#BECAUSE I AM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND RN
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hey. hey. kinda insane that. in secret life. there was the zombie apocalypse. and who survived it?
grian. scott. martyn. cleo.
and now in real life? scott and cleo were the final two. and scott died to a zombie.
#momo rambles#zombiecleo#zombie cleo#rlsmp#trafficblr#traffic smp#CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#BECAUSE I AM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND RN
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ok!! But imagine this! you’re sitting at the coffee table on the floor doing some kinda work, minho sotting on the couch behind you. He says something to you, so you turn around to look at him, in the process placing your chin to rest on his mid-thigh as you look up at him with big eyes as you listen to him. ofc because of your sitting positions your mouth is near that *ahem* area, but it doesn’t cross your mind cause you just wanna give him your undivided attention as he talks. no other intention behind your actions. Ithink it’d drive minho iNSANE but he’d try to keep his train of though on track. but do you think as hes talking and looking down at you, he’d eventually snap and say something like “do you even know what you’re doing to me rn, or are you really just that clueless?” 😭😭
anon idk if you meant this as a first time prompt, but i already have one in my wip list so here's something real quick! assuming they've already been intimate before.
— very suggestive, hints of smut, mdni
warnings: profanity, finger sucking, hints to oral (m rec).
you're sitting between his legs when he calls you. he'd just been on the phone with hyunjin and he happened to tell him about this new place he went to with his partner. as your best friend and someone you share a lot of traits with, hyunjin thought it was a good idea to recommend it to you two. so minho starts telling you all about what your friend described, verbatim because he knows you love details.
as he keeps telling you about this destination, you turn around more in search of more comfort, resting your cheek close to his inner thigh. you look up at him from your position, blinking as you take in when he's saying with your undivided attention. minho's ramble starts getting slow, taking longer than fractions of a second between words until he's completely silent.
"hm? what is it about the food?" you ask him when he stops mid sentence, prompting him to finish.
"do you even know what you're doing to me right now? or are you really that clueless?" minho scoffs, almost embarrassed that just having you between his legs is making him hard. the way you look up at him, your mouth inches away from his crotch— you had to be teasing him, he wasn't that horny.
"about what?" you lift your head up from his thigh, genuinely confused by what he's hinting at. were you making him uncomfortable? annoyed?
"no no." he softly says, almost too quickly after losing the contact, a hand incites you to rest back on him just like you were.
his fingers trace your features. trailing from your hair down to your temples, cheek, chin, before his thumb drags your bottom lip down.
"pretty eyes, little mouth." he mutters to himself, not seeming to be able to take his eyes off your face. "how are you so fucking cute?" asking rhetorically, minho slowly pushes his thumb into your mouth, his head spinning at the way you open your mouth automatically to receive him. "makes me want to ruin you everytime."
his intentions clear now, you suck on him while he works his digit shallowly in and out of you. "warm little mouth. so fucking cute." he mumbles. his eyes are stuck on your face still, how your lips wrap around his finger, how you look at him through your lashes. it all makes him feral.
"who am i kidding," minho huffs, lifting his hips up from the sofa to pull his shorts down his thighs. "open." is all he says, stroking his now hard cock before guiding it to your mouth.
#lee know smut#lee know x reader#lee know fanfic#minho smut#kpop smut#stray kids smut#kpop imagines#skz smut#stray kids imagine#stray kids imagines#kpop scenarios#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz scenarios
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Thoughts on TBB 3x5: The Return
General Summary: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT
*stares at sheer number of bullet points in phone from this episode*
I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY THIS WEEK!!! PROPER ANALYSES MAY BE BACK!!!!!! (if I have time because I have so much to do D:)
ECHO'S IN THE THUMBNAIL!!! *cue biggest freakout I've had this season*
I genuinely let myself believe that we weren't going to see Echo this episode because I was so desperate not to get my hopes up. I though they were going to try and sort out some stuff between Cross and the other Batchers before bringing Echo into the fold but he's back!!!
The lighting is so pretty 😍
THEY TOOK CROSSHAIR TO PABU
HE'S TARGET TRAINING WITH AZI I'M GONNA CRY
The shaky hands are making me so upset 😭
But I'm glad that they're exploring something like this. It isn't just a case of Crosshair losing his spot in the Empire, it's about him being faced with something that affects his ability to be a sniper in all situations. His purpose was not the Empire, it was being a soldier, and that's what he's afraid of losing.
"IT'S ECHO!" Absolute mood and the only appropriate reaction to Echo being in an ep
THE HUUUUUGGG 😭❤️
Okay this may already be one of my new favourite eps
*replays hug 5 times before continuing with the episode*
"No hug for me?" "Depends on how good your intel is." Echo is defo still a little wary but the fact that the sass and sarcasm is strong between them is giving me life
There's been a lot of discussion about the parallels between what Echo went through and what Crosshair went though and I think that this is a perfect demonstration of the dynamic that stems from that. Echo knows what it's like to have your mind taken and to be used as a weapon against your brothers. He knows what it's like to not instantly be trusted. And because of that he has a leniency with Crosshair that the other Batcher don't. He isn't completely trusting but he's more willing to give Crosshair some grace because he understands better than the others.
"Especially without Tech" I'M RUNNING ON BARELY ANY SLEEP AND HALF A CUP OF COFFEE YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME
"I'm older than you are, little brother." The script for this episode is the greatest thing ever and I genuinely can't tell you how much the sass is giving me life rn 😆
Less than 10 minutes in and this episode is already killing me
WE'RE BACK AT THE OUTPOST 😭😭😭
CROSS IN THE ARMOUR AGAIN AAAAAAAHHHHH
Echo being the mediator in the group feels so appropriate
I adore how much focus Echo is getting this ep. They didn't bring him back and give him nothing, he's absolutely serving this episode and I am obsessed! 🤩
I'm in love with the fact that the Batch now just have a family pet
"I guess it served it's purpose." "Huh, sounds familiar." Initially this feels like a jab towards Cross but I don't think it is. That statement applies to all of the clones: they served their purpose and then they got ditched. It may have taken longer for Crosshair to accept the fact that the Empire didn't like him, but it is a statement that applies to every clone post Order 66. I think that that is what Echo is getting at: not a direct jab at Cross, but a general statement about something that Crosshair has finally come to terms with
MAYDAY'S HELMET KILL ME NOW AAAAAAHHHH
Mayday meant a lot to Cross and I think it feels particularly poignant now. He's back with his squad, but they don't all trust him. Crosshair could probably do with someone like Mayday right now, someone who trusts him enough that Crosshair doesn't feel as alone as he does.
Omega trusts him, and Wrecker is kind of there (as is Echo), but Cross still doesn't feel like he's home. He's missing one of the few friends he had.
Also, this is just evidence that Crosshair isn't the cold. heartless bastard that loads of people wanted to label him as 😌
Crosshair moving the helmets is such a simple thing, but it's so meaningful. The helmets were discarded and left in a heap, which represents the exact attitude the Empire had towards the clones. Picking them up and laying them out gives them a small amount of dignity.
It reminds me of the burial of the clones that died in the crash at the end of the clone wars. They may be in a remote location where they won't be visited, but they haven't just been left in a wreck, discarded. They were given at least an ounce of respect by their brothers and that is what Crosshair is giving to the clones at the outpost
Slight interval as I realise just how much I wrote down about this episode and just how much I have left to write 😵💫
Sensors down? That doesn't seem like that's going to go well
THE TOOTHPICK IS BACK!!! ❤️
"So yes, I did betray them, after they betrayed me."
This is all what it boils down to: they both feel betrayed. The thing is, both Hunter and Cross' feelings are valid, but they need to talk through why they made the decisions they did so that the other person understands. It's complicated because there isn't a good or bad side right now, they just won't listen to each other, nor will they talk things through because they don't trust the other person enough to be honest about their decisions.
