assume that his mother probably would’ve wanted to continue the pregnancy for organ donation purposes. She works in the medical field, and I’m sure she would’ve wanted Charlie to have been able to help save other babies’ lives.)
After a lot of discussion, Charlie’s mom was induced, and Charlie was born. He was such a perfect little boy, except that he just wasn’t meant to survive. He had ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, a little button nose… he was perfect. His family was able to hold him, cuddle him, tell him how much they loved him. Then, he passed away.
Charlie’s family bought the plots that were once intended for my family in case we had all passed away in some tragic accident when we were younger. Thankfully, we didn’t, and the plots were still available. (We wouldn’t use them if we passed away these days— Charlie’s family lives in Nebraska, and my family’s lived in Texas for 27 years. That’s just not where we belong.) Charlie’s buried in one of those plots, just a few plots over from my Papa (my maternal grandfather). Now, Papa passed away like 13 years ago, and he wasn’t biologically related to Charlie (Charlie’s on my dad’s side of the family), but I’m sure that Papa’s taking good care of him. ❤️ Charlie’s got a headstone, and he was buried, which shows you just how loved he was. He wasn’t treated as medical waste like an unwanted aborted fetus. He was treasured and cherished and has a place of honor in a cemetery.
So I guess what I’m saying is, when you think of “late term abortion”, don’t think of some family cruelly and callously deciding to terminate a pregnancy at 20+ weeks simply because the fetus is unwanted. That’s just not reality. (Not that that’s what I think of people that choose abortion for that reason— it’s just the picture that conservatives try to paint.) Instead, think of my little cousin CJ. Loved, cherished, planned and wanted, but incompatible with life. If you’re a religious person, then you could say that it just wasn’t in God’s plan for him to survive. If you’re not, then you could say that it was just a natural fluke in the developmental process, perfectly natural and not at all unusual in nature, but incredibly tragic. Either way, think of baby CJ and remember that these pregnancies aren’t terminated out of hate, but out of compassion for both mother and child.
#late term abortion#abortion#abortion discussion#abortion mention#child loss#pregnancy loss#I love you baby CJ 😭
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this week has been a whirlwind but i’m still pressing forward 🤍
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I just saw someone blame TUBBO for Empanada’s death, you know the man who wasn’t even online. He wasn’t even there how did you find something to complain about, it was about not telling Bagi about the bunker btw.
#Qsmp tubbo#qsmp fandom neg#neg#child death#child loss#Half the people on the server have been blamed at this rate but like tubbo wasn’t even online#He didn’t cause eye worker fights#He should not have been on your mind
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thinking about amy pond, who was 23 at the absolute oldest when she went through what she did in series 6. unknowingly ripped away from her best friend and her husband for almost an entire year, was alone in a spacecraft hospital, had to give birth to a baby she didn’t even know she was pregnant with, and then have that baby ripped away from her only hours later despite her husband and best friend doing their absolute best to save her.
thinking about amy pond who spent untold months wondering when she would see her baby again. thinking about how amy and rory sat there in their house waiting and waiting and waiting for a phone call that would never come.
thinking about amy pond who was abandoned and failed multiple times in her life by people she loved and trusted, including her parents, probably felt like she abandoned and failed her own daughter, even though none of it was her fault. anyways.
#baby melody haunts the narrative idc#dw my beloved#i have a lot of thoughts on melody#child loss#<- just in case
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hc that every year following jasons death, bruce unlocks his sons bedroom door and dusts the whole room. he sweeps the floor and shakes the rug. he takes out the half read books from the shelf, tracing the folded pages and bookmarks from where jason never got to the end. he refolds some of jason's favourite jumpers and hoodies, never touching the fraying red one tucked away at the back. he puts everything back exactly how he found them. he makes jason's bed, organising the pillows in a strange lopsided mountain just like jason used to. he opens the windows, let's some sunshine and fresh spring air into the room.
then he closes the window, closes the wardrobe, turns off the light, closes the door. bruce locks the door.
until next year.
#bruce wayne#jason todd#child loss#grief/mourning#its the only room in the entire manor alfred does not clean#because he knows that is a job someone else will carry out earnestly
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I hate that before what happened yesterday I could hold on to the idea that Elquackity couldn't do much but fail. But now? He's logged on the server and all I can think is "he is torturing eggs. He's testing CHILDREN and possibly killing them. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
#qsmp#child endangerement#child loss#death#child death#child torture#pleaseee tell me if I need to tag this#also#quackity I am kissing you right now#bc fuck tats a villainnnnn
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Bawling
#miscarriage#child loss#cw#abortion#Christianity#I am blessed to not have experienced such loss yet in life and hopefully never will#but it's a huge fear and I feel so much for parents who do experience this 💔#heaven#parenting
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(Lore Bit) “Is it possible to have a strong connection with someone and miss them even when you never even met?”
Miguel had his apartment designed to be perfect for raising a child, even after Gabriella died he couldn’t bring himself to undo it. So much so that Gabriella’s room is still the way it was all those years ago. Sunny doesn’t mind, there’s plenty of other rooms in the apartment. Sometimes Sunny even goes in Gabriella’s bedroom and stays in their for a while. Morning the daughter she never got to meet.
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