"She went through what she did because you failed" OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH
I'm not angry at Cross. Don't get me wrong, it's brutal and harsh and a dick move but Crosshair is getting defensive because Hunter is being confrontational. They're both messing up here. I can guarantee that this is going to cause discourse among the Hunter stand who are going to get pissed at Cross, but you have to understand that his actions make sense. They're not good (in the same way that Hunter really needs to ease up) but it's behaviour that makes complete sense.
We know that Crosshair's way of defending himself is to be an arsehole. He puts up walls and he lashes out. And Hunter rn is mostly stewing in his own self-loathing (which is why Crosshair struck a nerve).
Hunter is likely taking his self-hatred out on Cross and trying to shift the blame so that he can tell himself that it isn't his fault. The problem is, it's making Cross defensive, so Crosshair is pushing the blame back and sticking Hunter where it hurts. They're both stuck in a toxic cycle.
Oh dear (I literally wrote down nothing else here. This was just my reaction to the giant worm)
Echo is so on it in this episode and I love it! ❤️
Oh shit bye Hunter
This season looks so pretty and the animation is gorgeous ✨
The worm reminds me of that thing from HTTYD2 👇
GROUP HUG
"And I don't even see any blood this time. That's progress" ECHO I FUCKING LOVE YOU OMG 😭
On a side note, we talked about how Echo's humour and sass kind of deteriorated after Skako Minor but it's coming back in full swing! It shows how comfortable he's become and is evidence that he's healing 🥲🫶
Echo talking to Omega actually has me crying. He's so fucking supportive!!! 😭
"There might just be hope for us yet" followed by a shot of the ice vulture flying towards the light. It's a good way of showing Cross' journey away from the darkness of the Empire and back towards a place of healing.
Okay so this episode just means like... everything to me. The humour was on point, the emotions were on point. We got some good content from every member of the Batch. ECHO CAME BACK!
I'm just so obsessed with this episode omg
AND BINGO UPDATE!
#one of my top 5 tbb eps#absolutely incredible]#the humour#the emotion#all of it was on point#10/10#the bad batch#tbb echo#tbb crosshair#tbb omega#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#the bad batch spoilers#tbb spoilers
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re: these tags
THAT'S SO COOL AHHHH!! good for you aubreyad community stays winning
[introducing this with a disclaimer in case i'm wrong about everything: i am only halfway through the series rn (just about to finish 10) and also am but a mere undergrad classics major who has yet to even declare said major and I probably don't have the right to be yapping about propertius. nevertheless i shall.]
anyway i have been growing persistently more insane about diana's proximity to a Lot of classical imagery, like how her first appearance in post captain is literally during a fox hunt + all the gender stuff she has going, obviously linking her to mythological diana (and artemis if we're going to conflate the two) but your take has sent me in a whole new direction with that-- because she doesn't actually really embody the artemis archetype all too much overall (an emphasized character trait being that she's notably Not Chaste) EXCEPT in relation to stephen, w/ whom her relationship is much more brotherly than it is sensual i guess?
which would align very well with your idea of diana as elegiac puella-- sort of in a way being mythologized by stephen-- resulting in the reader actually being able to see two different manifestations of her character (one through the eyes of an omniscient prosaic narrator and one through the perspective of stephen as a "poet" figure). and i just think that's neat.
my latin class has also been looking at a few of propertius' love elegies and, at least to me, they read a lot like if stephen 1.) hated himself significantly less and 2.) were less indecisive in writing about his Feelings?? 1.8 (and all of the poems concerning cynthia moving/traveling away and propertius being all moody about it) is very reminiscent of the arc from post captain to the surgeon's mate imo. 1.12 is also Literally Him-- "cynthia prima fuit cynthia finis erit" can be compared to stephen's poetic catastrophizing about how his life is Literally Over and Love Is Dead when he believes to have fallen out of love with diana!?!? i'm going to lose my mind.
sorry for dumping all of this on you unprompted and also sorry for the fact that it probably does not make sense. peace and love
if undergrad classicists don't talk about propertius literally WHO WILL. (genuinely my currently-being-written phd dissertation chapter is based on an idea I had in the class I read propertius in freshman year. never feel like you're not a 'real scholar' or something yet, because you honestly never do become something different, you just keep reading and talking and this is what we do! there's nothing realer than this!)
oh wow that's really well put--we kind of get to see her from an omniscient-narrator perspective and through the eyes of her lover who is Not Being Normal About Her. very nice!
yeah I keep reading bits of propertius and being like "hmm is po'b going to quote this one I wonder." (he doesn't mostly but I keep thinking he should. because I want the aubreyad to be denser and less accessible I guess? :P) there's a lot of catullus woven in too of course - I associate Catullus 72 with the 'falling out of love' arc (my dude that is not what falling out of love looks like).
oh gosh yes 1.8 -- that was one of the things I was trying to describe to Distinguished Classicist, the way she's so -- what's the word I want? not volatile... she disappears. she's constantly Gone. you turn around and oops, she's eloped to Sweden. (honestly though if Cynthia and Propertius could manage to have *fake* revenge affairs that would actually be *great*, for them that would be an improvement.) Gareth Williams (in a chapter called, amazingly, "From Grave to Rave") describes Cynthia as "ever only elusively visible in the narratological mist" and I feel like that's a bit what's going on with Diana. For her there's a genre element as well--she's a woman in the Men Going to Sea books, and even though the Aubreyad gives way more time to women than the average Men Going to Sea book, the fact is the camera frequently simply isn't on her. We see far more of Stephen thinking about her, hearing rumors, etc. than we do of her actually being on the page. Now in elegy nobody seems to be quite fully on the page, we only get "fragments of story" as Genevieve Liveley and Patricia Salzmann-Mitchell say (excellent collection by that name btw, I recommend checking it out if you're at all interested in narrative and lyric/elegy). But Diana manages this while being in a novel, which is impressive to me.
yeah stephen as a character is a lot more... self-reflective? than propertius' speaker. for one thing he's in a novel, I think, so he can actually... have a series of contiguous experiences. he's also a compulsive diarist which is helpful for self-reflection I guess. and more mature, like, as a human being, than propertius' speaker, who apparently does nothing with his life except be in love and write poetry, he doesn't exist outside of as a poetic voice whereas, again, stephen benefits from a third-person narrator and has medicine and spying to do and so on. also he's Catholic.
I love the "Catullus-and-water" line, it's like O'Brian just put in a little wink to those of us who would notice this, like, "yes I am doing this on purpose." All in all I've pretty much defaulted to assuming that O'Brian is doing things on purpose. although he did forget Babbington's first name that one time and retconned it very awkwardly
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alone, with you
yandere!kazuha x gn!reader
style: yandere
song inspo: love ka by hiiragi kirai (ado cover)
an: it’s unreal how this took one week to finish because i scrapped this idea the first time, went back to it, got lazy a few sentences in, left it alone for a few days, word vomited at 9 pm, and then finished it rn as i’m drinking lemonade. also on an important note i do NOT condone yandere irl.
notes: not proofread, yandere, unhealthy themes, obsessive/possessive actions & behavior, half-assed probably
Your vision was blurry and you could hear your ears ringing slightly. The overstimulation to your senses made you wince a little and made you flutter your eyes open in an attempt to readjust to the environment you’re currently residing in.
You feel your body resting on top of something soft which you assumed to be a bed. The room’s only source of light is the flickering lightbulb that you feel shining above you, making it a little harder to focus.
As your vision starts to regain its clearness after a few seconds, you see a shade of red and white watching over you, breathing over your figure as if you smell like that of a nice, comforting, perfume smell. From how close they were to you, their nose lightly brushed your skin. It’s Kazuha.
This caused you to let out a noise of shock and jump into a sitting position, which immediately made him back up a little from the sudden action.
His head tilted as he took in your shocked expression. Silently observing your every move. Confused as to why he’s with you, alone, you were about to say a word but you felt something pull you down.
You glanced down at what’s holding you down; metal chains. They’re holding your wrists and feet down to prevent you from moving any further.
“Ah, you’re awake, how’s your rest?” In your mind, his voice sounds comforting as if he’s genuinely concerned about you, but what’s within his tone is something much more sinister.
“Kazuha…?” The millions of questions you have in your head start to rush out of your mouth, “What are you doing here? Why am I locked up? Where are we? What’s-“
Kazuha holds his finger up to your lips and whispers out a “shh….” He softly chuckles and slowly takes his finger off of your face. “One at a time, my dove. You wouldn’t want to lose your voice from the amount of questions you have for me, do you?” Kazuha has a closed eyed smile and leaned against a wall as he awaits your response.
Your jaw went slightly agape as you couldn’t believe how calm he’s being when you’re in literal restraints. You took a few seconds to attempt to find the words to say despite how you practically feel frozen in place.
“How are you this calm? I’m literally chained down to this bed and you’re being so chill about it.”
Kazuha ‘tsked’ and shook his head as if you just asked a simple question. He picked himself off of the wall and slowly made his way towards you.
“Why, this is the only way that’ll keep you safe from the dangers that lie outside.” He leans towards your face, his eyes glow a red that makes you feel a chill rush down your spine.
From the close proximity you leaned back quickly, but that failed because Kazuha’s right hand made its way to cup your cheek.
“I do not want anything terrible to happen to you. So I’ve resorted to escorting you down in my basement, where the least amount of dangers would occur.” He rubs your cheek up and down lovingly as you grimace at his actions, feeling very uncomfortable with whatever he’s saying and acting.
You shook your head away from his hold and while doing so your eyes locked with his own. His sharp gaze striked through you, and yet you didn’t pay any mind to it. “What the hell are you talking about?” Your tone filled with annoyance with what Kazuha’s doing and you wanted this whole fiasco to stop. “What ‘dangers’ are there? I can look after myself, thank you very much.”
Your eyes started to scan around the dark room for a few seconds before staring back at Kazuha with narrowed eyes. “You’re also acting weird. A little too weird. Have you smoked anything funny today?”
The samurai closed his eyes, took a few steps back away from your gaze to run a hand through his locks where you couldn’t see his face, and laughed. But his soft laughter turned into maniacal laughter in a matter of seconds. You feel your stomach churn because of how insane Kazuha looks right now.
He lets out a whimsical sigh, taking a temporary break from his laughing fit. “Your humorous self never fails to amuse me.” His scarlet eyes flick towards you as if you’re his prey. He never moved from his current position.
“However,” Kazuha slowly walked towards you, his eye contact still in contact with yours. You trembled.
For the first time ever, you trembled. Within your years of sharing a strong bond with Kazuha, you never once felt scared by the likes of him because his presence had always made you feel safe. But right now, this isn’t the same Kaedehara Kazuha you’ve once known and looked up to.
Kazuha is standing in front of you; his silver hair slightly messy, his scarlet eyes glow a red that’s redder than the fruitiest of cherries, and his smile. It’s completely different from the usual smiles you see from him, it’s one that’s filled with insanity. Obsession.
“You mean the whole world to me Y/n. I can’t bear to see you get injured in any shape or form without me by your side to protect you.” His smile grew wider. “Now that you’re here with me, you’ll be safe. Forever. You needn’t worry about anything. I will take great care of you, my sweet, sweet Y/n. We will spend our lives together for as long as we can. With nobody of any importance to bother us.”
Your breathing hitched, and hot tears started to cascade down your face. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with him. A madman.
“You’re..You’re insane! You know that right?! What’s so special about me that made you turn out like this!?’
Kazuha’s smile instantly turned into a frown. You didn’t like the looks of that, but you braced yourself with what ‘crazy words’ he has to say.
“I’m like this because of you Y/n. You’re very special to me! You’re something more than the winds I tend to dote on every so often. Way more valuable.” He leaned down to your level and moved his bandaged hand to cup your cheek, your tears staining the bandages but he couldn’t care any less.
You didn’t like how creepy he’s being, so you scoffed and whipped your head away from his hold. His fingers spread by your action, processing your reaction, but he chose to not to do anything that would upset you. Oh, how ironic.
“What happened to you wanting to wander, who knows where? You’ve told me you can’t stay in one spot. So why?” Your voice started to crack and more tears flowed. “Why are you like this..?”
Kazuha stood up, once again staring right into your eyes, and his eyes glowed, half-lidded. Overpowering the only source in the room that was the flickering lightbulb. “If I have to give up wandering to only be with you, I will do it. If that one spot is shared with you, I am at ease. If someone were to upset you in the slightest by chance..”
He lets out a quiet chuckle. “Then I won’t hesitate to stain my sword if it all comes down to that. Which I highly doubt, now that you’re under my care.” Kazuha traces his finger from your head to your chin. “For as long as I’m here.”
The wandering samurai is no longer the same man you grew comfortable to be allies with. He’s gone. He’s a whole different person and you knew that. You felt like you’re burning up to a crisp from the pressure and his touch, rendering you unable to say another word to him.
Now that you’re stuck with Kazuha, in restraints, you have no other choice but to waste your life away with him as he will always be watching you.
He loves you, but you most certainly don’t. And he’s aware of that. Despite you not loving him the same as he is to you, he still has you trapped down with him. Forcing you to only pay attention to him and him only.
You had the misfortune of becoming his friend, let alone winning his heart over. In the wrong way.
#✏️ lume writes#genshin#tw: yandere#cw: yandere#genshin impact#genshin x gn reader#yandere genshin#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin imagines#yandere kaedehara kazuha#yandere kazuha#yandere kazuha x reader#kaedehara kazuha x reader#kazuha x reader#kazuha x you#genshin fanfic#genshin impact fanfic#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader
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Shiningsnow/Shyriioo on WA, Discord and Instagram is still a scammer
Literally they're still scamming to this day. I didn't recognize who they were until I realized their style was vaguely familiar, only for me to find out that they were shockingly unbanned in WA for some freaking reason. Even being one of the mods in a Warriors RP server called "Under the Stars", which is actually terrible because the owner and mod team are so disrespectful, rude, and genuinely close-minded. Even going as far as to disregarding other people's cultures and being ablest themselves. But I digress.
To this day, Shiningsnow/Shyriioo is still a scammer who still to this day purposely takes your money and doesn't send in any WIPs or any kind of updates to you. They don't even say ANYTHING to you about it being delayed due to irl things or whatever, but instead YOU yourself have to actually ask them for any update only for them to respond back to you in 3-7 days only for them to say "Sorry not yet :(" and wait for a few weeks to ask again (with no WIPs of art sent or any apologizes that they're busy with irl things), only for them to just send in excuses that they will "Send it in tomorrow because its on my laptop and I'm on mobile and in bed rn!" or whatever in relation to that response. Like holy shit, if I had known that Shyriio was Shiningsnow from WA, I would have never, EVER commissioned them in the first place. It took them over 3 months just for them to FINALLY send me the damn adopt bases I've purchased from them. And mind you I have repeatedly asked them throughout the months if they could send it to me, only for the same excuse to be sent as "I'll send it in tomorrow because its on my laptop and I'm on mobile and in bed rn!"
I'm a pretty understanding person. All of the artist's I've commissioned always gave me updates, WIPs being sent, and of course updates & apologizes for the delays and even gave me the option of a refund. Now keep in mind, I've commissioned them all for illustrated scenes, so of course I didn't expect it to be done extremely quick. Heck even if it took 6-9 months, as long as they kept updates with me, I am completely fine with waiting for that long.
But the way Shy does... First off, I bought three adopt base designs that already and comm'd flat full bodies of them as well. Nothing special, just something quick. Like maybe a week or two to finish. But it took them three months of constant reminders AND me finally at the point where I asked for a refund, that one Shy finally sent me the adopt base designs I bought from them, and TWO, claiming that in their "TOS" that it hasn't been over four months that I can ask for a refund and that they've apparently already started a WIP. And keep in mind, I've been watching how active they were the "Under the Stars" Warrior Cats rp server on discord as well as notice they've been advertising for adopts to be purchased, with a mixture of asking to commission others as well? Heck they even saw me be active multiple times in the server, but I guess that they just can't help but feel the need to wait so freaking long only to the point where they are at risk of losing money, despite them saying they have an IRL, decent paying job and shit.
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Hi again, I'm that same person that sent that long ask earlier lol
Okay ESPECIALLY after the poll you put up, I wanna say again that WE ALL LOVE YOU STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP /p
I'm stuck between wanting to be heartfelt and encouraging or just shaking you by the shoulders and scream at you /aff /pos
Ollie, genuinely, don't push yourself too hard. Yeah we love what you write, but we understand that you're a person with a life. You do not owe us anything.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, or maybe looking too far into this, but I feel like you're a perfectionist? And that you feel you have to crank things out quickly and it all has to be perfect. Maybe you feel somehow indebted to give us things to read. and lemme tell you, it's very easy to get stuck in a loop of "do the creative thing for your followers or else". That is, if you aren't in that loop already. I'm sorry, know I'm assuming a lot, and I'm not meaning to pry.
I just say this because I recognize the way you talk in your tags or authors notes. I'm not an author, but I used to post art. I kept getting more frustrated with myself, (and I can definitely tell you are too). I lost motivation, and it stopped being fun pretty quickly because I kept thinking "it needs to be perfect" or "I need to create faster" all for the sake of an audience. So when you apologize, or seem to value your writing so little, it just makes me worry that you're in that same loop. Heck, I mean, I still don't make art often, I still have perfectionist issues and worry about how fast I can create. But it's becoming fun again, slowly.
I just hope that writing is still something you like to do. I would hate for your passion for writing to be squandered by the pressure and expectations of an audience. I know you have a lot going on right now, even if you try and act like you should be able to push through it and write, but please take care of yourself. If the February challenge is getting too difficult, please don't feel like there's any shame in limiting your workload. We'll be happy with whatever you make, and I'll be even happier if I know you actually enjoyed writing it. /gen
WOW this is long I'm sorry lmao. I've been at this for like half an hour. (Do asks have a word limit? Oops I hope not ahshjsk)
Oh also, don't worry about responding to this is an "appropriate" way. I know that this would be hard for me to respond to, so don't feel pressured to say anything at all. Even if you delete this, I'll be perfectly fine with it. /gen I just hope you read it and understand that we care about you. Please feel better <3
YOU TOOK THIRTY MINUTES FROM YOUR DAY TO WRITE ME THIS???? THE HONOR???? SOBBING THANK YOU
Breaking this down paragraph by paragraph cuz you deserve it💪(also I'm avoiding responsibilities rn shhh)
Okay first of all, thank you a lot. This entire thing kinda helped me realized just how bad I was letting myself get. In the back of my mind, I know I don't have to write, or that I shouldn't be doing it the way I am, but it felt like an obligation at some point, both from trying to repay you all in the only way I know how, and from trying to catch up with everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I'm falling behind, and if I don't keep going, I'm just going to lose everything.
I forgive you<3/lhj, but you're not technically wrong. While I'm not in the perfectionist in the sense I won't post something unless I deem it perfect and have checked over 8 times(what I used to do), I still tend to pick apart everything I've made and found every flaw. I realize this is a problem, and have been yelled at by many a teachers for it lol. But yeah, a lot of the time I do feel indebted, and I probably am stuck in that loop(Which is why I'm so bad at actually taking breaks). Don't feel bad for assuming, nothing you could say would really offend me, and you've been dead on this whole time.
I've been meaning to stop talking about how much I hate certain parts of what I write in the tags+A/N's, because I know listening to me whine and cry about something that doesn't matter gets annoying, but I'm not good at that either I guess lol.
I'm fairly certain that writing will always be fun for me, as I'm still looking forwards to doing a lot of the requests I got and one set of ideas I have, but finding the will to write it down seems impossible right now. It's like I'm stuck at the bottom of a sheer cliff and I can't start writing until I read the top. The main reason I'm so mad at myself for flopping so bad with this challenge is because I was able to do the Horrortober one just fine, as well as maintain a schedule for a while. It feels like I'm getting worse rather than getting better, and It's just making me frustrated with myself to the point of just wanting to quit(not that I think I'd be able to if I'm honest. I tried once, yet here I am, only 3 years later.)
Anyways, I'm just going to start putting more time into the writing instead of trying to force a deadline. I want to be able to make longer fics again, and to start TWOAL back up(I've been avoiding it because I want the chapters to start being 4000+ to mimic actual books). I want my writing to seem like it has care and quality, and not like it was produced by a factory. I have once headcanon style fic about the Vamp turts in the work I was spending days on to make sure it was decent, and it alone is better than a lot of stuff I've put out recently.
ANYWAYS
Thank you! I appreciate your words, sorry for the vent. I'll probably just delete this half later lol, but I needed to get some stress out.
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i keep seeing all the stuff about the newest exes au chapter and so here is my two cents. james needed to lose regulus in order to move on with his career, and even though it hurt him, it’s still necessary.
what’s interesting to me though is the way regulus’ behavior replicates that of a manipulative parent. he feels hurt by a lie, which is valid, but rather than talking about it he purposely withholds his love from james, breaking his heart in the process, then continues to withhold the reason for several years. when confronted he takes the road of “well it was the right choice, you’re successful now, and i was hurt” as if what he did to james isn’t manipulative and awful.
it’s layer, it’s nuanced, it’s good writing (in my opinion). there isn’t one right side, both of them display their character flaws in the way they reacted to a complication. anyway, good job, i liked it.
okay first of all let me just say im losing my mind over you reading my au and also writing all this i am trying to look cool but im also screaming inside
its interesting that you compared reg’s behavior to a manipulative parent because i did not consider that. genuinely when i was writing reg’s part and plotting out his whole reaction to this all i had in mind is that regulus feels that he is holding james back and the best way to give james what he needs and wants is to leave, he never told james because he was scared of knowing why james did what he did but also he was scared that it might happened again but i do see your point and i got lowkey worried that i may be acting like a manipulative parent because i am a reggie kinnie HAHAHAHAHA
im gonna cry you think it was good writing let me just celebrate that rn HAHAHAHA i do love how this story went dont really want to pat myself too much but i am happy with how nuanced their break up is ultimately i wanted to show people that break ups arent always one sided and i hope this au did that
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legally required to send you an ask? what if i pull a neil and lie to the fbi when they come to get me??? genuinely tho, tsc was so fucking good. jeremy and cat and lalia's dynamic has me chewing on walls, but so does the unrequited kevjean (fucked over by another pretty face??? jean teaching him french?????) and reading about the foxes's wins from jean's pov has me screaminf crying etc but I'd really love to hear if you have any theories on Jeremy's family?
Surprise I’m actually the FBI and I’m onto u now
But for real I’ve been going crazy thinking about TSC since I read it. The kevjean dynamic has me losing my mind like I got SHIVERS reading his asking Jean to teach him French. And the way my stomach FLIPPED reading “did you know I’ve never been skiing?” From Jeans POV. Puking vomitting screaming crying throwing up okay
Jeremy’s family. I have NO idea. It’s so vague they’re purely like random shots in the dark as to what it could be but here’s my thoughts as of rn:
1) Jeremy’s family are big investors in USC. It’s why he’s Captain, it’s why he has to show his face at Knox family events, public gatherings and all that, because he’s the proof that the money is worth it for the returns, and he’s the face of USC. They’re counting on his success to bring them more money.
2) Half of his family are homophobic. Maybe it’s just because he’s gay and his Political Old Money family seem to not get along with him very well that I think that, but also him bleaching his hair blond and then being unwelcome at dinners because of it. It seems like image is very important to them, and even if he’s quietly gay, dying his hair could be perceived as a Gay Thing To Do. His sister says to him “you destroyed the family,” what specifically could he have done to tear his family apart? Imagine your family investing (millions maybe) into your team, your sport, and then you put their image in jeopardy for being the out and proud gay kid that creates a negative talking point. He also quickly puts his phone away when he realises his sister is around which feels like a gay kid hiding from his family thing to do.
3) the banquet im at a loss for to be honest. I’ve been trying to rack my brain around what could’ve happened, but what we do know is a) whatever happened at the banquet tore their family apart b) his sister pretends Exy doesn’t exist because of it c) she’s never forgiven him for it. Gay Trauma brain of mine says maybe he took a man as his date and it caused a lot of problems in his home life, maybe they asked him not to and he said fuck you and did it anyway. But would that really destroy his family? The therapist thing too. Fight back against what???
4) there’s obviously some weird relationship problems in his family too. Doesn’t like to be called Knox, says his grandfather is not his grandfather, avoids his brother like the plague. The only person he seems to talk to is the butler. His sister barely regards him as well. He feels like the black sheep but I don’t know why!!! Also at some point it’s mentioned (I’m pretty sure anyway) that he doesn’t seem to be getting much in terms of monetary handouts from his family so he’s potentially having Allison type problems where he’s lost his inheritance or cut out of his grandfathers will or SOMETHING. He feels like the disappointment of his family but I can’t place my finger on why other than the fact that he’s gay. I don’t know. I’m going CRAZY not knowing tho.
Jeremy is fascinating me and it’s infuriating that I don’t know more. I know it’ll make the reveal in TCS2 much sweeter but damn can I pls get a little crumb of his backstory? His trauma? Just a little bit?
Anyways this an incoherent jumbled mess of thoughts about Jeremy but I am SO curious about his family. The banquet especially because it’s pretty intense, or seems to be at least from that little paragraph about it. I would die for you Jeremy Knox just tell me everything first pls!!!!!
#Jeremy!!!!! my boy!!!! my gay boy!!!!!!!!!!#he’s too happy! I have to know why!!!!!#tsc#tsc spoilers#Jeremy Knox
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things that i would like to know about my fellow writers!
tagged by @aevallare thank you my looovveee
i will tag @simon-says-nothing and @raccooncrimes!
Last book I read:
i am stalled on The Witch King by Martha Wells, not because it isnt good but just because. lmao. If im reading, i cant be writing. or sewing. or or or. The last one I remember finishing was This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, and i loved that.
Greatest literary inspiration:
I put part of a Mary Oliver poem on my graduation cap. Also genuinely quite inspired by Tamsyn Muir.
Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:
I dont know if I'd ever try my hand at a modern au but i adore aevallare's pour one out.
I certainly wont write no-magic or all-human aus (I like tieflings a normal amount, she says, lying) but I'm sure someone could do something cool with those.
Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me:
:') i already think this about my work but i write it anyway. who wants to read astarion stuck in a druid grove when he's [redacted]?? well, i do, so now we have eldath's mercy.
i am working on a story rn where kira is a ghost haunting the szarr palace. do i think very many people will be interested in that? i dont know! but I want to write it, and at least one other person probably wants to read it, so. eventually, it will go up onto ao3.
id love to do something with a focus on minthara. she's going to matter in true colors but that's not going to happen for a while. for now i rotate her in my brain.
You can recognize my writing by:
7000 word chapters where fully half the words are the characters thinking sooo hard, mid-chapter pov shifts, asides about tiefling/druid culture that i've made up whole-cloth, tail mentions.
My most controversial take (current fandom):
if you mod anyone in the game to look younger/more conventionally attractive i am putting you in the oubliette in my mind-palace. why cant you like these characters as they are. i thought we enjoyed this game
if you mod gortash clean or mod away a character's scars, i am putting you in the oubliette inside of the oubliette in my mind-palace.
Current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut):
2 babeyyyy, but if i could instead shelve all the current wips and start wip #15 id be at an 8. alas! i cannot do this.
Top three favourite tropes:
in no particular order:
when a character's specific past experiences lead them to a wrong conclusion that is soooo wrong but like, ohhh sweetie. of course you think that.
magic that has a cost, even divine magic, and cannot fix everything
you were not selected for this. anyone could have been the person in this position. but you are here now, and you have to do the task. get to it.
are these even tropes? do i know what tropes are anymore. help
Share a random frustration:
I USUALLY AVERAGE 700 WRITING WORDS A DAY BUT IVE BEEN EDITING ELDATH'S MERCY CH 2 FOR ALL OF APRIL AND IT HAS BROUGHT MY AVERAGE WORD COUNT DOWN TO 26. 26 WORDS A DAY. BITING. BITING AND YELLING.
#tag game#thank you alex now i return to documence for real#all i want to do is write the regency au now but. em ch 2. i need that out. i want it done. please. crying.#leetlewrites
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Hey, I know I am the last person you wanna talk to rn, but my life is in genuine danger (still) because all I wanted was for a apology for the misconception.
I honestly meant no harm at all, and https://www.tumblr.com/lunarsilly/725681668334256128/all-i-wanted-was-for-fable-alologize-for-the
If you read this it will make a lot more sense.
I’m low empathetic and it takes a while for me to feel epmathy, and I think it’s hitting me like a bus
I never meant for you to be harassed anything (as I said in my OG callout posts) and I have not ONCE put your life in danger.
However, Davis has put mine in danger cuz he took some things I said in the wrong manner and it has caused me to get harassed to the point where I have to deactivate most of my accounts.
No, this isn’t ‘karma’ at all because I didn’t even want anything bad to happen to you and I didn’t mean to be malicious, all I wanted was for people to be aware that you could have possibly done this stuff, and benne like
“Hey, I have a choice if I wanna continue supporting them.” And unfollow if they please.
I have not once tried to put you or anyone else in danger, all I was doing was being like “hey, this can be seen as sams since you tagged it as such.”
Also to call you out for your ableism towards your own community.
That whole ‘no TSBS fictives and no factives’ rule is not only ableist, but it further Demonizes DID by saying that alters are their source when they aren’t,
People had a choice to support you, and I hadn’t meant for it to become this huge thing because a mess up in my wording )which I mostly wrote them at 1-5am, mind you. There’s going to be some mistakes since I was obviously running on 2-4 hours of sleep, and I always apologized if I said anything wrong in Davis’s DMs)
I get why you’re upset but this whole thing has gotten me death threats and it has also put not only me, but my family at risk.
Anyways that’s pretty much it, dm me on this app if you wanna respond.
This whole situation began because instead of trying to talk things over with me, you instead chose to cast a stone at me publicly. I’m not unreasonable. I would gladly have clarified anything you were concerned about, whether it be the claims of ableism or concerns about Lulu’s design. Instead, you publicly accused me of being a pedophile, not once, but twice. Which. I won’t lie; is a VERY harsh accusation that shouldn’t have ever been tossed out on a whim. The first was in a comment thread on one of Davis' posts, the other was a public callout post. You cannot downplay it by saying you just wanted to 'spread awareness' and 'let people choose to support me.' All I wanted to do was be left alone, and you wouldn't have it.
You took my art and made fun of it, called me names, called my partner’s alter names, and tried to make connections to an accusation that wasn’t there to begin with. I have co-workers that follow my SFW account on Twitter. I could have lost my actual job over this. You losing your Twitter account is not comparative to my entire livelihood. You can say you never wanted me to be harassed, but you slandered and insulted me all over Twitter and Tiktok during the entire duration in which this all played out, not to mention all of the posts and videos about me being ableist and treating me like some sort of class traitor.
I only spoke out about it when I was at the end of my rope, which you also mocked and slandered, and thus the harassment continued.
Davis reached out to me about it because after doing his own research, he saw it as unfair that I was being falsely accused of something that could literally ruin my life and career and put my safety in danger.
I didn't ask him to post it, and I certainly wouldn't have asked him to take so much time out of his busy schedule to research and write that entire google doc. All of the accounts he posted there are public socials, all of which have the Lunarsilly moniker attached to them somehow. He's never really talked to me much if at all outside of this situation.
As for the comments made towards people who were clearly against you, entirely unnecessary. If you wanted people to stop and leave you alone then you should have never responded. This stirs the pot and makes more trouble, it also makes you look bad.
I can't convince people to stop attacking you, despite telling them not to come after you in my last tweet about this situation. I can't order Davis to remove your socials from the google doc. All we can simply do is drop the subject and move on.
None of this would have happened if you just came to me first instead of airing out dirty laundry into public places where you were fully aware I was in. Next time you think you've been wronged in some way, instead of acting out, take a step back and breathe. Walk away from the computer/phone and clear your head so you can think straight. That is my absolute best advice to you.
I understand that you're only 15 and probably have some stuff going on at home, and the last thing I want is for anyone to get hurt. Death threats and doxxing are wrong in general, let alone to a teenager, and if you're reading this and have done either of those things to Lunarsilly, I am incredibly ashamed of you.
As for the damage? My alter is traumatized by the claims you've made. My early design of Lunar was never canon. His design belongs to me and I can use it however I please. He is not canon show Lunar.
Speaking of Alters, I want to address the ableism thing.
Once again, all this stress could have been avoided if you’d have just come to me privately on Discord when this was first addressed. I asked you politely to please keep alters of real people from the show avoidant of fronting in the TSBS server. I asked this of you with the knowledge of what was written in the moderator handbook that each moderator must read and follow in TSBS, and had no idea it wasn’t written in the public rules. I will admit fault for not checking that. It was never my intention to come off as ableist towards you nor anyone else.
We didn’t just come up with rules on a whim. We put rules in place to try and keep everyone in the server safe and comfortable, systems and otherwise. Ultimately, the bottom line was that some of the voice actors from the show found discomfort in seeing alters of themselves and their characters in the server, and the business that owns the whole shebang also agreed, and their word is final.
I entirely understand the frustration behind having alters from the show. I have a few of them myself and so does my partner. Yes, they are not their source. But that doesn't prevent the original creators, or actual person from being uncomfortable, much like some alters are uncomfortable with doubles. Everyone's system is different. Mine isn't large. It's not small either, but my alters all do have one thing, a mutual agreement to work together and harmony. If that's something you can't control, then I'd recommend staying out of larger servers such as TSBS.
I was also never obligated to tell you that I'm a system. I don’t exactly go out of my way to make sure every individual who interacts with me is aware of this information about myself. However, if you ever took a moment to look in my discord profile, you would have known. The first line that is on my profile on Discord is “Marshmallow System-DID” and it’s been there this entire time.
All I want is to be left alone. I want this all to finally be dropped so we can move on with our lives. I’m old and tired and simply do not have the time or energy to keep putting towards this situation. Just please, move on and leave me be.
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holy shit IM LOSING MY MIND??? I’m done it’s over and
I- I’m running out of ways to express my obsession with your Sickfics… I need to invent new words? Or new ways to scream in text form because I need you to understand how fucking AMAZING this new fic is 😭😭😭😭
It’s so damn good???? It’s SO SATISFYING????? HELLO?? oh my word cyno cyno cyno what an absolute mess you are.🥺 poor poor thing!! I love everything in this fic. I love their relationship and how comfy they are together - how much Cyno loved spoiling nari (and tighnari deserves it let’s be real) I love the use of implied both ends!! I feel like it works really well in this case and it’s subtle but I love the implication that maybe Cyno was coming down with a bug before hand since he wasn’t feeling hungry? But then it’s like the heavy food expedited that process. I love the descriptions of fullness and how he just- very quickly - is NOT okay anymore. UHG HIS ANXIETY??? you captured the thought process perfectly of just being seen and being seen too much and the constant what ifs. Idk if Tighnari knew cyno hated being sick in public but he ABSOLUTELY gets the picture now.
OMG and Cyno just refusing to be sick in the public restroom sent me. I was genuinely shocked he managed to not lol 😂😅 like you know you just KNOW that’s so much worse feeling in that situation. Tighnari must have been so concerned and absolutely not buying it at all. Cynos little “I’m fines” when he sounds like he’s close to tears STOP. AH!! And the weakness??? OML his faintness was just so good and I’m feral over all the little details with nari being like “ok if he doesn’t sit he’s going to collapse it’s time for mom mode” and how he takes command in those moments. So damn GOOD.
don’t even get me started when Cynos finally sick I can’t. My heart. Just all the worst things he wants to lay down his stomach feels so sick and now there is puke everywhere and- It was such a perfectly written scene 🥺🥺🥺 and the little FOX TOY THAT HE CUDDLES??? I’m gonna DIE?? IM TRULY DEAD?? I LOVE how attentive Tighnari is with his fussing and then very tactful more subtle support, just giving him the toy so Cyno can hug something on the way home cuz even if Tighnari knows cyno would never in public he knows him and knows he wants to be held rn and i -
I believe it’s 100% a tummy bug and not the food and that the ‘heat’ he was feeling was for sure fever and nausea and that maybe it wouldn’t have been this bad but anything he ate that day was going to more or less rot inside him. I have no doubts he was not done with the restroom for a number of reasons after getting home but I absolutely know he was 1000% times more at peace. Except for him replaying the events in his head for all eternity.
I’m truly never going to recover.
amazing fucking work. I’ve already re read this and I will re read again and again and yeah. That’s it. I’m just. Simply. Deceased. 😭😭😭
Thank you for this gift 😭🩷
I AM SCREAMING, I WOKE UP TO THIS IN MY INBOX THIS MORNING AND I WASN'T ABLE TO STOP SMILING AS I READ THROUGH IT 😭 You have no idea how much these comments mean to me, you made my whole day with this!
I am SO HAPPY you enjoyed it this much!! Allow me to get sappy for a moment, it already makes me so happy that people are actually reading what I'm creating, but knowing people enjoy it so much?? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and it makes me so happy. I enjoy writing sickfics so much, it's just a fun, self-indulgent hobby that I also happen to post online. And just knowing something I created, purely by having fun, is being enjoyed this much?? All the happy emotions!!
Alright, happy sappy earthquake out, let's scream about Cyno!
HE IS, he is such a mess, this poor boy 🥺 I definitely had it in my head that he was beginning to come down with something before the date even started, but having a heavy restaurant meal just made things go south so much faster. I'm really glad to hear I was able to pull off the implied both ends without it seeming too out of place!! It definitely felt like if I was going to have it anywhere, this was the fic for it, Cyno had a very unhappy stomach. He went from "i can handle this" to "i am NOT okay" in the blink of an eye and I feel so bad for doing that to him. THE ANXIETY! THE VULNERABILITY!! He can't stand that other people might just THINK of him as vulnerable, the smallest sign of weakness and he wants no eyes on him immediately. I definitely think Tighnari knew he didn't like being sick in public, but he didn't know it was this bad. He definitely hadn't expected Cyno's anxiety to go through the roof like that.
He BARELY held it together in the bathroom, I think Tighnari was just as surprised that he didn't throw up. Oh Cyno baby, I know you didn't want to get sick in a public bathroom, but you could've spared yourself getting sick in the parking lot. You just know he's going to replay this event in his head a million times thinking where he should've done something differently to make the day somewhat less mortifying.
THE LITTLE FOX!! PLEASE THAT WAS SUCH A FUN LITTLE DETAIL TO ADD. I have a feeling that little thing is going to become a big comfort item for Cyno. Only private because you know he would NEVER let anybody outside of Tighnari know that he even has a stuffed animal, but it'll become a massive comfort for him. We love Tighnari just knowing. He's so good at handling these situations and we adore him for it. He's giving Cyno so many hugs when they're home.
I definitely agree with you there, boy was feverish. His body temperature was all over the place, first the hot flashes and sweating, and then he was feeling shivery?? He's definitely sick sick 🥺 He's definitely not going to be done with the bathroom for a while. In my head I imagine even the drive home is going to be hell, I mean can you imagine being in a moving car on the road when your stomach is feeling as bad as his was? Yeah they definitely pulled over more than once.
ARGH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! I'm genuinely happy you enjoyed it as much as you did!! Again, thank you so much!!
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jjk s1 and s2 spoilers
caught up to the jjk anime this week and damn, hits hard
Animation is stellar, the characters are really fun, there's themes that really hit me hard and godamn the ending of jjk 0 actually made me cry, like tears were shed. I understood why my brother loved the movie lmao
but rn there's one man on my mind. Gojo fucking satoru
Gojo Satoru is just, wow, what hasn't been said about him? He's certainly a showstopper alright, I know Itadori's the protagonist but my eyes were on Gojo the entire time, season 2 personally was even more exciting with that in mind.
I haven't really had the time to do a deep dive on him, but I do have some thoughts... First, yeah he's hot asf I'll give him that (those eyes of his are on my mind and they won't leave me alone, also props to the english dub for the absolutely feral lines)
but the progression of him as a person is also really fun to see. I'm especially interested in him maturing from this arrogant and individualistic person at the beginning of season 2 to... well, still being that but also becoming a mentor to other people.
Like, that's such a huge step for me because contrary to what his pride tells him, he's come to realize he can't do it alone (I mean, he can at the moment but it's more realistic to try and personally raise these youth with potential so that they may bring about a powerful new generation)
The line about education really hit me and I kept thinking about it these last couple of days. He wants to bring change, but if he's the only one humanity has to rely on, he'll run himself ragged. And so, he takes the time and patience to grow these little seedlings, watch them get more powerful but also watch as they may fail along the journey. Even though he's become a teacher, he's not soft on them at all. It's a fact that if they're unable to keep up with him, they will get left behind. Whether that be in skill, or death.
Other than to raise more powerful sorcerers, I can't help but feel this also comes from a place of loneliness, because Geto left him.
I wonder, how much it will hurt to see his students fall? Because although they are improving at a fast rate, can they really keep up with The Gojo Satoru? Or will they against all odds, with his full support, be able to carry on when he's gone? Despite the uncertainty, he continues to teach.
Though the goal is daunting, seeing him wake up to his students and smiling brought such a warm feeling to my chest, it was so sweet.
Also love how unhinged he can get, like characters who do the manic smile thing never ceases to make me giggle excitedly (Nobara and Fushiguro also knocked it out of the park in that aspect, extremely hyped when they went completely off the hinge and kicked ass).
However, there's one scene that absolutely left me in awe. A beautiful mixture of music and imagery that sent shivers up my body every time I watch it. A scene in which he's shown being a mixture of unhinged, yet so at "peace". The juxtaposition is absolutely beautiful to see.
Fighting against toji, where he was high off his epiphany, he had an inner monologue so quiet, so relaxed and detached from how he usually is, coupled with the same piano tune that accompanied the scenes with him, Riko and Geto in the background. My breath was taken away, my eyes were glued to the screen in awe as the music crescendo-ed, and I couldn't help but think "he's beautiful" splattered in blood, bathed in sunlight and eyes glowing with the most vibrant blue.
After the dust had settled, the three of them lost something that day. Riko lost her life, Gojo started to lose his best friend, and Geto started to lose his moral compass and ideals.
The piano music was called "一緒なら" or "If I am with you/together". I wonder why? Perhaps the first time, it was from Riko's POV, as she, Gojo, Geto and Kuroi were sightseeing for the very last time.
The second time, although Gojo seemed detached from Riko's death, perhaps he genuinely cared for her, so much that he'd mourn in his own way.
The arc started with Gojo carrying Riko in his arms
The arc ended with Gojo holding Riko's dead body as the crowd celebrated her death.
He started to lose it, even asking Geto if he should kill all of them. Funny how the tables have turned.
#(SHEESH did not think it'd be this long-)#You know that twitter post about characters with big ol blue eyes staring at you? Yeah that's my brain on Gojo fuckin satoru#sorry for the incoherent mess of words I just vomitted out i have a lot of thoughts and thanks im okay how are you?#I mightve interpreted some details wrong but ill leave that for later#fruit talks
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I am bored bored bored bored bored and I don’t want to write about the things actually on my mind or happening in my life so I’m just going to critique this chart reading someone did for me a couple days ago
according to this person I AM going to get married just late…. like I shouldn’t stress for about 4 more years. and tbh a part of me is like “nooooo I want to be a young and beautiful bride” but if I shut that part up that sounds p ideal.
also told me to avoid dating anyone with Gemini placements…… girl everyone I’ve ever so much as had a crush on has Gemini placements. with the exception of my ex fiancé. I vibe with Gemini moons almost exclusively. the girl I have a crush on rn has a Gemini moon and I think it was the same day I got this reading that she told me she wants to kill me over and over. literally HOW am I supposed to turn that down. I’m only human faerie after all
mentioned that I need to be careful who I let close to me because a lot of people over the course of my life are very jealous/envious of me, particularly those with strong Sagittarius placements (which I’ve def found to be true). this is literally WILD to me like ik I’m pretty great but what do I have (other than looks and brains and intrigue and force of personality, okay maybe I get it) that you actually want. actually being me isn’t that great most of the time.
spouse will be sociable and emotionally intelligent and intelligent in general and religious/spiritual and “quaint” and love travel. pretty standard 9th house themes. also said she will have an “underlying intensity” which, yeah I hope so otherwise what are we doing together.
apparently my Uranus/Neptune conjunction in 1st makes me come off as unreliable and my Pluto placement makes me seem controlling/manipulative and too intense for many people. and those two things combined are why people decide to write me off as a bad person. which I guess makes sense bc what happens is they like all of a sudden see something about me they don’t like and then act scared of me??? even when there is genuinely no reason to be????? anyway apparently one of the big things I’m supposed to learn that will help mitigate this is to treat friendships more causally and not expect everything to be a super deep connection. but I feel like I already DO THAT with a lot of people + also when I do that I end up playing with them like dolls or chess pieces. and it’s fun but not satisfying. well whatever I have astrological license to treat my friends worse I guess
ages 24-25 were supposedly years of great personal growth and healing for me but all I did in those years was get abused and lose all my friends and have everyone tell me that actually I was abusive and a narcissist with 17 personality disorders including one that is straight up not in the DSM. and go to a bunch of therapy that didn’t work. and get addicted to weed and gain 30lbs and have everyone in my life collaborate on a giant gaslighting effort to convince me I was dangerously obese and they were worried for my health. and obsessively read r/amitheasshole trying to figure out the rules for Correct behavior. and cut myself to win arguments. and get kicked out of thanksgiving drunk in the middle of the night. and move to Spokane and have my first great love vow to hate me forever. and continue to get abused in Spokane, and meet some friends, and lose those friends bc I pissed off a serial killer dude, oh also I pissed off someone in the mafia I forgot that part, and get abused more and have a dead bedroom in my relationship and lock my entire personality up in a box and put it in a deep dark corner of my mind and give up on ever being happy. also I cried on my birthday both years. where’s the growth and healing…. I guess I hiked a lot in that time? and went to the gym but my heart was NOT in it
apparently I am v talented at communicating, networking, and making connections and can use my gifts to acquire money and power if I so choose. girl I so wish that were true
was also told what themes I will focus on during the next couple years of my life and apparently this year my focuses are: relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners, equality, sharing, interpersonal style. and I can see a couple of these but for the most part….. can’t relate.
#you guys don’t get to know the overarching themes anymore now sorry#all you get to know is I burnt off the ends of my hair. again
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SPOILERS FOR EP 11 DRDT
Since I did a prediction earlier today, time to update!!
OKAY NO HiATUS WHAT NOOOOO! honestly having looked at the time during the livestream, i genuinely was questioning how they were gonna wrap this up by ep 12 like last time and started to wonder if this chapter will be longer as we spent this whole epsiode in david's extended mask off moment. as much as im sad abt the hiatus i am glad this is extended BECAUSE WE DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE ACTUAL CRIME SCENE OR A DEBATE SCRUM tho ughhh noo this hiatus might kill meeee
OKAY DAVID OMG bro lost it AHHHHH i really wanted to believe that david had a good/moral reason for all this but to know he did all this secret maliciously?!!? ik he's not killer for sure so i do wonder how he's gonna be used in next chapters cuz as hot as he lowkey is rn and i do love his biting sarcasm, he's gonna be geninuely such a bitchy force to deal with in future chapters. to have this man constantly causing trouble for no other reason than fun and never trustworthy, i have to wonder if there's any hope left for him. i really hope that his arc actually has him improve cuz u know, poetic irony and all that jazz. Since now we know he doesn't believe what he says, i truly hope drdt takes the time to prove him wrong cuz i really dont want a grimdark killing game proving david (and in some ways, teruko) right. and also, idk why people are surprised david would lie abt being arei's killer and want to get himself killed rn. Bro literally now has lost his career and his public image is ruined. He doesn't have a life anymore for him to go back to. He already mentions how he hates everyone there, so I see zero reason why he wouldn't lie to drag everyone down with him
ACE SLAYS ONCE AGAIN! BRO POPPING OFF WITH THE TRUTH YESSSS AND CALLING OUT PEOPLE'S HYPOCRISY FOR NOT GOING AFTER DAVID WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Also j saying that she doubts ace's testimony just cuz she thinks he cant be quiet makes me sadddd
ALSO NICO AND CHARLES!!!! I love that nico comes back in clutch to help actually point out david's suspiciousness. His bluntness is always needed, especially with cutting through david's bs. ALSO CHARLES YESS IM GLAD HE IS NOW GONNA BE CRITICAL TO THIS CASE!!! I like that drdt takes advantage of its video format as normally to have a character interject like that in a mainline dr game would be bad since it's interupting gameplay and taking control out of player's hands. But it works here since we're not actually playing and shows teruko and charles backing each other up and shows people actually getting involved!!!
To the actual crime ... uh i dont know ... clearly this crime is so complicated that we need a TRIAL 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO lmaoo. i mentioned before but charles's comment of "fucking up" at the end seems to strongly imply the time of the murder, and thus everyone's testimonies for that time, are now irrelevant. Since arei was alive in the evening last night (ace does claim 7:30, but i do agree with david that ace might have just said that to back up his point rather than it being true) the death happened the prior night or early that morning. it puts into the question the note, calling for 7:30 but it could be 7:30 am before the motive reveal. however, unless it was something like a trap, such a time is so tight i find it hard to believe. maybe i'll do a post later doing a fully theory as i lose my mind during this hiatus (praying for it be under 6 months)
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I am screaming rn
Okay something happened in the latest Ear Biscuit and I am freaking losing my mind. It might sound a little obnoxious but it is out of genuine enthusiasm. If you are following, you know how I love to analyse stuff, like feelings and situations. And I feel that something that was discussed in this episode was great vindication / validation for my efforts to understand these two men.
I am talking about the EB where they were given various scenarios in which each had to predict the other’s reaction. My point of interest was the second scenario; what Link would choose to do if he was invisible for a day. During all these scenarios, I was playing along, trying to imagine what they would do too. So in this one, an answer came quite quickly to me and it was the following:
“Link”, I thought, “ would immediately go to Rhett’s house or where Rhett is anyway and try to figure out whether Rhett’s love / care for him is genuine. I am not sure how he would do it though, probably he would check how Rhett interacts with Jessie in private or how they talk about him behind his back or what Rhett tells Jessie about Link.” END OF THOUGHT
A little context before I continue. I have written many times before about how Link’s root of his frustration with Rhett, with all the anger bursts and nasty jokes, is his uncertainty about Rhett’s feelings. Link does not take Rhett’s feelings for granted at all, in fact he has doubts about them, and he loathes that Rhett has (seemingly) zero doubts about Link’s love for him. Whether Link’s concern is any founded at all or he is acting all possessive (don’t forget his widely acknowledged abandonment issues) I cannot decide yet. Also, the reason I believe Link wants to use Jessie as a meter for this is… well… obvious. I know some people don’t like this but it doesn’t take much to see that Link is antagonistic towards Jessie. Let's...let's be real for a sec, okay? I am just an eye and an ear. Don't shoot the eye or the ear.
And now that we’re done with the context, here’s what Link himself said he would do:
Link: Gain access to. Information. And, um, I decided to invest the limited time I have in - as an invisible - to learn what people think about me. Really. Like, I wanna put myself in positions where people -
Rhett: Give me an example.
Link: Like, every relationship that I have, I'm talking work relationships, friend relationships... I mean, it was a quick answer but-
(...)
Link (after some non-significant joke part initiated by Rhett ): I feel like I know what Christy thinks about me. I don't feel like it would be fair to spy on my wife.
Rhett: But I feel like maybe you can predict what all these people say about you without you being there...
Link: Yeah... maybe there's not much to learn and maybe it's only... maybe I don't want to learn it.
Rhett makes it less significant again.
You see why I am screaming? Link essentially said just. that. Of course he said "people" and "all my relationships... work relationships...friendships" and he might mean it for more people, sure, but first and foremost he said it about Rhett. He tried to generalize in order to not be exposed or not offend Rhett in particular. Rhett indeed became quite inquisitive, probably in order to figure out what exactly Link meant by this. Link backtracked quickly, waving it off as a quick answer or that it didn't make much sense but it actually makes. perfect. sense. Link is not the first of us to question what his closest people really feel about him. But Link backpedalled because otherwise he would expose himself.
Still, Link did try to pass the message to Rhett, somewhat. He hinted at it when he said all his friendships and work relationships, by only excluding Christy (not taking into account the kids here). Well, what's next and not excluded? Rhett. So, Rhett's the very first. Rhett was either innocent or cunning enough to not ask about himself. But, not to sound like a broken record, he was not excluded and I doubt Link cares more what Chase thinks deep inside or a friend he sees once per month for a hike. Sorry to say this but I don't think Link cares THAT much what his employees think of him as long as he ticks off all his responsibilities as an employer and boss. Or at least, not in the way Rhett imagined it (with sending a stupid text to an employee and checking their reactions and all). Rhett probably intentionally tried to turn Link's answer into a joke in order to disorientate the viewers, however he also looked genuinely baffled and I don't get why he would be baffled about such a honest and maybe even common answer.
Here's what makes me suspicious; Rhett makes the quite strange remark that Link should maybe predict what all these people think about him in his absence. I am SO confused with this. Why? Why should he be able to predict it? Don't we all have similar concerns? Should we be able to predict what others truly think about us? Most of us just take leaps of faith. Rhett's argument literally makes no sense whatsoever. And yet Link quickly agrees, not questioning it in the slightest. My best guess is that either Rhett was trying to save Link from the hole he (and Rhett) were both digging for him by focusing only on the employees out of fear of being exposed, even though Link's true answer wasn't about them, not mostly at least. Or it was Rhett's own veiled answer, a " you should be sure about what I feel / think of you, even when you 're not there", which is why Link quickly retreated , because this could lead to a fight or Rhett feeling hurt. Maybe both guesses apply actually.
Another interesting moment is how Link says he wouldn't spy on Christie. While this is a reasonable choice to not throw his wife under the bus, it's very interesting that he says "it wouldn't be fair". He doesn't say it's out of solid trust. He does say he thinks he knows how she feels but still, the fact that he wouldn't do it because it wouldn't be fair is a very interesting choice of word for me. It's almost like saying, when you give someone your all, you also expect their all in an equal, fair relationship, but when you give someone like, your 50%, it wouldn't be fair to demand their 100%. You know?
In the end, after agreeing with Rhett it's insignificant and that it should be obvious what others feel about him (no it isn't? wtf), Link essentially shoots this down by saying it would be a poor choice, not for the aforementioned arguments, but because perhaps Link would eventually regret learning what others truly feel about him. And somehow I doubt this is about twinkle fingers. It could be about him too but it's not about him first and foremost.
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